#as a lesbian i do Not like having male love interests shoved in my face explicitly and having to go on a date with one of them | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mizunetzu · 4 years

Note

Hi! I love your writing and I wanted to know if you could do one where the reader is trans masc and their dad is aizawa And no of 1a knows (except aizawa) until someone who went to school with them starts bullying them, and publicly outs them. And so aizawa makes a really big deal, and accidentally mentions that the reader is his kid, But everyone in 1a supports them and are more shocked when they find out their dad is aizawa. Thank you!!!! I know it's weird I just want validation tbh (´-﹏-`；)

Hi hi hi !! I wasn’t sure if this ask requested male pronouns (bc of the use of the word ‘trans masc’) or GN pronouns (bc of the use of the word ‘they’ across the request) feel free to educate me on that!! But for now, I used Male Pronouns!

——————

Platonic! Aizawas trans male kid gets outed

⚠️warnings - mentions of outing, deadnaming, me antagonizing shindo bc haha I needed a bad guy-

Pronouns - male, he/him

——————

Loading off the bus, (Y/n) stretched his arms and let out a huff. He rubbed at his eyes, and activated his quirk slightly to see if it still worked. It wasn’t like it was going to go away, but it became habit to see if he could still do it after a long time or not. A useless habit, you could say.

Though, it was important he still had his quirk, since today was the day he was going to take the Provincial Licensing Exam. Along with his classmates.

(Y/n) strolled around the area, being sure not to stray too far away from his own class and bus. There seemed to be many schools here. Most of them, upperclassmen. (Y/n) swallowed the lump in his throat and stalked up to Kirishima to calm his nerves.

Kirishima spotted him, giving him a curt slap on the back. (Y/n) coughed, adjusting his hero costumes chest area.

“Yo! Aren’t you excited for this thing? Whaddya think we’re gonna do?”

(Y/n) let out a timid laugh, his voice noticeably deep, but almost borderline androgynous. Like he was trying to force it to go lower than it naturally was. An ear perked up from somewhere behind (Y/n). “Yeah, I’m getting kinda pumped u-“

“Well-I certainly wasn’t expecting you to be here.”

That sickeningly sweet voice made (Y/n) scrunch up his nose. He didn’t turn around. Nevertheless, the voice kept going. “Eh, well, that’s a lie. Your face was practically plastered everywhere on tv.”

“Tell me-how’s it feel to go to the famous UA, Sayaka-chan?”

(Y/n) kept his eyes fixated on the ground, still facing Kirishima as he looked between the two, confused.

“Uh-I think you got the wrong guy, dude. This dudes well...a dude.”

“Mm?” The boy was taken aback, before smirking and leaning next to (Y/n’s) ear. He said, rather loudly, “You didn’t tell them, Sayaka?”

“Shut up, Shindo.” (Y/n) voice was quiet. It wasn’t as deep as it was ‘normally’, but it sounded very much less strained. Kirishima seemed to catch on, though he said nothing, out of respect. Though, Shindo did the exact opposite.

“Don’t be so rude, Yaka-chan! I’m just saying hi to my old friend!” Shindo turned to Kirishima, as the UA students started noticing their little show. That-and a scruffy man, who was now completely ignoring what Ms Joke was saying to turn his ears on hyperfocus. “Don’t mind her. I guess she’s on her period today or something.”

“Ne-what’s happing here? Do you know (Y/n)-kun or something?” Mina said. (Y/n) cringed at hearing his name. He knew Shindo was going to say it. Don’t say it. Don’t-

“(Y/n)? That’s the name Sayaka-chan goes by these days?”

His seemingly friendly smile made (Y/n) want to puke. Mina titled her head. “Sayaka? You probably have the wrong person. This is (Y/n).”

Shindo turned to (Y/n), his dirty, smug glare being hidden behind a innocent, confused smile. “You really didn’t tell them, Sayaka?”

Shindo took a deep breath in. (Y/n) pursed his lips. “Don’t fucking-“

“Sayaka here,” Shindo slung an arm around the boy. “She’s a crossdresser. She’s ‘trans’. Isn’t that great?”

(Y/n) noticeably stiffened, biting his lip harshly and keeping his eyes pointed harshly at the ground like it was the only way to keep tears from flowing. He clenched his knuckles in embarrassment.

Before (Y/n), Mina, or Kirishima could say something, a hunched over, dark figure placed a hand on Shindo’s shoulder. His nice boy smile dropped. Aizawa, uncharacteristically, looked like he was seething.

“Shindo. Kid. Get away from my son. Before I find your teacher.”

Kirishimas eyes widened while Mina gasped. Son? Shindo bit back a snarl. He smiled irritably and put his sweet tone back on. “What? I’m just talking to Sayaka-chan-“

“His name is (Y/n). If you really want to be a hero, I suggest not being a nuisance to my son or any of my students.” Aizawa grumbled.

Shindo scoffed. “I’m sorry I offended you, mr...scruffy man. I’m not sure which son you’re talking about, though. Don’t you have a daughter-?”

Aizawa reached for his capture weapon, eyes glaring a Ruby red. Shindou was about to lurch forward when Ms Joke stepped in between the two. She huffed, turning to Shindo first.

“Shindo-kun, should you be changing into your hero costume about now? Go do that! The class already went ahead without you!”

Shindo gasped, his persona back on like a mask. “Oh! That’s right! I’m sorry Miss! See you guys! Do your best!”

Shindo turned to (Y/n), in a low whisper. “See you, Sayaka.” And timpered off. Ms Joke turned to Aizawa.

“And you!” She put her arms on her hips. “Just because your kid’s being teased a bit doesn’t mean you have to reach for your weapon!”

Aizawa seemingly let go of his scarf he’d been clutching for a while now. His hair flopped down and framed his face once more. “He wasn’t teasing. He’s been bullying my son since his 2nd year of middle school.”

(Y/n) was awkwardly standing behind Aizawa. Since they had no intention of bringing him in personally to the conversation, he shoved his hands into his pockets. It was then he noticed the majority of 1A staring at him.

He paled. Flashbacks of Shindo publicly outing him whipped by his mind, along with the way he hid his disgusted glare when he came out as trans initially in his 2nd year of middle school. It was his third year and (y/n’s) second year, Shindo being one of (y/n’s) closest friends until he became a ‘crossdresser’.

Were his new UA classmates going to to treat him the same? Would all the girls and boys be hesitant to undress themselves with him nearby, because he’s a “lesbian/girl perving on the guys”? Was he going to have to mend all of these relationships from the start again? A bottomless pit dug into his stomach. He didn’t want that.

Stagnant air filled the atmosphere as everyone stared at (y/n). Already thinking of excuses, explanations, anything, he opened his mouth to speak.

“I-“

“You’re Aizawa’s son?!” Kaminari yelled, pointing a finger at (y/n). (Y/n) blinked, letting out a confused “eh?”

Mina popped in, flailing her arms in the air like Iida, but less stiff. “Dude! That’s so cool! You think you can tell him to round my 48 into a 90 from last weeks quiz?!”

Slowly but surely, his classmates started crowding around him, all talking at once. There were “Ohh-I can see the resemblance now!”s and “dude how are you still alive?!”s. Everyone seemed to forget what Shindo was talking about.

(Y/n) stood silent. “You guys...aren’t going to mention it?”

Most everyone stopped talking. Sero stepped forward. “Does it really matter? Your still our classmate, man. Plus, Aizawas your fuckin’ dad.”

Murmurs of agreement mused out from the surrounding crowd of UA students. (Y/n) smiled, attempting to answer every question about him or Aizawa as possible.

Ms Joke whistled from far away. Aizawa sleepily lolled his head towards her away from watching his son carefully, seeing if any students acted rudely in anyway.

“So your class didn’t know he was...y’know.”

“Mm.” Aizawa hummed. “Though, they seem to be more interested in him being my son than him not being ‘born a son’. M’glad that they’re bothering him instead of me. But knowing them, they’ll probably ask me some things after the exam.”

“I’m not meaning this in any mean way, but,” Ms Joke was oddly serious. “How are you so fine with this...change? It’s not like I’m saying it’s wrong, no, but you accepted it rather quickly and his transition happened pretty much overnight.”

“Does it really matter if he’s a boy or a girl or not? He’s still a pain in the ass. You don’t need a specific gender to be a problem child. As long as he’s keeping up with hero training and classes, I don’t really care.”

Aizawas eyes betrayed his words. They were dry, as usual, but they observed his students every move, every word they throw at his kid like he was stalking his prey. Like he was subtly saying “Say one misgendering thing, and I’ll expel you.”

In the end, Aizawa was a big softie. His child was happy, and that was fine by him. And, he’s less to deal with when he’s happy. His words, not mine. Ms Joke sighed, knowing her answer, and faced forward.

“Go out with me!”

“Go to hell.”

——————

I’m sorry for assigning a ‘dead name’ in this fic; and I’m sorry if this fic was actually a they/them one!! Sincerest apologies :(

1K notes · View notes

shittypaperwork · 4 years

Text

Secret Love

Pairing: Yelena x fem!reader

Genre: Fluff

Warnings: Smutty at the end!

------------------------------------------------------------

You weren't one to easily get scared or anything, but that woman let you feel shivers down your spine.

You were a Titan warrior but with no Titan. You helped Magath at teaching the kids and train with them, you were basically a kind of a teacher to them, especially to Falco and Gabi. You had good connections with them and often walked around with them and Reiner in the city of Liberio.

Basically everyone loved you. Even Zeke had a thing for you. You were always kind, especially towards children, you were intelligent like Pieck and had the strength of Reiner, kinda the perfect mix.

Therefore you had that beauty that nobody could deny, you were really beautiful. Even Pieck would date you. Porco was always flirting with you. You were even friends with Nicolo.

But nobody knew you were a lesbian.

But the one person that you didn't sympathized with was the one and only Yelena. She was just... different in many ways.

Firstly, you couldn't identify her gender. On first sight, she was male. But as she spoke, she was definitely a female. Then, she looked creepy, especially if she was in a bad mood, wich was everytime. You never saw her smile once. But you noticed that she was close to Zeke.

Maybe a little too close for your liking.

You were there before she was and Zeke told you about her. You thought you could welcome her and introduce her to everything in the HQ. But as soon as you saw her and she noticed you, she turned away. She just avoided you with a look of disgust in her eyes.

Since then, very little has changed. She respected you as a person, but ignored you all the way like she did on you first approach. You two had talked a few times, but it was never something personal. Just when you had to.

But little did you know that she didn't ignore you out of rudeness, no. Neither of disgust.

She was shy.

As she saw you, she didn't know how to approach you. And since she didn't knew anyone other than Zeke, she didn't know what to do. Zeke didn't told her about you.

In her eyes, you were perfect in every way. She wanted to protect you with everything she got. She just had... communication problems. She was never good in communicating. So you two never really talked.

You on the other hand feld a bit sad because it seemed like she would hate you, and you didn't like that feeling of hatred. Especially when you did nothing wrong towards her. But at some point, you didn't even tried anymore to talk to her. You just accepted how things were and moved on.

She didn't wanted that. She wanted to become friends with you, she wanted your heart. She loved you since your first approach. But she always thought that you were straight and would like someone like Porco or Reiner, because you always seemed so close.

----------------------

"The bell rang, so you can go, training is over for today kids! Meal so ready, so don't rush yourselves. Don't forget your homework!", You happily stated. You looked at Magath.

"Alright, we will see us tomorrow at 7am like everyday.", He said and began to pack his things.

"I think today was interesting for them. I mean Titanology is interesting, especially for Gabi or Udo. God I love them.", You said while smiling as you too packed your things.

"Yeah, Gabi loves Titanology. It's obvious. Good, we see us tomorrow at 8 am for maths. Have a good day." He said and turned away.

You were happy and you loved your job. Magath and you were good friends and you loved to teach Titanology.

You got out if the room and went to your private room. You threw your bag on your bed and changed in something nice. T-shirt and jeans was your favorite wear. You made yourself a ponytail and put your bandage around your arm. Then you went straight into the cafeteria.

The older ones had a separate place in the cafeteria from the kids, so they could discuss things. You always sat beside Pieck and Porco, your best friends. Yelena mostly sat with Zeke and Onyakopon. You had the perfect view of her.

"How was your day (y/n)? I heard you teached Titanology with Magath today. I bet Gabi was on 100%.", Pieck friendly asked.

"Oh yes, she totally was. She is very cute.", You said while sitting down between them.

"Yeah she totally is. Falco thinks so too I guess.", Pock said while turning around to him.

"Yeah, he is totally in love with her. I mean it's obvious, even Udo and Zofia could tell. He should be a man and confess to her already. I bet she likes him too. They are the perfect match.", Colt said and laughed a bit.

Suddenly, Yelena looked right at you. You looked back, but she turned to Zeke again as he spoke to her. Weird.

As soon as you were finished with eating, you stand up and got back to your room. You made it yourself comfortable in your bed, and looked at the ceiling. Why did she stare at you like that?

In the afternoon you took your things and made your way into the shower. You hang your towel on an Hacken.

It took some seconds for the water to get warm, and as soon as it did so, you enjoyed yourself and let that warm water run down your body. You enjoyed every second of it. You took your shampoo in your hands and massaged your head with it.

Then you opened your eyes to get the other shampoo bottle. You noticed somebody standing right beside you in the other shower. You looked to your right and saw Yelena.

Weird. Normally you never meet Yelena in the shower, because she only showers very early in the morning, before you're even awake.

You stared at the ground and took you shampoo back in your hands. You caught a glimpse of her body. Beautiful. She had a good body. Not a big chest, rather a flat chest, she was thin but not too much. You stared back at the ground.

"Is something up with me?", She asked you in her deep monotone voice.

"N-no I just wondered why you're showering at this time, I-I mean if I'm right you're normally showering early in the morning, r-right?", You stuttered and looked on the ground.

"Yes, normally. But today I slept at that time so I had no time to do so.", She answered.

"O-ok, I'm nearly finished, so don't worry.", You stated and rushed yourself a bit with showering.

As soon as you were finished, you gut your things together and wanted to get back into your room.

But a long arm hold you back and shoved you onto someone body. Yelena. She hugged you. Her head was on your shoulder, her chest nearly at your throat. Her arms were at your back, holding you.

You were shocked and didn't know what to do, so you just stood there and let her hug you. After some time, she let go of you, turned around again and shoved you back.

You were completely confused. But you turned around too and rushed back into your room.

Some days has passed since that happened. You talked with Pieck and Porco about that and they were just as confused as you.

You were on your way to catch some riffles for training. You shoved them in a special bag and got out of the room. Suddenly Porco was right in front of you, and out of your shock you fell right into his arms.

To your surprise, his face was right in front of you and you both looked at each other. He began to grin at you and neared his lips. You were too schocked to react.

Of course Yelena had to come across you two and that scenery. She looked right at your face with disgust. But there was something other in her eyes, she looked a bit... sad? But she didn't said anything, she just went her way.

"P-porco! What the fuck?", You nearly shouted at his face.

"Calm down princess, I just wanted to tease you a bit.", He stated. You looked at him angrily.

"Whatever. Now let me go.", You said and he did.

It was afternoon again. You sat on you bed, reading a book about Titanology, especially about Titanshifters. It was really interesting. You felt a bit like Gabi.

You wanted to go on the toilet. It was really beautiful outside with all these stars out there. You loved stars and the night. You came across Yelenas room, wich was surprisingly dark. Normally she would do some paperwork around this time. You stood right in front of her door, noticing a sound. It was crying.

The door was slightly open, so you decided to take a look.

She sat there on her bed with her legs spread, her palm on her clit with 2 fingers inside of her. They were full of her fluids. Her right hand was at her breast, massaging it slowly. Her left hand was covering her mouth, and tears ran down her cheeks. She looked awful. She didn't even notice you.

"Y-yelena? Everything alright?", You asked friendly. She looked at you shocked.

"Go away (y/n), you shouldn't be here.", She said in a sad, deep voice while looking at her bed.

"Why are you crying though?", You replied worried.

"Nothing important. I don't wanna talk about it. Go away. Now.", She said in a demanding tone. She didn't even seemed embarrassed. But she looked hot like this.

Intead of doing what she was saying, you just hugged her deeply. You noticed that she was trembling.

"Yelena.... I'm sorry. Please don't hate me anymore, I really don't like that. I did nothing wrong.", You apologized.

