#anyways sorry for rambling in your tags op

[bangchansrose]

don't apologize omfg i am obsessed with your tags

if my boyfriend started leading a group called the new avengers that worked with the government (and included the government appointed captain america) after i fought alongside the former captain america for the belief that the avengers should not work with the government due to fear of limitation and corruption AND was chosen by the former captain america to be the next captain america, i too would be fucking pissed

[mizuribbons]

jessie and james are literally the most gender characters in anime history

I lay awake at night crying knowing ill never serve cunt on their level

[irregularcollapse]

For the wip game please can you share more Christmas fic I know it’s not on The game but if you wouldn’t mind that would be so nice but if not that’s okay could you share some meat fic part 2

Hello anon thank you for the interest! It's so nice of you <3

I've shared some snips of the Christmas fic, but I don't remember if I have a tag for it... I need to search my own blog lmao

I wasn't expecting to finish it before Christmas, because I definitely didn't start it in time and am bad at fake deadlines, and now it's February... it's fine, time isn't real.

I don't think I've talked about the ~~**~*concept*~**~~ because I wasn't sure I'd be able to finish it, but things aren't that deep! It's just fanfic, there's no secret! Hahaha okay so:

It's loosely based on the film The Family Man (2000), which in itself is a loose A Christmas Carol-slash-It's a Wonderful Life riff. The premise is that Bucky, a high-powered film exec living a lonely life and holding everyone at bay with a lot of "I'm fine"s, is yeeted into a version of his life where he never broke up with his college boyfriend Gale. It's an excuse for me to write a lot about mental illness guilt and self-victimisation, and the catharsis of accepting love and help from people who care about you and your mental state! I actually have ~15k of it written up so far, but I'm loathe to guesstimate what the final wordcount could be. I have a plot outline but it's also slightly intense for me to work on because it is. Incredibly personal lmao

It is also a lot for @angelfruittree because when I said I wanted to do an AU of this movie (I watched it for the first time last year) she said it was an all-time fave of hers and I just! Really want to do it justice! Bucky working in film (in both lives 👀) was her idea <3

This one is also featuring The Egan Sisters™ who I invented for my time slip fic, but are phlegmativerse canon now 😂😂😂

Jean "Bean" Egan is Bucky's eldest sister, and has very much been put into the position of being expected to be a third parent: eldest daughters are forced to grow up too fast, but youngest siblings aren't trusted to grow up (especially when they're mentally ill). Bucky is given a glimpse of a version of Bean who does trust him, and it throws him through a bit of a loop:

“My little gremlins ready?”

“Uh—No. They’re eating toast. Sorry.”

“Ope, you didn’t have to feed ‘em! There’s that iHop near the station.” There’s nothing in her tone but a bright kind of harried-ness, like how their mom used to be a lot of the time. None of the clipped impatience that Bucky gets from Bean more and more; she’s still smiling. “Hi, how are ya?” She cranes up to kiss his cheek, fleeting and careless, and then she’s already bustling past him in the direction of the kitchen, working at the toggles on her coat.

“Bean.”

“Yup?” She stops her charging, turning back to face him clear-eyed and happy, flicking her hair out of the way as she shucks her coat. Brown Egan curls, just like Maisie’s (just like Bucky’s), wild and escaping from under her pom-pom beanie. Lines round her eyes creased by her smile, not drooping with exhaustion.

“You let your kids stay with me?”

It isn’t quite what he wanted to ask, or what he wanted to try to tell her. It comes out all parched and strained. Bean cocks her head, tutting a little.

Anyway this is more than you asked sorry bye thanks for the interest again 🫣🫣🫣 I think I've rambled too much to waffle about meatfic too hfhfhffff sorry

[isan0rt]

@lightandfellowship re: your tags on this post (just to kind of bring this out to a different post).

I was thinking about making a separate post to expand on those tags anyway because they were a little off topic to the op, but I was like, you know, it's that Xehanort was worse to the Dandelions than Luxu was, yes. But Luxu was supposed to be that callous to the Dandelions in the first place. He was supposed to think of them as tools and to just let whatever fucked up thing was supposed to happen to them just happen. And with anyone else he can, but he can't put his personal feelings aside enough to 'do what needs to be done' for this set of people alone.

But Xehanort can.

And I think that's really interesting when looking at Xehanort as the 'replacement Luxu.' Xehanort who, as observed by another post I don't have immediately to hand, speaks with MoM twice. Xehanort who is chosen by MoM and manipulated into doing his bidding the same way Luxu was, given the same coat and made the heir to Luxu's keyblade, Xehanort who actually is allowed to take action to bring the Keyblade War about and revive the Lost Masters while Luxu is only allowed to watch.

Actually I started this post with a different thesis ('Xehanort is able to put his personal feelings aside and be ruthless even where Luxu fails to follow his role') but writing that paragraph I've changed my mind actually. Because Luxu has basically no agency in this situation, whereas Xehanort does.

Like, both of them are assigned roles by their mentors but Xehanort isn't really given a road map about how to fulfill his role. He's being manipulated, sure, but he's also making choices himself all along. They're choices that are fucked up but he understands they're fucked up and is choosing them anyway because he strongly feels it's necessary for the greater good.

Luxu has been told these things are necessary for the greater good. He's been told what to do. He's been told to just watch and that he can never take action. He doesn't even have the illusion of agency that Xehanort, who is actively choosing to lean into his feeling that destiny is inevitable, does. What is that like, to live hundreds of years never having any sense of agency? For Luxu, helping the Dandelions is fucking up. It's doing what he knows he's not supposed to, what he's been told is against the Plan, but he has no agency and this is his little way of rebelling, even if this is, to us, the 'right' thing to do. There's a question of what actually is 'right' and 'wrong' here and whether Xehanort is a 'better Luxu' than Luxu for choosing to simply follow The Plan.

Also I'm rambling here but putting things together as I go, sorry to also expand on other tags on posts I reblogged from you lol, but like. Luxu also very clearly has Lucifer stuff going on, the same way Xehanort does, down to the name. Xehanort takes on the Satan imagery over time - but it was Luxu's first. And Luxu is the one who actually tried to rebel against his Creator by deviating from his role (only to watch) and intervening with the Union leaders.

The thing about angels is they are not, in Catholic traditions (I can't speak to other denominations) is that they are not supposed to have free will. Free will is for humans; angels only follow The Plan, with no agency or say in the matter. They're messengers and avatars created only to execute the will of God. The Foretellers seem to play this role, if you will, in relation to Master of Masters. He hands them roles to execute the plan he's already designed. If we're, in this analogy, considering Master of Masters to be in the role of 'god', both Ava and Luxu are ultimately fallen angels - they both question the will of their creator, both rebel - but Luxu rebelling was built into the plan. He is Lucifer, and Lucifer rebels, and so he was still allowed to come back to the fold at the end of kh3, having fulfilled his duty even considering his rebellion. He still had no agency in the end, even having done what he thought was exercising it by saving the Union leaders.

Anyway I'm just rambling on at this point and don't really have a conclusion to this but the whole interplay between Luxu and Xehanort, agency and servitude, angels and devils, light and dark, feels really compelling to me.

