#arthur will still carry gwen because he loves treating her like a princess and will dote on her in a way she adores

[fluffypotatey]

YO, speaking of Stronk Gwen, think she ever picked Arthur up, too? Not bridal carry or anything, but when they go for a hug, she gets him around the waist and picks him up for a second in Max Hug?

Arthur would fucking DIE.

(She has 110% carried Merlin before, esp. skinny S1 farmboy Merlin.)

oh no question

sure, merlin was taller than her but gwen totally held him up by the scruff of his neck when he wasn't taking care of himself.

arthur tho??? mister "raised with traditional/toxic masculinity values" getting carried by his wife who isn't breaking a sweat???? call a physician because he is dysfunctioning. man's already had a thing for people who stood their ground and showed themselves to be strong of heart. but you carry him??? you life him like he's a sack of potatoes???? gone. that man is gone for you

y'all saw how he looked at percy the first time

like lancelot walks in, coming in hot, with this beefcake and arthur

well

post by @scionofgwenpendragon

arthur is shook™️ (edit: see pic above ^ as proof) by this gentle giant who can crush him. so i am 100% a firm believer that after the first time picked up arthur, he was all for it. and yeah, it was just so she could keep him close, but when she places him back down he is floored.

gwen: you ok?

arthur: hm? yeah, yeah, yeah. i'm good, very good. in fact, could you do that again?

just...my boy would be weak in the knees the moment gwen lifts him off the floor (a good thing too since he wouldn't be able to stand, so good thinking on gwen's part).

anyway, in summary, arthur is weak for strong willed and physically people (those people being merlin, gwen, percival, lancelot--)

[weakforarwen]

Regarding 1x3, Gaius shows the afanc’s shell to Uther which bears Nimueh’s mark, hence Nimueh was responsible for the plague. But I get your point - it doesn’t prove that Gwen didn’t use magic to cure her father. Another plot hole for the books! This show is just riddled with them. OTOH the growth of Gwen’s character between this episode and 3x10 is evident - when she is accused in this episode she is terrified, begging for her life but in 3x10 she stays calm & even talks back to Uther!

Right, that's true! But, like you said, that doesn't explain why Gwen was pardoned or proven innocent of witchcraft.

Watching season 1, it's surprising how much Gwen changes! There's a huge difference between Gwen at the start of the season, and, for example, in The Moment of Truth. It's like night and day. She's much more outspoken and confident, enough to tell Arthur off twice! In the beginning of season 2, she's even more confident of herself but still a bit unsure because she's "only" a servant. She's so cool and collected around Arthur though, more than he.

However, by the end of season 3, Gwen's no longer insecure and carries herself quite differently. She's cooler, sharper. I think this is mostly a consequence of her being secure in her relationship with Arthur and of her newfound purpose in life. She knows Arthur loves her and has hopes that they'll one day marry. She used to be insecure about being a servant, who couldn't possibly compare to a princess, but Arthur's love, and the fact that he chose her over Elena and his father, helped her feel more confident and comfortable with herself. Feeling secure in a relationship and in your role in life increases your self-confidence, right?

And so does overcoming difficulties. Gwen survived Morgana and Uther's hatred. She felt hope, not only for herself and Arthur, but for Camelot. I think Gwen finally felt like she had an important part to play and a way to fulfil her hopes for a better Camelot, and that was to support Arthur and make sure he became the King they all needed.

You're right about how brave Gwen was in Queen of Hearts. Like Merlin, I think Gwen found something bigger than herself to believe in: Arthur. She believed in his destiny to make Camelot a fair and just Kindgom, and she believed in the love they shared, bigger than Uther could ever hope to comprehend and which would outlast his hatred and fear. That's why Gwen was strong in the face of death. Her love for Arthur and Camelot were bigger than her love for herself. She knew one day Uther would fall but Arthur would triumph and avenge her death by being better than his father.

But I don't think Arthur was the only influence in Gwen's life! I think he was the biggest due to the nature of their relationship, but certainly not the only one.

There was Morgana, who first showed Gwen that a noble could care for their servants and treat them equally. Morgana was an admirable person in the beginning, much more humble and outspoken, and kinder and braver, than Arthur was. Their friendship and her character were proof that the nobility didn't need to act superior to the commoners and that not all royals were like Uther. Morgana was once Gwen's biggest champion.

There was Lancelot, who she wanted to become a knight because she believed Camelot needed normal people like him, and not just Arthur and his men. Lancelot also believed that dying for Gwen would be a most honorable death, even though she was "only" a servant. Gwen thought he stood for all that was good in the world. He showed Gwen that people could be pure of heart.

Then, there was Merlin, who was a servant like her, yet always stood up for what he believed in, broke laws and defied conventions, and was so influential with Arthur. He showed her a servant could do great things and Gwen relied on him to save the day, or just Arthur, many times.

Also, honorable mention to Gaius. She was his assistant during some of Camelot's battles so she was able to contribute to the safety and wellbeing of Camelot in that way.

So yeah, all these people were part of Gwen's journey!

Thanks for the ask!

[mca-attack21]

The Beginning of Something part III

@the-ducks-umbrella @heyrobinstuff .... it's here with three parts left to go. As for everyone else, you can catch the first two parts as well as the rest of my writing here.

Your life in Camelot was beginning to fall into a welcomed routine. You would wake up early in the morning and beat Merlin down to the kitchens to fetch breakfast for the King and Queen. Just about the time that you laid everything out on the table, Merlin would come through the door, a small sense of relief evident as his eyes met yours. Some friendly banter would soon follow, which inevitably woke both Arthur and Gwen. Gwen would get up and you would help her prepare for the day and Arthur would threaten Merlin for waking him before begrudgingly allowing him to help prepare him for the day. The two would sit down for breakfast as you and Merlin began busying yourself with some of your chores about the room. You made the bed as Merlin collected the laundry. Sometimes you would shoot glances at each other, Merlin would mock Arthur under his breath, and you would try miserably not to laugh.

Throughout the day you would see each other in passing. Sometimes Merlin would go out of his way to seek you out and check in on you. Anytime that you had free time you would check in with Gaius or some of the knights that Merlin introduced you to to see if there was anything that you could do to help. Gaius took advantage of the fact that you were far more knowledgeable than Merlin when it came to healing magic and enchantments for his poultices. Even on the slow and “uneventful” days in Camelot, you found a way to stay busy.

It was the evenings that you looked forward to the most though. After you and Merlin had both completed the daily tasks and both Arthur and Gwen dismissed you for the night, he would take you out for a while. He used the fact that you were new to the castle at first, then it was that he wanted to introduce you to some more of the knights, to show you different places in Camelot that may have changed since the last time you were there, etc. Your favorite times were when you were released early and able to go beyond the citadel. That was when both you and Merlin could be completely free with each other, not having to worry about using magic or speaking freely. Though to be completely honest any time spent with Merlin was something you would not trade for anything else.

Being around him eased your mind and made your heart swell. You loved to make him smile or laugh, to have him be so carefree if even for a moment in the face of everything that was coming. Having someone to share your burden and the dangers that fate had determined you should carry was unreal. The two of you understood each other in a way that no one else had before. If things were different, maybe the two of you… But that didn’t matter, not really, you felt lucky to even know Merlin, if friendship was all that was in the cards for you that would be enough. Though that didn’t mean that you wouldn’t let your mind wander through the possibilities.

“Y/n? Did you hear me?” Gwen asked.

“No, sorry M’lady I got caught up in my head again.”

“No need to apologize, I just asked if you wanted to accompany Arthur, Merlin, and I on a ride for lunch.”

“I would love to accompany you. Do you need me to prepare anything? I can help you change into riding clothes if you would prefer?”

