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smallraindrops-blog · 3 years

Note

Hi, just a heads up my ask is kinda specific and I apologize in advance. Could you do Hypnos x male reader, but the reader is the adopted son of Achilles and Patroclus. He’s usually dazed thinking about when he was alive and dwells on what happened when he was. Hypnos gets really excited when Hades sends for Thanatos to go get him from Elysium (currently stays in elysium with Patroclus) cause that means he gets to see him and watch him train. If you want to reject this, that’s okay, I get it.

Hey anon, sorry for the long wait and no worries about the specification. I actually found it kinda helpful. I just hope i got close to what you were looking for!

Wake me from this dreaming

Word count: 3.8

Hypnos x male! reader

Warning: violence, no kissing, some sexual/romance tension, flashback to death and war. No beta.

Just as quick extra note, this is not how real life ptsd works and any fighting advice is just off of Google, please understand that every thing is fictional.

It was the screaming that you remembered the most.

Achilles hunched over Patroclus' body, broken and bloodied. Screaming an inhuman sound that echoed in your head.

You knew you would carry that sound with you beyond your dying breath.

You should be screaming too you think but all you can do is tightened the hold on your spear.

Someone had to pay.

You thought Elysium was beautiful. Or at least you did whenever you were able to force yourself out of the memories long enough.

Patroclus' voice was usually enough to pull you out. You blinked down at him, "Forgive me, Pa. I didn't hear you."

He waved a hand to the shade that stood before you, their spear at ready. "Another fool seeking glory."

You looked toward the warrior, "I guess I can't ask you to come back another time, can I?"

You stepped forward and Patroclus called out, "Mind your footwork. You were sloppy last time."

Countless Shades had seeked you out for the chance to earn the glory of beating the son of Achilles and Patroclus.

You slammed the bottom of the spear into the ground and walked to the shade without any weapons.

You smirked slightly at the nervous look the shade gave you.

And this fool before you was another thing to take down. And just like all the ones before them, it took a single hit.

You watched dispassionately as the shade fell apart before your eyes. But for a few moments you didn't see the shade but of the every soul you took laid before your vision. And the roaring of a crowd in your ears. You looked down at your fist and you could have sworn you saw it covered in blood.

"Y/n. Y/n." A hand touched your shoulder and you jerked around only to have your wrist caught by Patroclus.

You blinked, before you remembered exactly where you were. "I'm sorry. I-"

"Silence." Patroclus said gently. "Even after all this time?"

You didn't say anything for a moment. "Not all of it." You told him.

Just the worst of it.

Patroclus frowned and looked like he was about to say something when black smoke appeared.

You stared at the god that floated before you.

"Lord Hades had sent for you, Y/N." The god told you. You tried to remember what his name was.

"Why?" You asked.

The god gave you a disapproving glare. Thanatos, you suddenly remembered. You have seen him before...

"Do you need to know why Lord Hades sent for you?"

"Y/N, the god asked you a question." Patroclus shook you carefully. You blinked and pushed the call of the past away.

"A reason would be nice, yes."

"He wishes to speak to you. That is all the reasons you need."

You looked toward Patroclus, "Are you okay with me going?"

"Go. Tell Achilles I expect an explanation soon."

And with that you nodded, "Very well. Take me to Lord Hades."

You weren't sure what to make of the house as Thanatos led you through a hallway. It felt like You were inside a living thing but none of the walls or floors moved.

What you did notice though was another god following behind you just down the end of the hallway. You turned your head around and saw a head full of white curls peeked around the corner, you couldn't quite see their face. A hand stuck out to waved excitedly at you.

You stared, not quite sure what make of the strange being or day you were having.

Thanatos snapped,"Hypnos, I know you have work to do. Leave now."

Hypnos ducked away, only to peek around again after a few seconds.

What an odd creature.

Thanatos opened the wide double door, "This is Lord Hades' private study so mind your manners." He warned as the door closed behind you.

You walked forward to the looming desk in the dark room. It looked just the one you passed with a long line of shades awaiting for Hades to appear.

Achilles stood before it and you could feel his rage coming off of him. When you saw him this angry when you both were alive, it usually meant some people were going to lose their heads. It was a rare sight now to see him almost shaking in rage.

It was all the warning you needed.

Hades looked up from your father and smiled.

It wasn't a kind one.

"Lord Hades, thank you for welcoming me to your home." You glanced over to Achilles, "Father."

You hoped he heard the unspoken words. His blue eyes met your and you almost frowned at the guilt you saw there.

"Now, Achilles, will you explain the situation to your son or shall I?" Hades asked, sounding pleased with himself.

You kept your face blank, not giving away the worries you felt. Achilles took a deep breath before turning to you.

"Lord Hades wants us to make a decision. To keep Patroclus in Elysium, I will be 'retiring' and you will have my current job."

"Or?" You asked. Achilles's mouth tightens, "Or Patroclus will be kicked out of Elysium along with you, and I will not be allowed again to have any contact."

So no decisions, just threats. What did Achilles do to make Lord Hades change the deal?

You looked at Achilles then to Lord Hades. "It would be an honor to serve the house, Lord Hades but may I make a request?"

"Oh? What request is that?" Hades glowered at you but you kept your blank face even if you wanted to personally slam your spear between his eyes.

"My father, Achilles will have his retirement in Elysium along with my other father, Patroclus." You paused, "And the retirement is permanent."

Achilles whipped his head and hissed, "Lad, what do you think you're doing? That was already part of the deal, don't waste it."

"Done." Hades said, "lucky for you, Achilles. Y/N is more like Patroclus, he is able to actually think ahead. You didn't even ask where I was sending you for your retirement. You are both dismissed."

Achilles opened his mouth to argue but you placed a hand on his shoulder to stop him. He glared at you but kept his mouth shut.

"Of course, thank you, lord Hades." You tugged your father to follow you out. As you followed your father down the hallways, you looked over to him.

"Pa is going to be furious." You told him mildly. Achilles just groaned.

You met Hypnos, the odd little creature that followed you around, on the first day of your duty. Even if the first hour was Hypnos just peeking around the corner.

"I've heard of you, even all the way down here." Hypnos told you when he finally found his courage. He was floating but you see the excitement in his body, if he was on his feets, he would be rocking on his heels.

With his curls and his big golden eyes, he reminded you of those too pretty boys that rich politicians would bring along to watch fights while leaving the wives at home.

He leaned forward, his hand resting under his chin. His golden eyes watching your face with a curious look.

"Y/N, the Greek hero who took out monsters in a single strike, was able to hold off Ares and is the son of Achilles and Patroclus. Both great warriors in their own right." He smiled. "Is it true by the way?"

For a moment, all you saw was Ares' mad eyes staring down at you and the taste of blood in your mouth. Everything else had faded away, the sand and screaming of dying men echoed and all you knew is blood and blood and blood and blood -

“Y/N?” Hypnos’ voice, confused and almost too soft, pulled you out.

"Yes. I fought him.” And you said nothing else and stared at the wall. You didn’t realize the memories had taken you for a trip. Normally, only your fathers' voices were able to pull you back.

"You must tell me how!" He filled in your vision, his eyes wide and hopeful.

“No.” You said bluntly. "I'm busy." And you're too attractive for someone so irritating, you thought.

“But-“ Hypnos pouted and you had made yourself look away before you got caught staring at his mouth.

"Hypnos, don't bother him. It is still his first day." Prince Zagreus spoke from behind Hypnos.

Hypnos spun away from you and floated around Zagreus. "Oooh, so how did you die this time? Did a chariot run you over again?"

Zagreus gave a strained smile in greeting. "Forgive Hypnos, I think he forgot his manners when he heard you were joining us in the house."

You shook your head, "It's perfectly fine, your highness." You stared at the prince, the whole reason you were even here was because he looped your father into helping with his runaway attempts.

Zagreus nodded, his face polite but nervous. "Achilles told me I should train with you. That you are actually better at fighting than he is."

"Only in hand to hand combat, otherwise, if you give my father a spear he would win every time." You told him, trying to push away the memories but you could already smell the sharp tang of blood.

"He fought a tribe of centaurs when he was a mere child, Zagreus and he won!" Hypnos gushed, "And he took down Ares!"

You shook your head slightly and the smell of blood went away. Hypnos did it again.

How odd.

Hypnos used Zagreus' head as an armrest much to the latter's displeasure. Zagreus shook him off as he asked, "You killed Ares?"

"No, just knock him out long enough to let my men escape." You left it at that. Ares was more monster than god, and you would rather not revisit those nightmares.

"Zagreus if you like, I can train you later. It would be interesting to see how different our training might be." You said, hoping they would take the hint.

Zagreus nodded, "Of course, I will come find you later."

Zagreus moved to leave but upon seeing that Hypnos wasn't going to leave, grabbed Hypnos' by his cape and pulled him away.

"Come on, Hypnos. I think you do even less work than I do, and I don't even work anymore." Zagreus said pleasantly but an undercurrent of a warning.

You didn't hear Hypnos' response beyond an offended gasp.

You shook your head, no wonder Achilles only wanted quiet when he came to see you and Patroclus.

Of course when it was time for Zagreus' training with you, Hypnos followed along. You thought about kicking him out but knew he would sneak back in later. You know because this wasn't the first time you trained Zagreus and nothing else seemed to work.

Also for some reason, this god ended up being a grounding point for you. You didn't want to admit it but it made being in the house bearable and not a daily fight to stay in the presence. Not that you needed his help.

You pointed toward Zagreus to the middle of the room and turned to Hypnos who beamed up at you. "You. Corner. If I hear one peek from you…" You warned.

Hypnos held his hands and floated silently to the corner. You ignored how Hypnos' eyes followed you around the room. Hypnos wasn't the first fan boy you had and as long you don't feed the attention seeking, he will get bored sooner or later.

Zagreus was a good student. Mostly. But you could tell your father was more careful with him than he was with you.

You shook your head and held up an open hand, "Hit me again."

Zagreus swung a fist into your hand, only to hit the side of your palm. "Alright, step back."

You crossed your arms, "You need to be more intentional in your hits. You're creating more work for yourself. And you won't always have that sword on you."

Zagreus frowned, "I'm fighting monsters down there, not humans. If I don't have a weapon, they're not going down."

"Like I said you won't always have a weapon in you. Lord Hades took away my father, and that was your best tool. What are you going to do if he takes away your weapons and you can't get them back?"

You raised a brow and asked "Are you going to stay down here and obey like a good little boy?"

And you could tell you stuck a nerve at the scowl Zagreus gave you. Hypnos made a mocking sound and Zagreus whipped his head around to glare at Hypnos.

You mentally sighed, your father got soft over the years. Just for arguing back, Achilles would have You running laps from sunup to sundown while carrying bags of feed.

"Here, let's wrap up with a quick brush up for your next lesson." You said, not bothering to comfort him. The sooner you can break Zagreus out of your father's soft training, the better. "Do you know all the weak points of a body?"

Before Zagreus could respond, Hypnos butted in. "Oooh, I do! Eyes and groin!"

You took a breath when suddenly an idea came to you. You turned to the god, "Hypnos, since you're so eager, come on over here."

Hypnos looked at Zagreus who shrugged then back to you. "Okay." He dragged out the word with suspicion in his tone.

"Well?" You asked, keeping your tone friendly with a smile on your face. You waited until Hypnos got close enough to grab his shoulders and forced him to stand on his feet.

You grabbed his face with a hand, squishing his cheeks. He made a squeaky sound and you bit back a smirk. A little humiliation should be enough to get Hypnos to stay away and you can focus on what you came here to do. The only reason you bothered with helping Zagreus was because your father asked you too.

"Pay attention, I expect you to remember this for your next lesson." You told Zagreus.

"Hypnos got two right, but he forgot about the nose and honestly, almost anything you will ever fight will have a weakness here." You tapped Hypnos between his eyes which made him blinked. "Hit here or here if you can get a good upward swing ," you tapped the tip of Hypnos' nose, "With preciseness you won't need much force and you save energy as well."

Next You turned his head toward you and could see the start of a flush. Good, it was working.

You pointed to the area between the ear and jaw, "This won't kill but it will make your opponent dizzy and that could buy the second you need to finish them."

You went on listing other parts of the body for Zagreus and Hypnos obediently went along with it. Moving his arm and lifting a leg up.

"And lastly, the groin like Hypnos said earlier but I doubt I need to go in depth about that area." You finished as you let Hypnos go.

"Got it?" You asked.

"Yes, sir." Zagreus smirked at his friend's misfortune.

`Hypnos just stayed silent, flushed to his hairline.

You were sure you wouldn't see Hypnos for a while but the little god surprised you. Just a day after the training, he seeked you out.

"Achilles didn't teach you how to fight, did he?" Hypnos asked. His dark circles were deeper than normal and you got the feeling he didn't get much rest.

"What makes you say that?" You asked, actually curious about Hypnos' thought process.

"I mean, you're unusually strong and you seem to have, let's say, a more ruthless fighting style than your father does. Not bad, mind you, just different." Hypnos shrugged, "I've seen him train Zagreus. And it's just different."

You thought about bushing him off, but something about how tired he looked made you speak up. "You're right. Kinda. He wasn't my first teacher. I was sold as a child for a fighting ring. And they usually don't let the loser live." You tighten your hold the spear, to ward off the memories.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I couldn't imagine." Hypnos said. "I didn't mean to bring up any bad memories."

You blinked several times, "You didn't."

But the look on Hypnos' face told you he didn't believe you.

Screaming. Inhuman mad screaming.

Patroclus' body broken on the ground and Achilles stared past You even as you tried to talk to him.

You felt like you lost both of your fathers as you trailed behind Achilles on his warpath.

Hands wet with blood and you think you should be screaming too but Patroclus was broken and gone and the screaming never stopped-

"Y/N. Hey, Y/N." Hypnos stood in front of you, his big golden eyes concerned. For a moment, you weren't standing in the East wing with Hypnos.

But a burning city and people running and crying. And Hypnos stood in the middle of it.

What was the little god doing here?

“Y/N!”

You blinked and you were back in the east wing, no smoke or no fire or crying followed.

“Hypnos?” You realized you had a tight grip on Hypnos’ arm as if you wanted to yank him out of the memories.

You let go. “I-i my apologies, Hypnos. I-“

“Wowie, that must have been a bad one huh?” Hypnos didn’t look upset and you frowned at him. “Are you not…?” You trailed off, not sure what to say.

“No.” Hypnos said softly. “I know the story about how you… Died and what happened to your head.” Hypnos waved a hand toward his own head, trying to make his point clear. “I guess what I’m saying is no, I’m not upset or mad or whatever. I just wanna know if you’re okay.”

You said nothing for several moments, looking at Hypnos’s kind face and realized to your great shame exactly how little you understood Hypnos and his intentions.

“Yes, thank you.” You told him softly.

You tapped your foot as you waited on Zagreus to show up. You have been in the house for several months now and Zagreus didn't always show up for training especially since he was getting closer to the surface.

Hypnos floated lazily around the room, waiting for you to look away so he could touch one of the weapons. Normally Skully was here to chase him off but apparently not even Skully wanted to show up.

After a few more minutes and warning Hypnos off on touching the spear, you got tired of waiting for Zagreus.

"Come on, Hypnos I think his highness must be on one of his attempts." You told him.

"Wait, wait or you could train me!" Hypnos circled you. He gave you the puppy dog eyes and you shook your head.

"Please. I've been so good when you're training Zagreus! Just one time." Hypnos begged.

And of course, you gave in.

"Alright. On your feet."

You chuckled at Hypnos' cheering.

Hypnos was… You didn't know what he was. After the day of failed attempts of embarrassment, Hypnos stuck around. He would follow you around like a lost puppy whenever he could.

You knew he was lonely, quietly trying to repair the broken bonds with his family. That he had near encyclopedia knowledge about Greek Heroes and monsters, even about your own fathers'. That he loved sweets but would eat raw honey every time if given the chance.

And the fact that just like your fathers, he was able to pull you back into the now.

He was...

Friend, you think firmly, he had become a friend.

“Can I ask you something? Like super personal?” Hypnos said out of the blue one day. You raised an eyebrow, “I have never known a personal question to stop you before but sure, you can ask me.”

“Why haven’t you drunk from the river Lethe? Wouldn’t it help?” Hypnos said, biting a thumbnail.

Oh. No wonder he was nervous.

“I don’t want to forget. I need to remember as much as I can.” You told him gently. Hypnos tilted his head, confusion on his face.

“If I forget, I won’t be the same person. You can’t forget without losing a part of yourself and I want to keep all of me. The bad and good.” You tried to explain, feeling like you sound like a cheesy philosopher.

“Oh. I think I get it.” Hypnos said. His smile was small but warm. Blood and darkness, you had gotten soft. You couldn’t stop the bust of fondness that your chest and you already looked like a fool so why not go farther?

“Like you, I wouldn’t want to forget you, Hypnos.” You said, a blush forming on your cheeks.

Hypnos blinked as if he didn’t understand what you just said but you saw a blush form on his own cheeks.

“I wouldn’t want to forget you too, Y/N.”

Part two

#hypnos x reader #hades hypnos #requests

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yeolmae-s · 3 years

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a chanbaek analysis from a veteran exo-l (part 2)

CLICK HERE TO READ PART ONE

Writing this was a bit harder in comparison to the first part, because I wanted to organize things into a neat timeline, but I ended up not having enough patience for it lol specially because both of ChanBaek's main archive blogs seem to have deleted their pages documenting each date of EXO's early years. Therefore I apologize in advance if this part is a bit more messy. Also, please don't forget that all of this is my opinion and I don't mean for any of it to be taken as truth!

I kind of want to jump from MAMA era directly into Wolf era, since we don't really have a lot of cover regarding their debut phase besides Chanyeol's overeagerness and Baekhyun's awkwardness towards it, so to sum it up, I felt as if Chanyeol was more confident and consistent on what he thought an idol should act like, while Baekhyun (sweet, innocent Baekhyun who was a trainee for less than a year!) was still unsure on how to act on camera.

On the few early variety shows/interviews EXO appeared on, the members always pointed out how funny Baekhyun was, how good he'd be at variety and at doing imitations, but he never really lived up to all the praise on camera, although off of it, he most likely was as good as his members claimed.

He was a bit stiff on his early days in comparison to what we see today, and that's normal, I guess, since he debuted really quickly, but when you compare him to Chanyeol the contrast is so interesting, because the latter was able to latch on to a persona as soon as the public gave him one, while to me, Baekhyun was still doubtful regarding what to put on display. In the end, deep inside, Baekhyun is a private person, and was even more so when he wasn't confident enough to talk to fans like he does today.

Once again, I’m sorry for not being able to upload the gifs directly into the post, so I’ll just link them like I did on my last one.

This is another one of the moments where Baek appears to tell Chanyeol to just. Hold on for a bit.

There's another one similar to this where Chanyeol does the same thing (try to whisper on Baekhyun's ear) and Baekhyun fake laughs and stares at a fan's camera right after. Then, his expression just goes blank. It's really interesting to watch because you can just see the gears spinning on Chanyeol's brain as he stares at Baekhyun for a second and clearly thinks alright, fanservice time, and leans in to whisper something: it happens so fast you just know it wasn't genuine whispering, just a playful interaction for the fans, and Baekhyun's direct stare to the camera as soon as it happens just confirms this for me.

1: Chanyeol spots his target.

2: He’s really thinking this through.

3: Baek's in a perfect position for whispering-time, so he leans in and does his thing.

4: Baekhyun laughs.

5: And stares directly at a fan's camera.

6: Immediately regrets his life choices. Chanyeol looks pleased.

It's actually better to watch the whole thing, so I'll leave it here. (starts on 0:28!)

(Random note: on this date EXO perfomed a cover of H.O.T's We Are The Future, and I feel like a lot of new EXO-Ls have not seem it and I adore this performance, so I'll link it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r1-z4s3fdgo)

Now let's jump on to Wolf era, shall we?

Wolf era

I can't help but laugh when I think about how wild 2013 was for both EXO and EXO-Ls. They had their first hit song (which was Growl, not Wolf) the fandom grew considerably, shippers where just discovering the cute ISAC moments between "BaekYeol" and "HunHan"... Or at least that's how everyone remembers most of what happened during that year.

Are we forgetting the rumoured ChanBaek fight?

Considering their past interactions on airports, SMTOWN concerts, ISAC and other events, ChanBaek was now widely known to be close to each other. Baekhyun even said Chanyeol was the one who made him open up, and both of them mentioned feeling this "connection" to each other as soon as they met (although jokingly).

After Mama, the fandom was content-less for a considerable period of time, and what most people did was sharing around old performances and repeat overused memes. I think that in every fandom there is a period where fans establish their main inside jokes and basically just get together to create a collective line of thought for perceiving their idols. That being said, one of the most well established facts in the fandom was that Chanyeol and Baekhyun were close. That was a fact.But then Wolf came, and they suddenly were not.

This gif is a good example of how awkward their interactions were. Not even my delusional shipping brain in 2013 was able to come up with an explanation for it.

They simply did not acknowledge each other at all, and Chanyeol appeared to be closer to Kyungsoo (I think Baekhyun interacted a lot with Tao, but that may have been during the Growl era, not Wolf. As I said before, I'm a Chanyeol stan guys, sorry lmao).

Point is, these two boys who seemed to be best friends suddenly were clearly distant from one another.

What added fuel to the fire of the rumours was their appearance on Sukira, a radio show, where Sehun cried because the members sometimes had fights. Here's a fanacc:

[130530] EXO at Sukira

Sehun cried because the members sometimes fight.

