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kingdaddydaichi · 3 years

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NSFW Alphabet || Katsuki Bakugou

I had so much fun with this! Vodka may or may not have been involved in the making of this little ditty. 🍸 I hope you shameless hussies enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it. 😩

*Exhibit A:

(Source)

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

I feel like he gets clingy asf, but plays it off like it's something he's doing for your sake. He'll probably never admit that he feels so vulnerable after sex, but he does. If it was a rough session - which it usually is with him - he'll ask if you're okay, if you're hurt anywhere, kiss any marks he left on you - he's such a protective hero boi.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His: he's not gonna lie, he's fully aware of how well-endowed he is. He really is proud of his cock, the way it makes you sing when he works it - and he knows how to work it okay? Favorite non-sexual body part - his arms. He works hard to keep them cut (as in lifting, not cutting). 😬

Yours: listen, Katsuki is an ass man through and through. Go ahead and tell me I'm wrong, I'm 👏🏼 not 👏🏼 listening 👏🏼. He loves to watch the subtle ripples he sends through your ass cheeks when he's driving into you from behind. Also, our big scary boomboom man appreciates a nice, thicc pair of thighs. Bonus points if they're muscular/toned - he loves the way it feels when your thighs have such a strong grip around him.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Let's just say our boy's orgasms are explosive. He cums hard and loud, shooting long ropes of his hot seed. Consistency is about average, not too thick, not to thin, but there's a lot of it. He doesn't taste too bad - salty, but not too bitter. You're more likely to gag from the sheer volume and force of his cum hitting the back of your throat than the flavor.

His precum gets honorable mention here. It's fucking delicious. That is all.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

It took him no less than 2 years into your relationship to tell you this, and if you ever tell anyone he might actually kill you, or at the very least make your ass bleed. He hasn't gotten to the point that he's ready to try it yet, but he's not entirely opposed to the idea of you pegging him. Someday. It kinda does make his balls tingle a little just thinking about it tbh. He hasn't yet, but he thinks he might be ready to try working up to it and is really close to asking you to stick a finger in his ass and stroke his prostate. He's heard how good it feels and he's super curious to find out for himself.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Not very experienced, actually. He's only had 1 or 2 lovers before you, BUT he's determined to be #1 at everything. Couple that with how perceptive he is and you've got yourself a winner of a loverboy. He's going to make damn sure that, even if things don't work out between you two, he will always ALWAYS be the best you've ever had. No other man will outdo him, E-V-E-R.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Doggystyle all the way, baby. As stated before, he loves watching your booty jiggle every time he slams his hips against it. He gets off on spreading your ass cheeks to watch his slick-coated cock slide in and out of you. God he just loves hitting it from behind, makes his dick so fucking hard.

Bonus 2nd Favorite Position (couldn't help myself): you on your back with your ankles on his shoulders, your ass lifted off the bed, him on his knees and hugging those thick thighs of yours, keeping them closed as he reams into you. (Slight variation of this one: he leans over you, nearly folding you in half, putting you back on your shoulders with his hands pressing into the mattress beside you, angling you such that his prominent corona rubs over your g-spot as he drills down into you. 10/10 you're gonna scream his name when (not if) your liquid gushes all over him.)

Tell me the truth, am I a disgusting human being? Here are all the fucks I give:

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Bakugou is serious asf about his sex game. This is not the time to joke around or poke fun at him, understand me? If you do he will get pissed and either fuck the silly out of you, or if he's feeling particularly ruthless he'll just stop altogether and let you ache for him as punishment until you beg him for release.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He takes care of his body, paying a lot of attention to his hygiene, which includes manscaping to keep his pubic hair trimmed and kempt. The carpet's just a shade darker than the drapes, like a honey blond. If he lets it grow out, it sticks straight out just like his head hair. It's actually kind of funny and he hates it.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

*sigh* Let's be honest. Katsuki is not the super romantic type, at least not outwardly. However, if he realizes something he's doing is hurting you - physically or emotionally - he's going to stop dead in his tracks and hold you close, push his fingers through your hair, and tell you how much he loves you and how safe you are. He can be rough and he can be an asshole, but if he thinks he's genuinely hurt you at all, he's all over you, doing everything he can to make you understand that he will never let anyone hurt you, especially not himself. Got that?

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

He doesn't jack off very often. You two share a very active sex life so he doesn't see the need to. If you have to be apart for more than a day or two, he'll rub one out. Or if the need hits him particularly hard and you're not available or in the mood, he's not above closing his eyes and reaching into his pants to wrap his thick fingers around his cock and start tugging.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Lord Baby Jesus, where do I even begin? Kinky, kinky Katsuki. This man should come with warning signs and disclaimers.

First of all, he dom asf okay? Even if he lets you play with his ass someday, he's gonna be bratty about it. He's going to top from the bottom, hashtag facts. And trust that he WILL own you afterwards to securely reestablish his dominance.

Giving and Receiving: Hair pulling. DIRTY TALK - you think he's got a potty mouth in the streets? His mouth is downright filthy between the sheets. Loves it when you dirty talk right back to him. "You love taking my fat cock, don't you princess?" "Mm yessss, fuck me, Katsuki! Your cock feels so fucking good babyyy!" He eats that shit up.

Giving Only: Degradation. Praise. Spanking. Cockwarming. Dom/sub/power play. Shibari/ropework (he tried it bc you wanted to and he fucking loved it). Creampies. Begging. Discipline. Ravishment.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Literally anywhere inside your home/homes - bed, bathroom/kitchen countertops, kitchen/dining table, office desk/chair, any piece furniture is fair game really, up against a wall, washer/dryer, the fucking floor, ugh just all the places to fuck. Not one square foot is sacred tbh.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Wear something that showcases the curve of your butt. Doesn't have to be revealing per se, matter of fact he'll get possessive as fuck if you're showing too much skin in public. At home/privately though? He can't help himself. Dat ass tho...he is going to smack it hard enough that it stings and that's final, understand?

Tease him. You can't be obvious about it though. If he senses that you're doing it on purpose, it'll just backfire. But if you just so happen to brush against his crotch when you squeeze past him, it'll drive him crazy. Go commando in short shorts/skirt and cross your legs just so, his dick will twitch. Even better if you do shit like this in public where you know he won't act on it. But when you get home you best believe he's going to dick you down so hard, won't even bother to take said shorts or skirt off.

His ears and neck are his most sensitive erogenous zones. Whisper in his ear or kiss his neck and he's going to grit his teeth in an effort to fight back the shudder that threatens to rattle his bones.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Let's get one thing straight. Katsuki Bakugou does not share. This is non-negotiable. He will not agree to anything involving additional people - cuckolding, threesomes, orgies, exhibitionism, voyeurism (unless it's him watching you pleasure yourself - that he will gladly do, and probably start palming himself in the process).

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Loves giving and receiving. Giving puts him in full control of your pleasure, receiving makes him feel like you're worshipping his cock, which you probably are. Have you seen this man's cock? Of course you have. Gatdamn.

Y'all, Katsuki's so good at eating pussy. Like how does one get that good at eating pussy? I don't even know, but god the way he flicks his hot tongue over your precious, tiny bud before wearing it down like a fucking feed bag? It's unnatural. Like it could be his backup quirk if blowing shit up doesn't work out. You've seen the way he licks his lips when he gets excited, everyone has.* He doesn't even bother swallowing while he's feeding on you so you just be dripping in slick and saliva and he's just slurping away. It's lewd.

*See Exhibit A above.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

You already know this, but I'll say it anyway. His go-to fucking style is fast and rough, dominant and relentless, hard and dirty. But every once in a while he'll want to take you slow and deep and passionate. He'll hold you so tight in his arms and chest, you'll have to tap his shoulder sometimes to let you breathe. And he'll just roll his hips so fucking thoroughly both of you will feel every last inch, his pubic bone rubbing your clit so hard. You've told him so many times how much you love it when he makes love to you like this, but he maybe makes it a rare treat on purpose. 😈 Little shit.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Quickies are difficult for our boy. It's not that he's against them, it's just that he savors every drop of sensuality, he has a tendency to draw the pleasure out as long as possible. He can’t help it.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

The idea of having public sex turns him on, but he's only done it with you a couple of times when he was 10000% sure you wouldn't be caught. He can't risk doing anything that would tarnish his reputation and goal of becoming the #1 Hero. He might be freaky as hell, but he needs a sex scandal like an Alaskan needs a refrigerator.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

He loves you long time. He's a Taurus for fuck's sake (well, Aries/Taurus cuspie, but that just sweetens the deal). Great stamina. Grinds you down like a whetstone. Can last as long as he needs to to ensure you cum for him as many times as it takes for you to beg him to stop. If he feels himself getting too close while you're blowing him, he'll stop you and go down on you instead. If he's inside of you, he'll pull out and start kissing all over your body, sucking, nipping, licking until his urge to cum passes, then he pushes it right back in and keeps going.

If on the off-chance he does cum before you, he'll be ready to go again in about 20-30 mins. Just give him some motivation, he deserves it.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He didn't own any toys when you first got together, but you did. He hated the idea of you using them though, especially when he's right there with you. You've since assured him that you don't want to use them to replace him, but to enhance the pleasure. So now you do use them from time to time.

The first time you managed to coax him into using a toy together, it was a small wireless bullet with a remote. When you brought it out and showed it to him, there was a wild glint in his eye. He carefully inserted the vibrator into you, his cock slowly following suit. He loved the fact that he had complete control over this thing, but later complained because the sensation of it against the head of his cock made him cum too fast. He still wants to use it sometimes though. 😏

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Oh he can be so unfair. He loves teasing you until you're begging him to put his cock inside you. He's not so much into orgasm denial per se; he just loves to hear you beg him for shit - to let you cum, to suck his dick, to stop fucking you when you're overstimmed, etc.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Lol he's fucking LOUD! And he's going to make you cum so hard that you're screaming his fucking name. There was a time when one or both of you lived in an apartment and the neighbors would bang on the wall behind your headboard.

Shit, what sounds does he NOT make? He growls, moans, grunts, groans, yells, swears, fucks you so hard you can hear the wet sound of slapping skin, hell even the bed protests. Another reason he doesn't fuck in public - he can't stay quiet enough to be discreet about it.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Okay, as much of a wild sex beast as he is behind closed doors, he gets embarrassed so easily when your sex life is so much as hinted at around others. It's legit funny how flustered he gets about it.

If he goes into work real tired and Kirishima says, "Hey Bakubro, you look like shit this morning. You and (y/n) stay up too late?" while doing the finger in the hole gesture, Katsuki will just "Shut the fuck up, Shitty Hair, or I'll blast your ass right through that fucking wall!"

Or if you two go out together with friends and the girls are talking about sex-related stuff, Katsuki will just roll his eyes and try to ignore it. But if one of them is all "So, (y/n), does Bakugou ever like accidentally let off explosions while you're doing it?" and you wink and say, "Only when he's especially *cough* frustrated *cough*". Katsuki will go red from his neck up to his hairline and start stuttering, sparks flying from his palms. "H-hey, d-don't tell them sh-shit like that! I-it's none of their god-goddamn b-business, (y/n), what th-the f-fuck?!" Meanwhile, you and the girls are in stitches while he stomps away, just mortified, bless his heart. When you catch your breath from laughing you'll follow it up with, "Looks like tonight's gonna be one of those nights", and you all lose it again.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

As has been mentioned, Bakugou's well-endowed. I figure he's packing about 7.5-8" in length x just under 2" wide. He takes some getting used to, that's for damn sure. Oh, and he's more of a shower than a grower. Like around 6" long x 1.5" wide when flaccid. Katsuki + sweatpants/basketball shorts = swinging dick print, alright sis? Take notes, this motherfucker visibly jumps when he does, class dismissed.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Eh, he's surprisingly not ridiculously horny. Maybe a little above average sex drive? A lot of times hero work just takes it out of him and he comes home utterly exhausted and just needs a soft place to land, and you provide him with all the love and nurturing in your heart. ❤

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Depends, really, on the time of day and what type of day it's been. If it's late (like past 9pm lol) and he fought more villains than usual that day, he's probs gonna pass out pretty soon after. If it's earlier in the day - especially first thing in the morning - it gets him pumped and almost comically genki.

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tommybaholland · 4 years

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bnha boys as viral tiktok sounds + their reaction

featuring: bakugo, kirishima, kaminari, amajiki and dabi

bakugo swearing, mentions of titties, dabi gets suggestive. you know, the usual. enjoy!

bakugo

physical embodiment of ‘how big are those titties bitch?! hurry up, i’m getting weird stares!’

you have him listen to the sound and you’re like ‘this u?’

“WHAT?? i sound nothing like THAT, you IDIOT”

“and DONT ask me to make one of those stupid videos”

and of course you ask him and at first he’s pretty resistant to the idea

but he could never resist for long

“OKAY FINE, IDIOT. just tell me what to do.”

you tell him what he should do and start the video

you make him hold up a tape measure and everything like you had seen in other videos

he seems to get into it and playfully shakes you by the shoulders while yelling the last line, making you laugh

“there. now stop bothering me and you better NOT post that anywhere.”

“thank you, katsuki,” pressing a kiss to his cheek, making him go red

“yeah, whatever.”

you’re already thinking about how you can convince him to let you post it >:))

he finally lets you post it but only lets you keep public for one (1) day

but thats long enough to get everyone’s attention

kirishima actually notifies him of the popularity and even turns baku’s attention to the comments

“dude, everyone thinks you’re so cool! and even some people are...well..”

amongst the simp comments, he becomes livid over the one that are like, “so...how big are their titties??👀”

and it doesn’t bother you because people will just say whatever they want on the internet

but he feels like he at least needs to reaffirm something

“i dont care how big your... titties are. they’re big enough and i love you just the way you are.”

then he grabs you and pulls you closer to him and starts attacking your neck with kisses

“now put that shit on private or i will reign hellFIRE on all those IDIOTS”

kirishima

definitely that one that goes ‘*sigh* i love you *kiss kiss kiss kiss* you set my soul on fire’

he’s familiar and comfortable with tiktok so you decide to surprise him with the sound that makes you think of him

“what do you want me to do, pebble?” he asks curiously, holding you in his lap as you set up your phone

“nothing. just be your cute and manly self. ready?”

you start the video and look him right in the eyes as you sigh and say, “i love you” before leaning in to make him think your lips are gonna touch his

but then you quickly change direction and press multiple kisses to his cheek on the kissing part, making him giggle loudly and hug you close to him

you look back into his bright eyes while speaking the last line and he sees an opportunity to caress your cheeks to pull you in for a passionate kiss at the last second

and the camera catches ALL of it

he thinks it’s super cute and encourages you post it

you’re not one to flaunt your relationship on social media but you do it thinking it’s not going to get much attention anyway

but it blows tF UP

it gets to almost 1M views and 400k likes in just two days

even though you made the tiktok, all the comments are about your boyfriends cute ass reaction like “oh to be them 😔�� “the WAY that he looked at them and kissed them like😭” “if my boyfriend doesn’t do this then i don’t want him”

you show him how much attention he’s getting like, “wow kiri, they love you!”

and he gets all modest like, “i think they love you too because you’re my cute little pebble! now give your boulder a kiss..”

is totally down to make more tiktoks with you anytime <3

kaminari

this is not denki slander but

‘you don’t have a thought behind those eyes, do you? sweet boy’

he’s actually the one that brings it up and shows you immediately when he hears the sound

he’ll be like, “is this what you think of me?”

and he’s joking but you know he can be self-deprecating sometimes

“of course not, babe...well, sometimes. only when you’ve short circuited.”

he appreciates your honesty but still looks kinda sad about it

you get closer, and caress the sides of his head to make him look at you

“you are a sweet boy, though. you’re my sweet boy.” and then you make him giggle by giving him eskimo kisses

he wants you to film a video with the sound while his brain is fried

at first you’re like, “are you sure?”

and he says he wants to keep it to remind him how great you are when you’re not around

he’s too cute so you agree

he makes himself short circuit pretty easily and without using his quirk by reading one of momo’s books with a lot of large, confusing words in it

you start the video and look him in the eyes to say the first part while holding his face

on the ‘sweet boy’ part you pull him to rest his head on your shoulder while your stroke his hair carefully

after you stop the video and he calms down he watches it and thinks it’s cute that you continue to hold him even though he emits small waves of electricity that can shock you

“you’re the best s/o, you know that? i love you so much, my wonderful buzzy babe.” and he hugs you real tight

you offer to let him post it if he wants

“no way, this is too special to share with anyone else.”

he is such a sweet boy >.<

amajiki

thought about this one long and hard bc there’s honestly nothing cuter than this shy boi

but ultimately

‘you’re my honey bunch sugar plum pumpy-umpy-umpkin you’re my sweetie pie’

he doesn’t understand why you associate him with it when you show him

“because you’re so cute and precious, especially when you get all nervous and shy”

he disagrees, “no, bunny, i think you’re the cute and precious one here.”

easily starts a ‘no you’re cuter’ war between you two

but then he suddenly gets really nervous

“you’re, you’re uh, not gonna post a video about me, are you?”

you’re like, ‘of course not’ but that doesn’t stop you from singing the song to him everytime hes being a cutie

which is like, everyday

and he thinks it’s equally embarrassing

“bunny, please. i, i know you love that song, but i want to be cool.”

he just doesn’t get it

“but you’re both cool and cute, tamaki. the duality of you is one of the many reasons why i love you so much. i may be cute but i could never be as cool as you.”

he’s so red in the face but he has to take the chance to kiss you with everything he has

because if he can’t say it at first, he just feels it and does it

“i love you so much, too, bunny. and you’re cute and so many other w-wonderful things. please never forget that.”

in conclusion *exhales* i love tamaki amajiki

dabi

two words: simp scream

you know what i’m talking about

that’s the only sound i think about when i see this man

it’s either this or the one that’s like ‘sometimes bad things happen to people with nice tits’

but anyway so...simp scream

one time you decided to make a tiktok with that sound while you two were getting ready for bed

you’re just lying there, all innocent, and start filming right before he pulls his shirt off

he turns over to you with your phone propped up on your stomach

smirks once he realizes you’re filming and walks over to you as the ‘WOW w o w’ part plays

you’re able to catch all of it before he gets on top of you, hovering above with a devilish smirk still present on his marred face

your phone falls against your stomach when he pins your hands down to the mattress

“what do you think you’re doing, hm princess?”

and before you answer he’s already leaning down to kiss and nip at your neck

you giggle as you reply, “nothing...just admiring my favorite burnt boy”

“well,” he lifts his head back up but remains close to your face, speaking seductively

“if you wanted to make a video with me, babydoll,” he kisses your lips slowly

“all you had to do was ask...”

[the rest of this headcanon was redacted bc mans too hot]

how we feeling on this lovely bnha night?? send all your desires and requests..

#mha x reader #bnha x reader #bakugo x reader #bakugo headcanon #kirishima x reader #kirishima headcanon #kaminari x reader #kaminari headcanon #amajiki x reader #amajiki headcanon #amajiki fluff #kaminari fluff #kirishima fluff #bakugo fluff #dabi x reader #dabi headcanon #tommybaholland

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witcher-and-his-bard-archive · 4 years

Note

Geralt in 21 with partner of your choice for the lingerie prompts!!

