#are there even ppl still reading this haha damn

[clownattack]

Whenever i am told thangs abt the leech i just go. What an embarrassing person gosh

[spiritual-messages]

Their feelings for you :

Hello guys merry christmas 🎅 I wish you all a very bright future and a great year ahead bless!

Todays reading is all about your person's feelings for you .. So I want you all think take a few deep breaths think about your person and then pick a pile that attracts you the most bless here's my masterlist

The pictures aren't mine and are taken from pinterest 🤍 credit it the ownersss

Pile 1 ----- pile 2

Pile 3

Pile 1

This person and their energy :

Alrightie pile 1 welcome to your reading so the energy feels so warm and comforting here wowww so goood..so guys i heard " colleague " " guide " "soulmate" right after I connected... So lemme say that this person is your soulmate .. You have lived lives with them .. And this person is connected deeply with u .. And you both have influence over each other's lives and emotions .. Oohlalala

Their Feelings -

So this person feels like you are their soulmate .. Yes they are into spirituality and yess they know they have a connection with you that"s outta this material world ( lol I remembered the iconic MaTeRiAl GoWrL ) they feel like they are in perfect harmony .. And in perfect balance when they are with you.. This could also mean that you both guys are quite opposite but still feel balanced and listened when you are with each other .. This person feels veryyy comfortable sharing their emotions with you . they feel like they can trust you with everything (so precious ) they feel like you will always support them and give them honest opinions if they asked you about smth . ( they think u are very blunt that's what they find attractive they hate sugar coated ppl ) so guys this person and you might have an age gap possibly 2-5 years thats what im seeing and if they are the older one here .. They wanna protect you and guide you through out the life ... So they are actually not expressing their love for you right now .. Becz they think its not the right time ? (🤨 they tryin to get u outta your shell ? )

So this person has these oh so cheesy (jk jk lol) nahh they have romantic feelings for you tho they feel like you both can create your own little fairytale ( ngl u guys are cute haha dreamy and cute .. I see Pisces energyyy ) you guys could be from diffrent places mhm and met through work ( complicated i see.. Love at first sight for some ) guys this person loves you so much and they even planned their future with you ... they wanna travel with you haha could love museums this person is into art .. Like painting .. Damn... They are also veryyy romantic .. Might be into poetry wooho cool ...

Rn I see that they are trying to open you up like they wanna know how you feel about them .. Wanna discover your emotions till then they'll admire you from far ( aww poor guy/girl ) they want you to be fully comfortable with them before they confess their feelings haha ..

Possible zodiac - Pisces ,cancer and scorpio ( coming strong .. Water signs are everywhere haha bless ) taurus and virgo and a little bit of leo ( hey fellowsss )

Thats all for today .. Hope it resonated

Bless take care of yourself I wish you everything besttt

merry christmas

Pile 2

This person and their energy :

Alrightie pile 2 ... So guys ... For some of you .. This person is from past .. Could be your first love ( this is only for a few of you if you dont want you past come back its okay remember you create your own reality so let this info slide as its general reading alright Bless!) Or I see you spent past lives with this person.. So, This person could be your first love .. ( or you are this person's first love haha ) I see you guys met online ( are u asking about an ex ? This is your reading then)

Feelings :

So guys these person has soooo much romantic feelings for you .. They feel like some teenager around you like they get so shy around you *nervous laugh* lol ( now it makes sense tho .. Now i can finally understand why first love was coming so strong ) you have an effect on them .. They get goosebumps when they maintain eyeconatct with you and butterflies in the stomach if you ever stand close by ... Guys this person has separation anxiety ( awww idk for some reason im like " awww " I just can't help tho they are too cute ) so they hate having arguments with you they hate seeing you angry .. Like they feel that their whole world burnt down into ashes right infront of their eyes when u guys fight .. Guys this person wants to have a family with you. . like they wanna have children with you.. They want you as their wife/husband as soon as possible .. They wanna quit everything and just focus on you guysss this person is obsessed with you but in a healthy way tho. . they hate being away from you ... And they feel like they can stare at you 24/7 (wow completely melted bruh) this persons feels so happy with you .. They feel like you are their cute teddy bear that they can hug all day without getting tired ( ahhhh typa boy who would wake u up with kisses and buy you chocolates when u r on ur periods so affectionateeehhhh ) so guys this persons might talk alot around you or send u alot of texts .. They feel like you are the most precious thing in this world (which is a fact )

Possible zodiac :

Cancer , Pisces , scorpio , leo( heyyya felllows haha thats why the energy is so romantic mhmmm) , aries , virgo ( earthy earthy so caringgh) , aquarius ( cute little aliens )

So these could be their or your's sun , moon , rising or venus ,bless!

Bless ! I wish you everything best! Take care of your self! 🦋❤️

Merry christmas! ❤️💚

Pile 3 :

This person and their energy :

Alright pileee 3 welcome to your reading so the energy is heavy and mature here .👀 unlike the other two piles which were dreamy and all lovey dovey.. I feel more realistic here .. So your person is someone very mature and rational .. They might have a very serious aura and a rbf .. They are really mysteries and secretive .. They hate showing emotions tho this might be someone who's older than you or more mature orrr someone who's senior .. Someone on higher rank .. This person wasn't that lucky with love before which left them deep cuts and cracks on their heart which needs to be healed but instead of healing them they build walls around their heart and created boundaries .. They have trust issues and problem opening up to ppl 👀 also they are too calm that its annoying like nothing effects them ( well atleast thats what they show ahahaha after all they are also a human tho)

Their feelings :

So guys right now i see them confused .. Like they are really confused that why you wanna know them and why are you so nice to them .. (Hmm this guys is so extra .. Calm that ass down muhfakuh ) so they defiantly feel like you are someone magical .. So optimistic and nice always so kind ..( well they are suspicious ngl) they feel like you aren't that nice that you show...they often think " can someone be this perfect ? " they feel like you are with them just for the money they have ( oh common bitch release that past for fuck's sake ) they feel lile they shouldn't fall for you .. They are trying so hard to not fall in love but .. Damn ( finally bruhhh) i see that there are some romantic feelings coming .. The wheel turns and now they feel so comfortable with you. this got them thinkin " probably she/he is perfect .. She isn't like here/him (their ex) " I see them slowly letting their guard down around you .. Seeing a new life and journey with you which seems really exciting but again they are insecure and doubt full " what if she cheated .. What if I got my heart broken again "/( the pas was really bad and they dont wanna feel broken again guys .. They are Still confused if they should or shouldn't fall for you tho) they are trying to heal their past first .. I see you guys are probably in separation rn . becz this person is trying to heal .. Trying to get their mind clear about you ... They wanna heal from past first they are releasing their ex so they can be ready for a new loving relation with you .. And soon they will give you a chance .

Possible zodiac :

Capricorn ( ngl I knew it ) , virgo( not even surprised) , scorpio ( ha! Caught yaaaa) , aries , leo , sag

Thats all for today pile 3! LTake care of yourself I wish you everything best haha bless

Merry christmas ❤️💚( sorry only one song cameee forgive me pileee 3🥺)

That's all for today guysss I hope it resonated 🤞🤍... I wish you all a merry christmas .. Take care of yourself and spend time with your familyyy .. I wish you a great year

Take caree!

Bless

[kadextra]

after my previous post, I decided to read ahead of the manhwa now bc I can’t wait!!! and I kinda feel like writing down some liveblog thoughts here while doing it :D

here we go, starting from chapter 184

[ MAJOR SPOILERS!!!!! DO NOT CLICK if you haven’t ever read before. I’m so serious its a lot of spoilers. pls just ignore this and scroll on ]

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ummm dokja saying “oh this scenario will be fine! don’t worry i’m prepared this will be problem-free & so very easy haha :)” + getting all emotional about his friends is setting off my red flag senses so hard. dokja you still have the fate message praying on your downfall….

dokja I’m scared. Dokja I Don’t Like This

ah. hah. the demon king guy is literally dead on the floor 🧍awesome

damn I knew this couldn’t be trusted and some plot twist would happen it was never going to be that simple. someone has to take the position now. I hate you nebulaes how about you catch these hands

OH NO JOONGHYUK?? YOU STUPID IDIOT STOP

my boys are fighting o(-(

yo wait turns out the world won’t reset even if he regresses??? but still :( he won’t be able to see this to the end and will get stuck back in the loop :(( joonghyuk has changed so much from the start and I’ve grown to like him a lot he doesn’t deserve this I’ll cry

OF COURSE DOKJA GONNA SACRIFICE HIMSELF INSTEAD. ITS HIS FAVORITE HOBBY!

dokja’s self reflection of how the reason he survived all the tragedies in his life is bc of TWSA & watching how joonghyuk never gave up…. the whole “it’s because you saved me so now it’s my turn to save you” from a person directed to their favorite character and their favorite story which was their life companion…. honestly I don’t quite have words to describe the way these lines make me feel. it’s just profound and deeply relatable

gilyoung my poor son he doesn’t want his hyung to die 😭

sighs it’s too late. at least demon king dokja looks cool…. now the wings fanart I’ve seen in passing makes sense…..

he’s a goner

I am going to be completely honest. I genuinely expected to be reading more of an epic shounen-style final battle where he uses all the cool corrupted demon powers and maybe goes a little wacky because that’s usually what happens in stories when the protagonist unlocks an evil power and has to fight his friends. NOT THIS????????

the situation has zero hope and he is just standing there one sidedly taking hits from his friends who are forced to kill him. while guiding them on how to do it. smiling and offering them words of encouragement. this is so devastating I feel sick

URIEL MY BABY seeing her cry is the worst it’s torture

of course his stigma is called sacrificial will

STOP

THAT ARTWORK

THEY ARE HIS LOVED FAMILY…… HE LOVES THEM ALL N JOONGHYUK WAS YHR PERSON HE LOVED MOST I CALLED IT I want to hit something

im full on crying now

all the constellations messages of they don’t wish for his death I’m not strong enough

reading this feels like getting ripped apart limb by limb

NO WAY THE FVGTIFJFJCKN HELD BY THE NECK THING RETURNS A THIRD TIME LIKE THIS??? STOOOPPPPPPPP

uriel T-T

he died

demon king of salvation

need to just lay here for a bit

ok I’m back joonghyuk is disassociating from the grief. relatable

“What if Yoo Joonghyuk went back and there was no Kim Dokja? or what if Kim Dokja never acted like this again? Yoo Joonghyuk was afraid of something for the first time.”

“He met Kim Dokja in his third regression and they became companions. Then he lost Kim Dokja”

he cares for him so much

a scenario without dokja.

whag did I just read

-

UGH that was so good. emotional damage was an understatement now I get why ppl were warning me

why did I decide to do this in the middle of the night…. I need to stop now I’m tired but how am I going to sleep? im haunted with thoughts

it’ll take a bit longer for the manhwa to adapt this part but I’m honestly really glad I continued reading and got to imagine it all myself in detail first- it hit so hard. I’ll let it sit and take a few days break before I continue. excited to see how they adapt it into drawings and cry all over again cause this wound ain’t healing for a while

I have the need to recommend this story to all my friends and family

oh right!!!!

the other day I went through youtube animatics & saved some that I could watch when finishing certain chapters into a note (thank goodness most put a warning of when to watch in the first few seconds!)

since I finished 188, I get to watch this one :D

I just watched it

I cry myself to sleep

[oh-look-another]

whoops my hand slipped so now instead of starting on my lit project due tomorrow i have to analyse the circe saga <3

okay side note: this might go from a full-on analysis to incoherent rambling so heads up. uh also not in any order, especially not chronological. anyway let’s get this party started!! 

puppeteer

okay first one. wasn’t too sold on this one at first (not like the other ones *cough* wouldn’t you like *cough*) but like?? wow

circe’s voice!!

