#anyway. what a joyful day c':

[chaoticsoft]

i love my new hell divers shirt!!!!!!!!! 💛🖤

[elleloquently]

the wretched and joyful [ 3 ] : ellie williams

ellie williams x female reader | angst + slowburn

masterlist

───⋆☆ And what the hell were we? Tell me we weren't just friends - This doesn't make much sense, no ♪

───⋆☆ All those sleepless nights - And all those wasted days - I wish loneliness would leave me - But I think it's here to stay ♪

| a/n - depending on how well this does, i'll decide if i'll be posting the rest of this fic or just leaving it here. thank you for your patience waiting for part three... please share ur thoughts bc that's my favorite part! i wrote this a little tipsy bc i wanted to get the right pacing of drinking so hopefully u get the vibe hehe | c/w - swearing, alcohol used as a coping mechanism, drinking, very small emetophobia warning! brief mention of sick (not detailed whatsoever), and a tiny dash of nsfw

you twirled and twirled in front of your dusted vanity mirror. the skirt that addie had made you was doing wonders.

you felt pretty.

what a ridiculous thing to say in this type of world.

the sky was streaked with orange, the promise of darkness growing closer by the second.

your stomach was in knots as you walked down the road. you tried to muster up excitement, telling yourself that was the reason for your shivers and shaking hands. if you forced it hard enough, perhaps it would be true.

perhaps you were a little too eager to drink, anything to numb your feelings or make you feel easy going, at least for a little while.

typically, you didn't like to drink much. you hated the taste, the way it constantly made you gag no matter how much you tried to like it. you hated feeling sick, too.

now, that didn't matter too much. if you were terribly sick the next day, so be it. maybe the sickness was the punishment that you deserved, and you decided that you would let it be.

dina's laughter echoed around you. you weren't sure what was said, but the ghost of a smile etched itself onto your lips anyway.

you pulled your gaze away from your feet, looking upwards to dina's grinning face instead. you had just caught the last second of a worried expression crossing jesse's face beforehand.

"stop dragging your feet," ellie complained, brushing your arm with her own. your skin responded almost instantly with chills. you could blame it on the cold weather, a cardigan wrapped protectively around your shoulders and arms. the days were certainly warming up, but the crisp air at night was an unforgiving reminder of the harsh winter everyone had struggled through.

you grumbled something inaudible in response, falling in line with your friends.

the four of you, a group of twenty somethings walking along almost happily as if the night could hold some sort of promise.

some older residents of jackson might chuckle, joking about staying out of trouble with a shake of their head. almost immediately their smiles would fall, remembering their own youth and how realistically, nobody would ever get to experience something like that again.

the light peeking through the tipsy bison ignited the fire in your nerves. jesse held the door open and you huddled in, giggling at the way seth loudly groaned once he set eyes on you and the three friends that followed. it almost could've been endearing if he wasn't such a piece of shit.

two older men sat at the bar turned and gave polite smiles as ellie claimed a rounded table in the corner. otherwise, it was pretty quiet. not for long.

"you look so cute," dina gushed in your ear, brushing her hands over your shoulder. "mrs. hollis really is a gem."

your lips slipped into a smile, cheeks burning. "thanks," you breathed out, looking at ellie out of the corner of your eye.

she had teased you quite a few times for saving a clothing item for a special occasion, but it didn't matter much. if you didn't go out of your way to try and make things special, how would they ever be?

dina pushed your back into the direction of the table where ellie and jesse were settling in. "go, sit. drink. be happy, or merry, or.. whatever they say."

you moved to the table as dina crossed to the bar. ellie's gaze raised, patting the seat next to her.

"hi," you said, sliding into the high top.

"so glad you could join us," jesse replied, charming and awkward and obviously testing the waters. he kept glancing between yourself and ellie and you wished he wouldn't. you hadn't even told him anything.

"you look pretty," ellie remarked, as if it were the most casual thing in the world that she could say. you felt feverish.

you opened your mouth to respond, but jesse drummed his fingers against the table.

"better go help my girl with our drinks," he announced, making things worse when he quickly stood up from the table.

"they're disgusting," ellie mumbled, watching as he joined dina and instantly snaked an arm around her waist.

you turned to look at ellie, watching as she watched jesse and dina. "you love them," you disagreed. "i'm glad they're back together."

"yeah. me too," ellie replied.

her tone sounded distant, causing your eyebrows to furrow as you turned and scooted closer to ellie. "what's the matter?" you questioned, just as music started playing throughout the bar. you both looked up at the same time, watching dina and jesse carrying drinks to your table. you wondered which was the one to sweet talk seth into turning on the music. you were almost certain that it had been jesse.

ellie went for her glass instantly, to which you glanced at her once again out of concern. surely though, you couldn't blame her. she had seemed so stressed lately. so.. tense. more than usual, at least.

jesse's filled glass matched ellie's, a flavor you certainly could never develop a taste for, no matter how troubled you were.

you stared down at your own beverage, swallowing hard. you could already taste it without even taking a sip. the anticipation was surely making it worse.

"cheers," you said suddenly, making your joke obvious by the way that you lifted your drink of choice. "to the happy couple."

dina groaned, reaching across the table to smack playfully at your hand.

"enough with that," dina pressed, but still tapped her glass against your own.

"cheers to this week of patrol being fucking over," ellie chimed in, sharing a knowing look with dina.

you wanted to ask about it, but the way that both of the girls took a long drink after the statement made you keep quiet.

the first sip was the hardest part. you knew how bad it would taste. you forced a straight face and took the biggest drink that you could manage. you swallowed down a cough, which didn't go unnoticed by jesse. he laughed, but didn't tease you.

falling into conversation was easy for your friends. you half listened, mostly focusing on the alcohol in front of you. it wasn't right, you knew that, but you wanted to get the drinking part over with quickly so you could just land at the end result.

get it over with.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

"-don't you think?"

you tore your eyes upwards, wanting to locate the face that belonged to the voice just as you heard your name being impatiently called.

"i said, don't you think? you agree, right?"

ellie was looking at you expectantly.

"yeah. yeah, of course," you found yourself saying.

"oh jesus christ," ellie groaned, shaking her head.

"we've lost her," jesse concluded and you scrambled to sit up straighter in your seat.

"no, you haven't," you forced out. you had been preoccupied, but not lost. maybe your mind had just taken you for hostage, a thought repressed with every sip that you forced down.

your cheeks were starting to feel a little warm, but you were still painfully aware of ellie's body heat next to you and the way that you kept fidgeting with your hair.

"can you really blame him, ellie?" dina continued, not letting your short blip disrupt the conversation. "he just cares about you, that's all."

ellie snorted, and you knew the topic needed to change fast.

"can i try?" you questioned all of a sudden, eyes flicking to the glass held tightly in ellie's hand.

"you don't like it," she reminded you softly, the change in her tone genuinely catching you off guard.

"maybe i do now," you pressed, grateful for the way that dina and jesse began their own conversation from their side of the table. you scooted a little closer to ellie, as much as your chair could allow without swaying. you moved to grab the drink from ellie, but instead she raised the glass to your lips and tilted it. you took a careful sip, eyes scrunching shut as the flavor hit your tongue.

ellie laughed, moving away from you and taking a sip of her own. "that's what i thought," she mumbled, shaking her head with a smile.

"whatever, i'm empty. anyone need a refill?" you announced. it was maybe the third or second round of drinks, you couldn't tell who had what once drinks had started to be shared.

"please," dina grinned, sliding her own cup across the table for you to grab.

you nodded once in acknowledgment before attempting to hop off of the chair. it ended up being more of a slide, steadying yourself with one hand gripping the edge of the table.

"shit," you murmured, standing up straight and collecting the glasses in your hands.

clearly, you had underestimated things. it was only made apparent once you were standing up and moving.

you took focused steps, walking over to the bar and inwardly groaning as seth was very obviously trying not to make eye contact with you. he absolutely hated you, which wasn't much of a loss.. but still humiliating under the circumstances in which the negative feelings arose.

"you gonna drink me out of my own fucking bar again?" seth asked harshly, causing you to wince in reply. you simply shook your head, gesturing to have the cups refilled.

it had been two winters ago, maybe. a close call with ellie at an awkward sleepover had you running to the bison for something to help you cope. you shouldn't have been drinking anyway but you did and seth yelled at you, saying there wasn't going to be any alcohol left for the rest of the town.

the next day, you were horribly sick and ashamed. you spent the day throwing up, wallowing in your own pity.

you had told ellie that you had thought maybe you had the flu.

you debated on ignoring him altogether or making a witty quip, but you took too long to decide and the moment passed.

"just two of the same, please," you mumbled, setting the two glasses in front of him.

seth looked at you and breathed out heavily, squinting his eyes. whatever he wanted to say, he held back as he wordlessly refilled the glasses for you. once returned you smiled, or maybe grimaced, and began to turn away before a nagging idea entered your mind.

you drank, quickly, and had your glass filled once more. it only took a matter of seconds, and you had been convinced that was the last step required to rid yourself of the rather unforgiving thoughts plaguing your brain.

like nothing more even happened, you turned as quickly as possible to the table and made your way back to your friends without spilling any drops.

their boisterous laughter caused the appearance of a frown on your lips. a fear of missing out, why were they laughing so wildly now, once you weren't present for the conversation?

"what're you talking about?" your eyebrows furrowed together as you balanced your body back onto the chair.

"nothing," ellie shook her head, her lips slipping into an amused smile.

"that's not nice," you murmured, cheeks warm as dina reached across the table to grab her drink. "you're leaving me out."

"never," ellie responded, her voice dipping low into a mumble. her hand gently squeezed your forearm, reassuringly.

ellie's touch was gone as quickly as it had came and you held your drink up to your lips, hiding the flustered manner in which your lips twisted about.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

ellie really was trying to focus on whatever jesse was going on about, but your cardigan kept slipping off of your shoulders and your laugh was ringing above the conversation.

her gaze kept wandering to where you were sat next to her, fidgeting with your fingers as you enthusiastically nodded along to the conversation. ellie could tell that you were drunk, or very quickly approaching it, by the way in which you were allowing yourself to fully ramble at the table instead of carefully thinking over and choosing your words.

truthfully, wholeheartedly, ellie adored the way in which you lit up when you told a story.

she leaned back in her seat, hand resting carelessly against her glass as she became more interested in your story than what she was meant to be listening to.

ellie could also tell when you were tipsy, at the very least, because you seemed to be a lot more prone to physical touch. every few seconds your elbow found itself bumping against ellie's. a hand on an arm, a head rested on a shoulder, your head in her lap.

you threw your head back while you laughed, a genuine, nose scrunched type of laugh. ellie quickly tore her eyes away and nearly choked on her drink when your head landed on her shoulder.

"you okay?" ellie mumbled. she might've accidentally interrupted dina, but ellie's words were quiet anyway. her body was tense at the contact and she found herself reaching for her glass once again, fingertips gripping at the rim.

you nodded, your cheek bumping against ellie's shoulder but your words came out in response to dina.

"-and did you see cat's new tattoo?" you asked, your eyes widening in an expression that ellie thought looked like awe.

"no," dina guffawed, and ellie felt you nod again.

"wait, another?" jesse questioned suddenly, and finally ellie had an excuse to join into your conversation.

a bigger gulp of alcohol burned its way down ellie's throat and she swore that she could feel her face flush.

you sat up suddenly, stomach nearly slamming against the table edge as you pushed yourself forward. your laugh was breathy now, as if it had taken all of the effort in the world for you to sit straight. you slapped your hand over your own shoulder blade in explanation. "right there," you clarified.

"what was it?" jesse asked, and ellie noticed that his face was looking a little red as well.

you shrugged. "i didn't get that good of a look," you sighed. "but it's probably something cool."

"damn," dina said wistfully. "she's cool."

ellie scoffed. "bullshit, i have never heard you say that cat's cool."

"what's wrong with cat?" jesse pipped in. you curiously raised an eyebrow, and ellie tried hard not to look at you.

"nothing," ellie defended. "but dina definitely never used to think cat was cool. you used to say quite the opposite, actually."

"did i?" dina teased. "i've never had a problem with her. you guys just weren't right for each other," she completed, settling seriously as her gaze met ellie's.

ellie could feel your eyes on her, and she could very nearly anticipate some smart remark from jesse. dina's gaze was practically unsettling, how intense it was all of a sudden. there was something there, something knowing between herself and dina. ellie brought her glass to her lips once more, a cop out from having to reply.

just like that, the gaze was avoided. your arm bumped against ellie's as you sank down in defeat.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

how had you ever been sad?

the music had been turned up louder, louder than seth's grumbles and protests. it was something old, something with a lot of guitar that sounded like people would dance in boots to. ellie had rolled her eyes and swatted at you after your attempted description, but you didn't mind. you knew it was silly. the alcohol was too strong for you to mind.

you danced with dina, feeling like the most radiant person in the world while your skirt swished around your ankles. your own laughter sounded far away, echoing in your ears. your cheeks genuinely hurt from smiling, and if anyone were to place a hand across your forehead, surely you would feel feverish.

cardigan forgotten, your sleeves had been bunched up between your elbows and wrists. you twirled and twirled, laughing hysterically as your arms got tangled with dina's. you could hear ellie and jesse laughing too, somewhere far away and hazy. you knew in the back of your mind that they were laughing at you, but you didn't mind. you laughed along anyway.

the burn in your throat that tempted a gag with each sip was subdued. each taste no longer prompted a wince, which resulted in probably a sip too many.

you were happy. beaming, even. couldn't you feel like this forever?

time passed in seconds and years while you were drinking in the tipsy bison. had you been dancing ten minutes ago, or ten weeks ago? you looked down at your feet, trying to decide if they looked tired.

you squinted hard. were your feet always this blurry?

"you alright, kid?"

you squinted harder. a man was talking to you. you looked up, and raising your gaze took a few days, maybe.

jesse.

it took a few seconds for his words to process in your ears.

"am i alright?" you questioned, your tongue numb. jesse laughed, so you laugh too.

so silly.

"time for her to go, williams." jesse says. you laughed, then realized he's talking about you, so you twist your lips into a frown.

"no," you disagreed.

ellie raised an eyebrow, in a way that almost looks lazy. she scans you over, almost pretending to be serious, before a lighthearted laugh escapes her.

"ease up," she tells jesse simply. you nodded once along with ellie.

yeah, ease up, you think, because you forgot to move your lips and say it out loud.

everyone seems to be satisfied because the conversation moves along. you sighed, content, and traced your finger along the edge of the table. you mentally searched your brain for the worried fuzz that previously clouded it, but found nothing. the ambience of chatter and laughter was like medicine for your mind.

you were the first of your friends to switch to water. you sipped it slowly, dragging your eyes between dina and jesse. you really did love them, the closest thing to a family that you had ever had. you felt an extremely strong urge to blurt it out then and there, but managed to swallow it along with your water.

you heard ellie laugh so you laughed too, like a reflex. your eyes found her now without even trying, but you never really had to try anyway. it didn't matter if you were sat right next to her or all the way across jackson, you always seemed to just find her. you were completely drawn to her, just as you had always been.

you felt like jelly.

ellie's features had you completely transfixed.

you weren't necessarily listening to the conversation, just studying ellie's features and reactions. the sounds around you had blended together and you blinked heavily, memorizing ellie's side profile as if you hadn't already had it memorized.

your eyes found the strand of hair following the curve of ellie's cheek and chin. the slope of her nose. she kept laughing, the corners of her eyes crinkling up. you stared for so long, your gaze was fixated.

at some point you must've laughed, because suddenly ellie was staring right back at you.

you forget to tear your eyes away, because you just don't really feel the need to.

"the fuck is wrong with you?" ellie questioned.

her eyebrows were knitted together in confusion, though the slow smile that grew on her lips made her look slightly amused, too.

"nothing," you breathed, and not even the alcohol could help the pounding in your chest when ellie looked at you like that.

"-think it's time to call it," jesse concluded, pushing his glass away from him.

"quitter," dina taunted, and she might've leaned in to kiss him but you weren't sure. you weren't looking.

"nothing?" ellie laughed, repeating your words. she squinted at you and leaned in closer, as if that would help her to reveal the truth.

"are you guys heading out too?" dina questioned, standing with jesse.

"in a minute," ellie answered, finally tearing her eyes away from your own.

sloppy goodbye's were given, giggles and thank you's despite seeing each other every day.

you ducked when jesse reached down to ruffle your hair, but you weren't able to dodge it.

ellie watched as dina and jesse left together, hand in hand. once she finally turned back to you, she laughed in astonishment.

"seriously, what?" ellie chuckled, shaking her head under your gaze.

"i don't know, shut up," you avoided, smoothing the material of your skirt over your lap.

"you're a bad liar," ellie said pointedly, leaning in closer with a determined expression as she scanned your facial features.

frowning at ellie's scrutiny, you caved under the minimal pressure that she had applied.

"your hair," you admitted softly. your answer obviously didn't clarify anything for the girl sat next to you. her brows remained furrowed, as if to imply 'go on..'

you shouldn't use alcohol as an excuse, but you did. reaching a gentle hand out, your fingers brushed against the strand of hair that followed the curve of ellie's cheek. her expression seemed to change a million times within the few, short seconds that the interaction lasted.

"i like when you wear it like this," you said simply, dropping your hand back onto your lap. ellie instinctively reached her hand back and touched her hair, cheeks reddening.

"shut up," ellie said, but her tone lacked any real authority.

"why?" you asked back, nearly instantly. "can't i compliment my friend?"

ellie shook her head, dropping her gaze and swallowing a chuckle as she finished off the rest of the liquid from her glass.

"what?" you asked, lips etching into a smile. you weren't sure why you were pushing now, but it was entertaining. "you said i looked pretty earlier, remember that?"

ellie coughed, eyes widening for only the briefest of seconds. "so what? you do look pretty." ellie doubled down, her gaze flicking over you. her voice was smooth, but her cheeks were red. it made you giggle.

"okay, thank you. you do too," you responded, fidgeting with the bottom hem of your sweater.

ellie pushed away from the table, rolling her eyes. "oh, fuck off," she snorted.

you scrambled out of your chair, thankfully grabbing onto the hand that ellie had offered out to you as you hopped down from the high top.

"fuck you, you look good," you insisted.

ellie dropped your hand, her nose wrinkling as she stopped to study you once again. "what's the matter with you?"

"oh my god, williams. you have got to lighten up," you laughed, looking away from her as you shook your head. you felt hot.

ellie was silent as you left the tipsy bison, and your stomach twisted.

was she actually bothered? you were being too much, right?

the sky was dark. everything outside seemed still.

you breathed in deep as the crisp air hit your face. something about the cold air burning your hot cheeks felt like a wave of reality. there was that lingering of the harsh winter still in the air, but something else, too. the promise of a warm spring to come.

"sorry," you said suddenly, concentrating really hard on the steps that you were taking. "i didn't mean to-"

"please. don't be dumb," ellie said. her tone was lighthearted. you were fine.

ellie's pace was relaxed as you both walked. it was a stark contrast from how tense she had seemed previously in the evening. you wondered if she had been using the alcohol to her own advantage too.

lost in thought, you nearly tripped over your own feet. ellie's laughter bounced around the empty road but she grabbed your hand immediately, helping to steady you. ellie didn't let go, so you didn't either.

you looked sideways at her, trying to step carefully so your steps didn't sound clumsy. ellie scanned her surroundings a lot when she walked, even now. it was less pointed now, but you could still notice it.

you thought back to the previous evening, ellie's body in your bed and the way in which she had looked at you. so close, so intentional.

you might've been anxious, but you weren't stupid. it had been a moment, right?

or at least, it almost was.

the alcohol wasn't pacifying anything. your heart rammed against your chest.

"where'd you go?" ellie asked, and the softness of her tone caught you off guard.

"nowhere," you answered, squeezing her hand. "just thinking."

"about?" ellie pressed, purposely bumping into you. you slowed to a stop, shrugging your shoulders.

"everything," you answered simply, dropping her hand. it almost wasn't a lie.

"ah, right. that narrows it down," ellie snarked.

"shut up," you laughed breathlessly, because her face seemed to be the only thing in full focus and ellie's stare was intense, even when it wasn't intended to be.

