#as anything other than orbiters of male characters

[manthequin]

Not gonna lie the way some people talk about the female characters from PBB/LL makes me want to lay on the floor

[jules-ln]

Sorry Anon, the post was too long so I decided to make it its own post instead of an answer

Let me write my Bible because I have thought about this more than I should and I'm mentally ill

First the silence of the girls

I'm going be honest and say that while I don't like this book, I can recognize that is very well written and author makes it very interesting

But!

The girls were silenced indeed 😅

Like, if you're going to market your book as a "feminist" retelling of the Iliad I'll expect your level of feminism to be more advanced than what Homer was writing

Don't get me wrong, I know that women and children are often overlooked at wars specially in a historical context, but what Pat Barker was presenting as feminism was simply "Women suffer more than men in wars 😥" and that is the same thing that Homer was saying hundreds of years ago, more than that, I'd say that Homer did it better

And you know, it's supposed to be a feminist retelling, so I was expecting sorority to be a thing, specially because the only other source of comfort, respect and friendship a woman like Briseis could have had then would've been other enslaved women

But no, we don't really see sorority in the greek camps for more than a couple of paragraphs at best, and I got the feeling that some women characters were just genderbents of the male heroes, like Odysseus's enslaved woman is clever, Nestor's enslaved woman is maternal, florals for spring? groundbreaking

More than that, in the Iliad there is a character named Iphis that is Patroclus's enslaved woman and Briseis mentioned being close friends with her. So you expect that being a close friend of the protagonist she should have a lot of dialogue, specially in conversations with Briseis, don't you think?

Bish, I don't even remember her talking at all to begin with, much less to Briseis! 🤣

The only meaningful relationship Briseis has in the book are Achilles and Patroclus, her life orbits around these men and the other women don't matter

And that leads me to my other point

Briseis doesn't do ANYTHING.

Now, I know, I know, I know. Briseis doesn't do anything in the Iliad either, but that's some of the problems I have with Iliad adaptations.

Like, none of them will EVER be as good as the Iliad, to any writer that think that they can make an adaptation of the Iliad be as good as the Iliad. Sit down, you aren't that guy

So really, they should just do what MM did. Do your own thing that can stand on its own without hanging on the Iliad. Even if it's different, that's a good thing

Now, I say all of that because, it would've been Good if Briseis did something, ANYTHING at all other than stand there and look pretty

You might say "it's accurate to the Iliad" I say "A protagonist that doesn't do anything at all and doesn't influence the world around them in any way is boring"

There was even this part where Briseis wonders about how much control Patroclus has over Achilles, And I was here like "Yesssss, Briseis is going to emotionally manipulate Patroclus to control Achilles so she can be the one who is actually in control of both"

Nope, that, didn't happen, like, at all

Even at some point the narrative kicks Briseis out of the story to focus on Achilles and Patroclus, and like, feminism where? 😅

Once again that leads to my next point. Patroclus and Achilles part was more interesting.

Unironically, the best part of the book was the relationship that both had, it was the type of relationship that was like "I love you, but ngl I kinda hate you and want to kill you too unironically" And I think that's interesting! That's new, I've never read anything like that regarding those two before!

But that's a problem, because when I bought the book I wanted to read about women, I wanted to read about Briseis, not about Achilles and Patroclus, and that the author made them SOOOO much more interesting than Briseis, is just sad

Then there's the problem of the rapes scene, which, in this day and age if you're going to add a rape scene in anything, you better have some freaking good reason. And in this book, they're there for mere shock value, it doesn't give anything to the story, it doesn't change the tone of the book, a good editor would've take them out, but I guess it was part of the "feminist" message 🙄

But really, I don't hate the book, like I said, it's well written in my opinion, but it is a disappointing book because it could've been a great book with some tweaks here and there

Now about The song of Troy

ACHILLES YOU SON OF A BITCH FUCKING LIPLESS MUPPET I HATE YOU Y SI CIEN AÑOS VIVO CIEN AÑOS CHINGAS A TU MADREEEEE

Now that we got that out of the way

See, the thing is that I've read the song of Troy some time ago, and I mostly rage read it so I don't remember it very well

Like I hated it SO MUCH it it it Flames flames FLAMES on the side of my head (yes, it's a reference) so I'm just going to say the things I remember that made me mad

🔸️Helen is the prime example that writing women that don't suck ass ISN'T an innate skill in women, like she was one of the most misogynistic characters that I've ever read and if I was Menelaus in this book, I would be happy that she was gone, bon voyage biatch!

🔸️Both the book and Achilles treat Patroclus like Trash

🔸️The story treats Achilles like an uwu boy that can do no wrong when in reality in the book he's an idiotic asshole estúpido kbron hijo de la chingada pinche mamon bastardo agarras tu espadita la haces rollito y te la metes por el culo pendejo de mierda. Yeah, I don't like Achilles in this book

🔸️Odysseus is written to allegedly be very smart, sadly in actuality he's very dumb, because you see, the whole thing about the fight between Agamemnon and Achilles was an elaborate plot by him to get the Trojans to come out if I remember correctly, now, I think any good good tactician will tell you that an overly elaborate plan that will result in like half of your men dying with no guarantee of it being successful anyway, isn't so smart

🔸️Briseis was written so badly... I'm just going to put it this way, at some point in the book Achilles hits her, and that was the best fucking thing Achilles did in that book, like yess fucking muppet slap that bitch again. Oh but don't worry, Briseis in the book was ok with being slapped and not in a kinky way

🔸️Helen hits Andromache, and so did Hector. I'm going to leave it at that

🔸️I don't remember too well because at this point the fog of rage was too thick, but I think Achilles and Hector kinda fell in love when they were fighting? Which was very weird

So make yourself a favor and don't read it

If you want a good adaptation read these

🔹️War music by christopher logue, it isn't finished because sadly the author died, but best adaptation I've read so far

Here's a quote I like:

"When Nyro’s mother heard of this

She shaved her head; she tore her frock; she went outside

Ripping her fingernails through her cheeks:

Then down her neck; her chest; her breasts;

And bleeding to her waist ran round the shops,

Sobbing:

‘God, kill Troy.

Console me with its death.

Revenge is all I have.

My boy was kind. He had his life to live.

I will not have the chance to dance in Hector’s blood,

But let me hear some have before I die.’

‘I saw her running round.

I took the photograph.

It summed the situation up.

He was her son.

They put it out in colour. Right?

My picture went around the world.’"

🔹️La cólera by Javier Olivares and Santiago García, is a comic in Spanish, but if you can get your hands on one copy, do it, it's so good and the art is beautiful, one of the best portrayals of Achilles I've seen, Pyrrha also appears

🔹️An Iliad, by Denis O'Hare and Lisa Peterson, is a play, and tbh I don't like this one as much as I do the other two, but it is SOOO GOOD too.

🔹️En mitad de tanto fuego by Alberto Conejero, this one is a play; short and sweet and the narrator is Patroclus, very new too, and as far as I know it's only in Spanish, but if you can get it, do so, because it's very good.

Let me translate a part of it to the best of my abilities to tempt you a bit

"How short was life, how short... Now bury me as soon as possible so I can cross the gate of Hades. Bury me, Achilles. And if someone in the future finds my tomb and opens it, let them see how smoke comes out of my shroud still. Because of the desire, Achilles, because of the desire"

[beansterpie]

B, D, J, L, T, U

Thanks for the ask moth!! <3

B - A pairing–platonic, romantic or sexual–that you initially didn’t consider, but someone changed your mind.

LMFAO Agohiru from ES21 😂 I remember when I first got into es21 back in highschool, Hiruma was my fav, but I didn't think much of Agon other than 'wow what an asshole!' and didn't like him. (Also I was a big Hirumamo shipper at the time, and I'm the type who clings onto One Ship for a character and isn't too interested in anything else lol) It wasn't until I got back into it in the last couple of years that I've come to appreciate how much fun it is to bat that asshole around, and just how loaded Hiruma and Agon's ~history~ is.

Though I guess no one person specifically changed my mind, unless you count past me vs present me lol. OH actually, what changed my mind was the fic "Independent Variable" on ff.net. I think I got back into es21 and was like 'you know, hiruma/agon totally has potential' and so was looking up fics of that pairing, and then I read that fic and was lost.

D - A pairing you wish you liked but just can’t.

Hmmmm oh, Merther (Merlin/Arthur) lol. Their set up as a ship is extremely juicy (two sides of the same coin?? fate ties them together??? conflict because their initial world views are diametrically opposed????) and there's soooo much fic for them, but. I just. I don't like Arthur 😭 Like, I mean, he's FINE. But the writing of the whole show is so inconsistent and there's entire seasons where he's just so shitty to Merlin for no damn reason in a way that I'm supposed to take as funny and silly which pisses me off more.

J - Name a fandom you didn’t think about until you saw it all over Tumblr. (You don’t have to care about it or follow it; it just has to be something that Tumblr made you aware of.)

I mean, most shows that have mainstream popularity that I never checked out lol, though I think one that I've seen a lot of shipping art for on my dash is Star Wars? I've seen the main movies, but I think this is from.... Clone Wars, or the Obi-wan show or something. I see a lot of Obi-wan shipped with... one of the clone guys I think lmfao.

L - Say something genuinely nice about a character who isn’t one of your faves.

Hmmmm this isn't even a character I dislike, but whatever-- Judeau! I like him a lot tbh but I also find him shady 😂

I like how his 'friend who gives good advice and just has your best interests at heart' vibe is subverted by his personal biases and emotions, even if he'd probably deny that lol. He's flawed and it colors the advice he gives, and he even has moments that I'd argue are kind of judgy. It's what makes him interesting!

T - Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending? 

Yes! Main one coming to mind rn because I've been thinking about Hiruma (ES21) a lot, is that Hiruma is on the ace spectrum! I'm usually pretty take-it-or-leave-it when it comes to sexuality headcanons, like I can buy most interpretations but I generally don't feel strongly about them, but with Hiruma I really struggle to see him as anything else.

U - Three favorite characters from three different fandoms, and why they’re your favorites.

OOHHHH. Well in Berserk, it's legit a tie between Guts and Griffith. I wouldn't like either one of them as much without the other in their orbit, and Berserk is one of those rare stories where both characters are really complex and compelling in their own way, and bring a lot of significant baggage into their dynamic lmfao. With Guts I love how sensitive he is, and the various ways in which he subverts and deconstructs the Macho Male Power Fantasy™ archetype, how at the end of the day he just wants someone to care about him and find worth in his existence. With Griffith, I love his ideals and his fragility in the face of the sacrifices those ideals demand from him, I love how much he cares and how much he gouges himself for caring, and how all of his stress and guilt and obligation still aren't any match for his love for Guts. And with both of them, I love how their upbringing informs their decisions so well to ruin everything even though they care about each other so much :')

w/ ES21, it's Hiruma lol which might be basic because he's everyone's fav, but for good reason! He's just fucking fun! I love how unhinged and demonic he is, I love the borderline slapstick loony-tunes tyle antics he gets up to, and I love his shamelessness. But I also love how accepting and realistic he is about his limitations, and how that doesn't stop him from striving for the top and going for what he wants. And like, for such an anime-level strategic genius type character, I love that such a core part of what makes him great is that he brings people together and uses teamwork and creativity to overcome everyone's various limitations. He's just-- so much fun!

