#as if it's a semantics error and not just being wrong

[vermillioncrown]

a wild minion² appeared! he ain't my problem again until next week

[jaechan01]

🥹🏆

[littleragondin]

15 Day BL Challenge

The full challenge can be found here!

☆*:.｡. Day 6: Fave line from your fave series .｡.:*☆

Oooh okay, okay, getting a little more challenging! I went for lines that I still think about regularly - both for the words used and the way they were delivered. And I will shamelessly cheat and pick one per country.

Thailand with To Sir, With Love. This show has a lot of really good lines and monologues imo, but my pick is in ep.11. Jiu and Tian has confessed to each other and Tian explains some truths about his family to Jiu, who asks if being homosexual really is a problem.

“Yes, my father would definitely not accept it. In the past, there was a member of the association that was like me. Then he was oppressed until he had to commit suicide . So my mother had to keep the secret that I like men. If everyone knows, the Song family will be ruined because of me. I don’t want to be the head of the association. I never wanted to. I just want to be me.”

Japan with Utsukushii Kare. It's ep.6 and Kiyoi's broken "I am not a god, okay?" It was such a perfect culmination of everything going wrong with their relationship, a necessary break down of his facade and a much needed wake up call for Hira. I love it.

Taiwan with We Best Love. First of all, I was obsessed with the way Yu speaks. There is something in the cadence of his speech that completely fascinates me (the way he says "Yīnwèi wǒ xǐhuān nǐ" ?? like drug to me). But I especially love this little exchange, post first kiss.

“- Was that your first kiss?” [Gao Shide shakes his head no] - Who was it? - That day in the swimming pool. - ... That doesn’t count.”

His face before he says that always gets me.

and Korea with Semantic Error. This one doesn't have an episode number because it is every. single. time. Sangwoo calls Jaeyoung "hyung". I love the impact the first one has, especially, but frankly? The way Jaeyoung reacts to it every time is just delightful.

[absolutebl]

Recs for Uni or HS BLs where studying impacts plot

My ask box is bonkers, sometimes I get a message in email saying someone asked a question and then when I check on the hellsite itself, it's gone... (What does this MEAN?)

Anygay...

@sagi-kari asked a question:

Do you have any recs for Uni or HS BLs where the main focus is studying or study related (they have to actually do the thing). Like LITA with Rain's studies being a caveat to their relationship or Big Dragon with Mangkorn's New York internship/job idr.

Basically, the study needs to be an important thing to the narrative.

This is a doozie and I'm only gonna rec stuff I rated over 8/10

University & HS BL Revolving Around Study

Semantic Error - class conflict is the inciting event, and this is one of my favorite BLs of all time. So yeah, it tops the list. I am assuming you have watched it because EVERYONE must watch this little pice of perfect. Full review here.

Blueming - the school project is the source of the conflict, this is a complicated chewy very thoughtful BL, longer than normal for Korea. If you enjoy things like The 8th Sense you might like this. Full review here.

Love Class - the whole show is about a manufactured relationship as part of a social science class experiment. Full review here.

You Make Me Dance - I mean it's a dance major so no actual book study but yeah, it's there he has to win a dance scholarship as a main part of the plot. I've never done a full review of this, and frankly that's an oversite. Time for a rewatch?

HIStory 2: Right or Wrong - it's about a teacher student relationship so...

Addicted: Heroin - especially the first half, I know what you're thinking, but also, THINK about it. It's all within a class from environment for most of the first 6 eps. I believe it counts. This is, without question, the best BL China has ever produced. FIGHT ME.

Destiny Seeker - an under appreciated pulp that is basically predicated on the university sorting hat. I have great affection for this hot mess, including all the sides. Mostly takes place within and around the complexities of dorm life. Full review here.

Kiss Me Again series (BL cut) + Dark Blue Kiss (AKA the PeteKao series staring TayNew) - it's not necessarily a driver but engineering and study is actual integral in a setting as character kind of way. And there is a lot of "make-out while studying." Plus we in the TayNew renauances and I have great affection for their original series. Everyoen shoudl watch it. Here's the watch guide.

HS BL - not exactly study, but sorta & they really good

Light On Me - Another one of my absolute favorite BLs, but it's about the school government club, not actual study. Full review here.

Love Sick - if you count club activities. I just got a full load up of this series with new subs, so I was going to do a watch along in honor of 2024 (its 10th anniversary). I am still considering it.

My School President - also, if you count extra-curricular & club activities. Another BL that i absolutely adore. No full review but I did have a long discussion on how this plays into Thailand's new norm in BL here.

Takara & Amagi - ugh I love this show so much but it's more about popularity and social acceptance in HS than studing, full review here.

About Youth - if you count external parental pressure to over achieve, another underappreciated gem, this time for Taiwan. Full review here.

I dithered...

Bad Buddy - maybe, I mean departmental conflict is a large part of the story, plus high school back story club activities, but there is very little study. Full review here.

Please feel free to add more on a RP or in comments, but remember my codicil was I have to have personally rated it over 8/10 so your baby might not be on here because it wasn't to my personal taste.

(source)

[hometothecanyonmoon]

rating and reviewing BLs i have watched so far (unupdated as of april ‘23)

hi this is just a post that i wanted to include in my page but it was getting too long lmao. this is just like a list of all that i’ve watched so far, in order. i won’t be including their plots here, but there might be spoilers. these are just my opinions in case someone new wants to bond over shows and wants to know what i thought 🤌🏽

we best love (both seasons) - 10/10. first BL that i watched, lowkey changed my life. absolutely obsessed with it, comfort series that i keep rewatching. absolutely amazing acting by everyone involved.

history3: trapped - 8.5/10. tang yi. no words. beautiful acting and cinematography, the plot was handled pretty well and i was pretty much broken by the last episode. jack and zhao lian are my children. i’m still obsessed with the OST, i listen to it multiple times a week. just goes to show how much a good soundtrack can still keep a show in your mind even if you watched it months ago.

bad buddy - 1073392729/10. HOE MY GOD. where do i start. all i’ll say is i’ll never be the same, this series is IT for me. THE show for me. nothing will ever come close. one day i’m gonna meet p’aof and cry on my knees. i will never be able to put into words just how much this series means to me, or just how important it is to me, or just how influential this has been for my life. i’ll never be able to get over it.