I hope we’re feeling Geralt X Eskel tonight bc I wanted to write Eskel v badly.

"Maybe it's a bad idea," Geralt mumbles, twisting to look at his ass in the mirror. Objectively, he looks good, but fear and self-doubt creep into his mind anyway. Outside the bedroom door, Eskel sighs.

"Can I just see it so I can give you an honest opinion? Not one tainted by your horrific self-loathing."

Geralt takes another look at himself, resists the urge to sigh, and steps away from the mirror. If it was anyone else but Eskel, he'd lock the door and undress before going back out, but he trusts Eskel. And tonight, he's hoping Eskel is a better judge than he. He takes a deep breath as he steps out into the living room and as soon as Eskel's eyes are on him, he deflates. He feels stupid.

"I'm just gonna change," he mumbles, but Eskel reaches out to stop him.

"Don't. He'll love it."

"Are you sure?"

Eskel nods slowly, a faint smile pulling at his lips. "You look… incredible. Only an idiot wouldn't love you in this."

Geralt doesn't believe him, but he trusts Eskel's judgement. He slips back into his room, closing the door behind him (although there's not much left that Eskel hasn't seen tonight) and turns to his closet to pick out what to wear.

Lingerie aside, he's looking forward to tonight. Vernon is… something. But it's not like Geralt is going to marry him or anything. He wants to fuck him, though and tonight is the fourth time they've been out, so he's optimistic - hence the wardrobe choice.

He leaves the house just after five with enough time to get to the restaurant before their 5:30 reservation.

By six, he's sat in the underground parking with his head on the steering wheel.

He feels like an idiot to have assumed this was going anywhere. And yeah, maybe he wasn't as into the guy as he should have been, but being turned down outright still fucking sucks. And to make matters worse, all he can feel is the press of the straps digging into his skin. It's irritating, maddeningly so, and only serves to remind him of how fucking stupid he was to think someone might want him. But he can't go upstairs because Eskel will be there and he'll ask why he's home so early and Geralt will have to tell him. And the only thing worse than being stood up and having to come home and take off the lingerie he bought specifically for tonight (an already embarrassing experience) is having to admit to your best friend that it happened.

Geralt groans and squeezes his eyes shut, banging his head against the steering wheel. If he just stays down here long enough, Eskel will never know. He'll think he went out and had a great time and came home. It's what he usually does. But factoring time for dinner, sex, and potential conversation afterwards? He'll be stuck down here for hours. Which is not at all how he intended to spend his night.

He picks his phone up off the passenger seat and makes to get out of the car, but there's one unread message that catches his eye and he opens it quickly, hoping it's Roche. It's Eskel, because of course, it is, hoping that his night goes well. Geralt just groans at the screen before locking it and shoving his phone in his pocket where it can't taunt him.

When he gets up to their shared apartment, he waits again before letting himself in. Only for a few minutes, only to try and hear if Eskel is in the living room. But there's no sound coming from within, so he pushes the door open and sneaks to his bedroom. But as the door is clicking shut, Eskel calls out.

"Geralt?"

Fuck.

"Geralt, is that you? What are you doing home?"

"Uh- change of plans," he mumbles. He wants to make up an excuse, to say he's not feeling well or something came up, but he can't form the words. Instead, he flops onto his bed and stares up at the ceiling, which is where Eskel finds him a moment later.

"What happened?" he asks gently. Geralt shrugs and sighs.

"Don't know." He does know. It's the same thing that happens every time, but he knows Eskel doesn't like when he talks badly about himself, so Geralt keeps quiet. "Just didn't show."

His skin prickles and he shuts his eyes. Just for once, he'd like to be good enough for someone. For someone to want to be with him. He's always the one setting the dates or reaching out to start with and he doesn't know why he bothers because it never goes well for him. The best he gets is Eskel's sympathy and a bottle of gin to come home to.

"Asshole," Eskel mutters, "doesn't deserve you anyway. You can do better." Geralt scoffs, but Eskel persists and eventually, Geralt just tunes it out because one day Eskel will realize that he is inherently unlovable, that he's not worth the time to text and say hey I'm not showing up tonight.

"Thanks," he mumbles, but it's false.

"You wanna watch tv and drink vodka?"

For the first time in hours, Geralt smiles.

"You know I do."

Watching tv and drinking vodka turns into watching Jeopardy and drinking if you get the answer wrong. And the longer it goes on, the fewer answers either of them gets right. It's not until late that Geralt realizes he never got changed when he came home. He peels off his shirt, having spilled his drink on it, and the black straps are there, crisscrossing across his chest and reminding him he's an idiot. Which is a shame really because the piece itself is nice and now he'll never get a chance to enjoy it properly.

"S nice," Eskel mumbles next to him. Geralt looks up to see what he's talking about and finds Eskel looking back at him. "Vernon's a fuckin' idiot turning you down in that." Geralt huffs a humourless laugh.

"You're drunk," he shrugs, "and you're s'posed to say shit like that when I'm having a bad day."

"True though. Wish you didn't think so badly of yourself all the time. You're hot, Geralt, simple as that. You're the only one who doesn't see it." Geralt pauses for a second, decides he's misheard, and shrugs it off. He picks the bottle up off the table, takes a large drink, and passes it to Eskel who sighs, but takes it anyway.

But over the next half hour, he catches Eskel looking at him. And not just glancing over at him, but really looking at him in a way that makes the skin on the back of his neck prickle.

"What?" he asks finally, his anxiety getting the better of him. "What's wrong?"

"Just thought you'd have taken it off by now, thought you'd wanna be comfortable."

"It is?" Geralt says simply and Eskel purses his lips and nods.

"Can I touch it?" Eskel looks up at him earnestly and Geralt would be an idiot to say no to him now. He nods slowly and Eskel reaches out, tracing the lines of the leather. His fingers slip, brushing against his skin, Geralt pretends not to notice.

He shifts to get more comfortable, turning to face Eskel and leaning into the couch cushions. And Eskel grows bolder, slipping his fingers into the rings joining the straps and tugging gently, letting the leather lift from his skin before releasing it. Geralt shudders the first time he does it and that only seems to encourage Eskel.

One warm hand presses against his chest, slipping down to the button on his jeans. Eskel turns it between his fingers for a moment before looking up at him.

"Should take these off," he hums, "let me see the rest."

"You saw the rest earlier."

"Not like this."

To Geralt's drunk mind, it seems like sensible reasoning, so he quickly unbuttons his jeans and pushes them to the floor. He feels suddenly exposed in only leather straps and a lacy thong, but Eskel is transfixed. He runs a hand up Geralt's thigh and Geralt shudders under the warmth of it. The room is cold, his skin breaking out in goosebumps now that he's mostly bare, but Eskel's palm is warm where it slides against his skin and Geralt closes his eyes at the feeling.

He stops where the leather digs into Geralt's thighs, pressing his thumb beneath it and following the line along. Geralt is only partially aware of the way his pulse spikes, the way his skin prickles under Eskel's touch, but he knows that he likes it, so he doesn't tell him to stop.

"Geralt." Geralt opens his eyes and looks up to find Eskel looking back at him, his expression soft. "Can I kiss you?"

Geralt's mind whirls to try and catch up with what it's evidently missed. He doesn't even realize he's nodding, and then Eskel's mouth is on his own, soft and warm, and he can't think about anything else. His fingers slip instinctively into Eskel's hair and Geralt finds himself laid back against the arm of the couch as Eskel fits himself between his thighs.

He's wearing sweatpants and the softness of the fabric feels amazing in contrast to the leather wrapped around his thighs. Geralt nearly groans when Eskel shifts forward, but then his attention is refocused to where Eskel's hand settles on his pec, fingers slipping under the leather straps. Eskel breaks the kiss just long enough to mumble fuck, before pressing into his neck and kissing under his jaw.

"D'you have any fucking idea how you look in this?" he mumbles, "christ Geralt, you're stupid beautiful." Geralt starts at that. No one has ever called him beautiful before. On occasion, he's been called hot, but he knows it's just his body they're interested in. When Eskel calls him beautiful, it feels like something more.

"You're drunk," he accuses and Eskel laughs against his skin.

"But so are you. Drunk and beautiful." Eskel shifts down the couch, pressing soft kisses down Geralt's chest until he reaches his nipples. "Fuck. You just put 'em on display like this?" he groans, "what's a man supposed to do with himself, Geralt?"

Geralt squirms under the praise, but he shuts his eyes, focusing instead of the brush of Eskel's lips, the warm wetness where his tongue peeks out from between his lips. He'd be lying if he said he'd never thought about Eskel this way, but Eskel was always just one more in a long line of people who would rather just be friends. So Geralt doesn't think about it. Much. On occasion, he'll imagine what might have been if they'd met at a different time, or on nights when nothing else is going right, he'll picture him above him as he jerks off, inevitably falling asleep guilty and ashamed.

But he never expected anything like this.

Eskel sucks a nipple between his lips, flicking his tongue at the numb and Geralt lets out a shaky moan, shifting his hips beneath him. The sensation goes straight to his cock and he realizes belatedly that he's half hard. It's not until Eskel readjusts himself that Geralt realizes he's also only wearing a tiny, lacy thong and that it was barely covering him to begin with.

His worries go unnoticed by Eskel who is now sitting sideways, one arm under Geralt's back and the other slipping slowly down his chest, catching on each of the straps as it goes. He stops abruptly and Geralt hears a little hum before Eskel's leaning back up to him, nosing under his jaw.

"You're already so hard," he groans, "can I touch you?"

"Please," Geralt whispers.

There's no hesitation as Eskel's palm cups his cock, first over the lace, then quickly pushing beneath it to wrap a hand around him. He strokes him slowly, working him up to full hardness in no time at all and then he's ducking down and wrapping his lips around the head of his cock. Geralt whispers and bucks and when he looks down, the hand that was on his cock is now shoved down Eskel's sweatpants.

"Let me see," he breathes and Eskel shoves the pants down without so much as wavering in his ministrations.

Once he catches sight of Eskel's cock, he can't look away. He watches the way it slips between his fingers with fascination, imagining his own hand around him, his mouth around him.

"Fuck me," he says and Eskel pulls off his cock to stare at him.

"You want me?"

Geralt nods and leans in to kiss him again, sighing softly against Eskel's lips before pulling away. "Yes. Always, please."

Eskel doesn't hesitate, wrapping his arms around Geralt's waist and kissing him soundly as he pulls him up into his lap. When he shifts his hips, Geralt can feel the thick length of Eskel's erection through the lace and it only makes him want him more. He nips at his lips, kisses him hard and Eskel laughs softly against his mouth.

"Fuck, you're really somethin' aren't you."

"Lube," Geralt grumbles. He shifts to move, but Eskel stops him. When Geralt looks up, he looks embarrassed then he shoves a hand down the side of the couch and Geralt realizes why.

For whatever reason, there's a bottle of lube stashed between the cushions and he offers Eskel a questioning look.

"Full disclosure?" Eskel shrugs, "I couldn't get the thought of you all wrapped up in that out of my head. I was gonna jerk off while you were gone to try and get it out of my system but then you came home."

"Mm," Geralt hums, "good thing I did."

He kisses him again, slow and deep, taking the bottle from Eskel's hands and flicking it open. He pours probably more than he needs to into Eskel's hand then drops the bottle again, uncaring as Eskel's fingers press back between his cheeks. Eskel makes no attempt to remove the thong, just slips his fingers beneath it and presses against him.

Eskel makes quick work of opening him up, fucking into him with thick fingers and kissing the moans from Geralt's lips. When he fucks him, it's quick and hard and neither of them is sober enough to have much finesse, but it's good. It's the first time in maybe years that Geralt remembers genuinely enjoying himself during sex and when they're finished, he collapses against Eskel's chest and just stays there.

Warm arms wrap around him and Eskel kisses his shoulders and slowly, they both drift off to sleep.

In the morning, Geralt wakes up alone with a pounding headache and something digging into his skin. As he looks down at himself, at the straps barely covering his skin, everything rushes back to him and he feels sick. Fuck.

He shouldn't have given in, should have said no to Eskel's advances. But he was in a bad place and he wanted. He still wants him, but evidently, Eskel was just horny and drunk. Mark him down as another who doesn't want to stay. Geralt wants to go back to bed, to call Yen and ask her to drag him out to do anything but stay at home in the apartment, but he supposes this is something that should be dealt with sooner rather than later.

He barely makes it to his feet before Eskel comes downstairs. He's dressed in only his sweatpants, hung low on his hips, and Geralt groans internally.

"I'm sorry," he blurts and at the exact same time, Eskel says "I've got the bath running." To which, Geralt doesn't have a response.

"You first," Eskel says tentatively. Geralt sighs.

"I'm sorry about last night, I shouldn't have-" he cuts himself off, failing to put his thoughts into words.

"Oh. Right. Yeah. It's just… I've been up for half an hour making breakfast and running a bath and I didn't account for regretting what happened last night." Eskel smiles up at him and Geralt's shoulders slump. Sometimes he hates how well Eskel knows him, but this morning he's glad for it.

Eskel steps up close, reaching around to undo the clasps at the back of Geralt's neck and gently tugging the lingerie down until it falls in a pile on the floor. The thong goes next and Geralt doesn't say a word as Eskel's hands settle on his hips.

"Bath, breakfast, and then we're going to sit down and talk about this," he breathes, "but don't think for a second that I'm gonna let you worry yourself out of this. Last night was good. You were- you are beautiful. Go upstairs and I'll be up in a minute if you want?"

Geralt isn't sure exactly how Eskel thinks he's going to fit the both of them into their bathtub, but he isn't going to let that stop him from trying.

"Okay," he whispers. Eskel smiles and tips forward, stopping at the last moment, but Geralt leans in to close the space, kissing him softly. He loses himself for a moment in the slide of Eskel's lips against his own and he doesn't realize he's being pulled forward until he shifts his hips and presses against Eskel's cock, hard in his sweats.

"Bath, breakfast, talk," Eskel repeats, breathless, "after that I'd like to keep you in my bed for a week."

As far as ideas go, Geralt thinks it's a damn good one.

lingerie prompts~

#sorry about... all of this #geralt x eskel #v spicy #rex writes #modern au #multiplelizards

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pinoyrella · 4 years

Text

Haikyuu Boys Throwing a Rock At Your Window

Like you know that “trying to get the attention of someone” cliche mostly from those cheesy American rom-com films? Yeah THAT throwing rocks at your window

FT: Bokuto Koutaro, Ushijima Wakastoshi, and our one and only Miya Atsumu x GN!READER

GENRE: Mostly CRACK, Fluff (mostly Ushijima’s).

Word Count- Total: 4,900 +

Ushijima’s: 1,502.

Bokuto’s: 1,166.

Atsumu’s + Bonus: 2,297

TW: A lot of cursing, esp w Atsumu’s. there are a few slight NSFW jokes (im sorry im like this)

Quick PSA: (before we begin!!)

1. I just wanna thank my bb @babydontstoop for staying up w me until 3 am in the morning thinking of this stupid shit, love her so much we got more ideas coming soon!!

2. Also im so sorry the first half of atsumu’s is basically just inarizaki shenanigans, i don’t know why its there or how it even got to that, but imma just keep it there for the sake that maybe some of you guys might enjoy it and i spent so much time on it asdghkd ToT. i added a little “start” if you want to skip the the x reader content tho!! I hope you guys enjoy my first work!! MWAH ILY!! Thank you so much again!!

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Ushijima Wakatoshi

I feel like our ushi gushy would be in on it

But only bc Tendou influenced him telling him it's what ppl do nowadays

“Wakatoshi-Kun ur not throwing hard enough I don’t think she heard it”

And he would just look at him n be like “ok”

THEN THROWS IT W THE SAME STRENGTH HE USES TO SPIKE

AFSDGHJK RIP Y/N

It definitely did not only smashed thru ur window, it winds up denting ur wall

“Wakatoshi-kun~” Tendou’s cheerful voice pops into Ushijima’s dorm. “It’s time to give me back this week’s “Jump”! I brought a new one, it’s a bit different from what I’ve been giving you to read!”

“I’ve just finished reading “Removes Unnecessary Hair and Leaves Skin Feeling Silky Smooth” Ushijima replies monotonously with said manga in his grasp.

“You’re still reading the adverts? I told you last time to just focus on the manga.” Tendo takes the shounen manga from Ushijima’s hands and closes it. “This one is sure to keep you focused on the story this time! Plus, it may help you with your lack of romance situation.” He says as he plops a copy of a popular shoujo manga in his friend’s palms. “Anyways, I got to go, tell me your impressions later~” Tendo strolls out, letting the door to Ushijima’s dorm shut on its own.

Ushijima watches the door shut, before turning his attention back to the manga his best friend spontaneously left in his hand. ‘Lack of romance?’

The following day strolls around and Tendo is first to greet his friend. “Wakatoshi-kun~” Ushijima turns and greets him back with a low “good morning” before continuing his pace to class.

“So, tell me what did you think of the manga I gave you the other day?” The red haired man says, stretching his arms over his head, giving the stoic man a quirky smile as he makes his way to his seat. Ushijima opens his leather bag to take out the shoujo manga Tendo gave him the other day, handing it to his friend before replying. “It was pleasant.”

Tendo blinks before letting out a restless sigh, taking the pink-covered manga from his friend’s hand before plopping into his seat, head down to the desk. “ “It was pleasant?” What are we going to do with you Wakatoshi-kun, and to think I had hope when you told me you were finally going to confess to y/n.”

Ushijima stays silent, watching his friend.

Tendo looks up, a hand under his chin, before turning back to his buddy. “Have you thought of how you were going to confess yet?”

Ushijima lets out a low “no” before Tendo goes back to losing it over his friend. “That’s what the manga was for! I thought it’d help you come up with an idea…”

Ushijima stays silent, watching his friend break down once again. Before turning his gaze to the door, as you stroll in greeting your classmates a “good morning” before settling down at your desk. Of course you don’t go unnoticed to Tendo as well, he caught his friend turning his head towards your direction the moment you walked in. You give a small smile and wave to both Tendo and Ushijima, Ushijima giving back an awkward yet sincere small smile and wave. The sweet look of innocence and love linger on his best friend’s face, even after he turned around to face the board’s direction. Tendo can’t leave his friend unhelped, especially not with that god-awkward smile he gave you. Then pwoosh an idea strucks him.

“Wakatoshi-kun” Tendo whispers, catching the attention of his friend, before leaning into his ear.

“Tendo.” “Wakatoshi-kun!” Tendo sprints lightly towards his friend, both freshly changed into their casuals, after the day’s worth of volleyball practice. It’s barely half past 6:30pm, the two tall men stand outside your dorm’s building. “Follow me~” Tendo begins to walk off around the corner, stopping just a few windows down, then looking up, pointing towards a window that is slightly covered by (insert ur fav color) curtains, and a few stickers stuck to the glass of the window. The lights were on, letting them know you were in your dorm. Ushijima visibly tenses up after reaching where his friend stood. “Don’t worry, this is their room, I know those animal crossing stickers from anywhere.” Tendo reassures his friend. Ushijima slowly relaxes before bending down to pick up a rock. “Is this okay?” he asks his friend, just remembering the short flashback of what his friend whispered into his ear earlier that day.