“That won’t be necessary, Merlin is arranging everything and I plan to wear this. You can take the time to change if you wish, I have nothing else for you to do this morning.”

“Thank you, your highness, I will come up and accompany you to the stables when it is time,” you bowed your head before moving towards the door.

“Y/n-” she called as you neared the door.

“Yes?”

“First of all, call me Gwen, I was once in your position and the titles and formalities are not necessary, especially not in here, not between friends. And I would like to think in the past weeks that you would come to think of me as such?”

“Of course M’- Gwen, you are one of the few friends that I have in Camelot.”

“I’m glad to be your friend, and as your friend, I want to assure you that he feels the same way,” Gwen said with a smile relaxing.

“I’m sorry?” you replied confused as to who she was speaking about.

“Merlin. I see the way that the two of you look at each other when you think no one is looking. He has become more productive just to ensure that he will have spare time to spend with you. With you, he acts lighter, truly more himself than he has in a long time. Arthur says that Merlin denies it, but it is clear as day to both of us. As he played an instrumental part in Arthur and I getting together, I figured I would return the favor,” she revealed.

“Do you honestly believe that?” you said trying to hide the rising heat in your cheeks.

“I do. Now go on and get ready for our double date” she laughed before giving you a friendly shove out of the door.

As you made your way to your quarters you could not contain the smile that was lighting up your face. The thought of you and Merlin actually being together was more than you could ever have dreamt of, the fact that you were not the only one who considered it made it more real.

As you prepared for lunch you felt childish, putting different styles in your hair getting worked up the way a child would with a crush. Out of all of the men in Camelot, Merlin was the least likely to care about that sort of thing and it was not like he didn’t already see you every day. Still…

As you walked with Gwen out to the horses, you were not surprised to hear Merlin and Arthur bantering back and forth.

“Sometimes the two of them act more like a married couple than you and Arthur,” you whispered to Gwen as you rounded the corner.

“You don’t know the half of it,” she replied laughing.

Hearing this, both Merlin and Arthur turned to face the two of you.

“You look lovely as always Guinevere, may I help you on your horse?” Arthur asked, taking her hand and smiling widely.

“Why of course,” she feigned being a wooed princess.

“Merlin, would you like me to help you on your horse?” you joked earning a laugh from the group.

The ride was short and ended in one of the lesser-known parts of the woods that Merlin had taken you during your second or third week in Camelot. Merlin had you set up the blanket and food as he took care of the horses.

“Y/n - I forgot to fill up the water, would you mind-”

“Say no more,” you answered, taking the empty pouches from him.

When you made your way back you were more than surprised to see that Merlin had set up a second picnic just in earshot of Arthur and Gwen. The fact that he’d gone through all of the extra trouble just for you…

“I’m sorry, it’s too much. I just thought… and then Arthur. But it doesn’t have to be, if it's too soon I mean if you don’t feel, I can just…” he fumbled around clearly upset that he had ever thought this was a good idea.

“Merlin,” you interrupted him forcing him to meet your eyes, “it’s absolutely lovely, and I do feel the same way, so let’s have a seat, yeah?”

Any nervousness or doubt was lost as a smile overtook his face and he sat across from you. Everything there on out went pretty smoothly, the two of you talked as you always did while enjoying the food that he had prepared. Afterward, you laid side by side looking up at the clouds and soaking in the nature that was thriving around you. Merlin ventured to take your hand in his and you just relished in the togetherness. Such an innocent act, but it felt more somehow. You honestly had no idea how long you stayed like that before you heard Arthur calling out of Merlin.

As all good things must, it was time for the picnic to come to an end. You started packing up your picnic as Merlin went over to pack up Arthur and Gwen’s. Arthur was teasing him and threw one of the water canvases beyond him.

“I think that my dog can catch better than you,” he jested.

“Perhaps that’s because you treat him better,” Merlin returned.

He went and retrieved the canvas, but was distracted by a tree that was radiating dark magic. He got closer and found a sigil lying on the ground. He was going to call for you to come check it out when Arthur interrupted his thoughts,

“Come along Merlin, your King and Queen await,” he called.

Merlin looked up to see that you had packed everything up and that Arthur and Gwen were on their horses. You sent him a questioning glance, but he knew that he would be best off to explain later. So he stood up and made his way over to you and his friends.

“Did you find it?” Arthur asked.

“What?” he replied clearly confused.

“The canvas! I swear Merlin if your head wasn’t attached…”

“Oh yes, of course, here it is,” he said showing the water container to Arthur.

Arthur nodded approvingly before turning his attention back to Gwen. You and Merlin mount your horsed and the four of you head back towards the castle.

“Everything okay Merlin?” you ask.

“Yeah of course,” he said out loud before mouthing ‘I’ll tell you later’ nodding towards Arthur and Gwen.

“Or you could tell me now” you spoke through the connection in your minds.

“I didn’t even think of using telepathy,” he replied.

“So, what happened back there?”

“I’m not sure, to be honest. All I know is that there was dark and powerful magic involved. I found this,” he answered showing you the sigil.

“I’ve never seen anything like it. Maybe Gaius will know something about it. We-” you were going to continue but were cut off.

“Are you two love birds okay back there? You’ve hardly said a word since we left,” Arthur observed.

“Arthur!” Gwen chastised, leaning over to punch him in the arm.

“We are doing well, just taking in the rare peace and quiet,” you answer sending Merlin a wink.

Merlin and you picked up the pace to come in closer to the king and queen and the four of you carried on a conversation until you rode into the citadel. There were villagers being helped by the knights.

“What happened?” Arthur questioned Leon.

“They have come to seek refuge from Helva.”

Arthur and Gwen immediately dismounted to help the refugees, and you and Merlin quickly took care of the horses and provisions. When you made it inside the castle, you made your way to the throne room where Arthur was learning the rest of what had happened.

“The city of Helva was attacked two days ago. Only the handful of villagers that you saw today were able to survive,” Leon explained.

“Who was responsible?” Arthur asked.

“We assumed the Saxons, but the villagers claim that magic was involved.”

“Morgana” both Merlin and I said at the same time a little too loudly causing Arthur to glance in your direction.

“Do you suspect my sister's involvement?” he returned his attention to Leon.

“The evidence would suggest so, Sire.”

“Strengthen the garrison, double the patrol at the border, and see that the refugees are well taken care of,” Arthur ordered. The knights nodded in understanding before filing out.

It was soon only you, Arthur, Gwen, and Merlin left.

“It makes no sense for Morgana to attack Helva,” Merlin spoke up.

“She must have her reasons,” Gwen replied.

“Why does it strike you as odd?” Arthur asked, his entire demeanor changed now that his knights had left.

“Helva is one of the few places where Magic is practiced freely. Why would she attack her own?”

“Perhaps she was looking for something? Maybe someone? Either way, her being this close to our borders is not good news. We should go talk to some of the villagers, come along Merlin.”

Arthur and Merlin left. And you accompanied Gwen upstairs and drew her a bath before going downstairs to arrange dinner with the kitchen staff. An uneasy feeling accompanied you for the rest of the day. And not even seeing Merlin and Arthur upon returning with the food was enough for it to subside.

After the two of you were dismissed, you went down to speak to Gaius about the sigil. He knew little more than that it was of fine workmanship that no one would part with willingly. You and Merlin decided that you would need to go back at first light to see if you could learn anything else about what happened. Knowing that you had a long day ahead of you tomorrow, you both decided to call it an early night. Merlin walked you to your quarters.

“Is everything alright? You’ve seemed off since we returned,” Merlin asked.

“I’m fine.”

