#as a makeup point to this one feeling kinda meh i at least hope the gpose is cute

[seilon]

pro: ran into a coworker at a bar last night who I don’t really talk to usually (he works upstairs, I work downstairs) and we talked and im pretty sure we were highkey flirting and he bought me a drink and the bar merch shirt i was interested in and thanks to the power of alcohol i guess i asked for his number and he gladly gave it to me and. yeah

con: i have the second worst hangover i have ever had and have been fighting for my fucking life just to eat saltines

[elliewiltarwyn]

FFXIV Write 2023 | Prompt #12: Dowdy

I'll be real I didn't really have any great ideas for this one so I sort of grabbed for a trope I've seen a lot and decided to do the opposite of the prompt?? oh well it's something ;u;

-860 words

----

“Oh, thank the Fury, you’re back—I was beginning to think you weren't going to make it in time.”

“The hells are you talking about? It’s still like two hours until it starts, isn’t it?”

Mia shook her head and smiled ruefully as she straightened out her billowing sleeves and tightened some of the laces on her corset—her corset. Of all the things… “You’re right, technically, but… because we’re honored guests of House Fortemps, we’re supposed to attend with the rest of Count Edmund’s retinue so he can look all grand and impressive as the doors open. Which means—”

“We have to be there stupid early.” Ellie groaned, and Mia heard a sort of flump sound from the bed behind her, as if someone had just dropped a heavy mass of fabrics upon it. “Gods, I knew I was in trouble the moment somebody mentioned the words ‘Ishgard ball.’”

“You really should have seen it coming, the moment we began to mingle with Ishgardian high society,” Mia chuckled, now adjusting the bands on her cuffs’ straps. “And especially once we defeated Nidhogg—you thought they wouldn’t have celebrated the end of the Dragonsong War with a big stuffy ostentatious ball?”

“I knew they would. I was just hoping we’d get to avoid it.”

“No such luck, I’m afraid,” Mia mused, and as she ran the tips of her fingers under her neckline, ensuring that it wasn’t scratching at her skin or anything, she glanced over her shoulder. “No, I’m afraid you’ll have to suck it up and wear a—” And then she froze in place.

“What?” Ellie said with a sly smirk, running the tips of her fingers under the fringe of her collar. “Coeurl got your tongue? Or Lily, perhaps?”

“N-no, I—” Mia was very uncertain as to why her mouth had suddenly gone dry upon beholding Ellie standing before her dresser at full height, in a smooth, silk tailcoat, a frilly shirt tucked underneath a tightly buttoned vest, and smart slacks tucked into knee-high leather boots. “That’s just not what I was—” She swallowed, her throat suddenly scratchy as well. “...You… look nice.” Really, Mia? That’s the best you could come up with? At least go for handsome, as someone who looks good in a suit is usually referred to…

“I’m glad someone thinks so.” Ellie’s smirk turned wry as she gestured with her hand across the width of her broad shoulders, down the sleeve filled with her thick arm. “They tried to stuff me in a big flowy gown, but… I just don’t have the right build for it.”

“I- I’m sure that’s—come on, that can’t remotely be true. Of course there are dresses that suit your build.” She tamped down the urge to mention that she had been oddly looking forward to see what Ellie looked like in a long flowing ballroom gown, she does not need to know that.

“Maybe, maybe not. Either way, I’m not going to give Ishgard’s high houses a chance to spend the whole evening sneering at how… dowdy or ungainly I look wearing one of their big flowy dresses.” Ellie chuckled and tugged her glove a little tighter. “No, Artoirel suggested I borrow this, it’s one of his old suits—still had to be tailored somewhat to fit, that’s why I’m nearly late for our very early arrival… but it worked out, I think.”

“It very much did,” Mia had to admit; the more she thought about it, the more a suit did, well…suit Ellie and her long frame and broad shoulders. She glanced down at herself, suddenly self-conscious. It wasn’t like she was familiar with this style of formalwear, certainly no more than Ellie was, and she honestly felt more at home in platemail than anything else… Maybe I should’ve… “You don’t think… I’m going to come off as dowdy or ungainly, do you?”

Ellie blinked in mild surprise. “What? No, why would you think that? You’re gorgeous in that.”

If Mia thought her mouth was dry before, it was parched now. And from the stunned expression on Ellie’s face, as though she couldn’t believe the words that had just tumbled forth unbidden from her mouth, was any indication, the tall roegadyn was just as speechless.

Ellie did recover first, though, clearing her throat and shaking her head as she jerked her head toward the door. “Anyway, uh… are you all set? If we have to leave early, we should probably wait in the foyer or something, for everyone else…”

“Uh, yeah. Yeah, I’m good.”

In a most ironic fashion that betrayed how she clearly had no idea what she was doing, Ellie proffered her arm to Mia with that same smirk as before. “Is this how Ishgardian gentlefolk do things? It’s something like this, right?”

With a small giggle and a warm smile, Mia threaded her hand through the crook of her friend’s elbow, resting it upon her forearm. “Something like this, yeah. Don’t worry, though; whether or not you’re doing it wrong, I think you’re going to be the best looking one there.”

“I don’t know,” Ellie said knowingly with a wink, “I think I have some pretty stiff competition.”

[does-this-look-logicality-to-you]

Valentine’s Day

words: 2868 universe: human au characters: virgil, roman, patton; mentions of remus, logan, janus pairings: romantic prinxiety, platonic moxiety, platonic DLAMPR, implied background romantic logicality warnings: none i can think of, just fluff on fluff on fluff a/n: happy late valentines day, everyone! i wanted to have this done on actual valentine’s day but executive dysfunction said no thank you. this fic is dedicated to my amazing girlfriend @katlikethesword. i still can’t believe how lucky i am to be your datemate, and i love you with all my heart. this is my first time writing a prinxiety fic this long, so i hope you like it <3

Virgil had never liked Valentine’s Day. As he often said, it was just another commercial holiday created for big corporations to take advantage of people’s relationships in order to make even more money. It was the same with holidays like Christmas and Halloween, but Valentine’s Day had always stood out to him as the worst of them all. He sometimes wondered if, deep down, he disliked this day in particular because he’d never had someone to spend it with.

That is, he didn’t, until he met Roman.

Virgil never would have guessed he’d fall for someone like Roman. The two had met through the internet, after joining a small Discord server for those who shared an interest in Steven Universe. The two held a sort of rivalry between them at first, arguing almost constantly to the point where the others would grow nervous when they noticed both of them online at once. They didn’t dislike one another, per se, but the fact that their opinions clashed a majority of the time led to conflict more often than not.

After some time— and convincing by the others— the two of them begrudgingly started to get along. Their arguments went from heated debates to playful bouts of banter. Virgil found himself growing fond of his eccentric friend, and began to see him as less annoying and self-absorbed. He instead grew to appreciate his sense of humor, and his eagerness to stand up for his beliefs, and his unrelenting loyalty to those he cared about.

Over time, Virgil’s feelings blossomed into something more than just platonic and he felt himself falling. It had terrified him at first— after all, he’d never had feelings like this toward anyone before. He finally came to terms with it after one fateful night, when a voice call lasted so long that the two of them had ended up falling asleep. After that, there was no turning back. After what felt like forever— in reality, a week— he finally opened up about his feelings, and somehow, by some miracle, Roman reciprocated them.

As a result, the two of them were now in a romantic relationship together. Virgil felt himself fall more and more in love every day. It was the simple things that made him special. Roman often sent him messages containing words of adoration and devotion, and he tagged his boyfriend in Tumblr posts that reminded him of their relationship, or of Virgil in general. Virgil had been hesitant to admit that he was in love with Roman, but he did so eventually. He couldn’t imagine loving anyone else.

Not everything was this easy, though. Roman lived thousands of miles away, too far to come and visit unless he was travelling with his family, which was unlikely considering how unappealing his home state was as a vacation spot and how unlikely it was for his parents to plan a trip there. All they could do was pine hopelessly as they waited until they could finally see one another. It wasn’t uncommon for Virgil to lose himself in daydreams of the day they could finally see each other, when they could finally hold each other, when they could finally be together. Roman sometimes joked that he’d expect the pining to die down when they got together, only for it to double once they actually did, and Virgil couldn’t help but agree. It was hard being so far from the person he cared about. All he wanted was to see his love, to be by his side, to be in his arms, even if only for a little while. Was that really too much to ask?

__

When he woke up on February 14, the first thing Virgil did was grab his phone and open Discord to message Roman. When he did, he’d been expecting his boyfriend to have sent him something, anything, but there was nothing. Maybe he’s not awake yet. He hoped that was it. gerard-gay: hey. happy valentine’s day. i miss you. After he sent it, Virgil lay back down, pulling the covers over himself and closing his eyes again. He stayed like that for a few minutes before stumbling out of bed and changing out of his pajamas. He wasted little time in changing into a purple t-shirt, his favorite hoodie, and a pair of dark gray sweatpants. With that done, he headed into the bathroom. He splashed water on his face, then dried it before taking out his makeup kit. He decided to go for a simple look today, complete with the black eyeshadow on his lower lid that he often wore. Satisfied, he left the bathroom and headed into the kitchen.

The first thing he noticed was that his parents weren’t sitting on the couch like they usually were. Panic surged through him as his eyes flitted around the room, looking for some kind of clue. His gaze fell on a bright pink sticky note on the counter. He came over to it and read it. We had to go pick something up. We’ll be home around 1pm. Love you! ~Mom and Dad Virgil sighed in relief. They hadn’t abandoned him after all. They could have told me beforehand, though. He glanced at the clock on the microwave. 8:49. Damnit, I got up too early. At least he had the house to himself for a while.

He made himself a cup of coffee and a bowl of cereal, got out his daily pills, and headed into the living room and set everything on the coffee table. He sat on the couch and turned on the TV, switching it to Netflix and putting on The Office. It wasn’t his favorite show, but it was better than eating in silence. As he ate his cereal, Virgil checked his notifications again. Nothing. He can’t still be asleep, can he? Even on the weekends, Roman was usually awake at around this time. He wasn’t ignoring him, was he?

Virgil soon finished his breakfast and grabbed a blanket from the back of the couch, swaddling it around himself. He stayed there for a while, occasionally having to venture out of his cozy cocoon to ensure Netflix that he was, in fact, still watching. As he watched, he kept an eye on his phone for any indication that Roman was alive and hadn’t grown bored of him.

Soon, he felt his phone buzz, and he nearly dropped it as he opened Discord to check the notification. To his disappointment, it wasn’t from Roman. It was instead from Patton, one of their mutual friends. happypappypatton: Happy palentine’s day!

Virgil couldn’t help but chuckle. gerard-gay: happy palentine’s day pat

happypappypatton: How’s your day so far?

gerard-gay: could be better

happypappypatton: Oh no! Why? Did something happen?

gerard-gay: nothing happened gerard-gay: just kinda worried about roman

happypappypatton: Is he okay?

gerard-gay: idk gerard-gay: i messaged him earlier but he didn’t respond

happypappypatton: Oh no, I’m so sorry!

gerard-gay: it’s okay gerard-gay: at least my parents aren’t home gerard-gay: so i get the house to myself😎

happypappypatton: Can I call you and keep you company?

gerard-gay: nah that’s okay gerard-gay: i don’t wanna take time out of your day

happypappypatton: You’re not happypappypatton: Nobody should be alone on Valentine’s day happypappypatton: Pleeeeease??? I want to talk to you!

gerard-gay: okay

happypappypatton: Yay!!

Virgil laughed to himself as he clicked the phone icon. It didn’t even finish ringing once before Patton picked up.

“Hi Vee!”

“Hey, Pat.”

“How’ve you been?”

“In the ten seconds since you last talked to me?” He laughed. “Exactly the same.”

Patton giggled. “Good point.”

“What about you?”

“I’m doing great! You know I love Valentine’s day.”

“I know you do. You and your roommate are having that Palentine’s party this year, right?”

“Yup!”

“I wish I could come,” Virgil half-joked.

“I know, I wish you could too. Just hang in there, we’ve only got a year and a half ‘till you graduate.”

“Yeah, I know. I’m counting the days.”

“Me too,” Patton agreed with a soft laugh. “Has Roman gotten back to you yet?”

“Nope.”

“That’s really weird. I would have thought he’d have sent you a page-long message about how much he loves you and misses you.”

“I know, I thought so too.” He sighed. “Do you think he’s sick of me?”

“No, absolutely not. You know how much Roman cares about you. Besides, even if he didn’t, he wouldn’t just ignore your messages.”

“Yeah, I guess. It would be pretty out of character for him to just ghost me.”

“Ghost you? But it’s not Halloween, it’s Valentine’s Day!”

Virgil groaned. “You couldn’t not make a dad joke, huh?”

“Sorry,” he giggled. “But you gotta admit, that was kinda funny.”

“Meh. It wasn’t your worst work.”

Patton laughed.

“Anyway.”

“Yeah, anyway…”

The two of them were quiet for a moment. “What about the others?” asked Virgil. “Have you talked to ‘em today?”

“Mhm! I DMed everyone earlier. I’m actually talking to ‘em right now.”

“Oh, cool. Are you…” he hesitated before finishing, “talking to Roman?”

“No, he’s the only one who hasn’t said anything. So on the off-chance he’s actually ignoring you, he’s ignoring me too.”

“Has anyone else said anything?”

“Nope. It’s weird, I asked them if they’d talked to him today after you told me he hadn’t been responding, and they all said no.”

“Even Remus?”

“Uh-huh. Apparently he hasn’t even seen him today.”

Virgil started bouncing his leg anxiously. “Okay, now I’m getting kinda scared. Do you think something happened to him?”

“I dunno. Maybe? But Remus would’ve said something about it, right?”

“Yeah, I’d think so.”

“Let’s change the subject,” Patton suggested. “I don’t wanna make you more anxious about this than you already are.”