‘a woman’ ‘what’ 

ody just. brushing eurylochus away he sounds so donelike not done just. tired of life. if yk what i mean. like he doesn’t have beef with eurylochus specifically but like he’s just irritated with the world

the soldiers!! like if i were one of them i would have willingly get turned into a pig by circe (but like, i’m not a guy so idk)

the sounds of waves im not sure if it was actually there or just my imagination but still.

the start of the song echoes the melody of the first part of full speed ahead?? like i was singing it in my head before the words of puppeteer actually sunk in

it sounds so party-ish like i can imagine the vibes no wait i can feel the vibes it’s party vibes. i can imagine the soldiers getting drunk on the wine and lust. i can smell the wine. i can hear the music blasting from the shitty speakers hidden in the corners of the too-crowded room. i’ve never been to a party before. you can probably tell.

what was the thing that eurylochus wanted to say tho?? i’m curious. ppl who read the odyssey, was this interaction mentioned or made-up, and if it did happen, is it relevant to the plot? do we find out what he wanted to tell ody?

why is ody’s voice so deep

very gentle waves-esque music at the start. lulls us into a false sense of security. makes us think the island is safe. it isn’t. we’ve all been fooled by circe’s tricks.

‘there’s only so much more we can endure’ my poor boy this isn’t half of it

alternative take: they are traumatised babies we must protect them with our lives

alternative alternative take: and whose fault was that, ody? hmm? was it perhaps, the fault of a reckless captain who decided to fucking reveal his name-

oh my gods the way he just starts straight-up rapping-

‘we have to go save them’ ‘no we don’t’ well damn eurylochus who hurt you like this that was real quick

ody’s ‘damn’ like sir i know you’re contemplating running to said woman in question he sounds seduced already and he hasn’t even met the witch yet

eurylochus’ ‘okay’ sounds really dejected this probably doesn’t mean anything but that’s the point of an analysis so- 

hey hey hey don’t greet the mysterious voice why are you doing that i thought you guys learnt your mistake(s)!!

oh oh oh her voice is so pretty it’s so good!!

she’s so bold and confident she’s amazing ahhhhh

her revealing her name! this says something like yk ‘names have power’ i can’t remember if it was pjo universe or actual facts but the fact that circe’s so sure of her ability to defend herself and her nymphs she gives away her name to ppl freely

oh so that’s how you pronounce circe (i just assumed it had a silent e)

you’re the only one who stayed outside?? hmm? eurylochus? well at least you learnt something

haha the soldiers sound so happy to be there

i don’t blame them tho they’re super tired they just want and need a safe place to rest 

yeah that’s right don’t fucking underestimate women

uhm circe i don’t thing getting turned into pigs is gonna be the best part of these soldiers lives i think the best part passed before troy

no no no do not trust ppl who offer food did you not learn from the lotus eaters are you complacent who has the brain cell eurylochus give it back to the soldiers they need it more

awww thanks for the support circe <3

i would gladly let circe puppeteer me esp mythological!circe she’s so 

‘and it wasn’t quick’ oh. 

uh is this an inappropriate time to make a joke about furries bc pigs don’t have fur and the soldiers are dying-

‘the world does not tend to forgive’ ok lesson imparted from all-powerful being check

eurylochus hi yes you should have learnt not to abandon your friends uh but i don’t blame him tho poor guy just wants to get home (he never will)

‘but i can hardly sleep now knowing what we have done’ haha ody you’re not gonna like what comes next :3

‘i can still hear her still’ ooooh he’s Traumatised he has ptsd :))

‘i can only hope you’ll do the same’ ody go easy on him

oh circe is really protective of her nymphs

as she rightfully should

oh i’m done

wouldn’t you like

whoo my favourite 

like no offense to the others but hermes!!

his voice is so gravelly wow

his laugh sounds so mischievous fit for a trickster god

‘i must say what a brilliant speech u gave’ this implies that hermes was watching them, or more specifically, odysseus, for at least long enough to hear the conversation. which means that there’s a solid chance that hermes was in it for the gossip and stayed for the drama

there’s a betting pool up on olympus. probably. definitely.

‘you’ll need the blessing of a certain god’ when this gets an adaptation, hermes will probably do like a hair flip or something. it’s in character for him to do that, right? right?

he has an accent but what accent does he have

oh my gods hermes that was such an awful pun i had to laugh

‘hermes?’ okay hear me out ody sounds like a mystified child who can’t believe his eyes (or in this case ears)

the laugh 

he sounds more amused than anything else (he doesn’t really care, not right now, it’ll just be another fun tale to tell at parties)

was that a roar i heard?? a roar?? like the chimera?? 

oh oh oh when he’s describing circe he sounds so fascinated by her (probably me to my irl friends) like he doesn’t care? about the fate of the ppl he’s describing? he’s just? like ‘wow circe can do that isn’t that cool anyway-‘

like idk how to describe it

the emphasis he places on certain words it’s so cool to listen to (i’m running out of synonyms for amazing help)

oooooh the electric/techy feel to the song like ik it was explained in one of the videos that the gods have more electronic feel to their songs but it’s so!! cool!!

‘you can be hurt or you can beat her’ the play on words!! wow!! it’s just-

‘all you need’s imagination’ wow uh. this seems important. but uh.

‘and i call this root: holy moly’ hermes. i hate your puns. i hate them so much.

i am now compelled to explain the pun. damnit.

so basically only the gods can acquire the root. was it blessed by the gods? if it was, add a second layer to the meaning of this and ignore the question :)) and it rhymes!! holy and moly rhyme!! whoo

ody’s ‘ah’ he sounds so done

wait but hermes when he says ‘and i call this root: holy moly’ he sounds so proud of himself oh my gods like no that is not something to be proud of that is so awful ugh

‘hermes. thank you.’ oh? he appreciates his help? like he sounds so grateful wow

‘dont thank me friend you may very well die :))’ this further proves my theory that hermes is only in this for the drama?? okay yeah drama

‘good luck’ see it’s an afterthought. but he thought of ody. huh.

two more to go!!

done for

also was very very excited for this

did not disappoint

the intro is basically *epic fight music*

okay ody sounds like he’s smiling but not like a forced smile it might be genuine? like why would it be genuine? okay yeah it might be because he is confident he’s gonna win the fight. he has a god on his sight. it’s failproof. he has the flower. he doesn’t have to be scared. is this hubris?

‘through the years we seldom get a warm welcome’ okay ody. you were fighting a war. then you intruded into a cyclops’ cave. then you angered poseidon. of course you don’t get a warm welcome what were you expecting?

‘who me? all i did was reveal their true form :))’ u turned them into pigs :/‘ ‘huh.’ their banter wow.

*more epic fight music*

see the nymphs again!! she’s very very protective of them!!

‘i don’t mean to tip your scale’ ody stop lying. you did mean to tip her scale.

‘hermes gave it to you didn’t he’ ‘okay well yes fine but regardless-‘ i love love love the friendly banter between them idk but i think that in another lifetime under better circumstances they would have been really good friends

also implied that hermes has done this before so haha

‘friends i can’t neglect’ see i think this whole verse is the similarities between them see they could have been friends i know it i can feel it in my bones

*even more fight music*

the sword sound skjskjskjskjs

‘you’ve lost’ okay uh i think that was albeit too fast don;t you think so, ody? ody?

‘my nymphs are like my daughters i protect them at all costs’ yes see this is what i’ve been trying to say thanks circe

but the rhythm for this verse is so good it’s so ethereal wow

‘but everyone’s true colours are revealed in acts of lust’ circe. circe no. bad circe. stay away from ody he’s a married man

‘i’m not sure i follow’ oh ody. you poor, innocent child.

okay but his voice was so gravelly tho-

idk i don’t think circe was doing this to feed her own lust. like i don’t think she has feelings for ody or anything like i feel that she was doing exactly what she said and trying to find out what his true colours were so she could decide if she wanted to help him

last one!! not gonna like it a lot ‘cause seduction but hey greet the world with open arms am i right?

there are other ways

oh. this one.

i’m not really comfortable with this because there isn’t any point in seduction why does it exist ew

‘there are other ways of persuasion’ oh really? then show me your chimera i bet it’s cooler than whatever you’re gonna do to ody

‘there are other means of deceit’ this shows that circe is gonna convince ody to cheat on his wife but [spoiler alert] he doesn’t (for now) (i think) like deceit as in he’s deceiting his wife

okay i love the repetition here like ‘there are other…’ blah blah blah like wow. i like it. i don’t get it, but i like it.

‘want to save your men from the fire? show that you’re willing to burn’ woah. vfd core. so like this implies that she and her nymphs were planning on cooking the men-turned-into-pigs?? and also it’s a metaphor!! whoo my lit teacher would be proud of me (but less proud for not doing the project which is actual school work)

‘but there’s no puppet here’ okay so this shows that circe views ody as more powerful and resistant to her (and also her magic bc of the holy moly thingy) and less likely to fall prey to her charms (i would) 

ody doesn’t know if he can manipulate his way out of this problem hah

okay dont kill me for this but i think that the ‘just a man’ references in the song feel a bit forced bc they’re like,,, they don’t fit 

but. i think that like it’s ody trying to break out of the spell? that circe put on him to seduce him or smth like before that he was in sync then he tried to fight off the thingy by like going against the rhythm if yk what i mean

the transition from ‘forgive meeeee’ to ‘i can’t’ is so good aghhh

‘and she’s all my power’ ah this here is a clear piece of evidence that ody is the bottom in the relationship 

‘and let us puppets leave’ oh? he’s like sympathizing with her and like trying to see from her perspective so he can leave more easily

‘poseidon, eh?’ haha mood

oh they’re kinda friends whoo :)

‘i know of a brilliant prophet, problem is this prophet is dead’ *music stops momentarily, transitions to very underworld-y music* 

haha wait that was so funny

who was the prophet tho?

‘wait you’re helping us?’ he sounds so shocked

‘maybe one day the world will need a puppeteer no more’ this could imply that circe is suicidal?? whoops am i projecting

no but the genius lyrics said that the last few lyrics were sung by the soldiers they sound like theyre under a spell oh my gods imagine pigs singing this haha i think this is just like circe undoing the spell on them tho

whoo done!!

hi remember i’m just a random teen on the internet! no obligation to listen to me and my 10.37 pm rants! 