And because this list is depressingly male lemme throw in a wild card-- Chase from Midnight Furies! It's a webcomic that I recently read for the first time, and Chase is the deuteragonist and a Hiruma expy lol. Which you can definitely tell, they both have the unhinged vibe and shark teeth, as well as the mysterious past and having a lot of cards up their sleeve, but I also think they're quite distinct. Obviously, Chase is a butch lesbian (which really does just add to her cool factor), but also I feel like Midnight Furies is a more grounded story compared to ES21, despite there being supernatural elements lol, and so Chase feels more grounded and realistic as a character. She's a bit more raw in her relationships to other people, and she shows vulnerability more, but she's also much more of a direct physical threat than Hiruma is. Because of that, she has moments where calculation gets thrown out the window in favor of a good ol' beat down, which of COURSE I love to see. And I think she has the capacity to be more ruthless. ANYWAY, awesome character, A+++ (please read Midnight Furies)

[alphabet ask meme]

[carmthebear]

Sydcarmy shippers have insinuated (directly too) that if you don't ship Sydcarmy, you are racist and don't want a black character to win and be the romantic lead. Which is ridiculous! There hasn't been ONE hint of anything romantic between them, it has all been platonic. Trying to turn it into something is unfair to the beautiful friendship they have created in S1 and 2. Friends can help each other through panic attacks, they can be mad/frustrated at each other, they can start a business together. Friendship is a form of love too!!!! I am surprised that Jeremy and Ayo did say publicly they don't see anything romantic between Sydcarmy, usually, actors are coy with that sort of thing. But i respect that they did come out and say it and that they would rather have Sydcarmy develop a close friendship and not be like every other show where the romance between the leads becomes slow burn. A guy and girl can be great friends and love each other platonically, it doesn't always have to turn into a relationship. And to be honest, I reckon that kind of friendship would be ten times better than watching them be in a romantic relationship. It's like we are wired to think every lead female and male should end up in a relationship. But I bet a lot of us have guy friends that we adore that we can't see ourselves dating, and those friendships can be so special.

I'm not going to generalize sydcarmy shippers as one whole consistent group, bc there are some nice ones. But there are also some mean ones and I stand by that. And the mean ones tend to feel like they need to prove something, which is, I'll admit, very annoying.

I agree with everything you said except the friendship thing. Personally, I don't see Carmy and Sydney as the conventional friend type. They've both been pretty shitty towards each other and I feel like they're both just orbiting the same space in their lives atm. That's just my opinion though.

I think the reason they're not being coy (cos you're right, they usually like to keep that stuff up in the air) is bc Chris had been adamant of the kind of story he wants to tell, and doesn't intend to let the audience sway that. Which I wholeheartedly respect and adore tbh.

[female-eren]

I'm one of your male followers and I saw you were struggling to get inside the mind of a man who thinks he's good but ultimately misogynistic. Part of orbiting Radfem circles is coming to terms that I was this man in someways, and I now make a conscious effort to not enable or partake in misogyny when I can. So I can give you some personal experience on the matter:

- I never thought of myself as misogynist or outright thought that "women are inferior to men". In fact, I didn't really think about it at all. The assumption most men have is that we are already equal.

- There is no real mental effort to challenge things that are misogynistic. I think you might understand this from the perspective of having been a child and raised to just accept 'you do this because you're a girl.' Men don't think twice about just accepting that as to why they don't have to do something.

- I don't think most men go to interrupt women when they're speaking, I do think that tends to be men who are a bit more outwardly misogynistic, but they will dominate conversations, without really thinking. This is something I had to stop myself from doing.

- Again, there are some judgements I think men pass without analysis. If a woman is wearing a lot of make up, she might be treated better but she'll also be treated as probably not being all that intelligent as one who does not. I think in a self-professed "Good male" character, this is maybe something better to show and not tell. They probably wouldn't think it in their head.

- Same with men who act a bit more effeminate, I think some well-meaning men are more than happy to let them be theirselves but tend to think they're a bit strange for wanting to dress/act like that. If you want to analyse that further, it probably has roots in misogyny and homophobia.

- It's also not quite recognising other mens behaviour towards women as something bad. Obviously, if they're being outright misogynistic and saying a lot of horrible stuff, we'll know. But if it's something a bit more subtle, a lot of us won't pick up on it. Some do though and just don't say anything for fear of causing a rift in either a friend group/work mates (though this type of man isn't a good man in my opinion).

I can send some more your way as they come to mind but I hope this helps.

Thank you! One thing I've really noticed, in real life as well as on zoom calls etc is that men will speak over me. The worst example was a group project in a class where I was on a zoom call with only men, about 5 of us in total. I was never allowed to finish my point, unlike the others in the group. It wasn't until the oldest man (most respected) said I'd actually come with a better suggestion than him that I was treated like I had anything worthwhile to say by the others (the others were my age) and could actually finish my sentence in peace. I think that's something I'll incorporate. Also, the idea that if a woman is better than the men, she is "just as good as men". Definitely the points you brought up about not recognizing other men's behaviors. "He's just like that" or "he was just making a crass joke" etc. And also the casual judgements. I really don't want to seem preachy with this character, like super obviously make his behavior almost unnatural because I'm so obviously commenting on it as bad, but at the same time I want it to be at least somewhat clear that he is bad and that all men who are like him (aka the very average guy) are bad because the bar is so low.

Thanks for your message!

[callsignbaphomet]

OC Ask Game!! Send an OC and an emoji!

🌸- What's this OC's favorite and least favorite color? Favorite color is blue and least is #1d2118 (dark yellow green that sort of looks brown).

🌹- What's this OC's biggest fear? Losing his (found) family and reverting back to how he was. He’s worked very hard to get to where he currently is and reverting back full would just be the death of him.

🌷- How does this OC take their coffee? Iced or one spoonful of brown sugar with a sprinkle of cinnamon, whipped cream and a little bit of chocolate syrup over the whipped cream.

🌻- What's this OC's mental health state? Currently he’s doing great, actually better than he has in years. He’s been hard at work going to therapy, taking all his meds and putting in the work to better himself and keep himself as stable as possible.

🌼- What's your favorite thing about this OC? Everything. Both of us have grown so much over the years, he’s helped me out so much in discovering some stuff about myself and as I’ve discovered stuff about myself so has he. He’s my oldest OC, I’ve had him for 24 years.

🌺- Which family member (if any) is this OC closest to? His only blood family is his grandfather so basically him. But family overall he gets along with all of them and is closest to Jelani, his husband, Loke, Trevor and Ginger.

💐- Where is this OC's favorite place to relax? The apartment has a small porch that has a lot of plants and flowers he has gotten over the years and has arranged it in a way that the little garden surrounds a very comfy chair and a little coffee table. He makes himself some coffee, ice tea, smoothie, shake or some juice and takes his tablet, small speaker and spends some time there relaxing.

🌱- Does this OC have any pets? Do they have any pets they want? He currently has a black and white male Papillon named Sasha. In the future he’d like to have a big ol’ rat.

🌲- What is this OC's greatest strength and weakness? I think his greatest strength is his sympathy and empathy. As horrible as it is to say, his past has shaped him as a person and has made him very sympathetic to other people and makes him very willing and able to help others. The way he sees it, he didn’t have anyone to help so he’d want to be able to help others when they need it most.

Weakness is definitely his self-doubt. It can really paralyze him.

🌵- How does this OC feel about physical affection? Physical is actually his go to for showing affection. He’s a notorious hugger, he loves to hug a lot. When it comes to romantic relationships he’s all about showing affection through sex but if that’s not possible he likes having some sort of contact with his partner via hand holding, hugging, cuddling, kissing–anything physical.

🌴- Who is this OC's favorite person? (Can be another OC, a fictional character, a celebrity, anyone) His husband.

☘- Does this OC have any piercings? Do they want any? Yes, he does! He has a few actually.  Labret on the lower right side, three on each earlobe, helix on the right ear, industrial on the left ear, orbital on left ear, double middle tongue piercings, nipple piercings, belly button piercing, double outer labia, fourchette and lastly a pubic piercing (which was recently added to the list). He feels he has enough of them but he IS a big fan of genital piercings so we’ll see if he wants any more of them.

🍁- What's this OC's favorite genre of movies/tv shows/books/etc? Horror.

🌾- How does this OC get along with people they just met? He’s shy though he tries his hardest to be friendly and polite so as to not make others feel awkward.

🍀- Around when does this OC get up in the morning? Okay, he’s a werewolf and (Oracle) werewolves need a total of 3 to 4 hours of sleep only so he’ll fall asleep whenever he feels sleepy and be ready to go and fully rested 4 hours later. His sleep schedule is really random.

🍂- What music does this OC like? Industrial, aggrotech and metal.

🌳- Does this OC collect anything? Yes! Japanese teapots. He doesn’t drink tea but he loves these little pots so much. He only has five for now but he loves them so much. Stickers too! He loves stickers so much and has thousands saved up and even uses them too because what’s the point if you don’t use ‘em.

☀️- Does this OC make good or bad first impressions? He tries his best to make a good impression but he’s aware that not everyone is gonna like him. For the most part he makes a good impression.

🌙- Does this OC have any unusual hobbies? Honestly, no. I don’t think any of his hobbies are weird.

🌟- Is this OC good at expressing themself through words or do they have to use other means? No, he isn’t. He’s much better at writing out or texting out his feelings. He’s working on it in therapy and at the very least with Jelani, Loke and Trevor he can verbally express himself better. He’s been known to go mute for long periods of time and he and Trevor formed a way to communicate when he does that and he feels so safe being able to do that and have Trevor to communicate with and given the fact that Jelani knows him so well he doesn’t need him to talk in order for him to understand him and gives him enough security to let him start talking again when he feels like it.

🌈- What does this OC like and dislike about themselves? He’s super proud and likes the way he physically looks. He takes care of himself and actually works on himself. As much progress as he’s made he really hates how, no matter what, he’ll forever have a number of mental illnesses thanks to his abusers. If he could he’d get rid of them and never have to worry if something will trigger a bad memory, if a sound will make him remember something bad. He wishes he didn’t have to take meds just to help him. He used to not take his meds until Jelani told him it was just to help him, most of the work to recovery was done by him and since then he’s been very okay with taking them. In a way he’s aware that he’s come a long way and he’s proud of that too.

❄- What is this OC's favorite and least favorite food? Favorite are steamed dumplings. Least are lettuce and broccoli.

☁️- What is this OC's clothing style like? He cross-dresses so he wears a lot of women’s clothes. Anything cute and playful (example 1, example 2, example 3). He’ll dress in men’s clothes too but unless he’s on the clock he’ll give it a feminine spin.

⚡- How well does this OC sleep? Heavy sleeper and tends to get a good night’s sleep.

💧- What is this OC most passionate about? Like other OCs he’s very outspoken and passionate about LGBTQ+ rights but given the fact that he’s intersex he’s passionate about intersex rights a bit louder. He does what he can to educate others on the subject. As a Moomborne he speaks out a lot for werewolves to come together more as a community instead of being so far apart from each other and is especially passionate about eliminating prejudices between werewolf breeds.  

🍃- Describe this OC in one word: Soft.

