#anyway. could have been better but good shit overall. echo was 10/10 and as a fives enjoyer I'm glad nala se exploded

[elderstrolls]

[hopevalley]

Season 8, Episode 9: Pre-Wedding Jitters

Y’all know what’s wild? The season is coming to a close! I feel like we just got started with Season 8, and it’s already nearly over. I’m not ready for things to end...except the love triangle. Lol.

One important thing I want to talk about, before we move on to my regularly scheduled episode write-up, of course, is the quality of the writing and filming this season. I really feel like the team took a step back and thought very carefully about how to improve the show, and then they went through the effort of actively trying to improve things. 

Are there still badly-written areas of the show? Absolutely. Are there things I loathe seeing? Yes. Are there plotlines that are extremely contrived even by Hallmark standards? Unfortunately there are.

But I don’t think anyone can deny that the writing this season is, overall, an improvement over Seasons 5, 6, and 7. The only thing that I feel about S8 that is worse than 5/6/7 is the love triangle, but it had to come to a head eventually so it was always going to be a point of contention among the fans.

I’ve seen a ton of negativity going around the Internet, and you are all entitled to your opinions, but let’s hold back from being too angry until we see how things will work out. After all, there is a chance, however small, that Hallmark will end up surprising us.

So here’s to hoping that the writing quality uptick will continue as we move into Season 9.

And now, our plotlines from this episode:

The Dilapidated Love Triangle

The Wedding Planning/Party

The New & Improved Henry Gowen

Miscellaneous (Car Investigation, pastor position/Jesse and Clara + Cafe, Carson and Faith, Mike and Fiona)

This was another episode that felt pretty smooth in its storytelling; it had some smaller plots going on, but two primarily large plots, a smaller one that revolved around Henry, and then a few small (connected) plots from previous episodes/that overarched the whole season!

Sorry for the muddle by the way, it took me hours to type this and I’m too tired to read it over thoroughly before posting. If you see any glaring issues please let me know so I can fix them, though!

--

The Dilapidated Love Triangle

Let’s just get the pig slop out of the way, shall we? I think we are all in some sort of agreement by now that we’re tired of the triangle and just want to see it resolved as soon as possible so that we can get on with our lives and invest our interests in the right place(s). 

I also believe most of us are also in some kind of agreement, however we feel about the characters, the triangle, and who Elizabeth’s choice should be, that this thing has been very poorly paced. This sentiment seems to be echoed across the Internet right now. The pacing is AWFUL. After two years of almost nothing happening, now we’re going to bullrush to the end of the triangle? That’s a yikes from me, Chief. (Wait, didn’t I say that last week, too?)

I was never a fan of the narrated beginnings of episodes. I think they’re really tacky and boring. That said, there’s no other way to get into Elizaeth’s head easily because...I don’t know. Either Erin isn’t that skilled or the director doesn’t know how to direct her, or the script sucks. They struggle SO MUCH with show-don’t-tell that they have to resort to telling...which is fine, sometimes. This is an instance where telling is just mega redundant since she says the same exact thing probably 10 more times in the episode. I wish they’d have just kept the first part of the reflection or focused more on that—how Nathan talking about it...makes it feel fresh and raw again in a way she didn’t expect.

Anyway, Elizabeth writing that she’s been “left to reflect, once more, on the senseless accident that took [Jack’s] life” is ridiculous. Senseless? He was in charge of the training mission, but unless I’m losing every last marble I’ve ever had, wasn’t it Jack’s choice to go after the younger recruits who had been separated? Wasn’t it thanks to Jack’s quick thinking and intervention that only one person lost his life that day (Jack himself)? 

This is where the whole “Jack died heroically” thing kind of matters, actually. Especially when you butt it up against Nathan being the original person intended to go. Would he have risked his life like that? We’ll never know, but I’m sure Nathan thinks about it a lot, and it’s not something that should be left out of this story.

It’s valid for Elizabeth to wonder why Nathan kept the Secret hidden from her for almost three years, but what is really troublesome is the weird shift she seems to have between Casual Curiosity and Stricken Grief about it.

I grew tired of mopey Elizabeth in S4 and 5, so I’m not happy to see her back. Fewer eye drops, please. -_-

Anyway, it almost felt like a breakthrough when Elizabeth asked Rosemary why she thought Nathan took so long to tell her about Fort Clay, but Rosemary’s response was so bad. “He didn’t think it was important enough.” WHAT? WHO WOULD SAY THAT? Rosemary can be a bit thick-headed but that was almost too contrived for me to willingly follow. Anyone with a brain would realize it was IMPORTANT and THAT WAS WHY IT WAS A SECRET.

And when Elizabeth’s like, “Not important enough?” BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY IT IS IMPORTANT... Rosemary just tells her that Jack’s death wasn’t Nathan’s fault.

Which. She’s right. But that doesn’t make the secret unimportant. It’s still kind of a big deal. He’s confessed to being in love with Elizabeth multiple times now. Even Rosemary can’t be so dumb that she doesn’t realize that the connection between Jack’s death and Nathan is...meaningful, especially to Elizabeth. And that Nathan knew this and couldn’t bring himself to tell her because he knew it would hurt her.

Anyway, I’m doing my best to give Elizabeth a bit of grace here, because she’s just so self-centered I almost can’t stand it. To be clear, Elizabeth has ALWAYS BEEN LIKE THIS. It’s just that usually the issues at hand aren’t about her, they’re about someone else. 

Rosemary’s right but what she said was straight-up stupid. I don’t know, I don’t think the characters are out of character so much as the dialogue just didn’t flow very naturally and I felt like the characters were making assumption jumps to force certain responses. If Elizabeth can’t agree with Rosemary that Jack’s death isn’t Nathan’s fault, then she should have expressed that a bit more directly so that Rosemary could draw the conclusion that Elizabeth does feel it’s Nathan’s fault. It came across like Rosemary was speaking to the audience more than to Elizabeth, and I didn’t like it.

--

The most delightful scene in the entire episode has to go to Allie and Lucas. That was so cute and wholesome and good. Her asking if she could sit at the bar, him offering her a treat, her trying to return the gift ‘cause she felt caught in the middle and like it wasn’t fair to accept it... SO GOOD. They remembered the gift multiple episodes later AND incorporated it into this episode flawlessly. LOVED IT. 

Also, she asked an important question. LUCAS...where DO YOU LIVE?!

His story was a bit silly but I actually enjoyed it. It gives him a more playful vibe and also I think was almost entirely to ensure that Allie felt more comfortable and less anxious about what was happening around her. It was also his way of reassuring her that him courting Elizabeth wasn’t going to take Elizabeth out of Allie’s life...and that things will be okay.

I enjoyed it.

Things were a bit awkward with Elizabeth and Allie but they felt...better than before, so I felt like the conversation helped.

--

Lucas calling Allie “Allie Grant” was nice now that her adoption is official! I appreciate that.

Elizabeth and Lucas talk about how Lucas told Allie he’ll “work things out” with Nathan and Elizabeth definitely doesn’t appreciate it, and with somewhat good reason: she doesn’t like being caught in the middle of things any more than Allie does.

The thing is...she has had the power...all this time...to tell Nathan straight-up to leave her alone/that she isn’t interested. I stand by what I said before, that she shouldn’t have to tell him no for him to respect the boundaries she’s set, but if he’s not respecting those boundaries she needs to be firm about it.

I like how Lucas comes off in this scene. He wants to understand, he listens, he’s patient, he doesn’t push. I’m here for it.

She tells him what Nathan told her and he seems a bit overwhelmed by it, too. It’s pretty clear that he realizes she must be feeling all kinds of things after finding that out, especially after all this time. 

Again, for the second time, Elizabeth doesn’t seem all that grief-stricken about the secret being kept from her for so long: she tells Lucas she just doesn’t understand how he could keep it from her. 

He asks permission to suss out an answer and Elizabeth politely declines and says she’ll ask herself, but to please forgive her, she needs some time to...think.

She watches Lucas go and then...touches her wedding band.

-

Nathan meets Rosemary in the library and goes on a long boring monologue about how he’s read like, three whole books that women wrote, but still doesn’t understand women. No shit, sherlock. That was terrible writing...just straight up bad writing.

But I’m not exactly surprised because the very next thing that happens is that Rosemary tells Nathan...she’s been in his eXACT position before!

No...you have not. Yes, you were the unwanted third wheel, but that’s where the similarities ended, and you should have clarified. This just didn’t hit well for me, I don’t know. I don’t want to say it’s out of character, but...I don’t think Rosemary is this soft gentle personality anyway. I feel like she was always a bit more in your face with the things she said, not “try to encourage a manner of action in a very roundabout way” like she is in this episode. But again, without a logic jump from Rosemary, this scene doesn’t quite work.

I think I might have preferred Rosemary to play dumb and ask what specifically he didn’t understand about women. Make him freakin’ say it. And then she could react better. 

--

We get Love Confession #3 or whatever we’re on with Nathan, now. Let’s go over the entire scene.

Elizabeth walks into Nathan’s office and instantly asks him why it took him so long to tell her what happened.

He says he felt guilty and when she tells him she doesn’t understand, he goes on to say that after the accident he requested a transfer to Hope Valley. He never met Jack but he knew he’d left behind a wife and child, and felt it was his responsibility to look after them and protect them.

She asks why he would assume that, and he explains that he felt it was his duty. And that when he found himself falling in love with her, he felt like he was betraying Jack and his memory. That’s why he didn’t tell her.

He then takes it ONE STEP TOO FAR and says, “I fell in love with you, and I think that love is always worth fighting for.” 

Elizabeth says “Excuse me,” and leaves. Nathan’s face afterward is maybe a decent mix of “I probably shouldn’t have said that” and regret, but...woof.

Anyway, I was fine with this up to the point where Nathan said, completely unprompted, that love is always worth fighting for. How does he know? What are his experiences with love? Books he read, written by men??? PLEASE.

READ PRIDE & PREJUDICE U SWINE... ELIZABETH FALLS IN LOVE WITH MR. DARCY BECAUSE HE DECIDES HE WANTS TO CHANGE AND BE A BETTER MAN AND THEN DOES SOOOOOOOOO oh wait this is turning into an Elizabeth/Henry argument...OOPS?

Anyway, yeah. Not a fan of that line. It almost feels like there’s something missing. She’s standing in front of him about to cry because she feels hurt that he didn’t tell her this, you know, crucial information, and he’s just like “Yeah I didn’t tell u cause I love you and felt like i was betraying jack’s memory and also lol love is worth fighting for babe!” What kind of confusing mess of babble is this?

Honestly, it just left a bad taste in my mouth. :( I have so many really obnoxious opinions about Nathan and what they’ve done with him this season, but I feel like I should save them for a season summary podcast or something, just in case Hallmark ends up surprising me. Right now I just feel like they really just wanted to give him what the fans hated about him (he wasn’t passionate enough, not manly enough, not forward enough with his emotions, at least from what I read on Reddit and Instagram last year), but in like THE WORST POSSIBLE WAYS and for the wORST POSSIBLE REASONS in the VERY WORST SCENARIO.

I feared that would be Nathan’s reason for coming to town from the moment the character was announced and...I wanted to be wrong.

Anyway, I really liked his self-awareness up to that point. He never met Jack, which keeps some of the weirdness at bay. Also, he felt like he needed to make sure Jack’s family was okay, and that’s fine. I wouldn’t call it noble (as Rosemary later does), but it’s not exactly bad, either. Then we got the line of him admitting that it felt kind of bad to fall in love with her. I wish he’d gone on to say that wasn’t supposed to happen, or even given her a reason he loves her (so that it doesn’t feel like we’re just being told everything), because his line about love being worth fighting for right after he says he felt like he was betraying Jack’s memory by loving her...was...really strange??? Maybe a few sentences were edited out? 

--

Elizabeth tries to refuse to play Fiona’s blindfold game and LITERALLY NO ONE SAVES HER (though I think Rosemary considered trying). I hate the idea of this game solely based on the fact that several people participating shouldn’t even be there (Nathan, Bill, Mike, Fiona, Molly), but Elizabeth wouldn’t be able to accidentally choose Nathan if he wasn’t there, so... -_-

I think I might have actually liked this (her “no” with Carson was super cute actually, probably the cutest laugh she’s ever had on this show) if she’d had the chance to reject a few more guys on the way down the line. If she was closer to the end of the line she’d feel her options were running out and might second-guess herself. Having Nathan be the second person she touches and having her choose is...eh.

Nitpicks aside (their hands wouldn’t feel the same and she held Lucas’s hand quite recently actually), it could have been worse. At least she stated who she was searching for...

BUT UGH THE EMBARRASSMENT.

The thing that gets me about the whole scene is 100% that everyone in town would know about the Triangle drama, so it feels...weird to see everyone so gung-ho to watch this happen... I don’t know... I like having fun too, but NOBODY even TRIED to step in??? 

At least Lucas found some humor in it right away (he smiles). 

I think I wish someone had said something. Maybe Nathan could have said, “Nope, sorry” to lighten the mood a bit? Or Lucas could have said, “Almost!” since he was standing right next to Nathan?

--

Anyway, we’re spared having to wait because the very next scene is Lucas checking on Elizabeth and laughing about her choice.

One line I wish they’d added in is that someone else got it wrong. Imagine if Lucas said, “At least you didn’t pick Bill like Clara did!” Or even just made a joke about it in general like: “Of course I’m not upset. But if you would have picked Bill I might be a little hurt. My hands aren’t that old yet.”

Elizabeth tells him that she spoke to Nathan about the whole...thing and it was awkward. She chooses to not tell Lucas the rest of the reason Nathan gave, but instead only admits that he told her he loves her again. When Lucas asks what she said in response she said she didn’t say anything.

Lucas seems...a trifle upset at this, and understandably so. I think he can sense she’s...not really a sure thing and is worried about it. :( I feel so bad for him right now.

--

Rosemary stops by to see Elizabeth after Lucas leaves, and tells her she ran into Nathan at the library yesterday. Elizabeth tells her what Nathan said in his office and Rosemary says it was noble and selfless of him.

(I mean...it wasn’t selfless. Like at all.)

Elizabeth says she never asked him to be noble. She didn’t ask him to fall in love with her, either.

She asks Rosemary if she encouraged Nathan’s feelings for her at the library. Rosemary says no, but Elizabeth asks again and she interrupts her to ask Elizabeth if she’d rather hear what she actually said or just assume.

Rosemary goes on to say that she just wants what’s best for Elizabeth.

And we get Elizabeth asking how anyone would know what was best for her.

I mean, that’s like 90% on you for not communicating with your friends, but also, it’s 100% on you for just assuming you knew what Rosemary said to Nathan. I think she’s just looking for a reason why Nathan is being so persistent and in her mind encouragement from someone else is the only thing that makes sense, ‘cause she sure as heck hasn’t been encouraging him herself!

This hurts Rosemary’s feelings, probably because she was about to say that she wants what’s best for Elizabeth so she asked Nathan to stop getting in the way lol, and says maybe she should leave (since Elizabeth is in a bad mood). Elizabeth agrees she should go.

End episode. On this note. Woof.

Overall it wasn’t too bad I guess? But I’m not a fan of how some of this was written. It really felt like they cut lines out to make the episode shorter, when...they could have cut out one of the boring side plots. You know. The entire thing with Jesse and Clara, for example. 

--

The Wedding Planning/Party

I admit that I got a little enjoyment out of Florence saying no to all the dresses. Highly relatable. 

Then, at the barbershop, Fiona says the exact wORST possible thing about Florence wanting a hairstyle that’ll “knock Ned dead” FLHDSFAJDSA.

Florence goes on to say she wants anything but “ordinary Florence” and Molly steps in.

Honestly, I wish they’d just let Molly stick to being Florence’s BFF because that’s the role she plays best. Also, I’m almost sad Florence and Ned got together because it means #teamflomo is no mo’. :(

Paul shows up...

I don’t know what I expected but this boy would have been a literal BABY in season one, which makes the whole thing with Florence almost sadder AND it gives Florence more in common with Elizabeth (widow with a young child) BUT I HAVE OPINIONS.

I know what you’re thinking. “Manna, you always have opinions!” Yes, you’d be right. 

They based this off of ONE (1) line of dialogue that Florence had in S1 when something was stolen from her house. She says, “while my child slept nearby” or something like that.

They brought a child in...for that? On one hand...I’m impressed.

On the other hand, I kind of had just assumed they’d retconned that and that Florence had no children (which is why she was always goofing off gossiping with Molly) so I don’t really know how to feel about the whole thing.

Rosaleen starred in an episode and never showed up again after S1, so I think I’d have preferred to see her return instead of a child we literally never laid eyes on. But he’s a cutie. And he’s named after his father just like little Jack so...I’ll take it!

--

The party begins and we have to do “the men are stupid and don’t know how to plan” again which is really annoying. The highlight of this entire thing was Ned saying (about his hairline) that he’s been driving with the top down since his 30s. I respect you AND ONLY YOU, Ned.

--

The party continues on and they play charades. Rosemary chose weird awful options that don’t make any sense and are hard to act out. Ned’s could have been funny but the one Bill got is just...so weird.

The funniest part about it is looking at everyone staring at Molly as she guesses it.

I think it was supposed to be...cute? Or something? It was just really weird for me.

“Cuddle up a little Closer, Lovey Mine” (yes, it’s “lovey” not “lovely”) was written and recorded in 1908. You can listen to it here. Lyrics here.

They then play the Most Awkward Game Ever, one that would have had me sweating bullets if I’d had to play it. Florence has to find her man by only holding the hands of the other men.

As Fiona says, it’s a bit...risqué, but Florence rejects Jesse quickly and finds out the second man is Bill by squeezing his hands too hard.

Bill explains that his arthritis is flaring up and of course Sara and I jumped on that almost at the same moment:

We like Bill. :P

And then Florence correctly guesses that the next man is Ned. It’s very wholesome and sweet.

But then it’s Elizabeth’s turn because I guess she’s not been traumatized enough this episode. I covered that in the triangle part of the plot, though.

--

The New & Improved Henry Gowen

We start off with a BANG here with Henry and Christopher. Christopher misses Rachel because he’s a twitterpated little FOOL and he tells Henry all about it...while Henry sees Bill tearing apart the stolen car in the distance.

He asks Christopher how he got to Hope Valley from Hamilton and Christopher just straight up comes clean about it: he drove a stolen car that his buddy stole. 

Henry scolds him a bit, tells him he can’t borrow a stolen car, and explains that he doesn’t want Christopher to end up like him. Christopher seems kind of surprised by this and says, “You turned out good.” 

To which Henry replies, “The jury’s still out on that.” 

Christopher says he’s done with that kind of thing, and Henry tells him he believes him.

Honestly, Henry’s “I believe you” got to me. It sounded SO genuine. And also, can I say YET AGAIN that this kid was an impeccable choice to play Henry’s son? WOW. I can’t get over how much alike they are even in mannerisms and looks.

But THEN when Henry tries to say Rachel has something to do with Christopher being done with that old lifestyle, Christopher tells him “And you” AND I ALMOST LOST IT. SOOOOO GOOD. Henry goes on to explain that “long after” he divorced Christopher’s mom, he met Abigail, who saw the potential for goodness in him. And that he can’t help Christopher be a better man because he’s still figuring that out for himself, but if he thinks Rachel can help him, he should do what he can to not lose her.

--

Later, Henry invites Christopher to Ned’s party and Christopher declines but asks what happened to the woman Henry mentioned earlier—Abigail, of course. Henry says she left town to help her mother.

Is this a...hint of things to come? I’m...not sure.

Henry sits down for two seconds before Lucas asks to speak with him outside. Once there, Lucas admits that he contacted Christopher. This is one of the most contrived plotlines we’ve had in a bit, if only because I just can’t figure out how Lucas would have known who Christopher was, let alone whether or not he would be useful? He doesn’t even have the same last name... I mean, what, did Henry write in sparkly gel pens or something? 

