#anyway. messy family dynamics >>>

[leifyposting]

“i will be better than my mother” not as a declaration of spite but as an act of tribute. you know?

not simply “i will be better than my mother because she messed me up and i refuse to be like her”

but instead “i will be better than my mother because she taught me to be, because she instilled these values into me even though she sometimes failed to live up to them”

“i will be better than my mother because she laid the foundation for me, because she shed the wrongs of the past as best as she could even if she could not lose all of them”

“i will be better than my mother because she would want me to be”

[spectral-honey]

So I've seen lots of people having shadow live with agent stone after sonic 3 and I have this image in my head of eggman returning in Sonic 4 ready for a soap opera-esque dramatic reunion with his favorite sycofriend and shadows sitting at stones counter like "what are your intentions with my father."

[constantvariations]

I have been trying ever since I first watched rwby to picture canon Tauradonna. The dates they'd go on, the hobbies they'd share, what intimacies they'd indulge

And I can't

There's just no romantic chemistry between them no matter how many "my darlings" the writers throw in last minute. While each character have qualities that make them attractive, there's nothing that truly shows why or how they're attracted to each other

Hell, the only answer the comics can give for why Blake was into Adam was the "I can fix him" mentality, which. Gross, but that's still more than anything we get for why Adam likes Blake. Maybe they both like sushi? She just fights real good? Who knows, man

As individuals, I can gleam an idea of the kind of lovers they'd be, but together? Does not compute

[cornertheculprit]

okay so i talked in the tags of this post about how i think apollo and thalassa would have a sort of distant-ish relationship after a reveal scenario and i do stand by that but you know something i've also been thinking about because it's fun. how amara and apollo would interact. because she's dhurke's wife (well, widow now) and nahyuta's mother and in the timeline we were given they pretty much JUST missed meeting each other. apollo got sent to the states and then it seemed like almost immediately afterwards amara went on the run with dhurke. and because of that i would imagine that she did in fact know of apollo's existence—even if dhurke or datz didn't mention him at all (which i find extremely unlikely), nahyuta had only just been separated from his brother and he was a kid at the time. and kids are bad at hiding things. not to mention that the picture of dhurke, nahyuta and apollo is a thing that exists (and also dhurke literally says that he's got way more pictures of apollo than just that) and it's very likely that amara could've seen it and asked about it (and also, in the game, she does say to apollo: "…But I should not be surprised, considering you learned from… him." with "him" being dhurke. She Knows). and unlike apollo's distant questioning about jove and thalassa during turnabout revolution, when he prods at dhurke about finding a new partner, he actually hesitates for a second when he asks about being introduced to her. like he got shy or something:

Apollo: …Oh, so that's it! You're hiding a woman's photo up your sleeve. You don't have to keep secrets like that from me, Dhurke. You're an eligible bachelor now. But you'll… introduce her to me at some point, right?

he genuinely wanted to be introduced to whoever dhurke's partner was. and now that apollo's staying in khura'in i do wonder about them because there does exist an emotional connection (not to each other necessarily, but to their shared family. her husband's son/his father's wife & his brother's mother) that just. wouldn't be present with thalassa? apollo and trucy care about each other so much obviously but they've still only known each other for two years and were raised totally separately. this is a whole other thing. and like i'm also definitely not making this some sort of thing about "amara is basically apollo's mom because of the fact that she's dhurke's wife" because she's absolutely not and neither of them would think that way. for all they've Heard of each other they ALSO don't Know each other. and also like i said in the tags of that post: apollo does not need a parent. he's an adult. he reconciled with dhurke because he wanted him back in his life, not because he needed him like a child would. but he did also want to be properly introduced to dhurke's partner (and she's going to be around and present now! she's nahyuta's mom after all!) and i think because of that, he and amara would eventually grow to have a pretty friendly relationship with each other (despite their first meeting during the trial. lmao). i think it'd make sense at least

[corellianhounds]

no im sorry but now that i know one of the redacted wips is one of the bad batch as a dad I MUST know at least which one it is 😭

Hahaha no I get it, I know it’s kind of a tease to put it on the list if I’m going to be cagey about it. Mostly it’s because idk how it’ll be received and I don’t want people being snide in my inbox about the choice of character/topic

Anyway it’s Tech lol

[talentforlying]

music you would not expect to give me muse for constantine, and yet here we are:

mean girls obc recording

the femme sci-fi/cosmic horror playlist i created for a short story about autocannibalistic robot lesbians

jagged little pill obc recording

playlist called "white dad in a hawaiian button-up" that starts with margaritaville and ends with the monkees

east european hyperpop

falsettos 2016 cast recording but only trina's songs (and also the 1992 video clip of michael rupert's marvin running back and forth flinging chairs onto the stage after he loses at chess and needs to help set up furniture for the next scene)

[dulcewrites]

TW

When I was an HARDCORE team black fan, I was into that then over the months, by learning stuff from Fire and Blood and reading posts, then shifting my interests in general made me realize how messy is the Targaryen's dinasty.

The Targaryens aren't cool people that will do anything for the family but THEIR HOUSE, THEIR LEGACY: they are blood supremacist, misogynistic people that harmed each other for the throne and they are supposed to be FAMILY?!

Reminds me of the writer's explanation regard dragons: They aren't friendly creatures, They are WAR MACHINES, THEY ARE GOING TO DESTROY WESTEROS and if that's not a metaphor of the Targaryens' dynamics, I don't know.

Also I drifted away from Hotd fics in general for the whiteness(🤣kinda tired to hear about Visenya and Aemma get into it with Aemond) Alicent's villanization(I deleted a bunch of fics because it was always: " Nyra is a great mother and a feminist while Alicent is abusive and misogynistic")a child bride that for the love she felt for her children, she started a war and people there will be like: "well Rhaenyra wouldn't harm her children.."

She demanded a child to be tortured,let's not talk about her husband who hates Hightowers and sent blood and cheese to murder and rape a child.

Ah also Daemon abandoned his wife to save Nettles, her supposed daughter; while Nyra was losing her mind and grieving the death of his children(Malewife indeed)

So I don't know why Alicent wouldn't trust any of them???hmmm seems pretty clear for me.

I’d honestly get it, and then at the very least would know to avoid it, if people would tag properly/be honest about what they are writing. Tag it Alicent bashing and call it a day lmao. Like I said in the tags of the post I made, it’s just so disingenuous to have fics claiming to be fix its where you see Alicent being the sole blame for everything while all the men (namely Daemon and Viserys since they are ‘team black’) get turned into plucky tv sitcom dads lmao. Or fics where for some reason Alicent’s children would hate her or Alicent is some cunt for standing in the way of ‘love’. It’s misogyny really, bc nothing Alicent has done would even rank her in the top 5 worst characters. And that goes for the book and show. You’re fixing the timeline by punishing/shitting on the child bride and not the creep who married her, maritally raped her and ruined his daughter’s claim in the process?? Yeah makes perfect sense

Imo it seems easier and frankly more fascinating to actually lean into the family dynamics that plague Targaryens as a whole, and BOTH team green and team black in specific. We literally get Rhaenyra in the first seen of the show saying that the only thing that can bring down the house of the dragon is the house itself. Turning team black into the Brady brunch does so much disserve to their characters as a whole. Idk if I was a targ stan or even someone who wanted to write for team black, which I do not and don’t see myself ever being, I would much rather just run with the messiness 🤷🏽‍♀️

Plus, like you said, the overwhelming amount of whiteness in fics is exhausting. This goes for literally every fandom under the son unfortunately. But it’s compounded in fantasy/sci-fi related media fandoms bc people hide behind bs reasons like ‘historical accuracy’ or ‘well the author [insert something the author never said]’. Mind you, they have no problem writing about Dragon and witches and shit

