#anyways let's forget about that. i'm very happy with my art this year i think. looking back on it. yeah :)

[artekai]

I made two because it was hard to choose just one piece for some months. Last year's under the cut for comparison 💞

[infamous-if]

Happy 1 year anniversary to this blog!

It was yesterday...though I do find it fitting that I've been focused on writing so much that I forgot lmao

When I first had the idea for Infamous, I didn't work on it right away. The concept was cool, yeah, but was it enough for interactive fiction? A medium I never even tried before?

I let it marinate in my head for a while wondering if it would be a good story or not. I listened to a lot of music, made a lot of idea boards and outlined routes but told myself I wasn't actually writing it. Just playing in a new literary sandbox with no strings! I was very close to not publishing my idea because it felt like it wasn't a story that I could handle. And it was daunting. I've published stories before, but they were completed novels that I could just forget about it and move on from once I was done. This was a commitment! I kept asking myself if I was even a good enough writer for the plans I had haha

But it didn't stop bothering me and I was getting irritable over my own brain creating this whole world without my permission. So I posted the intro post on a whim just to see what would happen! Turns out, I'm really happy I did!

One year later and there's been a whole community of people who have enriched the story and elevated it to a place that I wouldn't have been able to do it on my own. The amazing fanfics, the head canons, fan art and the suggestions, it's been really nice to work on this with the support and encouragement I've gotten. I think the best parts of the story so far have come from the collective, not me, and knowing that there are people who watched me serve my ideas on a platter like "here. take it pls." and accepted it is really nice. I'm grateful :)

thank you guys for reading the story and being kind to me and my ideas and having so many discussions over these characters that were once just in my mind, alone with me to tend to them. and to the if authors who have been here much longer, thank you for welcoming me with open arms. thank you to the group of if authors in particular who took me under their wing and gave me advice on how to handle things and how to move forward. you didn't have to come into my dm's and give me guidance or help me, but you did anyway and im eternally grateful!

I'm excited for 2024 to be the year that we really dive into the story. I still can't believe we're only 2 chapters in. it feels much longer, doesn't it? lololol

thanks!! <3

[paper-mario-wiki]

hi, i'm not the person who asked you about the life update, but could you elaborate on how being a creator means to live in a world of ideas instead of the real world? i'm just really curious about your reasons for quitting, specially because i want to create things in the future (not necessarily streaming, but anyways), hope you have a good day!

i'll be talking mostly about streaming for the sake of this answer, but this is similarly applicable across a wide range of platforms:

the job of the streamer is, effectively, to be the life of the party every single day. your goal is to be the person that has something interesting to talk about, and is quick with a joke, and has nuanced understandings of certain things, without actually obtaining any sort of "expertise" in anything lest you alienate viewers. short of having a stated goal for a stream, the only goal of the streamer is to let people relax with a voice they enjoy, saying things they like hearing. you can become very strong in different aspects of streaming, like in the production, or as someone who focuses more on a skill they've honed like art or speedrunning, but the demographic of streamers which pulls, by far, the most significant viewership, is personality based streamers.

this becomes more complicated when, for example, you are very interactive with chat, or you stream with multiple people at once. now, to maintain this charismatic sway you have (the one that got you the job in the first place), you must be able to adapt to and bounce off of other people, as you are now no longer performing alone. naturally, there's a need to not only manage your own flow of consciousness, but also to be at least partially in sync with someone else's.

beyond these complications, you must also consider drawing in new viewership. when i was a streamer, i was quite successful, relatively speaking. pulling 300 viewers consistently is something a very slim amount of streamers can actually do, and even then i was still making under 50k a year, which is not bad, but also not good. in paying for my apartment, my insurance, my travel fare, and all the other stuff that living independently draws money out of you with, i was more often in the red than i was in the green. hence, the need to draw in new viewers, which cannot be done without something eye-catching.

think about this: there are, at any given time, TENS OF THOUSANDS of streamers live in your native language on twitch, and they are all FREE TO WATCH. the attention market is sparse because the streamer market is oversaturated. and considering all of THEM want new viewers too, everyone is constantly refining and improving their craft, which requires everyone to move creatively in tandem with each other lest they get left behind.

if you are a streamer making ass-dollars and ass-cents, it becomes easy to begin resenting people like jerma, solely because everything he touches seems to turn to gold. i personally found it easy to feel very disappointed in myself when peoples projects that seemed so simple would take off. it was a constant "why didn't i think of that!" situation, at least for me. and when you don't have the energy to keep that up, or the social stamina necessary to figure that all out while also being upbeat and happy in front of people near daily, it can become very draining.

what i mean specifically when i say the "world of ideas", is like. there would be times where i could schedule out my failures weeks in advance. i'd be so in my own head about the process, i could see the exact path i could see myself taking that would lead me directly to ruin. how playing games i actually enjoyed would steadily drop viewership, or how focusing on my studies would make people forget about me. and of course this is augmented by my anxiety, i know this is absolutely not the case for every streamer, but that overwhelming feeling of needing to find a new game to play, or a new gimmick to use, or a new ploy to get money that doesn't make you feel guilty even though your source of income is mostly queer and mostly poor young adults and your rent is coming up and you're $200 short but you also just had a fundraiser last month about a DIFFERENT emergency but you cant make it a bummer or else people wont want to tune in so you have to make it something fun like "you laugh you lose!" or "$1 art request streams!" while feeling nothing but anxiety while youre trying to sound like youre enjoying yourself even when youre asking 250 people to donate every 30 minutes or so and nobody seems to want to and chat is moving slowly and. and and.

well, it starts to eat away at you.

[danikamariewrites]

Turning

Vampire!Eris x reader

Summary: Eris Vanserra, King of vampires in Prythian, and his bride-to-be celebrate her decision to truly spend forever together. @erisweek2023

A/n: I give you king vampire Eris and his very devoted queen! Eris week has been so much fun, I’ve loved reading everyone’s fics/hc/posts/blurbs, edits, and art! This fandom is so freakin talented and I’m so happy to be on here with you guys❤️ I decided to add links to pictures from Pinterest that I pictured while writing this so don’t forget to click on those besties

Warnings: blood, drinking blood, murder, and I wanna say suggestive

Walking through the garden the skirts of my night black gown dragged over the gravel, my hand outstretched to graze over the soft leaves of the maze of rose bushes I'm following. Reaching the center of the garden I take in the vivid colors of the flowers in the sun.

Closing my eyes I lift my head to take in the comforting embrace of the sun one last time. Tonight is my Turning Ceremony. When Eris proposed last month he gave me the choice of joining him for true eternity as a Vampire, or staying as just Fae until I faded into the After World.

I didn’t think Eris would be able to handle my passing after only a thousand years together. And I couldn’t let my love be heartbroken forever.

Deciding to take a reprieve from the sun I head further into the garden where the roses reside. The white roses are my favorite. Along with the white marble and stone gazebo Eris had built for me when I first moved to the castle.

He took me in when my village kicked me out after accusing me of my fathers murder. I wanted to go somewhere that no one would follow. There had been rumors about the castle on the edge of the dark wood. People were terrified of the place, not even looking in its direction if they could help it. But not me. I had come up with my own stories about the dark castle as a girl. So that’s where I went.

Mine and Eris’s relationship took time. But it was well worth the wait. The King shows me nothing but love and kindness.

I stop and smell the roses. They look so lovely, reflecting the sun's bright rays. I suppose the next time I see them they will look more gray. I have no problem giving up the day time. I was always more of a night owl anyways. My parents constantly struggled to get me to go to sleep at a proper time.

Sitting, I close my eyes again and listen to the creatures of the day. I smile to myself at the buzz of the bees, the rabbits rushing through the brush, and the birds calling to each other. Letting my unbound hair rest behind my shoulders, letting the warm breeze wash over me. Days feel busy but peaceful. It’ll be nice to sit out here at night with Eris. In a quieter peace.

A male behind me clears his throat, one of the Fae day servants. I turn to look at the male over my shoulder with a small smile, “Francis, how are you?” He returns your smile, “Well my lady. And you? Your big evening is coming up.”

“Excited. I just want it to go well. For Eris’s sake.” Francis nods in agreement. “Speaking of the King, he requests your presence in his study.” I stand and let Francis lead me back through the garden and through the iron gate back to the castle grounds.

—

When we reach the doors to Eris’s study Francis stands to the side, letting me take it from here. Knocking on the door I hear Eris’s gruff voice tell me to come in. He must be concentrating on something.

I gently swing the door open and close it quickly. The grand chandelier and candles are the only light source in the room. I notice Eris has the heavy, dark velvet curtains pulled tight against the windows, not wanting to let a sliver of daylight in.