[zeltqz]

niyaaaa do u have any tips for people who wanna get into fic writing? 👀

i don’t really get how the whole posting format for fics works on here tbh 😭 and like your info area it’s so cool

YEAH OFC!! btw dm me your username so i can follow and support you <3

tip 1- the posting format isnt that hard to get used to actually its just you create a tumblr text post and then copy and paste your fic onto it, add the tags and stuff then post it. if you want to add banners, headers and stuff to make it look better then go ahead, just add images to the text post

tip 2- the info area is the same as above, just add pictures of your choice etc to the text post, add your information, name, age, fav things etc and then to link posts to your post, highlight where u want the link to go, then copy the link of the post u want linked then press the hyperlink that looks like two chains linked together when you highlight the text if that makes sense? sounds like a lot but its rlly not i promise haha

tip 3- always type your fics on other apps like word or google docs since they have an auto save feature!! i dont reccomend typing your fics on tumblr since one if the app crashes, it doesn't automatically save your work so everything you wrote will get deleted (some versions of tumblr do have autosave, my laptop has it but my phone and iPad doesn't, so i dont rely on it)

tip 4- idk if you want tips on actual fic writing or just how to get your fics onto tumblr but ill help you with that anyway. with me when i write fics i always imagine it out in my head. theres some of my fics where i just went with the flow and wrote wgatever came to mind and those are the fics i hate the most because they dont rlly make sense to me. theyre always so random and it just seems rushed and bad.

i picture my fics like a scene in my head and whatever i want the character to do, think, say or feel i write that shit down asap. i use other online sources to help get more descriptive like the emotion theasurus <- honestly one of my favourite things to use ever, they have so much body language to use for every emotion in the damn book

dialogue is also something i find difficult. i've improved i personally feel like but its still hard for me especially if im writing a new character. i never want to make the character seem OOC so i do lots of research before hand. i normally use the wiki to read up on a characters personality.

for example i'll use ran for this since he's like 99% of my account lmao. in the wiki, he's described as "naturally whimsical toward others which makes him inscrutable" though ran doesnt have many scenes in the manga (which i hate bc i love him sm) its impossible to actually write him down to a tee so i use that naturally whimsical description to make him playful, charismatic, carefree etc, going off what little information i have with him.

getting a characters personality down is what can make or break a dialogue. for me when im reading a fic of a character and their dialogue is so OOC it puts me off and i dont even wanna read. so i apply my same fic icks to myself and think if I don't like seeing this and that in a fic, why would I incorporate those in my fics and have ppl get put off it if they have the same fic icks as me?

hope that makes sense!!

tip 5- dont rush yourself at all. i used to rush a few of my fics and i just ended up hating it so much after and fought bck the urge to delete them so many times but then i'd see people's comments and realise i was being too harsh on myself. i'd keep them up but i'd just hate seeing them get attention.

rushing only makes you hate your work and the quality of your work will decline if you are not in the right headspace.

thats also why i have the don't rush me thing in my rules because not only is it annoying to see people constantly asking for updates, it also makes me mad because i know i'll just put out a piece of garbage if i did rush.

also another tip don't give yourself deadlines!! if you know your writing consistency can be a little sloppy, don't tell your followers that you're going to upload every so and so day. if something happens and you miss the deadline, you'll feel bad and rush something out and most times out of ten, a rushed fic doesn't do well. so take your time and don't rush.

tip 6- dont listen to what other people say or feel obligated to write something you don't wanna. establish your boundaries!! for example, from day one i started this blog i said im accepting requests but i will not write anything to do with non-con, incest or minors. i made sure that was out there so i wouldn't feel uncomforable writing anything i wasn't comfy with.

there are people on this app that may like your writing and request you to write something for them. you are not obligated to write anything for anyone! don't feel like you have to just because they asked nicely.

if you want to accept requests you can im not saying you shouldn't, im saying don't feel like you have to. you always have a choice. its your blog.

tip 7- remember this isn't a job. you're allowed to take breaks, allowed to have a personal life. don't feel like you need to be updating every day. i used to think i was obligated to be uploading consistently at least every week because i was obsesssed with engagement and seeing peoples comments and was scared if i took a break ppl will unfollow. now i honestly don't care. i'm not active as much as i used to because of school and that's fine! if ppl want to leave, let them. don't feel like you're forced to keep being active in order to keep your follower count stable.

tip 8- this app can get really toxic sometimes. luckily enough i've only had one toxic anon in my inbox and i've been on this app for a year. some people have so many, some ppl get harrassed etc. if that happens to you just be prepared since there's no actual way to find out who's behind anons. you can turn off your anon options which means if ppl want to inbox you something then their account will be showing. some people arent comfortable with that and that's fine! i keep mine on because i want people to feel comfortable on my page.

just remember though if you ever feel like this app is getting overwhelming take breaks! for the sake of your mental health take breaks. i know so many writers on here that took breaks and came back healthier and stronger.

i feel like this tip goes for social media in general. as much as i love social media im aware how unhealthy it is. breaks are so important for you. remember that.

i can't think of anymore tips right now but if i have some more i will edit the post and add it on.

if u have anymore questions about the tumblr posting format dm me and ill help you out :))

[scarletanpan]

.

Tw for transphobia ig? Not super serious I just cant focus til i scream abt this so sorry

Tumblrs tryna get me in something I keep seeing out of context discourse abt transandrophobia , tried to avoid it bc it was hitting a sore spot but finally looked and. Don't get why ppl arguing it shouldnt be a term for transmascs/trans men bc they only experience transphobia while being benefited by the patriarchy. Like u are still. Trans? Rlly its a weird cocktail of transphobia, misogyny, and misandry where ppl dont see u as a man if they know ur female, but get uncomfortable abt u presenting as masc, like ur ruining urself and hrt turns u into some evil scary creature bc men are bad apparently and bioessentialism is a curse upon this world that needs to be eradicated like.

The timing of this got to me bc the one person I came out to fully was a guy(who had a crush on me the whole time unfortunately) that immediately responded by letting me know he was into femboys. Then clarified he also liked masc women, and every time we talked from then on he brought up guy stuff but would stop and go 'yeah idk if i should say it.. ur like a girl u know, right?' Exact phrasing no matter how many times I said haha ig but 80% of the time i feel like a guy, but I couldnt be anything other than a girl to him unless I was a femboy. He confessed that multiple times like it was some suggestion..? Great way to get ur gender fucked up like back tf up damn cognitively I am Not there yet i was just excited abt sharing my identity w someone.. I dont have an issue w them they're cute I just felt wildly dysphoric abt it. Which is why I'm complaining ig my bad its wild but minimal in comparison to stuff I read the Actual point is.

This seems to just be a handful of ppl holding these opinions and they get spread around, and they have issues w afab nb ppl like?? The complaints I've seen seem to be targeting some idea of afab nb ppl being able to use their status as a privilege which. Idk what imaginary yt skinny middle class easily able to pass being they think comprises all afab nbs and transmascs? Like have yall never heard of intersectionality a little?? Even within that group there is so much variation yall are gonna lose it when u realize race, physical appearance, money, social status and abt a million other factors impact most ppls ability to be trans while receiving any respect or affirmation like

Show me where most ppl dont look at afab nb ppl and treat them like a girl or ignore any of ur pronouns besides she/her like. It's just dumb to deny ppl the right to talk abt how they experience transphobia bc u assume every nb person can pass or wants to idk?? As an nb I don't ever rlly expect to reach passing one way or the other but we live in a society so ppl will not respect that and thats the real issue! So weird like we need to be focusing on the transphobes that don't want any of us to have the right to transition or express ourselves. Which is what I plan to do now I've said my piece but idk afab nb ppl get behind me I'll fight to the death like. I'll fight to the death for all of us we all experience oppression in one way or the other and attacking certain communities over preconceptions doesn't help imo

And last note I don't wanna seem like idk how pressing of an issue transmisogny is ik how heavily targeted trans women are on a public scale comparatively there's always something to be said abt that. And a lil nervous abt using afab I don't wanna be exclusionary but couldn't find anyone using another term for nb ppl like me I'm tryna educate myself on intersex liberation on the side.. just don't think we need to infight we should listen to each other

[lexosaurus]

Was wondering with the holidays coming up if we could get a little sneak peak of the Christmas EWW chptr ? (If you have any of your ideas for it down yet I mean) If it's too spoilery I understand, not trying to pester or anything, just was giving it a re read recently and I'd be lying if I said I'm not super curious (and excited) lol.

Oh ppl are totally allowed to pester me about EWW in fact I encourage it.

Also I'm all good now so ppl are back to being allowed to pester me about my other fics too haha.

X-mas chapter bit below the cut in case people don't want to be spoiled! Keep in mind it's only in its first draft, but I think this is pretty decent and also a good preview of what's to come 👀

****

The door swung open with enough force to plow through the wall. 

Or, that’s what Danny was imagining, at least. But despite the loud bang of the door, the scrambling feet, and overwhelming voices, the door stayed perfectly intact on its hinges.

“Aunt Alicia!” Jazz popped up from the couch. “Welcome!”

“Jazz!” Alicia stepped through the interior, her suitcase in hand. A green coat had been thrown over her overalls and plaid T-shirt, and she shed it as soon as she stepped through the threshold of the door. 

Jazz hugged her. “Good to see you! You haven’t changed a bit!”

It was true. No matter how old Alicia got, she still wouldn’t be remiss without her red mullet and bulldog-like features.

“I can’t say the same about you!” Alicia said, slapping her hand on Jazz’s back. She pulled Jazz away, surveying her up and down with a grin. “Look at you, your hair’s so long now. And have you grown?”

“Not since I was like thirteen!” Jazz laughed. 

Maddie peeked over their shoulders. “I can take your suitcase to the guest room.”

“Nonsense!” Alicia barked. “It hasn’t been that long since I’ve been here. I remember where it is just fine!”

“Don’t worry, Alicia,” Jack said, getting up from the couch. “Go catch up with the kids! I’ll bring your stuff upstairs.”

As usual, Alicia hesitated at Jack’s offer, looking him over as if he were three feet tall and made of fool’s gold.

“Thank you, Jack!” Maddie snatched the suitcase and coat from her sister’s arms and passed them off to Jack who quickly disappeared upstairs. She ushered Alicia into the living room with a, “Come, sit. It was a long flight. Would you like anything to drink? We have both red and white wine somewhere in the cabinets—oh, the white hasn’t been chilled.”

Danny sat rigid on the couch, the cushions suddenly feeling hard underneath him. His brain registered a vague pressure on his thighs, and he glanced down to see his hands gripping his legs. It was still strange to feel only pressure where his brain expected more, and he let his legs go. His arms fell awkwardly to his sides, and then he realized that Alicia was slow to sit down on the armchair, her eyes looking over him like he was some sort of alien at Area 51.

That wasn’t even a far comparison to make. He was the alien at Area 51. Only, instead of being located in the desert, Area 51 was his damn living room.

[mimihanyuu]

behind the scenes.

Tagged by @alienaiver thank u bestie!! These questions are so fun

Started writing; I started writing stories as a little kid, it was something I liked to do even in like, kindergarten. I loved to make up fairy tales, I loved cartoons and movies with plot, I loved to read. Once I found out I was actually pretty good at writing essays in like 7th or 8th grade, I immediately took creative writing at school when it was offered. It wad my fav class, my best friend took it with me and the teacher was a funny old grouchy guy who roasted us all the time. Plus it was a small class, so everyone got to read their work out loud and get workshopped. Since then I've always wanted to make storytelling in some form my career. I have a uh, thing. That I'm working on. It's a wip. It's called Stardancers and I want it to be like, a Netflix cartoon or something. It's heavily inspired by sailor moon and I'm so passionate about it bc I based my mc on myself so it ended up being a very cathartic story to plot out but I'm gonna shut up now and move in silence lol

Started blogging; 9th grade, ish. I started.....[sigh] don't judge but I started as a Glee, Harry Potter, and BBC Merlin fan blog. Then I watched Soul Eater, which led to Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood, which led to Fairy Tail and so on. I started writing on tumblr around 10th grade, but I didn't keep a blog specifically for writing until 2019 with butterflyestate, which I deactivated bc I got too many weird requests.

Followers; 13 haha. Ive deactivated and restarted so many times I don't even care anymore. I do that bc I get weird about the ~aesthetic~ of the blog and wanna start over idk why. I'm trying not to anymore.

Communication; I don't talk to many people on here anymore. I used to be very active in a couple of big social circles and had some bad falling outs in my teens and early 20s. Since then I've started pursuing irl friendships more, but I do enjoy talking to the friends I have on here! The funny thing is, when I was in high school it was ✨️weird✨️ for girls to like anime and reading comics/manga, so it was harder to make friends irl. I turned to tumblr, and I made so many friends, 0 of which I am still in touch with. I even got conned by my "best friend" who lived in my damn home for a year and a half. So I'm more cautious with friendships online recently. But I do have online friends and I do love them <3 and I do reply to ppl most days!