Sehun: "Let's be loyal to each other, don't fight, and go until the end"

D.O: "We've been under a lot of stress lately because of the comeback, so I wish we won't fight in the future and do our best"

Here's a video cut of this part of their interview.

I think this ask on lets-talk-baekyeol, a popular ChanBaek analysis blog from back in the day, shows how curious a lot of fans were.

What happened back then?

There's really no answer for that. On my opinion, not even Chanyeol or Baekhyun could give us a concrete answer on it, because I don't think an actual fight happened. For me, it was most likely a personality clash, a disagreement that probably wasn't even voiced out loud, just both of them noticing how uncomfortable things got, if Baekhyun's reactions to Chanyeol's fanservice is any indication. I somehow doubt there was a specific episode that created this distance between them, specially because during Growl, they went back to being friends, although not as touchy on camera as before, as if one of them had established their limits (oh, I wonder who!), but I still have this feeling that all of this was unspoken, because unspoken things seem to be a pattern on ChanBaek's relationship (something I'll touch on later, hopefully).

But it was during Growl era that I noticed something else about Baekhyun.

Wolf era

EXO'S Showtime was a such a gift. I recommend reading lets-talk-baekyeol's blog for this. I don't really agree with everything they say they do present a lot of relevant points. I may repeat them here, since I noticed them myself as well, but credits for them nonetheless.

I remember finding the lack of ChanBaek interactions during the episodes really dissappointing, but considering the Wolf Era drought, this was better than nothing.

My 13 year old self was devastated when Baekhyun appeared so quiet during Chanyeol's birthday episode, and during a recent rewatch of it, I think realized why.

Baekhyun doesn't like superficial things. It's not that Chanyeol is insincere, but he's just better than Baekhyun is at handling people pleasing, even when he doesn't really mean what's he saying/doing. The Chanyeol birthday episode was heavily centered on Chanyeol's random admiration for Kai, which I think we can all agree that it was a little bit scripted or a really spur of the moment thing that they just ran along with and oh man. Baekhyun did not want to be part of it.

During ChanKai's hug, this is what he looked like on the background, and the poor boy even refused to eat cake. He's just in the back, which is weird, because he's such a talkative person and Chanyeol is one of his closest friends. The only moment where he seems to be genuinely comfortable is when Chanyeol blows the candle and it's really cute. To me, it seems that he was kind of embarrassed to witness so much acting from everyone else and was unable to participate because he struggles with things like this, but the moment Chanyeol blows his candles to comemorate his birthday seems sincere enough for him to fondly smile.

This ties in so well with everything from Mama Era. He's just unable to keep acting/people pleasing on the same easy way that Chanyeol does, but this time he's not as nervous about it as he was on his earlier-early days, where he probably felt pressured to actually do stuff. Now he just doesn't do **it, he just doesn't do something that he dislikes doing, and that sadly creates a distance between them on camera and probably on a deeper level in their relationship as well, because both are just realizing how different their perceptions over their jobs is.

There's also this moment that the mods on lets-talk-baekyeol pointed out.

On the Christmas episode, when the members leave the couch to go get their presents, Chanyeol stays seated while Baekhyun gets up to fetch his. This is the sitting arrangement before (almost) everyone got up:

But when Baekhyun comes back, there's free space next to Chanyeol, however he's hesitant to sit by his side. He actually hesitates and doesn't sit down. Jongdae even gives him a little push right after.

Baek just seems hesitant to do things on camera, to interact with Chanyeol in front of an audience. For this moment, I feel like he's afraid to sit next to Chanyeol and end up having to over act. It's not that Chanyeol himself makes him uncomfortable, but the image of the friendship that they ended up creating for fans demands a lot from him.

And when I say hesitant to do things on camera, I really do mean it, because when Baekhyun thinks he is not being recorded/seen, here's what he does:

Here and here.

Their relationship clearly changed, and I think the reason for it is actually simple: both of them were under the impression that they were compatible with each other when they actually were not. Their personalities are extremely different, even if the way they present themselves is sometimes similar. Wolf and Growl era was our way, as fans, of watching them navigate around each other and finding out how their relationship was supposed to work.

And you know what's nice about that? The members watched all of it unfold. Their reactions to some of ChanBaek's interaction is a gold mine when it comes to analyzing them, because they clearly know, just as we do, that their relationship is kind of complicated. But I want to talk about it on the next part.

I am sorry for cutting this off again! I don't know if the next part is going to be the last, because after Growl there's Overdose and we all know what happened on 2014 [coughs] dating scandal [coughs] god help me I don't want to talk about it [coughs] so there's a lot to uncover and I need time to organize stuff.

Thank you for reading!

#chanbaek #baekyeol #baekhyun #chanyeol #park chanyeol #byun baekhyun #exo #kpop

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nemo-tigger · 3 years

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Stardust Crusaders vs Swing (Platonic Oldseph x reader technically?)

Okay so this will be my first post that I’ve ever made but I’m on a complete brainrot of Oldseph dancing with reader to some electro swing songs such as Bella Ciao by Klischée (especially since Suzi Q is Italian) on a night out with everyone at a bar or a club once they defeated DIO and they can let go. I’ve never done anything like this before so please tell me if my writing is shit and how I can improve. For this scenario I say fuck the cannon: everyone lived- This is long so I’m sorry in advance, I just had this so well thought out and might’ve waffled a bit ^^||

And now to the brainrot!

Word count: 2.7k

Music blaring and light frantically flashing through the widows of the busy street consisting of mostly clubs, bars and the occasional restaurant, the group made there way towards the club as the moon sat directly above their heads. Joseph and Polnareff up in front with Avdol following quietly between the two but a bit behind, enjoying listening to both rave on about whatever piqued their interest at the current moment. Jotaro and Kakyoin and were a few steps behind the former three but not too far away that they’d lose them, Kakyoin talking with Jotaro mainly listening and adding in noises of acknowledgement to reassure Kakyoin that yes he actually is listening to him and taking in what he is saying.

And you? Well you were walking just behind the duo with Iggy at your side to keep you company. Keeping with those who were your age too meant you would occasionally add a small comment or two into Kak’s seemingly one sided conversation but most of the time you would either walk in silence or talk to Iggy, him barking in return as if to try and have a proper conversation despite not physically being able to.

You were all heading towards a club that Joseph was adamant on taking you all to with the intent of letting go over a few drinks and a bit of dancing if anyone had the balls and/or skill to do so. It would be a nice way to let go after everything that happened at Egypt now that there wasn’t anyone threatening the group’s or Holy’s life. It was needed, alright? He also thought it would be a good introduction to the “fun side of adulthood” for both Kakyoin and Jotaro despite his grandson already smoking and drinking at the age of 17 (with Star Plat’s help of course) but a hopefully fun night out for all of them nonetheless. A night to let go, forget and get absolutely hammered all on the Speedwagon Foundation’s money. Who knows, maybe they’ll learn a bit about themselves and each other while out? It’ll surely be a night to remember for years to come - that is if they can remember what happened by the time the night is over.

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Deep within another ‘conversation’ with Iggy meant that you hadn’t realised that everyone had stopped walking down the semi-bustling path and consequently bumped into the back of Kakyoin with a small ‘oof’ and an apology.

“Don’t worry [Y/N], according to Mr. Joestar we’re here though so I think you’re gonna have to end your conversation with Iggy.” Kakyoin stated with a light hearted chuckle at the fact you were in such a deep conversation with a dog rather than them.

Joseph called to get everyone’s attention, discussing an unofficial set of rules that should be followed while inside to avoid any needless attention, panic and fights; the latter bit directed more towards his grandson than anyone else with a harsh eye. Very clearly old habits and worries are still present and gnawing at the back of everyone’s minds so sticking together was a main priority or at least sticking where you all could see each other in case something were to happen to one of you but other than that you were free to do what you wished so long as at least 1 other person knew what was going on. As Iggy wasn’t going to be able to enter for obvious reasons he decided he was going to go on a wander throughout the streets to bide his time while you all were inside. You agreed on a hotel to meet him back at within a few hours and with that you all entered the establishment.

It was busy to say the least. The bar was crowded with people ordering drinks, dancefloor swarmed with people dancing more like stumbling in some cases amongst strangers and friends alike without a care in the world, letting go of the week’s stresses caused by a multitude of things and drowning out the impending responsibility and hangover that would be hindering them by morning. Bright disco lights bounced off the walls and floors of the hall and the bass from the near deafening music passed through your body as if you were a ghost. The feeling was so foreign and new to you but you couldn’t wait to experience the night ahead of you, not worrying too much about the consequences later and went over to find an empty table while Joseph took drink orders and went to go buy them. You decided to take a seat next to Avdol and leave an empty seat next to you which the missing JoJo would later come along to take, sparking up a conversation with the man about the atmosphere the room had after making bets with Polnareff about who could drink more and who you thought would get drunk the quickest.

“It’s been a while since we’ve last had the opportunity to relax as much as this without having to worry about another stand attack, hasn’t it?” The man turned to you with a soft smile, speaking in a raised voice so that you could hear him over the music.

“Yeah it has been, honestly this feels too good to be true and I’m half expecting something to go horribly wrong tonight!” You replied with a wary laugh, looking over to Pol and Kak sat around and bugging a mildly pissed off looking Jotaro with his cap pulled down over his eyes to attempt to look as disinterested as possible for now until his grandfather comes back with the beer he ordered.

Avdol responded with a hearty laugh and a wave of his hand “I wouldn’t think too much of it [Y/N], we’re safe now so let’s have a bit of fun and let go for the night!”

As soon as he’d finished his sentence, the missing member had returned with everyone’s drinks in hand: beer for him, Avdol and Jotaro, wine for Polnareff, a cherry flavoured cocktail for Kakyoin to get started on and [F/D] for yourself. He took the last available set next to you and started recounting memories from when he was younger at Polnareff’s request, ones about going for nights out like this while in England as well as in New York once he married Suzi Q and returned to the others after fully healing from his fight with Kars. The topic then delved into music and what would be played at the clubs as well as popular dances for the time. This took your interest and you zoned in on the conversation, both you and Avdol eliciting to forget the current conversation the both of you were having previously. Swing and Jive were quickly becoming popular as Joseph was growing up, hitting it’s peak in the 1940′s in America and were dances that everyone and their mothers were learning and picking up. Recounting the many occasions that him and Suzi would be dancing to the early hours of the morning to swing and being scolded by Lisa Lisa the next morning for being passed out on the couch. At that point you could see the youth appear back in his eyes, remembering as if he were back in his early 20′s with such a sincere twinkle that struck a fondness for the music and dance in your own heart. You yourself used to dance swing, your parents teaching you from a young age as a way to tire you out before bed and as you grew older it changed from a childish little jig with your parents to having the footwork down to a T, adapting and changing the speed and intensity to match the beat of the song and being whisked away into your own little world from being lost in the rhythm of the music. “If only I could dance to it once more...” he mused to himself but you managed to just work it out over the music’s heavy base threatening your eardrums.

With a sneaky little idea in mind you alerted Avdol that you were going to go make a song request but didn’t delve into your plan exactly, telling him to cover for you if anyone asked where you went by saying that you went to the bathroom. As observant as ever though he knew what you were doing and chuckled to himself as to what is going to transpire very soon. From there you went to the DJ at the club and put in a request for swing to be played after a couple of other songs as to not make your plan obvious and to also give Joseph a rest before a lot of his energy gets exerted soon.

You return to the table as if nothing had happened and the conversations fired up again like before except now everyone has at least 2 drinks in their system and are now feeling the buzz. Some more than others at least- For now you just have to wait for the song to come along so you bide your time by watching the drinking contest between Jotaro and Joseph for who can drink their beer quicker and then encouraging Kakyoin to down his latest drink in one go. At least I’m not going to be the one to clean up any possible mess later on you ponder to yourself as said red head then chokes on the drink as the alcohol burns his throat and makes him cough.

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It was approaching the end of the latest song and you grinned to yourself, Jotaro picking up on it with a confused glance and a quick “Oi, [Y/N], what’s that look on your face for?” You only shake your head at him, smile growing wider and looking at Joseph as the song ends. Said man notices as well and asks the same question as Jotaro. Standing up just as the song begins, you hold out your hand to Joseph with a smirk and say “you still got your dance moves, old man?”

The beat hit his soul, allowing what youth he was trying to hold onto after all these years to be released from it’s depths and for the first time in years: Joseph truly felt young again. He offered you a smile to reflect your own and almost jumped out of his seat, startling the other men present at the table as well as yourself before he dragged you off to the middle of the floor. Jotaro, Kakyoin, Avdol and Polnareff all turned to face the two of you getting ready to start dancing as if no one else was in the room. Such a scene caused other surrounding tables to grow curious and watch as the both of you prepare for what is about to transpire.

‘Questa mattina, mi son svegliata. Oh bella ciao, bella ciao, bella ciao, ciao, ciao.’

The lyrics started up as you and Joseph faced each other, bouncing on the balls of your feet as a warm up as you waited for the beat of the song to really kick in.

‘Questa mattina, mi son svegliata E ho trovato l'invasor’

Once it did, the both of you sprung into your dances. Distinct yet similar at the same time you followed the rhythm of the song as well as each other, you spinning around Joseph on occasion and the latter man taking a hold of your hand in a gentle but controlled grip to spin you on the spot and use the momentum to lift you on occasion. There was no outlandish spins across the old man’s body, he is almost 70 remember, but the display you and him put on was something to truly behold. It was obvious that both of you have been dancing to swing for many years, how easily you could cross your feet as you jived and shuffled without tripping up was testament to this and the Charleston making a small appearance here and there throughout.

Back at the table it’d be quite fair to say they were all shocked though some not as expressive as others. Jotaro’s stare was intense, his eyes never breaking away from the way you and his grandfather danced around each other and together too. Although he tried his hardest to remain as stone faced as he normally would be, he couldn’t stop the smallest of smiles from appearing on his face as he watched you both. He could tell that his old man had grown to really appreciate your company, might even go as far to say that he could tell Joseph saw you as his own child at times, and that brought him a lot more reassurance than he would ever like to openly admit. Someone else would be looking out for the old man as well as himself as he grew older.

Kakyoin and Polnareff? Openly surprised. One more so than the other. While Kak’s eyes were wide, Polnareff’s jaw looked like it was about to hit the floor. They looked on in admiration at the skill, speed and dedication at which you and your unofficial ‘partner’ danced at. So much energy radiated from the dancefloor and it became almost as intoxicating at the alcohol currently raging through their systems and they started cheering you on. Standing from their seats and beginning to clap to the music even if they had no clue what the lyrics were saying, it caused other spectators around them to join in also and cause more of a ruckus in the club.

Avdol sat at his seat and smiled with a warm fondness as he watched the both of you dance, eventually joining in with Kakyoin and Polnareff with the claps and cheers on especially good and difficult looking moves. He felt as if he was watching two old spirits being rejoiced in different bodies from which they once resided in and basked in the pure happiness that exuded from Joseph and yourself.

The innocent laughter that left you both as you danced made you feel as if nothing mattered and everything was right with the world. There was no trip to Egypt, there was no enemy Stand threats and there was no evidence of trauma to be seen. You danced like there was no tomorrow and like nothing could hurt you.

Free. You finally felt free.

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As the song came to a close, Joseph was sweating as if he’d ran full tilt through the desert and you were panting like a dog without any water. It felt invigorating to let all your stress leave your body through such a dance and you could tell that it worked wonders not only for you but for the rest of the Crusaders as well. The cheers of the people surrounding you, friends and strangers alike made you turn your head and start laughing like a madman at their reactions. Silent and rambunctious admiration followed as you returned to your table, music returning to whatever pop songs were the most popular at the current time with Joseph kicking off when it isn’t The Beatles playing .

“[Y/N]! Please teach me how to dance like this, you were amazing mon ami!” Polnareff pleaded with you as soon as you took your seat back at the table.

“Sorry Pol but not tonight, I’m beat after that. It takes so much energy to dance to swing.” You replied with a nervous chuckle, secretly hoping the Frenchman might forget his request after a few more drinks and a bad enough hangover the next morning. With a sigh and his head now on the table, Kakyoin and Avdol sparked a new conversation about your affinity to swing and how you became such a skilled dancer at such a young age.

Joseph had turned to Jotaro to poke fun at the tiny smile his grandson had on his face which very quickly dropped once the remark was made, his regular stone face borderline scowl sat heavy on his face but the happiness he felt from watching his grandfather feel so young again still remained in his heart to tell his mother about later.

Laughter erupted from the table yet again as all the conversations combined into one and another round of drinks was served up by Polnareff to get the night moving even quicker for you all. Hopefully at least one member of the group could remember what they saw but if not? Well I don’t think you’d mind giving them another show as a refresher when you’re all sober, would you?

#stardust crusaders #jojos bizzare adventure stardust crusaders #jjba #jjba part 3 #joseph x reader #oldseph #jjba joseph #jotaro #jjba jotaro #avdol #jjba avdol #polnareff #jjba polnareff #kakyoin #jjba kakyoin

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kanmom51 · 3 years

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JM JK timeline.- my observations how they grew over the years

2017 - Part 4

Disclaimer: these are my own opinions and conclusions. Feel free to disagree, but hate or aggression will be unacceptable.

16-17 November 2017 BTS interviews in the US. JM sneezes and JK thinks it’s so adorable.

18 November 2017?

Can’t seem to find the original interview, but I think it was done same day as the BTS Tease 2017 American Music Awards Performance, E! Red Carpet & Award Shows interview.

This is where we find out that JK loves to take photos of sky and JM (people)…

JK doesn’t point a finger at JM, just signs with his hand in JM’s direction. But RM automatically looking at JM as JK signs in that direction makes things pretty clear as to JK’s meaning, as if we didn’t know...

19 November 2017 – KRBE AMA’s backstage interview – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3fwSuGBU5R4 . Band members asked who’s the best with the ladies. JK turns towards RM and asks: “V”?, but RM and V point to JK, who is all flustered. JM smiling uncomfortably. It was actually a heart breaking moment for me.

19 November 2017 AMA’s interview – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SfHZYgNgHVU . JK playing with JM’s jacket. JM hints for him to stop, but JK keeps doing it, so JM finally kind of snaps at him to stop but JK needs to continue to touch JM. JM softens up after and pulls JK forward to talk.

19 Nov 2017 Zach Sang backstage AMA interview - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=STLDAdhuLzc .

Not so big, but still an honourable mention from me. At the start of the interview JM, who is standing directly behind Hobi (V is standing behind JK), had one hand on Hobi’s shoulder and another hand on JK’s shoulder. Having a hand on JK is not because he is closest to him. Not the obvious solution to place his hands in that situation. That would be two hands on Hobi, just like later on in the interview V places both his hands on JK’s shoulders. It was just something I noticed and found interesting.

JM and JK are clearly in love and attracted to each other. JM is also JK’s anchor, his calming waters. But they are also super professional, always were.

So why do we get so much content during these interviews? I mean, isn’t it something they are trying to hide, and if they were professional why can’t they keep their hands to themselves?

We need to remember that the boys have to sit or stand for hours upon hours on end doing interview after interview, like an interview conveyor belt. They are tired, worn out, so much so, that at some point their guard is let down. They will turn to each other for comfort or support or will say or do something impulsive, that they otherwise wouldn’t have done. That’s when we usually get to enjoy our famous interview Jikook moments.

20 November 2017 BTS post AMA’s night party Vlive - https://www.vlive.tv/video/49001 .

Remember tipsy JK? Tipsy JK is the best, right?

The way he behaves in this Vlive you would think he is outright drunk.

Now, I know that towards the end of the live, when the members want to make a toast, JK does mention he cannot drink in the US, but if he really wasn’t drinking, why do the other members call him ‘loose’? Maybe he had a sip or two or three or more off camera???

Drunk on alcohol or drunk on adrenaline, whatever it is, he lacks inhibition.

He is constantly looking to JM. The members start talking about how they felt during the performance. And here ‘happy’ JK flies into action. He says “I wasn’t that nervous. Do you know why?”

JM asks why, and J-hope grabs JM’s shoulder, telling him “don’t ask him”, knowing full well this isn’t something we should be hearing from a JK lacking inhibitions.

JM turns to the camera smiling and tells us: “let’s say that he wasn’t nervous at all”, to be followed by Suga telling JK: “you’re too loosened”, and RM saying: “he lacks sincerity”.

Drunk or not, alcohol or adrenaline, it doesn’t really matter. Either way, the members are trying to silence him, afraid of what he might say.

At this point they try to move on, only that JK hasn’t finished, and he goes right back to not being nervous. He says: “the reason I wasn’t nervous was…”, looking JM in the eye and puts his hand on JM’s shoulder. He leans back and JM claps his hands and says: “I see”, and starts laughing.

At this point you see JK realises he literally put his foot in it, lowers his head and JM pulls his T-shirt laughing.

So, then JK tries to fix it, saying “because of Army”. Yeah JK, we believe you. You seem to be really sincere, I mean, your band mates are really buying it too…

Tipsy-like JK, I love him.

21-24 November 2017. I said I wouldn’t do it. I promised I wouldn’t do it. I just couldn’t help myself. Please accept my apologies in advance, but I just couldn’t leave these photos JM uploaded to Twitter out. I mean, how could I leave out JM’s uploading JK photographs of ‘Sky’ & ‘People’??? That just wouldn’t be right.

Run BTS episode 28, released end November 2017 – JM dressing up JK with his style of clothing. The members reactions when JM threw the rose and it fell behind JK. JK and JM were pretty pleased. JK loved modelling JM’s clothes, also loved making JM laugh by imitating him as a model.

