#anyway… now I really have to drag my butt outta bed

[sassyandclassy94]

That moment when you come up with something you really wanna use in your dialogue and you write, write, write to lead up to only to ACCIDENTALLY LEAVE OUT AND FORGET THE ENTIRE LINE OF DIALOGUE😭

It was supposed to have: “Whoah, hey wait. Are you telling me that this will be your first date? Ever?”

I just blew on past that as if I hadn’t had it on my mind all freaking week!

[boygiwrites]

Harley D. Dixon 15

An amazing edit inspired by this story! (Cred to Cora_Line99) Harley D. Dixon's Pinterest Board! Harley D. Dixon's Playlist!

📖Chapter List.

Author's Note. As usual, please enjoy reading, everyone :) <3

Title might give it away, but we've all been waiting for this chapter winky wink

"How long's this girl been lost, exactly?"

"This'll be day five, now."

This'll be day three of my Dad bein' unconscious, I muse to myself solemnly, sitting nearby. It's the next morning, now, and with Dad's treatment more promising and Glenn taking iron supplements to help replace all the nutrients he lost from the blood he gave, people have decided that it's time to resume the search for Sophia. It's not gonna be an easy task, no matter how you spin it. By now, she could be anywhere. If I had five days to walk anywhere in the world, I could be halfway across the country already.

As I watch a brown butterfly flitter elegantly along the edge of the truck bed, lost in thought, Rick smooths a map out across the hood.

"Country survey map." He announces. "It shows terrains and elevations for fifty miles. We'll grid the whole area; search in teams."

"Finally get this thing organized." Dale hums, nodding.

"So far, we've covered this lower region, here, all the way up to this part of the river." Rick drags a finger this way and that over the page. "This is 'round about where we found Harley, down by this slope. Carol said Harley told her she followed this whole bit here and found Sophia's doll somewhere close by. Maybe around this part, here. Between everything that's been goin' on, we haven't gotten a chance to check it out until now, but I'm thinking we start today. Should take about a couple hours to cover, I reckon, with two people."

"And who are you suggesting goes with you?"

"I was thinkin' Glenn, but he needs rest. How 'boutchu, Shane?"

Shane, who's been mostly staring at the grass this whole conversation, looks up.

"Nah." He shakes his head. "My ankle's still pretty busted, man. Best if I hang back on this one."

"Okay, sure."

"Looks like it's just you, then, Rick." Herschel says.

The butterfly chooses this moment to fly away, leading my gaze up, and then onto Shane. His ankle's fit as a damn fiddle. I saw him doin' push ups this morning, but I don't say nothin'. He's been hovering around me since yesterday afternoon like a little insect that I just can't shake, staring at me, pokin' around. Something about Rick's return with the supplies seems to have affected him in a way I can't place.

Few days ago, I would've felt so safe having Shane this close to me, but now I know that's like a bunny feelin' safe around a coyote.

"Actually," Rick butts in, "Harley?"

I snap out of it, suddenly, meeting his eyes.

"Yeah?"

"You wanna come with me?"

"Huh?"

I didn't expect him to ask me that, of all things.

"I could use your help, y'know." He adds. "You'd recognise more of those woods than any of us will."

"That's a good idea." Dale agrees aloud, mainly just for the sake of convincing me. "Doctor, you think she's good to do some exploring?"

"As long as she doesn't put too much strain on those stitches," Herschel nods, "I don't see why not."

"Perfect. What do you say?"

Wow. They really wanna get me outta here today. I guess a few hours away from the house won't be so bad. I'm sick'a Shane breathin' down my neck, anyways.

"Okay," I eventually decide, "I'll go."

Shane suddenly looks like he's regretting his decision to stay here.

"Attagirl. You don't need t'be cooped up in that room, worrying all day." Rick smiles. "Your Dad might even be awake, time we get back. You wanna go getcher hat?"

Dale nods. "Hot out."

"Okay. I think I left it by the well when I was playin' this morning."

"Go take a look, then."

Herschel and Dale help me hop off the truck.

"We'll leave in five minutes, okay, Harley?"

"Okay!"

I make it across the dry field, where Carl is peering down into the pit of the water well.

"Hey, Carl," I say, approaching. "You seen my hat 'round here?"

"Harley! C'mere!"

"What is it?"

"Down here. Look." He leans over the cobbled wall, and I follow his pointing finger into the stinky, murky depths below. "You see it?"

I don't, at first, but then I get a whole big whiff of rotting meat and dead insect-mush, and I make out somethin' moving around down there in the dark, which makes me squeak a little in disgust. Might be an ogre down there. Ogres are gross. I saw in a movie that they pick their noses.

"Hell's that?" I ask, scrunching my nose. "Stinks."

"A walker, I think."

"A walker?!"

There it is. I see it, now. Those shiny things are slippery limbs, and those lumpy ones are big, gross pustules.

I cringe loudly. "Eugh!"

"I know, right?" Carl exclaims, somewhat excitedly. "I think it fell in somehow."

"Well, we best not mess with it."

He straightens, only now registering why I'm over here. "Wait, where are you going if you need your hat? You wanna play tag again?"

"No. I can't. Your Dad's takin' me out to look for Sophia."

He looks confused.

"What? Not Shane?"

I make a face. "No. He's stayin'."

"Aw, man. Why didn't Dad ask me?"

"I'on know."

"Well, can I come, too?"

"No, Carl."

We both spin around to face Rick, who holds up my flimsy green bucket hat in the air as he approaches.

"It's just me and Harley today. Sorry."

When he's close enough, he fixes the hat onto my head.

"You found it?"

He nods.

Carl whines. "Why can't I come, too, Dad?"

He helps me drag the little bauble of the jaw-string all the way up under my chin, since it's kinda tough to do with little hands.

"Harley's goin' through a bit of a tough time right now, Carl. She could use some time away from the house. You're good right here."

Carl pouts.

"Besides," Rick shrugs, "Who's gonna protect this place while we're away?"

He rolls his eyes. "Be serious."

"I am serious."

"No, you're not. Dale's the one who keeps watch. Not me."

"Well, how 'bout you go ask him if you can join him today, huh?"

His eyes widen. "Really?"

"Yeah. I'm sure he'd appreciate that."

As Rick stands up, Carl considers the offer.

"Yeah, okay. I'll do it." He sticks up a finger. "But only if I get a gun."

"Woah. No, no, no. One step at a time, okay?" He laughs, nodding me back toward the gate. "Come on, Harley. We're goin', now."

Carl stomps his foot.

"But, Dad!"

"No. Go ask your mother!"

I can't help but snicker. Poor Carl.

"I can still be useful, you know. It's never stopped me before."

When we make it back to the main gate, where a few of our group are waiting to send us off, we walk into a small argument between Herschel and Shane. We stay out of it for the most part as Andrea hands Rick a backpack filled with useful supplies and one of our rifles.

"You push your ankle now," Herschel warns, "You'll be laid up in bed for a month, no good to anybody. I thought I made that clear."

"You did." Shane nods, playing along to get what he wants, "But I just feel like they could use an extra pair of eyes out there, that's all."

Rick raises a brow. "Thought you said you would hang back."

"Well, compared to what Harley's got, this is nothin'. Just a... a damn twist." He laughs it off. "Should be fine."

"I'm not comfortable with that." Rick firmly states, going back to loading the gun.

Shane just stares at him, annoyed with this conclusion.

"How about you take the car?" Herschel suggests. "It's better than walking. You can head back to the interstate; search for Sophia that way."

He sighs. "Yep. Yeah, okay. That's fine."

"Alright, then. And remember, no guns on my property."

Rick nods. "Loud and clear. We're guests here. We understand."

"Cute hat." Maggie grins, pinching the brim.

I giggle. "Thanks."

"Okay. We're off." Rick slings the bag over his shoulder. "If we're not back by dark, start worrying."

"Sure thing." Andrea smacks his shoulder. "Be safe."

Lori gives his cheek a kiss.

"Look after her, and be careful."

He smiles, nodding as Maggie opens the gate for us. "I will."

Even when we make it all the way to the treeline, I can still tell that Shane is pissed.

"Step over this rock, here. You got it?"

"Yeah."

"There we go. Nothin' stops you, does it?"

"Nope."

"Thought so."

Hiking with Rick ain't all that bad. We make our way into the woods, trailing the creek together for about an hour, before I start to recognise some of the oddly shaped tree trunks, mushroom clusters, and peculiar boulders out here. It reminds me a little of hiking with my Dad, especially when Rick stops to make me drink some water every once in a while, or tells me to watch out for a hole or snag in the ground. I never thought Rick could be like this, but he is a Dad, after all. He's got Carl. Everything I've found Shane's tried to do with me, Rick does it a hundred times more naturally.

He doesn't even make me uncomfortable when he does it, neither. It's almost like this is what it's meant to feel like, all this time.

"Good to be away from the farm for a bit, ain't it?" He muses, avoiding saying, away from Shane.

Up ahead, I notice a log caught in the stream.

"Hey, Rick."

"Yeah, Harley?"

"I saw this." Some frogs hop into the water when we reach it. "Yeah. This is where I found Matilda. She was in the water, right here."

He glances at me.

"Who?"

"Matilda." I repeat. "Sophia's doll."

"Oh. Right. Yeah. I knew that was her name."

"Did ya, really?"

"Not a clue. Let's look around a bit, huh?"

We spend some time combing the dirt and mud near the creek for tracks, but most of the imprints we uncover either belong to woodland animals, thirsty birds, or me, from when I was lost. We can tell 'cause when I step on 'em, the size and patterns are a perfect match to my boots. Just by pure luck, we eventually find some different, slightly bigger markings that could belong to Sophia, hiding under leaves.

We follow them into the trees.

I feel bad for not doin' this the day I came across the doll. If I did, we might've found her by now.

As we walk, I think more about Shane, and how Carl got made to stay behind today, even though he's older, and he ain't even hurt.

"How come you didn't bring Carl with us?"

Rick looks back at me.

"I just thought you could use some time away from everybody; get your mind off everythin' for a while, that's all."

"But you could'a done that without takin' me out here. Maggie did. We went peach pickin' in the orchard yesterday."

"I know." Rick sighs, reluctant to elaborate.

"But?"

"Well... One difference between the orchard and these woods is that there ain't no way for Shane to bug you out here like he can back there."

I almost trip over a pebble, but I save myself just in time.

"Soon as he brought up that ankle of his, I thought it would be a good opportunity." He raises a brow. "You know, don't think I haven't noticed all'a this. Not just the recent staring and the... the whatever-else he's been doin', but something's been goin' on there for quite some time now, I think. Maybe even before the CDC. I don't know. Whatever it is, I wanted you away from it for a few hours."

I always knew Rick was sorta smart, but I guess he's been paying more attention than I thought.

I don't say nothin', so he prompts, "Am I right?"

Yes, he's right. I wish he wasn't, but I can't change things like that.

"Yeah." I awkwardly shrug. "I guess."

"Care to clue me in?"

"Not really."

"Your Dad said the same thing when I brought it up with him. What? Is it some deep, dark, Dixon secret I'm not allowed in on?"

I giggle a little. "No. Not that."

"Then, what is it?"

"I don't know. A different type of secret."

"And what type is that?"

"A..." I put some thought into it. "It's a big secret."

He glances at me again.

If he's having a hard time navigating this, or he's feeling uncomfortable, then he's not letting on at all. In fact, I think he planned this.

"A big secret, hm?" He muses casually. "What makes it so big?"

"Because if I tell you even a little, tiny bit of it, then you'll need to know the whole thing, and I'm not allowed to tell you that."

"No? How about you try?"

"What? Tell you a little, tiny bit?"

"Just a little, tiny bit."

Something tells me no matter what I say, Rick's hanging on my every word and he's gonna remember 'em. I guess this is it, then — The moment I finally tell someone. His back is turned to me, walking just a couple feet ahead, which makes it much easier to treat this like it's nothin'. Wonder if he's doin' it on purpose. I never imagined it would be him I'd talk to about this, but here I am, anyway.

Okay. Just a little, tiny bit. Here I go.

"I think Shane did something really, really, bad."

I wish I could see Rick's face.

Unconfident, I stammer, "There you go. That's a little, tiny bit."

I think Shane tried to murder my Dad. I think he shot him. He shot him for beating on me, but that's another little, tiny bit for another day.

"Okay." Rick says, like he's digesting everything he's thinking; everything he's assuming, concluding, planning. He nods. "Okay."

Shane did something really, really bad, and so did my Dad, and so did I.

"Can I ask you one more question, though, Harley?"

"Yeah?"

"What would happen if you told me the whole secret?"

Oh, that's easy.

"Something even worse would happen."

We make it to a church.

An old, knobbly tree leans over the side of it.

"This the one?"

"Sure is."

When I told 'em about the faint ringing of church bells I heard that day, they explained that there really was a church out here, and that they even stopped at it for a while that afternoon, thinking one of us girls must've been causing the noise, but we weren't. The sound is on a timer.

The door creeks sorely as we step inside, immediately struck by a wall of pure dust and the smell of mothballs.

"Pleh." I mutter.

With a quick look around the barren room, it's obvious that Sophia isn't here.

Never one to be discouraged easily, Rick sets the bag down on one of the wooden benches, and gestures for me to take a seat.

"Trail ends here, I suppose. Maybe we can pick it up again later." He sighs, passing me a cloth filled with pear slices. "You gettin' tired, yet?"

"Not so much. Sittin' on this bench-thing is helpin', though."

He chuckles, "You mean a pew?" 

"Pew?" I exclaim. "Pew, as in, like, a gun? Goin' pew-pew?"

"Exactly like that."

"Weird. Why not just call 'em benches?"

"'Cause churches like to be fancy."

"Well, I ain't fancy."

"Nobody is, anymore. Except maybe Herschel."

He settles down beside me on the pew, and we take a short lunch break together. I unwrap the fruit and begin eating the slender pieces of fresh pear, which are kinda warm from sitting in the backpack all morning — Ew — while Rick snacks on his slightly lesser portion. I look around the church. It's much smaller than the one from our hometown. Ours had a classroom and a foyer and everything, but this one's more like a really big, dirty bedroom.

"Did you ever go to church?" I ask Rick, for no reason other than I want to. "Back when you could?"

"Sometimes," He answers, "But not always."

"We did. They used to give out free stuff. Every time we went, Dad was sure they was gonna tell us we had to leave, but it never happened."

"Did you enjoy going?"

"No... The other kids were always lookin' at us funny."

He smiles sadly. Then he says, "Carl didn't like going, either. He hated having to dress up."

"Did he ever pray?"

"Not really, no. I don't think he believes in all of that."

I don't know what someone like Carl would need to pray for. I bet he had a whole heap of toys, and all the friends he could ever want.

Rick catches me staring at the statue of Jesus at the head of the room, a dull hunk of wood more than anything, lent a pretty, fractured spotlight by the stained window behind it. Carol told me she prayed here, for me and Sophia to be found. She said she convinced my Dad to pray, as well.

"Do you think he's lookin' after everybody?" I ask. "That's what they say, ain't it? Up in heaven?"

"I like to think so. It's a nice thought."

Sophia might be there already. That's a not-so-nice thought.

"Morales, I reckon he's in heaven, 'cause he lent me his toothpaste tube one time."

Rick chuckles. "Yeah. He was a good man."

"And our dog, Tank. He's in heaven, too. I know so, 'cause the vet sent us a letter sayin' he was, after he died."

"Did they?"

"Yep. I don't get how they found out, but that's where he is."

"Must be. All pets go to heaven, you know that?"

"Not all people, though."

"No. No, not all people."

My Uncle Merle's gotta be in Hell, if he's anywhere. I love him, but just 'cause you love someone, it don't make 'em a saint. Uncle Merle used to kick Tank, sometimes. He enjoyed tricking people for money, and he was in jail a lotta the time. I remember one time he was there for somethin' so bad my Dad had to sell his guitar and the TV so he could pay to let him out. I was real mad when he got home.

You ain't happy to see your old Uncle Merle, baby?

No. I ain't got no cartoons no more 'cause of you.

Aw. Sappy little thing, ain't ya? Always told you, you're too soft on her, Darylina.

Rick can tell what I'm thinkin', 'cause it weren't no secret back then that my Uncle wasn't anybody's favorite person in camp.

"I told you before," He takes a chance at saying, "But I'll say it again. I'm very sorry for what happened to your Uncle."

A long time ago, I would've gotten angry at that, but there's not much of that left in me, anymore.

"It's okay." I utter, pleased with how good it feels to say; with how two words can take two tonnes off both my shoulders.

He smiles fondly. "You're not gonna wish death on me, this time?"

"This is a church." I scoff. "I can't do that."

"I won't push my luck, then."

"I'll take some of your pear, though."

"Okay, there. Now you're pushin' your luck."

"Not even half a slice?"

"Fat chance, Dixon."

When we've packed up and are just about to head back out into the sun, I take a last look at the statue.

"You got somethin' you wanna say to him?" Rick suggests.

"Yeah." I decide, and then I shout loudly, "You best wake my Daddy up soon, you sum' bitch!"

A rat scuttles away under the floorboards at my sheer volume.

"Okay." Rick ushers me out the door, trying not to snicker. "Come on, now."

"I got shot in the stomach, too, once. Did you know that?"

I glance at Rick as we step over a rock, sceptical. No, I didn't know that.

"Did ya? When?"

"About a week before I turned up at the quarry." He tells me. "It was a work accident. Put me in a coma for quite a while."

I was too busy hating everybody — hating Rick, especially — to ever really ask about what happened before that day, but there's my answer.

"Don't need to ask if you survived, then, I guess."

"I guess not." He smiles. "No, I'm still kickin'."

"You think that'll happen with my Dad?"

"I'm sure of it."

For once, I want my Dad to be a little like Rick, the man I used to want dead.

When we break through the treeline some hours later, we see Jacqui at the top of the hill, waving her arms around.

"What's she shoutin'?"

"I don't know."

Rick starts jogging forward on instinct, pulling me closer with one hand and grabbing his revolver with the other.

"What?" He shouts back, shaking his head. "What is it? What's goin' on?"

She calls out once more, and this time, her words are clear.

"Harley! Get over here! Your Dad woke up!"

Rick stops running all at once.

We look at each other, astonished, until I start to let the realization sink in, and my eyes well up.

"Go on, then." He nods, excited for me. "Go, go, go. Get up there."

I turn, running all the way to Jacqui.

"When?" I ask. "When?"

She grabs my hand. "About twenty minutes ago."

"Is he okay?!"

We hurry toward the house together, setting off small droves of orange and brown butterflies that were resting in the grass.

"He's okay." She grins. "Threatened to burn the whole farm down if I didn't bring you to him right away, though! C'mon!"

"Dad!!"

I race up the porch steps, squealing.

"Daddy!!"

The door to the Greene house almost falls off its hinges when I push past it. It smacks into the wall with a loud, loud bang, and the next door that stands in my way receives the same treatment. If I burst holes into the plaster, I'll just have to apologise to the Greenes later. As soon as I see my Dad — Awake and breathing, and even sitting up a little in the bed — I throw myself onto him with the force of a thousand lifetimes. He tries to say my name, but grunts when he catches me. He recovers from the pain almost immediately, wrapping me up in the biggest darn hug he's ever given me. All them times I ever waited for him to come pick me up from school, or I thought he didn't turn up for one of my tournaments — That's nothin' compared to this moment. I thought he was dead. Dead and gone, forever, but he's not. Glenn, Rick, and Andrea saved him.

They got me my Dad back.

I sob like I've never sobbed before, overcome with relief that consumes me like a tidal wave, hiccing, moaning, coughing into his shoulder.

I can't believe it.

"He's awake?" I hear Rick asking in the foyer, panting slightly from the walk up the hill. "He's alright?"

"He's going to be sore," Herschel answers, "But yes, he's alive."

"He woke up?" Shane asks, sounding almost offended.

"Yes. Seems those supplies really helped."

My Dad buries his face into my neck, shushing me gently as he soothes my back.

"Dad." I bawl, like he's about to leave me again at any moment, and I have to will him back into my arms. "Daddy-y-y-y."

"Shh, sh, sh, baby." His voice is hoarse in my ear, but it's the best sound I ever heard. "Daddy's here, baby. I'm okay. I'm okay."

I just keep wailing it over and over again until he's crying, too.

"Daddy's here, baby." He shudders, then, mutters, fuck, in embarrassment. "I— I'm here, baby. I'm here. Lemme get a look atchu, huh?"

He pulls back with a kiss to my cheek, steadying me with both his hands.

"You hurtin' bad, still?" He asks. "Your stitches?"

"I thought you was dead, Dad."

His chin crumples ever so slightly as he looks at me, and then wordlessly, he embraces me again. I'm cocooned tightly in both his arms, my ear pressed up against the faint buh-boom buh-boom of his heart. He lays back into the pillows, taking me with him, shushing me some more. I should be a little more embarrassed about how hard I'm crying, but he don't mention it.

If there was ever a time I'm allowed to cry, it's now.

The IV tube gets tangled up a bit, and I think I'm hurting him, but it just makes him chuckle between tears.

"Careful, chicken." He sniffs. "You're gonna— Gonna mess me up, here, in a second."

Herschel comes in to fix it up a bit.

"I'on know what the fuck this is. Sorry." Dad mutters as he tries to help him, clumsily de-tangling all the equipment. "Here. I'on know."

"Gave your little one quite the scare." Herschel smiles over the sound of my ear-piercing cries. "Gave us all quite a scare, I think."

"You're Herschel, right?"

"Yes. Herschel Greene. This is my farm you're sat up in. Did Glenn tell you everything?"

He nods. "Think I owe you my life, if I heard right."

"Well, it wasn't your ears that got damaged in the accident, young man."

"Da-a-a-ad!"

He turns his attention back onto me at an especially pained sob.

"Shhhh. It's okay." He jokes, "I'm right here, girl."

That makes Herschel chuckle. "I'll give you two a moment, then."

Dad lets me cry as much as I want in the privacy of this little room. He smooths down my hair, tucks it behind my ears, plays with it, kisses my scalp, all the while murmuring sh, sh, sh, like I'm a newborn baby needing coddled. I let him rock me side to side. I let him hum little tunes to me quietly, and smack firm but soothing pats through the back of my shorts. After what feels like forever, I calm down, reduced to whimpers.

"You know, I thought I told you not to go nowhere." He tries making me laugh, cradling my face as I look up at him. "Remember?"

"Shut up." I complain, struggling to breathe properly. "You al-al-almost died."

"I know, baby. I'm sorry."

"Every morning, I was so scared you wouldn't be breathin', no more. I had to check."

"Everybody take good care'a ya?" He asks. "Nobody needs a whooping?"

"Maybe T-Dog." I sniff, playing with his chain necklace. "He ate all the pretzels."

"Did he, now?"

"Yeah."

"When I'm all better, I'll sort him out for ya, then."

"Uh-huh." I mumble. "You better."

I can only hold back on asking the question I've been wanting to ask him since the moment I heard that gunshot for so long.

"Daddy, what happened out there?"

He pauses for a moment. I expect him to rat Shane out without a moment's hesitation; to get angry, to want justice. But that's not what happens. He doesn't swear, or shout, or even get that little, glinting look of fire in his eyes. It seems to have fizzled out, somehow, leaving only a wispy hint of what used to burn there so violently and for so long. It's strange to me, this tranquillity. It's like a biting dog that's given up his tricks.

"Baby," He sighs, stroking my cheek fleetingly. "How much you figured out?"

I've figured out lots of things in the past month — Enough for a lifetime.

I've figured out that being beaten by your Dad is wrong, but only to some people, and only if they happen to walk in on it. I've also learnt how to think for myself, a lesson taught by someone who promised I could trust him but ended up just another liar. I've learnt the feeling of a kill; the name for benches in a church. I've learnt my Dad is two people at once, like a mirror with a hidden edge. He's him, but he's all the men that came before him, too, all echoing their last laugh through a swing of his fists. I've learnt that loving your family above all else is a hereditary disease.

"Almost all of it." I settle on saying, thinking of all the things life has yet to throw at me. "Almost all of it."

He chews his bottom lip. Then, he pinches my cheek.

"You're my smart girl, huh?"

I smile under the weight of everything.

"Well, one thing at a time. Your old man can't hardly keep up." He lowers his hand, returning my faint smile. "For starters, it was Shane that shot me." I feel like I've been slapped. "I don't know what he's told you, or... or y'know, what yarn he's been spinnin', but it was him."

"Wh-Where? How?"

"I left that day to look for Jim. I didn't tell nobody where I was goin', 'cause I was— I was gonna kill him, baby." It's a tough thing to admit, but it's nothing I ain't heard before. When they first told me Ronnie was dead, and that my Daddy killed him, all I wanted to know was when I could see him again. "I's gonna ask you where his camp was that day, but seein' yer— yer little face, all fuckin' sun-burnt an'— I'on know. Plan changed. I asked Shane instead. And uh... Some walkin', I almost made it. I knew he was followin' me. He walks loud as Hell. Like a fuckin' Yeti."

I giggle. Shane don't got my Dad's finesse when it comes to slinking through the woods.

"I guess I's kinda hopin' he'd..." He takes a deep breath. I wait patiently for him to continue. "Anyway, he did."

"You lured him."

"Yeah. I walked 'bout two hours out before... 'fore I knew I'd waited long enough nobody would find us straight away, and then I spun around, and I tackled him to the ground. I could'a shot him, point-blank, but I wanted it to... W— I wanted it to hurt."

"'Cause he's a bastard cop?"

He falters when I ask this, pinching the bridge of his nose, like this is physically hard for him to get through.

He finds the courage to look at me again. "Yes, Harley, 'cause he's a bastard cop. 'Cause he made things difficult for us, and I wanted him to suffer for it. I got his nose again; fucked his ribs up. I was about to shoot him in the brains when he snatched the glock off me."

