#the julian bashir chronicles

[basingstokemercury]

Julian Bashir on kindness and the sanctity of life (compilation)

(The Wire)

(Past Tense)

(Life Support)

(Hippocratic Oath)

(In Purgatory's Shadow)

(Ties Of Blood And Water)

(Inquisition)

[fenixseraph]

A pair of Xenoblade Chronicles 3 x Star Trek: Deep Space 9 crossover pics, inspired by some comments from @desertpogona‘s streams of XB3.

First pic is Taion Bashir dealing with Eunie Dax and Lanz O’Brien’s goblin shenanigans, and second is Taion Odo and Eunie Kira reenacting the funny cloud scene.

[youngpettyqueen]

alright as promised- Julian and Garak and Garashir thoughts on A Stitch in Time!

also, I am going to note before I even begin. yes, I ship Garashir, but im also going to focus on not viewing their dynamic entirely through a shipping lens. Garashir as a ship will be brought up, yes, but im making a concentrated effort to also discuss their relationship as presented because them as a duo compels me even without my shipping goggles on

without further ado, lets get into it-

I think the most important thing to take from how Julian and Garak are presented in A Stitch in Time is that Garak cares about Julian very, very deeply. whether you interpret that as romantic or not is up to you, but its at least made very clear that Garak cares about Julian. a lot. which, yes, we know from the show that Garak cares, but the depth of his care is truly revealed in this book

I think its safe to say that this book is the most open we see Garak be with Julian. and im not just saying in their scenes together- this entire book was written by Garak, for Julian to read. a chronicle of his history, entries made during their time on DS9, and letters written about what he's doing now on Cardassia, all written for Julian to read. this book is, quite literally, Garak showing everything he is to Julian. which is fucking incredible. we know Garak is a closed-off person and very defensive of himself, we see exactly WHY he's that way, and we're seeing that only because he's spelling it all out to give to Julian. this is an openness that Garak hasn't ever afforded himself in a relationship. and I think its for good reason that the first time he is this open and this honest, its with Julian

I was deeply compelled by Garak's point of view on his and Julian's relationship in the entries that took place during DS9. I love how distant they became from each other, and how strained things got. I never would've read it that way with just the show, and now I cant wait to do a rewatch with this new information in mind. Garak thinks Julian has ended their relationship, he thinks Julian doesnt want to learn any more from him, and he doesnt understand why. he's upset about it- he's mad! his feelings are hurt! but he cant let go. and that ties in with the sentimentality we see in Garak throughout the rest of the book. Garak could no more let go of his connection with Julian than he could his connection with Paladine when he was still on Cardassia. he still answers when Julian calls. he still calls Julian himself. even drifted apart, theyre still connected. they still care. and thats why they come back together before the end of the series- they still love each other. platonically, romantically, however you want to interpret it, you cannot deny that these two love each other

as for Julian's side of this rift. I dont think Julian sees their relationship as over, but I think he can tell something's off. Julian is very awkward in many of his scenes with Garak, and doesnt seem to know how to approach him, or even how to talk to him sometimes. whatever Julian believes is going on here, he knows something's wrong. so, in true Julian fashion, even though he doesnt know what to do or say, he reaches out. he keeps reaching out. he goes out of his way to get Garak's favourite food hand-made. he answers when Garak calls. he calls Garak. he tries to apologize. he tries, he tries, he tries. because he knows, whatever's going on, that he wants to be there for Garak. he wants to help. such is the nature of Julian Bashir- he always just wants to help

I love that his attempts to help are clumsy. the argument Julian and Garak have about Federation vs Cardassian politics is great! because we know Julian is trying to help, but Julian has a habit of being a bit condescending and even arrogant in assuming his way is the right way, and I love that Garak actually gets mad about it here. this argument really highlights just how different Julian and Garak are, but it also serves to point out just how strained Garak is with everything going on with the Dominion and Cardassia at this point. Garak is surprised at his own outburst, and I think part of it is because he's typically better at hiding his feelings, but I also think part of it is that he's this mad towards Julian. I dont think its a stretch to say that this might be reminding Garak of the events of Our Man Bashir. that episode comes up multiple times throughout the DS9 entries, and is an event that Garak associates with him and Julian drifting apart. its also the episode where we see Garak get mad at Julian about these same things- namely his arrogance, in assuming he can save everyone and that things will work out. while at first it surprised me that Garak saw these events as driving a wedge between him and Julian, in hindsight, I think it makes total sense

the idea of Julian pulling away from Garak after Our Man Bashir is what makes it make complete sense. Julian trying to apologize in the last entry for DS9 is what really makes it- he feels bad for hurting Garak. and he avoids talking about it, but he pointedly doesnt deny that he would've killed Garak if he had to, to save the others. of course the guilt of that's been eating him. of course he pulled away. because after Our Man Bashir, as we get into s5 and beyond, we see Julian start to go down a darker path. we see Julian kill. we see him lie, and manipulate, and do harm. we see him forced to compromise his morals, or compromise them by his own choice. so, yeah, it makes sense that he's pulling away from Garak

on the topic of episodes that get brought up- I love that Julian only pulls away further after the events of Doctor Bashir, I Presume? I'd wondered how that episode might've impacted his relationship with Garak, since we dont see it at all in the show besides Garak starting to make cracks at Julian about being augmented. I love that Julian being outed as being augmented played a part in him and Garak drifting apart. if theres one thing I wish would've been included in the DS9 entries, I wish we could've seen if Garak and Julian talked either during or right after the events of that episode. I think it'd be interesting, though, if they didnt. I think it'd be interesting if they never talked about it. I honestly think that could track with how they've drifted apart at this point. it'll be left up to me to wonder, I think, but its all very fascinating

I love that despite everything, Garak's respect and admiration for Julian is always clear- especially when it comes to traits like his kindness. its nice to see that, despite how Garak always gets on Julian's case about his naivety and optimism, he actually does love these so-called "soft things" about Julian. he loves his kindness. he loves his selflessness. he loves that desire Julian has to just help everybody around him. I think this kindness is what really helps pull their relationship back together, in more ways than one

for one thing, I think if Julian wasn't his kind and loving and open self, I dont think Garak would be able to be as open as he is with him. Garak is very much used to people having multiple agendas, and Julian is just not like that. Julian is open and honest to a fault, with his only big secret being that he was augmented, and once thats out in the open, he doesnt have anything left to hide. Julian and Garak's relationship might've started with Julian clumsily trying to be a spy, but it quickly became just... a friendship. Julian doesnt want anything from Garak besides a relationship. he just wants Garak. and its this honest, open approach to that that reminds Garak that this is Julian, who he can trust, and thats what lets them mend this thing between them

I also think its crucial that Garak's respect and admiration for Julian's kindness ultimately overpowers his desire to teach Julian his ways. Garak sees their relationship as over because he believes that Julian doesnt want to learn from him. the hurdle that Garak has to overcome here is that he needs to see that Julian can still learn from him, but not in the way he thinks. Garak has to learn that Julian doesnt need to learn how to be a hardened spy from him. he doesnt need to learn how to close himself off, or be more cynical- what he gets from Garak, what he learns from Garak, is how to be challenged. Garak challenges Julian constantly, forces him to think about things from different perspectives he otherwise wouldnt have considered. Julian gets caught up in believing his way is the right way, he cant always see the other side of things, and Garak is the one who will make him see it. thats why their relationship, even when its distanced, is never over- because Julian is still learning from Garak as he continues to challenge him, and Garak is still learning from Julian as he learns that sentimentality isnt a weakness after all

the last entry set in DS9 means the entire world to me. Garak immediately calling Julian after a nightmare. Julian going to him. the discussion they have. Garak realizing what he has to do. the apologies Julian tries to make, and how Garak won't let him. the way they come together again at last, and you know theyre going to be ok. Garak calling him Julian... you have to wonder if this is the first time Garak has actually called him by his name, because to my memory he doesnt do so at any point in the show. and of course its Julian who makes Garak see what he needs to do, and where he needs to be. just, that entire scene. its so important to me. you can feel the love, and it feels like a sigh of relief, because they've finally bridged this gap between them

to me, though, the most loving bit is the very end of the novel. Garak inviting Julian to come to his home, and see what he's done. Garak has just documented pretty much his entire life and sent it to Julian so that Julian will know every part of him, and he's ended it by inviting Julian to his home. holy shit. this is where the shipping goggles go on cause oh my god. Garak has just gone "here's my heart. here's my soul. here's my core. here's everything that's made me into me. here's what I was thinking when we weren't talking. here's how much I missed you. here's everything youve ever done for me. nothing would make me happier than you coming to see me. come see my home. come see what ive done. I love you. come to my home." this entire novel is such a massive display of vulnerability and trust, of an openness Garak has never allowed himself to express, and it end it by inviting Julian to come to his home? im going to fucking explode.

Garak wasn't this open with Palandine. he wasn't this open with Pythas. he wasn't this open with Tolan, with Mila, with Tain- there's been nobody he's been this open with. his relationship with Julian is so much different than any other relationship he's had, just for the fact that he can be truly, openly himself. and he knows he can be, because he knows Julian. this novel really highlights how well Garak knows Julian, and understands him- he knows Julian will accept him for who he is, because Julian always has. Julian would never be as harsh on Garak as Garak is on himself, Julian is the kind voice in his head, and its exactly BECAUSE he sees Garak for who he is: a man who's trying his best. nobody else has ever seen that in Garak- I dont think even Palandine saw it. I think she probably got the closest to seeing it, and I think Pythas too might've gotten close had they not been separated for so long, but nobody ever got close to Garak like Julian managed to

I think however you interpret the Julian and Garak dynamic, you can read this book and understand that these two love each other. deeply. whether that means platonically or romantically you can interpret yourself, but however you define it, the love is still undeniably there. do I think its romantic? hell yeah. they make me fucking insane and every interaction between them in this book made me scream out loud. but I think its a testament to how theyre written that the love is there no matter how you read it, and that their relationship is just incredibly solid all around. Andrew Robinson clearly put a lot of work and love and thought into how he portrayed these two, and it shows in every scene, every line where Garak even thinks about Julian

alright gonna wrap up because this is getting. so long. I love that this book wasn't about their relationship, but it also was. because this book is, of course, about Garak. but it was written by Garak, for Julian. and it ends perfectly, with Garak holding a hand out and going "you're always welcome, doctor." so, yeah, this is Garak's story, but it's also Garak's story for Julian, and that makes me, personally, feel a little insane

[vaguely-concerned]

A Stitch In Time First Read Reactions & Thoughts Monster Post Part 1

Basically exactly what it says on the tin! I kept making notes while I was reading and somehow it grew into this sprawling monstrosity that had to be split into three parts haha. In short: I loved this book, 10/10 incredibly gay and full of yearning Garak is there the whole time would recommend. 

Quotes from the book in normal text, my reflections, reactions and self-indulgent bits in italics :) Please, please only click on that read-more if you're ready for some truly long-winded nonsense, I fear I have gone and been extremely myself about this and I can only beg your forbearance for it while I get it out of my system lol

Part 2, Part 3

- My dear Doctor:

Forgive my delay in responding to your kind communications. I wanted to give this modest chronicle I’ve enclosed a modicum of organization and update it before I sent it on to you. Thank you for your concern. I have thought of you often since our last meeting, and I am pleased to hear that your life on Deep Space 9 remains challenging and productive. Considering all the changes that have taken place I would have expected nothing less. And I’m certainly not surprised that your research proposals have been accepted. You’re a brilliant young scientist—even if you are genetically enhanced. As for my life here …

This is such a deceptively innocuous and normal-sounding beginning to what is about to be an extremely unnormal and unhinged thing to send a friend as a letter. He made it all of one paragraph of keeping it chill and I honestly think that’s pretty impressive all things considered. Thankfully Julian Bashir — who, let’s not forget, gave Jadzia his fucking diaries to read after much shorter acquaintanceship than what what we’re operating on here — is possibly the one person in the galaxy with the unhinged energy to take it.  

(‘I have thought of you often’ he says. And how., as we shall see)

- Yes—I’m afraid you weren’t expecting this response to your kind inquiry; it goes a bit further than “Greetings from Cardassia—Wish you were here.”

Fhksjdfhasdkj well. In spirit that is exactly what you’re saying tho garak fhdskjaas. It’s just that you’re also pathologically incapable of shutting the hell up and for this I love and treasure you. 

- So why Captain Sisko is so upset with me because I accomplished the goal (which he established!) of getting Romulus into the war against the Dominion baffles me. And it’s not because of the few lives that were sacrificed. Federation expansion has taken a toll in countless life-forms—about most of which they are blissfully unaware. The moment you step into a garden and begin to cultivate and prune, you become a killer. Perhaps the captain was upset because he had hesitated to do what was necessary to insure the integrity of his garden. Sentimentality is another trait that makes humans dangerous.

*Garak voice* Julian please tell me why your boss is so mad at me I literally solved all his problems for him. for which he’s wELCOME btw

Eyes open for recurring metaphors about gardeners, Tolan is haunting this narrative and it’s only polite to say hello whenever he shows up

- Indulge me, if you will; I need you as a witness.

Can I just say how fucking wild it is in terms of character development for Garak to openly admit he needs someone interpersonally. Incredibly fucked up that he writes both parts of this directly to Julian, though — both the part where he’s pretty sure he’s going to die trying to free Cardassia from the Dominion, and the ‘now’ timeline on post-war Cardassia where he seems to be dazedly coming to the realization that he might live, actually, and what that means to him. 

- As a child I would go to the Tarlak Sector with Father, and while he supervised his crews I’d play by myself amid the black-and-white angularity of the monuments, imagining myself a great gul or legate giving the funeral oration for a fallen comrade. 

Already we are starting to spot the thread, if you’ll excuse the expression, of why Garak might be Like That

I also came to admire Damar’s idealism, which led him to renounce his allegiance to the Dominion. If he had one weakness it was his propensity for long-winded speeches. But given the fact that none of us are perfect, the man would have made a fine leader.