“Y/n…”

“It’s nothing important Merlin, I promise.”

“Okay, as long as you’re sure.”

“I appreciate your concern.”

The two of you had made it to your door, so you decided to take the opportunity to change the subject.

“Thank you for today, the picnic was amazing,” you say trying not to blush.

“I am just glad that we finally have our feelings out in the open,” he replied venturing to take your hands in his.

“So am I,” you smiled this time completely failing to keep the heat from your cheeks.

The two of you stood like that for a moment staring at each other. You studied Merlin’s face before speaking up softly, “This is usually the part where you are supposed to say goodnight.”

He glanced down at your lips and back up to your eyes. He was trying to decide whether or not he should take the leap. A good night kiss but was it too soon. He must’ve decided that it was as he started to pull away nervously before you stepped forward and caught his lips with yours. It was short and sweet.

“Goodnight Merlin,” you said quickly before turning away and entering your quarters.

You missed the ear-to-ear grin that Merlin wore all the way from your door to his own. He was glad that Gaius was already asleep upon his return as he didn’t know if he could utter coherent words at the moment.

You laid down and stared at the ceiling, replaying the moment in your head and waiting for the butterflies in your stomach to calm down. Knowing that sleep would not be your friend for some time, you decided to be productive and sneak down to the kitchen to gather some breakfast for your early morning trip.

Your concerns of earlier began once again to plague your mind. What if the who Morgana had been searching for was Emrys? Worse yet, what if it were you? You couldn’t stand the thought of more people getting hurt because of you. The alternative was not much better, if she was looking for something it was most likely something that would soon put Merlin or Arthur in danger. Knowing that your mind was troubled was enough to lead you to check in on Arthur, so you proceeded to the lookout where you were not surprised to find him.

He was however completely taken by surprise to be disturbed and nearly took your head off.

“Woah there your majesty, it’s just me,” you said.

“Y/n? What are you doing here at this hour?”

“Merlin told me this is where you go to think when something is troubling you-”

“I should have him in the stocks for revealing my private affairs. It’s surely a form of treason,” he joked half-heartedly.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“About what?”

“Whatever is troubling you. I know I am only a servant, but my ear listens as well as any other.”

“You know you are not ‘only a servant’, I value your counsel as well as your friendship, I am just not sure that you would understand.”

“Well, if I had to guess, I would say that you are feeling torn and a bit guilty. You have your duties as a king to protect your people and Camelot. You know to do so will inevitably put you against Morgana who you want more than anything to believe is still able to be saved/redeemed. So now you are here wondering where it all went wrong, wondering if in the moment you will have what it takes if you are still the king you always promised yourself you would be. Am I close?”

By the look on Arthur's face, you could see that you were, so you continued, “Morgana made her choices and there is nothing that you can do to change that. There is nothing wrong about wanting to save the sister you grew up with and loved. You just have to find a way to come to terms with the fact that she is no longer that person. She has allowed fear and hatred to corrupt her. You are protecting Camelot and the people you love from a sorcerer who has every intention of ending life as you know it through whatever means necessary. If you have to face her, you will do the right thing without hesitation, because that is who you are, Arthur Pendragon. You are the greatest king to rule Camelot. You will bring peace to the land, and unite Albion. Your friends believe in you, your people believe in you, now it is time for you to believe in yourself.”

There was something about the way you spoke that made Arthur feel as though every word was true. It was like you had already seen everything play out and came back to give him the courage he needed. His doubts faded away and he felt more sure of himself than he had in a long time. “Thank you,” he replied at a loss for better words as he was still taking in the weight of yours.

“There is no need for thanks Sire,” you replied bowing in sincere respect before taking your leave. By the time you made it back to your quarters, you were exhausted and quickly fell asleep.

It did not feel like long before Merlin was gently shaking you awake. You retrieved the pack of food that you retrieved the night before and made your way to the horses Merlin had readied. You both rode quickly to where you had picnicked only the day before. The tree stump, the sigil, and the feeling that accompanied it, there was something to be said about it. And if that something would in any way help you in the fight against Morgana, or to protect Arthur and Camelot then you had to see it out. You didn’t know exactly what Merlin was looking for, but you were pretty sure that he was not expecting what he found.

It was just as he was beginning to search the area that the first of Morgana’s men came with his sword barrelling down at Merlin. Behind him at least seven more who managed to scare off your horses. That was not an issue, as you and Merlin were easily able to fight them off with your magic. The problem was that one of them had stayed behind and had a crossbow. You managed to take him out, but not before Merlin was shot. You immediately whipped around and took out the man behind the crossbow. Using your magic to make sure that there was no one else before turning back to Merlin whose face was already paling as he stumbled forward towards you.

“Hey there, take it easy, just lie back,” you said as you guided him to the ground. His only response was painful groaning.

“Okay Merlin, I’m going to pull this out. But we have to keep moving, those men won’t be alone, Morgana may even be nearby. But for now, we at least have the advantage of the fact that no one alive besides us knows that we were here.”

Without warning, you clasped one hand over his mouth and pulled out the arrow. Merlin’s muffled yells broke your heart but you didn’t have time, not right now, not if you were going to save him.

“I’m sorry, I really am, but we have to get going, as soon as we are far enough away I can heal you.”

“Where will we go?” Merlin asked, already noticeably weaker.

“To the watchtower just past the ridge. We can take shelter there long enough for me to heal you and for Morgana and her men to leave.”

Merlin nodded before using his sword to help him stand.

“Can you walk?” you asked as you helped him up.

“Yeah, I think so,” he said, voice strained.

“Okay, here we go,” you said as you put his arm over your shoulder and helped support his weight. The walk took you nearly twice as long as it should have. You found Merlin some cover to rest in while you went ahead to make sure it was safe. You returned and hoisted him up, “We are almost there, and then everything will be okay I promise.”

When the two of you made it inside you were faced with a new problem...the winding staircase. You made it about halfway up before Merlin stumbled. You tried to help him up but he refused.

“Come on Merlin, we can’t stop here. Morgana’s men will be here shortly.”

“I just - I just need a minute,” he decided before asking, “How do you know this place anyways?”

“It is one of the places I stayed after what happened to my father.”

You could tell that Merlin was going to say something else, but the dogs heard in the distance were enough to still his tongue.

“Okay, minute over. We have to get up to the roof,” you said as you helped Merlin up.

By the time you got Merlin up to the roof, he was all but unconscious. You worried that through your journey his injury became worse, or maybe you had misjudged it initially. You wanted to heal him, but you had a bigger problem to deal with first. Morgana and her men had entered the tower. Knowing that they would see Merlin’s blood, Morgana was unlikely to leave until she searched every inch of it herself. You could try to seal her out, but you didn’t want to test whose power was stronger today. Especially when Merlin was unable to defend himself if you failed. Instead, you held a concealment spell, which took a significant amount of effort with two people.

“They were here! Emerys or Phúlax, maybe even both of them, and you let them slip away!” Morgana raged. You were beginning to get lightheaded and prayed that they would exit the roof.

“They couldn’t have gone far, maybe they saw us coming and took off again. We can search the surrounding areas, M’lady,” a brave knight suggested. That was all it took for Morgana to order all of her men back to their horses and into the woods to continue their search.

As soon as she was out of earshot you released the concealment. The sudden relief almost caused you to pass out, but you forced yourself over to Merlin. In the entirety of your life, you had never remembered feeling as drained as you did at that moment. But that didn’t matter, you were going to save him. As you said the healing enchantments, your power was leaving you. It was getting harder and harder to keep your eyes open, but you pushed on knowing that if you allowed yours to close before you were done that his would never open again. As the last words left your mouth, you collapsed in exhaustion praying to any and everything that it had worked.