"what, we're keeping secrets now?" ellie pressed, her voice raising in pitch. her cheeks were still tinted, you could tell even in the dark.

a secret or two was fine to keep, you thought, especially if it was about potentially being in love with your best friend.

"please, as if you don't have any secrets," you retorted, almost a little too accusingly. ellie had been different lately.

off.

ellie shook her head, eyebrows pinching together. "not from you," she answered, taking a step closer. her tone made your heart soar, but something about the way that her eyes changed made her words not entirely believable.

the smallest difference would make you spiral, but that's what the alcohol had been for. now, you could simply play along.

"well, me neither," you insisted as you continued down the familiar path to ellie's.

ellie scoffed in response. "aren't i special?" she said sarcastically.

"you are." your tone was straight forward, adamant.

ellie shook her head, which made you frown. you wanted her to reach for your hand again.

you lingered outside of ellie's, staying back a step as she fumbled with the door.

"i'll see you tomorrow, okay?" you said softly, not enjoying how much effort it was taking you now to enunciate your words.

"you're not coming in?" ellie asked, tilting her head at you. she looked disappointed, you thought.

"i don't know. you're making me nervous," you admitted without any time to regret it.

ellie laughed in disbelief. "what are you talking about?"

"you're being intimidating," you spat out, wrapping your arms around yourself. you wouldn't ever say that to her, but for some reason you did, and now you had to deal with the dejected expression that appeared on ellie's face.

"how?"

"because im kind of drunk and i know i'll say something without thinking."

"something bad?" ellie questioned, eyebrows raised in concern.

"no," you answered.

"i think.. i'm gonna need an example."

you shook your head. "stop. you're being so... i can't handle it.

"i'm not doing anything," ellie argued.

"i know. you're just.. you."

"in a good way, or a bad way?" ellie asked, red in the face and obviously confused. you felt like you were floating, watching your body from afar and silently screaming at yourself to shut up! stop talking!

"a good way. a really, really good way."

brows still pinched together, the tiniest ghost of a smile appeared at ellie's lips. "what're you doing?" she asked slowly, her tone dropping.

"i don't know," you rushed out. you were dizzy. very dizzy, and you felt like you were burning up. you dropped your arms to your sides.

"are you being serious right now, or are you fucking with me?" ellie asked, stepping closer.

your body felt like it was buzzing. your words nearly came out in a whisper.

"i'm serious."

just like that, ellie's nervous guise was dropped. she was suddenly confident, smirking and invading your personal space. it was like all she needed was confirmation that she wasn't being misguided, and she turned into a different person.

"you could've just said so," ellie murmured, eyes darting across your own.

you bumped your back against the door for stability. your knees felt like they could buckle at any second. you wished that maybe you had drank more, because your nerves seemed to be taking control now.

"i don't know what i'm doing," was all that you seemed to be able to muster up with ellie looking at you like that.

your words had some sort of reaction within ellie, because the corners of her lips twitched and she let out a breathy laugh, the scent of alcohol consuming you.

kissing ellie wasn't how you had imagined it to be.

it was sudden and hurried, her lips crashing against your own. your breath caught in your throat once her tongue slid against yours.

you had imagined, maybe, that everything around you would quiet.

instead, all of your senses were on high alert. the taste of alcohol in her mouth, the wind stinging your cheeks. your stomach twisted and turned and your knees threatened to give out at any second.

you pulled away eventually, eyes wild and glistening.

"ellie?"

"was that okay?" ellie's voice was low and you found yourself nodding before her sentence was even finished.

at your confirmation, ellie gripped your hip with one hand to keep you steady as she pushed the door open with her free hand. the door swinging out from behind you almost made you jump, so ellie tightened her grip.

ellie's lips were on yours again within seconds of kicking the door shut. you were blind, taking backwards steps into ellie's house.

your heart was pounding. you swore ellie could hear it. you squeezed your eyes shut, forcing yourself to not think.

you gasped once your back hit the wall and ellie tilted her head, deepening the kiss when you were steady once again.

her calloused fingertips slipped underneath the hem of your tank top, ghosting along your stomach and waist. the shaky sigh that you released into the kiss seemed to only encourage her more.

surely you would need to breathe soon, but you wouldn't dare pull away.

it wasn't anything like you allowed yourself to imagine, but that was fine. you weren't disappointed, it was just different.

you got the sudden urge to step back and look at her, to make sure that she was still your ellie, but you wouldn't.

stop. thinking.

ellie's hands were on your neck and then your shoulders, pushing your cardigan away from your arms and onto the floor. you dug your fingertips into the fabric of her shirt, pulling her body against your own. each breath apart was hurried and shaky, as if you couldn't collapse together again quick enough.

ellie's mouth attached to your jaw, kissing upwards until she was right below your ear. you gasped at the feeling, a small breathy sound leaving your throat and you could feel ellie smirk against your jaw.

butterflies exploded in your stomach. your hands were shaking as you wrapped your arms around ellie's shoulders, tugging her closer and pulling her lips back to yours.

this was everything that you had always wanted, right?

so you tried to push away the growing pit in your stomach and focus on the feeling of ellie's fingers tracing against your flesh.

goosebumps pricked over your bare arms and your body knocked against ellie's. one of her hands dipped to the waistband of your skirt and you nearly squeaked in surprise. ellie's other hand pushed your tank top upwards, exposing the underside of your bra.

you barely had one second to be insecure before ellie was mumbling against your lips.

"you're so-" ellie pressed a kiss below your ear.

"fucking," another kiss, on your neck.

"pretty," ellie concluded, kissing your collarbone before her mouth found way back to yours.

of course, ellie had complimented you before. but the low, raspy tone of her voice now was the cause of a deep warmth that spread throughout your entire body. despite it, you shivered at her touch, ellie’s fingertips tracing along your skin.

ellie’s name left your mouth as a whisper, though it still gained her attention. she pulled away, just barely, her eyes boring into your own as her fingertips pulled at your hips.

“is this okay?” she asked, her words serious and steady.

you nodded, trying desperately not to shy under her gaze. “promise,” you whispered.

ellie kissed you again, the movements bordering on erratic. you straightened your back against the wall the best that you could manage and lifted your leg, hooking it around ellie's waist to tug her closer.

she made a sound of surprise against your mouth, but the way that she kissed you showed you that she was more than okay with it.

the skirt that you were wearing was being bunched around your thighs, ellie haphazardly tugging it upwards so her hand could roam your thigh.

your breath hitched, every single thought in your mind ramming together and forming mush. you slipped your fingers underneath ellie's shirt, pressing your palms against her back.

you couldn't believe this was happening. and yet, it wasn't like how you had imagi-

her fingers squeezed at your upper thigh, so light it was almost like it hadn't even happened. you gasped once your body jolted in reaction, earning a small chuckle from ellie.

you hadn't drank enough, apparently, to save yourself from being embarrassed.

you kissed her to make up for it, swallowing a whine once the sensation appeared yet again. ellie's fingers trailed across your underwear, like she was taking her time.

it was a stark contrast from how you were kissing, as if each tiny breath was too much time apart.

you were nearly certain that your hands were shaking. your nails dipped into ellie's back, causing her to sigh against your lips. once her fingers slipped under the waistband of your underwear, you were done for.

you had never- obviously. ellie knew that. was she considering that now?

you assumed ellie had. though she never really seemed to like to talk about that sort of stuff with you. she had been with cat for awhile-

you deepened the kiss, speeding up to match the pace of ellie's movements.

not the time to think about the past.

ellie's fingers dipped lower and your breath was shallow, legs weak with anticipation.

"ellie-" you mustered, the words barely audible and practically swallowed by the kiss. ellie heard it, however, and something about it made her pull away.

ellie snapped back, her lips leaving yours just as suddenly as it had been when she first kissed you. she quickly pulled her hands away, taking a step back.

you nearly gulped the air, trying to catch your breath and make sense of the situation. you pressed a hand against the wall behind you, steadying yourself.

"ellie? what's-"

"shit," ellie murmured, taking another step away from you and shutting her eyes tight.

your stomach dropped.

the situation was unfamiliar to you, but anyone could tell that something was wrong.

this wasn't how it was supposed to be.

you froze, eyes wide and lips swollen. you watched as ellie raked her hands through her hair, pacing away from you.

"ellie, what?" you pressed, your voice coming out in a pathetic whisper.

"nothing," ellie dismissed, refusing to meet your eyes.

your heart hammered against your chest, a wave of emotions flooding over you.

shame, disgust, guilt, regret-

"el-"

"seriously, nothing. it's just late. you drank a lot, right?" ellie accused, staring at the floor.

you shook your head, humiliation digging a hole into your stomach. "not too much, obviously. i'm fine, what's-"

"it's just late," ellie repeated. "i'm tired. you should probably get home."

and there it was.

you pressed your palm harder against the wall in an effort to prevent yourself from collapsing onto the floor.

every doubt, every insecurity, every reason preventing you from being honest with ellie about your feelings rang true in your head. your anxieties had been right, and now there was no taking it back.

you tried to catch her eye in the dark, but ellie wasn't budging.

"w-what?" you breathed out, tears pricking in your eyes.

"you should probably get going," ellie reinforced, her voice devoid of any emotion.

before you could get another word in or even process what the fuck had just happened, ellie turned her back and left the room.

you stood alone in the dark, hands trembling at your sides.

what?

you stayed still for a moment, holding your breath and hoping that ellie would come back.

she didn't.

you gathered your cardigan from the floor, rushing to cover your arms and flee from the scene of the crime.

your body felt as though it was in shock when you were greeted again by the cold night. the unforgiving chill and the fevered warmth throughout your body were battling to win, each sensation fighting to take over.

you wobbled only a few steps away from ellie's house. your stomach lurched. you only had a second to keel over before you threw up, all of the alcohol and shame making itself apparent on the street.

you wrapped your arms tight around your body, trying to force your brain to wrap itself around what happened. you couldn't make sense of it.

you thought that you might throw up again, but instead a sob choked its way up your throat.

you waited just a second, sobs rattling your chest with your arms tightly wrapped around yourself. you stared at her house, willing her to come outside, tell you it was some sort of sick joke and comfort you.

you knew that she wouldn't.

you carried yourself home, steps heavy and uneven. you stifled your cries until you were inside, falling to the ground as soon as your door was shut.

nothing, you thought, felt as bad as this right now.

you rested the back of your hand against your forehead, willing this all to be some sort of alcohol, feverish induced dream.

surely that didn't just happen. it couldn't have, you didn't want it to.

even if ellie was just interested in some sort of drunken hookup and then came to her senses, you were her best friend. how could she suddenly be so detached, so casually cruel without another regard for your feelings? even if she didn't like you, you were her best friend.

you cried like a stubborn child having a tantrum.

it was all that you could really manage to do.

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

tags :

@skylerwhitwyo @muthafuckingstargirl @minustwofingers @mirrorballels @macaroni676 @sapphicontherun @crxmxnzl-c0rpzes @patricks-fabulous-face @bready101 @elliewilliamsonlygirlfriend

[ i know it's been awhile! if you would like to be removed from the taglist, please just let me know <3 same thing goes for added! ]

[itsmealaiah]

"not exactly"

TW: making out, drunk kissing, profanity, mentions of homophobia, assigned male at birth reader, tongue-kissing, he/him pronouns, alcohol use

Request: Hear me out. Bill and an m!reader who are at an after party with the rest of the band, and are secretly just waiting to get drunk enough to where they can make out and blame it on the alcohol. And I mean like PASSIONATE making out, like bill is on reader’s lap and they’re just shoving their tongues down eachothers throats… BUT pictured get leaked and at a band interview the interviewer asks and they’re just like “uhm- uh- we were drunk.” LIKE NO SHIT Anyway, love the work💕

Rating: 18+, mature themes ahead.

WC: 0.7k

Pairing: bill kaulitz x m! reader

"Can I get a whiskey sour?"

You asked the bartender, three drinks lying by your arm on the bar as you felt a little buzzed, but other than that you were doing fine. You smiled as he made the drink and placed it in front of you, downing the alcohol within seconds, slamming it back down onto the counter.

You were at an after-party with the band, celebrating the end of another successful concert and another successful night. The place chosen, by tom of course, was a club with plenty of female entertainment. It didn't quite intrigue you though, your interests set...somewhere else.

A tall man with black hair and a sexy voice, to be more detailed.

You had loved him since day one, he was so kind and sweet to everyone, always treating the person he was with carefully with the utmost respect.

It made you head over heels for him, but you weren't sure if he reciprocated the feelings you had. He was so nice to you, but he tended to seem more interested in women than he was with yourself.

You didn't mind, until tonight, where he sat all alone, sipping on a drink while his brother was getting grinded on by some hooker, smiling drunkenly in pleasure.

You turned your barstool around and hopped off, making your way through the sweaty, dancing crowd over to him, and plopping down on the seat next to him, his eyes darting to you as you caressed his thigh. "hey billy"

you purred in his ear, nibbling on his earlobe as he blushed profusely. 'h-hi y/n" he stuttered nervously.

your hand drifted away from his thigh, going up to his semi-hard crotch and you began to rub it through his black jeans, grinning wickedly as you saw his body jerk and his eyes role backwards.

"how are you?" you asked, his lips wide open sluttily as his eyes closed from the pleasure. "g-good" he murmured, his cock now fully hard. "mm, that's nice to hear" you whispered sensually, palming his cock faster as he moaned.

you brought your lips to his, the softness meeting yours as you made out with him, still rubbing on his poor dick :(

he moaned into your mouth, allowing your tongue to slip in and roam around his mouth, pressing your lips further into his, wrapping your hand around his waist, holding him close

"haah" he struggled to keep up with the kisses, being too close to bliss to be bothered.

His release was fast approaching, his moans more desperate and throaty as your mouth left his, leaving a gentle kiss on his shoulder as you bit gently, causing him to cum in his pants as he shook.

"y-y/n" "yes billy?" "c-can we go back to your house?"

then yall fucked nastily 😝

The next day the five of you were seated at an interview, smiling as the fans cheered for tom and bill the most.

The interviewer greeted you all with a joyful face, and pulled the cards from the table, and asked you a few, concerning the band's next concert, where the next tour was going to be, and about tom's sex life.

After those questions, his gaze drifted to you, and you met his eyes with confusion. you weren't usually asked questions being the vocalist.

"so y/n, i heard you had a little fun last night" he winked to you and bill, and you flushed, immediately denying the statement as the rest of the band looked intrigued.

you laughed, trying to play it off. "i'm not sure what you're talking about" you attempted to lighten the air.

"are you sure?" the interviewer pressed. "can we pull up the pictures?" he asked and soon, the scenes of your escapade at the club were displayed for everyone.

you glanced over at them, and then at bill, who was hiding his face, his cheeks flushed dark red.

"do you know what i'm talking about now?"

Taglist: @madzandmore @20doozers @tomscumdump @tomssexdoll @billslittlewhore @charliesgoodboy

Comment to be tagged!

Requests are open! keep sending them in!

[savnofilter]

Wet Dreamz | Katsuki Bakugo

Pro Hero!Katsuki Bakugo x Pro Hero!Black![FEM]Reader

CONTENT WARNING(S): sexual content, mutual (?) pining, hint of infidelity, bakugo & reader are a duo, reader is in their head a LOT, clubbing, grinding, shifty hands mentions of perversion, voyeurism, fingering (m->f), making out, blue balling, mentions of infidelity, slight sero x reader, bakugo & reader are basically playing cat and mouse.

WORD COUNT: 10.8k words (45 mins).

I/B: wet dreamz by j. cole | wired interview w/bts

READ MORE: masterlist + [bakugo & students masterlist]

KEY:

y/n = your name.

l/n = last name.

h/n = hero name.

h/n/n = hero nickname.

c/n= country name.

g/s= grading system.

h/t = home town.

"italics" = words in full quotation marks is indicated as English.

bold = words in full quotation marks is indicated as your native language.

A/N: just because ie didnt want reader to just be a american, i left things like talking in native language to be up to interpretation. almost everything is up for interpretation in this one lol. slowly tryna get used to writing real stories instead of just fuckin. makes me wish ie was doing this earlier because it's actually really fun to think stuff up for stories. not rushing and getting smt out to have it out lol. the lyrics are… interpreted in a different kind of way, sort of play on words if you will. anyways hope y'all like it! i sure did. 🫶🏽 thank you anon!

"Cameras rolling in—"

The camera crew were finishing the set up in the background, the makeup stylists were adding their additional touches and you only had a few seconds to mentally prepare for your filming.

"Three, two …. !"

Snap.

"Hi! My name is Y/N, better known as H/N!"

"And I'm Bakugo Katsuki, also known as Dynamight."

"And we are here with WIRED to answer the web's most searched questions!" You two finished the cut unanimously.

The camera cuts to you as you turn to him with a nervous jitter, still with the joyful appearance you always kept. "I'm pretty nervous, people are wild these days."

H/N.

A hero that represented what it means to be a young, headstrong role model. A hero that was from a country outside of Japan whom Bakugo was immediately infatuated with upon first meeting.

L/N.

His interest in your last name marked your own culture, despite being foreign to him. The name you didn't say as you introduced yourself to the camera.

Y/N.

Your first name that he is always itching to say, practicing day and night how it'd finally roll off his tongue when you two could get to that stage. Today seemed to be that day.

You two had been paired up as a duo for about over a year now for some hero promotions and the chemistry between you two had been gradually growing. Indeed, you did not speak much as you had initially expressed not being confident in your Japanese abilities when you moved to Japan, but he is deeply impressed by your determination to continue learning the language.

"Oh! The boards are in English, I might excel in this." You joke, towards the camera.

"You excel in a lot of things, H/N/N." Bakugo promptly responds and he's just as quick to move on after he pulls up the cardboard and tilts it to the side, ready to officially start the interview off. Your lips purse together as you swallow the budging feeling to crack a smile at the personal nickname. Bakugo always had a knack for nicknaming people, but hearing yours out loud in front of everyone else gave you an entirely different feeling. One you couldn't place.

"Who is in…?" The blonde-haired male tilts the board as he reads it, proving his dexterity as he also rips the label off to reveal the rest of the first search. You could tell he was struggling a bit and you move your head to read it as well.

"Firecracker," You finish off with a smile, sitting closer to the edge of your seat as you look at it. "Although we just introduced ourselves, I'm sure we can spruce it up a little?"

Bakugo takes the initiative with a subtle nod, using his other hand to gesture to you as he introduces you for the repetitive round of introduction.

"This is, Y/N or "better known as" H/N. One of, maybe, only heroes I can tolerate."

You can't help but laugh at his rendition, nodding your head as you adjust yourself in your seat. "The honesty, wow! We have, uh," You turn more to your side, looking him up and down before looking into his eyes. "Lord Explosion Murder: Dynamight? But you may know him as just Katsuki." You look back at the cameras as you finish, a bit of sass as you conclude.

Katsuki.

The way you said it just sounds so much better than when anyone else says it.

An unexpected chuckle comes from him as he teases you back. "I think I liked my intro better than yours." He rips off the next label and turns the board for you to read.

"Who in Firecracker got their quirk first? " You hum and look up at him, face full of concentration now. Bakugo's gaze is completely focused on your face as you go into deep thought, scarlet eyes taking in your change of expressions. His gaze follows your body and takes in the details of your outfit, the volume in your hair, and the way that the makeup stylist (fortunately) did you justice that properly accentuated everything beautiful about your skin tone and features.

Bakugo was starting to like everything about you, and he was starting to crush hard.

"I think I got mine in, uh…" You roll your eyes to the right as you look back at the camera, perking up as it comes to you. "I guess at five years old… you guys would call it during yōchien. For me it's called, "G/S". How about you, Katsuki?"

He's smug in response, puffing up his chest as he looks into the camera with pure arrogance. "Four years old. That means I win this question."

"I didn't know we were competing." You joke back.

He soon peels off the last question for the section, turning the board to him to keep it to himself. "I want to read it."

"Oh, okay…"

"Who is the strongest in Firecracker? " Before he's finished with the question you're already grinning and pointing towards Bakugo. He scoffs and rolls his eyes, throwing the bit of paper on the floor and adjusting himself in his seat, his demeanor flustered if you were paying close attention to him.