As I stood at the memorial service, I thought about all the grand affairs I had witnessed here when I was a boy. None of our famed heroes and statesmen has ever had such a humble service—and none of them, from Tret Akleen on, deserved more than Corat Damar.

You are a species of long-winded speakers and Pythas Lok 

- Dr. Parmak, the unit leader, worked furiously to stabilize the little girl, and when she was evacuated by the transport unit he broke down. He’s a very good man, this Dr. Parmak; he reminds me of an older version of you, Doctor. 

Introducing Dr. Kelas Parmak, last seen in the then-noodle incident mentioned in The Die is Cast. Quite possibly the chillest person who has ever lived, considering he gets over the whole thing where Garak like tortured him pretty fast. (To be fair Garak DID say he was sorry. Between this case and Odo’s, that apparently goes a surprisingly long way lol) 

- But Garak, you’ll say, there’s no excuse for killing a defenseless woman. And there isn’t… unless you’ve been brought up in our system.

I love that he keeps a little Julian around in his head to talk to at all times. That’s one of the most freakishly intimate things in this whole book of freakish intimacy. Garak has a little Tain on one shoulder and a little Julian on the other shoulder and they have heated debates as to the validity of murder as a solution to any given problem that’s put before him

- I also thought about this Cardassian sense of duty and how it is largely responsible for bringing those of us who are left to these current circumstances. I asked Dr. Parmak how an entire people can come under the sway of this duty and blindly give allegiance to a state that goes mad and murders its own children.

“Poisonous pedagogy, Elim,” he replied. “We believe what we are taught.”

Poison/Disease contagion is a metaphor that will wind through this whole thing,and different people mean different things by it. Parmak means it about The Facism, which is the right one. You’ll be unsurprised to hear that Dukat Sr. has a rather different spin on it, and that he’s wrong! 

- But Tain at home was anything but mysterious. It was not unusual for Uncle Enabran to appear and take me away on some excursion that involved a long walk through a section of the city. During these walks he’d test my awareness, and challenge me to describe a house or a person we’d just passed. If I hadn’t been paying attention and couldn’t remember the details, the walk was over and we’d silently return home under the oppressive weight of his disapproval. He also seemed to know how I was performing at school, and if he wasn’t satisfied with my progress or behavior he’d punish me. I was a hard worker but I had a mischievous streak, and I enjoyed getting others involved in questionable activities and arranging it so they were found out and took the blame. On those rare occasions when I was caught, Tain would somehow find out and punish me—not for my misdeed, but for having been caught. And after he discovered my fear of small, dark spaces, his favorite punishment became keeping me in one until I had convinced him that I had analyzed and fully understood how my mischievous scheme had gone wrong. I found it odd that Mother and Father never had anything to say about these punishments.

. . . 

At first I thought I was in trouble, and my face must have reflected this fear because Father attempted to reassure me with a forced smile. But the uncharacteristic falsity of his behavior and his barely concealed agitation only made the situation worse. I had never seen him like this. Mother’s face was a mask; it revealed nothing. She spoke as if I needed to clean off the day’s work before we ate.

Garak treats him and Bashir ‘drifting apart’ the same way he describes his young self being trained by Tain to go over his ‘mistakes’ — what did I do wrong? You also see it (almost most heartbreakingly to me) from Tolan when he gets sharper out of worry at the end of the scene where the agent comes to take Garak away to the Bamarren Institute: 

I was stunned. I wanted to ask more, I wanted to ask about the dedication ceremony that afternoon, but I didn’t dare. Father had that look when one of the workers didn’t get it right the first time. But what had I done wrong? 

Oh buddy. He’s so fucking confused. The only thing you’ve done wrong yet is having been born with some connection to Enabran Tain, Elim, I’m so sorry

- We were the “missing pieces”—and in order to find our place in the mosaic of civilized society, we had to be broken down and reconstructed from the bottom up.

Keep your eyes open for ‘broken down and reconstructed’ too, it will be on the final test lol

- The good captain gave me one of his bemused stares.

Sisko ILU. He’s not in this book a lot so I’ll take the chance to say it here, because I do. 

- It was explained to us that until we became disciplined in our relations with the “complementary gender” we would make better progress this way. When I asked One Tarnal how we would learn this discipline without interaction between the sexes, he blinked and mumbled something about “distractions.” When I asked what that meant I was told that I had a loose mouth and given five days of hygiene-chamber maintenance as punishment.

“You don’t know enough to ask so many questions.”

Elim 'Genuinely & Guilelessly Too Deeply Pansexual To Be Able To Follow This Logic’ Garak

- Pythas/Eight descriptions because this is a bad mutual crush situation: 

- Unfortunately, the only student left was quiet Eight Lubak, who kept completely to himself. He agreed to accompany me and quickly moved to the door. He was short and slender, and his dark eyes and long lashes made him look younger than the rest of us. He was almost too delicate for a Cardassian. I was not encouraged … but I had no choice.

‘Dark eyes and long lashes’ huh lol

I started to follow him, but he made it clear that I should stay where I was and wait. All during this, Eight was quiet and controlled—and as sure of himself as if he’d done this many times. How did he know where he was going?

. . .

His face was dark, intense with concentration; his brow ridges, which were unusually pronounced, cast shadows over his eyes. My heart began to pound when I realized what Eight was planning. These were certain to be older students, but he expressed no hesitation, no doubt.

. . .

I didn’t know then if I could ever call Eight a friend. Something about him was strange and impenetrable. But it didn’t matter. At least I knew there was one person in my section I could trust. How I had misjudged him. It was obvious that Eight had what Cardassians call a ferocious spirit—and that I could learn a great deal from him.

. . .

Eight also came from a “service” family background, and it was soon clear to everyone that he should have been designated One Lubak, a fact not lost on the actual holder of that designation who, judging from his behavior and speech, came from the highest echelons of our society.

. . .

Five was an athlete who also did well in class. I could see that he was attracted to Eight. As indeed I was. 

Big round of applause for Andrew Robinson managing to sneak the skywritten subtext into the text like this, it’s an exceedingly rare gift to get to have from the media of this time 

. . .

But by then the group had passed. What murk? Me? Have all the others been captured? Surely not Eight. I couldn’t believe that was possible.

. . .

The only member of my group who performed as well in all areas was the taciturn Eight.

. . .

The truth, of course, was that I didn’t know how to forge those kinds of bonds. I wanted to be closer to Eight, and to a lesser degree Five, who besides being one of the great Pit strategists Bamarren ever had was fair in all his dealings.

. . .

Eight remained for a few more minutes. I had the feeling that he wanted to say something more to me. Suddenly he turned and disappeared behind a barrier. The air was filled with whatever went unsaid. He was as shy as anyone I had ever known.

The boys are being useless lesbians at each other omg……… what must this whole mess look like from Pythas’ POV tho. He’s been keeping an eye on his friend/crush so he doesn’t get himself killed by running his mouth off too much to the wrong person and before he knows it the guy is embroiled in an inadvisable bisexual sandwich of betrayal and savage intrigue. I wonder if anything would have been different if Garak and Pythas had managed to actually talk to each other here.   

- Eight was the only person who deserved number One as much as I did—maybe more. My solitary behavior was not always in service to the group. Eight and I exchanged encouraging looks. The support of my one constant friend was all I wanted. I sat there and shut out everything else.

*Garak whenever someone prefers Pythas over him* understandable honestly I’d do the same thing he’s the best have a nice day

End Pythas/Eight teen crush corner

- My mind wandered. I was sure that I heard sounds of the women students gusting with the winds. Suddenly mother materialized … she looked like she was apologizing. I wanted to tell her how much I missed her, but her image dissolved and … Father took her place. I knew he was telling me something very important, but I was growing dizzy and afraid that I’d join Six on the ground … his words were carried away by the winds.

Suffering and agony

Some assorted 'Just assure me that I'm not going mad, Doctor'/Garak's ever-tenuous grip on his mental health moments:

-I don’t know why I wasn’t surprised that he knew. Instead, I was grateful; it told me I wasn’t going mad.

A recurring worry for him I’m sure it means nothing! I feel the same fellowship with him as I do with Harrow in The Locked Tomb series, which I’m sure says even less, don’t worry about it.  

And how do we even begin to rebuild a world that doesn’t exist anymore? A world that exists in my mind with the same arid bitterness as the dust in my mouth. I have never lived with despair, Doctor, the way I live with it now. It’s almost like a phantom companion that shadows me and casts doubt on whatever I do.

“Why save him?” it asks, as we remove a young boy from the rubble of a school. “You’re only keeping him alive for a future of privation and chaos. Wouldn’t it be more satisfying to join the burial unit?”

I want to scream at this phantom, to shut it up. Once I turned around suddenly and raised my hand to strike it. When I realized it wasn’t there, it was too late. Everyone in the unit was looking at me; I’m sure I must have looked like a madman. Dr. Parmak tried to send me home, but I refused—alone it’s even worse.

I’m just imagining Julian arriving on Cardassia like ‘hey yeah I got your letter and we should fuck about it right now but first of all have you told Parmak you’ve been having vivid hallucinations again because that’s very relevant medical information Garak!!!’ 

- But it was in the Pit and my work with Calyx that I suffered the most. My dreaming made me “an air man.”

“You have no grip, no focus. How can you find your strength if you can’t hold your place? Living in your dreams is like living in exile.”

*whisper* pls don't...

- As I tried to put faces on the shadowy children, they began to approach me. They became more distinct as they moved through the rain and haze. Can you believe it, Doctor? They weren’t my schoolmates; they were the Cardassian orphans from the Resettlement Center on Bajor we once visited. The orphans left after the Cardassian occupation forces withdrew. The same young girl was their leader and her lips formed the same question.

Have you come to take us home?

I jumped up. I felt the shed closing in, threatening to swallow me. I ran out into the rain and gloom.

“There is no home anymore! Can’t you see that? Look around you! It’s gone!” I screamed at them and fell to my knees in the sodden waste. They continued to stare back with that same look of fragile trust that I would somehow relieve them of their fear and bring them home. I couldn’t look at them anymore and dropped down into the muck. My despair was no longer just a voice; it was this monstrous world the evil had created, and it surrounded and overwhelmed me.

I don’t know how long I remained curled up in the mud. I felt myself being lifted and half carried, half dragged back into my shed. It was Dr. Parmak. He cleaned and changed me as best he could. He prepared a cup of Tarkalean tea, which made me think of you, Doctor. How ironic, another doctor pulls old Elim out of the muck of his despair, but this time he’s a Cardassian.

The fact that in the episode itself, Garak (in a haze of endorphins and practiced dissociation) is barely like ‘yes yes I’m sure we’re ALL very upset about the orphans. Or whatever. Well what do you want me to do about it Doctor it’s just the way of the world’ and then it just haunts him horrifically for the rest of his life forever and ever the end! Very on brand.  

Garak does seem to genuinely like and care for children in general, which makes my heart all weird and sad

Also Parmak making Tarkalean tea and Garak being like ‘oh. Like Julian :’(‘ about it my HEART. The fact that he’s a serial befriender of very patient kindhearted doctors willing to put up with his nonsense is probably the only reason he’s still alive lol. Thank u Parmak

- A difficult move under pressure against strong physical resistance from an opponent … and something would snap. A painful blow might set it off, a whispered insult, perhaps just a thought or a feeling of hopelessness, and I would suddenly lose control and lash out like a madman. I became suffused with a raging, crimson anger that poured out from some black hole somewhere deep inside me.

I feel like we see the outlines of this still in him by the time of the show — more tucked away and harnessed, but definitely still there. He’s got an instinctive Fight response a mile wide, it’s just that these days he mostly expresses it by becoming incredibly fucking MEAN when he feels threatened rather than outright physical attack. 

- And there was a soothing quality as it spoke of dry legal definitions. It acted as a balm for my bruises and bitterness. I began to feel such longings. It was like hearing music that you love when you least expect it. How I missed Mother, and working with Father in the flower beds. How I longed for home. I dropped my guard and surrendered to the voice. The tears I was determined never to shed accompanied choking waves of shame and relief, sadness and joy. I finally was able to admit to myself how unhappy I was.

*me with my magnifying glass studying the Palandine/Bashir parallels* listening to Bashir talk about Federation nonsense things presumably fills much the same niche in Garak’s psyche as this haha

- “I assure you, I am not in the habit of attacking people I don’t know in public places. We got our feet tangled in the crush, and he went down—just as, moments before, I nearly wiped out the scent display when he ignored the fact that I was standing in his path. I trust he’s not hurt.”

“I expect more from you, Garak,” Odo lectured. “We’re all under a great deal of strain.”

“As am I, Constable. Please, sit down at least. I feel like a schoolboy being disciplined by the docent.”

Odo sighed and awkwardly perched on the barstool next to mine. 

Their dynamic is. Everything to me. Also we learn later that the guy Garak picks a fight with here because he’s upset Julian is hanging out with Miles (lmao oh… buddy) isn’t just anyone or on impulse, but is one of the most hostile-to-Garaks Bajorans on the entire station with a small gang behind him, and Garak knows exactly who he is. Which lends it a certain… something. Almost an edge of very roundabout self-harm.  

“I can’t stay long. I have to finish dealing with this …”

“ … situation,” I finished. “You’re very fortunate, Odo.”

“How so?” he asked.

“These people have come to trust you. They rely upon you. You’ve made a real connection here.”

Odo merely grunted. I was careful not to mention Major Kira, knowing how reserved he was on the subject.

“Do you still want to go home?” I asked.

The question startled Odo, and for a moment the mask of official reserve dropped from his face. This was the first time I had brought up the subject since his admission to me during the “interrogation” in the Romulan warbird and Tain’s ill-fated attempt to destroy the Founders’ homeworld.

“ I … can’t say,” he replied ambiguously.

“Well, I can. There’s certainly nothing here to keep me.”

“I never told you how sorry I was about Ziyal’s death.” Odo could be quite sensitive in such matters.

“You did, actually,” I nodded. “But thank you.”

“Still, you and Dr. Bashir have created a strong bond.”

“Not really,” I answered quickly. “I’m afraid that what I have to offer has run its course. It’s certainly no match for darts.” I heard the bitterness of my tone, and so did Odo. We sat in silence for a moment.

