#anyway.. enough analysis (i’m still analysing in my brain)

[xoxo-ren-xoxo]

Tommy’s (and Tubbo’s) Character /rp /dSMP

This is a bit of a rant so like be warned. I have nothing against any CCs mentioned in this, this is all roleplay, lighthearted, and just a bit of fun analysis. Mostly this is a ramble about how I see certain people analysing Tommy’s character on tumblr and twt, and why I think they’re wrong. This isn’t directed at anyone specific, just a trend I’ve been seeing that kinda irks me. I don’t dislike the fandom, just a few ‘takes’ have been really weird for me.

TW for everything below: analysing the effects of trauma, abuse, manipulation, gaslighting, and lack of therapy.

I’m not really liking how victim-blamey everyone is getting currently in the dSMP, both in fandom and canon. In canon with certain characters but especially in fan analysis posts and especially about Tommy and Tubbo. People legitimately celebrating that Tommy might start ‘apologising’ for his actions more and 'growing as a person' somehow don’t realise that hes been made this way through a tonne of negative reinforcement. abuse, and gaslighting. And people blaming Tubbo for actions he had no choice in, rather than the actions he did choose.

Currently, as I see it, Tommy is so scared that anyone would find a reason to be pissed off at him that his fighting spirit has been completely crushed. He was exiled and abused when he should have been helped and given an understanding figure to guide him and teach him how to deal with things non-violently. In everyone’s eyes, the problem was that Tommy was creating violence with no real reason, acting recklessly and commiting crimes. Tubbo, having made him a part of his cabinet, knew that this would only harm the country. So instead of talking to him reasonably, he got angry, put him on trial, and punished him with the logbook (humiliating him by making him report back to Fundy, which he obviously hated). Tommy’s actions were, of course, bad, but did he deserve everyone ganging up on him? No. Especially when Tubbo was supposed to be in his corner, helping him out like he always said he would (”It’s me and you vs Dream” etc). This is the first betrayal of trust from Tommy’s POV. He doesn’t understand what he did wrong to its full extent, and no one can explain it to him. 

However, Tubbo was under a lot of pressure from Dream and George, and he’s a literal child President, so his ‘safety over friendship’ actions are understandable. I don’t believe Tubbo is solely to blame for anything he’s done in season 2, but it can’t all be excused. If you are to blame Tommy for his recklessness, you have to blame Tubbo, at least partially, for his disregard for Tommy’s feelings and mental state. There were other ways to go about the entire thing, including the trial, which was just horrible to watch, and agreeing to give Dream the disc, something Tommy gave him in pure confidence that it would be safe with Tubbo. Yikes moment.

At that time, Tubbo knew a lot of things about Tommy. In fact, he probably knew the most about Tommy out of anyone on the server. He knew the discs were incredibly important and a comfort item for Tommy. He knew Tommy had trauma from being exiled in the past. He knew Tommy was abused, or at least manipulated by Wilbur, in addition to growing up in war. Wilbur once told Tommy to stop being reckless, and Tommy listened, changing his attitude because he looked up to Wilbur so much. Then Wilbur said ‘let’s be the bad guys’ and stopped trying to mentor Tommy. There’s a conflict here, because Tommy was told by Wilbur that he wasn’t good enough to be President (links to the idea of ‘not being strong enough’) but he knows that Wilbur was a bad person. But Tommy is never given the chance to reconsile his feelings surrounding Wilbur, both because of Ghostbur and because of the conflict he starts with George. So he is harbouring a mixture of emotions about his mentor and brother, not understanding how to untangle the ‘real Tommy’ from the manipulated boy he became. 

What was going through his head when he stole from George and griefed him? Perhaps the thought that he needed to show he was still the same old Tommy. Maybe the need to ‘prove himself’ as a strong person? It could have just been an outlet for his trauma. He’s grown up in a world where everyone is either a friend or an enemy. George isn’t a friend. How was he supposed to know that hurting him was bad?

Tubbo was pressured into the actions he took against Tommy, but he was pressured far too easily. There is no moment where Tubbo turns to Tommy and makes sure he’s okay, he views him as ‘selfish’ and overdramatic, and sees his actions that way. This makes sense from Tubbo’s POV, he’s struggling to be President in ways that Wilbur *knew* he would, but in Tommy’s eyes this is the worst betrayal he’s ever known. The moment Tubbo (rightfully, but poorly executed) defies Tommy’s plan to hire Technoblade (ahem, seeing Techno as a weapon again) and exiles Tommy is the moment their friendship shatters. They’re two people who don’t understand each other anymore. Two people who are technically in the right, but only hurt each other. 

What Tommy needed was a therapist, instead he had Dream, who put out the fire of rebellion that made him so strong, and Techno, who was trying to help but doing it in the wrong way. 

People see tommy's change post-exile as a good thing because he's not as rebellious anymore and he’s thinking things through a lot before he does them, but they will soon realise that his rebellion was one of his best traits and the fact that no one saw it as anything but a problem really shows. He now second-guesses himself so much and is so scared of being wrong that everything seems too difficult and too dangerous. Every trait can have a positive and negative side. Tommy's defiant nature would have made him the perfect negotiator with a little practise. In fact, he had plenty of good ideas before he was exiled (using spirit against Dream, though it didnt work in the end, for example). The negative side of this was recklessness and the desire to cause problems on purpose, but what he needed was a friend (looking at you Tubbo) who understood that hes been through several wars, was manipulated by Wilbur, and hasnt known a time of peace where everyone who wasnt on his side was out to kill him. Now that ‘fight’ is gone he's just become easier to manipulate.

He may be getting better (see: telling Dream to go fuck himself) but there hasn't been any long-term growth because he was never told what kind of rebellion was good and what was bad. He was just told it was all bad. By Dream (and by Tubbo). Who he doesn't trust. So he's just going to revert back to his old ways because no one told him what was bad in a way that didn't make him feel like everyone was against him. Dream is the enemy (though Tommy’s feelings towards him are complicated, they make his brain go all ‘flippy floppy’) and Dream told him that rebellion was bad, so rebellion must be good always, right? 

And then there's Techno. Techno did nothing wrong except for when he did. Techno is 100% right except for when he isn’t. He doesn't understand Tommy because Tommy was never fully open about what Dream had done and how it affected him. That's not Tommys fault though, because who the fuck openly talks about their trauma? So neither of them are to blame for pretty much anything up until the confrontation at the community house. 

However, Techno's methods and ideology were not what Tommy needed. He was thrown from one extreme to another over and over again, from complete subservience to total rebellion. Neither of these inforce good attitudes in Tommy. One, as stated before, makes it so that he will regain his negative traits again. The other reinforces those violent traits as good, just like Wilbur did. The only difference is that Techno had good intentions, he wasnt trying to use Tommy, which is why he feels so used when Tommy 'betrays' him (Techno doesnt realise that he himself betrayed Tommy by teaming with Dream, he sees it more as a transaction than a personal thing). Techno feels so hurt by Tommy ‘viewing him as a weapon’ that he goes on with his no-mercy attack, completely dropping Tommy at his lowest point. 

Tommy says he doesn't want to be like everyone he's hated. In fact, he say's he is 'worse' than all the villains. This is very obviously untrue, though he was clearly going down a dangerous path with Techno's influence (see: bullying Fundy, spawning wither, kidnapping Connor, and saying that the discs are more important than Tubbo, more on that later). He's not a villain but who exactly has said he's not a villain. Dream? Techno? Neither of them can be trusted in his eyes. They say he's a good guy, Wilbur wanted to be the bad guy, who's right? He doesn't know. He has a crisis of morality. 

And? Some people want to point at that and say 'aha! Character development! He's finally realising his actions have a negative affect on others!' OH GOD NO??? He's a *child* who thinks that he is worse than his abuser. Does that sound like positive character growth to you? 

Lastly, the discs. We know theyre a comfort item blahblahblah. He hates himself for valuing them more than he values Tubbo. He's literally innocent in this. He’s been horribly manipulated by Dream to believe that the discs are worth anything. Theyre really not worth anything if they are being used as tools rather than, yknow, discs. My poor boy. He doesnt trust people, so what can he trust? The discs. But then he says it out loud and realises he misses Tubbo and he wants to be with his best friend again and and and WAHHHH. This also isnt really character growth its just fucking sad leave me alone. 

Anyways what the fuck guys. @ Niki and Jack what the fuck. Yeah we get it it’s miscommunication but wtf. Kinda worried that the actual lore will make Niki and Jack’s hatred of Tommy justified in some way and take on a big victim-blamey vibe, but I’m hoping that everyone is smart enough to not do that. I cannot praise Tommy enough for how he’s portrayed his character. I’m currently hoping that he himself understands the true complexity of it all. I’m sure he does.

Mostly though im actually pissed off at all the people praising tommy's character for 'maturing' when hes literally just got trauma. Nice one, tumblr and twt users. Thanks. Great job. He hasnt 'learnt his lesson', he’s traumatised. What the fuck.

Thanks for coming to my TED talk, leave your responses in the reblogs and comments.

[selfships-in-spanish]

Idk random thought but I think it would be cute/hot if canon!verse connor and ona where at home watching a movie and it ended up with them getting handsy with one another. Like, they're snuggled up under blankets and roaming hands lead to some fun times (like some finger fucking/handjob etc.).

Anon I am DEEPLY SORRY for how long it took, but between the creative rut I was in, the months I worked and such... I just had no time and words didn’t want to come to me. 

But I really hope you’re still around and that you enjoy this 6683 word smutty one-shot!

A bazillion thanks to @tinmiss1939 for helping me out with English and ideas when my brain decided to not cooperate <3

Warnings: smut! They get touchy 👀

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Saturday nights ended up being movie nights with Ona’s cozy blanket that her grandmother knit her as a Christmas present. She didn’t want her favourite grandchild being cold in the States, knowing Ona was used to her precious Mediterranean weather. Connor ended up snogging most of the blanket, even if it was big enough for two adults and had wool to spare. 

Ona made sure Connor was familiarised with the classics, checking out the long list of movies she wanted Connor to see, and Ona would also make popcorn and prepare thririum-sodas for Connor so he could enjoy The Experience. Connor was grateful for her efforts and felt her enthusiasm transmit to him too. He kind of regretted watching Terminator 2 because she kept asking him to repeat some lines, but he secretly looked for leather jackets. T-800 was… cool. 

Ona finished the popcorn, setting the bowl on the table next to their soda glasses. She was currently staring at the screen, quite invested in how Yoda trained Luke Skywalker on Dagobah. Connor ventured a look at her, eyes zeroing on her lips absently wrapping around her popcorn-salty fingers. He wondered how her tongue would feel on his own fingers, the texture, the heat. A notification appeared on his HUD, warning him about a slight rise in his core temperature. Connor ignored it. 

Connor decided a distraction from those thoughts would be good, and he went to reach for his own thirium-soda, keeping his eyes on the TV screen. Ona reached to the paper napkins she put there previously, wiping the remaining of the salt and saliva out of her fingers. Once done, she threw the crumpled paper napkin inside the popcorn bowl and rearranged herself on the sofa to find a comfortable position, which ended being by her leaning slightly into Connor. The poor android suppressed embarrassing noises at the fact that Ona was slightly touching his arm with hers. He couldn’t wait to actually feel her in his arms, some day. 

They kept their positions for a while, Connor not daring to move a single centimetre in case Ona realised her proximity and put some distance between them. But rA9, how he wanted to move to—

Ona leaned her head on his shoulder, sighing contentedly. 

Connor wanted to scream. 

His olfactory sensors could pick up traces from her fruity shampoo and the pressure and heat sensors from his shoulder could feel the warmth from her cheeks and the comfortable weight of her head. Some stray curls tickled his neck. 

Connor wanted to scream. A lot. 

He stayed perfectly still, his breathing program stuttering slightly. Did she know what this meant? To him? Did she know how he longed to feel her against him and to be able to freely touch her? Touch her soft, snow white curls? Connor ignored the movie completely (not that Ona will ever know, he could download it and watch it anytime, as well as film analysis and data in case she wanted to discuss the plot and story points), focusing his attention on this tiny human that managed to make her way into his pump, unknowing of the depth she managed. 

He wanted to lean his head against hers too, he wanted to wrap his arm around her waist and tug her closer to him, he wanted to feel her entire weight on him, he wanted—

Ona nuzzled her head against Connor’s shoulder, shifting to make herself more comfortable. Connor was this close to make shutdown noises. 

Connor tried to analyse this situation: Ona was not uncomfortable with his presence, she was in fact seeking contact, and she was quite prone to seek human touch. She was a hugger, she liked holding his hand whenever she dragged him somewhere or would poke Hank’s chest when she teased him, sometimes even managing to convince Hank into letting her tie his hair in a ponytail. So, it wasn’t new she liked to touch her friends and people she was comfortable with, but the fact that she was touching him… he would never get used to it, or at least anytime soon. 

“Am I too heavy?”

Her voice pulled him out of his thoughts, slightly lifting her head to turn around just enough to face Connor. RA9, she was beautiful. 

“You are not, detective. My pressure plates and carbon fibre chassis can endure heavy weights and— what?” Ona was smiling at him, fondly, and with an amused spark in her eyes. Connor could get lost in her olive-green gaze. 

“You said detective,” Ona began, a teasing edge in her voice. “We are not in the precinct. Do I have to pull a Hank on you?” Hank was very loud about how he didn’t want to be called Lieutenant every single time his friend, because he wasn’t ready for son yet, talked to him. And Ona wasn’t shy to make herself heard either. 

“That will not be necessary, Miss Boix.” Ona raised a brow. “Ona.”

“That’s better. I like the way you say my name.” Ona got on her previous position, leaning her head on his shoulder again. Connor was too stunned to reply, having her words in a loop. What the hell does he reply to that?

Connor kept staring at the screen without really seeing anything. Half of his HUD was occupied with error notifications and temperature increases, as well as his pump regulator accelerating. The other half was occupied with romantic manoeuvres and tips he could execute to take a further step in their relationship. He decided to try one of the most used and well reviewed tactics: the arm stretching behind the couch. 

On the count of three, because he needed a mental kick from himself to move, Connor slowly nudged his shoulder, making Ona hum. She lifted her head, and Connor almost regretted moving because it meant she was no longer touching him, wasn’t letting her soft cheek press against his perfectly ironed shirt and— but it was for a good reason, he told himself. Connor lifted his arm, trying to ignore Ona’s questioning look, and made as if he stretched it as humans do after having a limb locked on a particular position for too long. 

“You should have told me you were uncomfortable, bobo.” Ona mumbled, shifting into a new position. 

“No!” Ona looked back at him, startled at his outburst. Connor mentally kicked himself. “No, uh. I’m okay. I, uh…” Ona frowned, Connor didn’t stutter. The android decided to finish executing his move. Carefully, he let his arm fall and curl on Ona’s shoulder, making her head rest on it. “I thought you would be more comfortable like this.”

He made it. Connor made it. He executed it perfectly, as expected from an android. 

Ona smiled, an “awww” escaping her lips, being touched by Connor’s concern. She snuggled further, pulling the blanket up and making a cocoon with both of them inside. One of her hands rested on his chest. 

Connor was a wreck. 

For Connor, Ona felt as if she fit right there, in his arms, as if he had been perfectly designed to fit her body. It was a silly thought, but it made Connor giddy. Ona was warm, she was a comfortable weight against his own body, and he quite liked the feeling of it. He could get used to it.

Both human and android resumed watching the sci-fi classic, Connor still processing what just happened. Deviancy was new, deviancy was scary, but with Ona, Hank and the Jericho crew next to him, it was a less frightening journey. Deep in his thoughts, Connor didn’t notice a slight tugging at his tie. Looking down, he saw Ona’s hand tugging at it with a displeased frown.

“Aren’t you suffocating with this?” Connor looked at the perfectly made windsor knot, apparently offending Ona’s standards of ‘comfy movie night’.

“I can’t suffocate–”

“Shush, you know what I mean!” Ona teased him, flicking the silky end. “It looks a little bit constricting for a pajama-ish movie night, don’t you think?” Connor considered her reasoning and she surely had more experience in such matters than him, anyways. Maybe he should listen for once. “C’mon, loosen up a bit! You can relax here.” Connor was the opposite of relaxed, having her so close and being so carefree with her touch. But, maybe he should really give it a shot.

“Well, I suppose I could... try.” 

Ona grinned, not caring to hide how pleased she was that Connor both listened to her and tried to loosen up as she suggested. The twinkle in her eyes spurred Connor into action. He sat up, efficiently undoing the knot. The android folded the tie and left it on top of the table, Ona snorting at the mannerisms he couldn’t shake off. Feeling daring, Connor unbuttoned the top button of his shirt. He looked back at her in time to see her roll her eyes and slightly shake her head.

“No no no! That’s not loosening up! We are not in the Victorian period and you are not a victorian lady showing an ankle, bobo!” Ona sat up and inched closer to Connor, not giving him time to react when she grabbed his shirt and unbuttoned a few more buttons, pleased at the hint of a collarbone. Connor’s pump rhythm skyrocketed. “There, much better!”

Connor could count every tiny freckle on her skin, being as close as she was, and he could also see the hint of gold in her beautiful olive green eyes. He wanted to say thank you, but got lost in her gaze. 

Ona patted his chest, smiling once more before shifting into her previous position, but this time much closer with her head propped up fully on his shoulder and her hand resting on his clothed chest. Her weight was comfortable, he liked it, and unconsciously he let his arm fall once again and curl around her, pulling her slightly closer. Ona sighed contentedly, nuzzling her cheek against his shoulder.

They settled for a comfortable silence, enjoying the movie. Connor liked when Ona giggled at some parts of it, made tiny commentaries and got excited when her favourite scenes came on. He also liked how her curls tickled his now more exposed skin, whenever she laughed or shifted, and the warm weight of her hand on his chest. Connor had to force his artificial breathing program to not stutter or become erratic; she could not suspect of her effect on him in case she moved away at the knowledge of it. Connor thought it was selfish of him, and felt guilty of it, but he really wanted to be a bit selfish sometimes, as both Ona and Hank suggested more than once.

His pressure sensors detected a soft caress on his clothed chest. Connor ventured a look and found Ona still looking attentively at the screen, as if her thumb wasn’t mindlessly brushing Connor’s chest. Connor concentrated on the feel of it, letting himself bask in the glory of her touch. He knew what this kind of gesture meant, Connor did an extensive research on affectionate touches and their meanings, so he really allowed himself to chase that fleeting thought that maybe, just maybe, Ona wanted more.

Ona shifted again, getting more comfortable on Connor’s shoulder, and her hand didn’t move from its spot or cease its movement. In fact, it slipped slightly forward, inching near the open shirt. Connor was very aware of the spare centimetres between his naked synthskin and Ona’s hand. She kept caressing his chest with her thumb and Connor didn’t dare to move. Until his sensors picked up the movement and slight pressure of her hand moving forward. 

Connor was never prepared for the feel of her fingers on his chest, warm human skin against his synthskin. He wouldn’t know how to describe it, how wonderful and exhilarating it was, how eager it made him for more. Ona kept brushing her fingers against his chest, appearing completely oblivious of it. His hand unconsciously twitched on her shoulder, as if looking for an outlet to release everything he was bottling up in a false sense of calmness. Connor didn’t know how to proceed; all this was new, the whole world was brand new after deviating and Ona made him feel things he didn’t know the name yet.

But he liked those things. 

Ona was a comfortable weight, and he absolutely loved the tingling feeling her fingers left when they lifted off his skin. It sent the android equivalent of “shivers” down his spine, to every connector, every nook of his body. He wanted more.

A snort escaped Ona’s lips. Connor registered that a funny line happened in the movie, but he completely ignored it in favor of saving in a special folder, that he will never say it is labeled as Ona or that he has it, every stroke of her hand, every curl tickling his skin and adding more input to his already overloaded connectors and sensors.

