#anyways I'm making a program to factor stuff

[mallory-likes-whales]

Learning to code:

1: Oh this is fun

2: Logic mistake that breaks everything

4: aaaaaah

5: fixed it! (took three hours and an additional fifty lines)

Repeat

[meelonkurb]

This probably has already been done but I can’t stop thinking about a Detroit Become Human AU with rosquez (android Marc with everyone at the ranch) .

This is a 1k word long yap of ideas so it's all under the cut. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED BECAUSE I'M NOT A FIC WRITER.

Rough idea of android Marc being at the ranch as a household android. Taking care of chores there because..well kind of a big place and the academy kids/guests being around a lot. So Valentino needs some help and probably doesn't care to pay actual workers anymore and gets an android instead (don't mind the academy riders timeline I've given up on that).

I imagine that at the ranch, Marc starts deviating because omg look at the bikes...I also want to ride...I also want to help teach the kids...(instead of relationships kind of being the main reason for his deviancy, it's mainly the human desire for passion and curiosity, like he was born to ride and not to be ordered around to do chores..)

And Valentino actually encourages this (he is down bad) while Uccio is losing his mind because?? hello it's a household android what do you think you're doing??

I also feel like the academy riders are probably at first creeped out by an android but then warm up and go omg new father/mother figure. And Marc is just "damn....I've become attached to these stupid kids now, this isn't part of my programming.."

Ok so the divorce arc is still a bit ehh for me and other people will probably have much better ideas for it. BUT I do have a rough idea of something involving the 2015 incident.

Marc probably convinced Valentino to bring him to some races to "run errands for him and his riders around the paddock" when it's more like Marc's own little fantasy to see the bikes in action irl (context: no android riders but there are android staff around the paddock so it's less sus to have Marc there anyway).

Naturally, Marc starts talking to some other riders. Mainly Dani, Dovi, BUT ESPECIALLY JORGE. Why? Well they're literally at the same garage so forced proximity. But also I'd say that Marc more frequently talks to these riders because they actually treat him civilly as an android. Compare that to a lot of other people around the paddock, who see androids much more as just objects than actual people. Marc feels like he can actually be himself around them, just like at the ranch with Valentino and the academy.

HOWEVERRR, Valentino doesn't look at it that way.

Some factors of Marc becoming more deviant and going against Valentino's orders at the ranch (like Marc riding at the ranch with insane precision/aggression because he's an android and crashing a lot because of it) combined with having little shush shush conversations with other people around the paddock. This makes Valentino go "oh no he isn't telling me everything and ignoring some of my commands...what is he hiding..."

And then seeing him being a buddy buddy with Lorenzo and Marc kind of deflecting what they are talking about makes Valentino even more suspicious.

THEN SEPANG HAPPENS. Jorge does really well, while Valentino maybe had some mechanical issues resulting in a bad result (this is replacing the penalty stuff because well..Marc isn't racing). Before the race, Marc said he had to run some errands around the paddock and just disappeared. After the race Valentino starts getting more mad/suspicious of Marc just doing his dissappearing act and disobeying his commands "he's still my android!!!). Uccio of course then starts whispering to Valentino "psstttt I heard from a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend of that Marc and Lorenzo were at the garage in the morning..." OH NO. Lorenzo must have convinced Marc to tamper with Valentino's bike and Marc gave him all of Valentino's data/tips/whatever.

Honestly, Marc was probably just making sure all the academy riders around the paddock were fine and then went to the garage to polish/organise stuff around for Valentino and Lorenzo just happened to be there.

"hey so as a household chore do you suck his di-"

"fuck you go suck your own dick"

"okayyyyy"

But all of these factors (the dangerous riding at the ranch, secret conversations with others, disobeying Valentino's direct commands, and Uccio convincing that Marc's affection towards him and the academy kids are just part of his programming) makes Valentino want to send Marc to cyberlife to get him fixed/reset. After all, Marc is a household android NOT a rider/father figure. He has to become obedient again (similar to when Valentino was like "wow he idolised me but not anymore he is going against me instead how dare he").

When Marc learns of this he's like "oh shit. they'll know that I'm a deviant. They will either replace me and dump me at the landfill OR do a factory reset to my systems" WHICH BOTH SUCK (he most likely kept his deviancy secret because Uccio already hates androids anyway and he probably would have been sent to cyberlife even earlier). He just decides to run into hiding (Kara kinda vibe here).

He's probably alone for a while before meeting some other androids in hiding. I'm thinking of like marc's brother in this instance because they are super dependent on each other. Also as an extra maybe David? because Marc will be like "omg a kid like my academy kids".

EXTRA FOR MARC'S INJURIES

This is just an extra idea for Marc's list of injuries integrated to this au. He most likely had his eye injury before running away. Maybe at the ranch he crashed hard and Valentino had to convince cyberlife technicians "uhh um he just randomly got this eye injury whoops! he definitely isn't doing any riding no siree".

For his extensive arm injuries, I imagine that sometimes after the divorce he's like "fuuckkkhjkkkn I need to ride so bad i'm going crazy"

Proceeds to join some random local motocross competitions, where no one is gonna even try to identify him and crashes hard again like an idiot and fucks his arm up.

And well... where the hell is he gonna get biocomponents from in hiding. He just kinda tries fixing it with random tools but it's never really the same.

After stasis, he sometimes gets biocomponent damage warnings when it's a bad arm day. Drinking thirium kind of helps, so Alex and David (as concerned androids/family) do some dangerous crimes to get some for Marc.

ANYWAYYY that's all I have right now. I needed to get this out of my head before I go insane.

[beardedmrbean]

for mentallyrecovering, i dunno if she's made any definite plans regarding where she wants to go to school, but if she's still younger than 26, job corps is still an option. MOS is their shortest program (45 days) but you can take as long as you like with it (up to two years). it's completely free (and you get a stipend of like, $40/wk), you can be a commuter student or you can live on campus (room and board is also free). they have a college program as well (i went to gary in san marcos, you could take classes at texas state, didn't necessarily have to be anything to do with your trade) and a job placement program after you finish. they REALLY bust their buns to make sure you get a job, too--i had a roommate who stayed in for like, a year and a half trying to get a job, and they paid for her to fly all over the place. salt lake, baltimore, dc, philly, tacoma, etc...she did eventually time out (although they granted her an extra year, TCU students get an additional year if they need one (TCU is the transportation communications union, if you finish your trade at job corp, you can go on to TCU if you want and do amtrak, flight attendant, stuff like that)), but that was a "her" problem. (she had no social skills. not like an autistic kind of way, but like a "brute from the streets of philly" kind of way. unbelievably rude, always getting into physical altercations, etc., and she had the sort of demeanor that, no matter how pleasant she came across when she first met you, it was pretty obvious that it was just a facade and that she'd sock you in the mouth if you said something she didn't like). also, if i recall correctly, mentallyrecovering is in a wheelchair...? one of the big stories that was going around when i was a student at job corps was that a girl had just enrolled as a welding student, i want to say somewhere in tennessee or kentucky, who was in a wheelchair and needed a ramp built into the welding facility (up until that point, they had no wheelchair-using welders and thus the ramp was unnecessary), so the carpentry students were tasked with building her everything she needed--she got all the ramps she needed, and her arms got fatigued really easy, too, so they built her a special table that she could rest her arms on while she welded. so the accessibility factor is pretty good, too. anyway it's a good program, would negate the need to work and go to school at the same time (you can get it done quickly enough that you wouldn't be "not working" for years at a go), you can count it as both "working" and "schooling" on a resume, you also get real on the job training (i don't totally know about MOS, but i did heavy trucking while i was there and we often went out to job sites and did stuff like help tie down loads, did paperwork, ran the yardhorse), and it's pretty in-depth training, too. as stated, i got my CDL, which is ordinarily a 1 month, $8000 course (at least, that was 15 years ago. i have no idea what it costs now. probably way more). not only did i not spend a dime at job corps, but i also got paid to do it, and i was there for a year (CDL isn't like MOS--MOS progresses as quickly as you personally need or want it to, but CDL is at the trainer's discretion, so if he thinks you need more time, you're in until he says you're ready to take the test), so when i graduated, i was already, at 19 years old, one of the highest trained 18 wheeler drivers anywhere in the country.

She's 28 so that first bit might not work, I will make sure this gets to her and she can see what's helpful for her situation.

Thank you very much for the info, I'm truly grateful you took the time to send this in.

