#anyway. yeah. pain and suffering | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

itspileofgoodthings · 10 months ago

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one of the things that continues to strike me on reread is how much the character of Darcy, and Austen through him, finds Mr. Bennet dead. And how much Elizabeth, in growing and changing and discarding her past blindness, has to move past her way of seeing her father and thus of seeing reality, because the two are connected! Darcy’s letter exposes her father’s flaws to Elizabeth in a way she’d never been able to see before. Most especially the way his laziness and neglect of his own gifts have hurt his family and that ultimately he doesn’t. care. Not enough to change. It literally says that she comes home from Hunsford and tries to laugh at her sisters’ and mother’s folly (the way she used to; the way her father has taught her to by example for her whole life) and she can’t anymore! It sticks in her throat. She is grieved by the failures that she sees in him, all the more so because she IS his favorite and she loves him! And the thing about Mr. Bennet is he never changes. The Lydia/wickham situation exposes to him sharply his own conduct and the consequences and he feels it! Because he is neither stupid nor unfeeling. But he, like everyone, has free will. And he chooses not to change when the opportunity presents itself. He even jokes about how quickly his feeling bad will pass and how soon everything will go back to normal, to his laziness and his selfishness. He is set in his ways and he serves as a contrast to Elizabeth’s personal journey because he embodies a version of a person she could have become and was in danger of becoming if her only goal at all times was to laugh at and judge people from the sidelines.

#pride and prejudice #I’ve always loved his character because he IS funny and he is iconic!!! and his love for Lizzy is touching!#he’s not faking it.#but he is so flawed. a man of taste a man of ability a man of judgment.#a man who could and SHOULD have set a different tone for his children and chose not to!#and they SUFFER FOR IT #their house is a divided one. and every child feels the pain of living in a house where the parents neither respect each other #nor are on the same team #there is a crack running through their house for this reason and it’s how Lydia (and Kitty) came to be so neglected!#who is going to discipline them or guide them? certainly not Mr. Bennet!#he’s so important to teach too. because the boys LOVE HIM. of course!#and are always very struck by his failures and laziness once I point it out #and yeah Darcy one of the only people who can expose him. because Darcy is putting in the work a man should be doing #Darcy’s house IS in order. his love is active and protective. he is fulfilling his role!#Mr. Bennet’s gifts are so extraordinary—the wit. the insight into human nature. honestly the capacity for wisdom #but he likes his library. he likes enjoying himself more than he likes doing his duty #as either a father or a husband #he does fail Mrs. Bennet! I have compassion for her there #anyway I love to think about this: something no version I have ever seen has ever fully explored #but man is it on the page #yeah yeah sorry for all the words. teacher off duty etc.

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quibbs126 · 1 month ago

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So I decided to work on some more designs more characters in my AU starting yesterday, this being Megatronus/The Fallen and then Liege Maximo

They’ve already been here in the lore, they just didn’t have designs

I’m also not 100% on either of these designs, not just from a detail perspective, but overall. Like I wanted Megatronus to be purple, and have his head more resemble his canon designs in his Fallen state, but he really ends up just looking more like Galvatron. Like yes, he is supposed to look like Megatron, but maybe it’s too much. Or maybe I need to design Galvatron in this AU too, because he’s kind of also here (the Decepticon leader)

And with Liege, he’s predominantly based on his IDW appearance, with a couple other things, but his role is supposed to be semi-closer to his original role, and he’s a threat larger than a mere trickster. I guess when you’re a combination of official designs and most of those designs are twinks, you’ll end up a twink too, but still. Maybe he needs beefing up

And like I said, the helms. Megatronus’ looks too similar to Megatron or Galvatron I think (though the issue is again that I want to save his Fallen head for when he is The Fallen, and the heads that aren’t resemble the Decepticon logo, which he isn’t nearly as tied to here). And then Liege, I just don’t know if it looks good, it took a fair bit of tries and I’m still unsure

They aren’t horrible I don’t think (though I need to figure out the triangle shoulder anatomy), but they might need more work. I don’t know, tell me what you think about these designs

Oh and also, the Fallen design at the bottom. I meant to go full in with it, but I really don’t know how to design what I want, I’m not skilled enough. So he is left as sketch, because lining that would have been a mess as is

But a lot of his design comes from Trio/Evil Robot from Mega Man 8, since he really captures that vibe I want. I just don’t know how to use it right

I don’t know, hopefully I’ll figure something out eventually. I have to work more on breaking out of this standardization of the designs

Anyways, lore time for these guys. I think I’m gonna put it under a cut this time since I know I text wall a bit too much, we’ll see if it sticks