"No.. I'm sorry. I-I am just... shy.", She stated. You let go of her and looked at her confused.

"You and shy? I thought you hated me!", You exclaimed.

"I don't know. I just think you are very beautiful (y/n), and I know I am weird. I mean you have a amazing boyfriend like Porco, so don't mind my feelings.

"Porco? My boyf- What are you talking about Yelena?? I have no boyfriend? And I totally think you're beautiful too. Is that the reason for your crying?", You asked kindly. She looked at you shocked but hugged you again.

"Thank you (y/n). I love you.", She just stated.

------------------------------------------

-> Masterlist

#yelena x reader #yelena #yelana aot #aot yelena #aot yelena x reader #snk yelena

353 notes · View notes

teeth-and-tea · 3 years

Text

ANIME & MANGA I HAVE BINGED IN THE LAST MONTH: May 2021

I've Been Hunting Slimes for the Past 300 Years and Now Ive Maxed Out My Level: incredibly long name aside, cute af slice of life that suffers Same Face Syndrome. I'm still happy to watch it because of how feel good and fluffy it is though, Im probably gonna forget about it in two or three years tho. 8/10.

Don't Toy With Me, Miss Nagatoro: I found out this was a webcomic first and suddenly all the HORNINESS made so much more sense. A Femdom, Degradation, Humiliation, Dacryphilia Bullies to Lovers story disguised as a high school rom-com which, I'm not going to lie, misses SKEEVY CITY by mere inches on a regular basis. However, I'm a Dom/Switch and this entire relationship sets off my dom brain center like New York City just shy of midnight. So if you're into that sort of scene, this anime is for you. If not, it's still fascinating but you're probably gonna be a little put off by how mean the Girl!Bully is to the guy MC. Unless you find out something about yourself, in which case, congrats! Stay safe, sane, consensual, and learn about the traffic light system on top of safe words, I promise you'll have a better life in general after that. Still Ongoing, currently 10/10.

Fruits Basket: IM GONNA CRY I LOVE THIS ANIME SO MUCH???? The original anime came out when I was in... I think middle school and my parents were really strict on what I watched so I never got to experience the first wave and I never bothered to watch the show ever after I moved out of the house years later. However, now that I'm much older I honestly can say this is one of my favorite anime to date, and all the characters are charming, lovable, with their own problems that I can connect to or sympathize with, and I love the MC which is always a treat tbh. Except Akito. Akito can suck a sandpaper dick. I'm only on S2 tho so no spoilers! Anime 11/10.

Monster Girl Doctor: went in thinking it was gonna be a monster girl who's a doctor with a homoerotic assistant (her name is SAPPHY okay sue me for thinking it) and ended up watching the entire dubbed harem series. Honestly, I've seen worse and this one has consistent follow-through on interesting characters and backstory enough for me to shove aside the blatant under-monstrousness of the female monsters and the harem-ness of everything else. Dubbing is honestly really good, which is a treat, and the monster designs are not the worst and the MC is tolerable. Honestly, I don't mind having watched it! The mix of cgi and the traditional animation together work pretty strangely though, and it often doesn't flow super well. 7.5/10

So I'm a Spider, So What: Dubbed version which honestly isn't that bad. Took me a bit to get into it, but after realizing that it's got a mismatched timeline a la The Witcher, it made so much more sense. Heavily done in cgi, and you can definitely tell between the 2D and 3D animations, but not the worst in the world. I went in not expecting much but it ended up being an Issekai I can stand and even enjoy. On god has a decent story... with the spider. I'd be a liar if I didnt say I skipped some of the human parts just to get back to the best part of the show. 8/10.

Somali and the Forest Spirit: I'm so fucking nostalgic for this thing it makes me want to go and hug my dad. About a human girl under threat of being eaten with a monster-dominated world. Very obvious "humans fear what they don't understand" message but instead of the humans learning tolerance it's what happens when they get annihilated first so like, kudos for the mangaka for having the guts to do that. I cried like a baby regularly. It's really good, I watched the dub and ID WATCH IT AGAIN!!! 9/10.

To Your Eternity: Oh my god. O h my g o d. Fell in love on the first episode, ngl. About if an immortal being learned how to be a person from scratch. I love it. HOWEVER. Keep a box of tissues on you at all times because you're gonna need them. I'm only on EP7 because that's all that's out right now but just know. I love it. Not for everyone but certainly for my "what do we define as human and the human condition" ass. 12/10.

Those Snow White Notes: A sports anime without any sports. About shamisen playing which is cool because I never realized how cool this instrument was??? Its neat af. OP1&2 are by Burnout Syndrom so know theyre fire. Gonna be real, its pretty alright, but not extraordinary. You can tell they were using the characters as archetypes rather than actually characters which kinda kills a lot of the emotional value you could've had, but I'm still gonna watch it. It doesn't make me cringe as hard as other sports anime tho so I consider it toptier in that regards but if you're a big sports anime fan you might be bummed out by it. Every single musical performance is INCREDIBLE tho. A solid 8/10.

Toilet Bound Hanako-kun: THE ART OMFG IT'S SO GORGEOUS. Listen, if you took coptic markers and gave them an animation budget with some manga panel direction thrown in there, that's this anime. It's beautiful. Gorgeous. I'm in love with the aesthetic every second. Story? Really good. Characters? I love the MC and his evil little twin brother asshat. Demons? Not super imaginative but I'm carrying on happy as can be anyways. Dubbing? A bit shaky at times but I found the voices charming if a little off for some of them. I'm already waiting for the second season with popcorn at the ready. 10/10.

Prison School: I watched this directly after Hanako-kun and it was like I got slapped in the face by sweaty unwashed titties and some fedora wearing schmuck's piss kink. No character is likable or redeemable. I finished it, but at what cost? 2/10 and only because a character shit his pants and I laughed.

Sleepy Princess in the Demon Castle: watched this right after Prison School and it was NECESSARY tbh. Its so CUTE and honestly, im not even kidding you, the fucking funniest anime I've seen in months. I watched the dub and the VAs are having the time of their lives working on this anime not just giving it their all but literally just going ham. Its great. If I read this im sure id be bored outta my mind but the VAs giving it a joyous performance make it an insta fave for me tbh. 9/10.

Sk8 the Infinity: i watched the dub with my bro and I can confirm that its a spectacular show because we both loved it and we have vastly different tastes. Incredibly SUSPENSFUL AND STRESSFUL for an anime about skateboarding but we finished it in a single sitting tbh. The last episode is not dubbed for some reason but we still loved it. Like if Free! was less obnoxious but the only fan-service here is Joe ♡ a beefcake who owns my lesbian heart. I think there's exactly one named female character tho and I legit couldn't tell you what it was if there was a gun to my head. So, over all, 9.5/10.

That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime: I'm going to be entirely honest, I went in thinking it was going to be a boring isekai of no value. I was right about the Isekai part. It was honestly pretty interesting and focused on nation building like you're playing civilization rather than the usual "Get Stronger" narrative or "Get Some Pussy" narrative most isekais take which is delightfully refreshing. Granted there are flavors of that in this which means it doesn't alienate the big isekai watchers out there, but it's not the whole dish and it doesn't make me want to cringe the same way others do. You've got a slime MC just vibing and building a nation of monsters nbd. Does lose points for making the female monsters more humanoid than their male counterparts but makes them back by only doing perfunctory fan-service and nothing that makes me want to cry... except the butt sumo episode but in fairness it was all a terrible dream. Literally, the MC refuses to dream anymore after that. solid animation, decent voice acting, decent story, made me realize how HUGE this is in the Light Novel community???? There's like 18 fucking novels and that's WILD. 8.5/10.

MANGA:

Spirit Photographer Saburo Kono: a one shot special by the mangaka of The Promised Neverland! Honestly a really delicate touch of both super creepy and really touching, and I'm not gonna lie I'm bummed that this isn't a bigger project but the single chapter makes it a good taste for their style. I've been wondering if I wanna read/watch The Promised Neverland and now I think I will. 10/10

Deranged Detective Ron Kamonohashi: from the mangaka of Hitman Reborn comes this Sherlock and Watson derivative! Not even 20 chapters out yet with a sort of spotty schedule, I honestly love it even thought it's exactly as you expect. HOWEVER. Kamonohashi the "Sherlock" character uses mental pressure to kill all confirmed murderers and it's up to Toto the "Watson" character to save all those people before Kamonohashi kills them! It's just recently introduced a "Moriarty" family of crime lords (not a big spoiler don't worry it was obvious) so the tension surrounding Ron's past is amping up rn. Personally, I think the art is GORGEOUS, the characters engaging, and the story quick enough to keep my interest. Most mysteries are solved within a chapter or two so you're not stuck 20 chapters into one locked room mystery which is just peachy tbh. RN, 10/10. If this gets an anime, I anticipate a legion of fangirls who ship the two main characters along with their many friends. I've been alive too long to believe otherwise.

Don't Toy with Me, Miss Nagatoro: Yeah I read the manga after I watched the show. A slower build than the anime, but it works for the format, if theyd done the same with the show then I don't think it wouldve done as well. Honestly? Cuter tbh but just as horny. You dont start really LEARNING about your character until like, chap 65 tho and no real "drama" happens until like 75. A good chunk of the chapters are like 8pgs so its a breeze to get through. I love these slow burn idiots of the century. 9.5/10 because you can DEFINITELY tell the mangaka does hentai too.

Yugen's All-Ghouls Homeroom: one-shot by the mangaka for Food Wars, it's no wonder there's this constant perviness from the MC, a guy who can see and exorcise spirits. Takes place at an all girl's finishing school with KICK ASS monsters tbh, kinda bummed its not longer. The MC? Blatant monsterfucker who is also a CONFRIMED monsterfucker???? Idk i vibe with that single emotion. Everything else is hit or miss. 7/10 for monsters and cool concept, lost points for the MC very pointedly being okay with admitting he'd wait for the teenagers to be adults tho. Creepy af. Could live without that.

Hell's Paradise: I finished the entire 127chps in 3 days and I was really enthusiastic about it 90% of the time thinking about how deep it was and then I actually thought about it and I ended up being very neutral about the whole thing tbh. The art is fantastic tho, but DEFINITELY deserving of the M rating. Tits. Tits everywhere. But not tits to be ecchi over, no, monster hermit tits on beautiful women-ish figures. Now generally I give that a pass but a huge theme in the story is that men and women are "no better than one or the other" but like, lady tits are what you see 99% of the time. Men tits are few and far between. I call bullshit on most of the "deep" themes is what I'm saying, so it's like the mangaka was trying for those deep thoughts but missed the margin a little too far for my preference. That being said, the MC is a married man who loves his wife which automatically makes him my favorite character so like... idk so many good things, so many misses, but overall really spectacular themes and imagery. Unique but classic all at once. It's getting an anime and I have NO IDEA how much censorship they're gonna be doing but they're going to be doing SO MUCH. Oh yeah, and one guy is a plant/human hybrid who fucks a 1000 year old plant-hermit which makes him a canon monster fucker. And one canon non-binary character who I, a nonbinary, actually like. So like... gosh I've got mixed feelings. 8.5/10.

Choujin X: From Sui Ishida, mangaka to the mega hit Tokyo Ghoul comes this brand new manga!... Of one chapter, lol. Not really binge-y because it's just the one chapter out right now but I'm already keeping my eye on it. The grasp on anatomy in the art is PHENOMENAL and you can see Ishida flexing his art skill which is great. Can't give a true rating but I'm giving it a tentative 9/10 because I'm excited to see more.

Shag&Scoob: technically not a manga, its an ongoing webcomic I binged an subscribed to in one day and I just think it deserves more attention. Starts off funny with "what if Scooby Doo had a gun" and has been led to "what if all cartoons are aliens that survive and receive their powers by the humans that love them in an epic war with Martians." On god, its good. I finished the current series in a couple hours so it's a breezy read, highly recommend it. 9/10.

To Your Eternity: Yeah I watched the anime and then finished all current 143 chapters in like 3 days. GOD IM WEAK. I don't buy physical manga unless I know I want to remember the story forever and I'm already budgeting for the current books out. Yeah, this is a good series. That being said, definitely not for the faint of heart or those who suffer under common triggers like suicide, molestation, death, etc. It's all framed as bad and necessary to the story don't get me wrong, but it's there and has lasting affects on the characters. Incredible story telling by the creator of A Silent Voice. Keep tissues nearby at all times. 12/10.

#i've been killing slimes for 300 years and maxed out my level #don't toy with me miss nagatoro #spirit photographer saburo kono #fruits basket #deranged detective ron kamonohashi #yugen's all-ghoul's homeroom #monster girl doctor #so i'm a spider so what #somali and the forest spirit #to your eternity #jigokuraku #hell's paradise #choujin x #shag and scoob #toilet bound hanako kun #prison school #sk8 the infinity #that time i got reincarnated as a slime

45 notes · View notes

werevulvi · 3 years

Photo

I hope these show up in the right order. This kinda stuff is exactly what makes me feel lost about my transness. Like I was just trying to be nice and agreed with this person's post. I had no interest in being an asshole or arguing what bio sex, or even what butch, is. I was just declaring myself as a bio female because it felt relevant to the topic and how I relate to it. It amazes me how even the pro self-ID types are against self-ID when someone identifies in a way that doesn't suit their narrative, even when it's a trans person whose identity they deny.

They blocked me and I don't want anyone going after them, I just wanna rant. And not even about this specific post or person, but more so about trying to exist as a gender critical trans person in general. I've been thinking about that for days, weeks, perhaps months or even years already, so it's really not about this specific person. I guess it was just what triggered me to finally start writing.

I guess I feel like both most other trans people and most other gender critical people, view transness as incompatible with gender critical opinions, and like that makes me feel pulled in two opposing directions. But anyone of any ideology can be dysphoric and transition because it helps them cope. I don't think that my opinions, or my choice to hang out with radfems, means that I'm self-hating, or even that I'm going against the needs of my own trans demographic. My own trans demographic is just all too good at confusing wants with needs... generally speaking. I see sex and gender the way I do because it makes sense to me personally, and I don't even argue that it's necessarily the objective truth. I don't think there is such a thing. It's just my truth, my perception of the world.

That I can't make myself see myself as a man for real, despite my dysphoria and transition, doesn't mean that I think it's wrong to transition, or that my body is damaged by it, or that transitioning is useless. Because it's not. I love my transition and everything it has given me. I'm comfortable with my transitioned body. It deserves love, especially my love. And although I still struggle with some insecurities, I feel like I love my body. It's been... incredibly good to me. It's stayed very healthy, and even keeping up a strong immune system despite my smoking, self harm, careless sexual escapades, etc. I may still have a fraught relationship with being female, but as long as I transition, I seem to be managing it fairly well. Except then I have a more fraught relationship with society instead. Can't win, but that's life, innit?

I don't think either my transness or my political opinions are my real problem or ever was. I think it's society's constant fighting about trans people's genders, lives and choices, that makes me constantly cave in on myself. Can't handle the pressure.

It feels like it's only ever getting worse. Ten years ago my biggest concern was people not ever finding me attractive because I was turning myself into some kind of a freak, which luckily I was proven to be wrong about. Five years ago my biggest concern was nonbinary people trying to normalize asking people their pronouns, which made me fear that people would never leave me alone about my gender, unless I forced myself to be hyper-masculine, which I still worry about. Three years ago my biggest concern was having been stripped of my sex-based rights and dehumanized for how I had chosen to treat my dysphoria, which I still worry about as well, and now...

...my biggest concerns are being treated as a third gender, fetishistic predator who should be shoved away into gender neutral spaces, and I fear that one day medical transition will be taken away as an option to treat dysphoria if transness is continued to be rejected as a medical condition. My heart rate is ever increasing. Can I even realistically "just go on with my life" anymore? I feel compelled to do something, but I also feel like there isn't anything I can do. No matter how many people I try to "educate" about dysphoria and why transition is incredibly important, all the while being as humble as I can, I am seriously lacking behind the much faster spread of harmful misinformation.