“I understand you’ll be involved in the invasion. You must be pleased.” Odo steered us away from the heaviness that had descended.

. . . 

“When do you want to schedule your consultation?” I asked. Odo—no doubt influenced by his budding relationship with the Major—was about to branch out sartorially. But it occurred to me that Quark was the last person he wanted to know about it.

“We’ll talk,” he replied, nodding to Quark as he briskly marched back to the Promenade.

AHdorable all around. Hilarious that Odo picked up on trouble in human/lizard paradise and, with the vigor of a person who has freshly had love work out for them for the first time, going ‘not on my fucking watch you’ll talk to each other if it’s the last thing I do’. Also the sheer readiness with which he expects Julian to be Garak’s safe place. What on earth does this relationship look like to outside observers. Especially to Odo, practiced observer of humanoid folly, who completely nails Garak’s whole deal in Improbable Cause to the point that Garak lashes out defensively over it.   

- My solitary confinement was agony. The only way I got through it was to rethink all my attitudes about the Pit and the Wilderness and to focus on how I could make my stratagems more effective. Just as I had learned to do when Uncle Enabran locked me in that suffocating closet. Was this the universal torture for failure, I wondered?

Going through the whole book it is so stunningly awful that this IS the logic his inner world is shaped around for the vast majority of his life, right up until the ‘present’ part of the storyline where it’s being slowly deconstructed and reassembled. 

- I apologized to the others for disrupting their family; I explained that I had great need of this creature. Not only was Mila (as I eventually called him) the answer to my current problem, he was as important as any of the docents at Bamarren, with the possible exception of Calyx.

;_______________________________________________________________; there’s no part of this that isn’t crushing

Unlike the last time, I had preparation and an ally.

Tain really had to work at deadening Garak’s ability to form loyalty to anything else but him, because left to his own devices and natural instinct Garak will clearly packbond with ANYTHING. He’s so desperate to belong to someone and be loyal to them. 

- As the sun came up, the otherworldly beauty of the Wilderness was gradually revealed by each succeeding gradation of light. I was deeply moved by the presence of so much color in what had initially looked like a dead world to me. Beginning with a cold pale gray, the dawn flowed through a range of blues and into the softest rose and pink and then to a hot red that soon gave way to the merciless bleached bone-white of midday. I was able to see how much territory I had covered the previous night.

Can I just say how unspeakably tender it is that he takes the time to write this out in this. It serves literally no purpose in this narrative but sentiment — to be beautiful. He saw something beautiful once that moved him and he wants to share it with someone. What the fuck. 

- I became increasingly concerned; the sun was getting higher, and the overhanging ledge was now my last source of shade. At one point I took Mila out of his wrapping to check on his condition. At least that’s what I told myself. I was afraid that if I was honest and admitted that the real reason was to solicit help from a regnar, the slide into total insanity would be swift and sure. I was getting desperate.

The funniest and saddest thing I’ve ever read fhdskjfas emotional support regnar that he names after his fucking MUM hours. There are things going on with Garak no psychologist could ever hope to get to the bottom of 

- Three more members of the Furtan group were on the other side of the rock formation, but Mila had found a hidden depression that required some quiet digging to get into, and we avoided detection. We settled in and resealed the opening with sand and loose rocks. After an indeterminate period, the Furtan hunters left. As we waited for nightfall I fell into a deep sleep. 

BB!Elim and regnar Mila like ‘OUR secret hiding spot’. (Seeing how much garak both craves and thrives on getting to have that sense of ‘we’ and fellowship tho. And knowing that’s going to be not only deliberately kept from him but made psychologically impossible for him for a very long time. We should bring Tain back to life so we can kill him again and more painfully actually. Mercymorn acid jail for a thousand years time.)

- While I understood that I would have to watch my step with One Charaban, I also acknowledged that I had never been in a manlier or more attractive presence. It was like encountering an ideal that I’d only dreamed about. As I walked back to my section and accepted the congratulations of my mates, I was baffled not so much by the appearance of this new and commanding person in my life as by my recognition of his strong connection to me. But what connection?

Baby pansexual disaster at his finest

- The other day, the Doctor, Odo, and I were at the Replimat having lunch, an event that Odo, after our conversation, had taken it upon himself to organize.

. . . 

“But what about you, Doctor?” I asked, returning to the business at hand. “It seems there’s a movement afoot to have you replace Captain Sisko.” The doctor winced.

“Is this true?” Odo asked. We both looked to the doctor for confirmation. He sighed.

“There’s a group of … genetically enhanced people who feel that one of their own should be guiding the station during this emergency, and they’ve petitioned the Federation Council, but it’s Jack and his group, and no one takes them…” Exasperated, he broke off. “Garak, how did you hear about this?”

“My clientele talk and I listen.” This was also true: an idiot savant who wears his presumed genetic superiority like a badge of privilege walked into my shop and never stopped talking. Of course I encouraged him, and by the time he left I had heard all about some organized attempt to elevate Dr. Bashir to the leadership position. I could see that the doctor was upset that I’d divulged this information. Clearly this genetic business was not his favorite topic of conversation.

“Is this something we should keep an eye on?” Odo asked, studying us carefully.

“No, not at all,” the Doctor assured him. “It’s just Jack’s people. This was nearly a year ago, and I’m afraid they have too much time on their hands—like some other people I know.” He pointedly looked away from me as Odo continued to study us, trying to decode the undercurrent of this last exchange between us. No wonder he was such a capable security operative. Odo registered every change in tone and temperature and tracked the change down to its cause.

“Tell me something, Garak.” It was clear that he had found an opening for one of those deferred questions he kept on a prioritized list somewhere in his changeling head. He was still a basically shy and tactful person, especially when it came to other people’s business, but lately he’d become more openly inquisitive. I wondered if it was Major Kira’s influence.

Matchmaker/self-appointed and woefully under-equipped marriage counselor Odo……….you are Everything to me you dumb beige bitch. Garak goes a bit aggro in return when he tries to get too close to something tender but honestly odo buddy gooey friend of my heart maybe you shouldn’t barge into this particular glassware shop like a rampaging elephant huh someone’s going to get cut. Also Garak could have refrained from pressing on Julian’s bruises for attention here and we may not have had the rest of the scene, but alas. 

This must be the lunch where we deal with uncomfortable subjects.

“But if Cardassia is liberated from Dominion control …” Odo went on.

“When Cardassia is liberated,” I interrupted.

“Would you return?”

“Would you return to the Great Link?” Odo reacted with sharp annoyance to the question.It wasn’t a fair one, because although we were both exiles, we were in very different circumstances. With the humanoid shape he was still learning to live with, and his deepening relationship with Major Kira, Odo was discovering a new mode of existence, a new link. He had an alternative, however difficult the choice. I didn’t.

“Yes, I know. You can’t say.” I was sorry I had asked again. It was a question he was obviously struggling with.

The feeling Garak seems to have towards Odo in this period where like… you know when you have a friend who has a lot of the same mental health issues as you do and you see them get better and start to flourish and you are genuinely so happy for them but also feel just how deep in the muck you yourself still are with no prospect of getting out. And the way Garak consistently wistfully includes Odo’s romantic relationship to Kira when he observes how he’s coming out of his shell and why he has reasons to stay. 

“Would you return to the same Cardassia?” the doctor asked.

“What do you mean ‘same’?” But I knew perfectly well what he meant.

“To a Cardassia containing the political and social elements that made the current situation possible.”

“My dear Doctor, that’s also the Cardassia that made me possible.” I half-hoped my joke would end this conversation … but I knew better.

Julian baby please read the room and take this up some other time somewhere private maybe (and yet I understand how you wouldn’t think of that until later once Garak’s had a rare public freakout)

Absolutely heartbreaking in every way that garak seems so convinced he must have done something wrong or simply doesn’t have anything more of interest to offer julian and that’s why they’re drifting apart, when a just as likely reading from what’s actually on the page here is that julian feels he keeps getting it wrong and hesitates in case he makes the damage worse. Garak have you considered who this man is before you decided you must have fucked up and resigned yourself to the dark closet of self-isolation tain put in your head. I’m in shambles. 

Also Julian is saying a lot of very true things about Cardassia in this scene that Garak needs to hear and that he’s clearly processing all through the rest of his time on DS9 and beyond, as angry as it makes him, and the good doctor means so well but he IS being incredibly condescending, and he keeps pushing even as Garak is signaling he’d rather not go in depth on this, especially in such an exposed public setting. (This is a conversation they SHOULD be having in private, both for emotional reasons and b/c Garak’s position on this station is a lot more vulnerable than I think Julian realizes, as the hostile comments he immediately starts getting during this convo show.) I mean I guess it’s not this man’s fault he is fundamentally British and autistic what can a bitch do fdjslkfhasj (I say this with all the love in my fellow autistic heart, please do not misunderstand me here). But it’s a very Julian well-meaning but flawed thing to do — he’s focusing on the principle and intellectual side of it, but he’s not taking into account that just maybe having to deconstruct the entirety of your worldview and belief system and then feel responsible for implementing them to create a better world afterwards could be an emotionally fraught process that requires not only reasoned political debate but personal, emotional support from a friend. He isn’t getting that Garak isn’t so much categorically resistant to the basic ideas he’s setting forth — it’s that he wants to be convinced on a practical level that it could even work, because otherwise it’s just a useless pretty picture. 

(Which is a big part of their dynamic on many levels, I’ve always felt. All those times he challenges Julian’s more hopeful and idealistic world view — ultimately he doesn’t do that because he wants to break Julian’s faith down until he agrees with him, he does it because somewhere deep down Garak wants to be convinced. He wants there to be hope somewhere in the world, even if he won’t buy the quick and glorified ‘it’s easy to be a saint in paradise’ Federation version of it. And Julian’s version isn’t that, in the end; it gets tested again and again and he really, genuinely means it, even when it’s hard. Which is one of the most healing things about his presence in Garak’s life overall.) 

Ironically I also think Julian believes so much in Garak and his capabilities that it simply doesn’t occur to him that Garak as a private person might just be like. Too scared and overwhelmed to even contemplate this, at least until Garak is upset enough that he can’t gracefully hide it. (“With your background and experience, Garak, I’m certain that you could serve as a liaison between a new Cardassian government and the Federation.” The Doctor paused and waited for a response. None was forthcoming. “I once suggested that you visit Earth as a member of the Cardassian government-in-exile….” oh so no biggie then Julian that sounds easy and painless and I’m surprised no one has thought to do this yet, this Obsidian Order wilted leftover sandwich of a guy is surely going to be welcomed with open arms wherever he goes among his people fhsdakjfas!)

I feel like this is one of Julian’s less sympathetic traits that he would probably feel such intense self-loathing about once he realized it’s one he shares with his father — this instinct to try to shape someone into a ‘better’ version of themselves. I think Julian’s version of this primarily comes from a much, MUCH kinder place than in his father; he has the will and ability to see the best in the world and in people, and he can’t help but want them to live up to that once he’s seen it. He fundamentally believes people can be better, can be good, when given the help and tools they need, and that’s such a beautiful part of him. BUT along with that there is also a danger of that tipping over into becoming paternalistic and controlling, of overly privileging the ideal you see over the person who is actually there right now, and trying to forcibly change the one into the other ‘for them’.  

Considering Garak’s past experiences of being shaped and controlled by someone else’s idea of what he should be, I’m if anything surprised he doesn’t react worse to this, honestly! I think it speaks to the basic trust and goodness that exists between them that he doesn’t. Julian is clumsy but not malicious, and even here Garak does recognize that on some deep level.   

(Probably because he’s also been touched by Julian at his best, in The Wire — where his support and acceptance is absolute and unconditional, free of the instinct to control anything.)

My voice had risen to an uncharacteristic pitch. It was still ringing in my ears as the Doctor stared at me as if he were studying a baffling microbe. I, too, was baffled. I had no idea where this outburst came from. I know that a distance has widened between us during the past year or so and I know that the holosuite program incident and the revelations of his genetic enhancement are the symptoms of this distance rather than the cause. It’s only natural—we’re very different people. I also know that he had only the best intentions in suggesting that I use the Federation model in order to influence the future of Cardassia. Misguided, yes, and somewhat patronizing and arrogant, but hardly sufficient to elicit this embarrassing and public loss of control.

I mumbled some sad excuse which the good Doctor and Odo were kind enough not to challenge and left the Replimat to return to my shop. As I passed Quark’s I caught his eye and we nodded. Why I included him in my outburst also puzzled me; I rather admire his industry and resourcefulness. I especially admire the way he consistently bends Federation rules so that they work for him.

That’s such a fair evaluation of Bashir’s intentions and personality honestly. Even this upset and feeling that distance between them, Garak still has complete trust in the Doctor’s basic good intentions and nature. (Are you really such very different people at the end of the day, though, Elim. Should the genetic enhancement arc maybe be telling you something here.)

Also such a hilarious element of the Garak-Quark relationship.’Sorry to get you caught up in the crossfire bro I’ve never thought of you as anything but an avaricious opportunist (complimentary)’  

What is important is that I feel that I am necessary, that I function with all my faculties in the service of a greater cause. And while I wait for this invasion, is making Odo more attractive to Major Kira a greater cause?

It is in fact nothing but the greatest cause Garak. Getting Kira happily lovingly laid is priority one at all times. 

- I had no real friends to speak of, and told myself that loneliness was the price I had to pay for success. I considered the games and behavior of my mates to be childish, and that any unnecessary interaction would only distract me from my work. The truth, of course, was that I didn’t know how to forge those kinds of bonds. I wanted to be closer to Eight, and to a lesser degree Five, who besides being one of the great Pit strategists Bamarren ever had was fair in all his dealings.

(I feel like this whole part is going to hit Julian in some kind of way lmao)

Literally just. Put me in a little box on the bottom of the ocean and leave me there forever I can’t go on. Also he’s SUCH a clever-but-socially-inept teenager in this part around the people in his group he doesn’t like fhdkjsa. Ugh they’re all so annoying and fake just leave me alone *eyeroll emoji* I didn’t want to be included in their idiotic conversation bb elim… I would die for your lightly insufferable but entertainingly snarky teenage butt in a way that actually makes me feel more kindly towards my own inner idiot 16 year old.