[spinjitsuburst]

IT REALLY DOES

it's like a trainwreck i can't look away from it it's honestly darker than things i usually read so i am having to tiptoe around some of the more detailed dark subjects but holy shit i need to know that jay's on a comfy couch in the monastery with a fuzzy blanket and some hot chocolate and his friends around him as far as his comfort level will allow and he's SAFE

also just like. an FYI since i've been screaming about it all night i'm using this post as a PSA please please PLEASE be careful if you decide to give to give it a read based on my reactions, it gets VERY very dark and discusses a lot of sexual assault and rape and it's not something i'd want to be like HEY EVERYONE GO READ IT you should only be reading it if you're an adult and can handle that level of dark content. there's no harm just being like hmm not my thing! and not reading it

I’ve been reading a very very very dark Skybound Fic all night and I feel slightly ill but I’m so so obsessed with literally every “how Jay’s lightning works” headcanon

[paper-cities]

op I am SCREAMING TO YOU ABOUT KILLUGON THEY ARE THE BRAINWORMS THE VOICES

Other than that I hope you understand how much the tags on your last kitty Killua post hurt me (and made me laugh, emotional rollercoaster love it)

Don't mind me I'm just going insane and I'd love to scream more at you but I NEED YOUR KG HEADCANONS SO WE CAN SCREAM TOGETHER

HI HELLO ANON!!! Ty for allowing me to break your heart w silly killugon animal au!!!!! I can fit SO MUCH hurt/comfort into these bad boys <33

Incoming rambling under the cut (I'm sorry)

I posted some general killugon hcs here but there are always more soooo:

-Alluka and Nanika bond with Gon super quick. Killua finds it incredibly charming.

-Everyone else knows Gon and Killua are meant to be for AGES before they realize it. It makes Leorio want to scream sometimes, but Kurapika holds him back because "they have to get together on their own time. No one should rush them."

-Gon with dimples, need I say more?

Also I'm obsessed with my silly animal au rn so here's some hcs for that too (sorry):

-I think in this AU animal features are rare and part of the reason Killua and Gon bond. Killua and Alluka/Nanika are the only Zoldycks to inherit their dad's animal features and the Zoldycks take this as part of the reason Killua needs to be the next heir.

-Killua's pupils dilate and he slow blinks like a cat at Gon sometimes. Gon is oblivious to what this means (i trust you/love you in cat speak). Someone points it out one day and Killua is ridiculously embarrassed bcus he doesnt realize hes doing it.

-Gon wags his tail so hard his whole bottom half shakes sometimes. Ofc hes hit his tail on many things (and people) leading to numerous injuries both to himself and others. After he gets it docked (partly due to injuries inflicted on him and the aforementioned injuries he gives himself) he basically just wags his whole butt when hes excited. Killua thinks its super cute but would never admit it.

-If they're apart Gon likes to carry something that smells like Killua (a shirt or jacket) because he's got a blood hound sense of smell. He finds it immensely comforting. Before they get together Gon makes up excuses about why he's doing it, after they're official he admits the truth and Killua feels like an idiot for not noticing sooner.

-Gon gets called guard dog by strangers sometimes because of how he protects Mito, then Killua, and eventually Alluka and Nanika too. Killua jokingly calls him a "good boy". It's meant to be patronizing, but totally gives Gon butterflies. He tries to play it off, but flushing cheeks and fierce wagging give him away every time.

-Play bite each other when wrestling as kids on their limbs. When they reunite as adults who dont know how to handle emotions they end up wrestling again and Gon bites Killua on the neck. They both get too flustered to keep fighting and make up excuses to stop and pretend like theyre totally not in love with each other because it's Very Normal And Very Not At All Romantic to leave bite marks on your friend.

ANYWAY IF YOU READ ALL THAT YOURE A TROOPER TY and ofc pls scream to me abt your hcs!!!!!!!

[eurydicees]

hi hello i just wanted to say your tags on that wicked post are so right and made me so happy to read thank you!!! <3 it’s so so interesting to look at how different elphabas each interpret the end of no good deed and how those choices all tie into visually cementing her as the wicked witch of the west / the influences of the wizard of oz and margaret hamilton! anyway also love your posts about fiyero !

hehe thank you i'm glad you enjoyed my rambling because i posted that and then went Oh that was So Much. so sorry op. but glad you liked it :p it's SOOOOO interesting to look at the physical acting choices that different elphabas make re: no good deed....and the influences of margaret hamilton are FASCINATING. i think about donna vivino's no good deed all the fucking time especially like she's one of my top elphabas because of the way she sings the squeal of "if that's ALL good deeds are" . like twisting the movements with brightness and hope from wizard and i into the classic "oh that's the wicked witch from wizard of oz" physical acting goddddddddd shakign my fist at the sky i love THEATRE!!!!!!

[lenny-rambles]

About nothing in particular, a bit of Zolu in general, and some fics here and there

Holy smokes, I've had a week. In between exams, my cat getting lost, more exams and work I haven't got the time to actually ramble about anything, which is pretty sad (to me).

HOWEVER.

This doesn't mean to suggest I didn't read anything at all. Oh no, you'd be greatly mistaken to assume that's the case. I devoured a lot of fics this week, in an attempt to release stress because my house was also inhospitable for some days. So, I decided to read and re-read some fics, because that's how I deal with my problems (that is to say, I don't).

It's very interesting to see how their relationship's been depicted through the years! Like, one of my favorite tags for them is "Devotion" (because that's SO them), and the tag's got 60 works, barely. And it was first used in 2019, for a romance fic. That's barely any time at all in OP time! I don't know why though, maybe everyone knew it but struggled to put it into words (like them). As in, everyone would assume right out of the bat that that's their dynamic. Or maybe not! You can never know with fandoms, the fact that Agenda Piece exists still surprises me.

Also, I've grown the habit of reading through an author's works rather than just searching with tags. Like, if there's a fic I really liked I'll go into their profile and read more. And almost every time they have more! It's always a thrill when they have like old works, it comes to show how much they've improved, and how their characterization also evolves with them!

One of my favorite examples of this, that I discovered this week, is the series Fantastic Idiots And Where To Find Them.

Title: Fantastic Idiots and Where To Find Them (series)

Author: Mir4le

Relevant Tags: magic school AU, ASL brothers (my beloved), Law, Zoro, first person POV, on going, maybe there are ships maybe not

Now, disclaimer from me. No one here's endorsing the terf's work as in "go read her stories, they are good", because they aren't. And giving her money in anyway is terrible (in my humble opinion), she poses a lot of terrible ideas for both Trans and Feminism Activism. I hate the woman, and her story is not even that good. She holds A LOT of unethical and incorrect social theories (like eugenics, ew) in her books, AND REFUSES to reconsider or anything. She thrives in the attention she gets from that, I'm sure. Sadly, nostalgia is a bitch, and her books where probably the first I read entirely in english, and through piracy, so I still have some sort of appreciation for them, as terrible works of fiction as they are.

The good news is that the setting is so unbelievably generic that you could say "generic witch society" and that would do just fine, so that's what I'm doing. It's a generic witch society boarding school AU. Ah, the thing. The fic's written in first person POV (sighs), so if that's no your cup of tea you should stay away. The narration improves, the POV never stops being first person. I'm not exactly a fan of first person POV, but I was looking for fic with Law in them, so I picked it up.