Thing is, I do not blame gender critical people for spreading some of that misinformation. For example of trans women as fetishistic predators, which people apply to trans men when they still fail to understand that MtF is not the only kinda trans there is, or when we dare to be just a little bit feminine while passing as male. If anything, I blame the true sources of such harmful claims, which slowly increase my anxious heart rate, over years, turning into decades, of living as openly trans. I blame opportunistic men who pretend to be trans women for gaining access to women's spaces, be it prisons, spas, shelters, sports, what have you, when they cannot possibly be dysphoric judging by how happily they swing their dicks around women as if it's no big deal and make no attempt at transitioning, but also who cares if they are dysphoric, no one should behave that way either way. I blame the trans rights activists who say lesbians have to suck dick if it's attached to a trans woman, and those who say that gay men have to be into pussy and date trans men. I blame those who say that trans women are bio female by virtue of identifying as female, and claiming that they can get periods, by virtue of... bowel cramps?! I'd also blame those who try to change female specific language on behalf of shielding trans men from our own dysphoria, in the rare cases we'd end up getting pregnant or manage to drag our asses to the gyno office for a pap smear, which... most of us really don't, regardless of if you call us women or uterus-havers, sincerely, please stop. It makes people think trans women are trying to take over the term "woman" entirely for themselves, which of course they don't.

I could go on, but I won't, as this post is not about these things. It's more so about how estranged I feel from the people who spout these things, knowing that they think they're speaking for me and my supposed needs as a tranny. But I see no point in trying to educate them, as they won't listen any more to me than they would to a radfem, and again, I think this post in my screenshots shows just how unwilling they are to listen to me.

I guess living with my transition on constant display is what's hard, and I guess I just need to vent about that, as it's always judged one way or the other; as either me having made myself into a man, or that I'm a delusional woman who mutilated herself; and it's kinda hard to find a kind and sane middle ground, that perhaps I'm just a victim of circumstances, and trying to make the most of my own life, regardless of what the fuck I am. That social shit, on top of dealing with dysphoria, makes it really difficult to not hate myself, I guess. But I have tried to live stealth and that made it if possible even worse, as it felt like I was lying, keeping a huge secret that grew in me like a spreading virus.

What I want is to just live my life, and for neither my bio sex, nor my transition, to stop me from doing that. I want to work through the worst of my autism, enough to be able to pursue a career in some low-paying labor, blue-collar job; get a car and driver's licence, find a suitable husband to have a child and cats with; I want my own garden, an art studio; I want to build muscle to become strong and even more independent (and perhaps strong enough to carry that husband, but at least to carry myself), and so on. When I picture myself in that potential future, it is with this male-like appearance I transitioned my body into, but it is also as a mother and wife.

And thinking about all of that makes me happy, it makes me smile and feel joy, meaningfulness, hope... While thinking about arguing online with some miserable fuck, who's deadset on arguing semantics and calling me a terf, when all I wanted was to show a little bit of kindness, that "hey, I agree with you, you make a good point here, and I'm not here to fight" only to be spat right back into my face... just makes me feel sad. Whatever happened to diversity of opinion? It's gone, it became labeled as bad, and left people like me with no place to be.

There is no point in arguing with such people, or even trying not to argue. There's no winning in that, there's no reward, no accomplishment. It's better to walk away.

I know I just have to get over this, this inner conflict of going against my transness with my gender critical opinions, and that I'm going against my womanhood with my transition - and be stronger than the political climate that's pulling me into pieces. But if it's peace that I want... I can just forget about it. There's no road there. But I have trouble letting go of that simple dream. The internet is constantly manipulating me into thinking I have an exciting social life, when in fact it's non-existent, and the lie is destructive. With internet vs real life, I'm living a double life. One of those lives has a future, the other one does not.

I'm glad I made this rant. It actually made me feel better, and reminded me that it's still worth it. Being trans, moving forward, focusing on what is good and what can become good in life. And it reminded me that the internet is merely an imitation of life, a substitute for human connection, and can... as with much else, be both good and bad.

#discourse #venting #tired of being pulled in opposing directions #because im not the right kinda trans #or the right kinda feminist #i have to live with myself and i dont know how #focusing back on what actually matters in life #just thoughts #gender politics #ok to rb

9 notes · View notes

19thcenturyedgelord · 3 years

Text

TW: Transphobia, Homophobia, abuse, neglect, p3dophilia, s3xual assault, su!cide, alcohol

~Vent~

My mother is constantly saying that they is only two gender and is always dead naming me, the one time I get her to say my preferred name she rolls her eyes and scoffs as she says it.

My mother has told me my whole life that she owns me and that I don't get to make any decisions for myself, she was dressing me until I was disowned at 14.

My mother would threaten to k!ll herself is I ever did something she didn't like, this includes: having a panic attack, dealing with over stimulation, trying to dress myself, telling her to stop walking in on me while I was showering/changing, going to bed early, going to bed late, saying I was hungry, asking to be allowed to go outside, wearing my headphones, not being strictly christian/not eating kosher, ect.

My mother got rid of my pet hermit crabs without telling me and was constantly trying to release my turtles even though they would die in the wild and they were being taken care of very well with a large, clean tank and plenty of food and hiding places, a special light that was good for their shell, and a great water to land ratio.

My mother slut shamed me because I was wearing shorts that went above my knees (they were perfectly appropriate btw).

My mother would scream at me for hours if I got anything less than a 100% on a test and even if I did get a 100% she would ask me why I didn't get any extra credit even if there was none available and even if I'd did get extra credit she would ask why I didn't get MORE extra credit.

While I lived with my mother I had a diet of nothing but microwave meals and chips and chips because she spent all of her money on vape, cigarettes, and alcohol. I would constantly be near unconsciousness due to my low blood sugar because I had nothing to eat.

She has slapped me across the face multiple times, one time with sharp plastic that cut my chin, she did this as a punishment. One time she slapped me because my blood sugar was low and I was grumpy, this is how it went down:

Me: Hey I know you wanna talk right now but can I make some food first my blood sugar is low this should take me 20 minutes max"

Her: No, I'm you mother and your going to talk to me right now

Me: Can I please just get something to eat

Her: *yells at me wich causes me to get distracted*

Me: *spills uncooked mac&cheese because distracted*

Her: *yells at me then slaps me across the face*

My mother nearly beat me to unconsciousness because she was very drunk, I had bruises all over me the next morning but I was to afraid to say anything because I new she would scream at me and hurt me more.

She molested me daily, forced me to change in front of her, forcefully spooned me in bed for hours even after I said no, and would "playfully" spank me.

She was constantly talking about how sexy a 17 year old at her work was and even bought him vape. She would also talk about some of my friends like that and even tried to internet stalk two of them, we are all minors.

She would lock the door to the apartment and wouldn't give me a key and would force me to wait outside in knee deep snow for hours without any warm clothing because she stole it all. She also refused to drive me to school in -8 degree (f) weather because she didn't want to loose her parking spot. I was also forced to bike to and from band practice (with she forced me to to do because she wanted to live through me) in 30 degree (f) with heavy rain because she didn't want to loose her parking spot.

She would consistently make fun of me for reading or doing anything that I enjoyed because I was a "nerd" and a "looser"

She disowned me after she stole my phone, went through it and found out I was a lesbian.

I couldn't even go into my yard without telling her where I was going, if I didn't tell her I would be screamed at and not allowed out my room, for a day and then not allowed out of the house for two more weeks.

She routinely went through my phone and my belongings without my permission, knowledge, or consent, in case I had anything "suspicious".

I tried moving in with my dad and she sued him.

She stole my most prized pokemon cards, a bag, most of my clothes, all of my old toys, and over $200 from my in the span of two weeks.

My room didn't have a door and she positioned herself so that she had to go through my room to get anywhere else in the house.

She would frequently lock the bathroom door so that it was only accessable from her room.

I told her I like pop music and she called me a failure then continued to play her extremely s3xual, vulgar, music about dr*gs, alcohol, and r@pe.

From the time I was 8 she tried to force me to drink alcohol because its "cool"

She forcefully pushed me against a wall because I refused to give her a hug after she made an offensive joke and I called her out for it.

She screamed at me because I corrected her after she misgendered me.

I had to learn morse code just so I could speak to my friends without her knowing what I was saying.

When I started counseling because I wanted to k!ll myself and because I was having upwards and 15-25 panic attacks per day, she forced me to tell her everything that happened in counseling even if I didn't want to.

She always gangs up on me in fights but if I try to get back up she just yells at me more.

She refused to take me to the hospital when I had a concussion and forced me to go to school all week even though I could barely stand or speak and now I have verbal and motor tics which she makes fun of.

She would scream at me because I sit down in the shower even though I have arthritis. (Yes I have arthritis at 15, it runs in the family and before to long I might develop psoriasis, I have shitty genes)

I wasn't allowed to wear anything that revealed my shoulders, that was low cut, shower any part of my stomach or back, short that went above my knees, ect.

I wasn't allowed to get my hair cut below my chin because it " wasn't feminine enough"

I wasn't allowed to have anything that was "for boys" this included clothes, toys, books, stickers, blankets, posters, movies, ect.

She forced me to watch R rated movies with her even if I didn't feel comfortable watching them.

I wasn't allowed to have any friends over and I wasn't allowed to go to any friends house, the one time I did have friends over she judged all of them and tried me to stop hanging out with them after they left. My friends are all very good people and are the only reason I'm still alive rn, she was just mad that I was talking to people who weren't her.

She screamed at she because I got one (1) drop of dark green ink on her black coffee table that she got for free.

I wasn't allowed to draw any male characters because she was afraid I would get off to them or something idk (this was before I was forcefully outed)

She bought me a triple chocolate cake for my birthday once. I'm allergic to chocolate. She forgot my birthday the next year.

Anytime I would tell her about the terrible bullying that was going on she would tell me to get over it, even after I had been thrown to the ground and strangled by one of my classmates.

If I got into a new game or hobby she would either take it away or shame me for playing it.

She spent all day on the computer playing Sims 3 to the point where I had to feed myself, take care of myself, and play by myself as young as 5.

She screamed at me because while talking about Pokemon lore I mentioned how Arceus is the god of the Pokemon world and she said I shouldn't say that because it would "make god mad" ( I have nothing against christians or christianity btw, just the people who shove it down your throat like she does)

I wasn't allowed to eat or drink the last of anything (finishing a bag of chips, taking the last soda, ect.) If I did she would scream at me and slap me as punishment.

She threatened to forbid me form seeing my cousin (who for the first 11 years of my life was my only friend) if I ever "talked back" to her.

She wod frequently strangle me as a form of "tough love".

When I was 2 she tried to teach me how to swim by holding me under water over and over again, drowning is now one of my greatest fears. Luckily I did learn to swim with the help of cousin and granny and even enjoy swimming but it is hard for me to do things like wash my face in the shower or stay under water for more than a few seconds without panicking.

She never taught me how to cook but then would scream at me because I didn't know how to cook.

Her smoking inside and while driving has caused me to have some lung issues, she denies that she ever smoked near me.

She tried to take me away frome everyone in my life including my family and friends so that I could only spend time with her.

When I was in fifth grade she homeschooled me and forced me to do college lever reading, learn how to code, learn at least two other languages that weren't english, learn how to play guitar, do gymnastics, do jujitsu (japanese), do soccer, learn to sing (keep I mind I had no interest in music, but she did), do a digital homeschooling program set at a highschool level, and learn a bunch of useless skills like knot tying and making friendship bracelets because it was "feminine". This was in FIFTH FUCKING GRADE.

We didn't have a washer or dryer and she would never go to to town to get laundry done so I never had clean clothes.

If I had more that $10 I had to give the rest to her.

She tried to kidnap me once.

One time on accident I stood in a bull ant hill and got stung all over (if you don't know ants all sting at once), I was swollen all over and screaming in pain and she did nothing, not even give me ice or ointment, she just told me to be more careful.

44 notes · View notes

vintage-story-time · 3 years

Text

Her Mother's Lover

Chapter 2

Surprisingly, she slept quite late the next morning. When she had

finally showered and dressed, she found her parents were practically

through with their breakfast.

"Hello, sleepy-head," her father greeted her as she sat down at the

table. "How does it feel to sleep in your own bed again?"

"Nothing like it," she answered. "That's another reason I don't want to

go back to school, I'm too comfortable here."

"I think you're grownup enough to come to the party tonight," Minna said

looking appraisingly at her daughter. "It's just going to be some of

father's business friends, and mine too, nothing big."

"That's right," her father chimed in, "and if you need a dress you can

use the family charge account at Saks or Altman's as usual."

"Oh mother," Charisse said happily, "that sounds just too groovy, but I

guess I'm going to surprise both of you . . . I mean I'm still so tired

for some reason, I'd just as soon pass up the party and get to bed

early!"

"All right, dear," her mother said with a rather surprised look. "But I

do want you to get out today and get some fresh air, you look a little

pale to me."

"I intend to mother. I'm going to take a long walk in the park, say

hello to my favorite seals in the zoo, and just read on a bench until

it's time for dinner."

"I wish I didn't have that concert to rehearse for - I'd keep you

company darling. It sounds like a lovely, lazy sort of day that I

haven't had for ages." -

Charisse spent the day in Central Park, as she had planned. She departed

from her plans in one respect. She went to the Metropolitan Museum of

Art and viewed again their wonderful sculptures - her favorite still

being the nude Venus Aphrodite, rising from the surf in all her feminine

glory. She wondered why the statues of the naked goddesses held her

interest so much more than the statues of the naked men, which after all

showed every detail of the male sexual organs.

When she came home, she could hear her mother talking to someone on the

phone. Carefully lifting the extension phone in the kitchen, she

listened. Her mother was talking to a man with a deep virile voice,

someone who was a stranger to Charisse.

She heard her say, "There's this damned party of Charlie's tonight . . .

but maybe we'll be able to see each other anyway if I can get out of the

house with some kind of an excuse . . . "

"That would be wonderful, darling. But if you can't make it, we'll see

each other tomorrow night at my place."

"That's a date, dear," Minna laughed in her rich contralto and then hung

up.

Charisse replaced the receiver and thought to herself why Minna should

he making evening dates with the possessor of the virile baritone voice.

Could there possibly have been anything to those monstrous articles in

the scrap-books? Well, it was probably a business appointment, even if

it all did sound very sexy. It was out of the question to Charisse that

her adored mother would seriously play around with, or give her body to

a mere man . . .

She took a shower which had the effect of stimulating and refreshing her

body to the point where she felt ready to take on anything. Going into

the kitchen, she fixed herself a salad and some milk and cake and took

it up to her bedroom, determined to just listen to some good music and

then go to sleep early.

But sleep was out of the question for her as she began to hear the

slamming of doors and the bustling noises of the evening's party guests

arriving. There really weren't more than seven or eight people at the

party, but as the drinks began to take effect they were soon making

enough noise for a regiment. Wondering what was really causing all the

commotion, Charisse opened the door of her bedroom a bit and peeked out.

There was the usual drinking, small talk and boozy laughter going on in

the living-room. Everyone had already had dinner. Her mother was in the

hallway, diagonally across from her bedroom, talking to Jack Lennard, a

mature, rather thickset sort of man. He had been a friend of the

Mantells for years and Charisse remembered him with feelings of

distaste.

For one thing, ever since she had been thirteen, he had always been

feeling her up whenever he visited the house. He would put his hand on

her asscheeks and sensuously slide it up and down, his palms or his

elbows were always sort of moving up and down over her budding titties.

He made it all seem like some kind of accident, but Charisse knew that

he really meant it. If he had the nerve to boldly feel her sex organs

the way he did when her father and mother were in the apartment, she

wondered what would happen if they were out. She was glad that he had

never happened upon her when she was alone in the apartment. She felt he

would have raped her without the slightest hesitation. She really didn't

care much about Jack Lennard.

She felt the same way about his wife Cora Lennard, who was an attractive

brunette of about thirty-five with a voluptuous well- preserved body.

Her face was always faultlessly made up, even if it was a bit too heavy

on the mascara and lipstick. What Charisse disliked about Cora was her

constant air of supercilious sophistication and snobbishness. She

affected a kind of super-cool which she let you know in a subtle way

that nothing could break down.

Her mother and Cora were deep in conversation in the hallway near her

bedroom. As she strained to catch some of their "woman- talk" she was

surprised to see Cora press against her mother's body. One of her hands

descended to Minna's lush asscheek and fondled it, while the other was

actually grasping one of her mother's breasts - and squeezing it! Her

mother surprised her by covering Cora's hand on her breast with her own,

and smilingly removing Cora's hand from her ass, she whispered something

to her. Cora's wide mouth opened wider, her red lips emphasizing her big

white teeth. Amazed, Charisse watched her mother lead Cora into her

bedroom. Her curiosity overcoming her surprise, Charisse tiptoed to the

door of her mother's bedroom. The door was closed, but light was

streaming through the large keyhole of the door. Charisse knew from

secretly watching her mother undress and give herself beauty treatments

before retiring that the keyhole afforded a complete view of the room if

a light was on. There was a moment of guilty hesitation for her, and

then she gasped as she placed her eye to the keyhole. Maybe all those

gossip columns and nasty remarks had something to them! Maybe where

there was so much smoke there was also a little fire!