Ona’s hand ventured its way up, leaving tiny sparks of electrical fire on her trail. Her fingers brushed Connor’s collarbone, softly, as if Ona didn’t want to spook Connor with her boldness. Connor had to bite back a noise he didn’t know he was capable of doing, the sensation of her touch melting him right where he was. But it felt good, so good, to be touched like this. Connor unconsciously bit his lip.

Connor didn’t see the glint in Ona’s eyes. In another situation, like catching a perp, Connor would know that glint meant Ona was determined and even dangerous; once she put her attention on something, she would chase it off like a lioness. Right now, Connor was her prey.

Ona shifted once again, her fingers leaving a trail up his neck. Her fingernails lightly scraped Connor’s synthskin, as if on accident, and he couldn’t help the little gasp that escaped his lips. He was too focused on the pleasant feeling of her touch to notice her leaning into him. Connor would never, ever, be ready for the exhilarating feel of her soft lips kissing his neck so tenderly. His hand squeezed Ona’s shoulder, wanting to melt right there as she kept peppering Connor’s synthskin with tiny butterfly kisses. He was so scared to move, to do something wrong and probably tear Ona from this haze. When her lips brushed his jawline Connor let out a breathy pant.

Connor’s HUD was suddenly invaded by warnings and alerts, programs initiating that he was not aware he had them installed. His temperature was rising and pop-ups kept coming. It was more than obvious that Ona had other plans in mind than watch a movie. Is this what humans really meant with the “Netflix and chill” saying, used a long time ago? But more importantly, Ona wanted to do… intimate things, with him? She didn’t mind he was not human? Given the enthusiasm, no, she didn’t mind at all.

Ona tugged slightly aside the collar of Connor’s shirt, giving her more room and more of Connor’s synthskin to kiss. She couldn’t resist temptation and lightly nibbled where his neck met his shoulder. 

“Ah!” Connor arched his back, closing his eyes at the onslaught of sensations running through his very wires. Ona unglued herself from his body, making Connor want to whine at the lack of her warmth and weight against his body. 

“Shit, sorry.” Ona’s voice seemed panicked for a moment. “Fuck. Joder. Did I hurt you? Are you okay?” 

Connor opened his eyes and tried to focus on her lovely, very flushed face. Her pupils were blown out, almost eating her beautiful green irises, and her lips were redder than usual, something Connor would never get tired from looking at. 

“I went too far, didn’t I?” Ona covered her face in shame with her hands, groaning. 

He wanted to say so much, but even if he had 300 languages at his disposal, Connor was unable to find the words he needed to express himself with.

“I…” could he convey what he felt through his eyes? Would Ona catch the need in them?

“Do you... do you want to go or...?” Guess not. Ona sat back, twisting one of her curls on her finger, something Connor noticed she did when she was nervous. Connor closed his eyes, frustrated. 

This was the chance he wanted after all this time of pining after the tiny human detective that made his pump skip its perfect rhythm.

It was now or never. Connor turned to face her, nervous. He lifted his hands and felt his fingers twitch, as if they exactly knew the meaning behind his intentions. Connor made Ona turn her head to face him, holding her in place. For once, Connor stopped thinking and decided to let his heart act. 

Connor crashed his lips against hers. 

Ona let out a surprised noise, but was happy she didn’t scare Connor off, and let him do as he wanted. His lips were soft, and somehow Ona expected them to be a bit more stiff and cold, but they felt like they belonged there, with hers, warm and pliant. She let Connor take his time, have his sweet first kiss at his pace and liking, chaste and innocent, but even if she wanted to be there like this for the rest of her life, she needed to breathe. 

Breathing through her nose made Connor remember that humans needed oxygen, and that he was depriving his precious detective of it. Embarrassed, Connor parted from her lips with a million sorry’s ready to spill from his own, chastiting himself for not thinking about it. See? This is what happens when he doesn’t think, and now Ona–

Connor found his thoughts halted once again when Ona kissed him back, crawling on his lap to have a better angle. She let her weight rest on him, liking how well her body fit with his. Connor let his hands rest on her waist, not knowing where to put them exactly. Since his mind was occupied right now, he let them wander as they liked. Ona didn’t mind one bit. 

Wanting more, Ona lightly bit Connor’s bottom lip to make him gasp at the feeling and open his mouth. She took that opportunity to deepen the kiss, letting her tongue touch Connor’s as she wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him flush with her body. Ona was careful, slow, letting Connor get used to it, verging on sweet. Connor didn’t know if it was in some code ingrained deep in him, or the salty taste of her tongue due to the popcorn she ate before, but it felt divine. 

Thinking about the extensive research Connor did, preparing himself for the day this exact moment happened, he decided to put in motion one of the things he saw and read about. One of his hands went to cup the back of her head, tangling his fingers in her white curls. The other one wrapped itself around her, securing the manoeuvre. He read about the intimacy of kisses, of bodies touching, tongues dancing with each other and the sweet noises that fueled the passion. He also watched videos trying to educate himself on the matter and thinking about him and the detective in such situations, going as far as having reconstructions in his mind that rendered him a blushing mess and his LED a permanent red. He wanted it. He wanted it so much. Nothing he watched compared to the reality of this moment. 

Adding a little bit of pressure, Connor made Ona turn her head more to the side so he could properly deepen the kiss. Ona’s muffled moan made his core temperature rise, and he inhaled fresh air to try to cool his body. His other hand descended from her back, brushing the hem of her sweatpants, and let it rest on her buttock. Connor unconsciously squeezed it, making Ona arch into him and gasp in between sloppy kisses. Ona made a mess of Connor’s neatly styled hair, and honestly he couldn’t give a damn about it. 

Connor felt a change in Ona’s movements, and he frowned, not pleased at having to stop. 

“Wait— Conn— Hmpf!“ Ona abruptly tried to stop the kiss, untangling herself from him and trying to mumble words in between kisses. Connor chased her lips until he felt her fingers stop him. 

Connor felt like ice-cold water fell on him, freezing the poor android on the spot. Did he misread the situation? Did Ona not want this anymore? Did he go too far? Did he—?

“Wait. Connor,” Ona took a deep breath to gather her wits. This had been amazing and she needed more, but she needed to ask him something first. “Wait— no, don’t give me that look, let me explain. I… You did nothing wrong, if that’s what you are asking yourself, quite the contrary. I loved this, I longed for this, but I want to know if you want it too.”

“If I want it too? Kissing you back hasn’t proved it enough to—” Connor didn’t understand. He liked her, he kissed her, maybe he didn’t do it enough to prove his point?

“I don’t want to force anything on you, Connor! I want you to want this as much as I do, but I don’t want to force you or coerce you into wanting this. I don’t want to screw it up. I really, really like you. And I really want to know if you want this—“

Connor reached for her hands, squeezing them in his. 

“You really don’t know how many times I dreamed of this, of you. I always wondered how your lips would feel, or your touch.” Connor felt daring and bold. This was his chance. “I want you, Ona. I want this. And if we don’t go back to this wonderful human thing called kissing, I’ll—“

Ona let out a relieved laugh. Connor tugged her back to him, urged Ona to sit on his lap as she was doing before. Connor held her face in his hands, touching his forehead with hers. 

“This whole... deviant thing is new and scary. Feelings are scary, but… I want to explore them with you. Good and bad.” Connor’s voice was low and soft, as if he didn’t want to break their little bubble.

“Then… let’s take it slow.” 

Ona pressed her lips against Connor’s again, softly, letting the sweetness of the moment dictate the pace they wanted to follow. The movie kept playing in the background, completely forgotten.

Connor let his hands descend Ona’s body, as if he was mapping once again her figure, trying to save it in his memory forever. It always mesmerised Connor how soft and squishy humans could be, and he let himself squeeze his hands against her flesh once again, relishing the thrilling sensation of having his hands so full.

That elicited a low moan from Ona, who in return slowly rocked her hips against Connor’s. The android let out a groan himself, getting a hold of her hips and pushing her down against him again. It felt so good, the pressure sending sparks all over his body, and he couldn't wait to learn more about this wonderful human thing called makeouts. Connor wasn’t stupid, he did his research and he knew humans and sex had a tight relationship, although it wouldn’t be good to generalise since what made humans so unique and beautiful, was the diversity in their race. But still, he wanted to explore it with Ona if she wanted to, and right now he couldn’t be thanking RA9 more than he was right now for letting this happen.

Ona felt like taking things up a notch, and she loved the reaction she got out of Connor the first time –despite her momentum of panic–, so she broke the kiss to brush her lips against his jaw, nuzzling her nose against his neck. Ona felt Connor’s artificial breath stutter in its impeccable rhythm, and was delighted to see how Connor bared his neck to her. Ona wasted no time, peppering the exposed synthskin with slow and wet kisses, while she kept grinding her hips against him. Feeling his excitement only fueled her own more. 

Her hands busied themselves with the remaining buttons of Connor’s shirt, impatient to have his chest and torso fully exposed for her to see and touch. Having the always impeccably dressed android under her, all sense of decorum and propriety gone, gave Ona a rush nothing else could give her. Ona bit her lip once her work was done and could gaze at her prize. He was delightful, beautiful, truly a work of art. Connor’s flushed cheeks and red, shiny lips made her feel herself clench, desperate to have something fill her.

Connor’s irises were engulfed by his pupils, lust coating them, and Ona marveled at how expressive his eyes were. Connor had always been a quick learner, though, and he could see how much Ona needed to be touched right now. His hands reached the hem of her sweatpants again, and this time he didn’t pass the opportunity to get his hands inside them, feeling the soft fabric of her underwear slid under his fingertips. It was Ona’s turn to close her eyes and let out a shaky exhale, eager to see what Connor would do this time. A soft gasp escaped her lips when Connor got his hands inside her underwear too, feeling his fingers on her burning skin. He squeezed the flesh of her buttocks in his hands, feeling the fullness of it. Ona groaned, arching her back to give Connor more leverage. The android sat up while Ona was distracted, pulling her close to his body. Connor decided he wanted to do the same things Ona did to him, to make her feel as good as he did, and now that he had her neck in full display, he was going to take advantage of that.

Kissing her feverish skin was delicious, but Connor knew he was only adding more wood to the fire the moment he bit the juncture of her neck and shoulder, replicating her actions from before. The reaction was instantaneous: Ona’s moan echoed around her living room, her nails digging in Connor’s shoulders as she felt shivers run up and down her body. His tongue soothed the mark he left, kissing it as an apology, although the thought of her having a mark made by him excited Connor more than he expected. And by the looks of it, Ona didn’t mind much. Connor left a trail of kisses up her neck, reaching her jaw, and left another mark right under it.

“Ah!” Connor scored another win for himself, pleased at how the proud and self-assured detective was becoming putty in his hands. “You do not play fair, Connor. You already know one of my weak spots.” Her teasing tone made him smile, hiding it behind a kiss on her shoulder.

“I am the most advanced android detective, after all.” that made Ona laugh, leaning back to see the mirth in Connor’s eyes. His sense of humour improved greatly.

“Aren’t you a cocky android, hm?” Connor winked in response, which made Ona snort. She knew exactly how to wipe off that self-satisfied expression from Connor’s face. 

Connor knew that arched brow and mischievous smile meant trouble, but he was quite eager to find out what Ona was planning to do. She pushed him back on the sofa, his hands sliding out from under her clothes to end up getting a hold of her hips. Connor decided she looked absolutely stunning in her loose maroon t-shirt and slightly pushed down grey sweatpants. Her underwear was peeking out too, and the little visible piece of fabric made him swallow hard.

“Let’s see how cocky are you now, Mr.Detective.”

Ona’s hands descended from Connor’s shoulders to his chest, savoring the feeling of her fingertips grazing the perfectly designed muscles. Ona slowed down when she was close to his belt, teasing the belt loops, tugging them slightly. Connor’s breath hitched when her fingers skimmed over the belt buckle. His eyes were glued to her hands, watching as she undid the buckle and teased the button of his trousers. Connor let out a stuttered breath as Ona’s palm pressed against his zipper, pulled taut by his erection. 

Deciding she wanted to tease him a little bit more, Ona slipped her fingers inside Connor’s trousers, over his underwear, as he did to her before. Connor arched his back off the sofa, groaning at the feeling of Ona’s fingers grasping his clothed cock. Connor’s hands squeezed Ona’s hips, needing something to hold onto as he was blown away by the feeling of her fingers on him.

It felt amazing.

Ona took her hand out much to Connor’s dismay, a soft and breathy “no no no–” escaping his lips, followed by an “–oh” when he saw that Ona was undoing the button of his trousers and pulling the zipper down. 

“Up.” Connor got the message. He lifted his hips so Ona could push down his clothes just enough to free his aching erection from them.

Ona let out a soft moan at the sight of Connor’s cock in full display, rock hard against his belly. She felt herself clench, as if trying not to make more of a mess on her underwear as she was doing now. Ona wanted to do a lot of things right now. She wanted to push her own sweatpants and underwear down and ride him until he burned his vocal module from moaning, she wanted to get on her knees and pleasure him, feel his hands on her head as he guided her to how he liked it best, she wanted to–

They will have time to do all of that. For now, Ona wanted tonight to be for him, to discover what he liked, what it felt like. Ona looked up and was met with hungry and desperate eyes. Connor was on the verge of begging Ona to do anything, because judging by what he felt before, this was going to be even better.

Slowly, Ona trailed her finger from base to tip, pleased at the amount of wetness gathered at the head. Connor stuttered, not tearing his gaze from Ona’s own lustful ones until she did to look down again. He did the same, and the image he found would be forever stored in his memory bank, locked up in a special folder. She was smaller than him, he often marvelled at the difference between them and how her hands were shorter than his, for example, and in this exact moment he couldn’t be more delighted to see how said hand wrapped itself around his cock. He was not ready for when she moved. 

Connor cried out, throwing his head back on the sofa’s headrest. His sensors were going absolutely crazy. He felt as if fire was spreading all over his connections and he wanted more, so much more. Ona’s hand was covered in a sheer blue slick, the fluid helping her motions. The sound of it was downright sinful, and it only turned both human and android more.

Connor’s thirium pump was pounding in his chest, moaning and groaning, his interior fans fighting to keep the body temperature in check. It was getting harder as Ona started squeezing her hand when she reached the head of his cock, way more sensitive than the rest, and Connor’s hips involuntarily thrusted upwards when her other hand renewed her journey on his chest, making sure she traced his collarbone and neck.

One well placed tug made Connor keen, feeling light-headed, and unconsciously pulled Ona to his chest, wrapping his arms around her tightly. Her hand was trapped between them, but she never ceased her movements. Ona’s curls brushed Connor’s cheek, some strands being plastered over her forehead, and Connor could feel her rapid breaths tickling his ear. 

Connor, in a moment of clarity and feeling a tad bold, had an idea. He still doesn’t know how he managed to tear one of his hands apart from Ona’s body, but he had to make Ona feel as good as him. He was no stranger to human anatomy, and even less human genitalia, so he knew what he had to do in Ona’s case. He sneaked a hand inside the front of her sweatpants and underwear, feeling her smooth skin until he found her mound. Connor didn’t stop there, he kept going until his fingers brushed her soaked wet clit. Her hitched breath was music for his audio modules.

“Connor–!” Ona jolted, arching her back and gasping, melting his name into a moan. 

Connor decided, right in that moment, that his name never sounded so divine before. The sensors on his fingers picked up the generous amounts of wetness gathered in them, and Connor had the urge to taste it. But that was something for later, now he had more important matters in his hands. 

Recalling all the information he previously searched, Connor let his fingers be completely soaked in Ona’s juices, knowing it would make the glide smoother. Her folds were soft to his touch, velvety, and Connor loved the feel of it. Her heavy breaths and moans on his ear spurred him to keep going, to trace every inch of her sex, to tease her entrance with his finger pads. Connor’s other hand released his hold on Ona’s hip, moving it up to brush her nape and bury itself on her hair. Ona reacted to his touch, raising her head from Connor’s shoulder to took at him. Her lips were shining bright, reddened from worrying them with her teeth, and Connor felt the urge to kiss them again. 

So he did, swallowing Ona’s moan as Connor got his middle and ring finger inside her, feeling her walls pulse around him, burning. Ona had to stop pumping her hand, needing a moment to gather her wits as Connor moved his fingers in and out of her, his thumb finding Ona’s clit and rubbing it slowly, almost lazily, which drove Ona mad with pleasure. When Ona renewed her movements, gripping Connor’s cock harder, the android groaned and bit Ona’s bottom lip, getting his tongue inside as she did earlier. Connor felt a gush of slick tickle down his hand, and it only excited him more to know it was because of him.

Having his sensors overloaded continuously from the new and pleasurable sensations, Connor had a feeling this would crest soon. He was tempted to cut out the process of it so it would last longer, all night if possible, but he desperately needed to find his release. He felt like a spring fiercely recoiled, ready to snap at any given moment, and Ona’s tiny moans and gasps of his name as she rocked herself on his fingers only catapulted him into it. He had a feeling Ona was close too.

But oh, that felt so good. He doesn’t exactly know what Ona did, but it felt amazing, so Connor let himself be drowned in it, thrusting his hips up at the same time as Ona to pulled down her hand. He was close, so close, so–

“Ona, I’m– I think I’ll– Ah!”

Connor came all over Ona’s hand and his belly with a jerk of his hips, throwing his head back into the sofa as he let the shockwaves consume him whole. In the process, Connor unconsciously pulled on Ona’s hair, needing to grip onto something, and with a brush of his thumb on her clit Ona came right after him, blessing Connor with a mixture of spanish curse words and moans. Connor felt the tight grip on his fingers, her juices coating him even more, and the thought and feel alone made another glob of synthetic cum dribble over her.

Ona let her forehead rest on Connor’s one, panting and trying to regain her breath again. Connor mimicked her, trying to cool his body and helping his frenzied interior fans. When Ona opened her eyes, he found Connor gazing at her with such emotion behind his eyes that made Ona’s heart skip a beat. Connor’s hand was still on Ona’s back of the head, so in a moment where he just let himself follow his heart, Connor pulled Ona in for a sweet, slow kiss. When they parted, it was Ona’s time to gaze at Connor, wondering how beautiful he was right in that instant with his hair disheveled and a blush on his cheeks.

The ending fanfare of the movie credits made her trance break, noticing Connor’s sticky release in her hand beginning to cool. Ona released her hold on Connor’s cock, raising her hand to her face so she could inspect it closer. Connor sheepishly did the same, trying to ignore the squelching sound of his fingers getting out of her and how his own cock twitched in response. Connor knew he could stop the refractory period too, ready to go for another round until he ran out of thirium and had to enter into stasis, but he had a feeling Ona wouldn’t appreciate that. Instead, he inspected Ona’s own cum on his fingers, the fluid sticking to his fingers too. 

Connor swore he didn’t mean to, it was a completely unconscious decision, but he brought his fingers to his mouth, tasting her. A soft giggle made him look up, his cheeks burning out of shame.

“That is so… you.” Ona’s warm smile made Connor know she was not teasing him or angry. It was genuine. She made a conscious effort to inspect her own fingers, coated with the blueish fluid on them. Connor made a move to stop her, feeling suddenly embarrassed of it, but he wasn’t quick enough to stop her. Ona’s tongue peeked from her mouth, licking one finger. She hummed, followed by a snort when Connor’s voice module did an undignified noise at the sight of it. “I thought it would taste… plastic-ish. It’s actually not bad.”

“...Synthetic ejaculate can have different flavours, if desired.” Connor will never know what triggered that piece of information to appear on his HUD, and what made him say it, but Ona’s open-hearted laugh was worth it.

“Put a sweet, chocolate-ish flavour in, and you will have me all day on my knees and you know it.” Ona turned around just enough to grab tissues from the coffee table, wiping her hand clean, as if she had just commented on the weather. 

Connor was suddenly assaulted by reconstructions of what Ona just said, rendering him to a violently spinning red LED and his blush program glitching, making his cheeks reach a bluish glow. Ona hastily threw aside the used tissue, not caring where it went, when he noticed Connor’s state.