"And then he—?"

"Then he shot me."

"And... you didn't get anywhere near Jim's camp? You didn't see him?"

"That what he told you?"

"He said you got into a squabble wit' Jim, and that he shot you, 'cause he was mad about bein' left behind. But at first, he said it was Otis."

"Who the Hell's Otis?"

"He was a man that lived here. He was a hunter, like you. They said he mistook you for a deer, or sum', while he was out there."

Recognition washes over him. "Chubby fella?"

"You see him?"

"Yeah. Gunshot drew him over to us. I guess he was out huntin', then, like they say. Shane was gonna leave me there to bleed out, but with this guy fussin' all over us, that weren't really an option, no more, so he made up some fuckin' fairytale about how it was an accident, and he was new to the group an' they'd never take him back if they found out, and he pressured him into takin' the fall for him. I passed out 'round 'bout then."

"Why ain't he just own up to it? Tell everybody he shot you, plain an' simple?"

"'Cause you wouldn't wanna keep bein' his friend if you found out."

My skin goes cold. "You know about that?"

"Yeah, baby. I know. He rubbed in my face so much I ain't never gon' forget it."

He must see my lip wobble, and the way I'm too scared to even blink, 'cause he gives my hair a kiss. I've been dreading this moment ever since I told Shane, Fine, I'll be your friend, and now I've finally been found out. I'm a liar. I betrayed my Dad. Oh, he's gonna pull his belt out right now.

"I'm sorry, Dad." I shake my head, already pulling away, trying to stop what's to come. "Please, Dad. I'm sorry."

"Harley—"

"He tricked me. He made it seem li-like I had to be his friend. I didn't want to, I swear. He j— He just said a whole bunch'a things, and then—"

"Harley, baby, I ain't mad."

"And he— He—? What?"

"I ain't mad." He repeats himself, raising his brows. "I ain't."

"W—?"

This is like finding out the Earth is flat, or the sun is a square.

"I promise you, baby, I ain't mad at you for that. Not even a little bit. Never, ever." He promises, grabbing my shaking hand. "That man, he's... It ain't your fault. Might feel like it is, but it ain't. Nothin' he says or does is your fault. I should'a ended this shit a long time ago. You shouldn't even have to worry 'bout things like this, Harley. You can be friends with whoever you like. Don't fuckin' matter what I say. Don't listen t'me."

Don't—? Don't listen to me?

"Dad—?"

"I know." He says. "Just... I know. Sometimes Dad says confusin' shit, don't he?"

I nod vigorously.

"Well, I mean it. How am I supposed t'be mad atchu for just doin' what you're told? The way I raised you, ain't it?"

"Yeah, but... I mean, you hate cops."

"For a long time, yeah. Every time I watched 'em drag your Uncle Merle away, I hated 'em a little more'un the last time. They ain't very nice in prison, neither. Lots of rules. They got power over you in there. Makes 'em turn into assholes. But that's me, baby. My bullshit is my bullshit to handle, and Shane — Leave him to me, too. Askin' to be your friend an' shit, that's sum' wrong wit' him. Not you. Not your bullshit."

"If I told you this, like, a week ago, you would'a..."

You would'a beat me.

The unspoken words hang pungent in the air, weighing down on him.

"I—" He clears his throat; sighs deep, and hard. He mutters, "I— I probably would'a, yeah."

I've never seen him talk this away about a beating. He was never proud of it or nothing, but he was never proud about washing dishes, either.

It was just a part of life, but for now, I guess, it's not.

"So... you're not mad?"

"No, sweet girl, I'm not. C'mere."

I lay back down on his chest.

"I knew it was Shane," I murmur against him, "'cause the bullet was round."

"They took it outta me, huh?"

"It was real scary. You wanna hear the whole story?"

"Yeah, baby. I'm all ears."

I tell him about the gunshot, and Maggie on the horse, and how Shane and Otis went out for emergency supplies, but one came back empty-handed, and the other didn't come back at all. I tell him about the night of the surgery, and the funeral. I tell him about the chickens, too.

"They got eggs here, Dad. Lots of 'em. Scrambled, too." I smile. "You're gonna love it."

"Haven't had an egg breakfast in months."

We used to go to the diner, sometimes, and get eggs on toast when Merle wasn't around. Those were the best days of the week.

"They don't burn 'em here or nothin'."

He chuckles. "What 'bout two-dollar coffee? They got that here, too?"

"Only if you wanna fight for the last of the coffee beans."

"It's on." He scoffs. "I could use some good coffee right about now."

"You tired?"

"Baby, I'm exhausted." He smiles. "Keep talkin', though. I wanna hear everythin'."

"Okay. You wanna hear about the walker me and Carl found in the well?"

"The what?"

Herschel comes back in a while later to perform a check-up.

He's an animal doctor, but he's still got a real stethoscope hanging around his neck, and a little light he can shine in my Dad's pupils. I hold his hand as Herschel checks over the IV, the baggie of donor blood, and the smaller scrapes and bruises all over Dad's neck and face.

"Looks like you got into a brawl with a bear." He comments, dabbing his slashed brow with a cotton pad. "This'll sting a little bit."

He hisses. "Weren't so far off as you'd imagine."

Herschel drops the wad into the tin tray. "That about does it for now, I think."

"When can I get outta this bed?"

"When you're better." He deadpans, packing up. "Which should be in about a week. Walking, I'd say, would be reasonable in one or two days."

Dad glances at me, unimpressed.

"Doctor's orders." I shrug.

"Listen to my best patient's advice, Mister Dixon." Herschel smiles. "There's a reason her wound's healed up so nicely."

"I'm guessin' it ain't the fishin' line."

"No." The med-kit clicks shut. "It's not the fishing line."

"I can play outside with Carl, now." I tell Dad, proud. "I been takin' it slow. You gotta, too."

He kisses my knuckles, too tired to answer, but agreeing.

As he's about to leave, Herschel notices something on the ground by his feet, and bends to pick it up.

"Is this yours, Harley?"

He holds it up.

Much to my discomfort, it's the shredded get well soon card.

"Yeah." I take the piece he hands to me, confronted by its obnoxious colors. "It was meant to be a card. Not lookin' so good, now, though."

"Lemme see it."

Reluctantly, I angle it so my Dad can take a look.

"It's just a corner." I murmur. "I ripped up the rest of it."

"That looks real pretty, baby. You made it for me?"

"I don't know..." I muse, unsure. "Shane kinda helped me with it."

"That why you ripped it?"

"Yeah. I was angry at him. I didn't wanna look at it, no more."

"Well, I do." Dad squeezes my hand. "How 'boutchu make me another one?"

"But you're all better, now."

"I don't know about that." Herschel chuckles. "It'll be a while before he's one hundred percent again."

I consider this. "How about I just draw you a picture this time?"

"Sure. Draw me anythin' you want."

"I'll get you some crayons and paper." Herschel offers, stepping out the door. "I'll be back in a moment."

"Good to see you awake, man."

T-Dog, along with Rick and Glenn, walks into the room while I'm leaning against my Dad's side, working on the drawing set up in my lap. I got a clipboard to lean against, and a whole bunch of different colored crayons to use. Rick sits in the bay window, near Glenn, who rests in the rocking chair in the corner. T-Dog smacks Dad's shoulder.

"Thanks." Dad nods, joking, "What's this I hear 'boutchu eatin' all the pretzels, though?"

T-Dog laughs, leaning against the wall. "Girl, you snitched on me about that?"

Swallowing down a giggle, I just send him a cheeky glance.

"Whatever, man. Lock me up, then."

"I think I still got my handcuffs in the back'a our car." Rick offers, mock-serious. "I can go get 'em right now."

Glenn interjects. "Woah, woah, woah. Innocent until proven guilty, guys."

"He told me he ate 'em all." I butt in. "That's proof."

"Verdict's in, then, buddy." Dad shrugs.

"I ain't never delved into all'at court stuff or nothin'," T-Dog holds his hands up, "But I'm pretty sure that's hearsay."

Rick shakes his head, changing the subject.

"How you feelin', Daryl?"

"Sore. Stiff. Like shit."

"Gettin' shot in the stomach will do that to you."

"It's a miracle you survived." Glenn adds. "You lost a lot of blood. Thirty percent, I'm sure Herschel said. Something like that."

"You said you been givin' me yours, didn't ya?"

"Yeah. We weren't sure about anybody else's types, so we had to make do with what we had."

"I got Chinaman-blood runnin' through my veins." Dad laughs. "Hell's that mean for me, now?"

Glenn scoffs. "That you're slightly less of an idiot."

"Man, it's prolly true." T-Dog snickers. "What's the capitol of Russia?"

Dad sticks up his middle finger.

"What about you, Harley?" Glenn asks. "How's your side doing?"

I look up from the paper, where so far, I've drawn some spikey, green grass and colored in half the sky.

"It's a little better." I smile. "Y'know, I'm sorry for yellin' at you yesterday."

"It's okay. Don't worry about it."

T-Dog tsks, "What was all that about, anyway? What's up with Shane lately?"

"Maybe he's just feeling guilty about Otis." Glenn suggests.

"He's got a whole long list of things to feel guilty about." Dad says with distaste. "You wanna know who exactly it was that shot me?"

"No way."

Rick sighs. "I had a feeling."

"Why'd he go and do a thing like that?" T-Dog questions.

"'Cause he's off his fuckin' rocker, that's why." He retorts. "He hated my guts, so he went and shot 'em."

"Man, you think—? You think he left those supplies on purpose, then?"

I never thought of that. It would just add another layer of horror to that night.

"That poor guy Otis, man."

"Nothin' we can do about it, now. 'Less you think he's gonna do somethin' like this again, Daryl?"

He shrugs. "I'on know. Wouldn't put it past him."

"For now, I wanna keep this sorta thing to a minimum. I'm gonna ask Herschel again today about our arrangements here."

"We're only staying a week or two, right?" I pout.

"Until we find Sophia." Rick tries to smile. "But I'm gonna try change his mind."

"You still ain't find her?"

"No. Harley found her doll, but that's about it. We're gonna start grid-searching properly tomorrow."

I look back down at the page again, sad.

"Drawing done, now, chicken?" Dad asks, trying to lighten my mood a little. "Wanna show it?"

Nodding, I grab the sketch pad and turn it around so that they can all see. It's done. I drew me and my Dad in a field of flowers, but we're not holdin' hands or nothin' — We're killing walkers together. I don't think I got the crossbow exactly right, but I tried my hardest.

Dad laughs. "It's perfect, baby. That me?"

"Yeah. And me. That's the sun, and flowers, and a dead walker right there."

"Badass." Glenn approves.

"What that thing in the background?" Rick asks.

"Oh," I happily answer, "That's Dale. He's so scared, he ran away, and now he's just a little dot."

They all chuckle to themselves.

T-Dog offers to sit it on the chest of drawers, and it stands anew against a vase of real flowers, looking like it's belonged there all along.

Author's Note.

Finished this chapter at 5:49 AM 😣 Uuuuuuuuugh

Long author's rant below.

I got a comment the other day about how Shane was being really annoying, and I sort of agree. At first, I actually felt that way about Daryl, but now he's shown regret and apologized, and Shane's still a raging asshole set on taking Harley for himself. I guess he has good motives? Or HAD, at least... considering they've shifted from wanting to help her out a dangerous situation, to now being selfish. Then again... if I walked in on a man about to hit his 8 yr old daughter, I'd go apeshit, too.

It's going to be so satisfying when Shane gets what's coming to him. (I've been excited for it since the very beginning of this book. Rest assured, Shane will not see the light of day come Season 3.)

Started out as Daryl as the villain and Shane as the hero... Kinda switched.

Sophia's still missing... and Jim, he's MIA. Get ready for him to pop back up again.

Also, Harley is finally on good terms with Rick!! Took forever and a half but we got there. I chose to do this so he could replace Shane's role as pseudo-Uncle when the time comes. Glenn's already sort of there... but what's the harm in having TWO pseudo-Uncles? 😌

Anyway, I really hope you enjoyed reading this chapter.

Please leave your thoughts and feedback below. Sending lots of love!! <3

[yourlocalauthor]

What Comes Around Goes Around

Chapter Three: Suprise!

Pairing: Topper x OC (eventually?)

Warnings for this chapter: Just some good old fashion cussing, and a slightly scary scene with an older male so take that with a grain of salt.

Word count: 2k

A/N: so excited to be back to writing! get ready for the next chapter it’s going to be exciting <3

Jo drove back home, pissed she didn’t have her lemonade, pissed that her feet and sandals were all sticky, pissed Topper was such a fucking idiot, just pissed at the entire world. Worst of all Jess and Elle went for a day trip on the mainland, and Jo had no one to complain to. She pulled into her driveway, aggressively, just wanting to go lie on her bed and scream. Her mind came to halt as she slammed on her breaks, her face looking like she had just seen a ghost. She had barely put her car into park, before rushing out of it with the engine still running.

“JJ?” She yelled running to the blonde boy who had stood from his position on her front steps. She engulfed him in a hug, tears swelling in her eyes. JJ winced a bit at the hug, but soon his arms wrapped around her, returning the hug, a little tighter than he meant to. The two stood there for a minute just silent. Soon enough the hug came to an end, once Jo realized she was also angry at him. She quickly let go, shoving him.

“Where the fuck have you been? And what the hell happened to your face.” She said now noticing some fresh cuts and bruising. She took his face in her hands examining it, as he started to speak.

“I went out of town for a few weeks, couch surfed with some people on the mainland, and-” He hissed in pain when Jo touched his cheekbone pulling his face away from her. “Jesus Jo!”

“Sorry! Get inside I’ll clean you up and then you’re telling me everything.”

“Yes ma’am” He said, giving her a salute before opening her door. Jo flipped him, before walking back to her car and turning it off.

-

-

-

“So, I was staying at this shady dudes place, and I think he was watching me sleep so I came back here and slept on some boats, until I accidentally overslept this morning and the cops came and took me to my dad. He was wasted when I got home, so wasted I guess he thought I was a intruder or something cause uh…” He made some punching motions, laughing awkwardly. Jo frowned as she closed up the medical box, and tossed the bloody cotton balls.

“That’s not funny,”

“It is a little,”

She shook her head, starting to bandage him up.

“Where are you staying now?”

“Not sure, probably couch surf some more and then figure it out from there.”

Jo frowned looking at him, she carefully held his face, examining his bruises.

“Absolutely not, you’re staying here. At least until we figure a more permanent solution. My mom wont mind, you just can’t fuck anyone on the couch.”

JJ looked at her trying to keep a straight face, but barely lasting a few seconds before smirking.

“You are a pain in my ass Jackson”

“Oh you love me” She said, rolling her eyes and shoving him again. He winced, reaching for his side. “Shit, I’m so sorry, I’ll get ya some ice.”

“Thanks.”

She walked over to her kitchen grabbing some ice and filling it in a baggie. “So, is there anything you need? Besides this.” She tossed it at him, before sitting down next to him.

“Actually, there is one thing. I left my backpack at my dads.”

“Oh that's fine let's go grab it right now,” Already popping up, and giving him a hand.

“Just one problem… I left it inside by the front door…”

-

-

-

“No it’s fine, I’ll grab it fast in and out”

“I cannot believe you are doing this for me, I owe you big”

The two sat in Jo’s truck, parked right outside the Maybank house watching. With a deep sigh placing a hand on JJ shoulder.

“If I die, make sure my mom doesn’t find my weed.” And with that she let go and exited the car.

The Maybank house wasn’t much different from when she last saw it. Maybe a few more dead plants but that was it. She didn’t come here often, this only being her seventh or eighth time visiting. Jo took a deep breath, as she stood in front of the screen door. Carefully placing a hand on the handle she pulled it as quietly as possible before stepping onto the porch. She stepped forward, being as quiet as possible when she went to open the front door. Creak The door made a loud creaking noise, as it opened causing the brunette to flinch. ‘Shit.’ She paused, holding her breath as she waited for something to happen. Thankfully nothing did.

She opened the door further peering inside. Her eyes instantly landed on her target, as she stepped inside the old home. She snagged the bag, and almost made it out of the house when. ChackChack.

“Don’t move.”

‘Fuck fuck fuck fuck, titty fucking shit mother fucker why the fuck did she even volunteer to do this.’

“I want you to turn around carefully, no sudden movements or I’ll shoot you dead. Ya hear me?”

Jo stayed silent not moving a muscle, fear polluting her body.

“I said did ya hear me?” He cocked his gun again, this time taking a step forward.

“Yes sir.” She said, turning around, now facing him.

“Ain't you that pretty girl JJ hangs with, what business do you have in this house?”

“Sir, your son just asked me to grab his bag, that's all.”

Luke let out a hearty chuckle, the sound filling the house with a haunting echo. “Is that so? Where is the fucker anyway? He too pussy to come in, he had to send in his bitch?”

Jo stood there, not sure what to do or say. This had to be the worst outcome possible from this situation, and it was just her luck she had to actually deal with it.

“Hey! Didn’t your mother teach you any fucking manners? When an adult asks you a question you answer, now where is he?”

“Sir I”

ChackChack

“I’d choose your next words very carefully missy.”

Ptooey

Before she even fully understood what she was doing, Jo spat right at his face and sprinted out the door. She heard him yelling after her, and gunshots firing at her feet, but she just kept running. She swung the car door open, throwing the bag at JJ who huffed in pain. She reversed out of the driveway as possible, and sped down the street. It was only when they were a few miles away did she pull off to the side to take a breather.

“Holy fucking shit.” JJ said, excitement filling his voice. “I have never seen you run that fast before, you came outta there like a cheetah or some shit. Woosh!” He said laughing, before opening his bag.

“Yeah, I know I was there.” She said, rolling her eyes, before relaxing in her seat. “I think my heart is about to explode.”

“The fuck you even do to piss him off?”

“Oh you mean besides breaking and entering into his house? I spat at him?”

“No fucking way,”

“Yes fucking way,”

“You are officially my new hero, we have to throw you a party.”

“What? JJ babes I really don’t need that.”

“Nope! Party in your honor, tonight!” He said nodding, with a determined smile.

“No way you can throw a part in under three hours.”

“Watch me Josephine,”

“Don’t call me that,”

“Josephine, Josephine, Josephi-”

“Do you want to walk home?”

“No ma’am,”

“The shut the fuck up,”

Jo, turned around starting her car up again, heading back home.

“I still don’t believe you’ll be able to do it.”

“Fuck you,”

“Love you,”

Soon the car went quiet, until JJ spoke up.

“So, uh have you heard anything from the Camerons?”

Jo shook her head, tapping her steering wheel.

“I heard they threw a funeral for Sarah, and I did see Rafe at a party a few days ago.”

“Wait what?”

“Jess and Elle managed to drag me to some Kook party and we ran into him, he was def tweaked out. But Topper managed to get us out in one piece.”

“Wait hold up, Topper?”

“Yeah he even offered to drive us home-”

“Well did he?”

“Did he what?”

“Drive you home!” The blonde said in an obvious tone.

“Yeah we were all too wasted-”

“I don’t bye it,”

“Ask Jess,”

“I plan on it.”

-

-

-

-

Okay genuinely Jo thought JJ was joking around about the party. There hadn’t been one at the boneyard in weeks, everyone on the cut mourning the loss of John B. But now it was 7:23 and Jess was helping her pick something out.

“I swear to god Jo, you are not leaving this house in a bikini top”

“Jess it’s just a boneyard party-”

“That you’ll be the guest of honor at!”

“Jess babes it’s really not that big of a deal, I just won’t have to pay for my booze.”

Jess rolled her eyes, muttering something incoherently, as she sifted through the closet.

“Aha! Found it, here wear this.”

She tossed the brunette, some white really frilly shirt, causing Jo to frown.

“Absolutely not, here I’ll wear this.”

She pulled out a neon pink bikini, with a pair of black shorts. Jess shook her head, starting to put away the stuff on the bed.

“You are impossible Jo,”

“I know,” She said, smiling before walking over to the bathroom to go change.

“Are we meeting Elle there?” Jess yelled, changing into a pair of denim shorts and a white button up.

“Yeah, she has to wait until her mom gets home though.” Jo said walking back into the room.

“I’ll have to admit, you do look good.”

“Course I do.”

-

-

-

-

The drive to the boneyard was weird, for some reason it just seemed like time was going as slow as possible. Not that Jo really cared, her expectations for the part were low. She wasn’t expecting many people to show up, let alone be in a cheery mood. She was actually shocked today, by how lively JJ was. She remembered how devastated he was before disappearing, barely able to crack a smile, and never laughed. But as she pulled up to the boneyard, all her expectations were blown away.

The beach was jam packed, she hadn’t seen this many people here in what felt forever. There was a huge bonfire going, and multiple lines by the kegs, and at the heart of it all, was JJ.

“Holy shit! Did JJ do all of this by himself?” Jess asked, clearly blown away.

“I guess so,” Jo replied, almost at a loss for words.

JJ spotted her truck, and came running. The two exited the car, just as he made his way over a huge grin on his face.

“Jo you made it!”

Before she could respond, Jess butt in, still mesmerized by the situation. “JJ babes, did you really organize this all by yourself?”

“Well mostly, I did have a little help.”

Out of nowhere, Kiara and Pope appeared with two smiles on their faces.

“Surprise,” They both said in unison, still smiling.

Jo ran over to them, engulfing them in a hug. “You guys this is amazing,”

“Well, y’know this party is for you Jo, but we’re also sending a message. We’re letting those figure eight assholes know we're back, and never leaving. Again,” Pope said with a surprising amount of anger in his voice. Jo was a little confused, but didn’t want to question it.

“Well, I guess we’re back bitches!”

The group cheered, before walking over to the beach all catching up, and for the first time in weeks, Jo had forgotten everything that happened. At that moment, she was just there with her friends like it was any regular summer party. Little did she know, that night was about to unravel a series of events she never would’ve seen coming.

[avintagekiss24]

Home > Steve Rogers

|| pairing: 1940′s!steve rogers x black!reader

|| word count: 3,224

|| warnings: angst, fluff, hurt/comfort, mention of war, mention of Bucky’s death, canon divergence/canon adjacent

|| challenge: @cake-writes​ 1940′s challenge: “Loose lips sink ships”

|| square filled: @star-spangled-bingo​ 2020 O5: Steve’s Compass

|| note: I totally forgot about this challenge, lol. I signed up for it last year and it just totally slipped my mind until today. Which is why I’m posting so late (here in the US anyway) so I can make the due date of today, May 8th. This is canon adjacent? Canon Divergence? I don’t know, lol. All I know is it’s 1945 and Steve never crashes his plane. He goes home to get his girl. The timing might be a little off. I went off the MCU timeline, where he gets injected around 1939? When he’s around 21 years old.

The song reader is singing is Lover Man by Billie Holiday and her outfit is also inspired by Billie. I’m not sure of the gif credit, I got it from google. If you know, or if it’s yours, please let me know so I can credit you! Line credit once again goes to @writeyourmindaway​!

Brooklyn. 1945.

“The night is so cold and I’m so all alone. I’d give my soul just to call you my own.” 

You sway slowly as you croon into the microphone, the band playing behind you. You scan the small room, packed with bodies, all eyes on you as you sing. They sip on their drinks under the dim lights and there’s a low murmur from the people at the bar, but even they turn and lean against it to watch you, putting their orders on hold for just a few minutes. It’s still amazing to you - a transplant negro girl from Louisiana - having all these faces staring back at you, admiring you. Black faces, white faces, tan faces, it didn’t matter. They were all here for you.

The bar is a small one but word spread fast and within months, not a chair or table or stool could be found empty on a Friday or Saturday night when you were there. The cops don’t even really bother you or Sam, the owner and one of the first people to notice your talent, anymore. Some even stop by for a drink and a quick song. 

Your eyes flutter shut, “Got a moon above me but no one to love me. Lover man, oh, where can you be?” You hear the door creak open and close seconds later, but continue to sing, “I’ve heard it said that the thrill of romance can be like a heavenly dream. I got to bed with a prayer that you’ll make love to me.”

There’s a sudden commotion. You pop your eyes open, squinting as you try and make out the dark silhouettes in the corner. A few heads turn at the voices and loud shhhh’s ring out throughout the room. The noise dies away from the door, but the bodies are still crowded around - Jimmy, the bouncer, James “Rhodey” Rhodes, the bartender and maybe Sam, you can’t tell. In the center of them, a mess of blonde hair. 

----------

“Steve,” Sam whispers hard, “She doesn’t want you here, you know that.”

Steve’s shoulders slump a little as he takes a deep breath, “I haven’t seen her in six years.” He answers slowly, softly, “Please.”

Sam and Rhodey exchange glances before Sam takes a deep breath. He tosses his eyes back towards the stage to watch as you sing. Quick memories flash back to him from years before. Steve helping, well trying to help, set up the place when Sam first bought it. You and Steve slow dancing together in the middle of the empty floor. The three of you kicking back with ice cold Coca Cola’s, daydreaming about how big this place was going to be one day. 

He cuts his eyes back to the tall blonde in front of him. He didn’t believe it at first, when he saw a picture of him in the papers. The sickly, five foot something Brooklyn boy was now a towering six foot man. Rippling muscles, no lingering cough, a straight spine… this wasn’t the Steve Rogers that left for war. This is Captain America standing in front of him now. 

“Sam,” Steve starts, “Rhodey, you know me.” He pleads, “Please, just a minute of her time, that’s all I ask.”

Rhodey lets out a breath and throws his hand on his hip, “Just let the boy stay. He gets outta hand, Jimmy’ll throw him out.”

Steve cuts his eyes towards the burly Jimmy. He’s big, but he’s no match for the new, improved Steve Rogers, “I don’t want to hurt you, Jimmy.”

“Shit,” Jimmy swears under his breath, “I’ve read all about you. I don’t want you to hurt me neither.”