“Thanks, Pat. How are the others? What are they up to?”

“They’re doing pretty good! Remus is working on a writing project, Janus is playing Stardew Valley, and Logan’s procrastinating on his schoolwork by scrolling Tumblr. Don’t worry, I already scolded him for it.”

Virgil laughed, the mention of Logan reminding him of something. “Ooh, speaking of Logan, are you gonna tell him today?”

“No, not today.”

Virgil was genuinely shocked. “Really? Why not?”

“C’mon, you know him. He sees Valentine’s Day as an excuse for big companies to make a boatload of money.”

“So? I think that too. What does that have to do with you not telling him?”

“It wouldn’t mean anything to tell him today. I don’t even know if I’m ready to tell him yet or not. Besides, he’s got a lot on his plate today, Valentine’s day or not.”

“I get that. Sorry, I didn’t mean to sound so pushy. You tell him when you know you’re ready.”

“Thanks, Vee. You didn’t sound pushy, though. I definitely know how frustrating it can be when your friend’s been pining after someone for months on end but they still refuse to do anything about it.“

Virgil laughed. “Okay, okay, I get it. I’ll stop complaining.”

“I’m not saying you have to. I did my fair share of complaining when y—” Patton stopped abruptly, and Virgil heard a faint voice coming from the other end. “Okay, just gimme a second,” Patton called out, clearly talking to someone else. “I’m so sorry, Vee, I gotta go. Emile promised a couple friends we’d meet them for lunch today and it completely slipped my mind.”

“That’s okay,” Virgil reassured him. “You go have fun, Pat. I’ll be fine by myself.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure. If I get really lonely I can always talk to the others.”

“Okay. Tell me if Roman gets back to you, ‘kay?”

“I will. I’ll talk to ya later.”

“Bye! Love you!”

“Love you too.” Virgil hung up the phone and got up, grabbing his dirty dishes and taking them into the kitchen to wash them. Once he finished, he glanced over at the clock, which read 10:37. Only about two and a half hours until Mom and Dad get home, he thought as he put the dishes away. He left the kitchen, checking his phone again as he headed toward his bedroom. Once again, Roman still hadn’t said anything. He’s definitely awake by now. Had he been right? Had something happened to him? He forced the thought away. He couldn’t let that bother him. Why was it so important, anyway? Today was just another day.

He reached his room and sat down at his desk, turning on his laptop and putting on his headphones. He then opened Spotify and put on the playlist he’d made for Roman the day after they’d gotten together, before switching over to Tumblr and scrolling through his dashboard. He could probably do the exact same thing in the living room, but he preferred the cozier, more familiar atmosphere of his bedroom. Peanut, his cat, climbed up onto his lap and curled up into a ball. Virgil smiled to himself and reached one hand down to scratch him behind the ear. Peanut purred, and Virgil’s smile widened.

He stayed there for a few hours, seeing what everyone on Tumblr was up to today. Every so often, he switched to Discord to see if Roman had replied to him yet, but no such luck. He did his best to ignore his growing worry, focusing instead on the computer in front of him and the cat on his lap. He could be busy today, he reminded himself. His world doesn’t revolve around you.

Soon enough, he heard the familiar rumble of the garage door, followed by the ca-CHUNK of the front door and the clip-clop-clip-clop of his parents’ footsteps. Virgil gently moved Peanut off his lap, which the pale ginger tabby didn’t seem to mind much. “I’m gonna go say hi to Mom and Dad,” he told the cat. “You can come if ya want.” Peanut meowed in response, which made Virgil laugh. He knew his cat couldn’t understand him, but he still found it wildly amusing when he acted as if he did. He crouched down to pat his head a few times before leaving his bedroom and going into the living room. He smiled at his parents when he saw them. “Hey,” he greeted, giving a sort of half-wave.

“Hey, honey,” his mom greeted with a smile.

“Happy Valentine’s Day!” added his dad.

“Yeah, you too.” He came over and hugged his parents.

“Have you eaten yet?” his dad wanted to know.

“I did,” he reassured him. “I had a bowl of cereal.”

This satisfied him. “Good.”

“What’ve you been up to?” asked his mom.

“Not much. I had breakfast, called Patton and then went to hang out with Peanut and scroll Tumblr for a bit. What about you guys? What exactly were you picking up?” He glanced around in search of a box or some kind of indication of a possible answer but found none.

“Actually,” answered his mom. “It was something for you.”

Virgil hadn’t expected that. “Oh! I-uh, cool. Thanks.”

“Don’t thank us yet,” his dad told him with a laugh. “Go and see, it’s in the garage.”

“Okay.” He went into the laundry room, where the door to the garage was, with no idea what he was going to find in there. His parents rarely got him big presents, and when they did it was either for his birthday or for Christmas. He had no idea what to expect. He reached the door, turned the handle, and flicked on the lights.

Standing there was a teenage boy with a broad smile. He wore a red hoodie and a pair of ripped blue jeans, and his white sneakers were dirty and worn. Around his neck was a necklace with a gold-colored charm shaped like a crown. He spoke, his voice sounding to Virgil like the most beautiful of songs. “Happy Valentine’s Day, sweetheart.”

“ROMAN!” Virgil barreled into him, nearly knocking him over as he threw his arms around him. “Oh my God, you’re actually here. Like, right here. In my garage. How did you even manage to do this?”

“I have my ways.”

Virgil pulled back a little to smirk at him. “You’re just as insufferable in real life as you are online, huh?”

“Well, I’m afraid you’re stuck with me and my insufferableness.”

“Unfortunately.” Virgil gave him a lopsided grin as an indication that he was joking, and an adoring smile crossed his boyfriend’s face. “Is this why you haven’t answered my message?”

“I can’t believe you’re actually here. You actually are here, right? This isn’t some practical joke?”

“It’s not a joke. I wouldn’t do that to you. Well, maybe I would, but not on a day like today. Not on Valentine’s Day.”

The two were quiet for a few moments, just taking in one another’s presence. Virgil was pretty confident that he would willingly stay here forever if he could.

“Well, now that you’re here, what do you want to do first?” Virgil asked, finally breaking the silence.

Roman gave Virgil the playful smirk he’d only ever imagined before. “I think I have an idea.” He rested a hand on his cheek and leaned in, and Virgil felt his heart soar as he and Roman shared their long-awaited first kiss.

[rawiswhore]

Some of Raven’s Flock x Fem Reader- “Raven’s Flock”

Back in 1997/1998, when Raven was sitting in the front row by the audience, I would've been trying to touch him, amongst other things, though security would probably have to take me away.

________________________________________________________________

Professional wrestling is taking an edgier turn and direction by the late 1990's.

The World Wrestling Federation, which was once like a live action Saturday morning cartoon with no cursing, blood, or sexual content, is becoming increasingly more violent, vulgar, bloody and adult-like by the end of the 1990's.

And even WCW, which had a no blood policy during the 1980's and 1990's, is getting a little bit edgier by the late 90's, but not enough.

Even during the late 90's, WCW was tame in comparison to the WWF's Attitude era.

One of the things that helped make WCW slightly edgier by the late 90's was Raven's Flock, a wrestling group whose leader was a former alumni in ECW, a wrestling company in the 1990's notorious for being very violent and even downright shocking.

Someone from ECW, a wrestling company known for being very violent, bloody, sexualized and downright shocking now joining WCW, a usually family friendly wrestling company with a no blood policy?

Wow.

Then again, before he was in ECW, Raven was in WCW playing a Pauly Shore lookalike named Scotty Flamingo dressed in all pink, that's not very ECW-like, is it?

Raven's Flock was like a spinoff of Raven's Nest over in ECW, and even a former member of Raven's Nest was in Raven's Flock in WCW.

While many of the men in Raven's Flock were very ugly, some of the men in Raven's Flock were pretty hot.

At the end of 1997 was when Raven was growing his faction, Scotty Riggs joined the group, despite injuring his eye during a match with Raven, and Scotty was hot AF in 1997.

Raven's sexy too, and you're glad that Scotty has joined the Flock, and even Van Hammer is kinda hot when he wore makeup and that fishnet tank top that showed off his nipple ring.

Stevie Richards would be hot if he shaved that facial hair, however, near the end of 1997, he went back to ECW.

Billy Kidman wasn't hot yet until his hair grew longer and wasn't hanging over his face, as well as wore those white tank tops.

However, you're unsure if you should have a gangbang with these men right now, and you've talked it over with them.

Van Hammer you're unsure whether or not to do it with him.

To be honest, Van Hammer is a little bit ugly, and he was especially ugly when he grew that facial hair in Raven's flock.

As Raven's Flock grew, Scotty started losing his looks when his hair began hanging over his face and started growing facial hair, and another member they added named Lodi wasn't that hot yet.

By the end of 1998, Raven's Flock would sadly disband.

However, in 1999, Raven was still sexy, Billy Kidman was sexier than ever, Scotty didn't have his hair hiding his face and shaved his facial hair, and Lodi was pretty sexy, even though he had those unsexy sideburns.

Yet, Raven's Flock was no more by 1999, unfortunately.

Despite that, you've decided to have a little gangbang with the hottest men from Raven's Flock for old time's sake.

You've invited them to a motel room, where they undressed you until you were stark naked.

You were sitting on Lodi's lap, your back pressing on his torso, and rode up and down his cock, his erection pumping inside your asshole.

You let Lodi fuck you in your ass since he's the least attractive out of these 4 men, and it is kinda fitting he's fucking your ass considering he played a gay man in WCW in '99.

Scotty is standing in front of you, pushing and thrusting his cock in and out of your twat, your legs spread wide open so Scotty can fuck you right in the pussy.

Scotty let his hair hang down, not tied back in a ponytail sometimes the way he looked in '99, he didn't have that much facial hair and his hair was mostly dry.

You wanted Riggs to look the way he did in 1997, that was the sexiest he's ever looked.

Scotty is probably the hottest out of all of these men you're doing it with, that's why you chose for him to fuck your twat.

Raven and Billy, meanwhile, were standing on their knees next to you, Raven on your left side and Billy on your right side, both of their erections pointing and sticking out in your face.

Your fingers were wrapped around their shafts, pumping and masturbating their dicks as you rode Lodi's dick and Scotty fucked your cunt.

You leaned your face towards Raven's genitals, wrapping your fingers around the bottom of his dick and pulled his erection into your mouth, where you started sucking his cock.

Your mouth went up and down his shaft while you sucked it, and you could taste the precum spilling out of his slit.

Raven has such a thick, big, juicy cock that's filling up your mouth.

Your eyes shut just in case you get any precum in your eyes, that stuff stings and hurts like hell.

When you were getting fucked by two men at the same time, you were moaning with Raven's dick in your mouth, your breath heating up his shaft.

Raven was turned on by this as well, slightly leaning his head back over how good it feels.

Raven, Scotty and Billy tried looking at you while you jacked off one of their cocks and sucked on the other, trying not to lean their heads back over how the pleasure their dicks are getting.

Some of Billy's precum was trickling down his shaft, making it slipperier and easier for you to pump.

As you were getting fucked by Scotty, you're imagining the man fucking your twat is Scotty in 1997, that's easily the hottest he's ever looked, bar none.

Having sex in the locker room or sauna would've made this gangbang slightly even better, it would've made you feel like you're in a porn movie, feel like you really are getting fucked by some of Raven's Flock and you get to have people watching you have sex, but in WCW, there's a rule that people's wives and girlfriends aren't allowed in the locker rooms.

Bah.

You really hope the neighbors won't hear you having sex, but you're moaning while you having a dick in your mouth, making your moans muffled and quiet.

When you're riding on Lodi's dick, the bed is bouncing up and down and squeaking.

Thankfully, you don't have to worry about the bed rocking back and forth and nudging into the wall so much, a hole will form, because the bed is attached to the floor.

Blood is filling your clitoris up, and sometimes you're arching your head back and rolling your eyes in the back of your head.

Scotty put his hands on your tits, squeezing and fondling them, his fingers tweaked your nipples a few times as well.

Your throat swallows any precum leaking out of Raven's slit, and your lips as they go up his shaft can feel the little bump of his penis head.

Raven is actually Jewish and Jewish males have circumcisions when they're babies.

Some of Billy's precum actually is getting on your face, you can feel it touching your skin.

Your hand pulled Raven's dick out of your mouth, which surprised him, but then you pulled Billy's cock into your mouth, where you proceeded to suck his dick, swallowing any precum dripping down his shaft and out of his slit.

Your fingers wrapped at the bottom of Raven's shaft pointed the tip of his dick at your face, where you began pumping up and down, masturbating him.

You wouldn't mind having his precum on your face as well.

Your fingers can feel your saliva all over Raven's shaft when you masturbate him.

You're moaning while having Billy's dick in your mouth, your moans are buzzing and vibrating around his shaft, which makes his cock feel funny.

Scotty has been playing with your tits for far too long, so now his hands slid down your skin to your hips.

Raven and Billy now have the chance to play with your breasts this time, and both of them cupped one of their hands on both of your tits, covering and shielding your breasts, giving your tits a few squeezes.

Their hands fondled and stroked your tits, you can feel their palms nudging and brushing your areolas and nipples.

Man, what if you came, but it was because of Lodi playing with your tits?

Meh.

Raven and Billy saw Scotty tweak your nipples, so they both decided to tweak your nipples as well, running the tips of their index fingers around in circles on your areolas.

They're taking you higher and higher by fucking you, and you're not faking your orgasm.

Your heart rate is increasing by riding on Lodi's cock, and Scotty's heart is pumping faster thanks to the thrusts and shoves.

Your fingers wrapped around Raven's shaft rotated and turned around his erection, something you didn't do with Billy (though you should've done it and maybe you will).

Raven's lips bit each other, his top lip pressing down his bottom lip, over you pumping his cock.