Likes; I am that weird person who's like "I hope [mutual] enjoys this meme" but it doesn't bother me if I don't get a lot of interaction I'm just here 2 goof off

Requests; when I had butterflyestate I was DROWNING in requests and most of them were hard-core nsfw so I deactivated. Since then I get very few. I don't mind.

Writing; being a teacher's assistant in kindergarten, I don't have much energy to write during the school year, but when I do I spit stuff out really quickly, unedited lol. I like writing angst best. Fluff is fun too. I can write nsfw headcanons but not actual stories bc I'm a weenie 😂 anyway. My main fandom is d gray man but I like to write for kimetsu no yaiba and black clover, too!

[teddybeartoji]

i have a questionnnnn

do you like video games?

and do you know baldur's gate 3 and final fantasy 7?

i got into those during my last vacations and idk why it never occurred to me to ask you even tho i am obsessed with astarion and sephiroth (it's always the white haired guys my taste is so predictable) and cloud but that's another thing

the characterization in both of those games is soooo good especially if you watch almost everything ff7 related like i did (takes a while though)

anyways i felt you could do them justice if you were to write about them, especially astarion. ngl i was very disappointed when i went on socials, as usual, to consume content about the media i just watched and i was very shocked in a bad way

not by the quality, there's just tons of thirst edits for example and while i agree his character is pretty and everything, it kinda hurt cuz it just went against his WHOLE character arc ... i was very disappointed with the fandom haha

same with sephiroth, though i didnt resent as much cuz his story isn't about the fact of being sexualized against his will

UGH I LOVE BOTH OF THEM SO MUCH. SORRY FOR THE RAMBLING -

anyways yeah i love media in general, series/movies/games you name it as long as there's a story or just one character that i rlly like i'll love it

so i was wondering what games you liked... or media in general at this point, except the movies you posted about

also no pressure but is there a system with asks? are they removed from your inbox if you answer them? are they automatically deleted after some time? just to know cuz i haven't gotten an answer to mine and i'm scared i might've said something bad! esp since i read badly your rules and didn't see a negation and maybe said smth about looking forward to a next part :') smh

HELLOO NONNIEE:3333 I LOVE VIDEO GAMESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but i have only heard abt baldur's gate and final fantasy sadly!!!! i have nothing against them they just don't necessarily seem my type of games.. BALDUR'S GATE CHARACTER CREATION SEEMS SO FUCKING FUN THOUGH OMFGGG

and i've definitely seen and heard a lot of astarion!!!!!!!!!! i've also seen some stuff abt him being really overly sexualized right????? his character seems so cool i would love to get to know him better wahh i really do wanna try baldur's gate one day!!!!!!! and unfortunately i only know sephiroth by name too:((( i'm sorry to disappoint u nonnie baby:(((

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH VIDEO GAMES I LIKEEEE!!!!! my all time favourite is definitely the last of us part 2!!!!!!!!!!!! i am on my like... sixth playthrough on that lmao i'm doing it on grounded so yk wish me luck!!!!! anywayy i ofc like the first one too but man.. the second one hits harder for me tbh. then i really fucking love ghost of tsushima, i'm actually replaying it rn too hehe.

honorable mentions go to rdr2, until dawn, the newest dead space remake, god of war, disco elysium, the resident evil games, assassin's creed (i know a lot of ppl don't like these all that much but idk i think they're really fun!! esp black flag and odyssey)(ok i am biased bc these were like my first games ever lmao), days gone (this is another that most think is rather lame but again.. i think it's really fucking fun i have nothing against it) aaaand death stranding!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! aaahh so many games damn i might've forgotten some but these are some that i really love!!!!!!!!!!!! i have played almost all of them multiple times too lmao that's crazy

for overall media i'd just give a lil shoutout to the 'mindhunter' series on netflix!!!!!!!!!!!!! i absolutely fucking looove that show!!!!!!!! i've seen that multiple times too i love the characters and just the way it's done overall!!!!!!!!! also 'manic' i think that's a netflix one too.. that's a really short one but idk it changed me okay i think it's fucking great

OMGG AND WAAAHHH TRUST THAT I STILL HAVE YOUR ASK!!! I AM JUST REALLY SLOW WITH ANSWERING THEM SO I AM VERY SORRY ABT THAT!!!!!!! and you definitely haven't crossed any lines either, so it's one hundred percent on me!!!!!!!!! the thing is that i get a bit overwhelmed when i have to answer things which sounds ridiculous bc I LOOOOVEEEE TALKING TO YOU GUYSSS my brain just sucks okay i'm sorry

[thevampirearchive]

Commentary on Interview With The Vampire - Episode 1 (Spoilers)

Shorter thoughts vers

Barely fully in and it already looks beautiful. Was the budget in the billions because this shit is so crisp, fuck!

Hannah Baker was out-fucking performed. TAPES RO HARRASS A DYING MAN WHO DIDNT USE YOUR VAMPIRE SECRET? Lestat would be so proud!

I am so happy this is the direction they chose — brining us to modern time, the only time I wanna hear about the pandemic in entertainment media. And all while humanity does, Louis is stuck in his high tower with some high tech ass Dubai apartment? Purr.

Nvm, Mans seem sick of it lmao. Stuck there in his own personal house-coffin (I’d still prefer a coffin, and I feel like Lestat would have never chosen a place penthouse. He’s too French for modern builds. “Louis? NO QUALITY WOODEN COFFIN?” He’d say, in a French accent, in disgust.

I am a whore for period piece and they’re taking us to 1910 AND New Orleans? Spoiled. We’ve been spoiled.

Gosh the vulgar language, I am shaking from excitement! Pls!

I know a lot of black folks hate it when they have the white say the n-word, but that ‘unhand me nigger’ comment killed me, that white man forgot where he was for a second

I too agree, anal without consent is against god (I screamed, the whores are funny)

Not Paul tryna play captain save a Ho, man’s brough a Bible Too — I love him.

THE BRAWL! And this whole time Lestat is watching like it’s forplay for later.

HE PULLED A SWORD ON HIS OWN BROTHER? That’s cold Lou, but I respect it, gotta do what you gotta do.

Lestat watching, BRICKED UP, and I cannot believe nobody’s falling in love like this ANYMORE. WE USED RO BE A SOCIETY! (How I imagine Lestat internally, as he watch his man pull a whole sword out of his Pimp 3000 Cain)

Pls not the disgusted faces on the white men watching Louis walk in!!! Fighting for their lives to not say sum — TRY IT :^b

The lines should have been “damn so they just letting anybody in” so I could have really lost it. His racism wasn’t racist enough — I predicted they’d make him a proper French (racist) but they didn’t drive it all the way, and I get why. Can’t have the protagonist calling the other protagonist a nigger after all (well I haven’t seen Ep. 2 so perhaps) but it would be accurate. I just don’t believe white ppl weren’t racist, even the DOCTOR was sliming it around and that’s the homie, y’a know?

Awww Lestat is like a tarot girlie after watching one Tiktok reading and suddenly she sees 11.11 everywhere. “Ah Louis?! I was heading to St. Louis? Hahah so you’re my saint haha”, Lestat pls you look desperate pls breath baby breath (same tho)

His French is so good!  Ça m’a pris par surprise! Qu’est-ce qu’il est français ou il est juste un bon acteur? I could Google it, but how else will I flex that I too, speak French. Lestat is actually my cousins neighbor, oui oui baguette.

LMAOOOO “that explains the attire” SHOTS FIRED. Man’s came for his whole fit, and Lestat laughed it off cuz he’s in love, wow.

Lestat is such a scorpio sun libra Mercury scorpio mars because who tells a story, LEANS FOR A SLUTTY KISS and continues with the same elegance? He’s such a slut, I love it!

The way he just had foreplay and the whole time Louis fighting for his life to not bust. Cuz what? Watching a man touch a woman that way with their gaze fixed on you only? He’s playing with you Lou! RUN (not to fast tho, make it clap as you go tihi)

Am I wrong for thinking Louis was not just mad that Lestat froze him but that he knows without much effort? He knows Louis a raging homosexual and it’s been what? Minutes? Pls!

“I’ve emptied a bank volt to sample” LESTAT! He’s a whore but I’m still shocked, I knew this BUT IM STILL SHCOKED!

He really saw Louis in the act for seconds and decided to not just stay but get a home, furnish it, get a wardrobe, ignore that it’s basically a red light district (sure there’s buisness but he comes off too french to ever accept to live near the sound of cheeks being clapped) JUST cuz Louis is there. When will it be me god?

“You are his destiny Louis”— istfg if I do not experience this soon I will combust. PlS!

The bidding war was so hot and then he placed his ring and I felt it in every fiber of my being. Can’t beleive Lilly didn’t say ‘just get y’a cocks out and let’s do it the proper way’ the way they were slinging

Louis’ idk if I wanna be him, beat him or fuck him moment was real, man’s was fighting gay thoughts with all his might (and looses, later)

His mind filled with just Lestat huh? So the gay thought’s won? I wonder if he tells Lestat that? If he does I think lestat’s head will grow too big for his hats.

Thé poker game was smooth and I love how Louis just went meh, and didn’t question the time freezing, the voice in his mind or the enormous compliment — you are worth more, king. Big ups.

Pls Not them having put and Louis bring smt to read, he’s such a weirdo bro we know you know he’s basically taking you out on dates and you love it! PUT THE BOOK DOWN AND FLIRT BACK *holds up a gun*

THE CINEMA! Such cultured lads! I love them. Out here watching while Lestat watching his snack, I MEAN HIS MAN, I MEAN HIS BUISNESS PARTNER

‘He’s not white he’s French’ — this is what all white Man’a whore tell themsleves. Didn’t I fucking predict they’d say that? Lmaoo I did!

NOT HIM CALLING HIS MOM MAMMA DU LAC! He’s tryna fit in and Paul fighting back from saying sum (not too hard tho cuz now he’s going in lmao GET HIM LIL BRO)

“What’s the nature of your relationship with my brother” All my mind can think off is ‘everybody knows… everybody knows that he fucks you’. Cuz why would he ask that? Clearly that’s your future brother in law AND PAUL KNEW! The voices told him he was amongst the gays tihi

Okay Lestat pls don’t trauma dump on Paul lmao, answer the question or politely ignore it cuz I feel like Paul has some ‘you’ve got the wrong time but the right bitch’-him and just swing cuz what? But I think he’s being pulled in so he couldn’t even move if he wanted to.

NOT LOUIS SETTING IT STREIGHT! Idk why I thought he’d be a pushover after all the dreamy stairs Lestat has given him:)

This is all I can imagine Lestat thinking as he dinned with black ppl probably for the first time ever — rich and educated at that.

Please! A Lilly for his front pocket and a Lilly for Louis to do nothing with but entertain him, tihi

Not her revealing he’s gay, girl, bffr. “It’s okay” this strange white man now knows too fucking much babes but whatever

THE ALMOST TOUCH! I had to close the screen sorry I am used to fluff only (no I am not, but that yanked me)

now he’s in his head, fucking his mind and eyes and watching him get hard for him cuz Lilly ain’t doing shit but be a buffer. A pretty buffer getting a taste of Lestats man FOR NOW! Good *gets closer to screen* IS THAT FINGER SUCKING? Even pulling away in disgust was not convincing babes, !BE WHO YOU ARE!

THE FIGHT FOR DOMINANCE! MY GOSH AND THE RELEASE! It’s like he was pretending before going full ‘yeah now after we’ve kissed and touched titties, you know I’m into it so let me chill’ and he went lax, and now they floating, fucking and sucking. Gosh, this better win an award.

