#anyway.. thinking really hard about how much they could have discovered together and with each other...

[sxcret-garden]

hmmm smth im curious about…mtl likely in ateez to be a brat tamer/enjoy a bratty s/o

we're just gonna ignore the fact that this ask is almost 3 months old ok aksldjöfksa i've been wanting to answer this for ages and suddenly so much time has passed... anyway

thanks for the ask, anon!! my detailed thoughts are under the cut~ i hope you enjoy hehe

most

Hongjoong

Wooyoung

Jongho

Mingi

Yunho

San

Seonghwa

Yeosang

least

I think both Hongjoong and Wooyoung would thoroughly enjoy being with a bratty s/o! Hongjoong especially strikes me as such a brat tamer - dating a brat will for sure bring out his dominant side a lot! He'll have so much fun playing with you, figuring out how to make you submit to him and what kind of punishments you enjoy receiving just as much as he enjoys giving. The type to learn very quickly how to keep you under control outside of the house - however, once you're in the comfort of your own home he'll deliberately give you a bit more freedom to go wild, because he loves observing your bratty behaviour almost as much as he loves it when he gets to put you in your place for it. The same goes for Wooyoung, except he'll give you a lot more freedom to tease and disobey him. In that, he's not the biggest brat tamer I think - though on some days dom!Wooyoung will jump out and completely ruin you - but he enjoys the playful power exchange of being with someone willing to challenge him. He'll definitely let you win on some days, while on others he'll make sure to drag out the mutual teasing for hours, until you're both so horny that you just can't keep your hands off each other anymore.

Of course Jongho needs to be in the top 3 for this, but I didn't put him at the very top because I think he isn't up for brat taming all the time. Sometimes he just needs things to be peaceful and sweet while having sex - more often than the people ranked above him - but that doesn't mean he won't enjoy himself when you do act up. Will be pretty strict with you, and when you're both in the mood for it, hard dom!Jongho will jump out. As much as you misbehave, he'll be mean to you, knowing just how to break you into submitting to him completely, and he won't be satisfied until there's not a single thought of disobeying him left in your mind. And tbh he definitely gets off on outsmarting you and making you beg for him to finally give you what you need after he made sure you're done being bratty for the day.

I put Mingi fourth because I think while he wouldn't explicitly be seeking out a bratty partner, being with a brat would bring sides of him to light that no other kind of person could. I think you gotta smooth him into the experience, but after you've gotten comfortable with each other, bratty behaviour just might tickle a very dominant side out of him. Like one day you'll be teasing him in public and this guy will just eventually have enough of your attitude, drag you off somewhere, and whisper the dirtiest threat possible in your ear and neither of you will know where that just came from kslfjasdjf needless to say, he'll really enjoy discovering all about this very different side to him together with you.

Yunho and San would both enjoy having their partner acting bratty sometimes, but they wouldn't want to take on the role of a brat tamer all the time in my opinion. They're both softies at heart and need times where they can simply please you and make you feel good without any big power dynamics involved, being more on the service dom side of things after all. For Yunho especially, I think that he would rather keep things to the comfort of your own home, so his first instinct at you trying to rile him up or tease him in public wouldn't be to put you in your place or anything (though I do think he'd be up for that sometimes if you discussed it beforehand!). That said, I do think that both Yunho and San enjoy this kind of dynamic from time to time! They both have a dominant side to themselves, and they're definitely more than willing to try brat taming with a trusted partner. And just like with Mingi, you might uncover some surprising sides of them in the process...

As someone who has trouble seeing Seonghwa as a big dom, I put him towards the lower end of the list. He's probably a bit similar to Mingi, in that a bratty s/o might just tickle a side out of him that enjoys brat taming a lot! But I think he isn't as likely to actually end up with a bratty s/o. He wants to please you in any way he can, and certainly enjoys submitting to his partner too, so if his s/o turns out to want to be brat tamed, he might not really know what to do with that at first. Though if you're really into that, you two will be sure to figure out how to go about it in order to make the experience enjoyable for both of you!

Last but not least is Yeosang, because I just really think he'd prefer submitting to his partner than the other way around. I just don't see him as a brat tamer at all, so if you throw some bratty behaviour his way he will just be very confused and not know how to respond to that at all. Sure, over time you two can definitely incorporate some teasing into your sexual relationship, and if you explain to him how you want him to react to you being bratty he'll definitely do that. But I think it'd be more something he's willing to dip his toes into in order to please you, and not something that comes natural to him or that he'd get the most pleasure out of!

[ioniansunsets]

i discovered your blog today and i have a scenario in mind that i have to share with you!

could you write a Heartsteel!Kayn request with K/DA!reader? — headcanons, fic or even the two of them talking on discord; it could be anything! — if you want to ignore it, i will understand, dear.

✖ Heartsteel!Kayn with K/DA!Reader ✖

✖ Word Count: 1.1k

✖ Tags: Established R/S

✖ A/N: I'm also going with headcanon of the idol thing where they try not to get caught in public together to avoid gossip but people somehow ship you guys and speculate anyway teehee ITS CUTE!!!!! I'm also pretending you guys got together after he joined Heartsteel so its after he got removed from his old band.also PARANOIA DROP IN 10 HOURS LETS GO TEAM!!!!!!!! I LOVE HEARTSTEEL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

----

xxxx On Tour xxxx

-  It sucked so bad! It was touring season and the both of you guys were busy. All your time together were quick video calls over Discord and sporadic updates via message. It wasn't a secret to your bandmates at least so your respective bands did try their best to give you space. Quiet moments in dressing rooms to call each other were now your small moments of peace between practice sets and live shows.

- Somehow still finding ways to love each other apart. Kayn getting Akali to buy you some chocolates from him. You pleading Alune to help you send Kayn some flowers after his show. (She's a sucker for romance so she lovingly helps you.) Or the way he would spend money getting someone to deliver dinner to you after a long show.

- If only one of you guys are touring, the other totally pays and watches all the livestreams and tries to pop by to shows! You're performing 3h from him? He's begging your manager to let him drop by. Waiting for you backstage to congratulate you on your hard work.

- If you're the one waiting for Kayn backstage he always visibly lights up. He tries to look cool and badass on stage but when its after a good show, seeing you wave at him in the halls, his heart soars! He runs over, pulling you in for a tight hug. " Did you hear me! I was good today wasn't I!" He'd smile proud, giving you a kiss as he fishes for compliments. There is no approval he craves more than your own.

- The other boys are surprisingly nice about it, no one really makes fun of Kayn for being so excited to see you (other than Ezreal). They treat you as one of the band, giving you VIP passes to pop by their shows. And you do the same for them! When possible you slip their manager some VIP tickets to your show for them to sneak in. A mutual understanding from both groups to protect you and Kayn from media.

- Pre-debut Heartsteel, Kayn has also went to almost all your shows, front row every time and surprisingly he always tries to match you hair color for the tour. You have bright blue for tour? So does he. Its blonde now? He's the same. Kayn just thinks its kinda cute to safely match with you in someway shape or form, it is just a small thing that paparazzi wouldn't pick up on so easily since so many other fans do it too.

xxxx Off Stage xxxx

- A supportive power couple, you two help each other out with band activities off stage. You aid him when he practices singing. Kayn giving you tips on how to get keep a good rhythm in your verses, and is also a personal cheerleader for dance practices. You'd help him get connections to other companies that K/DA has collabed with, trying to help Heartsteel succeed! Kayn helps out in his own ways too, sometimes playing tunes in his room for you to sing to. It is all really sweet.

- When he drops by your studio its adorable, it was before Heartsteel's debut and shortly after the peak of KD/A's release. Kayn trying to hide from paparazzi for your sake as he sneaks in through the back. Always in a different cap and sunglasses that he stole from Ezreal, he would wait in the practice room, sitting in a corner and cheering whenever you successfully get a dance move down. The other members don't seem to mind him much, he's now a common presence in the studio. The other girls seem fond of him, happy that you have someone so supportive by your side.

- You try to do the same between your busy training schedule too. Dropping by Kayn's place during band practice evenings, Yone always being the one to let you in since Kayn always sleeps in late. You'd bring snacks and a discerning ear. Your feedback being super useful as you're one of the few people Kayn actually listens to. What Aphelios or Sett say would take multiple attempts and a lot of effort to get through to Kayn, as such, the rest of the gang keep trying to get you to push him to not try to squeeze a "totally sick line" into the rap bridge.

- He doesn't show it off but Kayn has all your merch, you offer to give it to him but he refuses, something about manly pride and supporting his partner, he will spend his own money and time fighting with other fans to buy your merch. A lightstick by his bed, your album on his shelf. A limited edition photocard safely stacked in a top loader on his table (he doesn't have a wallet or else he would totally bring it around.)

- You do the same for him, as one of Heartsteel's first fans you own some of their original merch, simple tees with just their logo, a average blank CD with " Paranoia KAYN MIX" scrawled on in messy marker, they are all your treasured possessions. Kayn even let you keep some of his guitar picks, you have one with a hole punched in as a necklace that you wear when apart from him. Your one secret? You have CDs from when he was in his old band, only the album that he was included in of course, but you don't bring up how you were secretly a fan from his early career. - Sometimes you guys try to go out on dates, risky but fun! 3am walks at the beach, alone together as he plays the acoustic guitar for you by the waves as you sing. Expensive private room dinners at secluded restaurants, walking in, both of you with your hair temporarily dyed black with hair spray dye to try and avoid attention. Small things. Fun things. - It was a little embarrassing when rumors first circulated. Fans somehow finding it cute that Heartsteel can be seen at your shows or how sometimes K/DA gets spotted backstage at Heartsteel concerts. They started to ship members together and when a photo of Kayn looking at you with a soft loving smile was snapped, the internet went wild! *Isn't it cute how they can get Kayn to smile that way!* *Ah! It should be me I want to be them so bad!!!!* Kayn would never admit it to you but he likes all the TikTok video edits of the two of you together, he thinks its really cute unironically.

[imagine-that-100]

Will We Talk? | Part 4 |

Description of Part 1: Alex Turner x Reader | Being Katie Cook’s best friend means you see a lot of a certain band, so it’s too bad that the lead singer can’t seem to stand being in your presence. You’re all too aware that you get chatty when you’re anxious, and despite being around each other for a decade, Alex still makes your heart race (and not in a good way). But then he asks a question you never expected to hear, and it changes everything: “Do I make you nervous?”

Word Count: 18.2k

A/N: It's finally here oh my lord. Once again so sorry my writing takes so long these days but I'm so excited about this chapter. Thank you for the suggestions I got after I dropped the teaser, really appreciate all the help and it got my mind back into writing mode again. After this there's only one part left, but its going to be fun so don't fret. Really hope you enjoy this part, please let me know what you think. Thank you so so much for reading. Enjoy x

| My Masterlist | 

| Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 |

The run up to Christmas was fun. Fucking Alex every other day of the week had been a surprisingly needed stress relief that a month ago you would have never foreseen. Usually the run up to Christmas had you stressed for no reason in particular but this year with your stresses finally being relieved every other night it was so much better than other Christmas breaks you’ve had in a long time. 

Alex had certainly been making the most of your arrangement. It was him texting or calling you asking, “Are you free tonight?” Which may as well be directly translated to ‘Do you want to fuck me tonight?’. Every single time you said yes, not depriving yourself of such simple pleasures and it led to you having a very relaxed holiday season. 

And now Christmas is over and done with, you were excited for tonight’s New Year’s party. So much so that you couldn’t sit at home and just wait to get ready, you ended up texting Katie and asking her if you could help her set up and thankfully she said yes. 

For the past hour you’ve been listening to music and hearing the Cook's Christmas stories of Forest getting all excited when he opened each present. She showed you a couple of videos before Jamie took the little man out for the afternoon while you both got the house ready for tonight. 

Your catch ups are the best and you adore your best friend so much. The gossiping and the giggling never ceases and you’re forever finding new things to talk about, it’s a miracle you’ve not discovered everything there is to know about each other after a decade of being best friends. 

But it turns out there are some things you are yet to discover. Like a certain holiday that was being planned. 

“You’re coming on the impromptu trip away with us, right?” Katie asks, a little out of the blue as if she’s just remembering as she unpeels the Happy New Year banners from each other and handing one to you. 

“Depends, when?” You tell her, knowing the dates of this trip will be the deal breaker if you can go, “I’m back in work on the ninth, remember?”

You’ve joined the Cooks on impromptu trips away before, both with their family and their friends. You’re always invited, which you find thoughtful of Katie and knowing that these trips tend to be very random, you’d started saving money for such events so you didn’t find yourself missing out. The only time you denied yourself was when the trips clashed with work which you hope isn’t the case this time. 

“Oh, we come back on the seventh.” Katie grins, very pleased with what you’ve just said, “You’re coming.” 

“Yeah,” You find yourself giggling at her, knowing she probably wouldn’t take no for an answer anyway. You continue putting up the party decorations as you tell her, “Just let me know how much it is and I’ll scramble it together.”

“Oh no, Alex is paying for us all,” She tells you, as she seems to be having a hard time stretching the balloons out to start blowing them up, “You just need spending money.” 

You immediately frown hearing that, bluetacking the banner on the wall and turning towards your best friend to ask, “What?”

“Alex is paying.” She tells you, “It’s for his birthday. Has he not told you about it yet?”

“No, he’s not mentioned it.” You tell her. 

You figure it’s best to neglect mentioning how the singer only talks to ask how you are before he ends up saying the filthiest things into your ear as he fucks you senseless. Holidays and other things normal friends would talk about are not on the cards. 

He comes over. You fuck. He leaves. Interaction complete. 

“Oh well, he probably expected me to ask you.” Katie shrugs, not thinking much of it, “But yeah don’t worry about the money, he’s paying.”

You’ll see about that, you think as you continue helping your best friend decorate, putting the singer out of your head for the time being. 

~*~*~*~

I need to speak to you 

You text the singer as you’re walking home from Katie’s. You thought about just leaving it but you know if you keep what you're feeling bottled in it will just make you go back into your shell when you’re around him, and that’s the last thing either of you want. 

Thankfully those thoughts don’t have enough time to fester because about 2 minutes later Alex texts you back. 

Christ

Am I in trouble? x

His response makes you roll your eyes as you can practically hear him asking you. You know for a fact he will have snorted when he got the message through and when he typed that one back to you. So you keep him in limbo for a bit. 

You’re not funny 

Phone me when you’re free. 

Thankfully you’re not waiting for ages for the call. Your phone starts ringing as you turn the corner and head down your road. It’s a little embarrassing how excited you are to get back in your house for a bit and just relax until the party later. 

After greeting him, Alex gets straight to the point, “What’s up Y/N?”

“About this holiday,” You start, “Katie told me she wants me to come and I want to know how you feel about that before I start to spiral.”

You can already sense the panic in your chest as you feel like you’re at a bit of a stalemate. You don’t want to let Katie down but you’re also definitely not going to go if Alex wants a break from you. You don’t want to intrude on his holiday. Especially one that’s for his birthday. 

“Don’t spiral.” Alex begs, and you swear he’s also outside as you can almost hear the way he takes a drag of a cigarette before he says, “The last thing we need is you spiralling and questioning everything again.”

You can picture the smile tugging at his lips as he says that. So much so that him finding your panic amusing means that you silently want to scorn him. 

“I’m well aware of that.” You say a little bit too bluntly, so you attempt to soften the blow when you follow up with a rhetorical, “Why do you think I asked you to call me?”

Alex definitely mutes a laugh, covering it by him pretending to clear his throat. To make sure he doesn’t get himself into trouble he distracts you by asking, “What’s panicking you now?”

“The holiday.” You take a deep breath before you start to vent your worries, “Apparently it’s for your birthday, I don’t know if you want me there with what’s going on with us. The fact that you’re apparently paying... I don’t want you paying for me if I come.”

“I did tell Katie to invite you if she wanted to.” Alex reveals. 

“That’s not the point. Do you want me there?” You ask him directly, “I don’t want to intrude on a holiday that’s for your birthday.”

Alex takes a second to answer that, not because it’s a difficult answer but mostly because he wants to know, “If we weren’t sleeping together would you come?”

You think about it for a second and realise that you probably would, but not without speaking to him and asking Katie at least 30 times if you were actually welcome. Not to mention trying not to interact with him much when you were out there. And you certainly would not be allowing him to pay for you. 

“I still would have double checked with you first, or got Katie to. But that doesn’t matter, it’s different now,” You start talking about your reality again, “The dynamic has changed.”

“Y/N, we were friends anyway,” Alex sighs and you’re glad he can’t see the way your face contorted in disagreement. “The only thing that’s different this time is that we’ve seen each other naked.” 

You almost scoff. 

You’ve done a lot more than see me naked, sir. 

Feeling flustered at the memories of him fucking you flooding back to your mind, you just get back to the point, “So, do you want me there or not?”

And you listen to his response as you unlock your front door and get into your house. Feeling the absence of the chill from outside makes the singers answer all the more bearable. 

“I just want you to do whatever you want to. You can come and have a holiday. I don’t expect anything from you if that’s what you’re worried about.” Alex says sincerely, before adding, “And I am paying.”

“I don’t want you to pay Alex,” You whine like a child not getting their own way. But you add honestly, “It makes me uncomfortable.”

And it’s not even just because you’re fucking him, although that is your main concern. It’s the fact that you’ve barely known him properly before now (and you still wouldn’t say you were all that close in any way but physically), you can’t in your right mind let him spend thousands on a skiing holiday for you.  

“Y/N, I didn’t invite you to make you feel uncomfortable.” The singer sighs, feeling like you should know this already. 

He’s not ever excluded you from something before and he’s certainly not about to start doing so now. And he’s not letting you pay for yourself when everyone else who is coming is paid for already. Christ, he doesn’t really know why this is even a conversation when everything has already been sorted and paid for in advance. 

You feel like you’re whining when you again admit, “I know that’s not the intention but I still feel it Alex.”  

“Well, it’s up to you.” Alex shrugs, hoping to convey how much he’s unbothered by the fact he’s paying for a holiday, but he doesn’t want to pressure you. “You’re very welcome to come and I’m paying for everyone, not just you.”

“But-“ You start but then stop yourself. 

Alex immediately questions, “But what?”

He would rather know what’s going on in your head rather than be left guessing. He needs to know how best to reassure you otherwise you both will just regress. And he doesn’t think that wanting for your honesty is too much to ask.

You can’t bring yourself to say it. So you just leave him with silence. 

But that silence speaks volumes. 

“You worried that if I pay for you to come I’m expecting you to shag me?” A few beats of silence pass and as you don’t dismiss him entirely, he already knows it to be true. His question is entirely rhetorical, “That’s it, isn’t it?”

You can’t even confirm it for him. It’s embarrassing to admit, but that is a worry of yours. 

“Y/N.” Alex sighs, knowing he’s right because of your silence. “I don’t expect anything from you, you know that right? You can come away with us and we don’t have to do anything.”

“It’s not compulsory, even when we’re home. Y/N/N, you’re Katie’s best friend, you’ve been around for ten years.” He backs up his point some more, “You came on the last holiday we went on, this is going to be no different to that. My birthday just happens to fall on a day whilst we’re there.” 

“You didn’t pay for me last time Al.” You argue in a slight huff, already feeling like you’re fighting a losing battle. 

“Hey, listen to me.” Alex persists, “I’m paying for everyone to come, not just you, and I’m not expecting a huge orgy all week.” 

You can help the laugh that escapes your lips at that. It’s a full giggle that the singer can’t help but grin at as he takes another drag of his cigarette. 

“There’s that laugh.” He hums, enjoying the sound even more purely because it’s him that’s caused it. 

Only after your laughter subsides, do you ask, a lot calmer now, “Are you sure you want me there?” 

“Yes, sweet.” Alex assures you. And just to convince you some more, he adds, “I need someone to entertain Mrs Cook when I pull Jamie away for a pint anyway. Think you fit the brief.” 

“Ah yeah, I think I could do that for you.” You chuckle a little, but then you’re serious in a soft tone, “I still feel bad that you’re paying though Alex. Skiing holidays are a lot of money.”

“I have a lot of money that I’ll never need.” The singer tells you, and you try not to think about the way anxiety in your chest dissipates when he says, “I’d rather treat my friends to a week away.”

You're his friend. Something so simple shouldn’t make your heart swell. Especially when the other night he tongue fucked you until you came, twice. 

“Well I’m buying you food and drinks whilst we’re away then.” You counter, finally readying yourself to admit defeat. 

“We’re going all inclusive but thanks.” You can almost hear Alex’s smirk. 

You sigh, dropping down onto your settee and leaning back to try and get comfy, “Well I’m assuming we won’t be staying in the hotel for your birthday. They’ll be pubs and cafes I’m sure.” 

He counters, “I’ll take a drink at the airport before we go.” 

“Okay deal.” You accept but know you’ll find ways to do more than just that, “Thank you Alex. You really don’t have to do this.”

“Well I want to.” Alex smiles, and his tone is full of amusement as he says, “And I can’t have you spiralling.”

You hum in a silent laugh at that and let your eyes close as you take a deep breath. You’re about to tell him that it’s just how you are but you’re okay now you’ve spoken about it. But he takes your attention again. 

“You know that this goes both ways right, Y/N/N?” You’re about to ask him what he’s on about until he continues, “If I text you asking to come over, you can say no and I’m not going to be offended by it. I understand that it’s not going to happen every time.” 

He’s talking about fucking you. And trying to make you feel more at ease about your situationship. 

Alex finishes off by saying, “I just ask on the off chance that you’re up for it.”

“I am always up for it.” Are the words that slip from your lips, and when you realise what you’ve said, your eyes shoot open. 

Oh my god woman, you sound so needy. Backtrack now. Now!

You sit up as you begin to pathetically backtrack, “Well. I mean, I- when you say you are, I, I- usually am too.”

“Good to know you’re always up for me, sweet,” You can hear Alex's smirk then, but thankfully he doesn’t tease you more for it he just carries on to say, “It seems like I’m texting you all the time asking to come over but you can text me. You’re allowed to get horny too.” 

You try and fail not to flush at hearing him say that. Especially when you can feel the ghost of his touch as you’re sitting on the settee he had you ride him on a week ago. 

“Alex, you’re over twice a week, if not more... It’s not like I’m without relief for long.” To drive the point home you say, “It’s not a ten month wait again.”

In your little meetings you’d discussed when you’d both last been with someone else. Yours was a guy you were seeing at the beginning of the year who turned out to just not do it for you after you dated him for a few months. 

Alex’s last fling was another rebound of his after the French girl he cheated on Taylor with. Turns out Alex hadn’t been with anyone in the last 5 months which did surprise you a little. But who are you to presume he’d just become a slag after his break up? 

“Still. We started this for a reason.” Alex drives the point home, wanting you to fully understand, “You can say no and you can call me whenever you want too.” 

You nod even though he can’t see you, “I know.”

“Maybe this holiday can just be the friends you’re so persistent we’re not.” 

You frown, confused, “What?”

“Your rule, ‘no sex while we’re away’.” Alex smirks, but he’s sincere when he says, “To make you feel more comfortable. 

“I don’t wanna seem like a prude Alex I just don’t…” You fail to continue your sentence, Wanna seem like a prostitute. 

“I think of all people, I’m not the one who’s going to think of you as a prude, sweet.” The singer can't help but tease, finding himself funny. 

You take a deep breath, trying not to let your amusement or embarrassment show, “So where are we going?”

“The Alps.” The singer tells you almost smugly, “Where else?”

You decide that you may as well ask him for the details if he’s sorting everything out, “When do we go?”

“Early morning of the second, we need to be at the airport for like four.” He tells you after a moment of thought. 

You hum, finally letting the excitement for a holiday bubble in your stomach, “Okay.”

Alex is smiling already hearing you finally sound at ease about the holiday, but he can’t help but push his luck a little more, “You free tonight, sweet?”

“No and neither are you,” You almost laugh, the amusement clear in your voice, “We’ve got Katie’s New Year’s party.”

Alex is grinning as he comes back with, “I mean at like three in the morning.”

“You’re a horny fuck.” You can’t help but tell him as you shake your head. 

You’re entirely unable to stop your face from flushing, making you very grateful he can’t see you. All you hope is he’s picturing you with a completely unbothered yet 

“You’re the one that just said you’re always up for me.” Alex counters and you have to bite your tongue. 

Idiot Y/N. 

“See you later Alex.” You immediately dismiss him, not wanting his teasing right now. 

Alex laughs loudly, “See you later sweet.”

~*~*~*~ January 2nd 2019 ~*~*~*~

The Alps are absolutely mesmerising and you could stare at the snow covered mountains for days. The trip was certainly worth every single ounce of effort and you know you’ll be eternally grateful to Alex for him bringing you all here. 