“One drink.” Sam warns, his eyes stern, “One drink and you gotta go. I don’t want her getting upset over the likes of you.”

Steve throws up his hands, “One drink.”

“You got it?” Sam asks, turning towards the soft-hearted Rhodey.

“I heard ‘ya. One drink, that’s it.”

Sam turns on his heel and moves off without another word. Rhodey waves Steve with him, walking back behind the bar to grab a tall glass, “Sip it slow, Rogers.”

Steve tips his head towards the older man and accepts the golden liquid that’s slid his way. He brings it to his lips and takes a small, slow sip as he turns to face the stage. His eyes soften immediately at the sight of you. You���re just as beautiful as he remembered, although, a little more grown up now. You’re in a black sequin, form fitting dress - low cut to expose your… one of his favorite parts of you. A large white flower is pushed into your hair and a small smile quirks onto his face. He used to love bringing you flowers. 

He closes his eyes so he can hear you, just like he used to. Suddenly, it’s 1935 again. The two of you, with Bucky pulling up the rear (only there for you and Steve’s protection), walk slowly home from school. They’d wait for you everyday, right around the corner of your school, and as soon as the two of you were out of eyeshot of anyone, he’d link his fingers with yours and kiss you right on your cheek. With your fingers laced together, your arms swinging gently, you’d sing some old song, one he’s never heard before, one you’d have to explain to him as an old southern spiritual. Bucky would always know the songs, but he wasn’t as sheltered as Steve. He was worldly already at seventeen. 

Steve lets out a slow breath as he lets the words of your song seep into him.

Strange as it seems

Someday we’ll meet and you’ll dry all my tears

Then whisper sweet little things in my ears

He has every intention of doing just that. 

----------

“A- huggin’ and a-kissin’, oh, what we’ve been missin’. Lover man, where can you be?”

You smile as the band finishes and the room erupts in applause for you. You thank the band, extending a hand of your own for them before you announce a short intermission for a quick smoke and a drink. Jimmy helps you off the stage and ushers you towards the bar, where you’re met with a large smile and a ready made Manhattan. 

“That was beautiful, doll.” Rhodey compliments, handing you a cigarette before striking a match, “Just beautiful.”

“You’re too kind,” you giggle as you lean forward, placing the cigarette to your lips for him to light, “I was a little flat.”

He waves you off, scoffing quickly, and gives you a wink before he moves to another patron. You take a drag of your cigarette and let out the smoke slowly before flicking the butt and bringing your drink to your lips. You hum lightly as the sweetened liquor slides down your throat and settles in your belly, giving you an instant warmth. You swear, you don’t care where you go, Rhodey makes the best damn Manhattan in all of New York. 

“You sounded amazing up there.”

You freeze as the voice sounds to your right. Your lips part as the familiar voice swirls around your brain, activating a part that you thought you had left behind. You turn towards the owner and gasp at the person staring back at you. You recognize most of him. His eyes, that wispy blonde hair that he used to sweep away from his forehead, those big ol’ ears. But, that strong jaw, the height, the thickness… you didn’t believe it then -  the stories, the pictures -  but God, you can’t deny it now. 

Doesn’t make you any less mad.

You drop your eyes back to the glass in front of you and take another drag of your cigarette, “Thank you.” You say flatly. 

“I always knew you’d make it one day.” Steve says softly, “I knew people would love you.”

“Not the right people apparently.” You snap back.

You close your eyes and rub your temple as the anger you buried six years before starts to resurface. You feel his eyes on you, those same blue eyes that you used to see your forever in. You turn back towards him, blinking quickly. You don’t say anything, you just stare at him while he stares back at you. Anger flashes through you again as he gives you those puppy dog eyes, trying to make you feel bad for him. 

“Why are you here?” You ask bluntly, “I told Sam I didn’t want you here.”

“I wanted to see you. I had to.”

“For what? Hmm? To spring something else on me, Steve? You have a wife? A kid on the way?”

He sighs as you practically scream at him, “It’s been six years, you can’t honestly still be this mad at me.”

“A lifetime could pass, and I still wouldn’t want to see your face.” You stand, grabbing your drink, “Give the Germans a message for me, hm? Tell them that if you’re still breathing, they aren’t doing their job so well.”

You turn and push through the crowd of bodies before he can say another word. You finish your set some hour or two later and stay behind for a little attention, after all, you are a single girl. You feel those eyes on you the entire while but you pay him no mind. You laugh, you flirt, you nuzzle in a little closer than you usually would - pull on a few ties. A twenty seven year old girl should be a wife. The man you thought would make you an honest woman decided war was the better option. 

It’s almost midnight before you decide to head home. It’s a nice night, the sky clear and full of bright stars, so you wave Sam off when he offers to walk you home. He insists, but you know this neighborhood like that back of your hand. You wouldn’t feel safer in any other place in the world. So, he wraps your fur scarf around your neck and sends you on your way with a quick kiss on the cheek and a smile. 

You’re not but ten steps away from the bar when you first notice the presence behind you. You stop to light another cigarette before you call out to him, “I don’t need you to follow me.”

“I’m gonna walk you home.”

“I don’t need you too.” You reinforce.

“I’m going to walk you home anyway. I’ll keep my distance, I promise.”

You sigh heavily. The persistence of him hasn’t changed and the pounding headache you have won’t let you argue. You walk slowly, taking in the fresh air and the calm night as the one and only Captain America follows you home. He keeps his distance, just like he promised. Once you climb the steps to your stoop, you turn again, watching as he stops at the bottom of the steps. 

“I’m home now, thank you.” You say flatly again, clearing your throat.

He nods gently, “My pleasure.”

You blink at him, your lips parting as words threaten to fall from them. You open your mouth wider, even inhale to begin to speak, but you can’t. The words just won’t come. The memories of your last night come flooding back to you - the screaming, the tears. If you walk out that door, don’t you ever think about coming back. Do you hear me, Steve? Don’t you ever come near me again!

Your eyes start to water at the thought. You have to turn your head away from him, you have to stare down the street to try and stop the tears from falling. It doesn’t work. You drop your head as a single tear slips down your cheek and splatters on your patent leather pumps. Your chin trembles as you glance back up towards the sky and hold your hand over your mouth.

“Let me make it up to you,” he says, his voice full of emotion, “I can fix it.”

“We had plans, Steve.”

“I know that,” he answers quickly, “You aren’t seeing anyone, are you?”

You scoff, crossing your arms over your chest, “Loose lips sink ships, Captain.”

He takes a deep breath, “I don’t really care if you or not. Let me fix it - I can fix it.”

“Fix it?” You shout as all of the pent up emotion you’ve held in for all these years comes pouring out onto your cheeks, “Fix it? How are you going to fix it? I’m just supposed to forget that you walked out on me? That you chose killing Germans over starting a life with me?”

“You don’t understand-”

“I don’t need to understand! You and Bucky both, you just -” 

Your words come to halt at the mention of his name. Steve drops his head as he swallows hard and has to close his eyes. Bucky’s mother didn’t even have a body to bury. You couldn’t breathe when you heard the news. His sister, Rebecca, came to tell you and you just… you hadn’t ever felt a pain like that. James Buchanan Barnes was good to you - loved you like you were one of his own. Not only had you lost the love of your life, you’d lost your best friend now too. 

You clear your throat, “You both just left. No warning, barely a goodbye and poof. Gone.”

“I thought about you everyday,” Steve says, his eyes still closed, “Every damn day. You were the only thing that kept me alive.”

You laugh sarcastically, “Don’t say that. I had nothing to do with keeping you alive, that shit you got pumped into you did.”

He shakes his head emphatically, “You kept my heart beating. That’s what I mean. I was fighting for you, and for Sam, and my mom and dad. I had a duty,” he stresses, his voice breaking under it, “You don’t understand what that meant to me, being able to fight.”

You roll your eyes but he continues anyway, “It had nothing to do with my love for you. I could have done it better, yes. I could’ve communicated with you better, yes, but it had nothing to do with how much I loved you. How much I love you even now… despite you wanting me dead.”

You sigh heavily as your words from earlier in the evening, “I didn’t - I didn’t mean that.” You answer softly.

He flashes a knowing smile, “Yeah you did.”

You roll your eyes again and shrug. You glance back down the street, sniffling softly as you hug yourself. You can’t lie to yourself, you are glad he made it home in one piece. You blink back at him, finding his big, wide, blue eyes on you still. He takes a step closer, resting his hand on the railing. He pulls something from his pocket, running his fingers over the gold cover before he pops it open.

He takes another breath as a small smile spreads on his lips. He turns it towards you and holds it out for you to take. You eye him suspiciously for a few seconds, but you take a step, and then another, and another until you’re within reach of the round object. You take it from his fingers and bring it to your eyes, taking a breath when you see a picture of yourself staring back at you.

“That’s my compass. I used it every day - I saw you every day. You are why I made it home.” He says softly, his watery eyes bouncing between yours, “I’m home now - for good, and that’s how I can fix it. I willingly offer you every day of my life from this minute on. Whatever you want, whatever you need, I’ll get for you. I’ll protect you, I will love you, I will honor and treasure you. I’ll give you every piece of me.”

You hold a hand over your chest, for fear that your heart will leap right out of it. You drag in deep breaths as you shake your head, “I don’t know you anymore. I don’t know you.”

“You know me,” he answers quickly as he pushes up the stairs to meet you, “I’m still me, just in a new body, that’s all.”

“I don’t want this new body. I loved you just as you were.”

He grabs your hands, bringing the backs of your fingers to his lips as you cry, “I know you did baby. Give me a chance, baby doll. Please? You’ll like this new body once you see it, I promise.” He smiles. 

You don’t. Deep in the back of your mind you want to believe him. You want to fall into his arms and have him kiss your tears away and make love to you until you can’t stand it anymore. You want to wake up in his arms tomorrow and every day after that until you take your dying breath - but it’s not that easy. You were idealistic in highschool and stayed that way right up until the day he left, but you aren’t now. You can’t afford to be. It’s still only 1945. He’s still a white man, you’re still a negro woman. You’re still not able to mix, not that boldly anyway.

“It’s not that easy.” You whisper.

He rests his forehead to yours, “It is that easy,” he whispers back, “Let me prove it to you.”

“No, it’s - they won’t leave us be. You can’t be with me - “

“Don’t you talk like that.” He says sternly, “I dare anybody to say anything to you. I’ll throw ‘em through a goddamn wall.”

“Steve - “

He cuts you off, bringing his finger to your lips. You close your eyes and take a few deep, calming breaths. God knows you want to believe him. You’ve been so angry for so long. He places his large hand to your chest, resting his palm right over your heart.

“I can make you love me again.” 

You inhale sharply as you look up at him, “I never stopped loving you, Steve. I never stopped.”

You moan when he crashes his lips to yours. He lifts you from your feet with complete ease, an ease you’ve never seen him display before, and crushes your now much smaller body to his. You wrap your arms around his shoulders as you kiss him back hard, pulling back only to tilt your head before diving back in for more of him. You press your hands to the sides of his face as you catch your breath, his lips moving down to your chin and to your neck, placing kisses on every inch of exposed skin. 

You dig into your purse, pulling out your keys. He pulls back - out of breath, his lips flushed red and swollen as he stares up at you. You push your keys into the palm of his hand and wrap your legs around his waist as you nuzzle your face into the crook of his neck. You close your eyes as he holds you tight, cradling an arm underneath your behind before he walks up to the front door of your building. He slips the key inside the lock and twists, pushing the door open, before you direct him to your humble apartment. 

You wake up in his arms the next morning, and every day after that until you take your last breath. 

[babbushka]

I would please like to request “are you gonna be good for me?” with Pale ❤️

(1.3k, blowjobs, dirty talk, name calling, come eating, come-shot, spit as lube)

He’s doing work in the living room real fuckin’ late one evening. The kinda work that makes him go cross-eyed almost, staring at paperwork that he really don’t give two shits about. But it’s part of the job and work is work and he likes having too much money to spend on you, so he does it. He smokes his cigarettes and stares at lines, wishin’ he were snortin’ them instead – until his vision is filled with your bare tits as you wedge yourself in between where he’s sittin’ and the table in front of him.

“Hel-lo.” He quirks a tired smile, eyes dragging up up up your body until they settle on your pretty eyes.

“Too busy for me?” You ask as you’re already climbing on top of him, straddling the spread of his legs as he leans back into the couch.

His hands are hot and large as they caress your thighs,  and he gives the elastic waistband of your panties a little snap against you skin that has you humming out a little laugh, there in the moonlight.

“Never too busy for you doll, but pretty fuckin’ busy.” Pale admits as he reaches one hand up and tangles it in your hair, scratches his blunt nails against your scalp in that way that’s got you meltin’ on top of him. “Gimmie a kiss, c’mere.”

His arms are a strong safe cage around you and you wriggle your way closer to him, your knees pressed tight against his hips as your mouth opens for him real sweet, wet and warm. Your shoulders curl in and he’s completely covered by your embrace, he drinks your happy sighs and low groans like the finest VSOP. You’re a real top-shelf kinda girl, he thinks, especially when you pull back and grin, your fingers running over the plush redness of his bottom lip.

“I missed you.” You kiss the corner of his mouth, the hard line of his jaw, your other hand rubbing at his chest, opening the little buttons on his silk shirt.

He feels his cock twitch in his pants, shifts a little on the couch so he can get more comfortable, so you know what he wants, you can tell, you’re smart. But he says it anyway, because he likes the way you smile at him real fuckin’ devious-like when he says,

“Oh yeah? Why don’t you show me how much.”

Your hands are clever and quick as they pull aside his shirt, exposing his bare skin to the chill of the apartment. But it ain’t chilly, not really, not when you’re right there kissin’ on him, suckin’ marks down his chest.

Down down down you go, slinkin’ off of him until you’re resting on your knees in front of the couch, until his cock’s hard in his trousers and you’re workin’ on gettin’ it free. He strikes up a cigarette and inhales real long, fills his lungs with the soothing weight of nicotine and you.

“Are you gonna be good for me?” He asks as you mouth at the fabric on his trousers, as you pull his zipper down with your teeth.

You huff a little laugh out and pull his cock out, holding it in your hands and makin’ his stomach swoop with the way you lick a fat stripe all the way up his shaft without ever once lookin’ away from him.

“No.” You say all too coy, before your lips close around the head of his dick, and you suck, and Pale curses out too loud.

You suck Pale’s dick like a champ, really you do. He’s fucked you long enough, often enough that you know what he likes, and he knows how you can take him, how to take him real good. Your cheeks hollow out as you swallow him down your throat, the contractions of the muscle makin’ him groan deep in his chest.

“You’re real fuckin’ good sweetheart, you know that? God damn, perfect mouth on me, made for me, just like the rest of you, just for me.” He smokes, blows it out slow slow slow as your hand works to make up for the last little bit of his cock you can’t fit inside your pretty mouth like this.

He knows how you can, if he were to force your head down, make you gag on it. But he don’t want to make you gag tonight, nah, not tonight. Not when you were bein’ so nice to him, so sweet, distractin’ him from all this.

“Shit baby, shit.” He lets his head thump back against the back of the couch and pets your hair slowly, your spit dripping down onto your tits from where you’re keepin’ hot cock nice and wet.

He looks down at you through lidded eyes and groans and moans and curses out your name, licking and kissing and sucking his dick, covered in your own spit and tears from the effort.

“Don’t you fuckin’ touch yourself you slut,” He says, smokes the cigarette down to the butt and pinches it out between his finger tips. You whine against his cock, and the vibrations make him dizzy, make his cock drip down your throat. “I know that pussy wants to be filled, I know. I can smell it, you smell so fuckin’ good I can practically taste it baby. Don’t worry I’ll fuck you right, I’ll come in you like you want you whore, but not yet. Not fuckin’ yet.”

He holds and caresses the back of your head as it bobs up down up down on his dick, alternating between sucking it and licking it, kissing it, rolling his balls in your palm and making his thighs go crazy. He wants to throw you down onto the bed and ram you hard, wants to make the bed fuckin’ bread under the force of him pounding you right.

“I’m make the fuckin’ walls shake for you sweetheart, we’ll have the neighbors callin’ the cops with how loud you’ll be cryin’ out on my cock, you got that? How’s that sound baby, tell me.” He rambles, always ramblin’ when you make him feel this fuckin’ hot in his suit.

You pull off his dick then, and what a sight that is, watching his cock slide out of your throat. It feels like it’s in slow motion, feels like it’s never ending, the way he keeps watching watching watching it pull free from your throat. You wipe the spit off your chin with the back of your hand as you grin up at him, nuzzling your face on his thigh as your hand strokes him off.

“Good Pale, real good, you promise?” Your voice is deliciously raspy, and he’s decided he’s gonna come right then and there.

He nudges your cheek with his knee and you smile, bite at your lips. Your tits look so good, he wants to get his hands around them and squeeze but you’re too fuckin’ far away, so he settles for pinching your nose and tipping your head back.

“I promise, now open up I’ve got a hot load for you and you better drink up every single fuckin’ drop.” He commands, and you do, your hand speeding up faster and faster, workin’ his cock harder harder harder.

You spit onto your palm to keep him slick, and he’s sweaty in his fuckin’ suit when he pinches your nose harder, makes your tongue stick out as he paints your face with ropes of his come.

It’s a fuckin’ waste, he thinks, he loves watching it slide outta your cunt, but he knows there’ll be time for that soon, real fuckin’ soon.

And when you blink against the impact of hot come on your cheeks tongue chin tits, Pale thinks this sure as shit beats paperwork.

[xxisxxisxxis]

Shining Star | Part Four

Words: 3k

Warning(s): explicit language, drug abuse, sexual situations, mentions of rape

Tag list: @teller258316 @reigns420 @xpoisonousrosesx @oskea93 @blowinmeupwithherlove @redlipscrystalskies14 @sparxx27 @kaitieskidmore1 @sublimeprincesswasteland @cruecifymesixx

LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT TO BE TAGGED

I nervously await my verdict, leaning against the wall plastered with Vogue shots of some of the greats in the modeling industry, smoke from my cigarette curling around my fingers as my mom comes back from the bathroom, sighing at the site of my smoking. 

"Stuff's not good for you, ya know." She remarks...pulling her cigarettes from her purse and lighting one up, too. 

I roll my eyes and don't argue, chewing the inside of my lip. 

The summer following graduation, I had been out with my mom grocery shopping when this creep started fawning over how "exceptional" I looked and insisted on flying us out to New York to get in touch with an agent he knew, Roseanne Thatchley...little did I know it was an invitation to hell.

"What's taking so goddamn long?" My mom grumbles on her third cigarette. 

I go to light another one up, but decide against it. 

I don't want to smell like a chimney when I go in there. 

By the end of her next smoke, mom's tossing the butt onto the floor and stomping to the door of the room I just met with the agency director in. 

"Mama, what're you doing?!" I whisper yell and she flicks me off and opens the door. "Mom." 

"What the hell is taking so long?" My mom demands impatiently. "She came in, paraded around like a damn farm animal just for you to take an hour and a half to pick whether you want her or not?" 

Roseanne looks at us pointedly and I want to sink into the floor. 

"Well, um, Miss Reilen, I have been trying to figure out a way to tell you…" She starts, clearing her throat. "I would really like to represent you, but there is something we must cover, first." She starts and I nod a little. "Your weight." 

I furrow my brows, confused, and she tries to clarify. 

"It says here you're 125 pounds, and you're only five-foot-three." She explains.

"Yeah?" I reply. 

"Most runway models are at least five-foot-nine and 120 pounds." She states. "I'm averaging someone your height to be about 105 pounds." She adds. 

"I'm at a healthy weight, most of it's muscle." I defend myself as politely as I can. 

"Models don't have so much muscle that it encapsulates a majority of their weight, dear." She tells me. 

"She's athletic." My mom interjects, pissed. 

"Athleticism doesn't equal chic, it doesn't equal Vogue and it won't get her to runway." 

"Are you smoking shit?"

"Mama, it's okay—"

"She's as fit for this as any of those starved coke-puppies draped in Chinese sweat-shop produced clothing on the cover of those magazines." She hisses and Roseanne smiles primitively and looks at me. 

"Slim down to 110 pounds, at the least, and we'll get started on your career." She informs me, standing up. 

"Suck my twat, Roseanne." My mom barks, turning to go, snatching me with her.

My mom was all about me not changing a thing about my physical appearance, until she learned how much money I could make doing it.

So what did I do?

"Look, I'm down to 116, but my body will not lose anymore than that--I've been working on it for the last two months and have tried everything short of starving myself." I tell Roseanna as I try to keep up with her where she's walking quickly to the elevator.

"Tansy, maybe you just aren't built for this." She suggests and I get defensive, stopping the elevator door that tries to close. 

"Tell what to do to lose the rest of it and I will." I state curtly and she raises her brows. 

"You want my honest recommendation?" She asks me. 

"Yes." I say, serious as a heart attack and she exhales, grabbing my hand and taking a pen, scribbling a number down. 

"There's a 'photography assistant,'" she explains, making sure to specify the fact he's not actually a photography assistant, "His name's Chester Straught, he goes by 'Sparkie,' though." She tells me and I furrow my brows. 

"Why 'Sparkie'?" I ask her. 

"Hell if I know, anyway call him and tell him Roseanne referred you and he will get you what you need to lose the weight." She assures me. "Come back when you're six pounds lighter." She adds and it stings to hear her talk about it so frivolously, like it's nothing major. 

"T-Thank you for this, and I will." I assure her before tucking my tail and scurrying at as fast as possible to get back to a payphone and call Sparkie. 

Sparkie ended up becoming my boyfriend of five years, and a nightmare all on his own without all the drugs in the mix, but of course there were plenty of those, too.

I exhale as the number rings again, hoping that he'll answer this time. 

He doesn't. 

I give up and head back to the hotel, trying my luck with their phone, and being met with a disgruntled, "hello?"

"Um, yeah, this is Tansy Reilen? Uh, Roseanne told me to give you a call and--"

"--Oh, Roseanne." He sounds much more accepting of my call, now, and I raise a brow. 

"Yeah, she told me that you'd have something to help me lose a few stubborn pounds." I explain, hearing him scoff from the other end. 

"More than that." He comments and I furrow my brows. "Look, I'll be outta town the next couple days, but come by my place Thursday and I'll get you hooked up." 

"Oh, okay." 

"You know what, gimme your address and I'll come by and pick you up." He offers. 

I know, I know, "Tansy, why the hell would you give a random stranger your address and let him come pick you up?" Because Roseanne trusted him and he was my only option to do what I thought had needed to be done. Would I suggest doing it? No. Would I do it now? Not a chance in hell.

I give him the address and room number and all he says is, "okay" before abruptly hanging up. 

I go back to my room and open the door to see mom laying on the bed, flipping through the T.V. 

"I talked to Roseanne." I inform her. 

"Did she tie you to a treadmill and make you sweat the rest out? Because I would've." She replies and I roll my eyes. 

"I have a meeting with a dude she referred me to see about the extra stubborn fat."

"Is he gonna cut it off? Because that'll fuck up your skin with scars and that's gonna blow your chances altogether." She keeps her eyes on the T.V. 

"N-No, mama." 

"Double checking." 

"Have you heard from Viv or one of the guys?" I ask her next, remembering I gave them our number in case they wanted to call. 

"Tansy, I'm not your secretary, I'm not taking your calls." She states and I breathe out, closing my eyes for a moment to collect myself. 

"Okay, Mama, sorry." I mumble. "I'm getting a shower." 

"Good luck, there's only cold water." She tells me. 

"I'll make due." I reply, grabbing a ratty towel. 

Once I'm done and dry off, I head out of the bathroom, about to ask my mom what she wants to do for dinner…

"So, I'm thinking pizza if that's alright with--" I stop talking when I see my mother is nowhere in sight, but random stranger is in my room, sitting on the edge of the bed. 

I take a step back to the bathroom, ready to dodge inside and lock myself up. 

"Your mom told me to tell you she's out and about." He tells me, casually, taking a drag of his cigarette. 

"Umm, o-okay, are you…?" 

"Oh, yeah, Sparkie." He leans forward, reaching his hand out to shake mine and I stare at it for a moment. 

I didn't want to be rude and tell him to "fuck off," especially since I was curious to know how exactly he was going to help me lose the extra six pounds. With his long hair, shadow of a beard, crinkled corners of his eyes when he smiled, he didn't look too scary...but when he dug in his pocket and pulled out two baggies, beckoning me to come closer, my perception slowly started to shift.

"I'm not gonna bite," he tells me with a grin, nodding me over as he stands up.

I slowly step to him, my hands securely around my towel as I stand beside him. 

He smells like cigarettes and laundry detergent, an odd, but comforting smell, and something I wouldn't guess him to smell like. 

"Alright," He grins, one baggie having what looks like cocaine in it, the next is a capsule I don't recall seeing before. "Your options are cocaine," He tells me and I raise my brow. "Or a tapeworm." 

"A tapeworm?" I question. 

"Well, not the worm itself, it's egg. You swallow it and it grows in you and sucks away anything you swallow, and even stuff you don't." He explains and I can tell I probably look terrified. 

"Coke is an option, too, ya know…" he reminds me and I nod slowly.

"I'll just stick with the coke." I softly tell him and he hands it to me with a shrug, tucking the other back in his pocket. "So, what do I owe you?" I ask next, walking to my purse to grab some cash. 

"It's free." He tells me, and I stop and look at him. 

"Are you sure?" 

"First round is always free, the second round is gonna cost you, though." He says. 

"Okay, how much?" I dig through my purse for my wallet and he stops me, looking down at me. 

"A date." He tells me and I look at him oddly. 

"What? I don't know you." I laugh it off. 

"You could," he says. "I mean, c'mon, what are the chances you weren't able to shred those few more pounds and Roseanne gave you my number for you to call? Huh?"

