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mostlysignssomeportents · 5 months

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Antitrust is a labor issue

I'm touring my new, nationally bestselling novel The Bezzle! Catch me SATURDAY (Apr 27) in MARIN COUNTY, then Winnipeg (May 2), Calgary (May 3), Vancouver (May 4), and beyond!

This is huge: yesterday, the FTC finalized a rule banning noncompete agreements for every American worker. That means that the person working the register at a Wendy's can switch to the fry-trap at McD's for an extra $0.25/hour, without their boss suing them:

https://www.ftc.gov/news-events/news/press-releases/2024/04/ftc-announces-rule-banning-noncompetes

The median worker laboring under a noncompete is a fast-food worker making close to minimum wage. You know who doesn't have to worry about noncompetes? High tech workers in Silicon Valley, because California already banned noncompetes, as did Colorado, Illinois, Maine, Maryland, New Hampshire, North Dakota, Oklahoma, Oregon, Rhode Island, Virginia and Washington.

The fact that the country's largest economies, encompassing the most "knowledge-intensive" industries, could operate without shitty bosses being able to shackle their best workers to their stupid workplaces for years after those workers told them to shove it shows you what a goddamned lie noncompetes are based on. The idea that companies can't raise capital or thrive if their know-how can walk out the door, secreted away in the skulls of their ungrateful workers, is bullshit:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/02/02/its-the-economy-stupid/#neofeudal

Remember when OpenAI's board briefly fired founder Sam Altman and Microsoft offered to hire him and 700 of his techies? If "noncompetes block investments" was true, you'd think they'd have a hard time raising money, but no, they're still pulling in billions in investor capital (primarily from Microsoft itself!). This is likewise true of Anthropic, the company's major rival, which was founded by (wait for it), two former OpenAI employees.

Indeed, Silicon Valley couldn't have come into existence without California's ban on noncompetes – the first silicon company, Shockley Semiconductors, was founded by a malignant, delusional eugenicist who also couldn't manage a lemonade stand. His eight most senior employees (the "Traitorous Eight") quit his shitty company to found Fairchild Semiconductor, a rather successful chip shop – but not nearly so successful as the company that two of Fairchild's top employees founded after they quit: Intel:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/10/24/the-traitorous-eight-and-the-battle-of-germanium-valley/

Likewise a lie: the tale that noncompetes raise wages. This theory – beloved of people whose skulls are so filled with Efficient Market Hypothesis Brain-Worms that they've got worms dangling out of their nostrils and eye-sockets – holds that the right to sign a noncompete is an asset that workers can trade to their employers in exchange for better pay. This is absolutely true, provided you ignore reality.

Remember: the median noncompete-bound worker is a fast food employee making near minimum wage. The major application of noncompetes is preventing that worker from getting a raise from a rival fast-food franchisee. Those workers are losing wages due to noncompetes. Meanwhile, the highest paid workers in the country are all clustered in a a couple of cities in northern California, pulling down sky-high salaries in a state where noncompetes have been illegal since the gold rush.

If a capitalist wants to retain their workers, they can compete. Offer your workers get better treatment and better wages. That's how capitalism's alchemy is supposed to work: competition transmogrifies the base metal of a capitalist's greed into the noble gold of public benefit by making success contingent on offering better products to your customers than your rivals – and better jobs to your workers than those rivals are willing to pay. However, capitalists hate capitalism:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/04/18/in-extremis-veritas/#the-winnah

Capitalists hate capitalism so much that they're suing the FTC, in MAGA's beloved Fifth Circuit, before a Trump-appointed judge. The case was brought by Trump's financial advisors, Ryan LLC, who are using it to drum up business from corporations that hate Biden's new taxes on the wealthy and stepped up IRS enforcement on rich tax-cheats.

Will they win? It's hard to say. Despite what you may have heard, the case against the FTC order is very weak, as Matt Stoller explains here:

https://www.thebignewsletter.com/p/ftc-enrages-corporate-america-by

The FTC's statutory authority to block noncompetes comes from Section 5 of the FTC Act, which bans "unfair methods of competition" (hard to imagine a less fair method than indenturing your workers). Section 6(g) of the Act lets the FTC make rules to enforce Section 5's ban on unfairness. Both are good law – 6(g) has been used many times (26 times in the five years from 1968-73 alone!).

The DC Circuit court upheld the FTC's right to "promulgate rules defining the meaning of the statutory standards of the illegality the Commission is empowered to prevent" in 1973, and in 1974, Congress changed the FTC Act, but left this rulemaking power intact.

The lawyer suing the FTC – Anton Scalia's larvum, a pismire named Eugene Scalia – has some wild theories as to why none of this matters. He says that because the law hasn't been enforced since the ancient days of the (checks notes) 1970s, it no longer applies. He says that the mountain of precedent supporting the FTC's authority "hasn't aged well." He says that other antitrust statutes don't work the same as the FTC Act. Finally, he says that this rule is a big economic move and that it should be up to Congress to make it.

Stoller makes short work of these arguments. The thing that tells you whether a law is good is its text and precedent, "not whether a lawyer thinks a precedent is old and bad." Likewise, the fact that other antitrust laws is irrelevant "because, well, they are other antitrust laws, not this antitrust law." And as to whether this is Congress's job because it's economically significant, "so what?" Congress gave the FTC this power.

Now, none of this matters if the Supreme Court strikes down the rule, and what's more, if they do, they might also neuter the FTC's rulemaking power in the bargain. But again: so what? How is it better for the FTC to do nothing, and preserve a power that it never uses, than it is for the Commission to free the 35-40 million American workers whose bosses get to use the US court system to force them to do a job they hate?