No because I fully beleive being drank from by a vampire is the closest thing humans will ever get to experience true euphoria and that’s why I will not simply be turned immediately. MAKE ME YOUR BLOODBAG FOR AT LEAST SEVEN DAYS AND SEVEN NIGHTS PLS I need to feel the THRILL

That was the most romantic, tender yet agressive love making bloodsucking scene I’ve ever witnessed. I’m bricked up, down there and up here (holds heart)

The wedding! This about to be good cuz y’all know black ppl know how to celebrate!

ARGH THE MONEY TO HER DRESS! The diaspora is ALIVE!

Thé dancing! Arghhhh this show is so freaking black, I love it! Anne is probably rolling in her grave, arguing with Satan to be resurrected so she can sue. Love it here

THE THROWN MONEY! YAAAAAAAS! Y’all don’t understand! This how we really be!!!! Black folks RISE! This one’s for us!

Now they climbing a whole roof just to … see the sunset? Babes… bffr.

Awww “I love you-“ why did that sound like a Goodby! Where is HEGOING NO-

NOOOOOOOOOOOO

Noooooooo! I’m fenna cry, PLEASE NOT PAUL! (I knew he dies but I also forgot but I also was just enjoying myself and they caught me slipping. Now I’m pausing to take deep breaths…)

And that was his last sunrise? Yeah, cuz the fucking cameras.

Pls not death is boring… Speak for yourself, some of us have yet to try >:( ( but I’ll probably agree. It’s so inevitable like boo, give us smt fresh, smt unexpected!)

Not his mama tryna blame him… pushed? Babes be fucking Fr rn. Fuck sakes. And his sister not defending or nun. She probably wanted him gone and now she got it.

I just feel bad cuz suicide is a sin and still he did it :/ sad.

MANS PULLED UP TO THE FUNERAL! Lestat you are sick (I love it). PLEASE NOT HIM ACTUALLY NOT GAF! Didn’t even wear black, even tho I know that wardrobe fully stocked!

“Not here” Louis says and Lestat is on sims ‘I texted, I called, I send a pigeon and nothing, ignoring me huh?

THE GASP THAT LEFT ME! NO LESTAT YOU CANT SAY THAT AT THE WALK TO THE FUNERAL! All in attempt to ‘pick me, choose me, love me’ into Louis’ heart, now Louis ready to fist fight you in the same streets you fell for him tsk me tsk tsk. Maybe y’all should step to the side and kiss. Cuz clearly Lestat was NOT leaving …

This is the lvl of toxic and possessiveness I thought I’d see in twilight… y’all fooled me. Cuz Bella would have loved this ngl and I’d have loved it more but Edward is a runner and a track star. Lestat tho? He’d probably kill the whole town for Louis to notice him.

This man went to the burial, didn’t even wait for his obsessive fangirl behavior, AND he killed Lilly leaving nobody for Louis to turn to. Now man’s fighting for his life and all I’m wondering is why no other vampire in history has ever been this obsessive so I’d know this is how fucked up I am (derogatory) wow. Went to every fucking limits just so Louis wouldn’t know peace.

NOT THE CONFESSIONAL WITH THE PRIEST! Louis you don’t even beleive! It’s giving “Ariana! What are you doing here!”

Did Lestat not think of the priest? Tsktsk didn’t even eliminate all sources of outlet! Should have burnt the church, house, brothers and had every townsman flee just to get a text back. For legal reasons I am joking…

Nvm, he barely got into the juicy bits before man’s was dragged out and is now being devoured. (Kinda hot. Didn’t even let Louis finish)

At this point, whenever Louis doesn’t breath is Lestat direction it’s PICK ME CHOOSE ME LOVE ME. He’s so obsessive *plays obsessed by Mariah Carey*

All I see is Lestat being so angry and hurt that Louis went to confess to a god he does not beleive in before he came to Lestat. Like damn. You’d rather come here then come to me ? “Do I mean that little to you-“ type of hurt. :( Aww babes, he’s just afraid cuz once he comes to you, it’s over. That’s the beginning of a life he doesn’t beleive he can have and he’s want all of you … can’t be gay and black in these parts (time + place) I fear

Please not the stabbing! 😭 babes pls you know this man isn’t a regular man, he drank from you and you decided to never speak to him again for a reason.

Pls not the slowmo! It looks so fucking cool! Even when he eats ppl it’s so agressive and looks so painfull! Love messy eater vampires.

“I’m not the devil- but I can give you death-“ Pls why has nobody offered me this ?? It’s not fair! “I love you Louis, you are loved.” Nawl I’m fenna cry. (And I am crying)

Envious that this is not my character arch, I am stuck consuming it rather then being CONSUMED! He wanted to create an infinity Between them. Remove death AND life from the equation!

That was the most beautiful asking ever. The way their just :’) This is such a tender, romantic, loving moment. That moment was … beautiful. I have no words! I too forgot the barbaric scene (lmao as did Louis ofc)

AND THEN CAME THE NOD! THE KISS AND THE BITE! The way he kissed him, alone, I could tell he released all fears and pain he had in this life. Fear of loving a man, of being who he was, pain of being at fault for things — for his role as a pimp, him as a son, a brother to his brother, a provider for his family. The one who promised his father strength without truly ever wanting it but doing it because he was good at it. He was hurting so much and Lestat just liberated him (too bad Louis doenst realize this too is a prison, but with a nice view, unhinged love of your life and a future daughter, have fun)

That was perfect. The description of the transformation — THE HAARTBEATS! Gosh I wanna be able to have senses heightened this much! ImGAINE!

I am SCREAMING it was so quick! I’m a whore for varsity in transformations! Some vampires die and require burials. Some are dead for much longer! EVERYYING! EVERYTHING

This was dead ass the best vampire tv show I’ve ever seen. They gave me black ass moments and I am living! TENDERNESS, POSSESSION! OBSESSION, trauma, laughter, depth! Script was INCREIDBLE! These are really good writers! What a team! And the actors? Give those two their fucking awards RIGHT NOW!

I cannot believe we’re witnessing the best vampire show unfold right before us.

[evelili]

OKAY SO I JUST FINISHED ACT 3 AND HOLY SHIT I HAVE SO MANY FEELINGS AND THOUGHTS AND WORDS FAIL ME BECAUSE HOT DAMN MY BRAIN THINKS FASTER THAN IT CAN COMPREHEND A LOT OF THE TIME SO I'LL TRY MY BEST TO GET ALL MY THOUGHTS OUT. Fair warning, this might be very, very long. So for starters, the way Chapter 11 Started with memories which, at first didn't make it obvious we were seeing Sunset's Memories was done absolutely fantastically. Like, it was a wonderful build up cause at first I didn't even question it, but then the moment she broke in I realized it couldn't have been Twilight's, and then as the chapter progressed it was more and more clear and it was so wonderfully executed and knowing my guess was right as I read got me so pumped up to see where everything went. AND THEN WITH THE REVEAL OF CELESTIA REMOVING TWILIGHT'S MEMORIES OF ████ WAS SO WELL HANDLED! Like, I thought it was ████ at first, but then my own paranoia had me second guessing but then I was right and it was incredible and I was so curious to see what happened to her. AND THEN CHAPTER 12 INSTANTLY EXPLAINING IT AND GOING INTO DETAIL OF WHAT HAPPENED TO HER BROKE MY HEART! And just knowing that ████ is still gone (I have yet to finish the Epilogue so I dunno if that changes) hurts still! BUT THE WHOLE BUILD UP TO EVERYONE BECOMING FRIENDS AND USING HARMONY TO SAVE SUNSET AND THE WHOLE THING AND SORRY THE EXCITEMENT IS STILL RUSHING THROUGH ME!! Honest to god this has been such a wonderful thing to read, and apologies I cannot comprehend coherent words at the moment. But all and all, The Twilight Effect has been one of my favourite reads ever, and I look forward to giving you my (hopefully coherent) full thoughts after the epilogue!

so i may or may not have gone overboard and drawn smth for this that deserves to get its own post, pls look forward to that lol

also i guess this is spoilers? idc at this point, ill spoil the whole fic if it gets ppl interested in reading it lollll i wish tumblr had a spoiler filter like twt or smth, oh well

but yeh!! c11 is i think my fav chapter in the whole fic, i loveeee playing with concepts u can only do w the written word (kinda like pinkies chapter in a way) and its so fun to “plot twist” in a way that readers slowly figure whats happening before the characters do, so it’s like holding your breath waiting for them to finally figure it out xd

and c12 was the “big reveal”, which im still super happy how it turned out! i got to play w diff mediums for storytelling a bit w “whitespace” (technically black lol) and using a comic instead of written word, which was a lot of fun :D figuring out exactly what happened in the past between celestia, twi, nd Someone was always going to b the “climax” of c12, and it was such a relief to finally get there in the end, as well as figure out a way to “show, not tell” the whole thing to still make it interesting

im so glad it was an impactful finale! and ofc, thank u so much for reading and all ur lovely comments, i still have ur epilogue comment in my box that ill save to answer this weekend haha dw, im saving it close to my heart for now!

[jerrydevine]

1 3 6 11 13 25 😽😁

it may be 20 days late but i will tell you all the haterest things i have to say <3

1. the character everyone gets wrong: fucking holy shit every character on earth ? none of my non mutuals know anything about any character.. don't like how people talk about blaine. idk if you have noticed but i haven't posted abt him in so long bc there's no one on this website that knows how to talk about him. as a blaine girl i do not trust other blaine girls they're soooo weird about him.. hes a huge fucking loser like that's personality trait #1 i can't believe people try to make him all suave and sad about his past.. like that's kurt my friend kurt. blaine sucks!! oh ummmm also clary the only ppl i trust to talk about clary are beth and cassie herself 👍. i know people are wrong about jace im so sure of it just based solely on the comments of my jace amvs on youtube. but i kill them with my mind beams so i don't see them 💪 oh and also. straight women's idea of bucky barnes makes me murderous 😞

3. screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr: have still never gotten over endgame being a good use of it's time and the only good movie over 2 hours 🤦

6. which ship fans are the most annoying? gall/avich i want to kill them all with hammers. they made the writers bring mickey back just to fuck up ians character development for the rest of that damn show. they didn't even like eachother in the end 😐. do you know how sad it makes me that galla/vich freaks on twitter were so obnoxious they wrote ian losing that independence plotline they were gonna give him . and on that note i also hate mickey fans and yes this is sacrilegious i know he's everyone little meanie but i hate mickey too 🙄

11. number of fandom-related words you've filtered: 5 somehow only 5.. i used to have 7 filtered but i stopped filtering interview with a vampire tv stuff hehe. lots of them are game of thrones related i do not enjoy seeing those freaks 😐

13. worst blorboficiation: can i be honest and say magnus especially show magnus fans. they don't know his fucking history or his backstory they didn't read the tomes or do the work to really understand him.. he's best friends with tessa like you guys don't even know tessa or WILL and you're like omgggg magnus would soooo blow up a shadowhunter if they were annoying him haha he would never hang out with straight people he's soooo gay rights haha. it's not cassies fault she invented magnus in 2007 she didn't know what she was doing. don't blorbofy my best friend magnus bc you always do it wrong. ppl write him how blaine actually is. they flipped them in the mind 😒. and this is why i almost never want to read shadowhunters fic. oh also btw magnus would never want to live in edom forever anything where it's like ahh i could get used to a place like this :) . no he would not fucking say that he would kill himself a week in. and he wouldn't want alec to become a vampire that part of the show where alec wanted to become a vampire was a win for: Alma 😁! no one else. he would never say that. be real for one second

