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willyoubemycherryy · 4 months ago

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Seeing is deceiving. (Salesman x reader)

Summary: You were witness to something you shouldn’t have been. Or were you? Seeing is deceiving after all…

Contains: [Oh Lord], here we go because not only is this long, it’s filth😭, you see him slightly in action as the recruiter, bullying, small panic attack, Clueless mention, manhandling, kissing, edging, v!brators, being restricted, the word daddy but referring to her actual father it’s NOT a s€x thing, degradation, cursing, manipulation, nasty kissing, pvssy spanking, overstimulation, multiple 0rgasms, squirting, dacriphylia, oral, a bit of cl!t t°rture, throat fucking, dom/sub dynamics, he’s big meanie :(((, my word, mind-break but not like that, we’re consensual and safe over here, biting, breezing by red flags like here comes the sun, praise, dirty talk and petnames anddd that’s all for now😭

A/N: back again for that threepeat of the dads!friend au! babies so here we go😉🤭

Kisses and more to—>@dorayakissu @jae-mie @lcvsanaa @love2fangirl @jusferisnothere @dilfismz @mybahama @trentknd @reka13 @511rkive @gr-red @karrashifts @nicklet94 @sangwoosb1tch @muchwita @deliur @urfavdarkskinn @lilahardell @ilovemusic28 @se0kie @taylormarieee aka my wife ♡

┆ ° ♡ • ➵ _ X _

You slam the door behind you as you lean against it with a deep sigh. Shaking your head; you try to process what you just saw on your way home.

You’d been passing through the same park you always did on your commute when you saw a familiar dark haired suited man in the distance, instantly stopping you in your tracks.

His back was turned to you but the shot of heat to your core at the mere sight of him was a dead certain ringer that you weren’t seeing things. It was him. Perfect hair, perfect suit, perfect shoes, and fuck you all over again- his height. He seemed to be talking to someone or multiple people when he suddenly started yelling and your eyes widened as you took a small step forward and saw who, exactly. They looked to be… homeless people.

He stood on a pile that looked a lot like snack food and your breath caught; freezing you in place as your mind began to race.

Something blew past your foot and when you look down your heart stops as your wide eyes land on a scratched lottery ticket. The looming sense- almost the same as when you first met him- takes over but with more dread as you put two and two together.

If they didn’t win, they didn’t get food?

You’d always had strong intuitions. They were never wrong.

From the moment you locked eyes with him in your kitchen, you knew right then and there that there was something wrong with him. Even through the interest, the attraction, the sneaking around and the arousal- deep down you knew. And you were right. Staring right at the evidence.

Looking up, you’re frozen- watching him turn around to see that same perfect grin on his handsome face before his eyes scan the downtrodden looking crowd- until they land on you.

You share a brief moment of eye contact before you’re spinning on your heel and escaping before it’s too late leaving.

Now, you’re at home, trying to deal with the fact that the only man who’s ever been able to rail you not only into submission but unconsciousness as well is also a complete empathy lacking sociopath who gets his jollies from bullying homeless people as if they didn’t have it hard enough. You know in a way, it’s contradictory for you of all people to judge him given all the ways you’ve let him have you- your dads friend- but you still had limits.

Dropping your bag by the door, you take a deep breath before pushing yourself off and look around, taking in the familiar space as you will yourself to calm. A soft smile crosses your face as you see your dads half finished drink mug on the coffee table, the slight dip in the spot he normally sat on the couch and you breathe. He wouldn’t be home for another few hours which gives you time to figure out how to casually question him about his new friend and what exactly he knew about him and his life…say, if he’s noticed any.. deranged tendencies.

You go up to your room to change, trying to think and not overwhelm yourself but it’s hard. Everyone has a dark side but what daunted you most was that you never knew how dark it went- especially with older men you didn’t truly know. You take off your set of the day; a plaid miniskirt with matching blazer, fitted white blouse and white thigh high stockings complete with heels to a oversized band shirt but leave your socks on after you ditch your heels. The whole outfit was inspired after a movie you watched last night with your dad and your friend called ‘Clueless’. Before you can finish getting unready, the doorbell chime echos through the house- making you jump- and your brows crease in confusion.

Your classes ended before your friends so you know it wasn’t any of them plus your best friend had the code. It was too early for your dad and he obviously had the code but you also remember that your dad has the habit of falling for the nonsensical shit sold on infomercials; having ordered some stuff last week with prime shipping so it was probably here already. The doorbell rings again and you sigh as you make sure your shirt is long enough to cover anything too heart-racing before grabbing a pen off your desk incase you need to sign for anything and bounding down the stairs to swing open the door.

The second you open it, your heart falls clean through your chest and out your ass when you come face to face with a pair of dark almond eyes and full lips curved into a smile.

“Hello-”,

You slam the door shut so fast the sound of the lock is delayed, pen slipping out of your hand.

Now comes the painful moment when your heart shoots back up into your chest, powered by pure adrenaline as it pounds 2 times its normal speed. He was probably here to kill you. Yet before your raw panic leads to hysterics, the doorbell rings again with all the comfort of the tolling of an undertakers bell as it rolls through the large space and for once you wish your house was smaller.

You don’t move at all to open it again and after a beat of silence, his deep voice calls out to you- by name first, shaking you to your core because you don’t remember him ever calling you by your name and the way it sounds…

“Let’s have a talk-”,

“How about no. Or actually, why? I don’t believe we have anything to talk about.” You interrupt him and your voice doesn’t shake like you thought it definitely would but he can still hear the nervousness and smirks to himself, tossing a glance to the side before looking back at the door. The one his recently acquired sharp mouthed pretty little investment stood behind. You’d been a clear witness to something you weren’t supposed to see.

Clear in the sense that you were a credible witness. Not on any drugs- besides the birth control pills he’d seen on your nightstand your first time together- you weren’t an alcoholic, and you came from a well off, honest background unlike the people who met their fate at his hands, if you were to say anything to anyone about something suspicious, they’d most likely believe you.

A huge part of being able to do what he does is staying traceless. You were now a liability to that. And liabilities left unattended became issues.

So, he was here to tend to that liability, not by harming you but simply making you forget a little bit.

“Why? Well because you saw something that I’d prefer to keep quiet. Much like how I saw you somewhere wearing less than something, away from daddy dearests watchful eye not even a week and a half ago-”,

Your eyes snap wide and before he can finish outing the rest of your last tryst, you’re swinging the door open and pulling him in by his pristine blazer jacket, staring up at his annoyingly attractive face in irritation, shock and disbelief.

“Fine. Let’s chat. I’ll go first-”, you sneer and he just smiles pleasantly down at you, pissing you off enough to forget your previous apprehension. “What the fuck is your problem?”

Ooh. There’s that biting tone again but he’s come to appreciate what it gets him. As much as he wants to drag this out, rile you to your breaking point and play with tipping you over, he’s not sure if time is on his side.

“To which standard? Societally, humanitarilly, or personally?” He asks cluelessly, as if he was talking about the weather and your frown deepens.

“All of them.” You hiss out, narrowing your doe eyes at him and he coos; making a show out of bending to your height; looking you condescendingly in the eyes when he replies, “Uh-oh. That’s not allowed. You were only supposed to pick one, little girl.”

“But-!“, he continues like you didn’t even speak,“But since you technically didn’t, I don’t have to answer.” He flicks an eyebrow up while you look like you’re seconds from throwing a fit which is exactly where he wants you because this way it’s easier to steer you back towards the original focus, standing to his full height as he readjusts the grip on his briefcase.

“Then can you answer what was that at the park? Is that something you just do in your free time-”, you pause as you remember something he said to you the last time he saw you out,

“Does my dad know his friend gets his rocks off playing sick games with the less fortunate?”

His eyes darken at that and so does his smile at the exaggerated wide eyed expression on your face, shiny lips dropped in a small ‘O’ as you raise your manicured hand to hover over it and he huffs in amusement. Shaking his head he steps closer into your space, wiping that look right off as your heart stutters at his proximity- the expensively warm smell of him wafting in your face as he leans back down to your height to even the score. You stare back defiantly and he chuckles darkly; wondering if you were aware of your penchant for getting in over your lovely spoiled head.

“No. And he won’t- in fact nobody will. Not unless you want daddy to know all about how you like being my personal slut in your free time.”

His words are like ice but the heat in their explicitness makes fire slot to your cunt. You stare back at him stunned, letting out a scandalized scoff.

“You wouldn’t.” But he nods, nice n’ slow as he raises a finger to tilt your chin up and against everything, you feel your body start to warm.

“Oh, but I would. Care to find out?”

You keep your mouth shut but your glare says more than enough and he rises fully, moving his hand to your lower back as he guides you to a chair with a padded leather cushion, firm hand making you sit.

You look up at him in wary confusion while he takes you in from the sweetness of your face down to the swells of your chest through your oversized shirt and the soft fat of your thighs being squeezed by the pure white fabric of your socks. The color was deeply ironic since typically white meant purity and he knows you in ways that are the exact opposite. He kneels in front of you, big hands settling on your ankles before running up the smoothness of your half covered legs and you suck in a sharp breath. His hands were dangerous. Memories of what he could do with them make you burn from the inside out and you try to blink it away but then he speaks.

“Let’s play a game. One where you can learn enough about me to decide if I’m sane-”,

“What’s the catch?” You cut him off with an unknowingly spot on question and he grins.

“How do you mean?” He tries to feign ignorance but you scoff, not buying it.

“You’re a business man right? So sales come with catches. Like to get one free, you have to buy one.” He hums, nodding as he rises to his feet. You’re a clever little thing.

He’s leaning down over you, making your breath hitch at how close he suddenly is to your face; looking at you appraisingly for a couple seconds before catching you in a deep kiss. Almost instinctively, your eyes flutter shut and letting him take control is muscle memory as his hands ghosts over your jaw to fit around your throat; sucking your lips between his own before licking into your mouth- tongue hot and demanding and you melt. Wet, muffled moans come from your chest as he kisses you dizzy before pulling away with a harsh smack. Licking his lips of the taste of you and one look at you tells him that you’re wet. And distracted.

Perfect.

Backing off, he kneels back down to where he was before but he grabs his briefcase as well, setting it down in front of you. Watching you shift. You’re completely correct I’m not trusting him completely. He was dangerous- not well- but reminding yourself of that doesn’t make giving in any less conflicting behind all the reasons why you’re so attracted to him in the first place either. There was something you needed to know but the specifics of it were getting further and further away with every hit of him.

“Let’s do this”, his low drawl breaks your train of thought, “every 3 minutes you last without coming, you get to ask me a question.”

You try to hide the flicker of interest on your face as lava pools in your stomach, clit pulsing at the thought of him making you cum but it gives as curiosity wins over. However, as of current, you still hardly knew him so you could be wrong; deciding to leave the skepticism in your voice as you begin your interrogation.

“..but what if you lie? We’re not exactly close so how would I even know if you did? ‘S not exactly fair…” He smiles as he commends you.

You were keen too.

Oddly intuitive to a point and he’s even more eager to get you to play now- see how far they go as he runs the risk of exposing the more sinister side of him.

But that’s what makes games fun- the risks.

“Then I’ll give you my word. I won’t lie during our game.” You pause to think but it sounded simple enough to you agree.

“Deal.”

•

No sooner than the word left your lips, he opened his briefcase, pulling out a rod of sorts with thick leather loops on either side and a small oval case. It was obvious by your face that you had no idea what the items were but he ignores it, setting you up prettily with a grin.

He goes over the rules of your little game as he shifts your hips forward, smiling at your gasp before extending to the rod and opening the loops where he fits each one around of your ankles- sliding them up just under your knees; your face heats at how completely exposed you are and you shake your head in confusion before it suddenly makes sense.

You couldn’t close your legs.

The realization fills you with more arousal than fear and you bite your lip, feeling giddy. It kinda bums that the only way you’d get what you need to know was by depriving yourself of what you want but that’s fine. It’d be worth it.

Only- you didn’t know that the game you just agreed to was nothing more than a distraction and whether you could handle it or not, he’s making sure by the end of it that you don’t even remember your own name.

Once your legs are secure, he opens a small oval case and pulls out something about 4 inches long but thick as 3 of his own fingers and your jaw drops as he pushes the bar up- blowing over your messy wet hole before looking up at you with a dark smile, eyebrow raised and you swallow harshly.

“Ready?”

You nod, heart thrumming when a choked gasp tumbles out of you as the thing in his hand is sliding into you. It’s not that long but fuck is it thick and you can’t help the whine from the back of your throat, cunt fluttering around the stretch of the intrusion and he whistles. Watching with rapt eyes as wetness drips down your holes and he licks his lips at the sight- remembering the sweet taste of your pussy vividly and it makes his cock jump.

He presses the bottom of the the device and you think it’s to push it deeper but to your horror; it begins to vibrate. And strongly. A sharp moan shoots out of you, eyes widening while you instinctively try to arch away from the pleasure making your nerves go haywire.

Unfortunately for you, the way your lower body is already positioned makes it easy for those delicious vibrations to simmer up against that spot inside you and your temperature rises and short, quick breaths are all you can do to keep from even thinking about wanting to cum.

Holding out is supposed to be one of those mind over matter things but when he lowers his head, sucking firm openmouthed kisses to the sensitive skin around your cunt but not where you want him, it’s absolute torture.

A hand cracks down on the back of your thigh and it stings so good- you hiss in pleasure even as he bites the apex of your opposite thigh, leaving behind a painful sting that burns with the indent of his teeth. Your hips involuntarily jerk up at the sensations as your moans rise in pitch while you squeeze your eyes shut and think of every unappealing thing you can imagine when everything suddenly stops and you drop your head back with a relieved sigh.

3 minutes was up.

He looks you over, swiping through your wetness with a finger up to your clit and giving you some tight, quick circles, enjoying the way you tremble from the direct pressure but it’s gone almost as quickly as it came and you’re starting to get whiplash. A blow of air to your clit makes you look down, blinking blearily. The man responsible for your condition smiles darkly.

“Congratulations. You won the first round. What do you want to know?” He asks and you scramble to sort your thoughts, the dull ache from being close and not coming nags at you but you needed to focus…the only issue was deciding if you needed to cum more than focus. Clearing your throat so you don’t sound too affected, you ask the first thing that comes to mind.

“How old are you?” The look he shoots you makes you groan, especially when you move to squeeze your thighs together only to remember that you can’t thanks to the bar keeping them open.

He’d told you when you first met that he was older than your father but you didn’t believe it. Mainly because he just looked too young; older than you of course but not too up there. You half expect him to lie but he smiles when you learn that you’re wrong again.

“I’m 45 turning 46 this summer.” Holy shit. Your dad is 43. He really was older.

You can’t keep the slack-jawed shock off your face and he laughs. You were such a treat when you weren’t getting in trouble or being a brat. You rush to squeeze in another question.