[dark-falz]

PSO Timeline of the Profound Sadness (Detailed lore timeline regarding Episodes 1&2,)

There's also stuff about Phantasy Star 0 in here too because they take place in the same universe! But I'm trash and didn't beat it and it was years ago so idr shit I'll go back to it one day ok promise anyway

LONG LORE POST completely spoiler

Inhabited planet Coral is drained of natural resources. The government, organizations called "The Alliance of Nations" (includes 10) , and "Black Paper" initiate the "Pioneer Project" to find a new planet to colonize. They are gifted from a passing asteroid with Photon energy. They use it to backtrack where it came from to find a place to inhabit. After approx. 7 years, Ragol is found. Coral mentions; Shino: RAcaseal, purchased & passed down to Zoke Dr. Calus: was working on an AI, also named Calus, who developed his personality. Calus dies before the AI is completed. Dr. Jean Montague: 11 yrs. old approx, researches D-Cells brought back from probes with Dr. Osto, create MAGs* which are the beginning of the MOTHER/Delta program 7 yearsish later (travel is heavily disputed among sources apparently but w/e) The people on Pioneer 1 included; Heathcliff Flowen: Deputy Army Commander Rico Tyrell: Pupil of Flowen, Scientist, Hunter Dr. Osto Hyle: Lead researcher Mr. & Mrs. Graves: Photon Engineer, Geneticist WORKS (Government military) AI: Olga, Calus, & Vol Opt (meant to assist with Pioneer 1 research and step 2 of MOTHER) - AI Purposes: - Vol Opt: Security - Calus: Information - Olga: Contact, nearly identical specs to Calus (unsure if these two count as AI as they aren't mentioned much) - MOTHER: evolution & control - Delta: Caretaker of MOTHER Established buildings Gal Da Val Island - Research Facility (Houses Delta/MOTHER Vortex and will house Olga) Mines - Robot building plant (+All mine enemies) - Houses Calus (EPI)& Vol Opt - Dr. Osto's first lab (mines 2) Forest - Central Dome: supplies, communication center

Exploration begins followed quickly by construction. Animals are noted as friendly and docile.

Dr. Osto & Graves create a mutant life form for unmentioned reasons, it starts off small, but has the ability to self-replicate.

Ruins are discovered by Flowen. Military WORKS sends in investigation team. Everyone becomes possessed, then dies turning into the bad guys as portrayed in the quest: From the Depths. Flowen leads a second team in. Falz is unsealed and kills everyone but Flowen, leaving him wounded. When he escapes, Falz is sealed again.

Flowen's wound is infected with both D-Cells and Parasitic Gene Flow, causing them to be alive in their own. Osto calls this a "D-Type Factor". Flowen knows his time is short, and pledges his body to Dr. Osto for research under 2 conditions. - A letter is set to his family informing them of his death. - That pioneer 2 is postponed/stopped from reaching Ragol (Spoilers: Neither request are honored)

Flowen is unaware of the Central Control Area's existance until he is brought there.

Olga is moved to the SeaBed, where Osto had been working on developing a super soldier. Construction of the Cental Dome is completed. Flowen's body is merged with Olga in hopes of controlling it. In failure Olga Flow is dumped into the Testing Subject Disposal Area.

Scientists tried moving De Rol due to his size. De Rol kills the scientists and escapes through the ducts. Its tentacles that stab you during battle is what caused the mutation of the cave's dwellings'. (Barbra Ray is a speculated open or salt-water variant)

War continues on Coral and the 10 Nation Alliance is weakening. Instead of telling the Government to stop Pioneer 2, Osto calls Ragol a "Paradise World" and gets the approval to make bioweapons.* Pioneer 2 starts route.

Animals becoming violent and infected causes Rico to begin investigating. Rico activates the pillars upon investigating them, being under the impression they were built to commemorate the landing of Pioneer 1 from the government, however concluding this was a lie. Rico investigates until her demise and leaves confirming messages that: the ruins is a spaceship from the Algo star system of the Original Phantasy Star series to seal Dark Falz, the reborn Profound Darkness every 1000 years to reborn itself from hate as the seal weakens.

On Pioneer 2, Dr. Montague is working on developing Elenor/Mother 00 and Ult/Mother 01 and Elly Person begins contact with Calus.

Pioneer 2 reaches Ragol (approx 7 years)

Explosion caused by Dark Falz in Central Dome occurs when connection is attempted, everyone from Pioneer 1 is killed with the exceptions of Mutated Rico & Mutated Flowen.

Vol Opt's security system is breached due to explosion and corrupted due to unusual Photons & D Cells causing everything in the Mines to attack.

Calus reaches out to Elly for "help" but has been corrupted and craves a human body. Elly backs up & stores his data before he shuts himself down.

Military attempts to take over Ult following Dr. Osto's plans. Eleanor & Ult fuse to become MOTHER, briefly, as due to abnormal Photon energies, its too much for Eleanor.

Calus data is used by Pioneer 2 to begin development of the "CALs system." This is part of a navigation system any Hunter can access. (Like Rico's messages, the floating things that drop you info in episode 2, is part of "Calus".)

Natasha Milarose receives a message from someone on Ragol leaving the impression that someone from Pioneer 1 is still alive on Gal Da Val Island.

Going through VR testing with Elly before permission to reach the island, Calus has form of a FOmar. (techincally there are 2 one with red eyes and one with blue eyes, one loves Elly and wants to be with her aw the other is always basically on the clock doing what its suppose to. ((Assuming this is due to abnormal photons and having 2 of the same system on top of each other which is CAL system active in VR field as well as on Elly, the operator, but no info.)))

Flowen leaves messages using Olga AI through the terminals you use to unlock the Central Control Area. (all terminals in the Seabed belong to Olga)

Calus enters the MOTHER vortex in expectation of being evolved with a true physical form to be with Elly.

Delta admits Dr. Osto abandoned her and the MOTHER system. (though the "abandonment" could have been due to a multitude of reasons with how full his hands were getting.)

I think this mostly wraps up the timeline covering entirely episodes 1&2

Extra stuff:

Flowen's full dialogue

MAG* - "A mag is a core of D-Cells surrounded by metal plating. The D-Cells are kept in control by an "Emotional AI". This means any mag is actually a cyborg of some sort, because they are a fusion of living and mechanical tissue. This is also why spraying them with various medical items causes them to change their shape so drastically.

"This is also why they can do the Photon Blast. The mag is able to absorb the energy from your photonic attacks on enemies, and also to absorb the pain from hits and turn it into photon. They had mags doing PBs on Coral, where the blasts did not take on a particular shape. The things you see in your PBs on Ragol look the way they do because the abnormal photon count, and D-cell count on Ragol is really high. The PB animals look like dark enemies, but with light color bodies. This is the influence of Ragol." - Translated from The Book of Hunters (Eleanor & Ult also carry D-cells)

Bioweapons - The bioweapons scientists of Pioneer 1 were making included using D-Cells, Parasitic Gene Flow, and living beings. This extended from animals, to plants, to even the scientists themselves in efforts of creating a "super solder". The reason behind this is because Falz is seen as an eternal entity, and that's what the scientists want to harness for themselves. Montague does a similar process, but instead using monster parts and photon energy from the mutated creatures, as oppose to mutated genes, to create weapons.

Links to information that helped me accumulate all this: phantasystardynasty PScave (I have dialogue with Flowen's text linked, if you want dialogue from another quest, just change the text between "script/" and ".html" to the quest of the dialogue you want to look out without spaces) Fandom Wiki (multiple pages from this one) This Tumblr post

[winke77e]

HI!

I'm back! Sorta! Mostly! lol

:: Summary :: -got housing assistance and got an apartment - got my kitties back! -my current job sucks and hurts my body, but I got a new one starting soon-ish :D -I don't have things set up to do art so idk when I'll be drawing again -Trying to work on my AO3 stories for now :: ::

Got housing assistance which helped me move out. Of course I got rid of EVERYTHING when I lost my last housing, so I have next to nothing in here. Moved out in June, apartment still mostly empty. Though, I saw some roaches so I really don't think I want to settle too much into this place. I want to move out at the end of this lease.

Since I'm a veteran, I have access to a lot of resources to help me. Special housing assistance for vets where I get my own case manager to help me put things together and manage my voucher. Another assistance program that gave me a budget for a thrift store shop that had a lot of furniture in it. So I got a desk, dining table, and china cabinet from that :D They also gave me a free bed, so I have a place to sleep. They ordered it from a nearby furniture store and bruh, it's so nice and comfy <3

I GOT MY KITTIES BACK! My meows! My babies! Had a hell of a time with the foster program they were in. One foster left and they told me I'd have to pick up my cats when I was still in the shelter and then my case manager and I had to work to get the program to just move my cats to another foster?? Like, bro! That's your job. Whatthefuck.

Food is still an issue though. Trying to set a budget up for my finances to eleviate my anxiety with that. Finished my Data Analytics Certification so I'm technically qualified for an entry-level position in that. Guys, I had SO much fun with that certification. I loved working with that data and sorting, cleaning, and reading it. yessssss.