25. common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing: fucking anything about riverdale season 7 like it's not as good guys. they aren't getting out of the 50s . but it sucks to see it every day :( and complaining about people complaining about season 7 being not very good is gauche and tacky. keep to yourself sometimes i think so. the only person i wanna hear talk about riverdale season 7 is keren. while we're watching it together

[avettabendrot]

Somtimes I'm actually kinda fascinated :'D Even though I can't gpose with tools you know, there are still ppl who seem to like my screenshots ♥ This is actually such an honor ;w; I know I'm limited to poses and ideas but I try to make my best out of them :'D

Of course I'm not the pro like the moders out there ( haha Corb ♥ ) but I appreciate every damn like and reblog to my simple shots ♥ Much love and bread goes out to you who is reading this ♥ x3

oh edit: For those who still wonder....yes I remove the tail with photoshop XD

[demonsfate]

The biggest issue with this game is how you literally have to GUESS what the characters do next, and even if you guess, you have to react accordingly; otherwise, it's over. I seriously don't know how to counter Eddy sometimes. And people say apparently he only takes ONE button to do most of his strings. like are you kidding me. One beat me just now and doing god knows what. You can't even lab him unless you buy him. Absolute garbage. I will admit I one and done sometimes in Ranked but mostly because of this. You can't expect me to rematch when I got destroyed and lose SO many points. It's like the game rewards you less by winning and takes almost all the points you won before. Idk whose idea this was. It definitely incentivizes people to one and done, and I've read other comments that say the same thing. I only don't rematch on Quick Match if the skill gap is too big that i don't even learn anything. Also if the other is a toxic user or use a character that I can't deal with yet (so sorry I'm salty lmao)

Whenever you get matched with an Eddy, you usually watch him obliterate your character by mashing buttons like this. And YEAHHH, I have Eddy, and I do notice a lot of his strings consist of pressing ONE BUTTON, or damn near close to one button. It's actually crazy how easy his combos are. And it makes be terrified that all the DLC characters will be like this in a way to get people to buy / play them. I mean, look at the current most played characters rn - other than Dragunov, the rest are literally the brand new characters (Victor, Reina, and Azucena). You KNOW they made the brand new ones easy just to get people to play them. And I just have a feeling they're gonna take that approach with the DLC ones, too. Definitely feels like they've taken that approach with Eddy. As Eddy was always a bit cheese, but he feels like he's even MORE cheese in this game.

That is true, and a good point. When you mention it like that, I can understand WHY people would want to one & done if they feel like their points are being taken away at fast speeds. Like just a couple hours ago, I was playing with Alisa - and I got her close to orange ranks. But my gosh, when I started losing a lot more - I almost didn't want to rematch 'cos I just felt like all my progress was draining fast. ��

OH MY GOSH. That's one reason why I don't even bother with Quick Match anymore! It seems like I always get higher rank players that will ALWAYS demolish! And as I've said before on this blog, I'm fine with rematching ppl that are better than me to learn. But... when their skill is just SO GOOD that I can't even understand what's happening on the screen, then I just don't see the point because I don't see how I'm able to learn against that.

And no worries - I love playing this game, but it also makes me so so fucking salty, too! Sometimes I have to stop 'cos I can feel myself getting too angry at it lol! The good news is, I believe I am getting better at defense! My defense was at 34, now it's at 49! Plus, I was fighting against a Kazuya and Azucena, and barely either of them could grab me 'cos I was actually able to break their grabs almost every time!! I was pretty proud of myself for that haha. However... I still struggle to break King's grabs it seems...

[notgonnashutup]

Karaoke. Sang toxic ppl said I sounded good lol I couldn't hear but i believe. Danced, saw cute girl I chatted to. Also saw cute valley girl chat with my friends n sing nice. Saw some old friend. Pic with a werewolf lol, did arts and crafts at bar which was so nice oddly reminded me of being little at diners drawing with sister, played miss Pac man and street fighter won with Chun li once then lost lmao, played pinball. Smoked for first time and figures lol it just relaxed slightly and made me sleepy, so much secondhand for years maybe I'm resistant. Talked to some ppl and introduced myself, they came up and said hi to me what's ur name and I got rhe vibe those guys maybe liked me or wanted to befriend so I must've seemed nice and friendly and chill and open so that's nice, girl we met as friend said I seemed fun to party with and nice and cool clothes even tho I was being cute like lazy kpop but not dressy like I Can Be so it felt nice, she said I looked like blondie. Just felt nice I can go to a bar and be relaxed and myself and open and friendly and connect to people and the place and crowd. A long way from the night I went there once anxious as exposure therapy lmao just to force myself to talk to ppl. The bar also reminds me of the bronze lmao. I danced too, sat and chilled with friends and drew. While I was sitting with friends a cute guy walked by in maybe a white shirt and tan overcoat, almost looked dressy but it could've been just idk business casual but good fitting or just bright colored. He had short black hair like idk 3-4 inches long in that typical handsome guy haircut and I stared at him and watched as he walked lol and right before he went up stairs he looked my way and smiled like maybe he'd noticed me openly staring. And idk if he saw me but that's maybe the least I cared if I looked at someone cute bravely lol. When he looked back at me smiling I actually met his eyes and kept looking back maybe smiling back I hope haha. But usually I used to look away terrified and feeling intense when cute ppl would look back. With him I actually looked though, then he went up the stairs. I wonder if he was looking at me or someone else, my ego and flattery would like to think he looked at Me and smiled tho. I wonder if I'll run into him again.

Also lots of nice ppl there today. Ppl I could be friends with, pretty warm people. Also I'm so bi lmao I usually don't think of girls much but within a couple hours I saw more cute girls than I see Online. Maybe its cause my taste is different then current influencer online hot but I was drowning in seeing lots of hot girls I was contemplating walking over and saying my shot to lol like "hey I'm mejo what's your name, wanna hang out sometime" ToT. Even the valley girl, even tho I don't usually like that, cause damn she was cute and her smile was cute. And the bar was filled with queer vibes so I felt like hey maybe the cute men wearing makeup with long hair I had a shot with if I maybe went and complimented, maybe since the lesbian couple came up and asked if they recognized me lol then it'd be okay for me to to flirt with somebody. I didn't go flirt tho. A little scared and it's not like I needed to. I was slightly standoffish with men who came up tho, despite my openness, just cause I didn't wanna be hit on. I guess maybe I'm still scared to deal with it. But I know i want to open up and jump in

Me and friend did tarot reading prior. It was all about myself and my brain and selves I guess. Insightful. I'm thinking maybe I need to comfort myself more and be supportive and gentle and forgiving and cuddle myself more Normally. Maybe the panic attack me is the self lashing out at not getting those things so much it hits a boiling point of needing to lash out desperate to finally get treated right. It's a part of me lashing out, as if I'm not getting enough of those self kindness things. Likewise I'm wondering if my nightmares I should try being kind to the murderer, or forgiving myself in the dream for not catching them, or letting myself in my dreams stop doing the jobs/anxious tasks I'm doing. Maybe my brain is showing my selves ignoring each other, instead of taking care of and embracing helping each other. Maybe that's why they're happening. Mm

[drwcn]

“Discordance” Chapter 7 Updated! 

[Read on AO3] or below the under cut! :) 

It is brighter than usual when he rolls over in bed and grumbles into his pillow. Wei Wuxian pulls the edge of his blanket closer to his chin and wiggles a little in the warm cocoon he has wrapped around himself. Unwilling to subject himself to the reality of daytime just yet, he breathes in the calming sandalwood scent lingering on his pillow and sighs in contentment.

Wait.

He blinks awake, brows furrowing as the cogs and wheels in his mind begin to grind against the heaviness of sleep. Though sandalwood is a rather common incense used by Cloud Recesses, Zewu-jun prefers aloeswood.

Wei Wuxian opens his eyes fully, turns over onto his back, and stares at an unfamiliar ceiling.

Where…where the hell am I?

This isn't Hanshi.

…

…This is Jingshi.

Jingshi?!

"Shit!' He shoots up, twisting this way and that as he takes in his surrounding. There, over by the center vestibule is Lan Wangji's writing desk. Scrolls painted by his preferred artist from the previous dynasty hang along the wall on the opposite side of the room. By its side is Wangji, Lan Zhan's guqin.

Fuck.

Definitely Jingshi.

"Lan Zhan?!" Wei Wuxian calls out, but receives no response.

How did I end up here? What happened last night?

His hand shoots to the front of his chest and he is relieved to find that he still has all his clothes on. Only his shoes are removed. Phew. Alright, so that means nothing nefarious happened, but gods, judging by the height of the sun it must be way past sunrise. People would be looking for him soon. In fact he is pretty sure he is supposed to meet with Uncle after breakfast to discuss - to discuss - gods he can't remember. If anyone catches him in Jingshi like this, in Lan Wangji’s bed no less -

- oh he is dead, dead!

The sheer gossip would be enough to kill him.

"Fucking hell," Wei Wuxian curses under his breath, pulling on his boots and trying to comprehend why he has such a headache.

It is almost as though he is hungover -

Hungover.

Emperor's Smile.