[satisfactuality]

back on my bullshit about the rat grinders as the bad kids' shadow-selves but family dynamics this time

gorgug has incredibly loving parents who were willing to give up their extended families for him; we know mary ann is incredibly close with her grandmother, so push that a little further and she's being raised more by her extended family than her parents most of the time

fig has a whole polycule of parents trying their best to give her the support and structure that she needs but failing because they're complicated messy people themselves despite how much they love her; i think ruben has parents that have all the resources and means to be great parents but they have no interest in doing so

riz loves his mom more than anything and you can tell he would change who he fundamentally is if it made her life easier (but he can't because he wouldn't be sklonda's son if he could); kipperlilly genuinely wishes her parents life was more difficult or tragic or that they were categorically different people so it would benefit her

kristen's parents are fundamentally bad people, largely because of their devotion to the helioic church, but they are objectively one of the most stable households, in a very nuclear-family don't look under the surface kind of way; buddy's parents had to have had him young because of him being the same age as fig, and i choose to believe they left the church after having him but left him with his grandparents because of that perceived stability (also, additionally, i choose to believe buddy's grandparents are his maternal grandparents, and buddy's mom gave him her maiden name when he was born)

fabian's parents love him dearly but they never should have had a kid so they use money as a way of hiding their neglect (and frankly, abuse) because he's more of a thing or idea to them; i think ivy has parents that were too poor to ever afford to have a kid but did anyway because they loved the idea of being parents and their neglect of her is a necessity to keep up with the bills associated with having a kid

the abernant's would (and have tried to) sacrifice both of their daughters if they thought it would improve their social standing; i think conversely the hakinvar's would be willing to sacrifice anyone else to get their son ahead

[goldenlikedayl1ght]

what is this feeling? | m. murdock

MAJOR DAREDEVIL: BORN AGAIN SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT!!!!!

a/n: here's my swing at an angsty but cute daredevil born again fic!! hope y'all like it, i think it's alright although the pacing is kinda meh, but. oh well! i like it so i hope you do too. enjoy!! warnings: uhm. SPOILERS FOR DDBA!!!!!!!!!! please head that warning!! lots of fighting, yearning, enemies to lovers, matt is mean and has a moment where he yells at her. then theres a lot of hurt/comfort, lots of softness, a bit of making out. i dunno it's what i got! lots of cursing, strange office behavior, matt and reader have an odd dynamic, kinda implied age gap? wordcount: 3.8k summary: you're pretty sure your boss hates you. pairing: dd:ba!matt murdock x reader now playing: what is this feeling? - wicked "what is this feeling?/fervid as a flame?/does it have a name?/yes/loathing/unadulterated loathing."

All Matt does is mope.

It annoys Kirsten deeply.

He was the one who wanted to open this firm with her, after..

Well, everything.

Maybe mope is the wrong word. Matt’s not moping, he’s mourning. 

Mourning everything, even the things Kirsten doesn’t know about—Mourning Foggy, mourning Daredevil, mourning the relationship he had with Karen, mourning the firm.. Mourning the life he had. Mourning the person he had become.

So Matt throws everything he has into Murdock & McDuffie, because he’s not Daredevil anymore. He’s not anyone’s friend. What else is there?

But it’s starting to have a negative impact on his work.

Because all he does is work! All he does is talk to clients, do paperwork, talk in court, and mourn. He’s beginning to slip. He’s not sleeping, he’s barely eating. His work is suffering because of it, and Kirsten has not come this far to let Matt falter like this.

She knows he’s grieving. She knows he misses Foggy. Misses his entire life. But she knows this isn’t sustainable.

So, she hires you.

You’re a twenty something year old English Major, fresh out of college, with.. no real idea of what you want to do. And no job.

Kirsten, a family friend, tells you her new law firm needs an office assistant. The pay’s pretty good, she tells you, and the office is pretty. All you must do is get Mr. Murdock to his appointments.

Get him coffee.

Tell him a joke.

Ignore how he ignores you.

You show up to your first day of work with a bright smile, a donut for your new boss, and ambition.

Kirsten opens Matt’s door without knocking, smiling as she steps in.

“Who’s this?” he wonders.

“Our new office assistant,” You try to ignore the frown that tugs at his lips when he finds this out.

You hold out your hand to him, giving him your name. He doesn’t stand from his chair when he shakes your hand.

“Well, I’ll leave you two to talk, I have a meeting with a client,” And before either of you can say anything, Kirsten is gone.

“Listen, I—”

“I brought you a donut,” You offer. Matt smiles a bit, but you can tell it’s forced.

“Thank you. You’re sweet, but..” he hesitates. “I don’t really need a secretary.”

“I’m not your secretary; I’m the office assistant.” Matt raises his eyebrows, and you feel your face flush. “Fine, Kirsten hired me to be your secretary, but she did hire me. I want to work here—For you.”

“I’m sure Kirsten has lots of things for you to worry about that aren’t me.” He promises.

You glance down to the small donut box you’re holding in your hand. Then, you place it on his slightly messy desk.

“Well, I’ll be right outside if you need anything.”

Matt doubts that he will, but he forces a smile in your direction anyways.

-

Silence. Schedules. Phone calls. More silence.

Weeks pass like this.

You’re beginning to feel like you don’t deserve to be paid for this, half the time you just sit around doing crosswords or sudoku until Kirsten can come up with something for you to do.

You wait for Mr. Murdock to notice you like a puppy, always glancing over to his office.

You think he might hate you. He’s never outright said as much, but he acts like it. The coffee you make causes him to grimace. The research you do is never good enough. And Kirsten does her best, pestering Matt to engage and giving you things to do..

But there’s only so much she can do. So, there are some days where you sit around writing ideas and brainstorming, always thinking about writing.

After two weeks, you’re yet to start using your free time to write on the side.. But after a particularly bad Wednesday morning..

You were just there to take notes at the firm’s general morning meeting. You want to get down anything important, hating all the nervous energy you have. You’re ignoring the way Matt’s thigh feels against yours.

Then, Matt leans over to you, and whispers against your ear, sending a chill down your spine,

“You know, you don’t really need to be here, I can get my notes from someone else—”

From down the table, you hear giggles, and you glance over to see two of the younger, more annoying new attorneys laughing and whispering to each other, all while looking at you and Matt.

Something snaps inside of you.

What the fuck was this, High School?

Why do you tolerate this bullshit?

You nod, turning your head towards Matt.

“You’re right. I don’t need to be here.” Then, with a quiet, ‘excuse me’, you pick up your things, stare straight ahead and go to your desk.

The meeting room goes kind of quiet, every one of them wondering if this was the epiphany you needed, to stop letting yourself be pushed around so often.

Meanwhile, your brain is committed to one thought:

Don’t cry, Don’t cry, Don’t cry—

You manage to make it to your desk, turn your head away from your colleagues, before the tears finally fall. You wipe them quickly and inhale and exhale slowly.

So everyone thinks you’re a fucking pushover who’s just letting Matt hate you so intensely, so what?

You take a deep breath in.

You exhale.

You open Linkedin and update your resume, before browsing for jobs. You apply to one or two.

You do this all day. You don’t get up from your desk, you don’t bring Mr. Murdock coffee, you don’t ask Kirsten what you can do for her, you don’t even respond when Matt asks you if you want anything from his thai food place, his treat.

You do some work, because you’re afraid of getting fired, but you just scribble down emails and addresses and pros and cons of staying, and you focus intensely at the task at hand.

You don’t even hear his footsteps as he approaches, all you hear is—

“Boo!”

You jump, gripping the arms of your swivel chair. You quickly spin around to be met with Matt. Anger burns within you.

“What the hell is your problem?!” You glare.

Matt laughs.

“What? I scared you?”

“Oh, fuck off,” You spit, and then you cover your mouth, your eyes wide. You’re mortified!

Matt just smiles and offers you the bag of, admittedly delicious smelling, thai food.

“You know, I like you better when you don’t let people walk all over you. It’s a better look.” He hums, and you take the food.