You vaguely remembered being picked up. You were scared and preparing yourself for the worst until you heard Merlin’s voice. It was distant and muffled, but you could tell that it was his. You were brought comfort in the fact that no matter what happened to you that he was going to be okay. The next thing you remembered was feeling weightless and then another voice, one much more powerful and wise speaking. There was then a sensation, unlike anything that you’d ever felt before.

“She will be okay, though she will need time to recover fully. What she did was no small feat, something I am not even sure you could have survived young Warlock.”

“Thank you, I don’t know how I would have got her back here without your help,” Merlin replied.

You were finally able to force your eyes open only to see the most magnificent dragon standing before you.

“Ahhh, our friend is finally awake. It is a pleasure to meet you Phúlax.”

“You must be Kilgarrah,” you replied, trying to sit up before gasping in pain.

“Lie still young one, your body is weak and my magic works slowly.”

“Thank you for saving us,” you nod towards the dragon.

“You are the one I should thank for without you I would be without a dragon lord. But I should go, Courage and Strength are nearly here. Be warned young warlock the great war is nearly upon us. And Phúlax, your time is nearing,” he said before flying away.

“Wait! What does that mean?” Merlin called out, but it was to know avail.

His attention was redirected to you as you started coughing. He was by your side in an instant. “Hey, take it easy everything is going to be fine.” He squeezed your hand reassuringly, trying to ignore the fact that it was freezing. He trusted that Kilgarah was right and that his friends were on their way. And if on cue, familiar voices came into earshot.

“Merlin? Y/n?” you heard Gwaine call out.

“How many times are you going to call for them?” Arthur asked, slightly amused.

“Until they answer,” Gwaine said, his bravado attempting to hide his concern, “Merlin? Y/n?”

“We’re here,” Merlin called.

Gwaine and Arthur dismounted their horses and came down to where Merlin and you were situated, at this point you were practically unconscious again.

“What happened?” Arthur asked at once.

“Gaius sent Y/n and I out to get herbs before breakfast and we were caught by Morgana’s men. We escaped, but Y/n was hit by a direct blast from Morgana. We need to get her back to Gaius,” Merlin lied.

Luckily Arthur bought it no questions asked, any doubts he had overtaken by concern for you.

The next thing you knew, you were waking up in your bed. You glanced around and decided that it had to be at least midday. You would be lying if you said that you were a little disappointed not to see Merlin first thing when you woke up. But you pushed that feeling aside and prepared yourself for the day. You made your way downstairs to see if Gaius had any idea where your favorite Warlock was, but as soon as you opened the door your question was answered.

Arthur, Merlin, Gwaine, Leon, and Gaius were all there standing around the body of a knight. The skin on his face had grown over his face until he would have suffocated.

“In the old days this was a punishment known as Ragaid, it came only from the high priestess herself, an ultimate warning to her enemies,” Gaius explained.

“What does it mean?” Arthur asked.

“It means that Morgana has declared war,” you said, alerting everyone in the room of your presence for the first time.

[tabloidtoc]

Star, January 11

You can buy a copy of this issue for your very own at my eBay store: https://www.ebay.com/str/bradentonbooks

Cover Story: Hollywood’s Best and Worst Bosses 

Page 1: Shia LaBeouf currently accused of relentless abuse and sexual battery by his ex FKA Twigs was snapped making out with Margaret Qualley after she arrived at LAX for a solid 10 minutes and holding up traffic -- the PDA session was the first time Shia and Margaret who is the daughter of Andie MacDowell were spotted out in public together but the two got well-acquainted a few months ago rolling around naked for a NSFW music video for a song by the actress’ sister Rainey Qualley a.k.a. Rainsford -- Shia went out of his way to charm Margaret as soon as they met and he wooed her with compliments and gifts and flowers and texts and spur-of-the-moment dates where he’d just show up at her house but her friends are concerned because Twigs’ lawsuit against Shia alleges multiple incidents of abuse including choking her in her sleep and knowingly giving her a sexually transmitted disease -- Shia said many of those allegations are not true and he is in a 12-step program and therapy for PTSD and alcoholism

Page 2: Contents, Prince William and Duchess Kate with kids Prince George and Princess Charlotte and Prince Louis for a Christmas card 

Page 3: Candice Swanepoel in a bathing suit in Miami, Jennifer Garner stepped out to run errands in a mask and an expressive sweater in L.A., Ryan Reynolds cuddled up with a puppy to encourage his Instagram followers to donate to the SickKids Foundation 

Page 4: Friends of Johnny Depp are keeping their distance as he gears up for another ugly defamation trial against ex-wife Amber Heard -- after losing the case against a U.K. newspaper that called him a wife beater and a scathing feature in The Hollywood Reporter that dubbed the star radioactive and his career all but dead, former pals want nothing to do with him -- the likes of Jude Law, Leonardo DiCaprio and Channing Tatum have been backpeddling on Johnny and it’s making him furious but to be fair Johnny had already alienated Leo and Channing by calling them Pumpkin Head and Potato Head and accusing them of having affairs with Amber -- Jude’s indifference cuts the deepest because for a time he and Johnny were brothers-in-arms as they filmed the second Fantastic Beasts movie and from Johnny’s perspective Jude hasn’t lifted a finger to defend him 

Page 5: Mossimo Giannulli’s son is speaking out claiming the fashion designer is being treated harshly at California’s Federal Correctional Institution in Lompoc and Gianni Giannulli took to social media to complain that because of the pandemic his dad has been locked in solitary confinement for one full month and is only let out every three days for a few moments to shower and Gianni, Mossimo’s son from an earlier relationship, is irate that his father is being mistreated and he feels sorry for his dad and doesn’t want to see him languishing in prison however his half sisters Bela and Olivia Jade don’t seem too bothered by it

* At age 74 Susan Sarandon has had it with men -- she said she hasn’t really had a large dating career and in fact hasn’t had a guy in five years and it’s not that she can’t get a man, it’s just that the men she attracts are losers or sub-par in some way -- she is happy hanging out in her NYC apartment but still friends can’t help trying to fix her up because she’s attractive and in phenomenal shape but the problem is she scares guys away; she’s a force they can’t handle 

* Two years after sharing her shock diagnosis with multiple sclerosis Selma Blair is struggling with pain and fear -- she was recently spotted getting emotional outside a West Hollywood cannabis shop and she has turned to medical marijuana to soothe symptoms of the chronic immune-system disorder which can include fatigue, spasticity, walking issues, numbness, weakness, vision issues and pain -- on some days she can’t even get out of bed but she’s trying to stay strong for her son Arthur and smile more for him but it’s been hard 

Page 6: Julianne Hough appears to be sweetness and light but she’s a heartbreaker according to her ex Chuck Wicks who split from Julianne in 2009 -- in a revealing podcast Chuck blasted Julianne saying they were both loving life then out of nowhere you find out that they are not the person you thought they were and you break up -- Chuck admitted that he and Julianne agreed to say their split was amicable but it wasn’t fine and it wasn’t his fault

* After holing up at his Oklahoma spread Blake Shelton and Gwen Stefani are having a blast decorating their 13,000-square-foot $13.2 million new home in the Encino area of California’s San Fernando Valley -- the home sits on 1.6 ultra-private acres behind double gates and extensive walls and features a pool and fabulous views -- inside the engaged pair give each other space: Gwen wants a dance studio and Blake gets his own man-cave with a big screen and high-tech surround sound 

* Star Spots the Stars -- Nicky Hilton, Katharine McPhee Foster, Katherine Schwarzenegger Pratt making dairy-free and plant-based holiday appetizers, Jenna Dewan, Natalia Dyer

Page 8: Big Losers -- these stars shed pounds and got healthy in 2020 -- Jessica Simpson, Rebel Wilson, Kelly Osbourne 

Page 10: Star Shots -- Gwen Stefani on the way to the recording studio in Santa Monica, Jerry O’Connell started his morning off with a fresh mimosa and a kiss from one of his dogs, Jodie Turner-Smith is the first Black actress to play Henry VIII’s ill-fated queen Anne Boleyn in a major U.K. TV series in Emley, UK 

Page 11: Nick Cannon pitched in to help distribute 2000 free meal boxes to the Hollywood Food Coalition

Page 12: Demi Moore in a yellow bow for a selfie thanking readers for checking out her memoir, Paris Hilton kicked back for a Coach campaign reintroducing the early-2000s ubiquitous Swinger bag

Page 13: Derek Hough and his dogs Romie and Luna, Irina Shayk striking a pose 

Page 14: Sofia Vergara during a photoshoot, Real Housewives of New York City alum Kristen Taekman is taking advantage of the California winter weather in a bikini in Malibu, Wells Adams takes out the trash in L.A. 