You’re sure when you first got here you looked like a child in a toyshop. The views are absolutely stunning and you know for a fact that your jaw was agape as you took in the breathtaking scenery around you. 

So much so that Alex turned you towards him at one point and pushed your jaw back up and quietly teased, “Don’t let anyone else see those pretty lips parted like that, don’t want people getting ideas.”

Needless to say, you flushed hearing that and Alex wasn’t subtle about the way he let his smirk take over his face. And then he left you hanging, sauntering off to join Miles, Nick, and Jamie walking just in front of you, leaving you to catch up with Katie, Kristen, and Flo who all joined you for the holiday. 

Alex leaving you like this hadn’t been the only time since you’d woken up early today though. He’d been a tease since he picked you up to take you to the airport, asking if you’d recovered from the previous nights activities where he all but folded you into a pretzel and fucked you until you came on his cock. 

That wasn’t the beginning or end of your antics after the party, he’d teased you at Katie’s party, getting you in the mood and ready for him when he pulled you to a quieter bit of the party and pushed you against the wall to kiss you, taking away any sense but him. And he did it every time to leave you wanting more only for him to pull away and leave you to your own devices for a while. 

So you were desperate when it got to 3am and he was practically pulling you down the road so you could get back to your house. And he certainly did show you a good time until you practically passed out from the exhaustion. 

You woke up late the next morning to a glass of water and some painkillers on your bedside table along with a note that read, Hope you’re not too sore sweet x

It wasn’t hard to guess he probably felt a hint of guilt how far you’d both gone the night before. In the heat of the moment he said somethings about him wanting you to remember him, the feel of him inside you, over the week that you were both away. 

He kept making you regret the no sex on holiday rule. Alex kept saying how you'd be begging him to take you when you got back home, how you’d not be able to walk properly by the time he’d finished with you after a week of not touching him the way he knows your filthy mind craves him.

You're ashamed to admit that your thoughts about him are sometimes so dirty they belong down the gutter. He’d certainly made a good job of having you long for him. 

You try not to admit to yourself that you crave him. That when he decided that he was the one that was going to be sitting next to you on the plane and not Flo, you were happy. Not because you had any issue with Flo, no she was such an amazing friend to you, but because it was Alex. And he wanted to sit beside you. 

The little shit that he was though teased you the whole journey. You were still tired so when you sighed and closed your eyes once you’d relaxed after the take off, Alex whispered into your ear, “Did I work you too hard sweet?”

“Don’t flatter yourself.” You say as you feel yourself flush knowing he was to do with your fatigue. 

You slept in a little on New Year’s Day after you’d taken the painkillers he’d left out for you, but then your day was spent packing for this trip, figuring out what you’d need and calling Katie to double checking on if you’d need going out clothes and doing a checklist of the skiing things you actually own. 

By the time you went to bed it was 11pm and that was far later than you should have been going to sleep because you had to be up at 3am to get ready. So it was do to Alex fucking you hard and long enough on New Years and the fact you had so little sleep last night that you were tired on the plane. 

Next, he’s disturbing your attempt at sleep by him putting his hand on your thigh and leisurely trailing his hand up and down, mixed with him occasionally squeezing. He keeps an eye on your reaction to him, you going stiff for a few seconds and him taking great pleasure in saying, “I’ve done worse than putting my hand on your thigh, sweet.”

“Not in public or daylight.” You huff and try to get yourself comfy enough to get sleepy. 

Looking out of the window just has you mesmerised so after a few minutes you just end up looking around the plane. It's just you and Alex sitting beside each other and for some reason you’re not all that close to your friends. 

Katie, Kirsten, and Flo are all on one row, about 4 seats ahead of you, and Miles, Jamie, and Nick are on the row behind them. You’ve got no idea why you’re so far away from them with the gap of strangers in front of you, but you guess things could be worse. You could be sitting alone or worse, you could be at home feeling like you’re missing out. 

There’s a stranger beside Alex so you’re glad you took the window seat and the views of sun rising through the clouds were amazing. You genuinely wish you weren’t as tired as you were so you could appreciate them fully. 

Instead you’re feeling uncomfortable and whichever way you lean your head isn’t helping you relax. If it's against the wall of the plane you can feel the vibrations, just leaning back does nothing to help and if you do fall asleep like that you’re not risking possibly snoring because your jaw is hanging open, and if you let your head fall forward that’s not good for your posture, not to mention painful. 

Maybe it’s you wriggling in your seat that gives you away, considering his hand is still on your thigh, but Alex seems to pick up on your discomfort easily. 

“You can lean on me to go to sleep, you know?” Alex tells you with a smile, nodding down to his shoulder just beside you. 

“What,” You hold back your sigh but let him know that you’re not all that impressed with his offer after his previous antics, “So you can just try to wake me up even more?” 

“Come on sweet.” Alex chuckles, rubbing your thigh again before squeezing it. “Not my fault you’re not finding it relaxing.”

Pretending that him gripping your thigh didn’t give you flashbacks to the other night, you keep your voice quiet as you raise your eyebrows accusingly, “Because you’re trying to be a tease.”

“And it’s working.” Alex smirks, clearly knowing whatever your tells are by now, he gestures to the back of the plane, “Wanna go to the bathroom?” 

Its a mixture of shock and being entirely unimpressed that has you asking, “Are you kidding?”

“Absolutely not.” Alex grins, holding his chuckle as he asks, “We’re not on holiday yet, technically. We could go again if you're not feeling satisfied enough before we land?” 

You don’t dignify him with an answer, you just shake your head and look away from the tease. While the thought of him fucking you and you having to be quiet because others are around seems like quite the thrill, the mere thought of doing so in a public aeroplane has you wanting gag. 

“What?” Alex fakes his hurt, nonchalantly following up with, “I know you can get horny just after you’ve woken up.”

Your head whips back to him, narrowing your eyes as you scold, “You’re being loud.” 

He wasn’t. His voice was just above a whisper. But the mere fact you were on a plane with the possibility of anyone around you eavesdropping has you getting all embarrassed and flustered in an instant.

“Sorry,” Alex barely holds back his grin. “I’ll be subtle about it when I take you in the bathroom.”

Instead of scowling, you lean your head back on the seat, close your eyes, and take a deep breath so you don’t end up smacking him. Taking a few seconds to calm your anxiousness down and try not to let his joking get you too embarrassed when you know he isn’t trying to be malicious, you just stay like that silently. 

But Alex disturbs your peace, “You don’t have to think about it so intently Y/N/N, we can just do it.”

“No.” You look at him again, and say even quietly to try and further your point, “Not to mention everyone would see.”

Alex can’t help but take that though as you just don’t want to right now. In such a public setting. That’s not you saying that you’d never be ready to join the mile high club.

“Oh okay, remind me to take you on a private jet.” Alex squeezes your thigh again, before winking, “They mind their business on those.” 

You’re lost for words for a brief moment. Taking in exactly what that means, and you end up half frowning. 

“Way to persuade me.” You scoff, “Telling me you’re already in the mile high club.” 

Sarcasm is thick in your voice as you say, “Such a turn on.”

The singer can’t help but smirk though, “Don’t be jealous now, sweet.” 

After that, Alex seems to give you a break from his endless torment. He takes his hand from your thigh as he reaches down to his bag by his feet and takes out the word search book he bought himself in WHSmiths at the airport. Finally you feel like you can relax and sleep for the remainder of the 2 hour flight. 

Or you hoped so anyway, but it seems the vibrations of the plane's wall just wanted you conscious. So it was with a huff you leant back against the headrest once more. 

“Just,” Alex sighs and he picks his hand up to cup the side of your face to gently push your head on his shoulder. 

Instant comfort was an understatement compared to the wall and the seat. But you still felt weird about it. 

You tell him with a sigh, “I don’t want to annoy you.”

“You don’t annoy me at all, Y/N/N.” He dismisses immediately, paying you no more attention after saying, “Go to sleep.”

And so you did. You got a good hour’s sleep and you think it was only when the plane started to make a steady descent that your body woke you up as a result of the decrease in altitude. But you woke up gently and slowly, and you realised you were still on Alex’s shoulder long before you opened your eyes. 

You found yourself not wanting to move. The woody scent of his aftershave leaves you in a little trance all the time and you never want to bring yourself out of it. So you just blinked your eyes open slowly and told your body not to even twitch to give away that you were awake. 

And Alex didn’t notice because you now see he’s entirely too engrossed in his book. Charlotte Bronte’s Jane Eyre.

A true classic, you can’t help but tiredly smile as you see he’s about to get to one of your favourite bits of the book. You following pretty easily for a few pages because he’s holding the book open practically as far as it can go (you’re so tired you can find it in yourself to shudder at the fact the book will definitely have a cracked spine) in one hand, and you only noticed when he turned the pages that his other had gone back to gently resting on your thigh.

Everything is good for about 5 minutes, but then the singer started reading too fast for you at one of your favourite bits, so you end up having to say a quiet, “Go back,” 

“What?” You feel Alex turn his head towards you a little, his jaw gently nudging your head but you don’t make a single effort to move.

“Hadn’t finished the page,” You tell him and Alex can’t help but smile as he turns the page back for you.  

His only indication that you’re ready to move on is the slight nod of your head and Alex even angles the book towards your direction a little more so you can both read. He smiles at the way you haven’t attempted to move from his shoulder at all, seemingly quite comfy. 

You both continue reading together for the next few pages until the same thing happens again where Alex turns the page too soon. This time you whine a little as you whisper, “Too fast.”

“Not had you complain about my speed before.” Alex can’t help but tease when the opportunity is right there for the taking, but all it earns him is a poke in his side which makes him jump and he just about peers down at you seeing you smiling victoriously.

After this you fall into a rhythm of you nodding slightly when you're ready for him to turn the page. It doesn’t bother Alex at all, no it's the opposite, he finds you endearing that you’re both enjoying his book and reading it at the same time. 

The both of you become entirely engrossed in Jane Eyre’s world that you barely even acknowledge that the plane is just about ready to land. It’s only when the air hostess’ voice fills the plane as they announce over the tannoy that you’d be landing shortly, does Alex close the book. 

At the same time you reluctantly pick your head up from his shoulder, Alex offers as he taps the book, “Can borrow it after me if you want?” 

“I’ve already read it, I just love that part you’re on.” You hum, smiling at him in earnest, “Thank you though.”

And both of you know you’re not just saying thank you for that offer, but thank you for allowing you to fall asleep on him. 

The transfer to the resort even had you in awe. But when you got to the hotel and you entered your room, you were blown away by your view. 

The white mountains are stunning and you were so glad you brought your camera. This was something you definitely didn’t want to ever forget. 

The air felt like ice on your skin as you took your pictures, the bitter cold making you want to jump into the private hot tub you have on your balcony. 

You restrain yourself, saving that for later, you opt for a hot shower to settle you after that flight and you end up falling asleep in the warmest queen sized bed. 

You all meet downstairs a few hours later where you get some food and decide that you’re going to all get ready to hit the slopes, you all opting for the red runs for today. They were so much fun and with you skiing, you just find yourself in awe of Flo on her snowboard flying past you all. 

It’s a fun few hours, with you all stopping half way down the slope at one of the cafes on the mountain where you all have a hot coffee, and the lads follow it up with a beer. The lads head off before the rest of you, wanting to be speed demons and race down the rest of the way which you’re all fine with. 

You know Flo will inevitably end up beating them down anyway. Which she of course did. 

Before you set off though, you girls decide that after dinner you’re all going to have a little hot tub party. So that’s how you’re now sinking in the hot tub on your balcony, Katie already in after beating you to being the first. 

You just laugh at her rushing in there to beat you, as you take off your hotel dressing gown to reveal your dark green bikini. Katie says she loves the colour of yours as you glance back around at her and tell her you adore her maroon one. 

But it’s when you step into the tub that Katie gasps, loud enough for you to pause as you stand in the pool of bubbling water. 

“What are they?” Katie points to your thighs with wide eyes. 

Your bruised beyond belief thighs. Dark, almost purple bruises that litter the tops of your thighs which were left by the mouth of the singer next door. 

“Y/N!” Katie yells, her jaw dropped as she looks at the assault on your skin, “What the fuck?” 

“Katie, stop looking at me.” You get all flustered and embarrassed so you're about to sit down, but your best friend grabs your hips to stop you so she can look at the dark marks for longer. 

“Oh my fucking god.” She shakes her head, too shocked by the sheer amount of them. “It’s hard not to when you have those on your thighs Y/N!”

“Please stop, can we just pretend you didn’t see them.” You pry yourself out of her grip and finally immerse yourself into the hot water, loving the chill dissipating from your body. 

“No, I want the gossip.” Katie grabs her glass of prosecco you’d poured her and left on the side of the tub along with yours and the other girls that were meant to be coming shortly. “How’s it been going between you two?” 

“Fine.” You nod with a coy smile as you reach for your glass. 

Your best friend shakes her head, “I’m not settling with fine.” 

“It’s good.” You take a long sip of your drink, knowing you’ll need it if you’re having this conversation, “I guess he keeps me on my toes.”

“In what way?” She prys. 

You think about how to word your feelings for a second. The sound of the jets humming in the cold air fills the brief silence until you end on, “I’m still not used to having a booty call or being one. I still get a text off him and it throws me... He still makes me nervous.”

“That’s good though.” Katie hums and nods, “He’d be boring if he didn’t make you nervous.”

“Yeah, I guess.” You nod in agreement. 

But your best friend enquires, “He’s not making you nervous in general now, right? Just when he comes on to you?”

“No, it's a lot better.” You explain honestly, sinking into the water a little more. “But I’m still not at ease if that makes any sense. I still find him difficult to read.”

“That just comes with time.” Katie nods, understanding you entirely, “When you start spending more time with him, you’ll figure it out.”

“Well that doesn’t really happen,” You mumble a little but seeing as she heard you and noting that sparkle in her eye for the gossip, you explain, “He sort of just shows up and we fuck and then he leaves.”

Katie frowns a little at that though, “Thought he took you out?”

“That was just until I felt more comfortable around him. We’ve not carried that on.” You almost cringe when you say, “We’re just shagging now.”

“And how’s that going?” Your best friend smirks, “The bruises seem like a good sign.”

You sigh, “Yeahhh.” taking another sip of your drink. 

“What was that sigh for?” She calls you out. 

You try to pass it off immediately, “Nothing.”

But she’s not having any of it, “S’not nothing, come on.”

“He was just a tease on the plane but he’s doing it on purpose.” Your cheeks heat up a bit as you tell her. 

“Getting you ready for later.” She grins and gives you some teasing suggestive eyes herself. 

You gently shake your head, “I don’t think so.”

“Oh?” Katie raises her eyebrows, “What does that mean?”

Oh fuck. 

“Don’t make me explain Katie.” You pout. 

She pushes you, “Come onnnn.”

You just sigh in defeat and say, “We’re not doing that right now.”

“Excuse me?” Your best friend is now even more confused. 

“You heard me Kate.” You sigh, closing your eyes not wanting to explain yet another of your stupid thoughts to her. 

For clarity’s sake she has to ask, “Weren’t you with him twice last week?”

“We shagged on Boxing Day and then the 28th and New Years.” You tell her. 

And it occurs to you that you’ve probably not been this active on a regular basis since you were in your late teens. Either you or Alex clearly has the sex drive of a teenager and with the state of your thighs, you think it’s more likely Alex. 

Glancing at the bruises again you can almost feel the ghost of his mouth there. You fall into the daze of remembering the way his lips attacked the tops of your thighs as he fingered you to edge you, not letting you finish until you were begging to have his tongue instead.  

He toyed with you, saying his mouth was already on you, sucking your thighs that bit more before biting them making you whine. But you were desperate to have him eat you out. Have his tongue tease and flick your clit in the way he knows makes you lose your mind. 

And he wouldn’t give in. Not until you were on the edge for the third time, right on the verge of getting bratty with him and making the right decision he compensated by eating you out until you came twice on his tongue. And the way he fucked you afterwards, god, you wish-

“And he’s not touched you since?” Katie’s question shocks you back to reality. 

You blink a few times, and shake your head, “No.” 

She smirks, almost trying to hide it behind her glass, “I bet you’re losing your mind.”

“I feel like it.” You hum, nodding. 

Katie asks, fully ready to big you up to go and knock on his door after your girls prosecco party, “Don’t you want him to touch you?”

“I want nothing more at the minute.” You tell her honestly, “But we’re not doing it until after the holiday.”

She frowns, completely confused, “Why?”

Surely on holiday is on of the best places to fuck? Why wouldn’t you be doing that? Katie can’t help but think. 

“Because he knew I felt uncomfortable about him paying for me to come and I was worried he’d expect something from me.”

“Y/N.” Her face falls and then she gently scorns you, “He’s not like that.”

“I know he isn’t Katie. But you know how my mind works. It worries me.” You shrug, not really being able to help it. 

“Well I thi-“ Katie starts but is interrupted by Florence appearing at the door of your balcony. 

“Hey,” You grin, very thankful for the conversation being cut short. 

Hopefully never to be brought up again. 

“Flo,” Katie smiles and waves her over, “Come in.”

The gorgeous woman walks out and hangs her dressing gown up before running to the tub to escape the chilly air. After commenting on how much both you and Katie like her black, glittery bikini, the artist asks you both, “What were we talking about?”

You try to think of something quickly to change the subject entirely but your best friend gets in there first and grins, “Just how Y/N/N is sleeping with Alex now and she’s seeing if she can go the holiday without.”

You might drown yourself in this hot tub. Can you get any more embarrassed today? 

Flo’s smile is huge as her head whips around to you in shock. You can tell she’s happy for you, presumably for Alex too, but she shocks you when she tells you, “Don’t deny yourself the pleasure.”

You’re so beyond confused by that statement until Katie’s eyes go wide as she gasps, “Fuck, I always forget about you two.”

You blink a few times as you hear her tell Katie that it’s understandable she’d forget because it was before her and Jamie got together. But you’re still in shock, you have to get the clarification, “You and Alex?”

You hope it doesn't sound like you’re annoyed because you’re not, no one even Alex has to tell you anything about this and clearly Flo just found out about yours and her ex’s rendezvous. You’re just confused, clearly Katie forgot but you’ve not even heard any jokes about it or any mention of it before now. 

“Yeah, a long time ago.” Flo nods and is quick to explain as she grabs her glass of prosecco. “Lost our virginities to each other back in college, but started seeing him years later.”

She continues to explain with a roll of her eyes, “But the idiot was seeing me at the same time as Alexa back on their Favourite Worst Nightmare tour so I held my tongue for about a week until I blew up and called him out in front of all the lads…” She adds quickly, “It got ugly.”

It makes your chest go tight. He did that to one of his best friends years ago, and he did to his girlfriend of three years last year. 

You're sincere when you say, “I’m so sorry.”

You feel almost embarrassed to be sleeping with him now. Especially when you’d consider Flo a friend of yours, even before this trip, when you spoke to her about her artwork that she creates at various parties you’ve both attended. She’d always been lovely to you and made you feel entirely at ease. 

And now you’re sleeping with her ex. You need the ground to open up and swallow you whole. 

“Don’t be, it worked out well in the end.” It seems that the artist can’t keep the smile off her face as she finishes her story, “I went to Manchester and Matty and my cousin, Adam, got me through it. And when the time was right and I was healed, Matty asked me out and now we’ve been together for a decade.” Her grin is huge as she proudly tells you, “Married for three and a half years.”

It’s impossible to not be happy for her, her love for her husband shining through so brightly. But you can’t help but ask her, “Why are you still friends with him? Alex, I mean.” 

You can’t imagine anyone betraying your trust that much and being close friends with them years later. 

“Oh, it took a long while and a lot of grovelling on his part. But after two years of barely speaking to him, and with how happy I was with Matty, I forgave Al and now we get on like nothing ever happened.” Flo explains, “I see the other lads too often to let it continue for a lifetime of awkwardness.”

She’s a better person than you. You could never. 

You think out loud. “The lads didn’t know he was two timing you?” 

“No,” She shakes her head, taking a sip of her drink before saying, “They were as shocked as me when Alexa showed up. Only Miles knew, and covered for him.” 

You shake your head, seeing Miles in a completely different light now. But you guess if you’re judging Alex by how he’s only been with you, you have to do the same with Miles. 

“You’re too good. I would never forgive either of them for that.” Katie gives her two cents on the situation. 

“I’ve been told that a lot. By Alex himself too... But despite last year's shit show, he has changed.” Flo assures you, but then smirks, “So enjoy him, queen.”

You sink into the water a bit more, entirely awkward about the way both women are smirking at you. 

“Don’t be embarrassed. He’s good.” Flo giggles, “God only knows that if I didn’t call him out to everyone I would have a hard time choosing between him and Matty.” 

You’re glad she’s such a lovely person and she eases you entirely. 

“Good job you’re married then.” You joke, which makes Katie also spit out her drink laughing and Flo giggles before clinking her prosecco glass with yours. 

“You should see her thighs.” Your best friend laughs. 

You shoot her the dirtiest look, “Katie!”

~*~*~*~ 

Thankfully by the time Kristen arrived the subject of you and Alex had long since been dropped. 

Flo saw your thighs and she told you about how she thinks the man will never truly grow up because he left lots of love bites on her boobs when they lost their virginities, and mercifully after that, the subject moved away and the four of you are now just chilling and listening to your a playlist that’s blaring through your phone. 

You were all giggling at nothing in particular when you got startled by two men at the balcony door. Alex and Jamie come outside in their trunks and Jamie is the one to scoff, “You all thought you could have a party without us.”

Jamie practically jumps in and sits himself down between Flo and Katie, but your attention is drawn to Alex who sinks in beside you and you half find yourself wanting to scurry over to Katie. 

He looks too good. Last time you’d seen him shirtless you were drunk and your memory hazy, but he looks so fucking good and his toned abdomen and his trunks low enough for you to clearly see that V line down to- Stop. 

Stop. 

Thankfully Alex doesn’t seem to notice the way you get a little bit more tense with him beside you. Instead he immediately asks Flo, “How’s Matty, angel?” 

“Yeah he’s good, thanks Shakespeare.” Flo smiles, and despite not understanding her nickname for him, you happily listen in to distract yourself. 

Maybe it’s to do with the Macbeth reference in If You Were There, Beware? You can’t help but wonder. Maybe you’ll ask her later. 

The singer can’t help but ask curiously, “Why didn’t he join us again?” 

“Tour rehearsals.” The artist informs him, “His UK tour starts on the ninth.”

“Fair enough,” Alex nods, clearly completely understanding the situation Flo’s husband finds himself in. “I’m glad we aren’t back on the road till late Feb now.” 

“Bet you are.” Flo smiles at him but when he tunes into Jamie’s conversation, her eyes flick to you and she smirks. 

You sink even further into the water. 

Despite Alex now being beside you, you try not to let your nervous energy take over.  No, instead you carry on as normal and have some of the funniest conversations with the people around you. You’re only thrown off when you realise that an old Arctic Monkeys song comes on through your phone and your eyes go wide when Jamie sighs, “I haven’t heard this song in so long.” 

Immediately, you tense hearing the guitar and drums at the start of Bigger Boys and Stolen Sweethearts. Fuck, this is why you don’t normally have your music on around Katie, so you don’t have this awkward interaction.

“Sorry, I didn’t realise it was in this playlist.” You say, immediately turning to reach for your phone.

Liar. You feel Alex’s eyes screaming at you, as he looks amused at the fact you like his music, as if he already didn’t know. 

“Keep it on.” Jamie tells you, and you hesitate for a split second feeling Alex’s eyes on you until his friend continues to say, “Complete nostalgia of playing it at yours Al.” 

“Yeah, it’s a gooden.” Alex smiles.

“Who was this one even about Al?” Flo asks, entirely amused, thankfully stealing the singer's attention away from you so he doesn’t see you starting to fidget, really not wanting the song to stay on.

Your knee is twitching, your foot tapping on the floor of the jacuzzi like you can’t sit still at all. Thankfully the water and the bubbles will be enough to stop you from being noticed though.

“Just that girl I fancied back in Year 11.” Alex explains, “She was in your English lessons, I think she was called-“

If you were to tell the story again, you wouldn’t have been able to name the girl at all. Just that Alex really liked her in school and never got the courage to ask her out and then some guy who was in the year above them in school ended up going out with her. 

The conversation moved on and easily past that and your awkwardness about the man you’re sleeping with catching you having his song on your playlist eases off. But then, about 10 minutes later, it happens again. 

“Fuck my life,” You whisper immediately reaching to grab your phone this time. 

Because this is so much worse. 

It’s not just that Piledriver Waltz has started to play. It’s even more embarrassing that it's the Submarine soundtrack version of the song, it’s just Alex. Not even Arctic Monkeys.  

“Didn’t know you enjoyed my music this much, sweet.” Alex can’t help but once again tease you. Finding your reactions too entertaining not to. 