2 December 2017 MMA’s. Pulling JK to the front to talk when receiving the award, JM moving from Hobi’s side to stand by JK. The closeness, the looks. Walking off stage side by side.

Same day as the very famous clip, when JK sitting behind JM, and JM turns back to him, while JK is singing “I remember our first kiss, I close my eyes whenever I can and go to the farthest place”. Both being watched by Jin, who smirks, but when remembers there’s a camera, becomes serious again.

9 December 2017. JK & JM Vlive. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GA9VjPylgDA .

Someone please get the fire extinguisher, because JK’s heart is burning. The level of flirtatious behaviour, I might need the extinguisher for myself.

When showing the group photo fan JK says how Hobi looks attractive, only for JM to ask “what about me?” Of course JK agrees he is handsome too.

This is how those two behave when they are not alone in the room!! I mean… You just can’t put those two together for a live. If this is what happens when they are not alone, what would happen if they were alone in the room (NJ live 2019 Ahem)…

9-10 December 2017 Wings tour last concerts in Seoul. JK being bold.

What I left out:

This year is filled with so much content, I just couldn’t put it all in, so there a so many cute moments I have left out. Also, Twitter (ahem, some at least), some stage flirtation, including JK’s full attention on JM when speaking, not every hug or touch.

I now know that matching outfits has much significance in SK culture. I didn’t know that when I first had that gut feeling JM and JK were involved. As far as I am concerned, there is enough content even without addressing this subject, so this too I left out.

After JM and JK get back from their trip they seem even closer, if that was possible. They also seem a bit bolder. I mean GCFT people, if that is not boldness I don’t know what is.

I thought 2016 was a plentiful year? Well 2017 surpassed it by miles and miles. The amount of content with the two is enormous. So much so, that there is so much I did not add to my timeline, just because I felt it was too much already.

The abundance in content, to me, is a sign not only of the two getting closer, but also getting louder. Allowing themselves to be seen. This relative new freedom would probably be a result of not only the growth of the strength of their bond, but also, in my opinion, them ‘coming out’ to the group, and most probably, at least by the end of the year, to the most important members of their production team.

This allows them freedom to act more as themselves with the members and production team, while also relying on the latter to ‘hide’ what needs to be hidden, if necessary, and to protect them, sometimes even from themselves. Even if they didn’t all out ‘come out’ to the staff around them, well, by then I think they either more or less know what’s going on, or were turning a blind eye to it. Whichever is true, at the end of the day it didn’t matter. They are all bound by non-disclosure agreements, and would not dare to leak anything they might have seen.

I also believe that the boys, mostly, have a very good relationship with the staff, and as such, none of them would do anything that could potentially really hurt not only JK and JM, but the group as a whole.

JK and JM, by the end of 2017 are finding their groove. There is less pushing and pulling noticeable. They are madly in love and are finding their pace.

To be continued…

#Jungkook #Jimin #JK #JM #BTS #Jikook #Kookmin #Jikook timeline #Kookmin timeline #Jikook are real #Jikook love #JM JK timeline

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bmx3-lukanette-blog · 3 years

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“The Text Message”

Note: This is my first time in a long while attempting to write a fic, so I apologize for any mistakes I may have in this. I just couldn’t get the idea out of my head once I wrote my “Tikki, the Lukanette Shipper” dialogue. It just felt too short, so I wanted to expand it a little. (Do keep in mind I’m probably not going to write much. I prefer drawing, personally.)

Anyways, on to the fic~ ;P

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Today was just one of those days. Those of which Marinette was exhausted from everything going on in her life.

Chat Noir's advances. Lila's lies. Alya and the rest of her friends with their whole "Getting Adrienette Together" project. Normally, Tikki wouldn't have minded the latter, since it was to Marinette's benefit. However, it was beginning to feel hopeless. Or rather may as well have been hopeless since it first began.

Adrien never noticed any of her holder's advances, no matter how obvious she may have been. Tikki felt it was about time Marinette gave up on him. She knew how much it tormented Marinette knowing that her feelings would never be reciprocated.

It pained Tikki to see Marinette so upset. She knew exactly how the girl was. Friendly, clumsy, selfless, always there to help whenever possible... Whereas Ladybug was composed, confident, always thinking on her feet as to how to defeat whatever Akuma came her way. She was creative and used whatever she had at her disposal, it was what made Marinette special.

Therefore the kwami put it upon herself to help ease the girl's pain. And who better to go to than Luka? The sweetest boy who was always there for her partner, no matter what problems arose in the girl’s life.

She glanced over from her spot at the bedside table, to the dark haired girl curled up on her bed, trying to find a sign that she was alright. Upon further inspection, the kwami could make out the outline of dry tears on Marinette's cheeks. She could hear her holder's breathing becoming a bit more even, but not quite. Tikki thought she deserved rest after the day she's had, but not like this. Marinette deserved better than to cry herself to sleep most nights.

All of this was enough for Tikki. She couldn't stand for Mari to be this miserable any longer. And so she decided to make her way towards the girl's phone and text the only person who could assuage her feelings. Luka. He's always managed to be there for her when it mattered most, so Tikki had the utmost faith in him to do as he always did.

'I know in time she'll be thankful I did this.' Tikki thought to herself as she sent out a text to the guitarist.

For now though, she knew she and Marinette needed some rest. She'd done what she had to, and would deal with whatever consequences came her way in the morning.

_______

"Eeek!" Marinette shrieked, completely flustered at the contents on her phone. She couldn't remember how or when the message could have been sent out.

“Hey Luka. I haven’t exactly been feeling my best lately and was hoping maybe you’d like to join me at the bakery tomorrow morning? As friends! I mean it doesn’t have to be a date, unless you want it to be?”

She blinked repeatedly as she reread the text. She couldn’t believe she actually did that. Wasn’t she asleep at the time? Or perhaps Marinette was never fully asleep and just sent it out while she was half conscious? No… That didn’t sound like her at all.

The only other being in her room at that time was… Tikki.

“T-Tikki, what’s the meaning of this?” The flustered girl questioned her, all the while pointing to her cellphone.

“What? You needed a slight push in the right direction.” The ladybug kwami casually commented. “At least this one returns your feelings wholeheartedly.”

"Th-That's not the point!" She exclaimed towards her kwami. "You know fully well that I'm pursuing a different boy."

"Yeah… The wrong boy." Tikki responded. "I mean just because he lent you his umbrella that one day after school, because you forgot your own, doesn't warrant your crush on him. He would have done that for anyone."

"B-But he-" Marinette started, but couldn't continue due to Tikki's interruption.

"Was desperate for friends!" The kwami went on. "Still is by the way he acts. That's why he doesn't help you stand up to Lila. Why he lets her get away with all that she does… He doesn't even defend you to Chloe when she hurts your feelings! Is he really the type of guy that you want? Because the way I see it the blonde's not worth your time."

Marinette sighed. Trying to come up with something… anything to prove Tikki wrong. But how? She was right… the boy hadn't shown any romantic interest in her, no matter what she did.

"Tikki, look… I understand what you're trying to do, but… My heart chose him." Marinette started. "He doesn't see it yet… B-But Adrien…"

The ladybug kwami tuned out of whatever Marinette tried to argue. Honestly… She loved her holder, but was she serious about this? Marinette's so-called "love" for him was extremely unhealthy… And Tikki could see that every single minute of every day.

"Over Luka, the only guy who actually gives you the time of day? Who's always there when it matters? Who returns your feelings?" Tikki argued back, so done with Marinette droning on and on about Adrien, with her usual reasons. "You'll give him up for this dense blonde who doesn't even realize you like him? Who constantly friendzones you every chance he gets?"

"I… I…" Marinette started, unsure of what to say anymore. She'd said it all, hadn't she? Or at least attempted to. However deep down she knew Tikki was right. There wasn't any way for her to make Adrien see she liked him, could there?

Adrien had constantly friendzoned her during everything… Times when they were alone, whether planned or otherwise. And it was draining… Hopeless, even. Yet she still put herself through the pain willingly.

It was as if she was holding on to something that was all the more unattainable the more she tried. Especially with the heart eyes she'd seen him give Kagami lately. She knew she should give up. The heartbreak wasn't worth it.

But then why would she continue to insist on the idea of Adrien being her perfect match anyway? She really believed they were soulmates deep down in her heart… And yet when Chat displayed these same motives towards Ladybug, she was completely against it.

“I’m just as bad as Chat on this matter, aren’t I?” Marinette said, as the realization came to her. “I’ve been desperately waiting for something to happen between us… Something that could never be, no matter how much I want it to.”

“You and Chat may share some of the same morals, such as putting your crushes on some pedestal, but you two have different ways to deal with them.” Tikki stated calmly. “You’re not constantly flirting or throwing yourself at Adrien. Nor do you throw tantrums or leave him when you can’t get what you want. Both of your situations are different.”

“None of that matters when I still try to pursue Adrien anyway.” She insisted.

“Mari, stop this.” Tikki said, firmly. “You’re not like him. I mean you clearly talk your feelings out with me. Then there are also Alya, Juleka, Rose… The usual girl group at school you’re a part of. Sometimes even Luka. And neither of them judge you for that. You’re allowed to feel as you do and I hope you come to understand that sometime.”

"How Tikki? I'm a mess of emotions every single day!" She replied. "How could that be alright? Or healthy in the least?"

"Because you don't keep them in." Tikki said. "And if you think that would turn everyone away from you, you have another thing coming. Luka clearly loves you!"

"I… I don’t deserve it though.” Marinette said, tears glistening in her eyes. “I don’t deserve him.” “That’s something for him to decide, Mari, not you.” Tikki said, offering her holder a soft smile. “Yet he still undeniably loves you, faults and all. It’s what makes Luka, well, Luka.”

“I know… But I still can’t help but think that he deserves someone better. Someone who can give him the life he deserves. Someone who can love him unconditionally and put his well being first, as he does for me.” She began, just as a lone tear slid down her face. “How can I be that for him when the first boy that comes to mind is one I can never have?”

“How can you be so sure, you can’t be that person for him?” Tikki asked her holder. “Isn’t he all you wished Adrien to be for you? Kind, caring, attentive, affectionate, encouraging… All the while just there for you when you need a friend. He’s perfect for you, and if you’d only get your mind out of the gutter, you’d see that’s true.”

“How would that be fair to him, Tikki?” She asked, all the while wiping away some fresh tears with the back of her hand. “I wouldn’t want to use him to just get over Adrien, nor would I want him to feel like second best.”

“Do you have any romantic feelings for Luka at all?” The kwami asked her holder in a more serious tone.

“Well, yeah, b-bu-” The girl attempted to respond, but was interrupted.

“Then there you have your answer.” Tikki said. “Luka won’t be second best, unless you treat him as such. And since that’s something you’re not too keen on, then there’s no real issue. All he wants is for you to be at your happiest, be it as a friendship or romance. Though if you ask me, I think you owe it to yourself to be happy, Mari. Giving him a chance wouldn’t hurt. In fact, I think it would help you become happier.”

Perhaps the tiny kwami had a point. Luka was all the things she was looking for in a guy. So what if he wasn’t the boy she chased after for so long? So what if he wasn’t the blonde boy who’d offered her his umbrella the one day she’d forgotten hers? Or the first boy to awaken such feelings inside of her?

Luka was different. He was there for her when nobody else was. He was the most comforting presence in her life. Never pushing her to return his feelings, but instead encouraging her to chase after the boy she really liked. The guitarist was content just being her friend. He didn’t demand anything from her. If anything all he wished was for her happiness, however it is that she would find it.

“O-Okay…” Marinette concluded, coming to a decision. “You went through a lot of trouble trying to set us up, so I’ll let it slide this time.”

“That’s the spirit!” Tikki exclaimed, giddy with excitement. “Now come on, let’s get you ready. Your new boyfriend could be coming in any minute now~”

“T-Tikki!” The girl cried out, flustered at the ‘boyfriend’ comment. “Don’t get so ahead of yourself!”

“What? We both know you’ll both become an item soon enough.” The kwami declared, very sure of herself.

“T-That’s not the point!” Marinette responded, just as flustered, if not more so than before.

Ding.

Marinette's phone chimed, alerting her a new message had arrived.

"Just arrived. Hope to see you soon."

She smiled fondly at the message before typing in her own response.

"I'll be right over with you in a few."

Without another word, the girl put her phone down and entered the bathroom to fix herself up in order to finally face Luka.

Marinette was filled with new purpose and hope to start a relationship. A real one that she was sure they both wanted.

Perhaps Tikki's meddling was a blessing. After all, it had helped Marinette see more clearly that there was a different boy she could pursue with more than successful results.

#Tikki the Lukanette Shipper-verse #TLS-Verse #Tikki-centric fic #Tikki/Marinette friendship #mentions of Luka #mentions of Adrien #Not very LS friendly #Anti Love Square #Anti LS #Pro Lukanette #Lukanette isn't together yet but it leads to it #BMX3 #BrickercupMasterX3 #LS salt?#Anti LadyNoir #Anti Adrienette

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catherdrashepard · 3 years

Text

Atlas au Raa

So, I finished Dark Age not that long ago and it came with so many brand new questions. And so many thoughts about the characters. But, as the title suggests, the character who has been at the forefront of my mind is Atlas au Raa. There’s just so little we know about him but there’s pieces there that I think just need to be put together. It will in no way reveal the full puzzle that is Mr. au Raa but I do hope that it can give some idea as to what he’s about. Spoilers ahead. This post is very long and a but rambly, apologies in advance.

What DO we know about Atlas au Raa? Shout out to @hyena-frog for helping me with this part. (Read: pretty much doing this part for me.) He’s a Rim Gold and brother to Romulus au Raa. He grew up in Octavia's court as a ward because she required each Rim family to send a kid to her as a hostage to prevent another rebellion. Apparently he was a favored student of hers. He mostly stuck to himself there but loved the library. Octavia forced him to have a child with Aja (Ajax, AKA the Core’s Storm Knight.) Atlas himself is the Fear Knight. He was best friends with Lysander’s parents, Brutus and Anastasia and, at some point after they died, he was sent to the Kuiper Belt to supposedly deal with the Ascomanni. Although, we’re pretty sure Octavia sent him there in order to eliminate him. He tortures people in order to kill enemies psychologically, preventing further deaths. He also controls Volsung and Xenophon. There is also the implication that he views the Rim as enemies and is more loyal to the Core. He makes meditation totems out of those who make him question his prejudices. Currently he has totems of (that we know of): Daedre, a Red woman. And a WIP Darrow.

The whole “question his prejudices” thing is really Interesting to me. Golds are taught that they are at the top, that they are the pinnacle of humanity (which they are but....that’s only because they MADE it that way) which definitely gives them some biases against the other Colors. I haven’t quite puzzled out if he counts these people as exceptions or if he realised that Color isn’t indicative to someone’s ability and he needs to remember to judge them based on individual ability. My money’s on the latter tbh because he doesn’t seem like the type of person to assume everyone is going to fit into the place they were assigned. As @hyena-frog beautifully put “He's learned not to let his biases blind him to how dangerous even LowColors can be.” But you know who doesn’t have the same critical thinking skills as Atlas? Lysander.

There’s also the question of his motivations, and what exactly he uses the Fear Knight persona for. Something specific that’s been nagging at me is the story about the Ascomanni that Pax told to Ephraim. I already mentioned it briefly in the first paragraph but I’d like to expand on why I think he was involved in what happened with the Ascomanni.

First, I’d like to go through the timeline. From what I got from the Wiki, some Obsidians escaped to the Kuiper Belt around Late 3rd Century PCE (Post Conquering Era) and approximately 736 years later, Atlas au Raa was banished to the Kuiper Belt by Octavia au Lune. 11 years after that in 747 PCE, Atlas returned to the Core to allegedly help fight against the Rising. In 754 PCE, 7 years after Atlas’ return, the Ascomanni attack the Pandora over Mars. Darrow enters the Institute 2 years prior to Atlas’ banishment. The majority of the first trilogy happens while Atlas is in the Kuiper Belt, including the entirety of Morning Star. So Atlas returns sometime in between the end of Morning Star and the beginning of Iron Gold. I’m not really finding any answers on how long it might have take Atlas to travel to the Kuiper Belt. Pardon some weird math for a second. Based on the Wiki: “the novels depict travel time between planets taking several weeks and often two or three months without layovers...” For simplicity’s sake, I’m going to assume it takes about 3 months to get from one planet to the next. I’m sure it will vary depending on distance between planets but...3 months is a good average. I’m also going to include the Asteroid Belt between Mars and Jupiter. If Atlas was travelling from Luna to the Kuiper Belt, assuming he made no stops in between, my guess is it would have taken him probably about 2 years to get there. Theoretically then, Atlas would have spent 7 years in the Kuiper Belt doing whatever he was doing.

Something else that I’ve been thinking about is why Atlas joined the Core Golds and why Octavia appointed him as the Fear Knight. I don’t believe for a second that it would’ve been to foster peace between the Rim and Core Golds. Atlas’ parents were most likely alive during the First Moon Lord Rebellion considering their oldest child was born 9 years after it took place. We don’t really know a lot about Atlas’ parents but we have gotten little bits of information that I’ll do my best to analyse. Revus au Raa, Atlas’ father was said to be involved in the death of Lysander’s parents so that puts his death to sometime after 739 PCE and I believe before 742 PCE. I am not the cultural anthropologist that my sister, @saiikavon is so I got her opinion on Atlus’ potential motives for joining the Core. Her thoughts are that Atlas joined because he wants to understand the Core. The Rim Golds believe the Core is “barbaric and has corrupted itself with a sense of entitlement...” so it’s safe to say they have heavy prejudice against them. My sister mentioned that based on Atlas’ totems, he seems to be the type who would question the prejudices the Rim has against the Core and prefer to do his own research in person. From what little I know about Revus au Raa, I doubt he would have approved of his son’s choice.

Since I don’t know exactly when Atlas became the Fear Knight, I have to make guesses on which events he was on the Core for. I think it’s entirely possible that he was present for Eo’s song and her death. He also wasn’t sent to the Kuiper Belt until a year after Darrow finished at the Institute so I don’t think it’s farfetched to think that he witnessed all of what happened with that. He was also friends with Lysander’s parents, one of which who was planning a coup against Octavia. As we know, Lysander’s parents were killed because of this plan and, if Atlas was in on it as well, that could explain why he was sent to the Kuiper Belt. Octavia obviously didn’t want him to return from his exile, but she couldn’t outright kill him because that might have started a war between the Core and the Rim. And I don’t think Revus would have wanted to risk a war either had his son been able to succeed in the coup. Which would explain why he became involved in the death of Lysander’s parents and why he allowed his son to be sent away. Revus was then killed which I suppose could’ve been Octavia tying up loose ends.

This finally brings us to the Ascomanni. 736-738 (to account for Atlas’ travel time) years is a long time to be isolated in and beyond an asteroid belt. My guess is that they were incredibly far behind in technology until Atlas showed up. If we consider the above paragraph as canon, I suspect Atlas would have tried to recruit the Ascomanni to help him overthrow Octavia. If we take account the 3-4 years that it probably took for Atlas to reach the Kuiper belt, he spent about 7-8 years with the Ascomanni. We can only speculate (until Pierce Brown maybe tells us please) as to what happened between them but I feel like it’s safe to say that Atlas helped the Ascomanni obtain at least some of the technology they used during the attack on the Pandora. Also, because the Ascomanni didn’t arrive until 7 years after Atlas did, he had plenty of time to make plans and recruit Xenophon.

The only thing is, I think Atlas’ plans must have changed during that time, at least to some degree. In one of the previous paragraphs, I mentioned that Atlas returned to the Core sometime after the end of Morning Star. I’m sure that on his journey back, he learned that Octavia was killed and that Lysander was taken away by Cassius. Whether or not he knows WHO Cassius is is unknown. I think it’s possible depending on how closely he followed the events at the Institute. But as Cassius trained with Aja in 740, Atlas probably didn’t have a close relationship with him or know him all that well. This makes me think that it’s possible that Atlas assumed (like most people now that I think about it) that Lysander was dead.

Where does this leave Atlas then? Octavia is dead, Lysander is also presumed dead, and the Core has been taken over by a new group. I’m reluctant to say that he is entirely for restoring the Core back to how it was, but I imagine that he sees the Rising (and defeating the Rising) as a way to reshape the Core to be what he thinks it should be. I feel like his motives are similar to Lysander’s in that he wants to fix what he thought was broken about the Core. Although, Lysander’s (stupid) opinions on what’s broken and Atlas’ are probably different.

Anyway, I don’t really feel like I answered any questions about our beloved(?) Fear Knight but here are my thoughts. I really hope we get more of him in the next book.

#dark age spoilers #iron gold trilogy #dark age #atlas au raa

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petra-realsnk · 3 years

Text

Rivetra fanfic (divergence au)

Under the cut there’s the second chapter of my Digging up a grave series! I really do appreciate your support guys. I was really excited to know that some of you enjoyed the first part, so I hope you find this one interesting as well. This chapter was quite hard to write. I wanted this part of the story to feel genuine while also setting some conflicts. I'm pretty clear about the direction the story will go, and it will probably end up having around 6 chapters. I’ll keep trying my best to bring you all a good burn! <3

Warnings: distress, sadness, mourning.

You can also read it in AO3 here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29610360/chapters/72925107

Digging up a grave (Chapter 2)

Petra wakes up in the military dungeons, oblivious to everything that has happened during the last six months. Levi is in charge of bringing her up to date, and informing her of her last duty to humanity. Erwin had asked him not too long ago if he could see his fallen comrades, and now he surely could. During their talk, Levi, who had sworn to live regretless, starts to doubt. What will he say once she finally asks him, "how did I die?"