Anyway

My current job is not great. The people are fantastic! I love my coworkers. It's just the job is a Starbucks Barista inside of a Kroger (nicknamed KroBucks). So it doesn't pay enough (which is a factor in getting housing assistance) and they don't have the goddamn anti-fatigue mats so my back, hips, legs, knees are starting to really hurt. Thankfully, my housing case worker told me of a job on the Veteran Affairs Campus which I applied for and got! Woo! It doesn't start for a while, since it's a govt job and we're waiting until the next budget cycle before I can start. Which people keep saying is around October.

Lastly, art stuffs. IDK where my drawing tablet is at the moment. It might be in a tote that I don't have here. It seems I've accidentally scattered out my totes so I'm trying to figure out where all my stuff is.

If anyone follows me on AO3, you may have noticed that *I've* noticed that I don't update in a regular manner. Which is something that *I* want to be able to do. So I'm going to work on writing out my stories in full before I start uploading them. Which IDK how long any of that will be. I'm most likely making the process harder on myself.

::

So there's the long update! I'll be stopping by on occasion just to see how everyone is doing and reblog stuff. In becoming homeless, I worked to reduce distractions and sources of stress, which included social media. So I don't really visit any websites often. Except youtube cuz I don't have cable or tv or dvds or anything at all.

Anyway! Love you guys!

[supercantaloupe]

You said you're in grad school for musicology once, right? I'm curious as to what that's like and how you got there, since I wanted to major in something like musicology or music history for my undergrad but there's almost no programs for either on an undergrad level in my area (Except for one school) and I'm kinda loathing the idea of doing another 4 years of performance but I'm willing to do it as a means to an end (please disregard this ask if I was wrong abt your major btw )

under the cut for long answer ⬇

i think i understand where you're coming from. there were a lot of factors that went into where i chose to attend for undergrad but a chief factor among them was i wanted a liberal arts college with a music school, NOT a conservatory, because i knew if i put myself in the environment of a conservatory and spent 100% of my time working for performance i would burnout and quit. i wanted a school where i could balance music and other studies, which was important to me because when i started college i actually didn't know if i wanted to major in music. i started out as a music major but that was almost a placeholder at the beginning; i didn't know what ELSE i would study, but i figured it would start out in this music thing and i could switch majors later if i wanted. it turns out i didn't want to switch, and i ended up graduating four years later with a music degree, and 99% of the time i don't regret it. (the 1% is my standard built-in neurosis that makes me doubt everything i do all the time. it's whatever.)

but i will also add that i have a bachelor of arts, not a bachelor of music. so my BA program, while definitely music-forward (especially in my junior and senior years), was not quite as intense music wise as as a BM; i wasn't required to take private instrument lessons after three years, i wasn't required to do a junior or senior recital, i wasn't required to play in a major ensemble for all four years. (some of these things i did anyway for various other reasons, but they weren't required to graduate.) and i had more liberal arts (non-music) gen ed requirements to fulfill.

one other thing i'll mention is that even within the BA music program there were different concentrations/tracks. i was actually no emphasis/general, while i think every other BA music student in my year was performance emphasis. so me doing the general/no emphasis concentration within BA music changed some of my requirements as well (the performance emphasis track i think required that senior recital as well as some extra ear training classes i skipped). in hindsight if i could go back and change anything about my undergrad degree, i would go back and do BA music with a music history and literature emphasis, and/or pick up a music theory minor, but neither of these options were made known to me until it was too late to fulfill the requirements before graduation. so it goes. (i'm not even totally sure if these programs still exist given the current state of my university's music school but i digress.)

anyway, i went into undergrad not knowing what i wanted to do, even if i wanted to stick with music as a degree in the first place, and i came out the other end enrolled in grad school for musicology. i'll say that it took me until like. junior year to have a clue what musicology as a graduate program is, and it wasn't until my senior year that i actually realized it's what i wanted to pursue (and that there are ways to apply a background in musicology without necessarily becoming a full time researcher or professor, which is not my goal). i'm actually not just studying musicology right now, i'm in a dual degree program for musicology and library science, on paper i'm studying music librarianship but in effect i'm doing a lot more than just that. the musicology stuff is what i'm especially passionate about (especially history and public musicology) but the library science stuff brings with it a lot of practical skills that i think will be useful once i'm done with this whole school thing. plus my dual degree program doesn't require a thesis, so, win.

since i'm only halfway through my first semester of what will most likely be a three year program, it's hard to say so far anything actionable about musicology as a grad program. for one thing my school is kind of....struggling, in a lot of ways, and musicology as a graduate program area is actually shut down now; music history and theory courses will still exist, of course, because students in other programs still need to take them too, but there will be no more musicology masters or phd students after me, which is more than a bit of a bummer, tbh. and we were a small program in a small school to begin with. at any rate, i've been enjoying my musicology classes so far, with the exception of my analytical techniques class which is the most mind numbingly boring weekly three hour lecture i've ever had to suffer through (why does it take ninety whole minutes to explain what an imitation mass is?? come on). but course offerings and program requirements vary from school to school.

now i don't have a clue what your options or limitations are when it comes to picking a college. i had my own list and i ended up pretty happy with my choice in the end, but no doubt we have different lists. knowing that, i guess if i had to give you some actionable advice, it'd be this:

it's okay to go in undecided and pick a major later, or to start with one major and change it. undergrad is the time for you to figure out what you want to do with your life and career, and you find that out by trying stuff out.

so i suppose my next point of advice is "try stuff out." even if it seems wacky. i did one semester of composition lessons. taught me that i am Not a composer, lol. but if something seems interesting and the opportunity is there, i recommend taking it. by senior year i'd figured out that i loved music history but i'd already completed all the undergrad course offerings in the subject, so they let me into one of the grad classes. in the end that actually helped me get accepted into my master's program now.

don't limit your search for schools that have a major specifically in "music history" or "musicology," especially in undergrad. maybe a couple of schools will have one, but that's pretty specific for a bachelor's degree. but while every school is different in how they structure their degree programs, i'm willing to bet a lot of them offer a similar emphasis/concentration system like mine did, and/or minors. poke around on the websites of schools that interest you, or contact someone in the department who works there via email (there's almost always a contact listed for the department heads and/or dean of enrollment), try to see if any of them have concentrations in what you're interested in if not a highly specific major.

but also, if this is what you really want to study and there are truly no schools that offer programs that you like nearby, you may have to consider the possibility of expanding your search radius. i got lucky with the fact that the school i liked best was close to home, which was important to me. but there are schools with programs that are just as good if not better halfway across the country (and i did consider them when it came time for grad school). basically, start with a large list of potential options first, you can narrow them down later as you go along with the process of college searching. it's a big decision, so you should take your time with it.

if you're not totally set on doing four years of performance, i don't recommend trying to do that as a means to an end. that path leads quickly to burnout if you aren't careful. even if "BM [instrument] performance" sounds more prestigious on paper than "BA music", in the end it doesn't actually make much of a difference. if you decide halfway through undergrad you want to switch to performance, you can, talk to your advisor about it. if you decide after graduating you want to focus on performance, you can do a DMA program somewhere for grad school. hell, there's no shame even in starting out as BM performance and then switching to BA music or something completely different later. keep your options open, but i don't recommend trying to pigeonhole yourself just yet, especially with something that's just a "means to an end." for me, the bottom line with playing music is that i enjoy doing it, and while getting play alongside or as a portion of my education was important to me, if it was the only thing i would've quit years ago, which is not a thought i like to think about.

[askshivanulegacy]

That thing about carbon emissions for T Swift is also inaccurate—someone broke the math down here:

https://zulie.medium.com/lets-fact-check-that-taylor-swift-private-jet-usage-story-32d226bd3682

Plus she paid for twice as many carbon offsets as necessary to negate the Eras Tour:

https://www.insider.com/taylor-swift-spent-160-hours-using-private-jet-eras-tour-2023-8?amp

“Before the tour kicked off in March of 2023, Taylor purchased more than double the carbon credits needed to offset all tour travel.”

People say a lot of misleading or flat out incorrect things about her. It’s popular to hate on her. People bring up a photograph with a ‘fan’ who hid his shirt until the photo went off so she would be smiling next to a swaztika. They bring up a phone call with Kanye where it turned out the (illegal) recording was edited in a misleading way and actually Taylor was telling the truth the whole time.

There’s other stuff people accuse her of, but it’s all similar bullshit. None of it adds up.

I went digging because I was wondering the same thing. The worst I found was ‘not using her platform for politics’ but when I looked into that… Ugh, gonna be anon so no Swifties come for me, but she’s just…she’s liberal (at least on social issues) but she went to a private Christian homeschooling program for her junior/senior year because they could accommodate her touring schedule. In one of her tour movies (Reputation), a stage designer says something is the size of a Boeing 737, and she has no idea what that is.

She likes books and stuff, and she writes beautiful lyrics, which make Swifties assume she’s a nerdy genius, but being good at English isn’t connected to being good at history or sociology or political science.