“Oh my God! Connor, are you okay?” Ona held Connor’s face in her hands, desperately searching for an answer in his eyes. Connor looked at her, his LED reverting back into yellow.

“There’s vanilla flavour, strawberry flavour, milk chocolate with caramel flavour–” Ona snorted, bumping her forehead with his.

“You oaf, I was worried!” Connor raised his brow as if questioning her. If he was being cocky again it meant he was okay and back to normal. Ona guilty looked to the side.“...milk chocolate with caramel.”

Connor smiled. Ona shook her head, smiling too, as she turned around again to pick up more tissues for Connor.

“Let’s clean you up.” Connor kept smiling, feeling dazed with happiness, as he let Ona do as she pleased. Once clean, Connor pushed and fastened his trousers and belt, as Ona mourningly buttoned his shirt.

Ona stood up once finished, her face twisting into a grimace as she felt the cold and sticky mess in her panties. She looked down, trying not to worsen it by moving too much.

“...And I need new underwear.”

Connor stood up with her, eagerness coating his movements and voice.

“Let me help you with that.”

[rollychan]

I think I might be coming back to tumblr (as in, become more active again)

Sorry to everyone following me recently only to find I just disappeared off the face of the earth (yes I like to be dramatic sometimes, what of it)

I am just a bit conflicted about moving forward in the Loki fandom right now. On the one hand, I'd love to get back into actual literary analysis again bc it's been ages since I last did that (for uni anyway) and it's fun, but on the other hand I dislike the Loki series enough not to want to rewatch it (it might come as no surprise that I am not planning on watching season 2). And the other Loki movies have already been analyzed to death. I might still go and rewatch the series regardless of my reservations. The thing is also that I'm also very interested in the worldbuilding and stuff other than Loki and from what I've seen most other people aren't interested in the things I am interested in, so the analyses I'm gonna do might bore you guys to tears lol

Decisions, decisions...

I'm currently also deep in TMA hell (though I'm procrastinating with season 5 because the season 4 ending killed me dead) and would probably like to do some literary analyses for that because some of it really is fascinating (I actually do like season 1 and 2 the most because those were more horror to me than the following seasons somehow, though I do like how everything clicks into place once you learn what it's all about - but it does sort of take away from the horror, if that makes sense? I guess it also has to do with the stakes increasing and I likes the season 1 stakes just fine)

And then I've also become addicted to Ark: Survival Evolved again so that game's been eating my time too. I've actually set up my very own server on my computer and it even works. I'm amazed. (even though I work in IT, everything that has to do with networks causes me headaches)

My brain has started to connect everything into fic ideas again, too, so that's actually a sign I'm getting back into the groove. I'm not planning on writing any of those ideas because really, an Ark/Loki crossover, brain? How would that even work??? (though it would be funny to see Loki with an army of titanoboas and basilisks lol or maybe that's just me and my... unique... sense of humor)

(and then there's also the funny little fic ideas I have for side characters of the Guild Hunter series that my gf @kael1030 made me read xD)

Anyway, this is sort of an update on what's up with me. Not an exhaustive one, but an update nonetheless.

If you guys haven't noticed from my blog already, it's a multifandom multipurpose mess and I'm sorry (a little)

[aerltarg]

2, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 26, 27 from ask game

2. Are there any popular fandom OTPs you only BroTP?

oh, it's actually hard to answer bc pretty often my otps can work as brotps for me as well. it also means that when i can't ship some characters they don't work for me as friends either. not to mention that in asoiaf i'm open to many ships, and if i'm not very passionate about some it's not a sign i can't see them in romantic light.

5. Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you?

may i say any sansa ship? 😭 as well as sansa herself lmao. idk generally i can't ship characters i don't like because i'm just not interested. and it's not to say i don't like book!sansa (show!sansa is another case 💀), i just don't find her arc as intriguing and epic as arcs of some other characters. however, it's absolutely her obnoxious fandom's fault that i don't want to touch anything about her now, pairings including. sansaery? pass. sansan? i used to have a soft spot for them in my heart but now? nah. sansa x anyone? pls have mercy, she's already a fandom bicycle.

and jonsa ofc. i would never mind some crack ship as i do this one if not for their obnoxious stans that did way too much to list there right now. but this burning desire to persuade every rock on the street that your crack ship is canon will never stop being ridiculous lmao

also braime. tbh i used to low-key like them but some of their stans weirded my away lol. i get that not all of them are like that but still. it's generally my great pain when i see braime/brienne/jaime stans who are also dany/targ antis. every time i see them i cackle and run away as fast as i can crying from disappointment lmao. it's really a pity because i'm either very neutral or like in my own way all three of them.

6. Has fandom ever made you enjoy a pairing you previously hated?

jonrya it is! i never hated them, you know, but they never were more than siblings and brotp to me. however, later i encountered the deluded crack ship fandom that shall not be named and understood that if there is any possible romance for jon with any of his sisters-cousins we all know which one it will be lmao. also their stans are very sweet and i really like many of their takes on arya and jon! i generally love relationships of jon and arya very much so it wasn't that difficult in practice to see them in a quite different light.

7. Is there anything you used to like but can't stand now?

meta culture lmao. reading different analysis and interpretations of the text used to be very interesting to me (and still is tbh but in other fandoms) though asoiaf is a different case. imo many people aren't honest in their so called theories and analyses. i get that all of us are biased but some "meta writers'" denial of their own biases influence fandom in a bad way. it looks like too many people run to them to get answers to their questions about any minor detail as if they were grrm himself. yk instead of using their own reading comprehension lmao. you see how this meta culture ruined fandom just looking at the most delusional stans and shippers who spread their agenda by writing endless text posts full of nonsense and bullshit but styled as oh so intellectual and thoughtful analysis. it's insane how many people actually buy it and don't check canon accuracy of such claims themselves. it got to the ridiculous point when random people try to argue with you with some far-fetched embarrassing "theories" as if they were canon facts or quotes straight up from a fanfic because they read somewhere some other confused soul's post and got from a context that this quote is canon (despite the fact that it wasn't written in grrm's style at all but some people can't use their brains even if their lives depended on it it seems).

anyway it's become too long and rambly already so tldr. because of such "neutral unbiased" analyses i got the habit of fact checking almost everything i see in such posts. there's only a small amount of meta writers from targ/dany/jon/arya stans that i trust because i know by practice and following them for some time that they don't pull anything out of nowhere, back up everything they say with canon quotes, don't decontextualize anything and (that is the most important thing to me) are reasonable and open to discussion unlike so many bnfs nowadays.

8. Have you received anon hate? What about?

ah, not in this fandom yet, god bless! i think i'm not loud enough for the needed amount of time to deserve it lol. but since i'm not going anywhere soon maybe one day i will 😂

9. Most disliked character(s)? Why?

robert baratheon and tywin lannister, obviously. tbh it's pretty hard for me to hate any characters because you know. they're fictional lmao. just lines on paper, they can't hurt you. and even such dudes as tywin or robert don't get real distaste from me if they're written well enough. my problem with them lies not only in their canon crimes and shitty consequences of those but in fandom's (or at least some parts of it) unwillingness to acknowledge that they're canonically written as shitty, not as stan/pity/worship material. tywin isn't as clever as some think and robert is a coward outside of battlefield, not to mention some absolutely disgusting denial of his nature from targ antis only because the man happened to be the most vocal targ hater in-universe so these folks feel like he is their main book representative and whitewash him completely lmao

10. Most disliked arc? Why?

uugh idk even. i'm either low-key interested (or used to be at least so i can stay pretty neutral for the sake of nostalgia lol) or too indifferent to really care.

11. Is there an unpopular character you like that the fandom doesn't? Why?

all my faves have their own crowd of haters i'm afraid 😭 but let me say rhaegar. even among some dany/targ stans my man is so misunderstood lmao. it's not even his fault i dare say it's fanon about his half-imagined crimes that somehow got widespread to the unbelievable degree. and when i say they're half-imagined i'm being very generous actually. ofc he isn't perfect, no one in asoiaf is. and yes, he's a pre-series dead minor character but almost all little information about him is actually positive, not to mention the narrative itself that doesn't paint him as a villain or just a shitty dude. on the contrary, he's an idealized to some degree dead prince who could've been a good king (like some other historical targaryens, jacaerys, baelor breakspear, aemon son of jaehaerys, etc.), a mysterious yet tragic figure. i have much to say about why it's so popular to shit on him in fandom but yeah. his haters should send their complaints to grrm instead, no one forced the man to write him like that lol. and i mean that no one has to like him ofc. but it's misinterpretation of the text to claim he was intentionally written as a villain or smth by grrm.

12. Is there an unpopular arc that you like that the fandom doesn't? Why?

i don't know if it counts as unpopular but i would say tyrion's arc as a whole because i enjoy his character and like in my own way. i can get why some people don't like him but this man will always have his own place in my heart i must admit.

13. Unpopular opinion about XXX character?

is this unpopular tho?.. ok but renly wouldn't make a terrible king. i dare say he would be better than both robert and stannis. yes, he wasn't shown as perfect and i don't claim this. he wouldn't be the best or the most brilliant or the most just or noble. yet still better than his brothers. his flaws weren't anything other high lords didn't have, his mistakes weren't anything other lords and kings didn't do. in many ways he would make a better job than robert or stannis, too bad he died so early, even though i get why it was important for the narrative.

26. Most shippable character?

well generally for me it's the ones i love the most lol. jonerys/snowstorm is my never dying otp but i admit my sins, sometimes i just see dany with other characters (often from other fandoms pls don't @ me). however, since dany is THE fave of mine it means i would rather twist the other guy or girl to fit into the good match for her than twist her for another character in my new born crack ship lol. and i never stay for too long with the ships with which i feel they don't really fit and don't do justice for each other lol. maybe that's the reason i'm not much of a rare shipper / crack shipper afshdjdb

27. Least shippable character?

everyone i don't like? 😭 as i've said sansa for the reasons above lol. you can insert many others in her place lmao

[emsylcatac]

Questions regarding issues in ML & putting them in a French cultural context

Following this post about French culture & Cheek kisses with a ML interpretation, and these asks posts (part 1, part 2, part 3), I’ve been asked to analyse some aspects regarding the latest Chat Noir salt circulating around in a French cultural context.

While the post I made about cheek kisses was only light-hearted cultural information, this one deals with heavier issues so if you’re not interested about it and just like to enjoy the cute cartoon without digging into fandom salt discourses, feel free to ignore it.

I’m going to answer @flightfoot​‘s questions here that will be copied and past; buckle up because it’s gonna be a VERY long post and I will dig deep but I will try to keep the tone as informative and neutral as possible and analyse everything step by step.

I will also remind once again that Miraculous, as a comic kids cartoon, exaggerates lots of things regarding behaviour and characters’ actions: all of that for kids to understand more easily what’s happening, the characters feelings and/or for comedic purposes. Not everything is to be taken literally and applied in a real life situation.

Again, this is my perspective as a radom French person and another French might give a different analysis, but here is mine.

/!\ WARNING: This post will give definitions of sexual harassment & aggression. While I don’t think I’m being too heavy on it (I’m still analysing a kids cartoon mind you), if these are a trigger for you, please do not continue reading or read at your own risks. The rest of the post will be undercut:

___________________

First things first, I will translate as best as I can the definition of sexual harassment as it is written in the French penal code:

“Sexual harassment is characterised by imposing on a person repeatedly words or behaviours that have a sexual or sexist connotation and that:

harm their dignity by degrading or humiliating them

or create an intimidating, hostile or offensive situation for them.

Sexual harassment is assimilating any form of serious pressure (even if not repeated) with the real or apparent aim of obtaining a sexual act, for the benefit of the perpetrator or a third party.”

... And I will do the same with the definition of sexual assault, also translated as written in the French penal code:

“Sexual assault is any non-penetrative sexual attempt on a victim with violence, coercion or threat. For example, touching.

For sexual assault to occur, physical contact is required between the perpetrator and the victim.

Sexual assault can also occur by surprise if the perpetrator acts when the victim is not expecting it. For instance, in crowds in public transports.

In all cases, the perpetrator hasn’t obtained the clear and explicit consent of the victim:

Either the victim has expressed a clear and explicit refusal and/or defended themselves but the aggressor has applied on them a physical coercion; it is the case if violence is used.

Either the victim hasn’t expressed a clear and explicit refusal and/or defended themselves because they were under moral coercion.; it is the case when the victim is under psychological pressure, when the victim doesn’t dare to say anything in front of the perpetrator (e.g. between an employee and her boss).

Either the victim wasn’t in a position to give a clear answer (for instance, a victim under the influence of drug or alcohol, or the victim is vulnerable because of their state of health).

Attempt to a sexual assault is equally punished; attempt occurs if the perpetrator tried to assault their victim but failed because of something out of their control (the victim defended themselves...).”

Okay, theory part being dealt with, room for questions! 

(I’m not going to comment on the fact that I’m legit bringing French penal code’s definition to apply in a kids cartoon and that people the characters’ age don’t even know but well here we are. I said I was going to dig deep, happy ride.)

1. So first question:

1 · “I also wanted to ask about the times when Chat has leaned in for a kiss - albeit never seriously, like in Prime Queen or Weredad. That would be taken badly in the U.S., since kissing is so serious, that that kind of more “joking” kind of kissing would likely get Chat written up in a U.S. school and placed in in-school suspension, and at the very least would warrant a stern and pointed lecture about never, ever leaning in for a kiss that’s not clearly wanted, even as a joke, even if it’s stopped. I wanted to get your perspective on that.”

I asked about what you said to some other American friends so that I could have more insights on the matter, and apparently not all of them completely agree about the fact that he would be suspended for jokingly leaning in and all. So maybe it depends how strict the school you go to in America can be.

Anyway, in France: once again this all depends on the persons involved, their relationship to each other, how comfortable they are together. Obviously a stranger (aka someone you just met for the first time) leaning in for a kiss even jokingly won’t be well perceived at all and definitely would deserve at the very least a lecture (and more than that I’d say). But Chat Noir is no stranger to Ladybug; he is her friend, her partner, and she doesn’t feel threatened by him at all because she knows him and how he reacts: they have established their boundaries. And more importantly, he stops when she asks him to: in all these regards, Chat Noir wouldn’t get a scold or a lecture in school because it is something that can be dealt with between the two persons involved.

What also needs to be understood is that the context where Chat Noir leaned in in Prime Queen for instance is very different to the one in a playground. And for that, I will have to give an analysis of the events in Prime Queen and why none of what happened is sexual harassment or assault. I will put that in parallel with Félix. (I warned you this was gonna be a hell of a long post). I’m not going to talk about Lila because I need the same person involved -- Ladybug -- but I could have. I’ve obviously rewatched the episode just before making this post so everything is fresh in my mind.

1. a. Prime Queen - analysis

There is a reason why it is in this particular episode that we see Chat Noir leaning in for a kiss and not another episode. And let me remind you about what happens at the beginning of the episode, specifically during Nadja Chamack’s interview to LB & CN:

Nadja is trying to make LB & CN admit that their relationship is more than solely partnership or friendship by showing them a bunch of photos taken out of their context. While they both know when these happened, one of them is still unknown to Chat Noir: the one where Ladybug kissed him.

(Translated form French because I’m too lazy to look for another video & it gives more French context since translations from FV to EV aren’t always the same, but anyway to remind you what is being said):

CN: What?! When did this happen? 

LB: I was trying to save you, not to kiss you!

So Chat Noir learned that in order to save him & beat an akuma, Ladybug kissed him. Following by Ladybug saying:  “It doesn’t mean anything, these images have been taken out of their context. All we were doing was our job, we save the city together every day, we are not a couple.”

... Yeah. You get where I’m going with this. All these information go to Chat Noir’s lovesick teenage brain and if Ladybug had to kiss him in order to beat the akuma, why can’t it be the solution again if the mission needs it? He’s certainly open to repeat this plan. Furthermore, Prime Queen is an akuma that seeks proof of them as a couple. 

So, first instance Chat Noir leans in for a kiss: Prime Queen tells them that a confession isn’t enough; as proof, she wants them to take off their mask and give them their miraculous. Chat Noir, knowing what he just learned before from Dark Cupid, offers a kiss as a proof instead of their Miraculous:  1. It isn’t too far fetch of a reasoning, and Ladybug is the one who said to Prime Queen they were a couple and asked Chat Noir to ‘play along’  2. There sure is ulterior motives since it would be an added bonus to be able to kiss Ladybug but she did it to him while he wasn’t aware of it, so maybe she wouldn’t mind doing it again  3. He leans in slowly, giving her all the time to pull back 

LB: Now is not the time, my kitty.

As soon as she says those words, he stops and draws back. If you look at Ladybug’s reaction, at no point does she look uncomfortable or threatened: she knows Chat Noir will stop the instant she asks because she knows him. She doesn’t even budge or lift a finger to his lips because she knows she doesn't need to. She maintains her position, has an annoyed look on her face and says it’s not the time. 

Second instance where Chat Noir leans in for a kiss: it’s basically the same except they’re stuck and Prime Queen threatens to drop Alya in the Seine. They’re both stressed so Chat Noir brought the kiss back jokingly again. I don’t think here he expects her to accept anyway. But it’s to him once again an option worth considering against the akuma since he has no idea what to do and she said cataclysm was useless when he asked if he should use it.

LB: Now is still not the time, my kitty.

Again, same reactions: he leans in slowly, she waits a bit before speaking and as soon as she opens her mouth he stops and draws back. Again, she doesn’t move at all from her position nor even feels the need to lift a finger.

All of that being analysed and put into perspective with the context of the episode which is, mind I remind you again, the one where Chat Noir discovers he had been unknowingly kissed by Ladybug in order to defeat an akuma, as well as an episode where the option of kissing isn’t too far fetch of a plan in this akuma situation, let’s check again the French definitions:

Regarding sexual harassement: there is no harm on Ladybug’s dignity by degrading or humiliating her, and Chat Noir doesn’t create an intimidating, hostile or offensive situation for her. At most, she is annoyed. It is therefore not a case of sexual harassment.

Regarding sexual assault: well do I really need to detail that one knowing that she explicitly gave her refusal of the kiss and he stopped right away? It is then again not a case of sexual assault.

I will add as well that nothing in Chat Noir’s behaviour indicates that he has a certain power over her or that he is dominating the situation: he is not. Ladybug is still in control of everything happening.

1.b. Félix comparison

Okay, now to compare this with the Félix situation in which I hope we’ll all agree there’s at the very least sexual harassment involved, otherwise an attempt to sexual assault.

(I think this scene has been analysed and analysed over and over again but if you don’t want to loose too much time to find a post about it, well here is my take on it that I’ll use to compare with Prime Queen.)

First of, let’s consider three things here:

Ladybug’s relationship to Adrien: while she knows him as Marinette and is friend with him, the both of them don’t have a close relationship like Ladybug & Chat Noir have. Therefore, between Marinette and Adrien, boundaries have been less established and tested. This is even more the case in Ladybug & Adrien’s relationship because they technically only have met a handful of times. So had Adrien just playfully leaned in for a kiss, it wouldn’t have been well perceived by Ladybug (well at least if she wasn’t in love with him, but still if it comes out of nowhere.. no) contrary to if it was Chat Noir who was playfully leaning in.

Ladybug’s relationship to Félix: she doesn't know Félix at all; Félix playfully leaning in for a kiss even if stopped would be even worse than Adrien as civilian doing it. Félix not even playfully leaning in is... Bad.

Félix is impersonating someone, aka Adrien, and tried to kiss someone.

We therefore already have major differences in this case compared to the Prime Queen situation: boundaries not established between the two persons, the two persons meeting for the first time AND identity thievery. And no akuma involved in which kissing could be a plan option.

Then, how does Félix proceeds on his attempt to kiss her and what is Ladybug’s obvious reaction?

