#anyways. im fine im totally fine everything is fine (<- lying)

[redactedgender]

guys i know i just posted my guy/honey smut, and im probably burnt out, plus i have finals and shit to work on, but…

… stares at my wip ideas.

[neuvisex]

Hiyaaa, i have a request but it may be triggering so if you dont feel comfy writing it, please let me know and i'll completely understand <3

If possible, may i requests scaramouche x reader who's um..like..struggling? with uhm..suicidal..like..this is hard to say but like. struggling with self harm..??? uhm. like cvtt1ng on their arms and thighs and they have alot of scars from it too and he finds out? fluffy ending..?? sorry..

im going through alot so uhm. yeah. but once again-! totally okay if you dont feel comfy writing it-!! i dont want you to feel like im guilt tripping you or anything too!! its all your decision <3

But anyways, Lots of love!! 🐈‍⬛💜 have an amazing day/night!!

♣︎ Immortality ♣︎

You find yourself facing a dead end, and the one to help you out is none less than the last person you expected.

TWs: self-harm, suicidal thoughts, mild gore, unhealthy behaviors

Tags: angst, hurt/comfort, gn!reader

Summary: Scaramouche finds out reader is struggling with their own self.

A/N: I too struggle with SH, so this was kind of self-indulgent... I don't know if it's fluffy enough by the ending but, well, at least it's not tragic either...

Blood. Your house is filled with a hideous, stale odor that spreads through the walls and shakes the core of the structure. As soon as Scaramouche senses it, his heart begins to race in anguish. No, no, please, not blood. He runs across the room with his legs wobbly, your name leaving his mouth in stuttering words.

— Y/N? Y/N, where the fuck are you?!

When he gets to the bathroom door, his body freezes. Scaramouche falls to his knees in front of your haggard body leaning on the bathtub, his hands trembling in a loss of what to do. For the first time in a long while, he feels genuine fear. Your arms are dyed a terrifyingly familiar dark red, a discarded blade in the puddle that spreads, smearing the floor. The two of you stare at each other for what seems like ages, his desperate eyes meeting your downcast ones.

— Please stay with me. Come on, stay with me.

You open your dry lips to say that everything is fine. That this is just a habit, something you do to ease the pain inside.

— What…?

Scaramouche is useless. How had he not noticed before? Your clothes always long, covering your arms and legs. Your distant, sometimes even evasive, behavior. Your fake smiles, while your eyes were filled with suffering. He should have guessed earlier. Before you had done it again.

— Y/N, I… calm down, I’ll help you… I’ll help you…

The boy's voice cracks as tears roll down his cheeks. He rips off a piece of his own robes and uses it to stop the liquid seeping through your skin, pressing firmly against it. When you ask why he's doing this for you, Scaramouche falls silent. Indeed, why? Why is he, who had renounced human emotions a long time ago, lying at your feet, begging you not to leave him?

— …please don't do that anymore. Please. — he repeats like a prayer.

**

Night falls quickly. You lie on your bed with your arms bandaged as the blue-haired puppet watches you intently, his features puffy and reddened.

— Are you angry? — You ask shyly.

Scaramouche looks like he can't believe what he's hearing. Now that both of you are more stable, he lets out an emotionless laugh.

— I'm not…I'm just wondering…why? Why mistreat your own body? Why didn't you ever tell me? Why did you…

Your hands find his in an act of consolation. He seems reluctant at first, but eventually relents and relaxes under your touch.

— Listen, I… I'm not exactly the best person to talk about self-love, but you, I mean… yeah, life sucks most of the time, I won't deny it, but you're a valuable person. And if you don't see it yet, one day you might. While you are in this process… count on me. Take it out on me, lean on me, cry with me. Just don't do that to yourself anymore, okay?

[thesherrinfordfacility]

alright next up on the list of ideas to dredge up from the drafts and talk about in more detail is the focus on books in this season, because its driving me around the bend

but because i literally have no answers whatsoever to this, im just going to do a crowley-core #justgirlythings and just ask questions:

ep2 goob (rip) lines: "books are key!" which ok yeah obvious but:

"and see, the big ones can be used as fly swats - and i know what you're thinking, but it's okay, because the beauty part is, it never works!"... hmmmm

but also earlier on, goob asks aziraphale "what [letter] comes after 'K'?", which is 'L', but goob then immediately refers back to his book that he's alphabetising, which is A Tale of Two Cities, and that starts with 'it'...? so why highlight the letter 'L'? (this might be something of nothing but given Book of Life idk could literally have been ANY other letter)

but then we have the rest of the episodes that cascaded from the two things above; first, the book blueprint of the universe in ep1, which AWCW was referring to, but only from page 11 onwards (so what was on pages 1-11?):

ep2: crowley discovering that jane austen wrote books (like, other than it being a comedic point of their conflicting remembrance of her as a person, and gives the "you think you know someone!" foreshadowing, it felt very pointed that crowley learns that she was a writer as well)

ep2 also sees aziraphale looking at a huge tome which, given everything that's going on, seems weird that he'd be randomly consulting? idk what the book is so not doubling down on this... anyone know if ive just missed something obvious?

but also makes a point of consulting the bible after goob recites what god said to job in the bookshop. which, given that he and crowley readily recognise what god says (he even says to crowley, "I most certainly do [remember]"), seems weird that they'd need to consult a book to remind them who job was and his story... could be exposition and for the cool fall-through effect, but possibly felt a bit unneeded. plus, it got aziraphale so absorbed that he totally conked out and missed crowley leaving the shop:

aziraphale writing in his diary at his desk on his bed, lying in his tummy, feet kicking in the air, in ep3:

the magician's pamphlet that not only follows aziraphale's epiphany of realising he's in love with crowley but also literally sets up the opportunity for aziraphale to demonstrate how much he trusts him, and is ultimately used against them in being discovered as (at least) being traitors to their respective sides:

plus the Hoffman book, and the angel field-guide:

like, oversimplifying, but literally all of ep5 being based on jane austen works

emphasis on muriel wanting to read books in the background of the Showdown going on in ep6, being chucked The Crow Road by crowley, and metatron being weirdly interested in the fact that they're reading it... like, how would he not know what a book is? why is it "excellent", and a "perfectly splendid thing to do"? odd choice of words even if you want them to take over the bookshop:

now this one i can believe is literally just about goob in the shop and that's fine, but again the emphasis on books anyway (and also michael's weirdly strong but conflicting memory? might write a different post about that bc i think michael got got by metatron somewhere along the line):

back to ep2 but fitting to bookend on:

so okay yeah sure, im certain the book of life comes into all of this somewhere (ive posted about it here but im fairly certain it's not what heaven/hell seems to claim it is, and i think only the metatron truly knows that). there's been a lot of emphasis on memory too in this season, but taking that out of the equation a minute, the main things giving me heebie-jeebies is goob's line about using big books as fly swats, and obviously metty-babes' weird reaction to the crow road...

idk where im going with this and ill probably look at this again but all of this was floating around my noggin and i couldn't take it anymore

[nothymetospeak]

Im not caught up on the thyme lore what happened in june??? (Also, from what i do know, you have every reason to be mad)

Oh boy this is a long story and a wild ride so I’ll put it under a cut

I’ll be leaving out names (though you could probably find them or if you know enough guess who the people are)

If you’re a person involved and somehow come across this. Hello. This is my take on the situation

All that’s here is just backstory for what happened. Past relationship things and I’ll put the actual. Thing in a reblog

Mkay. So this started back in October of last year when I started dating my ex.

We met in a mutual Layton server (they got. Kicked but it wasn’t particularly a negative thing) and kept contact. They confessed their feelings for me after something happened but expressed that they weren’t certain of their feelings. I agreed to try something out with them and it spiraled from there. I guess we never technically said we started dating (I was anticipating a trial period but they kinda just hopped into it)

For the record, I knew their mental health wasn’t the best. It never really was, but it only seemed to get worse over the months.

Fun fact about me is that I tend to mirror the people around me, to a kinda unhealthy point sometimes. So them being ill meant that I was ill and we got into this sort of unhealthy codependent thing. But I was really set on staying with them (to the extent that I was contemplating moving countries when I got old enough. Was planning on lying to my parents and everything. For a person I called with once and had three pictures of total.)

I’m easily attached. It’s just a thing

Anyways, they started interacting with someone in the community because he drew a certain character that they liked a lot.

There were a lot of signs that things were going badly. And I mean a lot of red flags that I simply ignored.

They were pretty notable within the fandom for their writing in art (as in. If you looked up certain characters their art comes up a few times.)

I’m only sharing this because it’s important later, but something happened in November (?). We had a system that when we noticed that each other rbed from someone on the no no list we’d message each other and then block that account. It happened more than once, and they were at least a little notorious for it. Then one day I let them know that they did it. And their answer changed. Their memory was pretty bad and keeping track of everything was hard for them, so they were just saying fuck it.

To support them I did the same, and said I didn’t care. That I loved them and supported them so I didn’t care either. Went down my block list and unblocked everyone (which started the chain of me being unable to block anyone ever again for forever.)

I’m horrible at standing up for myself and setting firm boundaries. I’m well aware that I’m a little doormat. And as expected, they pushed and I set my boundaries back further and further for them. It really was fine on my end, not nearly as bad as it could’ve been.

Mid January they moved on from PL and we started drifting a bit. They still interacted with my content when I sent it, but they moved onto other fandoms (one of which I got into in hopes that they’d talk to me more.)

Then in early February I got a message from someone I looked up to. I’m still rather afraid of him, if I’m honest. A while before that I made a comment that upset him and it made me nervous that he hated me. He messaged me about my partner, that the things they were doing weren’t acceptable and that the route they were on was a slippery slope. I knew that he had bad experiences before, and his points made sense. But they were rather fragile, and I naively thought that it wasn’t that bad.

Around that time (since December, actually) I was kind of tentatively getting closer to the kid me and my partner were mutuals with, and they were venting posting rather frequently. I’d reach out if it was particularly bad, and he’d send me vent art when he made it.

Eventually I asked him what kind of response he wanted when he sent me art (because I wasn’t sure what tone he was looking for). And he told me that he was still nervous about talking with me.

Then we talked more, and he showed me his conversations with my partner.

It was so much worse than I thought it was. The person that told me didn’t nearly do it justice. I freaked out and messaged my partner, and spent the next few hours panic messaging my friend and the person that told me. He apologized for not saying it all.

I understand why he didn’t. It wasn’t his place to tell. And it’s not my place to say it here either.

The next morning I broke things off with them, and it ended pretty messily. I regurgitated what the other person said, and they got upset. I remained relatively calm, but looking back I understand why they thought I was attacking them. I was hurt.

It was kind of stupid that I was upset that they weren’t just hurting me. Fucked up kinda I’m not good enough

But it all spiraled back to the block list thing. While I told them that I supported them, I requested that they not talk about those kinds of things with me. I thought that just because we were talking on similar subjects, they weren’t that far in. But at the time they were leaving the fandom, they just moved onto messaging the kid about the things they thought would make me uncomfortable to talk about.

And I was upset, because I knew that I would’ve been fine with it. My boundaries were already crossed so many times that I knew I would’ve done the same thing.

They blocked me on tumblr, and I told them I was taking a break. I never came back.

That’s the backstory to it. That’s background knowledge.

If you read this far, hi! Welcome to Valerie’s most recent fucked up relationship.

[tearsofsaudade]

st4 missing scene - mike pov of the (first) van scene

it was funny, mike thought as the van bumped along the road, jostling him into bumping elbows with will and el, how he was closer to the two of them than he had been in months, and yet he’d never felt further.

on the other side of the country, it was easy to pretend.

oh, will and i haven’t spoken for months? well that’s fine, it’s just hard to talk over the phone. it’ll go right back to normal once we’re together (he doesn’t need to know why it’s hard)

im totally happy in my relationship with el! she sends me letters all the time and i always respond as soon as i can (of course it’s almost always just a response to whatever she said, and her letters aren’t the ones that stay neatly tucked away in a drawer)

but he should’ve known that it wouldn’t be that easy. of course el had been lying to him, he didn’t know what had made him think that the deception was a one way street. it was almost relieving to know that he wasn’t the only one uncomfortable with honesty, and it gave him a bit of hope that maybe she’d break up with him (wait, that was bad. he was supposed to want to be with her. try again)

it was almost relieving to know he wasn’t the only one struggling to be honest, but he hoped they could fix it together. he didn’t want them to fall apart (better. safer)

and will….

considering how well mike knew will, it was almost impressive that he managed to fool himself into thinking will would just put up with his asshole behavior. even despite the walls mike had been mounting for the past few years, will still knew him better than anyone else, and he wouldn’t put up with mike acting the way he was when he would be the first to notice the cracks in mike’s facade. (it was nice to know that, despite everything, will could still read him like that)

anyway, mike was fine. he was handling it. maybe nothing had gone to plan and el nearly killed a girl and will was pissed at him and argyle and jonathan were still high off their asses—

will sighed, catching mikes attention. he was looking out the window, the way he always did on drives home when they were kids after troy was an asshole. mike was usually the one who started the fights, but it was always will he was after (maybe he was bad at figuring people out, or maybe mike was just better at hiding)

on the next bump, mike jabbed his elbow into wills arm hard enough to make him jump. his gaze flitted away from the window and turned to glare at mike before catching his downturned lips and apologetic eyes and he huffed as he turned away again.

mike nudged their knees together, once again regretting his stupid choice of an outfit. in his defense, max had told him this was the style of california, and he was too worried about the trip to worry about whether she was being honest.

when mike finally turned to jabbing his fingers into wills side, he was met with an elbow to the stomach, making him choke on his breath.