Page 16: Carrie Underwood showed off her comfy at-home style, Vanessa Hudgens and her favorite condiment, Katherine Schwarzenegger celebrates her dog’s birthday 

Page 17: Vanderpump Rules star Tom Sandoval picked up a holiday-themed centerpiece ahead of Christmas in L.A., Katie Holmes slung a guitar over her shoulder in NYC, Dame Joan Collins dropped by The Jonathan Ross Show in London 

Page 18: Normal or Not? Hailey Baldwin shares a glimpse into her beauty routine -- normal, Tiger Woods’ son Charlie showed off his skills ahead of the PNC Championship -- normal 

Page 19: Pete Wentz playing tennis in L.A. -- normal, Pete Davidson hurt himself a few times while making a scarf -- not normal 

Page 20: Fashion -- stars charm in romantic ruffles -- Keke Palmer, Gwyneth Paltrow, Lupita Nyong’o 

Page 21: Kirsten Dunst, Halsey 

Page 24: Ariana Grande announced her engagement to realtor Dalton Gomez with some celebratory shots and she’s telling everyone how she never thought it was possible to be this happy -- the couple began dating in early 2020 when Dalton helped Ariana find a home in L.A. and things hit the fast track amid the health pandemic which saw the two enjoying quality time together in lockdown and realizing they were a perfect fit because they never fight and are totally in sync about how they look at life -- Ariana went straight into wedding mode already deciding on an intimate outdoor setting in mid-2021

Page 25: Jon Hamm stepped out in L.A. recently with girlfriend Anna Osceola and she was showing off a noticeably rounder midsection and there’s a good chance the two are pregnant because they’ve been actively trying to get into the family way -- though Jon admitted in 2016 that having children isn’t necessarily an imperative Jon may have changed his tune after his year-long relationship with Anna and hitting the big 5-0 in March has him reassessing his life and now having a child has become important to him 

* Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher will be camping in style now that they’ve purchased a $140K Mercedes Benz Sprinter and they’re preparing to embark on an adventure  -- with sleeping accommodations for four and a kitchen the spacious luxury vehicle is perfect for the couple and their two kids -- other stars can spend their vacations in five-star resorts but Mila and Ashton prefer to keep things alfresco and it’s a tradition they’ve kept all these years; this is their idea of a perfectly fun vacation

Page 26: Cover Story -- Hollywood’s Best and Worst Bosses -- who’s great to work for and who makes employees’ lives a misery -- Jennifer Hudson -- best

Page 27: Jennifer Lopez -- worst, Rihanna -- best, Kenny Chesney -- best, Mariah Carey -- worst, Gwyneth Paltrow -- worst 

Page 28: Keanu Reeves -- best, Sandra Bullock -- best, Emma Watson -- worst 

Page 29: George Clooney -- best, Ellen DeGeneres -- worst, Guess the Bad Boss 

Page 30: Tom Cruise and Hayley Atwell: Man on a Mission -- amid all the tension on the set of Mission: Impossible 7 Tom has been pursuing his costar Hayley to be his next girlfriend and it seems to be working -- Tom has become very active with the U.K. Scientology Branch and is very taken with English women like Hayley and he’d like to make the U.K. his home base -- handcuffed to each other for several scenes in M:I7 Hayley and Tom were also spotted holding hands when the cameras weren’t rolling 

Page 32: Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s very L.A. Christmas -- the prince spends the holidays 5000 miles away from the royal family but Meghan’s mom Doria Ragland was on hand for the festivities -- the couple were intending to call Queen Elizabeth on Christmas morning otherwise they were happy to celebrate a low-key holiday 

Page 38: Entertainment 

Page 48: Parting Shot -- Sophie Turner and Joe Jonas suited up to hit the slopes stopping by a local store to pick up goodies before changing into warmer gear in Mammoth Lakes in California -- the couple are familiar faces in the ski town and looking forward they will be able to plan even more snowy getaways now that they’ve listed their NYC apartment for $5.9 million and moved full-time to Encino 

[mojoflower]

Genderswap (&/or Rule 63) in my Various Fandoms:  fic recs

Teen Wolf

turn the tires toward the street by leahalexis E, 7k.

He’s got it really bad for Dara Hale. He knows this, okay?He wishes he could protect her, which is stupid, because she’s got an inch of height and twenty-five pounds of sheer muscle on him, not to mention the supernatural strength and speed and healing.“What do you want, Stiles?” she says, voice breaking. She finally opens her eyes, and they’re bright and wet, eyelashes spiky with tears.--Dara Hale, Stiles Stilinski, a dark alley, and a question of trust.

Huh, interesting. Usually I have trouble with Derek as a girl (and in this case, it was doubly weird, because my little sister's name is Dara, and while she's nearly 6-feet tall, she's also very skinny and pale and red-headed and so very not-sexy, eww) but I really enjoyed the dynamic of Stiles being - while still male - shorter, slighter, completely virginial, and looking to Derek (Dara) for experience and guidance. Author described it really well. (Also, when she was rimming Stiles, whew, holy wow.)

Switching Goals by betp E, 4k.

“You’re kind of cute,” Lydia says, changing the subject, “in a sort of… lost baby squirrel in a pixie cut sort of way.”  //  “Great,” he says, fumbling ineptly with the clasp on the bra. “Th… thanks, Lydia, that’s… quite the endorsement. I’m vermin.”  //  Lydia and Erica peaceably watch him fuck around with the hooks for a full five minutes, this look on their faces like justice is finally being delivered. Stiles refuses to lose his temper with the thing in front of them, so he just doggedly keeps at it. Eventually, Lydia says, “We might have to invest in a frontal clasp for you.”

Lol.

Stiles can’t argue with him, because Derek is touching him and it’s distracting. “Have you touched yourself?”

“A little,” admits Stiles. He swallows, watches Derek’s wrist intently. “I mean, it was mostly exploratory—for science. It wasn’t really, uh. Sensual. I tried, but I haven’t, um.” He stops. Derek’s fingers glide right in, and Stiles’ mouth drops open. “God, that’s wet,” he exclaims, pinched. “Oh, jesus. Can you—put your dick in there, just—”

“Let’s not rush it,” says Derek absently. Pulls his fingers out and they’re soaked.

“B-but I wa, I want… Don’t put those in your mouth, oh my god.” He stares, outraged, as Derek deliberately disobeys him, eyes shut. Stiles darts a hand down where Derek’s fingers were, just to feel. He’s never produced his own lube before; he’s definitely gonna miss that. “What, um. What does it taste like.”