He is moving towards her. She is immediately backing away, an intimidated & scared look on her face and her hands & arms are coming a bit up.

All of that to back her against the wall, where she won’t have room to escape.

Ok, so hand on the wall, and Ladybug’s position clearly indicating she feels unsafe. I think we can all see the differences in her reaction there compared to how she felt with Chat Noir in Prime Queen and we can all see the differences of behaviours between Chat Noir’s and Félix’s.

LB: Uh, what? Wait but NO!

Clearly, even if she loves Adrien, this is not the kind of behaviour she would expect from him given their current relationship and lack of established boundaries. It is made of course worse by the fact that it isn’t even Adrien.

Screenshots of Ladybug’s face that I’ll invite you to compare to the one she pulled in Prime Queen when Chat leans in for a kiss that I’ve put above:

And why does Félix stop? You all know that, we all loved that scene (I couldn’t find the gif and I’m very sad about it):

Ok so once again, let’s check in the French context (and I think we all agree this isn’t only a French cultural thing but we’ll look at the French standards definitions there):

Regarding sexual harassement: Félix clearly creates an intimidating and hostile situation for Ladybug. She feels unsafe and scared and it shows on her behaviour, body language & facial expression. It is therefore a case of sexual harassment.

Regarding sexual assault: there is coercion of backing Ladybug against a wall, giving her less room for escape. Ladybug has clearly and explicitly expressed her refusal, yet Félix is still trying to force a kiss onto her. The reason he failed is because something out of his control happened, aka Ladybug defended herself, aka Ladybug punched him. It is then an attempt to a sexual assault.

In conclusion to the comparison between Chat Noir in Prime Queen and Félix in, well, Félix, here are the key points differences that make one’s behaviour sexual harassment and the other not:

Chat Noir & Ladybug’s established boundaries; their friendship and partnership and the need for physical contacts due to fighting together. Communication. Refusal taken into account and respected. Akuma related. Ladybug has kissed him before for akuma related reasons.

Ladybug & Félix being stranger to each other; no boundaries established due to meeting for the first time & lack of friendship or any kind of relationship. No communication. Refusal not taken into account and not respected. Identity theft.

1.c. Weredad analysis

Ok so since flightfoot mentioned Weredad, I’m going to do a quick analysis of this instance where Chat Noir leaned in for a kiss because I feel like if I don’t do it, some people might point it out to me. Again, I rewatched the scene where it happened (not the whole episode though but it was not necessary).

And once again, there is a reason why Weredad is the other occurrence where this happens. For that we need to look at the general plot of the episode: the Marichat. The episode deals with Marinette falsely ‘confessing’ for Chat Noir and him rejecting her.

And for that, kids need to be reminded who each of their heart belongs to. It will help them grasp more the comedic and irony of the situation. So what better way to do it than starting the episode with a Ladynoir scene where:

Chat Noir is flirting with Ladybug and playfully telling her that ‘his heart is prisoner of her adorable eyes forever’, before playfully leaning in as if he was about to kiss her

Ladybug crashing in the Adrien billboard right after, sighing lovesickingly saying “Adrien’s lips, the dream!”

With that scene, we’re reminded (even if it’s obvious) that Marinette is still pursuing Adrien and Chat Noir is pursuing Ladybug. This is also simply a comical process: Ladybug unknowingly missing the very lips she is dreaming of. It makes the Marichat scenes even more ironic thanks to that.

It’s also not disturbing because they’re playfully bantering together, Chat Noir wasn’t really going to kiss her and they both know it ( someone as romantic as him wouldn’t want his first kiss with the girl of his dreams to be like that) and he is just playing the fool as always as suggested by his voice’s intonation (at least in French it’s super obvious).

Proof is, Ladybug doesn’t even react to what happened and teasingly rejects him back.

Conclusion to this question 1 :

Knowing the contexts of the episodes these events occurred, the dynamic of our characters, and the respect of boundaries: no, in a French cultural context anyway, Chat Noir wouldn’t get a scold or get in school-suspension and his actions aren’t sexual harassment. 

As for my personal perspective, I’ve never been shocked by his actions and behaviour considering the Ladynoir dynamic. I’ll repeat once again what I said in an ask: that I’m someone pretty serious on the sexual harassment & all issues and definitely wouldn’t let it slide if it were the case.

___________________

2. Second Question:

2 · I also wanted to ask about him calling her “bugaboo”; judging by his expression and her reaction, it looked like he intends it in a “lightly annoying, more teasing” way, and judging by her general reaction, that seems to be how she takes it, especially since she’s then teased him right back before, with calling him “Banananoir” and “Bugaboy” in return in Feast and Reflekdoll respectively. However, it can come off as being something much more serious by U.S. cultural standards, since she HAS asked him to stop repeatedly and he hasn’t, and since “Bugaboo” is a sort of pet name, it can come off as sexual harassment. What’s your perspective on this?

(Don’t worry everyone reading, this part will be way less long than the first question. If you’re still with me and I haven’t lost you yet, congrats! You deserve the ‘I’ve put up with Emsy’s long ramblings so I’m a warrior’ medal aware.)

Once again, I asked about other American friends and they didn’t all agree that him calling her ‘Bugaboo’ could be considered a form of sexual harassment. I guess it depends again on a lot of factors, but anyway: in France.

It is pretty common to give your friends silly and ridiculous nicknames. So I’m gonna make a list of instances where giving someone a nickname can be deemed inappropriate in France that come to mind:

a stranger giving you a nickname especially when they do not know your name; depending on the context of the situation (if it’s someone wanting to flirt inappropriately with you in the street for instance) it can be considered harassment or sexual harassment coupled with certain behaviours

a person or a group of persons you know but aren’t your friends, and are known to bully and harass you

if the nickname given by a friend has sexual connotation and you mind it.

‘Bugaboo’ doesn’t fit in any of these cases: it’s an affectionate nickname destined to a friend. You’ll notice that Chat Noir doesn’t start to call her that before a few episodes in in season 1.

Yes, she is a bit annoyed and that’s also precisely why he continues because he likes to tease her so she can tease him back. However the reason she asks him to stop is because it’s a ridiculous nickname in my opinion more than anything else. It’s definitely not as bad as ‘Adrikins’ (or ‘Adrichou’ in French) though but it is part of their banter and she indeed sees it that way.

She herself gives him plenty of nicknames that are as ridiculous so it’s give and take. As you said, she wouldn’t tease him by calling him ‘Bugaboy’ or ‘Bananoir’ back.

In French, the nickname is ‘Buguinette’. When you add an ‘-ette’ at the end of a name to make it a nickname, it implies ‘little’. So ‘Buguinette’ is basically him calling her ‘little bug’.

@coucouchatmoi​  also asked me if the reason him calling her ‘Buguinette’ annoys her is because it’s a teasing nickname or because it’s close to her civilian name, and I don’t think it has anything to do with her civilian name. It’s just because it’s affectionate and teasing.

Nicknames Ladybug calls him in French (there’s ‘Kitty’ in English): Chaton, mon Chaton, Chatounet (I think once or twice and this is typically the kind of affectionate ridiculous nickname Buguinette is; the ‘-ounet’ for a boy also implies ‘little’. Though Chatounet sounds way more ridiculous than Buguinette), Minou, mon Minou...  Side note: I’m actually kinda cringing with the ‘mon Minou’ one because there could be (’could’ being the key word, it’s a kids show so it’s not what is aimed for) perceived in France as having a little bit of sexual connotation. So it’s not at all used that way and the instances where it’s used are usually alright but yeah. Careful with the cat nicknames when you want to use them in French in your fanfics. Anyway, this to say that Ladybug’s nicknames for Chat Noir can be worse than his for her.

Again, I’ll put it into perspective with the sexual harassment definition so it’s dealt with:

Him calling her Bugaboo/Buguinette isn’t harming her dignity and isn’t degrading or humiliating her; it doesn’t create an intimidating, hostile or offensive situation. Therefore, it’s not a case of sexual harassment.

Conclusion for question 2:

No, in France, him calling her Bugaboo/Buguinette is definitely not considered sexual harassment even if she asked to stop because it’s all part of their banter and teasing. At least to me its seems reeeaaally far fetch to even possibly consider it that.

Again, it’s also all part of the Ladynoir dynamic and the comic tone of Miraculous as a cartoon.

___________________

And this is finally the end of this very very long post. I hope I answered the questions as best as I could and that what I said was clear for everyone. Thank you & congrats if you have read it all ;)

I tried to stay factual as much as possible in this and take as much things into account as I could. You’ll also notice that I didn’t bring up anything regarding Adrien’s social skill, statue as an abused victim or age because I didn’t even need to to conclude what I did.

If some of you want to have more info on French culture & perspectives regarding the show feel free to ask me; hopefully I won't have to make other posts regarding sexual harassment because I feel like I’ve talked enough about the issue between this post and the asks posts I linked at the beginning, and I’d love to talk about other aspects than salt discourses. 

[heraldofzaun]

//Still lurking.

Some thoughts below the cut. A little melancholic. A little ranty. Many thoughts on how Viktor is perceived by the fandom at large. It got away from me.

I think I’ve mentioned it elsewhere, but I have followers here and this is also a Viktor blog... I think it would be nice if people stopped making fun of Viktor’s accent - I saw T/BSkyen’s (I think that keeps me out of the tag) shorts video on Viktor, and it was disheartening that he chose to make fun of Viktor’s accent several times throughout a one-minute video. No other character with a hammy, over-the-top accent, as far I know, receives this treatment. No one makes fun of Caitlyn’s British accent in character analyses of her. No one makes fun of Fiora’s French accent in character analyses of her. (I just checked his videos on them, actually, and guess what - no mocking their accents by doing them! Although Fiora’s accent does get mentioned, at the least.)

Just... stop doing it? We know the accent is cartoonishly bad and not accurate to actual Russian accents at all. But why, specifically, are people - T/BSkyen, in this instance - compelled to make fun of Viktor by putting on an accent and saying “Get reed of all emotions“ and “GLORIOUS EVOLUTION” and “BEEP BOOP ROBOT BRAIN”? (The misspelling in the first is not mine. It is in the actual subtitles for the video.)

I mean, we all know that the answer is the fact that American (and other countries, but we can focus on America for now) media spent the Cold War convincing Americans that Russians and Eastern Europeans were mindless followers of ideology and/or Crazy Insane Scientists, instead of like... people with diverse thoughts and feelings who may or may not agree with their government, but like... I have to ask the rhetorical questions here because no one else is going to apparently. Anyways it’s 2021 stop conflating people and the governments they live under, I guess.

Anyways, also very disheartening that I just checked the pinned comment on that video and he is now saying that Viktor’s endpoint is the Battlecast universe, which is not a canon fact even in current lore. It’s an assumption. I can’t even say that Full Machine Viktor is Viktor’s endpoint, because that was retconned into being a janitor skin that randomly breaks into Spanish in the skin bio for a... “joke”? (Because that’s a cool thing to do. I’d ask how that got past anyone, but that’s a pointless question.) But Battlecast is not stated anywhere to be the end result of canonical Viktor, as far as I know. I suppose it’s not stated to not be the result, but... Like, what other character gets an AU skinline that people then say has to be their canonical endgoal when it is not said to be their canonical endgoal by any official source?

Quothe the loremaster... “The endpoint of Viktor's quest is the Battlecast universe. In case y'all forgot. Read between the lines of his stories even a little bit before stanning him, I'm begging you.”

The entirety of the pinned comment is frustrating. It is frustrating not only because it clashes entirely with the funny comical tone of the minute-long short, which also decides to yet again conflate transhumanism with being trans (we have heard my thoughts on this before. Please stop doing this), but because it is unfortunately true in aspects about current Viktor. He is really not a good man, even though you may be able to argue that Riot’s biased narrator choices mean that a canonical version of the Viktor-Jayce fight does not exist. (Because both lores tell their sides of the story. Biasedly.) But as the story stands, his character getting filled out didn’t make him more morally ambiguous than his original counterpart. The ambiguity that existed originally was due to us not knowing a lot about him and thus being able to interpret things the way we wished. (I’m sure that there is still room for interpretation in the new lore, but it seems lesser to me. Also, his color story is framed atrociously. It’s going for warm and fuzzy when the content of it is giving a kid drugs but this is a long enough post already...)

Riot does not know what to do with Viktor. They’re content to portray him as a Russian mad scientist and buffoon in LoR and in some other media, because... [gestures at the struck-out paragraph above]. But then they have his lore which... could be interesting, maybe, if it weren’t convinced that the way to tell a morally grey story is to have narrators more unreliable than a pull-start lawn mower. Like, they just don’t know what to do with him.

Any analysis of him needs to come with that caveat, not someone deciding that the best way to spent a minute of analysis is to make multiple jokes about Viktor’s accent being stereotypical via... feeding into it being stereotypical... and saying that transhumanism is related to trans rights in any inherent way.

Also, T/BSkyen says that Viktor only has an augmented hand and the third arm, which conveniently ignores the fact that Prototype is probably supposed to be taken as semi-canonical considering its name and the fact it was made when backstory-related skins were a more common thing. (And also because it hasn’t been retconned into being a janitor.) It also conveniently ignores the fact that Viktor’s lower legs clearly don’t look like armor on his model, but this is a side tangent that doesn’t really matter, so...

Whatever, right? I’ve clearly put more thought into this than League’s local loremaster put into that video and subsequent “no guys he really is a baddie stop stanning him and grow critical thinking skills” comment. Sorry if I sound jaded here or am taking this far too seriously or whatever, it’s just... man, it’s a lot. It makes trying to do my take in any public capacity feel kind of like shit, because it’s clear that the general perception of Viktor is currently 1) Haha Funny Accent Man, 2) Trans Rights!1!, and/or 3) He’s Evil :(, and it sucks. I already am writing for a niche audience who will accept a Viktor who never went to Piltover and who exists in old Zaun. I know that that’s niche. I’m okay with it being niche, I think.

But it sucks to build up all this character and do all this writing and try to... I don’t know, present a nuanced view of someone, and then just get another fucking joke about his accent or his design tropes or about what transhumanism is. Especially when those jokes are what people remember, right?

Sorry. This got whiny. But I think it explains why I’ve lost so much steam on writing our favorite Machine Herald, because stuff like this just keeps kind of... happening.

Thank you to the folks that send in anons about my analyses or who like my posts about my artistic endeavors or just... well, interact in general. It does mean a lot to me that you guys are invested enough to hang around and read 2k words of me doing the Pepe Silvia scene from Always Sunny as I connect dots that might not have been meant to be connected. It’s just hard to keep doing it, sometimes, and I guess this is one of those moments.

[rhydium]

Info dumbo about the StarFinite story?

aright u asked for it anon GET READY [cracks knuckles] this is gonna be long so obligatory cut in 3, 2........

...1!

so the uh, the au! the story!! w/e yall wanna call it! full disclaimer, i only began working on this whole thing a while ago, but it's totally taken over my fukn brain. like, we're talking big hyperfixation hrs. am i cringe for being this invested in my own content? yes? cool i do not Care >:3€

i should also throw it out there real quick that i am kin w/ infinite, n this is actually one of my two canons (both of which are my own aus lmfao wow). i didn't go into it expecting it to be but sfsfsgdfs here we are ig!! for that reason it's got extra importance to me n this definitely contributes to the euphoria i get from it!! it's a lil odd writing ur own canon,,? but i kinda just go w/ the flow!

the au n, the story that i will start Eventually, revolves around infinite n starline (obvi) n it's honestly just ... the tl;dr is big healing momence n, what's this? uh oh sisters !!! they are falling in love 😳😳😳

uhhhh so infinite is an android, made by eggman. that's like, the most notable canon divergence here! super important context to have. i've got a whole big theory on the possibility of sega originally intending infinite to be an artificial being (which i explored in the works for my Other canon too), stemming from not only the scene in forces wherein infinite comments on sonic's "data", but a line of dialogue from tails in one of the last stages of the game where he Literally Says "so this is where eggman built infinite". that ... i mean. that contrasts w/ episode shadow pretty hard don't it?? would explain why that dlc was so rushed, n the comic too. ANYWAY adsfsfs um that's a seperate ramblepost. yeah!!!

they are also agender n use they/them (primarily) as well as he/him!! so i'll be refering to them w/ those pronouns!

after the war, infinite is taken in by the resistance n, instead of being dismantled, they're basically given a chance to rehabilitate themselves. it's agreed that they won't be reprogrammed, as despite the potential risks, it feels wrong to do so; like a violation of their free will, individuality n thinking. if infinite is to be a good person, it's not gonna be bc other ppl recreated their entire personality, it's gonna be bc it's what they themselves truly want. robot ethics idk man!! u can't tell me that sonic n co wouldn't offer this to infinite if they offered it to metal in IDW,,,, i am Standing By This!!!

it's, yknow, a bit rocky, at first. infinite has to really fight the urge to return to eggman (something they already tried once, before the resistance found them; they were cast out). it's a struggle against what they were built to do, against giving into unhealthy familiarity over facing a, while healthier, unfamiliarity. new faces, a new life, turning their back on their mission n creator, it's like, a lot.

they work for/with the sonic crew, rebuilding the world they tore down as deemed fitting justice, being closely monitored for a bit as a natural precaution. as it becomes apparent infinite truly no longer has any ambition to harm others (they don't have much ambition for anything, really), they're then granted more freedom, n start taking on more important missions!! it at least gives them something to do, keeps them occupied. they have issues with dissociation, unreality, whether they're truly a real person bc, well, android. feeling purposeless, n a lack of worth, especially. a need to prove themselves. heavy stuff. i'll kinda go into that a bit more in a sec. their work grounds them, if only temporarily.

n soooooo... IDW comic stuff happens. metal virus time. starline gets kicked out of the empire.

now, as the comics are ongoing, n as this is already an au, there's gonna be divergence, n i must admit i haven't planned out all that yet. there's a lot i have to consider!! infinite being w the resistance/restoration is a big game changer ... tho i Do believe that they were absent, likely on a far out mission during most of the chaos. eggman doesn't know abt them, nor does starline or anyone else other than the sonic crew; n some civilians that recognise them.

i'm not 100% sure of Exactly when it happens, but i think it's just after bad guys, that infinite is sent to locate n bring in starline. it doesn't prove too difficult. there's a whole, starline realising "oh fuck it's you???", some bickering n, the two don't hit it off right away. they're both kinda like. not mentally stable ddgddgdds,,,

so uh. starline ends up essentially going thru the same sorta shit as infinite. careful watch, rebuilding, all that jazz, making sure he can be trusted. he's like... very very lost, quite like infinite is. the world has kinda calmed down, in the meanwhile.

it's at this point i'm gonna go ahead n drop a bit of a ramble i subjected my friends to a while ago, to articulate the way i see the two, n their dynamic together!! i was considering making this it's own post a while ago!

analysing their characters a bit... let's look at starline. Like. so we have this, in bad guys, which SENT ME tbfh;

i feel like it's the moment that triggers starline onto the path he is rn canonically,,, he's clearly like. rly mad n bitter. the core of this?? he wants his work n his efforts to be acknowledged.

he's big angry. still kind of in denial at this stage. he has himself obsessed w/ the idea of making eggman see him as Worthy, that if he just tries hard enough, that'll happen. he's dependent on eggman's validation, n i mean, it's no surprise; he's followed him a Long Time by the sounds of it.

then in the recent issue, hold the fuck up, bc we got, This;

god. my god it's all comin together now homies. this???? this right here??? it is the CLASSIC "i have to do this to prove i'm strong n powerful n smart n worthy n should be respected please Give Me Acknowledgement" ..... n who else is Like That? can u see where im going w/ this?

i think most ppl are aware of infinite's character being extremely indicative of self worth/esteem issues n the need to prove themself, right?? the extreme adversity, repulsion, perhaps even fear toward the idea of being weak. the compulsion to prove otherwise, to show their strength, to become powerful, to conquer to make a point. their theme exudes this same energy as their behaviour in-game; an aggressive attitude, trying to assert themself, while if u rly listen...? the lyrics are actually really sad in places. it reeks of cover up, although composition wise, a v interesting thing to note is a lot of the more telling lyrics are prominent while some of the affirming ones are in the background. indicative of a desire to have their true feelings be heard but caught in a vicious loop?

