#anyways i love medical dramas. the best genre.

[suuho]

started watching hospital playlist (finally; long overdue) and i don’t even care if anyone gets a love interest here, the friendships are so delicious. cannot believe junwan is the token gay in a sea of straight people.

[transmutationisms]

I would love to hear more of your thoughts on House & its relation to the detective genre ! I think that house (completely accidentally and very badly) stumbles into a good critique of how doctors & medical structures view addicts & disabled people, with house being a horrible hegemonic mr malpractice to his patients frequently yet half is series is unironically just about all the injustice/mistreatment he faces because his doctor colleagues can’t see him as a person but only as a problem to be solved/rehabbed/therapized/institutionalized/treated like a child with stolen candy/treated like a criminal. and then it also randomly takes an incredibly pro MAID stance. which isn’t really part of this but I just remembered how batshit insane that show was. and then chase killed a dictator and I feel like the show was squarely on his side for that one. Anyway. Do you have thoughts? I really like house.

ok here's my house md take. like a lot of medical dramas, the show essentially relies for its dramatic appeal on the construal of patients as gross, weird, and stupid—rubes who are too uneducated and self-serving in their petty lies to solve their own bodies, and thus need the intervention of house to fix them. this is standard for the genre, although slightly meaner on house than on some other examples (cf. grey's or even the older and soapier generation of these shows). i don't even think house committing malpractice is all that new; it's relatively common as a plot point that positions the noble rule-breaking doctor as someone who 'does what needs to be done' and skirts the bureaucratic red tape to follow their own superior judgment. what makes house more interesting is that from the get-go, house himself is both a doctor and an unwilling patient. in itself this isn't a tension that's new to the medical soap (injuring a major character is pretty par for the course) but house's particular interactions with the ruling biomedical epistemology are, as you point out, characterised by hostility and resistance, and the show frequently either sides with house, or at least leaves it somewhat up to the viewer to decide whether house is right to resist the pathologisation that cuddy and wilson try to impose on him.

this is kind of a tricky line to walk for 7 seasons or however long the show is. my recollection is there are episodes, for example, where it's very clear that house's pain is physical, and the writers use this to morally justify his vicodin use. this is obviously not a full-throated defence of opioid users, but it is at least pointing to a position on chronic pain that allows for the possibility that for some people, long-term use of drugs with a high addiction potential and side effects is legitimately the best thing. but, this messaging is also undercut by the fact that it's primetime television, they need to make drama, and there are definitely also episodes where house is framed as potentially lying about his pain, or at least mistaking a somatic problem for a physical one, which the writers often (not always, but often) present as evidence that actually, house shouldn't be trusted to make his own decisions about drug use, and ideally should be 'de-toxed' and probably sent to cbt or whatever. of course all of these considerations are also contextualised by the fact that house is, again, not just a patient but a doctor: his right and ability to make these types of calls for himself is, it's suggested, a result of his having attained medical education and credentials. the patients who come to be treated by him are seldom, if ever, given this same level of consideration or presumed to have sufficient self-awareness to make their own medical decisions. this isn't to say they're portrayed entirely unsympathetically, but ultimately the narrative engine of the show relies on house being the smartest guy in the room (though ofc, sometimes tragically 'held back by his addiction').

so, although there are moments on the show that genuinely transgress some of the norms of the med-drama genre, i have never agreed with people who thought that the show as a whole was presenting any sustained critique of the medical system, the treatment of chronic pain/disability, or the power-imbalanced doctor-patient relationship. ultimately all authority on house md is supposed to emanate from the physician, or the physician's superiors (cuddy as a 'check' on house, though sometimes a failed one! again because of the need to generate drama for like 140 episodes), and at its most radical the show is really only capable of presenting house himself as an out-of-control aberration whose existence strains the existing system rather than being produced by it.

this is where i think the comparison to the cop show genre becomes more clarifying. house md never made a secret of being an interpolation of the detective genre, specifically sherlock holmes. however, i'm not sure i've ever really seen writing on the show that analyses what effect this actually has on house. like police, doctors are tasked with maintaining certain social norms; the dichotomy between policing and medicine isn't even a solid line, as criminality is frequently rhetorically construed as a pathology in itself and medical authorities can and do have recourse to carceral systems in order to discipline and confine recalcitrant patients, the 'criminally insane', addicts, and so forth. (policing has historically also been understood in a more expansive sense than how we use the word today; our understanding of the medical/public health system as separate from police authority is arguably more to do with university credentialling than the actual exercise of social and political power).

so, if we want to be serious about the portrayal of medicine in popular culture (i am always serious about this) then we're necessarily talking about broader systems of power, social control, and discipline, and doubly so on a show like house that is explicitly inspired by detective fiction. this is where house md is most ideologically objectionable to me: as with the trope of the cop who breaks all the rules, house is basically positioned in one of two ways throughout the show. either he's a lone genius who alone is willing to achieve noble ends (cure) through distasteful means (breaking into patients' homes, berating them, performing risky interventions on them, &c), or—and this is rarer on house but does happen—he's portrayed as genuinely crossing an ethical line, in which case he's a kind of monstrous aberration from the normal, ethical functioning of the medical system, often represented metonymously by the objections that cuddy, wilson, or house's underlings raise. in both of these cases, as with copaganda, the function is ultimately to reinforce the idea that doctors, though occasionally capable of human error, are prima facie wiser than their patients, looking out for their patients' best interests, and performing noble social roles as healers. house, ofc, is very rarely willing to admit that he has any underlying ethical motivations, though much of the show is driven by the flashes where he is revealed to 'secretly' care about another person (often wilson) and anyway, the construction of an ethical society in which all individual actors are motivated solely by selfish interests is a very established rhetorical move for those interested in defending liberal capitalist societies (cf. charles darwin, thomas malthus, adam smith, &c).

because of television's need to generate profit via audience engagement, house md always relied on a certain level of shock or at least provocation in order to sustain itself. so, there are certain aberrations from the more overtly doctor-valorising medical dramas, like the suggestion (sometimes tongue-in-cheek) that house was better at his job when he was mildly high on opioids. this was, for the reasons outlined above, never a serious entry into political critique, but it was at least refreshing in a certain way as a departure from, eg, the portrayal of addiction and drug use that we see on grey's, which is completely limited to the medicalised AA narrative of 'recovery' as a battle against the malevolent intervention of an external chemical agent. which is to say that although house md is ultimately reactionary in the way we should expect from an american tv show, it did at least dabble in a certain level of caustic iconoclasm that allowed limited departures from the genre conventions. even with what was ultimately a pretty solid vindication of the anti-opioid narrative, the show does stand out in my mind as one of the few very popular presentations of any kind of alternative stance on chronic drug use. that it's usually put in house's own mouth means it is occasionally legitimated by his epistemological authority as a physician, though ofc ultimately this authority is challenged not through a critique of the medical system, but by presenting house as individually and aberrantly licentious, undisciplined, and insane—and his chronic pain/disability are both a justification for this, and a shorthand for conveying it.

[sooinbloom]

The Kingdom of Us

Chapter 9

pairing: kyungsoo x OFC genre: Royal!AU, nonidol!soo, crownprince!kyungsoo, romance, drama theme: arranged marriage, modern royalty, enemies to lovers, war, betrayal, smut, fluff word count: 6,019 description: shortly after Kyungsoo and Alina get married, war breaks out and causes the couple to be completely devoted on military strategy and relief efforts respective. Alina tries to break free from her mental captivity, Kyungsoo finds himself in a difficult position when it comes to protecting Alina and possible peace talks with King Daniel. warnings: mentions of abuse, mentions of war and violence, smut

author’s note: hello dear reader (: Chapter 9 is here! I AM SO SORRY that I got into a bad writer’s block slump. I’ll do my best to keep this story updated. This story has definitely been a challenge but I’m happy to share it with you. It means so much that you’re still reading! Photos are not mine. Dividers by @saradika-graphics . Enjoy!

KYUNGSOO

The day of our wedding was one I’ll never forget. That moment in the garden is so special to me, because that night was the night I truly fell in love with my wife. I wasn’t certain until that moment that it was actually love and not pure infatuation. Having her in my arms every single night made me realize I didn’t want anything else. Unfortunately, we didn’t have much time to spend together after our wedding. Father started to step back from his royal duties once the threat of war became real and the bombs started to drop. It didn’t make much of a difference, most of my adulthood I’ve been a shadow king, doing everything an active king does anyway while being chief of military. Most of my time was spent meeting with the military and counsel for strategy because Father allowed cowardice to hold him back.

Smaller towns were bombed at our borders and that took most of my attention. Before we knew it, three months had gone by and our lives were consumed with the war. Of course, Alina was the first to volunteer with medical aid and coordinating relief efforts with our allies.

What bothered me is some Seoul critics were upset she was even at the front lines helping others, and not pregnant with my heir yet. The last thing I wanted to do was bring a child into a war zone, it was senseless. They seemed to think a child would bring hope to our people, when in reality all they want is to survive, not to glorify a royal child. It also bothered me greatly that many looked at Alina and didn’t see her strength or giving heart, they only saw her as The Crown Prince’s Beauty or only a means for the Doh Dynasty to continue. Opinions change rather quickly when things don’t go exactly to plan.

Unnecessary pressure started to build up for Alina, with most of it coming from Mother and male politicians that shouldn’t have even looked in my love’s direction. Alina was so much more than what they wanted her to be, and I refused to allow these people to pressure either of us into the next phase of our love story. An heir is the least of my worries at the moment, my priority is keeping Alina alive and with me.

Azteco kept inching closer and closer to the capital and the attacks were met with greater defense. King Daniel had a goal, and he wasn’t going to see it get recognized. It baffles me that a King with a wife would start a war over a Crown Princess and building an empire. He can’t have my Princess, I’ll die before he gets his filthy hands on her.

The most I saw of Alina was at night. We’d hold each other and forget a war was going on all around us. She gave me a peace I’ve never known, a love I’ve never felt. Her nightmares were getting worse night after night. I ordered more security for her if I couldn’t be with her, including assassins. I don’t want her to worry that something will happen if I’m not around, I wanted her to feel secure. I have still seen to it that she gets training in swords, from what I hear from Commander Jongin, she’s catching on fairly quickly and is more confident. What I really want is to have our lessons start again.

I placed General Junmyeon in charge so I can step back and spend some time with Alina. Now that I finally have free time, I decided to do all of the things we missed out on during the earlier months of our marriage. The entire day was spent in the garden, stealing kisses as we walked around the palace, and sharing a meal together. The sun set on a beautiful day, Alina and I were side by side at the entrance of our chambers.

“Let me carry you inside.” I mutter lowly, hoisting Alina into my arms and cradle her close to my chest. With a small shriek, Alina wrapped her arms around my neck as I carried her past the threshold. I shut the door with my foot and carry my wife to the comfy couch in the spacious living room. I trip and land on top of her, laughing with her at my own clumsiness. “I promise that I’m usually more coordinated than this.”

“Why did you carry me inside, amorcito?” Alina giggles.

I playfully pout and gaze down, my eyes slowly meeting hers in a soft and silent plea. I sit back on the couch and wrap an arm around Alina’s shoulders. “It’s what the husband does in the movies after he marries his wife… Something I failed to do.”

Alina laughs and yawns. “There’s a war going on, and you’re acting as King of our Kingdom. You did great, it was like a movie moment that I’ll remember for the rest of my life. What is… Why do our chambers look different?”

“Look around and tell me, Darling.” I smile, and Alina jumps up to her feet. I’ve planned this moment for weeks, adding the personal touches of Valencia to our chambers will hopefully make her feel more comfortable. It was hell getting the things from Mariposa to Seoul, Lisette had to help me with most of it. I follow her and try not to laugh at her soft gasps and how she keeps covering her mouth with her hand. The wonder in her eyes was adorable, she wasn’t expecting all of the personal touches.

“Is everything to your liking?” I smile down at her, she nods and excitedly smiles back at me.

“It’s beautiful. Are these bedsheets from…”

“Mariposa? Yes.” I smile, kissing her temple. Alina yawns again and separates from me.

“You are a secret romantic, aren’t you, Crown Prince?” Alina giggles under red cheeks.

“Perhaps I’m just madly in love with my beautiful wife,” I leave kisses on her cheeks and hold her close to my chest. I hold on to this moment, I know these moments won’t last much longer and I need anything to get through the trenches of war without Alina. She yawns one more time and I chuckle softly. “Princess, am I boring you?”

“No! No, not at all. I’m just so exhausted from the hospital and working with Ally Relief.  I would love nothing more than to just be in your arms and sleep. I’ve missed you.” She says while slowly walking over to the dresser to get clothes to sleep in. She holds a silk nightgown in her hands and my eyes widen. My mind starts to race with thoughts of her, but I know I have to hold myself back. As soon as she shuts the door to the bathroom, I quickly change my clothes and get into bed. Sheets from Mariposa were much more comfortable than ones from Seoul, and all I could think about was my wife and I tangled up in them. Alina enters the room and all I want is to take that nightgown off of her and-

“Kyungsoo? Are you okay?” Alina waves her hand in front of my face. My ears warm and I nod with an embarrassed smile. If only she knew the thoughts I’ve had of her since the intimacy we shared in my library… Alina settles on the bed and gets under the sheets.

“Comfy?” I ask while turning off the lights. A soft glow filters through the windows, the moon always favors my princess. Alina nods and cuddles closer to me in between the thick blankets and soft sheets. “Good. Now rest. We’re picking up our sword training again tomorrow morning.”

“I want to sleep in tomorrow, why are you making me do it? We haven’t seen much of each other in months, and this is how you want to spend our time?” Alina whines with a pout.

“Alina, you have to learn.” I kiss her forehead. “It’s important. Perhaps if you do well, a surprise will await you.”

“Hmm… You’re just enticing me. Fine, okay.” Alina rests in my arms and drifts to sleep. I lie awake with my princess in my arms, occasionally holding her tighter when her body tenses from the nightmares.

Halfway through the night, Alina wakes up with a whimper and shaking hands. I sit up and keep her wrapped in my arms, trying to calm her anxiety.

“Kyung…”

“Shhh… It’s okay, Darling. I’m right here.” I whisper. She gazes down at her arms and touches certain spots. Curiously, she looks at me with a look of shock dilating her pupils.

“They’re gone.” She whispers.

“What’s gone?”

“The… Marks… He left…” my blood gets hotter as I sit in front of Alina, my eyes focused as my determination grows to fix this for her. “Kyungsoo… I want him erased from my memory and my body. I want to be free… I want to… I want…”

“Alina… What happened in the dream?” I ask, rubbing her arms slowly.

“He… He…,” Alina squeezes her eyes shut as a blush blooms across her beautiful face, “You and I were in this room… You were… making love to me. Then after… He came and killed you and took me… Doing horrible things to me. I had marks and cuts everywhere like before…”

“Tell me where he hurt you, Princess.” I say softly. Alina reaches for my hand and places it on her forearm. “Here?”

“Yes.” She shakes nervously. I bring her arm to my lips and press them warmly onto her skin. My lips linger and then press in on her other forearm while my eyes stay focused on her.

“Where else?”

Alina sighs and I watch the fear escape her pleading eyes. She gathers her hair behind her neck and shows me her right shoulder. She lowers her nightgown strap and reveals a faint scar. My fingertips trace the scar, and I can feel her skin warm up at my touch. A million different things run through my head as I touch her. I need to cure her of these nightmares, these worries.

“I screamed for help and got this.”

Flames of anger burst all over my body, and I shake my head and pull her close to my mouth. I nervously lean down and leave kisses along the scar. My breath escapes my lungs as my lips hover above her collarbone.

“Anywhere here, Princess?” I breathe into her neck. Alina nods slowly and brushes her hand over her neck. “Your neck?”

“Yes…” Alina’s eyes eyes fill with tears. I didn’t even want an explanation of what happened. I can’t bear it. I begin to wipe her tears slowly with my thumbs. I bury my face in her neck as I obsessively kiss her skin in small, gentle pecks. My arms tighten around Alina’s waist and my mouth stops at her ear. Her breath catches and her voice shakes as she whispers to me. “What are you… What are you doing?”

“Erasing him from you,” I whisper back. I nestle my head in the crook of her neck again and my lips graze the length of her neck. “I won’t stop until every inch of you is free of him.”

I settle Alina in my lap without breaking eye contact. Loving her in the dark is a whole new thrill, because no matter how dark the room is, I can feel her eyes on me. The only light in this room is from the moon, giving Alina her usual glow that I obsess over. I kiss my way back up to her cheek and turn her face slowly, my mouth desperately meeting hers. She presses her chest against mine but her embrace is uncertain, her hands shaking as they hold my face.

“Tell me what’s on your mind, Princess.” I say softly, breaking our connection and resort to caressing her shoulder blade.

“The feeling of… Wanting more. How it feels so wrong to want more yet I am so afraid of this. The fact that I must give you a child,” She whispers, “I don’t want to disappoint you, Kyungsoo.”

“You don’t need to be afraid of me, or this. It’s not wrong to give in to your desires, Darling. We’ll worry about a child once this war is over. I don’t want our child to be born during a time of war. They deserve a peaceful world, and you deserve a beautiful pregnancy whenever you are ready to have our child. You tell me when you’re ready, not politicians or anyone else. Is that understood?” I explain slowly and gently, caressing her face as I speak to her.

“I am relieved you are on my side,” Alina sighs. I kiss her lips and hold her closer to me, my hands find their way through her hair.

“Darling, there’s no other place I’d want to be. Do you want me to keep going? Do I have your permission to keep kissing you?” I ask. Alina nods but I shake my head. “No, Alina. I want you to tell me yes or no. Use your words.”

“Yes, Kyungsoo. Kiss me.”

I nod and press my lips on hers, sweeping her hair away to fall down her back again to expose her shoulders. I want her to enjoy this, I want her to feel like she has a say in what she wants… That I will do everything she asks of me, I’m in her hands and at her every command. I press my thumb into her shoulder and part from her mouth. “May I kiss you here?”

“Yes.”

Once her skin touches my lips, her soft moan causes euphoria to burst in my brain. I press kisses across her chest. Small groans keep escaping her mouth, she’s giving in to her wants and that’s exactly what I need her to do. Her nightgown was an obstacle in my way, I wanted so badly to rip it off of her, but I knew that would make her panic. “Alina.”

“Yeah?” She rasps.

“May I take this off?” I ask hopefully. Her hands grip my arms and she nods.

“If I can take your shirt off.” She bargains nervously.

