#anyway yeah if you wanna like. tell me where I'm wrong that'd be great

[monty-glasses-roxy]

Okay so that new Mimic theory... Bare with me, I'm just trying to connect some dots here. Mostly under a readmore.

So last night I was reading the Mimic antifandom Wiki and discovered that it was sealed in the Pizza Place below the Plex... before it was later installed in the plex as the Storyteller. With no mention of them ever retrieving the Mimic and with the Pizza Place still being in ruins, I'll assume they never went back down there after it was sealed.

So what does this mean? It means there's two of these fuckers. How is this possible? WELL

Before the Mimic was sealed, there was entire line of Mimic animatronics built using the same program. With the Mimic that has already learned violence and murder as the base, these behaviours start to come back. I believe it's also implied that at least one of the Mimics saw the original child murders at this time too, and thus, added those behaviours to it's arsenal. It does not have the ability to understand what it's doing. It's an AI programmed to mimic, not understand, and so, it has been taking in all the behaviours of those around it, and using those same behaviours itself. This is where we get that copy of the Mimic some bright spark turned into the Storyteller AI, and it's also where we get our key differences.

The Mimic in the basement kills with all the behaviours we've seen it use before. Hiding in suits, luring people around, and killing them, later learning to remove the limbs and heads of its victims. The Storyteller does not have that limb removing behaviour. Those it kills remains intact. So I can confidently say that if I'm right and there are two Mimics, then the one in the basement removes limbs and the one that was the Storyteller doesn't, thereby making them two separate entities. We know they're from the same base program as both of them still exhibit behaviours learnt when they were still entertaining that small child before it learned violence. Basement Mimic still hides in suits and hangs said suits back up when not in use. The Storyteller creates (or steals? Unsure on that one) a suit based on the white tiger plushie that the little boy loved and it originally had a makeshift copy of. The difference is, one is sealed, and the other isn't.

Now what does this have to do Ruin? Well, when the Storyteller was installed, it was connected to every single aspect of the Pizzaplex, including the animatronics. It's job was to create new interactions and scenarios for games and the animatronics themselves, and after installation, each animatronic started exhibiting behaviours of a small child. Each of them gained different behaviours that the Mimic has previously learned over the years and each of them are thus, acting strangely because of it. It's fully integrated into the system, which is why when the Storyteller was shut down, things didn't go back to normal. It's still a part of the system. It's still watching and learning, still influencing everything.

And this is where the new VANNI security system comes in. Vanny (Vanessa under Glitchtrap's control) made it herself, hence the name. Why? Because she needed to get back down to the Pizza Place below the Plex in order to start the whole Burntrap process. She needs to go down there so Glitchy can live his immortal dreams out. But she can't.

When Fazbear Entertainment sealed away the original Mimic in the Pizza Place and discovered that a group of teens had gone in there and never come out, they installed a new security system called the MXES. There were a few nodes around the place, nothing huge. They were mostly in Bonnie Bowl, possibly with Bonnie as a node himself (possible murder motive here which is why I'm saying it. Not important right now though.) and it did the job. You couldn't just wander down to the Pizza Place now, you had to know what you were doing. Vanny needed to get down there and so, the VANNI unit was built as a counter to it, with the help of Glitchtrap in the system.

Now, to access and be able to see these nodes and be able to actually you know. Interfere with animatronics and stuff, the VANNI unit needed to be connected to the main network. This allowed her to have much more control over the animatronic's perception of her, and allowed her to better interact with the nodes under the guise of maintenance. It also explains why there's a Helpi AI. Every single piece of digital tech that is used to guide and support staff and guests alike in a Fazbear Entertainment establishment has a Helpi AI. By integrating the Helpi AI, Vanny was giving herself a level of protection (such as signal jammers) and allowing herself to go under the radar as just another part of the maintenance system for the Plex. The Helpi AI is in everything, it's connection is almost as expansive as the main security itself, no one would notice an extra string of inputs from it. Not to mention it's just helpful in general to have a cool AI that she can use as an access point to the data in the system without having to search for it herself. He's a handy little guy

You may have already noticed where I'm going with this. If the VANNI security system is combined with the main network that the Mimic is a part of, that means the Mimic is now in the VANNI system. This means the Mimic can now copy the behaviours of Vanessa, Vanny, anyone they interact with, Glitchtrap and of course when Cassie gets there, the other Mimic.

This has created a feedback loop. The digital Mimic copies the underground Mimic and then the underground Mimic copies the digital one. They sound so similar because they're literally bouncing the same data back and forth, over and over again. The difference is, one Mimic is copying from the Helpi AI as well, while the other one can't because it's not a part of the network. When the Black Rabbit is signal jammed and disappears? The digital Mimic says that they took care of it, like the Helpi AI, but follows up with 'It wont bother you anymore...' which feels more like someone else. The underground Mimic then interjects as Gregory and says they boosted the Helpi jammer and the digital one doesn't respond.

You may be wondering how the digital Mimic and the underground Mimic can possibly be connected. Well that's where Vanny comes in. The Mimic is said to be sealed in the Pizza Place. There's no mention of where, presumably the main Pizza Place itself. When Vanny breaks security and goes down there, Glitchtrap is transferred into a battery dead Mimic and charged back up. Glitchtrap is connected to the VANNI mask and that data is getting fed straight into the Mimic. It's sort of a one way system. The only source of information coming and going is via Glitchtrap and the VANNI mask. When Glitchtrap is dealt with by Gregory, the data remains, and the Mimic survives the fire. Tangle (the Blob) and the fire handle Glitchtrap, leaving just the Mimic program behind, with that now pretty much one way connection to the VANNI mask.

So how does it get sealed in that room? Well, the team that originally sealed the guy away (maybe even Vanessa? I'm not entirely sure since I still don't know where the idea she and Gregory did it originates from at all) seal it away again but a little bit more securely. Seeing as how the security was so easily dealt with, they introduced more security nodes around the Plex whilst they were clearing up. They move Roxy off of the main network and put her onto the MXES network, turning her into a security node. It made sense. She was one of their most functional animatronics still standing and she mostly stayed in her own attraction, making her the perfect guard dog to this thing. I was thinking that cleanup could be abandoned after a few more Mimic incidents and had to be sealed away more thoroughly this time, leading to the increase in nodes and the transfer of Roxy onto the MXES network. They unknowingly free her from the digital Mimic's control and leave her be. She was also probably the most convenient of the remaining robots to update given Monty is feral now I guess and Chica is an actual mess and a half, with Sunny and Moon having their whole thing going on too. She's the perfect candidate!

Now the final part of this is the Black Rabbit. It's not the MXES. It's the digital Mimic. It's copied Glitchtrap's data of affecting the real word through the mask, stalking victims and killing kids, as well as getting animatronics to lure and attack for them. That's not a distress call it's sending to the others. That's a call for murder. But then, why is it trying to help Cassie get down to the other Mimic? It's like I said. It's mimicking behaviours. Basement Mimic is trying to help and lure Cassie under the Raceway. Helpie AI is trying to help Cassie with nodes and what not. Glitchtrap and Vanny killed kids through stalking and mind games and this is a child in the mask.

Does it fit cleanly? Uh... probably not. Still got problems here and there. Is there a shit ton of evidence to back it up? Some! Not a shed load, but some! Is it kind of unsastisfying? Yeah kinda.

But it's what I've got at the moment. If you made it this far, I'd love to hear what people think about this. Maybe we can come to a better conclusion than this

[sissylittlefeather]

Double fic day...

It Feels So Right (how can it be wrong?): Part 2

A/N: This mini series is SO FUN. Just a reminder this is the one where ghost!Elvis possesses Austin during the filming of Elvis (2022). If you need to get caught up, read Part 1 here. Enjoy this second installment!

Warnings: 18+ minors DNI, kissing, cussing, fingering, oral sex (f receiving), p in v penetrative sex, unprotected sex

Word count: ~2.5k

Elvis is nervous about how Austin will react when he finds out he used his body to go out with you, but what's done is done. And he has every intention of begging to let it happen again.

******

The next day at work, you deliver your coffees like you always do.

Elvis hasn't found a way to tell Austin what happened. Austin can tell something is going on, but he assumes it's just some weird ghost business and doesn't pry into why Elvis is acting strange.

But when you walk up to Austin, Elvis tries to catch his attention.

"Austin. Man, I-"

"Hey!" He looks at you and then looks around to make sure you're talking to him.

"Hi..."

"I brought you a coffee. You said you like two creams and two sugars, right?" Elvis puts his face in his hand. That's his coffee order. He's not even sure what Austin would want.

"Oh... umm..." You look at him and your smile falls. You thought something special happened last night, but maybe it was just another in a long line of one night stands for him.

"Anyway. Here." You hand him the coffee and then walk back to where you normally stand, waiting for someone else to tell you what to do. You take a deep breath and try to make sure you don't let the tears that are trying to gather fall down your face.

"Goddamnit." Elvis whispers under his breath. Austin turns to him.

"What the hell was that?"

"You really don't remember anything when I'm... in you... do you?"

"No. What did you do?!" Elvis sighs and tries to think of how he can explain what happened between you last night.

"Well..."

"Elvis. They're going to call for me on set soon. Start talking."

"We went out last night."

"We?!"

"Me and her. But she thinks it was you..."

"You just thought you'd borrow me for the evening?"

"Look, I'm sorry, but I really like her and it was... it was really great."

"Elvis, did you have sex with her in my body?" Elvis cringes and looks down at the floor.

"Mayyybeee..."

"Elvis! What the hell?!"

"I'm sorry! You said no and I just really like her..."

"If you'd asked again, I probably would've said yes."

"Wait? Really?"

"Yes. But you didn't ask-"

"I know. I'm sorry. I won't do it again. I promise."

"We had sex?"

"... yes..."

"It was good?"

"Austin, it was incredible. She's amazing-"

"It's my turn."

"What?"

"I'm taking her out tonight. And you stay out. I wanted to ask her out, so I'm going to." Elvis stands there speechless. This is not what he expected. He expected anger or permission to continue. But this is something totally different. He did not expect competition. Austin takes a sip of the coffee you brought him and winces.

"Two creams and two sugars, dude? Have you never heard of a latte?"

Elvis rolls his eyes and Austin turns and walks towards you.

"Hey! I'm sorry I was awkward. Thank you for the coffee. What are you doing tonight?" You look up suddenly, a bright smile on your face.

"Oh, nothing! You wanna hang out?"

"Yeah, that'd be awesome. Can I pick you up around 7?"

"Yes!" He leans forward and kisses your cheek and whispers in your ear.

"I'll see you then." He walks out to the set and you blush. You try to focus on what you're supposed to be doing but the only thing in your head is the fact that you might actually be dating Austin Butler.

What you don't see is the smirk Austin shoots to Elvis. As he passes him to get to where he's going, he whispers.

"Game on, man."

******

That night, Austin shows up at your door dressed far more casually than the night before. Also, his hair is messier and he seems more confident.

"Hey, baby. You ready?" You nod. Apparently sleeping with you was an ego boost of some kind, but you're not exactly complaining. He seems to be more at home in himself and the confidence is hot.

For your date, he first takes you to a small restaurant he's found while he's been in town. It's a hole-in-the-wall type of place, but the food is amazing. Next, he takes you for cocktails at a local bar. It's small and intimate, but upscale nonetheless. After that, you find yourself back at his place on his couch.

This date somehow feels completely opposite of the one last night, but it's not bad, it's just different. He's just as sweet and thoughtful as he was the night before. He settles onto the couch next to you and throws his arm around you.

"You wanna watch something?"

"Sure. What did you have in mind?"

"Anything you want, baby."

What you don't know about this date is that Elvis is there the whole time. He tries to stay quiet, but throughout the evening he finds himself giving tips to Austin about what you like and don't like. The competitive side of him is begging him to shut up, but he also wants to see you taken care of. Austin is doing his best to ignore him, though. He wants to earn your affection in his own right.

"Well. What's your favorite Elvis media?" You ask. Elvis laughs.

"Ha! She's still thinking about me." Austin looks at him and rolls his eyes. He wants to yell at him that she didn't know it was him, but he also doesn't want to appear crazy.

"That feels like work for me, baby. We can watch something if you want, though..."

"Oh, no! I'm sorry. I didn't even think of it that way. We can watch whatever you want."

"How about some music?"

"Yes! Even better." He stands up and walks over to a record player and starts flipping through albums.

"Most everything I have is oldies. Is that okay?" You smile. Elvis scoffs. Oldies.

"That's the music I grew up with."

"Alright then. Fleetwood Mac, Three Dog Night, America, or Elton John?"

"Oh, man. That might be the hardest question anyone's ever asked me." Austin looks at you softly. You really are something else. "America. I'm in a mood tonight."

"I love it." Austin smiles. Elvis wishes you'd asked for something a little more his style, but he respects that you like what you like. The greatest hits album plays and Austin sits down next to you on the couch again. He fidgets with your hair on your shoulder absentmindedly. You turn to face him and you feel the energy between you become charged with something. He leans in slowly and presses his lips to yours. His hand cups your cheek and he kisses you again softly. The next time he leans in, it's an open-mouth kiss and his tongue slides into your mouth passionately.

But something is different. You can't quite put your finger on what it is, but the way he's kissing you is slightly different from last night. As he kisses down your neck, you decide that maybe you're just remembering wrong. Besides, this is excellent. Why would you complain? He sucks lightly on a spot near your collarbone.

"I don't think she'll like that." Elvis is still standing next to the couch. He's trying not to watch but his curiosity gets the best of him. Austin wants to ask if he plans to stay the whole time, but he can't really do that without freaking you out.

You moan softly as Austin's hands go to your breasts and he lays you down on the couch, situating himself on top of you. He pulls your shirt off quickly and then takes his off and you're shocked that he's moving this quickly. Last night you had to practically force him to touch you and tonight he's already got you half naked. Maybe it's just because this isn't the first time you've been together. His lips are all over your body as he kisses and licks your chest.

Elvis scoffs.

"You're paying too much attention to her top. Move down." Austin is trying so hard not to hear what Elvis is saying, but it's really starting to drive him crazy.

"Give me just a second, baby." Austin stands up and walks over to the record player. As he does, he mouths to Elvis. "GO. AWAY."

"What? It's not like she can see me. Besides, it looks like you need the help." He turns the music up really loud and walks back over to the couch. You look at him a little strangely and he smiles.

"Sorry, I just... wanted it... loud..." Elvis cracks up laughing at Austin trying to cover for his weird behavior. Austin goes back to kissing you and slides your pants down and off. Elvis rolls his eyes and turns his back. He doesn't really want to watch you with another man. Austin looks at you naked on the couch and shakes his head.

"Goddamn, baby, you're gorgeous." You smile. That sounds like him. He settles between your thighs on the couch and lowers his mouth to your clit. Your back arches as he moves his tongue over and around your sensitive bud. He pushes two fingers into you and spreads them, stretching you out as he licks you. That's new, but it feels good, so you don't protest. You feel your orgasm building as he keeps working his mouth on you.

"Oh, God, Austin." You moan.

"She's about to cum. Don't stop." Elvis hollers over the music. He can tell even without looking. Austin has to use every ounce of his acting skills to keep it together and stay focused on you. But Elvis is right. Your hand goes to his hair as you shudder and pulse around his fingers, your orgasm washing over you like a curtain of intense pleasure. He pulls back and wipes his mouth with his hand.

"You want me to fuck you, baby?" That's a slightly shocking difference from last night, but it's still hot, so you nod as he drops his pants and crawls on top of you. Elvis puts his face in his palm. He's wracking his brain for a way to get Austin to stop, but he can't think of anything. Instead, he stands faced away looking up at the ceiling while Austin pushes into you and begins to fuck you steadily.

"Yes! Yes!" You cry out breathlessly and Elvis hollers again.

"She's gonna cum again." Austin is so close to his own orgasm that he finally loses control.

"GODDAMNIT ELVIS DO YOU WANT TO DO THIS?!" He pulls out and sits up, looking at Elvis, who turns around slowly.

"You were doing just fine-"

"And yet you couldn't keep your mouth shut!" You look at Austin and over in the corner where he's looking. There's nothing there.

"Austin, what the hell-"

"I can see Elvis! Okay? I see him. He's here."

"You..."

"And sometimes he possesses me and does some of the movie. Last night, he thought he would take me for a joy ride and go out with you. That was him last night. Not me." Elvis looks between you to see how you'll respond to this information.

"Austin, I know you've worked really hard to get into this role..."

"No- I mean I have- but this is not that. I swear he's right over there." He gestures to Elvis in the corner who waves awkwardly, but you can't see him. That's when you realize that you're naked and grab your shirt to cover yourself.

"Tell her I've already seen her naked. She doesn't have to cover up for me." Austin rolls his eyes.

"Elvis says he's already seen you naked."

"Oh. Wait. He's really actually here?"

"Yep."

"And he takes over your body sometimes?"

"He does."

"And that was him last night and not you?!"

"Yes."

"Prove it." Elvis and Austin answer at the same time.

"What?"

"Prove it. What did you call me last night?"

"What do you mean?"

"You called me a specific pet name all night. What was it?"

"I don't know. Honey? I know he says honey a lot."

"Nope. Wrong. Let me talk to him." Austin stands up and pulls his pants back on. Then he looks over at Elvis.

"You heard the lady. Come on." Elvis nods slowly and then jumps. He opens his eyes in Austin's body. He sits down next to you on the couch and reaches his hand out to touch your cheek. He'll never get enough of the way your skin feels.

"Hey, doll." You close your eyes and lean into his touch.

"It really is you."

"It's me. And I called you doll."

"That's why everything has been so different tonight."

"Yes, I've been trying to tell him-"

"Wait. You've been here the whole time. Were you watching us-"

"No! I swear I turned my back. You can ask Austin." You look at him suspiciously.

"Can I talk to Austin?"

"I'll have to jump out and then you won't be able to see or hear me."

"But he will. So he can tell me what you say. If he lies, just come back."

"Alright then. Can I kiss you first?" You nod and he leans in and presses his lips to yours. He kisses you softly a few times and then pulls back. Elvis pulls himself out of Austin and sits on the other side of you on the couch. Austin shakes his head and blinks.

"Do you remember what happens when he's possessing you?"

"I don't."

"That's why you were so weird about the coffee this morning."

"Yes! Also I drink a vanilla latte. Elvis drinks coffee."

"Wow." You sit for a second trying to absorb what just happened.

"So which one does she pick?" Elvis asks Austin tentatively.

"I don't know, man." He turns to you. "He wants to know which one of us you pick."

"Pick?"

"To date." Elvis nods to Austin, who nods back. "We both want to know."

"Why do I have to pick? What if I want you both?"

"You can't even see Elvis!"

"No, but I can when he possesses you. I want you both." You stand up and put your clothes on while the two men sit dumbfounded on the couch. Once you're dressed, you turn and face Austin on the couch. "Where is he?"

"He's here next to me on the couch."

"Alright then." You look where you think he is and then back at Austin. "Figure it out, boys. Make a schedule or something. But I want you both."

You lean down and kiss Austin on the cheek. Then you turn to the other side of the couch and blow a kiss to Elvis.

"I'll see you in the morning. Y'all have fun coming up with a plan for how this will work." You walk to the front door and slip out, closing it behind you.

Elvis and Austin look at each other and bust out laughing. When they stop, Austin sighs and Elvis clicks his tongue. Elvis speaks first.

"Man, she's somethin' else."

"You got that right."

"I guess we better figure it out."

"I guess so..."

******

Until Part 3

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Taglist:

@ccab @elvisfatass @elvisalltheway101 @aliypop @18lkpeters @dkayfixates @tacozebra051 @your-nanas-house @deniseinmn @joshuntildawn13 @lookingforrainbows @60svintage @littlehoneyposts @epthedream69 @louisejoy86 @rjmartin11 @from-memphis-with-love @deltafalax @atleastpleasetelephone @cinnamoroll-things @returntopresley

[skriveting]

A bunch of different writing prompts MASTERLIST #2

updated 13.11.22

MASTERLIST #1 HERE

"This isn't going anywhere."

"This is making me very uncomfortable." "Good, I'm glad."

"Move along, move along, nothing to see here!"

"Where have you been?"

"My will to live is dwindling at an alarming rate."

"Don't get confused, you are disposable."

"Do you maybe wanna be friends?" "Go away!"

"Yeah, that tracks."

"A friend of theirs is no friend of mine."

"Why did you cut it like that?"

"Oh, dear."

"Could you put the knife down while you're talking, please?"

"Okay, I get it now." "You do?" "Yeah!" "Are you sure?" "No."

"All right, now let's get back to me yelling!"

"Let's eat a kiwi or two and calm down." "You know I don't condone cannibalism." "No, no, that's not what I meant-"

"How is it only Wednesday..." "It's Monday." "NO!!!!"

"Great, you again."

"You mean to tell me she hasn't read 1984?!" "Michael, she's 4." "And??"

"Hm. You know, I didn't really care to know that."

"It's getting worse, isn't it?" "It's nothing, don't worry about it."

"What's a few threats between friends?" "Exactly."

"I guess when you put it like that..."

"You couldn't be more wrong if you tried."

"I wish I could go on just one date where I didn't have to use the Heimlich maneuver." "Dude, what goes on on your dates?" "I wish I knew!"

"Keep up, please." "I'm trying!"

"What did you think?" "It was not good." "Dad!"

"Well I've heard that I can be an asshole, but I don't think it'll be a major problem." "I beg to differ."

"How was I supposed to know that?" "Well, if you'd read the brief I sent you, you would have!" "It was 600 pages!!"

"Put that down, that's disgusting."

"I'll tell you, that threw me for quite a loop!" "Stop talking like that."

"I've waited a long time for this." "I'm sorry, who are you?"

"So what's your plan, talking me to death? Because if so, it's working."

"Let's go, I don't have all day."

"I thought this would be difficult. But, looking at you now..."

"Have you always been this much of an asshole?"

"The least you could do is put up a fight worth my time."

"Why are we doing this?" "You can't be serious."

"Stop wasting time."

"Pity. I'd actually been looking forward to this."

"And you wonder why I hate you."

"Don't push your luck."

"I came alone."

"How you doing, champ?" "Don't call me that."

"I'll let you know."

"How are you still alive?!" "That's a long story."

"A hello would've been nice."

"I'm out of here."

"Get me out of this wretched torture device!" "Get a hold of yourself, it's just a turtleneck sweater-" "I am suffocating!!"

"Yes, it's terrible, and yes, I love it."

"Would you let go already?!"

"Riddle me this: what the heck is going on?!"

"You'd think I'd know better by now."

"I'm feeling pretty vulnerable right now." "Sick, dude."

"Some things never change."

"I'd like for us all to acknowledge that this was a huge mistake."

"So, what do you think?" "Hm. Not enough violence."

"If everyone could just calm down for a second, that'd be great."

"What more do I have to do before you realize that you can trust me?"

"I'm not into that sort of stuff."

"This is actually a pretty common side-effect." "Somehow I doubt that."

"Ever since the day I met you I feel the light inside me dwindle a little more with each passing day."

"You aren't meant to live like this." "Says who?"

"I've had a really hard time trying to work through this."

"What are you doing here? It's four in the morning!"

"Some days I really love my job. This is not one of those days."

"Are you sure about this?" "As sure as I can be, given the circumstances."

"I've given them enough chances. I'm not letting myself be put through that again."

"You got the right answer, but I have no idea how." "Neither do I, to be honest."

"How did you survive that??"

"There's just something about it that bugs me, but I can't put my finger on it..."

"Take that thing off."

"You don't have to tell me twice."

"Did you seriously think that would work?"

"Don't bother me."

"That's all right, I was leaving anyway."

"Well, you know..." "No, I don't, that's why I'm asking."

"Guess I missed the memo."

"Nevermind, it's nothing."

"What gave you that impression?"

“I don't take orders from anyone, let alone from people like you.”

"Wait, you’re telling me it’s supposed to taste like this??"

"It’s not wise to live a life where you make decisions based on compassion and love in a world that won’t show you any."

"Let's save us both some time and just be honest with each other from the start. If you're not, I'll find out eventually anyway, so let's just cut the crap right from the get-go."

"Isn't this enough?"

"Are you afraid?" "Of you? Never."

"Don't ever make me do that again."

"What are you doing?" "I told you, you have to trust me. I figure I should prove to you that you can."

"How stupid do you think I am?!"

"You owe me." "I don't owe you anything."

"I can't believe you carried me off like that, you made me look like a weakling in front of everyone!" "You were dying-" 

"Are you seeing this too or am I having a stroke?"

"Stop doing that, you're freaking me out!"

"This cake reeks of resentment and bitterness." "When we get to the party I'm going to need you to stop talking like that."

"Hang on, hang on, I have the perfect playlist for this scenario-" "Now is not the time!!!"

"Are those... bite marks?"

"The only thing about you that never disappoints, is your ability to disappoint."

"You're incredible." "Aw, thanks!" "Not a compliment, babe."

"I thought you didn't believe in fate." "Until I met you, I didn't."

"Get that thing away from me!"

"I want to get better, I just don't know how..." "That's bullshit."

"Name's Tammy. Short for Tambourine."

"Quit your yapping and start napping."

"Hold on tight!"

"Are you sure you're not drunk?"

"What am I supposed to do with this thing??" "She's a baby, Marc!" "Okay, what am I supposed to do with this baby??!"

"I... I've got nothing."

"You're coming here, right now, are we clear?"

"Why does it matter?" "Because it matters to me!"

"What do you think?" "Do you want me to be honest, or do you want me to be nice? I can't do both."

"I can't do that, I'll embarrass myself!" "That's never stopped you before!"

[suggestivesmiley]

Billy, Stu and Randy (separately) reacting to male reader in a skirt (part 2)

Once again requested from a friend; "okay do a part 2 to the skirt thing, but make it nsfw"

she/her or she/they / female aligned people DNI (you will be blocked.)

Warning(s): cursing, nsfw/smut, bottom! reader, degradation/praise stuff, brief possessive behavior (on Billy's part. 🙄)

Hc count: Billy; 15, Stu; 17, Randy; 22.

📸📸📸

Billy Loomis

So, Billy isn't one to get into anything too serious. I mean, he's kinda just the type to hit it and then leave, really nothing sensual happening or any real aftercare.

But, I have a feeling he'd be a little different with you. Seeing how he wants the relationship to actually work lmao.

But yeah, mentioned before, he likes hiking up the shorter skirts then fiddling with the fabric of the longer ones.

But he'll 100% find a way to stick his hand underneath it to touch you.

And if you don't stop him or express discomfort in anyway, he'll just continue. He'd grab your thighs a little too tight while he rests his chin on your shoulder, assuming you're on his lap since that's where he asked told you to sit.

Definitely would start to tease and degrade you as soon as he can see a tent bulging up against the fabric of your skirt.

"You get so overly excited (Y/n)."

"Can't control yourself?"

He'd insist on you keeping the skirt on if you two decide on moving up a notch, you'd probably ask why and all you'd get in response is a shrug.

He'd have difficulty with actually pleasing you if the skirts too tight, it'd probably piss him off honestly. (💀💀)

"Those flowy skirts are easier to work with." He'd complain.

While he's jerking you off, his other arm would be wrapped around your waist so your back can be pressed against his chest and he'd just be mumbling into the side of your neck.

"You're mine, you know?"

"I know, I'm yours, Billy."

"Good boy."

Stu Macher

He's pretty different than Billy, probably the opposite actually, loves foreplay, making everything sensual and really enjoys aftercare (even if you don't need it, you're getting aftercare.)

Is not subtle about anything, as mentioned before, hikes up your skirt no matter where you two are, peeks underneath the flowy ones and just laughs it off when you get all flustered.

Of course, he'd never do anything that you didn't want him to, but loves embarrassing you as long as you aren't uncomfortable.

Let's assume you're on his lap, he'd be holding you up against him and would probably have his head hanging over your shoulder to gaze down at your thighs while he just lets his mouth run away from him.

"You know what would be hot?" Then goes into great detail about wanting to fuck you in the skirt you're wearing.

Would also like for you to keep it on, but wouldn't be too pissed off when the tight skirt doesn't really wanna cooperate with him.

He'd probably turn you around and tell you to grind on his thigh or something like that, just to make you suffer.

"You're so red, is it that embarrassing? I think you look great, baby."

Instead of simply jerking you off like Billy, he'd get you to (strugglingly) ride him.

He'd do whatever he can to help you move, but if it's a tight skirt, that'd suck. His hands would glide from your hips to waist before resting on your thighs until you need him to help again.

Praises thrown everywhere.

"You look great", "You're doing amazing", "Just like that, good boy", etc etc.

Oh and trust me, if you think you're getting out of this situation without having marks somewhere, you're wrong.

Since you kept the skirt on, you'd climax and probably cover the skirt in it.

"Oh that sucks."

"You're buying me a new one, Stuart."

"As long as we can do the same to that one, I'll gladly buy you another."

Randy Meeks

Oh my god, you're the one igniting this, not him, but he's not complaining of course.

