#as a he/it user myself i love clunk

[jash-updates]

Best Character Ever Just Dropped

[With a lotta lore scattered across way too many damn conversations ]

The Recorder Saga:

Okay long post over.......clunk <3

[trans-librarian]

Good Mornings and Model Kits

Tags: M/M, Fluff, Domestic, Established relationship, Team Fortress 2, Medic, Engineer, EngieMedic, Science Party, German Engineering

WC: 1.5k

CW: None this is the fluffiest most self indulgent garbage I have ever written. We die like mercs choking on the sugar of this fluff. You could consider a line or two hinting at suggestive buuuuut it's nothing explicit

Translations:

Mein Leibe - My love

mein bärchen - My teddy bear

A/N: Sooooooo I always promised myself that I wouldn't start writing fanfic because like idk I told myself that it would be cringey to write fanfic and that anything I wrote would suck but to be cringe is to be free and this image was too strong in my brain not to write and gods I gotta let myself be and create what I want instead of what I think is good enough.

I was super inspired by @creedei and his engiemedic art. I was low-key inspired by these posts: (I also love popitdontdropit on AO3 they're transmasc engie fanfic will make you ascend to a higher plane)

https://www.tumblr.com/creedei/727483531127914496/sketch-dump (third image)

https://www.tumblr.com/creedei/721589317420695552/cute-aggression

https://archiveofourown.org/users/popitdontdropit/

Also its not noted in the fic or relevant but my engie is transmasc I need everyone to know because its my favorite hc. I fell in love with creedei's engie. He's mad gender euphoria for me as a transmasc guy with the same body type (also because i simp hard for medic so seeing the character I project onto with the character I like is just *chefs kiss*). And pyro who is mentioned in passing uses they/she pronouns because I like when this shit is as queer as possible and I get to choose what happens in this story.

I'll probably also cross post this on AO3 at some point and link it here. Anyway, Enjoy!!! *runs and hides*

A quiet dawn begins to trickle light into the Red barracks. All is quiet on a seldom day off for the Red Team. Medic drinks in this treasured time. With a cup of tea in hand he turned towards the infirmary where the notes from his most recent experiment await review. He definitely needs to reevaluate the actual size of a gorilla liver before putting it into Demoman again. The muffled sounds of snores creates a lulling tune that echoes in the halls until...

tink tink tink clunk

tink tink tink clunk

"Hm?" Medic's ears perked up to the quiet sound

click click

tink tink tink

"Vhat is zhat?" Medic turns to follow the sound.

A tiny symphony of clicks and clacks emanates from deep in the halls past the common area and the majority of the bedrooms. Medic follows the sound through the hall.

tink tink tink clunk

tink tink tink tink clunk

tink tink clunk

Medic finds himself at the Engineer's workshop.

"He never usually vakes up zhis early on a day off at least not vithout vaking me for some.....private time" Medic smirks to himself thinking of Engie and his previous day off exploits in Engie's room, Medic's room, the infirmary operating table, the shower... Medic gets lost for a moment in a glow of those steamy memories and shakes his head bringing him back to reality. "Vonder vhat he's doing?" Medic thinks and slowly opens the door and sneaks into Dell's workshop.

Dell's back is facing the door as he sits at his desk. The small bulbed lamp on his work desk illuminates a halo of light around the man. The soft sweater he's wearing adds a comforting warmth to the glow. An etheral god tinkering with his realm. Like a moth to a flame, the medic slowly crossed the room beelining to the one place where he slots in perfectly. Once within reach, Medic wraps his arms around Engie leaning his head on Dell's shoulder placing a gentle kiss before resting his head.

"Good morning mein leibe" Ludwig cooed "What's got you up so earl-" tink "Ow! vhat vas zhat"

"Sorry darlin' sometimes the little bits go flyin' because of the nippers," Engie turned "Where did you get hit?"

"Why?"

"So I can kiss it better." Dell smiled.

Ludwig groaned at the horrible pickup line and smirked "I got hit right here" and points to his mouth.

"I'm very sorry" Dell chuckled. He grabbed the Medic's chin with his gunslinger with the lightest touch only he is capable of and gave him a gentle kiss. "What brings you by the workshop this early, dumplin'?"

"I was getting some tea and I heard the sound of..."

tink tink

"Ow!" another small piece of plastic hits Medic in the forehead. "...Zhat. I heard zhat and started following and it brought me here, mein bärchen. Vhat is zhis anyway?"

"Sorry again. The lil bits that come off the model kit pieces can go flying in unexpected places."

"Model kit? I didn't know you even were interested in these let alone where to find them."

"Pyro turned me on to these last time we went to town. They begged me to take her to this store with all these fancy plushies that are imported so they could get a new one for their collection. Real quality y'know. She ended takin' a while but ended up choosing this nice bear fox thing that I learned is called a tanuki and then there was this other one that was an armadillo and I was thinkin' about it but I realized I would never use-"

"Sveetie. You're rambling"

"Thank you" Engie laughs, "what would I do without you?" He places a hand on medics cheek and places a kiss on the other. "So Pyro showed me these model kits they have and they said I would love these and I grabbed a couple to keep 'em around. This is the first chance I've had to put one together."

