#ao3 is like home to some of the most beautiful works of art. wattpads like yeah i can post a oneshot book

[bugsabound]

what's your Wattpad ?

Its also Bugsabound! Warning, i only post unedited oneshots and crack fics taken weirdly serious

Heres a link to it for your convience

[leeknowsintrusivethots]

Marked By Him

Part 1 | ?????

Pairings: Lee Know(SKZ)/OC, Secretssssss here

Summary: Vampyres dominate the entertainment world with their otherworldly beauty and talent. It's a world you must be born into, but a few lucky ones are Marked. Stripped from her home and everything she knows, Minji's Marking means that she has to rely on the Devil himself, Lee Minho, to be her mentor. He's cute and sweet to the public, but behind closed doors the monster comes out to play.

Content: Angst, slow burn romance, lotsa plot, eventual smut, vampires, darkish romance, original characters, first person perspective, general 18+ content, asshole Lee Know, alternate idol universe, love triangle (Surprise), pet names: kitten/mouse

WC: 2,208

Minors do NOT interact. Do NOT repost my work in anyway. This includes translations or sharing to sites such as Wattpad or Ao3.

Notes: I have risen from the dead through the power of Stray Kids. This one is intended to be a long form story, probably around 20 parts or so or until it reaches a natural end. Individual parts will be labeled as smut and smut warnings will be included for future parts. Ngl, it's mostly wish fulfillment and because not many people seem to write longer SKZ content. Enjoy, my dirty dirty friends.

"He will meet you in Conference Room Number Zero."

I waited for his arrival with anticipation creating a knot in the pit of my stomach. Not even meeting the CEO of JYP Entertainment had caused such nerves to take root. This was the person I would be spending most of my time with - the one who would integrate me into my new life. He would be my mentor and teacher. I could only guess at what kind of person he would be.

Would he be kind? Smart? As ethereal and graceful as they usually are?

They were known for their cold beauty - so chilling and unreal that it haunted people as well as it enamored them. I am sure, just like humans, they varied but every single one that graced the media was the image of physical perfection. They were Gods come to life amongst mortals. If even the average ones were half as good looking, they still had to be pretty damn exceptional compared to humans.

And so I waited.

The dusty, peculiarly ancient looking grandfather clock chimed in the corner of the room. It didn't fit the image JYP was associated with: a sleek and modern entertainment company that housed some of the brightest talents in Korea. As a matter of fact, the entire 'conference room' felt out of place compared to the rest of the building. The modernity of the outside was forgotten in the confines of the four walls that surrounded me.

The wallpaper was reminiscent of an ancient mansion: a dark royal blue with silver feligreses interspersed through the length. All of the windows in the building were tinted darkly to ward off paparazzi but also natural light, but the windows in this room were completely covered. The only light source came from elegant sconces that dotted the walls and an antique lamp that sat in on the corner of the desk I was seated at. The rest of the room was filled with shelves of books and peculiar looking items that my frazzled brain refused to make sense of.

All I could do was marvel at where life had taken me: at how I was going from ordinary to extraordinary.

The doorknob twisting had me sitting up straighter in my seat and my eyes widening in alert. I held my breath as the door disengaged and opened. It felt like life had gone into slow motion as he entered. As I took in my mentor, the world stopped as my heart sped up and heat rose in my cheeks.

He was beautiful. He had sharp facial features that only God himself could have chiseled: perfectly pouty lips that would put most human women to shame, large dark eyes that captured the soul at a glance, perfectly styled black hair that looked so thick and soft I wanted to run my hands through it just to see if it was real, and clear skin without a single blemish. He could have been a painting, a true work of art.

And even more insane: I knew who he was.

I watched music videos with him in them. I bought his group's albums at every release. I had posters of him on my bedroom walls back in Busan. I had spent countless hours of my youth being a dedicated fan.

"Minji?" Lee Minho questioned with a raised brow.

I was so enraptured I hadn't even noticed the door shut. I hadn't even noticed that he had crossed the room to stand behind the chair opposite of me. I had also completely forgotten my manners. I pushed back from my chair in a haste and stood up. I bowed deeply, partly out of how much respect I had for him but also as an apology for forgetting myself.

"Hello. I am Minji," I greeted formally.

He nodded with an air of boredom about him in return before taking the seat he was behind. Even the way he sat was gracefully beautiful. The man could burn whole cities and he would be forgiven based on his looks alone.

"Sit," he commanded simply. I did as I was told and resumed my seat immediately. I couldn't help but to study his features further, committing them to memory to paint later. His sharp jaw, his soft looking mouth, and his eyes. Eyes that were staring at me with something scarily remicent of disdain under a dark cocked brow.

Suddenly, I felt inferior. I felt unworthy to look at him so blatantly. Who was I to stare at someone like him? My eyes fell to the table before me in something akin to shame.

"I am assuming the Tracker gave you all the usual information pamphlets?" he asked in a bored tone. I got the impression he wanted to be anywhere other than in that room with me. It hurt that the man I idolized seemed to be so disinterested in me, but what did I expect? He had millions of fans all over the world.

"Yes," I answered as steadily as I could. I heard him rustling through papers and waited as patiently as I could for him to offer more information or even ask something else, but he didn't. I only willed myself to glance up at the loud thud of something being dropped onto the desk in front of me. It was a large book - a textbook. It was eerily new and modern compared to the rest of the contents in the room. The title was simply "Marked."

"This book has been approved by the Association to help guide you into your new life," he said with a small but beautiful chuckle at the end as if he found the book amusing more than anything. "You will finish a chapter every two days in-between normal idol training."

"I- I can do that," I stuttered when he paused as if waiting for a response.

"Good girl," he almost scoffed in mockery at my answer. My cheeks heated again and strangely a small tingle made itself known between my legs at the insincere praise. I did my best to ignore it. When he didn't continue, I chanced a glance up at him to find him smirking in amusement before he continued. "After each chapter, we will meet here for any questions and to review what you have learned."

He paused again, and I nodded to show I understood without daring another look at him. I was never a loud or overly confident person, I was simply quiet. That didn't mean I was a doormat, until Lee Minho walked through the door. I was fairly certain at that moment I was wearing a shirt inviting him to step on me.

"I was told to make myself available to you for further questions and help in between meetings," he continued. I heard a rustling as he stood from his chair. I refused to look up even as his shoes appeared in my peripheral. I could feel his presence next to me like a reaper come to take my life, but the normal feeling of body heat was absent. A cold hand pushed the long loose hair back from my shoulder, exposing the bare column of my neck to the chill of him and the room. I involuntarily shuddered.

"You won't have any questions or need any help, will you?" he asked with a faux saccharine in his voice that somehow chilled me to my core. The blood in my veins had turned to ice as my heart pumped harder to compensate. My words stuck in my throat as a strange panic set in.

I knew they were dangerous. I knew they could hurt me, but this was Lee Minho - Lee Know of Stray Kids. He was the weird but sweet one who showed his affection by spanking his fellow members. He was not the kind of person who discreetly threatened strangers, but I felt like that's exactly what he was doing.

"Answer me, Mouse," he all but demanded with the fake sweetness fading and the chill boredom returning to his voice.

Insanity comes in all forms and from all places. Sometimes it's as simple as someone making a noise that gets on your nerves that makes you snap. In my case: I had traveled to a whole new city on my own and uprooted my life in a move that was not of my choosing. I was alone. I was scared. I was changing into something I couldn't even begin to comprehend in a world I had only read about, and the man I had considered to be my ultimate kpop bias was threatening me and treating me like a burden. The actual audacity.

My head snapped up and my eyes found his. I stared at him with a newfound sense of annoyance. I didn't ask for this - I wasn't even sure if I wanted it. How could he treat me so badly when he was fully aware of the situation?

"My name is Minji," I snapped with as much force in my voice as I could muster. "If we are to be forced into this situation together, at least call me by my proper name."

I don't know what I was expecting, but I wasn't expecting him to give a dark chuckle and his eyes to fill with - amusement? I also wasn't expecting long elegant fingers to reach up and take hold of my chin in a firm grip. His touch was cold. Despite my efforts to keep it from affecting me, it shot sparks of heat through my entire body in contrast to his temperature.

"Maybe not a mouse, then. A kitten with little ineffective claws," he mused. He held my gaze as he taunted me, keeping his hold firm on my chin. His face came closer and my delusional heart pounded out an encore. His soft lips were right there, just mere inches from my own. I could feel his cool breath on my cheek as he moved to my ear. His next words tickled my skin and had me shivering again. "Careful, Kitten. I like the feisty ones."

Insanity gripped me again. It was madness, pure and simple. I was taunting not a God like I thought, but the devil himself. I was starting to see that, but I did it anyway. "I'm sure they don't feel the same way. Cats are very good judges of character."

A sharp inhale against the side of my face followed a light chuckle as he pulled back to hold my gaze captured yet again. The amusement was still present, boredom all but gone, but it was mixed with something else - something darker, scarier.

"Word of advice kitten," he started. His cool hand released its grip on my chin to trail up my jaw and to the center of my forehead. "This Mark doesn't mean shit. You will never really be one of us - just an imitation - and no one here will praise you for it. It's a target, and you will be surrounded by predators."

"Why?" His words chilled me, actually had me fighting the impulse to shake in my seat, but the confusion weighed out. I didn't understand this world - I didn't understand them.

"Don't ask questions, Kitten, and maybe I'll take care of you if I decide it's worth it." For just a brief moment, his eyes glanced down at my lips. My silly heart almost couldn't take it, but I persevered.

"But-"

"No," he stated firmly. His hand had fallen back to my chin, and his thumb brushed against my lower lip almost accidentally. My breath hitched. "Listen and behave, Kitten. That Mark already draws attention, don't make it worse by being a brat."

With that, his cool presence was gone. He moved away so fast that I blinked and he was across the room at the door with his sinful fingers wrapped around the door handle. He didn't turn back as he spoke again. "A car is waiting at the front of the building. It will take you to the dorms. Welcome to hell, Kitten."

His words, combined with the entirety of the events that had just transpired, were the icy wake up call I needed. I had been Marked. I was entering a new plane of existence I knew hardly anything about, but I was already learning. It was dangerous. It was not at all like the media and the Association wanted the world to believe. They had painted the things that go bump in the night to be beautiful but perfectly normal parts of society - but the painting was beginning to turn red for me and it was only day one.

An antique mirror wedged between two bookshelves caught my eye. I vacated my seat and went to stand before it. The girl in the mirror was familiar. Long, dark hair, a light complexion with a smattering of freckles across the nose bridge. It was me, yet it wasn't. The mark stood in stark contrast against my skin. It was a dark purple outline in the shape of a crescent moon. It was a sign that I was changing. It was a sign I was becoming one of them.

I was becoming a Vampyre.

[killedbythehuntress]

Stockholm Syndrome

★·.·´¯`·.·★ .:**:.☆*.:｡.✿ ★·.·´¯`·.·★ 

Also On: AO3 and Wattpad

Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Four

Beautiful art work below by @diligentcranberry - Thank you again, love!

Tags/Warnings:

NSFW, Rape/Non-Con Elements, Twisted Love, Dark!Sebastian Sallow, alcohol use.

★·.·´¯`·.·★ .:**:.☆*.:｡.✿ ★·.·´¯`·.·★ 

Chapter Four.

Things had been quiet. There'd been no news, good or bad. Yet he supposed no news was good news.

Usually anyway.

Today's lack of news worried him because today's news should have been in the form of a letter. He'd waited until midnight for an owl from her, hoping perhaps she'd been busy and was running behind. But still, nothing arrived. 

And that itself struck fear in his heart.

It had only been three weeks since he'd last visited her, sure. But she'd seemed so adamant about being left alone, she wouldn't have forgotten her obligation so quickly. 

Her want to be alone broke his heart, he'd watched her pull away from everyone in their last two years. Watched as she barely ate, barely slept, and only took enough care of herself to survive. 

She was alive, but she wasn't living. 

He'd missed her, they'd gotten close during their fifth year and while he knew he would never hold a candle to Sebastian when it came to her heart, it didn't stop him from loving her. Not that she'd have allowed it, before or after sending Sebastian to Azkaban. 

The rain was coming down heavily now and he was soaked to the bone. It hadn't been raining in London so he hadn't expected the need for an umbrella or anything. His hair was a mess and his suit weighed him down almost, but he didn't care. He'd be fine, he just needed to make sure she was too.

Stepping up to her cottage now, something felt strange to him. The area around it seemed strangely quiet and it made him raise his wand defensively. Something was wrong. The usual thrum of her magic was no longer roaming like static in the air, and from the complete lack of it, she'd not been here for a few days. 

Pushing on the door, it opened slowly and that sent the pit building in his stomach wider. His wand had picked up the multitude of locks she had, the fact that not one held the door closed for him made him want to bolt. 

'If he didn't know for sure she was gone, he didn't have to worry.' The thought was cowardly and almost laughable. He'd worry regardless. Stepping inside, he noticed the frigid air, the fire having been out for a while, and no residual warmth was left. 

Dragging his wand around him, he tried to get a feel for the area. Besides the furniture, the home was empty. The bedroom door was splintered and broken, and the dresser that had clearly been in front of it was in pieces. 

His heart broke further as he realized, the wind from the storm outside caused the bedroom window to slam repeatedly against the stone wall. 

Falling down into the kitchen chair, his face scrunched in despair. Why hadn't he been more insistent? He'd known Sebastian would come here, he knew Sebastian would've tried something. 

He should've tried to persuade her to come with him. Stay with him until the Aurors had done their work. But he hadn't, he'd settled to leave her alone with no one who understood the dangers. Leaving her vulnerable to him. 

He should've come sooner. He should've perhaps insisted on visits instead of letters. His heart hurt. His head swirling with mounting what-ifs. And yet one thing rang louder than anything else.

He'd been too late. 

— — — — — —

She'd lost track of time. Lost track of the day in fact. Being underground meant that you didn't know whether it was daytime or nighttime. She wished she'd been the type of person who wore or held a watch of some kind, at least that way she'd be a little less lost. She spent most of her time laying in the bed that Sebastian had transfigured for them, hidden behind the curtains from the main room. She had no idea what he did throughout the day, besides the times he made her get up to eat. She hadn't seen her wand since they got here, it seemed he always kept it hidden or on his person, and while usually, that would urk her, the longer she stayed chained in this cavern, the less she cared about anything. 

She wondered if anyone had noticed she was gone yet. She supposed Ominis would figure it out at some point - when he noticed she hadn't sent the weekly owl he'd requested. But who knows whether enough time had even passed for that to have occurred. 

"C'mon, sweetheart. We can't have you holed up in here all the time." She heard Sebastian say, seemingly having had enough of her moping. She heard the curtain separating the makeshift bedroom pull back but even that didn't make her move. Her gaze unmoving from the faded mural on the wall. She felt his presence move further into the area, his weight causing the mattress to indent behind her. She supposed she should be grateful he'd left her to herself for this long. "I've given you enough time to become accustomed to this. You should be thankful. But it's time you start helping yourself." 

His words caused her nose to wrinkle, he'd ripped her from her home, her life. Used her drunkenness to take advantage and was keeping her isolated and chained here. Yet he wanted her to be thankful? She wanted to yell at him, hit him, scream at him, but she couldn't muster the energy. Not even the anger building inside of her is enough to get her adrenaline running. "I've made you up a bath, c'mon." She didn't move though and didn't turn to look at him but she heard him sigh. His large hand wrapped around her upper arm to tug her closer to him until he could pick her up. 

"Put me down!" She finally said, gathering what little energy she could in an attempt to push away from him. His grip held tight though as he carried her downstairs. "It's okay, let me take care of you." He murmured against her hair, his lips pressing against her temple as she shuddered. Part of her wanted to surrender to him, let him take care of her, and love her. But the other part of her knew this was wrong, told her that even though she loved him, he was a fugitive and they'd never be happy - even if she wanted to believe there was a possibility. 

He set her down in front of a metal wash basin, which itself sat in front of the large fire pit he usually cooked their meals at. She briefly wondered if he was going to remove the collar that he'd made her wear while she was in the bath but his words from when he fit it came back to her. 

'Can't remove it now.' 

He positioned himself in front of her, his hands moving to the buttons of the blouse she wore, she hadn't changed since they'd been here - he had picked up a few items within her home but none of her clothing. The white was now dull, more like a gray, she noted as he pushed it from her shoulders. 

"I can take care of myself!" She hissed once her brain had caught up, pulling away from him, her hands coming up to cover her chemise-covered chest. Sebastian laughed, grabbing her shoulders and pulling her back to him. 

"The last couple of days where you've done nothing but lay in bed unless I've made you move, says otherwise." His words were hard, almost like a warning for her to behave and she frowned. His hands immediately moved to the button of her pants and made quick work of them, leaving her in just the chemise and her bloomers. 

"Please, Sebastian." She tries again, something she's tried a few times since he brought her here. 

"If you're worried about not having anything to wear, don't worry. I stopped in a nearby town the other day to get you some things." His words didn't make her feel any better but she realized he wasn't letting her get out of this. He pulled her chemise over her head before tugging her bloomers down, leaving her naked in front of him. "Couldn't risk going back to your house."

She felt her entire face flush, likely showing her embarrassment at the situation as she tried to use her hands to cover herself. Sebastian chuckled at her actions but said nothing as he picked her up and settled her in the warm water of the bath. 

The water made her sigh as it soothed the aches she hadn't been aware she held. Sebastian pressed his lips to her shoulder as he kneeled next to the tub, his hand rubbing soothingly against her back. "I keep telling you, I just want to take care of you. Please let me." His words were quiet - almost like a mantra that he hoped if he said enough, she'd give in - as he picked up a sponge and soaked it in the water before lathering it with soap. He then resumed his rubbing over her back, this time cleaning her. And for some reason, this felt more intimate than when he'd been inside of her. 

He took his time bathing her, switching between using the sponge to soap her up and his hands which he used to massage her sore muscles. She didn't know how he knew, but she was quietly grateful for it. He hummed something under his breath as he worked and the deep timbre of his voice caused her brain to get a little hazy. She supposed if this is how things would be, she could get used to this. 

No! 

She jolted, she couldn't believe her brain had come up with that! She had to stay strong. She needed to get out of here at some point. She couldn't get complacent.

"There we are, sweetheart. All clean." He mentioned and it briefly felt like he was talking to a child. She blinked up at him as he stood now, and wondered whether he was. He walked away then, moving back towards the stairs as she found herself lost in thought. 

She was essentially acting as if she'd all but given up recently. But things seemed hopeless, without her wand she had no way to escape the collar and chains, and she had no way of bypassing the man-sized spiders that lived beyond the front door.

But even before that, Sebastian's size was imposing, he was at least a head and a half taller than her, and while his time in Azkaban meant he was skinnier than she remembered and less muscular. She would never be able to overpower him without her wand. 

The feeling of him pulling her out of the tub brought her out of her thoughts before he set her on the ground and he wrapped a towel around her. 

When had he come back? How long had he been gone? 

Instinctively, her hands came up to hold it against her, to keep him from seeing her anymore. The fact that she hadn't fought the bath or being pulled from it seemed to please him though, because he gave her a large smile as he brought his hands to cup her cheeks before leaning down to press his lips to hers. "Good girl." Being whispered between kisses. She still didn't know why those words tugged at her below her navel. "I've left some clothes on the bed for you. Think you can get yourself dressed?" He asked as he pulled away from her lips, an expectant look in his eye. 

She chewed at her lower lip and nodded at him, being rewarded with a smile. "Good, and don't get back into bed. I have to go to town and get some more supplies, I don't want to find you cooped up there again. Understand?" Her teeth bit harder into her lip and she nodded, finally turning from him and heading up the stairs to dress. 

Reaching the sleeping area, she noted he'd also changed over the blankets on the bed, putting fresh ones in their place before her eyes fell on the clothes he'd left out for her. 

She picked up the garment, noticing it was nothing but a clean chemise, white and off the shoulder, and once again finding herself wrinkling her nose. The garment would only reach the top of her thighs, barely. Sighing, she heard him rummaging around downstairs before the doors opened and closed as she dried herself and dressed. She looked towards the bed, wanting nothing more than to get back into it and pretend the world didn't exist. But she also didn't want to disobey him, knowing that his temper since leaving Azkaban could be scary. 

Briefly, she wondered if perhaps he'd ease back to the way he'd been before or if this was a permanent change. If there was no way of her escaping this place, she hoped for the former. 

— — — — — —

She'd chosen to curl up in the small seating area that Sebastian had conjured them, picking one of the books he'd pilfered from her home to sit and read. She supposed she should be grateful he'd picked up the book she'd been in the process of reading, she hadn't gotten far into it, but the story by H. G. Wells was compelling enough that even with only a few chapters read, she couldn't wait for the ending. 

She didn't know how long she'd been reading before she heard the sound of curses and explosions from outside the door and frowned, marking the page. She supposed Sebastian was being greeted by more spiders than usual. Marking her page, she set the book down on the sofa cushion before standing, the sound of her chain being the only thing heard for a few moments until she watched Sebastian push through the door, breathing deeply and with a frantic look in his eyes as he pushed it closed. 

Her own, wide eyes watched him quietly, wondering what had him so worked up until he turned to look at her. "Someone recognized me." He said in way of answer, her face probably a mask of horror as she saw the blood covering him. 

"Merlin, are you hurt?" She asked, her own need frantic as she cleared the distance between them both. Her hands reached up to his face and pushed it side to side to check him for any injuries. 

"A few scratches, but they'll heal."

"There's so much blood, Sebastian. Surely it's coming from somewhere." Her voice was becoming louder as her concern grew, trying to pull the jacket and shirt from his shoulders so she could continue her investigation into his wellbeing. 

"Hey!" He said quietly, his hand reaching out to lift her chin once she'd gotten him topless. "I promise I'm fine, I had to make him stop following me." He murmured, leaning forward to press a kiss to her lips, a satisfied smirk on his lips likely from the worry she held. "Diffindo." Was his further explanation and she felt the tension inside her release - which was odd because he'd essentially admitted to harming someone. 

Now that she knew he was okay though, she stopped her panicking, gazing up at him and taking in his face. She could tell he was still feeling smug, but he was attempting to reign it in for her but the grin paired with the blood splattered over him was doing strange things to her - and she remembered the way she'd felt when she'd made his lip bleed in her bed. So when he leaned down for another kiss, she didn't pull a face, she didn't move away, she let him, even reciprocated, her hands coming up to rest on his shoulders. 

The kiss quickly lost control, her brain quiet for a moment as they got wrapped in each other. Sebastian easily licked his way into her mouth to deepen it. She pulled away first, her own face likely streaked with some blood as she noticed a few smears on his. "Fuck, the things you do to me." He murmured, the words quiet and low, his eyes dark with what she could only guess was lust and something else as he stared down at her. "I think I have a promise to keep for you, don't I, sweetheart? Just let me get cleaned up, okay?" He used his eyes to motion upwards, towards the bed and she nodded, a little unsure of herself but eager to find out. 

He pressed a kiss to her forehead then before breaking away to the makeshift bathroom and wash up and she turned on her heel and made her way to the stairs, heading up before nervously sitting against the headboard and waiting for him. 

It doesn't take long before Sebastian joins her, the blood washed from his face and chest. She pulled her legs up to her chest, chewing once more on her lower lip as he advanced towards the bed - the nerves inside her causing her stomach to clench tightly. She doesn't know why she was so eager to come upstairs, did she actually want whatever he had planned? 

Part of her must have, at least. 

He stepped around to what had quickly become her side of the bed and dropped himself down, his hand reaching out to wrap gently around her ankle. "C'mere, sweetheart." He drawled, his fingers moving up slightly to tickle the skin of her calf before he gripped her and tugged, pulling her forward until she was laying on her back in front of him. 

He slithered his way above her, his hand moving up to drag his knuckles softly against her cheek. "You're so beautiful." He whispered, leaning down to press a chaste kiss to her lips. "I want to make you feel good." She swallowed around the nervous lump in her throat as he moved down her body, his lips moving to drag over her jaw, moving over the skin of her throat and skimming against her upper chest. 

Her breath hitched, her hands clammy and gripping at the blankets beneath her as her eyes stayed on him, wondering what he was going to do. She'd been drunk last time, unable to think straight. Being sober now meant that all she could do was think and the fact she was so wholly inexperienced in this regard made her body tense under him as he tugged down the chemise enough to expose her breasts. 

"Gorgeous." She heard him murmur, his head dipping to take a nipple into her mouth. The gasp she releases sticks in her throat, for some reason having not expected this action - especially paired with his hand sliding to her upper thigh, his fingertips teasing her mound. He lifted off her breast, the peak starting to pucker and harden at the shift in temperature while he moved to the other.

Sebastian's tongue flicks at the teat before his teeth graze over it, sending a shiver down her spine and the - now familiar - tug below her navel. She squirms slightly below him and she can feel him grin, shifting his position to move between her legs. His hand moved closer to her folds and she felt a little embarrassed, his fingers pressing between them and against her entrance. His finger presses insistently, slipping inside and her back arches with a small moan. "I've got you." He cooes, releasing her breast now to press a kiss to the valley. 