“..Thanks.”

“No problem.” He pauses, “But this doesn’t mean I need a secretary, I can still do all my own work,”

“Yeah, I figured as much.” You say bitterly.

“What’re you doing, anyways?”

You don’t hesitate to respond because he deserves this—

“Looking at job listings.” He pauses, as if caught off guard by your honesty.

“Maybe you should stick around, things’ll get easier.” He taps his cane on the ground, and you try to name the emotion inside you.

“Maybe.” Is all you respond before you turn back to your desk and start working.

After that, you hold no reserves about spending the hours that Matt ignores you writing. And you, of course, hear no objections from him.

-

After that, you and Matt are not quite.. enemies.. Well, you never were, but.. things aren’t as hostile as they were before. Occasionally, He’ll listen to you when you give input on a client. Occasionally, he’ll ask you if you want any coffee from the place down the street.

This is the closest the two of you get to a love language or a back and forth—Coffee and notes.

One day, you decide to clean his office while he’s out.

It’s an innocent gesture—Something to try and convince him that you can be useful, when given the opportunity!

You start by taking out the trash, making sure not to mess with any important documents. You note how barren his office is—Compared to your desk full of trinkets, at least. You suppose it makes sense, for a blind man not to concern himself with decorating.

You hang his scarf on a hook on the wall, noting the soft texture.

You don’t even mean to find it.

You just pick it up off his desk, and you’re reading it before you can stop yourself.

The picture on the card depicts a blonde man with a kind smile, handsome, too.

‘In loving memory of Franklin Nelson’ is as far as you get when the door swings open, and Matt is standing in the doorway to the office.

“Oh! Sorry—I was just trying to clean up before you got back from your meeting and—

“What are you holding?” You suspect he already knows based off how he asks, but you’re not sure how. Maybe it’s that important to him, but you’ve noticed that he knows things, weird things. But you have no time to think about that now.

“I found it on your desk,” You hold it out to him and as soon as his finger runs over the braille on the card, you watch his shoulders tense. “I’m so sorry, I just—”

“Never touch this!” He snaps, and you stop, taken aback. “Never ever touch this, do you realize how important this is? What would’ve happened if you lost it or threw it out?!” He steps towards you as he raises his voice, “This isn’t for you! Never come into my office without permission again, and never fucking touch this, do you understand?!” He yells, and when you don’t answer, he yells louder—“Do you understand me?!”

Silence.

Then, a whimper escapes your lips as you cover your mouth, tears already running down your face. You quickly place the card back on the desk, before speed walking out of his office, hot, thick tears running down your face.

You’re so fucked, you think. You’re going to get fired. As if you hadn’t spent weeks getting paid to do practically nothing, you’re absolutely going to get fired now. Maybe you should just quit, save yourself the embarrassment, or, maybe you can get on your hands and knees—Absolutely beg Matt to forgive you.

You feel awful. You had heard bits and pieces of what had happened to the man on the card, of how it affected Matt. How they were best friends. How they had their own firm together. How that was destroyed in a matter of minutes.

And sure, Matt’s been a dick to you for a while now, but you have an intense empathy for him. You couldn’t even imagine how he feels.

You grab your jacket and your bag, and then you walk straight back to your apartment. You assume you’re fired. But instead of worrying about it or applying to more jobs, You open a big bottle of wine and sit with the record player on. You keep thinking about how fucked you are.

You fall asleep on your couch, still in your work clothes.

You wake up to your phone buzzing and the sun in your eyes. You glance at the caller ID, only to find.. Kirsten calling you. Probably to chew you out.

“Hello..?” You answer hesitantly, your head pounding.

“Hey, where are you? You’re usually here an hour ago,” You glance at the time. You’re not late, but you’re chronically early. “Everything okay?”

“Uh,” Then, it hits you.

Kirsten isn’t calling to chew you out. So, that means..

Matt didn’t fire you. He didn’t even tell her.

“Sorry,” You finally answer, “I slept through my alarm, but I’ll be there soon.” You tell her. You two say goodbye, and then, you take a second to breath, then, make a plan.

First, you chug a bottle of water, along with a dosage of ibuprofen. Then, you hop in the shower and change, before grabbing your things and making your into the office. Everyone continues what they’re doing, business as usual. You say nothing to anyone as you settle in. You feel crazy, like you’re not in on some joke.

Then, as you’re shuffling around, Matt appears in the door of his office. He calls your name. You jump, tightening your grip on your chair.

“Can we talk a second?”

“Uh, sure.” Your heartbeat is loud, thumping quickly.

You make it into his office and sit on a chair in front of his desk, as he leans against the desk next to you.

Then, he leans back to the desk and picks something up. Then, he hands it to you—and relief washes over you as you realize it’s a coffee.

You take it.

“Thank you.” You say genuinely, talking a long sip of coffee.

“Two splenda and half n half, right?”

You glance up at him.

“How do you know my coffee order?”

“Despite what you think, I pay attention.” He reveals. You feel silly.

You open your mouth to begin,

“I’m so—”

He holds up a hand, a quiet command to be quiet. Closing your mouth and waiting for him to speak is your first reaction, and you’re not sure how to feel about it.

“I’m sorry.” He breathes in, “I’ve been a dick to you, and last night I took it too far. You were just being kind and you didn’t know.”

“I shouldn’t have tried to push your boundaries,” You offer. He shakes his head.

“I’ve been mean every day since we first met. You don’t deserve that.” He inhales, “I’ve been such a dick because I’ve been.. stuck and stubborn, because the guy on the prayer card.. He was a..” Matt’s jaw clenches and he tilts his head away from you.

You don’t need Matt to finish. His grief, his love for Franklin Nelson, whoever he was, has outlived him. And it radiates off him in this moment.

“Can I ask you a question?” Your voice is quiet. Matt just nods. “And you can’t laugh at me or tell me I’m being an idiot, or—Whatever, you just have to answer.”

Matt’s lips just twinge up, only a bit.

“Mhm?”

A beat.

“..Can I give you a hug?” You wonder, and he just nods, and before his head is able to pick back up, your arms are wrapped around him. You squeeze tightly, and Matt returns your embrace. Your hand gently rubs his back as Matt lets himself be held for the firs time.. in, well, months.

The two of you stay like this for a while, before you pull away. Your hands come up to cup his face, wiping his tears from his face, resisting the urge to pull off his glasses to dry his eyes.

When his tears stall, you finally break the silence.

“Are you gonna be okay if I go back to work? I can stay here if you want me, but—”

“No.” He shakes his head, “Go ahead, go back to work. But, can I tell you a secret?”

“Hm?”

“Now that you’re my new secretary, I’m gonna have to whip you into shape,” He teases.

You pull away, swatting his chest lightly before grabbing your coffee.

“I hate you. Don’t bother me.” You joke back.

“I do really need the case notes on the Jason family and I need to know when my first meeting is,” He says as you walk out the door.

“10 am. I’ll get you the notes in five minutes, tops.”

Matt smiles as he goes back to his seat and begins to search for his headphones.

“Thank you, kid,”

“Oh, I hate that.” You call back.

Matt just laughs.

Yeah, maybe you’ll stick around for a couple more weeks. Just to see.

-

It happens slowly at first.

You’re hesitant to engage with each other, suddenly not used to this.

 His foot nudges against yours under the table at meetings. Sometimes on accident. Most of the time on purpose.

You bring him a breakfast sandwich.

He listens as you cry to him about an annoying witness you were assisting.

He touches your arm. You ignore a familiar, unnamed feeling.

You’re not sure when exactly you start to fall in love with him. But once you do, you find it impossible to stop.

You begin to fall asleep thinking about him whisking you away. Maybe just downtown. Maybe just to his office with the blinds closed and the door locked. Maybe to Scotland, to a castle where the two of you become the finest rulers in the land.

You find yourself just staring at him, and you’re right back to waiting for him like a lost puppy. You suppose there are worse fates than this.