“Wait so do you actually work in sales too-ah!” He cuts you off by licking a hot strip up your cunt, vibrator vrring to life as the pleasure starts melting your insides. It feels like your chest is gonna cave in from how hard you suck in your next breath when he slots his mouth over your clit like he’s wanted to since the first flashback he had of how sweet you’d tasted under his tongue last time, and sucking- flicking his tongue over the nub during the process.

Your heart sinks when you realize how close you already are from being pushed to the edge but not over. It’s not fair. If you didn’t cum then he’d have to answer whatever you asked but there’s no way you’d be able to stay composed enough for long enough to ask anything that actually mattered. His mouth is relentless as he laps and sucks at your pussy, humming like you’re a drink he’s been craving after a long stressful day at work.

The hands around your hips are scalding, caressing your skin underneath your shirt and you feel like screaming; lick after lick you get closer and it’s both heaven and hell.

There’s a sick sense of glee that settles in his lower stomach at how close he knows you are. When your buzzing hole is practically pouring slick and your beautifully desperate moans break into hiccuping sobs as your chest begins to rise and fall with every pointless breath you take to fight your inevitable.

If he were a better man, he’d ease up on you- or better yet- not fuck around with his friends daughter to begin with but you were too delicious to pass by.

He slows the drag of his tongue upwards, catching the underside of your twitching clit, he closes his eyes when you wail- letting the sound ring in his ears like his favorite tune. He manages to give you one last flick through your slit before time is up and he’s pulling away with pupils just as blown as your teary ones. Your wet sniffle makes his cock ache to the point of discomfort. He doesn’t wipe his mouth of your wetness, just looks up at you with it smeared all over and smiles. Like a fucking wolf before speaking.

“Good girl. You won again so what would you like to know?”

You briefly look at him like he’s out of his goddamn mind while you try to catch your breath because you can’t focus.

Not like this.

The ache in your stretched cunny hurt, the weight of the vibrator was driving you mad as every puff of air on your clit made it twitch painfully. God, the ache. You have half a mind to ask him to fuck you stupid but you need to know things apparently. You try to remember those things as you open your mouth, adrenaline infused arousal clouding your thoughts. Fuck, you needed to cum.

“D-do you seriously work in marketing and sales? Like- the legit stuff?” Your voice is wet and hoarse but to him it’s when you sound the best and he hums, tilting his head as he thinks.

In a way, what he did was marketing and sales. Technically.

“Not the same as your dad but I do market to people. They get the opportunity of getting money out of what I market to them so I’d say it’s legit.” He chooses his words carefully and you listen to them attentively but you’re too out of it to notice the deliberate placement of them and it’s so pretty and pathetic that he doesn’t hold himself back- dipping his head to meanly suck your clit into his mouth and the ache of your missing orgasms makes your insides burn; tears budding in your eyes as you grip the sides of the chair. He pulls off with a slick ‘pop’, grinning meanly as he cooes at you.

“Aw- are you going to cry?”

The mock in his sentence alone almost sends you hurtling headfirst into coming, mouth dropping open as you let out a weak moan. Said moan turns into a shriek as he turns your vibe back on, the strength in the vibrations knock the remaining air out of your lungs, not giving you any longer than a second to adjust before rubbing messily at your pearl and it’s barely been a full minute but you’re there. You’re right there and you can’t keep yourself from begging.

“N-oh! Not so mu-fuck!” Pleasured moans make it a feat to get the words out and you pray he understands and he does but he doesn’t stop and he knows you don’t want him to. The game wasn’t over yet and sadly for you since it was his game, he was in charge.

“No. We said we’d play, remember pretty? Can’t quit because it feels like you might lose. That’s poor sportsmanship and I’m sure your daddy didn’t raise a quitter?”

He’s always so mean about it.

Deep voice warm full of fake encouragement as he mocks you and the budding tears fall, spurring him on as he raises his hand; cuff link catching in the light before he’s cracking down on your cunt. Slap echoing through the air and it stings it stings it stings- so bad it’s blinding.

But not enough to stop you from getting closer, heart pounding and you can’t catch your breath, every inhale dissolves like smoke and he’s cruel about it. Not letting you catch a break with the hot lashes of his tongue; even coming up every few times to degrade you.

“You should see yourself”,

“Does it hurt? She’s so swollen- I imagine it does”,

“You cry so easily; c’mon, where’s daddy’s big girl?”

You don’t know if he’s referring to himself or your actual father but it doesn’t matter anymore. You feel about ready to pass out from the intensity of it all as you go limp, pussy walls spasming around the toy and you resign to your fate of an orgasm so strong it’ll stop your heart and finally put you out of your misery when everything stops and empty pulses leaving you just on the brink make you scream for real as you’re edged for the third time.

You’d be impressed with yourself if you had more presence of mind but you just don’t have it in you. He knows that too- seeing as how that was the whole point. Tears stream down your face, running your eye makeup but the glossy ruined look suits you and this truly was for your own good. Biting his lip, he smothers a chuckle as he asks you what you want to ask him. The way you sob sending shockwaves of delight up his spine.

It also takes you longer to regulate your breathing, stiff nipples poke through your shirt as your chest heaves until you lift your head enough to look at him; the fight, the confusion, the sheer desperation in your gaze makes him want to take you and keep you.

“..I-i don’t..look-”, clear thinking evades you as you try to remember what started this and what exactly you needed to know so badly from him. The knowing glint in his eye is unhelpful.

“Wha- what did I ask you again?” Your voice is small but thick with neediness that’s cuter than it should be given the situation and it gives him the nastiest rush as he pushes the spreader bar up towards your chest again. Tutting as he shakes his head in faux disappointment.

“The same words that just left your mouth. Not a very good question but oh well. Better luck next time?”

Your eyes pop open and you feel like slapping yourself because that was technically a question. Before you can protest- demand a reassessment- the vibrator gets flipped back on but instead of leaving it in, he takes it out to press it on your clit. It’s warm and slick with your arousal as he holds it against the sensitive bundle of nerves. At this point you’re shaking and he watches with heated eyes as the slight gape of your hole flutters around nothing and he slides his own fingers in- crooking them upwards with a filthy grind against that spot and a punched out gasp is all that manages to squeak by your lips when you cum.

It hits you hard and christ- it goes on forever as your body doesn’t just chase one orgasm but all the other ones you edged yourself with and you sob in the bliss that takes you over, white hot pleasure leaving you raw from the inside out as you make a fucking mess. Liquid sputtering on the leather beneath you, the fingers inside you, and the man in front of you.

It’s so good that by the time it’s over you’re a blank slate. Not a single thought in your head as you lay motionless.

He watches with a stare so hungry it’s scary and his own voice is heady when he speaks, unable to tear his eyes away from the mess that was your swollen pussy fresh off a squirting orgasm. You always came so hard.

It’s getting to be addictive.

“Ooh. That was a good one wasn’t it? Unfortunately, it cost you this round. That means I get to ask you a question so focus up pretty girl.”

He taps your cheek a few times with wet fingers and you groan, forcing your head up as you let out a wrecked,

“Y-yes?”

Even in the face of everything he’s managed to put you through in such a short time, he’s still so good looking. Maddeningly and devastatingly attractive; you’d let him walk you like a dog if it would please him and your cunt throbs at the sight of his face as he asks his question.

“How long until daddy dearest gets home?” The answer fall out before you can stop it, eyes flicking to the clock on the wall behind him.

“4 hours.”

And that is the sound of your benediction.

He huffs out a dark breath moving to lift your chin with his finger, quirking his eyebrow in a condescending look and your pulse races as he rises to full height before bending down to whisper against your mouth.

“Want to go another round? Can you think of any more questions for me, little girl? If you can think at all…”

It’s a rhetorical question because he can see from the familiar vacant look in those doe eyes of yours that whatever suspicions about him are the farthest things from your mind that involve him and he smiles when you prove him right with a small shake once of your head.

After that, he hums, dropping to a knee to free you from the bar, leaving it next to his case as he stands and wraps his large hand around your upper arm- wrenching you up as he tosses you on the couch, drawing a breathy gasp from you. Your heart skyrockets as he throws you around and as you watch him strip his jacket; leaving it on the back of the chair you just came on.

He undoes his belt as he walks back to you, fat cock in hand with his eyes locked on you and the sinful picture you make with tight high socks, the inside of your thighs wet from the liquid of your orgasm. He stops to stand behind you looking into your eyes as he pushes you to lay back down but with your head hanging over the armrest of the couch and the way your heart pikes straight down to your clit- you know exactly what’s coming next. A hand brushes the side of your face, going up to your hair as fingers lock into the strands.

“You still wanna play with me, baby?” He asks for your consent in that roundabout way he does and you nod.

“Open your mouth.”

You do, squeezing your thighs together as he slides in, stretching your throat with the sheer size of him and your eyes water. You swallow hard to keep from choking and it makes him groan deep from his chest. Biting his lip as his brows draw together in pleasure.

The tight slick walls of your throat are snug around him and you’re so good; shivers wrack up his spine as he pulls out and starts thrusting, making you gag as your mouth becomes wetter from his rough treatment of you. Your wet gags send wonderful vibrations up his cock every-time he slams in and he looks down, almost coming from the sight. Your glossy eyes with fucked up runny makeup fluttering into the back of your skull, spit coming from the sides of your stretched out lips and he curses, losing himself in the debauched pleasure.

“Yeah…that’s it. Gag on it- my pretty little slut”, he groans, wrapping a hand around the bulge of your throat with a shudder, bending over until he can touch your cunt, making you choke when he stuffs you with 3 of his fingers, immediately fucking them up into that gooey bundle that makes you nice n’ easy as he treats your poor throat like a fleshlight.

You let him use you, chasing the same high as he bullies your cunt. The added oxygen deprivation from him fucking your throat makes you dizzy- drunk on raw sensations as your heart works overtime to support your fix.

You don’t remember how you got here and you don’t care; pussy twitching hotly around his pounding digits while he doubles his efforts, hips slamming into your face- your muffled cries around his cock bringing him close to the brink. Thumbing your nub roughly, the sweet bliss crashes over you and your eyes knock back into your skull as you cum almost deliriously.

When you cum, your throat becomes airtight as it flexes, milking him so hard he’s shooting ropes with a wet heady moan that makes your skin thrum.

Taking his fingers out, shiny with the milky strings of your arousal- he sucks them clean. Buried in your throat all the while as he catches his breath and enjoys your taste, a pleasant buzz settling over him as he slips out a few seconds later, bending down to kiss you. It’s concerning how he overlooks the fact that his dick was just in there as he sucks harshly at your lips, kissing you like he owned you as he licks deeper into your mouth still coated with saliva and him. You kiss back in a daze until he pulls away with a satisfied purr.

You looked as fucked out as you felt and he finally decides to take mercy on you. Swayed a little by the barb-toothed liking he’s taken to you. He fixes his pants as he grabs a tissue from the box on the coffee table and wipes your mouth while you watch him dazedly. He pulls your shirt down and puts his items back in his briefcase- even wipes your squirt off the chair.

When he’s done, he kneels next to your limp form on the couch with a secretive grin not even trying to hide that he knew something you didn’t and that now you were too gone to clock or press what it was. Oh well. He opens his mouth to mindfuck you one more time.

“So, what did you want to talk about again?”

Your brows furrow and you squint at him while you try to wrack your mind for whatever he was talking about. Was he asking about what happened at the club? You’d gotten home late in somewhat presentable condition but he ran a good story to your father about happening across you and your friend and picking you up on his way home because her car broke down and he’d spotted you guys stranded somewhere with no cell service which explained why you weren’t picking up your phone.

But during everything that happened. You don’t remember telling him you two needed to talk about anything. You give him a belated sigh, shrugging noncommittally and his grin broadens.

“I dunno, can’t remember.” You slur out, grabbing a pillow and shoving it under you as you close your eyes.

He watches you in silence until your breathing evens out when he looks at the clock.

Your dad would come home in two and a half hours to you sleeping innocently on the couch. You who he’d succeeded in making forget the nasty scene at the park.

He’ll be more careful in the future.

He looks down at the captivating features of your face, leaning down to press a soft kiss against your cheek like he did your first night together- inclined to give you something soft after being so rough- reasoning to himself that it’s out of habit and nothing more as he rises to his feet, collecting his jacket and case as he slips out the front door, closing it softly behind him so you stayed sleeping.

His grin is something twisted as he walks down the street to hail a taxi as he thinks about you.

You were smart- keen. Enough to give him trouble. Yet, nowhere near his game. Not yet.

The next round may surprise him.

_this might be the last salesman fic I write. just feels like it’s losing traction :/

#squid game #the salesman #the recruiter #squid game x reader #squid game smut #the salesman x reader #the salesman smut #the recruiter x reader #the recruiter smut #gong yoo x reader #gong yoo smut

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tyunized · 7 months ago

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PDA WITH TXT~ (thoughts)

PDA - Public Display of Affection.

fem!reader

Warnings :: fluff, kissing, hugging, PDA lol, holding hands, fingering, teasing, heartwarming, needy!beomgyu perv!beomgyu (minors dni).

note :: I was giggling so much while writing this, Especially at beomgyus! Let me know if I have missed any warnings or let me know whos part did you giggle at as well hehe! 1

my rules

🌱 :: Soobin.

Soobin is unapologetically affectionate, and he doesn’t care who’s watching. Whether it’s holding your hand, wrapping an arm around your shoulder, or pulling you in for a kiss in the middle of a crowded street, he’s always showing his love for you. The side eyes and whispered comments from strangers? He doesn’t care. When someone yells, “Get a room!” Soobin just laughs, his carefree chuckle echoing loud enough for everyone to hear. Sometimes, he’ll even throw in a playful response, like, “Nah, we’re good right here!” before turning back to you with a grin.

🌱 :: Yeonjun.

You have to hold Yeonjun’s hands at all times, If not he will be afraid of losing you because he walks very fast due to his long ass legs LOL, so he doesn’t want to leave you behind. He tries, he really does, to slow his pace and match yours, glancing down every now and then to check if you’re keeping up. But he walks so fast that even his “slow” feels like a brisk walk to you. You can’t help but laugh when it starts feeling like he’s gently pulling you along.

🌱 :: Beomgyu. (nsfw)

Beomgyu thrives on PDA―not just because he loves you, but because he loves stirring up chaos. He’ll kiss you in public, and if he catches someone rolling their eyes, he’ll kiss you even more, grinning against your lips while you remain blissfully unaware of his reasoning. You don’t question it, though; you’re too busy enjoying his affection. Of course, beomgyu doesn’t stop there―he loves messing with you too. At dinner with your friends, his hand will wander beneath the table, slipping to your inner thigh, unbuttoning your pants, and teasing you in ways where it's nearly impossible to keep a straight face. He lives for the way you squirm, pretending to be annoyed while secretly loving the way his cold fingers toy with your sensitive areas. Between his “games” and your friends asking casual questions, you feel like you’re about to crash out.