She tried hard to understand what she was seeing and even hearing

through the door. There was her mother lying back on the bed, her

expensive silk evening dress with its skirt tucked up to her waist. Her

beautiful legs were clad in sheer nylons, but she was wearing no girdle,

the stockings were rolled. And she was wearing no panties either! The

sight of her mother's alabaster white hips, her exposed reddish bush

hair and moist, pink cuntlips shocked her.

Hypnotized by the unusual sight she heard her mother laugh and say,

"You'll have to make this one a quickie, Cora darling. If we stay up

here too long, they'll miss us both in the living room!"

"You know I'm an artist and don't like to be rushed, Minna. Is Mr. Dildo

still in your third dresser drawer, under you slips?"

Apparently it was, because she saw Cora go to the drawer and take out a

peculiar looking harness - it looked just like a garter- belt with a

huge red knockwurst hanging from it. She saw Cora lift up her dress,

remove it and after taking off her slip and panties, she strapped on the

object she had called Mr. Dildo. Now Charisse recognized it for what it

was, a huge imitation red rubber male sex-organ, complete down to the

two testicles dangling from it.

"Take off your bra, Minna," she heard Cora say, breathing heavily. "You

know I like to feel them!"

As her mother removed her bra, she saw her lush white tits and their

huge pinkly erect nipples completely exposed to Cora's questing hands.

Cora began to knead them and she could see her mother's nipples

stiffening and erecting under the kneading and caressing of her titties.

She saw her mother spread her legs, her mouth forming an anguished

invitation. Cora leaned forward between her mother's legs and with a

grunt of triumph she shoved the dildo completely up into Minna's moist

vagina.

As Cora began to slide the huge rubber penis in and out of her mother's

pussy, she could hear her mother's gasps of pleasure. Then Cora's

movements became more violent and she could actually hear the threshing

of the two women's bodies. Her mother began to moan as if she were in

some kind of pain, while Cora's breathing sounded as if she were running

a race.

Suddenly she heard her mother whisper urgently, "Oh, Cora darling, shove

it all the way up my hole . . . ah . . . all the way up . . . I want to

feel those red balls slapping up against my cunt!"

Charisse knew that what she was seeing was a sex act, she had enough

lectures in hygiene at school to know that.

But she had only heard vaguely that women were sometimes lovers and that

it was a very immoral thing called Lesbianism that just didn't happen

among nice people. Yet here was her own mother being sexually entered by

a woman-friend! It was unbelievable and yet it was happening in front of

her very eyes. She had tried to imagine what having a man push his thing

into her cunny would be like, she knew that when you lost your "cherry"

it was supposed to hurt and that you bled from there for awhile. But

this sounded as if her mother were actually enjoying the big red prick

that Cora was shoving in and out of her vagina with savage rhythm.

"It's all the way up now . . . oh . . . keep ramming that prick up my

cunt . . . I just love it, darling . . . oohh . . . "

She was fascinated as she watched Cora fucking her mother. They were

hopelessly enmeshed in the sex act now, moaning and gasping as if

nearing the end of a grueling race. She knew she was watching something

forbidden and terribly immoral - who could ever imagine such a thing

between her adored mother and that loud brassy Cora Lennard!"

"How does Mr. Dildo feel?" she heard Cora ask her mother. "Is he far

enough up your wonderful cunt?"

"Yes, yes Cora, you're tickling my uterus right now - you can't go any

further. I just love the way you fuck me! You beat any man!"

She saw Cora's solid thighs, and the red dildo going in and out, faster

and faster up her mother's cunt. The whole thing was so exciting that

she began to have a funny feeling in her own cunny. She touched her

panties and felt that her crotch was all wet . . .

She still wondered how her mother could let a crude woman like Cora do

such an intimate thing to her. Wasn't her father the only one with the

right to put his prick into her mother's cunt?

Now their two bodies began to thresh up and down even more violently on

the bed. Charisse felt herself getting hotter and wetter in her crotch

as she watched.

"Screw me babe, screw me all the way!" she heard her mother practically

shriek. Charisse was aroused and bursting with curiosity about the

sensation that could produce this abandoned reaction in her mother's

body.

Unconsciously Charisse's hand crept down to her crotch and felt the

cloth saturated with hot seepings from her cunny. She worked her fingers

under the material and began to finger her pussy-lips, like she did when

she was bathing, or late at night when she couldn't sleep. As she

watched Cora's white asscheeks rising and falling, her finger began

working with the same rhythm in her own cunt.

Faster and faster the huge, red dildo, glistening now with her mother's

cunt-juice, rammed in and out of Minna's bushy twat. Charisse worked her

own fingers faster and faster on that specially sensitive spot, high

between her cuntlips.

"I'm coming, Cora, please fuck faster, I'm coming so good, Cora doll . .

. all the way up now!" her mother practically wailed.

"I'm going to shoot right up your hole baby!" Cora gasped. She squeezed

the big red testicles of the dildo and then almost screamed triumphantly

- "I've come, you bitch! I've come and shot a hot load in you! Doesn't

that feel good?"

Amazed, Charisse saw a white milky fluid seep from her mother's pussy as

they both quivered and contorted in the throes of their orgasm

Apparently, squeezing the balls of the dildo had ejaculated the white,

milky fluid into her mother's still twitching pussy.

Still crouching at the keyhole she knew she must leave now that the

immoral frenzy she had just seen was over. It would be terrible if they

discovered her at the door!

"Let's get back to the party, Cora dear," she heard her mother

whispering.

"O.K., just let me feel those darling tits of yours once more - and then

off we go to those damned squares outside!"

As she saw Cora mouth her mother's naked nipples, she turned away from

the door, straightened up and walked tensely into her bedroom. Confused

thoughts were struggling with the scene she had just witnessed. Her

mother, her idol, the strong beautiful woman she worshipped had just

engaged in an act with another woman which most people would deem

obscene. And yet, in spite of the evidence of her own eyes, Charisse

knew that her mother was good - and honest. No matter what a million

gossip sheets might say, she knew that her own mother could never do

anything basically wrong. She still was absent-mindedly fingering her

wet crotch, and as she thought of what she had just seen, she pulled her

panties down her legs. Without the thin material in the way, she began

to work her fingers up and down between her cuntlips. The warm feeling

in her pussy began to spread, and just as she thought of how her mother

and Cora had shrieked their comes, her cunt began to twitch violently.

Even though she had masturbated before, Charisse had never come like

this. Cunt-juice just seemed to ooze from her as she moaned in the

throes of the most intense come of her young life.

"Oh mother, mother, how could you," Charisse whispered to herself as her

come came to an end. Feeling her wet pussy, with cunt-juice actually

dribbling down her legs, she decided to take a shower and then go to

bed.

Tiptoeing to the bathroom, she noticed that her mother's bedroom door

was wide open; apparently Cora and Minna had rejoined the others. The

alcoholic gaiety of the party was still going on, but as she passed the

door to her father's bedroom, she stopped at the sound of his voice.

What was he doing in his bedroom while his guests were partying?

Someone answered her father and it sounded like a woman's voice. Her

curiosity was aroused, and boldly she bent down to the keyhole of her

father's room. Surely her father wasn't cheating on Minna and frigging a

woman guest from the party! Her father was nice, but really such a

weakling - she couldn't see him being aggressive enough to shove his

thing between a strange woman's legs. He probably only did it with

mother because she let him! So what on earth was happening? Who was

really cheating and being cheated on?

The sight that met Charisse's eyes this time astounded her. Her father

was lying back on the bed, his pants and underwear completely off. There

was a completely naked blonde girl on the bed with him, with wide supple

hips, generously curved breasts and a mouth that looked like a painted

red gash.

"You're warming me up Charlie," the girl was saying to her father. "Just

a little more of that . . . huh, sugar . . . "she wheedled.

Charisse was glued to the keyhole. A little more of what, she wondered.

And then she knew. The blonde had been sitting on her father's chest,

legs astride and facing him. Suddenly, she shifted her position forward

and opening her legs wider, she seemed to sit down on her father's

mouth. Her father began to move rhythmically as the girl's cuntlips and

his lips seemed to meet in a sucking, writhing contract

"Oh, you bastard," the girl gasped, you've got your goddamn tongue right

on my clitty and I'm coming, I'm coming!" . . . her wail trailed off as

her torso performed a series of shuddering contortions, her pussy still

being sucked by her father's lips.

As her father worked his face from between the girl's legs, he smirked

and said, "Turn about fair play, honey!"

Shifting her position the girl kneeled over her father's middle and then

she saw her grasp her father's penis.

"My but Daddy's got a bigger prick than I expected," she said to

herself.

She had never seen anything that thick or stiff in her life. The head of

it was deep-pink and throbbed like a living thing. As the blonde's big

wet lips closed over her father's cock, she heard him say, "Now give me

a real good blow job, Sheila. After all, if you want a part in one of my

TV shows, just consider this an audition . . . "

He said nothing more as Sheila's mouth sucked up and down his huge,

stiff shaft. All he could do, apparently, was to moan encouragingly as

the girl's cocksucking pace increased.

Charisse watched his glistening, tremendous cock with a feeling of awe.

She never would have dreamt that a mild-mannered man like her father

could be the possessor of such a virile dick. Maybe there was a good

reason that mother had married him after all. She hadn't seen any cocks

to speak of, except on statues or in text-books, but her father had a

cock you had to respect.

Suddenly, her father pushed the blonde girl's head away from his penis.

"I want to shoot in your twat!" she heard him say coarsely.

Again she gazed at his tremendous penis. It seemed to be at least nine

inches long, with the head looking like a big oval vibrator as it

quivered and glistened with Sheila's saliva on it. Her father's

testicles matched his cock, looking like two huge tomatoes covered with

hair.

Her father turned abruptly, and as the blonde Sheila spread her legs, he

thrust his penis into her pink, golden-bushed pussy. Sheila gasped as

his cock rammed completely up her vagina.

"Give it to me Charlie, shove it all the way up my twat!" Sheila moaned

as he started to fuck her in earnest, his cock ramming in and out of her

wet cunt with a steadily increasing rhythm.

The sight of a real cock, instead of a dildo, seemed to excite Charisse

even more as she watched the frigging, tossing bodies on the bed. She

wasn't wearing her panties, and she could feel the hot wet juice from

her pussy starting to dribble down between her legs, as she watched

Sheila being fucked by her father.

Charles Mantell, TV producer was thoroughly enjoying the frigging

"audition" he was giving the voluptuous young actress. He edged up and

spread her legs wider, so that his dong could plunge more deeply into

her moist, pink cunt.

Charisse felt a twinge of jealousy as she saw that huge stiff prick of

her father's going in and out of the blonde's cunt. If her father's cock

could give such pleasure to another woman, why was her mother allowing

her vagina to be invaded by a rubber dildo? Sheila's hips began to

writhe and twitch under the steady ramming of her father's cock. As

Sheila threshed from side to side, Charisse sensed that her orgasm

wasn't far off.

Unconsciously her hand dropped down to her own drooling pussy, and for

the second time that night Charisse began to keep time to a hump rhythm

with her fingers in her cunt. Her own pussy's excitement mounted as she

watched Sheila's heightening passion under the onslaught of her father's

dick.

She dreaded being caught spying through the keyhole, and masturbating

her own cunny at the same time . . . what was happening to her. And yet,

fascinated by her father's pistoning cock sliding in and out of Sheila's

blonde-bushed twat, she couldn't tear herself away.

"Give me your cock . . . ram it in up to Your balls, Charlie . . fuck me

. . . fuck me . . . fuck me . . . ." Sheila pleaded as she felt her

orgasm welling up within her vagina.

"I'm going to shoot my load . . . shoot my scum into that blonde cunt of

yours . . . " Charles Mantell groaned as he rammed his cock so deeply

into the blonde's cunt, that his balls literally slapped against her

cuntlips.

"Oh God . . . you're making me come, you're making me come Charlie . . .

shoot, shoot your goddamn load all the way up my cunt," the writhing

blonde literally shrieked as her lovely torso contorted into a come of

staggering proportions. Charisse could see the lips of her cunt

practically curling and sucking around her father's jerking cock.

"I feel your hot cum in me," the blonde sobbed, "Oh, shoot all that

sweet ball-juice to me, daddy, I'm gonna milk it to the last drop.

Her father moaned and now he was pumping his penis in and out

erratically - holding it in for many seconds, and then thrusting

convulsively into Sheila's pussy.

"I'm coming, too! I'm coming, too!" her father groaned as his arms

closed around Sheila's convulsing torso. Then, "Milk that cock, baby,

get the last drop out into that sweet pussy . . . "

Charisse kept watching them, her hand still between her cuntlips, her

finger lightly moving on her clitoris. Then she remembered she had been

on the way to the bathroom to wipe her pussy and continued to the

toilet.

She looked in the mirror and noticed that her face was flushed. She just

couldn't take her finger away from her clitty, and as she played with

it, her yearning, indefinable sensation built up more and more within

her. She knew she was on the brink of coming and stopped for a moment to

savor the sensation in her cunt . . to prolong it just as much as she

could.

For some reason, visions of Cora, the dildo ramming in and out of her

mother's pussy seemed to dominate her mind.

"I'll bet that dildo feels better than a man's thing . . . mother must

know best!" she murmured to herself as she began her autoerotic cunt and

clitoris massage once again.

She wondered why her mother was always foremost in her mind. Her mother

was definitely the strong, decisive person in her parents marriage. Dad

was a nice man, in a mild, namby-pamby sort of way. But Minna Mantell,

the singing star, overflowing with life, vitality and a positive

personality, was Charisse's ideal. She could feel much more, was

actually always closer to her mother than her father. In a sense, that

was one of the reasons she had impetuously run away from school.

If her mother would only make Charisse her private secretary- companion,

that would be career enough for her. And, in this fixation on her

mother, she realized that she was different from the other girls in

school who mostly bragged and talked about their fathers.

She had an idea she turned to her mother, because her mother somehow

seemed to be a stronger haven of security.

She put her hand back on her vagina and parting the wet lips with her

forefinger, she let it play on her stiff clitoris once again. The

hygiene teacher had warned all the girls against masturbation, but how

could something that felt this good be bad?

As she kept playing with her clitoris and her finger got wet, she

fancied that it was Cora's dildo that was going into her hot pussy. But

it wasn't Cora who was wearing the dildo, it was her mother Minna,

gently shoving the rubber prick between her cuntlips.

She came so suddenly and so strongly, that for a moment she thought her

body was actually going into convulsions. There was a veritable gush of

cunt-juice on her hand, her inner thighs, drops of it on the floor as

her cunt spasmed in the most shattering come she had ever experienced.

"Oh my God," she said to herself as the waves of the intense orgasm

began to recede . . . " If I can feel this way by just masturbating

after seeing people fucking, what will the real thing be like."

"Probably blow my mind!" she giggled to herself as she carefully washed

her pussy, dried herself off and left for her bedroom.

#Her Mother's Lover #Chapter 2

2 notes · View notes

hadesisqueer · 4 years

Text

I seriously laugh, even if it's not really funny (or maybe just a little), about how people just love to criticize Bumbleby even though their argument doesn't make any sense or just shows that they have double standarts.

The relationship is poorly developed.

No, it, in fact, isn't. Subtlely (although Burning the Candle isn't exactly subtle, and neither is the fact that Blake directly compared Yang to her former love interest) or not, the relationship has been hinted and developed since probably... The Red Trailer. Red Like Roses pt. II is basically foreshadowing for the four main characters. Black the Beast descends from shadows, Yellow Beauty burns Gold, anyone? Blake chose Yang as her partner the same way Pyrrha and Nora chose Jaune and Ren, their love interests. And do you really think Adam saying “I will make it my mission to destroy everything you love” and then Yang showing up looking for Blake as Blake looks at her terrified with her face zoomed and then they zoom Adam's face realizing it and saying “starting with her” was meant to be platonic? (Honestly, that was the moment when I confirmed to myself that the relationship was going to be romantic, and I've been proven right). Do you think that Yang admiting that she needed Blake in the same episode in which another girl admits she has feelings for Blake is a coincidence? Did you listen to All That Matters and said “yeah, this is about a gal pal”? Did you even watch vol 6 and 7??? Or just the show, in general? You probably thought Bmblb was about the bike.