"We're both fuckin' strong. Give yourself more credit."

You double-blink as you try to rack something up to say. Bakugo has never complimented you before—at least nothing more than "good work today" or a "nice job out there" or something along the lines of that. You did notice lately he's been more communicative with you, but you chalked it up to the fact that maybe he can tolerate you more now with the fact your Japanese is getting better. Still, you had no compass or direction to tell what he was feeling at any given moment.

To your rescue, an exasperated callout comes from behind the cameras, making you laugh out as well as the camera crew behind the director.

"Watch the potty mouth, Bakugo-kun!"

You give Bakugo's shoulder a light push, immediately going to grab the next board for a visual excuse for your nervous fiddling. "We both know how incredible your strength is! I'm being real."

                     — ✮ ★ ☆ —

The rest of the recording went pretty well, and the chemistry between you two was undeniable. It seemed as though the longer the shoot went, the more comfortable you two got with each other. It hadn't hit you until now that you and him never really talked before.

Of course, it's not like you two ignored each other, no, that wasn't the case. But finding out things like what his favorite meal is during a movie, or why he loved hiking so much made you want to learn more about him. He is also much funnier than you had thought.

You were pretty aware of the rabid fanbase that followed him consistently. The fan edits, the stans, the ones who truly believed they were going to marry the young man. The thought made you cringe as you thought back on your first reaction upon hearing that you two were being paired together for this joint project.

"This will be a great opportunity to reach a further fanbase across the globe in countries that love to support their favorite superheroes!" Your manager exclaimed in excitement before wiggling her brows as she nudged you. "And by support, you know what I mean…"

"Financially?" You finished her sentence, an uninterested look on your features.

"Yes! This will be such a big break for you. Think about it -- they see you paired with one of their top heroes. One, they'll think you can keep up with him. Two, this is an opportunity to grow your exposure as a fairly new hero on the scene. But third, and most importantly the country relations." She looked at you with a serious look this time, her gaze strong.

You scoffed at the implications of the "perks". You were sitting still in the comfort of your manager's old office, your unmoving reaction giving her an insight into how you had truly felt.

"Look, I know you like to be on that 'I can do this myself' tirade, but this will look great. For both of you."

"But at the expense of me though," You crossed your arms and looked down at your feet as you couldn't help but feel blindsided. "I mean, you didn't even ask me. I have never been to Japan, and I don't even know this dude. He could be a fucking creep for all I know!"

"Y/N." She said it as a warning for your tone. She sighs and softens up a bit, but still maintains her composure. "This is something that could be good for you. Think about the titles, the awards, hell even the recognition. Isn't that what you want?"

Not when it sounds like that, no. You didn't become a hero and train this much for the fame of it. You weren't an idiot, and you knew that part of the job is to get your face out there. But a part of you feared that you could become a person who would only go for things that will look good without actually doing the part.

"Do you seriously think you'll be some big-shot hero while staying a nobody in here? We need to expand."

You scoffed at her wording, eyes flickering up to look at her in offense. "So you think I can't be successful on my own?"

"Y/N-"

"I get that there isn't much of a demand here, but I feel as though I am fulfilling my duties. I don't need to be famous to make an impact. I like it here."

"You aren't thinking long term. There simply isn't enough demand, and that has to change. I know it's hard but you have to trust me." She reached across the desk to hand you the papers, the gesture not received on your end.

Sasha called out your name as you muttered a dismissal from the meeting. You stood up as you gathered your stuff from her desk, packing up the discarded papers and other supplies. You knew you were being dramatic, but rightfully so. This was never discussed, nor did you ever think you would have to live in a foreign place. It was so painfully random and left field that you couldn't help but feel slighted that such a big decision was already made for you. Especially where foreigners weren't exactly welcomed and that thought alone made you nervous.

That night was hazy if you remember correctly. You didn't have anything to attend to, you just wanted out. You were worried sick about this new endeavor. You would have to say goodbye to everything you had built at home. The community, the friends, the experiences. All for this opportunity. You were an emotional mess and honestly, as you cringe thinking about it now, it wasn't that serious but it sure felt like it. You were only given a year to brace yourself for the inevitable, train, say goodbye to the people you were used to seeing every day, and on top of that, learn a whole new fucking language.

One thing you did remember correctly though was your manager calling you to check up. When it had slipped up that you were currently out drinking and sad about yourself, she hopped in her car and immediately came to your rescue to pick you up before you could do something stupid. The car ride was silent as she didn't want to chew you out then and make you feel any worse than you already did. When the time was right, she had thought up something to say. It was her words that stuck with you that made you start to reconsider this business decision.

"Listen, if I told you, I know that you would say no," Sasha said as she held your hand, voice softer than ever. "But I know you deserve better and bigger than this." She sits up a bit in her chair that sat on the side of your bed and properly tucked your hair back into your hair cover. "It's not because I don't think you're incapable. It's because I know you would stay here in this small town without growing and staying in your ways."

"But I like it here… I like the people. My family is here… the community needs me…" Your voice cracked at the end as tears started to spill from your eyes. "I can't just leave. it's more than the accolades, the fame. I want to make a change and I c-can't do that if I'm not here."

She hums as she brings you in for a hug, a twinge of hurt coming from her. Sasha felt awful seeing you like this, and she was aware that even when in her best intentions her decisions could be harsh. Even if she wanted nothing but to see you succeed, she wanted you to be happy too.

"Listen," She starts as she wipes your tears. "We'll figure something out, okay? You won't be abandoning this place. If I can secure a deal like this, I'm sure I can sway some more from the company to get you happy. Alright?"

You meekly nod, your overflow of emotions never stopping as you can't calm yourself. You were too destroyed to come around to the idea. You were terrified of the turn of options and all the drinking you did that night did not help one bit. You are so used to being well-liked, what would the world offer when you change from a small hero in your H/T to a big international one? To what lengths did you have to keep giving yourself up to make the higher-ups happy? Were you in over your head choosing this path?

These questions were justified, but it all came back to the same common theme: boxing yourself in. If you didn't want to do this, you would've called it quits long ago. But here you were, and even with all the villains you've taken down, this seemed scarier. Nothing is more frightening than putting yourself somewhere you are emotionally vulnerable. And for the lack of a better word, alone.

You'd have to start again, meet new people, start a new routine. How would you be able to adapt?

"You'll have a year and some change before you go over. I've already been scouting for the best Japanese tutors out there." She pulled back when it seemed as though your sobbing had subsided and she smiled. "I'll get you the best of the best and I'll be damned if you're not taken care of."

You nodded wordlessly and wiped the tears from your cheeks. She handed you your water bottle once you sit up, a hand on your back for support.

"So think about it, please. I know it's scary to think about, but this can help you. Seriously." She stands up and tidies up the area before gathering her stuff. "And you won't be alone, remember that."

She smiles before closing your bedroom door leaving you to your muddled thoughts.

Later on, it was revealed that your pairing would have the "organic" formation. You two would be put together for a few big missions and soon enough when the public would notice, that's when the process of being in a semi-duo would take effect. Your manager made sure to stress how it was important the two of you kept your individual identities to cover all basis. No fan will be completely pushed out of their comfort zone while you two could rely on each other when the job needed it. The other part of the deal was that you would be able to work almost more than half of the year in Japan whilst being able to use the other days to visit back to your country and most importantly your home town.

It was a win-win and you couldn't thank Sasha any more than you did when she relayed the news. When recounting it, you can vividly remember the amount of relief that washed over you to the point it made you emotional again. The feeling of embarrassment had also risen to the surface and you profusely apologized about the prior outbursts to the initial news. In manager fashion, she hushed you before reassuring you that it was her job to get her client right and out there. If you didn't have her, you honestly weren't sure where you'd be right now.

But unfortunately, the things you overthought about weren't exactly wrong either. Most of the things that popped up in your head had come to fruition, some worse than others. Being in a duo with a male counterpart was rough. Especially if he was hot young and (seemingly) a bachelor. People didn't like to see their fave with the opposite sex who seemed to be of that same description with the added addition that they don't come from the same background as well.

Recently after the WIRED interview, the fans were starting to come along to the idea much more than it seemed. Many more positive comments were starting to pop up online and now the public perception of your pairing was really starting to kick off.

There was a mixture of comments that ranged from, "Wow! They look so cute together" "You have to admit they do get the job done" to "I fucking hate XYZ" and we don't need to address the vulgar ones…

Of course, at first, you use to read those comments for hours. You'd be stuck on an unhealthy loop, emotions from high to low as it seemed there was never a day that didn't have all kinds of comments and interactions. Some days are better than others, and some days you'd have to force yourself to log off and do other things in your life. But all in all, the interview seemed to be a hit so now both your agencies are scrambling to book more to boost engagement.

You sigh as you stretch out onto your couch, thinking about how two years have been both hell and a blessing. You stare up at your ceiling as your phone locks, setting it on your coffee table.

The idea to message Sasha as you recounted past and recent memories started to poke at you. You still hesitate on the action though considering the fact you know she's always busy with her schedule. You feel a buzz and you pick up your phone, the text catching your attention.

Sasha-Sama 👯‍♀️

Are you up for going out today?

[->] Sent 13:34.

'speaking of the devil….' you smile and swipe up to correspond to her message.

You

depends. what am I leaving for?

[✓] Sent 13:35.

Sasha-Sama 👯‍♀️

I've got a client I want you to get closer with.

Management says it'll be good for you to get more acquainted with the heroes here. You might actually like her.

[✓] Sent 13:41.

You hum in curiosity, thinking about it a bit before replying.

You

who is it?

[✓] Sent 13:42.

Chat bubbles pop up on your screen and you watch as she types up her response. Today you were taking a very much-needed break for the week and you weren't too sure if you wanted to go out and do some crazy amount of networking.

Sasha-Sama 👯‍♀️

Mina and a few others are in the top 10 for Japan.

You may have met her already, at those galas a few times.

[✓] Sent 13:47.

Your brows quirk up at the name. You're quick to open Instagram, wanting to see a more personal image of her than the one you would see from a search engine.

Oh.

Yeah, you remembered her. She was lively for sure and everyone around her seemed to like her as well. Her page was a mix of official posts and personal ones, perfectly balancing out professional and niche drives to curate an audience. There were even a few posts that were shitposts too.

You were intrigued. Now that you thought about it, you didn't have any friends here… like at all. You spent most of your time focused on work, and if not that, then interacting with your fans in person and online. When you weren't doing either of those things, you were studying Japanese. Surely the studying paid off though with the additional advantage of living in the environment to grasp the content. One could even call your behavior shut-in, but could you blame yourself? Even with your determination to get yourself out there, it was hard. You were still trying to adjust to all of this, and you haven't hit your time mark to visit home just yet. Hell, you can't even remember the last time you got laid.

Your phone dinging catches your attention again and you realize that you hadn't got back to your manager yet.

Sasha-Sama 👯‍♀️

So is it a yes? I will be forwarding your number to her.

[✓] Sent 13:56.

You think a bit before coming to a decision but you need a bit more info first.

You

yes for now, but who else will be there?

you mentioned something about a few others.

[✓] Sent 13:59.

Sasha-Sama 👯‍♀️

Well, I know that Bakugo will be there, but I am not sure who the other people are. Just got in that it's actually not just the top 10, just a few other heroes around the province as well.

[✓] Sent 14:02.

You hesitate at the information on your screen. Bakugo is going to be there? You're not sure why, but a sense of anxiousness starts to flood you as you start to think about him in such a casual setting. You blink a few times as you rub your forehead, now starting to rethink your decisions.

Sasha-Sama 👯‍♀️

Y/N, you will be fine. I'm sending a car to pick you up at 18:30. Wear something… "cunty" and cute. There might be paps there so look good pls. 👀

[✓] Sent 14:05.

You groan loudly at her text and almost want to throw your phone. Is she for real? Even when you need to go out to meet people, it's still about your image. You wanted to text her your thoughts, but a better part of you knows that this outing is probably for your good. You just hoped that these people weren't controversial and this wouldn't be hard work to clean up anything that comes along with their bullshit. You doubted the idea as you remember how much your agency wants to push you to the public. Anything that could be a blip in your appearance was always scrapped and replaced. They were your last safety net to coast safely in this whole hero-ing thing if you were being honest.

You

Sasha… 😐

"cunty"??? PLEASE.

[✓] Sent 14:09.

Sasha-Sama 👯‍♀️

↳ Liked your picture.

🤷🏾‍♀️

Love you, N/N! And stay safe, you know to call me if anything is going on. 💪🏾

[✓] Sent 14:11.

You jokingly send a thumbs down in retaliation to her message, albeit hearting the message as you know she means well. Turning your head to the side, you find yourself staring back at your TV's black mirror. You still had a lot of time left so you decided to at least start prepping for the evening ahead of time.

To prevent the inevitable disruption of hunger, you make your way into the kitchen and decide to get something to eat. You prepare leftover protein to eat with noodles that you've wanted to try all week. It's like when you think of mixing a food combo but take forever to put it into fruition. In anticipation of your ingenious meal, you eagerly await its arrival as the smell taunts you as you wait.

Once it's done you are in no rush to scarf down your food. You even sit down at one of the high chairs on your island with a half-awake presence. It was no surprise that you woke up late today due to the fatigue that comes along with being a pro-heroin. You couldn't even recount the last time you sat down and ate a meal like this. Back in the day (why did you age yourself like that?) when you were in, H/T, you always had enough time to do everything. To experience everything. Yes, you felt blessed to be here even with how hard it's been, but to be able to just sit and relax was a whole new feeling of euphoria you haven't felt in a while. The feeling was pretty nice.

You scoff as you try to think about how things can change so fast. As you blankly stare at your surroundings, you map out the different things you should get to make your penthouse more "homey". It was a very nice and very, very, very expensive place. One that you were definitely not paying for yourself, one that your company took the liberty to do. You have only been able to get the basic things you need for a living space, and only some decorations to truly make it yours. Hell, you even had more clothes than furniture and dishes combined. But that was thanks to sponsors and of course, having to properly ration your paychecks. You had to admit your living space being taken care of for you was an immense help to begin with so you didn't want to complain too much.

Your phone buzzing on the couch successfully gains your attention and you can't help but sigh in annoyance. One thing to also note about being in Japan is that you were practically on call all the time. There was a reason you couldn't leave your phone on silent. You finish up your current bite before hopping down from your chair and trudging your way to your device. You light up upon the contact on your screen. It's an unknown number but the person messaging you makes themselves known in their message.

XXX-XXX-XXXX

hiya! this is Mina!! heard you were coming out with me tonight! 🤟

hope this is the right number lol

[✓] Sent 14:39.

You

Hey! Yes, this is the right number, haha.

My name's Y/N :)

[✓] Sent 14:40.

Mina

your name is SO CUTE! it really suits you <3

[✓] Sent 14:41.

Your heart flutters as you receive the compliment, a giddy grin spreading across your lips as you get more eager to contact her.

You

Thank you! I could say the same for you 🫶🏽

[->] Sent 14:42.

Your thumbs hover over your screen as you try to think of something else to say, not wanting the conversation to die so fast. She hasn't seen your message yet and hopes something comes out of this interaction. Deciding not to stress about it too much, you resume finishing your meal.

So many thoughts run through your mind as you try to prepare yourself for tonight. Even in your hometown, you didn't frequent clubs or bars often, especially not with well-established individuals your age either. It seemed as though Mina was nice enough but you had to factor in the fact Bakugo was going to be there. Then it was also the added stress that other people you didn't even know would be there as well.

You still have no real idea of Bakugo. He seemed pretty reserved, almost goody-two-shoes-like. But honestly, you're sure you gave off the same image as well. Something about him just gave… in the clean. Saying innocent felt like a stretch but you were starting to lean towards that with his mostly clean record. But that could easily be attributed to the fact there was no doubt his agency was probably paying out-of-pocket to keep the shit he does on the low. Maybe you should take it upon yourself to look into him…

Amid your inner thinking, you had decided to clean up the kitchen after your brunch. Having just finished eating, you are now cleaning your dishes. Some dishes were left in the sink and strewn about, but the place thankfully wasn't a pigsty. You rest your hands on the edge of the sink, thinking about the many ways tonight can go before reminding yourself that any time you have tried to predict the future, shit has always gone left field. You hum as you shut the tap water off when you finish and push off the sink to find a towel to dry your hands with. You make your way back to your phone and sit down on one of the high-up chairs as you check your phone.

Mina

this is sort of sudden, but do you want to go shopping with me tonight? figured you don't have that many friends anyways

we can get to know each other!

[✓] Sent 14:57.

Well damn. She ain't have to say it like that. You feel a tad embarrassed at the wording but make up your mind anyway. You itch the back of your neck as you reply immediately.

You

Of course! I would love to. When should I get ready?

[✓] Sent 14:59.

Mina

i figured you'd say yes lol. omw what's your address?

[✓] Sent 15:00.

Your brows shoot up at the late notice and hesitate a bit. You look at the time before deciding to go along with it anyways.

You

000-0000 Shibuya-ku

[✓] Sent 15:03 P.M.

Mina

sweet! will be there soon 😉

[✓] Sent 15:04.

                     — ✮ ★ ☆ —

"Hey!" Mina calls out from her car as soon as the windows are rolled down. "You are so much cuter in person!" She unlocks her doors and gives you a wink as you bashfully laugh at her friendly flirting.

"Thank you, you too." You smile as you get in and adjust yourself. You look around as you get settled and admire the layout. You still have yet to get your license and being driven around could sometimes get tiring.

"I was thinking that we should go to that new store in that big shopping district mall in the district. They usually have cute stuff on sale there." Mina suggests. She expertly pulls off and looks over at you with a grin before reaching over to playfully nudge you. "No need to be so tense around me! I totally get you are probably really nervous. Don't worry, I can get you hooked up." She smirks as she looks back at the road, giving you a small glance before she finishes her thought. "In more ways than one…"

"A-Ah, I'm not too sure about that one." You nervously laugh. "If I'm being honest I haven't done anything at all since I've been here… especially, that."

With the gasp she let out, you would think that you just told her you work for the League of Villains. As she reaches a red light she looks over at you with a shocked look, completely flabbergasted at your admission.

"Are you serious?!"

"Completely."

"Not even joking?"

"I am so serious."

"...how?" She looks away completely in silence and scoffs. "Doesn't matter anyways, we'll get you laid in no time~"

You chuckle at her determination and shake your head. "To be honest I'm not really in the mood for that stuff… I kind of like being by myself. It's way less stressful."

"Well, no one said you have to be committed. A little fun once in a while doesn't hurt."

You hum in agreement and rest your arm on the armrest. Mina wasn't completely wrong, but you were totally out of the loop by now. You had to leave behind all of your suitors and sneaky links in H/T. Even then you were too busy with work. There were moments when you wanted to get out there for some sort of excitement to ease your boredom, but nothing ever came of it. Your desire to relinquish your needs always ends with you, your toys, and your imagination. A bit devastating if you think about it too hard.

The bustling shopping district Nina talked about isn't too far from your place and you have also learned that Mina lived pretty close to you as well. There are so many people moving about; lots of people doing their things and plenty who seemed to recognize you both. Luckily, she knew of some ways to avoid crowds.

By the time you two had made it to the mall, basically half an hour and then some had passed. Mina sucked her teeth as she looked at her phone to check the time, her manicured nails tapping against the screen as she spoke to you.

"Ah, who cares? The place is pretty laid back. Being a little late might make you look cooler."

Mina had persuaded you to stop by her favorite boba cafe near the newly opened stores. And surely after reassuring you a bit, she had convinced you to let her take care of the spending for today (although you decided in your head that you'd pay her back).

She grins at you as she finally puts her phone away to look at the menu board. You watch as she effortlessly orders her usual at the kiosk. You attempted to keep up with her movements but it proved to be a difficult task. This pink-haired girl was much more assertive and bold than you thought she would be. Everything she did was done with such confidence and carefree energy that you felt mesmerized by how she carried herself. Though her bluntness did shock you a bit from time to time. The way she talks to you is like you two have known each other for years instead of the fact you two have only greeted each other in passing at formal events. It was her unique sense of being a girl's-girl that made it much easier to get more comfortable with her.