Also it’s no wonder he’s so out to sea when it comes to interacting with his peers — by all accounts he didn’t play much with other kids as a child and then he’s dropped straight into a social Lord of the Flies piranha tank shot through with Class Shit. 

Inspired by my guide Mila, I would experiment at withdrawing my presence when I had to remain in the same room with people I didn’t like.

Honing his future customer service worker smile 

Here follow some Bamarren and beyond observations I’ve elected to call ‘Sex Stuff’:  

- Oh ok so garak gets some sexual Thing out of being beaten to a pulp after mouthing off through the same mechanism that made spanking known as the ‘English Vice’ across Europe when that was the go-to punishment in British boarding schools. I see. Many things are revealed to me

I looked from the pale, frozen face of Three to the others. They all looked like statues commemorating fear. And I was pleased. I realized at that moment that they were in my control, and that I would no longer have any trouble with them. Especially Three. I felt the power like a drug surging through my system.

And then, of course, the other side of the masochism/sadism scale smoothly coming in, he contains those multitudes. In Garak’s defense idk if you could go through a psychosexual development that wasn’t deeply, deeply weird in this sort of environment 

“What do you want me to do?” I was trembling as if my body were chilled.

Well, I mean. You know fhkdsjha. And he’s rewarded with the first non-aggressive physical contact he’s had here, you say. (For reference he’s talking to Barkan, of the aforementioned ‘manliest presence’.) I’m sure this didn’t awaken anything in him or anything.

“Elim, why do you think we have these ridges?” She stroked the scalloped cords of cartilege and bone that ran along her neck and down her shoulders with a delicacy that stopped my breath. The energy had turned into molten liquid that was now flowing into my groin. The rest of the world was swallowed by complete darkness and I was back inside the tunnel.

“Because … we do,” I replied stupidly.

Fhdjskfhsdjkfhadskjfhas he’s so easy fdsjkfhas. And what a one-two punch of sexual confusion he got there. That one afternoon did irreparable damage to the libidinous development of this poor man and now he has to live like this.

For the second time tonight I was spellbound by another’s passion. In very different ways, Charaban and Palandine held me in their orbit, like powerful suns.

I was learning something new about myself—an emerging desire for power, but a power that had less to do with mastery over others than it did with connecting to them. The way I felt the connection to Charaban … and especially to Palandine.

And, I’m so sorry to have to break it to you like this, your biodad. I’m sorry Elim you’ve got something truly unfortunately Freudian going on here. It’s not your fault.  

“I love the Blind Moon,” Charaban said softly.

“Why is it called that?” I asked, deeply relieved by the mysterious change that had come over us.

“It’s the time for lovers’ assignations,” Palandine answered. “The moon will give them enough light to meet, but not so much for them to be discovered.”

“So if you and Elim were true lovers I wouldn’t have been able to find you,” Charaban teased.

“That’s right, Barkan,” she said with a direct look. I shifted position in the ensuing silence and tried to hide my disappointment with Palandine’s reply, but at the same time, the pleasure I felt in the company of these two people kept growing.

“See?” Palandine suddenly addressed me. “You can do it.”

“What?” I was startled by her delighted burst.

“Smile. Look at that, Barkan. Wouldn’t you tell someone with that smile everything he wanted to know?” she demanded.

“The first time I met him—well, the second…” he corrected himself, “he had a smile that I wanted to wipe off his face.” He was referring to that early morning in front of the Central Gate.

“But it wasn’t that smile,” Palandine insisted.

“No,” he conceded. “Definitely not that one.” And the truth was that I could feel this smile throughout my entire body.

Noooo this is about to go so wrong…it’s all fun and games and bisexual poetry recitation under the blind moon until someone gets stabbed in the back like the Caesar (well caesar notably got stabbed from many many directions but you see what I’m trying to get at here)

- [The Klingon] looked up, and I immediately knew two things about him: he was inebriated beyond reason and he was one of their shock troopers, a callused veteran of hand-to-hand combat. I took a deep breath; as dolts go he was quite impressive. My spirits were suddenly and immeasurably lifted.

“You spoonhead!” he growled at me. I hated that word.

“And you … a great warrior who brings down dabo girls with a single blow,” He looked at me trying to decide if I had insulted or complimented him.

“P’tak!” I shouted, “I mean that you’re the biggest coward in the Klingon Empire,” He released the dabo girl, and as he moved to the narrow stairway I thought that he was also the biggest Klingon in the Empire.

I looked for my advantage. This was not an equal match, and my gigantic friend was in the full flush of a berserker blood lust. I sighed. I’m too old for this, I thought. 

. . .

“Get security, Chief, and tell them to prepare the biggest cell they have … or a smaller coffin for me,” I said as I moved into the alcove and squeezed through the opening where the panel had been. 

 Listen I would apologize for including this here but he’s clearly getting off on this and I couldn’t do anything about it if I wanted to. 

I cannot convey just how much my already intense enjoyment of canon is enriched by the knowledge that Garak is up to these kinds of hijinks constantly in the background when the camera isn’t on him. In his defense he was left unsupervised. O’Brien’s fond mildly exasperated help is just the cherry on top. ‘Well I GUESS Julian would be upset if I let you get beaten to death by a drunk Klingon so fine I’ve got your back’  

(I made for the upper Promenade—and wondered if Calyx might be enjoying this spectacle from wherever he was. ;______; I like how much of an impact Calyx has on his development, considering how briefly he was actually in his life. Plus: Calyx; the Aiglamene of Bamarren? Locked Tomb/DS9 fandom overlap people, Let’s Discuss.) 

“Help me,” he croaked. I was touched by the giant’s childlike surrender. I knew the feeling well.

“I will,” I replied and immediately wondered why I had agreed. I’m getting soft, I thought. 

The greatest joy to me of a lot of this is, like… idk if these are all exactly the things that happened at every turn. In fact I’d say they very likely aren’t, Garak’s entire character taken into consideration. But they are certainly the things he wants someone — someone he trusts as far as he knows how, someone he earnestly wants to be closer to than anyone else, and also wants to see all of him — to know about him, to share in. This could just have easily been a story he told Julian in person over lunch to make him laugh. It’s silly and frivolous and fun, and as much at his own expense as a ludicrous person as to show off. To a true lying liar who lies connoisseur, unreliable narration tells more than it obscures etc. lol  

- (About Barkan) It was the appearance of warmth that made his charm so attractive. A part of me wanted to tell him everything, to challenge the duplicity of his negative evaluation, but the clarity I found in the Lower Prefect’s office was still with me. Looking at him, I was reminded how Palandine had taught me to smile when I asked questions.

Apart from Pythas, who gets his own little twink corner, most of the people Garak is attracted to throughout this are his height or taller and slender but athletic. I’m just saying that when he spotted Julian in the Replimat for the first time he really saw a young man with the face of an angel who is exactly his type fhdjskah maybe he should have seen this coming for himself. Too high on endorphins and hubris to think this would awaken anything in him irrevocably and now he’s stuck with the consequences.  

Why? I asked myself. Why?! For the life of me I could not understand why it was important to her that I respond. Why should she—so beautiful, so alive—be disappointed if I didn’t return her … what? What did she want from me? Friendship? Why me?

I was in turmoil. Her grace and manner, the way she tilted her head and half smiled when she listened, as if everything amused her … it was like a forbidden dream of the unattainable. The attraction was painful because I instinctively knew that while my life would be simpler and more controllable without her, it would also be as drab as my Bamarren uniform.

. . . 

“Are you making fun of me?” It was at that moment, when I asked the question, that I realized just how afraid I was of being the object of her ridicule. She stopped laughing and for the first time she was speechless. 

Losing my entire fucking MIND about how Garak is basically taking Palandine’s place when he approaches Julian at first. Odo and Garak ‘I love you so much I want to become you because it’s the only way I can imagine really being close to you’ handshake meme

Sex stuff end. For now.

I was about to leave when Odo asked about the designs for his “new” sartorial look. I could see that he was masking his concern, so I assured him that the sketches were some of my finest creations, and would be ready within the week. He grunted his thanks and I stepped out onto the Promenade. Love does make fools of us all.

I’m clawing at my face with emotion. Odo… And Garak did finish those sketches even after his moment of existential ennui over them before. 

- Please for the love of god stop putting Six out in the merciless sun T_____T how many times must a poor lil nerd boy pass out before he can rest in the sand etc. 

- “It’s not every evening we find Barkan Lokar strolling with a murk through the Grounds.”

“Lokar? My father buried the Legate, Turat Lokar,” I said without thinking.

“Did your father kill him?” Palandine joked. But I didn’t laugh. The Lokars were a legendary family, and the old man’s funeral was the largest I had ever seen.

Why is this so funny. Garak you are so fucking weird. ‘Oh yeah I know that guy my dad did the flower arrangements for his funeral’ 

- A spirited dabo game involving several Klingons and a serious-looking dabo girl I hadn’t seen before caught my attention. If Quark had been present he’d be giving her one of his congeniality lectures. I truly sympathize with the young woman; if I had to spend all day with these drunken dolts….

Literally so hilarious that’s his first thought. First impulse: ‘surrounded by idiots’ solidarity. Garak what were you doing day drinking at the devil’s sacrament/quarks at midday girl…

- Rom soon appeared with a small container of kanar. He was wearing an outfit I had made for him.

“H-here you are, Garak. I hope you enjoy it.” Ever the gracious host.

“Thank you, Rom. And please, try not to let your collar lie there like a dead targ.” I adjusted the offending fabric, and Rom sweetly tolerated my fussing.

I’m fucking crying what the HELL. Surprise wholesome dynamic that keeps going through the whole narrative. Garak just uncomplicatedly likes and appreciates Rom, with no particular ulterior motive. Plus: fussing is also how we see Mila express affection, like mother like son.   

- I realized as I took a sip of my drink that I was in a dangerous mood. Drinking in the middle of the day. The Doctor would be quite disappointed with me. When I’m unable to immerse myself in work my mind becomes occupied by an invading army of thoughts intent upon conquering all equilibrium and peace. Kanar is a valuable if unreliable weapon I employ against this army. The pills the Doctor gives me are a poor substitute.

Julian, severely unimpressed: uh-huh

‘Would Julian want me to do this to myself? No. However he’s too busy playing soldiers with O’Brien to tell me so, apparently, so that can’t stop me.’ You petty lil bitch garak (affectionate)

The fact that he’s doing the The Little Julian Who Lives In My Head thing already here, where the real Julian is actually around but not engaged with him. I’m so sad. He’s managed to discover shrimp colour spectrums of loneliness and pining.  

- Ever since the Romulan business and Captain Sisko’s near breakdown (outside of the Doctor, whom I told shortly after the incident, no one knows about this, but one recognizes the symptoms), I’ve been obsessed with memories of Bamarren. 

The fact that he tells Julian about that. Presumably partly in a practical way to make sure Sisko doesn’t fall to pieces completely but he doesn’t seem to have any shame about it or expect Bashir to react too badly over it either. The trust…

- I must admit that I was quite taken aback. Evidently there is honor among dolts.

I’m genuinely impressed by how enjoyable it is in this book to be party to Garak’s inner voice. It’s so fun in here, among all the horrors. 

- Nine approached me as I sat alone in our quarters reading the first part of Cylon Pareg’s Eternal Stranger, a saga spanning several generations of a Cardassian family during the early and middle Union.

*whisper of agonized affection* between this and his happy place being studying wormhole theory… he’s such a little nerd. 

Nine swallowed again, an even more bitter taste, and marched off to a life of diminishing returns.

LMAO burn. And, as we shall see, not necessarily inaccurate.  

- As I walked away I heard the custodian ask Tarnal what it was I had done to deserve this punishment.

“Nobody told me. But I know he’s got a mouth on him,” Tarnal replied.

The more things change I guess fdhsakja. Known across the school for being a) a sneaky lil bastard and b) never ever shutting the fuck up when he really really should 

- “And you have to use that wonderful smile of yours more often, Elim.”

“What’s that got to do with listening?” That was the subject, and Palandine had typically made a jump in logic I couldn’t follow. She also forgot that I was a Cardassian male and smiling was not one of our strong features.

“If they feel comfortable with you, people will tell you stories about themselves that will reveal their deepest secrets.”

“But what if the stories aren’t true?” I challenged. “I could smile till my cheeks hurt, and you could tell me any kind of story you wanted—and what would I know about you except what you invented?”

“You would know, if you were truly listening, the kind of story I use to define myself,” she asserted.

“But it’s not the truth!” I maintained.

“Why not? Because it’s not what you believe? Or it doesn’t fit a definition of the truth that someone taught you? Look at people, Elim.” Palandine gestured as if the enclosure were filled with people. “Observe them. The way they walk and talk, the way they hold themselves and eat their meals. That’s what they believe about themselves. Is it the ‘truth’? Are they really that way? I don’t know. Perhaps it is a lie. But what people lie about the most are themselves, and these lies become the stories they believe and want to tell you.”

“As long as I’m smiling,” I mumbled.

. . . 

“Truth, as we’ve learned to define it, is not only overrated,” she went on with a controlled passion, “it’s designed to keep people in the dark.”

This last statement stopped me.

“You mean the way we’ve been taught?” I asked.

“Of course.”

“What about our government?”

“They tell us the stories that we need to know in order to be good citizens,” she replied carefully.

“They don’t tell us the truth, is what you’re saying,” I concluded.

“There you go again. They tell us their truth, Elim, and we are here to learn how to listen.”

. . . 

“Let the ones without power scowl and make fierce faces.You smile. It’s an invitation to connect with another person. And once the invitation is accepted, relax and listen … you’ll come to know as much as you’ll ever need to about that person,” she said with a smile that I greedily accepted.

“You would know, if you were truly listening, the kind of story I use to define myself,” she asserted. 

“But it’s not the truth!” I maintained.

“Why not?” 