But for some reason he contacted Christopher to come work for Henry to keep an eye on him. He’s not proud of having done it, which makes sense. I guess I wouldn’t be either.

Henry’s upset about it. Lucas tells Henry that he took advantage of him and that he had to make sure Henry could be trusted.

Christopher doesn’t know that Lucas told him, though, and Henry asks that Lucas keep it that way.

It makes Christopher’s behavior with Lucas make more sense (when he kept trying to push him around earlier this season), but the timing is just...awful? Maybe talking to Elizabeth about Nathan’s secret made him feel guilty about his own? I’d buy into it more if I felt like there was a really compelling reason for Lucas to feel that Christopher would do any good...but it’s just too contrived for me.

--

Christopher randomly decides to go to Bellingham to see Rachel. Henry tells him not to make trouble if her parents ask him to leave. Henry makes to leave, and Christopher stops him.

I CANNOT SING THE PRAISES OF THIS SCENE ENOUGH. Christopher tries to tell Henry about the thing with Lucas and Henry’s like...you’re different now, you’re starting over it doesn’t matter anymore!!!! Everyone deserves a second chance!

AND THEY HUG AND CHRISTOPHER TELLS HENRY HE LOVES HIM.

They almost got me to cry. ALMOST. I refuse to cry at this show because I refuse to give Brian Bird the satisfaction, but boy oh boy was this close.

Henry responds with a “me too” and makes Christopher promise to write. Then the stage leaves and that is that.

The rest of the storyline for Henry is under the car investigation. They’re related but...only intertwine at the very end so I separated them. ;)

--

Miscellaneous (Car Investigation, Pastor Position/Jesse and Clara, Carson and Faith, Mike and Fiona)

Car investigation: Nathan starts this episode off on the wrong foot. I think that was...a mistake. THAT SAID...I’m relieved Bill isn’t being written as a complaining whiny pile of trash for once, so I just want to say that...they had to realize after last episode the fan opinion of Nathan would be...not great, so mayyybe they shouldn’t have started this episode off with him literally complaining about doing his job...while he’s in uniform no less. Also he has NO PASSION at all for his job, or for investigating, which I hope means he’ll end up quitting the Mounties. (It could be a hint of things to come...I hope.) 

I mean, does he think Bill got his position for...no reason? Also, thank God Nathan turned down the promotion to Inspector if that was how he was gonna treat actually doing the work?? I’m pretty sure this is their idea of “humor” but boy did it fall flat after the love triangle mess that’s been going on.

The owner talks to Nathan on the phone later and is coming from Hamilton to get his car. Nathan seems to be telling Bill this to discourage him from wasting his time investigating, but Bill doesn’t want to stop lol.

Ned’s comment from the party about his hairline being him “driving with the top down” gives Bill an Idea in the middle of the bachelor party and leaves. Ned looks shook that he produced An Idea.

And follows. Ned is absolutely adorable as he assists Bill. They should interact more?? Long story short, Bill figures out that the top was probably up when it was being transported to Hope Valley (as you wouldn’t want people getting a good look at your face if they’re looking for a stolen car), and finds a footprint in the removable top.

The next day, Bill approaches Henry up at the oil derricks and comments on the fact that Lucas told him that Christopher checked out of his room at the saloon. Henry is up front and honest about where Christopher went, and says he went to Bellingham to see Rachel Thom.

He says, “You know how it is. You love someone, you’d do anything for them.”

The one interesting thing about this comment is that...no, Bill does NOT know. He’s never admitted to being in love in his life. He married Nora, but that was out of obligation (something he makes clear several times). Like, he obviously cared about Nora, but he wasn’t in love with her.

Obviously he’s loved someone enough to do anything for them (his son), but considering he’s dead, and possibly died in a really traumatizing way considering how it’s portrayed, that seems a bit...insensitive. :P

Bill counters it with, “Almost anything, maybe.” 

He then goes on to tell Henry he found a footprint in the stolen car.

And he just. Kind of. Gives Henry. A look. Because he knows exactly who stole the car, he just has to prove it.

Henry stops Bill and says: “A while back I remarked about how you had never solved the mine disaster. Perhaps if you and I get together, I might be able to help.”

Bill doesn’t say a THING...he just leaves. But he looks kind of...put off by the whole thing.

Like he knows what Henry is doing.

Do you know what Henry is doing?

Anything.

For someone he loves.

(Pst. That someone is Christopher.)

As soon as Bill is gone, he picks up a pair of shoes and throws them into the fire.

I think it’s pretty clear that Henry is using this mine disaster thing to protect Christopher, and he’s doing it for this reason WAY MORE than he’s doing it to come clean and be a better man. That’s just my theory, though. I think if Bill hadn’t found anything out about the car, then Henry wouldn’t have brought it up.

But I guess he knows something. The question is...what? And also, when did he mention Bill never having solved the mine disaster? I’m really struggling to remember Henry ever saying that to him, at least not recently. Does anyone recall offhand?

Anyway, I’m wondering if they’ll tie up that whole thing about Noah and Peter that was never addressed on the show to the fullest. You know, the whole thing with them going into the mine knowing it wasn’t safe and not warning anyone. I think a lot of people who watch this show have never been in poverty or lived paycheck to paycheck, but sometimes a person just has to put their head down and keep working even when it’s not safe, because they have to keep living. Or because they had more time to put a stop to things before anything bad happened.

I think blaming Noah and Peter as much as Henry is pretty stupid, but they still shoulder some blame. They were working to fix that problem. Henry wasn’t. He did what he was told and shut up. But maybe there’s a bit more to that story. Could be interesting.

Could also be the worst reveal ever, so...who knows? I’m curious to find out.

BUT ALSO what do they mean Bill didn’t solve that case? The widows sued and won. Sure, he got beat up in S1 carrying evidence out of the mine, but it’s not as if there wasn’t a lot more of it inside the mine, too. Everyone knows the fault of the collapse was due to working conditions being unsafe. What’s left to solve? Is Henry going to give Bill the names of the people who told Henry to keep his mouth shut? 

Or...are they talking NOT ABOUT THE HOPE VALLEY MINE DISASTER, but the original one that sent Henry to Coal Valley (and Nora into a marriage with Bill)? Because that one was not solved. The company just made Henry a scapegoat in that case.

THE WAIT TO FIND OUT MORE IS GOING TO BE TORTURE.

--

Pastor Position/Jesse and Clara + Cafe: I enjoyed Minnie in this episode and seeing her step in and help Clara and become part of the town was great. Jesse giving more credit to Joseph than Lee was pretty funny, and a nice set-up for Lee realizing that Joseph is a pastor. Lee is apparently head of the search committee to find a new pastor...which...sure...okay. Also apparently the newspaper died?? Uh.

I’m kind of hoping Rosemary’s new passion will be the newspaper since she’s supposedly going to dig her nose into things next episode and she used to write a column for the old paper (so she has some experience). Thoughts on that?

Anyway, Joseph agrees to pastor the church instantly the second Lee asks...so it feels weird that his original goal/plans/whatever just...don’t matter anymore? Okay.

They buy a bell.................WHICH BRINGS ME TO MY BIGGEST PETTY COMPLAINT OF THE EPISODE. BRO THAT BELL STRAIGHT UP LOOKS 3D PRINTED FJLKDSAHFLDSAHFLDSAHFKLDSA

Anyway I’m teasing. The Liberty Bell weighs a little over one ton, and two horses could easily pull that.

No complaints. My husband complained last week that there wasn’t a bell and now there is. It’s like he knew. 

Joseph talks about what a “calling” feels like (I think this will come back again with Rosemary which has me VERY HAPPY): a tug on his heart.

Joseph also tells Lee that the men in his yard earlier were surveyors and that he won’t move, at least not far, because he has a congregation to lead, now. Makes me wonder if he’ll actually sell!

Anyway, Jesse and Mike are cute pals and decide to have a snack in the cafe while the gals are socializing with Rosemary (who has just returned from the library).

Rosemary’s books are on land acquisitions, surveying, and territorial law. 

Minnie and Rosemary decide to talk about this while Clara leaves. Why? I’m not sure. Maybe just ‘cause it was boring lol.

She gets back as Mike and Jesse are talking about, uh, her, actually, and Mike asks if all is quiet on the homefront.

Yes, it is. Unlike the trenches of WWI.

But seriously I thought it could be a joke reference to “All Quiet on the Western Front”...a WWI novel. Since...you know...WWI is going on and hasn’t been acknowledged at all even though it’s almost over now.

Joke’s on me, though...that’s too advanced for Hallmark.

Anyway it’s only quiet for like two seconds, because Clara busts in, thinks they’re eating the food she’s been busting her ass over for the party, and yells at Jesse. It makes everything awkward. Jesse simpers about like a sad little clown instead of trying to be understanding. Yawn. Awful. Bye.

I don’t know what would fix that scene, but I think part of the problem is...I’m just not invested in Clara and Jesse anymore. It’s perfectly reasonable to expect them to need more time to get over the problems in their relationship but I don’t care about them enough to care about the journey...if that makes sense. I’d rather watch Bill dust for prints on the car some more.

They do have a chat, and work things out, so that’s good I guess.

--

Carson and Faith: Carson has officially stolen the dock from Abigail and Frank, and so my hatred for them doubled instantly.

Me, a territorial loon: THAT SPOT IS NOT YOURS!!!!! FIND YOUR OWN!!!

Anyway Carson makes things awkward and then busts out that he accepted the fellowship without talking to Faith.

She’s kind of hurt by this?? UNDERSTANDABLY?? But then he asks if it would have made a difference. I mean, common courtesy would be at least sitting down like this and telling her, “I’ve decided to accept it.” But no. He just. Accepted it without telling her he was going to. Bro...

They aren’t on the same page for even two seconds. He tells her he was committed to the relationship and put all his plans aside so that she could be happy.

Honestly, as much hate as Nathan’s getting right now, if people gave a damn about Faith I think Carson would be getting his fair share of hate, too. What a jerk???

He goes on to say it wasn’t a waste of his time (when she asks), but never bothers to tell her more or to prove he didn’t feel that way (BECAUSE HE SURE ACTS LIKE IT WAS A WASTE OF HIS TIME). He just says he hopes she changes her mind and comes with him to Baltimore.

At the party Carson and Faith go outside to talk where Carson admits that he should have told her he was accepting the fellowship before he wrote. She tells him that the year she was gone was almost too much time apart for her, and Carson promises to write her and tells her she can visit him, too, but she brings the conversation back to reality. They’ll both be super busy. 

He suggests they get married, and then immediately says he’s not asking (it’s not how he’d propose), but that they could look forward to getting married. (Good thing they laughed ‘cause I sure wasn’t. It was super awkward...) He suggests seeing how they feel in about a year. (Oh...perfect timing for...next season...hm.)

Faith tells him she loves him and wants what’s best for both of them, even if that thing isn’t them being together. They agree to just enjoy the night and worry about the rest later.

Anyway, I feel like these two just have NO chemistry (they’re worse than Bill and Molly in my books). I really appreciate the attempt to give them meaningful material, and I like that Carson has a passion again, but boy oh boy are these two hard to watch. The plotline is really good, but the characters just...aren’t great. I figured if anything they’d give a plot like this to AJ and Bill to tie that up (some kind of conflicting reason she can’t stay in Hope Valley to be written off the show for good) so I was surprised to see it going to Carson and Faith instead, but like...in a good way because it’s actually compelling for their situation! I've been in a similar situation and it feels REALLY BAD to like someone a lot but not be ready or willing to commit to an extreme for whatever reason. Faith doesn’t want to go to Baltimore because she loves Hope Valley and she undoubtedly doesn’t want to see it go without a doctor at all. Carson likes Hope Valley but his passion is in surgery and he can make a huge difference in a big hospital. He could still make a difference in Hope Valley, too (undoubted he’s the only surgeon for many miles around these smaller towns) but he also likes hospitals and their equipment and maybe misses what he had a long time ago.

So it’s a great plot. It’s compelling. It’s even a bit tragic when you think about it!

But my God do these characters just...not come off as convincing. :(

--

Mike and Fiona: The scene with Ned was SUPER cute. Genuinely funny. Mike asking Fiona out. Everyone teasing Mike about how much he likes her. It’s very cute and wholesome. So far I enjoy it a lot. There’s not a lot to talk about here but I like that it’s...simple.

I MEAN...she’s so cute.

--

END THOUGHTS:

I want the next three episodes right now immediately, but I’m also going to be pretty sad when this season ends...I think.

The biggest speculation from this episode, by the way, is that they’re opening things up to write Abigail back onto the show. How do we feel about that? 

Any other thoughts? Favorite scenes? Share!

[reggies-eyeliner]

Breathe - (Platonic) Alex x stressed out!reader

Summary: (Female Reader, but feel free to request for any and every other gender!) Y/N feels more stressed than usual, trying to balance home life and school life, and her coping skills aren’t going very... well. She gets a little help from a special someone who guides her and helps her live in the present moment.

Warnings: Anxiety, stress, school, cursing, what more can I say? Also the gays because Willie and Alex own my heart lmao

Word count: 1.9k

Requested: Yes! By anon :)

~

Whenever Y/N tried to get an assignment done, it went a little something like this: first she tried to get everything done by creating a small basis of a tool list. She was still feeling bloated, tired, hot, and sticky, but she went with it and continued to waste 10 minutes on making her to-do list aesthetically pleasing. After that, she thought, “Hmm... maybe I do want to take a break,” but she doesn’t anyway, so Y/N gets out her assignments, lays them all out, and just as she’s about to get started: hey, I wonder how many people can relate to me on xyz, and then she’d get distracted on social media.

Y/N would spend an entire 40 minutes on her phone before she remembers, “MY ASSIGNMENT IS DUE,” so she flips it back out, gets started, but can’t seem to get that guilty feeling of not doing her work out of her head, so she slightly uses that as an excuse to take a break. Only, she don’t take a break and end up rolling out of her chair and going on her phone again, and she still feel just as (or even more) exhausted. Then that’s when the guilt really starts seeping in, and Y/N realizes that she has another extra-curricular class so she gets ready for that, but by the time she’s done, there’s only 30 minutes before the due date-- so she start crying and gives up.

And that’s just a short summary of it.

It was dawning the last few weeks of exam months, and Y/N had been cramming all of her assignments over and over again, constantly getting burnt out and not moving up from her seat, even though she wanted to. It was as if she was glued to her chair, unable to move and constantly on the go at the same time. The stress of having to deal with so many things at once was one of the most overwhelming things that she’s ever had to experience, even though she knows those feelings come-and-go at times--- but this, this was so much worse than what she ever thought. And she believed that she was in literal hell.

There was a constant feeling of “I need to do this, I need to do that,” but it wasn’t that she didn’t want to do it-- it was that she physically couldn’t. Y/N knew that she couldn’t blame her brain for not doing the assignments, but sometimes, she felt like she had to. All the time. The constant feeling of overwhelming stress finally got to her when she opened up her classroom page to find yet another technical issue and the entire page crashed, leaving her with a due date within 10 minutes. It was currently a quarter before midnight, and she had been living on caffeine pills and sugar for the past week or so.

“𝟓𝟎𝟐 𝐁𝐚𝐝 𝐆𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐰𝐚𝐲.”

The assignment was due in less than 20 minutes, and now everything was going wrong. Great.

If I had only not gone on my phone... why did I go on my phone for so long? I should have just stayed put, I can’t believe myself, what am I even doing? This isn’t fair, this isn’t far, but is it fair? I did deserve this, but-- I also feel like I don’t, I worked so hard to get here, but what if I lose it? What will everyone think? No, no, this can’t be happening. I fucked up again. Oh no. No. No.

The thoughts came in like a raging, wild waterfall that was out of control and poured out, overflowing in her brain that pooled her thoughts, with tears that eventually spilled over. In the dorms nearby, Y/N could hear Reggie snoring sound-asleep in this room. Everyone in the band was still asleep like nothing was wrong, and overall, it just... wasn’t fair. How come they were sleeping? Why did they get all of that rest, while you were stuck on this stupid assignment that literally meant nothing to you-?

In frustration, Y/N suddenly wasn’t sure how she was supposed to react. She felt like she couldn’t cry-- more like she wasn’t allowed to cry. Her problems weren’t as bad as other peoples’, so why on Earth was she stressing out? It wasn’t her issue, why was everything always going wrong for her? No matter what she ever did, she always seemed to lose. Y/N pulled her hair and threw the nearest thing onto the floor in the darkness of teh night, when she heard a high-pitched echo from the sound, when she realized she had just smashed her laptop onto the tiled floor.

“Shit-” Y/N cursed under her breath and instantly ran over, her entire body and hands trembling over the cracked screen. In hopes of some sort of miracle, she turned the power button on, because maybe, just maybe it could turn on.

One second.

Two seconds.

Three seconds.

Nothing happened, nothing turned on, and in that moment, Y/N wanted to scream. She wanted to scream because she had so much pent-up frustration and anger, she wanted to scream because no one ever seemed to check in on her, she wanted to scream because she had worked so hard to try her best but every single time nothing ever went well for her. Her head was pounding and her eyes felt like they were being weighed down by boulders.

But she took a deep breath and staggered over to her desk to turn on the lights, and-- wait, why was everything spinning? That’s weird, that’s never happened in the room before. Why is that moon upside-down? What’s going on...

~

“Y/N!” a loudly-whispered voice rang.

Y/N groaned, mumbling under her breath and rolled over. Everything sounded like she was underwater, a weird, gurgling sound. Y/N assumed she was dreaming, so she pulled her hoodie over her head and slumped back.

“Y/N,” the voice exclaimed in a hushed tone.

Another mumble. Couldn’t that voice tell that she was trying to sleep?

“Hey, hey, wake up,” the voice continued. Y/N didn’t respond and groaned slightly. “Y/N?” a little... gentler this time? A softer tone? Who...

Suddenly, nothing sounded weird and the low hum of the heaters powered back on as Y/N tried her best to open an eye. She could tell by the faint smell of rain and cinnamon that she was still in her dorm, but who was there? They sounded gentle, sweeter, more... cautious?

“Hey, Y/N, you awake?”

She rubbed her eyes. “Al-” Y/N choked, launching into a coughing fit. “Alex?”

He laughed slightly. “That’s right. Good to know you’re brain is working,”

Working? Brain? Good?

Oh shit.

Y/N immediately stood up, staggering from moving so quickly and mumbled, “I-I need to finish my assignment, it’s almost, it’s almost done-”

“Woah, woah, slow down, y-you need to get some air,” Alex said, hoisting her by the shoulders with his hands.

“I don’ need air, I needa ‘inish the assignment, it’s due in-” she slurred, but turned into a panicked gasp when she whipped around, asking, “Alex, what time is it?”

“Y/N,” he said gently. “that’s not important, you just passed out, you need-”

“No, no, no, no!” she said, mumbling slightly. “Is-- is my laptop still working? Is it still-”

“Hey, I need you to breathe-”

“Alex, can’t you see that I can’t? I have so many things to do, and they’re all due so soon-- if I don’t ace this, if I can’t finish this music piece and somehow get all this shitty math stuff correct, I need to work hard. I need to be productive. I-”

Alex’s face suddenly softened and he nodded, letting her speak more.

“I also really, really need to get this done! If I don’t get it done, I can’t pass this class with you guys, which means that I can’t get a decent degree, and I also can’t do anything without the constant guilt that you guys moved on without me! I want to, I want to relax, I want to breathe, I want to just stay in someone’s arms forever and they’ll tell me that I’ll be fine-”

In those seconds, in-between her times of rambling, Y/N barely noticed that Alex had pulled her outside to the rooftop (which wasn’t very high) and wrapped his arms around, pulling her into the softest hug.

She stopped mid ramble. “Wh-what... what are you doing?” she choked.

“It’s going to be okay,” Alex said slowly, almost as if he were testing the words out.

“S-say... say that-t... again,” Y/N trembled.