🌱 :: Taehyun. (suggestive)

Taehyun doesn't mind PDA at all, he’ll hold your hand, steal a kiss, or even wrap an arm around you in public without hesitation. When you get a little too playful or lean in too close, you can see his frustration, trying to control himself because in public he knows that he has limitations. It’s humorous to you when you see this type of look on his face, but once you guys are home and in private, he has no rules, no restrictions, and no one to stop him from taking things as far as he wants. And judging by the way he pulls you closer, smirking like he's been waiting all day, you know he's ready to make up for every second he has to restrain himself.

🌱 :: Hueningkai.

This man loves to make you sit on his lap especially when seating is scarce, you sometimes hesitate out of shyness but he always insists. And when you actually give in you can feel the occasional glances people give to you both and it makes you very nervous. Hueningkai will put both his hands on your waist and tell you that it's okay and not to worry about people’s facial expressions. He also likes to rest his chin gently on your shoulder to calm you down but it makes you even more flustered than you already were lol. Feeling his breathing on your neck make you panic on the inside.

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animeyanderelover · 8 months ago

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Tw: Yandere themes, possessive behavior, obsession, isolation, abduction, manipulation, threats, the Zoldyck family is a trigger warning in itself

Tags: @jamayah @chxxz @leveyani @hyakki-yosai @shenryu-sama @maggiequinn59 @nightmaresprophet @lovley-valentine7

Platonic Yandere

Kurapika Kurta

⛓️Too much. Kurapika saw too much of himself in you when he found you one day in the aftermath of another masacre caused by the Phantom Troupe, one of the few survivors left. Your family gone. Your friends gone. Your home gone. Initially his plan only saw it for him to bring you to safety, to find someone who would take care of you as his own lifestyle consists only of revenge and hatred for the criminals who took everything from him. Still, Kurapika isn't heartless as his worries for you lead him to spend time with you as you only put your trust in him for quite a few weeks after the incident. There's so much innocence in those eyes, almost too much innocence for someone like him. Hatred has been one of the first emotions that he felt after his clan was brutally murdered yet perhaps you are still too young to feel such black feelings. Adolescence for Kurapika has been ruined for Kurapika, his hatred guiding his every action and limiting his freedom. It's not like Kurapika regrets any of this for it is the only path he could have chosen for himself yet in you he sees a chance to protect something that he couldn't be protected from after the Phantom Troupe took everything from him.

⛓️Stranger means danger. A concept that Kurapika teaches you quite early as he slowly starts getting more involved in raising you. Others keep on telling him that he is far too overbearing, far too restricting yet the truth is none of them could understand you two for none of them have experienced the same pain that you have gone through. The story of your losses is almost identical which is why Kurapika finds himself sharing his past with you soon yet he harshly forbids you from following his example of hunting down Chrollo. This is a burden he alone has to bear. For you he wants something different. He wishes for you to live a normal life, though the concept of living a normal life underneath his guidance is already very different than what the majority would consider the norm. After all Kurapika keeps you largely sheltered, away from a world where too many people would backstab and betray you for money and power. Trust him, he has encountered all of those people before and whilst there may be some people out there who are better than others he insists on you understanding that ultimately only he will understand you best for he knows what you have gone through.

⛓️Shielded away from all potential happiness yet also all potential pain for Kurapika dreads to take a risk with you, you mostly remain with only him as you rarely stay long enough in a city or new place to bond with those Kurapika carefully selects to look after you when he has to do something for which he can't take you with him. Family is insanely important to Kurapika and even though you two are not related by blood he often tells you this. He's never outright demanded for you to refer to him under a fitting term though as you are the one who refers to him as your older brother at one point. He has always known that you have seen him as family because he has pretty much raised you up on that belief even if some others would criticise him for his questionable methods. He's extremely touched though when the word "brother" leaves your lips for the first time as he hasn't been called anything remotely close to this ever since his clan was murdered. This strange warmth in his chest appears whenever you call him that, his grip always subtly tightening on you as soon as he hears the word as it only seems to solidify the responsibility that he has to protect you.

Illumi Zoldyck

🤎Illumi stumbles upon you during a mission he has received, though you are not directly a part of it. Your orphanage just happens to be in the same district that his targets resides in and you just happen to be able to use Nen which catches his attention. Yes, he has been able to use Nen in your age already as well but for someone outside of his family to already possess such an ability is rare, especially since you don't seem to be even aware of it. A natural. A rarity. Unable to just ignore you Illumi finds himself with two options. Option one is to eliminate you before you may grow up to be a threat for his family. Option number two is to polish this diamond and use it for his own advantages. With zero awareness of how proper social interaction works he finds himself approaching you on the playground one day, noticing how other kids avoid you as they mostly sense the Nen around you though they don't know what it is. Curious yes stare up as he bends down, blinking at the sand castle you're trying to build before he asks you if you'd be interested to join his family and be trained by him to be an assassin. Your mistake simply was to believe that the mister in front of you was only joking.

🤎Everyone is flabbergasted when Illumi returns from his mission whilst holding you in his arms, simply stating that he will train you from now on. Kikyo in particular is quite skeptical but Zeno and Silva seem to tolerate it mainly because they also sense that you seem to have a lot of potential. The fact remains that you do not hold the same rights and worth as a biological Zoldyck though and this subtle discrimination is something you notice as you grow up. It's this fact that Illumi often finds himself abusing to strengthen the loyalty and connection that you feel for him. He doesn't want you to bond with other people in this household so even if you attempt to forge a connection or someone from his family attempts to get to know you better he always manipulates the situation so that you only end up getting hurt. The easiest solution is to let you spend time with Kikyo who hates you and wails and complains in your presence about how you're nothing special in comparison to her darling Killua and how she doesn't understand why you're still here. Killua is probably the one Zoldyck you are somewhat allowed to hang around with though Illumi strives to control both of you.

🤎 For Illumi his family is everything. However, for you he should be your only family. He wants you to ignore the rest of the Zoldyck members because in his own strange view he believes that he is indeed the only family to you. After all it was him who took you away from this orphanage where your potential would have only been wasted and where you would have rotted away. After all he is the one who provided you shelter and gifts you something whenever you improve. After all you listen to him, mainly because he has used his ability to use a little needle to make you more obedient to him. Illumi differs from Kurapika in the aspect that he demands from you to refer to him as your older brother to finally receive the final assurance that you know who he is to you. It slips out of you whilst you're training with him and are pushed beyond your limits, begging him to give you a break. In the next moment he is instead directly in front of you, moving so fast that you barely notice him. Dark eyes threaten to suck your soul out of your eyes as he asks you to repeat that once more for him, sounding almost excited. Whilst he may not show it he is extremely satisfied, he even gives you the little break you're pleading for.

Silva Zoldyck

🐺Apologies cannot be spilled enough as one of the servants of the Zoldyck household is forced to announce that their grandchild, which they have recently started taking with them to teach them how to be a good servant, has somehow escaped and now they're unable to find them. A minor problem in Silva's eyes as he just lets the butlers of this household handle that matter. It is at least irrelevant until Mike, the family dog, brings you back as you're placed on his back and just giggle happily. Mike doesn't just trust anybody, not even the butlers of this household so it is quite remarkable that a small child like you managed to tame him to the point where he allows you to jump on his back. Silva is somewhat intrigued to say the least, quickly dismissing the apologies of your grandparent and telling them that it's quite alright. Blue eyes linger on you for a little longer until he eventually leaves. As you're still in training Silva doesn't see you too often the following weeks but it doesn't escape him that Mike continues playing with you and it only festers his growing curiosity. After all Mike is usually only that affectionate with members of the Zoldyck family.

🐺Eventually his fascination gets the better of him and one day he follows Mike, mildly surprised to see Mike laying on his back and exposing his belly as he allows you to pet him there. Obviously you haven't been properly taught just who he is yet or perhaps you just don't see the reason behind being overly respectful as you notice Silva and run over to him, speaking informally to him. Under normal circumstances he would consider it an audacity but strangely enough he finds it weirdly amusing as not even his own children have spoken to him that way. The only person who has ever conversed so casually with him is his own father. As you excitedly gush about Mike and how much of a good boy he is, Silva finds himself actually listening to your rambles before he eventually brings you back to the other butlers. Needless to say though, after that day he finds himself actually seeking you out more often and mostly he just follows Mike as the dog also spends time with you nearly every day. It's not all fun and games though as very soon Silva actually suggests training you when noticing that you're still quite clumsy and inexperienced despite the potential that you hold.

🐺The possessive strictness takes more than just a few months to develop for Silva though. After all he is the patriarch of his family, all bound by blood so it takes an expected amount of time until he eventually starts recognising you as more than just a butler that he highly respects. The moment that switch has happened he turns very overbearing though as he insists for you to move into the actual manor of the family and there is little your grandparent gets to say about that. Everyone who even as much as dares to voice their disagreement with his decision will immediately receive punishment and not even family is safe from those oppressing glares he gives them, especially Milluki and Kikyo receive a lot of them. It takes you quite a bit to get used to that new lifestyle but since you basically grew up in this place with Mike and Silva you do not hold as much resentment against him as you perhaps should. Now, Silva doesn't often let his emotions get the better of him but he allows himself that moment of pride that swells his chest when you call him for the first time your father. After all it symbolises to him that you finally have accepted your new life in his family.

Kanroji Mitsuri & Iguro Obanai

💓🐍Left in the rubbles of a house Mitsuri finds you, wrapped in blankets and screaming at the top of your lungs. She bursts out in tears immediately, guilt and sorrow invading her heart as she realises that she was too late to save your parents, leaving you all alone. Carefully she lifts you up, tears still dropping down her face yet she knows that her own sadness would only affect you more so she forces herself to smile as she tries to cheer you up. Your parents lived far away in a rural era with no relatives that could take you in and when someone on her team mentions that they might just have to give you to an orphanage Mitsuri vehemently refuses. That would be far too heartless! This is all her fault. If she would have only arrived sooner, if she would have only been faster you wouldn't have needed to end up all alone. Unable to live with the idea of giving you away to an orphanage Mitsuri decides on a whim that she will adopt you with almost everyone on her team going into shock when she announces her decision with tears in her eyes. As a Hashira she failed to protect your parents but the very least she can do is not fail you, the child of the ones she was supposed to protect.

💓🐍Obanai initially views you with nothing but jealousy as Mitsuri spends a lot of time with you, coddling you and gushing over you. Truly, sometimes he glares at you with his mismatched eyes, a scowl on his face whenever Mitsuri pinches your cheeks softly and talks to you adoringly. His pettiness is honestly amusing to the point where Sanemi and Shinobu end up teasing him. Mitsuri, in firm belief that Obanai has a soft heart, leaves him sometimes in charge of you though when she has to fulfill a mission and he always does so begrudgingly, often staring at your little form and hissing at you that you won't steal her away from him. One day whilst you're crying and he's forced to lift you up and bounce you up and down in his arms you actually undo the bandages on his face with your grabby hands, both of you freezing as he stares unmasked at you. For on brief moment he almost has the urge to throw you away, fearing that you'll start crying. Instead you laugh. Not mockingly but in that childlike innocence as you stare at his hideous face. The paternal love arrow shoots him straight through his heart in that moment and from that day on he hunts everyone done who ever complained about you.

💓🐍Mitsuri is openly affectionate. She bakes for you or with you. She effortlessly lifts you up and spins you around whenever you ask her, she draws and paints with you and plasters every wall full with everything you drew. Obanai isn't as openly affectionate but he is deeply protective. As soon as someone nags about your screams he's suddenly behind them with his blade pressed against their neck. He allows his pet snake to bite everyone who speaks ill of you and whenever anyone or anything scares you he scares them in return for the rest of their lives. You've basically been raised by them so it's no surprise that your first words include you calling them "mama" and "dada" respectively. Mitsuri sheds tears of joy and guilt at that as she still tends to bemoan the fact that she couldn't save your real parents even though she could not imagine giving up on you now. Obanai funnily enough thinks of Mitsuri as deserving of being called mother by you yet he holds insecurities about himself as he wonders if he'll be a good father to you as he was never raised properly nor had he father present in his life. Both of them pretty much just end up soothing each other and calling the other one the better parent

Gojo Satoru

🩵Quiet, anxious, overly cautious of everyone. When Yaga brings you one day into the Jujutsu High, you remind him more of a frightened animal with fear-based aggression than anything else. Listening to the Principle though Gojo has a hard time blaming you. Born as the child of non-sorcerers, from a very small age plagued by the horrifying sight of curses with no one to believe you until the torment became too much and you ran away from home as everyone around you slowly started to believe that you were mentally ill. Necessary arrangements have already been made with your parents who have agreed to let you stay in Tokyo. Yaga has already explained the basics to you, explained to you that you are not insane and that the monsters you see are in fact real. The first day Yaga mostly keeps you close by his side and later that night Gojo pouts about it as he would have liked to get to know you better too. He reacts highly offended when Yaga explains to him that he didn't want to scare you on your first day here by letting you anywhere near Gojo. There's no reason to be so down though as Yaga tells Gojo that he will still be a teacher for you, especially since you know little to nothing about this new world.

🩵It is so painfully obvious that you grew up un a rural area, always overwhelmed by all the noises, the lights, the humans and the creatures. It makes Gojo quite protective whenever he walks with you around Tokyo as he wants to introduce the city life to you. He's deeply sad as well as offended when he offers you sweets and you ask him what they are as those candies aren't something you ever saw in your small village. After that he makes it his mission to introduce every dish and every sugary treat in this city to you and it always brightens up a stressful day when you taste a cake or ice cream flavor you never had before and light up when you realise that it's delicious. When you one day spotted a crane game shop and spotted a cute plushie Gojo noticed, dragged you inside the shop and basically blew all of his coins on winning you everything you wanted inside there. Yaga could only stare in exasperation as the white-haired menace returned, hands full of bags with everything he had won you. Obviously Gojo defended his actions. Your room is after all so terrible bleak. He introduces you to Megumi as well who sarcastically remarks that his teacher is collecting children like some do Pokemon.

🩵A happy childhood is something Gojo never received, his blessing simultanously his curse. You will never grow up like most other children your age either. But at the very least he can provide you with a childhood infinitely better than his own. Beneath that cheerful grin a deep-rooted paranoia festers, an overwhelming desire to protect you from all evil in this world. Gojo doesn't want you to go out there and fight curses. He wants you to live a normal life away from everything that goes down in this world and he fights for you and protects you for that sake with that carefree grin on his face. It is that grin that momentarily fades when you call him papa for the first time as not even you realise what you have said. Not until you hear him audibly choking on his melon soda, blue eyes gazing at you in shock as he coughs for his life. The moment he has finally stopped nearly choking he leans down, a strange look in his eyes as he asks you quietly to repeat that. It's the way you tilt your head, trying to recall what it was you just said before repeating the word papa to him once more that he almost feels like crying as in that moment the world grows even more dangerous and you infinitely precious.