“sorry,” will said, not sounding even the slightest bit apologetic.

“me too,” mike murmured, eyes on wills hands that he was wringing together nervously. hesitantly, he put his hand on his knee, palm down, and stretched out his pinkie towards will, who sighed long and hard before reciprocating the action, brushing their pinky fingers together lightly before pulling back away.

it wasn’t quite an apology accepted, but it was the start of one. mike smiled down at his hand, not risking a glance at will lest it remind him of his irritation, and didnt bother patching up the cracks in his walls.

[waterfallofspace]

HI HELLO!! local lurker here. Im not super good with tumblr so idk if i need to like... Censor names in asks and if i shouldve im sorry in advance!! But just. In this time of national crisis (bsd chapter 109 adaptation) ive come bearing a cute scenario. Just as a treat bc i feel like weve been through enough okay.

Anyways im imagining established skk for this, and scene: ada office. Setting my stage here i just love being dramatic sorry. Dazai is also being dramatic and arguing on the phone in the scene, and the other detectives are getting worried bc theyre really not used to him sounding so angry. he goes "okay. Fine." And hangs up and atsushi hesitantly comes up to him to ask what happened and dazais very serious like "theres been an emergency. Chuuya went to work sick" and so he ropes poor, poor innocent atsushi into helping him trick chuuya into coming to HIM to the ada office and he makes atsushi like..... Idk call chuuya and tell him dazais been uhhh idk injured or maybe as a callback to the entrance exam he says theres a bomb or whatever. Anyways chuuya comes in busting through one of the windows and gets ambushed and then taken care of the end <3

Omg hi!!!! I usually censor names myself, but I don't mind them not being censored in asks, so no worries about it!

NON I LOVE THIS AJDOISKG!!! After... that episode/chapter... we deserve some treats T~T BE DRAMATIC!!! Being dramatic makes everything more enjoyable!~

God just... D/azai actually having ~The Emotions~ when he's on the call, and the A/DA not being used to that, and then him sounding SO serious but it's!!! C/huuya is sick!!! He needs to help his Chibi!!!

And roping in A/tsushi, who'd just wanna help in any way he can- but... lying to a Port Mafia member...? Him calling to say D/azai's been hurt, when it's C/huuya who needs to be cared for!!!! ToT

Then of course the ambush with care, god C/huuya would be soooo pissed, but maybe secretly feel a bit happy too. I mean- someone cares, even if that someone has to be that bastard.

(plus I can totally see some sweet moments with him and K/enji, and maybe a little with Y/osano too. Both of whom I totally see being good friends with C/huuya, in their own ways~)

Aghhhh thank you for sharing this!!! It's absolutely adorable~

[azirelll]

Story i dont have i title yet (but i should) pt. 2

We luckily didn’t need long to carry everything since we were on the ground floor. Its bigger than I expected, it has a living room, a big bedroom that’s the same size as the living room without the access to the kitchen, a room for an office or kids room I guess, a toilette and a small garden that also works as a backdoor. Everything looked cozy unlike the places where I lived with my parents. I didn’t really see the apartment properly from the pictures since I was pretty down before moving in. She told me to treat myself like I was at home (dad joke) while she went to the living room setting up some things. I looked around and the apartment looked definitely not like it was worth 1000.- a month, more like 3000.- I asked her about it afterwards.

Sally: "Ohh yeah, you mean it because of the furniture right"

Salva: "Not only that but also because ground floor, 3 rooms and a small garden"

Sally: "Have you seen the news lately? This zone of Bern has a problem with organized crime, but don’t worry, we can say we are protected."

Salva: "So we also need to pay the "mafia tax" now?"

Sally: "Yeah but there is no problem with that since we bought the apartment, not rented it, check the offer I shared you again, and also we got a little discount"

I take out my phone and with a surprised look I see the shared offer on imo scout, we really bought the apartment for 1000.- each.

Sally: "Bruh did you really think it was this much for rent, I have a good job but not that good"

Salva: "Anyways, what do you work as"

And like that our long conversation began as we turned on the tv since we both can’t stand being lonely like this. We both come from loud and busy families, and both work as receptionists at logistic companies. She also asked me: “didn’t you say you studied computer science?” There I felt like lying again like I usually do but this time I felt I had to tell the whole story. So, I told her how I got kicked out of the IMS Basel, found a job at Roche and ended up working for the logistic branch in Solothurn. “I didn’t know you work for the Swiss Arasaka full time now” she said in a jokey tone, I replied:” And I didn’t know you played Cyberpunk, but yes I work for them, they simply pay pretty well”.

We got hungry later and we were wondering what to eat the first evening alone since, yeah, the kitchen was nice and modern with a large fridge with an ice maker, like I had it when I lived in Italy, was there but the food wasn’t. Out of thin air she said: "Should we order Uber?”” Isn’t the shipping expensive and takes extremely long to arrive?” I respond, she replies: “That’s what you heard, looks like you haven’t ordered from Uber either”. We both stare awkwardly at each other for a second or two and then I say: “I mean we are independent now, no need to fear for parents monitoring everything we buy, so yeah lets order Burger King”, I see the sunny smile on her face that it seemed like her inner child just woke up after a long time, we were both smiling like idiots. We ordered 2 menus and a lot of onion rings since we both liked those. My theory about the deliveries. It came an hour after we ordered, it already got 10pm as it arrived at our door even if the nearest Burger King wasn’t that far away from us.  

Anyway, we on the marble island in the kitchen without saying a word, we were both to eat mostly alone and disliked doing it together with our families for… reasons then went to do our other things like organizing clothes, putting my laptop on charge since It died in the time I came here. When I was in the room I saw that we both share that and a double bed that looked pretty comfortable at first, it was kind of new to me since I never slept with a girl before (friendly reminder that my girlfriend lives in America) she also noticed that while she was changing clothes while I was laying out my things in the closet, but she seemed totally fine with that and thinks it totally platonic, even though she had a noticeable smile, but she is just happy I guess. I put some more comfortable clothes on since I was in cargo pants the whole day I spent in my new home. I’m still not used to calling this “home”, I’m only here since a couple hours with someone I only knew for a few months through text. However, I’m not this social with new people I met in real life, but she gave me a different feeling, kind of like we are long lost twins. As were in bed, we both stared at our phones like I usually would do. To break the ice a bit I started talking

Salva: “So, summer holidays are ending soon, aren’t they?”

Sally: “Yeah so it looks like, at least we could spend the most of it with our friends and family”

Salva: “And ending it with just friends”

Sally: “So you are saying I’m your friend, even if we only knew each other for 4 months before deciding to spend a good part of our lives living together?”

Salva: “Yeah and we can call each other “friends” and not “online friends” anymore”

She smiled again, I think it’s kind of rare seeing her smiling after connecting all the dots regarding her.

Sally: “I’m getting sleepy, I’m going to sleep now, goodnight Salva”

Sally: “Goodnight”.

I also lay my phone down and put it on the wireless charger on the night table making sure its charging, so I don’t wake up tomorrow with a dead phone.

[leviiackrman]

OCs as Greek Gods;

I was tagged by my lovelies @dihardys @sstewyhosseini + @multiverse-of-themind to use this uquiz for some kids, and can I just say - they’re INSANELY accurate! Thank you m’loves🤍

Tagging: @chuckhansen @queennymeria @indorilnerevarine @florbelles @risingsh0t @blackreaches @simonxriley @confidentandgood @arklay @shellibisshe @jackiesarch @marivenah @thomrainer @duffmckagans @helblazer @starsandskies @jennystahl @prometheas @brujah @shadowglens @trvelyans @denerims @kingsroad @arthrmorgann + @cptcassian

Hades;

being a sibling is great, you share everything, your other brothers get the sea and the sky, you get the land of the dead. cool!!! thats fine. you're just doing your own thing anyway, i mean seriously every time you see what other people are doing and you're like 'well fuck my life may not be perfect but at least i don't have that level of drama'. so that's nice. you keep doing you

Hermes;

you literally were born and then invented mischeif. like you were a newborn and you immidiately inbented theivery and then lying. go you. you are the living embodiment of chaotic neutral. Yes people are so annoyed by you sometimes, but you are so unbelievably charming that you get away with everything. who doesn't love a charming rogue

Apollo;

honestly im much kinder in all the other ones but you have... such bottom energy. I mean really. you've got the whole homosexual tragic romance thing going on. Its not bad! its just i feel like you invented tragic relationships. congrats on being good at literally everything though, its totally fair that you get music, poetry, culture, truth, prophesy etc etc etc. oh yeah and the epitome of beauty. leave something for the rest of us huh?

Hera;

there are a lot of people who really don't like you i'm afraid, it comes with the whole tricking people, turning your husbands' various lovers into creatures (occasionally keeping those creatures captive on islands), making your son murder his family- But that's fine because you don't care what other people think of you. They have no idea what they're talking about, its tough being you. You know what you're doing and that's all that matters. Don't listen to the people trying to keep you down (unless murder is involved and then maybe listen to them).

[yunick]

i've told myself that i didn't like you anymore. honestly i feel like im lying to myself. ever since i told u my age everything has been dead between us. we were doing so fine and i fucked up, technically it was the right thing to do because i can't imagine lying to you abt that for a long time. i have had many crushes after you but i acc search for you in them. p (my crush rn) the first time i saw him i thought "hey he could be my crush, he kinda looks like m too" that was the first reason that came into my mind to like him. bc he was like you, totally like you. i have never thought of missing you again but here i am currently crying and rereading our old chats. honestly ang weird ng mga chats natin dati but like at least i was happy, i've changed drastically. i've gotten more quiet, i absolutely hate dc now bc it reminds me of you and if i do use it i backread our chats. i can't move on from you. idk why. i think i said this before but u had a big impact in my life even if i was -- when you met me, no one has gave me mixed signals like you, no one has made me risk my life getting a beating stealing my laptop while being grounded just to talk to them, always log in on dc every other time of the day to check if they chatted, no one has made me buy a ---- and think of them everytime i see one. i acc feel so lonely and boring now. especially nung december? i got no merry christmas or happy new year from my friends. i'm trying my best to not think of you thst much anymore but tonight i couldnt help it. when i saw a girl on ur pfp i was js AHHH ganon i honestly dont want to get back tgt, i wanna become friends again. we're acquaintances rn and i hate it. udk how happy i was when u replied to me when i said i was going batangas OMG my keyboard memorised it😭😭 anyway imy :> shld i send this? im feeling risky:>>

i sent this to him april 23, 2024, 1:45 am.

i nvr thought he would see it so i said told myself na isesend ko tas idedelete agad agad. but i was wrong he saw it. when he asked me what i sent my heart was beating so fast. i couldn't believe what just happened

i couldn't believe that he saw it and read a few sentences. he told me that he wasn't done reading and that i was rude for deleting it. so i asked if i should send it again, he said yes. after he read everything he asked me, "why me eunice?" i was stunned, i didn't know what to say or do. and he told me that he gave so many reasons for me to stop chasing him? idk wtv i was doing ig. i acc don't regret sending the paragraph bc i wanted him to know how i felt. wtv i had for him was all in my notes and since i was feeling risky idk i sent it.

if u ever see this, i'm so grateful for you to be a part of my life, for being my first ever crush, mu, kalandian. it's all stupid but i will forever cherish it. malay mo mag meet tayo one day? eh delulu. anyway thank you is all that i can say, m.