Now, the first few chapters where... an experience. They were the author's first work, and you could tell. I don't mean anything mean with that, it's just Difficult to pin the POV for me, so I struggled a bit. Nevertheless, the prompt was interesting enough to keep me going, even if I kinda rushed through some stuff (sorry). It was also noticeable how much the author liked the characters, and the story, even early on, so that also kept me going. Rarely a story loved that much doesn't improve on quality, both because the strive to be better for the story and all the practice they get by putting it out in the first place. So congrats and thank you to the author for your work, it paid off.

Now, another thing about the fic, I'm not exactly what you'd describe a Law fan. I like his story, it was OP most angsty backstory for a while in my opinion (before Kuma, oh Kuma), so that just drew me in. Sadly, it didn't get me like I wanted to. Maybe it's because I binged the anime in an unholy amount of time (another day I'll talk about that) but by the time we got the why of Law, I just wanted Dressrosa to be done. So while I appreciate his character, the anime just made me want to get over with it. All of that to say that I usually avoid fics with Law, because I just don't like him that much. But I stayed. For the potential this had.

And my staying paid off!!!! It was awesome to see another take on ASL, and adding Law to the mix, not through Luffy, but Ace and Sabo was Not something I was expecting! It is also one of the key factors as to why the fic is so entertaining, you keep trying to imagine how the relationships in canon will translate to the setting. I got a lot of them wrong, it keeps you guessing, I love it. The way it shows Law involuntarily warming up to Ace and Sabo is so good. It feels a lot like something 11 y/o Law would write in his diary, it's cute.

Plot-wise it isn't that strong in the first installment (even the author said so), so you are really looking out for character interactions rather than worldbuilding. So it delivers on that, a bit chopped here and there, but by the time you get to the final chapters (there are like, 5) it's way more dynamic.

Ah, I've run out of juice, all right speedrun.

The whole thing, plot and narration improves a lot. Getting to a point in the most recent chapters where I can say that the author nailed down at least Zoro's and Ace's POV to the t, I can't say for Law though, not my area of expertise.

Surprising to no one, I like the Zoro POV chapters best, because we get Strawhat crew, and Luffy and Zoro, and I really like them.

I like the professors and classes they teach they teach. Who is which head of house and all that, nice, very in character.

Whitebeard's kids are a thing here, and I love it, they are fantastic.

Oh, Robin in particular has a lot going for her in the fic, you should also stay for her, if you are a fellow Robin fan.

The shenanigans are AU typical, that's not bad at all, I like how much emphasis they give to pranks and all.

CORAZON IS ALIVE AND WELL, more beautiful things.

Idk, I wish I could tell you more but I kinda read the whole thing for the experience and enjoyed it a lot. Even if it's unfinished.

Oh well, I guess that's it.

Also, "When All the Embers Die" also updated, as well as the other Zoro fic from the same author. And "Treasures for your Treasure (The Pearls Pale in Your Eyes)" ALSO updated, a Zoro update (thanks author) to say the least. I might say some things, I might not, probably I will, once I'm out of this hell hole called midterms.

Anyways, if you read this far thank you very much. Please read the fics mentioned above, even if it's for the experience, they are wonderful stories.

[colettebronte]

Hi there! Any advice for making friends on here within the fandom?

Hey Nonny!

Thank you for the ask. So making friends here and in fandom in general . . . . . yep this has the potential to go long, but I'll do my best to keep it brief.

For here on tumblr, when I first started dipping my toes in the Bridgerton fandom, I did the usual, liking posts and leaving anon asks. As I got a bit more confident, I would leave comments, reblog posts I liked from seemingly awesome peeps and start asking as myself and not on anon. I would even jump into people's inboxes if one of their fics/posts REALLY struck me in a certain way.

In particular, I looked for people whose brand of weird I enjoyed and who I hoped, would appreciate mine. What I mean by that is, fandom by nature is a little weird and that's what makes it great! The fact that we're all hyperfixated on this THING? How AWESOME is that!

Hooo sorry, I'm rambling. Anyway, for tumblr, we're all mostly introverts, right? The first step, for me at least, was really just daring to take the first step and reaching out.

If someone posts things you like, whether it's a fic, gifs, or a meme, even if it's just saying "Hey, I like this thing!" I GUARANTEE you, the OP takes note.

Now for some people, me included, in addition to tumblr, there are also discord servers for specific parts of the fandom you enjoy. It's DEFINITELY worth going and searching there. You could even put out a general call out for recommendations on your own blog with tags to the specific things you're looking for.

I could go on and on about fandom in general but I'll leave it there. I'm a little in awe that you'd value my opinion on this. I hope this advice helps you Nonny.

[freejamtime]

Hi so i saw your astarion gale post and i wanna say first of all good post op!! my dnd group literally devolved into arguments because the astarion fans were like “stinky crack wizard looks like he’d spike your drink” which is a wild thing to say. also like. astarion and gale have so many similarities- you’re gonna tell me that astarion needing to drink blood and gale needing to eat magic aren’t similar? at all?? completely ignoring that you could easily punt astarion with the same “creepy crack vampire hitting on me when i’m not interested” brush, yaknow? like. what bothers me is the lack of consistency- if it were people going “yeah i don’t like gale that much and astarion is hot” i’d understand so much more than “incel crack wizard” or whatever. anyway sorry to ramble in your askbox this argument has been bothering me for a while and your post was spot on

tysm haha.... i also have a lot of feelings about the romanticization of astarion's trauma and the idea his bad ending "would be better if he was more loving but still possessive" (which.... wtf) but i don't have the energy to make another post like my gale one lol

but ty for sharing your thoughts!! i agree with a lot of the tags that the issue is a little kinder here than on tiktok. but tiktok is a hellsite and neither groups i think have ever passed a high school english class so

[black-mesa-slut-voice]

Haha what if I drew @gordonfeetmn​ ‘s Dinosaur AU.... haha... jk.....

..................unless...?

[o0kawaii0o]

Day xx of quarantine: I’m soft for Higashikata Josuke and I finally finished this

[darklydeliciousdesires]

The Dark Passenger - Chapter Twenty Two & Epilogue.

So, besties. I did originally have another chapter after this, but after sitting on it for a couple of weeks after finishing and then re-reading it a few times, I decreed that it was mostly me rambling on and I didn’t like it, so I cut it to a final chapter and epilogue, a result I was much happier with. I can only hope you agree! Thank you so much for your engagement with this story, I’ve been so thrilled with the love it had received along the way. You’ve been a wonderful audience :)

Previous chapters - One  Two  Three  Four  Five  Six  Seven  Eight  Nine  Ten  Eleven  Twelve  Thirteen  Fourteen  Fifteen  Sixteen  Seventeen  Eighteen  Nineteen  Twenty  Twenty One

Words - 4,770

Warnings - 18+ content throughout, minors DNI!

Tag list - In the comments. Please DM to be added/removed

“Shit, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you,” EZ apologised, turning to stroke Camille’s arm through the darkness. She reached for the bedside lamp, switching it on.  

“It’s alright, I wasn’t really fully asleep anyway. I didn’t expect you to be, for obvious reasons.” It was 4am, and they had to be at the hospital by eight, EZ parched and hungry, of course on strict nil by mouth orders, since his surgery was scheduled for 9:30am. “Silly question, but how are you feeling?”

He shuffled closer to her, Camille turning onto her back, EZ resting his head in the crook of her shoulder. “Scared to fucking death, if I’m honest. I trust Doctor Shepherd, I really do because she’s such a surgical genius, going by her track record, but still. I’m frightened, that this might be my last morning lying in bed with you.”  