2gether the series - 6/10. didn’t watch the second season because s1 was so disappointing even if i finished most of it in one night. brightwin are cute and all but they were giving brothers i’m sorry 💀 their chemistry just sizzled out halfway. and they both need acting lessons i’m sorry

love in the air - 9/10. fort thitipong simp forever. first show that i watched while it was ongoing. came for payurain, stayed for prapaisky. although it’s lowkey rapey (which is to be expected from mame) i loved how well they handled the characters

tharntype - 6/10. started because i had heard so much about it, but abandoned it halfway. aside from the dubious consent (again, mame, people can’t consent when they’re asleep), the internalised homophobia got too toxic

star in my mind - 7.5/10. joongdunk are adorable, but they could’ve done a little more with the plot. the Feels™️ were lacking a little bit. cute show overall though. and i’m one of the five people who will die on the hill that seanmaitee are canon and deserved an official kiss

semantic error - 8.5/10. first KBL that i watched, finished it in one day. very beautifully done, all the colour symbolism etc was interesting as hell. pretty cute, although i do wish we could’ve gotten more fluff

love mechanics - 8/10. saw a short on yt and was convinced about the angst. boyyyy was i wrong, it was so much more angsty than i thought. highkey toxic and unhealthy too, but i’ll let it go. forever simping over p’bar. the parents angle was annoying but eh. i will say though, i had to take a lot more breaks while watching than usual, it became too much at points. we did get a little fluff at least though so

my tooth your love - 9/10. yes i hate the title. very very nicely done, the perfect representation of how trauma affects you even when you’re older and just how much it holds you back. convos about mental health, therapy, not letting your lover treat you like shit, AAAAA 🤌🏽🤌🏽 finished this in one day too. they didn’t magically have a moment where they forgave each other and kissed after confessing. they both worked to prove they were in this for the long run, and xun’an didn’t hesitate to hold bai lang accountable for being a jerk. really breaking all the BL barriers sjdhsjh 😭😭 the only part that annoyed me was his dad beating him up like hello?? he’s 30?? 💀💀 fucking vile. but bai qing is an icon and i love her and i would die for her. simp for alex speaking in english randomly. him and rj deserved more scenes and they need to be canon now!!!!!

roommates of poongduck 304 - 7.5/10. i had heard SO much about this so i had high expectations but i was kind of let down, i mean we really only got them together in ep 7. the chemistry, acting and side characters were great but tbh i feel like i’d have loved this a lottttt more if it had been a little spaced out, more episodes, had better conflict resolution and just better overall detailing. still a cute watch though

currently watching:

never let me go - this series is going to break me, i already know. phenomenal acting, symbolism and cinematography. every wednesday you can find me crying because it is just so excellent, the brainrot is real. can’t wait for more episodes

my school president - OBSESSED with them for real. they’re the toned down version of bad buddy, which i have proven in a post. can’t wait for them to be their high school’s power couple. very very wholesome

those are all for now! i’ll keep updating this post as i watch more. my to-watch list is already overflowing but i’d love your recommendations too!! and i’m always willing to scream about any given show so feel free to join me. :) x

[lurkingshan]

Rules: List 10 of your comfort shows, then tag 10 people

Tagged by @sorry-bonebag. Like you, I’m often a comfort reader even more than a comfort watcher (I love rereading books and in fact am rereading one right now) but I do also go back to shows sometimes when my stress is high. During the early pandemic I did a whole run through of all my favorite sitcoms (Schitts Creek, Parks & Rec, Brooklyn 99, New Girl) before Asian dramas took over my brain full time.

Amongst Asian dramas, here are the ones I go back to when I just want some relaxation for my brain:

Romance is A Bonus Book. This drama is so cozy. Friends to lovers set in a publishing company with two besties who take pleasure in caring for each other while reading books. What could be more comforting, I ask you.

Anything with Park Seo Joon. I just like looking at him, and he’s got several romcoms that fill this need nicely—What’s Wrong With Secretary Kim, Fight for My Way, She Was Pretty, Witch’s Romance.

Bad Buddy. I’m just never ever tired of these two and seeing them smile at each other through the pain warms my heart.

Just Between Lovers. Now you might think this one is weird because it’s about a traumatic accident and parts of it are quite stressful, but this is ultimately a healing romance and I feel healed when I watch it.

An Incurable Case of Love. It’s just cute! And the male lead does an excellent kabedon.

Go Ahead. I haven’t actually rewatched this one yet but I absolutely will be doing so many times in the future. Every time I hear the theme song my body enters the zen zone.

Hospital Playlist. Sometimes when life is hard you just want to stare at Lee Ik Jun and watch a group of pals do good shit and sing about it.

Old Fashion Cupcake, Our Dating Sim, and Semantic Error. Putting these together because they hit the same sweet spot of being perfect short form dramas that deliver a strong dopamine hit.

What Did You Eat Yesterday? No I will not be making any lists that don’t include this show anytime soon. It doesn’t matter what the question is, the answer is WDYEY.

Coffee Prince. Gong Yoo, a compelling romance, and a perfectly executed queer awakening with a well-earned happy ending. I’ll probably watch it 12 more times.

Tagging @bengiyo @neuroticbookworm @negrowhat @ranchthoughts @kayatoasted @slayerkitty @so-much-yet-to-learn @isaksbestpillow @miscellar @he-is-lightning-in-a-bottle if you want to play!

[kwonzoshi]

Hi! I’m not sure if you’ve been asked this before but, what are your top 5 BL’s that you watched this year?

Hi Nonnie, I have NOT been asked this before! So Thank you!

It's going to be hard to pick JUST 5, but here we go:

5.) Big Dragon The Series

This makes it to my top 5 because I really found myself loving the series. The more I learned about it and got into it, the more I got excited for it and didn't want it to end. It IS a bit on the chaotic side story wise but it was surprising for me how much I enjoyed it. The complexities of these characters and their feelings for each other, just how DEEP they were, I am total sucker for it. I am so ready for season 2!

4.) Secret Crush on You

Of COURSE these lovable dorks are going to be in this list. This was one of the BEST series to come out this year. Honestly truly. NueaToh was absolutely incredible and so was SkyJao. I loved the entire story and the pace they took it. They showed 2 sides of a story that could've EASILY gone so wrong but the fact everything lined up the way it did just made me adore it even more.

3.) KinnPorsche

Of course KP has to be in the top 3. This series had me on the edge of my seat, ready for the next episode to air. It was complicated, romantic, funny and just overall so good. I loved the darker themes that were involved and it was so refreshing to see the characters being real and making mistakes and just doing HUMAN shit. The tumbl app was unbearable but I also think that's what makes this series so great. It started conversations and had EVERYONE tuning in.

2.1) Light On Me

One thing about me, I'm a SLUT for the cutesy shit. I mean seriously I had zero criticism for this series other than that it was too short. It was cute and sweet, and the 'conflict' was minimal. It was an easy watch and one of my comfort BLs for sure. I rewatch it all the time and I LOVE it every single time.

2.2) Semantic Error

Yes, yes there is a tie for number 2. But these two really are just SO FANTASTIC. Just like Light On Me this was such an easy watch for me. Cute as hell and the 'conflict' was also minimal. I rewatch this one constantly and it's just one of the BLs that I truly 100% enjoyed this year. I already LOVED Park Seoham, and this was just another reason to add to the list.

1.) Love In The Air

Let's pretend to be shocked. Of course my #1 series is LITA. I mean, it had EVERYTHING I could have wanted. And while I do feel that each story should've either had their own series or happened simultaneously, it's still a solid mf series. It gave us plot, it gave us emotion, it gave us sex, it gave us comedy.. I mean what more can we ask for?! To think I wasn't even going to watch it... that's crazy.