Really, it’s not that bad.

You can just be a hopeless puppy following him around for the rest of your life. That’ll be fine. You tell yourself you’ll be fine.

Just ignore the way your stomach turns as Kirsten talks near your desk, just yapping about a date she went on, and then, out of nowhere, she asks,

“So what’re you looking for?”

“Huh?” You wonder, not fully paying attention.

“If you could go on a date with the perfect person, what would they be like?”

Your reaction is instantaneous. It’s instinctual. It’s incriminating.

Your head picks up, and your eyes lock onto Matt from across the office. He’s just shuffling through some old documents, but the way he focuses so intensely, a smile creeps up on your face before you can stop it.

When you realize what you’ve done, your eyes go wide, and you realize that Kirsten has followed your eyeline.

She starts to laugh.

“I knew it!”

“No, no! Kirsten,” You say, your voice now wobbly, “Kirsten, listen, you cannot say anything, you don’t know anything, just—” You’re panicking, because if Kirsten has found you out, your secret is no longer safe. “Don’t.”

“Don’t what? Don’t tell Matt you—”

“Shhhut up!” You whine, your hands covering your face. Fuck, fuck, fuck!

You’re so fucked.

Why do you keep thinking that in this office?

“Why? What would be so bad about—”

“I swear to god,”

“You won’t even let me say it out loud!” She laughs, and you feel pathetic.

“No, I won’t!”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m just going to ignore it.”

“What?! Why?!”

“Because he has spent the past couple of months being mean to me and we’re only now starting to be nice to each other, I highly doubt he wants anything to do with me.”

“You know there’s this old saying,”

“I’m so sick of this conversation.” You grumble as you stand, gathering your things, and placing the list of Matt’s meetings on the top of it, preparing to make your way to his office.

“You’ll never know unless you try.” She finishes. You look to her. Then, you glance back to Matt.

“Just promise me you won’t say anything.”

“Promise me you will.”

You don’t respond, but you do knock on Matt’s door before you enter. Despite his apology and the relationship you’ve been developing, his words still ring in your head—Don’t come into his office without permission.

He answers, so you go in, and immediately, something in you relaxes.

“Hey, sweetheart,” You pretend he’s being more than friendly, “What’s up?”

“Uh,” You breath out, “I got your meeting schedule.” You offer him, and he smiles.

“Thanks. Did you get my email about the expert witness for the Doyle trial?”

“Yeah, I did. I’ll keep an eye out for a follow up. Don’t forget, it’s that intern, Sarah’s birthday, so say happy birthday.” You remind.

“Oh, right. Sarah.. She’s.. the one with the crush on me? She giggles every time I enter a room?”

You furrow your eyebrows.

“Yeah, I guess she does have a bit of a crush on you. Are you.. going to do anything about that?” You ask, as if you’re not brimming with jealousy.

He laughs.

“No, no. Date a coworker? It would get.. messy.” He blushes like he speaks from experience.

“Oh.” You attempt to hide your disappointment. You don’t do a very good job. “Okay, let me know if you need anything.” You smile weakly and turn to leave.

You stop in the doorway. You turn back to him.

“You would date me though, right?”

His head picks up immediately. He smiles a bit.

“What exactly are you asking me?”

“I’m your coworker, sure, but.. you’d date me, right?” You wonder.

His grin widens.

“Are you asking me out on a date?” He wonders, and gets up from his spot at his desk, taking a few steps towards you. You meet him in the middle, your hands coming out to smooth his tie.

“Do you want me to be asking you on a date?”

“As long as it’s not out to Chinese, I just had that last night.” He responds, and you roll your eyes with affection.

“Italian?”

“Overrated for a first date.”

“French?”

“No, I’m Irish, actually.”

“Oh my god, Matthew.”

“Okay, okay. Thai?”

“Perfect.” Of course, You don’t care where you get dinner. You just want to get dinner with him.

And you almost kiss him, right then and there, but you tell yourself that in front of all your coworkers? In this office with these giant offices?

“Let’s go right after work. We can leave together, around six?” He asks, and you can’t help but smile.

“Perfect.” You repeat.

-

By five forty-five, your last coworker to leave heads out, leaving just you and Matthew waiting for six. At five fifty, you pull your jacket on.

At five fifty-three, Matt comes out of his office, and smiles to you.

“Ready to go?”

“Ready.” You smile, and Matt holds out his arm, quietly asking you to guide him. You happily take it, and begin to ask, “Thai, right? Could I toss in sushi as an option or—”

You don’t get to finish your sentence, because Matt leans his case next to your desk, before cupping your face with his free hand, and pressing his lips against yours, finally doing what he had been craving for months.

You tense at first, then you melt into the kiss, your hands wrapping around his tie before pulling him closer. It comes naturally to you, and you’re beginning to wonder why you waited so long to do this.

He deepens the kiss and for a moment before pulling away, his lips brushing against yours.

“Do you know how badly I want to skip dinner and take you right back to my apartment?”

“Why don’t you?”

“Because you’re the best thing that’s happened to me in months, I don’t.. I don’t want to ruin it. I don’t want to even risk it..” he confesses, “So I want to take you out to a nice dinner, kiss you until you’re unable to think.. Then take you back to my apartment.”

You breath out deeply.

“One more kiss, and then we’ll go,”

Matt answers by kissing you again, his hands going to gently nudge you against your desk, unable to stop kissing you.

But, he hears no objections from you.

[disabled-dean]

Truly the way this scene would have hit so much harder if Mary was the right age. Like Dean, girl, you're 40! You sound crazy!! That is a truly crazy thing to say to her!! She's 29! She's been dead for decades! She was brutally murdered! Her marriage was arranged by heaven! Her babies are now fully grown men! She just learned what tiktok is!

But this dynamic also validates Dean's feelings sooooooooo much more imo. If Mary really is 10+ years younger than he is, and if she's given the internal life in the narrative to process everything that's happened to her and to grieve and figure things out on her own, then what he wants is truly something he can't have!

It's not just an issue of Mary being able to meet his needs and choosing not to or needing more time, she really truly cannot give him what he's asking for and that is so painful! And it's so real. That kind of grief and the struggle to accept that your parent is never going to parent you the way that you need them to.

Dean really did lose his mother, and even though she's back, it doesn't change or fix that, it just forces all these feelings to the surface. It's messy. It isn't fair. And it isn't either of their faults. It's that kind of family trauma that you don't really have anywhere to put, it just carves out a space in you.

Anyways stream Ten Minutes From Home: Lebanon Coda to play in the 29 year old Mary space with me <3

[spidey-webs]

DC fandom is so strange.

You got one portion of the fandom insisting Bruce hates Hal and thinks he sucks (in general or at being a hero), which is completely incorrect no matter what version of the characters you’re looking at.

And another portion of the fandom that ships them, which is not baseless at all, but somehow the ship is completely divorced from that base anyway. Like they canonically do have a dynamic one can easily make shippy, but that is not at all what any Batlantern I’ve seen invokes.

Like. Bruce developed a whole batshit psychological complex of perpetual distrust over Hal’s descent to madness. So much so that if you made a list of events in comics that canonically completely rewrote Bruce’s entire worldview, character, and relationships, Hal becoming Parallax would probably rank only below deaths of his family based on how different his philosophy is before and after. Pretty much everything people know about modern Batman has some of its roots in Bruce’s fucked friendship with Hal.

But. That just. Never comes up ever??? In fandom?? On either side?????

I guess part of the problem is the disjointed nature of comics, where it’s not always easy or even possible to follow the narrative through line of character relationships between titles and writers and retcons. And on top of that, comics used to be a lot more subtle, with subtext and unspoken themes, which maybe not every casual reader will pick up on. But even considering that, the…blindness to Hal and Bruce’s canon, super messy decades spanning history is bizarre. They had one of comics’ sloppiest friend breakups ever and not even the shippers talk about it??