Some of Raven's precum even is getting on your face, dripping down one of your cheeks, and you can feel his precum drip down your knuckles and down his shaft.

Your moans are muffled out from Billy's dick in your mouth, your moans high pitched and whiny, that you hope the neighbors won't hear.

Raven, Billy and Scotty would love to see your tits bouncing up and down while you're riding on Lodi, maybe they even will.

You felt like you were gonna cum any minute now, and you eventually climaxed and reached the top, crying out when you had came.

Your twat had creamed while Scotty's cock was still fucking you and inside of you, your clitoris pounded and beat when you came.

Your pussy's even wetter now than before, but it isn't over until all of these men cum.

Really, it would be better if you held their dicks in front of your face and slid your lips across their shafts, and that's what you're gonna do.

You pulled Billy's cock out of your mouth and pointed their penis tips in front of one another, although not enough for them to nudge and touch each other.

Your neck stretched out to Billy's shaft and placed his erection in between your lips, but not putting his dick inside your mouth.

Your lips slid horizontally all the way down his shaft until they reached his penis head, only for your mouth to shift over to Raven's cock, placing his cock in between your lips, only to horizontally slide down Raven's shaft.

Your lips could taste the precum that spilled down their shafts as well as their skin.

When you reached the bottom of Raven's dick, your tongue pressed on his shaft, where you licked up his shaft as your head elevated up to his penis.

Raven and Billy are looking at what you're doing to their cocks, and they absolutely love it.

Speaking of those two, they've been playing with your tits for far too long, now it's Lodi's turn.

Their hands moved away from your tits and slid down the outline of your hips.

One of Raven's hands tapped Lodi on the shoulder, to which Lodi turned his head and looked at Raven.

"Her tits are yours now" Raven said, his index finger pointing at your chest.

Lodi's eyes caught your tits, no hands covering your breasts.

Scotty, Raven and Billy all had turns to play with your tits, now it's Lodi's turn.

Lodi's eyes lit up seeing your breasts, and he's been anticipating playing with your breasts.

He placed his hands on your breasts, squeezing and fondling them.

Even though him playing with your tits is fun and all, do you want the least sexiest of all of these men to be the last one to play with your breasts?

No.

Meanwhile, you continued to horizontally lick your tongue across Raven and Billy's shafts, licking back and forth their cocks like an envelope.

Sometimes, your tongue rolled around one of their shafts, tasting the precum that spilled down their erections.

Their cocks are so juicy, sometimes you want to express how delicious their dicks taste.

And you did express yourself, moaning "mmmmmmm", "mmmmmmm", "mmmmmmmm" when you licked their shafts.

"Do I taste good?" Raven asked, looking at you and hearing the noises you were making.

You nodded your head.

Even Billy and Raven couldn't help but lean their heads back over how good it feels from you licking their dicks.

You've been having sex quite a long time with these men, and the first man to surprisingly cum inside you was none other than Lodi.

He groaned when he came, his eyes tightening and he squeezed your tits when he jizzed in your ass hole.

Feeling him grab your tits and groan like that, yeah, he came inside you.

He didn't even get a chance to tweak your nipples.

But he can now, and he had seen that Scotty, Billy and Raven were tweaking your nipples, so he should do it as well.

He placed your nipples in between the pads of his index fingers and thumbs and began tweaking and turning your nipples.

You're a little bit worried that when he pulls his dick out of your ass, you'll have cum leaking out of your ass hole and that jizz will get on the bed.

Despite not spending a lot of time playing with your nipples, he then put his hands on your hips and pulled you off of his lap, until his dick was no longer in your ass, and plopped you on top of the bed.

His jizz was indeed leaking out of your ass hole and getting on the silky comforter, but you can clean it up.

Hopefully you won't have any feces slipping out of your ass after it's been fucked.

You shut your eyes tightly just in case you might end up getting cum in your eyes, and since that might happen, you then directed Raven's cock to point at your mouth, opening your mouth wide open so his cum will get into your mouth.

You actually pulled Raven's dick into your mouth to have a better chance of getting his cum in your mouth, though hopefully you won't choke on his cum.

You can't decide who you want to cum on your face or in your mouth, or both: Raven or Billy, or even both of them.

Speaking of cum, Scotty's been pumping his dick in and out of your twat for a long time, and he's gotta release some tension.

He leaned his head back and he groaned, shutting his eyes tightly, as he jizzed inside your pussy, implanting you with his seed.

Someone came again, as they say!

After he had came and took some time to jizz inside your twat, he pulled his dick out of your pussy, where his cum leaked out of your pussy hole and onto the silky comforter.

His cum was dripping out of the slit of his penishead and onto the carpet, pulling a tissue out of a box on top of the table near the bed you were having sex on.

He squatted down on the ground and cleaned the cum off of the carpet with that tissue.

Eventually, pretty soon, Raven jizzed inside your mouth, groaning when he came, leaning his head back and shutting his eyes.

You wish you could get his cum on your face, but maybe next time.

Although, you don't want cum to get in your eyes, that hurts.

You swallowed his jizz, and Billy was the last one to cum, where he gave you the money shot, jizzing on your face.

You shut your eyes tightly to make sure you don't get cum in your eyes.

After this orgy was done and you, Scotty and Lodi were out of breath, you gave Scotty a blowjob, cleaning his cock off and swallowing his cum, and then gave Raven and Billy some blowjobs and cleaned their dicks off, swallowing their cum and precum.

You didn't suck on Lodi's dick, try to guess why...

________________________________________________________________

One night, I was fantasizing of my female pro wrestling OC I created admitting she'd love to be gangbanged by some of Raven's Flock on Howard Stern's radio show.

And I have no idea what I was thinking.

Granted, some of the men in Raven's Flock were definitely sexy, but others, not so much.

However, I imagined my pro wrestling original character I created saying that she'd only bang the hot ones in Raven's Flock, not the ugly ones.

[descendantofthesparrow]

Commission work - Harry Hook x Mals sister! Reader - part 3 - hol the hell up

commissioner - @musicarose​

=

You woke up to the sound of something long and hard-hitting the window next to you, harry jolted up next to you, staring wide-eyed at the window hidden bt the black curtains.

You groaned, slowly sitting up and yelling out “DIVAL SHUT IT!” the sound stopped, replaced by a loud cawing, the raven behind the glass yelling back.

“im up im up!” you whined, rolling off the mattress and standing up, as you stretched you felt your back pop and you let out a satisfied moan. “that hit the spot” you yawned, pulling back a curtain, sticking your tongue out at the puffed up and fussy raven.

“wha’s with the demon bird” Harry muttered from behind you, shrugging on his jacket and shoes.

“I think hes warning me to get home, he likes me so he doesn’t want mom to get mad at me ‘n stuff” harry paused, turning to look at you.

“the bird…protects yeh?” he tilted his head, like a confused puppy. You laughed sliding open the window a little to let Dival in.

“yeah, I don’t know why, but he likes me, he also stops Mal from being a jerk to me” you smiled, scratching the large bird's chest.

“tha’s…tha’s good” Harry muttered, rubbing the back of his head.

“Harry?” you asked, he jumped slightly, biting his lip and looking at you from the corner of his eye “are you okay? you seem…nervous”

“aye, I jus’ think yeh should get home, don’ want yer ma getting mad at yeh” you slowly nodded, perching Dival on your shoulder and walking past harry to the doorway.

“alrig-“

“wait!” Harry's arm flashed out, grabbing yours, you turned back around, raising your brow.

“one moment you want me to leave and the next you don’t?” you laughed “make up your mind hook”

“i-I was jus’ wonderin’” Harry stuttered “if yeh would like ta…go on a date with meh? Maybe tomorrow? At Hades Greek restaurant?” your lips split into a grin and you nodded fervently, rocking back and forth on your heels.

“y-yeah! I would love too!!” you stood on your tiptoes and grabbed onto Harry's shoulder, making him lean down and kissing his cheek.

“see you tomorrow!!” you bolted out, Dival falling from your shoulder and catching himself midair.

You smiled and laughed to yourself all the way home, you couldn’t wait till tomorrow.

=

“what are you all smiley about, don’t like mom see you like that” your sister's nasty tone came around the corner, you spun around, the grin hardly slipping.

“Harry asked me out” Mal stared at you blankly, before a genuine Mal smile bloomed on her face.

“really? Nice, hope it goes well” you nodded, watching as Dival flew back up to the balcony again.

“yeah, don’t tell mom okay?”

“definitely”

=

You hummed to yourself, finally brushing through your hair and setting it into a Fishtail braid and then into a kinda messy bun.

Damn, it looked cute. Evie had burst into your room earlier, helping you with makeup and choosing an outfit.

Tight dark blue jeans, loose dark purple tank top, calf-high worn combat boots that were detailed and painted by you and Mal, a short dark forest green jacket.

You were freakin’ cute as hell.

Now harry told you to meet him at your dads restaurant, so there you would be!

---

As you arrived, you locked eyes with Hades himself, odd, he preferred to be down in the caves under the isle.

Lucky you!

He discreetly gestured for you to come closer, and as you did he leaned in. “what are you so dolled up for little devil” he muttered, a sly “dad” grin on his face. You rolled your eyes.

“if you must know, Harry Hook asked me on a date and told me to meet him here”

“oh” your dads eyes and hair glowed for a split “well…congrats” he said sarcastically “enjoy your date”

You snorted, saluting him and walking off to a corner table.

---

Hades bit his lip…two hours later and the son of hook had yet to arrive and you sat abandoned in the corner, head against the window.

The other customers had already left, the doors only open for harry to walk through.

But it was already 11:30pm, and Hook always demanded harry and Harriet be back at the ship by 11:45 (not that he cared about them, he just didn’t want them taken so someone else could use them)

Hades was thrown out of his stupor by you standing up and wiping a tear off your cheek.

“maybe he was held up by something?” Hades offered softly after Persephone had claimed you, he had made an effort to be nicer to you. “maybe James made him take another shift at the clock store? Or he helped Uma with her night shift?”

You gave a watery laugh, nodding your head softly “yeah maybe…thanks, but i’m gonna head home” you muttered, smiling as he patted your shoulder.

“well, if you need to, your welcome down in the caves, spot’s been able to visit for a week, and he wants to see you”

“thanks…dad” you walked out, closing the restaurant doors behind you. As you walked home, Dival soared in, landing gently on your shoulder, he bit at your ear.

“im fine Dival, just…tired” you muttered.

“weren’t you supposed to go on a date with my sister tonight?”

You paused, was that Mal?

A dark cruel laugh came from the dark corner ally a few feet away from you. “aye, but I was never going ta go, I used ‘er ta get ta yeh Malsy~”

It…that was Harry's voice? You stepped forward silently, holding in puke as you peered around the corner.

There was Mal, against the wall, arms around Harry's neck, her dark purple lipstick staining his lips and neck.

“how evil of you~!” she leaned back up, harry grinning as she pressed her lips to his.

He…he used you….to get to Mal…and she-and she!

You couldn’t breathe…or were you breathing too much? You turned and ran, not seeing the two jump apart at the footsteps, Mal stepped out from the ally, tilting her head at the receding back.

She didn’t recognize the person so she shrugged, waving bye to harry and heading home.

=

You let out a choked sob, running through the dark forest. A root caught on your foot, you screamed as you fell to the floor, the dying grass and roots scratching your face and arms.

You lied there, tears streaming down your cheeks and turning the dirt below you into mud.

“(y/n)?” you sat up, whipping around to see your mother, dival on her shoulder, but…she…didn’t look completely disappointed in you?

You sniffed, turning to sit on your butt, wiping down your face. “you're probably so disappointed…your daughter, upset over love” your voice cracked.

Your mother sighed “not…exactly, you needed to go through this at some point…to access this” your mother gestured around you.

You looked around, eyes widening.

The small amount of life around you…was turning to ash.

“wha-what?” you muttered, watching as a small patch of green grass slowly turned grey and turned to dust. “how am I-”

“unlike Mal” your mother started, tapping her knuckles against the trees, the sound hollow. “you have accepted your role as the daughter of Hades, so you will gain more of his abilities, one of which is to control life…and death.”

You sniffed, slowly standing up “but magic doesn’t work on the isle” Your mother smirked, you shivered.

“it's not magic, its power, the future goddess of death~”

She turned, reaching out and tilting your chin up. “now, unleash all your emotions…you'll feel better and release the energy building up”

You let out a shaky breath, memories of Mal and harry surging up.

“yes, unleash your rage”

You let out another choked sob, remembering Harry's cruel words.

You felt bile bubbling in your throat, but you ignored it, letting out a resounding scream.

“aaAAHHHHHHH!!!” you fell to your knees, blue and purple energy exploding around you, the trees turning to ash, the ground cracking beneath you.

Maleficent smiled, she would at least have one successful daughter.

--end of part 3--

authors note: ATTENTION, I DON’T LIKE MARRY (harry x mal)! IT CAN GO DIE IN A FIRE, THE COMMISSIONER JUST WANTED IT FOR THE PLOT! 

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@queer-cosette​

@sephiralorange​

@daughter-of-pan12​

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@random-thoughts-003​

[seenashwrite]

Notes From Nash: Season 15, Episode 3

It's ep three, and was third try the charm? Well, we're still in that little town, which is infuriating. But don't lose hope, chickadees. There was some character arc action and some plot advancing, and just drama in general, and it moved at a decently quick clip, all of which is refreshing after last week's ass-disaster of an episode. 

If I were grading this ep, all things considered (including some damn fine acting moments that elevated the material), it's an A-. (Five points were docked immediately because we were still in the little town.) But seriously, this week's writer(s) had a LOT to make up for given the aforementioned last week as well as a largely lackluster premiere, so you know what? Props to them. 