Basically, I don’t think she’s an idiot or anything, but I think she maybe isn’t very well versed in politics. She’s said she’s trying to educate herself, but still. If she hasn’t got the background or relevant knowledge…isn’t it better that she keep listening and researching rather than spouting off a half-cocked opinion when she has so many rabid fans? So, to me, ‘not using her platform enough’ (because she only uses it to drive youth voting registration and a handful of clear cut political topics) is ultimately a good thing.

Anyway. Apart from that, I legit couldn’t find anything except a couple months of chaste dating another teen when she was a teen herself. She was 19, he was 17, they went to a couple hockey games together. Both were out of high school and he was like…two months from being 18. They’re still friends.

For some people, that’s unforgivable, I guess? But… I dunno, man, seems like normal behavior to me. (Of course, I’m used to countries where you become an adult at 20, so that might be a factor on my part.)

Anyway. No idea if any of this was helpful. I just thought I’d write in because I tried doing the same digging about why she’s so problematic. Instead I found people complaining about the porn preferred by a guy she was seen next to at a mutual friend’s birthday party. People keep saying they dated, but I can’t find any actual proof of even that. (It also led me down a rabbit hole on that guy where I found out the complaint ‘he literally did a nazi salute at a concert’ was about him mockingly doing one during a song about idiots. Apparently he was trying to say Nazis are stupid or something? Not a great way to do it, but completely different from the accusation.)

Anyway. That’s all I could find. 🤷‍♀️ I couldn’t even verify the billionaire thing—everyone cites Bloomberg, but Bloomberg just credits an unnamed ‘analyst’ who doesn’t show their work. Which is wild to me.

But yeah. That’s all the digging turned up for me. Hopefully this ask can spare you a few hours of fruitless googling.

Thanks so much for the detailed info! I'm currently halfway through a YouTube vid that I'm speeding through just for funsies, and yeah, between that and post comments, it's all pointing to similar things: she basically had a golden girl start in life, funded by reasonably rich parents, and rose to stardom.

Good for her. People are whining that "she should do more" and I'm here to ask ... WHY. Why should she? Because she has money? Because she's famous? Isn't it enough for an artist to simply make the art she wants to make? Why should she be expected to do more, and why is NOT choosing to do that suddenly a moral failing? Like, it's an utter non-issue. It's the opposite of hurting anyone. She gets to decide what to do with her time and her money and maybe it's not what her fans want, but who cares.

I could understand being upset if she actively used her money to do something bad, but not using it is just not using it.

And everything else? Non-issues too. People can have boyfriends. And people get to associate with whoever they want and they are not responsible for that person's questionable dealings.

And the carbon emissions thing is such a joke anyway. I admit I don't know much about it, but the premise of "paying money to offset carbon" is obnoxious and has no meaning. No normal person needs to be concerned about that. That is firmly rooted in corporations, who can and should bear all the costs to change what they're doing.

[clementine-kesh]

Ok so I thought about your point about different programming languages and I think I have to disagree. Obviously, nobody's gonna be super good at all of them (or even more that about 5 at a time tops) and sure, if you're unusually proficient in a specific one, that's still gonna make a difference and I'm not denying that.

But here's the thing: most modern languages are pretty easy to pick up if you already know a few. They're designed that way, we have widely accepted standards now and yes there's hard to learn languages we'll probably always need (Assembly 😔) and also older (thus not adhering to modern standards) ones that are still used today due to other factors (COBOL 🙄) but if you pick up a (non-esotheric) language made in the 90s or after and you've coded in another modern language before, you'll probably be reasonably confident within a week or two and reading code will usually be possible more or less immediately, with the occasional google ofc but like 75% of coding is googling anyway.

Given that most sci-fi is set in the future, often the far future, I think it's reasonable to speculate this will only get easier in times to come. Languages whose continued use is caused by circumstance will eventually be replaced and languages we need but are hard to learn will be reduced to a minimum with most of it being replaced by more accessible languages. This has already been happening. For instance, just under 2% of version 4.9 of the Linux kernel source code is written in assembly; more than 97% is written in C. I directly cribbed that last sentence from Wikipedia, it's a very succinct summary.

So while I still call bullshit on the way trek treats xenolinguists (I'm especially thinking Hoshi rn) that's pretty much the speed of picking up a new language a sci-fi programmer would probably have, especially considering IDEs would also develop further, making anyone with programming experience able to code medium to complex stuff in a new language within a day or so, even if it'd take them longer to code it than someone with a lot of experience in that specific language.

I realise this isn't your field and so probably not very interesting to you but I've been thinking about it a lot since your reply and I just wanted to say this ig. Maybe some of your followers will care, dunno.

-Levi

no you’re not wrong! i code in r, python, and fortran as part of my research and learning the latter two after becoming proficient in r was a lot easier than learning r initially. i didn’t phrase it very well but my thought process was more along the lines of, since this is scifi we’re talking about, working with an alien programming language, especially one from a civilization you’ve never encountered before, would be more like trying to learn a non-standardized language

[vysaika]

My favorite example to use for how IQ is such utter bullshit is myself. I have a supposedly "genius level" IQ score! So I'm very aware of how little that means, considering all the things I struggle with anyway(like trying to figure out any kind of technology stuff, esp programming, just makes my head swim!)

The only thing IQ tests measure is how good you are at taking IQ tests. Like dang, I sure am great at this specific kind of pattern recognition and problem solving! Especially in a quiet environment where I don't have to consider any factors outside of the test questions when determining solutions!

Though I suppose those pattern recognition skills *have* let me notice that it only ever seems to be white people(and white men at that) who brag about high IQs...oh wait, no that's a completely different type of pattern recognition, as evidenced by the fact that said IQ braggarts never seem to notice that pattern themselves. Despite their big numbers on this one specific test. For some strange reason.

Isn't it fucking insane that so many people think that IQs are real. Like people genuinely believe you are born with one set level of intelligence that can be measured on a scale from 1 to ~200. As if intelligence wasn't extremely nuanced and completely subjective. And the fact that the majority of scientists that have advocated for IQ tests in the past have been eugenicists doesn't seem to concern anyone either

[audiovisualrecall]

First I was sure that if I just got a new backup drive to back up my art laptop onto so if it had any problems I wouldn't lose everything

But I've got the backup hard drive and I've only backed up a few things and got stuck bc not *everything* needs to be backed up but also I don't want to not back up anything??

And despite having the backup drive and doing some backing up of my art, I haven't touched the art laptop again since. I haven't worked on anything digital.

And I'm feeling like maybe what I need is actually a pc and not a laptop. Bc the art laptop is still super slow and laggy and buggy

But what if I spend all the time and money on a pc build for it, and then I Still don't use it?

I bought a fancy tablet ages ago

Before that I was making due with my buggy laggy laptop and my old intuous tablet, but I felt like I needed a screen tablet. So I got one.

And then when the art laptop started being problematic bc I was using it for Everything and didn't want to close Anything, I bought a 2nd laptop to use for browsing and fic typesetting and business type stuff- in other words anything where I keep a million browser tabs open for forever, and also some other programs. I moved a bunch of files off if my art laptop and onto the new one. The goal being that removing those million open tabs and programs and some extra large files (all the fics I've downloaded, for example) onto a different computer would allow the art laptop to function better

But I'm unhappy with the art laptop still anyway

But I can't just sit around not using it bc it isn't perfect

It's not like I've made any steps towards a pc build yet either anyway

I've just been Avoiding the topic and digital art completely

I even did my rbb artworks in watercolors bc I didn't want to do digital at the moment. Bc I'm avoiding the art laptop. I mean it was also fun to do watercolors for it, but avoidance was still a big factor in he decision.

Idk

And like a pc build is a lot of money, and I'm not making any money right now, I don't have anything new up on etsy and I haven't done much work on tidying the listings and stuff yet and haven't updated my website and haven't designed any new prints/stickers/pins and yeah I've been working on making new sketchbooks but idk if they'll sell, and even if they do it might take a while, I haven't listed them yet I still have to stamp the back inside cover, just. And maybe I can't really finalize any designs until I get back to working digitally. But I have existing designs I could work with. I need to look into the pricing for different production companies for stickers and etc, so I'll be putting money into that. And I haven't sold anything in ages really anyway. Idk. How can I be sure that a revamp/shop overhaul/update of products will get people to buy stuff? I don't feel like i have the energy to craft and post ads for the shop, too.

Idk.

This was a dumb idea.

[thedandelionresistance]

I blocked this person, but I love that in my many years of advocating for total bodily autonomy, when you point out that what is considered "acceptable" and even "healthy" is deeply rooted in what is considered normative and moral in the cultural zeitgeist (in this case, that cultural evangelical christian and capitalist ideals treat bodily modification as both an affront to god and a direct threat to your ability to produce capital - the same threat that devalues disabled lives, btw), there's only two common responses - "nuh-uh, actually this kind of autonomy is inherently badwrong because reasons, and those reasons are that it's inherently badwrong" (circular/axiomatic thinking fallacies), or "direct appeal to medical authority, usually which doesn't even have a consensus on this, in a system where the institution of medicine has historically been used to control the autonomy of the oppressed and deny access or coercively corrected "abnormal" physical and mental traits".