He then shuffles his body down and she frowns, her eyes half-lidded but back on him. "Seb... What?" She began, only to be shushed with a dazzling smile from him. 

"Trust me." 

She presses her lips together tightly before his head dips between her legs, his tongue slipping out to press against her. Immediately, she clamped her legs closed in an attempt to dissuade him, her hands coming up in an attempt to push him away. "Sebastian-" She tried to object, surely this wasn't something that should be done. 

His hand clamped around her wrist, moving it away from him and pinning it on the bed against her hip, his head lifting slightly enough to glare at her. "Don't make me tie you down again." He warned, and she shuddered, feeling her walls clenching around the finger inside of her - that fact bringing a smile to his face despite the glare. 

Once he deemed she'd settled enough, his face disappeared once more between her legs. His tongue dragged slowly over her folds. The hand pinned to the bed clenched into the blankets tightly. Sebastian used his free hand to part her folds, allowing his tongue to slip further against her and causing her to squirm. 

His tongue swiped up against her nub and her hips pushed against his face with a moan. She could feel his smirk against her. "There?" He murmured, his tongue swirling over the area before pulling it between his lips and sucking. 

She cried out, her hand moving from the bedding to his hair and gripping tight with a curse. She felt him chuckle, a second finger joining his first to pump inside of her, curling experimentally. He used the sounds escaping her to know where to keep his ministrations when she needed more. 

His fingers twisted inside her, curling upwards and catching a spot inside her that made her legs threaten to close against his head again, quivering with the effort. "Please..." She moaned, not really sure what she was pleading for. His tongue continued to lap at her folds, paying extra attention to her clit. 

Her chest heaves, trying to breathe through the feelings flying through her from his actions, she could feel something building in her lower stomach. "Good girl." He hummed before taking her clit back into his mouth and sucking, his fingers curling against that spot inside of her. It was all too much, the feeling of tugging at her navel finally snapping as a hazy pleasure washed over her with a loud cry. She tugged harshly at his hair, her body writhing below from her orgasm, Sebastian continuing to lick through it. 

Her body became limp against the pillow, Sebastian climbing up the bed to rest beside her on his side, head propped up against his closed fist. She looked up at him through a bleary gaze, his face was glistening against the candlelight and she sighed softly, feeling sleepy all of a sudden. 

He wiped his hand against his pants before bringing it up to run his fingers through the hair against her face. "I love you, sweetheart." Leaning down to press a kiss to her forehead as her eyes fell closed. "Sleep now, we'll talk later." He murmured quietly, his arms wrapping around her as she fell asleep. 

[morelikeravenbore]

imma be cheeky and ask for 3 and 4: what’s your favourite lines of narration and dialogue? 💚

Well hello there, small green gremlin, and what a wonderful trench coat you have on today!

Thanks for the question! I'm answering yours first because I thought it'd be the easiest. Plot twist: it was hard af (that's what she said.)

✨ Favourite narration. I loove writing prose. One of my biggest inspirations is L. M. Montgomery and the way every single paragraph she writes is just stunningly beautiful — not that I dare compare myself to a talent like hers, but bloody hell, nothing else inspires me quite like her work does.

I remember being stoked on this description of Hogsmeade when I first wrote it, and I don't cringe reading back on it so, that's a good sign, I guess.

Like everything in the Scottish Highlands, Hogsmeade village appeared to have grown right out of the earth itself, all mossy-greens and earthy-browns as if its architects had been garden gnomes and fairies. Rows of precariously leaning shopfronts lined the cobbled streets, their facades reaching toward the sky like twisted tree trunks, crooked and uneven. Aurélie would not have been surprised to learn that Hogsmeade hadn't been built at all, but grown from the soil up. Where she'd come from, everything had been pink, not green. Her home of Toulouse, whose magnificent terracotta buildings had given it the nickname La Ville Rose, was a far cry from the rugged wilds of Scotland. Though, much like Hogsmeade, Toulouse was a maze of narrow streets, there was nothing organic about the Pink City; everything within it had been meticulously crafted, a living fairytale, a refined work of art that glowed pink and gold whenever the sun set over its stunning facade. A rose quartz city, her mother used to call it. More starkly still, Beauxbatons had been clean and white, adorned with trimmings of gold and powder blues. Grand and imposing with its seven stories of gleaming alabaster marble, soaring windows and endlessly high ceilings, it had surely been built by angels, not garden gnomes. Taking in her surroundings, Aurélie was certain there were no Baroque carvings or gilded mirrors in the Highlands; no silk curtains or velvet sofas, no marble fireplaces or tapestries woven with unicorn hair, and surely when the sun set over the tiny magical village, there was not a shade of pink to be seen. And yet, for all its ramshackle structures and muddy roads, Hogsmeade was not without its charm; uneven and loud, yes - but alive. - How to Make a Villain, chapter 8.

✨Favourite dialogue. I freakin love writing dialogue nom nom nom, especially the flirty bickering between Sebastian and Aurélie. Its my favourite. I could write an entire book of nothing but these two pretending they're not into eachother. No plot, only banter.

Merlin, and here he was thinking that Anne had been the most exasperating girl he'd ever known. 'What rubbish!' she snapped, suddenly sounding very French again. 'You can't seriously believe that nonsense! I'm not going to turn into some soulless creature of darkness just because I want to keep my magic under control! What kind of ridiculous concept is that? What sort of Dark-Arts-loving nutjob wrote this book, anyway?' - Sebastian tried really, really hard not to laugh at this, - 'and why should I believe what's written in some crusty old book, anyway? You know what, just forget I told you anything about this whole stupid magic thing! I don't want to talk about this ever again! And don't you dare tell another living soul, Sebastian Sallow, or I swear -' 'Please,' he scoffed, 'who am I going to tell?' 'I don't know!' she burst out. 'All your girlfriends probably!' Sebastian choked. 'Girlfriends?' he spluttered. 'What girlfriends? You think I have girlfriends? Plural?' 'I don't know!' 'I don't even have one girlfriend, let alone several!' 'Well, you seem...' she gestured at him, visibly flustered, 'popular!' 'I'm not popular!' 'Well, I don't know, do I? I don't know anything about you, but you know all these secrets about me and I don't even know if you-' '-have a girlfriend?' 'No! I mean - that's not - I don't care if - that was just an example!' - How to Make a Villain, chapter 11.

OOP OKAY THIS WAS LONG. THANKS AGAIN FOR THE QUESTION. SORRY IF I WENT OVERBOARD LOL.

How to Make a Villain: wattpad | ao3

[sixofpomegranates]

The Dove and the Agent | Ch. 31

🕊 Story Masterlist  | 18+ | AO3 | Wattpad 🕊

🔙 Previous Chapter

Chapter CW: Mentions of anxiety/food-alcohol+consumption, jealousy, pining, exes, friends with benefits, Van Gogh,

A/N: Hi! Sorry that it's been so long! As you may have hurt: I published my first NOVEL! (Big thanks to those who told me to unalive myself for publishing it) The Link is in my profile!!

I hope you enjoy the new chapter, and tell me how you like the new cover!

"Do you know that it is very, very necessary for honest people to remain in art? Hardly anyone knows that the secret of beautiful work lies to a great extent in truth and sincere sentiment."

— Vincent Van Gogh

✿ Dove's POV ✿

Today? A total success — I mean, as much as a funeral can be one...

Spencer seemed so happy at the end, even dancing to a song. Not even to mention that he said that I was now his favorite person.

I did not cry because of it, but I definitely wanted to.

I had never been somebody's favorite anything before. I like to think that maybe I would've been Ellie's, but she never understood what I meant with the whole "favorite person" notion of mine... To be fair, I overthink all of it too much anyway.

When the guest had left, and solely the team and I were left at the funeral home, we helped clean up. Afterward, as we actually wanted to go home, Rossi invited us back to his mansion since tomorrow Alex Blake, Aaron Hotchner, and Kate Callahan would be leaving again.

I was a little tired, my batteries drained from all the human interactions, but as I saw how excited Professor Reid seemed, I agreed to it.

It was a lovely, warm evening, so we sat outside in the garden, Penelope and Krystall mixing cocktails for us. I sat next to my Professor, simply listening to the ongoing conversations.

"Here, Kitten," Penelope said, handing me a deep red drink in a sugar-rimmed glass.

"Thanks," I chirped in reply, feeling Spencer eyeing the cocktail. I held it to him, offering him a sip, but he instantly declined, mumbling something about something that red, not seeming healthy.

"So, Dove. You're still in college?" Blake asked me as the previous conversation had died down.

I wasn't exactly excited about having to talk about myself since it wasn't like I had anything interesting to tell, but I nodded, "Yeah. Uhm, I will graduate in July and then directly start my FBI training."

Hotch raised his eyebrows, asking fatherly, "You already got some firearm training?"

Shaking my head, I began fidgeting with my fingers, a little embarrassed, "No. B-But Professor Reid said he'd take me to a shooting range."

As my nervous gaze met Spencer's, he scrunched his nose and grinned at me.

The former BAU Chief nodded, "Okay, the first thing you should learn is not to be afraid of the gun in your hands while also treating it with the uppermost respect. It may be just an inanimate object, but in this job, it is also your partner." While taking a sip from his scotch, he snickered, "Spencer needed years not to get scared by his gun. He even failed his firearms qualification exam in the beginning."

Licking his lips as all laughed, Spencer said, "And now I carry two guns and am an excellent shoot."

Drinking from my cocktail, I was hit with a nice sweetness through and through. It was probably one of those cocktails that hid away just how alcoholic they were—dangerous stuff.

"You like it?" Krystall asked, and I nodded. "It's Pomegranate syrup," Penny explained to the group so everyone having a drink would know.

Leaning over, Spencer whispered into my ear, "Careful, Sweetheart, else you might end up having to spend six months a year in the underworld."

I giggled, looking at him, "Say what you want, but Hades and Persephone had the most unproblematic relationship in all of the Greek pantheon."

He shrugged. "It's not like Zeus made that a difficult task."

Nodding, I giggled, "Yeah, Zeus's a slut." He looked at me, appalled. "Dove." "What? Am I wrong?" I asked, blinking innocently, making him chuckle.

"Who's a slut?" Penelope asked loudly, having parts of our private whispers announced to the whole table.

I quickly shook my head, cheeks starting to become hot as hell. I didn't have the means to explain my unfunny jokes. "Oh, no one. It's nothing."

Tara raised her eyebrows and Emily asked teasingly, "Were we interrupting the fun?"

I quickly shook my head, physically scooting a little away from Spencer while taking a sip from my drink. The awkward silence solely seemed to be noticed by me, but God, the moment was awkward.

Spencer seemed to catch a glimpse of my discomfort, asking Alex quickly, "How's work going?" Turning to me, he explained, "Blake is a professor at Harvard."

"Harvard?" I asked, surprised, feeling my silly little heartstrings being pulled by something I couldn't describe as anything other than melancholia.

The brunette nodded. "Linguistics."

"I always wanted to go to Harvard; they have a great art program," I overshared.

"Can't imagine a smart girl like you didn't get accepted," Aaron said.

I quickly shook my head. "Oh, I did. I actually got accepted by a couple of Ivy League Colleges. I- I just went to Georgetown so I could study with my cousin together."

Ellie. A stinging in my heart, that most certainly had shown in my voice, reminded me so suddenly of her.

Why didn't I think of her lately? What friend was I to just live my life as though my best friend didn't die only a couple of months ago?

Spencer's hand wrapped around my thigh, squeezing it. That guy was reading my mind, I swear.

"You switched majors at Georgetown too," he said, directing the subject into safer waters before I would drown. "Only the final exam was missing to get your title of Master of Fine Arts, right, little bird?"

Kate frowned. "I'm sorry, but how did you go from art to psychology? Not really understandable for me."

"Oh, Uhm, my mom wanted me to change majors because she worried being an Art Major wouldn't get me a real job."

"You know, if you really had all your hours and exams until that, you could ask if you can take the finals with the other students at the end of the semester and get your diploma," Alex informed me.

"Really?" I asked, intrigued and surprised. "Doesn't- Doesn't that mess with my other exams?"

"Only if it's too much for you to learn."

I quickly shook my head, laying one hand on Spencer's and wrapping the other around his wrist.

He chuckled softly as I giggled. "Oh, no. I know that stuff by heart."

"187?" Kate asked. "126," I replied.

"Do you want me to write the dean about it?" my Professor suggested.

I had always wanted to be an artist... Yes, painting and creating art still made me one, but there was something so special to me about having a diploma in the one and only thing I had ever chosen for myself.

My whole life was built on the unsteady ground of academic pressure. My worth was my grades. My hobbies were studying to improve my grades. My mother always discredited my art as a waste of time.

My hobby now academically titling me an artist would prove my mother wrong. It would be something solely for me, something she could never attribute to herself.

This title would be mine.

"Yeah," I whispered.

Spencer smiled. "Sure?"

I nodded. Mom would either don't care or absolutely hate this. She liked to be involved in my academic decisions. "Uh-huh. I want that."

"Look at you, making decisions for yourself," he praised me gently. "Gonna talk to the dean first thing on Monday. Promise."

We smiled at each other, and he squeezed my thigh again. Alex cleared her throat, making us look at her. She took a sip from her beer, smiling at my Professor. "So, Spence, are you seeing somebody at the moment?"

Spencer quickly removed his hand from my thigh, licking his lips which parted into a coy grin. I knew he had no girlfriend, but my wrongly-wired brain still felt anxious about his answer.

He chuckled. "No. No, not at all."

"And you, Dove?" Alex asked.

A very loud laugh escaped me, startling me completely. I quickly shook my head. "Sorry, I- No. No, no chance. I am unfit for any human relationship."

"She's also Franz Kafka," Spencer snickered towards his friend.

"I just relate to that quote," I speedily spoke to my defense.

He nodded teasingly. "Yeah. And you have an awful taste in man. Logan is definitely the blueprint for idiots worldwide."

"Yeah, so? I- Jake's nice, though," I stammered, making him raise his brows. "I was just teasing you a bit, little bird," he said."I didn't know you were still talking to Jake..."

I shrugged, staring down into my drink. I needed to have it sound casual, normal. "I- We're still talking... Kinda. At least once I have the guts to reply to his texts."

Yeah, now that wasn't a dipshit answer at all. I legitimately sounded like a thirteen-year-old.

Penelope looked at me, surprised. "What did he write?" she asked, quickly taking my phone as I held it out to her.

The table became silent, everyone now seeming to be up in my business. Penny cleared her throat dramatically.

"Hey, Dove. Haven't heard from you since our date, and classes switched back to home office. Hope everything is alright. Wanted you to know I had a blast at our date; maybe we could do it again? - J"

I hadn't thought I'd hear from him again, to be honest. I had been awkward and ended up staying with Spencer and the guys, joining their gentleman's night, but apparently, Jake had a blast.

"Aw," Penelope squealed, looking at me. "Why haven't you written back yet?

I shrugged, embarrassed and red-faced.

I mostly didn't write back because I was lost for words. What was I supposed to write? As I'd learned, it takes me ages to build up relationships in a romantic type of way, and I hadn't thought there was a connection between us, even after I'd let him kiss me... So I put it off.

"You want me to tell him off?" Spencer offered promptly.

I shook my head. "N-No," I said, taking my phone back. "I... just need time to figure out what to do."

"If you don't wanna see him again but are too scared to tell him, just let me do it," he insisted.

"I don't know if I don't want to see him again."

My Professor's jaw clenched, and both his eyebrows shot up. "Oh," he said in a suspiciously neutral tone. "Okay."

"It was a nice date," I said.

"You said you two didn't connect." His answer had come so promptly that it threw me off.

"Well, that probably just takes some time. Demisexual and all that, remember?"

"He left you behind at that bar," Spencer frowned, almost disgusted. "Didn't even bother to take you home."

"He left me with you, Derek, Luke, and Matt, because I wanted to stay."

Okay? Was I missing something? Jake was a nice guy, and although at times a little petty, Spencer had no reason to be that upset.

As he shook his head, I asked, "Why don't you like Jake?"

"I don't dislike the boy. I just think someone like you shouldn't date a guy like him," my Professor let out, annoyed.

I furrowed my brows, "Someone like me?"

"A smart, beautiful woman that has options. You could have anyone, so why settle for someone that doesn't sweep you off your feet every second you're together?"

"Yeah, because the guys willing to date me are piling up on my doorstep," I deadpanned.

"Dove," he pressed, making me giggle with a snort.

"No, I'm serious," I insisted with all the sarcasm I had to offer. "It's getting hard opening the door to my apartment. Any more guys, and I'll have to buy a super long ladder and climb in through the window."

"Dove, I am serious." "Well, hi, Serious. I'm Dove."

He looked at me, that one vein on his forehead so much more prominent than usual. "I really don't understand why we're arguing over Jake... It's not like I'm criticizing your relationship with – what's her name? – Max."

"Max is my ex. You can't compare that," he exclaimed, making me answer him just as loudly. "And Jake is a guy that took me on a date ones. See? I told you this conversation is ridiculous."

"I'm just watching out for you, Dove." "Well, don't. I think Jake's a nice guy, and I don't care if I can do better in your opinion."

"Dove," he said as if this talk-ending voice of his had ever made me shut up. "Spencer," I replied, watching the vein on his forehead pulsate.

"Guys?" Kate interrupted us.

We both looked at her and then at the others at the table. Derek looked like he was having a blast. Aaron was pinching the bridge of his nose, still smiling however.

Tara and Emily were snickering something behind their hands; then they applauded us. "Brava," Emily said, lifting her glass in our direction. "Encore," Tara chuckled.

Spencer and I shared a look; both embarrassed over others witnessing our nonsensical bickering.

"We should start charging money for this bit," he sighed, resting a hand on my back and starting to rub circles. "I'm sorry, okay?" he said. "I'm backing off—no more overprotectiveness."

It was annoying but sweet that Spencer was overprotective. I nodded, grinning at him. "It's okay. Old habits die hard, I guess."

"I trust your judgment, Sweetheart. When you say he's a good guy, I'll try not to have Penelope stalk his ass."

Derek let out a deeply amused chuckle."Imagine one of us would've overreacted that much when pretty boy had his first little tête-à-tête."

I tilted my head, some of our friends laughed. "Excuse me?"

I was certain I had just misheard that. Spencer wasn't one for flings... Right?

"Everyone has some adventures in their youth. We only know about Reid's because he joined the BAU so young," Aaron said.

I nodded. "So, you know Spencer for quite a long time now?" He smiled. "Since Gideon got him to join the FBI at twenty-two."

Nodding again, I took another sip of my drink. I wasn't a nosey person... No. Not me.

"You wanna hear that story, don't you?" Derek grinned.

My professor answered faster than I could. "No, she doesn't."

The table went mostly silent, ready to let go of the subject unless I'd say something.

"I'd actually like to know," I mumbled.

Spencer groaned. "No, Sweetheart. Don't be nosey."

"I'm not nosey," I answered. "It's just that everybody else seems to know, and I feel left out."

Sighing, Spencer leaned back against his chair, signaling to our friends to tell me the story.

"Okay, so, you know Lila Archer?" Derek asked. I nodded. Who doesn't at this point? "Good. When she starred in this beach-teen TV show, before the Rom-Com with Dean Havans, she had a stalker."

"Yeah, her friend from Julliard. Mom watched Lila's interview with '60 seconds' on the news when I was five or six," I said.

"The BAU was working on that case, and Spencer was her bodyguard," Aaron added.

Feeling my cheeks heat up, I said, smiling, "Okay, yeah, right. Now you're just messing with me. Got it."

I knew jokes like that; my parents made them all the time. It was funny to them telling me lies and having me fall for them. It was like a party trick for them.

"Nah-uh, pretty girl," Derek said.

Penelope handed me her phone. There was an old cover from a gossip magazine.

'A Mystery Man In Lila's Life?' it read. On it: a very, very young Spencer Reid kissing nonother than Lila Archer.

Derek continued the story. "Me and Elle, a former co-worker, caught a very invested paparazzi taking pictures in the bushes when those two were having a little something in Lila's swimming pool."

"The girls in college would have a field trip with this," I said, voice coated in humor. "I mean, Lila Archer? Seriously."

She was so pretty; it actually felt like a kick to the stomach as my brain involuntarily compared me to her.

I held the screen in Spencer's direction, noting a deep blush on his cheeks and how he avoided my eyes. "It was just a kiss," he insisted.

"Uh-uh. Those hickeys said something else, Spence," a woman joked as she stepped out into the garden accompanied by Portia, who'd come home and seemed to have let her in.

The stranger was pretty, around the same age as my friends. Her almond-shaped dark brown eyes gazed teasingly at my Professor, who jumped up and pullied her into a hug.

One after another, my friends left the table, greeting the dark-haired woman. Her arm was still slung around Spencer's waist; his arm was laid over her shoulders.

I got up as well, to be polite, I assumed. A smile was plastered on my face as I joined them.

Why the fuck were they so touchy with each other?

"Dove," my Professor said. "This is Elle Greenway."

Elle. Okay. I had contacted her via mail days prior but never got an answer.

"Hi," I said, holding my hand out to Elle... Purposefully so she would take her hands off Spencer.

Like, seriously, get a room. Just don't get a room, you know?

She shook my hand, smiling. "Hello."

"Dove's one of my students," Spencer told her half-heartedly while walking her to the table and offering her his seat. "I can't believe you are here. It's been two years, minimum."

One of your students... Uh-huh. Spencer, you're missing a few things. I am not only your student. I'm also:

Your colleague.

And your neighbor.

And your friend.

And your fucking favorite person?

I sat down at the table again, not liking that I had to sit next to this woman I didn't know. Emptying my drink, Penelope quickly replaced it with another, winking at me.

"Don't be jealous, Kitten. They're just old friends," she whispered while I watched Elle running her hand through my Professor's curly mane.

"Not jealous," I whispered back, a little insulted, starting to drink my new, more alcoholic beverage.

*****

After two more glasses, it was fair to say that I was tipsy. Elle was nice, one of those bad bitches who didn't take shit from anybody, having completely encaptured Spencer's attention... Making me annoyed.

I wasn't jealous. I was annoyed.

"I totally saved your life," my Professor insisted as they discussed an old case in which a magic trick performed by him had saved the day.

Portia had joined us shortly after Elle, and since then, I sat between her and Penelope.

"Green's not your color. Take a shot," the blonde said, filling mine, her, and Penny's shot glasses with tequila again.

"I look good in green," I informed her, pouring the burning alcohol down my throat and scrunching my nose at the taste.

Rossi had already decided that we were all going to stay the night. Yet, with Alex, Kate, and Aaron here as well, we needed to share the rooms.

I couldn't stop my face from scrunching up as Elle rested her hand on my Professor's thigh. Way too high up on his thigh, actually. Flirting-territory high.

Standing up and grabbing the tequila bottle, Penelope announced, "Okay, Kitten, Portia, let's go upstairs, fill the air mattress, and change into our jammies."

I was going to stay in a room with Penny and Luke. Where Spencer was going to sleep was a mystery to me since he was too busy catching up with his friends, but that wasn't my problem... Just didn't know if I could sleep without my white-noise koala.

Portia pulled me to my feet, and we walked inside. In her bedroom, Penelope and I sat on the bed while the blonde searched through her closet.

She threw short hot pants and a tank top at me. "You think Spencer and this Elle are doing it?" she asked, making me choke on the sip of tequila I had just taken.

"No," I said, irritated. "He- He just came out of a relationship a couple of months ago."

"As far as I know, they're just friends," Penny said, changing into the pajamas from her go-bag she kept in her car.

"They have that energy between them, though," Portia said while I turned my back to them to change into the clothes she'd handed me. Looking me up and down, she added, "That looks hot on you."

In the mirror in the far left corner of Portia's bedroom, I inspected the scratches on my throat. I was a lot of things, but hot wasn't one of them.

We walked into the guest bedroom and let the electronic air pump blow up the mattress while we continued drinking.

"So, you snatched yourself a Luke Alvez," Portia started. "How's it going?"

Squealing happily, Penelope chirped, "Amazing. Like, I knew he's a great man, but now I know know he's a great man."

"Sounds awesome, Penny," I said, having her pet my knee.

"I'm sorry, Kitten. I didn't want to rub it into your face."

"You didn't?" I told her, confused, taking another sip of tequila. "I'm really happy for you and Luke. You're my friends."

"You sure?"

"Absolutely," I assured her. "No matter what my situation is, I would never not be happy for you out of envy."

"Okay, then..." Penny said with a dramatic pause. "We're thinking about moving in together."

"Already?" I asked, surprised.

"Yes. Luke has two dogs, as you know, and my apartment is too small... So now the question is if I move into Luke's house, or we buy a new one."

"That's great. I- I'll help on moving day if you want," I offered. "I hope I'm one day as in love as you two are."