Randy is not the type to get sexual immediately, and would probably only start getting into that if you're the one asking or expressing wanting something from him.

Assuming you're on his lap again, you'd be squirming around to tease him, and of course you'd notice when he gets really quiet.

"You good?" You'd ask and glance back at him, before feeling the bulge that's growing in his pants, then you'd grin and chuckle softly.

He's embarrassed, of course he's embarrassed.

You'd wiggle down into his bulge, and ask "What's this about?"

"It's a natural reaction! You... You know how it works, (Y/n)! If something rubs against it enough it- you know-"

He is so so red, he looks like he's an actual tomato.

You'd tease him a little bit before saying that you'll help, and he just quickly looks at you and looks like he's asking 'seriously?'

He wouldn't care if you kept the skirt on or not, but would probably be more flushed if you kept it on.

You manage to get your own dick out if the skirts not too tight, you just roll it back enough and everything. Getting his size out is pretty easy, considering he's not also wearing a skirt.

You'd put your dicks together and jerk them off while they're touching, and he'd just melt. He wouldn't know what to do, so he'd just hold you and let himself be vocal.

It seems you're more in control in this situation.

"Does this feel good?"

"O-Of course it does..."

He'd stutter a lot, and would mess up on what he's trying to say because so many things are racing through his head.

Once you two reach your climaxes, he'd start to say sorry about the fact he ruined your clothes, then you'd say it's fine cause you also ruined his clothes.

He's pretty worn out and tired afterwards though, unlike you.

"That was.. great..."

"Yeah? We should do it again sometime."

"You'd really want to...?"

"Obviously."

[shinisbestboy]

was bored so I thought I'd try writing again since I liked it so much the first time :)

contains joemaru because there is not enough of them online

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was a lazy weekend afternoon.. Joe was at his house, playing video games and relaxing as he ignores all the homework he knew Sara will kill him for later. he ate a slice of reheated pizza from.. last night? a few days ago? didn't really matter, he wasn't letting a good piece of pizza go to waste! he was quite engrossed in his game of Zombie Slayers V3 (return of the Chad plague) that he didn't notice his phone ringing.. it vibrated loudly, Joe needed to pause his game so he could pick it up

"Y'ello? your boy Joe here" he started, as he was a creature of habit. the voice on the other side didn't pay it much mind "Joe I need to talk to you about something" it was the familiar sound of Sara.. she seemed a little stressed from what Joe could tell so he decided to take it more semi-seriously "what's up? you decide to confess your undying love for me yet?" he chuckled.. he sure had a loose definition of 'semi-serious'.. lightening up the mood couldn't hurt tho

Sara huffed, Joe imagined her blushing pouty expression and it made him smile.. Sara always looked her best when all flustered "not that!! ugh, no this is important! do you remember that guy I was telling you about at school? the new transfer boy with the white hair?" Sara explained, Joe tilted his head back as he tried to remember "you mean that Ranmaru guy? kinda looks like a dandelion up top?" he asked "yes that's him! we were talking on the phone and he totally asked me out! like he called it a date and everything! I didn't know what to say, I mean I barely know the guy so I wanted to say no but I panicked! now I have a date *tonight* and I seriously don't know how to tell him I'm not interested!" Sara spoke very quickly, definitely needing to get this situation off her chest.

Joe needed a moment to process the words but this was regular panicky Sara.. he could decipher what she said easily. he hummed "so you need a wingman, huh? then I gotcha Sara! I'm a total love expert, you two will be communicating so hard that he'll forget all about the whole silly date!" Joe chuckled, not earning one in return "don't make me regret this.. just meet me at my place in 20 minutes" Sara sighed as she quickly ended the call. Joe stood up from his seat, pizza forgotten and the game saved, finally something exciting to do! I mean he loved video games but there are only so many hours you can handle killing zombies

after getting dressed and packing his bookbag of the dating essentials, he took his bike and quickly made his way to Sara's house down the road. it didn't take long before he parked his bike on the side of the house and went to the main entrance. Sara was obviously there waiting for him, she let him in so they could go up to her room. poor Sara was a mess.. she wasn't so good at the whole high school romance thing, it's a good thing she had her good old pal Joe! "so.. what's the plan? we getting you all pretty'd up to break his heart or we ditching together?" Joe broke the silence as Sara didn't seem to know where to start "I mean.. I don't want to be cruel! maybe.. when he shows up, pretend to be my dad? or just tell him I'm sick in bed! or uh.. make something up, anything will do! I just can't do it myself!" Sara seemed defeated already, usually problems always had a solution with her but this was way out of her comfort zone, Joe understood how she felt

"if that's all it is, then I can do that no problem! seriously, you don't gotta worry about a thing, your good pal Joe is on the case!" he confidently puffed out his chest, this did not give Sara as much confidence as he intended but it didn't matter. a loud ring of the doorbell could be heard throughout the whole house, Joe hummed "wow.. he certainly got here fast.. time to work my charm!" they both got up tho Joe was the one brave enough to venture down the stairs.. Sara was safe from her hiding spot with a view to make sure Joe doesn't royally mess this up

Joe opened the door to be face to face with the shorter fluffy male, he looked not very well prepared.. he probably rushed to get here just like Joe did.. he looked much nicer in more casual clothes tho compared to the school uniform Joe would see at school. Joe smiled "hey! you're Ranmaru from school, aren't cha? I heard so much about you! I'm Joe" he happily introduced himself, taking the nervous boy's hand and happily shaking it. Ranmaru was a little shaken as he hadn't prepared to see anyone but Sara at the door.. this wasn't what he was expecting at all "o-oh um, yeah that's me" he didn't quite know what else to say to that.. I mean he didn't think anyone really knew his name anyway, he shook himself out of his spout of nervousness tho as he had a mission right now. taking his hand back, Ranmaru tried to stand a bit taller "is Sara here? or do I.. have the wrong house..?" he asked, he chuckled awkwardly.. he would feel very embarrassed if he was bothering a random person right now! he was already nervous enough for this date..

"Sara? oh yeah, she uh.. she's super sick right now! barfin' her guts out, not fun at all. she wanted to say no but she's just too polite, you know?" Joe wasn't the best at lying but by Ranmaru's concerned expression.. it looks like it worked easily "oh no! I had no idea! oh, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to put any pressure on her like that! I just have these movie tickets, but if she's not free then that's totally fine I don't mind" Ranmaru quickly backpedaled, panicking as he realized he may have been too quick to think it'd be that easy. it was weird since Sara didn't sound very sick.. but he definitely had no right to doubt anything, that'd just be nosy and all

unfortunately Joe's interest was perked "ooh wait, movie you say? what kind of movie was it?" he asked, he knew it might be a little salt on the wound to talk about since Sara wasn't going but his curiosity got the better of him. Ranmaru didn't expect any sort of interest from Joe.. but he took the folded-up ticket from his pocket to double-check "it was just the new Zombie Slayer 4.0 movie, Karen vs Chad Jr.. or something like that. I got these tickets for free so probably not the best--" Ranmaru was cut off by an excited Joe "woah wait, you were going to take Sara on a date like that?? she's way not into the zombie slayer series, I have tried getting her into it! trust me on this one, it wouldn't have ended nicely" he chuckled, Sara, unfortunately, was not the cute 'oh no this is scary, I will cling up to the closest person.. she was more of an 'I brought my katana for this very reason' and the tv is covered in sword cracks because of it.. Joe couldn't imagine seeing that happen in a movie theater, tho it would be a funny sight

Ranmaru sighed "I see.. dodged a bullet there then, heh.." he tried to sound optimistic but this wasn't looking good at all.. I mean first, he hears Sara is sick and now the date he was all mentally prepared for was probably going to flop anyway? a great boost for his ego.. he's glad he avoided the worst-case scenarios but he still wished it could have gone better "well.. I don't want to keep bothering you.." the sheep mumbled as he stood back, ready to call it quits. Joe stopped him "oh wait if you've got two tickets then can I come? I mean don't wanna let them go to waste, right?" it was worth a shot, if Sara wasn't going to take a date with the cute boy then Joe will just have to do it for her! plus he seemed like a nice guy, might as well get to know him, right?

Ranmaru was definitely caught off guard by this "huh?? you want to watch a movie with me?" he blushed, the soft pink on his cheeks was very visible on his pale skin.. Joe thought it was cute "yeah of course! zombie slayers is definitely a best friends movie, you know? come on let's go!" Joe closed the door behind him with a smile.. leaving Sara unable to keep seeing what was happening. "well, what are you waiting for?" Joe asked the dumbfounded male, who was definitely speechless by the sudden change of plans but after a moment he thought maybe this wasn't so bad "nothing.. I'm ready to go" he nodded, catching up to Joe as they left on their "date"

((ooc// I will probably write the rest in a part 2 cause this is already getting so long, tysm for reading, and don't be afraid to send me asks <3))

[angieflorez369]

If it’s you

Zatanna x Green lantern

I DO NOT OWN THESE CHARACTERS, THEY BELONG TO DCSHG

Seriously?

Part 1

“Seriously! How does Jessica not know?" Zee paced around Karen's room back and forth.

"Um.. maybe you should give bigger hints?" Karen played with her hair, Zee always made Karen nervous whenever she paced around like this.

"Bigger hints? Bigger hints! I've been giving these "hints" since the day we met Karen! She's just so..so!! What is she?"

"Oblivious?"

"Exactly! Like how can she not be getting these humongous hints?" Zee places her hands on her hips and waited for an answer from her best friend.

"Well.. what kind of hints have you been giving her Zee?"

"Well.."

[FLASHBACK]

"Hey Jess, I'm so glad you decided to join me for some morning coffee" Zee welcomed as Jessica sat in front of her at their favorite place, Sweet Justice.

"Of course! Sooo, what's the occasion?" Jessica sipped her iced coffee as she raised a brow to her friend.

"Wha- I can't just have a nice time with one of my..very special friends?" Zee ran her fingers along Jessica's tanned arm.

"Mmhhmm, Zo I know you, do you need a favor or something? Because I am more than willing to help a friend in need, and you know that" Jessica insisted completely not noticing Zee's actions.

"Well... maybe you can help me out personally?" Zee teases as she inches closer to her friends face.

"Your period?"

Zee completely stopped moving. "What? No"

"You're pregnant?!" Jessica gasped and pulled Zee for a very close hug causing for items to fall off the table, causing VERY loud noises.

"WHAT? No I'm not preg-!"

"Ooooohhh Zo, I'm so happy for you! Wait a minute? Who's the father?" Jessica asked aloud which grabbed people's attention in the room.

"Jessica!" Zee blurted out, "I'm not pregnant!" Zee grabbed a hold of Jessica's face to make her stop moving around so much.

"Oh" Jessica scoffed "I knew that, I was just making sure you knew I was umm..joking" The girls both sat back down and brushed themselves off, both blushing from the very loud commotion they caused.

"Sooo, what was your favor?" Jessica slurped her drink as it ran down her lips.

Zee's eyes trailed where the liquid flowed down closer to Jessica's chest. Zo, being a neat freak got a little irritated and grabbed a napkin and wiped her face. The two girls stared into each other's eyes for awhile, as Zatara slowly inches closer to Jess, closing her eyes.

"Zee?" Jessica's face twisted with confusion, "What are you doing?"

Zee's lips puckered up and her eyes widened, "Oh! Uhh, there was an..eyelash right there" Zee blew Jessica's face, making Jessica flinch. "Heh.. got it" Zee sat back down in her chair with her face completely flushed.

"So...school?"

[PRESENT TIME]

"Wow" Karen huffed, "That was rough to listen to". Karen put a hand over her chest.

"Imagine being there! I've completely lost my game Karen! W-what should I do?"

"Don't worry, I can just call Kara for some good girl advice, since yanno she's well umm..experienced" Karen went picked up her phone when suddenly..

"NO!" Zee slapped the phone out of her hand.

"Zee! What the heck?!"

"Sorry! Sorry, I'm sorry I just- you can't tell Kara! Or any of the girls in fact" Zee picked up Karen's phone and handed it to her.

"And why not? These are our friends they'll understand" Karen comforted her friend.

"Just- not yet. Please, I need you! You're the only one I've told about this! It's you, you gotta help me! Tell me what to do!" Zee felt like she was spiraling.

Karen very softly slapped Zee's face. It felt like so soft, was that even a slap? Which shocked the both of them.

"What the hell was that?"

"A slap, to show you to snap out of it! You are not acting like yourself!" Karen shook Zee back and forth.

"Okay okay!" Zee inhaled sharply and exhaled, "what should I do?"

"I don't know"

"Karennnn" Zee moaned, "come on help me out here!"

"Alright alright, you're feminine right?"

"Do you even need to ask?" Zee flipped her hair perfectly.

"So use that! Use your feminine charms to woo her!"

"Weren't you listening to my story? She's oblivious to anything I hint at!" Zee complained as she laid on Karen's bed.

"Be even bolder, give her little kisses or hold her hand. You're Zee Zatara for gods sake!"

"You're right! I've got this!"

[LINEBREAK]

"I don't got this" Zee whispered. As Karen and her walked together to Sweet justice.

"Don't back down now Zo!" Karen hushed to her friend, "you got this in the bag!". Karen nudged her best friend. Zee smiled and nodded as they arrived at the destination.

"There you guys are! Come on sit!" Jessica waved her friends over. Zee gulped and Karen softly pushed Zee towards their reserved booth.

All the girls ordered their food and talked about their recent events that occurred to them all. They laughed, all having a good time. When Karen cleared her throat, pointing her head towards Jessica's direction. Zee nodded.

"Sooo" Zee cleared her throat, "Does anyone have a special someone on their mind?" Zee smirked as she looked at all her friends.

Each of the girls giggled at each other, all except Kara. Who was currently devouring her meal, which got everyone's attention.

"What?" Kara said as she had food hanging off her mouth. Zee cringed and have her a napkin, for being the neat freak she was.

"Must you be so crude" Zee muttered as she crossed her arms which made Kara scowl at her feminine friend.

"Kara, do you encounter romantic feelings for a decent human being as well?" Diana clasped her hands together hopefully getting a very romantic answer.

"Eh" Kara said as she wiped her dirty face, "I'm not really crushing on anyone right now, I'm feeling myself yanno?" Kara gave her knowing grin and crossed her arms.

"Booorrrinnggg! Anyways, Diana whose yours?" Barbara asked as she batted her eyelashes at her warrior friend.

"Oh heh well.." Diana started while a certain friend cut her off.

"Oh please! It's obviously that Steve guy" Kara interrupted as she ate a cherry off her ice cream she ordered.

"While he is very cute.. I have another that makes me feel the same way in fact" Diana corrected.

This caught all of their friends attention. "Who?!" They all asked at the same time.

"Is it Kara?!" Karen blurted out which made everyone turn their attention to little bumble bee, "What? They'd be cute together" Karen's voice slowly went quiet as she spoke.

"She can't date one of us, that'd be weird! Silly bee!" Jessica laughed as she rumbled her friends hair.

"Haha yeah weird.." Zee drank her kiwi boba drink as she slowly sank in her seat. Losing all of her confidence to make a move at all.

Karen saw her friend deflate which made Karen regret what she said.

"So who is it?" Barbara asked, "I'm dying to know!!"

Diana inhaled "Tatsu." She stated, closing her eyes. After a couple of seconds of silence she poked her one eye open to see their reactions. She opened her eyes to see them smile that reaches so high it was concerning. They all squealed and squeezed their taller friend. "Soooo cute!!!" They all cried out in unison which gained a giggle from them all.

"I knew you girls had a spark, just never knew it was legit!" Kara slammed her fists on the table, "you gotta ask her out!".

"What? Why?" Diana questioned as she was getting pushed out of Sweet justice by all her friends. "You're made for each other!" As their friends echoed throughout the street into Jessica's van and drove to Tatsu's house. All except one.

Zee stared at her drink as tears formed and slowly fell onto the table. She put her drink aside and wept into her arms. Barry caught sight of this and sighed. He walked over and sat with her, patting her shoulders. Zee gasped and wiped her eyes, which smeared her makeup but she didn't care right now.I

"S-sorry, I'll pay and take off, you don't wanna see a mess like me right now" Zee sniffed and reached for her bag, when a hand stopped hers, "Barry?"

"It's okay, this ones on the house" He smiled and nodded his head.

"Wow thank you. I'm sorry you had to see me like this" Zee apologized hanging her head low.

"Hey, it's okay. We're friends right?"

"Of course, why would you ask that?" She was really confused now.

"Because when a friend is in need, you help them. It's what heroes do" The two exchanged a hearty laugh.

"Thanks Barry"

"Of course, now what's wrong?"

Zee sighed, "I have a crush."

Barry tilted his head "Uhh I'm not following, what's wrong with that?"

"Oh nothing, except I have a crush on one of my best friends!"

"Karen?"

"What? No. She's my best best friend, I feel no romantic feelings towards her. I see her as a sister more than a lover" Zee waved off that thought.

"Then who?"

Zee sighed once more, "Its Jessica.."

Barry's eyes widened, "Oh wow, I wouldn't have seen that"

"Really? Is it that weird? Is it weird to feel this way about a friend? A really close friend?" Zee asked squeezing Barry's hands in anticipation.

"Of course not, it's completely okay to feel this way! Trust me"

Zee examined her speedy friend, "It seems like you know what you're talking about, who's the girl?"

Barry sighed, how was she so good at reading people? "It's...Barbara" Barry scratched his head in embarrassment, his face heating up.

"I knew it! You two would be so perfect for each other!" Zee gushed.

"You think so? I don't even know if she likes me though, how can you be so sure?" Barry asked getting anxious for the answer.

"Of course she does, look at the way she talks to you and interacts with you, those are some obvious hints right there Barry!" Zee, the love guru.

"Wow! This is great! You know what, maybe I will tell her how I feel!" Barry stood up from the booth they sat at.

"Yes! Go for it Barry! Tap that ass!" Zee gave a huge whoop and slapped her friends butt.

"Zee!" Barry blushed and laughed at her flirty friend, "where is she anyways?"

"She should be at Tatsu's house with all the girls" Zee remembered.

"Right, yanno... you should tap Jessica's too" Barry smirked as he ran out the door, already checking out of work.

Zee blushed at what her friend said, "One day, but for now...I can't" Zee picked up her purse and headed out the door, she does have school tomorrow after all.

[punkscowardschampions]

Jac & Amelia

Jac: Are you okay? My parents would've paid for a cab if they weren't sober enough to drive you back Amelia: My dad was [somewhere nearby cos JJ live in town] Jac: Oh, right Jac: you seized your opportunity then, alright Jac: Is still should've gone with to make sure Amelia: I didn't want her to, she was in too excitable a mood Jac: lol, can't really fault you that Jac: you got a headache, yeah? Amelia: I got the aura so I knew it was time to leave, last time I ignored that I was sick everywhere Jac: That's fair Jac: you do not want that unless you've had a really wild night Amelia: sorry I didn't say bye Jac: well that's okay, if you didn't have time Jac: we were just worried Amelia: is Is okay? I was probably a bit rude to her Jac: Don't worry, she seems fine Jac: you know her Amelia: yeah Amelia: alright cool Jac: make sure you stay hydrated, yeah Jac: and no more screentime Amelia: I'll 😴 it off if I can Jac: Sounds like a plan 🙂 Amelia: it sounds 😕 but I couldn't stay Jac: you can't help that you get migraines Jac: it must be so crap for you Amelia: we've all got crap to deal with Amelia: I wouldn't swap Sav for hers Jac: 😢 I know Jac: she deals so well, considering how fresh it all is Amelia: Where's her boyfriend at? It's not technically a night you can get away with chucking fireworks at your mates or cars Jac: Out on the lash with his mates Jac: or something Amelia: very supportive Jac: yeah, I know Jac: oh well, she had us Amelia: you, you mean Jac: are you not her friend too? Amelia: that's up for debate, but she'd win it over me Amelia: so it probably depends what she wants the answer to be Amelia: and who's asking Jac: She definitely views you as a friend Amelia: okay Jac: No, come on, you don't think she does? Amelia: I know she doesn't Jac: Why do you think that? Amelia: I know it because she's said a handful of words to me lately & all of them are in some way bitchy or patronising Jac: How many have you said to her? Jac: and how nice have you been to her? Amelia: I don't like her, I'm not going to act like I do Jac: Then the issue is a you thing, isn't it Jac: Savannah does like you, and it's not really on to say you know otherwise, simply because that's how you feel about her Amelia: no, it's a me and her clash Amelia: it isn't one-sided Jac: Okay, if you say so Jac: but I don't see her trying to start anything with you, and like I said, I've told you she's told me privately that she likes you Jac: she knows you aren't her biggest fan though Amelia: she would say that to you Jac: Now you're being ridiculous Amelia: no I'm not, she wants me to look like I'm the dickhead and it's clearly working Jac: well no, what she wants is friends who can support her through this tough time and not make her life any more shit Jac: I really do not think she has the time, never mind the desire, to play games to make you look like some kind of villain ??? Jac: we seriously do not need to be that dramatic about things Amelia: fine Jac: it clearly isn't but I'm not going to agree with you Jac: you're not feeling well right now, you're just lashing out Amelia: you sound as patronising as her now Jac: for giving you an excuse for your behaviour? Jac: it's being gracious Amelia: I don't need to be fucking excused Amelia: I haven't done anything wrong Jac: You're being rude to Savannah and now you're being rude to me Jac: you're attacking and saying you're being attacked Jac: just calm down and we can come back to this when you aren't in such a state Amelia: yeah because she's the only one whose dramatics you indulge Amelia: I haven't been rude to her, I've made an effort Amelia: it doesn't change my opinion Jac: You're accusing her of having some plot right now, also of not liking you, being bitchy and patronising...yeah, that's rude, Amelia Jac: and oddly enough, when she went off crying, it was not about you Jac: call it dramatics if you want, but I'd say her home life situation warrants more empathy and listening to than whatever this idea, about us being against you or something, that you've concocted does Amelia: I'm not on her radar when she isn't subtly slagging me off or wishing I'd fuck off, obviously it wasn't about me Amelia: the latter is way less subtle though Jac: You're right in that I'm not indulging this Jac: you're just wrong, that's it Jac: but if you won't listen to reason, and me, then there's nothing else I can do to change your mind Amelia: you wanting me to be wrong doesn't make me wrong Jac: you having no proof for her dislking you, bar the fact you dislike her, doesn't make it true Jac: if you want to walk around thinking people have a problem with you when they don't, that's your call Jac: it's sad but it's clearly an internal issue Amelia: there's proof in every group chat if you want to go back & read it Jac: the fact you're in a group chat together, to plan to do stuff, to talk, kinda negates that Amelia: no it doesn't Jac: totally, when you hate someone and want them to fuck off, you choose to spend time talking to them when you don't have to Amelia: she doesn't spend any time talking to me Jac: well it isn't a private chat Jac: do you expect her to ignore me and Is? Jac: if you wanna have a 1x1 she'd be more than happy, like Amelia: Oh, she ignores Is plenty Amelia: but that's not my fight to have Jac: 🙄 I can assure you, we understand how DMs work Jac: if we wanted to talk just us, we would, and do Jac: and Is seems fine to me, like I said Amelia: great Jac: 🤷 okay then Amelia: 👋 Jac: I hope you feel better when you wake up Amelia: thanks Jac: Night Amelia: goodnight Jac: [hope you do go to sleep so you don't see those gay ass stories] Amelia: [you know she will because she's not actually sick soz gal] Jac: [i mean, you do have 24 hours so bit of a long shot when you're this in love lol] Amelia: [everyone gonna be seeing it including Ty who has been lowkey ignored all night as well] Amelia: [we should say she writes something but then deletes it so Jac only knows she deleted it for the sheer gay drama of it] Jac: [none of y'all got invites to this sleepover, but yes 1000%] Jac: ? Amelia: 🤨 Jac: butt-dial? Amelia: why would I be sitting on my phone? Amelia: I'm not thrashing about with a 🤒 Jac: I don't know why you'd delete a message either Jac: unless you sent me something really 💦 meant for someone else, in which case I wanna know anyway Amelia: I can nurse myself Amelia: though there are loads of lads who would put me to sleep Jac: 🙀 Amelia! Amelia: no Amelia: 🥱 NOT whatever you're thinking Jac: Sure 😉😂 Amelia: 😣 Jac: So grouchy Jac: I'd know if you were texting someone Amelia: would you? Jac: of course Jac: what secret have you ever kept from me? Amelia: I didn't need to before Jac: you don't need to now Jac: you aren't going to shock me with your thirst Amelia: I'm staying hydrated like you instructed Amelia: there's nothing to tell, which is why I pressed delete Jac: What did you say? Amelia: if I repeat it there was literally no point in deleting it Amelia: so no, nothing Jac: Well why did you? Amelia: because it's 😳 Jac: how 😳 can it be Jac: we've known each other at our most cringe Amelia: that was us both being awkward not just me making a massive tit of myself Jac: rude Jac: you're meant to disagree Amelia: alright, I'll lie Jac: you're already being very sneaky, you may as well Amelia: okay Jac: no, tell me, dickhead! Amelia: rude Jac: you're rude Jac: you know you can't just take back a message Amelia: I have & I win Jac: you can't do it without leaving evidence Jac: and I'm not just going to drop it Amelia: 🙄 Jac: why are you saying shit to my virtual face then Amelia: how else am I supposed to speak to you? Jac: I'm not going to apparate into your room 'cos you fancy having a go Jac: don't be a baby, what did you say Amelia: maybe I was saying sorry but you're so undeserving I took it back Amelia: that'd be fitting Jac: oh right, your whole conspiracy theory Jac: you forgot for a hot sec you believed in that, yeah, sure Amelia: it's typical of you to only give a shit about what I'm trying to say when I'm not saying it anymore Jac: you left without saying anything earlier Jac: then you wouldn't speak to me 'cos you were in a huff but yeah, pop off Amelia: I didn't have time to search your 🏠 for you earlier Jac: and I said it was okay but don't act like I was ignoring you Amelia: you were Amelia: but I get it, Savannah's in greater need Jac: oh my God, do you actually get it though Jac: like could you Jac: because this is really gross Amelia: of course I do, her parents are mental and it's horrible Jac: I mean, nicely put Jac: so you don't need to be snippy with me about needing to spend like 10 minutes alone so she can talk about it without my whole family standing around Amelia: I was the one who told you, ages ago, so you already know what I mean Amelia: and I'm not, I'm explaining why I left without saying anything before you hold it against me any harder Jac: you aren't just explaining though, because that was never the question Jac: you said I was ignoring YOU Jac: I said it was fine you left, you had a migraine Amelia: because it's not just about 10 minutes alone so she can cry on your shoulder and you fucking know it's not Jac: you don't like her Amelia: she takes over everything, including my birthday Jac: She was just trying to make sure you had a nice time Amelia: then why didn't I? Amelia: if she really cares so much about what I want, why wasn't it perfect? Jac: She's not a miracle worker Jac: I'm just saying she tried, can you fault someone for having good intentions? Amelia: she cares about you two having a good time, she doesn't try with me Amelia: because guess what, chucking money at something doesn't actually count Amelia: you used to know that Jac: you can't say how much she does or doesn't try Jac: maybe she's really trying, and I happen to think she is, and I've got it on better authority than you Jac: as you said, it's not as if she's had close friends before really Jac: you could give her a break instead of being ungrateful about it Amelia: you could give me a break Jac: no, you're being mean Jac: and blaming her for problems you're having Jac: like how dare she treat you? Amelia: the problem is that you used to care how I feel about things and apparently now you don't Jac: I can care without indulging pointless bitchery Jac: if you told me what was actually wrong with you, I'd listen, I'd do whatever I could to help, you know that Amelia: no, you're not listening Jac: You aren't saying anything Jac: you keep slagging Savannah off, and I counter that and then you stop Jac: what is actually going on Amelia: I've been saying the same thing this entire time, for fuck's sake Jac: When you wanna say what's actually going on with you, and think about that in a way that doesn't involve Savannah Jac: then I'm here waiting Amelia: I don't want to spend time with her, I want to spend it with you Amelia: Why can't we literally EVER? Why does she have to be involved in literally everything? Jac: We do spend time without her Jac: but we can't exclude her when she wants to be involved, she's our friend Amelia: she's not my friend Amelia: I'm trying, I am Jac: okay, she's my friend though Jac: we can spend time together, alright Amelia: okay Jac: pick a day, pick something to do, let me know Amelia: sure, put me on the spot Jac: 🙄 god, not RIGHT now Jac: but give me something more committal than that 'okay' or it won't happen Amelia: okay!! Amelia: are you happy now? Amelia: I just said how much I miss you Jac: like I'm that desperate for attention, again, rude Amelia: clearly not if I have to be the one begging you for yours Jac: oh hush Jac: I invited you to something like, literally 5 seconds ago Jac: you were the one that ruined it with your 🤕 Amelia: I didn't mean to ruin anything Jac: I'm joking Jac: I'll survive Amelia: I'm serious Amelia: and sorry, obviously Jac: it's fine, actually fine Jac: you shouldn't worry about it Amelia: if you want me to try harder, I'll try harder, alright Jac: I'd appreciate it Jac: I think she would too, and you Jac: getting along would just be easier Jac: you don't have to be like, her own personally cheerleader Amelia: I can't work miracles either Jac: you said you'd try Jac: I don't know why it's so hard for you but I can't really ask more than that Amelia: you really don't get it? Jac: No, I really don't Amelia: okay Jac: I'll leave you to it Amelia: bye again Jac: You have planning to do Amelia: you love a competition Amelia: what happens if I lose? Jac: What competition? Jac: I'm not planning anything Amelia: so it's a test instead Amelia: it's the same question Jac: we can still hang out, as you asked Jac: I'll just be bored if you pick something boring, I suppose Amelia: when have I EVER picked anything boring? Jac: 🤷 Jac: we'll see Amelia: don't 🤷 at me Amelia: you've never been bored Jac: you're so touchy 😂 Jac: I can't do anything Friday, by the way, so don't pick Friday Amelia: do you want to assign me a day? Jac: Probably Sunday Jac: I'm working after school every other day Jac: Saturday is up in the air right now Amelia: alright Jac: free time is just not a thing I have Amelia: I know, I'm not touchy about that bit Jac: I'm not going to sit here and tell you you're not boring, Amelia Jac: what kind of midlife crisis Amelia: Shut up, I don't need that from you Amelia: I'm well aware Jac: 👉😠 Amelia: you don't need to teach me sign language either Jac: you're gonna side with the 12 year old asshole on that, are you Jac: yeah that's about right mentality wise 🙄 Amelia: according to you there aren't any sides, we're all friends and everything is 🌹y Amelia: so no Jac: Jude isn't our friend, she's my sister and she's a little bitch sometimes Amelia: yeah, again, I know Amelia: Savannah's the one who needs family introductions Jac: She knows who everyone is Jac: you're being so whiny, it's just annoying now Amelia: leave me to it then, that's what you said you were going to do Jac: Yeah, and I definitely will now Jac: christ, is it any wonder I'm not electing to spend time with just you Jac: think about it Amelia: It's already all I think about Amelia: I don't want to fight with you Jac: it's not hard, Amelia Jac: as I said, Savannah doesn't devote her time to bitching about you, or anyone else Jac: nor does she walk around with a massive strop on all the time Amelia: I'm sorry Amelia: what do you want me to say? Jac: Just stop acting like this Amelia: I'm not acting like anything, that's the problem Amelia: it's how I feel Jac: You're gonna have to sort it out Jac: it's not healthy for you Jac: or good for us or anyone else Amelia: I said I'll try Jac: you've got to Jac: it's for your own best interest Amelia: yeah Jac: yeah Amelia: 👋

[gay-tanuki-aus]

 Soulmate AU

Setting: School

It is said that the first thing, whatever it may be, said to you by your soulmate, would be imprinted onto your inner forearm like a tattoo. So there may be instances where the first things said might be super vague, something like "hey" or "hi". Then there were also the super-specific ones like "I remember seeing you at the bar last night, you were gorgeous, but I didn't think to say hi- so it's funny how we're meeting here again at a supermarket in the grocery lane." Last but not least, there were ones where it was just plain confusing.