"Very likely since she probably does it all the time." I point out. 

"Yeah for chicks who actually need to lose weight." He argues. "If you ask me, I think you're beautiful enough as is." 

"You think so?" 

"Are you kidding me?" He chuckles, looking me up and down. "Tell ya what, you won't have to pay me for drugs, ever, if you just go on one date with me." He offers. "We can go to the movies or something--so it doesn't have to be a date you have to talk to me on." He adds and I giggle, honestly contemplating it.

"I don't do drugs enough to need a regular dealer, though." I inform him. 

"Okay, well, you won't have to pay for anything, ever, if you just go on one date with me."

Thinking on it once more, I nod.

"Okay, one date." I tell him. "To a movie. You're buying." 

"With pleasure. Pick you up tomorrow night at 8:00pm." He agrees and I nod. "See you then." He heads for the door. 

"See you then." I mutter to myself as he shuts the door, before falling back on the bed, looking up at the baggie of coke. 

Dreading the burning that's gonna be put on my nostrils, I take a breath and go find my room key. 

He didn't exactly leave directions to tell me when to take a hit of some, how much, for how long, etc. I figured that baggie would last me a few days and I'd be going back to him soon enough. It seemed simple enough despite nothing in my life being "simple." I figured "what could possibly go wrong?" 

Taking one too many doses and going on our date coked out, only for this...

I throw my head back, moaning, my hands in Sparkie's hair, his face between my legs, my body numb from orgasm and strong stimulant coursing through me.

...To happen. 

We didn't even make it out of the hotel room he got next door to ours.

He rolls away from me once I decide to take a break, my once perfectly curled hair is now damp and unruly, each strand smelling of cigarettes, bitter powder, sweat, and Aquanet. 

I glance over him, actually taking time to examine him head to toe, well, head to waist to toe, since he still has his jeans on.

He's lean, but not a "fit" lean, like "junkie" lean. 

I catch my breath and sit up, pulling the covers on top of me and he licks his lips, lighting his cigarette with the candle on the table next to the bed.

The slug of soberness is starting to creep into me. 

"So," I start, clearing my throat. 

"So." He replies, grinning. 

"Why do people call you Sparkie?" I ask and he blows smoke from his lips, shaking his head a little. 

"I used to be real bad into freebase." He admits, coughing. "Not necessarily partaking in it, but I'd cook it up for people. If you're not careful you can really fuck yourself up while trying to get it just right. I got caught in a pretty gnarly blow-up with ether." He explains, sitting up and turning to show me his back with a bad burn scar down the right side of his ribs. 

"I'm sorry." I tell him, wincing slightly and he shrugs it off. 

"It was good money, it didn't stop me from doing it." He adds and I look at him like he's crazy. "You think I'm a fucking psychopath but I really do like my job, ya know? I'm big into chemistry so that part's interesting when it comes to getting stuff broken down in an easier form, and I see these people that come to see me for a fix. And they're broken, and they're miserable, and for just a little while I get to be a part of the solution, ya know? Watching them be so wired and stressed and sad and then watching all that fade from their face when they start feeling good it's just...a feeling I can't explain. I get a high off helping them feel that." 

"Are you not a part of the problem, though? I mean, yeah they feel great for a while, but once it wears off they fall lower, don't they?" 

He just chuckles. 

"I'm like the fucking messiah, Tansy. People take my hand and they're healed. If they need another round of healing, they know where to find me, and they always do." He states.

"You're so full of shit." I giggle and he keeps chuckling, his hand going to his pocket, pulling out a small baggie of a few pills. 

"What is the one thing you are the most worried about right now?" He asks and I look up at him, rubbing my lips together. 

"That I'm gonna get sent home." I tell him, trying not to let my voice break, but keeping my smile.

"Alright, well, I'm telling you now, they're not sending you home." He assures me. 

"How do you know?"

"I just do." He grins gently, grabbing a pill and holding it just above my lips.

"What is that?" I ask him. 

"Something to ease off the coke." He informs me and I raise a brow. "Do you not trust me?" 

"No." I laugh and he raises his brows. 

"You just let me eat you out and you don't trust me?" He asks. 

"I don't." I shake my head, giggling. 

He gets this wise-ass smile, and pops the pill into his own mouth. 

My mouth opens slightly in offense and he laughs as he tries to roll away from me but I stop him and roll over onto him, my lips finding his before I can control myself, and I let him push his tongue with the pill on it into my mouth, his arms wrapping around my waist as I swallow it down. 

To make this clear, this isn't romantic, this isn't cute, this isn't, "oh, she found the love of her life,"--clearly--because the little bits of getting high together off God knows what would soon turn into me looking like Skeletor, not even remembering my nights, and eventually my days, completely blacking out at photoshoots--which would be my goal--and waking up to random men throughout the years together that I would eventually find out Sparkie let rape me.

At the time, in that moment, in that room with what I thought was a pretty good guy, with an odd job for a backwards reason but thinking his heart was in the right place, I thought we would be great together and he could be what I would grow old or at least to thirty, next to.

And we were great together...in terms of destruction.

[notyouneveryou]

one word prompts

i’ve been sturggling with writer’s block for a while, particularly with fiction, so i did an exercise where i wrote 100 words per prompt, and tried to time myself to some songs from the cockroach cam playlists.

DULL

Edgar lazily dragged the pad of his thumb along the knife's edge, frowning when it didn't leave a bloody cut on his skin as he expected.

The metal must have grown dull from misuse, and he made a mental note to sharpen it soon before setting it aside and lying back on his mattress with a soft sigh, hands tucked under his head. Toes tangled in soft, cotton sheets as he stared up at his ceiling, letting his head drift away from him.

The speakers on his laptop were low quality and almost crunchy sounding, but they scored his dissociation perfectly, he thought.

COP

"Soooo, what's your gig then, stranger?" Edgar asked, the smile on his pointed features mischievous and almost teasing as he sipped from his slushie.

"I'm a detective actually," Nash replied, his tone calculated and pseudo-charismatic, reaching for the worn pack of cigarettes in his coat pocket. "I work with the City Police."

"Oh, so you're a cop?" A slight grimace came to Edgar's face which made Nash laugh almost immediately as he dragged a cigarette from its pack with his teeth, quickly lighting it with a flourish of his zippo lighter. "Not to be rude or anything, man, but you're, like, way too hot to be a police officer."

SAVE

"Hey kid, you okay?"

Still breathing heavy, his heart pounding hard under his chest, Charlie looked up at his saviour, blinking wide brown eyes at the hand extended out to help him.

"Dude, you, like, totally saved my life." He managed to blurt out as he reached out for the stranger's hand, somewhat surprised by how easily they managed to pull him to his feet.

"What happened? Were they trying to rob you or something?"

"No clue, man, doesn't look like they stole anything," Charlie said with a slight frown. "Probably just a kid fucking around, but shit. Sure scared the fuck outta me."

COFFEE

"Hey babe!" Edgar said, his voice as cheery and saccharine sweet as ever. "How's it going?"

"Eddie, what are you doing here?" Charlie asked, his voice fond but somewhat confused. "Isn't your place on the other side of town?"

"Yeah, but I had some errands to run in the city today," The younger man explained, smiling brightly as he effortlessly hopped onto the counter and revealed a brown paper deli bag and to-go coffee cup with a flourish. "So I thought I'd surprise you! We can have lunch together when you're on break!"

"Baby, that's really sweet, but this is a little-"

"Whaaat, is it so weird that I wanna see my boyfriend on his break?" Edgar pouted, eyes big and shiny with unshed tears like a rejected puppy.

MINOR

"Come on, Eds, you wanna be good for me, don't you?" Nash asked, still sitting at the end of the bed.

"You shouldn't talk to me like that, Nash." A frown pulled Edgar's delicate features down, his dark brows knitting together in irritation as he crossed his arms over his chest. "I'm not a kid."

"Good thing you're not one then, isn't it?" Nash smirked around his cigarette as he stood up and slowly approached Edgar, letting his free hand rest on the younger man's hip once he was close enough. "Wouldn't wanna get arrested for soliciting a minor."

"God, you fucking perv." Edgar rolled his eyes and looked away from Nash.

OR

"How about we play a game?" The sickly sweet smile to Cockroach's voice was clear, even when their face was covered, and that smile only seemed to grow when the victim started to plead again.

"Please...please, just stop this already. I'll give you anything, anything you want-"

"Hey! No, no, we've already played that game!" Cockroach's typically cheerful demeanour changed in an instant when they shouted, interrupting the begging and pleading, reducing their victim back to shuddering sobs. "Come on, it'll be fun, I promise!" The smile was back as Cockroach squatted down to the victim's level, reaching into the pocket of their shorts and holding out a small, silver coin to them.

"You just have to choose...heads OR tails!"

YOUNG

"Didn't know you were a fag now, Nash."

"What I am, Evans, is none of your fucking business." Nash sneered, crooked teeth grinding down on the butt of his cigarette as he glared at his neanderthal coworkers, all of whom stayed silent as Evans spoke. "Why do you suddenly give a shit who I stick my dick into anyway?"

"Hey, I'm just saying, man." Evans shrugged as he ate, seeming casual but the shit-eating smirk on his face suggested otherwise. "I don't care if you're a fag, but don't you think he's a little young for you? He looks like a high schooler, for fuck's sake."

"And I'm sure you'd know all about sticking your dick in high schoolers, wouldn't you?"

[softboywriting]

Alone Together | Shawn Mendes

Summary: You and Shawn have been friends since you were in high school. The two of you never got together, the time was never right. Now at twenty five you’ve got a lot on your plate and Shawn is there to help out. [non-au] [fluff] [sfw]

Word Count: 10k

|Masterlist In Bio|

A wedding dress hangs in the closet of a house that's not yet lived in. New things fill the rooms, the paint smell and new wood odor not completely gone yet. Funny. You're not sure why you decided to bring the dress to the house first, maybe just to put new with new, maybe just to remind you of what was never meant to be. You look around. Everything is perfect, beautiful and so...lonely. Never in your life had you had a new home, never did you have all new things. This was a first and you just have the hardest time wrapping your head around the fact that this is all yours. It's all yours and no one else's.

The phone rings and you pull it from your pocket. It's Shawn. Your best friend from high school, your long time crush, the one guy you trust above all others. “Hey,” you answer softly.

“Hey, what's up?” It's so good to hear his voice. Soothing and just as calming as you remember. It's been ages since he's called. You always text, and even then with his hectic schedule he doesn't always have time to chat.

“Nothing. Just bringing stuff to the house.”

“Oh you did get it! The documents were in your name then?”

“Yep.” You lay back on the unmade bed and stare at the fan overhead turning lazily on low. “Everything is in my name. The house, the car, I took everything.”

“I still can't believe Evan did that to you. I wish I could beat his ass.”  

“Yeah I know. God, can you believe I actually thought he loved me? What a joke that was.”

Shawn sighs and the two of you remain in silence for a while. “He really just wanted you for the money huh?”

“Yeah,” you chuckle sadly. “Glad I figured that out. How he managed to skate by for two years without letting me know he was collecting disability on a fake injury and using most of it to buy alcohol, I will never know.”

“Disgusting. Well I was just calling to check on you. I know it's been a few months and we've talked a few times but I just wanted to make sure you're good.”

“I'm figuring it out. Thanks for calling though.”

“Of course, don't feel bad about calling me if you need me. I'm in town.”

“I'll keep it in mind, but anyway, I'll talk to you later okay?”

“Can I stop by at the end of the week?”

“Sure. I'll be all settled in by then. You're actually home?”

He chuckles. “Yeah, I'm home. Talk to you soon, later tater.”

You giggle and let the phone fall beside your head. Shawn always made you feel better. He was truly a gift from the Gods.

_________________________

“All moved in?” Shawn asks as he walks into the house and looks around. “Looks great.”

“Yep.”

“You don't sound thrilled.”

“I'm not. It's so big and empty without anyone here. I should have just sold the place, but I had all the furniture already and I even picked out the counter tops. God. This shit blows.”

“Honestly I can relate to the lonely house feeling. It's pretty garbage, so I always go out or have company.” Shawn flops on the couch and sighs. “I can stay over a few days if you want?”

“I don't know. Aren't you worried about getting followed here?”

Shawn shrugs. “Paps don't bug me in Toronto unless I'm at the airport. I'm not too worried, besides it's a semi private community.”

You sit next to him and he rubs his hand up your back. “I guess it'd be nice to have someone familiar around for a few days.”

“It's a deal then. I'll crash on your couch and you can have a piece of mind. We can be alone together.”

You lean over against his shoulder and he rubs your head. You really missed having him around all the time like it was back in high school. Between you going to college and then graduating to his touring and making a career as an entertainer, you just hardly had time for each other anymore. Somehow that felt like it was going to change.

_________________________

Monday morning. It's just after five when you get up and get ready for work, opting for a messy ponytail and your pink scrubs. Working as a nurse in a children's hospital was nice, no one cared if you looked a little tired, and the kids loved your bright colored scrubs. It was your dream job and you honestly couldn't be happier than you were the last year and a half on the staff at Clarkson Children's Hospital. Well, happy with the exception of your ex fiance but that was in the past now. You were done with it, refused to let it haunt you.

The kitchen is dark and you flip on the light just to be startled half to death by the form of a nearly naked man in just his boxers with his back to you. In an instant you register that it's Shawn and you should definitely not throw the nearest object at him.

“Morning,” he chuckles, a cereal bowl clattering in the sink as he turns to face you.

“You scared me.” You can't help the way your eyes travel down his chest and over his dark boxers. He is... impeccable. You are in awe of his body, and honestly you can't remember seeing it this close since you were teenagers at the pool, and even then he made your stomach flip flop. “Why are you awake?”

“Couldn't sleep.”

“You can sleep in my bed. I mean, like, if it's the couch that kept you awake.”

Shawn chuckles and pushes off the counter. He saunters over to you and puts his hand on your shoulder. “It's not the couch that's keeping me awake. But thank you for the offer.”

“Oh...okay.”

He kisses your cheek and wishes you a good day, saying something about being home late tonight and that he doesn't want you to wait up. You will though. You won't be able to sleep without him there.

_________________________

A few days pass and you are appreciative of Shawn being at the house with you but it doesn't seem to be enough. It seems like no matter what you do, you can't shake the fact that Evan was supposed to be in that house with you. That he was the one who picked out the furniture with you. Everything reminded you of him and it was getting under your skin like crazy.

You end up getting sent home on Friday because you're so exhausted, having not been sleeping hardly at all. Your best friend and coworker Liz won't have you passing out at the nurses station every ten minutes, so she offers to cover your shift for the rest of the day and Saturday.

It's Friday night and you're not feeling the least bit tired anymore. You aren't sure what to do because you don't want to just leave, you have nowhere to go. And frankly you don't want to leave your bedroom because everything outside of it reminds you of Evan.

“Anybody home?” Shawn asks loudly from outside the bedroom, getting closer. “Hello?”

“I'm here!”

Shawn opens the door and peeks his head in. “Hey, how are you doing? Did you come home sick or something?”

“No. I was just tired.”

“...and they let you go home?”

You shrug.

“No no no. What's wrong?”

“I haven't been sleeping well.”

Shawn comes in and flops on the bed. “You wanna get outta here? The high school is having an open house, we can go for a walk down memory lane?”

“I dunno. You wanna?”

“Yeah!” Shawn grabs your hands and pulls you up to sit with him. “We can see if the scuff on the wall is there from when I fell down the stairs and broke my arm.”

“Oh my God that was gruesome.”

“Yeah I know. Let's go, come on.”

Half an hour later and the two of you are strolling into the lobby of the high school. There are parents and teens everywhere, wandering from classroom to classroom. You and Shawn walk toward the back stairs where Shawn broke his arm.

“They painted and fixed it,” Shawn groans, fingers smoothing over the place where the scuffed dent from his head hitting the wall used to be. “Lame.”

“You're so weird. Oh my God, remember my junior year locker? It was next to the men's bathroom and I was always getting investigated for having cigarettes because the guys who smoked in the bathroom always stuck the butts in my locker door.”

“Yeah!” Shawn grabs your hand and drags you up the stairs and down a hall to your old locker.

“God it still stinks.” You put your hand on the blue locker and shake your head. “Remember when we used to all wait here before classes started in the morning because it was closest to the vending machine down there?”

Shawn looks back at the vending machine that provided many a quick breakfast. “Yeah, I ate so many fruit snacks from that thing.” He turns back, leaning on his shoulder against the locker doorway. “I remember the first time I kissed you here too.”

“Oh, yeah. That was my first kiss.”

“What? I never knew that.”

“Yeah,” you laugh. “God I had such a crush on you after that.”

“Oh yeah? That why you made out with me at homecoming that year?”

You flush and look down, embarrassed and annoyed at the same time. “I didn't make out with you at homecoming.”

“Yeah you did?”

“No that was Sarah Linskey. You thought it was me?” You can't believe he really didn't know. All these years and he thought that was you.

Shawn pushes off the locker and folds his arms over his chest. “I definitely thought it was you. Damn, no wonder you were so cold to me that next week. I had no idea.”

“Wait, are you saying you wanted to make out with me? Not Sarah?”

“Yeah why wouldn't I have wanted to? I thought maybe I was really bad at kissing or something and that's why you never talked about it again and cold shouldered me.” He runs a hand over his hair a laughs, taking a few steps back. “We never got together because of a misunderstanding. Ain't that something.”

“We were so stupid. God, if we would have just  talked to each other we could have been together.”

“Maybe it wasn't the right time.”

“You're right.”

Shawn throws his arms around your shoulders and tugs you against his side. “Let's get out of here. I'm tired of memory lane. We can grab some fries and go home.”

_________________________

Saturday. Shawn wakes you up with plans for a housewarming party tomorrow. You're not usually one for parties let alone hosting them, but it might help you get out of this funk to have all your friends around you. Besides, you really need to get your life back to normal.

All day you plan things out with Shawn, from food to music to setting up a volleyball net out back. He is bound and determined to get you settled and comfortable in the house.

Shawn walks in that evening with a bag of food for tomorrow's party and you're leaning against the counter, staring at the ring Evan had given you when he proposed. It was the only thing you had left of him.

“Hey you,” Shawn says to get your attention.

“Hey.”

“What's wrong? You look confused or something.”

You watch as he unpacks cheese and meat and a variety of vegetables. You're not sure what to say, how to explain that you don't know what to do with the ring.

“Talk to me.”

“Do you think I should keep it?”

“What?”

You push the ring toward him and he steps over to the island to see what it is.

“Is that the ring from Evan?”

“Yeah. It was expensive probably, I just..don't know what to do with it.”

Shawn picks it up and turns it over in his fingers. It looks so small compared to his hands. “Sell it?”

“But...”

“No buts. Sell it or throw it out. Get rid of it. The damn thing is haunting you with the energy it has from him gifting it to you. Let it go and let yourself be free.”

You grab it off the counter as Shawn turns away. “You really think it's that bad?”

Shawn stuffs the plastic bags from the groceries into a bucket under the sink and stands back up to lean on the counter opposite you. “I don't think so, I know so. That thing is bad.”

“It's just a ring though. Just metal and rocks.”

Shawn comes around and takes the ring from your hand. He walks back around to the sink and drops it in the trash compactor.

“Shawn! NO!”

He reaches over and flips the little switch behind the sink and the blades come to life, whirring and clanking the ring around loudly until it stops and you assume it's fallen into the disposal bin. “It's gone. I took care of it. No more ring. No more Evan.”

You stand there, staring at him in complete shock. Part of you hurts and is angry he just did that, but part of you feels relieved that it's gone. You don't even know what to say. Thank you? Fuck you?

“Stop thinking about him. You're never going to get over this if you keep letting everything remind you of him.”

You look down and shake your head. “You're right. I need to stop caring. I don't think I ever really wanted to marry him anyway. I think I just said yes because I was happy enough and he was alright.”

“You don't have to do that. It's okay if you're hurting, you don't have to marginalize your relationship with him or see just the negative to get over it.”

“I was so stupid.”

Shawn comes around and cups your cheeks and turns your face up to look at him. “No you are not stupid. You had a bad experience and he didn't turn out to be who you thought he was. At least you found out before it was too late, before things got too out of hand. It's okay you can be upset and angry and you're allowed to feel heartbroken, but you can't let it control your life.”

Tears burn your eyes and you let out a soft sob, eyes searching Shawn's for comfort. Of course you had cried and of course you were angry about the fall out with Evan. But it has been months now and shortly after it happened you started boxing it up, shoving those emotions in the dark cubby holes in your mind. Repressing just to get through work and buying the house and everything, but now the cubbies are too full and they're starting to spill out.

“It's okay,” Shawn whispers, thumbs swiping away tears. “I'm here.”

“You don't have to deal with this. It's not your problem. You have your life and stuff. Go be a rockstar.”

“You know my family and friends come first. Besides, I'm just working on some tracks here at home. I'm on a break for a while.”

“Yeah...well... whatever.”

He chuckles, kissing your forehead. “Yeah whatever yourself. Go get cleaned up. I need help preparing all this food for the party tomorrow.”

“I don't even wanna throw a party anymore.”

“We already invited everyone. Please?”

You roll your eyes at his big brown eyed puppy dog look with his lip poked out and everything. He always got his way. Damn him for making you soft. You wipe your eyes with the back of your hand and sniff a little. “Fine, fine. I'll go change and get cleaned up. Don't burn the place down.”

_________________________

The clock on your night stand reads a quarter past two in the morning. You can't sleep. That much is obvious. Your mind is racing, jumping from thought to thought as you scroll down your Facebook feed. What if Evan was the best you could do? What if you don't find anyone else who will want you? How do you explain to your friends that Shawn lives with you? Is Shawn living with you? Round and round the thoughts go, keeping you tossing and turning for ages. One thought leads to another and another and eventually you're lying there remembering how Evan called you a selfish bitch. How he said he loved you, that he was the best you could get. How you owed him. You roll over and your phone slides off the bed, landing with a thump on the floor.

Your chest tightens up and you let out a sob. Why couldn't you just forget? Why couldn't this all just go away? He left you so broken it wasn't fair. He was probably out there scamming some other girl by now.

A knock on your door makes your heart stop. For a moment you're terrified that on the other side is Evan. For a split second you think he is back and you think you're going to be sick. Until a voice comes through. A soft, kind, soothing voice. It's Shawn.

“Hey, are you awake?” He asks, opening the door just enough to get his head in. “I just came up to check on you, I heard something fall.”

“It's was my phone,” you croak, desperately trying not to sound upset.

“Can I come in?”

“No.”

“Would you be mad at me if I came in anyway?”

You remain silent. He could come in if he wanted. It wasn't like he didn't already know you were crying, you were doing a shit job of hiding it.

The bed sinks beside you and you roll towards him a bit. His hand comes down on your shoulder, pulling you over to look at him. The room is dark, not pitch black but dark enough he shouldn't be able to make out your puffy eyes and red nose.

“Do you want me to sleep with you?”

Very good question. Did you? Would it help? Would it somehow make your brain slow down enough to sleep, or would it get worse because it would switch to thoughts of Shawn? There was no right answer. You have no idea what to do right now.

“I don't know. Maybe.”

Shawn shifts around until he is under the blankets, warm body aligned with yours. His arm snakes around your chest and pulls you back against him. He is a pillar of comfort, of warmth and safety. His cologne alone is enough to make you relax your shoulders you didn't know you were holding so tightly.

“Is this okay?” his voice is like a purr, vibrating through your back as he speaks low and into your hair. “I know when I'm overwhelmed it helps to have someone to hold onto.”

“Yes. Thank you.”

“I don't mind staying until you're asleep.”

“Can you stay even after I fall asleep?”

“Of course.”

“Thank you.”

He presses a kiss to the back of your head. “You're welcome. Go to sleep.”

_________________________

The housewarming party is in full swing when you find yourself in the bathroom an hour in, clutching the sink with both hands, staring at your reflection. No one had asked about Evan yet. Maybe they wouldn't, maybe everyone knew he was a sore subject.

“In the drawer by the fridge!” Shawn calls out in answer to something someone has asked and you hear him getting closer, footsteps loud on the wood floor.

You flush the toilet for show and open the door just as Shawn approaches it. “Looking for me?”

“How'd you know?” He smiles.

“I just knew.”

Shawn grabs your hand, tugging you closer. “Come on let's go get drinks.”

The two of you walk into the kitchen and your friend Liz eyeballs you like you've got egg on your face. You shrug at her, sending a look of “What? Something wrong?” To which she does a little head shake and turns back to opening a bottle of wine. You knew she was up to something.

The next few hours go great. Everyone has a good time, drinking, eating, chit chatting about the house and how work is going for you. No one brings up Evan. Not once. It's perfect, and you think maybe Shawn was on to something when he said this would help you get out of your head about him. It was definitely helping, making memories in the house that didn't involve him.

The night winds down and you find yourself a little drunker than you mean to be. You're on the deck and Shawn is sitting on the swinging bench, your mutual friend from high school, Brian, beside him. They're talking about something to do with recording that you aren't really making out. The two deck chairs are taken and you're about to go back inside when Shawn catches your hand with his as you pass him to go through the sliding door.

“Yeah?” You ask and he just smiles warmly, cheeks rosy. He's drunk too.

“Where ya going?”

“Inside. There's nowhere to sit out here.”

Shawn leans back and pats his leg. “You can sit with me?”

“You don't mind?”

“Nah. Come on, Brian and I were just talking about the studio I want to have one day so I can just record anytime I like.”

You take a seat on his lap and the bench swings out a bit, making you fall back into his chest. He puts his arm around your middle and situates you so you can lean against him. It's intimate. Far more than you think you've ever been with Shawn, but it was comfortable.

Brian pauses for a moment, discussion on hold as he watches you get comfortable. He picks right back up though, saying how a studio would require a house to set up in if Shawn wanted to do it in comfort. The two talk a while longer and you find yourself passing out against Shawn's shoulder.