Eris’s study is one of my favorite rooms in the whole castle. It just feels so…him. He has items from things he is interested in scattered amongst the shelves, maps from ages ago, books that look like they would turn to dust if you held them.

The sofas were quite comfortable as well. When I first started getting to know Eris, and was comfortable being around him alone, we spent many nights here just talking. Enjoying a drink or two until one of us would call it a night. Or a day in his case. Mine soon.

I step up the raised platform where his desk sits and stand next to him, laying a gentle hand on his shoulder. Eris perks up and smiles at me. He takes my hand from its resting place and places soft kisses all over the back of it. “My sweet, how are you feeling today?”

“Happy, my love.” Eris’s smile widens at my words. He was overjoyed when I told him I would turn for him. I don’t think I had seen that much emotion from him. Eris hadn’t stopped showing me that joy.

Eris pushed his chair back, patting one of his muscular thighs for me to sit on. I drape my arms around his shoulders and sit, resting my head on his chest. “Are you nervous at all?” I adjust my neck to look up at him and start to play with the ends of his long auburn hair that’s tied back today. “A little. I just want everything to be perfect is all.”

Eris hums. “It will be my sweet. I will be there with you every step of the way.” Eris brings his hand to cup the back of my neck. His thumb brushed over the small puncture scars from his fangs when he marked me as his. I shiver at the touch.

“Thank you, Eris.” He kisses the top of my head and stands, placing me on the ground as well.

Cupping my face with both hands he stares deeply into my eyes. “I love you so much, y/n. I don’t say this enough, but you have made me the happiest male in the whole world. And I’m so happy it is you who will be by my side forever.”

I feel tears prick at my eyes as Eris rests his forehead against mine. “Oh Eris, you make me so happy too.” I rise up on my toes and connect my lips to his in a short but passionate kiss. It pained me to pull apart from him but I must get ready for tonight. The party will start immediately after sundown and the other lords are already on their way.

“I have to go, my love. I’ll see you later.” Eris gives me one last parting kiss after walking me to the doors. As I walk down the hall towards my chambers I wring my hands to get out my nerves. Tonight would be perfect. And everything will be fine.

—

Ophelia finished pinning my hair up in a soft, romantic bun with a few strands of hair left loose in my face. When she moved away I turned to check my dress one last time. Staring straight at my reflection I smooth down my red silky dress.

“It’s time my lady.” Ophelia said in a sing-song voice. She holds my door open for me and I float out into the hall.

As I get closer to the ballroom the chattering of our guests gets louder and louder. I stop behind the closed double doors and wait to announced.

I take one last deep breath before putting a stoic look on my face. To show that I’m ready and willing to take this next step.

Eris’s lead advisor announces my arrival and the doors open. Revealing the crowd parted down the middle of the room. Eris’s throne has been moved in here for the occasion. He sits at the end of the makeshift aisle. A long blood-red carpet separating us.

He looks otherworldly in his white suit. The gold embellishments glinting in the candle light that surrounds him. Eris smiles at me, beckoning me forward. Giving me a look that says, you don’t need to worry my sweet it’s just you and me.

I take a step, then another and another. Remembering to pace myself. To not look too eager or too hesitant.

I finally reach Eris with a stupid grin plastered on my face. All stoicism melting away. Before I could kneel at his feet and expose my neck to him he stood.

There were scattered murmurs among the crowd. I couldn’t be bothered to worry about what anyone was saying. Not when Eris is holding my chin between his fingers and looking at me like I’m the only person in the room. “Remember,” he whispers, “I’m here every step of the way.”

I give him a small smile and nod. “Ready?” “Ready.”

Eris turns me to the crowd. As he gives his speech about this being the first Turning Ceremony in two hundred years and he’s glad to give the lords and his subjects to celebrate, I look around the room. I take in the vampire lords for the first time. They’re all so different. I’ll have to ask Eris more about the different courts if I’m to be his queen soon.

As Eris finishes his speech and my attention is brought back to him. He leans down to whisper in my ear. “You smell divine, my sweet. Sinking my fangs into you this evening will be even better than before.” Eris noses down my neck, taking in my scent.

He stops right at my puncture scar and licks. I start getting impatient and push my neck subtly at his mouth. He lets out a breathy chuckle that tickles my skin. “Someone’s eager.” You tsk at him. “Close your eyes and breathe.”

I do as he says in anticipation of the feeling of his fangs sinking into me. After a few more seconds that euphoric pain spreads through me. The intimate scene taking place in front of everyone causing my cheeks to have a pink tint. I bite my lip to hold my moans back.

Eris sucks and sucks and I feel something else. This pain is different than when Eris usually feeds on me. This was the venom Eris prepared me for. It was excruciating. My skin feels tight and clammy. My brain going fuzzy. I feel my canines expand and become sharper.

Eris releases me, wiping at the blood still trickling from my neck.

I can already feel the venom affecting me. Changing my needs and instincts. My mouth feels dry and my tongue heavy. Like a lump of sand I can’t swallow in the middle of my mouth. The mingling of different scents overwhelms me.

Before I know it Eris is sitting me on his throne and snapping at two guards off to the side of the room.

They bring in a Fae female dressed in simple dark robes and force her to her knees at my feet. She looks up at me, closes her eyes, and tilts her neck for me. She must be one of the many Children of the Blessed who sacrifice themselves for these rare rituals.

“For you, my sweet.” Eris says, his voice echoing around the still silent room. I can practically hear everyone holding their breath in anticipation. “Drain her and complete your Turning.” Eris backs away to stand with the court Lords.

I don’t need to be told twice. I grab the female on both sides of her face. I yank her towards me with my new found strength and lean down to sniff her neck. Just like Eris did to me. Her blood is the best thing I’ve smelt in my whole life. Better than any dessert or meal. Better than my favorite white roses.

Without a second thought I bite down into her supple skin and drink like I’m new to the world. The nameless female I drink from occasionally screams from the pain I’m inflicting on her. In the haze of my feeding I’m sure I tried to tell her to be quiet.

Once I feel her go limp I don’t stop. I can’t stop. Not until she’s dry. Not until I’m satisfied.

I can taste the last of her blood coming up. It reminds me of the last of the liquid left in a teapot. I detach myself from her, letting her body fall to the floor. Blood dribbles down my chin and onto my exposed chest. Looking up I search for Eris.

Eris was staring at me with piercing, wild eyes. The corners of his pale lips upturned in a wicked grin. He was looking at me like he had never seen something so beautiful. The sight of me covered in blood, committing myself even further to him brought him joy.

I started to wipe the female's blood from my chin, smearing it on my hands. Eris was before me in an instant. His pale slender hand wrapped around my wrist bringing my hand to his mouth to lick. To taste what my first drink tasted like.

A low growl came from his chest as his eyes closed. I fell forward, still a little weak from the venom and feeding for the first time. My bloody hands leave marks on his crisp white jacket.

Cheers erupt around us. Our guests ecstatic to have a new vampire in their midst. I smile up at my stunning fiancé. The love of my life. My King. I feel like I’m seeing him in a whole new light. Like he’s brighter, more clear.

My smile shows off my fangs and the blood coating my teeth. “Hi.” I whisper at him. The party was in full swing now. Our guests back to chatting and enjoying the music.

“Hello, my sweet.” Eris thumbs at the sharpness of one of my fangs. “You are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.” His voice smooth and deep.

“Shall we join the party?” He shakes his head a little, “Not yet. I want to admire you like this for a bit longer.”

[illarian-rambling]

Thanks for the tags @corinneglass and @diabolical-blue!

OC Interview

You know, I don't think I've ever done one of these for Ivander. Let's go with him!

Are you named after anyone?

"Not in particular, no. My family tends to cycle through the same old list of names, so there have been plenty of Ivanders before me, but I wasn't named after any specifically."

When was the last time you cried?

"Most nights, I can't help it. My curse puts me in a great deal of pain and when my medication wears off around midnight, I'm usually not doing great. It's nights like those that make me so awfully aware that my time is drawing to an end."

Do you have kids?

"Hell no, I'd probably forget to feed the tragic creature. I'm not putting any child through the trial that me raising them would undoubtedly ensue."

Do you use sarcasm a lot?

"If you have to ask, then you must be denser than you look."

What is the first thing you notice about people?

"As a detective, I'm trained to look for identifying marks. An odd tattoo, a birthmark, telltale scars from a certain trade. All can be very useful if one can remember them."

What’s your eye color?

"Blue. Most would describe them as slightly too blue to fall in the human range."

Any special talents?