"'Hi, I was wondering what kind of program you used?' I mean, who even asks that the first time they meet?" Ally groans as she stares at her forearm. No matter how much she thought about it, it just seemed impossible. It was always said that your soulmate was who you'd spend the rest of your life with and that you'd be lucky if you ever met your soulmate in your teenage years. Not many meet their soulmate this early on, after all, the world is so big, to make sure the two people meet, would need many variables to align. This made Ally feel slightly better about not meeting her soulmate yet, even though that particular sentence still confused her. It led her to wonder what kind of circumstances she and her soulmate would meet in.

At this time, Donut was also wondering about her soulmate. 'CSP'. That's it. That's all that is written. What baffled her the most, however, wasn't the short 3 lettered word or acronym. It was the fact that she didn't know what CSP meant. It wasn't like she didn't try searching online either, but all she got was "content security policy". Content security policy?? In what world would the first thing your soulmate say to you be content security policy? Did that mean she would have to try and get a job in that? Or maybe she just had to ask her soulmate what the acronym for content security policy was. No, that'd just be plain stupid. Imagine going up to everyone and asking that. Donut laughs a little at the thought, but she can't help but wonder if that's really how she'd find her soulmate?

Thankfully for both, it didn't take long for them to meet. As fandom people, it was only normal to be producing and enjoying fanart and fanfictions. So that's exactly how, and when it happened. It was at lunch, Donut decided to go to the Steven Universe fan club. She always enjoyed walking through the club room looking at the fanart which usually lined the club room walls. As she scanned through them, a certain fanart caught her eye. Intrigued, she had tapped a nearby person to ask them who drew it, and they pointed her to a girl- Ally not far off, sitting at one of the tables scribbling away.

Walking up, Donut decides to start the conversation up different. "Hi, I was wondering what kind of program you used?"

"CSP." Ally answers without looking up. Neither had realized what just happened until a second later Ally looks up almost aggressively. This only confirmed Donut's thoughts as she let out a small gasp.

"You're my soulmate???" Donut asks almost unbelievingly.

"Ok, but why are you taller." Ally seemed conflicted. "No, I mean- un-ask me that- please!"

"WH- I can't just un-ask you something like that!" Donut almost laughs at the absurdity of the request, but also slightly disappointed at her reaction. Did that mean Ally wasn't her soulmate? Or maybe they weren't meant to be soulmates? It is often said that one would feel a spark when they met their soulmate, but none of what was supposed to happen was happening.

"Oh, right, sorry, that was rude." Ally apologizes almost embarrassed but seemingly deflated.

"Oh pfft, don't sweat it, it's good! You see, so many people can ask you the same thing- so it probably isn't even me, I mean there are so many people on earth- y'know?? I'm sure you'll find the right soulmate." Donut says starting to ramble in an attempt to cheer Ally up. "Plus, we can just be soul mates with a space in between. Yes. We will be great friends or mates in this case!"

And that's what they did. They became soul mates. Kind of like when one would say 'Oh, this is my girl friend, with a space in between the girl, and the friend.' They would talk for hours on end about their ocs, and that's when Donut realized something was wrong. Something very wrong indeed, she may or may not be catching some unwanted feelings for her soul mate. Which was wrong. So what does a normal person do when they figure out something is wrong? They deny it.

"Yeah, then there's that boundary between acquaintances and friends." Ally says thoughtfully. The two were currently sitting at lunch talking about different types of relationships.

"I have like- friendship tiers I list everyone in. As you said, there are acquaintances, then there are friends. For me, there are three levels of friends: 'just met', close friends, and best friends. Then there is the slightly different topic of girlfriends. For instance, Theo would be a close friend." Donut starts to list off a few more examples as Ally listens, "And you- y'know you're like a super great friend, but I wouldn't date you. I mean, it's not like we're actually soulmates." She adds shrugging a little.

"Yep." Ally nods and that was the conversation; their attention brought back to fangirling over their ocs. If Donut could give herself a rating on how she did, she'd say she did pretty good, except she didn't.

A few months pass and Donut realizes her feelings were back, or more accurately, never left. So she decided, if Ally was interested in someone already, she'd just be a good friend and her ultimate wingman, but if Ally wasn't, she'd ask her out or something. Or not, since she's an awkward gay.

"So do you have a crush on anyone right now-" Donut had started the conversation, she'd ask every now and then just out of curiosity, except this time, she was going to make a decision afterwards.

"Huh, I mean everyone has one right, so I guess." The two were sitting at lunch again, just talking and enjoying each other's company.

Donut took a bite of her sandwich before looking back at Ally, "Oh?? So you do have one?" Now she was curious about who caught her soul mate's eye. "Who is it?" She asked almost a little too curious.

Ally didn't think much of it, however, and just shook her head. "I'm not telling you."

"Whaaaat- why not??" Donut whines. She really wanted to know now, who the mysterious person was.

"Why do you want to know so badly??" Ally crosses her arms almost defensive, but more flustered.

"Because I'm curious!" Donut exclaims. "I mean, you'd be the same if I said 'Hey Ally, I have a crush too.'" Lunch was almost over by this time, but hopefully, she could figure out who it was before then. Maybe a little push would help.

"You do? Who is it?" It was Ally's turn to be curious. "Y'know you should totally just ask them out, if it were me, I'd just ask my crush out."

"Yeah right." Donut snorts. "Like YOU would actually go up to your crush and just ask them out. That's not something the Ally I know would do." Donut teases Ally nudging her playfully.

"Shut up!" Ally clicks her tongue. "You are underestimating this gay. I would definitely ask them out. Anyways, what's your crush like huh? Since it doesn't seem like you'd be telling me the name."

"You're right I won't," Donut says with a smug look. "And I ain't telling you none of that." She was wrong. They spent the rest of the lunchtime talking about what their crushes were like. Right before the bell rings, Donut decides to go for it. "Wait-"

"Yeah?" Ally asks turning around, she was getting ready to go to class, but she decided that could wait. "What is it?"

"Good- luck in class!" Donut says after hesitating. She was going to ask Ally out, but on second thought, she could wait until later, or just not do so at all. She's pretty good at procrastinating anyways.

"Really now, I saw you hesitate." Ally crosses her arms in front of her chest. School can wait, whatever Donut was going to say had to be way more interesting than spending an entire hour in class listening to the teacher drone on about a random subject.

"IT'S NOTHING OK, GO TO CLASS." Donut was extremely flustered by now, she didn't think Ally would think too much of it, and now it seemed like she would have to tell her what she was going to say. Ally laughs a little and that makes Donut blush even more. "D-don't laugh!"

"Well it's funny watching you struggle for words, it doesn't happen a lot." Ally snickers some more. "So what's up my soul mate?" She had an idea what this was about, but she didn't want to ruin the fun.

"You're enjoying this aren't you- Oh my god. YOU'RE SO MEAN. I'M REALLY STRUGGLING HERE. Alright. I'll tell you, but if you laugh I'm leaving." Donut grumbles as Ally nods and laughs again. "Well uh, I think you're really cute- and like full homo-"

"There you go. Congrats." Ally giggled. "But really, I wasn't expecting this."

"What do you mean?"

"Remember when we had that conversation?"

"Which conversation- we've had many." Donut frowns trying to remember what Ally could be talking about.

"You said and I quote, 'You're like a super great friend, but I wouldn't date.'"

"That was-" Donut stammers completely forgetting they had that conversation, she then lets out an audible groan attempting to cover her face. "And like-"

"Yes?"

"Do you wanna like- go out with me?"

"I don't know hmmm-" Ally pretends to think about it. "What should I do..."

"C'MON ALLY. It's a yes or no question- the ones you're good at?" She then repeats in a slightly mocking but joking tone. "'Hey Ally, cats or dogs?' 'Yes'"

"Wooooow, don't make fun of me." Ally shakes her head in mock disappointment. "So rude. And I can't believe you don't want to be soul mates with a space anymore, I'm hurt."

Donut rolls her eyes a smile tugging at her lips. "So...?"

"Well- I have to go to class right now, so I'll let you know after school ok?? I'll definitely think hard on it." Ally winks as she turns to head to her class. Donut nods and gathers her stuff as well, there wasn't much time left to get to class before she was considered tardy. But that was hardly her concern at the moment. This whole thing had gone way better than Donut thought, and she was glad that Ally didn't flat out reject her which would've been quite devastating. On second thought, she also couldn't help but think maybe they really were soulmates.

TO BE CONTINUED...

(Because I can't write that much in one sitting plus I haven't spell checked anything so-)

[punkscowardschampions]

Grace & Ava

Grace: I'm here in your postcode so like hmu if you need help Grace: after being a babysitter FOREVER kids crafts are TOTALLY my thing Ava: There's glitter on everything Ava: I'm going to have to pay to get their house professionally cleaned after this, I swear Grace: before you do I have to bring the boy over & 'accidentally' cover him Grace: cos he literally will not decide on a costume Ava: Yeah, he's crap at costumes Ava: I don't think I've even seen him in the obligatory devil horns Ava: mess up the hair, probably Grace: I mean, if my hair ever looked that good that'd be so relatable Grace: 😍😍 Ava: n'awh 😏 Ava: I'm glad someone appreciates the effort he goes to with the bleach Ava: god knows what I'm going to wear, the standard Halloween ideas aren't really applicable for a kid's birthday Grace: I love him but I hate him Grace: his eyelashes are better than mine as well Grace: right?! if his mum sees me in a lbd & cat ears she'll hate me more than she already does Grace: we could do joint costumes of a 🔪 in our backs though 🙄😂 Ava: What's she like? Grace: so rude Grace: she NEVER talks to me but the judgement is REAL 👀🔪 Grace: poor & a reformed hoe!? not in her house, honey Ava: and you didn't even homewreck her son's marriage so Ava: this is gonna be fun Grace: but I will if she tries to marry him off to some beautiful, rich, virgin or whatever Ava: I don't think they're that old school 😂 Ava: only if he managed to get a virgin pregnant Grace: don't even Grace: it's literally the one thing that would maybe score me points with her & I can't talk about it Ava: as satisfying as it'd be to throw out when she's being the most judgmental Ava: not worth it Ava: but you are gonna come, right? Ava: James wasn't sure Grace: yeah, I'm not trying to have a breakdown at her dining table soooooo Grace: of course we are, he practically begged me onto a flight to not have to go alone Grace: his sister has like 5 kids & Teddy can't deal with any of them Grace: what happens when you 👰👴 I guess Ava: Yeah Ava: I heard Ava: I just want them to have a good time Ava: James and the kids Grace: they will Grace: you've done amazing so far setting it all up Ava: there's nothing I can do to jazz up the guestlist Ava: it's bad enough that she might show but we can't plan for it Grace: Teddy thinks she will & Jay will have a meltdown, that's why he's totally dreading it Ava: I don't think she will Grace: idk but he's convinced Grace: he says she LOVES to make an entrance & bring drama Ava: Potentially Ava: I think she doesn't care enough about the kids, but that she doesn't intentionally want to hurt them Ava: just James Ava: there are better ways, after all, her parents are going to be there, they'd stop her before she could really do anything Grace: 🤞🏽 cos that does make sense Grace: & we all want you to be right, no offense to the bae Ava: If she's going to come back, she will, it'll have to be faced Ava: whether we're wearing cat ears or not Grace: yeah but like a 👶🎂 is not it Grace: even she must know that Ava: None of this is Grace: how's James? Ava: he's doing good Ava: considering Ava: it's a lot Grace: mhmm Grace: I'm avoiding Rio & Buster rn for a reason Ava: Yeah, he's mad at me Grace: 🙄🙄 Grace: don't even worry he's mad at everyone for everything Grace: except Ri, duh Grace: like you said, it's a lot Ava: well it's kind of special circumstances Ava: he thinks I've picked a side Grace: cos it's that simple Grace: he's so extra & that's coming from me Ava: Maybe it is Grace: he wishes it was Grace: but it's not you & James vs him & Ri Ava: It's not that Ava: I just Ava: I don't think I agree with what he wants Grace: you want Jay to stay where she is Ava: Yes Ava: I think he's only thinking about himself Grace: well yeah, when isn't he? Ava: It's different Ava: it's two lives he could ruin Ava: three, Mattie too Grace: he's always done exactly what he wants however many lives it could ruin Grace: literally all you can do is keep trying to get through to him Ava: Yeah, that'll work Ava: like you said, he'll do what he wants Ava: but James won't just let her go, and if it goes to court, how has he proved he's a decent father? Ava: he's not acknowledged her, the possibility Ava: it wouldn't be as cut and dry as he wants it to be Grace: nothing is ever that cut & dry but ugh try telling Buster or Ri that Ava: Exactly Ava: isn't having Venus when they shouldn't enough Grace: don't even get me started Grace: it's such a mess Ava: it isn;t fair Ava: James raised her, stepped up Ava: had to deal with Chloe Ava: no one has the right to take her away now Grace: exactly Grace: they love each other Grace: you can't just break that bond like it doesn't exist Ava: for one that doesn't Ava: I don't want to pick sides, I love him, he's my brother Ava: but I can't say I'm okay with it right now, when I'm not Grace: he's being a selfish idiot rn though, you can say it to me, babes Grace: she's got a whole family here Ava: I know it's fucked, that Chloe told him he wasn't the dad Ava: but I can't get over that she told him he was Ava: you don't just Ava: why did he trust her the second time and not the first Ava: how could that be for anything but selfish reasons Grace: it's literally cos he wanted to Grace: & he's totally fixated on the wrong things, what does blood matter anyway? Grace: Billie's my sister not any one of the kids my dad had scattered across Dublin Ava: Maybe Rio said she'd leave him? Ava: but still, then he made his choice Ava: ugh Ava: I hate it Grace: me too Grace: everything is so Grace: fucked Grace: always Ava: how was your birthday anyway Ava: did you and Teddy do something nice? Grace: he did spoil me cos he knows my birthday is the literal worst & I tried not to brag TOO hard on socials Ava: Good Ava: you're only 16 once Grace: it's so weird Grace: being her age Ava: I thought about that Ava: on her birthday Ava: that she'd have only been 20 Ava: it seems so long ago, somehow Grace: like unless I die too now, I'm gonna be older than her Ava: they could take Libi if they want another child so bad Ava: alright, that was bitchy but nan and granddad won't be around forever either, I know they're not old old but Grace: they tried that already, so not really that bitchy Grace: god, she looks so much like her I actually can't breathe sometimes Ava: It's crazy Ava: and how big she is already Grace: did you see the 🎃 patch pics? It's wild, she's even dressed like Edie as a kid Grace: calm down nan Ava: I know Ava: I wish she had to chance to know her Ava: and her dad, of course Grace: yeah, I wish I'd known her better & I had way longer than Libi Ava: Like Billie's mum Ava: it's just sad Grace: idk maybe you get to 90 & you're still like I wish....whatever Grace: but like you said, it's unfair & I hate it Ava: It's never going to be something you can make peace with Ava: well, I don't think Ava: her life wasn't finished, it had only just started Grace: I don't think I wanna make peace with it anyway, it's not okay & none of us should just be okay with it Grace: but I can't cry rn so Ava: Me either Ava: I have too many sandwiches to make Grace: are you at home? I'll come over Ava: I'm at his but you can come over Ava: help me load up the car Grace: 👌🏽 omw Ava: You can have a cake pop early Ava: don't tell Jay Grace: 😂🤫 Ava: or more aptly, don't tell James she's already conned me out of two Grace: he'll definitely be able to tell when she's climbing the walls Grace: unless you've made a really convincing 🕷 costume too Ava: I know, I know Ava: it's bad Ava: but I don't think a little bit of excitement would actually hurt right now Ava: she's got to carry it, it's not like Mattie really has much of a clue what's going on yet Grace: & you don't want her feeling jealous & left out that you threw her baby sister such a great party Grace: that's the worst Ava: Yeah, she had hers in the Summer and it wasn't the best time, obviously Ava: I've tried to make sure she feels involved anyway Grace: Teddy can't believe how good you are with her, speaking of jealousy 😂 Ava: Kids pick up on your awkwardness, don't they Ava: like animals Ava: he just needs to fake it 'til he makes it Grace: mhmmm Grace: I told him it'll get easier the more time he spends with both of them, but you know what he's like Ava: Yeah Ava: at least no one is going to accuse him of trying to be their mother 🙄 Grace: 🤞🏽 she won't say it again in front of everyone 🥳🎁 Grace: awkward Ava: it's so patronizing Ava: it's not as if Chloe was a massive help Ava: he's done it himself this whole time, basically Ava: they don't need a mum Grace: she was literally the opposite of helpful Ava: at best she looked after them in the loosest sense of the word when he was at uni or work Ava: but 9/10 they'd end up with her parents so it wasn't as if she could be relied on Grace: are her parents coming? Ava: yeah Ava: I don't think they can even believe that she's done this Ava: gone Ava: I've met them a few times, dropping or picking the girls up, they're nice enough Grace: who'd wanna believe that about their family tbh Grace: but it's good that they're sticking around even though they probably wanna die if they've always been there Grace: the girls need that normality rn Ava: I'm sure they feel awful Ava: though James' family are blaming no one but him so they don't need to worry about judgment Grace: ugh I would kill Teddy if he sided with them Ava: I don't know if James knows he doesn't Grace: really? Grace: 🙄 boys never talk Grace: I'll talk to him, he knows how to show it even if he doesn't wanna say it Grace: they can go to the pub or whatever Ava: Yeah, I like, try not to comment or get involved Ava: know what it's like to have family drama Ava: but that's the feeling I've got anyway, it couldn't hurt them Grace: rich people need a bigger shove to open up, no offence Ava: 😂 it's a class issue, really Grace: in his family there's that whole stiff upper lip thing that I thought was totally not even a thing for the past however many centuries Grace: it's crazy, okay Ava: I know Grace: thank god he's the youngest or his mum would be coming at me to produce an heir Ava: you aren't good enough stock, obvs Ava: 🙄🙄 Grace: & she's only basing that off my 2 jobs & sexual history Grace: if she knew I was actually infertile she'd be giving him constant sti checks & changing the locks Grace: 😱😱 Ava: If you aren't titled and can't trace your family back to the dark ages, then they don't wanna know 🤷 Grace: so weird Ava: just how they are Ava: posh people Grace: yeah, it's wild, you should've seen the look I got when I said you were making sandwiches Grace: the boy does nothing for himself I swear Ava: he doesn't Ava: I've known him long enough Grace: Janis hated him on sight so at least you do actually know him Ava: doesn't really surprise me Grace: she only has 😍 for working class baristas so Ava: all my family hate James so you're doing better than me Grace: they just hate him for you, I've been there every other time Grace: they'll have to get over it & used to him eventually Ava: none of yours were married with two kids Ava: but still, yeah, they will Ava: or they won't, it's not like it's illegal so they can't do anything Grace: he's divorced now & literally deserves to be happy Ava: his happiness isn't their top priority Grace: yours should be though Ava: it is Ava: in that they think it's a mistake and I'll regret it Grace: if it is it's your mistake to make & regret to live with Grace: I've got 100000s Grace: 🤷 Ava: I can see their point, and what they're trying to do, without agreeing with it Ava: because I'm not as immature as they wanna say so Ava: it is what it is Grace: 👏🏽 Ava: I've got to do some homework, when you get here Ava: you don't mind do you Grace: it's fine Ava: it's due monday and I've barely started Grace: as long as Teddy doesn't ignore me for homework too Ava: awh, how could he Grace: idk maybe you're a better influence than me Ava: i'm not going to turn the party into a study sesh, don't worry Grace: 😂 I didn't bring any homework so I'm not worried Grace: I could probably cope with Jay's but I won't be telling her Ava: ✌ Ava: I highly doubt she'll wanna do hers either Grace: she can help me get him in the 🥳🎁🕺🎊 mood then Ava: 🤞 Grace: 🙏🏽

[punkscowardschampions]