We got a loose end from season past tied up, got rid of some dead weight, and then there was a thing that happened that I’m not entirely sure was necessary at this interval, but I get why it happened. Of course, we had our requisite random hamfisted “solution(s)” and still-unexplained bits that should’ve been clarified ages ago, can’t not have those, it seems. Regardless, this episode was actually fairly interesting to watch. I’m still wary about the state of the season after the first two, but this one had some spark.

Spoilers below the cut, you know the drill.  

This one's in order, I was jotting stuff down as I watched. Past ep breakdowns linked at the bottom. If you’re new, hello, welcome, etc., I don’t do meta shit or reading into the symbolism of the color of a blurry wallpaper just over someone’s shoulder, I look at writing and cohesiveness and structure and flow and all that jazz. I basically just call things as I see ‘em. 

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// 

More spooky-scary still seems to be pouring from the hellpit, but at least this crypt is pretty, and Harry Potter tent-esque because the square feet inside is seemingly bigger than the outside.  

Rowena appears to be outfitted in one of my grandmother's housedresses, or a coffin lining, or a 1980s prom dress, whichever you prefer, and none of them have been pressed. I'm trying to say I don't like it. They also continue to do Ruthie's makeup in such a manner that she perpetually looks approximately fifteen years older than she actually is, so in a way I'm thankful this is likely her last episode. On the other hand, I trust these writers and the people who assemble/green light the promos about as far as I can throw them, so we shall see. In any event, Ruthie is quite the good actor and I hope she gets a million gigs after all this is done.  

This Sam-Dean moment with Creased Brow Sam and Gruff Voice Dean is falling so flat, not because of them, but because we're hearing The Same Damn Thing We've Already Heard. Move the plot along, please----- Oh wait here comes Belphagor once again with a solution, this time a nice little plot rescue MacGuffin! Lilith's Crook. Just gotta blow it like a horn. 

Motherbitch, this is stupid.

I got a thought: make it Gabriel's horn, so it calls in all the angels who should've come back with the reverse-y switch-a-roo, and they deal with sealing the hole, but bonus! At end of ep last scene is that it's also called Gabriel back, too. I'd announce to the universe that this show needs to hire me, but, welp.

Oh look, Ketch is in a hospital gown. Oh look, I bet Ketch is about to die in that hospital gown, instead of a badass suit like it should be. It looked like DHJ accidentally spoiled via a tweet that I happened to see----- 

I dodge the promo images and articles and such so I can give a view of someone who doesn't know what is coming in these things. 

-----because he talked about coming back just to leave again, that it was a pleasure, whatever, and y'all will have to fill me in on that because I kinda can't believe he whiffed that hard. I'm not looking it up, is my point. Did he whiff? Actually, don't answer that, I don't care. I mean, don’t go to trouble looking into it on my account.  

Hmmm. Was Ketch’s death entirely necessary? At least, right now? I dunno. Maybe. I’m 50/50 whether this, or have him be double-crossy then get killed later. In any event, well-acted by DHJ. He's quite fantastic. He is wasted in all the Hallmark dreck he's been in, I really hope he gets some good work after this. That's that. Moving on. 

We're 1/4 in, and I'll give it this: we've gotten some action, some drama, but they've GOT to make up for the lack of plot progression in episode 2. Belphagor is shady as shit, which we knew, and this just got reinforced by that demon who has such a hard-on for Belphagor getting axed. 

I do not mind rando badass lady hunter having lines and playing a tangentially-important role in the ep, but this means if we ever see her again, she'll likely get killed, so I'm not getting attached. 

So hell is an angry vagina. SFX, are y'all okay? Is that prick whose tweets occasionally come across my feed still working there? Y'all need some hugs? I know y'all need some better budget, that all the DC shows got it, but oh well, that ship's sailed.  

Well done set dec, I dig the ghoulish statues in that hallway. And hey costume design, I like the ring that dude was wearing, I would wear that in real life. It would also look great as a wrist cuff. I digress. 

We know this demon is not going to succeed in killing Belphagor, so once more we have a pointless halftime cliffhanger. Also, have I mentioned I'm done with Cas being a weak puss? I'm telling you, if stuff got rewound, he should be incrementally getting his mojo back, that tracks logically. See Ep. 1 notes for what I thought should've happened for a legit "Whoa" moment. 

"Do you have any idea what he is?" --- he's a poop demon. Again, see the first episode of @youtotallymadethatup​    /shameless plug

[sighs]

Is this show gonna end with a Jack vs. Jack battle royale? Because fuck that noise. But! Writing-wise, it's okay that ol’ Belph may become the big bad. Nash, why would you say that, you ask. Easy.

IT WILL GET US THE FUCK OUT OF THIS LITTLE TOWN

A. Ny. Thing. to get us the fuck out of this little town. I am so goddamned bored.

Cas, this is a mistake. You should leave. What are you doing. Leave. Don't fall for that. Leave. Go now. Whoosh. Okay, or glow worm and barbeque the body. That was a nice little catch of emotion by Misha at the end. Except are the demons now gonna jump into his body? Better not, we've seen that season. 

Commercials! Cannot believe I've not been inundated with the adverts for the convention here in the spring, that's usually the jam. Imma go get some frozen yogurt. Highly rec strawberry with a little warmed-up Nutella. Try it, then tell me I'm crazy. I'm not. It's heavenly. 

Aaaaand, we're back!

Don't look so distressed Cas, y’all were gonna burn it anyway. But this takes Jack v. Jack off the table. Hopefully this means we'll be headed back to the Empty to get some progress on that hanging thread from last season sooner rather than later. Still, I'm glad we are down a character for awhile, this character in particular was starting to work my nerves and honestly, is just dead weight. I want it back to Sam and Dean for the most part this final season with sprinklings of Cas. Everyone else is secondary.

[claps] Very excellent Ruthie and Jared. One critique: Wish there could've been some sort of line from Rowena, re: "And perhaps I'll get to see my boy again", something of that ilk.

But I want to say this, and say it emphatically:

The nonsensical spells pulled from asses must stop

The soul-catcher thing is an example of a great move because it drew upon the past, then built upon for the present. This heart and angel blood and salt shit, and then this “Oh by the way it needs my dying breath” stuff is just obvious “um um um well how about bleh” writing stumbles, and it shows. The only reason that lameness worked? Ruthie and Jared’s performances. Period. Because y’all gave them absolute garbage to work with, and they made it shine.

Hey! There's the two convention promos with one short local ad in between, followed by the same local ad again! I was beginning to think they'd forgotten! 

WE ARE OUT OF THE LITTLE TOWN, I REPEAT, WE ARE OUT OF THE LITTLE TOWN 

DEAN IS IN A HENLEY, I REPEAT, DEAN IS IN A HENLEY 

Oof, Dean. I mean, I figured this convo would have to happen one day, it's been building, because even though his intentions are good, Cas has been involved in his fair share of shit taking left turns. Hopefully Cas is going to go seek out other angels. Also, re: Cas saying he's getting weaker - because, why? WHY. This has never been addressed in a definitive, satisfactory manner. 

Right, so, like we do each time, let's check in to see if we've had any character development and/or plot progression: 

Do Ketch and Rowena and Belphagor count, since they've progressed to being dead? Dunno, that's more of a finality to their overall arcs. Dean's being an asshole and Sam's being weepy and Cas is being an Eeyore, that's about par. Meh. Okay. So did the plot get advanced? 

YES THANK YOU FLYING SPAGHETTI MONSTER SWEET LORD YES. But, eh... a little weaksauce. Yes, that chapter of the initial onslaught is closed, yet we know it's not over. So I feel like the ep should've ended with, after the bunker door slams, a cut to a little scene that serves as a clue about what lies ahead. I mean, ahead-ahead, season-wise. Like, twenty second blip, not even, then hard cut to black screen, then on to promo which appears to be MotW. 

So that's it, really. More adept writers could've made the material of #1 and #2 into the premiere (minus several things, most specifically minus Kevin, should've saved Osric for something else down the line), then this should've been episode #2 instead of #3. Can't unring that bell, though. Let's hope we hit some speed before Buckleming comes along to run us into a ditch, then (fingers crossed) we have a few eps after that to rebound for the finale.

See you next week.

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Past posts, from newest to oldest (and I sometimes do addendums if a response warrants)

Episode 2

Episode 1

[pbjpuppy]

REALLY long post ahead!! I’m sorry that I can’t add a readmore right now tumblr mobile mega sucks

I’ve been thinkin a lot these past months abt The Gender..

So I’m an afab lesbian, and for the past few months I’ve played with the idea of being nonbinary. She/her pronouns have always been anywhere from “meh” to uncomfortable for me, and a lot of like, societal standards of being a woman/girl just Felt Bad. The term “girl” still feels kinda Wrong to me, because of all that it implies, yknow? (The implication that “girl” = slim, pretty, into boys, submissive, weak, shy...)

And then there was the bit about my presentation. I don’t wear makeup, never have, and I can’t stand traditionally feminine clothes. I’ve cut my hair shorter and shorter every year of my life to the point where I wear it even shorter than my dad and my brother, and if I had it my way, it would be totally buzzed down. I don’t shave, haven’t for a couple years now, and have no intention of starting again (that shit SUCKS it irritates my skin so much). I basically exclusively shop in the men’s section now.

So I thought I must be nonbinary, because I’ve rejected basically every aspect of femininity, at least superficially. But after trying to use them for a while, they/them just doesn’t feel right either. I’ve even toyed with he/him, but that definitely doesn’t feel right. I thought about neopronouns too, but they just don’t click. So what am I? I don’t know if I’m a girl, but I’m definitely not a boy, and nonbinary doesn’t feel right either.

I tried the butch identity, too, but I don’t know if that’s the label for me. I admire butch lesbians so much, and the label feels so close to what I feel, but it’s still not just the right fit.

My ideal self looks a lot like a boy. I want a flat chest, I want to be tall, I want short hair, I want facial/body hair, I want a deep voice, I want confidence and swagger. Because of the way I present, I actually get mistaken for a boy all the time, and it doesn’t bother me for some reason.

But I’m not a boy, and I know that. I don’t want to be a boy. I want to be a girl that looks and talks exactly like a boy- and a girl that dates other girls like a boy does. It’s strange, and confusing, and I think that’s what I’m having a hard time accepting.

I’m not nonbinary, I’m a girl- just not one that looks like what everyone expects a girl to look like. I think the one struggling to understand that the most is me. I don’t fit into the general defintion of “girl”. I’m a girl that’s a little to the left.

I hope that nothing I wrote here comes across as transphobic, to nonbinary people or to trans men, because it’s absolutely not meant to be- it’s just me rambling about my own gender confusion.

So, while I’m not 100% sure or comfortable yet, I think I’m going to go back to just she/her pronouns for a while and see how it fits.

[thotyssey]

On Point With: Martyr

Whether she’s turning it in the Upper West Side with a drawn-on beard or making the Brooklyn children weep with a melancholy dirge, drag vampire Martyr is rapidly becoming a nightlife presence we'll all be kneeling to soon enough!

Thotyssey: Martyr, hello! So today isn't nearly as gross and sweaty as recent days, which reminds us that summer is coming to an end. Is that good news, bad news or whatevs?

Martyr: Hey hey! Oh, it’s such good news. I’m not much a summer goth... Fall is where I really shine.

Fabulous! And of course, before you know it it'll be Halloween. I know a lot of queens are all "meh, everyday is Halloween," but I bet you are all about  October.

Oh, for sure! I try to do a different costume or theme each week in October. I love an excuse to dress ridiculous!

Where did you grow up, and how did this drag journey begin?

I’m a Florida boy (which doesn’t really mesh with the aesthetic, but what can you do). I started performing in 2014 for FSU’s amateur drag show. I looked like a brick, but somehow wowed the judges enough to end up in third place. I’ve always been a closeted lip-syncer at home, but that was the starting point of Martyr. I honestly didn’t really consider myself a queen ‘til moving to Brooklyn, where I had such a quick development.

How would you describe your aesthetic and performing style today?

Carlos the Uber Driver called me the “Spooky Ooky Brooklyn Ghost,” and I think that pretty much sums it up. I always lean more towards the sad / emotional / dramatic performances, ‘cause it’s very easy for me to tap into. I feel like a lot of drag is about celebrating our queerness--and that’s so important--but I also think we need time to mourn / get our feelings out. I think I really shine when it comes to performing and movement. I love channeling different emotions, through my fingers... a style I picked from Untitled Queen.

You're tailor-made for Patti Spliff's monthly Rosemont show “Sad Songs!” Have you done that one yet?

Not yet! But I’ve met Patti before, and she’s honestly such a sweetheart. And “Sad Songs” is always amazing. Here’s hoping in the future!

I saw clips from performances of yours at both MR(S) BK & the Ultimate Drag Pageant, and at both you performed Sufjan Stevens songs from the Call Me By Your Name soundtrack. Unusual choice, but effective! So you don't consider the gender of the singer when you're choosing a lip sync?

Haha! I just love my boy Sufjan. He uses a lot of gay imagery. Also, I feel like I already read so androgynous, that gender has never been an issue. Half the time, I’m not even in a wig.

You're actually one of the few queens I've seen who regularly applies fake facial hair, with makeup or two-dimensional pieces. Is that to make you look more Antichrist-like?

Yeah, kinda! When I first started, I didn’t even know bearded queens existed. I was super uncomfortable with my masculinity, and I saw beards as, like, a point of envy. So to do this weird hybrid of masculine and feminine drag was to help get comfortable in my own skin. The Christ-like thing was a whole other story, but certainly a part of the beard.

 How did you enjoy the whole MR(S) experience? That was a pretty epic pageant.

Absolutely loved it. It was my first exposure to the Brooklyn scene, and I made a lot of friends because of it--like my good sis Emi Grate, Laé D. Boi, Linda Felcher and a dozen other girls. I’m already prepping for next year’s showcase.

There was a lot of drama amongst the finalists.