The pendant duty

Petra woke up with a start. Seconds after she opened her eyes the memory of her nightmare faded, leaving behind it an agonizing sensation. The room was dark, and a faint musty smell stung her nose. The small bed was nestled against the wall in one corner, though she could barely see anything in the dim light.

She then remembered that she had been in the forest, and that the captain had found her, although she couldn't recall how she had gotten there. She also remembered her conversations with Eren before the expedition, but all the rest seemed to have been lost. There was not a single muscle in her body that didn’t ache, and a slight but persistent migraine pricked her temples. Her hands fearfully explored her body expecting to find a wound that could explain those after-effects. To her surprise, she didn’t find anything on the surface, which made her think that it was something internal, maybe caused by some fall or blow, which was somewhat correct.

At the thought of it, something twisted in her stomach, as it would surely have implied a problem for her squad, that would have had to come to her aid. It was even possible that her own captain had come to rescue her, which hurted her considerably. Petra was a proud soldier, she placed high esteem on her work, and would be lying if she said that she didn’t seek Levi's approval. For a long time Petra had tried to justify herself by thinking that all she wanted was to prove her worth, or that maybe she was too good-natured and therefore a little bit of a pleaser, even if the latter didn’t fit her at all.

Her breathing was still uneven, and from time to time she also experienced vertigo. Fatigue prevented her from caring too much about her condition, although it didn't take long for her to notice that something was wrong. Despite her blackouts, she managed to remember most of the things, but there was a fog separating her from everything… The memories, the people, the important events were there, but the emotional bonds that tied them had been distorted. She analyzed herself in the stillness of the room, until the sound of squeaking metal alerted her that someone was entering.

Thanks to the light of a torch she could see that it was Hange, who had just opened the gate of the cell in which she was. Petra felt misplaced as she realized she was imprisoned, and looked around her quickly, worsening her headache.

"Lay back down, getting upset will only make it worse", Levi said.

His voice moved something inside Petra, briefly clearing the mist that had separated her from reality before, bringing back for a second the sensation that linked his memory to her. She saw him appear from behind Hange, in civilian clothes and with his hands tucked into his pockets. Petra rested her head on the pillow once again, lying on one side without losing sight of her superiors.

"There you go! Just as when we found you… ”, said Hange in a rather calmed manner. As the commander approached she realized Hange wore an eye patch, then her eyes shifted to her neck, where now there was an honorific pendant with a green gem. Petra wondered what could have happened, and how was it possible for them to have been commemorated that fast…

“What happened?”, she asked them, unable to hide her urgency. Hange's expression turned grim, while Levi remained motionless, leaning against the opposite wall the bed was in, unable to look at her. Petra's eyes went from one to the other, trying to figure out if she should apologize for something.

“We figured you won’t remember”, said Hange, making a pause. “You see, Petra… During the 57th expedition, we were attacked by an intelligent titan who turned out to be an infiltrated member in our army. Levi’s squad was totally annihilated, including yourself”.

The room remained in silence as Petra stared the commander in disbelief. “Are they- are they dead?”, she started saying, but couldn’t finish before Hange interrupted, “that was six months ago”.

That last sentence made her body temperature drop. The meaning behind her words was starting to reach her, and soon she started to panic. Petra tried to incorporate herself as her coping mind began to separate her from that moment. Before her nerves collapsed, Levi pushed himself off the wall and started walking toward her.

“You died, your body had to be left outside the walls and the enemy transformed yourself into a titan. After six months you came to devour someone who had the ability to shift like Eren, and that’s how you turned back to yourself.”

Hange gave Levi a concerned look, for he was delivering way too much information very harshly, even though she quickly realized that was his best attempt to bring her back. As he finished speaking, Levi finally looked Petra in the face. She regenerated slowlier than normal, but now her face looked as usual if not a little bit pale. He had always been prepared to let go of anyone at any given moment, but he wasn’t ready for this.

“Hange, aren’t you busy now that you’re the new commander? How about you let me take care of her”, said Levi without taking his eyes away from Petra.

“Commander!?”, replied Petra, “Then Erwin…”

“Ah, you’re right”, said Hange with a saddened tone, “I’ll go take care of it now, you guys have a lot to talk about! See you, Petra.” This time she sounded more carefree, disappearing before Petra could say goodbye.

Rapidly her mind shifted to Ouro, Eld and Gunther… The pain was beginning to take over her, but the captain wasn't going to let her take a breath.

Levi continued to advance towards her and sitted on her bed, quite more closer than what he had really intended to. Petra felt slightly intimidated, had he stopped trusting her? “Is he trying to intimidate me?”, she thought to herself, although he just wanted to see her from up close.

“Captain… I apologize. I understood what you both said, but there are some things I can’t really grasp”.

After hearing the word “captain” Levi shuddered. That was the first time she addressed him after her death, so formal, as if… nothing had really happened. She gave her life to him once, and now that she’s given a second she’s already back on duty? His expression betrayed him this time. He had always known how devoted she was, and was aware of her fondness for him, but why now? After giving everything she had, after he had failed them, she was willing to continue believing in him? He was being dragged to a mindspace he couldn’t afford. He had to understand she hadn’t seen herself under that tree, nor falling from the chariot. That was on him.

“Petra, it is done now. You don’t need to talk to me in that manner. Your duty with humanity has been fulfilled for now. If you still want to do this, I won’t stop you, but for now you should just listen”.

His reaction softened her. She knew she probably was a titan now, but if what they said was true, they would have had to suffer her death anyways. Petra lowered her gaze, as the blood slowly returned to her cheeks. She really had to work up the courage to ask the following:

“What happened to us?”

The captain was then forced to look away. It was a most common question, but he didn't know what to answer. All the formulas that came to mind included the confession that he was not there, that he could not help them, and that he abandoned them a second time without being able to take them to their families.

“I wasn't there, but it looks like your back was broken.” He could not lie, although he chose the short version. He didn't want her to have to imagine it, even at the risk of sounding blunt. “If you want to know more, you should ask Eren.” That’s all he could give away, as he turned to face her once more.

"I see ..."

Petra bit the bullet nicely, keeping her composure. At least she was certain that Eren was fine, even though they had failed him too. She knew Levi was used to losing people along the way, and he'd had to let go of his squad as well. At least now they could carry the weight of that loss together, she thought. Then, as things started to fall into place, it suddenly hit her.

“My father!”

“We’ll take care of it. I’ll inform him personally that you’ve been miraculously found alive. We can’t really tell him the truth for now, but we’ll arrange something…”, he comforted her.

Petra’s face lightened up a little, regaining its usual beauty. She had a very close relationship with her father despite their silly arguments. She didn't want to imagine the suffering it would have caused him, and was dying to tell him she was fine. Her determination helped her feel better, since now she had in mind to go home as soon as possible.

“Thank you so much, sir. When will it be possible to go see him? I really need to let him know.”

Levi looked at her somewhat concerned, Petra's mind was jumping from one place to another, and he needed to talk with her about so many things... Things that had happened in battle, the truth about the titans, she deserved to know everything, although deep down he knew that would not satisfy him. Was there something else he wanted to tell her, or was it actually something he wanted to know?

“I’m telling you to listen. Now that you’ve eaten a shifter you have inherited their powers. As you might have guessed, that means you’re like Eren now. We can’t really lose sight of you for that. We can’t know for sure which titan you have, and as far as we know your condition seems more delicate than the others. We aren’t sure you’ll be able to transform and come back. Our only concern for now will be to make sure we don’t lose you. When the time it’s due, you’ll have to pass your power on to someone else”.

Petra saw that their conversation was far from over, and continued to listen with the same gesture of professionalism that had always accompanied her.

“There’s something more…”, continued Levi, “you can only live for thirteen more years after having inherited the powers. That’s in normal cases, so it’s very likely that you’ll have considerably less time due to your circumstances.”

Petra's eyes widened momentarily, realizing now that she would have to lose most of her freedom, and that her time was running out. It's not that she wasn't up to it, but she wondered what would become of her life. Did that mean that her father was about to lose her again? She even came to think that perhaps it would be better for him to continue thinking that she’s dead, so he wouldn’t have to bury his daughter twice.

“You will need to find a reason of your own. We’ll only ask you to keep yourself alive until we find some certainties. If everything goes on smoothly we should be able to meet with the people who transformed you. But until your time is up, you must decide how to spend it. Once you are better and clean yourself up, I will take you to see your father, if you want to”.

That comment, coupled with his visibly frustrated expression, brought Petra a small smile. They were close, and she could sense that he had cared deeply for her. As she looked at him, a chill ran through her arms. His attention always managed to move something in her. Petra felt ashamed of her own feelings, but it was obvious that she felt for him. Sometimes she belittled that affection as a childish crush, or distorted admiration. But other times, she felt that she knew him better than that, though it mortified her to admit how she had been carried away by Levi.

“I’m already starting to feel better. I will get to it as soon as possible. I would really like to get some fresh air. Is there anything else that I should know?”

Her voice was gentle, although there was some sadness to it. Guilt gnawed at Levi even though he didn't show it. Similar chills washed over him, unable to stop looking at the ghost on the bed. Erwin's death still followed him, and Petra's return had done nothing but show him a new version of hope and mourning.

They continued to talk about everything she had missed, sometimes looking into each other's eyes, sometimes avoiding their gazes. It was the first time that such a conversation took place on earth, an acquaintance bringing news to a dead person that could actually answer. There they remained, exchanging words for hours, caught up in an emotion that cannot be experienced alone.

-------

Ending note: Thank you so much for reading! In the next chapter, as you might have already guessed, they will be visiting Petra's father. Maybe something about that letter is about to be unveiled...

#digging up a grave #rivetra #rivetra fanfic #Levi Rivaille #levi ackerman #petra ral #rivapeto #snk fanfiction #shingeki no kyojin #canon divergence

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thominho-incorrectquotes · 3 years

Text

Pizza boy

Characters: Thomas x Minho

2502 words

Tags: Modern AU, fluff, Pizza AU

Summary: Minho is this beautiful delivery boy. Thomas tries to ask him out. However, he wasn't excepting Minho to flirt with him.

You can also read it on AO3 and ff.net

_________________________________

Thomas felt lonely. It had been days now. Teresa, his sister, hadn't come to see since a long time and he couldn't even see her at the University. Ever since she started dating Aris, she spent all her time with her lover and didn't have time for her twin brother.

His best friend, Newt, went back to England to see his family and of course Alby - the blonde's boyfriend and also a friend of Thomas - went with him. It would be the first time he would officially introduce his partner to his family. Since there was a week off, they had decided it would be a good time to do it.

So, far from his family and his friends, Thomas felt lonely. And sad.

He hadn't eaten much for the past few days. He had no motivation or strength to prepare something to eat.

But that night, he was hungry. Very hungry. And he craved pizza. Deciding he deserved it - after all, he was doing well in school and he did more sport than necessary - he took his phone and choose the delivery app. He rarely used it, but during some party nights with his friends he had often ordered pizza from it.

He was about to confirm his order when he saw the little text box for special requests. He had never used it before, but he since he was bored and wanted to have fun, at least a little, an idea came to mind.

He wrote: "Send your cutest delivery boy."

After all, what's the worst that could happen?

........

Okay, that was maybe the best idea or the worst idea of the whole century.

When the bell rang, Thomas had almost forgot his little demand. He was playing a game on his phone and just didn't think about it again.

But when he opened the door, he found himself in front of the most beautiful man he ever saw.

He looked a bit older than him and was obviously of Asian origin. He was displaying a smile enhanced by beautiful dimples and his dark eyes were shining. His built was also quite imposing – his uniform seemed a little small on him, his arms and chest were stretching the t-shirt, which allowed anyone to take a look at his impressive muscles. His skin was tan and looked so soft that the temptation to caress it was almost uncontrollable.

Thomas was drooling in front of this Greek god. He was more than just cute – he was gorgeous.

He wanted to keep him to himself.

"Cheese pepperoni pizza's for here?" the delivery boy asked, making the young man snap back to reality. "Oh-h, yeah! Sorry!" he replied, cheeks burning.

He only hoped the man straight out of his dreams wouldn't notice it.

He took few bills from his pocket and without even counting them, gave them all to the Asian man, took the box, and closed the door as fast as possible. The moment the face of the delivery boy was out of sight behind the closed door, Thomas felt completely stupid. He was tempted to open it again to apologize for his rudeness, but the boy must have been gone by now. He had acted out of panic and he regretted not saying at least "Hi!" Yeah, why did he not at least said "Hi?"

He felt so dumb. The man of his life had been right in front of him and he acted like an absolute moron.

He ate his piazza, feeling even lonelier.

........

When Jorge had told him another order asking for the cutest delivery boy had just been sent, Minho had sighed. Probably some girls, again, who were desperately looking for a boyfriend or even just a one night stand. And since he was indeed the cutest boy of the pizzeria, it was always him who had to deliver those orders.

So, he had to continually reject the many advances he received. Let's just say that… girls weren't really what he was interested in.

Zart, another delivery boy and Minho's close friend, could easily do it, but Jorge was strict. They asked for the prettiest one, they'll get the prettiest one. It was a bit mean to his blond friend, but the Asian couldn't deny that he was cuter.

So, he was very surprised when, this time, it was a boy who opened the door. A boy… or rather an angel. With his golden colored eyes, his perfect cheekbones covered in moles, his brown tousled hair, his beautiful lips… The man in front of him could only be an angel. Someone so adorable couldn't exist.

He had been a bit disappointed when said angel had abruptly shut the door close, but given his red cheeks and the huge tips the boy gave him – he had given a lot more money than needed – Minho couldn't complain much. The angel must had fell for him.

He only hoped to see him again.

And his wish was granted faster than expected since, the exact next day, he found himself in front of the same door, with the same order, and the same special request in hand. He couldn't help his habitual smirk from coming up when the young man opened the door. He seemed even more beautiful than yesterday.

"Oh, great!" he said, seeming relived.

"What?"

"I was hoping it would be you" he continued. "I wanted to apologize for yesterday, I was rude."

"You ordered a pizza just to apologize?"

"U-uh… yes."

His cheeks were once again red and Minho knew his heart could not take it much longer. He was so cute. If it was up to him, he would take this angel in his arms and bring him somewhere safe to protect him from anything.

"I-I… Hum… You…" The young man looked uncertain.

"Yes?"

"U-uh, nothing, thanks for the pizza."

He then took some bills and, as a repeat of last time, gave the money to Minho before closing the door, pizza box in hands, leaving the latter surprised, but with a smile on his lips.

It was now certain that the young brown-haired man wasn't indifferent to Minho. He was tempted to knock at the door once again and kiss this irresistible angel silly, but told himself it was probably wiser to take it slow. Even if he didn't really know him, this young man was too precious to risk losing him.

.........

Thomas banged his head once again on his kitchen table. What an idiot. What an idiot!

Not even able to ask the man of his dream for his name. The best thing he had found was to order once again, so the Asian wouldn't think he was an asshole and at least try to start a conversation with him, but he had totally failed.

This perfect man made him so nervous. He was probably not even interested in men, so Thomas was already stressed about that, moreover, he also was losing all his means in front of this living god. He was totally screwed.

But he was determined. And even if it would result in failure, he wanted to try. That's why, the next day, he ordered again from the pizzeria. This time, he chose a salad. Yesterday's pizza was still half eaten in the fridge.

When the bell rang, Thomas ran to the door, hasty to see the beautiful delivery boy. He would at least get a name this time, he swore it.

Like expected, the Asian man was behind the door, a small box in hands.

"So tonight's Cesar salad?" the latter said, smirking. "Pizza was getting old?"

"U-uh, yeah… right."

Klunk, that wasn't a good start.

"Uh… You" he tried again, not with much success. He took a deep breath and said "What's your name?"

Yes! I did it!

The man raised an eyebrow, but his smirk stayed on.

"Why do you wanna know?" he asked in a mocking tone, as if he already knew the effect he had on Thomas.

"Uh… I-I…"

And there it goes again. His cheeks were hotter than ever.

"Name's Minho" the delivery boy answered, taking pity on the young man. "You?"

Minho… Nice name. And if Thomas remembered correctly, that was a Korean name.

"I-it's Thomas."

Bra-vo. Not even capable of answering a simple question without stuttering.

"Thomas" the young man repeated. "I quite like it, but I prefer calling you angel."

His heart skipped a beat. Angel?! It was now official, Thomas was going to die of love for this man. Feeling his knees going soft, he knew he wouldn't be able to stay in front of Minho staring at him much longer.

He couldn't do it. He repeated last night's events. He only let out the breath he was holding once the door was closed behind him, his heart shattered into pieces for another wasted golden chance.

........

Minho was back from a delivery when Jorge called out for him.

"Here, there's a special request for you."

Curious, he took the order and immediately recognized the address. Thomas. This time, in the request box, he had written "Send Minho", which made him smile. He couldn't wait to see his angel.

Now knowing the way perfectly, Minho arrived in front of the now familiar door even faster than in the past days.

Holding the Greek salad, he rang the bell. He showed his best smile when the door opened, making sure his dimples were on full display.

"You know, my beautiful angel" he started when Thomas was in full sight "I'm flattered you want to see me so much, but four nights in a row? I'll start wondering if you haven't started an obsession. Or do you just want to apologize once again for always slamming the door in my face?"

Of course, Minho was being sarcastic and knew very well that Thomas didn't do it out of rudeness. It was pretty clear that he was desperately trying to asking him out. Minho would immediately say yes, he wanted this boy so much.

"Uh-h, no… Yes!" Thomas said, seeming distraught once again.

So the pet name still had its effects.

"Sorry, I'm just…"

"Intimidated?"

"Uh… maybe, I don't know…"

The Asian smiled all the more. "Oh, my angel, don't be" he said while taking the youngest one's chin in his fingers. "Someone like you should be protected at all cost, you don't have to be intimidated."

"I-I uh… I-I don't know what to say…"

"Then don't say anything, angel."

Did Minho make sure to say "angel" as much as possible just to see the young man's reaction? Yes. And he wasn't ashamed of it. He was totally flirting with Thomas all while working, but who was going to stop him? Each day, he felt his heart beating even more for this angel. He was falling in love.

"Here, your salad"

"Thanks" the boy whispered before giving Minho the money, once again leaving a good tip.

But the young man refused the tip this time. He felt bad to receive money from someone he liked. "No, take it back. Just seeing you is enough."

He couldn't hold back the wink that followed. Thomas's reaction was simply delicious. He shivered from head to toes before slamming the door once again, leaving Minho with a tender smile on his visage.

Thomas was too adorable.

........

It was the fifth night in a row. And it was ridiculous. He was probably even more of an idiot in Minho's eyes. Even if the Asian man seemed to be flirting with him, it could also be a way of making fun of him. He hoped it wasn't the case.

But he still wanted to try. He wasn't going to let it go that easily. A deep intuition was telling him that Minho was the man of his life. He couldn't let such an opportunity go to waste.

Still, when he opened to door that night, his knees almost failed him. The young man standing in the doorstep was even more gorgeous than the previous nights. His eyes were sparkling in joy and his hair was styled in a way that showed off ever details of his beautiful face.

"My angel" he started with a honeyed tone. "If you want to see me so badly, you just have to say so."

Thomas loved this pet name. He didn't know why, but every time this perfection of a human being pronounced this word with sweet voice, he melted. But now wasn't the time. He had a goal to accomplish. He took a deep breath and spoke clearly.

"A-actually, yes, I want to see you."

Okay, maybe not so clearly, but he did it! He did it!

By Minho's surprised, but satisfied, look, he knew that his boldness had its effect.

The oldest one, while keeping his eyes locked to Thomas, put the order – a pizza this time – on the small table near the door before coming closer to the young man. Seeing that he wasn't stepping away, he went a little further and gently slithered his arms around the brunet's hips.

Being this close to Minho was such a crazy experience. His heart was beating fast. Too fast. His smell intoxicated him and he was sure he was going to lose his mind.

"Yeah?" the delivery boy said, smirking. "Do you have something to tell me?"

His tone was a flirting one, indicating he was well aware of Thomas's attraction towards him.

But two could play this game.

Thomas put his arms around the Asian man's neck, bringing his face closer to his. He put on his best smile and completely dived into the beautiful dark eyes in front of him.

"Well…" he started with a tone he hoped sounded confident "I was wondering if you were free… someday…"

"Are you asking me out?" Minho replied while raising an eyebrow, grinning.

"Yes."

There wasn't a smile in existence more radiant than the one Thomas was seeing right now. Minho looked like the happiest man alive.

"Finally" he said "I was wondering when you were going to ask me, angel."

"Does that mean yes?" Thomas mocked in return.

The Asian boy got even closer. Their lips were almost touching, intertwining their breaths. It was so tempting to just cut the distance and kiss this man. He was sure the living god could feel his heartbeats resonating against his muscular body.

"I finish my shift in one hour" Minho informed "but once I'm done, I'll come back and I'll be yours, my angel."

Thomas couldn't resist anymore, he had to kiss him. Once his lips were on the attractive man one's, he knew. Minho was the man of his life. There weren't any doubts now.

The kiss was soft and short, lasting only few seconds. But it was the best kiss of his life. He already wanted more.

"Then go" Thomas said, reluctantly pulling away from Minho "and comeback quickly."

"As fast as possible." Before leaving, he added with a wink: "I know the way by heart now."

___________________________________

I'm pretty proud of my translation this time, I'm getting better!