The panic in your eyes when the first Monkey's song came on, but the way you swore under your breath at this one just made him want to burst out laughing. You look absolutely mortified, and clearly not wanting to get any extra teasing from himself or your friends which you were likely expecting.

But Alex isn’t one to disappoint. So of course he teased you. 

You can’t help but narrow your eyes at him, “In the nicest possible way, fuck off.” Before you quickly look for a playlist that is safe and doesn’t have any of his songs on there. 

“It’s all good Y/N.” Alex smirks, “It’s good to know I’m doing something right.”

His hand comes to rest on your thigh to stop your leg from tapping. You swallow, stopping your movements and taking a deep breath to not let it get to you that the others could see his hand on your thigh. Although you’d rather them see his hand there than the bruises he’s left. 

Thankfully the bubbles disguise it from everyone else and no one comments, but just as you ask, “What album do you want to listen to?” Miles and Nick turn up at your door with more alcohol in their hands and everyone beckons them in. 

Which is an issue for you because the hot tub is probably only meant to have 4 people in it at the most and now there’s 8 of you. So you’re unsure why it’s you and Kirsten that have drawn the short straws, but you’ve both been pulled into the laps of who you’re sleeping with. But one second you were seated closely beside Alex, and now you’re sitting on his lap, your arm having to go over his shoulder so you don't slip off as you lean into him a little. 

Kirsten and Nick, you understand, they are married. Flo not sitting in Miles’ lap, you again understand because they aren’t together. What you don’t understand is why Katie isn’t on her husband's lap when they are married and have a child. But you, who has been sleeping with this man for less than a month, has been pulled onto his lap to make more room for everyone. 

All of a sudden you feel like you’re holding your breath and can’t relax. After being submerged in the warm water for so long, most of your top half being exposed to the crisp air makes you chilly and your thighs feel far too close to the surface of the water so you feel your hands in your lap to try and disguise the bruises. 

Thankfully one of Alex’s arms comes to rest across your thighs too and he holds your thighs again. And you can’t help slipping back into that little daydream of yours. 

Of the way he pried your thighs open, as if you weren’t already willing and dripping for him. As if you weren’t begging him to eat you out anyway. And when he finally gave into your demands his fingers only dug into your skin more, holding you open entirely at his mercy. 

And when he worked you up and up until he had your back arching and his name caught in your throat as you pulled harshly on his hair. He kept going, eating up everything you had to give him until you were writhing beneath him entirely overstimulated. 

After he blissfully tortured you like that, he kissed his way up your body until you could taste yourself on his tongue. And that only lead to him fucking you till you could barely move. His cock made you see stars when he hooked his arms under your legs and moved them closer to your chest. 

The pleasure he drove into you over and over was blinding, you saw white when you came. The only thing you can remember is the way Alex groaned into your ear when you clenched around him and the way he moaned when you tugged on his sweaty hair. And the way he bit your shoulder when he got his release not a minute later. 

Not to mention the way he flipped you over when you both caught your breaths and he fu-

“I can feel you.” Alex's whisper startles you out of your memory and your eyes snap to the man you were daydreaming about. 

You all but jump off his lap, your heart racing ten to the dozen feeling like you’ve been caught red handed. But you keep calm, not letting your cheeks heat up to give you away. 

“Feel what?” You ask him, the shock slowly disappearing from your face. 

“Your pulse,” Alex tells you in a low voice, his grip on you tightening, “On my thigh.”

And it dawns on you what he means. You’re fucking throbbing, completely aching at the thought of him. And he can fucking feel you. 

Fuck offfffffff. Men can actually feel that?!

No. No. No. 

“Don’t know what you’re talking about.” You play dumb, having to because you don’t think you’ll be able to look at him again if not. 

Not that you can right now, you just look at Flo and start listening to her, Miles, and Kirsten’s conversation. Meanwhile praying to every god that there is that you calm the fuck down and you stop being horny immediately. 

“Course you don’t, sweet.” Alex kisses your shoulder and his lips linger on your skin as he smirks, “Just like you can’t feel me.”

You’re about to ask him what he means until he shifts you against him more and you can feel his erection pressed against your thigh. He’s hard. Really hard. You have to hold in the sound you want to make. 

Why the fuck did you want this ‘no fucking’ shit. You can’t stop thinking about him. The way you want to kiss him. The way you want him in your mouth. The way you want him to fill you up and fuck you like it’s the last time you’re ever going to be able to. 

You don’t even realise what you’re doing until Alex grunts in your ear, “I’d stop wriggling unless you want me to fuck you in front of these lot.”

Your thighs press against each other and you pray Alex didn’t feel that too. Despite him definitely noticing, Alex didn’t say anything, didn’t tease you any more and you just about managed to have a conversation with Flo about how she’s joining her husband on his tour and how she’s going to stay in Sheffield for a while after to see her best friend. 

But it’s not long after that, the alcohol runs dry and everyone notices the time. Nick and Kirsten are the first to leave, followed by Katie and Jamie, and when you don’t move from Alex’s lap (because he won’t let you, his hands clutching you tightly after you tried to move when the first couple left. Clearly doesn’t think the bubbles will  hide his hard on) Flo and Miles are the last to get out. 

Miles gives you both a cheeky smile and he helps the artist out of the tub and hands her the dressing gown. Both of them say bye to you and Alex but Florence gives you a teasing look as she leaves, seeming to scream at the both of you, have funnn. 

Your jaw locks and you very subtly shake your head at her, trying your absolute best to keep the smile off your face and show your strength. And you’d say you do well, you shout an unbothered bye to the direction they went and only when you hear your bedroom door thud shut does Alex’s hold on you go slack. 

And finally you release the breath you were holding and grab the side of the tub to stand up, needing off this man's lap before you do something you’ll regret. Abandoning your empty prosecco glass you just get yourself stood up when the singer stops you. 

“Where are you going?” Alex gently grabs your wrist and pulls you back to him, the water sloshing as you fall back towards him. 

“Alex,” You sigh as he moves you so you’re straddling him, but before you can even protest his mouth finds yours. 

His kiss takes your breath away, and he doesn’t give you time to think. He just wants you to feel. 

Alex attacks you with long kisses, three of them that have you forgetting that you were even trying to get away. It’s as if something ignites in you both, the mere connection of your lips has your skin erupting in goosebumps, and they aren’t from the contrast with the hot water and the cold air. 

But you seem to get some perspective and much to Alex’s disappointment, you pull back from the kiss. But he doesn’t let you go far at all, his hand on the back of your neck keeps you close enough your foreheads are resting against each others. 

“It’s just a kiss.” Whispers the man who’s got your heart racing, his hand pulling your neck that bit closer hoping you’ll kiss him again. 

“It’s never just a kiss with you,” You breathlessly reply, gently shaking your head, your nose rubbing against his. 

When he pulls you back for another kiss you can’t deny yourself the simple pleasure. Because it is never just a kiss. 

And it isn’t, because you’re not sure what this one is laced with, but you’re addicted. You don’t want to stop for a single second, especially not when he grabs your hips with both hands and pulls you against him properly. 

Your back arches, your chest against his now and he can feel your peaked nipples through your bikini top. He can’t help but groan, he’s been wanting to feel them against him in some capacity since he saw them through your bikini top when he lifted you onto his lap and you got cold and his head filled with filth about you. 

About how he wanted to pinch them between his fingers so you’d make that noise he loves. About how he couldn’t stop thinking about his head being back between your thighs when he spotted the bruises he’d left there. About how he wanted nothing more than to tease you in front of his friends, to see how far he could push you out of your comfort zone. And after he could feel you throbbing on his thigh he wanted nothing more than to make you cum over and over again. 

This kiss turns hard and hungry and it takes you enough by surprise that if you were standing you’d have stumbled back with the force of it. As you’re on his lap though, you can’t escape and you don’t for a second want to. Alex’s hands move your hips so you start grinding on him and both of you moan at the friction. 

You hope that the rumble of the jets hides them from anyone other than the two of you, and you pray to every god that Katie and Jamie haven’t decided to go into their hot tub as they are the room beside yours. Despite the wooden panelling hiding the balconies completely from potential neighbours, you need to keep quiet. But it’s so difficult when he’s making you feel so good. 

The more you grind against him, the more you can feel your stomach tighten with need. The way Alex is dragging you against his cock just makes you worse, your clit finally getting the friction it’s been aching for.  

Minutes pass of your whining, gasping, and mewling as he encourages you, taking handfuls of your arse to pull you towards him as he bucks his hips up into yours. His moans motivate you more, your hips now erratic in search for relief as he kisses you. 

Alex licks into your mouth like he can’t get enough of the way you taste. His groans spur you on, and his hand moving up to the middle of your waist has you arching into his chest again, and he can’t help but move his hips in time with yours, loving the little whines that escape your pretty lips. 

But he needs to hear more, so when you tug on his hair, and he bucks up into you, he bites your bottom lip when you moan so he can muffle it with his own lips. He smirks when he pulls away and he grabs your face, his thumb and index finger pressing your cheeks together as he grinds you against him again, his fingers digging into your hip ensuring it. 

The moan you let out for him then, you can’t suppress, and by the way Alex’s eyes seem to sparkle with delight shows you just how satisfied the sound makes him. Like it was intent all along to have you be loud for him.

“Do I feel good, sweet?” His voice a low whisper that has your throat bobbing.  

The singer kisses his way up your jaw before biting your earlobe, and he clearly wants an answer, “Well?” His hand falling from your cheeks to your neck and the slightest pressure has your head in pieces. 

“Mmm.” You hum in agreement pulling back enough to grab his jaw and bring his lips back up to yours. 

You refuse to let him mark your neck up again, no matter how good his lips feel on your throat. And at this point you know he’d do it just to get the both of you caught to see if you could withstand your friends teasing. 

This between you carries on for longer than it should. But that pull, that spark, between you, now ignited neither of you can get enough. 

“You like knowing you get me this hard, just from seeing the bruises I left on your thighs?” Alex rasps, as he kisses slowly down your neck. 

At this point, you think you’d do just about anything to have his lips on you or on your skin somehow. It’s addicting. So much so that you don’t remember the silly rule that you agreed upon, especially when Alex moves his hand  

“From seeing these,” Alex hums against your neck as his thumbs circling both your nipples through your bikini. “I can still feel them on my chest from the other night.”

His lips trail down your neck and the top of your chest and he kisses over your skin and his hands grab at you that bit tighter as he says, “I want my mouth all over you, sweet.”

His thumbs hook into your bikini top and he pulls both cups to the side, leaving you bare for him. His lips are on your breast in a second and the other he kneads in his calloused hand. 

Your head falls back, a moan falling freely from your lips as you grind yourself onto his cock as he sucks your nipple. Needing as much friction as you can get because you could easily finish like this if he carried on. But god, you want him inside you instead. 

Picking your head up, your fingers tug in his hair encouraging him as his right hand now grabs your arse again making you move on him. Fuck, you could cum just from this, easily if he carries on. 

He swaps to your other tit, lapping at it and savouring the sweetness of your skin and he can’t help but moan when you rut against him again. God, he just wants to have you like this forever, just free of inhibitions and completely giving into your desire. 

“Well, sweet? You like knowing what you do to me?” He teases, but he takes it a step further and he reaches between you and he presses circles onto your clit through your clothes, “That I like feeling this greedy thing throbbing on my lap for me?”

The sound you let out is guttural and completely obscene. To mute it you harshly pull his hair so you can press your lips against his to quieten yourself. But fuck knows if he even helps. 

His sweet torture continues and you feel the tension forming in your lower stomach, flames scorching your limbs, all caused by the man who’s name falls from your lips in desparate pleas, “Alex.”

His kiss is hot and heavy like a man starved, like he could never get enough of you. His hands claiming you is something promise you’ll never deny yourself the pleasure of again, those magic fucking fingers have you seeing stars. Each swipe of them against your clothed clit pushes you closer towards that delightful edge. 

“I- Al, oh.” Fuck. You’re going to finish, this is it and it’s going to shatter you entirely. 

His warm hands on you, the feeling of his chest rising and falling against your own, his body heat making your nipples perk from the stimulation. And his fucking cock that you’re aching to have inside you, he’s so hard all you can think about is reaching down and moving your costume to the side so you can line him up and fill you to the br-

So consumed with your thoughts and your erratic hips chasing the orgasm you're on the verge of having you miss the singer mumble against your lips, “Okay, that’s enough.”  

You only register when Alex’s hand now holds your hip to stop you from moving and you hear him say, “Stop, sweet.”

“No,” You helplessly whine, entirely cockdrunk at this point, wanting him too badly and you kiss him deeply again. 

But Alex only entertains the kiss for another second, before he pulls away and to stop your lips from following his again, he holds your jaw, “If you keep kissing me, we’re not going to make it another minute.”

You’re so breathless you barely understand what he means. But as you take a minute to get some oxygen back into your system you realise what you’ve done and god you want to lock yourself up and throw away the key. 

“I’m sorry.” You swallow, looking away from his gaze. 

“Don’t apologise.” Alex shakes his head, and you note he’s just as out of breath as you. And he gently readjusts your bikini so it’s covering your modesty again as he says, “We agreed on your rule, sweet, don’t wanna break it on day one now, do we?”

It’s his smirk that he gives you as he says the end of that which makes you say, “You’re a bully.”

Because he’s got you all hot and bothered, only to completely edge you and use ‘your rule’ as an excuse to leave you right on the brink. God you could absolutely throttle him. But knowing Alex, he’d enjoy it, so you keep your hands to yourself. 

The singer just laughs, “You love it.” And he taps your arse under the water to prompt you to stand up so he can too. 

Jesus Christ it’s only now that you realise how perishing the cold is, you practically jump out of the tub and run for your dressing gown before heading to the door. And you’re kind enough to hold the door open for Alex as he wraps his towel around his shoulders. 

It’s only now that you gulp seeing just how little the swim shorts disguise his erection. Standing at attention is an understatement, and there’s a little spark of pride that scorches your blood knowing you’ve caused that. 

You don’t let your eyes linger, but you know from the smug smirk on his face as he walks through the door that he’s caught you looking. And the prick opens his mouth, probably to bully you once more but you beat him to it as you close and lock the balcony door. 

“You don’t care about the rule, why’d you stop when I was clearly enjoying myself?” You ask as you follow him to the door to your room. 

“Because you were dead set about not wanting to before we came.” Alex tells you sincerely, and you can’t help your heart from warming that little bit as he looks you in the eye and says, “I don’t want you regretting anything between us.” 

Swallowing down the smile you want to plaster all over your face, you tell him, “I don’t regret what just happened, for the record.”

“Good.” Alex smiles, walking the last few steps to your door. And the singer is about to open it before he pauses, turns back and tells you, “Oh, and don’t get yourself off.” 

Immediately you frown a little. It’s a miracle your words don’t come out as a scoff, “Don’t think you have that authority.” 

The smirk that comes to those pretty swollen lips and the way his eyes darken is something that needs capturing in a museum. Fucking hell it’s definitely banked away in a certain area of your mind. 

“I could just fuck you now if you’re going to do that.” Alex raises his eyebrows, and you can tell he’so putting the offer out there. 

But after him saying it’s only day one, you’re definitely not giving in now. A week without fucking him. You can do it. You just can’t fucking slip up again. How embarrassing of you to have given in to your temptations only mere hours after your holiday began. 

Alex seems to understand your thoughts entirely so he quickly saves himself from a scolding,  “Think of it as being edged instead, don’t touch yourself. It’ll make next week more fun.”

Your still fucking throbbing for him, aching isn’t even the right word for the need for relief you’re feeling. It looks like your bullet won’t be being used while you’re away after all. But if you’re showing restraint, you certainly won’t be the only one. 

You nod, the corner of your lips tugging up a little seeing Alex smile down at you and as he reaches from the door handle to let himself out, you surprise him by saying, “Don’t touch yourself either then.” 

He looks at you again, his eyes entirely full of surprise that you’ve given him an order. But he’ll do it for you. He won’t be a double standard, so he agrees.  

Although when he opens the door and takes a step out, and you tell him, “Go get a cold shower.” He loves your brattiness.  

“Could share one of those?” Alex offers as he takes a step back towards you, his eyes bright and full of mischief as he smirks down at you. 

All you can think is, And end up having a repeat of the first time you were in the shower with him? No chance. 

“See you tomorrow, Alex.” You smile, placing a hand on his bare chest and pushing him towards the door perpendicular to yours. 

Alex chuckles, blowing you a teasing kiss, “Goodnight, sweet.”

~*~*~*~ January 4th 2019 ~*~*~*~

To say that the next couple of days were positively torturous would be a massive understatement. The cold shower you had after Alex left your room that first night didn’t do much to calm you down, the ache between your thighs didn’t disappear until well into the night of you tossing and turning in bed. 

At one point you were ready to march into his room and tell him how unfair it is to leave you on edge like that, and that it was unfair because you’d be so pent up that you’d have a miserable holiday. But then you’d realise you’d see the singer's smug smirk and he’d say something along the lines of, ‘You’re so greedy that you come begging me to get you off, is that it? You can’t go even a few hours without me, can you not? You poor sweet thing.’ 

So you chose to stay warm in bed, following his direction of not getting yourself off and you eventually fall asleep. You swear though that if he got himself off and didn’t stick through this with you, you’d be absolutely fuming. 

And you can’t help but be pleased when Alex eventually joins you all for breakfast the next morning, and he made a thunderstorm look appealing. ‘In a mood’ would be an understatement. The singer looked like he hadn’t slept a wink, he hadn't even bothered with his hair, it was still dishevelled, and his glum, tired face had a smile tugging on your lips.

Good. You like knowing you’re not the only one who felt absolutely tortured.    

You had to hide your smirk by taking a drink of your orange juice, sipping it through the straw as your eyes linger on the singer who looks like he could commit a murder if his breakfast was served wrong. Clearly though, you’re not being as slick as you thought you were hiding your amusement by taking a drink because when Alex’s eyes lock with yours he sees the knowing in them. 

Instead of shying away from him though, you stare straight into his eyes and let your smirk show when you pull your drink out. You even raise your eyebrows at him entirely enthralled that he looks so much worse than you this morning. Looks like it’ll be cold showers for him for the foreseeable future.  

Alex couldn’t help but find you equally as amusing that morning at breakfast. The smile stayed on your face for the entirety of your meal and he could tell that seeing him so affected by the lack of your company had somehow boosted your confidence. So, pent up he may be, but he’d suffer in silence for as long as he needed to see that smug look on your face once more.  

Alex made sure his teasing continued throughout that day and the next. His flirting and lingering looks had you more on edge than usual thanks to the fact you felt entirely touch-starved, but you couldn’t deny that he had your heart racing. 

On the slopes he would sometimes wait for you if he wasn’t racing the boys or Flo down the mountain, to make sure you got down alright and there would be flirting when you’d stopped at the cafe’s that were half way down the slope. And he had you buy him the promised drinks that made you come on this holiday in the first place so you were happy keeping your end of that bargain. 

He really made you smile today when you had a bit of a fall on the slope. He watched you fall but he stopped right beside you and made sure you were okay before getting you back to your feet and he went down the slope as by your side as he could get. And when you both reached the bottom, he played into checking you over, being cheeky and saying he’d have to get the layers off you to make a complete and thorough check. Something which of course you rolled your eyes at but you couldn’t keep the smile from your face. 

When you walked out of your room each night dressed to go for dinner he told you how gorgeous you looked in your dress when he saw you, whether that be him stepping out of his room at the same time coincidentally or when you walked down with Katie and he was waiting for you with the other lads. Tonight was the latter and the way he looked you up and down made you feel all tingly inside.

And this evening at dinner he sat beside you and when you were waiting between courses, Alex rested his hand on your thigh, and it wasn’t at all to try and rile you, he seemed to just want to be affectionate. And Flo is right, why would you deny yourself that pleasure. 

You know you’re nowhere near a relationship, or possibly even heading into that direction. But this fun you’re having with him, it doesn’t mean you can’t take comfort from the small meaningful gestures that you’ve found that you’ve missed since your last relationship. 

So yes, you’ve adored the flirting, and matched his energy entirely by giving him back as much as good as you’ve got which grants you access to that cheeky smirk you’re starting to love being the cause of. You pretend like your heart doesn’t do something stupid when he’s affectionate and you’ll continue to act like you aren’t dying for him to touch you and kiss you and fuck you until you’re back home. 

And all of this is the reason why right now, you’re absolutely seething at yourself. Why you’re now at this bar, side-eyeing the man who’s had you at whit's end for the past few days wanting god to do you a favour and stop what you’re seeing. 

You hate it, you absolutely hate it. Seeing Alex’s hand on her hip, the way he smiles at her as she’s talking, and the way he’s making this random girl laugh. 

It’s been at least 15 minutes now since he went up to the bar to get himself another drink and left your group at the few standing tables in the corner which you’d all claimed. And when you looked over after 5 minutes of him disappearing, you saw him at the bar talking away with possibly the most gorgeous woman you’d ever seen. 

Intimidated isn’t even the word you could use to compare yourself to the stunning woman. She’s just everything you’re not. Clearly she's confident to speak to a stranger normally and not at 100 miles per hour because she’s nervous. She’s absolutely gorgeous with the complete opposite hair colour and style to yours, and her dress accentuates all of her features perfectly, leaving little to everyone’s imagination but she’s so gorgeous and fearlessly self assured, there’s no way you could possibly compete with a woman like her. 

Your chest sinks because it’s so easy for you to realise just how jealous of this woman you are. Not just because she holds Alex’s attention and you want that back for yourself, you’re just hit with that intimidatingly jealous feeling you’ve not experienced for such a long time. And it’s such a dirty feeling, you really judge yourself for it. 

Because you’re well aware you’re not in a relationship with the singer. Yes you’re fucking each other but he could easily call that off at any point, especially on holiday when you’ve established you’re not sleeping with each other and that will make your self esteem plummet and not to be dramatic but you’ll more than likely never put yourself out there again, and you think that is valid enough if that’s how this night ended.   

To make it worse, the ladies you’re with, your close friends can clearly see that you’re slipping into a foul mood. A few times you’ve been asked what’s wrong, and you’d have to tune back into conversations and plaster a fake smile on your face because you’ve got so stupidly in your head about all of this. 

It was only when Katie followed your gaze to the bar did she realise what was making you slip into a bad mood. On the down low, when Kirsten and Flo were having their own conversation, Katie said, “Y/N/N?” 

“Hmm?” You hum, tearing your eyes away from a laughing Alex and the stunning woman.  

You look at your best friend as she seriously asks, “What are you waiting for?” 

Immediately, you’re confused, “What?” 

Katie can’t help but laugh to herself a little as you’re being so blatantly obvious to her. And she can’t lie, she secretly loves seeing you jealous, because she’s never witnessed it before. And the mere fact you’re being silently possessive over Alex is all the more amusing to her. 

“Just go and get him.” She encourages you, seeing that you’re holding your glass of wine that little bit too tight.  

She understands that you’re probably that bit more jealous too because you are bordering on being a little bit drunk. Your tolerance is slightly better than hers and she knows that you’ve drank near enough the same amount so she’s very aware how your thoughts are probably being manipulated by the alcohol. 

“No, if he wants to play he can,” You tell her and put on a brave face, turning away from him now in an attempt to not shoot daggers at him with your eyes, “He just won’t be getting me again afterwards.”

And you mean it. You won’t get caught up in that STD mess waiting to happen. Condoms or not. It’s a no from you. 

You drink with the girls a bit more then, the other lads make you laugh too but after a few minutes you become all too aware again that there’s a missing piece. And it’s like a wound to the chest when you see he’s still there talking to that woman and they seem to be standing that little bit closer, smiles still on both of their faces. 

Something about it hurts, and not due to the fact he’s being flirted with. It mostly gets to you because he’s being so kind to someone he’s just met and you only got that side of him after a ten years and only when you called him out for his behaviour. It makes your heart sink a little, you just don’t know why he wasn’t ever this friendly toward you when you were first introduced, yet he can be so kind, smiley, and flirty to a complete stranger. 

Up until 6 months ago, Alex would barely hold a conversation with you and something about that always hurt. The effort you’d make only for it to go unreciprocated when he probably knew how much it took for you to not be socially awkward around him. It’s a blow to your chest and to your ego. 

And to make it worst, he’s flirting with this girl as if you haven’t been fucking each other for a month and he didn’t almost fuck you in the hot tub the other night. As if the bruises he left on your thighs aren’t still very prominent and he didn’t edge you, leaving you craving every little bit of him for the last two days. And now he’s flirting with someone that isn’t you. 

And you can’t even blame the woman for flirting with him. He looks impeccable this evening. He’s in a black suit with a black shirt and he looks incredible. Like you’d do just about anything for him to pull you aside in this darkened bar and for him to whisper filthy promises in your ear before his lips find yours and he takes your breath away all over again. 