I was far removed... just eating popcorn in the back!

I hear that! And now here you are with a very different group of queens, competing weekly for this season's Ultimate Drag Pageant at the West End! What made you want to enter this competition... and do you feel a very different energy from those queens as opposed to your Brooklyn fam?

I saw last season’s UDP when I went to support Carlos and Tiffany Anne Coke, and saw it as a different venue to try new things out. I love getting feedback about performances and looks, so a competition setting works best for that. And it was also a completely different crowd and mindset, but I think I’ve generally been accepted, haha! I went in thinking “these Manhattan girlies were gonna hate on the Brooklyn weirdo,” but everyone has been so friendly and kind. I’m looking forward to the finale stunts!

By the way, how did you know Carlos and Tiffany?

We started doing drag in Manhattan together at Barracuda’s Star Search. And we’ve been each other’s internet bullies ever since.

You'll be returning to Brooklyn pageantry this Thursday for Round 3 of the Mx. Nobody prelims at Brooklyn Bazaar. That's on the same night as UPD! How are you gonna swing that?

I’m using my one skip for UDP for it! I was booked for Mx. Nobody before UDP came up, but knew I wanted to be part of both. I’m bummed to be missing Hollywood Week, ‘cause I wanted to try something more glam. But I’m super-excited and nervous for Mx. Nobody, as I’m doing a performance about how I got my drag name! It’s gonna be one interesting night.

And then on Sunday, you'll be at Bizarre Bushwick for Thee Suburbia's monthly lunar-themed show “Full Moon!” What shall you be bringing there?

I haven’t quite decided yet! I’m thinking of bringing my “Ignorance” performance I did a few weeks ago at UDP. Who knows? But bet on something spooky.

What else is going on in the world of Martyr?

I’ve been trying to do some more performance art pieces out and about in the city that question queer bodies in non-queer spaces, like a going to specific museums / exhibits in drag and such. I’m also working on my Masters at NYU for Museum Studies. All that academic nonsense.

Good for you! Side question: The new American Horror Story season... will it be everything, or godawful?

I always get hyped for the new season (I blame the promos), but then I’m left disappointed by the end of it. This being a crossover season has me intrigued, but with my two least favorite seasons? I’m not too hopeful.

Agreed! Okay, in closing: when you die in 200 years and come back as a ghost, and you have to haunt one place forever, where will you haunt?

OMG gag! I already feel like I’m haunting everywhere. Hmmm... but probably the Whitney Museum. Great art, great view, and tons of cute artsy boys. Gay heaven right there.

Boo yeah!  Thank you, Martyr!

Check Thotyssey’s calendar for her upcoming appearances, and follow Martyr on Facebook and Instagram.

On Point Archives

[easyhairstylesbest]

Body Positivity Isn’t Happening For Me. I’m Aiming for Body Neutrality Instead.

The Instagram video that broke me featured a pretty blonde in a pink crop top. She was caressing her stomach and smiling blandly while swaying in front of the camera. “Life’s too short not to love every inch of yourself!” the caption read.

I don’t know why, but that video did it. I’d seen those types of videos before, with a woman half-dancing around, urging me to embrace my soft curves or love my cellulite or whatever. But this one was the last straw. Believe me when I say I threw my phone down on the couch and took an angry lap around my living room. That moment was when I realized that the body positivity movement—the love every inch movement—was just too far out of reach for me.

Surely there had to be something in between loving myself unconditionally, and how I currently felt, which ranged from benign hostility toward my body, to “meh.” Enter: body neutrality. Instead of the constant stream of negative thoughts that runs through my mind 24/7 (just me?) I want…nothing. I don’t need to replace all those messages with body positive self love—I just want a break from the negative.

The author at a foggy Grand Canyon. By this point it should be obvious that I’m not sure what to do with my hands in photos.

Courtesy

It’s not that I haven’t tried to be positive. I talk to my therapist. I try to practice intuitive eating. I switched up my Instagram follows so my feed is full of people of all sizes revelling in their gorgeous bodies. But it turns out those Instagram videos aren’t helping. Instead, they’re a reminder of yet another way I’m failing my body. Now, not only am I worried that I’m the wrong size and shape, I also feel badly about not loving myself enough just the way I am.

In this picture, I was trying to remember how celebrities pose with one leg behind the other to make my legs look slimmer.

Courtesy

It would be nice to love my body. Think of the brain space that I could free up! The hours I could devote to reading, cooking, or using my scrolling-through-Instagram time to focus on celebrities on yachts or judging their fancy kitchens (two of my favorite types of posts). But despite how much I would love to follow my patron saint, Lizzo, to the altar of body positivity, it’s just not happening.

So, before I can truly love my body, I just want to turn down the volume on all the messages that are blaring inside my head. I needed to start by cutting the background noise. For help, I turned to Jessi Kneeland, a body image coach. According to Kneeland, body neutrality is actually kinda boring. “Neutrality is just the truth. You look in the mirror and go, ‘This is a body,’” Kneeland says. So I don’t have to revel in my shape and adore every pimple? As it turns out, nope!

“We’ve all been taught that it’s super important that we have an opinion on how we look. One of the first tenets of neutrality is maybe that’s not true,” Kneeland says. “But that’s a pretty rebellious stance to take in a culture that, especially for women, is constantly reinforcing the idea that how we look is not only one of the most interesting and valuable things about us, but also that it’s a way in which we’re constantly failing, and we should constantly be trying to improve.”

The good (and bad) news is that I’m certainly not alone. Kneeland has worked with hundreds of clients trying to break through the fog of mixed-messages about their bodies. Originally she focused on helping clients via self love and body positivity. But she noticed for many of her clients, the messages weren’t clicking. “Positivity is just one more unrealistic standard to reach,” she says. “And I think it makes people feel worse; it makes them harder on themselves and beat themselves up more, which is exactly the opposite of what we’re going for.”

Ah yes, the old “I’m not loving myself enough” blues. I’ve sung that song a few (hundred) times before. But I want to be done with that, I really do. And so I asked Dr. Elizabeth Wassenaar, a psychiatrist, and the medical director at the Eating Recovery Center in Denver, for advice on how to start working towards body neutrality. “The first thing is to allow yourself to be open to the idea that your relationship with your body could be different than it is,” Wassenaar says, which is exactly the kind of low-stakes starting point I was hoping for.

Or at least, it seemed low stakes until I implemented Wassenaar’s other piece of advice, which is to recognize all the negative things I say about myself internally. The first time I tried to list them, I lost count of all the mean thoughts swirling around my brain. I hated my thighs for fusing together, causing painful chafing. I hated my rosacea for making my face flush when it seemed like everyone and their sister was posting no-makeup selfies. I could barely walk past a mirror without cringing at my rounded cheeks and jaw in profile. I didn’t even realize the full weight of the emotional burden I’d been carrying around each day, and it shocked me. But Wassenaar says it’s normal to feel overwhelmed.

“It’s okay to have a feeling or a thought about your body that isn’t positive,” Wassenaar says. “And that doesn’t change the fact that you can have goals for your body to help you live your life.” The goals should not be about appearance, Wassenaar says; instead, focus on function—a cornerstone of body neutrality. Like, for example, taking a minute to acknowledge that my legs and lungs worked together to carry me up a steep hill. “Messages of appreciation and gratitude for your body, these neutral messages, can start to reframe your experience of being in your body,” she adds.

A winter selfie, with my rosacea poking through.

Courtesy

So that’s what I’m starting with. Now, when I look in the mirror, I don’t try to force any positive messages, and I definitely don’t caress my tummy with a vacant grin. I just think, that’s a stomach. As much as any single stomach can exist in the world, well, mine does. Is this where I’d like to eventually end up? No. One day I hope I can truly love every inch. Until then, I just want to look at celebrities on yachts in peace.

Emily Baron Cadloff Emily Baron Cadloff is a freelance culture writer with a passion for health and wellness.

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Body Positivity Isn’t Happening For Me. I’m Aiming for Body Neutrality Instead.

[fallenangelspnfanfic]

I will survive part 3

“You mind giving me a hand Y/N?” Dean hissed while packing the Impala’s truck. You were getting ready to leave the bunker for a hunt. The hunt you have been waiting for now a month and a couple of days. “Yeah but I got to choose the music” you grinned. Dean throws you a bag of supplies from above the car’s roof. “Keep dreaming girl.” You throw the bag onto the backseat while pouting. Sam found a pretty good lead about the vamp who killed your sister about a week ago and everything to take him down was already planned. Sam… things between him and you have been awkward for a bit, but you were used to spend steamy nights with your friends and so you handled the situation pretty well. Those kind of situations did not happen again after and you were glad because in the end, Sam was your favorite Winchesters: he knows when to shut up. Dean on the other hand, well let’s say that you couldn’t handle his cockiness, his stupid perfect smile when he knows he touched a sensitive cord, the way he has everybody to listen to his orders. You’re maybe too alike after all… “Hey Y/N, ready for the big show?” Sam jolted you from your thoughts entering into the bunker’s garage. “More than ever Sammy.” You answered back while taking your leather jacket off, your shirt remained stuck on it, leaving the bare skin of your back showing the new anti-possession tattoo you got last week. You swear you saw Dean eyed you across the Impala. “Enjoying the view Winchester?” “Uh, I hum… Just wondering what kind of tattoo artist Sam told you to go see. Awful.” His eyes were looking everywhere but at you now. “Same who did yours idiot.” You scoffed taking place into the backseat You can hear he brother chatting outside the Impala while you were getting comfortable for a 5 and a half hour drive. “I don’t know if we’ll really need Cas for this kind of job Sammy. Don’t wanna bother him in his angelic mission, whatever that might be now.” “Dean. We don’t know how many vampires are going to be in that church. We’re gonna need all the help we’ve got. Sam answered back while taking place on the passenger seat. “Can we go already?” you were beginning to get impatient. “Oh Y/N did I ever told you that I like frisky women like you?” Dean winked at you. “Oh shut up.” This guy really knows how to put you on the edge. You sighed putting your headphones on. “That’s it? Now comeback? Huh.” “Dean, give the girl a rest” Sam takes a peek at you. “She’s really anxious Dean.” Sam continues in a whisper. “Yeah I know, but killing him won’t bring back her sister, I hope she’s aware of that.” Dean looked at through the mirror while you were playing on your phone, making weird mimics whenever you’d lost. A smile grew on his face, “I don’t want her to be upset that’s all.” Hours later, you finally made it to motel. The boys started unpacking while you entered the motel room checking around. A funky smell came to you and wait, what? “GUYS Nuh-HUH.” “What’s wrong?” Sam rushed in the motel room. “There’s TWO beds. And wait, let me count again, 1, 2, 3…. Oh, yeah we’re three that’s what I thought.” So you had to choose between an awkward night with Sam or sharing a bed with his dumb brother, the choices weren’t really appealing. “Ever heard of sharing honey? Otherwise you can sleep in baby. “Dean pointed the Impala in the parking lot. “Never mind. Sam you mind?” “Not at all anyway I’ll be up mostly all night looking for new leads about the nest.” “Aaaah wrong again sweetie, see the most comfortable bed is always the one with the older brother in it.” Dean grinned. You push his shoulder while heading to the bathroom to take a shower. You needed to relax, being back here, where you’ve lost Amber a couple months ago was draining a lot of energy out of you. You tried to be strong, but once you felt the water pearling on your tense muscles, you let go off the mask. You allowed yourself to cry, let out the pain you were trying to hide from the Winchesters. You felt a hole in your chest, you cried so much you almost forgot to breathe. Without Amber, you were nothing. She was your whole world. You felt terribly alone for what it seems to be an eternity before the shower ran out of hot water. A loud knock shook you out of your personal space. “Y/N, we’re going out for a beer wanna join?” you could hear Sam through the wooden door. “Yes, yes gimme 5, I’ll be ready soon enough.” Damn. You look at your reflection in the mirror, a couple minutes weren’t enough, not that you would usually take a while to get ready, it’s just that your eyes were so red and puffy. You couldn’t get out of the bathroom looking like that. You quickly grab your make up bag and decided to let your hair naturally curl and focus on your face. It has been a while since you last put makeup so you didn’t know if it was too much but meh, don’t care. 10 minutes and a smokey eye later, you got out of the bathroom wearing a black Guns’n’Rose’s crop top tank with tassels and some short jeans. “Well it’s about damn ti..ti..me.” Dean turns around eyes wide open, while inspecting you from head to toe. The look he gave you, you haven’t ever seen Dean looking at a girl like that, and God knows how many girl his eyes have been on. “Huh, Y/N now you know what to wear the next time you want Dean to shut up.” Sam laughed at his brother. “Bitch.” “Jerk.” Sam grinned You giggled weakly, your cheeks turning red a bit, not really sure what you could say back to that. Anyway, you weren’t in the mood to joke around. Taking a deep breath, you assure yourself that you were going to have a good time at the bar and change your mind from those demons who kept tormenting you. “3 beers coming right up honey” said the brunette bartender to Dean, smiling and giving him a good occasion to take a look at her cleavage. You sighed and rolled your eyes when Dean turned around grinning, totally proud of his irresistible charm. “Hey, I say we raise the white flag tonight Y/N deal? Just here to have a good time before the big day alright so take your beer and go take us a booth.” “Sir yes sir.” you let out another sigh before taking a sip of your beer. You could hear Dean complaining to Sam about how he was doing some effort to get along with you, but you didn’t mind as you went to take a seat. The night was young and the brothers and you finally succeeded to change your mind, you were kinda of having fun, even with Dean, as surprising as it sounds. Well, let’s say the alcohol you now had running through your veins helped a lot, but you still think that after tonight the boys and you were going to be closer. You were listening to each and every words, paying attention to every different kind of new monsters that were adding as stories went by, hoping you could learn useful stuff. “You still bust out crying whenever you see Ronald McDonald on the television Sammy!” Dean laughed at his young brother. You cannot stop laughing, eyes filled with water, hands on your stomach. Some of those stories were so entertaining, they could do a TV show with them. That’s when Sam was trying to tell about that one time they had to investigate a series of murders that occurred in a circus town that Dean’s cellphone rang. “Hey buddy, I’m glad to hear from you. Yeah, yeah no. What do you mean: Dean have you been consuming alcoholic beverages? Of course I have, what else a hunter could do to have a good time Cas. Why don’t you fly down here? Yeah, we’re at uhhh…” Sam looked at Dean with round eyes trying to silently tell him something. “Ask him if he could give us a hand tomorrow" “Yeah yeah, you got it? … Cas...” Dean closed his phone. “Son of a bitch still doesn’t know how to end a conversation properly.” Suddenly, you hear a sound which reminds you of a … bird? “You shouldn’t talk about a celestial being that way Dean.” You hold back a scream when you noticed that a stranger was now sit to your right. When you looked at him, a wave of feelings hit you like a freight train. You’re trying to process what was happening to you when the stranger turned his head to talk to you. “I believe you’re Y/N. It’s a pleasure to meet you. Sam and Dean talked about you a lot. I’m Castiel.” Castiel brought a hand to you. Your eyes were glued to his. His eyes, a blue you couldn’t define, a blue you could lose yourself in. After an awkward moment, you realized his hand was still in front of you waiting for a hand shake, or some kind of human interactions at least… “For fuck sake I look like a dumbass.” You thought You shook his hand quickly and added: “Y/N, my name is Hello.” Your eyes went wide. You could hear the brothers’ laughs, but none of this was reaching you right now. “Uh I meant, Hello, yes I’m Y/N.” What the hell was going on? Sorry for taking so long before releasing part 3, a lot of stuff was going on. I hope you guys enjoyed the story as much as I like writing it! Next few parts gonna pair Castiel x Reader, because I’m a Castieltrash. Leave comments, feedbacks, suggestions, I’m all ears guys!!!