“Yes, you can, darling.” I smirk. I slowly expose her body to my eyes. I thought it was impossible for a woman to be perfect, but here I am with perfection in my hands. She carefully pushes my shirt off of my shoulders and I turn her slowly, laying her on our bed. I hover on top of her, leaving a trail of kisses from her lips to her jaw and keep kissing my way down until I get to the base of her neck. Alina groans and slides her fingers in my hair as I lower myself to kiss her chest, slowly inching toward her stomach.

“May I take these off of you?” I whisper while caressing her thigh, my mouth lingering on her hip.

“Please, baby.” That’s all I needed. I hook my fingers inside of her underwear and pull them down and off of her hips, delighted at the sight of her dripping wet for me. It’s a feeling of pride that I can do this to her body, that it’s me that she wants.

Alina reaches up and brings my eyes to meet hers. Her thumbs softly caress my lips. I grind against that perfect spot between her legs and hips, her knees rise and enclose me into her. We entangle ourselves in each other, our kisses getting needier. I reach my hand back and graze her leg, inching closer to the top of her thigh. I squeeze her flesh and become desperate to feel her around me. Alina moans in my mouth at the friction I repeatedly create. My fingers spread past her hips and before I could feel in between her legs, I feel Alina tense in my arms. I stop, pull my hand away and look down at my princess.

"Kyungsoo… Wait..." Alina whispers nervously, her hand resting on my chest. “I didn’t like that…”

"I’ll never do it again, darling. Whatever you want me to do, I’ll do.” I assure Alina and drop to her side. I nuzzle my face into the crook of her neck.

“I don’t know what I want…” her voice trails off and I know I’m losing her to memories. I have to get her back to earth before she has an anxiety attack.

“Then we’ll find out what you like. Just look in my eyes when you get scared. I’ll take care of you with every touch, every kiss, it’ll all be for you. You’re with your husband who adores you. We’re far away from the rest of the world in this moment. We’ll only keep going if you’re ready.” I whisper softly onto her skin. Alina’s breath becomes even, and her muscles relax with each word that comes out of my mouth. It pains me that Alina was traumatized over something that was supposed to be so beautiful between the two of us. I slowly stroke Alina’s hair and hold her close to my chest. I turn her head and kiss her quivering lips. I needed to calm her, make her feel safe. Alina relaxes in my hold. She turns to me and softly smiles with her hand on my cheek.

"I’m ready."

“Are you sure, darling?”

“Yes.” Alina nods calmly. I nod and quickly grab a condom from the bedside table. Alina watches me as I rip the foil and slide it down my length, almost clumsily returning to her. I line myself up at her entrance but Alina scoots back, becoming aware of what’s about to happen.

"Kyungsoo..."

"Look in my eyes, darling. It's me. It’s only me.” I soften my gaze. “I’ll go slow, baby. May I keep going?”

Alina nods and I capture her in a slow burning kiss. I whisper lowly, “Mmmm, Alina. Use your words. I want to hear your gorgeous voice.”

“Y-Y-Yes, Kyungsoo. Keep going.” Alina stutters back.

I slowly enter her, cradling her close enough to brush my nose against hers. My hands stay planted on either side of her head and her fingers grip my shoulders tightly. I hang my head, mesmerized by how she feels around me. I watch as her body reacts to me being inside of her. For a moment I admire her heavenly, beautiful face. “You feel heavenly, princess.”

I slowly bury myself deeper into her, taking my time to drown in her walls, wanting to satisfy her every craving. Show her that this is meant to feel good, that her wants matter. My mouth wanders her neck and chest, leaving deep purple marks that bloom on her skin like flowers. Her melodic moans bounce off of the walls and they’re such a pleasant gift to my ears. Every move I make causes shivers through Alina’s body. I watch her eyes roll then focus again. "Kyungsoo... Kyung… Kyung..."

“Good girl, you’re doing so well.” I praise. I can see the switch go off in Alina’s head as the words leave my mouth and she tightens around my length. I’ve always said this to her, but now it felt different. It was less innocent and more sensual. We’re lost in a kiss and Alina surprises me by wrapping her legs around me. She steadies herself and grips the headboard, I sit back and gaze up at her. Her gaze is blown with need, with desire.

“I want to… Keep feeling this…” she shivers as I keep guiding her back and forth.

“That’s it, princess. Do what makes you feel good. Take control of me.” I huff as she rolls her hips and grips onto my shoulders. I rest my hands on her waist, she doesn’t need any guidance anymore, just reassurance.

I’m entranced by Alina and how she grinds her hips on top of me. Her hands are pressed at the junction of my chest and shoulders, her fingernails indenting my skin. The look of pure ecstasy on her face engrains itself into my memory, she’s so beautiful when she’s feeling every single ounce of pleasure. I shutter at my building climax but want Alina to feel hers first.

I pull Alina down to kiss me and feel her walls tighten around me. I moan in her mouth, causing her to move faster and grip me tighter. Alina shakes with satisfaction as she grabs my arms, groaning louder and louder in my mouth. I chase this high; it gets closer and closer until we freeze, I hold Alina in my arms as we climax together. I open my eyes and watch her orgasm, relief and satisfaction overtake me knowing I didn’t hurt her. We catch our breath, and she reaches down toward me. Our lips entangle together and I willingly lose myself in her.  

"I made love to you, amorcito." Alina whispers. I slide out of her and kiss her cheek. 

"Yes, you did,” I nod, "You did so well, darling. How do you feel? Were you comfortable?"

“I feel good… I… I didn’t know I could… Do that,” She shyly admits, “I… loved that.”

I smirk and pulls her in for another kiss, I can’t get enough of her kisses. “My darling, you simply are my perfection. My reverie. I could indulge in you all night. I’ve said it before, you possess an intoxicating beauty… You’re perfect. You deserve every single ounce of pleasure that you felt tonight… And I’ll gladly give it to you whenever you crave it.”

“That… Sounds perfect.” Alina’s body shivers in my embrace. I’ve never been so willing to only focus on a woman’s pleasure before this. Of course, I had no complaints, but all I wanted was to make my wife feel good, to feel desired, that she had the control and not me. Not once have I enslaved myself to a woman and whatever she wanted, Alina really did wield a power of changing me and keeping me in the palm of her hands.

I get her up from bed, guiding her to the bathroom. I quickly slide the condom off, toss it in the garbage and turn my focus back to Alina. I start the shower for Alina to clean up and I prepare new clothes for her. She had the bedsheet wrapped around her still, sleepily smiling at me. I check the temperature of the water and nod to myself, bringing Alina closer to the opening. I gaze at her and she slowly removes the sheet from her body. Alina takes my arm and pulls me in the shower with her, resting me against the wall.

“Stay with me,” she pleads, a smile lifting the corners of her mouth. I push her under the water and it hits her body, my hands cascade her outline. I take her body wash from the shelf and grab a soft cloth.

“I’m right here, princess.” I whisper. I wet the cloth and clean up the mess we made between her legs. She groans under the water and goosebumps arise on her skin at my touch. After I finish, I take another cloth and lather her body wash on it, rubbing her skin with the soap bubbles sliding down her back. I place her under the water and wash the bubbles away, Alina smiles at me and wraps her arms around my shoulders. “Thank you for being so patient with me.”

I nod and hold my wife, sighing. “Anything for you, my princess.”

The next morning was like a fog. Alina woke me with kisses, the sweetest way to wake up. It didn’t take long to get tangled up in each other, which in turn made us late for her sword drills. I didn’t mind, she wanted to make love, so we did. Twice. Seeing Alina let down her guard with me was a victory. I wanted to stay in bed with her all day, but we had to make sure she was ready for anything. Once we got out of bed in the afternoon and got dressed, we went to the training grounds together. I watched Alina confidently take the sword into her hand and smile sweetly at me.

“I think you need a challenge, darling.” I smirk.

“Give me all you got, Crown Prince.” Alina smirks back.

“Let's see what Commander Jongin taught you.” I quickly step forward, but Alina pushes me back with her hand, so I turn and our swords clash. We spar back and forth and her skill impresses me. I shouldn’t be surprised but watching her has me in awe. I have more confidence that she could hold her own if she ever needed to. We keep training and she starts to tire me out.

“Yes, that’s it!” I shout over the clashing of our swords. Alina was getting quite good at her swordsmanship. She was now able to defend and attack much quicker and is light on her feet. She holds the sword over her head and stops me from swinging my blade downward at her. I relieve the pressure and we return to a neutral stance. “Now, don’t lower your guard. Because I can easily…”

I knock her sword out of her hand. Alina scrambles and attempts to retrieve it, but I kick it out of the way. I reach for Alina and pull her in front of me. She gazes back at me, the look in her eye tells me she’s concluding that she’s done for. “Kyungsoo, this is impossible. If this ever happens, I will certainly die!”

“No, you won’t. Remember, study me. Where are my weaknesses?” I order, seriously overtaking my voice. “Look beyond your fear, you are in control of this situation even if your opponent tries to make you believe otherwise.”

Alina nods and the wheels start turning more as she studies me. Suddenly, she reaches down and grips onto my wrist. She turns and pulls me to the ground, my sword clanking onto the ground next to me. My Princess straddles me and holds my hands above my head with an accomplished yet devious smile. With wide eyes I look up at her, clearly entranced at how fast she’s picked up her skills. I also couldn’t help but desire her, loving how she felt on top of me.

“You catch on quick,” I huff, smiling. “We’ll end it here for today. Let’s get dinner.”

“Sounds perfect for such a victory.” Alina grins, sliding off of me and helping me to stand.

I still can’t believe she’s mine.

Alina appeared in the doorway of the kitchen with a curious look on her face. I turn to fully view her and almost drop my knife. Her sun kissed skin was glowing in a light blue dress, the short sleeves hugging off of her shoulders with a lace up chest. The dress fell down to her calves, the bodice showed off her curves in all of the right places. Alina’s hair was loose and flowing down her back in its natural curls… My God. I did my best to hide my physical reaction to her with hot cheeks, looking down and focusing on chopping vegetables while monitoring what’s frying on the stove.

“What are you up to, my dear husband?” She asks sweetly, leaning onto the door frame. I try to focus on anything else other than her right now. Her body. Her voice. I quickly finish the vegetables and plop them into a bowl next to the stove.

“Making us dinner, darling.” I manage to croak out. I look up and Alina is laughing to herself.

“I didn’t think a Crown Prince would like to cook,” She comments, “So it’s true, you’re secretly a chef.”

“It’s no secret.” I laugh. Alina sits across from me at the counter, her chin in the palm of her hands.

“Tell me what got you into cooking. I had heard the rumors, but what is the truth? Did you really sneak into the kitchen as a child and beg the cooking staff to teach you?”

I laugh at this rumor, shaking my head. “That is definitely not how it happened. I was about ten years old. My grandfather was in his garden, picking vegetables. He lived so simply once he handed my father the throne, I enjoyed spending my time with him. He’d said to me, Kyungsoo my boy, come with me to the kitchen. I’m going to teach you another art that the Doh men have passed down for generations. I was curious and wondered what he meant by that. He then spent every weekend showing me how to prepare traditional foods, and most foods from other kingdoms. We did this until he passed away. My fondest memories are with him, and I have him to thank for my cooking passion.”

Alina tilted her head with a smile. “Our grandparents had such an impact on us, didn’t they?”

“They did, yeah.” I agree. Alina gazes at me, her eyes softening when she fixates onto me.

“I only met your grandfather once, when I was five. He was so nice to me. I remember that he gave me candies when my parents weren’t looking.” Alina giggles. “You have his smile.”

“He would have loved you now, princess.” I nod. I lean over the counter and leave a kiss on her forehead, then leave another on her plump lips. I turn back to the stove and finish cooking our meal and turn the stove off, mindlessly making my way to Alina. I hold her close from behind and caress her arms. Alina cuddles close to me and I’m enjoying the closeness we share. I shiver at my darkening thoughts, attempting to regain my composure. Alina turned in my embrace and pecked my lips. “Now go, get settled. Let’s enjoy our time together, darling.”

I watch Alina walk away and focus back on the task at hand. I plate our meal and walk carefully to our living room. I enter into the room with a plate full of carefully crafted Valencian foods that I made by hand. I can tell that the aroma welcomed Alina with nostalgic arms. I carefully put the plate down on the table and sat next to Alina, watching her face light up at the familiar foods in front of her. Beef empanada with freshly chopped lettuce and tomato with lime waft into Alina’s senses, her smile is so big that I know I got my plan just right.

"How did you know this was my favorite, Kyungsoo?" Alina asks with wide eyes. "You made all of this for me?"

"I know a few things. I know Queen Mother made them for you when you were a child." I reply while picking up an empanada. I feed it to my wife, and she sighs with happiness. “How is it, close to Queen Mother’s?”

“Mmm,” Alina nods, swallowing. “She’d kill you if she heard you call her that. She was Beatriz unless she said otherwise.”

“I met her once, and only once. She cared a lot about you, Alina. She was also very terrifying.”

“Abuelita? No way.” Alina giggles. “I need to hear about this. What did you do?”

“Ah, so I had to have done something?” I chuckle, feeding Alina the last half of the empanada. I lean back and start to tell my somewhat terrifying story. “I was nineteen. Queen- Excuse me, Beatriz, came to visit Seoul and to visit with my parents. She didn’t care about anything else but me the entire time she was here. She spent all of her time with me, asking me questions, interrogating me almost. I’ll never forget what she told me to this day. She said although she thought the betrothal was absurd, out of all of her granddaughters, you were the best option for me. That if I didn’t cherish you, protect your heart and love you, she’d kill me or find a way to get me killed.”

“Huh, such good advice and you didn’t follow it until three weeks before our wedding.” Alina giggles, feeding me an empanada. “You obviously weren’t that scared of her.”

“In my defense I was nineteen and stupid. I hadn’t met you yet. I found myself thinking of Beatriz’s words, and she was right. I can’t be cold to you. All I want is to give you the most beautiful memories. I want you to enjoy this life. Enjoy it with me."

“I can do that.” Alina agrees, smiling.

As we eat, I listen to Alina’s stories of Beatriz and her childhood in the Valencia palace. I noticed when Alina was telling a story, she’d use her hands to help her describe something in it. She giggled as she talked, her eyes looked as though she was reliving the memories in her mind. I could get lost in this moment and stay in it forever if it meant that her eyes would be this bright all of the time. She’s adorable when she’s so animated and comfortable like this. 

"... And I learned that day that deer weren't pets but woodland creatures that belonged in the forest." Alina chuckles. “When this war is over, I want you to see the Mariposa castle, I have so many fond memories there.”

“I’d love to see it.” I smile, leaning against the couch to gaze at Alina. Suddenly, my phone rings. Annoyed, I take it out of my pocket and read the caller ID. General Junmeyon? He only calls if it’s an emergency. “My apologies, darling. I have to take this.”

“It’s alright, I understand. I’ll be reading in the library if you’d like to join me.” Alina smiles, giving me a quick kiss and heads out of the door. A dread fills fills me. Something was wrong, but I couldn’t quite place it. I walk into my study and shut the door behind me.

“General, this better be good or…”

“Your Highness, we have a major threat to security to the Crown Princess. King Daniel and the Azteco Military Generals are en route to Seoul for peace talks with King Bonhwa. He did not inform us until this evening. At your word, we’ll get extra military security.” General Junmyeon instructs, my heart drops. Alina can’t even have a happy moment in her life without this asshole trying to ruin it for her. I’ll be damned if I let that happen.

“What the hell is my father doing? Now he wants to involve himself in this war? I accept your advisory. Please detail extra security. Have all maids and personnel out of the wing.  No one goes in or out unless approved by me. I want guards and coast guard patrolling 24/7. Send me Lieutenants Jongdae and Sehun. I need my best trained assassins to protect the Crown Princess. Is that understood?” I growl into the phone.

“Yes, Your Highness, right away.” I hang up the phone and pace the room. I have to be calm for her and explain everything so she won’t have a breakdown when she sees Daniel again. What is his motive? Why is he wanting to come here to settle peace talks so quickly? Something isn’t adding up. Is this all a plan to get Alina? Should I hide her? Frustrated, I shove all of the piles of paperwork off of my desk and onto the floor. Why can’t Alina just have a peaceful life? She doesn’t deserve any of this. I groan and leave the study and head to the library. As soon as I walk in, I find Alina asleep on the couch, a book resting on her chest. She must be exhausted from the day, and part of me is relieved she’s asleep. I don’t want to ruin her brief moment of happiness. She doesn’t deserve it. I’ll just have to figure out what to do about this tomorrow.

All I can hope for is that Alina won’t feel like I blindsided her with this.

[stormyoceans]

it's not my preferred method of dealing with the conflict but im not as mad at it as i feared i might be with an ep 11 ending. it at the very least isn't going to sour the series for me (most likely, we still have to give ep 12 her chance obvs) and i understand most of the thought process.

BUT i understand you not feeling it so i'm here with a distraction. now that jimmysea are the it-girl of the month and i think we can assume them getting a new series has a good likely hood: what type of show would you most like to see them tackle?

personally i'd love to see them in a period piece. i just think they have the longing down so perfectly and their outfits in ep 8 were a true inspiration on many fronts. OR something supernatural since we're giving those away in 2024 anyway.

more important than genre tho is sea being allowed to be the overtly flirty one and jimmy to be the shy one this time around :))

thank you for being so understanding, anon!!!!!

idk if the separation is necessary a deal breaker for me, i guess it depends a lot on how the last episode is gonna go and if once again my fears are gonna come true, but right now i don't feel the best about it and i really do appreciate you taking the time to reassure me and provide a distraction!!!!!!