But you’re not so lucky. And your mood worsens when you see the bartender come back with two drinks in his hands and he places them in front of the pair. But it’s when Alex gets his card out and seemingly pays for both does your heart drop. 

Has he just fucking bought her a drink?

You blink a few times and force yourself to look away. The feeling that’s settled in your stomach not being one that you want to ever be feeling. Jealousy is such an ugly emotion and you wish it wasn’t running through your veins right now so you try and breath through it, letting the thoughts pass you by as quickly as they come.  

The people that know you best though, can see you’ve sort of checked out from the conversations surrounding you, and you’re staring out of the window at the snow that’s beginning to gently fall. Your best friend knows it’s not the same zoned out as you were awestruck when you first arrived on this holiday though, it’s due to you being in your head because of the man at the bar. 

And it seems Katie isn’t the only one, because Flo asks Mrs Cook quietly, “Should I go tell him?”

Katie notes that she nods over towards the bar, but your best friend immediately shakes her head.  

“No,” She tells her, “Let him dig his own grave.”

Because after everything last year, she wants Alex to prove himself worthy of having her best friend. She knows you deserve something good, and despite being 99% sure that Alex is just being polite to a fan at the bar, she wants him to prove that he wouldn’t ruin this good thing that you both have going for the sake of another woman who could pass as a model.  

So Katie distracts you, getting another glass of wine down you is easy to do and she has you giggling with her and Flo again. 

While you adore your friends for their distraction tactics, Alex and the stunning woman linger in your mind, and you feel like you need a second to quieten those intrusive thoughts. So you head to the toilet in hopes to clear your head but when you hold the sink and look at your reflection the clarity that hits you is that you’re drunk and probably (most definitely) overreacting, and you just find yourself wanting to close your eyes. 

So that’s why when you make your way back to your friends, who Alex is still not with, you decide your night is done. 

“Guys, I’m going to head back.” You tell all of them, “The wine has gone to my head and I’m so tired after today.”

Each and every one of their faces fall and they all start a little bit of a commotion, shaking their heads and shout over each other drunkenly pleading with you not to go. But it’s a singer who is the one that complains the loudest. 

“Noooo come on, Y/N/N.” Miles throws an arm around your shoulder, pulling you into him as he says, “Party with us.”

You smile at him but there’s no way you’ll be giving in. You need your bed. And to get away from Alex and the stunning woman taking all of his attention at the bar. 

“Miles, you saw the fall I had earlier today,” You almost wince at the memory, “I’m knackered and just wanna get in bed so I’m good again tomorrow.”

“I’ll walk you back.” Jamie offers but immediately you shake your head, having none of it. 

“No, you’re having a great time, stay out. Have fun.” You smile, giving him a look to say ‘do not put on your coat’ as you put on your own. 

You’ll be perfectly fine getting back by yourself, everywhere is lit well enough to make the 5 minute walk back feel safe. And you could certainly use the time to clear your head. 

So you just smirk, wrapping your coat around you and downing the last of your white wine. And you grin, “I'll see you all hungover for breakfast in the morning.”

They all laugh at your little joke, knowing it’ll more than likely come to fruition, before they pull you into hugs goodbye. Flo, you realise, gives the best hugs out in the group, and she holds you tightly as she whispers in your ear, “Are you sure?”

You don’t hesitate to nod, “Positive.” 

She pouts a little as you pull away from the hug but you give her a kiss on the cheek and tell her to have another drink for you which makes her giggle and she promises she will. And then the only person left over here you have to hug is your very drunk best friend, and Katie all but smothers you with her bear hug. 

God you adore your best friend so much. Or you do until she easily reads between the lines and questions your actions. 

“This isn’t to do with Alex, is it?” She asks, pouting like she’s both angry and upset, “Because you can’t let him spoil your fun.”

You hate that she knows you so well, but wanting to go back to your hotel room is only marginally to do with Alex at this point. You know if you drank anymore tonight you’d be worse for wear tomorrow and you don’t want to ruin this precious holiday by staying in your room wanting to throw up. 

“No, I'm just tired.” You lie, trying not to even think about the fact that Alex not really giving you any attention and flirting with another girl was what triggered your bad mood in the first place. You tell her, “I just wanna get some sleep.”

“Okay queen.” Katie nods before she pulls back and she looks into your eyes to seriously tell you, “Text me as soon as you get back to the hotel, okay?”

“I will.” You promise her and after she gives you another hug, you turn to leave. 

You avoid looking anywhere near the bar even though you have to pass it to leave, but you’re quick and you leave out of the side doors and make it down the stairs fairly quickly. The automatic doors expose you to the cold air quickly and you’re so thankful you chose your long, navy dress this evening, even if you were regretting the slit in it that comes up to just above your knee when the wind hits you.  

Thankfully, your ‘going out coat’ is a long one, coming down to just past your knees, and would retain most of your body heat, so as you walk towards the doors you start to slowly button it up. But your buttons aren’t cooperating, they won't go through the bloody buttonhole. Clearly nothing wants to go right for you this evening.

And you end up not paying attention to where you’re going as you walk out of the bar, you don’t realise that the smoking areas out front has gotten busier so you end up turning to head back to your hotel and you bump into someone at quite a little bit of force. Immediately, you end up almost slipping too, not realising that the ground has become slippy too thanks to the fresh snow landing and melting. But before you fall arse over tit, you're saved by your own victim. The poor man you bumped into.  

“Oh god, I’m so sorry.” You say as you grab onto his tattooed arm that stabled you. 

And it’s only when you’re sure you’re steady on your feet do you look at the exquisite man. A gasp almost leaves your mouth at just how attractive he is. The strong jawline, the short black hair, the sun kissed skin, and possibly the most stunning eyes you’ve ever seen in your entire life. They are such a gorgeous shade of blue they almost look purple, and God, you half wish you could stare into them all night.  

“No worries,” The man holding your arm says, and once he’s satisfied you can stand properly again, his eyes drop to take you in. 

It makes you feel like your heart is in your throat for the two seconds he checks you out, but under the stare of those gorgeous eyes, it feels like it lasts an age. You can’t help watching as a small smirk forms on his lips, clearly pleased with what he sees and when his eyes meet yours again, you feel like your knees could fall from under you again if he wasn’t still holding you up. He’s dream worthy.

His fingers move down your wrist and he gently comes to squeeze your hand as he smirks but endearingly says, “Careful darling.” 

Immediately, the pet name makes you flush, and under his gaze you feel like you’re vibrating somehow, and you realise just how badly you need to get yourself back to your hotel. So to not make a fool out of yourself again, you cut the situation short.

“Thank you.” You give him a gracious smile and a small nod of your head before turning towards your hotel and safely begin to rush off. 

In your peripherals, you see the two other men that the stunning man was accompanied by and you’re glad you didn’t interact with them too, because they look just as attractive as their friend. You’d surely crumble under their gazes and start awkwardly chatting their ears off so you’re pleased to get away from both them and that bar. 

At least this gives your drunk mind a quick distraction from wondering what Alex and that girl are currently up to. You try not to think about how cosy they might have got or if either of them have made a move. No, you’d rather think about your embarrassing encounter with a model worthy guy who then checked you out and you said thank you to him. 

Thank you? God, you’re so fucking stupid for saying thank you Y/N/N, that doesn’t even make sense. Thank you for me bumping into you and being so kind about it? What was the thank you for? Silly bitch. 

God you really need to get to sleep. Your brain is absolutely spinning. 

Instead you find yourself focussing on the crunch of snow under your boots, how you can see your breath in front of you. And the gentle light coming from the lampposts illuminates the snow that’s slowly falling from the sky and you can’t help but think that it’s so beautiful despite it being so cold. 

Finally you manage to do up the buttons of your coat and your hands are stuffed in your pockets as you carry on walking. But it’s only a few seconds later, you hear your name being shouted behind you. You think you’re hearing things so you don’t stop walking, but then you hear someone running behind you and a gentle call of, “Sweet.” As he begins to slow down. 

Alex is out of breath by the time he’s beside you, and a gentle hand on your arm stops you from walking. A mixture of emotions runs through you in that moment, happy that he’s not with that girl anymore is certainly one of them, but annoyance at him for him even flirting with someone else hits you all over again. 

And it just makes your mood worse, because you absolutely despise being jealous. You hate it. You hate the tightness in your chest and you hate the way you start to second guess everything. And you don’t think you should be second guessing if you’re good enough.  

But you keep all of that to yourself, not wanting to annoy Alex or appear jealous or be overbearing. You’re just drunk and you need to get over yourself. 

“Sweet.” Alex says a little out of breath, “What’s wrong?”

“Absolutely nothing.” You say more flatly than you meant to and turn to carry on walking to the hotel. 

You’d scorn yourself for it, but you’re glad Alex doesn’t pick up on your tone. He just follows after you, falling into step as he asks, “Why are you leaving so early?”

“It’s almost one Alex,” You tell him, “I’m tired.”

You’re certainly not telling him that he’s a part of the reason you’re leaving. Even if he has finally given someone else the time of day for a brief minute tonight.  

Trying not to focus on the mixed emotions cursing through you, you end up telling the singer, “You don’t have to walk me back, go back to the bar.”

“And let you walk back on your own at one in the morning?” Alex frowns down at you,  “I don’t think so.”

You shake your head slightly at that, knowing he’s just doing that because of the story you told him about how you don’t like to walk alone at night. But you don’t want him here solely because of that. “I don’t need your pity.”

“There’s no pity, I’m just not a dickhead, sweet.” Alex’s smile then turns into a smirk as he throws his arm around your shoulders and he pulls you against him, “Now let me keep you warm.”

Your chest feels lighter somehow at his actions, and it makes you feel all gooey and smiley inside. But your brain is telling you to keep a hard exterior after what you witnessed tonight, so you try and brush him off, “Al, I’m fine.”

But the singer is having none of it. He just holds you tighter teases, “You’re moody.” 

“I’m tired.” You correct him, even though you’re lying through your teeth. 

“With your little rule, I thought you would have been reserving more energy.” Alex smirks, not being able to pass on the opportunity to torture you that little bit more. 

You don’t mute your scoff at that, and decide that silence is what he deserves after that comment and him flirting with someone else all evening. And it hits you all over again how up until a few months ago you’d only get silence and sneers from him, but that woman at the bar instantly got smiles and flirting. It makes you want to push his arm off your shoulder and you fall silent again. 

It’s confusing. Wanting to scold him but then also lean into him and accept the joy the simple pleasure of him hugging you brings you. And you’re feeling it all at once. You don’t understand it and don’t really know how to process it. 

Sleep. You need sleep. 

With his free hand, Alex digs into his coat pocket and pulls out his gloves, noticing you’re shivering, “Here take these.” 

“Thank you.” You accept them quietly and graciously and don’t waste much time putting them on, even if they are too big for you. 

Alex smiles once you have them on, and he squeezes your shoulder that bit tighter as he grins, “They suit you.” 

“Bit big, but I'll take it.” You shrug a little, and give him a bit of a smile so you don’t look like a colossal bitch. It was a kind gesture after all. 

Alex grins back down, his eyes bright as he says with a knowing look, “Well, you know what they say about big hands, sweet.”

Holding your own smile back, you fake a roll of your eyes and look away from him, “You’re not funny.”

“What?” Alex asks, faking innocence but smirking, “Just big gloves, nothing untoward.” 

You share an amused look then, both looking into each other's eyes and knowing for certain that was not what he was meaning. In those few seconds though, you can’t help but notice how gorgeous he looks, with the snow falling down around him, a few flakes having found home in his hair and he just looks so pretty and happy. 

You always want to look at him and see that cheeky smile looking back down at you. It makes you feel all warm inside.  

But then that crude sense of humour has to go and ruin the moment. 

“Anyway,” He smirks, “You already know how big I am. I don't think I need to remind you just yet.”

The way your cheeks heat up immediately is almost as embarrassing as the way your gaze snaps away from his. You just try to act nonchalant about it, shaking your head, “Way to lower the tone.”

“I think it was your dirty mind that lowered the tone, sweet.” Alex laughs and he has you giggling along with him. 

It doesn’t take long to get back to the hotel, and you walk in a comfortable silence with your head finally not filled with everything to do with the bar. You just enjoy having his attention back, and that he keeps pulling you back into him, and rubbing the top of your arm in an effort to keep you warm. 

You expect the singer to walk you into the lobby and bid you goodnight there before he heads back out to your other friends. But he surprises you, stepping into the lift with you and even when you’re going up to your floor he keeps his arm around you like he doesn’t want to let you go.  

“Thank you for walking me back, you really didn’t have to.” You tell him after he walks you to your door and you get your keycard out of your pocket. 

Only when you look at him again does he tell you, “Stop thanking me for being a decent human being.”

You smile at him for a second there, and it is a truly grateful one. Despite everything tonight, you really are thankful he came back with you. If not for your safety, but then at least for your peace of mind about what he was up to when you left. Your chest fills with the hatred of the jealousy you’re feeling once more. 

But it’s like the man looking at you can somehow read your emotions. Because he once again flips them on their head when he takes you in again and sees how gorgeous you look in that navy dress and the way it hugs you. 

He seems a little breathless as he says, “You really do look incredible tonight by the way.” 

You look down at yourself, really not thinking you looked anything more than presentable tonight. But two men have checked you out this evening and seemed pleased with what they saw, and you know Alex well enough now to know that he doesn’t just say these things, he actually means them. 

“I- Thank you.” You stumble for a second, but gladly take the compliment. 

As you turn to open your door, Alex takes a step towards his, which makes you frown. He’s going to bed?

“You can go back out, you know?” You say before he even takes another step. 

You don’t really understand why he’d be going to his room when he could go back out and have a good time with either your friends or the stunning woman he was chatting to. Surely he didn’t just leave because you did?

Alex shrugs, and takes a step back towards you, “Don’t want to.”

“Why?” You can’t help but question, “Looked like you were having a good time.”

“Not that good, I wasn’t spending it with you.” Alex shamelessly flirts as he comes to stand right beside you again, hoping to see you get all flustered. 

He adores being the cause of it, and he even likes when you run your mouth back at him and flirt with him too. It makes him happier than he should admit to himself at this point in your little arrangement. But you shock him completely and don’t do either of those things.

No, instead Alex watches as you tense slightly and you become ridged. The smile falling from your face entirely. 

“You knew where I was.” You shrug, not knowing what more you could have done. It’s not like you could go up to him and demand his attention, or steal him away and he figures out why and he teases you for it.  

You just turn back towards your door and mumble under your breath as you put the card in, “Besides, it seems that you found her quite interesting.” 

This has Alex smirking, possibly the biggest he ever has. Not that you can see that smirk as you’re still fumbling about with your keycard and putting it in the door the wrong way. So it gives him a little time to compose himself enough that you won’t hate him when he gets you to look at him again. 

You’re jealous. Hence the mood, short replies, and the pout that was just seeping onto your face… It all makes perfect sense now. 

Alex tones his smirk down into a slight grin before he get your attention again, “Sweet?” 

“What?” You ask, just about managing to open your door before you turn back to him. 

And it’s only when you do, you see the way he’s looking at you. His amusement is clear to see, but he doesn’t say anything. He just takes a step close to you, and before you really know it his lips are on yours and he gently eases you backwards until your back is against the heavy door you’ve not opened more than an inch. 

It’s a sweet kiss, full of longing and care and words you’ve both yet to say. And the way he gently holds your waist, pulling you against him now, his arm running inside your coat and around your back so he can press you fully against him as his lips move in sync with yours. His hand on your jaw moves that bit higher, so his thumb can caress your cheek and you think this might be the sweetest kiss you’ve ever shared.

It’s gentle and full of emotion, even when his tongue finds home with yours. It makes the both of you hot despite both of your lips softly moving together. Something about it runs deeper, like he’s trying to tell you something without explicitly coming out with it. 

His hold on your waist gets that bit tighter which has you melting into him. Unable to stop yourself, you also let out a tiny hum of bliss against his lips and you hold his coat in your fist that bit tighter. This is what you’ve been after all night. This is what you’ve been craving. Him and every last bit of him. 

Even when the kiss comes to its natural end, you wish it wasn’t finished. And you’re glad that it doesn’t seem to be. But the man who makes your heart skip a beat says something you really aren’t expecting. 

“I’m only interested in sleeping with you.” Alex tells you, before he leaves you with one last breathless kiss. 

~*~*~*~*~*~

A/N: What did you think?!?!? NRIACC bestiesssss!! How was it seeing Wheels again?! She's my multiverse I had to hahaha! But how bloody cute are Sweet and Alex, god I adore them so so much. Until next time besties x

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[yunho-1999]

I Fucking Hate You

pairing: badboys¡minwon x fem¡reader

words: 9.3k+

summary: Wonwoo and Mingyu hate each other's guts, but when they discover you've been lying and keeping secrets from them they decide to punish you together. But even then they fight for dominance, making you choose. Who will you end up with?

genre: smut

warnings: mean¡wonwoo, slightly less mean¡mingyu, dom¡wonwoo, dom¡mingyu, cursing, hair pulling, slapping, choking, unprotected sex (don't risk it babes), creampie, angsty af, wonwoo's confused, physical fights, drooling, oral (male receiving), stereotypical representation of bad boys, manhandling (?), motorcycle go very fast, blood, wounds, and probably way more tbh

You couldn't help but stare, your gaze fixed on his neck tattoo, why the fuck was he so hot? Gosh. Jeon Wonwoo would drive you insane one day.

"What are you looking at?" A pair of strong hands landed on your waist, immediately freezing you in place. Kim Mingyu. That was definitely the worst timing for him to appear, now you couldn't ogle at Wonwoo.

"Hm? Me? Nowhere, I was just zoning out" you quickly turned around, making sure Jeon did not see you. It would cause too much trouble if he found you out in that position with Mingyu.

"Why can't I believe you?" He tilted his head, hand now gripping your jaw with strength.

You frowned at that, you hated the ungodly strength that Mingyu had. Because no matter how hard you tried you wouldn't be able to move a single hair.

"Why wouldn't you? Would I lie to you? Do you really think that?" you pouted at him, puppy eyes staring directly into his. Physical strength was his thing, but mental strength was yours. And you knew how to have everyone wrapped around your fingers. At least that's what you thought.

"Hm, I guess you were really zoning out then..." he squished your face a little more before letting go.

"Of course, I would never ever lie to you Mingyu~" you smiled at him, hand gripping onto his arm, slowly caressing the area, making the big boy smile.

"Anyways, I need you to come over this afternoon, I've been feeling really stressed lately, and you know..." his face moved closer, mouth ghosting the skin of your ear "... your pussy cures my stress everytime."

"I can't today" you swallowed hard while anxiously biting on your lower lip. You never denied Mingyu, but this afternoon you had plans already. With none other than Jeon Wonwoo himself.

"What?" He frowned his grip tighter, eyes burning into yours "What did you say?"

"I can't today Mingyu. I- I have a project that I need to finish, it's like really important and it's half of the grade" you put up your best innocent face, trying to convince him.

"Do it while I fuck you. It wouldn't be the first time you finish a project with my cock burried deep inside of you" That was indeed true, and your head was trying to think of another excuse.

"Well, this time it's different, I need to pay full attention. Because this subject is really hard. And I can't simply get a C like last time. I need at least an A" you could notice the obvious frustration radiating from his body, not only that, but the grip on you kept getting harsher. You just wished it wouldn't leave marks.

"You know I would never deny you" Unless Wonwoo is the reason of course "Because you know how much I love having you fuck me. But this time, only this one time I really can't Gyu. Please understand. We can do it tomorrow. Huh? How about that?" your hands moved to his chest drawing little circles.

"I fucking can't tomorrow Y/n." he pushed you away a little too much making you stumble, but you didn't fall down, you only looked at him with a pout.

"Why is it only when you want? I also have things to do Mingyu." you crossed your arms and he sighed. "Yeah, yeah, whatever. See you when you finish this stupid project of yours"

And just like that he walked away making you roll your eyes. How could he be so selfish? It was always about him, and only him.

If it wasn't for the fact that he was really good at fucking you, you probably would have already cut ties with him. Also, it boosted your ego a lot, that none other than Kim Mingyu wanted you.

"What's got you so mad?" a deep voice laughed behind you, and you prayed to God that he didn't see Mingyu walk away from where you where.

"Hm? Nothing, I had an argument with a friend. But who cares, you're here now" you smiled at him while turning around.

"Is that so? Who would even want to fight you? You're so nice, aren't you baby?" his hand moved a strand of hair behind your ear a dumb smile on his face.

"Are you high again?" you asked noticing his giddy mood "When am I not high is the right question to ask baby" he chuckled leaning closer.

"Yeah, I'm stoned as fuuuck" he kissed the tip of your nose and you couldn't help but giggle "I can tell, your breath smells like shit" you joked.

"But you would still kiss me right?" He started leaning too close for your liking in a public space, but for your sake the bell rang "Not right now" you put your hand on his lips gaining a whine "On the other hand, after school, I'll think about it" you winked at him before walking away.

You quickly made your way to class, avoiding at all costs seeing the two boys. Fortunately they were from different grades, so you wouldn't be seeing them, and they shouldn't see each other eith-

"Fuck off!" "You fuck off! You fucking asshole" Wonwoo's hands immediately grabbed Mingyu's collar.

What was a simple collision in the hallway turned into an argument. But of course it did. Mingyu and Wonwoo couldn't stand each other's guts. That's why neither of them knew you were fucking the other. If they did the dead one would probably be you.

"You can't smoke indoors, did you know that? Or has the weed melted your brain cells? If you even had to begin with."

Without thinking much Wonwoo delivered a punch "You're not the one talking about fucking brain cells, you're dumber than an ostrich, and the bitches have like tiny fucking brains"

Mingyu punched back, before some teacher finally stepped in to stop this whole situation, sending both boys to the principals office.

"Y/n, y/n, y/n guess what we just witnessed?" Chan sat besides you excitedly a smile all across his face.

"Let me guess, Mingyu and Wonwoo were fighting. Again." "Bingo!" Vernon sat on your other side laughing when you let out a sigh.

"Are they okay?" Seungkwan frowned at your question from the seat in front of you "Why do you even care? Oh, no. Don't tell me. Y/n!"

"I know I know, 'you shouldn't do that it's gonna get you in trouble'" you mimicked seungkwan's voice.

"One, I do not sound like that-" "You do though" "Shut up! That's not the point Chan. The point is, if they ever find out, not only are they killing each other, they're gonna kill y/n, and I don't know about you, but I do not want my bestie dead. Not because of two jerks" he rolled his eyes.

"I hate to admit it, but Kwan is right... Is it really worth it?" Chan asked you and you hid your face behind your hands.

"Is it worth it?" you repeated to yourself "Two of the hottest dudes in this whole school want to fuck me, I would say that's pretty worth it, not gonna lie" you looked up just to meet their disappointed gazes "Oh come on! Don't look at me like that! It's not like I committed a crime..."

"Your body your choice, and it's your life, so you do you. But I would be careful. They're not good people, and you definitely deserve better" Vernon shrugged his shoulders.

"They're not as bad as you guys think... " you looked away, not handling the way they were staring at you. They were right, and you knew, but your pride was too big to admit that.

"If you say so..." Chan sighed before looking at the teacher, now paying attention to the class. Knowing that you weren't comfortable talking about this.

After a few more hours it was finally time to go home. You stood up as fast as you could, holding onto your backpack and waving goodbye to your friends before going out of the classroom.

You walked with all your speed to the entrance, to leave, but then a hand pulled you closer.

"We're going in my motorcycle." he sounded mad, very mad. And you noticed a little wound on his lip.

"Are you okay?" you asked worried your thumb caressing his hand. You've rarely seen him like that. As Wonwoo was typically more calm and collected than Mingyu. At least around you he was.

"Yeah, yeah. It's just that that fucking jerk Mingyu ruined my whole day. Could you believe he told me what to do? Him? Like who the fuck does he think he is. I want to ruin that fucking pretty boy face he has." you suddenly felt nervous at that, you didn't want him to fight with Mingyu. Not again.

They once had a very big fight, leaving both boys expelled and with pretty ugly bruises. And even scars. At least Mingyu had some.

"Fighting is never a good solution Wonu, last time you ended up really fucked up, and I don't want that" You also didn't want Mingyu to end up hurt.

"I'll be fine babe, don't worry about me. I can take care of myself" he sat you down on his motorcycle and then put on the helmet he carried around for you.

You held onto him with all your strength and he started to drive, quickly moving away from the area. From the distance you saw Mingyu walk away, pushing some people that where on his way.

"Get off" you heard Wonwoo's voice once he parked the vehicle, and you did just as he said, seeing that you were now in front of his apartment.