“Wakatoshi-kun~” Tendo calls out to his friend, then leaning in towards his ear. “I have an idea! Semi was telling me about this scene from a romance movie he saw last week. It’s what all the cool kids do in America to get the attention of the person they like!” Explaining the details to his friend, before the bell rang signifying that class has just begun.

“Yes! That rock looks perfect, now aim for their window!” His friend lets out a clap before shooting his fingers towards your window.

Ushijima adjusts his stance, getting ready to toss the rock towards your window. Tendo watches in anticipation, as Ushijima finally lets go of the rock after sending it flying up. The rock lightly taps your window, the two wait restlessly, feeling as 5 minutes have passed, but really was 30 seconds.

Tendo picks up the same rock from the ground and places it in Ushijima’s left hand. “Wakatoshi-kun, you’re not throwing hard enough! I don’t think they didn’t hear it.” The tall man nods as began to adjust himself once more, putting all his energy into the rock in his left hand, determined to grab your attention. but just as he lets go of the rock, the window opens, and reveals you standing there, looking down at the two boys confused. Tendo and Ushijima’s eyes widened at the sight of you, but it was too late, the rock was already tobe flying towards you. “Tendo-san? Ushi-” before you finish your sentence, you finally notice the rock launching in your direction, thanking your quick reflexes, you dodge it just barely. You turn and watch in slow-mo as the rock hits your closet door, leaving a deep dent and a scratch.

Stunned, you stare at the dent before walking over to pick the rock up, and heading back towards your window. “Really?” You say out loud in a jokingly sarcastic tone, holding the rock up for the two boys to see, while trying your best not to laugh at the series of events before you. You know this situation oh too well, especially from a certain scene after binge watching rom-coms with your cousin Semi the other week.

The two men just stare at you, with nothing to say, before Tendo lets out a burst of laughter. You gave in as well and began laughing with him. Ushijima lets out a low laugh.

“Stay there!” You yell down, before closing your window and making your way downstairs to meet the boys.

“Anyways, I got to go! Tell me her impressions later~” Tendo gives Ushijima a pat on the back before sprinting away from this whole situation.

Ushijima stays there, awaiting your arrival. He turns after hearing heavy pants, seeing you bent forward slightly, facing him with a hand on your knee, and the other still holding onto the rock he had unintentionally launched at you. “Jesus.. Sorry give me a second” Ushijima nods, staring at your figure. Although hair disheveled, out of breath and face as red as a tomato from having to run down a flight of stairs and around the corner to meet him, he still thinks you’re the most beautiful person he has ever laid eyes on. After a few seconds, you prop yourself up, eyes staring into his. Now it was Ushijima’s turn to turn bright red, in fact, realization hit him, it was just the two of you alone, behind a building, “oh how scandalise Wakatoshi-kun.” he can imagine Tendo saying that to him.

You two just stand there for a second, staring into each other’s eyes before you began. “I think you dropped this.” You tell him with a slight giggle. Ushijima lets out a small laugh with you, as he grabs the rock in your palm, your hands brushing against each other, making the stoic man turn redder. “Thank you.” he says softly. “Next time, just come to me, this is a little too cliche for the big old Ushijima Wakatoshi, no?” Crossing your arms, you gave him another smile. GOD was he captivated. If he didn’t have any restrain, he would have leaned down and kissed you then and there. His grasp on the rock tightens slightly, thoughts running before a small peck is felt onto his cheek. He snaps out of his imagination before noticing how close your face was to his. “But that was still, a very cute and very dangerous attempt.” You chuckle once again before stepping back.

“See you tomorrow in class Ushijima-san” You wink before turning back to your dorm.

Ushijima stands there bewildered. A hand going to the cheek you have left an imprint of your lips on. He has his best friend Tendo to thank later. If these silly cliches will lead to your sweet smile and a peck on the cheek, he can’t wait to continue the sweet gestures your future relationship has yet to come.

Bokuto Koutaro

My sweet sweet baby boy

He does NOT know his own strength

He uses a big rock too

You hear a panicked “AKAAAASHI!!!”

Apparently Akaashi tried to stop him after Bo told him of his scheme, but failed to, so instead of letting him go alone, he went w him to make sure Bokuto wouldn’t get himself into TOO much trouble. U kno supervisor n shit

“Akaashi!!!” Bokuto greets his underclassman, sliding into the seat beside him as the quiet man takes out his lunch, slowly unwrapping it. “Good afternoon Bokuto-san.”

“Akaashi! You know y/n right?! And you know how long I’ve liked them, and wanted to confess my feelings right?” Bokuto asks excitedly. “How can I forget, they’re in my class, in fact-” Akaashi leans a bit to the left, pointing his thumb backwards to his shoulder, showing you perched on your desk with your headphones in, eyes closed as you had just taken a savory bite from the meal you had prepared for yourself at home before class. Bokuto short circuits before he lets out a cry of despair, his head falling to the desk, before picking himself back up and shoving his face close to Akaashi’s. “Why didn’t you tell me!! Did you think they heard what I said? Akaashi I can’t believe you! You should warn me about this!!” He whispers before moving his eyes back to you, watching you serenely chew the food in your mouth, everything you do leaves him absolutely speechless, oh god how he wished he was the food in your mouth.

Before Akaashi could reply to ask his friend to move farther away, your eyes open and immediately dart towards the unfamiliar classmate in your classroom.

“Bo!” You immediately stand up, grabbing your lunch before making your way to sit behind him and Akaashi. “Try this! I made it this morning, it’s still fresh, say AH~” You hold your chopsticks towards his face, waiting for him to take a bite. It’s like the embarrassment and worry of you hearing him liking you left his head, he smiles at you before taking a bite of what is on the chopstick. He begins chewing, tasting the savory flavor of your dish, wishing he could wake up everyday to your cooking. “Y/n this is delicious!!!” He replies ecstatically. You giggle in response, using the chopsticks in your hand to pick off the rice stuck to his bottom lip, before dropping it back into your lunchbox, Bokuto unintentionally lets out a “NO!” as he lightly grabs your wrist, placing the chopstick back into his mouth to catch the rice. “Don’t waste it, it’s so good!” He pouts and you try to hold yourself from laughing at how adorable he is. “Bokuto-san, it was just a grain of rice.” “Akaashi! Don’t say that about y/n’s cooking!” He retorts. You let out another chuckle before digging into the bottom compartment of the lunch box, to grab another pair of chopsticks. “Let’s share yeah?” At this point, Bokuto remembers why he fell for you all over again.

“I have to use the restroom before lunch ends! Akaashi watch my stuff?” You ask the quiet boy, “Of course” “Thanks!!!” You say before sprinting off. “Bokuto-san” Akaashi attempts to call out to Bokuto, but he’s still in a trance as he watched your figure disappear out of the classroom and into the hallway. “Bokuto-san” Bokuto whips his head towards his friend smiling brightly. “Did you want to tell me something earlier about y/n?” He asks him. “YES! I have figured out the perfect plan to confess to them!” Akaashi sits, his face contorts into curiosity, listening to what his friend has in mind.

“Bokuto-san”

“And I’m thinking, I’d wait outside her window and-”

“Bokuto-san”

“I have this rock in my hand right?! I’ll figure the right time to throw and-”

“BOKUTO-SAN”

“AKAAAAASHI!! What is it? Did you get lost in my amazing plan?”

“Bokuto-san, this doesn’t..” He pauses for a second, trying to find a way to slowly put down his friend’s idea, after hearing how excited he sounds for it too. “I don’t think- why don’t you just tell them? Write them a letter... Or buy a bouquet of flowers or chocolate, something that isn’t.. Illegal..” He whispers the last word, it trails his mouth.

“Akaashi you don’t understand! Y/n’s different! They deserve a unique confession! They don’t deserve a regular and common confession, they deserve something grand! Something like my idea!” Bokuto replies happily.

Akaashi lets out a sigh. ‘Well at least I tried…

Wrong.’

And this is where Akaashi found himself on a Friday night, standing beside Bokuto in front of your residence. He had thought, if he couldn’t stop his best friend, why not at least supervise him, at least he could try to physically stop him if things get out of hand, right?

Wrong.

“Oi” Akaashi hears a familiar voice and turns his head towards the direction. ‘Konoha-san?!” Akaashi’s thoughts were interrupted by Bokuto greeting his other friend. “Konoha! You’re just in time, come on let’s go!” Bokuto lets himself past your gate. “What-” “Bokuto told me about his plan, I had to see it.” Konoha lets out a smirk before pushing Akaashi past the gates with him.

The three make their way to the side of the house, finding the window to your room before stopping. Konoha tries to suppress his laughter, and Akaashi stands there bewildered. ‘Holy shit Bokuto-san’s actually going to do it.’ He freaks out internally.

Bokuto dips his head to the floor, picking up the biggest rock he could find before turning to face his two friends. “Now, this is true romance!” He says excitedly, switching the rock to his dominant hand, and getting ready to launch, the veins in his arm protruding.

Konoha is trying, AND I MEAN TRYING, his best to not laugh too soon, a hand over his mouth and the other hand on Akaashi’s shoulder to ground himself. Akaashi’s brain realizes the situation, the veins popping from Bokuto’s arm, his beefy muscles flexing, his strength- and before he could- “Bokuto-san wait!”

SHATTER

Akaashi stands there in shock as Konoha falls to the ground in complete laughter. Bokuto stops functioning as he begins to slowly turn his head towards his two friends. “AKAASHI!!!” He screams in horror, Akaashi’s internal thoughts begin to spiral, thinking of what to do, and the laughter of Konoha’s is NOT helping.

You on the other hand, were located in the kitchen, when you heard the sound of glass breaking. You run outside in your pajamas, cooking apron and bunny slippers, and your trusty spatula still in hand as your weapon. Turning the corner of your house, you see them. Facing the three boys. “Akaashi? Bo? Konoha?” You ask in confusion. Akaashi’s brain is losing it, Konoha is laughing his ass off, and Bokuto stands there looking at you like a deer in headlights before jumping into you with his arms out. “Y/n!!! I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to break your window! I just wanted to tell you how much I love you with a grand confession but-” You wrap your arms around Bokuto returning the embrace, before your gaze turns to the two boys, then to the broken glass surrounding their feet, and finally looking up to your bedroom window, as you finally process Bokuto’s confession. “WHAT?!”

Miya Atsumu

This motherfker, “would do it on purpose but accidently”.

“Hey samu look how hard i can throw this rock”

He throws it and cracks ur window

He would RUN away, he be like “SHIT SHIT SHIT”

You bet Suna’s in the background recording all of this.

Gin’s the getaway driver bc he's prob the most responsible one of the four second years, or at least most likely to get their driver’s license first ykwim

“GO GO GO GO”

The Inarizaki volleyball club room is filled with chattering, the volleyball fanatics converse with each other. It seems a bit off today, a little too calm… before Osamu walks in irritated. The boys chattering dies down as they turn to the wing spiker, all is well until- “OI ‘SAMU!” There it is. The blonde strolls in after his younger twin. “OI!” “holy shit ‘tsumu shut the fuck up or so god help me im about to make myself an only child” “RUDE!” As always, the Miya twins make a grand entrance, every single day, right before practice. Before Atsumu could scream another word, he catches the gaze of Kita, the stares of daggers stopping him in place, reminding him where he is. Atsumu gulps and begins to get undressed.

The conversations between the boys continue where they were left, before the Miyans arrived. “Hey Gin, congrats on your driver’s license!” Akagi praises Ginjima before jumping to ruffle his hair. “Oh? Nice.” Suna congratulates. Aran comes around and wraps his arm loosely around Ginjima’s shoulder “This calls for a celebration, what do you say captain?” He turns to look at Kita, waiting for his response. “I suppose why not. Let’s get to practice.” He replies, being the first to head out.

Cut to the chase, the boys make their ways home to prepare for the “fun” evening that’s about to come. Ginjiima stops by each of his teammates' houses, picking them up, as saving the Miyas for last. “Oh my god” Osamu lets out frustration as he watches Ginjima pull up, Atsumu is STILL getting dressed. “5-more minutes my ass” He mutters before going out and making his way to his friends’ car. Osamu short circuits, counting the seats in the car. “Gin- what kind of car is this?” “This baby right here?” He steps out of the car and slaps the top roof. “It’s my parents’ old 2002 toyota alphard.” He says proudly. “There’s so many seats holy fuck.” He says before heading in, making his way past Aran and Kita, sitting between Omimi and Suna all the way back.

“Where’s piss hair?” Suna asks Osamu, buckling his seatbelt in. Ginjima made his way back inside as well. “Idk idc, hit it Ginjima.” The team lowkey lets out an internal sigh of relief. Ginjima starts the car and begins backing up before Atsumu comes running out in Osamu’s jacket. “WAITTTT” “NO GINJIMA GO!” Aran, Suna and Osamu yell. Ginjima not having the heart to leave his homie behind, stops the car. An audible grunt comes out of the boys. “Y’all be bullying me everyday :,( “ “Awh don’t say that, Omimi doesn’t” Omimi sitting there thinking. ‘No no I do, in my mind.’

“Whatever, let’s go!” Atsumu short circuits noticing the seats in the car as he opens the door. “Where.. Where am I gonna sit?” Ginjima turns around counting the seats, realizing he’s missing one more for the blonde. “Oh shit! I forgot to install the 8th seat, there's supposed to be one going in between Aran and Kita-san.” Atsumu blinks. “Well guess that means you can’t go.” Osamu bluntly lets out. “WHAAAAT” “Go on the roof.” Suna suggests. “NO NO DO NOT GO ON THE ROOF.” “WAIT I WANT THE ROOF!” “That’s a hazard and illegal” Ginjima, Akagi and Kita let out at the same time. “Why not just sit on the floor.” Omimi says. “It’s just going to be on the way there anyways.” “That’s a good point” Aran compliments. “That is also illegal.” “Shin just this once! Come on get in I’m getting hungry!” Akagi claps his hands and faces forward. Atsumu climbs in, and as he sits down he looks up behind him. Osamu sent a glare down towards his brother. “W-what?” “That’s MY jacket, isn’t it?” “NO IT’S NOT!” The poor blond is kicked forward by his brother. This is gonna be a long ride.

Wait. “Uh Gin.” “Yeah?” “Where are we going?” Gin pauses. “Where do you guys wanna go?” “Oh my god we really didn’t plan this through.” “MCDONALDS!!” “Oh! Good thinking Akagi-san.” “There’s a special with pokemon cards right?” “Ah, my younger brother loves collecting pokemon cards, I’ll be sure to get one for him.” Aran and Kita converse. “Turn and make a left on Kinugakecho Suma-Ward.” The team turns their heads to Suna. He then pans his phone to them, showing the address to the nearest McDonalds on google maps.

“8 happy meal boxes please.” Kita-san asks the cashier, he pays before seating with the others.

“Oh my god I’m so hungry.” Suna lays his head on the table “I’m so excited!!” Akagi jumps in his seat, “Thank you Kita-san” Ginjima thanks his captain. “You really didn’t have to pay for all of it, you should have at least split with me, it was my suggestion to go out and celebrate.” Aran signs laying his chin under his fist. “It’s no worries, it’s nice to treat my teammates out once in a while, even if I don’t condone this unhealthy diet. Just this once is okay.” Kita smiles and Omimi nods.

The food comes in and the 8 boys dig into their little happy meal boxes, in the style of pikachu. “Holy fuck these are so cute.” Suna be admiring the yellow box.“ ‘SAMU THAT WAS MY SWEET&SOUR SAUCE” “GROSS DON’T TALK WITH YOUR MOUTH FULL!” Osamu shoves Atsumu’s cheeseburger back in his mouth. Kita clears his throat and the twins silence. “We are in public please for once be decent.” Aran scolds.

After the meal, the boys sit in their booth content. “Omg guys, pokemon card unboxing haul lets go.” Akagi pulls out the little enveloped deck containing the cards, the other boys, besides Kita, follow. “You guys go ahead, I’m saving mine for my brother.” “Shinsuke” Omimi hands Kita the envelope. “He can have mines too.” Aran hands him over as well. “Yeah, I wouldn’t know what to do with it either, I’m sure your lil bro would love it.” Kita gives his two other seniors a sweet smile and thanks them. The five other boys begin to unwrap, and reveal each other the pokemon cards they got. “Yo can I have your Snorlax.” Suna leans into Osamu. “I’ll trade it for my packet of ketchup.”

The boys head out, Ginjima dropping Omimi, Akagi, Aran and Kita off in that order. Atsumu lets out a whine before the three boys that are left face him. “I don’t want this night to end yet.” The three turn to look at each other before turning back to look at their setter. “Well what else do you wanna do?” “Can we just sit and vibe together, we bros anyways.” Ginjima blinks before asking Suna if he would like to do as said plan. “I mean sure, Suna?” “I don’t mind as long as it’s chill with you.” “Osamu?” “ ‘S your car. Plus whatever this idiot does, most of the time there’s not much of a say in my case” He replies. Ginjima pulls into an empty parking lot of a park. Suna has control of the aux, playing chill music.

The moment feels really nice, just four high school bros, the homies, chilling and vibing at an empty parking lot, listening to Suna’s playlist, a bit past 9pm. These are one of the memories you will find to cherish after graduating high school.

Kodak Black’s “Heart & Mind” starts playing.

The four begin to sing to the song, yeah this is going to be one of those high school memories.

The three boys go quiet, letting Atsumu scream Plies’ chorus. Osamu whistles; “SHEEESH” Suna lets out a laugh. “He’s really feeling it” Ginjima joins in. Before the three begin to sing Kodak Black’s lines again. By the end of the song the boys fall into a pit of laughter.

--start of the actual atsumu x y/n part ToT i’m so sorry--

“Hey I wanted to tell you guys earlier, I think I’m ready to confess to y/n.” The setter admits, laying into the seat with a small smile. “They’re going to say no.” “‘SAMU!” “I’m kidding.” “Wow, never thought you’d have the balls.” Suna laughs with Osamu. “Did the song do this or?” Ginjima asks. “Quit ya teasin and hear me out! >:(“ Atsumu crosses his arms and pouts. “Okay okay sorry, but no seriously takes some guts. Have you thought of when you were going to confess to ‘em?” Osamu reassures his brother and asks. Atsumu pauses and puts his finger under his chin in a thinking pose, before a light bulb clicks. “How about right now?!” He says excitedly. “Right now?” Suna does a lil double take. “Atsumu it’s-” Ginjima looks at the clock in his car. “9:37 right now. 9:37 PM. PM!” “They could be asleep.” Suna butts in. “No-no listen, LISTEN GUYS!” Atsumu quiets his friends down before explaining to them the whole cliche scenes in those American rom-com movies. “That sounds so fucking stupid. I’m in.”