[nofaprecoverygary]

ITS Saturday December 30th ,2023

10:06 PM- DUNES Film

Sunday December 31st, 2023- Festival

New Years Monday January 1st, 2023

Anyways I thought the Timothy Chalamet adaption of trespassing on Saturn Planet to be an exciting reservoir of opinion on the young prince like appearance that was movingly reputable for his work as a young artist in Call me By your Name. Elsewhere my indrom minant level two under spade of the plot was the inter escape runaway from gain. The prospect of Tim serving a reputable role as warrior, was not extinguished by the idiom that the phsyic of the young was not nonaligned . The role play action unadept to the counter intuitive Bigger male that the rest of the back up cadets exhibited. But unknowing to anything poing on there, the overall misuse was the capacity to merge INTELA that arrived from other space colonies. 2U delivery Medicine, or Plants, based alliances. That could perhaps allowed the couple to escape by fare of payment. A smiliare Leah and Anakin, Dessert Space land that had placed outer rim of Celestial Orbit in a dessert Netherland. I must contest that Timothy Chalament,encompassed a rare ondly wallow of a piece of cake. The project reached 2u what its seems and Insorbinant time line. For the portray of Cinematography. There wasn't to the slighted clue a break in which there wasn't HDR X11 or DHD Crystal Zeis Information. The SEIS had allowed the face features of the conclusion to receive a resilience in which by Face, the art its its inept had com across as relevant. Irrelevant to plot twist the portfolio of young looking models provided the Cinema an advantage in conjunction with the rare upfront task of looking into “Beaux” as a singular film type.

The adaptations of characters that encompasses the “Save the world” conventional ascend to clima has a Pinnacle. I do say, the technology by merit has affirmative to have helped the ensemble come ov as Stellar, namely its simple design to reel that would like sum- Appraise. Namely aswell I must admit the landscapes of Jordan, Ethiopia, or Potential Sudan. Had a feel of desolate pome-grant, that made one believe. A Survival in the Land without Water. This I thing guides patrons to a “What if” Health-Kit, Instinct of natural regime. On the sources of plantation 2u gross an idea of Need. More than anything, iph anything the euro sphere biosphere gave, from a Interplay not unlike. But more unlike to other genre commonly in the year 2022. Of its release. No latter than 2021 In it official inception in Stores. But seemingly role as “prince” pronounced a touch murplex. Adventure, should say and Space Ship Explosion redundant.

Style rendering , space rendering of the GQ attraction in namely worn pleather accessories made 2u abandaon the New York vogue like features Haven and Interplay as Romdrant Nomads. In Shaman Throbes of Metallic X,Y, Z. These upfront castings of R &R, seemed to dry cosmo, or metrosexual to be able to be looked at upclose for the beax upon the era they are representing. Testament to the Vogue they seem to captivate being looked at in desolate planet.

[interact-if]

Day 2 of our Pride Month Event, with Brigid!

Brigid, Author of Event Horizon

[EVENT HORIZON] is a science-fiction-horror story, set far into a future in which humans are not alone in a hostile galaxy.

The Failsafe has been activated. War lingers on the horizon. Five years ago, you were one of the last people to be selected for the Failsafe and Final Stand Programs. You were frozen in time, placed into orbit at the edge of the solar system. And now, you’re hurtling through space towards a ship you’ve never seen before. The Nomad. A secret mission beyond the edge of the solar system, to stop the Enemy before they can begin their second invasion. A suicide mission. A point of no return.

Read more about Event Horizon here. Play the Demo here or here. Brigid is also the author of Lost Birds (link) and CLOSEDLOOP (link).

[INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPT UNDER THE CUT!]

Q1 - Please, introduce yourself and tell us a bit about your project(s)!

Hi! I'm Brigid, and I'm a writer, artist, and overworked college student, dabbling in writing IF. I've got quite a few projects in the works- all science-fiction, all overly ambitious.

Event Horizon is my main project; the story of crew as mysterious as they are doomed, on a one-way mission to stop the second alien invasion before it can even happen. It's a work of cosmic horror, split off into three massive "timelines", each of which showcases a different aspect of humanity (or lack thereof)- to fight, to change, to remember.

lost birds is a side project; a story told in many voices, all revolving around the end of the world and what comes after. Set nine years after the apocalypse, in the American Southwest, it concerns itself with a dead Ranger's quest for revenge- or something you can convince yourself isn't revenge- across the strange new wasteland, a world as hostile as it is beautiful.

CLOSEDLOOP is another side project; a fast-paced, cyberpunk-inspired tear through a dystopic City. Trapped in a time loop by someone or something calling itself "Control", the MC- just an average Citizen- navigates a day that repeats forever- and the consequences thereof.

In the near-ish future, I intend to publish a VN centered around the concepts of ecological succession, loneliness, persistence, and growth- a culmination of interests, and a capstone project for my art program.

Q2 - What or who are some of your biggest inspirations?

I'm unsurprisingly a huge sci-fi nerd, and it shows. Things like 2001: A Space Odyssey, Interstellar, Annihilation, Mass Effect, and many, many of the pulp sci-fi novels I read as a teen and young adult inspire my love of science-fiction.

Furthermore, my area of study (other than art) is ecology, so nature and the "nature of things" take huge precedence in my works for better or worse. Honestly, anything that captures my attention and thoughts are grounds for inspiration, things like poetry, tarot, paintings, music, obscure scientific theory, philosophical concepts. Or plants. Like 80% of my Event Horizon "research" was a Wikipedia plant rabbit-hole.

Q3- What excites you most about IF? What drew you to the medium?

I ran into IF completely at random- some artists I follow and look up to had posted art of IF characters and settings. Previously, I'd written short stories and bad notes app poetry, but this was more of chance to expand my horizons (pardon the pun). IF excites me because I get to make things- plain and simple. There's a joy to creating these characters, worlds, and stories- and in interacting with them- I hadn't even known was possible until I found IF.

Q4 - Are your characters influenced by your identity? How?

Yes, absolutely. I write what I want to see, and to me, that's greater gender diversity and WLW/NBLW representation in the realm of science fiction.

Science-fiction is male dominated, with a majority of authors and characters being male. The female characters I grew up with were token "girl on the team" characters, and nonbinary characters were often just robots or aliens, or other non-human characters. I wanted to do better for people who were like me, women and other nonbinary people. I wanted to create competent and multidimensional characters who didn't have to identify or appear as men to be treated as such.

As a lesbian, I like writing WLW and NBLW characters. I didn't really grow up with that representation, and when it was present, it felt wrong, usually because it was written off as a joke, or for men by men. By no means are the relationships I write between women (or the women themselves) perfect- but they come from a place of genuine care and nuance, and I sincerely hope the care I put into my characters and their relationships shows throughout my work.

Q5 - What are you most excited about sharing related to your project?

The move to Twine as a medium has been, by far, the most exciting thing to happen to my projects. I've got a lot more fine-tuned control over the way I get to present my work- and I'm just starting out, there's a lot more I can learn.

As far as content goes- there are a few major updates to Event Horizon and CLOSEDLOOP coming this summer, which I'm trying so hard not to spoil just yet.

Q6 - What would you like to see more of in LGBT+ fiction/IF community?

Is it selfish to say more WLW/NBLW characters and relationships written by women and nonbinary people?

Just in general, diverse authors writing diverse stories in a number of genres, anything and everything from slice-of-life to science- fiction.

Q7- Lastly, what advice would you give to your creators and readers?

Be persistent.

First drafts are first drafts for a reason; there is always room for improvement, you just have to be persistent enough to see or seek improvement. Stay curious, enjoy your work, and let the world as a whole inspire you. Make what you'd like to see, most of all. You're the only one who can truly tell your story.

[bornitereads]

Ancillary Justice - Ann Leckie

The Imperial Radch Trilogy Book 1

Read: May 2022

So when I was looking into Winter's Orbit, someone described it as a combination of Ancillary Justice and Red, White, & Royal Blue. As I had read Red, White, & Royal Blue already at that point, I decided to pick up Leckie's whole Imperial Radch Trilogy.

This is the first book of that trilogy. I hadn't heard anything about this book before, other than it's good. So I had a very pleasant time being surprised and delighted by this book. First of all, the world is so interesting. I was soaking up every detail, it was quite lovely. But the story really is in the characters. Particularly the main character. I know this seems obvious, but sometimes the world is more interesting than the characters haha. Not so here. I was invested in the journey, in what they were going to do next, or what was going to happen to them. I truly adore the main character here.

Inside the main story Leckie takes us to the past and tells a kind of origin story. It's like two separate, but connected, stories in the same book. Telling the origin story really adds to the main story, although they are in fact the same story really. It helps you understand the main character, and to explain their motivations.

The only thing I struggled with in this book is that the fictional imperial society doesn't have a concept of gender and so Leckie uniformly uses she/her pronouns for every single character. Of course since we (unfortunately) live in a deeply binary gender system, this lead to me viewing every single character as female. Even when it is explicitly stated that the character is male (biologically or presenting as such). But I kind of think that was the point. While this caused me to struggle with my mental image of the characters, it really didn't take me out of the story. And after a while I just accepted it, stopped fighting it, and if I imagined all the characters as female, great! It literally had no bearing on the story whatsoever.

My favourite bit of world building, though, was the Imperial military ships and their AIs. Totally sentient and actually treated as such by those that knew enough to realize it. Characters talk about ships having emotions, love, anger, it was all there. Plus they have former human bodies integrated into their...mind? Network? I don't know the right term, but the bodies operate as movable, semi-independant parts of the larger AI body, that is, the ship itself. Such a cool bit of world building! I really enjoyed it.

Info: Orbit, 2013

[remsmoonlight]

— title : theatre square

— word count : 2.2k words

— pairing : daigo dojima x reader

— summary : nothing but a nice day spent with Daigo in theatre square .. also Daigo still hates the fact he still sucks at the ufo catcher

— warnings : nothing but a few curses here and there

               ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*   requests are open ! / requested by anon *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

An unending chatter of noise that bleeds into each other from the various conversations of people going about their daily lives as they are captivated by their conversations through their mobile phones or the shopping trip they are using as a way to catch up with their friends to those just on their lunch breaks from their jobs — all do not take in that which surrounds them as you do, your eyes jumping from person to person. While you wait, you find yourself making a story up for each of them, using the game from your childhood to entertain yourself until your date arrives.

As the minutes pass your excitement by, the bright blue of Kamurocho dulls as does your enthusiasm. Time aches by every time you bring your wrist up to check the time on your watch, not a message to say they’d be late. Nothing. A heavy rush of air takes the plunge out of your lungs and into the air, with dejection and gloom the bricks that build its body. You wonder why a person would ask you out only to leave you without even a whisper to communicate their lack of interest despite being the one whose idea it was. People are confusing.

“ What are you doing here by yourself? “

Your view is interrupted as you turn to the recognisable voice behind your shoulder, a forced grin is plastered onto your features — hope courses through your veins that it’s not blindingly obvious that you’re drenched from the stormy clouds of misery above you.

“ Daigo? “ You ask as surprise lights up your eyes as you survey the man. “ It’s been a while. “

Your friendship with him had occurred by accident. There’s not a day that passes in the town where there’s not a poor soul being harassed on the street for some odd reason or another, it’s just you’d never thought that you would be in that very position. Often, you would walk the streets of the neon metropolis making yourself as small and as insignificant as possible.. However on that day your lone bubble had been burst completely. One moment you’d been blissfully content in your own comfort zone as you dipped and weaved in the crowded streets and the next you’d found yourself surrounded by a swarm of drunks.