"Interesting. Vhat's it going to be?" The Medic looks at the subject of their boyfriend's focus and sees....well a lot of pieces that will make something? Small red and black pieces of plastic twinkle under the work lamp. A large pile of injection mold sheets loom next to Engie's work area. Pieces are in various states of progress some starting to take shape like limbs.

"It's gonna be a robot. A lot of these kits are different robots couldn't tell you much because I can't read the Japanese on the box, but it'll look neat when it's done based of the pictures." Dell informed his boyfriend as Medic snuggles closer to listen to the Engineer tell him about his latest project. "This piece is gonna be one of the arms and it bends like this so you can pose it and change out the hands. And this is gonna be the leg."

"Can I stay and vatch vhile you vork?"

"Of course, moon pie!"

Ludwig pulls a stool over behind Dell so he can stay in his current position arms wrapped around the engineer sinking slightly into his plush yet muscular tummy and rest his head on his lover's strong shoulder.

The symphony of click and tinks resumed as Dell settled into a new rythmn of work. The sound of Engie and Medic quietly talking, giggling, or just enjoying the intoxicating calmness together.

Ludwig watches Dell's hands deftly click the plastic pieces together. He marvels at the precise and delicate movement of the gunslinger. The same robotic hand capable of crushing bone and tearing metal also able to pick up fragile things with ease truly is one of the greatest miracles the Medic has ever seen. He can't help and feel so much love when with Dell. He could just...

"Gah! Ludwig, did you just bite me?" Engineer cried out grabbing the side of his neck.

"I couldn't help it." Medic chuckled "You looked so perfect and it's so cozy. I had to bite."

"You're lucky I love you, moon pie"

"I know. Love you too leibe"

Dell refocuses as a faint set of teeth marks bloom on his skin.

tink tink tink clunk

tink tink clunk

tink tink tink clunk

click click click

click click

clunk

"Leibschen you put the thing on upside down."

"Are you sure? this looks right, dumplin'."

"Look at the picture the angular part of the kidney shaped piece should be pointing towards that half frisbee piece on the big piece"

Dell picks up the instructions and squints closely at them. Ludwig reaches his hand over and turns the upside down instructions right side up.

"Oooooooh. I see what you mean"

clunk click claclunk

"Thank you, sweetie"

tink tink clunk

tink tink tink clunk

click click

"Finally finished" Engie and Medic look at the little robot model in all its completed glory. The small figurine shined in the now brighter lit room each piece sanded perfect and each sticker placed precisely. The angular crimson robot sported a long bazooka in one hand and a clenched fist on the other arm. The sleek robot stands posed with one fist raised triumphantly.

"Let me try" Medic gently picks up the robot model and begins to fiddle with it. He pops out the gun hand and puts in a fist. He bends one leg while straightening the other completely. The arms are folded in front of it. After, carefully balancing the model on the table. Medic reveals the robot in a Katosky Kick. Dell and Ludwig chuckle looking at the cutely posed robot. They look at each other. Such a nice moment together. Engie leans forward and kisses Medic lovingly.

"Thank you for spendin' time with me, darlin'." Dell cooed warmly, "havin' company really made my mornin'." He gently places a hand on Medic's cheek and strokes it with his thumb.

Medic places a hand over Engie's. "Of course, my bärchen. I couldn't think of a better way to spend my morning."

Dell and Ludwig bask in each in this moment. Engie looks at his lover and sees the passionate and ambitious doctor he always fell for and keeps falling for every day. Medic sees the strong and beautiful inventor that fought to be here in more ways than one.

"Now vhat?"

"I don't know. Wanna go make a real robot?"

"I've got the perfect spider monkey brain I've been saving for a rainy day!" Medic squealed "You get the supplies. I'll get the brain and bring it back here" Medic planted a hard kiss on Engie's temple before running off.

[tiredg00se]

“I can’t lose you too!”

Hey yall, here’s a quick little Shane x reader thing I wrote, hope yall enjoy!

(ps I’m also on wattpad and ao3, same user for both if you wanna check it out, will be posting more fanfic there)

———————————————————

You awoke to the soft, gentle feeling of kisses being delicately placed along your shoulders and neck. Slowly and groggily opening your eyes, you register the sunlight streaming in through the window, which had been left cracked open, allowing the warm summertime breeze to lazily drift through your room.

“Good morning, sweetheart,” Shane’s voice softly rings out from his side of the bed, his arm winding around your waist as you turn to face his puppy dog eyes that you fell for so easily.

“Morning” you reply, stifling a yawn. You hadn’t slept too well last night, the heat leftover from the day along with the stress of running your farm had kept you awake long after Shane’s gentle snores began to fill the silence of the night. Another round of kisses come your way as you stretch against his chest, this time covering your face, starting on your forehead before tracing the lines of your cheekbones and ending up on your lips.

“I got up early and fed the animals this morning.” He murmured between kisses. “I hope that makes your job a little easier today.” You smile gently at him, wondering to yourself how you managed to get so lucky. You allow yourself to drink in his features for the millionth time, observing his mulberry hair, roughly tousled after a good night’s sleep and his stunning forest green eyes that never fail to remind you of the night you fell in love with him, as you sat together by the lake not too far from the farm. Shane was perfect, to you at least.