"I'm good at remembering things. Who's been talking with whom, who's been clocking in late with bags under their eyes, who's been extra nervous when the time comes for a station audit - that sort of thing. Ceyrel, my partner, says I have a nose for drama, but I prefer to think that I simply like to keep tabs on my surroundings. And occasionally let other people in on my 'findings,' so to speak."

Scary movies or happy endings?

"I really couldn't say. I suppose it depends on what I'm in the mood for. If I'm with friends, scary movies are fine, but if I'm alone in my apartment, I prefer something sappy. Just don't tell Ceyrel that."

Where were you born?

"On a roof, believe it or not. I was told that my mother insisted. According to my uncle, she said it was an important tradition among her people that a baby's first sight be the sky above. In a rare show of magnanimity, my father allowed her to go through with her plan and brought up a midwife and tent to the roof of the Montane compound. And so there it happened. Apparently, it rained hard enough that no one could see the sky in the end anyways."

Do you have any pets?

"No. I can barely take care of myself - I'm not going to tie some animal to my fate. Especially not one that wants me petting it all the time."

How tall are you?

"5'8", but I walk with a stoop, so I seem shorter."

What was your favorite subject in school?

"I was never a fan of school. I did well enough and my tutors never remarked on my behavior, however, I didn't enjoy it. I suppose art, if I had to choose. I liked to paint as a boy, though I was never very good. I thought I might pick the hobby up again once I left home, but I never found the time."

What is your dream job?

"I'd say not having a job would be dreamy, but that's not true, I'd go mad with boredom. I like being a detective well enough. I have the seniority to where they don't make me go on patrol anymore, and sometimes I'll get a case that piques my interest. Really though, it's just a job. I do it, I get paid, I go home. When I joined ten years ago, I had some delusion of making the world a better place and atoning for my sins. However, the only place I ended up making better was the interior of some merchant councilmembers' homes. It's been so long that it's hard to care about such things now - that's how society works and there's no use fighting against it. But back on topic. If I really had to choose, I'd... I'd perhaps like to work in a tailor shop. I have a keen eye for style and I think the clientele would amuse me. Unfortunately though, I couldn't string a needle to save my life, and tailors don't make detective money. More's the pity."

I'll tag @somethingclevermahogony @goodluckclove @savvyminnow @sleepywriter00 and anyone else who wants to play :)

Blank questions below the cut

Are you named after anyone? When was the last time you cried? Do you have kids? Do you use sarcasm a lot? What is the first thing you notice about people? What’s your eye color? Any special talents? Scary movies or happy endings? Where were you born? Do you have any pets? How tall are you? What was your favorite subject in school? What is your dream job?

[diabolikpersonals]

I would like to hear your thoughts on the DF diaboys routes you have played at this point.

yessir!! under the cut:

Shu: Shu's DF route is an exercise in meeting him where he is. We know Shu loves his family, but we have to understand it isn't easy for him to show it. We're right at the precipice of a big change in Shu and Reiji's relationship, but we have to accept that acting the way Reiji wants him to just isn't what's best for Shu. Yui wants confirmation of Shu's affection for her, but she has to learn that he shows his affection in other ways. It's kind of like this route is showcasing Shu's flaws and you're going, "That's okay! I like Shu because he's Shu!" so I think it's sweet. Take your time, Shu! ...If I had to complain about this route, I'd say that we spend so long away from the other characters that it gets lonely. I guess that's the point, though...I just don't really find all the "hiding from everyone else" scenes very exciting after a while. We could've spoken to Reiji more, and I honestly feel like Shu and Reiji have bigger breakthroughs in other routes, so this one feels like it's missing a big scene with the Beatrix bros.

Ayato: If you had asked me when I had just played HDB and MB, I would have told you, "Never in a MILLION YEARS will I feel anything other than hatred for Cordelia," but well!!! Surprise!!! This one will make you feel things other than hatred for Cordelia, whether you like it or not. I truly understand how the triplets felt when they said they loved and hated her. The situation is too complicated for me to get into it very much here, but in short I'll say that I really liked the direction they took with the plot of this route, and I came out of it feeling like Ayato and Yui took a well-earned step forward. Absolutely loved this one. So proud of both of them. Whenever I play through the DF Sakamaki prologue, it makes me feel cruel if I don't pick Ayato's route lmao

Laito: If you are an angst lover like me then you will eat this shit up. It's an extremely bad time for every character involved. It hurt so good. I had to spend 70% of this route convincing Laito not to kill himself. In this route, Laito discovers a fact about his father that changes his outlook on his entire life, like every single thing about his life, and the performance that Daisuke Hirakawa gives is like.. It's pure art idk what to tell you. Reading this route is not good enough, you need the audio. I was scared, I wanted to cry, and as a triplet lover there were high points too, but my heart ached for the entire route, even through the good ending! I like that even the obligatory fanservice scenes don't let you forget how terrible the situation is! Strongly strongly strongly recommend

Yuma: Alas, I can only give you a super biased review of this one. It's my favorite route because it has so many good Shu/Yuma scenes. This route is our last bit of "Shu avoids Yuma and keeps secrets from him for his own good!" drama before Yuma finally gets the whole truth about his childhood. We get the cute flashback scenes, Yuma gets some awful nightmares and has some panic attacks, there's a little of everything! :D Even Zweig is there and he and Yuma are super cool, and if you know anything about Lost Eden then you know how hilarious that is. Anyway, this all culminates in THE YUMA BEST FRIEND MONOLOGUE which is one of my favorite dialovers scenes, period, because it makes me so happy. It feels soooo good to watch the arson recovery trio...recover from the arson. 10/10. Shuuma shippers, this one is required reading.

Carla: I'm definitely not shaming you if this route is to your taste, but it certainly wasn't to mine :') Most diaboys talk down to you, but Carla talks down to you to such a degree that I started getting offended over stuff I've never been offended about before. Like, "What do you mean you don't like the taste of my blood?! My blood is fucking delicious!" lol. I am not into all the forced pregnancy stuff, I am not into the demon racism stuff, I am not into how often Yui is reminded that she has no family and no one will come save her. I personally found Carla to be unbearable until he collapsed and started the process of dying. Then he got all sensitive and lonely and I was like "ok I can deal with him now." The ending isn't very satisfying either (What do you mean sucking Yui's blood will stop him from dying for now? He's been sucking her blood this whole time and his symptoms got way worse.) and Carla's blood sucking noises made me want to take my headphones off and throw them away (sorry toshiyuki morikawa I respect you so much toshiyuki morikawa) soooooooooo.........I didn't like it. I grew to like Carla around CL so don't be sad if you like him, ok? He's my friend now, but this route is still just unpleasant to me hgfghsdf

Shin: I know I said I hated the forced pregnancy talk and the demon racism plans and I did hate them, believe me, but Shin's route was successful in getting me to like him. I love that they put him in jail and beat the shit out of him, that was such a good scene and I really feel like my tastes are finally being represented lmao. Because it's his introductory route, he's pretty rough around the edges (true for every diaboy���everyone is a huge jerk in their introductory route) but there was still a lot to enjoy! The flashback scenes were fun (dare I say...he was...cute?!) and when put together with Carla's, the Tsukinamis have a super interesting story & dynamic together, and it fits the themes of dialovers really well. The differences with Carla's route, to me at least, are that Shin's scenes feel more like "playing with a diaboy" even when he gets mean, Shin has the added appeal of being teasable and of being a BIG FLUFFY DOG, and of course, Shin's blood sucking scenes didn't make me want to die. I'm clearly in the minority here, though, because Shin is at the bottom of every popularity poll I see lol...Anyway, it didn't make me LOSE MY SHIT like some other routes did, but I had fun playing this one!!

[allastoredeer]

I just read your entire Just Kiss Already series up to the latest one with the huge fight between the two and ARGH you write them both so well!! Especially Lucifer, his anxiety and stumbling-through-his-words dialogue that makes him oh so relatable to me are perfect. And as an English Language and Literature graduate who's not a native English speaker, your writing has some GREAT vocabulary and phrases I absolutely love.

As someone aroaceage myself (on all 3 spectrums not 100% completely aromantic, asexual, or agender, just FYI since people forget it's a spectrum and then attack me way too often and now I'm wary) it's so refreshing to see another aroace person writing Alastor with his "I hate personal space invasion" attitude that I share. I strictly hate giving up my privacy and your explanation for how Al feels makes so much sense (and also makes me feel like I won't be friendless my whole life, so thanks :') if Alastor can end up with someone despite hating intimacy and if Lucifer can despite being awkward and desperate then damn. Maybe so can I). Oh, and Vox being the pathetic desperate wet tissue he is is soo entertaining. I don't babygirl-ise characters often but he's just so. Fun to watch embarass himself. I can't help it.