SO when I was saying he’s taking Palandine’s place in this dynamic with Julian early on I was not kidding and I was not wrong hahaha. And it’s also what this entire book is, in the end. Trusting Julian to ‘truly listen’ to the story under the stories is maybe the biggest show of trust and vulnerability Garak could ever extend to anyone. Extremely The Wire-core once more.

The idea that tiny Garak was too outwardly glum and serious is. Amazing and brainbreaking. People feeling uncomfortable under his gaze b/c he’ll just like scowl distrustfully at them. Palandine I don’t know if you fixed him or made him worse but you certainly did something fundamental to him and committed him to the bit and for that I cannot thank you enough

- I no longer had Palandine to myself—but surprisingly, I didn’t mind, in fact I was pleased that Charaban was here. His stillness, like everything else about him, had grace and strength. I sneaked another look in his direction and marveled that this was the same person I had first encountered in the storeroom. He returned my look, and in the next few moments a bond grew between us that I had never thought possible. 

You know if Barkan was really smart or had the capacity for extended self-control he would have just kept stringing Garak along as the third in his disastrous marriage. Garak is used to subsisting on the merest scraps of affection and consideration, you’d barely even have to feed him. (Ala Daisuke Jigen with many an evil ex, for the Lupinheads out there lol) A threesome here and there and maybe gently stroking his hair afterwards and you’d have him for life, probably. Alas or perhaps thankfully Barkan is ultimately just an asshole and not that smart. 

- A Bolian client came down the steps outside the door and was about to enter the shop, but for some reason he stopped at the threshold. He looked at us, turned, and went back the way he came.

LMAO that guy was like ‘something really fraught and homosexual is going on here and that is frankly none of my business, as you were gentlemen don’t mind me.’ A real ally and a bro.  

“I’m keeping you from your business.” Bashir stood up. “I won’t take up any more of your time.”

“I’m pleased you stopped by.” I was about to escort him to the door.

“No, you’re not,” he said quietly.

“Excuse me?”

“Garak, I come from a culture that has perfected the ‘stiff upper lip,’” he explained with the same faint smile.

“What does that mean?” It was a genuine question; there was a change in his attitude.

“It means that we never complain, never admit to our feelings, never ask for help. It’s just not done,” Bashir explained. “And those people who lack character’ and insist on airing their needs—especially in public—are subject to ridicule… and worse. Does this sound familiar?”

“Perhaps,” I replied softly.

“But I’m also a doctor, Garak. And I know which group of people suffers the most. I really won’t take up any more of your time.” He extended his hand, which he rarely did, and I took it. “Thank you for the tea.” He turned and went out the door.

I stood there for a long moment, deeply upset. I felt trapped within myself, knowing what I had to do to get out but unable even to begin. Yes, Doctor, it does sound familiar. But as to the question of which group suffers the most…

. . . 

After Charaban’s betrayal I became as withdrawn and solitary as I had been when I first came to the Institute. I tried to spend time with Palandine, but it never quite worked out; between her regular duties and the recruitment and planning for the female Competition, she had little time for anything else. But there was something else, a distance that had crept between us that I didn’t understand. I felt ashamed, that somehow I had failed and it was my fault, but I found it difficult to discuss. This was probably the loneliest I had ever been.

1) Going NUTS over the fact that these are separated by ONE paragraph. Andy Robinson staring directly into the camera making parallels between the main love interests in this book like ‘Am I making myself clear here. Do you get it yet’. Also really interesting to make this relationship pattern a, well, pattern in Garak’s life, and not a unique element of his and Bashir’s thing (which Doylistically was basically a byproduct of cowardly 90s standards for tv writing more than anything else lol)

2) But there was something else, a distance that had crept between us that I didn’t understand. I felt ashamed, that somehow I had failed and it was my fault, but I found it difficult to discuss. This was probably the loneliest I had ever been.

 The Palandine/Bashir parallel train barrels on, scoring a deep trail of heartache into my soul. Also in that case it’s so sad because he really hasn’t done anything wrong or anything to be ashamed of, Barkan and Palandine are the ones who fucked him over :’( 

3) I stood there for a long moment, deeply upset. I felt trapped within myself, knowing what I had to do to get out but unable even to begin. + Tolan’s grief at seeing Garak after Bamorren: “He’s hard, Mila,” Father said. . . . “But to the point where he’s unreachable?” Father asked. “Where nothing penetrates? How can he express even his basic needs if he’s trapped inside a shell?” + Just as I had learned to do when Uncle Enabran locked me in that suffocating closet. Was this the universal torture for failure, I wondered?...........................................................................

4) More proof to my eyes that Julian’s side of this whole thing seems to be more about thinking Garak doesn’t actually want him to be there. He doesn’t think he’s welcome here or that he’ll be able to help more than he hurts with whatever’s going on for him. ‘I really won’t take up any more of your time’ AUGH 

Garak buddy… every time he tries to get closer to you or extend some care, you bristle like a hedgehog even though you’re trying to do it in as polite and decent a way as possible — what is the poor guy supposed to think beyond a certain point lmao. (Though on the hopeful/beautiful side… what is this entire book but Garak actually taking the advice/suggestion Bashir gives in this scene to reexperience his past and put it in context — not in the holosuites, but in his own way by writing it all out in a way that makes sense to his Cardassian brain and then sharing that with Julian directly. Like. The last line of the book is ‘You’re always welcome, Doctor’. Elim ‘I will become emotionally healthy enough to ask Julian to come visit with an open heart if it fucking kills me’ Garak)  

I’m so soft for how careful they both are with each other in this scene, though. Even in this difficult place where there’s stuff they don’t understand about each other and they are having difficulty connecting for… several reasons, they are trying so so hard to be good to each other. Which is why I think they have every chance of working out brilliantly long-term; once you’ve got a mutual respect, willingness to keep working to understand and communicate with each other even when it’s difficult, and that fundamental ‘I don’t want to hurt you’ good faith in a relationship you’re a good chunk of the way there, from what I have observed. 

Julian cares that Garak was upset, much more than he cares about being right, and this time he shows it in a more private setting where Garak can take it in. They’re trying!  

5) The implication in But as to the question of which group suffers the most… that Garak also realizes how much he’s hurting Julian by not being able to let him in…

Most of all the fact that Bashir in this scene is like ‘Listen Garak I get emotional repression. I’m literally British.’ is one of the funniest things that happen in the whole book. To me. (I’m Norwegian, culturally this has. Some overlap with my experience, let’s say lol) 

- Six had long since gone home. He wanted to succeed so badly, but his body couldn’t withstand the constant assault of the training. I’m sure he found an academic situation. 

Oh thank GOD. Genuinely so relieved to hear this. This is how many times a nerd boy must pass out before he rests in the sand and gets to go to normal university instead of murderschool, the question is finally answered.  

- Tain has shown up again and I want to throw rocks at him until he goes away. And I know he won’t. 

- My shed has become somewhat more bearable, but the clutter and confinement of the interior space requires that I leave the door open. To keep myself busy when I’m not working with the med unit, Doctor, I am engaged in a project I must tell you about. It baffles me. Perhaps you can tell me if I’m losing my mind altogether.

. . . 

[Parmak] turned to me with the strangest expression on his face—and looked me directly in the eyes for the first time.

AUGH. (Plus, the fact that Parmak consistently calls him ‘Elim’.)

But what baffles me, Doctor, is that I attach no meaning to what I’m doing here. I’m just doing it because I need to. And to be truthful, I don’t see this as a memorial at all. On the contrary—if I could, I’d singlehandedly rebuild this city myself, piece by piece. I stood here watching Parmak’s blood dry on this pile of rubble, engulfed by a feeling of loss and utter mystification as to what these piles mean.

Just assure me that I’m not going mad, Doctor.

This whole section is the biggest mood and I’ve rarely felt closer to a fictional character haha. His quietly dissociated tired bemusement both with himself and what he’s doing and Parmak’s reaction is… yeah that’s exactly what that feels like. And ‘Just assure me that I’m not going mad, Doctor’ has done irreparable damage to my psyche, I’m going to be thinking about this forever

- Palandine gestured that she would deal with me and sent the mate on her way.

“So what did you use me for?” I asked.

“What do we ever use each other for?” she replied without hesitation.

“Answering a question with a question is an old trick, Palandine.”

“No trick. I needed a friend.”

“And you don’t need a friend now” I hated the tone that was creeping into my voice.

“It’s complicated, Elim.”

I was afraid to ask why.

“What did you use me for?” she asked.

The question truly baffled me. I only wanted her love. Was that using her? I would gladly have given mine in return.

Still gnawing on concrete over Garak partially reenacting Palandine’s way of approaching him with Bashir in the beginning. At that point he also needed a friend (and he needed someone to run to Sisko like ‘THE SPY TALKED TO ME :D’ to deliver intel through so he was also using him lol.) The way Garak picks up traits from the people he loves like he’s doing the soul version of Odo’s shapeshifting-as-closeness thing because it’s the only way he knows. 

- “So it’s Eight,” he said, dismissing me from his world.

“I don’t think you understand, Barkan….” Palandine began to say.

“It’s not necessary that he understand,” I dismissed him from my world.

Barkan… you did not understand what you were doing, getting into an emotionally and sexually charged petty-off with this man. RIP your stupid ass I guess lmao

“I wanted to tell you. But when I realized … I didn’t want to hurt you,” she said with a gentleness that rankled me.

“I’m not hurt. Neither one of you can hurt me. I wish you a successful… partnership.”

Palandine is so interesting!!!! And like here’s one of the things that I think make a big difference in Garak’s relationship with Palandine vs. his relationship with Julian — who tells him exactly the same thing in ‘The Wire’, after all! (I don’t want to hurt you) Because Palandine doesn’t really mean it, does she? She doesn’t mean ‘I don’t want you to be hurting, I want to protect you from being harmed’, she means ‘I didn’t want to be the thing that hurt you; I didn’t want to be faced with your hurt’, while she is doing things that will inevitably hurt him. I think there is genuine affection and care on her side, but they’re in such a fucked up, brutal world and they’re so young. 

‘I’m not hurt. Who’s hurt’ says teen crying quiet tears of blood as his world falls to pieces 

“I love him, Elim. And I’m also ambitious. I want what he wants. You’ll understand this when you find someone to share your….”

Not me wondering how much of this has echoes to Mila’s relationship to Tain and how that’s part of what Garak reacts to — that survival mechanism of ‘I want what he wants’, subsuming and submitting yourself completely. Which of course is what a Cardassian is supposed to do to the state, and that Garak also does with Tain for the vast majority of both of their lives. The worst part is that Palandine really had some reason to hope for more — she and Barkan start out in a more equal position than it’s implied Mila and Tain ever did, that’s always framed as an inter-class thing, and while Palandine’s family situation is not as grand as Barkan’s it doesn’t seem like it crosses the service class/ruling class barrier. But the structure of the state imposed on every level of society right down to the most intimate and personal areas of life is going to crush the life out of that hope real fast. I’m sorry girl. Wanting to have a fighting chance in this world isn’t the worst sin anyone’s committed and tbf you are like a teen by all accounts

- “My name is Elim Garak. I don’t know where I’m being sent, but I hope you’ll remember me as your friend.”

“When I was told today that I was One Lubak, I was honored… and afraid that I’d lose you as a friend. Thank you. My name is Pythas Lok.”

Neither one of us ever took our eyes off Mila, who was still trying to blend into his surroundings.

Crying gently into my cereal

Garak ‘I wasn’t sure I could ever call him a friend’ vs. Pythas ‘Afraid that I’d lose you as a friend’

Something powerful was stirring deep inside me, and I began to shake. Mila snapped his head to the side, the way he does when he senses light or heat change. Convulsive waves pushed up from my center and tears filled my eyes, blinding me. I had absolutely no control over what was happening to me. By the time the convulsions subsided and my eyes cleared, Mila had disappeared into the rock-and-sand home he came from. 

Absolutely sobbing my eyes out into my cereal 

Spoiler warning: Garak having to go somewhere to be alone after something calamitous happens in his life because that’s the only way he can cry is a theme that will reemerge later and do unspeakable emotional damage to me personally haha

As I hiked back to the Institute, I had the thought that maybe somebody was doing the same thing for me and bringing me back home.

No baby you see someone is doing the exact opposite of this to you right now because you have a basic goodness and capacity for real honest love that Tain doesn’t and he’ll never in a million years set you free just because he loves you and it’s the right thing for you 

- And Jadzia is gone. The station is a sadder and grayer place without her. I’m surprised at how keenly I feel her absence. Even though I know that her symbiont has been “joined” with another person … well, it’s not the same, is it? Indeed, knowing that Jadzia’s personality is somehow contained along with several others within this other person, I wonder how I would react if we were ever to meet.

:(

The doctor has reminded me that these are personal choices, and it’s not for us to judge how one chooses to mourn. Quite so. Who can even begin to understand another’s grief? “Do you judge people by the clothes they ask you to make?” the doctor asked once. I bit back my response, but the point was well taken.

:’) little soul-healing brush of Julian kindness time 

- “What does Tir Remara want with you?” Colonel Kira demanded, ignoring my offer of tea. Immediately an entire picture formed in my head of the scenario her abrupt question suggested: Tir Remara—a spy, perhaps even a changeling, preying upon a lonely Cardassian who was working for the Federation and engaged in top-secret work.

“She wants to have my children,” I replied with a serious look.

“You can’t be serious,” she managed.

“I’m not. Now do you want this tea or not?”

Kira should just have strangled you all those times she wanted to you snarky asshole fhdskja

[fashiondisastertournament]

🎉The bracket is here! Round 1 Group D concluded! + Round 1 Masterlist

The 64 fictional characters who will compete for the title of the Worst Dressed have been now selected. Thank you once more for your nominations! ALL VOTING WITHIN ROUND 1 HAS NOW CONCLUDED

The bracket is super tiny on Tumblr, so here are the matchups in text format, divided into 4 groups (A, B, C, D). Groups A & C have all the frequently nominated characters in them, while groups B & D exist to give a chance to those characters who were nominated only once but in a particularly convincing way or who just look exceptionally Disastrous! All matches have been randomized - but I made sure to put the two most frequently nominated characters on two different sides of the bracket, not to worry ❤️

ROUND 1: MATCHUPS & MASTERLIST

Group A (popular nominees; top left of bracket) VOTING CONCLUDED

Matchup #1: Taako (The Adventure Zone) vs Trexel Geistman (Stellar Firma) -> Trexel wins!