[movietvtechgeeks]

Latest story from https://movietvtechgeeks.com/kim-rhodes-briana-buckmaster-talk-supernatural-waywardaf/

Kim Rhodes, Briana Buckmaster talk 'Supernatural' and WaywardAF

When one of our Movie TV Tech Geeks family members has something new out, we love to help promote it, especially when it’s something that every Supernatural fan will want to get their hands on. Lynn Zubernis, who writes some pretty in-depth and intense Supernatural recap reviews, has her latest book hitting on May 9 Family Don’t End With Blood: Cast and Fans on How Supernatural Has Changed Lives (You can order it here), has interviewed nearly everyone from the show, and we’re happy to run her ‘best ofs’ leading up to her book launch. If you want to attend her Los Angeles book launch check it out here. Her latest book features With contributions by Jared Padalecki, Jensen Ackles, Misha Collins, Mark Sheppard, Jim Beaver, Rob Benedict, Briana Buckmaster, Osric Chau, Matt Cohen, Ruth Connell, Gil McKinney, Rachel Miner and Kim Rhodes, and a Dozen Passionate Fans! Check out her classic interview with Misha Collins and Jim Beaver. Check out when we interviewed Lynn on her own Supernatural experiences. Check out exclusive excerpts from Lynn’s upcoming book! Now for Kim and Briana – Here’s a joint interview we did with both Kim Rhodes and Briana Buckmaster, which as you can imagine we couldn’t print all of it, but suffice it to say, we had FUN! And were Wayward AF. Both Briana and Kim wrote about the Wayward AF phenomenon in their chapters in FDEWB, and how their experience with this show and this fandom has changed them… This interview was so huge, we had to put it into two parts. You can check out part 2 here if you want to jump ahead. Life has been crazy, both for me and for Kim Rhodes and Briana Buckmaster – let’s just say they’ve been #WaywardAF and the fandom has embraced them every step of the way. I hope you got your tee shirt and sent your support, because if there was ever a slogan that fit our fandom, this one is it. The campaign was a tremendous success, both doing good in the world with Random Acts and inspiring all of us with the reminder that being #WaywardAF (and being REAL) is a very good thing. I had the pleasure of chatting with Kim and Briana at Houscon this spring to talk about their Season 11 episodes (Plush and Don’t You Forget About Me) – I’d call it an interview, except it was at least as much off topic and off the record as it was interview – but here are the printable parts of what we had so much fun talking about. Or in other words, Kim and Briana and Lynn all get #WaywardAF. And are pretty damn happy about it. I’ll pick up where I’m going on about how much we love having them at conventions. Because we do! In fact, I can’t wait to see them at Pittcon next weekend. Lynn: What people like so much about you two, I think, is that we finally have women who seem like us! Briana: Representation, yay! Kim: [laughing] Yeah, they’re tired and they’re angry and they cuss and they love people and they hate people… Briana and Lynn: [laughing] Kim: I think one of the things I so appreciate – because Briana and I really complement each other – but one of the things I think we both have in our strong wheel house is that we aren’t afraid to let an ugly truth show if it’s the truth. Like truth trumps pretty for both of us. Briana: Yeah, agreed. Kim and Briana (and Ruth) get real onstage: [gallery columns="2" size="medium" link="file" ids="46022,46023"] Kim: And that is, I think, how all people feel. Like they wanna move through the world but it’s gotta be pretty hard. I can imagine – and I’m only imagining this – but if I really respected someone’s work and their work meant a lot to me, and then when I got to meet them, they had a wall of perfection up, I’d be like oh, I can’t relate to that because I’m not perfect, I’m imperfect and broken and flawed and ME. And it would just create distance. Briana: Mm hmm. Kim: So I think something that we both consciously do, because it’s a part of us, and also because it’s important to us, is we’re like “Ah, broken, isn’t that awesome?” Kim and Briana: It’s just like yeahhhh, yep, here we gooooooooooooo! Lynn: It’s so funny, I just flew here from an academic conference, where I chair the Stardom and Fandom area… Kim and Briana: Oh cool! Lynn: So it was two days of academic papers and there was a panel comparing the old model of stardom, which was like manufactured perfection… Briana: Right, 1940s Hollywood, right? Lynn: Right, even when they were sitting by the pool, they had full makeup and hair done and so people couldn’t relate, but that’s what the publicity machine wanted. But that’s not powerful! Kim: Not anymore. Lynn: No, it’s changing, even if you’re a ‘celebrity’ you can interact with fans in twitter, or in person at conventions, so that barrier is different. But on the other hand, when you first started doing cons and let the F word fly, Kathy and I looked at each other and were like, oh, can a woman get away with that or only Sebastian? I felt like it was iffy in the beginning. Kim: Oh it was SO iffy, my character hadn’t been consistent on the show, and if I hadn’t had a twitter following… Lynn: But they also saw the fan reaction, and it was so positive. Kim: They had women who represented their concept of what they should be, and then I came in and I’m like, I’m old, I’m angry, I’ve got a kid, I’m tired, WTF is up with this? Lynn: You were real. And fandom welcomed that – obviously! Okay, so we should talk about Supernatural. Briana, your last episode, Plush. Briana: [laughing] That feels like a century ago! Lynn: I know, but it was such an interesting episode. And it bodes well for your character that the boys actually called her a hunter. Briana: I know! We were just talking about that, that they made her a hunter. And how some characters are just assumed and some are proclaimed a hunter. I think it was necessary for Donna, and it’s a bit like, okay, so what are they going to do with this character? Because they could have just ended the episode with bye… Kim: Yep, okay, see ya soon… Briana: But they said, you’re a hunter now, so there’s a reason they did that, but I don’t know anything, I’m not alluding to that. But it seems like they do have a plan for Donna. Lynn: At the very least, they left the door open. Briana: Right? That was probably my favorite part of the episode. Lynn: Did you have that strong reaction to it when you read the script? Briana: Oh yeah, yeah. [caption id="attachment_46027" align="aligncenter" width="535"] Hunters! Cap S_Verasani[/caption] Kim: We always are like, what’s in your script? What’s in your script? The first thing I asked her, I was like – you would tell me if you died, right? Briana: Oh yes, but [to Kim] you tweeted something that said guys – and you did the right thing , you were protecting yourself – but you said I’m not in charge of whether I live or die, ever. And I said that to my husband and he was like NO, and I said, I think she would have told me! But maybe she can’t or won’t, and I was like please don’t kill her off! Lynn: We were ALL like that! And for Donna too. Kim: Yeah, Donna’s not only the call in sheriff now, so you can travel anywhere, but she’s also a hunter. Lynn: I think this is the first time they’ve introduced a character that is not a hunter and then pronounced them a hunter. Briana: Other than Claire now Lynn: Right, just with the last episode she was in. Briana: But what about Jody? Kim: Jody is very specifically not a hunter. I teach hunters. Briana: I don’t think you’re not specifically not a hunter, I think you just haven’t been proclaimed a hunter… Kim: I think Jody was like, meh, that’s fine, I’ve got other shit I’ve gotta do. I don’t think she’s upset about it. Briana: Yeah, no. Kim: It’s not like I’m sitting there waiting to be anointed a hunter. Lynn: No, but she’s been proven a badass many times over. Briana and Kim: YES. Briana: And if the boys went ‘what? OMG I’m so sorry,…’ I think that’s totally what they’d do, like ‘OMG you’re totally a hunter! OMG OMG’ – I think that’s what it would be. Kim: I don’t think Jody is sitting next to the phone, I think she’s like I’ve got enough shit on my plate, if you need me I’ll be there, but right now, I have 50 million other things I’m trying to deal with. Briana: Exactly. Kim: Just with the human world. Briana: It’s so funny, we were just having this conversation in the green room. I think Claire amd Donna are like ‘Let’s go, what are we waiting for? Let’s go hunt!’ In different ways, Claire is like AHHH I’m gonna get ‘em! Kim: Well she’s young and she’s kinda emo about it. Briana: And Jody kinda wants to rein them in, she is the teacher about it a little bit…In different ways, but I think that’s kinda the fun thing about Jody not having to be called a hunter is that she can bow in and out of that because she is busy. She’s like, you guys are good? Ok I’m gonna go over here and save this town. Kim: Exactly Briana: But I think she’s the ultimate hunter, she’s the one that’s been around the longest. Lynn: I mean, she is a hunter, she just hasn’t been called that. But I feel like it made sense with Donna – that whole episode was about Donna’s evolution into independence and being aware of her own strength and her path of healing from all that shit, and that kinda fits with – like the next phase of my life, I’m gonna go kick some ass! Briana: That’s a good point, they did kinda like button up that part of Donna, so they made her a hunter at the end of the day and had her come around to Doug and say I’m sorry I was acting that way towards you. And then, that feels like it’s done. Which is a relief for Briana the actress. Lynn: Say more. Briana: I just want – but this is just me, the writers have a plan for the character, but me as an actress and also as a fan and an audience member, I just don’t want to watch women talk about boys all the time. Lynn: Then it would stop passing the Bechdel test. Briana: I know that damaged goods can influence your future and your present, but it doesn’t have to be talked about all the time. Lynn: Or in a relationship way always. I mean, Dean is damaged goods, but… Briana: And we all know that, but we don’t talk about it every episode. Lynn: Right. Briana: So I get that they need to get all that stuff out. Lynn: That was a lot of character development in one episode. Briana: I know, I know. In Kim’s episode too. Lynn: Briana, you and I have talked about this before – because Donna was introduced in an episode that was sort of about her weight, they’ve kind of kept that going, and I was a little put off in Plush when she pulled out the salt and said oh my diet secret, I pour it on my food… I mean, I’m not sure anyone in the fandom was laughing. Briana: I know, I know. I thought maybe, did they have to comment on the fact that I was slimmer, or that they needed to find an arc for my character, I don’t know why… Lynn: I think they did feel they had to comment on that, but was it really relevant right there? Briana: Right, who cares? Exactly. I think sometimes audiences are smarter than they think. Kim: There’s two levels there – on the one hand, it’s offensive to think that anyone’s validity and existence needs — that anyone has the right to comment on a character’s weight, that weight is at all a part of a person. But the other thing is, did the fans think, ‘was that Donna?’ Did they know she’s lost weight? Lynn: Right, like everyone was watching going omg Donna’s lost weight! Or wait, is that Donna?! Briana: Like what’s her diet secret! Is she exercising? No, you’re 100% right. I’m very grateful and I love my character, but Kim and I talk all the time about why is it so hard to write for women? Why not just write a script and go well, a woman can say that and a man can say that. Why are the words not interchangeable? Lynn: They should be. Although, it’s really interesting, Jenny Klein wrote the episode that Richard just directed, Just My Imagination, and there was a reference in that episode to a male character’s weight, which is also unusual, but they did it in a positive way, like the fat saved my life. Briana: In a loving way Lynn: And I love Jenny Briana: Me too, and I think that was a smart thing to do. [Kim comes back with throat lozenges and water, since they both were coughing] Briana [laughing] We used to be all cookies and coffee and now we’re all lozenges and water! [Everyone hydrates] Briana: I guess I like the fact that Donna likes food – I like food, and I think that’s a great character trait. But I don’t think it needs to be something she battles, that’s the unfortunate part of that. Lynn: The whole episode was about Donna’s independence, both psychologically and physically, her being strong, doing CrossFit, and the rest of it was so on point. Briana: And you know what’s funny? Some of the writers were like, oh, I really hope people ship Donna and Doug and I was like, really? Lynn: Umm, nope, people are probably not gonna do that. Briana: And it was cute, the whole conversation was cute, and Brendan who played Doug is lovely, we had a great time together. But it was just like, really? That’s what you get from the script? That you hope Donna shacks up with somebody? [caption id="attachment_46030" align="aligncenter" width="600"] Tweet @OfficialBrianaB – with the delightful Brendan Taylor[/caption] Lynn: Not really what the episode was about. Briana: I feel like men don’t know what to do with women sometimes except pair them with men. Kim: And, well, people don’t know what to do with bodies that aren’t a stereotypical perfect body other than assume someone’s suffering inside. Briana: Exactly, exactly. Kim: Like, this is the size 12 who’s battling with it. And you know what? When she’s a size 12, she’s fucking hot! It’s novel to think that people can accept who they are rather than assuming that like – I had someone be like, “You’re 46? Well that’s okay, I don’t mind”. And I was like, you know what’s funny? I don’t either! Lynn: You know what’s even funnier? Why the hell would they mind? Or why would you? Kim: Yeah, I don’t need your permission to be okay with being 46. So yeah, just that idea that if something isn’t the stereotype of perfection, then there must be an internal struggle to attain that something. Lynn and Briana: [are nodding vehemently] Kim: But again, I think that goes back to why we’re presenting a truth to the audience that isn’t necessarily seen. Because in our society, if you aren’t that Thing, capital T – which, by the way, isn’t REAL – but if you aren’t that Thing that isn’t real, you somehow must be suffering and either trying to become that Thing and failing or not trying to become that Thing and really sad about it. But you know what? That Thing isn’t real. And here’s the funny thing – I am. I’m trying to be me. Briana: People are also uncomfortable around confident people. Especially confident women. Lynn: Ohgod, yes. To what both of you said. Briana: People are always trying to put you down – like, how can you still be standing? Nobody likes you… Lynn: This is what Fangasm Supernatural Fangirls is largely about – that fandom is all about celebrating what it means to be a fangirl, and that includes being REAL. That’s so much of what fan communities are about and why they’re so powerful, because you can’t do that in the rest of the world. Especially not women. As a psychologist, I see so much of the stuff that happens when you can’t be real and your emotions aren’t validated – shame, guilt, eating disorders, self harm. Then I discovered fandom, where people weren’t trying to put people in perfect boxes, and that’s what’s so wonderful about it. And that’s why you both click so well with this fandom! Briana: And that’s why I love the panels, they’re always my favorite part of the con. Because, like Kim said, we speak truths, I don’t know how to speak any other way. And we often – I often put my foot in my mouth, more often on twitter than at a con. Usually there’s at least part of the audience at a con that’s gonna be cheering you on. It feels like such a good representation. I feel like the fans represent me just as much as I represent them. Lynn: I think that’s absolutely true. Did any shenanigans go on during the filming of your last episode? With the boys? Briana: Well, Jared’s always trying to bust you. But only on your coverage! Lynn: Of course. Briana: And if he can’t – if he does something and you don’t laugh at it, he’ll go like this – pffffff – like he’ll make you laugh by laughing! [caption id="attachment_46032" align="aligncenter" width="540"] Plush[/caption] Briana: There were always those scenes. You can read them [Jared and Jensen] pretty well, like sometimes they’re talking business and they don’t wanna fuck around right now, so then we won’t. But then there will be scenes where every time I’ll be holding my sides they would just wind up and smack them down, and then Jensen would kick them out of the scene and they’re just like –they’re toddlers! Kim: They’re like little boys. Briana: I said to my husband, when I was reading the script – Every single one of my scenes is with those boys, I don’t know how I’m gonna make it through! Kim and Lynn: [cracking up] Briana: It’s like with the three of us? It’s not gonna happen. Jared is the worst though. Kim: When they’re together is the worst. Briana: That’s very true. Jared alone, I had some trouble with, but when he’s with Jensen? Oh man. Nothing crazy though, just the usual shenanigans. Just like them teasing me. I feel like they treat me like a sister. [caption id="attachment_46033" align="aligncenter" width="450"] Tweet @OfficialBrianaB[/caption] Lynn: Well, they know you well now. The people who do the cons, you all get to know each other really well. Briana: That’s so true. Lynn: I was just chatting with Shoshanna Stern, who was a guest star on Supernatural this season… Briana: Oh, she was fabulous! So good, that was a great episode. Did you watch it, Kim? Kim: I did. And I was actually there when they were shooting it. Lynn: I loved Shoshanna, I thought Eileen was a great character. Briana: She’s done a lot of stuff too, eh? Lynn: [silently] I love it when Briana’s Canadian comes out… Lynn: It was interesting to hear her view of the boys, because she observes very keenly – and she said, I didn’t know, when they started goofing off, like am I allowed to laugh? Briana: Oh of course! Lynn: And she gave me this run down of how the crew reacts, the director, how she’s expected to react, and the unbelievable way they play off each other. That when it’s one of them, it’s fine, but as soon as the other walks in, they light up and their ages seem to drop by 30 years. Briana: Hilarious! Kim: It’s like the difference between having one puppy in a room and having two puppies in a room – like it really is, they increase exponentially! [caption id="attachment_46034" align="aligncenter" width="600"] Tweet @OfficialBrianaB[/caption] Briana: [nodding] Mm hmm. Lynn: That’s really true. Briana: But you know what? Actually, we’re the same way. Lynn: [laughing] That’s true! Briana: You find somebody that you really mesh well with and then you’re just more of yourself when they’re around. Lynn: Exactly! That’s why I thought it was funny when people hoped fans would ship you with Doug, because you know who most people ship you with. Briana: [grinning adorably] Yes! Her! Kim: [also grinning adorably] Meeeeeeeeee! End of Part 1 of the Kim Rhodes and Briana Buckmaster interview. Part 2 can be found here. We will continue through the launch of Lynn’s book with some of her best Supernatural interviews. Check out Kim and Briana's chapter – along with many other cast and fan chapters – in Family Don’t End With Blood. You can pre-order it here.