Cosmo & Amber

Amber: [okay so the clerb was a whole mood ™ before his ⚽ mates make it awkward and she goes off with some other lad, but we wanna say anything happened between them before then or is it just a VIBE] Cosmo: [I say a VIBE] Amber: [if you wanted you could do your own #necklaceapology here unless you wanna say that already happened] Cosmo: [probably not now 'cos of the leaving with someone else element of it all, even though he deffo changed and blanked her basically, 'cos you know] Amber: [ah the joys] Cosmo: [fun times all 'round] Cosmo: get home safe? Amber: I will when he takes me home Amber: how are you feeling? Cosmo: fantastic Amber: 9 lives Cosmo: no need to compare numbers Amber: did you have a game today? Cosmo: friendly Amber: and was it? Cosmo: you wanna know if I got carded? Amber: and if you scored or helped someone else to Amber: I want to know everything that happened Cosmo: We lost Amber: and you don't want to talk about it or we can? Cosmo: we've had enough of an ear-bashing off the management but if you reckon you've got any suggestions feel free Amber: why do you think I'd be coming from a place of 😠? Cosmo: losing = bad Amber: not if it means you win next time Amber: everything's a learning experience when your dad's a teacher Cosmo: I was just off my game Cosmo: it's not going to happen again Amber: I do remember saying that maybe Saturday wasn't the best night to take my clubbing 🍒 Cosmo: you wanted to go, you got what you wanted Amber: do you want to talk about it? Cosmo: about what, exactly Amber: that dig which implies you didn't get what you wanted Cosmo: There's no dig, I lost, that's not what I wanted Cosmo: I don't need you coming in after the fact with an 'I told you so' Cosmo: you saw the rest of my team out, it's a weekly occurrence Amber: then don't put the blame onto me Cosmo: where'd I say that Amber: I wanted to go, it's my fault Cosmo: You didn't force me to take you Cosmo: you couldn't Amber: I know, so I don't appreciate the tone Cosmo: I'm so sorry Amber: I'm sorry you lost Cosmo: sure you are Amber: it's genuine, unlike yours Cosmo: I'm not apologising to you, what the fuck have I done but take you out Cosmo: and you clearly had a good time Amber: you could apologise for how you acted last night or how you are now Amber: but I won't wait for either Cosmo: I weren't acting Amber: not before your friends got there Amber: only after Cosmo: other way 'round Cosmo: that's who I am Amber: why did you invite me out if you don't want to be seen with me? Cosmo: it's not that Cosmo: I knew they weren't your people, you wouldn't have enjoyed hanging with them Amber: you don't get to make those kind of decisions for me Cosmo: I wasn't going to let them be dicks to you Amber: neither would I Amber: I can defend my own honour, thanks Cosmo: Well if I can, then I'm going to, simple as Cosmo: it didn't need to be a thing Amber: no, if you can keep me separate from them, you're going to Amber: that's what you mean Cosmo: I told you, you're not my type of person, I'm not yours Cosmo: that includes my friends Amber: you spelled out to me in great detail how I don't fit into your life the way it is, so why did you invite me out?! Amber: you made it into a thing Cosmo: you wanted to Amber: I wanted to, the way you said it would be, not THAT Cosmo: they usually go [different club] Amber: we could've left, I'd have gone to a different club with you Cosmo: wasn't my plan either Cosmo: you would? Amber: of course, I would've, I meant everything I said about not adding to the pressure that you're under Amber: but that doesn't mean I'm going to make it easy for you to smuggle me into dark corners like it's such a shameful secret that we're friends Amber: you don't get to treat me however you want because your life is hard Cosmo: I know it's fucked up Cosmo: and yeah, it saves me hassle, not going to deny it, but I don't wanna hear the shit they'd have to say about you, any more than I'd want you to hear it Amber: address it and you wouldn't have to hear it again, about any girl Amber: stop giving them a free pass to say things like that Cosmo: yeah, it's that easy Amber: It's not easy, nor is it easy being a girl getting treated like an object Cosmo: this is my career we're talking about Cosmo: I make their lives hard, they make mine hard for me right back Cosmo: I'd be off the team before I knew it Cosmo: it's not like they're rapists or anything crazy Amber: you've got better excuses than your brother, I'll give you that Cosmo: don't compare us Amber: why not? it's a variation of the same behaviour and I'm tired of it Cosmo: I'm fuck all like my brother Amber: at least you're sorry Cosmo: What's he done to you now? Amber: he hasn't done anything to me and this conversation isn't about him anyway Cosmo: Amber Cosmo: you can tell me Amber: you already know what he's like, I don't need to Cosmo: Sure, he's a little prick Cosmo: but why are you upset with him right now Amber: because there are girls there that are more vulnerable than me and the way you're acting like you need to stand up for me against your friends is what they need and aren't getting Amber: it was brought to my attention and I should've realised before Cosmo: what does that mean though Amber: I need to do something to help, I don't know Cosmo: you mean he's like hurt someone Amber: not physically, don't worry Cosmo: okay, good Cosmo: it sounded like you meant he'd like Cosmo: assaulted someone Amber: I'm sorry, no, it's not that Amber: like your friends, I'm sure he wouldn't Cosmo: don't girls have a whole code Cosmo: put the word out about him being whatever type of dick he's being, then you won't have to feel bad, it'll be on him and them Amber: I have Cosmo: there you go then Cosmo: they'll have the info to make their own decisions now Cosmo: opposed to whatever bullshit he might come out with Amber: I don't want to talk about Dash Cosmo: okay Amber: was your dad at your game? Cosmo: no, he was doing something with his girlfriend's family Cosmo: so I'll have to tell him now, that we lost Amber: how upset is he going to be? Cosmo: when he realizes why Cosmo: quite a bit Amber: you could lie, I won't sneak in through his window and tell him Cosmo: he'll see Cosmo: or talk to the managers Cosmo: I can maybe think of something that makes it sound better but he isn't big on excuses so Amber: they don't know why, do they? unless they were also at the club which is a bit hypocritical and strange Amber: but I was asking to see if you wanna do a meditation or something with me before you tell him Amber: this boy doesn't have a yoga mat, I could improvise though Cosmo: One of the lads practically sprayed the pitch Cosmo: weren't me but it's a sort of if one of us is in shit then we all are Cosmo: but no one else's dad will make 'em do extra training on top of the extra training Cosmo: it's fine, just not ideal Cosmo: I think you should leave, though Amber: why do you think I should leave? Cosmo: you don't even know who he is Amber: he's making brunch and I have manners Cosmo: if you had manners you wouldn't be using me for entertainment whilst you wait Amber: I'm not Amber: I'm making sure you're okay because I haven't seen or heard from you since last night happened the way it did Cosmo: You don't need to check up on me Cosmo: go enjoy your brunch Amber: you didn't need to either but you started this conversation to do exactly that Cosmo: I had no idea you were having brunch Amber: relax, 9, it isn't candlelit Amber: he's on his phone too Amber: just because I sleep outside doesn't mean I was born in a barn Cosmo: Does he know how old you are Amber: yes, I don't seduce men via deception Cosmo: how old is this man then Amber: 18, he's a boy really Cosmo: 🙄 Amber: what? Cosmo: bit weird on his part Amber: where did you meet all your stalkers and girlfriends? Cosmo: I've not gone out with an 18 year old Amber: you're behaving like I said 28 Amber: if I'd met him at school, it wouldn't even be an issue Cosmo: it'd still be weird Cosmo: you're a kid Amber: ⭐ Cosmo: Whatever Amber: it's not, stop trying to make me feel bad about this Cosmo: I'm not, I'm saying he's weird Amber: do you know him? Amber: because after your reluctance to let your friends anywhere near me, I don't think you're in any position to judge Cosmo: he's 18, you told him you were 15 Cosmo: speaks for itself Amber: boy, you're in the wrong career 👮 Amber: I'm fine thanks, officer Cosmo: 'cos sound lads can never get girls their own age Cosmo: it isn't my fault if you feel bad Amber: yes it is because last night is a weekly occurrence for you and it you know it wasn't for me Amber: so you don't get to tell me how I can or can't decide to make the best of something Cosmo: Then you should listen to me and go home Cosmo: for fuck's sake Amber: I can't walk home from here in this outfit, it's too far Amber: you think he's weird that'd be nothing on what I'd get from actual grown men if I do Cosmo: you can't make him give you money for a cab? Amber: I don't want to ask, because if he says no then you're right, and I don't want you to be right Cosmo: I'll ping you some now alright Cosmo: then we don't have to find out Amber: don't, I haven't got any way to pay you back Amber: you've spelled out your feelings about 🍏🍊🐓 Cosmo: would you rather chance it and get a lift back from someone you don't even want to ask about the taxi Cosmo: how else are you going to do it, don't be stupid Amber: 😠 okay Amber: but I'm staying angry at you Cosmo: do what you like, I don't care about the money or paying you to be nice Amber: what do you care about? I'll do something that'll benefit that Cosmo: just get home unmurdered, yeah Cosmo: that works for me Amber: are you home? I could make you brunch Cosmo: you just want two brunches Amber: yes, but I also want you to have one Cosmo: What are you going to make? Amber: after extensive research, a lot of footballers are vegan, are you? Cosmo: for the most part Cosmo: I eat fish sometimes Amber: oily fish is good for ⚽ that was part of the research and 🍣📸 is apparently part of the lifestyle Amber: but avocado toast with blueberry, banana and chia seed pancakes won't get me voted out of the commune Cosmo: alright nerd Cosmo: is he a footballer or what? Amber: no, he goes to some catholic school, I don't know it Cosmo: definite weirdo then Cosmo: nah, thanks though Cosmo: sounds good Amber: his parents house is pretty close to yours so don't ruin your appetite with snacks Cosmo: I don't eat snacks Cosmo: not even to piss you off Amber: never?! Amber: What about 🍏 🍎 🍐 🍊 🍋 🍌 🍉 🍇 🍓 🍈 🍒 🍑 🥭 🍍 🥥 🥝 ? Amber: or 🥜? Cosmo: if I was dying but nah Cosmo: little and often Amber: I'm relieved you're not dying Amber: it sounds like you and your friends partied harder than I did after we separated Cosmo: They did anyway Amber: you didn't? Cosmo: I never get as fucked up as them Amber: because you don't want to or because you're 💪🏽? Cosmo: I don't wanna be the one making us lose Cosmo: or losing my spot on the team Amber: it stops being fun Amber: if I make a decision I'd like to know that it wasn't my blood alcohol level that really did Cosmo: yeah Cosmo: think a lot of people do the opposite for the excuse Amber: not to side with your dad before I've even met him but I don't love excuses either Cosmo: it's a good rule, if a little tough Amber: I did think you were saying that was why you weren't as focused though Cosmo: can be, if you like Amber: but what's the answer? Cosmo: nosy Amber: secretive Cosmo: it doesn't matter does it Amber: it must matter to you if it's why you lost Amber: but it doesn't matter if you don't want to tell me, I'm still making brunch Amber: [show up and knock 9 times again gal] Cosmo: [shooketh lowkey like didn't think you were that close, also so many knocks, saying Indie is home so being over your shoulder like it's fine I know who it is as you open the door] Amber: [we know the vibe she's making herself at home immediately because she's that bitch, saying hi to his mum and asking her if she wants brunch too or just tea or coffee all the while in last night's extra af club lewk because awkwardness doesn't exist for her and we're getting in that kitchen and putting on music and dancing and cooking like we live here] Cosmo: [just introducing her because we're freaking out but then you're like, idk what to even say so you're calling her 'Dash's friend' which frankly makes this stranger though I guess explainable lol, lowkey not even looking at her because we cannot for all the reasons] Amber: [that hurt her heart because boy I'm literally making you brunch, we're friends, but we're not correcting that sentence, we're just chatting to his mum and doing all the things like he's lowkey not there] Cosmo: [oh boy, so lowkey rude truly on accident because you don't want the conversation I highly doubt your mum would start rn like OOOOOOOOH lol, gonna make your dad call you like he's found out so go outside and promise all the shit you're gonna do to stay on top] Amber: [Indie would never do you like that boy but we know where you're coming from and Amber isn't coming for your life rn either even if she doesn't understand because she literally tells her parents everything] Cosmo: [come in in a bit visibly more stressed even though you already were/always are, poor boy[ Amber: [at least the food would probably be ready by then because none of the things she was making would take that long and I assume his dad was going off for a while so she can just put the food in front of him] Cosmo: [look like ? as if you literally didn't compute she was really doing it until it's fully in front of you like oh 'thank you' also piss off now Indie/Billie sorry bye] Amber: [take your coffee and go gal before he has a breakdown please, the bae who isn't the bae needs to smile at him in a really genuine and adorable way because he remembered his manners] Cosmo: [smiling back but we're just distracted by all things so it's not as real as it can be though we trying 'what did you have for your first brunch?'] Amber: ['oatmeal' not said in a shady way but it's just reinforcing that the boy wasn't bringing his A game here] Cosmo: [just raising a brow and trying not to smile too smugly 'glad you put more effort in'] Amber: [😠 lowkey because he doesn't get to be smug like at least that boy made something he hasn't even made her a drink like excuse you 'I'm glad you like it'] Cosmo: [nudging her under the table with his foot like what] Amber: [a look like you know what] Cosmo: ['you want more oatmeal?' doing a bad mimic of her voice] Amber: [hitting him on the arm like stop, even if she has to lean across the table to do it] Cosmo: ['what?' well done for saying it] Amber: ['I like oatmeal more than you right now' because we're cross] Cosmo: ['hey' and reaching across the table to do the squeeze-of-the-hand-apology and then gesturing at her plate like let's just eat] Amber: [when he literally hasn't touched her before this so we're dying but eating like it's chill] Cosmo: ['this is a better way to do the footballer diet than I have been' for a compliment moment 'cos like everything we're being overly regimented duh] Amber: [leaves the pancake recipe in the chat for him because quick and easy tbh] Cosmo: 👍 Cosmo: [then doing it IRL like a nerd] Amber: 🤓 Amber: [but we're amused] Cosmo: that's you Cosmo: I'm evil, I remember Cosmo: [jokey 😒 'cos wants to be a Gryffindor 'good guy'] Amber: no, you're brave but not stupid Amber: [goes on a little slytherin pride style rant like this is how great you are] Cosmo: [just like 'say how you really feel about me' like it's all bants but listening to all her nerding out] Amber: ['I feel like you'd be a good friend to have' because we haven't forgotten what he said earlier] Cosmo: [penny dropping moment 'cos boys are that oblivious facts lol, shrugging like come on but clearly awkward 'what should I have said? after last night-' like are you even my friend now] Amber: ['You said what you were comfortable with' again not said in a shady way, just like yet again I'm not trying to make your life hard boy 'but after last night, if I were you, I'd want to pacify me'] Cosmo: ['how would you suggest I do that?' saucy saucy] Amber: ['I would suggest it comes from you, to be like, actually sincere'] Cosmo: [🤔 then being like hold up and go get that necklace honeyyy] Amber: [we're immediately putting that on even though it doesn't go with this outfit] Cosmo: [nodding our approval 'cos not risking saying anything rn] Amber: ['it's not a good luck charm, right?' like I'm not getting blamed if you lose again] Cosmo: [shakes his head 'if you start doing that kind of thing, can get a bit OCD, like'] Amber: [playing with this necklace casually 'maybe it will be for me' cos we're happy now that he's being nice] Cosmo: ['what do you need luck for?' actual question not being rude lol] Amber: ['next time you take me clubbing' we got bants] Cosmo: [just like alright, alright 'it was me who ended up having a shit night anyway'] Amber: [doing the hand squeeze apology back to him] Cosmo: [pulling away, not too dramatically 'cos not an ew moment, but clearly not her fault so like nah girl] Amber: [getting up to wash up because even though they've 100% got a dishwasher she wouldn't have ever lived anywhere that does cos hippie life so it wouldn't occur to her honestly] Cosmo: [finding a tea towel like I'll dry] Amber: [how coupley of you, love that, just grooving while we do this because of course] Cosmo: [gonna lowkey check you out 'you didn't do enough dancing...we'll have to go again, actually'] Amber: [just giving a horrified look like they're no such thing as enough dancing thank you but then loling 'we could do a friday night instead, if that works better for you'] Cosmo: ['alright' then pausing 'probably not for a while' 'cos we have all this extra training to do and people to appease so we gon' be busy] Amber: ['okay' genuine because she will wait and that's the tea, then I'm gonna take the bathtub moment from the OG convo we did because #mood and it actually works better now cos she does need to bathe lol so I'm saying she goes upstairs, making herself at home again obvs and calls 'bring me tea' over her shoulder as she goes like the queen she is] Cosmo: [it does work better and is needed so go ahead, though he is truly confused where she is going and why but like okay, pop off at this point] Amber: [excuse us Indie because you're assumedly still here lol] Cosmo: how do you take your tea Cosmo: we don't have green Amber: I don't like green tea, don't worry Amber: but I still take black tea that way, no milk Amber: what colour is your sugar? Cosmo: I think we might have some 🤎 in the baking shit if it's a dealbreaker Amber: if there is, I'll have some but it's not Amber: we run out of everything at home Cosmo: I'll be amazed if we have any left but 🤞🙏 Amber: at least you have hot water Cosmo: that's what you're doing Amber: 🛀🏽🧜🏽 Cosmo: don't get in yet Amber: why? Cosmo: your tea will get cold Amber: you're supposed to bring it to me, boy Cosmo: how am I meant to Cosmo: leave it at the door? Cosmo: close my eyes? Amber: I won't be able to reach it if you leave it there, and you don't need to be embarrassed Cosmo: I'm not embarrassed Amber: fine, neither of us will get accidentally scolded by hot tea that you're carrying around with your eyes closed then Cosmo: not clumsy, for one, do more research nerd Amber: oh, are you carrying it with your feet? I didn't realise, sorry Cosmo: you reckon all my skill is in my feet only? Amber: and your head, if footballers are still allowed to do that? Amber: but you're not a goalkeeper Cosmo: yeah, headers are valid Cosmo: rest assured, I can still get a full mug to you Amber: they are banned for children because the risk of brain damage is valid too, according to my research Amber: chronic traumatic encephalopathy Cosmo: big words Cosmo: all I know is rugby is rougher Cosmo: or I could be a boxer, so Amber: it also happens to boxers, I don't know about rugby players Cosmo: anything where you're getting bashed about the head too much Cosmo: most only do it when necessary but it's some people's 'thing' to assist or score rather than lose it in the scrabble of feet Amber: that makes sense, but we've digressed here away from the debate of how good you are, or aren't, with your hands Cosmo: what you mean is, we've digressed away from you getting your tea in a prompt manner Cosmo: diva Amber: yes and yes Cosmo: 😏 Cosmo: it's brewing Amber: thanks Cosmo: you can take back what you said about my lack of skills later, like Amber: if you have foraging skills for sugar, maybe I will Cosmo: see if you taste the difference Amber: now you're doubting my skills? I guess I deserve that Cosmo: your taste? Cosmo: happened last night tbh Amber: 😠 Cosmo: come on Cosmo: I could've said when we met Cosmo: I was being well nice Amber: if you'd said it when we met I'd have agreed with you Cosmo: I suppose anything's a step up Amber: the sex absolutely was Cosmo: thrilled for you Amber: there's still plenty left for you to make fun of him, and me, about Cosmo: I'd rather not Amber: I'd rather you didn't either but it hasn't stopped you so far Cosmo: just stop talking then Amber: talking to me like that isn't going to provoke me into giving you the silent treatment Cosmo: [just bring this tea up moodily] Amber: [taking it and saying thanks again as if you're just at the kitchen table or whatever instead of naked and chilling in this bath lol] Cosmo: [we are not looking and just shrugging like whatever idc] Amber: [splashing him obvs like stop being rude] Cosmo: [when you can't even be mad like your ma uses this bathroom 'cos clearly not so you're just scowling but not 👀 her] Amber: [just smelling everything that's on the side of this bath because you don't want to use anything that's Dash's] Cosmo: [doing our hair in the mirror as if we need] Amber: ['are you always like this when a girl wants to spend time with you?' do we mean rude or checking yourself out instead of her or both tbh] Cosmo: [big sigh and rubbing our temples 'you wanted a bath'] Amber: ['and you'd also rather I didn't do that?'] Cosmo: ['do you not think this is weird?'] Amber: ['You're making it bizarre now' because genuinely doesn't think it's weird obviously or she wouldn't do it] Cosmo: [scoffs like oh yeah, me] Amber: [splashing him bigger than before] Cosmo: [turning 'round like STOP but then you're just looking at her the most intense] Amber: [obviously looking back like please just say something or do something before we both die lol] Cosmo: [when you shake your head microscopically to say you can't 'cos you wanna so bad obvs] Amber: [when you're not even doing the pout for a pisstake it just happens naturally because likewise, soz for drawing even more attention to those lips like] Cosmo: [the noise you're barely holding back here 'you know we can't'] Amber: ['I know we could' because it would be so easy rn to let this happen and they both know it lbr and I can only imagine how her voice sounds rn, soz again] Cosmo: [shaking your head more vigorously to snap yourself outta it 'cos you must, and throwing a new towel down for her like there you go and making your exit] Amber: [doing such a cinematic and dramatic lay down in the water moment because ffs] Cosmo: [lord knows what you're gonna do with yourself boy] Amber: [she should literally leave right now immediately but we in this bath now so blatantly getting clean first, a lot quicker than she would of but still the idea makes me lol] Cosmo: [lmao, just glad you no doubt have a gym sesh or something now so get that frustration out but lord] Amber: [just gotta awkwardly leave here in that club lewk because we can't ask him for an outfit rn, oh gal] Cosmo: [ah the awks awks awks] Amber: [such fun, this is why I love you two, he cockblocks himself so we don't have to] Cosmo: [truly but also hate it lol] Amber: [we 100% need to give him a WAG girlfriend like remember when Joe had that cringey Blake Lively one back in the day] Cosmo: [oh lord yes] Amber: [I'm trying to think who looks like a WAG so we can give her a face for the lols] Cosmo: [I was thinking a character like Ruby from sex education, she's the only one I can think of rn, but that's a WAG-ish vibe] Amber: [I vibe that and I also have an idea how he could meet her like what if she's to do with the dad's girlfriend like when people are really extra about their goddaughters pretending like they are fam when they're for real not even] Cosmo: [that's a fat mood, just using your godmother to get a mans lowkey lol] Amber: [anyways that's for another convo, you can post this if you like]

[punkscowardschampions]