It takes a lot for me to dislike a series so this is just the ones that stood out to me the most, personally. I have loved every series I have finished so far, and them not being on this list doesn't take away that they're good too!

[heretherebedork]

I feel like Korean BL don’t pick up with the public, I mean there was some, that I can literally count with one hand but unfortunately it’s not enough with how many K-BL came out. I absolutely hate to say it, but I don’t believe it’s because of any homophobic feeling, even though I know some productions companies said it was hard to find sponsors because of the genre, I think it’s due to the reasons BL got popular in the first place which is it’s insanely tropey, the age of the actors and the pretty privilege. Don’t get me wrong the Korean actors are good looking but unfortunately I think they suffer from ageism and not fitting the pretty boy look. K-BL has been mostly 30+ years old men in kitchen or office, there hasn’t been any use of tropes and also we have to include the fact the format of the BL (8 episodes of 15 minutes) is not enough. Of course, I enjoy the fact that each country is different and don’t want them to look all similar however Japan, Taiwan and Thailand know what sell, something I feel like Korea does not. I don’t know but the future of K-BL does not look bright at the moment and it’s truly sad because Semantic Error proved that a BL can become massively successful if done correctly.

So, there are a lot of things going into this. And a lot of details and behind the scene things and cultural things I don't know. I know @absolutebl has talked more about this and so have several creators including Strongberry.

And there is definitely a huge issue with getting the sponsors and the money to make BL in Korea because it's queer. It's a hugely cultural thing that I cannot comment on because I only know the most basic and surface level details and believe the people saying it's almost impossible to do so in their culture and their society.

Plenty of the K-BLs are filled with both BL and K-Drama tropes! Filled to the brim with them, honestly, and they're enjoyable for that. They might be set in different times or settings but the tropes themselves are fairly common. No, they're not university or high school set but that isn't a requirement for the BL tropes. Some don't use them but those are more queer shows than BL shows in the end.

The format is due to the budget. And it's worked in some shows and failed in others.

Honestly, considering the increase towards the end of the year, I agree with @absolutebl's analysis that they're going to stick with the short format but keep on making these. And I enjoy a lot of them. Honestly, the end of this year was a very interesting wave of Korean BL for me that's lead me to wonder about the production and if anything changed.

Because we went from Very BL, not queer at all, just Boys In Love With Tropes And No Queer Concepts Whatsoever (which is delightful!) to BL But With Queerer Undertones and I love it. Comparing Semantic Error to Roommates of Poongduck 304! Both have plenty of tropes but Semantic Error is a romance completely devoid of any ideas about queerness besides it being two boys while Poongduck touched on his old crush and on the idea that being gay can make you feel like you don't love 'normally'.

Chocked full of tropes, both shows, and both quite good! But, for me? I preferred Poongduck 304. Am I wrong? According to most people, yes. According to me? Nope! I loved Poongduck. It was darling and sweet and trope-y and queer all at the same time.

Part of this, anon, is that I disagree with the idea that they're not trope-y. They might be a bit different in setting but that's just refreshing and enjoyable. But the tropes are everywhere. Floppy drunk, touch my lips, messy eater, secret crush, oh moments, holding hands, sweet hugs, pining boys... there's so much and so many in them and they might look a little different because they're adults but that's half the appeal!

I think the problem with BL in Korea is one that I truly cannot comment on from the view of why they struggle to get money or budget or production (though the production value in most is far higher than Thailand to my understanding. Definitely less sound issues) but I can comment as an international viewer and, for me, the biggest issues tend to be the kdrama tropes because I don't actually watch kdramas and thus don't know them that well not the same way I know BL tropes so they don't always work for me.

But I believe the producers and the companies when they say that they're struggling to get money because the show is queer. I believe that their struggles are what they say because I absolutely assume they know more than I do about their own business.

I also think the Korean boys might be older but they're often prettier. I dunno, though, I have no idea on that, my idea of attractive doesn't always match up to most people's nor would I expect it to.

Anyway.

This is a lot of words to say that I mostly disagree with what you're putting forward but also that my lack of industry knowledge and international cultural difference puts me in a position where I cannot do say any of that with certainty.

[rhysiana]

Winter Travel Woes #2: Jang Jaeyoung/Chu Sangwoo, Semantic Error

For @roncheg, who sent: “So, obvious one - Semantic error guys go to France)))) as for the scenario there is some kind of train mishap? Wrong stop, maybe? like the stations' names differ by one vowel and it is silent in French))))” (Alas, French is not one of my languages, so I couldn’t do that aspect of it proper justice, but someone else should totally write that scenario!)

Jaeyoung checked the board as they entered the train station and then grabbed Sangwoo’s hand. “We have to run!”

They got to their platform just as the train was pulling away.

“Shit, shit, shit!” Jaeyoung chanted under his breath. He turned to Sangwoo miserably. “I’m sorry.”

“Why? It wasn’t your fault the roads were icy and the bus was behind schedule.”

“I should have planned for it better. Had us leave the apartment earlier.”

Sangwoo studied him for a few seconds and Jaeyoung braced himself for the deserved scolding that was inevitably coming. “Is something wrong? You don’t usually care so much about being on time. Is there...” Sangwoo made a slightly pained expression, “...a surprise event you haven’t told me about?”

Jaeyoung found himself startled into a laugh. This wasn’t going at all the way he’d thought. “No, no, I promise, no surprises. I just...” He sighed and pulled off his beanie to scrub a hand through his hair in frustration. “I know how much you appreciate things sticking to a schedule, and I had the whole trip planned out, and you already came all the way to France, so this seemed like the least I could do, and now it’s already going wrong.”

Sangwoo’s expression cleared. “Oh, I see.” He reached out to pat Jaeyoung on the head before nudging him to put his hat back on. “Thank you for trying to make a plan. But the main thing I have learned about traveling is that plans can’t be relied on.”

He brought his backpack around to the front and pulled out a small notebook. “I looked up the times for the next three trains as well. It’s fine.” He flipped it open and held it out to Jaeyoung, who saw a meticulous table of all their travel connections, with the original planned time for each one highlighted in yellow, but the next three later times written underneath as well.

Sangwoo opened the pen pocket and brought out a green highlighter before zipping everything closed again. “Come on, let’s go back to the ticket office.”

This time, he was the one to take Jaeyoung’s hand.

“So I didn’t ruin your trip?”

“Of course not. The purpose of my trip was to see you.”

Jaeyoung grinned the rest of the way to the ticket office.

[shinahbee]

BL Semes Tier list

Okay this is inspired by my last post on un popular opinions on BL characters and some one decided to make a tier list for ranking the “Semes/ Tops” lol. I decided to rank mine with only ones that I have read, there are ones that I know the character through osmosis but I haven’t read it at all so I won’t be including those.

there is also a Uke tier list so I might rank those too!

again if you are offended by people talking crap about your favorite character maybe not read any of my posts cause that can’t be avoided here.

but let’s be real for a sec...the actual challenge is me remembering all these people’s names LMAO.

so how I ranked my list was red flag to green....lol not really but it turned out that way. the highest tier is the spicy-nice tier and if you have followed me for a long time I have named my favorites “ spicy- nice “ because they are neither bad boys or good boys entirely and they have that extra something that makes you go...huh? 