Had the universe sensed your predicament, the unpleasant experience lasted no longer than a wore on fleetingly as your lips whispered its silent gratitude. They’d scattered once an order to cease had been uttered by Daigo, as if they’d never been there in the first place, not even a shadow in their place. Apologies had been issued and usually you’d not even stayed long enough to accept them but his words were as remorseful as his eyes were true.

“ Yeah, I had something to deal with. “ He responds, digging his hands into his pockets.

“ It didn’t happen to involve this town being under siege, did it? “ You question him, a brow lifts up knowingly as your expression shifts.

His past had been no secret, you made no move to judge — his actions spoke louder than any riotous melody should weave the ability to. As you stared down at the scene from your apartment high above the glowing lights of the town, all you could see was a maze of smoke littering various areas you know well, especially as you’d walked their path that very morning. Terror prevented you from leaving, the unknown of what could occur should you walk that path played into your fear with an unyielding grip on your body.

“ These past few weeks have been something. “ He swallows lightly, his circumstances have certainly altered in the passing days. “ You haven’t answered my question. “

“ I was waiting for someone.. “ You shrug with a mousy chuckle, preferring to not let on how disappointed you feel. “ I don’t think that’s happening now. “

“ Who would stand you up like that? “

It would be a falsehood to say that he’d never imagined a closer relationship between the two of you the more he laid eyes upon your form. Noting mentally how you would persistently shine brighter than venus yet everyone who interacts with you would gravitate towards you as if you took on the form of Jupiter and they became an additional moon to orbit your infectious laughter. No sooner than he’d met you, he fell under the spell that many who interacted with you had — becoming one.

“ Well, we’re not all too close. I’m not bothered about it really. “ You lie, your words to anyone else would have gone amiss, but he’d picked up the soft falter in your voice.

“ Let’s go. “

Your gaze follows his retreating form, your body still glued to the spot it has occupied on the bench. Had you anything to say your mouth would be opening and closing like a fish, it’s not long until you manage to snap yourself out of the stupor he’d led you into and you’re both now standing outside the Club Sega arcade. A mist of uncertainty begins to fog slowly as the wheels turn in your mind, you’d only ever seen him settled into establishments where alcohol was served. Just what has he been through recently?

Chords of a catalog of sources flow through your hearing as your sight scans the area, electronic notes from the games move in rhythm with the joy those emit from the entertainment they gain from the amusements to the despair others make vocal as they lose a battle or have run their turns out on the UFO catcher. Fingers slip into your as you feel yourself tugged into the direction of a game with large seats, already knowing the game you know you’re terrible.

“ Why not another game? I’m horrible at this. “ You complain as you stare at the intimidating structure of the game.

“ It makes it easier to beat you then. “ He chuckles, a spark softly swaying in his eyes as he turns his attention to you.

“ You’re not being fair, Daigo. “

“ The aim is to win, you’re just going to have to try harder to beat me. “

You do as he says. It takes a colossal effort to direct your mind to organise itself in order to give yourself a fighting chance at winning, and it does work — to an extent. A thread of tame curses tumble unceremoniously from your lips as your character is knocked out once more, and the distractions from the male finding humour in your disaster beside you does not help your cause. Your eyes roll as the game ends once more, with you failing to get a win over Daigo, there’s no need to turn to face him for the smugness radiates off of him in waves.

“ See? I’m awful! “ You whine as your shoulders slump in defeat.

“ Let me make it up to you.. “ Daigo speaks with a comforting tone, no longer relishing in his victory. “ I’ll get you one of those toys from the UFO catchers. What one do you want? “

Your lips twist and turn as your teeth sink into the flesh to bite on them in contemplation as you eye up the prizes from your position, the lengthy distance doing nothing to hinder you as the sight of a pillow pups toy stands out confined to its glass prison. The golden retriever is too irresistible to the childishness within you as your eyes narrow as you reluctantly share your desire for the toy with him.

“ Make sure it’s the golden retriever one. “

“ Yeah, I got it. “

“ I hope you do. “ You comment in a steady tone, a palm leaning on the pane.

The music begins and you scrutinise the scene before you with an eager eye as the metallic claw first moves left. Determination chisels itself into his features as his brows lower in a physical representation of his focus. To win the plush toy would be the most simplest effort in the world yet it would be the first step in treating you how he should have been treated at the start. Truthfully, he’d wanted nothing to do with forging bonds that could be so easily disintegrated, however he could never build up the strength to tear himself away from you. Instead of feeling drained from the human interaction, he’d leave your encounters revitalised.

A groan leaves the both of you as the first attempt leaves all of the toys still confined to their places, the one you specifically want at the back firmly in the middle. A tough spot, you remark.

“ Fuck. “

Giggling to yourself, your teeth shine brighter than any star as they are on full display from the action as the frustration of the man is surprisingly amusing to you. Again, the claw had found itself short of where it should be, and the last chance of retrieving the toy desired so much is shown clearly on the metallic panel.

“ Let me, Daigo. “ You comment, pushing him to the side with a weak force. Rolling your shoulders dramatically, you grab the controls of the game. A breath is held as the claw makes its way left, the toy stands out temptingly from its position. I have to get this, it’s so cute! You do not listen to the prompt to let it descend from Daigo just yet, allowing it to inch its way further back ever so lightly. Your eyes are transfixed as you watch the toy is clutched in a clumsy hold, your heart speeds up at the sight of the lessening grip with each jagged movement that leaves the toy released earlier than it should.

A relieved sigh is released as it falls through the empty space at the last minute, just managing to pass through with seconds to spare.

“ I’m still shit at this. “

“ So you know how it feels now? “ You ask him with a smirk, interlocking your arm with his as you reflect on the surprisingly good time you have had with him. “ Ooh, let’s go to Café Alps, I fancy something sweet. “

The proximity between you both is small, with both hands secured firmly in his pockets Daigo enjoys the basic experience. A buzz of energy bubbles between the two of you as you converse interactively, you can’t help but notice a level of tension has been removed from his shoulders, the man next to you appearing a little more relaxed. The walk is short to the café, you can’t help but continue to stare at the bright displays of the stores as you pass by as if you’re witnessing them for the first time. Life is certainly vivid and lively in Kamurocho.

You turn your attention away from Daigo ordering to the life outside from your spot on the cushioned wall couch. It doesn’t go unnoticed that darkness has overtaken the skyline completely, even with the glistening neon lights the stars fight to make themselves seen.

“ Thank you, Daigo. “ You begin, a leading inflection heavy on your words as you sip slowly on the hot liquid. “ I have to ask though, what’s this all for? “

“ Does there have to be a reason? “ He deflects as you cock your head to the side in response.

“ You’re you. There’s always a reason to everything you do, I know you that well at least. “ You respond, before placing a piece of the chocolate parfait. A short wiggle of your shoulders at the enjoyment of the sweet treat lends some amusement to Daigo before an air of sobriety returns to his outward expression.

“ I haven’t been the best to you. “

“ Dai — “

“ Please, let me finish. “ He interrupts suddenly, eye contact unwavering as he continues to study your form. “ I had you as a friend but even then I would hold you at arms length more often than not. I’m surprised you’ve put up with me. “

“ I’m not going to say you’ve not been difficult.. But you don’t see what I do. “ You comfort, there had been days where he’d been more insufferable than a child, but you know humans are more than one dimensional creatures.

A culture of existing in a positive bubble perpetually is no way to live, for it denies you the chance to feel the emotions that slash your soul deeply. Is it easier to think it would be easier to live if you only experience happiness? Perhaps. But never does the find feel clearer after releasing the negativity that darkens your walls.

“ Huh? “

“ You’ve been through a lot, it’s not excusable to be an ass but it’s understandable. “ You shrug with little effort, shaking your head nonchalantly. “ Besides, you haven’t been as bad as you think. You’re human, you have your off days. We all do. “

“ Still, I don’t want to be an ass to you. “ He confides, moving his hand to envelope yours. There’s a surging warmth that the pair of you notice simultaneously threads between fingertips more seamlessly than when ink glides onto paper with the grace of a bird that soars through the bright blue sky.

He’d lived long enough in a world built of paper, using it as a means to escape the reality the world so harshly has built into it.

“ Then don’t. “

[komatsunana]

I don't like the reira/layla very much, my feminist side wants to spank her, everything her plot turns into a man, ahhhhh boring woman apart from that. what do you think of her?

I'm. ok. okokokokokok.

I'm gonna be honest. This is the most bonkers ask I've ever gotten in over 10 years of being on tumblr.

Like, you want to spank her?? Your feminist side???? Is there like, a feminist way of spanking I don't know about?

idk, spanking has Connotations. And while I'm assuming it has no sexual meaning here, I mean... what? You want to punish her? Not for being a child predator, but for... having a storyline in which revolves around a lot of men? You want to commit violence against a woman in the name of feminism, and not in the name of harming someone complicit in child sex trafficking? You want to use corporal punishment in the hopes of teaching her a lesson, despite a multitude of studies saying that it doesn't work and it's just abuse? You want to spank her like she's a child, when my last post has an entire section dedicated to why I don't like people treating Reira like she's a child?

I'm just confused.

And how is any of this connected to your assumed feminist side? Cause I'm sorry, no hate no bad feelings but. Sounds more like a watered-down feminism buying #GirlPower t-shirts at Forever21 for $25, that believes women can be at fault for their own oppression as women if they don't act a certain way. Very “There is a special place in hell for women who don’t help other women.”

Since you asked me, I think Reira is FACINATING. The way she acts as a foil to Nana and Hachi's bond as women, where Reira lacks any female friendships other than Mari who is her employee. Like, I find that to be the part that I notice about Reira most.

And the way Reira is floundering, unsure of who she is outside of her voice because every achievement she's made as a singer were not by her own action, but Takumi's. So instead she turns to romantic relationships with MEN yes trying to find some other meaning for herself. Yasu breaks up with her so she can move to Tokyo for her singing career, Takumi revolves his entire career empire around her voice, and Shin who she broke up with for her career.

So all she's left with is her voice, but when that's all she has... I mean what can she use that voice to even say?? FACINATING. Especially when the one time she uses that voice in a last ditch effort to use her voice for something good, she does it by choosing to use that voice, her only strength and good point, and Ren DIES. Like how very The Little Mermaid women-shouldn't-give-up-their-voices-for-men of you Yazawa.

And there's a lot of reasons to not like Reira to be sure - people are free to not like or dislike any character for any reason.

Such as Reira being for all intents and purposes, is a child predator, specifically of a child who is being sex trafficked??? Like the narrative only really sees it wrong in so far that it's socially unacceptable and not that it's an actual moral evil to do. But then, as was recently pointed out to me, Reira has turned her reliance on male children into an actual pattern with Ren Jr. Like that's a whole post on it's own, unpacking how Reira who can be likened to a song bird in a cage, a princess in a tower, who only has her voice... using whatever little power she has in her life to ensnare young boys into her orbit.

I seriously want to reiterate I'm not Mad or anything. This is just my own personal feelings, but I guess you asked for them. I’m just always gonna find Reira hate to be suspicious if there is no mention of her relationship with Shin, because that’s her biggest red flag. You don’t have to agree or anything but idk. Maybe be more careful when sending Anonymous asks to people cause idk I guess I do find asks of this nature to be disturbing.