Oh, that's right -

 ~~~

 "Er-gongzi's birthday?"

It is on the return journey from their gruelling, two-week long night hunt that Wei Wuxian learns of this news from his senior disciples. They are about a day's trip away from Cloud Recesses, and due to exhaustion, have collectively decided to stay the night at a comfortable inn rather than camping out in the outdoors like they were forced to do during the most intense interlude of their hunt.

Ever thrifty, Wei Wuxian has planned well for their trip and so their funds are in excess. The team, composed of five senior disciples and two of their most-well trained juniors, are sent on a semi-classified mission by Zewu-jun and the Elders to investigate strange sightings reported by subsidiary clans in their border lands.

"You are not to speak of this to anyone outside of those in-the-know, understand?" Commanded Wei Wuxian when he rounded up his charges at the end of their hunt, standing over the remains of fierce corpses littering the forest floor.

"Understood, Wei-jun."

They've done well, and Wei Wuxian is all about rewarding where rewards are due. Tonight would be their last night out before returning home, so he orders a round of hearty dinner for their group of eight. Three of the disciples just about cry when Wei Wuxian takes pity on their stomachs and orders them chicken AND pork. They aren't within the confines of Cloud Recesses, so technically speaking, they are allowed to eat meat.

As their food is served, one of the seniors scoops a large spoonful of braised pork into his bowl of rice and says, "I was complaining initially that we'd miss Hanguang-jun's birthday and therefore possibly the best meal of the year, but this more than makes up for it."

His friends hum in agreement, but the conversation lulls as they dig hungrily into their own bowls.

Wei Wuxian, however, is more interested in this tidbit than eating. "It's Lan Z…er'di's birthday?"

"Yeah, three days ago," says a junior, carelessly violating the 'silence while eating' rule. "Tang-shen'er in the kitchen used to be Er-gongzi’s nanny, or wet nurse - uh, something like that - and she always makes the best dishes on his birthday. Of course, everyone at Cloud Recesses eats the same thing, so naturally, we all benefit." (note: Tang-shen'er = auntie Tang. The difference between shen and yi is that shen = wife of a younger uncle, yi = mother’s sister. They are both ways to say auntie.)

The boy grins, biting down into a honeyed chicken thigh. "But thank you for indulging us, Wei-jun. I haven't had meat in months."

Wei Wuxian nods, "I see…"

He feels wrong-footed. Lan Wangji is arguably his best friend since coming to Cloud Recesses, his companion, his confidant, his person. That he didn’t even prepare a gift of some kind, or a well-wishing message, or even had knowledge of his birth date is downright criminal. He estimates that Lan Zhan, the good, hardworking Lan-er-gongzi, probably doesn’t even notice his own birthday coming and going each year. The Lans are notoriously austere in this way.

Normally, Wei Wuxian would be confident that Lan Xichen would dote on his little brother, but even that's not guaranteed this year since Zewu-jun became embroiled in this nasty fierce corpse business. Uncle Qiren on the other hand hardly seems like the type to be celebratory and indulgent, which is probably why the kitchen cook of all people is remembered by the disciples as the one person who makes an occasion of it.

This is absolutely unacceptable.

Wei Wuxian sighs, something twisting unpleasantly in his stomach. Lan Zhan ought to be the happiest on his birthday; he is the best of people, and if anyone deserves it, he does. The little fuddy-duddy probably thinks nothing of it, that’s just the kind of person he is, but as his self-appointed bestfriend, Wei Wuxian cannot in good conscience let it go. It is a faux-pas that must be corrected upon his return.

His gut response, true to his Yunmeng upbringing, is to sneak some alcohol into Cloud Recesses for a little bit of private celebration. Sadly, alcohol is still forbidden, and it doesn’t seem like the kind of thing Lan Zhan would go for.

"Zhanggui'de," Wei Wuxian waves down the innkeeper. "What non-alcoholic beverages are available and popular at your establishment. Surely not all customers order alcohol.”

"Ah, yes sir, quite right sir. Plum cider is an extremely popular drink in this region, especially in the winter. Would you and your party like to try some?" 

Plum cider? Hmm, excellent!

Wei Wuxian pays for enough to go around the table, using his disciples as unwitting test subjects. The taste of it is tangy and tart on his tongue, but it goes down smooth and leaves a pleasant aftertaste. Not bad indeed. The disciples think so too.

This is perhaps as close to plum wine as any of them is going to get.

A plan formulates in his mind. Wei Wuxian nods happily at another round of thanks he receives from the disciples and begins plotting. That night, while the disciples sleep off their weariness, Wei Wuxian gets down to work. The next morning, he leads the team home.

They arrive at Cloud Recesses a bit before dinner. Lan Xichen is away on another meeting with Jiang Fengmian and Nie Mingjue, thus leaving Wei Wuxian to report the findings of the night hunt to Lan Qiren. Lan Wangji is present as well, much to his delight.

"All went as expected?" The Second Jade of Lan inquires quietly upon seeing him, which is as verbal as he would ever get with his well-wishes. It is the equivalent to a good-to-see-you hug that Wei Wuxian is used to receive from Jiang Cheng. 

"Not quite," replies Wei Wuxian, but he grins nonetheless. "But I'm back now."

He is positively giddy with anticipation for what he has planned, but first, business.

"We tracked the fierce corpses into Lanling's territory, along its southern most region where our jurisdiction crosses that of the Jins and the Wens. That was where we encountered a group of patrolling Wen disciples." Wei Wuxian gestures at the map laid out on Uncle's desk. "They were led by Wen-zongzhu's second in command, his shidi, Wen Zhuliu -"

Lan Qiren frowns at the name, his gaze sliding surreptitious to Lan Wangji, an odd reaction which only Wei Wuxian catches.

"You know of him, Uncle?"

Lan Qiren clears his throat and shakes his head. "No, but I’ve heard of him some years ago."

Wei Wuxian gets a strange sense that the usually no-nonsense man is not entirely the truth. Lan Wangji does not seem to notice.

"What happened next?"

"He did not offer assistance but assured us that any issues within Qishan's territory would be dealt with by Qishan Wen and requires no further interference from external forces."

Lan Qiren considers this silently, stroking his beard. "Yes, their land is vast and has supervisory offices set up throughout their territory. Qishan Wen's disciples are diligent and trained. If the fierce corpses escaped into their land, we do not need to worry. Wen-zongzhu is a sensible man; he would deal with it accordingly."

"Is Wen-zongzhu still reluctant to join forces with xiongzhang, Nie-zongzhu and Jiang-zongzhu?" Lan Wangji inquires, his suppressed frustration leeching into his speech.

Over the last couple of months, he had witnessed how his brother slaved over this issue which grew by the day. That there are still sect leaders out there able to sit back and watch Lanling's ambition unfold is unfathomable. Truthfully speaking, Lan Wangji can admit to himself that he does not have the best head for politics, but the inaction of others on an issue the solution to which seems obvious to him often elicits feelings of frustration he cannot temper.

Wei Wuxian lays a firm, reassuring hand on his shoulder. "Jiang-shushu often told us that the Wens are physicians first and cultivators second. They do not concern themselves with the politics of others. Wen Zhuliu may have been curt, but not unkind."  

Qishan Wen are a private people, and the man who leads the sect - Wen Ruotian – is in possession of a clear mind and a level head. Under him, Qishan is stable and prosperous and able to withstand pressures from outside forces, especially that of the Chief Cultivator Jin Guangshan. Wen Ruotian has two children, his heir Wen Ning, and an elder daughter Wen Qing, neither of whom Wei Wuxian has ever seen in person. Wen Qing is younger than his shijie but older than Jiang Cheng and himself, so even when she had come to Cloud Recesses to study, they did not have occasion to meet. Wen Ning is younger still than all of them, and has never been known to leave Nevernight.

Lan Qiren folds his hands behind his back. "You did well, Wuxian. I will relay this information to Xichen. Unfortunately, he has gone out to meet with Sect Master Nie. He might return later tonight or early tomorrow. Rest now. You've been gone for days. We'll see you at dinner."

“Yes, shufu.”

Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji bow, sensing that they are being dismissed. Together, they make their way out of their uncle's study.

"Hey, Lan Zhan -" Wei Wuxian whispers under his breath, tugging on Lan Wangji's sleeve furtively just as Lan Qiren suddenly remembers something else and calls out to him,

"Oh, Wuxian, I meant to ask -"

Wei Wuxian drops Lan Wangji's sleeve immediately and spins around too quickly with too bright a smile. "Yes Uncle."

What are you doing? Don't act suspicious, you weren't doing anything wrong!

Then why is his heart pounding so fast, like a child whose hand is caught in the pastry jar.

Thankfully, Lan Qiren does not seem to notice. Rather, he clears his throat, a sign that he is feeling somewhat awkward at what he is about to say. "I don't mean to pry, but as your elder it is my responsibility to ensure that you and Xichen are well. You are…well, yes? I know Xichen isn't often home, given how things have been, but things are going…amiably for you two, yes?"

What Lan Qiren is really trying to ask - and what Wei Wuxian is mortified to realize - is whether he and his husband are having an amorous marriage, to which the answer is no, absolutely not. Lan Xichen has not so much as attempted to kiss him since their wedding night. It's been terribly disappointing - not to mention a blow to his confidence.

But it's not like Wei Wuxian can very well tell Lan Qiren that Lan Xichen is treating him like a trophy husband in the sense that he is literally left to collect dust on the shelf.

"Everything is great, Uncle, please don't worry. There's no concern. Zewu-jun - ah, Xichen - is very kind to me, very caring."

Behind him, he can feel Lan Wangji's eyes boring into his head. Wei Wuxian maintains his smile. This isn't lying, not at all. Lan Xichen is indeed very kind to him, always courteous, always gentle. He just keeps him at arm's length, even when they lie right next to each other at night. 

Lan Qiren, however, seems satisfied with his response. "Good. Good."

Wei Wuxian bows again and quickly makes his escape before Uncle could think to ask any more uncomfortable questions.

Lan Wangji, who is aware of his situation, waits until they are both way out of earshot before stealing a glance his way. "Wei Ying…"

"Don't start, Lan Zhan, not today." Wei Wuxian shakes his head. "I'll be fine. Besides, I've got a surprise for you."

"A surprise?"

"Um hm!" Wei Wuxian smiles brightly, pushing all negative thoughts aside. "Don't eat too much at dinner. Knowing you, you probably won't, but… leave some space for later, alright?"

Lan Wangji frowns in confusion, "But why?"

"You'll see."

 ~~~

 Truth be told, Wei Wuxian is exhausted. He'd been up most nights the last two weeks keeping the disciples safe, and when everyone else rested last night, he had spent his time preparing Lan Wangji's surprise, which he really hopes his friend likes.

After dinner, Wei Wuxian makes his way towards Jingshi, a lightness in his steps and anticipation fluttering in his chest. Lan Wangji is waiting for him on the front porch, watching the snow that has just begun to fall again. Sesame and Coconut (Zhima and Yezi) - the two bunnies Wei Wuxian rescued before New Years lie curled up in his lap. The black one, Sesame, is currently having his fur stroked and is having the time of his life.

Wei Wuxian pauses at the gate of Jingshi to admire the view for a moment (it's not weird to admire your brother-in-law). Lan Wangji truly lives up to his name, as beautiful and elegant and pure as jade.

As if sensing his gaze, Lan Wangji looks up and offers a quiet greeting, "Wei Ying."

"Lan Zhan!" Wei Wuxian hurries his steps and trots up to his friend and brother-in-law, depositing three individually wrapped packages in front of him before taking a seat on the veranda. "Sorry, did you have to wait long? I came as quickly as I could, but an elder wanted to talk to me about the night hunt."

Lan Wangji passes the dosing white bunny Yezi to him and says, "No matter. For Wei Ying, I'll wait."

Wei Wuxian laughs, lifting Yezi to nuzzle against his soft fur and earning him an affectionate sniff from the sleepy creature. Lan Zhan is such a funny odd man. An absolute treasure.

"I hear you have a title now. What did the Elders pick as your ‘hao’?"

"Hanguang."

"Han. Guang. Hanguang-jun. The light bearer. Hm, apt, very apt indeed. Lan Zhan is good and righteous, our very own light bearer, the pride of all Gusu Lan." Wei Wuxian reaches out with one hand and pats the other man on the head, half in jest.

"Wei Ying. I am not a child." Lan Wangji pouts in response, much to Wei Wuxian's delight. He is almost too easy to tease.

"No? But A-Zhan is my xiao-shuzi, my husband's baby brother."

"I am older than you are."

"Only by a couple of months. And besides, what is the old saying again? 长兄如父，长嫂如母. Oldest brother is like father, oldest sister-in-law is like mother; well, as your oldest brother-in-law, technically I am your elder!"

His words only cause Lan Wangji's glower to intensify.

Wei Wuxian laughs delightedly some more. "Aiyo, alright, alright! I take it back; I take it back!"

Despite his rascal ways, Wei Wuxian has never been much of an accomplished liar and cannot hold up his pretense for long, especially when the subject of his teasing is glaring at him with such an adorable pout. (The back of his mind gives a rattle of alarm, wondering when has he begun to think of Lan Wangji, this stubborn boring fuddy-duddy, as adorable. However, he does have long to dwell on that thought before his conscious mind gives it a firm shove back into the subconscious, or at the least, stalling it in the mental space of procrastination, to be pondered upon later.)

"Hm." Lan Wangji lets out an aggrieved huff and turns away from him.

Wei Wuxian softens, leaning forward to put a hand on his friend’s shoulder. "Lan Zhan, all kidding aside, I am glad for you… and proud of you too, if I may be so bold as to assume that I have earned the right to be. Hanguang suits you well. And…I do mean it honestly, Lan Zhan, you are the best of us."

Warm eyes flick up to look at him in surprise, and Wei Wuxian smiles in return. He does not understand those who think Lan Wangji cold and unexpressive. Sure, he may not say very much, but this idiosyncrasy does not make him unfeeling. Even from the early days, Wei Wuxian could tell that Lan Wangji is in fact very opinionated, and everything he does not put to words are expressed with those lovely, almond-shaped eyes. Wei Wuxian cannot claim to be able as adept at reading him as his brother Lan Xichen, but he has grown to appreciate this strange but wonderful man more and more with each passing day.