“It’s going to be okay. I need you to breathe, is that alright with you?”

It was almost as if Alex had become an entirely different person as he slowly let go of her, then he grabbed onto her shoulders and said, “breathe with me.”

“Inhale,”

1…

2…

3…

“Hold for four seconds,”

1…

2…

3…

4…

“Exhale for five,”

1…

2…

3…

4…

5…

Y/N breathed in and out as they both continued to do that for what seemed like 10 times. Alex also seemed like someone new, not the same out-of-sort and confused guy, but he didn’t seem like a teacher either… like an older brother, someone who guided her no matter what.

“Where… who taught you that method?” Y/N asked, trying to stop her voice from trembling.

Alex immediately broke into a smile so wide that he had smile lines as he stared up into the sky. “Willie taught me,”

Y/N slightly smiled. “He did, huh?”

“Yeah, he’s… he’s pretty beautiful,” he continued to nod with that same old dorky expression.

“Beautiful, huh?” she said, trying to match his tone.

“I mean-- uh, pretty good. At that.” Almost instantly, Alex flushed and changed the topic. “A-are… are you feeling better now?”

“Definitely a lot better than before, but... how did you know you had to do that?”

“W-well, when I saw you rambling, I saw myself, so...” Alex shrugged slightly, his eyes undoubtedly playing along the slightest bit. “And since I never really... well, had parents to comfort me while growing up, and Willie was the first to help me, I assumed that you’d might need some help, too.”

Y/N couldn’t believe her ears. How could there be such a sweet, loving, kind and gentle person right in front of her? His smile was genuine as he nodded slowly again.

Y/N grinned gratefully, shifting her weight from toe-to-toe. “Thank you so, so much, but I- I’m just a bit stressed about my laptop, and…”

“Hey, hey, hey,” Alex stopped her before she could continue. “Don’t get caught up in your thoughts (he learned this quote from Willie), just take another deep breath and your head will be clearer. It’ll-- It’ll sort things out. Listen, we can always go to the counselor, she’s on her night shift right now. We can see if we’re allowed to borrow the school’s laptop for now, how does that sound?”

“I…” you nodded. “Thank you… so much, Alex.”

He turned his head and smiled back. “You never have to thank me for anything,” he turned his heel and waved. “Come on, let’s get you cleaned up!”

[swiss-cheeze]

(The Candyman Can) Rainbow Connection || Spencer Reid

Request: YES/NO // a part 2 was requested but I was going to do a part 2 anyway so, yeah. (@l0ve-0f-my-life)

Gender: none, they/them // I don’t believe there is any description, I tried to keep it nonchalant, the Sunflower song may be slightly suggestive because it’s sung by a female and have the aspects of femininity but overall is a non-gender affirming song.

Warnings: uhhh, slow burn, awkwardness? I honestly don’t know SEASON 8 SPOILERS, very long; seven pages on google doc lmao

Description: ten months after Maeves death you’re still singing for Spencer to help him cope, what happens when Garcia’s Dia De Muertos party brings to light your feelings?

Part 1: https://snitchthewitch.tumblr.com/post/621248749527760896/the-candyman-can-spencer-reid

Songs used:

It’s My Life - Bon Jovi

Hey There Delilah - Plain White T’s

Sunflower - Sierra Burgess

Rainbow Connection - The Muppets

———

Ten months.

It had been ten months since Maeve had left, ten months since a part of Spencer felt broken, crumpled and gone.

Ten months since you entered his life in a different way then he would ever think.

After your singing sessions things started to look better, brighter, lighter and happier.

Currently yourself and Spencer were jamming out in his apartment to It's My Life.

“It's my life! And it's now or never!” you screamed and jumped on the couch, Spencer followed you with a laugh and shouted at the top of his lungs.

“'Cause I ain't gonna live forever, I just want to live while I'm alive” Spencer sang, you grinned as you hoped down from the couch, grabbed his hands and started dancing.

“My heart is like an open highway, like Frankie said, ‘i did it my way’!” you grinned as Spencer spun you around and stepped onto the coffee table.

“I just want to live while I'm alive,” Spencer sang as you hopped up and onto the table next to the Doctor.

“ITS, MY, LIFE!” you exclaimed together and posed on the table as if there was a crowd gathered and you had just danced your hearts out; which you did. Your breathing was heavy as you let out a large laugh and jogged over to the CD player to turn it down as the next song came on from your playlist, going from a room shattering volume to a whisper.

“Drink?” Spencer asked with heavy breaths as he pointed to the kitchen, you nodded as you held your back and sat on the couch, Spencer came back a moment later with two glasses of water and handed one to you as you sat in the blissful aftermath of a singing and dance off.

“Are you going to Garcias Day of the Dead party?” you asked after a moment, it wasn't very risky to ask but it was still touchy as you both knew the background to the question. Spencer nodded.

“Yeah, yeah I am, I'm meant to be helping her with groceries sometime, she said she’d message me when she was ready” Spencer smiled as he placed the empty cup on the table and laid back against the couch cushions, “who are you bringing?” Spencer hesitantly asked as you grinned.

“I can't tell you that Spence, it's cheating” you shook your head before putting your cup down on the table and opening your phone to look at the time; you were meant to be home 10 minutes ago, “shit, sorry Spence i gotta head,” you said as you quickly gathered your belongings.

“Do you have to leave?” Spencer asked, he sounded so sad that you needed to leave, you bit your lip as you opened the door.

“I’m sorry Spence, i do, i've um…” should you tell him? “I've got a date,” you said with a tight lipped smile. Spencer hoped his face didn't convey the emotions he felt and hoped you didn't notice his change in demeanor.

“Oh, yeah of course,” Spencer said tightly, “you head ill...ill clean up here,”

“Thanks Spence, i'll see you at work!” you said with a grin and waved the Doctor a goodbye. The retreating of your footsteps seemed to echo in the surrounding walls of Spencer's apartment and his mind, your smile was flashing in his and out of his head a thousand times over in bright flashes as the room suddenly felt rather lonely and cold without your presence in it anymore. Spencer looked around the room as he felt his shoulders sag, emotions came back to him as well as memories of Maeve, Tobias, Nathan and multiple other people who impacted his life in some way, in a way of his work and in a way that's personal.

Alex.

Of course!

Spencer scrambled for his phone and clicked on Blake's personal cell number. It rang three times before the woman's voice floated through.

“Ried? Is everything okay?” the worry in Blake's voice floated through the speakers as Spencer took a breath.

“I…” Spencer sighed softly and sniffled, god was he going to cry again? “I think im in love...again”

“Oh Spence,”

---

You smiled tightly as your date talked about...what was he talking about again?

“And that's how I found out my family was a part of the mafia group in the nineteen hundreds!” the date exclaimed, oh god had you forgotten his name already?

“Thats,” you gave a fake laugh as real as you could, “that's amazing Matt!” you said with a clap of your hands.

“My name’s Michael…” your date reminded you, you sighed and put your head in your hands with a groan.

“I'm sorry-”

“No it's...I can tell your head is somewhere else,” your date said with a smile, “did you want to talk about it?” he asked, you bit your lip before responding.

“One of my coworkers…” should you be telling a story that isn't yours to tell? “One of my coworkers lost someone close to them ten months ago,” you started the story, you can't stop now, “and to be a good friend I started to sing for him!” you said happily, using your hands to talk, “i started singing for him because it made me happy when i was a child and i thought it would cheer him up as well, in the end it did and it helped him get better and obviously he is better but...that was ten months ago,” you sighed, “Micheal it was ten months ago that he lost what could possibly be his only love and here i am...in love with him,”

“Oh doll,” Micheal said softly as he put his hand on top of yours, “what do you mean his only love?” the man asked, “just so i can get a better understanding and idea of the situation,” he smiled politely.

“Hes...he has an eidetic memory, can read 20,000 words a minute, he has 3 PhDs and 3 Bachelors, he doesn't get along well with women in the romance scene a lot of the time but he's just...he's just so smart and he's so lovely and kind and works well with everyone,” you took a breath as you wiped a tear from your eye you didn't realise had leaked, “he puts himself on the line all the time; he’s been shot in the knee, shot in the shoulder, he got kidnapped and drugged, poisoned with a worse strain of Anthrax then actual anthrax, he's such a good hostage speaker, he delves into every case with everything he has as if its his last which it could possibly be, he helped a young boy, Nathan Harris, when he believed he was going to become a serial killer an-”

“Woah woah woah baby slow down,” Micheal said as he looked to you, “you’re getting so worked up over this boy, i mean, he's just a boy,” Micheal said with a grin, “you sing for him don't you?”

“Yeah I do,” you absentmindedly smiled, “it's amazing, just today we sung It’s My Life before I came here,” you said with a large grin, the memory still fresh.

“Okay so, how about, instead, you lean it to more romantic songs? Slowly give him hints and open up to him more?” Micheal questioned, you never actually thought of that but as you mulled it over it sounded a lot better than any other plan you would have had brewed anway. You nodded.

“Thats...thats really good Micheal,” you said with a grin, “thank you,”

“It’s alright; if i can't be the one then i'll help you with him,” Micheal said with a joking grin. You ended the night with the waitress coming over to take your plates as you asked for the bill, split it, giving a lovely tip and Micheal driving you home. He planted a kiss on your cheek before handing you his number on a napkin, “for whenever and whatever you want or need,” he had said, you gave him a kiss on the cheek and a thank you before retreating into your house and mulling over the next few songs to sing for Spencer whenever he wanted.

---

A few days passed after your date and Spencers emotional outburst to Blake (which she kept to herself and Spencer of course), you had been given a case and hadn't had time to sing to Spencer; you could tell this was taking a little toll on the poor doctor as he became distracted easily as well as the far off gaze he had on his face a lot of the time now, however, the plane had just landed back in DC.

“Spence!” you called for the doctor, he turned for a moment and slowed his walking for you to catch up, “did you want me to call tonight?” you asked with a grin.

“Yes please (Y/n),” the doctor said, he seemed sad but also desperate.

“Are you alright?” you questioned as you stopped the doctor with your hand on his arm, “i'm here for you,”

“I’ll be alright after tonight (Y/n), it's okay,” and without another word Spencer left you, spoke to Hotch for a second and then headed out the door.

“Are you two okay?” Blake asked as she came up next to you.

“I think so, I think it’s just because we haven't had a lot of time recently for our normal sessions,” you said with a tight smile.

“He misses you (Y/n),” Blake said, “a lot more than you know,” the two of you dropped the subject pretty quickly after that as you walked to the parking lots and headed home, the road seemed to go in a blur as you drove, forming colours and paint strokes against the harsh greys of the DC city buildings.

---

Another few days passed and your singing sessions went back to normal, except this time you added more romantic songs, adding a more soft tone or even adding your uke like one of the first times you sang for Spencer, and right now you were finishing off Hey There Delilah.

“Hey there, Spencer,” you had changed the lyrics for the last ‘hey there’, you heard Spencer give off a little breathy laugh, “You be good, and don't you miss me, two more years and you'll be done with school,” you couldn't help but laugh slightly at the school part seeing as Spencer had...well you know what he’s got, “And I'll be makin' history like I do. You know it's all because of you…” you trailed the end of your sentence off slightly, “We can do whatever we want to…” you sighed softly, “hey there, Spencer, here’s to you,” you trailed off again as you felt tears well in your eyes as you spoke the last words instead of singing them, “This one's for you” and with that the song ended and you smiled into the phone, Spencer clapped loudly into the phone’s speaker.

“That was beautiful (Y/n)!” the doctor exclaimed with a smile, “I haven't heard that song before,” you laughed, of course he hadn't heard the song before.

“It's a classic but not the type of classic you know of,” you said with a smile as you heard Spencer laugh along with you too, “I’m sorry Spence but i have to get to bed,” you sounded so sad.

“Right, of course,” Spencer said as he finally glanced at the clock, god it was past 12 already? You'd been on a call together since 10, “goodnight (Y/n), i'll see you at Garcias tomorrow?” Spencer asked, shit. You'd forgotten about tomorrow completely.

“Y-yeah of course! I'll be there don't worry,” you smiled into the phone, “goodnight Spence” and with that you hung up the phone and got ready for bed. Spencer did the same in his apartment.

---

You smiled sweetly at Spencer as he placed Maeve's photo on the altar as everyone gave him a sympathetic look and then another person's photo.

“This is uh, Nikola Tesla,” he said, you couldn't help but smile, “i just hope he's still having fun inventing things wherever he is” Spencer said with the little smile and laugh he does every now and then as he stepped back from the alter; allowing you to place your photo. You gulped as you fiddled with the photographic paper.

“This uh,” you started, nobody actually knew who this was, you sniffled as Garcia held you hand and you smiled to her as thanks for the reassurance, you cleared your throat, “this is Gene Wilder,” you grinned as Spencer chuckled softly, of course it was him, “i don't uh, i don't really have any family that i'm close to that has passed but, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory has always been my childhood, it was always close to my heart and when the movie came out i fell in love with it even more and the more i watched it the more i felt Gene Wilder become apart of me, my family and my life.” you took a breath as you placed the photo onto the altar, it was of his iconic Willy Wonka pose, “of course he has become a meme icon,” you laughed as everyone did too, “but i know for a fact he looks at everyone from wherever he is and he looks at them with such passion and love and admiration for whatever they're doing and i know he fills me with hope and confidence whenever i need it” you smiled as you finished and stepped back and the line continued.

You all gave your thanks, gave a blessing or a prayer depending on who it was, sent your respects and then went your way with drinks and conversations and music. Spencer smiled as he came up to you when Hotch walked away, your conversation about Henry becoming dwindled as the food looked more appetizing to Hotch.

“Hey,” Spencer said with a little wave as he held a cup of...cordial?

“Are you really drinking cordial Spencer?” you asked with a laugh as Spencer nodded.

“Believe it or not cordial is a lot healthier than wine,” Spencer spoke with a laugh as he stated the obvious, you smiled as well but it was tight, “are you okay?” you nodded.

“Yeah i'll be alright,” you said quietly, where was this sad emotion suddenly coming from?

“Considering the circumstances it's okay to be sad (Y/n)” Spencer commented as he saw your saddened expression but before he could say anything else you put on a fake smile.

“Spence i promise, im okay” you said with fake confidence, “promise” you held out your hand for the doctor and took his warm palm in his, you could tell Spencer didn't believe you but nodded anyway, but your whole demeanor changed as soon as the song did and you grinned, “dance with me Spencer?” you asked as you set down your wine and dragged the poor doctor to the ‘dance floor’.

“N-no i'm not really- i haven't ever-” Spencer stuttered but with your glowing smile and laugh he found himself not finding the words to excuse himself before nodding and placing his drink down on the nearest surface. You brought the doctor close to your body and rested your head in his neck as his arms wrapped around your waist hesitantly and yours wrapped around his neck, you danced in a slow circle as the rest of the team gave suggestive glances to each other.

“Rose girls in glass vases, perfect bodies, perfect faces, they all belong in magazines” your voice floated through the air softly and Spencers voice hitched, “Those girls the boys are chasing, winning all the games they're playing, they're always in a different league” you continued to sing and sway with Spencer, his grip tightened on you as he buried his face into your hair as Hotch pulled Alex in for a dance, Rossi with J.J. and Derek and Garcia all walked to the dance floor; slow dancing and holding one another softly as your voice continued, “Stretching toward the sky like I don't care, wishing you could see me standing there” god was that directed to Spencer? It was, wasn't it? Spencer bit his lip at the thought as he continued swaying as he looked up for a second and saw everyone else slow dancing, a smile gracing his lips as your voice flowed through the air again, “But I'm a sunflower, a little funny, If I were a rose, maybe you'd want me” your voice wavered as you buried your face into Spencers neck, “If I could, I'd change overnight, I'd turn into something you'd like but i'm a,” your voice came out a little stronger now as you looked up and saw your co-workers now switching dance partners; Rossi with Hotch (which made you laugh a little), J.J. and Derek, and Alex with Garcia, “sunflower, a little funny, if I were a rose, maybe you'd pick me” your voice sighed at the end as you broke away from Spencers neck to look at the beautiful man in front of you, wording the lyrics to him, “But I know you don't have a clue, this sunflower's waiting for you,” both of you leant in as your eyes darted to Spencers mouth, his eyes doing the same to yours as he licked his lips without realisation, “Waiting for you” with your mouths inches apart and your eyelids slowly closing, you could feel Spencers breath fanning over your lips...almost...almost…

“(Y/n) that's a beautiful voice you have!” Alex exclaimed, the song continued in the background as yourself and Spencer jumped away from each other, smiling awkwardly as you wiped your sweaty palms on your hips and thighs. Your teammates all broke away from each other; Blake must have been the only one to see and realise what was going to happen, you looked to Alex with a mix of emotions including anger and appreciation; anger because she stopped you and Spencer from kissing, appreciation because she stopped you and Spencer kissing in front of the others.

“Thanks…” you smiled as you scratched the back of your head with an awkward smile, “well i gotta start heading!” you exclaimed suddenly, the crushing feeling in your chest getting too much for you to stay.

“Ohhh what what what?” Garcia asked as she came forward, “oh come on i can get the blow up mattress, we can all sleep here, take tomorrow off; Hotch we can take tomorrow off can't we?” Garcia suddenly exclaimed, you all smiled as did Hotch but he didn't say a word; Garcia was tipsy, if not already drunk.

“It’s okay Penelopie really,” you said with a smile as you walked to the girl and hugged her close, “i'll see you guys tomorrow though,” you smiled as you hugged everyone, of course Spencer being the last.

“I’ll drive you home,” Spencer said quickly as he picked up your coat as well as his, you stuttered as Spencer opened Garcia's door but decided against it; instead blushing and thanking Spencer as the two of you walked out of the apartment building and to Spencers old timey wimey car.

“Think those two will realise?” Derek said off-handedly with a knowing grin.

“They’re profilers, they'll figure it out,” Rossi said with a grin.

-------

Yourself and Spencer had already discussed you would sleepover at his house in case you got drunk or tipsy off of wine, that and the fact you used public transport to get to Garcias rather than a car and Spencer didn't want you to go onto the tubes at this time at night.

“No, Spence, I already told you I'm not taking your bed!” you exclaimed with a laugh as you got a drink from Spencer's kitchen.

“(Y/n) please, my couch is complete rubbish and i know!” Spencer exclaimed from his bedroom where he was getting dressed in. You scoffed jokingly.

“Oh yeah Spencer, you've slept on your couch you germaphobe” you said with a smile as you walked to Spencer's bedroom.

“I did! When…” as you entered the bedroom the air turned cold as Spencers smile fell, you looked at him from across the room in all of his shirtless-and-low-hanging-pyjama-pants glory, he cleared his throat, “when Maeve…” he choked as his sentence drained off the way it does when Spencer is emotional and about to cry.

“Oh, Spence im...im sorry i didn't think,” you said softly, you stayed in the doorway unsure of what to do. Spencer cleared his throat as he threw his side of the covers back and started to get into the bed.

“Please?” Spencer questioned, you knew what he wanted as he bunched the sheets at his waist and played with his fingers while looking at the covers, you nodded. Whether Spencer saw you nod or not you weren't sure but you went through the same motions as you would when going to bed; brushed your teeth in Spencer's connected bathroom, tugged off your work clothes, put on your pyjamas as Spencer waited patiently in the bed, unmoving. Your feet padded on the floor as you brought back the covers on the other side of Spencer and sat on the bed next to him, the covers bunched up around your waist as you waited, waited for Spencer to lay down, hold your hand, something.

And then he did.

“Spencer i know-”

“Can you sing for me?” Spencer suddenly asked, his voice on the verge of breaking as he looked to you with teary eyes, you nodded quickly and began to smile.

“Yeah, yeah of course i can Spencer,” you said quickly, “did you want to get under the covers?” you asked softly, Spencer nodded and sniffled softly as the two of you maneuvered to lay down. You laid on your back as Spencer clutched onto you, his head rested on your chest as your arm wrapped around his back and to his shoulder, “what do we want tonight?” you asked in a soft voice into Spencer's hair.