Anyway, I hoped you liked it and sorry for that bad flirting, I really don't know how flirting works hahaha

Thanks for reading!

#tmr #tmr thomas #tmr minho #minho tmr #thomas #the maze runner #maze runner thomas #thominho #minho #maze runner minho #thomas and minho #thominho fanfiction #thominho fanfic #fanfiction

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imnotgoinganywhereok · 3 years

Photo

Yeah, I’m back on my Sims 4 bullshit! („ಡωಡ„) After an entire month I started to miss my Sim children. So, I decided to visit them once again and have some memorable screenshots, especially since I only started sharing my Sims experience from 5th and 6th generation. I’d be grateful if you checked it out one day, I think it can be somewhat investing! And there will be more content to come...

Recently I noted down in my little notebook all basic information and cool trivia about each of my Sim children, and I decided to share some of it here. There is a limit of only 10 pictures in one post, and I was afraid the post would be long but, to be fair, this is my blog and I’m doing what I want now! And, I will merely touch upon what is already established up to Delphini (gen 7). Again, there will be more in the future. Apologies in advance (ง ื▿ ื)ว

Generation one: Valentina Owl. I created her back in December 2019 when I got Discover University for Christmas! She’s a “human” Sim and I created her through a story option in CAS, and immediately started having a blast. I was not a huge fan of such USAmericanised concept of university but the game was fun. She was the only one who lived up to be an elder (and then die) because back then I thought I’m gonna have a game where my Sims age and stuff. That quickly didn’t work out for me because I missed her already and decided that I’m gonna fill my entire save with just Owl family. Valentina studied Communications and worked as a policewoman at the same time. A lonely workaholic with only her lavish garden, she finally settled for a relationship with Lilith Vatore. As I noticed in this post, there was no marriage so my entire bloodline comes from a bastard. Lovely! She died from receiving a flower arragement with Death Flower scent. Now she’s on the Gallery.

Generation two: Herbert Owl. He was the one who directly killed Valentina. He mastered Gardening like Valentina, and then Flower Arranging - unfortunate for her. Because of Lilith, he was a vampire - and to be fair, the consequences are haunting me to this day! So, a few trivia, maybe. He is super smart, lives in Glimmerbrook like the next two generations, and has a small garden in his house where he grows crops for husband’s, Morgyn Ember’s, potions. He prefers black and purple clothes, both in his human and vampire form. He wrote only one book in his life, translating to The Real Story of Valentina Owl - whether it’s to cover the murder or not remains a mystery. He makes flower arrangements to this day. Ah, he’s also immune to Sun thanks to one of his vampire perks! That sort of helped him take a better care of his son whom he loves very much.

Generation three: Harry Owl. There is not that much I can say about him. A perfectionist like his father (Herbert), he’s blond and wears both masculine and feminine clothes like his other father (Morgyn), but this is where the comparisons end. See, in my mind he wasn’t a good person, despite having a Compassionate trait. He cared for his grandmother’s (Valentina’s) garden only because of his father’s (Herbert’s) feelings; later he shun away gardening. As a teenager, he often used to drink plasma without permission even if he wasn’t thirsty. Of course, he was also a really bad father, often berating his son for not being “good enough” or not paying attention to him at all. All Harry cared about were his paintings that he was creating in his private office. He married Miverva Charm, started living with her family, and still decided to only socialise with her. No one really knows what made him choose her.

Generation four: Nereus Owl. Born a vampire, he cured himself out of vampirism as soon as he could and later became a spellcaster. All he ever did in life was seemed like a rebellion against his father - clothes, flacking off during studies, loving gardening and shuning away painting. Well, it seemed to his father that Nereus is doing this to spite him. Despite this borderline abuse (because how abusive can Sims really be?), Nereus claims his childhood was relatively happy. Of course, he has no clue where his Erratic trait came from! Or why he grew to be a Perfectionist as well. All he knows is that having over 11 different plants in his garden is what makes him happy and that he doesn’t care if his father approves of him anymore! You could see him for the first time here. What is more, as he grew older, he found that he loves playing the violin and his wife, L. Faba, supports him in any way she can. His natural hair colour is red; thanks, grey-haired Minerva - that one bit me in the ass for next three generations.

Generation five: Elijah Tane Owl. Vegetarian like his father, he was the first one to attend Foxbury instead of Britechester. His father Nereus claimed it should be Elijah’s choice what he wants to do in life, giving Elijah freedom Nereus never really had. Elijah studied Computer Science but was a man of many talents. He was a fan of Handiness, Cooking (especially grilling), and Fitness. He often played (and sang) serenades on a keyboard for his wife, Alessandra Robles, almost maxing out his Piano skill. What made him date Alessandra was a shared Vegetarian trait. His favourite colour accent in clothing is green. He grew six strawberry plants because he wished to have a daughter (yeah, only in Sims 4 lol). There are more info about him in my previous posts as it was this generation when I started publishing my game progress, starting with this one (although my main focus was on Salem).

Generation six: Salem Owl (previously Lavender Owl). There is tons and tons of posts about her, her wife Luna Villareal (both are adults, calm down FBI), and their five daughers: Amaryllis, Wisteria, Delphini (remember this one), Hemlock, and Poppy. All you need to know about her is that she is a hard-working mother who climbed her way to the top and even higher to secure the future of her daughers. She hoped for three children and played with On the Dark Ley-Line lot trait to perhaps have some vampire offspring. Instead, she had twins (Ama and Wis) first, and then triplets (Del, Hem, and Poppy) later! She taught her daughers instruments/skills like Piano, Pipe Organ, and Violin. Once she realised Wis and Hem were vampires, she started growing three Plasma fruit trees, with time maxing out her Gardening skill. She’s on very bad terms with her grandma, L. Faba, but tries to keep in touch with her grandpa, Nereus. She has a bad reputation because of her Insensitive trait and a handful of enemies. She’s sorry for what happened between Lilith and Valentina in the past but the Vatore twins don’t mind. She’s ginger, workaholic, has spiky ears, and a lot of freckles. She’s still very good friends with Vladislaus.

Generation seven (A): Amaryllis Owl. She’s colour-coded (pink) and her clothes and room reflect that. She wrote at least 10 books, has spiky ears after her mother (Salem), and is the older daugher in the house. Eventually, she married Candy Behr. Ama’s twin sister is Wisteria and they share the same eyeliner type. Despite having a twin, her skin tone is lighter than Wis’ but the same as Hem and Poppy’s. She inherited a feminine walk from her mother (Luna). Doesn’t know much about Vampire Lore despite having vampire sisters. She loved doing everything with her twin sister. Amaryllis used to be a naturally-born/spawned hybrid of a vampire and a spellcaster but settled for the latter.

Generation seven (B): Wisteria Owl. She’s colour-coded (purple) and her room reflects that. As a vampire, she aims for a gothic look, often wearing hats and gloves to hide from the sun (with time, she turned into a heliphobe). She’s an actress and a B-Lister. She has a pet frog in her room. To reach her room, one has to walk through Ama’s room first - and they’re both okay with that. Wis is the only one to have the same skin tone as her mother (Salem) and the same nose as her other mother (Luna). Her vampiric form changes her eye colour to glowing purple. She loved goign to karaoke bars with her older twin sister Ama, which led Wis to maxing out Singing skill. As a fully fledged vampire, she decided to reach out to Herbert - they’re good friends.

Generation seven (C): Delphini Owl. Same as Amaryllis - naturally-born/spawned hybrid of a vampire and a spellcaster but settled for the latter. She’s colour-coded (dark blue) and her clothes and room reflect that. She always knew she’s going to leave the house and eventually create more Owls. She pursued the rich life and moved out to Del Sol Valley, eventually becoming a Global Superstar. She used to work in a Musician Branch but quit after time - blame the Freegan trait. She has three cats and lives with her daugher Morgan, and her [Morgan’s] husband Kaito Kaneko, and their adopted son Leven Owl (all of which I’ll talk about another time). She received a lot of awards (meeting with fans, Perfect Llama to name the few) and is very happy that her daugher lives with her. She used to romance with Flower Bunny, and then Octavia Moon - althought the initial plan was to go after Octavia’s husband, Thorne. Del often drinks but since there’s no alcoholism in Sims 4, let’s pretent she likes to stay hydrated! She owes half of her success (or namely, money for and expensive house) to her mother Salem. Loves to sunbathe!

Generation seven (D): Hemlock Owl. She’s colour-coded (white) and her clothes and room reflect that. She’s a make-up enthusiast and a little spoiled by the rich life. Also, she’s very Squeamish and Noncommittal. Despite being a vampire, she’s not interested in improving Vampire Lore skill at all. In her vampire form, her eyes change to glowing white. Her face as as many freckles as her mother’s (Salem). She’s the middle child in the triplets business and her best friend is Poppy. She used to wear glasses as a child... What more can I say? She’s living the dream!

Generation seven (E): Poppy Owl. She’s colour-coded (red) and her clothes and room (and a neon light) reflect that. The youngest daughter in the house. Wild and a Bro, she’s the perfect candidate to hang out with. She’s the only child to be born a human - which most likely makes Luna very happy. She’s a robots enthusiast - not Robotics skill but only figurines of robots. She’s a Geek so what else should we expect? She has her own TV and a stereo in her room (as well as a bubble machine). Poppy often wears her PJs around the house because they’re the comfiest. Despite being a Bro, she doesn’t really have friends beside her family. She’s the one to walk the family dog, Milk.

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rx-ven · 4 years

Text

The One That Got Away (Shinobu x Giyuu)

Chapter 4: saved by you, again

-----

12:51 P.M.

After the lunch, Tomioka dropped Shinobu back at the Hospital.

She was greeted by a grinning Mitsuri, sitting on the chair in front of her table when she opened the door of her office.

"So," Mitsuri started, tapping her fingers on the table, "how's the 'family' lunch?"

Shinobu chuckled, obviously know what is on the mind of her pink-haired best friend.

"What are you saying, Mitsuri? It's just a simple lunch that I was offered to."

"Yes!" Mitsuri exclaimed, "Offered by one of the most beautiful men that have entered this hospital."

Shinobu gotta admit Mitsuri isn't wrong on that part.

"You mean I'm offered by his kids, not the other way around."

"Um, no, Ms. Kocho Shinobu. I heard your conversation in the hallway, and I believe he insisted you come with them, and magically, you accepted it," Mitsuri wiggled her brows.

Knowing that her friend won't stop pestering her about the lunch, and she is very sure she will not tell the incident in the comfort room, she tried to change their subject.

"Mitsuri-chan, aren't you supposed to be in your office? It's almost 1:00 P.M."

"Ah, ah," Mitsuri waved her right pointer finger, "you will not get rid of me that fast, Shinobu-chan. Besides, I know something happened! I just know it. I can smell it."

"Well, your nose is obviously clogged because I am certain nothing happened out of ordinary, Mitsuri-chan. And please, stop shipping me to that stoic man. His attention span is like a kid! I can't believe he zoned out while I'm talking to him."

"Maybe he is enchanted by your beauty," teased Mitsuri.

"Y'know, Mitsuri-chan, you're really into this matchmaking of yours, ne?"

"Oh, come on! You're no fun, Shinobu-chan. You don't get to be invited to lunch every day with a handsome man! I need to know what happened," showing her puppy eyes to Shinobu.

Shinobu gave Mitsuri an uninterested look.

"Ugh, fineeeee. I'll stop but only for now," whined Mitsuri, "next time something like this happens you will give me all the tea," Mitsuri winked at Shinobu.

Shinobu rolled her eyes but found herself agreeing to the condition of Mitsuri.

"Yes, I understand, Ms. Kanroji. Now, will you stop pestering me, and get back to your own office?"

"We are not yet done, Shinobu-chan. Douma came."

Shinobu grinned, "I know."

"What? You know?"

"Why do you think I accepted the lunch offer, hm?"

Mitsuri laughed, "you're smart, Shinobu-chan."

"Well, I can hear Douma shouting my name from the other end of the hallway, so I gotta do what I gotta do, escape him even if it means sitting with an emotionally deprived man that zoned out every now and then," Shinobu chuckled.

Shinobu met Douma a couple of months ago when she was strolling in the city. Douma, whose attention is on his phone, dumbly tried to cross a street with cars on full speed. Her automatic reaction was to save him so she yanked him back in the side of the street. Since then, Douma has been pestering her and commenting every now and then how it was like destiny considering the circumstances on how they met.

"I think he was about to ask you on a date."

"Ugh, again? Believe me when I say I turn those advances down every time."

Mitsuri chuckled at the thought, "Well, he is right though. You should start dating now, Shinobu-chan. I'm sure Kanae-san will be happy if that happened."

"I don't like to have another problem in my life, Mitsuri-chan."

"You're really no fun at all, Shinobu-chan," Mitsuri pouted, "speaking of dates, I'll be having a date Saturday next week and I kinda want a movie date but in our apartment. Kanao and Aoi will be staying at Kanae-san's during that time sooo... Is that alright for you?"

"Sure, I'll be just in my room the whole time so you don't have to worry."

"Yay! You're the best, Shinobu-chan!" Mitsuri hugged Shinobu.

"Alright, alright. Now, get back to your office."

The car ride was pleasingly silent. Nezuko was silently scrolling through her phone when a thought came into her.

"Giiyuu-san? Why don't you have a girlfriend?" Nezuko asks innocently. The question made Tomioka flinch. The question also caught Tanjirou's interest.

"Hm, now that you've mentioned it, you haven't introduced someone special to us or even go on dates, Giyuu-san."

Nezuko hummed in agreement. Tomioka kept silent debating if he should answer the two kids. Should he say he the woman he met doesn't interest him or should he just say he doesn't want a relationship yet?

"You know, Giyuu-san, we can help you! Give me your phone, I'll download something," said Tanjirou.

Without thinking, he gave his phone. After a couple of minutes, Tanjirou gave it back to him smiling.

"Here, Giyuu-san. I've installed a dating app on your phone. It should help you in finding the people that interest you by clicking on the filters!"

Bumble app

Tomioka isn't new to this thing. He knows this app because his students use this to find their special someone. Some are successful, some are not. For him, it is efficient, however, it can also be dangerous. He will be meeting a stranger that he only met through the app.

Changing the subject, Tomioka asked Tanjirou where should he drop them. "At the house, Giyuu-san. I'm on a day off today. Inosuke and Zenitsu are the ones working today."

The statement made Tomioka look in horror at Tanjirou.

"Don't worry, Tomioka-san! They won't trash the Café. Kanao and Aoi are there to make sure they won't destroy the Café." Tanjirou said sheepishly.

Aoi and Kanao had been helping in assisting the café a few months ago to help their dear sisters, Shinobu and Kanae pay off bills. Although the earnings of Shinobu already can provide for their everyday needs and still have savings, they still insisted on working and helpful. The idea was adored by Kanae but the money they are only allowed to give is only in a certain amount, and the rest will go to their respective savings.

"Giyuu-san, I know you're trying to change the subject but please try going on dates sometimes, or at least go out," Tanjirou's voice was laced with concern.

Tomioka nodded.

Maybe, just maybe, this can help her find the girl in his dreams.

7:30 P.M.

Mitsuri informed shinobu that she would not be able to go home with her tonight and will be home late. Apparently, Iguro surprised Mitsuri at the hospital and have a date night tonight. Mitsuri apologized at Shinobu knowing she'll be walking home alone tonight. Shinobu assured her that it is alright and that she should just enjoy the evening.

Exiting the hospital, she saw the very least person she needs to be with tonight. Douma.

Ugh, when will the odds be in my favor?

She rolled her eyes.

"Let me walk you home, Shinobu-chan!"

"I don't think that would be needed, Douma-san."

She walked past him and he followed. "But it's late, Shinobu-chan. You might get in danger. I don't want you to be hurt."

Shinobu stopped walking.

"Oh, you don't have to worry about that, Douma-san-" Shinobu rummaged her bag, "-I have a knife and pepper spray with me," Shinobu showed him, "do you want me to try it to you?"

"Aw, don't be mean, Shinobu-chan! I just want to walk you home!" whined Douma.

Shinobu fastened her phase and ignored him, cursing herself because she timely did not bring her car today. Unable to avoid the loud, blonde man. Still, Douma followed her, trying to make her agree to him on going on a date with him.

"Come on, Shinobu-chan! Give me a chance. I'll definitely sweep your feet away," pleaded Douma.

Shinobu glared at him upon hearing his remarks.

"What is it, Shinobu-chan? Why are you glaring at me? Don't tell me you've fallen in love with me already," he said while brushing his hair, voice laced with pride, "I know I'm handsome but don't look at me that long, Shinobu-chan. I'll be shy!"

"No, I'm hoping you'll spontaneously combust," she said smiling.

Clearly hurt, Douma stopped on his tracks and replied, "Why you gotta be so mean to me, Shinobu-chan! We are destined to be together."

Yeah, right, destined to be as far away as possible from each other.

Shinobu continued to walk, ignoring the drama Douma is causing.

While walking, Shinobu is trying to think of ways to get rid of Douma. Douma eventually caught up on her.

She reached the pedestrian crossing when an idea came to her mind. While waiting for the stoplight to be red, Shinobu removed her butterfly pin, and let her hair down. The action surprised douma.

"Whoa, Shinobu-chan! You look so pretty when your hair is down. Why did you do this? Are you hitting on me, ne, Shinobu-chan?" Douma insisted.

Shinobu masked her irritation and just smiled at him, Not answering him. Douma, however, continued to blabber about her hair.

When the stoplight turned red and people started crossing, Shinobu ran as fast as she can away from Douma. Douma was startled and became rooted in his spot, not knowing what was happening.

Shinobu knew that with Douma's height, she will be easily spotted especially with her custom-made butterfly pin so she had to remove it. The plan was a success. She lost Douma in the crowd.

She rearranged her hair and put her pin back. Shinobu skipped on her way home, pleased with the absence of Douma.

While walking, she spots the guardian of the Kamado Siblings who is resting on a bench while holding his water bottle, sweaty from his jog.

Shinobu debated if she should greet him.

If I greet him, he will probably just stare at me again or not even acknowledge me, but if douma catches up on me while I'm alone he will probably start pestering me again.

Shinobu decided to do the latter, deciding that it is the best choice for her current situation.

As she walks closer, the image of Tomioka became clearer. His always messy raven hair is tamed by the ponytail, showing her his forehead. She also took notice of his toned muscles.

He sure does have a nice body.

Mentally slapping herself, Shinobu shook her thoughts off because the man in front of her is obviously confused why she hasn't said a word yet as she stands in front of him staring.

"Good evening, Tomioka-san."

Surprisingly, he acknowledged her, "Kocho."

Tomioka spots a form coming in his way, he lifted his head up and see the small butterfly woman that he had lunch with earlier.

It surprises him when she hasn't said a word to him yet knowing how talkative she is especially when annoying him. His facial expressions must have shown his confusion.

"Good evening, Tomioka-san."

Ah, there it is.

"Kocho."

Utterly confused because she still outside when it is already evening and how it can be dangerous for her.

"What is it that you need, Kocho?"

"Oh, nothing Tomioka-san, I was just about to go home. It just happened that I saw you and decided to greet you,"

"I'll walk you home."

His offer stunned her.

"Umm... What?"

"I'll walk you home."

"Um... why?" then an idea came to her, "are you hitting up on me Tomioka-san? Who would know that you like girls, I thought you were gay," teased Shinobu.

"Girls like you shouldn't be out at a time like this."

Obviously irked by the statement, Shinobu replied, "Excuse me, Tomioka-san, but I'm a 23 years old adult who can definitely protect herself." Fumed Shinobu as she crossed her arms, offended by the comment.

"Yes... but you are small, and light-"

"What are you saying Tomioka-san? Please, do not judge my appearance I can definitely take yo-"

Tomioka grabbed her hips and pulled her close, then grabs her wrist and place it on her back, locking her up.

The action made Shinobu blanked for a second.

Not knowing what to do, she stayed still as she felt her blood rush in her face.

"See, you can easily be cornered."

"What-"

He then let go of her, "I'll walk you home."

Shinobu who still can't wrap up in her head what had just happened, silently followed Tomioka, still blushing furiously.

The walk on their way home was pleasantly silent if it weren't for Shinobu's every other minute teasing or interrogating but Tomioka paid no mind. Having a company is sometimes refreshing.

Surprisingly, her apartment building was just a few blocks away from his.

"Ne, Tomioka-san. Thank you for walking me home," Shinobu said when they got up in front of her unit's door.

Of course, she didn't receive any reply other than his nod.

"Take ca-"

Before she can finish her farewell, her unit's door opened which catches her attention.

She was tackled by Kanao whom she catches at the last minute.

"There you are! We're worried sick! You're not replying to our text and-"

Kanao stopped her rambling when she noticed someone other than her elder sister outside their unit.

"Oh," Kanao straighten herself, "Hello, Tomioka-san. What are you doing here?"

"I walked Kocho home."

Kanao looked at her sister and connected the dots.

"Thank you so much, Tomioka-san! We were worried that something might have happened to her. She's supposed to be home 20 minutes ago-"

"Now, now, Kanao. I'm home safe and sound. You can relax now," Shinobu patted Kanao's head.

Kanao smiled at her sister then faced Tomioka, "Why don't you have dinner with us, Tomioka-san. Take this as a form of gratitude for walking our sister home."

"Thank you, but I don't want to insist."

In Tomioka's mind, he is sweaty and probably smelled, so as much as he wants to have dinner with them, he declined. "We insist, Tomioka-san. Please have dinner with us," Kanao begged.

Shinobu laughed at the cuteness of her little sister she shifted her attention to Tomioka.