Buster & Rio

Buster: You up yet? Rio: 😴 Rio: Just about Buster: [sends her loads of pics from Nancy's camera roll cos my idea is she's still asleep and he stole her camera to look through] Rio: She got loads of good ones Rio: so sneaky with that 📸 Buster: And your good side Buster: Even after all those drinks Rio: All my sides are good 😘 Rio: I can handle my drink too, tah Buster: You did alright Rio: Shut up that you drank any more or was any less wobbly, like Buster: I did drink more though Buster: I know 'cause I was the one stealing 'em Rio: Well then that's just bad manners Rio: should be ashamed of yourself, McKenna Buster: Shame's for pussies Buster: I did what I did and I don't feel bad Rio: 😏 Rio: could at least pretend you're a little bit sorry for short changing me Buster: You obviously weren't if a second ago you were trying to argue that you drank as much as me Buster: You had a good night and you didn't miss out if that's what you reckon, like Rio: Whatever Rio: it was fun Buster: Yeah Rio: All things considered Rio: no one else was concerned about handling their drink, obvs Buster: Never are Rio: Not a party 'til someone makes a tit of themselves Buster: Who you gonna give the first prize too though? Rio: 🤔 Rio: be rude not to give it to birthday boy Buster: Too late to write it in his card but he can still have it Rio: Just what he wanted Rio: better than a 10 years over midlife crisis Buster: Mid life depends when you die Rio: You're giving him 100? Buster: 'Course Rio: Pop that in the card Rio: cute Buster: Stop calling me cute Rio: It's not you it's what you said Buster: 😏 Buster: I said it so it's me Rio: Fine then 🤐 Buster: Nice try Rio: 🙄 Buster: You gonna sulk for long 'cause I'm bored of being the only one awake here Rio: You gonna be nice to me Buster: If you're gonna take me somewhere good Rio: I'M not gonna do you dirty Rio: I have manners Buster: That's not really selling it to me, babe Buster: Make it sound fun, yeah? Rio: I don't need to sell it Rio: you're bored Buster: Come on Rio: You come on Rio: when have I ever let you down Buster: Do you want me to be nice or do you want me to answer that? Rio: I'm ignoring you Rio: be ready, I'll come to yours Buster: I am ready Buster: Not a fucking amateur Rio: You're gonna need to prove that Buster: How? Rio: If you're asking, then you definitely are an amateur Rio: You've got time to work something out Rio: gotta do breakfast Buster: I was doing manners Rio: What happened to fun? Buster: Cheers for admitting I'm right and you can't be polite and not boring Rio: You can't Rio: it doesn't suit you Buster: It don't suit you either Rio: Why not Buster: You know why not Buster: I'm not feeding you compliments for breakfast Rio: Now THAT is boring Rio: and mean Rio: 👎 Buster: You've got time to work for 'em Buster: Like I said, I'm no amateur, babe Rio: Does Nance wanna come? Buster: I don't know Buster: Do you want me to wake her up? Rio: Up to you Rio: I don't mind Buster: Will she wanna go? Wherever it is you're taking me Rio: Probably not Rio: I'll see if one of my 'rents will take them imaginosity or something Buster: Alright Rio: She'll like that more Buster: Yeah Buster: Junior'll probably be happier if she don't fuck off with us for ages as well Rio: Right, exactly Rio: they can be cute nerds Buster: They were 🤓s last night Rio: They missed each other Buster: Don't encourage 'em Rio: Don't be mean Rio: at least she was smiling, right Buster: I'll give you that Rio: Shame they can't hang more often Buster: It's not like she'll have to struggle to write him a letter like when granddad was a kid Rio: 😂 okay he's not that old Rio: still Rio: he's so shy Rio: be nice if he had someone Buster: Don't Buster: She better make friends like the few she had in Cambs Rio: What do you mean, don't Rio: I can't adopt her, calm down, like Buster: I mean don't make me think about how she might not Buster: All the shit that can go wrong Rio: She'll be alright Rio: she'll have the time to Buster: 'Course Rio: at least you're going at the start Rio: midway through is the worst Buster: Yeah, fuck that Rio: what are you wearing Rio: need to see if its sensible Buster: [selfie because of course he would] Rio: 👍 Buster: Show me yours Rio: Steady Rio: [but does 'cos was just a shameless excuse, like what you doing] Buster: I've figured it out Rio: You what Buster: I know where we're going Buster: But don't worry I'll look surprised when we get there Rio: How Rio: 🤔 Buster: Just that good Rio: Bollocks Rio: such a bullshitter Buster: Where did your manners go? Rio: If you're gonna lie, then all bets are off, like Buster: Sounds fun Rio: If that's how you want it Buster: How do you want it? Rio: Do you care? Buster: I asked, didn't I? Rio: Can play 20 questions later Buster: Yeah Buster: Can do whatever we want Rio: 🤞 Rio: That's how I want it Buster: Me too Rio: If anyone asks we're just going park yeah Buster: Nobody's gonna ask me Buster: Don't worry Rio: Get it Rio: even if they were up, already got the headache and mouth too dry to say much Buster: I don't wanna talk about them Rio: Okay Rio: got it Buster: The state of 'em last night was embarrassing Rio: Everyone was though Rio: and you know, no one's judging Buster: Yeah, everyone was but you still know what I mean Rio: yeah Rio: I'll make you forget about it Rio: you'll see Buster: If anyone can Rio: You can trust me Buster: I know Rio: Not just a useless 👸 waiting to be saved Buster: I know Rio: though having woodland creature pals or mice to do chores would be well helpful rn Buster: If you'd have said last night we could've caught some out by the bins Buster: Still, I'll see what I can do Rio: Could catch a lot out by those bins Rio: minging Buster: 'Course I'd risk it for you though 👸 Rio: My hero Rio: 😍🙄 Buster: You'd have to trust me too Rio: You know I do Buster: Probably not one of your better ideas Buster: But yeah Rio: You're the one who's anti being wrong Rio: I'll survive Buster: Good Rio: and how do you know trusting me ain't a bad one for you Buster: 'Cause I know you Rio: You're not that bad Rio: I told you, not scared of you Buster: And I told you, don't be Rio: I'm not Rio: you're Buster: Don't tell me Buster: I don't wanna hear what you think of me Rio: Are you scared? Buster: I'm not scared of anything Buster: Ever Rio: Then why don't you wanna hear Buster: 'Cause then I'll know Buster: Like it or not Rio: I don't know what I was going to say Rio: so you're safe Buster: You mean you're safe Rio: If you say so Buster: You are Buster: From whatever you might have said and no take backs Buster: I was never in any danger Rio: That'd be why you stopped me Rio: for my own sake Buster: 🤴 Rio: 🤖 Buster: If you say so Rio: mhm Buster: Come out with it then Rio: Why should I now Buster: You've got shit you're holding back Buster: Why should you? Rio: that's a joke Buster: Say it Rio: I'm on my way Buster: All the more reason Buster: You keep saying you ain't scared of me Buster: Prove you're not Rio: Not you I'm worried about Buster: Why are you worried at all? Rio: Don't be thick Buster: Don't say one thing and do another Rio: What? Buster: Tell me Rio: Why have you done a compete 180 Buster: I ain't done anything Rio: You said don't tell me, so I'm not Buster: And you didn't drop it when I said that Buster: So finish what you started Rio: you first Buster: Girls always go first Buster: I've got no manners and I know it Rio: No balls Rio: don't pussy out Buster: Fuck you Rio: Told you Rio: we never last long Buster: 'Cause you know all these languages and you still can't say fuck all to me Rio: because there ain't no language in the world where what I wanna say is fucking okay Rio: okay Buster: Fuck this world then Buster: We made our own when we were little anyway Rio: We aren't little anymore Rio: we can't just pretend we don't know better Buster: We can do whatever we want Buster: We both agreed to that before I even got here Rio: It's different when you're here Rio: harder when we're actually together Buster: So turn around Buster: Don't be coming to my door Rio: No Rio: come on, we can do what we've been doing Rio: don't need to spoil it Buster: You just said we can't Buster: Lucky if we last the day Rio: Of course we can Rio: we just need to leave it alone Buster: Fine Rio: It can be Rio: Please Rio: we can still have fun Buster: Fuck it Buster: You're on your way Rio: It would be rude to turn me away Rio: unbelievably bad manners Rio: and I could just be awkward and say I'm there to see Nance so Buster: You can see her if you want but you said you wanted to have fun so Buster: You'll have more of that with me Rio: I wanna see you Buster: Okay Rio: Mates? Rio: for the holidays, like Buster: Yeah Buster: Like old times Rio: Right Rio: I wonder what happened to that boy Buster: I wonder if he's played dares since Rio: Probably Rio: he was always up for it Buster: He didn't think we'd be up for it though Buster: Probably weirded him right out Rio: He shouldn't have said it Rio: clue is in the name, whole point of the game, like Buster: He'd been trying to get me to pussy out of playing for ages Buster: Don't you remember what a cunt he was? Rio: Oh, not really Rio: he was alright to me Rio: bit of a hanger-on type but other than that Buster: 'Course he was alright to you Rio: 'cos I'm not a lad Buster: 'Cause he is Rio: You used to reckon every lad fancied me Buster: They all did Buster: 🐸💋 Rio: 😂 Rio: he might've grown into his face Buster: We can use it for a punching bag Buster: Gotta start teaching you some time Rio: Awh, poor old whathisname Buster: I doubt you'll hurt him that bad, babe Rio: 😒 Rio: You wanna watch out Rio: my aim might be off Buster: I'm not ticklish, like Buster: I'll be fine Rio: Such a dick Rio: be your fault Rio: shit teacher, like Buster: I'll be a great teacher Buster: It don't mean I can give you power you ain't got Rio: Shut up, I'm not weak Buster: I didn't call you weak Buster: There's just no way you'd be able to knock me out Rio: Easy Rio: especially if you keep 'motivating' me like this Buster: What do you wanna bet? Buster: I'll let you try at the end of summer Rio: 🤔 Rio: what have you got that I want Buster: Tell me what you want and I'll get it Buster: If I don't already have it, which I probably do Rio: Alright, that's the bet Rio: I'll have thought of my prize by the end of summer Rio: you can do but don't dream too big 'cos it won't happen 💔 Buster: 😂 Buster: I'll make it easy for you and say you only have to knock me over not out Buster: Even with that fighting chance you won't win whatever you think you want Buster: So don't think too hard Rio: You can't cut corners, you still have to show me everything properly Rio: and at this rate, getting to punch you will be prize enough 👌 Buster: I'll teach you everything I know, exactly like I said I would Rio: Good Buster: We can start as soon as we get where we're going Rio: Can we? Rio: could be going to a library for all you know, boy Buster: For all I care Rio: 😏 Buster: Are you scared of librarians? Rio: Don't be stupid Rio: as if I'd actually take you to a library to try to distract you Buster: You could distract me anywhere Buster: But cheers for not picking a library, babe Rio: Challenge accepted on that one too Buster: It's not a challenge Rio: Come let me in Buster: [does or rather let's himself out cos no need to stay around the baze gaff] Rio: [run kids run 'fore anyone can think to stop you, like] Buster: [he should give her a matchbox with some kind of bug creature in that he caught cos 👸 and she said she wanted one lol] Rio: [that's so cute, bye, just getting some grass and dandelions and putting it in there like let's ride] Buster: [I hope it's not a gross bug lol but yeah I thought it's a good way to show they are still little like] Rio: [she wouldn't be eww about it so its fine, Ali is her mum, just taking his hand so they can run to the nearest dart thing] Buster: [we see you handholding when you don't need to and we stan] Rio: [at least you don't have the longest bus ride ever, the dedication that she got here thanks lol] Buster: [I never even thought about that like omg boy she must really love you she's literally a child and she did that early af in the day after a night of it] Rio: [thanks for not kidnapping her everyone lmao] Buster: [when I had my 1st hangover at 10 I was literally in bed all the next day like] Rio: [my boo say not for you sir] Buster: [only for you my waffle wife] Rio: ['you had breakfast?'] Buster: [looks at her like don't be stupid because 🤴s don't make their own breakfast and 10 year old boys who don't give a fuck clearly don't so no he has not lol] Rio: ['we can get pancakes' height of excitement live your best also a throw forward to when you go get breakfast in London] Buster: [remember when he made her crepes though and it was sexual as hell] Rio: [omg yes I do, that's like soon I think they were 12? something like that I'm sure, all I'm saying is you do a terrible job of ignoring each other] Buster: [god bless but in the now he'd be buzzing cos she's just treating him normal which his friends and Nancy aren't] Rio: [just chatting about all the things she's gonna get on her pancakes like when you're a kid and you go ham on the pizza hut ice cream and it's unedible] Buster: [omg yes such a mood and it'd lowkey turn competitive cos he's a boy who needs to flex like I'm gonna get this and this] Rio: [just loling when it gets outta hand] Buster: [we all loling and having a fun time cos deserved soz for not letting you 3rd wheel Nance but also not soz] Rio: [we all know that was shameless like no no you go do this instead, everyone catch yourselves on so blatant] Buster: [literally what are all of you playing at we can excuse baze for obvs reasons and cali cos 10 kids but the rest of y'all step it up tbh] Rio: [at least she'd know all the swag food places in town even now, should be like a cereal cafe vibe so they really can go ham with toppings, also probably there so off you get 'cos baze are pretty central] Buster: [yaaaaas open the door for her boy and help her out cos she's smol you gotta] Rio: [does a lil curtsey 'cos running with this 👸🤴 mood] Buster: [opening the door to the place too and pulling her chair out etc cos likewise] Rio: [imagine working there you'd be like aww, hence the waitress should give them a freebie or something and be nice af] Buster: [Why am I emosh about a fictional waitress shipping them bye] Buster: [omg they should go back and take saint as a bub and she can still be there] Rio: [AWH] Buster: [they'd be on such a sugar high rn it'd be adorable] Rio: [fight off any sign of a hangover with sugar] Buster: [they are gonna crash so hard later] Rio: [😴] Buster: [that could be so cute though if they do together and a nice flashforward to when they did when he was wrecked in a couple of years] Rio: [hit all those feels] Buster: [for now go and window shop for a bit until you actually go in somewhere swag and she tries something on and comes out and shows him even though she doesn't need to and you die boy and hit her with all them compliments so she can die too] Rio: [a moment, no hiding that lads] Buster: [shame she can't take a selfie in that 🔥 lewk for him to pine over later but they are meant to be at the park] Rio: [I mean she can take one but you can't realy ask for it unless you wanna be that obvious lmao] Buster: [unless she's sneaky and posts it but after the fact like only they know it happened then idk] Rio: [always an option, not like anyone is checked in appaz ] Buster: [that's the tea] Buster: [we could also let them actually go to the park later like maybe they get picked up from there so it looks legit but while they are there he can start to teach her how to 🥊 too so] Rio: [yas, we know it's gonna be inte nse and a moment so] Buster: [and they can take loads of cute selfies together so it looks like they've been there all day but really also just cos they wanna] Rio: [#shameless] Buster: [just look everyone we're so trustworthy don't worry about us bye] Rio: [let us go out more thank you] Buster: [do we wanna skip to later like maybe when they in the car on the way home #sneaky or is there any more we wanna say/do that happened?] Rio: [I reckon that's lots of moments for one day, I'm good to skip] Buster: [who should we say is picking them up and if it's Cali who else is in the car kid wise is my question lol] Rio: [probably cali, assuming everyone else is too fragile from last night, they could be taking Nancy home as well from whatever they went and did in the end, then probably the toddler aged ones 'cos extra and love to be involved so maybe Pablo, Grace and Janis like hello! lol] Buster: [sounds real when you're just in the car putting up pics of the girl you love and trying not to be too extra with your captions like] Rio: [better chat to Nancy gurl since you shamelessly uninvited her so guilty but no regrets really] Buster: [Nancy should ask if she can stay over at their house and Buster just like 👀 waiting to see if Cali will say yes cos shamelessly wants her to] Rio: [they'd probably umm and ahh 'cos the baze situation but I say they should ask baze when they get there and they'd say yes 'cos she's a helpful bitch and distract the kids tah] Buster: [Buster would be so buzzing cos he didn't have to ask her to stay but she still is] Rio: [just like love it when a plan comes together, a shameless look at him like yas] Buster: Not gonna stop being a 👸 if we stay up all night, are you? Rio: Oi, I suit green Rio: just watch your da's car don't turn into a 🎃 Buster: I know you do Buster: He don't suit red as well as me though and he'd be 😡 if anything happened to his car Rio: 😂 Rio: call in a favour with my fairy godmother and 🤞 Buster: Depends how distracted we need him to be later on Buster: So don't yet Rio: Imagine how weird he'd look if we shaved his eyebrows off Buster: [actually lols like excuse him everybody] Rio: [😏 but also telling the kids some joke 'cos you know they'd be like WHAT WHAT] Buster: [just looking at her back like 😏 cos she swagged it] Rio: What have you actually got in mind then Buster: Don't you like surprises? Rio: Sometimes Rio: not if you're coming for my eyebrows or something though Buster: You can trust me Buster: I won't touch your eyebrows Rio: Alright Rio: then I'll pretend to be surprised Buster: You're gonna be surprised for real Buster: Wait and see Rio: I'll try Buster: You don't have to when I'm putting in the effort for you Rio: Try and wait Rio: I mean Buster: You won't have to wait that long Buster: Nance can never stay up as late as me Rio: Don't being SO busy make you SO tired too, like Buster: Sometimes Buster: But being around you wakes me back up Rio: I feel that too Rio: not just all the sugar we had either Buster: There's so much left we've gotta do before summer ends Buster: And I've gotta do it all with you Rio: We will Rio: got ages, it'll be the best Rio: we can do something every day, like Buster: Let's go to the beach soon Rio: Yeah Rio: do you reckon we could get there and back without getting caught or Buster: 'Course Buster: It'll be easy Rio: Then we won't need to bring all the others Buster: It'll be loads better if it's just us Buster: One day I'm gonna have my own private beach but you can come Buster: 'Cause you're my best friend Rio: Promise now so you can't change your mind Buster: [does an IRL pinky promise lil link up of their fingers there and then excuse him everyone] Rio: [so buzzing] Rio: I'll cheer for you at matches then Buster: Yeah? Buster: Only when we're older and I'm richer or now too? Rio: Now too Rio: but I'll have to come visit your new house for that Buster: You will Rio: Good Rio: I wanna see your new rooms too Buster: Nance's will probably be boring Buster: Mine won't Rio: What colour are you gonna do Buster: Blue Rio: That'll look sick Rio: I hope when we come back for good, I get to do my room how I want it Buster: Will you get to have your own? Rio: I think so Rio: there's lots of rooms they just need sorting Buster: I'll help you 💪 Rio: then you can stay over ours Buster: Yeah Buster: It's a really short flight, I'm gonna come back whenever I want Rio: Do Rio: I almost forgot how much fun it is Rio: having you around Buster: I'm not letting you forget again Buster: Not even almost Rio: That's alright with me Rio: I don't wanna Buster: Good Buster: 'Cause I want us to stay best friends, okay? Buster: Forever Rio: and ever and ever Rio: no fairytale shit, I mean it Buster: So do I Buster: [giving her a look so she knows he does cos we all know what besties is code for here] Rio: [when you're so 😳 but also 😊 Nancy like hello???] Rio: We should find the scariest film we can tonight Buster: Definitely Buster: Just don't let Nance pick Rio: Will she be too 😱? Buster: Probably not Buster: Her taste is shitter than mine though Buster: Last film she chose had more subtitles than plot Rio: Such a cute nerd Rio: but summer = no homework so Rio: 👎 Soz babe Buster: 😏 Buster: I'll always be your fave now Rio: See what she's gonna over by way of private beaches and shit first Buster: She needs people to 📷 privacy ain't really gonna be on offer, like Rio: Unless she wants to take those kind of photos Buster: It's Nance Rio: True Buster: [chat to your sister boy cos you love her really] Rio: [lbr gonna need to entertain yours they'd be peak annoying] Buster: [oh lord Grace especially] Rio: [a 3 year old with no chill] Buster: [get them out of that car ASAP Cali step on it] Rio: can we get pizza Buster: Yeah Rio: 😁 Buster: But we're getting our own 'cause Nance won't grow the fuck up and stop being a vegetarian Rio: 😂 Rio: you can get whatever Rio: I'm not fussy Buster: You have to get what you want too Rio: Alright Rio: [sneaky looks forever] Buster: Good Buster: [such a look bye] Rio: Maybe we can all sleep in the lounge Buster: When did you start having properly good ideas? Buster: Just today like? Rio: Um always Rio: you just haven't been paying attention Buster: [another look cos we know he has] Rio: [look like well then] Buster: Smallest goes in the middle Rio: You definitely just made that up Buster: It makes sense if I did or I didn't Buster: You just don't need as much space, babe Rio: Just don't hog the covers Buster: I've already taught you enough 🥊 to stop me Rio: 😏 Rio: would keep us warm Buster: And a 👸 shouldn't ever be cold Rio: Practically a beheading offense, that Buster: Exactly Buster: And I'm not allowed to die yet Rio: Never Buster: [does another pinky promise like it's so casual] Rio: Will accept faux fur though Rio: don't have to murder any mink for me Buster: Well now your birthday present ain't gonna be a surprise Rio: 😂 Rio: my parents would probably throw paint at me, like so tah Buster: No animals have died, I'll make sure they know Rio: so considerate Buster: 🤴s have gotta be Buster: It's written in Rio: and best friends Rio: what are you gonna do for your birthday Buster: I don't know Buster: We were gonna go on holiday but mum and dad might say no now Rio: Maybe by then they'll be up for it again Buster: Me and Nance can't agree where to go anyway Rio: Typical Rio: where do you wanna go? Buster: She never wants to do anything I wanna do Buster: I've suggested loads of shit like scuba diving or surfing or skiing Rio: Maybe compromise Rio: there will be places where you can be doing that and she can do what she wants as well Buster: Do you wanna come? Rio: Your parents aren't gonna take me with yous Buster: They will if I say I want you to Rio: What if by then you have a new London best friend you'd rather take Buster: I'll probably have new friends but none I like as much as you Rio: okay, ask them Rio: when you know if you're going or not Rio: and I'll ask mine if they'll let me Buster: Alright Rio: [let you get out this car now like byeeee] Buster: [get in that house and fight over what pizza you want lads] Rio: [live your best sleepover lives, Nancy somehow oblivious to the vibe god bless] Buster: [love that oblivious lesbian] Rio: [wanna skip to later when Nancy is asleep or is there anything else?] Buster: [I think we can cos we know what the vibe is] Rio: Are you awake? Buster: Are you ready to be surprised? Rio: Go on Buster: [okay so my idea is baze have a hot tub in their dublin house but like he's made it cute/like a little beach vibe because who knows when they'll actually get to go and like sneakily set it up while she was distracted doing whatever with Nance over the course of this sleepover in dribs and drabs and like made cocktails for them as best as a little kid can and decorated and shit] Buster: Come on Rio: [That's the cutest shit I've ever heard like #overwhelmed does not begin to describe] Buster: [just looking at her like are you surprised/do you like it] Rio: [when you're like how do I avoid kissing you right now tbh] Buster: [forever the mood] Buster: [drink your drink girl it's okay] Rio: ['How'd you- WHEN did you-'] Buster: [😏 cos so proud of himself rn for being so #sneaky] Rio: [having to give him a massive hug 'cos that happy 'This is so cool, Buster'] Buster: [hugging her back way longer than you need to because we're hiding behind friendship so hard atm and we all know he wants to kiss her as much as she wants to kiss him] Rio: [make it more tense by literally getting in a hot tub like not calling you fat babe but Nancy's costume isn't gonna fit you right] Buster: [but it's that or getting in with your pjs on like this is all the boys I've loved before and risking them going see through] Rio: [ooh yeah I mean, an option] Buster: [and frankly a mood]                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       nb Rio: [doing it, 'cos then you'll have to find her a t-shirt or something like] Buster: [casual moment under towels and blankets because oh no we didn't think that through or did we and now you're gonna have to wear my clothes what a casual situation] Rio: [honestly like okay do you both wanna die or] Buster: [we're so evil] Buster: [at least the drinks would be good cos he copied what he's seen baze do] Rio: [apart from the undeniable sexual tension, they'd be having a great time] Buster: [a hot tub is the literal best when you're a child that's the tea] Rio: [and now] Buster: [tbh] Buster: [don't get too carried away splashing etc and wake anyone up though like] Rio: [got to be so sneaky rn] Buster: [so many secrets for so many years bye] Rio: [have fun with that] Buster: [live your best lives while you can kiddos] Rio: [oh I was thinking she should've got him something touristy and stereotypically irish in town like a teddy and imma just put that on his bed space] Buster: [why am I so emosh about them as kids rn like calm down me] Buster: [it should have an irish football kit on or something cos that sporty bitch he is] Rio: [deffo or rugby, they're good at that] Buster: [yasss] Rio: know he's not blue but Buster: I'll still find a place for him Buster: Don't worry Rio: You can put him away, it's alright Rio: just a bit of