I came to your blog just to say this but got a lot of RadioApple discourse that I'm honestly a bit intimidated by since I wasn't aware of all this happening at all, I just follow a very select few creators and now I don't know whether I'm doing something wrong. Personally I don't care much about top/bottom dynamics (except in certain situations) so I'm just confused and worried lol. And what's with the outfits and likes??? I'm out of the entire loop. But I'm glad conversations are happening when they should!

Anyway, I canNOT wait for more from your series, wherever it goes. I'd draw fanart or write fics in your AU with your permission but I'm currently having every creative block known to humanity for several years. Somehow.

I usually comment on AO3 itself but you connected your Tumblr after every chapter so it felt right to come here, even tho I'm not too active on social media sites. I hope you don't mind my mostly-unrelated rambles. All the kudos to your fics!

First and foremost: You aren't doing anything wrong.

It's fine if you're out of the loop. There's really no loop to begin with. It's just some fandom tropes and characterizations a handful of us don't enjoy seeing and we're ranting about it LOL If you like any of those tropes or characterizations, or follow people who make art/fics with them, there's nothing wrong with that either. There's no need to be worried, you're doing just fine 😊

Secondly, THANK YOU!!!

I don't think anyone is 100% ace, aro, or agender, it's a spectrum, afterall. There's no meter you have to reach to be considered 100% a sexuality, you just are :) If you say you're ace, aro, or agender, that's what you are, and anyone who wants to argue about it can go kick rocks.

I base a lot of how I write Alastor's aceness on myself, so hearing people say they feel the same is just (;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`) It's so amazing to hear. I'm a very private person and I like my personal space; I'm not a very physically touchy person, and thankfully, I have an amazing friend (who's love language is physical touch and affection) who knows and understands this and doesn't touch or hug me without permission - I love her so much T.T

Vox is such a pathetic wet tissue and that's what I love about him

(づ￣ ³￣)づ I wanna give him a little kiss on his big, flat forehead.

I'm so happy you're enjoying my fics and relating to them so much. I don't think there's a higher compliment an author can get than their readers saying that they saw themselves in the story and characters. It's such an amazing feeling, it makes me all warm and tingly inside.

Once your creative block lets up - whenever that may be - you have my full permission to draw and write as much as you want in my AU.

Thanks for visiting my tumblr!! Sorry you felt intimidated by the discourse, that's not fun. Just know that you're not doing anything wrong, and whatever fandom content you engage with is perfectly fine and you shouldn't feel bad about enjoying it ^.^ Fandom is escapism and we're all here to have a good time.

Thank you for your rambles!! I enjoyed reading them!!

[heatherhpogson]

Week One: Good Omens "The Flaming Sword"

First, I want to take this moment to dedicate this artwork to the Good Omens community, to @neil-gaiman (and co-writer Sir Terry Pratchett R.I.P), to the cast and crew of Good Omens, and to @goodomensonprime. Thank you for inspiring me to create this year. Enjoy the journey.

25+ hours in the making, I've finally finished my first artwork of the year! Since this is a series, this is number 1 out of 52! If you want this on your computer screen, check out my link tree! (If I did this right, it should be linked on the photo. Spoken by a Tumblr noob).

This took a lot longer than I originally thought, but I was having so much fun trying different things. I'm unsure if it's always going to be like this, fun that is, but it is a 52 week challenge. Eek! Did I get myself into deep waters?

Anyway, about the scene and why I chose it...

I think a lot of people like this exchange between Crowley and Aziraphale. It's the first time we're meeting them. Crowley inquires about Aziraphales's missing flaming sword and the poor angel is ashamed to say he gave it away! When Crowley hears this tidbit of information, he appears to be amused. (I was too).

I like this exchange because they don't despise each other. They just accept one another in each other's presence. When Aziraphale covered Crowley with his wing, it solidified my eyes to the screen. I had to see what was going to happen throughout the rest of the show. An angel and a demon? Friends?

The 25+ Hour Journey...

I am not a digital artist, or even a professional artist. I just do this for fun (and sometimes torture). So, when I declared to myself this challenge of doing fan art every week, I was thinking, "this is going to help me improve my art! It's going to be fun." Hmm...Sure, Heather. Fun. Turns out, fun was going to be secondary as I kept running into challenges!

We were sick over the holidays, and to get a good start on this very serious project, I decided to start early. Little did I know when I closed my art program for the weekend everything I worked on for the day would vanish. Poof! Into the nether. Sigh... don't worry, I learned my lesson. Save frequently. Seems common knowledge, but when you have kiddos constantly beckoning you, you sort of forget if you saved.

Then, I decided to color Aziraphale's eyes. Since Crowley's eyes were already a beautiful shade of yellow, Aziraphale needed the same sort of love. Only, as I re-watched the show, it wasn't clear what color his eyes were! They changed from blue to honey in a matter of seconds! So, I played around with it and came up with something I rather liked a lot.

So, despite my mini hardships, I had did have fun with this piece. I usually don't draw backgrounds, but since I want to do more personal artwork of my own characters, I'm trying hard to learn composition.

The end result might not be a masterpiece, but it still means something to me, and I hope it will mean something to others. Don't forget to download this for your computers, let me know if you like it, and have a happy week! Bonne journée!

[fordtato]

YES. So I'm not the only one that has MANY things to say about Return to the Bunker. I was super hyped up for this this before, but then for the whole 32 minutes of watching I was like "...are you even serious? c'mon!"

This thing felt less like a Gravity Falls episode and more like a big Ford Hate Party. Wtf?! He had a few interactions with Mabel in the series, but literally ALL of them were positive, since she never talked about her issues directly to Ford (not trying to blame her, I love Mabel with all my heart). And here Ford's straight up a huge ass to her. Not wearing a sweater in the summer (HE LITERALLY DOES?!), telling her in the face he doesn't trust her, acting like spending any time with her is wasteful and a scar on his honor (?). Dudes, did we really watch the same Gravity Falls with the same characters? Ford can (and is) be dramatic and too serious sometimes, but he's also silly, fun and adventurous! And it's SHOWN in the series! And he loves the twins more than anything!

But let's get to the thing I have the biggest problem with. The way Ford's trust issues were treated. Guy's been through hell and back. Every person in his whole life that was his close friend, ended up stabbing him in the back (from his perspective). He literally spend 30 years all by himself, FORCED to trust only himself, because trusting someone else might have ended up in him being dead. Now he's barely back home, everything is new and complicated and dangerous, there's the rift, there's Bill being a huge thread, there's his relationship with Stanley, there's his house turned into a mockery of the only thing he was ever proud of, AND this guy still stays relatively calm and collected. Now you're also expecting him to suddenly forget about 30+ years of trauma he experienced and trust people he barely knows (Soos, Wendy) with his worst fear?! And you're punishing him for being jumpy, terrified and paranoid, when he has all the reasons to act such way?! And what's with the scene when he gets on his knees and in teary tone admits that just a sad, lonely boy, but now thanks to Mabel and her friends he might change? Like, sir? Are you the Ford Pines we know? Pre-weirdmageddon afraid-to-his-death prideful and emotionally withdrawn Ford Pines? And then he "learns" absolutely nothing AND ERASES THEIR MEMORIES WITH A MEMORY GUN?? WHAT THE FUCK? I barely forced myself to watch until the very end, because I wanted to scream. You think that Ford, WHO IS A VICTIM and was against the memory gun for most of his life unless absolutely crucial, who had to erase his brother's whole personality and the only reason he remained relatively sane after that was because said brother's memories were brought back, would EVER erase memories of his own twelve year old niece and her friends, RIGHT AFTER BEING ALL OPEN HEARTED and admitting he was wrong?! I can't. I'm sorry. I got all emotional.

Mabel's not really Mabel. Ford's definitely not Ford. Stan was... well, weird, but I could maybe go with that? The B plot was better anyway. The only one that remained more or less close to their canon characterisation was Soos. Even McGucket didn't really click.

ALSO. Ford's relationship with Fiddleford in this one. Wtf. Ford, who mourned what happened between him and his former best friend for years, who had a fucking "I'm sorry Fiddleford" as one of his thoughts on mind reading machine, and who, after seeing him for the first time during Weirdmageddon was all regretful and sad, in this episode is, again, an ass to him?! And their meeting, for the first time in 30 years, is not really a big deal? Ooof.