[canary3d-obsessed]

Lost Tomb Reboot Lewks: Part 12

(Masterpost) (Other Canary Stuff)

Warning: Spoilers for both seasons of The Lost Tomb Reboot

Look 61

The first look is Wu Xie’s road trip outfit, which includes this grey and white jacket. It has a contrasting elastic waistband, cuffs, and neckline, and slanted pockets. 

This is exactly the sort of jacket that my 5th grade science teacher would have worn in 1979, and she would have slayed in it.  She awakened something in me and it wasn’t love of STEM. (Spock was responsible for my love of STEM, and various other awakenings in 5th-grade me) I’m sure it would still look great on her, because she is probably a silver haired foxy granny now, and that’s who this jacket belongs on in the current century.

Wu Xie should never have gotten within a mile of this old lady jacket.

To clarify, I’m not being gender-essentialist here; I’m being ageist. If this jacket had some contemporary detailing or interesting features to offset its last-century vibe, the way Bai Haotian’s green roller derby jacket does, it would be fine even though I’m not a fan of this sort of collar in menswear. But it’s just a nicely-made old lady jacket. Mary Berry could bake a nice cake while wearing this jacket. 

Note: Liu Sang could wear the hell out of this jacket, of course, because that man can wear literally anything and make it look like it’s made of spun pheromones.

(more after the cut!)

Wu Xie eventually improves this look by taking the jacket off and giving the camera operator a nice long look at his ass. He’s wearing dark jeans and a long-sleeve white thermal shirt, which is a great improvement. 

Look 62

The granny jacket is contrasted by the blessed arrival of Huo Daofu’s daddy jacket, and the rest of the clothing that Huo Daofu is wearing with it.  This is a dark green jacket with a nipped in waist, military styling, and invisible stitching that says "obey" You can't see it, but oh, it's there.

He's wearing this jacket of domination with jeans so tight they appear to be made of paint. I approve of these jeans so much that I might need to take a break from writing for a moment. 

Instead of shoes he’s opted for a pair of tall riding boots, just in case anyone failed to get the message.

He finishes off this look with gold rimmed glasses, pomegranate-toned lips, and an air of authority so strong that even Pangzi does what he tells him to with minimal back chat.

Later the jacket comes off, so he can wrap it solicitously around the shoulders of a person who is already wearing a perfectly good jacket.  OP looks up “service top” in the dictionary.

Underneath, Huo Daofu is wearing a grey houndstooth waistcoat. Shen Wei’s tailor would gnash his teeth in envy, if he saw the cut of this vest. This tops off a warm-toned brown shirt worn with a silver-toned watch. The watch is...round, and it tells time. He’s wearing a brown belt with his black jeans. Huo Daofu is great at combining warm and cool, formal and casual, in a single look. 

Look at this dapper bitch. Slaying this hard has got to be against his Hippocratic oath.

This jacket-free look is combined with hip posture so provocative that it sends Wu Xie into a hasty search for the last scraps of his heteronormative assumptions. Xiao Bai does her best to help.

Look 63

The beards. 

OP's family of origin is full of hairy visigoths, so Pangzi's beard is a style I've encountered before, alas. We call this a [US] Civil War beard. This one is terrible and lopsided, but at least it covers a lot of Pangzi’s face.

Wu Xie’s fake facial hair isn't terrible, but isn't great. You can tell it’s fake because everything about Zhu Yilong is inherently lovely, and this isn’t. 

Also, it's a ridiculous idea for a disguise. Wu Xie's close-trimmed chin patch and mustache are nice style, very typical for a Chinese dude. They let Wu Xie’s lovely facial structure continue to do its thing while they just provide a bit of an accent. But this is a problem, because they don't change his appearance in any meaningful way; his cheekbones are still visible from orbit. 

He’s wearing this facial hair and cap with the same vest he wore earlier to practice slingshot. This time he's accessorizing with a simple tan jacket, with an interesting buttonhole detail... 

...and with an attractive human IV stand.

Doctor doctor, give me the news, I've got a bad case of loving you you loving me.

Look 64

This look belongs to the man that Jia Kezale’s wife has replaced him with. We have to infer his look based on his shoes, and that he is presumably in the same league as the extremely hot Jia Kezale. 

Based on these shoes, which are very nice, if a little weathered, Huarache-style loafers, this other man in her life also presumably wears linen trousers and a guayabera shirt. 

*mentally pictures this person* 

ok, I guess I don't blame her. 

[Image, and shirts, from cubavera dot com]

Look 65

After having his IV fluids, Wu Xie goes for a nighttime motorbike ride, because he apparently needs to go way up on a hill to see that the hotel he’s staying in is circular.

So, what is with the Ultraman motorcycle helmet? Does it have any padding or insulation at all? Why doesn’t it cover more than 40 percent of his head and face?

And shouldn't it have a chin strap?  How does it stay on in a crash?  I mean yes I know this is a show with sentient crustaceans...yeah, never mind. I’m sure that’s a super effective helmet. 

Once the rain starts, his mustache and beard look better. Still not great, but better. Here he looks like he’s cosplaying as Zhou Yunlan.

Now he’s wet and lying on the ground because...oh, hell if I remember. Just look at him, poor moist snookums. He needs a blankie and a hot tea and a hurt-comfort fic about him and his doctor. 

This look gives the newest members of the polycule an opportunity to demonstrate their devotion, as they haul him off the motorcycle and over to a wall, and then continue to stand in the rain, for some reason, instead of going indoors. 

I gotta say, when a producer decides to pour water on Zhu Yilong, they  commit to it.

Speaking of commitment, here’s Huo Daofu holding his hand up over Wu Xie’s face like a tiny umbrella. 

Bonus 1

Look at the yellow duffle coat on that kid. She looks beautiful and classic, and the mustard yellow color just pops so nicely in this scene. 

The mustard yellow also visually marks her allegiance to gold-dragon-wearing Xue Wu. 

Bonus 2

This look is Wu Xie’s antique-scheming outfit, but now he is wearing the Sunglasses of Manpain. They belong to Pangzi, but Wu Xie is wearing them while he waits for Pangzi to collect his angst from the morgue.

These sunglasses are good to wear while contemplating the fact that, despite the many differences in narrative tropes between Chinese and Western media, the one where a female character is hurt and/or dies merely to further a male character's emotional development remains a constant.

That said, this is a nice small signifier of their relationship, as he puts these glasses on Pangzi, allowing him to hide his feelings, while hugging him, allowing him to express his feelings.

[shimmersing]

Constellation

Part One | Part Two | Interlude | Part Three

Rating: General Audiences Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: F/M, Gen Relationships: Female Jedi Consular | Barsen'thor/Male Republic Trooper, Jedi Consular | Barsen'thor/Republic Trooper Characters: Female Jedi Consular | Barsen'thor, Jedi Consular | Barsen'thor, Qyzen Fess, Yuon Par, Parkanas Tark-Lord Vivicar Additional Tags: Angst, Tython, Emotional, Mentioned Mutual Pining, Fluffy, Sad, Melancholy

Returning to Tython after shielding the last master suffering from Vivicar's Force plague, Aitahea is faced with more struggle in her efforts to heal the Order and keep the Force in balance. Tired, injured, and longing for someone she can't have, perhaps ever, the lines of her responsibility as a Jedi and her own convictions begin to blur. As Aitahea nears the end of her quest to save Yuon Par and the other Jedi Masters, she’s confronted with painful revelations and answers that only give rise to more questions. Shouldering the lives and minds of Jedi across the galaxy – alone – may prove to be more than Aitahea can bear. AN: Welcome back! This story follows shortly after the events in Best Intentions and closes out Chapter One of the Consular storyline for Aitahea (and Erithon, peripherally). The one-shot, first-person piece Impending occurs in the interim between Parts 2 and 3. Thank you and enjoy! *Now with paragraphs in proper order!*

Part One

Aitahea trembled next to Satele Shan on the bridge of the transport, fingers pressed to her lips while starlines streaked past.

“What troubles you, little one?”

The girl dropped her hands to her sides without looking at Master Satele, keeping her gaze focused on the soothing radiance of hyperspace. “Nothing, Master. How long until we reach Alderaan?”

“Soon now, Aitahea.” Satele dropped to one knee and placed a hand on the child’s shoulder. “You’ll be safe there. Your training will continue. We need you to be strong for the Order. For our future.”

She drew in a deep breath. “I know, Master Satele. I am strong.” But beneath her robes, her stomach flipped and flopped.

Aitahea trembled next to pilot Prelsiava Tern on the bridge of the Luminous, fingers pressed to her lips while they slipped from the grasp of Alderaan’s gravity.

“What’s got your head turned around, Jedi?”

The Jedi dropped her hands to her sides without looking at her friend, watching as the once-familiar constellations blurred out of sight. “Nothing, Sia. How long until we’re underway?”

As usual, her pilot’s concern was genuine, attending in a gently cavalier way that often left Aitahea feeling uplifted. “As soon as we clear the gravity well; just a few more minutes.”

Qyzen had no such compunction, his words blunt as a training saber. “Soldier remains forefront in your thoughts, but past also. Put these away so we may focus on Yuon. Both mate and memories will wait until dark thing is vanquished.”

“I have every int-” Aitahea choked at the sudden comprehension of Qyzen’s words, face flushing a bright rose. Sia craned her head around the pilot’s seat to grin at Aitahea with unabashed glee. Aitahea shrugged at the Mirialan woman and turned to Qyzen. “Excuse me… mate?”

“Herald’s Republic lieutenant, met on Taris. Thought perhaps you’d accepted as mate on Alderaan,” Qyzen mused. Sia whistled low and turned back to the pilot’s console, doing an impromptu and quite thorough safety check of the seat’s crash webbing.

The Jedi took a deep, calming breath, the carefully measured motion keeping her from bursting into terribly unsuitable laughter.

If Qyzen noticed her discomfiture, he gave no sign. “Human emotions strange; sad one moment, amused next.”

Aitahea primly lifted her chin, focusing seriously on her friend. “Forgive me; I apologize for the, ah, unexpected level of emotion. But no, Erithon-” She paused to frown and clear her throat. “The lieutenant and I don’t have… we aren’t what you’re presuming.”

Qyzen squinted in what she had learned to recognize as wry skepticism, usually reserved for someone they were facing in conflict.

Aitahea swallowed, nodded. “We have work to do.”

Sia waved over a shoulder. “Hey, call from Tython on the holo.”

Grateful for the diversion, Aitahea swiftly moved to escape the bridge. “Thank you, Sia. I’ll take it in the common room, please.”

After a few moments, Master Syo flickered into view, looking pleased when Aitahea entered the shared space.

“Master Sidonie just checked in. She seems well but very frustrated with herself.” Aitahea briefly wondered if her own demeanor was similar, though for distinctly different reasons. “She reports that you were able to prevent war from breaking out on Alderaan, however. You’ve once again done exceptional work in a tense situation, Aitahea.”

Despite the obvious praise, Aitahea winced. She had been painfully unsettled by Master Sidonie’s baseless accusations, despite their depraved falsity. They’d sounded conspicuously familiar, another voice confirming all the cynical criticisms Aitahea most dreaded. Unspeakable consequences lurked behind every failure, and Aitahea was certain she would fracture under the burden of responsibility, despite everyone’s blithe confidence. All so certain of her, save Aitahea herself.