Her emotions wanted to succumb to the heavy stirring his words prompted, but she swallowed down the lump in her throat. She had to be strong for both of them. “It won’t be the last, baby. God can’t take you from me yet. It isn’t your time, I know it. You haven’t been put through all of this not to make it over the final hurdle.”

“You always say all the right things,” he mumbled, turning to kiss the side of her neck, wrapping himself around her, the warmth of her skin comforting. “I hope I live to hear you tell me many more.”  

She stroked his head, her nails raking softly over the little bits of new hair growth. “You will, my darling. You will.” She curled around him, holding him tightly, giving him all of the comfort he sought, glad when she heard him begin to snore softly, dozing in her arms for a couple of hours.  

He awoke at 6:30am, this time deciding to get up, shutting himself into the bathroom and shedding tears he didn’t want her to see while he took a shower, trying to hold onto a little optimism beneath the fear that was gripping him, the trepidation he felt at knowing he was about to be put under anaesthetic for a minimum of twelve hours while someone cut into his brain.  

After pulling himself together, he thought upon the reasoning that had calmed him, knowing that Doctor Shepherd did this daily, that it was her field of expertise, marvelling to himself that something that was so huge for him was just another day for her. He was in awe at that kind of poise and control, thinking that it could have been him with someone else’s life in his hands, had his life gone to how he once planned it and he’d become a cardiovascular surgeon.  

By the time he’d cleaned his teeth and dressed, he was feeling a little more positive, but the grip he held Camille’s hand with as they left the hotel room at just gone 7am was tight, nonetheless.  

“Good morning, Mr Reyes, Miss Smith,” Doctor Shepherd greeted them with at just coming up to 9am, smiling brightly as she entered his room. “Okay, so all of your pre-op stats look good, do you have any questions before we take you down?”  

“I don’t think so, no,” he spoke, Amelia seeing it clearly in him, the nerves.  

“Alright, that’s fine. Try to relax, remember, you’re in the best hands. I’ll see you down there.” She nodded curtly and left, going to prepare herself and take a last look at her notes prior to beginning what was to be a long and difficult surgery, but one she was extremely confident over. When it was time for him to go, he held Camille one last time, exchanging kisses with her. How she managed to hold herself together, she didn’t know, her voice shaking a little with emotion.

“I’ll see you later tonight, or tomorrow morning, depending. I’m not leaving the hospital at all. I’ll be right here when you wake up, I promise,” she vouched, her lips meeting his again. “I love you so much.”

“Love you too, baby. Remember that, alright. You’re the entire world to me.” One last kiss and he was wheeled out of the room, Camille waiting until the bed had vanished from view around the corner before she allowed herself the tears she’d held onto so tightly to fall, having a little cry as she made her way to the waiting room.  

“Good morning, everyone. Alright, we have Ezekiel Reyes here, thirty-five years old, with a grade five glioblastoma upon the frontal lobe as you can see, with a push of two millimetres into the temporal. The previous prognosis was inoperable, but we all know I love a challenge on a Thursday morning, and we have just that right here. Right, shall we begin? Start the clock. Ten blade, please.” With that, the first incision was made, the viewing gallery full of the residents who wished they could have been chosen to be in the OR with Doctor Shepherd, all curious to watch the huge surgery unfold.  

“This margin is so much better than I expected, I can get a beautiful, clean cut along this side. Suction, please,” Amelia began after assessing the area, slicing carefully along the outer wall of the tumour, stopping after a couple of millimetres progress, observing the MRI beamed images, checking her patient’s stats as she and Doctor Anders, her attending, shared thoughts. “Continuing laterally over the parameter onto the posterior ramus, I shan’t divert here until I need to. Look at this, god, he’s lucky. Death can go screw himself. He’s not coming for this man, not today.”

Doctor Anders agreed, his eyes flitting up to the clock. Five hours, thirty-two minutes. At eight hours, the progression had led to the base of the tumour, Ameila stepping back, asking for a few moments while she considered her options in how to proceed. She studied the scans, muttering to herself, taking a breath as she rocked on her heels, her feet tingling a little. “Twelve blade, please. Proceeding bi-laterally against the inferior temporal sulci. Margins are less clear here.”  

Less clear was an understatement, Amelia needing a further four hours just to cut around that small area, leading up to the superior temporal sulci by the time the clock ticked over into twelve hours, and only half of the tumour cut away. “You shall not get the better of me, beast. No, you shall not.” She spoke confidently, Doctor Anders having left a short time ago, her reliable soundboard that was Richard Webber at her side.  

“Take a pause if you’re unsure, Shepherd,” he advised, watching her blink tightly a few times, knowing she was beginning to stress herself. “Leaving a tiny amount around the hippocampus isn’t a failure if you aren’t sure. Radiotherapy can see to the rest.”

She took a deep breath, nodding. “I know, I know.” Her eyes crinkled in smile as she looked to her side. “You know I don’t enjoy being beaten, though.”

Richard made a small ‘hmph’ that had her chuckling softly. “Tell me something I don’t know. You and your brother, exactly the same.” She thought of her late sibling then and all his surgical brilliance in the same field, closing her eyes for a second, wishing she had a direct line to the other side. “What would Derek do?” The question she thought resounded through her head, looking to the MRI again, her brain ticking along with the minutes.  

By thirteen hours and twenty-four minutes, she knew how to proceed.

By fourteen hours, she had made her progress around the hippocampus.

By fifteen hours, she was working onto where the tumour pressed against the temporal lobe.

By nineteen hours and beyond exhausted, she ready to close.

For the entire time, Camille had sat an anxious wreck in the waiting area of Grey-Sloane, napping for a few minutes here and there. At just past four thirty in the morning, she looked up to see a welcome sight in the appearance of a tired looking Doctor Shepherd.  

“Well, that was the most complex surgery I have had task me for a number of years, but I’m pleased to say that all went well. I managed to get it all out, every last bit,” she revealed, Camille gasping, getting up to throw her arms around the brilliant surgeon who stood before her, the doctor giving her a fleeting hug before pulling away. “Now comes the part of waiting to see if anything has been affected where his speech and motor skills are concerned. This can be very tricky to tell, even though nothing happened surgically that would point a definitive finger to such, it’s all so complicated that we do have to wait until he comes around. You should go and sleep, and we will call you when he awakes. It could be hours yet.”  

Camille was resolute, though. She would not leave that hospital until he did wake. “I think I’m going to stay here, I can’t leave until I’ve seen him. I also cannot thank you enough for what you did for him. Thank you so, so much, Doctor Shepherd. You’re incredible.”

She nodded at the praise, smiling. “I do what I can, and I am pleased I could do this for him, for you both. Try and get some rest, I’m going to do just the same. I’ll remain right here so I’m close by in his immediate post-surgery hours. One of the nurses will come and fetch you once he’s regained consciousness.” Camille thanked her again, taking a seat, kicking off her shoes in the mostly deserted waiting area and curling up on the seats. The relief of knowing that her love had made it through the surgery was so great, she was asleep within minutes.  

Five hours later and a nurse shook her awake, smiling kindly. “Miss Smith? Mr Reyes awoke briefly, but it was fleeting. If you’d like to come through, you can sit with him now. It might be a long wait until he wakes again, but the fact that he did open his eyes only for a moment is a very positive sign.” She took a moment to quickly go outside and let his family and hers know that he’d come through the surgery, telling them she’d call when she had more news before being taken up to his room in recovery.  

