#anyway mASS improvement even tho i have this thing going on now where i always draw onE EYE HIGHER THAN THE OHTER every time wow

[cheswirls]

redraw!! 2014 > 2018

[cloveroctobers]

•ALLEGRA BIANCHI•

IG info/bio: @/theeallegrabianchi | 303k followers| Entrepreneur | bad bitches go to therapy thxz 🦭👄

(24) 26 years old

From Swansea, Wales

Ofc she knows who Catherine Zeta-Jones is...her mother literally resembles her and remembers people coming up to her mom countless times asking for a pic growing up, and Allegra hated taking pics for these imbeciles...mainly because the attention wasn’t on her

has a dysfunctional family...

her mother is critical of almost everything she does but at least she paying attention?

and feels her father is neglectful and only seems to be heard when she’s in his face

all they know how to do is scream at each other instead of talking calmly to one another

her mother is of Venezuelan heritage

And Her father is of Italian heritage

her father’s side of the family resides in calabria italy

he named her after his high school gf that passed away due to his irresponsible drunk driving on their senior prom night

Her parents do not have the healthiest of relationships due to her father constantly cheating on her mother in the past...leading to verbal and physical fights

also has a kid or two outside of their marriage because of his unfaithfulness and allegra learned to hate them because of the hurt her mother showcased

In the beginning she was only around them because her father enforced it, that she needed to know her family “blood is all you got in the end.” He would always say but that was bs

Would take her, her half sibs, and her full sibs on day trips/weekend trips in his suburban

Has three full older brothers and one full younger sister

Because of this, Allegra did not have a clear view of what love was supposed to be and felt that anger in a relationship is supposed to be somewhat of the norm?

Many times she wished at night in her bed with a pillow over her head that her parents would just file for a divorce already when their fights would get bad to the point things would get broken and her mother would h*t her father (once with a metal bat) and throw him out of the house

Has had the cops called on their household before and cps definitely has/had a file on them

Has been in family therapy before and is currently in therapy mainly for herself because of the trauma & how it’s messed with her spirit as a person

Loves? Cares for her parents from afar but will never understand their relationship and why they’re still together to this day

Can go months without speaking to any of her family members and be completely fine with that

Had her younger sis, Nerina put her PRIVATE shit on blast via internet after love island aired and completely cut her off since she is “a clout chaser and money hungry bitch who can’t take care of own her child cause she opened her legs to a meth head who loves prison” OOP

she only has a decent relationship with one of her brothers who’s two years older than her, Vito. They seem to be the closest out of the sibs and he’s the only one she bothers to speak to from time to time

She’s a “cocktail entrepreneur” so I’m guessing she has her own business where she specializes in her own cocktail drinks? Working in some upscale rooftop/penthouse bar where she successfully makes profits from her signature drinks or has a brand that focuses mainly on cocktails

It took years for her business to take off and hasn’t been easy, not one bit. At times it felt like everyone wanted to see her fail and she has openly spoken about her struggles as not only a entrepreneur but as a woman in this business where no one wanted to take a chance on her

That just lit the fire that’s already inside of her

Aries sun + Leo moon + Scorpio rising? (Personality vs how you react to things emotionally vs you’re outside shell for those who don’t follow this too much. I’m not too in depth about it but I do find it interesting!)

Or should she be reversed as a Leo sun with a Aries moon? Aries are direct, fiery, one step ahead of others, impulsive, and know how to take charge. Leo’s are dramatic, loves attention, passionate, loyal, warm, and have a need to express their passions, and scorpios are intense, secretive, mysterious, and work strategically

anyways, I feel like she’s definitely improved as a person over the span of two years? Or at least I hope she has cause everyone goes thru changes

And she was frustrating in s1 so I just know she had some deeper issues going on so I really think therapy is helping her ass I wish it would help me lmao

Being cheated on honestly made her feel like her mother, weak in her mind she was with this dude for awhile—3 years and he just up and thought it was okay to cheat on her? With his personal trainer?! Yet he didn’t gain any muscle mass?! The ultimate disrespect!!! but one thing she knew? She wasn’t going to stick around like her mom did

But she was bitter about it foresure. She ultimately wanted to corner the girl for messing with HER man but part of her knew she wasn’t the only one to blame. However that didn’t stop her for cussing her out via voicemail a couple of times while intoxicated

Allegra always strived for love cause she’s never really seen it before or felt it

Sure she’s had many boyfriends before?And their names didn’t matter not only because she didn’t remember them? But she never felt the spark with them in the first place?

Maybe she wasn’t meant for love so she kinda put on this bitchy front and always been that way with some shitty friends she had around her until she recently cut them off a year ago

has gotten herself into trouble as a kid: trespassing, and destroying public property, smoking in the girls bathroom, physical altercations, cutting class, being assigned community service, etc... all with these friends she’s had for years!

Before she met her problematic friends in secondary, when she was in her pre-teen stage she was involved in the handbell team and in the Color guard but hates to admit it even tho her parents have pics all over the flat

went away to uni for a semester and wanted to join a sorority but the hazing was extreme to the point she was sent to the hospital then accepted? Which led to more trauma in her life so she dropped out

A few years later she decided on online courses and moved out of her parents flat as soon as she could with the $ she saved up and did not leave in the house since it was not safe to smh

Therapy was really helping sis, she felt a lot better and was working on her deep rooted issues mainly the anger and hurt and never really realized how it revolves around her life. She was super thankful for her therapist and reshaping herself

Many didn’t buy it but she knew she couldn’t give that much of a fuck? She couldn’t. In order to grow you got to learn that you have to involve for yourself and not others

She didn’t like the person she saw watching the show back but when she came back to the reunion a part of her hoped people saw some sort of change in her—even if it’s only been a few months since the show then

Sometimes she’ll slip back into old habits, wanting and doing so by snapping on people and blacking out by getting intoxicated and knowing that healing is a process and valuing yourself is the exact same

has a toy poodle that she loves deeply

doesn’t have many outside friends after cutting off the ones that were toxic

is pro-ab*rtion and had one herself which was aired out by her sister online

has a cozy flat that has a lot of brick exposure inside, a navy sofa which is her favorite piece in her house, and a view to die for!! which erases the fact that her apartment is “cozy” which she uses to replace the fact that it’s much smaller than what she originally wanted. She dreams big ya know!!!

currently has a crush on her art teacher who resembles Adam Rodriguez

but also feels like liking your teacher/instructor is a bit weird? Even tho they’re both grown

yes she is taking art classes now outside of work to find something that’ll bring her peace and these pass months they have until COVID hit where classes had to be cancelled yet she was contacted to continue online but she felt her art was truly shit but he says art is subjective

She feels like there’s a connection there? But at the same time isn’t looking for another relationship until she fully works on herself first! That took awhile for her to accept after she fell into some relations with a few ppl after the show

from there she realized that she might like girls too? And got a little annoyed that it took her this long to figure out especially with the way she felt around MC and cherry

doesn’t like to admit this but her fav holiday is Christmas? Even tho the theme is majorly corny to her but it actually makes her happy?