And she would never breathe a syllable of it to the people depending on her. She couldn’t. Instead, she slid into a default stillness and bowed her head. “I relied on the teachings of the Jedi,” she insisted, voice trembling through the half-truth.

Master Syo beamed. “A mark of a true Jedi – being able to trust in the Force in all circumstances.”

Aitahea shuddered and hoped the motion wouldn’t be seen in the grainy holo.

Oblivious to her struggle, Master Syo continued. “Tell me, did you learn anything about the plaguemaster, Lord Vivicar?”

“I’m sorry. No new intel came from Master Sidonie.”

“She was the last of the lost Masters, and yet Vivicar still eludes us,” he mused, then waved a hand and refocused on Aitahea. “Return to us here on Tython immediately, and we will discuss what you have learned. Lord Vivicar cannot remain hidden forever.”

Aitahea’s heart leapt. She’d longed for the comfort of Tython for months; now, the call seemed almost too good to be true. Unable to trust her voice, she bowed, lifting her eyes again in time to see Master Syo’s benevolent smile. “Come home, Jedi.”

When her boots touched Tython’s sacred ground – even the metallic plates of the Temple’s shuttle pad – Aitahea felt suffused with new hope. The home of the Jedi never failed to welcome her, making her role in the galaxy apparent and her relationship to the Force simple and effortless. Even breathing felt easier.

Master Syo Bakarn, Master Jaric Kaedan, and Grand Master Satele Shan were waiting when Aitahea arrived at the Council chamber with Qyzen. The rest of the crew had opted to stay in orbit while the Jedi and Trandoshan shuttled to the surface.

“Welcome home,” said Master Syo, leaning forward to offer the greeting. Aitahea bowed low to her mentor, wondering silently if Yuon would be join the meeting as well.

Master Jaric was quicker to the point. “I wish we could greet you with better news.”

Master Satele nodded her own welcome. “Despite using every resource available to us, we’re no closer to finding Lord Vivicar.”

Aitahea, buoyant on the glory of Tython, took a bold step forward and offered her final, horrible theory. “Actually, I believe we are. A common thread binds all the plague victims: the loss of Parkanas Tark at Malachor Three. Vivicar’s influence forced the infected Masters to relive their failures on Malachor.”

The Council’s Force signatures and facial expressions were meticulously shielded with more years of experience than Aitahea could rightly grasp, but even so, emotion in the room spiked, rattling her earnest calm. She continued, her voice hushed. “This is revenge, personal revenge. Only one man would have that much anger and pain. The man who was left behind.”

She hesitated; her next words could unravel everything else she’d accomplished, but unless she spoke the truth, the plague would never end. “I believe Lord Vivicar is Parkanas Tark.”

Master Jaric shook his head in disbelief. “Jedi.” He pinned Aitahea with a steely gaze, and she was certain that her suggestion had indeed gone too far. “Parkanas Tark is dead.” Aitahea took a breath -

“Far from it, Jaric.” Yuon strode into the council chamber, feisty as ever. On the edge of panic, Aitahea broke into an enormous smile that her Master returned with a gracious nod. Even Qyzen, silent until now, uttered a brief growl of approval and welcome.

“Yuon?” Satele demanded, half-rising to address the other Master, exasperation coloring her words. “I told those Padawans to keep an eye on you. You must rest!”

“No. My pupil -” Yuon paused at Aitahea’s side, placing a hand on her last Padawan’s shoulder, “My fellow Jedi deserves to hear the truth about Malachor.”

Aitahea winced, noting the dark shadows under Yuon’s eyes; only one of the victims could explain the twisted path that lay both behind and before them. They all needed the truth. “Don’t speak more than you must.”

Yuon gave Aitahea a wan smile, then continued, turning to address the Council. “Malachor Three isn’t just strong in the dark side; the planet is the resting place of Terrak Morrhage. Our work on Malachor woke Morrhage’s spirit. One by one, we fell under his power. The things we did… still haunt me.”

Yuon shuddered; Aitahea reached for her in concern. Realization clicked into place, and she paused before laying a comforting hand on Yuon’s shoulder. “Somehow, you broke free of Morrhage’s power.”

The Master composed herself and nodded to her Padawan. “Yes. Together, we managed to break his control, but at a terrible cost.” Yuon’s voice grew soft, then broke over the last few syllables. She kept her gaze to the side, as if afraid to look into Aitahea’s eyes. “Parkanas was the youngest and weakest. We had to abandon him to Malachor’s darkness. His sacrifice allowed the rest of us to escape. But it seems he survived and took Morrhage’s dark path.”

“You couldn’t have predicted this,” Aitahea insisted in a pained whisper.

With fierce determination, Yuon shook her head. “I must make amends.” She seemed more vulnerable than ever, perhaps even more so than in the worst throes of her affliction. “I have a plan to help you find Vivicar.”

The Council looked worriedly at each other, and even Aitahea shook her head, uncertain how to respond. “How?”

“If the plague created a link between my mind and his, your shielding ability may allow me to use that link to find him.”

Master Syo stood, his disapproval and worry dimming the Force in the room. “No. You’re already weak from the plague, Yuon. This could kill you.”

But Yuon’s eyes, finally meeting Aitahea’s, were pleading. Aitahea wondered, had her Master’s suffering truly begun with the plague, or had it been long before that? She wasn’t certain she was ready for dealing with either answer, but her path, her role, was to serve. Releasing her Master, her teacher, her friend from this plague surely was of equal importance with stopping Morrhage.

If the work served both purposes, it would be worth it, more than worth it. “Vivicar won’t get the chance,” she said to both Yuon and the stunned Council. “I will stand between him and my Master.”

Yuon’s gratitude was palpable. She turned to the Council, earnest and energized. “It’s our best chance to find Vivicar.”

Qyzen spoke up. “Yuon is fearless and wise – a true hunter, like Herald.”

Aitahea wasn’t certain she agreed, but the Trandoshan’s support could only bolster their position.

Syo eased back into his seat. “Very well,” he said, sighing. “But we will monitor the ritual, and your former Padawan must stay at your side.”

“Of course, Master,” Aitahea said, and offered Yuon an encouraging smile.

“Thank you, Syo,” Yuon said, punctuating with a bow to the entire Council before turning back to Aitahea. “I will go to the meditation chamber to prepare. Please meet me there when you are ready.”

“I’ll be fine, Qyzen; it’s just a short way from the Temple. There’s no safer place in the galaxy.”

“Even from own thoughts, Herald?”

“Let her go, just as you always did for me,” said Yuon, smiling impishly at Aitahea as she approached. “This Jedi knows her own mind.”

“Master, I know you have much to prepare. I don’t intend to go far to meditate, just a little away from the temple, so I might not be disturbed.” Aitahea couldn’t quite raise her eyes to meet Yuon’s, glancing instead toward the tree-lined paths of the outer grounds. Since Aitahea had first arrived on Tython, the issues of refugees, Flesh Raiders, and rogue Force users had been mostly resolved. The forests surrounding the temple were secure, if not precisely safe. Aitahea had played no small part in several of those events and recalled them as experiences of tremendous growth as a Padawan. Yuon seemed to agree.

“Off with you now! I’ve enough for this old friend to help me with; you must make your own preparations,” she stated, ushering Qyzen ahead in a way only Yuon Par was capable of, while waving Aitahea away from the temple grounds. “Go!”

Yuon seemed uncharacteristically upbeat, perhaps even giddy. It’s just that we’re so close to the end of this journey. I’d feel the same, if I weren’t so… her thoughts trailed off as Qyzen and Yuon turned back toward the temple, good-naturedly chiding each other on the perception of stuffy behavior.

Aitahea chanced a smile and wave in reply, inhaling sharply to keep tears from spilling from her stinging eyes. She turned to one of the well-worn paths, tread smooth by the growing residents of the Jedi Temple, their minders and masters, and visitors such as herself.

No, this is home, she thought urgently. Master Syo welcomed me home. I am home. She raised her hood and quickened her pace, rushing by several curious initiates.

Aitahea dashed across the bridge and toward the stream just beyond the grounds. There was a spur of rock suspended over one of the smaller falls. She hadn’t been there in years, her training with Yuon so often off-world or in remote areas. There were usually a few uxibeast grazing in the shade, unbothered so long as they could eat in peace.

She was obligated to ford the shallows to the opposite bank of the stream in order to reach the outcropping. Aitahea considered a simple leap over the stream; a nudge of the Force would keep her robes and boots dry.

Instead, she left her boots with her outer robe folded carefully beside them and now stood at the water’s edge considering the communicator in her hand. She shouldn’t be needed for the brief hour she had to prepare for Yuon’s desperate ritual; who in the galaxy would need to contact her who wasn’t planetside? Was there anyone she needed to talk to privately? Tember? Her parents?

Aitahea fiercely dismissed the memory of Erithon’s smiling face that clamored for her attention, fingers trembling as she thumbed through her contacts to his entry. The hard lump lodged in her throat was the only thing that kept her from pressing the call button.

Cold water splashed over her toes; the nearest uxibeast lowed. Shaking her head, Aitahea unceremoniously shoved the commlink into one of her boots and waded into the water, gasping at the freezing temperature.  She splashed across, only slightly questioning her sanity, and padded gingerly up the rock spur on icy toes.

The perch afforded a stunning view of the Temple and grounds, but distance allowed a certain privacy. Aitahea sat at the edge of the outcropping, watching the practiced motions of lightsaber training, but the clashing sounds of those sparring were lost beneath the roar of water. Some in groups, others in isolation, all went about their various practices: meditating, channeling, seeking to understand more of the Force in myriad ways.

Everything will be fine, Aitahea assured herself, bringing her knees up to her chest and closing her eyes. We’re so close to finishing this. Maybe even saving Parkanas Tark if he can just be released from Morrhage’s dark control. Victory is close. Just a little longer.

Aitahea dropped her head into her arms and sobbed, the cries lost in the rush of the waterfall below.

Constellation: Part One | Part Two | Interlude | Part Three

[deiliamedlini]

WIP-ish Wednesday

Is it already Wednesday?? I’ve been very distracted by discovering Inuyasha for the first time, and by Monster Hunter Stories 2, and by Loki, and I have barely written a word this week, so I’m going to post an old WIP oneshot that I don’t want to work on ever again, and I’ll feel less guilty because it won’t be staring at me in my doc, but it’ll be here.

Once upon a time, I couldn’t stop watching Among Us on Twitch and started an LOZ AU and drew all the LoZ characters as Among Us people. Most of my ‘planning’ went into drawing everyone instead 😂. I even did Avatar because I was going insane. Like, I could not stop. It was a very in-depth moment. But I’m past that moment now and will likely never work on this WIP again, so here’s the little bit I actually had for that Among Us LoZ AU.

~~

Space is cold, Zelda realized.

When she signed on for this mission, they’d briefed her, of course, but she’d never really understood what it meant to be this cold until she was sitting in the transport ship with nine other crewmates who were being sent to a ship that was already in orbit.

The Skeld.

Zelda had never realized something could sound so daunting and so incredible all at once, but The Skeld managed that. Not only in name, but she’d read the pamphlets. She’d done her research. The Skeld was an interspace vessel equipped with hyperdrive capabilities, deep space hibernation for longer trips, and even a fully functioning weapons system for any unforeseen complications. And she was chosen to be a crewmate on the most incredible ship in the galaxy. She’d gladly left Hyrule for this.