[bysaber]

ummmm HIYAAAAA, is this SABER??? im jkkk , im so loving the new theme, im like vibing with it so hard you have no idea. the colours really compliment each other. im like so so so so sorry I haven't been in touch, I had so many ASSignments to do that my screen time became a mere hour and that was like catching up with my family. but lemme just say I just read/reread every single ficmas post today and mmmmh with a little cup of tea ( I kept going back for more bc your fics are so comfy to me) by my side it totally soothed me. and I just wanna say if anyones disappointed in you for dropping something that made you feel stressed and anxious , TRUST!!! , they can come fight me anytime of the day bc im DOWNNN. im so happy and honestly proud of the 15 days you accomplished because when I say that they were all beautifully written like , im NOT LYING and I could never, I have so many ideas in my head but honestly scared to even write a single paragraph and publish it bc I am my own biggest hater and critic. anyways I don't mean to put the spotlight on me but rather show you that im not just saying this for the sake of saying but I truly do mean it. Also Im not really accustomed to work without holiday since I haven't begun working yet but isn't Christmas like a worldwide holiday, and they still didn't give you a holiday???

also I just realised I never really introduced myself, i have like this thing where I never interact with my blog because it doesn't have much reblogs or works bc im like one of those kids who got introduced to the concept of the internet at like their late teen years so it took me a while to figure out how this app works or any app for that matter (yeah so like opposite of an iPad baby, we exist! ) so I think ppl might find me suspicious.. idk there's something wrong with the way I think haha.

but I totally would LOVVEEE to be mutuals with you, if you'd like the same.

this must be so much to read, sorry I went a lil overboard but yeah all in all, cant wait for all of your future upcoming pics which I know will blow my mind again and again and again. ( also I don't want this to seem like im putting pressure on you to release fics faster GOD NO, I just mean like I could wait an eternity if it means I could read your work!)

so wish you the ultimate best, saber, I hope everything is well in your life both personal and work and if not, I hope it all turns out to be fine and all in your favour. >>>>>3333

HIYAAA BOO <3

First of all, you don't need to apologize for disappearing! Life is a pain in the ass sometimes and we can't dive into our fantasy world (tumblr), I TOTALLY GET IT!!! But I hope everything worked out for you and that now you have time to enjoy some free time!!!

(more under the cut)

My old theme was getting on my NERVES, I wasn't satisfied (hehe) with it but I'm really happy with this one. And I brought the true Saber to life. I'm glad you liked it <3 it'll probably stick around.

IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY THAT MY FICS MAKE YOU FEEL THIS WAY!!!!!! It's enough to make me want to keep writing because knowing one person appreciates what I write already makes everything worth it. I would LOVE to know who you are and become mutuals, and it's fine if your blog isn't filled with things.

At some point, I also was a "ghost" tumblr user.

Like, for years.

I guess I've been here since the SuperWhoLock era but only started interacting in the past three years -- then decided to create a new account and start again. I've been reading/writing fanfic as far as I can remember, but that was in my mother language and I had to gather so much courage to try it in english. But I'm happy I did. And I would love to hear your ideas and maybe see what you can write <3 it's never too late.

I'm with a few fics ideas including a series and I'm really looking forward to write them all, I hope you like them when the time comes!! And don't worry, I don't feel pressured at all <3

About my work!!! Yes, the holidays are worldwide as far as I'm concerned but since my job has a flexible working hours and it's remote, it sounds good but I actually never stop working. I work with advertising and we spend money to upload ads and even for every time someone clicks in our ads, so I have to check the data from time to time to make sure the incoming compensates the money we're spending. If not, I have to take it down and change the campaign 100% it's maddening

Ok now I feel like I TALKED TOO MUCH!!! I'm sorry. But thank you for your message and all the love you always give me, I have no words for you but I really really appreciate it every time you pop in my inbox <3 and please if you feel comfortable let's be moots.

[tohightotry]

Life update/vent dump

Both my fiancé and I broke up with our girlfriend a couple weeks ago cause she was manipulative and abusive(mainly verbally/emotionally but she did beat my fiancé and break his tooth and kept fantasizing with a smile about him fucking up enough in her mind to justify future beatings) she’s blaming her bpd that she gave us zero warning about her having before we got together and didn’t let us know at any point in the last year til we ended things(we could have approached things differently to try and make the relationship healthy and known that we weren’t being paranoid about the abuse happening until it got so out of hand and completely un-ignorable and so in our faces that it was in his friends faces as well, they were begging him to end it and make me end it as well, I wish he had told me this to cause I really thought it was me being paranoid from previous bad relationships) after researching a ton it seems almost every person with it is like that(being manipulative and lying is part of the diagnosis) unless they get serious help and keep that help throughout their life they will always be that way, they may even think they’re 100% innocent and refuse to believe otherwise. she is starting therapy so let’s hope she sticks with it since she wants to try and be friends in several months but honestly I don’t want to be close to her anymore cause I went back to my unhealthy codependent abusing me is totally fine I deserve it ass the moment I met her and she started her manipulation. And my fiancé had it even worse since her bpd chose him as her “favorite person” which basically is just the person someone with bpd unhealthily obsesses over to the point they think that person should only talk to them and ignore literally everything else, including their job and family. Like I don’t even want to get into the shit she did to us, and how my pathetic ass just let it happen for so long. Anyways I also found out my fiancé was emotionally cheating on me for the last five years and exchanging nudes with his ex across the country so he and I are working thro that as well and he will also be starting therapy soon to work thro his issues and figure out why he did that as he doesn’t know why and wants to know for both of our sake and make sure he doesn’t do anything like that again. That being said I think he and I can work thro this, hopefully, we also plan on couples therapy sessions. If he does it again or disrespects this relationship in any other way I will leave him, I am back in my healing era bitches and I will stay in it this time.

Already doing so much better after the break up and finally getting her to give us some space which took over a week of her telling us she’d go no contact with both of us for several months like we all agreed despite her continuing to message my fiancé all day every single day begging him to stay with her. Of course she didn’t go a whole week without trying the “im already healed so much after a single therapy session and this isn’t another ploy for attention I promise I’m all better and I know I can make him take me back even tho I know you’re both opposed to that” bullshit which is what really cements the we can’t even be friends for me cause the manipulation and abuse will never stop. Her goal will always be to try and get him completely to herself, so that he has no one else not even a friend or coworker he’s allowed to talk to.

He also got me a tofu press and i highly recommend pressing your tofu overnight cause 30-60mins doesn’t do shit but overnight is like buying the super firm tofu but it’s like $2 less a block 👍

[barbiewritesstuff]

So my brain is a lost cause at this point there's just neurons and random sparks but nothing is computing

Like that ever shuts me up though

You were going to pray and you got smutty thoughts because of me !! I shouldn't but I'm totally cackling like a deranged hyena rn im sorry xD

ANYWAY

FUC- THAT WAS TO DIE FOR you made it so much better than it was in my head !!

Now I know you said you’d walk in afterwards but can you imagine being in the meeting? SHIT SHIT SHIT YOU MADE IT BETTER THAT WOULD BE ... FUC- IDEK ?!? THAT WOULD BE SERIOUS MAVERICK LEVEL DANGEROUS BEHAVIOUR THOUGH! THE GLARE CYCLONE SENT ALONE WOULD RENDER YOU TO ASH AT THE SPOT

He’s standing there looking fine - See it ain't even your fault who can resist that man?!?

“Don’t know if my uniform is up to code Admiral…” THAT IS SO CORNY I WOULD TOTALLY SAY THAT THO CACKLING AGAIN

(you’re saved under ‘Brat’ because that’s what you are) OF COURSE IM A BRAT DUHH

Maverick is going over everything he’s done this week just to check whether he’s going to get screamed at, Warlock is shooting daggers at Maverick, the entire team (you pretend because you’re a little shit) is mentally sending their family goodbye letters and exchanging worried glances. I CAN ACTUALLY PICTURE THIS ENTIRE SCENE AND ALL THEIR EXPRESSIONS AND I AM DEAD THIS IS PEAK COMEDY I WANT THIS SO BAD XDDDDD

Hondo, poor, sweet, sweet angel Hondo, who has just accidentally had a very good look at what the Admiral received via text is honestly reconsidering his career because Admiral Simpson is a possessive man. If he finds out Hondo knows, he will kill him. OH FUCK BERNIE YOU'RE DEAD MAN. RUN. V V V V FAR AWAY. (THE ADMIRAL'S GONNA BE A BIT BUSY ANYWAY WINKWINK) poor Bernie tho??? He's probably traumatised for life?? He didn't wanna know that about you?? And definitely not the Admiral hell he won't be looking him in the eye for a month xD Also the image of possessive Beau is just *so good*.

I mean you give him the best performance of your life, especially since he tells you he’s not going to touch you for a week as punishment. NO SHIT DONT DO THAT I'M SORRRYYYY

In conclusion:

I AM DEAD

Glad you got some amusement from my predicament this morning XD

Okay so Cyclone's glare? It almost makes you regret the entire operation. I mean you think the man is going to reach across the conference room and make you pay for it right then and there.

Imean you're ready to beg for forgiveness as soon as he cocks his head sighly to the side and shoots you the look, but at the same time, you also think that Beau is one of those rare people who get hotter the angrier they are. Or maybe that's just because you know what happens when he does get mad?

I mean, let's not kid ourselves, you're pissing him off on purpose, because when he gets past a point, Beau just snaps. And last time he snapped he railed you against his desk until you could no longer speak. You're absolutely trying to recreate that.

But you regret dragging the team into it (not Rooster though, he deserves the twenty minutes of fear he's going to live through for trapping you in a conversation about Star Wars with resident expert Fanboy last Tuesday) because they look like they're absolutely shitting themselves. Especially Hondo.

Because you know he's seen the picture. When Beau opens his phone and sees the picture, Bernie happens to be looking down and he stutters. No one else notices, and you're almost certain it's a coincidence when Hondo briefly glances at you with such a shocked expression. You know what he's thinking. He's already planning the purchase of a foreign passport on the black market, becaude he absolutely can never set foot in San Diego again!! He will never be able to speak to the Admiral without having that stupid picture flash before his eyes!!

And of course Beau's lying through his teeth when he tells you he won't touch you, but he has to make you believe that so you get desperate. He's absolutely going to be balls deep inside you by Wednesday because he needs to relieve the stress Maverick causes him on the daily. And maybe he needs to punish you one more time, you know, just so he knows you got the message.

EDIT: needed to fix so many typos because this prompt just made me dumb, I love it. I may have missed some but you know...

[jakesimfromstatefarm]

how to fake date your best friend | jake sim

✰ summary: the rules were simple -

pretend to be the boyfriend of you, his best friend who wants the attention of their crush, for a week and a week only

no kissing (bc gross cooties amirite) allowed, unless needed in times of desperate measure 

and no matter what, absolutely, most definitely, do not fall in love. 

simple, right?

well apparently not. because news flash––jake's already broken one of the rules. 

and to give you a hint, it's neither rule 1 or 2.

✰ pairing: jake sim x y/n [ft. members of enha!] 

✰ genre: fluff, comedy | fakingdating!au, highschool!au, bestfriend!au, friends to lovers

✰ warnings: cursing, high-schoolers doing dumb highschool things, underage drinking (pls don’t actually do any of this irl), jake being a certified simp, it’s LONG (i’m so sorry), cheesy kithes bc im a sucker for kithes ( ˘ ³˘)♥

✰ wc: a whopping 9.5k

✰ a/n: it’s finally finished :’)))))) it ended up being much longer than i wanted but i had so much fun writing the characters that i got carried away lolol anywaysss i hope you guys enjoy it,,,i got a little unmotivated during the process bc i didn’t know if it was good or not but here it is heh (ෆ˙ᵕ˙ෆ)♡ 

Tuesday, December 8th

Jake Sim lives a simple life. 

He likes to think he leads the normal, stereotypical life of a teenage boy. Has decent grades, plays soccer after school, skateboards around the neighborhood, has a best friend who he’s desperately in love with, and has a stable group of friends. 

Okay, maybe not so simple, because this boy would physically launch himself to the moon and drill at its surface to collect moon dust for you if you asked him to––despite his deadly fear of combusting in outer space. 

But that fear doesn’t even compare to his worst one yet: not having you in his life. 

And so, he decided to just repress any and all feelings he’s had for you ever since he discovered them in middle school, when he realized he hated seeing you go to the eighth grade dance with a date––that wasn’t him. 