Like do you know your disability justice history? Because I've lived it. Got the scars, literal and less so, to show for it. I've learned what is and isn't safe to disclose to medical professionals - what might lock us out of the care we desperately need and what might force us into "treatment" that is as traumatizing as it is unnecessary. I've learned that a medical professional that is a true ally is practically a unicorn, even among the few professionals that at least clear the low, low bar of being useful. The only streamlined, positive experiences I've ever had in the medical system have been for acute, immediately treatable issues, and I had a medical professional admit to my face that the system was basically useless for chronic issues and only actually useful for such acute issues.

I've been incarcerated over my mental health, where none of the actual factors driving me to self harm and be suicidal were addressed despite me begging for (nonexistent) resources, where I was literally locked out of my room for refusing to go to group therapy that was both triggering and also all stuff I already knew (whether it was the "have you tried yoga art" type or the "here's some extremely condescending basic information about your diagnoses that you already knew" type), where I was threatened with physical forced medication by a nurse who knew their system was having issues removing meds after I refused a med because it caused me a dangerous and extremely distressing side effect and that I had been taken off of the (relatively high dose in the system) a month ago. I was coerced onto medications that did long term damage to me because "you wouldn't be suicidal if your brain could function right without it".

Weirdly enough, my last attempt ever occurred just over a month after leaving my abuser, while I was still hundreds of miles from my entire support system in a different state. It's almost as if the social model of disability actually fit the majority of my depression symptoms to a T (I'm a proponent of a mixed social/medical model for reasons that would make this already long post significantly longer, but anyway). Heavy sarcasm here to be clear.

I am a victim of iatrogenic harm and medical and psychiatric neglect and abuse, and have psychiatric trauma with elements of RAMCOA/semi-intentional conditioning/programming - in the regular, secular, medical psychiatric system. I've had bog-standard therapists that most people would consider "good" blame me for my abuse and for symptoms that were a result of known unmedicated ADHD. When incarcerated, I had to agree to join the waiting list to be sent to a state facility hundreds of miles from my support system, just to get the state to cover the thousands of dollars in bills that my (medicaid - state-based) insurance wouldn't, and then had that used to bully me into "compliance". I literally lied and managed to get discharged from one hold I was on while in inpatient because the very idea of that terrified me so much.

Most facilities heavily controlled our access to their phones, which were typically by the nurse's station where they could easily be monitored and shut off with a button, if, say, you tried to tell someone that you were having your rights violated (and I saw it justified as "well, it's clearly harming the patient and feeding into their delusions" multiple times, even for patients with no record of delusional disorders). We were not allowed access to our own phones, because they were "bad for us", despite the fact that they could easily have just limited access to things like news sites and social media using the same software that schools use, if that was the actual concern. We were also not allowed access to comfort items like plushies, pre-pandemic, for "sanitary" reasons (that met all other safety rules), despite the fact that the hospital where I stayed on the oncology ward with a ton of immunocompromised patients allowed me to have my own plushie in my room from home while recovering from major surgery myself.

The thing is, my experience is on the easier side of things, too. I was only ever once put on "arm's length" watch while deeply suicidal, where I had to be watched even while showering and such, because I was a little too honest about my level of suicidality. It didn't actually help keep me safe, by the way - I had admitted of my own accord because I already had decided I wanted to keep myself safe, after an attempt no one had noticed or prevented in the hospital itself.

That's just a small window into the psychiatric side of things. It doesn't even encompass having to develop a script to receive needed care for the untreated ADHD that has caused us severe complex PTSD so we don't get denied or undermedicated on the basis of "anxiety" or largely nondistressing and well-managed psychosis or worries about "side effects" despite that when previously experiencing side effects on different meds, we did everything right. It's the freaking tip of the iceberg when our iceberg is still smaller than most.

Then there's the medical side. There's the fact that we have a condition that affects an estimated one in six people that takes on average thirty years from onset of symptoms to diagnosis, when one of the primary symptoms can be anaphylaxis. There's the fact that we had to fight for YEARS to get us a power chair that would allow us to leave our own home, and when we finally did, it turns out it's helping us engage with a safe level of exertion without experiencing post-exertional malaise (something that can help multiple of our conditions but is very hard to achieve and can be dangerous to attempt, as going over that exertion threshold can worsen the conditions, sometimes permanently). While we don't actually give a shit about conforming to an arbitrary abled standard, it turns out that the sooner we had actually gotten a power chair, the more likely we would have needed it for less time overall.

Even aside from all the little bullshit, like my insurance's transportation department needing my doctor to prove to them via a piece of paperwork that the powerchair I had to fight to get approved for through that same insurance is something I use and that I need powerchair accessible transit, or the doctor incorrectly submitting the form stating that I use a cane and walker (which, haven't used a walker in years) but not the power chair which is the whole reason for needing the form; or the other doctor that wrote "patient thinks their POTS symptoms worsen when they change position" (do you know what orthostatic intolerance IS, lady?!), or the other doctors that told me that benadryl and famotidine and an inhaler were really the only treatment for my mast cell disorder (blatantly false), or the fact that I requested a cardiologist appointment over consistent slight EKG abnormalities consistent with POTS except they rejected the referral when it had POTS on it and I guess "chest pains" got put in for insurance reasons when I've literally never had cardiac-related chest pains in my life (heartburn and chronic pain related ones, yes, but those have been actively verified to be non-cardiac), or the fact that I've been experiencing worsening gallbladder symptoms for four years but had to go in to the ER twice within 48 hours just to get them to consider surgery, or the fact I have to risk being labeled a drug seeker every time I communicate I have an allergy to most opioids while I'm actively asking if they are even truly necessary for the level of pain the surgery itself will cause...

At this point, even when asking for referrals to specialists my primary care doctor (who is one of the better ones) knows are knowledgeable about my suspected issues, I know there's a 1/3 chance that my appointment will go like this:

because that's the norm at this point! I've had doctors confidently contradict the experts in my conditions, and write me off if I displayed any sort of knowledge or competence or even insight in understanding the chronic illnesses I live with!

I've gotten slowly sicker which did irreparable damage to my body, while doctors would begrudgingly run unhelpful basic tests and tell me to come back in six months after spending six minutes not even really listening to me. I've learned to go to the disabled community first, because they're the helpful self-taught mechanic dad next door to the shady scraping-dirt-into-your-new-oil-filter mechanic down the street. Every single diagnosis I have gotten, and likely have yet to get, has been because of the disabled community, who were the first to identify it, more knowledgeable about the testing and treatment process than a good portion of doctors, and who helped me identify things like side effects, comorbid conditions, and other things to look out for (as well as which ones were dangerous vs easily treatable vs neither dangerous nor treatable but were still my choice whether or not they were worth experiencing).

It's the disabled community that identified my MCAS, my POTS, my ME/CFS, the fact that my fibromyalgia is more likely misdiagnosed small fiber neuropathy (strange that a diagnosis that can be excluded with a simple skin biopsy is so often misdiagnosed as a condition that is definitionally a diagnosis of exclusion), that it was okay to get a cane and a power chair even if they DID "cause" muscle atrophy in muscles I already couldn't use so that I could have access to the world outside the 300 sq ft of usable space in this allegedly 570 sq ft apartment (BAD architectural planning lol), that vyvanse was causing severe emotional dysregulation including making me feel like I was falling out of love with my partner, that Adderall might be slightly worsening my existing photosensitivity to the point of being more noticeable and what steps I could take to adjust for it (during the hours when it hits worst, I tend to wear a certain pair of sunglasses that happens to have close to the right tint and a baseball cap so I can keep the lights on and not end up overstimulated by the dark lol).

It's a disabled friend that's been helping me by providing actual accurate and helpful information during the ADHD med process, who also offered me information about navigating medical marijuana as a psychotic person once I'm in a state where it's legal.

In fact, it's been people like them and the community in general who have offered me the scripts that have led to the tests and procedures which actually got me accurately diagnosed and treated. It's the community that has told me when something is a "switch providers if you can" issue and when it's simply a "normal bumps in the road with a decent provider" issue. It's the community that has informed me when (usually more minor) symptoms are actually both abnormal and treatable, and when doctors have outright lied to me about a symptom or disorder not being treatable.

It's also the community that has comforted me, been angry on my behalf, and so much more, during this whole long, hard process. They've been the ones ready to go to war for me over the mistreatment and abuse. They've been the ones telling me that actually, it's not okay, when the internalized ableism starts to get to me, reminding me I deserved better and that the most basic of decency was a bar on the floor that many of my providers were digging a hole to still go under (which fits metaphorically because often it takes them more effort than just taking a small step over it). It's them who, when local, have come to my appointments to help advocate for me.