Okay, so starting off, I should probably mention that these two are not in the current day story, they lived and died centuries prior, and it’s been even longer since Megatronus looked like that, but they’re relevant to the lore, specifically Megatron

So starting with Megatronus, he was some sort of gladiator revolutionary, wanting a better Cybertron than the corrupt one he had lived in. I don’t really know the details of what he was fighting against, but basically he has like a modern Megs’ backstory, I’d say closest to IDW (that I know of), since this AU’s Megatron doesn’t. He was incredibly powerful, even trading out one of his arms for a powerful arm cannon to be better suited for battle (in this time weapons weren’t retractable, unlike the current day. Megatron’s arm follows the old rule for reasons and he doesn’t want people poking around his circuitry), and there was seemingly no foe he could not best

But despite what his gladiator reputation might lead you to believe, he was also a great intellectual as well, writing many poems and treatises that are still read and appreciated in the modern day (he did not trade out his writing hand). Not only this, but he was an incredibly empathetic and kind bot to those he fought for, saving his anger only for the corrupt leaders who deserved it

Unfortunately one day, the Mighty Megatronus simply disappeared, with no knowledge as to what had happened. Some assumed he died in glorious battle, some simply believed his rebellion against the ruling class finally caught up to him, some believed he may have gone into hiding, either from exile or because he had given up the cause. But regardless, without him there, the cause he strove for slowed somewhat, but his teachings and ideals remained, and eventually, the better, equal Cybertron he sought was attained. And while he did not lead the final charges to cause this, his influence on the revolution led to him still being remembered as an influential and respected figure

Sorry it’s a little vague, I really don’t know what specifically was the conflict Megatronus was fighting or what the corrupt Cybertron was about

But as for what actually happened to Megatronus? I don’t have the who yet, but someone managed to get the drop on Megatronus and capture him, and “punish” him for his actions. Megatronus was locked inside a massive armor, which ran with fire and would keep him perpetually burning, but never to the point of death, just eternal pain. And it would eventually fuse to his plating, meaning that trying to simply pull him out of the armor would kill him instead. Not only this, but his voice box was broken to he point where he can no longer speak any coherent words, only make noises, and his voice was also taken away by removing his remaining hand and replacing it with a claw, so he could no longer write either, to communicate with others

He would be locked within eternal suffering, while never being able to relay to anyone who he was, or any thoughts at all, only able to look on as bots run horrified at the terrifying monster they saw, as he would be left as nothing more than the mindless, savage gladiator the ruling class claimed him to be, with no other name given to this creature than The Fallen

Basically his life becomes pain, both figuratively and literally

Like I said, I don’t know who did this to him or specifically why, so I don’t really know what he did after this, but I do know that he eventually ends up working for Liege Maximo, mostly unwillingly, but without the strength and nearly the spirit he once had; the old him would have rather died than take any part in Liege’s schemes

So now let’s talk about Liege Maximo. While I don’t know what he is exactly, whether a warrior or a scientist (though I think he has to be able to do both), he’s definitely evil, and probably tried to either conquer or destroy Cybertron in the past

He also just so happens to be Megatron’s creator, as well as the creator of the Destron Virus that later created the Decepticons. And as for Megatronus’ involvement, Megatron was made in his image

Liege’s backstory is even more undefined than Megatronus’, but he once tried to do something bad to Cybertron, but ended up failing and presumably dying in some huge, probably lore relevant event that I think Alpha Trion was there for. The Fallen also definitely dies here, but we’ll get to that later

Megatron and the Destron Virus were key players in his ultimate plan (whatever it was), whether they were the next large phase in his plan that never came to fruition, or they were a backup should the main plan fail. But regardless, Megatron wasn’t supposed to stay locked in stasis for as long as he was, he was supposed to wreak havoc centuries prior to the current story. The virus also wasn’t supposed to make him docile either, the smoking gun here, but either Liege wasn’t as good a scientist as he thought, or he didn’t have time to iron out the bugs. But in current day, the virus has been unleashed and the Decepticon leader is following in his footsteps

I should probably mention, in case I haven’t said, the Decepticon leader is meant to be like, Megatron’s clone or something. He’s somewhere between Galvatron and BW Megatron. The main reason I’m unsure of the clone thing is that he was supposed to be made because the original Megs went AWOL, and lacks the flaw that made the virus affect him the way it did, but the issue here is: how did the clone get made in the first place? He couldn’t have created himself and Megatron wouldn’t have done it, and Liege would already be long dead. That’s why I need to think on it more