"Go freshen up in your apartment first while we prepare for dinner," Shinobu said, sensing Tomioka's thoughts, "Do not try to ditch us Tomioka-san, she will still insist that you'll have dinner with us until you show yourself and eat with us."

With that, Tomioka left and agreed to be back after 10 minutes.

#giyushino #shinobu x giyuu #tomioka x shinobu #kimetsu no yaiba #demon slayer #kny #shinobu kochō #kimetsu no yaiba shinobu #shinobu kochou #giyuu #shinobu #giyuu tomioka #kny giyuu #kny shinobu #tomioka giyuu #fanfiction #kny fanfic #anime

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cascae · 3 years

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I wonder what would have happened if casca and guts swapped places?

oh oh oh . . . firstly the thought of casca, though strong as she is, trying to lead this giant looming bastard of a man thru endless nights and attacks from demons is killing me, but i do think she’d find a way to manage it in her own way (i’m taking them swapping spots mostly as swapping fates in the eclipse, so hopefully i’m understanding right –– and i could also look at this from more of a casca coming in as the outside in the hawks vs guts... let’s split this up hehe i like this question!)

1. simply swapping fates during the eclipse –– i.e. guts wakes up with his mind essentially locked off from him & casca wakes alone.

in this scenario, i think there’s two potential ways this might have played out –– for casca, she’s very much the type to focus on the external world. she often avoids introspection and instead relies on the steadiness of others (namely griffith’s leadership and the tangible/simultaneously intangible nature of being with him, which she didn’t have to analyze because at the very least she was useful to him and therefore there was always a reason to be beside him that she could cling to – even if she wasn’t with him “as a woman” as she puts it, she was irreplaceable to his goals).

upon the betrayal by griffith + in this case guts’ loss of memory/selfhood, i think she’d hold a similar rage as guts does canonically. however, historically, her experience with rage and hurt has her responding by rallying behind someone. even in the year prior to the eclipse when she herself is leading the hawks in griffith’s absence, she’s still actively working to rescue him and subsequently be close to him. this isn’t to speak to her ability to split off –– when it comes down to it, and this is also something we do see with her as acting leader of the hawks, casca can and will survive above all. she can rally behind herself in moments, but a lot of times we see her relying on others when it comes to emotions / even her own understanding of self.

so, all that said, i think more than guts might’ve, casca would be tempted to stay with guts in the cave. i think she would have a hard time leaving him because her rage and hurt would be placed differently than his is. so my first answer is that she would stay with him, and eventually they’d probably leave the cave and much of the conviction arc would play out in terms of what is “fated”.

alternatively, let’s say first and foremost she’s just angry, rageful, and wants to get back at griffith for what he did (essentially all in the same way as guts). if she were to leave, i think similarly to guts she would leave him behind. which i say only because i think if she were to go on the same sort of crusade against demonkind that guts does canonically, she would have a similar line of thought in terms of bringing someone defenseless / who makes her ache w regret every time she looks at him would make for a harder journey.

2. still following the above, but focusing in on what casca as “the black swordsman” would look like.

so assuming she follows the latter theory from above, casca on her own would be so interesting ... i’m going along, still, with the idea that the ‘demonified’ child of guts & casca’s was born. in her more full aware state, she’d have a similar reaction as guts did in canon, and wouldn’t trust it completely to begin with, but following the sort of innate connection they have in that arc, if it were to carry over, i think she wouldn’t necessarily try to kill it or anything. which leads me to the view of the black swordsman.

in her travels, looking so small and less threatening than guts might, i think her reputation would be different. perhaps even she wouldn’t garner the title he does –– alternatively, like we see in the conviction arc in casca’s own storyline, she might better suit “the black witch” title she temporarily holds. if the child is following her like it does in canon as opposed to focusing its attention moreso on guts, then i think similar events as in conviction would occur where we see evil spirits literally dispelled by her / avoiding her, because of the child’s protection. so all in all it would be a different experience –– she would still be fighting and killing every demon she came into contact with to fight her way to griffith himself, but i think the perspective of her and some of her fighting styles would be different. she relies on agility & strategy more than guts does, mostly.

regarding her journey itself, though her motives would be similar to guts’ they certainly wouldn’t be exact. the brunt of her anger towards griffith would be the fact he used her (guts has the right to be angry on this count as well, but i think a lot of his anger centers around both the personal betrayal and what griffith does to casca in front of him –– so in casca’s case, assuming the eclipse functions similarly to canon, she’d be furious that she was considered a “pawn” in terms of griffith’s plan but also in terms of griffith’s torturing of guts, that he assaults her to spite guts particularly, i don’t think that would go unnoticed entirely by her) and the fact that she was never anything more to him than a tool, with even less merit than guts (re: i’ve never heard him say “i want you” until he said it to you, etc.)

SO, long words all to say i think following her as the black swordsman post-eclipse would be so wildly interesting because she would hold also that sort of eternal frustration of “i ought to be _____ as a woman”, so there’s the added idea that if she were to leave guts behind, her guilt would be a lot around shouldn’t she have been the one to nurse him back to normalcy? shouldn’t she be playing maternal & kind & loving? but then she’s spurred on by her anger, the rage she feels towards griffith and his lack of care towards her. she had based her entire life on him needing her, and at least holding platonic affection for her. when that crumbles ... she’s pissed! she’s hurt, certainly, but she’s absolutely enraged.

3. swapping moreso their origin stories, or at least their initial entrance into the band of the hawk.

i won’t go into the eclipse as much here, but just the dynamics and how they’d shift were the trio shuffled emotionally. say guts is griffith’s right hand prior to casca showing up out of the blue and besting some of griffith’s best men –– griffith ultimately engaging her in battle and generating his little obsession that he has for guts for casca instead. i think... well, number one, the dynamic between guts and casca would be interesting. i think the idea of a man being threatened by the sudden appearance of a woman who is skillfully better than him is fundamentally different and more aggressively charged than vice versa. guts’ frustration with casca would likely show itself differently than hers with his, but i would imagine it would still end similarly with a slow burn romance should she be the one to save him on multiple occasions on the field.

(minor cw for manipulation of a sexual nature in this paragraph) regarding her position with griffith, i can’t think of too much else to say because it would be essentially the same as what his relationship with guts is. i was going to say possibly more manipulative but i think that’s mostly because i think griffith has a tendency in canon to utilize sexual situations as power plays (i.e. with charlotte, and then nearly with casca first in the cart right before the eclipse). and i don’t think that path was necessarily closed with guts, but with casca & the assumption that the struggles she holds with her identity as a “woman” and what determines “usefulness” in that position carry over, it could be more prevalent. plus guts actively rejects griffith even jokingly in terms of flirtatious advances, whereas i think there’s a possibility casca would be swayed by that and ultimately be manipulated into perceiving her and griffith’s relationship to go far past friends or comrades, making his eventual betrayal cruel. in this case, i think casca would most assuredly take on the same route of black swordsman as guts does and leave guts behind initially to get revenge on griffith.

further than that, i think if this particular swap happened, griffith might have, instead of doing what he did during the eclipse to casca in order to spite guts, killed him in front of casca to garner the same reaction. or would have found another route to break the pair of them, which could mean that casca would be journeying on her own as opposed to with guts by her side after the fact. though i’m not sure frankly, it could go either way!

anywho, those are my thoughts, apologies for how long this got... i think it’s such an interesting question because the implications in terms of gender especially would be entirely shaken up. it would be interesting also to see the way in which she carried herself afterwards and if she would have a similar resolute persona, so to speak. thank you so much for asking this it was fun to try and work through :-]

#。✟ ▫ ⦙ ░ 𝖗𝖊. footnotes &. meta.#Anonymous #long post #long post cw

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tinyshe · 3 years

Text

[copy, save and share censored information; fight for freedom of information]

COVID-19 Injection Campaign Violates Bioethics Laws

Story at-a-glance

Safety data analysis and reporting in clinical trials of the COVID jabs appear to have been manipulated in at least some cases. One method for manipulating randomized clinical trial safety data is to only analyze the “per protocol” treatment group (those who completed all doses and were fully compliant with the study design) as opposed to “intent to treat” which would include all patients that have signed informed consent

For example, if a participant only accepted one dose and trial protocol called for two, under a “per protocol” analysis, adverse events they experienced would be dismissed and not included in the safety analysis. This is a classic way to manipulate safety data in clinical research, and it's usually forbidden

Since the COVID shots only have emergency use authorization, they are experimental products and, as such, they are not authorized for marketing

Bioethics are written into federal law. As an experimental trial participant, you have the right to receive full disclosure of any adverse event risks. Full disclosure of risks is not being done, and in fact is being suppressed

Adverse event risks must also be communicated in a way that you can comprehend what the risks are, and the acceptance of an experimental product must be fully voluntary and uncoerced. Enticement is strictly forbidden

As the inventor of the messenger RNA (mRNA) vaccine platform, Dr. Robert Malone is one of the most qualified individuals to opine on the benefits and potential risks of this technology.

His background includes a medical degree from Northwestern University, a master's degree from Salk Institute, a bachelor's degree in biochemistry from UC Davis, a Giannini fellowship in pathology and a post-graduate fellowship in global clinical research at Harvard.

He taught pathology to medical students for about a decade at the University of Maryland and the University of California Davis, and then became an associate professor of surgery at Uniformed Services, University of the Health Sciences, where he launched a major research institute focused on breast cancer and high-throughput screening in genomics for breast cancer.

After that, he helped found a company called Inovio, which has brought forth a number of gene therapy discoveries, including vaccines, and the use of pulsed electrical fields as a delivery method. After 9/11, a colleague at the University of Maryland's department of business and economic development connected him with Dynport Vaccine Company, a startup that had received a DoD contract to manage its biodefense products.

"That's when I transitioned from being more of an academic to the advanced development world of clinical research, regulatory affairs, project management, compliance, quality assurance — all of that stuff that goes into actually making a product," Malone explains.

"It was a huge epiphany that the world really didn't need more academic thought leaders and [that] I was wasting my time focusing on that. What the world really needed was that people understood the underlying technology and the discovery research world, but also understood advanced development, which is that drug development is a highly-regulated world. And there aren't very many of those.

So, I set out to become really expert in that latter part and worked with the government, particularly in biodefense and vaccine development, for a couple of decades. And that brings me to the present.

I've captured a couple of billion dollars in grants and contracts for companies that I've worked with, and clients from the government, from BARDA [Biomedical Advanced Research and Development Authority], from the Department of Defense and others."

COVID-19 'Vaccines' Are Gene Therapy

I've been accused of falsely stating that these COVID shots are not vaccines but gene modifying interventions. However, even Malone agrees with this statement, and as the inventor of the technology, he should know. He points out that in Germany, by law you cannot refer to this technology as a genetic vaccine or gene therapy vaccine. "The German government has specifically outlawed the use of gene therapy-based vaccine as a term," he says.

With his background, and having received the COVID shot himself, he can hardly be called an "anti-vaxxer" and/or someone who doesn't believe in gene therapies. Yet, he recently went public with concerns about the safety of rolling out this kind of technology on a mass scale, and the unethical ways in which they're being promoted.

As has become the trend, he was immediately censored. Wikileaks even went so far as to erase him from the historical section of the mRNA vaccine page and his own personal Wikipedia page was removed. All references to Malone inventing the mRNA technology were removed and attributed to a variety of institutions instead.

Blowing the Whistle

Malone's public involvement with the COVID jab issue began with a short essay1 reflecting on the bioethics of the current campaign to get a needle in every arm. This essay grew out of a conversation he'd had with a Canadian physician. Malone's essay catalyzed an interview with Bret Weinstein in June 2021 on the DarkHorse Podcast.

This isn't the first time Malone has spoken out against unethical behavior in science. He was also a whistleblower in the Jesse Gelsinger death case,2 back in 1999. Gelsinger was a young man who had a rare metabolic disorder called ornithine transcarbamylase deficiency syndrome (OTCD), where dangerous amounts of ammonia build up in your blood.

He'd been diagnosed at the age of 2, and was managing his condition with a regimen of nearly 50 drugs a day. At 17, Gelsinger signed up for an investigational gene therapy. Like the COVID shots, the therapy involved injecting a gene attached to an adenovirus, which would be integrated into his DNA to permanently produce an enzyme that prevents ammonia buildup.

Gelsinger was the 18th person to receive the gene therapy, and while the others had only experienced mild side effects, Gelsinger had a severe response after scientists at the University of Pennsylvania administered adenoviruses doses that were far above what had been approved by the corresponding safety committee.

Gelsinger became disoriented and developed jaundice and acute inflammation, followed by a rare blood clotting disorder and multi-organ failure. He was dead within days. Even a decade later, Gelsinger's death is still considered the biggest setback for gene therapy.3

"When the Jesse Gelsinger events happened, I also had long been a deep insider in the gene therapy space, so I had specific knowledge of what had happened at Penn — the ethical transgressions, shall we say, that occurred — and had awareness, again, just like now, of the technology," Malone says. "So, I was able to make sense of things that otherwise were obscure for journalists and even other scientists."

After speaking out about the ethical transgressions that contributed to Gelsinger's death (dosing which exceeded approved levels), Malone became a "persona non-grata" in the gene therapy community. In other words, he was blacklisted by his peers and prevented from participating in gene therapy research.

"That's part of why I went in a different direction with my career and focused on government work and biodefense, supporting the Department of Defense," Malone says. "The lesson learned for me is that I'm able to be resilient, together with my wife's support.

Another key lesson was that your friends will support you through times of crisis if you behave with integrity and maintain your friendships and treat people with respect. I also had a lot of support for having spoken out and taken an ethical high road on that and not compromised myself …

It's part of why I'm comfortable [speaking out now]. People tell me that I come across as balanced and calm. But yes, this is a little bit frightening and once again, [I'm] putting my career on the line. But once again many of my colleagues in the government are grateful that I'm speaking this way. They are not able to have a voice because of their jobs and government policies about speaking out."

Public Responses to Censorship Make a Difference

As explained by Malone, he's been heavily censored since his three-hour interview with Brett Weinstein. LinkedIn even deleted his account. However, LinkedIn users all around the world canceled their accounts in protest and wrote the company, explaining their cancellations were in protest of Malone being censored.

The social media uproar culminated in a major news article in a mainstream Italian paper, which appears to have pushed LinkedIn over the edge. LinkedIn eventually reinstated Malone's account and even sent him a letter of apology.

"I don't think I've ever heard of a company writing a letter of apology after delisting and deleting somebody," he says. "My sins were 'profound,'" he says sarcastically, "They were that I outed the chairman of the board of directors of Reuters who is also sitting on the board of Pfizer, for cross-posting the Wall Street Journal article on vaccine toxicity risks, and well, basically for complaining about censorship.

So, they sent me my list of sins with six different posts that were to pretty much anybody's eye innocuous, which I then took and cross-posted onto Twitter. So, that revealed the absurdity of that … The note [of apology] that I received basically said, 'Look, we don't have the expertise to censor you, but if you cross the line, we have the right to summarily delete you again and so mind your manners.'"

The Repurposing of Drugs to Combat Pandemics

In recent years, Malone has been involved in yet another startup company (Atheric Pharmaceuticals), in collaboration with the DoD, that focused on repurposing drugs to combat Zika infection. That company went bankrupt for lack of investor interest in repurposing drugs for treating infectious diseases.

When the COVID-19 outbreak began, he got a call from a colleague who works in the intelligence community in Wuhan, China, who urged him to put together a team to investigate the possibility of repurposing old drugs against COVID.

His team is currently about to enter clinical trials for a number of licensed off-patent drugs. That said, his biggest contribution so far is probably his commentary on the bioethics of what is going on.

"Both my wife and I are deeply ethical people," he says. "We're high school sweethearts. We try really hard to live ethical lives and to help our fellow man as well as the animals in our lives. So that's just the place we come from. It's bedrock. We're not rich people.

I recall a long telephone call with the Canadian physician that poured his heart out about the situation in Canada that he's encountering, both with vaccine administration in primary practice, and also in administering alternative therapies to outpatients, which generally have no therapies available.

I mean, the position is a bit shocking — in the emergency rooms all across the world. Basically, you go to the ER and if your O2 sets are down, pushing towards 80, they say, 'Well, go [home] and come back when your lips are blue.' And that's the essence of it. They don't really offer anything.

So many physicians, including this gentleman in Canada, have been seeking alternative strategies and they've tested and administered these various agents. We've heard of fluvoxamine, ivermectin, hydroxychloroquine. There are many, many others now, including those that we're working with (famotidine and celecoxib) that seem to have therapeutic benefit when administered early to shut down this hyperinflammatory response.

So, he shared this and the stories of multiple reports of vaccine adverse events that in his clinical judgment were clearly vaccine related, some of them quite serious, and that the Canadian government would summarily dispose of those as non-related even though in his clinical judgment, they clearly were related.

He spoke about the enticement of children in Canada with ice cream and the willingness of the Canadian government to administer vaccine to children without their parents or guardians consent after enticing them with ice cream cones, and some of the other things that I just found shocking ...

It mirrors what we're seeing across the world, where governments are taking liberties with people's health and their rights without real legislative authorization to do so in most cases."

Core Bioethical Principles Are Being Violated

Malone and his wife Jill are both trained in bioethics, so after listening to this Canadian colleague, he decided he could help by writing a lay press opinion piece about the bioethics of experimental vaccines under emergency use authorization.

"I have intimate knowledge of not only the emergency use authorization legislation, the FDA policies behind it, I even know the people that wrote it," Malone says.

"So, we dove in, refreshed our memories on the whole history of the modern bioethics construct that briefly runs from Nuremberg Trials to the Nuremberg Code, to Helsinki Accord, to the Belmont Report in the United States, and to the common rule that exists in the code of federal regulations."

In summary, since the COVID shots only have emergency use authorization status, they are experimental products, and as such, they are not authorized for marketing. The core bioethical principles that apply therefore involve three key components:

1. Bioethics are written into federal law — As an experimental trial participant, which is what everyone is at the moment who accepts a COVID shot, you have the right to receive full disclosure of any adverse event risks. Based on that disclosure, you then have the right to decide whether you want to participate.

Adverse event risk disclosure should be provided at the level of detail disclosed in any drug package insert. However, the COVID shots have no such insert or detailed disclosure, and adverse event reports are even being suppressed and censored from the public.

Instead, as explained by the FDA,4 since the COVID shots are not yet licensed,5 rather than providing a package insert, the FDA directs health care providers to access a lengthy, online "fact sheet" that lists both clinical trial adverse events and ongoing updates of adverse events reported after EUA administration to the public.

A shorter, separate, online fact sheet with far less information in it is available for patients — but, provider or patient, you still have to know where to look up each of the three EUA vaccines separately on the FDA website to access those fact sheets.6

2. Adverse event risks must be communicated in a way that you can comprehend what the risks are — This means the disclosure must be written in eighth grade language. In clinical trials, researchers must actually verify participants' comprehension of the risks.

3. The acceptance of an experimental product must be fully voluntary and uncoerced — enticement is forbidden. "I argue that all of this public messaging that we've all been bombarded with … constitutes coercion," Malone says.

"The most egregious example of this that I've ever seen, is the federal government identifying 12 people … and labeling them as the dirty dozen, [saying] that they are responsible for causing death because they are disseminating what the government has determined to be misleading information about vaccines. This is mind boggling to me and to most of my colleagues."

How Falsehoods Are Getting Top Billing

As you probably know, I am on that "disinformation dozen" list. The irony of this situation is that government officials are really the ones contributing to the deaths by not adhering to bioethical principles that are enshrined in law. It's a classic case of 1984 Orwellian doublespeak.

As I mention in the interview, the "misinformation dozen" list is the creation of the Center for Countering Digital Hate (CCDH), a shady organization funded by dark money that sprung up less than two years ago.

"Yeah, you don't even have to go to dark money. It's out in the open. There's this Trusted News Initiative led by the BBC. They announced … last fall that they have integrated Big Tech, Big Media and new media, Facebook, Google, Microsoft, et cetera, into an organization that was intended to control false narratives relating to elections, but they decided to turn it on what they perceived as false narratives for vaccines," Malone says.

"As if that wasn't enough, the Wellcome Trust and the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation have announced initiatives where they're making block grants to Facebook, which is then funding these new pop-up fact-checker organizations … [that] are employing methods to smear people and to ban information …

What happens is these fact-checker organizations will make their pseudo fact check, like what I experienced with Reuters — which was transparently false, their fact check — and then the media will recycle the fact check. So that moves up in the Google ranking and they're citing themselves. That's what's going on. And it's sponsored by the likes of Wellcome Trust and Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation and they're quite proud of it."

Why Target Children and Pregnant Women?

Considering the unknown risks involved, why are governments and vaccine makers pushing so hard for children and pregnant women to participate in this experiment? Both have an extremely low risk for complications from COVID-19, which makes adverse effects of the vaccine all the more unacceptable, if not all together intolerable.

There's the appearance that there was manipulation of safety data analysis and reporting in the Phase 1, 2, 3 clinical trials … by focusing on patients who had completed the study per protocol, as opposed to those that entered the study as intended to treat. [If] you've only accepted one dose of vaccine under those clinical trial protocols and you have an adverse event … that information about the adverse event … is lost. It's not included in the safety analysis. This is a classic way to manipulate safety data in clinical research, and it's strictly forbidden. ~ Dr. Robert Malone

Making matters worse, there's no process in place to capture all side effects. Somehow, this was left out, and there's evidence to suggest this was done intentionally.