When she’d arrived at the launch pad, they’d given her a very bright pink spacesuit. She’d nearly argued for blue, but that was already taken by someone named Mipha. When she’d actually asked for cyan, she’d been told that Mipha’s brother, Sidon, had taken it. So, she relented for pink.

On the transport ship, she watched them talk to each other. The siblings were animated with their hands, and then Zelda realized it had to do with the space helmets they were all wearing. She couldn’t see anyone else’s expression, and realized that her hands were going to be more important than anything, this trip.

The Skeld’s O2 dispersion system was broken, and they’d already been briefed that their first task was to restore it. Until it was safe, their helmets stayed on.

Zelda looked at her ID badge and was thankful that there was a nice picture of her gracing the surface.

She unstrapped the seatbelt she had been too nervous to release, and looked around. She couldn’t see nametags yet, so she went by color. Green was talking to red and brown. Yellow

and orange were together, hailing over white. Purple and black seemed to be getting along. She just had to figure out where she fit in.

Zelda tried to listen to the orange and yellow suit as they explained something to the white one. They were both from Gerudo Town, though they’d never met before, and the white one said that the company who owned The Skeld—MIRA—had deliberately chosen several people from similar areas to make their decisions easier.

So, Zelda realized, someone else would be from Central Hyrule with her.

“You seem lost,” someone said, a male voice, though she couldn’t tell who spoke right away. The green suit stopped just short of her and held out his gloved hand. “Link. Nice to meet you.”

Zelda took his hand. “Zelda,” she said as she quickly examined his ID tag. He was cute, with a mop of blonde hair tied back and bright blue eyes. “Are you in engineering?”

“From what I’ve gathered, we’re all in either engineering or mechanics. The Skeld needs some touch-ups.”

Zelda chuckled lightly. “Oxygen isn’t necessary when you have these fantastic suits.”

He laughed and tugged on his green. “I wanted blue, but those two siblings over there took them.”

Zelda’s eyes lit up, though he couldn’t see. “I wanted blue as well!

“Favorite color?”

“Yes. You?”

“Same.”

Zelda wanted to blush at his tone. Something about the way he spoke, the medium timbre and almost sultry cadence to his voice had her picturing the face behind the helmet with that as well. And all around, it was a nice picture she painted in her head.

“Where are you from?” she found herself asking.

“Hateno. It’s in East Necluda in Hyrule.”

“Oh, really?” Zelda asked with interest. “I’ve been before! I live in Castle Town.”

“City girl, then?”

“Very much. I take it you’re a tried and true country boy?”

“I am.”

She could hear the smile in his voice and was very glad he couldn’t see her.

“So,” he said. “I thought maybe you were shy and didn’t make friends easily which was why you were over here by yourself, but you’re doing just fine with me.”

Whenever Zelda got nervous, she often found herself playing with her hair. That, unfortunately, wasn’t possible with the large helmets they wore, so her hand often would simply thunk against the visor and then awkwardly fall back to her side.

“I’m a bookworm back home. I like to study and research. I don’t really talk to many people. You’re simply easy to talk to.”

Link nodded, just enough that she could see the bobbing of the helmet and suit. “Thank you. We’re all going to be stuck together for a while though, so you might want to try.”

“I just don’t know how.”

Link gave a light tug on her arm and urged her to follow him back to the red and brown suits. They were still happily chatting with each other, but black, white, and purple had joined.

“Daruk, Yunobo,” Link said, bringing Zelda beside him. “This is Zelda. Zelda, this is Yunobo,” he pointed to red, “and Daruk,” to brown. “They’re from Eldin.”

Zelda tried to cross her arms, but realized that their travel suit was just too fat for it. She was grateful they’d be given a change into a lightweight suit once they reached The Skeld so they could better preform the tasks they’d be given.

“Eldin?” Zelda asked, intrigued. “That’s so far away. Is it really as warm as they say?”

Daruk laughed, hearty and loud. It had the other group turning to see what was happening. “Hotter!” he nearly screamed in excitement.

“It’s pretty warm, yeah,” Yunobo agreed.

But the one in the black suit scoffed.

“You don’t think it’s that hot?” Zelda asked again.

Then, the one in black simply sat back down, crossing his legs as he happily had enough of that conversation.

“You all are too unattuned to your bodies. It’s actually quite easy to bear the extremes, if you simply try just a bit.”

Zelda turned to purple. He had the haughtiest voice she’d ever heard. And when she looked at his ID, she realized that his face matched the voice perfectly.

“Stop it, Revali,” the white one said. “He’s a bit of a legend back home, and it’s gone to his head. I’m Teba. The one who just sat down is Gan. He hasn’t been social, really.”

“Pleasure to meet you,” everyone said, happily introducing themselves.

The final two came over: orange and yellow. Orange was a well-respected leader of her community, Urbosa. And the other, yellow, was her protegee, Riju.

/

By the time the warning lights had come on to tell everyone to return to their seats and to secure themselves in for docking, Zelda felt like she had a decent grasp of who was who. Well, except for Gan, who adamantly refused to participate in any conversation.

Docking with The Skeld was bumpy, and Zelda felt her hands tightly grip her belt. She could see Link across from her giving her the thumb’s up. She couldn’t tell if he was reassuring her, or asking if she was okay, but either way, she returned his gesture and took a deep breath.

A robotic voice rang out through an intercom. “Pressurizing. Please remain in your seats.”

Puffs of smoke filled the small room, fogging everything up until it turned to normal air once again. And the door flung open.

Zelda jumped at the noise, but a small robot rolled in, a long neck, and functioning arms attached to a wheeled mobility unit. Then, the door shut again, and more air hissed into the room.

“Please unzip your suits below the neck. You will be provided with more efficient ones beyond this door. Please, remain in your seats.”

Zelda watched Urbosa, first in the line of seats, pull the zipper down just enough to expose the skin on her neck. The robot extended an arm and pressed a device into her before hitting a button with a loud snap.

Urbosa hissed and recoiled. “What was that?”

“That was your tracker. It will monitor your health and can be read by the internal navigation system. Please, head through the door and follow your guide to retrieve your new suits. Your color will remain the same.”

Three until the little robot reached Zelda.

She listened to Yunobo whimper and sniff as he left. Teba took it gracefully and silently, as if it didn’t hurt at all. Revali yelled at the robot, who simply repeated its instructions.

So when it was Zelda’s turn, her hand shook as she pulled down the zipper and watched the small device move closer to her. She couldn’t help but flinch away immediately, despite her constant mental reminders to stay still.

“Please, do not move or I will be required to restrain you long enough to insert your tracker.”

“Sorry,” Zelda muttered. And when she felt it against her skin and heard the loud click, it was more painful than she thought. A sharp sting and a slight burn and then it was over. Still, she wanted to get away from the creepy little pain-inducing robot, and she rubbed her neck as she left.

Only to be greeted by another robot.