Movie TV Tech Geeks News

[thelairdecyfarwydd-blog]

Aha! Idk that was weird. ANYWAY, 1, 4, and multiples of 5 for the trans ask meme?

:) idk what happened!

1: How did you choose your name?

Nicolas was what my parents were going to name me, were I assigned male at birth. So I half did that so that they’d be better able to conceive using NOT my deadname? But if I didn’t already like the name I wouldn’t have used it anyway so.

4: What do you do to perform self-care when you’re feeling dysphoric?

Idek how to answer this because I’m? Always dysphoric??

Self care in general, is making food for me. Like, to the point of cooking rice or potato or pasta and making sauce or stir fry. Things like that. And when I’m up and moving, I clean the kitchen and by the time I’m finished I do feel good. 

But if the dysphoria gets really bad I can’t bring myself to do that and honestly? I just lose myself in a video game until the self loathing pushes through the dysphoria strong enough to push me to do anything.

5: What was the first time you suspected you were transgender?

Another tough question >

Sexuality and gender was so weird or me since forever. Growing up I insisted I didn’t want to be a woman when I grew up, but then when I got older my sexuality kind of took priority? I called myself a girl and used girl pronouns but it never felt right but it didn’t feel wrong enough to actually look into.

Then at some point in university I decided that I certainly wasn’t a girl, but that I wasn’t experiencing dysphoria so pronouns and name wasn’t important?? The thing was I dealt with my dysphoria all this time I just didn’t have that word for it because it was vague x.x. So yea I suspect I knew when I was a kid? But the answer for this question would be the university time.

(The time I KNEW was when I bought a binder for cosplay purposes and was like ‘holy shit, is THIS what liking my body feel like?’ It was a HUGE eye-opener)

10: What have your experiences with packing or wearing breast forms been?

I’ve done the sock thing a couple times and it’s kinda like meh? It didn’t do much to help me tbh because it was a fucking sock.

I’m looking into getting an STP-packer but they’re expensive and I’m broke so...

I can’t justify getting a packer tho because it won’t actually ever fucking show up. At least an STP-packer has some functionality. That’s the difference.

15: What labels have you used before you’ve settled on your current set?

Labels? Pronouns? ehh...I’ll go with both.

Started out with girl and she.

University point: My label was Not-A-Girl and Whatever-Pronouns-Work. Which usually meant I was called she and girl.

Then I went to...Gender-Is-Weird, I think. And I started with they pronouns then.

Next was my agender period, followed by just trans/queer. And now I kinda go back and forth between Gender-Is-Weird and queer/trans. Pronouns are still they.

20: What do you wish you could have shared with your younger self about being trans?

If I could, I probably would have liked to see myself when I was 13 and tell myself “Hey...you aren’t happy with your body right now and I get that and here’s why” to be quite honest. The lack of confidence in my body came from years of this shit and it still fucks me up today.

25. What do you wish cis people understood?

THAT SOMETIMES THEY’RE EXHAUSTING AND I DON’T WANT TO DEAL WITH THEM.

30: Who is the transgender person who has influenced you the most?

I mean you were the first one I met Jay?

Though the first one to tell me about it was Jem...

so one of you guys lol.

35: How do you feel your gender interacts with your race, disability, class, weight, etc. from the perspective of intersectionality?

I’m going to focus on disability for this one.

Surprising no one, I’m type one diabetic! Diabetes is SO. FUCKING. EXHAUSTING. You don’t think about it and I can’t get you to 100% understand unless you fucking have it. But I test 4 times a day, I take insulin multiple times a day. And my diabetes are always on my mind.

If someone offers me something to eat, my first reaction is “Are-my-blood-sugars-okay-enough-to-have-this?When’s-the-last-time-I-tested?Do-I-have-enough-insulin-on-hand?-Did-I-eat-something-high-fat-recently?”

Then I smile and say thank you or no thank you depending.

So when I was looking at starting testosterone, my first question was whether testosterone would affect my diabetes.

And my first google search on this was ‘testosterone effects on diabetes’

And every single search result to this date has been “Will testosterone give me diabetes?”

I went to my endocrinologist and she didn’t know anything about it. There’s no research for this? The reasoning I’m working on at this point is that I’d need to treat my diabetes nowadays the same way a cis man would treat their diabetes.

I really hope that’s the only thing.

40: How did/do you manage waiting to transition?

I didn’t?

Once I had a word for how I felt it was fucking difficult to deal. However I got REALLY good at contouring with makeup and so I frequently went out with a “masculinized” face. It was fucking hard tho.

I went looking for some old pics of my makeup but I can’t find em now. Oh well.

[photolover82]

The Masked Singer Season 3 Episode 10: It’s Super 9 Time! (April Fools Episode Commentary and Guesses)

Hi my fellow Masked Singer peeps! It’s finally Super 9 time! Nick Cannon has been talking about this for forever and everyone wants to be here... so here we are! Half of the contestants are gone and now we have 9 left (well after this post it’s 8, but you get the picture). So, since I have so many to cover (9 is way harder than 5 or 6 when it comes to detail), I am going to follow a tighter format with me only mentioning the Super Clue and April Fool’s clue after the performance. I will also mention judges’ guesses just bc most of my guesses haven’t changed (except 1, you’ll see). Ok, so let’s get started... 

Disclaimer: There will be a ton of spoilers so don’t read if you haven’t caught up on the show. Don’t tell me I didn’t warn you.

So, how the Super 9 works was that each group (A,B, and C) performs and of the 3 contestants, the ones who were in the bottom 3 were: White Tiger for Group A, Banana for Group B, and Rhino for Group C. 

Of those bottom 3, the one with the least votes who went home/got unmasked was: 

*DRUMROLL PLEASE* 

White Tiger 

Ya, so is anyone really surprised at this point? His performance was um, ya, um... let’s just say my thought after watching was wtf man. I was a bit uncomfortable and hoping for it to end. He sang “I’m too Sexy” by Right Said Fred and let’s just say it was the strangest (and not in a good way) performance I have ever seen. Having said that, I have known for weeks who he is.... 

So White Tiger was revealed to be... 

ROB GRONKOWSKI (AKA GRONK) 

Super Clue: He was doing the floss dance and shooting a basketball while saying “Swish Swish.” Gronk appeared in Katy Perry’s Swish Swish music video, which also featured the Backpack Kid who popularized the floss dance. April Fools Clue: “I’m just not bronze, I’m brains. I even wrote a best selling book.” Gronk wrote a book called “It’s Good to be Gronk.” 

Judges’ Guesses: 

Jenny and Robin: Rob Gronkowski (they were right yay, thank God, finally the judges got it... well at least some of them) 

Ken: J.J. Watt (sigh... Ken is always wrong... not shocked) 

Nichole: Joe Maginello/John Cena (both wrong... sigh... Nichole is turning into Ken with the terrible guesses) 

Alrighty, now that we are done with that, let’s talk about the remaining 8 contestants in the order they performed:

1. Turtle 

Performance: Omg you guys know how in love I am with the Turtle and I was so happy and excited to see him perform once more, I really want him to win. In this performance, he sang Higher Love by Steve Winwood. I honestly loved it, it was amazing! He looked so cool and effortless maneuvering the stage. Also, it showed a lot of his vocal potential and I want to see more of what he can do with his falsetto and hitting the high notes, because he just gets better and better. Can’t you tell I just love him? 

Anyways, having said that, my guess still stands as: 

JESSE MCCARTNEY 

Super Clue: Shown was a comic book titled “The Amazing Adventures of Shellboy” and it was priced at $10.13. He voices Robin in the animated series based on the comic book “Young Justice,” and it aired from 2010-2013, but it got renewed again in 2019. 

April Fools Clue: “I am not just known for one thing.” This one is too easy, he is not just a musician but is also an actor in various roles in both film and TV. 

Judges’ Guesses: 

Robin: Drew Lachey (ya, wtf, no) 

Ken: Brian Littrell (again, no... too simple to go the boy band route) 

Nichole: Nick Lachey (ok, Nichole, that was just lazy, going off of Robin and picking the sibling, again I say wtf no) 

Jenny: Chris Evans (woah, that one was way off of left field Jenny, almost a Ken guess) 

2. Kangaroo 

Performance: Ok, she isn’t my favorite ngl, but I can’t deny she is really good in terms of voice. However, this performance was not her best. Her voice was pretty shaky. The song, which was Not Ready to Make Nice by the Dixie Chicks, didn’t really show her entire vocal range I feel, but honestly if it is who I think it is, that’s a low key shady song choice, but I get the shade so I'm not mad. 