The FTC's rule doesn't just ban noncompetes – it also bans TRAPs ("training repayment agreement provisions"), which require employees to pay their bosses thousands of dollars if they quit, get laid off, or are fired:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/08/04/its-a-trap/#a-little-on-the-nose

The FTC's job is to protect Americans from businesses that cheat. This is them, doing their job. If the Supreme Court strikes this down, it further delegitimizes the court, and spells out exactly who the GOP works for.

This is part of the long history of antitrust and labor. From its earliest days, antitrust law was "aimed at dollars, not men" – in other words, antitrust law was always designed to smash corporate power in order to protect workers. But over and over again, the courts refused to believe that Congress truly wanted American workers to get legal protection from the wealthy predators who had fastened their mouth-parts on those workers' throats. So over and over – and over and over – Congress passed new antitrust laws that clarified the purpose of antitrust, using words so small that even federal judges could understand them:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/04/14/aiming-at-dollars/#not-men

After decades of comatose inaction, Biden's FTC has restored its role as a protector of labor, explicitly tackling competition through a worker protection lens. This week, the Commission blocked the merger of Capri Holdings and Tapestry Inc, a pair of giant conglomerates that have, between them, bought up nearly every "affordable luxury" brand (Versace, Jimmy Choo, Michael Kors, Kate Spade, Coach, Stuart Weitzman, etc).

You may not care about "affordable luxury" handbags, but you should care about the basis on which the FTC blocked this merger. As David Dayen explains for The American Prospect: 33,000 workers employed by these two companies would lose the wage-competition that drives them to pay skilled sales-clerks more to cross the mall floor and switch stores:

https://prospect.org/economy/2024-04-24-challenge-fashion-merger-new-antitrust-philosophy/

In other words, the FTC is blocking a $8.5b merger that would turn an oligopoly into a monopoly explicitly to protect workers from the power of bosses to suppress their wages. What's more, the vote was unanimous, include the Commission's freshly appointed (and frankly, pretty terrible) Republican commissioners:

https://www.ftc.gov/news-events/news/press-releases/2024/04/ftc-moves-block-tapestrys-acquisition-capri

A lot of people are (understandably) worried that if Biden doesn't survive the coming election that the raft of excellent rules enacted by his agencies will die along with his presidency. Here we have evidence that the Biden administration's anti-corporate agenda has become institutionalized, acquiring a bipartisan durability.

And while there hasn't been a lot of press about that anti-corporate agenda, it's pretty goddamned huge. Back in 2021, Tim Wu (then working in the White wrote an executive order on competition that identified 72 actions the agencies could take to blunt the power of corporations to harm everyday Americans:

https://www.eff.org/deeplinks/2021/08/party-its-1979-og-antitrust-back-baby

Biden's agency heads took that plan and ran with it, demonstrating the revolutionary power of technical administrative competence and proving that being good at your job is praxis:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/10/18/administrative-competence/#i-know-stuff

In just the past week, there's been a storm of astoundingly good new rules finalized by the agencies:

A minimum staffing ratio for nursing homes;

The founding of the American Climate Corps;

A guarantee of overtime benefits;

A ban on financial advisors cheating retirement savers;

Medical privacy rules that protect out-of-state abortions;

A ban on junk fees in mortgage servicing;

Conservation for 13m Arctic acres in Alaska;

Classifying "forever chemicals" as hazardous substances;

A requirement for federal agencies to buy sustainable products;

Closing the gun-show loophole.

That's just a partial list, and it's only Thursday.

Why the rush? As Gerard Edic writes for The American Prospect, finalizing these rules now protects them from the Congressional Review Act, a gimmick created by Newt Gingrich in 1996 that lets the next Senate wipe out administrative rules created in the months before a federal election:

https://prospect.org/politics/2024-04-23-biden-administration-regulations-congressional-review-act/

In other words, this is more dazzling administrative competence from the technically brilliant agencies that have labored quietly and effectively since 2020. Even laggards like Pete Buttigieg have gotten in on the act, despite a very poor showing in the early years of the Biden administration:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/02/11/dinah-wont-you-blow/#ecp

Despite those unpromising beginnings, the DOT has gotten onboard the trains it regulates, and passed a great rule that forces airlines to refund your money if they charge you for services they don't deliver:

https://www.whitehouse.gov/briefing-room/statements-releases/2024/04/24/fact-sheet-biden-harris-administration-announces-rules-to-deliver-automatic-refunds-and-protect-consumers-from-surprise-junk-fees-in-air-travel/

The rule also bans junk fees and forces airlines to compensate you for late flights, finally giving American travelers the same rights their European cousins have enjoyed for two decades.

It's the latest in a string of muscular actions taken by the DOT, a period that coincides with the transfer of Jen Howard from her role as chief of staff to FTC chair Lina Khan to a new gig as the DOT's chief of competition enforcement:

https://prospect.org/infrastructure/transportation/2024-04-25-transportation-departments-new-path/

Under Howard's stewardship, the DOT blocked the merger of Spirit and Jetblue, and presided over the lowest flight cancellation rate in more than decade:

https://www.transportation.gov/briefing-room/2023-numbers-more-flights-fewer-cancellations-more-consumer-protections

All that, along with a suite of protections for fliers, mark a huge turning point in the US aviation industry's long and worsening abusive relationship with the American public. There's more in the offing, too including a ban on charging families extra for adjacent seats, rules to make flying with wheelchairs easier, and a ban on airlines selling passenger's private information to data brokers.

There's plenty going on in the world – and in the Biden administration – that you have every right to be furious and/or depressed about. But these expert agencies, staffed by experts, have brought on a tsunami of rules that will make every working American better off in a myriad of ways. Those material improvements in our lives will, in turn, free us up to fight the bigger, existential fights for a livable planet, free from genocide.

It may not be a good time to be alive, but it's a much better time than it was just last week.