Dubo to take with you Buster: I wanna see him every day if I can't see you Rio: I'm gonna miss you so much Buster: I'll miss you too Rio: shame I can't convince my parents they need to move to London next, eh Buster: Or I can't convince mine to just stay here Rio: should've got them something from the giftshop too Buster: I'm glad you only got something for me though Rio: I had a good day with you, not them so Buster: I won't tell Nance Rio: Good Rio: she'd be so jealous, obvs 😏 Buster: 'Course Rio: I'm glad the surprise was just for me too Buster: This whole summer is for you Rio: I'll take it Buster: I'm giving it to you Buster: Like it or not Rio: I want it Rio: you know that Buster: Yeah Rio: [thank god those 😍 are hidden in the dark now] Buster: [saving yourselves because he'd be wearing his too so] Rio: what else do you wanna do Buster: We have to go tourist watching of course Buster: See how they compare to the London ones soon enough, like Rio: I reckon the Dubo ones have more craic but are well more offensive with the stereotypes, like Buster: They can't wait to tell you all about their Irish blood even if they don't have any Buster: None of the tourists in the capital are trying to call themselves cockney Rio: Exactly Rio: still, wherever they are, you can tell the yanks a load of bullshit and they'll buy it Buster: Sell 'em a load of bullshit and they'll buy it as well Buster: But speaking of Irish blood I've thought of the best dare for you Rio: What? Buster: I dare you to dive off the rocks at the forty foot Buster: [basically it's this famous outdoor swimming spot year round that's lowkey a bit dangerous but nearby enough they could easily get there and therefore had to] Rio: Alright Rio: I'm down Buster: You have to do it properly Buster: Don't just jump in the water Buster: It don't count as a dare done if you don't go off the rocks Rio: I know Rio: I'll do it, not chicken Buster: I know Rio: We'll have to go when there's not loads and loads people about Rio: I'm very cute and saveable Buster: You don't need saving Buster: But if you did, I'll do it Rio: Tell that to concerned/nosy adults 🙄 Buster: I will Buster: [gets closer to her without even meaning to do it because] Rio: [a really quiet 'hey' 'cos don't be waking Nancy up] Buster: [just looking at her in the dark like 👀 how did I get this close oops] Rio: [a lowkey staring contest rn] Buster: [saying her name really quietly like] Rio: [makes a tiny noise that's somewhere between oh and a whimper] Buster: [let's say they hear a noise which could be outside or upstairs but it's enough to cockblock him from kissing her cos must be done since he'd be literally so close to her by now] Rio: [dramatically pretending to be asleep the way you do as a kid 'til the coast is clear but the moment is gone] Buster: [thanks foxes or whatever the fuck] Rio: [just laying there like well, shit] Buster: [you know he'd get up cos FUMING that I've cockblocked him when he was leaning so far in that there's no pretending that anything else was about to happen] Rio: [when you know there was a noise but you're still like oh no, I fucked that up] Buster: [All I can imagine is him getting his shit and going to his room because he is that dramatic] Rio: Night then Buster: Yeah Rio: yeah Buster: [isn't being quiet or chill rn soz everyone] Rio: You're gonna wake them up Rio: what do you need Buster: Unlikely Buster: When they sleep it's really hard to wake 'em Buster: These days Rio: Not a challenge though Buster: Can be Buster: If you want Rio: Not the best idea you've ever had Buster: It was your turn to have 'em Buster: For today Rio: Then listen to me, like Buster: Don't tell me what to do in my own house, like Rio: Alright Buster: I can do whatever I want Buster: [no you can't boy and that's the problem lol lol lol] Rio: And why do you wanna Buster: I can't sleep why should they all get to? Rio: Does it make you feel more normal again Rio: if they're shouting at you Buster: Shut up Rio: That would make sense, is all Buster: Don't make sense of me Rio: Why? Buster: You're not smarter than me, I don't need you to Rio: Who said I'm doing it for you Buster: You're saying it to me Buster: Like you know something I don't Rio: I just asked you why Buster: You're talking about making things normal as if I could Buster: But however loud I am there's meant to be a crying baby keeping everyone up Rio: That doesn't mean you wouldn't try Rio: still Buster: They shouldn't be sleeping Buster: None of us should be Rio: What do you want to do Buster: There's fuck all I can do Rio: What are you going to do Buster: I don't know Rio: You don't have to figure it out tonight Buster: Cheers Rio: You want them to wake up Buster: Why are we playing twenty questions all of a fucking sudden? Rio: Not a question Rio: wake 'em up Rio: but they're not gonna make it better like you want Rio: parents are very disapointing Buster: There ain't no making it better Buster: Even you can't Buster: I only forgot for a day Buster: [lowkey trashing his room cos angry and sad and remember when he did before and she was there then as well how poetic] Rio: [emotions] Rio: You can't forget about him Buster: It doesn't matter if I can't, I still have to Rio: That don't work Buster: You don't know that it won't Rio: It's impossible Buster: Nothing's impossible for me Rio: Until it is and now what Buster: You're wrong Rio: Wish I was Buster: You are Rio: You wouldn't be up there trashing your room if I was Buster: Fuck off Buster: It's your fault Rio: Yeah? Buster: Yeah Rio: That's alright then Rio: easily solved Buster: You can't make me forget everything and then tell me it's a stupid idea Buster: Make me happy and then make me angry Rio: It isn't a stupid idea Rio: you aren't forgetting you're just carrying on Buster: It's the same thing Rio: I'm not trying to make you angry Buster: I know Rio: are you okay Rio: like, you aren't hurt or anything Buster: [comes back down cos he's not gonna sleep in that carnage but just sitting on the stairs like well this is fine] Rio: [nods her head in the direction of their sleeping situation and gets up 'I'll go in Nancy's room'] Buster: [comes over to her because wants to be close to her always 'Don't'] Rio: [casually checking him over but also handily not making eye contact 'cos can't 'you have to sleep'] Buster: [just making her lie back down and snuggling her because shameless] Rio: [allowing herself to get there 'cos he clearly needs to 'Buster, I just-' but shaking her head 'it won't happen again, okay'] Buster: [holding onto her like his life depends on it 'okay, it won't happen again' very convincing boy well done] Rio: [just stroking his hair] Buster: [calming down as she does 'Sorry'] Rio: [shhing him gently] Buster: [is he crying or isn't he, there's no way to know] Rio: [just telling him he's alright over and over] Buster: ['I didn't mean it, it's not your fault'] Rio: ['They can be two separate issues, it's not important'] Buster: ['it is to me and you are to me, don't fuck off, I don't want you to'] Rio: [holds him tighter like I'm still here] Buster: [literally just wrapped around each other by this point] Rio: ['I'm sorry too'] Buster: ['You ain't allowed to be 'cause you didn't do anything' but his voice is soft not his confrontational one] Rio: [shakes head 'cause we both know what almost happened but not putting words to that right now] Buster: [holds her tighter like I mean it 'cause blaming himself entirely for that as well since he was the one doing all that leaning] Rio: ['we didn't even get caught, it's so fine' kinda giving away that you don't regret it there but shh] Buster: ['we won't get caught going to the beach or the forty foot either, it'll be the best summer, I promise' just like I love you and I won't ruin this haha] Rio: [reaching out to pinky promise again] Buster: [doing it while we can cos Buster is gonna be a dickhead soon and outgrow being this cute egg RIP] Rio: [rip rip, also realised its edies bday on the 10th btw] Buster: [OMG I forgot how old is she gonna be?] Rio: [7] Buster: [should we let them snooze or is there any more feels we wanna inflict on ourselves?] Rio: [Hmm, probably sleep or this could get outta hand so easily lol] Buster: [Good point]

[punkscowardschampions]

Fraze & Bea

Fraze: Where are you? Bea: getting some last minute supplies Bea: why? Fraze: Come back Bea: what's wrong Fraze: Joe is Fraze: So Ali reckons Fraze: I need to go Bea: let me catch up Bea: what's wrong with Joe, and where is he that you need to go Fraze: He's fucked off back Bea: yeah Bea: he didn't want to come back anyway so Bea: what's the drama Fraze: Do you wanna fucking do this while you're shopping? Bea: I'm just trying to work out what's actually going on right now Bea: what did Ali say Fraze: She said that he asked her for a drugs hook up so she sent him to some school kid who ain't got what he needed Bea: oh yeah Bea: so that's out of character Bea: and strange that he would ask Ali so I get why she's freaking but why are you then Fraze: 'Cause the kid reckons he wanted heroin and when that was off the table he bought 50 benzos & cleared the dealer out Fraze: I ain't freaking out Fraze: I'll sort it, told her and now I'm telling you Bea: what the fuck Bea: seriously Fraze: It's bullshit, it has to be Fraze: But she wouldn't let me talk to the dealer kid so I'm gonna have to talk to Joe Bea: of course it is Bea: it's ridiculous Bea: are you sure Bea: I can talk to the kid Bea: I'm more tactful than you Fraze: I'm not sending you to flirt with some underage dealer Fraze: Fuck off Bea: who said anything about flirting Bea: not trying to pick up, Jesus Fraze: What are you gonna do then offer to help him with his homework legit? Fraze: Come on Bea: You really think I'll need to resort to bribery Fraze: I ain't thinking about what you need, babe Fraze: No offense Bea: Don't be stupid Bea: I just don't think coming at Joe all guns blazing is the best idea Fraze: And I don't reckon Ali will be consider it sorted if I send him a quick text Fraze: She thought he was gonna do himself in Fraze: I should fucking kill him for scaring her like that Bea: that's shitty but like you said Bea: it's bullshit Bea: this doesn't need to be amped up further than it clearly already has, like Fraze: Granted dropping some pills at a family BBQ don't make her no expert but she's not stupid Fraze: And she wouldn't come to me for fuck all Fraze: So there's something Fraze: Whatever the fuck it is, I can't just leave it Bea: I'm not saying she is, or there isn't but Bea: I'll be there soon Bea: I can go see him Fraze: I said no Fraze: It should be me Bea: it's going to be weird Bea: you barely speak and you're just gonna show up Bea: I know he's your brother but come on Fraze: Don't Bea: No, if you can't handle even talking about it how are you gonna do it Fraze: You gonna try and tell me what I can handle now, yeah? Bea: I'm not telling you anything for my own sake here Fraze: Mine or his then? Bea: Both Bea: but mainly yours Bea: what, you think if I visited and he was living in a crack den I'd keep it to myself? Fraze: Nah, what I'm thinking is I don't need you to fight my battles for me Fraze: There's nothing I can't do, alright Fraze: End of story Bea: It's not a battle and you're being childish Fraze: Of course it is Fraze: What isn't Fraze: Everything's a fucking fight in this fucking family Bea: and all I'm saying is assess the situation before making it one Bea: what are we actually going on here Bea: the words of a child drug dealer who probably fancies your sister Bea: what other proof do we have Fraze: Ali Fraze: She saw him before he left and she spoke to him after Fraze: She don't spook easy Bea: He did look a bit rough Bea: but I just thought he'd been going hard with everything Bea: it's an adjustment Bea: maybe there is more but it can't be Bea: that Fraze: Yeah Bea: when are you going then? Fraze: Not til I've seen you Bea: I'm on my way back now Fraze: Good Bea: are you sure about this? Fraze: Are you saying I shouldn't Bea: I don't know Bea: I've got no idea what you're meant to do or should do Bea: if it's real and true Bea: and if it ain't that's a whole other mess Fraze: All I know is that I can't tell my fucking parents Fraze: Fucked if I've got a clue about anything else Bea: definitely not Bea: fucking hell Fraze: Come with me Fraze: No eyebrows are getting raised if we fly off together Bea: True Bea: Maybe I could stay Bea: I'm basically ready Fraze: Are you? Bea: well Bea: doubt halls are but Bea: only so many books I can buy Bea: I don't know Bea: just an idea Fraze: Then don't stay in halls Fraze: That's an idea Bea: they're not the usual Bea: I told you, they look amazing Fraze: I'm sure they do, babe Fraze: But if you stay with him until they are ready, wouldn't that solve like half our problems Bea: I literally offered to go see him and you said no, like five minutes ago Fraze: Will you do it or not? Bea: do you want me to? Fraze: It ain't about what I want Bea: sounds like you're keen so Bea: sure Bea: why not Fraze: 'Cause I could be sending you into a drug den Bea: well obviously that'd change things Bea: everything Fraze: No shit Bea: 🙄 Fraze: It ain't your turn to be childish Fraze: What do you want? Bea: What do you want me to say? Bea: Like I said, I don't know Fraze: Yeah you do Fraze: Cut the bullshit, you just don't wanna tell me what you've decided Fraze: But I'm a big boy now, I can take it Bea: that ain't true Bea: I don't know, actually Bea: not like I'm jumping at the chance to spend loads of 1x1 time with him either Fraze: Then don't Fraze: It's off the table Fraze: Forget about it Bea: You don't get to decide for me Bea: I'm allowed to think about it before committing, Christ Fraze: Don't start for fuck's sake Bea: What Bea: I ain't said fuck all Fraze: You know what Fraze: You've made it clear enough that I ain't got no say in what you do Fraze: Anymore Bea: We can't keep going over this Bea: that's how it's meant to be Bea: we can't make decisions like that based on each other Fraze: You can't Fraze: Name one decision I've made since we were kids that ain't got you in the fucking centre of it Bea: that ain't fair Fraze: I know Fraze: But what's fair got to do with any of this Bea: I have to go to Cambridge and you have to go here Bea: that's just what it is Fraze: I'm not stopping you Fraze: I only asked you what you want Fraze: There's my answer, yeah? Bea: you can't keep making me feel bad about it Bea: like it isn't what's best for both of us Fraze: You can't just not feel bad about it Bea: I don't Bea: I know it's the right decision Bea: but if you could not call me a selfish bitch about it that might be nice Fraze: Those words have never come out of my mouth Fraze: If you hear 'em it's 'cause you're thinking 'em yourself, babe Bea: Nah Bea: but nice try, like Fraze: At least one of us is Bea: Fuck off Bea: I'm coming right now, aren't I Fraze: Fuck you Fraze: Did that even sound like enough when you typed it Bea: I'm not doing this right now Fraze: When then, graduation? Bea: What is there to discuss Bea: that we haven't already Fraze: So your solution is stop talking about it and just fucking do it Fraze: Alright Fraze: Fucking do it Bea: I am Bea: doesn't mean I have to go right now 'cos you're ready to be rid Fraze: What are you waiting for Bea: I told you, my halls for one Bea: Jesus, I'll sleep on the sofa if you're that bothered Bea: don't worry Fraze: Do what you want, you will anyway Bea: yeah, I will Bea: don't know why this is news Fraze: It ain't Fraze: Don't you worry Bea: Great Bea: See you in 5 Fraze: Yeah Bea: I don't want to leave like this Bea: alright Fraze: Then don't Fraze: I don't want you to Bea: let's just enjoy the time we've got left yeah Fraze: Alright Fraze: But what are we gonna do about Joe? Bea: We can still go but I think it'd be better if we were more careful with it Bea: if there is a problem, we'll find out and we'll do something about it Bea: can't literally strong-arm him into rehab Bea: I promise I'll go see him Fraze: I could, I could fucking break his arm but Fraze: I won't Bea: You know it makes sense Bea: Ali will be fine Bea: yeah Fraze: You want me to shower you with compliments now, yeah? Fraze: Like it ain't enough that Cambs knows how smart you are Fraze: Alright, Red. You've got me Bea: Would it be so bad? Fraze: Probably end up feeling good Fraze: But you already know that Bea: You too Bea: so stop fighting it Fraze: I told you, everything's a fight Fraze: So make me Bea: Easy Fraze: We'll see in 5 Bea: like you've forgot Fraze: You're the one who's ready to go Fraze: Maybe you have Bea: I haven't Fraze: Swear to me Fraze: That you won't Bea: Why would I Bea: HOW would I Fraze: To make it easier Fraze: And 'cause you can do anything like Bea: I can Bea: but I don't want to Bea: I said, I wanna enjoy however long we have left, right Fraze: And I said, me too Bea: then let's do it Fraze: Only waiting on you Fraze: Longest 5 fucking minutes Bea: don't blame me I took the bus in Fraze: If you want me to brawl the driver I can do that, but you'll already be off by then Fraze: So I'd much rather blame you for not letting me drive you Fraze: Less blood, only slightly less danger Bea: gotta get used to not having a car for a while, don't I Bea: and you know what I want, idiot Fraze: That's the hardship of this, yeah? Miss me as your fucking chauffeur Fraze: Cheers, babe Bea: You're welcome Bea: even uber ain't this efficient Fraze: Put it on my CV, shall I? Bea: No Bea: private driver only, thanks Fraze: You're such a princess Bea: I am not Fraze: Shame Bea: Really Fraze: I was gonna carry you in but gotta wait for you to walk now Bea: Such a romantic, you Fraze: You ain't forgotten Bea: didn't say I had Fraze: Like I said, don't Bea: Don't you Fraze: I ain't Fraze: Can't and won't like Bea: Better not Fraze: Be better if I did Fraze: But nah Bea: fuck off Bea: don't say that to me Fraze: Why, so you can be the only one who says what's best for me? Fraze: Fuck that Bea: No Bea: think what you like, do what you like Bea: but I don't need to hear it Fraze: You can't tell me to do what I like and then tell me what I can and can't say Fraze: It don't work like that Bea: say what you like and all Bea: I don't have to listen Fraze: 'Course not Bea: fuck's sake Fraze: What? Bea: just don't talk to me when I get back okay Fraze: If you want Bea: what's it matter what I want yeah Fraze: Yeah, I've wasted a shit ton of my breath asking what you want 'cause I don't give a fuck Fraze: Don't be stupid Bea: Apparently Bea: 'cos you clearly don't care when I tell you to stop Fraze: Bullshit Bea: no not bullshit Bea: I told you, I don't wanna think about that shit Fraze: You think I want to Bea: I don't know, you brought it up Fraze: If you can't think about it, how are you gonna do it, yeah? Bea: Hilarious Fraze: Nah Bea: who's home right now Fraze: Me Bea: no one else? Fraze: Unless your sister's hiding under the bed how she used to Bea: Possible Bea: but she can stay there if she is Fraze: The dog's here if you really don't want my company, like Bea: I'm just not in the mood to be nice right now Fraze: I wouldn't still be here if that was a requirement Bea: Suppose not Bea: [comes in, puts shopping down and goes kitchen] Fraze: [casually leaning on the doorway lurking in silence, boy that's creepy don't] Bea: [getting a drink, probably alcoholic, deffo makes her jump but is trying style it out silently by being like what?] Fraze: [does the thing where he can reach over her to get one too because taller with longer arms & also rude like bitch she's probably in the middle of pouring that & also you've blatantly been on it since you spoke to Ali so probably don't] Bea: [turns around to look up at him 'cos wants to and close proximity but then has to walk away] Fraze: [follows her slowly like that doesn't count as following and isn't as obvious, okay boy. So just then standing closer than he needs to be] Bea: [turning back like 'what are you doing?'] Fraze: [shrugs which is not an acceptable answer excuse you] Bea: [rolls her eyes like fine then if that's how it is and goes to their room] Fraze: [comes in and makes a big show of looking for his lighter & cigarettes and all that bullshit but nobody believes he doesn't know where it all is] Bea: [just watching him like what the fuck boy, drinking and judging] Fraze: ['Don't look at me like that'] Bea: ['I can look however I want'] Fraze: [Gives her a look because live & die via intense eye contact] Bea: [casual staring contest going down lmao] Fraze: [literally downs his drink without breaking it because not gonna be the one] Bea: [has such a mad little face on] Fraze: [the state of him I dread to think cos what a fucking day, like its only pride keeping him from being a mess rn] Bea: [shakes her head and looks away, finally] Fraze: [goes to smoke because yeah that'll help of course & more importantly because can't handle that the stand off has been broken like that] Bea: did you think he seemed Bea: different Fraze: From what Bea: from before he left for uni Fraze: I don't fucking know Fraze: What kind of question is that Bea: a genuine one Bea: no need to bite my head off Fraze: Do you want me to say he was a junkie in waiting before he left or what, like? Bea: I'm just trying to work out how the fuck it'd be possible for an entire family to miss something that big Fraze: You reckon I ain't asked myself that every which way Fraze: Jesus Bea: I know Bea: someone's got to talk about it Bea: even if it's just us right now Fraze: We outgrew the buddy system, what can I say? Bea: It isn't your fault Bea: I'm not saying that Bea: just Bea: fuck Fraze: You're saying we waved him off as a dead man walking though, yeah? If this is true that's what we all fucking did Bea: stop putting words in my mouth Bea: who hasn't got their issues Bea: doesn't mean you have to foresee this level of trouble 'cos of it Bea: I was just trying to think if he did seem different, because he didn't walk in and we were all jumping ten foot back, like Fraze: Ali said he looked sick Fraze: If the rest of us missed it, that's 'cause we wanted to Bea: Why would we want that? Fraze: Why do we all pretend your sister is a really fussy eater? Fraze: Come on Bea: This is bullshit Fraze: This family sees what it wants to see and fuck the rest Fraze: Always has done Bea: then what's the point Fraze: Getting out Fraze: We've got our way, maybe this is his Bea: every man for himself then, if you ain't gonna look after yourself then sorry, fuck you Bea: I know you don't actually mean that Fraze: It ain't how I want it Fraze: But like I said, it ain't about what I want Bea: Could be Fraze: I can't fucking save him Fraze: I couldn't even save you Bea: Don't Fraze: What so now you don't wanna talk about it Bea: we aren't talking about me or that Fraze: We're talking about me Fraze: She wants me to sort it, how the hell can I? Bea: She knows you can't Bea: she just doesn't want to tell your parents either Bea: it makes it real Bea: this way she gets to say she did something but all it is is delegation because no, no one can 'save' him Bea: everyone knows how this works Fraze: Then what's the point Bea: to say you tried Bea: to show you give a shit Fraze: If I can't do fuck all for him he might as well not be my brother Fraze: Just any smackhead you walk past on the street like Bea: caring is something Bea: just 'cos you can't make him clean up if he don't want to doesn't mean you're useless Bea: just feel it Fraze: Is it making any difference to you, how much I feel? Fraze: You're still gonna leave and you don't want me to care about it Bea: I care too Bea: but I have to go, there's no alternatives Fraze: Fuck this Fraze: When Tommy jumped first, he had the right idea Bea: you don't have to stay here Fraze: You know that's bullshit as much as I do Bea: I mean this house Bea: get a flat share Bea: whatever Fraze: And that'll solve everything, yeah? Bea: Jesus Bea: what the fuck is this attitude Bea: just try, Fraze Fraze: Don't you dare Bea: why not Bea: it's fucking true Fraze: Bullshit Fraze: Who the actual fuck do you think you're talking to Bea: I don't even know Fraze: Fuck you Bea: yeah yeah Fraze: If you take another swing at me like that you better hope I'm drunker than I am, babe Bea: What are you gonna do Bea: nothing Fraze: What are you gonna do? Kicking someone when they're down only works if they're on the ground Bea: I'm going to drink some more Bea: that's what I'm gonna do Fraze: You and me both Fraze: So cheers Bea: great, have fun Fraze: Bring me my fucking glass Bea: excuse you Fraze: You want me to try, that's worth one Bea: you know what, if it'll shut you up then why not Bea: [brings it and slams it down dramatically] Fraze: [is 😏 & does a dramatic cheers] Bea: ['fuck you'] Fraze: ['I love you'] Bea: [turns back and stops, 'cos obvs walking off again, casually launching self at him for such an intense kiss] Fraze: [obvs kisses her back as intensely if not more so like that glass better watch itself & everything else in proximity because no attention being paid to anything else] Bea: [holding him so tight and pushing herself as close as she can and the closer still 'cos this is fucked but what else can they do] Fraze: [good job they actually are the only ones home] Bea: ['I'm sorry'] Fraze: ['Don't' literally gonna have bruises from how tightly they are holding onto each other here, oh you two and I also like to imagine that glass is shattered RIP cos what a mood and how dramatic] Bea: [be careful lads] Fraze: [says ILY again because the first time was a bit rude tbh] Bea: ['don't forget'] Fraze: [looks at her like you either & then does his best to make sure she won't cos that bitch forever] Bea: ['I already miss you'] Fraze: ['I know'] Bea: [staring at him again but in a saucy way now 'is that better?'] Fraze: [staring back because always & more kisses because obvious yes] Bea: [her turn to be 😏] Fraze: [have a bemused smile back babe because] Bea: ['don't stop' purposely leaving that ambiguous like] Fraze: ['I won't' it doesn't even matter what she means because he means that regardless & we all know it] Bea: [intense af makeout like are we still outside ok lads] Fraze: [picks her up because they are still outside but they got a bed not far away & they can kiss the whole way cos he can muscle memory where he's going basically this ain't their first rodeo lbr] Bea: [what a rollercoaster Fraze: [as is their standard, god bless I've missed you two you dramatic assholes. I hope you haven't left an entire trail of destruction as you intensely make out] Bea: [or do lbr like mcvickers ain't gonna know the half of the drama that's actually rn so] Fraze: [it's a mood so go off actually lads] Bea: [when all your other kids have fucked off like literally where is ro lmao] Fraze: [actually stressed about that broken glass outside rn excuse me] Bea: [doubt its the first time they've broken things being saucy/dramatic] Fraze: [god bless]