Life at Cloud Recesses is not what he thought it would be, it's true, and if he says that he doesn’t have regrets, he would be lying. Yet, for all that things have not turned out the way he had hoped, and all that his marriage is not what he dreamed for himself, Wei Wuxian cannot regret that Lan Wangji is now a part of his life. As it is, he can hardly imagine his days without his Lan Zhan and knowing this about him scares him more than he cares to admit. That he now refers to Lan Wangji as "his Lan Zhan" in his mind...well, he doesn't think too hard about that either. 

"I mean it, Lan Zhan. Your brother is tremendously proud of you, and I know there is no one he would rather have succeed him than you.”    

"Thank you, Wei Ying." Ears tinged pink, Lan Wangji averts his eyes and brings his gaze down towards the packages set between them.

Wei Wuxian drags himself out of his melancholy and changes the topic because he can do something he can't take back. "Well, are you going to open it or just stare at it?"

"What is in these?" Lan Wangji tilts his head curiously. There is something about him in moments like these, relaxed, unguarded, and young, that evokes an unspeakable urge inside Wei Wuxian to make him smile.

His treacherous heart gives a little jump. "Why don't you open them and find out?" 

The tips of Lan Wangji's ears darken even more, if that’s even possible. Carefully he unwraps the packages, revealing three different kinds of osthamus pastries. “Wei Ying…”

“I would have made these myself, but I have been told by various disciples that what I make is utterly inedible and close to torture. I know they cannot replace your mother’s osthamus cakes, but I hope you like them.”

Wei Wuxian pushes the first package closer towards him and says, “These are from the town we went to for the night-hunt. There is this little old granny with a pastry stall right outside the inn where we stayed, and she sold these 桂花千层酥 (puff pastry with osthamus filling). Gosh are they good, flaky, and not too sweet. And then I remembered Yunmeng has our own osthamus cake - 藕粉桂花糖糕 - made with lotus root paste -"

" - You went to Yunmeng?"

"Huh?" Wei Wuxia blinks, then chuckles nervously with a sheepish scratch of his head. "No, but I sent courier to Lotus Pier last night, and Jiang Cheng had our fastest disciple deliver fresh ones to Caiyi Town just before dinner." He grins, waving his hand carelessly and dismissing the fact that he had used his sect connections for the sole purpose of expediating food delivery to Lan Zhan from across their regions. "Anyways, speaking of Caiyi town - of course, I couldn't forget your personal favourite, the traditional osthamus cake that Zewu-jun says you only allow yourself to have on special occasions.”

Lan Wangji takes a breath, a Lan precept already on the tip of his tongue. "One must not overly -"

"- indulge, yes, I know, I know, but this isn’t over-indulgence, it’s a special occasion! One only turns twenty once! Now you are truly an adult! " Wei Wuxian picks up a piece of the flakey osthamus cake and holds it out. "Have a taste!"

What happens next should have alarmed both of them, but Wei Wuxian only looks on with joyous anticipation as Lan Wangji leans forward and takes a delicate bite of the cake straight from his hand. Dark lashes flutter close against pale cheeks as he savours the taste quietly, giving in to this one moment of indulgence.

Wei Wuxian does not realize he has been holding his breath until he opens his mouth to speak again. "Is it - is it good?"

"Mn."

"You got a -" He hesitates, one hand hovering in the air, as he aborted the urge to go any further. "Uhm, you've got -"

Realizing his intention, Lan Wangji subtly swipes at the corner of his lips with the tip of his tongue, attempting to get rid of some of the sugar clinging there.

"It's still - uhm - here let me -"

It's not that he doesn’t know that if anyone were to walk in now, this would look very bad indeed, but it is as though some vicious force has possessed and overtaken his self-control. Wei Wuxian reaches out and brushes the sugar crumbs from the corner of Lan Wangji's mouth with his thumb, stroking his bottom lip in the process.   

Lan Wangji's eyes widen in shock, but he does not pull away.  Instead, he holds still and allows Wei Wuxian to finish.

"There. All decent."

Decent? A voice that sounds suspiciously like Jiang Cheng comments in his head. Is there actually anything decent about what you just did?

"Wei Ying.…” A warm hand catches his own.

Wei Wuxian lets him. “Happy birthday, Lan Zhan.”

Wei Wuxian! This time, the voice belongs to Madam Yu. This is your xiao-shuzi! What are you doing?! 

He pulls away. “Ah, right then! Onto part two!”

He pretends he doesn’t hear Lan Wangji sigh.

“There is…part two?”

"Well, of course! Everything comes in threes. You didn't think I was going to slack off on your birthday, did you?"

From the depth of his qiankun pouch, Wei Wuxian pulls out two ceramic jars. "Shh, don't tell Uncle."

"Alcohol is forbidden." Lan Wangji frowns.

"This isn't alcohol. It's plum cider," explains Wei Wuxian as spiritual energy flows from his fingertips, golden light coalescing into runes and talismans in thin air, wrapping around the shiny brown ceramic in his hand. Within seconds, gentle steam begins to ascend from the rim, carrying with it the fruity aroma of the beverage within. "Hmm, doesn't that smell lovely, Lan Zhan? I know nothing beats our Emperor’s Smile, but this is very delicious as well. No alcohol, I promise.”

"But what’s that one.” Lan Wangji points to the white ceramic jar that Wei Wuxian purposely neglects to explain.

"Ah…haha yes.” Wei Wuxian pushes the white jar behind him, attempting to protect it. “Alright, you caught me. This one is Emperor's Smile. I …couldn't resist. You won't tell, will you?”

There is at least 50% chance that Lan Wangji will spoil this night and make him copy lines. He is the disciplinary officer of Cloud Recesses after all. But even if Lan Wangji opts to punish him for breaking the rules, Wei Wuxian would not change any part of his current plan. It’s Lan Wangji’s birthday, and for just this night, they should be able to have to a good time. And if that means Wei Wuxian gets planked in the morning for it…well, so be it.

 Lan Wangji lets out a sign of resignation. “Just this once.”

He picks up the warmed bottle of cider just as Wei Wuxian pop open the cork of his Emperor's Smile. Two ceramic jars clink quietly in celebration. 

Worth it indeed.

 ~~~

 Wei Wuxian smacks himself on the forehead.

Emperor’s Smile! Fuck me!

So he may have drunk more than he should last night. But it really wasn’t his fault. He only had one jar. One! Back in the days, one jar could hardly get him started, but he hasn’t drunk a single drop of anything remotely alcoholic in almost a year, except on his wedding day when he was tipsy at best. Even before coming to Cloud Recesses, Madam Yu had banned alcohol for him, insisting that it was “practice” for when he eventually marries into the Lan family.

Man, living with the Lans is seriously making me lose my edge.

What happened after we started drinking?

Right, he had set off the firework talisman – the product of his all-nighter. The talisman was designed to ignite lights like dancing firebugs and butterflies, lingering in the snow-covered garden as though it were the height of summer. Everything had worked out perfectly. Lan Zhan had smiled…

Good…good he liked it.

But what happened next?!

Wei Wuxian wracks his brain, but he just can’t recall the details. He hadn’t slept properly in almost a week, constantly on the look out for danger and keeping the disciples safe. And on their last night out, he stayed up till dawn working on the firework talisman. Then he had made the brilliant decision to drink…

Of course he was gonna get fucked up! He should have anticipated this!

Fuck’s sake, what does it matter now? The rice is cooked. I need to find Lan Zhan and ask him –

Because for him to end up in Lan Wangji’s bed, under the covers, boots off, tucked in, means someone had to haul his dead-ass into Jingshi and put him there. It’s probably Lan Zhan, which is fine, because you know, they’re friends, and this doesn’t have to be a big deal. Alright so he got drunk, which means he might be sentenced to some unpleasant disciplinary action, but he’s a big boy, he can deal with it –

Wei Wuxian heads to the door of Jingshi, ready to flee from the scene of the crime. No - not scene of the crime – because there was no crime. He merely slept over. It was an accident! Nothing happened between him and Lan Zhan, nothing at all –

It’s not like they slept together in the same bed – I mean – it’s not like they shared a bed. No, Lan Wangji would never do that.

But if I slept here…where did Lan Zhan sleep? This is his residence, where – where could he go? Did he…did he…sleep next to me?

I have to get out of here.

Wei Wuxian yanks open the doors and runs headfirst into Lan Xichen.

Lan Xichen.

Zewu-jun. The Sect Master of Gusu Lan.

His lord and husband.

Shit.

“Zewu-jun!” Wei Wuxian feels a rock drop to the pit of his stomach. “It’s not – it’s not what it looks like! I didn’t – last night – I – “

But Lan Xichen is smiling. He holds up a calming hand. “Wuxian, it’s alright. Wangji already told me everything.”

Behind his shoulder, Wei Wuxian catches sight of Lan Wangji standing there.

“He…told you?”

“Yes.” Lan Xichen walks into Jingshi as if nothing is wrong. “Alcohol is forbidden in Cloud Recesses but seeing that you did it in spirit of celebrating Wangji’s birthday, I’ll let it slide this one time.” Then, inexplicably, he winks. “Just don’t tell Uncle.”

“O-Oh, yes, thank…thank you Zewu-jun. I…ah,” Wei Wuxian scratches the column of his nose, feeling so thrown by the turn of events that it seems almost like an out-of-body experience. “I may have imbibed a little too much. I…I fell asleep. Sorry, Lan Zhan –”

Shit!

Nobody calls Lan Wangji ‘Lan Zhan’, and up until this point, Wei Wuxian has taken care to always refer to him as ‘er-di’ or ‘Wangji’ in front of other people and especially in front of Uncle and Lan Xichen. 

Lan Wangji too, tenses at the familiarity of Wei Wuxian’s address.

Yet, Lan Xichen merely chuckles. “Well, I’ll say. Emperor’s Smile is a very strong liquor indeed. Drink more cautiously next time yes? Or else, my poor little brother will have to sleep on the floor again.”

Wei Wuxian's blush intensifies. So Lan Zhan slept in the same room, but not on the bed. Thank the sky and the earth…   

“You know, I’m so pleased that you two have gotten along so well.” Lan Xichen continues to say. “It’s about high time that Wangji makes some friends his age.”

“Xiongzhang.”

“Fine, fine, I won’t tease.”

Wei Wuxian tries not to gawk. Everyone knows the Twins Jades are close and that Lan Xichen’s brotherly affection for Lan Wangji can only be rivalled by Nie Mingjue’s tolerance (read: indulgence) for Nie Huaisang’s plethora of shenanigans. But even so, Wei Wuxian could not believe the man could react so nonchalantly to his own husband waking up in his little brother’s bed.

Though perhaps…perhaps it’s not so much that Lan Xichen overly trusts and indulges his little brother, but rather that he doesn’t care at all for the man who is his husband.

Ones simply does not become jealous over something that does not matter to oneself.

The thought makes him cold.

“It’s good that you are both here,” Lan Xichen gestures for them to take a seat around the writing desk. “We have much to discuss. Jin Guangshan has finally revealed his ambition.”

The world is big, and Wei Wuxian is just one man. One boy really. That Lan Xichen has other priorities should not surprise him. He is small compared to all that Sect Leader Lan carries on his shoulders.

“Zewu-jun, is it really… the Yin Iron?”

Lan Xichen nods solemnly.

If he cannot earn his husband's affections, then he will have to settle with being useful. Wei Wuxian can do that. He can be useful, and that starts with tucking away his childish hurt. “How can we help?”

Lan Wangji’s eyes linger on him.

He does not see.