And it's only Thursday.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/04/25/capri-v-tapestry/#aiming-at-dollars-not-men

#pluralistic #labor #antitrust #trustbusting #noncompetes #indenture #ftc #matt stoller #david dayen #tapestry #luxury fashion #capri

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rboooks · 1 year

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The Adoptive Son. Part 2

Dick tries his best to keep his smile as Danny Crowne fumbles with his laptop, attempting to show Dick all the fantastic features he programmed onto it.

Don't be wrong; he enjoys new software, and the stuff Crowne made was awe-inspiring. He just wished it wasn't being used for one of his most disgusting crimes.

Babs, who was recently super into coding, had been all but foaming at the mouth when she got access to the new writing application Crowne Industries put out.

Yes, she got access a bit earlier than most since she hacked into the system attempting to find evidence of criminal activity, but she had tested it out and wanted it for herself.

"This writing program has an automatic save option after a certain amount of time goes by." Crowne blushes a little, looking bashful when Dick sends him a winning smile. "I-ugh, I forget how often computers crash, taking with them hours of work, so hopefully, this will help tired college students. It even has a way to retrieve lost files, just in case something does get deleted."

"Wow, you made all this by yourself? That's so impressive." Dick purrs, allowing his hand to land on Crowne's knee. The other man jumps slightly, looking down at the hand like he's never seen one before. At least this mission was easy.

Crowne's had plenty of people flirt with him over the years of his adoption. Dick had watched him at galas, sidestepping any courtship attempts like a well-practiced waltz. He charmed so many would-be suitors simply by his prince-like mannerism, silver tongue, dripping good looks, and of course, very large wallet.

He had thought it meant that Crowne was experienced in this sort of thing. Imagine his surprise at the beginning of the mission; Crowne fumbled through his flirtations and seemed so awkward it was almost endearing.

Danny Crowne didn't make much sense to Dick in this way.

He quickly became one of Gotham's most eligible bachelors and one of the first openly bisexual ones. Despite his adoptive parents less than ideal views on the gay community, Crowne never hid that part of himself. Once he had taken over the company, he had even gotten charities set up to support the gay youths of Gothams. He practically funded the Pride Celebrations, even more than Bruce, which showed how he became the new head of Crowne Industries

In four short years, he had snatched the company from the jaws of bankruptcy and dragged it to the top again. Everything they made was so revolutionary, even Bruce had been tempted to ask Crowne to join him for the first two years.

Back then, Dick had thought Crowne was weird.

All the guy did was talk about tech, and when he wasn't, he was staring into space or attempting to get into different equipment so he could take it apart and figure it out.

Crowne had been invited to his birthday party a few months after his adoption. Dick had seen him arrive, but he vanished from the room not long after- at the time, he didn't blame the other. The rest of their classmates were snobbish and a pain to be around- he later found Crowne pulling out one of his light sockets to check the wiring in Bruce's house.

It may have been the cheap light he was using, but Dick swore he had seen the guy's eyes glowing while he muttered to himself in an unknown language.

The Crownes had been mortified, forcing Crowne to apologize profoundly for ripping Bruce's things. Bruce had to play his part of Brucie, so he had laughed it off, asking the boy why he had done it in the first place.

" I meant no offense. I apologize for allowing my curiosity to cross a line. I was only interested in how advanced your home is. I figured the Wayne's would indicate where the world's leading systems would be." Fourteen-year-old Danny Crowne had told Bruce with a sweet smile that was far too wide and eyes that were far too bright.

It creeped fourteen-year-old Dick out so much he actively avoided the adoptive son of the Crowne for the last four years.

Now he wishes he had paid a little more attention. Maybe then he would have caught on to Crowne selling street kids on the black market.

"It's nothing, really." Crowne laughs nervously, flushing read as Dick gently rubs his knee. He smirks inwardly as the other man fumbles. "I couldn't have done it without Tim so-"

"Tim?" That's a new name. Dick quickly pressed the recording device that Bruce had installed into his bracelet. He hated that he was working with his ex-mentor again, but this was too big of an issue to allow his hurt feelings to get in the way. There were so many kids at stake.

"Tim Drake. His parents are out of the country a lot, so I started babysitting him when he was eight. He's thirteen now, but I got temporary guardianship of him when I turned eighteen. He's my pride and joy. " Crowne clarifies with a growing smile. Dick wanted to punch his teeth in for acting so loving, so caring, so fucking kind when it came to children.

He swallows the urge with incredible difficulty. "He sounds great."

He did know Timothy Drake, actually. The boy was his neighbor for years but didn't stand out much. He always looked like a little doll at the galas, vanishing from sight once his parents' backs were turned.

Dick often thought the boy was out of the country with his parents, primarily when they enrolled him in homeschool when he turned eight.

To think the Drakes were working on making a good relationship with Crowne since he first showed up, and no one within the Bats noticed. It was a little troubling.

Were the Drakes involved with the trafficking ring? Were the world trips just a means to smother out poor victims? Were they using their son, or was Tim Drake part of the scheme?

More questions and not enough answers.

"Y-you could meet him if you want," Crowne coughs, playing with a specialized keyboard- it was so flat. Dick had never seen a slimmer design- his face was a lovely red hue. "I have him for this month, so he's back at my apartment with his babysitter."

Perfect an opening.

"Mr. Crowne, are you inviting me back to yours?" Dick asks, allowing his voice to turn husky with sinful promise.

Crowne face turns even redder. "I didn't mean to assume, but...ugh, are you hitting on me?"

Dick almost laughs.

"I am." He says even as he thinks If only you weren't a scum bag. You are not ever going to get this lucky, you disgusting pig.

"Thank the Ancients. I was worried I may have interpreted your intentions. I would be honored if you accompanied me home-but, not for sex! I mean, I wouldn't be opposed to sex at a later date-just dinner? I can cook." Crowne closes his eyes as if pained, and Dick wishes he was the person he was pretending to be.

Oh well.