“You wanna go to bed?” He asks softly against your ear.

You nod.

“Alright.” Shawn tightens his grip around your waist. “Brian, I think it's time to head out.”

Brian gets up, going and bumping the arms of the two guys over on the deck chairs. They get the hint and the three of them head for the door to inside. You and Shawn follow close, his hand on your back as you see them out of the house with thank you's and see you soon's.

“You coming Shawn?” Brian asks, last to leave as he stands in the doorway.

“Nah, I'm gonna stay and help clean up a little.”

Brain raises his eyebrows and you yawn. “Wanna grab lunch tomorrow?”

Shawn grabs the door and starts to close it. “Maybe. See you later dude.”

The moment the door is closed and Shawn flips the lock, you're wrapping your arms around him and pressing your face into his back, eyes heavy. “Thank you for setting this up. I had a lot of fun.”

“Of course. Now come on, you're tired.” He turns around and puts his arms around you, walking you back to the base of the stairs.

“Carry me?”

“Really?” He chuckles, looking down at you with his hands on your hips. “I'm not sure I should.”

“Come on. You can do it.” You put your arms on his biceps and squeeze gently with a giggle. “Big...so...big.”

Shawn leans down and kisses your cheek before whispering in your ear, “You're really drunk.”

“You are too.”

“Yes,” he crowds against you, hands squeezing your hips. “And I can't carry you right now or I might fall. So please walk upstairs with me.”

“Will you stay?”

“The night?”

“In my bed.”

Shawn hugs you close, hand across your back and one in your hair. “As long as you want me to. I will.”

_________________________

“When did you and Shawn start dating?”

“What?” You ask, nearly inhaling your iced coffee from the cafeteria. “Excuse me?”

Liz puts her hands on her hips and stares you down across the nurses station. “He's staying with you isn't he?”

“I-I uh...”

“Oh please, just admit it. The man knows where your wine opener is, his boxers are in the bathroom and he has a razor in the sink cup. You're staying together.”

“It's not like that.”

She raises her eyebrows. “Really?”

“Really. He's just staying with me while I get acclimated to the new house.”

“Yeah, sure. You moved in like a month ago.”

You grab a patient clipboard and get up to go check on them since it's nearly noon. “Liz, please. The moment something is going on between me and Shawn, you'd be the first person I tell.”

“You better. That man is fine with a capital F, not to mention rich as hell and insanely talented. God, you'd be dating a rockstar.”

You roll your eyes. “He is still just Shawn. He's the same guy who puked spaghetti down my shirt in freshman year. Rockstar or not.”

“Gross.”

“Yeah. Now, I'm going to check on Marie and get her meds started for the afternoon. And you are going to....”

Liz huffs, crossing her arms and looking annoyed. “And I'm going to drop the subject of Shawn and you.”

“Thanks Liz,” you sing sing as you walk down the hall towards room 156 with a little wave.

_________________________

A few days pass and you and Shawn get even more comfortable with each other. Liz's words are really getting in your head though. What was this? Why didn't Shawn go home? You and Shawn were sleeping together, making each other breakfast, sharing laundry, doing everything a couple does. But you're not a couple. Are you?

You walk in the house and hear someone speaking to Shawn in the kitchen. Your first thought is that he has Brian over or maybe even his manager Andrew. You'd be surprised because he didn't seem to ever have anyone over, it wasn't his place after all.

“Yeah, so the bill will include the parts and labor. Just sign the bottom line and I can take a check or card.”

You round the corner and Shawn is standing there with a man in a blue uniform. The bag of tools on the counter says Manelle Repair. What on Earth was broken? You can't recall a problem with the sink or the oven or anything.

“Hey,” Shawn says softly, looking up from the bill of service. “The garbage disposal was broke.”

“A ring!” The repairman laughs. “Can you believe that?”

“Oh...wow,” you eye Shawn who looks guilty. “Wonder how that got there.”

“Dunno, could have been there when you moved in and just got lodged. No worries, I fixed the problem. Your husband here is just finishing up.”

You nearly choke on your own tongue. Husband. Shawn. Your husband. That was rich. “Oh he's not-”

“Yes I am paying for it.” Shawn interrupts loudly, cutting you off and handing the bill over to the repairman with his credit card. The man slides it on a device plugged into his phone. “I promised I would.”

You eye him, skeptical as to why he wouldn't let you correct the repairman's comment, but you remain silent. You follow the two men to the door and Shawn thanks the guy for coming out so soon before turning to you with the guiltiest smile you have ever seen.  

“Don't be mad, it's fixed. Don't worry.”

“You broke the garbage disposal.”

“And I paid for it. It's fine.”

You cross your arms. “Where's the ring?”

“It's gone.”

“Liar.  Shawn tell me where it is.”

Shawn reaches into his pocket and holds out the ring in his palm. It's practically unscathed from it's trip through the disposal. “I didn't want you fretting over it. I was just going to toss it when I went to the studio next. You've been doing so well lately, I didn't want you to have a reminder again.”

“It's mine. I'll get rid of it.” You go to take it off his hand and he curls his fingers into yours. “Shawn...please.”

“Can we get rid of it right now?”

“How?”

“We can go to the park on Leavenworth street. Remember the one we used to go to after school and hang out?”

“Where I lost my shoe in the lake. Yeah...yeah! I can throw it in the lake!”

Shawn releases your hand and you take the ring. “I'll drive?”

“Let's go.”

Almost half an hour later and you're back in your hometown. It's like nothing has changed since you left. Granted it's been just a few years, the place brought back a sense of nostalgia. You remember riding bikes to each other's houses and to the park after school because neither of you had a car. Sneaking out to go to Shawn's house on weeknights to get away from your parents for just a little while. Walking to the donut shop for dollar a dozen donut holes on Wednesdays. It felt so good to be home.

The park looks the same too. The old merry-go-round is just as worn and faded in color as you remember. The swings are still there, the rocking dinosaur with the goofy face. Really the only difference is that the slide is gone, probably rusted apart finally. You and Shawn walk toward the edge of the small man made lake where the ducks lived. It's quiet, just after five in the evening. There isn't any kids out playing but then again there wasn't a lot of kids around any more. The sun is going down slowly, a burning ball of orange light dipping over the horizon. It's beautiful. Like reliving a moment from your childhood.

Shawn bumps his hand against yours. You ignore it the first time, thinking it's an accident. He does it again and you let him slide his rough calloused fingers between yours. His hand feels so big compared to yours, and so incredibly warm.  

“Can I ask you something?”

You look up at him as the two of you approach the retaining wall along the water's edge. “Of course. What's up?”

“Do you think we would make a good couple?”

“What do you mean?”

“I talked to Brian the other day, after the party. He said he thought we were together and it got me thinking. Maybe the one I've been searching for my whole life has been right under my nose.”

“Liz said the same thing after the party. She noticed you had been staying, your stuff was around the house.”

“Andrew has been up my ass about not staying at the apartment. I've been telling him that I've been going back home to my parents. He's going to catch on. I should probably go home soon huh? You've gotten used to the house by now.”

You squeeze his hand in yours. “I've gotten used to the company too, and yes, I think we would make a good couple. Y'know I was thinking... I don't use the basement, and it's soundproof from the last owners using it as a theater room.”

“Uh huh?”

“If you wanted to record down there, like put some equipment in and a booth. I think it would be a good idea.”

Shawn takes a seat on the retaining wall and you do to, sitting close enough your thighs are you snug side by side. “You realize I'd never leave your house if I did that.”

You shrug. “I don't care. It would get Andrew off your back, and give me company. Besides, I love when you are in your element. There's something incredibly attractive about watching you make music. It's truly an experience.”

He presses his lips to your temple in a tender kiss and leans his head against yours. “We’ll see.”

You fish the ring out of your pocket and turn it over in your fingers, the setting sun glinting off it's embedded jewels. They probably aren't even real now that you think about it. Evan didn't have any money, let alone any to spend on something this beautiful. He probably paid twenty dollars online for this thing. Son of a bitch.

“I guess we should get rid of this.”

“It's all you.”

You pull your arm back and send the ring sailing out over the water. It lands with a little plop several feet away. There was no getting it back now. No repairman to pull it out of the trash. No pawn shop to resell it so you might possibly see it again one day on someone's finger. No. It was gone. Non existent as your relationship with Evan. Good riddance.

“How’s it feel?”

“Good. Liberating.” You smile, looking over at him and he looks so warm in the evening glow. Breathtaking really.

He tilts your chin up with his fingers and leans in. Just like that he's kissing you. Suddenly you're sixteen again and you're standing outside of the English hall at school. Your locker is behind you, cold against your back. There are kids everywhere waiting for class to start. Shawn's there, leaning against the lockers with one arm, telling you that he needs help in Math if you're free. The next thing you know he's bumped against you, catching himself with his arm against the lockers, caging you in as his lips crash against yours. It's an accident, obviously, but he lingers and so do you. Just like that your first kiss was stolen from you, but at least it was by the one person who deserved it.

“You okay?” Shawn asks lowly, eyes locked into yours.

You realize that you've just been sitting there like a statue while replaying the past in your head. “Do it again.”

He chuckles and leans back in, soft lips on yours. His hand finds your hair, guiding your mouth against his as he deepens the kiss. It's a gentle exchange and one you're much more present for this time around. He pulls back with smile and your lips are a little damp. It's been forever since you've been properly kissed.

“I've wanted to do that for so long.”

“I think I've wanted that for even longer.”

_________________________

You're pretty sure you're in hell after that kiss with Shawn. The next day the two of you were woken up to his phone ringing off the nightstand. Quite literally vibrating on to the floor and crashing, scaring the crap out of both of you. It was Andrew, his manager. Apparently you weren't as alone as you thought at the park.

Shawn lies through his teeth in the sleepiest voice ever as he gets berated for not being home, lying about where he's been going, and not telling Andrew about you. Shawn tries his hardest to protect you, to say you were a friend that it was a spur of the moment kiss. That he has been at his parents. He's desperately trying to get you out of the mix.

Half an hour later and you're laying in bed alone. Shawn had gotten up and got dressed while still on the phone with Andrew. He needed to leave asap to get to his apartment before Andrew showed up and called him on his lies. You roll over, his side of the bed smells like his cologne and shampoo. You breathe deep, heart full of love as you crave his touch.

Your front door bell rings, snapping you out of your sleepy fantasies. You get up and make your way down there, wondering who would be stopping by on a Thursday morning. You open the door and find your sister standing there with a suitcase.

“Jennifer? What are you doing here?”

“I'm home for a few days and I wanted to come see you!” She pulls the screen door open and puts her arms around you. “I have a few days before I go to Alaska and I figured I'd come see my baby sister in her new house.”

You wrap your arm around her and return the hug. “You're going to Alaska next? Why?”

“Work. I guess they need a good IT tech up there at the air base.” Jen hauls her bag in past you and pushes it against the stairwell bannister. “So, how's the house?”

“It's great. A little empty, but it's all mine.” You shut the door and wonder how the hell you were going to explain Shawn to her. Of course he wasn't there now, but he would be back. You could always tell him not to come home but he would probably need his guitar and...his wallet...that's sitting on your island counter.

Jennifer walks around the living room. “It's very much your style. I love it. Is the couch comfortable?”

“Yeah. Why?”

“Oh...well...I was hoping I could crash here tonight before going to mom and dad's place. They're out of town until tomorrow for that car show they go to every year.”

Of course she wanted to stay over. Nothing could be easy in your life, could it? If Shawn wasn't going to be coming back you wouldn't be so worried, but the thing is he was going to have to. And when he did Jennifer would see him and start asking questions. Questions that would lead to her running her big mouth. You love your sister to death, you do, but this was one thing you'd like to tell her on your own terms.

“I'm not sure I'm ready for visitors yet.”

“You just had a housewarming party?”

“Yeah...but they didn't stay over. I'm still getting used to the place and being alo-”

The front door opens and Shawn walks in, freezing when he sees your sister standing opposite you. He looks to Jennifer, then to you, and back to Jennifer. “Hello?”

“What's going on here?” Jennifer laughs, pointing between the two of you.

“I left my wallet?”

“At nine in the morning?” Jennifer looks at her watch and shakes her head. “You have got to be kidding me. You've been hooking up with Shawn?!”

You feel you self deflate. So much for hiding it now. So much for your own terms. “Jen, I need you to chill out. We are not hooking up. He just came over and helped me move some stuff last night.”

“Uh huh.”

Shawn crosses the living room and goes to the attached kitchen to grab his wallet. “I'll call you later,” he chuckles nervously as he heads back for the door.

“Yeah, thanks.” You wave and he ducks out, leaving you with Jennifer once again. She looks less than sold on your lie and you know she's going to harass you into giving her all the details.

_________________________

Around two in the morning Shawn comes back. You only know this because he makes a racket taking his shoe off in the corner. You sit up, alarmed as you turn on the bedside lamp. Before you is a half dressed Shawn, holding your necklace stand and looking guilty.

“I'm sorry,” he whispers as he sets your stand down and picks up a few other things he knocked off. “I tripped on your heels.”

“What are you doing here?” You seethe, and he crawls into the bed. “I told you not to come back tonight.”

Shawn flops down beside you, arm going to your waist. “I couldn't sleep at the apartment. I figured if I snuck in then it'd be fine. I'll just sneak out in the morning.”

You groan. “Shawn.”

He leans over and cups your face, turning your face towards him. “Please don't be mad at me.”

You stare at his puppy dog eyes, so brown and golden and you can't be mad. Not over this. You touch his jaw and kiss his nose. “You better not get caught by Jen. It took everything in me today to convince her there was nothing going on between us.”

“But isn't there something going on? I know we haven't discussed it or anything...but y'know.”

“Not now. It's almost four in the morning, go to sleep.”

Shawn leans in and kisses your forehead, humming in agreement. He snuggles against you, tucking you into his chest and holding you tight. You never want to sleep without him again, and you might not have to.

_________________________

Shawn is gone in the morning. It's just after seven when you wake up to the empty bed. He only had a few hours sleep, so you aren't sure how he was functioning but he obviously managed to get out of the house. You roll over and rub your hand over the imprint he's left in the bed. Sheets wrinkled and pillows divited, remains of the soft giant who laid there cuddling you through the night. It's still a little warm, you assume he must have left fairly recently. He had even folded the blanket back over how you liked, preserving the heat from his body under the covers for you.

The smell of bacon gets your sense going, bringing you to full alertness. Funny. You don't remember buying bacon this last week. You get up, feet hitting the cold wood floor as you search for your slippers and make your way downstairs to find out who had bacon.

The moment you round the staircase you see Jen in the kitchen, moving back and forth from the counter to the island, cooking up a breakfast you are sure would be too much for the two of you. She always loved to cook, and she was very good at it. Who ever she settled down with one day would be a very lucky person.

“Morning,” Jen cheers from the stove as you walk in and grab a cup of coffee. “Wanna talk to you.”

A cold chill of dread runs throughout your body as your fingers close around the hand of the coffee pot. You don't want to talk to her anymore, not about anything that wasn't her life or yours not involving Shawn. Her grilling of you last night was enough to break a hardened criminal. Thankfully she finally relented a while after dinner and you were able to get sleep in peace. Besides, you had to work at nine, you didn't have time to do much besides eat, shower and get ready.

“Can we talk later? I have to get ready for work.”

“You have time to eat.” Jen turns and dumps an omelette onto a plate with some canned corned beef hash you had in the cupboard. That made sense of the bacon like smell. You were saving that can, it was one of those weird things you liked on occasion. She pushes the plate toward you insistently.  “I'll do most of the talking anyway.”

“Fine.” You take a seat and start eating while nursing your hot coffee. “What is it?”

“Does Evan have keys to the house?”

“What?”

“Does Evan have keys?”

“God no. I signed on the house, it's my place. He never got a key. Why?”

Jen cracks a few eggs into the skillet she's working with and dumps some vegetables from a cutting board into it as well. “I thought I heard someone come in last night. I was on the couch, so obviously my back was to the door and everything. But I swear I wasn't dreaming.”

She had heard Shawn. Christ could he have been any louder? Real subtle Mendes. Good job. “Well I'm the only one with keys. You must have been hearing things.”

“Are you absolutely sure?”

“Yes. He never even touched the keys to this house.” You finish off your eggs and dump the plate into the sink. “You're losing it sis. Almost thirty and you've already done lost your mind.”

Jen hip checks you and you laugh. “That's not nice. You'll be my age before you know it. Now go get ready for work. I'm gonna make you some food to keep in the freezer.”

“You don't have to do that. I can cook.”

“Yeah but you're a nurse, I know when you get home you're exhausted. Go. Let me do something nice for you.”

You roll your eyes and head to your room to get ready. Somehow the idea of leaving Jen alone in your house all day was uneasy. You know Shawn's stuff is all over, hell, Liz noticed his boxers in the bathroom and his razor at the housewarming party. There was no way there wasn't evidence of Shawn everywhere. You can't worry about that now, you have to get to work.

_________________________

Shockingly Jen seems to leave the subject of you and Shawn alone. When you get home, an hour late because of an emergency on your floor, you walk in and collapse onto the couch. Jen offers you dinner, saying how your parents were back in town and she was going to go see them before she headed out of state again. Things are normal. Either she's found out Shawn is there semi regularly and she is leaving you to your privacy. Or she hasn't found any evidence, unlikely as it may be, and she is convinced of your lies that he was just helping you out a few times. Whatever it is, you're grateful and see her off at her car with a tired smile, a hug, and best wishes in Alaska.

Shawn comes back that night, after you texted him the all clear, and lets himself in to find you on the couch in your pajamas a little after ten.

“You look cozy,” he smiles, stripping off his denim jacket and boots by the armchair adjacent to the couch.

“I'm exhausted. It was a very long day at work.”

“Yeah? I know you can't tell me much, but what happened?” He peels his shirt off to reveal a black tank top beneath it. You can't help but let your eyes wander over the expanse of his shoulders and chest, down to his slim waist. He is truly beautiful.

“There was an emergency medical evac for a kid on my floor.”

Shawn unbuckles his belt and slides it out of his jeans, tossing it by his jacket and shirt. You can't help the smile that turns up the corners of your mouth. “What?” He smirks playfully, tugging his tank top out of his jeans.

“I didn't know I was going to be treated to a strip tease tonight.”

He actually flushes. The dork. Twenty five and he still flushed like a teenager. Lord he was cute in the hottest most down to earth way.

“Is that what you want? A strip tease from me?” He saunters over, fingers tugging playfully at the button of his jeans. “I'll give you one if you like.”

“Shawn!” You laugh, kicking his thigh gently, shoving him back into the the armchair.

He lands with a little oomph before sprawling out, legs open, arms up behind his head. It reminds you of when he did the shoots for Lumio Vogue when he was nineteen. He's such a little shit.

“Maybe this is better,” he tugs his tank top up, showing off his lower stomach while rubbing a hand across his chest. “Is this doing it for you?”

You laugh, absolutely baulk at the man before you. “You're ridiculous! Quit posing and come watch my show with me.”

“Ahh, but baby don't you want me?” He says in the most outrageously horrible “I'm sexy and I know it” voice.

You roll your eyes and he drops the schtick, standing up and pushing his jeans down to kick them aside and join you on the couch. He flops down beside you, putting his feet up on the foot rest and tucking one between yours. He wraps an arm around you and leans his head on yours.

“What are we watching?”

“Kids baking championship.”

“Sounds good to me.” With that he pulls the blanket off the back of the couch and throws it over your laps. You snuggle against him and hit unmute as the show returns from commercial. You could get used to this.

_________________________

A week passes and you're so incredibly happy with Shawn. The two of you talk over coffee every morning, exchange “have a good day” kisses and just live domestically. You haven't discussed what you are. Neither of you want to bring it up and you almost wonder if it's fear of ruining whatever this is. As if giving it a label would shatter the illusion of a normal life together.

Shawn even started making plans for the basement, deciding to take you up on the offer to turn it into a a studio. He wants to get it all set up before telling Andrew about the place. Of course Andrew would have questions about your relationship, and maybe by then you would have a solid answer. You think maybe the studio would seal the deal for you two. Give you that push you needed.

It's Saturday night and you're fast asleep, having worked an early morning shift for Liz, you turned in early. Shawn didn't mind, he could sleep any time it seemed. The sound of pounding from somewhere below in the house wakes you up. It sounds like someone slamming a fist against your front door.

Shawn sits up and looks around, confused as you are by the sound. “What is that? Did we put on laundry before bed?”

“No. I did everything yesterday. That sounds like someone at the front door.” You pull the blankets back and walk around to the bedroom door to investigate.

Shawn stops you, a hand on your arm as he steps in front of you. “Let me check it out.”

“No! What if you get hurt?”

He cups your face and rubs his thumbs over your cheeks tenderly. “And what if you get hurt?”

“It's my h-”

The sound of the front door being kicked in startles you, making you yelp, eyes going to the closed door beside you. Someone was breaking into your house and you are pretty sure you're going to puke.

“Call the cops.” Shawn grabs his phone since it's on the dresser close by and hands it to you. “Stay as quiet as you can.”

You fumble with the phone, typing in his passcode wrong the first time. He opens the door and slips out, closing it quietly behind him much to your dismay. You open it back up enough to peek out, phone to your ear as it rings.

Shawn inches down the hall along the wall opposite to the top of the stairs. You can't believe he's being so stupid. What if the intruder was armed? What the hell was Shawn going to do?

The operator answers the phone and you give her your address and tell her you're pretty sure someone has broken into your home. She asks you to remain calm but your hands are sweating and you feel like you can't breathe.

Footsteps on the stairs makes your stomach drop. You go silent as the operator keeps asking questions, repeating herself over and over until you let out a little “uh huh” when she asks if you're still there. From your position you can see just past the top of the stairs as the intruder reaches the landing of the second floor.

The moment Shawn sees someone appear he swings, fist colliding with the side of the intruder's head and knocking him to the floor with a loud thump and groan. In a moment Shawn is on top of him, clearly larger as he twists the guys arms behind his back. The intruder doesn't fight back, you assume because he's been hit so hard he is reeling.

“Get my belt!”

You drop the phone on the dresser and grab Shawn's belt off the the laundry hamper, hurrying over and he ties up the guys hands, still sitting on his back. You flip the switch for the hall light and before you is a face you hoped to never seen again.

“Evan?! What the fuck?!”  The sound of sirens in the distance lets you know that help is on the way and you remember the phone on the dresser with the operator on the line still. Didn't matter. Help was coming anyway. “What are you doing here?”

“I want my ring back. I bought that, not you!” He's slurring his words and the closer you get you realize he reeks of alcohol. Big surprise. He probably wouldn't have the gall to break into your house sober.

“So you break into your ex's house? Why not try calling next time?” Shawn growls, tightening the belt around Evan's wrists as he lets out a groan of pain.

“Who the fuck are you?” He twists himself under Shawn enough to get a look at his face. “Oh for fucks sake. Really?”

“What? I'm not allowed to have a relationship after you?”

Evan scoffs. “No, now I know why you ditched me. How can I compare to a rockstar? Bet you were screwing him behind my back the whole time.”

“The only screwing going on in our relationship was you screwing me out of my money.”  You could just kick him square in the mouth. The fact that he had the audacity to try and pin the ending of your relationship on you was just something else.

“Fuck you! Give me my fucking ring!”

“It's gone pal.” Shawn hauls Evan up, one hand on his bound wrists the other in his hair. “We threw it in a lake.”

“You bitch!”

“Toronto Police!”

“Up stairs!” Shawn yells and three officers appear, guns drawn as they make their way up the stairs. The cops take over for Shawn, properly cuffing Evans hands so Shawn can step back and put his arm around you.

“Cheating little bitch, I want that fucking ring I know you didn't throw it in a lake!”

“Do you know this man?” One officer asks as the other jerks Evan toward the top of the stairs.

You explain the situation briefly as the officer takes Evan down the stairs and out the front door. The two of you follow the other cops downstairs and give your statements. The front door frame is splintered from being kicked in and you groan, knowing that would be couple bills to repair. You and Shawn thank the officers and start cleaning up the mess Evan made. The door closes fine but won't stay locked by any means. The two of you decide to shove the armchair against it and go back to bed, not that you would be getting much sleep anyway. 

Morning comes with a whole new shit storm. As if Evan's drunk breaking in entry wasn't enough, some pap must have been camping outside your house and took photos of the whole thing. At just after six in the morning Shawn was showing you headline on a celebrity news site. “Shawn Mendes home broken in to” “Shawn Mendes and mystery girl's wild night, it's not what you'd expect”. You assume the pap followed Shawn home from his apartment or the recording studio in light of rumors he was seeing someone after the kiss at the park a few weeks ago. You just can't deal with that and you go back to sleep, exhausted and not ready to face the world on two hours of sleep.

Within an hour of seeing those headlines, you're   waking up again because Shawn is in the living room with Andrew and Jake, his head of security, and there is an awful lot of yelling. You head down with caution, hearing Shawn's raised voice reverberating throughout the house makes your stomach flop.

“What is the problem with me trying to live a normal fucking life Andrew? I'm twenty five! Besides, she didn't sign up for this shit! Why should I have to drag her into any of it?!”

“Shawn you're famous. You've been famous since you were sixteen years old, I thought you would have sorted this out by now. Jake and I need to know what is going on in your life to keep you safe, this is a major breach in security.”

Shawn opens his mouth to say something in retaliation when he spots you standing on the last step gripping the banister post. “Shit, we woke you up didn't we?”

“What's going on?”

Andrew turns to you and sighs heavily. He thought his life was rough, what a joke. “Shawn has been staying here and not informing myself or Jake of his whereabouts, which is a major safety concern.”

Shawn walks over and puts his arms around you, kissing your cheek. “I'll deal with this. You can go back to bed,” he whispers softly.