And this is how the four boys end up, in front of your house. “This feels so creepy and illegal.” Osamu shivers, feeling a bit cold by the night weather. “I’m pretty sure this is illegal, throwing rocks at someone's window I mean.” Ginjima furrows his eyebrows. “Tsumu you sure about this.” “It nerf or nothing!” “I think you mean it’s now or never.” “Same thing!” He argues with his brother. Suna has his phone out, ready to record whatever the outcome of this stupid and last minute plan is. The four make their way past your yard, trying to find your light colored curtains, indicating it is in fact your room. “I’m surprised you know where their room is.” “Yet he doesn’t know the quadratic formula.” “ ‘samu!” He hisses before bending over to pick up a rock. “Hey ‘Samu, look how hard I can throw this rock.” This level of confidence did NOT sound good. Atsumu begins to count down before the three freeze up, Ginjima and Osamu letting the reality of the situation sink it. “Wait Atsumu-” “DUMBASS WAIT” Suna standing there unbothered, getting everything on camera before.

SHATTER

The four boys stand in shock, even Suna taken back by the loud sound of glass breaking. He pans the camera to Atsumu before panning up to the window of your room. The lights turn on and you make your way to the window, at first startled but now pissed being woken up, but also now absolutely confused and horrified by the broken glass that fell from your window to the ground below. “SHIT SHIT SHIT” Atsumu begins to book it, grabbing Ginjima and Osamu’s wrists, Suna following, phone still in hand recording. As you see four silhouettes begin to run in the dead of the night, you see a familiar piss shade of yellow and a maroon jacket as they run. The four jump into the car before Ginjima begins to start the engine. Before they drive off, Atsumu takes out the McDonald’s receipt, writing a quick apology and his number before taking out his wallet and throwing whatever cash he had, running back to your doorstep and placing it under your welcome mat. “GO GO GO GO.” He yells as he jumps into the car, the four speeding away.

By the time you reach your front door in attempt to catch the perpetrators, you notice the wrapped up receipt under your welcome mat, pulling it out and unfolding it, revealing a couple 1 dollar bills and a single 5. Confused you read the note, the hand writing almost ineligible.

“Y/N IM SO SORRY IT WAS AN ACCIDENT, WELL PURPOSELY PLANNED BUT STILL AN ACCIDENT. PLEASE CALL ME SO WE CAN TALK THIS OUT I JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU-” The rest of his writing ineligible. You look at the phone number he left and his signed signature, with a heart beside it.

“What the fuck.”

Bonus:

Atsumu again bc he’s- I have no words for him (I love him so much but like its a diff kinda love ifkyky)

But imagine y/n having a brother and atsumu going to the wrong window

And busting a rock thru y/n-brother’s window

And the four just hear “WHAT THE FUCK” in a deep male voice that’s not urs, and the lights turn on and atsumu’s like-

He can feel the soul leaving his body

Bc that dumbass not only broke a window it wasnt even ur window

He dragged Gin out of the car and hit that pedal so hard leaving everyone but himself there on your lawn.

“Are you sure this is where their room is?” Ginjima asks worried. “This seems very very VERY dangerous and illegal.” “GIN! You’re startind to sound like Kita-san, relaaaax I know what I’m doin!” “Doesn’t sound like it” “‘SAMU!!” The twins bicker.

“Actually, I’m heading back to my car this is making me a bit queasy.” The sand-brown haired boy said before turning back to his car. “Up to ya, be our getaway driver yeah?” Atsumu gives a thumbs up before the Ginjima nods and separates from the three, leaving them on their own.

By the time they make their way to what Atsumu thought was your room. He’s already bending over picking up the biggest rock he sees“ ‘Samu, look how hard I can throw this rock!”

“Tsumu don’t-” It was too late. The blonde sends the rock flying to the window. Just as the rock makes contact, the glass shatters and Atsumu is left there in shock, Osamu and Suna as well.

A scream of “WHAT THE FUCK” in the deepest voice is heard emitting from the now open window. Now that can’t be y/n.

The lights turn on and before the two knew it, Atsumu was already booking it back to the car. Suna recording the speed Atsumu was at.

“Hey Atsumu, done already? Wheres-” The door to the driver's seat opens. Ginjima confused, he yelps when Atsumu grabs him and drags him out of the car, getting in and shutting the door before he starts up the engine. “W-WHAT?!” Ginjima stands confused before turning around to see Osamu and Suna run towards him. “GET BACK HERE.” The sound of your brother’s voice rings out and that was Atsumu’s queue to skrrrrt away. Leaving his three friends on your lawn. “TSUMU!” Good luck Gin, Suna and Osamu to deal with your now raging brother.

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Extras: (IM CRACKING UP HELP) 😭

Author’s Note:

Guys I am so sorry I didn’t intend to let these fics drag out for so long, also for not making sense. ESPECIALLY ATSUMU’S. But thank you so much again for taking the time to read this, I really appreciate it even though my work is total shit like headass. If you have the time, please lemme kno what you think! I’d love to hear what you guys have to say! Anyways I hope you all take care and have a great time, stay safe! Hopefully my future work won’t be as shitty. I’ll work to it, thank you so so much again! MWAH I LOVE Y’ALL!!! 🥺💖

edit: rereading the first half of atsumu’s, i think i kno why i dragged that out, im just over here missing my high school homies a lil too much </3

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woulddieforperrytheplatypus · 3 years

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I've been rewatching all the Loki content to get ready for the new show and I have thought of A Phineas and Ferb AU™ for your viewing pleasure (and if anyone wants to turn any part of this into an actual fanfic I would owe you my life)

this post was brought to you in partnership with @dumbausfromdanville

You know how the first Thor movie ends with Loki yeeting himself off the Bifrost and falling to earth? What if, instead of going after the Tesseract, he falls straight to the Tri-State area?

Jane, Darcy, and Selvig all seemed to be on vacation, right? So Thor presumably took place during the summer — say, perhaps, ending on June 3? So he falls right onto Phineas and Ferb's rollercoaster just before it goes down that ♫ three-mile drop straight down ♪. He has no idea wtf is happening so it's not like he gets the chance to sit down and put on a seatbelt, so he's stuck holding on for dear life for the entire rollercoaster ride which Phineas and Ferb find weird but they're not really concerned bc they're chill lil dudes and tbh this isn't too far off a normal day for them.

Phineas and Loki strike up a none-too-pleasant conversation (not that Phineas notices Loki's bad mood; he's too Him to realize not everyone is rainbows and sunshine all day, every day), and our favorite lil disoriented demigod has to figure out where the fuck he is now ("You there. What realm is this?" "Danville 🙂" "Wut da fuk?") and what the fuck he's supposed to do now that he's here.

Phineas ends up inviting him to hang out for the afternoon, and Loki is about to turn him down but then he smells the pie. He's never had doonkleberry pie before so obviously he has to try it. Then, when Loki's no longer hangry, they can hold an actual conversation. It's lowkey more Loki wallowing in his own self-pity than anything else, but Ferb recognizes Asgard when Loki mentions it so he and Phineas piece together that he's a god pretty quickly.

More importantly, though, they figure out that he's completely alone, and because Loki never mentions trying to, you know, murder his brother and lowkey overthrow the monarchy, they just kinda assume Loki's family sucks (Ferb is completely prepared to start the anti-Thor club but Phineas stops him because he doesn't want his brother to get struck by lightning) and adopt him (without his consent, but it's not like he has anywhere else to be -- and he did like that pie).

Loki has no desire to build anything with the boys He thinks the idea of a backyard beach they make the next morning is stupid — even more stupid than a regular beach, and that's saying something. But over time, he gets more involved -- not just with the boys, but with the entire family. He helps the boys build their inventions. He talks about human history with Lawrence and corrects much of his knowledge on mythology. He lets Linda teach him how to bake seriously, her pies are so good. He even suffers through Candace's mall trips as long as he gets to go to that fro-yo place on the second floor (though he draws the line at any conversation involving romance).

He's still a little skeptical of the platypus (and he feels like the platypus is a little skeptical of him, too) but Phineas insists that he's "just a platypus" and he "doesn't do much." Loki doesn't realize that Perry's keeping an eye on him for OWCA, nor does he know that Monogram has absolutely no idea what to make of the dude so he hasn't actually told any of his superiors about him. As far as the government is concerned, after the fiasco in New Mexico, Loki just disappeared.

This makes it fucking hilarious when the boys accidentally steal the superheroes' powers in Mission: Marvel and the superheroes show up at the Flynn-Fletchers' front door only to see fucking Loki. Loki just shuts the door in their faces without a word because what the fuck?, but eventually Phineas and Ferb go check the door and they agree to help the heroes (much to Loki's chagrin), which, of course, isn't complete with Candace fangirling over them (also much to Loki's chagrin; she never fangirled over him). At first the Avengers are fully convinced that Loki is responsible for stealing their powers, and Loki never actually denies it because he's a little shit but Phineas, Ferb, and their friends are very insistent that Loki didn't do anything (except a little bit of manual labor putting together the satellites because they're 10 and he's a whole-ass demigod).

At some point, Thor and Loki have a very heated discussion about the events of Thor, and it's pretty much all news to the Flynn-Fletchers and their friends. They're not really sure what to make of it so they basically glue their mouths shut and watch it all play out. I'd like to think it goes something like it does in The Avengers and that a) Thor is pissed because what the fuck have you been up to Loki you fucking dumbass, b) Thor has been in mourning since Loki yeeted himself into the abyss and he wants to make sure the guy knows it, and c) Loki does not take it seriously at all he's being antagonistic the entire time because he is so sick of Mr. High-And-Mighty's shit. In the end, Loki storms out of the SHEDquarters and Phineas doesn't even think to try to stop him until he's halfway out the door and it's too late.

He shows up again when Phineas, Ferb, and the Avengers try to fight the bad guys in the mall with the wrong powers and he basically singlehandedly saves their asses until superhero Perry shows up. As everyone's favorite shapeshifter, he has absolutely no problem figuring out that this beaver duck dude is the Flynn-Fletchers' platypus. He has no idea what to do with that information, but it sure is information that he now has apparently. (At this point, poor Loki has a very warped sense of what earth is supposed to be like lmao).

Phineas tries to get Loki to come back with them after superhero Perry grabs them and carries them home. Instead, Loki cuts himself loose and falls like 30 feet straight down (and tbh after falling from the Bifrost, that's nothing to him) and peaces the fuck out.

Loki ends up accidentally bonding with Candace and Isabella over feeling useless and unwanted (and he absolutely gets his own verse in Only Trying to Help because it's what he deserves), but unlike the two girls who are hell-bent on changing that, Loki is content wallowing in his own self-pity. He's tried this whole "being important" thing before and he ended up in self-exile for it. He's not putting himself through it again because he really doesn't expect it to end well. But then the powerless heroes decide to face the villains again, and with Candace and Isabella in space and Perry nowhere to be seen, he realizes it is once again up to him to keep the tri-state area safe (which he knows is a stupid priority but he's gotten kind of attached to these stupid little humans and he wants to keep them safe).

Then the heroes get their powers back and they join Loki (and Perry and the mysterious waffle gun in the sky) and beat the shit out of the villains. Thor and Loki work together in the heat of the battle which serves as a Great Bonding Moment™, and once the villains are gone, they have a nice lil heart-to-heart where they both apologize for their past. Thor remarks that Loki seems to have grown a lot over the last couple of months and tries to bring Loki home with him, but Loki refuses. He'll never be welcome back into Asgard, no matter what Thor may say.

But he is welcome with the Flynn-Fletchers, who are completely over the fact that he tried to ruin Thor's life and take his not-so-rightful place on the throne (except Candace who's very skeptical about having him back but it's not like Linda will believe her if she tries to tell her what Thor and Loki talked about so her opinion is unfortunately as irrelevant as it usually is on the show).

And early the next morning, before anyone else is awake, Perry gets an alert that he's needed in his headquarters (presumably to talk to or about Fury). He quietly sneaks off, only to find Loki waiting at the bottom of the stairs for him. They have a very nice "conversation" (not that Perry speaks) about the superhero Ducky Momo they saw the day before, and Loki assures him that his secret is safe, thus starting a much-needed bromance between Loki and Perry because it's what my babies, goddammit!

Anyways yeah if anyone wants to write a fanfic about Loki hanging out with Phineas and Ferb during his self-exile I would give you a socially distant high-five because I want to read it but I have too many other fanfics on my plate to start this one for at least a few months. It doesn't have to follow this prompt literally at all (I swear I wasn't trying to get this in-depth with it but this is what I do apparently) or it can follow this prompt exactly idc i just want a PnF/Loki fanfic 🥺

#marvel #mcu #loki #phineas and ferb #pnf #fanfic idea?#mission: marvel #mission marvel

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leejeongz · 4 years

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nsfw a-z CHOI HYUNSUK (treasure)

🔅highly requested so i hope that you’re all happy with this and it’s what you wanted 🥺 these are so fun to write🤗🔅

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

the nicest boy on the planet. he’ll get you water and will clean you up. he becomes your little puppy and would do ANYTHING for you. he asks you if you’re okay a LOT and is super soft and giggly with you. also tonnes of compliments 🥺

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

he likes his mouth and what it can do to you. using it on any part of your body has you moaning… even just gentle kisses. he likes that he has that influence on you and uses it to his advantage.

on you his fav is… he doesn’t have one? he can’t find anything he likes more than the rest, everything about you is perfect to him and he tells you that regularly. but he is a big fan of your legs and how sexy they look 👀

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

on your face, in your mouth or on your chest. not really a fan of finishing inside because 1. he prefers safe sex 2. HE DOESN'T WANT A CHILD YET and so doesn't wanna cum in the condom either lol just in case. likes to cum on ur tits because it looks nice and it makes him cum thinking about it.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

he likes sending and receiving voice notes. it’s easier to get off to when you guys aren’t together and faster than texting. enjoys phone calls too but doesn’t have time to think before he speaks on the phone so that’s why voice notes >>. plus they last forever, he can return to them at any time.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

keeps it on the low because he doesn’t wanna make you think you have to “live up to previous partners” or “he’s just using me as a statistic” but he’s had a lot of sexual partners. most were romantic partners (as romantic as 3 month relationships can be) but he’s probably had to relieve stress with other people on occasion. he knows what he’s doing, but he doesn’t wanna compare you to other partners so he keep all of his experiences separate from whatever you’re doing together if that makes sense.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

he likes hitting it from the back, doggy all the way. his hands rest on your ass and spread your cheeks occasionally. also gives him the best angle to spit on his dick before pushing it in (doesn't just rely on spit alone as lube tho, he learnt that the hard way).

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

i wouldn’t call him goofy in the moment, but he’s not serious either. he’s just having a good time and so are you. he still remains the same person you see everyday, fun loving and sweet.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

the first few times he knew you were gonna do stuff, he shaved or at least trimmed. but the care slowly started fading out and he stopped doing anything down there. if you don't like it, that’s your problem, not his, it’s a lot of effort to go to for someone who clearly doesn’t accept him for him.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

everything you do, it’s full of love, and it shows. he treats you like his queen and nothing less.

sometimes he can be distant tho, especially during quickies, he has one goal and that is to cum, you’re simply there to assist at that time. but after he’ll show you all the love in the world, he’ll even thank you hehe.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

he does it in the shower most of the time. it’s private and also reminds him of times he’d had sex in there so it’s a winner.

the idea of having sex or looking back at sex is mainly what he gets off to, but he uses porn ocassionally when he’s jacking off in bed.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

PRAISE (giving)- likes to tell you when you’re doing something well and likes to let you know that you look good throughout. it’s his favourite thing to do because he means it. he tells you that you look good on your knees because you do, he tells you that he loves the way you moan because he does. he recognises that this makes him vulnerable but it builds trust.

daddy- only if you’re okay with it bc some people don’t really enjoy it for obvious reasons, but he likes you calling him daddy. he likes your voice anyway, but dropping “daddy” innocently into sentences not only turns him on but also makes him eager to please. you’re his baby girl so it’s only natural that he’s your daddy. he has to treat you right.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

he’s up for it anywhere when he’s in the mood. he loves shower sex. although a little impractical and kinda annoying at times, he loves being able to make out with you in a hot and steamy room and fuck you agasint the shower glass.

he’s also a fan of just basic on the bed, on top of the sheets. it’s convenient and hard to mess up.

both places mentioned he considers quite romantic too, which is why he likes them.

very very very turned on by the idea of fucking you in a bathroom or dressing room backstage but he isn’t sure if you’d be up for it or not, definitely something you’d have to initiate but he’s love it.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

your voice and your moans - you turned on = him turned on. hearing you moan or talk in the way you know he likes… HARD ON STRAIGHT AWAY!!!!!

running your hand through his hair - it sends him crazy. his eyes roll to the back of his head and he has no control over himself when you do that.

wearing his clothes - especially if you wear nothing underneath. he’d encourage that shit too, constantly giving you hoodies and t-shirt’s to wear when you’re at his place.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

anything that puts your safety at risk. you are his happiness and seeing you suffer, even if it something you enjoy, he hates it. he also isn’t one for receiving pain himself. i think he’d not only be hurt physically but also emotionally… like why would you do that to him?

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

likes to keep it equal, always repays the favour. actually enjoys eating you out tho and it’s his ✨forte✨. let’s just say he knows what he’s doing with his tongue. he likes to hold your hand when he eats you out, like in a romantic, intimate way.

when you suck his dick, he’s the type to have his hands laced in your hair. he wouldn’t be too forceful and would let you go at your own pace. he never expects you to suck his dick, he’s not one to request a blowjob all too often, but he would never refuse one.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

he would start of steady, letting you adjust and what not, before making you set the pace. you can back into him as slow or as fast as you want but after a few seconds he’ll be there to steady it out again. he’d be quite rough even though he’s attempting to be romantic, but it’s just to add a little spice.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

oh he LOVES quickies. they turn him on, even just thinking about them turns him on (and usually leads to one when possible). sex is sex and he’s game for any at anytime. most of the time these happen when people are in earshot. he tells you to be quiet but neither of you want to be. the idea of getting caught fucking you in his dressing room turns him on.

he’d actually prefer quickies to dragged out sex. fast fucking to get the job done is more appealing to him than dragging it out sometimes.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

he likes to stick to what he knows. he’d rather know that what he’s doing is good and is actually making you feel good rather than experimenting with something that could go wrong.

he does take risks in the sense that he’s gonna fuck you where you guys could possibly get caught but not as far as to inflict pain or injury.

saying that, he isn’t opposed to trying something that you want to try, or something that you’ve brought from previous experiences.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

he drags out the whole thing if you have the time to, spends a lot of time on foreplay. although this doesn’t happen very often, this type of sex is once in a blue moon.

as mentioned above, he loves quickies, they’re his most favourite type of sex since they happen when either of you need it, not when it’s been built up for god knows how long because he’s too busy for that.

he usually can go for two+ rounds but chooses not to. once he’s started on his aftercare, there isn’t a chance you’re getting more dick after that, you’re gonna have to wait (unless you tease him ofc 11/10 would recommend).

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

he’s in two minds about them. if you already own them, he wants to see you use them and might use them on you too. if you don’t have any but you want to incorporate them, he’s not opposed to it but he’d rather you found out what you liked in relation to toys first. if you didn’t want to use them he wouldn’t even bring it up.

if you wanted to use some on him, he would let you try it out, but he wouldn’t force himself to enjoy it. if he doesn’t enjoy it he’s not letting you use it again.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

he’s a tease outside of the bedroom but during sex, everything is as you see it. he doesn’t want to waste time teasing you, especially if you don’t have the time.

he likes teasing you when people are around. seeing you getting all clammy in front of your friends or his friends to assert his power over you. his favourite thing you do is wink at you and smile. so innocent yet it means so much more to you than it would to someone else when he does it.

sometimes teases you unintentionally. he puts his hand a little too far up on your thigh and before you know it you’re wet and he’s just having a laugh with his friends, not even noticing what he’s done to you. time to take him to the bathroom and show him i think ;).