I'm not going to make an analysis about their development or about all the Beauty and The Beast references, or about the Renora and Arkos parallels because there are already plenty of those. But honestly, dude, they're not even dating yet. They have romantic feelings for each other, yes, but the already well-developed relationship is still in development so just shut up and keep watching. Or not.

Second argument: It's forced. They're shoving it down our throats.

This one is funny because it doesn't even make sense. Like, how can something be poorly developed and be shoved down your throat at the same time? You were probably one of the few people screeching about Saphron and Terra Cotta, or Clover winking at Qrow, or Ilia being a lesbian, or May being trans, or Blake blushing and Yang gay panicking over her hair.

This one's a classic for basically every single LGBT character in any form of media. Watch whatever show you want, liveaction or animated, watch any film, read any book or comic, it doesn't matter; if they have an LGBTQ+ character, even in the background, you will find someone saying this. Just watch.

They were straight. They made them gay out of nowhere.

First of all, not everyone is straight or gay. There are orientations in between. I'm Spanish, and I always make this joke: the B in LGBT stands for bisexuals, not for bocadillo de atún (that means tuna sandwich in Spanish, and considering is Blake we're talking about, it goes well with the situation). Writers don't have make a character's orientation specific since the begining, because the character might not know. That's what makes it realistic, because it happens in real life. Self-discovery can happen at any age. You might know your sexuality when you're a kid, some people know when they go through puberty (like me), some people realize in their late teens/twenties, and there are people who don't find out until they're like fourty. And yes, I'm talking about Qrow and Fair Game in here. Actually, who says Qrow didn't know already he was bi or whatever and didn't have boyfriends and girlfriends in the past? The guy never said he was LGBTQ+, but he never said he was straight either. None of the characters have. You're the one who is assuming they're all straight because, well, heteronormativity. That's something I unfortunely do too.

Blake is already confirmed to be bisexual. She was in a relationship with Adam and had a crush with Sun and now. Does that mean she can't have feelings for Yang? Now, it doesn't. She has feelings for her. That's what bisexual means. She swings both ways. With Gambol Shroud. Come get some, motherfuckers.

When it comes to Yang, her sexuality hasn't been confirmed yet. We know she's wlw because she likes Blake, but she could be anything. For my part, until her orientation is confirmed (if it ever is, because I don't think it's always necessary to adress a character's sexuality; they like who they like, period), I think she's a lesbian. Yes, she made that joke about shirtless guys in early vol 1, but then she never showed interest in any male after that. Neptune tried to flirt? Uninterested. Shirtless Sun? Lame. Two huntsmen try to flirt with her? Pass. That joke could've been because she hadn't realized yet or maybe it was just that, a joke to annoy Ruby. I'm an out lesbian and I make jokes like that all the time to annoy my friends. But until it's confirmed, it's only a headcannon.

Them being a couple would ruin the team's dynamic because they would look more after each other and leave the other two teammates as second.

This one is just stupid. Yes, it would ruin the dynamic just like Arkos and Renora would ruin their team dynamic, right? And yet I still haven't seen anyone complaining about those two couples, just the same sex one. Damn, do you think having two sisters on the same team doesn't affect the dynamic already? (Pause to laugh because honestly, if I were Yang, I probably wouldn't take Ruby as a leader seriously. My little sister who I basically raised and who is nearly a foot shorter than me, ordering me around? I couldn't lmao).

It ruins the entire show

I'm not even going to talk about this one. If you think the show is ruined because two girls are dating, just stop watching it. No one is forcing you to ship the couple, you are allowed to dislike it and ship other things. Don't go around talking about “toxic wasps” (Pause again: who thought wasp is insulting? I laugh everytime I get called that) are obsessed with the ship because the ones who won't stop talking about it and making entire videos about how terrible it is and how it ruins the show are the haters. I haven't been in the fandom for much time, honestly. Quarantine made me watch the show. But the couple months I've been here have been enough for me to realize that the amount of toxic Bumbleby shippers is actually really small. Bumbleby shippers aren't obsessed with Bumbleby nor are they trying to force the writers to do what they want, the haters are.

#rwby #yang xiao long #blake belladonna #bumbleby #qrow branwen #clover ebi #fair game #saphron cotta arc

31 notes · View notes

piduai · 3 years

Note

I know this is kind of random, but what do you think of Utena as a character?

are you a mind reader? i was thinking about this yesterday. i think we have a connection, bestie. i don't like her. i don't like her as a character - i find her annoying and obnoxious, i know that the premise of the series is maturing and making choices, breaking out of your shell, revolutionizing the self by killing the old and being reborn, so utena being a transformative character in itself makes perfect sense, but i still find her constant hesitation and indecisiveness taxing. mind you it's been a loooong time since i last watched sku and i tend to just forget why this or that character pissed me off, i just remember that she's the brand of main character that i generally find insufferable and that most of the plot hinged on her being cool, popular, non-conforming, blunt, courageous, daring, but very hesitant and indecisive in her personal endeavors, which i personally find taxing. i also find her color scheme butt ugly.

but what i like the least is how people call her a lesbian, because she's not a lesbian, she is bisexual. and i know that it's semantics and nitpicking and whatnot, and it's up to interpretation to begin with, but she is not a lesbian and i find it sad and hurtful that sku has the 'the lesbian show' reputation while being about straightfucking by about 80%, and utena is considered The anime lesbian while being a textbook bisexual. she spends half of the show pining after touga, than the other half of the show pining after akio (whom she fucks, but i'll touch on it later), and in the last 2 eps the writers were like oh shit this is a ✨✨✨✨ show we gotta show that she cares about anthy too. the relationship between utena and anthy has always been shoved into the background at best to make space for utena's throbbing heart business so the way she was so desperate to save anthy in the last episode after neglecting her the whole time reads as a little disingenuous and ass-pullish to me. now do not get me wrong, bisexuality is amazing and needs to have stories told about it, my problem is not with the narrative, my problem is with people painting her as a lesbian when she spends so much time pining after men. lesbians do NOT do that. we don't have silly crushes on men or get our hearts broken by them. does not happen. people cry day in and day out about the erasure of bisexuality yet when they see a bisexual girl they're quick to brand her as a lesbian, which in the end will hurt both groups of people. not to mention that sku does have an actual, unambiguous lesbian in it anyway in the face of juri.

THEN AGAIN i can't pin the blame on the fans wholly because what other alternative do people have, especially people who want to see themselves on screen? sku came out in 1997 but still has the reputation of The lesbian show not because it's so good and did such a great job but because there's no alternative - 24 years and they didn't produce anything worthwhile that would even rival it. i've talked about BL many times and how it's a homophobic, fetishistic genre, but GL is no different; except of course besides the fetishistic homophobia there's the misogyny element. GL tropes are different from BL tropes because the way men fetishize lesbianism and women fetishize gay male homosexuality is different, and the former hits too close home for me so i prefer to avoid it when i can. i fully believe that there's no mainstream representashun in non-genre anime _specifically_ because BL and GL got so big and are making so much bank.

and ikuhara fits the lesbian fetish bill by 100000000%, which is why i despise him as an individual. i often think that the incestuous pedophile akio is his self-insert, otherwise he'd get at least some punishment other than abandon. sku is a difficult series to me in general because while it has its good moments, its great moments, and it does tackle some subjects in a clever, ingenious, interesting way, at the end of the day it mostly reads as the masturbatory manifesto of a weird creep who has a hard-on for teenage lesbians, which he approaches in a perversely voyeuristic way. i don't like the fact that it's a show in which all of the cast is 12-15 years old while the main baddie is supposedly late 20s and ends up statutory raping the 14 years old heroine (after it's portrayed as courting - not even full-on grooming - and consensual) and two 15 years old boys, that's on top of raping his own sister on a regular basis. and he's given a sob story too, like i give a fuck. all in all it leaves a bad taste in my mouth, and the fact that it's present in muh lesbian show even more so. at least they had the sense to not give the characters a child-like appearance, i guess.

back to utena though, at the end of the day she's a lonely, traumatized gender non-conforming kid who is taken advantage of, so i do mostly feel sorry for her, from an objective pov. but i don't like her. however anthy is the apple of my eye, my beloved daughter, one of my favorite characters in everything i've ever watched, and utena is important to anthy and anthy loves her, so because of that i have no trouble tolerating her presence.

#i did not intend to write an essay i'm so sorry #anon

1 note · View note

forkanna · 3 years

Link

[AO3] [WATTPAD]

NOTE: Most Japanese schools run Monday through Saturday. Also, thanks for keeping up with this story, despite my choppy update schedule!

Saturday slipped by awkwardly. That really was the best description for it, terrible as that reality was; the whole situation felt awkward.

The night before, they had parted ways at the train station. A tacit agreement had been reached that too much had happened in a single day, and they both needed time to process. They texted a few things about being glad they hung out that day, or what they were eating for dinner, but mostly they kept to themselves.

Rise had been hoping the next day would find them magically falling back together and not having to worry about how intense things had been in Shinjuku. Alas, they avoided each other. Neither seemed to want to be the one to reach out and initiate contact. Maybe they had told themselves that they were over it but clearly it was another matter to put so much raw emotion on display, then face the consequences. Plus, Ai had been very wasted and probably felt embarrassed she let it lead to so many things she definitely had not been planning for their outing. Rise could completely understand that.

But when school let out, she tried to screw her courage to the sticking-place and go find her maybe-girlfriend. Boyfriend? The whole thing still confused her, but she knew enough now to accept that said confusion did not at all mean she was disinterested. Far from it. She just had to figure out how deep her interest lay.

Ai was gone already. Probably to Shinjuku, or Okina, or Okinawa for all she knew. No new texts, either; she finally summoned her courage and sent a simple 'What are you doing?' but got no reply.

"Figures," she muttered as she stared at the screen, walking slowly toward Marukyu. "Why does she have to disappear on meeeee?"

"Who?"

"AAAH!" she gasped out, jumping into Chie's arms. The startled girl staggered and yelped as she tried to support Rise's weight, and of course, in the end they went down like a ton of bricks.

"HEY!" Hissing in pain, she shoved at Rise and said, "Get off! What are you DOING?!"

Rise hissed as well as she picked herself up. "Oww, my knee! I'm- oh God, where's my phone? What happened to my phone?!"

The two of them scrambled around on the side of the road, trying to figure out where the piece of vital technology had disappeared to. Once or twice, they even rolled down the riverside hill thanks to how slippery the light rain had made it earlier. Eventually, Chie turned up with it, and they sat panting with relief on the slope for a little while, trying to recover from the unexpected flurry of activity.

"You were… totally off in your own world, dude!" Chie panted, staring up at the clouds. "What the hell? You didn't even… hear me calling to you!"

"Ahh… hahh… I… sorry…" Chie was definitely in better shape than her. But she did finally manage to swallow and roll over to face the other girl, trying to prop her head up on her arm. "I've been… hoping Ai would text me back, and… my brain is…" She made a vague motion off into the distance.

"Yeah! Yeah, I get that one. For sure, believe me."

"Really? Because… you and Yukiko?"

"That's…" She did grimace, but finally just said, "Whatever."

"HAH! I knew it!"

"What's your problem, if you don't mind me asking? With Ai. Did you have a fight or something?"

"N-no, not really… a fight." Another deep breath to brace herself, and because she was still a little dizzy. "She told me something yesterday that… I mean, it has me really confused, and I just kinda wish somebody would tell me what to do and how to feel."

Chie snorted. "Thought Ai was really good at that. But okay, what happened?"

Rise told her, as briefly as she could. Which didn't end up being very brief. By the time she had explained the whole situation, they were stuffed into the back corner of Aiya, a couple of bowls of noodles and some sodas in front of them. The hot food would help them dry off after rolling around on a damp hill. Chie had plowed through a lot more of hers considering she was mostly listening and could let her mouth focus on that sweet sweet beef she coveted so much.

"Lembge geddiz straig."

"How about I let you swallow first?" Rise said with a wince. "I'm sorry, I just really can't understand you."

Chie nodded, chewed hard a few times, and gulped. "Ah! DAMN, do I love meat! Okay… what were we talking about?" When Rise let out an exasperated noise, she chuckled and said, "Just kidding. But yeah… I guess Ai's a guy. Weird."

"Right? Because I mean, look at her. How can she be a boy?!"

"Yeah! Like, I get what you were saying, about like… crossdressers on TV and junk. Some of them look like hell and some of them are really cute, but you can still tell. But Ai is like… he's a chick! Really, really a chick, like us! I'd never think…"

"Yeah," she agreed with a dejected sigh. "And at first I thought she was lying, Chie-chan, or trying to play a really mean joke on me, but now I don't think so. She was dead serious. And the way she talked about how hard it was for her to be herself when she was being told by everyone else she had to 'be manly'? I get that. Not that exactly but I know what it's like for everybody to be looking at you one way and wishing they could just… listen."

The tomboyish senior frowned down at her bowl as she stirred its contents with her chopsticks. "Pretty rotten. I mean, you weren't there for me having to confront my Shadow, but I used to have a lot more issues with that, too. I was jealous of Yukiko. That's stupid, she's my best friend! But she's so beautiful; I mean, you know, you've seen her. And I'm this fugly pile of dog doo."

"Aww, you are not," Rise said with a frown. "Don't say that."

"Nah, it's okay now. I mean, I know I'm not hideous but I'm not jealous because Yukiko is prettier anymore. That's just, like… I'm lucky to know her, and happy she gets attention. She deserves it." When she looked over and saw Rise's frown had completely turned upside down, she ducked her head. "Sh-shut up, I'm just happy for my friend!"

"Uh huh. But yeah… we've all been through a lot, and seen some really crazy stuff. I don't know why I freaked out so much about Ebihara now; so what if she is a boy? She's still a hotter girl than any of the rest of us will ever be, regardless."

Chie pointed her chopsticks at the idol. "Hey, watch it! You're lumping Yukiko in with the rest of us, and I know you're not trying to say she isn't the prettiest girl in Inaba!"

"Hey, hey, easy, Bruce Lee! Oh — right, did you get it?"

"Get what?"

"N-nothing." That was close; Yukiko would have had every right to be angry with her if she spilled the secret before its time.

"Riiight. Anyway, I… man, I'm really sorry for getting so cheesed off."

"You should be. I mean, you know I wasn't trying to diss anyone, I was just commenting on how pretty my girlfriend is. Boyfriend. Whatever."

"Yeah, that's gonna be a mind-fuck for a little while," Chie snickered as she took another huge bite. Where she put it all, Rise would never know. "So you didn't see it?"

"See what?" When Chie just stuck her pinky out and waggled it back and forth, eyebrows moving in much the same manner suggestively, Rise felt her face flush. "N-no, I did not."

"Awwwww, I was gonna ask about the size."

"CHIE!"

"Well, what else am I supposed to ask?!" she burst out in exasperation. "Like, clearly the rest of him looks like a chick, so that seems like the biggest difference! I just wanted to know how big that difference was!"

Pinching the bridge of her nose, she finally simply sighed, "I'll let you know. If I ever find out, I mean… since she's not talking to me today."

"Aww… yeah." Growing more serious, she stuck her chopsticks in the bowl and put an arm around Rise. "Listen… all dumb jokes aside, that sucks. But he's probably just trying to sort things out, like you are. I mean, you said he can't even figure out if he's a girl or a boy, so like, on top of having the hots for his new best friend? That's a lot."

Something about the way Chie kept saying "he" and "his" was bothering Rise. She knew it was technically accurate — again, assuming this was all true, which she had decided to believe for the time being — but it didn't sit right. Didn't Ai say she had known all along she was a woman, even when the world saw her as male? But she didn't want to get too bogged down by worrying about that niggling little detail just now.

"Okay, so I'm an idol, she's a fashionista. If she is a boy, maybe it's not as weird that we hook up — like, she could be my fashion designer when I make my comeback. Right? Or… if she's not a boy, then she can be, anyway, and… we could… date secretly."

"Secretly? I thought you said you would be Japan's first gay idol."

"I'd love to be, but I also don't know if that'll work. My management might not like that I'm throwing them a curveball. And… I guess…" Rise felt her eyes watering. That was stupid. "I don't want to stop being Risette."