Like, don't get me wrong, I've dealt with some lateral ableism too, but it's nothing like the systemic ableism I've dealt with in every single interaction I've ever had with a medical professional. It's not like the fact that the system is doing what it's intended to do, and that doctors and other medical professionals are little more than medical cops gatekeeping access to care and accommodations and resources while they and insurance bleed us dry financially while our actual needs go un- or under-funded. It's not like people think I'm a conspiracy theorist when I say this, when I've spent the past few years being my own doctor, PA, nurse, caregiver, case manager, patient advocate, and half a dozen other things besides while my health actively deteriorated, all while navigating egos more fragile than my NPD-having-ass, just to get rubber stamps on the labels I already knew applied to me and the treatments I knew would be effective.

It's not like this has been the experience of nearly every chronically ill person I know - of being labeled attention-seeking, drug-seeking, anything other than CARE-seeking; of being scorned if not outright mocked and derided to our faces; of being told we don't know, we couldn't possibly know, that our years of living with our symptoms and dozens of hours researching them couldn't possibly compare to the thirty minutes out of 12+ years of schooling that covered our condition with information now multiple decades out of date, when doctors aren't even required to have their medical knowledge BE up to date, let alone to prove it.

Oh wait, that's exactly what it's like. Every disabled person I know has more horror stories than diagnoses, and we all know that diagnoses are a buy-one-get-ten-free deal. Every disabled person I know has multiple stories of when medical professionals' incompetence or outright violence nearly killed them, or DID kill a loved one. The look on another disabled person's face when they start talking to other disabled people and finally feel seen and heard and validated, the way people break down completely over being told that not only do they deserve better, but in fact deserve so much better than literal abuse and active harm from the very people who swore to do none (let alone those that seem to think that a lack of action is always a lack of harm -_-)... it will haunt us until we die.

So what does this have to do with the screenshots?

It's all part of the same ableism. It's part of the same effort to curtail the autonomy of the marginalized. It's part of the same system that makes people jump through burning hoops (people who have metaphorical and literal mobility issues, no less) without help to get a pittance of pocket change that they can use to call us entitled when we say that the very rules they have about how much we can earn or save or even receive if we marry or date are designed to kill us slowly, that the whole thing is a barely concealed genocide and eugenics behind a thin farce at the "charity" of having our most basic needs met. It's part of the system that demands we perform the appropriate level of misery and suffering, otherwise we're lying fakers defrauding the system just so that we can be legally forced to stay under the poverty line or lose it all and often be sued for it back.

The idea that we're incapable of knowing ourselves and our needs. The idea that "mental illness" in particular, and especially any kind of mental illness in which we perceive our minds, bodies, or the world around us as differently from the enforced reality (which isn't always even the same as consensus reality, which itself is also enforced - meaning, sometimes we are treated as exceptions to the general rules of consensus reality when it suits them), makes us fundamentally and inherently "incapable" of knowing what we need or taking care of ourselves or making healthy decisions...

Think of how they treat fat people as too "stupid" and "deluded" to "realize" we're actually "unhealthy" and just need to "eat less" and "exercise more".

Think about how they treat people with say, POTS, as either malicious fakers gaming the system for... meds easily obtainable with the comparatively less gatekept diagnosis of depression, and recommendations to wear compression garments and eat more salt; or as hysterical whiny lazy people who just need to realize we're just out of shape.

Think about how they treat people with chronic pain as malingerers, how they treat people with conditions known not to have any truly reliable test (like MCAS, currently) as hypochondriacs who need a psych referral, how they treat anyone with an illness not immediately correctable with a short course of antibiotics or stitches or in some specific cases, surgery, as simultaneously a dangerous faker gaming the system and a helpless victim too mentally ill to realize that we're fine or could be if we just listen to them and be less lazy.

These things are supposed to contradict each other, because our oppression relies on it. Our oppression relies on being upheld by a cognitive dissonance that keeps the majority of people from questioning it, because it's a house of tissue paper cards that falls apart as soon as you actually examine it.

People with BIID being treated as if their divergence from the norm in their conscious experience of their bodies, and the distress and dysfunction that disconnect and dysphoria* generate, as if that makes them fundamentally less capable of knowing what they need, of knowing what is "healthy" (as defined by an abled standard), of knowing that their needs are at all different from the majority of the population - in particular, because a large part of the disorder is experienced cognitively.

*It is, definitionally, dysphoria as much as dysmorphia, if not more, given that a key factor of dysmorphia is a "distorted" body image, and, well, who is defining what is distorted and what isn't? Is it, perhaps, the people who meet the very same normative standard they create and enforce?

It's just sanism. Just bog-standard, basic ableism, but sanism in particular. It's that people with limb differences and deformities, if happy with the shape of their bodies, are often considered crazy too, but might at least be begrudgingly "allowed" to be because they "have bo other choice". Even then, those people are often forced as close to the abled standard as possible - made to use painful prosthetics when crutches might be the preferred option, coerced into surgeries which bring them closer to the norm (especially with congenital differences), and so on. (If my understanding of this is inaccurate, I apologize. I'm trying to go off what I've heard the community saying, but I admittedly don't have direct experience with this).

But if you have a "healthy" and "abled" body, no matter if it's not for you?

"Why are you removing healthy functional tissue?"

Is that about a single or double mastectomy, a hysterectomy, an orchiectomy, a vaginoplasty, "extreme" aesthetic body modifications or a limb removal for BIID?

"You're mutilating yourself!" Is this about the above, or phalloplasty, or metoidioplasty, or even piercings or tattoos (and if you don't believe me about those, try living in a conservative christian state for like, a week - or if you already do but haven't heard this, count yourself lucky!), or breast reductions, or breast enhancements, or plastic surgery in general (not that there's not points to be made about societal beauty standards, but the idea that most arguments against it are really about that doesn't hold weight when people are more violently against more visible and less normative changes).

"It's unhealthy!" Except they ignore actual science showing that losing weight is neither permanently possible nor healthy for most people, and actual science showing that denial of care to those who need it results in significantly worsened health outcomes up to and including significantly increased rates of suicide, and actual science showing that in fact, when someone's brain and body aren't matching up, even "dramatic" changes to align the body with the brain is not only the safer option, but often results in improved quality of life and overall health.

You start to wonder... how are they so confidently making these statements that it's only a good option as a last resort when they never bother to try it before then? Could they be treating a "standard" body (as set by those in power) as being inherently healthily arbitrarily, claiming it is so because it is so? Could they even, perhaps, be trying to force conformity to that standard until they no longer can, and only then caving to save face? Could what is and isn't "healthy" in terms of the body you live in and how you feel living in it in fact be more malleable than people who benefit from meeting the standard are willing to admit?

Because here's the thing - I've been treated the same for being happy with being a wheelchair user as people with BIID who are happy minus a body part are. Never mind that it dramatically improves my quality of life - I might experience mild muscle atrophy that my conditions already cause, which is easily counterable with some easy physical therapy exercises! What if people see me living a happy fulfilled life as a wheelchair user and realize that they don't have to suffer through without accommodations and, G-d forbid, demand the absolute INCONVENIENCE of building a more accessible world?!

That's what it's really about, I think. "But what if someone gets a limb removed and that's disabling?!" I dunno, maybe we accommodate that person with mobility aids and accessibility features being made universal like we already should be doing? Maybe there are already people who didn't have a choice in the matter struggling with that who you clearly don't care about other than to tokenize as an argument against bodily autonomy? Maybe it just makes you uncomfortable to acknowledge the vast breadth and depth of human existence?

The part I haven't mentioned is that I've spoken at length with people with BIID (as well as similar, less well known conditions/related forms of neurodivergence). Aside from the way a lot of it is treated as "wanting a disability", instead of acknowledging and treating a slightly different existing disability, the biggest thing I've seen has been how "choosing unhealthiness" is treated as a threat - but to what and whom, exactly? To other disabled people, also fighting for our right to total autonomy? Nope, their goals are in line with ours, and quite frankly we personally don't give a fuck about Kendrick Jefferson who becomes part of a created system because he "wants to be plural" OR Maria Lopez who wants to lose OR gain weight to be skinnier OR fatter for zeir own personal reasons or Kim Nguyen who wants to be a wheelchair user because she already has an unmet need whatever that specific need is OR Joe Smith who decides to specifically induce or purposely strengthen existing psychosis (whether using mental techniques or psychedelics) because either it's not the distressing kind or sometimes it is but also the good experiences are worth it or so on.

(Seriously, especially in leftist spaces, the stigma against 'healthy' and 'responsible' use of 'mind-altering substances', vs 'drug addiction', vs non-substance-based altered mind states are SO different, even if conservatives can't tell the difference between us. It's WEIRD).

Worth noting that we are a fat wheelchair-using psychotic system. All of those examples are directly relevant to us.