I HAVE SO MANY KIND OF SHOWS I WANT TO SEE JIMMYSEA STAR IN THO IT'S SO HARD TO PICK ONLY ONE GENRE!!!!!!! part of me really wants that teacher x single parent romcom to happen because i NEED to see more of them with kids, but at the same time i would love to have them play in something more challenging and completely different like a thriller. im kinda obsessed with the idea of jimmy being the witness of a murder and having to be put under protection until the trial and sea being one of the police officer assigned to keep him safe OR something like the fugitive with sea being framed for a murder he did not commit and managing to escape while being taken to prison and jimmy being one of the correction officers who was on the bus and who ends up being taken 'hostage' by sea but eventually helps him prove his innocence

but also i would LOVE an historical setting for them because like you said they are SOOOO GOOD at longing and pining and restraint and subtle touches that carry so much weight and i need more of that too!!!!!! also the medical drama of my dreams!!!!!! or a good horror!!!!!! JUST GIVE THEM 100 SERIES FR SO THEY CAN EXPLORE ALL TYPES OF PLOT AND GENRE!!!!!!!!!

so yeah, tl;dr: if i had to pick i think i would go for a thriller as their next series, but im honestly fine with anything as long as they do get one. ALSO THERE ARE NO WORDS TO PROPERLY EXPRESS JUST HOW MUCH I AGREE ABOUT SEA BEING THE FLIRTY ONE JUST LET HIM FLUSTER JIMMY TO NO END PLEASE HE'S SO GOOD AT IT

[stuffnonsenseandotherthings]

Watch It Or Drop It Challenge - Drama 3

Having successfully wrapped up my first watch of the challenge (and rather unceremoniously had my first drop of the challenge too), there's no time like the present to move on to the next drama on the list! I'm back at work this week which means stress levels are high and time feels scarce so I'm really hoping I get something that doesn't ask too much of me but which is engaging and fast paced enough to break through the "first week back" haze of tiredness and brain fog.

So, without further ado, let's spin the wheel and see what I get!

👨‍⚕️ Triage

Country: Thailand

Episodes: 13

Genres: BL, Thriller, Romance, Medical, Fantasy

Director: Aum Natthaphong Aroonnet

Screenwriter: Thanamat Talerngsuk, Duangsamon Thaokumlue

Summary: Third-year emergency medicine resident Tin has to cope with a deluge of different patients every day. Up until the eighteenth, that is. Tin's life is transformed when university student Tol's car is overturned, and he's rushed to the emergency room in serious condition. That night doesn't end when Tin fails to save Tol's life, though. When Tin next wakes, he finds himself in a time loop, a loop he won't be able to leave until he's altered Tol's fate.

Why It's On My Plan to Watch This:

So I watched Manner of Death a few months ago (at least I think it was a few months ago, my sense of time is not the best) and pretty much fell head over heels for it, so head over heals in fact that I wrote it (+ the few other QL dramas featuring older protagonists) a little appreciation post proclaiming my love. There's just something relatable (and also just quite nice in a media landscape that often promotes "forever love" as something purely within the realm of teens and early 20-somethings) about getting to watch 2 grown adults find each other and fit together all while navigating the challenges of being a working adult.

Anyway, safe to say Manner of Death secured a special place in my heart and, once I'd finished, I immediately found myself looking for similar dramas and Tumblr, boy did you deliver.

There were quite a few recommendations (most of which were added alongside Triage to my PTWL) but by far the most recommended was Triage itself, which made even more sense when I saw that it had the same director as MOD. Interest piqued, I went to have a look at it on MDL, read the summary, added it to my Plan To Watch List and then, full of excitement and joy and vim.... proceeded to successfully not watch it.

Yeah I kinda messed up there.

Prediction

Well, I did enjoy the director's previous work, I like hospital dramas quite a bit (*moves the shrine to Hospital Playlist out of frame*), it's got an older working lead which so far has been nothing but a plus, and, to add to all this, quite a few people have recommended it to me so..... I'm pretty sure this is right up my alley! True, I'm a little bit apprehensive about the Groundhog Day premise (it has historically introduced so slightly dodgy character/relationship dynamics that I'm not a fan of and there's always a risk that the drama will literally lose the plot) but you know what, I'm going to trust my gut and I'm going to trust the people and I'm going to watch it.

[the-tzarina-alexandra-paracosm]

Vote based on the design AND the backstory

Glenda

(The 5 Books of the Immortals - 2015-2016)

Role: supporting character

Also an immigrant and also a volunteer to the war, her motivations being a mix of actual concern and sense of justice, but also to prove herself in some way. Forms deep friendships with the main characters. She works as a spy at some point.

Vs

Alexe

(The Imm 1 - 2013)

Role: Protagonist

She and brother have to work in the mines, but her dream is to become a Knight and fight for the king. She and her brother join forces to fight the villains anyway, and their acts of heroism are indeed rewarded with the long awaited title.

Additional info

The 5 Books of the Immortals - 2015-2016

Status: completed (Romanian, typed)

Form: novel

Genre: war story, drama

Lev is a very bright chemistry student. He has the time of his life in college, making close friendships (and meeting the love of his life, Alyona), but the fairy tale is cut short with the announcement of WW2. He goes to war, but Alyona, how his wife, volunteers to join the war, just to stay with him (she's now a medic, being a medicine graduate). Lev's best friend is Zephyr, an uptight straight A student who learned to loosen up thanks to him.

The found family vibes are strong with this one. At some point they find a teen boy who was pretending to be 18 and they all but adopt him. The story has many very dramatic and heart wrenching moments, but also many heartwarming moments. For example, at the end, the boy is finally reunited with his father. It's not a very mature or that logical of a story, but it's my first "masterpiece", and I still find it very beautiful, especially the characters (they all love each other so much!!!).

(I changed the names and details for the purpose of this poll because there were some things that were just plain inaccurate or just that I changed after having finished the novel).

Vs

The Imm 1 - 2013

Status: incomplete

Form: short story

Genre: fantasy, adventure

Alexe and her brother Dan are working in the mines and one day an opportunity to become knights arises, which Alexe in particular is very excited about. The two prove their worth to the king and eventually earn their places among his guards.

[queer-and-dear-books]

Title: All That’s Left In The World

Author: Erik J. Brown

Genre: YA Fiction | Drama | Romance | Friendship | Sci-Fi | Post-Apocalypse | LGBTQ+

Content Warnings: Homophobia | Racism

Overall Rating: 9.9/10

Personal Opinion: My experience with post-apocalyptic stories is limited but I love this book. The quick wit humor and sarcasm of Andrew and the genuine goodness of Jamison is a heartwarming formula and a winning combination. Andrew is also a genuinely good person and Jamie has his moments of funny too so it’s hard not to root for these boys as they traverse the post-apocalyptic landscape of their world after a disease wiped out most of humanity. Now, if you read to escape, this may not be the right book for you. But otherwise, I definitely highly recommend it.

Do I Own This Book? Nope.

Spoilers Below For My Likes & Dislikes:

Likes:

- The slow burn of Andrew’s and Jamison’s love was truly exquisite. I could see just how badly they had it for each other but I also understand why they were both hesitant to act on their feelings. Andrew thought Jamie was straight. And Jamie thought that too. He was just learning about his sexuality while falling for Andrew and it was beautifully done. I could feel his uncertainty, his apprehension with whether or not those feelings were real. It’s so authentic to the queer experience because I know a lot of bi people that figure it out later in life like he does. Hell, I know gay people that go through it. Compulsory heterosexuality is a hell of a mindset. Anyway, I just love how open-minded Jamie was about himself and how much he wanted to be a guy that Andrew deserved. Likewise, I love how Andrew saw Jamie as this genuinely good person and wanted the best for him as well.

- I need to talk about the epilogue. No names were used at all so it could’ve been in either Jamie’s or Andrew’s POV. The two of them both have their own guilt and trauma so it’s possible for it to be either of them. So it’s basically up to the reader to decide who is doing the comforting and who needs the comfort. I think that is so clever and well-done. The fact that it could be either boy’s POV but they still maintain such distinctive voices is incredible. 

- Henri is a boss babe. In her 70s just chilling by herself and chasing off wild animals and eating rabbit every night, such a badass. And such a good person too. She took in two strangers without hesitation and gave them food to eat and a place to sleep. I respect her so much and I love her advice to them to trust people. 

- A detail that I really love is how, from the beginning, we are introduced to Andrew’s love of movies. The way he describes films to Jamie is so adorable and I love how into it Jamie is every time. It’s such a cute detail and I love it. 

- Cara is amazing too. I mean, she saved their lives when they were caught by the Fort Caroliners! She could’ve just run away, never looked back but instead she stayed and she used the gun to fight back.

- Jamie’s mom is a fantastic woman too. Because of her, her son is always prepared for the worst. She taught him how to survive, how to thrive. She got mad on the behalf of a Black kid who had the police called on him for existing. She knew how to hunt, she filled a notebook with medical know-how, and she sang a song about how Jamie couldn’t get everything he wanted while he cried in a parking lot. Even though she was never there physically in the book, she was there. We felt her impact, her presence in Jamie. He carries on her legacy and I feel proud of him for that.

- I can’t believe I’m saying this but bless be Florida. That  community of people saved Jamie’s life and welcomed three strangers into their safe haven when they were not obligated to. They obviously care about one another as human beings and they’re a progressive settlement too. They don’t turn people away or “dispose” of them for arbitrary reasons. It's a low bar but the fact that they pass it after Fort Caroline is amazing. I know that Andrew and Jamie feel like they don’t belong because they’ve murdered people but I hope they do stay and live long happy lives together.

- When Amy invited them into their home and she cried over her mother being alive, I also cried. I felt overjoyed for her. And when she introduced us to her baby, also named Henri, I just felt so much elation.

- The tension surrounding Jamie’s fate was gripping. I knew he lived because I sort of skipped ahead and saw he had the last chapter before the epilogue but I was still so worried for him. I think, when an author is able to invoke that much emotion from me, they’re doing something right. Because I was practically pleading with the universe for Jamie to be alright. 

- Andrew’s reaction to killing the Fosters and even Jamie’s reaction to killing Harvey and Walt are warranted. If anything it proves that they’re good people. Taking a life is a big deal. It doesn’t matter that they are living in the post-apocalypse. They are not monsters.

- Andrew’s humor really broke up the tense moments throughout the story. He’s a quick wit and his morbid sarcasm really worked with the setting. 

- Their first kiss was mesmerizing to me. I was just thinking “How are they going to get out of this?” and then Jamie confessed his feelings to Andrew by kissing him and I was melting into a puddle of goo. Because I could feel the pages and pages of romantic tension coming to a head in that moment and it felt so good.

Dislikes:

- Fuck Fort Caroline but specifically Danny and Harvey Rosewood. A whole settlement with zero POC and a questionnaire clearly weeding out people that are queer? Not to mention the Stepford Wives vibe of it all? I shudder. I cannot. I want to puke. I’m actually glad Harvey is dead. Fuck him and his dad.

- The only reason this does not get a perfect score is because I fear for Chris and his siblings. What happens if Fort Caroline gets to them before they get to Chicago? Is there even anywhere safe in Chicago? Maybe Florida will pick them up in their sailboats but all I know is, I do not like the fact that Fort Caroline is expanding their territory and that means they’ll reach Chris and his siblings eventually if they continue to stay put.

- Honestly, I just loathe Fort Caroline so much. I don’t think I can emphasize it enough. But the unfortunate thing is that I can see it happening in real life if the world fell apart. White supremacy is unfortunately alive and well. I use fiction to escape though and I would rather Fort Caroline just collapse in on itself.

[wonunuu]

still loving you ∞

prologue

synopsis: as jeonghan waits for his singing career to grow, he gets impatient and angry for the lack of recognition he has been receiving. along with his frustration came his drinking habit. with you already juggling medical school and trying to make some money for the two of you, can you still handle the weight added on by your boyfriend?

genre: angst, romance, drama

pairing: actor!jeonghan x fem!reader

word count: 1.5k+

profiles | m.list | next

a/n: hey everyone!! i’m actually camping rn so if responses are a lil slow, it’s cos i have no wifi or making cotton candies for little children. but i hope you all have a good week and stay safe!! 💓

send an ask or fill out the form to be tagged!

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

“I’m almost there. Just wait for a little more.” You half scream to a very impatient Seungkwan rushing you from the other line before hanging up your phone and shoving it into your purse. Right now, you are sitting in the back seat of a cab heading to the airport where the rest of your friends are waiting for you. 

To your disappointment, you weren’t going for a vacation in Maldives where you dream of basking under the sun as you dig your feet into the pearly white sand, and a cold refreshing fruit drink in your hand—nope definitely not. Instead, you were going there to wave Chan, your history freak best friend, good-bye before he leaves for his expenditure to Egypt where he will be staying indefinitely.  Of course you were sad to see him off, and it made you sadder that you don’t know when you’ll see him again. His passion for history was undeniably strong that he even chose to become an archeologist (hence the Egypt dream destination). You found his love for the subject to be incredible and very admirable. With that being said, you’ve decided to be a supportive friend and be there to celebrate and see him off as he leaves to start a new chapter in his life. 

This isn’t the first time you’ve all had to say good-bye to a friend. In fact, this is the third time and you desperately hope it’s the last because god knows how much more you can withstand seeing your friends leave. A lot has happened in the past four years. At least to your friends.

Minghao and Mingyu left the country. Minghao went back to China to study martial arts, but also because he was homesick. You all saw this coming as you’ve all witnessed his never ending facetimes with his mother. Like yeah, it’s sweet and all that they have a close relationship, but it’d be sweeter if their calls didn’t last until two in the morning. Mingyu is in Paris, France because he is now a supermodel, as surprising as it may sound but it isn't because, wow, the man is fine. Anyway, he now walks on runways in his expensive clothes alongside other famous models whom you could care less about. But you are very happy that he’s become successful. 

After graduation, Joshua landed a job at SM publishing company as a book editor, editing countless manuscripts all day. He worked there for his co-op placement in his third year of undergrad school. Apparently they were very impressed with his work and offered him a position as soon as he graduated. 

Seungkwan is now a civil rights lawyer with his own law firm—which is very impressive as he literally just graduated law school last year. Him being a lawyer didn’t surprise you though, seeing how much loved to argue his point and what he believed in until he was proven correct—which he says he knew from the very start. This aspect of him makes him one of the best in the field, and that is totally not your biased opinion. 

Wonwoo is now a striving film editor. Since he was a philosophy major, hearing that he was gonna go into film was shocking news to you. But after looking at some of his works, you admit he does have talent in the field. Directors are practically on their knees begging him to be in their editing team. Who would’ve thought that the man who used to eat dog treats would make it this far.

Seungcheol opened up a club with performers, but you weren’t going to question that. The man was a business major, and so if this is what he learned and if this is how he wants to run his business, then it’s whatever. Afterall, it is his business, literally. Besides, he said he’s happy about it and that it gives him lots of money, and therefore, you should be happy for him too. 

Vernon? He’s stuck in medical school with you. But boy you were relieved this year will be your last before starting your internship. That is if you pass the board exams. Vernon has been busting his ass studying and preparing for this huge exam because it’s probably the biggest exam a medical student ever does in their entire life. He spends at least thirty hours a week at the library, his face stuffed between piles and piles of medical textbooks, and taking notes until his hand gets numb. 

He can’t say the same for you though. There is not a day where he rings your phone to ask how many hours you spent today for committed studying. You would get a long sigh and a fat scolding when your answer is three hours or less, which is the case often. 

As a medical student you’d expect reading textbooks, doing research and taking notes to take up three quarters of your day. But your life is not at all how you pictured it to be. You work two shifts at the cafe you’ve worked at for four years; one in the morning and one in the evening. Though studying while working isn’t exactly forbidden by your boss, it’s not a good idea since the two shifts you work for happens to be when the cafe is the busiest. 

Anyway, you do this because you need money to provide for yourself and your boyfriend who lives with you. Speaking of, after your graduation, Jeonghan has decided to pursue a singing career, and although it may have been an impulsive decision that was made on a random day as he chats with his friends, you were quite surprised to see that it’s not as bad as you thought it’d be? Question mark because your friends would say otherwise.

Your friends, specifically Seungkwan, would say it’s worse than you had expected. But Jeonghan was trying his best, and that’s all that mattered. You believe that one day he will get noticed and will achieve his dreams, and you wanted to be beside him for it. To be beside him all the way through. But as of now, he is trying his very best. 

Sometimes he would get calls from bars or restaurants to do a little show, and when he does, you also go with him, even if that means missing a shift at the cafe or sacrificing your study time to watch your boyfriend’s gig. He doesn’t make much from them, which is why you work  so you can have money to buy groceries, to pay the bills and to pay rent of your shared apartment. But you didn’t mind, not a single bit. You wanted to be supportive towards your boyfriend, and you’re happy seeing that he is doing what he likes. Nope, you didn’t mind at all. 

“That’ll be twenty seven bucks and forty three cents.” The driver informs you of the fee. You take out your wallet and take out a twenty dollar bill and a five dollar bill. You unzip the little pocket where you store your coins to get the remaining change, but you took in a gasp when you saw the pocket was empty. 

“I’m so sorry, it seems as though I only have twenty five bucks at the moment.” You apologize as you look at him through the rear-view mirror of his car. He said it was fine, you thank him and apologize again before leaving the car. 

As you pass through the airport doors, you see each of your friends giving Chan a hug. You sprint to where they were, and fortunately, you make it right on time. 

“Took you long enough,” Seungkwan mumbles with his arms crossed to his chest as you passed by him. The others, Wonwoo, Seungcheol, Vernon and Joshua all greet you with relieved smiles etched on their faces. 

You wrap Chan in a warm hug, your chin resting on his shoulder and the scent which you will miss like crazy fills your nose. He hugs you back, “Glad you made it!” 

“Of course I’d make it,” you say as you pull away. 

Chan glances behind you as if he was looking for something. “Jeonghan didn’t come with you?” 

“Probably drunk at their apartment,” Seungkwan mumbles as he stares into the airport ceilings. The rest of the guys shoot him a death glare, and Vernon tells him to shut his air hole. 

“Sorry,” you look at him apologetically, “he had a gig last night. He’s really tired, but he wishes you good luck.” You lied. Seungwan was right, well sort of. Jeonghan was in fact at your apartment with a hangover. You didn’t want to admit it because if you do, Chan might miss his flight because instead of getting on board, he would first scold you, then drive to your apartment to have a not so gentle talk with your boyfriend. So you kept your mouth shut.

“Flight 2342 to Cairo, Egypt now boarding,” the PA calls.

It was forty minutes before his flight so he needed to board the plane. You all collectively wave him a goodbye and wish him a good life there. He pulls his suitcase behind him and walks away, occasionally glancing back.

“Have fun! Stay safe!” Vernon shouts. Seungkwan follows with, “Call us when you get there!” 

“If you dig up a hot mummy, tell it to hit me up!” You smack Wonwoo’s arms, and he laughs, amused by his inappropriate comment. But Chan gives him a thumbs up, causing all of you to burst out in laughter. 

∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞∞

🏷: @shuajeong @sunflowergyeomie @ofcoursewhynottt @yoonzinow @sydneyy-jade @softforqiankun @sbnchaos @hanniewife @k-min9yu @1800zuho @boogyuu @moonlit-willow @haoareudoin @lealea203 @love-svt @hoerangdan @serenadesvt @anissanightyoung @pimpnameyannie @yyxyzti @gothhyucks @gottsegne @cheonsahannie @peekabooseoksoon @tobereadbyme @gothiccguk @dancingddays @cherryskles @isa499 @cassiopeia1104 @geminirules @kwonsyoungs @stonyiscanon @monstathedisco @wang-nicholas @beomiebear5 @itsdnguyenxoxo @chwlogy

unable to tag: @yypiggi @tobio-oo @abcdefghijae

[otptings]

Insomnia

-Idol ~ Kun

-Genre ~ Sick Fic, Smut, Fluff

-Warnings ~ insomnia, lack of appetite & weight loss, pillow princess by force, oral (f receiving), passionate fucking, dry humping? (she's half naked but he's fully dressed), daddy kink, rough sex, choking, degradation,

-Word Count ~ 2.9k+

-Synopsis ~ Sleeping never comes easy to. You've tried everything from exercising, to warm milk. Maybe the one thing you've been missing is some late night loving?

-A/n ~ loosely inspired by sky Insomnia, the rose insomnia, and dreamcatcher sleep-walking. best to listen to any of those songs as you read it, might help set the mood even though those are all break up songs lmfao. I also have my ko-fi link in my bio help raise more money to help me buy essentials for my emotional support animal, I cannot work at the minute because of my treatment for type 1 bipolar disorder, and door dash doesn't allow me to save up abundantly enough, if you could even only share it I would greatly appreciate it. anyway hope you enjoy this and thank you for reading

Sleep and you have always had a complicated relationship. Fighting sleep as a kid, climbing out of your bed after your parents tucked you in, playing with your toys until you passed out among us. At sleepovers you were always the one who stayed up all night, too excited to actually get tired.

As a teenager spending nights before school desperately trying to finish homework, staying up until the early morning hours, quickly taking a shower before running to the bus. If you had no assignments your crush at the time would distract you, joking and blushing until it was time to leave for school, bags under your eyes prominent, but the loss of sleep was worth it.

Now the only thing you wanted was to sleep.

Insomnia took over your life. Staying up sometimes days at a time, struggling to calm your racing thoughts that were determined to keep you up at night. They won most nights. Laying in your bed, struggling to get comfortable or staring up at the ceiling, willing sleep to overtake you. Even with the medication from the doctor you struggled to get more than 3 hours a night.

You tried other remedies too. Drinking warm milk with cinnamon and vanilla, the warm concoction soothing but never tiring you out. Exercising before bed that truly made you feel amazing but never worked to tire you out, only forcing you to feel the soreness in your body as you laid in bed. No electronics before bed helped you finish multiple books series that you had wanted to start but never had time for, but didn't work.

Everything you tried was in vain. Sleep continued to evade you, and it only took a higher toll on your physical body.

Your appetite started to lessen, your weight slowly declined. The bags under your eyes only got deeper and darker. Concerns about your physical state came form your friends, their worries growing as you continued to get worst and worst. It came to a peak when you almost passed out at an outing, shaky from the constant stream of caffeine that you were consuming in order to function properly, your eyes fluttering close as you collapsed into their arms. Concern was properly covering their face, and they rushed you to the hospital, you were too weak to even try and decline them.

At the hospital they gave you strict instructions to stay home and rest, with someone watching you over to make sure that you were properly taken care of. Along with instructions you got even stronger medication, 20 mgs stronger than what you were currently taking.

Kun being the thoughtful person he is offered to watch you while you were on bedrest. He was the best candidate out of your friends, the others practically pushing you to accept him.

Kun has been the best assistant? nurse? friend that you could ask for. Constantly at your beck and call making sure that you were drinking plenty of water, cooking you fresh homemade meals, and making sure your medication was taken on time. Along with that he also did the awkward task of helping you to the bathroom, since you were still shaky and weak at times.

He did this all without complaint, catering to you everyday and making sure that you were cared for. Sometimes when he wasn't busy with his own work he would sit and watch a drama with you, or just engage in conversation telling you about his day, and the funny things he did and heard.

Having him helping you 24/7 for 2 weeks straight, had caused some unwelcome feelings. Your friends weren't surprised at that, having been part of the reason why they suggested he did it, knowing your past feelings for him. With only a week left of your bedrest you were saddened at the thought that he was leaving, going back to only talking to him once or twice a week whenever the friend group hung out.

Kun had actually been the one who surprised you. Seeing that you were still up one night, thoughts of him running through your mind when he entered your room. Upon seeing you awake he sat on your bed, holding your hand as you asked what's up. You weren't truthful. Who would be truthful in that scenario? 'Hey actually I was up thinking about my crush on you and the desire that I constantly have to kiss you."

You were positive that wouldn't have gone through well.

Kun rubbed your hand soothingly, listening patiently to you as you lied about what you were thinking about, fake worries and complaints about going back to work. Offering you advice was always Kun's strong suit so you were ready for some good advice despite your lies.

That's what got you in this peculiar position.

Lip tucked tightly between your teeth, the taste of copper on your tongue. One hand grasping at the pillow behind you squeezing it tightly between your fingers, the other intertwined with dark blue hair as you tried not to pull too hard.

Kun thought the best thing to clear your mind was sex, and who were you to deny his generous offer.

You felt your hips jerking as tongue pressed his tongue against your hole, shallowly fucking into you. His free hand rubbed up your thigh, the sensation combining with him eating you out causing your mind to start to go blurry. His hand continued to glide up, before pressing down on your hips, forcing them down on the bed.

Without the ability to move you could only lie there as he continued to tongue fuck you. The fire in your stomach increasing, and Kun seemed to know it as he kissed your clit before sucking on it aggressively, causing your first orgasm to rip through your body.

Kun continued his ministrations, licking up your cum causing the fire to come back threefold. Kun sucked on your clit, flicking his tongue over it as you wriggled from the sensitivity. He seemed to be made for this, the way his tongue knew the perfect ways to fuck you open, and he hadn't even involved his fingers or cock yet.

Pulling away from your cunt you saw your juices covering Kun's mouth leaking down his chin. His hair was sticking every which way how you were messing, and pulling on it. Kun looked like all of your wet dreams had happened to come through.

"So pretty." A laugh let his mouth, a smiling spreading over his lips.

"Wish you could see yourself," Kun slid his hand up and down your thigh, rubbing it soothingly, "You're gorgeous. I've been wanting to do this for so long."

Kun changed the positions so that you were on top, straddling his thighs. You could feel his cock straining against his jeans, rubbing over your oversensitive clit in the best way possible. A whimper left your mouth as you started to rock on him, but Kun stilled your hips. His hand slid to your chin, rubbing his thumb along the side of your jaw.

"Can I kiss you?" You didn't bother answering, meeting him halfway. His chapped lips moved against your own as if you've done it before, there was a familiarity to it that made you wrap your arms around his neck pulling him flush against your chest. Sliding his hands up and down your body, lips moving in sync against yours. You nipped at his lip, causing a loud groan to leave his mouth as he opened it for you. Sliding your tongue into his mouth you reveled in the feeling of him taking dominance. His hands gripping your ass tightly, his tongue roughly dancing with yours.

You pulled away, placing your hips on his shoulders as you continued to grind against him. Another groan leaving his mouth as he moved you against him, forcing you to press down harder and faster against him.

"God baby." He leaned back as he looked at you, admiring the way you moved against him, needy and wanting to cum again. "You're so need baby. Who's got you like this hm?" You dropped your head back, continuing to rock your hips against his. Kun felt his cock twitching in his pants at the sight, grabbing the back of your neck and pulling you close to him, placing kisses along your neck and collarbones.

"Kun I need you." You tried to sound strict but it came breathy, a moan following it as he kisses over your jugular, nipping at it before listening to your 'command'. Flipping you over he gave you a peck, before pulling away to take off his clothes. You decided to join him stripping out of your shirt and throwing it across the room.

Kun crawled back over you, but he stopped just taking the time to stare at you.

"I need to say this before. I'm not just fucking you because of your insomnia, I'm not just fucking you to fuck you." Kun intertwined your fingers, "I really like you. I don't want this to just not mean anything to you, when I really like you. Even thought we're doing this backward I hope you can at least think of going on a date with me." You felt your face heat up, and the familiar feeling of fluttering in your stomach at his confession. Placing your hand on his cheek you leaned up, placing a quick kiss on his lips.

"I like you too Kun. More than I can put words to." A big smile spread across his face as he leaned down, showering your face with kisses. "But if you don't put your dick in me right now, you might not ever get that date." A laugh left his mouth as he placed one last kiss against your check, before grabbing the base of his cock and rubbing it up and down your cunt. Collecting some of your juices over his tips he looked down as he pressed into you, muttering a fuck at the sight of you taking him in so well. You threw your head back feeling the fuzziness come back, feeling how well he slid into you.

When Kun bottomed out he placed your still intertwined hands on the pillow beside you, his other hand sliding back to your hip.

"Fuck you feel so good." He growled as he waited for you to adjust, feeling your tight walls practically sucking him in.

"Please move. Please I need you." Kun placed a gentle kiss on your pouty lips before pulling. Thrusting back into you he set a slow pace, being gentle with you not forgetting that you were still on bed rest. Your other arm wrapped around his neck, pulling you closer to him. Feeling skin against skin as he continued to slowly fuck you, enjoying the feeling of him being close to you.

It was more intimate than it should've been, being the first time that you two were having sex but with Kun it felt right. This was more love making than casual fucking and you wouldn't have it any other way. The coil in your stomach started to tighten, Kun's groans helping greatly to push you towards the edge, but the pace he had set wasn't doing it for you.

"Kun." He slowed down, hearing the desperation in your voice and not wanting to hurt you.

"Yes baby? Am I hurting you?" You could hear the slight panic in his voice and shook your head, before meeting his eyes.

"Faster please. I need you rougher." Kun pushed your hair back, before cupping your cheek.

"Are you sure? I don't want to hurt you, you were just hospitalized."

"Please fuck me harder. I need you to ruin me daddy." At your words Kun's eyes darkened and without warning he thrust into you hard, causing a punched out moan to leave your mouth.

The mood changed just the way you needed it to, instead of being slow love sex Kun was fucking you. Hips meeting during every perfectly timed thrust, hitting deep within you as the sound of his balls smacking against your ass filled the room. He let go of your hand, instead opting to grab your waist and pulled you to meet him halfway on every thrust.

Ceaseless moans leaving your lips at the feeling of him fucking into you so beautifully, filling every inch of you. Opening your eyes that hadn't even realized had closed you were met by the sight of Kun, sweat glistening over his abs and dripping down his face. His hair plastered to his forehead, as he bit his lip harshly trying to hold back his groans. Your neighbors should really thank him for having some self control.

Kun slowed down as he lifted your legs up, pushing them towards your chest, folding you in half as he continued his rough pace. This new position causing you to feel him in your chest, the feeling of fullness completely overtaking you as you orgasmed for the second time. He fucked you through your orgasm, the tingly feeling spreading towards your hips as overstimulation set in. Even though his cock was dragging against your walls beautifully, blunt tip pressing into your g spot it started to get painful.

The feeling of it being too much, but not enough at the same time. Tears welling up in your eyes, as Kun pressed against your legs pushing them back further and forcing his cock impossibly deeper.

"F-fuck daddy please." You didn't even know what you were begging for anyway, him effectively fucking you dumb, his hands gripping your thighs tightly to the point where you knew you'd have bruises the next day.

"So tight around me, your pussy is sucking me in even after two orgasms? What's wrong baby? Two isn't enough, you need me to milk another one out of you?" You couldn't respond to him, only listened to him as he spoke, groans leaving his mouth harmonizing with your moans almost.

"Poor baby is fucked dumb," A cruel laugh left his mouth as he stuffed two fingers into your mouth. You sucked on his fingers, twirling your tongue around them. "Can't even speak, only babble and suck on my fingers huh? Lucky you're so cute. You liked being called dumb huh? Can feel the way you're pussy clenched around me? Must be close again." You could only let out a muted moan, Kun's fingers still pressed against your tongue, gagging you effectively.

Pulling his fingers out of your mouth he slid his hand around your throat, tapping his too soaked fingers on the side of your neck.

"So close baby. So. fucking. close." Punctuating his words with an extra hard thrust in between you had lost the ability to think, his hand gently around your neck, more like an accessory but just at the thought of him choking you felt yourself drooling, his thrusts still reaching that spot inside of you that was so deep it'd never been touched before.

As if hearing your thoughts, Kun's hand tightened around your throat, pressing you against the mattress. You came at that moment, Kun's tip hitting your g spot perfectly. Your eyes rolled back as you felt like you had exploded, all of your energy draining out of you with your third orgasm of the night.

At the feeling of you clenching around him so tightly, practically holding you in place Kun pulled out and quickly jerked himself off, cumming over your lower stomach. Kun marveled at the sight of you laid out below him, lips swollen from biting them, hair frizzy from rubbing against the pillow, his white cum painting your stomach, a light red mark around your neck from his hand.

Kun let you sit for a couple minutes before carrying you to the bathroom for a well needed shower. Setting you on the toilet, he let you pee while he started the warm. When you were finished and the water was warm enough Kun helped you into the shower, letting you lean against him as he started to clean the cum from your body.

"Are you okay?" You looked up at Kun, basking in the feeling of the warm water running down your body as Kun rubbed the soapy loofa over your body.

"Never felt better." A crooked smile spread across your face, too tired to even continue the conversation. Kun kissed you on your temple , seemingly sensing it and helped you rinse out. After getting you redressed and back into your bed with clean sheets, Kun went to go to the living room until you grabbed his arm.

"Can you stay?" Even after having sex Kun was still nervous to sleep in the bed with you, but he obliged hearing your soft, sleepy voice. Climbing into bed with you he pulled you into his chest, wrapping his arms around you.

"Thank you." Kun hummed, the vibration spreading through his chest and making you giggle.

"For?"

"Taking care of me." Kun placed another kiss on your head.

"You don't have to thank me. I wanted to care for you. Now get some sleep." Cuddling further into Kun, the beat of his heart along with the rise and fall of his chest lulled you to sleep.

For the first time in years, you slept like a baby.

[londonalozzy]

Don’t Tell Bucky 1/2

Fandom: Marvel

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Genre: Romance, Comedy, Drama

Summary: The reader arrives home one night after drowning her sorrows, thinking she doesn't stand a chance with the guy she loves most, Bucky Barnes. She is so out of it that she ends up revealing all of her feelings to the first person she sees. The man himself.

Masterlist

I've been teased my whole adult life about what an old fashioned, hopeless romantic I am.

Yes, I'm an Avenger. Yes, I can kick ass when the occasion arises. But the rest of the time, the usual place to find me, is curled up on the couch with my head buried in a Jane Austen novel.

A couple of years ago someone came into my life that I thought was the key to it all. He was destined to be the Darcy to my Elizabeth, the Edward to my Elinor, the Mr Knightly to my Emma. Oh, how wrong I was!

When Steve first brought Bucky to Avengers HQ it was like a modern day version of when Bingley introduced Mr Darcy to the people of Meryton at the ball in Pride and Prejudice.

He was the archetype of the aloof romantic hero. Tall, dark, handsome, brooding and quiet. He kept himself to himself, observed everyone with eyes of an eagle, and only spoke when spoken to. I was well and truly hooked.

As weeks turned into months, Bucky and I came to an understanding, a friendship that only got more complicated as time went on. After everything he had been through, it was hard for him to open up to people, to let his guard down. What he did yearn for though, was companionship, someone to sit beside, someone to just be there if and when he needed them. I became that person for him.

Every time I decided to sit silently with a book in hand, it wouldn't be long before I had a certain super soldier at my side, just embracing the company, not having to worry about putting on a show for people he didn't feel comfortable with.

The complication in our relationship came when I realised how much I had come to depend on him being there for me.

My aching for him first made itself known when he started going out on missions that I wasn't apart of, when he went on all day training sessions away with the guys, and whole nights out when his confidence finally got a boost. I missed him. I missed him with every fiber of my being.

"So, I'm guessing you've heard the latest gossip on Barnes?" Nat asked me one morning over breakfast, her eyes not leaving her plate of blueberry pancakes as she spoke.

"Gossip? What are you talking about?" Any news on what Bucky was up to was music to my ears. I'd barely seen him these last few weeks, and it was seriously messing me up in more ways than I'd like to admit.

"You mean he's not told you? You? Princess Y/N?"

To say Nat was surprised by my ignorance was an understatement. This must be something big if she is shocked about it. When did it change to others knowing more about Bucky than I did? I thought we were best friends. He calls me Princess for Christ's sake.

"Maybe you should ask him yourself," Nat suggested, reaching across the table and rubbing my forearm. "I just assumed he would have told you first."

Now I'm seriously freaking out. "Nat, please just tell me what the hell is going on."

"You know Theresa down in medical?" Oh, shit. I've got a bad feeling about this.

"Yeah. What about her?"

"They're dating." Oh no!

It felt like my heart had leapt into my throat. I couldn't think, never mind know what to respond with. I knew it would happen eventually. I knew he'd end up with someone. I just assumed it would me. How stupid could I be?

"Y/N, you need to tell him how you feel." Why does Nat always have to be so good at this observation stuff?

"I don't know what you're talking about," I choked with a traitor tear in my eye, and a jump up from my chair when I suddenly felt the need to escape.

Nat followed me down the hall to my room, putting herself in front of me as I tried to change into my running gear. I had to get out of there. "You can't pretend this isn't happening Y/N. This is Bucky we're talking about. Your Bucky. You'll regret it if you don't tell him."

"Yeah, well I'll regret it a hell of a lot more if I do tell him and then lose him completely."

Nat grabbed my arms, stopping me in my tracks. She was one of my closest friends for a reason. She knew what made me tick, what scared me, what mattered the most to me. It's just not a risk I can take though.

"If you don't talk to him, all of this will get bottled up inside and it will ruin your friendship anyway. Y/N you need to get this out."

She was right. This was Nat. She was always right. My head and heart couldn't handle all of this new information. I didn't know how to deal with it, how to react.

So much for that epic romance I thought I was destined for. Looks like, for me, I'm only meant to be the friend, the side character in someone else's love story. I'm Eponine and not Cosette.

Deciding to lay off of me for the rest of the day, Nat rounded up Wanda and a few others and we headed out for a few drinks. Well, what started out as a few drinks anyway.