Feels like that was the only time her family showed love towards each other, and even tho they didn’t come from much, they always followed thru with their traditions

and she misses them a little bit around this time and might be the first one to call them even if the calls are short lived and kinda awkward at first

Loves making gingerbread houses and cookies

i feel like she now embraces her forearm hair but still gets everything else lasered

Miss Allegra has inches okay?! But I definitely feel like now in 2020 she’s chopping that shit off into a pixie cut and when she posts on the gram her hair is usually always damp when she shows it off

some comments — jake: lovely! Jen: babe, ur beautiful! Erikah: 😍 Tim: how hot! You’ve got the whole resident evil thing goin for yous

“Did he just call me a virus?”

And she might get a like from mason that’ll make her feel some type of way

We all have to go thru some growth you know so do you girl!

You can’t tell me she doesn’t play stabscotch!

Used to be obsessed with social media way before going on love island but lately doesn’t mind disappearing for months at a time? You have to cleanse yourself from that shit

idk i see her being mostly cool with jen or erikah and will hang out with them from time to time? Maybe they experienced some growth too, shit I sure hope so

still feels something for mason??? But at the same time maybe it was mainly superficial since mason wasn’t fucking with her like that, not 100% but at the same time gets frustrated that he still doesn’t see where she’s coming from and it’s been 2 years???

She loves hard if given the chance and then feels like shit when it doesn’t work out cause it feels like she wasted a fuck load of time

she no longer follows him because she feels like it’s better for her spirit or whatever and she doesn’t need to see him with someone else

the only guy that she really interacts with is Tim, yet tim is cool with everybody!

Otherwise there’s no real connection with her and anybody else? She wants to keep love island separate from herself now because she’s not exactly the same as she was two years ago? And hopes someday people will get that

Probably watches those auction shows on the telly late at night when she can’t sleep, hoping and can afford some of those things one days

I feel like she has chronic migraines too?

Once had a significant other buy her Allegra-D in all seriousness for her birthday because it reminded them of her & thought it would help her headaches 🤨

Loves the snow, but hates cleaning it off her car! S/O to those HOA fees, bless it cause leggy’s deff bussed her ass once before breaking her collarbone and sued like a mf!!!

Since her hours are hardly consistent since she’s mainly her own boss, she’ll have late nights/early mornings when she returns home and has to shift days where she cleans the flat but when she cleans??? It’s best everyone stays tf out of her way

And don’t try to help her cause you’re doing it wrong 10/10 of the time, she loves cleaning and has dropped mad money on those super expensive vacuums

Only knows how to make what’s relative to her culture: arepas, penne alla vodka, and cawl but otherwise than that? She’d rather clean then spend hours in a kitchen cooking unless she’s making cocktails ofc!

also loves shopping for clothes but shoes are her fav things to shop for

Deff has a steamer over a iron for her clothes

Keeps eucalyptus and lavender oil in her purse at all times

posts mainly on her stories and made a deal with her supporters that she’ll go live once a month since she feels like she owes them that? Since she’s not as active anymore but she really doesn’t owe anybody shit but out of the newfound kindness of her heart...she does

Believes she got Covid before they all decided to do a shut down/lockdown of restaurants, bars, etc.. and her suspicions were proven correct after she decided to get tested

her anthem? Kali Uchis — Dead to me (acoustic version)

[justsomeantifas]

I understand you don’t believe in gun control until police are regulated, but don’t you think there’s absolutely no reason why people need these AK47 guns? You can’t use it for hunting, and it’s too dangerous to say you want it for self defense. I like this blog but I cannot understand how you’re fine with innocent people dying at the hands of these supremacists who could’ve been stopped had there been a ban on these weapons. Am I missing nuance on this issue here?

until race relations are improved people will keep dying. white supremacists aren’t going to be targeted under gun control laws. the only people who are going to be targeted are mentally ill people, poor people, and people of color, especially black people. [as is historically true, as all the current bills on gun control show]

if you’re going to think these neoliberals actually give a shit about preventing white supremacists from harming folks you got another thing coming.

also if you’re specifically talking about the semi-automatic gun used in the walmart shooting in el paso … idk what to tell you but semi-automatic guns … aren’t automatic. they’re still used in hunting… 

idk what you’re picturing but like as someone who actually fucking hunts, you do use things like a semi-automatic ak47 to hunt… 

its … really not unheard of … it’s not a fucking machine gun, it’s not rapidly spitting out bullets as soon as you hold the trigger down.. 

it’s literally no more dangerous than other more common hunting rifles especially in smaller confined areas.

semi automatic just means you don’t have to keep fucking loading it to shoot, you can just pull the trigger and one bullet will be released until you’re out of bullets

a regular fucking .22, baby’s first rifle, is a semi-automatic.

thats no different than literally any other semi-automatic gun. it’s not special. it’s not some great fantastic special killer of people. it’s just a semi-automatic gun. ….. thats it.

banning all these different kinds of guns isn’t going to do shit, a gun is a gun is a gun, and any modern gun will kill people and it will kill them efficiently. even if you have something that you have to reload frequently … you will still get people killed.

what you’re probably thinking of is an automatic gun … which means when you pull the trigger down it will release bullets as long as you hold the trigger. this isn’t a very efficient use of bullets anyway … and in most mass shootings they aren’t using automatic guns… 

most active shooters use handguns, not rifles so the vast majority of gun crime, even in white supremacists attacks aren’t even using these expensive fancy guns. [like i said, a gun is a gun is a gun]

most cases where police shoot people thats also a handgun. … handguns have a much higher death toll on their hands. [again, a gun is a gun is a gun]

now of course, semi-automatic rifles are used in like 6 out of 10 of the worst mass shootings. but like the handgun being the one with the higher death toll on its hand, this is a statistic of convenience.

automatic guns are expensive as shit, and hard as fuck to get your hands on. of fucking course the most common guns used in killings are … just literally the most common guns you can get your hands on.

are rifles better at killing? yes. thats why you’re not fucking hunting with a pistol, obviously. hence their use in mass shootings.

semi-automatic guns are important in hunting, as reloading after every single shot when it’s 20f degrees out and raining … fucking sucks. and usually you don’t even have that many bullets in, most guns used in hunting have like … what 4-12 rounds.

[edit, as i forgot to add] yes there are also the bolt-action guns, which are more common, in a bolt action gun, you’re manually re-chambering the round. they are not as quick though. and i mean people have preferences. imo… both of the guns are equally deadly tho. so i don’t really see a point in banning one over the other.

bolt-action guns are more precise than semi-automatic, and with a skilled marksman like .. they’re still going to be able to rack up the death toll with one. [cant really stress enough, a gun is a gun is a gun is a gun]

maybe if you really wanna get into it, you can suggest that the magazine capacity on semi-automatics shouldn’t carry that many rounds, and yeah, thats fair, i can see the purpose in that. for hunting you don’t .. generally need 30 fucking rounds before reloading lol… at least in my experience.

also

you go read how they’re talking about these bans though, they’re still talking about how mentally ill people are the problem, none of the folks talking about bans are saying shit about race relations.

none of these people give a fuck about what’s actually happening. they just know they can trick people into believing whatever the fuck they say because folks are angry and want terrible shit to stop happening.

the rich and the powerful will always have access to guns. they’ll have access to all kinds of guns. they will never be touched by these laws. even the white upper middle class will always have access to guns…

these laws aren’t what you think they are and they wont stop this.

until politicians admit whats actually fucking happening, and admit that white supremacy is playing a role in this, you’re not going to see shit happen no matter how much you ban. it’ll never touch them.