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

loud! groans and moans a lot, he’s not afraid to do it either, he doesn’t hold back. he knows you get turned on by his groaning just the same as he gets turned on by your moans and so he takes great pride in not being shy to make some noise.

dirty talk is a must among you pair once the initial shyness has gone. you could get off to each other’s voices alone. add that to some amazing sex and you’re all set for orgasm after orgasm.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

(i have a strange feeling that someone has written something like this before about hyunsuk (but better obvs and in more detail) but i can’t remember who… if that’s the case i promise this isn’t me stealing their idea or anything malicious).

“i’ve never done this before” you confessed, opening up your laptop to the screen he’d caught you on. you were really embarrassed that he’d caught you watching porn, but he wasn’t embarrassed in the slightest, in fact, it really turned him on. that’s why he suggested you watch it together.

“we can try it together” he encouraged, pressing the spacebar to continue the video. you turned up the volume a little, making sure you could both hear.

it took you both a few minutes to really become comfortable with the situation. you’d gotten back to imagining yourself and hyunsuk in that situation, while he studied it to pick up on anything that you might be into.

“oh” he looked over at you who was clearly deep in thought “you like blindfolds too?” he asks.

“yeah, it’s hot” you reply, not once taking your eyes off the screen.

hyunsuk looks around your room when his eyes land on your sleeping mask. he hesitates for a second, thinking he might ruin the atmosphere if he springs in on you straight away. he decides to not ask you just yet, he’s a little too tired to have sex right now, but remembers it for the next session.

you glance over towards him, his trousers and hands catching your eye before noticing that he wasn’t even watching.

“are you embarrassed? i can turn it off if you want” you question. he slowly removes his hands from over his pants and instead replaces it with yours. you begin to palm him while steadying the laptop with your other hand. the laptop was soon moved to the end of the bed. your hand was now in your underwear and his was in his boxers. the experience was surreal, it was a lot of firsts for you, you’d never even thought about rubbing one out while your boyfriend did the same next to you, but you were definitely enjoying it.

“don’t cum until i do,” hyunsuk ordered. easier said than done. “i wanna cum listening to your moans, baby”

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

he's smaller than average…4-5” with average thickness but he gets the job done and it doesn’t affect the pleasure he can give to you.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

proper sex, 1-2 times a week. he can be horny whenever you want him to be and you both know that, but he doesn’t always wanna have sex. sometimes he’s just happy with getting you off, especially if he’s tired.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

he gets a little hyper after sex and wants to stay awake just to be around you and show you how much you mean to him. falling asleep is the last thing he wants to do. if you haven’t actually had sex, just a little fondling and playing, he’d fall asleep pretty much straight away afterwards. the whole reason you pair didn’t go all the way at the time was because he was tired so…

#treasure #treasure smut #hyunsuk #hyunsuk smut #choi hyunsuk #choi hyunsuk smut #smut

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firelord-frowny · 3 years

Text

Ok, so here’s my rant about ~critical race theory~ and Certain People’s gripe that all it does is Teach White Children To Feel Guilty, and there’s prolly like a 60% chance that i’m not going where you think i’m going with this. here we gooooo!

There is NO. WAY. to teach a fact-based curriculum on the history and legacy of race and racism in america (or anywhere, for that matter), without kids feeling hurt or embarrassed or ashamed or otherwise Unhappy. This goes for ALL kids. Not just the white ones.

Why??

Because when you learn about living, breathing human beings being brutalized and exploited and humiliated and treated like animals, you are SUPPOSED to feel bad. That feeling is called compassion. It’s empathy, and it’s a GOOD thing. If you can learn about the atrocities committed by humankind against other members of humankind, and NOT feel any degree of despair or shame or disgust, then there’s something wrong with you, tbh.

And if you happen to have some Major Traits in common with the demographics that were primarily responsible for whatever atrocity you’re learning about, you are GOING to have a negative emotional response to that, whether the source you’re learning from tells you to or not. It is NORMAL to feel uncomfortable with knowing what kinds of horrors your ancestors may have been responsible for, and that those acts continue to impact the present-day world. It is NORMAL to feel upset about the fact that even though you obviously didn’t Do Anything, you still have certain privileges thanks to those who did do everything. No, you can’t wave your arm and Fix It. Nobody expects you to.

You might think I’m talking specifically about white people, but I’m not. I’m talking about ANYONE who belongs to a demographic that, historically, has caused or participated in the mistreatment of a different demographic. Think: Christians who feel bad about the ways Christianity has been used as a weapon against certain groups of people. Straight people who feel badly that Other Straight People have made the lives of LGBTQ+ people so difficult for so long. Like, you don’t have to have ever called somebody a homophobic slur in order to still accept a moral obligation to do what you can to mitigate the effects of homophobia in your community. You don’t have to have ever personally forced an indigenous community to abandon their spirituality before you can go out of your way to do whatever small things you can do to support the interests of indigenous peoples.

So yes: when it comes to racism in america, you feel ashamed and sad when you learn about it BECAUSE IT WAS SHAMEFUL AND SAD. Literally, how is somebody NOT supposed to feel shame or sadness or disgust when they learn about all the many ways black people fucking died on the slave ships before even reaching their destinations? What, other than utter revulsion, should you feel when you see images of the torture devices that were used on black bodies? How should you feel when learning about slave “owners” raping enslaved black women? About how even toddlers were forced to do labor? How should you feel when you learn about black protestors being mauled by police dogs? assaulted with fire hoses? About people pouring acid into a swimming pool because black people are in it???

You feel sick BECAUSE IT’S SICKENING. And to try to avoid that discomfort is an act of cowardice, tbh.

Also??? The implication that ~critical race theory~ isn’t a difficult topic for black kids (and all kids of color, really)???? Ridiculous.

Trust me: We do NOT enjoy sitting in a classroom and having to take turns ~reading aloud~ passages about black people being chained and beaten and murdered and lynched and spit on and shat on and humiliated. But we fucking DEAL WITH IT because we know that if we let The World forget that shit, there are people out there who will do everything in their power to bring it all back.

You NEED to feel disgusted, and yes, you even need to feel a little bit ashamed. And you need to feel that way so that, inevitably, when someone in your day-to-day life does or says something repugnant about a race, you will EAGERLY shut them down, because you are incapable of stomaching that kind of hideous and dangerous attitude.

Which leads me to my final point: OBVIOUSLY the white people who are alive today are not responsible for what was done decades ago. Duh. Nobody thinks that. But these two things are also true:

1) White people today... ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE SHIT THAT WHITE PEOPLE ARE DOING TODAY OMFG

and,

2) White people today are not responsible for the past, duh, but they ARE responsible for the future.

We’re all responsible for the future.

And the reason why it’s critical for white people to play an active role in continuing to right the wrongs and heal wounds isn’t because they’re the ones who hurt anybody decades ago - it’s because they should CARE ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE. They should care about the future. When you see people suffering, whether it’s because of a natural disaster, or because of famine, or because of whatever, you are supposed to help. You just ARE. You help because it makes you sad to know that people are hurting when they don’t need to be. You help because the idea of being ABLE to change the world for the better and then just choosing not to do it is repulsive to you.

What do you do if you see somebody being robbed or beaten on the street in broad daylight? You help. You call 911. You do whatever you know how to do, whether it’s consoling the victim, or administering first aid, or staying with them until Actual Help arrives, or even just making sure that the situation is being handled and that you don’t have anything of further use to contribute before moving on. You don’t huff and balk and sneer that “I’M not the one who mugged them, so why should I have to do anything? The mugger should be the one calling 911 and helping to stop the bleeding, not me!”

THAT SOUNDS SO FUCKING STUPID! And it’s EXACTLY how people sound when they bitch about how They’re Not The Ones Who Were Racist 200 Years Ago.

but the REAL gag is that they are the ones being racist Right Fucking Now.

Anyway, I guess I lied lmao bc here is my ACTUAL final point:

Children will survive the unpleasant emotions that inherently come with learning about unpleasant parts of human history - especially ones that continue to have deeply damaging and GLARINGLY obvious impacts on all of our daily lives. And the BEST way to ensure that they survive it is for the adults in their lives to learn to stop being such fucking cowards and start taking responsibility for the future instead of bitching about who’s to blame for the past.

#ok to reblog

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charged-wanderlust · 3 years

Text

a beautiful hurricane, pt. 2 | jett slater x mc x remy chevalier

OK THIS IS NOT TURNING OUT HOW I ORIGINALLY PLANNED BUT I LIKE IT TOO MUCH TO CHANGE IT SO BARE WITH ME.... these fics literally write themselves i have no say in it i just start writing and black out and boom its done. anyway here's the next part of the piece commissioned by @mcira it's very jett-centric but remy will have his turn in the last part ok. it'll go out with a bang. literally. ALSO SIDE NOTE ik the s1 heists were like. quick. in the canon. but i took some creative liberties and said its taking months bc its more realistic for them to fall in love this Deep in that time ok? ok good lesgo

“You can’t do that.”

“You can’t tell me what to do!”

Heat flares up beneath your skin, which wasn’t uncommon around these particular handsome scoundrels, but this time it was more akin to an angry boil than a pleasant simmer. How dare they? You may be new to the Poppy, but you’re competent on your own and definitely capable for the task at hand.

“You don’t get it, MC,” Remy sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose - you try not to deflate at the lack of his usual pretty nicknames. When has hearing my own name from his lips make me distraught rather than elated? “You can’t let your guard down just because you’re getting closer to him. He’s a conman too, and a good one- besides, would you really leave Jett to handle the break-in alone?”

“Yes I would, actually!” You flash back, hands clenched into fists. “Because unlike you, I realise that Jett is fully capable of doing things on his own, and I don’t tell him what he can and can’t do! You said it yourself - I’ve exceeded your expectations repeatedly since arriving here. So why can’t you trust my judgement and let me do what I set out here to do in the first place?!”

Remy rolls his eyes so hard he probably got a glimpse of his brain, while Jett bangs his fists on the table. “It’s not even a matter about helping me get the painting or not, MC- it’s the fact that you’ll be alone with a notorious conman on a yacht, isolated from any witnesses, who need I mention - is definitely into you and likely will try something?!”

“Oh I’m sorry, I thought you said you weren’t the jealous type!” You hold your ground, arms crossed with frustration. “We already know the Lumiere film is on that yacht. How do you suppose we get it, if I’m not even allowed on the damn boat?!”

“Through a plan,” Remy says decisively, giving you a look that has no room for argument. “We can get him to invite both of us on board, I’m sure. Plant a camera on him to figure out where it is and any security codes… there’s ways, MC. Ways that don’t involve throwing yourself head-first into danger. You know it’s a bad idea when even Jett Slater is saying it’s a bad idea! He literally only ever comes up with bad ideas!”

“Yeah, throwing myself into danger is my job!”

“Says who?! This is just a straight up double-standard; it’s okay if Jett does it, but not me? Cause what, he’s experienced? How am I meant to get experience if you don’t let me?”

“Cause I’d rather get hurt than see you hurt, MC!”

…

“...what?”

“Fuck!” Jett flings his hands up in defeat, then stalks off to his room and slams the door shut, reverberating throughout the penthouse. Remy seems at a loss for words, too, his guard up and expression unreadable.

“You haven’t seen how dangerous this line of work gets, ma cherie,” Remy sighs, plopping himself down on the couch and running a hand through his hair to calm himself down a little. “We don’t want you to find out. You didn’t sign up for that.”

“Didn’t I, though?” You settle yourself next to him, tentatively placing a hand on his shoulder, hoping it’ll ground him just a little. “I knew you were criminals, I knew we were doing dirty work. If I hadn’t expected things to get dangerous, I’d have been even more naive than you thought I was. I’ve spent months preparing, Remy - I’ll get the location of the film and I won’t let him lay a hand on me.”

He shivers. “The thought of that… that bastard anywhere near you is enough to make me want to punch a wall,” he growls, “He doesn’t deserve you. He doesn’t even deserve to think he does-”

“Remy.” You squeeze his shoulder gently, snapping him back into reality. “I personally think it’s more satisfying to feed into his delusion of deserving me, then pry that out of his hands and leave him aching. Besides - this is for the heist, right? I think getting that film is more important than anything relating to Parker. I mean, the first ever kiss recorded on film-”

He cuts you off with a laugh that kisses your ears like a finely tuned guitar, wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you to his side abruptly.

He’s trying to hide his face…?

“You go from beautifully cruel to brilliantly passionate so quickly, cherie. That’s what I like about you.”

Oh. Oh. Okay. My heart better calm the heck down before he hears it-

Before you could even formulate a coherent thought, let alone a reply, he pulls away, getting up and making for the door. “You’re right. You’re not something - not someone I can control. You’re… something else.”

Shrugging on his coat, he’s halfway out the door before he adds, “Talk it out with Jett. He’ll come around now that he’s had a moment to cool down.”

It’s jarring - he was so angry just moments before, but once the heat faded, it became clear; he cares. He cares far, far more than he lets on - than he wants to, even - and Jett does too. Nodding to Remy, you go for Jett’s room, noiselessly slipping in under the cover of his loud punk music.

Jett’s language is physical touch, that much you know. So instead of calling out to him, you approach him carefully from behind while he’s fixated on an explosive painting full of hot, blazing colours, and lay a hand on his shoulder.

Much like Remy, he instantly softens, turning to look at you with wide eyes that if you squint, were flecked with remorse. You withhold a smile - had you just cracked the code to these men? Just touch them gently and they’re all good again.

“MC, I-”

“Jett.”

He stills, letting you talk. He’s done yelling at you, done fighting; so he listens. And just like before, he’s a surprisingly good listener.

“Look. I know you’re worried for me, and… honestly I’m touched. You’ve been encouraging me to break out of my shell this whole time, and I’m really starting to embrace it. This life, too. I know I can do this because I know myself now, and… all I ask is for your to trust me. Trust that I won’t let Parker even so much as breathe in my direction without me wanting him to, trust that I can secure the location of the film at least-”

“Are you kidding? I’ve always trusted you.”

His reply catches you off guard, his face genuine, body language open. You’re silent for a moment in your surprise, so he takes that as a sign to continue.

“We wouldn’t have picked you for this if we didn’t trust you, MC. You’ve proven yourself over and over again. Just because you can do this doesn’t mean we want you to.” He sighs, collecting himself. “Maybe Remy and I were being a bit of a wet blanket. But you see where we’re coming from, right? This is your first con, and this is practically throwing you into the deep end.”

“Being thrown into the deep end is the quickest way to learn,” you explain calmly, dipping a finger in his paints and dabbing his nose with it. He snorts, but a smile is creeping across his lips and it makes something dance in your chest.

“What if something goes wrong?”

“What do you usually do when something goes wrong?”

He grins, going back to his painting and making a few quick strokes of gold across the horizon line. “I blow shit up, usually.”

“Then give me some of your bombs.”

Jett’s eyes nearly pop out of his damn hand, twisting in his stool to gape at your incredulously. “Are you serious? On a yacht? You’d sink the ship- unless it was a controlled explosion, just enough to cave in a door… or a flashbang, to stun him… or a smoke bomb…”

You can almost see all the ideas popping up in his head, his knee bouncing up and down with slowly increasing excitement. It’s contagious - you find yourself grinning right back at him, mischievous.

“I’ve always wanted to blow something up.”

“It’s settled, then!” He sets down his paintbrush and stalks over to his workbench, grabbing some things and getting to work. “You’re really full of surprises, aren’t you, love? I can’t say I don’t love it, though.”

There it is again, you think, gnawing at your lower lip. All these heartfelt compliments said so casually. How the hell am I meant to know where I stand?!

It’s almost as if the universe answers - or maybe your subconscious knew all along.

Ask.

...Deep breaths, MC.

“You sure throw around the word love a lot, Jett,” you point out, trying your best to sound casual about it. His back is facing you, and you immediately notice his body freeze over at the sudden cold shower of your words.

After a moment, it passes, and he gets back to work. “Yeah. And?”

“And?” You scoff, not believing he’d be oblivious enough as to not get the hint. “I knew you were bad at communicating, but wow-”

He shrugs it off, still not turning around to look at you. “What do you want me to say, MC? You’re Remy’s wife.”

“Fake wife.”

“Might as well be his real one at this point,” he scoffs. “Do you see the way he looks at you? Like you put all the stars in the sky?”

“We’ve literally been practicing the way we look at each other for the con, Jett-”

“I was his husband for a con, once, and I’m telling you he never looked at me the same way he looks at you.”

His voice lowers, and you’re slowly starting to piece everything together. How even his stubborn ass would agree with everything Remy said, how he’d teased you and Remy for being a good couple even more than the rest of the Poppy combined, his joking comments about joining in-

“You’re in love with Remy, aren’t you?”

His silence answers you louder than any words could, and he knows it, too. He chokes out a distraught laugh, finally casting a look over his shoulder to meet your gaze. His is glossy, and you gasp, just as a tear rolls down his sun-kissed cheeks.

“Shit. How could you tell?”

Your instinct is to go over to hug him, and he doesn’t protest, instead going back to tinker with his smoke grenade.

“I mean it when I said I’m not the jealous type, really. It makes me so happy to see you two together. So happy - even if you aren’t really together, I haven’t seen Remy smile like that in a long time. You deserve each other - and I’m glad I can see the two people I care about most-”

“-both of us?”

His voice cracks mid sentence, and he twists around in your embrace to place a gentle kiss to your forehead. “You were a more recent development. But this doesn’t have to make things weird between us - I’ll just need some space.”

You shake your head slowly, cupping his face. “Why are you so convinced that we don’t like you back? You haven’t seen the way he looks at you when your back is turned.”

Just like that, his entire world got flipped on an axis, with you at the center. Struggling to rationalize this new perspective, new information, he starts to ramble. “B-Because you haven’t- I mean he hasn’t- I wasn’t meant to share this, but he’s been in love with you since you first met. Before you even knew you met. He disguised himself so he could talk to you at a coffee shop while you were painting and-”

“Jett,” you laugh, looping your arms around his neck. “Stop talking.”

He puts a finger to your lips before they meet his, the single digit the only thing keeping you apart.

“We should talk to Remy first,” he breathes out. “And- and promise me. If you’re wrong, and he doesn’t feel like that about me - don’t let me get in the way of you two. Please.”

You nod, kissing his cheek instead. This time, he doesn’t flinch, and he doesn’t pull you in for more.

“Let’s go talk to our favourite Frenchman, then.”

He smiles, wild, wide and breathtaking.

“Let’s.”

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scandeniall · 4 years

Text

wash day head canons (black!reader)

kuroo, sakusa, atsumu, iwaizumi x black f!reader

Now this is hella self indulgent for my fellow black bbys on here with 4 of my top 5 boys helping on wash day. Now reminder babies, our hair is beautiful. It doesnt matter if your 3a high porsity or 4c low porosity (like me oop). And any of these clowns would be blessed for his bby to have your hair!