By the early morning I had at least 10 too many tequila shots in my bloodstream, partnered with a sore throat from overly emotional karaoke renditions of some of the best known heartbreak songs. I was a mess. A mess that could barely remember her own name.

"Are you drunk?" A random voice echoed through the hall as I stumbled around, trying and failing to get into what I hoped was my room at 2am.

"Why would you think that?" I replied to the swaying figure as they moved closer to steady my feet.

"Probably because you're trying to unlock your bedroom door with a lip stick. Plus the fact that the door doesn't have a lock on it anyway. What's up?"

Ignoring the nosy stranger, and giving up on getting into my room because the handle kept moving all over the place, I went in search of the nearest soft thing I could find to park myself on. Standing up was over rated anyway.

"You don't normally drink like this Princess," the randomer observed, leaning over me as I started making rug angels on the shag pile in the common room.

Why is this guy talking like he knows me? Who the hell does he think he is calling me that? "I've just got a lot on my mind. And don't Princess me. Only Bucky gets to call me that."

"Noted," the randomer laughed with a shake of the head, then joining me by laying at my side.

Staring at the ceiling as the silence engulfed us, I decided to confide in this handsome newbie. "If I tell you something, can you promise you won't tell anybody?"

"I promise," he responded without hesitation.

"I mean it, nobody can know. Especially Bucky. He can never find out." I pulled him into a sitting position and put my hands on either side of his face, trying to stress how important it was that he keeps this to himself. He really was pretty.

"I swear, Bucky will hear none of this from me."

"Ok. Here goes," I jumped up, frantic all of a sudden. "I want him to break up with his girlfriend, and it's seriously stressing me out."

"Why would you want him to do that? She's a nice girl isn't she?," pretty boy questioned in confusion, getting to his feet as well. Why did he care so much? Where the heck did he come from anyway? I swear, if this is one of Tony's robo experiments again I'm gonna flip.

"I'm sure they're perfect for each other," I groaned. "I just know that I don't want him with her. At first I had no idea why. He's one of my closest friends. I should want him to be happy right?"

"Of course," Mr Blue eyes confirmed with a furrowed brow and by gripping onto my now clammy hands.

"Then I started thinking about it. Why was I feeling like this? Why was it bothering me so much? I realised, it wasn't just this one girl I have a problem with. It's all girls. All except one."

"Who?"

"Me."

"Wait? What?" He bellowed, leaping backwards and pacing the floor. "You want m...I mean Bucky to go out with you?"

"Yeah. I mean, I think so."

"Y/N, you can't just come out with something like that and respond with I think so," he screeched out in loud exasperation, so much so that I burst into flood of tears.

"Why are you shouting at me?" This guy is such a meanie.

When he saw how upset I was he immediately calmed down, placing his palms on my face and wiping the salty drops away. "Y/N please don't cry. This is just a lot to process."

It took me a while to calm myself down, hiccups escaping my lips as the crying finally subsided. Slowly, the angel man, stranger, person, thing walked me over to the couch and sat us both down. His eyes were boring into me, beautiful azure pools that looked slightly familiar. Maybe it was those bath bombs Steve keeps buying from Lush. I don't know.

"Why do you even care about all this? It's not like you know him or something?" I enquired, now looking at anything other than in those beautiful bath fizzer eyes.

"Just try to explain to me what's going on in that crazy little head of yours," he pressed.

Oh well. I may as well carry on now I've started.

"I've been with the Avengers for a long time. They're my family, my home. And don't get me wrong, I know they care about me, love me even. It's just easy to be sidelined, you know? To become an after thought when you're part of something so big. Bucky changed that. When I met him, it was like everything shifted. He became the reason I smiled every day, why I looked forward to getting out of bed. For the first time in my life I felt like I was at the top of someone's priority list."

"So are all of these feelings because you think you're gonna lose that? You think you're gonna lose him? I swear to you it won't happen." If it only it were that easy.

"I wish it was that," the tears building up once more as I eventually decided to look at him properly. "It would make all of this way less complicated."

"What is it then?," he pressed in urgency.

"Isn't it obvious? I'm head over heels in love with the guy."

[yutahoes]

Mono no Aware

(Part Four)

Intro - One - Two - Three - Four

Mono No Aware, ‘the pathos of things’, a melancholic appreciation of the transiency of existence. That fleeting moment when you realized that something you love is bound to  disappear. Like life.

pairing : grim reaper! Yuta Nakamoto x female doctor! Reader

chapter word count : 1k words

chapter genre : angst 

chapter warning : mention of death, mention of blood, cursing

author’s note: I’m sorry for some medical inconsistencies. The medical practices are just something that I just researched in the internet or watched in snippets of medical dramas. Special thanks to @mel-yjh​ for answering my medical related questions. 

The moment Y/N entered the hospital doors, she immediately tied her hair in a ponytail. Doyoung is waiting for her with a clipboard at hand. "Sorry. I know it's your day off but the patient doesn't want a male surgeon." He said while walking to the elevators. "And all the other female surgeons are unavailable at the moment." 

"What happened? Is she scared of guys?" 

Doyoung nodded. "A trauma in guys. She was sexually assaulted. We didn't know so the head doctor gave her to me." He explained that made her nod. "It's an easy surgery. You'll do well." 

And that's the assurance she needed right now. 

Once the elevator doors opened, a female nurse was running to them. "Doc. Doc. The patient…" Y/N had to look at Doyoung before running to the emergency room. 

The machine was already beeping signaling that her vitals are unstable. The whirring sound of suction can be heard, she's losing a lot of blood already. This is bad. They should have waited before doing a surgery. Doyoung was right, it is a simple surgery at first but the risks now are really bad. She needed to do something. 

She cannot let this patient die in her hands once again. 

Y/N isn't that smart, that was Doyoung. But she listens attentively in class and even does her best to learn about things that aren't taught to them. She thinks that was the attribute that convinced the head doctor to accept her in this hospital. 

She did her best to save the patient. Desperate to not add blood on her hands. "Doc, the vitals are already stable." She breathed hard in relief. 

She's safe. She's fine. You did it, Y/N. She kept saying to herself. The assurance she badly needed right now.

The patient is fine but the frightened feeling didn't leave her. She's so scared that something bad will happen. What if another complication happens? What if the surgery isn't as successful as she thought it was? What if she dies in her hands again? 

A chilling breeze passed her, sending goosebumps along her body. What is this she's feeling right now? When she looked up from the floor, she saw a man standing at the doors of the emergency room. The guy at the coffee shop. Ambulance guy. But wait, no one is allowed to enter this room. 

"What are you doing here? Only medical…"

"You can see me?" There was confusion both in his voice and expression. She nodded at the question. "You can really see me?" He asked once again then glanced at the watch on his wrist. 

His actions were odd. Why does he keep saying that? He's human. Of course, she can see him. "Doc." One of the nurses from the surgery called. "I thought you're leaving." She said that made her nod, staring at the man who was just looking at the two of them. "What are you looking at?" 

She can't see him? 

Y/N shook her head. "I'm leaving. Thank you for today. Great job." 

Is she crazy? She's seeing things that others cannot see? 

"Follow me." The man said. This is bad. She might be really crazy. But why is she even following him? 

Even if they were passing a lot of people, no one seemed to notice him. Whereas, some of them gave her a greeting or a smile. 

Is he really invisible? Is she the only one who can see him? 

And why are they suddenly on the rooftop? All alone? "Can you really see me?" 

"Can you stop asking that question?" She whispered. "What are you? Are you a ghost?" The man shook his head. "Maybe a figment of my imagination? Am I crazy?" 

"You're not." 

"You're scaring me." 

"I'm not here for you." Not here for her? What does he mean? He's here for someone else? Why? "Ahn Minjoo." He mumbled while staring at his watch. "Her pin is gone." 

Ahn Minjoo? Her patient earlier? "She's safe. She finished surgery." 

"You saved her?" Y/N nodded that made the guy sigh. "She's supposed to die." 

What the hell is this guy saying? Anger was bubbling inside her. "There are some complications but she's safe now. She won't die." How dare he say that her patient will die? "Ahjussi, who the hell are you?"

He shook his head. "Nevermind." He whispered then turned his back to her. "There's no soul to claim anyways." A soul to claim? What exactly is this guy? 

She still has a lot of questions. And before he could leave, Y/N held his wrist to stop him. A strong wind blew when their skin touched and she felt her head throbbed that instant. 

Her skin felt warm yet so cold. She could smell the faint scent of blood and hear metals scratching against each other, her vision blurred as a person held her in his arms. "Please save yourself," she whispered as her vision turned black. 

"Y/N," Doyoung called when she opened her eyes. "Are you alright?" She nodded, sitting up from the bed. 

She knew this place, even coming here a lot of times before. But why is she in a hospital room? "What happened?" 

The male doctor felt her forehead with the back of his hand. "You passed out outside the emergency room, Ms. Jang found you." She passed out? Outside the emergency room? "You didn't tell me you're sick. You have a high fever yet you have done surgery. That's amazing Y/N." 

"Is she safe?" 

Doyoung nodded. "She's fine. She's in recovery now."

She nodded. "I'm glad she's fine."

"Take some rest. You can call the nurses if you want anything." She giggled at that, arguing that she's not a patient. "You're not. But I don't want death to come to you, Y/N. So take care of yourself." Doyoung closed the lights and gently closed the door that left her alone. 

She felt a sharp pain in her head as a silhouette of a guy's back flashed on her mind. 

Death. 

In the form of a man. 

Five

Next chapter will be longer, I promise. I’ve only written until chapter six, I think. And so far, the story is becoming really frustrating (I’m so bad in slow burn stories 😣) Feedbacks are highly welcomed. Please do tell me what you think although the story isn’t even progressing well. 😂 

taglist : @readers-posts @ailoveyuta @aiforyuu @ytzvivi @mel-yjh @shiningstar-byulxx @cosmiclatte28 @kyuwoyo​ (please send me a dm, a comment, or an ask if you want to be tagged)

[slashingdisneypasta]

Hi! If you don't mind could you write me some headcanons about being bff with some female cp's? Like Jane, Nina, Clockwork, Nurse Ann...?

One of my best friends is called one of these names so it was odd to write XD Some headcanon’s were totally true about her as well, and some definitely were n o t. XD