"I think it's important for the listenership to recognize that what we have is still an emerging understanding of what the adverse events are," Malone says. "I could tell you the story of how the cardiotoxicity adverse event was recognized, and it was not through official channels. There is [also] the appearance that the CDC is deliberately under-reporting adverse events to the public.

And there's the appearance that there was manipulation of safety data analysis and reporting in the Phase 1, 2, 3 clinical trials for some of these products by focusing on patients who had completed the study per protocol, as opposed to those that entered the study as intended to treat.

That's a subtle distinction, but what it means is that if you've only accepted one dose of vaccine under those clinical trial protocols and you have an adverse event, and you decide to drop it out, or they gently suggest that you shouldn't take the second dose, that information about the adverse events that you received — which would have made you at even higher risk for the second dose — is lost. It's not included in the safety analysis.

This is a classic way to manipulate safety data in clinical research, and it's strictly forbidden. So, the FDA is onto that trick. Normally, if I was to do that, I would get slapped down immediately. Why they allow these large drug companies to do this (if, in fact they did) — and you can't claim that Pfizer didn't know what they were doing — is beyond me.

Now that we know about the adverse events associated with the cardiotoxicity in adolescents and the damage to the heart and the deaths associated with that, people can start to do calculations based on official CDC data, [but] those data are flawed.

They probably under-report the true adverse event rate by about a 100-fold if you're relying on the various historic analysis information. But you can look at those data. And if you're a data scientist, you can do the calculations that the CDC is not doing and not disclosing to us about risk benefit.

The ones that I've seen done by well-trained and highly experienced specialists, people that work for the insurance industry that do this for a living … come out literally upside down."

If the clinical trials did not include patients dropped after Dose 1 in the safety analysis, this would indicate a "per protocol" safety analysis was performed, and therefore that the safety data analyses leading to the emergency use authorizations were not based on rigorous safety assessments.

Multiple patients claiming to have been included in COVID-19 clinical trials have also reported on social media that their reports were excluded from final safety analyses, although this cannot be verified.

Risks Significantly Outweigh Benefits

A study7 posted July 7, 2021, which looked at deaths occurring in children in the U.K. during the first 12 months of the pandemic, found 99.995% of children diagnosed with COVID-19 survived.

By July 19, 2021, in the United States, a total of 335 children under 18 had died with a COVID-19 diagnosis on their death certificate.8 An analysis by Marty Makary and colleagues at Johns Hopkins, together with FAIR Health, showed none of the children under 18 who died and were diagnosed with COVID-19 between April and August 2020 were free of preexisting medical conditions such as cancer.9

Now, while the average healthy child has a minuscule chance of dying from COVID-19, and their risk of developing heart inflammation from the COVID jab is also quite low, the risk associated with the injection is still significantly greater than any risk associated with the natural infection. As explained by Malone:

"That ratio comes out suggesting that there will be more lives lost to receipt of the 'vaccine' in a universal vaccine campaign than there would be if all those kids were infected by SARS-CoV-2. This upside-down ratio appears to extend or very close to equivalent at least up to the age of 30.

So, we're in a position where the data that we have are admittedly flawed. Is that by intent or what? From my standpoint, the data are the data, so I can't smoke out what somebody within health and human services intended to do, but I can look at the data, and others can.

And the data absolutely do not support a positive risk-benefit ratio for vaccination of infants through young adults, based on any normal criteria. So then why are they doing this crazy stuff? It seems to all be wrapped around the axle of the need to justify universal vaccination.

I argue that this is actually a mid-century policy that goes back to the '50s and the '60s polio vaccine campaign, when the government and world health authorities established a position that it was OK to lie, to withhold information about risk for vaccines, because to have the full spectrum of information about the risks of vaccines would cause people to not accept the vaccine.

So, 'Shut up, we know it's best for you and don't question us' is a firmly authoritarian position. It is intrinsically authoritarian and paternalistic. It's exactly the kind of stuff that George Orwell wrote about in his book '1984.' It was a warning … of how governments and authoritarian structures will behave and do behave."

Denial of Vaccine Dangers Has Been Federal Policy Since 1984

Ironically, Malone points out that in the 1984 Federal Register,10 it's stated that posting information into the federal register about vaccine risks that jeopardizes vaccine I uptake shall be suppressed.

"So, it's a clear federal policy going back to 1984," Malone says. "This is the way they're going to handle things. And they're going to handle it with the noble lie of saying, 'No, there are no risks and what we're doing is fully justified' …

I don't think we have to go to imagining some grand conspiracy at Davos between certain individuals. I think this is an emergent phenomena of the intersection of old-school thinking about information management and new-school capabilities and technologies.

I think the CDC, HHS, WHO, and Wellcome Trust or Bill & Melinda Gates foundation, etcetera, have just grossly misread the population, certainly in the United States. And so now we're in a position where before, according to Del Bigtree, there was about 1% to 2% of people that self-identified as anti-vaxxers, and we're now [above] 40%. Clearly, about 40 to 50% of the population are just dug in. They're not going to accept these vaccines.

The White House now finds it necessary to have a special group to identify and target 12 American citizens for what they believe to be vaccine disinformation, and to make a big public press announcement about it. Don't they have anything else to do? It seems like the world has got bigger problems than Dr. Mercola, but what do I know?

The whole thing is mind-bending. And a lot of people, including many Europeans, are really lit up over this. They remember. European intellectuals are very aware of the dynamics that happened in Germany in the 1930s … I think this could be a turning point in a lot of things."

The Powers That Be Have Been Given Free Reign

While Malone is not interested in speculating about the intentions behind all this malfeasance, he's intimately familiar with the power of Big Pharma to manipulate governments. As detailed in other articles, several of the COVID injection makers have a rich history of illegal activity and unethical behavior, and now they have been given free reign to do as they please.

They're been completely absolved from liability if and when something goes wrong with these injections, and governments are enticing and bullying citizens to participate in Big Pharma's experiment.

"If you give that kind of liberty and power to a global multinational and absolve them of any accountability, they will serve their stockholders," Malone says. "They are not geared to serving the rest of us, whatever they may say in their press releases.

That's just how big pharma behaves, and we've chosen this model. Messaging having to do with alternative treatments and the importance of wellness, those are not consistent with the 'Take this pill, pay your price and shut up' kind of business model.

Personally, I think that Mr. Gates and his foundation have done enormous irreparable harm to world health community through his actions and his own personal biases. He has really distorted global public health. At some point, there will be books written about this, and I'm sure an enormous number of Ph.D. theses will be granted. But meanwhile, we all have to live with it."

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lokidiabolus · 4 years

Text

The Deal - Chapter 2

Fandom: Hazbin Hotel (web series)

Pairing: Alastor / Angel Dust

Warnings: human!Angel Dust (Anthony), Deal with a devil AU

Summary: Sometimes you had nobody to spend the Christmas with. Sometimes you didn’t want to. Sometimes you took a chalk and drew a pentagram on the floor fully ready to deal with anything that would come out as an alternative to self-pity occurring otherwise.

The time when Anthony thought if he can’t get anybody to love him properly, he can just make a deal with a devil and find out what affection feels like. Alastor thinks this mortal is pitiful beyond belief and concede. Cuddles happen.

Can be found on Ao3.

Notes: I think Cajun Alastor is wonderful but for the love of god I can't write that shit, so I apologize in advance. Please pretend it's readable.

Unbetad!

2020, January 16th

“Mamaaa, just killed a man. Put a gun against his head, pulled my trigger, now he’s dead~.”

Alastor raised his head from a book he snatched from Anthony’s poor excuse of a collection and narrowed his eyes. Anthony could see him in the corner of his eye, even though the demon excused himself to the living room because Anthony insisted on playing his music and not Alastor’s radio, and he couldn’t help it was Nicki Minaj for the first three songs. He even put it on shuffle too!

I’ve already died once, don’t need to repeat the experience, Alastor rudely scoffed at Anthony’s phone and left the room, even though he was bragging just night before he’d totally help with cooking. He didn’t even touch the knife before storming out rather than listen to anything modern.

“Mama, life had just begun, but now I've gone and thrown it all away. Mama, ooh, didn't mean to make you cry~,” Anthony singsonged with the melody while grating cheese and could literally feel Alastor’s eyes stabbing the back of his head. Probably not a fan of Queen either.

“If I'm not back again this time tomorrow, carry on, carry on as if nothing really matters~,” he twirled around the counter to get plates out of cupboard, “Too late, my time has come, sends shivers down my spine, body's aching all the time. Goodbye everybody, I've got to go, gotta leave you all behind and face the truth~.”

He made a pirouette and his voice skipped an octave when he almost crashed into Alastor suddenly standing in front of him, right in Anthony’s personal bubble, just looming (which was strange he could, since he was half a head shorter than Anthony, yet it couldn’t be described otherwise). He didn’t say anything, just watched Anthony handle the plates clumsily until the human finally managed to put them on the counter without incident.

“See something you like?” Anthony batted his eyelashes while making a pose with pursed lips and Alastor looked him up and down and smirked:

“Not really.”

“Ouch.”

“What is this song about?” the demon ignored him and nodded towards the phone in the middle of Bohemian Rhapsody, surprisingly sounding curious instead of displeased like before (but alright, it was fair of him to be put off when Anaconda was the first thing he heard, Anthony didn’t blame him).

“Don’t have Freddie in hell?” Anthony chuckled and returned back to filling the plates with Carbonara. It wasn’t like he wanted to fall into an Italian household stereotype but Alastor seemed to like Italian cuisine and it was something Anthony was confident in anyway. Also the praise was always a pretty nice bonus and Anthony might have been fishing for it a little bit.

“Not that I know of,” Alastor hummed. “So what is it about? Murder?”

“I mean… I guess? Sorta?” Anthony shrugged and pushed a plate of steaming food into Alastor’s hands, then gestured towards the table. “Should be about a man who accidentally killed somebody and then sold his soul to the devil.”

“How intriguing!” Of course Alastor would like that topic, grinning like a loon. “You knew the lyrics by heart.”

“It’s a famous song,” Anthony stuck out his tongue. “Everybody knows the lyrics. It’s like an anthem, ya know. Great song.”

“Likeable,” the demon admitted and sat at the table while Anthony handed him a fork and a spoon. “Thank you, dear. Looks splendid as always.”

“I try,” Anthony beamed while sitting down as well. “Oh. Actually, what if I killed somebody too, like, in the future-,”

“Now that would be an adventure, would it not?” Alastor interrupted him with even a wider smile, while the invisible audience cheered, like the idea of murder appealed to him. Why wouldn’t it, as a demon of course he wouldn’t go ew, don’t.

“I’m too pretty for jail, ya know,” Anthony gave him an unamused glare. Alastor hummed in agreement and started eating, his eyes lighting up happily. For a hell person he sure was such a foodie.

“Aww, so you think I’m pretty?” Anthony cooed at him and Alastor glared. It was a thing with this guy – he handled flirtations very badly. Either he got angry or super frustrated, and the latter was honestly so adorable Anthony risked the wrath too often for his own good. “So, what do you like about me?”

“When you don’t talk.” Came a curt reply and Anthony snorted and let him get off the hook.

“What I meant was – what if I killed somebody but didn’t want to go to jail. And wanted to make a deal with you about keeping me safe from them? Would it work?”

“Why wouldn’t it work?” Alastor glanced at him from the food. “Safety is nothing difficult to achieve.”

“I mean,” Anthony leaned against his palm. “We already made a deal. Can you make two deals with the same person?”

“I can make as many deals as I want with the same person,” Alastor answered while twirling his fork in spaghetti. “Why would you think I could not?”

“Not that ya couldn’t but… more like it’s not worth it for ya anymore, right?” Anthony suggested and it seemed like he made an interesting point, since Alastor stopped eating to fully concentrate on the problem. “As in, ya already have my soul-,”

“Heart.”

“And undying love, of course,” Anthony winked at him, earning an eyeroll. Fair. “But another deal would not give ya anything else. Ya already have what ya wanted.”

“Oh, indeed,” the demon nodded thoughtfully. “Obviously true. It depends on the individual. Some demons can take years off the remaining life of the mortal, or actually only state the remaining years for their service, then come collect the life once the time is up.”

“Like they give ya an amazing painting skill, but you have… ten years to live and enjoy the fame?” Anthony prompted and Alastor nodded in agreement. “That sounds… pretty rough. Why would anybody take that?”

“Why would anybody do anything? Mortals are greedy. They want to be acknowledged. Or they fight sheer, absolute boredom and want to elevate it by any means necessary,” the demon tapped his claws against the table in quick staccato. “You think it is not worth it?”

“I mean maybe when I’m fifty, sure, ten years sounds fine,” Anthony shrugged. “But ten years from now? I guess I’d be bummed.”

“Maybe you are not thinking big enough,” Alastor gave him a wide smile. “Not all demons take remaining life force though. Everybody has different methods if necessary. Though the heart is usually a priority.”

“Not for everybody though?”

“Some don’t want underlings,” the demon opposed. “Some only work for Hell itself and don’t take anything, only assure the soul will belong to Hell once the mortal die. Some actually feed on the life force of humans. Hell is having all kind of horrors you can think of, you see.”

“At least yer a daydream,” Anthony winked and Alastor’s smile twitched. Easy. “Building your own harem down there, ya kinky bastard.”

“And here I thought we’re having a meaningful conversation,” the demon sighed and returned to the food, which made Anthony snicker.

“I mean… what do I know, it could be,” he teased him. “What else would ya need some poor bastard’s hearts to do your bidding?”

“To tell them when they need to close their pretty mouths shut if they want to keep them,” Alastor smiled at him sweetly, his crimson eyes shining, and alright, okay, threats on Thursday evening were a thing now. Anthony imitated a zipper on his mouth and quieted down, but still, it was kind of hilarious. Maybe a week ago he’d still be afraid of Alastor pouncing at over the table and slashing his throat but now it was more like no talk, I’m angy sort of meme.

The silence didn’t last very long when Alastor set the fork down and looked at Anthony with curiosity.

“You are full of vigour today,” he observed. “Something good happened? You seem to be in jolly mood.”

“Just glad ya could make it,” Anthony grinned. Alastor became very reliable when it came to the dinner dates and weekend plans after the New Year’s fiasco, never missed one when he promised to come. They found a certain rhythm in the cohabitation and Anthony got used to his presence maybe a little too fast. The man was an enigma with the way he behaved – they slept huddled together no problem, Alastor could be super clingy when he wanted to (rarely though, usually more like only when somehow too tired), but once they were out of the bedroom, any contact was met with stiffness or a five foot rule. The latter became a thing about a week after New Year’s thanks to Anthony’s inability to keep his hands to himself when it came to Alastor’s fluffiness. The hair, the ears and the tail that wagged when he liked something enough, which obviously couldn’t leave Anthony calm, right? A damn cute fluffy wagging tail just… there, for touching.

Well, Alastor wasn’t amused, not by a long shot. The moment Anthony gathered enough courage and touched the thing, the edge of Alastor’s microphone was pushing against his chest to keep him away, and he would have sworn there were creepy symbols flying all around the demon’s head like he was ready to let Anthony get swallowed by some Eldritch monster. Therefore five foot rule became a thing unless it was Alastor who initiated the touch – which was another weird thing about the man. He had no respect for personal space whatsoever, like at all, when he wanted to point out something, make a statement or just felt like it, but once somebody else breached his personal bubble, he bristled like a cat with murderous intent. So Anthony kept his hands to himself but started flirting. Honestly kind of expected a five words rule to happen at some point, but until then he just wanted to have his fun.

“I see,” Alastor watched him carefully and then picked the fork again. “And here I thought you won a lottery or maybe fell in love.”

“Yer the only love of my life, don’t ya worry,” Anthony winked because he could and Alastor let out a sigh that honestly didn’t even sound that fed up, more like just out of habit. “But like. It’s kinda convenient. If somebody confessed to me, that is.”

“Oh?” Alastor’s eyes were sharp.

“My heart belongs to another!” Anthony stated dramatically and then let out a small laugh. “Not even lying? Like. My heart is taken, literally, by the deal we made, it would be like an ultimate move.”

The demon seemed to ponder it, then said nothing. Probably didn’t want to rain on Anthony’s parade on shutting him down needlessly. Naturally, Anthony didn’t think any romance was possible, or even vaguely interesting for the demon, so all his jabs were good-natured but without seriousness.

Or almost all of them. He would be lying if he didn’t admit at least to himself he liked Alastor as a person, not only as a convenient body pillow with Bambi tail he didn’t even let him touch. But such thoughts were private, and he kept them hidden and locked inside of his mind. He learned well enough not to hope to protect himself, and the only relationship there could be was a master and an underling – eventually. Once Anthony die.

Though… who knew when he was going to die. Was Alastor willing to do this his whole life? What if he was going to live to 80? Was he going to cuddle with him and eat dinners every three days in a week for 49 years?

But then again… what is time for a demon? He didn’t even know how old Alastor was. By appearance he’d say maybe around Anthony’s age, but then again, he was never half deer so… could be different. Did deer age count the same as dogs?

“If you ever needed an excuse for that kind of thing,” Alastor suddenly spoke, his voice staticky as always, a weirdly comforting noise lately. “I would recommend saying your husband has a wide collection of knives. It usually scares people away.”

“Pfff.” Husband. “Would need a ring for that, ya know.”

“Mhm,” the demon hummed, not adding anything else. Seriously. He just kept leaving so many openings, there was no way Anthony would not use those when he had a chance.

“So how many knives you have, husband?” he sent him a bright smile and Alastor carefully twirled carbonara on his fork before putting it to his mouth primly, chewed and then gulped down, as a show of how not amusing the jab was, Anthony thought.

Then, after another moment: “About twelve.”

Anthony made a croaking noise and completely missed a smile Alastor hid with another bite of food.

***

“Anthony.”

“Mmmm?”

The clock showed 1 in the morning and Anthony couldn’t fall asleep, no matter how hard he cuddled Alastor under the blanket. He tossed and turned and Alastor had to pull him back to him about ten times, but sleep eluded them both, even with the white noise of Alastor’s static floating around that usually lulled Anthony well enough.

“Can you play the murder song again,” Alastor requested from under Anthony’s weight, sprawled around the middle of the bed.

“Hah, sure,” the human reached for his phone resting on the nightstand and almost blinded himself when the display lit up. He clicked few times until Bohemian Rhapsody broke the silence of the otherwise quiet flat before returning back to lie on top of his demon.

“Sing with it too?” another request and Anthony prompted his chin on Alastor’s chest.

“Can’t sleep either?”

“You keep tossing and turning,” Alastor said simply. “Not me. Sing?”

Anthony raised an eyebrow, but there was no reasoning for the request, so he just softly sang along with the music, looking at Alastor with half lidded eyes until he couldn’t hold them open anymore. The song eventually ended, and Anthony finally felt sleep tugging on his consciousness like he just performed a lullaby that worked a bit too well.

“You asked about more deals for one person before,” he distantly felt a hand going through his hair and only hummed. “For you, my dear, I would close more deals if you ever asked me.”

“Aww,” he chuckled sleepily, his arms circling Alastor’s torso with possessiveness.

“The happier you are,” he heard, “the better your psyche becomes. The stronger the demon you’d be down there.”

“Boo, how cold,” Anthony pouted. “And here I thought ya actually liked me, at least a little.”

“You are… tolerable.” Anthony missed the small smile playing on Alastor’s lips, his face buried in the man’s red shirt. “But I am a professional, you see.”

“A professional dealmaker,” he yawned.

“Quite so.”

“Ya have that in your resume too?” Anthony couldn’t stop the tease. “Ya know, next to professional cuddler?”

“Probably as much as you have an immense tease in yours,” the demon uttered and his voice was thundering in his chest, which was weird, because it sounded like a completely different person without the static echo. Anthony liked it though.

“Sure, but also a good cook,” the human chuckled, “and a quality wife, ya see.”

A hum, then silence. Anthony considered the conversation closed, until Alastor spoke again softly: “There are always ways to get something in return for another deal, beside the servitude or life force.”

“Mmmlikewhat.”

“Why don’t you find out yourself?”

And with that Anthony fell asleep before any kind of dirty joke could come out.

***

2020, January 17th

It stayed in his head the whole next day. He kept thinking about it at home when getting ready to go out, then at work when taking orders and wondered, if a favourite dish made for dinner would be a possible kind of payment for the deal in Alastor’s book. What a demon like him could possibly want beside the heart he already got? He knew Alastor enjoyed good food, but was that actually something that could be exchanged for a supernatural request?

Or was it something kinky, like that in hell the only title Anthony would be able to use when talking to him would be Master? Or My Lord? Anthony could see himself do that, sure, though only in a joke to rile him up a little.

Funny how any fear of the guy went down the drain after the Bambi revelation, no matter how scary Alastor tried to be sometimes.

“Love, this is the third time you messed up an order, are you okay?” his colleague patted his shoulder and he blinked at her in confusion.

“Oh shit, did I?” he realized, after a long loading screen in his brain completed, what she just said and snapped back to reality where the demon in red didn’t bat his eyelashes at him. Not that he ever did. But he could dream. “I’m so sorry, my mind is in a gutter.”

“Yeah, can see that,” the girl patted his arm this time. He wasn’t sure why she was so touchy-feely all of sudden, but didn’t comment on it. “Something on your mind?”

“Weekend plans,” he shrugged and well, he wasn’t even lying, really. This was their weekend together and since Alastor didn’t mention any kind of obstacle in attending, it was Anthony’s turn to think of something to do. The forecast looked glum though, so going outside was probably not the best choice of outing, unless it would be short, so indoors activity sounded a little more satisfying. Maybe they could order some good food home, rather than cook this time. Or drink. Oooh, they could actually drink! He wondered if Alastor even liked alcohol.