okay okay that's yet Another different analysis. AHEM.

not to get deep on main (oh who the hell am i kidding that's the point of this entire thing) but i think starline has issues w/ his worth in a similar way to infinite. they both seem to have this need to Prove something, whether it's to others or themselves, n get caught in a toxic spiral of doing worse n worse things for Some kind of validation or acknowledgement. they'll go to really big lengths chasing that, n both of them ultimately sought validation in the wrong place n wrong way.

this is a big part of my starfinite dynamic,, n so, what happens, as they get closer n open up??? we have them BOTH realising together that they don't have to do fuck all to prove anything to anyone. they don't need to do all this to show they're strong n smart n worth something, not to anyone else OR themselves. they're enough as they are. they bond over that shared feeling that they have to do xyz, to prove themselves, n that desire to just finally be acknowledged n appreciated n help each other thru it. to help each other understand that other ppls approval, or lack thereof, doesn't define them, their strength, intelligence, and worthiness.

i feel like they have an interesting parallel between them in like... the above could be taken as a general analysis, but to go more in depth on this au specifically?? ...

starline followed eggman for presumably a long time n it no doubt left him feeling a heavy and deep regret for all that time wasted n spent on an unhealthy path. infinite kinda teaches him that what matters is what he's doing Now n also reminds him that if none of it happened, starline wouldn't have learnt a lot of the serious skills he has. n while starline still feels bad, he also realises himself that, he likely never would have crossed infinite's path if none of it happened. for that reason, he wouldn't take it back.

infinite has only been recently made, on the other hand. they haven't really existed long, yet, but so far their experiences haven't been very positive n it can be .... discouraging. starline sorta, shows infinite their limited experiences w/ the world are a very tiny fraction of what's out there, n things can absolutely change, yes, including for the better; that's the essence of life, a neverending, constant flow of change.

it's a big tale of moving on n letting go, honestly; made easier as they're doing it together. n as they heal n grow, well... these bitches gay. sfshshdgds like, ig that's putting it p bluntly but!! they start to trust each other, understand each other more. as they get to truly know who the other is, they both start developing The Feelings. they're both pretty oblivious n the reveal is totally unknown so far!! yeah, i know, bummer. i suck. boo. adafsfsds however i can say there will be lots of content in the making!! if that soothes the soul! i've got of ideas i hope to bring to life.

ofc there's still a lot of more specific things i haven't covered here so! if y'all want more juice hmu w/ more focused questions but !! this is the overview n i hope it was a decent read now that gave some uhhh! Cool Insight! yea!!! ✌

[minecatyoutube]

YOUR NEW BOYFRIEND IS A NEW ERA OF WIMBLER SNOOT

The song is built of musical contrasts, new instruments not featured in his previous songs. This suggests a resistance to being put in his “Indie Boy” box. Yeah whatever, I’m not here to analysis this, I just have knowledge and notice things and not enough space in my brain. Anyway, let’s get into it…

THE MUSICAL BREAKDOWN

AKA trying to sound smart with my B in GCSE music

INTRODUCTION

The music starts with a major key, underneath a old advert over. The major key creates a joyful tone initially, that contrasts Wilbur’s previous music. The introduction is a homophonic electronic piano and guitar introduction, with the piano playing a melodic line. The riff will continue throughout the piece to bring a sense of continuity to an otherwise very broken song. The use of sfx to build up to verse one continues the digital theme created by the electric piano.

VERSE ONE

The sfx builds, creating the idea of verse one to have more musical development however there is only a punchy guitar on the first beat of every bar and a soft cymbal on the third beat. This allows the sung melodic line to take centre stage, but also subverts listeners expectations. The accentuation of the 1st and 3rd beat is a traditional structure for pieces written in common time, creating a sense of regularity. This is contrasted by the melodic line with the accidentals (I’m not 100% sure, relative pitch is hard guys) on “older” and “told her” that disrupts the expected course of the melody.

CHORUS

There is an absence of the traditional build up to the chorus, which contains a strongly contrasting electric guitar riff, then moving into the second half of the chorus the tone shifts again. Female harmonies are introduced, creating a more polyphonic texture and a cuter, dreamlike tone. The chorus concludes with the electric guitar punches and lower harmonies on “arsehole” returning to the angrier tone. These two tones are often in opposition, suggesting the character of the song is fighting against himself, or struggling to stay with reality.

INSTRUMENTAL

The instrumental introduces a new instrument, the trumpet, building up the layers of the piece and creating a strong polyphonic section with the electric piano playing a counter melody underneath. The trumpet creates a fanfare, celebratory tone and contrasts the more contemporary instruments featured in the song.

VERSE TWO

Verse two is the same as verse one, except for lyrics but were not analysing that today (I had to cut lyrical and visual breakdowns bc uhhh. It was very long) Verse two is slightly more built up with backing to create a seamless feel to the song despite its many contrasts

BRIDGE

The bridge takes the dreamlike tone to the max, the female harmonies and longer phrasing amplifies this and contrasts verse two. The echo in the harmonies contributes to contrast the lack of repetition in the song and more accidentals feature in the melody on the last “seventeen” presenting the idea of instability

VERSE THREE Verse three contains less built up than verse two and features a descending scale under the melody mirroring the descent into madness in the character of the song. The quieter guitar backing creates a sadder tone.

CHORUS

The final chorus begins suddenly after the quieter tone of Verse three, accentuating the familiar guitar riff to keep the chorus musically interesting and new. The chorus ends and blends well into the trumpet melody lines, keeping the momentum of the song, and creating a seamless feel even though the tones are contradictory.

BRIDGE II

The inclusion of a second bridge further splinters the piece into many parts but still maintains a connected feel throughout the song. In the second bridge of Your New Boyfriend, the vocal layers are built up more with extra harmonies being introduced. The female harmony line often follows a question-and-answer style structure, creating an echo to match the dreamlike tone. Another vocal line sounds to have been electronically altered carrying on the digital tone of the song, peaking at “Jason Derulo” The digital feel is contrasted by the guitar riffs, with an unprocessed sound, typically used in indie and rock songs contrasting with the jazz style of the trumpet used in the ending of the song

TLDR;

In conclusion, Your New Boyfriend explores the contrast between perceived reality and reality, both musically, (lyrically and visually). The song suggests Wilbur’s talent in music production is growing, or exploring new concepts and genres, carving out his own musical path and a new era for Wilbur Soot Music.

Thank you for coming to my TEDTalk.

[scythian-andromache]

Hi, I sent the Nile + bullet wounds + period cramps ask after reading about how women in general, when they go to the doctor, rate their pain lower than men because we're more used to gritting our teeth and bearing it to the point where serious medical concerns are ignored because doctors assume it's just cramps. You brought up an angle that I hadn't considered though, and I hope that someone else does comment on it because now I have to know.

Hi there, Anon. My identity is layered with enough types of privilege that I didn't have to question whether your ask was in good faith—I just assumed it was!—and that's part of the reason I wanted to bring up the problematic angle, so it could be a moment of thought and reflection.

(I should add!: Three or four years ago, it would never have occurred to me to look at it from that angle either, because I grew up in a very white and very small and very insulated community. We didn't talk about race. We didn't talk about structural inequalities and racism. And that's a real problem, because there are a lot of places that need to reconcile with deeply racist legacies. The US is one of those places. Anyways.)

I’ve also read some of those articles about doctors not taking women's pain seriously (and women rating pain lower), and I've experienced it personally, too. Women's health in general isn't taken seriously, or prioritized in clinical studies, or a whole host of other things. That is totally true! I get where your ask was coming from. 

But Nile's womanhood also intersects with her blackness, which implies a whole new constellation of bias and discrimination. This is where I was coming from—as well as a mentality formed by the very valid critique that there is a lot of violence and brutality done to Nile and Nile's body in particular (Andy shoots her. Nile shoots her foot. She takes several bullets for Andy. She throws herself out of a window along with Merrick. Et al.) and that in and of itself is playing, however accidentally, into a harmful trope—and so I want to do at least the bare minimum and provide a couple of articles/resources, not just for you, Anon, but for anyone reading and interested.

There are lots of articles about medical racism and medical bias. White doctors or med students routinely answer that they don't believe Black folx feel as much pain or have as sensitive nerve endings (among lots and lots of other really horrible manifestations of medical racism). A quick Google search will yield plenty of options, but I'm linking this overview piece by the AAMC, which includes links to several further pieces of literature, including the 2016 study I mentioned in the last post. This is part of why I didn’t want to underwrite any of Nile’s pain.

And if you, Anon—or anyone reading this, for that matter!—happen to not be familiar with intersectionality, I would recommend taking a look at Kimberlé Crenshaw's TED Talk "The urgency of intersectionality." It’s been awhile since I watched it, but I remember it being a good place to start when examining how multiple identities come together to create something more than the sum of their parts. (This is connected to what I was trying to get at when I said that what was empowering for one person might not read as empowering, or even positive, for another.) 

Please listen to Black and brown voices. After this, I'm going to tap back out of this particular conversation for the moment, because in this case, my voice isn't the one that matters, isn't the one that you should be listening to. I'm definitely not qualified to be speaking in depth or moderating this subject, because I'm still learning and unlearning (and sometimes fucking up) myself.

A final note: No piece of media is wholy unproblematic. I still love The Old Guard. Sometimes I just have to shut the critical bits of my brain off to enjoy things. (And I also have to remember that I have the privilege to turn certain analysis off, because whatever it's analysizing is not always something that's fundamental to my own identity.)

[rainhalydia]

I wasn't in fandom at the time, so I'm curious about how you felt, as a Throbb shipper, about GRRM confirming Robb didn't love Theon as much as he loved Jon? And how did Throbb shippers in general feel about it?

Well, I can’t say how Throbb shippers in general felt. Not that happy, I’d guess? I can tell how I felt and still feel about it, though I didn’t see that interview until long after the fact so I didn’t catch any drama anyway. To sum it up: I don’t care.

A much longer, rambling word-vomit under the cut:

I think I summed up my feelings very exactly, but I kept thinking a lot about this ask and having lots of opinions, so here we go. I’ll preface this long-ass rant by saying I have no professional training in literary analysis. I just read a lot, overthink everything and had two classes in college about literature.

First of all, this tendency to give great weight - i.e., to care at all - about what writers have to say about their own work is completely foreign to me. I mean it literally - the main framework of literary analysis I’ve encountered throughtout my education was basically centered around the text, and I very much adopt it without even giving it conscious thought. I don’t seek out interviews, addendums, essays, anything at all. Sometimes I read it if they fall on my lap. Such was the case with this interview.

It’s not that writers don’t have things to say, or that those things are not interesting or valuable or sometimes shed a new light on their work. It’s that at the end of the day they’re not important! Only canon is canon. I don’t mean to sound snob or pedantic, like the books are law or something. And any canon has a number of valid interpretations (within limits), they’re not absolute, they allow some wiggle room. But any text needs by definition to stand on its own without writers poking their heads inside the room to say how we should interpret it. If we need imput from the writers to do it, then the text is already bad, it failed, sorry. Interpretation is the reader’s job. In fact, it’s the reader’s prerrogative.

Much of this hipe around authors, I believe, has to do with the rise of social media and how close to the public writers suddenly were. And I feel that applies especially for authors like Martin, who are very talented and have created a very rich world that has become really popular. And ASOIAF is still ongoing. It’s natural that everyone wants to pick at his brain and know where the story is going!

And here I make my second very unpopular point: authors are not specialists in their own work.

He knows more than anyone about it, certainly, and currently Martin is probably the only person who knows how things will end (though we have plenty of bare bones the show left), but he is, as he has admited himself, a gardener. The story was bound to get away from him, given his own writting style. The group of people who will be specialists on his work don’t include him, and they don’t even exist yet. They will only emerge when he’s stopped writing (so probably after his death) and his work has ended (if it was finished or not). Then people can read every single thing he has ever written, which is much more than ASOIAF, and analyse it to death, pick it apart from every single angle, the ones Martin intended to be there and the ones he didn’t.

Again, I don’t mean to come across as snobbish and say Martin does not know his own work, characters, creation, etc. He does! But no writer can leave all their biases behind when they start writing, so these books are not neutral to begin with. Add to it the lots and lots of variables readers will bring when they interpret the text, and any book is always going to be more than the author intends by default.

If my argument seems absurd, let me point out that it has already happened to a certain degree: my own interpretation from reading ASOIAF is that it is full of anti-war, anti-violence messages, and yet from it has sprung an adaptation that, in my own interpretation, glorifies war and violence to a ridiculous degree. I’m not alone in these opinions, btw. They’re pretty common in fandom spaces, so I’m sure I didn’t pull them out of thin air. We can argue until we’re blue in the face that the Ds can’t read anything for shit, they certainly don’t do themselves any favors, but you know, they interpreted the books well enough to correctly guess who was Jon’s mother and get permission to adapt it in the first place. I’ve since seen people (I’m not naming names, anyone still reading will just have to take my word for it, but I swear they do exist) defend that the show is a faithful adaptation of the books and that the glorification of war was there too, and others say that the show didn’t actually glorify war, it had an anti-war message! Who is wrong? Well, I don’t know. As I said, the GRRM’s specialists are yet to come, and I’m certainly not one of them. What I believe, however, is that all of us brought our own biases to the same text, interpreted it according to them, and came to different, often conflicting conclusions.

See also what GRRM said about the partnership between Jaehaerys and Alysanne and what most people made of their relationship from Fire and Blood. See the sept sex/rape scene controversy. See the Dany/Drogo controversy.

Do you get why I put little weight in Martin’s interviews to form my opinion? So given that and my own background, I’ll chose my own interpretation of the text rather than Martin’s apocrypha.

What does the book canon, and the book canon alone, say about Robb’s feelings for Theon? Well, unless new material is released, we’ll just never know for sure, because Robb isn’t a pov character. We do have Theon’s side of things - he has a certain affection for Robb, he’s more of a brother than his own brothers, he wishes he had died with him or at least that he had been there at the moment of Robb’s death, depending on how sincere he feels like being. We also know a little bit of what other characters thought of their relationship. Bran says Robb admired Theon and enjoyed his company, and it’s implied that he finds this baffling. He’s also jealous that Robb spends more time with Theon and other adults doing adult things than with his brothers. And though I’ve talked at lenght about interpretation and wiggle room to understand things, it’s also pretty evident that Robb is down to hear Theon talk about his sexual conquests in some detail as long as his brothers aren’t around.

Of course, Bran is a child and much as he loves Robb, their time together is cut short and Robb is not his main concern anyway. We get most material about Robb and Theon’s relationship from Cat’s pov. There’s a lot we can analyse and Damien had already done a great not-meta about it, but sadly he’s since deleted, thank you to the demons who got on his case, but for me the most damning piece of evidence that Robb feels very strongly for Theon is this:

“Robb will avenge his brothers. Ice can kill as dead as fire. Ice was Ned’s greatsword. Valyrian steel, marked with the ripples of a thousand foldings, so sharp I feared to touch it. Robb’s blade is dull as a cudgel compared to Ice. It will not be easy for him to get Theon’s head off, I fear. The Starks do not use headsmen. Ned always said that the man who passes the sentence should swing the blade, though he never took any joy in the duty.”

So to unpack what is going on: nearly drowing in grief, Cat rambles to Brienne about lots of things, including Theon’s impending death sentence. By Northern dumb tradition, Robb must be the one to behead Theon, his former best friend turned enemy, turned betrayer, turned brother-killer. And she says that it won’t be easy for him to do it.

Now, it can be argued that this is partly because of the sword. They’ve lost their sharp valyrian steel and Robb uses an inferior blade, not as sharp. I reject this interpretation as the only explanation (and here comes my own biases) because she mentions the headsman right after. A headsman might be more experienced, but it’s not like he’d have valyrian steel to do it either. Rather, I think she’s talking about how being able to pass Theon off to be killed by a headsman would be easier on Robb psychologically, but it’s not really an option, so Robb will have to suffer.

At this point, to Robb’s knowledge, Theon has: 1) betrayed his trust and used the ruse of negociations with Balon to escape; 2) attacked the northern shore and enslaved his people; 3) attacked and took control of his home; 4) made his brothers hostages; 5) killed his brothers; 6) denied his brothers the right to be buried in a decent way; and finally, 7) burned their bodies and exposed them for all of the North to see.

And after all this, having to be the one to kill Theon will make him suffer.

We know one of the moments Robb gets the angriest in the books is when Bran is threatened by the wildlings. He is the acting Lord and keeping his little brothers safe is his responsability. He nearly bites Theon’s head off when Theon saves Bran in a risky way and we know that was uncharacteristic because Theon is still sulking about that a whole year later. So his siblings are dear to him, but even after Theon does everything from steps 1 to 4, he’s still sure they’re not in danger and that Theon won’t do anything to them. That’s how much he trusts Theon. It takes literal murder to make him change his mind.

But then he does change his mind. He believes Theon did those awful, awful things to his brothers. After that knowledge has had time to settle in, after he believes the worst of Theon, he has this amazing convo with Cat that I’ll quote whole because it’s amazing:

“Enough.” For just an instant Robb sounded more like Brandon than his father. “No man calls my lady of Winterfell a traitor in my hearing, Lord Rickard.” When he turned to Catelyn, his voice softened. “If I could wish the Kingslayer back in chains I would. You freed him without my knowledge or consent … but what you did, I know you did for love. For Arya and Sansa, and out of grief for Bran and Rickon. Love’s not always wise, I’ve learned. It can lead us to great folly, but we follow our hearts … wherever they take us. Don’t we, Mother?”

Is that what I did? “If my heart led me into folly, I would gladly make whatever amends I can to Lord Karstark and yourself.”

Lord Rickard’s face was implacable. “Will your amends warm Torrhen and Eddard in the cold graves where the Kingslayer laid them?” He shouldered between the Greatjon and Maege Mormont and left the hall.

Robb made no move to detain him. “Forgive him, Mother.”

“If you will forgive me.”

“I have. I know what it is to love so greatly you can think of nothing else.”

Catelyn bowed her head. “Thank you.” I have not lost this child, at least.

So we know that what is going on here is that Robb is buttering Cat up before breaking the news of his marriage to Jeyne to her. One of the possible interpretations supported by the text is that Jeyne is in love with Robb and Robb is not in love with her. It’s a common reading that he married her out of honor and to avoid a possible Jon Snow situation. During their marriage, he seems to grow fond of her - Cat notices he likes her company better, and her brother’s, and that he laughs when he is with the Westerlings - but he also keeps some distance. She’s afraid of Grey Wind, which pretty much means being afraid of a part of him. In turn, he’s attentive, courteous, and a bit touched and annoyed at her public displays of affection.

Then there is this gem:

“His heir failed him.” Robb ran a hand over the rough weathered stone. “I had hoped to leave Jeyne with child … we tried often enough, but I’m not certain…”

And this is more Damien’s not-meta than my own, but once you see it, you can’t ever unsee it. Compare the bolded parts in that quote in the first Cat-Robb convo to the part bolded in the second one, put them side to side and tell me you can’t see the difference. In the first one, Robb basically spells it out that he’s made a mistake out of love, that love turned him into a fool, but it was stronger than him. At that point of the narrative, Robb’s biggest mistake (and notably it was HIS mistale, it was not a case of the narrative screwing him over) was to free Theon. A mistake that caused him to lose his brothers, castle and a significant chunk of political standing. The consequences of marrying Jeyne, which is pretty much only to lose the Freys, don’t even compare - especially because the Stark faction believes they can win their support back.