Noticing you watching him, Shane’s face broke out into a smirk. “Like what you see?” he said, waggling his eyebrows in a comedic fashion and laughing as you threw your pillow into his face in an attempt to get him to stop. “I love you,” he whispered as you crawled out of bed to prepare for the long day ahead of you. His eyes followed your figure as you stumbled over to the closet, rubbing your eyes and yawning hard whilst you pull on your everyday work outfit.

“Don’t wait up for me tonight, ok? I’m probably going to be late,” you say after a couple of minutes as you sling your backpack over your shoulder, tools clunking loudly as you do so.

“Big plans? Where are you headed?”

You quickly run a hand through your hair, scraping the loose strands away from your face, eyes darting down to your feet.

“The oasis. It’s Haley’s birthday this week and I need to find her a gift. You know how much she loves coconuts.”

“Is that so.” Shane sighed quietly, his face set with disappointment. “Honey, we’ve been together long enough for me to tell when you’re lying. You can never maintain eye contact,” he says quietly, studying your face as it contorts with guilt.

“Damn. Is it really that obvious?” You chuckle, watching as Shane nods his head gently, still waiting for your honest answer. “I actually have to go to the mines today.”

A deep, low moan escaped through Shane’s lips as worry began to set into the lines of his face, making him appear much older than he was. “Why would you lie to me about that?” he asked sternly.

“You get mad whenever I go”

“Because it’s not safe!”

“I can look after myself! I’m not Jas’ age, I know how to handle the mines! Besides, I have to go, we need the resources for the list of things that need repairing around here.” You sigh deeply, turning towards the door. “Look, if it makes you feel any better I’ll stay on the first couple of floors. I should be able to find what we need there.” You forcefully open the front door, but before you can take a step outside, Shane grabs your arm, holding it tight.

“I’m still not happy with you going”

You stare at him in disbelief, frustrated with his inability to compromise. You’re about to yank your arm free and storm out of the farmhouse when you catch the expression pulling at Shane’s face, a look that you’ve never seen before and one you hope you’ll never see again. After a couple of seconds, you find your words, still watching his face intently.

“Shane, let me go,” you say gently but firmly, but his grip only tightens until it’s almost painful. “Shane..?”

“I can’t lose you too!” he blurts out before you can finish your sentence, tears building in his eyes. You stare at him in shock as he finally lets go of your arm and walks over to sit on the front porch, head in his hands.

“I’ve already lost so much. I can’t... won’t lose you too,” he says in a small and muffled voice that makes your heart split in two. You walk over to sit with him, wrapping your arms around him and kissing his cheek gently. “You’re not gonna lose me, okay? It took a lot of work and pepper poppers to get you to like me, I’m not about to throw that all away”. You smirk as he laughs softly before wiping the tears from his eyes. “I promise I’ll be careful down there. I’ll come home the second I see anything dodgy, okay?”

“Okay.”

You give Shane a kiss on the top of his head, ruffling his hair slightly before heading off down the path that lead to the mines. Shane watched as you slowly walked away, further and further until you were no more than a spot in the distance. Anxiety began to gnaw at his stomach, but he pushed it away, reminding himself that you always came home. You always came back to him.

And you always would.

[takamakisu]

Alright so Royal absolutely robbed us of Mishima/Kasumi dynamic and I for one, am mad about it. The number one fan of the Phantom Thieves interacting with somebody who disapproves of their methods?? That would've been SO interesting. Like, she transfers in and people snub her because they think she's stuck up so Mishima befriends her cuz outcasts gotta stick together, yeah? But then when she brings up her stance about the Phantom Thieves, shit hits the fan. Think about it. In Mishima's eyes, Kasumi's viewpoint from the trailer of "the only one who can change your situation is yourself" would be absolutely RIDICULOUS because he was in a situation where that was literally impossible. He'd probably be angry too, because Kasumi has a loving (albeit a bit overprotective) father, and a bright future ahead of her so like.. how could she understand anything? At all? I think he'd really really dislike her because of that. Even with Akechi, he can't really argue that the Thieves aren't morally right. But Kasumi's argument REEKS of naiveté and he would definitely call her out on it.

...and because I could Not Stop Thinking about it, I wrote something. This drabble was written when the trailers dropped so uh..some creative liberty was taken but I hope y'all like it!

"Whoooooooo!"

 Mishima's holler could be heard all the way down the hall, reaching Kasumi's ears before she even saw him come into her vision; and he skidded around the corner, waving his arms a bit as he raced towards the first year. Students stared at him in bewilderment, but he paid them no heed. "Kasu-chan! Kasu-chan! KASU-CHAN!"

"What Mishima, what Mishima, WHAT MISHIMA--" she called back as she turned to face him, sounding annoyed, but he knew by now it was more playful teasing than anything. Yuuki slowed and stopped, beginning to chatter excitedly, and she put her hands to his shoulders. "Mishima-kun. Breathe." The boy took two deep breaths, and then exhaled as calmly as possible. 

"Good?"

"Yes. Now what's up?"

"The Phantom Thieves took down another baddie!!" he chirped, and her face crinkled with concern. 

"..oh." 

Mishima didn't notice though, and he almost puffed out his chest with pride. "And it's all thanks to me," he beamed, seemingly aglow. Kasumi tilted her head, furrowing her brows.

 "..what do you mean?"

"Well, you know, the Phan-Site? I got them on the map, pushed them through the door," he explained, moving his hands as he spoke. Now everybody's talkin' about 'em and things are changing!" 