[ladyshio]

🐉🐗📱

Favorite AU

I haven't read many Furuba AUs honestly. So I have to say the Fruits Basket Chatroom as that is the most AU fic I've read really.

My favorite AU concept is an arranged marriage, enemies to lovers, angst, hurt/comfort epic.

I could see that being a Kyoru fic. Where kyo and Tohru are forced in a political arranged marriage. Tohru secretly resents Kyo because he was the one that commanded an army to the town where she lived and killed her mother, but hides her resentment. Kyo resents Tohru because of course he'd resent the person he is being forced to marry. They are polite to each other but cold to each other. Tohru makes friends in Kyo's family's kingdom, befriending Yuki and at one point wishing she was engaged to him instead of Kyo. Kagura still chases after Kyo and makes plots to get rid of Tohru but after Tohru saves her in a political accident she warms up to her. They even try to make a deal to try to get Tohru out of the marriage. As all of this is going on, kyo and Tohru are forced to get to know each other through various steps in the marriage process. As they go through these trials they slowly start to get to know their real selves. Tohru learns the truth that Kyo actually tried to stop the army from going out that day. Out of spite they gave him the credit but his initial opposition is why he was selected to be the sacraficial prince to marry the princess of another country.

Akito is the current king and is trying to conquer all of the land either through war or through cut throat politics. Tohru and Kyo's arranged marriage was just to let the guards down of her kingdom so they can eventually take over. Akito was secretly raised as a boy as their mother, Ren, would have been a disgraced queen for giving a birth to a female. Much to their dismay once the Akito's father died the thrown didn't go to the queen but their "son". Ren regrets not owning their disgrace and purposely tries to get in the way of Akito's political advances. Including meddling in Kyo and Tohru's arrangement. Shigure is Akito's advisors that accidently discovered their true gender a long time ago unbeknownst to Akito. Shigure just goes along with Akito's plans because they are interesting and enjoys teasing and giving them a hard time. They truly want to take Akito way from the palace so they can live together happily and alone. One thing stands in his way, Akito's secret lover Kureno. Kureno is one of the servants that have been assigned to take care of Akito from a young age. Dressing them, batheing them, following their every whim. He is one of the few people authorized to know Akito is really a woman along with Hatori who is the palaces best doctor (no surprise there). Because Akito has no child, all of their cousins are in line for the throne after them. (Kyo, Yuki, ayame, momiji, Rin, and Kisa)

Ayame is one of the kingdoms best diplomats. He is part of the reason Akito has been able to conquer so much land. Ayame is just utterly convincing and manages to get other countries to hand over their land before they even know what he is talking about. Ayame has no whim to be a ruler himself and enjoys his travels and loves sharing stories. Secretly (not so secretly) his lover is the head maid. There are a lot of rumors circulating about him, including that one. But because there are so many rumors about him no one really knows which ones are true. Not even their brother Yuki knows the truth. Yuki is known for being the princely prince of princes and is the one with the most favor of taking the throne after Akito. Yuki has trained everyday to do so, he feels like a robot that only knows how to be a political prince, and feels very unauthentic. Tohru, his rival's fiance, is the first he feels comfort showing his true self to (though the first time was completely by accident). He considers her his first true friend. When he isn't busy with princely duties or talking to Tohru, he can be found in the gardens. He enjoys their calming beauty and have effortlessly authentic they can be. Over the next few weeks he notices the quality of the garden has gone down. He secretly investigates (as he would never hear the end of it if he was the one that through a fit over some flowers) and find that recently new Gardner's were hired, Machi and Kakeru. Kakeru typically slacks, does things half assed and makes Machi do all the work. Kakeru has the ability to make the garden gorgeous (which is why he was hired in the first place) but his sister doesn't have much experience so the result ends up being subpar. Yuki is upset and tries to talk reason into them. Kakeru is forced to put more effort in the garden and it improves immensely, Yuki learns more about how to keep a garden and finds it immensely interesting and secretly helps in his down time. While helping he gets closer to Machi who is still not the greatest assistant to Kakeru but she never expected to get to where they are now. He was always expected to take over so she was expected to run the fiance aspect but getting hired to do the palace through her out of her comfort zone which is why she isn't so good at gardening. As they learn they begin to fall in love. Also Kakeru was hired because some royals officials drive past his yard which looks like a beautiful garden which he passionately takes care of for his sick wife, Komaki.

Haru is Yuki's attendant and bodyguard. He deeply cares for Yuki and has a good relationship with him but because he is hired to take care of him Yuki doesn't consider him a friend while Haru does. It doesn't bug Haru though. Haru does what he is supposed to. Haru is also secretly involved with the Princess Isuzu. They met while Haru was on the job and kept running into each other when they were younger. Isuzu has always been treated awfully by the King and wishes that someone would assasinate them. Since it doesn't look to be the case she starts undergoing secret training at night so she can assassinate him. This is where she began to notice Haru, he would always catch her as she was sneaking out but let her anyway. It was there little secret. She thought he was weird, especially for letting her break the rules. Haru always said it's because he was only hired to keep track of Yuki so what she does has nothing to do with his work. She ends up falling for him despite knowing that if they are found out he could possibly be executed (because of her status and his job). She began to contemplate if she wants to go through with assassinating Akito because once she won't be able to be with Haru anymore.

Momiji is a prince that was a child of a past political marriage. Because of that he was able to live pretty freely. He is immediately drawn to Tohru and always tries to make her smile. He decides that he wants to be the one to marry her and causes mass chaos in the palace. Momiji's actions is what make Tohru realize that she does have feelings for Kyo and she does want to marry him. Ultimately momiji is rejected, he decides that he is going to sneak away from the palace to reconnect with the family he never knew in the country of his mom's birthplace. (His mom passed while he was young, rumored to have been an planned assassination by the past king, it wasn't. It was suicide as she ostracized by those at the palace and missed her real family.)

KISA is the youngest princess. She is there and no one really pays attention to her so she is really quiet and spends a lot of time reading in the library. The librarian has a son her age that often helps out at the library (Hiro) and he falls in love with her. He figures out which books she is reading and tries to finish them before she does so they can discuss them together. He really doesn't care too much for reading but he loves her smile and how animated she is when she talks about books. Which is the only time she is really animated.

Ritsu is the training to take over as the head for royal fashion. BUT Ritsu is very clumsy and makes a lot of mistakes. Usually everything ends up okay tho. They went to school with Kagura, a daughter of one of the most prominent noble families, and they use her as a model for works. Kagura always uses this as an excuse to go to the palace to see Kyo.