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fourormore · 1 month ago

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[Image description: A polyam flag with the words “four or more bingo” on it. End description.]

AO3 COLLECTION | SQUIDGEWORLD COLLECTION

AND WE'RE BACK!

I have a vision: a world where we can read about polycules and complicated relationships with four or more people until our eyes hurt and our hearts can't take it anymore.

Let me introduce to you: the 2025 Four or More Bingo! Thanks to a couple of suggestions I received last year, I decided to launch this event earlier in the year for more opportunities to write about those messy polycules.

This is a low-stakes, personal challenge. There's no penalty for not finishing or running late.

Cards will be given from now to December 31st. Fills can be posted starting June 1st to AO3, SQWA or tumblr forever.

GUIDELINES

Any medium! Any rating! As long as your work focuses on a relationship with 4 or more people, it's allowed!

All works must be your own and not previously posted. AI generated works will be deleted from the collections.

You may combine these with other events, as long as the other event allows it (examples are @polyamships' polyartober, lyricaltitles challenges, etc)

Small fandoms welcome!

Don't forget to comply with the community guidelines.

MEDIUM SPECIFIC GUIDELINES

Minimum wordcount for fics is 100 words. There is no maximum

Minimum for art is a sketch on unlined paper (figure sticks allowed!). There is no limit to the quality or effort you want to put in your fills.

Minimum for moodboards is a 3x3 grid (9 images individually or edited in one image). Maximum is given by the place where you decide to post. On tumblr, the maximum is 20 images, but on AO3, you're free!

Minimum for podfic is a 100-word fic. There is no restriction on maximum length or sound effects.

Minimum for fanvids is 30 seconds. There is no maximum.

Other mediums don't have a minimum. Do you want to make an in-universe magazine for your ship? A cross stich pattern? A sculpture? Go ahead and do it! I look forward to all the things you can create.

Prompts, FAQ and more below the cut

PROMPTS

The following are the prompts that the bingo card will be generated from. Send us an ask if you want a card, and if you want any prompts specifically excluded from it (you can exclude up to 5 prompts). Feel free to request a new card at any time through December 2025, even if you've already received one.

This year you can ask for a completely SFW card or a mix of SFW and NSFW prompts (this was a popular suggestion last year). Whatever card you choose, you will be allowed to blacklist 5 prompts from the list if you so desire.

Prompts are to be interpreted as freely as you want.

SFW prompts are not limited to SFW fills. If your story gets spicy along the way, there's nothing wrong with it.

Some of these prompts might seem familiar. That's intentional. We love big and complicated polycules at fourormore.

SFW PROMPTS

Home

Food

Kisses

Money

Competition

Jealousy

Limits

Complicated relationships

Labels

Awkward conversations

1930s AU

1960s AU

1990s AU

"That's not going to fit"

"You must think I'm stupid"

"I swear it was like this when I got here"

"We leave you alone one day and this happens"

Holy

Devilish

Loyal

Feral

Cozy

Old-fashioned

Dancing

Singing

Running

Grief

Joy

Space

Forest

Lies

Drama

Film

Memories

Late nights

Holidays

Fear

Pain

Cold

Flowers

A fandom you've never written before

A fandom that's 10+ years old

A polycule with 5+ people

A polycule with 10+ people

A polycule spread around the world

Opt-in NSFW prompts

Recreational substance use

Free use

Tied up

Delayed orgasm

Awkward positions

Just hands

No hands

Casual sex

Something made them do it (sex pollen, fuck water, in heat, etc)

Blood kink

Knife play

Undernegotiated kink

Teaming up

Public place

Monsterfucking

FAQ

Q: So how do I get a card?

A: Send us an ask, preferrably off anon, but if you prefer to remain anon, leave an emoji to identify you by.

Q: How many fics do I need to write?

A: For a bingo, 5 prompts in a line (horizontal, vertical, or diagonal). You can even go for a blackout (all 25 prompts).

Q: Why isn’t X allowed?

A: Just because.

Q: I don’t have a Dreamwidth account. Can I join?

A: Of course! You don’t even need an AO3 account if you wish to post only on tumblr.

Q: My work contains [INSERT WARNING HERE]. Can I still participate?

A: Yes. This is a CNTW (Choose Not To Warn) space.

Q: I don’t want to see [X] content, can you please remove it?

A: No. The only content that will be removed will be that that does not comply with the rules.

UPDATE: We now have a General FAQ that applies to all events.

COMPLETION POSTS

So, you have a bingo (or a blackout!), what now?

Well, to acknowledge the fact that you spent time and effort on at least 5 fics, we’ll be receiving bragging posts (also known as completion posts) where you can link all of your fills at once. Please follow this format. You may post on your own blog and @ us, tag #fourormore or submit it to the blog.

If you have any questions, don’t hesitate to send a message.

Have fun and bon appetit!

#fourormore #OT4 #polyshipping #polyships #polyamorous ships #polyamory #OT5 #OT6 #OT8 #writing event #fandom event #bingo #admin post #polygun #stranger things #star trek #the raven cycle #teen wolf #star wars

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hotchnersangel · 4 months ago

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I'VE GOT MY EYE ON YOU

Aaron Hotchner.

This is fully mentioning eating disorders and may be triggering to people suffering, in recovery or even prone to struggle. Please, take care of yourselves babies, you are strong, you are brave and your body is your home. You are and will always be more than your body and no matter what you are beautiful the way you are.

read with caution.

cw; self-loathing, ed awareness, struggles with eating, hurt, protective hitch, blood, passing out, fem!reader, bau!reader and more

--------------------

If feeling like the world hates you isn't enough, try hating yourself. Try waking up day in and day out facing the battle of your life, every waking moment. When you think it is over, nope, you were just too nice to believe you were struggling. At this point, it became a huge definition of you and who you are, without meaning to. Your ED was something you learnt to live with and grew accustomed to seeing and living through since you were about sixteen. It had taken a huge toll on your life.

You lived your life in fear of numbers on a label, on a menu. You were trapped within your mind, building a cage around your freedom. You live your life shadowed by food and yet, you could never shake it.

You thought that not going to the hospital meant it was invalid, that it wasn't actually an eating disorder. You don't think that you have what is considered to be an ed, instead, you think you're just picky. That is what you play it off to be.

You reached a stage in your life where it got better, you never stopped checking calorie labels, and you think there won't be a day that happens. But, you forgave yourself for breaking your restrictions.

That was until you saw yourself on TV during a case. At that moment, you reverted to every old trick in the book, hating how your body looked with the extra weight it was carrying. So, you simply stopped. You stopped eating when unnecessary, you stopped your sweet treats, and your calorie intake over a limited number. You stopped feeling grateful for your body and instead began to loathe it. You began to loathe yourself, your mind.

You assumed it would just be the same as usual, you were only heightening what was already going on after all but slowly, you felt your body grow exhausted.

You lost your spark, your drive, your energy. The fulfilling aura surrounding you started to thin and eventually, the team started to notice your decline. Specifically on one case, the hotel was offering free breakfast which you declined, claiming you were full from dinner- but, it was harder to hide at dinner. Rossi suggested you all go out, on him, to celebrate completing the case and this was the beginning of a domino effect in the unravelling of your issue.

You went out, of course you did.

You also ran out of clothes and had to ask JJ and Emily to share, having always been the same size as them, which confused you because they were always so fit physically. Emily offered you an off-the-shoulder dress which you thought you would break if you tried to put it on. You immediately feel self-conscious after putting it on, your shoulders fully on display, your hips filling the dress, making it squeeze into your body. You hate it. You really hate it. It always looked so good on Emily, but it doesn't look good on you. Fuck. You have to push back your tears.

Walking into the elevator, you see Hotch leaning against the wall on his phone, he looks up when you walk in and he smiles at you. "Hey."

"Hi," you say quietly, suddenly extremely aware of your shoulders and arms right now. Aware of the bump in the dress where your stomach sticks out, the way the dress feels like it is going to burst out the seams. You didn't even realise you were zoned out until Hotch spoke up again.

"Are you cold?" He inquires, raising an eyebrow as he looks over you. Unknowingly you had your arms crossed over your body, breathing in your stomach and covering your arms at all costs.

"No." You reply confused until you realise why he thought that. You don't drop them though, just shaking your head at him. "No, I'm not."

He takes his jacket off, handing it to you absentmindedly, looking over at you with concern. "It will be cold out there, here."

"Thank you," you tell him genuinely. He nods and you both meet the team.

At the restaurant, Aaron makes a move to sit beside you. He watched as your eyes flared in panic reading the menu and he was trying to piece together what was going on with you.

When it comes to ordering, you order the lowest calorie option which happened to be a soup. The team pulled a face and then moved on. Though, when the meals arrive, you look at the other's plates with envy. They could eat that and still be fit. Why couldn't you just be normal?

Aaron must have noticed your expression as he offered you his meal, to swap. You smile at him for his gesture but you shake your head at him. "Thank you but I'm not that hungry."

Through the night, everyone tucked into their meals but you continued to sip your wine when the others watched but then you swapped to your water when you suspected no one looking. Then you blamed yourself for not finishing your meal on the technicality that you had too much wine.

Smart, Aaron thought as he started to understand what was going on.

You all went back to the hotel and the case was over. From that day on, Aaron has been keeping an eye on you. He monitored you on your lunch breaks and then on cases made sure you had something.

However, you promised yourself that you wouldn't let your picky eating interfere with a case. Never cross personal matters with work. But, you lost the privacy privilege when you starved yourself for days on end and slowly became trailer and weaker. You were noticeably losing weight and now everyone was starting to realise because eventually, you became addicted to the idea. You found comfort in your disorder and it both terrified and rejoyced you.

Midway through a case, you and the bau were en route to catching the unsub. You're all sat outside, planning how to enter the building safely, you decide to ignore the black splodges delicately kissing your vision and continue with the plan. You were paired with Hotchner and thankfully, Morgan and Emily had caught the unsub because shortly after running into the house, you searched the kitchen and you remember feeling a rush of dizziness and the way the room spun before you blacked out into a faded daze.

You wake up shortly, Hotch by your side as he holds some tissue above your eye. You blink with confusion for a moment as you return from your disorientation to the reality of what just happened. You blink a few times, trying to sit up but being ushered to stay sat down by Aaron.

"Don't move, you've hit your head." He mutters, his eyebrows pulled together tightly with concern and some traces of anger.

You don't speak. You don't know what to say really.

Paramedics come in and check you over, attending to your wound and informing you that you will have a black and bruised eye shortly. Once they give you the okay, they leave you with Aaron telling him to keep an eye on you to ensure no head traumas show late signs.

He sighs and looks at you softly. "How are you feeling?"

"Tired, very tired and I have an awful migraine." You frown, looking up at him as your hand moves to your head and eye region and you flinch at the tenderness of the wound.

"What happened?" You finally ask the dreaded question, looking directly towards him now. He frowns.

"You passed out and hit your head on the counter on your way down." He informs you, placing his hand on your back and offering you his hand to stand up. Eventually, you do, your knees wobbling as you do but Aaron ensures that he has a firm and tight grip on you, so you do not fall. "We will speak more about this and what caused you to pass out later but you should rest."

You look at your hands when you walk to the SUV, Hotch guiding you the whole way. You knew you had to tell him, you knew that he already knew what was going on he's a profiler, the unit chief too so of course he knows.

You stay silent the whole way back to the hotel, absentmindedly looking outside the window as both your phone and his buzzed with notifications, probably from the team asking for an update on the situation. Although, you didn't check your phone and nor did Aaron, since he was driving.

When you arrived at the hotel, Aaron walked you to your room. "I'll send Emily or JJ over to stay with you if you'd like."

"No- please. I love them but that really isn't what I need right now. please." You plead him, staring so fearfully into his eyes that his heart breaks to see how beaten down you truly are.

"I was told you need to be under close supervision, forgive me for assuming you'd want them- I just thought you would rather be with a woman." Hotch explains and you nod.

"Can- can you stay with me?" You ask so quietly that he wasn't even sure if he imagined it or not. "Out of everyone, I'd want it to be you, yeah." You nod sheepishly at him and he nods with a small smile, following in after you walked into your room.

"I'm just going to grab my bag, get some pyjamas on and ready for bed and I'll be back." He tells you, not wanting to leave so he hesitates his departure. "Will you be okay?"

"I'll be fine. Aaron, go." To which he does and you change, catching your reflection in the bathroom mirror. Staring into it as tears caress your cheeks. You honestly have no idea how long you have been there, criticising your reflection in the bathroom mirror. So distracted you don't hear the hotel room door open again until you see his figure appear behind you in the reflection.

"I wasn't going to speak with you about this tonight but I think we need to." He says, staring into your eyes through the mirror. Your glossy and red-rimmed eyes.

"I'm speaking to you tonight as someone who cares about you and puts your health first, okay?" Hotch says, leading you to sit on the bed. He tilts your chin to look at him. "What happened today simply cannot happen again, okay?"

"I didn't mean for it to happen- you know that."

"I do but I don't know what you expected honey," He says softly.

The silence between you is palpable in that moment. "I swore my personal life and my work life would never cross."

Aaron sighs and looks away for a moment, looking back at you. "Your eating disorder affects your body both in and outside of work; you can't pick and choose when it can take a toll on you."

You stay silent. "I don't have an eating disorder."

"Yeah, love... you do." He says softly, looking at you to gauge your reaction; which wasn't being taken well.

"No- I do not." You defend, raising your voice slightly. "Just because I'm a picky eater doesn't mean I have an- doesn't mean I have it."

"When was the last time you ate?" He asks you, again, with no judgement and just a casual tone as if it was an ordinary conversation.

"Today."

He gives you a look. "When was the last time you ate more than three mouthfuls of food?"

You frown, getting ready to shout again. You weren't shouting at him, you were just mad at the situation. Though, it got cut short, interrupted by a sob. At this, Aaron was quick to pull you into his chest, wrapping his large arms around your shoulders. His hand caresses your hair, stoking it as he lets you cry into his shoulder. He understands that you've been holding this in for a very long time and he isn't happy you're struggling, but he is glad that you are letting him in.

'I don't wanna live like this anymore." Your voice shakes as you clutch his shirt. "I'm so tired."

He closes his eyes, feeling tears swell in his chest at the raw pain of your voice. "I'm here for you, I'm going to help you get you through this."

You pull back and look at him.