"And so are you," she replied softly, shaking her curls. "Mishima, you're riding on their coattails. Sure, you give them suggestions, but they're doing all the leg work! Do you even care about justice anymore? Or is this just for a title you can parade around like a war badge? See, this is what's wrong with them, good deeds shouldn't have to be... grandiose and out there," Kasumi went on, lifting her hands, and a few students stopped to listen to the argument. "You equate justice with recognition and--"

"I should've known you wouldn't understand," he interrupted, and a dark shadow seemed to fall over his entire face. Kasumi silenced, looking bewildered. 

"Understand what?"

"You don't understand, Kasumi," Mishima accused, jabbing a finger, "What it feels like to be nothing. All my life, my existence has been a joke." He took an angry step forward, and she stepped back. "Nobody took me seriously, nobody was there for me. Not my parents, and definitely not my teachers. The Phantom Thieves saved me, saved Shiho, saved an abundance of people!! You've got your life already made, you've been a gymnast since middle school and everybody loves you, so how the hell would you understand what I'M going through?! How do you have any right to speak on this!?"

Mishima's voice was booming now, and more people had stopped. 

"The Phantom Thieves made me feel like SOMEBODY," he thundered. "Like I actually mattered for once in my life. I'm LIVING now, Kasumi. This 'change from within' doesn't apply to these sons of bitches who don't care about anybody but themselves. Your ideal doesn't work for them. 'The only one can change your situation is you'?! That's BULLSHIT! How can you have the GALL to say something like that after what JUST happened with Kamoshida!?"

Silence. A few students covered their mouths, quiets "oh"s chorusing in the air.

"And another thing," he went on, eyebrows furrowing, "The Phan-Site is not just 'giving suggestions'. I have to manage threads," and he started ticking off on his fingers," I set up polls to keep the community thriving, I ban trolls and people who incite drama and negativity-"

"Tell her!" somebody in the back yelled.

"I dig up information on suspicious people myself on top of sorting through a shit ton of recommendations and requests from users on the site, which I then relate to Phantom Thieves, and I do this for hours a day, easy. And what thanks do I get for it? NONE. But yanno why I don't even care? Because this is a work of passion, and after the Phantom Thieves saved my wellbeing this is the LEAST I can do for them. I may not be changing any hearts, but don't you DARE undermine my work as just 'giving suggestions' because it's JUST as important!" 

Hoots of laughter, clapping, and cheering erupted from fellow students, and Mishima's chest heaved with emotion as his tirade ended.

"Yuuki, I didn't mean to-"

"The Phantom Thieves, whether you approve of their methods or not, are changing society," he finished, pushing roughly past her with his shoulder. 

"So don't get in their way."

Kasumi's shoes clunked a little on the floor as she stumbled to the side, face just as red as them; and then she whipped around, ponytail snapping.

"Yuuki- wait- just... listen," she panted, chasing after him and putting a hand on his shoulder. "I don't think the Phantom Thieves are BAD." His dark eyes took on a glimmer of incredulousness, and he raised a black eyebrow. "I just think the way they're going about things is wrong."

"Then what do you suggest we do, Kasu-chan?" he challenged, turning to face her. "Huh? What's your solution?" 

"We teach people how to work through their issues. We teach them how to fight; how to be strong, encourage them to change themselves. It's not easy. But it CAN be done. Mishima...listen. You know the Phantom Thieves, don't you? Talk to them, tell them what I say. The change they're bringing about is not the change we need. What I'm saying is," and she patted the air with her hands, "What happens when society starts getting dependent on the Phantom Thieves and wants them to solve all their problems?"

"That won't happen."

"And how do you know?"

"Because the Phantom Thieves only go after criminals," Mishima countered. "They may not obey the law, but they at least have standards."

"Either way, we shouldn't be stealing people's hearts," Kasumi said gently.

And she lay a hand to her breast.

"We need to heal them."

"Oh yeah, lemme just sit down with criminal leaders, abusers and low down scum and encourage them to 'change themselves', 'heal their hearts.' This isn't a fairy tale Kasumi," Mishima snapped, although he just sounded tired at this point. "You can't just wish for things to get better and then bippity boppity boo, everything is all sunshine and rainbows. Wake up, and see reality, because you obviously don't."

And he stormed away, leaving one flabbergasted redhead staring after him in the hall. 

[soybeantree]

Top Ten Bias Tag

Despite the fact that it always takes us 10,000 years to ever do these tag games, @dragonsfire still tags us in them. Thank you Sara for never losing patience with us!!!!!!!!!!! Please know that this was not easy and that there was lots of screaming and tears shed. Also because there are two of us, you get two full lists and twice as many answers full of screams! Yay You!

Rules: write down your top 10 biases and answer the following questions.

hana’s list:

1. Do Kyungsoo | D.O., EXO 2. Park Jinyoung, Got7 3. Son Hyunwoo | Shownu, Monsta X 4. Kim Namjoon | RM, BTS 5. Shin Wonho, Cross Gene 6. Moonbin, Astro 7. Park Sungjin, Day6 8. Koo Junhoe | Ju-ne, iKon 9. Adachi Yuto, Pentagon 10. Ok Taecyeon, 2PM

Questions:

Between biases 1 & 4, who would you rather kiss? AHAHAHAHAHA!!! 😱😶 *breathes deeply while fanning itself* Wow, question number one and I already don’t want to answer. No but really I can’t decide between them.... ummm

Between biases 2 & 7, who would be your best friend? Jinyoung. He’s basically Em and Em is my best friend so there you go.