Hatori was hired into the palace as being one of the most prominent doctors of their country. He used to have a wife (Kana) but she was executed when she found out (not through Hatori) that Akito was actually a woman). Because she is an outsider and not an authorized person her existence was a threat. Akito charged her with treason because she found out and she was executed. Hatori only knows that she was charged with treason, not that she found out about Akito. They are hurt that someone so close to him would betray him and their country like that. He closes his heart off until he meets his medical assistant (Mayu). His assistant is supposed to work and learn from him so she can take back his skills and knowledge and teach it to the schools. She ends up finding out about Akito as well, through Shigure as a ploy to get Akito removed from the thrown. Hatori manages to save Mayu from the same date as Kana as he pieces together what is really happening. Mayu is authorized to live but she is not able to return to life outside the palace.

And things play out further from there... Welp if someone wants to write that for me please do.

OTP

This is really hard.

My favorite relationship is Kyoko/Katsuya because of how much it emotionally destroys me.

Otherwise my OTP is Kyoru with RinHaru (cowbell) in close second

Retelling of favorite scene in emojis

🦋🙁🖼️👨‍👩‍👧🙂🙁😟😢😭😭😭😭💔💔

[proserpine-in-phases]

@nachttour tagged me in a writing question thing!

1) is there a story you’re holding off on writing for some reason?

uh yeah there’s like, several. some of them are better developed than other but a lot of the reason I’ve been holding off on writing them just comes down to feeling inadequate due to my own limited experience with relationships and feelings of complete inadequacy. it’s hard to write an epic romancu when I’m aromantic as fuck and have a hard time conceptualizing what those feelings might be like to experience, for example, or like, I want the story to be funny but I feel like I’m not actually a very funny person?

also I always feel like I need to do more research. I get stuck on the research phase about 85% of the time haha

2) what work of yours, if any, are you the most embarrassed about existing?

man I am embarrassed by MYSELF existing, so  idk probably all of it when you get right down to it

3) what order do you write in? front of book to back? chronological? favorite scenes first? something else?

it seems to vary a bit. sometimes I just power through start to finish, but sometimes I need to write the ending first to remind myself of what I’m shooting for. sometimes I just gotta write some random scenes in the middle before I forget what they are and have to figure out where they’ll go later.

considering the longest thing I’ve managed to finish comes in at about 12 k  I don’t know if I have enough data to really come up with a firm answer for this one though. from what I can tell, it really does seem like I start at the beginning and go for a bit, write the end, and try to connect the two with occasional random middle bits getting written out of order and a general feeling of “I’ll fix it in post” carrying me through

4) favorite character you’ve written

probably Samantha Traynor. she’s such a fucking nerd and I love her. it was surprisingly easy to write for her once I got started. at least I THINK I did a good job writing her, I have no actual idea haha

5) character you were most surprised to end up writing

I’ve written TWO mass effect fics featuring Samara as a main character and I have no idea how this happened or why because she’s about in the middle when it comes to my most to least favorite mass effect characters list

6) something you would go back and change in your writing that it’s too late/complicated to change now

there’s a couple of fics I wrote for fic exchanges that I kinda wish I could take back and turn into something else because I love the concept but feel guilty about idk, using as a springboard because the original is a gift, or something. it feels ehhhhhhhhh disingenuous to continue them when the gift is supposed to be a singular and self contained unit

for example, oh man I would love to take that vrisrezi space pirates au someplace, but I don’t know if I should because the fic itself is a gift, complete, and so forth. 

plus I hate the way I run out of steam about 4 chapters into everything. I would like to not run out of motivation please

7) when asked, are you embarrassed or enthusiastic to tell people that you write?

considering my output is so low I barely consider myself a writer at all tbh.

but yes, embarrassed. I hope to god the three people I know irl who follow me just like. never see those posts haha

8) favorite genre to write

space adventure! and lately? mysteries even though I have no FUCKING idea why or even how to write them, which is why I have at least three projects stalled out on me haha

9) what, if anything, do you do for inspiration?

I read a lot, mostly. sometimes I stare at a wall. or play minesweeper. 

also when I’m doing something fairly mindless sometimes my mind wanders and I hit something. 

oh and music. music is great

10) write in silence or with background noise? with people or alone?

I usually need music, mood music preferable, instrumental so the lyrics don’t distract me. generally I prefer to not be around people when I write, though a public setting is also fun to write in. I’m too distractable to actually get any done though, so I usually end up just looking like a tool with their notebook out if I try to write in a coffee shop or whatever tho, haha

11) what aspect of your writing do you think has most improved since you started writing?

I think writing fanfic has really helped me figure out what it means to write in character. also I think I’m starting to get better at balancing dialogue versus narration? at least a little bit

12) your weaknesses as an author

the inability to actually finish shit. 

unwillingness to approach emotions that make me feel uncomfortable. 

the fact that I often approach writing a character with the thought of what I would do in a situation rather than what the character would do (which is why writing fanfiction is helping me with that haha)

coming up with plots that lend themselves well to longer stuff

13) your strengths as an author

pretty good at dialogue

when it comes to my own shit, pretty good at coming up with interesting fantasy worlds (I think they’re interesting at least)

I’ve got a pretty firm grasp overall just the nuts and bolts of writing: I mean I tutored English in college for fuck’s sake I know how to write a grammatically correct run on sentence when I want to 

14) do you make playlists for your current wips?

not really

15) why did you start writing?

I wanted to know what happened next

16) are there any characters who haunt you?

not really? I mean, there are specific character TYPES that’ll get me every time, though, like the happy go lucky person who has to learn what pain is but still come out the other side a LOT worse for wear but not completely broken (think Tasslehoff Burrfoot, or perhaps less obscure Vash the Stampede) but I wouldn’t say they haunt me, per say

17) if you could give your fledgling author self any advice, what would it be?

don’t be afraid to be self indulgent. you’ll enjoy it more and who the fuck cares, anyway? people who’ll make fun of you for doing what you love are ass holes

18) were there any works you read that affected you so much that it influenced your writing style? what were they?

If I’m honest I can’t really say what influences my writing style, if I even have one. Mostly all I can do is list off my favorite authors because I’m pretty sure they all have something to do with it. 

so let’s just do that I guess.  when I was a teenager I tended to find a single author and just read through all their works before moving on, and these are the big ones that stand out:

Connie Willis, Anne McCaffrey, Steven Brust and Ursula K. Le Guin. Connie Willis for the humor she includes in almost all her writing, Anne McCaffrey because I STILL spend an inordinate amount of time thinking about Pern. She had a real skill for coming up with both great characters and great settings, even if what she did with them, and also her inability to keep continuity were less good. Steven Brust introduced me to the idea of relating to morally reprehensible characters at an alarmingly young age. Ursula K. Le Guin, I just love her. No idea if it’s actually done anything GOOD to my writing but she gives me something to aspire to.

I read just. a ridiculous amount of fantasy and science fiction as a kid, the genres as a whole without a doubt influence the type of shit I end up writing. also in seventh grade I mainlined dragonlance, just the whole damn thing

later in college I got really into Margaret Atwood. her focus on female characters and narrative just is really great.  

then I went through a depressive phase in my late 20s and just exclusively read Julia Quinn, Joanna Lindsey, Sabrina Jeffreys and Eloisa James, and that was IT. so I’m pretty sure my foray into the romance genre is what makes me honestly prefer povs limited to two or three characters  hey, reading romance novels also lead me to the realization that I’m aromantic so \o/ I guess

19) when it comes to more complicated narratives, how do you keep track of outlines, characters, development, timeline, ect.?