"You need to admit it," He moves his hand to your cheek, gently brushing the tears away, making sure he doesn't touch your injured eye- which was breaking out into a bruise through the swelling.

"I can't," you shake your head, hating how the words hurt your chest. The burning sensation as it lingers in your heart, physically scoring at your heart.

Hotch smiles encouragingly at you, "In order for me to help you, you need to admit that you're suffering honey."

"I-" you fall silent and Hotch doesn't speak, he doesn't rush you; he just lets you figure out your emotions by yourself. "Fuck, Hotch I think you were right. I have an... eating disorder."

The words feel like a splinter embedded into the skin, a sudden urge to vomit surging through your body- yet there was nothing to come up. Your mouth tasted like acid and your chest grew hot very quickly. But, it then subsided ever so slightly and there was almost a trace of... relief?

"I'm so proud of you." Hotch looks at you softly, pressing a kiss to your forehead as you frowned. "You admiring it is so progressive, do you know that?"

You shake your head, "I'm not feeling it."

"You will, eventually. We will take this slow okay? It won't happen overnight but believe me, you're on the road to recovery."

#aaron hotch imagine #aaron hotch x reader #aaron hotchner #hotch x you #aaron hotchner x reader #agent hotchner #hotch #hotchner x reader #aaron hotch fanfiction #aaron hotch fic #aaron hotchner x you #aaron hotch hotchner #hotch x reader #aaron hotchner imagine #aaron hotchner x female reader #eating disoder trigger warning #tw eating issues

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marilearnsmandarin · 1 year ago

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These are the apps and links I currently have on my phone to study Chinese:

SuperChinese: my main study resource. There are currently 7 levels, level 7 (still incomplete, they are still slowly adding lessons to it) being HSK 5 stuff. Each lesson has vocabulary, grammar and a short dialogue where those are used in context (I love context). It has a few free lessons in the lower levels but after that you have to buy a subscription. There are many sales though. When I was a beginner I used HelloChinese instead, which has more free content, and switched to SuperChinese when I finished all the free content there. It also has social network features and chat rooms I don't use.

TofuLearn is like a flashcard app with many pre-made decks (you can also create your own on their website and import decks from Anki) and the option to practice writing hanzi. Anki didn't work for me, but I find Tofu very helpful. Practicing writing helps me with character recognition, and it also helps me remember the tones thanks to the audio in the pre-made HSK decks.

Dot is a reading app with new texts being added every day. It used to be completely free, which actually seemed too good to be true, and then they put practically everything behind a paywall and very strict limits for free users. After a couple of months they made it a little less restricted though - we still can't choose the articles but we can read as many as we want as long as we do the vocabulary exercises after each article (plus, during the Spring Festival, they made all articles available for free for 3 days and we could save the ones we were interested in to read later). It follows the new, not-yet-implemented (and harder) HSK levels, so you should start one or two levels below yours and if the texts are too easy move up.

Google Translator: not the best but helpful when I need to translate whole sentences, plus I can point my camera or open an image and it translates writing.

Pleco: best Chinese to English dictionary.

Stroke Order: not an app but a website, does what it says in the tin: shows stroke order for a specific character.

YouGlish: also a website, you can put a word or phrase and it shows videos where people say that word/phrase. Very cool.

Todaii is a graded news app that has only two levels: easy and hard. I'm around level HSK4 and the "easy" level is quite hard though (but I admit reading is my nemesis).

I also use YouTube and Spotify a lot.

#personal #resources #langblr #language learning #learning chinese #chinese langblr #chinese language #mandarin #中文

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northopalshore · 6 months ago

Text

Northopalshore's 24/25

Solar Return Observations

It's my birthday! (21 dec), I thought about writing predictions for myself based on my SRC every year just as a marker that the year is ending & a new one will commence shortly. Are you finally the person you've been striving to be?

₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑

𝄞 Capricorn rising (17°)

I'll be busy this year, focused on my work and goals. I'll aim to be very productive this year! To be more responsible & act more mature. Taking in a lot of responsibilities. Though, with that Leo degree I may be gaining a lot of attention for my work or competence. An "examplary" character.

𝄞 Pluto (0°) & venus (15°) in 1st H aquarius

Another glow up! I could lose a lot of visible weight this year, and I could refine my aesthetics or perfect my makeup as well. Since they're in aquarius, it's likely I'll be standing out with the way I look or dress this year. I've been really itching to get a tattoo too. I don't give a fuck that we aren't supposed to lol.

𝄞 Aquarius 2nd H, Saturn in 2nd H/Uranus in 4th H

Venus aquarius (gemini) square uranus Taurus (aquarius °)

• unusual spending habits (i.e being very stingy with something yet spending a lot on other stuff)

• finances could be quite unpredictable this year i.e I won't be able to expect when I need to use money/ unexpected events. I'll could earn a lot of money for something unexpected, or just work odd jobs/online, by doing something I don't usually do or have never expected to do

• stable or restrained income

• dressing differently than others around me

• people talking about how I look very 'unique'

𝄞 Venus 1st house square uranus in 5th house

An unexpected relationship? Or an unexpected love interest. I could be attracting a lot of borderline unwanted romantic attention. (Venus in aquarius squaring uranus in taurus)

𝄞 Fama (10° Capricorn), saturn (13° Aries) in 2nd H pisces

• gain more attention through aesthetics

• getting attention for care in expenses

• being frugal/ disciplined with finances

• spending/earning money on/from esoteric stuff

• hard time controlling money ʕ⁠´⁠•⁠ ⁠ᴥ⁠•̥⁠`⁠ʔ

• if I start offering my services, I might get a lot of traction/clients, but it might be more than I can handle if I don't put up any limits/restrictions

𝄞 Neptune (27° gemini) in 3rd H pisces

• talking on social media

• speaking with a dreamy gentle tone

• I might lose my train of thought quite often TT

• talking about esoteric knowledge/ metaphysical

• bursts of creative writing

𝄞 Neptune (27° gemini) trine mars in 7th house

Working on or creating art, music, writing with a partner. Could also mean learning or talking about the occult with someone closely. Could be creative projects with partners/coworkers/friends. Working well in collaborative projects.

𝄞 North node (2°taurus), chiron (19°) in 3rd H aries

• focus on communication/learning

• communication & mental fatigue

• feeling burdened by the amount of work that has to done

• feels like I have to juggle my intellect between a lot of events

•. feeling rushed with projects or events concerning writing or speaking

• having a lot of ideas, offering a service related to writing, thinking, communicating (literally signaling that I'll be starting private readings lmaoo)

𝄞 4th H in aries, mars (r) in 7th H

• living situation feels rushed, combative, competitive

• independent home life, living alone, switching housemates

• arguments amongst the people I live with, being outside more often

• visits to a significant person (?), constant moving around

• visiting people I work with /clubs/organizations a lot & being at home less

• reflecting approach to relationships

₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ .₊๋‧₊

𝄞 Uranus retrograde (23° Aquarius) in 5th H taurus

• rethinking what brings excitement to me

• thinking of picking up strange hobbies

• unexpected love interests

𝄞 Jupiter retrograde (14°taurus) in 5th H gemini

• reshaping what truly brings value and joy especially in love life, being more careful with love interests

• getting a lot of new experiences

𝄞 6th H gemini, mercury in 11th H:

• making a lot of new friends online

• popularity amongst coworkers

• gaining a lot of diverse friends

• doing daily activities w friends

• talking a lot during work

• creative collaborations

• working online more, posting more

𝄞 Groom (4° cancer) retrograde in 6th H cancer

Working with future spouse but it also counts if I'm doing something related to him on a daily basis. In my case, I think I'll be writing about him but also longing for him (hah!). Longing to be next to him. Even if I meet him this year, I don't think we'll be able to spend much time face to face with eachother because of distance or work. Our routines may clash.

𝄞 Descendant in cancer (17° leo), moon in 8th H

• feeling safe & comfort within relationships

• harmonious relationships

• changes in relationships

• possible crushes, secret relationships

𝄞 Briede (8° Scorpio) in Sagittarius 11th house squaring moon (8° Scorpio) in Virgo 8th house

I could learn (realize) something quite hard about my love life (more specifically life as a wife). Perhaps it will be harder than I thought it would be. I might have to sacrifice a lot for it.

𝄞 Briede (8° scorpio) conjunct mercury in 11th house

I could be learning more about myself as a wife online, or through purchasing esoteric services. People could also gossip about me or my relationship this year. Could be online, could be my social circle as well. However, it's likely I'll just be the one yapping about the Briede (19029) asteroid/persona chart a lot next year.

𝄞 Mars (4° cancer) retrograde in 7th H leo

Getting secret admirers, my love life could be quite difficult. Perhaps my future spouse and I will be butting heads or have a few arguments. However, since it's retrograde I think rather than being mad at eachother we'll be frustrated with our situation. That is, if we do "meet".

On the other hand, it also means indirect confessions, or having to take the leadership role/compromise a lot in joint collaborative work i.e assignments.

𝄞 Mars opposite pluto in 1st house

If this concerns my FS, we could have disagreements on whether our relationship should be public or not, our relationship could also effect our images greatly whether good or bad, or both.

If not, then this means I'll be taking on more work than I'm supposed to this year, finding it difficult to let things go as is, or some group members may be rather negligent of their tasks, forcing me to decide what to do.

𝄞 7th house ruler in 8th house

A secret relationship? Something scandalous could be happening in my love life. Since it's Cancer/moon, I could be keeping a lot of my feelings about this person a secret. Our relationship could be kept a secret as well. Could be a karmic relationship.

𝄞 8th H in leo, sun in 12th H (29°leo)

• nightmares could be possible perhaps due to exhaustion

• deep introspection of self

• reshaping how I attract attention

• choosing to be alone, do my own thing

• having to keep a lot of secrets

• I might travel on my own this year

𝄞 Moon (8° Scorpio), vertex (15° gemini) in 8th H virgo

• the way I think & process emotions will be transformed

• fated transformation/death/rebirth

• feelings are more intense this year

• lots of fast, sudden, "unexpected" new beginnings

𝄞 9th H in virgo, mercury in 11th H

• travelling with friends

• travelling for studies

• documenting travels

• planning travels

• working with friends

𝄞 POF (26°Taurus) in 9th H virgo

Perhaps I'll have good luck with my assignments. I'll be very focused and lucky when it comes to my studies. I'll be very hard working, and that hard work will be paid off.

𝄞 Lilith (19° Libra) 9th H in libra

There may be some issues with traveling alone. I might have to be moving around alone a lot even if I'm not comfortable with it. There might be some disagreements or slight dissatisfaction when it comes to studies or friendships.

𝄞 10th H in libra (23°aquarius ), venus in 1st H

• harmonious work

• popularity in work

• self focused work

• attracting more attention in general

• something about my relationship/love life could be highlighted or very prominent, a relationship could be revealed as well

• being an "IT" girl

• working on social media? Doing something I've never done before, getting attention for it

𝄞 Union (24° pisces) & Juno (15° gemini) Scorpio in 10th house:

Working with future spouse. Meeting through my work..? Meeting through my blog? Lmao. Honey are you reading this?! I don't see myself working with him on his career (at least not yet), perhaps he'll be reading my posts (writing) online and not notice it's me at first. This makes the most sense to me at the moment but it's just a theory though.

Note: SRC union conjuncts my natal union, SRC Pluto conjunct natal Juno, SRC Uranus conjunct natal Briede in the 3rd house, SRC Chiron (retrograde ) conjunct natal Boda.

There seems to be something significant about my love life but it looks like I'll also be rather weary of it at first. Perhaps I'll be contemplating on what I truly need or believe about my FS, things may feel rather rushed, and I might start having second thoughts about how things will progress. I think so especially because both SRC Chiron & natal Boda are in Aries. A lot of second-guessing may occur. A lot of procrastinating for some reason.

𝄞 Vesta (24° pisces) Libra 10th house:

I'll be making a lot of new connections, friends and relationships. Most of my new friends/acquaintances are ( and will be) from different states & even countries. Our relationship will likely be very harmonious or mostly harmonious. We will share the same goal or drive. Meeting new acquaintances through my blog perhaps?

𝄞 11th house in scorio, pluto in 1st house

• posting more online

• being more popular online

• transforming online identity

• transformation social circles

Something shocking about me could be revealed to my close circles, or even on my blog. The blog might come under scrutiny this year as well, with people suddenly flocking in to either disagree with my posts or just people looking into my blog more (usually with an intent to dig some dirt or information about me). This could also cause a lot of discomfort or discourse trying to continue something I've been doing or even cause a shift in the way I approach something.

• could be related to my face reveal hoho

𝄞 12th H in Sagittarius, jupiter retrograde in 5th H

Education being draining or tiring. I could be rather burdened by school work or assignments, perhaps I'll be doing most of my work alone or may not truly feel connected to my work. Uni life will grant me a lot of opportunities to do things I wouldn't normally do. Perhaps I'll have a lot of fun doing assignments & learn to love my life here.

I'm also really close to the capital city of my country so I'll be able to go to many, manyy events in & out of uni on my own. Since it's in retrograde it's still going to be quite overwhelming. A little bit of a culture shock for me as well.

𝄞 Boda (24° ) conjunct Eros (26°) in 12th H Sagittarius

• thinking/dreaming of marriage feeling more connected to the future, being more laid back about love, marriage, and connections, going with the flow

₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ . ₊ ⊹ .₊๋‧₊ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ .₊๋‧₊ ˚ ⊹ ࣭ ⭑ ⭑

Thank you for reading ily!! ♡

@northopalshore

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harrisonarchive · 18 days ago

Text

Photo by Robert Whitaker (?).

“The mania seemed to get out of proportion. That wasn’t what I was looking for. Some people like that sort of thing. I like to be successful and popular, but there comes a point when it’s unhealthy that people think you’re something you’re not — and the next thing is that these fans get out on a trip and limit what you may be, in their eyes. You know, it’s just a concept they create, a concept of what you are, and then they start the bit that says, ‘Aw, they’re not what they used to be.’ Well, I used to say this and I say it again now — we might not have been what we used to be. What these fans mean is that we’re not what their concept thought we were. People put you into a pigeonhole and you’ve got to fight your way out of it, for their good as well as your own. All I ever wanted from that scene was to remain an individual, and of course being a Beatle placed a severe restriction on individuality in the eyes of those screaming fans.” - George Harrison, Melody Maker (September 6, 1975) “[After LSD,] the feeling began in me of, well, it’s all well and good being popular and being in demand but, you know, it’s *ridiculous*, really. I think from then on I didn’t enjoy fame. That’s when the novelty disappeared, around 1966, and then it became hard work. […] I mean, [LSD] has a humbling power, that stuff. And the ego — to be able to deal with these people thinking you were some wonderful thing — it was difficult to come to terms with. I was feeling, you know, like *nothing*.” - George Harrison, Rolling Stone (November 5, 1987) “I’m just a human, and sometimes you have to, rather than just be ordinary, you have to, you know, make an effort to be more ordinary, inasmuch as they will calm down and try to see that there’s actually a person in here other than this big myth about The Beatles, you know, that’s all.” - George Harrison, The Midday Show (1988)

#George Harrison #quote #quotes by George #Beatlemania #George and fame #The Beatles #Harrison spirituality #1960s #1980s #fits queue like a glove

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celaenaeiln · 1 year ago

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What are you favorite things about Dickkory?