They all have their own masks.

Dick just happens to be someone who was bestowed with a criminal. He slips it on as quickly as his NightWing one, throwing an arm over Crowne and placing a tracker on his neck. The bastard didn't even notice. Good.

"I would love that Crowne."

"Danny." The man says with a warm relieved smile. "You can call me Danny."

"Then you can call me Dick"

Dick will have this man rotting away in a jail cell soon. He swears it.

(Part 1) (part 3)

#dc x dp crossover #The adoptive son #Part 2 #Danny Saw the way Tim was being treated and went You Mine Now #Dick thinks Danny is evil at this point #Danny may not want to leave anymore #Flirting #misunderstandings #Anyone confused this was just after Jason was taken in #Dick and Danny are 18 #Jason is 15 #Tim is 13 #Sorry if the ages are off the comics

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omegapheromone · 1 year

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HONESTLY this deserves its own post too because to this day I've never seen anyone in the miscecanis/misceanimalis community addressing this:

DO NOT overuse scented products and fragrances. You are blind to your own scent and have no clue just how strong your scent is. Your scent has the potential to give people migraines and asthma attacks among other things if it's even slightly too strong, and if you keep applying a scent every time you THINK there is none left, you WILL have the same energy as a sweaty teen boy who just used a whole can of axe spray deodorant to replace a shower.

One more time: YOU ARE BLIND TO YOUR OWN SCENT. You stop smelling it some time after applying it, but I promise you it's absolutely there and EVERYONE ELSE can smell it.

This has been a psa from a very migraine-prone omega, who hopes all of you realize that one or two applications per day are enough! Your scent should be noticeable when people are next to you, but it shouldn't feel like someone punching daggers into your eye sockets to others- which it absolutely will if it's too strong.

#misceanimalis #miscecanis #omegaverse #a/b/o #a/b/o dynamics #miscecanis psa

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gallifreyinstituteforlearning · 3 months

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Anatomy of a Dalek

A Dalek is primarily made from Dalekanium and polycarbide and is technically a cyborg. To understand how a Dalek is created, see How Do Daleks Become Daleks?

Some Daleks will have variations on the below, but these aspects of a Dalek's anatomy are broadly applicable to most.

The Dome (aka dome section, head section, head dome) is attached to the neck via a docking clamp.

Eyestalk (aka eyepiece, eye antenna, tele-eye, eye-stick, optical stalk, sensory antenna, eyeball unit). The eyestalk is attached to the dome via a lens attachment, sitting on a pivot in a cowl. The eye itself is known as an eyelens. The eyestalk is covered in multiple insulator discs to protect it from radiation.

Luminosity dischargers (aka headlamp, radiation valve, dome light, vocaliser light, sound disc). It's not quite known how or why the luminosity dischargers sync up with Dalek speech, but they could be energy compensators, translation units, safety valves to release excess energy, or just lights to indicate when a Dalek's speaking.

Neck (aka grating section, upper grating section). Attached to the weapons platform via another docking clamp, or 'catch'.

Neck rings support the neck grille.

Neck grille (aka audio receptor grill, sensor grille, sensor mesh, sensor grid louvres) cover the mutant Dalek within.

Weapons Platform (aka shoulder platform, shoulder section).

Slats (aka solar power collection slats, solar slats, solar cells, shoulder slats, armour slats, sensor plates) are effectively solar panels that absorb energy to power the Dalek.

Gunstick (aka radiation gun, gun-rod, ray-gun, exterminator, blast-gun, energy gun, Dalek neutraliser, neutraliser, beam distributor, Dalek beam gun, Dalek gun, ruby ray blaster). Sits on a balljoint, controlled by armament circuits. Can be set to non-lethal, causing temporary paralysis, but maximum settings can split atoms apart. Some Daleks deliberately reduce the power of their gunstick so that the beam burns away the central nervous system outside inwards, so victims die within 2-3 seconds in complete agony.

Manipulator arm (aka tactile arm, arm-stick). Usually sits on a balljoint. Attachments can be swapped out for various tools depending on the needs of the Dalek. Some attachments include the plunger, flamethrower, seismic detector, electrode unit, sieve, syringe, blow torch, cutting tool, another gunstick, or a claw, or basically anything they need.

Base Unit (aka travel unit). Contains the motive unit, the elevation unit, and thrusters.

Sense spheres (aka sensor globes, sensor arrays, bumps) can do pretty much whatever you want them to, including detecting emissions, monitoring the surrounding environment, and acting as self-destruct mechanisms. They can also function as sockets for cables and wires, and some say the sensor globes are capable of free flight, allowing them to provide remote battlefield intelligence.

Bumper (aka fender). Possibly containing proximal alert systems to detect other Daleks, but more likely just softening collisions.

Gallifreyan Dalek Biology for Tuesday by GIL

More content ... →📫Got a question? | 📚Complete list of Q+A and factoids →😆Jokes |🩻Biology |🗨️Language |🕰️Throwbacks |🤓Facts →🫀Gallifreyan Anatomy and Physiology Guide (pending) →⚕️Gallifreyan Emergency Medicine Guides →📝Source list (WIP) →📜Masterpost If you're finding your happy place in this part of the internet, feel free to buy a coffee to help keep our exhausted human conscious. She works full-time in medicine and is so very tired 😴

#dr who #gallifrey #GIL #gallifrey institute for learning #whoniverse #dw eu #gallifreyans #GIL biology #doctor who #TOTW: Dalek Rights Week #daleks

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coffee-writesthings · 10 months

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I fucking love the tf2 comics because you get shenanigans such as:

Amelia Earhart died in a hot dog costume

The Mayor of tuefort doesn't actually know what a mayor can and can't do

The mayor of tuefort forced a man to pretend to be an italian stereotype for literally years

Saxton Hale blows up the moon

Spy might have helped a child murder the santa guy from that one smissmass comic, or it was spy disguised, it's not totally clear to be perfectly honest

merasmus takes 'kill me come back stronger' pills, which soldier also takes because he thinks its heart medication

merasmus is gender fluid, depending on how you read it

merasmus in indebted to like all the mafias

australians canonically all grow australia-shaped chest hair, and are the way they are because of a golden material called australium

spy has miniature cornish hens in his teeth, as well as the rest of the makings of one of those tiny, several-course, meals

soldier just loves fighting things naked, while covered in honey. canonically-speaking, he does this all the damn time

zhanna is racist against french people

demoman is married to his liver

demoman's eye socket is haunted

soldier has little raccoon children, lieutenant bites i think was one of their names

the pregnancy machine thing

also, the baboon uterus thing

heavy's sisters are into spy and sniper, which i can't say i disagree with. good lord.