I'm angry. I didn't like it at all and I thought I'm the only one, because all of the comments are so happy and enthusiastic. I'm glad I'm not alone. It's really not good. Well, it had good moments. I laughed REALLY hard during that dating show with the shapeshifter and a few jokes had me chuckling, and, as you said, the art is really great and you can see all the time and passion that went into it. But the plot itself... I guess it's supposed to be canon complaint. It makes it even worse. The writers really hate Ford, don't they? Eh.

Sorry for the dump. I don't know what's gotten into me. I was so excited for it, a beginner's mistake, I guess.

It felt, personally, like the writers greatly misunderstood (or did not interpret from series as I did) which qualities of Ford, Mabel, McGucket and Soos made these characters loveable and made the show work.

The script of this fan project, at times, seemed specifically antagonistic to the source material, to these characters, and to the motivations these characters held.

I am not trying to shit on something people loved, but I did not enjoy the writing at all.

[randomrabbidramblings]

A "little" bit regarding Phantom

Here's the analysis I've wanted to do (for a long time, actually) about everyone's favourite bastard opera bunny.

Minor spoiler for The Last Spark Hunter!

TLTR in meme form:

While my zero expectations to find the Phantom in this DLC were met (even if to be honest for more than a minute I tought Allegra's friend was going to be him, lol), I was hoping for another cameo. And Ubisoft delivered!

Sailing around the Ruins you can find this very creepy... giant plush half buried in the sand? Is that a reference to the real life Phantom puppet? Did Phantom's megalomaniac ass commission this? Creepy factor aside, I love that he looks like he's wearing eyeliner! Phantom wears makeup canon yesdonteventrytofightmeonthis!

Anyway, I'm not the only one that thinks Beep-0's comment is highly sus. Even in the tone he's using sounds like the devs behind are being so proud of their troll. Maybe I'm just overthinking as usual and that dialogue is just Beep-0's seething hatred towards Phantom, but... That, paired with everything else going on... it doesn't convince me.

Phantom does have his fair amount of reasons he could make a real return song and all, there are a lot people wanting him back (not only in the fandom) and he's also Soliani's favourite boss who, let's not forget, waited 20 years to make a boss like him. It would be a wasted opportunity to only use him once. Since Donkey Kong Adventure featured Rabbid Kong, who was one of the two main bosses that did not unmerge after defeat (the Bwah Trio didn't unmerge too, but they were mini bosses), it wouldn't be so odd to see Phantom having a DLC too (after all a lot of people thought he was going to be the final boss of Kingdom Battle after his feature trailer). Let's not forget this time he has a juicy chance for another diss track. To Rayman and his decennary absence in the videogame scene. Another thing: we still don't know anything about the third DLC villain. This may be a bit of a stretch, but hear me out. When the posters for the three DLCs were published, Ubisoft gave us very little info about The Last Spark Hunter, but we knew there was a new enemy. The only thing they told us about the third DLC is that Rayman will be in it. Now they gave us a teaser, info about the general setting, but still no villain. This makes me think that there will not be a new villain, but someone we already met.

I don't think the cameos, the updates to his shenanigans, the grammophone sitting right there in the third DLC poster and the last almost blatant bit of foreshadowing in the Melodic Gardens were put there for nothing. And be honest, at this point who wouldn't want to see Beep-0's reaction to Phantom after all the hate he has been expressing towards him? All of this make a lot of sense. Almost too much sense to not see him return. The funny thing is if he shows up wearing Cursa's broken mask (a fan theory, but far too appropriate to rule out) it means they have been foreshadowing his return since Sparks of Hope released.

Personally I'd be happy even if he had a very minor role, like an NPC with a quest. Or even a little cameo in person, just to see him in Sparks of Hope style since he seems like he's changed a bit since Kingdom Battle (canonically he can remove the grammophone from his belly and apparently he wears makeup). I hope they'll keep his fourth wall breaking abilities even if it's just for advertising the DLC or to justifiy his appearence, as we know he's well aware of the developers (and, as expected, he sounds like he has a bit of beef with them as one of his unusued lines says "I'll have the art director's head for this", lol).

The thing that worries (and at the same time excites) me the most is the dubbing work they'd have to do for him. Since now all Rabbids are fully voiced (and in a lot of languages too) and assuming an hypotethical song will not be dubbed (as I think they'd do), I'm very curious about how they would manage Phantom as he has a very characteristic tone and accent and everyone knows his voice as he wasn't dubbed at all in Kingdom Battle. I do think it would be epic if they managed to get an actual singer for every language, but... it would be a bit too much in terms of everything, at Ubisoft they are madmen, but not like that, lol.

In all this there's still that one unusued idea where the Phantom was going to change music genre as his battle progressed. Who knows maybe it will be the right time we hear the metal song Soliani has been threatening Kirkhope with all this time, lol.

The only reason I can think of that makes everything crumble, would be if Beep-0's lines about Phantom's cameo were a result of an oversight, like it seems to have happened with Allegra (her memory states that she can change the colour of her skin depending on the "mood" of the planet, but it's never shown in game nor in her backstory). Or, perish the thought, it's just a placeholder as to say: "if we can make him appear again, good that was foreshadowing, if we cannot, we told you" to save thier buttcheeks in case they'll not bring him back. Even if I highly doubt Ubisoft would do such a thing after making everyone suspect a foreshadow.

Foreshadowing or not: if he will not appear in something like a poster, a teaser or a full on trailer, this doesn't mean he will not be there. Remember they pulled this thing too in Kingdom Battle where the devs said he was purposefully left out of the poster with the bosses as they didn't want to spoil him (even if then they released a feature trailer for him, but... idk, marketing shenanigans I assume, lol).

As a conclusion, take all of this infodump as a theory, there's no real evidence to definitively assume Phantom will return any time soon. I don't want to influence people to think he'll come back and then have them disappointed because he didn't. This is just my thoughts on the topic. And don't think I'll be disappointed if Phantom doesn't show up because, while I am biased, I'm not only looking forward to that.

[residentraccoon]

Ok we have all the songs, time to make a top, with comments even 😳

1. Norway - I love love love this one, this eerie, thrilling melody mixed with the medieval theme and old norwegian language just makes this song perfect and no other song of this year can come any closer to it. Very unique, true to their homeland, absolute masterpiece. I'm definitely following more of Gåte's discography from now on!

2. Estonia - Well they're singing about drugs here and this song is exactly like a drug - addictive. What sells it is their awesome, slightly batshit crazy energy (I absolutely love it) and let's not forget the traditional instruments. I can see a Trenulețul scenario with this one tbh.

3. Slovenia - Absolutely magical, the structure of this song is pretty uncommon and the lil RRAH sounds are interesting, love how it takes a while to build-up and I just get chills all over. This one is a piece of art.

4. San Marino - This song is destroying my Spotify wrapped and it's not even funny, there's something about this one that makes it instantly addictive. I've listened to Megara since last year when they were at Spain's NF with Arcadia and all I can say is that I love their style. Sassy pink and punk rock with a touch of Spanish traditional sounds during the bridge, they just mesh together so well. I don't understand why it's so underrated (currently last in the odds lmfao) and I'm looking forward to their live performance.

5. Denmark - Generic pop song my beloved, why is it so catchy though? I've said it in a previous post, I just reminds me of songs I'd hear in 2013 or so and I love the "Oh-Oh" parts. Lovely

6. Lithuania - The beat hits, it's just awesome fr. Lovely staging and colors, Lithuanian sounds so pretty and melodic as well as his voice.

7. Belgium - Wonderful build-up, the song at first sounds very chill and gives me Blanche vibes (I looked it up and they have the same composer so not surprised lmao) but man, the climax is greaaaaat!! Especially with that choir in the backing. My only gripe would be that he keeps repeating the title over and over again, which can become a bit tiring. But just a bit. It's still a great song!

8. Switzerland - I don't know whose idea was to mix opera and drum n bass together but they're a genius, this is really cool, like absolutely nuts. I love how the bridge is very soft and quiet, opposing the loud and dramatic chorus, I feel like the song itself is pretty messy and inconsistent but I really like that, it's very out of the box and innovative. Genius entry.

9. Latvia - Underrated, I can see why it might fail to grab an audience in the fandom but I really like this one, especially his voice. The song flows nicely too, I only wish the staging would be a bit more...dynamic though? I really want Latvia to qualify for once, felt like it might have a chance since it could attract some casual viewers (some of my casual friend watchers really liked it!) but seeing how brutal semifinal 2 is (and one spot will be inevitably taken by...yeah won't elaborate) I'm afraid Latvia's out for this year as well. I hope at least for a surprise or who knows. That's only how I feel at this moment.

10. Spain - My biggest grower of this year and a total banger, I don't understand why it slaps so hard it has no business to, the message is SO real and it's so unapologetically sassy.