When we say we support ALL expressions of bodily autonomy, we mean it. We care more about harm reduction than "health", and we see any threat to autonomy as a direct threat to both harm reduction and human rights. Our beliefs about this are actually reasoned out and self-consistent, not piecemeal after-the-fact justifications for reactionary ideals based in hegemonical ideals not yet unlearned and logic-of-disgust-and-discomfort fallacious thinking.

Or, to put it more simply, we actually mean what we say, rather than making up nice sounding reasons in progressive language to justify beliefs and actions defending them which feed the very same systems with boots on all our necks.

*****

Also, please don't go bothering this-is-exorsexism over that one post. We left their name in since they aren't the object of our ire here, and also bc they're a great account about exorsexism that even if they DO disagree with us or were to block us, we'd still like to highlight for their work in educating and informing people about their exorsexism. They've created an amazing resource in their blog, regardless of their feelings on this issue specifically.

Note: I tried alt text instead of an in-post image ID, please let me know if it's not working or there's any issues with it.

[momentokori]

I know we haven’t really talked or whatever (hell, I don’t even know if we’re mutuals) but I wanted to provide some comfort.

Has your brother explicitly said he’s leaving because of you? No? Then it probably isn’t because of you.

Has your mom said she’s stressed because of you? No? Then it probably isn’t because of you. (also I don’t know your home situation but she might be a factor in your brother wanting to leave. Take this with a grain of salt though)

As for the academic stuff it sounds like you’re burnt out, which would explain the assignment stuff. The school system was really only built to make obedient workers anyways and you’ll never experience this type of shit after school / college anyways so it’s fine. I would recommend doing your best on tests but if you’re genuinely having trouble on them instead of just failing them like you say you are then I recommend getting help from teachers.

I know you said you won’t believe it, but it will get better eventually. Once you hit rock bottom there’s nowhere left to go but up.

I don't really know what to say. Thank you. I don't even know if we're mutuals, I feel a little bad knowing someone I don't know well cares.

I don't even know if I'll make it to college. My school has this program, you take college classes in your highschool years. My mom made me do it because it's free and we couldn't afford actual college.

I always assume family stuff is my fault. Even if it isn't. That's just something I need to work on myself.

Again, thank you. I hope I get to know you better in the future. I'm sorry you had to see me this way.

[the-firebird69]

A son stayed in a hotel in Japan the room size was this. He said he didn't mind it he had a couple trouble with a couple things the bed was too small and it didn't have a window this one does and it's nice you need to have a window and it had some amenities but really in here you could put a hot plate and a refrigerator and ATV air conditioning you can see that it does have those things in it. Window this is how we wanna build them and we'll use camper furniture so there's room and they're less expensive and they do have a ton of TV's and they have those type of VAV box for air conditioning and the windows here looks like they're fixed I would like operable windows and you just let them open in a little but this is ideal for a lot of people who travel you don't need a big room as a matter of fact the small room is more comfortable for people now big rooms sometimes they don't l.... now big rooms sometimes they don't like and our son was in big rooms in China and hated it and he'd rather have a small room. Makes you feel secure In some cities in some cases this would be an apartment and people don't like to think about it but if you have to live somewhere and don't have money it is a life saving measure. We wanna make these modular in other words there'd be several different apartment sizes in the same complex and you could get a two bedroom or a one bedroom and there would be probably a size limit but really we would make it different sizes and probably the top floor would be like two or three bedroom with a full kitchen and things like that but those will be modular too and with smaller furniture and you could move up as you increase in rank and it's a nice thing to do. But but these would go together in a day it will the foundation and site work in a week and with a pouring in a day all these would be installed and hotel and then you can close it all in in two weeks you have an apartment complex and he suggested we start building them so we designed a couple based on the furniture and things we got out of a whole bunch of new campers that are the same make and we said we have to modify the furniture but in the future we won't have to but we have to set up anyways so we set up a factory to modify the furniture and we need personnel this is part of the camper program and Hera and Zues ohh gothis is all my name that was mes this is all are part of the lead. Put their names on it and she said to contact her and have her help out with each step and we know what you mean the steps are when we started or when we're getting the factories put together or designing the factories and we're starting the other way around we're going to go ahead and do this now.

Frank Castle hard castle

Well they're arguing and making fun of people and it's not going to be great later but good there's a lot of little bugs flying around in these kind of few probably most of them so it shouldn't be that bad but they really need to get on the stuff there not so we're gonna try and help out there. These ideas are great I have seen this before yeah because he came up with it but other people came up with the idea. And you can expand apartments and expand hotels and that's kind of the idea and if they shrink in business and it's like that for awhile you move a bunch of it away instead of closing the facility. Is a wonderful idea and it's a wonderful time for it to happen so we're moving out and we're gonna get it done.

Thor Freya

This is one of the best ideas I've ever heard the Micro Hotel idea the Micro apartment in the modular it is intense it'll fit a ton of people we needed now and it is great to have larger ones it is wonderful. I'm wondering how you gonna feel the facility and say what do you mean feel it or develop power generation and yes and you could put solar on the roof and a lot of people like that it saves a lot of money and it does there's a lot of solar programs in which you do it and we should start the energy program and it will be for factories for cities for housing automobiles and it's important he says because we need to attach to it immediately emergency method of building a rapidly factors if we're going to run out of oil we do know when that will be approximately and we are going to start doing it now. And he thinks we lot for the input. And he says he's getting kinda beat up and he needs me to send troops in Chinese Vietnamese these guys need to get here is hardly any of them and it's true too they gotta see what's going on. We're gonna start doing that and I appreciate the help he says no I appreciate the help LOL

Zig Zag

He says he's swamped inundated can't think too straight sometimes but he's doing OK now but it's health there's too many of these bugs too many these people are jerks and doesn't have funding but we are going to work on that they said that they did not reimburse Washington but they actually did and it's not on his ledger is not true either people found it and so they're full of crap and just doesn't happen for awhile and he submitted it and they cut him a check and it was the first Continental Congress and they had pride about themselves back then.

Apollo and Goddess Wife

Olympus

good

Hera

[catpile-irl]

post meet!

okay, so i just got home from my meet, it went okay, i got 6/9, really struggled with bench and got 2 red lights on my last deadlift attempt (soft lockout but it was not that heavy for me). just some initial thoughts, i am stoned so they might be all over the place: overall it was pretty fun, i definitely understand why people like competing. i had really strong squats bc i kept them super low since they have been a struggle lately, but everything felt super light and good there.

that gave me some confidence out the gate, which was nice.

then my bench opener was 57.5kg and it was ezpz, but i failed my next two, idk why exactly, just seemed like i didn't have it in me. my third attempt the bar bounced on my chest so it took ages to get the press command, and idk it just messed me up. i benched 140, failed 145 during my last heavy week, so maybe i already wasn't feeling confident, and my shoulder injury/hypermobility stuff is flaring up because i've been working so much and not standing. so that was definitely a factor, and it makes sense that i'd have a hard time. i had a harder time setting up in their rack and that played a factor. so lesson there is, stand more at work, keep up with pt exercises, and my bench will do better. and make sure i keep healthy boundaries with work and don't overwork myself.

i really want my bench to get better, but it's hard, it seems to be stagnating/getting worse. i was so close to really benching my bodyweight and now i feel like i'm further away, and im not sure why. probably stress from work and the above shoulder pain. i was feeling amazing about my bench in january, doing 145x2. I supposed it's not that big of a drop, it just sucks that it coincides with my first meet. but you win some, you lose some.

deadlifts honestly felt great, like i really wasn't worried about them at all, i am pretty confident in my deadlift these days. watching the videos back, while the lifts go up quickly and they're (mostly) well executed, i definitely was rushing my setup because of my nerves. to no one's surprise, i was kind gripping and ripping, which can bug my back, and isn't the best way to do the lift. so i think the best thing there is practice really. i just honestly didn't feel like i was rushing it all that much, but i really wasn't pulling slack enough. i think those bad habits will probably always creep up under times of anxiety (like right before a pr usually) if i keep practicing doing a thorough setup with heavier weights it will get easier to do. obvs.

honestly very proud of my deadlift, that is my best lift by far. and that weight felt so easy, it gets me super excited, like maybe i can actually lift more than that. so i will try and push myself when deadlifting a bit more and see what i can really do. though really, whatever i'm doing with my deadlift training seems to be working, so maybe i should just keep on keeping on.

so anyway, just some initial thoughts. i did have fun so i might do it again next year, but i didn't really see any other meets that i would want to do this year. garage gym competition is in a few weeks, but i don't feel energized to do that. i want to spend more time biking outside now that it's spring.

