I'm playing through Dragon Age 2 again and I just can't get over how... idk how to say it exactly, but the way you feel, in every moment of this game, how much Varric loves Hawke. It feels entwined with everything, it breathes through every part of the narrative, it blooms diegetigally through the integration of story and gameplay, makes you a co-conspirator in that love in a way maybe only a video game could.
It's in the way I don't think this story is a defense of Hawke only -- or even primarily -- directed at Cassandra, but at Hawke themselves. Beneath everything else going on there's the quiet, utterly unshakable refutation of Hawke's worst fears: Did you think you mattered, Hawke? Did you think anything you ever did mattered? . . . You're a failure, and your family died knowing it. Rising through the story as Varric tells it there's a fiercely tender voice saying: Yes, you did matter. In tragedy or in triumph, for better or for worse, in love or in hate, you always mattered. The ultimate tragedy of Hawke is always right there in the open before the story even starts letting you in on telling it; they couldn't fix anything. They couldn't stop the downward spiral Kirkwall was set on -- the real truth is that no one person ever could. And yet the point of DA2 is that it matters that they tried, and it matters that there were people who loved and were loved along the way, however badly it all failed in the end. Hawke is the Bioware protagonist who succeeds the least, and they're the character who matters the most, to me. (This is also why the Absolution reveal did not shake me in the least haha, my love for Hawke has nothing at all to do with whether they succeeded or failed at anything.)
What Varric is saying, in the only way he seems to be able to say the really real things -- through stories -- is so simple and so fundamental. You were here, and I loved you. There's the emotional heart of it, at the end of it all, that love and grief and recognition. It's so dizzyingly intimate. There's so much distancing, layers upon layers of obfuscation, to be able to say it. It drives me insane!!!! It makes me feel the same way that 'Poem' by Langston Hughes does:
I loved my friend.
He went away from me.
There's nothing more to say.
The poem ends,
Soft as it began,—
I loved my friend.
He loved his friend. They went away from him. What more is there to say. (Many, many, many things, when you're a compulsive liar and storyteller, but hey sometimes you have to deploy a whole armada of lies to tell one simple truth, I understand, I'm a writer too lol)
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Do you like fun?? Do you like whimsy??? How about mice???
Boy, do I have two games for you!! Both hacks of the Lasers + Feelings system, each game is one page, rp heavy, and can be played by small and large groups alike!
16 Mice in a Mech features the Mousey Mech Brigade and their many adventures! Create your perfect mousey crew, customize your mech, and pick from multiple customizable mission objectives!
16 Mice Make Soup (AKA MouSoup) is the culmination of two decades of watching cooking shows and wishing they weren't always so mean to each other. In this collaborative competition, you and your fellow MouChefs work together to create unique and unforgettable dishes using their customized Special Ingredient, but don't forget, at least one round MUST feature soup!!
I'm currently sitting at 247 + 189 sales respectively, and would absolutely love to hit 250 + 200 this month!! Since it is free+, I don't expect to make much/any $$, I just would love to share my silly little mouse games with as many people as possible 🐁
Thank you for your time! Keep Calm and Mouse On!!
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i think something just fell into place in my brain but idk how to make it make sense to anyone else, but i’m gonna try??
basically cesare spends two seasons trying his damn hardest to protect lucrezia’s innocence. first in s1 by trying to convince his father she's too young for marriage and then, by putting her to bed on her wedding night and telling giovanni sforza she’s young and it’s been a long day or whatever. and then, in s2, when she tells him she would happily kill tonight he reminds her that her killing juan would deeply upset their father and he then takes the task upon himself instead. then s3 comes along and she is (on more than one occasion) visibly upset by how things are going with alfonso, they’re not going as she hoped, he’s not a man she could fall in love with, he’s not a man that will ever cherish her and offer his life and soul to protect her/her honor/the things that matter most to her, etc.. and so, she turns to cesare, ready to give into what’s been brewing between them for YEARS. meanwhile cesare himself spends pretty much all of "siblings" struggling not to give into it because of the thought he’d be corrupting her soul. but despite his hesitation, he slips up and allows them to give into their feelings, crossing a line he feels never should've been crossed. then, he spends the rest of the season feeling ashamed because he believes he's damned her and so he tries his best to avoid giving into her again. anyway, i believe between this, having killed his own brother for power (and for lucrezia—both on her behalf and to protect her innocence, but mostly, let's be real, for power), and gaining his father’s trust is why he begins to shift into the monster that he’s come to be known as. it’s like these three things combined make something in his brain snap, turning him colder, and in turn making him more calculating and power hungry until he's the one forcing lucrezia to aid him in killing her own husband, therefore, committing the final act of corruption of her soul, bringing her down with him. twisted, dark, and complicated. my roman empire indeed.