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: Just had to suffer my sister at her worst but also think she won't talk to me or you now so Janis: 👍🤞 Jimmy: 🎻 Jimmy: Tah though baby 👍 Janis: 🖕 You have no idea dickhead Janis: owe me for how much she blames me 'cos of course Jimmy: we can plan our first date Jimmy: shout you drinks when it happens & work out how most to piss her off 'til then Janis: Decent Janis: have to make it last longer than a few days so she can eat shit/her words Janis: not the date, she ain't that demanding I hope Jimmy: 'ave til school starts, that should be long enough? Jimmy: what sorta dates are #goals for her & her mates Janis: Fine by me, probs a record for that lot honestly Janis: Eurgh, hold on Janis: lemme get into the headspace of a basic bitch Jimmy: & i can serve a record number of frappes to 'em in that time, less time all 'round when it ain't hols no more Jimmy: 👌😂 Jimmy: needs to be bearable for us too Janis: Wasn't betting on it with you for company, babe Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: You love me now, remember Janis: Shh, the more you talk the harder this is Janis: I dunno, every cliche in the book probably, like can't actually just go down the pub, that is not a thotsquad approved #goal Jimmy: hang on, in my house we don't play charades or owt but I'll 'ave a go... 🖕 Jimmy: where did her last bae take your sister? Janis: How many syllables? Jimmy: as many as dickhead has Jimmy: flicks? then we don't have to talk Janis: Tap 'em out, come on Janis: it's two, just so you know Janis: Yeah, that'd work Janis: are you going to make me see something pretentious and artsy or what though Jimmy: you wouldn't like that, smart girl? Jimmy: gotta be a horror film, don't it? That's the cliche Janis: 'course, nothing like a heavy dose of fear to get a girl in the mood Janis: how could I forget Jimmy: food & drinks before or after? since you eat, unlike your sister Janis: After, means there was a chance we got off on the backrow 'fore tucking in to all the garlic or whatever posh food always has in it Jimmy: I can't be back too late though for real Janis: Alright Janis: post it after Janis: doubt our classmates are gonna be hanging 'bout any food place that ain't nandos or maccas so Jimmy: It's your turn on the 'gram, sweetheart Janis: Great 🙄 Jimmy: Fake more enthusiasm when you type out the #s Jimmy: if your sister's likely to be about I'll pick you up Jimmy: say when Janis: 'course Janis: when more's at stake than just your ego darling 😘 Janis: when do you need to be back for real Janis: it doesn't matter to me Jimmy: 9ish at latest Jimmy: but if anyone asks we were out 'til whenever Jimmy: my sister ain't gonna dob us in as liars Janis: Shit man, wha'd'ya do? Janis: 'course though Janis: mine happily would but she ain't that bright, and easily avoided so it's cool Jimmy: nowt like what you're thinking Janis: coulda gone with that Janis: actually sound impressive Jimmy: why? Jimmy: you getting bored of me already, Jessica? Jimmy: 💔 Janis: just saying, bit of inspiration wouldn't go amiss if you want this post to be 🔥 Janis: but don't worry, I'm a pro even if you're not bringing your A game Jimmy: if you need it when the bar's this low, we are doomed Jimmy: got weeks of this yet, girl Janis: shut up, misery Janis: just worried you can't keep up Jimmy: 💔🎻💔 Jimmy: a well deep wound Janis: You want 'em to piss off or nah, boy Jimmy: save your nagging 'til you next visit me at work Jimmy: the audience will lap it up Janis: Yeah yeah, you just wanna fully appreciate in person don't lie Jimmy: rumbled 😍 Janis: Hm, know your type, mate Janis: probably tell me your shifts so I can drop in casual Janis: not dedicated enough to work it out like they have, soz Jimmy: [sends his work schedule] Jimmy: get in before I get sacked 🙄 Janis: are you only the best barista in looks then? 💔 Jimmy: don't be a dickhead Jimmy: you tasted that smoothie Jimmy: but your sister's head bitch is here with her latest male victim Jimmy: I can only be so 😁 Janis: do the world, him and me a favour and poison hers, like 😒 Janis: your manager will understand Jimmy: Is she not immune to most? Jimmy: Looks like she's about to swallow this lad 🐍 Janis: 😷 Janis: Throw water at her, cool her down and she'll melt Jimmy: deal Janis: knew you had your uses Jimmy: she keeps looking at me Jimmy: waiting for my invite to sit down and join in Janis: probably Janis: or she's trying to turn you into stone, run away then, boy 🙄 Jimmy: if she can get anyone hard with one of them looks I despair at Leprechaun country more than I had done Janis: 😏 Janis: Actually funny, give you that Janis: she reckons Jimmy: Funny enough to come save me? Janis: Hmm Janis: How scared are you? Gotta let it get high enough, most hero points Jimmy: I'll let you know when she unhinges her jaw fully Janis: 👍 Janis: quite the party trick Jimmy: go on, I'll ramp up the 😍 Jimmy: make her think you're really irresistible Janis: Think? Janis: Bitch, she knows Jimmy: She fancies you? Jimmy: That explains a lot Janis: I don't know what her actual damage is Janis: would explain the over-the-top homophobia, like Jimmy: I'll show her what she's missing then Jimmy: work appropriate PDA Janis: 😍 when you put it like that Jimmy: gotta pay up Jimmy: like you said, I owe you for Grace Jimmy: how far do you want me to go? Janis: Oh 'scuse me whilst I take a moment to swoon Janis: 😂 Jimmy: Don't take too long if you don't want her to leave Jimmy: which I know you don't Jimmy: she's been chatting shit loudly about you, for my benefit, since she got here Janis: 😒 Glad to know she's as much a cunt behind my back as she is to my face Janis: true friend 💕 Janis: Reckon we can manage to show you're actually interested in ME and not just getting off with any bitch or too pie in the sky Jimmy: Easy Jimmy: Put your hair up so I can take it down that's the most cliche thing I can think of Janis: Sorted Janis: it's up anyway, had to go to the gym after that delightful convo with Gracie Jimmy: If you can keep your sick in your mouth & not over me, I'll remember your name, just for this Jimmy: Jennifer, right? Janis: I know you can read Janis: not that Northern Jimmy: Do you? Jimmy: I might be faking that too Janis: You running every message by your colleague first then? Janis: I should get off with him too, only fair Jimmy: wait til Mona's gone probably Jimmy: what do you wanna drink/eat? I'll pretend it's spontaneous 'cause I can read you so well 💕 Janis: She'd respect it, slutbag Janis: the others would defs not though so I'll be sly with it, don't worry Janis: Clearly a non-shit smoothie is our thing, babe 💕 Janis: and anything with protein, not fussy Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: Take some selfies with me, we'll work out who's gonna post what later Janis: Gotta give the fans what they want Jimmy: gotta give the #haters what they don't Janis: You know it Janis: by the time School rolls back 'round, you're gonna be so forgettable Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: No wishing 'bout it, boy Janis: I get shit done 💪 Jimmy: Don't make me like you Jimmy: Not what we're here for Janis: 🙄 Don't be soft Jimmy: Do your job & I won't be, will I? Jimmy: 😍 remember Janis: Yeah 😏 Do your best to look dead blue ball'd in these selfies Janis: what could be more #goals than a boy not instantly going off you when you don't spread 'em on first sight, appaz Janis: and our bar is low yeah Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: It's been a while, I can do that Janis: 🎻 Janis: Bollocks has it Jimmy: Hard to believe 'cause you want me so bad but actually has Janis: 🖕 Janis: if you have as many fans as you claiming, they ain't all so unbearable you ain't gone there Jimmy: yeah they are Janis: ⬆ standards, is it Jimmy: standards Jimmy: any Janis: Admirable Jimmy: Piss off Janis: Deadly serious Jimmy: nah you're not Janis: Giving you a few months 'fore you're one of 'em Janis: that's all Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: back to being brutal now then Janis: You want saving from this whole town, that'd cost more than you'd be willing to give, boy Janis: get you eventually Jimmy: I'll be gone before that happens Janis: Yeah? Jimmy: I didn't wanna come here in the first place, I'm not making it my shamrock patch to die in Janis: Me either, mate Jimmy: You better shut up and get a move on before we find owt else we've got in common Janis: 'Less you want me to show up all sweaty and have it be known that's what you're into you'll calm the fuck down and lemme finish Jimmy: If I cared that much what people thought I was into have dressed you before you first showed up here Janis: Cunt Janis: if I wanted unwarranted fashion advice, I'd have stayed home and alked to my sister some more Jimmy: Can't seduce a girl without a leather jacket, by your own reckoning Jimmy: So you're wrong or I don't care, do I? Janis: I'm right, you just like complaining Janis: it ain't like you've been catfished here Jimmy: you've been whinging since you got in my inbox, Jolene Janis: You're the one who's shit scared of falling so you keep 🤐 anything else Jimmy: You don't know me Jimmy: guess again Janis: I'm good Janis: only need to know the fake you tso this isn't a waste of time Jimmy: 💔 Janis: but give me the basic rundown over dinner, yeah Janis: just in case anyone asks when your birthday is or some shit Jimmy: chatting something useful? Who are you? Jimmy: Top one, Julie Janis: Funny Janis: I'll be fucking fuming if it's soon, I ain't getting you anything Jimmy: We'll be over before then Jimmy: When's yours? Janis: 13th October, so same Jimmy: Gutted I can't make Grace share with me as well Janis: 😒 Don't even Janis: basically have to leave the country to get away, no joke how serious she takes it Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎸🎺🎻 Jimmy: you get the whole orchestra for that one, baby Janis: I'll let her know you want the joint party, see how musical you feeling then Jimmy: I've already told you, you ain't breaking my heart Jimmy: do your worst Janis: hour 3 of picking out fucking Janis: napkin colours Janis: and she will Jimmy: nah don't have to listen Jimmy: she don't want any real input Janis: i know you've heard how loud she is Janis: there's no option Jimmy: bollocks Janis: I'm telling you, take my place Jimmy: I'm telling you, customer service has trained me Jimmy: Challenge accepted Janis: Have fun Janis: Imma do one with your fit workmate ✌ Jimmy: You'd have to find one first Janis: Easy Jimmy: if that's your type, sweetheart Janis: Not an amateur like the bitches who concern themselves with you, I've scoped the joint once, I'm good to go Janis: Don't be jealous, you asked for this Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: It's pity not jealousy Jimmy: if you think any of 'em are fit you need your eyes checked at least and at worst, like....scrapping Janis: I didn't know you'd ranked 'em all outta 10 already, my bad Janis: if you got claims, just say, girl code Jimmy: what the fuck is girl code? Janis: Fucked if I know but unsurprised I'm apparently in violation 'cos Gracie ain't getting exactly what she wants 🤷 Janis: ask if you can get a word in Jimmy: tah, mate Janis: I know, she's scary Janis: save your streetcred and keep it hush Jimmy: what street cred? I'm dating you Janis: Actually do one Jimmy: you don't feel no different about me Jimmy: we ain't pretending here Janis: I've had enough of it for one day though so you'll have to have a go tomorrow, like Jimmy: alright, white flag Jimmy: relax, Janis Janis: Whatever, yeah Janis: omw Jimmy: I'll get the smoothie ready so you don't have to wait Jimmy: it's the little things that are #goals yeah? Janis: 💕 Janis: so sweet Jimmy: save it Jimmy: we've got a show to put on Jimmy: Myrtle's really stepped hers up, on the hate & the love Janis: Least she's coming up for air Janis: What's she saying then? Jimmy: not worth repeating when we can just shut it down Janis: I just feel sorry for the lad Janis: his idea of a hot date probably isn't a bitching sesh Jimmy: he looks like he's enjoying himself Janis: 😷 the casualties of the job they didn't warn you about, yeah Jimmy: if you want any food you're braver than me Janis: Given but Janis: ew Jimmy: don't be a dickhead after the white flag's gone up Janis: awh babes Janis: don't you wanna play dirty? Jimmy: like I said, save it, babes Janis: 😏 fine Janis: dry Jimmy: I get it, you want me Jimmy: you can regret that it's fake later Janis: Yeah, be one for the deathbed, that 🙄 Jimmy: I'll bring the orchestra in Janis: you'll be long gone Janis: 💔 can kill, you know Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: alright, Juliet, steady on Janis: 🥊 ain't pulling no Janis: you shoulda done more research, boyo Jimmy: Minerva's meant to be drinking the poison not you, love Jimmy: & absolutely not me Janis: ahh so it's true Janis: you DO pull that stunt on all the girls 😏 amateur Jimmy: call me an amateur after if you still think so Janis: happily Jimmy: Love you too, baby Janis: 🤢 Janis: blow your load that quick we're in real trouble Jimmy: what are you wearing today? Jimmy: 'cause unless you've got the leathers out Janis: 😂 kicking it old school sex hotline okay Janis: gym things, obviously Janis: men, never listen 😏 Jimmy: we're in no danger then Janis: 💔 Jimmy: 🎻 Janis: rude when i'm blowing off the gym juice boy for you Jimmy: if you want to bring him to CG to dangle in front of your enemy, go on Janis: Poor boy Janis: she has enough playthings without my help Jimmy: they'll both be gutted Jimmy: learn to share, Joni Janis: fuck off Janis: had a lifetime as is Jimmy: I ain't an only child Jimmy: you don't get no violin Janis: how many you got, 1, 2 Janis: and you ain't twins with the most annoying bitch in ireland, possibly the world Jimmy: take it up with your Irish catholic parents or whatever Jimmy: probably the pope Janis: how irish catholic do i look boy Jimmy: your ma looks it Jimmy: that'll do Janis: send her to the fucking laundries and bury us all in the mass grave Janis: good luck n all da Jimmy: cheery today you Janis: ain't my fault fallen women don't get you going Janis: what's wrong with you man Jimmy: if that's your #goal we are proper doomed Jimmy: couldn't be more turned off if I tried Janis: tell you ain't catholic Janis: love to hate the sin hatefuck the sinner baby, that's how we're rolling Jimmy: I'm not C of E never mind that Jimmy: there's no god under my roof, girl Jimmy: never been Janis: Lucky you Janis: we're not all #blessed Jimmy: 🎻 Jimmy: my dad will love to hear that we are, tah Janis: welcome Janis: way too soon to attempt impressing parents but clearly that overachiever Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: bring that enthusiasm to my counter, babe Janis: hot Jimmy: like you said, bar's low Janis: low enough you reckon i'm hopping my arse up on it for you, apparently Jimmy: why not? Janis: depends Janis: is it a challenge Jimmy: You gonna accept it if it is? Janis: Obviously Janis: 🥇 Jimmy: Go on then, thrill me, Justine Janis: Easy Jimmy: Easy for you to say now, yeah Janis: Easy for you to chat back now too Jimmy: I'll pretend to like it, difficult as that'll be Jimmy: So doesn't matter Janis: you need me, remember that Jimmy: I've not forgotten Jimmy: don't need to kiss your arse before you get here though Janis: no one's asking you to go that far, tah Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: well you never answered how far you DO want me to Janis: Don't be stupid Jimmy: Not #goals if you slap me in front of Mia, is it? Janis: Not for you anyway Jimmy: Draw me the line Jimmy: I won't cross it Jimmy: Not hard Janis: You're not thick, no sense doing anything more than what's appropriate for the audience, like Janis: why do I have to spell it out Jimmy: 'Cause you hate her Jimmy: So how much do you? Janis: How much do I hate her? Janis: That's a question and then some, like Jimmy: I can make it as hot and her as jealous as you want Jimmy: Like you said, not thick Janis: Yeah? Jimmy: Do the same for me if I ask Jimmy: & yeah Janis: Alright Jimmy: 👌 Janis: I'm here Janis: be hot Jimmy: 🔥🎆🚒 Janis: Oh my God, you actual loser 😏 Jimmy: don't call me a loser when I'm about to help you win Janis: okay okay, teamwork, yeah? Jimmy: I've been putting in work you ain't even asked for being 😍 at my phone this whole time so she knows its you Jimmy: pull your weight, dickhead Janis: admire the dedication Jimmy: match it then Janis: oi 💪 always Jimmy: 🥇 yeah? Janis: Too right Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [After] Janis: Is your phone blowing up too or am I just the un🍀 one? Jimmy: my co-workers are Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: you could be in with some of 'em now for real Janis: Good stuff, secondary goal achieved too Janis: Go us Jimmy: Mia's not gonna put us on blast like a new wave gossip girl, is she? Jimmy: Do without my sister seeing any of that Janis: I don't reckon she would, she shouldn't seem as invested as she is, not cool Janis: she's just shown her little mates, Grace included Jimmy: 👌 Jimmy: keep your win without me whinging then Janis: Just get her done for making material with minors in if she does, problem solved 🤷 Janis: not taking my 🥇 Jimmy: we gonna cool things off for not looking to keen or go all in with first date bollocks? Janis: I mean, probably occupy their tiny minds for a bit but leave it too long and I go back to looking #desperate so Janis: still up for going ahead whenever you are Jimmy: day or two? Jimmy: made me want you for a bit but not too long Janis: Cool Janis: I'd buy it Jimmy: more like two and you can act like I'm blowing your phone up Jimmy: tilt your screen 🙄 Janis: For sure Janis: hmu with those 'wyd' texts Jimmy: & impressive selfies Jimmy: you ain't the only one capable Janis: mhmm show me what i'm missing 😏 Jimmy: 🤤 Jimmy: you ran off so quick we didn't take any coupley ones #rookie mistake Jimmy: remind me next time Janis: you know, own personal photographer and hater in one with mia Janis: even if she ain't thinking of my angles Jimmy: she didn't get mine either Jimmy: 💔 Janis: honestly, talk about distracted on the job Jimmy: some people, mate Jimmy: have you looked though? did the job for us Jimmy: & livened up her story Janis: Welcome, if I had to see another generic selfie from her 🔫 Janis: Who knew I was so popular? Jimmy: Me, that's why we're 💕 Janis: All part of the masterplan Janis: I'll skillfully ignore these DM requests, like Jimmy: we've made our point Jimmy: slide into as many DMs as you like, darling Janis: 👍 tah Janis: least let you get a date in, kinda the point Jimmy: point is, you're not gay & I'm not interested in what Mia & co are offering Jimmy: but I won't deprive you of a date now, that'd be so snide Janis: 🙄 gracious Jimmy: we don't have to sit through a whole shit film, do we? Jimmy: as long as we check in & our audience know we're there Janis: you gotta be home by 9 anyway so Jimmy: Mia's not gonna like turn up in shades to watch us in the back row now she'd had a glimpse Jimmy: 'Cause I wanna just eat Janis: Got enough wank bank material keep her going Janis: let's just eat then, I don't care, never nothing good on anyway Jimmy: where's good grub wise? I ain't been nowhere yet Janis: I know places, I'll pick somewhere actually decent, not just #goals Janis: just don't tell my Dad Jimmy: 😍😍😍 tah bae Jimmy: what's your dad gonna do if I chat to him about decent food? Janis: chat how his is better and no one needs a first date at their own dad's restaurant Janis: never mind a fake one Jimmy: 💔 gutted Jimmy: I could've made a 🔥 first impression for you, girl Janis: 😂 gone to your head, lad Janis: don't need to impress him, or any of 'em Jimmy: could though Jimmy: multi talented Jimmy joined the chat 7 hours ago Janis: and the oscar goes to Janis: keep your talents away from my fam, tah Jimmy: Alright, Jackie, you've got a deal Janis: careful, make a habit of it Jimmy: gotta for as long as you need me Janis: 💕 Jimmy: then I'll bin school off & go hollywood 😎 Janis: See no flaws in the plan Janis: big enough town I can go too and blank ya or? Janis: any out, like Jimmy: I'm no expert but I'd guess yeah Janis: Did you just admit you don't know everything? Janis: Omg, definitely isn't you Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: You're the one who tries to chat that you do Janis: I don't try, I just do, babe Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: We were having a moment plotting our new life & you had to be a dickhead Jimmy: ruin everything you Janis: You have to warn me when we're having moments Janis: I wasn't on, God Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: Used it all up for Mia Janis: real love of my life, naturally 😒 Jimmy: You crush me, Josie Janis: I know, I know Janis: I did warn you Jimmy: Make it up to me by naming a decent pub Jimmy: I need somewhere to go after work Janis: Whelan's is a decent shout Jimmy: 👍 Janis: for your vibe Janis: lots of leather, lots of indie but the craic is actually decent and it ain't tourist hell so Jimmy: I'll let you know if you're right Jimmy: know you can't wait to find out Janis: Hanging on the phone, like 🖕 Jimmy: If I find any girls irresistible I'll keep it off the 'gram, don't worry Janis: 👍 Jimmy: this shift is dragging after Mia gate Jimmy: if I text her will she come back? Janis: You mean they're ripping the piss too hard Janis: Obviously she would but can you not Jimmy: leave it out Jimmy: I've handled worse from you Janis: Brave boy Jimmy: Don't join in Jimmy: not an invite Janis: alright alright Janis: is the fit one invited whelan's with you or nah? i need to know if he's got enough bants or what Jimmy: weren't planning on inviting any of 'em soz to 💔 Janis: least i know he's free Jimmy: keep winning today Jimmy: you're welcome, babe Janis: You know Janis: couldn't have done it without you Jimmy: coulda asked your fave barista Jimmy: next time he'll be well ready to take you up on it Janis: not got a dealwith him, have i Jimmy: wouldn't be hard to make one Jimmy: you've got his attention & I can give you his details Janis: don't be a dick Jimmy: What? Janis: Not fir hire Janis: I'm helping you out because you're helping me out, that's it Janis: it ain't that Jimmy: If you like him, get with him Janis: Maybe I will but don't concern yourself with the set-up Jimmy: I'm helping you out 'cause you helped me out, that's it Janis: Well don't Jimmy: Alright Janis: Have a good night 👍 Jimmy: 👌 Janis: [sends restaurant deets] Janis: shall I book this or not? Jimmy: Yeah Jimmy: I'm working 'til 6 but I'll get ready here & come straight to get you Janis: K Janis: See you then then, just bring your selfie A game Jimmy: just get my good side Janis: 📸 or 👊? Jimmy: depends what mood you're in, Jill Jimmy: guess we'll find out Janis: depends on how much of a pain in my are you plan on being Jimmy: depends what kind of day I've had Jimmy: & how much of a dickhead you plan on being Janis: isn't that just my natural state of being Jimmy: when you're chatting yeah Janis: Backatcha Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: better at not Jimmy: but don't need to tell you that after earlier Janis: shame, really Jimmy: why? Janis: That we have to talk to make this thing believable Janis: trust, I'd rather just the other too Jimmy: I can piss off Jimmy: it's believable now Jimmy: don't have to keep chatting away Janis: You said you'd make me look good, and I so do not right now, so you can't get out of it yet Jimmy: I made you look great Jimmy: rewatch the story Jimmy: & what I'm chatting is, some couples barely do, so we don't have to Janis: other lads who want the same, i grant you but you miss all the comments calling me a slag or what Janis: obvs, i ain't trying to keep you Jimmy: I'll follow through, we've got a deal Jimmy: but you don't have to have me as your specialist subject on a quiz show Janis: piss off Janis: i ain't them or tryna be so don't play like i am Jimmy: Ask me what you need & then we don't have to talk for ages Jimmy: job done Janis: I have, where's the bit where I'm asking you 'bout the weather? Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: Jesus Jimmy: he don't exist to me, remember? Jimmy: you gotta listen if you wanna keep this believable, girl Janis: not my specialist  subject, babe Jimmy: 💔 Janis: 🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕 Jimmy: lovely you are Jimmy: remind me to take you home to meet the parents ASAP Janis: yeah thank fuck it ain't real, right Jimmy: if it were I wouldn't offer Janis: if you're trying to put me off, I already know you're a dick Janis: it's not necessary Jimmy: trying to put them off Jimmy: one dinner with you & I wouldn't have to be at the next however many Jimmy: 👍 Janis: 💔 too bad that ain't part of the deal then Jimmy: could be? Jimmy: You agreed to go all in for me when I asked Jimmy: like I did for you with Mia Janis: Ha, you wanna live to regret it just name the time, mate Jimmy: I'll let you know when the next family dinner is Jimmy: My dad's due a new girlfriend about now Janis: I'll do my best not to seduce her Jimmy: Don't let me stop you Jimmy: 'ave your fun while you can, he don't keep 'em long Janis: Gutting, no doubt Jimmy: for who? Jimmy: don't reckon anyone's 💔 Janis: Yeah, I gathered Janis: well not really a sloppy seconds kinda girl but if there's no love lost and that's what you want, like Janis: done is done Jimmy: 💕 last great romantic you Janis: Let it be known Jimmy: hang on, I'll tweet it Janis: 😏 as far as subtweets go, I'm getting worse, babe Jimmy: 🎻 Janis: Just saying, up your game, boy Jimmy: What you want me to do, tweet you a nude? Jimmy: Calm down, Jen Janis: I know even you ain't that cocky, no pun intended, new boy Jimmy: Nah? Janis: Nah, all chat Janis: like I said, sad, really 😥 Jimmy: Hold on, the lighting in here is shit Janis: 😂 #priorities Jimmy: [tweets it 'cos I'll never actually find one] Janis: as if you actually did that Jimmy: when I get snatched by a man with a van full of sweets, on your head Janis: 💔 i'll use that picture on the posters, like Jimmy: edit the lighting tah Jimmy: still shit Janis: you tryna be an insta model or what, mate Jimmy: could be Jimmy: you ain't paying me for my time, rich girl Janis: those skinny tea #ads will be coming in no time Jimmy: 💔 locked out of my account so I'll never know what my Juliet tweeted me back Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: not a nude back so you ain't missing anything good Jimmy: course of true love & all that Jimmy: still gutted Janis: I'll compile screenshots of the most blatant thirsty hoes, can go over 'em on our date Janis: don't say I never do nothing for you Jimmy: 😍😍😍 Jimmy: making me fall hard for you, babe Janis: I know, gift and a curse, truly Jimmy: its the gym clothes Jimmy: could've warned me Janis: 😏 you never seen a bitch in a sports bra Jimmy: nah Jimmy: its too cold up north for owt like that Janis: 😂 running in all your layers Jimmy: spot on Janis: know it's grim but the sweat would be no joke Janis: dirrrrrty Jimmy: I ain't a runner & I don't know any Jimmy: take your word, mate Jimmy: kills me getting the dog out Janis: all them 🚬 Janis: not a stalker, 'fore you start Janis: tasted 'em second-hand, bit rude Jimmy: 💀💀💀💀 Jimmy: if you get cancer of the 👅 bill me for your medical Janis: 💕 true love Janis: resisted the urge to tell a rich bitch to pay for her own if she hates dying so much and everything, so proud Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: one make out sesh & I'm a changed man, baby #your influence Janis: so gonna quote that on twitter, really shame you now you ain't about to stop me 😈 Jimmy: 'ave at it Jimmy: gimme more warning next time & 🚭 for real though Janis: Better than teacher coffee breath, which is what I was mentally preparing for tbh Jimmy: brutal Jimmy: actually 💔 me now Janis: It's good Janis: you ain't as much of a filthy hipster as I reckoned Jimmy: On the level, Janet, I don't like coffee Jimmy: just need it sometimes 😫 Jimmy: kinda like you & I Janis: No judgment, boy Janis: all got our vices but at the price CG is selling, you'd be better off getting proper amphetamines Jimmy: staff discount is mint Jimmy: but tah for the concern Janis: that's me Janis: lovely Jimmy: had 'em as a kid anyway before I outgrew it Jimmy: nowt to shout 'bout Janis: Good to know you ain't that kinda #cringe Jimmy: what kind? Janis: the 'thinks getting off his face is a personality trait' kind Janis: do what you gotta but don't be tryna act like it should wow me, you know Jimmy: yeah Jimmy: my ex was a bit of that, in the end Janis: yeah, lots are, all fun and games 'til it ain't then it's like a constant fucking comedown or they can't hack it Jimmy: nothing close to fun & games up north, mate, only grim, remember? 🎻🎻🎻 Jimmy: anyway she's got a kid now so clean up or fuck up Janis: 😬 Oosh Janis: you're not a runaway baby daddy, are you Jimmy: nah Janis: 🍀 Jimmy: friend of her dad's, I think Janis: Nice Janis: not gross at all, sir Jimmy: Like I said, grim Janis: not any better here let's be real Janis: not all little gingers and pots of gold Jimmy: don't tell my dad he moved us here 🤞 Jimmy: and so I wouldn't gatecrash her wedding & offer to raise her kid but neither here nor there Janis: 🤐 Janis: gutting, i doubt her dad's mate is minted or hot Jimmy: he ain't Jimmy: he's 45, works in a factory, smokes more and gyms less than me Jimmy: but my dad is 'bout a year behind the times Jimmy: too late for my objections 💔 Janis: oh girl, no Janis: tragedy all 'round Jimmy: she's on my friend's list if you wanna give her the orchestra Janis: don't worry, entertained enough by my fans rn Janis: don't need to passive-aggressively ruin the poor bitch for the lols Jimmy: so sad to be missing out Janis: you're sorely missed, i promise you Janis: not by me, obvs but you know Jimmy: who by? Jimmy: can't fake it forever, can I? Jimmy: gotta get a real girl one day Janis: You can't wait 'til the date for the list I ALREADY promised yas? Jimmy: I told you this shift is dragging it's arse, Judith Janis: you got tinder downloaded? no doubt sly bitches are swarming already Jimmy: nah but probably should Jimmy: if its that or tell you more of my origin story Janis: I ain't asking, batman, chill out Jimmy: but I'm chatting Jimmy: fuck knows why I've said what I've already said Janis: don't matter, who am I telling? Jimmy: twitter for all I know Janis: nah Janis: give me some credit Janis: not funny, for starters, like Jimmy: story of my life Jimmy: there's a joke in there somewhere Janis: 🎻 Janis: they ain't ready for the inside joke that is Jimmy: I'm still not inviting any other dickheads but come for a drink tonight if you want Janis: Alright Janis: devvo all my besties ain't gona be there but you'll do Jimmy: you can bring whoever I'm just saying I ain't Janis: I'm good Janis: not dealing with the disappointment when he realizes it ain't a threesome with ya Jimmy: #my influence Janis: Truly, babe Janis: with bad lighting and all 🔥 Jimmy: I could've done better but you put me on the spot Janis: 😂 it's alright, couldn't see it, you don't have to hit me with performance excuses yet Jimmy: or ever Jimmy: you're faking it & telling me you are Jimmy: #goals Janis: so much easier Jimmy: so convincing earlier I'm wondering if my ex ever wanted to kiss me 💔🎻💔 Janis: leave it a few 'til you ring her asking Janis: least you can be/pretend to be pissed Jimmy: don't wanna know Janis: unless her type is exclusively really undesirable old blokes Janis: you're fine Jimmy: maybe it is & you're being catfished Jimmy: look like a teen, am in my 40s Janis: I mean, I'm good, I'll call the garda and get mad sympathy and compensation Janis: can't lose, baby Jimmy: stick with me, Janine Janis: why not Jimmy: you don't even have to kiss me tonight Jimmy: wins keep coming Janis: 🍀 Janis: born with it Jimmy: maybe its leprechauns Janis: 😂 Jimmy: if you're Irish why are you so tall? Jimmy: shatters my illusions Janis: Half Brazilian too, and quarter plain old English scum Jimmy: you're a smoothie of a girl Jimmy: lovely Janis: Steady on 😬 call me exotic and stick me on the menu whilst you're at it Jimmy: be better than what's on Jimmy: you taste better than you chat Janis: ha Janis: dread to think how we're representing english in a smoothie...like, blended fry-up or what? Jimmy: tea? Janis: You know I'm actually Scouse with it so maybe you just wanna chop me up and use my blood, like Janis: 😬 #awks Jimmy: Yeah? Jimmy: must be why we have such an affinity Janis: that what we're calling it? 😏 Jimmy: what do you wanna label it? Jimmy: fake chemistry? Janis: Famistry sounds ridiculous Janis: serious suggestions only please Jimmy: sounds like we're gonna do blood tests & tell people their family trees Janis: 💸 Janis: only if i can tell people they're adopted or their uncle is their dad Janis: spice things up Jimmy: only if I can make a smoothie to represent them at the end Janis: 🎨 #artiste Jimmy: fuck mia, if I text you will you come back Jimmy: bored Janis: really? you let me get home before deciding this? 🙄 Janis: and you've sent me/twitter the nude already, how mind-blowing is this text gonna be, like 😏 Jimmy: is that a challenge or a flat out nah Janis: When you working 'til, like 6? Jimmy: Yep Janis: if we're going pub after anyway, guess I could come that bit earlier, what's it matter, like Janis: go forth and text impress, boy Jimmy: walk me, you romantic Jimmy: 💕 Janis: real old school Janis: you want flowers so you can really make all the other lads jealous or what Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: with this hayfever? you're alright Janis: 😍 sexy Janis: can't hack a bit of pollen, love that for you Jimmy: piss off Janis: 😂 Janis: poor boy, stick to getting the pints in, yeah? Jimmy: it's my #excuse for the fans for why you ain't getting no 🎕 Jimmy: & yeah Janis: literally what are you meant to do with 'em anyway Janis: waste Jimmy: watch 'em die Jimmy: like the feelings you caught for the wrong bae Janis: deep 🚬 Jimmy: gonna be a twitter poet if I ever get my account back Janis: i can see it Janis: gonna have to chuck you before then Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: [okay but sends her a really hot sext cos challenge accepted from a moment ago but I can't write it cos I'm me, myself & I so imagine] Jimmy: Screenshot that for me 'til then Janis: 😳 Janis: You want me to get suspended for your filth too? Jimmy: censor it if you must Janis: you can't censor #art babe Jimmy: 💕 Janis: Done Jimmy: with me or my artistic flair? Janis: I screenshotted it Jimmy: I wasn't serious Jimmy: but join me on the ban list I guess Janis: I'll delete it Janis: I did some generous cropping anyway Jimmy: leave it Jimmy: don't wanna look like you regret your choices Jimmy: not #goals Janis: soz Jimmy: nah you're not Janis: i mean, again warn a bitch when it's a joke, yeah Jimmy: I sound good what do I care? Janis: exactly, nothing but favours Jimmy: for you too Jimmy: not gonna look desperate waiting on that date now, are you? Janis: you want a thank you or? Jimmy: I want a fucking drink but I'm too keen Jimmy: not time yet Janis: 'less you're buzzing for another smoothie Jimmy: tasted enough of yours tah Janis: no room to complain Janis: you made it, ash tray Jimmy: I wasn't Jimmy: calm down, rich girl, you're supposed to be nice to your servers now Janis: You reckon I ain't been nice enough to you for one day? Jimmy: depends Jimmy: If I say nah are you gonna be nicer or meaner? Janis: See how I'm feeling, I guess Janis: and how much of a dickhead you're being 😜 Jimmy: 💔 deep wounds Jimmy: you've got the wrong fake boyfriend 'cause I would obviously not act like that towards you, Judy Janis: 😏 my mistake Janis: jog my memory, which one are you then? Jimmy: northern prince charming 💕 Jimmy: gets banned from twitter for you, makes you personalised drinks, hates the same people you hate Janis: Ahh, him Jimmy: what do you drink anyway? feel like I should know even if this round's off the 'gram Janis: Have whatever you're having Janis: not tryna be that easy but I don't drink often enough to be arsed Janis: don't feel special, like Jimmy: Actually so romantic though 😍 Janis: 🖕 shh Jimmy: it's pints either lager, ales or snakebite/snakebite & black Jimmy: I'll let you pick 'cause I am too Janis: twitter feed been knew and blessed, babe Janis: go 🐍 Janis: seems fitting Jimmy: how did you guess I saved the best for last? Janis: The affinity, obviously Jimmy: don't feel special but you're less of a dickhead today Janis: This is like the second time you've spoke to me, judgy cunt 😂 Jimmy: I've had a month of silent judgement going Janis: Well, how can I not feel special now, eh Jimmy: on everyone not just you Jimmy: but yeah if I'd known all I had to do was stage an elaborate fake kiss to make you specifically less annoying then Janis: spoilsport Janis: 😑 Jimmy: I know 💔 Janis: Something like that Janis: twat Jimmy: What? Jimmy: I was giving you a real compliment Janis: Yeah yeah Janis: save it for the 'gram lover boy Jimmy: 😭 Janis: need a drink in you immediately Janis: soft cunt Jimmy: immediately after I get changed out of this uniform 💔 for you Janis: i ain't complaining Janis: EXACTLY what we mean when we say love a man in uniform, right ladies 😍 Jimmy: it gets you going, I felt it Jimmy: or you wanna admit to that just being me? 💕 Janis: nah Janis: 100% the apron and promise of the decent discount Jimmy: Knew it Janis: should be glad, like Jimmy: why? Janis: don't want me falling for you, nightmare Jimmy: better than your sister Jimmy: marginally Jimmy: or are you an entirely different girl when it's real 💘? Janis: fuck you fucking marginally, you can say no tah without associating me with her Janis: guess we'll never know Janis: 💔 tragedy Jimmy: not directly Jimmy: I'm sure I'll see it on the 'gram when you're doing this all for real Janis: knew it Janis: #stalkeebecomesthestalker Jimmy: it's my destiny Jimmy: obsessed with you, Juliet Janis: One fake kiss and it's a done deal Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: gift and curse Janis: will be more careful next time i fake date, tah for the experience, like Jimmy: 👍 Janis: Apparently they're having an emergency sleepover at ours tonight... Janis: my sister fully wants me dead, bye 😂 Jimmy: do you have somewhere else you can sleep or is it a one eye open job? Janis: I'll go to my Grandparents Janis: don't need to wake up to them in my face ready to sacrifice me or whatever nah Jimmy: We could say we're having our own emergency sleepover Jimmy: really put the nail in your coffin Janis: 😂 Janis: amazing Jimmy: what's more goals than sleeping with you and still taking you out to dinner, yeah? Jimmy: You're a really good lay, have a steak 😍 you know Janis: you've got a point Janis: beats a text back, like Jimmy: I often do, dickhead, catch up Jimmy: you can stay here if you think it'll get back to the oracle that you weren't Jimmy: here being my house not this 2nd home, don't sleep at the CG, I would be sacked Janis: 🖕 Firstly Janis: Secondly, probably for the best or we'll have start faking the noises and I don't trust them to not wanna go whole hog and watch Janis: the one with the bog eye gonna put me off Janis: soz hun Janis: lastly it's really fucked with my fantasy that you don't tbh, least keep the little hat on Jimmy: my room's a box, that gonna be a problem for you, rich girl? Janis: I'm an actual basement dweller, it's fine Jimmy: My dad is Jimmy: you'll get on like a house on 🔥 Janis: do my best to avoid him even if the walk of shame is fake, he's not gonna know that Jimmy: might fall for him, have a baby & get married Jimmy: happens more than you'd reckon Janis: 🤢 Janis: not my speed Janis: no offense old man Jimmy: for the best, I look nothing like him Jimmy: & I'm your type so Janis: Obviously Jimmy: I'll be in with my brother, knock on the wall if you need owt Jimmy: another fake kiss, a twitter ban, whatever Janis: 🙄 Clearly you don't me but I trust you to control yourself, you know Janis: don't need to exile yourself on my behalf, like Jimmy: If I don't it'll be three in a bed Jimmy: you don't want that Janis: Ah right, fair play Janis: thought the poor bastard might be like 12 or whatever and like piss off jim Jimmy: my sister is Jimmy: ignore her, she'll fuck you up 🥊 Janis: Noted 😏 Jimmy: could be gay & fall in love with you Jimmy: #awkward Janis: I'll calm down how hot I am Janis: apart from that, just a rabid dog too, yeah? Jimmy: It'd be a way to find out 'cause she's never said but probably best if you look as ugly as possible Jimmy: for all our sakes Jimmy: & its only a puppy, you'll survive Janis: Outing your sister is deffo not part of the deal, no Janis: I'm great with dogs Jimmy: Yeah? Take it with you Jimmy: None of us want it Janis: Awh don't be horrible Jimmy: I'm not Jimmy: we don't Janis: um why'd you get it Jimmy: guilt gift for moving to a new country when its not even the start of the school year Jimmy: we weren't asked, I'd have voted for a better telly or summat Janis: ahh, the infinite wisdom of parents Janis: what you need is more pressure and responsibility at a time like that, for sure Jimmy: probably ask my sister if you're taking it & not her off into the sunset too Jimmy: she hates it least Janis: I would but we're not allowed dogs Janis: Mum's a mad cat lady Janis: probably just needs a bit of training, that's all, it'll be more bearable then Jimmy: 💔 gutted for myself more than you Janis: I'll show you how it's done Janis: My Grandparents have a dog and it was lowkey feral before I started Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: before or after you fake seduce me Janis: Hmm, it's hardly foreplay but the first thing I wanna do after a ride is not go to the park, like Janis: save it for another day, boy Janis: so keen Jimmy: busy night this Jimmy: all I'm thinking Janis: 😏 If you can't keep up say now baby Jimmy: piss off Janis: 😂 disappoint me later, fine Jimmy: fake disappointment won't hurt Janis: had worse Jimmy: me too Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: duet Janis: lovely Jimmy: this might be too much to ask but as far as my sister goes, we're dating for real, alright Jimmy: my brother too if he speaks to you but unlikely Janis: yeah, 'course, I get it Janis: they don't need to know and you don't want them too Janis: if mine knew any boundaries I'd be the same Jimmy: tah Jimmy: they should be asleep when we get back from the pub 🤞 Jimmy: but I know better Janis: 👍 Janis: capable of not being a dick when required, honest Jimmy: disappoint me later, fine 😂 Janis: cheek Janis: i can be a dick to you all i like Janis: not actual innocent children Jimmy: You can be a dick to my dad too, as much as you like Jimmy: I encourage it Janis: Good to know Janis: like you reckoned, doubt I'm a parent pleaser Jimmy: He won't be nice to you so don't be 💔 'bout not winning him 'round Janis: s'alright, even if you gotta tell your sister we're actually dating, not like I expect your Da to buy it Jimmy: it's 'cause he'll buy it that he won't Jimmy: He's the only one allowed to look for happiness in the arms of whoever Janis: I feel you Janis: and I'm offering neither, such a shame, coulda been such good mates Jimmy: gotta get this orchestra on wheels Jimmy: me arms are tired from the in & out Janis: 😒 stamina who Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: so worried 'bout my fake stamina Jimmy: I can go all night when I'm pretending, babe Janis: 😂 whatta claim Jimmy: how do you wanna out us to the world though? Jimmy: play coy like we were pretending we didn't but still got caught or be brazen about me fake rocking your world? Janis: I don't think coy is gonna look very real after all this Janis: not saying we need to announce it to the whole world but you know Jimmy: so pub pics & morning after? Jimmy: let them do the work Janis: Exactly Jimmy: walk this fucking dog with me Jimmy: if that ain't #goals it should be so I don't have to do it Janis: it's a puppy, bitches loves puppies Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: don't know if she'd fit in a handbag Janis: do I look like I'm bringing a handbag Jimmy: just saying fuck knows if she's #goals Jimmy: too late to swap her if she ain't Janis: send me a pic Janis: you must have one Jimmy: on my phone Jimmy: why? Jimmy: hang on, maybe if one of us is also in it Janis: 💔🐶 Jimmy: [sends a pic of Twix and Bobby 'cause it'd show how old he is & how that don't add up to his behavior as has been mentioned so Janis like hmmm] Janis: Adorable Janis: Can work with that Jimmy: 👍 Janis: you want me to come in or meet you there Janis: just got into town Jimmy: meet me there, your fave barista's gone home already Janis: you don't even know which one I think is fit Janis: shameless Jimmy: Yeah I do Janis: if you say you I swear down Jimmy: 😂 Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: for real though Jimmy: its Pete Janis: Which one is that? I've not read all your nametags and you swap 'em anyways #bants Jimmy: not knowing names is my thing Jimmy: try again Janis: 😒 really Jimmy: Am I right or not? Jimmy: nowt hard about the question Janis: Why's it even matter Janis: shut up Jimmy: if it don't, answer it Jimmy: you're making it more of a thing Janis: you're the one banging on about it still Jimmy: come on, Janis Janis: Fine, it's him Janis: not like that's a declaration of love Jimmy: you're not the only one who can screenshot Jimmy: can be if needs Janis: die literally Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: love you too Janis: 🖕 Janis: what was i meant to do whilst i was hanging around the other day, like Janis: rank the shitty drinks or what Jimmy: lust after pete was the only idea that landed 👌 Janis: actual idiot Jimmy: now I know I can be more like him, make things easier for you to fake Jimmy: actual idiot is top one Janis: remind me never to tell you anything ever again 😑 Jimmy: bit snide when you know loads bout me now but alright Jimmy: 👍 Janis: If you wanna know anything actual, just ask Janis: you coming out with bait questions like which barista is the least offensive on the eyes so Jimmy: whatever, I don't Janis: 👍 Jimmy: Just be better at my angles than Mia Jimmy: 'cause I'm on route Janis: like it's hard Jimmy: after that 🥇 all times you Jimmy: I remember Janis: ain't offering a reminder, so good Jimmy: 💔💔💔💔 Jimmy: don't change your mind when you see how I look #awks Janis: 🙄 Please Jimmy: #pete who Janis: 💀kill me now Jimmy: if you die now you can't go to heaven by calling me pete when we fake fuck? 🎻 hang on in there, baby Janis: Literally gonna leave if you don't shut it Jimmy: tragedy Jimmy: I'm not gonna keep you against your will, not what this is Janis: getting a round out of you first, you invited me Jimmy: you can uninvite me or yourself any time Janis: behave Jimmy: 💔 too late Janis: Come on Jimmy: I don't run, I told you Jimmy: going as fast as I can Janis: the real tragedy Jimmy: not gonna make me learn the violin for real but 👌 Janis: least you don't need lungs for it Janis: fucked if you were planning to take up the sax Jimmy: #savage Janis: true though Janis: deal with it, baby Jimmy: funnily enough my life aint destroyed by a lack of sax Jimmy: change a letter & maybe Janis: alright, dad Janis: such jokes Jimmy: 😎 Jimmy: get what you pay for, rich girl Jimmy: this is my lowest tier banter like Janis: feel sorry for the poor bitches doing it just 'cos then Janis: fuck me Jimmy: start a # Jimmy: you love 'em Janis: obvs Janis: any cause Jimmy: raise enough, rehome my dog Janis: actually gonna have to call animal welfare ain't I Jimmy: yeah go on Janis: don't be heartless Janis: could get given to someone worse Jimmy: 😂 Janis: 💔 Jimmy: could get eaten by leprechauns Jimmy: cheer up, Jasmine Janis: say you love her, like Janis: go on Jimmy: why do you want me to lie to you? Jimmy: we at that stage already? Janis: yeah Janis: clearly Janis: make me feel so much better and really what's important here? Jimmy: I 💘🐶 Jimmy: screenshot it if you want Janis: Good enough Janis: and not gonna make a habit of it Jimmy: which bit, asking me to lie or taking screenshots? Janis: I meant the screenshots but I'll think about the lying Janis: Hmm Jimmy: I'm not really gonna dob you into Pete Janis: Duh, you've got nothing to say Jimmy: Bollocks Jimmy: but I don't wanna talk to him Jimmy: keep your sacred tools Janis: Me either Janis: shatter the illusion Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: I know what you wanna do Janis: ew Janis: i said he was fit not that Jimmy: ⬆ standards, right Janis: fuck off Jimmy: alright Jimmy: not through the doors yet so easy Janis: don't be dramatic Janis: just stop talking about him i ain't interested Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: what Jimmy: nowt Janis: alright Jimmy: 🚬 Jimmy: you coming out or staying in? Janis: gonna twos it Jimmy: is that a question or #couple goals Janis: a question, i don't think anyone's glamourized smoking in about 100 years Jimmy: I can Jimmy: If you want Janis: Yeah Janis: Go on then Jimmy: 👍