[year2000electronics]

Bill & Ford & A Book, Oh My!

DISCLAIMER: The Book of Bill has Bill Cipher serving as an unreliable narrator. If we go out trying to say something is "definitively a truth" or "definitively a lie", we're going to keep arguing about it until the heat death of the universe. This is just my own personal interpretation of the source material. If you don't agree, that's fine! Also TBOB spoilers abound.

So it's no secret that interest in the dynamic Bill & Ford have (enemies, platonic, romantic, formerly romantic, whichever way) has really skyrocketed since TBOB's release. Of course, there are the 'easy' culprits to point towards, with Mabel referring to Bill as 'being like a needy ex', and the whole O'Sadley's fiasco (Him literally crying over losing Ford and going "one Sixer, please"? Messy. Messy behavior. Still, I think it goes so much deeper than that.

Bill, being the unpredictable chaos entity that he is, also serves as the main antagonist for a show about family and having close bonds with each other. We don't really need to look into his inner psyche that much, because that's just not what he needed to be doing at that point in the cartoon. He's meant to be a way to divide the Pines, really. And a silly little guy. A silly little obstacle. So, naturally, when it came to Bill's arguably "closest" relationship to someone in the show (Ford), it was very easy to interpret it as Ford being tricked by a completely apathetic Bill, who was just using him as a rung on the ladder. And I do want to stress that Ford and Bill's physical actions remain fairly consistent throughout interpretations, and focusing on the fact that Bill badly hurt Ford is important, so if that's how you still see it, then fine by me! No harm no foul!

But I think the relationship, their story, their tragedy just becomes so much more interesting with the lens The Book of Bill has presented. We’re finally able to see Bill’s perspective as a “protagonist” of sorts in a medium where he’s not just something to defeat- and that’s something we’ve never gotten before, so it’s shedding light on an area we didn’t know about for sure! Again, Bill is lying to the character of "the reader", so we can't trust it as a completely unbiased source. But we can speculate on where the "truth" is between these lies.

First of all, Bill's backstory was that he destroyed his home dimension- we knew that already. But now, with the extra content we have about it, we see something interesting- that Bill's backstory mirrors Ford's to an uncanny degree.

Both of them champion their intelligence, although they highlight how it set them apart from others, as well as highlighting their own 'rare mutation/birth defect'.

Again, with this self-isolation already spurred on from their "weirdness", but also as a little aside, I would also like to highlight that Bill being 'ready to be one', looking up at the stars, striving to 'reach' them, is a shared motif he has with Ford, who is also associated with space, the stars, and reaching them.

Bill's 'trying-really-quick-to-convince-Ford' fantasy sequence even has him in a field of stars as a sort of "ultimate wish fulfilment". Remember, this is Bill showing Ford something he thinks would win Ford over, at least a little.

(And I'll take a quick time out for this train of thought to point out- hey! Bill admits he sought out most of his other victims, but Ford summoned him, and it took him by surprise! That adds a fun little layer of complexity to everything, don't you think? Another little layer of humanity for this whole mess- Bill didn't expertly seek out the 'perfect victim' or anything, it was just... luck. Some twist of fate.)

Anyways.

Obviously, the intro page to the 'Sixer' section has a ton of red flags galore (I mean, poor guy's literally depicted as a hapless puppet. C'mon, Bill. Not to mention the "OH BOY HE'S ALREADY SO ISOLATED, IT'S PERFECT" thing.). This guy is kind of a terrible companion no matter how you slice it. He's terrible to everyone close to him, because he's a deeply traumatized character who refuses to heal. BUT, the wording here is kinda deliciously intriguing to me. All of humanity is Bill's puppets, his future victims, but to me, it's clear that he holds a fondness for Ford. From "This is what a partner looks like", to "Me and Sixer could be the perfect team", to "He had what I always wanted- fingers" (drawn to his strangeness, maybe?), "He was destined for so much more", "I looked at his futures and giggled", and most stand-out to me, "Society calls these people freaks, I call them Henchmaniacs!"

Going back to the pre-Book of Bill era I was talking about, Bill's offers for Ford to join him were always in a sort of murky territory for interpretation. The first offer could definitely be read as mocking, with the line "WITH THAT SIX-FINGERED HAND, YOU'D FIT RIGHT IN WITH MY FREAKS!" in particular making it seem like Bill was only saying that to rub Ford's strangeness in his face, and the second offer to join Bill being under a new circumstance- that now Bill is desperate and believes Ford is the only one who can help him. But the Book of Bill mentions the idea of Ford becoming a Henchmaniac more than once, and also has Bill upset at losing Ford and claiming "he'll be back", as well as Bill seeming to use "freak" more like a badge of honour, and having previously complimented Ford's six fingers (In the Sixer intro page, he highlights Ford's fingers as a quality he likes, and in the pages about bodies, he states that "humans should have more fingers". To me, that first offer reads more now like Bill being genuine about finding Ford a place among his misfits. ...Although, the moment Ford says no, he does zap him into a statue. So. Y'know. He's still got issues.

(Yeah, again, red flag city. "Just hazing"? Bill, none of what you were doing over there was okay! You might have suppressed everything traumatic that happened to you, but that doesn't mean you can go around traumatizing everyone! Good lord.)

Bill has already been imply to like other characters because they remind him of himself. Pointing towards a connection with a character Bill DOESN'T have a weird undefinable ex-partner thing with... Mabel! Alex has says in multiple official media and interviews that Bill sees a lot of himself in Mabel, and essentially, that he thought Mabeland was the perfect prison because if HE liked all that awesome, uncontrolled chaos over any family or friends, why wouldn't SHE? And we see that again in TBOB. So basically, what I'm saying is that we have two characters to back up the fact that Bill seems gravitated towards humans or other living beings that he views as being 'like him'- beings he can relate to! So, y'know, what does that say about Bill and Ford?

There's also Bill's plans for the reader and "Weirdmageddon 2.0", where he portrays the reader as getting to, like, perch on his arm like a little bird and get their own little crown? And specifically calls out Ford for not going through with things?? Okay, Bill??

AND Ford not only being the only human mentioned on the list of people he "definitely doesn't miss so stop asking", but also having his own category? Alright, man.

Of course, another point to the 'Hey, maybe Bill can actually feel emotions towards humans besides complete and total apathy' club is this page here, which has ALSO been hotly debated! Certainly, we know he's telling the truth about his home dimension being destroyed, and we know that he's lying about the 'monster', but some interpret this scene as Bill not being remorseful at all and playing his reaction up to earn Ford's sympathy. And me, personally, I dunno if I agree. I feel like the specific inclusion of Bill "looking distant, more distant than I'd ever seen him" (Mirroring the fact that he keeps blacking out when thinking about all his large-scale massacres) and him "laughing joylessly", I think this sequence is meant to tell us that Bill actually is being vulnerable with Ford here, it's just hidden under layers and layers of deceit, whether towards himself or Ford or both.

And finally for my Book of Bill collection stuff, there's the stuff that could be read as more romantic in nature. In the 'love' section, Bill claims he doesn't love anyone, but, like-

Come on. You can disagree with me that it's Ford, but he does have exes. And he's clearly not over them. Shrimpy little liar. And then there's the fact that a lot of his hokey 'advice' is stuff he ends up directly doing to Ford.

These rats.

The Love Cage.

The Book of Bill really outlined all that in bold, but in my opinion, it was never an entirely new revelation! Bill seems to hold a preference for Ford over other humans in the show. He shows up in Ford's dreams just to say hi, tease him, and gloat (Mabelcorn) unlike the other two dream appearances he's made (Dreamscaperers, Sock Opera) which were exclusively for business purposes. Unlike every other character that gets exclusively one nickname for their zodiac sign, Ford gets multiple (Fordsy, IQ, Sixer, smart guy, brainiac, the list goes on). Bill asks Ford to join him TWICE, whereas anyone else who tries gets their face rearranged, put in a cage and made to dance, frozen in stone, etc etc. And finally, I think, the most emblematic of Bill's weird, specific relationship with Ford, is that whereas everybody else gets turned into stone, Ford got turned into gold.