The wait for the drinks doesn't take that long and soon enough you two are on your way to the clothing store. You admired everywhere around and swore to yourself to go out more often. You hadn't realized all the cool stuff you had been missing by just focusing on furthering your career. You were pretty amazed at how the store you were visiting occupied two whole floors, with another giant store on top of it as well.

You and Mina were separate in the store since you two were looking for different things. You were looking for a new pair of bottoms while she looked for accessories on the floor below. You mindlessly sifted through the clothes on the racks not sure what you were looking for specifically. Periodically you'd look out the window and admire the view outside, the day's sky shifting to a more dreamy sunset tone. The music you couldn't recognize softly played in the background, but the ambiance of the 2000-early 2010s feel certainly encapsulated the store.

You find yourself humming softly to the tunes though, a bit shocked that you could understand some of it. Some songs and artists you could recognize while some seemed to be either Japanese or from a different place entirely. As you paid half attention to the clothes while the other half tried listening to the music, the next artist that comes in makes you stop. You're unmoving in your spot and look around as you listen closely, a smile spreading across your lips as the tune properly makes its way to your ears.

It was a song from J. Cole and shockingly enough it was uncensored too. You lightly laugh to yourself as they tend to do this, playing foreign songs with the cuss words on full blast without a care in the world. You couldn't quite place your finger on which song it was though and it seemed as though the song was about to finish anyways.

Soon enough you can find a pair of pants that would suit the outfit and idea you had in mind have half a mind to try it on. You find your way through the options as the song unfolds, looking at the different clothes on your way to the dressing rooms. You softly hum along to the song although making sure not to be too loud. Lord knows you already stick out like a sore thumb, but god, you did love a good J. Cole song.

As the unnamed song comes to a finish, you are on your way to find the dressing rooms. A courteous attendant asks normal customer service questions before leaving you to be in your presence. It's not long before the next song plays and it so happens to be another J. Cole song, except you knew this song very well.

You breathe out a laugh as the intro starts to play and you have to keep your excitement in. You could hear the song much clearer in this section as it was more closed in than the rest of the other area. Despite the music being clearer now, the faint chatter around did indicate you were not alone, and many people liked this store as well.

'note to self: find the furthest stall to avoid any confrontation with anyone else.' You thought to yourself and continued your venture to the furthest spot.

By the time you had made it to the back, it seemed like there was one last stall at the end of the hall. At first glance, it seemed as though it was empty, but as you grew close, you noticed the door was ajar. You had half a mind to barge in but what you saw in the changing room made you freeze.

A familiar tuff of blonde hair and a toned figure dawning in a dark green tank that complimented his tan skin caught your eye. Your gaze followed the chain that adorned his masculine neck, his strong shoulders were next to fall into view, and his well-defined back that his shirt that perfectly molded to his skin was last. You could see he was hunched over in a position that didn't seem as though he was trying something on, but still moving nonetheless. A soft gasp that's immediately hushed makes you look up and your eyes widen. The sound was way too feminine, and it certainly was not from you. Another noise makes you squint, trying to see what was going on.

"Stop teasing me," She whispers to him and that's when you finally realize what the hell was going on.

Before you could turn around a pair of eyes makes contact with yours through the reflection of the mirror and you suck in a quiet breath at the fact now you have been caught. The reflection of his deep scarlet eyes showed no direct emotion and you couldn't read what he was feeling, much less thinking. His movements continued without faltering though and another soft sound of encouragement followed his actions. One thing was clear and there was no mistaking it: you could see him and Bakugo could see you. You know that you should leave. However, now you are dangerously curious and confused. The worst part is that you were frozen in shock.

Prettily manicured fingers lightly glide over his shoulders and trace his tanned skin before finding its way to lose itself in his hair. You could hear her question what he was looking at before guiding him to pay his full attention to her once again. It's when he breaks eye contact you can finally break out of your trance.

It was at that moment that the song over speakers reached your ears again and the irony that hangs through the air is almost laughable. No longer wanting any part in listening or seeing this go down, you swiftly turn around and walk away pretending nothing happened in the hope to find the furthest stall away from him.

When you find a stall you immediately close the door and throw the store's clothes onto the side. You rub your temples and close your eyes, another sigh leaving your lips for the millionth time today. Much to your dismay, closing your eyes didn't ease the impending headache that was about to hit, nor did it halt the memory of what you just witnessed. Your mind only brought the visualization of what you just saw to the forefront. You purse your lips as it didn't help that her voice accompanied the memory.

'it started off real innocent my ass.' You thought to yourself as that part of the song over the speakers made its way to your ears. When you open your eyes you're met with your reflection in two mirrors and have no other choice but to look at yourself. You felt like you were going crazy and rightfully so! You weren't innocent yourself, no, but have some damn grace. To be so careless like that, you're starting to realize that the coworker you thought you had a general idea of is way off.

But what did this make you? You stood there and watched them. Not for long, but long enough. Long enough that he saw you. Bakugo knew you were standing there and didn't do anything about it. At first, you thought that his expression was unreadable, but the more you thought about it, you had completely missed the challenging look in his eyes.

The piercing look of instigation with a hint of his curiosity. It was as if it was a look of provocation. As if… beckoning you to try something. Or are you desperately trying to justify why you watched two people doing lewd acts to each other while you just stood there in shock? One of them being your partner in fighting against crime.

You harshly scoff and turn around to avoid looking at yourself to hopefully put off letting it run through your head any longer. You start to strip your clothes off and face the door as you get undressed. As your mind starts to clear, you hear the song playing over the speakers and can't help but humorlessly laugh at the fact the song was about to finish. It had only been what? Almost four minutes and this whole thing had you in shambles. It would've been easier to handle if you didn't have to see him so soon—as in literally a couple of hours—but nope, your dumbass decided to go out today. To, "network". To have fun.

After finishing your haul you have long forgotten any songs playing over the speaker and now you just wanted to leave this store without encountering those two ever again, actually. Unfortunately, never seeing them again isn't an option, and making sure not to cross paths with them for now will be quite the challenge.

You slam the door open and accidentally startle the other shoppers due to your outburst. While apologizing profusely you hear a familiar voice call out to you, a wave of relief hitting over you once you realize it's Mina.

"Ready to check out?" Mina asks, completely unaware of what just happened. You wordlessly nod your head as you follow behind her, ready to get out of this place as fast as possible.

                     — ✮ ★ ☆ —

The club's music did not disappoint. Admittedly, you have been to a few clubs here and there that completely sucked. Like… really bad. The clubbing scene is totally different and it was clear that the culture here was adversely opposite of what you were used to. Not to say that every club you went to back in H/T was spectacular, but you could at least anticipate people having a ball and throwing ass. Consequently, you were pleasantly surprised by the one you were invited to since you chalked it up to cultural differences. However, it may have just been that you needed to find places that worked for you.

As aforementioned, you and Mina did end up arriving late but it seemed as though many of the other people in your party were milling about and having fun anyways to pay attention to that fact. You met a few others that your manager had briefly mentioned and had the pleasure to meet.

The first was Momo, a hero that had lots of prestige and was very kind. She often modeled but did other charity work as well. She had offered to put in a good word for you as she deeply admired your beauty. The next was another woman, Hagakure. You had heard about her before, and somehow her outgoing presence and energy rivaled Mina's. The downside though you knew to keep your distance since she seemed a lot more.. chaotic which is why you had already known about her prior.

Then there were the other guys there. Denki who was practically Mina's partner in crime, and another one whose name is Sero. He was pretty chill, not going to lie pretty cute too. He had a level of nonchalant charm that had you intrigued. The top hero of the country who everyone knew and loved was also rumored to make an appearance, but Sero advised you not to hold your breath. It was a whole workaround just to get the top three heroes in a public setting like this even when they could find refuge in the V.I.P section such as this one. It was a miracle that the second top hero—Dynamight A.K.A Bakugo Katsuki—was in attendance that night as well. Women and even men were always trying to find opportunities to throw themselves onto their desired hero, hoping that they'll be, "the one". The thought always made you laugh at the insanity of it all. Throughout the interaction, you did find yourself swayed to chat it up with him. He seemed sweet and Sero was honestly a calm breath of fresh air compared to the vibrant personalities that you have met so far. Even with how well you two were kicking it off, it did feel like something was looming around. Almost as if someone was watching you.

You assumed that you'd be safe on the terrace as there were a handful of people out there too. When you looked around you couldn't see anyone, and it seemed as though everyone was doing their own thing and partying. You're not sure how but at a certain point you two had gotten closer in distance, thighs touching and personal space becoming slim. You'd lean into his ear so he could "hear you better", his calloused hand resting on your knee that touched his and you had to admit that you didn't want it to stop. The small amount of liquid courage was making this easier for you. The alcohol gave you a level of confidence that made your words have a lighthearted cadence to them, much more fluid than when you are sober and worrying if your vocabulary is fluent and with the trends.

"D'you wanna dance?" Sero proposed. There was a playful grin on your face and you were more than welcome to oblige.

"I'd love to."

Both of your bodies are close and you can feel his strong hands on your hips. There is no space in between and there was no mistaking that you could feel his,,, friend down there. But you welcomed it. You even pulled his arms closer and ground against him. It had been a while since you have danced like this and he was cute enough for you to let this continue.

While feeling the rhythm (and his obvious boner and shifty hands) you catch the attention of someone you weren't expecting. You're too into feeling the motions of your environment to properly be stunned but it was no mistake that it was the same guy you vowed to avoid until further notice, Bakugo. You two never break eye contact as you tilted your head to the side, the horny male behind you taking it as a sign to kiss your neck. Your brows scrunch in pleasure as his lips are undoubtedly skilled, his teeth teasing your skin numerous times but not deep enough to leave any marks. Your hands find their way to tangle in his hair, egging him on to continue.

Bakugo's eyes are intense just like you had witnessed in the changing room. It seemed as though he had no plans on breaking eye contact with you and it scared you in a way that he was unwavering. While you cowered coming across him and his presumed girlfriend, he openly stared at you. Another challenging look with confidence oozing from him. Just when a hand starts to wander a little south on your body, he starts to move towards you and now you're starting to get anxious.

Breaking eye contact, you're quick to turn around in Sero's hold, an apologetic expression on your face.

"Too much?" Sero asks, his hand coming up to wipe a strand of hair from your face and you shake your head.

"I have to run to the restroom real quick, okay?" You squeeze his hand before leaving and take a few steps before actively making your way in the opposite direction in which Bakugo was going.

Your eyes search desperately for the bathrooms and much to your relief signs were pointing in that direction. Despite all of the dancing bodies and other people trying to make it around as well, you can find refuge and go into the restroom. You immediately walk up to the sink on the furthest side of the room and place your hands on the ledge of the sink. A deep sigh comes from you as you try to calm yourself down knowing that you were starting to get too cocky outside.

What the hell even was that?

You have had your fair share of rendezvous' and sneaking around, but never have you made eyes at someone's boyfriend or whatever the fuck he was to her. Everything about today was going way too fast, and you were sure you were going to need another drink.

You turn on the water and grab a paper towel to wet, applying the wet paper to clean off your face and skin. You were right about one thing though: Sero was pretty skilled and you wondered how he was able to contain himself and not mark your skin. Had it been any other bumbling idiot, you would've had to be covering up your neck and shoulders with makeup for a good few days or so.

You bend down to catch the water instead, fully committing to the idea that you'll reapply your makeup, if any, before leaving the bathroom to get yourself together. As you try to sober yourself up you hear the door open and close behind you and pay it no mind. The running water of the sink distracts you for a hot minute before it hits you that there was no movement at all after the door had initially opened. You turn off the water and turn around, a sharp gasp coming from you as you fully take in who's at the door.

"Having fun?" Bakugo asks in a tone you've never heard before. It was deeper, a light husk to it rather than his regular monotonous or rambunctious tone. He steps closer and you back up, trying to create more space between you. He scoffs at the action, stepping forward again and watching as you have nowhere else to go. You have no other choice but to watch him slowly make his way up to you, and you aren't sure what to expect.

"Bakugo," You start but fail to continue. What do you even say to him, how do you even start? Your mouth opens and closes as you try to collect yourself making him chuckle.

"Keep going and you might turn into a fish."

His mockery successfully makes you close your mouth and glare at him. Bakugo's calloused hand reaches out and softly touches your neck, tracing where Sero's lips once were. His thumb lightly traces your skin, a low hum in approval at how his work is pretty much unnoticeable.

"You shouldn't be in here." Your voice is low and timid. He grins at your words and places his hands on your hips, pushing you to sit back on the counter behind you. You curse yourself for choosing the last sink in the corner and you curse yourself for responding so easily to his touch. "And we shouldn't be like this either." You try to reason more with yourself more than anything.

He scoffs out a laugh and leans in close to your ear, lips brushing against your skin. "Why not? It's just us."

"But that… girl?" You lightly pull away from him and place your hands behind you to support yourself. His face shows confusion for a split second when he merely pulls inches away from you.

"Camie?" Bakugo's cocky demeanor returns as he slides his hands from your hips to your thighs, parting them enough to fit himself between them. "So it really was you at the store, eh? Didn't know my partner was such a pervert."

The nerve. He was the one who left the door ajar. If anything, you should be calling him the pervert.

"I-I wasn't trying to, you left the door open." You counter back, eyes narrowing in response. He lightly shrugs before moving in to kiss the opposite side of your neck Sero left untouched and places an open kiss on your skin.

"Must've forgot."

A humorless laugh comes from you in reaction to his answer, a soft gasp following in its footsteps. His teeth sink into your skin and you are sure that, unlike your first pick for the night, Bakugo definitely left a mark. You softly whimper as he places his right hand on your waist to press your body closer to his. Your back arches into his and you move your head to welcome his rough kisses, the stimulation undoubtedly reawakening the lust you had on the dance floor. His hand on your hip grips your thigh and slips its way to the middle of your legs, wasting no time pressing the pads of his fingers against your heat.

You moan at the pressure and hurriedly press your lips together in embarrassment. Your eyes are closed to avoid making eye contact with him as you already know he was gearing up to tease you.

"Shit, when was the last time you got fucked, princess?" Bakugo grips your cheeks and forces you to open your eyes. There's no way he expects you to answer with his grip, and you're sure he's not expecting it anyways. "Soy sauce face ain't do it for ya'?"

You look up at him with a dazed and confused look, the look in your eyes making him groan. The nicknames he picked were certainly unique, and you can't quite pinpoint why he coined Sero that; much less what their connection to each other is. He was under the assumption that like him you were actively 'busy' in your free time. You certainly weren't if that wasn't evident with how receptive you are to his touch.

"I'll get you all fixed up, baby," Bakugo leans in close to your lips, "make you forget all about that dunce's face." He finishes the declaration with a kiss, his grip softening on your cheeks and then moving to your neck.

The kiss, albeit sloppy, intoxicated you. His lumps were plump and soft, a hard contrast to his strong and calloused hands that held your thigh and waist. His tongue brushes against your lower lip asking for an entrance and you gladly allow him entrance. You moan as his tongue dominates your mouth, his wet muscle caresses yours with passion.

Your hands now gripped onto his strong shoulders like that other girl once did. You can't help but think about her, your thoughts starting to cloud about the two of them. You pull away as you start to feel guilty, a string of saliva connecting you two as you part.

"What's wrong?" Bakugo wipes the string of saliva away, a soft pant to his words as he collects himself.

"I just can't, Bakugo. You have a girlfriend."

"She's not my girl, not like that," Bakugo reassures, his thumb pressing against your lip before moving his finger to press various pecks against your lips. "I ain't never did this before, but I've had my eye on you for a while." The confession shamefully made you blush. You had always thought he was attractive but never thought deeper about it. Even a few days ago from the WIRED interview you never made the move to ask or even care about getting to know him. But here you were, sitting on a random club's sink with him between your luscious thighs.

Your cumbersome thoughts start to lose their way as he leans in to kiss you again, your worries washing away when his soft lips find yours. His kiss is overwhelmingly commanding and you love it. You were used to guys taking a more passive approach with you and the lack of control his kiss held undoubtedly made you more responsive to him. Even with that distinction from before, the kiss now is more controlled this time and his composure shows he meant business now. His tongue works smoothly against yours and doesn't shy away from wrestling with yours. You were so enraptured by the kiss you hadn't noticed his left hand had slipped into the front of your bottoms, the feeling of his fingers pressing against your clothed cunt making you buck into his hand.

You whimper as he continues his stroking, your hands never letting up their hold on his strong shoulders. His fingers welcome your grinding and he pulls away from the kiss to look down at the spot between your hips and watches in interest.

"Bakugo—"

"Katsuki," Bakugo corrects you and tilts your chin down to maintain eye contact with you once again.

You bite your lip and your eyes flutter closed once he presses his fingers against your clit eliciting a breathier moan from you.

"Say it and I'll put them in, Y/N." He lets his fingers slip down to collect your slick, the tips of his fingers lightly pressing at your entrance before tracking back up to play with your clit again.

"K-Kat," Your jaw locks up at his diddling, a frustrated pout adorning your features as you try to keep up with him. "I—thought you said you haven't done this before, hm?"

He lightly laughs at your accusation, softly shaking his head at your confusion. "Messin' around like this, princess." His eyes flicker down at your movements and softly groans.

"So it's not about me being a foreigner?"

"That too," The question gets a genuine laugh from him, his brow raising in amusement as he slips in a finger whilst he answers. "used to stealing other people's girl's, not the other way around."

"Shit!" Your fingers grip his tank top and you bring him in for another kiss. His experience is clear in the way he maintains his rhythm in both his kiss and fingering your sopping cunt. Bakugo slips in another finger when you start to lubricate more, a lewd squelch welcoming in his digits.

He curls his fingers to find your soft g-spot, his touch delicate but rough at the same time. You were a vocal one for sure and he loved it. When he presses his palm against your once abandoned clit, your sounds let him know how much you appreciated the attention again. You two break the kiss when you both need time to breathe, lips still very much pressed against one another as you two take each other in.

"Katsuki, fuck-"

"You're close aren't you, pretty girl?" He hums and you nod your head in confirmation. He barely reacts when your nails press into his skin, his eyes scanning the way your body reacts to his movements and how unabashedly expressive you were. So many other women were always focused on how pretty they looked and wanted to be prettier and more memorable than the last the young man encountered. You seemed so natural and into it and he greatly admired it. His crush that he has developed on you for some time now was growing for sure and it was all by chance that it was panning out like this. At this point he didn't care if you were using him to get your rocks off, he wanted to see you like this more often.

With bliss written across your face, your orgasm washes over you in an artful visual. Bakugo had grown to love all your expressions and this one by far might be his favorite. Your brows were scrunched as you released, eyes closed and your mouth shaped like an "O". When you opened back up your eyes to look at him, he knew what you were asking for. Bakugo softly sweet-talks you as you come down, his fingers slowing to a stop before pulling from your pants to lick his fingers.

You're a mess, a light pant to your breath as you watch him lick up your essence from his digits. You move to palm his hard-on, but his other hand immediately stops you.

"Fuck me, Katsuki." You mumbled against his lips, the look in your eyes showing nothing but a lustful plea.

"Not yet, princess," Bakugo answers back in the same manner, his lips brushing against yours as a way to tease before pulling away. "Can't spoil you too much now, can I?" He gives you a look over and scoffs at your dumbfounded seemingly fucked out state.

You call out his name as he washes up and leaves you behind in the bathroom.

You sit on the counter and stare at the door in shock. Your body felt like it was on fire. Your panties were now soaked and to add fuel to the fire you were left horny as fuck.

You slump against the corner and roll your eyes in exasperation. You no longer wanted to go back out and the pull to get another drink quickly died once you found yourself getting drunk on lust from what just occurred. You press your thighs together and groan at how Bakugo successfully blue-balled you both. You knew he was hard as fuck too the way his dick pressed against your thigh confirmed it.

You tilt your head to the side to observe yourself and have to admit you look a hot mess. Your eyes are half-lidded, you weren't sure how but your hair was a mess and now your once clear neck is now adorned in marks from Bakugo's rough kisses. You look away from the mirror and begrudgingly hop off the counter, the need to go home and take a shower finally reaching its way to your nervous system.