"Let's go" he held your hand once again, pulling you with him towards the inside of the building, making you sigh slightly. You hated when Wonwoo was in that mood. He usually was way different from Mingyu, unless he was mad at something. And today he was mad at Mingyu. Turning him into a short tempered person. Just like the tall boy.

"Wonu~" you went closer to him, your other hand on his shoulder massaging the area "relax, he's not here anymore. There's no need to be mad" he looked at you with a frown "I'm here with you. No one else. Are you gonna be mad at me?"

"Y/n I'm not in the mood for you to also tell me what the fuck to do or feel. If I wanna be mad. I will. Got it?" you sighed and looked away, nodding slightly.

"Use your words." he squeezed your hand "Yes Wonwoo, I got it"

"Great. Now get inside" he opened the door and you did as he said, seeing his roomate inside. Frowning at that, you thought that the both of you would be alone. Wasn't that the reason he took you there?

"Hi Y/n!" Seungcheol noticed you, approaching with a big smile. You really liked Cheol, he had graduated last year, and you couldn't help but miss him around school sometimes.

He was about to hug you when Wonwoo stepped in between the two, looking at his friend with the worst death glare you had ever seen.

"Go away." he said making the black haired boy scoff "Woah, what's gotten into you?" he poked his friend's chest, making Wonwoo even more mad than before.

"None of your business now move away." he pushed him with extreme force, making Seungcheol stumble and you looked at him with a pout. Scared that if you tried to talk to him Wonwoo would get even more mad.

Seungcheol looked at you in an apologetic way, he didn't know what happened to Wonwoo, but he knew that his anger would be unloaded on you. And that idea bothered him, but not enough to do something. He wouldn't admit it out loud but he was terrified of the younger male.

Soon you were pushed inside of Jeon's room, the familiar scent invading your senses. You smiled at that before the boy pinned you to the wall.

"Won-" "Shh. I don't want to hear you today. Just be a good girl for me yes?" you looked at him with a pout, and he frowned holding your cheeks, just like Mingyu had done a few hours prior.

"Don't look at me like that Y/n, I'm not in the mood. I know it's not your fault, that's why I'm trying really, really hard to keep myself calm. I don't want to yell at you" he looked at you, and you tried to be apprehensive about the situation.

Yeah, he was a little bit meaner than usual, but it was true that he didn't snap at you. He didn't blame you, or scream in your face like a mad man. Something that Mingyu would definitely do.

Your gaze turned into a softer one and Wonwoo leaned in, kissing you. It was a passionate kiss, filled with lust, and a little bit of blood from his wound.

You could tell he was trying to release his anger in some way. And fucking you would be the way without hurting anyone.

"Fuck" he pulled away from the kiss, his hands now on your shoulders pushing you to your knees. You knew exactly what to do, so without hesitating much you undid his belt, pushing down his pants and underwear at the same time.

He was already half hard so with a few more strokes of your hand he became fully erect.

You started giving little kitten licks to the tip, but the boy didn't have much patience to begin with so he held your head, pushing you to his length, gagging you with it.

You closed your eyes, both hands now placed in his thighs as a way to maintain balance and not fall down.

"You feel good baby. This is definitely what I needed" he kept fucking your mouth. His soft moans made their way to your ears and you smiled slightly.

Before cumming he pulled away "To the bed, quick."

You immediately went to the bed, taking of your skirt and panties on the process. Knowing that Wonwoo would probably just rip them, and you couldn't afford that happening.

You laid down, stomach facing the mattress, ass up in the air, and without much warning the boy pistoned into you.

"I swear to God" he didn't waste time moving as fast and hard as he could, making you bite into the bed sheets to not let out a sound.

"That fucking jerk" a hard thrust was delivered to you as well as a smack to your ass "I fucking hate him" another thrust "One day I'll rip his guts apart" and another.

Wonwoo was never this rough with you, but you couldn't help but like it. Enjoying the roughness, even if the boy was talking shit about your other fuck buddy.

"He's a stupid motherfucker that thinks he's the best, that he has everything he wants, that he owns the world" his grip onto your waist became stronger "well guess what, he doesn't have this pussy, I own this shit" he laughed before fucking into you even rougher.

That was like a cold bucket of water was dropped into you, you felt horrible for some kind of reason. Now regretting all the choices you had made in your life. But at the same time, you weren't dating neither of them. So why should you care? They only saw you as a fuck toy. Right?

That's what it was. It couldn't be anything else. Wonwoo probably said that because he was mad at Mingyu. Because he certainly did not own you.

Yes, you guys were fuck buddies for like a long time. But that didn't mean you belonged to him. Right?

Then why did you keep it a secret whenever you fucked another person? Why did Wonwoo get absolutely furious when he saw you with some other dude?

You never understood those things. He clearly told you he didn't want a relationship. But in reality what he didn't want was the compromise. He was not scared, he just didn't care enough to have a relationship with someone.

He absolutely despised sweet stuff, going on dates, holding hands in a romantic way, giving each other gifts in anniversaries, all of it. He couldn't stand it. It was too much work. It was bothersome for him.

It was much easier having you as a fuck buddy. Cause he didn't need to do shit. Whenever he pleased you would be right there for him to use you as he wanted. Without even complaining about it. You were a simple person, and he loved that.

What he did not love was the thought of other people doing this with you. For some reason he hated it with all his might. But that was probably because he was jealous and selfish in general. He didn't like other people using something he liked.

Fuck, did he like you?

He wasn't sure. To be honest he avoided thinking about it. He had made the mistake to tell you this would be nothing serious, and now, it was too late to regret it. He said what he said. And there was nothing to do about it.

"Wonu- argh wonu the- the door" you managed to speak through muffled moans.

Wonwoo was so deep into his own thoughts and with the task of fucking you that he didn't even realize when someone started knocking on the door.

"For fucks sake. I can't have one peaceful fucking day. ONE." he let go of you, resentfuly pulling away.

"What the fuck do you want?" He opened just a bit of the door, Seungcheol's awkward smile was the first thing he saw, making him roll his eyes.

"I don't want to be a party pooper, but hm, how do I tell you this... The lady that inspects the apartment is here. And well you know..." he said flailing his arms.

"You want me to stop fucking y/n" he deadpans "yeah that. I'm sorry..." Seungcheol looks like a sad puppy, like he did something so wrong his owner would disown him.

"I fucking hate this day. Nothing could be worse. I swear." he angrily closed the door, making Cheol and you flinch.

"Get dressed. I'll take you home." he started putting on his own clothes, trying to leave the place tidy before leaving. Because as much as he hated the situation, he didn't want Seungcheol and him getting kicked out.

"I'm sorry..." you whispered. You knew it wasn't your fault. But still you felt apologetic. "W-we can continue in my apartment if you want Wonu... I have no roommates and no one's coming over"

"Honestly I'm not even horny anymore y/n, just fucking furious" he signaled with his head for you to get moving after dressing up. And you did after fixing the bed.

"We can like, watch a movie or something. To help you calm down. Or maybe distract you from this situation" you looked at him with shiny eyes, hoping he would say yes.

"Honestly, anything is better than staying here. Because I would probably punch Cheol on the face" he sighed and then held your hand.

He walked as fast as he could, quickly leaving with you. Not even saying goodbye to Cheol or the lady that inevitably ruined his moment with you.

He took both of you to your apartment, seemingly more calm than before. At least that what you thought when you sat down next to him to watch the movie.

Half an hour passed, and everything was actually going fine. You and Wonwoo were enjoying the movie, but then, the doorbell rang.

You sighed and stood up going to see who it was, frowning when you saw your friends. Why were they here?

"Hi..." you answered when you opened the door. Seungkwan immediately pushed you out of the way entering your house, Vernon and Chan following along.

"Y/n you won't believe what we saw, Min-" you quickly opened your eyes pointing with your chin towards Wonwoo on the couch "oh... Not him" he rolled his eyes.

"What's he doing here?" Chan whispered to you approaching you from the side.

"What about me huh?!" Wonwoo immediately stood up. Walking towards where all of you were.

"N-nothing, they're just surprised you're here nothing else. Right guys?" you looked at them desperately.

"Actually no. I don't like that he's here y/n. We talked to you about this. For fucks sake" Seungkwan's eyes where fixated on your nervous ones.

"Oh you don't like me huh? I don't like you guys either. And today is not really my fucking day, so I suggest you shut the fuck up" he went even closer to Seungkwan.

Panicked you stood in front of your friend, looking up to the taller male. "Please don't fight..."

"Y/n I wouldn't have to fight if you listened to us. He's not good for you, can't you understand that? It's not that hard." he crossed his arms.

Wonwoo pushed you out of the way, this time not being careful making you fall down. And he delivered a punch to your friends face, his nose starting to bleed.

"What the fuck?!" he yelled holding onto the bruised area "fuck..." he backed away Vernon taking his place as Chan helped you get up.

"Are you fucking stupid dude? Jesus Christ..." Vernon mustered "That's why we don't like you at all. You aggressive piece of shit" Chan spoke up now.

"Guys please..." you whispered fighting the urge to cry, but it was impossible. Tears already rolling down your cheeks.

"Why do you keep defending him? He just punched me in my face!" Seungkwan looked at you, his eyes wide open, not believing the situation.

"I- I'm sorry" you covered your face sighing deeply.

"I'm fucking leaving" Wonwoo said and you held his arm "N-no, don't lea-" "Let go." he pulled his arm away from your grip and just left.

You let out a desperate cry before looking away from your friends. Too ashamed to even look at them in the eyes after that situation.

"I'm so sorry, I really am, I'm sorry" you kept mumbling to them until you felt a pair of arms surround you. Trying to make you calm down.

"It's fine" you heard Chan's soft voice from behind. It surprisingly helped a little.

"No, it's not fucking fine. Like for God's sake y/n, this can not keep happening. You need to stop seeing them. Specially Wonwoo." Seungkwan was now in front of you, arms crossed letting you see how angry he was. Not only that you could also spot a bruise starting to appear on his delicate face.

"Oh no, Seungkwan, I'm sorry, I didn't think he would do this to you, i- I don't know what happened, he was in a bad mood and I guess-"

"Stop trying to excuse him y/n" Vernon sighed now taking a stance next to his friend. "He's a jerk. That's it. Imagine if one day he punches you."

"He wouldn't do that..." you shook your head and then Chan placed his chin on your shoulder.

"You don't know that" he said before letting you go so he could go stand next to Vernon "and honestly I don't want to wait until it happens" he sighed.

"It's not that easy you know? You all keep saying to just leave them, stop seeing them. But it's not easy, not at all. They know where I live, they go to the same school we do, it's just, too complicated, I'm- I'm scared" both of your hands where placed on your temples while you closed your eyes. Stressed by just the though of Mingyu and Wonwoo going absolutely insane because out of nowhere you stopped talking to them.

"I know it's not easy. But you have us. We may not be the best in terms of size or strength, but we will still protect you, right?" Chan smiled brightly trying to ease the situation a bit.

"Yeah, of course. Like, no one, absolutely no one is hurting you." Vernon sounded extremely serious and you could tell he really meant it.

"And if I have to take another punch for you, I'll do it." Kwan held your hands with a soft smile.

You couldn't help but breakdown and start crying again because of that. You really didn't know what you did to deserve such good and loving friends like them.

"You guys are the best. Really. I love you so much. Thank you. And sorry..." you pouted before laughing gently at Seungkwan as he also started crying.

"You guys are such crybabies" Chan laughed before caressing both of your backs.

"So it's settled Y/n, tomorrow, no talking to those douches" Vernon poked your head gently.

You had never felt so nervous to go to school like today. Chan waited for you outside your house with Vernon so the three of you could go to school. As Seungkwan couldn't because he had a doctors appointment. It was also a way to make sure you would not talk to neither Mingyu or Wonwoo.

"I'm so fucking scared. Wonwoo called me yesterday, and I didn't answer so he messaged me like a lot. He's definitely going to try and talk to me today. I'm terrified" you sighed while walking, hands holding on tight to the straps of your backpack as if they would run away.

"He better stay away from you. If he doesn't I'll make sure he does. After yesterday I really want to beat the shit out of him. For real" Vernon frowned, he absolutely despised Wonwoo, and after the punch that Seungkwan received he hated him even more.

"Well, let's try to stay out of conflict" Chan looked at his friend worried and then at you with the same gaze.

"Yeah, let's just... ignore them..." you nodded to yourself, seeing the two boys agree with you.

After some minutes you guys finally arrived, feeling a bit weird. You looked around scared, like a bunny being chased by two big bad wolves.

To your despair you made eye contact with Mingyu by accident, making you look away immediately and cling onto both of your friends arms. Walking faster towards your class.

The taller male just frowned, why did you look at him like that? Were you scared of something? Of him? Curiosity started to build up in his gut. As well as anger. Why did you ignore him like that? He didn't do anything. So why were you so weird today?

Another one that was absolutely furious was Wonwoo. You completely ignored him yesterday. Yes, he didn't make the best decision, and yes, punching your best friend was a bit extreme. But still, he wanted to apologize and you ignored him. Making him lose his temper. Barely sleeping at night because of it.

He waited for you in your locker, and when you walked right by him completely looking away, not even going to the locker he just felt more angry. Is that how you were going to be? Childish. He thought to himself. As if he didn't do exactly the same whenever he got mad at Seungcheol.

But he wasn't going to give up. No way. He was going to talk to you. Even if you didn't want to.

His plan was to wait for you at the end of your last class, so when everyone was leaving he could hold onto you and take you with him to talk.

What he didn't know is that Mingyu had the exact same plan as him. And he wasn't planning to give up either.

The time passed and the classes weren't that bad. You had spent your whole day with your friends, having a good time, completely forgetting about the other two boys. A big mistake.

Wonwoo left early not caring if the teacher would say something, he needed to make sure he was outside your class for when you left. But as he got closer a familiar face was standing there. Resting against the wall, looking at his phone.

"What are you doing here?" he asked frowning displeased by who he saw there.

"None of your fucking business" the other muttered still not looking up from his phone.

"This is not your class. What the fuck are you doing here?" he insisted.

"I could say the same thing to you." he looked up making eye contact with Wonwoo.

"I'm just waiting for y/n" he wanted to brag about you to Mingyu, because as he told you he owned your pussy, and that was one of his biggest achievements.

"What a coincidence then, I'm waiting for her too." he frowned crossing his arms.

"Don't fuck with me Kim, what are you doing here?" he already wasn't in the best mood, and hearing Mingyu joke around just made him lose it even more.

"I'm not fucking with you Jeon. I'm here to talk to y/n" His face kept displaying a displeased expression. Not only that but his brain was starting to think too much, why the fuck was Jeon Wonwoo waiting for you?

"And why would you even do that? She doesn't even like you. If you think you have a chance with her, forget it." You had never told him you hated Mingyu, but he just assumed it. You HAD to hate him, after all the stories he had explained to you, and after the other day, you definitely had to absolutely hate him. Right?

"Doesn't even like me?" He started laughing ironically enjoying Wonwoo's confused facial expression "Oh please, that's not what she says when my dick is burried deep inside of her" he shrugged his shoulders triumphant. Did Wonwoo think he had a chance with you? How stupid.

"What? What the fuck did you just say?" Wonwoo couldn't believe what he just heard. He had to be fucking around. Just to mess with him and make him angrier. That had to be it. Mingyu was not fucking you. It couldn't be.

"I said that that's not what she says-"

"I heard you. But you can't possibly be telling the truth." He laughed in disbelief shaking his head.

"Well I am, and if you want to see some evidence, I have pictures" He unlocked his phone starting to look for his hidden photo album of you. Once he found it he showed it to Wonwoo, a big smile on his face.

It was you. To Wonwoo's dismay it was actually you. All naked, a trail of Mingyu's cum all over your abdomen. Messy. Just how the giant liked it.

For some reason Jeon felt speechless. He couldn't believe you were also fucking Mingyu. Like you were mere fuck buddies. But still. It was Kim Mingyu, the man he hated the most. His enemy. The guy he wanted to beat up at any given chance because he couldn't stand him at all. It was like betraying him. You betrayed him, and you needed to pay for it.

"She's been playing both of us." He let out a serious tone, his eyes now hooded as he felt nothing but anger.

"What?" the younger frowned confused, still not understanding the situation.

"She's been playing both of us Mingyu. She has been fucking both of us." He looked at the boy dead serious. Taking in all his different expressions.

At first he was frowning, utterly confused, then he looked like he was processing all of the information, and then his face completely changed. Into a stern one. He couldn't believe it either. That's why you canceled him yesterday, to go and fuck Wonwoo.

"Wow... I can't fucking believe it. No one, absolutely no one plays with me like that. No. One." he crossed his arms, and Wonwoo did the same.

"We have to do something. Has she been ignoring you too?"

"Yes." he was still in disbelief. How could you? Why would you? Knowing how bad it could end, why did you even take the risk?

But that was a question that not even you could answer.

"Let's go to her house. I have a spear key." Wonwoo turned around, starting to walk hoping the other boy would follow him. And to his surprise, he did.

Mingyu hated Wonwoo, and he didn't quite understand what was the plan, or why was he just letting Wonwoo decide, but he wanted to make you pay. For simply not telling him the truth, and also fucking with Wonwoo in his back. Out of everyone why did it have to be him? Were you stupid?

"Take this" the eldest gave him a motorcycle helmet "this is the fastest way

to get there" Jeon put on his own helmet before getting on it.

Mingyu rolled his eyes before putting the helmet on and getting on the motorcycle with Wonwoo. What was even happening. Was he really taking him to your house, or was he going to absolutely murder him.He had no clue.

When he saw your house he finally calmed down. The possibilities of Wonwoo killing him weren't low. But apparently not to high either.

They went inside as if it was their own home and Wonwoo left his jacket on the table, not caring about the pretty decoration that was on top. He had no time to do that.

"So... Why are we even here?" The taller one asked looking around confused.

"If she wants to fuck both of us, let's see how well she can handle it." He sat down on the couch, making himself comfortable.

"We're going to fuck her? The both of us? At the same time?" Mingyu pointed at himself and then at Wonwoo repeatedly.

"Yes Mingyu. Are you fucking stupid? Or do you just not listen?" The eldest rolled his eyes looking away.

"Why would- Why are you- just why...?" he frowned.

"To teach her a lesson, to make her pay for lying to both of us, to make sure she never does it again." He was completely serious, scaring the taller male.

"Well I'm sorry but I don't like sharing."

"And you think I do? I'm fucking annoyed by this whole situation. Because honestly if it was someone else I would be fine. Kind of. But you? Out of all, you? For fucks sake it's like asking for disaster to happen. I didn't think she would be this fucking dumb. Maybe fucking her stupid was not a good idea after all"

"At the end she'll choose."

"What?"

"We're going to fuck her at the same time, but at the end, she's going to have to choose one of us. Or neither."

"Deal. I'll win anyways." He let out a soft laugh.

"You wish."

You were kind of nervous when you left class but to your surprise, neither of the boys were waiting for you. That calmed down your nerves and made you smile happily. Maybe it was never that difficult after all.

Both of your friends took you home before leaving to their own, and as you opened your front door you spotted a familiar vehicle near your house. But that couldn't be his. No way. You shook your head, deciding to ignore it.

As you entered your house and closed the door the keys immediately fell to the floor and you couldn't help but start trembling out of fear.

Jeon Wonwoo and Kim Mingyu where inside your house, sitting in your couch, looking at you with a gaze you had only seen when they looked at each other.

"W-what- why- I'm sorry" that's all you could say. They knew everything. There was no time to act dumb.

"You're sorry? I'm not really sure about that." Wonwoo was the first to speak up standing up from the couch and approaching you.

"You lied to us. You tricked us. How could you? Are you that desperate for cock? Wasn't one enough for you? I didn't think you were such a whore" Mingyu was the one who spoke now, also walking towards you.

They where both in front of you now, as your back hit the front door. The handle poking your back from behind, it hurt.

"I'm sorry, I really am, it just- it got out of hand, and well you know... we are just fuck buddies right...? it- it shouldn't be a problem" you couldn't back away anymore. but you wished you could. Their intense gazes on you were too much to handle. Leaving you uncomfortable.

"If it wasn't a problem why did you lie huh? You told me yesterday you had a to do project. I didn't know your teacher assigned you to fuck Wonwoo" his hand held onto your waist, slamming you back on the door, the handle hitting you once again. Making you wince in pain.

"I- I'm sorry. But you have to understand. I-I couldn't just tell you guys... You would have end up killing each other or something" your desperate eyes kept looking at both of them.

"Who do you think we are? Murderers?" Wonwoo's hand went to your neck imitating Mingyu's action, but softer. Making you hit your head on the door.

You closed your eyes, already expecting the absolute worse. You fucked up big time. There was no way to get away from this. You weren't sure about what was in their mind, but you knew it couldn't be good.

"Eyes on me. Open." you heard that low voice that usually aroused you, but not this time. How could it? Two of the most dangerous people you knew where cornering you against a wall, their strong grip on you.

You opened your tear filled eyes, not being able to look at neither of them for too long. Your vision foggy from the tears blocking your vision.

"Poor little thing, terrified" Mingyu let out a laugh before pressing harder on your side.

"You know what they say y/n, if you play with fire, you'll get burned. And it hurts." Wonwoo applied more pressure to your neck, making you panic and hold onto his wrist. You didn't want to die. Not like this.

"On your knees." the eldest let go of your neck and pushed you by your shoulders to the ground. Knees hitting the wood with a loud thud accompanied by a whine from you.

"You know what to do." Mingyu said while looking down at you.

You cleared your eyes, wiping away the tears and looking up at them. So this was their plan. To fuck you.

Maybe it wasn't as bad as you had thought. At the end of the day they still had some consideration towards you, right?

Your hands quickly moved towards Wonwoo's pants, to you he was the scariest out of the two, so it was better to start with him first.

Wonwoo had a shit eating grin all over his face making Mingyu's groan annoyed. Oh well you started with the older, whatever. That didn't annoy him, of course not.

He was definitely not annoyed when he gripped your hair making you look at him dead in the eyes "you've got two hands. Use them." he said letting go.

You struggled an absurd amount time to open each of their belts and zippers with one hand, but you didn't have much of a choice. It was better to follow their introductions than to wait for the consequences. Even if they couldn't be really bad.

"Me first." Mingyu once again pulled your hair towards him, dick slamming softly onto your cheek.

"You wish" Wonwoo now also gripped your hair pulling you to him, making you stay between their two cocks.

You simply opened your mouth, tongue lolling out, letting them use your mouth as they wished.

"Rock, paper scissors" Mingyu muttered, and Wonwoo just looked at him confused.

"We'll decide things by that. It's the quickest and easiest way right now" he frowned determined.

"You're so childish, why do you even like him?" he rolled his eyes but agreed to the game nonetheless by pulling his hand out towards the big giant.

"rock..."

"paper..."

"scissors..."

"shoot!" both of them said revealing how Wonwoo won by throwing a rock at Mingyu's scissors.

"I go first. As expected, you can't even win a rock paper scissors match against me" Wonwoo laughed with a smug smile holding onto you head now, directing your mouth directly onto his dick.

"Watch it Jeon. I won't hesitate to punch you..." Mingyu frowned angrily gripping your head so you would at least touch him at the same time.

"Shut up." the eldest groaned as he fucked into your mouth, enjoying the sensation the back of your throat gave him. Especially when you gagged and looked at him with those pretty bambi eyes, begging him to pull out so you could breathe.

"It's my turn don't you think...?" Mingyu pouted while looking directly at you, he wanted attention. He begged for attention. A true attention seeker at all costs, mainly to you. He wanted your attention.

"No. I won. I decide. You wait." Wonwoo threw the boy a glare and went back to his task of using your throat as his fuck toy.

"I'm not a dog for you to be talking at me like that." he punched the older on the shoulder.

"You sure are annoying like one, fuck off" he punched him back on the same spot.

You tapped onto Wonwoo's thigh, and he couldn't help but look at you. Immediately knowing what you ment by your sweet understanding eyes.

'Don't fight' he knew that that's what you were trying to say, and he didn't want to fight either, but it was so hard when Mingyu was being a dick. In his point of view of course.

He just decided to ignore the boy beside him and keep thrusting until he felt satisfied enough.

Once he pulled out you didn't waste any time and decided to go for Mingyu's. He had been waiting for too long, you even felt bad. Your hand couldn't possibly feel as good as your mouth. You all knew.

That's why Wonwoo wanted to make Mingyu wait, because he deserved it. He hated him so much. And even if he was mad at you, he was always going to be angrier at Mingyu. For simply breathing. Existing even.

Mingyu was already a whimpering mess. having to wait for you to touch him was something that never happened. It was usually the other way around, he was the one that railed you up. Not letting you touch yourself as he teased you as much as he could.