Between biases 5 & 7, who has the best voice? Gonna have to go with Sungjin because his voice is what pulled me into Day6.

Between biases 1 & 8, who is the funniest? Kyungsoo. His dry sense of humor and his ruthless jabs give me life. Though Junhoe is a dork who makes me laugh... so can I call it a tie?

Between biases 6 & 9, who would you date? Moonbin. His bright smile and laugh. He would just bring sunshine to my day everyday and dating him would just be easy.

Between biases 9 & 10, who would you do a collaboration with? Considering their both rappers and my rapping skills are well... what’s worse than shit??? Neither.

Between biases 4 & 8, who is the best dancer? Between Junhoe and Dance Monster Namjoon 🤔 I’m gonna have to go with Junhoe.

Between biases 3 & 5, who would you most likely marry? That would have to be Shownu. I mean we already have 5 kids together. It would only be right. I just have to convince his other wife that we should be polygamous.

Between biases 1 & 7, who would you most nurse when they are sick? That would be Sungjin. I don’t think Kyungsoo would let me nurse him. I don’t think he was acting in Annoying Brother. I think that’s how he would truly act when sick. But Sungjin I think he would appreciate my nursing.

Between biases 2 & 3, who has the best smile? Well um you see that would be - *crash* *clunk* *crack* - Sorry this user has broken all the bones in her hand and cannot type a response to this question.

Between biases 6 & 8, who would you vacation with? Junhoe - have you seen this precious bub on vacay with his Bros? Vacation with him would be so much fun!

em’s list ( can i just say that this was extremely hard because i tried to just pick one from each group...not possible. i know i’m going to remember one later and hate myself for it. also these can’t be in order because i love them all too much to be healthy tbh. ) 

1. mark tuan | got7 2. park chanyeol | exo 3. kim minseok | exo  4. lee hoseok (wonho) | monsta x   5. yoo kihyun | monsta x 6. jeon jungkook | bts 7. park jinwoo (jinjin) | astro 8. kim jiwon (bobby) | ikon 9. yeo changgu (yeo one) | pentagon   10. pyo jihoon  (p.o) | block b

Questions:

Between biases 1 & 4, who would you rather kiss? i think everyone probably has the same response to this and that’s laughing uncontrollably in discomfort. also some deep breathing. fuck mark or wonho? my first two biases. IDK! mark. jeez. yeah, mark. 

Between biases 2 & 7, who would be your best friend? honestly chanyeol. and hana and i have had conversations about this because chanyeol and i have very similar personalities/temperaments and interests. i think we would get along swimmingly. though hanging out with jinjin would be super chill. 

Between biases 5 & 7, who has the best voice? damn. i love you jinjin but kihyun has one of the best voices imo in kpop right now. so hands down kihyun. 

Between biases 1 & 8, who is the funniest? oh no. mark or bobby. tbh i spend most of my time laughing at their idiocy. bobby is more outgoing funny and i would most likely laugh at him more, even though mark has some great moments. 

Between biases 6 & 9, who would you date? you can’t tell that i’ve stopped breathing and i’m screaming internally. jungkook or changgu. sigh. my feelings towards jungkook are not as pg as they should be, let’s be real. plus unless he’s gotten over his shyness we’d both be so awkward. i think changgu is more of a romantic like myself and i think he would be a really sweet boyfriend. super nice and blush-worthy. 

Between biases 9 & 10, who would you do a collaboration with? what all is entailed in a collaboration? *finger guns* no, um probably p.o. even though i love listening to changgu sing, p.o’s voice is like so deep and i sigh and his hair and his dorky-ness. we’d have a lot of fun and he could teach me the moves to ‘shall we dance’. 

Between biases 4 & 8, who is the best dancer? ha, speaking of dancing. umm...wonho or bobby? have you seen the recent video of wonho at the mama’s? is that even dancing?! jeez. no, but both of those groups have such great dance styles it’s hard to choose. probably wonho. if he tried to teach me anything while wearing that black hat and those sweats i would have a nose bleed. end of. 

Between biases 3 & 5, who would you most likely marry? yeah so that’s easy. minseok. so his age adds a lot to the picture - an older man in kpop yes please. but way, way more than that after his few episodes on outside and the jyp show, i’m like i could live forever with this kid. staying at home playing video games and drinking. yes please. not going out or talking to people. just watching tv. yes. we’d be like silent for 10 hours and then say a couple words and then go back to silence. it’s basically hana and my’s friendship so it would be perfect. (also i just love pretty much everything about that kid.) 

Between biases 1 & 7, who would you most nurse when they are sick? well they are both younger than me so i’d probably try to mom them both. idk that’s hard. something about jinjin screams that he can take care of himself even though he’s only 21. and not saying mark can’t, i would just probably want to take care of him more. feed him and make sure he’s sleeping and not overworking himself. i’d do that for both, but more so for mark. 

Between biases 2 & 3, who has the best smile? wow why would you do that to me. put two biases from the the same group against each other. minseok’s smile is so damn sweet i can’t. but chanyeol’s can like cure every disease and problem in the world. his smile...there are no words. 