"Can't believe you're single," Portia said. "You are so cute."

I shook my head. "I'm basic at best, and my trauma didn't even make me funny, only weird."

"Don't say shit like that," the blonde scolded me. Penelope agreed. "You are amazing, smart, pretty, and kind."

They passed the bottle between them, and I asked, "Do you really think Spencer and Elle have something going on?"

"So you are into him," Portia said, but I shook my head.

"N-No. I don't really feel things like that. Also, is Spencer, my favorite person, and having any non-platonic feelings for him would ruin that," I explain, blushing.

"What's a favorite person?" Portia asked, making me shrug while thinking of how to explain it without seeming like a crazy person.

"It's like a comfort person, I guess. Somebody who knows that you're broken but still stays. Somebody who makes you feel like you're worth the effort."

The silence between us was broken when Penny said, "Okay. That just killed me." She wiped a non-existent tear from her eye. "Does Reid know how you feel about him?"

I nodded. "I- I don't know if he fully grasps the concept of the title, but he lives up to it as though he does."

"I say that's love," Portia announced. As I shook my head, she added, "That level of feelings is love. Platonic or romantic, doesn't matter."

Taking the last sip from the tequila bottle, I said, "The thing that bugs me about all about Elle is just the same as with Max, JJ, and Lila fucking Archer. They are so pretty and confident and have their shit together. Why is that his type? I'm really starting to get an inferiority complex."

"Two things," Portia said, holding up three fingers but quickly collecting herself. "First, stop comparing yourself to others. No matter how beautiful you think a person is, some will always disagree with you. Secondly, you're scared that Spencer could like anybody more than you."

"Because if he has a girlfriend, he'll stop spending time with me. I bet she wouldn't be the biggest fan of me sleeping in Spencer's bed or him calling me Sweetheart, either..." I said, guilt filling me. "I'm selfish. He deserves to be happy, but it legitimately makes me want to vomit."

"Yeah, it's selfish," Penny agreed. "Thanks," I answered sarcastically. "But Spencer is no better. Why else do you think he doesn't like Jake?"

I shrugged, making Penelope give Portia a quick rundown of who Jake was.

"Oh," Portia laughed at the part where Penelope shared her theory of the migraine Spencer had gotten last week being actually jealousy induced. "He is so jealous. You two are literally matching that one Ariana Grande song."

Both started singing Boyfriend, absolutely motivated and completely off-key.

Wanting to take another sip, I noted the empty bottle. "Not drunk enough for this shit."

"You know what that means," Portia laughed. "Let's go downstairs and get another bottle."

We walked downstairs, about to enter the kitchen, when Penelope stopped us. There were two people inside, talking. One was Elle, and the other person, standing with their back in our direction, was Spencer.

"I'm sorry things didn't work out with Max," Elle said.

Spencer sighed. "Well, what can you do? At least we didn't end entirely on bad terms. You're sure you wanna go back to the hotel? You could stay here."

"Why?" Elle asked. "You offering to share a room with me?"

Stepping closer and rubbing her hand over his chest, she said. "It's been a while. Why don't you just come with me, and we spend the night as we would before your relationship?"

Oh. Portia had read the signs right. I swallowed roughly, sharing a look with the two blondes. Maybe we should spy on them.

"Let's go back upstairs," I whispered, tugging on Penny's arm. "Eavesdropping is a shitty thing to do."

Spencer leaned down closer to Elle, and that was when Portia grabbed my hand and dragged me back to mine and Penelope's room.

Fuck. It shouldn't even bother me as much as it did. Spencer was a single man who was allowed to have as many casual flings and fuck buddies as he wanted to. It was none of my business.

Drunk Dove truly was a jealous bitch.

*****

♜ Spencer's POV ♜

"I can't," I told Elle, taking her hands off my chest and holding them in mine.

Of course, never when I was in a relationship, but Elle and I had made it a habit of seeing each other casually whenever she was in town after leaving the FBI.

Now that I was single, it was more than fair for her to assume I would take her up on her offer and fuck her silly to get rid of pent-up tension, but I didn't feel any interest in her anymore.

She was still a friend, and I had been thrilled to see her since she wasn't the most reliable person when it came to keeping in touch, but my body held no desire for her since my heart already lived elsewhere.

"Can I ask why?" she questioned calmly.

"Dove," was all I said.

"Your student?" "She's so much more than just a student," I said, holding back the urge to brag about my little bird.

Elle tilted her head. "I didn't know you two are-" I interrupted her. "We aren't."

A grin spread on her lips. "Spencer Reid, are you in love?"

I nodded, cheeks burning. "Very much so."

"Haven't heard you say that since Maeve," she said. "Too bad I didn't get to talk to her much."

"Dove's shy and today probably very drunk, thanks to Portia and Penelope."

We both chuckled.

"How bout us having some lunch before I leave tomorrow? You could bring her along," Elle suggested as I brought her to the front door, a cab already waiting outside.

"I'll check if she's up for it. Else it'll be just the two of us," I promised her, holding open the door for her.

"Stop talking to me like that, or I'll take you back to the hotel with me," she warned jokingly, hugging me goodbye.

"Back off, woman. I told you I'm devoted to another," I joked back.

I waited until Elle was in the cab, then returned to the kitchen, where Dove and Portia were in the midst of stealing some snacks and alcohol.

"Oh. Hey, ladies," I greeted them, Dove looking at me shortly with a tight-lipped smile.

"Hi," she mumbled, continuing to unpack frozen pizza pockets and putting them on a plate.

Portia looked me up and down with a smile. "Where's Elle?" she asked, something in her voice almost sounding like an allegation.

"Drove back to her hotel," I answered casually.

Portia nodded. "Didn't think she's your type, tbh, but like, good for you."

"We're just friends," I told Rossi's stepdaughter. "Did I do something to upset the two of you?"

Dove elbowed the blonde gently, them exchanging a look, and then she smiled at me. "She's nice... From what I could see, I mean," my little bird rambled. "Didn't really talk to her a lot; she also never answered the mail I sent, but yeah... Nice."

"Glad to hear that, Sweetheart," I answered, hoping she wasn't being passive-aggressive right now. "She actually asked us to have lunch with her tomorrow before she leaves."

"Us?" Portia asked, laughing teasingly while taking the pizza pockets from the microwave. "Don't think Dove's into threesomes."

I watched Dove become pale instantly. "I'm not into sex in general," she informed her new friend, taking the bottle of tequila from her. "Tequila makes you aggressive."

The blonde looked at her. "Tequila makes me woke."

"Nobody using the word 'woke' is actually as aware of things as they believe to be," Dove giggled, taking one of the pizza pockets. "Why don't you go upstairs with the food and the wine?"

Portia nodded, trying to grab the tequila again, but Dove moved it away. "Uh-uh. I'm cutting you off before you end up in a fistfight."

As we were alone, I asked, "Did I do something to make her hate me?"

Doce shook her head, blushing. "W-We might've overheard you and Elle talking earlier."

No. Fuck.

God, please tell me Dove didn't hear me say I'm in love with her.

"Oh, I- uhm... What did you hear?" I stammered.

"Nothing," my little bird smiled.

"You're lying."

"Just to make you feel better," she assured. "We shouldn't have spied on you."

I stepped closer. Did she know?

"You look pale," Dove mumbled, hand reaching out to my cheek. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. Just a little tired," I lied.

She quickly withdrew her hand, brushing some of her white-blonde mane behind her ears. "Are you leaving soon?"

I furrowed my brows. "Why should I leave? We were going to stay the night."

"Oh. Oh, yeah. Okay... Guess I just thought you'd leave with Elle because..." Her voice fell silent as she broke eye contact.

"Can you tell me what you overheard?" I asked as it dawned on me that the picture she had of me right now wasn't the best. "From favorite person to favorite person?"

"Just that you and Elle are... You know," Dove said, quickly looking at me. "I- I'm not judging. Elle is very pretty, and you seem to get along well. I just thought you'd take her up on the offer to drive to her hotel together, and yeah, guess I was wrong."

She thought I was having sex with Elle... Which wasn't entirely wrong, but she definitely missed the most crucial part of it all. Herself.

Elle and I? We were in the past.

Now I just needed to convince Dove about it without dropping the "I love you"-bomb on her.

"Elle and I, we-"

She interrupted me, smiling. "You don't have to justify yourself. It's also none of my business who you're hooking up with."

"We're not hooking up," I said. "We did... In the past, but not anymore."

"So you're just friends now?" I nodded, making her tilt her head. "I don't get that. How do you turn that kind of emotions just off?"

"It was just sex, no love," I chuckled.

Dove shrugged, taking a sip of tequila straight from the bottle. "Guess that's the demisexuality for me 'cause I can't separate those two things. Casual sex is so weird to me. I mean, sex in general because but, yeah... You know what I mean."

I nodded. "I know what you mean, Sweetheart."

She shifted her weight to her other side, wobbling.

"How drunk are you?" I asked, making her giggle.

"Pretty drunk," she answered, breaking her pizza pocket and handing me one of the halves.

I took a bite, burning my tongue. "That is so hot," I exclaimed, gulping firey tequila to save my tongue.

"It's fresh out of the microwave. What did you expect?" Dove giggled.

I wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her against my chest, pressing a kiss to her temple.

"Can I tell you something?" she asked quietly.

"Everything."

"Portia asked me what a favorite person is because I mentioned that you're mine, and I had a pretty hard time explaining it..." she started. "Do you know what I mean when I tell you that you're my favorite person?"

I nodded, "I think I do."

Her big blue eyes stared at me. "Can I try to explain it to you anyway? Just to make sure?"

"Of course," I said.

I held the title of favorite person dear to my heart. I was sure to know what she meant, but there was no harm in hearing it come from her heart-shaped lips.

"I'm all ears," I cooed.

"My favorite artist is Vincent Van Gogh," she said.

"Something within me resonates with him ever since I was little. He struggled with his mental health, his parents didn't understand him—even asked him to move out, he was often treated like he was crazy, and he couldn't keep a job although he wanted nothing more than to be needed and do good.

"It already started off wrong when he was born. There were expectations put upon him he just couldn't fulfill. His still grieving parents named him after his older brother, who died at birth the year prior, with whom Vincent even shared a birthday..."

Dove shook her head, wavy white-blond her framing her face. "I'm sorry, I'm rambling. What I want to say is: Vincent Van Gogh had a brother named Theodorus—or Theo for short. He actually had five more siblings, but bear with me here," she said gently.

"Although Vincent had a good relationship with all his siblings... his and Theo's was special. Theo was four years younger, but he was sort of taking on the big brother role. He encouraged Vincent to start painting as he wanted to be an artist but didn't dare to, he bought him paint, he financially supported him.

"Theo would say that he was able to sell Vincent's paintings at his job as an art dealer and gave him money, yet what actually happened was that nobody wanted those paintings. So Theo lied and secretly hoarded all the paintings at home because he believed in Vincent and knew that one day the world would appreciate his brother's art as much as he did.

"He was there when Vincent needed to be institutionalized and made sure he was allowed to continue painting in there. He could've just let Vincent rot there as so many did back in the day with mentally ill family members, but he didn't.

"Theo said that loving his brother was hard at times as it felt like Vincent was torn between two different personalities, but his unwavering love for him always stayed strong.

"When Vincent then was on his deathbed, Theo wasted no time traveling to him and sat next to his brother until he died."

Taking a deep, shaky breath, Dove blinked away some tears. "Shortly after Vincent's death, Theo lost it, having to be institutionalized. He died only six months after this brother, some saying he couldn't handle the loss of Vincent as he was his only friend. It was simply too much. His wife Johanna made sure they could be together in death, burying the brothers side by side in a commune in France.

"Vincent was Theo's favorite person and vice versa. I never loved anybody like that except for Ellie. So, when I tell you that you're my favorite person, I mean that you are the Theo to my Vincent. That I know, I can trust you to be there for me even when I am too broken to be loved."

Dove wiped away her tears; I helped her while blinking away mine. Her explanation was so personal, raw, and vulnerable. I didn't wonder that she struggled to define it to Portia.

I still hadn't thought about how I would go about my feelings toward her. I didn't know if she would ever romantically return them, but I was okay with this.

Pure, unapologetic love.

Her words explained it better than I ever could. Seeing the other's most ugly self and still loving them was special and a deeper form of love than I'd ever experienced.

Dove loved me as her Theo, and would never stop, even if I'd turn into Vincent.

I wiped some tears from my eyes, knowing that I would go through all the hardships my life had given me one hundred times again if this would be where I would end up.

"I love you too, little bird," I promised her. "Always will, as much as you'll need me to."

I respected the wobbly line of platonic love between us, but how platonic was love between soulmates? Was it even to be separated in platonic and romantic love, or was it so much more than any of our simple-minded human words could describe?

Dove smiled at me, stating, "I need a hug."

Within seconds I had pulled her into one. Pressing her face into my chest, she mumbled, "I miss Ellie. Don't know why, but today it hurts again."

I gently rubbed her back. "It's okay. I understand it."

"I know. You always do," she said. "You're my person."

She pulled away from the hug, looking at the cold pizza pocket and the open tequila bottle on the kitchen counter.

"Are you staying with Penny, Luke, and me? We could share the air mattress on the floor," she asked, making me kiss her forehead.

"Of course," I said. "But just be warned that I'm getting too used to us sleeping in the same bed.

She giggled. "Ditto. We're so co-dependent."

"So, does my favorite person come to lunch with me tomorrow?" I asked, making her forehead crease. "You do not have to, Sweetheart."

"Only if you promise I won't see you flirting with Elle," Dove finally said, sounding a little jealous. "That would be so awkward. Don't wanna be the third wheel."

I chuckled, promising her I wouldn't.

How should I even look at another woman if my heart had already arrived, anyway?

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Artist/Painter AU (4) Masterlist

Links Last Checked: April 15th, 2022

part one, part two, part three

AmazingSketches (ao3) - enthuzimuzzy

Summary: Phil Lester is just a film editor living alone with his plants and working on his short film. But on the side, he runs a Daniel Howell fan blog and chats with a mysterious stranger with the url flamingdan611. But who is flamingdan611 really? Will they ever meet? And will Phil like what he sees if they do?

And what’s up with all these eerily familiar pictures Dan is posting?

Charcoal - (ao3) starboydjh

Summary: Dan gets lost in the art store, Cute Employee With Glasses (ie Phil) comes to his rescue.

Contrasting Colors (ao3) - starboydjh

Summary: Phil’s colorblind and his boyfriend Dan’s an artist. When Dan suggests Phil helps him out with a painting, Phil’s more than a bit skeptical.

eloquent graffiti (ao3) - danhedonia (deathpeach)

Summary: It was a beautiful, relatively simple scene; a field with mountains off in the horizon, a galaxy for a sky, and a silhouette of a man made of stardust laying in a field, looking up at the universe above him.

Phil didn’t know it at the time, but that was the first painting of his that Dan inspired. Dan was his spaceman, his beautiful work of art that Phil wanted to spend the rest of his life recreating in every possible way.

I Have My Freedom (but I don't have much time) (ao3) - sierraadeux

Summary: Phil just wants to get away. To clear his mind of everything and reconnect with a long-lost passion. A certain horse and the rancher who comes to his aid have other ideas though - filling Phil's mind, and his sketchbook, with brown eyes and charcoal dotted freckles. He only has the summer. And he's not here to make friends, human or equine.

Master Painter, Aspiring Model (ao3) - Spring_Haze

Summary: Phil Lester is a master painter looking for a muse. He finds the ultimate muse in Dan, a young university student who becomes his nude model. Over a period of six weeks, the two men fall for each other and have to make a decision when Dan’s contract.

Math Notes and Flower Doddles (ao3) - navinedaughter

Summary: Phil Lester is that dorky guy who always doodles on everything. Dan Howell is the school’s most popular boy and star athlete. They aren’t really on each other’s radar, save the occasional beating or teasing from Dan. Then one day they get sat next to each other, and Phil finds out that Dan doodled on his notes too. More and more classes shove them together, and the reaction isn’t something anyone could have predicted.

Messy Handwriting Club (wattpad) - vendettafrank

Summary: Dan is an artist. His main goal in life is to create a masterpiece. No matter how cliche that sounds. Every day is a struggle when you have art block. One day, on a Halloween night something changes and Dan draws something he never expected to draw. But the next day the drawing is no longer in the canvas…

Of Stages and Sketchbooks - cocktailaunt

Summary: High School AU: Dan is a confident, outgoing theater kid who has a crush on the mysterious, quiet art student that likes to wear leather jackets.

Painting Flowers (ao3) - starrywrite

Summary: AU! Stereotypes insist that tattoo artists are usually terrifyingly intimidating with big muscles and thick accents. And then there’s Phil Lester: lanky, awkward, and ironically afraid of needles, yet arguably London’s finest tattoo artist and manager of the infamous Ink Poisoning. Despite the fact that Phil’s life is considered, by some, to be a bit unorthodox, there’s nothing in the world he’d change about it… except maybe he’d like someone to come home to other than his hairless cat, Dobby. But it goes without saying that after the catastrophe that was his last relationship, Phil can’t help but to cling to the safety net that is remaining single.

And then he meets Dan Howell, the budding florist who takes over the flower shop across the street and soon after becomes “the pastel flower prince of his heart” (as dubbed by Phil’s best mate Katie). Despite insisting that he feels no romantic attraction to the florist, Phil can’t deny that that needles aren’t the only thing that makes his heart race anymore.

Rose Thorns and Needles (ao3) - galaxeephan

Summary: Dan's grandfather passed his flower shop down to Dan, who finally meets the tattoo artist next door.

Some Kind Of Folliful (ao3) - danfanciesphil (thejigsawtimess)

Summary: Dan has one friend, and only because he was forced into it. Phil is loud, excitable, and irritatingly happy all of the time. Phil seems to find Dan's perpetual attitude funny, and despite Dan's best efforts to shun him and everyone else, wants to be around him all the time. That is, until Phil starts talking about Amanda Jones.

St Anthony's Secondary is a school divided by class. Their town is split down the middle, quite literally, by a railroad that separates the affluent families from the destitute. Dan is on the very outskirts of the poor side. He has one friend, and no desire to make any more, nor to buy into the sickening popularity and wealth contest of his peers. He thought Phil felt the same. And then, out of the blue, Phil develops a worrying obsession with a girl from the other side. She embodies everything Dan hates; he tries to explain this to Phil, to no avail. As his obsession with Amanda grows, as does Dan's loathing for her. Still, it shouldn't bug Dan this much to see his friend pine some braindead bimbo relying on her boyfriend's wallet. So why does it?

The Infinite Possibility of Us (ao3) - Young_Rouge_Rose

Summary: It began as all good stories do, with an inciting incident. Dan’s just so happened to be almost getting hit by a car, watching a man die before his eyes and somehow falling into a web of alternate realities. Just your usual morning inconvenience. He just wanted a coffee, and to make Phil happy. Now all he wants is to get back home, back to his world, his life, his Phil. Little does he know Phil has found himself in a similar predicament, and what is stranger still is that in all other worlds they seem to be together. Maybe this is the universe trying to tell them something.

When We First Met - botanistlester

Summary: Soulmate au where if you draw on yourself, it shows up on your soulmate’s skin.

When You Can’t Sleep at Night - botanistlester

Dan has insomnia and his mum takes him for drives whenever he can’t sleep. One day, she takes him to a cafe where he meets a blue-eyed man with charcoal stains on his arms who gives him a reason to keep coming back.

[johannestevans]

Letters from Ganymede: Tuesday 11th July, 1876

Ganymede Cavendish, a recent graduate from the Royal Academy of Arts, catches the eye of an anonymous benefactor.

Mr Smith will offer Mr Cavendish food and board, all the artistic supplies he might require, and space with which to work: they shall never meet, and Mr Cavendish will never know Mr Smith's true name. The only recompense he desires is that Mr Cavendish create beautiful art, and that he write his sponsor a letter each week, keeping his benefactor apprised of his progress.

Having always been lonely, but now feeling alone, Ganymede begins a slow descent into madness.

An extremely gay reinterpretation of Daddy Long Legs, with heavy inspiration from Dracula and the Picture of Dorian Gray.

Also on Ao3 and Wattpad. 

Dear Mr Smith,

I should like first to offer my apologies for not having written to you sooner, for I know part of the circumstances of our agreement are that I write you each week I avail of your sponsorship, and certainly the week begins anew each Sunday, so I am overdue.

Of course, I must thank you again for your kindness: I am sure I quite embarrassed you with my initial response to your letter, gushing over as I did with praise for your charity and your person, no matter the extenuating terms, but even some weeks later I feel no less overcome by my gratitude, nor indeed my admiration of my benefactor, anonymous as he might be.

I had thought the journey would take but two days, but instead it took four: the first  mischief that became the coach you sent to convey me was a sudden snap of one of the front wheels’ spokes, making the whole of the carriage tilt abruptly to one corner, spooking the horses. This was on a long, empty road some hours north of Birmingham, and once the driver, Mr Thornwell, had calmed the horses from their frenzy, I had to ride on to the nearest inn some forty minutes’ further on, that I might send someone back to assist him.

I confess, Mr Smith, I am extremely uncomfortable on a horse’s back, but Mr Thornwell disliked very strongly the idea that I should remain alone with the coach itself on such an isolated road, and luckily, when I arrived at the inn they had expected us, and readily sent a young man off with another wheel to assist Mr Thornwell forth.

By the time all this business had been completed, of course, five or six hours had passed, and we had lost the warmth of the day and would, in some hours, lose its heat as well: although summer yet gives us some bountiful sun, Mr Thornwell reluctantly advised that we should stay the night in the inn rather than merely lunching there, as had been the original intention, and we took a room together.

He is a very interesting gentleman, Samuel Thornwell – I was so very enthusiastic in rushing about to pack my things into his coach that I kept stumbling on the uneven step outside my previous lodgings, and he insisted – most gallantly – upon assisting me in packing all of it away, and was very quick indeed with a joke. I don’t know that you have ever met him, Mr Smith, for he had informed me his services had been requisitioned by letter alone by a gentleman bearing your name, and that he had no previous knowledge of you, but that payment had been given up-front.

In this case, perhaps I ought describe him to you – Mr Thornwell is a handsome fellow, a little below six feet in height, and although he looks at a glance to be quite the square and serious sort (his beard is certainly quite serious, and kept as keenly in check as I would only imagine the beard of a groundskeeper in command of neat hedges), he smiles very freely, and was quick with all manner of joke and pun as we packed away my things.

On the first night we spent together, I had been quite focused upon some sketches of the cities and towns and landscapes through which we had passed, and sat upon the floor of the inn and worked like a demon with my chalks, focused most fervently upon my work that I should recreate all the sights I had seen before they dripped out of my head like so much overflowing water. Undeterred by the acute concentration with which I devoted myself to my work, Mr Thornwell spoke very freely, with a great manner of charm and gregarious spirit, to our hosts in the inn, and when they went away, he spoke for my benefit, although I said very little in response to many of his anecdotes, and merely laughed and smiled along with them.

Mr Thornwell informed me that he was in possession of a wife and three children, of whom he was very proud indeed, and that in his free time he and his eldest son, Sam, spent a good deal of time focused upon philately, which he informed me is the study – and often, the collection – of postage stamps. It seemed to me at the time to be quite a queer hobby, but Mr Thornwell spoke very well on it, and with a great deal of enthusiasm about the different varieties of postage stamps and their designs, and he said a good deal of the enjoyment in receiving letters themselves was in the postage affixed. Strange indeed, but there is naught that creates such light in the world as another man’s unfamiliar passions.

On the second night, in this inn we had not intended to stay at, I was not quite so plagued by a need to note down every sight I had taken in that day, and once I had penned a few sketches of the fields I had observed on our way, we sat together beside the hearth in the inn.

“I must apologise for my laconism last night,” I said, sipping at my ale and looking at my companion, the handsome planes of his face lit by the glow of light beside us. The only light in the room came from the fire, with the rest of the candles dimmed, and I leaned in toward it, for the night was rather cool. “I have only a little while to really capture the details I want in scenes before they begin to fade from my recollection, and I saw a good deal of beauty in our journey, and wished very much to sketch it down.”

“Oh, I took no offence in it,” he said mildly, with a wave of one hand. “You are of an artistic temperament, I can see, and your art is quite important to you, no doubt.”

“Oh, yes, yes, quite.”

“Is that the reason,” he asked, suddenly curious, “that you are travelling so far north? Heatherton is so small a village it is not even upon maps – when we reach the last inn on our journey, we are to ask directions from our host there, that I might ferry you further on.”

I had not known this, and was quiet for a moment, gazing into the fire. I was quite curious about Heatherton, for in your initial correspondence it was communicated to me as but a modest settlement overlooking a bay, and I was excited indeed to see it, as I am to see any new place of mystery. I am not, Mr Smith, well-travelled – until now, I have never left London.

Misinterpreting my silence, Mr Thornwell said swiftly, “Please, I did not mean to pry into your affairs – merely that this is an errand quite odd, and quite unlike any I have pursued heretofore. I ought have kept my questions to myself.”