"Hey, just because you're sucking his dick doesn't mean you don't have to touch me." Wonwoo slapped your cheek slightly and you moved your hand.

Immediately going to grip his cock and pump him.

But Mingyu wasn't having it. Your attention should be on him now.

He shoved his dick deeper making you choke on his length. He was slightly bigger and thicker than Wonwoo so you could barely breathe. Nose pressed against his lower stomach.

You soon let go of Wonwoo to place both your hands on Mingyu's thighs trying to pull away slightly, wanting to have some air in your lungs.

The taller had now a proud smile on his face, finally getting what he wanted.

But of course Wonwoo wasn't going to let that happen. He couldn't lose to Mingyu.

His hand went in to pinch your nose, making sure you weren't breathing at all. Your eyes went to his a panicked look in your soft eyes, just as he wanted.

"You can take it. Can't you? Come on, keep sucking"

You closed your eyes and tried your best to keep on sucking Mingyu, you didn't have much of an option, his hands were gripping your hair and he was pushing your head towards him.

But you couldn't take it anymore, you were starting to feel dizzy like you could faint at any second.

One of your hands gripped Mingyu's thigh and the other tapped Wonwoo's wrist, and when he felt how weak your touch was he finally let go, pushing Mingyu's hands away so you could pull away and breathe.

You nearly collapsed on the floor, both hands keeping you up as you looked down, breathing heavily to recompose yourself. That was definitely intense, and it was only the beginning.

"Look up." you heard one of them say and you slowly did.

Mingyu nearly came by the look in your face. You looked absolutely fucked out, messy hair, red lips puffy and parted tongue slighty poking out so you could breathe, spit all over them, and your eyes. Oh your beautiful eyes, so innocent, looking at him like nothing had happened. So precious, so cute. God, he wanted to have you right there, ignore Wonwoo and just fuck you.

But he knew he couldn't. It was a competition. And he was very fair when it came to competing. Because he knew he had the abilities to win without cheating.

Wonwoo wasn't enduring it much better. You looked like an angel, there sitting on the floor while staring at him with those honey filled eyes. Gosh he wanted to have you all for himself so badly, to just take you to your room close the door and let Mingyu frustrated. But he wasn't going to do it. He wanted for you to choose him fairly. Because he knew that you would.

"On all fours baby, lead us to the room pretty" Wonwoo smiled, that smile that you absolutely adored, that made you all fuzzy inside.

"Weren't we supposed to punish her?" Mingyu asked crossing his arms looking at Wonwoo now.

"Yeah, what's your point??" Wonwoo asked confused.

"You just called her pretty, don't get me wrong, she absolutely is, but if she's being punished no cute nicknames should be allowed" he shrugged.

"Are you putting rules on how we should punish her? Jesus you're such a killjoy gosh" Wonwoo rolled his eyes "On all fours whore, come on walk." he pointed towards the hallway. "Happy now?" he glared at Mingyu.

"It feels more like a punishment now" He smiled following right behind you.

Both of them did once you started crawling towards your room, ass perked up letting them see your panties under your skirt. Might as well put on a show.

After entering your room the door was closed behind you and soon you felt Wonwoo's hand grip your hair pulling you up by it. You grimaced in pain and after you put on your best puppy eyes, maybe you could get them to forgive you, even just a little.

"Don't look at me like that. You know what you did, and you're getting what you deserve for it. Now climb on the bed and take off your clothes for us baby" he pushed you towards the bed.

You stumbled a little before getting on the bed. You went towards the middle and once you reached the spot you started undressing yourself.

You made eye contact with both of them while you threw the clothes around your room, putting on a show.

"Don't take the skirt off" Mingyu spoke up now "you know how much I love them on you" he smiled before approaching you.

Both of them slowly made their way towards you and you noticed they still had their shirts on, but you assumed it was another way of punishing you. Not letting you see or touch anything that wasn't their cock.

They climbed onto the bed and before doing anything Mingyu looked at Wonwoo, ready for another round of rock, paper scissors.

"Back door or front door?" Wonwoo asked.

"Back" Mingyu said without hesitation.

"You can have it. I want what's mine. This pussy" He gripped your legs and immediately pulled you towards him, now hovering over you.

"H-huh? Wait. Then I also want it! Come on rock paper scissors." he pushed Wonwoo, but the man wasn't having it.

"No. You said you wanted the back door. Now fuck off. Think before you speak next time, stupid motherfucker..." he glared at Mingyu before looking back at you.

"That's not fair" Mingyu mumbled angrily before moving and sitting against the bed headboard.

"Shut up, you're ruining the fucking mood by acting like a child. Gosh how do you handle this. Is he always this bitchy?" Wonwoo sighed tiredly.

"Kind of" you mumbled expecting Mingyu to not hear you.

"What the fuck do you mean by kind of?" He nearly spit out, anger growing inside of him.

"I'm sorry" you immediately mumbled sitting up, taking Wonwoo with you.

"You can't cum." The eldest warned before pulling you up and slamming into you without any other warning.

You moaned loudly holding onto his shoulders so you wouldn't fall down on the bed.

Mingyu didn't waste any more time and slid behind you, holding your waist before slowly pushing into your rim.

"Fuck" you managed to say while feeling how both of them filled you up.

It was new, but a good kind of new. You felt so full, so good. It was something you had never ever felt before, but you could definitely get used to it.

"No bad words. Pretty girls don't curse" Mingyu said after slapping your mouth.

"Pretty girls also don't lie and fuck your enemies behind their back, so I would say she's not a pretty girl. She's a whore. A cockslut that only thinks about fucking" Wonwoo muttered as his thrusts became harsher.

Both of them were going at a quick pace, you could feel them practically rearranging your guts. You could feel every inch, every vein, every angry touch against your waist. A grip so deadly that would definitely leave bruises.

They had no mercy at all, you didn't deserve it anyways. And you didn't want it. If punishment felt like this you would definitely misbehave more.

Their hands started wandering elsewhere, Wonwoo pinched your nipples while Mingyu slapped your ass harshly, leaving the red mark of his big hand there.

You were completely squeezed between them, enjoying the roughness of it all. They were usually pretty forceful and brute during sex, but this time it was extreme.

Wonwoo went to squeeze your neck smiling when you made eye contact with him, you could barely keep your eyes open as they kept rolling back from the sensation.

Your mouth was agape, letting out whimpers, moans, strangled words, and weird sounds you couldn't even decipher what they were.

It felt like your tongue was going numb, you couldn't even think about anything else that wasn't the two boys.

"Pretty little cock slut, look at her, all fucked out and dumb, my pretty dumb baby" Wonwoo smiled and let go of your neck.

"No. MY pretty dumb baby" he made a particular sharp thrust making you almost scream.

"Shut up. Mine." Wonwoo started sucking on your neck leaving a pretty mark there, proudly looking at it.

"No. Mine." Mingyu also reached for your neck, leaving a hickey right on the other side.

They looked at each other with hate filled gazed before continuing their job to fuck you stupid.

Even if you already were.

You wanted to come so bad, but you couldn't, you knew you couldn't. You didn't want to make things worse.

You held onto Wonwoo's shoulders tightly containing everything inside, making your insides squeeze both of them.

And to your fortune (and their misfortune) they came, shooting everything inside you. Every single drop.

You couldn't help but pant loudly, head resting back onto Mingyu's shoulder.

"That was amazing" he mumbled against your ear and you nodded.

"I hope you learned your lesson, because now, you'll have to choose" Wonwoo pulled out from you, admiring the way your hole pulsated while letting his cum out.

"w-what..?" you looked at him extremely confused.

Mingyu also pulled away now, coping Wonwoo while staring at your ass, clearly enjoying the view.

"Choose. Me or Mingyu."

"Wonwoo... I- I can't do that..." you shook your head looking down, bitting slightly onto your lower lip.

"Yes you can. Choose one y/n. Me or Mingyu."

You looked up now, just to see Mingyu sitting next to Wonwoo. And you couldn't help but look at both of them. You felt helpless. What were you supposed to do? Choose? Between them? No. You couldn't.

"I really can't Wonwoo... I-I'm sorry- but I just can't" you were so nervous not knowing what went inside Wonwoo's mind, but it was definitely something not good.

His face told you everything. He was disappointed. Disappointed because you didn't choose him like he thought you would. He thought it was an easy thought. That you would just blurt out his name without hesitation.

"Neither it is then." He stood up and you immediately held onto his wrist.

"No, Wonwoo please... Don't do this please... Don't make me choose, I don't want to lose neither of you please" tears started rolling down your cheeks.

"I'm sorry, but we made kind of a deal... At the end you had to choose one of us or neither..." Mingyu muttered awkwardly while standing up.

"No. Why? I don't get it" you tried to chase after Wonwoo but you could barely stand up after what happened.

"It's a pride thing. We can't just share you... That would be the lowest of low. It was already torture to share you with him right now... If it wasn't because you feel so good I would have beat him already" Mingyu said while looking at Wonwoo.

"I guess love is really like sour grapes" Wonwoo muttered before heading out your room, he needed to get his pants and leave. Leave before he felt more like a piece of shit.

'Love?' you thought to yourself. Did Wonwoo love you...? No. That couldn't be. You guys were just fuck buddies. Then why did he say that, why did it hurt so fucking much. Gosh. You didn't even understand yourself.

"I'm sorry y/n... I guess this is the last time we're seeing each other. Goodbye" Mingyu looked away and walked towards the living room where his pants where.

With the little strength you had left you stood up and put on a hoodie, walking to the living room, seeing both boys there.

"Y/n it's not worth it. We made a deal. And a deal is a deal." Mingyu stated before finishing to zip up his pants.

Wonwoo looked at your direction and you couldn't stop crying, you couldn't even mutter a single word, you just didn't want them to leave. Not like this.

"P-p-please..." you whimpered while shaking your head.

"Goodbye" He said before heading out, both of them did. Leaving you all alone.

You were a crying mess, now kneeling down on the floor as you couldn't stop. You felt horrible, you couldn't forget Wonwoo's look and words. They didn't leave your head. Should you have chosen him? But Mingyu was so important to you too, you couldn't possibly do that. You didn't do it before. That's why you fucked both to begin with.

Wonwoo also felt miserable. If he had just told you the truth to begin with nothing of this would have happened. He was stupid. Stupid and lonely. A loser.

Mingyu also felt bad. Seeing you cry like that made him feel like a criminal that just killed your parents in front of your pure eyes. But he was a man of pride, and he always kept his word. He couldn't simply break it for you, not when he knew Wonwoo would probably punch him if he did. And he was definitely not the mood for another fight.

"Well, I guess this is over now... Neither of us won" The taller said before sighing heavily.

"I fucking hate you." those were Wonwoo's words before driving away in his motorcycle.

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main masterlist

svt masterlist

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for pretending to lose consciousness and using it as an excuse to drop out of school?

This happened when I was in HS but it's still eating me up. I (18F at the time) suffer from a severe case of IBS, which went undiagnosed for years. During the events of this story, I had no idea what my illness was which I suffered from ever since I was a toddler. My parents took me to several doctor, all who insisted I was perfectly healthy. Every year, the pain would get increasingly worse, and we try a different doctor every once in a while. I gave up seeking medical help during middle school because I was frustrated, the doctors believed I was faking to skip school and refused to write me notes. My parents know I don't lie, yet the doctor's words got to them. They don't exactly think I'm faking, but they think I'm exaggerating a mild stomachache because I wanted to skip school and have no will to fight. I mean, it's true that I have a low tolerance to pain, even getting my hair straightened is a painful experience for me everytime.

Anyway, since IBS tends to attack when someone feels bad, high school was the worst period in my life for numerous reasons but mainly because I was getting severely bullied. Also due to my frustration with doctors, I started believing that my illness was terminal and had yet to be discovered and I was severely depressed thinking my death was soon, which made my IBS worse. When the pain was at its worst, it felt like my belly was being stabbed from the inside by several knives, it leaves me to exhausted to get up from my bed. I always locked my room's door so my parents wouldn't try to drag me out of the bed Whenever I wanted to skip school. Despite at the constant pain I was in, never once did I lose consciousness because of it. Sometimes I wish I could faint so I wouldn't feel the pain for a short a period of time, but it never happened.

In days which pain is manageable, I try my best to go to school, I often attended 2-3 days each week. I specifically insisted on going to this school because it's lenient, unlike the school my parents tried to send me to.

However, just because the pain was manageable, it didn't mean that I was feeling fine. The constant exhaustion from the severe IBS attacks left me tired all the time and I just wanted to lay in my bed again. I spent most of my time at school resting my head on the desk and teachers got used to it, but they drew the line at me actually falling asleep in class.

It happened when I was like 4-5 months away from graduating, I just wanted to rest, I had enough of the pain that I didn't want to set afoot in school again, but my parents wouldn't let me. Eveyrone thinks I'm fine and just exaggerating, that's why, I used my perfect acting skills to drop to the floor while sitting in my chair, I heard everyone whispering about how worrying the way I fell was, that it must be something serious. Classmates kept shaking me for a minute but I didn't react because I wanted it to look real. I eventually pretended to wake up and told them that I couldn't handle it anymore. That period was my Physics final, which I didn't study for, and I didn't want to take it. I have no idea what lessons we took because I never studied or paid attention in class, I was literally at my limit.

I was allowed to rest that day, and when I went back home I told my parents about losing consciousness and that I desperately need to rest. They allowed me to drop out on the condition I go back to school the next year, I agreed, but secretly believed I would never live that long to attend school ever again.

My best friend cried really hard when I told her we wouldn't be graduating together and begged me to reconsider. I told her my illness got worse to the point I started fainting, and I desperately needed to rest.

Of course, I'm still very much alive and learned what's actually wrong with me (I literally self diagnosed myself based on people's experiences on the internet then "confronted" a doctor about it) and the IBS attacks are mild and manageable these days since I know what I need to do to avoid them, I have a full time job and rarely ever need to skip. But the guilt is making me feel like TA for worrying everyone about me and breaking my bff's heart. AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[diazisms]

Please with a cherry on top 🍒💕 tell us all about your little aus you have for bucktommy.

Especially the season 1 divergence 💛

surely i will!!!! this got very long btw so i'm putting it under a read more but the aus i mentioned in the tags of this post are

model au

college au

neighbor au

canon divergence s1 meeting

okay here you go:

model au: this is the one that sparked that entire post bc i saw those two photos and went "wait....." anyway. buck and tommy meet on a shoot and buck is immediately reduced to a giggly, blushing mess. he's new to the modelling industry but so ridiculously pretty he's already getting booked left and right. tommy's been in the game for a while, and he's so comfortable in his skin in front of the camera that it has buck watching him in awe. a bts video of a shoot they did together blows up on twitter, people talking about their chemistry, how hot they are together, and it gets people talking. buck is terribly, terribly embarrassed, worried tommy's gonna realize buck's got a huge crush on him, but then tommy doesn't mind at all, and is actually really, really on board with buck's feelings if the hickeys the makeup department have to cover the next time he's in front of a camera are anything to go by

(also, buck discovering he loves being behind the camera and getting every candid of his boyfriend possible. the professional, smoldering, glamour shots are nice, yeah, but the one of tommy smiling when he realizes buck's been taking pictures of him? those are his favorites.)

college au: listen, i know hs/college au's aren't for everyone but i love them. the frat parties, the "we kissed the day before christmas break and now i don't know how you feel because we're not talking and i can't just show up at your dorm" angst, their friends pestering them about the obvious feelings they have for each other. come on!!! buck and tommy are both freshman though tommy's a bit older because he took some time between high school and college to get a job so he could pay for his school. buck thinks tommy doesn't like him very much but tommy's kind of in love with the guy, but the way he shows his affection and his teasing attempts at flirting are clearly not getting the message across. so he kisses him in the front lawn of a frat house during a party because obviously they're in frats and buck doesn't get it, thinks tommy's doing it because he found out buck likes him and is making fun of him, and tommy doesn't even let him finish angrily confessing his feelings before he's tackling him onto the lawn and kissing him stupid.

neighbor au: they both work odd hours. tommy's still a firefighter but buck's a nurse and they've seen each other a few times on the job, enough that buck's coworkers always let him know when the hot firefighter came by, but they have no idea they're neighbors because their hours just never. line. up. until one day buck's sick to the point not even he can justify going to work and tommy's got his day off and they run into each other in the hallway of their apartment complex when buck goes out to get his door dash. he is immediately horrendously embarrassed because ohmygod the hot firefighter knows what i look like in spongebob pajama pants. tommy doesn't mind though, clearly, because a few hours later he's knocking on buck's door and handing over a tupperware of homemade cookies. tommy doesn't stick around very long because buck is clearly super tired, but when buck opens the lid there's a note with tommy's number and a 'next time we have off on the same day, you wanna grab coffee?' the smiley face is lopsided and uneven but it makes the biggest grin appear on buck's face

(also, they have dogs in the selfies i used in that post and i like to think their dogs are also dating thanks)

canon divergence: oh man i LOVE canon divergence in general, but s1 bucktommy would go so hard. like au where tommy doesn't leave the 118 so he's there for buck's probie year? incredible. tommy, for starters, wouldn't be able to stand buck 1.0 and buck, like the oblivious bisexual he is, wouldn't understand why he cares so much. slowly, buck starts trying to get his attention. talking to him, getting to know him. tommy's still in the closet and trying to keep from losing his mind because the pretty playboy who sleeps around is suddenly no longer hooking up with women in favor of trying to get to know him. tommy knows he should tell buck to stop because there's no way this won't end with his heart broken (who hasn't fallen for a straight person and cried to sad ballads about it? queer culture), but buck is actually sweet and he's not funny because his jokes are terrible but he makes him laugh and tommy's determined to introduce him to all the best, classic romcoms (the man's favorite movie is love, actually, c'mon). the more time they spend together the less buck goes out, and after a long shift, sitting on the floor of tommy's living room eating pizza, when tommy starts leaning in, buck doesn't think twice before closing the distance. tommy pulls back, asks if he's sure, if this is okay, and buck, who hasn't had sex since he realized he wanted tommy in a big, bad, really really gay way, kisses him breathless.

tommy doesn't want to pressure buck, doesn't want to move too fast because he really, really likes him. buck is annoyingly charmed by it because he's never had a meaningful relationship and as weird as it is to want that with a guy he really does want it with tommy (but he also obviously takes it as a challenge to see how far he can push his boyfriend's buttons before he bends him over the back of the couch).

okay yeah these are my bucktommy au ideas i love them very bad thanks mwah!!!

[lewoooooo]

The little things about JayTim #4

Tim is a person who doesn’t have much requirements or cravings for food.

Since his family was wealthy since he was a child, Tim knows a lot about high-end food and can distinguish it.  But he thinks cheap food is also delicious.

Anyway, he doesn't know what he's eating when he gets busy.

Tim isn't particularly a coffee drinker, he also drinks strong tea and energy drinks (he tried mixing them all together, which worked, but got scolded)

What he likes is a drink that gives him a pick-me-up.

There are many types of coffee, and it is also very suitable to keep around without attracting attention (energy drinks are banned because they appear so often, and coffee is also restricted...)

This makes Tim Drake-Wayne look like he just loves to drink coffee (people who don’t know will think it’s the same cup, people who know will ask: How MANY cups of coffee have you had today?).

Tim cares more about who he eats with than what he eats.

The first date was proposed by Tim. In order to make the date more perfect, he asked everyone around him (including Jason's friends). Jason thinks Tim is cute like this, so he will deliberately let Tim make decisions for him.

It wasn't until Jason ate chili dog SIX times that he discovered that Babybird REALLY DIDN'T care about eating.

Jason is not picky about food. But since he was adopted by Bruce, his diet became very high quality and his tolerance for unpalatable food had became less.

The young Jason just wanted to learn how to cook so that he could survive, but later learned to taste food (Thanks to Alfred). Even when he grew up and became rich, Jason was still not used to going to expensive restaurants. So he sometimes buys ingredients to cook at home (Even Justice League knows the rumor that Red Hood can cook)

Cooking is easy, but thinking about what you want to eat is HARD.

But Jason wanted Tim to find food he really liked to eat and wanted to feed him(he is TOO light), so he started asking Tim to think about what to eat for each meal.

Jason wanted to cook for him, and Tim was certainly happy, but he really didn't have any ideas.

After Tim mentioned ALL the menus he could refer to, he remembered the tuna sandwich that Bruce had made a long time ago.

Tim take the tuna sandwich made by Jason at noon and go to eat with Bruce.

They are chatting like that day.

[salty-jade]

Steps: Hand Holding

Pairing: Tom!Peter Parker x Fem! Reader

Theme: Fluff, just fluff.

Summary: Peter wants to hold hand with you, but how are you going to do that without exlpoding every single time he touches you?

Note: Okay, I'm back at it again. I think... Tbh this is sort of based on my own what if of myself once I have that special someone. also, I did this all in one go, so no edits whatsoever :D. If there is something triggering in this pls let me know!

Everyone in you circle of friends knew you had the biggest crush on Peter Parker. Obviously they didn’t know why since he was sort of a nerd and a geek at the same time. Well for you, that wasn’t a deal breaker since you liked him because he was just him. Loving, caring, sweet and if you look closely, actually handsome. Nevertheless, your friends were supportive and tried everything to get you two together.

So it came to no surprise for them that you two ended up together. Though, it was really because you discovered his secret identity by accident when you were taking out the trash at the same alley way where Peter would change into his super suit. Plus point for you since you saw his bare torso, which you swore justified your case on how handsome he was.

Still, because of that incident, you two became closer, and bloomed into something more. So now your friends are gushing over the possible things you and Peter would do as a new couple. Eat lunch together, walk to class together, talk about each other to other people, hold hands.

Wait.

Hold hands?

As in you and Peter’s fingers locking together while swinging your arms as you both cross a field of daisies???

Nope. Nope. and NOPE!

If Peter had a big secret to keep from the whole world, you had one too. Well, it’s not as huge as Peter’s but still something that you don’t want other people to know about. Peter’s your first boyfriend, therefore you’ve never really been physical with a guy before. The only people you could tolerate physical touch was the men in your family.

“Oh, don’t forget protection ok?! tell him to wrap his junior before sticking it in”

“Also, consent is important for both you and him okay girl? also…”

While your friends kept giving you tips on how to essentially ‘turn on’ your boyfriend and please him, all you could think in your head was about how you were going to even hold hands with him when he asks. forget sex, you could die just from holding hands!

So far, Peter hasn’t really touched you in anyway whatsoever. Heck, when you both confessed, Peter couldn’t event try and land a kiss on you because suddenly his senses alerted him of a villain so he had to drop you off somewhere safe before going out to battle.

The moment he wrapped his arms around your waist to hoist him up, your stomach was doing flips, face becoming different shades of red, and your brain turned into mush. You had to dunk your head into the bathtub to cool yourself from the heat of your face. You thought something was wrong with you. You thought it was weird for someone to be overstimulated with just a few touches with your partner. The romcoms you watch in your laptop certainly made it seem so. It made it seem like an amazing experience where you and your partner could share sweet moments together and just enjoy each other’s presence and act like it was only you two in the entire world. Well, both your heart and mind could not handle that much intimacy.

Was it because you’ve never date anyone before? or was it because you just have high expectations so your afraid of underperforming. Regardless of the reason, it was better to come clean to Peter rather than just keeping it to yourself.

Just as you made your self-declaration, you felt and hand on your arm, pulling you closer to another person’s body.

“Hey there Y/N!” your body, as if it was on auto-pilot, jumped at his touch and voice and instinctively backed a bit to hard unto your locker. Causing it to temporarily shake both the locker and somewhat your body due to the shock. Peter, being the lovely boyfriend he was, felt bad since he thought it was his fault for startling you and tried to hold you to help soothe the pain. Before he could do that though, you again backed away from him and kept a safe distance from him so he couldn’t touch you so you wouldn’t turn to mush.

“Hey! Hey Peter! umm how’s it going?” the fact that you tried to deescalate the situation to make it seem less awkward, just made the situation more awkward. Peter could only raise a brow at you and replied to your question.

“Everything’s good. yeah. I just wanted to see if you would want to walk to AP calculus together…” He said. The sound of guilt and confusion lingered in his voice as every time he raised his hand even slightly you would sort of jerk away from his touch.

“sure sure. we can do that, I just need to…” you looked around your surroundings to find a place where you could cool down for a bit before getting to class. Luckily, you found a bathroom.

“go to the bathroom real quick that’s all! So wait for me okay?! great!” before he could even reply, you dashed across the hall and into the bathroom to spare you the embarrassment.

One of your friends just patted Peter in the back to help reassure him that that was just who you were. “don’t worry, she LOVES you to death. she’s just shy that’s all.” and with that, your friend group had dispersed, each going to their own classes for today.