Matchup #2: Sanji (One Piece) vs Franky (One Piece) -> Sanji wins!

Matchup #3: Hunter (The Owl House) vs Harrier du Bois (Disco Elysium) -> Harrier wins!

Matchup #4: Raikou Shimizu (Nabari no Ou) vs Goro Akechi (Persona 5) -> Raikou wins!

Matchup #5: Kanatsun (Entropic Float) vs Leon (Pokémon) -> Leon wins!

Matchup #6: Konoha (Kagerou Project) vs Rui Kamishiro (Project Sekai) -> Rui wins!

Matchup #7: Pannacotta Fugo (Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure) vs Sora (Kingdom Hearts) -> Fugo wins!

Matchup #8: Sock (Welcome to Hell) vs Midoriya Izuku (My Hero Academia) -> Sock wins!

Matchup #9: Shigeo Kageyama (Mob Psycho 100) vs Cecil Gershwin Palmer (Welcome to Night Vale) -> Cecil wins!

Group B (special chance; bottom left of bracket) VOTING CONCLUDED

Matchup #10: Gamzee (Homestuck) vs Tidus (Final Fantasy X) -> Tidus wins!

Matchup #11: Pico (Newsgrounds Museum 2 version) vs Hecatia Lapislazuli (Touhou Project) -> Pico wins!

Matchup #12: Alear (Fire Emblem: Engage) vs Captain Agent 3 (Splatoon 3) -> Alear wins!

Matchup #13: Mineta Minoru (My Hero Academia) vs Dr. Andre (Inside Job) -> Minoru wins!

Matchup #14: Wiggle Wigglebottom (Bugsnax) vs Tighnari (Genshin Impact) -> Wiggle wins!

Matchup #15: Daredevil/Matt Murdock (Marvel 616) vs Tingle (Zelda) -> Tingle wins!

Matchup #16: Lesley (Don’t Hug Me I’m Scared) vs Shouta Aizawa (My Hero Academia) -> Lesley wins!

Group C (popular nominees; top right of bracket) VOTING CONCLUDED

Matchup #17: Gabriel Agreste (Miraculous Ladybug) vs DIO (Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure) -> Gabriel wins!

Matchup #18: Satan (Obey Me!) vs Naruto (Naruto) -> Satan wins!

Matchup #19: Teru Hanazawa (Mob Psycho 100) vs Leonardo (Rise of the TMNT) -> Teru wins!

Matchup #20: Neku Sakuraba (The World Ends with You) vs Julian Bashir (Star Trek) -> Julian wins!

Matchup #21: Nanashi (Shin Megami Tensei IV: Apocalypse) vs Rex (Xenoblade Chronicles 2) -> Rex wins!

Matchup #22: Ex (Puyo Puyo Tetris) vs The Sixth Doctor (Doctor Who) -> Sixth Doctor wins!

Matchup #23: Quark (Star Trek) vs Harper Finkle (Wizards of Waverly Place) -> Harper wins!

Matchup #24: Kusuo Saiki (The Disastrous Life of Saiki K) vs Zaphod Beeblebrox (The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy) -> Zaphod wins!

Group D (special chance; bottom right of bracket)  VOTING CONCLUDED

Matchup #25: Ryu Natsume (Paradox Live) vs Lu Yi (Dislyte) -> Ryu wins!

Matchup #26: Hannah Montana (Hannah Montana) vs Willy Wonka (Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory) -> Hannah wins!

Matchup #27: Miuccia Miuller (Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure) vs Gonzo (The Muppet Show) -> Miuccia wins!

Matchup #28: Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way (My Immortal) vs Leviathan (Obey Me!) -> Ebony wins!

Matchup #29: Haiji Senri (Len’en) vs Dick Grayson (DC) -> Dick wins!

Matchup #30: Raizou (One Piece) vs Serizawa Katsuya (Mob Psycho 100) -> Raizou wins!

Matchup #31: Blue Sargent (The Raven Cycle) vs Ghetsis Harmonia (Pokémon Black and White) -> Ghetsis wins!

Matchup #32: Jake Sisko (Star Trek) vs Condiment King (Batman: The Animated Series) -> Jake wins!

Questions? Concerns? Complaints? Please check the FAQ under read-more for answers!

And as always... may the Worst Dressed win!

FAQ

~"How is [x] character a fashion disaster? I like their look/ they're iconic/ they look alright/ etc. etc." First of all, this is a very lighthearted competition that doesn't mean to be negative or judgmental! A Fashion Disaster can sometimes be (affectionate): in some cases there's nothing more iconic than a bit of this pizazz. I like quite a few of the looks on this list (and sometimes dress much worse) but if they have been included, this means that either: 1) they have been nominated multiple times 2) they have been nominated at least once and whoever nominated them provided a very convincing or funny explanation of why they were a Fashion Disaster (for example by pointing out one particularly bad outfit - not necessarily their main outfit!) 3) they have been nominated at least once and upon looking them up, I noticed that they tick many of the boxes that were described repeatedly in other people's explanations of what they consider disastrous: e.g. clashing patterns, excessive accessories, crocs, bad haircuts, etc. etc. In any case, every poll will come with a brief explanation of why people have been nominating a certain character! To make sure that people vote informed ❤️ ~"Why are you randomizing matchups instead of seeding?" I totally see the value of seeding for most competitions, but this one here is largely unpredictable - a lot of characters got the same amount of nominations, and how Disastrous they are is entirely subjective. The competition is also quite visual-based - it's about looks rather than knowing a character, so it's more likely that people will vote for an unknown character than in other competitions, which risk becoming popularity polls quite quickly. Basically: I'd simply have no idea how to determine the ranking of most contestants here for proper seeding! That's why I opt for randomized matches - but I did make sure to put the two most nominated characters on the opposing sides of the bracket. ~"Why is [x] character not included?" There was a total of 174 unique characters nominated to this tournament! If the one you were rooting for did not make it, I'm sorry! One or more of the following was likely the cause: 1) they have not been nominated more than once 2) they have not ticked as many boxes for what other people considered disastrous as some other characters with a single nomination did 3) a lot of characters have been submitted from the same source. After choosing 3 most nominated ones, I couldn't include more! The rule is max. 3 characters per source. ~"Is propaganda encouraged?"

More than encouraged! Please tag me if you make any posters/posts/try to support your faves in another way throughout the tournament, I'd love to see and reblog it! ❤️

[gay-disabled-characters-showdown]

Characters Confirmed to be in the Showdown

This is most characters that have 2 or more submissions already. This will probably be updated frequently. Please feel free to still submit propaganda for these characters if you want. Additionally, the amount of submissions will probably not influence if the character gets in at this point, although that may change.

Ones with 5+ Submissions (You can probably stop entering propaganda for these ones)

Ballister Boldheart from Nimona with 8

General Amaya from the Dragon Prince with 6

Heart from Moonlight Chicken with 6

Harrowhawk Nonagesimus from The Locked Tomb series with 5

Suletta Mercury from Mobile Suit Gundam: The Witch from Mercury with 5

Quinni Gallagher-Jones from Heartbreak High with 5

Ones with 3-4 submissions

Wylan Van Eck from Six of Crows with 4

Yang Xiao Long from RWBY with 4

Melanie King from The Magnus Archives with 4

Renarin Kholin from The Stormlight Achive with 3

Tougou Mimori from Yuuki Yuuna is a Hero with 3

Korra from Avatar: Legend of Korra with 3

Norma Khan from Dead End: Paranormal Park with 3

Loam Arnault from Entropic Float with 3

Adam Parrish from The Raven Cycle with 3

Ones with 2 submissions

Julian Bashir from Star Trek: Deep Space Nine

Eda Clawthorne from The Owl House

Luz Noceda from The Owl House

Ty Blackthorn from The Shadowhunter Chronicles

Snake from Zero Escape

Sun Spider from various Spider-Man content

Wu Zeitan from Iron Widow

Ashton Greymoore from Critical Role

Kanatsune Ame from Entropic Float

Viktor from Arcane

Ianthe Tridentarius from The Locked Tomb

Ones with 1 submission right now (but we like them so they are definitely in the showdown)

Kaz Brekker from Six of Crows

Rose Lavillant from Miraculous Ladybug

Alex Claremont-Diaz from Red, White & Royal Blue

Neil Josten from All for the Game

Robin Buckley from Stranger Things

[chameleon777-me]

Dear #StarTrek fans, I would like to announce that Club IDIC Chronicles: Episode 30 - Fighting For Freedom is now available for viewing in the Club IDIC Chronicles playlist on my #youtubechannel: The Stormin' Latter-Day Saint. In this episode, we look at 'By Inferno's Light' from Star Trek: Deep Space Nine and discuss many things, including: *Garak's relationship with Tain, how it affected him as an individual, and how it led him to seek out Julian's company. *Garak and Julian Bashir's friendship and deep connection. *Garak and Ziyal's relationship and Garak's inability to understand why Ziyal loved him when he struggled to love himself. *How Elim Garak is a divergent individual simply because he 'failed' to live up to the expectations that Cardassia and the Cardassian social standards placed on him. *How all people have their stories and they are more than just numbers or statistics. *The sad fact that nobody noticed that the real Julian was missing from the station for a month and had been replaced by a Changeling - How did that make the real Julian feel? *How it takes true courage to face fears, weakness, and their own divergence to the point where you use those things to better yourself, your life, and also attempt to help others. *How accepting yourself and the way you are is not the same as loving yourself. *How Garak and Julian were emotional orphans because of their divergent natures and how they gravitated towards each other quite easily because of that. *How Worf continued to fight during his time in the camp despite being physically broken because he sees giving up as dishonorable. *Worf and Martok's tumultuous relationship. *The famous, fan-created performances 'Alone, Together' and 'Little Achievements' that were performed by Alexander Siddig, Andy Robinson, and other wonderful actors from Sid City Social Club online some time ago. @startrek @startrekonpplus @podsundaydinner @visitornana @deep.space.garak @deepspacepride @syfy.sistas #StarTrekDS9 #episode #series #battle #idic #relationships #diversity #education #conspiracy #MentalHealth #emotion #health #selfworth #battle #impersonation #mentalhealthawareness #resilience #acceptance https://www.instagram.com/p/Cd6Zrv0pTRP/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[tiggy-q]

Name ten favorite characters from ten different things (books, tv, film, etc.), then tag ten people

Oh my gosh I don't know how to do this but omg thanks @mrs-evadne-cake

Mine are

1. Arthur Morgan from Red Dead Redemption 2

2. Anders from Dragon Age 2

3. All Might from Boku no Hero Academia

4. Edmund Pevensie from The Chronicles of Narnia

5. Korra from Legend of Korra

6. Greedling from Fullmetal Alchemist

7. Eddie Kaspbrak from It

8. Dean Winchester from Supernatural

9. Martha Smith from Doctor Who

10. Julian Bashir from Star Trek Deep Space 9

@barbarosabeee

@sapiens-cattus

@eternion

@flannel-wearing-bee-queen

@narcolepticroses

@steampoweredstrawberry

@walterkov

@mellocentric-teardrops

[basingstokemercury]

I LOVE HIM

[gplusbfics]

Back with some Garashir recs

I’ve been a bit absent of late, but I’m still here, and still reading Garashir fics and still meaning to rec them, as is the point of this blog. However, the last about a month has been a bit tumultuous. Most recently I was on a family reunion type vacation (it’s a good thing) in Rhode Island, during which I picked up giardia, which is still messing up my guts. Let me tell you, giardiasis is no fun at all. 

Anyway, in lieu of doing a single post or separate post with a lot of detailed reviews, here are some recent fics (AO3) that I particularly loved:

The Rose of Terok Nor by Cicak Brilliant, highly amusing send-up of early 2000s anime/manga fan culture based on the premise of “If Cardassia is Japan, then maybe it has yaoi manga?” I’m not and never have been into that scene, but I am have been among those for many, many years, including back in the day, and OH GOD I could picture everything -- the fan girls, the book store display, the animated drawings... Oh, and it’s Garashir too, making it A+.

The Vadari Chronicles by AuroraNova ( @aurora-nova-fic ) Ongoing series based on the premise, begun in an earlier work, that after the war, post-Canon, Bashir is tossed out of Starfleet and Garak meanwhile has to hightail it off Cardassia. Rather like Rick Blaine and Captain Renault in Casablanca, they decide to go off together, leaving everybody behind, and settle on Vadari VII, a remote federation moon. They aren’t lovers, but roommates, but... could they be more? Lots of interesting world-building, great character development, etc. It’s at 9 parts so far, so get going on reading it! 

The Hollow Hand by Prose_By_Rose ( @prose-by-rose ) Very recent (um, today!) fic that shows mastery of the classic Garak-and-Bashir “lunch fic” and “lit fic.” I absolutely love the way this story flows, the way Julian grows, and the way Garak gets what he acts like he doesn’t want.)

Bird Feeders by Eilu ( @eilupt ) Cute little piece from a series called “Suburbs,” in which Garak and Bashir are all domestic. This particular episode has to do with the human (specificaly English) practice of feeding birds, which seen from a Cardassian (swear I just typed Garakassian) is rather odd. 

Telling Secrets by Misslucy21 (likely @misslucy21 ) I have a great weakness for stories relating to Julian’s genetic engineering, so this story, told from a different angle, was quite welcome. Basically, Julian, along with Miles and Keiko, explain to Molly what the hubbub around Julian has been, in case she hears any nasty rumors after the revelation of his genetics. Julian has to explain it in terms a child can understand. An additional aspect of this fic is that Julian is not neurotypical and goes into how that’s a separate thing from the engineering.