I outline and then give up lol

20) do you write in long sit-down sessions or in little spurts?

little spurts until something grabs me and makes me marathon. usually that’s a deadline, but sometimes it’s also inspiration 

21) what do you think when you read over your older work?

mostly just holy shit I can’t believe I wrote this! sometimes that’s bad, sometimes it’s good. I can’t really tell if I’m good at divorcing myself from my writing enough to give me perspective on it, to tell the truth, because for a good lot of it, I still think it’s pretty good so ???

22) are there any subjects that make you uncomfortable to write?

it’s hard for me to let a character be embarrassed by the dumb shit they do. I don’t want them to do dumb shit because of it, which makes it hard for the character to have shit to grow and learn from.

23) any obscure life experiences that you feel have helped your writing?

I’m pretty sure my own issues with having and experiencing some emotions makes its way into the stuff I choose to write about, especially when it comes to the original stuff (I have. at LEAST three different plot outlines that involve characters literally losing the ability to experience emotions and having to find a way to heal or gain it back haha)  

also the fic I wrote about the box ghost is literally just about what it’s like to work in a factory haha

24) have you ever become an expert on something you previously knew nothing about, in order to better a scene or a story?

listen. 

yes.

I fucking. LOVE. research. 

honestly this is the stage where I most often get lost in the weeds, distracted by my own need to know more

25) copy/paste a few sentences or a short paragraph that you’re particularly proud of

“He was not the knight Casey taught him to be, but he was close enough for government work“ remains the single best pun I’ve ever written

tagging: @anthropwashere @inktail @manicpixiesdreamdragon if you guys are up for it!

[wannasoftimagine]

imagine being daehwi’s friend on p101 s3

a trainee after his own heart :’)

(( AS REQUESTED! // i love ur writing !! can i get a daehwi scenario where you guys are best friends bc you're also a trainee from brand new music and you participate in pd101 s3 and come in 3rd place like him,, and he confesses to you afterwards bc he's so proud of you ?? as fluffy as possible pls and thank u have a great day/night 💓 ))

u and daehwi have known each other ever since u became a trainee at bnm

altho u were a little intimidated at first, he was always ready to approach u with friendly tips and a smile, so it was only a matter of time before u became best friends

hes the type of friend to hype u up whenever u step on stage

(ure p sure one time he came to a performance w a sign tht said u were the “inventor of rap” lol)

u can both b super extra when ure supporting each other tbh

to u guys, theres nothing too grand or too extreme to express how proud u are of each other

of course when u decide to enter produce 101 for the 3rd season, hes super excited for u

(hes also super nervous but he doesnt want u to know tht)

he gives u constant tips and advice, always guiding u

“be careful of their editing,, evil mnet is no joke”

daehwi sends u so much support tht even when u cant contact each other once the filming starts, u know he’s cheering u on

and listen. the show is STRESSFUL

daehwi already knew how hard it could be so he kinda didnt want u to go on it

but he also wanted u to show off how talented u were?? what a struggle

ur initial performance was with a couple labelmates, some girls u were close with but now super comfortable with

u did a song tht daehwi helped produce bc hes a king of music and u adore everything he makes

anyways

ure proud to say tht u gave it all, and u end up with a b ranking

its not as good as daehwi, but ure still rlly proud of urself

as the days go on, things only get more and more stressful

bc of how well so many of the s2 boys did, this season everything is 1000x as intense bc they want to make sure tht only the most talented people move on

as hard as it is, u step up to the challenge, practicing as much as u can whenever u can

still, sometimes ull see other ppl struggling

even tho theyre not from the same company as u, u have the kind of heart tht makes u want to try and help them even if just a little

at first it was a little awkward for u to offer advice to the other trainees, but with everyone cramped and tired together, its hard not to start to bond

soon enough, word spreads abt how ure one of the sweetest and hardworking trainees in the competition, and it sends a huge boost in ur popularity

it helps tht ure cute as heck and a lot of fans noticed how brightly ur smile was even before the first ep aired

altho ure not super close with any one person in particular, a lot of the girls there are super friendly so its easy for u to drift around to hang out with different groups

mnet seems to love u bc when u watch some episode clips, they show how ure always flitting around and seem like a v popular trainee

plus theyve decided to highlight u as one of the rising stars of the show, editing clips to show off the amount of time u practice and improve, even from ur already-amazing initial performance

ure super lucky and u dont forget it

but ure still pretty sure tht all of daehwis advice from beforehand helped u a lot

u dont get a lot of time to think abt him tho, just bc everything moves so fast in the competition

still, sometimes when ure trying to rest after another long day of practice, u cant help but reminisce on some of ur more playful and relaxed memories with daehwi

somehow, word didnt really get out abt how close u two were until midway thru the season

it wasnt like u were intentionally keeping it a secret, but it didnt rlly come up for awhile

not when u were all busy just trying to get some airtime and become a better idol

anyways

when word gets out, all of the other girls are So Jealous

luckily for u everyones really sweet and only tease u abt it instead of being jerks

still, now a lot of them are asking u for his number

tbh although u and daehwi had never talked abt it, u dont remember him saying tht he ever liked anyone

and honestly, u didnt rlly think abt him dating someone until girls were coming up to u left and right, asking what he was like

with time, everyone calms down a little bit, but ure left trying to focus on practice instead of why the thought of him dating someone else bothers u so much

(its hard bc u know exactly why ure upset, but u dont know what ure going to do abt it)

mOVING ON

u rlly cant talk to daehwi often, but there are some occasions where the p101 staff let u make a phone call

if ure not calling ur family, u always use it to call him

u use the limited time to catch up, and he always showers u in support and compliments, telling u how hes watching every ep when it airs and is cheering u on

even tho u cant see him, u can imagine the way he smiles as he says it, and its enough to make u smile as well

as the days and performances move on u get closer and closer to the final stage

u havent always been at the top of the rankings, but uve still been doing pretty well esp recently w all of the positive attention tht uve been getting

u make it to the finale, and u cant help but hold ur breath the entire time

in this mass of people in the audience, its impossible to make out anyones faces, so u cant recognize if anyone came to support u

u cant help but hope tht somehow daehwi made it, but u know hes been so busy with his own practicing tht he probably doesnt have time

theres a section of past p101 winners somewhere else, but its even further away and harder to see with all of the bright lights

the next couple of hours go by both achingly slow and annoyingly fast

as the names slowly start to get called, u watch with a heavy heart as more and more people are cheered their way on to safety

honestly ure still kinda surprised tht u made it this far, since u started out only hoping to gain experience and a vague fanbase with the show

but now tht ure here, u cant help but hope tht u make it to the end

despite everything u find urself cheering on the other girls whenever theyre announced as a finalist

everyones crying and ure no better tbh

its getting to the top, just before they decide to go back and announce the final member of the group, and ur ranking of 10 last week suddenly seems far too low, esp as 3rd place is about to be announced

then out of nowhere, ur name is called

ur hands are shaking and u keep looking around bc is this rlly happening?? but everyones screaming and hugging u and ure like ??????????