You

hey girlie, I'm heading out for the night. thanks for hanging out with me! 🫶🏽

[->] Sent 1:24 A.M.

You make sure to text Mina to avoid any miscommunication of you randomly disappearing during the night. You took your time to gather yourself not wanting to leave until you were ready. Once you leave the bathroom, you make a beeline towards the terrace needing to grab your things before having to leave in a cab for home.

"Leaving already?" A male's voice behind you makes you turn around.

"Ah, Sero," You smile apologetically as you properly face him. "I just… I'm not feeling well all of a sudden…" It was a shit lie and you knew it. You couldn't think of a better excuse but it wasn't a complete lie either. After your encounter with Bakugo, you needed to spend the night preferably alone.

Sero nods his head and gives you a warm smile. "I get it. Could I uh… get your phone maybe? Only if you're comfortable."

"Oh!" You light up and nod your head. "Yeah, of course."

After searching his pockets, Sero pulls out his phone and hands it to you. You quickly type in your number right before getting the notification on your own device that your ride is ready.

"It was nice meeting you, Sero." You lean up to kiss him on the cheek, leaving not too long after. It was a bit hard moving through the crowd but you were able to leave, and hopefully, you would be able to go home without any trouble tonight.

But what you didn't know was some people were paying attention and saw that whole exchange.

Quite a few, actually.

    all rights reserved © do NOT steal, alter or copy this work.

[basu-shokikita]

Kloktober 2023 Day 8

Mermaids or Monsters

Today's entry is inspired by an underwater scene I watched recently, so, yes, I chose mermaids. With Toki's imagination track, I think mermaids makes more sense also.

Slight but not so slight Skwistok for this, however it's more than everything about Toki because I love him.

If you recognize the scene this is based on you get a gold star. ;)

Toki couldn’t remember when it had started. Only that he was sinking, deeper and deeper. At first, he had actually tried to swim back to the surface. But the lower he descended, the less likely it seemed that he would be able to free himself. Eventually, he had accepted his destiny and watched the murky waters grow only darker in shade, his body trapped in an infinite fall.

He used to be scared of the dark, of loneliness, of being cold. He couldn’t say he liked it now, however there was something almost welcoming about it. Something familiar. After all, wasn’t this how he had lived his entire life? Witnessing brief glimpses of light, but mostly being submerged, like he was right now. Maybe he had been running away from his nature this whole time. 

Maybe he belonged there and he had been a fool to pretend otherwise.

The flame inside him that wanted to fight back had almost entirely gone out. And it didn’t hurt. He didn’t feel frustrated about it anymore. He didn’t feel like crying about it anymore. 

Not like tears could be seen in the water anyway.

Toki closed his eyes, bracing himself for the end. He could feel it, his fingertips were freezing and his legs were starting to go numb on him. He could barely tell the difference from when his eyes were closed or open. It was all pitch black by now. 

With the spare time he had left, he tried remembering any happy memories he had from his life, any nostalgic-inducing moment that he could cling to until it all ended. Something he could look back on fondly and not feel like his existence had been a waste. 

Yet, in another play of destiny, he didn’t have recollection of anything worth even a smile. Because the light had always been on the next day. But there wasn’t going to be one anymore, so it was all dark. Like turning off the light switch in a room. Toki had persisted for things to get better tomorrow. He had always hoped. Where was he supposed to look at now that he couldn’t see anything?

He felt his face scrunge with frustration and cursed at himself for not having enough. He had done everything he could. Now it was time to let go. It was time to rest. 

He let out what seemed like an infinite sigh and he knew. It was close.

It was here. 

Suddenly, a ray of light pierced his eyelids. He opened his eyes and he blinked several times, in disbelief of what he saw.

A halo of light falling on him, growing in girth by the second, as if it were coming for him. And someone…was it a person? No, it had a fishtail…and a human’s body? A mermaid? 

The mermaid traveled with the light towards Toki, who could only watch in confusion as the silhouette turned more defined the closer it got. When he recognized the face, an involuntary bubble burst out of his mouth.

That wavy blond hair, sharp cheekbones and hypnotizing blue eyes…Skwisgaar.

Just the name sounded faraway in his mind. When was the last time he thought of it, let alone said it outloud? When was the last time he saw Skwisgaar besides his own replayed memories?

Skwisgaar stood still in front of him and his stare wasn’t disdainful for once, though it wasn’t a joyful one either. It was like he was observing. Like he was truly seeing him for the first time. 

And Toki…well, he was mesmerized. It’s like Skwisgaar had been born to be a merman. Yellow highlights in his otherwise all-blue gaze, golden mane sparkling like it was made of stars, his iridescent blue fishtail waving and maintaining him in perfect, majestic balance, skin glowing like a diamond. And his face…well it had always been beautiful, but for once Toki didn’t have to look away out of fear of being caught staring too hard.

Maybe Skwisgaar had responded to the call of Toki’s brain for a good memory and now he could die watching him. That wasn’t so bad, he thought with a smile. 

But then, Skwisgaar stretched his arm towards him, his hand opening. Confused, Toki looked at his own palm before slowly raising his eyes to meet Skwisgaar’s. 

Insistently, Skwisgaar extended his hand, his lips uttering something Toki couldn’t hear. Still not quite sure of what was going on, Toki offered his hand back.

Their fingers brushed and Toki was struck by a string of memories. 

During one of the practices after he joined the band, Skwisgaar smiled at him and reached to fix the position of Toki’s fingers. When Toki opened up about his childhood to him, the first time he got really hammered. That night Skwisgaar invited him to his room and played for him and only him for hours. Getting arrested together for vandalizing the wall of some politician’s mansion. Skwisgaar falling asleep against Toki’s shoulder while they were watching Sátántangó. When Toki beat him at checkers but Skwisgaar refused to accept it, demanding a rematch. 

Lastly, Skwisgaar bandaging his fingers after Toki suffered a minor accident in the kitchen. Nobody had ever done that for him before, not even his mom. He had brought Toki’s hand to his eye-level and asked him to move his fingers to check everything was alright. He could’ve sworn that Skwisgaar’s touch lingered on his palm before it went away and Toki almost immediately missed its warmth.

Awakened, Toki glanced at his surroundings and saw the others approaching, too. Nathan, Murderface and Pickles, also in merman form, joined Skwisgaar and extended their hands to Toki. They all smiled at him gently, urging him to join them. 

And he wanted to.

Abruptly, a burst of light came from below and he gazed in its direction. It was his own legs lighting up, sparkling, until Toki couldn’t tell them apart anymore because they were one big glowing thing. He wasn’t scared, though, he was enthralled by it.

Slowly, the light started fading out, revealing a light-blue fishtail in place of his legs. Toki gasped and looked at his friends with expectation. They nodded at him and his fishtail waved with the same excitement inside his chest.

They began swimming upwards and he followed them, towards the light. As they swam, the water began changing its colors in an infinite technicolor whirl. He smiled, feeling life flow through him just like the colors in the ocean.

He was home.

[bonesandthebees]

hey. it’s been a while :) not sure if you remember me but i just wanted to pop by and say that i will forever cherish your writing. your fics gave me a lot of comfort through a very dark time of mine, and reading about the silly fictional brothers made me feel a lot more excited and joyful in a world where i felt very lonely.

whenever i would read your stories, i couldn’t contain my very very dramatically fun reactions that i would say out loud to myself in my room (jumping up and down, screaming, crying, gasping, monologuing to myself, etc). i read so many different AUs and oneshots of yours and i couldn’t get enough! your work is so wonderful and i am AMAZED and how you can create such high-quality writing in a surprisingly short timeframe.

i loved clinic so much that i entered a 30 hour state of hyperfocus where i COULD. NOT. put it down. ruined my sleep schedule but it was so worth it!! and then i read it all again 2 days later. and then i read it AGAIN out loud to my friend over discord so he could enjoy it too :) i recommended world forgetting to a friend and it destroyed her (/pos). i kept recommending all of my friends your fics because they were all so wonderfully entertaining and had a level of quality that was hard to find elsewhere.

i loved clinic, world forgetting, stars, 17 hours, the vampire au, the mermaid au, and starman (?) (the horror one with the giant eye) and i’m sure there’s plenty more that are slipping my mind.

i’m currently in a place where i cannot decide if i’m even able to separate a content creator from his character. even the characters have been soured for me and it’ll be very tough to separate them. i hope i can, because they brought me so much joy in the past, and so did your writing :)

over the past year and a half or so i’ve been so lucky to be blessed with an absolutely wonderful girlfriend that i love very much, and i feel a lot less lonely and a lot more lighter. i’m more active in the real world and i’m doing more things that i love. because of this i’ve distanced from dsmp and unfortunately haven’t had enough time to fully understand qsmp (which is a shame because i love quackity and have been watching him quite literally since 2013 and he is very dear to me). but!! i still rant and rave about your stories to my girlfriend and i even got her to read clinic :)

ANYWAY… very long ramble hahah but all of this is to say that your work was very important in my life and even if i’m going to distance myself from this fandom, i will always love and cherish your writing!!! thank you for your labor of love and i won’t be forgetting about you anytime soon!!

i hope you’re doing well. take care of yourself!! have your favorite cookie!! sending hugs! <3

and ps, the scene where siren has his identity revealed is still one of my fav scenes in writing EVER and i still think about how beautifully tragic it was <3 i think about it a lot. u made me cry for like 45 minutes how dare youuuuuu hahah

I hope you know before I even read this ask I saw the url and immediately went "oh my god lostmellohi it's been so long I've missed them!!!" so, don't worry, I remember you very well and I'm so happy to see you here again!

it makes me so happy to hear how much you've enjoyed my writing over the years. hearing stuff like that only makes me more confident in my decision to not take down any of my stuff regardless of recent events. I never want to take away something of mine that has given you and others that much joy. these stories are mine first and foremost, but as readers they're yours too. they've given you so much enjoyment over the years and that can never be taken away from you.

I totally understand what you mean about being unsure if you'll be able to separate the cc and the character in the future. it's not an easy thing and right now I get the urge to wince every time I read wilbur's name, even if it's in the context of c!wilbur and/or a fic. I believe it'll get easier for all of us with time, so don't worry about it too much right now. it's only been a week since shelby's stream happened. feelings will settle.

congrats on the girlfriend!! I hope she enjoyed clinic lol. I'm so happy you've been doing better though and have been able to do more things that you love. enjoy that kind of stuff whenever you can. qsmp isn't going anywhere and you'll always be able to catch up whenever you have time.

thank you for this it genuinely made me so happy to read. wishing you the best for things in the future and I hope you take care of yourself <33

also, yeah, whenever I think back on the siren identity reveal I'm like damn I did pull that off really well huh. lmao so glad you enjoyed :)

[doesnotloveyou]

Don Johnson Filmography - Free Links!

Instead of you spending countless joyful hours trawling the web for grainy old '70s flicks, I did it for you! Here's a list of FREE places to watch DJ's stuff.

This list will be in reverse chronological order as they appear on IMDb. Some are just placeholders until (if) better links can be found, and some are bootlegs from other countries. I'm excluding music videos since those aren't hard to find.

And if you want to skip boring/annoying plot but don't want to miss him, I've made a key:

MC (main character) - much of the story involves his character and he is onscreen often

SC (side character) - only part of the story involves his character, so he's onscreen far less often than other characters

C (cameo) - he's got one or two scenes and they're small, in which case I'll mark his appearances in 0:00:00 format

I'm leaving most content warnings to viewer discretion, but some I don't feel comfortable ignoring. Also, some of the YouTube vids may get taken down at any moment :( If you like something, back it up! I'm using KMPlayer to download my faves, but I've heard you can also use VLC.

>> Links below cut! <<

First, check out my list from Tubi which has the most high quality versions of his work and TV appearances. If it's on Tubi, it won't be on this post!

Home Movie: The Princess Bride - (C, 0:41:30) the entire film is hilarious, especially if you've seen the original; made by a bunch of celebs during quarantine.

Knives Out - (SC) ok, there's no link, but i'm begging you to go buy this movie on DVD it's like $5-$10 tops in stores these days.

Moondance Alexander - (SC, 0:18:20)

Just Legal - (MC, eight episodes)

Word of Honor - (MC) this vid has "helium" audio and other insufferable flaws.

Goodbye Lover - (SC, login req)

In Pursuit of Honor - (MC) WARNING: animal death/abuse

G.I. Joe: The Movie - (SC, voice only, 0:30:35...) spare yourself, skip this movie that he probably did for his kid.

Tales of the Unexpected - (SC; one episode)

Matt Houston - (SC; one episode)

Melanie - (SC)

Soggy Bottom, U.S.A. - (SC; German dub) clips of his character.

Elvis and the Beauty Queen - (MC; Portuguese subtitles)

Revenge of the Stepford Wives - (SC, 0:12:40, 0:25:15...) he has multiple scenes including one at the end, but these movies stress me out.

Beulah Land - (SC) only in part 1, but his character is replaced by a young Jonathan Frakes in part 2. WARNING: non-graphic rape

From Here to Eternity - (C, one episode, 0:07:10, 0:36:00)

The Rebels (MC, two-parts)

Amateur Night at the Dixie Bar and Grill - (SC, 0:13:39...)

First, You Cry - (SC, first scene, 0:24:20, 0:44:20, 0:57:07, 1:15:38, 1:32:16)

Katie: Portrait of a Centerfold - (C, 0:19:48, 0:32:19, 0:44:03...) can't stomach this film to find the rest of his scenes, he's a very minor character.

The American Girls - he's not in this! the main male character is played by the lovely Charles Haid from Hillstreet Blues, but it isn't listed on Haid's IMDb. Also, the character he plays does not go by the name DJ is listed under for that episode, so maybe DJ's in a different one? Regardless, I only found two episodes and DJ is in neither.

Ski Lift to Death - (SC) he shows up in the second video...don't make me watch this.

What Really Happened to the Class of '65? - TV spot w/ the only footage of him that I can find.

Cover Girls - (SC, 0:27:21, 0:40:40, 01:01:15...)

The City - (MC) costarring Mark Hamil

Barnaby Jones - (SC, one episode) I watched this and now it's missing...it sucked anyway. DJ plays an amateur arms dealer with a sickly son, a wife in jail, and a hideous mustache. He loses.

The Streets of San Francisco - (SC, one episode)

Law of the Land - (MC)

Return to Macon County - (MC) login to YT req but there is also a Spanish dub that doesn't req login. costarring Nick Nolte

A Boy and His Dog - (MC) this version has the nude scenes edited out, sign in to YT for the full cut; much higher quality than Tubi. WARNING: rape, etc.

The Rookies - (SC, one episode) costarring Nick Nolte

Kung Fu - making an executive decision here uhhh skip this one

The Harrad Experiment - (MC; two-parter w/ odd in-video ads that you can easily fast forward) WARNING: they all get naked

The Bold Ones: The New Doctors - (MC, one episode)

Lollipops, Roses and Talangka - (SC; some scenes in Tagalog) can't find the 1975 sequel or much information on English sites, but one Filipino fanblog implies the film may no longer exist.

Zachariah (MC)

Endlessly impressed by how much has been preserved and curated over the years. Even if a ton of it was junk, it's nice to save people's hard work and memories :)

........................................................................................................................

[kaxzuha]

KEVIN X MALE!READER (pt.2)

Skateboarding

˖◛⁺⑅♡

˖◛⁺⑅♡

THE NEXT DAY Kevin was hopping that

Y/n won't appear again like yesterday, he wanted to go home and not deal with energetic people like him.

But unfortunately his hopes where scattered when a familiar boy enters the store with bunch of bruises and bandages on his face and arm.

"Hello again!!" Y/n smiles happily and walks inside the candy store.

"Oh god ... not you again" Kevin annoyingly says "what do you want again?"

"Can't I spend time with my best buddy in the world??" The (h/c) boy playfully finger gunned Kevin.

"We literally just met yesterday, and we aren't even friends" the cashier groans as he prays in his head for y/n to go away.

Kevin watches as y/n walks closer to the counter and pulls out card from his pocket.

"Check this out , I got a golden card for being the best skater in the world"

the energetic boy says as he hands Kevin a badly colored and written card , the paper card was colored in dark yellow and the black ink looked like a 3 year old wrote it.

"Wow is this real?" Kevin asks sarcastically and takes the paper card from y/n's bandaged hands "so I am guessing that all those bruises are from skateboarding?"

"Something like that" he chuckles awkwardly and takes back his card from Kevin's hands and puts it back in his pocket.

"Right ... whatever , anyways are you here to buy something or just waste my time"

The clerk guy asks while being bothered by y/n's chatting , he just wanted to go home and never wake up.

"Yeah um ... can I have yesterdays candy ? Those where amazing!!" Y/n cheerfully says "I want the stars one this time"

Kevin rolls his eyes and takes out a bag of sour candies that was shaped as stars and hands it to y/n.

"Aw thanks , anyways I wanted to invite you tomorrow to watch me skate in a very dangerous park" the joyful (h/c) boy offers with a beam.

"What? I am not going to attend it , that's stupid" Kevin cries in irritation "let me remind you that we aren't friends!!"

"Yay!! Thank you Kevin , I'll give you my phone number and send you the location" y/n cheers  happily and pulls out a paper that was written his phone number on it but before Kevin could complain y/n already ran out of the store , Kevin takes the paper and looks down at it with disgust.

"God please end my misery.... Wait ....HE DIDNT EVEN PAY FOR THE CANDIES!!"

[bella-caecilia]

8 + 15 (if they haven’t already been asked) for the Cobert Flufftober please! :)

set in s3e1 - I hope you like it <3

Day 11

8 + 15 – breathing in their sweet scent & tucking head into the crook of their neck when they’re hugging

It was the day of her eldest daughter’s wedding. Cora didn’t want to let it show but she was a giddy bundle of nerves. Her greatest job of being a mother was coming to an end again, after sweet Sybil already left the nest, choosing such a drastic path. Of course, Cora would always be their mother. This would never change. But she was letting go of the responsibility of looking over their well-being. She had to let go, and she didn’t want to admit but it wasn’t easy for her.

She was lucky that Mary wouldn’t leave for a faraway place as Sybil did. Actually, little would change with her still being around Downton with her prospect of becoming Countess of Grantham one day herself. But even so, Mary would be her own woman, more than she already was now. Cora had done her job. It felt strange.

Weddings always were strange. Beautiful of course – oh, how Cora adored the beauty in every wedding – but a strange occasion nevertheless in how existential and too fast to properly comprehend it was.

On the way to the church, it was Edith and Sybil who rode with Cora in the motor. Both, Mary and Robert, would have their special entrance of course. But Cora felt a little alone in all the excitement. She looked over to her two daughters and smiled at them eagerly. They returned her smile but didn’t seem as nervous as one could be on their sister’s wedding day. Cora quickly was reminded that it wasn’t as new for Sybil, and the thought stung her heart. She hadn’t been there when her youngest had married. She didn’t think there would ever come a time when she wouldn’t regret missing it. Robert’s stubbornness frustrated her immensely. And she wasn’t the kind of woman to dismiss her husband’s conclusion and go anyway. She always tried to repress thoughts about Sybil’s wedding because she feared she would come to the conclusion that maybe she wanted to be that woman. That something could have been done. That maybe it was her fault that her youngest daughter had been without her parents on her wedding day. No, Cora didn’t like to think that way. She swallowed the lump in her throat and returned to the present.

The crowd of guests at the church made her remember that Mary’s and Matthew’s wedding was one of the most joyful occurrences that could be imagined. It was what everyone had wished for and made for no reason at all for Cora to be melancholic today. She breathed deeply as they walked into the church and took their seats, trying to fill her lungs with the flowery air of celebration. She looked into all the elated faces. Her daughter was getting married to the love of her life. A smirk pulled at her lips. Her daughter was getting the epitome of what Cora had wished for her. A wide grin spread on her face. Oh, what a joyous day actually!

And from there, Cora’s mood changed from melancholy to overly sentimental affection. This day was an emotional affair and there was no way Cora could escape the avalanche of emotions. But as the mother of the bride, she was allowed to be this way; she was convinced of that.