Derek smirks. “Like you,” he says, and then before Stiles can react, Derek’s mouth is on him.

don't carry it all by grimm E, 7k.

There had been, Stiles tells his father carefully, a mix-up at Deaton's. 'A mix-up,' his father says flatly, and Stiles says, 'yeah.'

Maybe 'mix-up' was the wrong word to use. 'A flub of extraordinary proportions,' maybe, or, 'a fuck-up the likes of which you've never seen,' or maybe even, 'a crazy stupid amount of magic that ricocheted off Deaton's ward, mutated, and turned me into a girl.' Scott hadn't stopped laughing until Stiles kneed him in the balls, which had been oddly satisfying. Allison had given him a high-five.

Very nice, and surprisingly angsty: Stiles was really breaking my heart for the first half, so worried about Derek being mad at him and upset because his dad can't look at him since he looks just like his mama. Emotional hurt/comfort and gorgeous sex.

They Say It Should Be Someone You Really Love by winter_rogue E, 2.3k.

"Derek, tell me you’re the frog who’s going to get us out of the frying pan"

Well, well. Genderswap AND sex pollen. This is more a little slice of time than a complete story, but it's hot!

Girl Trouble by sffan E, 9k.

“Dude. You have boobs,” Scott replies, staring at Stiles’ chest.  //  “What?” Stiles puts hands on his chest, pauses a moment, and then cups his breasts. He pulls the neck of shirt out, and looks inside. “What the fuck, I have boobs! And what the hell has happened to my voice?”  //  “It’s an octave lower?” Derek deadpans, raising an eyebrow.

Exactly what you want from a Stiles-is-suddenly-a-girl fic. Delicious.

wax all the floors and open the trap doors by leahalexis T, 25k.

“We had a good thing going here, Derek!" Stiles said, her voice high and a little hysterical. "Like a buddy cop movie! With the sniping, and the—no kissing! There is no kissing in buddy cop movies!”  //  Jackson’s no longer a kamina, but Erica and Boyd are still missing. There’s a whole month left of school. Scott and Allison aren’t talking. And Stiles is pretty positive that Derek is gay.  //  Or she was, anyway. Pre-kissing.

This Stiles is hilarious: oblivious and chirpy and socially inept and dangerously curious and independant. Her friendship with Scott and Lydia are perfect, and not-gay Derek is kind of hilarious in his understated way. No sex yet, but I'm looking forward to the sequel....

Nothing Like Real Life by nightanddaze E, 14k.

Derek fucks the fairies up, but they fuck him up too. Stiles tries pretty unsuccessfully to keep his eyes and hands to himself. 


Interesting. Kind of sharp and hard-edged. Derek becomes a girl, but he's still a dick, and he lets Stiles fuck him, but it's pretty cold. And yet. Stiles keeps hand-washing his bras, though.

Air on a G String by rufflefeather E, 21k.

A Maenad is after Lydia, and when she doesn't get what she wants, she takes it out on Stiles.  //  Or the one where Stiles suddenly has lady bits and he's not quite sure what to do with them.

Het!sex is hot. Who knew?

Sink Us to Swim by mklutz T, 37k.

“Stiles,” Laura says, gently, “When all of this is over, when the rogue is taken care of, I think – I hope that your dad will join our pack. He’s always treated Derek and me almost like family, and I’d like to return the favor if I can. It’s fine,” she asserts, then corrects, “I’m going to make sure it’s fine.”

Heh, girl Stiles is a cutie.

Merlin

More Lovely and More Temperate by Saucery E, 10k.

Really, it was ridiculous to think that he couldn't handle a bit of drink, just because he was a woman. Arthur was getting sick and tired of attentive and semi-petrified knights trying to pry him away from his ale. He was Crown Prince, damn it - or Princess, for now - and he could celebrate his twenty-first birthday as he sodding well pleased.

"You're embarrassing yourself," hissed Merlin, after the good Sir Gawain caught himself staring down Arthur's bodice, went red in the face, and staggered away from the table like a man in fear for his sanity.  //  "I'm enjoying myself." Poor Gawain. He was such easy prey.  //  "You're flaunting your breasts."  //  "Isn't that what they're for? Morgana flaunts hers an awful lot."  //  Merlin's face contorted in an interesting way, and he glanced around the hall as if to check for Morgana's presence. "I can't believe you just said that," he whispered fiercely, "and also, I can't believe you're competing with Morgana over... over this!"  //  We've always competed, ever since we were children. Drove Father quite mad."  //  "I can imagine," Merlin muttered.  //  "And mine are bigger, anyway. They are, aren't they?"

Fuck. Me. That was so hot. Favorite.

Melinna by doomcanary M, 26k

Merlin learns the hard way that magic has a mind of its own. And sometimes, a body too...

Fun romp: Merlin gets stuck as a girl for a while, hijinks ensue (including a steamy one-off with Morgana). In the third one, Gwen is accidentally turned into a boy (which Lancelot finds very hot). In the fourth one, everyone is inexplicably in a sultan's palace (and harem) and Merlin keeps involuntarily switching between Merlin and Melinna. Melinna's funny, just like Merlin, really, irreverent and utterly unconcerned with how a woman is SUPPOSED to act.

Who Ever Desired by novemberlite E, 3k.

It was always meant to happen, but never this way.  //  or  //  Basic girl!Merlin/Arthur porn, really.

Whoa, Nellie. Hot!

Dewiniaeth by claire_debonair E, 31k.

Nimueh is set on destroying the Pendragons, yet again. They do say hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, after all, and this time it's Merlin who bears the brunt of her scheming. Fairy tale princess he is not.

So.... Nimeuh turns Merlin into a girl and says he has to fuck Arthur to turn back... but it'll kill Arthur. Be warned that Merlin tries it first with a sweet OC, Garath, but that doesn't work. Arthur doesn't really make it into the story until the second third, and the sexual tension between them is pretty hot. Story loses a little coherency after they do the deed, but that's alright.

Walks In Beauty by burkesl17 E, 9.7k.

They all stared at Arthur's chest and that was when Merlin's brain really registered the thinner face, the smooth throat and he said feelingly, “Oh shit.” Gender switch, crack, true love, duels of honour and someone who really, really doesn't want to wear a dress.

Great genderswitch story. Arthur really, REALLY doesn't like it, and poor Merlin is going crazy, since they've only been lovers for a couple of months, and although he prefers men, female Arthur is hot.

In Turning We Come Around Right by janne_d M, 13k.

Arthur wakes up changed - and that changes everything else.

Poor Arthur is mortified by his new female body, and not only that, if anyone finds out, he'll lose his position as heir, which is far more serious. So Merlin takes care of him while he's locked in his room, and desperately searches for a cure, and meanwhile, UST and the ST, and mixed signals and serious hotness. Lovely.

The Course of True Love by Puckling E, 44k.

After Nimueh's death Albion needs a High Priestess, but what it's got is Merlin. Fortunately he'll serve after a few...modifications. Unfortunately for Merlin, being turned into a woman would be enough of a shock even without becoming the High Priestess. As is, it's his duty to sleep with the king or doom all of Albion.

44k words. Great story: Merlin becomes female after killing Nemueh, and it turns it it's because the Old Religion needs a new High Priestess now that he killed the old one. Simple solution, huh? Arthur finds out at an awkward time, Merlin is freaked 'cause he thinks he's going to have to have sex with Uther (so much nope, you don't even). His magic likes Arthur, surrounds him in a misty golden cloud and connects the two with a purring golden bond. His magic feels rather differently about Uther, who's surrounded in a pulsing black hole of yuck. Story might have started a little slow (or I could just have been tired and distracted), but soon picks up speed. Funny, sexy and interesting. What's not to love? *** Puckling is actually here on AO3, but doesn't have this particular story up, sadly. Keep checking: maybe it'll happen. Meanwhile, the site linked is an easy format to read.