“You're serious about her?” Jake asks and Shawn looks over at him. “Don't you want to keep her safe?”

“Of course I do.” Shawn hugs you against his chest and you lay your cheek against him. “And yes, I'm very serious about her.”

“Shawn, Jake and I don't want to take away your privacy. We just want to make sure you are safe, both of you.”

You look up at Shawn and he just sighs. “He's right. We should see about getting an alarm system and stuff.”

“Are you going to be living here? How long has this been going on?” Jake asks Shawn.

Andrew sighs heavily. “Months, I can tell you that. I just haven't been able to find out where he's been going.”

“Listen guys, I'd really like to stay here. We're setting up a recording studio in the basement. I'm thinking about getting rid of the apartment and I've already talked to my mom about helping put it back on the market.”

“I just don't understand why you've been hiding all of this from us. It's fine if you want to move or you're seeing someone. I know you want to live a normal life but you gotta let me know man.” Andrew looks around the living room. He shakes his head. “I'm glad you've found a place and someone to settle down with. I just want to make sure this place is safe and private for you. We've had our share of problems over the years with the apartment and I'd hate to have fan and stalkers show up here to your home. I need you in one primary location. Either here or your apartment.”

“Here. I am staying here.” Shawn leans back to look down at you. “If that's okay with you?”

“Why wouldn't it be? I don't know what I'd do without you here.”

“Good.” He leans down and kisses your lips quickly.

“It's settled then. Jake will be out with a team to set up a security system and check out the community security.” Andrew heads for the door. “I'll see you later Shawn. Don't forget the phone interview with GQ tonight.” Jake follows Andrew out and the two of you are left alone.

Shawn puts his arms around you, walking you back against the stairs. “Y'know, you've stolen my whole heart and I don't want to ever leave.” He reaches up and twirls a piece of your hair around. “I know we haven't talked about it entirely...but I love you. I love you so much and I have wanted to say it since the day I kissed you for the first time.”

Your heart clenches and you feel like you can't breathe. How dare he say the first I love you and seal the deal on whatever this was out of the blue like this. But it was time. The two of you were basically married from the first day he slept on your couch, and you couldn't deny that you felt the same way after the kiss when you were sixteen. There was absolutely no denying it, you've been in love with him forever.

“I love you too. I think I always have. Maybe I was never meant to marry Evan, because I was supposed to be with you.”

“Fate is a funny thing. But we're here now,” he smiles big and leans his forehead on yours. “And I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“I never want to stop saying it.”

“Then don't.”

He leans in and kisses you softly. “I” he kisses you again, “love” another kiss, “you.”

You can't help the giggle that bubbles out of you and you wrap your arms around his neck, just smiling back at him with your heads together. Things worked out sometimes, whether it be fate, luck or something far greater, you don't care. Shawn was yours and you were his.

The end.

_________________________

Major Shoutout to @shawnm521 without the two of us bouncing ideas around one day, this probably never would have existed.

Thank you so much for reading! You're all amazing and I appreciate every ounce of support I receive on my writing. Please reblog and share this fic if you enjoyed it. Please let me know what you think as well, I absolutely live to read your comments, reaction gifs, asks and messages.

Thank you so much to everyone who reads my work. ❤️❤️❤️

[stanbillyhargrove]

Closer

Based off the song Closer by the Chainsmokers

"Hey, you know, I was fine before you. Perfectly fine," Billy slurred, voice catching on his message. "I'm fine without you. Have been, will be. Don't need you anyway."

Billy had been drunk for a week after Steph left. Packed up her bags and said she was leaving, leaving Hawkins behind, leaving him behind, for something better, bigger, brighter. More fitting to her wild personality, somewhere nobody knew her. She'd offered once for Billy to come with her, once, but he couldn't. Not yet, he'd said, begged her to wait for him, pleaded for a little more time. He still wanted to go back to California, had to go back. But she couldn't, wouldn't wait for him, had to go right away, in the dead of night when nobody would realize. Billy had left drunk messages on her cell all week, some angry, some pleading but all slurring, tripping over his words.

Drunk calls turned into drunk texts. I miss you, I can't believe you left without me. I hate you and I don't know how you could do that to me, like I meant nothing. Did I mean nothing? Did we mean nothing?

"Why'd you come into my life anyway? Just to fuck me up some more? Cause it didn't work, I'm fine. I'm always fine, peachy fucking keen."

Drunk texts became less frequent, became depressed middle of the night texts and even those dwindled. Those became weekly and then monthly check ins. Steph only answered occasionally, when the depression and the loneliness was threatening to eat her alive. She'd answer you're drunk and go to sleep. Didn't give him too much, only told him she lived in New York now, had met some people. Never called him, never answered when he tried to call.

"Hey, how's your car? That thing always was a piece of shit, hope it's not giving you too much trouble."

And it's been four years now and the texts are only on special occasions. Happy birthday, I still think about you and Happy Halloween, I know that was your favorite, do you remember being huddled up on the couch watching horror movies all night? God, I miss you and I'm thinking about coming out to New York, if you want to get together.

"I'm coming to New York, gunna drive across the country again. Don't know if I'll actually run into you or not, but uh.. hit me up."

Steph worked in a hotel bar now, one of hundreds in the city, didn't think Billy would have any luck finding her if he came. She didn't answer him, hoped her silence would steer him away. Hoped that his image of her wouldn't fade by seeing that nothing had gone her way since leaving. She'd been homeless for a while, jumping couch to couch of coworkers until finding an ad for a roommate. Her car had died after a year out here, left her stranded on the side of the road in the middle of the night. Oh how she wished she had Billy with her then, with his knowledge of vehicles and his protective nature. Instead, she'd hunkered down in the backseat, doors locked and waited until the sun came up to call for help.

After two years she had a second hand Range Rover that she hadn't been able to afford, had scraped by for weeks, getting rides to and from work with coworkers and living off instant ramen to put together just enough cash. Steph had kept a mattress one of her roommates had left behind, traded it with the one she'd found online, at least it was a bit more comfortable.

Steph strode into work with a withering sigh, adjusting her too small skirt and too low shirt. Everything here was too much. Too small, too big, too grabby, too lonely. She missed her friends, real friends, not one night friends. With raised eyebrows and a twisted stomach she took stock of the man sitting alone in the corner of the bar. Remembered a boy that she had left behind, a boy who called her drunk at two in the morning to yell about how much he hated her. He had grown up a lot since then, dirty blonde hair shorter now, cut close to his face. Golden muscles popped, strained against his skin like it was too tight. There was a softness though, like he had finally come to peace with his life, had accepted and moved beyond his past, healed. His face was relaxed, easy as he sipped on a coffee. Eyes no longer burning with rage.

"Billy," she whispered, soft and unbelieving.

He turned, blue eyes bright against the dim light of the bar, "Princess," his breath hitched in his throat.

Billy moved to stand up, was stopped by Steph's raised hand.

"I can't, not while I'm working."

Those bright blue eyes flicked down to the table, sad, "right," a beat of silence before he looked back up at her, "you look good, as good as the day we met, Steph. A little different but still my Steph."

She placed a small hand on his shoulder, felt the muscles jump when she gave it a squeeze, "you look good too, Billy. Really good. I'm off at ten. If you want to catch up after."

Billy's face cracked with a smile, "I can wait."

--

"How have you been?"

"Fuck, Steph. I've..well I've been okay," he sighed, "moved. Got the fuck away from Neil."

She smiled at him, took a drag off her cigarette, "that's really good, Billy. Where'd you run off to?"

"I floated for a while, drove across the country. Ended in California."

Steph nodded, "knew it. You were always going back."

There was a moment of silence while they puffed their cigarettes.

"I forget why I left you. I was insane, stupid, too eager to leave. I should have waited."

"It wasn't stupid, Princess. I think we needed it, needed to grow a little."

"I broke your heart," her eyes got dewy as she chewed her lip.

"Yeah, you did," he smirked, "but that's okay. It was good for me, figured out who I am, what I want outta life."

"Oh yeah? And who are you?" Steph dropped the butt of her cigarette and stepped closer to him, "what do you want?"

Billy smirked, tongue darting out to wet his lips and ducked his head down, close, so close to hers, "I want you."

--

Billy was close, so fucking close to Steph's face, had captured her between his warm chest and the back seat of her Rover. And it's been years, four fucking years since she's felt heat like what rolled off his body and they're together, in the back of her stupid expensive Rover. The stupid expensive Rover that she had to get because she left Billy behind and her old car had left her stranded and she'd spent the night wishing, wishing that she could have him with her and now here he was. He had crossed the fucking country to look in every bar, wishing to catch a glimpse of her. And he was different now, an easy calm had taken over where he used to feel nothing but rage and he had more tattoos, had collected them as he crossed the country. He could map out his journey with his skin, the journey it took to find himself so that he could could turn around to find her.

And Steph was different too, was comfortable and resigned in her loneliness. Had a tattoo on her shoulder, orange poppies for California and tiny blue forget me nots. Because even though she had left Billy behind she had never forgotten him, would never forget him even though sometimes she wished she could. Wished that she could forget the way those bright blue eyes shone in the dark, the way they looked framed by thick dark lashes. But she was lonely and grown up now and had realized she would never forget the warmth that radiated off his skin like he had captured the sun in his veins.

"God, I fucking missed you," Billy groaned into her neck.

Steph fisted her hand in his hair, pulled him as close as she could, not close enough, "I missed you, Billy, fuck, I missed you."

Her eyes were dewy again with tears threatening to spill and her breath hitched in her chest as she tried not to sob. Billy leaned back to look at her, his blue eyes just as misty as hers.

"Steph, Princess.."

Her tears fell down her cheeks, "I n-never stopped..thinking about you. I figured you would hate me after I left and thought it was best if I let you move on. Then I was scared, so fucking scared to reach out to you...I'm sorry I was so stupid."

Billy pulled her with him as he rolled to lay across the back seat, letting Steph clutch his jacket as she sobbed. His hand trailed through her hair, a few tears spilling down his cheeks as well. So they held each other, clutched each other desperately like they could stop themselves from falling apart if the just held on hard enough.

"Sshh, Baby, it's okay," he cooed, "it's okay, I don't hate you. I was just angry, I could never hate you."

Steph's sobs racked her body, making her begin to hyperventilate. Cause she left with nothing but her shitty car and it was the biggest mistake of her life that she wore on her shoulder.

"Steph, please, you need to calm down," Billy pulled her into him with all his might, wrapped his legs around her too just so he could squeeze tighter.

--

"Billy," Steph cried.

They had made it back to her shitty apartment after she calmed down, Billy in his old Camaro that he loved so much and her leading the way in her Rover. Had torn each others clothes off in a fit of desperation once they had barely made it in the door.

Billy groaned into her neck, slowly pumping his hips into her as they rode out their orgasms. With a content sigh he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her down to bury his nose in her hair. Steph hummed, a small smile on her face as she breathed in the scent of sweat, cologne and cigarettes before reality came crashing down on her.

"When do you go back?" She whispered into his shoulder.

Billy sighed again, long and withering this time, "in a couple days."

Steph felt tears prick her eyes again and her throat started closing up while she untangled herself from Billy and sat up on the edge of the bed. Billy sat up behind her and laid his face on her shoulder.

"Talk to me, Princess," he whispered, pressing light kisses on her skin.

"Billy, fuck, this was a mistake."

"What was?"

"Us. This. We're just going to be apart again.."

He was quiet for a moment, "well what if we weren't?"

"What?"

"I don't want to be left behind again, Steph. If you want to stay here and you ask me to move here with you I will. Or you could come back to California with me. Just pack up our vehicles and we could leave."

Steph sniffed and looked at him with hopeful eyes, "are you sure?"

"Steph, I know you got all my messages. I never stopped thinking about you for four fucking years," he ran his hand across the tattoo on her shoulder, "I know you were thinking about me too."

A small smile stretched across her face, "y'know, I fucking hate New York."

[bgn846]

The Niflheim Experiment Chapter 2

Hushed voices sounded in his ears as Gladio struggled to understand his current surroundings.

“He needs to eat; magic can only do so much.” Luna announced kindly.

“That’s all well and good, but he’s been out like a light since that bath.   We’ve all tried to wake him up, it’s just not happening.” Aranea defended.

“M’wake,” Gladio managed as he opened his eyes.  It was the mention of food that really roused him.  It brought the realization of what the slight pain in his stomach might be.  Hunger.  When his eyes focused, he came face to face with Luna and Aranea.  They were hovering over him and looked worried.  Gladio squirmed slightly at the attention.  “Hi,” was all he could think to say.

Luna smiled, and sat down on the edge of the bed he was lying in.  When did that happen?  Last thing he remembered was sitting in a tiny bath and crying over missing Ignis.  Gladio had no choice but to push aside his memories for the time being.  He knew he’d start to get upset all over again.

“Can you sit up?” Luna asked.

Gladio tried first before he answered.  No point in saying he could if it didn’t work.  Lifting his head off the pillow was all he could manage.   “Guess not,” he grumbled after he plonked his head back down.

“We’ll help you, don’t mope,” Aranea supplied as she rounded the bed and climbed on.  “Peanut and Ravus are being such butts already.”

Caught off guard by the use of the word peanut, Gladio tried to figure out what she was talking about.  “Uh -- peanut?”   

“Yeah, Loqi. The little blond kid that thinks he’s the astrals gift to man.”

“Oh, but why peanut?”

Aranea sighed loudly. “He comes up to your armpit Gladio so he’s small like a peanut.”

Luna’s laughter filled the room a second later, and Gladio couldn’t help but smile at the sight.  She was blushing and trying mightily to hide it.   “You don’t call him that to his face do you?” he asked quickly.

“Nah, he’d probably try and stab me or something, but I don’t think he could reach my heart anyway.”  Aranea deadpanned.

Again, Luna laughed and let a snort lose as she turned away completely to hide her face.  It was impossible not to join in while Luna sat and laughed so hard she cried.   Gladio lost his composure a few seconds later and barked out a laugh. It felt good to let go and relax, he needed this moment of normalcy more than he realized.

Once Luna had recovered her wits she helped Aranea pull him up.  Pillows were soon stuffed behind his back, and the moment Gladio had been waiting for arrived.   Food!

Gladio didn’t care about the silly, yummy noises he was making while he ate. His body was clearly craving sustenance.  It also took him far too long, to pick up on the fact that he was wearing fresh clothes.  Apparently, being warm and cozy for the first time since his capture distracted Gladio.   Not that he minded.  “Who had to drag me outta the tub?” he asked after a moment.

“Loqi and Ravus took care of that, along with getting you changed.”

Luna rolled her eyes at the comment and huffed lightly.  Gladio became immediately concerned that he’d said something bad in his exhausted state.  “Did I do anything --.”

Aranea cut him off before he could finish. “Nah, it’s all good.  Ravus didn’t want his sister to see your manhood.”

“What about you?!” Gladio spit out with wide eyes.

“I was also banned from the bathroom.  Your dignity is still intact.”

Gladio couldn’t really think of what to say in response.  He was grateful they hadn’t all seen him passed out and naked.  Especially Luna.  Though, he didn’t mind Aranea helping.  She was the only one who knew about Ignis and it made a difference for some reason.  “Where’d the clothes come from?” Gladio asked finally.

“I was out shopping earlier.  So you can thank me later for making you look good.”

Smiling Gladio huffed out a small breath out.  “Duly noted.  Uh – where are peanut and Ravus now?” Luna snickered quietly as Aranea responded.

“They were not happy with my purchases so they have gone out to find something else.  Good luck to them, this little outpost doesn’t have much.”

“You were able to talk Ravus out of wearing his armor?” Gladio asked incredulously.

“I did the deed,” announced Luna, “otherwise, he was going to wander around looking like a robot in all that metal he wears.”

“Any chance my old clothes survived?” He asked, since the image of Ravus shopping jogged his memory.

“I grabbed a bag of what should be your stuff before we left Niflheim.” Aranea replied with a shrug.  “I know I saw a pair of boots in there so that’ll help when we leave here.  Why? Is there anything special you’re worried about?” she asked seriously.

Shaking his head no, Gladio thought about what he had on him when he’d been captured.  He doubted his cell phone had survived.  His wallet was the only other thing of interest, and it only had cash and one credit card.  The idea that someone in Niflheim was grabbing a coffee with his stolen card made him laugh softly.  

“What’s so funny?” Luna queried.

“Just wondering if anyone stole my credit card.”

“Depends kiddo, was the limit very high?” Aranea quipped.  “Besides, I don’t think cards from ‘bank of Insomnia’ work in Niflheim.” She mused with a smirk.    

At the mention of Insomnia, Gladio’s mood dampened. “I wanna go home,” he sighed. “How long are we going to stay here?”

Luna instantly pouted and went to sit next to him at the head of the bed.   “We need to find transportation, and then we can leave.” She answered while patting his arm.

“What happened to the drop ship?”

“Someone’s brother made me leave it behind because it drew too much attention.” Aranea huffed.  “I’ve got a car lined up.  When the boys get back I’ll go get it.”

“Why can’t you go now?” Gladio asked confused.

Aranea sighed heavily and rolled her eyes.  “Ravus doesn’t want his sister to be alone with you.”

“I can’t even sit up on my own, what makes him think I’m gonna do anything?  Not that I would anyway!” He defended.

“Don’t you have a little sister?  Wouldn’t you act the same way?”

Gladio’s mind filled with memories of Iris, and his composure threatened to crack again.  Six, he missed his family.  Unable to answer the question without losing to his emotions, he simply nodded in response.  

“Don’t get all weepy on me!” Aranea sputtered quickly.  “I didn’t mean it in a bad way!”

Raising his hands, and bowing his head slightly, Gladio agreed.  “Okay, okay, I just miss everybody.  I don’t mean to sound so needy.”

“Considering what happened I think you are allowed.  We really are working to get to Lucis.  It’s not safe for us all our here anyway.” Aranea offered seriously.

“I still don’t understand what triggered this mass exodus.”

Humming thoughtfully, Aranea took a deep breath before continuing. “The emperor is crazy for starters.  The path he is taking Niflheim on will only spell disaster for the country.” Pausing she fidgeted with her shirt.   “We’d been planning to leave for months but your capture gave us the perfect opening.”

Gladio was still perplexed. “Why does having me with you make a difference?”

“Whether you like it or not, you’re our ticket into Lucis.  The son of the king’s shield should grant us all entry.  We are hoping that’ll be the case, otherwise we’re screwed.”

Blinking slowly Gladio tried to gather his thoughts.  He wasn’t sure what he’d heard was good news or bad.  They were merely using him as a tool to help get into Lucis.   “What does Lucis have that you need?”

“The crystal and a sane leader.”

“So, you all decided to break me out.  Just so you don’t get shot when you roll up to the city gates and then what?! Steal the crystal for yourselves?” Gladio angrily spit out.

“No! Gladio, you don’t understand what we mean to do.”  Aranea responded vehemently. “We want to join forces with Lucis and fight against Niflheim.”

“Why didn’t you break me out sooner?” He asked sadly.

“Oh hun, we tried believe me.” Aranea cooed.   “Versteal’s asshat scientists wouldn’t leave you alone, so we had to wait.”

Gladio felt sick thinking back to what he’d gone through.  His memories were fuzzy on what he’d endured, which was a small blessing.  The pain, Gladio could remember, and that made him shudder.  Suddenly, a feeling of utter exhaustion overtook his body.  Luna noticed first and began rubbing his shoulder.

“Gladio? Are you alright?”  She asked with concern.

No, he wasn’t alright, but Gladio didn’t know what to say.  It felt like he’d done nothing but whine since the rescue.  Opting to shake his head no Gladio focused on not having another breakdown.

“Come on, you’ve finished your food.  Why don’t you lie down again?” Tried Luna.

Honestly, he didn’t want to sleep.  Gladio had been passed out for most of his rescue, and he was tired of being confused.  However, the need for rest was too strong, and he could feel his eye lids closing.  Both women were by his side in an instant, pulling him forward to remove all the pillows stuffed behind his back.

Once he was fully horizontal Gladio’s body began to shut down. “I don’t wanna sleep,” he slurred, “I need help.”

Luna shushed him and began stroking his forehead.  “It’s okay, rest.  You’re safe.”

“No m’n not,” he whimpered, “m’just being used.”

“No, that’s not true! Don’t talk like that!” Luna exclaimed in a panic.  “Gladio – Gladio!  Please believe me!  Gla --.”

The rest of her words died away as he slipped into darkness.    

Fevered shouting filled the room, waking Gladio up with a start.  He must have cried out, because everyone was now looking at him.  Luna was crying and standing in such a way that indicated she was very angry.  Oh six, something really bad had happened after he’d passed out.  Maybe they’d realized their plan was shit, and they didn’t need him anymore.

Swallowing hard Gladio made to speak, but Ravus cut him off.  “It has come to my attention that you are feeling less than --.”

“Just let me go, I won’t say anything!” He blurted without thinking.

Ravus looked so surprised by this statement that he actually let his mouth drop open.  “Wha – that’s not – what?” He tried again.

“See!  I told you!  He thinks we are merely using him.” Luna defended in between sniffles.

“That is not our intention Luna! I’ve been over this with you already.” Ravus huffed.

“I believe you!” She shouted in return.  “It’s Gladio, you have to convince.”

Sighing heavily through his nose Ravus turned towards Gladio.  “As I was saying, it has been brought to my attention that you are upset regarding your current situation.”

“Ravus!” Luna interrupted, “will you please get to the point.”

The look Ravus leveled at his sister was so familiar to Gladio.  He’d experienced the same emotion before when arguing with his sister.        

Once more the stoic man directed his attention to Gladio and spoke. “We only have the best intentions for you, please trust us.”

Luna outright yelled after his comment.  “Why must you be so callous?”

“Enough!” Aranea bellowed.  “We are wasting time we don’t have!  You two, get out and get the car ready.  Loqi, you help me get Gladio up and outta bed.”

Gladio decided being quiet was a good idea and waited anxiously for more instructions.  Ravus had a mini staring contest with Aranea, but eventually gave up when Luna grabbed his arm and pushed him towards the door. When brother and sister were out of the room, Aranea flipped the bird at the door.

“That was for Ravus not Luna,” she added casually.

Nodding, but staying silent, Gladio tried his best to do what he was told.   Aranea seemed like she was at her wits end, and Loqi wasn’t far behind. Though, they were both being very careful with him.  Perhaps what Luna had told him earlier was true, maybe they did want to help.

It didn’t take long to get freshened up and ready to go.  Being unable to stand, made things tricky when they finally left the room.  Gladio had at least gotten some of his strength back, and could move his legs slightly.  The room was on ground level thankfully, which meant there were no stairs to contend with.

Though, nothing would have prepared him for the sight that greeted him when they rounded the corner of the building.  The world’s dumpiest looking sedan sat waiting for them.  It had so many dents in the body that it looked mottled on purpose.

“What is that?” He choked out.

Aranea piped up with distain, “Tweedle dee and tweedle dum bought the wrong damn car.”

“It’s so small,” Gladio wondered. “How are we all gonna fit?”

Before anyone could answer Luna called them over.  She had the back driver’s side door open and ready.  “I made a spot for you.”

His descent into the car wasn’t exactly graceful, but thank the six, he fit.  The driver’s seat in front of him had been pushed forward to allow room for his legs.  Luna it seemed was working hard to accommodate his needs.

Peering around at the dated upholstery and the general wear and tear, Gladio feared the car might not get them to Lucis.   Turning to ask Luna when they were leaving drew his attention to a rather heated discussion happening nearby.  Ravus and Loqi were arguing over something.   Leaning out of the car slightly Gladio finally heard a few words.  They were debating about who would drive.

“I’m driving and that’s final.” Ravus hissed.

“Listen up, grandpa, I already called dibs on driving earlier.”

“That means nothing, and calling me names due to my hair color is rather immature.”

“You’re old Ravus, it has nothing to do with your hair.” Loqi snapped.

Gladio looked on in disbelief as Ravus suddenly lunged at Loqi.  The little blond kid dove out of the way at the last minute, and turned kicking Ravus in the backside.  Things degraded severely after that move.  Ravus now fully vested in the fight, began working harder to take Loqi down.   Watching the two of them chase each other around the parking lot in street clothes was weird.

Luna kept trying to call out to her brother, but he wouldn’t listen.  Aranea had long since walked away.   Clearly she was fed up with their antics. Gladio wanted to help but he didn’t know what to do.  He wasn’t physically able to pull them apart.   Things seemed to be cooling off after a few minutes until Ravus mucked it all up again.

Gladio easily heard Ravus call Loqi, the empire’s dog, as they were walking back to the car.  In a flash Loqi had jumped on Ravus’ back and was pulling his hair.  The older man shouted but couldn’t shake Loqi.  The kid had a death grip and was very angry.

This was so childish, they needed to leave and this wasn’t helping.  The instinct to intervene won out over common sense and Gladio moved to get out of the car.  He promptly tumbled to the ground with his feet still stuck inside.  The fragile hold he had on his temper shattered in that instant.

Shouting at the top of his lungs he begged for them to stop.  “ENOUGH!  Stop acting like kids!” He tried.  “One of you assholes can ride in the trunk if you don’t want to play nice!”

The shock of his interruption caused Ravus to trip and stumble.  Loqi quickly disentangled himself and backed away.  The kid immediately ran over to him, giving Ravus a wide berth.  “Here let me help you up.” He offered quickly.

“Leave me be,” Gladio groaned, “Just call my dad and have him come pick me up.  I’m gonna be dead from shock before we ever get to Lucis.”

“We can’t call ahead big guy,” Loqi sighed.  “Your military has already been infiltrated by a traitor, and we can’t alert them to our plans.”

That statement caught Gladio’s attention right away.  “We have to warn the king!”  He exclaimed while attempting to right himself.  It didn’t work and he collapsed a second time.  “Fuck this shit!” He bellowed while slamming his fist into the dirt.