It was after the knot was tied and all agitation of the anticipation had evaporated into simple buzzing joy and delight, that Cora found herself in a corner of the festivities with Robert by her side. She let out a shaky breath, releasing the air she had held in since walking into the church. From the corner of her eye, she saw how he turned his head to her. She tried to breathe evenly and stop the rising wall of water on her lower eyelids. But Robert seemed to have already noticed.

“Is everything alright?” he inquired quietly, only for her to hear.

She nodded quickly, praying to not spill any tears with the bobbing of her head. “It’s just…” she breathed through tight lips. “Can you believe this day?”

Robert sighed, and Cora could hear the smile in it. Both looked straight ahead into the room full of happy and laughing guests.

“No, I can’t believe it. But I’m so very happy.” The slight tremble in his voice showed Cora that she wasn’t the only one getting emotional on this day.

It was much later that day when the daytime visitors had left and everyone had waved the bridal couple goodbye as they left for their honeymoon when Cora felt they had done their duties well enough to properly turn to her husband and allow the emotions she knew would take over as soon as she looked deeply at him with his festive suit. They stood beside a pillar in the main hall by the grand staircase, he in his deep black suit and she in her lilac flowy ensemble. She pulled at his lapels to keep from getting overwhelmed by the intensity of feelings that hit her as an image of a youthful Robert on his own wedding day flashed before her eyes.

“Well, now that’s resolved,” she babbled.

“I hope it wasn’t too stressful for you,” Robert put in as he heard her sigh.

“Oh, no! That’s how a wedding ought to be.”

As he took hold of her hands that still clutched his lapels, Cora looked up at him again. The softness of his face provoked the urge in her to fall into his arms and hold his body close to hers. He didn’t always see it but they were very lucky. Lost money and rebellious children didn’t take away from the position of utter luck and privilege they were in. Cora was glad to see a hint of acknowledgement now mirrored in his eyes.

Robert probably saw the open feelings in her expression. Cora knew that when she felt them so dominantly, they always showed on her face. Once she allowed the feelings, they were painted on her raw. Robert squeezed her hands, and for a moment, Cora thought he would pull her in for a hug. But apparently, he remembered that things had their order.

“I feel like it is time to change and have a short rest. We just looked after everyone, and I am convinced our mothers are capable of entertaining themselves and everyone in their vicinity.”

Cora simpered. “Absolutely, my dear.”

He took her hand in his as they walked up the stairs. They didn’t say a word. Cora dragged her heavy legs up the steps. Her upper arm brushed against his, and she had to think how different this was from what her recollection held of her own wedding day. Today was what she preferred, nearly without a doubt.

The sound of padding steps behind them on the stairs made Cora turn her head. When she saw the cream Labrador, she smiled at Robert.

“Isis appears to have missed you today,” she said. Without turning around, a small grin rose on Robert’s face. Isis was by his side in the blink of an eye, and Cora looked around Robert to see his hand petting the dog’s head. As they reached the gallery, Robert let go of Cora’s hand and bend down to properly appreciate his dog. He scratched Isis behind the ears lovingly.

“Good girl. I’m taking you on a walk again tomorrow, hm? You’re such a patient girl.” Cora stood behind him with her hands interlaced in front of her abdomen. She looked at her husband and his dog with a smiling expression.

With a groan, he rose to stand again and patted Isis one last time. The dog wiggled its tail and looked after them as they went down the gallery.

They went to their respective rooms and got changed into something simpler. Cora felt a wave of relief wash over her when Robert walked into her room through the connecting door after some time. She sat at her vanity in a tea gown and sorted her jewellery, waiting for him in the hope she understood him right and he wanted to spend their short break together. As he entered her room, she stood and walked over to the small settee that was placed in the ample space of her room. They both sat down and Cora sank against his side. Robert put an arm around her as he blew a kiss on the crown of her head.

“I daresay this was the wedding of the century we threw today,” he said.

“It definitely felt like that.” She shuffled a little closer into his arms. “But you know what little a wedding day says about a marriage,” she commented. She said it without wanting to hear him answer.

He made an incomprehensible noise and seemed to digest her words. Cora buried her face in the crook of his neck as she looped her arms around his neck. She didn’t want to think; she wanted to feel. His skin was warm against her face. Her cheeks and lips brushed the soft skin of his neck, and the tightening of his arm around her indicated how affected he was by her touch against his sensitive spots.

His voice was very low, and Cora wasn’t sure she caught every word. “I would like to do it again, just that you have the right wedding day.”

“I never said it was wrong,” she mumbled into his neck. He shivered slightly in her arms as her breath hit his skin.

“Still…”

Cora inhaled deeply. His smell filled her nostrils and mind. The musk of his cologne, the faintest hint of his aftershave, and a tinge of the day’s sweat, all added to his very own scent that made her feel so at home.

As they sat in silence for a while, Cora’s thoughts wandered. She turned her face slightly to get more oxygen but didn’t move from his side. She thought about how her money – sums so high she could never properly picture them – had left them clandestinely, taking with it the awkward link that coupled them up but not a single ounce of their love. His hand brushed up and down her arm, and she murmured casually, “I wouldn’t mind downsizing if that meant having you closer.”

His hand seized for a moment as his mind tried to follow her train of thought. “Oh now stop that nonsense,” he grumbled in response. She pushed away from him and looked him in the eyes.

“I do like having you close, alright?” she made clear. Robert tipped his head to the side.

“Sure. I like that too,” he agreed.

Cora ran her fingertips down his arm. She had to think about Mary, being farther away from Downton with every passing minute. “You know, with all troubles and hindrances, I’m glad we could have such a wedding for Mary. A wedding that is right in every regard. It’s great she can be Countess someday but what relieves me most is that I know she’ll have a love-filled marriage. I tried to push that thought away when it looked like she would marry someone else but actually, that’s ultimately the one thing I wished for her.”

Robert nodded. “She is very lucky.” He smiled at Cora. “We are all lucky to have Matthew,” he added.

“I tried to give her the talk,” Cora mentioned.

“What do you mean?”

“Oh, you know, what to expect of the marital duties that come with being wed,” Cora tried to explain.

“Oh, I see!” Robert looked away.

“I think… I think I might have blown it a bit,” Cora pondered.

“What did you say?” he asked with slight shock. He looked at her and it was obvious that he was already afraid of what she would answer.

“Well, I said something along the lines of two people loving each other and how that makes everything they do the most terrific fun.”

“You said what?”

A hearty laugh rumbled in her throat. They both knew it was true and the only advice Cora could give on that matter.

[whtwclf]

@mieczlw s e n t : 📱

what ringtone my muse has set for yours :

hozier - ‘ shrike ’

❝ It is , among other things , an allegory for the way I love him ; which is as specific as I'd like to be about that - thanks. ❞

what   contact   photo   my   muse   has   set   for   yours :

❝  Look  at  him -  he’s   so   happy   when   eats - who  doesn’t  want  to   look  at   that   joyful  f a c e  ?  ❞

what   my   muse   thinks   of   the   way   yours   texts :

❝  I   like   puzzles   and   that’s   what   I   have   to   remind   myself   trying   to   piece   together   a   tangential   thought   he’s   having   about   why   ham   is   packaged   in   different   shapes   ,   and   then   out   loud   wondering   if   there   is   something   to   that   ,   asking   if   I   know   anything   about   what   I   can   only   assume   is   some   ham-based   conspiracy   he’s   worked   up   at   this   point   ,   and   it’s   like   all   I   asked   was   how   long   he   was   going   to   be   at   the   store.   So   I   guess   what   I   think   about   them   is   how   he   dodges   a   goddamn   question   better   than   anyone   I   have   ever   met   in   nearly   a   century   of   being   entrenched   in   espionage   -   where   the   fuck   was   Stiles   during   the   Cold   War  ?  ❞

how   quickly   my   muse   responds   to   your   texts :

❝  Sometime   it   takes   me   awhile   ,   because   you   know   ,   I   like   to   compose   my   guy   a   nice   letter.   I   understand   that   they’re   called   text   messages   ,   but   I   don’t   have   to   falter   in   my   composition   skills   because   the   youths   want   to   respond   with   a   string   of   doofus   ass   emojis.   Other   times   I   have   spent   so   long   composing   my   response   ,   I   sometimes   forget   that   I   never   actually   typed   it   out.   It   was   really   nice   to   find   out   that’s   actually   a   thing   people   do   ,   you   know   ,   cause   I   got   all   that   shit   in   my   head   ,   I   kinda’   thought   that   was   a   me   thing.   It’s   just   a   thing.   Anyway   -   the   answer   is   simply   …   not   nearly   as   quick   as   my   love   is   getting   back   to   me   or   maybe   likes.   I’m   working   on   it   ,   though.  ❞

how   often   our   muses   text :

❝  I   mean   really   it’s   all   day   ,   he’s   like   texting   me   in   the   house.   I   know   people   do   that   and   it’s   a   normal   thing   ,   but   I’m   right   there.   In   the   house.   Just   walk   downstairs.   Why   ?   How   did   these   late   twenty   somethings   and   thirty   year   olds   end   up   like   this   ?   Goddamnit   -   WHY   DOESN’T   HE   JUST   WALK   DOWN   THE   STAIRS ?  ❞

how   often   our   muses   call :

❝  Everyday.   Not   nearly   as   often   as   I   would   like   ,   but   far   more   than   when   we   started.   Facetime   though.   I   don’t   care   for   it.   But   it’s   our   middle   ground   if   he   isn’t   willing   to   send   a   letter–   I   mean   a   text.   Whatever.  ❞

does   my   muse   purposefully   miss   calls   from   yours :

❝  Ok   but   hear   me   out   for   a   second   ,   it’s   not   like   I’m   off   doing   something   dodgy   ,   it’s   like   how   many   phone   calls   can   I   take   in   less   than   two   hours   about   the   same   Harry   Styles   concert   that   I   TOLD   HIM   ABOUT   happening   at   the   Garden   and   that   yes   I   bought   the   tickets.   Yes   I   bought   three   because   he   can   take   two   friends   ,   because   I   will   never   go   stand   in   a   pit   of   sobbing   teenage   girls   and   my   grown   sobbing   boyfriend   ,   I   literally   won’t   do   it.   Harry   Styles   is   a   very   talented   young   man   and   I   wish   him   well   ,   but   he   is   a   human   fucking   man,   I   mean.   Really.   Anyway   -   yes.   Occasionally   yes   for   very   specific   reasons   ,   but   if   I   don’t   it   will   drive   me   to   a   madness   with   which   the   Russians   could   have   only   dreamt   to   inflict   onto   my   psyche.   HE   IS   JUST   A   MAN.  ❞

last   text   sent   from   my   muse   to   yours :

❝  Stiles ,  

I’ll   keep   this   short   ,   because   I’m   going about   80pmh   through   the   Holland Tunnel   ,   but   I   really think   your   hair   is a   beautiful   brown.   Stiles   ,   I   will   write   you   ten   thousand   poems   about   your   fucking   hair   ,   but   please   don’t   try   and see   if   blue   Kool   -   Aid   will   dye   your   hair   ,   all   it’s   going   to   do   is   dye   our sheets   a   sickly   teal   color   -   shit   I’m getting   pulled   over  

Sincerely ,

J.   B.   Barnes  ❞

[kabillieu]

I had a baby on June 30th at just past midnight. I told very few people I was pregnant because it was difficult being pregnant again--not physically, I had a very easy pregnancy in that regard, but emotionally. I didn’t even talk about my pregnancy to people I saw in person. I just...pretended like I wasn’t pregnant? I did what I had to do to protect my mental health. It was borderline antisocial of me, but whatever.

After a very easy, by-the-books, typical pregnancy with no complications other than my age, I had a wild and traumatic delivery that culminated in an emergency c-section because my uterus ruptured. It was very, very dramatic, and baby and I both almost died, but because we were already in a big hospital with a surgeon who just happened to be there that night and a NICU, we got immediate life-saving care. I was told by my doctor and the surgeon who did the c-section that had I been at home or even in a smaller, more rural hospital we would have both died. I don’t know what to say or think about that. Mostly I’ve been trying not to think about it because we didn’t die. I’m recovering well, albeit without my uterus or Fallopian tubes, and my baby is alive and doing as well as possible given he had to be resuscitated and no one was sure how long he’d been without oxygen or what the damage, if any, would be. We spent 18 days in the NICU, and it was rough, but all his scans, lab work, MRI, ultrasounds, echocardiogram, etc. came back normal. I wasn’t able to see him for the first 8 hours of his life, and I wasn’t able to hold him until he was four days old because the doctors cooled his entire body for three days to try to mitigate any potential damage that might have occurred. We’ve been told he will likely have no long term effects from being born so traumatically. For something so scary and disastrous, we couldn’t have asked for better results. 

I’m still pretty stunned by everything. I’m very, very grateful to be home. I’m trying to reckon with the fact that I had a hysterectomy? Feeding him is a complete circus because we do a combination of breast, bottle, and pumping every time he eats. I have a good, maybe almost-sufficient milk supply, but he has to learn how to breastfeed efficiently, and until then I’m pumping constantly and it is a chore. 

He is a very, very sweet baby. Very different from my eldest who was born a hellion and then matured into a joyful baby around 4-5 months-old. We bought a very expensive smart bassinet called a Snoo in anticipation of having another baby who doesn’t sleep, but so far this one does. And honestly the Snoo is still worth it anyway.

I’ve got a lot to process and no time to do so. Three years ago if you had told me what 2020-22 had in store for me I would have first laughed and then been absolutely horrified. I’m not sure how I got here, but I love this baby. I’m so glad we both survived his birth and are okay. I don’t understand the twists and turns my life has taken the last few years, but I do know that I chose him, and I’m glad he’s here.

[muyukijika]

smutmas spectial carl grimes x reader <3

a/n: i post this at 8:57 pm so this really lazy anyway merry chirstmas

summary: you and carl had you’re very first chirstmas that’s all i need to say.

cw: bondage hardom!carl sub!reader she is very sensitive crybabyshort!reader nipple play switch rough sex fingering blowjob oral dildo cockring dirty talk blindfold dubcon? grinding

its chirstmas the day that people have there little joyful day which you hated chirstmas just because but she doesn’t dislike chirstmas because its joyful y/n only hated the joyful chirstmas day because that’s the day that her dad left her to adoption for some reason...you where siting on you’re bed reading a comic book that you love reading until you heard a knock at you’re door you got up and open the door you saw it was carl ‘c-carl?’ he was hold i present it had a bow top of it which the present looked pretty cute. ‘Carl what’s the present for?’ you asked ‘well i thought me and you can do a little chirstmas together sense today is chirstmas and we barley celebrate it.’  he thought be good idea just hung around you for chirstmas even though he already know that you hated chirstmas ‘So what inside the present?’ he look at you and had that smirk on his face. ‘if you open it you know what’s inside” you hesitate to open the box you where scared you didn’t liked it at all ‘i-i-i’ he look at you ask you if you liked the gift you’re response was slow ‘a/n: if that ever make sense’ ‘i-i d-don’t know carl..’ i not ready for this type of stuff..you told him but knowing how he look at you he seemed to be angry for some reason ‘carl?-’ he grab you’re hand and layed you on the bed and hold you’re hands over your head ‘you should be grateful that i’m even getting you stuff’ ‘c-carl i-i’m not ready!’ you cried to him you where a crybaby which carl founded adorable. ‘aww is slut about cry?’ he mocked and slurred you wanted to get out of this mess carl was digging his hand in the gift he give to you he grabbed a rope and blindfold he but you still and raped the rope around your arm he was already getting hard by the way you  looked he could have you all to himself. He than put the blindfold over you’re head he climb on top of you you felt carl clothed cock on your clothed pussy you tried to push carl away by your using you foot he got off of you and hold your legs wide open he looked down and you were soak ‘so the slut do like this huh you like it when i’m rough with you?’ you bit you’re lip to hold your moans to not even give him one sasitfaction. ‘Fuck you!” you shouted at him he wasn’t going to be playing nice now he slap you’re clothed pussy hard ‘  you should give some respect you son of a bitch!’ he yelled at you he grabbed extra rope and raped y/n legs onto the headboard he smirk down at you and climb back onto you, you once again felt his hard clothed cock on you’re clothed pussy he roughly but slowly grind on top of you, he moaned against you’re ear to tease you moaned his hand went  to your clothed pussy he than put his hand inside you’re panties he rub huge circles around you’re clit ‘yeah you like that don’t you’ he was still grinding on top you still. But after awhile of you guys moaning he went fast you were about to cum ‘No i don’t want to cum please!’ you cried you both moaned together “F-Fuck!’ he moaned loudly ignoring you while he came inside his  pants as you came inside you’re panties you cried never thought that this will be type day where you guys had sex carl grab a knife from his pocket and ripped the panties and now you where completely naked on the bottom half you’re body he climb off of you and once again he was digging inside present you couldn’t till what it was because you had the blindfold on but you could hear the movements which you thought he was digging something inside box ‘if you be good girl i’ll let you out of the ropes okay?’ you nodded he took off the blindfold you could finally see what’s going on he took out a dildo out from the box you shivered because how big and thick it was, it was a blue dildo you had a tear running down you’re cheek ‘its going to fit okay slut’ he knew how sensitive you were ‘b-but what if its hurts...’ you asked him  ‘well its not my pussy is it?’ he looked at you ‘n-no’ he lined the dildo against you’re pussy he waited a little bit to fit it in then finally he push the dildo inside of you. You moaned from the pain and pleasure it given you than he went a slow pace ‘good girl you like a thick dick inside of you huh’ you were whining now on how he said that so boldly.  After a while he went faster and faster and faster you where squirming little bit sense you where in the ropes so you couldn’t move as much ‘F-FUCK N-NO!’ you came he smirk at you and took the dildo away from you he look at your cunt he then climb where you’re clit where as he leaned in to you’re hole you noticed he haven’t bother to take his hat off once sense this ever started you softly moaned he lick up and down you’re clit he look up at you he was groaning on how sexy you looked you moans was turning him on he was moaning a little bit inside you’re pussy aswell  he sucked on you’re clit to take the cum off of you, you were a moaning mess you were about cum again ‘M-mmmmm~!’ you squirted inside his mouth he moaned ‘fuck...’ he lick his lips then he stood up take his pants off. you blushed at the sight he then  took his boxers off ‘you know i’ve been waiting for this’ he hover over you, you were now seeing a hole view of him he then got on his knees his cock is on you’re lips ‘suck slut..’ he said to you, you hesitate to do so but you slowly open you’re mouth he put his hand on you’re forehead then pushed his cock inside of you’re mouth he groaned ‘i bet you like it huh you whore.’ his hips where starting to move silghtly. 

a/n look i’m done if you guys want a part 2 then comment if you like... 

[elleloquently]

the wretched and joyful : ellie williams

life in jackson has been life with ellie williams, your best friend that you've spent nearly every day with. it was easy to ignore the butterflies or shaking hands, until ellie starts to pull away and you're left with untangling the feelings all on your own.

| a/n - excited to finally share the intro for my new multi part fic! i have so much planned for this. had to have an intro showing cute friendship stuff before it all gets destroyed. if you enjoyed reading this, please consider commenting/reblogging! &lt;3 | c/w - general themes : ellie williams x female reader. mentions of violence, jealousy, best friends (to enemies) to lovers, angst, mutual pining, slow burn. this fic is purely for fun. with that being said, every single detail will not be canon compliant. if that may bother you, this might not be the fic for you! thank u!

you had almost died before you had made it to jackson.

you didn't really know why you weren't dead. you weren't really sure why the man with the gun took pity on you that day. maybe it really was your weakness that had saved you.

weakness, or plain stupidity. it didn't matter anyway.

when you were surrounded by a group of people on horses, you were fighting for sensibility. the lower halves of their faces had been covered with scarves acting as masks, and you didn't know if they were the bandits that assumably slaughtered your previous group or members of a rumored safe haven.

you had been scared and exhausted, fighting for your life even though you weren't even sure if that was what you wanted anymore. you yelled and spat out threats to spite the tears in your eyes, anything to defend yourself before your lungs would surely give out. driven purely by nerves, you continued waving your weapon around even when the man leading the group ordered you to drop it.

it was practically a death sentence. it should've been a death sentence, but it wasn't.

their promises of safety fell on deaf ears until you actually saw the place. even then, it was months until you got a decent night of sleep.

the man who was the first to point his gun at you, tommy, was also the first to lower it. you don't know what made him save you that day, but when you arrived at jackson he almost seemed amused.

in passing, he spoke to another man that you later learned to be joel.