The Prince's Mistress by thegirl M, 98k.

When Uther declared war on the Old Religion after the death of his wife in childbirth, he was warned that there would be consequences to his crusade beyond his worst nightmares. But Uther ignored these warnings, and the purge continued. If he'd known the price his people would pay for his vendetta, perhaps he would have been more wary.  //  Twenty years have passed since the great purge began, and Uther's subjects have grown barren. Fewer children are born with each passing year, until the very future of the Kingdom was endangered. In a final attempt to save Camelot, Uther decreed that men of the noble class were allowed to take mistresses without fear of condemnation. The social class from which the mistress originated didn't matter, as long as she was able to bear an heir - an heir that would be recognised and legitimised by the court.  //  Merlin, having been raised outside Camelot, knew little of these problems. If she had, she'd have thought twice before she saved the prat of a prince's life and was made his mistress as a 'reward' by Uther.

A fill from a kinkmeme prompt, which focuses on an canon AU where Merlin is a girl, Arthur's mistress, and the only hope for a waning Camelot.

Interesting premise. Merlin is a little frustrating, the way she just accepts, without angst, being a broodmare right away (there's no smexy times, really, this could easily be T), but other then that it's fast-paced and engaging. I'll keep an eye out for the series.

a tree and a bee and a flea, fiddle-dee-dee by Signe (oxoniensis) M, 8k.

Arthur is a princess. And other things he doesn't appreciate.

Love it. Hee, hee.

Just The Tip by Kateri E, 4k.

"Just the tip" Arthur asks of his now female manservant. "Please, just the tip"

 Marvel

Charlotte Francine Xavier by Blind_Author E, 72k.

Written for a prompt. A look at how the events of the movie would have changed if Charles was a woman. Very dark subject matter - past child abuse, past rape, mentions of the Holocaust.

Wow, this was very intense and very good. I LOVE how incredibly powerful Charlotte is, and how Erik slowly learns and accepts that, and how peaceful it makes HIM, to know that.

Dust on a Butterfly's Wings by cakeisnotpie M, 37k.

Miss Claire Francis Clinton Barton has a problem; calling in a favor from an old family friend seems like the best answer. Little does she know the events set in motion by one simple visit to the Coulson town home will lead her into a dangerous world. Lord Phillip Coulson, the Duke of Argyll is in need of a wife; all of his careful planning doesn't foresee Claire showing up on his doorstep and turning his life upside down. A steampunk Victorian alternate world with vampires, werewolves, magic, and mysticism and right in the middle of it all, Phil Coulson and a female Clint Barton. Oh, and a female Tony Stark, but that makes infinite sense, all things considered.

This was interesting: it took me a while to put all the strands together, but things moved fast once I did. I really love the ending.

Heart of Iron & Ice by darkseraphina E, 20k.

Antonia Stark was born a girl...and changed the world by not having a dick. Who knew? Also, she's a Guide. Tony still ends up in a cave in Afghanistan with iron in her heart and a box of scraps, and she still escapes. With style. And explosions - lots of explosions. Meeting a viking god from another realm - who's also a Sentinel - in the desert? Not part of her life plan. Good thing she's an engineer - and that he's very pretty. Tony likes pretty things.

Delightful little romp.

Amateur Theatrics by galaxysoup T, 27k.

In which Thor’s primary problem-solving method (a mighty blow from Mjolnir) fails to have the desired effect on a magical artifact, and his secondary method (a mightier blow from Mjolnir) proves to be actively disastrous.

Clint makes the absolute best Loki Daddy-uncle-brother-guardian-whatever. And kid!Loki is sweet as a pie. More or less.  [The genderswap here, Tony turns female, is brief and incidental.]

The Hobbit (always a girl!bilbo is very popular for some reason)

Durin's League by hobbitgrl E, 73k.

When the mysterious Durin's League takes the national spotlight in the battle against the super-powered villains of the Smaug Corporation Bilbo Baggins doesn't think much of it. At least not until Thorin Oakenshield crashes through her living room wall and Gandalf tells her she's their only hope.

Oh, good story. Much more intense than I'd expected, things are BAD, and there is violence and misunderstandings and hot het sex. Original! ***** But now she stood before an army, each hand coated in a glowing blue light that reflected and sparkled off the silvery material of her shirt. Perhaps, if she could have seen herself, she would have felt better knowing she stood tall—a warrior who gave hope to everyone around her, a beacon of courage and power that outshone even Kili. She was Bilbo Baggins: the dragonslayer.But Bilbo couldn’t see herself and she only knew she was choking on her heart, adrenaline making the world sharp and slow as she faced down overwhelming odds. So Bilbo did what she always did—she took a deep breath, braced herself, and met it head on.

Distances Both Physical and Emotional by The Feels Whale (miscellea) T, 32k.

There are no words adequate to describe the Last Homely House or the wonders of Lord Elrond’s hospitality, which seems impossible to strain even under the burden of thirteen empty dwarfish stomachs and their even more trying attitudes.  //  Having played hostess to those same stomachs in her time, Briar is duly impressed and endeavors to add to the burden as little as possible. This is made somewhat more difficult by the fact that elves, apparently, are better able to differentiate between hobbit gentlemen and hobbit ladies that dwarves seem to be. A fact Briar learned when Lord Elrond pulled her to one side after their meal and put her into the hands of his daughter and her women with a gentle smile.  //  Briar feels that she probably owes him a swift kick in the shins for that.

Huh, this is my first fem!Bilbo (Briar) story, and I really enjoyed it. The dwarves mistaking her for a him is pretty funny, and it's easy to see how it snowballs until it's easier for her to just let it go. Part 1 is Briar's POV (includes a little snogging etc.... might be a gentle T). Part 2 is Thorin's of the same events, but none of the same details, so it's not like reading the whole thing twice. Thorin notes that Hobbits as a species have a native magic to remain hidden, which explains the success of their burglar as well as the fact that when in Hobbiton, you can only go in circles going nowhere until guided by a Hobbit. And there are some cultural things during the visit with the elves that are very interesting. (I'd call Part 2 a G.)

The Tale of the Birds by pagination  G, 75k, WIP.

Four little hobbits went Adventuring. Bilba Baggins, sent to bring them back, found four little hobbit birds instead. Transformed along with a pair of dwarves by a batty wizard, their only hope is a spell that hasn't been performed in an Age. Bilba is a Baggins, which means Responsibility--and if traveling across Middle-Earth, dealing with ridiculously overprotective elves, and outsmarting a nutty king is what it takes, then that is simply what she'll have to do.  //  But goodness, she really could have done without this irritating dwarf prince!

This. Was SO DELIGHTFUL. Even if it ends before Thorin and Bilba ever meet face to face. Bilba is a HOOT, arching her way across half of Middle Earth to help her little hobbit (and dwarf) bird-friends. Everyone she meets along the way falls in love, she's such a unique, fiery, precious little thing. I dearly hope the author continues [19/?] someday, 'cause I can't wait to see what she and Thorin think of each other. (Even though everyone but Gandalf, Beorn and the hobbit-birds thinks she's a he.) Delightful.

Of Dwobbits, Dragons and Dwarves by ISeeFire T, 322k.