Between biases 6 & 8, who would you vacation with? jungkook idk. he would just be so much fun to take on vacation. like especially places that i’ve been. show him stuff he hasn’t seen and all that. he would be so hyped. idk it would be so exciting. i feel like i’d be smiling the whole time. 

Now to pick some victims mutuals whom we love and adore to also participate in this fun game. @tuanpumpkins @mirktuna @park9495 @hoodiejungkook @applehairtae @itsjjptime

[deythbanger]

Bible Arguments (7)

By DeYtH Banger "Life is not driven by purpose; purpose is driven by life. You don’t have a purpose-driven life; you have life-driven purpose. If you are still religious and are struggling with “what it all means,” then here is a purpose: get rid of the problem. Start a slave rebellion. Depose the dictator. Live your own life. In my books Losing Faith in Faith and Godless, I tell the story of how I went from evangelical preacher to atheist. It is not my task here to explain why I and millions of other good people do not believe in a god or an afterlife. I describe it all in great detail in those books. My point here is to show that whatever you think about the conclusions of atheists, you can’t claim that we lead empty, meaningless lives." - Dan Barker "I dedicated my life to the service of my imaginary lord Jesus. I now see how thin and artificial the pretense was. Imagining that doing nothing is actually meaningful, I gained immense unearned respect from congregants who desperately wanted someone else to tell them how to live, how to think, how to find the purpose of their lives. There would be no shepherds without sheep. Like Rick Warren, I found a “calling,” a “purpose-driven life,” due to the fact that so many people think purpose must come from outside themselves." - Dan Barker "It wasn’t until I got out of the master-slave ministry that I learned what real purpose is. Real purpose comes from solving real problems, not phony problems like “how can I be saved?” When I knew I would be leaving the ministry, after nineteen years of preaching, I had a concrete problem. I needed a job. I often hear from other clergy with the same dilemma: they have happily jettisoned their faith, but what do they do now? They spent years doing nothing of any real purpose: preaching, teaching, organizing worship, counseling parishioners, evangelizing, missionizing." - Dan Barker "As I wrote in Godless, some of them end up in education, such as teaching philosophy, or go into social work, which are fields commensurate with their experience. Some go into sales—a different kind of evangelism. Some start their own business. But people are not cats: it is not easy to land on your feet when you have been turned upside down." - Dan Barker " “That’s it. I’m outa here.” It was like growing up and leaving home all over again,23 though this time I was actually glad to get out of the house. I could leave the ministry because I had a job, a way out, a purpose-filled life. During those six months on hold, I had practically memorized the 68000 manual. My work was on the user interface, so I had to know what everyone else was doing. I had to see the big picture. Evangelism— inviting people to become servants—was a small picture. I never knew a real job could be such a blast. That project ended in about a year, so I needed another job. I heard that Safetran, a company that builds dispatching systems for the railroads, was hiring programmers. I drove to Cucamonga for the first real job interview in my life. (I didn’t have to interview for any of my earlier pastoral positions. I was invited to those churches, and all I had to do was accept.) I had limited experience and no degree in computers—I didn’t mention I had been a preacher—but the manager was impressed that I had programmed in assembly language." - Dan Barker "I never preached about homosexuality during my entire ministry. We were all sinners, I believed, so why single out any group? But now, suddenly, it did matter. I had something important to say, and it wasn’t about insulting the “holiness” of a god by “choosing” a lifestyle that is forbidden by the bible. It was about offending humanity. God may be a delusion but the intolerance and harm that comes from faith is real. Religious discrimination is something actually worth preaching against and the lack of fairness is a noble problem to tackle." - Dan Barker "I love that state of uncertainty when you know you have a problem that can be solved but you haven’t got there yet. I had felt that way when I was struggling with the question of the existence of God. I didn’t give up. “Something is wrong, and I can figure this out,” I often repeated. The brain goes full-speed ahead attacking the problem, then it backs off, looks around, combs the memory banks for similar or parallel situations. It gets ravenous for data, scavenging for clues. “Don’t give up, don’t give up. There is something to learn here.” After running out of ideas, you put it aside, sleep on it, try to sneak up on it laterally. During times like that, life definitely has purpose." - Dan Barker "As the server task problem showed, sometimes simplicity is better than complexity. A universe with a god is more complicated than one without it. In order to fix all the bugs in the God task—the absence of evidence, the problem of evil, the lack of agreement among believers, the lack of a coherent definition, the uncertainty of the interpretation of unreliable holy books, the oppression of women and minorities and heretics, the failure of prayer (flag not being reset?), the dangers of sectarian divisiveness, and so on—believers need to cobble together inelegant Rube Goldberg kluges, apologetics, theologies, and theodicies to keep it clunking along. But if we can excise the God task and simply say, “No thanks, I’ll handle it myself,” things will run much more smoothly. A radical faithectomy can work wonders on a sick system. We don’t need a God task to hand us our purpose. If you think purpose comes from a holy messenger who hands you a platter with a note saying, “Do this,” what happens when the communication breaks down? What happens when your requests are ignored? What happens when you realize that the scripture is a corrupted database? What if the messenger gets sick or dies? What do you do when you learn your religious leaders have been lying to you and your “master” is just a fiction? Is your life wasted? Are you nothing? Are you just a Frankenstein monster needing an outside spark to make you move?" - Dan Barker "Rick Warren is not the only Christian author who thinks we need to search for purpose outside of ourselves. Televangelist Joel Osteen, pastor of the huge Lakewood Church in Houston, puts down the human race with similar words: “God is in control and he has a great plan and purpose for your life. Your dreams may not have turned out exactly as you’d hoped, but the bible says that God’s ways are better and higher than our ways.”24 This simplistic rah-rah “just trust God” inspirational writing is supposed to make believers feel better, not by offering any practical advice, but simply by saying the words they want to hear. No matter what happens in life, somehow, God’s “purpose” (whatever that is) will magically occur. Isn’t that wonderful? Compared to unsophisticated preachers like Warren and Osteen, the philosopher and Christian apologist Dr. William Lane Craig is much more informed and articulate, but he is just as wrong. In his book Reasonable Faith, Craig claims that if purpose is not “ultimate,” it is worthless. “If each person passes out of existence when he dies,” he asks, “then what ultimate meaning can be given to his life?” He replies with the non sequitur, “Thus, if there is no God, then life itself becomes meaningless. Man and the universe are without ultimate significance.” How does it follow that if there is no “ultimate significance,” life is meaningless? Craig doesn’t make the connection. He seems to be confusing meaning with “ultimate meaning” (whatever that is). He thinks we are hammers. This is very much like Rick Warren conflating the two different usages of purpose." - Dan Barker