“Oh, please, Mr Thornwell, you have caused no offence,” I assured him softly. “John Smith – the gentleman from whom you received the request for your services – is my benefactor. I have just completed a course of schooling in the arts at the Royal Academy, and Mr Smith, having observed the exhibition of my work in the years I have been a student, wrote to me some weeks ago and offered to sponsor me in further artistic pursuit.

“He suggested that I should take my place at his home in Heatherton that I might be free to concentrate upon my work without the distraction of the city’s bustle – and has offered, most graciously, this sponsorship and space to work, although we have never been acquainted before now.”

Mr Thornwell observed me with fascination, his lips pursed loosely together, his brow furrowed very deeply, that several lines appeared in the surface of his forehead. “Indeed?” he asked, leaning toward me. “Is he very rich, this Mr Smith?”

“I suppose,” I said, although the question offset me, for I have long been taught it is impolite to discuss such matters. “Certainly, it strikes me that he is very kind, and evidently, a great supporter of the arts. My tutors informed me that the Academy has received donations previously from Mr Smith, and knew him to be quite devoted to his support of the arts in all their forms.”

“Hm,” Mr Thornwell said. “And he sponsors individual artists, also?”

“If he has done so before, it has not been another member of the Royal Academy,” I said quietly, with a delicate shrug of my shoulders. “But his donations to the institution go back over a decade – I have no doubt in his support.”

“For how long will you stay in Heatherton?”

“Oh, a year, perhaps two. My medium is sculpture, and I work in marble – it is my intention to sculpt a representation of the Titaness Euryphaessa, the wife of Hyperion, with her three children in orbit of her: Helios, Selene, and Eos.”

My companion looked at me somewhat blankly for a moment, and then said, with perhaps manufactured brightness, “You are a Michelangelo, then?”

I flushed with embarrassment, feeling the heat burn in my blushing cheeks, for it was a painfully lofty association – though I know that it is true that many people might not know another sculptor in existence. “Not hardly,” I said hurriedly. “I could never hope to match such skill in any mode of art, but like him, I do sculpt in marble.”

“It must be very expensive, stone like that,” he said, with a low whistle. “He won’t make you quarry it yourself, I hope? I mean not to impugn your strengths, Mr Cavendish, but you hardly seem fit for such work as that.”

I laughed, and shook my head. “I do not believe he plans to put me to such labour as that, Mr Thornwell, no. He shall provide me a workspace and materials, room and board, and a small stipend as recompense for my work, as though he is not already giving me enough.”

“All that,” said Mr Thornwell wonderingly, “for one sculpture? That is all the recompense your Mr Smith demands?”

“Well, I shall produce other works of art, in my placement here,” I said, feeling quite embarrassed for reasons I did not – and still do not know – how to put into words. “I shall paint, I expect, but being a finer sculptor than I am a painter, I shall no doubt create smaller sculptures, too – there are beautiful things to be wrought in clay or wood, as well as marble.” Mr Thornwell did not seem convinced, and thus I added, almost blurted out, “And, of course, Mr Smith asks that I should send him correspondence.”

Mr Thornwell regarded me in bafflement. “Correspondence?” he repeated.

“I am to write to Mr Smith once a week, informing him of my progress, and to tell him of my moods and my experiences in the week having passed. He will never reply to me, he informs me, but it is important to him I should write to him, that he knows I am taking seriously the terms of his sponsorship.”

“Rich and lonely,” said Mr Thornwell – pray, Mr Smith, do forgive him – and I gasped.

“Mr Thornwell,” I chided him. “It is not so uncommon that a young man should send his sponsor reports upon his progress.”

“Perhaps,” said he, “but queer indeed that he should not reply to them. You say you have never met him?”

“Never – and Mr Smith said in his first letter to me that I likely never shall. He is not an artist himself, he said to me: he appreciates artists.”

My hand, at this moment, slipped to my jacket pocket, and lingered over the point where your letter to me was folded therein: I hope it will not embarrass you, Mr Smith, to note that I have read that particular line of your letter to me (Mr Cavendish, I am no artist, nor am I a poet, nor anything else. I have never and will never create anything, except love and enthusiasm for the artist, that heavenly being that serves as our modern Creator.) some thousand times since I first received it.

“You are young,” said Mr Thornwell musingly, “and quite beautiful. Being young you have sufficient energy to take on even the most exhausting projects; being beautiful, you understand beauty, and are thus well-poised to create it.”

I was silent, for this praise embarrassed me, and seeing this, Mr Thornwell took pity on me, and we retired to bed.

The next day, being as the weather was milder, the sun hidden behind thick cloud, he invited me to sit at the front of the cab with him – although I was no longer enclosed by the walls of the coach, sitting very close beside Mr Thornwell, I was able to benefit from his warmth, and our conversation kept me quite occupied as he travelled on.

We came to the inn where he had been advised we should be able to take direction to the village of Heatherton. The previous two inns, the Duck and Feather and the Coach and Horses had been venerable old pubs, very warm within and quite homey: this establishment, the Stone Post, was colder, and our hosts there were not nearly so sociable. I did not hear the name of our hostess, but that she was the sister of our host, but I knew his name to be Jude, and he never gave me his surname.

He and his sister surprised me, when first I saw them, because they almost seemed to be statues brought to life: both Jude and his sister were pale as white marble, with exaggerated emphasis in the shapes of their features. Each had heavily lidded eyes, carefully crafted lips, fine bone structure, and they moved as though some invisible conductor was coaching them through the ballet of their life, silent and effortlessly graceful.

I did not see Jude or his sister smile once: they were each possessed of a silent, frowning stare that made one take pause. Jude is, I would estimate, of the same age as me, somewhere about the region of twenty-five, and his sister somewhat younger, but he did not speak to me as much of a peer.

He scarcely spoke at all.

Leading me up the stair, he brought me to the room I was to take lodging in that night, a very large room that even then seemed quite cold, and I suggested that myself and Mr Thornwell might share a room together rather than being given separate lodgings, for it looked very cold indeed, and Jude gave me such a strange look that I felt very wrong for asking, and then fell silent.

Dinner was a quiet affair, and I tossed and turned the night through in the cold room, but when I went out into the corridor I saw no evidence of Mr Thornwell or our two hosts, and there were no other guests at the Stone Post that I knew of, and I quickly retired back to bed, for the corridor was even cooler than my bedroom. It occurred to me that it was quite strange that the only owners of the establishment should be two people so very young and seemingly so opposed to human contact, and as I turned this thought over in my mind, the most lurid of theatres playing out in my mind, as so often happens – of them perhaps being tragically orphaned, or something similar.

I slept, then.

In the morning, I was very sorry to hear that Mr Thornwell had been taken ill, suddenly caught with a fever, and as Jude’s sister attended him, Jude said to me, with a sort of quiet, grim determination, that he would take the coach forth to Heatherton in his stead.

I objected, of course, for I was worried indeed that my new friend should be so ill, and begged that I should be able to sit with him or even just check in on him, but the Stone Post siblings were vehement I shouldn’t go anywhere near him, lest I suffer the same fever he was afflicted with.

I quite forgot myself, so distracted was I as we came out to the coach, the horses already having been hitched in place, that I nearly climbed up to sit before the cab with Jude – never has a man looked at me so severely, and I felt almost as if Jude had struck me a blow with his eyes alone. They are such a funny colour, Mr Smith, a sort of brown that is so light as to be very near to gold, and they invoked in me a feeling most uncanny.

It was some hours travel to Heatherton in the coach from the Stone Post, as I’m sure you know, and yet despite how keen I was to look out of the window and make a note of the journey, particularly with how overcome with concern I was for Mr Thornwell’s good health, I fell fast asleep. I could not say how it slipped over me, for it caught me by certain surprise, but I suppose that exhaustion does these things to a man, no matter his pressing concerns.

When I woke, bleary eyed and disoriented, still in a somnolent haze, Jude was standing silently at the cab’s open door beside me, staring up at me. My luggage had already been packed away inside.

“You are very kind,” I said as I noted that my travelling chest and boxes of materials had already disappeared from the back of the coach, and Jude followed my gaze, looking, impassively, to the coach’s trunk, where all my things had been neatly tied before we had set out.

“Wasn’t me,” Jude said, and climbed back into the cab, taking up the horse’s reins. Before I could so much as say another word, he was riding off, and I was left in the yard of the house, alone, with my coat very loose about my shoulders and my carrying case held limply in my hand.

Left alone in the front yard of the house in Heatherton, I looked about at the stone walls, the half-open stable empty of horse or goat, the shed piled high with firewood. The house itself surprised me in its size – I confess, Mr Smith, when you had offered me lodgings, I expected somewhere quite modest, perhaps with a wider space to make into my studio, but it seemed to me to be almost like a manor. It was some storeys higher even than some of the buildings I worked in at the Royal Academy, and very wide indeed – the orphanage in which I grew up was quite a small one, and I have never really had cause to visit anyone else’s home.

The door was ajar, a key in the lock, and I took it loosely from its keyhole, stepping into the house proper, and closing the door behind me, putting the key in my pocket.

The lamps within were already lit where needed, although a fair bit of daylight was still coming in through the windows, and waiting for me upon the end table in the hall, where there was a case waiting for some calling cards – and the idea itself quite delighted me, for I have never been called on before – was a note.

Dear Mr Cavendish,

Your luggage has been placed in your bedroom, which is south-facing on the third floor, that you might have a pleasant view of the bay below. Mr Smith has advised us that this would likely be your preference, but that if you desire, you ought select any of the other bedrooms which brings you the most pleasure.

The supplies and equipment you have brought with you have been placed in your studio, which is also on the southside of the building, and can be accessed from the ground or first floor.

Other locations of note ought be the master bath, which is on the third floor, in the room adjoining the master bedroom; the library, which is on the second floor; and the dining room, which is on the ground floor, in the second door ahead of you on your right.

Mr Smith has advised that you are to explore and make use of the house at your leisure, and that while you reside here, you are to consider yourself its master.

Dinner will be served at seven o’clock this evening in the dining room; you might take what you please from the kitchen and its pantry that adjoins it.

Welcome to Mnemosyne’s Rest.

There was no signature upon the note, though I presume it was from the house’s staff – which, again, surprised me, for I had no idea I would have staff attending to me, and I confess, the idea made me quite giddy and uncertain. Perhaps you will think me very foolish, Mr Smith, but I have really only ever read about households with servants in novels, or heard about them in conversation, and it never really occurred to me that I should ever avail of such services.

When my father died, I was left a small apartment in London, which I inherited upon reaching my age of majority, and I have lived there alone throughout my education at the Royal Academy. In the orphanage, all we boys slept in one room together, ordinarily between ten and twelve of us, and I confess, it was a great relief when I became a man and was able to live alone, without so many breathing mouths creating such a racket all around me, and yet—

Perhaps you will think this very strange indeed, Mr Smith, I do not know, but I have always found the idea of living with servants, when one is a fellow without family or attachment, to be one as comforting as it is mysterious – surely, it would be a balm to any lonely man, to know that there are others living in the house in which he rests?

Perhaps I am a fool, I do not know. No one has ever told me so – but then, perhaps I am so foolish everyone I have ever met has thought it quite obvious, and not thought it worth saying.

I hope I do not bore you.

I know in your letter you requested that I should treat these letters as a diary to you, or perhaps as a confessional, and pour fourth my soul, but I have never kept a diary before, and I am not a Catholic, and to be very honest indeed with you, Mr Smith, I do not know that I am in possession of a soul at all. They seem to be allocated to the most interesting of people, and I am no such thing.

Once more, I must thank you for your kindness – I was a man quite uncertain of my bearings, when my graduation from the academy loomed, uncertain as to where next I should go, and you have given me not only your sponsorship or your kindness, but a sense of purpose I might not have gotten, otherwise.

And— Pray, Mr Smith, do forgive me if I overstep my bounds, or if I speak too freely, or if every letter I pen to you is quite a lot of nonsense. I have never written to anybody before, and but for schooling exercises as a youth, the practice is one quite foreign to me. Perhaps I thought thank you for this addition to my experience of the world, as well?

I have not yet conducted my exploration of Mnemosyne’s Rest – oh, what a name, Mr Smith, I wonder if it was you that named it? – for as soon as I came into my bedroom, the south-facing one – and you were correct in your estimations, Mr Smith, the wide windows create such a beautiful view of the bay below, with its grey-and-white cut waters, and its view of the cliffs, and its picturesque, dark-sanded beaches, and I should never want any bedroom other than this one – I sat down at my desk to pen this missive to you, that you should not think I was ignoring my obligations to you.

Thank you.

Once this letter is finished, and I have let the ink to dry, I shall send it off to you post-haste – and perhaps this evening, I shall pen another letter to the Stone Post, asking for news of Mr Thornwell’s condition… Ah. But that is a thought for later.

Yours with gratitude overflowing,

Ganymede Cavendish

Thank you so much for reading!

If you enjoyed this, please consider leaving me a tip or subscribing to my Patreon. You can also buy my books on Smashwords. 

[forkanna]

[AO3] [WATTPAD]

NOTICE: Characters/settings ©2008 Atlus. Story © me. All rights reserved. M for later risque situations and coarse dialogue. Cover art by takethesnowtrain.

WARNING: Rise's views and Ai's views on the LGBT community, and especially those of other characters in this work of fiction, do not always line up with those of the author. Please do your own research! The more you understand, the better our world will be.

CHAPTER WARNING: Bulimia.

NOTE: Happy New Year! Welcome to my particularly long and exhaustive crackship tome that literally no one asked for! What else is new, right? The first scene of this chapter is almost entirely copy-pasted from my other P4 fanfiction, "We'll Face Ourselves", though I tried to spruce it up and shift perspective so it doesn't feel like quite so much rehash. I thought it served as a nice lead-in to this story, with some added focus on the new ship. The second half of this chapter and the rest of the fic is all-new, don't worry. The "Golden" is more a reference to it being additional "dlc" for my other fic, not to me specifically focusing on Marie or any such content exclusive to P4G. Apologies if this dashes anyone's expectations but I hope you enjoy the fic regardless!

As for anyone wishing for that fic to debut... you know the one... well, all things in time. Soon, I promise. In the meantime, check me out at jxsleator dot carrd dot co !

Jessex

                                                  PROLOGUE

Once upon a time, in the quaint town of Inaba… a minstrel girl and a stubborn princess fought over a handsome prince. Very briefly.

"Can't you give me a little kiss goodbye?" the minstrel pulled back to look up into the boy's stoic face, her large doe eyes shining with tears — on purpose. She was a top notch minstrel, after all. "Something to keep me from… from dying from missing you?"

"Oh please," the quiet innkeeper muttered under her breath with a begrudging smile.

However, the prince obliged the minstrel girl with a kindly kiss upon the forehead. She was in awe of his tenderness. Right up until…

"Excuse me? What do you think you're doing, you bitch?!"

The others pulled back to see royalty approaching, hands on her hips. A truly glamorous princess indeed, even though her regal vestments weren't nearly as radiant as they had been in days past. The ever-present lacy pink turtleneck lived underneath a cardigan today rather than her school uniform.

"What is who doing?" the pouting siren protested, clinging a little tighter to her prince's arm.

"You! Little trollop!" The flawless beauty stomped over to the two of them, honey-brown waves bouncing as she got right up in the singer's face. "Take your greedy little paws off my boyfriend!"

The idol stamped her foot and snapped, "HEY! I don't see your name on him anywhere!"

The prince gulped and began to back away. "Uh…"

"Really?" the princess scoffed. "What makes you think you have any claim to him, slut puppy? He went to the festival with me — and spent Christmas Eve with me, too! And for your goddamn information, we got pretty close!"

Though the siren was comely, and manipulative toward many of the young suitors in the land, it was in playful jest; she did consider them friends but couldn't seem to suppress her womanly wiles, so she flirted for sport. Alas, the princess wounded her deeply with such words; her lip wobbled at the princess's declarations, even though that may have been for show.

"Senpai, say that's not true! How could you, when I… I let you… you know!"

"Hey, it doesn't count when I'm just sitting there and you plop your butt down on my hand," the prince said reasonably. "And Ai-chan, we hugged a little; please don't tease her by making it sound like more."

The prince's pair of suitresses were chagrined. The princess seemed a little more genuinely hurt than her rival for his attentions but neither were particularly happy with being called out.

"Whew," the flop-haired jester exhaled, wiping his brow. "Don't know how you get away with it, juggling two chicks like that."

"That's not…" The prince sighed, shaking his head as he facepalmed. "Maybe I'm glad to be leaving."

But in truth, he was not. Nor was anyone else present. As they alternately squabbled and lamented the prince's parting, other classmates and citizens of Inaba began to approach to wish him bon voyage. He really had left an impression in the short year he had lived there. When the train whistle signalled that it was about to pull away, the bickering came to an end so they could truly see their friend off. A lot of tearful hugs and well wishes were offered before the prince was inside, looking out the window at them as it pulled away from the station. They ran after him all the way to the end of the platform until they ran out of space, then stood waving after him until the train was completely out of sight.

And thus the prince's tale gave way to another. One about a minstrel who had lost her way and found it again, and a princess who had not always known she was a princess at all.

                                                         -------------------------------

                                                                CHAPTER ONE

"I just… he really left," Rise Kujikawa finally sobbed now that the click-clack sounds of the train had faded into the distance.

"Geez, turn it off already," Yosuke Hanamura sighed as he clasped his hands behind his neck, pressing his floppy hair hard against his neck. They turned away to start toward home or wherever the night might take them. "You don't have to keep up the act when he's not even here."

"Act?!" She shoved him from behind, and he stumbled a couple of steps as his arms windmilled out to the sides, attempting to regain his balance. "Not cool, Hanamura! I am grieving the death of my relationship!"

"What relationship?" Kanji Tatsumi grunted.

"Boys, you could be a little more sensitive," Yukiko Amagi told them in an even, reasonable tone. She was dabbing at her eyes like everyone else, and leaning a little more heavily than usual on her best friend, Chie Satonaka, but she seemed to be maintaining her composure better than Rise could manage. "We're all going to miss him so much."

"I'm just trying to get Rise to wake up," Yosuke persisted anyway. "She's delusional. We all know Nakamura was trying to scam on that chick at the hospital."

"What?"

"You know. The nurse. Though I think she moved away…"

Kanji cleared his throat. "Actually, I… thought that woman with the kid was his squeeze. Y'know, the one that came up to him a minute ago?"

Chie squeaked, "He was doing what with who?! That's… why? Why chase a married woman?!"

"Oh, I thought it was one of you girls."

The group of them turned to blink at the girl from the drama club. "Who are you again?" Yosuke asked — very rudely, even though they were all thinking it.

"Yumi Ozawa," she said softly with a slight bow. "He gave me a great deal of help when I was dealing with my own family problems, you know. And… well, I revealed I had feelings for him, and he shut me down. Just said he wanted to remain friends, and it's hard to argue with that, isn't it?"

While Chie and Yukiko were chattering to her about that, the boys suffering through a "girly" conversation they had no interest in, the slightly jealous Rise found herself momentarily distracted. Everyone kept moving along as she slowly came to a halt, turned her white sandals off to the side, and approached someone who looked like she could use her company. Even if she wasn't absolutely sure of that.

"You okay over here?"

"Oh… no, no, I'm fine. Mind your own goddamn business."

"Wooooow. I guess that's what I get for caring, huh?"

"Wait," Ebihara suddenly blurted, standing up from the bus stop bench and taking a couple of steps toward her. "All right, I may have been unnecessarily rude. I just have no idea why you would want to talk to me when I was your rival for Narukami's affections."

"Because you looked kind of pathetic over here, all by yourself."

"I did not! I'm not 'pathetic', I'm legitimately upset that my boyfriend left!"

"He wasn't your…" But at least she managed to cut herself off with a roll of her eyes, swallowing down the jab and instead moving to hold onto Ebihara's shoulder. Tears were already rolling down the teen queen's cheeks, and her voice was tight and strangled, as if she were fighting back tears — clearly a losing battle. "He could never stay here. We all kind of knew that, and just talked ourselves out of believing it. I'm so mad! But… I have to get over it."

Clearly shocked by her more reasonable response, the prissy girl took a moment longer to respond herself. By the time she did, she was looking down toward their shoes. "Completely ridiculous. Right? I should have known better, I… ugh, I'm so pissed at myself."

"Right?!" Rise still wanted to slap her for trying to steal the boy of her dreams, but it really felt irrelevant now. So instead she tried for her most convincing smile — which, considering her previous vocation, was extremely convincing — and said, "Hey, um, why don't you try getting to know us a little better? Might as well, since you'll have more time on your hands now."

"Sounds stupid." The words came out so fraught with emotion that they were nearly unintelligible, but Rise still understood. "But I have nothing better to do, so lead on."

However, the closer they drew to the remaining group of students, the more anxious the prima donna became. Rise didn't know why exactly — and she couldn't know until Ai cleared her throat to get their attention. She could tell Naoto had been deep in discussion with Yukiko and Chie, though not what about.

"Yes?" Yukiko prompted her in mild surprise.

"I… thought I should say… I am sorry." She swallowed hard, brows furrowed. The expression still made her look angry and snobby, despite her tone of voice being gentle now; she just had resting bitch face. "Probably too late. But I was really going through some things when I sidelined you two in Aiya, and being rude is second nature to me. Can't be the most stunning girl in school without it going to your head, can you?"

"You say that like I would ever know," Chie snorted.

"Right. And… normally I would be agreeing with you and belittling you, Bowl Cu- I mean, Satonaka. I have a lot of practice." Grimacing, she growled, "Got so used to being queen bitch that it's hard to just be nice."

After a brief silence, so awkward that it felt as if any sound would have been preferable, Yukiko laid a hand on Ai's arm, gentle and reassuring. "Please, Ai-san. We all have darkness inside of us; nobody is a perfect person. So I think it's very admirable you're seeing your flaws and that you're trying to improve. I am the same, and so are my friends."

"Oh yeah?" The girl let out a wet-sounding laugh; indeed, tears were budding at the corners of her eyes. "How the hell aren't you perfect, Miss Goody Two-Shoes? I mean… I've always been so jealous of how the boys talk about you. No 'buts'."

"No butts?!" Chie burst out. "What do you mean? She's got a GREAT butt!"

Ai chuckled a little more heartily at that. Naoto was the only one who tapped her chin while noticing Yukiko's slight blush from the compliment; the others weren't paying it any attention. "No, no, not her ass. Which — fine, sure, it's fantastic. I mean like, they describe both of us as really beautiful, or hot or whatever. Same words for both of us. But with me, it always had a 'but she's such a bitch', 'but she's stuck up', 'but she's psycho' attached. Yukiko… a couple of guys said you were snooty if you turned them down for a date, but the rest of them saw through that. You're a good woman and I'm just a good-looking woman. I did so much work to be beautiful so boys would like me, but I'm just… ugly on the inside."

Though clearly, Yukiko was about to speak up, Chie beat her to the punch. "So that's it, huh? You're pathetic."

"Excuse me?"

"C'mon, Ebihara. You're made of tougher stuff than that. Where's that girl who slammed her leg up on the table in Aiya and demanded we appreciate it?"

Though the teen queen had been firing up, being reminded of that moment in the diner made her squirm and fold her arms tightly over her chest. "That was stupid. Do you wanna know why I did that?" When Yukiko nodded, she pushed ahead, "Thing is, I was a... when I was little, I was nowhere near the adorable Ai you see before you now. Fat and hideous, got told I had pig hooves. So like, I'm sure it sounds really stupid to you guys, but having dainty little feet now is super amazing to me still."

"You were fat?!" Chie demanded, looking her up and down afresh. "No way! I call bullshit!"

"Yep, a total blimp. And I got hella teased because I didn't match up with their…" What a pregnant pause. "W-whatever. Yu already knows all this stuff, but pretty much I decided to reinvent myself when I found out we were moving to Inaba. Obviously it went to my head, but… at least I'm better now. Getting better all the time."

The rest of the Investigation Team was speechless. Rise, for her part, couldn't believe the superficial teen queen actually had some substance under that lip gloss. Certainly hadn't seemed that way when Ai basically bit her head off just for being at the shopping center with Narukami. Maybe he was the one responsible. After all, the stoic boy had touched all their lives, brought about an awakening of sorts to their inner beauty that they likely would never have found within themselves without him shedding that light. It just seemed to be one of his latent talents. Unsurprising that he had done the same for the entitled fashionista.

"There seems to be only one solution for this predicament," Naoto was stating firmly with a small nod, finger tapping her chin. "We must return to Aiya to remember our departed friend, and strengthen our bonds with each other."

"Oooh, a party!" Rise piped up with an excited little bounce, despite the light drizzle that was beginning to fall. "Yes please!"

"I guess that's a plan," Chie agreed as Rise, Kanji and Yosuke joined them. "What do you guys think? We catching the portal to the meat dimension?"