"get ready for a case of deja fucking vu," tommy had muttered.

you didn't know what it meant, and you didn't know how to decipher the look that plastered itself onto joel's face.

you were the last surviving member of your group before jackson, or at least that's what you had to assume. nobody really believed that you had made it that far on your own, especially considering the state that you were in. you knew that they were weary about another group coming and looking for you, despite your honest confessions.

before jackson, before you were alone, you had been taken in by a group. the QZ was threatening to fall any day, and they had heard whispers. talk of safe communities throughout the states. with the information they had compiled across time, one of the rumors was bound to be true. you weren't admittedly close with any of the adults but on the night of chaos, they convinced you to join them.

you wanted to believe that they cared for you, but the truth lingered in the back of your mind. you knew that they knew that you wouldn't make it out. you wanted to believe that they were truly good, but when you shared your story with tommy, maria, and joel, you noticed the glances. the looks they shared. you didn't understand it until you were older, and even then it took awhile to come to terms with the truth.

your group wasn't saving you. they weren't looking out for you. they were using you. you were bait.

on the day that you had lost them, they told you to stay put in the woods. they told you that you would be safe there, because they weren't sure about what was up ahead. if the coast was clear, they would come back for you.

it wasn't true.

they had thought that they were heading into safety, and leaving you behind was a distraction to the bandits that had been hot on your trail. they had been wrong. they walked straight into trouble, and you went undetected.

and they had thought that you didn't stand a chance.

well, they were wrong. now all of them were dead and you were still here.

if only they stayed put, maybe they would've been saved too.

you were just about sixteen on the day that jackson opened itself up to you.

now, a few years later, you were proud to call jackson your home.

you had your own home, a house (though you swore that if the day ever came and jackson's population grew dramatically, you would be the first to offer it up. it was a compromise for allowing you to live on your own) to call your own, and friends. a community.

there weren't many people your age compared to the QZ, considering, but still somehow more than you had expected.

your first friend was dina, sent to check in on you days after you had first arrived in jackson. maria was concerned that you wouldn't be a good fit after you had stayed inside, hesitant to show your face. dina had knocked on your door, introduced herself, and by the very next day you had been out and about.

then came jesse. and then ellie. and then cat. and then there was less of cat, until your little group had solidified into yourself, dina, jesse, and ellie. you would thank your lucky stars every single day that you had people to relate to, people that you could talk to and really trust.

dina and jesse were great. so was ellie, just... differently. not in a bad way though. never in a bad way. joel had originally warned you that she could be a little rough around the edges, but you didn't get that. you talked about a lot of things pretty quickly. you never really knew what it was like to have a best friend, but you were pretty sure that ellie was it.

you were practically attached at the hip, once upon a time. though it became lesser and lesser as time went on, you still had a certain fondness for ellie in your heart that no one else seemed to match.

it's not that you stopped being friends, because you still hung out just about every single day. she just seemed a little different. less comfortable maybe, and a little more jaded. not that you blamed her. it was just difficult trying to decipher how she would feel each day. sometimes, ellie made you feel as though you were the most important person in the world. other times, she always seemed to keep you at an arm's length. more so lately than ever before. maybe she was getting a little sick of you, or maybe she was just drained from patrol. whatever it was, your feelings never seemed to waver.

"you're late," you observed, squinting over at the figure approaching you.

"hardly. patrol took longer than we thought. don't get picky," the figure warned, reaching a hand out to you.

you ignored the gesture, pulling yourself up from the curb in which you were sat.

"a plan is a plan, williams."

the tone of your scolding was half-hearted and the crease on ellie's forehead eased.

"any chance at a rain check?" ellie asked.

the softness of her tone made you do a double take, scanning her features for any sign of unhappiness. ellie looked fine though, just tired.

"i promised addie that i'd bring you. she's been wanting to talk to you, you know."

"i don't know what for," ellie muttered begrudgingly, but you knew that it was only because she was feeling shy.

adeline hollis was an older woman residing in jackson. you had grown close throughout your time spent there, pretty much depicting her as a familial figure in your life. besides dina, she was one of the first people to actually talk you.

mrs. hollis was quick-witted, kind-hearted, and exceptionally good with a needle. she fixed up clothes for you often, and managed to turn any stray fabrics into articles of clothing that you actually felt proud of. you felt safe around her, allowed to be vain and wish for pretty things despite the state of everything else.

you shrugged and took a few steps, allowing ellie to decide whether or not she was going to follow after you.

"doesn't matter," you brushed off. "besides, she was fixin' up joel's boots, you can play delivery girl."

"you're annoying today," ellie complained, and you knew that she was following you because the sound of her voice was pretty close.

"i'm in a good mood," you replied, frowning as the words left your lips. were you?

you could never give yourself much time to think about it. it wasn't worth a second thought anyway, not now.

"right," ellie snorted, finally appearing at your side.

the sun was so bright that it felt warm, the feeling of late spring tangible wherever you went.

you glanced at ellie briefly, not trusting yourself to look more than once. her cheeks were turning pink from the sun and she looked sleepy. it made your heart swell.

you didn't knock once you had made it to the familiar front door - you knew that you didn't need to.

"addie!" you called into the home, leaving ellie to follow in after you. "we're here!"

you were quickly greeted with a hug, made to feel like each visit was a special occasion despite how frequent they were.

"there you are!" adeline beamed, catching ellie extremely off guard by greeting her with a hug as well. "i'm so glad you girls are here."

"hi mrs. hollis," ellie mumbled, a bashful smile adorning her lips. ellie's cheeks were red from the interaction and you cleared your throat to stifle a giggle.

"do you have it?" you inquired, prompting ellie's confusion from the way in which your eyebrows danced with the question.

"you'll love it," adeline assured, swiftly exiting the room and leaving you to bounce on your feet.

ellie managed to scoot her way closer to your side, leaning into you as she spoke. "what are you-"

"don't you love it?" adeline expressed confidently, holding up a long, flowing piece of fabric.

except, it wasn't just a piece of fabric anymore. adeline had worked it into a skirt for you, and your eyes widened in adoration.

"addie!" you squealed, rushing forward and hugging the material against your chest. ellie's presence was momentarily forgotten, nearly, until you spun around and held up the skirt to her.

"don't you love it?" you gushed, and ellie looked robotic in the way that she bobbed her head.

you examined the fabric closer. the faded, dainty floral pattern covering the skirt was more than you could've hoped for.

"i love it," you breathed, looking to adeline with wet eyes. if ellie didn't feel so uncomfortable, she probably would've snickered at you. "truly, thank you so much. this is beautiful," you admired.

"please," adeline waved a hand. "it keeps me busy. and you," she faced ellie, singling her out. "i don't know what that man does all day to put those godforsaken shoes in such a horrible shape."

ellie looked dumbfounded, and this time you didn't shy away from releasing your giggles.

"joel's boots are by the door," adeline sighed.

"right. thank you," ellie responded, moving to collect them as quickly as she could.

you bid farewell to adeline, expressing your gratitude about five more times until she all but pushed you out of the door. lovingly, of course.

ellie begrudgingly carried the boots as you twirled and skipped and admired your new article of clothing.

"we gotta go out now, do something special," you joked.

"yeah? what's the occasion?"

a quick glare shaped ellie up quickly.

"don't you think it's pretty?" you asked, desperate for a compliment despite the fact that you weren't even wearing it yet.

"i do," ellie agreed, quick to please you. "it's perfect for you."

"it is, isn't it?" maybe you really were in a good mood today. a real one. "what about dina and jesse?"

"what about them?" ellie mused, watching as you held the skirt carefully in your hands, not allowing it to drape on the ground.

"off?" you questioned thoughtfully, wrinkling your nose in ellie's direction.

ellie shook her head.

"really?"

"really. dina and jesse are back on. as of... yesterday?" ellie contemplated.

"wow, news travels slow i guess," you joked, causing ellie to nudge your arm.

"don't worry, they'll be broken up again before we know it. it's no use even keeping track anymore."

"ellie! that's mean," you laughed, shaking your head.

ellie felt a little guilty for teasing behind their backs but really, it was getting ridiculous. besides, the sound of your laughter eased the guilt pretty damn quick.

"come back with me," ellie changed the subject.

you faltered, nearly tripping over your own foot. "what?"

"to mine," ellie clarified. "give joel his-" she swung the boots at you, acting as if she was going to throw them. "-disgusting old new shoes."

your heart skipped a beat from the invitation and you had already known that you were going to say yes. ellie could have invited you to help her clean out shimmer's stall and you would've said yes without hesitation. speaking from experience, just once or twice...

"sure," you grinned.

if you went with ellie, you would probably spend hours listening to her as she went through her comic collection again. and then you would probably end up falling asleep. and then you would probably stay the night. you would share the bed, normal, and get a sick feeling in your stomach whenever her leg accidentally grazed your own, not normal.

determined to cling onto the feeling of a good day, you swallowed down the not normal feelings, as you usually did.

ellie looked at you and smiled, like genuinely grinned, and your fingertips went numb.

"last one there cleans shimmer after patrol," ellie taunted, the reason behind her smile no longer feeling pure.

"what?" you laughed in disbelief, just before ellie took off.

"ellie!" you shouted, fumbling to quickly catch up to her. "ellie williams! i don't even do patrol!"

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

"-this one's my favorite though. i mean, look at the cover. isn't it sick?"

ellie shoved the worn comic book in your direction, causing you to blink and raise your head to get a better look.

"it is really cool," you murmured. you knew it was her favorite issue, and you already knew what the cover looked like. still, you loved to hear her talk.

ellie sat up, peering at you. you were laying on your stomach, cheek buried in the blankets of ellie's bed.

"you're just agreeing with me," ellie grumbled, suddenly twinging with annoyance at the way your tank top strap was sliding down your shoulder.

"i'm agreeing with you because i agree," you huffed, wrinkling your nose at her.

ellie placed a firm hand on your hip, shoving you to the side.

"ellie!" you exclaimed, rubbing your eyes in an attempt to wipe the sleep from your system.

"scoot over," ellie instructed, pulling up the blankets.

"hm?" you questioned while you obliged anyway. you wanted to sleep over, to stay with your best friend for as long as possible but you didn't want to be a bother.

"you're sleeping over, aren't you?" ellie acknowledged, holding the covers up for you. the room was dark but lit lightly from the window. ellie prayed that you couldn't see the way in which she held her breath.

you adjusted your body, looking curiously at ellie. "do you mind?"

ellie shook her head, patting the spot next to her. "'course not."

that was all the confirmation that you needed. you slid your body under the blankets, next to ellie but mindful of the distance between yourselves. if you adjusted again you would be touching, so you stayed still and didn't move.

it was quiet, and you couldn't tell if it was awkward or comforting. maybe a little of both, and that was okay.

"are you tired?" you questioned, turning on your side to face ellie.

ellie copied, turning to face you and scanning your features in the dark. "yeah. is that okay?"

"yeah," you whispered. "do you have patrol tomorrow again?"

ellie nodded, and then realized you might not be able to see her. "yeah. with dina. but don't worry about leaving early, okay?"

you sighed, allowing your body to sink further into the bedding.

sleep was enveloping you quicker than expected, but it didn't surprise you based on how comforting you find it to be in ellie's presence. you were nearly off, until ellie's voice broke the silence and threw you out of your sleepy trance.

"it is pretty," she whispered.

"what?"

"your new skirt," ellie replied softly, earning a sleepy grin from you.

you muttered a quiet thank you, cheeks burning and mind whirling. you wanted to say more, but you could tell that ellie was already falling asleep and you didn't want to deprive her of it.

she was so honest, so sweet sometimes. you forced your eyes open, studying the girl sleeping next to you. it made your eyebrows furrow, the way your heart pounded when ellie was this close.

shit.

turning away, you shut your eyes again and willed sleep to come.

it must've, at some point, because before you knew it the sun was causing you to blink awake and you were stretching in an empty bed. the absence never failed to make your stomach drop, even though you already knew where ellie was.

laying alone in your best friend's bed made you feel a certain level of pathetic that was almost unknown.

you could've waited around until she got back, but you forced yourself up and away.

you would see ellie again later anyway, so it was better to have some space to yourself for awhile.

it wasn't anything that you could really make sense of, you just needed to clear your head before ellie was back consuming nearly all of your senses.

it wasn't a big deal, you would tell yourself over and over.

over and over until it felt true.

[morganas-pendragons]

I posted 1,394 times in 2022

That's 366 more posts than 2021!

179 posts created (13%)

1,215 posts reblogged (87%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@morganas-pendragons

@authortobenamedlater

@embarrassedauthornerd

@thelvadams

@mcbride

I tagged 1,184 of my posts in 2022

Only 15% of my posts had no tags

#show: hotd - 69 posts

#halo spoilers - 63 posts

#twd spoilers - 58 posts

#show: kenobi - 53 posts

#show: halo - 49 posts

#c: obi wan kenobi - 45 posts

#show: moon knight - 44 posts

#batfam - 42 posts

#moon knight spoilers - 41 posts

#kenobi spoilers - 39 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#kix getting adopted by obi-wan bc he's force sensitive and obi-wan found out he was gonna get decommissioned so he said screw the kaminoans

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Nobility | Elijah Mikaelson

as I am writing this I am currently on 4x17 of the vampire diaries and I had a whole dream about this man last night that prompted me to write this fic. and he's hot. okay. I love the complexity of his character.

anyway, this isn't too long but I had to get this out. possible part 2 if you guys like it. enjoy!

***

He's not somebody worthy of being loved. He knows that. Someone who has committed the atrocities he did, someone who had lived a long enough life to be sure that he was at peace when death came for him.

Pushing people away is better. Mikaelsons are artists at that. When you have lived long enough to see the same eyes in different generations of people, it becomes difficult to allow yourself to feel things like what Elijah believes himself to be feeling right now.

Love, if memory serves him correctly.

You were just a simple person. Someone who didn't ask for a lot, someone who took joy in the little things rather than the things that often drew people to him and his brothers. Money. Extravagance. You were not interested in that.

You were just interested in him. The man across the cobblestone street who would simply stand by and watch you play violin from dawn until dusk. The way he would always smile when he thought you weren't looking and the way his eyes looked when the sunlight reflected off of them just the right way.

You found beauty in the every day. Him? He was ethereal, and that drew your attention.

He almost never approached you for the first several weeks that you took your street corner, but every time you came back from your breaks you found two hundred dollars in your violin case.

Generous and curious. Interesting.

The days that handsome stranger was there the most was when you played older music. It seemed to ring familiar to him. Like it reminded him of something better. When you recognized what his favorites were, you made an effort to play only those whenever he came around.

It's a shame he was drawn to you so easily.

"Excuse me?" That wonderful, brilliant accent rang clearly behind you as you turned away from the coffee stand parallel to your corner. "I thought I would formally introduce myself to you. My name is Elijah."

Of course you knew who he was. The Mikaelsons had only helped established New Orleans. "It's nice to meet you, Mr. Mikaelson." You replied. "Can I get you a cup of coffee?"

He was handsome, dressed in that deep navy suit with the crisp white tie. Dressed immaculately and finely groomed. Someone definitely had an appearance to maintain.

"I'd rather you give me your name."

You smile around the plastic rim of your cup as you reply with your name. His eyes crinkle around the edges when he smiles as he hears it. It's just as lovely as you are.

"And yours?" You ask.

"Elijah. Elijah Mikaelson."

***

Christmas came easily enough. Tips were always better around this time of year, and you were meant to be one of the featured violinists in the Christmas festivities on the square. People came and people went. You were always smiling. Always joyful.

The world had spared you from pain.

Or that was at least what Elijah thought.

"Where is this girl that you haven't stopped yammering on about?" Klaus remarked as the two of them moved down the cobblestone street in the direction of the Christmas lights and the smell of hot cocoa. "Because I have heard many a violinists in my day but with the way you talk about her-"

Elijah jabbed his brother in the side and pointed to the stage. There you were in all your glory, dressed in one of those typical Santa suits for women that was just a little bit too short and had that ridiculous hat. He'd never understood the purpose behind that story that catered to children's dreams.

"Her. That's her."

"Ah, I can see why you're drawn to her." Klaus murmured. "Innocence is not something we're accustomed to, brother."

Maybe that's why he was so drawn to you. You in all your innocent beauty, a simple human, someone he was so desperate to know to see if this one person... this one girl.... could help him believe the one thing about himself he's been trying so hard to deny.

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155 notes - Posted February 21, 2022

#4

fragments | the master chief

This is entirely @embarrassedauthornerd fault. She sent me the idea when I said that I wanted to write John fic for the show, and this happened. It will be multiple parts. Please tell me what you think. Likes tell me nothing. Reblogs, comments, anything is appreciated!

and if you'd like to be tagged, please let me know! this contains spoilers for the first two episodes of Halo. Female!Reader. Enjoy!

***

Things are coming back to him in fragments. Memories. Soft, monochromatic pictures and faces of people he was not supposed to forget. John knows deep in his heart - something that is never supposed to lead his actions, but here he is anyway on the run from the UNSC - that what he keeps seeing every time he touches the object is something Halsey took from him.

He wants to hate her, but how can he? She raised him. Morphed him into who he is. Catherine Halsey was the sculpter of everything The Master Chief is known for.

What John fails to understand is why you are in them. There are two adults, rolling hills and a white dog, and a girl who smiles at him like he is the reason for her happiness.

The imagery always shifts though. Your face is the only one that does. The rest is pure, untainted, hidden away in the corners of his mind, and only triggered by the object that cannot be named.

When you are not smiling, you are screaming.

And that petrifies him. The infamous Master Chief Petty Officer, the pride of the military and humanity, is afraid of and for you.

You should be looking harder for me, John. Look deeper.

He's only just finished his conversation with Halsey in his cell when he dares to broach the topic. She's been regarding him with such a soft look, such a look of concern but he knows it's just masking the intrigue for whatever he endured when he touched the object the second time. Data. Catherine Halsey lives and breathes discoveries.

117 has to learn autonomy: He is not hers, he is not a tool. That's right, John. You're human. Blood and flesh and bone with a heart that is only yours. No one can take that from you.

John swallows the knot in his throat and carefully considers his words.

"I've been seeing something else. Another person I don't remember. There are people. Multiple."

"Oh? And who might this be?"

He pauses and closes his eyes again to picture you. Shimmering hair that's a color he can't quite discern, eyes that seem to stare right through and into him, hands that cradle his face and run thumbs against his jawline just gentle enough that the touch is almost imperceptible.

The image flickers. You're smiling, then screaming, and then there is simply darkness. No other memories remain. He is so desperate to know you. Who are you? Why do you make him feel safe? What are these memories that are just out of his grasp?

"A girl." His expression is grave as he meets Halsey's gaze. "Not just a normal girl either. I knew her. Well. And I can't-I need to remember her."

Halsey flashes one of those smiles - that condescending, wicked smile - before she gently squeezes his hand and stands to her feet. "No, John." She replies cooly. The way she so easily brushes off his pleas speaks volumes. "You don't need to remember. That's not the mission here. The mission is to understand the effects of the artifact and what it contains inside."

The mission is to understand the weapon, John. You are not a priority. Your desires are secondary to that of the UNSC. You are a tool. A weapon. And weapons do not get to plead to remember fragments of memories that may not even be real.

John gives a curt nod as she slips out the door and disappears. He is alone with his thoughts. His dreams.

He dreams of dancing. Something he'd never seen himself doing, but someone had coaxed him into doing it after a lengthy lesson. He'd stumbled over his feet at first and had blushed through his embarrassment, but you had simply brushed it off with a shy smile and encouraged him to try again.

So he did. That night, John dreams of dancing.