[persephoneandpomegranates]

flashbacks and old posts

I’m consolidating blogs so here’s some fun posts from when i was a senior in high school / freshman in college.

Sunday, July 22nd, 2012

whenever i go to the library

i always find the most embarrassing books at the very beginning so then i have to walk around with them while i peruse the rest of the library.

so then i end up grabbing up bunch of random, potentially interesting books to use as an awkward shield so no one can see that i have a stack of comic books and paranormal research and whatnot.

but then i have to check them out. even though we have self-serve, which i always choose, the librarian is always sitting right there just watching so no one tries anything sinister like stealing library books. and at some point i run out of normal books to check out and then i’m just like. … oh yeah tarot cards? i forgot i grabbed that book. that’s for my… dog… because he can read and he’s really into learning about new… nevermind.

#awkward , #library, #tarot cards, #embarrassing books

Monday, July 30th, 2013

procrastination is an onion

i like to create multi-layered procrastination.

instead of just putting off my summer homework or my online byu classes by watching tv, i like to create mind numbing projects like organizing my gruesome music or kindle collections, or cleaning my room.

but then i don’t want to do those either.

so then i realize that it’s almost august and camp nanowrimo is nearly upon me.

well, i can’t possibly organize my kindle and music collection with less than 48 hours to figure out plot, characters, and most importantly, how about genre.

but then.

it’s really hard to just do that.

so i have to get some creative inspiration, right?

so that’s how i ended up on neopets.

i swear, they used to have the most amazing writing boards and guilds. but now things just trudge along on the boards because there are less users. and i am all about the speed and instant gratification because hey, facebook.

but because the boards are so slow i find myself trying to feed my neopets in the meantime.

and then i’m like, oh i never got the pack rat avatar! i better start finding a bunch of useless items to put in my safety deposit box…

and now i have to work my way all the back down to my summer homework and byu classes by completing everything else first. because my neurosis says so.

my procrastination is an onion.

so many layers and it makes me cry.

#onion  #procrastination  #neopets  #nanowrimo  #camp nanowrimo #layered procrastination  #somebody end this miserable cycle please

Tuesday, December 18th, 2012

captain college

this one time, a girl desperately wanted to go to college.

but then she realized that she would have to do college applications and also ask for letters of recommendation.

that’s a lot of work.

so instead she watched tv and lol’d at the internet.

and spent like half an hour wikipedia captain planet because when i ws younger i thought it was freaking bad ass and captain planet was hot. or something.

the power of heart!

but seriously, can i put this on my application? heh.

#college apps  #applications  #college admissions  #captain planet

Thursday, January 24th, 2013

i am not even a good artist.

cute guy was like oh can i borrow your notes?

so i went to get my notes only to find them covered in doodles.

and not cool ones.

doodles of danny phantom.

…in a slightly suggestive v-neck.

well fuck me it can’t get any worse.

so i go to give the folder to said guy.

and i drop the folder.

papers. everywhere.

i am so slick. and by slick, i mean extremely socially inept.

my only hope is that my doodles are so terrible, that he can’t even tell what i drew.

but somehow, the fact that i also wrote DANNY PHANTOM next to the picture, does not make me feel optimistic.

#danny phantom  #bad doodles  #aww jeez  #socially awkward  #awkward #i like tags almost as much as i liek turtles.

Sunday, September 15th, 2013

Jesus, Marie

My life is a bunch of rocks.

No but really, I’m freaking out. I’m going to college in like three fucking days and its going to be my last day at this amazing parrot sanctuary I volunteer at tomorrow. All I want to do is sit in a corner and play with those fucking parrots and probably get bit at because I am not the best parrot handler but I’m  learning. Beyond the point.

I just feel so unready. All my friends are out there doing that college thing already or they’re like me and have a few days left but they are so ready. They want to meet new people and go to parties and join clubs and hangout with their new roommates. They want to get out and live life like a college student.