BUT THERE'S ALSO THINGS LIKE THIS:

Scout and Sniper go out to get tacos after a bad interaction with an enemy spy

saxton is so deeply divorced with maggie

miss pauling is a lesbian, if a leak of the final issue's script on 4chan is to be believed

RED demo and BLU soldier become friends outside of work but the administrator finds out so they have to kill each other and ;-;

Heavy has a family and he risks his life to feed them and he loves them so much just GAH

these people have been fighting for generations over something that's literally worthless and i think if you think more about it there's an actually really applicable theme about that to real life

the mayor of tuefort forced this just random guy to pretend to be an italian stereotype for so long that he forgot how he used to speak. he forgot who he used to be almost entirely. do you understand. in another world there is a psychological horror about this guy's life exclusively

maggie works for her ex-husband's nemesis and it's honestly not explained why but she's also clearly ashamed or sad about it

spy being scout's dad and it's a whole thing and THOSE FOUR EMOTIONALLY DEVASTATING PANELS

sniper's bio parents are cowards and fools and don't much like him and there's a whole realization that he wasn't actually australian and it puts together a lot of puzzle pieces for him,

and then later he meets his parents-- the ones he grew up with-- in heaven after dying and being brought back to life and he gets told that hes a professional and its this payoff from the meet the sniper video

"you're getting very good at saying horrible things to dying men, miss pauling"

spy is nearly murdered by classic!sniper and he looks genuinely scared

heavy and medic are in love. do you understand.

#i will so absolutely expand on any of these #ive gotten to special interest levels about this #listen man im so normal about this game #tf2 #tf2 comics

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surgerypatient · 2 months

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Alan Strid/@gas-writer "The Medical test" continued with AI

He neglected continuing the story for a reason but said nothing of anyone else doing such a thing, so here's mine:

Antiseptic Sterilization

The antiseptic sterilization room is starkly clean, a sterile contrast to the unremarkable building where this began. The nurses, faces obscured by surgical masks and protective face shields, move with mechanical precision. They start by handling your unconscious body with latex-gloved hands, applying a transparent ointment around each orifice. This ointment serves as a barrier, preventing any microbial invasion. Using small applicator sticks dipped in medical glue, they seal the ointment in place. The process is meticulous and thorough, starting with your eyes, then moving to your mouth around the endotracheal tube, your ears, nostrils, and finally, other orifices. The sensation of the ointment is cold and slightly numbing, and the glue quickly hardens, forming an airtight seal to ensure no contamination.

Next, they place you into a tight, velvet-feeling fishnet sack. The fabric clings to your skin, and you feel the rough texture against your flesh. A network of solution nozzles surrounds you, and with a sudden synchronized hiss, they begin dousing your body with a cleansing solution. The liquid is cold and stings slightly as it contacts your skin, stripping away all exposed hair, bacteria, and dead skin. The nozzles operate in stages, each one administering a different type of spray. Some emit a fine mist that coats every inch of your body, while others deliver a jet stream that forcefully washes away debris. A few nozzles provide a gentle, pulsating wash, ensuring that every part of your body is thoroughly cleansed and sterilized. The process is repeated several times to ensure complete sterilization, and the solution is allowed to sit for a few moments to maximize its effectiveness before being rinsed away.

Securing Vitals Monitoring

Before proceeding with the surgeries, the medical team secures various monitoring devices to your body to keep track of your vital signs throughout the procedures. Electrodes for heart rate and electrocardiogram (ECG) monitoring are placed on your chest, secured with a layer of medical glue to ensure they remain in place despite any movements. A bispectral index (BIS) monitor, which tracks your level of consciousness through EEG data, is attached to your forehead with the same adhesive. Additionally, a pulse oximeter is clipped to your finger to measure blood oxygen content, and its sensor is reinforced with glue to prevent dislodgment.

32-Tooth Extraction

Once back in the OR, the sealing substances are carefully removed, leaving your skin clean and smooth. You are positioned on the dental operating table, and the tooth extraction begins.

The surgical team starts by donning fresh gloves, masks, and gowns. They position you on the dental operating table and use surgical drapes to cover your body, leaving only your mouth exposed. The nurse inserts a mouth prop to keep your mouth open wide, ensuring it remains open during the procedure. The surgeon selects a straight elevator and begins to loosen each tooth methodically. The elevator is inserted between the tooth and the surrounding gum, and a gentle twist loosens the tooth from its socket. This process is repeated for each tooth, feeling for the slight give that indicates the ligaments have been disrupted.

Once the teeth are sufficiently loosened, the surgeon switches to dental forceps. The forceps grip the crown of each tooth firmly, and with a twisting and pulling motion, the teeth are extracted one by one. The sound of the roots breaking free from the jawbone is a mix of crunching and popping, which can be unsettling. The suction device is used continuously, gurgling as it removes saliva and blood from your mouth, ensuring a clear field for the surgeon.