And this love that made him act like a fool is further described in the second bolded part of that quote. He loved so greatly that he could think of nothing else. That is some passion there, folks. Even considering that he’s trying to get Cat on his side, it strikes me as so sincere and heartfelt. And again, maybe it’s my own biases showing, but that sounds like an all-consuming love, the kind of love that doesn’t go away easily. I don’t see that same depth of emotion on the second bolded quote… they tried often enough. Does it add up with the first part? I don’t think so.

My conclusion, and forgive me if the shipper gogles come in, is that the love that hurt him, that consumed him, is the love he had for Theon. Not for his wife. But it was in the past, one might say. His marriage was just beginning, he and Jeyne grow closer, etc. I’ll quote two more bits:

“I cannot speak to that. There is much confusion in any war. Many false reports. All I can tell you is that my nephews claim it was this bastard son of Bolton’s who saved the women of Winterfell, and the little ones. They are safe at the Dreadfort now, all those who remain.”

“Theon,” Robb said suddenly. “What happened to Theon Greyjoy? Was he slain?”

Here we are nearing the Red Wedding. Some Freys come to pretend to make peace and pressure for a wedding to Edmure and they bring news of the battle of Winterfell. Professional writers don’t often abuse the “suddenly” like us poor fic writers, so when he says it was sudden, i believe it was sudden. I believe it came out of nowhere, in fact, and that Robb was the only one in that room considering Theon’s fate.

Roose Bolton removed a ragged strip of leather from the pouch at his belt. “My son sent this with his letter.”

Ser Wendel turned his fat face away. Robin Flint and Smalljon Umber exchanged a look, and the Greatjon snorted like a bull. “Is that … skin?” said Robb.

“The skin from the little finger of Theon Greyjoy’s left hand. My son is cruel, I confess it. And yet … what is a little skin, against the lives of two young princes? You were their mother, my lady. May I offer you this … small token of revenge?“ 

Part of Catelyn wanted to clutch the grisly trophy to her heart, but she made herself resist. “Put it away. Please.”

“Flaying Theon will not bring my brothers back,” Robb said. “I want his head, not his skin.”

Aside from Catelyn, who is torn, and maybe the Greatjon (I don’t know what snorting like a bull is supposed to convey), no one in that room approves of torturing Theon, they’re all rightly creeped out. But no one would blink an eye if Robb had ordered Theon flayed alive. Instead, he commands the torture to stop. Of course it’s the only decent thing to do, but let’s all appreciate how the character who is always arguing for peace, end of conflict and letting things go for the sake of the living and what can still be saved instead of more violence, is tempted by it. Robb is the only one who shares the full extent of Cat’s grief here, but he’s also the only one to try and stop the senseless punishment.

I joke all the time about how Throbb is canon, and it’s mostly jokes. They are not canon in the sense that Cat and Ned are canon, and I don’t think we’ll have any more facts added to their story together, there probably won’t be any flashbacks that hint at a romantic relationship between them. But looking at the text alone, what we have of it as of now, it’s possible to support a canonical reading for this ship. This interpretation is there in the text if you want to see it. In fact, some things make more sense if Robb was in love with Theon.

And you know, having a ship be supported by canon is not actually a condition that needs to be met to ship anything. It’s just something I particularly need to get into it. But even if you read Theon and Robb as just friends, it’s a reach to say that Robb didn’t love Theon.

Of course, we have Robb demonstrating affection towards Jon in the books too. He is Robb’s chosen heir, to Cat’s despair. Despite all the negative propaganda bastards get and the fact that the mother he so respected and loved disliked and distrusted Jon, Robb considers him a full brother, to compare to Sansa’s constant “half-brother” from the beginning of her journey. They’re seen having a good time together (they have a horse race in their very first appearance in the books, and Mance recalls them getting into trouble together as children), so they enjoy each other’s company.

Yet there’s also an undercurrent of sibling rivalry between them, seen from Jon’s pov. We have this bit with Benjen:

Benjen gave Jon a careful, measuring look. “You don’t miss much, do you, Jon? We could use a man like you on the Wall.”

Jon swelled with pride. “Robb is a stronger lance than I am, but I’m the better sword, and Hullen says I sit a horse as well as anyone in the castle.”

This is hilarious to me. My uncle paid me a compliment for being perceptive, a skill not at all related to martial skills! Time to compare my martial skills to my brother’s, even though we’re both 14 and there’s lots of more tried warriors in the world and we haven’t even had our last growh spurt! This is sure to impress a seasoned ranger!

Of course we know Jon’s rivalry towards Robb comes from his bastard status, but it’s interesting to me that it’s something that centers around Robb alone; he doesn’t compare himself to Bran or Rickon as far as I remember. That can be explained by their very similar ages and growing up together, I think. Jon has the advantage of being older than his other true born brothers.

Jon also says this:

Bastard children were born from lust and lies, men said; their nature was wanton and treacherous. Once Jon had meant to prove them wrong, to show his lord father that he could be as good and true a son as Robb. I made a botch of that. Robb had become a hero king; if Jon was remembered at all, it would be as a turncloak, an oathbreaker, and a murderer. He was glad that Lord Eddard was not alive to see his shame.

To Jon - and to the other Stark children - Robb is often the model to be emmulated. I won’t dig up all the times they hold him up as the ideal of bravery. Jon’s feelings are not unique in this sense, though they are when it comes to the rivalry. They all admire Robb. From Robb’s side, I don’t remember hints of him admiring Jon or any of his siblings. He certainly loves them, likes them, and enjoys spending time with Jon at the very least.

But Theon is the one Robb admires in text. Bran says it, and Theon too:

“There is nothing small about the letter I bear,” Theon said, “and the offer he makes is one I suggested to him.”

“This wolf king heeds your counsel, does he?” The notion seemed to amuse Lord Balon.

“He heeds me, yes. I’ve hunted with him, trained with him, shared meat and mead with him, warred at his side. I have earned his trust. He looks on me as an older brother, he—”

Readers often dismiss this as Theon’s garden variety empty bragging. To be fair, Theon very much distorts reality in his head to fit his own idea of how things should be, but this is one of the few times when he’s not doing that. He’s genuinely proud that Robb thinks so well of him. And since he’s so sensitive about what people think of him and people not giving him the credit he thinks he deserves, I’m ready to believe his account of facts this one time.

What I get from canon, regarding who Robb loves the most out of Jon and Theon, is that he loves them differently. He might even love Jon more by ASOS; it’s a wonder that we have hints that he still cares about Theon at all by the end, after the murders of who we know are the miller boys, but who Robb thinks are Bran and Rickon.

He had different relationships with them. Even if you reject the reading of Throbb as romantic, friends and siblings are not interchangable, even if you’re out there calling close friends brothers or if your brother is your best friend. It’s different sorts of affection. At the beginning of the series, Robb and Theon seemed closer to me than Robb and Jon - let’s not forget that Jon’s favorite is Arya, and the biggest family drama at that time has to do with Jon and Cat. They grow even closer as they go to war together, and then they’re pushed apart by circumstances and by Theon’s actions.

But okay, this is not long enough yet, so let’s say that this is an invalid framework of analysis and Martin’s word of god has as much weight as canon, and that in fact, we’re 100% certain that Robb loved Jon more than Theon.

Why does it even need to be a competition? No one holds it against Ygritte that Jon loves Arya more. Asha has a steady boyfriend that she’d gladly marry, and still she takes risk after risk for Theon. Ned was probably the greatest love of Cat’s life, but her interactions with her brother and uncle are still emotional and moving in great part because of the depth of her love for them.

Robb loving Jon more doesn’t take anything away from Theon. He doesn’t love Theon less because he loves Jon more, love is not a finite resource. And Robb loved Theon plenty, be it in a familial, friends or romantic way. If it diminished, that was a result of Theon’s choices alone.

[sandroila]

Hey Sondroila, can I share this real quick? I think a big reason why (some) analysis acc’s never rest is because they’re so used to questioning EVERYTHING at this point. Like, it’s okay for things like the Osaka Vlive, because there are so many things in that vid that are questionable and highly suspicious. Some stuff in there is just blatantly obvious even. It’s also just fun speculation and a fun exercise to be honest. Same goes for analysing music videos. (1/9)

But, they’re really going way too far. Because they they always question everything, they think absolutely everything related to BTS has some deeper layer or meaning. There’s always some underlying problems or issues (did I mention it’s always negative questioning for some reason). They don’t ever take things for face value. Take Tae’s song for example. Instead of just enjoying the song or actually listening to Tae saying how happy he is with the response and result, they have to say stuff (2/9)

like: “Why isn’t it uploaded to ibighits channel. Why is the song in English, is bighit forcing him?”. Also, don’t get me started on people complaining about how it’s only Jimin who promotes songs, and how the other members apparently don’t give a shit about him because they didn’t ‘tweet’ anything when Promise was released (because according to them, real life support doesn’t exist, it should always be public support only). (3/9)

They really take pride in being negative don’t they. They take stuff and put an even more horrible spin on it, because they can’t help to always negatively question everything that bangtan says or does. I sometimes question why they don’t just leave the fandom, but they have this deep inner mission of protecting the boys. They do have a funny way of showing it (like telling Jimin to leave because BTS hates him, or telling Namjoon to not give Jungkook pointers). I would also like to mention (4/9)

that they do have a pre-existing narrative in which their theories exist (I’m talking, of course, but she who must not be named, her followers and disciples (lol)), one of which is that BTS are nothing but colleagues to each other and not friends. (5/9)

Recently, I saw a post about how Jungkook being dissatisfied with a performance wasn’t normal. First of all, just because the audience doesn’t see (or hear) the ‘mistake’, doesn’t mean the artist doesn’t. It’s like when you mess up a presentation. Mostly, the audience will not know you’ve forgotten a part of your text. But the presenter can still feel frustrated because he/she missed a part (especially if he/she rehearsed it frequently). Secondly, in my personal experience, I’ve never met (6/9)

anyone (especially if they’re passionate) who right away after a personally dissatisfying performance will go: “Oh well, at least I did my best”. That usually takes at least a few hours or day to sink in. If you rehearsed for some kind of examination, and you expected a 9 but you receive a 6, you’re not going to right away say that you did your best, are you? What I’m getting at is that Jungkook reacted perfectly normal, (7/9)

and that analysists are blowing this WAY out of proportion (did I mention that JK himself said that he doesn’t hold on to stress and in his Vlive in Germany he literally told us he was finding a positive way to deal with his foot injury by focusing on other perfecting aspects of his performance and that he said he matured a lot? But of course, these blogs on twt don’t believe him do they?) (8/9)

I’m sorry for my dissertation on this, bit I just needed to let this out. It’s frustrating but I have to find peace with the fact that they’re always gonna be around. Anyway, I really love your account and I think you’re great💜 (I also love you @chaotic-jikook, @jiminkoo, @blarhiv and @bulletfrootboyzz.) (9/9)

First of all, sorry for taking so long to answer. I had to take a few days off, since a lot is happening in my life again, and through that my mental health was suffering a bit.

Anways. I couldn’t agree more with everything you said. And I mean it. Nowadays people are just looking for the tiniest “clue” that could indicate something is wrong, or they are mistreated, or their relationships in the group are breaking. Or literally ANYTHING.

I think analyzing their reasoning, way of thoughts, acting, words, even clothes, just everything, is bullshit. None of us are in any position to do that. We never talked to them, we never saw how they act off cam, we never saw them act when no one was around, we can’t look into their brains. But way too many people act like they do know ALL of that.

Most of them act like they have a degree in psychology and have years and years of experience. And even if they had that, you need to talk to them to understand them. Not one psychologist could analyze such deep thought processes and feelings, by just watching videos of them. Especially considering that all those videos are of them “at work”.

But those people think they could.

Hobby psychologists, with a hint of conspiracy theorist. Who project their mindset onto them. Like Jimin is hated by Jk (because they dislike one of them), that BH is sent by the devil (because they dont understand how the industry works and need a scape-goat for everything), that Jk has depressions and is even cutting himself (because he can’t be THAT happy and flawless).

Some of them also just want drama, cause happy friendships/brotherhood and happy people, are boring. 

All of that are reasons why I hate analysis nowadays, no matter what kind of analysis. 

Before it was on a normal level, but now.... Everything is evil, everything is bad, everything has some dark deep meaning, there is nothing good on this planet, everyone hates another, all of them have depressions, all of them have something against the others, all of them are used by another and by bh.

I hate it.

Not that the world is already depressing enough, but those people dare and try to destroy the only light for many many people, with their disgusting thoughts. They need to corrupt everything.

[canardroublard]

TMFU, Gaby’s fashion, and some feminist film analysis

Back when I slapped together a reblog post about the men’s fashion in The Man From UNCLE in between physio appointments, which somehow got like way more notes than I ever really expected or even wanted, I didn’t address the fashion of the lead female character, Gaby. It was outside the scope of the OP, and I didn’t feel like I had anything new or interesting to say about Gaby’s fashion, or lack thereof.

(My beta says those earrings are the ugliest thing ever. I disagree. It’s a wonder we’re still friends)

Anyways, we see only one brief scene of Gaby in her own street clothes, and a slightly longer sequence of her in her work clothes. The rest of the film, she is wearing clothes chosen for her by Illya. Saying “we just don’t have enough info” is a perfectly reasonable approach to this. So this was the other reason I had no intention of making this post.

But then people started getting interested. Someone reblogged commenting about Gaby’s fashion, and I discovered that I have very strong opinions about something I’d previously claimed was unknowable, and it made me wonder what was going on in my brain.

Then I talked to some other TMFU friends who all seemed interested in what I assumed was common knowledge/nothing unique. So, they may have been feigning interest out of politeness, but it activated the art history side of my brain, and here we are now!

The boring stuff but please read this

I am not attempting to tell anyone how to interpret this film. I am not even trying to change people’s minds or persuade them to my thinking. All I am doing is sharing my thought process. I wasn’t even going to do this for Gaby until people asked. To this end, please don’t attempt to argue with me about this. I don’t want to argue. I won’t respond to it. If you disagree, then please, just move along.

And I’m going to remind people that I love TMFU. I love this movie so much it hurts. Why am I putting this reminder here? Because I am about to apply some critical analysis to it, and in places this will be cynical, and it will not always look kindly on the film. If you just want to exist in a happy “I love TMFU!” bubble and not hear anything less than 100% positive about the film (which is a totally valid choice, I don’t fault anyone for that), then don’t read. But don’t yell at me for being mean or criticizing the film, because I warned you.

Tldr; or, if I were still being graded for this stuff here’s my thesis statement

When analysing Gaby’s fashion, there exist considerations which don’t apply to the male characters. Namely, she is a woman and the male gaze is a thing. So I am very, very wary about taking at  face value any expressions of traditional femininity in the choices made  for her outfits, hair, makeup, etc. Therefore, when considering her character, I find it much more useful and informative to give more weight to the aspects of her appearance which do not connote traditional femininity, rather than those that do.

For readers who have studied enough  media analysis to follow my thought based on that alone, there’s the thesis statement, y’all can go home (or at least skip to the end where I come to a conclusion). If you’re lost, then read on.

(mobile readers, the cut here might not work, and if so I apologize for what is going to be a very long post. Tumblr’s “keep reading” functionality is inconsistent at best, but I tried)

Context is for kings essential for analysing media in a meaningful way

(Or, some brief background. Stick with me here, we’ll get to the good stuff soon)

So, art doesn’t exist in a vacuum. Attempting to analyze any artwork (in this case a film) while disregarding the culture it was created in and the intentions of the creator is...not going to get you very far. Asking “what is art” is a question that quite frankly exhausts me at this point (looking at you, Duchamp) but the closest I’ve ever come to an answer is that the only thing that separates art from everything else is intent. And intention only exists within cultural context. So yes, intent and context don’t just matter peripherally, they are one of the biggest considerations one needs to make when analyzing works of art. The creator in this case being Guy Ritchie et al, the culture being British/American Popular Cinema in The Year of Somebody’s Lord Two-Thousand-And-Fifteen. 

Everyone views and creates (if applicable) art through their own distorted, murky, imperfect lens of personal experience. And one of the most persistent Things in western art is that cishet men create art based on their experience of Being A Dude. This is crucial, because this lens of cishet male perspective literally underpins almost all of western culture including popular culture. And thanks to feminist film theorist Laura Mulvey, we have a name for this.

The male gaze and you

I’m going to quote Wikipedia here, because honestly this intro sentence sums things up rather neatly (with one exception which I will address momentarily).

In feminist theory, the male gaze is the act of depicting women and the world, in the visual arts and literature, from a masculine, heterosexual perspective that presents and represents women as sexual objects for the pleasure of the male viewer.

What does that all mean? That the Viewer and the Artist are both cishet men by default, and any women are Subjects of art. Women are viewed, never viewers. Men take action, women are subjected to actions. Furthermore, women are supposed to be pleasurable to view. By men. Since the Viewer is male by default.

But I would disagree that the pleasure is inherently based on women being sexual objects. That’s honestly a really damn limited read on the whole theory, and it’s one that Wikipedia itself contradicts later in the article. More broadly, cis men also derive other forms of pleasure from the presentation and viewing of female bodies, including aesthetic pleasure (the enjoyment of looking at beautiful things).

The theory of the male gaze is not without limits. As originally theorized, afaik it’s not particularly intersectional. It doesn’t really address queer perspectives or perspectives of POC. However, these issues are something I just can’t address here, unfortunately. And when looking at popular media, I still find the concept of the male gaze, imperfect as it may be, is a helpful means of analysis, so it’s worth having in your toolbox.

Circling back, the easiest way to sum up the male gaze, if you’re still not super clear on what it is, is with a demonstration.

Ever seen a shot like this in a movie?

And did you immediately roll your eyes? Feel gross? Congrats, you have just perceived and reacted to the male gaze.

Now we actually get back to TMFU

But the male gaze also shows up in many more subtle, insidious ways than fanservice-y boob shots. For this post, let’s focus on the following considerations, which might help everyone follow my thought process more clearly.

Gaby is a woman

She functions as the love interest of Illya in the script (I am not talking from a shipping perspective. What you ship does not matter for this discussion. I am talking about the narrative function of Gaby in the script as written. Put on your “cishet man” goggles for a moment)

Illya is a man who is attracted to women, specifically Gaby (again, I don’t care if your shipping conflicts with this. I am analyzing the film based on a literal reading of it as if I were a cishet man. Why? Because that’s who made the film. That’s who it’s “for”. I am all for queer readings of film--hell, I ship OT3, I myself have chosen a queer reading for how I interact with it, but I’m not critiquing people’s readings, I’m critiquing the film itself and to do that I have to critique its intentions and cultural context.)

Cishet men are traditionally only allowed to be attracted to women who are conventionally attractive. If they were to be attracted to anyone else it would destroy their fragile senses of self and their heads would explode or something. At least I assume that’s what must happen, based on how terrified they are of it.

Therefore, Gaby must be conventionally attractive, because it is literally required of her or otherwise the whole underpinning of western straight malehood crumbles and then where would we get such a pure, vast source of unadulterated toxic masculinity?

(Yes, this is a very cynical read on things. I’ve studied, like, three centuries worth of this bullshit. I’m tired. Let me be cynical.)

Or, to force myself to be less cynical, Gaby has to be pretty because...nope, this is still going to turn out just as cynical.

But what I will say in favour of this movie is that it gives Gaby and Victoria both a lot of agency and general awesomeness, which is quite unusual in this sort of big-budget action film, and it’s one of the big reasons I love it. I’m not saying that the entire film is sexist. On the contrary, there’s a ton of stuff to celebrate about how it portrays its female characters. But these aspects don’t change the cultural context, and we still have to consider the impacts of the male gaze.

Anyways, point being is that as filtered through the male gaze, Gaby is never given the option to, say, wear no makeup (or the appearance of such, as the guys are afforded, this being cinema where “no makeup” still means makeup) because that would look “ugly”.  Instead she needs to have a “baseline of pretty” which is way higher than reality because she is not a real human being with her own agency, she is a character created by a cis male writer/director team in a film directed by a cis man in a genre that caters to cishet men.