Bilba has been a slave her entire life. All she knows of the outside world is what she sees from time to time outside the gates of Moria and the stories her mother used to tell her. Stories of a place called the Shire where her mother once lived and a placed called Erebor where, as far as she knows, her father still lives. Stories of dragons a thousand times larger, and more intelligent, than the beasts the orcs rode and of a strange concept called freedom where one was allowed to live as they wished with no one to tell them what they could, or could not do.  //  The stories meant little to Bilba. The only future she had was to live, and die, as a slave as countless number had before her.  //  And then the orcs dragged an injured female firedrake through the gates, her rider screaming obscenities behind her as he fought to reach her side...and everything changed.

OH. Fuck. Me.

This was intense... and lovely, and dense and fast-paced and never ever lagged. I very nearly didn't read it, because it's not a pairing I follow, but dragons.... I thought it'd wallow in the slave thing, but it didn't at all, and Bilba, in spite of what's happened to her (and terrible terrible things have happened, don't doubt it -- although none of them were sexual, which was a relief) is STRONG, in spite of (and because of) being fucked up.

Each race of Middle Earth has an associated species of dragon, and certain people can form bonds with them, able to communicate telepathically w/the dragon and also with other riders. This is important, since Bilba's tongue was cut out some indeterminate time ago (she was born into slavery in the mines of Moria). When she finally stumbles free with the infant dragon, she winds up in the Shire for a couple of years... it's a loooong time, many years, before she meets Fili. She spends the interim being fucking badass and slaughtering Orcs left and right and basically being a thorn in the side of Azog, who used to own her.

But when you think that arc is done, there's another, and then another, and holy hell it gets intense, and shit keeps raining down. POV skips around a lot, and everyone is involved, all the races, and the author has their own plot, only borrowing loosely from canon. This was amazing, and is less about the pairing than it is about Bilba learning that there's another world out there, aside from rage and pain, and learns what's worth fighting for, and is able to direct and use her anger.

I loved this.  (Dragon AU.)

Hurricanes in Hertford, Hereford, and Hampshire by 61Below M, 126k.

Bilbo was banished. That's it, the end. She wants nothing more to do with dwarves. Now all she needs to do is get back home, but there may be some complications along the way.

Oh, fuck ME, this was fantastic, and moved so quickly, I just devoured it today, and I'm still kind of gasping. You think it's just going to be pregnant Bilbo going home and misunderstanding and resolution with a cute baby, but no, nope, that's just the beginning, and then the real journey starts. Author melds this with LOTR, so that it's Bilbo making the journey to Mordor, Thorin by her side, and the cast is so RICH and nuanced and the interactions between dwarves, elves, hobbits, men and wizards is lovely with a lot of background (and also RADAGAST, can I just say RADAGAST, he's such a fucking spacey cutie and he takes Gandalf's place in some ways that make a lot of sense, although Gandalf is around, too). Just, this is a great story, read it, author has definitely done her reading. (Also, I love the way author writes sex, it's an interesting style to choose, but it definitely works.)

Dear Mr. Oakenshield by Ridel No Rating, 1.2k.

Lobelia Sackville-Baggins is exactly the sort of person who thinks all problems can be solved with a good scolding and a clip around the ear hole.  //  But the Dwarf who'd taken advantage of her cousins affections and sent her home in disgrace is hundreds of miles away. Oh well, an angry letter will have to suffice.

Omg, I want to see Thorin's reaction to this letter SO BADLY!!! (I don't think I've ever liked Lobelia Sackville-Baggins quite this much ever before.)

Harry Potter

Take These Lies by white_serpent M, 34k.

Repeatedly rejected by the Auror training programme, Draco Malfoy attempts an unorthodox method of gaining admission. Written for 2010 hd_fan_fair (travel), following scarlet_malfoy's prompt. Note: contains genderswap and dubious consent, both of which were requested in the prompt.

Omg, I LOVED this. Draco is sharp as a tack, and determined to find a way to get into the Aurors despite the rampant prejudice against purebloods and Slytherins. He thinks his disguise as Aquila (really, Draco, another constellation name?) is foolproof, but a number of people see through it. (All girls: Hermione, Luna and Ginny), but Ron and Harry are oblivious. And Harry starts crushing. Then it all culminates in a final project in Training: acting as honeymooners while on an Alaskan cruise (which makes cruises sound as uncomfortable, boring and crowded as I've always imagined them to be) trying to solve a pretend crime. All the awkwardness you'd expect, what with Draco not ACTUALLY BEING HIMSELF. However, a real crime comes along, and the disguise is ruined.... Altogether a fast-paced, original, entertaining story with well-developed characters and a soupcon of ust and rst (although not quite as much as I'd like).

I've been on a Draco turned into a girl kick, and there's a huge dearth in this trope. But this one story (even if it's self-inflicted) purely satisfied a need.

The Changing Lights by lazywonderland E, 130k, WIP

Harry returns for an eighth year following the end of the war and soon realizes that although he's put his own animosity towards Malfoy aside, no one else seems to have done the same. When a hex leaves his oldest rival in the body of a female and ridicule doubles, Harry discovers that his hero complex is a difficult thing to fight.

Read through Ch. 4 (dying of UST) and hit subscribe so fast:  this is gonna be awesome!

Star Trek

Girl, You're Like a Weird Vacation by leupagus T, 8k.

It takes a lot of persuading to get "Spock" and "shore leave" to interact on any meaningful level.  //  "I am unclear as to why you wish me to participate in your, as Dr. McCoy puts it, 'whoremongering' while on Risa," she says, not even doing Jim the favor of looking away from her console.  //  Jim makes a kind of strangled noise. Bones is such an asshole. "First of all, it's not whoremongering, it's more like--"  //  "Also, it is irresponsible to have the commanding officer, the second in command, the chief medical officer, and the chief communications officer all absent from the ship simultaneously," she says smoothly. "There are numerous regulations, in fact, that prohibit such action."

Awwww.

Spock's Vagina by bigmamag E, 18k.

Spock exhibits increasingly strange behavior after a transporter malfunction and Jim wants to know why. Good thing nature has a flair for revealing the most asinine of secrets...

Lovely! Not as cracky as it sounds, Spock's actually in DANGER b/c of his new vagina, and Jim is worried sick. Angst, HOT sex... made of yum.  Favorite.

Supernatural

Fade to Black by bbelle E, 39k.

Dean always told himself that his feelings for Cas were brotherly. But now that Cas was temporarily parked in a hot female body, he couldn't deny it any longer. Which raised all sorts of issues, not the least of which was what would happen when Cas returned to his old form.

Wow, amazing story from a first-time writer. Dean and Castiel are hot and heavy while he's a chick, but when he switches back, Dean is swamped in a lifetime of being afraid and in the closet. There's a good bit of angst before they finally succumb (which is very hot, whoa).

A Blessing by Valinde (Valyria) E, 132k, WIP.

In which Dean and Sam are turned into women by a witch's curse and even though he's kind of distracted what with the Apocalypse and all, Dean comes to a few awkward realizations about his feelings for Castiel.  //  Set in Season 5. Temporary Genderbend fic. Apoc fic. Slow build destiel, not a pwp.

Oh, fuck this is amazing and intense and hot and just utterly gripping, and I hope to god the author is serious about being contacted if you want the rest of the story.... Favorite.  Worth reading even though it’s unfinished.

Attack On Titan

A Choice With No Regrets by Blue Sonnet (Nana_41175) E, 45k.

Bedding the Commander will not be easy...  //  How will a thug from the royal capital be able to walk forward alongside Humanity's Strongest, especially when the thug is a woman in disguise and in love with the Commander?

Fem Levi is lovely... still rather reacting to everything like a "scalded cat": slow to trust, sharply sarcastic, utterly shameless (which translates to loads of fantastic sex). But that's fine, because Erwin is getting exactly what he wanted... now he just has to make sure he doesn't lose it.