Which kinda sums up their whole thing up pretty well? Bill gave him special treatment by turning him into a golden statue (similar to yellow ha ha), always holding him close, but, like... Dude. You still kidnapped a man and turned him into a statue and then threatened to kill his niece and nephew. I don't think it will change his opinion on you if he's the Most Pampered Hostage, Actually. I just don't think that we need to explore the relationships between characters as simply "Well, this character hurt the other one, so we shouldn't really think about why or what they feel personally, because what they did was bad, so there".

Bill & Ford interest me because they're a tragedy in motion. We can see that Bill and Ford mirror each other in a multitude of ways, and we can see that they both do have positive feelings towards each other at the time they meet, and we see that Bill very desperately wants Ford to be just like him in the unhealthy ways; the ways that make Bill destroy entire universes and compartmentalize it all, because maybe then, he can finally have the companionship he so deeply aches for. Bill and Ford both had tough, lonely upbringings, but Ford moved on from that "I don't need you" mentality. That's what saved him. Bill didn't, and that's what got him where he was in the end. I feel like that's just so much more interesting than Bill just being a flat entity that makes abuse Happen to Ford, just as another Event in his life. I mean, isn't it just SO much more interesting that Ford humanizes Bill, in a way? That Ford makes him- in Bill's own words- "sentimental"? That a chaotic dream demon has regrets and loves and favourites and connections? It's the same thing with Fiddleford & Ford, although, obviously, to a MUCH lesser extent than Bill & Ford. But you get what I mean, right? You know that Fiddleford and Ford are going to undo each other in the end, and the path to that downfall is... it's telling a story! I like the story of it all! I think that's what I've been invested in and intrigued by all these years- the story, the tragedy of Bill and Ford. No matter what form it takes.

(Plus, as tumblr user fordtato pointed out in their own essay (not tagging because this post is messy enough as is oh god), hey, Ford now has two incredibly queer-coded narratives, with one of them being about how he recovered and was able to heal from an abusive relationship. And, well, I think that's just neat.)

Anyways, that's the end of the post. Thanks for reading this long!

[melanchoire]

bartender(is that how you call it??) sub!hanni x soft dom! ceo gp reader🥺👉🏻👈🏻 it's been in my head for too long and i can't think of a plot 😔 i hope you do it tho

-📽

i had an idea in mind but it ended up being something else... i changed the dynamics a bit 💔

cw: riding.

going to a bar to drown your sorrows because being a CEO was a tough job and work had been shitty lately; conferences with other companies and CEOs that only gave you headaches because they were simple and empty proposals led by arrogant bosses who felt they were the center of the world, having to be patient and fake a smile with a secretary who seemed to have laziness as the predominant emotion in her body because she always did her work with little enthusiasm and somewhat incompletely, and dealing with employees who increasingly failed to meet the job requirements

like any other day where you feel this way you would do the usual thing of just going home after a long day of work and drinking on your couch means that your mind is so clouded that you don't understand a single word that the people on television are saying, buuut you needed a change of routine so much that you didn’tmind going to a local bar in the city center

bad luck for you that it just happens to be a friday night, meaning teenagers or young adults going out to parties or something simpler like hanging out with their friends, whatever the option, the place was plagued by young people who were too loud and were gradually irritating you

until a voice pulls you out of your thoughts! a pretty young girl with hair tied in a messy bun and thin-framed glasses resting on her nose. she just smiled at you and tilted her head, wiping a damp cloth over the bar and cleaning the remains of drops of alcohol that fell when preparing the previous drinks

“rough night i guess?” oh yeah! you can’t tell if she is making fun of you given the small smile tugging at her lips, but your tone was being quite honest, so you just had to cross your fingers

“you can say it…” and your usual serious and strict CEO demeanor had completely vanished, being replaced by… vulnerability? honestly, you didn’t know what caused your change of attitude. maybe it was because being able to vent to someone was something you'd been looking for for months, but you never succeeded because your family always reminded you that you were an adult and that you shouldn’t act like a baby with “basic” work-related problems, or something like your friends always minimizing your problems and making jokes about how the “rich girl” expected mommy and daddy to solve everything for her…

you end up venting to hanni?? you don’t know if she is really interested in listening to you or if she simply doesn’thave other clients to serve because her other coworkers are taking care of it while she deals with your drunk ass… whatever the option, you’re thankful that she is a good listener! she was even being a good advisor, not understanding much about the scope of working in an office and having a position as high as that of a CEO, but anyway, she was there for you

until there comes a point where your system clearly can’t tolerate any more alcohol and you’re practically lying in the chair, looking so messed up that at any moment your body will fall off the chair straight to the floor 😭 hanni helps you go to your car and get in; partly because she is a little embarrassed by your messy state and how you even struggled to tell her which of all the cars in the parking lot was yours, and also because her coworker minji told her to take care of your drunk ass before she kicks you out of the place herself because she didn’t want you to throw up in the bathroom right after she cleaned all the stalls!

…would you believe me if i told you that you don’t remember exactly how you went from hanni helping you out of the bar to her riding your cock in the backseat of your car? i mean–! it’s not your fault that alcohol impairs your memory because it’s a central nervous system depressant that slows down brain activity! giving you blackouts, which are gaps in your memory of events that occurred while you were intoxicated, and boy were you drunk! aol you remembered at this point was leaving work, blinking, and suddenly getting so drunk and BOOM a cute girl was riding you…

awww and your head is spinning so much that you can barely lay your head against the headrest of the seat and keep it there without feeling like it’s weighing you down 😭 luckily hanni notices this and comes to the rescue! bringing her hands to your head, holding your face between her palms and running a hand through your hair to brush the loose strands away from your face 🥺 you were looking at her from below with eyes squinted from tiredness and clouded by alcohol, giving hanni a needy look as she rode you in a way that took you out of your boss bitch role and made you whimper for her

you barely mustering up enough strength to try and make a move, pushing yourself off your seat and leaning forward a little to try and kiss her, only for her to place one of her hands over your mouth and push you back against the seats again, saying “owww nooo you have alcohol on your breath.” 💔 but when she sees that you want to complain about her words, she silences you by giving you a sweet kiss on the cheek, adding "fifteen more minutes and my shift will be over. then you will take me home with you, right?” and never before have you nodded with that enthusiasm!

[nyxtickled]

re: his public response

i would not have to share screenshots if blatant misinformation was not being shared about me in private to multiple women and now in public.

i will not be shamed for offering hard evidence and truth to dispute the way i am being painted out by a manipulative man.

Despite her showing some sort of interest for potentially more, I made it clear we were in a kink dynamic, and we both agreed on that. I was not romantically dating anyone for the duration of our dynamic, so Nyx was a large part of my focus in my personal life for several months. 

i will NOT be painted as some scorned lee who was hurt because she developed some sort of unrequited feelings for a play partner. for the love of god i am WAY too gay for that shit.