Gaby doesn’t exist in a vacuum. She exists battling centuries and centuries worth of sexist convention.

Now then, remembering all of that, let’s actually look at her. There are woefully few good pictures so I’m going to have to piece things together a little. Starting with the coveralls.

This is a great look, I love it. And I’m going to give Ritchie a lot of credit here because it would’ve been easy to go for a “Michelle Rodriguez in F&F sexy mechanic lady” look. In case I need to provide a visual:

(Repeat above gif about rolling my eyes)

Now, to be clear, I am not making any judgement about the way any real-life women dress. I’m sure there’s plenty of female mechanics who have their hair down and wear tank tops while working. That doesn’t bother me. I don’t care if real life mechanics choose to do their jobs in a string bikini. Or in cosplay of the bee from Bee Movie. I don’t care (and quite frankly it’s none of my business) because they are real people who can make their own decisions. But what I am talking about here is a fictional character who does not have her own agency. I am critiquing how male creators choose to dress their female characters.

So I personally choose to read much more into the unpretty  aspects of Gaby’s outfit, because these are not the “obvious” or “easy”   things. Obvious and easy are “of course she wears makeup” and “of course her hair looks good” and  “of course she doesn’t look like a swamp witch  who bathes in mud and spends her days cursing passing men”. Those things don’t challenge or disrupt the assumption that women must look attractive for male consumption.

Gaby’s introduction to us is with her in a pair of grease-stained, baggy coveralls, not wearing any obvious makeup (again, this is cinema, so she is wearing makeup. For cinema the goal posts around “wearing makeup” always need to be moved from where they’d be irl). There’s very little here that screams ‘pretty’. And that is fascinating to me.

I don’t know how deeply Ritchie thought this through when giving final approval to the costume, hair and makeup. But unpretty is not the default here. It’s a choice

And look at this. This is the stance and dress sense (and socks!) of a woman who does not give a damn about looking good for the male gaze, whether the in-movie gaze of Napoleon, or the implied gaze of the viewer and creator. It’s not ‘pretty’. And this is the only time in the film we see Gaby in her own everyday clothes, as she only escapes East Berlin with the literal clothes on her back.

So how do I think Gaby dresses? I think that for the most part she dresses....like this. Practical. Comfortable. With a few simple touches of things she likes/finds pretty, perhaps, but not with a specific interest in being pretty. She dresses for herself, not for others. And if that isn’t something to aspire to, I don’t know what is.

[kicacris]

do you ever wonder if cree had never turned evil, she would have enter the TND and maybe the AND

GATHER AROUND KIDS ‘CAUSE OLD CRIS IS ABOUT TO KND RAMBLE IN A VERY LONG POST!

Long time ago, when I was still in my 15s and the show was barely starting in CN, I used to believe Cree was another secret undercover teen operative working for KND and I was CONSTANTLY waiting for the reveal to eventually happen (pretty much what I also expected with Chad) but after the show ended and Chad was the only one who got proven to be good all along, I was 100% convinced she was really in the enemy side and I learned to accept it and EMBRACE IT.

You see, part of what makes Cree’s this cool character we all love it’s her personal vendetta against KND. If you take that element out of her character design, she would probably be just a normal teen-older-sister figure who has been somehow secretly protecting Abby/Sector V in the sidelines all this time and, although I admit that would have been pretty awesome to discover, I totally prefer the case not to be because I think a redemption arc for her would be way much more awesome to watch.

But please allow me to go into full Numbuh 101 mode for a second and ramble a bit with another of my “KicaCris-analyses-the-KND-canon-universe!” very long posts:

To me, Cree is the “Jasper” (Steven Universe) of the Kids-Next-Door, the villain who will figure out later her mistakes and rise again as a redeemed heroine. 

Story-wise, I think the writers needed to show us the both sides of the aftermath of KND operatives turning 13 yrs old: the kids who accept decommission and grow up honorably (Maurice) and the kids who (for some reason) decide to rebel and betray KND upon becoming teenagers (Cree).

Now I don’t think Cree betrayed KND just because “she’s now a teen and suddenly her brain/hormones decided to turn her evil” and all that yada-yada, hell no. Cree was A LOT like Abby when she was a kid (proven in the flashback of Op MAURICE), she was Sector V’s leader, super smart, brave and responsible. 

SOMETHING must have happened after Maurice left Sector V that somehow made her HATE with raging passion the Kids-Next-Door. What was it? We don’t know it yet, but we can pin-point WHEN it probably happened.

Canon-wise, it seemed to have happened after Nigel’s graduation from the Cadets-Next-Door Academy and during what I presume was Chad’s first years as a global command operative (Op TREATY flashback). The flashback definitely happens after the whole chicken-pox thing, as we can notice Abby is already wearing Cree’s red cap and Numbuhs 8A and 8B have been cured and still part of the team:

Funny enough Chad seems to have gone thru one heck of a growth spurt after Maurice left Sector V. Notice how he was a small boy scout in Op Maurice flashback and how he suddenly is towering Nigel in Op TREATY flashback: 

(Bonus: he’s even taller in the present day)

Sorry I got distracted-what was I saying?

Ah yeah, the timeline! So, as I was saying, Cree was still Sector V’s leader when Nigel graduated from the Cadets-Next-Door academy and Chad was already a global command operative. 

And then we have Kuki’s graduation flashback:

As far as I know canon-wise, Kuki is the youngest and last member to join Sector V and notice how by this moment in time, Numbuh 100 is STILL the Supreme Leader, Chad is a global command operative and yes Rachel is also pictured in here wearing her old uniform, but none of the old or current members of Sector V appear.

I’m not sure if there is an established limited number of operatives per KND team sector but, but either Sector V had like 8 members by the time Kuki joined in or Cree and the twins were already gone by then.

Anyway, my point is whatever triggered Cree to betray KND probably happened around this moment, either before or after Numbuh 100 got decommissioned. 

But alas, we never learned what caused her to rebel…just another of the many unresolved stories in the show…*sigh

I don’t want to spoil much my headcanon, ‘cause you’ll see what is my version of what probably lead Cree to rebel in my story, but all I can say is that SOMETHING must have rubbed her the wrong way with KND right before hitting 13 years old that triggered to start a personal war against the organization (plus, recruiting decommissioned high-ranked-beloved ex KND operatives to be part of her Teen Ninjas forces seems pretty ill-intended so her desire for revenge is really intense!)

 (((BONUS RANDOM  UNRELATED GROWTH SPURT ANALYSIS UNDER THE CUT BECAUSE I CAN’T STOP THINKING ABOUT THIS LOL))) :

What really confuses (and fascinates me the most too) is that A LOT OF TIME seemed to have passed between Maurice leaving Sector V and Kuki’s addition. In Operation: E.N.D., it is stated that Numbuh 274 was the leader for 5 years, but this is later contradicted in Operation: M.A.U.R.I.C.E., as the flashback shows that three years before the present time Numbuh 100 was still the Supreme Leader. (This is a very intriguing mistake because clearly, the writers didn’t have Numbuh 100 in mind when Operation END was written. Numbuh 100 seemed to have been created in the production of the two last seasons and he must have had a purpose story-wise because why would you suddenly throw another Supreme Leader before Chad and Rachel’s time to the story???)

The growth spur Maurice, Chad and Rachel go thru the show is very noticeable and it’s probably the best indicator of how much time has passed if you compared them to how all members of Sector V remain physically the same throughout the show.  

These three, (and Cree too) are the only characters who seem to go thru this expected puberty effect during the show either because they turn 13 or are close to reaching puberty as in Rachel’s case, while Numbuh 1-5 are all barely hitting 10-11 years canonically (Kuki reaching 10 years old in the show is my only reference).  

Let’s check some facts first: Chad is canonically a few months older than Maurice and at least a year older than Rachel, BUT Chad probably had a late growth spur as he clearly looks shorter than Maurice during the chicken-pox crisis. 

Let’s look at Maurice growth spur first: he clearly grows A LOT in the 3 year gap between the flashback and the time of his decommission. He now towers Abby but is still a bit shorter than Cree, who is 16 years old in the show (that means she’s 3 years older than Maurice and Chad wow). 

He’s also almost the same height as Stacey:

But THEN in Op PARTY he seems to have grown even more and is now Cree’ same height:

Let’s check Rachel:

She was already taller than Fanny before becoming a global command operative.

And grows slightly taller than Nigel in Op ZERO.

She keeps growing taller as the show progresses. Look how far she has grown by the time op TREATY happens! She reaches Steve a bit under his shoulders and he’s taller than Cree! It’s very subtle but it’s still noticeable. I’m pretty sure she’s way taller than Abby by the time she passes to her the Supreme Leadership.

And Chad, boy he grows a lot throughout the show! Remember how Stacey was the same height as Maurice at first? Well look again in Op PARTY, Chad is now taller than her!

And in this other shot during the first teen attack during operation TREATY? He’s almost as tall as Cree! 

I’m going to use Numbuh Infinity as my height reference but look how much he’s taller compared to him and Nigel (and Infinity is a tall alien kid mind you).

I’m guessing by the end of the show Chad is almost just as tall as Maurice. Too bad we never saw them side by side in the show, it would have been interesting to see who is the tallest between the two but my headcanon is that Mo is slightly taller. 

Ok I got too carried away with this answer lmao, sorry guys! XD I’m gonna leave it here, thank you for coming to my TED talk about “Growth spur in KND”,  bye!

[allthingstaekook]

Duuude… that vid OMFG! Kudos that you made it to the first 20 minutes. I literally had to pause and got f*ing teary eyed at 7.21 when JK bumped his hand to Tae’s acknowledging Tae’s silent ILY. Jesus, these poor boys. Talk about love that dare not speak its name :’( Btw, I’m so new to this fandom. Not even sure if I’m worthy of the ARMY name yet. But I’ve been in many other fandoms where fans bend reality, time and space continuum to suit their OTPs, LOL ;P (1/5)

(2/5) But THIS, Tae & JK, are the total opposite. I feel those who claimed that there’s nothing between them are the ones who for the sake of their own OTP agenda choose to be willfully blind, willfully ignoring Taekook’s facts. Speaking of which, I can’t believe how nasty some fans of the other ship can be. Like I said, I’m a newbie so I’m still at the stage of browsing around trying to find fun BTS blogs to follow. The other day I stumbled upon a pro JK/other member (not Tae, obvi) blog. (3/5) I always go by ship and let it be shipped, so it was sickening to see a blog getting so aggressive and defensive of their bias and putting down Tae to prop their own ship up. Especially when Tae himself is such a classy human being who preached about loving all 7 of them. LOL, dude is like Bangtan’s Aquaman, Uniting the 7 Seas. Go AquaTae :D But yeah, I got so, SO much feels for Tae & JK. Especially considering JK’s personality. (4/5) JK’s not emotionally constipated by all means. But he’s also not an extroverted PDA ball of fluff either. I think it speaks A LOT of his relationship with Tae for him to show that level of physical comfort and affection, and sometimes even actually vocalized certain things irt it i.e. the Bo Gum thing, the “just friend?” (when Tae introduced him as one) “just look at me” (about Tae’s acrophobia) etc. Also reaction from other members, RM’s “TH, you can kiss him now”, is F’king CLASSIC!!(5/5) Ooh, and Jimin’s “Kim Taehyung?” (irt to JK’s cause of happiness) I don’t have YTube account and frankly YTube’s comment section gives me hives. But I second the sentiment of hopefully author of that vid will continue with 2nd part, and that they deserves showers of love from Taekook-ers. In conclusion, sorry for this long ass ask. Love your blog, was one of the first few BTS blogs that I follow. xxx

OKAY THIS WAS SO NICE TO READ THANK U FOR TAKING TIME TO RESPOND AND SORRY IT TOOK ME 10 YEARS TO REPLY ZMHZKS

ok so 1) AGREED the ily hand sign is literally what made me come and post about the analysis on tumblr because WHAT WHAT WHAT I was shaken to the CORE but it was so beautiful and I was just :((((( I love them sm that video had so many moments where I was like :o bih did they just-

 2) If u like bts' music and support the boys you're definitely worthy of being called an army it doesn't really matter when you got into them as long as u support them you're a part of the fam plus from what I've read in your asks you know A lot about bts already so u can def call yourself an army sis🤩🤙

3)Again heavily agree with them being polar opposites but I think that's why they work??like despite their personalities being opposite they kinda balance each other out and they're the youngest members so I feel like they kinda bond over that fact too lmaooo. their friendship makes me low-key emo cause I want what they have :( like tae is an extrovert while kook is an introvert,  tae LOVES interacting with people which we see by his gazillion industry friends but he'll always pick kook over them cause they have kinda like a puppy/owner kinda relationship???IDK IF THATS A WEIRD COMPARISON like tae helped kook come out of his shell and kinda stuck with him till he was comfortable with all the members so I feel like tae feels like he has to love and cherish kook with cuddles and kisses and I feel like kook makes sure that tae is never sad/ hurt and that no harm comes to him whether it be physically or mentally which we see A LOT but um yeah I can say alot about this but I'm gonna stop here cause ,,,

4) I think most shippers are pretty calm ?? but there are always bad apples I guess and u might've been unlucky to stumble across one of the crazies. Like I don't really mind people shipping whoever cause I'm literally an ot7 stan I ship everyone with everyone BUT when a shipper starts to make it personal and starts attacking a member just because of their ship THATS when I get mad. like really mad. but yeah I usually block & report accounts that spread hate against members cause thanks stanky behaviour 😤✌ also YES Aquatae rise I love that analogy 🤩

5) I think people don't give the Namjoon: "taehyung kiss him" moment enough credit like out of everyone he calls out tae when he wasn't even in the SHOT and then jungkook being all fidgety like a little NERD I love him omg :( but yeah Jungkook is a LOT more active when it comes to his relationship with taehyung (except that one year we went through the worst taekook drought that was not a fun time :() but I'm guessing that's mainly because like he said himself Taehyung was the one who helped him come out of his shell and literally STRIP in front of him lmaooo so I guess it makes sense his PDA levels skyrocket with Tae I think they're just at that stage where they're comfortable with their relationship and who they are as individuals so they don't care as much when people go crazy about their moments. Plus Taehyung LITERALLY cannot keep his hands off jungkook it's becoming concerning it's like whenever he sees jungkook his brain literally screams TOUCH HIM. every.time.

anyways to conclude this long ask omg PLS I love getting long asks of people analysing taekook it makes my heart beat uwu💦 and I'm afraid the video ended up being taken down or privated to idk if she'll make another video :( but I agree she deserves all the taekookers love she went IN on that video 😍

anyways thank you for liking my blog it means a LOT to me ily please come back and talk to me more 💜🧡💛💚💙💗💖💕💓❤💞💝

[lastbluetardis]

Chemical Potential (3/11)

Summary: Slightly homesick and stressed about her abysmal chemistry grade, Rose Tyler meets quirky James Smith, the boy who sits in front of her in their chemistry class. They become fast friends as James makes it his personal mission to help Rose get through the semester.

Ten x Rose University AU

This chapter: ~2800 words, light teen

Notes: This was written for the lovely @thegreenfairy13 as part of the @dwsecretsanta gift exchange.

AO3 | Ch1 | Ch2 | Ch3 | Ch4 | Ch5 | Ch6 | Ch7 | Ch8 | Ch9 | Ch10 | epilogue

Rose didn’t hear from James at all over the next day and a half, and she wondered if maybe he’d regretted his impulsive decision to a) become her friend and/or b) help her study. She tried not to be too disappointed. After all, they were still practically strangers. He didn’t owe her anything.

When she walked into her chemistry class on Friday morning, she debated moving to a different seat to let them both avoid a potentially-awkward situation. But her eyes passed over her usual seat, and she was surprised to see James sitting there.

His face lit up when he saw her, and her stomach coiled with happiness when he frantically waved his arms, gesturing for her to come over.

“Hello Rose Tyler!” he crowed, his voice loud enough to turn the heads of several people. He didn’t seem to notice.

“You’ve moved,” she observed, unzipping her jacket and draping it over the back of her chair.

He blinked. “Was I not supposed to? It’s not like we have assigned seats or anything.”

“Well, maybe not officially,” she teased. “But humans tend to be creatures of habit.”

“Oh. Er, I can move back to my old seat,” he said, sounding a little put-out.

Rose rolled her eyes and bumped her elbow into his. “I’m just messin’ with you. Stay.”

He grinned, then rooted through his bag for his notebook and a pen while she did the same.

James absently clicked his pen as they waited for the professor to arrive, and Rose observed him out of the corner of her eye. He was slouched in his chair with his long legs splayed out in front of him. Those legs went on for miles, and the tight trousers he wore clung to them like a second skin. Rose couldn’t help but rake her eyes up his calves and to his thighs then his hips. She peeked first at his bum but didn’t get much of a view, then let gaze skirt to his lap, to his zipper…

Her cheeks flamed as she averted her eyes from the bulge of his crotch. She chastised herself for being incredibly inappropriate.

She forced her gaze away from his lap and instead looked at the pale expanse of his forearms, exposed by his rolled-up jumper sleeves. The muscles and tendons rippled beneath his fair skin as he fiddled with his pen, and Rose watched his long, graceful fingers tap a nonsense rhythm onto the table.

God, he was beautiful. Just her type, too. And he was kind, which made him even more attractive.

Then she remembered what happened the last time she’d gotten involved with a pretty boy who’d showed her a bit of kindness. She didn’t want to think that James—sweet, generous, goofy James—was capable of cruelty, but she hadn’t thought Jimmy was capable of cruelty either.

A cold band squeezed around her chest, cooling whatever it was she felt for James. The last thing she needed at the moment was a complicated relationship, especially with the boy who wanted to help her pass this godawful chemistry class. Nope. She refused to let herself fall for James Smith. Besides, it’s not like he would ever fall for someone like her, anyway.

“All right?”

Rose glanced up and realized she’d been absently staring at his hands. His face was curious, as though he was dying to know what she was thinking. Before he could ask (and not wanting to admit she’d been ogling him), Rose scrambled for something to say.

“How comes you didn’t text me?” she finally blurted out.

He straightened up in his seat and turned to face her.

“Why didn’t you?” he asked casually.

“I dunno.” She shrugged. “Didn’t want to seem like I was bothering you, I guess.”

“Same here,” he admitted, a sheepish grin stealing across his face. “I, er, I realized after we departed that I may have come on a little strongly. And maybe you’d been uncomfortable without me realizing, but you were just being polite. So I thought maybe I should let you make the first move.”

Rose gave him a reassuring smile and reached out to cover his arm with her hand. His forearm tensed for a moment before loosening again, and the heat of his skin seemed to burn into her palm.

“You didn’t come on too strongly,” she promised. “You’re a bit eccentric, maybe.” She poked her tongue out, grinning at him. “But I thought you seemed genuine and not a complete nutter.”

He pouted and said, his voice going a bit high, “Not a complete nutter?? So you think I’m a little bit of a nutter?”

Rose pursed her lips and shrugged, then giggled when he looked deeply offended.

“We’re all a little mad,” she whispered conspiratorially, winking.

Before James could reply, though, the professor strode into the lecture hall and began speaking before she’d even shed her jacket.

The lecture seemed to pass by impossibly quickly with Rose scrambling to write down every little thing the professor said, hoping her brain would somehow retain it all. It was difficult, though, when she seemed to be hyper-aware of the person sitting beside her. Especially when their elbows kept bumping together as she frantically took notes. Warmth seemed to radiate off of him like a giant sun.

“I’ll sit on your right side next class,” James promised when the class ended. “I didn’t realize you were a leftie. Though I should’ve guessed, considering.” He nodded down to her right wrist and the watch she wore there. “Want to do breakfast again? It’s not pancake day, but I could murder some sausage.”

“I can’t,” she said regretfully. “I’ve got a group project in my Shakespeare class next week and we’re meeting up in a few minutes.”