“Man, Tony, are you in love or something?” the girl sighed, snapping her fingers in front of him. “You keep spacing out!”

“Well,” he glanced at her with a grin. “My heart has definitely been taken-,”

“In which gangbang this time?” another colleague cut in, smiling at him with fake sweetness while putting empty glasses in the sink with a loud thud. He didn’t even see her coming. “Did they pay you enough to buy you completely? Or just a quickie outside like always?”

Ouch.

“Don’t be salty just because nobody would fuck you even for free,” he cocked his hips. “Heard duster is good for cobwebs though.”

“Whatever you say, slut,” she made a face at him. “I’m not being the one spreading STD.”

“Good at spreading bullshit though,” he shot back, making her give him an uptight smile and a smack of her ponytail when she dramatically turned away and left for the kitchen. He decided not to comment on that and was kind of glad the other girl kept her mouth shut too.

Obviously, everybody at work knew about the New Year’s and his fall from grace – though that would indicate there was grace to begin with, which honestly was not. Maybe he should start looking for another job with how bleak things looked in this pub. The whole week after New Year’s random guys kept making pass at him even in his regular waiter clothes, like somebody just decided to advertise the pub as fuck-to-go eatery and it made his skin itch, especially when some of them were more handsy than others and didn’t understand no sent their way. A slap on his butt there, a grope here, hey cutie called from another table, and the girls he worked with either glared at him or had nasty remarks he should have already been able to deflect, but sometimes he just could not. He wasn’t made of sugar, some bad words and pointed fingers didn’t make him cry, but they didn’t add to good mood either.

He was always relieved if that evening Al showed up and took his worries away with the well-known staticky voice and invisible audience cheering at some of his bad dad jokes. Honestly, he had lots of bad dad jokes it was almost unreal, and the saddest thing was he unironically liked them while Anthony groaned every time he told some. He was just glad so far Alastor didn’t use those cringe worthy abominations against the flirting, because that would definitely shut Anthony down fast.

There were still four hours to his shift and for the first time since he knew Alastor he regretted the demon didn’t have a phone, so he could hear his voice while he locked himself in the bathroom stall with knees under his chin and quivering lip.

***

Anthony still didn’t know what to do over the weekend. It felt like he should have a plan, like there should be a diary or something, with post-it notes and differently coloured entries, but all he could do when he got back home was to sag down in the living room like a bag of potatoes on the couch and open a bottle of tequila. No limes, no salt, just the bottle and big gulps of it. He chugged it several times until the annoying tightness in his chest slowly eased off, until he could breathe normally and the bitter words he heard every time he turned his back towards the bar dissolved in burning taste of alcohol.

Who cared. People were mean and greedy, and he was broken and rotten to the core. Those things usually never combined well together, and he was a living proof. When was the last time he even had a friend? When did somebody expressed concern for him? Damn, when even was the last time somebody held his hair when he threw up?

Self-centred bitch. Show-off. Attention seeker. Dirty slut. A whore.

All fun and smiles and oh, I will do your make up, sweetie, oh, let me do your hair, honey, oh, this costume looks so cute on you, and oh, was it just a quickie outside or you fucked the whole train station? Did he just give you a ride home or you sucked his dick for it? Oh, new shoes? Which sugar daddy’s money was it today?

“Nobody’s fuckin’ money!” he yelled at nothing, swinging the almost empty bottle of tequila around. “None of yer fuckin’ business!”

Maybe we should do next costume event BDSM themed, our little darling angel Tony would love to lick somebody’s boots again.

“Fuck off!” A loud shattering noise when the bottle hit the wall felt like his sanity was breaking to pieces. “Just leave me the fuck alone…”

His brain was so hazed he barely registered arms circling around him, pulling him into a hug. He was swayed from side to side with a soft, crooning noise above him, and thought damn, how bad is it I even hallucinate? Up until he finally focused enough to realize he was engulfed with blackness without any real warmth, just suddenly there, holding him.

“Oh…” he chuckled pathetically. “It’s you.”

The Shadow nuzzled his face but didn’t say anything, just continued to hold him. Frankly, Anthony had no idea what day it was, even what time or where exactly he ended up, if he moved at all, if Alastor was supposed to come but couldn’t make it, so he sent Junior instead, or if this was some kind of weird, alcohol induced vision of much needed comfort.

“Whacha do’n her’, big boy?” The words were slurring together, the alcohol was doing its magic. “Al’s busy busy busy?”

Another nuzzle. Was that a touch therapy? Nobody touched him so readily before. Not even Al who cuddled him at night, but usually touched him only in two prime locations – his waist and around neck and head for pats, but otherwise kept his hands to himself. The Shadow on the other hand just pawed at him pretty much like a big dog wanting to rub all over and Anthony blearily wondered how a man and his shadow could be so different.

“Th’re, t’re,” he patted the Shadow’s head, a strange ghost-like tingling going through his hand. “Ar’ ya sad too?”

The hold remained and the dark tendrils from the shade were covering half of the couch like an expensive Persian rug. That mental image made Anthony bark out a drunken laugh. Could somebody’s shadow be sad? It was clinging to him like a lifeline and Anthony felt the tequila churning in his belly as if it were trying to burn its way through.

“Ah,” he finally realized what the shadow was doing. “Yer tryin’ t’ comf’rt me.”

A hum, clearly agreeing. It made Anthony relax into the hold, feeling a little like floating and not sitting on his tequila-stained couch, and yeah, it was relaxing, it was nice, it was… different.

“Wond’r how Al’s hugs ar’,” he sighed then giggled stupidly. “Prob’ly warm an’ nice. D’es he ev’n hug pe’ple?”

Maybe he did hug people. Just different people. Not Anthony, at least. Touching only when necessary. Maybe he could make a deal about hugging, Al said more deals are possible. Maybe he could ask for one hug a week or something, like one full body hug and then wait for seven days for Al to get his barriers back… or whatever he had. Human contact aversion, probably. He just wasn’t sure what to give in return. Being a personal cook? Not flirting at any point ever again?

Would Al even want shit like that? Or would he want some of his life force? Years off his back? He would give them… for Alastor. If he wanted his life force, Anthony wouldn’t mind if it was him. His life was not worth much anyway.

Would Alastor want something as rotten as his life energy though? Sure, he wanted his heart at least, but it just meant to have a servant later on, nothing he would feed himself with.

Unless he ate his servants. That would kinda suck.

“I k’nda like ‘im, y’kno,” he confessed quietly, slowly slipping lower in the hold. The anger he felt was already gone, now the tequila tried to pull at melancholy, and he didn’t like it. Didn’t need to be sad over the fact the only person at least vaguely resembling affectionate concern was a demon from hell that got paid with his soul and heart for acting out of his character three times a week. “Path’tic me, huh.”

Nuzzling ensued. He liked Al’s shadow. He was like a big animal soaking up bad vibes and making Anthony calmer.

“Wish I c’n talk to ‘im when I feel sad,” he mumbled to himself and barely registered the shadow pulled them both down to the cushions. “’s he French? He sounded French ‘nce…”

“Cajun,” rang through the room and Anthony attempted to focus, but his vision kept on blurring. Maybe he drank too much after all. “Louisiana.”

“Bayou boy?” he giggled anyway. “That’s cute.”

“You drank too much, cher,” rang through the room again and then another sigh came, and radio static buzzed to life. “And you. I was wondering where you slithered to.”

There was a rumble from under Anthony and he felt the force supporting him up to now disappearing until he only felt the couch around him and nothing else. He blinked in confusion before his vision cleared enough to realize all the darkness around him was gone, but legs clothed in red were standing next to him instead. They definitely weren’t there prior to his meltdown, he remembered as much.

He rubbed his eyes and attempted to look up before it finally dawned on him that this was Alastor standing here, flesh and bone and he didn’t even need to get all the way up to his face.

“Look at you,” the voice sounded a little exasperated and human. There was no static whatsoever. “Dat’s da second time you did somethin’ like dis.”

“Hi, Al,” Anthony tried sheepishly, and a clawed hand pushed him back into the cushions when he tried to sit down. Maybe for the best, the floor seemed to wobble more than usual.

“Hi yo’self,” the human voice was so warm. Or maybe he was drunk enough to imagine it that way. “How’s dat you make my shadow to just go and disappear from ‘ell just fo’ you?”

“I guess he likes me,” Anthony slid down the armrest and finally took in the whole Alastor’s height, gazing at his face he couldn’t read even if he tried to. He watched the demon look around until he stopped at the corner where the bottle landed and fell apart and his eyebrows knitted together.

“Hey Al,” Anthony raised a hand and tried to grab at something of the mans’ but missed. He tried few more times but couldn’t decide which of the three Alastors were the right one, so he just fumbled around until Alastor took a pity on him and grabbed his hand in his, stilling him. Also, warm. So, so warm. “Do you ever hug people?”

“No,” the demon answered back simply. “Do you?”

Anthony took a breath with sure answer, then stopped and thought about it.

“…I guess not,” he conceded momentarily. “Nobody t’ hug, really.”

“D’you wanna hug?” came a question and Anthony looked at their joined hands and let out a long, tired sigh.

“Ya,” he croaked out. “I wanna hug. I dun even rememb’r who or when I hugged someb’dy last.”

“I think I hugged ma mum last,” Alastor slowly lowered himself on the couch, sitting at Anthony’s feet, his hand still gripping his prey tightly. “Long time ago.”

“Was she nice?” the human whispered softly.

“Very nice.”

“Do ya miss her?”

“Ev’ry day,” Alastor had the softest expression Anthony ever saw on him. It was almost painful to see and yet somehow beautiful it would be a waste not to look. He wondered if Alastor was ever in love with somebody other than his mum.

“She in heaven?” he asked gently and only got a nod as a response. He felt his head clearing a little and hoped he would remember this tomorrow as clearly as he saw it now. He tried to scramble up, though it probably was the least dignified climb he ever did and then shuffled close to the demon, sitting down with his knees almost touching Alastor’s thigh. Almost.

“Tell me ‘bout her,” he nudged him gently.

The demon tilted his head, the buzz of the static coming to life all of sudden it almost startled him. Probably not the best topic to breach, he realized and looked down at the clawed hand that was still holding his with surprising gentleness.

“Your shadow is pretty independent, huh,” he changed the topic for peace of mind of both of them, and the buzzing intensified. Fuck, not that either.

“My shadow has no filter,” the static voice rang out, the tenseness of Alastor’s smile indicating the situation bothered him more than he let on at first. “He does what feels right.”

So, it felt right for it to come here and comfort Anthony when he felt like shit and wanted to drink himself into stupor?

“It’s nice sometimes,” Anthony tried carefully. “To do what feels right instead of worryin’ ‘bout consequences.”

The static picked up in obvious disagreement and Alastor was glaring at him, his eyes redder than ever.

“Like you do all your miserable life?” the demon uttered venomously, and Anthony felt his heart drop into his stomach and dissolve. When Alastor let go of his hand and abruptly stood up, it felt so far away it could have been considered out of body experience for how cold it suddenly became.

“Well,” his mouth moved by some miracle, though he felt his lower lip quiver. “Some days are hard and lonely. And then I get called a slut at work and groped by random guys because they think they’re allowed, and I feel like I need a hug and safety, but nobody can give me what I want, so I cling to somethin’ that feels right at least a little, even though it’s not good… or healthy… or… “

Sincere and not a lie.

“Or I just wanna forget all that shit by doin’ more dumb shit, because… why not. At least it makes me free for a while, other than just… surviving,” he tried to take a breath but it came in wet and hiccup-y and he realized he was already crying like a pathetic fool thinking a demon could give a shit about anything more than the end of the deal and one more chess piece on his black and white board.

Fucking, stupid idiot, like always. Even though he knew. He knew.

The static was so loud now it made Anthony cover his ears and shut his eyes and he felt sick in the stomach and the fucking tequila wanted to fuck him up now, because why not now, at this exact moment, when everything else was falling apart.

Just go away, go the fuck away, leave me alone.

Then everything stopped. When Anthony opened his eyes, he was alone.

***

2020, January 18th

Anthony woke up on the couch with a crick in his neck and stomach unstable like nitro-glycerine ready to explode. The room smelled of tequila shots and vomit and heartbreak and his whole body was in weird, gut wrenching spasm.

He stared into the ceiling with a splitting headache and wished he’d draw a blank about last night, because nothing about this situation gave a merciful vibe, only bad, bad consequences.

Like Alastor leaving, angry and staticky and cruel.

“FUUUUCK!” he yelled into silence and then grabbed a pillow so he could shout in it again as loud as he could. Regret immediately followed, but he probably deserved to suffer a bit more than usual after a vicious hangover and a dealmaker break up.

Obviously Alastor thought Anthony’s life was miserable. Even Anthony knew it was miserable, he was living it, and he got it. He even made a deal with a devil to make himself less miserable which only added to the pathetic part of the diagnose, so in the end there was nothing much left of him but a huge, pitiful mess.

And Alastor got dragged right into it – a failure after failure, just picking him up with all those fake smiles to keep the deal going because at the end the reward was guaranteed, but it was pretty apparent the equation was not adding up and the result could never be good enough for the demon’s standards.

He just wondered if there was a way to break the deal anyhow, from the demon’s side. There was no way Alastor was coming back after all that, and if he was by some miracle, then only to deliver a killing blow, collecting the soul at least and then leaving him to get eradicated in hell like any other lesser shade.

He managed to drag himself to the bathroom and sat on the toilet lid for 27 minutes before deciding to make himself throw up rather than wait if it would come by itself. It didn’t make him feel any better, sadly, so he just took a shower to get rid of all the sweat and guilt (sadly didn’t work for that one) under streams of water and remained there with head pressed against tiles in hope he would melt through the drain.

Would be honestly quite helpful.

“Anthony?”

He blinked. Did he just hear his name or…?

“Anthony, my good fellow, are you still alive?” Again.

That was Alastor‘s voice. Anthony stared at the door of the shower stand, afraid to even make a sound until he heard his name called once more and that couldn’t be his imagination anymore, right?

“…yeah?” he made himself talk but refused to step out.

“Good! You are still here,” Alastor’s voice was closer now, probably in the hallway. “I am taking your kitchen for now, but please do join me at your convenience!”

Happy, loud voice. The fake cheeriness he heard few times and learned how to recognize – he usually acted like that when he was mad at Anthony for needless flirting but refused to show it.

It made no sense. Why was he here?

The water started to run cold and Anthony gritted his teeth and turned it off, just to carefully step out, bundle up in a towel and added a fluffy bathrobe before cautiously leaving the bathroom. Jazz was playing through the radio in the kitchen and Alastor was humming along while the sound of cutting and simmering added to the ambience.

Was he cooking?

The human stopped near the entrance to the living room and took a deep breath. He wasn’t ready to face him just yet, he still felt like a raw bundle of nerves on two wobbly feet. It was ridiculous – Alastor didn’t exactly do anything wrong. He just stated how things were, Anthony hadn’t been told for the first or last time in his life for sure. He had no right to be mad about the truth.

It was just… such a bad timing. After having a bad day, after going through a depressive episode where the self-loathing starred in the main role, then get this thrown in his face like a hot potato just hurt. Rightfully. But still hurt.

“Are you going to stand there all day?” the staticky voice interrupted his thoughts and the tone was much less cheery now. It made his stomach drop and he unconsciously took a step back. There was a clink sound of a knife being put down and then steps leading towards him, which immediately made him panic and he shut the door to the living room with a loud slam.

The steps halted.

“Should I leave?” Came a question from the other side of the door, loud and clear and scary.

“I don’t know,” Anthony answered back, his hands shaking. It sucked. He should not be this way; he didn’t make a deal for feeling worse than on his normal bad days. He made a deal to be lied to, to be coddled, and then to die and suffer for being a coward, and that was it.

“I will if you want me to,” Alastor said quietly. “I am not here to torture you. Or make you feel bad.”

Too late, bucko.

“I crossed a line yesterday.” It sounded suspiciously like an apology, Anthony thought. “I apologize for saying what I said.”

“What, the truth?” Anthony snorted and leaned against the closed door, eyebrows knitted together unhappily. “Ya don’t need to worry about that one.”

“It upset you.”

“That’s what the truth does.”

“Yes, agreed,” there was a hint of guilt in Alastor’s voice, no matter how he tried to hide it with his radio nonsense. “I was upset too. But still… I should not have lashed out like that.”

Upset?

Anthony turned his head, partly facing the door. What was even Alastor upset about? He just suddenly got all staticky in there, just because Anthony asked… about his mum?

“Because I asked about your mum?” he tried and Alastor on the other side sighed.

“I am going to open the door now,” he stated instead, and Anthony immediately caught the handle in refusal with an immediate no. “Anthony.”

“I don’t get ya,” the human groaned, holding the door closed like it was a lifeline. “I just don’t get ya, why are ya even here? Why were ye so mad yesterday? For a while ya were the nicest person in the whole fuckin’ world and then ya kicked me when I was already on the fuckin’ ground, so why now? Why pretend yer a nice guy when ye don’t care?”

Silence.

“Just because I asked ‘bout her? Ya think it’s somethin’ I can hold against ya in hell or what?” He had no idea if Alastor was still even there. It was deadly silent on the other side, he probably just poofed out of thin air again rather than listen to this.

“No,” sounded behind him all of sudden and it made him curse loudly when he suddenly faced Alastor in his red shirt, with coat nowhere to be seen, his sleeves rolled up and his face not smiling at all. If anything, he actually looked quite hurt.

Fucking filthy lying bastard, that one. Actor worthy of a Golden Globe.

“That’s cheatin’,” Anthony scoffed but Alastor didn’t seem to mind it. He wasn’t immediately in his personal bubble, but he wasn’t far either and it made Anthony unable to collect his thoughts properly. All he wanted was to shout and maybe smack him a bit too. But the demon could bite his arms off, so he refrained from doing anything but glare.

“You seem to like my shadow much better,” Alastor said evenly.

Anthony didn’t get how that was relevant to anything.

“He likes to hug,” he said lamely.

“You like him because he hugs you?” Alastor’s expression morphed into a surprise and Anthony really didn’t get why was he asking about his shadow now of all times.

“Wha… who cares?” he stared at the demon, hating he felt cornered like an animal. “How’s yer shadow even relevant to this conversation?”

“I thought you were asking why I was upset,” Alastor looked away for a while, a strangely nervous gesture. “Therefore, I’m telling you.”

“Because I seem to like yer shadow better?” Anthony almost lost his jaw for how low it dropped and holy fucking shit, was Alastor fidgeting? Was he for real? Was it some refined plan for Anthony to drop his defences again? To act cute as fuck?

His fucking ears were droopy too, Anthony realized, his eyes glued to the top of the demon’s head. No. no no no. This couldn’t be real.

“Are you fuckin’ with me?”

“Since I made a deal with you,” Alastor ignored the question, but still avoided his eyes. “I felt like I lack complete control for some reason. It makes me uneasy when things do not work the way they are supposed to. The way I want them to.”

At that moment it finally hit him.

“You didn’t order yer shadow to come here even once,” Anthony stated, and the static crackled again until Alastor shook his head to get rid of it. Oh. He really didn’t like when things were out of his reach. And his shadow just fucking off to visit the human must have been one of them, especially yesterday.

“But… but you can’t blame me for that?” the human insisted, his eyes wide. “It’s not like I called him here or…”

“Of course not,” Alastor let out a sigh. “He just acts on his feelings.”

“Your shadow likes me?”

“You keep referring to him like he is a completely different person,” the demon crossed his arms on his chest. His forearms were scarred and for some reason showing that bit of skin now seemed like a big step for the man, though Anthony wouldn’t really call him vulnerable. Still scary as fuck.

Silence. Alastor tilted his head to the side, then pursed his lips and looked away again.

“He is not,” he added for good measure. “We are the same being.”

Anthony gaped.

“He has no filter,” he repeated, the conversation yesterday so clear even despite his drunken state, and the more he was staring at Alastor in front of him, the more the demon in red seemed to fluster.

“I, for one,” the demon finally spoke, “have tons of filters. We seem to disagree when it comes to you. On how to… handle you.”

Full body hug versus five foot rule is a pretty wide gap, Anthony mused, still gaping.

“I was unfair yesterday,” Alastor cleared his throat. “You are not… well, of course you are pretty miserable, honestly,” he looked him over, and yeah, okay, fair. He must have looked like complete shit with the hangover, now bundled up in fluffiness of the bathrobe. “There’s no denying it, and you are at least aware of it. But that was not supposed to make you feel bad. It is why we are going to fix this. Eventually.”

“Fix…?” Anthony repeated, not being able to get his expression under control.

“Yes. And then you will die and that would be it, but that is not important right now,” Alastor shook his head again, his voice softer. “Now… you are alive. And you need me.”

“Cocky, aren’t ya,” Anthony sniffed a little. “Mr. Control Freak.”

“At least I don drink tequila like a savage,” Alastor scoffed, the static dropping from his voice like a curtain. “No class at all, cher.”

“Bite me,” Anthony flipped him off and finally opened the door to the living room. Somehow it felt like a gateway where his insecurity had no way to pass and when he walked through, his chest was not so tight anymore.

Then he realized there was a dead deer in the living room, and he hurled out the rest of his stomach contents.

“Tu as fait un gâchis,” Alastor said and went back to the kitchen.

No. No nice things. Alastor was a fucking freak.

#hazbin hotel #radiodust #alastor x angel dust #au #the deal series #human!Angel Dust

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