The person that I am referring to as my guess is: 

JORDYN WOODS 

Super Clue: Inflatable Kangaroo came out of her pouch and she said “alright dolls” = the inflatable kangaroo could be a reference to her younger sister who she refers to as her “mini-me” and the dolls reference is when she played a doll in Justin Roberts’s music video 

April Fools Clue: “I may be a kangaroo but I have never lived in Australia.” yup, self explanatory, the girl ain’t from Australia, and has never lived there. 

Judges’ Guesses:

Jenny: Amber Rose (holy crap, that was painfully close, especially with the Kardashian drama and connection she mentioned as her reasoning for her guess) 

Nichole: Leann Rimes (yikes, another really bad guess) 

Robin: India Arie (idk who she is, but seems like an ok guess)

3. Kitty 

Performance: Ok, ok, this is the one that I changed my mind about and it was such a hard pill to swallow to suck it up and say I am wrong and the Internet is right about this one. Every time I put my old guess on YT, (Lucy Hale) I always get “NO, IT’S *insert person I am about to mention in a moment*” and a bunch of people trying to convince me and I finally caved and agreed but that was because of one specific clue in particular, but we will get into that later. Her performance of Celine Dion’s “It's all coming back to me now” was so powerful and strong as are every Celine Dion song ever but to me it was her best performance to date and now I am clear on this new guess...

The new guess I have for Kitty that the Internet has nagged me about is: 

JACKIE EVANCHO (she’s from AGT, she sang opera as a like 7-year-old, well that’s how I remember her) 

Super Clue: The Tree from Season 2 and her saying “Christmas is the most wonderful time of year” = she has 3 Christmas albums 

April Fools Clue: “I wasn’t dreaming when Robert Redford helped me get my first role.” = he got her the role in The Company You Keep when she was 12 years old. 

Judges’ Guesses:

Robin: Emma Roberts (no... that doesn’t sound like Emma’s voice) 

Jenny: Vanessa Hudgens (Vanessa can’t sing like that either) 

Nichole: Nichole Richie (Really? Ya, I don’t think so.) 

Ken: Avril Lavigne (You’re kidding, right?) 

4. Banana 

Performance: Ok, so this performance was much different from his previous ones. I feel like he is starting to show more of his true self and not hiding his voice as much. With the song “Sweet Home Alabama” by Lynyrd Skynyrd, he showed more rasp in his voice than he did before which kind of made it more obvious to who it could be. 

That ever so obvious guess for Banana is... 

BRET MICHAELS 

Super Clue: A mullet was shown and Bret Michaels isn’t a stranger to the mullet, it’s a signature to his image 

April Fools Clue: “Blue collar means many things. I’m a funny guy, but not stand-up funny.” Ya, easy again, Bret Michaels is the lead singer of Poison and he does have a sense of humor, but he isn’t a comedian nor has he done stand-up at all. 

Judges’ Guesses:

Ken & Nichole: Brad Paisley (not their worst guess, but it’s too country of a singer... Banana fuses the country with a bit of rock) 

Jenny: Bret Michaels (she’s getting it... yay Jenny is catching on) 

Robin: Billy Ray Cyrus (see, this would have been a good guess, if he hadn’t have sung a Billy Ray Cyrus song in a previous round) 

5. Frog 

Performance: He sang “Jump” by Kris Kross and again he isn’t my favorite but he is pretty entertaining. For some reason, he is my mom and my friend’s favorite, which I don’t get. Whatever, anyways, this performance was fun and energetic and he is a great rapper/dancer what can I say? I feel the same way about him as I did about Kangaroo. Anyways, he is to easy to figure out...

My guess for Frog is still... 

BOW WOW (aka Chad Moss) 

Super Clue: Knight Armor= he was in a movie where he was a basketball player for the LA Knights 

April Fools Clue: “I am actually not a trained dancer at all.” = ya, duh, he’s never been known for being one either.

Judges’ Guesses:

Ken: Sisqo (what? just because of one irrelevant clue, you choose that Ken... le sigh) 

Jenny: Lil Romeo (meh... I guess that’s kinda close but no) 

Robin: Omarion (again, like Jenny’s guess... kinda close but not there yet) 

6. Night Angel 

Performance: With her performance of Rise Up by Andrea Day (which is A+ song choice), she proves that she is one of the strongest vocally in the competition. However, that's it, she doesn't dance or entertain as much as some of the other contestants do. Nevertheless, she has an insane vocal range and I still am sticking with my gut on this one... 

I am convinced Night Angel is.... 

Kandi Burruss 

Super Clue: Tricycle= reference to either her 3 kids or her high school, Tri-Cities High School (or both who knows?) 

April Fools Clue: “I am not just a voice, I am a mogul.” yup, self-explanatory, this lady does it all. She has a restaurant, a makeup line, a line of adult toys (let’s say that to keep it clean and PG) and has done multiple spin-offs of RHOA following her life, so mogul indeed.

Judges’ Guesses:

Ken: Tiesha Campbell (not the worst guess from Ken but still it’s a no from me) 

Jenny: Brandi (idk man.... idk who that is) 

Robin: Tamar Braxton (omg so close yet so far)

7. Rhino

Performance: Ok, so he was trying to be upbeat with What a Man Gotta Do by Jonas Brothers and I appreciate the effort, it wasn’t bad by any means. He does have a fantastic voice, but this was not his strongest performance. He did do a little dance move there and it was kind of everything ngl, but his strength is ballads. They just fit his tone so much better, but having said that, he took me a while to figure out but I feel good about my guess...

I feel like the Rhino is... 

BARRY ZITO 

Super Clue: A Slot Machine= he was born in Las Vegas (and he also got a baseball move called the three-quarter slot or something like that but I don't know sports so I am not good at these kind of things)

April Fools Clue: “I am not nearly as tall as you think I am.” The Rhino mask is as tall as White Tiger (Gronk is 6 feet 6 inches for comparison) but the mask adds more height to Barry Zito, who is only 6′ 2″ 

Judges’ Guesses:

Nichole: Vince Gill (meh... that’s a pretty ok guess but ya not there yet) 

Jenny: Derek Jeter (what?! I get baseball referencing but he can’t sing, he has no albums, come on Jenny do better) 

Robin: Duff McKavin from Guns N’ Roses (pretty ok of a guess too, but think less rock, more country... this would have been a more suitable guess for Banana) 

8. Astronaut

Performance: Last but not least, another favorite of mine, we are starting off with a favorite and ending with another one. He freaking Rick rolled everyone (Google it if you don’t get the whole Rick Roll thing.. too long of a post to explain) with “Never Gonna Give You Up” by Rick Ashely, but it was the best Rick Roll ever like I can listen to his voice sing anything (objectively it’s a pretty darn good song if you remove the meme aspect to it). Damn, bro, like his falsetto in the song was amazing. Like I said for Turtle, I wanna see more of his range. Also, like he freaking spoke in his performance unfiltered voice and everything and it was so obvious who it is like how are the judges not getting this? 

The lovely guy I think the Astronaut is (yes I have a soft spot for the Astronaut, don’t make fun of me)...

Hunter Hayes (and mind you, I also have a soft spot for him too) 

Super Clue: Holding a record with a world on it breaking (breaking a world record)= we already spoke about this earlier but refresher this guy right here Mr. Hunter Hayes, ya him, broke the Guinness World Record for playing the most shows in most cities in 24 hours, with 10 being the number of cities he played

April Fools Clue: “I’ve never had traditional voice training” = easy, Hunter has said this in many interviews in the past and recently had issues with his voice so he got a vocal coach to fix it 

Judges’ Guesses:

Ken: JC Chasez from NSYNC (really Ken? Boy Bands again? Are you really that basic and that clueless?) 

Jenny: David Archuleta (not bad of a guess, pretty ok, but the voices don’t really match up) 

Nichole: Ryan Tedder (again, not bad, but it is too obvious that it is like mind blowing they aren’t getting it) 

Ok, so ya wow that was a lot! I did it tho! This was my recap, sorry for the length, but I hope you enjoyed. See you in the next one! So excited to see what they will be doing next! 

[fmlfpl]

Lineup Lamentations - GW21

Our Transfers, Captains, and Starting 11s for the week.

WALSH

TRANSFERS:

OUT: Prosciutto face Bob Elliot

IN: Adrian del santo domingo del campo de angel di maria de Spanish guy

Am going with a very passive DGW planning move here and getting in Adrian to slot alongside Pope and floating my other free transfer. Lengthy discussion on the pod about my team funneled me here. While it would be nice to begin ripping out United players with Soton rolling up I'm going to give them a stay of execution. It will allow me to bench Pope for the double when he plays Liverpool so it seems impossible to not net me at least a couple of points providing Adrian starts both games in the double. Feels very nervy, that, but at this point it feels a reasonable risk to take. With two frees again for the double I'll reassess the things and see if I want to take a hit or not. Stay tuned.

GK:

Pope obv. Fucking Pope been doing some shit ass shit the last two GWs but finally has a plum fixture. Hope he redeems and gets in there. GK points would be most welcome this GW.

DEF:

Five at the back again for me this GW. Triple Chelsea go with Moses, Azpil, and Christensen. Christensen trained so seems likely he's not sick anymore good BODTKER lad. Conte talking of rest so we'll see if I get all three of these dudes in against the shambles that is Stoke.

Jones goes with Soton coming up. Clean feels pretty good there.

Finally, Lew Dunk master of own goals gets a run at Newc. Good on paper fixture but not really too overly hyped on a clean here. Back against the wall with no better options so he gets a go. I will forever dream of a Dunk goal when I start him in the days hours minutes seconds leading up to kick off. Get in Lewis.

MID:

Salah and Sterling most stable things ever. Nothing to see there.

RLC unfortunately has to start for me again. Not sure he'll feature since he was complete and utter wank against Arsenal but we'll see. Meh.

Fourthly is Pogba. REALLY could use Paul to show up for me this gameweek. His and my future depend on it. Not hopeful since it's hard for CBs to return in open play. Life.

FWD:

Just Lukaku this week as I roll out the ever common 541. Donkey fuck. Blah. My GW arrow will likely come down to my two United attackers. If they come in I'll be good if not I'll be hoping to just maintain rank or some such. Fucking United fuckbois.

CAP:

Salah. No question.

Also for those keeping score at home I've got Dale Stephens and Niasse piece of shit on my bench with Kane this GW. So even though I have some shit ass picks this GW at least I look decently primed to get 11 out with no hits. Small victories.

ALON

TRANSFERS:

OUT: Lovren and Chaz Austin

IN (For my first -4 of the season): Otamendi and Quaner

Who wins in a fight between a guy named Austin Lovren vs. a guy named Lovren Austin? I think Lovren Austin beats the fuck out of Austin Lovren but that’s just me. Anyway.........

Loooooooong “OUR TEAMS” section on the pod lead us to some good transfers, I think. I have many doubts and many zeroes in my shit ass squad - removing two of them to get a on paper starting 11 feels pretty good - and finally getting Otamendi in is very important I think. There’s just no one else until Stones is back - maybe soon - to cover his points and bones and goal potential. It’s frustrating to bring in a bandwagon pick, especially frustrating to be late to the bandwagon, but ya gotta do what ya gotta do.

Wagner is raving about insane in the Quane-r and his fitness so let’s just fuck I hope he starts again. All I can hope for. And he’s cheap as fuck which I like for my team structure so here we are... Very tempting to go further and make it a -8 but it felt one step too dumb and desperate in this moment.

GK:

DDG again. 5 total points in the last three GWs combined is not really what I’m looking for when I’m paying 5.6 for a GK but he’ll rebound. Like we talked about on pod we both kinda back Mou to figure it out and United’s defense to bounce back. Maybe too many injuries to go back to cleaning EVERY actual week, but as long as they go back to being a top 5 defense that would suit me. Let’s do it.

DEF:

So yeah here I am with United shitting the bed rocking a double with DDG and Jones. I could really use a bounce-back this GW with the very tasty home Soton fixture on the cards...

Duffy goes for me at Newc. Me and Walsh praying for the Brighton clean. Maybe Duffy and Dunk can assist each other with little flick-ons and both score or something. Hehe.

Christensen should be fine, hope he just goes straight back in because he’s great and Chelsea defense is consistently great. Do it bro.

And lastly Otamendi is in. I’ve said all that I can say about him pretty much... Sure Stoner will be better value once he’s fully fit and playing 90 every week but Ota is still more points potential with his passing, goal threat, bones, everything. He’s a really good pick. C’est tout.

MID:

The midfield starts with RLC home against City which feels really really bad. Even if he plays there’s not much there and if he doesn’t play then I have a 0 on my bench. Whatever fuck me.

Salah / Sterling makeup two thirds of the holy trinity (Kane the other) and everyone should have them both and don’t think twice about it.

And then Richar. Another pretty good performance from him and five pointer - although this is probably his final GW in my squad as Richar to Arny next GW seems fucking amazing to do.

FWD:

Morata with the chance to really fucking come in and carry me this week with the best on paper fixture in the league. Home Stoke is not that dissimilar to training ground exercises for a team of Chelsea’s quality so just have to hope that they’re in the mood and finish their chances. The chances will be there to be finished.

And Quaner. Ok. Duno what else to say about him. If he does anything I’m laughing to the bank. Here’s a picture of him:

CAP:

And Cap. I think easiest Salah cap of life. You could decide to go differential or whatever but just take note -- if you DON’T cap Salah and he outscores your cap you’re in a veeeerrrryyyy bad place. High percent chance of a red... Don’t overthink it. Let your differential(s) flourish outside of captaincy. And go on Mo.