And I just don’t.

I just can’t picture it. Me doing laundry, making my own food, sharing a communal bathroom. I can see myself doing all these things, but it’s like watching a movie montage. It’s not actually me.

I don’t know if I can do this.  But dammit I’m not giving up. A teacher told my senior class to look around our classroom and know that while we were all going  to college, at least one person would drop out before they graduated. It wasn’t harsh, it was just a fact. The point was that it’s not for everyone and sometimes people learn that too late.

I’m just terrified that person is me.

But you know what? I love school. I love learning. I love procrastinating by organizing all my notes and color coding them when I could actually be studying which would be a lot more useful. I love commiserating with my friends during all nighters or even just glancing at my Facebook and see that twenty other people in that class are on Facebook at that ungodly hour, doing the exact same thing I’m doing- which is regretting that they put off a giant project or a huge midterm.

I am so excited that I’m going to get  to grow up and prove to my parents they did a good job raising me, despite my flaws: my laziness, my morning crankiness, the fact that I worry about everything.

I think that’s the problem, that last part. I always worry. My worrying has one level: defcon five. I think about how the supervolcano in Yellowstone could erupt at any moment and kill a gazillion people and also me. A heavy fear that wraps around me and my shaking hands inevitably weaves its way through thoughts like my immeninent demise. But it’s also what I do when I think about the scores on my latest math test might be. There’s no panic gradient with me. Just on or off. And it’s rarely off.

But you know what else I’ve learned about my worrying? Even when it is absolutely warranted, like when I get  that math score back-and yep I saw that coming- I hardly flinch.  I mean, “Ouch, I am not so good at this calculus thing” goes through  my mind, but I accept it and move on ridiculously fast, considering how much worry I put into it.

So that’s what I’m doing now. Taking everything and turning into the apocalypse.

College isn’t going to be what movie montage me expected. It’s going to be me figuring out how to talk to my roommate and still sucking at talking to boys and probably using too much laundry detergent and most definitely awkwardly trying to feed myself at 3am because I’m suddenly starving.

It’s not going to be easy. It’s going to be different  than anything I’ve ever done before.

But that’s okay. Because I can’t just spend my life sitting in my room wishing  I was 16 again and my biggest defcon five worry was never getting my license and ending up like my aunt who’s trapped walking and riding a bike or bus everywhere.

I can’t just stay where I am right now forever. That wouldn’t be living; it would just be existing.

What I’m saying is dammit. My life isn’t just going to be a bunch of boring rocks. It’s going  to be a fucking kaleidoscope of experiences.

I’m going to go to a college rager, even though I won’t  drink more than two sips of lightweight beer, just because if I don’t go, I’ll always wished I had. And you know what? Maybe I will get drunk and seriously regret it in the morning but at least  then I’ll know it’s not for me, rather than just being too afraid  to find out.

I’m going to join the pre veterinarian club even though I’ve heard it’s cutthroat and that scares me, I have every right to be there. And I’m definitely joining some nerdy fan clubs. I’ve always wanted to learn how to play D&D.

Who’s going to stop me? Myself?

Not a chance.

#jumbled mess  #college  #fuck yeah  #worries  #i can do this #even if i need to take a few xanax  #i got this

Sunday, September 15th, 2013

Whew

I feel a lot better now. Like I’m fucking capable of being alive or something.

#post rant #much better

Wednesday, September 25th, 2013

First Week of College

Great first week at UW.

So my life is pretty cool and all my worries about college have been unfounded. That being said, I did shrink some of my cotton shirts in the dryer doing laundry for the first time. Also, the lotion I brought for my legs is something I’m definitely allergic too. Oops. I have two little hives on my legs and both my shins are super itchy. Guess who is buying new lotion tomorrow?

I did almost kill myself in the shower today, though. I went to shave my legs for the first time, but because the shower is just a tiny little rectangle, I had to get creative with my acrobatics. Because I went to a yoga class today, I felt like maybe I could put my leg up on the wall and do a modified wall sit type of thing. So I did that and it seemed like a pretty good idea except for the fact my leg was a little lower than I meant it to be. No problem, I can just hitch my leg up a little higher and then we’re in business.

That’s where my shower took a turn for the worst.

As I was lurching my leg up, I lost a bit of my balance and my back slid down a little. Now I’m stuck. Well, shit.

So I struggle a little more and realize there’s no way I’m getting out of this gracefully. But I can hope, so I decide to slide slowly down the wall of the shower until I reach a point where I can adjust myself and stand up.

Of course, showers are fucking slippery when wet.

For a brief moment, I thought I was going to die.

Whooosh. Clunk. Fuck.

So now I’m sitting on the floor of a nasty ass public shower, butt naked of course and feeling sad about myself because that kind of hurt. I missed my head and whatnot so luckily none of my roommates found me bleeding and unconscious and also naked in the shower an hour later, but still. My dignity is bruised.

Anywho, since I’m already sitting on the floor of the gross shower and the five second rule has gone and past, I just decided to wallow in my self pity and shave my legs on the floor.

It actually worked out quite nicely except for the fact I probably have butt herpes now.

#how i almost died in the shower  #slippery bathroom  #college life #don’t shave your legs like i did #also you can’t get herpes like that but you probably can get something else horrible #can you get herpes in your butt