Grimacing, Yosuke demanded, "Do you have to call it that every time, Satonaka?! Geesh! Sounds super nasty."

"Bet you can't even handle it."

"Wha- OH YEAH?! BRING IT ON!"

                                                               ~ o ~

"PHWOOOO! I can't even look at it anymore!"

The ragtag group of assorted teenagers, who would seemingly have nothing in common from an outsider's perspective, were all sitting back and holding their stomachs by now. It was almost painful how much meat was straining to escape the linings of their stomachs. Actually, it was painful for some of them.

"Yyyyeah," Rise groaned in agreement with Yukiko's statement, arms like wet noodles at her sides. "My… I'm pregnant… food baby…"

"Even I'm feeling it a little," Chie was chuckling as Rise staggered to her feet. "And normally I can demolish one of these no sweat!"

"Must be… getting old," Yosuke said as their voices began to fade into the background. She could hear Satonaka clapping back at him, but once the bathroom door shut she could no longer identify words, just noise.

In fact… there was a new noise filling the ladies' restroom. Not a pleasant one. Brow furrowing as her lip curled in disgust, she glanced at the bottoms of the stalls and saw a pair of designer shoes with their soles facing up.

"Is… are you okay… in there?"

"HRRK!" What a weird noise — but not nearly as weird as the sound of pronounced retching that followed. God, how disgusting! Maybe she should just backpedal out of the bathroom… but before she could act, there was some spitting, a clearing of the throat, and a strained tone calling out, "Mind your own business! Do you have to be so fucking nosey?!"

Oh no. "Wait — Ebihara?"

"Yes! And this isn't something I want anybody to…" Another gagging noise. "Ugh… you probably have an Aqua Balance on you, don't you, Risette?"

Her eye twitched. "Just because I did the commercials doesn't mean I have a bag full of them on me at all times, you know!" But she still hated to hear a girl in need, so she forced herself to continue, "Need me to hold your hair back?"

"No, I… I got it. Practice."

"Practice? Just how often do you toss your cookies?!"

Dead. Silence. When it had gone on for a few seconds too long to be normal, Rise began to sense she had broached a topic that Ebihara did not want broached. Her brow creased harder, and eventually she said in a meek voice, "I'll… go get you some water."

"Thanks."

She was so preoccupied as she hit the bar to get some ice water for the prissy girl that she didn't even comprehend the words of her friends calling out to her — though she couldn't even see Chie and Yukiko at the table anymore. The rest were probably asking her what she was doing. And what was she doing? Why was she helping this complete bitch who would never do the same thing for her? There was no doubt in her mind that Ebihara would have completely ignored her if she found her voiding her stomach in a public restroom. Might even have laughed at her. But she still remembered how distraught she looked when they said goodbye to their mutual love interest.

Maybe hanging out with the Investigation Team had revived the conscience of a jaded teen idol who had taken a brief hiatus from the spotlight. No, it definitely had done that; what was in question was whether or not the same could be said of Ebihara's willingness to open up to her peers.

"Okay, here," she sighed as she opened the door — and almost ran straight into the girl's face. "WHOA!"

"Shit!" Ai yelped as she took a step back, then patted down her chest. "You made my soul leave my body — what the hell are you doing?!"

"Bringing you water! Do you need to add a little ginkgo to your diet, Obaachan?! It's been like one minute since I told you!"

"Fuck your water! I'm gone, I don't need this!" And she actually tried to push past her.

"Wha- hey! No, you don't just get to run off like this!"

"Don't you tell me what I can and can't do, you cow! Now get your goddamn cankles and your crow's feet out of my fucking way!"

Holy shit. That was a lot of random venom. Rise knew already that she didn't have either of those things, but she still felt the sting regardless.

"I… was trying to help you, but fine. Go away." And she stepped to the side with a flip of one of her mauve-tinted pigtails. "Don't let the door hit you on the way out, brat."

What a mistake it had been to be nice to Ebihara. They were too much alike. Sure, Rise knew how to be polite, and was always warm and affectionate with her friends, but they both had the Bitch Gene and it ran strong through their veins. Ebi just led with that instead of saving it for people who deserved it.

She wasn't sure how long she had been standing there, looking stubbornly into the corner, before she felt the glass of water being taken from her fingers. She started to grab after it — instinct telling her she had dropped it and needed to catch it — until she saw Ai swishing it around in her mouth, then turning to spit into the sink.

"Oh," she breathed.

"What?" Ai grunted before she tipped the glass up again and started gulping it down. The lacy choker above her turtleneck bobbed with every swallow.

"Nothing, I just thought- I mean, did you leave and come back?"

Breathing a loud sigh as she set the glass down, she turned to glare at Rise. "Nosey. You ask too many questions all the time."

"I do not! They're really normal questions; you're just a bitch."

Her eyebrows furrowed, and her jaw tightened. Rise was absolutely positive she was about to give her a tongue lashing. But then she just snorted and shook her head, looking away.

"Wow. I don't know what I expected from Risette, but it wasn't you."

"I know," she began, making this up as she went along. "You either thought I would be completely spoiled and stuck up like you, or I would be such a goody-goody that I never had anything mean to say about anyone. Those are the two flavours of idols, right?"

Ebi smirked and pressed an open palm to the center of her chest. "I spoil myself. And I told you what I went through as a child; don't I deserve it? Isn't this my time to shine?"

"Not if it means you piss off everyone around you while shining. That's just selfish, you know. Don't you care about anyone but yourself?"

"No. Why should I? They don't care about me." Her haughty tone turned bitter. "Nobody in Inaba. Not anymore."

Most of her ire fading, she said, "You gotta put yourself out there. This whole time we've been at Aiya, you barely said a word. I actually forgot you were here until I heard you puking your guts out."

"See my point? The boys who idolize me are the only ones that remember I exist. And even them… I know they don't care about me as a person. They just keep hoping a strong breeze will show them a little flash of my panties."

"No, that's not right. I'm trying to tell you that it's your fault."

"Excuse me?"

"How are we supposed to get to know you if you just hang in the background and never say anything? That doesn't-"

"Look, I don't need to take this," Ebi sighed with a roll of her hazel eyes. "At this point, I just want to go home and be alone. Is that allowed? Or are you going to block the door again?"

Rise's lips thinned in frustration. It wasn't worth it. She didn't want to keep banging her head against this brick wall anymore. So she didn't even say a word; just turned her back on Ebi before she said something particularly nasty.

"Thanks for the water," the other girl offered shortly as she strode out through the door. And that really was it.

"At least she thanked me," she muttered to herself as she finally took her place in one of the stalls to do her business. But in the back of her mind, she couldn't help but replay those conversations over and over in her head.

Because none of that blustering truly hid the fact that Ai Ebihara was in pain. And if nobody did anything about it, Rise was almost dead certain she was heading for disaster.

-------------------------------

                                                 To Be Continued…

[sammiexwtf]

DIO Sounds About Right

Hi please enjoy my shitty JJBA fic (You can find it on AO3 and Wattpad with the same name) NSFW

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Giorno I am so sorry that you haven’t been on good terms with your father practically since your birth, but I am NOT failing this project just because you want to avoid him,” You huffed. The blonde man on your phone screen shot you an annoyed look, which most likely mirrored the one on your own face.

“I don’t know why you’re so damn adamant on staying at my house to finish this project Y/N. I’ve already stayed over at your place countless of times and as a plus you’re closer to the library, we could just walk over when we need to,” Giorno let out a deep sigh as he leaned against his bed frame. “You know how I get when he’s around and since his business trip was cancelled he’ll be here for the whole weekend.”

“Look Gio, I know you try and avoid him as much as possible and I’m not clueless about your feelings towards him,” you mumbled with a small frown. “It’s just that my roommate is planning on using the apartment for one of her ridiculous parties and we’re not going to have any peace for our work if you come over here. Besides, even if your dad is going to be home all weekend you always tell me he locks himself in his study, so it’s not like we’re going to be graced with his presence anyways.”

“Still it’s just the simple thought of being under the same roof as him that’s bothering me. Plus, I don’t think you’ve even met my dad, so you wouldn’t really understand why I’m so against it.”

“You make it sound like he’s some sort of monster, maybe we should start calling him Count Dracula or something.” Your friend snorted at your stupid joke, trying to hide his smile by turning his face away from the screen.”Either way you won’t be completely alone with him if I’m there, and I know you wouldn’t be able to put up with a bunch of drunk college girls trying to get you into their panties.” At your last remark the blonde made a look of disgust and knew that you basically won the argument. If there was one thing that bothered Giorno the most, it was those self proclaimed ‘fans’ of his that were scattered throughout the university that you both attended, your roommate being one of them. Trying to avoid their affections while they were drunk would cause him even more displeasure than usual.

“Fine then. I’ll text you the address.” You couldn’t hide your excitement as you jumped out of bed to start packing your bag. This would be the first time going over to Giorno’s house since you’ve met him, and you weren’t going to waste any time if he decided to change his mind last minute.

“Alright I’ll see you soon then. Bye Giogio!”

“I told you not to call me that!” You playfully stuck your tongue out at the blonde before ending the FaceTime call to finish packing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You couldn’t help but stare wide-eyed at the enormous house before you, flicking your head back and forth between the address Giorno had sent to you and the one plated in gold above the large double set doors. You even asked the boy more than once if he sent you the wrong address by mistake, earning you a barrage of middle finger emojis and obscenities at having to repeat himself over and over. Gingerly you lifted your hand to the doorbell and rang it, hearing the chime as clear as day echo inside. Your eyes shifted above the doorbell and noticed a plaque with the name ‘Brando’ etched across it. The sound of one of the doors opening gained your attention once more as a gorgeous young woman stepped out from them. She was wearing what looked to be a tight fitting maid’s uniform, with long brown hair swept to the side and cascading down one of her shoulders.

“Welcome to the Brando residence,” She said with a polite smile. “How can I help you Miss?”

‘Brando residence?” You thought to yourself. ‘I thought Giorno’s last name was Giovanna?’

“Uh hi...I’m looking for Giorno? I’m not sure if I’m at the right address.” The young woman perked up at Giorno’s name and stepped aside, holding the door open with a warm smile.

“You must be Y/N! Please come inside, Mr.Giovanna is indeed expecting you tonight!” At the confirmation you let out a breath of relief before stepping through the threshold, only to stop at the sight of the marble staircase before you. The house was far from being considered a mansion, but nonetheless did it look like something straight off of one of those celebrity reality shows. You jumped at the sound of the large door closing behind you, forgetting momentarily about the girl as she quickly made her way towards you. “Just give me one moment to go get Mr.Giovanna for you, he was insistent about showing you the house on his own.” All you could do was nod your head as words seem to fail as she hastily made her way up the stairs. You didn’t have time to look around though as Giorno came around from the top of the stairs and smiled down at you.

“This would be the part where I’d say welcome to my humble abode, but there is absolutely nothing humble about this monstrosity, my father made sure of that,” He sneered. He motioned with his hand for you to come up and you quickly began to ascend the stairs. Once you were at the top it didn’t seem as scary as before, but the rest of the home was just as beautiful. You honestly weren’t paying attention to where you were going, you were trying to take in everything at once from the amazing artwork that lined the walls, to ornate furniture, and even taking a moment to look at how pristine the hardwood floors were that you could practically see your face through it. Ok, maybe they weren’t that clean but still.

Before you knew it, you were in Gio’s bedroom as he made his way to his bed and opened his laptop. His bedroom was a simple creme color, a coffee brown bookcase filled with novels and trophies was lined next to a window that reached from the floor to the ceiling. Directly across from his bed was a flatscreen T.V sitting on top of a matching brown dresser. His walls were covered in paintings that looked as if they belonged in an art museum and a map of the world hung above his headboard. You stared down at his bed then, afraid to sit down as you didn’t want to wrinkle the deep purple duvet atop it. It took Gio a moment to realize that you were still standing by the doorway, his eyes following yours as they danced across his room as well before stopping right back at you.

“What?”

“Why am I just finding out now, after 2 years of friendship might I add, that you’re fucking loaded? I mean I knew you came from a family with SOME money but holy shit dude!” You stared into his green eyes, looking for an answer. Only to be met with a smile.

“Well technically I’m not rich. My father is. Hence there was nothing to find out.” You gave the blonde a dirty look, earning a chuckle from him before deciding that the bed was no longer intimidating and sat down on it.

“You know what I meant. I know you said your dad had a busy job, but what does he do to be able to own a house like this? Is he part of the mafia?” This time your question earned you a hearty laugh from your friend and you felt your ears get hot, not liking to be laughed at when you were being serious. You threw your duffle bag at Giorno, only for him to catch it with ease before placing it next to him on the bed. “I’m not trying to be funny Gio! Answer me!”

“First and foremost, you should know the mafia is MY forte, and I probably would respect the man if he actually was a member. It would make getting in a bit more easier.” You snorted at his answer. If you had a dollar for every time the boy mentioned dropping out of school to join the mafia you’d probably be as rich as his father by now. “However, every now and then he gets one as a client, if they’re willing to pay good that is. He’s a lawyer.” You looked around once more and out the open door as the maid walked by carrying a basket full of laundry. If this is what a lawyer could afford, maybe you were studying the wrong major.

“I have one more question.” Gio simply nodded his head for you to continue as he began typing on his laptop, pulling up the notes for the project you were assigned. “Why did that maid say this was the Brando residence? There was a plaque outside too with that name. I thought your last name was Giovanna?”

“It is Giovanna,” he answered without looking up from the computer screen. “That was my mother’s maiden name. My father’s last name is Brando. They were never married.” His curt reply told you that there was definitely more behind the story, but you decided not to press the issue for now and kept any more questions to yourself.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Roughly three or four hours had passed since you and Giorno had begun working on your project, satisfied with the work so far you both decided to take a break. The due date wasn’t until a week from now, but this project was for your marine biology class and the professor was known for being a hardass when it came to grading so the sooner you could work on it, the more time you could use to perfect it before it reached him. You tossed your pen onto the bed, cracking your fingers and stretching your arms. Giorno had brought out his espresso machine an hour into the session and was now brewing himself another cup. You honestly never heard of anyone who kept a spare coffee machine in their bedroom, but Giorno mentioned that while he lived in Italy, it apparently was a normal thing. You called bullshit but decided not to break your head over it anymore.

“You sure you don’t want another cup of coffee Y/N?” You covered your mouth to stifle a yawn, wagging your finger at him.

“No thank you, if I drink too much caffeine I won’t be able to sleep tonight. Besides,” You added while hopping off of his bed. “Another cup of anything and I think my bladder will explode. Where’s the closest bathroom in this maze?”

“Down the hallway on the other end of the staircase, turn right.”

“Grazie!” He simply shot you a thumbs up as you made your way out with his, albeit vague, directions. Soon you went down the hallway and passed the stairs. “Alright he said turn right and we should be in business…” As soon as you turned the corner you stopped to see three doors, one on the right side closest to you and two on the left. All three were closed and Giorno hadn’t mentioned there’d be more than one door. “Well...only one way to find out.” Without another thought you naturally went to the single door on the right and opened it without hesitation. Not the brightest idea.

You halted in place, mouth going dry. The door you opened led not to the bathroom but to an older looking study. The three walls in front of you were lined ceiling to floor with bookcases, a small globe in the corner. In the center of it was a large mahogany desk, covered in scattered papers. What made you really stop however was the tall and muscular blond man casually leaning against the desk...with the maid on her knees facing him. The moment you had opened the door he had slowly looked up from the woman to you, not even startled by your intrusion. At first the only sounds you could hear was your own rapid heartbeat echoing in your ears, but now you were focusing on the sounds coming from the maid and noticing how her head was bobbing. A blush began to creep up your neck to your face as it looked like he made no intentions of stopping her either.

“Is there something I can help you with? I’m a bit busy if you couldn’t tell.” His deep voice had wrapped around your mind, slowly dragging you out of your thoughts. It sounded so calm, despite the current situation. You had to basically tear your eyes from the scene in front of you, your face burning more.

“I-I’m so sorry! I was just looking for-” You began to stutter, but he raised a hand stop you mid sentence.

“It’s the door across.” You quickly bowed and practically slammed the door shut, missing the sinful look on the man's face as he watched your retreating form.

You bolted into the room across, thankful this time for it actually being the bathroom as you locked the door letting out a shaky breath. You had no doubt in your mind that you had just met Giorno’s father, and unceremoniously at that.

“What a great first impression,” You thought aloud. You made your way to the sink to run some cool water on your face in hopes of getting your flustered look back to normal. After you were done and completed your original business you just stood at the closed door, you were a bit nervous to step foot outside the bathroom if god forbid HE was to come out at the same time. Unfortunately, god decided to dislike you at this moment as you heard a small knock on the restroom door. “Just a second,” You shakily called out. Deeply hoping it was Giorno wondering what was taking you so long. When you finally had the gall to open the door you were instead met with the sight of the young maid, her hair this time was a bit disheveled and a small pink tint was hinting at her cheeks.

“Hello again Ms. Y/N,” She squeaked out. This time she would not meet your eyes, looking towards the ground instead. “Mr. Brando would like for you to join him in his study for a moment. I will be taking my leave for the evening, please enjoy the rest of your stay.” She bowed and sped away and out of sight, not giving you a chance to apologize about walking in on them. You swept your eyes over the closed door to the study across from you, feeling a cold sweat begin to form on your brow. You inhaled deeply before settling your nerves and walking over. This time you knocked on the door and waited for an answer.

“Come in.” With another deep breath you slowly edged the door open, once again being welcomed by the dimly lit study. This time the man, whom you now knew was in fact Giorno’s father, sat behind his desk patiently, fingertips pressed together right above his wide chest. “I’m glad you learned how to knock this time,” He teased with a grin.

“Trust and believe I learned my lesson, again I want to properly apologize about intruding on...something so private.” You could hear your voice falter under his intense gaze, and he let out a deep chuckle. The sound was so alluring, and you felt your throat beginning to dry.

“That’s quite alright. I wanted us to start over on that first impression. Given the maid explained to me you’re a friend of my son, I didn’t think it appropriate for your first meeting of me to be in the middle of having my cock sucked,” He stated as if he were just talking about a small inconvenience. Your eyes widened at his crudeness and you couldn’t help but blush and look away, positive that you were as red as a cherry now.

“Well then...I appreciate the second chance then Mr. Brando.”

“Dio.”

“I beg your pardon?” You turned your face back to him, now he had his arms resting beside him on the chair. There was an almost playful look in his eyes.

“You can call me Dio. Mr. Brando is far too old for my taste.”

‘Of course his name would be something like Dio...how well it suits him too,’ You thought to yourself.

“Alright then...Dio. I’m Y/N, it’s a pleasure to meet you.” You bowed to formally greet the man, and when you looked back up he was beckoning you with his finger to come forward. You thought about just staying put but in the end began walking towards him. As you got closer, you were able to notice his features more clearly. His vibrant blond hair sat at neck length, small fringes of bangs reaching right about his thick brows. His eyes almost looked cat like, predatory even yet strikingly alluring. You assumed they were a light brown color but with the dim lighting they almost looked red, adding a supernatural aura to him. He was gorgeous, and now you knew where Giorno got his looks from. Once you reached the edge of his desk, he held out his hand for you, almost as if he were asking for a handshake. You reached out your own to reach his, taking notice at how incredibly large his hand was to yours. However he gently wrapped his fingers around your hand and leaned over, placing a warm kiss on your knuckles. The small action immediately sent a wave of heat through your entire body. He looked up at you through hooded eyes, not moving your hand away from his face. Your blush had never left, and the heat began to grow unbearable as you watched his eyes slowly sweep down your face, stopping for a moment at your lips before coming back up to lock once more with your own.

“The pleasure is mine, Ms. Y/N.” His voice dropped to a seductive whisper, the breath from his words ghosting over your knuckles and sending a shiver down your spine. Slowly he slipped his hand from yours, lingering on your fingertips for the briefest of moments before resting it on his thigh. You followed his movements with your eyes, noticing how thick and muscular his thighs were, straining against the fabric of his beige dress pants. Your eyes crept up, landing on the small amount of skin peeking out from his shirt he hadn’t bothered to tuck back in. The white button down seemed to be a second skin, as it clung to every contour and muscle on his body, the first two buttons undone to give you a glimpse of just what lies underneath. Finally, your journey stopped on his lips; deliciously pouty and upturned into one of the most devilish smirks you’d ever seen. “See something you like?” You dragged your eyes up completely to meet his, only to be greeted with an intense gaze that burned through your entire body. He had watched you ogle him shamelessly like a horny school girl, and couldn’t look more proud about it. At that moment the door to the study swung open, snapping you out of your trance.

“I was worried you got lost, looks more like you got trapped.” Giorno’s familiar voice was laced with venom, his face contorted to one of disgust. He stayed at the entrance of the study, holding the door open to allow the light from the hallway to seep through. He was focused solely on Dio, who sat relaxed in his chair unbothered by the angry blonde boy.

“Oh, what a pleasant surprise my son.” He emphasized the last two words, earning an eye twitch from the younger. “ I was just introducing myself to your exquisite friend here. I’m quite hurt that you hadn’t introduced me to her sooner.” Giorno simply scoffed at his father’s words.

“Well now that you’ve met, I’d like to have her returned to me now. We have a project to finish.” Giorno then turned his eyes to you, his gaze softening immensely. “Come on Y/N, I ordered us some takeout and it should be here soon so we can get back to work.”

“O-oh. Uh thanks Gio,” You mumbled. Your mind was still in a bit of a haze, but you were beginning to get your bearings. You turned to look at Dio and bowed once more. “It was nice meeting you Mr...I mean Dio. Please have a great rest of your evening.” With that you turned and began high tailing towards the door. Giorno moved back into the hallway as you approached, but before you could close the door that seductive voice reached out to you once more.

“Y/N,” he purred out. Slowly you turned towards him, hand still in the door knob. “If you need anything at all tonight, please do not hesitate to come look for me. You are our guest here and it would be my...” his tongue darted out to wet his bottom lip, “greatest pleasure to assist you.” You couldn’t help but swallow at the second meaning behind his words. Afraid to hear your own voice you simply nodded your head before softly closing the door behind you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Giorno had interrogated you for a bit on your meeting with Dio, and you lied and told him you simply got curious after finding the bathroom and stumbled upon the study. You could tell he knew you were leaving something out but you would be damned if you actually told him the real way you found his father. After making sure you were ok enough for him and confirming that the man never touched you he dropped the subject and you both went on with the project while enjoying the food he had ordered. At around 1 AM you both agreed on turning in for the night and to continue in the morning. Giorno showed you to the guest room right next to his and bid you goodnight, finally leaving you alone with your thoughts. You laid on top of the bed just staring at the ceiling for a while. No matter how hard you tried, you kept replaying the meeting with Dio over and over again to the point that the memory of the maid slowly morphed and it was now you on your knees in front of him instead of her.

“Get out of my head!” You angrily whispered, not wanting for your friend to hear you through the walls. You glanced at your phone to see the time, ‘1:30 AM’ mocked the bright numbers. You got up from the bed and dug through your duffle bag and pulled out your pajamas. You thought about just changing and forcing yourself to sleep but you felt too warm and wanted a shower. Immediately you thought about going to the one down the hall but your stomach dropped, you did NOT want to run into you know who. “This house is huge, there’s definitely another bathroom somewhere.” You slowly made your way out of the room and into the quiet hallway. You checked the other rooms near yours only to find another guest room and a movie room, which you knew you were going to beg Giorno to set up a movie night after all of this. You walked down the hall and stopped at the stairs, looking at the hallway across from you where you knew the bathroom was.

“Maybe he’s not there anymore and went to bed?” You said to yourself. You shook your head and continued on your mission of finding another bathroom and descended down the stairs, you weren’t going to take any chances. Finally after finding the kitchen, two more guest rooms and a billiards room, you found a second bathroom. It was smaller and less ornate than the one up stairs but it was still a decent size and had a stand up shower. You mentally cheered before placing down your items and quickly began stripping. Soon you were in the shower letting the cool water bounce across your skin, feeling the tension in your body slowly melt away. Occasionally your mind would wander onto the relationship Giorno had with his father, yes the man was indeed intimidating and there was something below the surface of that beautiful face that felt a bit dangerous, but there was nothing else that struck out to you as to why your friend couldn’t stand him. He’s told you about how egotistical the man is and how they always lived on edge of a fight, but never actually gave you hard proof or reasons for the intense dislike. Giorno had told you about his mother and how a complete bitch she was while he was growing up and everything she had put him through so you understood his feelings towards her completely. Eventually she dumped him off onto Dio one day and just disappeared from his life, ‘good riddance’ he had told you. Yet the mechanics of his relationship with his father was still kept a mystery to you and he would close up about it if you started asking too many questions. The only answer you’ve gotten so far was that they shared a difference in morals, and that was it.

After a good while you finished your shower and started to dry off. You felt as if a thousand weights were lifted from your shoulders and quickly put the events of the evening to the back of your mind, finally feeling sleepy. You began to get dressed but noticed something odd. You could have sworn you brought a clean pair of underwear to change into along with your pajamas. You looked around the bathroom floor to see if maybe it had fallen but found nothing.