Luna’s soft voice filtered through the air a moment later.  “We need to leave right away.  I was not aware of this development.”

Crunching gravel announced Aranea’s return. “Did one of you shitheads hurt Gladio?!”  she asked quickly.  Not waiting for answer she began giving orders.  “Loqi you’re driving since your short and the seat is pushed forward for Gladio’s long legs.”

“Want me to help Gladio first?”

Loqi did indeed help him back into the seat.  The kid seemed genuinely sorry for causing such trouble.  He made sure Gladio had enough space for his legs and began adjusting his seat to drive.  Ravus had since wandered back over, and slipped into the front passenger seat without a word.   Luna gracefully climbed into the backseat and scooted up so close to Gladio he could feel her heart pounding.  Ravus had the nerve to turn and scowl at her but she simply crossed her arms and ignored him.   Aranea managed to fit in the space that was left next to Luna.  With one final adjustment of mirrors, and confirmation of the direction to drive, Loqi set the car in gear, and turned onto the main road.

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[dngrdyke]

Home Renovation With the Homosexuals

TW: gore

Monday.

Dyke and Faggot rode for hours until they found what they were looking for. Dyke had seen it a few times before the two teamed up, but she didn't have the strength or the motivation to fix it up. Now that she had Faggot to help her, she figured it would be a good time to put down roots.

The building itself used to be a house, she thought. It looked like it anyway. Four walls, two storeys and an attic? Didn't matter. Out there, it's free real estate.

The outside used to be white but over time it ended up looking kinda dusty and run-down, just like the rest of the buildings left after the Analog Wars.

"This is it?" Faggot asked when they pulled up. "I was expecting something with a little more..."

"Little more what?"

"Just a little... more."

"Oh, alright Mr Picky. You think you could do better?"

"No, no! That's not what I'm saying!"

Dyke laughed and kicked down the bike stand. "I know it ain't. I'm just yankin' your chain, kid. Now c'mon and haul ass. I want this place ready for the afterparty. Bring the radio."

Faggot grabbed it and followed Dyke inside. Some other Desert folks had obviously taken refuge inside. Here and there were empty soda and beer cans, as well as empty food packets.

"You keep checking down here. I'm gonna make sure the upstairs is still okay," Dyke said. Even though she said it calmly, she took out one of her guns, just in case. You never can be too careful in the desert.

The stairs were sound, and two of the upstairs rooms even had mattresses. The attic was clear as well.

"Faggot, we struck gold!" she yelled down.

"Fuck yeah! Can I put the radio on now?"

Tuesday.

Dyke stole- well, borrowed- some tools from D's station and was currently nailing down some loose floorboards upstairs. Faggot was blasting the radio while cleaning the kitchen room. Turns out Blind hadn't killed the water supply, so they even had running water. And the bathroom had a shower! Just imagine. No more shitty face splashes for her. Sure, the water would be cold, but damn it if that mattered.

She heard the song end from downstairs and D's voice started with the announcements.

"Crank it up!"

The voice got louder. "-and we remind you folks again to be on the lookout. Scarlet Ripper and the Mongoose don't wear masks, 'cause if you see 'em, you're dead. Our next announcement is just a little reminder from the DB and F- and from the Killjoys themselves- that there's still a drag race goin' down at the Hub Thursday night. For all you rock’n’rollers with motorbabies, don’t sweat it tryna find a babysitter for the night. Bring ‘em along. Fun for all the family. So, far our challengers are,” he cleared his throat dramatically. “Ahem. Party Poison and the Kobra Kid, Dyke on a Bike and Jet Star, Roadkill and Rock Machine-”

“Hey, Dee! Who’re Roadkill and Rock Machine?” Faggot called up.

“No idea, kid!”

Wednesday.

Most of the shit in the house was done. As housewarming gifts, Kobra and Ghoul had given them all their leftover cans of spray paint. Poison wasn’t too happy, but he settled for a trade: he got to paint a mural in the “living room”, as Dyke was calling the front room with some stolen beanbags. He spent the whole day locked in there with Cherri, the windows thrown open, and nobody else was allowed in. Except Ghoul, but Ghoul went where he wanted anyway. Dee, Jet and Kobra took the stairs and the upstairs rooms, while Faggot took the attic. He insisted on it. Said he was gonna make it look like “the coolest motherfuckin’ loft you ever saw.” They all camped out that night so nobody would die from inhaling the paint fumes, even though they were all pretty spaced out from them anyway. They all went to bed pretty early (by their standards), but as Dee was drifting off she muttered to Poison beside her. “I’m gonna kick your ass tomorrow night.”

He didn’t respond.

Thursday morning.

The crew were up bright and early with the rising of the sun. They had a party to prep for.

Poison took over the bathroom for a solid three hours to redo his roots. “Being this awesome doesn’t come from shitty dye jobs,” he said, grinning at Dee leaning against the doorway. She flipped him off as she walked away, shaking her head.

“I’m gettin’ the booze at the Rendezvous!” she called out as she left the house, popping the collar on her jacket and snapping on her mask. Sunburn was a killer in more ways than one.

The Rendezvous was a spot pretty near the new Killjoy House. You got in contact with Cherri Cola, who got in contact with his contact, who got you anything you wanted from Bat City. Then you met him at the Rendezvous. Dee went all out for this party. The strongest, rawest vodka, straight from the slums of the Lobby.

In the heat-haze of midday, Dyke saw two figures kneeling on the ground beside a third body. As she got closer, she could see that the body was a Drac, and the two figures were men without masks. She drew her guns when she saw the glint of knives in the sun. They were taking the kidneys out of the corpse.

She cast a shadow over them as she stood with her guns pointing directly at each of their heads.

“Now I just know you motherfuckers ain’t doin’ shit to that Drac.”

The one on her right looked up. He wore a mesh shirt and stony grey skinny jeans. She glanced at his left hand. Brass knuckles, spikes. So he was one of those rebels. His partner, arms deep in blood and gore, continued to work. His jacket was laid neatly beside him, and his shirt was a deep red and tattered. From what Dyke could see, his pants were tight and tartan, though they were so dark it was hard to tell. 

“What’s it to you, Red?” the one looking at her asked.

She shook her hair out of her face and tightened her grip on the guns. “I happen to know a thing or two about the desert, boys. And one thing I know is that if you mess up someone’s body, the Phoenix Witch can’t take ‘em. Now, I know it’s said she can’t save the Dracs, but if it was me? Hell, I’d hope their souls never got free. Otherwise they’d be comin’ after me worse than a Scarecrow for Doctor D.”

The second man looked up at Dee. His eyes stared into her soul, willing her deepest fears into the open. But she would not give in.

“These people would have you killed, would shoot you where you stand, and yet you would give them over to the afterlife? You would give them their peace?”

Her hands never wavered, even as she shrugged. “They’re people too.”

The man smiled at her, but the smile held no emotion but morbid curiosity.

“They may have been people once, but after the masks? No longer are they anything but meat.”

She stretched her neck out. “Alright Mr Bigshot, I’m gonna give you and your buddy here five seconds to grab your jackets and get the hell outta my sight. One.”

The two men stood calmly, one with a kidney in each hand. The man with the brass knuckles picked up their jackets. Dyke’s guns followed them with every movement until they were safely speeding away on another motorbike. She shook herself off and put her guns away.

“Damn,” she muttered. “What a fuckin’ morning.”

Thursday afternoon.

“Honeys I’m home!” Dyke called, opening the front door with her butt. She had crates of vodka in her arms which rendered them almost completely useless. She put them under the stairs and dusted off her hands.

“She’ll either love you or hate you, man.” Faggot’s muffled voice came from the living room.

“I’m taking bets,” Ghoul said. “Who’s betting what?”

Dyke heard more voices talking over each other as she walked quietly back to the door of the room. That was another thing about the house: almost every room had a door. Front door, back door, kitchen door, bedroom door. Only door that wasn’t there was the bathroom door. Everyone had agreed to leave it like that. It was just funnier.

The floorboard creaked under her foot and she heard Poison shushing them all.

“Dee? That you?”

Those assholes hadn’t even heard her come in. Fuck.

“Yeah, I’m back. Can I come in?”

Poison opened the door and stepped out quickly. Dee only saw a flash of colour before he closed the door with a snap.

“The mural is done.”

“So… can I see it, then?”

“You have to promise you won’t get mad.”

She thought for a second. What the hell. “Okay. I promise. I won’t get mad at you about the mural.”

“Close your eyes.”

Dyke shut her eyes tight and Poison guided her into the room.

“Now, on the count of three, open ‘em.”

She held her breath.

“One.”

It was killing her. The suspense. What if it was really terrible?

“Two.”

Nah, Poison wouldn’t do that to her. Unless he thought it was funny.

“Three.”

She opened them.

In front of her in every colour under the sun was a larger-than-life depiction of her darling. Carla, with flowers in her hair being blown about by the non-existent wind. Carla, her love. Carla, the Destroyer.

She said nothing.

“Uh, Dee? You gonna say anything?” Kobra asked nervously.

Dyke turned to Poison, who was slowly inching closer towards freedom.

“Party Poison,” she said seriously.

“Oh, fuck.” He debated running, but ended up deciding against it. He probably deserved it.

“You are…”

Jet tensed, ready to tackle her to the ground if it looked like she was going to go for him.

“Amazing,” she finished. “You are amazing. This is… This is the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for me.”

The sigh of relief that escaped everyone’s lips was heard all across the desert.

“Never scare me like that again, Dyke.”

“Not a chance, Pee-head.”

a lil different than usual... filler during MTBBW that you can read here. very much a collab with another friend who thought of scarlet + mongoose........ if u know who they are let us know by liking ;)

[the-fiction-witch]

Don’t Tempt Me

REAL LIFE COUPLE TBS X READER RATING SMUTT AF

I yawned as my alarm bleeped loudly proclaiming I had to get up so I slammed my hand on the button to silence it turning over to be laid on my stomach, the room still dark as the sun hasn't risen yet, I hugged the pillow on the empty side of the bed as close as I could trying to snuggle and get just five more minutes-

"Wakey wakey" I heard behind me but I tried to ignore him "your gonna be late" Thomas says flicking the bedroom light on making me groan cuddling tighter to his pillow to trying and avoid the light best I could "humm what are you up to?" He smirked

"Sleeping" I answered gruffly

"Sleeping? Liar" he smirked "knowone sleeps like that"

"Like what?" I ask

"Knowone sleeps, with their tits in a pillow, their legs around a pillow, and their arse in the air" he explained

"I do" I shrug

"No you don't, don't tempt me y/n your Running late as It is" he says "out of bed, else I'm fucking that slutty little cunt till lunch time" he growled slapping my arse where it was out the covers and i heard him go off towards the door

"You're mean" I complain

"You're the one who insisted on going to college and having to wake us both up at six am" he sighed

"You don't have to wake up" I shrug

"I do If you don't wanna walk" he sighed

"True...Thomas?" I whine

"What?" He asks

"Kissy?" I ask

"When you get your arse outta bed" he says

"Never" I giggled

"Alright" he sighed putting his coffee down on the bedside table "I gave you fair warning sweetheart and you didn't take it" he smirked grabbing my ankle and trying to pull me out of bed but I grabbed onto the headboard kicking and trying to remain in bed complaining all the while "you really won't get out of bed?" He sighed giving up with trying to drag me

"No" I giggled

"Alright, I wanted you" he smirked jumping on our bed and pinning my waist down pulling the covers off me

"Thomas no! I'll get up!" I complain

"Too late" he Answered pulling my hips up so I was on my knees

"Noooo I'll go to college!" I whine

"I told you, you got out of bed else I was fucking your slutty little cunt and you refused so... I'm gonna fuck you" he smirked

"Nooooooooooooo!!" I sqeualed managing to turn over to be on my back but Thomas just pinned down my arms and sat over my waist in his little black boxers and red racing t shirt his hair a mess as he hasn't brushed it yet and he was letting it grow fairly long again, his brown eyes dark where he was clearly horny and hadn't been awake long, his lips curved up into a smirk even if he clearly desperately needed to shave "I'll go to college" I sighed

"Good girl" he smiled giving my nose a kiss and getting off me starting at the end of our bed grabbing his blue skinny jeans from our bedroom floor slipping them on and starting to do the belt up "now out of bed, you have five minutes, I come back and your still in bed I am hand cuffing you to that headboard for the rest of the day" he warns finishing with his pants and getting his half drunk coffee from the bedside table and I giggled sitting playfully making sure anything important of my naked body was covered "don't tempt me y/n you know I'll do it" he warns going downstairs so I sighed getting up and getting dressed heading downstairs to pack my backpack while Thomas made his second coffee of the morning so he would be awake enough to drive "what are you wearing?" He asks

"Clothes" I giggled

"Don't get smart with me y/n, pull that skirt down I don't want you flashing your college" he says walking past to get his phone and slapping my arse "whoa! Whoa! whoa! Hold on a minute" he says turning back and pulling my skirt up and heard the smirk in his voice as he wrapped his arms around my waist pushing his morning wood against my Butt "you little slut" he smirked "why isn't there anything under this skirt?" He asked moving a hand down to rub my juices on the lips of my pussy

"None clean" I giggled

"Liar" he smirked "don't tempt me y/n because I will happily bend you over and fuck that little whore of a cunt If you want me too" he smirked slipping two of his long fingers inside me "Hu? You want that? Want me to bend you over the table like a little whore?" He asked

"No" I giggled trying not to enjoy it

"Panties now" he orders giving my clit a little slap before going back to the kitchen licking his fingers as he went.

We sat in the car on the way to college I kept giggling moving my thighs where I wanted fiction after everything Thomas had done to me this morning but his hand left the wheel changing gear and sitting in my thigh separating them making me have my legs wide open

"Enough, so desperate ask" he smirked as he drove

"Your busy" I giggled

"Not that busy sweetheart" he smirked moving his hand up under my skirt rubbing on my clit thought my soft cotton panties "somebody's been very horny this morning" he smirked

"Look who's talking" I giggled

"Yes but I'm always this horny sweetheart I'm just normally not this awake" he says "your not normally this horny" he smirked "do you not wanna go today? You got a class or a exam you wanna get out off?" He asks

"No, I've just missed you" I smiled nuzzling close to his neck giving him some kisses lightly biting where his rubbing was getting harder

"Awwww your sweet," he smiled kissing my head as we arrived at my college and he took his hand away "I'll fuck you when we get home okay?" He offered

"Okay" i giggled "see you later"

"Later sweetheart" he smiled so I gave him a kiss and rushed off to class.

I smirked nuzzling closer to thomas' chest giving him some kisses as we laid there

"Humm don't tempt me y/n I'll do it again" he smirked

"Maybe I want you to" I giggled

"Your such a dirty little girl" he smirked pulling me to kiss him again but I pulled away

"Owww you need to shave your poking me" I complain

"No" he smirked "thought you liked the roughness when I'm eating you out anyway" he smirked licking his bottom lip a little

"Why when you tell me to do something I have to do it, but I tell you to do something and you ignore me?" I ask

"Because" he smirked turning to pull me closer tight against his body "you the Princess, and I'm the daddy" he smirked kissing me again I happily kissed back us both shifting so he could be ontop of me again.

[shhh-no-ones-home]

pissed off* duff mckagan x reader

+++++++++ I barely even listen to guns n roses but at this point they basically own my ass

also this one shot sucks but i dont wanna change it so here ya go i guess

Tattoos in the pic are readers hip and stomach tattoos

* - angry smut 🤷 not really its just like a build up and then the aftermath conversation

Song: pay for it by mindless self indulgence +++++++++

I sat on the couch and shifted uncomfortably, switching the way I had my legs crossed. I was sat smushed between slash and Axl, facing Duff and Steven and Izzy. The two couches in the room facing each other. They had dragged me to the studio for some background stuff on a song but I was now rethinking my decision to comply. We had been waiting for the space for almost a half hour and no one had been back to tell us anything in over twenty minutes. I laid my head back against the couch with a thud, all of the guys looking at me at the same time, when it made the loud noise.

“That sounded like it hurt.”

I shrugged at Stevens comment.

“Not really.”

I looked across the ceiling. I moved my head to look at Axl when he slapped his leg and stood up.

“I’m gonna go see what’s taking so long.”

He stepped over my legs, as well as Slash’s. Saul getting up, stretching, and following him out of the room. When they were gone Izzy stood up and came and sat on the arm rest to the left of me.

“What, you don’t wanna sit by me?”

I laughed as his eyes went wide, all defensive.

“No, it’s just,”

“I’m kidding Iz, I get it, these couches aren’t the greatest anyways.”

I stood up too and stretched, pulling my shirt back down after, and walking around the small room.

“Didn’t they tell you guys three?”

I looked down at my watch and then the clock on the wall.

“Yep.”

Duff piped up.

I shook my head in disapproval, it was way past three. I sat back down on the opposing arm rest to Izzy so we were facing each other now. Suddenly Axl stormed into the room, grabbing his notebook off the table and storming back out. We all looked between each other until slash walked in with his head hung low.

“They said our content isn’t good enough yet.”

He slumphed down on the couch between me and Izzy, and the guys bickered between themselves.

“Evidently Axl doesn’t have as much of a presence, or something. and they said what we have isn’t as good as the last record. They said we need to do some tweaking before we start recording this one.”

He looked at the ground.

“That’s utter bullshit!”

I stood off the couch.

“I outta go find the low life that said that and give him a piece of my mind.”

I went to move for the door when Duff caught my arm.

“I don’t think that would be the best idea y/n, we need these people to like us.”

“And besides, Axl is enough diva for all of us.”

I looked at Izzy.

“Who says he’s the only one with the right to be angry?”

I ripped my arm away from Duff. I put my hands in the air.

“Whatever, but if their not gonna do anything yet there’s no point in staying here. So I’m out.”

I stepped over slash and past Izzy, out the door. I was halfway down the hall when Duff grabbed my arm and swung me around to face him.

“Wait up, what happened to band time? Even if we don’t record, we still had dinner plans.”

I turned around and looked at him like he was crazy.

“Didn’t you hear? Band time was over when one of the band members got pissed and stormed off. And we all know he’s gonna sit in his room and self destruct for the rest of the night so there’s no point.”

I crossed my arms over my chest.

“And besides, the whole reason we are here in the first place was to record and now we cant. There is no valid reason to stay.”

He shrugged.

“I just figured we could still hang out.”

“Why would I want to do that? We’re all just gonna complain about this situation anyway. Besides where would we even go?”

He cocked his eyebrow up.

“Anywhere you want, maybe somewhere you could show me the rest of that tattoo on your stomach.”

He winked at me. I looked at him unamused.

“I thought you said it was band time.”

He laughed.

“Am I not part of the band?”

I just shook my head.

“You are one wild character Duff mckagan.”

He smiled at me.

“I try really hard.”

I looked past him down the hall and dropped my arms.

“Look I’ll consider it, I’ll call you later.”

I turned and walked away, Duff not following me this time.

°°°°°°°°° I sat at the end of my bed and bounced my leg. My elbows where rested on on my knees and the phone receiver was against my ear, listening to it ring. When the line clicked I sat upright.

“Duffy?”

I heard him clear his throat.

“Yeah?”

“It’s y/n, I talked to Axl.”

“Oh.”

“Look, I talked to him and now I’m a little pissed off.”

“And?”

“I was wondering if you could come over now? Ya know, for what we talked about earlier?”

There was silence.

“Duff?”

“Yeah, I’ll be right there.”

“Bring protection.”

I heard him hum and then a click signalling the line going dead. I placed the phone back on it’s perch and sat on my bed, chewing my thumb nail. I couldn’t believe I was actually taking him up on his offer. But either way I was just as angry as I was before after thinking about the situation for a while and having a chat with axl. And who knows maybe I should have asked him for a hookup instead, angry sex is always better when both parties have a motive right? I just kept thinking about what was gonna happen. At the time I just wanted Duff to fuck my brains out and make me forget about today, that way I could move on to something else.

When I heard the knock at my door I practically ran to open it. When the door swung open there was Duff holding a bottle of vodka and a box of condoms. I didn’t even invite him in, I just grabbed his chain and lock necklace and pulled him down to me, kissing him harshly and walking him back into my apartment with me. He half held onto my sides and kissed me back.

“Eager?”

He said when he pulled away.

“Pissed off.”

I said, grabbing the bottle from him and taking his hand to lead him to my room. When we were in I turned him around and pushed him down, straddling him on the end of the bed.

“And glad you brought reinforcements.”

I twisted the cap off the vodka and took a huge swig of it before handing it to him and watching him do the same. When he was done he put the bottle on the floor and tossed the box of condoms behind him on the bed with the pack of cigs he usually keeps in his jacket. I cupped his face and kissed him again, before we even detached he picked me up and turned to face the bed. When we stopped kissing he knelt onto the bed and laid me down, crawling up over me and kissing me again harshly. When he pulled away he smiled at me.

“So about that tattoo?”

I smirked at him.

“You gonna fuck me and find out what it is or are you gonna keep talking?”

The next thing I knew my shirt was gone, along with his jacket, him not even wearing a shirt to begin with. He kissed me again, then he kissed down my jaw, neck, and torso with hot wet kisses, licking over the visible part of the tattoo before he unbuttoned my jeans. He smirked at it making a ‘nice’ face. It was a half sun half moon right in the center of my stomach below my bellybutton, stars littered on the moon side and clouds on the sun side, across my hip bones. He slide my jeans all the way off, along with my panties, leaving me completely naked in front of him. He examined my body.

“It suits you.”

I sat up and started unlacing his pants.

“Thanks.”

As my hands moved I kissed across his stomach, he was still knelt in front of me and is considerably taller so I didn’t get very far but I worked anyways. When his pants were loose enough he stood up and kicked them off.

°°°°°°°°° I puffed the smoke out and handed the cigarette back to Duff.

“Ya know I never really thought about it but you have like no ass.”

“Thanks?”

I laughed and covered my face.

“No no don’t get me wrong that’s not like a bad thing but you have much better qualities.”

I turned to look at him.

“Like?”

“Thighs.”

He raised a brow.

“Thighs?”

I nodded.

“Definitely, like you have zero butt but your thighs just like do something to me. If there’s anything I like on a man it’s a strong brow and thick thighs.”

He blew smoke out his nose before passing me the cigarette again.

“Good to know.”

i laughed.

“see youre gonna make fun of me now. but its true. i dont normally think of any of you guys like that but when push comes to shove you probably have what i like the most.”

he handed me the cig again.

“so next time were alone i should just whip out these bad boys?”

he smiled, pulling the blanket away from his leg and smacking his thigh. i took a drag and rolled my eyes, leaning over to kiss him, the smoke flowing out of my nose as we kissed.

“in your dreams duffy.”

[myherodiehardfan]

promts (i STOLE FROM ALL OVER THE PLACE)

- prompt list -

Prompt List #1 ♛ Imagines

“We’re not just friends and you fucking know it.”

“Please don’t cry. I can’t stand to see you cry”

“Stay with me”

“Walk out that door and we’re through”

“Well. Yell, scream, say something. Anything”

“I can’t breathe”

“I hate how much I love you”

“Why are you so jealous?”

“Where do you think you’re going”

“Just leave me alone”

“I need some time”

“Despite what you think, I am completely capable of taking care of myself”

“You can’t keep pretending it didn’t happen, cause guess what? It did!”

“Just please be my best friend right now, not the guy I just confessed my love to.”

“Stop pretending you’re okay, cause I know you’re not.”

“Just talk to me”

“Bite me”

“If you insist”

“I think I’m in love with you, and that scares the crap out of me”

“I think you’re just afraid to be happy”

“Why are you so nice to me”

“Choose me”

“We’ll get through this, I promise”

“You’re so fucking hot when you’re mad”

“You’re mine. I don’t share”

“Just shut up and kiss me.”

“If we get caught I’m blaming you”

“Make me”

“Do you want to kiss as bad as I do right now”

“I think I forgot how to breath”

“Stop biting that fucking lip!”

“You’re blushing”

“I missed something didn’t I?”

“You come to my room and wake me up at 4am, to cuddle?”

“Well this is awkward”

“Is that my shirt?”

“You look like you need a hug”

“I can’t believe you don’t like Disney movies”

“Please come home, I miss you”

“You’re so fucking adorable”

“How can you still look so attractive while crying.”

“I’m pregnant”

“You’re lucky you’re cute”

“Cuddle me.”

“Sometimes I really don’t like you”

“What if I told you I’ve been in love with you since we were kids.”

“You’re seriously like a man-child.”

“You’re getting crumbs all over my bed”

“Im too sober for this”

“Oh god, I need a drink”

Bad boy writing prompts (warning: mild sexual themes)

“He was sneak out the window past curfew kind of trouble, he was a motorbike ride cross-country kind of trouble, he was the kind of boy your daddy hated. But he was the only man that made you feel alive.” (Oh, Dabi, my dear, I’m looking at you.)

“‘A gentleman would offer me his seat’”    ‘Gentlemen are boring. But you’re free to sit on my lap.’ You narrowed your eyes. He slanted his head innocently, ‘Over my knees then’    ‘Charming, aren’t you’    ‘Only for you, baby’”

“You gawked. Did he seriously just offer ten million yen for your portrait? ‘You want me on your wall?’   ‘Actually, I want you in my bed but you seem to averse sex, so how about it?’”

“I love you more than I hate the rest of the world.”(Hm. A lot of the villains, but especially Shiggy and Overhaul.)

“I seem to have a nasty habit of driving people away.” (A lonesome MC/Reader or my darling Shinso, technically not a bad boy but can be applied hehe)

“Her body was his. His to ravish, to possess, to savor. But he was a selfish man and having just her skin wasn’t enough for him. He wanted more, always more. He desired her heart, her soul, her beautiful mind. Everything. He wanted her. And she will be his.” ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) (This is as far I will go)

RANDOM SENTENCE STARTERS

SHORT

“Marry me.”