Spicy-nice tier:

dooshik -Pearl boy

hyunwook- Secondo piatto

taekyeom- Omega complex

wolfgang- kings maker

Giovanni - Hold me tight

hyorung- don’t get me wrong boss

yoonseul - the third ending

Like I said they all have that extra something that separates them from the next ranking of just being the “nice guy” they have parts of them that are imperfect but does not let that affect the relationship with their partners.

----------------------------------------

Good personality but need more development:

woowon- the pizza delivery man and the gold palace

sunyul - Love tractor

jinseng - path to you

seheon- No moral

woon - between the stars

yohan - liveta

jekwon- butler

sunghyun- the origin of species

Dahyeok- killer crush

Hoin- Lucky paradise

Taejun- Unintentional love story

inhyun - insatiable man

reok- willow love story

seowoo- seeing double

holy crap I forgot some of these characters names and even the title, lol its been so long since then. but hopefully these are all right. But these character are great in personality but I feel as though they don’t have a lot of character development yet or was not expanded, which is what disconnects me from them and if that is explored later on they might moved up in rank since I would know them a lot better.

------------------------------------

Don’t feel one way or another:

Howon - runway hit

byeol’s brother...lol. I dont know his name I think its hesung..- Between the stars

Jaeyoung - semantic error

jiwoon - my suha

seongho- painter of the night

Jaeshin- the ghosts nocturne

tsukiyama... lol. I’m kidding but I forgot his name for real - Dine with a vampire 

cain- your to claim

taekung..I think lol- Love or hate

Jaewoo -seeing double

so as you can see I don’t feel one way or another, this is due to the fact that I either prefer one character over the other in the same series or in most cases I dropped the entire series and I don’t care about any of the characters. If I don’t know thier names I usually give them nicknames lol. 

--------------------------------------

looks better than their personality:

wooyeon - Love history of willful negligence

Ilay - passion

Nakwon - beware of the full moon in march

Jaehyuk - limited run

sehan- shadow realm

ajusshi - dangerous convenient store

like I said 10/10 for looks 4/10 for personality. some of these protags are really shitty and I’ll talk about some of them in my monthly favorites but they just have that personality that I hate (ajusshi is an exception, I just don’t prefer his personality, he isn’t bad ) even though they are good looking fellas.

------------------------------------------

NOPE:

juwon- Love or hate

yoojin - Turn off the camera

Yawhi- Yours to claim

sungyeon - even if I don’t love you...forgot the title

Jaekyung- jinx

ilmo - blind play

jiwon- BJ alex

seoreok - Chess piece ( not that he is bad, I just don’t find him attractive lol)

I don’t think I need to explain really but no means no and sometimes these characters would not take no for an answer and sometimes do despicable things, physical and mentally assault either their partner or people in general...yeah not the most ideal type, but some people love them like their lives depend on it and I worry for them.lol.

the thing that separates the not so good personalities from the nope tier is that there is something about those characters that motivate them to do the things they do..even if it makes them despicable eg. wooyeon is a good example of a sociopath that does not understand peoples actions and feelings towards him which makes him able to get away with punching someone in the face with a smile on and just walking away like nothing just happened. some of the people they do that to are worse than scum...so who is bad person here? 

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anyways, that was fun, I need to do an updated BL tier list soon cause I have read more since that time and let me tell you...rankings have changed.

hope you enjoyed and if you feel the same let me know. 

[morkofday]

~ getting to know your BL mutuals ~

got tagged by @wanderlust-in-my-soul​ ♥ thank you so much and sorry i’m so late!

rules: answer the questions and @ some people. Include the tag 'g2ky BL mutuals 2022' on your post so we can find everyone's answer.

What have been the BLs that took you by surprise this year?

i’ve watched so many bls this year it feels a bit insane but at least i have stuff to choose from! all those shows have also brought me amongst a large group of amazing ppl here :’) i wish i could talk about all of them bc of that but well.

Bad Buddy - when i got into this one, i did not expect it to fill my mind, heart, and soul the way it did. the title made me expect something very silly, especially knowing how ohm and his roles are. but i am incredibly happy we have something like bb, it means so much to me ♥

Blueming - i remember seeing snippets of this one and semantic error around the same time. the general feeling i got was that ppl preferred semantic error, or that there was more talk about that one. personally, i prefer this bc there’s something in it that made me fee extremely seen ♥

Enchanté - didn’t really expect anything from this show once i finally got into it. i basically went there just to get a bit more of jimmy content (which i did. my boy ♥). but jokes on me, i adored akktheo too. the ending could’ve been different but they had one of the best slow burns i’ve seen in a while ♥

You’re My Sky - i will never get over how good this show was. i was very surprised bc i didn’t think a sports bl could do something like this. but this one just feels like there’s been a lot of thought put into it and it managed to get under my skin in similar ways as blueming did ♥

Triage - expected something as wild and kind of silly as manner of death was as these two happen in the same universe. also exected something very aesthetically pleasing once i learned who the director was. got both but on top of that triage was an interesting look at life, death, and everything in between ♥

Color Rush 2 - i was very into the first season but saw other ppl being kind of let down by this second one. i was also a bit confused about the second main lead getting changed/left out but then decided to just watch this one night. was very happy with everything i got and despite the runtime obviously being a bit too short for what they were attempting here, i got filled with a lot of love and some heartache ♥

Bonus: The Shipper - i don’t want to label this strictly a bl bc this doesn’t feel like it belongs there. but i still want to mention it here bc it totally blew me away. after i go over the cringe at the beginning of this show and settled into its humor, i adored this show to bits. i will always think about this one very fondly, even after all the heartbreak it gave me ♥

What have been the BLs that you felt a bit disappointed with this year?

none of this is intended as hate, just saying

KinnPorsche - don’t get me wrong, kp is one of the most stunning shows i’ve seen in a while. their cinematography was amazing, they had obviously paid attention to detail, and i liked many of the characters. i just thought the plot fell a bit flat and some of the characters didn’t make sense as the story developed. maybe i expected too much or just wanted something different from what i got? vegaspete still makes me insane tho, god bless. 

Not Me - the show is a masterpiece and i am very, very happy we got it. it was a blast to follow it all way through and it has some of my fave scenes, themes, and characters ever. but then the obvious issues they had with the writing and especially the ending of the show kind of took away some of the shine. i know it was not the team’s fault entirely bc they weren’t given much but i still mourn a type of loss, even more so when over half of the show promised so much. also am still somewhat bitter about gramblack. 

The Eclipse - i looked forward to this one a lot once i watched most of the gmmtv2022 trailers at the beginning of the year. this, vv and never let me go were the ones that drove me insane. i had a lot of theories about how the plot for this might go and i was very on board with what they did until like. maybe ep 7? i cannot remember. but at some point the plot just totally flew out the window and i was not satisfied with how things ended :/ i still love that we got both akkayan and kanthua. they are very important to me. 