“Maybe I left them in the bag by accident?” You shrugged your shoulders and just decided to just slip on your night shorts without underwear , you’d put some on when you got back to your room. You opted for a simple tank top as well to complete the look, your body was still a bit wet so the shirt became damp making the material a bit see through. You didn’t really care much, not like you were going to run into anybody like this..

You made your way out of the bathroom, the air inside the house suddenly felt a lot more colder and you began to shiver. Scurrying your way through the first floor you finally made it back to the stairs and started to climb them. You hadn’t noticed the extra pair of footsteps walking the hall until you were half way up, stopping completely in your tracks and if you hadn’t met him tonight the sight before you would’ve been a terrifying one. Dio stood at the top of the stairs, his back facing the little bit of light from the hall so all you could really see was the outline of his body, his face was completely hidden in the shadows. It felt like you were looking at a ghost and not a man.

“What a coincidence, I was just on my way down to look for you, Ms. Y/N..” His voice was as smooth as ever, but you noticed there was something else there that you couldn’t quite pick up on. “What on earth are you doing up at this hour?” You were feeling a bit uneasy with how calm he sounded, and the fact that you couldn’t see his face was making it worse.

“I was just taking a bath..” You answered meekly, your throat feeling tight.

“And why would you go through the trouble of going all the way down there? You already know there’s one upstairs.”

‘ Because I didn’t want to run into like I just did now.’ You thought to yourself. You swallowed hard before answering.

“I-I didn’t want to disturb you in case you were asleep.”

“Aren’t you the thoughtful one.” He let out a chuckle. “No matter, I actually was looking for you to see if you forgot something.”

“Not that I know of..why?” You wanted for this conversation to be over already, the tension that you had just showered away crawling right back to you. Dio let out another chuckle, this one sounded a bit huskier. He didn’t say anything but lifted his hand out to the side, and your eyes nearly popped out of their sockets. In his hand were your missing panties, where as he was still in the shadows they were illuminated VERY clearly in the light. You felt your embarrassment multiply as he laughed at your reaction.

“I found them on the floor up here by the stairs and figured they were yours, unless Giorno has changed his sense of fashion recently which I doubt considering he’s never liked polka dots to begin with. Then again I’m not one to judge.” You could hear the teasing tone in his voice and you couldn’t help but laugh nervously at his joke.

“This is just outright embarrassing, but thank you for trying to return them to me.” You kept mentally cursing to yourself about this whole situation, and how this happened in the first place; you should’ve just let Giorno come to your apartment to study like he wanted from the beginning. You began climbing the stairs to retrieve your underwear from the blond, but as soon as you reached the last step he took one step back just out of your reach. You furrowed your brows and stepped forward again, and once more he took another step back. “Um...what are you doing?”

“Playing your game, Ms. Y/N.” You rose a brow in confusion, you were honestly getting annoyed now.

“What game?” He let out a ‘hmph’ before turning around and walking down the hall, still dangling your underwear over his shoulder for you to see. “Hey!” You shouted and followed after him as he disappeared around the corner, once you reached it you stopped to see the door to his study was wide open. You made your way over and stood in front of the open door, on top of his desk were your panties, but Dio was nowhere in sight.

‘ I would have to be a complete idiot not to realize this is a trap.’ You stayed in place, just staring at the underwear that was mocking you. He had to be somewhere in there, but the dim lighting made it hard to see into the small shadows in the corner of the room, and the light from the hallway wasn’t helping much either. You contemplated just leaving them there, it wasn’t like you had no more underwear at home, but deep down you wanted to see what would happen and the moment that thought crossed your mind you felt a warm sensation through your body. Your fantasy was getting the better of you and before you realized it you were walking towards the desk. You reached the desk and still no sign of the man, so you reached out to grab your underwear without hesitating.

*Click*

The light from the hallway completely disappeared as the door was closed, you didn’t turn around but you could feel someone staring at you from behind. His footsteps echoed in the room, surprised that you could even hear them over the sound of your own heartbeat blaring in your ears. He stopped right behind you, his chest practically pressed against your back. A large hand reached out from behind you and took hold of the clothes that you were still clutching in your hands before tossing them to the side. Once more the hand came into your line of vision and tenderly cupped your face and turned it to the side to meet Dio’s hot gaze. His hand was cold in comparison to your hot face as he slowly traced circles on your bottom lip with his thumb. He bent his head down to your ear, pressing you against his body in the process and feeling his hardness rub against your ass. You let out a gasp, earning you a chuckle from the large man, his warm breath tickling your ear.

“I knew from the moment I laid eyes on you, that you’d be a special treat.” His voice felt like velvet as he whispered into your ear, the sound along with his breath was beginning to make your body betray you as each word he whispered sent a throbbing heat to your core. He kissed the spot right behind your ear, slowly ghosting his lips across your jaw, then your cheek before hungrily taking your own lips with his. His lips were softer than they looked as they caressed your own, earning a moan from you. Dio took the opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth, deepening the kiss. You should’ve pushed him away, bit his tongue, elbowed him to make a run for it or something instead of just giving in. His other hand had wrapped around your waist, but was now moving up and under your tank top grabbing a hold of your right breast and massaging it. Dio finally pulled away from the kiss and aside from the lustful look on his face he seemed unaffected, unlike you who was a panting red faced mess.

“We shouldn-'' Was all you were able to breath out before he pinched your nipple hard eliciting another moan from you as he began rubbing the sensitive bud between his fingers.

“Your voice sounds so sweet when you moan for me Y/N, I want more of it.” His other hand left your face as it travelled to the waistband of your shorts before slipping through easily, running a long thick finger across your slit. Your hips on their own accord bucked at the sensation, making Dio laugh darkly. “My, my, all I did was kiss you and you’re already so wet. You’re a very filthy girl aren’t you Y/N?” You turned your face away from him and bit your lip to hold back another moan as he slipped his finger inside you and began pumping it slowly. Your knees began to buckle from underneath you, so Dio pushed you both forward effectively pinning your legs between him and the desk to stop you from falling.

“I can’t do this,” You whined to him. “Your Giorno’s father..” You squeezed your eyes shut in pain as he added two more fingers and began pumping at an obscene pace, not allowing you to stretch around them first.

“I’m well aware of who I am to that boy.” He answered gruffly.The hand that was on your breast moved and was cupping your face a bit more rough than before, his fingers now hitting your sweet spot causing your breath to stop in your throat. “I’m also aware about his feelings for you and how blissfully ignorant you are to them. Which makes this so much more sweeter for me.” He kissed you again, this time more feverishly. As he pulled away again he withdrew his fingers from your heat at the same moment, leaving you feeling empty. That feeling was short lived however as he pushed you down onto the desk, your chest was completely pressed against it making your ass push out towards him. Dio pulled your shorts down to your ankles, the cold air rushing to your wet core making you shiver. You could hear him unzipping his pants and the ruffling of clothing, before you felt the tip of his dick tease against your entrance. Slowly he inched it into you, stretching out your hole. It had not hurt as much as you thought it would but there was a dull pain nonetheless from how big he was. You’ve had partners before so you were by no means a virgin, but you’d be damned if you had anybody with his size.

“Such a nice and tight cunt you have my dear Y/N. I can’t wait to ruin it.” Without wasting another moment he gripped your hips with both hands as he began to fuck you roughly, the lewd sound of his skin slapping against yours were drowned out by your loud moans. His chest was pressed firmly against your back, his head right next to your ear and you could hear every groan and grunt that escaped his lips. “I wish you could see the look on your face right now,” He panted into your ear, not once stopping his relentless pace. “Such a dirty look for a dirty girl.” You had no response, the only thing falling from your mouth being your own incoherent screams and moans. Soon you felt a hot pressure beginning to build, each thrust bringing you closer to your edge.

“Dio please!” You couldn’t recognize your voice, it sounded so hoarse and needy. He took notice and snaked a hand down between your legs, pressing a finger onto your clit but not moving it.

“Please what, my dear Y/N?” He began to slow his pace, getting you on the verge of tears as you felt the pressure begin to fade. “I want to hear you beg for it.” You tried to bring your hips to meet his but he only pulled farther away. Finally you gave in.

“Make me cum from your cock Dio, please!” Satisfied he picked up his pace, slamming into you as he began rubbing your clit in tight circles. The pressure began building up again causing your vision to go in and out.

“I want you to scream my name when you cum. Be a good little girl for me.” His voice is what sent you over the edge as his name ripped from your throat as you orgasmed. As you came your core squeezed around him, bringing him close to his. He pulled out with a final groan as he emptied his load onto your ass. As your high began to die down, you felt the pain on your thighs from being pounded into the desk. You were going to have bruises tomorrow for sure. Slowly Dio lifted himself from on top of you, lifting you off of the desk as well. “I apologize, but it seems I may have made a bit of a mess on you.” His breathing was back to normal, but when you turned around you looked down and nearly choked. He was still as hard as a rock. “Why don’t I join you for a another shower, Ms. Y/N?” The devilish look on his face was enough to tell you that your little romp was far from over.

[petalsbloomed-a]

itaru talks about noah - part 1.

1. what’s the strangest/weirdest thing mun has watched on youtube? you know those raunchy parodies of rap songs and the versions where people are quite literally screaming the lyrics of songs? yeah, he watches that stuff a lot.

2. what’s the strangest/weirdest movie the mun has watched? i don’t know if he’s watched any movies that have been known for being strange, but a lot of the horror stuff he finds can get pretty creepy at times.

3. what’s your mun do when they become sad? do they hide it or talk about it? it really depends. most of the time, i think he hides it at first and then opens up when things start to go really wrong. it’s probably because he doesn’t want to feel like a burden.

4. how long does the mun stay upset for? again, it really depends on the issue. he does struggle with really bad mental health, so it’s possible for something to weigh him down for quite a while. i think a lot of it has to do with his willingness to communicate with others.

5. what’s your opinion of the mun’s fashion sense? basic bitch. well, more basic than me, but at times he does like to mix it up a lot and put jewelry together with a top that just...don’t naturally fit. i mean, have you seen the earrings he wears to class?

6. is the mun prone to mood swings? oh, very much so. one moment he’ll be so down to write, being all bubbly and completely running his mouth about the things he likes, the next he’ll get frustrated and upset and go to watch some funny shit on youtube or listen to music to hopefully help to stabilize his mood.

7. what was the strangest thing the mun has done that made the muse confused? doing kpop dances in the middle of his school’s hallway. that’s all i’m going to say.

8. does the mun like to shitpost/make funny posts a lot? he doesn’t shitpost a ton over here, but on his anime blog, i swear, sometimes the shit that he thinks of and comes out of his mouth is so strange that it’s just funny.

9. has the mun ever scared the muse? not in any particular way that comes to my mind immediately.

10. what about the mun does the muse find annoying or bothersome? sometimes he just can’t stop talking. i can never tell if it’s because of his ADHD or if he’s just excited about something, but sometimes he just completely interrupts my peace and quiet seemingly out of nowhere.

11. do you like the backstory your mun gave you? he didn’t really give me a backstory; he adheres to what my creators did for me. but he did give my sister a pretty nice name.

12. is mun a social butterfly or a loner? he’s a pretty social person, but he does have his moments. he likes to keep his distance, even though sometimes it’s hard for him to tell when he should be less energetic or give someone their space.

13. did you once not like your mun? if so, why? i don’t think i’ve ever actively disliked noah. he can be a bit obnoxious at times, but he’s a pretty cool dude.

14. do you wish your mun was more open to those around them? in real life and on tumblr? he’s pretty open with people in real life, but who am i to criticize him or even give him advice on the matter? i struggle with being open about who i am myself, so i don’t think it’s appropriate for me to judge him.

15. does your mun draw or write? if so, what work are they most proud of? he writes a lot and he does have some experience with art, but most of his focus goes into the things he writes. it’s hard to say what he’s most proud of, because he always describes his works as ‘short, sweet, and mindless,’ but i do enjoy whatever angsty stuff he writes. he says he’s not good with angst, but sometimes when i read his angst fics i can really get the sense of some things he may be struggling with in his unconscious. some of the things he writes just roll off the tongue, and in such a beautiful manner.

16. how long does it take your mun to draw/write a piece of work? it really depends on what he’s doing. an art piece, even a small sketch, can take him up to an hour, but his fics can usually take him between thirty minutes to two hours. his short and soft fics he usually spends about half an hour on, but his longer ones, like his angst and relationship fics, he can spend up to two hours on.

17. what other social websites does your mun use? other than tumblr, he’s probably most active on his anime twitter account as well as some discord servers he’s on, but he also has a facebook, instagram, ao3, and sparingly uses deviantart, reddit, pinterest, soundcloud, twitch, quotev, and wattpad.

18. who are the first 3 people the mun thinks about when asked for blog recommendations? obviously, the mun is a bit biased, so he’s gonna first off recommend his best friend’s blog orang3lover. they post a lot of cute memes and social stuff, and they follow each other on their main blogs. here in the tumblr rpc, he’s really been enjoying writing and interacting with demontragedy’s chikage, aka my lovely boyfriend, and gloomyheart10′s banri, who is the bane of my existence but miraculously still considered to be my best friend.

19. how many people are in your mun’s close-knit circle? he has a few friend circles actually. the one he interacts with the most would probably be his friend group from high school, but he also has a lot of friends, less of a circle, that he talks with a lot and hangs out with in college. this college friend group all consists of music majors, so he feels really at home with them. he does also have a few small friend groups online, but they’re pretty sparse and don’t have as many people as his irl friend groups.

20. how does the mun feel about their blog/blogs? i get the sense that he’s really happy with the blog he’s set up here in the tumblr rpc, but he has mentioned that with his personal blogs he wants to be a bit more creative about the content that he releases. his main blog is like 99% reblogs, so he wants to think about how he can release more original content that will attract more people to his corner of the internet.

21. what ask meme does your muse like the most? i don’t think he has a specific one, but he does like to reblog a lot of fluff-based sentence starters.

[writerproblem193]

So, it’s been a decade to the day since I started writing if I track from when I first started writing a novel at 11, though I wrote a few short stories for class before that. In those ten years, I’ve written 806,886 words.

353,706 of that is novels in various stages of completion

144,054 of that is in original short stories

309,126 of that is fanfiction

106,400 of that is for Supernatural

100,386 is the fic Ben’s Clues which isn’t even counting the two oneshots in the same universe. This was written in about nine months when I was 15

108,336 words of that is Carmilla

46,506 of that is Star Trek, across the various Treks

39,887 of the Star Trek is for DS9

35,556 of the DS9 is for Kira Nerys/Jadzia Dax

Honorable mention goes to Maximum Ride, my first fandom. I wrote 8253 words of fic on Max-Dan-Wiz

All this fiction writing also helped me in my continuing battle with university. For university so far, I’ve written 117,681 words. This is... not counted in my total fiction writing total. This is as WELL as that. Also, I don’t have a way of finding + calculating all the words I wrote throughout high school but I don’t doubt that it was a LOT.

In no particular order, a list of Most Notable and favourite things:

Ben’s Clues, my longest fic. It’s 100k of delighted nonsense focusing around Ben Braeden from the early show and an OC. This story has: bringing Gabriel back, some very funny “well I certainly want to grow up more functional than you” commentary on Dean, the use of black contact lenses to fool demons, evil cars, and evil YA novels.

Steal Your Heart, my original novella. I posted it on Wattpad WAY back in the day, and I still love it dearly. This story has: close family, straightbaiting, revenge, way too many Avengers references in retrospect, and a girl who wholly perceives herself as a weapon.

Even The Stars They Burn, the Carmilla Star Wars AU that came out all in one burning rush. It’s a series that ends with I’m Giving You All My Love, where the characters (and me) finally begin to heal from trauma. This story has: Laura as Anakin the disaster angst Jedi, Carmilla as Obi Wan AND Padme aka Laura’s wife who’s force-sensitive, a plot arc that I still am in awe that I wrote to this day, and some beautiful art by arthkael.

Untethered is the other story (also Carmilla) that came out in that kind of rush. I wrote it in one nine hour dash, including in the car on my way home from school. This story has: time travel bullshit, identity nonsense as they run across each other at different points in their own histories, me doing the “I made it worse then made it better” angst thing, and two girls in love across 400 years.

sealskinned, a Carmilla fic that is one of the few stories I’ve written that properly captures my obsession with water/merpeople/eldritch ocean energy. It’s also the first (and only) fic to get a podfic from someone else. This story has: selkie AND mermaid mythos, kindness and love being what defeats the ultimate evil, lesbians falling in love in a cabin on the sea.

Vampire Hearing, my Carmilla Big Bang epic that I wrote even as I ran the Big Bang itself with @elenaglbert. I’m proud of being able to put together such a long story. This story has: making out to pretend you’re not spying on people, vampirism + hearing loss as interconnected, bargaining with goddesses for life, refusing to give in, and soft dumbasses.

Otherwise Occupied and Counterbalance, twin DS9 stories that have a thesis of Fuck The Government, except one fic is directing that at Bajor and the other fic is directing that at Trill. These stories have: gays in space, exploration of what exactly it means to want to fuck up the government, healing from trauma, and SO MUCH found family.

what, then, could she complain of, except that she had been loved? a story based on Orpheus and Eurydice in original mythology. It’s the story I’m proudest of that I’ve written this year. This story has: deaf!Eurydice, Persephone as an ally to all women, an exploration of being loved vs being taken for granted, and “what if he DIDN’T look back and fuck it all up?”.

Obviously not all of my writing is up on the internet, but a lot of it is. My original work is on AO3 under the pseud Pingoodle, and the fanfiction under my main pseud ThatAloneOne. Both of these names were chosen WAY back at the beginning of this writing adventure. I think @elenaglbert aka Lanie is the only person who’s read everything I’ve written or like, 99% of it. Most of the stuff she hasn’t read is the stuff that requires an INCREDIBLY shattered brain to read and enjoy. You know who you are if you’ve read those ones. Anyway, it’s been a wild damn decade and I can’t say I’ll keep up the pace because a LOT of this was frontloaded and written when I was a young teenager who didn’t have to worry about capitalism but I’m certainly not going to stop writing anytime soon.

[imacrowcawcaw]

MY MASTERLIST

Sweetness hot meets sweetness cold, light and airy swirls around dark and heavy for the perfect blend.OTHER LINKS: WATTPAD & ROCK FIC

@insannywestan - Sanny shipping blog

@theladylovingcrow - my writing/art blog. If you wanna skip all the other posts on my main and get straight to the good stuff, go here (or use this masterlist!)

*** CONTAINS SMUT

* CONTAINS SEXUAL THEMES/EXTENSIVE KISSING

Greta Van Fleet

SANNY (Sam Kiska x Danny Wagner)

*** The Most Beautiful Distraction - tumblr - AO3

"Wanna ride you," Sam sighed, admission joining the swirl of colors in the air around them; burgundy kisses, blue touches, bright electric flashes of pain subdued by delicate green affection and care. Danny ached for him - the fiery burn in his stomach overcoming the duller waves from his burned hands.

*** Fuck The Movie, I Wanna Fuck You - tumblr - AO3

They were taking a break from touring, just chilling back in Frankenmuth. Danny had come over to his second home, and was snuggled up on the couch with his best friend, watching a movie. Everyone else was doing their thing - cooking, playing, talking on the phone - all perfectly normal for a nice, happy family. But FUCK Sam was feeling horny, naughty, and curious as to how Danny would react if he moved his hand just a bit higher....

*** Skin on Skin, Hearts Laid Bare - tumblr p1, p2, p3  - AO3

They started off cuddling as a necessity in chilly tents and cramped car rides, but it eventually became something much, much more. Sam finds that there isn't a safer place in the world, no where else he'd rather be, than when he's wrapped up in his best friend's strong, caring arms. And Danny, he just can't get enough of the feeling of Sam's silky smooth skin spread out underneath his hands. A chronicle of Samuel Kiszka and Daniel Wagner's budding love.

*** Silk and Satin, Leather and Lace - tumblr - AO3 

Sam has a surprise for Danny. A lacy, kinky one

*** No, Sam! - tumblr - AO3

Sam and Danny keep getting interrupted.

*** Keys To My Heart - tumblr - AO3

Danny just wants to try out Sam's new car, but the evil genius has some stipulations (like a handjob)

*** Blood Brothers - tumblr - AO3

"He leaned forward to nuzzle his face into the crook of Sam's neck, smelling the coconut oil in his hair and the rich rush of life flowing just below his skin. Danny licked at his jugular, giving it a small, almost affectionate nip before grabbing Sam's arm that was around his back and bringing it forward."

*** These Dreams - tumblr - AO3

"You're telling me that we've known each other, been near inseparable, since seventh grade, and you've never once thought about it? At all? You've had to have thought about giving guys a try at least once, everyone questions their sexuality."

Sammy gave him a shit eating grin. He scooted even closer to Danny, so that their knees touched and their noses weren't more than half a foot apart. Danny stopped laughing.

* The Sweetness of Love’s Bliss - tumblr - AO3 

Sweetness hot meets sweetness cold, light and airy swirls around dark and heavy for the perfect blend.

Don’t Go Away Mad (Please Actually Talk To Me About the Issue) - tumblr - AO3

They'd slept together so many times - but this was different. It would have been different starting last night, if a misunderstanding hadn't made Danny kick himself to the couch... but that didn't matter now.

* New Places, Friendly Faces - tumblr p1, p2, p3 - AO3

Danny was nervous; he had been building up the courage for weeks to arrange a date, and now.... He wasn't quite sure what to think of the situation he found himself in. The night certainly wasn't going as he had expected it to - and his emotions had never ridden a roller coaster this fast. Hell, the beautiful angel holding his hand wasn't even the one he had arranged to meet 2 hours ago.

*** High Sex is the Best (Just Don’t Fall Asleep) - linked under twins

Sam figures out that he's attracted to his best friend after catching Danny jerking off in the shower. Then they get high. (BTW this story focuses on Danny and Sam, though Jake and Josh are definitely in there)

*** The Lady and Her Knights  - p1 - p2 - AO3

You are seriously the luckiest girl in the world: Daniel Wagner is your boyfriend! And, yet, you can't push away the fantasy of having more. Specifically, Sam - you want his best friend, too. (THREESOME SMUT WITH HEAVY SAM/DANNY)

*** Black Panties and An Angel’s Face (continuation of ‘Silk and Satin...’) - tumblr - AO3

Sam had said that he would wear whatever Danny bought him.... would he, really? Fuck, if not them this was about to he a sucky Christmas for the both of them.

*** Grindr - AO3 

Sam gaped at him dumbly; mouth open wide, eyebrows raised, hands clinging tightly to his shoulders. Danny grinned, predatory and full of satisfaction, and thrust harder.

TWINS

* Freezeframe (teasing, talking mythology, and kissing while on a quiet evening hike) - tumblr - AO3 

Then I Recognized Me (comparing appearances, short and fluffy, could be gen or slash) - tumblr - AO3

* High Sex is the Best (Just Don’t Fall Asleep) (Sanny is the main pairing but the twins are shacking up in the background)  - tumblr - AO3

*** These Dreams (hinted at the very end) - linked under Sanny 

DRABBLES

* GVF Halloween Drabbles (6 random Halloween themed drabbles, some slashy) - tumblr - AO3

WHOLE BAND

Four Cute Little Piggies In a Blanket (foursome smut ~ yes in that way) - AO3

Metallica

Eyes of Juniper (Lars pisses off an ancient goddess and gets himself and Kirk turned into girls, eventuallly Jlars; on hiatus) - AO3

Guns N’ Roses

STEVEN ADLER X DUFF MCKAGAN

A New Addition To The Family (Stevie and Duff go adopt a dog, super fluffy and humorous) - AO3

DUZZY (Duff Mckagan x Izzy Stradlin)

*** Black Dog (Izzy blows Duff in the studio) - AO3

Baby, Let’s Get Wet (friends with benefits, Duff wants to fuck in the shower; half completed so sorry) - AO3

Young Love In The Woods (middle school AU, Izzy and Duff reminisce on how they met) - AO3

Lazy Days (a short and fluffy lazy morning in bed) - AO3

*** Curiosity Killed The Cat, But Satisfaction Brought It Back (humorous smut, Izzy comes up with a plan to seduce Duff; on hiatus in the middle of the smut woops) - AO3  

SLAXL (Slash x  Axl Rose) 

*** Curiosity Killed The Cat, But Satisfaction Brought It Back (background pairing) - AO3

Led Zeppelin

My Love, My Darling (ultra fluffy winter-themed fluff) - tumblr - AO3

The Magicians (TV)

Treasure (slow burn, binding spell gone wrong) - AO3

Other Fandoms I Could Write For

Merlin (BBC)

Queen 

Elementary (tv show)

Percy Jackson Series (the first 12 books)

How To Train Your Dragon 

Avatar: The Last Airbender

Catch-22 (book) 

Hey Folks! A few reminders I would love for y'all to read 

• I WILL write straight romance/sex or reader inserts, you just have to ask for it! I know that my library is almost all gay slash, that's just because that's all that has been asked of me 

• I love feedback! Give my stories an out of ten rating, constructive criticism, a video of you screaming, I don't care - But any reactions to my work are greatly cherished and much encouraged. It helps me gauge what y'all are into and improve writing 

• My disclaimer, as copy-pasted from Rockfic:  I don't own any of these people, places, or ideas (except the ones that I do). Any coincidences are just that. If you have a problem with my subject matter (other than a factual correction - you can comment that and I'll fix it) message me privately and I may or may not respond.