“Anything, anything happy,” Spencer mumbled into your chest, you nodded and thought for a moment.

“Why are there so many, songs about rainbows, and what's on the other side” you started to sing, Spencer doesn't know the muppets very well but he has heard this song play in your headphone while on the jet home after a tough case once or twice, this was the second song you used to calm yourself down next to The Candy Man, “Rainbows are visions, they're only illusions, and rainbows have nothing to hide” your voice was soft and filtered through the air as Spencer closed his eyes, envisioning himself in a wonderful forest, just like Kermit the frog with you by his side, your uke in your arms, the cords coming through seamlessly, “So we've been told and some chose to believe it, but I know they're wrong wait and see” you squeezed Spencer softly as you started on the chorus, “Someday we'll find it, The Rainbow Connection” you tilted Spencers chin up from your chest and moved back from Spencer a little so he wasn't arched weirdly nor where you bent weirdly, “The lovers,” you pointed a finger into your own chest, “the dreamers,” you pointed a finger into Spencers chest as he smiled softly, his tears dripping into the creases of his smile, “and me” you cuddled back into Spencer as his arms tightly wrapped around you again.

“Who said that every wish,” Spencer's soft voice filtered in the air, you smiled and hummed the instrumentals, “Would be heard and answered, when wished on the morning star” you smiled and kissed Spencer's head again and joined in with singing.

“Somebody thought of that, and someone believed it, look what it’s done so far” you shrugged jokingly as if the ‘look what it's done so far’ was someone really saying it, a soft chuckle came from Spencer, “What's so amazing,” you shrugged again as you looked to Spencer, “that keeps us stargazing, what do we think we might see?” you brought your unwrapped arm up towards the ceiling and cupped it around as if you were cupping Spencers chin, “Someday we’ll find it,” you looked back down to Spencer as your arm came down as well, “The Rainbow Connection,” you cupped Spencers cheek as you moved forward, Spencer doing the same as he looked down to your lips like he did at Garcias before gliding back up to your eyes, “The lovers,” you cocked a small smile as the lyrics came out in a whisper, “The dreamers,” you tapped Spencer cheek softly as the gap finally closed and your lips pressed against Spencers for a short moment before you both pulled back slowly, “And me”

[homosexualadventure]

every single lmam song, ranked.

i just finished listening to let’s make a music for the first time, and Oh My God it rocks. it’s a great podcast and if you’re reading this without having listened to it...i don’t know what to tell you. i don’t know what you think lmam means. but, that aside, if you haven’t listened to it yet: go listen to it! it’s not a crazy long podcast, overall or episode length-wise, so it’s manageable even for people who usually can’t handle podcasts (like me!) anyways, now that it’s over, what’s left for me to do with my time and energy that i used to spend thinking about lmam?

listen to the episodes again so that i can rank all fourty-one songs from worst to best, of course. so that’s exactly what i did.

i mostly ranked these on my gut feeling, because i didn’t come up with the idea of ranking it on a set of points before like...five minutes ago. there’s a bit of personal bias in here, so if you disagree with me on rankings, hey! send me an ask, or a dm. we can talk about it. 

so, now that that’s out of the way, let’s get into it! let’s...make a ranking. haha. that’s just a fun little lmam joke for you. 

41. the roquefort stank

this song only gets points for laura’s stanky noises in the background. i love laura.

40. shan’t he shanty

weirdly catchy. for a sea shanty, that is. that’s all i have to say.

39. well, i’m on child...

i do love a good gay song about polyamory but it just wasn’t enough in this case. truly heartbreaking. 

38. dog trash

i’m not a big fan of polka in general. that’s all i have to say. i don’t have to explain all my decisions. this is my journey. and it’s your journey that you’re taking with me.

37. echoes of wednesday

it’s not my favorite but i do think it’s sweet and i like all the laura vocals. also the zuko vocals. 

36. brothers in legs

not their best character song but it’s still a song you could quietly headbang to. i just don’t love full story ballads (there is an exception to this, you’ll see) most of the time. 

35. ol’ tim’s tricks

i’m not saying it’s a bad song, i’m just saying it sounds like it was once in a made for tv disney channel-esque movie about a girl who finds her calling in sports and friendship.

34. don’t give me that altitude

very queen-esque with general 80s vibes and i like that.

33. dreamless

if it was longer i think it would be a lot higher on the list, because it’s Good. but i don’t feel right putting a 45 second song above, like, tobie’s razor. still! i love the mellow, kind of sad and eerie tones of it.

32. holiday crime!

look i know this one’s fairly low on the list, hear me out: it’s a good song and it’s pretty memorable as well! but as far as holiday songs go, i don’t think it’s their best or most iconic one. laura’s laughing and beat in the back is absolutely wonderful and heartwarming, though.

31. mr. dad

this one gets a higher rating than the previous holiday song for its good good harmonica and because when i heard the lyrics “but you love to watch him go” used to describe mr. dad i almost toppled my chair backwards with me still in it.

30. mourning ritual

the biggest load of 1980s bullshit i’ve ever heard in this decade. somehow it’s also got a big panic! at the disco vibe and i’m not sure how i feel about it but it’s definitely Strongly There and i can’t deny it.

29. outback sadhouse

it’s RIDICULOUS how well they nailed the sufjan stevens vibe with this one. plus the restaurant dialogue bit in the back of the song really adds a lot. 

28. let down my better dynamite

it’s really easy to bop to and the instrumental in the background is FANTASTIC! jonah really killed it with this one. plus they talk a lot about rats in the episode which is nice for me because i love rats. also it’s the first episode with an instance of “brian does a bit”.

27. the tale of the greazzy creek

i just think it absolutely nails the vibe of a rural campfire grizzled old cowboy song while also being a really catchy theme song. like, i think you could’ve snuck it into holes (2003) and i would’ve been like, yeah, that sounds right. 

26. turn around and come down slowly

not one of their more iconic songs but brian’s voice is so pretty in this and it’s really soothing. 

25. ratless randy’s

i don’t know why it’s this high on the list either, but it is. ratless randy’s really IS the place to be, guys.

24. tobie’s razor

i will be honest. when i saw the title for this episode for the first time i just thought “occam’s razor” and as i type this i can’t even think of what that actually is, so..... anyways, i’d say this song absolutely NAILS the vibe but i have no idea what vibe it’s even remotely related to. certainly does nail the internal childhood monologue though. i think this song is the first one where they really started hitting their stride, also. not that it’s better than some of the earlier ones, but this one forward their songs were pretty consistently high quality. plus, and no one will be surprised by this by now, it gets extra points for laura. 

23. armoire of royals

it’s weird, it’s synthy, has a vaguely billie eilish-esque part near the end which is not necessarily a point in favor depending on your taste but it Definitely is surprising and cool, and it’s got fake british accents. what more do you need out of a song?

22. sybil’s night scare

the piano in this is perfect and fantastic and the comedic timing in the song is just right. jonah’s delivery of “they’re actually real human eyes” is so goddamn good and his singing is Also great and frankly i think we can all agree we’re fucking tired of him saying he can’t sing. i mean, i assume (i fucking hope) he’s stopped saying that by now considering he had the majority of vocals on silo by a bit but Still. it’s a good peppy halloween-y song.

21. chalice for your thoughts

two spooky songs in a row! honestly, i’m not sure what reasons i have for ranking this song as high as i did. i just like it a lot. they were able to include a lot of weird twitter suggestions fairly seamlessly, and it’s just soft and pretty. spooky, but still pretty. 

20. 21st blitheday

i admit it: i fucking hate the voice brian uses in this. but i really, really like the song. the beat’s very good and somehow brian still manages to sing the chorus well and make it sound nice even though his affectation is Stupid as hell <3 the background whistling is nice and his robot voice, which he’s used for several of his videos but i think most notoriously for scrundler in his week in revue series (here), is also featured. it’s a real bop, i think.

19. monday night boomball

i genuinely think this is their weirdest song, ever. it’s incomprehensible and it’s so fucking theatre kid of them, and it’s dumb as shit but it’s really funny and enjoyable and strange and i love it.

18. gentle light

this is a really good song. it’s not weird or funny, it’s genuinely just a really soft, calming, normal song. i can’t in good conscience rank it above the others for this reason, because it’s easier to make a regular song good than it is for a song about fucking a tree, but i want to be clear: i really love this song. it’s a song that you could fall asleep to, cry to, cuddle up in a blanket to, whatever the hell you want to do to it.

17. proud egg mouth

extra points for fitting the word “maw” in any kind of song, a feat i’m not sure anyone else has ever accomplished. also for brian actually singing with an egg in his mouth.

16. you can take that to the bank

brian does an incredible randy newman impression and i love him for it. also it’s just a good song! it’s not my favorite but it’s very pleasing to my ears and it’s well made.

15. rainbow trout eggs

i listened to a shit ton of colbie caillat in middle school and i can tell you with confidence that the lyrics “i feel so alive and i know that i’m happy na na na na na hey hey” would be in one of her songs. it’s a good song with completely ridiculous lyrics and it’s a better character/full story ballad than their previous ones, in my opinion. which is what you’re specifically here for!

14. car mitzvah

i think this is a song my dad would listen to if it came on the radio. i also think it deserves to be in an early 90s or maybe coming of age movie. brian’s vocals are fantastic in this, also.

13. dr. brims

“it’s a new year, Ha Hah!” this song is sooooo fucking funny and exemplary of a lot of their other songs that came afterwards. i’ve been saying that a lot i think. writing reviews is hard.

12. let’s make a music (theme song)

maybe it’s the emotional value of this song being the song i associate most with the podcast, since it’s the theme song, or maybe it’s just really good. (spoiler: it’s both but mostly the second one) the episode is also really funny in general and if you’re new to the podcast and don’t care about order, i highly recommend this one first! 

11. heartbreak in michael’s

a very very very good sad gay love song and i recommend it to the ends of the earth! because this is the internet, and i can!

10. arbor day!

you try making a horny song about deforestation.

9. why don’t you like our song title?

such a fucking bop and showcases their skill for just doing whatever the hell they want and STILL making a fantastic song or video or whatever. they just stop saying words in it and it does not take anything away from the song. could you do that? i mean...maybe! but for the sake of this review and my point i’m gonna be like fuck you no you couldn’t. moving on.

8. akimbo

the backing track in this is ABSOLUTELY what makes the song. plus that one video of brian strutting but technically that can’t affect my review of the song because Technically it’s not part of the song. anyways it’s really peppy and fun and enjoyable and Good.

7. heartbreak in michael’s (reprise)

it’s the perfect finale song. like, it genuinely sounds like the song that plays at the end of a romcom after everything’s finally worked out. i Did cry when i heard brian sing the theme song at the end but that’s just because i’m a sentimental son of a bitch. so besides that ending bit that i can(’t) guarantee will make you tear up at Least, it’s really fucking fun! it’s upbeat and happy and i think they made the right song to go out on. or to go on a hiatus on, if brian’s website is to be believed. i don’t believe it, but hypothetically, y’know? hypothetically...

6. debutaunt ball

if the met gala doesn’t make this their theme song i will personally burn next year’s event to the ground, i swear to god. also it’s a good song to show off both jonah and brian’s range. it’s not like a lot of their other songs but it’s SUCH a banger and i adore it.

5. madame zamporium’s wax emporium 

fuck yeah. learning that the “ooh come on baby” from several unraveleds came from a let’s make a music is the reason i finally started listening to the podcast in the first place. but BESIDES that, since that’s not a reason for my ranking (just a fun little fact about me!), this song slaps a ridiculous amount. they went insanely hard and it’s the first song they made that really sets the tone of the podcast, which is: great comedy, great high production music. 

4. alan rickman’s edible zoo

GOD! the anti-celebrity, anti-capitalist rock song i’ve been waiting all my fucking life for! also it’s anti-america but only in one lyric. but in Another sense....throughout the whole song. PLUS, and most importantly, it features jonah’s literally and i mean LITERALLY impeccable alan rickman impression. like, it’s fucking bulletproof. alan rickman was in the goddamn room. 

3. horsecar!

look. when this song started playing for the first time i went...fuck no. in general i don’t tolerate country or cowboy songs very well because they just don’t sound appealing to my ears most of the time. i put up with country road only because of a funny mario edit someone made of it and now the original song has more value to me. this is relevant only because the same thing happened with horsecar! in that the chorus KICKS ASS. i may make a post on just my favorite lmam songs and also this is already a crazy long post so i won’t go into it too much but i will say this. the shock value of going from the first verse in this song to the chorus is...........Incredibly high and it Works So Fucking Well! it literally makes the song. and not even just for the short term value of Oh My God That’s A Twist, it lasts through the whole song. i’m listening to the song as i type this and i’m currently at the country/cowboy part and i don’t hate it because i know the chorus is incredible. in fact, i’d argue that the chorus on its own may be the best thing lmam ever made, even better than my two actual favorite songs of theirs. i’m definitely going to have to make a full post on this. (SIDE NOTE: BRIAN’S VOCALS ARE FUCKING CRAZY AND HORSECAR! IS ONE OF THE BEST EXAMPLES OF THIS. his goddamn RANGE!! SIR!!! his falsetto is literally ridiculous my pants are OFF)

2. dragon me to this wedding

this is what i meant when i said there’s an exception to the “i’m not generally a fan of full story ballads”, because this is one of my all time favorite lmam songs. as in, it’s in the top three. which i guess you can tell from it being number two in the top three. in fact, it’s probably one of my favorite songs in general. the first time i listened to the episode i went back and listened to the song again three times in a row, and all three times i cried real tears. it’s GAY it’s REALLY PRETTY and i LOVE IT. 

1. save 2 4 tony

so we’ve finally made it to my all-time favorite lmam song. maybe it’s that i recently graduated myself and so this song hits a little harder, but it also just GOES hard. i genuinely think they peaked when they recorded this. it’s one of those bdg songs where you’re listening to it, you’re just chilling, and it’s like “yeah wow this is nice!” and all of a sudden he hits a falsetto and you go “oh FUCK that guy can SING!” literally his vocals in this are incredible and it’s very fun (and on brand) that the Oh Fuck moment here is the line “tony hawk babeyyy!” plus jonah killed it on the backing and composition and everything. it’s the best let’s make a music song and i won’t take constructive criticism.

[bettycooperoutfitwatch]

4x05 Chapter Sixty-Two: Witness for the Prosecution

Be forewarned: Sweater discourse. 

(I merely include this moment because Betty is technically in the frame.)

But contemporary Betty begins the episode in a pink-and-white knit top with short sleeves. She’ll end the ep in a pink-and-white knit with short sleeves, too, but standby.   

Betty wore this knit top to help Jughead torch the trailer-turned-Fizzle-Rocks-lab. We get a better glimpse this time around (glad to know it survived all that soot and ash and car sex.)

Love the little two button-detail on the rear-sleeves.

Ten Little Boy Scouts. 

Well! I guess you gotta dress the part. 

Off the top of my head, I can’t recall another instance of Betty in this very true-blue shade. It’s more of an Archie color. But the FBI has a brand, so. 

(It’s delicate. But potent.)

We get such extreme and vivid close-ups during Betty’s serial-killer-savant moment that I felt compelled to include them. Love the eyeshadow.  

She pairs the Junior FBI polo with a dark skirt (possibly high-waisted shorts, but I’m leaning skirt.)

The Legend of the River Witch. (In red.)

(Bret wears black crew socks, he’s the worst.)

Purple and green! Betty’s all over the range in this episode, fittingly. The ribbing and the scalloping of the pink collar are all motifs we’ve seen before. It reminds me of the scalloped and ribbed top she wore in 219.

Purple pants though, that’s new!

This is the first we’ve seen the bag, but it is a cousin of sorts to the one that appeared during the Stonewall tour in 402. 

The existence of a Dr. Patel in the Riverdale universe leads us to conclude, logically, that somewhere out there in the greater Maple State there exists a Raj Patel. (But when was Riverdale ever logical?)

Betty’s the only girl in this Junior FBI Program (so Kevin’s odds of finding a gay guy here are decent-ish?), but she seems to be the only one with a kid size polo. 

Girl zooms right outta there in her white tennies. 

I love old yearbooks. I cannot tell if he is épée or foil, fencing squad pls come thru (I actually think it might be inconclusive given so much of the diff is in the weight of the weapon, no?) 

FPJ I could get it. LOOK at that James Dean curl. That Jones fam furrowed brow. The out-from-under gaze. 

(Also, these names.)

Betty’s subconscious! We haven’t really been here since 209? Lots of visual 209 connections in this episode... Betty spent 209 trying to hunt down and stop the Black Hood, and when she and Archie seemingly finally did...she felt like it wasn’t the end of the story (and she was right.) 

Anyway—short overalls are a Betty classic at this point, and she’s paired them with a pink t-shirt and her pink low-tops. 

405.

209.

I’m not going to engage with the fact that she’s wearing a bra/lette to bed (this is such a network TV thing)—but these two shirts are really similar. Their color difference might just be slightly too disparate to be down to a difference in color grading—but I do think we’ve all noticed a difference in the color and light in season 4 versus season 2. (Oh how I long for the clear tones of season 1, if only for the clarity of screen caps.)  

I love this whole party scene, but doesn’t it feel like it might end up being significant beyond this episode? 

Anyway, back to Betty the Serial Killer Whisperer. 

It’s a good thing she didn’t burn them when Alice suggested it. 

Yellow Keds. 

Heart earrings 💙 Or triangles, idk. 

Little Betty! At one point, pink-and-red seemed to be connected to Betty’s relationship with Archie, but here I’m honestly not drawing those kind of conclusions. This scene has a different purpose. 

Little Betty’s wardrobe is consistent between Teenage Betty’s dream and her retelling of the Caramel Incident to Kevin. Of course, it’s simply easier to have a single wardrobe for these things, but Riverdale’s made the decision to mix it up before (albeit on higher budget episodes.)

Let’s interpret this costuming consistency as the narrative giving Betty the benefit of the doubt. She’s able to see some things clearly, even if she’s repressed some deeply upsetting shit her father forced her to do. I’m having Old Yeller flashbacks. 

I don’t even know if I’m implying anything, I just really like the visual parallel and that I’m being forced to think about it. 

The Haunting of Maple Manor.

👀

Again with the 209 echoes. 

The Secret of the Old Windmill.

(only $1.95!)

“Lil Forsythe III”

It perhaps takes a special kind of zeal to take your half-brother’s confidence that he, too, possesses the serial killer genes and decide not that it means you’re gonna be just fine—but that instead, he’s sus. 

But I dunno, gotta break some eggs in order to make an omelette, etc. 

I’ll just repeat that genes are not destiny.

Stripes, ribbed knit, short sleeves, pinks and blues—all very Betty. 

However, not sure we’ve ever seen Betty in a baseball cap before, even in previous investigation modes! 

I think this might be her purple non-investigation jacket that we first saw in 213 (and most recently in 314.) It’s the sturdy jacket she wears when she finds herself in...less savory efforts, shall we say. 

But! Another flash-forward!

Poor Archie.

“What’s happening?”

“Wait are we getting up?”

“Okay okay I’ll get up too.”

This sweater is, apparently, divisive. I’ve actually already talked about it a bit in response to an ask. It reminds me of something a Sweater Girl would wear, and I find it really interesting to consider Betty in that context. A sweater is ‘wholesome,’ but a Sweater Girl is seen as sexual—and therefore as something dangerous and corrupting. A patriarchal society fears nothing greater than a woman with some agency. FP storms into this classroom and declares Betty—this whole trio—to be under arrest for murdering Jughead.

This sweater is a bit like Archie’s dial television, or his rotary phone. It’s almost so anachronistic as to be noticeable. 

To be brief—there’s something about this sweater and the context of this scene that gives this whole flash-forward a very strange vibe. 