What has been your favorite BL this year?

The two bls that became my personality for a while aka Bad Buddy and Vice Versa. I know I am very biased. I do not care. I adore both to bits and find such comfort from both of these shows and their characters ♥ I can also thank both from various amazing friendships on this site plus a lot of inspiration I still keep treasuring and using every day. 

(is it even me if i don’t somehow make it about vice versa?)

Favorite BL couples (not just of 2022)?

i have waaay too many but let me list a few then (hopefully i can remember any from other years bc it’s been so long):

PatPran (but also WaiKorn)

PuenTalay

SeanWhite

KanThua

FahPrince (from Sky in Your Heart)

PureFolk (from My Gear and Your Gown)

WinTeam

MingKit (from 2Moons, speciafically 2Moons2)

Haoting x Xigu (from Make Our Days Count)

KornKnock (from Together With Me)

NubsibGene (from Lovely Writer)

What's your non-BL favorite this year?

i think it’s a tie between 55:15 Never Too Late and My Dear Loser: Edge of 17. i dunno what it says about me that both of these are nanon led series but this is where i am at the moment :’D 

i haven’t watched that many non bls this year but both of these left an impression. 55:15 was amazing, both with the plot and the characters. i kind of want to watch it again just to see more of the details. both the older and younger actors were acting their asses off, and i enjoyed the whole experience down to every emotion the show tore out of me. my dear loser then again surprised me by being super sweet but also very rough. young nanon as oh is a treasure (i wish i could just pat his head and pinch his cheeks), but i can also see a lot of pain in there under his goofy smile. he and his personal journey made me feel a lot, and the show also brought up some issues that hit close to home. 

thank you so much once more for tagging me into this ^^ i dunno how many ppl have already done this but am still tagging a few! feel free to ignore, or just link me your post if you’ve already done this! also wishing everyone very happy holidays, may it be warm and cozy ♥

@oswlld​ @dimpledpran​ @stormyoceans​ @nongnaos​ @snimeat​ @thanawins​ @phukaoapologist​ @winmon​ @machikeita​ ♥

[absolutebl]

Hello!

I love your blog and your recommendations! I've recently watched seven days because of it (it's perfect thank you so much) and on my way to put it on the list of my favourites near semantic error and kieta hatsukoi I noticed a common thread among those three!! That being, none of the them have one of my most beloathed tropes, that I've nicknamed "newsflash asshole".

Yknow, when you're just watching a thing then suddenly newsflash asshole!! This guy actually has secretly been in love for a ridiculous amount of offscreen time!! Sarawat's been down since a year prior! Kaneda and Mu Yeong are their crushes' #1 fans since forever! Kurosawa and Togawa were pining for years! Shin from minato's laundromat even managed to fall in love before leaving diapers! Here, have a flashback to really drive it home.

Alright, I'm being needlessly mean here for the sake of trying to be funny; I DID like some of these actually, and i don't think there's anything wrong with the trope itself; sometimes finding each other again is part of the premise (our dating sim, kabe koji), sometimes guy 1 already being in love is what gets the whole thing moving (cherry magic, old fashion cupcake, both also my faves <3) which is fine!! It's just that it feels like this trope is in EVERYTHING and it's really wearing me out. Maybe it's not even the majority, and I'm just looking at the wrong places.

Soooo here's my plea: do you have any recommendations of shows where the people involved have no previous history?

Oooo, what a good question and I have never done this one before. First off here's what to avoid:

On to your ask!

Seven Days FTW! Yay!

You're talking about LTP & Child Hood crushes. "Here, have a flashback to really drive it home." Actually this is a hallmark of a lot of Asian romance in particular not just BL.

Finding each other again is part of the premise (our dating sim, kabe koji) - this is technically 2nd Chance or Reunion romance

Guy 1 already being in love is what gets the whole thing moving (cherry magic, old fashion cupcake) - I think you're probubly more into these because the occur during adulthood?

Soooo here's my plea: do you have any recommendations of shows where the people involved have no previous history?

I will make a post just for you! & tag you in it

[ltleflrt]

Just food for thought - didn’t want to reblog your post with this because I didn’t want to derail your lived experience as a bi person on your personal post, or the experiences of others who relate to that post - but as a bi woman in a long term relationship with a man, I will never ever say my relationship with him is “straight” because I am not straight. And it deeply aggravates me when other people outside my relationship call it “straight”, because it’s not - even if they see it that way, I don’t, and how I define my relationship is more important and more true than how other people do. Sure, I get that bi people are often multiple things at once and have a hard time picking between things, I experience that too, but I don’t call myself straight when I love a man and gay when I love a woman; I’m just bi, that’s just one thing. And these waters get further muddied when you consider nb bisexuals - there is no “opposite” sex for them because they are not a part of the gender binary, so then you would HAVE to call any relationship they have (including with cis/straight people) “queer”. But an nb person is not more queer or not more frequently queer than I am just because they approach all their relationships from the perspective of being nb - you can’t quantify queerness, it’s a state of being, not something you measure. You are more than welcome to call your relationships with the opposite sex “straight” and your relationships not with the opposite sex “queer” if that’s something you like doing or identify with, but many many bi people I know (including myself) will not do that, because our existence in a relationship inherently makes it queer, because we are queer.

Funnily enough, the person who irked me into making my post about multiple definitions being true at the same time was someone who stated their relationship as "opposite sex" rather than "straight" because they were a nb bi person in a relationship with a nb bi person. And they were arguing with a bi person in a relationship with another bi person who defined their relationship as straight. And I thought to myself... if you're both nb, then it's not really "opposite sex" is it? But they also stated that because of the nature of being nb, and that they sometimes present as specific genders because they have to, because That's How Society Is, that they are often perceived as "opposite sex". So I can see how they'd prefer to label their relationship as "opposite sex" rather than "straight" or "queer", and I support them in that. So they don't HAVE to call their relationship queer either, and unlike what you have done in your statement, I would never go up to nb people who apear binary to the outside world and tell them they can't use "opposite sex" because they're nb. That's just rude, and dismissive of their lived experiences, which I have no insider knowledge of.

Which circles back MY point; that we get into these arguments about semantics while still making errors in semantics. If a bi person in a m/f relationship wants to call it a straight relationship, I support them. If a bi person in a m/f relationship wants to call it an opposite sex (or any other iteration of queer) relationship, I support them. If one or both of the partners is non-binary, and they want to use any combination of straight/gay/queer/unlabeled because fuck society norms, I support them.

What I don't support is bi people lecturing other bi people about the language they choose to use. Because after reading through multiple arguments about this, what I have seen is that both parties are right and wrong at the same time. And I think it's especially funny (in both the ironic and the haha ways, because that's the theme of this argument) when people who identify multiple ways want to police other people who identify multiple ways in how they want to identify themselves or their relationship status.

So how about this. If I define myself one way, that you don't agree with because you don't define yourself that way, and vice versa, we step back and go "that's not my lived experience, English is a fucking nightmare anyway, and I'm going to mind my own business", and move on with our lives, rather than continuing to get into these arguments about semantics.