Memory Is a Cage by EdosianOrchids901 ( @edosianorchids901 ) In which Julian discovered that Garak isn’t fully recovered from his claustrophobia. I suppose it’s a “hurt-comfort” fic, a genre I like, only without there being, I dunno, serious physical illness, torture, etc. 

The Spy Who Loved Me by Starlady ( @starlady38 ) A post-Canon fic based off the “Season 8″ sketched out in the What We Left Behind documentary. If you haven’t seen that, it won’t make sense. Also... well, I won’t spoil the story itself. 

Existentialism by StarTravel  In which Julian is shown questioning his right to existence -- Jules was basically killed to make him -- at three different points in his life. Will he ever really feel justified?

Cut by ConceptaDecency ( @conceptadecency ) A wonderful, if painful, prequel to DS9, harking back to a day in the life of a very, very young Garak, who is out in the market with Mila. An exploration of the norms the boy was trying to live up to and the peculiarities and hurts of his family situation.

I’m missing a couple of Tumblr @’s, so if you have them, let me know so I can put them in.

Wendy  P.S. Just did another post with MORE fic recs.

[sexysideoftheforce]

3, 14, 15? :D

Hewwo

3. list your fandoms and one character from each that you identify with?

Why don’t u present me with the lady or the tiger, that’d be so much easier. I don’t know what fandoms I’m in or who I identify with. Anyway. Dragon age is probably Dorian bc of his personal quest. Star Wars uhhh the space worm that tries to eat the millennium falcon, I too am grumpy and hungry often. Star Trek is Julian Bashir babeyyyy(even if I’m not actually in that fandom)

14. are you a musician?

This question almost made me black out bc it made me remember for a second that I almost signed up for something but it’s all good I never actually agreed. But yeah, sadly I play the violin. And yes I am biased against every other instrument and think the violin is the best. My violin(w/e the fuck kind it is) is named Yzma and the bow is Kronk. And I’m learning some motherfckuing concerto rn that needs to stop being the way it is or I’m going to burn down my whole house and throw myself into a river

15. five most influential books over your life?

The Overlander Chronicles didn’t have to go that hard but they did, they did it for us. Every single Brandon Sanderson book. Someone says Brandon Sanderson and I eat a whole hat shop and my left foot. Also Narnia. u know what else fucked so hard? The Giver. I still cry over that bc I’m weenie hut jr

[fashiondisastertournament]

🎉 Bracket + Round 2 Masterlist: Voting for Round 2 concluded!

Round 1 Masterlist

ROUND 2: MATCHUPS & MASTERLIST

Group A (left side of the bracket) VOTING CONCLUDED

Matchup #2.1: Trexel Geistman (Stellar Firma) vs Sanji (One Piece) -> Trexel wins!

Matchup #2.2: Harrier du Bois (Disco Elysium) vs Raikou Shimizu (Nabari no Ou) -> Harrier wins!

Matchup #2.3: Leon (Pokémon) vs Rui Kamishiro (Project Sekai) -> Rui wins!

Matchup #2.4: Pannacotta Fugo (Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure) vs Sock (Welcome to Hell) -> Fugo wins!

Matchup #2.5: Cecil Gershwin Palmer (Welcome to Night Vale) vs Tidus (Final Fantasy X) -> Cecil wins!

Matchup #2.6: Pico (Newsgrounds Museum 2) vs Alear (Fire Emblem: Engage) -> Alear wins!

Matchup #2.7: Mineta Minoru (My Hero Academia) vs Wiggle Wigglebottom (Bugsnax) -> Wiggle wins!

Matchup #2.8: Tingle (Zelda) vs Lesley (Don’t Hug Me I’m Scared) -> Tingle wins!

Group B (right side of the bracket) VOTING CONCLUDED

Matchup #2.9: Gabriel Agreste (Miraculous Ladybug) vs Satan (Obey Me!) -> Gabriel wins!

Matchup #2.10: Teru Hanazawa (Mob Psycho 100) vs Julian Bashir (Star Trek) -> Teru wins!

Matchup #2.11: Rex (Xenoblade Chronicles 2) vs The Sixth Doctor (Doctor Who) -> Sixth Doctor wins!

Matchup #2.12: Harper Finkle (Wizards of Waverly Place) vs Zaphod Beeblebrox (The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy) -> Harper wins!

Matchup #2.13: Ryu Natsume (Paradox Live) vs Hannah Montana (Hannah Montana) -> Hannah wins!

Matchup #2.14: Miucia Miuller (Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure) vs Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way (My Immortal) -> Miuccia wins!

Matchup #2.15: Dick Grayson (DC) vs Raizou (One Piece) -> Raizou wins!

Matchup #2.16: Ghetsis Harmonia (Pokémon Black and White) vs Jake Sisko (Star Trek) -> Ghetsis wins!

Questions? Concerns? Complaints? Please check the FAQ under read-more for answers!

And as always... may the Worst Dressed win!

FAQ

~"How is [x] character a fashion disaster? I like their look/ they're iconic/ they look alright/ etc. etc." First of all, this is a very lighthearted competition that doesn't mean to be negative or judgmental! A Fashion Disaster can sometimes be (affectionate): in some cases there's nothing more iconic than a bit of this pizazz. I like quite a few of the looks on this list (and sometimes dress much worse) but if they have been included, this means that either: 1) they have been nominated multiple times 2) they have been nominated at least once and whoever nominated them provided a very convincing or funny explanation of why they were a Fashion Disaster (for example by pointing out one particularly bad outfit - not necessarily their main outfit!) 3) they have been nominated at least once and upon looking them up, I noticed that they tick many of the boxes that were described repeatedly in other people's explanations of what they consider disastrous: e.g. clashing patterns, excessive accessories, crocs, bad haircuts, etc. etc. In any case, every poll will come with a brief explanation of why people have been nominating a certain character! To make sure that people vote informed ❤️ ~"Why are you randomizing matchups instead of seeding?" I totally see the value of seeding for most competitions, but this one here is largely unpredictable - a lot of characters got the same amount of nominations, and how Disastrous they are is entirely subjective. The competition is also quite visual-based - it's about looks rather than knowing a character, so it's more likely that people will vote for an unknown character than in other competitions, which risk becoming popularity polls quite quickly. Basically: I'd simply have no idea how to determine the ranking of most contestants here for proper seeding! That's why I opt for randomized matches - but I did make sure to put the two most nominated characters on the opposing sides of the bracket. ~"Why is [x] character not included?" There was a total of 174 unique characters nominated to this tournament! If the one you were rooting for did not make it, I'm sorry! One or more of the following was likely the cause: 1) they have not been nominated more than once 2) they have not ticked as many boxes for what other people considered disastrous as some other characters with a single nomination did 3) a lot of characters have been submitted from the same source. After choosing 3 most nominated ones, I couldn't include more! The rule is max. 3 characters per source. ~"Is propaganda encouraged?" More than encouraged! Please tag me if you make any posters/posts/try to support your faves in another way throughout the tournament, I'd love to see and reblog it! ❤️

[gay-disabled-characters-showdown]

Characters Confirmed in the Showdown

(Pretty much finalized at this point)

1.) Submissions are still open if you want to submit propaganda or a character.

2.) If you submitted a character and they are not here or on the rejected character list then it was probably an issue on our end, feel free to send us an ask about it.

3.) If you’re like, hey these are technically the same character, why are they in twice, it’s because we think it’s funny.

4.) Submissions for our sanity will probably close in like a week, we’ll see what the vibe is in a bit.

5.) There are some characters that we are still looking for propaganda for, they will be at the very bottom of the list under the cut. Additionally, we reserve the right to not use some propaganda submitted.

6.) Currently, 78/181 image descriptions are written. What this means for when the showdown will actually start? I don’t know, it’s just gonna be a while.

Superheroes:

Sun Spider / Charlotte ‘Charlie’ Webber - Spider-Man Media

Larry Trainor - Doom Patrol

Crazy Jane / Kay Challis - Doom Patrol

James ‘Bucky’ Barnes - Marvel

Joseph Wilson / Jericho - DC

Hartley Rathaway / Pied Piper - DC

Wade Wilson / Deadpool - Deadpool

Charles Xavier / Professor X - X-Men

Matt Murdock / Daredevil - Marvel Comics

Star Wars/Trek:

Julian Bashir - Star Trek: Deep Space Nine

Luke Skywalker - Star Wars

Geordi La Forge - Star Trek: The Next Generation

Data - Star Trek: The Next Generation

Elim Garak - Star Trek: Deep Space Nine

Schnn T’gai Spock - Star Trek

Seven of Nine - Star Trek Discovery

T’Pol - Star Trek Enterpise

Keyla Detmer - Star Trek Discovery

Chirrut Îmwe - Rogue One

Darth Maul - Star Wars

Anime/Manga:

Kurogane - Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicle

Homura Akemi - Puella Magi Madoka Magica

Tougou Mimori - Yuuki Yunna is a Hero

Suletta Mercury - Mobile Suit Gundam: The Witch from Mercury

Qifrey - Witch Hat Atelier

Johnny Joestar - Steel Ball Run (JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure)

Hitori Gotoh - Bocchi the Rock!

Yuko ‘Isako’ Amasawa - Dennou Coil

Nodoka Hanadera / Cure Grace - Healin’ Good Precure

Crona - Soul Eater

Katsuki Yuuri - Yuri!!! On Ice

Yukari Kotozume / Cure Macaron - Kira Kira Precure a la Mode

Yoite - Nabari no Ou

Tokito Minoru - Wild Adapter

Non-English Language Media:

Rose Lavillant - Miraculous Ladybug

Heart - Moonlight Chicken

Leonardo - The Way He Looks

Xiao Xingchen - The Untamed

Wen Kexing - Faraway Wanderers

Zhou Zishu - Word of Honor

Zhou Zishu - Faraway Wanderers

Lan Wangji - The Untamed

Even - SKAM

Wei Wuxian - The Untamed

Chu Sangwoo - Semantic Error

Wen Kexing - Word of Honor

Hua Cheng - Heaven Official’s Blessing

Eliott Demaury - SKAM France

Cui Buqu - Peerless / Wushuang

Fu Shen - Golden Terrace / Huang Jin Tai

Yan Xiaohan - Golden Terrace / Huang Jin Tai

Xue Xian - Copper Coins / Tong Qian Kan Shi

Animated/TV Shows:

General Amaya - The Dragon Prince

Ballister Boldheart - Nimona

Yang Xiao Long - RWBY

Eda Clawthorne - The Owl House

Luz Noceda - The Owl House

Quinni Gallagher-Jones - Heartbreak High

Korra - Avatar: The Legend of Korra

Lapis Lazuli - Steven Universe

Norma Khan - Dead End: Paranormal Park

Ian Gallagher - Shameless

Entrapta - She-Ra and the Princesses of Power

Viktor - Arcane

Runaan - The Dragon Prince

Hiccup Haddock - How To Train Your Dragon

Robin Buckley - Stranger Things

Takashi ‘Shiro’ Shirogane - Voltron: Legendary Defender

Zuko - Avatar: The Last Airbender

Alex Manes - Roswell, New Mexico

Hunter - The Owl House

Felix - Heartstopper

Coach Ben Scott - Yellowjackets

Red Action - OK K.O.! Let’s Be Heroes

Lucius Spriggs - Our Flag Means Death

Prince Wilhelm - Young Royals

Lilith Clawthorne - The Owl House

Sameen Shaw - Person of Interest

Gobber - How To Train Your Dragon

Frankie Stein - Monster High

Lord Boxman - OK K.O.! Let’s Be Heroes

Books:

Wylan Van Eck - Six of Crows

Kessa - Rooks and Ruin

Kaz Brekker - Six of Crows

Renarin Kholin - The Stormlight Archive

Asta Headstrom - The Reckless Kind

Alexander Claremont-Diaz - Red, White & Royal Blue

Zofia Boguska - The Gilded Wolves

Tiberius ‘Ty’ Blackthorn - The Shadowhunter Chronicles

Anna Tromedlov - Hench by Natalie Zina

Havelock Vetinari - Discworld

Harrowhawk Nonagesimus - The Locked Tomb Series

Ling Chan - The Diviners Series

Shallan Davar - The Stormlight Archive

Niclays Roos - Priory of the Orange Tree (Roots of Chaos)

Wayne Terrisborn - Mistborn

Wu Zetian - Iron Widow

Spira - Tess of the Road

Artemisia of Naimes - Vespertine by Margaret Rogerson

Tunuva Melim - A Day of Fallen Night (Roots of Chaos)

Sabran IX Berethnet - Priory of the Orange Tree

Simon Snow - Carry On

Neil Josten - All for the Game

Baru Cormorant - The Masquerade Series

Percy Newton - The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue

Adam Parrish - The Raven Cycle

Queen Shulamit - The Second Mango by Shiro Glassman

Amara - Otherbound by Corinne Duyvis

Ianthe Tridentarius - The Locked Tomb Series

Mille Roper - The Arcadia Project Series

Nico di Angelo - Percy Jackson

Jem Carstairs / Ke Jian Ming - The Shadowhunter Chronicles

Frodo Baggins - Lord of the Rings

Jesper Fahey - Six of Crows

Val Palafox - Venom and Vow

Joly - Les Misérables

Baz Pitch - Carry On

Hearthstone - Magnus Chase

Jack Zimmerman - Check Please!

Dezi - The Sunbearer Trials

Nova Huang - Mooncakes

Jack Wolcott - Wayward Children

Charlie Spring - Heartstopper

Ambrosius Goldenloin - Nimona

Andrew Minyard - All for the Game

Eduoar Corabelli II (Ed) - The Reader Trilogy / Sea of Ink and Gold

Jimmy Kaga-Ricci - I Was Born for This

Kate Rose - Cosmoknights

Erik - The Tea Dragon Society

Elphaba Tropp - Wicked

Ballister Blackheart - Nimona

Video Games:

Floofty Fizzlebean - Bugsnax

Snorpy Fizzlebean - Bugsnax

Olivia - Fear and Hunger 2: Termina

Saki Tenma - Project Sekai

Daan - Fear and Hunger

Scavenger - Arknights

Snake - Zero Escape

Patchouli Knowledge - Touhou Project

Riku - Kingdom Hearts

Link - Legend of Zelda

Kuruto Ryuki - AI: The Somnium Files

Loam Arnault - Entropic Float

Ignis Scientia - Final Fantasy XV

Billie Lurk - Dishonered

Shane - Stardew Valley

Chicory - Chicory: A Colorful Tale

Gaige - Borderlands

Eichi Tenshouin - Ensemble Stars!!