A/N: If any of these links aren’t working, please let me know so I can fix them! Thank you.

[hotchocolatefanfics]

Reboot PoTA Couple Theme Songs and their Meanings

Boy did this take me a while to finish! This is something I’ve been working on almost all of 2019 and I’ve finally finished it (2019 was not nice to me-my classes were, but everything else was a blur of getting sick and going from no anxiety to anxiety attacks happening daily. It was just a mess!)

Like the title says, it’s a theme song list for our favorite Planet of The Apes shippings and couples (I only did a few to save time but if this gets popular enough, I could do another involving any shippings and couples that aren’t present here (such as Will X Caroline or Malcolm x Ellie)).

Each couple have their own five theme songs (because one isn’t enough to tell their full story) and each song represents something unique about the couple dynamic or how the shipping can be interpreted and will include a description underneath (some may be longer than others (the more I know on that shipping/more I have to say, the more I write about them)-I apologize in advance for that!). If there’s any information that is missing or details that I overlooked (or even if you disagree with the description) please feel free to share! 

Please note that you are not obligated to listen to these songs and you are completely and totally free to add a song to these couple lists. Part of the reason why I made this was in hopes that maybe it would spark a conversation amongst us PoTA fans about our favorite PoTA shippings/couple and explore other shippings. 

Also, I didn’t include OC relations here but feel free to add them in your reblogs(you may also re-use songs that are already on these lists if you feel they could describe your OC x Canon shipping)! All love stories are welcomed on this post! (the only rule is there can’t be any underage or huge age difference couples).

My information sources are:

All three Reboot movies, Firestorm, Revelations, The Planet of The Apes Fandom Wikia and also reading a couple of stuff/peaking around on AO3, FanFiction.net, DeviantArt, and Wattpad.

With that said, enjoy the theme songs!

Caesar x Cornelia 

Stand by you - Rachel Platten

Better Together - Jack Johnson 

Say Something (I’m giving up on you) - A Great Big World

Kryptonite - 3 Doors Down 

The Call - Regina Spektor

Description: 

As this is a couples list, it only makes sense to start it with the king and queen themselves!

I think it’s more than safe to say that these two loved each other very much. 

We saw Caesar and Cornelia’s relationship grow from Rise, Firestorm, Dawn, Revelations, to War and during that time, we’ve seen them grow closer (I actually think that, as their relationship progressed, Cornelia made Caesar a better leader-as she pointed things out to Caesar that he either ignored/didn’t realize/know in Firestorm). 

When I personally think about this couple, I think about Caesar: The life he grew up with, the family he left behind when he chose to stay in the forest with the apes, the hardships he had to face in the earlier days/years of freedom and I think about all the stress and the anxiety that he had to have felt during those times. He had to have felt that he had to show strength in the presence of his followers-that would have meant not thinking/talking about Will, Charles or Caroline or letting it be known if he missed them at all. 

Then I think about Cornelia. As his wife, she had to have known everything about Caesar. From his childhood to anything and everything he feared and worried about as king and leader. If there was anyone in the whole colony that Caesar could have shown that side to him, that uncertain, missing his family side to him, it would have been Cornelia, and I would imagine that she understood that he missed his human home. That she listened to his worries and comforted him-possibly reassured him if he needed it.

I didn’t know if it’s talked about very much but, as king and queen they’re very similar in personality: Both being compassionate and kind, but also fiercely protective of both the colony and of their friends and as parents, both are (also) protective and loving towards Blue Eyes and Cornelius (examples being Caesar protecting Blue Eyes from the bear and later protecting both sons from Carver in Dawn and Cornelia keeping Cornelius safe in Revelations). 

This couple is featured in nearly every fanfic out there and every Planet of The Apes role-play that Tumblr has but I feel like we don’t talk about it enough. In War, Caesar was more than devastated by Cornelia’s death (and by the death of Blue Eyes) as he became vengeful, murderous and (pretty much) ready to kill because of it (remember that man with the wood at the oyster farm where they found Nova?). 

If you really want to go there, it says a lot about his and Cornelia’s relationship during the war. That (maybe) the war took such a tool on Caesar (mentally and emotionally) that she became his strength. That (maybe) Caesar was already on the verge of losing it well before the attack on that hill (like having a breakdown or panic attack)-and I wouldn’t be surprised, as he was betrayed by Koba, then by Red and other followers of Koba, and his apes were being attacked, threatened and/or killed by the soldiers.

Maybe Cornelia kept him grounded, reminded him of who he was and what was important and when the Colonel killed her, it broke something in Caesar and when he lost her, he lost part of himself and may have forgotten who he was (only remembering when he realized he couldn’t kill the Colonel). 

Blue Eyes x Lake 

Kiss The Girl - Ashley Tisdale 

Love Story - Taylor Swift 

Colors - Halsey 

It’s all coming back to me now - Meet loaf

When you’re Gone - Avril Lavigne

Description: 

Blue Eyes and Lake clearly loved each other in War. We know they grew up together and played with each other as children though their (romantic) feelings for each other likely came later (around the time of Dawn/Revelations). 

We didn’t get to see much of their relationship (due to Blue Eyes dying and/or being sent away in Revelations) but, considering that Blue Eyes was protective of his friends and family (and openly affectionate towards them in War), I think it can be assumed that he would have been a loving husband to Lake and would have protected her if she were in danger. 

Lake appeared to love children, so it is reasonable to imagine they would have had children together and she would have, more than likely, been a wonderful mother to them. Lake was also brave (as seen when she defended Caesar in War), which makes it likely she could have assisted Blue Eyes as his queen (if he had lived to become king). 

And now, the Fan-Made couples!!! 

Caesar x Koba (aka: ‘Caba’)

Little Do You Know - Alex & Sierra

Hold On - Chord Overstreet

A Moment Like This - Kelly Clarkson 

Breathless - Shayne Ward

Teddy Bear - Melanie Martinez

Description: 

Yes, I absolutely had to start with this one as it’s, if I’m not mistaken, the most common shipping in the fandom (and it’s also my favorite too!).

Caesar and Koba were obviously very close in Dawn (as best friends and honorary brothers) as Koba saved Caesar from that bear in the beginning and Caesar later gifted the pelt to him. This relationship was created when Caesar rescued Koba and other apes from Gen-Sys and continued in Firestorm.

I can’t remember if I got this far into Caesar’s Story, but I wanna say there was a part in the book where it talked about Koba having feelings for/falling in love with Caesar(?)(Please correct me if I’m wrong).

It all came crashing down when the humans showed up and Koba’s hatred of them was reborn and it became clear to him that Caesar still ‘loved’ humans (when Koba said “Caesar loves humans more than apes” he may have actually believed that-it is also possible he may have thought Caesar loved humans more than him). 

It eventually leads to Koba shooting him (which means he, essentially, abandoned his love for Caesar in favor of his hate for humans) and then declaring war on the humans-and later, resulted in Caesar having to kill him. Koba’s betrayal deeply hurt Caesar and so did killing him (let’s not forget that Koba’s ghost haunted him in War). 

What I’ve noticed with this shipping is it’s all about the vulnerable and damaged side of Koba’s personality and about Caesar’s protective and compassionate heart. 

Fanfics of this shipping sometimes follows the story of Dawn (with Pope as the bad guy or with Koba’s betrayal being deeper than just about revenge on the humans) and other times it’s completely different (nodding at the ‘Caesar and The Bonobo’ Beauty and The Beast AU on FanFiction and all other Caba one-shots(all deserve a read!)) but in all fanfics and fan arts of this shipping, there’s always a sense of heartache for the couple (either due to how Koba suffered before Rise or knowing how their relationship ended in Dawn).

Everything about this shipping is tragic and (when well-written out) heartbreaking but at the same time, it can be adorable and beautiful (I’m also tempted to call it irresistible for many fans-seriously, look on AO3, DeviantArt Wattpad, FanFiction.net-literally all of these sites has three or more fanfics/one-shots of this shipping (though I would advise you all to be careful as some of them may be, let’s say, ‘Rated R’)!).

I have not found any role-plays of this shipping on Tumblr (yet!) so I wouldn’t know how the shipping is portrayed in that category (Seriously, are there any role-plays of this? Cause I’d like to know!).

Koba x Stone 

I Still Love You - Josh Jenkins 

Yours to Hold - Skillet 

Grenade - Bruno Mars 

Hero - Enrique Iglesias

Immortal - Evanescence 

Description: 

I’ve, sadly, only seen this shipping on role-play blogs here on Tumblr so much of this is guessed (if anyone reading this has role-played this shipping before or have more experience with it, please correct me if I’m wrong!) 

Stone was one of Koba’s friends and first followers in Dawn (aside from Grey) but his motives for following Koba are never talked about (also in Revelations, it says he’s dead but he’s clearly seen alive in War…Does he have superpowers or did he just disappear and showed up again for War?) 

(Here’s my guess) Stone likely disagreed with Caesar’s role (to some extent but I doubt he was as extreme about it as Koba was) but what if, his main reason for following Koba had more to do with him having secret feelings for the bonobo than anything else? What if Stone saw and knew that Koba was still haunted by his past and comforted him when no one else would? And by the time the humans reappeared in Dawn, Stone developed his own hatred for the species that had hurt his love?

Meanwhile, Koba, who likely doesn’t feel comfortable talking about his past with anyone and felt betrayed and angered when Caesar disregarded his hatred of humans, probably would have resisted Stone’s affection for a long time before he finally let him in and fully accepted the comfort and love from the chimp (it is also possible Koba used that very sympathy to manipulate Stone into doing his bidding but I’m not sure if he would have needed to as, again, Stone would have already hated humans for torturing Koba in the past anyway).

Now about Stone’s death/survival: Let’s say that Stone survived Dawn (as seen in War). If he really did have feelings for Koba, it’s likely he would have felt guilty and somewhat responsible for his love’s death as he had chosen to agree with him that the apes should go to war with humans instead of talking Koba out of it (to be fair I’m not sure if Koba could have been convinced otherwise after the fight with Caesar in the dam but I think Stone would have had a better chance of reasoning with him anyone else).

Now let’s say Stone had actually died and Koba wasn’t defeated by Caesar. I think it’s more than safe to say Koba would be screwed if he was the one to have to go to war with the Colonel in War instead of Caesar (and it may be reasonable to suspect he may eventually realize the gravity of what he did and would regret it all as the war continues) but if this war took Stone early on, and if Stone and Koba were romantically involved, it’s also reasonable to assume Koba would have regretted that most of all-seeing Stone as the last (and by the time of War, the only) to love him and care about him and feeling lost and alone without him.

All in all, this shipping has a love lost and a sort of ‘dam(sel) in distress’ feel to it.

Koba x Cornelia

Sk8ter Boi - Avril Laringe 

When I was Your Man - Bruno Mars

Uptown Girl - Billy Joel

Bad Boy - Cascada 

Dear in The Headlights - Owl City 

Description:

I have the same problem here-total guesswork! 

Based on what little I know of this shipping so far, it reminds me of the ‘outcast falls in love with popular person’ scenario that is sometimes seen in high school movies. But this shipping could seriously work as a love triangle story! 

Koba and Cornelia have little to no interaction in the books (the ones I’ve read so far anyway!) or in the movies but it is known that they see each other as honorary brother and sister (due to Caesar and Koba being honorary brothers). It’s reasonable to assume they had mutual respect for each other and that Cornelia was just as betrayed by Koba’s actions as Caesar was. 

However, it is never revealed what Koba’s plans would have been for Cornelia had Caesar truly died (there is a chance he could have forced her into marrying him but I also think there's a chance she would have rebelled against him and Koba could have decided to kill her (or kill Cornelius as punishment and then kill her? I dunno know)). 

Also, what if Koba had wanted Cornelia as his wife all along and only decided to kill Caesar when he did because the humans ‘conveniently’ showed up (unlikely but maybe)? I think this shipping was born from the idea that Koba always had a secret crush on Cornelia but kept it a secret because she married Caesar and knew he had no chance with her.

Another thought (and this is highly unlikely but still): In the wild, chimps would have multiple mates (Rocket in Rise for example) so there's also a (tiny) chance that Caesar could (in theory) be married to both Cornelia AND Koba-I have never heard of this particular thing happening and I’m not sure if the Caba and/or the Koba x Cornelia shippings are popular enough to warrant that sort of dynamic but it would make an interesting fanfic. 

Koba x Pope 

Issues - Julia Michaels

Battles Scars - Guy Sebastian Ft. Lupe Fiasco

Love the Way you Lie - Eminem Ft. Rhianna

Next To Me - Imagine Dragons

Courage - Superchick

Description:

For those who don’t know, Pope is the main villain from the Dawn comics. He’s very similar to Koba (as they’re both apes that came from labs) but worse as he enslaved primitive apes and saw them as lesser beings-going as far as calling them ‘stupid animals’. 

Anyway, me and a friend made this one up a while back in our discussions and, from what I remember, we had two or three(?) different scenarios for this shipping. 

One being that since they were both abused and tortured by humans, they may find comfort in each other (finding it easy to show vulnerability to someone who’s equally damaged) and fall in love from their shared experiences. 

In the comic, Pope’s past is only hinted by Koba when he says: “He was like me…A lab ape. Bad Things, maybe worse.” and then his past is never mentioned of again however, Pope does say: “Never show weakness.” after the killing of a human later in the comic. Based on that, it’s reasonable to suspect that Pope may harbor a similar hatred to humans as Koba does and may suffer from demons of his own but keeps it well hidden from other apes.

Two being more about their personalities: Both Koba and Pope are capable of hurting people (as seen when Koba killed Ash and shot Caesar and Maurice in Dawn and when Pope killed the alpha, killed Fifer and Cora and enslaved all the primitive apes in the comic) and both are described by the PoTA Fandom Wiki as ‘cruel and tyrannical’ (with Koba being described as ‘belittling’, ‘unstable’ and ‘manipulative’ and Pope as ‘immoral’, ‘arrogant’ and ‘egomaniacal’). 

Considering these traits, it wouldn’t be too hard to imagine one of them to perceive the other’s vulnerability as ‘weakness’ and actually abuse the other (like Pope abusing Koba or Koba abusing Pope). Based on their personalities, it’s possible the kind of abuse they’d inflict on each other would likely be physical, emotional, or mental abuse (or all three).

Third (and this is more of continuation of the second one!), even if Koba and Pope weren’t abusing each other, their relationship would likely be argumentative, unhealthy, troubling, rough and just very dysfunctional. 

These are two very damaged apes with traumas that were not properly dealt with or given help for and full of pent up rage and hate towards humans (plus Pope hated Caesar and disrespected his rule). If they were to be a couple, their own traumas and hatred would feed off of each other and may, inadvertently, make it worse (this would likely not be a problem if Pope and Koba were with other people as a person who doesn’t have the same experiences or resentment as them would likely help ‘heal’ them). Maybe their relationship could work but they may need therapy (psychotherapy and/or couple therapy) before it gets there.

Red x Winter 

Sorry - Halsey 

Please Don’t Leave Me - P!nk

Accidentally in Love - Counting Crows

Secrets - OneRepublic

You Belong With Me - Taylor Swift

Description:

Eeeeeek! This one is my second favorite! I can’t wait to share this dynamic! :D 

Both gorillas are first seen in Revelations. Red being manipulative, defiant, aggressive and violent (as shown when he manipulated Grey, lead the soldiers to the building where the colony was hiding in, tried to kill Cornelia (twice and one being while she was trying to help another female ape give birth!) and also when he slapped Cedar) and Winter being fearful and timid (as seen when he faced the wall after the building next to the colony’s hiding place was blown up and when he failed to kill Cornelia (which Red manipulated him into trying to do anyway)). Both are seen again in War, where Winter proves himself as a coward and Red a traitor. 

Needless to say, both of these gorillas have very different personality types. The interactions they had both in Revelations and in War weren’t enough to say they were friends (let alone romantically involved) however, Red clearly knew Winter was easy to control. Why else would he consistently manipulate him? And Winter appeared to be afraid of Red. This could be because Red was more aggressive than him and Winter feared confrontation. 

However, there’s a lot about the two gorillas that were never revealed (backstory wise. I actually do have a backstory theory for Red but that’s a post for another day). For example, Red was shown to have a lot of anger built up in him and while it is believed to be due to Caesar killing Koba, it feels much deeper than that. 

Koba was only leader for a day and or two (or less, my math isn’t great) and Red was willing to kill Cornelia, manipulate and endanger other apes and betray the colony over that? No, this anger didn’t develop overnight. It had to have been there BEFORE Dawn (and it somehow has something to do with Caesar)!

Then there’s Winter. We know his father died before he was born but we don’t know how or what his relationship was/the whereabouts of his mother (this does open the door for speculation of whether or not the circumstances of his father’s death and the relationship he had with his mother could have anything to do with Winter’s fearfulness).

Finally, their relationship: What if Red’s anger and hate was all a mask? What if, deep down inside, he was actually a very hurt, troubled and damaged person and only knew how to show it through anger? And what if Winter’s greatest flaw was actually his strength? Winter was more open about his feelings in both Revelation and in War (whether it be fear, shock, or worry) while Red was very closed off. 

What if that difference was what originally attracted Winter to Red? What if Winter, despite being intimidated by Red, viewed him as mysterious and was drawn to him by that. Meanwhile, what if Red was secretly jealous of Winter being so open about his vulnerabilities-even if he knew others would look down on him for it.

With all that said (sorry it was that long!), Red and Winter’s relationship would be built on shared (either expressed or hidden) vulnerabilities and traumatic experiences. Both have flaws and neither of them are weak. They just depend on each other for strength and (in one-shots where they survive War) for belonging as they have no one else.

Blue Eyes x Ash 

Bad Day - Daniel Powter

Dark Paradise - Lana Del Ray 

Perfect - P!nk

Complicated - Avril Lavigne 

Count on Me - Bruno Mars

Description:

This is another shipping I’ve only seen briefly-I’m not sure if there are any role-plays of it on Tumblr (but then again I never really looked either!) but there is a fanfic or two out there of this pairing (again, if I miss something a detail regarding this shipping, please let me know!).

Ash is first seen in Dawn when he and Blue Eyes are fishing together. Right away, it’s pretty clear these two are close friends and likely grew up together (which would make sense as their fathers are so close). Based on the interactions between him and Blue Eyes in that scene and the council meeting scene, Ash can be described as humorous (such as when he poked at Blue Eyes) and confident in himself (like when he was teasing Blue Eyes over the bear incident) and Blue Eyes, is protective of him as he (presumably) protected him from Carver before Rocket and the other apes intervened. 

Blue Eyes is left devastated and deeply hurt after Ash’s death and, throughout Revelations, thinks about him constantly and later having a dream about him. 

Since I don’t know that much about this pairing, this is where the guesswork comes in: As these two grew up together, it’s more than likely they also knew each other on a deeper level than their parents did-for example, Blue Eyes could have told Ash all his secrets, whatever worries or fears he had, maybe ranted to him about his anger and frustrations with his father or about being prince. 

I don’t know if Ash had any issues with his parents (as he and Rocket appeared to be very close as father and son-and we don’t really see Ash interacting with Tinker) but if he ever had a bad day, he’d likely talk to Blue Eyes about it just like Blue Eyes would. 

This relationship would be founded on childhood friendship, turned best friends, into lovers. Likely turning into a ‘you’re the only person I trust with my secrets’ kind of relationship while also being a very supportive and protective kind of relationship too.

McCullough x Caesar

I Hate Everything - Three Days Grace 

Girlfriend - Avril Lavigne 

Hold Me Down - Halsey 

You Don’t Own Me - Grace Ft. G-Eazy

Hellfire - The Hunchback of Notre Dam

Description:

I dabbled on this one in my Whumptober one-shots but if anyone’s interested in more of this shipping, there’s a few on AO3 (it’s easily the black sheep of this list but I think it deserves a place here for clarification as to what this shipping could be versus what it sounds like). It’s a weird pairing but it’s worth checking out! 

I think we all know Colonel McCullough as the most evil human in the reboot movies (as he is willing to kill apes and any human who is infected with the virus-his own son for example) and seeing how he treated Caesar in War (chaining him up, forcing him and the ape colony to work, having him whipped and tied to a cross with no food or water for days, killing Cornelia and Blue Eyes) it’s easy to see why this shipping would raise eyebrows but it all depends on how one looks at it. 

For example, I see the shipping as a possible twist on War: As the war between the apes and AO soldiers unfold, McCullough’s desire to capture and/or kill Caesar turns into something else. He becomes obsessed with the Ape King and decides the best way to defeat him and get rid of the apes would be to destroy Caesar’s life. So he deliberately kills Cornelia and Blue Eyes knowing it will provoke Caesar to go after him and later in the base when McCullough has Red and Preacher bring Caesar to his office, he blackmails Caesar into marrying him (saying that he’ll let the colony live if he agrees).

As a result of it, Caesar becomes McCullough’s “chimp-wife” and is a prisoner in this forced marriage, the ape colony thinks he’s abandoned and/or betrayed them, the AO soldiers and the Donkeys are confused by the whole thing and Red and Preacher (who witnessed the Colonel’s blackmailing marriage proposal to Caesar) are thinking “WTF is happening here?”.

Another way one could see this shipping would be as something funny. Yes, it’s dysfunctional but that could be the point! If one wanted to make a fanfic of this shipping, they could use the dysfunctional aspects of the relationship and make it funny. Think Marge and Homer Simpson for example.

For those who have an issue with this shipping, I 100% agree this relationship would be doomed from the start (if we decide to take it seriously). If McCullough and Caesar were to be married, I can picture the Colonel being abusive and predigest towards Caesar and his species, blaming him for all things wrong in the world (such as the virus, the fall of the human race), likely never showing any love or affection towards Caesar, and poor Caesar would become depressed and miserable from this awful marriage. 

Bon x Pope (from the Dawn comics!)

Bleeding Love - Leona Lewis 

Follow Him - Peggy March 

I would Do Anything For You - Foster The People 

Just The Girl - Click Five

All You Wanted - Michelle Branch

Description:

To be honest, I’m not sure if Bon was really this close to Pope as he only appeared once or twice in the Dawn comics BUT! he was one of his loyal followers and while it is possible he only disagreed with Caesar’s rule, there’s another chance that he may have had feelings for Pope (much like my description of the Stone x Koba shipping).

For those who didn’t read the comics, let me sum up the interactions between these two: Bon was one of Pope’s followers and is seen returning back to the zoo after (unsuccessfully) searching for an ape named Fifer who escaped them and informs Pope that there are humans nearby. Bon also took part in the battle between Pope and Koba and was later banished along with Pope’s followers while the primitive apes followed Koba back to the Ape Village. 

As this shipping, almost no leg to stand on (and is more made up than the others on this list) allow me to explain it here: Much like Grey and Stone towards Koba, Bon (and a gorilla named Rex) followed Pope-presumably because they also disliked Caesar and/or his rule. As Pope didn’t actually plan on killing Caesar until later in the comics and didn’t realize there were primitive apes, in the beginning, I don’t think there was any manipulation going on from him.

Now let’s look at Pope for a second: Pope was an ape who looked down upon anyone who showed weakness or was primitive and had no problem with enslaving, torturing, endangering or murdering other apes. Like I said in my description for the Koba x Pope shipping, Pope was also a lab ape (with fishnet scars on the left side of his face, shoulder and chest giving us a hint as to what he was put through-though it’s never actually discussed) so it is reasonable to imagine he may have his own demons and traumas, much like Koba does (unsurprisingly, Pope also hates humans). 

The thing about Pope that I’m curious about is if he is traumatized from what had been done to him at the hands of humans, does he show it? He likely doesn’t as he appears to dislike seeing it and other apes showing weakness but that would mean that, much like Koba, he’s holding things back, probably much more than Koba was (as Koba is seen in Dawn talking (briefly) about what he went through with humans to Caesar). 

Now looking at Pope and Bon, it makes me wonder if Bon could have picked up on that. Like what if Bon saw the pain that Pope was covering up and reached out to him? 

That, and it is also possible Bon was into the ‘bad boy’ type.

Phew, glad that’s over! XD

[phanfictioncatalogue]

Monthly Follower Recs

Follower recommendations of December 2018.

Anonymous

A Christmas Miracle (ao3) - scifiphan

Summary: dan tells his grandma about phil

a well of many words (ao3) - CapriciousCrab

Summary: A random uni assignment brings Dan face to face with his past, stirring up old memories and long buried feelings. Could this be the second chance he never expected to have?