If it's not an outright attack or hate speech, let it go.

Signed - a queer, bisexual, autochorissexual, lithromantic, gnc woman, in a m/f relationship that I like to alternate between calling queer and calling straight depending on my mood and the phase of the moon, with a partner who always prefers to define it as straight.

[jambeast]

I was thinking about that particular Twitter saga, and particularly how a contrarian meta-dunk position emerged, to the effect that "the people dunking on Lavern Spicer are being stupid, because she knows exactly what she's doing and they're playing into her hands; she's trolling to get engagement, and is just signalling that she hates trans people". I think it's a blind-men-and-the-elephant scenario, though, where both the basic object-level "lol look at this dumb tweet that's deeply embroiled in culture war and doesn't know what pronouns are" take and the "the semantic error here is beyond the point, as she is communicating what she intends to, which is a tribal signal" take see part of the bigger picture, but aren't getting the larger picture quite right. I'm pretty sure that, outside of 4chan-style trolling ops, people don't actually make culture war pronouncements this stupid on purpose; Lavern Spicer does not understand why what she's saying is wrong, and if she could understand, she would be mortified. The problem is that she is dumb enough, the culture war is hot enough, and her error is sufficiently clearly tribally aligned that it is unlikely she will ever figure out what she said wrong, and if she ever does, it certainly won't be because one of her political enemies told her. She is anti-intellectual, in the genuinely bad sense of anti-intellectual. It's not that she secretly knows what a pronoun is and is deliberately beclowning herself to exploit the Twitter algorithm for later political gain. It's that she (and her subculture) can't be told what a pronoun is (and are thereby alienating anyone who does), because she actively values being dumb. Assorted happenings managed to convert the word "pronoun" into an applause light for the left and a boo light for the right, and many people struggle to understand anything above that tribal level.

Plus, it's only the enemy team that is correcting her anyway. Why the hell would she listen to the Enemy team criticise her? They're the enemy team! Them hating what she says, to her, is only further proof that what she's saying is right. There is no truth in Culture War Bullshit, there is only pwning the libs.

I think if she found out the truth about grammar, I don't think she'd be mortified, because regardless of how true it is, she pwned the libs with it. She doesn't secretly know that she's wrong and thus lying - she simply doesn't care. It made the people she didn't like angry (or, well, it made them make fun of her, but she can twist the latter into the former). It was directed against the enemy team in favour of the ally team, and everything else falls by the wayside in her mind.

[grahamstoney]

26 Ways To Get The Hell Over Your Fear Of Making Mistakes

New Post has been published on https://grahamstoney.com/mindset/26-ways-to-get-the-hell-over-your-fear-of-making-mistakes

26 Ways To Get The Hell Over Your Fear Of Making Mistakes

I’m not going to lie to you: making mistakes still freaks me out. There’s something about getting things wrong that causes me to break out into a cold sweat. Even if I’m at home playing music by myself, just the thought “What if I get it wrong?” induces enough panic to throw my concentration out, leading to a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Does Making Mistakes Still Freak You Out Too?

It’s easy enough to see where this paranoia comes from. I grew up with a mother who criticised my father for almost everything that he said and did, and this led to arguments that I found very frightening. Most of those arguments were about who was right and who was wrong in the previous argument, so I learned from a very young age that it was extremely important to be right all the time if you wanted to avoid degrading humiliation and terrifying conflict.

Add to that a religion where you burned in hell for all eternity for being a flawed human being, if you didn’t accept the correct saviour. Even as a young child I knew that there were other religions from the one I was being indoctrinated with, so there were other possibilities to choose from. Being wrong about my choice of religion/saviour/deity had eternal unpleasant consequences.

And then there was an education system where your social status bequeathed by the teachers in the form of grades and your position in the class hierarchy depended on me giving the answers that they liked. Get too many things wrong, and I would find myself condemned to the class full of dead-heads.

This kind of thing can leave a lasting impact. I’m still upset about being marked wrong in 5th grade for answering that π equalled 3.1415926535897, rather than the “correct” answer of 22/7.

When I look at the beliefs that I internalised about making mistakes and getting things wrong, they pretty much boil down to these two:

If I make mistakes, people won’t love me

If I get anything wrong, I will be punished

I’ve long since abandoned much of the perfectionistic family, cultural and religious belief systems that I grew up with, so I no longer consciously believe that making mistakes is a terrible thing to be avoided at all costs. But just try telling that to my hyper-vigilant limbic system.

So lets see what happens when I run these beliefs through the 26 “Mind lines” from L. Michael Hall and Bobby G. Bodenhamer’s book Mind Lines: Lines For Changing Minds to see if I can neutralise them with a little neuro-semantic magic.

The book makes a distinction between External Behaviour and Internal State. In these two beliefs, the external behaviour is “make mistakes” and “get anything wrong”, while the Internal State is “people not loving me” and “being punished”.

Bring on 26 Ways To Get The Hell Over Your Fear Of Making Mistakes:

#1: Specificity: Chunking Down

Which people specifically are we talking about here? Perfectionistic control-freaks? They’re conditional love has strings attached. It’s toxic! You don’t want it anyway. Or strangers you’ll never meet? Who cares whether they love you or not? And what mistakes specifically are we talking about? Starting a sentence with the word “And”? Who gives a fuck. If people want to be that pedantic, let them go fuck themselves. You don’t need their love either. What specifically do you mean by “won’t love me”, anyway? Won’t send you Christmas cards? Won’t invite you to their lame parties? Won’t want to hang out with you? Would you really want to hang out with anyone who doesn’t want to hang out with you, anyway? Talk about awkward.

So what exactly do you mean by “get anything wrong”? Make mathematical errors? As if anyone is going to punish you for a mistake in your algebra now that you’re a grown-up. Get an accountant if you’re that worried about it. And how exactly do you expect to be punished? You don’t get sent to jail just for making mistakes, unless there’s some deliberate nefarious intent involved or extreme recklessness that goes way beyond anything you got in trouble for in primary school.

#2: Detailing the Strategy’s Sequence

You start out by doing your best at something, and nevertheless fuck it up. Then a whole brigade of loved ones, friends, associates, and strangers you’ve never met all race into your head and start screaming “You fucked it up!!!” Next, they all abandon you in search of someone who gets everything right, every time. Nice strategy. No wonder you worry so much about getting things wrong.

Let’s look at the punishment sequence:

Step 1: Make mistake (a.k.a. sin).

Step 2: Burn in hell for all eternity.

Yeah, that’s a belief system I’d like to buy into.

#3: Content Reframing: Reframe the External Behaviour by Redefining It

Perhaps there’s another way of looking at this whole “making mistakes” thing. Are you really ever making a mistake, or are you just learning how to be more successful next time? “Getting something wrong” could just be an exciting part of the adventure of life. Maybe other people react the way they do because they do love you, rather than because they don’t.

What you think of as “being punished” might just be other people’s way of celebrating your behaviour. If you make the mistake of committing a crime, perhaps the legal system just wants to reward you with 10 years in the company of other people who also enjoy committing crimes.