I was put in a hard spot many times because multiple partners would openly voice the way my (gushing) posts about Adi would make them feel. Dynamics were ended (and then reconnected after conversation) over the way my posts made them feel like I was prioritizing one play partner over another. That was never my intention. I truly do enjoy gushing over a play partner. I enjoy hyping up my play partners, as you all have seen. But, this caused problems several times with several partners.

this conversation happened in mid-November. it was the second time i had brought up my feelings of disconnection. i never had a problem with what he shared on tumblr. i will always support, encourage, and love other women. i would never express discontent about another woman’s attention. what i did was express a need, and gave him the option to meet it. he minimized, said he would, and never put forth the action. it was all words, words, words.

and when i later attempted to deescalate our connection in an attempt to be as respectful as possible of his needs and his limitations, trying to meet him where he was at, while dealing with my dog’s cancer and my second community member warning about him, the mask came off.

and the most shocking part about all of this? during the family tragedy he referred to from mid-December as stated, i constantly poured out as much support to him as i could while giving him as much space as he needed. i am so heartbroken that he would imply that his play partners disregarded his grief as the cause of his disconnection from us. that is actually deplorable. after all the times i reiterated that i would never be resentful of him for processing a pain like that. after an entire month went by before he even told us his family member had passed, and i apologized while clarifying over and over that if i had known, i would have understood, but that was not the root issue. i assured him that i would never hold something like that against him.

what he fails to mention is that he invited me to AUNT, changed his mind on going, and then changed it back when he found out i was going to find my way there anyway without depending on him for a room or flight. when he approached me attempting to act as though we were close as ever and ready to kiki, i explained that i wouldn’t be bailing on my new plans with my new friends. THAT is when i suddenly was told about his grieving. again, i don’t post screenshots to be messy, i do it to fucking fact check because i will never make a claim i cannot back up.

i don’t care about how i might be judged for taking this bait. i absolutely fucking refuse to allow a man who has already emotionally harmed me privately to get on here and continue perpetuating literal delusion to avoid accountability. fuck that.

i was not seeking a romantic relationship. i never, ever expressed discontent as a result of his grieving. i repeatedly spelled out what i needed in a dynamic, he agreed that he would love to give it, and then disappeared without any follow up. over and over and OVER again, and every time i tried to restructure us as friends, he begged me not to until i agreed. FAR before any personal tragedy struck.

i will not continue to sit here silently as he twists the narrative once more. i don’t care about posting screenshots because i have nothing to hide and i have had my experience minimized and overridden enough times in the last 6 months. it will never happen again.

if you would like me to stop talking about this on my blog, simply do not fucking lie about me again.

[jarofstyles]

Illicit

Hello my loves! Welcome to the first part of our next mini series we've been working on behind the scenes. The next 2 parts are available immediately on Patreon now, but will be updated here in the next few weeks!

Patreon

Warnings- cheating ( WITH y/n), Asshole Harry, I hate everyone but her, old money/wealth, toxic relationship dynamic, harry is mean and will be mean but not to Y/N lmao, smut

WC- 2.4k

------------

Harry had just finished cleaning himself of cum as his phone rang. 

It was his girlfriend. ‘Girlfriend’, really, because this wasn’t a real relationship. Not in his mind, anyways. 

“What?” His voice was a sharp whip, already annoyed that the post orgasm bliss had been interrupted by Katherine. Y/N was sitting next to him, her leg thrown over his thigh as fingers traced over his chest, absentminded circles pausing when she heard his attitude already. Her brow raised as he lifted the phone to show the name on the screen, making her nod, lips turning down. That irritated him further. 

“When are you coming to get me?” A voice that pierced his ears made him close his eyes, a dull throb beginning to coast down his head. “Daddy said you’re coming to the event and you were going to pick me up!” 

She was huffing like a child, not wanting to wait. Realistically, he would leave in 30 minutes. Y/N would stay curled up in his bed and wait for him to come home before he took her away to one of his family cabin’s with the rest of their friend group- the ones who knew of him and Y/N. He would spend the entire night trying to think of an excuse to get back to her early, and hoping Katherine wouldn’t throw a fit about not being able to come on this ‘business trip’.  

“You live with your father. Could you have not shared a ride?” His tone was icy, something Y/N had never been the recipient of. Thank god, really. As sexy as it was to hear him talk like that to other people, it would definitely make her cry. The man was intense, even he knew that, but not everyone seemed to catch on. 

“Hazza! Come on.” She whined. “He already left and stopped by the office. I’m getting ready now but we have to be early for the photos!” As if that was going to help her cause. It was like the girl had a handbook on how to say the wrong things. 

Harry didn’t do those stupid step and repeats. While Katherine loved being the center of attention, it wasn’t something Harry desired. In actuality, he detested it. He hated paparazzi and had broken 2 cameras from having them in his face without a second glance. No aggression, the picture of calm with pure ice on his face as he did so. If they valued their possessions, they shouldn’t be shoving them in people’s way. That’s what he thought, at least. 

“I’ll be there in an hour. I’m not doing those photos. I don’t care what you do. Now stop calling me when I'm in the middle of things. You know if I don’t answer once, wait for further instruction.” He paused. “And stop calling me that childish nickname. I don’t find it cute or endearing, it’s embarrassing. Goodbye.”

There was a sharp squeak as he hung up the phone and threw it to the ground, rolling Y/N around onto her back and sliding his still sticky cock back inside of her yet again. His annoyance was clear on his face, but it quickly melted away as her arms wrapped around him and her lips covered his face with soft coos, legs pulling him in deeper. Maybe she was a bit sore, maybe his last load was still dripping out of her messy hole, but she knew exactly how the man needed to express himself. 

“I know.” Her silky voice wrapped around his tension and broke it down, slow thrusts inside of her quelling the bubbling irritation in his stomach and turning it into arousal. Y/N could read his stone cold features, knew what his eye twitch meant, the simple movement of a brow or the tiniest down or upturn of lip. This magnificent woman seemed to have him all figured out, and he felt like shit for having to leave and be seen with another woman. “I know, baby. Only a few more months.” Fingers stroked his hair back, guiding his lips to her own.

 He kissed her back, eyes squeezing shut as he allowed himself to lose the anger that had developed by focusing on her. The heat of her cunt wrapped up tight around him, snug. Fitting him perfectly, just as it always had. Y/N was the one he had wanted to take to these things, but he had to wait. For once, his patience wasn’t being practiced. 

The best thing in his life had to be hidden from most people, all because he had taken a stupid deal. He had to go out with the girl who thought she was going to be the next Mrs.Styles, while all he wanted to do was stay nestled in his luxury sheets with Y/N’s soft, supple body to worship. 

It was all his fault, though. 

He had always been ambitious. Ruthless, some may say, but he knew that to a degree he could be cruel to get what he wanted. That was how had been raised. His father had put that right into his head, doing anything for success, power, money… that’s how he ended up in this situation. 

In order to secure the deal of a lifetime, he had agreed to date the man’s daughter. Maybe that sounded cruel, but he knew the intentions from the get go. The man was using his conventionally pretty, high society daughter to try and sweeten the deal- but he knew the true motivation. An attempt to get him into the family and continue having control of the company through his daughter’s supposed relationship with him. If only he had been smarter, if he had done more research. He would know he was sending a sacrificial lamb right into Harry’s awaiting lion jaws. 

See, she had been no stranger to him. Katherine had been after him for quite a while. They were acquainted to a certain degree, running in similar circles and society dinners. The crush, more so the obsession she had with Harry had been no secret to anyone. She claimed to have been in love with him, but Harry knew what it truly was. A lust for money. An infatuation with the power he could secure her. She loved what Harry could represent for her, not only to secure place in the society she had been thrown into as she grew up- but to elevate it. She knew the score, knew what Harry’s ring could mean. 

Katherine knew nothing of his true personality, his likes, his dislikes, his jokes. All of those things were reserved for the tiniest selection of people that she only knew of in passing. His real friends barely touched that superficial, vapid, bitter world. Katherine’s family was new money, looking to secure their place in society. Harry’s wealth went in decades, and it would most likely stay that way. Her vying for his attention didn’t shock him in the slightest. 

The condition of dating Katherine for at least a year had been one he had wanted to scoff at, one he had wanted to tell Mr. Eugene Brant that it would be obvious what it was, but he was smart enough to bite his tongue and agree. Playing stupid was a superpower, letting him think he got one over on Harry and vastly overestimating his daughter’s appeal. One year of being toted around with her overly big smile and his signature scowl on his face hadn’t been an issue. It was something he would merely go through the motions of until the exact year was up and she would be out of his life. 