as far as future training goes, idk exactly, i still really love getting stronger, as long as my joints can keep up. would like to get leaner for the summer (in a healthy way). i have a couple programs kind of already ready to go, one is jeff nippard's powerbuilding 2 and the other is my usual stronger by science reps to failure bullshit. i know the sbs programming works for me, i have gotten way stronger since i started using it. but i was following powerbuilding this year when i was hitting those PRs, so who knows. what i think was going on there really is that i was stronger than i thought i was for a while, and i wasn't lifting heavy enough weight. i also think i made great gains from my last cycle in november, and i have been very consistent in my training since then. so really i don't think it came down to the programming. one thing that i love is overwarm singles, so i was adding that into his powerbuilding program for fun and (hopefully) gains and i want to keep doing that. i think that my peaking and rest time was just about right for this meet. i think if my shoulder had been in a better place i would have done better on bench.

either way i will probably just bike tomorrow, rest tuesday, and lift wednesday. by then i will likely have a feel for what i want to do programming-wise, and i'll get back to it. i think i will take a week or so off bench and shoulder stuff, and really focus on PT. i want to work on getting my squat deeper to protect my knee, which luckily doesn't feel bad post-meet.

i will probably write more later after i have had more time to think, for now i am going to puzzle and watch cozy vintage gaming youtube

[oldarticles]

College vs. Real College

by Jake Hurwitz

Like many of you, I grew up watching Saved by the Bell, Boy Meets World, and (don't tell anyone) Dawson's Creek. Those shows taught me all I knew about relationships, family problems, and, as years passed without network cancellation, college life. Well, you can imagine my disappointment when I moved into my dorm freshman year only to discover that the college life portrayed on television during my youth was not even remotely similar to real college life. Allow me to explain:

Saved by the Bell: First of all, the fact that Zack got into UCLA without ever doing any homework (aside from that project he did with the Native American that one time) just because he got a good SAT score is ridiculous, but I won't even get into that. Zack moves in to his dorm with A.C. Slater and Samuel "Screech" Powers. Talk about a stroke of luck! Who saw that one coming?! As freshmen, Zack and the guys had a sweet common room, complete with a kitchen, which connected them to one Miss Kelly Kapowski and her two hot roommates, Leslie and Alex. My freshman year I lived in a 12 by 10 cinderblock cell with a strange Indian kid who had a nasty Hot-Pocket addiction and rampant body odor. There was no common room connecting our room to the room of three gorgeous women. Instead, we had a hallway with a puke-stained carpet connecting our room to the R.A.'s room - who, by the way, was not an awesome ex-football player named Mike but a tiny computer nerd named Barry. Yeah, my first day on campus was a let-down, and it only went downhill from there.

Boy Meets World: Just like Cory, Eric, Topanga, Sean and Angela, I applied to Pennbrook University. Sadly, I didn't get in, but not because of my low G.P.A. or because of a lack of extra curricular activities. No, I'd say the biggest determining factor in my not being admitted was that Pennbrook doesn't exist. That's probably the reason my spell check has it underlined in red right now. Anyway, as if that wasn't bad enough, I was totally thrown off when I went to my first class and didn't see my favorite teacher from high school standing at the front, ready to throw some sweet life lessons my way. What the hell, Mr. Deck? Mr. Feeny followed his students from school to school. I know change is difficult, and you might be missing that PhD, but, dude, get with the program. I mean, what am I supposed to do if Topanga gets mad at me? Or what if Angela wants to move to Europe for a year with her Dad? I can't solve problems like this on my own!

Dawson's Creek: That's when I started thinking, why should I even go to college? Pacey didn't go and he did fine. He was an investment banker, and later in the very same season, a chef. Those things sound like stuff I can do without ever getting any sort of actual training, right? So I put on a suit and went out there and gave it a shot. Amazingly, no brokerage houses or five-star restaurants hired me after my interviews. I did everything Pacey did; grew the goatee, drove a cool vintage car, even tried to use unnecessarily big words in my sentences"; unfortunately my math knowledge is at or below third grade level, and I don't know how to use a calculator. The chef thing didn't go too well when they discovered my culinary skills were limited to making Easy-Mac, and even that comes out a little watery sometimes".

What I'm trying to say is that college is not like TV. You're not going to bang Joey Potter, Topanga or in Zack's case - whoever the hell you want. Your teachers aren't gonna be Mr. Feeny or Professor Lasky (Thanks IMDB!). And you're gonna have to work hard to excel in life, my friend. But there is one upside that TV didn't tell you about. There's tons of alcohol to drink and crazy drugs to do in college, way more than any TV shows let on. So have a ball! Cut loose! Get fucked up! Hey, maybe Topanga will pass out and you can feel her boobs.

[semi-sketchy]

Alright, since the tutorial is over, I can finally get to the part I'm excited about, awakening Blades! But first, need some Core Crystals. Where do you get those?

Steal them from the military, of course!

Alright, I wanna save my rare for a little later on since this is very early game. So, we ready to go over how Blade summoning works?

There is a system that will guarantee you get at least 3 rare Blades, dubbed the pity system by fans. When you make your save file, you are put into 1 of 5 groups. The group determines the probability for pulling specific rare Blades as well as which 3 pity Blades you will receive. You can typically figure out which group you're in by checking your first few rare Blades against this list. (A 1 in the "Assure" category means they're part of that group.)

Though, chances are you are in group 1. There was a programming error and rather than group 5 being put in the game, group 1 was instead put in there twice, so you've got a 40% chance of being group 1.

Pity system goes by points, your pity Blades come at 100, 200 and 300 points with the points resetting each time you pull one. A common core is worth 5, rare 25 and legendary 50. At the beginning of the game with the pool this large, a legendary is basically a guaranteed rare Blade, though I'd suggest holding onto it to better your chances when the pool is smaller.

Luck and idea stats are also a factor in summoning Blades. It's a lot of explaining many others have done in the past, so I'll just link one and leave you with the math equation:

Probability (in %) = max((sqrt(LUK)*0,01*1,3)+0,95;1) * 0.01*(100 + 5*[the highest idea lvl]) * [crystal multiplier] * [base probability]

Basically, higher luck means higher chance to pull and higher idea stat means better chance for a rarer Blade whose element matches that idea.

That's the jest of it, anyway. You can dive into the datamine more if you'd like to see some raw numbers, but for now, let's open some cores!

And this is gonna take a moment because I'm doing 1.0.0, meaning I can't skip the awakening, but honestly unless I'm knowingly pulling commons (as in all rares are finished) I kinda like the suspense.

Man the game really wants me to use a wind knuckle, huh?

Anyways, another misconception I wanna squash is common Blades are not useless! Some commons are even better than rares (I'm so sorry, Dromarch). There's abilities entirely unique to them. I actually did a playthrough a few years ago where I used almost exclusively common Blades and it was a blast!

For instance, Treasure Sensor is great for grinding cores as it can make enemies drop up to 100% more loot, add a gold chip (or whichever has this effect for the weapon class) and you can be getting a shitton of extra cores for end-game grinding.

There's plenty of others, like Open Space just increases damage outdoors (which is like 80% of the game), Back Attack (more damage from the back), Pinpoint weakness (critical damage increase), but possibly the best is Orb Master. It essentially makes elemental orbs behave like they do in Torna where any special the Blade performs adds their element orb, no need to do a 3-stage combo. It is INCREDIBLY USEFUL when chain attacking comes around.

Just take a glance into the datamine and you'll see how useful their battle skills really are.

Of course, so much of this stuff depends on the weapon class of the Blade. If it's a shield hammer, it's already bad, but a megalance, chroma katana or ether cannon? Gold, buddy. Also don't discount bitballs, I did my common run with an Orb Master dark element bitball and she was great.

Also, 4 crown commons are a keep. Basically the rarity difference in commons determines how full their skill tree is. Higher rarity means their skills and specials can level up higher and they also have more of them. I know 4 crowns can hurt since one more would've been a rare, BUT if you fill out their affinity chart THEN release them, you get an overdrive protocol. There's only a few of those in chests in the game, so yes 4 crowns are a wonderful resource and a necessity since RNG determines who is a Blade's Driver.

Oh, I explain all this about the gotcha system without really giving my thoughts on it as a whole.

The gotcha mechanic was put in because the devs thought it would make more people talk about the game online and boy were they right.

I know it's really divided, I still remember the argument that since the DLC gave you cores, this meant you were gambling to "win girls" and... sigh

Look, I actually like this system. It is kinda exciting and overall just fun to see what you get. (Although it makes planning an LP HARD like props to Chuggaaconroy for being able to adapt on the fly to new pulls.) Every playthrough really is unique and like Pokemon, each Blade is essentially a 1-of-a-kind (unless they're a rare but those are the only ones people care about). It's a nice spice and kinda encouraging to try weapon classes on Drivers you didn't try before. Might be a bad combo, but hey! Variety is the spice of life.

It's gotcha, sure, but it's also baked into the core system instead of tacked on. Gotchas in games like Team Sonic Racing can get a bit tedious because you're mostly pulling for cosmetics, just trying to finish a catalogue, of sorts, but here it has an actual impact on what you're doing and helps keep things fresh.

So yeah, I like the Blade pulling system. Who would've thought someone who adores Xenoblade 2 would like this system.