Everyone is so shifty-eyed, they have no poker-faces. FP barges in here with two goons behind him, shot Wes Anderson-style. There’s a comics vibe to it. Coen-esque. 

But also I just think it’s something Betty would wear: it’s pink, it’s got a Peter Pan collar, it’s got some lace trim. It’s Betty Cooper in disguise as Betty Cooper, and it’s not the first time she’s tried that. 

Summary: I think I’ve got a count of 9—that includes 3 separate instances of the Junior FBI uniform, Teenage Betty’s dream outfit, and the flash forward—but doesn’t include Little Betty. So let’s make it 10. 

Is Betty a River Vixen??: Again, just on Jug’s wall 

That backpack?: Yes, multiple appearances of Backpack 2.0.

The floggingink Memorial Peter Pan Collar Count: The Sweater!

Best outfit: u know wut I’m gonna be staunch and say The Sweater. (I also really love V’s floral crop top in that scene.)

[angelcorebabyowo]

Title: Honeydew

Warnings: Brief mention of suicidal thoughts

Summary: Lydia, Johann and edward get ready for a party and it's all OOC because yeah

"I don't even want to go!" Johann complains adjusting his poet's shirt and flopping down into the window bench with a huff as Lydia just as quickly starts to brush through his unkempt hair, he even closed his eyes whenever the strokes got gentler. He typically didn't go to parties unless he was performing and he, sadly, wasn't invited to do that this time. Honestly, the only reason he agreed to go was that it was considered rude to ignore an invitation from the mayor so he felt as if there wasn't really even a choice. Maybe he should just fake sick to get out of it, that wouldn't be all that bad, just a simple little head cold.

He sighs softly and leans back into his sister so that he wasn't jerked around as much, he was a bit tender-headed so it made it easier on both of them now that he wasn't wincing every three seconds. "It'll be perfectly fine babes, don't stress so much. You'll get gray hairs if you do it too much." Lydia warned with a small grin, her unnaturally sharp canine teeth looking unnatural amongst the normal ones. A few years ago she dragged everyone into sharping them but she continues to do it every time they run down even slightly. It would be weird if she didn't make it look so damn good " Although I bet you'd love that, huh?"

"Oh, you better believe it" Johann joked sticking just the tip of his tongue out of his mouth by habit. That wasn't a lie, he always fantasized about the thought of having grayish-silver hair at a young age and everyone in the family knew it and would make fun of him at every chance they could. He knew it wouldn't be a good look or actually enjoy it but it still made him laugh every time so he didn't really think that far ahead on the subject. His dad had gone completely grey by the time he was 30 and Edward, his brother, was starting to already so signs of it at the ripe age of 16 so it was possible that he could develop early on as well. "Could you imagine me being completely grey by my 20th birthday? You'd have to start calling me sir in a sign of respect!"

"You get no respect, none" Lydia laughs and stops brushing Johann's hair for a quick second before starting to do the very loose twist with her fingers. It was one of the easiest hairstyles she knew that could be done in half an hour or less. "Put it in a bun or just leave it down? Either way, it's getting twisted because I've already started."

"Maybe in a bun? " He mumbles leaning more onto the window and looking out at the city the setting sun was hitting just perfect to cast a somewhat orange and pink glow on the tops of certain buildings.  He assumed his apartment complex was one of them do to the height alone. He sometimes wanted to just sit on the ledge and watch the sunset that way, one false mood and he would plummet ten stories down before landing in the pool below. He wondered if he'd still be alive by that point. 

"A buns always a safe option." She whispers interrupting his thoughts and gently putting his hair in a bun before taking a step back to look at her handiwork "Its a little high but I think you should be good. That way it's nearly a safe bet, not one person would recognize you." 

"Do you think Avi would still recognize me though?" Johann questions as he looks into the vanity mirror and puts on a fix inspired mask. He forgot why he picked a fox, maybe do to their cunning abilities or something along those lines. He'd picked it out when he first got the invitation weeks ago so all memories seemed to just fade from him. 

"Avi would recognize you even if you didn't have a face or hair, now stop being a love-stuck puppy and both of you finish getting ready. " Edward interrupts walking into the room. How no one heard him walking down the hall with the obnoxiously loud heels was beyond everyone. He was also wearing his mask already. A cream scaled one with a few black scales mixed into it as it added ' Flavor '

'Snake' was the first thing that came to Johann's mind whenever he first saw it all those weeks ago, and even today his mind couldn't stop from going to that place no matter how many times Edward insisted it was a dragon inspired one. Johann still wondered what kind of snake it would even be, maybe just a simple corn snake. Edward wasn't that mean, after all, he wouldn't pick something venomous after all. 

"I am ready." Johann insists pointing to his outfit, the only thing he had to do was change into some dress pants and he'd be off to go.

"I was talking about both of you. More specifically Miss. "I'll do it later" over there," Edward says, he had a point after all. Lydia wasn't even remotely ready to go at that point. Her hair was pulled into an over-the-top and eye-drawing hairstyle and her nails were done to perfection, but other than that her clothes were just basic pajamas "go get dressed before we leave you at home." 

Lydia smirks before patting Edward on the cheek in a taunting manner. "Talking mad shit for someone who got his license suspended."

"Johann can! Right, you can still drive?" Edward questions flopping down onto Johann's bed with a loud sigh as the bed creaks under the new weight. He winced at the sound but overall didn't say anything about it. 

"I'm 15 years old and haven't even taken the exam yet" 

"Didn't ask how old or if it was legal just asked if you knew how."

"I refuse to let either one of you drive my car," Lydia says before walking out of the room to actually go get ready knowing that the other two would actually leave her behind. 

"Our car!" Edward calls before leaning over and closing the door fully and sighs loudly again before laying up against the headboard already messing up his golden capelet and neon blue shirt. He really couldn't stand not being the center of attention for a single second, he always dressed like that so it wasn't that far of a bet after all. "We have ten minutes before it starts but you know the saying-"

"Arriving fashionably late is better than arriving on time, shows how little you care."  Both of them say at the same time although while Edward sounds cheerful Johann just sounds even more tired then he always does as if he was trying to drag it out for as much as he possibly could. Johann sat at the vanity trying to figure out how he was going to cover up the bags under his eyes that, even with the mask, were extremely prominent. he eventually just settled on leaving them there as it seemed to add character to the entire look. (He was going for a renaissance era poet who just lost his husband due to some mysterious illness. He seemed to actually be hitting all of the points except for the crying but no way was he going to cry in front of people.)

They sat in silence now, it wasn't awkward, in fact, it was more comfortable than anything. Edward was doing something on his phone and Johann was trying not to have a panic attack because he was actually going through with this while struggling to fit pants that were a little too tight on. Alright, so maybe it wasn't all that comfortable but it was close enough to it. 

After about 20 minutes Lydia rushed in with a smile wearing bother her outfit and mask on. It was a multi-colored short yet puffy dress that fell off the shoulders and a mask that looked suspiciously like a peacock with the number of feathers that seemed to be hastily glued on. "All they had at the store was the plain ones so I had to glue the feathers and sequins on myself so now it looks as if a 3-year-old designed it!" she complained before going over to Edward and promptly laying down on top of him with an over the top sigh. "Woe is me."

"Well whose fault is that L? We offered you to come with us weeks ago but Noooo, you needed to wait till the last second like some sort of troublemaker," Edward says pushing her off and then promptly standing up and rubbing his eyes slightly and throws the keys he had been hiding in his pockets to Lydia with a pout. 

"Off we go come along little children!" Lydia says before walking out the door again, the sound of her boots echoing through the mostly empty hall. The only thing in them was a few paintings of fruit painted in over the top and crazy colors and a single statue at the end of the hall that they won at an auction a few years ago for like a thousand dollars,

It wasn't worth it.

"We're the same age!" Johann argues running after her trying to put on some of his slip-on shoes as he walked. It didn't fit the look but no way was he also going to wear heels, that was pushing it too far for him at best. 

"Stairs or Elevator?" Edward askes whenever all three make it out of their apartment building and into the main hallway "I'm taking the stair because no way am I getting Vored by an elevator"

"Stop being so mean to me!"Edward whines but gets in the elevator anyway with a pout and it started to go down, Lydia was babbling about how much fun tonight would be and her brothers both groaned in unison. 

"That's baby talk. Grown-men take getting eaten like a champ." Lydia says with a small laugh before hitting the button to take them to the main lobby "Johann baby, what are you taking?"

"I'm already in pain so I'll just take the elevator, fuck walking down 10 flights of stairs. "Johann says pushing his way into the elevator and gently holds on to the railing. "Ed gets in here, I refuse to sit next to you if you walk down down disgusting!"

If this was going to happen all night then what a fun one it would be. 

[smilesthroughfandoms]

Every Single Star vs. the Forces of Evil episode in one sentence or less

I’ll probably post a more in depth-review later this week, as I have opinions literally no one wants to hear but I will proclaim anyway, and then I’ll probably also due a revision of my ‘Past Queens Connection to Star’ post from way back in season 2. Cause that needs an update.

Anyway, enjoy!

Star Comes to Earth: Princess Cinnamon Roll that Could Kill you comes to earth and meets Misunderstood Safe Kid.

Party With a Pony: Spoopy Wardens hunt for the glitter pony while Star gets ice for Marco’s sweaty back.

Matchmaker: In which we learn it was probably a bad idea to give Star the wand in the first place.

School Spirit: Star misunderstands football and Marco tries to get Ferguson to blow his whistle not in that way.

Monster Arm: “Not my bowels! I love my bowels!”

The Other Exchange Student: Star is jealous of the meatball man from Bakersfieldville.

Cheer Up Star: “It’s supposed to be ironic!”

Quest Buy: Very accurate depiction of what it is like to work in retail.

Diaz Family Vacation: Both Marco and Star see new sides of their dads but that’s not necessarily a good thing

Brittney’s Party: Star and Marco party on a bus that Ludo hijacks

Mewberty: Star gets horny and snares boys in her web but not in that way

Pixtopia: Marco messed up and Alfonso marries Ferguson’s rebound

Lobster Claws: “… You can’t eat children.” “Really? Not even the annoying ones?”

Sleep Spell: “Camera Phooone!”

Blood Moon Ball: We’re suppose to ship them now, right?

Fortune Cookies: Love is never the answer kids

Freeze Day: Father Time offers Star and Marco some mud before riding away on his wheel-mobile pulled by giant time-hamsters I am not making this up.

Royal Pain: King Santa Claus destroy mini-golf

St. Olga’s Reform School for Wayward Princesses: Princess Prison sure is a nightma–OH MY GOD ARE THOSE CLUBS?!

Mewnipendence Day: No wonder monsters hate Mewmans so much.

The Banagic Wand: Star still doesn’t get Earth and like all of us, Marco is always hungry.

Interdemensional Field Trip: Miss Skullnick fears the “Big Change” while Marco sends Jackie cat memes

Marco Grows a Beard: Ludo is out, Toffee is in, and Marco will probbaly be terrified of beards forever

Storm the Castle: “SURPRISE!”

My New Wand!: DIP DOOOWN

Ludo in the Wild: Wait, since when did Ludo become badass?

Mr. Candle Cares: “Star and I have recently become smooch buddies… On the lips.”

Red Belt: Marco searches for a meaning in life and Star searches for hammer.

Star on Wheels: *epic remix of Marco saying Star is in trouble*

Fetch: Marco can’t open juice and Star runs away from her problems and sending thank you cards

Star vs. Echo Creek: Star gets high and destroys a police car

Wand to Wand: Both Ludo and Star are terrible at magic also major ship tease

Starstruck: Star and her idol Sailor Super Saiyan destroy a park and Marco is 100002% done with this shit

Camping Trip: King Butterfly has a mid-life crisis and tries to control an eagle

Starsitting: They’re gonna be great parents some day.

On the Job: Buff Dad is best dad and buff babies are adorable

Goblin Dogs: “You might think this line is long, but listen to my goblin song!~”

By the Book: Ludo and Star still suck at magic and Glossaryck is a bigger troll than Alex Hirsch

Game of Flags: And I thought my family was dysfunctional...

Girls’ Day Out: Janna is back and is still awesome btw

Sleepover: “TRUTH! STAR HAS A CRUSH ON MA–” *cue fandom freakout*

Gift of the Card: R.I.P.  Rasticore Chaosus Disastorvayne… He couldn’ get his fucking chainsaw to work

Friendenemies: Star becomes one with Christmas tree while Tom and Marco go on a date and sing a romantic pop ballad.

Is Mystery: Meatfork is apparently a family name and Ludo is really starting to freak me out tbh

Hungry Larry: “He’s still hungry…”

Spider with a Top Hat: He tries and he is awesome and that’s all that matters

Into the Wand: SPAAAAADESS!!!

Pizza Thing: Marco is OCD about mushroom and Pony Head buys skinny jeans

Page Turner: Moon, how did you miss Toffee in the orb he was right there!

Naysaya: Marco is a mood in this episode

Bon Bon the Birthday Clown: Honestly my favorite episode overall

Raid the Cave: Glossaryck is the true neutral asshole.

Trickstar: Weird Al is a treasure and I’ll mes up anyone who makes Marco cry!

Baby: Aw, look at the little deadly baby, I love her!

Running With Scissors: Marco gets a new edition to his shipping harem and she is so cute!

Mathmagic: Why did the chicken cross the road?

The Bounce Lounge: Marco is definitely the mom friend.

Crystal Clear: The Chancellor guy is amazing and Rhombulus just needs a hug and wAS THAT ECLIPSA IN THE BACKGROUND?

The Hard Way: “SURPRISE!” 2.0

Heinous: Oh, so that’s how Marco got all that money.

All Belts Are Off: This is the negative side of “Pro-tag teen hangs out with older adult figure” trope done splendidly

Collateral Damage: Marco how do you not know what a possum is?

Just Friends: I’m fine! *blows up sign to prove just how fine I am*

Face the Music: This song is actually a banger

Star Crushed: Looking back, I’m starting to think the writing peaked at this episode....

BATTLE FOR MEWNI EDITION!!!!!

Return to Mewni: This is… just an exposition filler. Not much else to say….

Moon the Undaunted: B4! B4! B4 B4 B4 B4 B4 B4 B4 B4 B4 B4!

Book Be Gone: Seriously, did Glossy take trolling lessons from Alex Hirsch this is hilarious!

Marco and the King: This is the  “Pro-tag teen hangs out with older adult figure” done slightly better

Puddle Defender: Aw, look at the little buff babies, they’re getting so big!

King Ludo: The mime stole the show.

Toffee: Yeah, I think the writing peaked somewhere around here...

Scent of Hoodie: Huh, so Ponyhead can be written as likeable, who would’ve thought?

Rest in Pudding: The colors are not doing the censors any favor here, huh?

Club Snubbed: I literally yelled “Phrasing!” whenever they dropped the title

Stranger Danger: Is she the new antagonist of the series? I can’t tell

Demoncism: Tom is a wonderful baby boy and Ponyhead is written as likeable, part 2!

Sophmore Slump: *sobbing* Jackie deserved better, dang it!

Lint Catcher: I’m starting to wonder if there is any competant authority figure in Mewni

Trial by Squire: I think the writers were all like” You think these guys will ship anyone with Marco?” and decided to test that theory.

Princess Turdina: I got more lore out of this episode than I thought I would.

Starfari: Welp, she makes me uncomfortable.

Sweet Dreams: *Sailor Moon-ing intensifies*

Lava Lake Beack: Proof that this fandom will ship anyone with Marco at the slightest inclanation

Death Peck: Rich Pigeon is my new favorite birb and Ponyhead is written as likeable for the third time

Ponymonium: Well, it was nice while it lasted.

Night Life: The writers made so many new ships they had to get rid of an old one!

Deep Dive: “Chicken butt”

Monster Bash: Well, that explains the cheekmarks.

Stump Day: I think they just made an episode based around a picture from that bookcover.

Holiday Special: *insert every cheesy Christmas/Holiday episode trope here*

The Bog Beast of Boggabah: The title is fun to say and the episode is average at best.

Total Eclipsa the Moon: Seriously, I’m supposed to think she’s an ultimate villain.

Butterfly Trap: In which we are all Sean, don’t lie we were all him at the end

Ludo, Where Art Thou?: Dennis is best brother, hands down.

Is Another Mystery: *sniff* I got more emotional over this episode than anyone else did and I’m not sure how I feel about that

Marco Jr.: I… I just… Why? What’s the point?

Skooled!: Epic advertisment fakeout combined with wonderful character development and lore with a shock ending makes a 8/10 episode.

Booth Buddies: Old Man McGucket ships Starco, proceed to react accordingly

Bam Ui Pati!: Ponyhead is kinda likeable in this episod–nevermind she’s back.

Tough Love: Oh man, it’s happening! It’s happening guys here we go!

Divide: We are going to war everybody–And they’re all dead. That was quick.

Conquer: They should have paid Alex HIrsch to voice Glossaryck at this point, it’d be more in character for him.

Butterfly Follies: Proof that someone will always complain about politics no matter what.

Escape from the Pie Folk: Is anyone else disturbed by the fact that he kinda resembles Eclipsa more than Festivia?

Moon Remembers: I was expecting a freakout but was pleasantly surprised

Swim Suit: I’m starting to get a bad feeling about Rhombulus

Ransomgram: Why is everyone in this dimesnion hot?!

Lake House Fever: She’s a good mom

Yada Yada Berries: They missed an opportunity to have a Seinfeld actor guest-star, just saying

Down by the River: I’m glad that she can relax

The Ponyhead Show!: And Ponyhead is offically no longer likeable, can someone toss her into an abyss please?

Surviving the Spiderbites: SpiderSlime is canon proceed to react accordingly

Out of Buisness: How did this place go out of buisness???

Kelly's World: Man, they’re really setting these non-Starco ships up to fail, huh?

Curse of the Blood Moon: Pfft, yeah, sure, Starco won’t be canon at all!

Princess Quasar Caterpillar and the Magic Bell: I think Ludo has the most consistent character arc out of the entire show’s history.

Ghost of Butterfly Castle: Moon, Star is your daughter and Star supports Eclipsa, why would you not tell her?

Cornball: This episode has a heartwarming lesson that I hope more people come to realize

Meteora's Lesson: I’ll take any Toffee scenes I can get

The Knight Shift: I honestly don’t remember what happened n this episode

Queen-Napped: Seriously, can someone please dropkick Ponyhead into an abyss?

Junkin' Janna: The JanTom interaction I’ve been waiting for

A Spell with No Name: These types of episodes stopped being charming awhile ago

A Boy and His DC-700XE: I think Tomco has more ground to stand-on then Starco at this point

The Monster and The Queen: Don Panchito voices Globgor! There’s hope for this show yet!

Cornonation: They’re the best couple/parents/anything around!

Doop-Doop: I honestly think Rick just put Morty through some flux-capacitor or something

Britta's Tacos: Hey, remember these people that we suddenly brought back? No? Me neither!

Beach Day: This feels like a Season 1 episode and it’s nice

Gone Baby Gone: I want a TV show aout them now! Disney, please!

Sad Teen Hotline: Mr. Diaz is way to invested in Star’s love life.

Jannanigans: Hello last minute Janna character development!

Mama Star: So that’s how Mewni came to be--and I don’t care anymore

Ready, Aim, Fire!: Let’s get that finale ball rolling people!

The Right Way: Ok, that spell is actually pretty badass.

Here to Help: There, Starco’s finally canon will you guys just shut up now!

Pizza Party: Moon you idiot you ruined everything!

The Tavern at the End of the Multiverse: Toffee was right all along... I think we all knew that in some way

Cleaved: I expect nothing substanial and that’s what I got

[diningpageantry]

Just Tell Me Why

Archive Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15957728

Word Count: 3016

Summary: Simon's got a regular coming in looking a little worse for wear on a rainy afternoon. Despite their seemingly mutual distaste for one another, they come together over sweet treats and dried tears. (Coffee Shop AU)

Notes: thank you to @jessethejoyful for going over this super quick! i basically got the idea for this, wrote it, got it edited, then published it all within 6 hours so big thanks to her for help! also, there’s a spotify playlist to go with about half the fic’s background music. this is Simon’s Nightshift playlist!