While you were in the bathroom checking the mirror to see if your face was still red from being touched by Peter. It wasn’t that Peter was not allowed to touch you. In fact, you really wanted to hold hands with him, but your body just reacts in the weirdest ways and your brain perceives it as you being overstimulated.

Before going out again, you took out a few books from your bag and carried them instead, just so could occupy them and avoid holding hands with Peter.

Peter saw you coming out of the bathroom, and he gave you his honest smile and walked up to you.

“I can carry those books for you if you wa-”

“NO!” ok that response was too fast, let’s try that again.

“I mean, no need. It’s ok! besides, you wouldn’t want people to know about the ‘thing you have right’?” you let out a dry chuckle, knowing that your excuse was the dumbest thing Peter might have heard in his entire life.

The whole walk towards class was weird in general. Peter kept wanting to try and find an opening to at least hold your shoulder or at least offer to carry your stuff so he could hold your hand, but something tells him that you were intentionally avoiding that opportunity for him. In the end, when you both made it to your seats in class, you both just exchanged notes while you tried to send him cute doodles so that he didn’t feel too bummed out about not being able to hold your hand.

You knew he didn’t deserve this treatment. He should be able to hold his girlfriend, kiss her whenever he wanted to. But, you just couldn’t handle the overload of affection from him. He was like the sun, while you were the midnight sky shying away from everything.

You both went on with your days as if you were just friends. Peter still tried to find an opening to at least graze your hand but, nothing. He sensed there must be something wrong with you. Maybe he was imagining things when you actually confessed that you liked him? was he reading the signals wrong? whatever it was, even Peter couldn’t solve this with only his intuition only. It was best that he asked you directly instead.

As soon as you both stepped out of the school, where a good few inches of empty space were between you and Peter, peter turned to you before you had the chance to escape the awkward situation.

“Can we talk?” he said. Your instincts were telling you that he probably wanted to talk about what happened this morning and your over all behavior today. I mean who could blame him, the whole day you’ve been avoiding his touches and advances the best you could so that you wouldn’t explode from an overload.

“y-yeah sure…”

Peter and you agreed it be better to talk about it back at his place since May wouldn’t be around the apartment. Though, it didn’t help you calm your worries since this is more about how are you going to explain it to Peter rather than having to go through May’s constant teasing of the two of you.

And now here you were, in his apartment.

alone.

together.

on the couch.

.

.

.

NOPE NOPE NOPE! even if there was no contact between you two, for some reason this situation alone was enough to make you overload. Even a blind person could tell you were nervous about this whole situation. You were as stiff as a tree, you wouldn’t even let yourself relax into the couch and sat in an upright position with your legs shut close together, while your hands were a=placed on top of them in the form of fist. Where even your knuckles started to turn white. Ok, now is a good as time as any for Peter to bring it up.

Peter sat back down on the couch after he grabbed you both something cool to drink. For some reason, he knew this conversation was going to make you burn up.

“Okay, umm… did I do something wrong?” your head shot up to look at him the instant he said those words.

“WHAT?! NO! I-I mean…. no… well, I mean there is something wrong but it’s not you per say… rather,” and there you go, falling a part as soon as you opened your mouth. God, you wish you could just crawl into a hole and die rather than explain the weirdest thing about you. But as you looked into his eyes. his warm brown eyes, you knew he deserved to know. So, you took a deep breath and tried to carefully construct the next few sentences in your head so that Peter can understand you.

“just so were on the same page, you noticed I’ve been trying to avoid… touching you right?”

All Peter could do was nod at your statement. He decided it was best if he added some words to it as well.

“Yeah, and I mean I get it if you don’t want us to be physical because if that’s your preference then by all means go-” You waved your hands in the air to tell him to shut up for a bit.

“No, no that’s not what I meant…I guess you could say I’m the weird one” Peter was sure he wasn’t following what you were saying just now. How could you be weird?

“Look, I don’t know why I’m like this, but… I’ve never had a boyfriend before and the thought of being in a relationship is new to me. What’s also new to me is the fact that I get to be physical with someone that I have really like and…” you looked back again at his face to see if he was following you along before continuing.

“The thought of even just holding hands with someone, especially you, just overwhelms me. I feel warm and fuzzy of course when I’m with you, like my heart just wants to jump around the room. But at the same time it feels like it might just burst and I feel like a PC that just short-circuits due to the heat. I guess you could say I get overstimulated? I’m not sure what to call it, but that’s just how I am…”

You didn’t realize that you were curling up into a ball on his couch when you finished your explanation. it did make a nice place to burry your head into so that you could calm yourself down for a bit before hearing Peter’s reply to what you just said.

Peter felt, giddy? like as if he saw the most cutest plush bear in the world and wanted to hug it so tight cause it was so cute. That was how he felt after your whole explanation. Your reason was totally valid, but on the other hand it also make Peter want to hold you close and see your face get red in the cutest way possible. Though, that might just make things worse.

You heard rustling from the other side of the couch and watch Peter hold up one of his fingers to you. Your brows furrowed at his sudden act.

“Let’s try something. I hold up one of my finger, and you just touch mine with your. how bout that?”

You swore this whole situation felt like something a pre-school teacher would do to a kid to get to know them.

“come on just humor me. Besides, think of it as a training exercise for yourself” and so you did.

You held out your index finger and connected the two together. You felt like Peter was E.T and you were the young boy in the movie.

“Are we recreating E.T here?!”

“I don’t know, maybe~” you giggled at his response.

“Ok, how bout we try this now,” Peter held out all his other fingers, signaling you to do the same with your hands. You showed signs of hesitance but you wanted to try even for a bit.

You unraveled your hands and brought both of your fingertips together slowly. First the thumbs, then the middle finger, the ring finger and finally your pinky. Your stomach felt like it was fluttering, along with you heartbeat starting to pick up the pace.

Peter could tell you were starting to “short-circuit” as you described. So he let you know it was ok if you didn’t want to continue. “We can stop if you want.”

you shook your head while keeping your hand steady in the air with his. Both of your fingertips were still touching, not once have you flinched away from his.

“I-it’s okay, I really wanna try holding your hand” the last bit of the sentence you dialed it down a bit so that Peter couldn’t hear it. Though, we all know he could hear it.

As if you were an astronaut taking your first step on a planet, you slowly brought you palm closer to Peter’s. Peter has not moved an inch from his position, so all of this was your own doing. Then slowly, but surely, your hands were clasped together. Now you could feel your face starting to burn, and your heart was pumping faster. This was only just hands touching, imagine if you did some of the things your friends kept telling you about.

Peter felt proud of you, even though he could see your face turn into different shades of red, but proud. Now, he felt like doing something bold, maybe you weren’t ready for it, but he wanted to at least try and see your reaction.

“I’m gonna do something so, be prepared ok”

“what?”

“Trust me” trust me. Never would you think those were the words from Peter that would make you turn into mush.

Peter then did the unthinkable, well at least for you. He shifted his hand a bit and slowly intertwined his hands with yours. Now, your fingers were interlaced with each other. You were both now holding hands. Something Peter wanted to do for the whole day. His hold on you was firm, not to the point where it hurts, but firm in a way that says he would never let go of you.

Your eyes widened, your instincts are telling you to pull away and stick your head into the bathtub filled with cold water. are your hands starting to sweat? you think it does. Are you sweating? maybe? God you are! What’s happening? can you still see Peter? Yes, but right now you really don’t want to turn into a tomato in front of him so you look to the side so that your hair is covering your face and avoid looking at him. But despite all that, your hand was still holding his. Never letting go.

Peter thought enough was enough so he tried to pull a way so that you could at least breath. Surprisingly, you were the one that held on.

“I- I don’t want my efforts to go to waste, or yours. So… is it okay if we stay like this for a bit” you were still looking away from Peter, but you lowered your hands so that it was comfortably resting on the couch.

“My heart is like beating a thousand miles per second right now I think, but I-I’m okay…” You finally looked at Peter. Your cheeks were flushed with shades of red, and your eyes seemed more like a doe to Peter now. God, he really wanted to hold you close now.

He shuffled a bit in the couch, trying to close the distance between you little by little.

“Is this okay?” Peter asked. He was still an arms length far from you, but closer nonetheless. You nodded. He then shifted closer, asking the same thing, and you replied the same. After going back and forth a bit, Peter was now only a few inches away from your body. You both still kept some form of distance, but the proximity between you two was closer than you could ever imagine. Peter asked one last time.

“How about this? Is this too close for you?” He said, almost like a whisper. Your heart had reached it’s breaking point, your brain was already in the process of turning into goop, your body was overheating as if gas was leaking out of your skin. Yeah, this was your limit for now Peter thought.

He backed a few inches away from you so you could compose yourself, while his eyes were still watching your every move. You finally let go of his hand and fanned yourself to cool your face.

You gave him a sheepish smile as you’re still embarrassed about the whole thing you just did with him, at the same time you were happy he tried to help you. Though, you don’t know how much your heart can take it if he keeps doing these things.

“How bout we just stick to hand holding for now?” you said.

Peter gave you his signature smile and grabbed your hand to hold it on his own. Though, he wasn’t done teasing you just yet, as once he grabbed your hand, he brought the back of your hand to his lips and kissed it as if he was a prince in a fairy tale giving the princess a greeting.

yeah, it was then and there you fainted.

[hiwelcometothemonstersancturary]

Could you tell us more about Bubba and Kickin’s hypothetical relationship?

We all know it'll take me one business day to actually make them a part of the AU, and then soon after It'll be the sapphics turn...

AHEM.

They survived together after Picky attacked both of them. They stayed by each other's side and Kickin did his best to "repair" Bubba's body and avoid giving him an infection. His job was a succesful one, thankfully!

Anyways there's something really intimate about giving the guy you always admired surgery because your bestie tried to eat both him and you. That "something really intimate" is called "realizing you would die for him" btw.

I think they both knew one had feelings for the other, but had a silent agreement on not doing anything about it whatsoever, too busy with surviving. Kickin put together some tools to help Bubba navigate, including a makeshift wheelchair. He did his best trying to protect him, but they still got separated and ended up having to survive alone for months before the rescue. They thought the other had died.

I cannot talk enough about how much they cried when they realized the other was alive. Bubba was sobbing and he always had a hard time even getting teary.

Kickin is two things: Very small and Very overprotective. Don't get him wrong he's just >:( because he's still in survival mode. He refused to leave the hospital before Bubba, but he had to.

Bubba seems to hold the braincell and is the only one able to put some sense into Kickin's "oh no oh no oh no oh no something will happen and we're all going to die and I NEED to keep my friends safe for when the thing happens" mindset. Kickin is also the only one Bubba listens to when he's told he needs to take a break because his brain literally cannot take it anymore.

They're not lovey-dovey like Catnap and Dogday, only doing the physical contact stuff when they're sleeping next to each other. Kickin is the big spoon.

They are however two huge nerds. Kickin likes hearing infodumps and Bubba likes giving them. They discover D&D and teach the others about it, as well as Yu-Gi-Oh and MtG. Their idea of "quality time" is either 2 hour-long PowerPoint presentation done by Bubba or 4 hour-long session of a bunch of card games.

The only thing that stopped them from just calling each other partner (romantic way) is the fact that they were so used by their silent deal of not talking about it they forgot they should talk about it, actually, and it's only when they're watching Catnap and Dogday be absolute idiots for each other that they realize that Uh-Oh they don't have much judging power on this one!!!!

I don't think they'll ever get married on paper. They just don't care enough about it, and nothing would change for them. They're happy with being boyfriends and with having separate rooms, as they just like having personal space!

Kickin discovers how to get a tattoo on his bigger bodies body and makes Bubba pick something for him. I'm not set on what the final choice was but I know it was EXTREMELY silly and Bubba got mad for Kickin for actually going with the silly option (affectionate).

Kickin pranks Bubba all the time. And vice-versa. It's how they say "I love you" to each other.

No one realizes these two are a thing until some weeks later, when Dogday asks them about it and they're both like "oh yeah we are :}". Literally the only people who knew were Delight (Bubba told her) and Angel (who told Kickin to talk to Bubba).

Anyways they're silly, I love them <3

[wolfstrong]

The reason why Riley was so floppish was because he didn’t mesh with the group and I couldn’t even imagine his interactions with the scoobs other then like. Oh yeah that’s Buffy’s boyfriend. TARA on the other hand is so so real to me that even if they don’t show it because she’s not like constantly in the show I can so perfectly imagine how she gets alone with everyone and how she fits into the group dynamic.

They in “I was made for you” they had a scene of Tara and Anya walking and just talking about random computer stuff together and it made me so happy because I already felt like Tara and Anya would get along despite the fact that Willow doesn’t like Anya. I think that Tara would like the fact that Anya is very straightforward as I imagine Tara wouldn’t be one for very complicated social queues or having to act fake. Anya just tells it like it is and is also deeply strange, something I think Tara appreciates in a person.

I think that Tara generally gets along with everyone in the gang but Xanders the person she struggles with the most. I think they both really really want to get along with each other because they both know how much the other means to Willow, but this pressure to get along creates a tension that neither of them can preform properly under. Tara is the type to be more quiet when she feels awkward Xander definitely feels awkward when it’s quiet and has to babble nervously to fill the silence. This leads to them having many fumbled uncomfortably interactions despite them both meaning the best. I think they would eventually discover that they share some weird niche common interest and they could use that as a jumping point to slowly bond and relate to each other. I could see them eventually having like some real ass late night back porch talk about both growing up in abusive households where Xander cries but that’s like way down the line.

And her just like really genuinely loving Dawn and even if it’s quietly and from far away trying her best to look out for her and steer her in the right direction. I think Tara sees that Dawn often feels outcasted and different from everyone else and she’s able to really empathize as she felt the same way at that age. And of course Giles who she respects a lot and sees as the steadfast parental figure she never got. And Buffy, who before her moms death may have been a little hard to relate to and very intimidating. But after I think they have a level of trust and understand between them that runs deep. Tara will always be there when Buffy needs to talk about things that no one else gets, and vise versa.

Anyway did you know that I’m obsessed with Tara and I love her

[oceanlix]

Nobody Here Can Stop Us

Pairing: Soobin x female reader

Genre: Smut

Word count: 2491

Warnings: Prince AU (that makes no sense really lol), masturbation (male), begging, handjob, blowjob, switch Soobin, switch reader, Soobin comes on her face, fingering, praise, nipple play, teasing, riding, hint of a bulge kink, exhibitionism, slight degradation, slight possessiveness, unprotected sex

It’s not that Soobin is stupid, far from it actually. But the Queen had insisted as soon as he was old enough that the King appoint their second eldest child with an advisor to help him navigate the political world. The King heavily favored the crown prince, Yeonjun, and the Queen did not want her son to fall out of favor for the son of a concubine. And lucky for you, you’d been chosen for the job.

You’d been by Soobin’s side since he was thirteen, teaching him the rules and etiquette of the court. Not much older than him, the two of you essentially grew up together, of course a little faster than either of you would have liked. But at least you were in it together.

Currently, Soobin sits in his office, eyebrows drawn together as he studies a map of some mountains in the southern region. His younger brother, Beomgyu, had discovered some desirable mineral resources there and suggested an expedition to investigate the viability of mining them for the kingdom. Soobin was the deciding factor, being in charge of the reserve soldiers.

You sit on the window perch, twirling your quill absentmindedly. How long does one need to study a map, anyway? You glance towards the desk with a slight frown, boredom creeping up with each passing second.

“Have you made your decision yet?” you huff, standing up and walking over to the prince’s desk. Soobin lifts his head, the frown lines on his face smoothing out as he grins at you. You ignore the little jump in your heartbeat, waiting for his response.

“I’m not sure. The minerals might be worthwhile, but the mountain path likely hasn’t been cleared for several years and it might be dangerous to travel on. I don’t want any of the reserve soldiers to get injured unnecessarily, after all.”

You smile, proud of your prince for thinking so thoroughly through the options. He’s come a long way from when you first joined him, back when he was just a naive prince from a rich and noble family. Now he thought of all his subjects equally, worried about them like they were his own flesh and blood. He made for a good leader.

You lean against the desk beside him, reaching out to smooth down a stray hair on his head. Soobin turns his chair towards you and tugs at your hand, making you step closer until you’re right between his spread legs.

“What do you think, my dear advisor?” he whispers, resting his hands on your hips. You pretend to think about it as he pulls you into his lap, the hard press of his cock against your ass almost distracting you.

“I think you should approve the expedition,” you tell him, one hand trailing down his chest. His shirt is unbuttoned a bit due to the summer air, so he shivers at your touch. “But only allow half of the reserve soldiers to go. That way, if there are any injuries, it won’t totally wipe out the entire army.”

Soobin nuzzles his head against your stomach, sighing deeply. “I knew you’d have a solution,” he says, looking up at you like you hung the moon yourself. “My pretty and sweet advisor always knows the right answer.”

You giggle at his words as he starts to undo his trousers, pushing them down to his ankles. It’s filthy that he’s bare from the waist down inside his office, where just about anyone could walk in and see you two. But it doesn’t stop the arousal from swirling deep in your belly, especially when he wraps a hand around his cock and starts tugging it.

“Do you want some help with that?” you purr, eyes fixed on the precum dribbling from his pink tip. Soobin seems a little distracted, biting his lip as he groans out loud.

“Please,” he begs quietly, and you’re on your knees before him in a second. You push his hand away and wrap your own around him, ignoring his needy whine in favor of licking his cockhead. You take him deeper into your mouth, your hand stroking the part that doesn’t fit. Your jaw is already spread so wide you know it will ache tomorrow, but it’s a small price to pay when you get to see the prince like this.

“More,” he urges, reaching down to grab your hair. You glare up at him until he releases you, pulling off of his dick with a frown.

“Did you forget I’m in charge now?” you ask, squeezing the base of his shaft a little too roughly. He whimpers, head shaking back and forth quickly. “That’s what I thought.”

You take him back into your mouth again, all the way down your throat this time. You swallow around the prince, your hand cupping and squeezing his balls as he moans endlessly. His thighs start to tremble and you know that he’s close, so you hum around him to help him finish.

“I’m-“ he huffs with effort, hand reaching out for you but stopping himself just in time. “Gonna cum!”

You grin, pulling back off him. You jerk him fast and hard over your open mouth, and after a few seconds, hot white fluid splashes against your tongue. It also lands on your cheeks and chin, some even getting on your tunic. At least that’s white, you think to yourself.

Soobin looks down at you, fucked out expression making your panties even wetter than they already are. You stand up, licking the cum off your face and grinning.

“Come here,” he rasps, your eyebrows raising. “Please.”

You obey him for once, allowing him to untie your trousers and push them to the floor. You step out of them easily and he grabs your ass in his hands, bringing you closer. He nuzzles his face against your clothed pussy, sighing contentedly as he breathes in the scent of your arousal. You watch him carefully to see what he’ll do, not used to letting him have control like this.

“Can you sit in my lap?” the prince asks you, head tilting up to meet your eyes. He looks so innocent while asking for such a dirty thing; it makes your head spin. You nod carefully, and Soobin wastes no time removing your soaked underwear for you.

Taking your hand in his, he guides you onto his lap. The feeling of his bare cock against your folds is new; the two of you have fooled around before, but this is the first time you’ve gone this far together. He feels warm.

“I’ve waited so long for this,” he tells you, moving some hair away from your forehead. The humidity is getting to you now, the fabric of your tunic sticking to your skin.

“Really?” You cock your head to the side, adjusting yourself in the prince’s lap. His groan leaves you giggling, until he reaches beneath your tunic and swipes his long fingers through your wetness. “Oh.”

Soobin snickers at your change in demeanor. “Yeah, oh. Your pussy’s been waiting too, it seems.”

You want to put him back in his place, but it’s hard to take control when he’s stroking you so good. His fingertips are slightly rough from his years of archery, but they feel nice touching you like this. You don’t want him to stop.

“Are you going to be a good girl for me?” he whispers, sliding his other hand up your tunic until he’s got a nipple between his fingertips. You don’t know where he learned female anatomy from, because it certainly wasn’t you, and now you’re at the mercy of whatever skills he’s picked up.

“Yes,” you agree, arching into his touch. The prince grins wickedly, another expression you aren’t used to seeing on him. You like it, though.

Soobin pulls his fingers away from your pussy, ignoring your whines. He cups a hand around the back of your neck and brings you down for a kiss, tongue pressing past your lips almost immediately. You moan into his mouth as he pinches your nipple, rolling your hips against his lap.

“Sit on it for me,” he whispers as he pulls away. You choke a bit on his words, but you waste no time in positioning yourself above his cock. He rubs the head through your wet folds, then over your clit, teasing you by dipping the tip inside before pulling back.

Getting impatient, you grab his shaft yourself and sink down onto him. The moan he lets out is guttural, and you almost worry for a second that the guards posted outside of his office have heard you.

“My advisor looks so pretty sitting on my cock,” the prince coos as he looks up at you. His hands tug at the edge of your tunic, pushing it up until he can see where he’s buried inside your cunt. “You’re so full of me, you know?”

You do know. Soobin’s cock stretches you out, more than your own fingers ever have. It’s to be expected, but it still leaves you in awe. You touch your stomach gently, feeling where his cockhead is. It makes you shudder in anticipation.

“Ride it,” he commands you, grabbing your hips. You don’t know when the dynamic changed between you, but once again you find yourself obeying his orders. You lift your hips up, leaving just the head inside you before sinking back down, a loud moan escaping your lips.

“Fuck,” you whisper, unable to resist grinding your clit against his pelvis. Soobin laughs at your desperation, but doesn’t stop you. It’s so hot to see you need him in this way, so against your normal calm and collected persona. It turns him on even more.

“You’re doing great,” he tells you, watching as you lift yourself up again. “Taking me so well.” You sink down faster this time, crying out when his cockhead hits your cervix a little too roughly.

“Oh my god,” you moan, laying your sweaty forehead against his shoulder. You ride him shallowly for a few seconds, your walls fluttering around his cock. You’re so lost in pleasure that you miss the knock on his office door, your face contorting in shock when the crown prince strolls into the room.

Soobin, to his credit, quickly spins the chair so you’re facing away from Yeonjun. Your cheeks flush as you try to scramble off his lap, but the second prince grips your hips tightly, keeping his cock buried in your cunt. Yeonjun chuckles from across the room, leaning against a bookshelf as he meets your eyes over his brother’s shoulder.

“Ah, I didn’t think you were such a slut, brother,” he teases, though you understand the words are actually meant for you. You’ve never really interacted much with the crown prince, seeing as you were Soobin’s advisor, so you’re embarrassed to find yourself dripping just from his words. Soobin notices too, smirking to himself as he feels your juices oozing around his cock.

“Maybe you should wait for a response after you knock, rather than just barging in here,” Soobin scolds him. He’s moving you slowly in his lap, but there’s no way Yeonjun doesn’t know what’s going on. He’s staring right at you; he sees every roll of your eyes as his brother fucks up into you.

It’s wrong - it’s so filthy - but it still doesn’t stop you from moaning, your eyes falling shut from the pleasure of being fucked open and watched.

“Fuck, that’s hot,” Yeonjun groans, snaking a hand into his trousers. You wish you could see him stroking his cock, but you already have two of the three princes in the room offering you different kinds of pleasure. You shouldn’t get too greedy.

“You like that he’s watching us?” Soobin whispers into your ear. You can only nod, your arms loosely hanging around his neck. He’s doing all of the work now, you having slumped in his lap to watch Yeonjun. “You should give him a better show than that, baby.”

He’s not wrong, you decide, bracing yourself on his thighs. You start riding Soobin once more, but you keep your eyes locked on the crown prince, mouth watering as you notice the wet spot forming on the front of his trousers.

“Yeonjun,” you purr, too turned on to worry about the implications of dropping his title. He pushes off the bookcase and comes closer, stopping at the other side of the desk.

“Turn the chair around,” he rasps, and surprisingly, Soobin listens to him. Your tunic is still pushed up over your hips, exposing your ass to the crown prince. He sighs deeply, drinking in the view before him.

“Like what you see?” you tease, glancing over your shoulder. It’s obvious he does, judging by the hiss he lets out as he jerks his cock faster.

Soobin grabs your head and brings you in for a kiss, thrusting up into you roughly. He’s getting tired of being forgotten when he’s the one with his cock buried inside you right now. His older brother gets everything, but you’re his advisor, and right now, his cocksleeve. He won’t lose you to Yeonjun as well.

“Shit,” you hiss, clenching your pussy around the second prince’s cock. “Gonna cum if you keep that up, Soob.”

Yeonjun barks out a laugh at the pet name, but the two of you are actively ignoring him now. It’s hard to pay attention when Soobin is licking into your mouth, his fingers sliding between you to pinch your clit.

“Go ahead and cum around me,” he tells you with a smirk. “Show Yeonjun who you belong to.”