It was frightening, to see him covered in wires, his head back to completely clean shaven, not that she could see much around the myriad of dressings and bandages, his chest slowly rising and falling as the machine he was attached to breathed for him. She leaned down and gently kissed his cheek, tears running down her face. “Told you so,” she whispered, grasping his hand softly, taking a seat at his side. “Told you god wouldn’t take you from me just yet.”  

She sat and talked to him, getting up to stretch, napping a little more, only leaving to go and fetch herself coffee on a couple of occasions and stretch her legs, reading one of the two books she’d brought along with her. It was coming up to 6pm when she practically threw the book on the floor, feeling his arm twitch against hers and looking up to see his eyes open, immediately buzzing for the nurse.  

She was asked to leave while she and one of the surgeons who had been in the OR with him, Doctor Webber, checked him over, Doctor Shepherd joining them after a few minutes. Camille couldn’t see much through the partially closed blinds, but when one of the nurses stepped out, she could make out that his breathing tube had been removed, which was a good sign, she thought, for him to be breathing on his own thirteen and a half hours post op.  

“Okay, Miss Smith, we can have you back in now. We’ve given him a first assessment, and he is completely cognitive, I am thrilled to reveal. Except... it’s all in Spanish. Now, this is not unheard of, I myself began replying in French after my own tumour removal, but in the hours to follow I did revert back to English. He understands everything we’re asking of him, but Doctor Webber and I have only a basic grasp on the language. I don’t suppose you could help us out there?” she asked, Camille smiling.

“I can, actually. I learned Spanish at school. I’m not completely fluent, but I know enough to get me by.” She stood up, walking back in, receiving a very tired smile from EZ, grasping his hand in both of hers as she leaned to kiss him.  

“Well, I take it from that, you know exactly who this young lady is?” Doctor Webber asked, EZ nodding minimally.  

“Si, mi novia, Camille,” he spoke, before focusing on her. “Cómo estás, querida?”

“I’m fine, baby. I’m just fine. A little thrown, hearing you talking to me in Spanish, but Doctor Shepherd tells me that this can happen after surgery.”  

Immediately, EZ looked confused, beginning to speak again, Camille nodding as she took it in. “He says he isn’t consciously doing it. He’s thinking in English, but when he comes to speak, it’s all coming out in Spanish.” She paused while he spoke again, laughing at his words. “He says his mom would be proud, and his brother would be pissed off because he was always the one more fluent than he.”  

The doctors both laughed softly. “Well, everything else is perfectly normal on first assessment, and we will take you down for an MRI shortly, once you’ve had something to eat as you’re likely starving by now,” Doctor Webber explained, he and Doctor Shepherd leaving them to talk, EZ revealing he was so hungry, he could happily eat a shoe as long as it had mustard on it. 

After he was brought fruit and a sandwich, both of which he ate like he’d never seen food before, he was taken down for a scan, brought back up asleep, since he’d apparently conked out while in the machine, the porter telling Camille it had taken four people to lift him again and still, he hadn’t woken.  

It was no surprise to her, knowing exactly how heavy her boyfriend was, or that he’d fallen asleep again. He must’ve been so tired, and in pain too. She was just glad that everything appeared to be normal. His balance and motor skills would furtherly be assessed in the following days, but the fact he could grasp things and feed himself were progressive signs that all was well.  

“Te ves cansanda, mi amor,” he told her, stroking her face with his thumb.  

“I am, honey. I’m very tired. They said I can stay here for a few more hours, though,” she revealed, stifling a yawn.

“Well, I think I’ll be going back to sleep soon, so you should go back to the hotel.” They both then looked at one another with wide eyes. “That was in English, wasn’t it? I didn’t just think that and not speak it, did I?”  

She beamed at him. “No, it was in English. Either that or I’m suddenly telepathic.” He laughed, wincing a little. “God, the fucking headache I have right now. I mean, it’s preferable to the tumour, so I’m not gonna complain much, but yeah. Ouch.”  

“I think I’ll leave you to rest, then, as much as I really don’t want to, and come back in the morning.” He agreed that it was a good idea, kissing her goodbye, telling her over and over how much he loved her, clicking the morphine drip he was attached to as soon as she’d left, feeling woozy in the following seconds. Before the dose sent him to sleep, though, he smiled into the dim light of his room, two words resounding through his very sore head.

“It’s gone.”

A happy tear trickled down his cheek as he dozed off.  

Epilogue

“So, how big is your scar, then?” Angel asked, sitting on his hotel room bed, Bella next to him as they chatted via FaceTime with EZ, the latter laughing at his sister-in-law.  

“Sorry, I know I shouldn’t laugh, B, but your face!”  

She frowned, his laughter bursting forth. “I look ridiculous!” Falling asleep in sunglasses had left her with the white marks on her face from such, Angel turning to her and snorting before cracking up, He received a slapped arm for it, Bella mildly fuming.

“As for how big the scar is, I have no idea. They changed the dressing but it’s still a little tender, so it has to remain covered for now,” EZ then went on to explain. “I did manage to walk today, though. They didn’t want to get me up on my feet for forty-eight hours while I rested, so yeah, I managed that okay. Nearly flattened Camille when I wobbled, but other than that, I’m all good.”

“That’s good to hear, bro. Not that you nearly took Camille out, but that you’re making progress. We were nervous as hell, all the way through those nineteen hours, man. I’m so relieved you’ve made it out the other side and shit, and you can put all this behind you. You tell that surgeon from me that she’s a goddamned genius!” EZ vouched that he would before letting them go, the door opening to reveal Camille with a familiar paper bag in her hand.  

“Here you go, don’t demolish it all at once,” she told him, handing him the takeout bag from a burger place they’d visited the day before his surgery. The hospital food wasn’t bad at all, but all EZ had been able to think about for the last day was the triple bacon cheeseburger he’d loved so much, Camille telling him she’d fetch one for him on her way in.

“I cannot promise you that at all. Here, I take it one of these is for you?” he replied, taking out one of the two cartons of fries.”

She took it with thanks, placing the drinks down on the cabinet to the side of his bed. “Yes, they are. I did have a chicken burger, but that was gone before I even jumped into the Uber, I was so hungry! Oh, I spoke to mom and dad this morning, they send their love.”

“Tell ‘em the same back, or actually I’ll FaceTime with them later, once they’re back from work. Hang on... what day is it?” He was a little cloudy on that at times, but it was to be expected after all he’d gone through.  

“Monday, so yes, they’ll be home from about six tonight,” she confirmed, covering her mouth with her hand as she chewed through her fries. “How are you feeling? Did they get you up again today yet?”

“Only to go to the bathroom, which I managed okay. Doctor Shepherd said that she feels confident enough that I should be able to leave tomorrow, should everything still be progressing like it is.” It was, EZ being discharged just after 10am, surprised at how swiftly it was all moving. He’d expected that he’d need weeks in hospital prior to his first talk with Doctor Shepherd, not understanding how if all his vitals were fine and his brain showing good progress after the surgery, he only needed to keep resting.  

He did so in the beautiful surroundings of their hotel room, going straight back to bed again, tired, as he was told to expect for the first few weeks post-surgery. Naturally, he had headaches as well, but nothing that couldn’t be controlled with his painkillers. One headache he’d been anticipating the cease of, an external one, came to an end three days after he’d arrived back at the hotel, receiving a call from an unknown number on his pre-pay.  