As John sleeps, Halsey paces. She knows exactly what he is talking about. That girl had been the other candidate to be conscripted into the Spartan 2 program at the beginning of her work. She had failed the preliminary checklist and had been removed, effective immediately.

Or they'd tried to until John had become attached to her. And well, attachments for Spartans are forbidden. The UNSC cannot allow their prized Spartan to be attached.

So they'd done what they saw fit. They had broken that girl down to the very fabric of what makes a human human, wiped it clean, and reprogrammed her to be their best.

Their best headhunter.

The one with fragmented memories of a boy.

****

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185 notes - Posted April 5, 2022

#3

succumb | the master chief

summary: john dreams of the one thing he’s desperate to have. You. 

Sometimes in the quiet hours of the morning, John dreams. They’re fairly simple dreams when he’s younger. Dreams of desire to be able to live the childhood he knows deep down he will never have. Dreams to be back home on Eridanus II, surrounded by the love of his mother and father, and running with reckless abandon through the forest he calls home. 

They change as he gets older. His dreams shift from home to horror. There’s no longer dreams of light and happiness and freedom. It’s just war. 

That is.. until he meets you. John meets you, a fragment of a memory from his past, and he’s suddenly dreaming of something he hasn’t dreamt of since he was a child: Home. Waking up beside you, brushing hair from your face and admiring your beauty even in sleep, being able to feel you and call you his... 

It’s a dream. 

A dream he welcomes openly. It prompts him to want to sleep more. 

The ones that make desire pool in his stomach are the ones where Silver isn’t around. Where he’s alone in the bunk room and dressed only in his fatigues, battle weariness settling on his shoulders so much that his body cannot carry weight anymore and he leans forward to hide his head in his hands. 

That’s when he feels the ghost of lips against his arm. He already knows what it’s from. A side effect of the augmentation, the scar is thick and ridged and stands out so starkly against his skin that it’s practically impossible to hide. John had never been fazed by them before. He wasn’t one for insecurities.. but he had been so nervous once he started thinking about what you might think about his scars. 

That was why he’d hidden them.

Until now. 

John’s entire body shudders at the sensation of your lips burning his skin, fingertips trailing across his hipbones and upward until they settle just over where his heart is pounding. 

  “I wish you knew how loved you were, John.” Your voice is so soft he nearly doesn’t hear it even in the quietness of the room. 

He doesn’t reply. John’s head slowly tips to the side, and he slowly breathes through his chest constricting and the dizziness that settles upon him whenever you begin to kiss your way upward to the column of his neck. 

  “I don’t deserve to be loved this way.” The words are out before he can stop them, and The Master Chief whines when your touch disappears just briefly before he’s then being pinned to the bed, his wrists trapped by your hands above his head. 

What a view. He’s grown so used to sorched battlefields and the echoes of screams, but the view of the person he loves poised above him with that fixed, intense stare that screams adoration is something he can get used to. 

He craves that. Wants that. 

Is desire human? 

  “You listen to me, John-117.” Your voice is firm but gentle as you lean in closer, closer closer close enough that he can feel your breath fan his face as your eyes flicker from his eyes to his lips. “I don’t care how much blood is on your hands. I don’t care what sins you’ve had to commit. I am yours...” 

Your lips hover just over his. 

  “And you are mine.” 

And he always wakes up before he can kiss you. 

*** 

One day, I will kiss you. 

He seeks you out like a man on a mission the follow day. You’re alone in the gym set aside for the Spartans, back turned to him as you continue to aim your wrapped hands at the punching bag. 

Heat pools in your stomach at the thought of John standing across from you, bare chested and poised to fight, and there’s something deep in you that says you want him to. You want him to pin you down with his body and kiss you until your lungs scream for air and your lips are swollen. 

Is desire a human need? 

Might as well be. It’s all you’re capable of feeling when you’re in proximity of the Master Chief. 

You stop mid-stride to peer over your shoulder as the door shuts behind you. John moves in with all the grace of a battle hardened warrior, and you barely have enough time to react before his gaze is fixed on you. 

Hungry. 

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216 notes - Posted May 18, 2022

#2

There’s Only Legacies Burning | O.K.

[not my gif!]

Guys, truthfully, I am not okay after watching that episode. It sucked for me. I'm not someone who usually reacts to TV and what tv shows bring because I'm aware it's not real, but this episode felt so real it made me physically nauseous despite how excellent it was.

spoilers for Kenobi 1x03. let me know if I should write for him again!

tagging my name twin @penfullofwordsaheadfullofstories​

He can't breathe. Everything is encompassed by fire, and he can't breathe.

Part of him knew that this day was going to be coming. Even if he hadn't been entirely aware that Darth Vader was walking around in the body of his former Padawan, Obi-Wan knew that he would have to face the main who had essentially brought the galaxy to ruin.

It didn't mean he couldn't try to run from it.

Leia and Tala and yourself were safe. He was more then okay with being the diversion if it meant you and Leia got back to Alderaan. He had accepted Death as a gift a long time ago. This would be okay. He would be okay.

Because wasn't he always? People knew him as Obi-Wan Kenobi, the Master of Soresu and a Jedi so steeped in the Light Side that he practically embodied it.

The war he wasn't even supposed to be fighting in just kept taking and taking and taking. Jedi were not soldiers. They were never meant to be soldiers, and yet the Dark Lord of the Sith had orchestrated an entire war that had inevitably led to their downfall. He had lost, time and time again. Lost Qui-Gon, lost to Maul, lost Satine, lost Ahsoka and Anakin... he was so used to losing things, losing people, that he seemed to have forgotten what it was like to succeed. To win.

If only The Great Negotiator of Yesterday could see him now...

He had lost. They had lost. What was the point of fighting, of trying to be someone of a long-dead era, when there was nothing left to fight for? What was the point of trying to stay loyal to the Light when the whole galaxy was encased in darkness and death?

He looks at Leia's face and sees it then, just moments before they part. The reason why he's decided to do this. Hope. Joy. The promise of a future.

But when he looks at you? There is all of the love he feels as if he has been deprived of. Loving you, being with you, is like replenishing the air that has been snatched from his lungs and granting him the ability to remember what it's like to properly breathe again.

When he looks at you, the embers of the man who compose Obi-Wan Kenobi begin to grow stronger, and the pieces are slowly put back together by the capable hands of someone who has always held his heart.

It's a shame that he will now die without it.

"Now you will suffer, Obi-Wan. Your pain has only just begun.” 

It’s fitting, now that he thinks about it. Even if Anakin always did have a flare for the dramatic. Obi-Wan had left him in the prime of his suffering and his rage when he’d departed from his brother’s burning body on the banks of Mustafar. Those fires had burnt away what little remained of Anakin Skywalker and had birthed Darth Vader. 

These fires will burn away the last of Obi-Wan and birth Ben. 

The fire goes out for a miraculous reprieve, but Obi-Wan finds himself unable to move very well knowing that he’s failed his mission. Again. He failed you, and he failed Anakin, and he failed Ahsoka and Luke and Leia and Cody-

  “Bring him to me.” 

Somewhere in the distance he hears a cry from a stormtrooper - a failed attempt to recreate the soldiers that the clones had once been to the republic - as a teal lightsaber flies out of the darkness in a wide arc around Vader that seemingly takes out every single trooper who had been looking to kill him. 

Vader tilts his head. He clearly wasn’t counting on you, emerging from the dark right in between himself and Obi-Wan. 

Your saber flies back into your hand to be gripped by white knuckles. 

  “I believe you’re trying to take something that doesn’t belong to you, chaak’ar. You don’t get to have Obi-Wan.” You tilt your head to the side in a manner that just screams threatening. “But you already knew that, didn’t you?” 

Vader is not amused. “Your devotion to the Light is futile. Your anger and your bitterness would have made you a fantastic Sith apprentice. If only you had seen it sooner, then you would not have suffered the fate of falling in love with the man who made me this.” Vader replied.

You rolled your eyes. Even if this.. thing... had taken over Anakin’s body, he still had the ability to somehow make everything seem much more dramatic by making it about himself. 

  “I’ve heard enough of your lies. You were the one who failed. Failed me, failed him,” You point behind you at the ground where Obi-Wan lays. “I came into Anakin’s life too late. I know that. Despite that, when we loved him time and time again, loving him then and loving him now only made us weak.” You loosen the grip on the hilt of your blade and eye the machine in the corner, in which you most definitely intend to use the opportunity of an explosion to slip away into the night. “Goodbye, Lord Vader.” 

Your saber flies toward the panel, and Tala watches as you and NED bend down to scoop Obi-Wan up while fleeing under the cover of night fall, leaving Lord Vader to watch the flames dissipate before him. 

See the full post

336 notes - Posted June 2, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Accurate representations of my mood after moon knight episode 5:

See the full post

419 notes - Posted April 27, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[bullfrogjoy]

Bullfrog Joy

December 15, 2023

Good Morning! Nine more days till Christmas. Seven more days till family is here. Gonna take a break from Bullfrog Joy to just relax and enjoy. I don’t even need any snow this year. The November snow was enough!!! I am loving this sunshine in December.

Funny joyful story, at least to me. Yesterday was my day to help serve a Christmas lunch at Macomb High School. At first I felt really weird being in the school that is such a rival to my Titans, but it was OK. I didn’t tell anyone! Thought about wearing my Titan sweatshirt but decided that might not be in good taste. Anyway, the project went fine though I spilled a bit of taco meat in my trunk. (easy cleanup because the mat comes out!) After the lunch, I decided I needed a Diet Coke for the drive home. Thought about Casey’s, but I didn’t have my refill cup. Decided on McDonalds. I went inside, saw a sign that said 1.00 and ordered. Then she said, “That will be 1.99.” What??? OK, the sign said buy one, get one for 1.00. I looked at her, decided it was too much to spend on a Coke I probably shouldn’t be drinking any way, and left. She gave me a pretty weird look.

Good for me, right? Well, I drove past Ayrco where the sign advertised 32 oz. drink for a dollar. More my style! I went in…only Pepsi products. Doesn’t matter, I was really thirsty and this was a deal. It tasted sooooo good! Not gonna switch to Pepsi for good, but for a deal, I can do it!

My day ended yesterday with the last two episodes of Joe Pickett on Paramount +. I read the entire book series by C. J. Box last year, at least 20 books. They are so good, easy to read, great stories, great characters. I love Joe Pickett. I even like Nate Romanowski, who often saves Joe’s life, though he doesn’t have as much loyalty to the law as Joe does, and he occasionally rips the bad guy’s ear off. The series is really nothing like the book, but it was still fun. Season number 2 tried to incorporate three books into 10 shows. Joe is pretty much how I pictured him. Nate is so different from the book, but I began to like him a little better. I am ready for the next season!

Pretty selfish joys, huh? I have lots of things to get done in the next few days to be ready for family to show up, but sometimes we just need to “chill” a little bit and take care of ourselves. The things that we need to do will eventually get done, even if I have to stay up a little later. The house will look good, the presents will all be wrapped and the food will get prepared. (the Christmas cards might go out after Christmas…oops!) There are still eight more days.

Let’s just enjoy this season of Christmas. Go see some Christmas lights. Go out for ice cream. Call someone you haven’t talked to in a while. Go for a walk in this wonderful December weather. Jan rode his bike to the farm today. I walked outside. I have a friend who has pledged to walk outside every day in December. If the weather stays like this she will fulfill her pledge!

So my friends, let’s work at being joyful during the next couple of week. Sometimes I am sure it won’t be easy. Other times the laughter will be loud. When I think of Mary and Joseph having a baby outside in a barn, I wonder how they did it. Want to try celebrating Jesus’ birthday outside? So thankful for my home, even if it doesn’t quite meet the white glove inspection.

So slow down a little my friends. Make some lists, cross things off as you get them done.

Jesus is the reason for the season, the reason for the joy. “Joy to the World! All the boys and girls now. Joy to the fishes in the deep blue sea. Joy to you and me.” Sing it out!!! I dare you! And “Joy to the world, the Lord is come. Let Earth receive her king!” Merry Christmas! See you next year!

[skzfilthandfiction]

more sublix plsss <3 maybe breeding kink with felix on top?

Baby wants pups? - Lee Felix

Hello my dear Anonie! How've you been? I hope you are well! Sooo if you didn't know, I live for sub!skz ahhh! Anyway, I hope I understood you well and fulfilled your request! As always, tysm for requesting! ^_^ Enjoy! <3

Masterlist

Pairing : Sub!Felix X Fem!Dom!Reader

Word Count : 1,699

Warnings : UNprotected sex, breeding kink, pet play, dacryphilia, pet names (Not going to name them all but Felix calling reader Mommy here and there and him being a good boy?), service top Felix, Felix gets called dumb and naive, reader controlling Felix, cunnilingus, nipple play too, maybe some swearing? and I think that's itttt!!!

☆ ♡ ☆ ♡

You opened the front door after a long day of work and as expected, Felix was right behind the door, waiting excitedly for you; You could almost imagine a wriggling tail on him, joyful about his owner's return home.

"Y/n-ie!!!" he welcomed, jumping up and down, only stopping when you pat his head lovingly. "Hi Lixie! How are you m?" you asked while he took off your jacket swiftly. "I want mommy" he half whined, making his intentions clear. "That wasn't my question baby" you giggled "Come here" you motioned for him to follow you into your shared bedroom.

"Sit" you ordered, pointing at the ground. He sat on the tile that was exactly in front of your position on the bed. "What exactly do you want mommy to do huh?" you were guessing it was something that you haven't tried together before.

He whimpered and looked down in embarrassment. You knew he became slightly flustered when trying to express his requests. "Come on Lix, you know I won't judge you" you said, in a more serious but reassuring tone, leaning down and lifting his chin up a little with your finger.

His eyes were glossy, lip quivering and fingers fighting each other. "Is my baby that sensitive?" you pout at him in a teasing manner. "N-no" he manages out. "Then why are you crying dummy?" a single tear trickled down his soft left cheek at the name, making you wipe it off right on time before it dripped down his chin.

"I-I just know y-you won't let m-me" He sniffed, bringing the sleeve of his (your) pastel sweater up to his nose. "Won't let you what sweetie?" you asked, curiosity now getting the most of you. "C-cum" he whispered under his breath, the rest of the sentence unheard.

"I'll let you cum if you're a good boy" You said, lightly booping his perfect nose. "Inside you" he mumbled, just loud enough for you to hear. "Oh... you wanna cum inside mommy?" you ask, finally understanding why he was acting differently. He gave you a slight nod and you smirked.

"If you wanna cum inside mommy, you're gonna have to work for it baby" you announced, getting rid of your clothes, and laying on the bed, legs spread wide open. "Please mommy, Lix, and maybe she'll let you fuck your pups into her" he whined more at the last few words.

He sniffed one last time, wiped his face and got his knees closer to the bed, ready to please you like the good boy he is. He gripped your thighs, leaving a trail of kisses in each, but not making you wait long.

He dipped his head between your legs and wetted your core with his saliva with one big lick. He flatted his tongue and licked the whole area, making you fist the sheets at the warm sensation of his tongue against your folds.

He darted his tongue, and using his fingers, he opened up your clit, licking on the hood of your clit. A burning sensation ran through your body, making it almost impossible to resist the noises coming out of your mouth.

He was good at it. You knew he was trying his best to please you and you thought that he deserved to cum inside you. He continued to lap you up with his warm muscle, making you clench around his tongue, but you stopped him right before you could cum.

He sat back on the floor, in his original position, waiting for your next instructions. "Mm such an obedient boy huh? Come here" You ordered again, this time motioning for the bed.

As he scrambled on the bed next to you and shed of his clothes, he had one last request for you. "mm, can I be on top?" He asked looking at the sheets, not even daring to move his eyes, just in case they land on your attractive figure.

"Oh so my dumb baby wants to cum inside me and dom me now?" you chuckled deeply, lying on your back once again for him to devour. "Let me see what my poor baby can do" you said giggling a little at him. He just sat there, not sure if you agreed to his request or not.

"I thought you wanted to dom mommy?" you asked faux confusion on your face. He blinked flustered and quickly shifted his position so that he was now hovering above you.

"What is my dumb puppy going to do huh? Do you want mommy to carry your puppies?" You ask, trying to rile him up. "Y-yes, want my pups inside y-you" He stuttered, trying his best to not seem intimidated. "Then go ahead pup, I'm all yours"

His cock was already rock solid and deeply neglected, red at the top, desperate for release. He started kissing and nibbling on your neck, arousing you even further. You grasped his hair and lightly massaged his head as he went lower, leaving a trail down to your cleavage.

He licked the valley between your breasts and soon took your right nipple into his mouth, messaging the left breast with his left hand. He sucked on the bud with his mouth open, flicking it with his tongue. He nibbled slightly on it too, making you grip the sheets harder.

He eventually switched to the other one, swirling his tongue on the bud and pinching the right nipple between his fingers. At this point your moans bounced off the walls, getting louder by the undeniable pleasure he was giving you.

He was very naive, very inexperienced. He wasn't a virgin, but he barely knew what to do since you always controlled everything every time you two had sex. He usually just laid there, letting you use him as you wanted, controlling the pace and when he cums too.

Now he was on top and he had no idea. He decided to remind himself of what you do when you're on top. He decided to start slowly, then speed up slightly later.

"Lixie, fuck me baby, breed mommy" you ordered and he nodded, looking down and giving his cock a few pumps. He looked at you for reassurance and you nodded, encouraging him to go further. He rubbed the tip along your folds, until he finally found the hole and slides in.

The sensation was different; much better, better than he ever imagined. It felt way more pleasurable, feeling you completely, your insides squeezing him in. On the other hand, you felt the same way. It was different, you could feel every vein on his dick, it was purely skin to skin, nothing in between, feeling each other completely.

Both of you moaned at the new feeling, the pleasure was overwhelming, making him embarrassingly close already. You were no further neither, clenching hard around him almost every time he thrusted deep inside you.

"Come on Lix, aren't you going to breed mommy huh?" You egged, making him speed up his thrusts. You brushed back his side bangs, getting a better look at him. He was just perfect. Not that you never noticed, but he looked perfect in a different way while fucking you like this. This new demeanour of him wasn't normal, but it wasn't bad neither.

His eyebrows were knitted together in focus, his eyes slightly squinted. His cheeks were a hint of red, matching his lips that he kept on licking and biting on. His face looked puffy in general, making you want to squeeze it and call him your little good boy. But not now, when he was ramming in you, desperate to cum, wanting to breed you.

"I want your babies Lix, come on sweetie" you whispered into his ear, making bumps rise on his skin. He could've sworn he got closer when you said that, ramming desperately against you, like a dumb puppy. He wasn't going to let you down, he wanted you to know that your baby boy was able to breed you.

"I want my cum inside you" he moans, making you clench around him due to your orgasm. It obviously felt good, making you throw your head back and pull at the sheets below you. You were quite impressed that you didn't even need to stimulate your clit to cum this time.

He felt you cream his cock, and he was already proud about that. The warmth of your cum around him aroused him even more, brining him closer. He kept on going, feeling you clench once again repeatedly due to the overstimulation you were experiencing. "Then cum inside me" you challenged.

That was it. He halted his movements and suddenly gripped your shoulders, closing his eyes and breathed deeply as he focused on the pleasure. Hot liquid spurted out of his dick. You felt it. You felt him painting your insides with his hot release.

You have never felt that full before, so warm, full of him, full of his babies. "Ok, ok, there we go" You attempted to calm him down, patting his nape and looing at him straight in the eye. "Good boy Lixie, you bred mommy" you praised as a smile lit up his face while he gently pulled out of you.

You clenched around nothing, trying to keep all of it in, but deep inside of you, you could feel it trickling on your walls. "Your pups are in here" You said, pointing at your tummy with a sheepish smile. A huge smile was present on his face, he was satisfied and proud of himself.

You both knew that you were on the pill, but his cum was still deep inside you, and thinking about actually having his babies inside you aroused you both.

"C'mere" you said, laying down against the cool head board, arms wide open for him to jump in. He leans into you, still shy from the moments prior and you ruffle his hair as you pull him into your chest, tucking his head under your chin. "You did well Lixie, I'm so proud of you" You whispered, combing your fingers through his hair softly as he drifted off to sleep, safe in your arms.

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