Patricia Tannis - Borderlands Series

Alistair Hammerlock - Borderlands

Kin Kitsuragi - Disco Elysium

Harry du Bois - Disco Elysium

Blade - Honkai Star Rail

Other Media:

Lenore Vandernacht - Nevermore on Webtoon

Ashton Greymoore - Critical Role

Kale Romarin - Leif & Thorn

Melanie King - The Magnus Archives

Tedd Verres - El Goonish Shive

Valerie Day - Paranatural

Ayda Aguefort - Dimension 20

Jace Beleren - Magic: The Gathering

Will Kenrith - Magic: The Gathering

Arthur Lester - Malevolent

Hebe Harrison - Doctor Who

Hermann Gottlieb - Pacific Rim

Isabella Peretti - ValorPUNK

Sydney October Sargent - Camp Here and There

Zolf Smith - Rusty Quill podcast

Rudyard Funn - Wooden Overcoats

Merle Highchurch - The Adventure Zone: Balance

Jedidiah A.A. Martin - Camp Here and There

Jonathan Sims - The Magnus Archives

Juno Steel - The Penumbra Podcast

Buddy Aurinko - The Penumbra Podcast

Vespa Ilkay - The Penumbra Podcast

Princess Sapphia of Mytilene - High Class Homos

Ricky Potts - Ride the Cyclone

Characters we’d really like propaganda for:

Zuko - Avatar: The Last Airbender

Prince Wilhelm - Young Royals

Ambrosius Goldenloin - Nimona (book not movie)

Hermann Gottlieb - Pacific Rim

Andrew Minyard - All for the Game

Katsuki Yuuri - Yuri!!! On Ice

Jimmy Kaga-Ricci - I Was Born for This

Ballister Blackheart - Nimona (book not movie)

Vash the Stampede - Trigun (We’ve seen decent evidence for this character qualifying but without a submission we won’t include him)

[aurora-nova-fic]

New Fic: Comradery

As I’ve been thinking about where to go with the Vadari Chronicles and how to get there, I decided Julian really has to wrestle with his actions in “Extreme Measures.” It was such a drastic thing, for this upstandingly moral man to use a Romulan mind probe and steal his way into someone’s mind. If he was perfectly okay with it, he wouldn’t really be the Julian Bashir we know and love.

So, here is a bit of exploration.

Comradery (G&B, G, 1578 words)

[chameleon777-me]

Dear #StarTrek fans, I am pleased to announce that Club #IDIC Chronicles: #Episode 20 - Blessed Be The #Divergent Minds is now available for viewing! The episode can be found in the Club IDIC Chronicles playlist on my #youtubechannel: The Stormin' Latter-Day Saint. In this episode, we look at 'Data's Day' from #startrekthenextgeneration and discuss many things, including: *What being #Neurodivergent is and the spectrum of Neurodivergency. *How Neurodivergent individuals take things literally and the struggles they face from others and in life because of that. *Julian Bashir's neurodivergent nature and the social #struggles he faced as a neurodivergent individual on Deep Space Nine despite his genius-level intellect. *Data's communication with Dr. Bruce Maddox and how the entire episode serves as a look into the #mind and #life of a Neurodivergent individual. *Who Data is as a Neurodivergent individual and how he worked very hard to master 'the human element' despite it. *The fact that both Spock and Data are both divergents who come from diverse backgrounds and even though they have things from their backgrounds they can use to help further progress, they also both lack things that classify them as 'typical' individuals. *How the #Texas Governor wanting to label #treatments for #transgender kids as “child abuse" is typical society striving to make #uniqueness/individuality appear dangerous enough to be ostracized and outlawed. *How we as a society should focus on #inclusion and not on #indifference. *What a 'social #pace' is, how people use it, and how people could use it better. *The ongoing #crisis between #Russia and #Ukraine and how we in freer spaces are #privileged enough to be able to use our #voices to speak on how we feel and what we see about things, so we should speak. *What being #Human really is about. @startrek @startrekonpplus @glass.stars.project @deep.space.garak @deepspacepride #diversityandinclusion #diversity #Neurodiversity #education #lovewithoutboundaries #alien #neuroscience https://www.instagram.com/p/CabrAW2r7P_/?utm_medium=tumblr

[ao3feed-thehobbit]

Literary One-shots

read it on the AO3 at http://ift.tt/2ldLaGP

by TombRomance

These are a series of One-shots I'll be making when writers block occurs. It has many fandoms and many subjects, Please Enjoy.

Words: 1756, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Fandoms: Game of Thrones (TV), Gotham (TV), Sherlock (TV), Justified, Star Trek: Enterprise, Star Trek: The Original Series, Star Trek: The Next Generation, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Star Trek: Voyager, Being Human (UK), The Unit (US TV), Supernatural, Reign (TV), Angel: the Series, The Walking Dead (TV), Fear the Walking Dead (TV), Into the Badlands (TV), American Horror Story: Murder House, American Horror Story: Asylum, American Horror Story: Coven, American Horror Story: Freak Show, American Horror Story: Hotel, American Horror Story: Roanoke, American Horror Story: Cult, Chicago Fire, Chicago Med, Firefly, Z-Nation, Helix, The Flash (TV 2014), DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV), Arrow (TV 2012), iZombie (TV), Grantchester (TV), Bates Motel (2013), Containment (TV), Lethal Weapon (TV), Outlander (TV), Terra Nova (TV), Spartacus: Vengeance, Spartacus: War of the Damned, Spartacus: Blood and Sand, Spartacus: Gods of the Arena, Law and Order: SVU, Preacher (TV), The Orville (TV), The Gifted (TV 2017), Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Batman - All Media Types, Doctor Strange (2016), Deadpool - All Media Types, The Maze Runner Series - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types, Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies), Jurassic World (2015), Prometheus - Fandom, The Chronicles of Riddick Series, Kingsmen - Fandom, 300 (2006) RPF, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Resident Evil - All Media Types, Agora (2009), Transformers - All Media Types, Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children (2016), X-Men - All Media Types, The Vampire Diaries (TV), The L Word, Divergent Series - Fandom

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: F/F, F/M, Multi

Relationships: Jon Snow/Original Character, Robb Stark/Original Character, Jamie Lannister/Original Character, Daenerys Targaryen/Original Character, Melisandre/Original Character, Margaeru Turell/Original Character, Ramsay Bolton/Original Character, Oberyn Martell/Original Character, Jojen Reed/Original Character, Podrick Payne/Original Character, Jim Gordon/Original Character, Edward Nygma/Original Character, Victor Zsasz/Original Character, Jerome Valeska/Original Character, Barbra Keen/Original Character, Tabitha Galavan/Original Character, Bruce Wayne/Original Character, Alfred Pennyworth/Original Character, Sherlock Holms/Original Character, John Watson/Original Character, Raylan Givens/Original Character, Boyd Crowder/Original Character, Tim Gutterson/original character, Charles “Trip” Tucker III/Original Character, Travis Mayweather/Original character, Hoshi Sado/Original character, Ensign Tanner/Original Character, Dr. Phlox/Original Character, James T Kirk/Original Character, Leonard McCoy/Original Character, Spock/Original Character, Pavel Chekov/Original Character, Data/Original Character, Wesley Crusher/Original Character, William Riker/Original Character, Tasha Yar/Original Character, Deanna Troi/Original Character, Jadzia Dax/Original Character, Julian Bashir/Original Character, Gul Dukat/Original Character, Weyoun/Original Character, Seven of Nine/Original Character, Harry Kim/Original Character, Icheb/Original Character, Annie Sawyer/Original Character, John Mitchell/Original Character, Jonas Blane/Original Character, Bob Brown/Original character, Hector Williams/Original Character, Dean Winchester/Original Character. Castiel/Original Character, Queen Mary Stuart/Original character, Greer Noorwood/Original character, Sebastian “Bash” de Poitiers/Original Character, Angel/Original Character, Spike/Original Character, Cordelia/Original character, Shane Walsh/Original Character, Daryl Dixon/Original Character, Rosita Espinosa/Original character, Negan/original character, Paul “Jesus” Monroe/Original Character, Nick Clark/Original Character, Alicia Clark/Original Character, Chris Manawa/Original Character, Jake Otto/Original Character, Troy Otto/Original Character, Sunny/Original Character, Tilda/Original character, The Widow/Original Character, Quinn/Original Character, Waldo/Original Character, Tate Langdon/Original Character, Dr. Oliver Thredson/Original Character, Kit Walker/Original Character, Mary Eunice McKee/Original Character, Kyle Spencer/Original Character, Misty Day/Original Character, Jimmy Darling/Original Character, Dandy Mott/original character, Mr. March/Original Character, Donovan/Original Character, Rory Monahan/Original Character, Edward Mott/Original Character, Kelly Severide/Original Character, Gabriel Dawson/Original Character, Brian “Otis” Zvonecek/Original Character, Peter Mills/Original character, Antonio Dawson/Original Character, Jimmy Borelli/Original Character, Dr. Connor Rhodes/Original Character, Dr.Ethan Choi/Original Character, Dr. William Halstead/Original Character, Sarah Reese/Original Character, Maggie Lockwood/Original Character, Jeff Clarke/Original Character, Malcom Reynolds/Original Character, Kaylee Frye/Original Character, Inara Serra/Original Character, Jayne Cobb/Original Character, Simon Tam/Original character, Zoe/Original Character, 10k/Original Character, Sergio Balleseros/Original Character, Dr. Sarah Jordan/Original Character, Dr. Hiroshi Hataka/Original Character, Dr. Kyle Sommer/Original Character, Scythe/Original Character, Dr. Kato/Original character, Barry “Flash” Allen/Original Character, Leonard “Captain Cold” Snart/Original Character, Harrison “Reverse Flash” Wells/Original Character, Harry Wells/Original Character, Mick “Heatwave” Rory/Original Character, Rip Hunter/Original Character, Felicity Smoak/Original Character, Oliver “Arrow” Queen/Original Character, Roy “Arsenal” Harper/Original Character, John Diggle/Original Character, Tommy Merlyn/Original Character, Slade “Death Stroke” Wilson/Original Character, Malcom Merlyn/Original Character, Thea “Speedy” Queen/Original Character, Ravi Chakrabarti/Original Character, Clive Babineaux/Original character, Sydney Chambers/Original Character, Norman Bates/Original Series, Dylan Massett/Original Character, Alex Romero/Original Character, Ethan Chang/Original Character, Zack Shellby/Original Character, Jake Riley/Original Character, Victor Cannerts/Original Character, Martin Riggs/Original Character, Jamie Fraser/Original Character, Mark Reynold/Original Character, Crixus/Original Character, Nick Amaro/Original Character, Rafael Barba/Original Character, Dominick "Sonny" Carisi/Original Character, Jesse Custer/Original Character, Proinsias Cassidy/Original Character, Eugene Root/Original Character, John “Thunderbird” Proudstar/Original Character, Clarice “Blink” Fong/Original Character, Marcos “Eclipse” Diez/Original Character, Capt. Ed Mercer/Original Character, Lt. Alara Kitan/Original Character, Lt. John Lamar/Original Character, Newt Scamander/Original Character, Thranduil/Original Character, Bard/Original Character, Fíli/Original Character, Kíli/Original Character, Legolas/Original Character, Boromir/Original Character, Tony “Iron Man” Stark/Original Character, Steven “Captain America” Rodgers/Original Character, Thor/Original Characters, Clinton “Hawkeye” Barton/Original Character, Natasha “Black Widow” Romanoff/Original Character, Pietro “Quicksilver” Maximoff/Original Character, Wanda “Scarlet Witch” Maximoff/Original Character, Loki/Original Character, Vision/Original Character, Black Panther/Original Character, Bruce “Batman” Wayne/Original character, Clark “Superman” Kent/Original Character, Diana “Wonder Woman” Prince/Original Character, Richard “Dick” Grayson/Original Character, Tim Drake/Original Character, Jason Todd/Original Character, Damian Wayne/Original Character, Joker/Original Character, Dr. Stephen Strange/Original Character, Mordo/Original Character, Wade “Deadpool” Wilson/Original Character, Newt/Original Character, Minho/Original Character, Thomas/Original Character, Obi-Wan Kenobi/Original Character, Darth Maul/Original Character, Kylo Ren/Original Character, phasma/original character, Armitage Hux/Original Character, Poe Dameron/Original Character, Peter Quill/Original Character, Owen Grady/Original Character, David 8/Original Character, Richard B. Riddick/Original Character, Johns/Original character, Vaako/Original Character, Gary “Eggsy” Unwin/Original Character, Asstinos/Original Character, Gorgo/Original Character, Leonidas/Original Character, Draco Malfoy/Original Character, Charlie Weasely/Original Character, Oliver Wood/Original Character, Albert Wesker/Original Character, Chris Redfield/Original Character, Leon S. Kennedy/Original Character, Hypatia/Original character, Orestes/Original Character, Davus/Original Character, Bumblebee/Original Character, Optimus Prime/Original Character, Hound/Original Character, Enoch O’Connor/Original Character, Alma Peregrine/Original Character, Charles “Professor X” Xavier/Original Character, Ororo “Storm” Iqadi/Original Character, Piotr “Colossi” Nikolaievitch Rasputin/Original character, Remy “Gambit” LeBeau/Original character, James “Warpath” Proudstar/Original Character, Regan “Lady Mastermind” Wyngarde, Neena “Domino” Therman/Original character, Erik Lehnsherr/Original Character, Tobias "Four" Eaton/Original Character, Eric/Original Character, Kai Parker/Original Character

read it on the AO3 at http://ift.tt/2ldLaGP