11. Czechia - Same story as with Latvia, underrated to hell and back, I know the live version is...a lil terrible but the studio one I really like. Love how you can feel the frustration through her shouty lyrics and how she's blaming herself for not loving herself more instead (also the beginning might or might not remind me of Aijā I mean the intro with the drums makes me think of it-) ANYWAY

12. Croatia - Listen I'm very happy for Croatia being seen as a most likely winner of this year, they deserve it, Baby Lasagna is an amazing man and the message is on point, even if it's not exactly my favorite I definitely root for him!! Please meow back if you agree. Besides this, the glam ethno rock sound is just 👌 chef's kiss

13. Armenia - Love love love that they brought something ethnic!! The girl's energy is infectious and she's such a joy to watch, the music video is very pretty and describes their culture so well, overall I adore this.

14. Netherlands - GREAT I relistened to it so I can rank it and now I have Europapapapapapa stuck in my head how wonderful. This tells me already that this is such an infectious bop that will never leave your head. Possible televote winner, love the quirkiness and Joost is really goofy we stan.

15. Greece - Welcome to Greece, everyone who visits the country is obligated to listen to this the moment they step out of the plane- /j It's so Greek, so fun, so ethnic, geez what's happening with everyone being so diverse and true to their culture this year? This song screams summer vacation in Greece and I'm here for it.

16. France - The raw emotions in this...he sings with his heart and soul, his voice is very deep and gruff which feels a bit unusual to hear such an intimate and emotional ballad from him, but this is what makes the song special.

17. Italy - Love her attitude and how she sells the song, it's very sassy and fun, won't be surprised to see Italy get yet another Top 5 finish with this.

18. Ukraine - Interesting mix of melancholic pop and energetic chanting and rap. Alyona just nails the rap part perfectly. Overall nice song, grew off me but still great.

19. Ireland - This makes me have chills all over my body. It's very haunting and suspenseful, I love the uncommon unique sound and how they recite the lyrics as they are a poem/creating a curse, I simply love how avant-garde Ireland are this year! Finally they're taking a risk and even if the song is unconventional i hope it will have a following that will help them get through the semi! 🤞

20. Poland - Oh look another grower, it's such a cute song for some reason and her voice is so pleasant to the ears.

21. Serbia - At first I thought it's a bit boring but now I find myself mumbling "Lila Ramondaaaa", like it has a hook even if it's a melancholic ballad.

22. Portugal - The emotions in this are immaculate, she conveys all her struggles in life so well into a ballad that's somewhat soft-sounding. Epic.

23. Australia - For some reason this song takes me back to 2015-2016 and I don't get why?? Maybe I heard music that's similar to this in that period, who knows. That chorus slaps immensely, as well as the didgeridoo(I hope that's the instrument), but I'm not extremely head over heels about it. It's enjoyable still!

24. Malta - Contrary to popular belief I enjoyed the revamp, she made it easier to sing live and it just has more oomph, good job, Malta.

25. Finland - The whole 3 minutes are absolutely batshit insane and I love it fr, these dudes are a delight to watch. The song tbh I like it but not that much to rank it higher, but I appreciate the craziness, the message, what sells it is definitely the staging and the guys' stage persona.

26. Austria - Mmmmm I know it's a fan favorite but I'm not a big fan of this, like I've said before in some other posts. The hype at first was highly irritating (especially on twitter, dear god 💀) for such a...just okay/good song? First of all I appreciate the throwback to the late 90s/early 00s eurodance/synthpop music that was popular back then, I think it does a great job imitating the vibes of it, but at the same time is it just me or this song feels so...calculated and has this eurovision-specific formula in its structure/sound? It was definitely made for it being performed live and to pander to the yass queen slay ate and left no crumbs-side of the fandom? Which honestly kinda drags it down a lot for me.

27. Sweden - I can't unhear parts of Air in this, well actually that's their style, neat electro pop tbh, I can bop to this, pretty enjoyable.

28. Moldova - Falls flat but what makes it a bit stronger is the vocalisations in the chorus, as well as the lil ethnic sounds. That drum is also quite catchy. They have to pull out a wonder-staging for this to qualify.

29. Georgia - If Georgia isn't qualifying with this one then that means their only hope is borrowing Loreen at this point. It's a competent girl bop with powerful vocals, that has a dedicated following, but I appreciate that even if it's a girl bop it's not so aggressively in your face like...other examples I've seen before. I'm personally not big on it, but it's nice.

30. Azerbaijan - Oh? Azerbaijan sends something in their language, what is this 2050? And not with a melfest reject? For the 2nd year in a row? I'm very impressed, but even with all these I don't feel that attached to the song, just glad they took a risk instead of renting a swede for safe qualification like they did in the past years. I love the ethnic touches though.

31. Luxembourg - Cute and peppy french bop, although a bit generic and that's about it, no strong feelings.

32. Cyprus - Mmm your regular girlie pop of the year, unsurprisingly from Cyprus as well. Pretty catchy, has a cool vibe but I'm not feeling anything about it.

33. United Kingdom - Just a competent mid-tempo boy bop, honestly nothing much to say since it kinda failed to impress me. Good effort though.

34. Albania - I don't get why they changed it into english, why they turned it more upbeat (I liked the balladier version more) and the rap part feels disjointed. Albania wanted to relive their 2016-2017 era I see.

35. Germany - I'm sorry but this song bores me to death and can't listen to it without zoning out which is a shame because he's a competent singer (his voice is the best thing about Germany this year) and I'm afraid they're again heading for a bottom 3 finish 💀

36. Iceland - Mmm this isn't is, Iceland. Very sorry. Sounds like it would get 13th in 2004, it's a very by-the-letters eurodance.

I will not rank Israel here. It's still mind-boggling that they're still allowed to participate.

[goldenteaset]

(I know I've posted this official art before but I don't care, it fits the occasion)

It's my 1 year yume-versary with Belial today! I felt like being a hopeless romantic (especially after seeing this art again), so I wound up thinking about the process of how this happened. And while it's 99% coincidences that make me happy, when put together like this they do form a love story...

While I got into GBF because of him, the actual act of falling for him "as myself" (for lack of a better way to put it) was a lot longer. Four years, in fact! It was half "I just like him with Djeeta and Lyria better" and half "Nah, he wouldn't like *me*, I'd be too shy".

Cue 2022. XD;

By which I mean, I'm not sure when in summer it started, but all of a sudden he kept showing up in my dreams (as Oribe, his semi-canon school AU self). "Oh cool, that hasn't happened before", I thought, thinking nothing of it. It seemed a good reason to write him and Djeeta in a similar setting; I'd take it.

And then I started noticing that Djeeta wasn't involved. "Well, maybe she's there but I'm seeing things from her POV this time"... ^^;

Months before the Oribe dreams, I kept dreaming about Summer Belial months before we got the Summon, which is funny anyway, but those were still focused on Djeeta. My subconscious really wanted me to have fun with Oribe/Belial, and it was going to bludgeon me until I did. At the same time, two things happened:

A particularly powerful dream about Oribe!Belial where he really wanted to take a selfie with me and kept insisting "I want to see your face, don't hide~"

The "Belial advice column for GBFest" appeared

The former was A Lot, but the latter was easily compartmentalized: "Just write the letter as if you're part of GBF's world". It took a few tries, because I had to remember kafabe (i.e. these letters were being sent to "Belial", not the devs), but I did it!

I burbled about how he'd always gotten me out of writer's block, because of course, and made absolutely sure not to overthink my heart racing while imagining sending it in canon. It was in English, down to the pen name "Shy Writer", and knew it probably wouldn't get picked for the GBFest segment.

"Just the fantasy is enough," I thought, forgetting what "yume" meant.

Fast forward to Jan 2023!

GBFest is here, it's fun whether you're there in person or not...and I'm catching up on Day 1's stream after falling asleep. ^^; I found the "Belial answers fanmail" segment and was just enjoying the spectacle. Here's a video of it separate from the massive stream one:

Someone had sent in something about being shy/nervous about who they liked, very likely him. (Also they called him "Beli-chan", which is adorable.) Belial read it normally, but his response (at 4:13, yes I've kept track of it)...well...

He let out probably the deepest, sultriest chuckle we've heard from him yet, which is saying a lot, and then added "'Shy'? How cute (kawaii ne)~."

Again: it's all coincidence, of course. Just a lot of convenient circumstances that eventually lined up into a fantasy narrative that makes me happy.