The rain patters outside, a repetitive tapping against the long, paper-covered windows. Adverts, local band posters, cram-session times and business cards close off the shop from most of the outside world, leaving a multicolored, softened haze of light to filter in. Each lamp, each overhead light buzzes in this world, closing us off from the stampering around outside as students rush to one place or another.

I hear the chime of the doorbell and the soft shuffling of feet against the straw welcome mat before the steps approach the front. The soft mutter of “Shit” and the droplets of water from a flicked head land on me, turning my attention away from the case as I refill the cookie plates.

Oh. It’s him. “Basilton,” I hiss with my most forced smile, which only falters as I notice his eyes. Blood red. Oh. His cheeks aren’t wet from the rain, they’re red on their own terms. Great, this bloody prick somehow made me feel bad for him (even if it is in the slightest).

He sneers down at me, shaking another hand through his hair as he clearly tries to keep composure. “The usual, will you?”

“Yeah, fine. Anything else?”

He drags his eyes over the restocked case and I watch him fix his cuffed sleeves. The ends are damp in spots, as if they were moping something up rather than hit by drops. “Unless there’s toffee bars in the back.”

If he didn’t come in looking as depressing as he does, I would’ve just said no and left it at that, but I know for a fact that there’s some that are still cooling (even though they’re not set enough to really sell). I hesitate, looking up to meet his eyes. They tear away from mine. “Yeah, actually, there are. One or two?”

“Tw—one. One.”

“Riiigghhhttt… I’ll grab two.”

He sends a glare over my way, but straightens himself out again. “Fine.” His hand reaches into the inside breast of his jacket, digging in for his wallet as I raise a hand, grabbing my own out of my back pocket.

“I’ve got it,” I say sternly, not leaving wiggle room for him to protest.

He simply clears his throat, head turning away as his throat clears. I’m sure he won’t give me a thank you, but his off-turned nod is quite enough before he heads off to take a seat in the far corner, opening his messenger bag and pulling out a laptop.

The harsh blue of the screen illuminates his face. The only other light near him is a table-lamp on the other side of the sofa, and it’s the dimmest one in the whole shop.

Sometimes, whenever Penny comes in to sit at the bar and bother me, she comments on how he looks like this.

“He’s so angular,” she’d whisper, narrowing eyes as she stared blatantly. He didn’t seem to notice. “Looks like Dracula’s nephew.” This is, though, after I’d blabbered to her for at least an hour or two the night before about how I catch him staring at me. She thinks I’m being ridiculous about all this. “He stares at me, Penny, like without moving his head and just lifting his eyes oh dear god he’s plotting some shit, and I saw the way he watches Agatha whenever she’d come in and we’d steal a kiss on my break and Christ, Penny, he’s going to pull some shit have you seen how ridiculously handsome he is fuck him.”

Two things were decided that night. 1) How much wine is too much wine for me, and 2) We have a “Baz-cap”, or a cap to how much we talk about Mr. Coffee-Shop.

That was, of course, until we saw him off taking Agatha’s hand right before an exam, talking to her by a bathroom carve-out.

That cut it. Agatha broke it--the whole relationship thing--off with me, and I went from having a bitter spat with him each time he’d come in to barely dealing with him, if I can help it.

Except now, I suppose.

He looks down at his laptop screen, lips drawn to a tight line as he clacks away. I take notice that in pauses between words, his fingers hesitate and tremble in the slightest. He swallows sharply, blinking so much that he can’t not be crying.

Well, shit. I put together his frankly overly sweet order of some latte with six pumps of butterscotch, pushing through the swinging door to the back and getting a plate together of two toffee-bars (throwing on a vanilla bean cake-pop because, for some reason, I briefly care).

Swiftly, I take hold of his drink and bring it over to him with a slight yet genuine smile.

There’s a gentle clink of the plate hitting the plastic bowl on the table as I set it down, followed by the gentle swishing sound of his egregiously pre-diabetic drink as I rest it beside his food. He glances up at me, then down to the plate before dragging his eyes back to mine. “You seemed to have left something extra there.”

“I know I did. Seemed like you needed it.”

He scoffs quietly, the sound dragging through the back of his throat. “Is this why people gravitate towards you, Snow?” he grumbles half-heartedly, picking up one of the bars and a napkin. It dips a bit in the middle, still obviously a little too fresh. He doesn’t seem to mind. “Your hero complex?”

“I don’t have a hero complex. I just like being nice, you should try it.”

He makes the sound again, biting into the treat. I watch as he chews slowly, dragging his eyes up to mine. He swallows all showily. “Should I? I’ve gotten far enough without it.”

“Yeah, you should. It’ll get you your own girlfriend instead of havin’ to creep up on someone else’s,” I mumble back, leaning down to clean the discarded dishes beside him and giving it a good once over with my rag. He stares at me, and I swear I can hear him laughing.

Scratch that, he is laughing, somewhat a bitter twinge to his voice. I force my head up, eyebrows knit together in frustration. “Oh fuck yo—“

“You think I want your girlfriend, Snow?”

“You can already have her, tosser.”

“I don’t want her.”

I stare at him, and I catch him staring back. His laugh has far gone and disappeared into a slightly lowering brow and drawn in lips. His eyes scan around my face, the space between us all static-y. “Alright…” I draw, completely unconvinced. “Then what the hell happened last year?”

“She came onto me, Snow,” he says flatly. “It’s not my fault your girlfriend likes me better.”

Something inside stops me from spitting on him and calling him a prick. It’s the same part of me that actually cared that this arse came in crying. “Ex. She’s my ex, now.”

His brow arches, like it usually does when I tell him off, but it doesn’t have the energy of me about to be punched in the face. Instead, he’s inquisitive. “Oh. Ex?”

“Ex,” I sigh, pausing for a second. “Why don’t you want her? Everyone wants her.”

“Not my type,” he replies, a little too quickly.

I think he notices this too, because for the first time in minutes he drags his gaze back to his computer screen, finishing his thoughts as he types. “Doesn’t matter. I’m not after her, Snow. Don’t let me stop you from your… fantasy world, hero.”

The way he punctuates the end makes me bite my tongue again, holding the words trying to urge out as I clean the surrounding tables and take back the cups.

The clock ticks on as I fill the dishes into the sink. The café’s closed in four hours, and each time I peer out, it seems to still be dead silent. I stop, occasionally, to serve a customer.

The outside world darkens, drawing into a sunset before sinking back into a world only illuminated by yellowed streetlights. Most people leave, the rain having let up for about 15 minutes and setting a cue for the dining area to clear out.

Only a few stay, one of whom is Baz.

I chew on my bottom lip, hand floating over the Spotify playlist for the shop. It’s been on “Rainy Day” since before my shift started, so I just scroll down and pick “Simon’s Nightshift” and hit shuffle. It starts echoing out as I turn to keep cleaning and just standing for a time, taking out a book to try to read. It doesn’t last, and I clean around as mostly everyone trickles out of the shop slowly.

As the rain fully picks back up to a roll, it’s just Baz and I left inside.

After nearly 10 minutes on internal conflict, I grab the last few scones in the case (the other batch in the oven) and take a seat in the plush, leather armchair adjacent to him.

Slowly, his head rises and he gives me a bored look. The redness in his eyes has all but gone, but he still seems overall unsteady. It half stops me from even saying anything, but I push through the bubble and let it pop in my hands. “Do you have someone to talk to?”

He cocks his brow at me again, pursing his lips and clearly thinking over his words (or maybe mine). “Are you asking if I would wish to speak to you about my problems?” he draws, and the way he puts it makes me feel like I’m back as a toddler when the teachers would ask me if I understood English because I was so quiet.

The pit of my stomach churns as I forcefully stuff half the scone in my mouth. My stomach doesn’t want it to go down. I force it down anyway. “Yeah, I guess.”

He exhales exasperatedly. “What are you, a shrink?”

My shoulders shrug up, then sag. “I’m just someone who’s bored at work with nothing better to do. Least I could do is pester you.”

The clacking of his keys halts as Baz stares down at his knuckles. They wrap in, then extend once more. I watch as he drums against the surface of the keyboard before shutting the lid. “Okay. Fine. Do you truly want to know?”

I nod more encouragingly than I mean. Or, maybe I do mean it and I just don’t really want to admit it, even to myself. That’s what Penny thinks I do, at least; hide stuff from myself.

I listen to him sigh as my eyes flicker down to the rest of the scone I’m stuffing in my mouth.

Baz rubs his index finger and thumb against his temple as the exhale lengthens. “I can’t believe I’m telling you this of all people,” he mutters under his breath before straightening out and looking me in the eyes. I feel his next exhale. “My mother died years back and while looking through an old textbook of hers for a course, a picture of her and I fell out. It had a message from her on it, and it got to me. There. Happy?”

I blink a little, noticing that I still haven’t swallowed yet. I do that before continuing. “Baz…”

“Don’t start with the pitying shit, Snow. I don’t want to hear it,” he snaps, looking at his hands deliberately. “I’ve heard it quite enough before.”

“No, Baz, I—“

“I said to shut it,” he says, voice as hard as an edge as he shoves his backpack into the large pocket of his bag. “Just… forget it.”

“Baz?”

He sucks in a breath as I lay a hand on his knee, my plate setting on the table as he stares. His eyes transfix on each and every part of my hand, seeming to follow the veins and the scars scattering my weathered knuckles. It takes a moment before his eyes close and I’m nearly positive he’s on the brink of tears. It takes a moment of his mouth flying open before I cut him off this time.

“Why did you come here of all places?”

There’s a hesitation in his movements, but he keeps his knee in place as his waist shifts to face me more before opening his eyes. “What does it matter to you? This is very atypical of you, either way, not telling me to piss off.”

“Christ, Baz, I’m not heartless, especially when someone’s crying.” My voice lowers as I shift, the leather of my seat squeaking. “Plus, if you’re not swooping in to snag my girlfriend—or ex, but that doesn’t matter—fuck it, why did you go along with the fighting?”

He seems taken aback by my conversation shift, but his knee draws in and sends my hand back to my lap. “Does it matter?”

I shrug, hands laying together in my lap and playing a bit with twiddling thumbs and an anxious tug at my heart. Why does it matter so much? “Guess not. I just… I dunno, don’t like the fighting?”

“So you suggest we forgo the bitterness?”

“I mean, that’s what we’re doing right now, innit?”

He glances to meet my eyes and takes a second. “I suppose we are.”

I smile a little, sitting up straighter with a growing grin. “Good, glad that’s settled.” I pause before saying what else is on my mind, but the timer for the oven beeps and I launch myself up and run over to pull everything out.

By the way Baz was packing, I expect the couch to be empty by the time I return, but instead he’s sitting there with his phone by his face, thumbs in a pattern of scrolling. I bite my lip, hesitating before leaning over the counter and giving him a smile. “Oi,” I whisper, a twinkle in my eyes as he glances up to me, hair falling in soft waves against the sharp angles of his face. It makes my heart race a little more than I’d care to admit. “You want something absolutely amazing?”

“Is this a friendly offer?”

“This is a peace treaty, now, will you take it?”

“I suppose,” he mulls, the click of his iPhone sounding over the soft thump of the music. “What is it?”

“Fresh scones.”

He blinks. “What’s so amazing about them?”

I pout a little, taking one over and sitting directly next to him this time. “Just… taste it. It’s so much better like this; fresh from the oven.” I pry open his hand, pressing one onto his palm and watching him happily. I nearly swear I see him smile. “Well then? Go on, eat it.”

His hand slowly raises to his lips, taking a bite and chewing slowly. “I swear, you’re trying to fatten me up tonight,” he grumbles before swallowing, but I don’t see him complain as he goes for another bite.

A soft, pleased sigh lets out of my nose as I sit back against the armrest, grinning. I wait until he finishes before letting myself finish my thought from before I broke the moment. “Why the hell do you stare at me?” I ask, crossing my arms over my chest.

“Because you’re a trainwreck, and I can never look away,” he quips, but any malicious intent slides right past him.

“Is that really it?” I dare, pressing him further. “Because I wouldn’t come right here if my I found my mum’s left note.”

“Yeah, well, you don’t have a dead mum, do you?”

“I don’t know,” I say flatly, shrugging. “I don’t know my mum. I grew up in the system.”

He blinks, narrowing his eyebrows for a moment before letting it slip off. “Interesting.”

I stop myself from making any comment beyond that, chewing on my lip. “I want to know, though,” I say quieter than before, “why you’d come here. Why you came here so much even though we had a big tiff. Why you stare at me.”

Baz’s eyes don’t look up as he chews on his last bite of scone, staring right through the chairs across the room. “Move past that, Snow.”

“Why?”

“You don’t want the answer.”

“Maybe I do.”

He pauses mid chew, freezing for seconds before swallowing and turning his head to look at me, sitting all curled up to myself and pressed up against the arm. He looks so unsure; fuck, no, he looks scared. He starts shifting in his seat, glancing around like a cornered animal trying to find an exit. “Snow…”

Something about the tremble in his hand floors me and, honestly, I can’t give an explanation for what follows. It’s like my brain shuts off between then and now, with my lips pressed up against Baz’s.

My hand’s wrapped tightly around the previously shaking hand, trying to steady them as my lips press a tad forcefully against his and I can swear he’ll recoil and slam a fist into my nose, but something in him softens for a split second as I decide to pull back. His eyes, moments before open, are now shut, and mouth open in the slightest.

Oh, fuck it.

I lean my head back in, and this time, his hand flies up to brush against my cheek as he finally kisses back and my heart is pounding against my ribcage, telling me that this, this is the answer I was looking for.

He tastes like all the sweets he packs into himself; he tastes like the sour cherry scone I’d forced onto him. He tastes like everything I’ve wanted from him.

After every bit I take from his mouth, after minutes that feel like an eternity, he lets back and watches me through heavily lidded eyes and breathes through parted, shining lips. “How long ‘til closing?”

My eyes dart up to the clock, but something in my chest tugs. I bet Ebb wouldn’t mind if I closed a tad early because the weather… “Fuck it, right now,” I whisper back, going in for another kiss.

[agentdagonet]

Echoes, Ch. 16

Find it here on AO3

Find it here on tumblr:  1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15

Fic Summary: Feet dangling off the edge of the bed, hands still resting on the earpieces of his glasses, Eggsy opened his eyes.

And promptly shut them again, screwing them shut like a child who had the distinct misfortune of biting into a raw lemon. Breathing harshly in his nose and out his mouth, trying to stave off whatever delusional panic had befallen him, Eggsy reopened his eyes.

‘Harry?’

Or: The Hologram Story Nobody Asked For

SURPRISE ANOTHER CHAPTER!

         Eggsy was pacing. Roxy was staring at him with the look on her face that meant she was gonna try and comfort him and was steeling herself. She’d never been one for emotional heart-to-hearts, but for his sake she kept trying- and as much as it annoyed Eggsy, he couldn’t help but love her a little for it as well.

         ‘Eggsy-’

         ‘I know ‘im now, Rox, what ’m I gonna do?’

         ‘You can-’

         ‘I barely knew him b’fore and losing him wrecked me- ‘nd I’m just some kid he pulled out of lock up and fucked up the test an-’

         ‘Eggsy.’ Roxy grabbed him by the shoulders and spun him around, interrupting his panic wish a set jaw and kind eyes. It was no wonder he loved her. ‘It. Will. Be. Fine. Yes, it’s likely going to be awkward after you just got over mourning him and all, especially with how deeply you felt his loss. But that doesn’t mean that you can’t build something new from this second chance.’

         ‘I never got over him dying. I never really had to.’ It slipped out without him realising, one minute it was in his head and the next it was out in the world and he thanked the stars that Merlin wasn’t here. At least he knew Roxy would keep his secrets.

         ‘Seeing those holograms in the house certainly didn’t help, you really shouldn’t blame yourself for how you coped.’

         ‘Rox, you don’ get it. I didn’t have to, that hologram you saw was just a piece of this fucking ridiculous setup Harry made in the case of his death. Merlin only had to see one piece, he got the Will and listened to the fuckin’ last requests of a ghost and followed through on them.’ Roxy’s eyes had widened, jaw slightly unhinged, as Eggsy’s mouth took off and left his brain behind. ‘D’you know what I had? Everything.

         ‘Everything. I had his mission reports and his family tree, the fucking etiquette lessons and a full set of familial cookbooks to match; Mr Pickle and the butterflies- gods, Roxy, the butterflies. He called me Lancelot and it broke my heart that I was constantly reminded of the way I’d failed him. But I know him now, Roxy- I know him better than he ever knew me from those files, and I have to pretend I don’t.’

         Eggsy’s chest heaved, lips trembling despite every effort he made to seem unaffected. Roxy’s eyes had gone from shocked to heartbroken, but she didn’t speak. She pulled him toward herself, tugging his taller frame down into her embrace, hid his head in her shoulder, and did nothing more than hold him tightly as her shirt soaked through.

         They may have stood that way for an age, or a moment, but it still felt too soon when she pushed him away, holding him at an arms’ distance with fierce determination in her eyes. They didn’t exchange any more words as Eggsy took a deep breath and nodded at her, a small smile tugging at his lips.

         ‘You ready?’

         ‘Not at all.’

         ‘You gonna do it anyway?’

         ‘The fuck do you take me for, a quitter?’

         ‘No, just a bit fragile.’

         ‘I’ll show you, fragile, Roxalot-’

         Merlin and Harry approached the jet at a leisurely pace, an arm each about shoulder or waist, chatting quietly. Merlin’d gone out and bought a set of awful trackies for Harry, who’d worn them only because the other option was to be out in public in a hospital gown. Merlin called it his comeuppance for making him think he’d been dead for so long. Harry had half-heartedly attempted to argue the point, citing his comatose state and overall lack of communicatory technology, but Merlin had shut him down quickly by listing off all the duties he’d been forced to handle with the sudden gap where Arthur had been.

         ‘That’s not my fault!’

         ‘Wait until you see the footage, then we’ll talk.’ Merlin had been surprisingly closed-lipped about Arthur’s demise, but there was a hint of mischief about his face that kept Harry from prying too hard. The clothes were comfortable, in any case, even if not as much so as his cardigans and robe.

         The two paused briefly outside the door- Merlin had one hand raised to his glasses, likely to initiate the unlock code- and froze when they heard scuffling and the well known sound of bodies hitting the door. Merlin sighed once, pursed his lips and shook his head before muttering to himself. Harry could have sworn he said “children” but the fond way looked at the door implied that was the last thing behind the door. Merlin finished the unlock sequence, but gestured Harry ahead of him with a smirk barely held back.

         ‘After you, your majesty.’

         The inside of the jet was, to say the least, trashed. Luckily none of the glass was shattered, but the pillows were askew, chairs flipped, and there were various articles of clothing strewn about- as if blindly tossed in throes of passion, but the people amidst the chaos were anything but entangled romantically.

         Percival’s candidate, Roxanne, had Eggsy in a headlock that looked uncomfortable even without the knuckles digging into his scalp repeatedly. Eggsy, for his part, had her tossed over his shoulder in a vague approximation of a fireman’s carry- though she had definitely obtained the upper hand in their struggle; her legs were wrapped about his waist, forcing his head into her collarbone and she mercilessly noogied him. Lancelot had looked up at the sound of the door opening, and winked once before shifting her weight just enough to topple them to the ground in a laughing heap.

         ‘Lancelot and Galahad, dare I ask what the everloving fuck happened in the hours I’ve been gone?’

         ‘Well, Merthur-’ Merthur? Harry mouthed to himself, silently laughing at the glare Merlin was sporting, ‘-you was takin’ too long so we decided to entertain ourselves.’ Harry could barely contain the laughter that wanted to burst forth- who knew this much joy could come from tragedy?