After all 32 teeth are removed, the surgeon inspects the empty sockets for any remaining fragments or debris. She then uses a bone file to smooth any rough edges on the jawbone, ensuring there are no sharp points that could cause discomfort later. Finally, dissolvable sutures are placed in each socket to close the wounds and promote healing. The surgeon ensures that the sutures are evenly spaced and securely tied to prevent any post-operative complications.

Tonsillectomy and Adenoidectomy

Next is the tonsillectomy and adenoidectomy. The team repositions you and adjusts the drapes to expose your mouth and throat.

The procedure begins with the insertion of a mouth gag to keep your mouth open wide. The gag is adjusted to ensure your mouth remains open without causing undue pressure on your teeth or jaws. The surgeon uses a scalpel to make small, precise incisions around the tonsils. Each cut is deliberate, designed to minimize bleeding and provide a clear path for removal. The tonsils are then partially severed from their attachments, and the surgeon switches to an electrocautery device.

The electrocautery device emits a low humming sound as it activates. This tool uses electrical current to cut through the remaining tissue and simultaneously cauterize blood vessels, reducing the risk of excessive bleeding. The surgeon carefully maneuvers the device around the tonsils, ensuring complete removal while controlling any bleeding. The tonsils are then gripped with forceps and extracted, leaving small, cauterized craters where they once were.

The adenoids are next. The surgeon uses a mirror and headlight to visualize the adenoids at the back of the nasal passage. She then employs a curette, a specialized scraping instrument, to remove the adenoid tissue. The curette is inserted through your mouth and maneuvered into position. With a swift scraping motion, the adenoids are detached and removed. Again, the electrocautery device is used to control bleeding and ensure all adenoid tissue is excised.

Hemostats are applied as needed to clamp off any small vessels that continue to bleed, and the suction device is used continuously to remove blood and other fluids from the surgical site. The surgeon ensures that all remnants of the tonsils and adenoids are completely removed before concluding the procedure. She checks the surgical area thoroughly, using a combination of direct visualization and palpation to confirm that the tissues are clean and free of any remaining debris.

The entire process is meticulous, with the surgeon and her team working in unison to ensure a smooth and successful operation. After the procedure is complete, the mouth gag is carefully removed, and the drapes are adjusted to prepare for the next phase of surgery.

Appendectomy

You are moved to the OR table and positioned for an appendectomy. Fresh surgical drapes are applied, covering you except for the surgical site on your lower abdomen. The sterile field is established meticulously, with each drape placed precisely to ensure no contamination.

The surgeon begins by making an incision with a scalpel just above your right hip. The initial cut is about three inches long, slicing through the skin and subcutaneous tissue. Once the incision is made, the surgeon uses retractors to hold the incision open, providing a clear view of the underlying tissues. Hemostats are applied to clamp any bleeding vessels, ensuring a bloodless field. The surgeon then uses Metzenbaum scissors for delicate dissection, carefully navigating through layers of muscle and fat to reach the appendix.

As she approaches the peritoneum, the thin membrane that lines the abdominal cavity, she switches to a more delicate touch, making a small incision in the peritoneum to gain access to the abdominal organs. The surgeon gently lifts the loops of intestine, searching for the appendix. Once located, the appendix is carefully isolated from surrounding tissues.

The surgeon clamps the base of the appendix with a pair of hemostats to prevent any contents from leaking into the abdomen. She then uses Metzenbaum scissors to cut the appendix free from the cecum, the part of the intestine where it is attached. The removed appendix is placed in a sterile container for examination. Surgical sponges are used to absorb blood and fluids, keeping the area clean.

To close the incision, the surgeon first sutures the peritoneum with absorbable stitches, ensuring that the abdominal cavity is sealed. She then sutures the muscle layers, being careful to align the tissues properly to promote healing. Finally, the skin is closed with either sutures or surgical staples, and a sterile dressing is applied to protect the wound.

Gallbladder Removal

Gallbladder removal follows. The team re-drapes you to expose the upper right quadrant of your abdomen, ensuring a sterile field. The procedure is performed laparoscopically, which means it will involve several small incisions rather than one large one.

The surgeon begins by making several small incisions in your abdomen, typically four. She inserts trocars, which are small, tube-like instruments that provide access points for the laparoscopic instruments. A laparoscope, which is a long, thin tube with a camera and light at the end, is inserted through one of the trocars, giving the surgical team a clear view of your internal organs on a video monitor.

The surgeon carefully maneuvers the laparoscope to locate the gallbladder. Using graspers inserted through another trocar, she lifts and holds the gallbladder in place. Scissors are then used to dissect the tissue around the gallbladder, carefully cutting away the connective tissue that holds it in place.

The cystic duct and cystic artery, which supply bile and blood to the gallbladder, are identified and clipped with clip appliers. These clips ensure that there is no bleeding and that no bile leaks into the abdominal cavity. Once the clips are securely in place, the surgeon uses scissors to cut the duct and artery.

With the gallbladder fully detached, it is placed into a small retrieval bag inserted through one of the trocars. The bag is then carefully pulled out through one of the incisions. The surgical team ensures that the bag remains intact during removal to prevent any spillage of bile.

Throughout the procedure, the suction/irrigation device is used to maintain a clear view and clean operative field. This device irrigates the area with

a sterile solution and suctions away blood and fluids. Once the gallbladder is removed, the surgeon performs a final inspection of the abdominal cavity to ensure there is no residual bleeding or bile leakage.

The incisions are then closed with sutures or surgical glue, and sterile dressings are applied to each site. The surgeon removes the drapes, and you are repositioned for the next procedure.

Prostate Removal and Orchiectomy

Repositioned in the stirrups, the prostate removal and orchiectomy are next. Fresh surgical drapes are applied, covering your lower abdomen and genital area.