He decided that he wasn’t going to risk losing a life-long friendship over some dumb, teenage boy feelings. 

They were probably powered by his testosterone anyways. Yeah, that’s totally it.

He’s totally not in love with you. 

So yes, he lives a pretty normal life. Every day is the same as the last, and tomorrow will be the same as today. But he likes it like that––he doesn’t want anything to change. 

Especially not now, when he finds himself content with every aspect of his life (okay maybe except for his history grade, god, does he hate history). 

So, it catches him off guard when you arrive at the group’s usual lunch table, located outside in your school’s courtyard, looking as excited as ever. 

Jake’s the only one at the table so far. The remaining usually showed up late––Heeseung spends his first half of lunch tutoring freshmen for community service hours (but the poor boy has no idea what he’s doing), Sunghoon is probably stuck in line in the cafeteria again (he always forgets to pack his own lunch), and Jay is...well actually, no one ever knows where Jay comes from. He’s a special one. 

It catches Jake even more off guard when you skip over any greeting a normal person would give, and start speaking at one hundred words per second. 

And that catches us up to the present.

“Y-You want me to what?” Jake’s stuttering as you stare at him with your hopeful eyes from across the lunch table. 

Despite the expression planted on your face, which screams your excitement for your “brilliant, amazing, genius, Einstein-could-never” idea (or whatever other words you used to describe it––Jake can’t exactly recall the specific terms you used, they all came out of your mouth too fast), you don’t respond to his question of bafflement. You continue to stare at him, awaiting his response. Jake could compare the look on your face right now to a puppy looking up at its owner, eagerly waiting for a treat. You know, tongue out and all. 

He swallows the lump that’s lodged in this throat (is that the sandwich he’s having, or his nerves?) and continues to give you his look of confusion laced with a nervous smile because surely, you’re joking. 

You grab what’s left of your sandwich from his hands and take your own bite. Somewhere in between you arriving at the table and now, Jake’s managed to steal the sandwich you brought today. You did make the best chicken sandwiches, in his defense. 

“Well? It’s only for the week! And I promise you, after one week, if nothing happens––if he doesn’t make a move or anything––I’ll move on from him like you’ve been telling me to.” Your words are muffled from you savoring your sandwich, or what’s left of it anyways. (Mental note to self: don’t share your lunch with Jake ever again.) 

When Jake still doesn’t respond (you’ve truly gotten this poor boy paralyzed), you find it as a sign to continue. 

“I think it’s the perfect plan. Plus, if it doesn’t work out, it’ll be like the universe is telling me to finally move on, right?” 

Wrong. 

Jake has been encouraging you to move on from your crush because well, if we’re being honest here, he selfishly wants you to himself. Even if it wasn’t romantically.

Preferably, he would kill to get to be the one who holds your hand in the hall, call you cheesy pet names, post disgustingly cute couple pics for the ‘gram––but for the sake of potentially ruining his relationship with you, he’ll just have to settle with the role of being your best friend. 

(And he’s totally fine with that! Totally. Yup.) 

But he didn’t think that you moving on would only be a mere possible outcome (that may not even happen!) from whatever this stunt is you wanna pull. 

Said stunt: Pretend to date one another and hope it catches the eye of a certain someone you have your eye on: Park Sunghoon. 

Ah yes, Park Sunghoon. The previously mentioned one who’s probably still in line waiting to get his lunch as we speak. 

Park Sunghoon, the tall, kind, intelligent, charming young boy that everyone knows. And if anyone didn’t know him, they most definitely knew of him. He wasn’t hard to miss in the halls; everything about him just radiates perfection. 

If you plucked a random high-schooler from the halls of this school and interviewed them on the Park Sunghoon, they’d say you’d be lucky enough if the quiet boy so much as sparked a conversation with you, even if it was about what last night’s chemistry homework was. 

Well if that were true, then you and the rest of the boys would be considered lottery winners. 

How that happened, how the four of you dysfunctional beings earned his friendship, the world may never know. However, Jake is fully convinced that this was the universe’s way of playing a cruel joke on him. 

For as long as Jake could remember, it’s always been just the two of you. You and Jake. Jake and you. (With the exception of Heeseung and Jay, of course, who came along in middle school) 

In fact, your earliest memory of Jake was when he peed his pants in the kindergarten during nap time. You would know, you had the privilege of sharing a sleeping mat with him that one fateful day and in result...let’s just say the smell didn’t wear off from your clothes until a week later. Five-year-old you didn’t forgive five-year-old Jake for the longest time. 

And since then, you’ve been attached by the hip. And Jake liked it like that. Jake didn’t need anyone else in his life (with the exception of Leila) if he had you. He had found his home within you, and he didn’t plan on sharing his space anytime soon. 

Nevertheless, the universe had a completely different idea for the two of you. 

Sunghoon came into the picture last year, towards the end of the school year. Despite being the new kid, he found his way into your cherished friend group and naturally, the five of you grew as close as friends could be. 

That was the problem. Jake wanted to hate Sunghoon, to despise him for being the one that you had heart eyes for, but he couldn’t. 

Not only was Sunghoon one of Jake’s closest friends, but he didn’t want to ruin the dynamic of the friend group. After you, the three chaotic boys were the next most important people in Jake’s life. 

And so, we have the typical love triangle plot that every coming-of-age movie follows. Of course, this is all unbeknownst to you––you may be intelligent and a people-person, but oh boy can you not see the heart eyes your very own best friend has for you. 

“It’ll be easier than you think, really! Look, we can even set boundaries or rules or whatever,” you propose, as if you’re trying to get him to sign a contract. 

Rules to a fake relationship? We’re not living in a Netflix romcom, are we? 

“Okay rule number 1: it’ll only be for a week and a week only, rule number 2: we don’t have to do anything too couple-ly like...” you pause to wonder for a second. 

“Like PDA or anything! You know, unless we really need to convince him,” you casually add. When he responds with radio silence and stares at you with absolute concern painted all over his face, you cough. “Jake, I’m joking.” 

Right. Of course. Obviously. 

“And of course, just try not to fall in love with me, it’ll be hard, I know,” you send a playful wink his way. 

Too late. Turns out it’s not that hard. Jake would know. 

Jake continues to stare at you in hesitation. Yeah, you’ve had your fair share of crazy ideas (that Jake always find himself agreeing to––the poor boy just can’t seem to say no to you), but fake dating you?

Jake is sure he wouldn’t be able to pull it off without slowly destroying himself. He’d just have to say no, he’s sure you can find someone else to do it for you. 

Yes, that’s it, just say no. 

Jake has to keep some of his pride in tact. 

Jake does not say no. 

He doesn’t know what went wrong. His mind said one thing, but his words said another. 

To be fair, Jake’s actions have always been influenced by his heart, not his brain, anyways. And when it comes to you, you bet it’ll be coming from his heart. 

So here he was now, under the stare of three equally shocked and confused guys across from you and him at the lunch table, your fingers intertwined with his.

Just a few seconds ago, you had spotted the rest of the lunch bunch approaching the table, and you quickly grabbed Jake’s hand and scooted in closer to him.  

Now here you were, explaining to your friends of your sudden relationship.  

Jake is too zoned out to even physically pick up your explanation. Something along the lines of "we’ve been dating for a while but didn’t want to tell you guys yet." From the feeling of your hand clutched tightly into his and your body right up next to him, his mind was short-circuiting. 

How is he supposed to last an entire week of this if he couldn't handle innocent hand holding? Hand holding? God, what are we, back in the fifth grade?  

Two minutes into this scheme and Jake's mind has already downgraded itself to a fifth grader's.  

Jake mentally scolds himself for giving in, this was not a good idea. 

It takes Jake approximately 12 hours to conclude that this stunt of yours may, actually, be a good idea. He knows this because approximately 12 hours after the events surrounding lunch, he receives a text from you: 

y/n [12:03AM]: thanks again for doing this for me jake

y/n [12:03AM]: ur actually the best

y/n [12:04AM]: ew ok that was cheesy but really i owe u a big one <333

Following your thread of texts is a really close up photo of you widely smiling into the camera. A smile so big, Jake’s convinced your face was probably in pain after taking that picture. 

Anyone else might’ve thought the photo looked borderline insane but because Jake’s Jake, aka a simpᵗᵐ for you, he comes to the conclusion that it’s singlehandedly the cutest thing he’s ever seen in the entire world. 

After quickly saving the selfie into his phone, Jake tells himself that maybe this won’t be a bad thing after all. I mean, anything that makes you smile like that meant it has to be a good idea, right? 

Spoken like a true simp. 

Plus, dating you––fake dating you––is pretty much the same as it was before. He already spends most of his days with you to begin with. Now, it’s just with added displays of affection. For show, obviously. Obviously. 

And look, if Jake will never get to actually be with you, then he’ll take what he can get. And if that meant fake dating you, well, he reasons that it’s better than nothing at all. 

Wednesday, December 9th 

Jake’s playing with the rings on your right hand and you’re in the middle of dramatically telling the lunch table about the infuriating Karen you had to deal with at work the other day when Jay comes up with a grin you all know a little too well. 

“Okay that grin means one of two things: you finally grew the balls to ask out that poor girl you’ve been teasing all year or you have something planned that we won’t like,” you interrupt your story when you catch Jay’s sly expression, evoking a chuckle from Jake, who’s now found a new distraction with the bracelets perches on your wrist. 

“Excuse you, I’ll have you know that I did ask her out. It just so happens that she’s currently ‘in between boyfriends’ whatever that means. Ouch, by the way,” Jay feigns hurt from your comment by clutching the area above his heart through his shirt. Ever the drama queen. “But yes, I do have something planned. And no, it’s not a bad idea.” 

Jay squeezes his way in between Sunghoon and Heeseung from across you and begins to pull out his own lunch. Everyone’s eyes follow him as he settles in because as bad as his unknown idea may be, you’re all still curious on what this boy has to say. 

“Well are you going to elaborate or...” Heeseung speaks up for everyone after you all mentally debate one another through darting eyes on who’s going to have to bite Jay’s silent bait.

Jay then forcefully sets both hands on his table, which elicits a little jump from you as you go for a bite of your sandwich. Adorable, Jake tells himself. 

“My parents are out of town this weekend. We all know what that means...” 

Yes. We do know what that means. The four of you have seen this scenario play out many times, a little too many times for your own good. 

This meant one of Jay’s infamous house parties that he always throws whenever his parents go out of town. And because his parents are hot-shot CEOs of an important company whose name you don’t remember (it’s nothing personal, your brain can only handle so much information and this physics exam you were studying for took up 90% of your brain capacity at the moment), they’re out of town often. 

And along with Jay’s parties comes chaos. Lots of it. And that’s because...well, it’s safe to say that despite the many school-wide presentations the police officers of your school have held in the auditorium on why you shouldn’t drink underage, Jay’s parents’ liquor cabinet always seems to find itself missing many a few bottles after each party. But we don’t talk about that. Shush. 

Almost simultaneously, everyone at the table lets out a groan, much to Jay’s disappointment. 

“C’mon guys! It’s been a while since anything’s fun happened to this school, think of all the sad students in that building right now,” he extends a finger whole-ass arm and points at your school, “who are in dire need of fun and a little...” he punctuates his sentence with the hand motion of chugging down a drink, followed with a gulping sound elicited from his tongue clicking. 

You roll your eyes along with everyone else. Don’t be like Jay, kids. Listen to those police officers. 

“Jay, it’s midterm season! I have an exam on Monday and I definitely do not want to spend the nights before wasted,” you give him an apologetic look. As crazy as Jay is, you do feel bad nonetheless. The boy just wants to have fun. 

Your response is followed up with similar comments from around the table. 

“I’m helping y/n study” 

“I have an important skating performance on Sunday” 

“Uh...my hamster died?” (ok Heeseung panicked, don’t blame the guy)

Ignoring that last excuse of an excuse, Jay continues his debate nonetheless. “Just come for the sake of it! No one’s saying you have to get wasted. Pleaseeee for me?” 

Jay throws these parties so often, you’re not sure why he’s so set on making sure you’re all going to be there. Well, I guess who wouldn’t want their closest friends to be at their own party? 

That and, Jay needs to make sure his friends are there to stop him from doing anything stupid. We all know this boy has had enough embarrassing moments to last him a lifetime. 

Everyone at the table gives each other the same hesitant look. Heeseung is the first to give in, “Oh fuck it. Sure, count me in.” 

Jay’s fist pumping the air before turning to Sunghoon with the most hopeful eyes. 