Kuroo

He’ll help if you ask. You just want company? He got you. He the bf you ask to go get the scissors so you can cut the braids shorter and you actually trust him to not cut your hair.

Hes gentle when taking the braids out, not really commenting on how dirty it might be

But hes ass at the pre-poo stage

Like this mf will MISS sections

And will be like “damn thats crazy my bad” when you tell him. But it happens EVERY time

He lets you wear one of his tshirts the first time you ever spent your wash day with him, and it just becomes your official wash day shirt

He the bf that’ll go get you food if your hungry, bc theres no way in hell youre going out with only half of your braids in

Hes sweet though and kisses you before he goes.

He’s annoying and like “let me hop in the shower w/ you” (partly to see you naked, partly bc them products smell good)

I can just see him as the type to be deadass mesmerized by shrinkage and the type to just play with the bouncy coils

Now listen, he is NOT washing my hair but he can look. He’d try work through sections but will tangle tf out of your hair

Anyways, once your’e out at this point hes tired (shit me too), so just kinda vibes out in the same room while you do your hair

Once he asked to help you post wash, and you say why not, and he go to apply product and he will be the “quarter size amount” type

“Kuroo- what are you doing with that”

“Uh about to put it in” and he look at you like DUH

“Damn my hair about to be dry af” you have to help that boy out.

But he also the type to know how expensive hair products are bc he listens to you when you talk and is just like ????

Idk i love kuroo, he wouldnt be terrible help, but not professional helper status

Sakusa

Now listen here. This mf is NOT helping with the takedown process. He saw you do it once and saw the built up dirt and said “yeah ima head out”

Plus, he’s not about to touch all that fucking braid hair

You: Yoomi do you wanna help me-

Him- no

But alright once you're actually washed he’s better.

Since wash day take the whole day, and if its a day where he doesnt have v-ball stuff hes more than content to just sit and turn on something for you both to watch for the day.

Your arms hurt from detangling post wash? Yeah you not about to rest your wet ass head anywhere

He hates the feel of your products, but if you ask with the right look and tone of voice (grossly sweet), he’ll take over a section with product application

Apply generously? He got you.

If the product works for his hair too, he IS the type to buy products for the both of you

Anyways back to him helping post wash/condition. Hes good at finger detangling

Yall know i hc him as having a secondary love language of touch-

Anyways on that note, at that point he’ll let you sit between his legs in front of your big ass floor mirror and yeah when he feeling extra soft and domestic, kisses on your temple

You put him on to bonnets lets be real here (he got a collection bc he washes his way more than you do LMAO)

Atsumu

Now hes USELESS

Type to tease and be like “this mean I can go out to the club without you”

He would not help your ass at all during the takedown

Once he tried (and actually tried) and almost cut your real fucking hair

“C’mon babe, I won’t do it again”

“Absolutely not”

Another “let me join you in the shower ass mf”

He’s hot so um yeah ima just get on my knees at this point. He don’t even gotta ask

“This is a good time for ya to let yer deep conditioner sit”

“Don’t tangle my hair even further” you gotta redirect his hands though

Anyways when thats done, don’t trust him with a comb near your scalp at ALL

He doesn’t mean to be rough, but this man is impatient

Hes annoying and just sits on the bathroom counter while you just going through it

The type to mess around with your products

Another boy you put on to the magic of scarves and bonnets

His shit already deep fried with that dye and he cant afford more damage

Hes headass and wants yall to have matching ones

Iwaizumi

Yeah hes the best

Whatever you want baby, he got you

You can trust him with the scissors

Once you told him about the importance of being gentle when taking the braids out and stuff, he makes a conscious effort to make sure hes gentle

You say you can’t hang out bc its wash day? Yeah he’s right there with you

He’ll gather your stuff for you if you asked. Wide tooth? He got it. Spray bottle? check

If you listen to music while you take your hair down, he’s just vibing, whether its with him helping or keeping you company

Now I hate doing my hair and would be a simp for someone who does like this, so yeah lemme get a distraction smooch

He indulges for a little bit, maybe a few little touches and gropes until

“You’re gonna complain all night if you don’t get this done today”

Then back to business

He wont hop in the shower with you unless you ask

But once you come out with your hair mask sitting and shit, he’d have a snack for yall

Scalp massages!!!!

He got the oil, the love for you and everything

He’s just the right amount of rough that it feels good, but not to where it’d damage and frizz up

Iwaizumi perfect boyfriend thank u

a/n: now this sucks and ive never written actual hq headcanons, but i dont have the brain power to write full lengths rn and this is a mess of words and i want someone to luv me and my hair LMAO. (i was gonna do akaashi bc he rounds off my top 5 but im lazy). Also idk i wanted to write something and had ZERO ideas

#hq x reader #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu imagine #haikyuu imagines #kuroo x reader #sakusa x reader #iwaizumi x reader #atsumu x reader #hq x black!reader

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choco-mark · 4 years

Note

if you’re still open for the reactions and mtls, could you do ‘what they would get/do for you for your 1st anniversary’ please? i was debating whether or not to send in a second post but i ended up convincing myself to do it anyways bc i know writers block is just so annoying and if this is a way to help you out then i’ll gladly do so 💛

this is definitely a way to help my writer’s block so go ahead!!

mark

remembers it’s y’all’s anniversary the day before because jaemin jokingly said something along the lines of ‘you guys have been dating for too long’

kind of internally freaks because he has absolutely no clue what to do, and doesn’t know if you want to do fancy or casual like he’s going full mental breakdown

ends up taking to you to a local carnival because last minute plans, but y’all both love the energy so it was fun and a way for y’all to spend time together

had no clue what to get you and also didn’t have the time to get anything for you, so he ended up giving you one of his sweatshirts for long term (not like you steal them anyway or anything) but you didn’t really care because he was a gift himself :((

wins you one of those huge plushy stuffed animals from a water gun game and feels like a whole boss

has another mental breakdown when he sees you jumping up and down with that stuffed toy and cannot process that you are actually his girlfriend of an official year :(

tells you he loves you on the top of the ferris wheel while the fireworks are going off like ‘boom, i love you y/n, happy anniversary’ and then gets all shy because he usually doesn’t say things like that

y’all have a fun night after that ;)

renjun

was away on tour during y’alls first anniversary and feels like absolute shit because he wants to be with you so he flies over, yeah, fans are a lil confused but you were first priority

what was ten times worse was that you were sick and you didn’t tell him so there was like a mini argument that eventually ended up with him cuddling you for like three hours

you guys don’t even go anywhere, it’s just a cozy day at the (empty) dorm and y’all just made a lil meal together and it was just the two of you

took his time to make a polaroid collection of just you, there’re just a buncha candid pictures of you that you don’t really remember him taking at...all but there’s a little message at the end that puts all of junnie’s feelings into words and it’s just :(

has to fly back literally the next morning but he blows your mind that night hehe ;)

jeno

was a nervous pup for about a week prior to the anniversary date because he was just afraid nothing would go right :(

planned a whole picnic and even got renjun to cook for the two of you (also because he didn’t want to end up blowing up the dorm), and stresses over what he’s gonna wear like ‘will y/n like this??’ ‘nah, i look like shit’ and couldn’t sleep the night before because of it

but when he sees you all smiley when y’all walk down the street to the little field he had set up just for you, that’s when he finally relaxes and falls in love with you all over again

filled a jar full of candies and paper hearts that he cut out himself and has you go through them and read through the little messages he has on them, and then gets all shy from the way you find it really cute

makes love to you for the entire night and it’s just such soft sex because he’s so in love with you omg :(

donghyuck

went insane almost a week before trying to find you the perfect gift but feels like you wouldn’t like his gift and kinda gets frustrated

you guys already live together, so it’s not a surprise when you come home and see him laying draped across the bed with rose petals all over the floor and himself, while he’s just watching you get all shocked

you thought he was gonna propose to you from the way he was looking at you, but gives you a promise ring with his initials engraved in them and you cry because omg that’s :( even i’m upset while writing this, it’s just so pretty and the way he looks at you and promises to marry you in the future :(((

he didn’t really have a plan to do anything because he knows how tired you already are from your day and runs a bath for the two of you

yeah you guys end up fucking after that, but it’s slower than usual and he takes his time to make sure you’re properly pleasured ;)

jaemin

you already know jaem’s is a romantic lil shit, so he shows up at your house wearing the hottest suit you had ever seen on him, like ever, and is like, ‘get ready baby, we’ve got a long night ahead of us’

you guys end up missing your dinner reservation because he offers to help you get ready but he just ends up eating you out on the couch and doesn’t regret shit because he needed that

he takes you there anyway (and has to pay extra for his horny ass) and y’all are fine dining outside with the moonlight as your view, and there’s a nice lil river flowing underneath the bridge y’all on, yes he paid money for this, rich nana am i right?!

gives you a 24k gold necklace as a gift and you are about to explode from the way he’s fastening that shit around your neck when it’s literally worth more than you and you feel like a broke bitch for your gift to him

kisses on your way home :( and him just whispering to you every three seconds that he loves you, holding your hand, running his hand through your hair :(

and he eats you out for like two hours after that since the meal wasn’t enough ;)

chenle

cannot process that it’s been a year since the two of you started dating and isn’t sure if he should buy you a phone or a house, but opts out of both when renjun tells him not to objectify the gift too much

thinks about what to get you for so long and even searches up ideas (it’s his first anniversary ever, okay?!), and then thinks about your and his relationship deeply and then BOOM he knows exactly what to do

has mark help him write you a song, though he does most of the writing reminiscing on the whole year you guys had together and mark is shedding fake tears of ‘my son grew up’

you spend the night with him the day before and you wake up to him singing for you while watching you with the most love-struck eyes, and plays the whole song he wrote for you off his phone, while you’re like, bawling your eyes out from the way he sang your name

you guys don’t actually do anything except cuddle in his bed for hours after that, just softly talking to each other and stealing little kisses every now and then

jisung

has gone into cardiac arrest too many times for it to happen again, so he’s definitely not letting it happen on y’all’s anniversary!! right?! that’s right, confident jisungie in the house now!

thought about what he wanted to get you for so long, but his surprise is kind of ruined when he accidentally leaves it out when you’re over one day, and gets a lil flustered and upset but you didn’t see that much!!

bought you a huge hoodie, since you’re constantly wearing ones that are way too big for you or his own, but decided to go all artist jisung™ and stitches his name like in really baby font on the front :( and it comes out a lot better than he expected

overthinks it on the actual day and wonders if you think it’d be weird that he wrote his...name on your clothes, decides that it is weird, goes to discard of it but turns around and sits down because he had nothing else anyway

you love it anyway :( and you give him the phattest kiss after you put it on and yeah, his heart stopped beating for a lil watching you smile and giggle and all

his heart is doing flips everywhere in his body watching you and kinda just hugs you thigh like you’re his world (you are), and doesn’t let go of you until you give him another very requested kiss

#finished this after my writers block haha #answered #nct reactions #nct mlts #nct dream reactions #nct fluff #nct dream fluff #jaemin fluff #jisung fluff #chenle fluff #jeno fluff #renjun fluff #donghyuck fluff #haechan fluff #mark lee #mark fluff #nct mark fluff

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genshins1mpact · 3 years

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okay so i know i mentioned on here before that i have a bunch of dreams when i sleep and how i had that cute one with xiao & mingxiao before right?? 👀

forgot to share it sooner bc life but anyway i had a funny/cute dream with diluc the other day (i'll try to add a read more bc this got a lil long but it doesn't always work on mobile so i'll try & fix it asap if so!) but yeah this kinda turned into a whole fic of its own lol,,

☆ the dream itself is here, under the cut! ☆

basically, to not have to explain all the lore about my oc/self insert and all that again, the tldr of it is that i landed on teyvat similar to traveler but didn't really have anywhere to go so after gaining his trust and becoming close, diluc sort of just takes me in and lets me work at the tavern + lets me stay in a spare room at the winery. so yeah we often walk to/from work together if he's working at angel's share that day, and i guess everyone just assumes we're dating?? ...except for me, that is, who still thought he was in love with jean (bc of the whole stormterror thing).

one night, kaeya's been hanging out in the tavern all night, venti's already left or passed out or smth, and then once things close up, diluc and i get ready to head off, but apparently this is the first time kaeya's seen us head off together/in the same direction, and immediately decides to start teasing. he's all "ooh look at the two lovebirds, you've moved in together already? how'd you ask her out, i didn't know you two were a thing, congrats bro so glad she likes you back" kinda stuff and then i just start laughing and telling him to knock it off, wouldn't want jean to overhear and misunderstand. and they're both just like ......wait what? and i'm all "oh cause diluc likes jean right? i thought the were like an Unspoken Thing yknow??" and both stare at me as if i've grown like 3 heads and started doing a one-(wo)man barber shop quartet. lightbulb goes off in kaeya's head that i don't know jack shit & we're not a thing (yet) and diluc is just thinking like "i can't believe you're literally this oblivious, holy shit". hence kaeya's teasing The Sequel, where he just starts complimenting my uniform and says i look like a cute little maid or whatever and diluc is silently fuming behind me. he mutters something along the lines of "how oblivious can you possibly be?" and all but throws his coat/jacket over me to try and cover me "bc it's cold" (yeah yeah sure, jealous much? haha), then asks me how i never noticed how he felt about me. so i'm there having an earth teyvat-shattering moment of revelation that it WASN'T jean he liked, and that he didn't do all those nice things for me bc i'm friends with her, but because he liked...me????

kaeya smugly walks off with a little "you're welcome", after a his shenanigans, and i'm still trying to process things bc i'd never seen diluc that way, always assuming he'd liked someone else so i never really looked at him that way. we kind of quietly resume our walk back "home" and im clutching his jacket close to me, then we both try to speak at the same time, he tries to ask for my response/reaction and i was trying to ask for some time. he's kind of confused and almost looks hurt, but agrees to give me some time to think, since i explained the whole "not seeing him in that light" and didn't want to answer on a whim. that i didn't want to mistake gratitude for all he's done for me for affection and stuff so he was like hey good point i wouldn't want you to feel like i forced you into this, and no you're not gonna get kicked out/fired if you don't like me back, it's okay. diluc mentions having to be away for 2 weeks cause of a work trip and that i can respond then.

in the meantime, a bunch happened like a trip to liyue with aether & paimon, a whole girls' talk over tea with jean & lisa over the situation, and got my own lil serenitea pot so i potentially had the option of moving out now if i wanted to. i decided to my day off from the tavern to go out on a little adventure, just journey around and test out the teapot home and all that jazz. ran into noelle and we hung out/trained for awhile together and invited her in for for a tea break and stuff, like it was just really cute and fun. but apparently diluc came back a few days early and was freaking out when i was nowhere to be found, no one had any idea where i was, and was just really concerned something might happen to me. then noelle arrives through the gates and overhears him asking lisa stuff and goes all "oh she's over by (idk where i was maybe that bit of land between mond & liyue?) and he thanks her for the info and runs off to find me. he finds the teapot (somehow) on some rock but doesn't see me and i come back out of my lil abode bc someone outside kept saying my name and then i felt the teapot shake (he'd picked it up). cue a dramatic reunion in the rain bc when isn't it pouring and trying to kill me in teyvat in true romcom fashion i guess.

diluc is all "do you have any idea how worried i was about you? all alone out here? any of the abyss mages could have hurt you or taken you away or-" just rambles on and meanwhile im having this sort of Oh You're Back and I Think I'm Feeling Things realization (absence makes the heart grow fonder lol). so there's just this kind of strong, desperate hug moment and everything's quiet, save for the pouring rain and faroff occasional lightning strike. and i whispered something along the lines of "i think i'm in love with you" and his eyes widen before responding smth like "i think i'm in love with you too" with a fond smile, the first genuine huge smile i've ever seen on him (pls picture him like in the manga and not his in game ._. face PLS-🤣). cue another romcom cliche reunion hug + kiss scene in the rain, in which we take shelter from the rain inside the serenitea pot bc of how bad the storm kept getting.

(aether has tubby but i have chummy, kinda looks like the teapot salesman, and i usually just call her chums.) so we're greeted by chums who kind of is like staring daggers at diluc bc i showed up with a guest unannounced, drenched, and we're holding hands. she's overprotective in a very Mom Friend kind of way but she just means well. we change into some baggy share clothes i have and then i scrambled up something to eat (since we can apparently cook & forge in our lil pot i love that so much-) anyway so we decide to get some rest bc it's late and have the Oh No There Was Only One Bed conundrum until we agree to just share and sleep on opposite sides bc nbd right? i turned in my sleep and essentially was hugging his back whilst asleep, and he just turned over at some point and hugged me too, and booooiiii was this fire boy WARM, he felt like a personal heater and after all that rain, i slept like a log. diluc woke up before me cause he's used to an earlier schedule and slips out quietly to speak to chummy, asking if she knew where the supplies were cause he wanted to surprise me with breakfast (and man can he cook! goodbye kfc, hello good hunter). chummy is still kind of not vibing with him, until he apologizes for "intruding" and explains everything that's happened, to which chums kind of softens up and realizes he's sweet and just wants to do something nice, not go around raiding the house. woke up alone and went to look for the source of the smell, and kinda just clung to him, making diluc blush. don't remember too much more after the cooking thing though besides going for a stroll around my teapot layout, meeting all the pets that chill there, and kinda just having a relaxing day off together. the winery staff was probably freaking out wondering where we were, but we were just kinda in our own world (literally?), enjoying the peace before returning to all the chaos that is teyvat. cutest damn dream ❤

#aerinposting #aerin.txt #aerin.dreams #my dreams #aerin's dreams #i forgot what i was tagging these as i'm sorry hfjdjff #Long post #basically this all but counts as a diluc fic #I could most probably reword this and throw in some more detail and make it one lmfaaaaoo.... but will i.... wip's tend to stay wip's 🤧#diluc dream #ft kaeya being a lil shit; jeanlisa being amazing friends; chummy being her wonderful self; brief mention of venti and noelle; & any npcs i #Pls post and dont fail i beg of u;;;;;

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glitterblazercalum · 4 years

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got a river for a soul, and baby, you’re a boat

or: Oh, fuck. We showed up wearing matching couples’ costumes to this party by accident and now everyone thinks we’re together.” + cashton

hello and happy halloween everyone!! giant thank u to ainslee @ashesonthefloor for putting this event together!! and for forcing me to actually get this fic done, looking it over, and generally being a major source of serotonin in my life. another huge thank u to bella @clumsyclifford for being one of my favorite people and loving frat boys enough that it made me want to write a fic about them to annoy her <3 love you both <3

here is the link to the event masterpost bc I highly recommend checking out all of the other amazing fics:

https://ashesonthefloor.tumblr.com/post/633534107120549888/hello-welcome-to-my-halloween-fic-event

warnings: mentions of alcohol

word count: 2,872

without further ado, please enjoy the fic I wrote mostly all last night while looping drag me down for thirteen hours straight :))

Calum doesn’t know what fuckhead came up with the idea of having a joint Halloween party for Sigma Nu and Sigma Pi this year, but he really wants to fight them. He thinks he’d probably have a lot of people on his side, considering how much Sig Nu and and Sig Pi hate each other, so he tucks the idea of interfraternity war away in his head as a contingency plan in case the party goes to shit, as joint parties with any other frat always seem to. And it’s not like it’s a one night thing, because all three days of the “Halloweekend,” as Michael refuses to stop calling it, are supposedly going to be spent with Sig Nu, one party at their own house, and two at the shithole that he assumes is the Sig Nu house, in some deranged attempt at bonding. He’ll be lucky to make it out alive, probably.