The surgeon begins by making an incision below your navel with a scalpel. The incision is deepened carefully through layers of skin, fat, and muscle until the surgeon reaches the abdominal cavity. Retractors are used to hold the incision open, providing a clear view of the surgical field. Hemostats are applied to control any bleeding from cut blood vessels.

Using dissecting scissors and a combination of blunt dissection techniques, the surgeon carefully separates the prostate from surrounding tissues. The nerves and blood vessels that run alongside the prostate are meticulously preserved to maintain functionality. Once the prostate is fully isolated, it is removed and set aside.

Next, the surgeon moves to the orchiectomy. Incisions are made in the scrotum, and the testicles are carefully extracted. The spermatic cords are clamped with hemostats, cut, and then ligated to prevent any bleeding. The testicles are removed, and the incisions are sutured closed with absorbable stitches.

A hormone implant is placed in the cavity left behind by the prostate. This implant will provide a controlled release of hormones necessary for your transition. The surgeon then carefully sutures the incision in the lower abdomen, ensuring that each layer of tissue is properly aligned to promote healing. A catheter is inserted into your urethra to ensure that urine can drain freely as you recover.

The surgical mesh may be used to support the pelvic floor if necessary, depending on the extent of the tissue removal and the individual anatomical needs. The mesh is carefully placed and secured, ensuring it provides the necessary support without causing discomfort.

Facial Feminization Surgery

Finally, facial feminization surgery is performed. The surgeon reshapes your facial features, softening your jawline, reducing the size of your Adam's apple, and altering the shape of your nose and cheekbones.

The procedure begins with the surgeon making incisions with a scalpel along predetermined lines marked on your face. These incisions are strategically placed in natural creases and along the hairline to minimize visible scarring.

To reshape the jawline, the surgeon uses an osteotome and mallet. The osteotome, a chisel-like instrument, is carefully positioned along the jawbone, and the mallet is used to gently tap it, shaving down the bone. This process is repeated in small increments, allowing the surgeon to sculpt the jawline gradually and precisely. The burr drill is then used to smooth and contour the bone, ensuring a natural and feminine appearance.

For the reduction of the Adam's apple, the surgeon makes a small incision in the throat area. The tracheal cartilage is carefully exposed, and a portion is shaved down using a scalpel and specialized instruments. The surgeon takes great care to preserve the surrounding structures while achieving a more feminine contour.

Altering the shape of your nose involves careful dissection and reshaping of the nasal bones and cartilage. The surgeon makes incisions inside the nostrils and along the columella (the tissue between the nostrils). Using a combination of osteotomes, chisels, and a burr drill, the surgeon reshapes the nasal bones and cartilage to create a softer, more refined appearance. The skin is then re-draped over the newly sculpted framework, and the incisions are closed with fine sutures.

To enhance the cheekbones, the surgeon may use implants or fat grafting. For implants, small incisions are made inside the mouth, and the implants are carefully positioned over the cheekbones. If fat grafting is used, fat is harvested from another area of your body, purified, and then injected into the cheeks to add volume and contour.

Each step of the procedure is meticulously planned and executed, with the surgeon constantly checking the results to ensure symmetry and balance. The incisions are closed with fine sutures, and a sterile dressing is applied to protect the surgical sites and promote healing.

Vaginoplasty

The final procedure is vaginoplasty. You are positioned and draped carefully to expose the genital area while maintaining a sterile field. This highly complex surgery involves creating a neovagina, clitoris, and labia from the existing penile and scrotal tissue.

The surgeon begins by marking the surgical site. A midline incision is made along the penile shaft, and the skin is carefully separated from the underlying tissue. The penile skin is then inverted to create the vaginal canal. This involves meticulous dissection to preserve as much tissue as possible.

The urethra is shortened and repositioned to a more anatomically correct location. This requires precise cutting and suturing to ensure proper urinary function post-surgery. The erectile tissue is removed to reduce the risk of complications and to shape the new anatomy.

The surgeon then creates the neovagina by forming a cavity between the rectum and the prostate. The inverted penile skin is carefully inserted into this cavity, and the surgeon ensures it is properly positioned and secured. The neovagina is then lined with the penile skin, and any excess skin is trimmed.

The clitoris is formed from the glans of the penis, preserving the nerve supply to maintain sensation. The surgeon carefully shapes the glans into a clitoral structure and secures it at the top of the vaginal opening. The labia minora and majora are created from the scrotal tissue, which is dissected, trimmed, and reshaped to form the outer and inner lips of the new vulva.

Throughout the procedure, the surgeon uses fine sutures to close incisions and to secure the newly formed structures. The area is irrigated frequently to maintain a clear surgical field and to minimize the risk of infection. Surgical sponges are used to absorb any fluids, and hemostats are applied to control bleeding.

Once the neovagina, clitoris, and labia are formed and positioned correctly, the surgeon performs a final inspection to ensure everything is in place and there are no complications. A vaginal stent is inserted to keep the canal open during the healing process, and a sterile dressing is applied to protect the surgical site.

32-Teeth Transplantation

The following procedure is equally intricate and requires precise coordination. Another man, conscious and terrified, is brought into the OR. He is positioned next to you, and surgical drapes are used to maintain sterile fields around both your mouth and his. The man struggles and pleads, but the medical team remains focused on their task.

The team begins by sedating the other man to prevent excessive movement. The sedative is strong enough to keep him still but not enough to fully anesthetize him. He is aware of the procedure, but his body is unable to respond.

The extraction of his 32 teeth begins with the insertion of a mouth prop to keep his mouth open. The surgeon uses a straight elevator to loosen each tooth, feeling for the give that indicates the ligaments have been disrupted. The dental forceps are then used to grip the crowns of the teeth firmly. With a twisting and pulling motion, the teeth are extracted one by one. The suction device is used continuously to remove saliva and blood, ensuring a clear field.