Please and Thank You☺️

SO. MANY. THINGS!!!

Where do I start?!

Their freedom

Their dedication

Their dynamic

Ok so my favorite thing - well one of three favorite things - about Dick and Kory is that they just let each other be who they are.

What I mean is Dick never tells Kori she has to look a certain way, act a certain way, or talk a certain way. Obviously he's going to stop her from killing people but he loves her for who she is.

Secret Origins (1986) Issue #13

This means the WORLD to me because EVERYONE loves Kori for her body canonically. Like every single guy is just so turned on by her looks but for Dick that doesn't matter. He loves her wholely and purely. I'm tearing up a little by how much respect he gives her.

The New Titans (1988) Issue #71

You have no idea how happy his words make me. He never ever EVER blames Kori for the way she dresses or restricts her in any fashion. He's always extremely supportive of her. If she wants to do modeling? He's all for it. If she wants to go dancing? He's right there with her. She wants to try something new? He's helping her. He is SUCH a supportive boyfriend in everything she does. The killing is still off-limits ofcourse but everything else he loves her so much. He loves her for who she is not how she looks.

The New Titans (1988) Issue #71

He NEVER puts her down. And she never puts him down. They're supportive. And this I can appreciate even more because some of Dick's other love interests have it out for him. They get some type of power play about digging open his insecurities and throwing his faults in his face but not her. He's aware of his own faults, he doesn't need that to be used as a weapon against him like some more modern love interests do. Kori's understanding and loving and in response to that Dick treats her like a queen.

That's the first reason. The second reason is they help each other.

Dick can be difficult to deal with because he locks his emotions away. When he feels stressed he isolates himself because he doesn't want to talk to anyone about how he's feeling. But Kori? She doesn't resent him for that. She actually patiently tries to get him to open up. She's understanding and loving of him and his situation. I love them because when things get hard they don't just abandon each other, move on, and then get back together again after they've solved their own problems alone - no. They work hard to work through it together.

The New Teen Titans (1980) Issue #28

Dick and Kori come from vastly different cultures and have different beliefs so this causes problems. Here Dick's contemplating settling down with Kori because of how she kills people.

The New Teen Titans (1984) Issue #13

But in the face of it all, losing her is imporant to him that their difference in values

The New Teen Titans (1984) Issue #14

The New Teen Titans (1984) Issue #15

The thing about Dick and Kori having problems is that it's inspiring. Like you see all the troubles they faced, all the hardships, differences, and difficulties they went and it's amazing. Because Dick and Kori come from two different world. Literally. But they worked hard on their relationship. They worked through their differences because they loved each other so much that they wanted to stay together.

We could've have Dick and Kory forever if the real life Batman office writers hadn't broken off their wedding because they wanted to take Dick away from the Titans and give him to Batman. Do you realize what this means? If DC writers Dick hadn't been ripped away and Kori hadn't been disparaged by them, we would STILL be reading about Dick and Kory now. They would've been married and had kids by now.

But that brings me to my point - their love is amazing because they worked on the things that were different. It's awe-inspiring to love someone so much that you'll stay with them through anything.

Dickkory is my number one romantic pair for this reason. The problems that Dick has faced in his subsequent relationships is NOTHING compared to what he worked through with Kori. Which is why it frustrates me when a love interest abandons him at first stirrings of trouble because "hello? what you're getting now is cleaned up dick grayson. This is like playing a game on easy mode and still failing. If you can't be there for him when he has his act together, how could you ever be there for him when he's truly struggling?"

Going back to the scene at hand, Dick still stays with Kori but Kori is forced to marry another man at her father's orders and this is what breaks them apart. Because Kori is married to Ryand'r and Dick loves her. But despite this?

The New Teen Titans (1984) Issue #32

For Dick on the other hand it takes a case for him to understand -

The New Teen Titans (1984) Issue #34

But he gets it.

The New Teen Titans (1984) Issue #34

They come back stronger than ever.

Their love is the greatest romance of the ages for this reason. Your partner is your confidant. When the whole world turns against you, YOU need to be there by their side and they need to stand by you through everything. If you suddenly go from being rich to dirt poor, your parents abandon you, your friends betray you - the greatest love is standing with your partner through everything.

And Dick loves Kori for this too

Tales of the Teen Titans Issue #44

And that's what they embody and that's why I respect them.

Their relationship isn't a shattered vase glued together, their relationship is a muscle growth. You exercise, you stress the muscle and tear it. It causes you pain but that tear heals and the result is a stronger muscle and a healtier and fitter body. They're just so great.

So the second reason was their dedication to each other. The third reason is I love their dynamic!!

Kori is aggressive and strong but loving where as Dick is softer and strong but loving. It's like a girlboss and powerful malewife dynamic. Dick is phsycially shorter and smaller than Kori and Kori taller than him. They way she carries him around and touches him and holds him?!

The New Teen Titans (1984) Issue #15

The way that Dick gets so jealous and tries to show off for Kori only for his mount to slip off the cliff is so cute!! To everyone Dick is this cool, sexy, intelligent, perfect figure. The only time he gets childlishly jealous and reckless is when he's with Kori. And then having Kori bridal carry him after his mistake is just priceless.

But Dick doesn't begrudge Kori for this. What I love about Dick loving Kori is that he loves her for her power.

The Flash (1987) Issue #81

Dick thirsting for people who can pick him up and throw him around will always be my favorite part of him.

"I love that in a woman."

Yeah, Dick, we can hear that loud and clear. See it too.

LIKE LOOK AT THIS!!!-

Dark Knights of Steel Issue #7

With Kori there's no hesitation to give Dick affirmation.

Tales of the Teen Titans Issue #50

The New Teen Titans (1980) Issue #2

Tales of the Teen Titans Issue #49

Everyone in the entirety of DC knows that Dick is exceedingly pretty. Even villains regularly call him out on it. But it's SO nice to hear his girlfriend tell him that in such an honest and nice non-sleezy way. And that's my probably most favorite thing about them. This girlboss/malewife dynamic they have going on. They're equals but it's not the usual dynamic where the guy showers the girl with compliments and she's satisfied back. She tells him of her own volition how much she loves him and how beautiful he looks. She carries him around and is aggressive in their love. And I just love that so much.

Their love overall is just off the charts.

The New Teen Titans (1984) Issue #39

The New Teen Titans (1980) Issue #38

Teen Titans Spotlight (1988) Issue #19

The New Teen Titans (1984) Issue #10

#dick grayson #nightwing #koriand'r #starfire #dickkori #dickkory #cl confusedhummingbird asks #cl asks #thanks for the ask!

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mysteryanimator · 3 months ago

Text

Breaking down Castlevania Nocturne Season 02 - Episode 08 “The Devil is Easy to Cheat” Almost Shot-By-Shot

Previous shot analyses: S01E04 - Bedroom scene / S01E06 - Gulity Men to be Judged / S01 E08 -Breakup

Word count: 8.2k (I'm sorry it keeps getting longer)

We have returned once again to “mystery uses their media production and analysis skills, along with their hyperfixation on storyboards to talk about gay vampires, their other hyperfixation”.

For people new to my breakdowns:

If I skip any shots, its because I'm limited to a 30-image limit and some parts just won't have images BUT I will try my best!

I highly advise you to rewatch Nocturne after reading this and make your own thoughts because while this is an analysis, it also comes through my own lens. How you engage with media will be very different to me, however, there are principles that are followed to elicit certain types of emotions from an overall perspective. I'm here to break down those film codes and artistic principles :D I will be drawing over some of them, while others will be moving.

These are just observations based on my background in media production and analysis (I’ve been out of the field for a bit but trying to strengthen it back since it is important for storyboarding). Despite all of that, this is for fun, which is why I will be writing a lot more casually (which therefore specific interpretations may bleed through), so please don't take this too seriously! This not only helps me out as a student to become aware of how stories are put together and, in turn, how to apply them and make my own. It also allows me to impart that excitement to you and helps everyone to understand why they might be so drawn to a particular scenes (me included)! Shot choices matter, especially when you have only 12 episodes, a deadline, a budget, asset restrictions, and so on. It all has to count. Everything matters.

Passionate creatives care and there is more than "the curtain is blue just because." The times when things slip under the radar and are put there just because are mostly due to executive decisions, budget restrictions, deadlines and a lot more that we don't get to see from an audience perspective. I think in this day and age, people do forget about how intentional the media they consume is and Castlevania is choked full of carefully curated scenes.

With that out of the way, let's talk about gay vampires !!!

[Can't believe we're starting with no image. I can't show it due to image limits, I'm saving them for other scenes. Feel free to follow along on Netflix!]

After Edouard and Annette's conversation, we have shots of buildings. This is to establish a jump in time and a new scene occurring! Showcasing this large building is important because we cut to Olrox carrying Mizrak after this, and once you mentally pair that with this large building, it'll sink in that Olrox has been walking with Mizrak in his arms for a while now. We do not know what happened from the time we saw Mizrak walking side by side with Olrox to now, but we know he's getting worse for wear.

Then we get a close-up of a window!! Mizrak and Olrox scenes in season 01 were either introduced through pulled-out establishing shots that contained a lot of greenery (the courtyard in ep 03 / the breakup hill in ep 08) OR via windows of the inn. This gets continued here.

We get candles too and fire symbolizes life and we've already had Olrox state how his previous lover "burned with such passion". These candles supernaturally light up, which builds to foreshadow the transformation Mizrak will have as he goes from dying to being "alive" through supernatural means.

The following midshot purposefully cuts off their faces to continue to build suspense. Having a lack of face means we're unable to connect to them which is intentional. It makes us yearn to connect deeper because we can clearly see something is absolutely wrong. Mizrak isn't walking. This is super uncharacteristic of Mizrak and doesn't align with what we saw last.

[omg yay an image]

This is a midshot in which the camera moves from top to bottom/bottom to top. This type of camera movement is called a pedestal, though I have seen it be called a boom/jib. For any general camera movements, whether that be the aforementioned pedestal or a pan, the camera has to be motivated by something in the scene to move in that direction. So what is the motivator for this specific camera movement in this shot? The order of who we see in the shot.

It begins with Mizrak because now we finally have a clear view of him and he practically encompasses most of the screen because he's horizontal and how we view shows is with a landscape screen. Immediately the first half of this shot tells us two things. It's Mizrak and Mizrak is dying. It's something we need to immediately pick up on because the camera begins to move up. After all, a particular face is cut off. It's Olrox's. The second part of this shot has us reveal it is Olrox who is carrying Mizrak and what expression he's making. Dividing up our focus and moving the camera makes it less overwhelming to us as an audience to engage with this scene because it lets us focus on one thing at a time and builds up a shock factor. This is helped by the fact that the first focus point is horizontal, then when the camera moves up to shift focus, Olrox is dead center vertical.

This also feels like a reference to La Pietà. It is a sculpture of Jesus and Mary depicting the Seven Sorrows of the Virgin Mary. La Pietà depicts the sixth, John 19:39-40. Jesus is being taken down from the cross and put into Mary's arms. While the death is over, Mary still grieves the loss of her son. What follows after this is the seventh sorrow as she watches Christ's burial waiting for his resurrection which feels very in line with what's happening right now.

[no image my bad sorry for the long wall of text]

Next, we have an extreme close-up of Olrox's eyes.

Eyes are a massive thing within this scene alone, and this shot here helps to establish his current thoughts and feelings because they take Olrox's eyes away after this. We no longer become privy to his inner world. Eyes are by far one of the easiest tells of a character and their current thoughts. Eyes are the window to the soul. Mizrak also in previous scenes has a ton of focus and close-ups of his eyes because he is such a guarded character but his eyes do tend to betray him. The exact same thing can be said for Olrox (his eyes betray him with Drolta when he lies about not seeing Belmont and co, won't lie, it's really funny).

One thing to note is the asymmetry of his hair, which never usually falls in front of his face. This is where I bring your attention in season 02, Drolta and Ezerbet questioned what Olrox has sacrificed. What or who he would die for. His hair has fallen in front of his face VERY MESSYILY in that instance as he looks down in deep thought. While there are other instances of his hair in front of his face, the example I brought up is personally the strongest call back (however I can be totally wrong and there can be more!)

Not only big wide expansive shots are used to establish new locations, close-ups do! They're usually always followed up by much wider shots, however. The purpose here is to show Olrox entering a new location, and moving from the hallway to the bedroom. This is super important to establish because this is the final leg of the journey they both have to traverse. We need to see them get from point A to point B or else it does not feel as impactful. The silent moments matter heavily for this type of scene because they say a lot.

Also, I'm a sucker for these types of compositions/lighting, it's actually one of my favorite shots in this scene. The doorway literally frames Olrox into a box and it keeps him centered in the shot. As he walks through, it is purposefully dark around him and the only light that peeks through is from behind. Backlighting a character not only helps to distinctly separate the character from the background, it often gives a halo effect which is associated with the divine and otherworldly. It can establish how powerful a character is. HOWEVER, Olrox is walking Mizrak away from the light, which can further strengthen Mizrak's descent into vampirism as it can be considered turning away from God due to the inability to accept human ailments and death.

This is a wide shot to establish the interior we're in. It's absolutely used to contrast the much smaller inn room in season 01 episode 03. The beginning of their relationship versus the end. The camera here uses a truck movement (the camera moving side to side, in this case, left to right). Its intention is to follow Olrox and draw our eye towards the bed in this scene, as this is where the rest of the scene will take place.

Now, if you’ve read my previous analyses, you will know how much talk about Olrox holding Mizrak from behind. It’s a key characteristic, it is so important to see their mental states as characters.

Olrox right now is holding Mizrak from behind. Except this time, Mizrak is accepting it.

The first time Olrox holds Mizrak from behind is he tries to persuade him out of death. The second (and third) time Olrox holds Mizrak from behind is to forcibly tear him away from death. This is the last time Olrox holds him from behind because he’s actively dying. though in this instance, instead of persuading or forcibly trying to pull him away from death- it’s him ending up gently carrying him away from death. Or one could even argue, that Olrox is actually gently taking Mizrak towards his death instead of preventing it. Death to his human self and his man-made chains.