“Please, follow me,” it said, rolling down the hall of the docking bay.

~~~~~~

(Yunobo was going to die first, Mipha was going to be vented but she was not an imposter and it would have hopefully been sad, and my note says it was Teba and Link, so naturally it was going to come down to Link and Zelda as the last two for dramatic reasons and then end on a “black screen” kind of moment just like the end of a round when you lose. Ta-da! That was the Among Us AU that will never be)

[charnamefic]

Kevin Can F*** Himself and The Sitcom

I am fascinated by this canon's universe, by the implications of living in a sitcom reality where there’s a non-sitcom reality when the sitcom isn’t running.

I’m taking as a given that Kevin Can F*ck Himself takes place in what truly is a sitcom-universe. I know some people consider the sitcom-style parts of the show to be Allison’s way of thinking about her life while she really lives in a more mundane universe, but frankly that’s not a theory that interests me. I have no beef with those who believe it, but I find Kevin Can F*ck Himself to be a much richer viewing experience personally if read as the off-screen adventures of an actual sitcom wife, and that’s the only reading I’m going to get invested in and theorize about.

At the beginning of the first episode I thought Allison was, on some level, aware that she was a TV character – I thought that her fantasies about living the 50's housewife advertising dream were the expression of a desire for a genre shift (that could never come) – but by the end of the episode I’d concluded that she doesn't know. I don’t think any of the characters know that they’re sitcom characters, and, as an extension of that, I don’t think any of them are aware that there are differences between the on-screen and off-screen existences they live. So what does it mean to be that one-dimensional, sitcom type of character and live under that universe’s rules for parts of your life, and transition into a rounded-out person with an active inner life at other times? What does it mean when you can’t comprehend that transition, and when the more rounded version of yourself has to tackle with who you are and what happens to you in that sitcom reality? What power of self do you have, both to be a person in your own right and to act as one free of the constraints of what the rules of a sitcom universe would demand?

What are the rules of the Kevin Can F*ck Himself universe as a sitcom?

Here's what we have to work with:

The universe is a status quo is god universe. Kevin and Allison can never move away, never not be Neil’s neighbours. We as viewers of Kevin Can F*ck Himself see what that means for the characters, how painful that stagnation is to Allison and the horrible things that have led to that consequence, but Kevin Can F*ck Himself takes place off-screen of the sitcom – on-screen, that’s just typical status-quo maintenance. Kevin and Allison can’t keep a pet, can’t add new characters to the cast or kick off old ones; at the end of the episode, nothing will have happened that will keep the sitcom from being something you can tune-in to irregularly without missing a plot-important episode.

The sitcom caters to the man-child id. Kevin can be rude and outright cruel to his wife, and he’ll never have to worry about her responding in equal kind. Kevin can accuse and humiliate and banish his best female friend, and she’ll come crawling back for re-entry into the gang, feeding him and making up for her failure to prioritize him. Kevin can fight with his best male friend, and the girls will sort it out without Kevin or Neil’s egos having to take a serious blow; it’s just a special episode where Kevin learns to express appreciation for his sidekick (at least until next episode). Kevin may be an everyman, but he will never be outshone.

The sitcom universe is simple and insular. “It seemed harmless.” It is harmless. All pain can be brushed off, all suffering passes quickly. Kevin can promise a bunch of people money he doesn’t have and trap them in his basement and not need to fear any lawsuits. Kevin can set his neighbour’s lawn on fire, and that’s fine, it really is. He can get a mailwoman deported, and once the episode’s over it’s no-one’s problem and it doesn’t indicate anything about what kind of person someone who would do that is or what values they hold. Kevin can get his wife fired, and she can’t nurse a grudge over that, can’t mention it again or have it shape their future interactions; it’s one and done. Dreams can be dashed, and by the next scene break it’s back to basics not simply because the status quo is god but because when your hopes die you get up and move on and keep acting like the paint-by-numbers character tropes you embody. The people are no more complicated than the actions. The caretaking wife can’t be truly hurt by the daily derogation she suffers from everyone who interacts with her. The next-door neighbour can’t have a fulfilling life outside of Kevin’s orbit, he can’t even complete fairly simple tasks without a leader to follow. Kevin’s dad can’t be anyone outside of being Kevin’s dad. The girl in the group cannot show an inner life or opinions or desires that conflict with her designated role. What you see is what you get, and there’s nothing you have to consider under the surface.

Kevin Can F*ck Himself has shown us that these rules only hold true on-screen in the sitcom; once the sitcom cameras aren’t on the characters anymore, the entire world shifts into something different. If we consider the on-sitcom-screen and off-sitcom-screen worlds to be like two intersecting realities, I think we have to assume that the sitcom reality is the dominant one. Events happen in the Kevin Can F*ck Himself reality that are necessarily related to the sitcom reality (Allison reacting to how she’s treated when off-screen; Allison and Patty discussing events that have happened on-screen while off-screen) whereas the events in the sitcom reality occur regardless of the Kevin Can F*ck Himself reality (Allison’s damaged clothes and injuries that occur off-screen aren’t noticeable on-screen; when Kevin confronts Allison and Patty, that confrontation makes sense in the sitcom universe even without the context given in the Kevin Can F*ck Himself reality). If the sitcom reality is the dominant reality, that necessitates that the Kevin Can F*ck Himself reality is still influenced by the rules of the sitcom reality even when the cameras are off – if the influence can only have significant consequences in one direction, then the universe that can’t significantly influence the other can’t have anything happen in it that would have to have a notable impact on the other.

To put this to a concrete example, the marriage Allison has on-screen can affect her contentment with her life off-screen and make her want to have an affair off-screen, but – given the premise expressed above – her off-screen affair can’t unduly affect her on-screen marriage. It can’t influence her think she might be able to find a safe way to get a divorce because that would affect the status quo of the sitcom. It can’t be reflected in her on-screen interactions with Kevin because that would complicate their marriage in a manner the sitcom universe can’t bear.  

I don’t think Allison’s affair with Sam can come out on-screen in the sitcom. The sitcom everyman’s wife cheating on him isn’t what the target demographic wants. The dream of the hot wife who’ll let you get away with anything, who puts out and cleans up and cooks and boosts and takes her lumps with a smile and stands by you no matter how many times things don’t go as desired – yes! The culturally ingrained fear that your woman is cuckolding you, that you’re inadequate instead of all that she wants and needs, that you’re a fool and didn’t actually land that dream catch – no, absolutely not! It breaks the rule of catering to the man-child id, it breaks the rules of simplicity, and it breaks the rule of status quo. I think Allison will face problems with the affair – we know she will in some way from the ep 6 preview – but I suspect the issues surrounding it will be more along the lines of getting to know Jenn and discovering that she’s actually awkward but sincere and the “who really gets the hot guy” competition is way less fun when you empathize with the opposition, or having to face that the reasons she and Sam didn’t end up together back when they were teens still apply and that doing this with him now won’t make her happy. Whatever happens, I don’t think Allison’s marriage will be affected in a way that will show up in the sitcom at all. So there’s a front on which Allison’s behaviour is safe – the affair can never come out in a way Kevin and the sitcom viewers will believe in it, so she will never have to face consequences along the lines of suffering a broken-marriage for which everyone considers her at fault because she committed adultery – and a way in which it’s not – Allison basically said that she knew it was a shitty thing to do but she had fun enabling Sam in cheating on his girlfriend back in high school because she didn’t know the other girl and didn’t really think about her, but now that the relationships those involved are in are even more serious and the other woman is an actual acquaintance there’s no way that this won’t at least lead to drama guaranteed to have a significant influence and consequences in her off-sitcom-screen life. My point with this is that (if my theory is correct) Kevin Can F*ck Himself will show consequences, but Kevin’s sitcom can’t, and that inherently affects the dangers Allison faces for her behaviour and what can come of it in both worlds.  

Leading off from that, we have the whole dealing drugs and assaulting a trucker thing. Necessarily, none of what we’re seeing in Kevin Can F*ck Himself about that can be reflected in the sitcom. We can have the dramatic irony of Kevin confronting Allison the night she started having an affair, we can watch Kevin confront her and Patty over the horrible acts they committed off-screen, but due to the nature of the universe, that cannot be anything but dramatic irony which sitcom viewers wouldn’t be able to pick up on. Simply put, Patty can’t be sent off to jail for dealing because she’s a regular. Allison will never be convicted for what they did to that trucker – even though you’d expect her to be in serious trouble given that surely there would have been security cameras all over any gas station – because that cannot flow back to the sitcom reality in any recognizable way.

Can the sitcom wife spend more than one episode under on-screen police scrutiny? There could probably be a plotline where she spends a night in jail, but according to sitcom logic that has to be sorted out before the episode is over. There has to be some sort of misunderstanding revealed, some piece of evidence come to light that exonerates her. She has to get back to her husband and the dirty laundry and the meals she needs to make. This is why I think it’s not possible that Allison and Patty mugging that guy for his oxy can come back to bite them in a way that would be reflected on-screen in the sitcom. The sitcom wife doesn’t beat people up for their drugs, not like that at least. The rules of a sitcom will not allow it.

The rules of a sitcom also don’t allow the star to die. I fully believe that Patty was right; if Allison had filled that burger with drugs, Kevin would have been back up and running by the next scene. So, given that truly bad things can’t happen to Kevin, and given that things can’t significantly change, what can Allison’s plans be building toward? Literally, is it possible for Kevin to end his life in jail for drug-related crimes? If the premise I’ve laid out above is correct, then no. Is it possible for Kevin to die in allegedly drug-related gang violence? No. It’s more likely that Marcus talks a big game, but is actually a small enough fish he could be taken out of the equation by Patty telling his aunt he was bothering her. I don’t think anything Allison and Patty can do in the Kevin Can F*ck Himself universe to get Kevin done for drug-related crimes can lead to anything more than a Very Special Episode about drugs on the sitcom.

So what does that mean for the show? I have no idea, and I’m really interested in finding out.

Can the rules of the universe be changed? Allison broke a glass on-screen, in a way which probably wouldn’t have been written into a sitcom, so maybe. But that didn’t really break any of the proposed rules of the universe, so maybe not.

And what happens if Allison succeeds? Characters in a sitcom have backstories, but can they have futures after the show is cancelled?

I’ve heard from a lot of people that they don’t enjoy the sitcom scenes, but (for the most part) I think those are depicted to establish and convey something important. I might be completely off-base with my analysis of how realities are portrayed in the show and what we can glean from that, but even without that I think we’ve been offered a compelling deconstruction of on-screen sitcom hijinks.  

Also, I just really love how they’ve worked within the boundaries of the intersection of sitcom and non-sitcom presentation. How can the “just getting by” family afford all the fun things that make the sitcom life aspirational without making the characters too well-off for the everyman to see himself and his own struggles in them? Simple – drain those off-screen savings. It’s perfect. It’s so beautifully indicative of Kevin Can F*ck Himself’s premise.

Any way you look at it and whatever theories you prefer, the world presented in Kevin Can F*ck Himself offers up a lot of interesting possibilities and I can’t wait to see them explored.

[swiggity-swexual-i-am-asexual]

Oh, the chromosome rant was EXACTLY the kind of response I was hoping for. Also, to make everything even more complicated, that is just HUMAN genetics. Other species do the chromosome game differently and some not at all. Some determine via temperature. There is a species of fish where a female will become male if there isn't one around. Bees have three different genders. Writers should go WILD with this!

I’m glad I could deliver then, haha!

And you’re right, writers should!

Human genetics are already freaky enough. The second you add more species to it? Complications and genetics go battle royal, and it’s great. You can literally make anything up because nature has probably already done it!

Two twins born in eggs, one sent to a warmer climate and one to a colder one, and if the species has sexual dimorphism, they’ll look totally different! And if it’s cloning, and the scientist doesn’t KNOW that difference, they’re gonna have a real hard time finding out. But the writer knows. They can take advantage of it, because they KNOW.

A clone gets sent into the main crew’s orbit, but suddenly starts to go through Rushed Puberty Part Two because they accidentally stumbled into a harem. The confusion, the drama, and there’s a reason beyond Just Because.

There’s a gender of bees where their basic function is just to copulate and DIE and I know there are enough monster fuckers on this site with save the bees t shirts that SOMEONE has to have done some Weird Stuff with that.

It’s more fun to break the rules when you know what they are. To know where there could be other explanations, to look at them, and then say ‘yeah I’ve thought of that, that’s not it though’. Honestly, that’s my advice for mystery writers—you need to know what it could be, what other people might think it could be, so you can definitively prove that they gotta try again cause that’s the wrong answer. Always have the correct answer, but know what the other options might have been, you know?

It also just goes to show that the ‘gender binary’ is nonsense of a high degree. I’ve never had a full genetic test, it’s not like I could say that I definitely have the appropriate amounts of each chromosome, and even if I do or don’t, I’m still not cis. That goes for your characters too. Unlike my usual thoughts of But Why when I develop stories and world building, you literally don’t need a reason to make a character LGBTQ, you just can. I just like using science bases to cause problems to be solved later.

Genetics are weird and writers should take full advantage of it. Cause, yeah, in real life, maybe your secret half sibling’s chances of having the EXACT same eye color as you are not THAT high, especially as more secret relatives end up with the EXACT same feature, but in fiction it’s a useful shorthand. And maybe in real life, your clone would only be the same age as you if their cells were tested, because they can’t develop that fast. In fiction, they’ll be the ‘opposite’ gender because that’s an easy way to say They’re The Same But Different.

But if you, the writer, know that those genetic disorders that make the clone the ‘opposite gender’ can cause serious issues, you can write that in. You can give them their own histories and problems, make them more than a clone in a way that doesn’t seem so corny. Heck, you cannot tell me that a clone that was somehow made to grow up years biologically in literal months or weeks will not have hormonal issues. They’re gonna have hormonal issues. There’s a reason that clone is a rage monster, why that one is falling apart at the seams figuratively, why the other one is falling apart LITERALLY. Maybe knowing that the species you just made up for your story has a different way of determining sex won’t ever actually be explained. But when stuck on a problem, or on how to proceed, or just need to add a little spice to your work, having that trove of backstory and reason means you can look at something, ask ‘what would this cause as an issue?’, or look at something that clearly should pop up and decide ‘when would a good time for this to finally pay off be?’, and then it practically writes itself.

Doing research on a lot of weird things isn’t just a strange habit writers end up with for no reason. Having backgrounds for characters isn’t just for funsies. Yes it’s character development. But it’s also because the easiest way to go forward on a story is knowing where it’s already been. Like, say your story is based on a car trip. You don’t need to be a mechanic, or know the make and model of the car and tires. But knowing that tires can blow out is important. It’s especially important if you know that a tire IS going to go flat. It’s more fulfilling/less Just Because Plot Says So if you’ve already decided that the salesman gave them terrible tires, that one character is the exact kind of person to buy them cause they’re either cheap or trusting or don’t know, and can lead you to justifying when the other three tires ALSO blow out when you’ve hit a snag somewhere in how to continue the excitement.

Clone stories oftentimes feel kind of weird to me. Maybe it’s cause I feel it’s overdone, particularly in older media and in superhero stories. We learn new things about ourselves, our world, and even our own genes all the time. I remember when we first FOUND the lymphatic duct system. Writers can do as they want, write what they want, but utilizing the world of science, even in a world of magic, can make things just sink into someone a little bit more snuggly. You don’t have to explain everything or always have a reason. But it’s really a lot of fun when there IS. Even if you never, ever explain it.

TLDR; genetics is a clone story writer’s playground and those wiki rabbit holes you sink into by accident are not as useless as people like to say.