Sunghoon simply sighs in return. “Alright okay, I’ll bite. But if you vomit on my shoes again, I’m out the door.” Jay’s finger is automatically drawing a cross over his heart as a promise to not ruin Sunghoon’s Nikes again. 

He then looks to you with puppy eyes. 

You, who's already staring back at Jay with a stoic look in your eyes, are stubborn and (unlike the previous weaklings) are not as easy to convince. And somehow, this began an unannounced staring contest between the two of you, a contest to see who would budge first. This isn't an uncommon occurrence between you and Jay, but the rest of the boys are still on the edges of their seats watching this duel.

Jake casually wraps an arm around your shoulder and you’re brought in close, but still undeterred from your death-stare match with the boy across from you. 

If it’s not obvious enough, Jake’s really gotten into his role of being your boyfriend, despite it only being 24 hours since he last froze at your touch. Character development, you’ll give him that. 

You almost forget he’s faking it for a quick second. And for an even quicker second, you imagine he wasn’t faking it. And you swear you feel butterflies in your stomach at that thought. 

Weird. 

You mentally shake the thought out of your head. Priorities first, aka, beating Jay in this staring contest. 

“Fuck,” you stutter when you finally blink, admitting defeat to a grinning Jay. “Okay, okay, I’ll THINK about it. I’ll let you know.” 

Not exactly the answer Jay was looking for, but he’ll take it. Better than a no. 

He turns to Jake next, knowing there’s no way Jake will turn down a party. Just like Jay, the boy loves himself a good party. 

But–

But because Jake would take your physics exam this Monday for you if you asked, because Jake would bungee jump in the Grand Canyon without a safety net below him if you asked, because Jake would fake date you to make your crush jealous for you if you asked, he doesn’t hesitate in his answer this time around: “Same as y/n, I’ll let you know.” 

Jay looks at Jake. Then back at you, who he’s still clinging onto like a koala to a tree. Then back at Jake. “You two are gross. Admittedly cute. But gross.” 

You look up at the boy next to you to see him already grinning at you. 

For the first time today, you find yourself agreeing with Jay. 

Admittedly cute. 

Thursday, December 10th 

You are having a bad day. 

You’re having the mother of bad days. 

Not only is it midterm season, but you still have all your regular weekly assignments to finish before Friday hits. So as a natural-born procrastinator does, you stayed up all last night trying to get a good amount of work done because what’s better than cramming all your work the night before it’s due? Doing it two nights before it’s due. 

Well apparently it wasn’t such a good idea. Because now, here you were, frantically throwing on whatever articles of clothing you find nearest to you because you slept through all your alarms. 

You’re lucky enough to make it through your school’s doors right as the second bell rings, even if you did look like you just walked straight out of a zombie apocalypse. 

You’re not so lucky when you find out your first class of the day, calculus, had a pop quiz. A pop quiz on the only unit you just happened to know absolutely nothing about. 

To top things off, you forgot to pack your lunch during this morning’s frenzy, meaning you’re automatically stuck sharing with Jake.

And because his mother started making him pack his own food out of a lesson of responsibility (she said something along the lines of: “Jake, you’re about to be in college and you don’t know how to pack a decent meal”), he only has a plain PB&J sandwich and a pack of Scooby-Doo gummies in his bag today (because newsflash, he still doesn’t know how to pack a decent meal). 

Not that you could care less at the moment, you were too preoccupied with catching up on your assignments to even eat. And if any of the boys noticed your zombie-like state during lunch, they did a good job of not mentioning it. They knew better than to bother an irritated y/n. 

Somehow, you make it through the entire school day and your after-school meeting for environmental club (save the trees!) in one piece. As you finally walk out of the school building, you exhale, automatically feeling lighter. At least the hard part of your day was done. 

Now you just had to wait for Jake to finish soccer practice, which usually ended around the same time as your club, and he can drive you home, where you can continue being irritated with your day in the privacy of your own space. 

You wait on the steps of the school’s entrance, waiting for a smiley Jake to come around the corner as he usually does at 5:30pm every Thursdays. 

Yes, a smiling Jake is exactly what you needed to make your day ten times better, you conclude. 

As if on cue, you hear a ding from your phone. 

Jake [5:30PM]: ugh coach is extending practice for “team bonding” 

Jake [5:30PM]: idek what team bonding is 

Jake [5:31PM]: you ok if i cant drive you today? :// 

It’s as if the universe decided to use you as its punching bag today. 

You physically let out a distorted groan, not caring if anyone who happened to hear you thought you were a creature from out of this world, as you send him a text back.

y/n [5:32PM]: it’s all good lol have fun with tEaM bOnDiNg

Things were not all good. But no matter how upset you may be, you weren’t going to project your negative vibes onto Jake’s naturally positive ones. So you get up from the stone steps and begin your dreaded walk back home. 

It’s freezing out. You should’ve known better to just throw on a hoodie and call it a day when it’s the middle of December. But then again, you figured by now you’d be in the comfort and warmth of Jake’s car and presence...not walking home in these freezing temperatures. 

You think about Jake and how he’s probably currently suffering from not only his team bonding exercises (but really though, what are team bonding exercises?), but doing them in this weather as well. The poor boy. 

You’re quickly broken out of your thoughts by the sound of a car engine from behind you. When you don’t see it pass by you and instead hear it pull over and park next to the curb of the sidewalk you’re currently on, you automatically deduce that this is it, this is my time, I’m about to get kidnapped by whoever it is behind me but y/n, you should probably turn around and check first before you drive yourself insane in this inner dialogue. 

You turn around and squint into the front window of the car. If it were a kidnapper, this is exactly what your mother told you not to do. Her exact words were: “Run, don’t look back, and scream bloody murder.” 

Good thing it wasn’t. Just an innocent Sunghoon waving his hand at you, motioning you to get in. 

“Sunghoon?” You approach his car and stop at the passenger side’s open window. 

“y/n! It’s freezing out, I’ll drive you home c’mon,” he nods his head towards the passenger side door. 

Well, how could you say no? Sunghoon owns a nice car. Like a nice car. Like car-seat-heaters-that-make-you-feel-like-you’re-physically-melting nice. Beats getting hypothermia outside, right? 

“Why are you going home from school so late?” You ask as you settle into his car, instantly melting at the touch of the aforementioned heated seats. 

“Debate club, actually. Decided I needed another personality trait other than ice skating,” he starts the engine and begins driving towards the direction of your neighborhood. 

You laugh at his comment, you didn’t peg him as a debate kind of student. Quiet Sunghoon? Debate club? If 2 plus 2 is four...

“Hey, I don’t call you the Ice Prince for nothing! Also, don’t forget your other personality trait: forgetting your lunch every day.” 

Sunghoon quickly glances over at you to send you a dirty look (because eyes on the road, kids!), which you return with a cheeky grin. “Need I remind you that was you today?” 

“Touché,” you click your tongue. 

The two of you fall into a comfortable silence, the faint sound of Sunghoon's music in the background filling in the quietness.  

You’re humming along until Sunghoon breaks the silence, “Did Jake get stuck at practice again?” 

You don’t know why, but you swear you feel your heart beat faster at the mention of Jake’s name. No, that was always there right? Because you were with Sunghoon...your crush..obviously. Obviously. 

Ignoring the feeling, you turn your attention towards the boy driving you. 

“Oh yeah, something about team bonding. How’d you know?” 

“Eh, I just figured since he wasn’t driving you home like he always does.” He turns into your neighborhood. 

You nod at his answer. 

“You two make a good couple.” 

You whip your head at him. Did you hear him correctly?

“It was about time, really. You two have been ogling at one another for so long, Heeseung, Jay, and I almost placed bets on who would be the first to make a move.” 

He keeps his eyes on the road, casually going on about how you and Jake make the cutest couple he’s ever seen. 

You're frozen, unsure of what to think, let alone say. 

You think to two days ago, when you started this entire fake relationship because of the very boy driving you home right now. The same boy who's complimenting you on your fake relationship. The same boy who's supposed to be jealous over that said relationship. The same boy you’re supposed to be crushing over.

But now...only a mere 48 hours later, you were finding yourself okay with the fact that he was happy for you. And for the life of you, you couldn’t remember why you liked Sunghoon in the first place. Not saying he isn’t one to be crushed on, I mean, look at the guy. 

Maybe, just maybe, it had something to do with the fact that you didn't feel nervous or giddy or..anything at all when you got into the car with Sunghoon. At least, not until Jake's name was mentioned. That's when you felt the butterflies. At the mention of Jake.  

Jake. 

Weird. 

But before you can come to a conclusion on why you're feeling the way you do, Sunghoon interrupts your thoughts.  

"Well, we're here! Say hi to your parents for me," he pulls into your driveway as you're still collecting your thoughts.  

You give him a quick thanks and one last wave as you enter the front doors of your house.  

Seeing that your only solution towards confusing feelings meant distracting yourself, distract yourself you did.  

Even if it meant distracting yourself with your piling assignments.  

The next time you look up from your work, it's suddenly way past sundown and a heavy storm has taken over. You’re surprised it hasn’t started flooding yet with the amount of rainfall you were hearing. 

You check the time on your phone, the bright 8:16PM on the screen illuminating your dimly lit room. Seeing that neither of your parents have yet to be home from work, it looks like you were going to have to settle with some instant ramen for dinner tonight.  

As you trudge down the stairs of your home, the sound of light knocking against the front door catches your attention. It's been a long day y/n, you're probably hearing things, it's definitely just the rain.

Nope. There it is again, but much louder. Much more urgent.  

You contemplate any and all potential disasters that could happen from answering the door. Only a crazy person would be willing to go out in this hurricane-like weather to be frantically knocking on your door.  

And so, you assume it has to be some psychopath trying to get into your house. Yes, there’s definitely no other logical explanation. 

You scramble around your living room, looking for the next best weapon to defend you. Resorting to the flower vase your mother keeps on the table next to the front door, you hold it out in front of you, as if you're waiting for the door to burst open.  

The knocking continues, gradually getting louder. You mentally curse at yourself for dropping out of the taekwondo class your dad signed you up for when you were younger.  

Vase in hand, you swing open the door and brace for–

"Jake? What the fuck? Get in here, you're gonna get sick!"  

You’re suddenly aware of how stupid you look, holding a light pink vase with a couple of orchids as your only form of self-defense...for it to only be your own best friend. You immediately put it back on the table as Jake quickly rushes past you and into your humble abode.  

You close the door behind you and turn to face the soaked boy.  

“I come bearing gifts, also known as take-out and hot chocolate from that one cafe you love. Also my company, if you’ll take it. I had a feeling you weren’t having the best day today,” he’s simply standing there, holding up a large brown paper bag in one hand, and a deliciously smelling cup of hot chocolate in the other, but you’re looking at him as if he bought you the Moon. 

You stare in awe at the angel of a boy in front of you, silently thanking the stars for gifting you this amazing human being as your best friend. You don’t know what you did to deserve him. 

You give him a soft smile. “Jake, you didn’t have to. It’s practically a shitstorm out there,” you cock your head towards the window, showcasing the downpour of cats and dogs outside. Jake stays by the entrance as you go down the hall and through your house’s linen closet to find a spare towel for the drenched boy.

“Nah it’s no big deal, really. Just fulfilling my duties as your loyal boyfriend,” he grins, even though you can’t see him. He likes calling himself that. Your boyfriend.

Jake continues to shake his messy hair to get the excess rain off, giving a mental apology to whoever is going to have to mop up the puddle forming on the floor due to his unannounced visit. Probably you. 

Jake hears you laugh down the hall. “You’re really invested in your role, huh? Keep this up and you might actually trick me into believing you’re my actual boyfriend.” 

Actual boyfriend? Jake likes the sound of that. Maybe he will keep this up then.

Jake doesn’t have much experience in acting, unless you count that time he played the role of Town Villager #3 in the third grade play, so he never found it as one of his interests. But playing the role of your boyfriend was one he was willing to fulfill for the rest of life, even if it was just for show. 

Jake doesn’t respond to your comment, he’s instead self-aware of his blushing cheeks, thankful that you’re too busy rummaging through your linen closet to take notice. 

“Plus, you didn’t have lunch today and I had feeling you were going to be too caught up in your work to feed yourself anything other than instant ramen,” he sets down his gifts to you on your living room’s coffee table as you come around the corner, fresh towel and new set of clothes in hand. 

His eyes fall on the familiar looking pair of sweatpants and hoodie resting on the palms of your hands. 

Hm. A little too familiar. 

Then, it clicks in his head. 