Anyway I’m not sure how comprehensive this is since I just kinda spewed it all out so, uh… I hope you like them! 😅

~~~

Clockwork:

·         Natalie stays at your house all the time and eats all your food. Girl has a FAST metabolism so you cannot tell, but she eats e v e r y t h i n g.

·         She doesn’t even have a key to your home, you just come home from everyday activities and she’s slumped in your couch cushions watching TV and there’s a pool on your bathroom floor from her shower and- oh, she has also ordered pizza so get your wallet out.

·         You just squint/glare at her before flopping on the couch beside her. She hands you the remote and gets comfier by you.

·         Even when you have a romantic interest over, she is there at your house, comfortable on the couch playing games on your phone as you walk your ‘friend’ to your room.

·         It’s not all frustrating though, she’s always there to protect you. There have been multiple burglaries that she has intercepted and ‘taken care of’. She’s honestly like a guard dog who also has an excellent sense of humour.

·         And don’t think she just wants you around for your apartment and money. Nay nayyyyyy nay. She tells you all about the Creepypasta drama and what’s going on at the mansion, even though you aren’t apart of that life.

·         And she calls when she’s away. Just calls up to talk to you.

·         You two are the kind of friends that don’t need to talk to each other all the time. In fact, you agree that talking to people all the time is annoying and too much trouble, and you could totally go without each other for days (Weeks even) if either of you were busy! But… without either of you even realising, you always end up contacting each other in one way or another every day, anyway. Its easy with you two. No romantic relationship could compare.

·         She was the groom and you were the bride in your make-believe weddings and mums and dads games as kids.

·         On Toby: “Okay Nat, I like Toby but I hope you know, if he hurts you… well there is absolutely nothing I can do to wreak revenge on your behalf, as he is a duo hatchet wielding psychopath, except maybe give him a stink eye. … When he is looking away and therefore cannot see the stink eye.”

·         More on the Toby subject: Clockwork once took you to Slender Mansion (Cuz you were targeted by a botched victim of hers because she cares about you and she wanted you close by to keep you safe until she could, like, finish killing the guy and all. Whatever though, no biggie. Pft, At least that’s how she made it out to be.) and she had to leave you for a moment so she handcuffed you and Toby together because he’s the only one she could trust to watch you.

·         It was very awkward for the two of you, but definitely a bonding experience. You were both very happy to see Clocky come back though.

·         HORROR. The world of horror is your favourite genre together. Supernatural horror, slashers, basement dwellers, vampires, werewolves, the blob, stalkers, murderers, psychological horror, black and white, colour, movies, tv shows, books- whatever. You two get so excited to experience new fictional horror.

Jane The Killer:

·         If you’re into boys, let me tell you right away- Jane is very critical of their actions. She was at a very influential time in her life (Especially concerning boys and girls and romance) when she met Jeff and Liu. She met those boys, thought ‘Oh, they’re cute. Maybe budding crush?’, and then Jeff killed her family, burnt down her home and ruined her life and Liu became an asshole, and now the male species has been, sorta… tainted. She knows there are good ones (In fact, m a n y boys are lovely, of course.), but one’s that you’re in romantic cahoots with are always going to be under her very watchful eye anyway so she doesn’t really bother to hold back her fear (Which translates into dislike… or hate) with them. So if you have boy problems, be careful. Provided you like this/these guy/s, at least. If you don’t like them, then she’s the perfect person to go to!

·         If you are a boy, then- of course, none of this applies to you. She loves you. Don’t worry. You’re her best friend!

·         Girls are an entirely different situation though of course. Jane drinks that love women juice every single day.

·         Jane is really good with altering clothes, so she’s the one you go to when you need help hemming something or taking something in. She likes to do it, too. Quality best friend time while not being lazy.

·         Speaking of her hating to be lazy… This does not apply at night. Nighttime is a whole other ballgame. Its bedtime by 7 for her if you don’t lock her into plans a week in advance. If she is braless and in her P.J’s, you will not be able to peel her from her home. Except for snacks, but even if she goes to the grocery store, she’s not getting changed and she’s going to wear her bunny slippers.

·         You two watch so many cartoons together. Gravity Falls, Star Vs The Forces of Evil, Over The Garden Hedge, Villainous, Looney Tunes, Ducktales, etc. Any and all that you can get your hands on.

·         You two are prepared to get platonically married, for any reason. Like, you need to stay in the country? Married; You’re staying. You’re the only one who can testify against hr in the court of law? Married, so by law you don’t have to. One of you accidentally planted yourselves with a kid and (Cuz you’re ride or die for each other, obviously), you’re gonna parent the child together and cuz of religious beliefs one of your would feel better about raising them together with a wedding band? Married.

·         Jane doesn’t drink, so when/if you get drunk she’s always there to keep you safe.

·         Jane also gets friend-jealous, a lot. Like, that bitch just called you her best friend, Y/N. Is she your best friend? I thought I was. So who is it, Y/N? Me or her? HM? (She is prepared to turn up to wherever you and this person are hanging, all glamorous and cool as she is, and show off. Prove she’s a way better friend then this new person so they back off).

·         When you were little, she was the bride and you were the groom in your wedding/marriage/mums and dads games.

Nina The Killer:

·         You have known her for both your entire lives and there have been iffy, and dark times but through hell and high water you have stuck with her. You love her. She’s your girl, you are her person too. You will be with her, and protect her from anything.

·         You are the only one in the world that loves her, really. You may not quite understand her weirdness, but you stick with her anyway because you love her.

·         Just like- baseline of your friendship is being ride or die for each other.

·         You were also really into Jeff, but at a more… healthy? Level? Like, you were still romantically interested in a real-life murderer, but you wouldn’t have done anything about it. You wouldn’t hurt anyone (Except to protect others) or victim blame, or contact the victims (Dear God) or whatever, but you would take peaks at fanfiction and gab with Nina about it. I mean, it’s not grand, but in comparison to Nina, hah… you were harmless.

·         Now though, that you’ve met him and he is the reason your bets friend is so hurt and broken, you are not the fondest of him. I mean, you still have a place in your heart for the version of him you and Nina made up in your heads (The version that Nina still believes is real) but that isn’t the real him. Jeff Woods is an ass. You need to keep your friend safe from him.

·         And uh… so nowadays… occasionally, you will find out where Jeff is (You keep an ear out) and, you know, just… lie your ass off to Nina. Yep. You tell her you heard that he’s in the opposite direction than he is so that she’ll unknowingly put more distance between him and her.

·         Yes. It’s a lie, but… its for the greater good! It’s for Nina’s mental health and physical safety.

·         Anyway, moving on to lighter things.

·         In your make believe mums and dads/’grown up’ games that you would play together as kids, you were a single parent and she was the dog.

·         She will lie for you in an instant. She’s also really good at it.

·         You walked into a room once and saw she was drawing something, and it turned out to be your joint tombstone. She has not let this go- you will be buried in the same plot together, if it is the last thing she does. This is slightly concerning, but… also kind of cute. You can roll with it.

·         “What if I get married or have kids?”

·         “They will need to apply with me to join. There will be an interview process.”

·         ‘What about pets?”

·         “Oh, they can come in! No fee!”

·         Do not underestimate her weight. If she doesn’t want you to leave, she will hold onto your leg and go deadweight, and you will s t r u g g l e.

·         Nina talks to herself, but she acts like the person she’s talking to is another person, inside her mind. You both know its not, but you refer to the other girl as Agnes anyway. Super casual.

·         Follows you when you go on dates (At least the first one with someone)to make sure all goes well and texts you rapid fire when she smells something fishy. Even the smallest thing.

·         You two really love dystopian teen fiction. Divergent? Matched? Hunger Games? Maze Runner? Ugles? Alllllll. You consume them and then watch the movies/tv shows too.

Nurse Ann:

·         Live-in medical services! This means you can get really cheap life insurance and not worry about it to much.

·         And on the topic of insurance… Ann is super smart, and organised, and just really awesome at practical stuff like that. Insurance, bills, mortgages, any kind of forms and receipts. And she’s happy to sit down and help you go through it- and, as we all know, everything is better when it’s with a friend you feel comfortable with.

·         You can tell Ann anything and she’ll just roll with it. No judgment. Either she takes it and lets you talk about it or she just acknowledges it and moves on.

·         Like Jane, Ann has very little patience for boy problems. In fact, she has zero time for it. Boys? Girls? No thank you. So if you’re into boys, I have some bad news for you.

·         Best friend maintenance. Occasionally, Ann will over work herself (with murder) and you will need to guide her to relaxation. Gently persuade her to sit down at the dinner table and just make idle chit chat with her every now and then as you make her a good, hearty meal (Or as good as you can do XD Anything between Beefy stew and a Cheese toastie will work fine, don’t worry. She’s not picky at all), and then watch some movies with her. No phones, no knitting, no drawing, no… whatever. No other activities except TV watching! She needs to rest. I’m always shocked at how relaxing just sitting and watching TV can be. There’s a big difference between doing that and multitasking.

·         Ann will call you to pretend there’s an emergency if you want to get out of social engagement.

·         A thing that two enjoy together is science fiction. Star Trek (Including the animation), The War of Worlds, the world of Star Wars, Dune, a Handmaids Tail, The 100, Eureka, etc. She loves the brainy stuff.

·         Ann is the logical friend, who tries to give the most practical advice and make pros and con lists and everything. And then you go ahead and do the crazy thing, the thing she said definitely would not work and would probably make things worse, and she just face palms and says she’s never getting mixed up in your mess again. … Until the next time, when she totally does.

·         “I love you Y/N, but I am not about to walk into a police office and bail you out of jail so do not do that.”

·         You trap her into resting by painting her nails (Hands and feet) in her sleep right before her alarm is about to go off so she has to take the morning SLOW or the paint will mess up. She just wakes up, you hold up a sign in front of her face that says ‘NAILS’ and she stops immediately. “You bitch.”

·         As kids, of course, the two of you would play make-believe family games and you were both mums (/ or you were the dad). She was the working mum and you were forced to stay home take care the baby (large container of vitamins with a face drawn on).

[huearmy]

The Smell of Truth - V

Summary: After years being forced to fight in clandestine hybrid ring, Jungkook is now living in shelter, but life remains bad, the place is abusive, and nobody seems to want adopt him. Until one night a pro-hybrid activist group invades the shelter, and a woman in black smelling like truth promises that things will get better, and he decides to follow her wherever she goes.

Pairing: pitbull!Jungkook x human!Reader

Genre: fluff, angst, future smut maybe.

Words: 6971

Rating: NC-17

Warnings: None.

Chapter I  Chapter II  Chapter III  Chapter IV - Chapter VI ChapterVII

The four of you walked a few blocks to a restaurant on the same street. Despite the cold air, the sun was warm and pleasant, so Jimin really wanted to sit at one of the outdoor tables, and nobody objected. You and the cat were still talking about work, Taehyung making comments here and there, but Jungkook only walked in silence beside you, holding your hand, happy he was finally having some contact with you. He wasn't even paying attention to the conversation until he sitted down at the table but you didn't.

"We're gonna order and pay. It won't take long." You told him. "Do you want anything specific?"

"Cake?" He softly smiled.

"I'll buy you a big slice. I'll be back." You said already going.

"Ok!"

Only then he noticed that he didn't stay alone. Jimin was sitting by his side, eyeing him sharply, vertical pupils almost disappearing, he was analyzing Jungkook. It is not the first time that another hybrid looks at him like that, and whenever that happened in the past, uncomfortable things happened next. Jungkook sat back in his chair trying to create space between them.

"So..." Jimin purred, dropping his chin in the palm of his hand. "How did you end up as Y/N's roommate?"

"I asked!" Jungkook spitted out. "I told her I want to be with her... I-I don't know why she wanted me neither... I..."

Jungkook kind of choked on his own saliva. So far Jimin seemed to be just cute, but of course away from you, he was going to try to establish some dominance over the new hybrid. Jungkook should have imagined this was going to happen. Even so, the cold tone that came from the other caught him off guard.

"Y/N have always liked hybrids... But not that much." In the absence of an answer, Jimin continued. Clear jealousy in his voice. "What did you do to make her let you in?"

Jimin gave an unbelieving laugh, tapping Jungkook's shoulder.

"It's okay! No need to be so nervous. I'm sorry I scared you." He said not in full cute mode yet. "I just really care about Y/N... She is my favorite human besides Taehyung. So until I get to know you for real, I'll keep an eye on you. For Y/N sake."

Jungkook gave Jimin his doe eyes and nervous bite bottom lip, and the cat had to work hard not to drop hard stare away and end up losing the threatening effect.

"Ok." Jungkook said with conviction "I will do my best to have you trust me."

Jungkook got bright red again, for real. One thing is you calling him cute, another completely different thing is a strange calling him cute. He formulated something to say to change the focus a little bit.

Jimin couldn't help himself any longer and smiled brightly, his eyes fading into two moons again.

"Awn you cute!"

"How did you meet her?"

Jimin is an egocentric cat, talking about his story with you made him happy, he was actually hoping Jungkook would ask.

"Ah... She and Taehyung are childhood friends. His father worked for her mother. I'm Tae's family cat. We have known each other since we were ten and she was eight I guess. In the beginning Y/N  treated me better than everyone, even him. I was never a pet to her, and she taught Tae to see me as a brother. Now I live with just him and my life is almost perfect."

If Jungkook was feeling like an intruder before, now it was definitely worse. From their table he could see you and Taehyung on the line, and the two of you really looked like he thinks what childhood friends must look like. You were arm in arm, and he couldn't tell what he was saying to you, but you were laughing with such pleasure that your whole body seemed to smile with you. You slapped Taehyung's shoulder, looking around with a red face, and then leaned your head on him in embarrassment. In the short time that Jungkook has known you, this is the moment when he saw you more relaxed. He could see how safe you feel with these guys.

He was left out, wasn't he?   

Jungkook raised his hands to cover his ears reflexively.

"Y/N said you are a pitbull, that's right?" Jimin continued the conversation, as if he hadn't noticed where Jungkook was looking, and the sad face the boy made.

Jungkook doesn't like this question. In fact, he doesn't like to touch the subject of breed, because it involves a lot of prejudice. People usually change the way they act with him after they learn what his animal half is.

When Jungkook just nodded in response, Jimin continued.

"You really look like one, you are a muscle tower with a cute face." Jimin laughed. "But your ears aren't clipped, which is nice."

"I didn't let them..." His voice escaped quietly.

Jimin's eyes got round as he realized that he touched on a sensitive subject. It was his turn to trying to change the focus to lighting up the conversation.

"I'm a lynx!" Jimin pointed to his own extra pointed ears. "That's why I have a short tail, and the color of my fur changes with the seasons. But there are people who don't notice right away, because we usually have big hands and feet, but I have baby hands."

 A long second went by, the four of you - uncomfortably - looking at each other.

Jungkook let out a cute laugh looking at Jimin's cute hands extended to him. Both of them gave up on trying to continue a conversation.

Yours and Taehyung's voices got closer as you passed through the glass doors, leaving the restaurant's internal lounge. You found Jungkook and Jimin in awkward silence, so dense it made you and Tae shut up, exchanging confused looks.

"What happened?" Taehyung mouthed to you behind his hand.

You shrugged, eyebrows high.

"The food will be here in a few minutes!" Tae cheered, pulling the chair for you to sit before doing the same for himself. Since no one responded in the same excitement, he cleared his throat and continued the conversation he was having with you before. "Anyway, Y/N... You should see the doctor."

Jungkook and Jimin's eyes widened.

"You said it was ok. I thought you already went to the hospital..." He whined, crossing his arms, feeling betrayed

"Why do you need to see the doctor?" Jimin went faster to the point.

"She hurted her wrist and didn't get it examined." Taehyung exposed you with a pout as you showed your bandaged hand to the cat.

Jimin was pouting at you too... Angry pouting.

The two of them kept raining down arguments that an injury if left untreated can have complications, that they love you too much to see you suffer in the future, and that you should simply listen because they are older than you, and therefore, you owe respect and gratitude when they try to take care of you. They don't even let you talk. 

"If I go to the hospital they'll tell me to make a cold compress, take pain medication, use athlete's ointment, immobilize and don't use my hand in excess. I'm already doing these things." You calmly said, as what they are saying wasn't a big deal, and in your head it really wasn't.

"And what if it is a serious injury?" Jimin took your hand in his as if he could heal you himself. Your indifferent expression melted a little when he planted a kiss on the knots of your hand.

"I already said it to her, but she don't listen!" Tae was outraged.

"Guuuuuys" You were the one whining this time.

"Don't 'guuuuuys' me Y/N" Jimin rolled his eyes. "After we have lunch, Tae will drive you to the hospital."

"I think they are right, Y/N." Jungkook timidly interrupted the staring contest you and Jimin were having. "You should see the doctor."

"What now? Besides being forced to go to the doctor, can I not even drive there?" You ask, with your own piece of drama.

"Exactly." Jimin said firmly.

You were ready to fight your right to just stay home with your work and deadlines, treating your injury the way you know it is best without having to waste time with professional help. After all, you know all the best strategies to beat your best friends in an argument, which work eight out of ten times you try it.

Jungkook was still feeling guilty for hurting you, and the idea of the injury not healing right just terrified him. Also, now he knew your friends he felt the heaviest guilt on his shoulders, if they found out that it was he who hurt you, even if by accident, would they forgive him like you did? Would they still be so nice? Jungkook was sure they wouldn't. And looking at him across the table, you could read all these things on his forehead.

"You said it would heal faster if you treat it right. So please do it." Jungkook said, biting his bottom lip.

"Ok." You sighed, more worried with him than your wrist at all. "Happy?"

"Yes!" Jimin hugged you, and then Jungkook, taking him by surprise.

"Get in loser, we're going to the hospital." He said to you with a mischievous smile.

The waitress brought the food, and the conversation changed course.

___________________________________________________________________________________

With full bellies you got back to your building. Jimin said bye and went to the office to get back to work. You and Jungkook followed Taehyung to his red convertible, which was parked across the busy street. With the roof off - as almost always, Tae likes the wind in his hair - he jumped in without opening the door, and put his glasses on.   

"Loser?" Jungkook looked at him, confused. Clearly he is not used to playful bittering.

You sighed.

"Don't mind him, JK." You opened the door to him, and also entered shortly thereafter. "Don't Regina George me, Tae. I'm being forced to go, so I'm in a bad mood."

Tae smiled, turning on some music and starting the motor. And of course he took the longer way to the hospital to just enjoy the view. After all, what is the fun of going for a ride with friends in a convertible, if it's time for light traffic, and it will only last a few minutes. Going around the city, passing through the park and the historic area is pretty nicer - and the city is small anyway.

Besides the ride clearly affected your mood for the better - you are not a difficult person to please - and Taehyung found it amusing to watch Jungkook through the rearview mirror. The dog was having the time of his life, with the interesting view and the wind in his face. If you hadn't told him to put on the safety seat, you would expect him to be standing on the back seat.

As you passed by the side of the municipal park, with the lake shining in the middle, people running, walking their dogs, having picnics, playing with children, Jungkook's eyes shone with curiosity. It was so beautiful.

"It has plenty of space to run..."

"What is here?" He asked, tapping your shoulder and pointing.

"The park. We can come here sometime if you want."

"Do you like to run?" Tae asked, looking over his shoulder, his glasses on the tip of his nose.

"So we'll come next Sunday. Jimin can try to cook something and we have a picnic. You also need to sunbathe, Y/N." Taehyung determined without wanting to know your opinion, knowing that you'll just accept and prepare something else delicious for them to eat on sunday.

Jungkook nodded with his smile so wide.

"Mostly outdoors." He said dreamily.

Few minutes after you left, Taehyung suddenly stood up.

"Shut up and tell me what you want me to cook." You laughed, and looked to Jungkook. "Excited?"

"Yes."

_____________________________________________________________________________________

At the hospital you got an appointment with an orthopedist - Taehyung made you to, and Jungkook just agreed - even if you knew it wasn't needed, that a general practitioner would solve the problem, and would also release you earlier to go back to work.

After ten minutes of waiting in silence, your name was called by the doctor, you quietly got up leaving the two boys alone in the empty waiting room. The woman at the desk didn't look at them once, the sound of computer keys coming from her direction. One of the walls of the room was made of glass, with a view of an internal garden, and in the corner of the room there was a small water source beside the magazine holder. Apart from the sound of the water and the woman's typing, no sound gave any sign of life in the place, all very quiet, so quiet that Jungkook was afraid to make any noise. He was getting sleepy. 

"I need to pee." He said, already heading towards the corridor.

"Are we going home now?" Jungkook asked too eagerly.   

"Will you leave me here alone?" Jungkook loudly whispered, still afraid of breaking the silence.

Tae looked at him, confused.

"Do you want to come along? Need to pee too?"

"No..."

"I asked him to not let you alone... Well I guess he won't take too long. Wait here, ok?" You said this last part in a kind tone. He just nodded. "I swear that going with me is even more boring than waiting here."

"No, I have to do an x-ray. Where's Taehyung?"

"I know. I've had x-rays a few times before." He relaxed in the chair, your presence being enough for him to feel safe and free from paranoia.   

You tried not to think too much about the idea that Jungkook had to undergo medical procedures in the past, to not have to think about the causes of it, so you smiled and walked down the same corridor as Taehyung, looking for the elevator.