While Mizrak never explicitly states “yes bite me turn me into a vampire”, and the room for ambiguity is there, there is an acceptance from Mizrak that begins the moment we see him in Olrox’s arms. Time and time again, we have seen Mizrak constantly fighting against Olrox, either by physically pulling away or saying the most horrific things known to man. This is entirely different. He’s being carried the ENTIRE WAY to the bed without fighting Olrox. His posture is a lot more open and exposed towards Olrox. He in this moment is giving himself up to him.

Why another wide shot? For the boxes lets gooo, Myst loves boxes and frames.

This shot uses the setting to frame Olrox and Mizrak. The bedframe acts to box them in and create a small space just for the two of them outside the view of anyone else. The background behind them showcases the hallway Olrox traversed and its length emphasizes the distance Olrox has been walking just for Mizrak to lay and rest.

By the way, why I'm wording what Mizrak tells Olrox as a confession later in this analysis is because of this shot. This deeply reminds me of the Anglo-Catholic practice of private confessionals. It feels like Olrox is here as a higher judgment, sitting and listening to Mizrak's confession of penitent. The boxing-in of the shots and how private it is begins to deeply feel like a confessional.

A close-up! While an extreme close-up is where the creative behind the shot forces you to focus on one thing, a normal close-up is usually aimed at the face and intended to communicate what the character is feeling or their current headspace with a whole facial performance. So, as you could probably surmise from this shot, what the artist intends to communicate a few things:

Olrox putting him down (neck area)

Mizrak breathing raggedly (mouth)

Mizrak opened his eyes to look at Olrox (top of face)

Mizrak is SO GREY, he lacks proper colour (overall face)

So for all of that to be seen, a close-up is needed.

Ok, why punch into an extreme close-up here if we already have a close-up of Mizrak in the exact same pose? This one solely focuses on his eyes. As I stated with Olrox's eye close-up, eyes are a massive thing in this wholeee section, so now it's Mizrak's turn for a eye close-up. Especially since for the remainder for this, Olrox does not show his face and Mizrak basically communicates for the both of them. The way Mizrak talks and looks at Olrox is an indication of how Olrox could be feeling.

Also, how can you not have an eye shot paired with the line "You've seen the devil, then, waiting for me." This falls into place really well.

This midshot does a lot of things, more importantly, it establishes where characters are in the scene because, for the rest of this entire section, it is basically all close-ups. This helps to ground where everything is because later on, Mizrak gets panicked. In turn, the camera and timing match that, therefore we can begin to lose our sense of where we are WHICH is a good thing to sell that idea, however, we need to establish where everything is before that is done.

This also establishes Olrox is just never going to be showing his face until the very end because now the camera has locked itself to this side of the characters.

Another thing is also how Mizrak's wound is practically in the middle of the shot. It is more clearly obvious that the wound is straight in the middle of where the cross is on his uniform. Mizrak in a funny not so funny way, is being martyred. He is dying refusing to give up his faith or beliefs. While he is defined by his religion because that's a core aspect of his character, he actually mostly believes in the people. He believes and cares strongly for characters like Maria who neither of them politically align together, but he makes sure she gets to her house. He wants her safe.

This midshot is very important because while Olrox's face is purposefully obscured, Mizrak's face never does. What's interesting is that Mizrak is looking directly at Olrox as he braves his confession of weakness. Not only is Mizrak's eyeline just up toward him, but Olrox's body is just purposefully included in this shot. When Mizrak continues to confess his fears further into this scene, in the back of our minds we have the fact Olrox is intently listening the entire time even though he is shunning himself away from the audience. For the next three shots, he literally disappears from the audience's perspective, but not from Mizrak's eye line. His current expression when listening to him is literally just for Mizrak to know.

These are all extreme close-ups! The purpose of this is to directly have you focused a very specific reaction and emotion! The main focus of the first shot is to solely focus on Mizrak's eyes looking directly at Olrox, then him looking down and away from his face before getting scared literally the moment his eyes move off him and he looks back up at him. Multiple different reads of the situation can be applied here since why Mizrak looks down is not exactly stated to us. One thing I will say is that what motivates a character to move their eyes down another character's body is to literally check their body, either for attraction or concern.

Mizrak is dying here though. Why does his eyes drop? It can be for a multitude of different reason but the most likely is the self-actualisation of the eternity of torment.

What's important too is that in the second shot, Mizrak's hand shakes before stopping. We need to see that. Especially paired with that specific line because his shakes stop after saying "no release", which is basically a visual contradiction. Having something visually stop while having a dialogue about unending pain and suffering. To me personally, this hand movement can read as two things, though there are definitely more interpretations, these are my two takes based on different focuses.

Tremors are caused by fear, but he however can control them which is why it stops. This is his last attempt to feel like he has control over his situation. This is based off the fact the line contradicts the action taking place.

This isn't him shaking, this is him fighting himself to reach out to Olrox physically. His hands can be read as clenching and unclenching rather than tremors. This is based off the idea of how visually Mizrak is alone in these shots and Olrox's presence in a is absent (but can be sensed he is outside of our line of sight).

Hey so, fun fact, this has happened before. Extreme close up of hands/eyes whilst they talk about demons/hell. BOTH SIDE PROFILE TOO.

Again, hands and eyes are key indicators of how characters can feel in the moment, and the character Mizrak uses this to great effect since it pairs very well with his guarded persona.

Also oh my god look at him being so full of colour compared to now.

A close-up! It is probably one of the most vital shots in this entire sequence (alongside Olrox's iconic line). Mizrak cries A LOT in this season, but here, he purposefully doesn't try to hide or turn away- he admits this while staring directly at him.

An important detail is that his dialogue of torture and agony are all solo shots. Alone. This is on purpose. This confession of fear is also visually alone, but he calls out to Olrox by name in this solo shot. What this does is that it gives permission for Olrox to re-enter the scene, hell, you could argue Mizrak is begging Olrox to re-enter the scene. Technically, Olrox has not left the scene because Mizrak stares at him the entire time during his confession, but Olrox has left the audience's line of sight, which makes Mizrak's shots feel that much more isolated and alone.

This is a personal take, but it also has evidence. This is one of the bravest things Mizrak has said thus far in the entire series. His bravery and strength should not be measured by running into battle to protect the ones who cannot protect themselves- his measure of courage and strength lies in being vulnerable and admitting weakness. I actually discussed it in my season 01 - episode 04 analysis, so the groundwork for shielding vulnerability only for it to be opened up has been there from the very beginning. There is build-up and now it's being released all in one go, which is really interesting considering the fact Mizrak talks about agony upon agony with no release, but here, he's releasing all of his emotions.

Mizrak has also said Olrox’s name about three times now. That is the exact amount Olrox said Mizrak’s name in the last season. Funnily enough if you squint hard enough they can be call and responses to each other.

S01E03 - “Has the world abandoned you, Mizrak?”

S02E04 - “I’ve seen enough too, Olrox.” (girl what have you seen please tell us)

S01E06 - “Of course not Mizrak, I’m not in love with you.”

S02E05 - “If you do have soul Olrox, and maybe you do. I hope it finds peace.”

S01E08 - “I don’t want you to die, Mizrak.”

S02E08 - “I’m afraid, Olrox.”

In any visual entertainment medium, repetition comes in threes so something has to happen after this, which we'll get to very shortly (it's the "my love" part).

This close-up of Olrox is used to slow down the scene and break the tension caused by Mizrak's scenes. It's utterly silent, a complete contrast to the panic and the wordy confession by Mizrak.

What this shot does is help build anticipation for him to share the screen space with Mizrak as he lowers himself in this shot. We're also not privy to his face. This also builds up the anticipation of seeing his face later on and really hammers that impact.

This shot is very important as it reintroduces Olrox to be in the same visual space as Mizrak and this is the very first thing he does.

When reintroducing Olrox back in, two new things are introduced. Well more so not new things, two pre-existing motifs/concepts get elevated.

Hands. This is not new, hell, Olrox holding Mizrak is by far not a new thing and it is one of the key visual characteristics of their dynamic, hand-holding however, is definitely new.

"My love", is absolutely very new, but of course it is a replacement for Mizrak. Mizrak's name gets elevated to my love.

What's also very interesting is how pulled out this shot is. This is important however as two different elements are here to strengthen this shot.

Mizrak's entire dagger is in this shot. A weapon of violence is here to contrast the gentle nature of Olrox reaching for Mizrak's hand. The matter of fact that the dagger is placed in this shot BUT lacks any very heavy visual weight implies how any agony, torture, or violence is currently being subsided as Olrox's hand is in front of it.

The bed sheet takes up a major part of the lower thirds of this shot. Take notice of it's colour and pattern. I do go over it in my mindless talks about the Nocturne eye colour analysis, but I'll reword it to fit the context of this scene in particular.

Olrox is coded purple and green. Not only in his character design, but in the locations he's often put in. If you think back to every single space Olrox has shared with Mizrak they are all green. Mostly grassy outdoor environments, however, if they are not outside, the inn is very naturalistic in colour and framing like nature itself. This showcases where Olrox is compared to Mizrak in a power dynamic. Mizrak just does not have any strong vibrant colours to define him that aren't monochromatic or brown, but that's kind of the whole point of his character. This just easily allows for when he shares a space with Olrox, the green and any other vibrant colour to overwhelm Mizrak, and in a funny way, make Mizrak stand out very oddly because Mizrak isn't visually a vibrant character.

So this one shot, it basically informs us how Olrox is wrapped around Mizrak and is not willing to let go.

This is shot is so impactfullllllll, the build up to this is soooo good.

This is a close-up shot, what's important though is how much Olrox visually takes up screen space-wise, completely contrasting the previous shot. Especially since this is the first time we haven't seen his face in a while. This shot chooses to specifically focus on Olrox's eyes and mouth. This builds to anticipate what is to come and have us on the edge of our seats, questioning if Olrox is going to actually bite Mizrak. The closeness of the shot too makes this scene very intimate to continue this more romantic, yet still dark atmosphere going on.

Also what's important to mention again is Olrox's hair strands, which is used to block and frame this shot. In a sense, it makes the shot that much more suffocating and close in. While Olrox does not show any panic or fear emotionally, simply because Olrox is trying to comfort Mizrak, this feels like Olrox is in fear. By having this line paired with a close-up of Olrox only, it makes it feel like Olrox is locked to the one sole option. His sole decision. He's currently not going to be taking any other suggestions because how can he? Mizrak admitted his fear of death/hell, and by no means Olrox is giving into Mephistopheles/Old Man Coyote.

What choice does he have? He has no other choice... right?

The theme of choices is a massive thing in Nocturne Season 01. Olrox's first appearance in the show is with him says "don't listen to her, there is always a choice". Olrox is the one to introduce this theme of choices, but here now, Olrox is backed into a corner with no other choice.

[No image sorry]

Next we have a close-up of Mizrak's eyes.

While this will not be the last we ever see of Mizrak's eyes since we have another shot, his eyes are important. This reaction is important. We need the pause for the gasp and his shock. What's important is that his eyes do all the talking which in my mind is much more powerful as it communicates ten different billion things and leaves it up to the audience's interpretation of how to engage with this scene.

However, the most important takeaway for everyone is that we have to see Mizrak be shocked.

This is important because of course, a close-up of the mouth is there to state how Olrox is going to bite him, therefore you need to put a lot of emphasis on that to really hammer it in, but the focus of the mouth moves. It does not move with Olrox however, Olrox moves himself and out of the camera. This puts emphasis on his descent, really building for that anticipation of the bite but it gives us one last tiny glance at Olrox's mental headspace before the bite.

It is so brief, but we see his eye and that's important. You don't include anything that isn't important because this is a serialised animated series, you're not going to spend additional time on something that lacks importance (I think, this is me guessing I can be so wrong here). Also, his eyes are green they're going to stand out against black and brown. His eyebrow is upturned and his eye, from what i can personally read, is far more gentler than his previous shot.

(i won't lie, seeing this loop is very funny to me)

Another close up and this is the final time we see Mizrak's very brown human irises. This is the last thing we see of his humanity. This is animation, so it's important to capture Mizrak's face before the bite, Mizrak's initial shock of pain and some sort of acceptance as his irises settle back to normal size before closing them with tears. Honestly, it's better to just click through it on Netflix frame by frame if you really want to see the arcs Mizrak goes through in this one shot, its very cool to see him go through all these phases in a short amount of time. While nothing is stated outright for the morally grey area which is on purpose. It builds off the whole conversation from the season 01 episode 06.

Mizrak: And you did that to him? Did you even ask for permission?

Olrox: I was in love with him, I wanted him to be with me forever.

Mizrak: And is that what you have planned for me?

Olrox: Of course not, Mizrak. I'm not in love with you.

This leads to one of two outcomes for the future. Either Olrox repeating a cycle beat for beat, or Olrox trying to fix previous mistakes in a "what would I do differently if I went through this again." Both come from his survivor's guilt. This will be explored further in season 03 (please I need it so bad) in a much more complicated nuanced way because this is Mizrak we're talking about. Despite him having overlapping traits with Olrox's previous lover, he is also the very opposite of him (that we know of since we can gather Mizrak is so self-loathing, while Olrox's previous lover embraced his connection to the land and fought for the rights of his people, so we can make the assumption that he embraced his whole identity).

This mid-shot paired with another pedestal camera move! The camera is motivated to move up so it can showcase the new character positions in the location, Mizrak's hand placement, Olrox's arm and of course the biteeee, followed by Mizrak's expression. It's staggered one after the other.

One thing you must notice is Mizrak putting a hand on Olrox's elbow (this gif makes it so hard to see, this is me asking you to rewatch it on Netflix for a better view) which can imply acceptance of vampirism. It's animated intentionally. Again, nothing is stated outright, but also media is kind of boring to engage in if you spell it out verbally. What's the point of a visual medium without using visuals to a storyyyy. It also just gives autonomy to the audience to come to their own conclusions which is also more fun. The lack of a spelled-out answer makes us more engaged as an audience.

Then we get a fade to blackkkkkkk~

While this is mostly just to symbolize the end of a scene, in a lot of other media, fade to black is used to cut away from sexually intimate scenes which is funny knowing that context.

What's fun is that this scene is supposed to run parallel with Richter and Annette's scene kissing (I'm not sure, there could been a stronger scene to parallel this, I just know in my soul of them is supposed to go in line with a Richter/Annette scene). One character takes care of their partner's aliments and sharing an intimate moment together. Whilst they are definitely not one-for-one, these two couples are supposed to show different aspects of love as this entire series, both the original and Nocturne, have very strong themes of love in it. This also just allows for whatever they have planned for season 03 to make them still feel closely tied even if they're literally doing completely different things.

Ok we are done with this sequence, time to jump to the spicy one!

This is our establishing shot for the scene. Curtains. A window. Through both season 01 and season 02, we’ve been getting so many cues about Olrox and Mizrak’s association with windows and curtains. Also, the last time we saw curtains as an establishing shot for Mizrak/Olrox, they were naked. This builds off our previous expectations.