“Ezekiel.” He’d recognise the strong Irish lilt anywhere, despite only having met the woman once. “I just thought I’d call to let you know that the dominoes have toppled, and I will drive to meet with your VP later this week in order to discuss our arrangement in more detail, since I know you’re still incapacitated at the moment. I'm eager to get this moving.” She paused, lighting a cigarette. “How’d it go, by the way?”

He was surprised she cared, but he could detect a genuine interest in her tones. He’d decided it would be in the best interest of the club, and future harmony with the Sons to reveal his health issues, should he have died on the table, so warned Chibs during their meeting there could be a chance that going forward, it might be Bishop he’d be dealing with, should the worst have happened. “Thanks for the update. As for the surgery, it went well. Nineteen hours saw the entire thing removed.”

Abi’s eyebrows rose significantly. “Jesus in tap shoes, that was a battle, eh? Well, heal well, and I’ll see you at some point in the future, so.” The line clicked dead before he could reply, EZ smiling to himself, his affairs all now in perfect order. With the figureheads of the LNG all taken out in a systematic strike, leaving the foot soldiers in the wind without leadership, the tie was severed. The Mayans were free of it, and for that moment, he was free to focus on someone much, much lovelier.

“How was your bath?” he asked, closing the door after accepting the room service cart that had brought up their dinner.  

Immediately, Camille flapped her hands in the direction of the bed. “Get back in there!”

“Damn, I wish you were ordering me back here under the promise of climbing on me.” His confession made her laugh as she dressed in her shorts and vest sleep set, grabbing their plates and taking them to the bed.  

“No heavy exerting yourself, doctor’s orders, and you will follow them!”  

“Yes, Marge,” he couldn’t help but tease, receiving a soft slap to the chest before she passed over his steak and fries, her mouth-watering at the smell of her plate of spaghetti carbonara. “All jokes aside, I couldn’t have done any of this without you. Thank you, baby, for taking such good care of me.”  

She reached for him, stroking his shoulder. “It’s what I’m here for.”  

Truly, Camille was his godsend, his shining light, the one person who had refused to let him slide into the jaws of fate. She’d never given up on him, and she never would. In turn, he showed her every day going forward, just how thankful he was for such devotion.

Fifteen months later...

“Camille,” Molly, one of her beauticians called from the counter, Camille at the back of her beauty shop preparing everyone a cold drink. “There’s a gigantic bunch of white roses coming this way.”

She walked forward, grinning happily as she took the delivery from the girl struggling with them, thanking her while taking the card.

‘Happy anniversary, mi amor. Thank you for being so wonderful, for making me proud you’re mine each and every day, and for loving me just as much as I love you. EZ xx’

What a stark contrast it was, from two years before when he’d sent her white roses, all in the interests of keeping her hooked on him, regardless of how he treated her. Now, he sent them to show his love, but his actions and his words always outshone such gestures. He’d promised her he’d show himself to be worthy of her devotion to him, and it was a promise he’d kept.  

Shortly after their first Christmas together, Camille had left her job at The Lunar Lounge, finding the perfect property to open her salon in, the business thriving, her customers always leaving with the kind of cheer the proprietor greeted every single one of them who came walking through her door with. She still had her little house, and EZ his apartment over the clubhouse, both enjoying that although very much together, they could have their separate spaces still, a few nights a week spent at hers, a few at his, and a couple free to do as they pleased.

That night, they would be at neither property, though.  

“Are you ready?” EZ asked at 6pm, arriving promptly at Camille’s to collect her.  

She locked her front door behind her, turning to take the helmet he proffered forth. “Sure am, but I wish you’d tell me where we’re going!”  

“You’ll see.” Oh, how she hated when he kept things from her. Just over fifty minutes later, though, and with the sun beginning to sink into the horizon, they pulled up at the coast.  

“You always tell me I never take you to the beach enough, so here we are,” he spoke, stowing their helmets away, Camille scanning her surroundings.  

“This isn’t far from Bella’s mom’s place, is it?” she spoke, recognising the area, although they’d turned off prior to taking the route that led to Deb’s home.

“Yeah, it’s about a twenty-minute walk that way.” he confirmed, pointing over at the row of beach houses, which all looked like dots in the distance, both descending the small verge that led down to the sand, taking off their shoes, EZ then taking her hand in his.  

They walked for just over twenty minutes along the shore, enjoying the sunset, talking about their respective days, EZ suddenly looking worried.  

“Shit,” he began, patting his pockets down. “Oh, fuck. I think I dropped my keys.”

Camille’s eyes widened. “Are you sure? I swear, I thought I saw you put them in your hoodie pocket. Are they not there?”  

“Nope, but I heard them jingling not long ago, so they must be further on up the beach.” Back they began to walk, EZ trailing back deliberately. “Babe?”

She stopped, turning around, her hands flying to her mouth to see him there, down on one knee, a ring box flipped open.

“Camille Teresa Smith, you mean more to me than words can ever express. You’re the love and light of my life, and I’m thankful for you with every breath I breathe. Will you marry me?”  

Her eyes filled with tears in an instant. “Oh my god! Oh my god!” she cried. “Yes!”

It was the greatest answer to a question he’d ever received, pulling the cushion cut diamond ring from the box and sliding onto her finger, her hand trembling, pocketing the box again before he stood with her in his arms, hugging her tightly. He let her down, sharing kisses, Camille’s ears pricking up to a sudden noise coming from the houses.  

“What the...” she exclaimed, looking up the beach to see all their friends and family come running from Deb’s property, Camille screaming with laughter.

“Yeah, about that,” EZ began, turning to see Marge and John leading the pack. “Kinda thought you might want to celebrate with everyone you love most.”  

She couldn’t help but tease him. “And what if I’d said no?”  

“Then they’d have got me plenty drunk to help ease the pain, I guess.” They looked at each other and laughed, Marge launching herself towards her daughter, hugging her tightly as she offered her congratulations, John pulling him into a warm hug.  

“Son, I’m thrilled for you,” he spoke warmly, hand rubbing his head with affection. “You too, Camie.”

“Oh my god, we’re going to be sisters-in law!” Bella cried, bouncing up into Camille’s arms as she laughed with happiness, placing her down, moving to hug Felipe.  

“Thank you,” he spoke, stepping to the side with her, touching a tender hand to her cheek. “Thank you for loving him as much as you do. I know I might’ve been a cranky, old pain in your ass when we first met, but I see it. Your love got him through the hardest time in his life, and for that, I will never stop being thankful to you, Camille.”

She was touched beyond words, hugging her future father-in-law again, kissing his cheek before one by one, she was congratulated by everyone present, all of them heading back up to the house.  

“Shall we?” EZ spoke, jerking his head in the direction.  

“Yes, lets.”  

And so there they went, heading off into their life together, the dark passenger of their past long gone from the ride they’d begun together, heading off along that long road. It had been rocky to begin with, but now, the road ahead was smooth, and the only passenger upon their journey with them was happiness.  

The End.  