“Do you want me to leave?”

“You are not going without me.”

“I can’t believe you!”

“I swear it won’t happen again.”

“What did you say?”

“I’m not jealous.”

“You’re jealous, aren’t you?”

“We can’t keep doing this.”

“Are you sure this is legal?”

“Isn’t this amazing?”

“I’m going to take care of you, okay?”

“Stay the night. Please.”

“You can’t die. Please don’t die.”

“Run away with me.”

“You did WHAT?”

“Quit whining.”

“Get outta my sight!”

“Why are you so annoying?”

“Were you ever going to tell me?”

“Never in a million years.”

“Don’t ask me that…”

“I might have had a few shots.”

“What’s with the box?”

“W- What are you doing?”

“Say it!”

“I could kiss you right now!”

“Are you done with that?”

“What’s going on here?”

“Stop pinning this on me! You started it!”

“It’s your fault we’re in this mess.”

“Did you do this on purpose?!”

“Kiss me.”

“Are you still awake..?”

“Excuse you?”

“This is all your fault!”

“I can’t believe you dragged me into this.”

“Don’t give me that look! It wasn’t my fault!”

“I shouldn’t be in love with you!”

“It’s not fair!”

“I could kill you right now!”

“Knock it off!”

“Screw you!”

“You’re a complete moron!”

“I love this song!”

“I can’t be in love with you!”

“Make me.”

“Don’t tempt me.”

“I hate you.”

“You are infuriating!”

“Just shut up already.”

“That doesn’t even make sense.”

“Bite me.”

“Eat me.”

“Kiss my ass.”

“Just admit I’m right.”

“Just admit you’re wrong.”

“You are being ridiculous!”

“That’s irrational.”

“Listen to me!”

“That’s not what I meant and you know it.”

“Don’t yell at me.”

“That’s it. End of discussion.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“You shouldn’t have said that.”

“Fuck you!”

“Shut your mouth before I shut it for you.”

“How dare you?”

“I dare you!”

“It’s you, it’s always been you.”

“Well this is awkward…”

“Just pretend to be my date”.  

MISCELLANEOUS

“Are you really gonna leave without asking me the question you’ve been dying to ask me?”

“The planet is fine. The people are fucked.”

“I just did some calculations, and I’ve been able to determine that you’re full of shit.”

“You know what I like most about people? Pets.”

“Do you ever think if people heard our conversations they’d lock us up?”

“What about a compromise? I’ll kill them first, and if it turns out they were friendly, I’ll apologize.”

“I don’t hate you.. I just don’t like that you exist.”

“Love is the jelly to sunshine’s peanut butter. And if I tell you that I’m in sandwich with you, I’m not just saying it to get in your Ziploc bag.”

“Do things that make you happy within the confines of the legal system.”

“Did you really just insult Captain America in front of me?”

“Can I touch your boob?”

“It’s not that you’re wrong, exactly, you’re just extremely not right.”

“You shouldn’t be trusted with small children, should you?”

“Give me cake or give me death.”

“On a scale from, ’I can sometimes make important phone calls without crying’ to ’I have a stable job with a steady income, a spouse who loves me, a dog, and two kids who are screwed up minimally at worst’, how much of an adult are you?”

“You think I’m dumb enough to fall for that stupid move?”

“Despite the cliche, it’s not me, it’s you.”

“Obviously you can’t tell a woman you just met that you love her, but it sucks that you can’t.”

“No, it was my fault for thinking that you might care.”

“When you love someone, you just don’t stop. Ever. Even when people roll their eyes or call you crazy… even then. Specially then!”

“If you’re not scared, then you’re not taking a chance. If you’re not taking a chance, then what the hell are we doing anyway?”

“I think I’ve been holding myself back from falling in love with you all over again.”

“What have I told you about the toilet seat?”

“I tried to change the duvet and I got stuck inside.”

“I vote today to be a pajama day.”

“You have to tell me why were committing a felony before we do it. Not that that’s going to stop us, but at least I’ll have all the facts.”

“I don’t leave messages. If I wanted to talk to a machine, I’d talk to my VCR.”

“I can be flexible. As long as everything is exactly the way I want it, I’m totally flexible.”

“You know we’re suppose to be together. I knew it the first time I saw you, and you know it, too. I know you do.”

“Those things you said yesterday… Did you mean them?”

“I’m not going to apologise for this. Not anymore.”

“What I hear when I’m being yelled at is people caring loudly at me.”

“I am NOT crying, okay?! I’m allergic to jerks!”

“This would not happen if I had a penis!”

“That’s almost exactly the opposite of what I meant.”

“All nighter, you and me. First one to fall sleep buys the other dinner.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever played spin the bottle.”

“Sorry! I didn’t mean to touch your butt.”

“I’m ok, thank you. Just please, stop talking to me.”

“To the night you’ll never remember!”

“Excuse me, did the 12:15 bus come by already?”

“Could I sit here? All the other tables are full.”

“Are you meeting someone here? Because.. I think I’m that person.”

“You weren’t supposed to laugh! I’m so embarrassed!”

“It must be hard with your sense of direction, never being able to find your way to a decent pickup line.”

“Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his/her cake hole.”

“I’m not gonna die in a hospital where the nurses aren’t even hot.”

“You better take care of that car or I swear I’ll haunt your ass!”

“This is the dumbest thing you’ve ever done.“

“It’s a real shame nobody asked for your opinion.”

“I could do that, but could doesn’t mean would.”

“You cannot fathom the immensity of the fucks I don’t give.”

“You’re like, five feet tall. How you gonna reach me, shortie?”

“I recognize that you have reached a decision, but given that it is a stupid ass decision I have elected to ignore it”

“Do you need me to kill someone for you?”

“Look out where you’re going, asshole!”

“Fuck the sandwich guy!”

“I did not mean for stripping to come out of this.”

“The whole street is blocked off. The police won’t tell us anything, but I think there’s been some kind of attack… Maybe a bomb?”

“Oh my god, are you okay? I’m calling the police. I think I saw who did this to you.”

“I’m weird, you’re weird, we could have weird little babies and live weirdly ever after if it wasn’t for the fact I find you repulsive.”

“There is nothing wrong with planning a wedding with a video game character.”

“I’m gonna lay down and die for like half hour okay?”  

“There’s been some real friction in our friend group lately. I suggest an orgy to save our friendships.”

“It’s midnight, what do you want?”

“I think I know how to use a bed.”

“If I wake up in the morning and I’m dead… Wait.”

“You are completely unfit to handle a child.”

“We have to get out of this place. It is EVIL.”

“Don’t you dare throw that snowba-, goddammit!”

“When in doubt curl into the fetal position and give up on life.”

“It’s not a double date, we’re just third and forth wheeling.”

PREGNANCY

“I have something to tell you…”

“I think I’m pregnant.”

“I’m pregnant!”

“When were you going to tell me that you’re pregnant?”

“You’re smart and successful with an adorable belly.”

“$50 bucks says it’s a girl/boy.”

“Pregnancy suits you…”

“Hello little one. We can’t wait to meet you…”

“I’ll just be in the bathroom throwing my fucking guts up because our unborn kid wants to be a dick!”

“There’s someone I’d like you to meet…”

“Shh… He/she’s sleeping..”

“I have a special surprise for you. Close your eyes and follow me.”

“No, no, no, no, no, we aren’t ready… We aren’t ready for kids yet!”

“Oh, gosh, I felt it! I felt a kick!”

FLUFF

“Your hair is so soft…”

“You’re so cute when you pout like that!”

“Just relax, I’ll wash your hair for you.”

“I’m not going to stop poking you until you give me some attention.”

“What, does that feel good?”

“HA! I found a weak-spot on you, didn’t I?”

“Are you wearing my shirt?”

“You are ridiculously comfortable…”

“I’ve had a rough day and honestly all I want right now is a drink and someone to cuddle with…”

“You’re so cute when you’re half asleep like this…”

“You’re beautiful, you know that?”

“We should get a puppy!”

STARGAZING

“Aren’t they beautiful?”

“These stars are nothing compared to the ones I’ve seen in your eyes.”

“Shooting star, make a wish.”

“It’s actually a comet, but I’ll still make one.”

“Imagine if it could always be this way, even in the city.”

“Never thought something so beautiful could exist in nature…”

“Wouldn’t it be cool to name a star after yourself?”

“Y'know, your roof may not be the safest place for us to stargaze.”

“This is why you made me drive three hours out into the middle of nowhere?”

“Is that a– Wait, no, just an airplane.”

“I wouldn’t mind falling asleep out here.

FLIRTY/SUGGESTIVE/SEXUAL

“Did you just… finish?”

“They always make shower sex sound so appealing, but honestly, this is getting dangerous.”

“I’m not actually feeling anything.”

“Are you getting any closer?”

“Why do they make this look so easy in all those porn movies?! This hurts like fuck!”

“Did something just happen? You’re not turned on anymore.”

“Shit sorry, am I going too fast?”

“Wow, you’re hot.”

“Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?”

“Hey, I’m open minded.”

“Keep sweet-talking and this could go a whole new direction.”

“I think it’s about time we stop avoiding the obvious.”

“I’m gonna be honest with you. I’m really horny, and you’re really hot. Can we fuck? Like, now?”

“I see someone’s happy to see me.”

“I saw that. You just checked me out.”

“You know, when this is over, we should really have angry sex.”

“Take off your clothes.”

“Tell all those other guys/girls you don’t need them ‘cause you got me.”

“Don’t give me that face, it’s so cute I might not be able to hold back.”

“Boobs are really just squishy pillows.”

“If you don’t get turned on by having your neck kissed somethings wrong with you.”

“Blasphemy! Sex solves everything.”

“I platonically want to have sex with you. No big deal.”

TEXTS

[text]: What do you want now?

[text]: Do you want to bet on that?

[text]: Guess who just got back in town.

[text]: So I might be in a hospital right now…

[text]: We can’t keep doing this anymore!

[text]: Come on, come to the party!

[text]: Can you pick me up from the bar? Too drunk to drive.

[text]: You have no clue how I feel so shut up.

[text]: I call bullshit.

[text]: You thought you could get away with that, didn’t you?

[text] I gave up great shower sex to be here so don’t say I never did anything for our friendship.

[text] Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.

[text] Also, my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall.

[text] Who says no to sex and donuts?!

[text] I know what you did last summer…

[universal-kitty]

.: Right Words, Wrong Time :.

   A commission for @robotarmjokes! Using this prompt! Like this piece? Consider commissioning me...!

   “...so that’s when I was like-? Really? Ya call yourself Johnathan an’ all that an’ think I’m daft enough to not notice you’re not the bloke I talked to before on the phone? I don’t think so! So getting the actual guy took another thirty minutes and by then I was just sick of ‘em, y’know?” DL sighed deeply at the memory of that day, rolling her eyes as the man beside her was trying to not laugh his head off. Not that it mattered much anymore; he was shaking like a leaf in a storm, trying to keep quiet like that! What was the point of trying to stay silent by then?

   Rhys had to take a few breaths (dramatic ones, too, the weirdo) to calm himself, but that grin had not faded a touch since he’d first caught on to the shenanigans that particular info-gathering trip had been. One of the more exhausting ones, far as D was concerned, but it was all fine. Fine an’ dandy and honestly, who tries to swap out a guy?? She’s an info broker, thank you very much! Not an idiot!!!

   “So, uh... John showed up after that, I assume?”

   “Yeah, but as I said, I was bored outta my mind at that point. Bastard kept me waiting and tried to give me the runaround, like? Honestly... I got what I needed to and stormed off. I felt bad! But couldn’t feel too bad, by that point. I just wanted to get home, ha-”

   “-Have some tea, go to bed?” D looked up at her husband, squinting as he fluttered his lashes innocently, a small smile on his lips. He was right, but being interrupted like that... Ugh. Couldn’t even be mad at him. Rhys was too good at playing the sweetheart card and getting off scott free. Damn snake that he is...

   “Ugh, yeah. You know me too well, you know that?” Rhys chuckled, sending her heart drumming away as he leaned over and kissed her forehead with an aching sweetness.

   “It’s because I love you very much and knowing my wife’s habits is just something I’ve gotten to know very well by now.”

   “How well...?” How is that even possible? After two years, surely he’d know quite a few things, but this is the man speaking with confidence to his claims! Like he knows so much more than she expects him to! As flattering as it all is...what does this man know...?!

   “Well enough that I know you sorted the Morrigan file into Neethers.”

   “...I did not!” DL was indignant at the idea, but Rhys tilting his head back and laughing so freely was... First of all, distracting, and secondly, pointing towards truth...not that D was too thrilled over the idea of him being right. Then again, she had been incredibly tired last night, trying to cram some work in before bedtime and the inevitable drag-away by her husband to actually sleep. In a bed.

   “You did! Promise I’m not lying!!” D could only groan in embarrassment at his words, head tilting back into the couch and hands covering her face. Mortifying... That’s some kind of mortifying... “Awhh, sweetheart... That’s why I keep an eye out, though, you know? Something happens, I’m here to help. Right down to if you need more coloring or shampoo, right~?”

   “...We literally use Atlas-brand shampoo and conditioner,” D pointed out, her words slightly muffled from behind her hands. There was a slight pause, then the low sound of his laughter, embarrassment creeping into the sound.

   “Yeah, yeah... True. You, uh, got me there. I still do it, though! And it’s cause I love you and like helping you~” The kisses on her hands made her groan in embarrassment, huffing at his low laughter and the obvious grin now being pressed into her fingers.

   “You’re terrible.”

   “Yet, you love me....and married me. And you’re blushing.” Another groan, trying to gently shove him away. Something Rhys didn’t accept until those hands moved to allow him a quick kiss, only then did he let D alone so she could get up off the couch to prepare her favorite batch of tea. “Really, though. You know how amazing you are?”

   “If I say yes, will it spare me from what’s coming?” A pause from the living room, looking over to see Rhys tilting his head thoughtfully. (Oh NO, that’s cute...)

   “.......Ehhhhh, no.” D groaned to another peal of laughter, the CEO suddenly looking as eager as a puppy to get rolling. “Really, babe! You’re amazing! Getting all this information, retaining it, the notes you keep... Who would’ve known an info broker would be so cute~?”

   “I ain’t cute,” she grumbled sourly, pouting, but Rhys was oblivious to her flustered plight and continued on.

   “...and you’re a bit loud, but in a good way? If that makes sense? Lots of people around here are used to Hyperion ways, I think, so not usually a lot of cussing when I’m around. Which is fine, cause I don’t. I swear little bit, you know this... But yeah, you stub your toe and there go the swears! I think that’s impressive.” A pause. “Is that weird? To find your swearing impressive? Well, look, babe...”

   “I’m working on the tea, but go on.” Just a few more things and she’d rejoin him on the couch...

   “Heh... Uh, anyways! You’ve just...got all this energy. Where does it even come from? Is there honestly anything that can stop you?” In that moment, it was like the planets aligned. D turning to look back to Rhys with a sort of gleam in her eye as he looked over at her in such an adoring way... Unsuspecting of what was to come.

   “Well, an extremely well-placed kiss would do perfectly fine, you know.”

   ....The silence after that felt deafening and, for a moment, DL wasn’t sure what she’d just done. Being flirtatious wasn’t exactly her thing by any stretch and it wasn’t like things got easier because she married Rhys, either! If anything it somehow felt...more difficult. One of her many odd quirks? Gosh, possibly.

   “D-Don’t mind me an-!!”    “Is that an invitation?”

   They both stared at each other, mouths parted with words unfinished. Or, well, more in the case of D, anyways. Rhys had suddenly half-launched up from the couch, staring down his wife with a patient intensity. D felt very put on the spot....in an odd sort of welcomed way...? It was hard to describe, really. But with this alone she was already pretty distracted. Maybe a kiss wasn’t necessary for this...

   “I, um... S-Sure...” Didn’t stop her from agreeing just to see the grin that swept over his face, darting completely off the couch, just so he could rush over to her with enough force to lift her up and gently spin the wifey, then set her down with an eager kiss. It left her dizzy in the best way, giving a shaky laugh when he pulled away, pressing their foreheads together.

   “You alright, sweetheart?” Another shaky, breathless laugh from D at his words, yellow eye lighting up a bit in delight at the sound.

   “Y-Yeah... I’m doing great.”

   “Mmm, glad to hear it,” he hummed, moving away to kiss her temple...and then move away? “Now, why don’t you sit your cute butt down and I’ll finish the tea, okay?” DL blinked at the sudden memory. That’s right... She was making tea before this! He distracted her!!!

   “H-Hey!” At least hearing his bright laughter made everything oh, so worth it...

[finderskeepersff]

20. Part 4

The sun broke through the curtains that I never closed and it hit against my sleeping face, I groaned out opening my eyes slowly and grabbed my phone to see the time. Blinking a few time to clear my vision, realizing we still had an hour or two to spare before we would need to wake up. I rolled over and flung the covers off me to get out of bed, but my body locked up, keeping me in place. Cracking my neck, I arched my back and stretched my legs out across the bed and then I let out a satisfied groan. Looking over at the side of me, light snores were coming from the warm besides me. The side of her face buried in the soft pillow and her body was turned, facing away from me. With a sheet draped around her waist, her bare back bathed up the sun. I put her to sleep, I just got her butt naked, I mean it’s not a bad thing right. Reaching my hand over and and tickled her back with my fingers. Her smooth skin glistening in the sun, Sofia stirred in her sleep, wrinkling her nose and her hand gripped the sheet, wrapping it tighter around her body.

I smirked at her movements, I enjoyed watching her sleep, finding it cute when she stirred or mumbled soft words. Pressing my lips against the skin on her back, I trailed sweet kisses up the curve of her spine until I reached her neck and brushed her hair out of the way to allow my nose to inhale her scent “Good Morning, Bub” I breathed in her ear and slipped my hands between the sheets so I could wrap my arm around her waist. My morning erection that was beginning to poke through my boxers and against the crack of her butt “Cassius” Sofia mumbled in her sleep and attempted to push me away, I pulled back and slid my boxers off before pressing my dick against her again and moving my hand to caress her thigh. I slipped my other hand beneath her and grabbed her breast, Sofia gave in, rolling over on her side she began grinding her ass against my dick, my mouth immediately drew to her neck when she tilted her head to the side. I gently sucked down on her skin, savouring her sweet taste on my tongue.

My hands were moving further in between her thighs and her eyes fluttered open when I brushed my fingers against her clit, she hissed out another moan and open her legs wider. Looking back at me, I smiled at her “Good morning” I whispered again and Sofia only panted in response, grabbing her leg, I threw it over my hip, hooking it behind me. My erection was growing harder by the second against her ass and a shiver rocked through her when I rubbed the head of my dick against her clit. I continued to tease her clit and Sofia was becoming annoyed, she reached between her legs and gripped my dick, pushing the head of my dick towards her opening “stop it” she whined, grinding her centre against me. Sofia spread her legs wider and I finally stroked into her from behind. Sofia’ head fell back and she exhaled deeply. My strokes were slow and tender, yet deep and filling. I slipped in and out of her pussy with such ease, her walls throbbing and pulsating around me.

I propped myself up on my elbow and moved my hand away from her breast and to the centre of her stomach, pressing my hand flat across her stomach as I continued to pump in and out of her at an easy speed. Her hand reached behind me and gripped my ass, urging me to sink in deeper. I moved my fingers over her core, pressing the palm of my hand against her clit, Sofia’ body shuddered. She clenched her eyes closed tight and tucked her bottom lip beneath her teeth, humming out a moan. I placed my mouth against her ear and traced my tongue along her lobe. While my fingers were working at a speed, caressing her clit, my thrusts were slow. I was dragging out each stroke, early morning lazy sex was just what I needed to start my day. Our muffled moans and soft groans, bucking my hips forward I took her ear further into my mouth and bit down. She felt so good wrapped tightly around me, I continued to push and pump until Sofia’ body couldn't take no more and her warm muscle attempted to squeeze me right into oblivion.

Her juices exploded out of her, pouring down her leg and mixing in with mine when I came soon after. Letting the moment marinate between us, we laid connected for a few more seconds, savouring the little time we had together in our peaceful bubble. I finally pulled my softened length out of Sofia and turned my head towards her to claim her mouth with a kiss “mhmmm” Sofia groaned out, pulling away from her “I was sleeping nicely until you kept on poking me with your dick” I chuckled and let go of the grasp I had around her waist “you fell asleep on me last night so yeah” reaching my hand up and pushed a strand of hair out of her face and pressed a small kiss on her forehead, I admired her beauty “stop looking at me like that” she pushed my face away, I can’t even look at my woman in awe.

Resting my head back on the pillow, I was able to perform to my standards in bed, thank you god. I can feel it, new beginnings is coming my way, fresh start. I need it, I need to move no matter the doubts in my mind. The simple fact is they know Sofia, they know what she looks like and that scares me, they now know I am protecting her so they will try and now get at her. They are fucking trying, the more they try, the more I will kill their people, I don’t fucking care. This is why I don’t date, I don’t let anyone get close because of this, this is the reason behind it, getting someone’s daughter killed because of me but Sofia is too precious and I will protect her till the ends of the earth “Cassius?” The way she said my name, she is wanting something “what’s up?” Scratching my chest staring up at the ceiling “you know my designer things at the apartment, can you get them for me?” Lifting my head up from the pillow and catching a glimpse of Sofia walking around naked, I smiled “what makes you think I haven’t already done that?” I questioned, which I did already “you did?” Sofia spat “yeah, I got a removals van, we set Sofia. Don’t worry” she doesn’t even need to worry “thank you baby, not going to lie. I was feeling so drunk, I was getting there anyways” resting my head back on the pillow “when you said you wanted sex right on the dance floor I knew it” Ivy is a total fucking bitch though, she really asking me about cheating on Sofia, like who does that. I’m not going to say it, or anything like that “why was you upset at the meal?” Never got to say it “let me go toilet first, I’ll be back” Sofia said “you want me to put the TV on?” I laughed “shut up” She about to stank the toilet out with her stank self.

Shuffling up on the bed, my back resting against the heardboard “took your time” I smiled, Sofia mean mugged me. She put a robe on which is good, her nipples makes me want to suck on them “so tell me, come” patting the bed “I just realised, you put me to bed. You stripped me naked, naked. Poor me, even my panties, you nasty” she pointed at me before crawling onto the bed “I did, you had no bra on anyways Sofia, I didn’t know. I just stripped you and then masturbated over your your body” I chuckled, Sofia climbed onto my lap facing me “is mini Cassius asleep? And that is nasty!” Sofia moved the covers back “what a weird looking creature” moving Sofia’ hand away “so is your face, now tell me” holding Sofia’ hands in mine, she took in a deep breath, she sat here looking at my dick “so my mother said you’re the devil, that it was good that your spawn isn’t here. She is just wishing bad on me” that actually hurts to hear “wow” I said in shock “who told you this?” That’s evil, even by my mothers standards “my mother said she doesn’t want me pregnant by you, she is just wishing bad vibes on me” that is so sad “Ivy told me” she said in a whisper “but how do you know she is not lying? You know she does that a lot?” Sofia shrugged “has to be, I saw Celine and she was saying I’m having a hard time trying. It makes sense, it connects” Sofia is dying to cry “you can cry Sofia” she shrugged not trying to cry “what if they right” her voice all high pitched “they not though are they? You’re fine, shit is a little stressful right now and when we settle we will continue to try and then we can get help, I’ll pay it’s fine. Stop all of this Sofia. Honestly” I hate Sofia crying, she sobbed out face planting onto my chest “I will make you happy Sofia, I promise you this” I will make her dream come true.

When we get to Atlanta, again we are in a hotel but that is because we never got to go there and view a house. We just need to do it quick, get that over with so we can move into a house, a house she always wanted. I still checked up on the house I picked out, it’s still on sale so fingers crossed that we get it “so I packed everything, even your things, but you really not going to let me drive all that time, right?” rolling my eyes “if you gave up your car then maybe we wouldn’t need to drive but you stubborn as shit, I will drive of course. We can change over but we have the removals van, he already set off. We have a storage unit, see how good I am. I did this and you can’t even give up your car” Sofia side eyed me “excuse me, I am driving your money around” side eyeing her “liar, I have someone else doing that for me. I switched it up, it’s you and this car you won’t give up” Sofia huffed out as she walked into the bathroom, she knows it. She knows I am right “who is driving it?” Sofia asked “a friend, it’s all set out. Don’t worry” my burner phone started ringing, this is it and this is the time we need to go “yo” I said down the phone “it’s done” Lamar disconnected the phone, short and simple “let’s go then” she don’t need to do anything else but leave.

I haven’t told Sofia a small detail, that my friends are moving to Atlanta. I don’t know how she will feel about it “this is it Cassius, this is it! This is us, we moving in together properly, we doing this” closing the trunk “I know, we outta this bitch and onto something different. You think you ready for it? I mean, things will be different” Sofia wrapped her arms around my body “are you having doubts?” she questioned “no, not me anyways. I am just saying, it is a big thing to do but I am ready. Also, my friends are moving there” might as well tell her “where?” she spat “ATL?” Sofia frowned at me “oh, you’re joking with me right? New beginnings didn’t include them, Cassius why? I know it, you are taking the business there” she moved away from me “I only found this out yesterday and no, I am not doing anything. I am actually very happy they are coming, I was doubting because I didn’t feel like I wanted to be lonely, it’s a clean slate for us all. If you are going to always think that we are doing something wrong then we won’t work, I put with thottie Ivy. Shit is like that” Sofia just glared at me “Cassius, if I find out anything” she pointed at me “so help me god, we will continue to move until you stop!” I think she meant that, I mean I am not doing anything but she will go to the ends of the earth so I can change but I have.