Also, this is super vertical and red. This will be VERY IMPORTANT LATER. Greenish yellow curtains were used to represent Olrox, but this is red.

We jump to pedestal midshot, which just gives us a lot of questions. Where's Mizrak? WHY IS HIS SHIRT OPEN? WHY IS HE LAYING LIKE THAT? NEW CLOTHES??? WHAT'S GOING ON??? That's all intentional because we don't have any setting establishing shots and therefore it feels disorientating on purpose. It forces us into questioning mode. We can only presume we're in the same location due to the bed and camera angle feeling the exact same as where we left off in their previous scene together, but that's all we get.

Pedestal camera movements also just happen a ton in this sequence simply because Mizrak's reveal is all ton in pedestals and it complements nicely with the fabric falling down, so setting up the movement early helps ease it in.

This shot can also totally parallel season 01 episode 04 where Olrox turns to look at Mizrak leaving the bed since both of those shots are framed above Olrox. This can also totally parallel Olrox killing Julia as his hair is in a circular motion in a similar shape to the blood.

@ifishouldvanish did an amazing breakdown of this and for the life of me I cannot find it, but once that's found I'll link it here, in a sense it's basically offering his blood up to Mizrak here.

EDIT: Thank you Vanish for sharing it! This comments the Olrox/Julia parallel along with discussing the Quetzalcoatl and how they overlap with what's occurring in this scene! You can read it here!

We cut into this close-up! The main thing here is directing our eye-line to stay on the left of the screen and build anticipation for Mizrak's face. Every single shot's aim is mostly for that build-up for that pay off.

Close-ups, as I've stated before, are used mainly to see an emotional performance from the character and therefore personally connect to their feelings. This however, which I will be personally honest, is so hard to read but I feel that's on purpose to give into the ambiguity aspect of not only the scene but also of Olrox as a character. Both Olrox and Mizrak are expressive and extremely very guarded, so it definitely leans into that. It also gives the audience the autonomy to come to their own conclusions. Like this can read as a very gentle smile, it can read as a subdued concerned look- it's your interpretation and how you personally engage with this entire sequence. It allows the ending to be a lot more open-ended.

This longshot! It gives more of the background to establish where characters are in the scene but do notice how things seem different now. Notice the colours in this shot. We're introducing Mizrak's new colour motif. It practically dominates the entire scene, even if Olrox's eyes glow bright green. Not only this, this shot builds up for the anticipation of Mizrak's vampire transformation reveal as all the red fabric drapes down in an almost waterfall/dripping way akin to blood.

We also begin to have the fabric move down, bleeding into other shots to stitch them cohesively together (that pun was intended).

Also, this is super intentional again, but Olrox is boxed/framed by the bed with very harsh lines and rectangles. This deeply contrasts Mizrak's shots because Mizrak doesn't visually get confined by the background due to all the drapery and the blurred background. He is also associated with vertical organic lines. This creates a deep separation between these two characters, giving us suspense and tension because there's a clear disparity between them.

Woo! A midshot! This shot feels so long and so short in timing.

This is super vertical. This shot is 90% made of vertical lines, which brings a ton of focus toward Mizrak's back and the drapery because they're the only two things that are not vertical.

The drapery here is basically a curtain unveiling the main piece. This is Mizrak's rebirth, he has transformed. This is coupled with artistic nudity as nudity isn't inherently sexual and represents the form in its barest sense. You could even say it's religiously coded.

Also in general, if you put anything on the very edge of your shot visually, it creates unease so if you put something as bright as light on the very edge, it makes your shot unbalanced. This is done on purpose. The dark aspect of this shot is literally all-consuming and makes the left heavy focus feel more menacing because there's so much empty dark space.

This mid-shot is paired with a pedestal camera move! The camera is motivated to move in an up/down position due to the last shot having the robe fabric around him move down as a reveal, therefore continuing that movement here to continue the reveal of Mizrak’s transformation. While yes "teehee look at his chest awooga", rightfully so, me too, you notice the blood and wound are absent. Mizrak looks strong and healthy. The pedestal camera movement is used to great effect again because the first thing you're focused on is his chest, then it moves up and you see the bite marks and the ear. Information is slowly given to us.

I'm putting my case down that this shot is a callback to Season 01 Episode 03, in which Olrox peers outside the window of his inn room. They both have this same forlorn look as they look out.

This cut to a close-up and having Mizrak switch up is fucking terrifying. This is because the background is completely blurred to give Mizrak the center stage. The background is completely separate to him, he doesn't feel grounded to it as if he's popping out of the screen. His eyeline is directly at US, the audience.

When Mizrak turns, his eyes glow bright red. We've seen this before where someone turns their head and their eyes shift from their natural colour to bright red. In-fact, Mizrak has seen this before.

Tera does this BEFORE with Emmanuel too when he insinuates on Tera's vampirism affecting her love for Maria. Another example, while not as strong (simply because the freshly turned vampire comparison) is Ezerbet demanding Emmanuel to bring back Drolta but all of these points of contention surround love and so-called monsters having souls.

Side note, it's very interesting that she yells at Emmanuel, but cries over Mizrak's comment and her red eyes disappear. Obviously, the stark difference is that Emmanuel literally sacrificed her, but it showcases that Tera and Mizrak probably were close friends since he makes sure to actively protect her daughter and he knows his way to their house. Just something to think about with these newly turned vampires and how their lives will come to overlap eventually.

While this trait may just be an Ezerbet thing, we don't know, notice how the glowing eyes occur in highly intense emotions surrounding people they love deeply. The Tera example just being stronger to back up this case since she is a recently turned vampire. Eyes are super important in Nocturne for both vampires and humans. Alucard's eyes go bloodshot red like Dracula's when he fully powers up. Maria's eyes go pitch black as she initially summons Seiryuu. Olrox's eyes glow bright green as he spies from Mizrak from his inn room window. Richter's eyes glow icy blue as he fights Drolta and eventually confronts Olrox.

So what does this mean for Mizrak? Again, this will begin to pull into interpretation based on other scenes in the show and how I viewed those. One thing I can say is that Mizrak still "has a mind that can think and a heart that can love" - Olrox S02E01. We need to pull that context from Olrox/Tera's conversation, Tera/Emmanuel's conversation, Ezerbet's demands from Emmanuel, Drolta's night creature transformation, and Alucard's conversation with Maria about Dracula. While there definitely are more conversations that can further strengthen the point I'm making, no matter who you are, monster, vampire, or human, they all have a soul, you are innately the same even after transformation. It is however your choice to indulge in the powers of vampirism and abuse it or stand against its tide. This includes Mizrak now. The choices he makes now are still him. Which why it makes it all the more shocking because the last time we saw him, he was having a crying session, pouring out his heart and soul to Olrox but suddenly now he's quiet and fucking terrifying. We as an audience mentally have to determine which choices he has made. Did he cry after feeding, sobbing over the violence like countless times before or did he indulge in the powers he manifested? Or a third other more complicated idea? I'm not going to say my personal opinion outright to avoid swaying your own because the intention of this shot is to make you question and really dig deep about it.

Also if you're still interested in my personal opinion I feel like it really seeps through in all my fan art and just this informal essay in general. Even then I do have a ton of thoughts about it that are not perceivable in the public eye because, in my brain, their dynamic is so convoluted as individuals LET ALONE THEM PAIRED TOGETHER. The thing is too, multiple different ideas and interpretations co-exist in my brain at the same time so it's really hard to get a proper personal opinion without me just saying "me like Castlevania : Nocturne more than a normal amount."

This is a long shot, it establishes the room they’re in, where the characters are placed and the location. While it is always important, the is colour, character placement and framing is something I’m specifically calling out here.

This is an extremely red room. The colour red is now heavily associated with Mizrak. The only thing that isn’t red is the bed, aka where Olrox is placed. It is green, a colour often associated with him. Often then not, Olrox and Mizrak’s private scenes usually tend to be placed in green environments, giving the sense to the audience of who is higher in the power dynamic. Not only here, that has been changed but with the way the bed frame is placed, it literally boxes Olrox into this section. It makes him appear a lot smaller and appears to take up less space. The roles are swapping. We've already seen this by Olrox joining the fight, and now we have Mizrak accepting vampirism.

This midshot is used to communicate him getting up from the bed and giving Mizrak the same dark stare. It also just gives a reason to see Olrox's torso LOL.

This shot is super vertical which challenges every other shot Olrox has been in because he's been horizontal or laying down the entire time. This and the previous shot is now on par with Mizrak who has been associated with vertical organic lines.

This shot is laced with so much mystery and lack of any conformation because you can also again, interpret as you wish with this shot. That's the allure of it though, that's why people love this shot.

[no image here sorry, curse you 30 image limits]

The next shot I wanted to talk about was the transitional curtain/drapery which is super fun as a way to go between shots. It's a super reminiscence of curtains unveiling a performance on stage or a magician trick behind the curtain to reveal a transformation or something disappearing. What the drapery reveals for the first one is two close ups of Mizrak's new form. His teeth and his dagger-like nails. These are vital to showcase the violent potential of his body. His new weapons.

What's interesting is that Mizrak is growling. Mizrak throughout the entire show harks on about animals, yet he himself has become the thing he's sworn to hate- hell, before his transformation, he literally barks and growled at other people, this is just manifesting it in physical form.

Animals to him (from what I've gathered) are free to follow their heart’s content (which is something Mizrak is yearning, desiring and longing to be like if you think about it), which are not bound by the rules made by mankind. The church's rules appear they are given by God, and the Abbott fights for Him in His name, but these teachings are reinforced by infallible men despite taking vows of obedience, stability and conversatio morum (fidelity to monastic life, which vows of poverty and chastity go under these). Mizrak is blind to the fact he is serving men's idea of God rather than God Himself, but it all begins to unfurl at the seams during season 01 and Mizrak finds himself trying to still cling to it in season 02, but it's just himself now. It is literally just faith as his companion at this point.

Ok Mystery, tell me how this shot of Mizrak’s ass is important. Why incorporeal voice, I’d love to tell you. So I'm not joking when I say this is Mizrak liberating himself from his man-made chains. Nudity, as I stated before, can mean rebirth but it can also represent vulnerability. This literally bares out Mizrak in his entirety, unbound by his uniform, and by his ties to his religion. Vamprisim in a way has led him to accept his other parts of his identity (not fully though because this is Mizrak).

Going off into another media, but it reminds me of Louis from Interview With the Vampire (2022). He comes to terms with his queer identity through being turned into a vampire and if he never got turned, he probably would have died never accepting that part of himself. Honestly, I think that show is very good to overlap its theme with Mizrak and Olrox, and also in general a very visually/narratively-driven strong show, I would highly recommend it.

Okay, let's get back on topic!

They're posed specifically like that to make the silhouette distinctly clear of where they are, but Mizrak and Olrox's poses intrigue me. The way Mizrak's legs wrap around Olrox's thigh and how very intentionally his hand goes to the side of Olrox, especially since we have jumped from two shots of his dagger-like fangs and nails, which appears very violent, yet this is very intimate. Then we have Olrox, whose pose is also very open. It's accepting whatever onslaught hunger Mizrak has. This is strengthened by the contrasting vertical and horizontal lines in this shot as now Olrox is horizontal. He lasted about 5 seconds before being back on the bed.

Another thing is that compositionally, Mizrak is above Olrox and takes up a lot more visual space then him, which places him higher in the power dynamic. Mizrak has never been in that position until now. Olrox is much lower in the composition and most of it is covered up by Mizrak, being placed lower in the power dynamic, which is also a very new thing. This further pushes the new roles they have in this dynamic.

The sound effect for Mizrak landing on the bed isn’t as harsh or violent as I expected despite the appearance of the velocity he was going at in the previous shots. I'm going to take that as intentional because Mizrak looming over Olrox is a parallel to season 01 episode 03. While the sounds are not the same they're way similar. In turn, almost every single shot in this sequence can be tied back to a previous shot in season 01 I'm not kidding. This is why this works so well, everything is coming back.

All those visual parallels can be seen here on my Bluesky!

This one shot is both fucking absolutely terrifying but it also communicates "woah hot" which is great, we need more of that in media. Give me more horror mixed with sexuality in a vampiric context thank youuuu.

This shot moves from a midshot to a close up because Mizrak moves himself. The camera isn’t motivated to move, he is, exactly like Olrox's bite shot. We’re also placed in the position of Olrox. The shot just LINGERS on Mizrak just staring at the camera and it’s just slightly longer then the norm. To me, this reads as if Mizrak is literally eyeing up prey. Terrifying.

The presumption can be made that Mizrak, being newly turned (evidenced by the still-fresh bite marks) needs to feed. Much like how Tera needed to feed off Ezerbet. However, instead of forcing blood into his mouth much like how Ezerbet dribbled blood into Tera, Olrox just lets Mizrak come to him animalistically. This does not strike any fear into him, hell his expression is so muted. Though we never get any close-ups of Olrox's facial expression when Mizrak goes to look at him which is very intentional, we don't get to have a proper read of Olrox's expression and continues to steep this further into mystery, yearning for more information on this scene. This also just ends in another fade to black, Olrox bit Mizrak in the last sequence analyzed, now we can again presume Mizrak is biting him due to this.

This is our last shot of Olrox and Mizrak. It leaves us to question what happened and what will occur in the future. It doesn’t even give us any answers but it lays the foundation for theories and the potential for season 03.

Another thing to note is that Olrox, originally known as Count Olrox/Count Orlok in Castlevania : Symphony of the Night was based on Count Orlok from the gothic film Nosfertau (1992). There's a whole thing where Count Orlok's shadowy hand clasps over Ellen's heart/chest and she reacts quite 'suggestively' to it. This scene is used to comment on the societal taboo of sexuality and indulging in it. This basically kind of happens in this entire sequence, but instead, it's Mizrak's shadow looming over Olrox and it's Mizrak initiating the act. If you apply that lens here, you can engage with the scene as Mizrak letting himself come to terms with his sexuality, a thing he considers taboo and forbidden through vamprisim.

A section of Nosferatu I'm talking about can be viewed here.

And we're done! Apologies for skipped shots and if any of it got really clunky or had any odd grammar. I hope you enjoyed this informal essay discussing episode 08 and I hope you got something out of it! I'm stopping this now before this consumes my brain because I need to hop onto graded studies. This was a very fun study and I hope to do more in the future!

#mystery talks #castlevania nocturne #olrox #mizrak #olrox/mizrak #mizrox #long post #analysis #castlevania #this has been rotting in my mind for two months now and finally got time and the confidence to just write #i literally keep adding to this so I'm going to stop here before it gets longer #fingers crossed that my knowledge on this is percievable in my workkkk #iwtv mention #nosfertau mention

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