But back to Liege, let’s talk about his relationship with The Fallen

I half want to call them toxic yaoi? It might be seen like that, considering they are on some level, basically Megs’ parents, and in my head Liege has some sort of obsession with Megatronus/The Fallen, so much so that he keeps him as his attack dog essentially, and based his piece de resistance almost entirely on the former gladiator. But also, Megatronus had no say in any of the events that led him to Liege or what he does under him, and he utterly despises him, he’s just unable to do anything about him. Like if there’s yaoi, it’s entirely one sided, and LM’s absolutely emotionally and probably on some level physically abusive in this relationship (maybe not directly, but like he can control how much pain Fallen’s in)

I’m unsure if Liege was the one to turn him into this, but he does pose a strong possibility, I just don’t know if I want to go that route, seeing as how Liege is entirely separate from the corruption stuff (well he probably isn’t, but he wouldn’t be someone Megatronus knew before as an enemy of his)

But regardless of whether or not he was involved, he is one of the only people that knows the truth that The Fallen and Megatronus are the same bot. I heard once in a fanfics that Liege can read minds, and while I have no clue whether or not that’s true, screw it, he has some level of telepathy here. So he can hear The Fallen’s thoughts, the only way he has left to communicate, if only to himself, and so he’d find out the truth eventually. As the years and isolation and suffering continue, The Fallen’s thoughts probably deteriorate more in terms of cohesion and intelligence, which Liege laments, but not because he feels bad for him, and he won’t do anything about it, he’s just disappointed. Liege tends to hold one sided conversations with The Fallen, at least to anyone else that sees them, since The Fallen can only communicate in his mind

But he does hold his knowledge of this over the Fallen’s head, specifically the idea that he holds the key to any form of salvation from his torment, of someone finally knowing who he was that isn’t Liege. Liege will never give this info away, not unless it was actually beneficial in some way, and on some level The Fallen knows this, but he chooses to still hold on to the potential hope this brings of being free from his prison

The Fallen despises the villainy that Liege forces him to do, but he feels he has no choice, whether it bring him salvation, or the sweet mercy of death, and it was the latter he eventually found

Originally I was going to have it that Prima was the one who killed The Fallen, back when he was companions with Alpha Trion in my lore, and somewhere along the way they’d eventually discover The Fallen’s true identity (it might have been a mercy kill), but now that Prima’s role in the story is completely different and much farther back, I don’t think it was him anymore. But I do still think Alpha Trion knows his true identity, I’m just not entirely sure as to how. He also didn’t make this public knowledge, probably because of how Megatronus was remembered and how The Fallen was perceived in his time, as a force of pure evil, and that this wasn’t something that should stain the legacy of the great hero, especially when he himself never wanted it and knew nothing but pain from it

The Fallen was also aware of Megatron and Liege creating him, and while disturbed by the likeness to his former self, had no way to stop Liege from doing so. As for The Fallen/Megatronus’ views on Megatron himself? It depends on how articulate this version of him looking at this modern incarnation is, and when in his lifetime. Though it probably doesn’t really matter

Megatronus despises the evil he was created for and the destructive, violent nature Liege created him with, mixed with extreme disturbance at how similar Megatron looks to him. But he also knows that Megatron did not ask for any of this, it was his creator that intended him to be this way, and can’t really blame him. In the time before his death, he would have had mixed feelings on Megatron, but if he were to have lived, he would have tried to make sure Megatron could have had some amount of a decent life, and not be terminated before he ever comes online to prevent whatever plans Liege had, with the hopes that he could overcome what Liege had wanted him to be and there was some goodness in him. If he were to meet modern day Megatron? He would be absolutely delighted that the virus backfired on him so bad and gave him complete free will and compassion, and probably be extremely supportive of the bot he is now, trying to make up for his past, even if he doesn’t know the half of how significant it is to the current situation. Keeping a crucial secret from his team? Not the best decision, but it’s understandable why he doesn’t and goddamnit he’s trying at least. Pre-Fallen Megatronus would probably get along well with Megatron, though maybe be a bit more critical of his secret keeping, and wouldn’t have any of the prior context as to his situation. Also no clue why this other bot looks so similar to him and even has a name a mere 2 letters off, he’d probably question that, but Megatron wouldn’t have the answer to that either

And I think that about wraps up all the infodumping on these two? I don’t know, I have a lot to say on Megatronus

As for how they tie into the current story, Liege’s schemes are the basis for the Decepticon’s ultimate goal, but I don’t entirely know about Megatronus, outside of his connection/similarities to Megatron. I’ll have to work on that

But yeah, I think that’s about it for now. Now for sleep time

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