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#anyways!!! sorry in advance!!!!
calenhads · 2 years
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sorry for the person i will become in the near future i started thinking about les mis again
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inkskinned · 1 year
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you're grabbing lunch with a nice man and he gives you that strange grimace-smile that's popular right now; an almost sardonic "twist" of his mouth while he looks literally down on you. it looks like he practiced the move as he leans back, arms folded. he just finished reciting the details of NFTs to you and explaining Oppenheimer even though he only watched a youtube about it and hasn't actually seen it. you are at the bottom of your wine glass.
you ask the man across from you if he has siblings, desperately looking for a topic. literally anything else.
he says i don't like small talk. and then he smiles again, watching you.
a few years ago, you probably would have said you're above celebrity gossip, but honestly, you've been kind of enjoying the dumb shit of it these days. with the rest of the earth burning, there's something familiar and banal about dragging ariana grande through the mud. you think about jeanette mccurdy, who has often times gently warned the world she's not as nice as she appears. you liked i'm glad my mom died but it made you cry a lot.
he doesn't like small talk, figure out something to say.
you want to talk about responsibility, and how ariana grande is only like 6 days older than you are - which means she just turned 30 and still dresses and acts like a 13 year old, but like sexy. there's something in there about the whole thing - about insecurity, and never growing up, and being sexualized from a young age.
people have been saying that gay people are groomers. like, that's something that's come back into the public. you have even said yourself that it's just ... easier to date men sometimes. you would identify as whatever the opposite of "heteroflexible" is, but here you are again, across from a man. you like every woman, and 3 people on tv. and not this guy. but you're trying. your mother is worried about you. she thinks it's not okay you're single. and honestly this guy was better before you met, back when you were just texting.
wait, shit. are you doing the same thing as ariana grande? are you looking for male validation in order to appease some internalized promise of heteronormativity? do you conform to the idea that your happiness must result in heterosexuality? do you believe that you can resolve your internal loneliness by being accepted into the patriarchy? is there a reason dating men is easier? why are you so scared of fucking it up with women? why don't you reach out to more of them? you have a good sense of humor and a big ol' brain, you could have done a better job at online dating.
also. jesus christ. why can't you just get a drink with somebody without your internal feminism meter pinging. although - in your favor (and judgement aside) in the case of your ariana grande deposition: you have been in enough therapy you probably wouldn't date anyone who had just broken up with their wife of many years (and who has a young child). you'd be like - maybe take some personal time before you begin this journey. like, grande has been on broadway, you'd think she would have heard of the plot of hamlet.
he leans forward and taps two fingers to the table. "i'm not, like an andrew tate guy," he's saying, "but i do think partnership is about two people knowing their place. i like order."
you knew it was going to be hard. being non-straight in any particular way is like, always hard. these days you kind of like answering the question what's your sexuality? with a shrug and a smile - it's fine - is your most common response. like they asked you how your life is going and not to reveal your identity. you like not being straight. you like kissing girls. some days you know you're into men, and sometimes you're sitting across from a man, and you're thinking about the power of compulsory heterosexuality. are you into men, or are you just into the safety that comes from being seen with them? after all, everyone knows you're failing in life unless you have a husband. it almost feels like a gradebook - people see "straight married" as being "all A's", and anything else even vaguely noncompliant as being ... like you dropped out of the school system. you cannot just ignore years of that kind of conditioning, of course you like attention from men.
"so let's talk boundaries." he orders more wine for you, gesturing with one hand like he's rousing an orchestra. sir, this is a fucking chain restaurant. "I am not gonna date someone who still has male friends. also, i don't care about your little friends, i care about me. whatever stupid girls night things - those are lower priority. if i want you there, you're there."
he wasn't like this over text, right? you wouldn't have been even in the building if he was like this. you squint at him. in another version of yourself, you'd be running. you'd just get up and go. that's what happens on the internet - people get annoyed, and they just leave. you are locked in place, almost frozen. you need to go to the bathroom and text someone to call you so you have an excuse, like it's rude to just-leave. like he already kind of owns you. rudeness implies a power paradigm, though. see, even your social anxiety allows the patriarchy to get to you.
you take a sip of the new glass of wine. maybe this will be a funny story. maybe you can write about it on your blog. maybe you can meet ariana grande and ask her if she just maybe needs to take some time to sit and think about her happiness and how she measures her own success.
is this settling down? is this all that's left in your dating pool? just accepting that someone will eventually love you, and you have to stop being picky about who "makes" you a wife?
you look down to your hand, clutching the knife.