         ‘I was under the impression that good things come to those who wait, Galahad.’ Merlin continued on, gesturing for Harry to move into a blind spot as the younger Knights pulled themselves to their feet.

         ‘Well, we’re here ain’t we? I figure that’s close enough, yeah?’ Eggsy brushed himself off, looking down as he pulled his clothing straight. He was laughing, and it was a sound Harry couldn’t get enough of.

         ‘I’d contest that anything “good” came of this venture, anyway.’ Roxy glanced briefly at Harry, still partially hidden by shadow, before sitting herself primly on a sofa. Harry began to slowly move himself closer to Eggsy, taking great care in waiting until Eggsy’s attention was diverted to continue forward.

         ‘Oi, don’ talk shit Roxelot.’

         ‘I’ll say what I please- how’s your head feeling?’ Harry took this moment to make his move, placing one hand atop Eggsy’s head. Eggsy froze, stiffening imperceptibly to a civilian, and turned around slowly.

         ‘Feels fine to me.’ Harry smiled, soft, like he had that first day at the tailors. Here was a man who had become his best self in the face of great adversity. He still didn’t know the full story of Eggsy’s Knighthood, but he knew that it had taken a lot of courage to come back to Kingsman after the shit-show of their last conversation. Eggsy’s eyes were wide and disbelieving, but his mouth was pulled into a wide, bright, smile- the edges of his gums showing just a tad. ‘Hello, Eggsy.’

         ‘Hello, Harry.’ Eggsy seemed to lean just a little bit forward, and Harry’s hand slid down to his shoulder, and Eggsy couldn’t hold himself back anymore. Between one moment and the next, Eggsy had lifted himself onto his toes and grasped desperately at Harry’s back. Eggsy’s breath was steady, but his hands were clenched tight in the fabric of Harry’s comfortable-yet-tacky jacket, and Harry couldn’t help but turn his head and breathe in deeply.

         ‘Thanks, Harry.’  It was whispered, and muffled further by fabric, but Harry heard it just the same.

         ‘For what?’

         ‘Everything. Nothing. I dunno, I just know I need to thank you.’

         ‘Well you’re quite welcome for everything nothing.’

         ‘Oh, fuck you; see if I thank you ever again.’ Eggsy pulled back, eyes bright but dry, and he and Harry locked eyes for a moment.

         ‘Let’s get you home.’

[thefatalmarksman]

okay so idk who gives a fuck but i have Some Thoughts on the new BL3 DLC in general, accompanied by some headcanon meta musings that are going to end up being poorly articulated because i’m tired and incredibly tipsy

- so first off, definitely a good DLC overall---wish it had been so much longer, but overall, incredibly fun. 7/10 because it was Definitely BorderlandsTM, but it didn’t bring a lot of new or unique things to the table. 

- just gotta say.. evil lilith’s boss felt like a kh fight. it was all the zooming around and darkness orbs and dark fire kinda aesthetics. #lilithisrikusmom

- squishy nasty body horror grossness feelin’ like an evil within game and honestly no complaints here

- also the locomobius??? ohhhhh fuck yes that was a good boss, like the entire sapphire’s run level was aaaahmazing

- it gave me krieg/maya food that i didn’t know i needed and i’m legit livin for it. 

- tbh i was worried that krieg’s Mental State would be made into a total joke because mental illness is sooo rarely handled well in media, but while we got some humorous commentary, i would never say that what we got was detrimental or hurtful towards folks with mental illness. in fact, the way it rounded out, the only reason that “psycho” krieg came into being was to protect krieg from his oppressors, and honestly??? DID stuff in media is always “lol this nice person has a Bad Person inside their head that just HURTS PEOPLE” but gosh that’s such a HORRIBLE way to misconstrue that mental illness, so honestly.. i’m pleased on this front.

soooooooo onto some probably disconnected but maybe possibly important thoughts that might (hopefully) tie into some later games (and a lot of this is based on “a-ha!” moments i had throughout the dlc that i didn’t jot down so hopefully they aren’t completely inaccurate):

- the implication that there is something “connecting” all of the psychos. as far as i can recall (and from some shaky research i’m doing on the wiki, which is never as reliable as i wish it could be), the “origin” of the psychos within the confines of the first bl game is that they were all prisoners (from the corporate wars, i want to say?? which is YET ANOTHER subject i want more on, GEARBOX????? >:( ), sent to mine on pandora, and after they went into these mines, came out mentally unstable with an obsession with the vaults. this means some kind of exposure to eridian influence---whether it was eridium itself, or eridian technology isn’t really clear, but whatever the case, it instilled in them this sense of reverence for the vaults---for the eridians

- i can only assume that psychos who may have been “created” post-bl1 were somehow imbued with the same sort of “insanity” (for lack of a better term) as their predecessors, for the sake of consistency in this headcanon 

- so, within the DLC, there’s this implication that all of the psychos are “connected,” according to one echo---that, even though all the prisoners who were experimented on were in different cells, they all had the same “personality” that came from the experiments

- the amount of eridian architecture within krieg’s mind is just a BIG INDICATOR of... yknow. eridian influence. duh. :|

- so is it that, somehow, eridian influence created some kind of.. single connecting consciousness, or a hivemind, between all of the psychos?? some kind of instinct to protect the vaults???

- jumping back a bit, i can’t even BEGIN to articulate the info-dump during the proving ground sequence in bl3 (which i feel should be MAIN STORY LINE STUFF???) because there were implications that 1) the eridians AREN’T gone, they are STILL around, they are WATCHING everything that is unfolding, and 2) humans are being TESTED, somehow, though at the behest of the eridians or the guardians themselves....... well, who knows.

- i’m getting this.......... idk, feeling??? that the guardians aren’t just puppets the BL world is perceiving them as and are PLOTTING to break free of their bondage under the eridians, and this “Psycho Connection” might have something to do with it. like, a whole collective of humans under a single thought to Serve The Vaults??? basically what the guardians have been doing this whole time

- alternately, there’s also the concept that psychos have just been exposed to a Truth Too Big To Handle and that cracked their psyche and that’s that on that, but..... i mean, that’s an easy enough thing to fall back on if they’re Too Weak to follow through with an Actually Cool Hivemind Plot

SO. What Does This Mean For Xigbar’s BL AU???

it’s all shaky thus far, and a rough concept that i could only DREEEAM to expand on because idk who would even be interested, buuuut...

- he’s developed this suspicion that the eridians are still around over all the thousands of years he’s been here. just little pieces of evidence he’s picked up on while satisfying his insatiable appetite for knowledge of the universe around him---which, at one point, the eridians DOMINATED. it’s possible the guardians knew before him but, let’s remember, luxu isn’t reeeeally a “guardian,” so he’s not a part of their “hivemind.” he’s just an “eridian” with guardian parts to keep him from deteriorating. plus he’s been doing a lot of... archiving for the master, so sometimes personal research takes a back seat to... yknow....... literally obeying the whims of the oracular Eye that got forcibly shoved into your socket. :|

- given i’ve inserted him in place of the watcher........ he could very well be on Team Fuck the Eridians. he’s had enough of this shit, he’s somewhat still following the rules that have been lain out for him but he’s also sneakily Playing His Own Game, and if that means molding the humans into being replacements for the guardians? sure, whatever. 

- but then again, if the master already knew all of this would unfold??? then it’s Not a Game of His Own Playing hahhaha.......... :|

- and like, sure, xigluxu ain’t 100% a guardian, but he’s been tasked with Some Semi-Immortal Bullshit, and if the guardians get the humans to replace them and the guardians can overthrow the eridians??? yknow what, that works. because fuck those guys, they never did HIM any favors

anyway that’s a whole bottle of wine sooooooo PEACE OUT 

...........for now :|

[ask-2p-austria-n-prussia]

Devil’s Little Angel Chapter Two: A Friend of a Friend

By the time I had arrived home, it was pouring down rain. Lightning flashed outside my window, and the sound of rolling thunder wasn't too far behind. I opened the window in my room just a crack so I could smell the fresh rain, and better hear the relaxing tapping of droplets on the side of the house. Turning around, I flopped onto my bed. Who knew watching a bunch of sweaty dudes who make me self conscious about myself bouncing a ball up and down a gym would make me so exhausted? Maybe Oliver was right. Getting out of the house every once and a while might be good for me....but I still don't like it. It's not like I ever have anyone to do anything with, so what's the point really? I don't really talk to any other people besides Flavio and Oliver; Flavio almost always has other plans, and Oliver's too head over heels at the moment to even think about doing anything else. And then there's my younger brother, Lutz. I don't really hang out with him that much. He's always doing something with his friends as well; though he does invite me along every once and a while. I usually decline though. I'd probably end up clinging to his side like a leech the whole time, and I don't want to do that to him. A lot of the things he is usually doing isn't in my particular interests either. A flash of light beamed through my window, followed by a loud crash, nearly knocking me off of my bed. It began to pour down harder outside, forcing me to shut my window. I yawned and looked at the clock on my phone. 10:30. It wasn't nearly close to what I time I usually went to sleep, especially on a Friday night. I grabbed my pillow and wrapped my arms around it, not even bothering to get under the covers. It didn't take more than a minute before I was sound asleep. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I awoke the next morning to the sound of my phone blowing up with text messages. I almost didn't even move to look at them, but the annoying sound of vibration against my hollow wood nightstand was unbearable for my ears to withstand. With a low groan, I grabbed it, squinting at the brightness of the screen. As the blurriness began to disappear from my eyes, I could finally see from whom the messages were coming from. Flavio. Dammit. I unlocked my phone and opened the messaging app. Most of them said something like "Bitch, I need details" or "Wake up dammit", and even the long and drawn out "GIIIIIILLEEEEEEEN." None of them provided a purpose as to why he so desperately needed my attention at ten in the morning though. I groggily answered him. "What's the matter? Details for what?" I threw my phone onto the bed, shoving my face back into my pillow. I hoped he wouldn't answer it quite yet and maybe I could close my eyes for a bit. But the speed texting demon answered as soon as my face planted into the soft fabric. "Oliver said a guy was giving you bedroom eyes last night!!!! Was he hot?! Was he tall?! Basketball players are usually hella tall." Bedroom eyes?! Who? What the hell Flavio? At first, I had no recollection of what Oliver had been talking about. I began to message back, but then it hit me like a tidal wave. HIM. My senses tingled as I began to remember what happened last night. His eyes, his smile, his scent, his strength, his warmth, all of it came back to me. My blood began to pound through my veins with nervousness. I started to panic. Oliver had gotten the wrong idea, and now he was flapping his gums to Flavio about it. "No, no! Nothing like that happened! I just accidentally ran into him outside, and we glanced at each other like once! Nothing more!" I responded frantically. "Oliver said he gave you a wink~ ;)))" What? .....oh.....that. About halfway through the game last night, a ball flew out of bounds and into the bleachers. I wasn't paying attention and it bounced right into my lap nearly knocking my teeth out. I swore it knocked one loose. I was panicking. I didn't know what to do with it; it was like when someone hands you their baby to hold but you really don't wanna hold it. And who do you think came to take it? Him. He extended a hand out to me with a smile. I quickly handed him the ball, and in return he winked and said: "Thanks, sugar~" I shivered a bit at the memory. "I don't know him and I'm never going to see him again so what does it matter anyways? It was a casual encounter with a stranger." That's right, that's all it was. An encounter with a stranger; someone I'll probably never see again. Besides, who would even want to see me again? I'm nothing special, I'm far from it actually. Extraordinarily ordinary. My phone buzzed again from under my pillow. "A stranger who seems to want to get to know you better~ Did you catch his name?" His name...his name...? "I think his name was Roland??? Something like that???" There was a pause. "Roland Edelstein?!!! What a catch~" "Wait, you know him?" "Not very well, but we've met before. I think I have his number though~! *gASP* Imma hook you two up~ ;D" "No, please don't do that." About five minutes went by. No answer. "Flavio, please don't." Still no answer. "Please?" Flavio replied. "Meet me at the fire hall at 7 o'clock sharp~ Dress nice~" Dammit. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I went through most of my day like I would always do. Play one online games, watch movies on Netflix, things like that. When six o'clock came around, I decided I should start getting ready for whatever Flavio was dragging me to. I closed my laptop and rolled out of bed, making my way to the bathroom. A large mirror cabinet hung above the sink, sitting right next to the door. I turned my head away from it, instead turning to the dresser beside it and pulling out a towel. A few moments later, I was practically cooking under the near boiling hot water. It was really nice to be able to take a hot shower for once. Lutz usually gets in here before me in the morning, leaving me with only a fraction of the hot water. I stood there for a bit, trying not to get too lost in my own though. "Dress nice~"  Flavio had said. I could practically hear him purring that with a honey sweet voice, with a hint of sinister intent. I sighed and looked at myself. Looking nice was certainly a challenge for me. I almost always had bags under my eyes, my clothes are worn and baggy, my posture was horrendous, and my hair never seemed to go in the right direction. And not to mention... I gently ran my fingers over the scars on my right arm, as well as the ones on my face and chest. They were from an accident that happened a long time ago. The scars it left have earned me a lot of stares from strangers, though the only ones they usually see are the ones on my face, since I try my best to hide the others. What happened to him? Did he get run over by a tractor? (Most of the time the comments aren't quite as bad as that last one though.) I've even frightened a few kids with my overall appearance. Whenever I catch someone staring, they usually try to smile it off. I more often than not offer a small smile back, to be polite. None of their smiles are ever genuine though; I can see pity in their eyes no matter how much they try to hide it. But...somehow Roland's felt...different. He didn't look at me as if I were odd, or misshapen. He didn't look at me as if I were a grungy nobody. He smiled upon me and treated me...nicely. My spine quivered at the thought of it. It made me almost think there was something wrong with him. Pushing that aside, I quickly got out of the shower and got dressed. The only nice thing I really had available was a black, long sleeve t-shirt and a pair of jeans. I put on belt as well, though Flavio might kill me for wearing a brown belt over black. I grabbed my phone and headed downstairs into the kitchen. "Whoa, who's the date, stud?" Lutz chuckled from the living room. He rested his elbow over the back of the couch, turning to face me. "Flavio," I muttered under my breath. Lutz smiled and nodded. "I see. Where's he dragging you off to this time?" "The fire hall? I have no idea what for though...." "Oh! I know! There's a fundraiser there tonight for some kid with cancer or something like that. There's supposed to have live music and a shit ton of food," Lutz stood up from the couch and walked closer to me. "If ya want I can drive you, I was planning on going at some point anyways." "Alright, I guess that works..." Lutz smiled and tussled my hair. "Coolio," he said before walking by me, running up the stairs and into his room. With Lutz now taking me, that gave me an extra half hour to do whatever. I sat on the couch and pulled out my phone. The slow and dull ticking of the wall clock echoed through the quiet room. I could hear the floorboards creak as Lutz moved around upstairs. I looked at the basement doorway and debated on whether I should go down or not. That's where Dad works. He's a craftsman, making homemade furniture and things of the like. The basement is almost always covered in sawdust and dry wood stain. My dad's a great guy to get along with most of the time, but when he's working, it's "Do Not Disturb Or Else". Lutz takes a lot after him, both in looks and personality. I was always told I was more like my mother. I never really knew her besides pictures and things like that. She died after Lutz was born, about two years after I was born. I'm always told that I have her eyes and calm disposition by almost every relative I've met. Lutz soon came bounding back down the stairs, twirling his keys around his finger. "Alright dude, leggo." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The fire hall was packed with people. Way too many people for my particular liking. I'm totally glad that so many people came to support the cause, but it was making me claustrophobic; even more so than at the game last night. As soon as I got there I couldn't wait for it to be over. I've had enough social interaction for a week under my standards. Lutz began to wander off as soon as we got in the door, leaving me chasing after him. I hadn't seen Flavio yet, and I didn't want to get left behind. Lutz was talking to two older men, who seemed to be aged around mid-forties. He introduced me to them when I came over, and I just smiled and waved awkwardly. They apparently were the shop guys that Lutz takes his car to for inspection and repairs. I stood there for a bit listening to their conversation while scanning the room for the man who dragged me here in the first place. Maybe he ditched me...I thought to myself sadly. At least I had Lutz here, so I wasn't completely by myself. A long line of baskets lined the farthest wall of the room for the auction. Tables were scattered throughout the room, and speakers were set up in the front with the local radio station playing. The smell of the food was incredible, which made me hungry, but the dessert table in the back made me even hungrier. I was so caught up in the whole thing, I didn't notice someone walk up behind me, until a deep throated chuckled spooked me. I jumped and turned around, looking up at the man. A gleaming white smile and fiery eyes looked down upon me. "My, my. I didn't know a sinner like me could get so close to an angel~" he purred. ______________________

I promise it gets better. ;;;;-;;;;;

Wattpad: oddartist

[tialovestelevision]

Carpe Noctem

Hello, gentle readers. I’m Tia’s dragon - I write under ruckafangirl here on tumblr, on the rare occasions I actually write anything for tumblr - and I’m going to be covering a couple of episodes for my princess while she’s in the back recovering from an overdose of gloom and misery brought on by too much grimdark. Let’s all try to get along and do our best while we sort out the seething mess that is this episode, shall we?

1. We open on the Hyperion and a jumpscare from Fred and minor social friction with Cordy. I really feel for Fred here - she’s artlessly trying for some bonding with the group particularly Cordy (the only other woman in the group) and failing at it because Pylea. There’s an interesting structural echo here - in an episode about boundaries and unwelcome intrusions, we start with Fred scaring Cordy with questionably welcome nearness. We’ll come back to that in a bit.

2. In spite of Fred’s musing about how deep Angel’s reading habits are, he’s reading the local paper’s community section and getting hyped about a Charlton Heston double feature. The thud with which it lands is notable. Fred, however, is excited. Great little subtle bit of acting from David here - the way in which he proceeds to bother everyone else about leaving has the subtle effect of suggesting he’s uncomfortable with going alone with Fred but wants the company enough to go along with her coming anyway. He also continues Angel’s habit of talking too much when he’s trying to cover for social awkwardness.

3. Switching scenes to a hot (I think? I don't really get male attractiveness) guy in bed with a couple of women who are ready to take a break from the sex we’re supposed to believe they’ve been having. Also, that’s a terrible way to treat a martini. For which he is duly punished by the realization that he has to go by way of melting everything inside his skin with a mystical incantation. Fun touch here: the vibe between the women and the guy (them hesitant for more but overall willing, him pushing) would form a nice mirror image to Angel and Fred in the previous scene if the supporting cast they hired to do this bit were better at their jobs. As it is, the corny dialogue and mediocre acting mean you have to really look for it.

4. Wes is suffering through Fred’s replay of the evening with Angel. I particularly like her observation about the popcorn - active consent in food sharing, she’s into it. Also traditional masculinity props like walking on the street side and holding doors for her. Put a pin in that, because we’re coming back to it at the end. “You know that awkward kind of quiet?” Why yes, Fred, yes he does. Now.

5. Cordy now wants to a Talk with Angel about Fred’s crush. Which is a bit that reads a little weirdly, because the script obviously wants us to treat this as an Important Moment, but David is sitting there with a look on his face that says “I know all this already and urgently don’t want to admit it to myself.” His delivery of the line “it was just a movie” on the heels of his awkwardness in the earlier scene particularly sells the idea that this is a guy who’s perfectly aware that Fred is crushing on him and is urgently trying to pretend otherwise so he doesn’t have to deal with the social awkwardness of his latest protectee’s feelings. Then Cordy launches into a list of his virtues and defects, and the scene switches tones very abruptly into a “smile, smile, object” gag that seems to be primarily about Angel feeling vulnerable about his inability to have sex. More awkward silence. Hey, look, Cordy is stomping all over his boundaries by literally walking him into the room with Fred! Yet more awkward silence. Hey, saved by the bodies hitting the floor! Angel is avoiding conflict by throwing himself at his work.