Before college, he really never did anything of his own for Halloween, mainly used to being used as a prop or side character for his sister Mali-Koa’s elaborate costumes, or, after she’d moved out, sticking a pair of fake fangs in his mouth to hand out candy to the few kids who rang the doorbell despite his efforts to keep all the lights in the house off. Last year, as a freshman, he’d gotten roped into a group costume with some of the other Sig Pi pledges, and while his memories are...hazy at best, he vaguely remembers falling asleep in a Teletubbies onesie at the end of the night.

This year, though, no one has tried to tell him what to dress up as, so it’s now a few hours before the first of the three parties, and Calum still has no ideas for what he should dress up as. A quick Google search for “cheap easy costumes” hadn’t really been all that helpful, so he decides to ignore the problem and take a nap until he actually has to leave.

A few hours later, Michael barges into the room to drag him out of bed, and looks around for a few seconds before asking, “You don’t have a costume, do you?”

Calum groans, pulling himself out of bed and wracking his brain for an idea that he can plausibly bullshit in the next few seconds, because he can’t let Michael be right and have something to tease him about, so he blurts, “I’m going to be a salt shaker.”

Michael gapes at him a bit for a few seconds before asking, “What the fuck? What kind of costume is that? What are you even going to wear for that?”

Calum mentally kicks himself in the shin, as hard as possible, because he really hasn’t thought this through. Why couldn’t he have just said cat or cowboy or something even slightly in the realm of normal Halloween costumes?

“Uhhh.. y’know that baseball tee I have? The one with the black sleeves and white middle?”

“I’m pretty sure that’s in my closet, but continue.”

“What the fuck, dude? Give it back!”

“You haven’t noticed that it’s missing for like three weeks, I just assumed it was mine now. Tell me what the rest of the costume is,” Michael demands.

“I’ll just tape a piece of paper with a big ‘S’ on it to the front of my shirt, and then put one of those pots with the holes on my head. Bam! Salt shaker!” Calum says, moderately impressed with his ability to pull stuff out of his ass this quickly.

“What makes you think we even have a colander?” Michael asks, crossing his arms.

Calum gives him a blank stare. “A what?”

“That’s what the pots with the holes are called, you idiot.”

“You think Harry would live anywhere that didn’t have a fully-stocked kitchen? There’s bound to be one in one of the cabinets or something.”

“Fine. I’ll go get the shirt while you look for the colander.” Before Calum can object, suggest that he look through Michael’s closet himself and steal back any of his other clothes that have somehow wound up there, Michael’s already halfway down the hallway.

Sighing, he trudges down the stairs towards the kitchen, where one of the seniors, Niall, is sitting with his head in his hands, dressed as a pirate.

“Hey, dude, nice costume,” Calum offers as a greeting. “You wouldn’t happen to know where I can find a colander, would you? I know Harry—”

“Do not talk to me about Harry right now,” Niall says, and Calum stops his search for a moment to send him a concerned look.

“What happ—”

“That needy-ass motherfucker thinks that just because I didn’t want to do a couples’ costume with him, it means I don’t love him anymore! Never mind the fact that he literally mentioned this idea to me yesterday, well past the point where everyone finalizes their costumes.”

Calum offers him a sympathetic look and offers, “Couples’ costumes are boring and cheesy anyways. Neither of you are missing out on anything, at least in my opinion.”

Niall lifts his head up from where he’d been repeatedly hitting it on the table to smirk at Calum and ask, “Have a lot of experience with couples’ costumes, do you?”

Luckily, Calum has finally found the colander, so he opts to ignore the question and just leave the kitchen entirely.

When he gets back upstairs, Michael’s in his room, unabashedly checking himself out in the mirror that’s on the back of the closet door. “Yeah, yeah, your anime character of the year looks great, now get out and let me get ready.”

Michael scoffs, “Get ready, as if you’re even doing anything,” but moves towards the door anyway.

Michael’s right, the costume is ridiculously easy to throw together, and two minutes later, they’re both out the door, walking across Fraternity Row to get to the Sig Nu house, where the music is already blaring and strobe lights throw red, then green, then blue shadows across everyone’s faces. On his way to the kitchen to grab a drink, he sees Niall and Harry walk into the house, holding hands and laughing together, so he assumes that their fight has blown over as quickly as all of their other fights always seem to.

He sees a few different trays of shots and decides he might as well take one to get the night started off right. After, he realizes that he probably shouldn’t grab a beer now, Mali’s rule about sticking to one color of booze for the night ringing in his head, so he settles for filling up a Solo cup with whatever glow in the dark gin concoction is in all the punch bowls. He wouldn’t put it past the Sig Nus to poison the drink on purpose, but it tastes relatively normal, so he grabs another cup for Michael and attempts to leave the kitchen, steering around the couple sloppily making out in the doorway.

It’s harder to spot Michael than it usually is, considering that at least half the people at the party are wearing some type of wig, but Calum eventually makes his way back over to him. He’s talking to Niall and Harry, and they both offer him a smile before continuing on with the conversation. Once that reaches a lull, Niall leans closer to Calum and says, “Mate, you didn’t need to lie to me about couples’ costumes.”

Calum has no idea what Niall is talking about, so he shakes his head and asks, “What are you talking about?”

Niall cackles, and Harry turns to look at him adoringly before going back to talking to Michael, and Calum is more confused than ever. Niall grabs his shoulder and spins him around and points in the direction of a clump of people. “You’re salt and he’s pepper, right? That’s such an obvious couples’ costume, although you two do seem to have a bit of a disconnect on how much effort you put in. That guy really went all out. And dude, why haven’t you told us that you have a boyfriend? You know we’d want to know about that, give him the Sig Pi seal of approval and all that. Wait. Unless he’s a Sig Nu, in which case, I don’t want to know because I’d probably have to kick you out. That’s a joke, by the way.”

Calum barely has the presence of mind to mumble, “He’s not my boyfriend,” before crossing the room to get to the guy in the hyper-realistic pepper grinder costume.

The guy smiles as Calum approaches, and despite the costume covering most of his body, Calum can tell that he’s cute. “Why so salty?” Pepper Guy greets, the sunshiney smile still on his face.

Calum smirks and replies, “Maybe I just need some more spice in my life.” Pepper Guy laughs, and just like everything else about him, it’s cute, and Calum wants to hear it again. “I’m Calum, by the way.”

“Ashton. Nice to meet you, man.”

Calum leans a little closer so that it’s easier to hold a conversation over the loud music and asks, “What’s the deal with the super realistic pepper grinder costume?”

Ashton makes a strange noise, somewhere between a laugh and a groan, and says, “I got it off some random sketchy website, but it was supposed to be a chess piece. Something clearly went wrong somewhere in production, and my friend Luke said that I might as well sharpie a “P” onto it and just go with it.”

Calum makes a noise of agreement, mind stuck on a dumb idea. Before he can reconsider, he sends Michael a quick text that says if u’ve already taken over as dj, can u play that come grind w me song? and a few seconds later, he hears the opening notes and grins.

“Hey, Ashton?”

“Yeah?” Ashton replies, as realization slips across his face.

Right in time with the singer’s voice, Calum says, “Come grind with me,” and he laughingly pulls Ashton towards the makeshift dance floor. Neither of them can really dance, so it’s a mess of laughter and limbs flopping around, but Calum feels an unmistakable electricity between them too, and once the song is over, they stay for the next few, enraptured by each other. When they finally exhaust themselves with all the laughing and mock-twerking, Ashton asks Calum if he wants a refill, and when Calum nods, he grabs his hand and starts pulling him towards the kitchen.

Once they’re there, Calum goes for another serving of the glow in the dark punch, which is steadily dimming as the glow sticks run out of light. Since that’s really the only light source in the kitchen, Calum doesn’t see Ashton until he’s turning around and Ashton is right in front of him, reaching around him for a cup. Calum’s kind of trapped with his back against the counter, Ashton’s pepper grinder costume tall enough to really block out the view of the rest of the party, and the world narrows, all of it contained in where their eyes connect, and then, after Calum has safely set his drink back on the counter, that narrow point expands just a bit to where their mouths land on each other’s. The colander gets knocked off Calum’s head as he lifts himself up to sit on the counter, wrapping his legs around Ashton’s waist to pull him closer, as close as he can possibly get him.

Ashton’s sucking a mark into Calum’s neck when Calum has his first coherent thought of the past few minutes and pulls back, breathlessly asking “Wait, wait, you’re not a Sig Nu, are you?” fully expecting the answer to be no.

Ashton steps back a little too, and it takes him a second to register the question before he groans, “Of course you’re a fucking Sig Pi, that’s the only explanation that makes sense for me never seeing you anywhere before. You’re too hot for me to not notice otherwise.”

Calum flushes and mentally curses out whatever idiots had started the rivalry between Sig Nu and Sig Pi before he grabs his stupid colander off the ground and gives Ashton an awkward wave goodbye.

Once he’s out of the kitchen, he quickly glances around in search of Michael, and when he can’t immediately find him, he just gives up and leaves entirely. Fuck Sig Nu.

He spends most of the next day bitching about his hangover, and then, a few hours later, bitching about his hangover while helping to set up the house for that night’s party.

He doesn’t really have much more of a costume for tonight, throwing on a gray shirt and sharpie-ing some whiskers on his face. Michael takes pity on him and makes him a headband with an approximation of what they both think mouse ears are, and Calum is mildly entertained by going up to everyone and saying, “I’m a mouse, duh.”

His heart’s really not in the right place to party tonight, which is probably breaking the cardinal rule of being in a frat, so he sticks close to Michael, who has taken over the role of DJ, once again. Zayn from Alpha Sig strolls over after about half an hour, devil horns askew, and quietly says to Calum, “Cat and mouse, huh? Didn’t think you had it in you, Hood, that’s proper cute. Not as cute as me and Lou, mind you, but still, I respect the effort.”

Calum is reluctant to look up and see who he’s accidentally matching with today, because, with his luck, it’s probably another guy from Sig Nu. When he does eventually look up, he immediately makes eye contact with Ashton, who happens to be walking by, dressed in all black and with whiskers sharpie’d onto his face too. Calum wants to bang his head into a wall because the universe clearly hates him if it’s having him match with Ashton again. Even beyond that, Ashton looks so good out of the stupid pepper grinder and in all black that Calum wants to make out with him again.

Ashton is clearly having similar thoughts when he gestures Calum over and leads them towards a little pocket of quiet space in one of the lesser used hallways.

Calum really wants to hook his thumb into one of Ashton’s belt loops, so he does, as Ashton looks him up and down a few times. “Is the mouse costume your way of telling me you want me to chase you?”

Calum murmurs, “Shut up,” before leaning in to kiss him, frat rivalry be damned. It’s just as good as it was the night before, maybe even more so, now that the pepper costume isn’t in their way. At this point, there’s no denying the chemistry. It can’t be blamed on being drunk since Calum’s been nursing the same beer all night, and the part of his brain that’s protesting against being this close to a Sig Nu is getting smaller and smaller as he and Ashton continue to kiss.

They stay in that hallway for the rest of the night, eventually sliding down to sit on the ground, legs pressed together, sharing stupid stories about their respective frats. Calum’s surprised when the music shuts off because it feels like it’s only been an hour at most, that’s how easy it is to talk to Ashton. Ashton heaves himself up and reaches both hands down to help Calum up, too.

“I don’t think there’s any way you can match your costume to mine tomorrow, but I’ll come find you anyways,” Ashton says, as he leaves Calum with a kiss on the cheek.

Calum’s too wired to sleep much, so he opts to help clean up the house instead, and that takes up enough of his day that when nighttime rolls around, he’s stood staring at his closet without a costume idea for the third time in as many days. After ten minutes of consideration, he digs through one of his drawers to pull out the fake vampire fangs that he had somehow remembered to bring with him, and he goes down the hall to ask Jack to put some fake blood on his mouth and neck. Jack always goes all out for Halloween.

Once he’s at the party, he doesn’t have to wait long to find Ashton, who looks incredibly good in his werewolf costume. There’s fake blood on him too, which is really the only way their costumes could be understood to be matching, or so Calum thinks. Tonight, Jack and Alex are the ones to tease him, “You know what, I agree. Jacob and Edward should have ended up together, Bella was boring as shit.”

Calum’s really not bothered by the comments at all, so much so that he’s already thinking of couples’ costumes ideas for next year when he finds his way over to Ashton and whispers, “Let’s get out of here.”

“Are you trying to make a move on me? I’m a respectable Sigma Nu, I don’t know if I can allow that.”

Calum laughs and tugs him out the door, “Told you I wanted some more spice in my life.”

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punkscowardschampions · 3 years

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Rio & Liam

Rio: I still can’t believe all that mess just happened

Rio: I swear to God my friends aren’t usually that trash like… what the fuck

Liam: it was unbelievable, are you ok

Rio: Like not at all but there’s nothing you can do

Rio: and you’ve already done loads more than I could ask, so don’t worry

Rio: This has really blindsided me, I’d never have expected this from her

Liam: sometimes you don’t know people how you think you do, or you did but they change on you into somebody else

Rio: So true

Rio: I never knew her, clearly

Rio: and she didn’t know me if she thought I was ever going to take her side over my family, was that the plan?

Rio: I genuinely do not get why she did this, tbh

Liam: she probably wasn’t planning further ahead than getting your other mate to take her side, she did things without thinking when I knew her

Rio: Who in their right mind would take her side

Rio: even without the full story

Liam: I dunno, I could be looking at it wrong and what she wanted was for all this to come out

Rio: Now I’m just worried there’s something seriously wrong with her

Rio: it’s not normal, no shit but

Rio: there has to be something going on to drive her to this, right?

Liam: if it’s a cry for help, getting this many other people involved and doing it tonight is a weird twist

Rio: It’s fucked, on so many levels I can’t even get into

Rio: Poor Edie

Rio: Is she mad at me now?

Liam: you don’t have to worry about Edie, she saw what Lex was like before this, she’s a good judge of who people are underneath whatever they put across

Rio: at least one of us is

Rio: I just don’t want her thinking I was out to ruin her night or make it about me and my friends’ bullshit

Rio: I was trying to do the opposite, draw a bigger crowd, you know

Liam: she understands where you were coming from, and it’s like you said, the two of us are in a bubble, I’m not gonna let anything ruin her night or switch up what it’s about

Rio: I’m really glad

Rio: At least that good still came from tonight

Rio: she doesn’t need to feel involved with all this Lexie business, it’s definitely about me, not Edie and you, I can see that now

Liam: I’d be a dick when you’re still going through it if I said I was buzzing we’re both out of it but I was questioning when it started if it was a bit about me, and her, I dunno what I could or would do if Lexie was, like, in love with me or something

Rio: But perfectly valid, this is a shit show

Rio: You don’t need to worry about her, she’s not going to come anywhere near me or mine ever again

Rio: it’s a betrayal beyond what she said in the text, and she knows that

Liam: she don’t worry me, and you don’t have to worry about anything but what she’s trying to involve you in

Rio: Oh we’re done

Rio: now I know she can’t fuck with me any more

Liam: loads of good came out of tonight then

Rio: I suppose that’s true

Rio: it doesn’t feel like that right now but hey

Liam: being done with her shite is gonna feel better in the long run

Rio: Sorry, I am not trying to dump this on you

Rio: that’s how I got here

Liam: Edie’s not mad at you but she would be at me if I just dipped on her sister in the middle of this

Rio: I appreciate that you took the time to do the digging

Rio: can I ask how you went about it?

Liam: not if you’re asking bc you wanna do more on her, that’s not being done or gonna make you feel better

Rio: Oh, no, it’s not about her

Rio: It’s for personal reasons

Liam: if you don’t know what you’re doing you’re gonna end up alerting the person you’re looking into before you find out what you wanna know

Rio: and it’s not something you can teach me?

Rio: I’m not a totally technophobic 👵 I swear

Liam: I don’t even know what you’re looking for

Rio: If Lexie had done more to me, behind the scenes, how could I find out if it was her

Liam: you’d know bc she can’t cover her tracks, it was easy for me to find the things I did

Rio: you don’t think she could keep it up then

Rio: yeah, that’s probably true

Liam: I don’t know, maybe if she wanted this to blow up as fast as it did and didn’t want something else to

Rio: She’s shot herself in the foot if it was her

Rio: anyway

Rio: I still feel bad, I should make it up to Edie

Liam: we could be giving her too much credit or not enough

Liam: Edie meanwhile deserves full credit for how the show went

Rio: I’m going to take her on an actual decent night out

Rio: you’re invited too, of course

Liam: thanks, if she wants me there, I’ll be there

Rio: We could go [somewhere bouj and your vibe] next weekend

Liam: where 😏

Liam: now I’ve searched it, yeah, alright, she’ll feel 👑 going there

Rio: Right?