Chie snorted. "Pretty sure you're going to be Risette forever, even if you don't like it. Which I thought you didn't, but like, you did say you're accepting it again."

"No, I meant that… if I really am interested in women, and I come out, I won't be 'Risette the idol'. I'll be 'Risette the gay icon', or 'that lesbian singer'. Dumb stuff like that. I've been thinking about it a lot, and that could be really cool, but it also means I have to give up having fans who just like me because I'm cute and I can sing. It'll get super political."

"Oh… yeesh, I hadn't thought about any of that junk at all. That sounds like a big pain."

Whimpering, she flopped down on her arms. "But it's important. Like, I've never thought it was right that queers in Japan don't have any representation really. Y'know?"

"But they do! Well… not a lot, I mean… Ikko, like you said, and that one drag queen, Matsuko Deluxe… and I thought I heard Utada might be? Or her teddy bear was…" When Rise just cracked an eye in her direction, she wilted. "Yeah, okay, so not that many. Seems like everybody's gay in the West, and over here it's like, five people."

"That we know about."

"Yeah. I never really thought that hard about it… but I guess… I should have."

A slight smirk tugged at the corner of Rise's mouth. "Why should you have? Hmmmm?"

"Well… you know."

"See? You can't even tell me! I'm right here telling you I made out with either a girl, or a guy who wears girl clothes better than me, and you still don't feel like you can tell me the truth! That's exactly it — we just don't wanna talk about it!"

Chie was poking the tips of her index fingers into each other as she stared down at her bowl, face glowing like a stoplight. Rise knew she was being a little mean, but she also had a decent reason to press this subject.

"Alright, forget it. I'm sorry."

"No, you're right, Rise-chan. I'm…" She took a deep breath, looked around the diner to make sure nobody was sneaking up on them. Still not that brave, it seemed. "I'm with Yukiko. We're together. And I don't just mean cool for the summer because we're trying stuff out; I mean forever. She's all mine, and she loves b-being mine, a-and… and I've never…"

Oh. Chie Satonaka, badass kung fu afficionado who helped save Inaba without anyone ever finding out what they did to protect the town… was crying. Rise sat up, brow furrowing hard as she watched this unprecedented phenomenon for a moment. Fat droplets of shame were rolling down to be absorbed by the collar of her ever-present green jacket as she gripped the skirt covering her thighs. How sad that trying to force herself to admit something like this was so difficult she couldn't do it without tears.

"Shhh," Rise soothed her as she pulled her into a warm embrace. And Chie clung as if she were a life raft. "It's okay. I'm on your side, okay? Remember? Investigation Team forever. Everything's gonna be fine."

That was all they could accomplish for a little while. Even though she was hiccuping and trying to keep her voice down, it seemed now that Chie had let down her ever-present shields it was all tumbling free in a rush. So Rise just held her, trying not to add to the mess by breaking down herself. Poor thing.

She only hoped time wouldn't make a liar out of her. Because if everything wasn't fine for Chie and Yukiko… then what chance did she and her boy-girlfriend have?

~ o ~

Ai did eventually get back into contact with her later that evening, via text. Her first order of business was a heartfelt apology for blowing her off all day. They both did the dance of trying to reassure the other person that it was no big deal, and they both just needed some space to figure things out.

AI: But I really threw you for a loop and we both know it

RISE: Definitely

RISE: I'm sorry I just don't have a gentle way to agree you really fucked me up

AI: Wow do you have to put it like THAT?!

AI: Sounds like I was doing it on purpose!

RISE: I know you weren't!

RISE: Seriously… I'm sorry I just needed to figure things out

AI: Yeah… me too

AI: Look can I just call

RISE: Oh uhhhhh I guess?

No answering text. Just her phone ringing, and the poor idol dropping it and leaning away on her bed. Feeling silly that it had startled her so badly, she scooped up the phone and answered. "Hello?"

"Do you hate me?"

Rise's blood froze in her veins as she sat up straighter. Ai sounded bad. Not just unhappy, or like she had been crying, but she sounded as if she were completely out of energy. Swallowing hard, she whispered, "Ai-chan? Are you okay? What's…"

"No." A little sniffle. "I… I fucked up."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm… so I've had this… I…" Rise didn't interrupt; just gave her time to collect her thoughts. "I'm bulimic. I've been purging on a regular basis since before junior high, and I thought I had it under control, but… today wasn't good."

"Oh…" Wincing at the notion, she went on, "Oh, that's terrible, I'm sorry. I mean, I get why you would, you… thought you needed to."

Silence. Then in a quiet whisper, "It's been worse lately. And I'm not stupid, I know it's because of you and me; I'm… messed up about it, and instead of confronting my feelings, I binge and purge. And it's disgusting, and I'm disgusting, and I haven't been able to keep anything down since… Shinjuku."

"Oh. The beer. That got you started again, didn't it?"

"Like I ever really stopped," she snorted harshly. "But you're not wrong. I've been pretty good about just sticking to my diet the past few months, and now I'm stress-eating all the time, and then I have to purge because my system can't handle it, a-and…"

When her words devolved into unintelligible noises, Rise just soothed her, "Wait, wait, it's okay. It's okay! I mean, I might not get all the, um… boy-girl stuff, and whether or not we should be… u-uh… whatever we should be." Wow, eloquent; pull it together, Rise! "But I'm used to bulimic girls."

"What? I mean, you are?"

"Sure. There's a ton of them in the entertainment industry; we're all supposed to look like adorable little stick figures who are always happy. It's hard. I'm just lucky that I'm naturally kind of lean, but I still do have to watch what I eat. Other girls aren't so lucky — like you. Just like that. So…"

Ai sounded so desperate for affirmation when she pleaded, "So I'm not broken?"

"No way! I mean, maybe you shouldn't do it anymore, but like, it happens all the time. You're not crazy, and you're not 'broken'. I mean it."

"That's… that's the most I've believed anyone when they told me that in a long time." A long sigh. She still sounded weak but Rise was trying to suppress slamming the panic button. "Dad tells me that, too, but he isn't very convincing. I mean, he's my dad, he has to say that shit."

Giggling softly, she laid back on her bed and picked at a fray in the comforter with her painted nails. "Yeah, I get that. Well, with my grandma. My parents don't even call."

"Bitches." They both laughed. "Um… I think I'm gonna make myself go get some juice… but um… before I go…"

"Yes?"

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why are you so nice to me? I don't deserve it. No," she cut her off, and Rise almost laughed that her friend had predicted she was going to protest. "Don't argue, you know I'm a hot fucking mess. And I boss people around, and I… but you pushed until I let you befriend me. And I don't get it. I thought you were a nerd and a glutton for punishment, and you still showed me all this gross love until I caught it. Why would you? Why waste all that time on a gender-bending jerk like me when you could have picked any-"

"You're not a jerk. You're not a mess. And you are not alone."

The next word was a sob, but she was reasonably sure what she said was "Rise". So she just waited, curling up on her sheets more tightly with the phone pressed to her ear. Waiting, until finally… "Thank you."

"Hey, no big deal. Just… don't give up, okay? I'm in your corner, and I'm always going to be. You got a friend in me."

"Why does that sound so familiar?" she half-laughed.

Curling up with a warm smile on her face, Rise purred into the phone, "I have no idea, Ebi-chan. But I mean each and every word."

To Be Continued…

#we'll face ourselves #persona 4 fanfiction #saphir de lune #p4 fanfic #rise x ai #forkanna writes #jess the writer

1 note · View note

nickelkeep · 5 years

Note

1 fake relationship with 42 getting back together. Destiel please, ily, thank you

Oh hey, I’m sorry this took so long my love...To Confess

Sam entered into the War Room, finding Cas and Dean squabbling like the old married couple he had always pictured them to be. Dean was clearly losing whatever argument they were having this time around, his arms crossed across his chest, and his eyes stuck in a perpetual eye roll.

"Dean, it doesn't make sense."

"Cas, it's science fiction. Fiction doesn't have to make sense." Dean looked to Sam for support. "Please explain to Cas why Han Solo using Parsecs as a measurement of time actually makes sense."

Sam opened his mouth and shook his head. "I'm not touching that with a ten-foot pole." He turned his tablet around and laid it on the table in front of Dean and Cas. "So get this... We've got couples missing at a couples retreat a couple states over."

"Which lovely lady you going with?" Dean uncrossed his arms and smacked Cas' hand away from the tablet so he could scroll through the article.

"Can't find one. Charlie's still not back. Jody's taking Donna on a hunt."

Cas looked up. "Well, there was a lesbian couple that went missing. You can choose a male partner."

"I was hoping you'd say that, Cas." Sam shot a look at Dean before smiling at Cas. "Will you do me the honor of being my fake husband for a case?"

"Excuse me?" Dean shot a look at Sam.

"Well, I'm not asking you, Dean." Sam shook his head. "That's... Yeah, no."

Dean crossed his arms over his chest again. "Why are you and Cas going? Cas is my best friend. He and I can pull it off better than you two can."

"You realize that you're going to have to act like you love Cas, right? You might have to kiss him. Act like he doesn't have cooties."

"Sam, Dean. I'm standing right here." Cas looked back and forth between the two brothers. He picked up the tablet from the table. "Actually, it might work better if it is Dean and I." Cas turned the tablet around. "The retreat is aimed at couples who are having issues within their relationship. Dean and I can easily act that out."

"Done." Dean smiled smugly at Sam.

Sam held his hands up in defense. "Sorry, Dean didn't realize you wanted an excuse to play house with your best friend."

Dean blushed and rushed towards his room, muttering something under his breath about needing to pack. Cas cocked his head in confusion, watching Dean leave. He turned back and looked at Sam. "What was that about?"

"I have no idea, Cas." Sam smiled smugly. "None, whatsoever." He held his hand out for the tablet. "Let's get you and Dean set up for a vacation, shall we?"

xxx

The drive was relatively smooth. Dean and Cas pulled into the campground, finding the main office to check-in without too much difficulty. Before they entered the building, Cas stopped Dean. "Should we hold hands or something?"

Dean ran his hand down his face, nodding before taking Cas' hand into his. "Sorry if it's sweaty. Been driving this whole time."

"It's okay, Dean." Cas lightly squeezed Dean's hand, sending a strange sensation through to Dean's heart and causing it to speed up.

"Let's do this." Dean pulled open the door and let Cas walk in first, their hands still together. They walked up to a counter where a bored-looking teenager was busy texting on their phone. The teenager shot them a look and held up a finger, spending a few additional moments focusing on their phone before setting it down.

"Welcome to Camp Geode River. Can I get the name your reservation is under?" The teenager's monotone made Dean scoff.

"The Pages? Dean and Castiel?" Cas offered.

The teen clicked away at the keyboard before nodding. "Yup. Sec." They turned around and grabbed a folder, a pair of keys, and a bag. "There's a map in the folder, but you're in cabin ten. Pretty easy to find, just straight down the road, all the way at the end, no turns. There's a personal itinerary for you two in there, plus a group one if you want to socialize." The teen rolled their eyes. "The bag is a welcome gift from management." The teen forced a smile. "Have a great time at Camp Geode River."

"Thanks." Dean rolled his eyes and grabbed the bag while Cas took the folder. The pair headed back out to the Impala and took the brief drive back down to their assigned cabin. Dean parked the car and looked at the log cabin and nodded in appreciation. "Doesn't look too shabby."

"I believe if it were shabby, it would be uninhabitable, Dean."

Dean opened his mouth to respond but decided against it. Instead, he chose to get out of the car and grab his duffel bag out of the trunk. Cas took his key and headed up to the door, opening it and heading inside. Dean followed close behind and found himself pleasantly surprised by the interior.

"Well, then. This may not be so bad, after all." Dean's eyes fell on the bed. "Except for that. Is that the only one?"

"It is a couple's retreat, Dean. They expect couples to share the same bed."

"Uh." Dean rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. "Well, you can have the bed. I've slept on plenty of couches."

Cas' eyebrow went up. "Dean, you know I don't require sleep. You can take the bed."

"Yeah, I know you don't need it, but it looked like something you were starting to enjoy. Don't think I haven't seen you catnapping around the bunker." Dean crossed over to the bed and dropped the duffel on it.

"I can go without sleep for this hunt, although I appreciate the offer, Dean." Cas opened the folder and started looking at its contents.

"So what's on the docket for tonight?" Dean moved next to the bag and fell back on the bed. "Oh dude, you're going to regret giving up the option to sleep on the bed. This memory foam is almost as good as mine."

"I'm fairly certain I'll be okay." Cas looked up for a moment and smiled at Dean. "Thank you, though."

Dean blushed, and let his head fall back on the pillow. "So, what's the fancy stuff in the fancy folder say?"

"Well, there's a meet and greet tonight for the people who came in today. So perhaps we should go to that."

"Are members of the staff going to be there?" Dean questioned.

"Looks like it."

"Cool. When is it?" Dean pushed himself up on his elbows as he felt Cas sit on the edge of the bed.

Cas pulled out his phone. "Starts in about an hour. Need to grab a shower?"

"Hell yeah."Dean sat up and crossed to the shower. "I hope the dress code is casual. I only brought the FBI badge. I didn't even bring a monkey suit."

"I'm fairly certain your lumberjack attire will fit in here perfectly." Cas quipped, earning a genuine laugh from Dean.

"And yet you make fun of it all the time. Want to borrow one?"

Cas started to take off his trench coat and suit jacket. "I might as well." He began untying his tie, causing Dean to swallow hard.

"Well, you know the saying, 'When in Rome...'" Dean tried to look anywhere else, but his eyes found themselves drawn to Cas' hands.

"Did you know that saying is actually about ways to worship at Church?" Cas finished removing his tie and draped it with his jackets.

Dean's eyes snapped back up to Cas'. "I had no clue, but I'm sure you could tell me all about it."

"I doubt you're actually interested in that history," Cas smirked and unbuttoned his shirt. "Do you have a spare tee shirt as well?"

"Yep." Dean turned away from his best friend and focused on the word friend. He opened the duffel and pulled out a light grey tee and a flannel that was in shades of blue. He turned back around to a shirtless Cas, hoping that the angel didn't notice Dean's eyes tracing down his chest and abs before resting on his tattoo. "Huh. Forgot about that." Dean said aloud.

Cas looked up at Dean and tilted his head before looking down at his own torso. "Oh."

"Sorry, didn't mean to..." Dean stumbled over his words before shoving the shirts at Cas. "Throw those on, and we can explore the campground before the Meet and Greet thing. I'll wait for you outside." Dean rushed out of the cabin, his mind going in a hundred different directions.

Cas followed out of the cabin a few minutes later. Dean fought to keep himself from staring at his best friend and focused on a spot on the ground.

"Dean? Are you ok?"

Dean looked up to find Cas standing in front of him. "Yeah, just tired from all the driving. I'll be ok after some sleep tonight."

"Okay." Cas didn't bother hiding the fact he didn't believe Dean. He offered his hand. "For appearances?"

"Right, for appearances." Dean took Cas' hand and allowed himself to be pulled back up the road. "Where to, Casanova?"

Cas looked over his shoulder and shot his own version of a bitchface at Dean. "We'll start heading towards the Mess Hall, as that's where the Meet and Greet is."

"Think they'll have pie?" Dean asked, trying to distract himself as he caught up and walked side by side with Cas.

"Is pie camping food?"

"Pie is an everywhere food, Cas." Dean winked before feeling a flush to his cheeks. "So, what's our story?"

"We've been together for 7 years. We're having issues."

Dean nodded in agreement. "Keeping it simple. Makes sense. Are we having issues, though?"

"Us, as in for the case? or Us, as in back at the bunker?" Cas stopped and looked at Dean. "You tell me."

"Nope." Dean shook his head. "My head hasn't been clearer."

Cas simply nodded and continued walking. They made their way to the mess hall, both of them having left the map back in their cabin, and found that the Meet and Greet was already underway. Several couples had come in that day and were already making the rounds. They were introducing themselves to the staff and each other.

Dean and Cas looked at each other before shrugging and moving in to follow suit.

After spending time talking to staff, Dean and Cas found a bench away from the rest of the group to sit down on. "Explain to me how we do this all the time?" Dean looked at Cas and huffed.

"Isn't it usually Sam who does the so-called nerd work?" Cas inquired. "You make Sam do the interviews, you make him research. You prefer doing the grunt work." Cas wrapped his arm around Dean's shoulder.

Dean's eyes went wide. "Uh, Cas?"