u cant even string together proper thoughts at this point

somehow u make it to the other stage where one of the staff puts a microphone in ur hands and the cameras are all aimed towards u

honestly half the things u say are just random words of gratitude or names tht u can never forget

ur busy telling ur parents, rhymer, all the other girls, ur fans, abt how much u love them, tht for a second somehow u almost forget abt daehwi

thts when ur gaze flickers to a screen in the stadium where the camera is focused on daehwi cheering and tearing up from his spot somewhere w some of the other p101 boys

of course u have to end it with a “lee daehwi!!! i love u too!!!!!!!” bc even if u know most ppl will take it platonically, ure not sure if he’ll see it the same way

(u dont even know if u want him to or not)

u say one last thank u before ure practically skipping over to ur seat and u cant help but think tht ure SO HIGH UP

still, now tht u know where daehwi is, even tho u cant make out his face, u feel ur heart stutter knowing that he’s there cheering for u

the rest of the night goes by in a blur honestly

as soon as ure all let backstage to meet up w ur family/friends, u find urself being tackled by a combination of familiar faces

daehwi is laughing into ur side, arm slung around ur shoulder, as ur parents try to congratulate u thru their tears, and uve never felt happier

after an embarrassingly long time of hugging and crying, daehwi manages to pull u to a slightly less crowded and loud area

n hes like “listen,, y/n,,,, u know im rlly proud of u too right?? like i love u a lot”

and ure not even thinking abt what u said in ur speech, just nodding along happily bc above all else, daehwi is still ur best friend

but he looks at u and he cant rlly stop smiling either, but he grabs u by the shoulders to say “no, i rlly love u a lot”

so ure like “okay??? and??????”

and he keeps staring at u with this stupid grin on his face and then it hits u and ure like “oh. oH. OH!!!!!!”

so ure both just smiling at each other like idiots n ure like “i think i love u too??”

at tht he has this mock-offended face like “u THINK”

but ure both so so happy teasing each other and feeling like ure both on top of the world

tbh u spend so long standing there and giggling tht ur parents eventually drag u away from ur private spot bc “u cant stand there grinning forever” and “ur bf isnt the only one whos proud of u!!!”

ure both embarrassed but its impossible for either of u to wipe the smiles off of ur faces

u all spend the rest of the day celebrating and enjoying each others company and the company of the rest of ur family/friends, and u cant help but think tht this is one of the best moments of ur life

[auroral-melody]

Peanut butter, birthday cake, chocolate, & cookie dough for the ice cream asks!

heck thank u so much for the ask!!!!!

[send me an ice cream!]

peanut butter: favorite academic subject?

math, hands down!! most sciences take my fancy too - i look forward to further studying in physics and astronomy :D

mathematics is just something i’ve always adored. it’s just so cool, man, and there’s always a right answer. that’s how my mind works.

birthday cake: favorite books?

good omens, obviously. it’s just so funny and i just love the dynamic of all the characters and it’s just so creative and good!!!!!!!! it’s a book i carry everywhere and own 6 copies of. i’ve convinced abt 15 people to read it. it’s very gay and actually imo a really positive message? like even if ur useless you can still save the world and be great. takes place in 1989, mostly, and it got me into queen. it’s very good. misc lines, cant think of all my favs rn tho there’s so many:

“the road to hell is paved with frozen telephone salesmen”

“well, we seem to have survived. just imagine how badly it might have gone if we’d been at all competent!”

“gayer than a tree full of monkeys on nitrous oxide”

crowley raised the green plastic plant mister, and sloshed it around threateningly. “go away,” he said.

the fact that the 6000 y/o demon listens exclusively to queen

other than that, i will always adore the stainless steel rat series. if you haven’t read it, it’s a sci-fi about a mass criminal and, later (in an enemies-to-lovers fashion), his partner-in-crime wife, set in the year ~34,573. it’s ICONIC.

“picking this lock was so easy i could do it with one arm behind with my back, with my left hand, standing on one foot with my eyes closed. so i did.”

“chased, exhausted, hurt, i collapsed in the grass. the only thing that could have made this worse was if it started to rain.it started to rain.”

or of course the bit where he’s trying to get his getaway car to work but the car’s siri equivalent is like “fasten your seatbelt please :)” and he’s like BUDDY IM GOING TO DIE “please take off the parking brake! :)”

anyway 10/10 would recommend both g/o and the stainless steel rat.

also, i will say while it’s not exactly a book i’d reread entirely over again, neverwhere has a really amazing nb character that i adore, who is complex and fascinating.

chocolate: when was your first kiss?

It was when I was leaving my (then, newly) gf’s house. Honestly very pure and we both thought about it for hours.

cookie dough: do you play any instruments?

oh hell yeah!!! i have a pretty good ability to pick up instruments fairly fast, but my ability to play them casually ranges a lot

guitar (i only know a few chords)

bagpipe chanter (not the full bagpipe just the pipe bit. i can play a few things. i need practice.)

harp (i need some practice but i’m pretty proficient. probably like 4-5 years since i first picked it up,)

viola (i can also play violin, since that’s what i started with, but i only own a viola. i’ve played it for something like 6 years now)

piano (i’ve been halfheartedly learning piano [teaching myself after i learned the basics] for as long as i can remember. now that im practicing more tho, i’ve been improving so much lately, and rn i’m learning to play bohemian rhapsody!)

[hvmanmachine-archive-blog]

~Happy End~

First thing first, as we all know this blog is canon divergent, while I try to make it seem like “yes he might have been this or that way when younger” there are also a lot of changes because of his younger age. In the general Fallout timeline AND in his personality etc. So I do not think any of this would work with a 60 Year old dying Shaun. And if you see this in the Fallout tag or anything pls move on and do not reblog *gunfingers*

How to get a canon divergent happy ending with the Institute

First thing first: This path is only open to a SoSu that mainly works with the Minutemen. This would be determined by who you make the most radiant or general quests for. So if you made a lot for the Brotherhood or for the Railroad... you either are locked out of this ending or you can grind Minutemen quests etc to end up with more for them than the others

(He might comment on you having had a change of heart on your travels though)

Next is you need to get on Shaun’s good side. There are many ways of doing that:

Loves:

Doing Institute quests (duh, but this will lead to the normal ending/quests so maybe wait on those))

Praising things about the Institute (saying “___ is a great invention” counts, you don’t need to like everything the Institute does, but don’t mention that too early)

Praising him

Going through the Silver Shroud Quest In Character (he is a nerd with a thing for old world heroes)

Retaking the Castle

Rebuilding/decorating his room in Sanctuary (maybe cause I do that. First I build a perfect room for a toddler, then I change it to a room for a kid with lots of cool toys.)

Likes:

If you give him/the Institute technical documents instead of the BoS

doing quests for the Minutemen

In general doing things that restore his hope into the people on the surface

giving him comics >_>

talk to him, treat him like your son and not like an enemy

after a certain affinity is reached: make suggestions to improve the Institute. ONLY on logical ideas. If he feels like it’s only “stop being a meanie :c “ he’ll just =I 

Doing quests for Valentine

Dislikes:

being pitied

talking about the Institute badly

calling him/the institute a monster

trying to change him too early on

Using chems around him

running around naked in the Institute (or in general)

doing things that could worsen the view of the Institute even more

Hates:

Doing Railroad quests beside trying to get their help or for a later quest (I’ll explain later)

Doing Brotherhood Quests

Siding with the Raiders

Saying he is not your son

There will be affinity conversations but they will not inform you about how he feels about you in a direct way.