Birds. djh + pml (wattpad) - -upsidedown

Summary: they just wanted to watch the birds.

Black Water (ao3) - glitterhowell

Summary: Dan's having one of his bad days.

Calm The Storm In My Head - cactiphan

Summary: After the Tour, Dan’s anxiety becomes worse and worse. Dan has a major panic attack after filming a horror game for spooky week and has a breakdown, but Phil is there to pick up all the pieces and promises to help him on his journey back to feeling calmer.

Candles Burning Low - hanukkahphan

Summary: “‘Holidays aren’t easy for me, you know? Don’t you hear what they’re saying, all the time? And you never do anything.’

His mother clasped his shoulder. “They love you. You only get one set of family, Dan.’”

Cat and Mouse - jilliancares

Summary: Dan Howell is the Panther. He's evil, nefarious, ingenious, and good at coming up with adjectives for himself. The Raven is a nuisance, but he's definitely the most fun part when it comes to being a villain. As a child, Dan had been scared of his powers. He'd been weak. He'd become strong, though. Strong enough to torment the city; strong enough to annoy the Raven with every opportunity he got. 

Phil Lester only had one goal these days. To become strong enough to defeat the Panther.

eloquent graffiti (ao3) - danhedonia

Summary: It was a beautiful, relatively simple scene; a field with mountains off in the horizon, a galaxy for a sky, and a silhouette of a man made of stardust laying in a field, looking up at the universe above him.

Phil didn’t know it at the time, but that was the first painting of his that Dan inspired. Dan was his spaceman, his beautiful work of art that Phil wanted to spend the rest of his life recreating in every possible way.

Halfway There (ao3) - writingwannabe

Summary: Phil is a music teacher who only wants to inspire his students to be the best they can be. Dan is a coffee shop barista who busks on the streets in his spare time. Phil passes him on his way home from work every day, but one week when Dan is nowhere to be found, his absence affects Phil much more than it should. Why, and how, is this stranger having such an impact on Phil’s life, when Dan himself feels utterly worthless and alone?

Like A Computer (ao3) - starboydjh

Summary: Dan’s brain is like a computer and needs to reboot itself sometimes. It just so happens that his brain needs to reboot when Dan’s home alone with Phil’s parents during their Christmas trip to the Lester home base.

never quite as it seems (ao3) - Ablissa

Summary: Phil has a unique gift that allows him to see something he never expected to see - his best friend Dan, meeting the person that would most likely become the love of his life.

It hasn't happened yet, and right now, Dan has no idea what lies ahead.

When old feelings resurface and every choice may have a big impact on the upcoming events, will Phil be able to make the right decision?

Showbiz (wattpad) - myhowellslester

Summary: the one where the owner of a fashion boutique falls for a struggling actor with a notorious side job

Some Kind of Folliful - danfanciesphil

Summary: Dan has one friend, and only because he was forced into it. Phil is loud, excitable, and irritatingly happy all of the time. Phil seems to find Dan’s perpetual attitude funny, and despite Dan’s best efforts to shun hum and everyone else, wants to be around him all the time. That is, until Phil starts talking about Amanda Jones.

The llama fic (ao3) - glitterhowell

Summary: Phil brings Dan home a special surprise to try out in the bedroom

The Origin of Us (ao3) - writerwannabe

Summary: Who knew that being stood up would be the best thing to ever happen to Dan?

The Sound Of Silence - embarrassing-myself

Summary: When Dan moved into his new flat, he absolutely loved it. He quickly finds out though that the adorable couple next door is incredibly loud. It doesn’t seem to matter what time of day it is; they’re always making noise. One day though all that stops and he’s left with nothing but the sound of silence.

We’ve come so far Together - Loving You Forever and Always (ao3) - CactiPhan

Summary: 9 years after PINOF 1, Dan buys Phil a special gift to remember their journey so far.

With you in my bed - quercussp

Summary: Sharing a bed is not always as romantic as romantic movies show it.

Words Left Unsaid (ao3) - burnedoutphan

Summary: Dan and Phil are out clubbing with some friends. Dan feels insecure that no one can hear him in the crowd.

You're My Muse (wattpad) - treshuuu

Summary: Manchester High school is one of the most famous and competitive high school for music and art. And also the school Dan is transferring to. He should be happy that the school scouted him in the middle of his third year of high school because they thought he was really talented but he isn't. Because his anxiety won't let him be happy. Dan is an aspiring pianist who has extreme stage fright and anxiety and is very bisexual. So all he can think about is how he is going to get bullied because of it. But his pessimistic thoughts come to an end soon after he starts the school.

@sparklesterr

A Stranger I Know Well (ao3) - SoManyRegrets

Summary: Phil has a secret boyfriend, and everyone wants to know.

Black Water (ao3) - glitterhowell

Summary: Dan's having one of his bad days.

You’re Happy Now, So That’s Okay - insertyoutuberquotehere

Summary: Kiddie Dan asks Kiddie Phil why they can’t hold hands anymore.

[slytherhell]

Send these to your favorite Authors and let them blab! What is your total word count on AO3? How often do you write? Do you have a routine for writing? What’s your favorite kinks/tropes/pairing? Do you have a favorite fic of yours? Your fic with the most kudos? Anything you don’t like about your writing? Now something you do like! Send it to some of your favorite Authors to spread some love

//////

Total word count on AO3 : 60634 ( and this is with the 3/4 of my fics still not updated since being posted. i’m not sure how it’s this much already, the word count, that is. the most amount of words i’ve written - for a total fic - was about 5k words; then it went up to 16k+ after the food fair entry . just think of how big my total word count could be when i get my writing muse back! )

How often I write: I used to update regularly, back in about 2015. Every day, I would have a new chapter for my fics (on Wattpad, because that was my first main writing platform, but Wattpad’s dead now so we’re here.) 

In fact, I used to have a full writing plan; I had about ten hp fics on my account. I picked out the top ones I had the most muse for - which was three, two drarry and one wolfstar - and told myself I would update those fics whenever I felt inspired to. 

In the end, I ended up updating those fics three times every week for a good two months, and I had about 24ish chapters for the drarry fics, and close to 20ish chapters for the wolfstar ( I started that fic at a later time than the other two. )  

I kept this pattern up, and made sure that everyday after school, I would clear a writing space for myself on my bed so I could write. That helped me a lot and I had so many creative juices...it was insane how much I wrote.

Now, however, I write only whenever I feel inspired to and have enough time + energy ( aka, when I don’t pass out from exhausation and not working on too many things in school - I had and still have a lot of /art/ projects. )

I try my best to write all of my ideas down, but I usually don’t have much inspiration to turn them into longer fics, or anything beyond a simple idea, so most of those get chucked and forgotten.

The ones I do manage to keep around, I usually scribble down the idea on a piece of paper, and write a starter line and/or paragraph to see how it would look if I were to continue it as an actual fic, then determine what I do with it when I get home.

There’s no true definition as to how much I write. I would just say I write depending on my current mood and situation.

Writing Routine: 

It used to start in either a swivel chair in the corner of my room, or at the wooden dining room table with a hot mug of fruit-flavored tea. ( It now varies from sitting upright on my bed with music blasting out of my headphones, on the living room couch with the low murmur of the t.v. in the background, or laid sprawled out on the floor with a Kubz Scouts video in the background. )

I try to take a few minutes to write the beginning paragraph on paper, or at least attempt to outline the story ( this usually lasts for about five minutes because I CANNOT sit still, and I’ll fidget a lot if I’m required to sit still for a while. ) 

I’ll usually look up fics of the similarity to whatever I’m writing, and get further story inspiration from them ( I’ll usually keep those fics up in a seperate tab to read back over when I need help and/or a burst of writing  inspiration )

If it’s something I‘m not quite sure about, or something I’m not properly educated on, I ALWAYS do a good bit of research before even remotely writing about it. ( This is something I do NOT skip over, like at all. )

I’m almost always blasting music or video audio through my headphones whenever I write ( I search and listen to music when I write, depending on the theme and the feel of the story. If I’m writing fluff, you’ll probably catch me listening to beautiful piano music. If it’s a dark story - gods, I love dark stories - I’ll be listening to dark music, be it dark piano versions of songs, ambient horror music. And lastly, if I’m writing something emotional, I’ll usually stop by songs that made me cry and sad as child, or that cause me to zone out of reality in present day. )

I try to set a timer whenever I write. ( While it intimidates me, it also pushes me to write more because me eyes are constantly flicker over to the timer, and the closer I see it move down to zero, the faster I write and edit. I kick in about a good twenty words at the very start of the countdown. )

( And unless you wanna hear me rant about how much I get off task and procrasinate writing whenever I can’t figure out how to make a scene work or something of the sort, then this is pretty much it. Oh, and I do a few read-overs and editing when I’m done with the first rough draft. )

Kinks in Fics:

I really like a good ‘ol leather kink in a fic ( specifically when the second half of the pairing, *cough, cough* draco in a drarry fic* is pulling on and stretching on leather gloves, and I blame @mzuul for that because the minute I saw her Draco Malfoy Bad Boy series art, that kink was developed and I’ve loved it since. ) 

Another one, this is gonna sound really gross + suprising for those that know me, but watersport kink. ( This was first developed when I read my very first fanfictions, and I found a few good drarry fics with this in them so this kink is here to stay )

Hair pulling kink. ( It started out with reading fics fics where Draco would either accidentally or deliberately tug on Harry’s hair, and Harry ended up loving it - but now, I read fics were both Draco and Harry have this kink because it’s actually really good. )

Praise Kink ( Started out with only Harry, but I also like fics where Draco has this kink. I blame @goldentruth813 entirely )

Hung! Harry ( Hung! Like! A Horntail! - this, this fic, is all i’m going to say..) 

Parseltongue Kink ( When! Draco! has! this! and! Harry! somehow! still! keeps! his! ability! to! speak! Parseltongue! and uGH,, THIS IS SO GOOD. ) 

Tropes in Fics:

Legitimate! Enemies to Friends to Lovers

sLOW BURN

Sectumsempra angst

Bi Harry

Pansy is a lesbian

Draco finding out how the Durshleys treated Harry and becoming absolutely lIVID at the news

Dark! Drarry

BAMF! Harry

BAMF! Draco

When they cross paths after a few years and get to know each other + proper character developement + when they clash and they have their ups and downs, causing people to wonder how they’re even comptaible but in the end, they make it work and are able to settle down with each other and enjoy the rest of their lives.

wHEN! THEY ANIMOSITY! STAYS!

Long-haired! Draco

Bearded! Harry

aUROR PARTNERS

Raising a kid together ( tEDDY-! )

pINING

mUTUAL PINING

Sassy! (Canon) Harry

Flustered! Draco

When they’re equally sassy and equally ruthless + being able to get their shit done, and staying on top of their game

When their kids become friends and that forces them to become friends as well and hang out with each other more often

When their kids wants their dads (Draco and Harry) to end up together and make it happen

when it’s hella fluffy

when it’s hella aNGSTY ( haha, chaotic neutural )

Top! Harry!

Bottom! Draco ( I can see them both as either or both being versatile but I really love when Harry tops )

Realistic first times 

Their friends setting them up ( I love when Draco, Pansy and Blaise are best friends in fics like this !! )

The constant switch of calling each other by first and last names, depending on the(ir) mood

When they are eQUALS

When they still have bANTER AND STILL ARGUE BUT W/O THE PREVIOUS HATE

When their relationship is real and raw that you can pratically feel it

hURT AND COMFORT ( real heavy on the hurt, just a bit on the comfort bc not drarry all fics have to have happy endings )

Anything involving them both working on a case together

Auror! Harry x Unspeakable! ( or even Healer! ) Draco

Jealous! Draco x (Still) Oblivious! Harry

Oblivious! Draco x Jealous! Harry

Protective! Harry ( Protective! Draco as well )

Beauxbatons! Draco x Hogwarts/Gryffindor! Harry

fORCED PROXIMITY

Multilingual! Draco

French speaking! Draco

Wandless magic ( for both )

POC! Harry ( This is my number one things in fics...I just love POC! Harry

Proper mention and represenation of Harry and/or Draco’s PTSD; following the war

Power couple! Drarry

Pairings:

Drarry ( OTP )

Pansmione

Linny

Blaico 

+ a few hundred more ( for all of them, but the kinks in general ) , but you’re probably gonna have to ask off anon bc i don’t wanna lose to remainder of friends i still have left on this site, over this post. ( i keep forgetting that not all drarry accounts follow me - i have some rpers, general artists, people following me with their main acounts + multifandom blogs and i feel like every time i get started up about anything drarry, they just...regret their decision to have followed me xD but you can kinda get the gist of my kinks, right? )

Favorite Fic ( of mine ) : While I constantly dog on my own writing skills, I actually do have some of my fics that I love. But my most favorite?  I’d have to say ‘(Fuck A) Silver Lining’

It’s a Draco Malfoy redemption fic I began writing earlier this year ( and yes, it was inspired/influenced by the P!ATD song. )

I mean, I haven’t updated it since I posted it - I began writing it on old Wattpad before I left that hellsite, then I later posted it to my ao3.

It’s my favorite because I really got to explore and go more in depth with Draco’s character, unlike J.K. R*wling.

And I basically filled in all the pieces that led up to the part of Draco’s life  we witness ( well, y’all, bc I never read it, ha ) in C*rsed Ch*ld 

I basically combined in every post-war Draco headcanon I ever thought of into one whole fic and while it takes you into his mind and shows you just how much the war has changed him, it is actually wholesome. I mean, we’ve got angst, hurt/comfort, finding love, and I even had a few scenes that were so fluffy and pure that I was crying as I wrote - which is why I haven’t updated. Other than dealing with shit irl, this story gets me really emotional and I just love it so much..

Fic with most Kudos:

‘just the right addition’ with 65 kudos.

summary :

harry has a leather kink. but draco didn't know that when he showed up on the field in a leather jacket, and suede leather gloves.

What I don’t like about my writing: 

I really don’t like how I transition from scene to scene in my fics. I feel like they’re extremely sloppy and really ruin the story; especially if I had a really good idea/path for the story. ( I also don’t like how I constantly compare my writing, then try and force to change my writing style so it sounds half as good as the author’s writing style of the story that I’m reading )

What I DO like about my writing:

Um, I really like how I start most of my fics off with dialogue. I like how I have a lot on the page, but it still blends in well to get its point across. And also, if it’s a one shot, I like how I have a beginning, middle, and end for the story.

Beginning: Introducing the prompt, and what’s going on with it

Middle: What the characters actions lead to, kinda showing you where it’s going to be heading soon

End : the general idea of the ending/aftermath of it + something like an epilogue, wraps things up in a way.

/////

Thank you so much for sending me this, anon!!

Again, thank you so much, and I hope you’re well!

-Teia

[izastar]

Mental Health Month

Hello there bright beautiful stars! I hope you’re having a very good day and remember to take good care of yourself. If not, take a deep breath for 4, hold it for 4 and exhale for 4. Unclench your fists and jaw, drop your shoulders, and lay back!

It’s the month for Mental Health and my stars do I have a master list for you. I am currently a second, onto my third year, college student.  Before college my self care was pretty much everyday because of the low intensity of high school. Now.. I admit I do some pretty down spiraling things and have had my share of breakdowns. BUT NOW I’m not saying it’s gone, I still have my days. I just wanted to share a couple of things that have given me a more healthy way of dealing with the stress, homesickness, sadness, etc. I am a very passionate person on advocating for self-care, mental health and well-being. So here’s a couple of things that have definitely lifted my spirits and how many little things can make a difference.  

Apps: As a generation based on technology, figured it could be useful!

Aloe Bud

Aloe Bud is an all-in-one, self-care pocket companion. It gently brings awareness to self-care activities, using encouraging push notifications, rather than guilt or shame. Helpful reminders from yourself, to yourself; saved within Aloe Bud so you can keep doing you. I kid you not, I am so busy and forget that I never to remember to eat on time but this app helps me track that along with taking my birth control on time too!

Eternal Sunshine

Daily inspiration, meditation exercise and inspiration podcast. This app is the cutest, most wonderful app I have current. The quotes I post from time to time are from this app. Every quote, mantra, affirmation is beautiful. It brightens up my day every day. ALSO! Some of these quotes, and stuff have actually inspired some of my work and I hope it can too for you poets, writers, artists, etc.

Flo

This is for my lovely stars that have to deal with periods!! This is a period tracker and ovulation calendar. It’s has pregnancy and post pregnancy mode where you can track your baby’s development and learn the essentials of being a parent with special visuals and articles!! They also have daily insights, timely reminders and a community. I just love this because I never track her & I actually like to read the articles they have and the insights they do based on my symptoms etc.

Oak

Oak helps you decompress by transforming meditation practices from experiments into habits. They support you from your first session to your 500th, with mindful, loving-kindness, and sleep meditations as well as unguided sessions and breathing exercises. Individualize your meditations by duration, and customize with silence or calming background sounds. Oak tracks your progress and encourages you to continue building a healthy meditation practice. They include meditation, breathing, sleep, meditation timer, and progress tracking. Truth be told I have a hard time sleeping so I use this app for breathing exercise before going to bed and it helps a tremendous amount.

Simple Habit 

Another meditation app!! Simple Habit is the best meditation app for busy people. Meditate for just 5 minutes/day to reduce stress, improve focus, sleep better, relax faster, breathe easier, and more. I use this app for when I really don’t have anything BUT 5 mins and I actually really enjoy the meditation.

#SelfCare

This app is just where you can interact with things within the room, e.g. plants, the cat, clothes on the floor, anything in the room. If for those who are staying home for the day, your space, our shelter. It’s really cute I saw. I love the colors and the art and the activities.

Books: They can always be useful, whether for coloring, writing in a journal, or reading!

Creative Haven Spring Scenes Coloring Book 

An effective and fun-filled way to relax and reduce stress. This version specifically is beautiful. I love Spring and I love flower and anything and everything nature and green so this is a LOVELY purchase! 

The have other themes too;  Summer Scenes, Celtic Mandalas, Sea Life, etc.

How to Be a Wildflower: A Field Guide

A fresh perspective, an outdoor exploration, a new adventure about to begin—How to Be a Wildflower is the book to celebrate these and other wide-open occasions. Encouraging self-discovery through encounters with nature, beloved artist Katie Daisy brings her beautiful paintings and lettering to this collection of things to do and make, quotes, meditations, natural history, and more. OKAY SO I JUST BOUGHT THIS BUT IT’S SO CUTE :(

Milk and Honey by Rupi Kaur

Milk and Honey is a collection of poetry and prose about survival. About the experience of violence, abuse, love, loss, and femininity. Okay listen I’m sure many are tired of these books but I truly love this book. I love the collection of poems. I love how some make you cry, some give you hope and other inspire you. For me seeing how others grow, glow, sometimes fall, but come up is beautiful.

The Sun and Her Flowers by Rupi Kaur

This is Rupi Kaur’s second collection of poetry book. This one is vibrant, transcendent journey about growth and healing. Again I know most are tired of these or feel as if they are overrated but I just love the little pictures/doodles and how some are long and short yet so meaningful.

The Wildflower's Workbook: A Journal for Self-Discovery in Nature

Brimming with gorgeous artwork from New York Times bestselling author and artist Katie Daisy, this fresh-as-a-daisy guided journal features thoughtful prompts to encourage engagement with the natural world. From bird-spotting advice to camping checklists, each exercise is executed in the artist's lovely signature style. AGAIN this is so pretty and I just bought it but I KNOW I’m gonna love it so much.

Hobbies To Pick Up: Here mare some that I picked up or am in the process, it’s fun to learn something new and you never know how good you could be at something!

Baking/Cooking

I’m not the best baker but I always feel so warm and fuzzy when other people bake for me. Don’t you love that happiness you give to others? Doesn’t that make you happy? This might be a little hard to start off with if you’re scared of burning something down or ruining food. But don’t fret my little stars, failure is only a part of success and who knows even a funny story to tell!!

Creative writing

Short stories, prompts, even just a sentence or two could really make a difference! I do a lot of creative writing, give yourself even ten minutes just to write whatever you’d like, it’s a nice feeling

Drawing/doodling/sketching

Listen I’m not one who strays from stick figures but every ONCE in a while I like to sketch something that I just can’t find online for my stories or prompts, etc. Practice makes perfect and give yourself patience.

Dancing 

Who says people with 2 left feet can’t dance?? I don’t have 2 left feet and not to toot my horn but I have good rhythm.. but STILL don’t let comments like those discourage you. Dancing can be something fun.

Exercising/hiking/biking  

Believe it or not exercising can be a hobby and it can be fun! Spice it up and sign up for a class! Enjoy the great outdoors! Nature to me is the best stress relief!

Gardening

I currently own 18 plants in my dorm room... it’s a LITTLE bad. I breath so much better with them in my room and they are so cute to look at and take care of! Start off with something small like succulents or bamboo!

Journaling

I promise it will make you feel better if you’re someone who likes to do things like this. You can make so many lists like for gratitude, places you want to travel, people who are currently crushing on etc!!! You can make it as you go and this is something you can truly personalize for you!

Painting

Watercolor is the prettiest thing I have ever seen in my life. Of course you can use other types of paint and paint on what whatever you liked like some pants you want to spice up or a canvas or even your wall!     

Poetry

It doesn’t have to an acrostic poem or one that rhymes, just whatever comes to you! you’ll be surprised at how good you could be!

Photography 

Even if it’s just with your iPhone camera on portrait mode along with VSCO, trust me you might find it interesting messing with filters and how you can make it look more sunny or more spooky to fit what you’d like!

Pick up an instrument 

I brought a UKULELE! It’s fun and cute and it makes me very happy! I also own a violin but that’s a little harder.. but it’s lovely. Learning to play a new instrument takes patience but in the end it’s worth it when you’re able to produce a sound so beautiful and lovely.

Reading 

Even if it’s a fic from ao3 or wattpad, reading something is better than nothing! I read a lot and have many books and series I need to finish. If you’d like a recommendation don’t hesitate to reach out!

Singing

You ever had a song come on shuffle and you just HAVE to sing? Doesn’t it feel good? Why not make it a regular thing? My shower is my STAGE!

Video games

I love animal crossing it’s so cute and it’s my life. I also have nintendogs & a bunch of Legend of Zelda, Pokemon, & Mario games. It’s a nice break away from reality and some of the plots are cute!

Volunteering  

Giving back is the best type of stress relief and it makes me so happy to see I can help others. Make it a hobby/habit of yours, maybe you’ll find something you’re really passionate about. I try to volunteering once a week and even if I’m exhausted it still makes me feel better doing something so small yet meaningful.

Daily Reminders: just daily activities good for your mental health and well-being

Eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner

Of course with snacks included!

Drink water, juice, lemonade, a venti strawberry acai from starbucks

anything drink that’s your favorite!

Sleep at a reasonable time

Listen as a college student.. I don’t follow this but I TRY to the best of my ability and that’s what matters!

Skin care routine!

Listen a face mask feels so good, yes it may burn here and there but your skin looks soft and cute and is thanking you for giving the time in your day to do something nice.

Some of my favorites are Shea Moisture Raw Butter Hydrating Mud Mask, ANY of the Freeman Mask, Laneige Water Sleeping Mask, Fresh Lotus Youth Preserve Rescue Mask

Thoughts to Remember: just things I think you should know and remember and at my worst days and bad breakdowns I tell myself

Remember that: things out of your control are NOT your fault. 

I know we are so quick to place blame on ourselves and get so upset when what we planned out doesn’t follow the script. But listen to me when I say this, if it is out of your control it is NOT your fault and you had NO part in that. 

The aim of life is not perfection, but happiness 

Try not to dwell on the bad for long, instead use that time to do something else that makes you happy

The little things matter

Even if you skipped all your classes or decided to cancel plans and not leave your bed, I’m happy that you woke up

Try not to be so harsh on yourself 

It’s hard I know it is. When someone goes bad in my day I spend time blaming myself and telling myself I deserve it but truth be told it was totally out of my control.

Uncertainty is an aspect of life we must accept

It’s okay not to know. This gives us an opportunity to dream & write our own stories

You are important!

Your hard work and effort does NOT go unnoticed and I am so proud of you.

Your feelings are valid

In any situation, context, etc. YOUR FEELINGS ARE VALID. Don’t be harsh on yourself and say you’re overreacting, or you’re being dramatic. Be genuine in how you feel because you’re feelings are valid.

Your mental health is important

Don’t let others comments tell you otherwise, if you need to remove yourself from a situation for your mental health, DO IT!

I hope this post helps you on your journey of either self-discovery, healing, adventure, etc. I hope you all remember to take care of yourselves and how much you matter. Life gets hard, and I understand that not everyone has the same background and culture growing up but I do hope regardless of that you are able to take care of your mental health and your overall well-being.

If you need anything from me, I’m always open for a chat. If that makes you nervous then you can also send me an ask!

with lots of love and stars,

stargirl