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back for another jjk yap sess, this time abt geto LOL...
im honestly a little surprised i never noticed this before but the way that geto (who thought that his best friend was killed and saw a girl he was essentially willing to uproot his life for get murdered right in front of him) tries SOO hard to stay calm while toji's talking and then the MOMENT he brings satoru up again and trivializes riko's death, suguru loses it. i'm thinking suguru let him talk in the first place despite the risk of letting toji reveal his pact (and wanting to kill him Very Bad) cuz he figured it would be better to understand toji's deal since he beat satoru, something that suguru trusted would not happen
but then he starts referring to satoru strictly as "the six eyes", and i think that suguru, one of the few people that saw satoru as a person beyond his cursed technique or his family name could not help but get super pissed abt toji's dehumanization of satoru (and riko too, who he only refers to as the star plasma vessel). i just thought that it was very interesting....... suguru cared so much and it makes me CRAZY AS FUCK.
like, to begin with i think its sooo so interesting that suguru made it a point to be considerate of all the human parts of satoru despite the fact that im sure most other people assume he doesn't need to be worried about. i'll never stop thinking about suguru asking if he needs a break since he's overusing his technique, telling him he worked hard after getting back to the school, trying to rush to his side after he's been stabbed and being conflicted when satoru tells him to leave with riko and kuroi... he didn't just assume satoru could handle all that shit on his own cuz even if he could have he shouldn't have to.
also related omg im almost done i promise but!! the scene where suguru gets to the star religious group and sees satoru again for the first time...
the way that he can't even believe his eyes, probably in part because he's acting way different but also because he thought he FUCKING DIED. and he had to drag himself out of the tomb of the stars and probably went to look for gojo's body before even going to shoko. and then he had to tell her he couldn't even find his body man WHAT THE FUCK!!! i think maybe saw a twitter post about this part in particular but he might have thought toji took riko's body and satoru's, so the thought that he went all the way there thinking he'd have to see two dead bodies of people he cared about... ugh. suguru geto i love you
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get well soon!
haechan x reader, fluff
a/n: sigh ,,,,, when did i become such a big sunflower also idk what this is i think its kinda funny idk haebae is just the sweetest boy
the door to your room bursted open, causing you to jump out of your skin and yelp in fear. the grip you had on your pencil quickly changed into as if you were holding a knife, but you dropped it in relief upon turning around and finding your boyfriend.
“jeez, haechan you scared the shit out of me,” you whined. your eyebrows furrowed at him after taking in his clearly bothered, frantic state. “what’s wrong?”
“so when were you going to tell me?” he asked with pursed lips, sitting himself on the edge of your bed.
“tell you about what?” you treaded carefully, confused about what had him so worked up.
“don’t act like you don’t know,” haechan scoffed, poking his cheek with his tongue in annoyance. “you weren’t gonna tell me about chenle?”
you blinked at him a few time in hopes that he would elaborate on what he was talking about, but quickly caught on to what he was saying. you couldn’t help but laugh loudly at how he was reacting. “oh, did he tell you?”
haechan huffed and gently nudged your knee with his own in an attempt to stop you from laughing. “i seriously don’t find any of this funny.”
giggling, you tried to grab one of his hands, but haechan (who was feeling petty) gently slapped it away. “haechan, you know his crush is harmless. if he felt comfortable enough to tell you about it, i don’t think you need to worry.”
“okay, but he still has a crush on my girlfriend. like, what the fuck? could he seriously not find anyone else?” haechan rambled, letting you grab his hand this time. “and also, he wasn’t even the one to tell me. jisung slipped up about it earlier.”
“okay, well my point is,” you paused to stand in front of him, placing a gentle kiss on his cheek. “i’m dating you. i don’t care that chenle has a crush on me, and we both know he would never do anything stupid. besides, the crush ins’t as serious as you’re making it out to be. it’s always gonna be you.”
you could see all the tension fall from haechan’s shoulders as he sighed, wrapping his arms around your waist to pull you into a hug. “i’m the only person who’s allowed to have a crush on you,” he mumbled into your shirt.
ੈ♡˳
you had thought that haechan had gotten over finding out that chenle had a very small crush on you, but you were unfortunately very wrong.
the two of you were hanging out with the rest of the dreamies at mark’s place today. normally, you were used to haechan displaying his affection for you in front of other people, but he knew his limits and would never go overboard. today, however, you couldn’t help but notice that haechan felt especially full of love and couldn’t seem to help himself from showering that love all over you. whenever chenle walked by, you noticed that haechan would cling onto you a bit closer.
“do you want some?” haechan asked you, offering his small cup of ice cream to you.
you nodded, ready to dip your own spoon in, but haechan beat you to it. he held his spoon, ready with ice cream somehow, up to you mouth and smiled sweetly at you. you completely missed the way he side eyed chenle who was sitting in a chair on the other side of the room.
you gladly ate some of haechan’s ice cream, humming in delight at the flavor. haechan cooed softly at you and used his finger to wipe a drop of ice cream at the corner of your lips before pressing a soft kiss there, making you blush.
you heard a gag from the other side of the room, both of your eyes turning to see chenle looking at you guys with a disgusted expression. “gross. get a room.” he stood up from his seat and left to find jisung, clearly not wanting to third wheel.
you chuckled at his reaction while haechan glared at the back of his head. your boyfriend called after him, wanting to get the last word in. “jealousy is a disease, you know. get well soon, bitch!”
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