In the beginning, it is [Father liked/loved that]. That is the neutral or negative relationship. At one point it will change into [Shaun liked/loved that]. From here on you can try to make suggestions about improvement for the Institute. As long as it is based on logic and not only feelings. (Most morally better decisions would actually HELP the Institute, so wrap them into logical arguments)

This can already lead to him treating Synths better and start looking into other options.

You know you reached high affinity when he comes to you asking for your opinions. Anyone played Mass Effect? Edi asks Shepherd about how she should reprogram herself to deal with certain things, you can make her more human or less. It’s the same here, give him certain arguments and answers and he will move away from the “programming” of the Institute and change accordingly.

If you did everything right he’ll ask for a bit of time and that you maybe do surface stuff for a while. You won’t be able to enter the Institute for a while, one month actually.

Gen1 and Gen 2 Synths seem to disappear slowly and you receive a message that you can return now.

There is kind of a confused atmosphere when you return. There seem to be some who are really unhappy and some that seem to actually be in a better mood than before.

The Synth creation laboratory is under construction and closed down for the time being. (only the Gen3 one tho). Ayo is in a really bad mood, etc.

Shaun decided to actually try and give humans another chance, to try to see Synths more as people etc. But this isn’t the end of the Quest line.

He WILL ask you to still get the reactor plans and to get scientists join the Institute. (He even might reinvite Virgil, not for the sake of the FEV program, but the opposite IF he was healed). You just need to trust him.

Next is he will ask you to “destroy” the Railroad. And he might leave the death of everyone an option. But he’ll actually ask you to make the Railroad stop doing what they are doing, and instead rather help Synths being accepted in society... and tell him where the Synths they mindwiped are. He promises he’ll not harm them but they are in need of certain medical care at least once in a while AND should know what they are. Most likely you need to make quests for the Railroad to gain their trust, but only do those that are not about Synth “stealing”. If you can get Desdemona to change her ways and give the Institute or probably rather YOU a chance you succeed this quest. Shaun will not betray his promise, not hurt anyone but still retrieve Synths. Who when they see the whole picture are allowed to make their own choices now. 

So there is no need for the Battle of Bunker Hill or go much differently. (There might be Synths who don’t believe the changed ways so there still might be force needed. The Institute won’t go from Zero to 100 all at once.)

You are already a Brotherhood enemy at this point, most likely. And Shaun WILL ask you to take the Brotherhood down or.. make them harmless. You can choose to somehow evacuate the blimp before destroying it, and somehow destroying their weapons and storage etc. So there are less dead, but the Brotherhood is really weakened. (There might also be the option, if a Maxson were up to it, to change the Brotherhood to at least leave Synths/the Institute alone from now, but I feel that’s near impossible ID )

In theory, you can always say no to that BUT, that will lead to the Institute staying under the surface, create paradise there while the surface can rot in their opinion. And not produce Synths anymore but besides that... fuck the surfacers. 

The last quest is about you needing to save Shaun from those in the Institute that hate the sudden changes and consider the change as him growing weak. There might even be some Synths that were programmed to go against Shaun etc so battle ensues. You save him and he asks you to be the voice and face of the Institute. To use your settlements to help to make research on crops etc and in general to spread the information that they have changed etc. This would be the After Game quests etc.

The New Institute - Science is for the People

They’ll still be secluded and only share a few of their inventions etc, because they don’t trust the surface entirely yet.

They will keep producing Synth Gen1 and Gen 2 and not consider them people. You will not change their mind on that. They are the Institute’s defense, without them you just have lots of squishy nerds with lots of enemies... 

They’ll treat Gen3 better, but it won’t be perfect instantly, Shaun will probably always have a tendency to treat them like children, but they’ll get a chance how they live, and if they want they can help improving themselves with updates. Which too is a choice.

If the Brotherhood was destroyed they’ll work on helping the surface heal, with more power they might even be able to teleport further and learn how to copy the clean Water of Washington etc

Those Synths that live in hiding might either stay there or have the option to get their face changed and become their own person. (It might traumatize the Warwick family if they learn that their father/husband only changed because he was replaced etc)

Shaun will ask the Sole Survivor what name they'd give a second son. He will rename Synth!Shaun into that, change himself into “Brother” and the SoSu to mother/father, but only if they want to. If the Institute keeps testing and researching how to improve Synths they might allow him to age etc.

If you helped Virgil heal they might try to find a way to change all Supermutants back, most likely would still be violent etc but much less dangerous and easier to kill and get rid off.

Bees, Synth Bees.

Not everything is perfect yet, not inside the Institute, not with other factions, but it’s a good start.

NOTHING of this would work with a dying old Shaun because he’d be too old. bitter and hopeless. But even old Shaun tells you to lead the Institute how you want so these changes might happen after his death anyway.

There are also lots of places where one could fuck up. Like too early doing too many quests for the Brotherhood or Railroad, or even too many for the Institute since it will lock you into the normal ending.

[mmjjbbaannkkss]

2020 March 8-14 Dod yn ôl at fy nghoed.

While the covid-19 is odd, it doesn’t scare me, there’s even a possibility that training until your immune system is low, for four years, and being around many viroids, that just taking a rest week, and eating the oranges nobody is buying, will be enough. Long post. I’m going to go to the gym to see if it’s open in a few days from now, but generally speaking, it’s time for a break. 

Yesterday, two days ago, I somehow jammed my outer wrist, and it’s an injury that can cause serious af problems later on; the ball of my left foot keeps getting cramps, after getting new shoes the ankle and perhaps posture improved, but it’s another worry; and my back, obliques, traps, all in knots, so the next phase of training is just walking and stretching and reading books outside. In the fresh air, in the park, laying down in the forest and inheriting what it has to offer. Playing outdoors builds immunity, the microbes and extremophiles we share with the planet will steer our evolution, this might just be an upgrade to the next immunity level on the way to Mars, and you can get the vaccine at PHARMACY when it’s ready. If you’re not already healthy. 

It was sad to see people with masks that don’t work buying things they don’t want, which is why I park across the pond at the supermarket Christmas eve and laff at them, today went to buy eggs, and panic buying had cans and tp empty, even tho like i keep telling the lefties, capitalism doesn’t stop just because the demand goes up, and they keep panicking anyway, site to store, distribution centers to home, wait in line, etc. All you’re doing is driving the price up.on yourself. I literally have libertarian prepper amounts of food, so this is rather Sodom and Gomorrah territory, and why I study the logics, the stoics, and the zenists. I do have to worry about mom’s cats, but again, capitalism isn’t stopping, i’d bet manufacturers are popping corks before the next quarter starts. 