6. Hey, look, more unwelcome social contact - Gavin following Lilah around and showing off how impressive he is. She doesn’t care for him and plans to make his life more difficult. Possibly Angel. Possibly both.

7. Mooooore awkward silence during the briefing. Followed by leaving Fred standing by herself, talking to herself. Because Cordy is happy to make a big show of worrying about Fred’s feelings when she sees the possibility of something bad happening with Angel, but proactively engaging the shut-in? Nah. Too much work.

8. Cordy brings up professional/personal boundaries and drops the idea in mid-sentence to go hit on buff guys. O...kay? Where are you going with this, script? Now Angel is fast-talking his way past Phil, who is obviously not overly endowed in the brains department (stereotypes about men at gyms much, show?). More Cordy hitting on gym guys and collecting their home numbers under false pretenses. Which they are buying because apparently they don’t have two brain cells to rub between them. Meanwhile, Angel has picked up on someone watching the pilates class from a retirement community because... he’s good at identifying creepy voyeuristic behavior during the night? Awkward symbolism is awkward.

9. Creepy Marcus Roscoe is creepy. Though the business card thing doesn’t make Angel seem any less creepy. He’s pouring on the charm, but there’s something hard under that. There’s a lot of nice detective work in this scene - Angel picking up things that don’t quite fit in their context and trying to find a model that works for them - and the chemistry between the actor they have playing Marcus and Angel is pretty good. Angel’s arrogance about the body-swap spell is played pretty nicely - he’s counting on being a vampire to protect him and it doesn’t.

10. David does an interesting job of playing Marcus here - the way he’s trying to get used to the new body and enjoying it at the same time, the way he really creepily looks Cordy up and down. The gap between what he’s saying and what Cordy’s reading him as saying because she knows Angel and thinks of him a certain way resonates with the earlier conversation between Angel and Cordy about Fred - what’s actually being said and what each person thinks is being said by the other are very different, and both people are drawing their conclusions based on what they want to believe. You can actually see Cordy pick up a vibe from him and dismiss it because “that’s not what Angel could possibly mean.”

11. So we get some fun watching Marcus trip over his lack of knowledge, but he’s back on his creepy track in short order with a not-very-clever pass at Cordy. We’re paying off the conversations about workplace and personal boundaries here, though admittedly not very subtly. They do an interesting play on traditional excuses for workplace harassment here - Marcus-as-Angel says something totally inappropriate and Cordy immediately assumes he’s making fun of her for the pending Fred conversation because (again) she categorizes him as “safe” in her head. There’s also a pretty funny gag using Marcus’s unfamiliarity with the situation and Fred’s nickname to give him the impression Angel is gay (Angel’s clothes help) that mostly steers clear of being played for homophobia, so that’s nice. It would be nicer if we ever actually got any queer representation in Angel which is SET IN LA, but you know, whatever.

12. Meanwhile, Angel wakes up in Marcus’s body and we have some sight-gags about the infirmities of age. He calls the hotel and Marcus-as-Angel gives him some shit and says some lovely misogynistic crap about Cordelia that makes us all want to punch him. Aaand now the health-care worker is walking Angel back to his room and giving us a quick fill-in about Marcus’s streak of body-stealing. Nice fridge horror moment there.

13. So, Marcus tore the office apart and then fell asleep in a chair? Logic is a bit lacking. And now Cordy’s holding out on the casefile until he has the talk. With Fred. Who he presumes Wesley must be because English and making tea equals gay? Ugh. It builds heat for the villain effectively, but there’s something uncomfortable about the show going there with Wes’s “questionable masculinity” when Buffy played with it so often in a pejorative way. Put a pin in that while I try to reduce my blood pressure.... the actors at least play it well.

14. And now Gunn’s back and Marcus is adding being a racist prick and rude to delivery-people to his resume of awful. Everyone thinks it’s weird that Angel is eating (and whose food is he eating, by the way?) but nobody seems to be paying it any attention. We find out that the women in that first Marcus-related scene were paid escorts, which brings back the work/personal boundary idea again and also makes it a lot more uncomfortable (and raises my opinion of the actresses and scripting in the scene) in retrospect. Issues of performance, boundaries and expectation at play there - Marcus is paying for sex and expecting a lot more of it than is normally implicit in the transaction, but playing off his borrowed physique and male privilege to run right over that boundary. Speaking of boundaries, Marcus’s smokescreen about privacy points to the way that private investigation steps all over those and Gunn is echoing Cordelia’s earlier workplace-related creepiness with wanting to interview the escorts. What’s funny when talking about physically fit men comes off not funny at all when talking about women in a traditionally vulnerable trade. Bad Gunn! Bad! And Wesley is getting in on the badness, too. Thank you, Cordy, for at least pointing that out. Aaand Marcus is creepy. They’re now leaving him alone in the hotel. That ain’t gonna go well.

15. Angel in distress. Cute baby. Evidence being shredded. Yeah, not going well. And now we’re about to have our first scene with Marcus-as-Angel and Fred, which is enough to make my skin try to crawl off on its own. Drama is drama, but do we really have to play the vulnerability of the traumatized woman whose coding is “Southern,” “young” and “romantically innocent” for cheap chills? That’s obviously the point of the episode, but it’s frankly not a good scripting decision.

16. A couple of things from this scene are worth calling out. First, Marcus uses the same pick-up line on Fred as he did on Cordy. Cordy reads it as a joke because she sees Angel as safe and a buddy. Fred takes it with flustered excitement because she reads Angel as safe and chivalrous. When Lilah comes into the scene, it breaks the tension a little, but knowing Fred is upstairs and about to go out with this man who she thinks is safe and isn’t is terrifying.

17. About the Lilah scene: Marcus is a creeper with a one-note schtick. Also, watching Lilah trying to read what’s going on is fascinating. Quick cut to Angel having a heart attack in Marcus’s body instead of that, which is annoying, but at least Lilah’s still there when we get back. The transition to sex here is a little strange - are we meant to think that Lilah is really buying this as Angel? - but I’m honestly just so relieved that this is killing time that we might spend seeing Fred get creeped on that I don’t care. But hey, them doing it in the office after she’s done him a favor to get back at her workplace rival at least makes the shredding of personal and professional boundaries really, really blatant. Aaand there’s Fred. Thank you, creepy Marcus-man, for averting that shit with your crappiness. But now you know you’re a vampire, so that’s going to lead to other creepiness.

18. Cordy makes a cheap prostitute joke. Boo, Cordy. And now Fred is having emotional pain, and I’m meant to sympathize, but I’m still too busy with relief. Nice callback to having different conversations here, though - Cordy thinks Fred is broken up about one thing, and she’s actually talking about something totally different.

19. Now Marcus is out cruising the town looking for blood? Sex? Both? We get a weird nightclub scene which is played without dialogue, entirely on stereotypes, and now a woman is being saved from murder by Marcus discovering Angel’s other superpowers. This plays very nicely with pointing out just how terrifying Angel’s powers set is when he isn’t driving it. Put pin number three in that thought while we go to the reveal!

20. Wes puts it all together finally after some unpleasant alpha-male commentary from Gunn and a gag about Buffy and Angel from Cordy. Dramatic rush to the retirement community to save Angel-as-Marcus from Marcus-as-Angel’s attempt to secure his spot in the undead body forever. This is an okay sequence, playing interestingly on the fear of patricide, but it wouldn’t really work if David didn’t do such a fantastic job of playing Marcus as a bad Angelus rip-off. It has a nice feel-good payoff of friends being the key to saving you and Wesley gets a good moment, but mainly it feels like we’re wrapping up the show in a couple minutes because we’re running out of runtime. Pacing is not this show’s friend. Hey, look, it’s the hero walk from the opening sequence!

21. Now we get Angel and Fred talking in the garden. At least Fred already has all the facts because Cordelia got there first, and Angel is self-aware enough to be glad of that. Aaand now Fred’s sharing her pain. Which is promptly interrupted by the news that Buffy’s alive, and I’d be a lot happier about that if it weren’t being played to make me feel for Fred’s competitive heartbreak. Aaaand credits. Done. That wasn’t so bad, was it?

Analysis: Yes. Yes it was. To start with the pure technical question of this as an hour of television - what the hell happened with their sense of pacing? The writing’s not terrible (its use of symbolism and theme is actually decent) and the actors give it their all, but it rambles along with all the tension coming from our fear of what might happen to Fred and/or Angel in Marcus’s body and then fails to have a climax worth mentioning. Its comedy is only funny in a wince inducing way, the drama falls flat and it doesn’t even really commit to the horror premise of our female characters being in danger from a misogynistic creep in Angel’s body - it brings in Lilah and then the random woman in the bar to take those hits instead, as if somehow that’s more acceptable (one of them’s an evil lawyer and the other is cheating on her boyfriend with a hot guy, they CLEARLY have it coming /sarcasm). We’re left with some mild workplace harassment of Cordy, a wince-worthy scene with Marcus-as-Angel and Wes that hinges on stereotypes about gay men and heartbreak from Fred (our designated Innocent Female Victim) that we’re supposed to care about while being relieved that her ‘virtue’ was protected. Ugh. Not a good show.

But we should pick up those three pins from earlier for a minute and at least talk about the premise itself.

A) Angel is depicted by Fred as a chivalrous model for men, which is why she has feelings about him. Cordy says similar things about him, then complicates it by pointing out all the ways he doesn’t fit it (history of violence, lack of sexual availability, etc).

B) Wes’s masculinity versus Angel’s is a running thing in the story - Marcus reads him as “less manly” and therefore gay, Gunn makes jokes about Angel reclaiming the desk sexually, we’re expected to read something slighting about Wes into Fred talking to Wes about Angel at such length.

C) Marcus-as-Angel is a lesson in how scary power is when it’s being driven by someone without restraint, yes, but it’s also about what Marcus does with that power - he beats up other men and assaults women. Pay attention to what he says to Angel in their last scene together - “You don’t deserve that body,” he says, as if Angel’s unwillingness to assert his physical and sexual prowess is a sin.

So what we’ve got here, a step or two down, is a contrast of two archetypes of masculinity with a nod to a third: the competitive, pumped-up, strength-flaunting sexual predator and the chivalric, chaste knight who rushes about saving women from monsters and relies on his friends, plus nerdy English guys who make tea and whose masculinity is questioned. Everything the writers show us is designed to show off how icky the first is and engage our admiration for the second, while making snide jokes about Wesley. On one level, that’s actually really problematic - chivalric concepts of masculinity are almost always tied up in ideas about “worthy” women (writers, I’m looking at you and the way you set Lilah up for sexual assault here), and they’re frequently a cover for a lot of implicit sexual violence. But let’s credit the writers with actually having one good point, whether they mean to or not, and jump off from “are there any men who aren’t dogs” (thanks Cordelia) to try reading this as a critique of toxic masculinity. Because what’s good about Angel, in this reading, isn’t his strength or his good looks or his cool car - it’s his geeky love of old movies, his willingness to admit his weakness in the conversation with Fred at the end, his reliance on his friends, his willingness to use his power (metaphor for male privilege much?) to help others without expecting thanks. What’s bad about him is his macho posturing (it gets him into trouble in the first place), his lack of communication (avoiding talking with Fred, his going off without talking to Cordy because he’s being snippy about her talking to the gym boys) and his insecurity about his sexual problems. In other words, it’s the ways he’s still tied up with the same conventional hyper-masculinity that Marcus is willing to kill people to embody again (and that we're making fun of Wesley for not measuring up to, but let's stay on point). Which brings me back to the hallway scene and David playing Marcus as Angel when he’s stalking Angel in Marcus’s body, and how reminiscent that is of Angelus.

Because the dirty secret of Buffy Season 3 and a lot of Angel is this: Angelus is predatory masculinity - the same predatory masculinity that Marcus hams up playing at - embodied. We meet him for the first time as a metaphor for a boyfriend turned abusive in Innocence, and from the first scene when he’s callous to Buffy after her first sexual experience, he’s playing on every social trope we have for a man who mistreats women. He’s manipulative, cruel, obsessed with conquest, basically the whole list. So we take as our hero, in Angel, a chivalric man from another time who’s walking around with all this dark ugliness of masculinity just one moment of orgasm away from ... wait a minute. Oh dear.

Now we’re back to being problematic again, aren’t we?

I could do six more paragraphs on the way that the series privileges certain kinds of pain (and certain people’s pain) over others, but I think I’ve taxed y’all’s patience long enough. Thanks for hanging with me today, and I’ll see you all around the web.

[earthdeep]

so I actually finished fe echoes shadows of valentia after *checks back through blog* about one and a half years. or rather, I got totally fed up on my first playthrough and restarted a few days ago bc I was sick of having it semi-complete. I have Thoughts so... under the cut

might as well get the technical stuff out the way. 

loved the artstyle. but the ui fucking sucked. all the important numbers and stuff is WAAAAAY too small to make room for character portraits and the layout of a lot of options is just... weird. oh and there’s no way to look at a zoomed out map and it’s a pain in the arse when I just wanna check where the fucking enemies are.

combat system is... definitely interesting for a fire emblem game. I enjoyed it overall, but it felt a bit lopsided. no weapon durability (yay), no weapon triangle (eh), magic users learn spells in character specific orders (hm), 90% of bow using enemies can’t do shit against fliers (wtf?), absurdly high crit rates (ugh)... lance users ended up near useless by endgame. I had a single one who could hit hard enough to take down an act 5 enemy, and he was too slow to chase them. meanwhile I could keep my archers back way out of enemies’ range and crit them, or field my many mages who could do massive damage AND heal each other constantly. srsly, all hail our lady and saviour delthea, who by the final boss had 30 atk and could oneshot almost every enemy with her lowest level spell. she is the best, and I love her very much.

there was a lot of other fidgety stuff especially on the overworld that really got on my nerves after a while. I’ve never been fond of the point hopping system that’s fairly common in tactical rpgs, but echoes has the infuriating variation that forces u to fight every respawning enemy u cross. fuck those graveyards. fuck them to hell. especially fuck them when I have to pass them so often to complete sidequests in the villages and such. but at least dungeon exploring is still fun. well, I say that, and it leads into another bother.

fates, the previous fe game, did a lot to improve the experience of casual players such as myself. the protagonist being allowed to fall in battle without an insta game over, for example. phoenix mode was nice for replays too, tho since echoes was preeeeetty linear that’s a moot point for me. echoes decides no, actually, fuck that, and also fuck the battle saves introduced in awakening. ur gonna work through duma’s tower for an hour with no way to save and reload and if one of the ten million enemies in there knocks down celica ur losing all ur progress without even a chance to use the in-universe save scum device. bc fuck u.

incidentally, duma’s tower is where I quit during my first playthrough.

buuuuuuuut there’s more to games than mechanics. there’s story too! and... hoo boy. there’s two major sticking points for me that ultimately make it a disappointment. spoilers ahead for literally the entire game.

number one: the broken aesop of alm’s arc. ie, fernand was right.

so, fire emblem games have a lot of birth destiny and divine rights to rule and all that jazz. while it can be just a background fact of life (awakening and imo path of radiance fell into this) or a major problem that causes protagonist centred morality out the whazoo (Y HALLO THAR FATES’ CONQUEST ROUTE), echoes tries to go a different route, especially in the first act. alm butts up against those who don’t think he should be allowed to be a knight, let alone lead an army bc he’s of common birth. even those on his side (*cough*clive) struggle to hold noble and common life of equal worth. but here’s alm, the poster child of destiny caring not for trivialities such as parentage. he’s a good fighter and a good leader, and proves that even a commoner can become a hero!

except they can’t. alm isn’t a commoner. he’s a prince. he could never vanquish duma if he hadn’t noble blood in his veins, bc the falchion is locked in a vault only royals can enter, and is a sword only he can wield. were he truly a commoner, he would have failed. and all this would’ve been easily forgotten fridge logic if the characters hadn’t kept bringing the even a commoner bs all the way with them until he found out who his dad was! fernand, the primary voice for this shit, doesn’t die until after seeing alm revealed!

frankly, alm being a lost prince was purely a detriment to the story. oh no, he killed his dad? who fucking cares. blood is the only thing they share. I’ve seen this dude like twice before I cheesed his ass by warping my best units up to his section of wall and zapping him. half his dialogue is only available post-patricide. alm had more of a connection to Asshole Cousin Berkut that to him. also, his plan for preparing for the end of the world as is stood was one of the worst I’ve ever seen.

but there’s also a more fun point. number two: the straight agenda!

ugggggh. listen. on my first round through, I joked a lot abt all the unrequited love going around. and honestly there’s quite a lot of interactions that I found genuinely nice. faye and leon being open about their feelings and accepting they aren’t requited, and alm and valbar being honest and comfortable with that. or delthea mentioning her crush on clive to his sister and having mathilda immediately pointed out. or like, clive and mathilda’s entire relationship during the game. I like me a lovey dovey battle couple.

but then the epilogue slides hit. why the fuck would mathilda become a Good Housewife(TM) after marrying a man who encouraged her as they fought alongside each other. delthea gets the same treatment and settles down with an unnamed husband and becomes “normal” in her slide. then u have mae and boey who get married and have children and argue AND THAT IS IT. like guys, I like me some rivals to lovers as much as the next lesbian, but u can’t be said to have kids that give u more reasons to fight and have me believe this is any way healthy. please find a replacement for celica bc u do NOT work together on ur own. *sigh* at least clair and gray have a nice marriage where they’re both free to be themselves. in my game anyway, idk if she hooks up with tobin if they get higher support, but when he’s an archer and she’s a frontline fighter, they never had a chance.

and then there’s alm and celica.

I could’ve liked alm. I really could. while his base is still Default Fantasy Hero, I like his comments when u examine things, I like that he has the nerve to stand up to clive when he’s on his bullshit. but dude. u met ur fake cousin celica briefly when u were kids, got along well, then obsessed abt her for like a decade. get. over. it.

same to u celica. u were fucked in my eyes from the beginning bc I find devout characters actively dull, but come on. u made a friend who had a birthmark like urs. as far as ur concerned, that’s all. stop reading the script and try learning the politics of running that kingdom ur set to inherit.

beyond the “alm...” “celica...” wistful calls, and the forces of destiny/the writers, I could not tell u what draws these characters together. the one time they’re not staring into the middle distance at each other, they’re in a petty fight that makes celica look like a spoiled child (and keeps her there until after she sells her fucking soul to the shadiest guy in the fucking universe? celica. celica cmon.) like why do these people like each other. with as much as destiny pulled them together rather than human connection, they may as well have been siblings instead.

on my first run, I genuinely thought that was where they were headed. I got given “alm can lift royal sword” and “celica ‘lost’ brother in fire” and put together that OH! they’re brother and sister! like mila and duma! bc it’s history repeating itself! and then conrad showed up and I was confused. also, iirc alm genuinely believed celica was a cousin of his while they were interacting as kids and didn’t learn she was just in Fantasy Witness Protection until later, so for that to turn into poorly telegraphed romance is just... ew.

anyway. at least most of the characters were good. can’t even pick a favourite tbh. I like clair a lot, and tobin and gray. mae and delthea are both fun and adorable. the valbar/leon/kamui trio are great and chill dudes. I even like silque despite being the nun type, bc she just tries so hard and I appreciate that. oh and sonya’s very lovely with genny and DESERVED BETTER THAN BECOMING A LITERAL SOULLESS HUSK IN THE EPILOGUE AS SHE TRIES TO HELP OTHERS, FUCK U ECHOES.

also there are definite immersion hiccups. oh, the land’s barren and we’re facing famine, huh? *stares at trees full of oranges* *stares at wells full of water* *stares at baskets full of fish* *stares at inventory full of meat and vegetables* *stares at knife that can produce food if I kill an enemy with it...*

wait. I turned a lot of enemies into food with that knife. like my inventory for celica’s army filled up with it. was... was I eating people the whole time?! D:

anyway, fe15, 7.5/10 too much swamp