But boy did it not matter in that moment, when I felt like a tsundere who'd been found out after a whole season of UST. XD

It felt like there wasn't any need to deny it anymore. Nor to make excuses that were never going to hold up, as long as I kept denying that sense of fun to my own detriment. Or, to be extra sappy about it--it was as if Belial had been seducing me throughout '22 to the beginning of '23 and had now finally gotten the point across to my very dense self-insert/OC.

I've been enjoying myself a lot since then--going out more, trying new hobbies, just being happier in general. Could that have happened without this as a push? Maybe. But it didn't happen until I "had food at home", so to speak, which feels telling.

I think we as a species need space in our heads for imagination and play, and that varies from person to person. Along with writing, mine just happens to be (day)dreaming about the Primarch of Cunning acting like a bird of paradise and/or seducing me and my self-insert OC into semi-reasonable sleep schedules.

So, yeah. Happy anniversary, Belial. May there be many more!

[kiefbowl]

kief i think im a loser no one ever wants to be my friend and it makes me cry once a year at least. I cant remember the last time i had a friend. All my phone log history is just calls or texts from my mom every couple weeks. Its just hard for me to make friends.

It can be hard making friends, you have to put yourself out there in a scary way and sometimes you don't get returns on it, which is never fun.

I don't think having no friends makes you a loser. I think it shows great resilience to keep on trucking when you're missing this vital part of your life.

I can't magic friends for you, though I wish I could, but I could offer some advice making adult friends that hopefully might help you feel better:

Put yourself in places and situations where you have to meet people. Yes, you could go to a bar or coffee shop and hope to strike up a conversation, but don't forget to look outside the box. An art class, a volunteer opportunity, a local debate - who knows. The important thing is that people will never materialize inside your house, so you have to go where the people are.

Don't forget to be interesting :) That's to say, you're definitely already interesting, you have thoughts, opinions, personal history that makes you interesting...but sometimes getting to that level of intimacy takes some time. So be open about your hobbies and weird niche knowledge! Maybe you think no one wants to hear your obsession with whatever thing, but it's not true. The more you talk about it with people you know and strangers, the more practice you get at talking about it in a way that is casual conversation friendly. And sometimes it'll always be a miss with some people, oh well you'd probably never click with them anyway. The second side of this is to keep pursuing things you like and make you happy, the more skills, hobbies, and knowledge you're pursuing (just pursuing, you don't have to be an expert to be interesting!), the more you have to talk about. The fall back of course if you're thinking "but I'm a big loser who doesn't do or know anything" (you're not) is that watching a tv show, a movie, or reading a book is something every one "gets", so make sure you're prioritizing time to do these fun activities a couple times a week because the more you see and read, the more chance you have to meet someone who's also seen it or read it.

When you meet someone you like, don't be coy. If you're worried about coming on too strong, a good exercise is to think about someone you don't know well telling you they really like you and want to get to you know. How would you want to be told? What would actually come off too strong? What might be odd but forgivable, especially if they seemed nervous? What would actually have to be said that would be an absolute no-starter? You probably have a lot more patience for fictional strangers, so it's worthwhile to assume lots of real life strangers will be patient with you. Plus, everyone likes having friends! People are more often than not very flattered to hear a nice person likes them. I think a good opener is something that's direct, like this: "I've enjoyed meeting you. I'd like to get to know you better, I think we could be really good friends."

When asking people to be friends, invite them to do something and don't be vague or put off details. Don't say: "Let's get coffee sometimes." Do say: "Do you want to get coffee with me tomorrow?" Don't say: "We should go see a movie next week!" Do say: "I want to go see X movie, are you available Saturday to come with me?" If the first response is a "Oh that doesn't work for me," then suggest an alternative plan. If they can't commit to an activity or time, just drop it, they're probably just trying to be nice or something else is going on. But the truth is the reason why when you say "we should hang out sometime!" and they say "yeah!" and then nothing ever happens is not because no one wants to be friends with you, but because everyone is bad at this. Vague plans are easy to agree to without lying, and everyone wants to protect themselves. But there's relief when someone takes the burden of planning off their shoulders.

If you're seeking long term, deep friendships, just know it takes time and it takes vulnerability. It's okay to have only a handful of fairweather friends to start. They're not false, per se, they just serve a different need. They're fun friends. But fun friends can become deep friends with effort and time. If you meet someone you only sorta connect with on some things, you don't have to write them off. Maybe you'll never be deeply entwined in each other lives, but having someone to get lunch with a few times a year can be a nice touchstone in your life. Let the friendship unfold, and that can be enjoyable in itself.

My final advice is: when you're feeling down, remember I'm rooting for you :) one stranger to another, I understand the struggle. You're lonely, but you're not alone, I promise. <3

[sweepseven]

20 Questions for Fic Writers!

Another post in a seemingly unending series of posts in which I talk about writing to make me feel like I've accomplished any actual writing. Results so far are middling.

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

53! How and when?? (The answer is "Kà and a pandemic.")

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

228,456

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Just Cirque du Soleil at the moment, but a long running rp is soaking up the majority of my creative thoughts just now. That's its own whole thing with a blog and fics and AUs upon AUs.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Wing Dust (Miraculous Ladybug, T, perpetually bemused that I wrote this in the first place and yet here it is at number one)

Downpour (Mad Max Fury Road, G, my first for a fandom that did so much for me as an author)

War Song (Mad Max Fury Road, T, strong contender for favorite fic I've ever written)

Idle in Neutral (Mad Max Fury Road, G, I forget I wrote this one all the time and whenever I get kudos for it I'm like whom??? I love that it has a life all its own.)

Mantle (Mad Max Fury Road, G, another one I continually forget about lol)

That's the curse of writing for tiny fandoms! The ones I have loved most, that have mangled my brain for months on end are destined to have like a dozen readers total. On the other hand it's very gratifying to know I'm writing for a small handful of people extra extra psyched to find content. And in the meantime I have these, many of which I've let myself forget, that have found their audience anyway. It's a very rewarding feeling, like I could make the effort, move on, and still leave people happy years later.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Most times yes!! And I'm so so lucky to get the most thoughtful comments of all on my most niche fics. Makes it all more than worth it.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Walkabout and I love it. Cirque du Soleil Kà, T.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Tea Series by a mile. Didn't know I had it in me until pushed by @studiokawaii , and I'm so glad they did. Cirque du Soleil Kà, T.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Honestly so few people are aware of them that it's not really a risk. What is hugely embarrassing is the confirmed knowledge that Cirque artists know about and have read some of them. But there's nothing I can do about that, lol.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes! Somehow I feel like I'm always writing it, and then I look at my total body of work and am like "...where is all of it." Historically it was mostly M/M, but Kà got me actually writing F/M for the first time. Most common themes are experience vs. inexperience and tense power dynamics. I'd love to write more dub con.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Only ever one. Decree, another for Mad Max Fury Road, in which the Vuvalini are each granted one single potentially worldshaping wish à la Puella Magi Madoka Magica. I know why people don't click on it, but I'm fond of it!

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No and tbh I can't imagine anyone would bother.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No but I'd be open to it if anyone cared to take on the project! I love translated fics. What a nice thing to do, granting someone else's work the opportunity for new eyes.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, but again @studiokawaii and I have had some great fic/art collaboration in the past couple years with inspiration coming from both directions.

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

Snape/Harry. I never talk about it, I've never written it myself (I think?? maybe in high school I did), but honestly it's been so long that I think there's no unseating it now. The amount of care, dedication, creativity, and talent coming from that group, even after so long, is truly unique and remarkable. All time favorite ship to write has been Counselor's Son/Twin Sister by a landslide.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

It pains me, but I think I'm kidding myself if I try to claim The Shape of Things To Come doesn't qualify. I love the idea, I know exactly where I want it to go, but something about the enormity of the ground that needs to be covered in order to get there has spooked me.

I also have two highly embarrassing WIPs - one for Shadow & Bone and another for fucking Teen Titans - that I doubt will ever be finished. I just adore both ideas and it's fun thinking they've at least taken some kind of shape somewhere, even if they never make it out into the world.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Creating believable characterization and distinctive voices from very sparse source material. At least that's what I've been told, which I take as an immense compliment. I also think I write tension rather well, whether it be sexual, conflicting emotions, or threatening hostility.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Well right now my ability to finish anything feels pretty fuckin weak. I struggle with action scenes, like physical fights or scenes in which a lot is going on in multiple places at once. Hitting a natural rhythm with them is very difficult for me. Pacing for longer fics doesn't come easily to me either, and I always worry if my longer work reads like a bulleted list of stuff I knew needed to happen rather than an actual story with a true and natural flow. That's part of what's bogging me down with Shape of Things.