[punkscowardschampions]

Buster & Rio

Buster: How much money do you have? Rio: Um, I can check my balance now Rio: Why? Buster: Let's just go straight from the spa, yeah? Buster: We can put all our shit in the car and just head to the airport when we're done Rio: I'm okay with that Rio: Where's the big rush come from though? Buster: My mum is gonna cut me off when we get back from Brazil so we might as well go now while we've got the most funds Rio: Wait Rio: what Rio: she said that? why, what happened? Buster: She didn't need to Buster: She went off on a big enough rant about how I spend my money wrong Buster: And she's said enough times that she doesn't want me to marry you so Buster: It's the next logical step Rio: Jesus Rio: What are you going to do? Buster: Like I said, we should go as soon as Rio: Are you sure? Buster: Yeah Buster: Do you not want to? Rio: I mean, of course I do Rio: but I want you to have time to think about this Rio: you don't have to rush Buster: Think about what? Rio: About what you're going to do Rio: about your ma, like Buster: Nothing's changed Buster: I'm gonna marry you, have our honeymoon and then go back to school for my exams Buster: If not before Rio: Yeah but Buster: But nothing Rio: Babe Rio: are you okay? Buster: 'Course Rio: It's okay if you aren't though Rio: It's really awful Buster: I'm not gonna cry about it Buster: She isn't Rio: Was she really awful? Buster: I mean, I've wasted 18 years of her life, who wouldn't be mad about that, like Rio: That's bullshit Rio: I can't believe she said that Rio: she doesn't mean it, she can't Buster: She does Rio: No Rio: I'm not having that Buster: Well, I'm not gonna fight with you about this Buster: It's done Rio: I'm not trying to fight you Buster: Then don't, just listen to what I'm telling you Rio: I am Rio: Tell me Buster: There's no fixing this Buster: So forget about her and focus on us Buster: What we're gonna do Rio: But I know you don't want it like this Buster: That's how it is Buster: I'm not gonna make myself unhappy for her Rio: There's no way we can fix this? Buster: I could go back to school and wait a decade to marry you Buster: Is that what you want? Rio: I mean Rio: Obviously not but if that's what you need to do Rio: I'm gonna be okay with it and support you Buster: Fuck that Buster: What about what I want? Buster: What you want Buster: I don't need her holding me to fucking ransom so I'll fall in line Buster: What the fuck is that Rio: I don't know what to say Rio: I'm so sorry Buster: Don't Buster: We haven't done anything wrong that's the whole point Rio: But it shouldn't be like this Rio: I wish it wasn't Buster: So let's leave it behind Buster: I love you Buster: Marry me Rio: I love you too baby Rio: What if it's always like this, what are we going to do? Buster: I don't need anyone or anything else if I've got you Buster: Seriously Rio: Yeah? Rio: Let's do it then Buster: Okay Rio: Have you hurt yourself at all, should I come back? Buster: I'm fine Buster: Stay Rio: Baby Rio: You know you can tell me anything yeah Buster: You should spend time with that lot before we leave Buster: We could be gone for a fortnight, like Rio: I want to be with you Buster: I'm right here, babe Rio: Yeah but you're hurting Rio: and I can't make it better from here Buster: But you are Rio: I am Rio: Good Buster: Don't you know you always do? Rio: I try but this is really shit Buster: It's whatever Buster: If my parents need to disown me to feel better they can Buster: It only makes a difference to my budget, like Rio: Maybe she was just angry Rio: We'll see, yeah? Buster: I have no doubt she was Buster: From the moment she ordered me on the next flight and I refused, if not before Rio: Yeah, that'd do it Rio: Why is it so important to her Rio: School, I mean Buster: I need it if I'm gonna make something of my life, apparently Buster: Bit rude, ain't it? Rio: I mean Rio: like maybe but you're not not going to do your exams Buster: She doesn't care Buster: She wants me away from you Buster: She thinks if it's hard enough we'll stop Rio: But we can't Rio: why does no one get that Buster: They don't want to understand Rio: This can't be any more fun for them than it is for us Buster: It's obviously not but the more they treat us like stupid kids who don't know what they're doing or want, the more they can dismiss us Buster: Like this will all just blow over and go back to how it was or some shit Rio: Fuck sake Rio: if it could've it would've by now Buster: Tell me something I don't know, babe Buster: Tell them too, if you want, but I'm sick of saying it Rio: Me too Rio: Let's just never come back, yeah Buster: Fine by me Buster: My mum doesn't reckon I can hack law school anyway so Rio: Well that's bullshit Rio: You're one of the hardest working people I've ever known Rio: You can do anything Buster: Yeah, well that was before I fell in love apparently Buster: Now I'm spending all my time wrong as well as their money Rio: Like you were doing a great job before??? Only books and healthy meals, like Rio: What Buster: I was a fuck up, sure, but I wasn't pathetic Buster: We are now, 'cause we can't deal with not seeing each other every second Buster: You can near enough direct quote that Rio: Wow Rio: She really went there then Rio: Christ Buster: And you think I'm charming, yeah? Rio: Does she mean it Rio: or is she just trying to say the things she knows will hit hardest Buster: I don't care Rio: Do you mean that? Buster: What does it matter Buster: It's been said regardless Rio: It matters to me Rio: I care what you feel Buster: I'm not gonna beg her to reconsider Buster: She feels how she feels and I feel how I feel Rio: I just want you to be happy Rio: Whatever that takes Buster: I'll be happy when you're my wife so Rio: It's happening Buster: Good Buster: Then I'm fine Rio: You will be Rio: I'll make sure of it Buster: Until then, I'm not drunk yet but I'm working on it Rio: Understandable Rio: Could use one myself now and I'm just hearing it second-hand Buster: Come pick me up later Buster: I'll add yours to my tab Rio: See Rio: Actually charming Buster: You make me want to be Rio: You are Rio: You can't even help it Buster: You're perfect and I'm glad you can't help that either Rio: Baby Rio: I'm going to tell you every good thing about you so you forget everything else Buster: You're cute Buster: You just want me to blush before you do Rio: Maybe Buster: I thought I was meant to be the one with a competitive streak Rio: I'm not being competitive Rio: You just look so pretty when you blush Buster: I do look good in pink Buster: Valid Rio: Exactly Rio: Almost as good as me but not being competitive with it Buster: You look better Buster: I'll gladly admit it Buster: You're so fucking beautiful in anything Rio: I love you so much Rio: We're gonna make a fucking beautiful man and wife, there I said it Buster: Yeah we are Buster: And we're gonna have beautiful babies one day Rio: Fuck Rio: Yeah we will, and you'll be the best Dad Buster: I'm gonna try Buster: If I do half as well as I know you will, I'll take it Rio: We'll be good Rio: Together Rio: We're the best team, yeah? Buster: Yeah Rio: You're going to feel so much better when you get on that beach, I promise Buster: I'll feel it once I'm on the plane Buster: I'd take a 24 hr flight over another day of this shit Rio: I feel it Rio: We can sleep most of the way there Rio: Not the whole time though Buster: I'll wear you out so you sleep well, don't worry Rio: That's why I said we can't sleep the whole time Rio: Great minds, babe Buster: 😏 Buster: Smart girl Rio: Hardly going to start making you wait now Buster: Good 'cause I can't wait to fuck you in first class Rio: 🤤 Rio: Yeah, I'm gonna feel soooo much better on the plane too Rio: can't we go now? Buster: Yeah we can Rio: I wish Rio: We've gotta go to the spa though Rio: Your sister is one of the only people supporting us fully right now Buster: I'll relax you there too if the treatments don't Rio: Yeah? Buster: 'Course Buster: You're gonna feel so good, babe Buster: Fuck everything else Rio: You too Rio: That's all I care about Buster: I know Buster: That's why I love you Buster: And why I'm gonna see how many times I can make you cum before we get kicked out of the spa for disturbing everyone else's relaxation Rio: Oh God Rio: I want you now Buster: Come find me Rio: 😒 I can't Rio: I let Mum and Dad get out for a bit, they've been so stressed Rio: Regretting that now Buster: You can still have me Rio: Yeah? Aren't you out right now? Buster: Yeah Buster: And? Rio: It's been that kind of day, true Rio: What can I do to help you unwind, daddy? Rio: Anything Buster: We'll have to be creative, won't we? But like I said, you're a smart girl Buster: I believe in you Buster: What do you have there to make yourself feel good? You know that's what I want Rio: You're so good to me Rio: I'm going to look Buster: Okay Buster: Pick whatever most reminds you of me Rio: 😩 Rio: Nothing is ever as good as you Buster: I know but if you try hard enough it'll be almost like I'm inside you Buster: You've got this, baby Buster: Just like old times, yeah? Rio: I'll go really hard Rio: I can't say I miss those times but remembering just how bad I wanted you is getting me ready for how big this toy is Buster: Yeah? Buster: I think I remember but I also think you should tell me Rio: When do you want me to tell you about? Rio: I've wanted you for so long Rio: After our kiss? When you started coming back 'round and you'd gotten hot? Or all of the not-quite moments that killed me? Buster: Jesus Buster: I wanna hear all of it Rio: You know the first time I ever touched myself I thought about you Buster: Seriously? Rio: Serious Rio: I didn't mean to really but when it started to feel good, I couldn't stop thinking about when you kissed me Rio: and it made it feel even better Buster: Fuck Buster: I just got hard Rio: Good Rio: I was so embarrassed the next time I saw you Rio: Thinking you'd know Buster: I can't believe I'm only just finding this out now Rio: I felt so dirty, baby Rio: but I couldn't stop, I touched myself every day thinking about you for so so long Buster: Me too Buster: Many times a day usually Rio: If I'd have known that then Rio: Jesus, I'd have died and gone to heaven, seriously Buster: I wish I could've told you how much you turned me on Buster: But at least I can say it now Rio: You can show me too Buster: Yeah Buster: Imagine if you'd caught me using your feed back then. My entire family nearly did so many times Rio: I would not have been mad Rio: You family would've been though 'cos if I knew for sure you liked me then, it would've happened so much sooner Buster: I wouldn't have been mad if it did Buster: Trust me Buster: You were so hot then and you're even hotter now Rio: I wish it had Rio: I wish you'd have taken my virginity Buster: Everyone's looking at me 'cause of how much that affected me Buster: Oh my god Rio: I would've done everything with you, baby Buster: Where can I buy a time machine, like? Buster: However much it is Rio: Seriously Rio: Thinking about it is getting me so close Buster: I would've treated you so right, you know Rio: I know Rio: Next time you fuck me can we pretend Buster: I need that Buster: As soon as we both get home Rio: I can't wait for you to show me how good sex can be Buster: You have to wait for me to sober up though, I want it to be perfect for you Rio: It's okay baby Buster: Don't worry, I'm not drunk, I promise Buster: And I'm stopping Buster: I'll be ready when you are Rio: We're making you feel better, remember Rio: Do whatever you wanna do Buster: It's exactly what I want Rio: You're gonna do all the things you dreamed about doing to me as a horny kid? Buster: You know it, babe Buster: Besides, if I don't get out of here you're gonna make me cum in front of everyone Rio: That's so fucking hot Rio: I wonder what everyone thinks Buster: They know what's happening Buster: You know I can't hide how much I want you Rio: When we get to Brazil you don't need to, you can fuck me on the beach, anywhere and everywhere Buster: I'm biting my lip so hard right now Rio: Me too Rio: Pablo has friends over, I've got to be quiet Buster: Fuck Buster: You know what that does to me Rio: I know you want them to hear me moaning for you so they know how bad I need you Buster: Baby Rio: Yes, Daddy? Buster: I need you too Buster: So bad Rio: I know Rio: I'm getting so ready for you Buster: Come here Rio: Where, baby? Buster: To me Rio: Are we going Home? Buster: I'll go anywhere you want Rio: Come here Rio: Fuck me in the room I fucked myself to the thought of you in Buster: Jesus Buster: Okay Buster: But if you keep being so fucking hot I won't make it Rio: I'm sorry but knowing you're hard right now makes me wanna get you off immediately it's just what I was born to do, like Buster: You're making me moan on my way out the door Buster: But even if you make me cum all over myself I'll get hard again by the time I walk through yours, you know that Buster: That's just how bad I want it Rio: I hope you always want me this bad Rio: You make me cum so many times before you do, it's so fucking Rio: you're so good, daddy Buster: You don't need to hope Buster: I will Buster: Same as loving you Buster: There's nothing you could do that'd make me want you any less Rio: Good because I need you Rio: Every day Buster: You've got me Buster: As many times a day as you need Rio: 😻 Rio: I can't wait 'til you live here always Buster: Me either Buster: You won't ever have to miss me, baby Rio: Good Rio: I've done enough for one lifetime, much too much Rio: You're mine now, whatever anyone says or thinks Buster: I'm all yours forever Buster: And you're mine Rio: Forever Rio: Going to have the ring and the paperwork to prove it soon but you already know Buster: I can't wait for everyone else to know it too Buster: Even though we don't have anything to prove Rio: Yeah Rio: Fuck everyone Rio: You're all I care about now Buster: I love you more than anything, Rio Rio: I love you, Buster Buster: You're so important Rio: You too Rio: And good and you're going to be great and I'l always tell you Rio: even if no one else does Buster: You're the best person I know or have ever met, seriously Rio: You're so cute Buster: It's true Buster: You actually can be or do anything Buster: I hope you know that Rio: I know I can do what I want to do if you're with me Buster: Good Rio: But so much of what I want to do is just be with you and love you and have a family with you, you know that, yeah? Rio: That'd be enough for me Buster: You're gonna make me cry Buster: Shh Rio: You're enough, Buster Rio: I can't stress how much I mean that, or how I'll never stop showing you that Buster: How could anyone be against this? You're the purest most loving fucking person Rio: Jealous, probably Rio: I don't know but I also know I'm sick of caring like it made me even a little happy, nevermind close to how happy you make me Buster: I feel the same Buster: I don't care if nobody else ever understands that 'cause I know you do Rio: I do Buster: I've run out of words Buster: I just want to be there with you now Rio: [Snap] Rio: Inspiration for you Buster: You can have loads of other sounds Buster: This cab driver did just hear them first, though Rio: Lucky 😒 Rio: Try not to be too jealous 😋 Buster: [Sends own pics] Buster: So you won't be Rio: Damn Rio: OKAY Rio: the driver better not be feeling you 'cos I need you here more than ever now Buster: If I could make him go any faster I would Buster: You've got me so close that even clothes are too much to deal with right now Rio: Okay but me when you get here Rio: And you've actually got to get all the way up the stairs for once Rio: my poor baby boy Buster: The things I do for you, babe Buster: The struggles Rio: Come on, you get my v card when you get here Rio: you know it's worth it Buster: You're always worth it Buster: Tell me about my glow up was I such an ugly kid before then or what, like? Rio: Don't be silly Rio: but we were kids, so as I was getting older and hadn't seen you properly for ages the memory became more of a cute kid than someone I could fuck myself thinking about, you know Rio: then you came around again, I can't even remember what the occasion was and you were like Rio: a man, I guess, cringe to say Rio: but you were so hot and grown and it was like, here we go again Buster: Oh Buster: Well, shit Buster: Sorry, like Rio: What are you saying sorry for? Buster: Being hot enough to wanna fuck without letting you actually Buster: I know what that feels like 'cause I had it whenever I saw you Rio: Oh, well, you're making up for it now Rio: But yeah Rio: that started the blatant jealousy phase Buster: Thank god we didn't go to school together Buster: I'd have had to kill any lad that looked at you Buster: It would have been exhausting and constant Rio: I know, right? Rio: Think I'm a distraction now Buster: I remember when I first saw you around that same time Buster: My mum thinks I'm pathetic now Buster: I fucking forgot how to breathe, I swear Rio: Baby Rio: We honestly deserve medals for how long we fought that shit because seriously Rio: I could've had you right there and then Buster: I wish Buster: I'd never seen a real person who looks that good before and all these years later I'm still like Buster: Speechless and breathless for you Rio: I don't know what to say to that Buster: You don't have to say anything Buster: I just want you to know Rio: Now I'm gonna cry, like Buster: It blows my mind that loads of other people haven't told you any of this Rio: Why would anyone Rio: Sure no one but you has ever actually thought it Buster: I don't believe that Buster: I can't Rio: I've never met anyone who is as honest as you Rio: like genuinely honest to a default, with the good as well as the bad Rio: you don't just use it as a thinly veiled excuse to be a dick Buster: I mean, I have Buster: But no Rio: Your parents? Buster: Sometimes you just wanna hurt people, you know Buster: Too many to count probably Rio: We've all said things to win arguments Rio: You aren't the only one who's done that Buster: I'm just like her though, aren't I? Buster: You're right, my mum knows exactly what to say to cause maximum damage Rio: It's just a defense mechanism Rio: she had to, you had to Rio: it doesn't make you bad people Buster: It makes me feel like a bad person Buster: It makes me feel bad full stop Rio: I know Rio: It got you this Rio: far Rio: But if you don't want to be like that now, you don't have to, you can try different Buster: I know Buster: I'm not who I was Buster: I wouldn't let you marry that cunt, like Rio: I never thought you were a cunt Rio: really, like Buster: Yeah, 'cause you've always used your bullshit detector Buster: But you don't deserve past me Rio: I'm complaining, like Rio: I know how far you've come, I see it Rio: and I love you now so Buster: I love you Rio: Let's be real, I was hardly living my best life even like, a year back Rio: regardless of how adult they reckon us, we've both grown, thank God Buster: Yeah Buster: And we can see how good we are for each other even if they don't want to Rio: You're the best thing that ever happened to me Rio: No one realizes how fucked I was before because I didn't show it Buster: Same Buster: Well, you knew, but you know everything so Rio: Naturally Rio: You knew too Rio: You wouldn't let me fob you off Buster: I should've done more to help you though Buster: I'm sorry Rio: What could you have done that you didn't, babe Buster: I used to be such a prick to you Buster: I hate that Rio: Well you know Rio: practically blueballed to death so Rio: forgiven, like Buster: Shut up Buster: I am now but I'm not gonna start a fight with you Buster: Hot as that used to be, at least some of the time Rio: You made no secret of how hot you found it, babe Rio: which made it even worse, you know I like it when you get aggressive but now I've gotta be mad on principle? 😒 Buster: Don't Buster: I had to invite girls round after every argument we had in each others inboxes Rio: 😣 Not fair Rio: Guess I kinda fucked Curtis in your face though so 😬 Buster: And honestly, I sent a lot of them home 'cause like I said, there's nobody like you Buster: It just made me more frustrated Rio: Nothing worse than a shit ride Rio: just makes the problem 10x worse Buster: Yeah Buster: Thank fuck I can take care of myself Rio: Don't get me started on how hot that is Buster: You don't wanna talk about it? Buster: Don't be shy, babe Rio: You know how hot you are Rio: No lads do half the things you do, you're lucky if they send you a dick pic they've sent to every other girl ever and the chat is abysmal Rio: not even to start on the actual sex and how much better you are then too Buster: It's all for you Buster: If you weren't worth it I wouldn't Buster: Christ knows I didn't put this much effort in for Chelsea girls Buster: But they didn't make me this turned on without being touched so Buster: Or even when Rio: Damn right they didn't Rio: No one can do you like I can Rio: don't forget it Buster: How can I, I'm so aware how hard you could make me cum right now in this taxi if you want to Rio: 😋 Rio: Don't tempt me Buster: But I need you to fuck me, any way you like, including that Buster: So I can't stop you Rio: That's permission to keep going? Buster: If that's what you want, baby Rio: Hmm Rio: It is one of my favourite things to make you cum in your pants, especially when you're in public and have to try and pretend very hard you're not Buster: I know Buster: And you know how easy it'd be, but if you need reminding, like Buster: [pics] Rio: Oh baby, you're so close Rio: Barely any challenge at all Buster: Yeah Buster: You've had me there for so long Rio: You want to cum, don't you? Buster: Please Rio: Oh, good boy Rio: remembering your manners even when you're being really bad in the back of that cab Buster: You know I've been well behaved this whole time Buster: Don't tease me Rio: You think you deserve a reward? Buster: It's not up to me Buster: It's up to you Rio: That's better too Rio: 'cos you're definitely not in any position to be making demands, babe Buster: Rio, Jesus Rio: I know baby Rio: Tell me, how oblivious is this driver? Buster: He's more aware than most of the bar was Buster: I know that's what you wanna hear but it also happens to be true Rio: I'm just thinking Rio: How much you can get away with Rio: and how much I could if I was there with you Buster: You know I'll do anything Buster: I don't care Rio: I care about not getting you arrested, babe Rio: But you can start over your clothes Rio: Slow Buster: Okay Buster: He's definitely already gossiping about me on his headset in a language that ain't Irish Buster: But I think I'm safe from the cells for now Rio: That's alright then Rio: if I have to bail you out just to fuck you I ain't gonna be happy, like Buster: Hot as that is, probably best not Rio: You'll just have to take extra time on this baby, nice and slow, try to keep my name in your head and out your mouth for now Buster: I'm trying but Rio: But? Buster: I can't Rio: How badly do you need me? Buster: I'm so desperate for you Rio: I want you to touch yourself properly now, baby Rio: I want you to feel how throbbing and hard you are, feel what I'm gonna feel Buster: Oh god Rio: How does that feel, better? Buster: So good Buster: Fuck me Rio: 'Cos you asked so pretty Rio: Give it to me, hard and fast as you want now, I want it, I want you, Buster Buster: Say that again Buster: Tell me how much you want me Rio: I want you so much, I'd do anything to be with you Rio: I have Rio: I need you, Buster, please fuck me Buster: Rio Buster: I love you Rio: I love you Rio: Forever Buster: Don't stop, okay Rio: Never Buster: Loving me, wanting me, telling me, any of it Rio: I promise Rio: Even if I could, I would never want to Rio: You're so fucking perfect Buster: You are Rio: Yeah Rio: We are Buster: You're gonna be such a hot wife Rio: Yeah? Rio: Is that what you're thinking about as you fuck yourself then? Tell me Buster: I'm thinking that I can't wait to come home to you Buster: And not just today Rio: You know I'm always gonna greet you from a hard day at the office right, babe Rio: Every day Buster: I'm gonna give you a goodbye that doesn't feel like one every day Buster: 'Cause you'll still be feeling it when I come back Buster: Whatever you're doing and however long I'm gone Rio: Fuck Rio: I need that Rio: I want nothing more than to feel you between my legs all the time, even when you're not there Buster: And I'll fuck you on the stairs until the neighbours have our vows memorised too 'cause you'll be reciting them back to me every time Buster: It'll be that good Rio: Daddy Buster: I know, baby Rio: You have no idea how wet I am now Buster: Show me Rio: [Video] Rio: Because you need to hear how loud it is too Buster: Well, now you've got me being loud too Buster: Jesus Christ Rio: I don't care who hears Rio: this is how you've got me, baby Buster: You know I'd scream for you if it makes you cum Buster: Nobody else exists to me Rio: You really would do anything for me, wouldn't you? Buster: Yeah Rio: Shit Rio: I love you I love you Buster: Keep saying it Rio: I love you Buster I love you so fucking much Buster: You're gonna make me cum everywhere Buster: Oh fuck Rio: Me too Rio: Cum with me baby please Buster: Yeah together Rio: Always Rio: Marry me Buster: All you've gotta say is I do, baby Buster: I will Rio: Literally say whatever you like at this point Buster: Just fuck yourself harder Buster: I want you to moan right now Rio: Yes sir Rio: I swear, everyone can hear me Buster: Yeah they can Buster: You're that good Rio: For you Rio: I'm doing exactly what you told me, daddy Buster: You're such a fucking angel for me Rio: I am Rio: I just wanna look after you so good and make you cum Buster: Good 'cause I need you to finish what you started Rio: I promise Buster: Now though Rio: I know what'll make you cum Rio: You're coming to take my virginity in my childhood bedroom but do you want another actual first too? Rio: Because I really do Buster: You know I want that as badly as you do Buster: Tell me Rio: I want you to take me from behind Rio: I've never done it with anyone but sometimes I put a finger up there and it feels fucking incredible it stretches me so tight Rio: I want you to take my anal virginity, if you want to Buster: That's so hot Buster: I've never done it before either but I really want to with you Rio: Promise? Buster: Of course Buster: I'm never gonna lie to you Rio: Good, we can have this together then Buster: You're always so right Buster: That did make me cum Rio: I knew it would Buster: I'm gonna have to give this cabbie so much money Rio: Whoops Rio: I can always facetime in so he knows I'm real and you're not just a pervert 😏 Buster: I'm fine with that but I'll probably leave the reason why the bill is so high off the spreadsheet my mum wants of my expenses Rio: In the bad books enough as is, babe Rio: why not go all out? gonna be mad regardless Buster: You're so fucking beautiful though at least the driver wouldn't be mad the second he sees your face Rio: I'll put some clothes on so we can pretend it's just my beautiful face 😉 Buster: Yeah he doesn't need to see any more to understand the state I'm in Buster: But don't put too many clothes on 'cause I'm not that far away Rio: You're going to need to get hard for me again Rio: Putting in the work to undress me will do you good Buster: I only need a few minutes, we might be getting married but I'm not middle aged or that turned off Buster: But fine, I like it Rio: Can't be nice all the time, babe Rio: got to keep you on your toes Buster: Who you treat me reflects how I treat you so, again fine Buster: If that's how you want it, baby Buster: How* Rio: 😻 Rio: You know it is Buster: Yeah but I'm still gonna make you beg me Buster: Just for a while Rio: Oh really Buster: Can't play too nice, right? Buster: Not if I'm gonna give you exactly what you need Rio: You're so right Rio: I'm so fucking glad you get me, and what I need Buster: Always Buster: You know you can start now, if you like Buster: But you might wanna wait until you can be on your knees Rio: I can be on my knees for when you get here Rio: Nothing if not dedicated Buster: 'Course you can Buster: I love that about you Rio: How else do you want me, daddy? Buster: Mouth and eyes open Buster: You gotta sort out this mess you made Rio: Holy Rio: That's totally fair and I won't really really enjoy that, promise Buster: Good Buster: While we're on the subject you have loads of lube right? I only wanna hurt you in the ways you want Rio: Yeah, we're good baby Rio: I promise it'll be the best thing you've felt since the first time you were inside my cunt Buster: That's a really big promise Rio: I know Rio: Hold me to it Buster: I have to, now Rio: I practically came on the spot the first time we fucked Rio: I was very impressed you didn't Buster: Well, I was trying to impress you so Buster: Glad that worked Rio: You were better than I'd ever imagined, you know you were Rio: and I thought about it a lot so Buster: I couldn't last that long but I didn't want it to be like the first kiss again, you know Buster: All that build up and then just Buster: Me not living up to it Rio: It was perfect Rio: so was the kiss Rio: you'll say I don't mean it but I do Buster: I know you do Buster: Trying to make me cry again Buster: I don't ever want to disappoint you, Rio, in anything Rio: Well you never have Rio: so don't worry about it too much Buster: I'm gonna make sure I never will Buster: I swear Rio: I trust you, baby Rio: I trust you with my life Buster: Is that why you didn't wanna do anal with anyone else? Or, like, did you want to but it just never happened? Rio: Pretty much Rio: Like it was either being too embarrassed to say I wanted it, because they'd just be dicks, or knowing they didn't care enough to do it right and be gentle Buster: You can tell me anything you want to do, you know Rio: I know Rio: You too Rio: but you can tell me if you ever don't want to do something, or me to say something Rio: I won't be mad or offended Buster: Same Buster: I don't ever wanna be that person for you Buster: You don't have to do anything ever 'cause of me Rio: You couldn't be, you just aren't like that Rio: Anyway, there isn't much I can think of that I wouldn't do with you Buster: Me either but we should still think of a safe word Buster: In case we wanna stop anything Rio: Good idea Rio: What should it be? Something really unsexy Buster: Just say Chlo's name that'd stop me dead no matter what Rio: 😂 Oh God Buster: No, but seriously, it's gotta be something stupid that we just wouldn't say normally Rio: Hmm Rio: Let's go for Rio: Lampshade Buster: Works for me Rio: It was the first mundane thing I could see from down here on the floor, like Buster: Don't make it hot Rio: Damn, I'm bad at this 😋 Buster: You're so good at everything else that's why Buster: I'm not mad about it Buster: I bet you look really fucking sexy right now, don't you? Rio: and I just fucking love everything you do to me, the idea of needing one seems so ludicrous but hey Rio: [Selfie] Rio: You tell me Buster: You look better than I knew you would Buster: Jesus Buster: I'm trying to wait until I'm out of this car before I get too turned on again for this poor bloke's sake but Buster: I couldn't stop thinking about you before you sent that so now Buster: It sounds really stupid 'cause we've been talking this whole time but I miss you so much Buster: Touching you Buster: Kissing you Buster: Being close to you at all Rio: It doesn't sound stupid at all to me Rio: so if it is I am too Rio: I always miss you unless you're literally in my arms Buster: I'm so glad you feel it too Rio: You never have to doubt that Rio: Hurry up though baby so you can do all those lovely and less lovely things to me please Buster: I'm literally around the corner, don't worry Buster: I can't wait to see you Rio: I bet Rio: Lucky no one else is gonna barge in with all the noise I was making Buster: There is no way I'm letting anyone ruin this for us Buster: Whatever I have to do, I'd even walk from here, like Rio: Such a romantic baby 😉 Buster: I know and you'll be saying that sincerely when I use all the energy I've saved, by not doing those steps, on you Rio: Promises, promises Buster: Can we record this since it's a first? Rio: FUCK Rio: How are you gonna just drop that when I'm being a brat? Rio: Um yes, of course we can Rio: we've gotta Buster: I don't care if it's not like streaming level production quality Buster: I just wanna have it Buster: Like, bonus if it is Rio: I know how to do this babe, you'll be able to watch see every face I make and hear every moan, I promise Buster: I was hoping you'd say that Buster: Is it ready though 'cause I'm outside and I'd hate for you to have to change position when you've been so good Rio: I won't move Rio: Priorities, I need to clean you up properly before you can even think about giving me a reward Buster: Alright Buster: Well, I'm on my way Buster: Literally Rio: 🙌