Isometrics, outdoor cardio if you’re urban, calisthenics, are perfect options if you’re still aversive. I’m going to finally do my taijiquan, walk in the mornings, stretch outside, read books, actually enjoy my tea, and meditate. Food reduction is mandatory when not exercising, your calorie intake/expenditure, caloric deficit measures. I’m going into a cut, and so you don’t have to, meditate for hours on end. Eat small, meditate on my emotions and senses, controlling my metabolism with my mind, confronting how perceptions and emotions control me and resolving my fears of social anxiety, especially now. I’ll be sure to post my cutting diets and my carb-less fever dreams of the chocolate cake from Portal 2.

My ancestors lived on muddy rivers in homes dug right into the earth, this virus isn’t exactly neighboring raiders or attackers after our knee-high mud paradise. Wuhan closed it’s last makeshift hospitals. Be logical, don’t get emotional, or get emotional in a preworkout-fuled rampage IG story and fight locals for the crown of TP mountain. 

No I don’t want you to transmit, yes I want you, to look up the symptoms, and compare them to other viroid symptoms, yes you should look at the physicality of those getting it, and those who aren’t. Some of you may need perspective before causing fear. It’s been suggested to practice “social distancing” and my inner child is ROFL at the idea that I’m not already. I’ve been doing the Vulcan salute for 20 years, and now everybody tryna jack my steeze. I’m taking a week off, or more idk what the gym plans to do, and it only took a global crisis to trigger it. It’ll also allow time to see if I present any symptoms while not spreading disease. Practice hygiene and some civility will follow. LLAP

Celebrations Held at Wuhan’s Makeshift Hospitals After City Closes Them Down https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TJLC1WInVzQ 

PS I’m going to post regular updates proving i’m not sick, not disproving that I’m not freaking out right before the zombie apocalypse, but just to post and inform to entertain your time, if i can figure out how to talk to the camera again, it always feels rehearsed so be kind.

>workouts/notes

Week 6 (mixed: heavy neg & fst pos)

#31 Heavy Push  

Treadmill 5 > Shldr Press *6/1030507090 > Lat Raise *6/10*4,15? > Hoist *6/35*3,50*3 > Chest press *6/507090110130150170- > Dips *8/6/666/66 > Pec Deck *8/100*3,115130145160175- > Smith Bench *6/100*3,150-1 > Tricep Machine *8/b mñn v e/prolly, 304560 > Pullover Press *8/50506060 > Twist *8/506070 > Treadmill 12, stairs 25-, 5

Shldrs wanted 20 more nice place tho, lat raise cld better but not sure if by cable or db; hoist idk if improved but feels better, where started doing double sets bc pwo, chest press finish low glycemic, dips above avg doubled ended bricked up biceps, smith bench should've pumped bricked hundo instead of 150, was a challenging final rep; pec deck finally in range reps worth repeating, quizás the pwo, a little warm; triceps would've been better at cables, pullover PR if I did them right; still weak left obliques, maybe I'll take up rock golf at the lake; 

Singularity's entire new album >>>>> https://youtu.be/eyirbcaGbC8 

A few days without legumes feels fine; we are the masses that can't park straight until mid May; 

½ L, 4 eggs, c rice; ½ L, sammich; veggie straws, gym, pwo ½ L, ½ L lite, ½ L water, done; veggie straws; 

#32 Lite Pull  

Treadmill 15 > Palms-In pulldown *7/7085100*3120*2 > DB 1-Arm Row *7/15202530355065 > Wide Lat pulldown *7/30*2,50*5 > Pulldown/over *7/30*3; > Shrug *7/60*3,100*3,150? > Row *7/100*7 > Delt Deck *7/15202530354250 > Preacher Curl *7/5050656580809595105105- > Straight Bar Curl *7/20303030404040- > 1-arm cable curl *7/15*3,20*3,25- > Treadmill 5

Chaz Cardigan, Not Okay

Defrosting windows. ½ L 30g whey; 4 eggs, 2 potato toast, ½ L+; 4 eggs, 2 potato toast; gym, 1 L pwo, veggie straws; c rice, 4 eggs; ½ c cottage cheese, mandarin, 2 bread, spinach artichoke dip, cheese, ½ L 30g whey;

#33 Heavy Legs 

Treadmill   15 > Mule *6/5050707090110130 > Horizon Press *6/1030507090110130150170190210- > Deadlift supine curl *6/60*5- > Hack Squat *6/x > Leg Ext *6/1030507090-1 > Leg Curl *8/305070 > Heel Raise *8/30507090110 > Side Bends *8/(2)152535506580100? > Chair Crunch *8/7590105120135 > Press crunch *8/ > Stairs 25, treadmill 5/2;

Bad session, mule stress, horizon press possible PR, deadlift/curl better, skipped hacks b/c possibly last week didn’t mend before retrain window //drove to officeplace for errand across shopping centers 5 min// leg ext better form maybe better reps, leg curl better depth, heel raise worse/cold, side bends PR get some, chair crunch improve better form, would like to do slower crunches, muscle confusion, almost press crunch, but was there way too long, circa packed start, weird wrist…

My right wrist or forearm has become stiff, inflexible at first, might have slept right palm left face and hyperextended it, idk so much, 

Everyone washing their hands, wiping down equipment, not jumping in front of me, brodin wut 

Svartport, Orbit Culture; After gym, grocery store, home, had crockpot chicken mediteraneano, ½ cup rice, ¼ L 15g whey, fell asleep; woke, ate a piece of cheese and another ¼ L, watched a show, back to sleep; however, none-not-theless, i’d only had breakfast and ½ L liquids before gymming, by the time i got home i was past hangry and into cold; 

C rice, ¼ lb gr beef, ½ L 30g whey; ¼ L 20g whey, $1 cashews, gym, 1 L +pwo, 1L electrolytes; chicken mediterraneo, rice; muffin and milk, slice of cheese; 

#34 Lite Push  c/lb/x >> FST 

Treadmill warmup > Shoulder Press *7/10303005507070 > Bb Raise *7/20*7 > Plate Lat Raise *7/10*7 > Incl BB Bench *7/60*7 > Chest press *7/50*3,70*3,90*3,110*3 > Crossover *7/20*7,25*7 > Pec Deck *7/100*7 > Pullover *7/x > Tri-bar tricep *7/15153030454560607575 > Twist *7/507090/x > Stairmill 25, treadmill 5/2

C rice, 4 eggs, ½ L 30g whey; 2 mandarins, ¼ L creatine/aminos, 1L pwo lite, 2 mandarins, ¼ L creatine, done; 1 country biscuit, ½ cup cottage cheese; ¾ med chicken bacon ranch pizza; piece of cheese

#35 Slow Pull   > Treadmill warm-up 15 > Lat Pulldown *6/305070 > Low Row *6/100*5 > High Row *6/35506580100- > Chin Up Palms In *6/666- > Facepull *6/202530355065 > Shrug *8/100*3,150*2- > EZ Curl *8/203030505050 > Cbl Curl 1-Arm *8/15152020 > Preacher 1-Arm *8/15153030454560-60-1 > Twist *8/ > Stairs 25, treadmill 5/2

Cup of rice, 4 eggs, 1/2L 30g whey; fries and 2 cups coffee; Angus burger; pause, 

#36 FST Legs > /halt