Before Jungkook could feel sad for being alone again, you got back in fast steps.

"Here..." You held out some money to him. "There's a snack machine in that direction, soda and coffee. If you want something, just go get it... Just wait for Tae to come back. Ok?"

And then you ran to take the elevator that finally opened with a 'ding'. 

Jungkook couldn't help himself but think you are cute being so attentious like this, taking care of him the way he always dreamed someone would do. Less paranoid than before, he released all the air from his lungs and got up to change of chair, to sit closer to the glass wall, where the sun was shining. Since he had to wait, at least wait absorbing some vitamin D. 

He was looking at the garden, trying to remember the name of one of the plants, he had seen one exactly the same at home among yours, when two people entered the garden from the other side. One was a woman in a wheelchair, and must have been a hospital patient, the other who was pushing the wheelchair, dressed in a baby pink nurse uniform, was a hybrid. Jungkook frowned and looked more closely, curious. The girl with dog ears stopped the chair beside a tree, and crouched in front of the woman, the two seemed to be nice talking, because even with a tired and pale face, the woman was smiling, and the girl waved the golden fur tail, gesturing her hands as if she were telling a story.

"What are you looking at?" A deep voice spoke behind him.

Tae was back. He held out a can of soda for Jungkook.

"Thanks. I was just..." He tried to form a sentence to explain why exactly he was so curious about the two women, but the only thing he managed to say was. "I just found that strange."

Taehyung looked at the two too, now both of them were doing crochet and laughing.

"What is strange? Is just a patient and hybrid therapist." Tae put his hands in his pocket, finding the scene very cute.

"Hybrid therapist?" If Jungkook was confused before, now he was much more.

"Exactly like a job. They are very well trained from an early age to work with this. " Tae smiled, remembering that depending on what Jungkook's life was like before he met you he really had no way of knowing basic things in the normal world. Not every hybrid owner lets them know about the few rights they have. And well, Taehyung had no idea that Jungkook was a fight dog, if he knew he would have understood the doubt right away.

"Yeah... Like animal therapy with dogs, but with hybrids. They help the recovery of patients. Basically they serve to make patients who are hospitalized happier and healthier." Tae got a seat beside Jungkook, opening his soda and taking a sip.

"Wow. I didn't know hybrids can have jobs." A whole new world opened up in Jungkook's eyes with this information.

"Well... Hybrids cannot formally study yet, so the jobs they can have are still very limited. It is usually manual labor, waiter, janitor, store attendant, things like that. All Y/N stores have at least one hybrid among employees, for example. She believes that this is a way for them to have some independence, and takes great care to make sure the hybrid really wants to work, and is not being obliged by the owner." Tae explained.

"Independence, so that when the hybrids are free they have the means to go on with their lives. Is that right?" Jungkook concluded, putting together things you said and your uncle's speech on TV, and ideas that an old friend of him used to have.

"That's right! You're smart, man!" Taehyung cheered. "Are you interested in having a job?"

"I don't know. As I didn't know I could, I didn't even think about it." He opened his soda too.

Tae smiled in a way that his mouth formed a box.

"And that's totally ok. We have time to think about the future."

Jungkook's mouth formed a bunny smile.

"Yeah."

He was a little scared of your friends, but because they are so close to you, they are as cool as you are. Taehyung only has an evil face, because most of the time he is frowning, but in fact he is also a cinnamon roll as you said.

"Hyung..."  Jungkook got another doubt.

Taehyung gave a choked laugh, looking around to see if they were really alone. The woman at the counter still didn't give a shit about them. When he finally answered, it was in a much lower, secretive tone.

"Humm?"

"Jimin is a special case. You see, my dad wanted me to go to accounting school like him, and I did. But I'm dumb for math, and I'm definitely not an office man." He raised his eyebrow suggestively. "Basically all of my college tests and exams were made by Jimin, which is fraud and against law, but it gets worse... On the payroll, his name is as an assistant in Y/N’s  floriculture, and mine as an accountant. But he is the one who does the work, because he is the genius who likes numbers. That way Jimin does what he likes and is happy, my dad thinks I do what he wants and is happy, and I have time to do what I like and I'm happy."

"And what do you do?" Jungkook asked.

Taehyung was expecting Jungkook to deal less naturally with the revelation he made, but the dog didn't seem impressed at all. He just seemed to think it was cool. Usually he, Jimin and you keep this secret between you, but since you trust Jungkook so much to bring him to live with you, Tae didn't think it would be a problem, and that quiet response proved that thought right.

"Hey, both of you, you can't use flashes here." The woman at the counter finally paid attention to them.

"I like that you asked..." Said Taehyung, he is not a cat, but he is as egocentric as Jimin. He reached into his bag that he hasn't taken off his shoulder since he left the office and took something out. Before Jungkook could see what it was, a light temporarily blinded him. Flash. "I'mma photographer."

"Sorry...ah... Nicolle." Tae read her badge. When turning back to Jungkook he was rolling his eyes. "I was going to stop using the flash myself. With this sun I don't need to."

And he kept taking pictures of a Jungkook who didn't know what to do other than avoid eye contact. The photos were beautiful at the end.

"Not at all. I have a lot of work to do, and I'm kind of wasting time here." You tried to hint to get her to liberate you soon.

"Thank you, doctor. I knew it wasn't a big deal." You eagerly smiled.

"Why did you come, then?" She didn't get the hint at all, still not looking at you.

You held a sigh of frustration and responded in a joke tone.

"I know a handprint when I see one, and your bruise is one. Honey, if someone hurt you, you're in the right place to ask for help. I can call the police and make sure it's safe for you."

"My friends forced me."

You finally understood what she was thinking. And even if it wasn't your situation, with every word she said a shiver went down your spine, and you really felt safe. You almost wanted to cry at the thought of working normally and suddenly realizing that someone needs your help, but don't know how to ask. Well, your job is similar to that in a way.

"Thank you. Seriously, you... are amazing." Your voice was small. "But that is not the case. I do not suffer domestic violence."

She raised an eyebrow at you, still not believing one hundred percent.

"It was actually my hybrid." You felt pressured to say.

"This is pretty serious, too, you should call hybrid control." She dropped your hand on your lap and walked over to her table.

"No!" You almost yelled. Almost. "It's not his fault. He's been suffering from night terror and nightmares. I was careless when I woke him up."

She started to write on her computer.

For a moment she just nodded. She printed two sheets of paper for you.

"Then you should take him to a hybrid psychologist." She stated.

"Here. The prescription of your medicine and the guide for you to get a decent splint to immobilize that hand." She reclined in her chair. "And recommendations of good hybrid psychologists, there are three names on the list. And that's it."

"Thank you!" You were really grateful for that. You took your coat and headed for the exit, stopping with your hand on the handle. "And mainly thanks for your attitude, I didn't need any help but I know there are a lot of women out there who need it, so thanks for being available."

Back to the white corridor you sighed checking the hours, you only have a gigantic legal report to deliver before midnight, okay, no need to freak out. Ready to get your medicine and go back home put your slippers on. You hate hospitals to be honest, your quota has been hit for an entire month.

In what you came up at the corner of the hall, Jungkook's head snapped in your direction.

"I need to go to a pharmacy on the way."

"Yep. It wasn't anything serious, like I said." You answered with your hands inside your jacket pockets.

Tae whined.

"Ah, Y/N... I thought you were going to say something more fun. Like, I need to stop by an amusement park on the way..."

"As if Jimin wouldn't kill us if we did such a thing without him." You started walking to the exit, both males following you.

"So we pick him in the office and then we go." He tried to negotiate.

Jungkook looked from you to Taehyung with a little line of doubt forming between his eyebrows.

"No Taehyung. I need to work."

"You are no fun, Y/N!" Tae passed an arm by your shoulder. "Your job shouldn't be that important... You don't even like being a lawyer..."

You rolled your eyes.

"But it is! I'm new to the company and I want to be part of a specific case, and for that I have to be soooo efficient for them to trust me for this. It's not fair for you to be tempting me like that Tae." You pouted. "Besides, I wanted to be able to finish everything early, to have a free night today, and it won't happen anymore because of this silly visit to the doctor."

"Why did you want a free night?" Apparently this was the only part that Taehyung heard.

Before you could answer very grudgingly, Jungkook asked the question that was bothering his little cute head.

"What is an amusement park?"   

Both you and Tae looked at him, forgetting the former argument.

"That's where we go on Saturday. Right, Y/n?" A smile spread on Taehyung's face.

"Damn." You whined, watching the water go down the drain. You always liked your freedom. One of the reasons you never considered adopting a hybrid - apart from everything else - or having a roommate at all is that you like being alone, you value privacy. One of your favorite things to do is walking around the house all naked and free, and now you were realizing that you could probably never do that again with a man living with you now . As you closed your eyes, resting your forehead on the cold tiles on the wall, the happy face of Jungkook appeared in your thoughts. "Shit ... it's worth it."

To avoid the noise and be able to focus on work, you found a good lo-fi playlist and put earphones on. The streetlights started to light up and the sun was going away when you decided to take a break to eat something and take a shower, feeling pain in your back and your butt square of sitting for so long. From the sound of a third voice downstairs, you assumed that Jimin finished the day's tasks and closed the office at normal hours, and joined the other two.

Entering the living room you were taken by surprise by kicking high in the air and jumping boys, the couch out of place, and a mix of music and laughter.

Feeling fifty percent renewed, you dried yourself with a fluffy towel and applied a moisturizer to each corner of your skin before dressing up, and then brushed your wet hair.

"You are playing Just Dance now?" You laughed.

Jungkook, who was sitting in the corner watching Jimin and Taehyung dancing, reached to your hand pulling you to sit with him.

"Jimin hyung wanted to dance..." He said, holding you by the shoulders. He looked like he was having a good time.

Jimin and Taehyung burst into screams and laughter when the song ended and the score appeared in the center of the TV screen.

"Noooooooo! How is this even possible!" Jimin threw himself on the floor at the same time Tae made a winning dance.

"It's because you stop to laugh a lot, hyung!" Jungkook mocked.

He looked so, so happy.   

"Totally worth it." You let it slip, looking at him.

"What?" He looked back at you.

"Nothing." Your face heated up. "Play you now, I want to see you dance."

He made a happy squick getting up so fast he almost passed over you like a steamroller.

"Ok."

"Jackson!" Jimin greeted.

"I want to dance a hard one!"

You and the man named Jackson let go from each other, but instead of getting apart from him, you enlaced your hand with his, pulling him inside the apartment. He kissed your temple, making you blush, and Jungkook's jaw dropped.

"Hi guys." Jackson said, lifting some cardboard bags with his free hand. "I brought food, but I didn't know you were here so there's not much..."

"It's okay, let's put it in the kitchen." You said already turning around there.

"I message you telling the boys are here." You said to him.

"Did you hurt your hand?"

"This is nothing. You know me, I'm reckless." You laughed to yourself.

You two disappeared into the kitchen.

"Did you know he would be back today?" Jimin whispered to Tae.

"Don't know. She didn't kick us off." Tae was thoughtful.

The two exchanged a weird look. Jimin made a face.

"Nice, because I don't want to go home just yet." Jimin returned to the choice of songs.

You were happy having a glass of mocha latte Jackson brought to you when you said.

"But we should...!"

"I have to introduce you. Jackson, this is Jungkook... JK, this is Jackson."

"Hi." Said Jungkook.

"Did you adopt him, Taehyung?" Jackson asked cordially.   

"Hi. Nice to meet you." Jackson reached a hand to Jungkook, wearing a genuine smile. "I'm Y/N boyfriend."

"Is that what you wanted to tell me?"Jackson looked surprised, and maybe a little uncomfortable.

"No." You answered, kind of nervous. "I did."

"Yes. You said we could talk about it when you got back, I didn't want to disturb you. You were working." You talked faster than you intended.

"But this is important, it wouldn't disturb me at all." Jackson looked from you to Jungkook and back to you and smiled. "It's just too sudden... Mostly coming from you."

"It was not planned at all, it is that Jungkook is special. It was destiny." You tried to explain, regretting the last part as soon as the words came out your mouth. It was a bit too much. You took a sip of your coffee.

"Got it..." Jackson shrugged.

Before things could get any more weird, Taehyung talked in his cheer tone.

"Since there's no food for everyone, we are going out to get hamburgers. Right, JK?"

Something clicked on Jungkook's mind and he came back to planet earth a little.

Jimin started pushing the taller boy for the door.

"Right?" Jungkook looked at him without understanding.

"Yeah, put on your shoes and let's go."

Over the shoulder you mouthed a grateful "thanks" to Taehyung, both by saving the conversation, both for letting you have alone time with your boyfriend and taking care of Jungkook at the same time. The three of them left the apartment as if you had thrown them out - as fast as they could. You sighed when the door closed behind them.

That said, you grabbed the jacket and ran out the door, not paying attention if he said something to you, skipping steps down the stairs to go faster, before the boys got in the car.

"Did you finish work?"Jackson released your hand so he could hold you.

"Jungkook!" You arrived in the courtyard behind the building, where Tae's convertible was parked next to your SUV. Jungkook was getting into the car, but stopped in mid-motion when he heard you calling. "Your jacket!"

"I forgot it!" His ears went up.

He came to you, and instead of giving it to him, you threw the jacket over his shoulders, making him wear it, and then zipped it up to the top. Something occurred to you, something important that you should have already said to Jungkook, and that now, more than before, needs to be clear.

"Jungkook, maybe you have already figured this out, because you are smart. But my work with that organization is a secret. All my hybrid rescue work with them is secret. So you can't talk to anyone about it, that includes telling how and where we met. It doesn't matter if you know that I trust the person... In fact, even if you know that the person knows the secret, avoid talking about... Got it?"

Jungkook's gaze became serious, in a way you haven't seen yet, a strong look. He was always good at keeping secrets, his, of the owners he had, of the other hybrids he was locked up in in the dark basement ... Keeping a secret of yours, who is a person he cares about so much, wouldn't be so difficult. "Yes. Does that include, Taehyung, Jimin ... and Jackson?" You looked away, biting your lip. "Everyone, JK. But mostly Jackson. Please?"

His gaze went from one eye of yours to the other, trying to understand what you meant by that. You are a person full of secrets, he already realized, and he has no problem with that, because he believes that you have your reasons just as he has his. "You can count on me." He smiled, holding out a little finger for you. You let a laugh take over you all. "A pinky promise?" "These are the best contracts." He shrugged. You hooked your little finger in his, sealing the secret of how your lives intertwined only between the two of you. Jungkook ran back to the car, where your childhood friends were waiting for him, wishing him fun and you returned to the warmth of the apartment where your boyfriend was waiting for you.

_______________________________________________________________

If you want to be tagged let me know.

Tag list:  @stayunderthelights  @deolly  @panconte @serendipityoreuphoria @madygswich @namjoonies-dimple @givebuckysomelove @imluckybitches @hoseokslefteyebrow  @yzkyzkuniverse @flaring-vibes @justpeachyjoon @narcissism-iskey @angeltothecore @tiberiaxs @minikolima 

sorry not sorry

[catboymingi]

[02:48]

navi/masterlist

pairing: mingi x reader

genre: somewhat angsty, fluff

word count: 1.3k

warnings: reader has insomnia - hallucination mention though not described in detail

sun sanat menee kuuroille korville / suutele mua kerran niin et mä tunnen sen / näytä mulle pantomiimi - your words fall on deaf ears / kiss me so i can feel it / show me without words

you didn’t realise you’d missed your insomnia medication before you went to sleep - you’d forgotten and so had mingi, who, once you had reassured him that missing any of the mystery pills you took every night wouldn’t hurt you, had relaxed about trying to remember on your behalf, and you hadn’t had any more issues falling asleep than you usually did when around mingi (who kept you up until he deemed it an appropriate time to sleep, at which point you usually took your medication). but when you woke up in the middle of the night, panic quickly taking over your body, you knew something was wrong. you saw someone staring right at you, a figure that had no business being in your boyfriend’s bedroom, and you knew that if you in any way made it known that you were awake you would be in big trouble. you tried to keep your breath slow, regular, so it wouldn’t give you away, but your heart was racing. you needed mingi to protect you, but he was still sleeping and you couldn’t say anything to wake him up because that’d give you away. so you pinched the arm that was wrapped around you, as hard as you could, then scratched him, and, when nothing helped, slowly took his hand and moved it to your mouth, eyeing the creature to make sure it hadn’t caught on yet, before taking one of mingi’s fingers into your mouth and biting down as hard as you could. 

this worked, the boy shuffling behind you, a sign that he was waking up, before cursing loudly. his voice made you flinch, the sudden volume unexpected, but you could see the creature fade away with a hateful expression on its face as he sat up, his finger no longer trapped in your mouth.

“what on earth was that for?” he sounded somewhat angry, and you couldn’t blame him - you hadn’t been gentle, but that had kind of been the whole point. you needed him there, needed him awake, and pain was the quickest and most effective way you could come up with. so instead of replying you turned to face him, grabbing whatever limb of his was closest to you. that was his thigh, and the unusual choice of body part made him realise something was wrong.

“nightmare?” his voice was much softer now, though the sleep was still apparent, and you felt bad for having woken him up now. it suddenly felt like a massive overreaction - yeah, you’d been scared for your life, but past experience should have taught you that you’d be fine either way. it wouldn’t have been the first night you’d spent all but holding your breath, hoping to fall asleep again.

“something like that. i’m sorry for waking you up.” you were still clinging onto his leg though.

“don’t be. you okay?”, he asked, even though he knew you weren’t. so he gently loosened your grip on his leg before moving so that he could put your head in his lap. you turned your face away from him, now holding on to his lower leg. your heart was still racing and you clung to mingi like your life depended on it. noticing the distraught state you were in, he just stroked your hair, quietly telling you that you were okay and it was okay and he was there. he was ready to spend the rest of the night doing this if it meant you’d feel better, but as soon as the worst panic had subsided you asked him to hug you. and he did, no questions asked, holding you tightly as you buried your face in his chest.

“don’t go”, you begged suddenly. he’d half expected you to be asleep already, having rubbed soothing circles on your back and you not having moved at all. but you very obviously weren’t, and his grip around you tightened at your words.

“i won’t ever”, he promised.

“you make me feel safe.” your words were somewhat muffled since you spoke against his chest rather than up at him, but he understood you anyway. his reply to that was a soft kiss pressed to the top of your head. you both knew he wasn’t good at expressing his feelings with words, but you knew what he meant. he was there to protect you, he would keep you safe for as long as he could.

this time it was your turn to shuffle as you moved upwards a little so you could face your boyfriend. looking him into the eyes - the room was half-lit even at night because while it was you who needed comfort right now mingi could be just as much of a baby, so he never closed the blinds at night, the city lights illuminating the room just enough for both of you to feel comfortable - you sent him an apologetic smile.

“sorry for biting you earlier.” he laughed before pecking your nose.

“it’s okay. better now?”

you nodded. “not good, but better.”

he looked at you quietly before he got an idea. leaning in, he quickly pecked your lips before giving you a goofy grin.

"how about now?" you couldn't help but laugh at this, his sweet attempt at making you feel better causing your heart to swell with love.

"not sure. try again?" at this point it wasn't needed, the fear you'd felt earlier forgotten at his silly display of affection, but you wouldn't pass up a chance to get kissed.

mingi laughed as well before leaning in to peck your lips again.

"and now?" you looked at him, humming while pretending to think very hard.

"i think you need to try harder" was the conclusion you came to, which made a pout manifest itself on your boyfriend's face.

"i'm doing all the work, yet you're never satisfied. you are so ungrateful."

"drama queen." he was almost certain he saw you roll your eyes at him. but you wouldn't do that after he had just put in a lot of hard work to make you smile, so he decided to ignore his suspicion.

"if my boyfriend tried his best to make me feel better i would simply appreciate it", he scolded you jokingly, but he was very obviously smiling.

"you don't even have a boyfriend", you tried to weaken his claim, but he was right, even if he was joking. and you did appreciate it, appreciated him, so you decided that you should let him know. "thank you. really."

"don't be sappy when i'm being silly!" he was embarrassed about the sudden serious display of affection but leaned in to kiss you anyway, a real kiss this time, not just a peck. your heartbeat sped up again, though for an entirely different reason than the last time it had done so. you were so in love with him that it sometimes felt like too much, but every moment you spent with him left you certain that he was worth it, that he was the one for you.

when he pulled away the grin made its way back onto his face and he teasingly asked you: "did i try hard enough this time?"

"song min gi, i can't believe you! you just ruined the moment!" he laughed at your indignation, and this sound was enough to make the faked angry expression turn into one of love and adoration.

"you love me either way", he said confidently.

"i hate you." but you were smiling, your face giving away just how whipped you were.

"doesn't matter, i still love you." he pulled you closer again, shifting until your face was hidden in the crook of his neck. and you wrapped your arm around his waist, gently tapping against his back with your fingers from the slight anxiety you felt whenever you expressed your feelings to mingi.

“i love you too.”

and, with him in your arms and him holding you tightly in his, you managed to fall asleep again.

[faeriejukyung]

Dr. Romantic, Teacher Kim 2 Review

media type: kdrama

genre: medical drama, melodrama, romance

duration: 16 episodes, 70 minutes each

available on: viki (for free!)

faeriejukyung rating: 9.5/10 🍇

I know that I’m very late to this, but please bear with me. this drama came out back in January, and at that time it didn’t pique my interest, since I’m not a huge medical drama watcher. as a matter of fact, this is the first medical drama that I’ve watched! I saw one of my close friends gush about the chemistry between Lee Sung Kyung and Ahn Hyo Seop (the actors playing the lead couple in DRTK 2) on her instagram story, so I decided to give it a watch. And to say that I was pleasantly surprised is an understatement. 