You collapse against his chest as your orgasm hits, your body trembling. It shocks you that it only took two sentences to bring you over the edge, even more so that Soobin could deliver them so well. Your pulsating walls drag the second prince over the edge as well, spilling his hot load inside of your pussy.

By the time you come down, you remember Yeonjun is in the room as well. You glance over your shoulder only to bite back a laugh; the crown prince, next in line to the throne, has come in his pants.

The older prince glowers at you. You might have found it threatening before, but now he’s just a young man that’s gotten off to you…well, getting off. Soobin hooks his chin over your shoulder and grins lopsidedly at his brother; he’s finally won against him, and it feels better than any political victory ever could.

“I’ll leave you two alone,” he grumbles, untucking his tunic to try and cover his embarrassment. When the door clicks shut behind him, Soobin plants a wet kiss on your cheek.

“My beautiful, perfect, sexy advisor,” he coos, peppering kisses all over your face. You try to squirm away, but his arms are like steel around your waist. “You’re not going anywhere yet, baby.”

[powderblueblood]

please do something with nancy wheelr i miss my baby

-🧞‍♀️

SAVE ME FROM WHAT I WANT - nancy wheeler

author's note: my beautiful jean genie anon, i love you so much for asking for this and i hope to god you like it. this honestly maybe might be a prologue to something bigger i'm toying around with (spot the references l o l) but-- let's just get into it, shall we??? content warning: nancy wheeler being semi in denial about her sexuality, nancy wheeler is a lesbian, mentions of pussy eatin but no actual pussy eatin, references to complicated stancy and jancy, mention of parent illness, a little angst and a little fluff word count: 1.7k

The first time Nancy Wheeler kissed a girl was not a light bulb moment.

There were no choirs of angels singing, no great and fantastic revelation about who she is. 

Because it’s not like she hadn’t thought about it before.

Nancy, a student of the human scene, has entertained the curiosity the same way one might like, want to see what happens when they throw a watermelon off the top of an eleven story building. The fall and the impact will surely be thrilling, but then there’s the cleanup. Did you know it’s illegal to throw watermelons off buildings in most US states? So theoretically, if she were to throw the watermelon, she could always toss and run. But then she’d have to live with the guilt of not going back and owning up to her mess. It could have really hurt someone. Maybe it did! 

But the temptation to throw is still there. 

Anyway, she doesn’t think about it that much. So it’s fine. 

She only thought about it when her feminist lit professor paused at her desk, returning the paper she’d written about Gloria Steinem infiltrating the Playboy Club. Professor Gonzalez, who Nancy can’t quite bring herself to call Flo despite her insistence, has sleek black hair that tumbles over her shoulder like dark and deadly sand through an hourglass. It fell in a sheet then too, almost hitting Nancy in the face as Flo told her, “This is great. I know Gloria, and she would totally love this.” 

Despite Nancy’s best friend derisively protesting that Professor Gonzalez does not know Gloria, are you shitting me, Nancy entertains daydreams where she and Flo and Gloria Steinem meet up in a dark bar for a gorgeous, stimulating meeting of the minds. In some versions, Flo goes home first, leaving Nancy and Gloria alone. In other versions, the versions that throw heat on Nancy’s cheeks even just thinking about them, Gloria goes home first and Nancy and Flo are staring at each other through the brine-heavy buzz of dirty martinis. 

Nancy doesn’t even like dirty martinis. 

She discovered this at some dorm get together or another, where one of her similarly-affected-by-pretentiousness coursemates attempted to mix them. Badly, she assumed, because they tasted like crap. She winced on every sip. 

“Someone once told me these were supposed to taste like pussy,” her best friend had said from the common area couch, to which Nancy had snorted, Jesus!, a little gin and vermouth and brine coming out of her nose. 

“And?” That came from a girl in a smart ponytail, who was wearing smart suit slacks and a smart sweater in ultra smart, muted colors. She had taken a seat next to Nancy on the floor by the fire, and Nancy found herself awkwardly adjusting her off-the-shoulder sweatshirt. She should have dressed up for this, right? But these common room salons were always happening, and it felt like it was so hard to gauge the dress code. 

“How does that flavor profile match up?” 

Nancy realized that the low tone this girl was speaking in wasn’t meant for the room. It wasn’t even meant for her best friend, who’d posed the question. It was just meant for her. 

Ah, Nancy mouthed. “Um. I don’t know. I’ve never… tried it.”

Oh, the girl mouthed back, her head cocked toward her shoulder. “Maybe you should think about expanding your palate.” 

Nancy’s stomach had jumped and she had drunk the rest of her shitty martini way too fast. By the time she had figured it was time to head to bed, her head felt like it was floating a couple of inches above her neck, and she was hand-in-hand with the smart girl from the fire. 

Back slumping against the door in a clumsy stumble. Nancy giggled. The girl, who said her name was Sal, which Nancy thought was very glamorous, leaned against the door next to her. 

“I wish I dressed like you,” Nancy said, reaching out to finger the arm of her sweater. Cashmere. Something expensive. People were always wearing expensive things here. They looked so grown-up, so continental, compared to Nancy’s department store skirts and pastel shades. 

“We can swap outfits,” Sal hummed, the words coming from low in her throat as she tilted her head towards Nancy’s, “if your roommate isn’t home.”

Nancy Wheeler, even four crapshoot dirty martinis in, is not obtuse. Seeing double might make it a quadruple entendre, but she still knows one when she hears it. 

“I… have a boyfriend,” she’d whispered, almost into Sal’s mouth. That was, at the time, only half true. She and Steve were still navigating long distance in a post-Jonathan-breakup world. It wasn’t perfect yet, so no promises were made. But history weighed heavy on them.

Sal reached out to pluck at Nancy’s old sweatshirt, the one she’d cut the neck out of to make it drape around her shoulders like Jennifer Beals in Flashdance. It was a comfort thing, an old blanket, a teddy bear. “A Hawkins Tiger, no doubt?”

“Used to be.” 

“And what does a Hawkins Tiger know about pussy?” This, Sal had whispered into the shell of her ear, arm tightening around her waist. Her lips met that spot of skin behind Nancy’s ears that she liked to have touched, how did Sal know that. Giggling lowly, Nancy tilted her head to meet Sal’s lips, the kiss so small and so delicate that it hardly felt like launching anything at all. No great pull, no absolute passionate urgency. 

Suddenly, as Sal flushed her chest against Nancy’s and deepened the kiss, she had a vision of splattered watermelon. 

Projectiles are so dangerous. 

“They know… more than you’d think,” Nancy said, and smiled, and slipped away from Sal and into the darkness of her bedroom. 

Better to be safe than sorry. 

The second time Nancy kissed a girl, she didn’t even look like herself. 

She had come stomping into her best friend’s off-campus apartment (this girl being one year her senior) with her makeup kit in hand, like she was cashing in a makeover coupon that was about to expire. “Please, help me out here. I need to– it needs to be different this time.”

Now, that statement could have meant anything; it being New Years Eve, which they were about to celebrate, it being the most recent iteration of her breakup with Steve, it being her entire vision of herself. 

Nancy was fashioned into a vixen of epically out-of-her skin proportions, but she loved it. And maybe it was the bottle of cheap champagne they’d indulged in while getting ready, but she couldn’t quit gazing at her sparkling sapphire eyelids, the dress with chains for straps draping over her lithe little frame, the body waves her perm had been gelled into. She felt so far away from the hardheaded provincial do-gooder she’d admonished herself for being, a tiny bumpkin of a fish in the humongous, rushing, risque pond of college life. She felt alive and mischievous, like a nymph, her blood sparkling in her veins like the bubbles in her coupe.  

She and her best friend set off out to a party, shivering against the sub-zero temperatures and whooping like hyenas all the way there. Arms linked, sharing what little body heat they had, their mood soon flatlined as they settled into the festivities– average college fare, you know, with all of their other friends already paired off for their New Years’ kisses. They were the only two single people there, it seemed– she, recently liberated and her best friend, taking her seasonal sabbatical from mistletoe-themed hookups. It reminds her too much of a boy she knew in high school, though she’d never admit that. 

But Nancy knows. And Nancy loves her, despite the collegiate wild streak that has alienated her a little bit. And Nancy wanted to show her as much. 

Before the countdown even began, Nancy entwined their glitter painted fingers and said, “Hey! Promise me something?”

“Anything, Pants.” 

“Promise me we’ll always be as fun as we are right now,” she said, beaming. “Promise that no matter what happens, we’ll never lose it.” 

Aw! her best friend had mouthed, and took Nancy’s heart-shaped face in her hands. She leaned in, lips pulling Nancy’s in. Like tulip petals, Nancy had thought, but hadn’t exactly known why. They kissed and kissed, as the countdown raged and the ball dropped into sparkling smithereens. And as she felt her best friend’s tongue try and brace against her lips, Nancy pulled away. They stood together, forehead-to-forehead, giggling again. 

When their bubbles finally flattened, they spent the rest of the night and much of the morning talking about what life would be like if they could be together– because as much as Nancy loved her, and as fun as kissing her was, it was no watermelon. “It was a gas,” her best friend said, in that Fitzgeraldian way she had about her. 

They would celebrate the anniversary of what could have been, if they only worked out every year after.

Her first year out of college, Nancy spent her nights praying for a thrill. Six months filled with pulling doubles at a college bar in Indianapolis, hospital rooms, speaking to doctors when her mother couldn’t, fighting against her brother’s sullen silences and explaining to her sister what remission meant. Misery metastasized into monotony. She started staring down watermelons at the market. 

And she knows that’s a terrible thing to say and think, but it’s true. Even with all the support she had from Steve, who never knew exactly what to do when she’d report on her father’s diminishing health with the cadence of a newscaster, or even the help she was getting from Eddie, who took her on as a roommate in his shithole apartment. He got her a job in that divey college bar so she could be closer to her family as they all fell apart, shuttling her back and forth to Hawkins in his van. He was a better sibling to Mike than she ever was, she thought. Mike certainly seemed to like him more. 

The first time Nancy Wheeler realizes she really, really, really wants to kiss a girl, she stinks of fryer grease and spilled beer. And she should have expected it.

Expected to see her, anyway. 

Steve had told her about it weeks ago, but she had smoked half a joint of Eddie’s without telling either of them and zoned out. Very unlike the Nancy Wheeler that Hawkins had once known. 

She should have expected to see her, but here she is. Like a shock to the system, a last alarm. Nervous hands curved around a glass of Pilsner. Baseball cap on backwards. Cheeks ruddy with the chill of the city. 

“Oh! Hey– hi, Robin.”

[thejakeformerlyknownasprince]

Hey sorry, what was that in the tags about humans having two brains?? I haven’t read any of the Visser books…

So in Visser, Edriss describes her first experience in the human brain as:

Then I discovered something strange and disturbing. A huge, deep chasm. It seemed to separate the human brain into two halves. And between the halves was only a nerve bundle not much thicker than my own true body... This second half of the brain was an almost mirror image, but not. It could have functioned all on its own, if necessary, and yet it was in some ways radically different in its memories, its sensory interpretation, even its will. Two almost entirely functional brains in one skull, communicating across a channel of nerves. Not a fully redundant system, almost a second, different brain! ...This brain worked by dialectic. Each half of the brain saw and heard and smelled and touched a slightly different world. Each tended toward specialization, but not a hard, fast split. The left half had more language, but not all the language. The right side had more spatial perception, but not all of the spatial perception... This brain contained its own traitor!

And that's a pretty accurate description of how human brains work, and how they differ from those of non-mammals. It's not about individuals being "right brain" or "left brain" (that's nonsensical; anyone who says differently is selling something). It's talking about the fact that the two halves of the brain are partially but not fully redundant, meaning they work as a team. That way there's backup for the super-important functions like breathing, but not for the nifty-not-necessary ones like language.

I think the stuff about the two halves talking to each other from slightly different worlds refers to split brain research. Split brain patients are those who've had that "nerve bundle not much thicker than [a yeerk]" severed in order to prevent seizures. These individuals tend to have normal quality of life (improved after the surgery)... unless you cut off their ability to use sensory information to compensate for the lack of brain-to-brain information. This interview with one such woman says:

neuroscientists now know that the healthy brain can look like two markedly different machines, cabled together and exchanging a torrent of data. But when the primary cable is severed, information — a word, an object, a picture — presented to one hemisphere goes unnoticed in the other.

If you shut a split-brain individual's right eye, then show their left eye the word "baseball", then they can grab a baseball out of a box by touch — but only if they use their left hand. When asked out loud "What did you grab?", they'll answer "I don't know" because they don't — the right hemisphere which controls the left half of the body has almost no language comprehension. If you show the right eye only the words "stand up", most patients will stand, but when asked why, will say things like "I guess I wanted a bathroom break" or "I must be getting restless" because they have no conscious awareness of being told to stand.

Anyway, this system is pretty great, since it means humans can have pretty good quality of life with huge chunks of their brains missing. And it's kinda baffling, because there have also been people who had all quality of life destroyed by minuscule localized damage. Our brains really are their own traitors. Le sigh.

[mallgawths]

Please "enjoy" this long, rambling, text post about all the toxic parts of being an early 2000s mall goth that's been sitting in my drafts for weeks.

I’m keeping this blog to be nostalgic for the years 1999-2004, but holy shit “mall goth” was such an insult back then, it meant you were a poser who just bought your outfit at Hot Topic.

Listening to Evanescence was a social death sentence and for posers, Emo meant “indie rock” about suicide and breakups, no one had heard of MCR yet and when they eventually did, it was for 14 year old posers. Marilyn Manson was corny and decidedly “not goth”, Blink 182 was for tweens who just discovered Avril Lavigne or for gross frat boys. All pop punk was for tweens and gross frat boys, if you liked them before the genre got big, too bad, but you could say they’re sell outs and you only like their older stuff. Nine Inch Nails wasn’t industrial because it was on the radio. If anyone had heard of an industrial band, they were too mainstream to be industrial. Wumpscut was for try hards trying to prove how industrial they were, some Skinny Puppy was ok, but only their oldest stuff, KMFDM was basically mainstream rock. Kittie was acceptable if you were a girl, all that 90s girl metal was fine actually, but probably only if you were a girl. Korn was for middle schoolers.

“Cringe” wasn’t really a word, but “poser” was, and if you spelled it “poseur”, you were trying too hard and obviously a poser yourself. If you said you hated preps, you were a poser. You were generally allowed to like one or two mainstream pop bands, but it couldn’t be anything current, and you had to be kind of ironic about it.

We used to call goths who we thought were beneath us “gawfs” or “goffiks” (side note: this is why it drives me crazy when people say they think My Immoral isn’t a troll, because saying “goffik” was like a huge “I’m actually a goth, making fun of worse goths on the internet” dogwhistle). These were, of course, all online because we only knew other mall goths in real life, and we all generally stuck together even if we didn’t like each other. We denied being goth if anyone called us such, because we knew we weren’t good enough at being goth to call ourselves goth. “Scene” meant any kind of alternative scene for a little bit, and when it finally mean big haired screamo, they were obviously posers, and they didn’t want to be called goth and we didn’t want other people to call them goths anyways.

The only acceptable goth music that was like real goth goth was either really unknown local stuff, stuff from the 90s that you had to have already been liking since the 90s, and like the iconic 80s goth bands. But not really The Cure, everyone liked The Cure, so you couldn’t just like them alone. But it couldn’t just be iconic 80s goth, because then everyone would be suspicious if you were a poser because everyone knew you were like just a baby when those songs came out.

We all shopped at Hot Topic because it was the only place to buy black clothes. But admitting your clothes were from Hot Topic was so embarrassing. Because everyone knew we should be buying from expensive indie designers online, or thrifting, or sewing our own clothes, or being more creative. So much goth style was vinyl fetish and BDSM stuff. If you were even vaguely goth people just assumed you were into that, or you pretended you were, even if you were like 14, which is really kind of fucked up?????

You could break all these rules if you were pretty and did good makeup. But maybe the rules were totally different for your friend group, there was no social media, this was even before MySpace, the internet was dialup and you only has access to it a little bit in the evenings or in the weekends. So there was no larger community to check up on. Just some forums full of completely anonymous people.

It’s weird seeing gen z use “mall goth” as a neutral description of an aesthetic, and actively calling themselves that. I’m intensely nostalgic for it, but still instinctively cringe when I see someone call themselves that and I think “No! Don’t say that! They’ll know you’re trying!”

Anyways, these are the toxic parts that came along with being a self loathing teen goth in like 2002.

[earlgreytea68]

Hello there! I hope you don't mind me bothering you, but I was just pondering a line from GINASFS:

"It's a strange way of saying that I know I'm supposed to love you"

At first, I took it to be a purely romantic line, that Pete feels he was always destined to be with the person in every universe, and that it was only a matter of time until they found each other. But then again, it also feels like it's sort of talking about a relationship built purely out of obligation. Everyone thinks we're supposed to be together, so I guess I have no choice but to stay with this person, even if it makes me unhappy.

Maybe a bit of both?

You're way more eloquent than I am when it comes to analyzing FOB lyrics, so if you'd be willing, I'd love to hear your thoughts!

Okay, I am always saying that Pete Wentz is a genius with packing simple words with multiple meanings, like, every time you turn around you uncover a new meaning to what he's saying, I totally get why Patrick says he's still discovering them even years later. He is seriously SO GOOD at this and he's got SUCH a light touch, like, it's hard to do and he really does make it look so easy (doing something so hard, etc.) and I think that's why he seldom gets the credit for how smart he is as a writer, because he's SO good at it that it's easy to dismiss it as an accident, a mistake, unintentional, he didn't see all those meanings, he didn't mean to do that, he just happened into it.

Except nobody happens into so much poetry so consistently.

(and it's true he cultivates the impression by always being so "aw shucks does this even make any sense I have no idea what they're about" about his own lyrics)

ANYWAY. That introduction is my way of saying that yessssss, this is one of my favorite examples of how brilliant Pete is at saying two things at once (or more than two even).

Like, it's funny, this is like a Rorshach test, I always read the line as: "I know I'm SUPPOSED to love you, so I guess I'll pretend that I do," like, to me this is a line all about, tbh, not fitting into a heteronormative role, knowing that you're SUPPOSED to love this other person but it doesn't feel right. And it was only later that I realized the reading that you had first: Ohhhhh, it could also be I'm supposed to love you, like, you're my destiny.

And I just love so much that it works perfectly on both levels at the same time, like, this song is about what you think it's about, basically, and that is just such genius of Pete Wentz packing in those layers. I think you can listen to G.I.N.A.S.F.S. and think, "Oh, this is about a guy falling in love with a girl who's his destiny, how sweet," like, certainly that would be the reading of the guy who wrote the Fall Out Boy autobiography.

Or you could listen to G.I.N.A.S.F.S. and be like, Oh, this is about a guy who's in love with his best friend and actually can't get himself to fit into the expectations of the world at large. He's SUPPOSED (expected) to love the girl. But, wait, he's SUPPOSED (destined) to love the guy. IT'S BOTH AT THE SAME TIME. IT'S JUST SO SMART THIS WAY hahahaha. I will just cherish this reading for all time because it's just so good. And the ambiguity is in the entire song. There is literally nothing in that song that would lead you to believe in any way that it's about a heterosexual relationship. To be fair, there's also nothing that flashes it's about a homosexual relationship (other than maybe the title being a hint tbh). But Pete's songs are always like that. They're only about heterosexual relationships if that's what you bring to them, because he usually writes too ambiguously for that (or Patrick adds a hetero detail in). He walks through the house in your shoes -- that's a line that actually makes more sense if you think the song is addressed to a guy, because probably he's not the same size foot as a woman, although maybe.

But anyway: yeah. That line is honestly everything.

[findafight]

Hello! I've been plagued by thoughts of Starbara. I would love to know how you think the bathroom scene between Robin and Steve would go if Starbara was a thing. Like, I really, really love Starbara, and I really, really love Stobin as besties, so I am desperate to be able to combine the two without either relationship losing too much depth and connection. Thoughts?

Many. MANY thoughts. @momotonescreaming and I have actually talked about the bathroom scene! (both of them hehe) The Starcourt bathroom scene is like. Holy Stobin Texts okay. I refuse to water it down, ever, but tweaks must be made.

so with the starbara au, sometime before s3 Barb decides to rekindle her friendship with Robin, who is a bit weary of it a little. But anyways Robin is at the very least friendly but not close with Barb, and still holding a a grudge against Steve (love her being petty). When they get jobs at scoops, Robin just tells Barb she's working at the mall, and Barb goes haha Steve is working there too! Maybe you'll see each other! (and then they did)

First day at Scoops Steve walks in and goes oh! Barb's friend Robin! hi Robin! :D and Robin is just. gritting her teeth. Of course then she spends time with him and discovers he is just a goofy lad. She tries so hard to keep him as her nemesis but she simply cannot because even though she has the "you suck" board to tally the amount of longing sighs Steve does while Barb isn't in the store, he grows on her. She can tell when barb told Steve she'd try to come by because he glaces at the clock and perks up. He gets all sappy when Barb comes in and they flirt and he gives her free icecream and Robin is stewing like HELLO. she is TRYING to be BITTER. if those two could stop being SICKENINGLY in LOVE that'd be great.

Steve has the worlds most devastating squish on Robin he wants to be her friend so so so bad, and Barb teases him about having a crush on her and he's like "Barbie 🥺 how could you say that? You know I 'm in love you🥺I just want to make her laugh and share a backyard with her so our kids can all play together and be best friends too 🥺"

anyways blah blah blah s3 happens they're in the starcourt bathrooms. Robin blurts the first semi invasive question of all time, because as soon as she finishes "have you ever been in love?" she's like yes obviously he has. he is.

and Steve answers affirmatively "Yeah. yes. Barb, of course. maaaan. She's amazing. I'm gonna marry her one day."

and Robin huffs a laugh because yeah, that's a pretty unsurprising plan from Steve. "Yeah? Tommy gonna be your bestman? or are you gonna shake it up and have Carol there?"

Steve sighs "nah. I don't...I don't think so."

"Why not?"

"Because...Tommy and Carol are my friends and I love 'em, but...I think I've found someone better for that part? Like someone we could split custody of a cat with, or my kids could call auntie, y'know?" Robin thinks she might throw up again, actually. "And I wish I would've been hanging out with her the whole time. She's hilarious, I've laughed more this summer with her than with nearly anyone else besides Barb in a long time." There's no way he'd be saying this to her if he knew.

"And she's smart. Way smarter than me. Able to crack a Russian code ina couple days, kind of smart, Y'know? She's unlike anyone I've ever met, and I really hope she wants to be my best friend too?"

It's so sweet, and so very Steve who's been sappy with Barb and goofy with all those kids, and now he's point blank asking her if she wants to be his best friend. She doesn't know what to do. She feels gross and sick and dizzy and hurting, but she could lie. Whatever was making her and Steve unable to keep their mouths shut has...well it hasn't worn off, but she'd definitely be able to resist it.

She doesn't want to. She wants to be brave, and honest, and vulnerable.

"Robin? You, uh, you OD over there?" Steve sounds nervous.

"No. Uh, I'm still alive..."She doesn't want to fuck this up. Doesn't want to lose Steve or Barb.

Steve slides under the stall wall. Says he can't get any worse that the blood and puke on him.

"So what do you think? About this girl?"

She gives him a wobbly smile. "she sounds awesome"

He smiles through his split lip. "She is awesome. And the guy?"

"I think he's coming down from being drugged and isn't thinking clearly. Cat custody? Really?"

He looks at her seriously. "I think he's thinking pretty clearly. Cat custody aside."

"He doesn't know this girl. And if he did, if he really, really knew her, he wouldn't want her anywhere near his wedding, let alone his hypothetical kids. I don't think he'd want to even be her friend."

He shakes his head. "That's not true. No way is that true."

She thinks fuck it. They've been tortured (she's not thinking about that). There's Russians under her feet probably still trying to kill her. She's going to be brave.

She tells him that she really likes him. About Clicks class. About Tammy. About how she was still trying to hold onto some resentment even when she was reconnecting with Barb, but he made it very difficult.

And then. Steve just. makes fun of Tammy Thompson. Sings like a muppet. And he makes her laugh.

When Dustin, Erica and Barb all bluster into the bathroom, they laugh more, at their faces, at being caught, at the ridiculousness of the entire situation.

Steve stands up and stumbles into Barb, holding his hands out to help robin up. Once she stands with him, Steve tries to rest his face on Barb's shoulder but winces. He giggles again. Turns to Barb.

"Ohh Barbie Robin's my best friend now and is gonna be my best maaAan and also our kids' godmother. She said so herself"

"I did not."

"Didn't say no, though, did you?"

To which Dustin scoffs and shoves them all out of the bathroom.

that's how I think the Stobin bathroom scene happens in the starbara au hehe