#aromantic alexithymia culture

[aro-culture-is]

Aro culture is wanting to scream at your friend to just dump their hateful racist asshole boyfriend, while at the same time knowing that they won't listen to you because they are in love and apparently, that erases their ability for critical thinking

While also not saying any of that because it would be rude

A "hateful racist asshole boyfriend" sounds ripe for a situation in which your friend could be dating someone actively grooming them for domestic abuse.

In those cases, individuals often already have poor boundary control, and it's not the critical thinking actually missing: it's the security that creating boundaries doesn't mean losing someone who they feel cares about them. Judgements on their ability to "think clearly" are both misplaced and encouraged by the abusers, as worsening self esteem leads to an abuse victim seeking comfort... often from the abuser.

I think it's very, very important to recognize that the best thing you can do for them is to be there, continually reaffirm that they can always tell you anything, and rather than pressure them to break up... ask them to tell you about the relationship. You can guide them to red flags, but also try to present possible communication elements. There are guides online by great resources talking about how to best support these conversations.

And, of course, it's always possible it is simply that your friend actually is racist and they put up with the behavior because of that. It's not hard for some bigots to find an in through less overt bigotry. But I strongly encourage folks to realize that "in love with no capacity for critical thought" is a very dangerous warning sign that someone may be unable to recognize healthy boundaries, and worse - to recognize unhealthy boundaries.

[donniesexceptionalmind]

Ok so i'm a straight AroAce but how do we actually know we're AroAce ?

Like, what if i am simply straight and it's just that me being autistic make it diffucult for my ways of expressing love and attraction toward girls fits into what society call "romance" and "attraction"

Who says what's romantic and what not anyway ? I'm still AroAce (?) Since i lack both things but sometimes i wonder "maybe it's just society that decided which is which".

You understand me ?

If i seemed to say anything that's disrespectful towerds AroAce or autistic people i apologize, i really didn't mean to. I'm on your side anyway boys and girls.

-star Anon ⭐

I understand you very well, Star Anon!

Did you know that autistic people are most likely to be queer? [📃]

This might be because compared with neurotypical people, autistic people may be less influenced by social norms & therefore may present their internal selves more authentically!

As an autistic person with alexithymia it's even MORE difficult to manage. I have learned to not bother with fitting to society in terms of gender expression or relationships.

Some thoughts about being aromantic:

I do not yearn for romantic partnerships & I feel fulfilled without such a connection.

However I still have intense, loving feelings, they're just not romantic in nature. There are many forms of love & society is very focused on romantic love. Just look at the movie industry or pop music culture. Romance is everywhere.

Being aromantic doesn't automatically mean you're emotionally cold (it can represent like that). I can form emotional & personal connections & they are deep enough for me to feel satisfied with my life.

Thoughts about being asexual:

People who identify as asexual experience little or no sexual attraction to others - I simply don't have the urge to participate in this field of physical contact. Feeling a form of physical attraction to someone is partly biological but also influenced by society (see beauty standards)/ cultures.

An asexual person can be straight, gay, bisexual or queer because sexual attraction is only one kind of attraction!

If you feel well described by those terms it's absolutely okay to use them. You don't have to label yourself at all, if you don't want to.

Romance has evolved in the last few thousand years. The ancient Greeks created different concepts to describe love.

Eros was romantic love, while storge was family love. Philia was brotherly love or friendship, and agape was an all-encompassing, unconditional love for a partner, God, or someone important to you.

There is no right or wrong.

I hope I was able to provide input!