Rio: I know it was technically your birthday but a girl can never feel like a 👑 too much

Rio: I’ll take her shopping first too but you don’t have to come to that bit, don’t worry 😉

Liam: wouldn’t be the first time I’ve waited outside a fitting room with a bag or the extra clothes they won’t let you take in

Rio: Bless

Rio: sisters are good training for girlfriends, for sure

Rio: I went out with a guy who had like all brothers and he was hopeless

Liam: my ma’d claim it’s more to do with her, however much of me is well behaved

Rio: well of course, that goes without saying

Rio: you aren’t a mummy’s boy type though, are you? 🤴

Rio: ‘cause I hadn’t even thought to warn her about that possibility yet

Liam: you’re too late with any warnings now

Rio: god, don’t say that, sounds so 😬 like 😂

Liam: if she calls me a mammy’s boy when you ask her, I’ll see myself out, like

Rio: I highly doubt she’ll say anything negative about you

Liam: your ma didn’t order me out when I met her, but you can give me a clue if she was just being polite, yeah

Rio: She was as surprised as the rest of us

Rio: but she’s pretty chill, and you aren’t a serial killer, so you’re good on that one

Liam: bit soon to crack a joke at Lexie’s expense or yours about how we don’t all get caught doing what we shouldn’t

Rio: 😏

Rio: if my sister goes missing, I think I’ll be able to put 2x2 together on that one, babe

Liam: the boyfriend did it every time, no technological skill required to solve the case, only luminol and an awareness of toxic masculinity

Rio: no wonder my ma liked you if you came out with all that

Rio: that’s just her energy

Liam: liked could be a bit strong but I’ll work on it, I get that everyone’s not gonna be celebrating as hard as mine is

Rio: that’s so cute 😫

Rio: it’s sweet, no one’s hating now

Liam: it’s the looking older thing, putting me at a disadvantage one time, but she knows I’m not 24 or something crazy now

Rio: No offence, but it could be a lot worse

Rio: she’s gone around with some strange people 🥴😷

Rio: and yeah, you aren’t that much older, really, so along with what you clearly have in common

Rio: I see it

Liam: not gonna get offended you think I’m normal, it’s a massive asset when I’m going round being a huge criminal, clearly

Rio: Ha, is it

Rio: stop with your jokes I’m tryna be sincere 😅

Liam: stop being sincere, you’ve had a fucked up night and if you don’t 😂 you’ll be 😭 is the cliche

Rio: God, too real

Rio: How tragic of me

Liam: nobody’ll hear it from me 😂 or 😭

Rio: Cheers, like

Rio: I’ll go get another drink and toast being free/drown my sorrows

Liam: I’d offer but you could be 3 drinks in while I’m still waiting to be served

Rio: I look older too 💁‍♀️

Liam: 🥂

Rio: I’d offer to get you guys some but I can’t 👀 yous and I’m sure you’re gonna go do something better now

Liam: I'll think of something to put the spotlight back on Edie and keep her feeling special until it's your turn

Rio: 🥰

Rio: Good job

Liam: she could teach you how to find out if Lexie did mess with you at all before, instead of giving a stranger like me access to your devices

Rio: Ah, I don’t wanna worry her

Rio: I’ll just forget about it, it’s no big

Liam: is it that worrying

Rio: Maybe I’m just over-protective, I’m sure that’s what she’d say

Liam: yeah, honestly, but I wouldn’t say it’s a bad thing

Rio: She’ll thank me when she’s not a crazy teen

Liam: probably true

Rio: It sounds like wishful thinking, I know

Rio: but I’ve been there

Liam: wishful thinking you ain’t a crazy teen no more

Rio: Charming! 😂

Liam: not a 👵 you wanted me to know

Rio: If I am you are, and you want me to know you’re not too old for her soooo 🤫

Liam: you already admitted it could be loads worse

Rio: You aren’t some sleazy ‘producer’ who pretends you don’t know how old she really is

Rio: or some wannabe rockstar

Liam: unwishful thinking or did it happen

Rio: She’s not stupid, thank God

Rio: just nightmare scenarios that would be way more worrying if she remotely was

Liam: it’s that you’ve been afraid to come to her shows before now then

Rio: Pretty much

Rio: and idk

Rio: contrary to how it seems, I try to let them have their own things

Liam: I get your motives

Rio: If she wanted me there, she’d ask, wouldn’t she?

Liam: if it’s that simple between you two

Rio: Simple ain’t the word

Liam: which sounds like her coming out with what she do or don’t want ain’t likely

Rio: She’s been vocal about what she doesn’t want but I can’t do that for her, that’s the problem

Liam: confrontation where you don’t expect anything to change is easier than getting vulnerable over something you could have, or wish you could, but dunno if you’ll get

Liam: her music matters to her, but you playing along and 👏 bc you’re her big sister isn’t enough

Rio: I know it does, doesn’t she know that

Liam: she thinks you don’t take it serious

Rio: That’s not true

Liam: to her it is or she wouldn’t have told me and I wouldn’t be telling you

Rio: I don’t know why I’ve said any of this to you

Liam: there’s some anonymity as you don’t know me, but I’m kinda invested so you’re not just venting to someone who isn’t

Rio: Honestly, forget about it

Rio: I can talk to my own sister when I need to, we’re fine

Liam: yeah, but you can let me help too

Rio: What can you do about it?

Liam: you’re here bc I invited you

Rio: She could’ve said no

Liam: and she didn’t, she said it was a good idea

Rio: yeah

Rio: me and Edie are fine

Rio: despite any efforts from ex-friends or otherwise

Liam: nobody’s crediting Lexie to that level

Rio: what are you saying, Liam?

Rio: if there’s a problem you know about, then just say

Liam: if it was about her it’d be over, it’s you saying it ain’t simple between you and Edie, I’m not saying anything

Rio: It never is, is it

Rio: were things simple with your sister?

Liam: yeah, a terminal illness is gonna make things pretty simple, like

Rio: Oh, I would’ve imagined the opposite

Liam: not for a relationship dynamic, she gets what she wants

Rio: I guess so

Rio: well, obviously, it can’t work like that long-term, sorry to be blunt

Rio: but I’m not telling you anything you don’t know

Liam: I wasn’t telling you to follow the example of me and my sister

Rio: I know

Rio: Some things can’t be fixed, that’s the truth

Liam: don’t mean you throw round a statement like that and stop trying to

Rio: All I do is try

Rio: you don’t know

Liam: I know Edie’s worth the effort

Rio: and so do I

Liam: you’ve got time and loads of chances to keep on trying is the truth

Rio: Look, it’s not a secret I’m dating our cousin, so I know you know that

Rio: it’s also not a secret that plenty of people, Edie being one of them, are not fans of that

Rio: I can’t change any of that, that’s something we’re all going to have to live with

Liam: there’s stuff you can change though that’d make things better than they are

Rio: I’m not doing anything else wrong

Rio: in her eyes, anyway

Rio: that’s where the problem starts and stops

Liam: if you say so

Rio: You’ve known her five minutes

Rio: I really don’t need a lecture when I’ve known her her whole life

Liam: I wouldn’t keep it this vague if I was putting you in your place instead of trying to spare your feelings

Rio: Spare my feelings? Like she hasn’t said it all a million times worse? 😂

Rio: worry about what you know about her after-all, but thanks

Liam: I’ve got no worries about her

Rio: ‘course not

Rio: look, I sincerely mean drop it

Rio: it’s been an intense night and a weird one on my end, let’s act like we left it there, yeah

Liam: you not wanting my help don’t mean I’m retracting the offer, it’s still there

Rio: You’re dating her, you don’t need to impress me, like

Liam: it’s about her, not you

Rio: You don’t reckon she’s better off without me then

Liam: I wouldn’t admit to it, isolating someone from their family and mates is a huge red flag

Rio: 😏 Encouraging as ever that you just bring that shit up in lieu of nothing

Liam: you brought it up

Rio: no I didn’t

Liam: when you asked me if I think she’d be better off without you

Rio: that’s hardly accusing you of being a psycho abuser

Liam: it’d be a toxic thought for me to have, especially bc I’ve not known her long enough for you

Rio: you haven’t known her long enough to have a go at me on the matter, that’s what I meant by that

Liam: I’m not having a go, I’m having a convo you started and I think is worth keeping going, for Edie’s sake

Rio: I’m not mad at you

Rio: so agreed

Liam: she’s already helped me loads with shite I’m struggling with, I wanna help her too, if I can

Rio: that’s nice

Rio: genuinely

Rio: you clearly care, I don’t have to worry about that

Liam: we did just meet but everyone’s gotta start somewhere

Rio: of course

Rio: you know people usually don’t go this fast though, I’ve not just imagined that up

Rio: most lads ‘refuse to put a label on it’

Liam: most lads think they’ve got as much time as they want to fuck about, my brain’s not wired for wasting it

Rio: I get that

Rio: but you don’t have to skip ahead, miss the fun parts, you know

Rio: like, you don’t feel forced, right

Liam: what do you think she’s rushing me into or vice versa

Rio: I know our experiences shape us, and we have no control over that, trust me, I do

Rio: but idk, it’d make me sad to think you end up doing things you didn’t actually want to, or miss out on the little things, for the sake of fitting it all in, in pursuit of those milestones

Rio: you know

Rio: neither of you deserves that

Liam: you’ve described the opposite of what we’re both doing, it’d be funny if I’d never done any of it before or I was pretending to you I hadn’t, but I’m not with her

Liam: I want it to be different and she knows it is

Rio: If that’s what you both want

Rio: then that’s all good with me

Liam: after that’s what Lexie did, I fully expected Edie to want me to do stuff I wasn’t down to, but that was before I really knew her

Rio: What did Lexie do?

Liam: you know how she can be, it was intense, and asking too much of me

Rio: that’s fucked up of her

Rio: are you okay, did you tell anybody?

Liam: what would I have said, she fancies me too hard, I had bigger things going on, it barely registered until I said about it to Edie and she was upset for me

Rio: She shouldn’t have gone out with you

Rio: even if she thought she was doing a nice thing, she clearly wasn’t mature enough to even attempt to go about it in a good way

Liam: I shouldn’t have agreed to it, she wasn’t forcing that bit, it was on me

Rio: You were grieving, bad decisions are expected

Liam: nobody was mature enough back then, it was ages ago

Rio: so young

Liam: too late now to use the rushing things chat on her

Rio: I don’t think she’s been an evil bitch the whole time

Rio: she got it wrong back then

Rio: but this time she’s crossed a line

Liam: and got caught out for it

Rio: yep

Rio: oh well, at least it’s over

Rio: even if I never work out what I did to make her do that

Liam: it’s clearly a her thing, whatever her damage is, not your fault somehow you could point at and say yeah there’s what I did

Rio: yeah

Rio: I think I’d rather I could know, what it was about

Rio: that over thinking she did it just ‘cos

Liam: I could look again, see if there’s more to find, but it ain’t gonna be a folder called why

Rio: ha

Rio: nah, you’re alright

Rio: I can move on without it

Liam: drowning your sorrows or doing a cheers, wasn’t it

Rio: 🥂

Liam: I can see you

Liam: but we're gonna head off, direct from your sister is she already feels high

Liam: I'll pick her up if you wanna 👋 [and do pick her up before Rio can answer lol]

Rio: I saw your ma commented, are you going home?

Liam: not straight back

Rio: okay, well have fun

Liam: and you

Rio: 🧡🧡

Rio: and tell her I’m sorry, yeah?

Rio: and that she was really good

Liam: yeah, I'll let her know

Rio: thanks, Liam

Liam: she'll wanna hear it

Rio: I hope so

Liam: and about [wherever they are going on this double date] too

Rio: convince her if not

Rio: she’ll 🧡 it when she gets there

Liam: both of us getting to dress up will have her 😁

Rio: absolutely

Rio: I’ve not completely forgotten who she is, like

Liam: I was hyping up your plan not calling you out as being blackout drunk this fast

Rio: you know what I mean

Rio: blackout is now the mood but hey

Liam: don’t let Lexie get to you

Rio: I’ll do my best 🙃

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feckin-zicons · 4 years

Text

Squids, Dancing, and Dirty thoughts... Not necessarily in that order or all at once.

Apparently people like this? I am more confused than Liam is in this chapter. Which you know, makes sense bc this character only exists in my head, but also doesn’t at all bc I have no idea what goes on in there most of the time. Anyway this is for Zayn, Oxford commas, @stanmedusa who pointed out Zayn was also an Oxford comma stan, @redyellowberry, and their anon to started this mess. Also please imagine Zayn with his current blue hair, but also with his long Aladdin hair bc that’s what I’ve been doing and oh holy gods do I need that to happen. Please. Hair gods make it happen I’m begging

Same warnings as ever its 4AM, this is much longer than planned, and I have no interest in editing, making it sound coherent, or good. No, I don’t know about the squids either.

Parts 1&2 here

Liam would like to point out while he's not a stranger to feeling confused, he's still having trouble pinpointing how exactly he got to be Dance Mistress Irina Alinova's personal bitch.

Ever since he accidentally interrupted one of the dance practises while looking for a missing prop for Director Corden, more and more of them started disappearing only to show up in the basement. No one else was interested in facing the Dance Mistresses' wrath, but Liam didn't mind the yelling. As long as Mistress Alinova didn't start throwing things, he figured he was safe enough. After all, it gave him the chance to see the blue haired ballerino again.

Zayn Malik, the god in mortal form, the prima ballerino, the prettiest man Liam had ever seen, who had no idea who Liam even was.

Liam had it bad.

Liam had it so bad.

Liam had it so bad he tripped over thin air, spilled hot coffee over himself, and walked into a door when he thought he saw him at a Costas with Louis. The man he saw wasn't Zayn, thank fuck, but the entire sequence of events did give Louis more ammunition to tease him with. Stupid pretty boys with long blue hair and piercings sent from hell just to ruin Liam's life. Yeah, he was a goner.

Louis dragged out the whole sorry story after Liam texted him about spiking his lunch and laughed himself sick knowing just how much of a mess Liam became around people he was interested in. They still didn't talk about Danielle. Which was a good thing considering the end of that relationship had Liam pretty much swearing off women for the rest of his life. No pussy was worth that mess. Dick though? Liam was willing to take that chance on Zayn, even if asking Harry didn't give him much information.

According to Harry, Zayn had been around for a few years but mostly kept to himself or the other dancers. There was something about him throwing a fit a few weeks before Liam showed up. Upset about being forced to learn the choreography for Winston's show when it was just going to fail on opening night like it always did.

Liam thought he had a point, considering. He didn't know what bananas, ballet, and really bad rapping had to do with King James VI but didn't want to voice that in front of the man playing the gay king. No one dared fire Zayn, considering he kept the whole theatre afloat, but it also didn't make many actors happy with him. Especially not Mizz Wendy Williams, who played Marie Antoinette in the play. Again, Liam had a lot of questions he didn't dare ask out loud. It's not like he was ever good at history, so it was entirely possible the two lived in the same time period. Or it was some sort of allegory that went over his head like the aristocrats wearing banana suits did.

Louis always found his stories about his placement hilarious, but even that one had him wondering if there wasn't some sort of gas leak in their apartment. It wouldn't have been the first time, or the second. Most likely, it was the theatre that was growing some sort of mold that caused insanity if breathed in. Some of the things Liam had been forced to clean in the past few weeks were unspeakable.

But even that probably couldn't explain Zayn Malik. Nothing could explain that sort of beauty and talent. Or those hands... and thighs... and fingers. Ung. Liam would love to get up close and personal with all of him.

Either way, Liam had just been cleaning the mirrors in the practice room, humming along to Brandy and Monica on the radio, wondering if Niall was actually going to come down and help him instead of hiding away like a coward. Again. By the second verse, he'd given up trying not to sing along, not expecting anyone to come by. It was late, the dancer's practise long over, and Winston left screaming over an hour ago. Liam would have done a recce and skipped out on the last half hour if one of the managers wasn't sticking around still. Piers Morgan, an absolute cunt who treated the lads on probation like hardened criminals, and he was the prison warden. Despite, you know, most of the lads on summary probation, and Liam’s arson charge being the most serious crime out of all of them.

Anyway, the last thing he's expecting is for anyone to come in while he's singing about the boy being his, rolling his body to the beat. Which is probably how he ends up tripping over himself when he notices Zayn leaning up against the open door, watching him. Watching him, in bright, tight, teal dance tights (were dance tights usually blue? They should be) that looked nice with his hair and complimented the gold tones of his skin. The skin he could see a lot of. Because he was shirtless. Because he was shirtless and had a lot more tattoos than Liam realized. Tattoos Liam wanted to bite. Not hard enough to make a mark or anything, that would be sacrilegious, but enough to make him make a sound. God, Liam hoped he was a moaner. Not that he thought he had a chance with Zayn or anything, but it would be a shame if Zayn was the type that stayed quiet during sex.

Except he wasn't being quiet now, he was talking. And Liam was staring at him, like an idiot, not paying attention. Because he was an idiot.

Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck, why did this always happen to him?

"Er, what?" Liam asked, desperately hoping he didn't sound as stupid as he felt right then, which was pretty fucking stupid. He probably looked even stupider than he felt and ruined his chances at ever-

"I asked if you were almost done? Was planning on practising more tonight," Zayn answered him.

Zayn, Zayn Fucking Malik, answered him, and he was still staring at him like an idiot. Shit Liam say something.

"Pretty"

Not that you idiot.

"What?" Zayn asked, looking confused and adorable.

Oh god, he was precious. Was that a smile? Was he smiling at him? Liam? Oh no.

"Pretty much, I meant. Pretty much done," Liam replied, wishing the ground would swallow him whole. "Just one more mirror, and I'll be out of your way."

There, those were words, sentences even. Now all he had to do was act normal and finish cleaning. Easy.

"So, Brandy and Monica, right? You like R'n'B then?" Zayn asked him, walking into the room with a heavy dance bag, setting it off to the side.

Liam felt himself flushing as he turned back around to finish cleaning the mirror so Zayn wouldn't see. "Yeah," he answered, trying not to peek at Zayn bending over as he rifled through his belongings.

Those legs, Fuck. Liam wondered what it'd feel like to have them around his-

"I didn't expect that," Zayn said, drawing Liam out of his filthy thoughts, and making him turn back around.

"What?"

"No, I- I didn't mean it in a bad way or anything. I guess I just expected you to listen to more rock?"

Liam was pretty sure he missed half of the conversation somewhere. Was Zayn blushing? He was so pretty. Wow.

"No, I like everything," he replied dumbly. They were still talking about music, right? That would make sense. Why was Zayn talking to him again? God, Liam couldn't handle this. "Do you like it? The music, I mean."

"Yeah, grew up listening to ‘em. My older sister was obsessed with Monica. So... Who's your favourite artist?"

"Artist? Oh uh, I've been listening to a lot of Post Malone? How about you? What do you- who do you listen to?"

"Post Malone's sick, mate. I like most music I guess, but I've been listening to a lot of The Weekend."

"Have you heard his new album?"

"Yeah, it's sick! Do you-" Zayn was cut off by Niall running in out of breath. The bright orange tee that labelled him as one of the community service workers was wet and stained black. Actually.. all of him was soaked and stained black. Was that ink?

"Hey, Payno, are you done yet because we have a situation upstairs," Niall gasped out, hands on his knees, looking like he'd just seen his life flash before his eyes.

"What the hell happened to you?"

"There's a squid stick in the toilet."

"There's a what?"

"A Squid! A giant fucking squid in the toilet!"

Liam blinked in confusion, trying to wrap his head around why there would be a squid anywhere near the theatre let alone one of the toilets. Did Corden want live animals in his show now? Or Winston. It could be either of them.

"Why do you need me?" he asked. "I don't know anything about squids."

Niall sounded like he was at the end of his rope when he replied, "You know something about plumbing at least!"

"Not a lot! Enough to keep the water on at home, but I'm not a plumber."

"Doesn't matter, we need your help, Ashtons gone to find some butter," Niall said, stomping back around, leaving behind a trail of watery black ink. "We'll meet you upstairs when you're done."

"Wait, what do you need butter for?!" Liam called after him but didn't get a reply. Butter? How was butter going to help?

A muffled giggle distracted Liam from his thoughts, and he was abruptly reminded Zayn was still in the room. Zayn, might as well be a god, was in the room, and Liam was just talking about squids in toilets.

Why him?

"I guess I should go see what they need help with?" Liam tried to say without sounding... Well, he wasn't sure what the proper response was in this situation or how to react to it.

Zayn smiled at him, and oh. How was it possible he looked even more attractive now?

Liam thinks Zayn said something about the other lads needing him and it sounding urgent, but really, Liam was in a daze until he also got a face full of ink... From another squid in an entirely different toilet.

What the fuck.

Louis was never going to let him live this down.

Really? Squids???

#yeah idk #my fic #ballerino au #genuinely have questions for myself #why is it always crack #ngl I'd be interested in seeing Winstons 'historical' play and Corden's musical #if only to know what the hell my own brain is coming up with #the globus theatre is its own warning #lmao #Ziam au #Ziam fic #idiot boys with crushes #Liam is a simp

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