His eyes narrow at you as you giggle at his reaction, “Oh, so it takes me getting drenched in the rain for you to finally return my clothes that I’ve been missing!?” 

“Hey! I’m not returning them, simply loaning them out to a friend who’s in dire need. You basically gifted them to me the second you left them here months ago.” 

“You’re annoying.” 

“Love you too,” you toss the clothes at him and take a seat on the floor around your coffee table, prepping the table with the boxes of Chinese food Jake supplied. 

After Jake changes into the stolen dry clothes, he takes a seat next to an already-eating you at the coffee table. 

“You. are. my lord and savior Sim Jaeyun,” you’re saying with your mouth full of fried rice. You sigh from satisfaction and rest your head against Jake’s shoulder as you continue chewing. He grins as he helps himself to his own serving of fried rice and orange chicken. 

You look up at him from your spot, “How was team bonding today?” 

Jake groans in response, clearly annoyed. “Stupid. I don’t get how doing trust falls and pyramid building is going to get us any closer. If anything, I almost FELL off that pyramid today!” 

You don’t know why, but you find yourself admiring him and his soft features as he continues to rant about one of his teammates, specifically, the one who almost dropped him. 

The way his messy hair, unkept from the rain ruining it, almost covers his eyes (but you tell yourself you like it this way, it looks more natural on him), the way the corners of his lips are always perked upwards (even when he’s ranting), the way his eyes sparkle whenever he’s truly passionate about whatever he’s talking about, the way his eyes look at you like–

“Stare much? Look, I get you can’t resist my good looks but at least be subtle about it,” he smirks at you as he takes another spoon of rice. 

You break out of his trance and scoff at him. 

“You’re cute when you rant,” you nonchalantly say as you move from your spot to mirror his actions and add more rice to your plate as well.  Jake’s stills at your sudden comment, unsure of how to respond. Lucky for him, you’re distracted by the mountain of food on your plate to even notice the blushing mess of a boy next to you. 

“You know, you’re lucky you’re cute. Or else I’d deck you right here and now for ditching me after school today.” 

Anddd there goes the moment. Leave it to you to follow up a compliment with a threat of violence. 

Jake finds it cute anyways. He always finds you cute. 

Jake narrows his eyes and lightly shoves you before an apology is written all over his face. “Sorry about that by the way. I feel awful about making you walk home when it was freezing out.” 

“Nah, it’s okay. Sunghoon gave me a ride, actually. Did you know he does debate? I guess you learn something new everyday,” you ramble, unaware of the boy next to you getting tense at the sudden mention of the other’s name. 

Up until now, Jake’s completely forgotten about Sunghoon's involvement in this entire scheme. In fact, the past 48 hours with you have felt so normal, so comfortable, he almost forgot about the deal in the first place.   “You think he has any clue?” Jake suddenly asks, referring to the plan. 

You immediately know what he’s referring to, as Jake practically worded out your very own thoughts. 

You shrug. “Not a single one. We’re practically William and Kate in his eyes. But honestly, that’s the least of my worries right now. I’m too distracted by my exams right now to care.” 

Jake feels guilty for being satisfied with your answer. He’s 100% sure that if convincing Sunghoon took you two an entire lifetime of fake dating, he’d be all too willing to do it. 

“Go to Jay’s party with me tomorrow,” he abruptly says, catching your attention as your mouth is stuffed. Cute. 

He pokes your cheek. “It’ll get your mind off of work and plus, what’s more convincing than showing up to a party with your amazing boyfriend?” he wiggles his eyebrows at you. Jake doesn’t know where he gets his sudden surge of confidence. But he does know he loves calling himself your boyfriend...even if it’s for the time being. 

Rolling your eyes and swatting his poking fingers away from your face, you ponder on his suggestion. 

“You mean my annoying boyfriend,” you stick your tongue out at him. Jake takes a mental picture and hopes it never leaves his mind. 

“But I guess you could be right. Maybe I can clear my head for the night before I study my ass off all weekend.” 

Friday, December 11th 

The party does not clear your mind. 

If anything, it gives you enough headaches to last you at least until the end of high-school. 

You come to this revelation as you and Jake approach Jay’s home, a luxurious mansion sitting at the end of a cul-de-sac, lined with similarly luxurious palaces, located in an equally luxurious neighborhood. 

You come to this revelation when you can already feel the pounding bass of music as you walk up Jay’s driveway. 

You come to this revelation when, not even two seconds after entering Jay’s front doors––

“You’re here!” A buzzed Jay shouts at the two of you, causing the both of you to contemplate your past choices that brought you here today. Jay definitely isn’t straight up drunk yet, but Jake still makes a mental note to keep an eye on him tonight. Just in case. 

The blonde-haired boy is quick to hand over two red solo cups of god knows what, to which you and Jake immediately put down on the nearest table after Jay walks away to greet the next incoming guests (you know, to not hurt his feelings). 

You and Jake are lucky enough to have been around Jay and his parties long enough to know that going all out at these parties will not be pretty the next morning.

You cringe at the memory of last year, when you had to suffer from possibly the worst hangover of all hangovers after one of Jay’s parties. Jake will never let you forget how miserable you looked the next morning. His camera roll’s album titled “y/n blackmail pics” can vouch for that.

“Remind me again to never listen to you,” you almost have to shout at Jake over the thumping music. Jake laughs at your comment and tugs at your hand as he begins entering the house.

The two of you do your rounds of greetings to the people you know...and random underclassmen who you swear you have never seen before but somehow made it to this party. You’ve always questioned how Jay’s invite list worked. Maybe there isn’t one. That would explain how it looked like someone announced Jay was giving out free Teslas and the entire school got hold of the news. 

“Thank god you guys are here,” you hear a voice come from behind the two of you as you guys leave the main room to enter the house’s smaller, but just as luxurious looking, den. You turn to see Heeseung with Sunghoon following closely behind, trying his best not to get swept away in the crowd of people. 

The den is where you usually stayed during these parties. It’s not like there are rules of where people are allowed to party, by any means, but it’s like how a high-school’s cafeteria worked. There’s a mutual silent agreement of where everyone goes, and the den is where the party host and his friends went.  

“Okay, is it just me, or is tonight’s party just a little...too..much?” Sunghoon asks as the four of you take your seats on the main couch of the room. Jake’s quick to make space for you next to him as you go to sit, but to his surprise, you find your home right on his lap. 

“You said be convincing right?” you say into his ear as you settle yourself. Right. That’s totally why. Because you had to go along with the ruse. Obviously. 

You shift a bit so you’re more facing sideways, not blocking off Jake’s line of vision as the boy himself is..well, calling him a rag doll might be excessive. 

But he’s sure he looks like one right now, having lost all senses in his limbs, leaving him frozen underneath you. 

Jake Sim is the epitome of politeness. He was raised in a family that taught him how to respectfully greet others, how to always offer food to others before eating it himself, how to properly treat a significant other. As a result, Jake grew up to be one of the sweetest, kindest, purest people to ever walk this earth. 

(Relatively speaking, the earth is large, but so is Jake’s heart.) 

But human-beings aren’t perfect, they must have a balance. A balance of pros and cons. 

Sure, he can’t pack his own lunch and sometimes forgets to water the little succulent you gifted him that’s currently seated on his window sill. Sure, sometimes he’s too sweet for his own good, you know, like willing-to-be-your-fake-boyfriend too sweet. But aside from the minor details, Jake Sim doesn’t have many cons, no. 

But he sure can be awkward. 

And so because Jake Sim is sweet, kind, pure, and awkward, he is unsure of what to do with himself when you’re seated right on top of him. 

As if you could read his befuddled mind, you take his arm that’s resting behind you to wrap around your waist as your support as you throw one of your arms around his shoulder. And throughout this entire adjustment, his widened eyes are staring right at you. 

Bless this pure, pure boy. 

Also bless the position you’re in, blocking the two other boys from directly seeing Jake’s face. Because if they were to catch glimpse of Jake’s expression right now, your cover might be blown, just like that. You’re lucky Heeseung and Sunghoon are distracted by another classmate who came up to them. 

“Relax,” you sweetly laugh, cupping his chin with your free hand and lightly squeezing his cheeks. “You’re so adorably awkward.” 

Jake pouts at you. “I am not awkward!” 

“Right, and I’m totally dating you for real,” you playfully whisper at him, eliciting a poke at your waist in response. 

Twenty minutes of people-watching-aka-“who do you think is gonna pass out first?”-from-your-spot-on-the-couch later, the four of you draw your attention to the rowdy party host you all have the honor of calling your friend––aka Jay––dancing (that is, if you call wildly swinging your limbs in all four directions dancing) in the middle of the den. 

"Oh god, look at him," Sunghoon voices from besides you.

Heeseung's already filming the moment on his phone. Ah yes, technology. The best thing to ever happen to drunk teens' friends.  

"He's so wasted," you throw your head back as you let out a laugh. “We should help the kid out.” 

Poor Jay. He's not gonna hear the end of it after tonight.

"I don't know why he thinks these parties are such a good idea when he knows how trashed he's gonna be when he wakes up," Jake says, his hand naturally squeezing your waist as you giggle at his comment. "And how trashed the house will be."  

Jay slumbers over to where the four of you are seated, and abruptly stops right in front of the couch.

"My best friends!" Jay happily cheers. “Having fun?” 

“Watching you? Always,” you say to the boy who’s squeezing into a seat between you and Sunghoon, as if the small couch wasn’t already suffocating enough (and that’s with you on Jake’s lap). 

“But for real though, you should probably lay off the drinks for now,” Heeseung insists. “For all our sakes.” 

Sunghoon nods along and grabs the cup Jay’s currently nursing and sets it down where it’s out of Jay’s reach, much to his dismay. But the disappointment quickly leaves the dazed boy’s head, as his attention is now directed towards you and Jake. 

“Well if it isn’t mom and dad,” Jay turns to face you and Jake, certainly amused by your seating arrangement. 

“You know–” Jay points a finger at the two of you. “For a couple that’s certainly close, I haven’t seen you two kiss.” 

Jake is immediately coughing, certainly not expecting that to come out of his friend’s mouth. 

“Okay and your point is?” Jake frowns at Jay. If Jay wasn’t tipsy, Jake would’ve smacked the back of his head by now. 

“I’m just saying...” the blonde responds, both hands up in the air as if Jake is accusing him of something, when in was, in fact, the opposite. “But nevermind, Jakey boy here is probably too innocent for such nonsense anyways.” 

Yes, it’s confirmed. Once Jay sobers up tomorrow, Jake is driving over to his house (even though it’s a good ten minute drive from his own) just to smack him. 

“What do you mean I’m too–” 

Jake doesn’t finish his sentence. In fact, Jake doesn’t even remember what he was going to say. 

Jake doesn’t think nor feel anything else other than your lips planted on his. 

You’re pulling him in close, your hands cupping his face as his own are twitching on your waist, his mind flustered. You move your hands from his face to his neck, to which Jake immediately relaxes at. 

Sure, you two are in the middle of a dumb high-school party, one filled with pounding music and shouting teenagers, but right now, in this moment, Jake can only feel you. And he doesn’t want the feeling to ever stop. 

When you part, Jake’s eyes flicker from your eyes to your lips, his own parted in shock. He thinks he might pass out right here and now. He thinks his heart might explode right here and now. He thinks he might lov-

“Happy?” you turn to a satisfied Jay, ignoring the looks of amusement from Heesung and Sunghoon besides him. 

“Well,” you pat Jake’s leg as you get up from your spot. “I’m gonna get us some drinks. Punch only, of course.” 

Jake’s eyes are on you as you walk away, his face tinted pink from the adrenaline of it all, his heart racing. 

Jake thinks back to three days ago, when he told himself that this idea of yours was going to be all fine. After all, it was only going to be for one week. Afterwards, he can move on with his life as if nothing happened. 

But fast forward 72 hours later, 72 hours after you and Jake started this act, 72 hours after Jake told himself it’ll be all fine, Jake knows he was poorly mistaken.

Because 72 hours later, in the middle of a party that reeked of the combined smell of alcohol and sweat, Jake knows one thing and one thing for sure.

He never wants to move on from the feeling of being with you. He never wants to move on from this.

From you. 

He’s screwed. 

Saturday, December 12th 

When Jake wakes up, much later than he intended to, on Saturday morning, the first sensation he feels are his tingling lips, still in disbelief that they graced your own last night. 

The second sensation being his pounding mind––it’s running through ten million thoughts at a time, telling him no last night wasn’t a dream. 