#4: Content Reframing: Reframe the Internal State by Redefining It

That unpleasant feeling that you get when you think that other people won’t love you might just be a helpful warning sign to get you to pay more attention so you’ll do a better job in future. Or maybe it’s not anxiety, but excitement: you’re excited about what a great job you can do. Perhaps it’s even fun to feel the edgy excitement of putting yourself out there and screwing everything up something royal, seeing as you’re such an adrenaline junkie. I mean, you must be given that you keep getting so anxious about things.

#5: Reflexive Reframing: Reflexively Apply External Behaviour to Self or Listener

Do you love other people when they make mistakes? Sometimes seeing someone make a mistake makes me warm to them because I’m witnessing their humanity. What I really hate about other people is when they refuse to acknowledge or show their vulnerability, weaknesses and mistakes. Mistakes and failures make other people more lovable to me.

Do other people deserve punishment when they do something wrong? Well that depends on how you want to see the world. If you want to see it as a harsh place where any misdeed is dealt with retributively, go right ahead… but excuse me if I choose not to participate in your self-created anti-nirvana. I’d rather live in a world filled with compassion and tolerance personally.

#6: Reflexive Reframing: Reflexively Apply Internal State to Self or Listener

Perhaps it’s possible to love other people more when I make mistakes, because I get to see that they’re just like me. Obviously other people make mistakes; I’ve been on the receiving end of plenty in my life. I make mistakes too. So really, we’re all just the same. I can feel the love already!

Punishing other people for my mistakes is a bit of a dickhead thing to do, but I’ve got to admit that I do it. I create these enemy images in my head of people who I think have “hurt me” by their cruel and callous actions. I think negative thoughts about them, and then try to punish them for the way I’m thinking. That doesn’t make a lot of sense, so I think I’ll quit doing that. If other people want to do it to me, that’s their own problem. I don’t need people like that in my life anyway. Let them try to “punish” me with abandonment; I’ll have the last laugh because they won’t be on my radar any more.

#7: Counter Example Framing

Ever had people love you even though you made a mistake? I think it’s called forgiveness, but don’t ask me because I’m not an expert at it. In fact, ever had people love you more because you made a mistake? I screwed up my routine at a stand-up comedy gig, and people told me afterwards that they loved that part the best. I always like it when other comedians mess up on-stage and I get to see their vulnerability. Mistakes are awesome for generating love and affinity between people!

You don’t always get punished for getting things wrong. Sometimes the universe rewards us for our mistakes. It’s a golden rule of theatrical improvisation that there is no wrong, and the bigger you can fuck it up, the better it generally goes. The rules that applied as a child in primary school generally operate the other way around as an adult in the real world.

#8: Positive Prior Intention Framing

Everybody loves you regardless of what you think of as your “mistakes”. The only reason they ever even bothered to point your flaws and weaknesses out to you in the past, was because they cared enough to let you know ways you could be even more awesome. The people who punished you in the past were just helpful Pavlovian behaviourists who wanted to condition you for even greater excellence in the future.

#9: Positive Prior Cause Framing

The reason some people don’t love you isn’t because you make mistakes sometimes; it’s because they just haven’t gotten to know you yet. They’ve very discriminating and just don’t want their love taken for granted. Other people want to be absolutely sure that when you do experience their love, that it feels real and meaningful to you.

Adults who punished you as a child were just preparing you for an exciting adulthood. They wanted to highlight the contrast between childhood, where you got punished for mistakes, and adulthood, where you get rewarded. They wanted you to feel the absolute joy of discovering for yourself that the more action you take as an adult, the more mistakes you make and the greater the rewards you receive in life.

#10: First Outcome Framing

What results are you likely to get if you hang onto the beliefs that mistakes mean that people won’t love you, and getting things wrong leads to punishment? Well, you won’t take many risks, and will live a small, unfulfilled “life of quiet desperation”. Is that really what you want?

#11: Outcome Of Outcome Framing

If you keep avoiding failure you’ll become totally risk-averse and miss out on all the excitement that life has to offer. All because you were too busy focusing on whether other people would love you or punish you for some arbitrary thing you’ve done that you’re choosing to call “wrong” or “mistaken”. I don’t see this leading to the life of my dreams; more like the life of your nightmares.

#12: Eternity Framing

Ultimately, if you persist in avoiding taking action out of fear of getting anything wrong, your whole world will implode into a gravitational black whole of suckiness. You’ll end up in a living hell for your sins.

Happy now?

#13: Model of the World Framing

What kind of fucked up inner world are you living in there anyway? One where people’s love and approval depends on whether we get everything right or not, and where any little mistake, no matter how minor, is met with cruel and unusual punishment. Yikes. The world you’ve created for yourself in your head isn’t one I’d want to live in. Get me out of here.

#14: Criteria and Values Framing

It’s not much fun to think that other people’s love depends on you being perfect, is it? Or that you’ll be punished for getting things wrong; unless we’re talking some kind of kinky business here. Nor is it consistent with the esteemed value of unconditional love. If you want to have fun in life, perhaps it’s time to forget about these limiting beliefs altogether.

#15: Allness or Universality Framing

Is it really true that all people won’t love you if you make any mistakes? I think not. Surely there are people out there who will love you regardless. Maybe even in your family, if you’d lighten up for long enough to give them a chance. And you haven’t always been punished for getting things wrong.

#16: Necessity Framing

Is this whole mistake/wrong/unloved/punishment thing really necessary?

I want to go play music now; it’s more fun.

#17: Identity Framing

Making mistakes and getting things wrong doesn’t really alter who you are. Whether other people love you or not doesn’t alter who you are either. Some people love you because of who you are, and others love you in spite of it. Your lovability isn’t dependent on whether other people choose to invest their emotional energy in you. You are not your behaviours, nor are you the outcome of your actions. You are who you are regardless of any mistakes you make.

#18: Framing All Other Abstractions

Reality does not dictate that mistakes make you unlovable; that’s just an idea you cooked up in your little brain… and this crazy idea is the big mistake. Other people’s response to you isn’t about you. They may withhold love, and they may punish sometimes. That’s about them, not you. I can’t emphasise enough just how silly it is to continue acting as-if you’ll be punished as an adult for getting things wrong. It’s an idea from the past that has no relevant in the present. It’s not real.

#19: Ecology Framing

Does believing that mistakes cause people not to love you, serve you well? Does thinking that you will be punished if you make mistakes make life a party? Do these irrational beliefs from your past create the best of all possible worlds for you to live in now? Are all these rhetorical questions starting to grate on you yet?

#20: Metaphoring Framing Or Storying Framing

Once upon a time, there was a little boy who got into trouble a lot for doing what he enjoyed. The people around him weren’t much fun and didn’t share his sense of humour. They wanted a nice, safe, quiet, boring life. For a long time, he did what they wanted because otherwise they withdrew their love or punished him severely. So he pretended to be the nice little boy he thought they wanted. Then he got very unhappy. In his desperation, he decided not to bother worrying what other people think any more, and to trust his creative instincts. This morning, he wrote this article so you can live in heaven instead of hell too.