“Ah, shame,” he said. “We’ll have to coordinate when to meet up for our first study session. Text me later? Or I’ll text you. What’s your Shakespeare project? Where are you meeting? I can walk with you.”

Rose smiled to herself as she donned her jacket and walked with James towards the library, telling him about their group presentation on the analysis of one of the acts of The Taming of the Shrew. He seemed enthralled the entire time and interjected his own fledgling analyses from what he remembered about the play.

“Well, good luck!” he said, reaching out to brush his fingers against her arm. “Laters! Oof, not doing that one again. Toodles? Nah. Buh-bye? Meh, it’ll do. Buh-bye, Rose Tyler!”

Rose watched him turn on his heel and make his way towards the dining hall. He moved so gracefully, his long legs letting him nearly float across the ground. She bit her lip as she finally got a view of his bum, and it was just as delicious as she’d thought it would be. She’d always had a weakness for a good smile and a nice bum, and James Smith certainly had both of them.

oOoOo

It took several days before they were both free enough to meet. Rose’s job at a nearby grocery store meant she was often busy on the weekends, though she enjoyed the pay of working long hours.

They both agreed to meet up at the school library on Sunday afternoon after Rose’s morning work shift.

Rose got there first, and since the library was utterly deserted, she had her pick of tables. She chose an enclosed cubicle that probably acted as a conference room, but it had a wall that was a whiteboard, which she thought might be helpful as they worked through various problems.

After shooting James a quick text telling him where she was, she unloaded all of her chemistry materials onto the oblong table and skimmed through her notes, trying to force her brain to remember names, rules, and equations.

James arrived ten minutes later with his backpack slung over one shoulder, a tote bag over the other, and a portable electric kettle in his hands. There was a heavy clunk when he set the tote on the table.

“I brought tea,” he said, plugging in the kettle. He then reached into the tote and took out two large ceramic mugs. “Well, technically I brought hot water.” He set one of the mugs in front of her, then pulled out a plastic container. It was full of tea bags and individual packs of cream, sugar, and honey, as well as a smaller secondary container of lemon slices. “There’s cocoa mix in there too, if you prefer.”

“Oh, you’re amazing!”

He preened for a minute before selecting a tea bag for himself.

“Studying means brain food,” he said. “And brain beverages. I always have a cuppa when I’m doing homework or the like.” He reached further into the tote bag and pulled out Oreos, Pop-Tarts, Goldfish, and a tin of assorted nuts. He ripped open the top flat of the Oreo package and popped one into his mouth, whole. “Help yourself to anything.”

When the kettle boiled and beeped, Rose selected a packet of Earl Gray tea and began steeping it while she tentatively took an Oreo for herself.

“You didn’t have to go through all this trouble,” she said softly, feeling a little overwhelmed by his generosity.

“I’d’ve brought all of this anyway,” he assured.

Her cheeks were warm as she reached into the plastic container for a little container of cream, a packet of honey, and a lemon slice. James watched her attentively, and Rose tried to steady her hands as she ripped open the cream and honey.

There was silence, save for the crunching of Oreos, as they each fixed up their tea. James had elected for English breakfast tea, and Rose watched with amusement as he dumped three packets each of cream and sugar into his beverage.

“D’you want some tea with that?” she teased.

He stuck his tongue out at her and took a tentative sip of the steaming cup.

“I don’t like the taste of anything bitter,” he admitted. “Never have—it was hell for my parents to give me medicine when I was a kid. But I need the caffeine fix to avoid a massive headache, and I never quite liked the taste of soda. I don’t like that fizzy feeling on my tongue.”

“Fair enough,” Rose said. When they’d both thrown out their sodden tea bags and seemed to be settled, she asked, “So where should we start?”

“Er, well, before we begin… I mean, if you don’t mind me asking,” James said carefully, “what have your scores on the homework and labs been?”

Rose reached for her folder and sifted through papers until she found her old lab reports and graded homework. “They’re better than my exam score. Though literally anything’s better than my exam score. Aha! Here.”

Rose pulled out four graded lab reports and two homework sets. Her cheeks felt a little warm as she showed them to James; the papers were marked with red pen here and there, correcting the multitude of mistakes she’d made. Some of which she knew she should have caught before she’d turned in the assignments. He must think she was a complete idiot.

But he looked up in excitement when he saw the grades.

“We can definitely work with this!” he enthused. “This is great!

“Enh, they’re not that great,” she said nonchalantly.

He frowned, but didn’t argue further. Instead, he said, “I’ve got a plan for you that will hopefully make you feel a little less overwhelmed about this class. The plan is this: you need to focus on totally acing all of the collaborative assignments. Lab reports are worth twenty-five percent of the total class grade. Homework is ten percent. So literally thirty-five percent of this class is on assignments where you get to work with other people. If you can manage at least an eighty-five percent average on both your homework and lab grades, it will be much, much easier for you to get a passing grade in the class. Here, look.”

James turned away from her and rifled through his bag. He pulled out a thin black case, which he flipped back to display an iPad. After typing in his passcode and opening up a file, he rolled his chair closer to her and set the iPad in front of her.

“I made up an Excel spreadsheet,” he said. “It can help you keep track of your grades and pre-calculate your final grade in the class. I’ve inputted all of the formulas, so all you’ll have to do is type in the grades you get on your assignments. I can email this to you, if you want?”

Rose looked up from the Excel spreadsheet. How much time must James have spent putting this together for her?

“Thank you,” she whispered, her chest feeling oddly tight. “This is brilliant. Thank you.”

James beamed, then pulled his iPad away, tapped on it for a few minutes, then proclaimed, “Sent! Right, shall we start with the homework that’s due on Wednesday?”

Together, they worked through the entirety of the problem set as well as the online assignments. When that was finished, they finished that week’s lab report. It took hours, but Rose was pleased with their progress. It had taken half the time it would’ve if she’d worked on it by herself, and while she didn’t feel confident in her knowledge of what they’d studied, she no longer felt utterly lost.

“Thank you so much for this,” Rose said for what had to be the hundredth time.

“No probs.” James shoved his notebooks and folders into his backpack, then took her used, empty tea mug. He stacked it inside of his own, then placed them in his tote bag. That task finished, he turned around to face her and shoved his hands deep into his pockets. “I was wondering… The university is sponsoring a bus trip next Saturday. To Philadelphia. Well, I say sponsoring, but there is a nominal fee. Five dollars. But that completely covers transportation to and from Philly. Have you been to the city yet? It’s beautiful. There are loads of museums and galleries and historical sites. I was planning to go, but it’d be nice to have a friend to go with. Would you maybe like to go with me?”

Rose ran through her schedule in her head, and her heart fell when she remembered she was supposed to work. But a day trip to Philadelphia with James sounded fun.

“I’m scheduled to work that day,” she said, frowning. James bobbed his head in an understanding nod. His shoulders hunched inward and she very much wanted to give him a hug. He seemed to be the touchy-feely type, so he would probably appreciate the gesture, but Rose wasn’t quite sure what to make of the swooping sensation that settled low into her belly whenever they touched. So instead, she fiddled with the bit of dry skin around the cuticles of her thumbs and said, “But that trip sounds like a lot of fun. I’ll see if I can switch with someone.”

His face became hopeful, and her stomach fluttered in response. “Yeah?”

She nodded. “No promises, though. I’ll let you know when I find out.”

Rose texted her supervisor as soon as she got home, and was relieved when she let her have the day off.

She rushed to tell James the good news.

Oh, brilliant! he replied mere seconds later. Tickets are on sale in the student center ‘til Tuesday. Make sure you sign up in time.

After their chemistry lecture on Monday morning, Rose left James to go sign up for the Philadelphia trip. Five minutes and five dollars later, she received a confirmation email about her name being added to the list of students going on the trip.

With a smile, she sent James a text. “I’m officially signed up for the Philly trip!”

Woohoo! Wanna be bus buddies?

Rose rolled her eyes. “Of course.”

Brilliant! It’s a date!

Wait, no, that’s not what I meant!

Not that it’d be a bad thing to go on a date with you!

I just meant like a friend-date! As mates.

Ooh, a mate-date!

I love a good rhyme!

Rose giggled at her phone and the frantic back to back messages. Her mind’s eye easily showed her how flustered James probably looked.

“No worries,” she typed. “I know what you meant.” She then typed the winking kiss emoji, but paused with her thumb hovering over the send button. That was flirtatious. Far too flirtatious. While Rose loved their banter that seemed to border the line of flirtation, she wasn’t sure if James did. Sometimes he seemed to, but his previous texts seemed to indicate otherwise as he’d backtracked as quickly as he could to assure her it wasn’t a date.

Though she told herself it was for the best that she and James only be friends, her heart fell low into her belly. Ignoring the sensation, Rose deleted the winking kiss emoji and replaced it with a thumbs up before hitting ‘send’.

[27dragons]

Name of Piece: He Doth Protest Square Filled: K2 - comics Rating: G Warnings: None. Summary: Tony’s got a bone to pick with the latest issue of Avengers Adventures. Who comes up with these ridiculous stories, anyway? Created For: @tonystarkbingo

[A/N: This is inspired by That One Comic where Tony and Steve spend the day together on what is clearly a date. You all know the one I mean.]

“Good mornin’, boss,” Friday chirped. “You’ve got a brunch meeting at ten with the lawyers to go over several items, including the latest snags in the Foundation’s incorporation, an eleven-thirty with Ms. Potts to discuss the acquisition analysis, a meeting at two with R&D team leads, a work session with Dr. Banner from four to six, Avengers team dinner at seven--”

“Who’s cooking this week?”

“Clint.”

“Hard pass, I’ll order out and stay in the workshop. Anything else?”

“The latest issues of Avengers Adventures have been released,” Friday said. “You promised Ms. Potts you’d sign a stack for her to send to th’ children’s hopsital.”

“Ug,” Tony complained. “It’s a terrible comic.”

“It is for children, boss. They’d likely not understand the realities of superhero life.”

“I’m not complaining about the lack of reality,” Tony said. “I’m complaining about the fact that whoever writes those things clearly thinks Steve and I are knocking boots.”

“Speaking of Captain Rogers,” Friday put in, “he’s just inquired whether you’ve got time for a sparring session today. Shall I tell him your docket is full?”

“Mm, no, we can blow off the R&D meeting. If I keep telling them how to fix their things, they’ll never learn to do it on their own.”

[’ware the readmore!]

Pepper made the lawyers deliver the stack of comics to be signed, which should have been a sign, but instead, Tony just chalked it up to Pep’s usual ruthless efficiency.

At least, until he opened the issue and skimmed through it.

What the hell.

The writers weren’t even trying to disguise their intentions anymore. Fully half the issue was devoted to Tony and Steve on what could only be called a date. They sparred together. They visited a school together. They ate a picnic lunch in the park together. They played one-on-one basketball together. They foiled a minor villain together. And then they went out for burgers together. Just the two of them. On what was clearly a date.

And okay, okay, Tony did do all those things with Steve, from time to time, except maybe the picnic thing, because really? But first of all, Tony didn’t have that much spare time in a single day unless he was so sick (or injured) that he was confined to bed -- in which case he definitely wasn’t having picnics and playing one-on-one. Second of all, there was no reason at all to show Steve guarding Tony that closely in the basketball game. Third of all, a picnic? Really?

“What the hell is this?” Tony demanded of Vanessa, who headed up the law team he was meeting with.

“Mr. Stark, you approved and licensed the comic book franchise over a year ago,” Vanessa said.

“I know that.” Tony waved it off. “But what the hell is this?”

Vanessa’s eyes sharpened. “Did they print something libelous?” She took the comic out of his hand and flipped through it with practiced ease. “No,” she concluded, “this all seems to be in good order.”

“In good order? How can it be in good order? It’s...” Tony flailed, unable to articulate his frustration.

“It’s a cute kids’ comic about two good friends hanging out together,” Vanessa said. “I don’t know what your issue is with it, Mr. Stark, but it’s not a legal issue. Do you not like the art?”

“No,” Pepper said, as soon as Tony walked into her office brandishing the comic. “I don’t want to hear it.”

“Pepper, surely you can do something,” Tony cajoled. “They’re practically married, here, it’s awful.”

Pepper skewered him with her gaze. “Is it awful because you don’t want to be married to Steve, or because you aren’t?”

Tony sputtered. “Have you even seen it?”

“I have,” she said easily. “And I think it’s sweet. It’s nice to see married couples that are still close like that.” Her mouth twitched like she was suppressing a smile.

“Pepper, I’m hurt,” Tony said. “I’m shocked and hurt that you would abuse my affections for you this way.”

“I don’t know why you would be; it’s nothing new.” Pepper reached across the desk and plucked the comic from his hands. “Now, sit down and let’s go over this acquisition analysis so I’m not late for my twelve-fifteen.”

“Have you seen the latest issue of the comics?” he asked Steve, as they danced around each other on the mats.

Steve threw a jab, and Tony danced back out of reach. “Yeah,” Steve said. “I dunno, I think the new artist draws my nose kind of weird. And your beard is all wrong.”

“It’s a complicated shape,” Tony allowed. “I wouldn’t want to draw it four or five times per page, either. Your nose looks fine.” He lunged into a feint, then tried a leg-sweep.

Steve jumped nimbly over it, because of course he did. “Nice one!” he praised. “Almost got me there.” He charged.

Tony tried to roll with it, to use Steve’s momentum to put himself back on top, but it wasn’t much of a contest. He wound up flat on his back, Steve straddling his chest. Only one arm was pinned, but Steve was an unmoveable lump. There wasn’t much Tony could do with his free arm. He slapped at the mat. “Your round,” he admitted.

Steve jumped up and offered Tony a hand. “You’re distracted today,” he observed. “Is it the comic?”

“Kind of, yeah,” Tony said. “You didn’t notice anything weird about it?”

“Except for the nose,” Steve said, “not really. Why, what did you spot?”

Tony made a face and wiped the sweat off his forehead. “I don’t know, I just thought it seemed like the story had us spending a lot of time together.”

“I liked that,” Steve said. “You don’t get enough time to just relax, in the real world. Might as well have some fun in the pretend one.” He danced from one foot to another, shadow-boxing. “You going to be at dinner tonight?”

“Clint’s cooking,” Tony pointed out, “so, no. Anyway, I’m behind on my repairs.”

Steve shook his head, but he chuckled. “I almost think he does it on purpose,” he said. “But you should eat, Tony.”

“I had a big brunch,” Tony said, stretching. “I’ll grab a smoothie, it’ll be fine.”

Steve made a disapproving noise. “How about if I bring you tacos from that one truck you like?”

“I guess I could make time for that.”

Steve grinned. “Got time for one more round?”

Tony checked the clock. He’d be a few minutes late for Bruce, but Bruce would understand. “One more,” he agreed.

“It’s not that I object to them showing us as close,” Tony told Bruce, as he ran the analyses on Bruce’s latest collated data. “It’s just that they’re going to mislead the fans into thinking we’re closer than we actually are.”

“Uh-huh,” Bruce said, laser focused on his data collection. “Tony, I’m seeing a spike in samples fourteen and thirty, can you--?”

“Yep, I’m on it, greenbean,” Tony agreed. He adjusted his models and accepted the data that Bruce flung at him. “And I wouldn’t care about the adults -- there are always going to be rumors and gossip. I mean, there’s a whole cadre of fans who ship the two of us, which is fair, because I’m totally in love with your big, beautiful brain.”

“What do the analyses say about these anomalous readings?” Bruce asked.

“So far it looks like they’re random spikes that’ll settle out again shortly.” Tony flipped the analysis results back over to Bruce’s workstation so he could play with the numbers. “It’s the kids I’m worried about. You know how much I hate to disappoint the kids, right?”

“Sure,” Bruce said distractedly. He adjusted one of the numbers and grunted. “Are you seeing these results, if the beta emissions exceed ten percent?”

“When are beta emissions going to exceed ten percent?” Tony asked. “You’re delving into the realm of the highly theoretical, there. They might go as high as three percent, but ten is just wildly improbable.”

“But still possible,” Bruce pointed out.

Tony sighed. “Fine, but figure out the threshold and mark it. I’m guessing a less than one percent probability. More like one hundredth of a percent. Unlike the probability that some kid is going to get it into their head that Steve and I are dating because of these damn comics.”

Bruce chewed thoughtfully on the end of a pencil. “You know what the solution is, right?”

“Sure; boost the thermal controls so we can get a higher efficiency rating without increasing the risk of beta output.”

“No, I mean-- Well, yes, that will definitely reduce the beta emission problem, but I meant the solution to your problem with the comics.”

“I’m all ears, Jolly Green.”

Bruce tucked the pencil behind his ear and started entering the thermal slide calculations. “You should just ask him out.”

“What? No. No, that’s a terrible idea.” Tony stared at Bruce in dismay.

Bruce shrugged. “It would solve the problem, wouldn’t it?”

“Only if he said yes,” Tony pointed out. “Which he wouldn’t.”

“If you’re going to insist on drawing conclusions in the absence of empirical data,” Bruce said, pushing his glasses up his nose, “then get out of my lab.”

“You know what,” Tony said as he finished his third taco, “I’m going to just go down there and ask.”

Steve gulped down the remains of what had to be his fifth. “Go down where?”

“To the Avengers Adventures office, of course.” Tony fished in the bag for a napkin that wasn’t already soaked through with grease.

“Of... course,” Steve said slowly. “To ask them what, exactly?” He picked up his own napkin and handed it to Tony.

“Thanks.” Tony wiped grease off his hands and brushed taco crumbs out of his beard. “To ask where the hell they keep coming up with these ridiculous stories they’re telling! Try to keep up, Rogers.”

“There is no keeping up with you, Tony,” Steve said, though it sounded fond. “Wait, to ask what? I don’t know if that’s a good idea. I mean, it’s not that important, is it? They’re just cute little stories for kids, and--”

“That’s exactly why I need to know,” Tony said. “They’re dealing with impressionable young minds!” He tossed the napkin into the trash and strode out of the workshop.

Steve caught up with him before he got to the elevator. “It’s dinnertime,” Steve said. “They’ve probably all gone home.”

Tony snorted. “I doubt it. Half the people working in this building are obsessive workaholics. I’m sure there will be someone there.”

Steve made a noise like he wanted to protest again, but then swallowed it.

Avengers Adventures had a corner office on the sixty-third floor and, as Tony had expected, there were plenty of people working late. One of them, a stout middle-aged woman with red hair that was beginning to go gray, looked up as Tony entered. Her focus went over Tony’s shoulder, and her face lit up in a bright smile. Steve had that effect on people. “Captain Rogers!” she said. “We weren’t expecting you again today!”

That was an odd thing to say. Tony twisted to look at Steve and caught him frantically shaking his head at the woman. “Steven?” Tony said. “Something you’d like to share with the class?”

“Not really, no,” Steve tried.

“Didn’t you know?” the woman said cheerfully. “Captain Rogers comes by on a regular basis to help out with our storylines!”

“Oh, does he,” Tony said. He raised his eyebrows at Steve, who was... blushing? “Excuse us,” he said to the comics lady, and pushed Steve back out of the office and into the hallway. “Do I have you to thank for the Amazing Date Adventure?”

“Okay, I know it’s dumb,” Steve sighed. He pushed his fingers through his hair. “I just... I wanted one world where things worked out right.”

“Right,” Tony repeated. He took a half-step closer to Steve, who was avoiding his gaze. “What does right mean, Steve?”

“It, uh, I just, I mean, I wanted--”

“Go out with me,” Tony said.

“What?” Steve stared at him, eyes huge.

“On an actual date,” Tony clarified. “Something that normal people do, instead of, apparently, smearing your crush all over the pages of a kiddie comic.”

“A date,” Steve said.

“Yes. You know. Dinner. A movie. Jet to the Bahamas.”

“Normal people do not jet to the Bahamas for a date,” Steve pointed out, that fond smile curling his lips.

“Well, fortunately for you,” Tony said, grinning up at him in sudden warmth, “you’re not dating a normal person.”