I also love commas too much.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Depends. You can't just throw it in there imo - it's a great opportunity for mindful characterization and shouldn't be treated like checking a box, or worse, a reminder to your audience that the source material doesn't match the language you're writing in. I'm not multilingual so the most you're likely to see from me are vague hints at certain dialects and accents in Kà, for instance, since they're not speaking any real language anyway.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Teen Titans. It's still out there somewhere, likely a somewhat embarrassing blip on the radar of some long forgotten LJ community. I got some early encouragement there that put me where I am today. Nurture and welcome new writers, people!!

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Borderline Suspect. I put so much into it. It was a real milestone fic for me, unlike anything I'd ever written before, and it stands so apart in my memory that I just can't choose any other. At the time I thought it was everything I could possibly want to say about Ka and CS/TS, but when it was through I found myself more motivated and inspired than ever.

Some of the most valuable and rewarding feedback I've ever gotten came from this fic, and the intensity of the response, however contained by the size of the fandom, has made me feel incredibly lucky. People came out of nowhere to talk to me about it, send art for it, push me through writing lulls with comments that turned entire days around. I made new friends because of it. I don't see myself writing anything quite like it ever again. Even if I did, I couldn't dream of a more gratifying response. Cirque du Soleil Kà, E.

[feketeribizli]

i know you often forget to answer asks but that's okay!!! i hope you've had a good day whenever you see this. :]

you've been one of my favourite artists for Years now. like. i remember scrolling through your art absolutely amazed when you were doodling james potter, being shocked when you switched to digital and adoring how much your style just shows in everything for as long as i've been active on tumblr and through multiple accounts.

your art is a massive inspiration and so very, very wonderful and full of life, and i'm glad you're still here drawing. i was scrolling through twitter and saw your new atsv art and went "it's them! it's hazel!!!" and i thought i'd send this because i always forget to.

have a nice day, and thank you So much for doing what you do. your art is absolutely wonderful. <3

you wont believe me but i was going to answer this right away but theres something about remembering you got a nice ask some time ago and going to your askbox and reading it all over again like oh my god... life is good after all and i can make a positive impact!

you dont know how happy this makes me!!! i always cringe when people say theyve been following me and my art journey for a long time cause i look back at my stuff from even a year ago and im like jesus christ thats so bad. how come people enjoy that not to mention my art from like 2017 😭 always humbles me that i had the balls to put myself on the internet back in the days but look at me! i still do! letting people connect with you via art and discover new thing through it... when i think about it like that life really is good

anyway went a bit off track there haha but thank you so much for sharing this with me!!!! honored to be able to share my art and try get better (as a person too) with each year :-) hope youre having an amazing day as well!!!!

[flaray25]

I think someone of my online friends asked me this before...

How did you get your artstyle development/improved after all these years?

How did you start your own?

Have you been feeling okay?

Hows ur fanfics?

Are you going to continue?

Lets just say that it all started with a simple ship...

Since may 2020 got me to ship the most otp and most obsessing thing I can imagine...

[Which was you guessed it squidbob...]

And the time I joined Packet's server I felt inspired to draw squidbob.

I drew lots of them and lost of drafted things... i drew countless of them that I couldn't even caught up...

After all... I did read most of my favorite Squidbob fics from ao3 and wattpad which was: IWNBYF scabs the kid, always be yours by tragicclownwriters, I'm surrounded by (PatrickSexyLegs), Bikini Bottom Luau by MultiFandomWriter775, Cerulean Dreams by the_sparkling_abyss also known as (crybaby-139), A Boat to Remembering by RavenCreek [deleted], Accidetally in Love by ShadowAngel56, Only Sponge and Perfect date [collaborated with ShadowAngel56], also adding Artokaii for making Movie Night, Clouded Sunshine, and other of the fics :3

Other of the fanfics I fgt to mention from the squidbob ao3 they are also good as well. <kudos>

Except I dont fit right with nsfw part yep-

I'm reminding myself that this topic was focused for my artstyle improvement not the fics... I'M TOO DARN GIGGLING WITH WHAT I'M READING THEY'RE ALL TOO GOOD *eats*

Anyway- my improvement changed around 2022 - 2023

It started with one simple ship that started my WHOLE ASS career

I became more hyperfixated, delulu, feel like I'm losing it rn, and been writing stuff down from my drafts.

How'd it start my career?

Let's just say-

I created-

Siblings AU, Stoned AU, Legendary AU,Extra ordinary 2003 AU, Switched Universe AU, Past AU, The Other Future AU, The death of his AU, SpongeTale AU, Flowers AU, Agent AU, Mermaid AU, AlterEgo AU, Changed AU, Yandere AU (for some reason back at my Yandere Simulator era), Soft Universe AU, Forced Family AU, Zombie Apocalypse AU, Detecive Partners AU, Vampire AU, This Is Us AU, Gh0stB0b AU, The C0R3 AU, Future Next Gen AU, Transition AU, VillainBob AU, VillainBob 2.0 AU, SquidGame AU (for some SquidGame inspiration...), Guardian AU, Guardian AU (human version), Elliot AU, GhostBusters AU, Reality 4th AU [escape], Band AU, MiddleSchool AU, Future AU (2023), BodyGuard AU, Siren AU, L0ST AU (2 origins meets 1 mystery), Therapy AU, Musician AU, Rich AU, Mysterious Hero AU, Barista AU, Wrestling AU, T!m3Bre@ker AU, BabySitting AU, Quarantine AU, Experiment AU, Zombie AU, Poison Gas AU, Sanity AU, DON'T FORGET AU, Actor AU, AND ALSO! SquidPlusOne|C AU!

Some of those aus seem familiar to you guys and know about it. But in my own aus they're all plotted already and have completed stories now. [I just dont really write much fics cuz I'm very hyper fixated)

When it came to my mind that I've got a unique style, interest, and purpose, I've been doing alot of these fics and also drawing mostly in general. I never post much on tumblr (to avoid giving Nasty ass spoilers from other AUs and plots from my upcoming fics...

After years of my Digital arts/Traditionals of drawing and posting it here on my account... I'd like to say... Thank you so much for supporting and I'm really happy to get to stay here even if I don't interact in much.

I'm very happy and glad that most of you guys who've stayed and look at my posts for too long are literally the bomb.

I couldn't think of anything to say but a hundreds of thank yous :3 it's been so much and I will never forget the days people liked it. And even my improvement after joining this fandom.

I'm greatful to have you guys here supporting or respect or even listen to my lores, I don't even care if I'm not popular or well known person from the fandom. I just want someone to know, listen, and understand whatever I say or explain.

For the ask if 'I'm feeling well' well the neutral but also yes. Since this is the week where it's our last quarter clearance and next 3 months I'm gonna be in 3rd year highschool now... theres just a lot going on in my personal life and I don't wanna talk it out since they're all too sensitive.

It's better for me to start working again with these fics and art requests after our clearance check from school. It's hard to focus studying alongside minding another business with this as well. I gotta study harder next school year- tho I really hope I finish those drafted ones but new ideas come into my mind and I just wanna write it down!

With that thing on the way I'll do my best depends if I still visit here...

Some of you guys might or might not read this so I'm only posting this as my announcements or- something-

If some anon or someone asks me stuff from ask box I'd be very glad to answer! I don't really mind it since I don't talk to any other people here that much-

If someone asks "Octi? Are you going to leave this fandom in the future?" I mean it depends- the community of the Spongebob Fandom sometimes doesn't get that well with other people talking toxicity and mostly in twitter- people have their dislikes of 'shipping' an asexual main character Spongebob of the show.

Pssst @swagpolicerunaway thank you for staying here and I appreciate your stay man- stay cool as always 👉👉

And @3v3ry-freckle thx for reading my fics I know u read fics according to ur description hehe I'm glad people like you also read it too heheh

I mean some people have their own headcanons with a character- even if its announced already. People have their own point of view to that.

I did promise my own account here on tumblr that I'm staying in this fandom... We wont know until the future right? I'm staying here because I felt very open to my own lore and stuff, I'm also focusing on other fandoms that are popular and my studies as well.

But eh- it never hurts to stay here it makes me feel like a whole new person!

Plus I've got new online friends and other general friends who's also like me so theres no biggie problem heheh.

As long as I'm still here I get to share my own thoughts and stuff >:]

Btw there might be a fanfic I'll publish today since it's Fathers Day

🎶Every second that you see is,

Also yes I am continuing. Too much ideas from my hyperfixation? Yes.

With that further ado I gtg do something- see ya guys sometime if I update-

Twenty-four connected pieces,

Thank you for coming,

Thank you for staying,

Thank you for watching the show.🎶

[I love this song so much makes me remind of The Owl House since it ended]