Third: his heart beating so fast at the thought of you, he thinks he might beat out of his chest.

And fourth, a buzzing noise. 

Jake blindly flounders his arm to the table beside him in hopes of finding the origin of the annoying sound, aka, his phone. 

After knocking down multiple miscellaneous items on his nightstand (he makes a mental note to clean his room later), he successfully retrieves the item of search. 

Jake squints at the bright screen, mind still cloudy from a mix of 1) being half-asleep, and 2) still processing what happened the night before. 

y/n [11:10AM]: r u awake yet? 

y/n [11:22AM]: imma take that as a no

y/n [11:35AM]: lemme know when ur up 

jake [11:44AM]: just woke up sorry 

jake [11:44AM]: are you okay? what’s up

y/n [11:45AM]: r u busy? 

y/n [11:45AM]: kinda wanted to talk abt smth

jake [11:45AM]: uh well no im still in bed lmao

y/n [11:46AM]: cool im outside your door 

Jake’s eyes widen as he processes your last few texts. 

Talk? Outside his door? 

Jake’s heart is nervously pounding as jumps out of bed and quickly puts on the first plaid flannel he finds. He scrambles to his mirror and gives his reflection a quick run-down. 

He’s sporting your his favorite hoodie underneath the flannel that’s long overdue a wash and his tousled hair has seen better days, but he couldn't care less. 

Before his mind can catch up to his actions, he’s rushing down the stairs, skipping two at a time and to this front door. Because he didn’t want to keep you waiting? Because he was too excited to see you? Maybe a mix of both. Definitely more of the latter, however. 

He quickly runs a hand through his hair to try to fix it up as much as he can, to no avail, before opening the door to reveal you, sitting on the steps of his front porch. 

“y/n,” he’s breathing heavily as you turn to greet him with your sweet smile he didn’t even realize he was missing. Is it possible to miss someone overnight? Jake concludes yes, it definitely is. 

“Did you run down here or something?,” you question his out-of-breath state, a teasing tone laces the tip of your tongue. 

“Or something,” Jake mutters as he closes the front door behind him to join you on the steps when you make no sign of moving. “Have you been out here all morning?” 

“Not allll morning. I had a feeling you’d sleep in so I came around the time I first texted you. Would’ve knocked but didn’t wanna bother your family,” you hum, keeping your eyes trained on the peaceful scenery around you. 

You’ve always loved Jake’s neighborhood, it brought you a sense of peace, a sense of home. 

Or was that because it reminded you of Jake? 

“You could never be a bother,” he quickly rebuttals as he takes his seat next to you on the steps. 

You respond with a soft smile before turning your attention back to anything other than the boy next to you. Your mind seems to be lost in its own thoughts, Jake can tell by the distant look in your eyes. 

The sound of birds chirping in the distance fills the silence that falls between the two of you. 

Any other day, Jake would love this. He savors every second he’s with you, even if it’s just pure silence. 

But this silence was different. It wasn’t the usual comforting, warm silence that the two of you share on a typical day. This one held tension, tension so thick that Jake doesn’t know where to begin thinking. 

But here’s the thing. Jake doesn’t think. 

Not when it comes to you. 

He takes a deep breath. Rubs his hands together. Pats them on his lap. Turns towards you. 

“Look, I-” 

“I think I might like you.” The words come out of your mouth so fast, Jake’s positive he heard you wrong the first time around. 

He whips his head to meet your eyes, your own already staring back at him, your bottom lip nervously tucked under your teeth. 

“No, I––I do. I know I do. I’m sorry. I didn’t know how to tell you and I don’t think I’m doing a very good job right now,” the words are all of the sudden tumbling out of your mouth as if your brain flipped a switch and isn’t able to turn it off. “In hindsight, I should’ve known better to fake date my own best friend. But these past few days made me realize how much I love being with you. And not like how I’m always with you 24/7 before this entire thing started, but being with you. I even started getting that weird, bubbly feeling in my stomach every time I so much as heard your name. And then last night at the party, I realized afterwards that I wouldn’t have kissed you if some part of me didn’t see you in that way. Even if it meant Jay would’ve been on our asses all night if I didn’t. So yeah.” 

You finish with a deep breath and look up at him to meet his widened eyes. Silence.

Jake thought he was braindead during last week’s history quiz. Jake thought he was braindead when he had to cram a semester’s worth of chemistry content the night before his exam. Heck, Jake thought he was braindead when you first told him about your idea of a fake dating him. But no, this is braindead.

He’s finally hearing what he’s been dreaming of for so long, and of all times, now his brain decides to shut off.  

“Are you..uh..are you gonna say anything?” You’re nervously fumbling with your hands, desperate to distract yourself with anything else apart from his silent stare. 

"Why are you sorry?" Jake says before his mind can think of anything else. He doesn't pay attention to his thumping heart that's one look-from-you away from exploding right then and there. "You didn't do anything wrong. If anything, you took the words right out of my mouth.” 

Now you're staring at him with the wide eyes, the words processing in your mind.

Jake realizes he's waited too long to do this. A few years too long. He also realizes he shouldn't have put on that extra layer of a flannel. The nervous tension created by the two of you was suffocating enough, and being outside under the bright sun didn’t help. 

"I like you too. God y/n, I like you too so much," Jake doesn't even care if his words are all sorts of messed up right now. He just needs you to get the idea. "I have for a while now.” 

You let out a relieved sigh, ecstasy rushing through your blood. “Really? I think I have for a while too. I’m so stupid, it took me so long to realize it. It didn’t hit me until I realized how I felt around you, compared to the guy I’m supposed to actually have a crush on.” 

Jake lets out a laugh, the tension immediately dissolving. “Hey, if it wasn’t for Sunghoon, I don’t think we’d be here right now.” 

“You’re right, I’m too oblivious and you’re too awkward to actually make a move,” you wink at him. If his heart wasn’t fluttering at the sight of you, on his porch on a Saturday morning, confessing your feelings to him, Jake probably would’ve lightly shoved you away. 

Instead, he’s turning to you with the most endeared look on his face, and you’re blushing underneath his gaze.

“What? Stare much?” You giggle, quoting the boy himself as you shyly duck your head to avoid his stare. 

Jake gently grabs your chin to tilt your face towards his, and before you can process what’s happening, he suddenly meets your lips with his own, closing the gap between you two. 

Jake thinks if the ground underneath him right now decided to open up and swallow him whole, he’d die happily. 

Jake smiles against you, feeling comfort in ways he’ll never be able to achieve without you. 

Your hands instinctively find their way into his hair, as one of his rests below your ear, thumb softly caressing your cheek, the other pulling you in by the waist. He’s naturally leaning into you, gravitating towards your warmth, unable to stop the giddy feeling bubbling in his stomach. 

He doesn’t think the feeling will ever go away. 

When you pull away to catch your breath, you rest your head against the nook of his neck, basking in his presence as his arms both find their way around your waist. You sigh in pleasure. 

“Remember at the beginning of all of this, when you told me ‘Just try not to fall in love with me?’” Jake gently says. Jake feels the slight nod you give against his shoulder as you hum in response. 

Jake whispers two more words into your ear, filling you with happiness and warmth you know you won’t be able to find through anyone––or anything––else. 

“Too late.” 

✰ if you made it ‘til the end, ily :’))))) 

[justafairytailofinnocence]

Ok ok if your not into this type of ask totally fine!!!!! So I'm pmsing hard 🤣 so I was going to request headcanons about how Edward, Jacob, and Jasper would react to their significant other being down and really crampy with their period? Maybe if it's not too much to ask, can you add gifs and a little oneshot about how they would talk to them doing that time??:)

Thanks dear!!! ❤️❤️❤️

Hello dear 💗 of course I would be happy to😊.

How Edward, Jake and jasper react to the time of the month 🤒

- Edward would be extremely confused as he's never seen anything like this. Of course he's had adoptive sisters but they don't get it.

- Jasper would try to understand your sudden mood swings and try to change your mood even if it'll last for a couple of seconds.

- Jake knows what's up he's seen Leah, he knows in wolf form she's scary. He can sense it since wolf's have a strong sense of smell.

- Esme would help you and she would comfort you as Edward would try to comfort you in any way possible.

- jasper would try to use his gift and also bring you sweets.

- Jake would use his body heat and try to calm you down.

And now without further ado, the oneshot:

When PMS and monsters collide 🎀

Edward walked in, he saw you lying on the couch with your face sweating profusely. "Y/n is everything ok" he asks with a confused look.

Y/n weakly speaks out "yes Edward I'm fine". They couldn't concentrate with all the cramps.

Jasper watched from the distance and tried to use his ability to change your mood. "no jasper stop" you whimper.

Edward turns to Jasper looking worried. "we need to get carlise" just as Jake walks through the door.

"where's y/n" Jake speaks concerned. "Your not suppose to be here" Edward sneers, Jake ignored the bloodsucker and goes to your side.

"y/n, Im here" Jake hugs you. Edward looks at her with worried eyes "is she alright" before he worriedly says "I hope she isn't dying".

Jake shook his head "no but something does smell of blood". Edward could sense something as Jasper kept his distance for control.

"you morons I'm not dying, It's that time of the month" you scolded them. They all looked confused.

"uh, I've seen that with Leah please don't strangle me" jake looks wide eyed. Edward had known with Bella about her thing but he kept close to you.

Jasper comes up and touched your hand "I'm here" he kissed your forehead.

They all stayed with you.

Anyways that's all I have for now:

Ta Ta 💫

[technowoah]

Taunt

It only takes one time to realize you fucked up.

- ANON REQUESTED!

- WILBUR X FEM! READER BLURB

PROMPTS!

50) "Fuck off... I mean it"

24) "Get in the car" "..." "please get in the car"

⚠︎ angst to fluff, swearing, based on the song Taunt by Lovejoy ❤🐈 its short btw yall

[Updated 3 hours after upload I messed up the prompts sorry yall now it fixed]

She was always asking if he was alright. He always lied to her just to get her off his back for the night, but it was his fault that he wanted her to move in. He has to deal with that all of the time, it was her fault anyways. She made him upset, she made him not alright. She didn't know that. She constantly complained about things that didn't even concern her, she dodged their relationship making it more about her than them.

It was tiring to him. Constantly providing, trying to tie a broken knot, but he didnt let that get in the way of his career, or his friends. There's another issue, he never talked to his friends about her. She accused him of not being proud of their relationship and that became a problem that never got resolved.

Did anyone ever say "no" to her? Well if no one did, he would be the first one to do so. Fuck that.

He listened, and listened, but nothing kept this relationship together.

Wilbur talked to the three people chatting on his discord through his headphones as a soft LED lights flowed through the room. These nights were simple because she didnt have to see him when he decides to stream, he basically has his time set out for himself without trouble. He wasn't ecstatic, he felt horrible, but the facadè was there.

Her on the other hand wasnt happy either. She never got attention from him, and of course she could get moody from time to time like every other human being, but she always took it out on him. Who else was gonna be there for her? He acted like her cared, she knew he was lying. His "caring" consisted of humming and him responding like a default character in a video game. He didn't care, he acted like he never did. She needed that attention and he knew damn well she did.

She wasnt asking for much, at least to her it did feel like it. She knew when she was wrong, but she didn't want to admit it when they were both in the wrong too. They dont get each other, she didnt know why he asked her to move in when he didn't want anything to do with her. Ever since he moved her in he kept her in check like a child, she hated and loved that at the same time. Its true that she wanted her own way, she did what she wanted and gave her attention to whoever she wanted her attention to be. She thought that was fine, but apparently she dosent give any effort to the relationship.

Rolling her eyes at the thought she decided to leave the dishes in the sink dirty. She thought about leaving and finding someone who will get her, yes Wilbur listened to her, but there was no effort. When he's drunk and tries to "figure out what makes her brain tick" ends up in more distaster.

Lying in the couch her mind began to wonder, he always said that she could get away with anything. She always took it as a taunt. Everytime it was brought up. He called it "pretty privilege" and he always taunts her saying she abuses that power.

Her jaw clenched as she recalled those memories. Summoning the courage she brought herself up onto her feet and rushed to their shared bedroom. Taking a deep breath she opened their closet and started pulling her things off of hangers, not caring if she made a mess. She tossed her clothes onto the messy bed that they didn't bother to make this morning.

Bringing a small backpack out from underneath the bed she tried shoving most of her clothes into a bag for a night. In total frustration she emptied the bag and only backed necessities that she would need for the night.