At least, it hadn’t been until he met Y/N. 

The first woman who had ever captured his heart and soul. Softened the edges of his razor sharp glare.

She hadn’t wanted to give him the time of day once she realized he had been flirting whilst not single. She hadn’t known the deceptive relationship and it hadn’t been her fault, but that didn’t mean Harry was going to leave well enough alone. Even after she had dumped her  Shirley temple on his brand new pure cotton button up. 

If anything, it made him want her more. 

One thing about Harry? He was going to get what he wanted. He would bet anything on it. He was patient, stubborn, and fixated. Checking guest lists to see if she’d be in attendance to parties, see if she was going to hang out with his friend group, he was on the prowl to get her to talk again. 

She had blocked his number already- he didn’t really have a chance to explain. He understood why, but that didn’t mean he was going to give up. 

When he finally did have the shot to tell her the relationship was a hoax, she was still doubtful. Dubious looks sent his way as he had pulled them into a private room of the club they were at- one his father owned, funnily enough- his hand holding hers as he sat beside her to plead his case. He was strong and defiant, insisting that it was a means to an end and there was no clause saying he couldn’t date other people- but he would like to get to know her on a real level. 

Against her better judgment, Y/N had fallen for the soft green eyes, the soft looking lips with the sharp cupid's bow and his even sharper tongue. Giving him one date was all he needed to get her on board. 

Fidelity wasn’t a term in the contract he had signed. Stupid, stupid mistake on Brant’s part. A new money, no lawyer to look over, a hasty mistake that would most definitely come to bite him in the ass. Harry hadn’t honored fidelity in the slightest even before he met Y/N. Sex was an outlet for him, as was the gym, things that were pleasurable and stress relieving. He’d only slept with Katherine a handful of times, tapering that off when he saw it made her get more and more attached. She had obviously known Harry had a reputation and while the sex had been alright, there hadn’t been much to his benefit besides the fact that she swallowed his load. 

Surprisingly, it wasn’t that hard to find willing participants. 

Sex with Y/N had completely rocked his world. He thinks, in part, it was because they had a real connection. She made him wait, she made him work his way up to that if he wanted- and made him stop sex with anyone else. As if he had any interest in anyone else. Y/N had taken up the majority of his brain that wasn’t filled with revenue and contracts and contacts and emails. She was his escape. 

The first time they had sex, Harry had fallen for her. There was no question in his mind. Despite being positive that he wouldn’t ever marry for love, Y/N had him questioning that. She had flipped his entire world view upside down, made him weak in the knees. 

Y/N wasn’t in the public eye. Her family had some elite ties, but she was friends with a lot of the quietly wealthy people who didn’t feel the need to showcase it to everyone who looked with tacky labels and monograms. She’d gotten into one of the best schools, gotten her degree and continued her friendship with her roommates and best friends- who just happened to be the girlfriends of some of his best mates. The real ones. There were only a few single members of the groups, and Y/N had been the new blood that had people wondering. Harry had been interested immediately. 

It was about 4 months into their relationship and everything still felt fantastic. Y/N knew more about Harry than anyone else ever could. She was the one with the key to the future, even if she didn’t know the exact depths his feelings went to. 

“I don’t want to go.” His lips parted from hers. “I want to stay here… want to stay buried inside of you, want to feed you your chocolate and lick it from your tongue.” Inhaling his words, she moaned as his hips rolled and he found his home back at her most sensitive spot. He had spent hours finding it, claiming it, and he knew it was his. “Spent all week working… I just want my sweet Angel.”

Noses brushed against one another, Y/N’s bleary eyes opening up to look at his own. Hazy, dark green, hooded. She gently dragged her nails over his shoulder blades, arching up into him and pressed a bit harder on the skin to make him moan in surprise. “You have me, Harry.” She whispered. “You have me now. Leave with my traces on your cock… then come back and take more. We leave tomorrow… and you can hold me how you like. Kiss me. Our friends don’t care. They’ll keep our secret.” Even if it was forbidden, their tight knit group knew exactly what the relationship between Harry and Katherine really was- and none really liked her. They knew Y/N made him happy, softened him up, they’d all been rooting for this. Their safe space. The only ones who knew. 

“She won’t ever have me.” He reassured. “I’m yours. I want your marks on me.” Breathing harder, his thrusts getting a bit more deep. “Make me bleed. C’mon, my sweet girl. Paid for those nails… give me what I want.” Her cunt quivered around his prick, making him smile. She pretended not to like that sort of thing, but she got them done specifically for this. To quench his thirst for pain, for marks. They loved it. “She’ll never have me like this. I’m yours.” He whimpered, the freak of the bed and their noises filling the room. “M’yours, baby. My sweet Angel… stay in my bed and wait for me. I’ll give you everything. Just wait for me.” 

She would. She would wait for him, to be his fully, as long as it took.

[gutsyjieun]

tbh i am not a fan of this weird narrative about osha that's being tossed around. saying she has no agency is such bullshit and saying that we fell for that by liking her dynamic with qimir is even more annoying.

osha's whole thing is agency. that is literally, in my opinion, the root of her character. in the coven, it is because of osha's own agency and need for independence that she hesitates saying 'yes i accept this life' to her own family. she's craving freedom she thinks the jedi can give her. her own curiosity and utter need to be her own person, to not be tied to her twin sister are so well portrayed in this desperate grasp onto what she thinks will offer her independence and some kind of understanding of her true self. and then she leaves the jedi order, because it's just another set of rules and ways she must abide to fit into it. just another prison for her because she can't be her own person; her true self. she literally left the one thing that caused the entire conflict with her family in the first place. if that's not agency, i don't know what is. when qimir asks her why she's not a jedi, osha doesn't blame the jedi for anything, she says "because i failed." once again, she's focusing on her own choices and actions, indicating she's very self-aware of her independency and how it may have harmed her. she failed because of her own emotions, also something she's aware of. these emotions she couldn't keep at bay because of her agency; they're a part of her and a part she could not ignore or suppress like the jedi needed her to. it can even be interpreted as the show almost portraying osha as selfish because of how much agency they've given her. i honestly want this to be the case, i need messy, flawed osha

not just that, but osha is constantly practising her agency in many ways; she's leading her life the way she herself has chosen. what she thinks of these choices is a different thing entirely and can be interpreted by however you see it but ultimately her own choices led her to where she is.

which is the same thing that happens with qimir. he literally gives her an option to leave and go after master sol and her sister or just do whatever she wants. she doesn't have to stay there. i know a lot of people think he was manipulating her because he would've trapped her if she had left anyway, but i think that's a wrong way to look at what's really going on here, especially considering osha's characterisation. osha makes the choice here again, implying she has a lot of agency, again, and it makes a lot of sense why she stayed. this is just another way for her to seek out the freedom to be herself. osha is curious about the dark side, whether she denies that or not, and she wants to learn about it in hopes of gaining a sense of who she truly is. it doesn't tie her down to anything and it doesn't take away her agency. seduction from qimir's side may be a part of it but that doesn't negate the fact osha makes her own choice to allow him to teach her. she literally puts on the mask herself, it's not like he forced her to do that. she does that because she is desperate to find her true self once again.

she has so much agency in all her actions i think it's rather frustrating to see people reduce her character to 'she's falling for qimir's seduction because she's such a weak, passive character' like do you hear yourselves... in my opinion the show has made a great point of showing that osha, even if repressed and hesitant/presented as passive, will act out on her choices. and i think that's exactly what she's doing right now. she could've killed qimir, but she chose not to. after he opened up to her, her own empathy and curiosity led her to make that choice. even if she knows he's on the dark side, she still chooses to hear him out. she puts on the mask because she wants to. a part of her can see it could potentially give her what she always wanted: to be herself.

you could say qimir might seduce her to want codependency as this is something he seems to seek, but to imply osha has no agency is to disregard everything that has led her to this point in the story lol.