#21: Both/And Framing

Sound the alarms! Turn on the sirens. I detect black-and-white thinking. Even if other people’s love did depend on whether you made mistakes or not, surely there’s a lot you could get away with before they’d withdraw their love completely. Getting little things wrong probably doesn’t attract any punishment at all; it’s not like we’re talking about killing someone here, or raping and pillaging.

There’s plenty of scope to live and have fun within the adult law, even when you get things wrong, without attracting any kind of punishment from the legal system. Push the boundaries and you’ll find that even there, the severity of the crime determines the severity of the punishment. Not that I’m suggesting becoming a career criminal; I’m just saying that there are degrees of “getting things wrong” and the punishment associated.

#22: Pseudo-Word Framing

Who came up with this idea of a “mistake” anyway? Maybe from time to time you behave in ways that don’t get you a result that you’d like, or that wind up giving you an experience you don’t enjoy so much. But is it really a “mistake”? It’s a made-up concept. There are no mistakes in life really, just learning opportunities. I might find this difficult to swallow when I’m in a lot of emotional pain over something turning out in a way that I didn’t like, such as a girl ditching me for another guy. But perhaps the only real “mistake” in life is to believe that there’s such a thing as a “mistake”.

And as for “getting something wrong”, that’s only a valid concept in the context of mathematics or formal logic. It doesn’t apply to the real world, where there are only actions and consequences; and the consequences often depend on many things outside our control. So you can hardly say you “got something wrong” just because you didn’t get the result that you would have liked.

#23: Negation Framing

I think you may have got the whole thing around backwards. People hate perfectionist robots. Making mistakes shows humanness and vulnerability. Showing vulnerability is the way to get people to love you. Getting things wrong shows humanness, that other people warm to and feel more safe around. Even my 5th cousin once removed Alan Turing’s “imitation game” required a computer to get things wrong sometimes in order to be considered having human intelligence. People will only truly love you if you make mistakes and get things wrong sometimes.

#24: Possibility and “As If” Framing

What would your life be like if you acted as-if these beliefs weren’t really true, and held no power over you any more? What would be possible if you not only thought that it was OK, but even advantageous to make mistakes, and that this would increase the amount of love in your life? How would you act if you believed that the only way to be rewarded in life was to take massive action and get as many things wrong as possible?

#25: Systemic and Probability Framing

Looking at the big picture, what’s the likelihood that you would lose all sense of love from other people even if you made mistakes constantly? Even if the belief was true, there is no chance that you could ever lose everyone’s love. Even the worst criminals have friends, and nobody can take away the love that you have for yourself; it’s always there, even if you can’t feel it.

Tackling the religious punishment-for-sins idea: Any God who condemned a person to eternal suffering for finite sins conducted in a limited lifetime would be unjust; and the bible says that God is loving and just. The notion of a loving God isn’t consistent with the idea of eternal punishment in hell; they couldn’t possibly exist in the same system. You don’t get eternal punishment for getting things wrong in this universe.

#26: Decision Framing

You get to decide what you believe and how you act. Who do you want to be? Someone who holds back from taking action because you’re worried that you might make mistakes (which you certainly will) and lacks love (which you certainly won’t). It’s your choice whether you judge yourself harshly and use labels like “getting something wrong”.

Or you could decide to dance like nobody’s watching, like my friend Gavin. Because nobody is.

[invisiblegarters]

The New Employee 5 & 6

Episode 5

Ah okay back to the crush days. I didn't really have crushes in college, but I remember when I did get them and I both loved and hated the feeling.

So he recognizes the pen because he was there when it was purchased. That makes sense. I knew it was Yu Seong's because ~drama, but I have to admit I was curious about how Seung Hyun knew it.

Also, my dude. It's been literal years. Might be time to stop pining over your old crush.

Aw, Jong Chan is sweet. And the poor guy has no idea what the hell happened. YOU ARE 28 WHOLE YEARS OLD, SEUNG HYUN. Open your damn mouth.

Ji Yeon remains the best. I love her and I wish I had a bestie just like her.

I do love a good workplace romance but I also see the inherent issues in dating your boss. I am having the same problem with Mon and Sam in GAP. I like the trope, but also that's your money and your livelihood, people, do try to keep the love life out of the workplace. But then I also really like workplace shenanigans…

I waffle, is what I'm saying.

"You know how small our dating pool is" - ain't that the truth. And I don't think that it's bad that he and Yu Seong are still friends, in fact I think that it's a good thing. Especially since I get zero vibes of longing from either of them. I mean, they were only in a few scenes together, but from what I recall it almost seemed like Yu Seong was prodding Jong Chan in Seung Hyun's direction. Like a good friend and senior.

In a way, I think that it would have been better had the two of them dated. Since Seung Hyun never got to have that relationship he built it up in his head, made it a wall that blocks out any real thing that he might have been able to experience. And I don't blame Jong Chan for being frustrated, either. Also he has a cat and as a cat person myself, I can't have beef with a man who cuddles a kitty and uses it as an emotional sounding board for his feelings about his intern.

The cat text struggles are real, people.

Oh yeah Team Leader Choi is gonna be a problem.

I must say I do like all the pining this episode, but I'm glad everything got resolved in the same one instead of dragging out. Don’t get me wrong, I love me some drama, but it's also nice to see an adult relationship where they actually behave like adults and talk things out. 

Episode 6

They are so cute. And I love a good height difference. Of course, nothing beats Semantic Error for that.

Aw, the way Seung Hyun says "hyung" is so adorable. The quiet little voice.

"Do you want to see my cat?" I love that this isn’t actually a euphemism. I have to admit that would get me, too.

Interesting that Jong Chan decided against journalism because he didn't want to do the networking and brown noising required to succeed. I mean, he's gotten by without doing it in advertising, but I think that all this workplace tension means that that's not going to last. People are already back biting at him, and at Seung Hyun for being kind of taken under his wing. One of them is going to suffer for Jong Chan's approach to work, and let's be real, the intern is easier to get at.

I like how much Jong Chan believes in him, though. It's sweet.

I really like how much Seung Hyun's whole team supports his efforts to get a permanent position in the company. They all root for him. As they should.

But he didn't get it, did he? I wonder if that is what the phone call that Jong Chan received was about.

Still feel like it will turn out to be deliberate sabotage. Manager Choi is my first guess, because he's a jerk, he's clearly jealous of Jong Chan, and he's noted the way that Jong Chan supports Seung Hyun. And as I already said, getting at the intern and ruining his chances is a lot easier than trying to go after Jong Chan directly, especially when he's so good at his job that the higher ups will do anything to keep him around.

I have to give it to this show, they manage to pack in a lot into a small time frame. The progression of the relationship doesn't seem forced at all, and both of the actors are really doing a good job conveying that they really like each other. They're also managing to get in enough conversation about important things that I can really see how they work as a couple. I've seen shows with much longer run times that don't manage it half as well.