She was tired of him and he was tired of her so she was doing both of them a favor. She made her way out of the door grabbing a coat and sliding on some simple shoes. Shooting a quick text to a close friend letting them know she's coming over. Her friend wasn't that close, but she decided to walk. As she locked the door to their shared apartment she debated texting Wilbur. She didnt want to, but she didnt want him to freak the fuck out because she wasnt home.

( Wilbur )

Me: Ill be back for the rest of my stuff tmrw.

[Read]

She closed her phone and started on her night time journey down the street trying to let everything from the past few weeks go with the cool wind.

Him on the other hand stayed silent. He had just finished his stream and had gotten a text saying that she'll be back for the rest of her things. This was inevitable, one of them had to leave, but to him it didnt seem right. He didn't want her to leave. Something in his heart was making him chase her back, the same thing in his heart that moved her into his apartment in the first place. Maybe it was love, maybe he wanted to persevere and have someone in his life. Something in his mind was telling him that he let go of something special.

Wilbue thought about it as he shut everything off and went to go grab his belongings, before rushing out the door to try and find her. Sadly to his discovery, she turned off her location. He finally made it to his car and started driving towards his house to see if she was around there.

He couldn't call a friend because she never introduced her friends to him. She did that on purpose because of him not doing the same. As he drove down the not so busy streets of Brighton he thought if he could get to know her, pull emotions and feelings out of her and see the real her. And if he cant do that? Who knows what will happen.

He remembers this face she always pulled when he always said "Im alright." She scrunched up her nose in annoyance and he always took it as a taunt because he couldn't figure out the real meaning. They were both going at this the wrong way, he dosent know anything about her and maybe thats the problem, but she needs to calm down as well. She needs to start paying attention to both of them instead of herself.

He was seated at a stoplight until he saw a figure on the sidewalk walking past him. The person looked shocked then kept walking, but even faster this time. He rolled down the window to see it was Y/n walking. Wilbur ran the red light and found a place to turn the car around to follow her. He drove a couple of feet in front of her before putting his hazard lights on and stepping out of the car to confront her.

"What the fuck are you doing?!" Wilbur said while getting our of his car.

"Im getting away from you. And what are you doing here?" She said.

"Well I could ask you the same thing. Its not safe out here alone." He calmed down a little. Wilbur's main goal was to get her back home so they can have a civilized talk. He didn't want to be out here.

"Oh? Ive been fine for the past fifteen minutes." She sasser back.

"That dosent mean its not safe!" He exclaimed.

She stayed quiet so that gave Wilbur an opportunity to speak.

"See, I want us to go home so we can have a civilized talk without feeling defensive. I want to get to know you, I know you're my girlfriend and yes, it was my mistake rushing things. Im not putting the blame all on myself either." He finished and she stayed quiet with her arms crossed infront of her chest.

"Are you cold-?"

"Fuck off...I mean it." She said while trying to pass hin on the street.

He stood in her way and he kept doing that every time she tried to get around him. Wilbur saw that she was getting annoyed at his actions. Wilbur held her by both of her biceps trying to hold her still so he could talk.

"You're being childish!"

"Fucking listen to me! You cant just keep walking away from us! From me! This is not healthy!" Wilbur yelled. He let go if her and surprisingly she stayed there.

"Get in the car." He ordered but she stayed silent. "Please get in the car."

She turns around gets in the passenger seat if Wilbur's car. He sighed a sigh if relief and followed her lead. They both got settled into the car and he didn't move. He wasn't going to drive unless she talked to him. After a minute if silence she spoke up.

"I know its- its both of our faults. And i have some things I need to work on. I cant just run away. Also your thoughts of me need to be rearranged, but I need to give you all of me. At leat 50 percent so we can start somewhere. But Im sorry." She said while she looked down at her lap maybe in embarrassment.

In the end they both wanted to fix themselves. In the end they wanted eachother. And they can both see that.

He leaned over the armrest and gave her a kiss on her cheek. She turned to him with a surprise look on her face, like this was the most affection he gave her, because it was true. She grabbed his hand that rested on the armrest too as he started to drive towards their home together.

As the nightly drive continues on and now shes drifting off in the passenger seat as In Love With An E-girl plays softly. She's left too tired to talk with Wilbur and be in touch with her emotions right now, but she'll do it for the both of them this time.

[yayeetsonny]

Always Tell The Truth Part 2 ~ USWNT x Reader

Okay so if you haven’t read the first part of this, which I will put here. Always tell the truth part 1 I suggest you do that, otherwise this one will make no sense. Also sorry... again for being gone so long. I hope you guys didn’t miss me too much. :)

-N

Previously...

“Those bruises, Y/N, where’d you get them?” 

“I. Don’t. Know.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“Fine then, don’t believe me. First Alex, then Christen and now you. This is just great, my teammates think I’m a liar. Well I’m not and I’m telling you the truth.”

I brushed by her and stormed out of the room, now determined to avoid my teammates so they’d stop asking questions and questioning my honesty.

“I’m not a liar. I don’t know where I got the bruises, I don’t know why they won’t believe me.”

Present

After I stormed out of the room I share with Ali I ran... yes literally ran out of the hotel and out into the street. Well okay it was more like the sidewalk but whatever, I’m going for dramatic story telling here. I was angry, hurt and confused as to why my teammates couldn’t just believe me. I’ve never lied to them before, not ever. If something was going on I would have told them. And I genuinely have no clue where these bruises came from, I don’t remember hurting myself badly in practices or games and I don’t do any other crazy activities that would warrant the sudden appearance of severe looking injuries. I knew I just needed to clear my head so I started walking in a random direction hoping to get my thoughts together.

After a while I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket and knew it was probably one of my teammates looking for me so I ignored it. My phone stopped ringing only for a short time before it stared up again. This went on for several long minutes before it finally stopped. After each attempt from whoever was trying reach me there was a separate single vibrate indicating they left a message. I felt a little guilty for disappearing and probably worrying everyone but they shouldn’t have assumed or accused me of lying. Thinking they finally got the message that I didn’t want to speak to them I continued walking god knows where trying to think of what to say when I finally decided to go back. I was really deep in thought, trying to remember if and when I got the bruises. Obviously they don’t just appear like magic. They have to be caused by something, but... what? All the sudden I was hit with a vague memory

“Huh?... Wha- where am I?”

“You fell asleep on the couch dear. Don’t you remember? It was really adorable actually. My mom said super sweetly.

That’s weird, she’s never overly sweet with me, like ever.

“No, I don’t remember doing that.”

I looked around and the tv was on, which is also rare. It was playing a random comedy movie. Comedy? My parents don’t even like comedy movies.

“Oh well you did. Right after dinner, you dragged your feet over to the couch and was out like a light before we knew it.” She said casually.

My dad waltzed in like everything was totally normal. What the fuck is going on. Why don’t I even remember eating dinner? How long have I been here? Why does my body hurt so much?

I came back to the present feeling slightly uneasy. I remembered now a little bit of what happened when I got to my parents house and a little bit of what happened after I woke up from my nap. They managed to convince me everything was fine after that and I left assuming they were telling me the truth because I was too tired and too annoyed to argue. But the more I thought about it the more I wondered just how much of what they said is true. Why were there huge gaps in my time with them? And why do I get the feeling that the weird gut feeling I have isn’t a coincidence? I got lost in thought again but it was peaceful this time and quiet which I was relishing in.

Unfortunately the peace and quiet only lasted for a few minutes when I started to get what I assumed were dozens of texts. I finally got fed up and decided to silence my phone completely. When I unlocked it I saw a glimpse of some of the worried texts from the team. They all pretty much said the same thing;

“Y/N please come back. I’m sorry for saying I didn’t believe you. I’m just concerned about you. I want to talk and I’ll listen to whatever you have to say. Just please come back.”- Ali

“Hey kid, heard what happened. Wanna talk?”- T

“Y/n where are you? I heard what happened and that you left?? please come back, we’re worried.”- Christen

“Bruh what the hell? let’s talk?”- Ash

“where r u?”- Mal

“It’s not safe for you to be out by yourself. Ali told us about the other bruises. Whatever this is we’ll help you. We’re gonna start searching for you if you don’t get your ass back here soon. We love you.”- Alex

And it went on like that as every single member of the team texted me some variation of that and the voicemails they all left were much the same. I started to feel more guilty but let my anger keep me from replying to them. They can stew a little longer.

Meanwhile back at the Hotel...

CHRISTEN PRO//

“Okay, so tell us exactly what happened.”

“I saw the bruises when she was changing, which I happened to walk in on. I don’t think she was expecting me. I asked her what happened and she said that nothing had happened and I asked her about the bruises I saw on her arm, shoulder and spine and she continued to tell me she has no idea where they came from. I told her I didn’t believe her and then she got upset and she just... left.”

“Just like that? She didn’t say where she was going?”

“No, she was so angry she just stormed out and when I tried to follow after her she was already gone.”

“And she’s still not answering her phone. Damnit kid come on, where are you?”

“She’s not safe out there on her own, we have to go look for her.”

“And how are we supposed to find her when she doesn’t have her location on and is doing everything she can’t to ignore us?”

“I have no idea but we have to try.”

“We will, but we should give her a little more time. It’s possible she’s just around the corner cooling off. She’ll come back when she’s ready.”

“You’re right.”

“Guys I hate to steer us back into more serious topics but shouldn’t we be talking about the bruises she has that started all of this?”

“What do you guys think they’re from?” Megan asked.

“I want to believe her when she says she doesn’t know but I mean how can you just not know about bruises as severe as those?” Ash said.

“I mean... I’ve had some pretty bad ones I don’t remember getting from anywhere.” Mal said off-handily.

I saw some of the rest of the team nod silently, indicating that they too had, had the same thing happen to them. And I had to admit that I had my fair share of bumps and bruises that I couldn’t explain because they just seemed to appear but I was still concerned for our youngest teammate as it was getting pretty late and it was already dark outside.

“Oh god, you don’t think it’s her parents do you?” Tobin asked no one in particular.

We all paused for a moment to process what she was implying and I know we were silently hoping, praying that they wouldn’t do that to her. That they wouldn’t beat their own child.

“No, there’s no way. She’s told us that they love and support her and that even though they aren’t around much they still care about her.”

“Right, you’re right.”

“It has to be them though, I mean there’s no other explanation. She didn’t have them before or after practice right?” Alex asked.

“No, she didn’t.” Lindsey said solemnly.

“Do you really think parents can just flip a switch? Just like that? Be caring and supportive one minute and violent then next?”

“It’s possible.”

“No, just don’t even go there. I refuse to believe they would do that.”

“We would have seen the bruises if she had them before, since we all change in the same locker room together for practices and games remember?” I said

“Fuck. When I get my hands on them I swear to god...”

She didn’t get to finish her sentence because Y/n walked into the dining hall where we were all gathered.

“Get your hands on who?” She asked quietly

“Kid...”

“Y/n holy shit, thank god.”

“And she lives!... not the time? Got it.”

“Y/N... we need to talk.”

“Why? There’s nothing to talk about. I don’t know what Ali told you, but I don’t know where these fucking bruises came from okay? I don’t know. I’m sorry, I know that probably isn’t what you wanted to hear but it’s the truth. If you don’t believe me that’s fine but i’m not talking about it anymore.”

“Sweetie please just hear us out okay? We’re worried about you and getting defensive about them isn’t helping your case.” I said, trying to reach out for her but she backed away from me.

“Defensive? I’m just upset because you all still don’t seem to get it.”

“We want to get it, please just talk to us.”

“No.”

“Y/N, please just...”

“No! Okay, just no. I said we weren’t talking about it again and that’s final. What happened to “I’ll listen to whatever you have to say.” Huh, Ali? Good to know that was complete bullshit.”

“I’m sorry baby, please believe me, we just...”

“Oh believe you? For what? You clearly still don’t believe me so why should I give you that courtesy? You know what, this is all just fucking stupid anyways. I’m going to bed. Goodnight.”

And with that she disappeared up to the room she’s sharing with Ali. Leaving us all more confused and concerned than ever.

“Well... that went well.”

“Shut up Emily, so not the time.”

//End

Okay so yes that is yet another cliffhanger of sorts, I’m sorry but I thought that was a good place to end it. Just know that Y/N genuinely doesn’t remember a lot of what’s going on, just like she says. Her parents are definitely sus asf.

I’m actually writing part 3 rn so that should be up within the next day or so. I know I keep disappearing but my life is totally a mess rn lol. I’m back now tho and am excited to finally get to all the requests I have. Im so sorry for those waiting I haven’t forgotten. Promise.

-N

//

Not edited.