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azatas · 8 months
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"we need more complex female characters" you couldn't even handle her
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Even today, as I heal my sorrow, I keep waiting and waiting for you I kept on yearning, to the end of time and space, As if I was dreaming of Shangri-La
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...So now, let's dance, that very fateful waltz "Would you like to have this dance?"
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Song: Waltz of the Moon Rainbow (Kagamine Rin - Sweet) Couple: Pure Vanilla Cookie x White Lily Cookie (cookierun kingdom)
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litafan4ever · 10 months
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Raphael (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles): In Animation (1987 - Present)
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pillarofna · 4 months
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please help me by reblogging ‼️
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hello im dylan. i make what money i can through doordashing but that barely covers even half of my bills and nowhere else will hire me rn (slow season in a tourist town). my car payment and car insurance are both scheduled to come out of my bank acct today and i barely have enough to cover the $135 in my checking account leaving me to have to use my credit card for my $150 car insurance. i also really need to buy groceries and get gas which i desperately need to keep working.
i currently am over $1000 in debt on my credit card and i really can’t afford to keep piling up the bills on it. the monthly fee ($99) for my HRT service just came out as well so i really need at least $400.
$155 (insurance) + $99 (hrt) + $60 (gas) + $100 (groceries) to at least get my credit card back down to only owing $1000. ideally i want to pay that all off but i know there’s no way i’m crowdfunding 1400. thank you guys this isnt terribly urgent but the sooner i can pay it off the better. ❤️
$60 / $400
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jinkamuraisqueen · 3 months
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@karmablacks requested this but i figured some of you guys might want to see it too, that's why i'm posting this here! so here's alan, leo, and ren's casual / pajama fullbody!! ft. kaito.. in his boxer.. (under the cut)
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it's actually so fun to play around with their expressions since the range of motions on their face are so many! i personally love to make them blush (by them i mean my husband, jin HAHAHA)
but moving their body parts?? that's pretty hard for me, at least manually (it looks awkward). praying that when i have the time, i can play around some more because currently i'm being beaten by life
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sneez · 3 months
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i love seeing everyone's interpretations of gwynplaine and dea so i thought it would be fun to redraw some friends' designs in my own style to compare all the differences! in order the artists are Meee, @elmorinn, @chiropteracupola, @castledock, @gwynsplainer, and @pizza-hats-of-the-world-1882 :D
[ID: Six pairs of portraits in an uncoloured digital ink style, each depicting Gwynplaine and Dea according to a different artist's design. In each, Gwynplaine is set against a black background and Dea against white. Detailed descriptions in alt text. End ID.]
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spiderin-space · 4 months
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“…And I’m your Lionheart.”
@aychama ‘twas I who sent the anon about King and Lionheart
Because I’m shy
Anyways tried my hand at it anyways!! Ik it isn’t much but I still wanted to draw up something :>
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jazz-kitty · 4 months
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im never gonna think of a good ship name for them
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ravenlexis · 3 months
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i don't mind genderbend fic or art. usually if i don't feel it, i just scroll past and ignore (my policy on headcanons/fanon content that i don't personally agree with).
what i do mind is when an author/artist takes a same-sex couple (usually mlm with one of them somewhat more androgynous or even with a bit of feminine silhouette), make one of them into the opposite sex, and only write/draw them like that.
like, genderbend one of them if you want but if that's the only way you portray them then that's sus to me.
it's like internalised homophobia, imo.
make them both genderbend! make mlm into wlw, make wlw into mlm, make it straight once in a while, spice it up! just don't take a queer ship and make it straight just to justify shipping them.
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st4rstudent · 2 months
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My yap session dynamics that are hard to read without zooming in. sorry
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anoiximera · 1 year
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Part 7: Rethink
Arc 1: Reacquainted (Finished)
This part was 11 pages and I had to combine the last two pages to make it all fit but the quality suffered I sob. Anyways, first arc done! I've planned out the story/dialogue for the next arc but it might take a bit for me to get it out. Either way, thanks for sticking around so far. Appreciate it.
First Previous
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totalshockwaves · 2 years
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ryan ross is probably sitting at home, surrounded by all his taxidermied animals and actual pets, completely oblivious to us popping bottles in his (and jon and dallon's) honor lol
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starfish-spencer · 6 months
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I decided to try video editing and this was the only thing that came out of it. sorry
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emergingghost · 17 days
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julien baker blinkies!
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