[utilitycaster]

I saw the same post you kind of, alleged? (Unsure if it's the correct word) and man oh man, the way it was written felt extremely accusatory for no reason. Like, i have my own opinions about the bigotry in the CR fandom, but it is in no way more or less present than almost any other fandom

Im paraphrasing but it felt like they were saying "hey critters, just so you know this story has PoC and it's very important to PoC (not me of course cause im white) so be cautious and respectful" like ok? And?? (I'm aware that this is ofc how i interpreted the post, and may not be the true intentions of OP)

Sorry im rambling to your askbox, but it just, felt wrong to read lmao

No worries (and the word would probably be alluded to, or honestly you can just say “vagued” here, let’s not beat around the bush).

Yeah it’s…something. Like, I am also white and so I don’t feel comfortable actually going on OP’s post to say “uh what the fuck,” but like, racism in actual play fandom is a very valid topic to explore, but “not watching the original series for a miniseries in which there were black characters” is an entirely neutral choice, particularly if the miniseries has twice as many actors of color (and twice as many black actors) in it as the original.

Anyway it fucking sucks. It co-opts social justice language/the concept of anti-racism but makes it about the white OP's apprehension about a different DM coming into a world they like. I also find that D20 fans have been pretty fucking obnoxious about "I just wonder if CR fans/fans of Matt will understand the rich lore" while not actually providing any tools to understand that lore other than watching A Crown of Candy. Like...obviously I have my biases as a CR wiki editor but the D20 wiki is in shambles. I've gone there to get Neverafter summaries because I'm still struggling to get through that season but do want to know what happens, and there's nothing. If all this whiny, hostile handwringing about how CR fans won't know the lore were replaced by a few hours of cleaning up D20 fan-made resources so they could learn the lore? That would do a thousand times more good. But it's not about that; it's pure snobbery. And here's the thing: it doesn't matter if people do know the lore. It's none of anyone's fucking business what other people watch, and to throw this into the CR main tag acting like people who are fans of CR can't pick up on lore is laughably stupid and incredibly obnoxious but also, if they can't? Why the fuck should that bother an existing D20 fan?

I love ACOC! I do think that if you have the time to watch it, it's a great watch and I highly recommend it! But presumably Brennan and Matt have worked together to set the scene for new viewers. And most importantly, it is not actually problematic for people to come in to the series cold, and it's immensely gross of a white person to act like it is when this is really entirely about their own feelings.

[This is a tangent but I have many thoughts about how to be a welcoming fan to new fans, mostly boiling down to "shut the fuck up and let them enjoy themselves without trying to meddle in the business of strangers simply because they like what you like." Anyway it's interesting bc I find CR fans err in the other direction of trying to be too welcoming in a way I find offputting, and glossing over the fact that yeah actually there is a lot of lore floating around that might be worth checking out if you are so inclined; both approaches suck.]

[whatever-you-can-give-me]

Genuine question: why does disagreeing (without being all ‘u r wrong’, but simply just saying ‘cool! Here is my take on this’) with how others see a character get you immediately labled a ‘transphobe’? Or just labled as anything really. Like. Fandom space is for having fun, fandom space is a place of many different & wonderful headcanons & new ways of seeing things! Yet ‘headcanon’ is still not ‘canon’, and can be disagreed with. Hell, you can very well disagree with some of the stuff canon does! It doesn’t make it less canon of course, it just makes your experience with it more palatable to you.

So when a person says ‘here is my blorbo! I imagine him as trans and like viewing related content!’ and you say ‘awesome take, i bet there are a lot of interesting things you can do with this if you explore this more! I personally like thinking of this character & looking at content of him as biologically male, as described in canon!’ shouldn’t the answer be ‘wow! Two cakes! So cool!’ instead of ‘u r just a bigoted transphobe, the only right way to see him is as [insert specific gender identity] or literally as anything BUT what u see him as, because canon mentioned these select things that pertain to said character taking on masculine and feminine traits specifically from a narrative standpoint’ ??

I’m seriously just so lost. Just because someone doesn’t like seeing a certain character a certain way, (without disrespecting other interpretations,) it suddenly catapults them into being an awful person??? huh??

Of course it also works the other way, and with many other things, which is just as weird, which is exactly the point of my question here.. bros, the world... 💔 (m so sorry this is so long ong. i tend to ramble. pls don't answer if u don't have the time, have a good one <3)

oh man this is. first of all i'm not sure if this is in reference to some specific post or tag or if it's just because i've been very opinionated recently. but i do love to talk, so you're in luck.

also i'm not. sure if this is bait? i'm going to answer under the assumption that it isn't because it's. honestly a pretty good summary of a very real issue not with fandom exclusively but more so the internet as a whole. if anyone else has gotten this exact ask copy-pasted in their askbox let me know in the replies. (sorry if this is 100% genuine op, there's just a Lot Of Bait on this topic going around at all times forever and it's. june. so.)

objective disclaimer: don't. insult or accuse people of things. because of the art they make?? especially not fanwork for free for fun??? have you seen the state of the world right now? Now Is Not The Time To Be Arguing About Trans Headcanons. i'm answering this because i have a lot of thoughts on the nature of fandom, not because i think knee-jerk anger at anyone is helpful right now. if you're big mad, write to your senators or donate to the trevor project.

anyway.

basically: it's twitter's fault. [not just twitter, but twitter is The example of this] the algorithms of most websites, especially social media websites, prioritize arguments and things that are generally clickbaity because if you're spending a lot of time arguing, you have your eyeballs pointed at the site for longer and therefore you see more ads and therefore the advertisers and therefore the app makes more money. therefore the kinds of "you're disagreeing me therefore you must be bigoted against my opinions" kind of kneejerk discourse gets a lot of clicks and very mainstreamed. this is an issue the entire internet has, and also politics. it's twitter's fault. i hate it here.

in the specific circumstance you're describing. it's a few things, a lot of it being. gestures at the current state of the world. there's a lot of genuine anger towards genuine injustice boiling inside of a lot of people, and it's getting thrown at the nearest target because systematic change is difficult and slow, and sometimes it feels good to give someone a hard time for a tiny microcosm of something you're angry about because you can't wrestle god or throw a brick at a politician.

a lot of us in fandom are queer and scared. it doesn't justify hurting other queer people over different interpretations of a media property, but that is often why it happens. can't stop current events? yell at someone you feel is putting art in the world that Isn't Queer Enough (don't fucking do that, yall. there is room in the world for a lot of art. and just because it's not Visibly Queer or Queer In The Way You Are doesn't make it less valid as art. certainly don't accuse people of bigotries about it.) or that they feel like their space is being encroached upon by an outsider (no one has to tell you their list of marginalized identities to have their art allowed past the threshold of Queer Enough! don't fucking do that either, yall! you sound like cops!)

there's also the fact that people tend to put themselves in their art and interpretations. so seeing "i don't view this character this way" can feel like "i don't think You are valid". it's important to recognize when you're taking something Personally when it Isn't Personal. you're allowed to have your Big Feelings about particular art or interpretations. god knows i do! but the artist probably has Big Feelings about their art too, and while you may not understand them, that should be respected.

and this "seeing yourself (or not seeing yourself and it hurts) in art" goes both ways. a lot of the same body types often gets headcanoned as trans, because it's a very easy in for Baby's First Trans Headcanon, and as far as human sexual dimorphism goes, there are some patterns. but, say, what if a skinny, short, baby-faced cis man wants to see art of babyfaced cis men, without feeling within the queer community the kind of scrutiny he experiences outside of it, the assumption that his masculinity must be different, that obviously someone who looks like that is a trans man. what if a six foot tall cis woman sees the way that big, tall women in media are so often headcanoned as trans, more often than shorter, thinner women, and feels othered by it? wanting to represent themselves in art does not become somehow less valid because of their gender identities. that's ludicrous.

but people are angry and scared, and people put themselves in their art, and people get angry when they feel like their space is being encroached on, and they lash out. it's not fair, and i hate how common it's become, but i see how it happened.

honestly, i've thought about this specific issue a lot, so thank you for possibly-baiting me, anon. this is such a. it's such a bubble issue, but it's a microcosm of a very widespread problem of outrage merchants and Doing Things Correctly and What Is Allowed To Be Queer.

it's all allowed. all of it. even the stuff you hate. even the stuff that's Too CisHet. there are so many bigger problems than fanwork right now.