Once all 32 teeth are extracted from the donor, they are immediately placed in a sterile solution to keep them viable. The donor's mouth is inspected for any remaining fragments, and the sockets are cleaned and sutured closed to promote healing.

The next phase involves the implantation of the extracted teeth into your mouth. The surgeon positions you with your mouth open using a mouth prop. Small incisions are made in your gums to create new sockets for the donor teeth. The teeth are carefully inserted, one by one, ensuring they are properly aligned and secured. Each tooth is anchored using fine sutures and a dental bonding agent to stabilize them in place.

Throughout the procedure, both you and the donor remain under close observation. The surgical team works efficiently, ensuring that the teeth are transplanted quickly to minimize the risk of failure. The donor's teeth are now your own, a complex and unsettling addition to your transformation.

Once the teeth are implanted, your gums are sutured to secure the new teeth. The surgical site is cleaned, and a dental guard is placed to protect the fresh implants. The donor is moved out of the OR, his role in the procedure complete, while you remain to undergo further evaluations and treatments.

Final Preparations

After all the surgeries are completed, the surgical team ensures that all incisions are properly closed and dressings are applied to protect the surgical sites. You are transferred to a recovery room where you are closely monitored as you slowly regain consciousness.

As you wake, the reality of what has been done to you begins to sink in. The pain and discomfort are overwhelming, and you struggle to comprehend the extent of the changes to your body. The medical staff remains professional and detached, their focus now on your recovery and stabilization.

Waking Up

Hours later, you begin to regain consciousness. The transition from oblivion to awareness is gradual and disorienting. The first sensation you register is a dull, pervasive ache that seems to emanate from your entire body. The soft beeping of monitors and the hum of medical equipment fade into your awareness, grounding you in the reality of the hospital room.

As your eyelids flutter open, the harsh fluorescent lighting overhead causes you to squint. Your vision slowly comes into focus, revealing the sterile white walls of the recovery room. You feel groggy, your mind foggy from the anesthesia and the cumulative effects of the extensive surgeries.

The first

thing you notice is the oxygen mask covering your nose and mouth, delivering cool, steady breaths. You attempt to move, but your body feels heavy and uncooperative, bound by the lingering effects of the anesthesia and the fresh post-operative pain.

A nurse, noticing your stirring, approaches your bedside. Her face is partially obscured by a surgical mask, but her eyes convey a calm, reassuring presence. She gently checks your vitals, her touch practiced and efficient.

"Welcome back," she says softly, her voice soothing. "You're in the recovery room. The surgeries went well. Just try to relax and let your body rest."

Confusion quickly turns to panic as you realize you have no memory of agreeing to any extensive surgeries. You try to speak, but the words come out as muffled protests through the oxygen mask. Your attempts to move are met with sharp pain and the restrictive feel of the compression garments and bandages.

You start to thrash, pulling at the IV lines and trying to rip off the oxygen mask. The nurse steps back, her eyes widening in concern.

"Please, you need to stay calm," she urges, trying to soothe you. "You've had multiple surgeries. Moving around too much could cause complications."

Her words barely register as you continue to struggle, your panic escalating. Another nurse quickly joins, holding your arms gently but firmly to prevent you from causing harm to yourself.

"I didn't agree to this! What did you do to me?" you manage to shout, your voice hoarse and filled with fear.

The nurses exchange worried glances before one of them speaks. "We need to call the doctor. Hold on."

Moments later, a doctor enters the room. She looks composed and serious, her expression one of professional concern. "Please, try to calm down. You're in a safe place, and we're here to help you."

"Help me? I didn't agree to any of this!" you shout again, your voice shaking. "What did you do to me?"

The doctor steps closer, her tone calm and authoritative. "You've undergone several surgeries. I know this is a shock, but we need you to stay still and let us explain."

"Why? I didn't consent to any of this!"

Dr. Patel takes a deep breath. "We understand that you have no memory of consenting. You were selected for a comprehensive medical trial, and we have documents indicating your agreement."

"No!" you shout, your panic rising again. "I never agreed to this! Let me go!"

The nurse quickly increases the sedative in your IV again, and you feel your resistance weaken as the drowsiness takes over. "We will discuss this further when you're feeling better," Dr. Patel says. "Right now, your body needs to heal."

As the sedative pulls you back into unconsciousness, you feel a deep sense of betrayal and fear. You’re left alone with your thoughts, wondering how you ended up in this situation and what will happen next.

Subsequent Awakenings

The next time you wake, it’s in small increments. You’re more alert each time, but with that alertness comes the realization of the changes to your body. The pain is still there, a constant reminder of what has been done.

A different nurse, this time a man with a kind but professional demeanor, is checking your vitals. "You’re awake," he observes. "How are you feeling? Any pain or discomfort?"

"All of it," you mutter, trying to shift without causing too much pain. "I need to know… why."

"Let’s get you comfortable first," the nurse says, adjusting the bed so you’re in a more upright position. "Dr. Patel will be in shortly to discuss everything with you."

This time, when Dr. Patel enters, she’s accompanied by a psychiatrist. "This is Dr. Williams," she introduces. "We’re here to help you process everything."

"I just want answers," you say, exhaustion in your voice. "I didn’t agree to this."

Dr. Williams steps forward. "We understand how disorienting this must be. Our records show you were a part of a trial, but it’s clear there’s been a severe misunderstanding."

"A misunderstanding?" you echo, incredulous. "You’ve changed everything about me!"

Dr. Patel and Dr. Williams exchange a look before Dr. Williams speaks again. "For now, let’s focus on your recovery. We’ll work on finding out exactly how this happened and ensure it doesn’t happen to anyone else."

Their words offer little comfort as you lay back, feeling a mix of anger, confusion, and helplessness. The road ahead is uncertain, but for now, you focus on the small victories of recovery, each one bringing you closer to understanding the full scope of what has happened and reclaiming some control over your life.

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