"We have to be a couple, Dean." Cas leaned in closer and reminded. "If we're not playing the part, it can look suspicious."

"Right. Play the part." Dean nodded in confirmation.

"Are you sure you're ok?" Cas pulled his arm back and tilted his head.

Dean opened his mouth to speak when a voice called out from the primary grouping of people.

"Alright, ladies and gents!" A staff member had stood up on a bench to get everyone's attention. "Time to head over to pit! We've had a pig going all day, and for those who are kosher or vegan, we have some other options available for you!"

"You heard the lady, Cas. There might even be pie." Dean wiggled his shoulders and stood up, offering his hand down to the angel.

Cas muttered something under his breath, causing Dean to lean down and ask him to repeat himself. "Nothing, Dean. Let's go see if they have your pie." Cas took Dean's hand and stood up, walking side-by-side with the hunter as they headed a few hundred yards over to a particular cooking area.

The pair grabbed food and sat down at a table that was mostly staff, trying to catch all the gossip they could about the missing couples, which came with false reassurances that they were safe. As they enjoyed their dinner, Dean had Cas keep an eye on the other pairs. When the first couple decided to call it quits, Dean also declared it bedtime for him and Cas, earning himself a grumpy eye roll.

Once back in their cabin, Dean pulled out his laptop and handed Cas a tablet. "Alright, so what have we learned?"

"It's four couples that have gone missing, and it was after their therapy sessions." Cas sat on the sofa and slouched down. "You know we're not going to be able to get anything out of the therapists. They're bound by patient-doctor confidentiality."

"Think they keep notes?" Dean pulled out his phone and called Sam, putting on him on speakerphone.

"You guys kill each other yet?" Sam asked as soon as he answered the phone.

"Seriously, Sam?"

"Hello, Sam." Cas sat up and leaned towards the phone. "We are both still alive."

"Oh good, I was betting that you would have smote him by now." Sam laughed, and the guys could hear some paper being rustled on the other end of the line. "So, what's up?"

Dean ran his fingers through his hair. "Hoping for another set of eyes on this. And you're the best nerd we know."

"There have been four couples reported missing, Sam." Cas continued. "All four were last seen at a therapy session."

Sam laughed out loud. "No wonder you need my help. You're not getting Dean within 100 feet of that building."

"Excuse me? What's that supposed to mean?"

Sam continued laughing as Cas tried to diffuse the situation. "I believe what Sam is getting at is that you don't like talking about your problems and issues. You would be averse to going near the building.”

"Seriously, Sam?" Dean rolled his eyes and let disdain creep into his voice. "Or do you forget the times we checked into mental hospitals, and I was forced to talk about my feelings?"

"I know, I'm sorry." Sam let out a breath. "Sorry. Okay, seriously, how can I help?"

Cas took over the conversation with Sam while Dean walked off to the bathroom. This case was turning into a disaster. Dean started to believe that it would have been better if he just kept his mouth shut and let Sam come with Cas.

Cas wouldn't be annoyed with Sam right now. If anything, Cas and Sam would be acting like a perfect couple. Dean paused. Did Sam even like guys? Not that it would bother Dean, but he can't ever remember Sam looking at another guy like that. Did Sam look at Cas like that?

Did Sam want Cas the way that Dean wanted Cas?

Dean turned the water on in the bathroom and splashed it on his face. He did not want Cas like that, he couldn't want Cas like that. Dean pressed the heels of his palms against his temples and leaned his elbows against the sink. He was completely hopeless.

Dean took a deep breath and looked in the mirror again. He let the breath out slowly and headed back out to the main room. Cas and Sam were still talking, and Cas had a smile on his face. Dean's heart sunk.

"That makes sense, Sam." Cas looked up at Dean and nodded. "Dean's back in the room."

"Ok, so based on what Cas has told me, I think you two need to look into Fairy Lore."

"More Fairies?" Dean groaned. "No Oberon jokes, Sammy."

"Well," Sam laughed. "Funny you should mention that. 'Cause you can see them."

Dean muttered some choice curse words under his breath and collapsed on the foot of the bed.

"Why don't you get some rest, Sam. I'm going to shoo Dean off to bed here in a moment as well. I'll keep researching." Cas looked at Dean with a small smile on his face.

"I have a few more things to do yet, but I will head to bed soon, I promise." There was a brief moment of silence. "Have a good night, you two."

"Night, Sammy." Dean replied as Cas responded with: "Goodnight, Sam."

The call disconnected, and Dean frowned at Cas. "You really going to send me to bed?"

"You told me you were tired earlier, Dean." Cas stood up and crossed over to the bed, grabbing the duffel bag and putting it on the floor. "You should get some sleep."

"You're not going to sleep?" Dean frowned. "What about you getting rest?"

"I don't need to. We already had this conversation."

Dean looked back at the bed then looked at Cas. "You know, it is a king-size. So if you get tired?"

"I hear you, Dean." Cas stepped in between Dean's legs and ran his fingers through Dean's hair before gently cupping his cheek. "Go lay down. Please?"

Dean nodded and crawled up to the top of the bed before sliding under the blankets. He watched Cas turn off the lights, except for a lamp next to the sofa he'd been sitting on. Dean's heart was beating a mile a minute, and nothing he could do could make it stop. "Goodnight, Cas."

"Goodnight, Dean."

xxx

The next morning, Dean woke up to the scent of freshly brewed coffee, but a cold bedside. His heart sank upon realizing that Cas never joined him. Dean sat up and looked over at the kitchen area and saw Cas drinking what was most likely a cup of tea.

"Good morning, Dean." Cas looked up from the paper in front of him. "The coffee should be done by now if you want a cup."

Dean got out of the bed and walked towards Cas and the kitchenette. "You get any rest?"

"I didn't need it, Dean." Cas offered a small smile. "I appreciate your concern, though."

"Just watching out for my best friend. You know." Dean mentally kicked himself and headed to the coffee pot. He grabbed himself a mug and filled it with fresh coffee.

"I know."

Dean leaned back against the counter and took a sip. "So, figure anything out last night?"

"Yes, actually. And already texted Sam too." Cas reached across the table, grabbing the tablet he worked on, before turning around to look at Dean. "Pixies."

"Shit. It really is fairies?" Dean rubbed his hand over his mouth and jaw in frustration. "No offense, but I was hoping that was a dead end."

"I'm sure. I remember that your last run-in with fairies was not particularly something you want to remember." Cas smirked.

"I microwaved one to death. That's not an image you get out of your head." Dean shuddered. "So, what do we need to do?"

"It's a fairy, Dean. How do you deal with fairies?"

Dean thought for a moment. "They love cream. They have to count spilled sugar or salt." Dean snapped his fingers. "They hate iron."

"Looks like we know what we need to do then." Cas took a sip of his tea. "You care for some breakfast?"

As Cas and Dean walked to the Mess Hall for breakfast, Dean made it his personal mission to keep some distance between himself and Cas. He was confusing himself. Dean knew he shouldn't be having these feelings for Cas, but he also finding fewer and fewer reasons why he shouldn't have them.

"Good morning!" A way-too-happy voice called. "Heading to breakfast?"

Dean looked at Cas, who pointed. Another couple were coming to intercept them. "I believe their names are Marge and Ed." He whispered.

"And I don't really care," Dean responded back to Cas before turning to the couple. "Yep. A quiet, private breakfast."

"Good luck with that!" The guy scoffed. "There's no privacy in there."

"Ed, be nice." The woman smiled at Dean and Cas. "Just figured we could all walk over together. We're all in the same boat for the next couple of days."

Ed grumbled something under his breath before looking at the guys. "Run away, or Marge is going to try and Dr. Phil you two."

"Ed!" Marge playfully clutched at non-existent pearls. "I do love my daytime shows, but I wouldn't pretend to act like an expert on anyone's marriage."

"You're not even an expert on our own," Ed responded.

"I would be if you talked to me!"

Dean and Cas looked at each other exasperatedly.

"So, boys." Marge turned away from her husband. "How long have you been together?"

Cas cleared his throat. "Seven years."

"Awww, I thought seven was supposed to be lucky! Why are you two here?" Marge pouted at them.

Dean and Cas looked at each other, surprised that the stranger was so blunt in her questioning.

"Christ, Marge. It's not enough that your marriage sucks, you need peep in on others?"

"I'm just worried about them. These two are such a good looking couple, but they're not even acting like a couple!"

Dean winced. He knew he should have taken Cas' hand or anything. He could be screwing up the entire case.

"Maybe they're not gay!" Ed joked. "Maybe they only got married for the tax breaks."

"Seriously, Dude?" Dean stopped. "I don't know who you two think you are–"

"Dean–" Cas tried to interrupt Dean, but instead found himself pulled into Dean's arms and their lips pressed together in a searing kiss. Dean melted into Cas, his arms wrapped around the angel's neck, and Cas' hands resting on his hips.

Dean remembered the feeling of the sparks flying when he met Cas for the first time all those years ago. This was that feeling multiplied by a number too high for him to comprehend. He was gone, his heart having beat its way out of his chest.

A cough pulled them out of their reverie, Ed bright red while Marge stared at them and fanned herself.

"You know Eddie, if you still kissed me like that, we wouldn't be here."

Dean blushed his own bright shade of pink. He grabbed Cas by the hand and dragged him into the Mess Hall, leaving the other couple in the dust.

Once they settled down at a table, Dean flushed again. "Cas, I'm sorry. I didn't know what to do, and I–"

"Dean." Cas rested his hand on top of Dean's. "It's okay. I understand. They could have blown our cover. It was an effective way to make them quiet."

Dean slouched in his seat. "Right. To keep our cover." He picked up a piece of bacon and bit it. "So, what's the plan for today?"

"We have a therapy session in about 30 minutes." Cas sipped at the coffee he had grabbed while putting some additional bacon on Dean's tray. "Perhaps if we're lucky, we'll be abducted."

"Cas, we don't know why the others were abducted, only that it was after their therapy session." Dean swallowed the bacon and took a drink of his own coffee.

"Well, we still need to have a therapy session in order to try and be abducted."

Dean rolled his eyes. "Great. Feelings."

"Make them up for all I care, Dean." Cas snapped. "We need to stop this, and you're literally one of the only hunters who can see fairies."

"You think Sam knew?" Dean tilted his head. "There's no way he knew."

"Doubtful. When we were talking, Sam was fighting against that idea." Cas ate a piece of bacon he had kept on his tray, causing Dean to raise an eyebrow. "What? I need to appear human."

After breakfast, Cas and Dean walked over to the building where the therapists had set up their offices. They were meeting with Dr. Quinn, who was another too-perky-for-mornings person that irritated Dean.

They settled down on her sofa, Cas on one side and Dean on the other.

"You two are making this extremely stereotypical. You don't have to sit a million miles apart. I heard about your little makeout session this morning." Dr. Quinn winked at them.

"We're not normally like that," Cas replied. "Dean doesn't like– What's the phrase? –DPA, so we don't engage."

"PDA, Cas. It's PDA. Public Displays of Affection." Dean frowned. If only Cas knew how much he actually loved them.

"Why don't you like them, Dean?"

"How about you tell me what you asked the last four couples who went missing, so I know not to answer those questions?" Dean countered.

"Dean!" Cas turned to face him and winked the eye that the doctor couldn't see. "That's not something you should be asking!"

"He's right, you know. And I don't know what that has to do with why we're here now." Dr. Quinn added.

Dean crossed his arms and slouched back about the couch. "We've heard the rumors, and we only got here last night. Four couples went missing, and they were all last seen here. How convenient."

"While that is unfortunate, and yes, they did see me, I had nothing to do with their disappearances." Dr. Quinn tapped her finger against her lips. "Perhaps you can tell me why you're using the disappearances to avoid talking about your feelings?"

"He will use any excuse to not talk about his feelings." Cas looked at Dean, an emotion in his eyes that Dean couldn't quite place. "If you want to know how he's feeling, you're better off going to a psychic."

"Dude, Cas."

"So, there's a lot of emotional avoidance as well, Cas?" Dr. Quinn turned and focused on Cas, acting as though Dean weren't in the room.

"Definitely. Dean can't explain how he feels, or he won't. Not once in seven years have I heard..." Cas stopped himself. "Sorry. I can't go there."

"Go where?" Dr. Quinn looked back and forth between Dean and Cas, Dean shrugging at her.

"Dean still doesn't fully accept himself." Cas looked at Dean.

Dr. Quinn nodded as though it all made sense. "Dean, where are your parents?"

"Excuse me?" It was Dean's turn to look back and forth.

"It's a simple question. Are you in contact with your parents?"

"No. They're both dead." Dean glared at her. "I don't understand what this has to do with anything."

"Who died first?" Dr. Quinn pushed forward.

Dean looked at Cas, confusion, and betrayal on his face. "My mom died when I was four. Dad died nine years ago."

"So, Dad raised you?"

"Stop right there." Dean pointed at her. "You going to tell me I have Daddy issues? Everyone who knows me knows that I have Daddy issues." He turned to face Cas. "You especially."

"I think you're afraid of being honest about your love for Cas because your father would disapprove." Dr. Quinn's voice drew Dean's attention back to her. "I think you're ashamed to admit you're bisexual, even though you're literally married to a man."

Cas cringed as Dean exploded on the poor doctor. "Excuse me? My father has never had any control over who I do or don't love." He stood up from his seat. "My father was never around. My father would abandon me and my brother for weeks at a time in shitty motel rooms and not enough cash for us to survive.

"So you know what I did? I did what no teenager should ever have to do to make sure there's food on the table for their kid brother. I've known for a long time that I'm bisexual. And I don't care. Did I flaunt in front of my father? No, cause I'm not stupid. But ashamed of that fact? Fuck no.

"What I'm ashamed of is that I love Cas, and I don't know how he can love me back. Because I'm not worthy. He knows the shit I've done. He knows the Hell I've been to, the Hell I've been through. I love him, and there's no way he can love me too."

Dean stormed out of the office, slamming the door shut behind him. He stumbled outside, finding the first bench he could and sitting down on it, his face falling to his hands. The words had spilled out of him in a rage, and he couldn't put them back.

"Room for one more?" A soft, sweet voice called from above Dean. He looked up and came face to face with a cute, petite blonde.

"There's a bench over there." Dean pointed in a random direction.

"Yeah, but this one has a heartbroken guy who looks like he needs a hug on it."

Dean shrugged. "Sit or don't sit. I don't care."

"It's normally polite to ask if someone wants company." She tucked her short hair behind her ear. "So, may I?"

"Yeah." Dean sniffed and rubbed at a tear that had fallen.

"Quinn or Martin?" The blonde asked.

"Quinn."

The blonde nodded. "Yeah, the doc can be pushy." She extended her hand. "I'm Rúnda."

"Nice to meet you." He shook her hand.

"Would you like that hug?" Rúnda asked, a hopeful smile on her face.

"Nah, I'm good." Dean wiped at his face again. "You staff here?"

Rúnda nodded from side to side. "You can say that. I help out when I can. I try to be helpful where I can. Relationship issues, huh?"

"Kinda." Dean shrugged again and hung his head. "If I didn't have them before, I'll definitely have them now."

"What makes you so sure about that, Dean?" Rúnda asked.

Dean lifted his head slowly and looked at the blonde. He focused on her carefully, and slowly reached for the iron blade in his boot. "I don't recall telling you my name."

"Dammit." Rúnda cursed. "I always forget that." She smiled brightly and let the rest of her façade slip. "Let me guess, hunter?"

Dean forwent the blade in his boot and instead grabbed a sugar packet out of his pocket and ripped it open, spilling it in front of the pixie. "Where are they?"

"Dammit. A good hunter." Rúnda sat down and started counting the sugar crystals. "They're all safe. They're fine. They're in Avalon."

"Humans don't belong in Avalon. You know that." Dean sighed and pulled the iron blade out of his boot. "Bring them back."

"Busy!" Rúnda hummed playfully. "You know I can't stop."

Dean kept the blade pointed at her as she kept counting. "Why'd you take them?"

"They were hurting each other. With secrets. I can smell secrets a mile away. Yours is a big one. You're hurting yourself and your Cas with yours."

"So you took them to what? Make them share their secrets?" Dean knelt down.

"Yep! Once they share and there's no more pain, they can go home!" Rúnda looked up at Dean. "You know, you can tell me how many sugar crystals you spilled."

Dean ran his fingers through his hair and watched for a moment as the pixie kept counting the sugar crystals. "You. You can't do that. Secrets are healthy."