[zeroducks-2]

To give a serious response to your last reblog, I think most people (maybe not the VOCAL majority) like to exclude tags they don't want to see, and then if something is tagged incorrectly you do just scroll past or stop reading the fic when something comes up. I know there are people who complain about it like it's the end of the world but yeah it is a common thing among most of my internet people to be like "aw man I didn't know [thing] was gonna be in this fic, I guess I'm gonna go read something else now" and I don't really see any problem with that. (As long as they aren't like harassing the author about it or anything obviously, which again I'm sure some people do and that's not cool)

Fair warning, this was supposed to be a quick response and it turned into a long ass ramble about purity culture and anti behavior, sorry about that. It is a long post so feel free to just skip to the TL:DR.

I agree with you, and as I mentioned I really really like the tagging system and the culture of putting content warnings and trigger warnings over content to help people avoid what they dislike and/or actively harms them. I like it in general, not just on AO3.

For what concerns AO3 I know that most people don't cause any kind of issue about it. I too had a situation where an anonymous guest commented to ask me to tag something in my fic. I hadn't thought about it because it was kind of just a vague mention but to them it seemed to be a big deal, so I apologized and added the tag (and they were really nice and polite about it anyway) and that was it. I don't mind people asking me to tag stuff. As an author I'm not omniscient and I don't have a team or even just an advisor to give a second opinion on my stuff, and tell me what I might have missed in the tags. So by all means do say it if you prefer this or that tag being added to my stories. I might have come off as someone who has issues with the tagging system and the culture around it, and I understand that it might be the case since my reblog was worded a bit harshly. I am sorry about that.

What I really was complaining about is people adopting anti or anti-ish behavior around fanfictions and fanfiction writers, acting like the fact that they come across content they dislike is the poster's fault when they're unable to curate their own online experience, and/or take responsibility as grown adults over the possibility of coming across something they dislike. At the same time holding fanfiction writers to absurd standards when it comes to laying out what their fics contain before someone engages with it, while it would be considered absurd to demand something like this from a novel, a movie, a videogame or anything non-transformative really. And not only there's the exclusion system on AO3 that helps people filter content they don't like, but also I want to highlight the fact that someone who is writing a fanfiction does not owe anyone anything in terms of tagging their stories. Tagging by itself is a form of courtesy that is not mandatory for most kind of content except the so called Archive Warnings, and even then you can avoid tagging anything by simply using "Creator chose not to use warnings" - which I'm sure you know means "this story contains potentially upsetting themes, proceed at your own risk". Most people will just politely ask to add tags, and most people will just tag their stories anyway. I very rarely ever came across a fic which was severely untagged to the point of making me wonder if the OP actually knew tags existed, and how they worked in the first place. I think it happened maybe twice and I've been reading fanfictions since AO3 didn't even exist. But there also are people who will harass the author if they didn't tag their fic "properly", and by properly it often times means that a character mentioned something the reader dislikes, or maybe a character they hate makes a very brief appearance, or there is a random OC created for a specific situation. Or anything that doesn't suit their tastes really, and that they demanded was laid out in front of them so they could avoid the gigantic effort of clicking on a story, read the first chapter and deciding by themselves if they liked it or not. These people are the ones who act like fanfiction writers and content in general should cater explicitly to them. Just check the comments of that post, you'll see an array of folks complaining that "authors do this on purpose!" and that who doesn't tag their fic properly is a terrible person.

There's this one saying that it's "so frustrating" and "really inconsiderate" on the author's part, referring to a fanfiction which has one of the characters genderswapped. Now I really, really dislike genderswap (nothing against it or against who likes it, but it really is not my cup of tea both in fics and in fanarts) and I generally stay away from it. But realistically, how long is it going to take me to realize that a fic has been written with one or more genderswapped characters? A couple of sentences? Maybe an entire paragraph? How "frustrating" is it gonna be to spend something like 3 minutes figuring that this story is not for me, and move on with my life?

It's not frustrating, and it's not inconsiderate on anyone's part. Sure I too would prefer it to be tagged, but it's a Me problem if I can't accept that I might end up seeing something I dislike on the internet, and it's not not a random fanfic author's responsibility to make sure I don't encounter something that makes me turn up my nose.

There is in general a lot of pressure on fanfic authors, in some fandoms more than others, and the whole "you have to absolutely nail the tags" conversation is another layer of said pressure. I know people that won't post longfics because they're unsure about the tags, especially of the fact that tags might change over time, and end up not posting at all. People deleting their entire fics over these kinds of demands because they can't meet them, because they don't know how their fic is going to change from here to the 15th chapter. People having to disable or moderate comments, take hiatuses, abandon fics - sure maybe the comment insinuating they were a bad person for not tagging "there's a random policeman OC in your detective AU" is not the main reason why they abandoned the fic, but it surely did not help.

This also leads to another phenomenon, which is that of over-tagging. Of people tagging rape/noncon "just to be safe", or tagging underage because "this character is 18 but there still is a big age gap", and the likes. That's not how tags work, that's actually how the tagging system gets bloated and becomes useless, because after the 4th fic which is tagged Rape and the rape doesn't happen, what often occurs is that the reader finds another fic tagged Rape and doesn't take it seriously. But in that one case the rape does happen and they get triggered, and it's an awful experience both for the reader and for the writer in case they get harassed over it (and this specific instance happened to me personally, because apparently the Rape warning on my story wasn't enough since the rape actually happened).

It's part of the reason why the Dead Dove: Do Not Eat tag exists and got so popular. If your story has some background/minor/past/mentioned/implied/referenced Thing happening, and you tag it as a Major Thing that happens, people who write stories which actually have Thing as a major topic don't know what to do, and end up using the Dead Dove tag which per se doesn't mean anything, it's just a way to say "MIND THE DAMN TAGS AND DON'T COME AT ME!". No one should feel forced to use the Dead Dove tag by the way. The Archive Warnings and the tagging system in general exist for a reason. If you're reading this and you've been harassed, just block the fuckers and ignore them.

So anyway, while I tend to be really irked by over-taggers especially when I'm looking for a specific kink, I don't really blame them. Purity culture kills artistic expression by making artists afraid of harassment if they post their work, among other things. I prefer an over-tagged fanfiction (or an under-tagged one) over no fanfiction at all.

TL;DR - I agree with you anon, I'm just mad at people who harass authors over tags. I don't think there's anything wrong with politely asking someone to tag their fanfiction, and if they repeatedly don't do it over major stuff that needs to be tagged, just block them and/or report them to the AO3 TOS.