This is genuinely the best kdrama I have watched ALL year. Everything about it so amazing. I was initially a bit worried because I haven’t yet watched the first season of Dr. Romantic, so I thought I’d have trouble following the storyline. But that was not the case at all! I could understand pretty much everything perfectly, and even though there were a few references to older characters, overall I wasn’t confused at all. And I’m not gonna lie, this kdrama kind of made me reconsider my future career options LMAOOO I high-key wanted to become a surgeon after watching this,, idk man, might fuck around and do medicine after I graduate high school. (my mom would die to hear me say these words)

The story revolves around the extremely talented doctor with a passion for helping and saving people, Bu Yong Ju, or Kim Sa Bu (played by Han Suk Kyu), as he’s referred to in the drama, the extremely intelligent, hardworking and sincere, but anxious doctor Cha Eun Jae (played by Lee Sung Kyung), and the talented lonewolf Seo Woo Jin (played by Ahn Hyo Seop), who’s struggling with debt. Kim Sa Bu recruits Cha Eun Jae and Seo Woo Jin to help run the chaotic Doldam Hospital, which is situated at a countryside, the place where rest of the story takes place. 

All the characters in this kdrama are so well written, and all of them have reasons for doing the things that they do. All the side characters are so so so likeable (I particularly liked the Head Nurse’s Tigress mom-like character!) -- There is not one character that I can say is poorly written. Even the dude I hated the most (Dr. Yang Ho Joon) is a well written character

The storyline in this kdrama is by far one of the most interesting ones. I literally could not stop myself from binge watching the whole thing in less than a week lmao. That's the only complain I have -- I could not put my phone down. Every time I would finish an episode, I’d practically be dying to know what happens in the next one. Every episode brings a new medical case, and I would feel my blood pressure heighten up during each and every emergency treatment. The tension that our characters feel during a surgery seems very much palatable through the screen. Like you can tell, that this is a life and death situation. And every sigh of relief that you’d take after the patient is saved would feel earned.

I REALLY REALLY REALLY adored the camaraderie and the sense of community the staff at Doldam Hospital shared. Honestly, I can talk about their loving relationship with each other for hours. These people are very much a family. These are the characters you get really emotionally attached to. And I particularly love them because found family is my favorite tv/movie/book trope :”) They are literally what I want my ideal work environment to be like! if our relationship is not like the staff at Doldam Hospital, I don’t want it. 🙄👎

My favorite character, most definitely would be the Romantic Doctor himself, Kim Sa Bu. Honestly, everyone deserves a mentor like Kim Sa Bu in their life. His wise teachings, his eye for talent, his way of teaching people and helping them overcome their flaws is literally all I want in life. He has this way of reassuring people, that it’ll be okay as long as he’s there. In the end of the kdrama, he tells us to always be in touch with our idealistic side and to never let go of the romanticism inside of us. People might call him a madman, crazy, impractical, but Kim Sa Bu always puts values and ideals like empathy, doing the right thing, selflessness at the top. He’s a character that I’ll remember for a really long time.

And of course, I can’t forget Woo Jin and Eun Jae. These two are literally my babies. We see them grow as individuals, and as a duo/couple throughout the drama. They are legit one of my favorite slow burn couples ever. And their relationship is so beautiful, you can tell how much they care about each other. While Eun Jae teaches Woo Jin to be more open about his feelings, to sometimes rely on others, Woo Jin teaches Eun Jae to be more confident with her surgery skills. (CAN I TAKE A MOMENT TO JUST TALK ABOUT EUN JAE’S CHARACTER ARC? LIKE . OMG. I’m absolutely in love!! her character glow up is like the one I want. she went from being an insecure people pleaser with a good girl complex to a self assured and extremely skilled surgeon!! God I really want to have a character arc like her, because I really relate to how Eun Jae initially was lol) Anyway, I literally cANNOT stop fangirling over them. They’re always there for each other emotionally, every time one of them is going through something. Their emotional connection is just *chef’s kiss*. They’re in my “dream relationships” list. Also this is a quick disclaimer that you might feel like they’re a bit slow, but that’s because the story isn’t completely centered around their romance. That being said, I WOULD DIE TO SEE MORE OF THEM :(( like I literally go on youtube and re-watch all my favorite WooJae scenes. (I’m lonely can u tell)

Overall, this kdrama is literally perfection for me (it’s my emotional support kdrama now ahaha). I recommend it to people who like frenemies-to-lovers trope, found family trope, along with some good adrenaline rush (lol)

Also quick viewer discretion: This show contains themes of violence, death and r@pe/s3xual assault. it also contains  A LOT of blood. Like, A LOT. I know this stuff triggers a lot of people, I advise those people to not watch it. please take care :( I love u <33

Thank you if you read through the whole thing, it means a lot! :D My name is Mahima, I’m 15 years old and I mostly geek out about kdramas, webtoon, at;la, and LOTR here, with occasional stuff about harry potter, pjo, and pokemon. hmu if u wanna be friends and talk about my stupid hyper fixations AHAH 

[igotyouniverse]

Breathe Me - Chapter 1 [nct vamp au]

Description: After dropping out of college and coming home for the first time in two years, 22-year-old Ava Lee gets caught up in a mystery surrounding the people she thought she knew for so long. Between friendship, affairs and true love the young women finds herself being pulled into a  nightmare she would never wake up from.

Pairing: Oc x Taeyong , Oc x Johnny [several side-pairing involving Mark, Ten, Lucas and Jaehyun.]

Included Members: Taeyong, Johnny, Mark, Lucas, Ten, Jaehyun, Doyoung, Haechan (maybe more)

Genre: Drama, Romance, Angst, Action, Fantasy

Warnings: none (this chapter)

suggestive content, strong language, violence, blood, death. probably more, not sure yet (later chapters)

a/n: Here it comes! After years of procrestination I finally managed to write the very first (very boring) chapter of my vampire au with nct! Anyway, the main drama will start in the next chapter so stay patient and bear this one with me. It took me long enough, haha. All the warnings will be for later chapters so don't start reading if u dont feel like reading stuff like that qq If someone wants to get tagged please send me a message, ask, comment or whatever qq

I really hope you guys enjoy it, it was a very heavy birth. ♥

ch.2 || ch. 3

                                                   †

The girl sighed deeply and took a look outside the small airplane window. She saw how the plane slowly drove into the prepared parking lot and felt how her level of anxiety rose with each second. Even though the flight was 18 hours long and her legs started to hurt she didn't want to stand up. Standing up meant for her to actually leave the plane, get her luggage and meet her family which would sooner or later lead to them asking all these questions. It wasn't like she didn't miss them.

She missed them very dearly. She missed the Sunday morning brunches with her neighbours, the movie nights where her dad would always pick out a movie because he'd pout if not, she even missed  her little brother Mark bursting into her room without knocking and asking her some totally stupid questions. She missed catching up with her best friend. She missed all these sleepovers when all they had to worry about was who the cutest boy at school was and what they'll do together once they were adults. She craved for all these past memories. The last time she set foot onto this ground was two years ago at her very first spring break after leaving home, moving to a town thousand of miles away, not knowing anyone.

She heard a beeping noise which indicated that the passengers could stand up and get out but she waited. All of them seemed in such a hurry to leave the plane, grabbing their belongings, everyone trying to get out first which ended in a crowded queue inside of the plane. She stretched her legs as much as possible, not making the slightest move to stand up.

Her eyes wandered back to the window, allowing her to take a glance at the sky, she wished to be into again. It was still quite bright outside, even though it was nearly evening, the sun nearly blinding her when she looked up, leading her to cover her eyes with her hand. The sunsets were so different in the States than here, in South Korea. Her eyes tried to focus on the slowly fading sun, leaving the sky in beautiful pinks and oranges with just a hint of soft white clouds.

Her mind started to spin, thinking about all the things she had to explain to her family sooner or later. But for now she needed to stay positive and hide the fact that she – the oh-so-perfect – student managed to drop out of a university, her parents nearly went insolvent to pay for to allow their daughter to get the best medical education they could think of. At the beginning the girl actually thought that it was her biggest dream to become a famous surgeon but after a short while she had to face the ugly truth that the job she so desperately wanted to do as long as she could remember just wasn't her thing.

She tried so badly to keep on and thought that it's just a phase every young adult went through when they started university but every time she talked to her friends at university she saw that that wasn't exactly the case. Everyone was so focused and motivated to become a successful doctor or surgeon they underwent the torture of endless sleepless nights, insane pressure and the feeling of not being able to even cut an onion correctly, which the professor didn't even care to make better. Every day she got told that she would never be able to work in the medical field and could try herself with some more basic and easy studies. It didn't matter how hard she tried to remember all the lectures and do her assignments – she failed miserably at everything.

Of course, her family didn't know. She was way too afraid to burst the bubble her parents created around her, leaving her in that perfect, white spotlight, portraying her like some sort of angel on a pedestal for everyone to see. They loved to talk about her in front of everyone, telling them that she'd be a successful surgeon, working hard and publishing groundbreaking articles, making herself a name in the medical community. Maybe even getting some famous award. Everyone in that small town knew about the smart daughter who got into one of the best medical universities in the United States, who worked so hard she was barely home.

She couldn't bear to see the disappointment on their faces once they see what she really was – a failure. She managed to hide her dropping out of university so well, she created her web of lies carefully over the last year, she sometimes even believed what she was saying. But as soon as her alarm clock went off, remembering her to go to work at a small corner café to pay her rent and even save some money in case her parents might throw her out, she had to face real life again. The life in which she dropped out only one year after starting, loosing hundreds of thousands of dollars and leaving the incident in her resume forever.

She was glad she got a job in the café as it belonged to the parents of one friend she met at college, who managed to get in because of a scholarship. They allowed her to work as much as she could to save money and even helped her sometimes.

“Excuse me, Miss?”, a soft and gentle voice made the girl leave her deep thoughts and look up. A beautiful, young flight attendant smiled down at her. “You need to leave the plane, please.”, she said in sweet yet demanding voice  and got her luggage out of the cabinet above for her. The girl didn't realise that the plane was already as good as empty. She thanked the attendant, grabbed her bag and went out of the plane into the airport, feeling her legs shaking more with each step she took.

She pulled out her smartphone, turning off flight mode only to get bombarded with dozens of messages, mostly from her mom asking if she already landed and that they waited for her at the gate. After that she only texted emojis. Hearts, heart-eyes and some other stuff which made her feel even more anxious. How could she disappoint a mother as proud as her? No, she needed to keep her secret for a bit longer. Maybe until her brother messed up. But what could he possibly mess up which would overshadow her dropping out of college? Maybe if he committed a crime.

Mark was different from her, She didn't know how but he actually managed to tell their parents that he doesn't want to become a doctor or lawyer, and instead insisted of becoming an author or journalist. To say her parents were unhappy would be an understatement. They were more than angry and told him to pay the tuition himself. They believed it was just a small teenage dream he had but when he finished High School and started working at the local bookstore to save some money to actually study creative writing they realized that he was serious. That small incident happened just 14 months ago, yet he continued to work there and save up. He even managed to visit her every couple of months, as she didn't want to come.

When she arrived at the luggage claim the suitcases were already out on the baggage belt and she waited as long as she could, watching her lonely suitcase making its turns on the device, purposely ignoring it until it was the only one left and she had to grab it. Her phone vibrated in her pocket again.

Mark [06.07pm]: Where r u?

She rolled her eyes and just put it back in the pocket of her jeans as she headed towards the exit. The girl took a deep breath, putting on the brightest smile she could manage and stepped out of the doors. Her family wasn't hard to notice. Her parents held a way too big and bright  banner in their hands

WELCOME HOME AVA

Ava tried to keep her smile up and waved at them. “Oh, honey welcome home!”, her mother shouted as she lowered the banner to hug her daughter tightly. “I'm so happy you're finally home again, our doctor!.”, she said and patted her back softly. She felt her dad joining the hug and giving her a warm smile as well, joining her mother in telling her how happy he was to have her back home. Ava clenched her jaw, trying to smile as honest as possible.

“You're really squishing me to death guys.”, Ava chuckled and was glad when her parents finally let go of her. She looked up and saw her brother Mark smiling at her.

“Come on, give your favourite sister a hug.”, the girl laughed, making her brother chuckle before embracing her in a loving hug as well. The last time she saw him he visited the campus a few months ago. Of course he didn't know she dropped out then and nearly choked on his water when she told him. She knew he wouldn't tell their parents but he thought it would be better if she told their parents as soon as possible, which she didn't of course.

“Happy to have you back.”, Mark said and squeezed his sister one more time before he let her go and took her suitcase.

Ava stretched her body slowly before getting into their car, really not wanting to sit down for another hour but apparently she had to. As soon as she sat down and put on her seat belt her mother turned around to look at her and smiled.

“Tell us, honey, how is Stanford? Is it going well, yes?”, she asked and Ava felt like she needed to throw up.

“Yeah, everything is fine. I handed in all assignments last week and I have a good feeling.”, she chuckled and felt guilt crawling all over her body. She smiled slightly and turned her eyes away to avoid her mother proud gaze, yet she could feel Mark eyeing her.

“Ah, that's so great, honey. Your father and I just talked to the Lee's from across the street and they told us their son wants to apply to Stanford, too. We told them you could talk to him and give some advice.”

“Sure.”, she just sighed and pulled out her phone again, hoping her mother would understand her silent plead to leave her be. Her mother smiled again and turned back to talk to her father about what she'd make for dinner on this special occasion.

Ava checked the other texts she got, scrolling through them. She smiled when she saw a text from her best friend, sending her a picture from her in her nurse uniform. She looked so cute, proudly standing in front of the mirror in the dressing room, posing with a finger heart.

[Ava 06.54pm] Cute! Just landed, on my way home. Wanna hang out later?

[Yunmi 06.57pm] Can't. Night shift today but pick me up tomorrow morning and get breakfast? The café next to the bookstore finally opened!

[Ava 07.00pm] absolutely! Can't wait. Miss you so much ♥

She scrolled through the remaining texts just to feel a little disappointment in her body after not seeing what she so desperately wanted to see. But then again, she didn't expect to see a text from him after he ignored each and everyone of hers the last two years. He didn't even care enough to wish her a happy birthday in November so he probably couldn't care less texting her when she came home.

She sighed lightly and looked outside the car window, seeing how the landscape came and go in front of her eyes and how the sky got all these beautiful colours in it, she could even see the moon already. A wave of tiredness crashed over her exhausted body as she decided to close her eyes for just  a moment.

The girl felt someone poking her arm multiple times, calling her name.

“Wake up, we're home.”, she heard Mark say and groaned, before rubbing her eyes.

“Yes, I'm awake, you can stop poking me.”, she said when her brother continued to poke her arm with a grin on his face.

“Don't make me hit you.”, she warned and slapped his hand away.

“Pff, please.” he answered mockingly and jumped out of the car before her fist could reached his body.

Ava chuckled , getting out of the car stretching her stiff body slowly, hearing all her joints crack at once.

“How old are you? 80?” Mark said teasingly, getting out her suitcase from the trunk.

“Trust me, I feel like it.”, she yawned loudly and slowly got up the stairs to their house.

She inhaled the sweet and calming scent of her mothers vanilla candles as soon as she set foot into the house, taking of her shoes before she walked further inside. It hasn't changed a bit. The beige coloured walls still had pictures of the family on them. Ava smiled and looked at the picture of her and her family from her Highschool graduation three years ago. She smiled when she saw the exact picture her parents had chosen. Mark and her making some weird pose while her parents rolled their eyes.

“Honey, dinner will be ready in half-an-hour, okay?” she didn't realize that her mother was standing right next to her and flinched a bit.

“Yeah, sure, thank you, mom. I'll start to unpack then. Love you.”, Ava said, kissing her mothers cheek softly before going up the stairs into her old room where Mark already put her suitcase and bag.

Her room hasn't changed either. Of course, it looked a bit colder as she took all her personal stuff with her to the US when she moved out, but it still felt comfy with it's cozy beige sofa and her queen sized bed, which her mother already prepared for her. She closed the door behind her and looked outside the big windows, which connected to a small balcony, which was only hers. She remembered how mad Mark was when she got the room with the balcony and not him and grinned. She stepped outside for a moment to breathe in the still warm air, listening to the rustling sound of the trees as a mild breeze blew through them.

The small wooden bench she made herself with her dad back when she was younger still stood in the very same corner and even had pillows on it and a blanket, indicating that someone still used it even while she was gone. Probably her mother when she wanted to have some time and space for herself, she thought and smiled before going back into her room.

She stretched her stiff body once again before squatting down and opening her black suitcase to unpack her things. Ava only brought some clothes and other necessities with her as she didn't believe of staying home for a longer period of time. She rented her tiny apartment, or as she preferred to call it, her shoebox to a friend from university who looked for her own place as long as she stayed with her parents so she didn't need to worry about paying rent. So she just packed her essentials and hoped to keep her pretty little lie for some more months to figure out what she actually wanted to do with her situation now. She wasn't even sure if she wanted to stay in Stanford . She just knew, she didn't want to stay here in this tiny town where everyone knows everyone.

She loved the size of New York, she loved the vibes, the people and even the stink it had. It was charming in some kind of way and she enjoyed the anonymity she had. She liked living in the famous city which never sleeps but it didn't feel like a complete home to her yet and maybe never would. Not to mention, that she was just working in a café which was barely enough to live so she needed to get something more permanent very soon. But she had no idea what that could be. Maybe she'd apply to another university, maybe she didn't want to go to college at all. But what were her options anyway?

Ava groaned, throwing a stack of clothes into her closet in frustration, before squatting down again to fold them neatly. She felt her phone vibrating in the pocket of her jeans and sighed when she saw the name of the person who messaged her blinking in front of her. She opened it and thought about her answer for several minutes before she decided to ignore it for the moment and maybe get back to it later, unsure about her wanting to meet the sender or not.

She furrowed her eyes as she looked at the clock hanging at one of her walls, showing that it was way later than she expected and her mother still hadn't called for dinner yet. She put the last of her belongings in the connected bathroom she shared with her brother and checked her phone to make sure she didn't receive a text from him telling her dinner is ready. Ava didn't realize how hungry she was until she thought about the dishes her mother was probably busy making and her mouth started to water. She really missed good Korean food. There were quite some Korean restaurants in New York but of course nothing tasted as good as her mother's home cooked meals.

Just as she wanted to open her door and check downstairs she heard her mother shout from the kitchen that dinner was finally ready. She opened her door and could already smell the kimchi and meat her mother apparently made and couldn't wait to finally taste it.

“Coming! I'm getting Mark”, Ava shouted back and wanted to knock on Marks door, telling him to come down but the boy who opened the door wasn't her brother.

“Oh, hey Ava. Haven't seen you in forever. How are you?”, Johnny asked, seemingly surprised but a small smile appeared on his pretty face.

He hasn't changed a tiny bit. He still looked as gorgeous as three years ago when she left and never heard of him again. His hair was still black but a tad longer than before. It framed the contours of his face just perfectly which made it hard for her to look away and think about how she was mad at him for ignoring her for the past years, even though the last thing she remembered with him was actually something very nice. Or that's at least what she thought it was. Apparently he thought differently and had to treat her like air. Not even daring to step a foot in their house when she came home for spring break once.

“Umm, fine. Are you staying for dinner?”, she asked, trying to sound as calm as possible but she couldn't hide a tint of anger in her voice, yet the anger mixed up with other feelings she was way too bad at hiding.

“Yeah, I invited him. He basically lives here anyway.”, she heard Mark say behind Johnny who didn't seem to sense her displeasure over his invitation. Why do they have to be best friends? She asked herself and secretly hoped for Johnny to disappear or something. But of course that wouldnÄt happen.

“Please, the food gets cold, come down.”, she heard her mother saying from the foot of the stairs with her hands stemmed in her hips, still wearing her red-dotted apron.

“Actually, I'm not hungry.”, Ava said taking a step away from Johnny as his simple presence made her legs feel stupidly weak.

Her statement got quite unbelievable when her stomach started to growl from the heavenly scent of her mother's food.

“Doesn't sound like it.”, Mark said and raised his brow looking at his sister questionably.

“I'm really not hungry and I'm meeting a friend. Can we postpone our family dinner to another time?”, she said while purposely emphasising the term family to show her displeasure about the clearly unwanted guest guest.

Before her mother could answer something Ava ran down the stairs, giving her mother another short kiss before running outside, leaving her house behind.

She took a deep breath before letting out some vulgar curses towards the situation and especially the person causing her to still feel all these things.

Ava pulled out her phone and messaged the only person she could think of, who might get her thoughts somewhere else, even if she might regret it in the morning.

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