"Some secrets, yes. Presents. If that dress makes them look fat." The pixie frowned, an expression that looked entirely out of place on her delicate face. "But the kind of secrets, like yours? They hurt."

Dean ignored her and rolled his eyes. "What do I need to do to have you release the other couples?"

"Ooh, I can make deals. Rumpelstiltskin is a cousin. Taught me everything I know." Rúnda thought for a second. "First. Promise you nor Cas will kill me, and let me go back to Avalon in peace. Then, you tell me how many sugar crystals you dropped. Finally, you tell Cas the secret. We'll consider it proxy for all the other couple's secrets."

"First one is easy. I promise Cas nor I will kill you." Dean extended his hand again and let Rúnda shake it. "Second part, though. That one might be impossible. I ripped open a random packet. I have no idea how many are in there."

"Ah, that's the best part. You make up a number, it becomes fact."

"How do I know you won't run?" Dean crossed his arms over his chest again.

Rúnda scratched the back of her head. "Well, besides the fact that we're in the middle of negotiation? If you want to switch two and three, there's Cas now." She pointed at the door, where a relieved Cas had spotted Dean.

"Fine, we switch two and three. I tell Cas what I think is my biggest secret and then I tell you the number of crystals. But then you let them go."

"I'm ok with that!" Rúnda smiled up at Dean as he stood up.

"Thank God," Cas smiled at Dean. "I was hoping you hadn't gone far." He looked down at Rúnda. "Who's this?"

"He can see you?" Dean asked.

"Yep! I'm letting him."

Dean ran his hand down his face. "This is our pixie, Rúnda. Rúnda, let me formally introduce you to Cas."

"Pleasure!" She continued counting the sugar crystals. "You can tell him at any time."

"First." Dean turned to Cas and held up his finger. "Under no circumstance can you kill her. That's part of the negotiation to get the couples back."

"Okay." Cas nodded.

"Second." Dean looked at Cas. He took a deep breath, looking at the pixie for a split second before looking at the angel in front of him. The angel that could never be his. "I know what I said in there, Cas. But I need to be honest. I can't love you."

Cas took a moment to process what Dean had said. The look on Cas' face reminded Dean of when he told him that he wasn't allowed to stay in the bunker after Cas had fallen. "I see." Cas looked down at the pixie, before walking away.

Dean watched as Cas' posture slumped, the strength and grace he walked with draining away.

"You're an idiot." Rúnda shook her head. "Like, you believe that and that's a damn shame, and it's a secret you've been keeping you tricky son of a bitch–"

"Hey!"

"–like, why do you think you can't love him?" Rúnda pulled at her hair. "He's obviously in love with you, and you're clearly in love with him." The pixie made a frustrated sound. "That was dirty."

"You agreed to the terms." Dean pointed out.

"Because I thought you were going to tell him that when you said you loved him, that you meant it!"

"Four hundred and one," Dean responded.

Rúnda looked at Dean, confusion written on her face.

"Sugar crystals. Four hundred and one." Dean sat back down on the bench. "I don't need you to tell me how much I suck. I already know."

"How often are you told you need therapy?" Rúnda glared at Dean.

"Apparently not enough."

"Take it from a creature of mischief. You need it." She snapped her fingers. "They're all back home with their families. You can have your hunter friends confirm."

Dean nodded. "Thank you, Rúnda."

"Don't thank me, dumbass. Go fix your problem. Cause it just got worse." She snapped her fingers again, disappearing from sight.

Dean didn't stick around. He ran back to the cabin and found it empty, only his duffel bag sitting on the bed where he had left it that morning. Cas was gone. He pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and started to dial Cas when he realized that Cas probably wouldn't answer. Dean finished packing his things back into the duffel and loaded it into the Impala. He pulled his phone back out and called the next best option. Sam.

After two rings, the line picked up. "What the hell did you do?"

"Hello to you too, Sam."

"No, I'm not playing games, Dean. I thought something happened to you. But no. That's not it at all, is it?" Dean didn't even have to close his eyes to imagine the bitchface his brother had going on. "What did you do?"

"Is Cas there?"

"Do you even have the right to ask that right now, Dean?" Sam spat, a venom Dean hadn't heard in years.

"I want to make sure he's safe. He's my priority before the couples."

A pregnant pause made Dean pull the phone back to make sure they hadn't been disconnected. "–e's here. Incredibly heartbroken, but he's here. Your ass better get back here as fast as humanly possible."

Dean heard the click of the phone and pulled it away from his ear. He hopped back into the passenger seat and started the drive back to Lebanon.

Several hours and two stops for gas later, Dean pulled into the Bunker's garage. Before he could even get his duffel out of the trunk, Sam was meeting him at the door. "What the hell happened, Dean? I mean, there are not enough words to explain what's going through my mind right now."

"It was a pixie. I made a deal." Dean slung his bag over his shoulder and started heading back to his room.

"Bullshit," Sam yelled at him. "I got Cas to talk, and I know what you said."

Dean nodded. "Yeah, that I can't love him." He stood in front of his door and looked over his shoulder at Sam. "That's the truth." Dean opened the door and walked in. He tried to close his door, but Sam shoved his foot in, keeping it from closing.

"Before that. When you two were in the actual therapy session." Sam used his size and weight to shove the door open. "You said that you love him. You admitted what I've known for years. You said what anyone with eyes has seen." Sam watched as Dean crossed to his bed and dropped his bag on it in resignation. "Why did you tell him you can't love him?"

"The pixie said I had to tell my biggest secret, Sam." Dean sat on the edge of the bed.

"So, what, you don't love Cas?" Sam ran his hand through his hair. "I think I just pointed out that's not the case."

"Sam, it's no secret that I love Cas. That's why I couldn't use it as my secret. I've never hidden my feelings for him. I just may not have been completely open about them." Dean looked at Sam. "I had literally just yelled out that I didn't care who knew that I love him. It's not a secret at that point."

Sam's jaw dropped. "But you said..."

"I said I can't love him." Dean ran his hand down his face. "My secret is that I fight to not love him."

"Why!?" Sam's face twisted in confusion. "You can have the one thing that we both crave. And don't tell me you don't want it."

"The list is endless, Sam." Dean starts ticking on his fingers. "He's an Angel of the Lord, I'm not supposed to fall in love with my best friend, He doesn't love me back, my love for him can be used against me."

Sam shook his head. "Nope." He grabbed Dean under the arm. "I'm not putting up with this."

"What the hell, Sam?" Dean found himself being pulled to his feet and dragged out of his room. "Stop!"

"No!" Sam dragged Dean down to Cas' room, where he kicked on the door. "Cas, open up!"

"The fuck, Sam?" Dean tried to get out of Sam's grasp before Cas could open the door. "Let me go!"

Cas' door opened slowly. "What, Sam?"

Sam shoved open the door with his shoulder and flung Dean into the room, throwing both angel and hunter for a loop. He scrambled to beat them to the door and slammed it shut behind him. Once closed, Sam drew a pattern on the door, causing it to glow gold briefly. "Oh, thank God."

The door shook violently, but neither Dean nor Cas could open it. "What the hell did you do, Sam?" Dean shouted, banging on the door.

"I did some reading about the bunker while you two were on your trip. It's a little trick that'll come in handy." Sam playfully slapped the door. "I'll come back and check on you two later. Like, much later."

In the room, Cas crossed over to his bed and sat down. He picked up the crossword puzzle that he had been working on, choosing to ignore Dean.

Dean, left with nothing to do, sat in a chair in the corner of the room. He kicked his feet up on the other one and leaned back, trying to get comfortable. Dean pushed and pulled the chair with his feet, trying to find the best place for it to rest.

"Would you stop?" Cas spoke, causing Dean to look up. He picked up a book and threw it at Dean. "It's one of yours anyway."

Dean flipped it over, despite not needing to, knowing it was On the Road. "Did you finish it?"

"Several times." Cas turned back to his crossword. "There's a lot of time when one chooses not to sleep."

"Did you li–"

"That was not an invitation for conversation, Dean." Cas wrote down an answer and scratched out the question.

Dean hung his head. "I'm sorry."

"Okay." Cas wrote in another answer, crossing out the clue.

"No, Cas." Dean stood up and crossed over to the bed, setting the book on the nightstand. "I'm sorry. For what I said."

Tears welled up in Cas' eyes. "Don't be sorry for how you feel, Dean."

"I'll never be sorry for loving you, Cas." Dean sat on the bed at Cas' feet.

Cas dropped the paper, shaking his head. "You told the pixie–"

Dean held up his finger. "First, what did I say in front of the doctor? Then what did I say in front of the pixie?"

"You said that you love me in front of the doctor and that you were ashamed of the fact that I love you."

"More like, ashamed of who I am, not that you love me." Dean paused. "You do, right? Love me?" A tinge of hope colored Dean's tone.

Cas nodded. "But then you told the pixie you don't love me."

"I didn't tell the pixie anything." Dean took a chance and rested his hand on Cas' leg. "I told you that my biggest secret is that I can't love you. Because I feel like I'm not allowed to."

"Who said you can't?" Cas tilted his head in confusion.

"No one actually said I can't. I've always felt like it's wrong. You're a freaking Angel. I'm a high school dropout who's caused the apocalypse, hunts monsters, took on the Mark of Cain, became a demon, and unleashed some crazy bitch who's the literal darkness."

"I've done my share of wrongs, Dean." Cas sat up and crossed his legs to be closer to Dean. "But not once have I ever thought that I didn't deserve you." Cas started to reach to touch Dean's cheek but pulled back. "You have always been my beacon. My Righteous Man."

A sob escaped Dean's lips. "You've always been my Angel. There is no one but you, Cas." Dean hung his head. "I mean it when I say I don't feel worthy."

"Dean." Cas cupped Dean's cheek and wiped away a stray tear with his thumb. "You don't decide if you are worthy of someone's love." Cas leaned forward and captured Dean's mouth with his own. The kiss was brief and sweet, but still enough to take their breaths away. "My love is yours, and yours alone, Dean."

Dean crashed his lips into Cas' again, claiming the angel as he had at the campground. He climbed into Cas' lap, the need for closeness rushing through his veins.

Cas ran his hands up the front of Dean's chest and under Dean's flannel, pushing it off of his shoulders and tossing it to the floor. He pulled up on the hem of Dean's tee shirt, and with Dean's help, he pulled it up and over his hunter's head. Cas traced his fingers over Dean's skin, taking the moments to relearn the freckles and the scars that marked the beautiful body in his lap. "What do you want, Dean?"

Dean leaned forward and kissed Cas briefly before kissing along his jaw. He moved down Cas' neck, nibbling on it before he came to the tee shirt Cas was wearing. "Is this the one I leant you?"

Cas nodded. "I didn't dream of this happening. So I thought I would..." Cas closed his eyes and trailed off as Dean started to suck a spot onto his neck.

"Keep it. Knowing you're in my clothes?" Dean whispered against Cas' skin. "It means you're mine."

"Mhmm." Cas' hands found their way to Dean's back and started kneading into the skin and muscles, causing Dean to melt against Cas.

"Fuck, Cas." Dean pulled back and started pulling Cas' shirt off.

A warm chuckle left Cas' throat. "I believe if we keep this up, that's where we're heading." He lifted his arms up, letting Dean finish taking his shirt off before his hands found Dean's hips. Cas squeezed them and pulled Dean down on to him. "Is that what you want, Dean?"

"Yes." Dean's eyes were half-lidded as he found Cas' mouth again, his tongue pleading with Cas' lips for entrance. Cas' lips parted, and Dean slid in, and a dance for dominance between their tongues commenced, eliciting whimpers and soft moans from both men.

Cas reluctantly pulled back and let go of Dean's hips, tracing his fingers along the top of Dean's jeans. He stopped, looking at Dean for final confirmation before moving to undo his pants.

Dean carded his fingers through Cas' hair, resting them at the back of his angel's neck. He nodded before resting his forehead against Cas'. "Please."

"Of course, Dean." Cas softly kissed Dean while undoing the button and zipper of his jeans, slowly, so painfully slow for Dean.

"Cas, play fair."

"I don't know what fair is for you, yet." Cas dragged his tongue along Dean's jaw before starting his own mark on Dean's neck.

Dean mewled, pushing himself up on Cas shoulders, so Cas could pull down Dean's jeans and underwear over his hips. Cas was able to get them to below Dean's knees, and Dean finished kicking them off the rest of the way. "Now you're overdressed, Angel," Dean complained cheekily.

Cas raised his eyebrow, and in one swift movement rolled over the pair over so Dean was pinned under him. "It's a little difficult to get undressed when you have a gorgeous man sitting in your lap."

Dean turned bright red, the blush extending down his body.

Cas pushed himself up to his knees and undid his belt and pants, smoothly sliding them off in one fluid movement. "What do you want, Dean?" Cas leaned back down and languidly started kissing his way up along Dean's chest.

"You is too general an answer, I assume?"

Cas playfully bit Dean in response.

"Come here, Cas.”

Cas tilted his head in confusion.

"Do you have lube in here?" Dean asked point-blank.

"Ah." Cas leaned down and whispered into Dean's ear. "Tell me what you want, and I'll show you the perks of having an angel for a boyfriend."

Dean groaned as the rest of the blood in his body shot to his cock. "Cas, not to kill this, but last I checked, you don't–"

"Dean. Shush." Cas wrapped his hand around Dean's cock and started stroking. "What do you want?"

Dean's fingers dug into the blanket under him. "Fuck. You. Inside me. Please." Dean's head fell back on the pillow. He felt Cas climb between his legs and slide a finger inside of him effortlessly. A moan escaped Dean's lips as Cas slipped another finger inside of him, a familiar warm spreading through him as Cas took care of him.

"Still concerned?"

Dean lifted his head and shook it, his eyes meeting Cas'. "No, Angel. I'm yours."

"Good." Cas lined himself up with Dean and slowly pushed in, watching as Dean writhed under him. Dean's fingers found Cas' arms and grabbed them, clinging to Cas as he slid in completely, two puzzle pieces coming together.

"Cas. Cas. Cas." Dean cried beneath him, a prayer of pleasure as Dean tried to make Cas move. "Please, Cas. Have you, need you." Dean pleaded, a sweet, broken litany.

Cas started moving, his hips gyrating and thrusting as he wrapped his hand back around Dean's cock. Each movement of his wrist synchronized with each movement of his hips. The swings and sways built up in tempo, matching the crescendo of the pleas and cries escaping from the lovers' lips.

Dean found his climax first, Cas' ministrations pushing him to edge quickly and thoroughly. Thick white ropes spilled over Cas' hand and painted their stomachs and chests. Several movements more, and Cas found his own, his head rolling back as his tongue slipped into his native language.

Cas fell forward, catching himself over Dean, and smiling down at him. "Ol hoath."

Dean pulled Cas down the rest of the way and kissed him softly. "I'm a little rusty on my Enochian, there Cas, but I think you just called me your beloved."

"Yes." Cas cocked his eyebrow. "I assume you'll explain to me how you know that another time."

"No major story," Dean smirked and closed his eyes, waiting as Cas rolled next to him on the bed. "I was trying to figure out how to tell you that I love you. I'm pretty sure that's when Sam figured it out, cause I don't study willingly." He turned to look at Cas. "It's not something I'm going to say a lot, though I'll try for you." Dean brushed Cas' cheek. "I love you, Castiel."

Cas ran his hand down Dean's side then down his own, cleaning up their mess. "I love you, Dean." He leaned in and stole a quick kiss before pulling the blanket out from under them and covering them up. "Rest."

"You won't leave?" Dean questioned, concern in his voice.

"Nothing can pull me away from you. Not now that I am yours." Cas held Dean closely.

xxx

A few hours later, Sam came back and undid the warding on the door. He listened for a moment, making sure there were no uncouth sounds, as no one wants to hear their best friend and brother having sex.

Once he was sure there was quiet, he knocked quietly. There was no response, odd, as Cas should at least say something.

He knocked a little louder.

Neither Dean nor Cas responded.

Against his better judgment, Sam tested the doorknob and found it unlocked. He turned it slowly and pushed the door open as softly as possible.

In the dim light, he could make out the forms of Dean and Cas, curled up together asleep.

Sam smiled in surprise and pulled the door shut.

"About damn time."

#spn #spn fic #destiel #nickel's story time #nickel writes #from prompts #ask box is open #send me asks

110 notes · View notes