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hockeyandhrsepwr · 1 year

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How on Earth?

*The boys try to embarrass Eddy, but things don’t go the way they expect*

The hockey boys are at a house party and have decided to spice the evening up with a little game of truth or dare.

“Eddy, your turn” Luke says and the boy rolls his eyes. “Dare.”

“Okay, think of the cheesiest pick up line you can, then say it to a girl of our choice & try to get a date.” The boys start snickering and looking around the room. “Her!” Duke points to a group of girls chatting in the corner “Bruh there’s four of them. Be specific.” He rolls his eyes. “The redhead in the black top. 20 bucks you can’t get her number.”

“Ooh, 30 he gets shut down right away.” Luke pipes up.

“15 he can’t get a dance with her” Comes from Mark

“Wow guys, thanks for the support.” Eddy flips them off as he makes his way towards the girl.

Duke snickers and the guys ask him what’s funny “She’s in my management class. Ive asked her out before but she said she doesn’t like athletes. And she definitely saw him over here with me.” He rubs his hands together. “There no way he doesn’t get shut down.”

Y/n POV

You’re standing chatting to a few friends that lived in your first year dorm, when someone taps you on the shoulders. Your friends are smirking and you turn to see Ethan Edwards, one of the hockey players. You know a few of them from classes but haven’t met him yet. You can see Dylan over his shoulder smirking. Oh shit, he’s wearing glasses. They’re my weakness, especially given how cute he is even without them.

Ethan POV

Holy shit she’s hot. The girl looks up at me questioningly. I’ve forgot what I’m supposed to say.

Y/n POV

He clears his throat

“Sorry, I just had to come over & say, my eyesight may be crap, but I can still see you’re an absolute catch. “

It takes a second but you laugh. “Really?”

His face falls, so you rush to finish “It was cute!” And his face perks back up. “So if I asked you if you want to grab a drink?” “Now or another time?”

He smiles “hopefully both?”. Damn he’s cute. You smile back.

“How about coffee tomorrow morning?” You wink

“That sounds good! Can I get your number so we can sort it out?” “I’m thinking more we could maybe grab one now at my place and then see…” you trail off, hoping he’s picking up what you’re putting down. It takes a sec, but he seems to get it & blushes. He nods, dopey grin on his face. “I’d like that”

“Okay, Why don’t you give me a few minutes to tell my friends I’m leaving & then ill come grab you”

He nods & heads back to the boys as you walk off in search of your party buddy.

No one POV

Ethan walks back over to the boys, getting razzed because he didn’t get her number. They ask what pick up line he used, and the response is overwhelmingly “what the hell?” “Please tell me you didn’t”

Duker starts up “God thats embarrassing man. Of all the possiblities, you come up with that? No wonder it didn’t work!” He finishes just as someone approaches the group

Y/n POV

You sling an arm around Dukes shoulder as you say hey to him, Mackie & mark, who you’ve had classes with at some point over the last 2 years.

“Sup boys, having fun?” They nod. “Cool, Eddy you ready?”

He nods & extends a hand. You grab it and pull him towards you. “Bye boys” you call over your should as you pull Eddy away “see you Monday Duker.”

You head out and start the walk back to your apartment.

Back at the party

The boys are speechless. “How in the fuck did that work?” Mackie muses

“Guess its not that she’s doesn’t like athletes, she just didn’t want you” Luke laughs as he nudges Duke, who’s still staring at the front door.

“Legend” Mark says, as some of the junior guys make their way over. “Did Eddy just take a girl home?” Jacob says, and the boys relay the tale. “Alright! He’s got game.”

#ethan edwards #umich boys #umich imagine #ethan edwards x reader #blurb #jjwritesshit #hockey #umich boyos

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mega-punani · 1 year

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URAHHHHHHH Y/N AND THE BOISSSS:

A headcannon

(Also, cannaw draw again for some reason 😔)

Sans:

Napping is #1. He loves scooping you up and laying you on top of him. He'll do this on a hammock, bed, the floor, anywhere that he can get a good snooze in with you.

Mtfk will melt at the sight of you putting on his hat. It doesn't matter what context, just you with his hat fills him with butterflies. He just can't get enough.

He really likes hugging you. It grounds him and makes him feel like everything will be okay. It's even better if you hug him back. Maybe a lil kiss too~

Papyrus:

Will compliment you like crazy but gets extremely flustered when you do the same.

When you want to get up the crows nest, he carries you and acrobats his way up instead of grabbing the ladder. He likes it when you hang on to him or stuff your face into his shoulder.

Mans will kiss your hand like the gentleman he is and sweep you off your feet. (Literally)

Blue:

When he's wants to train, he'll straight up pick you up and perch you on to his cannon and run around. Sometimes, you make motor noises, and he thinks that it's super cute.

Blue likes fishing with you. He likes to rant about stuff and listens when you do the same. He thinks it's cute when you make expressions.

Will combust if you call him strong and handsome.

Stretch:

Mans will sing you the sweetest love longs when you two are alone and will give you the biggest heart eyes if you sing along.

When he's whipped, he's whipped. Dude will literally jump into the ocean for you. You saving him is just a perk.

Even though he's a little emotionless sometimes, he will write you the cutest, most heartwarming poems and letters. He only gives you the best, though. He's got hundreds stashed away somewhere.

Red:

Red is straightforward. When he thinks you're cute, then you're cute, and he's gonna say it as much as he can.

He likes flexing his strength and will ask you to sit on his back or weights when he's working out.

He'll call you all sorts of pet names when you help him fix up the ship. Every time you pass him anything, he'll give you a lovestruck grin.

Edge:

When you nag him, he thinks it's super sweet. He nags when he's taking care of the crew, so when you fuss over him, he feels loved.

Keeps an eye on you the most, even if you don't cause a lot of trouble. He's just worried... not that he'll tell you that anytime soon.

He loves staying up late with you. Sometimes, you fall asleep and lean up against him. He refuses to move because it would disturb you. This is also the only time he doesn't yell at anyone.

Razz:

Razz will shower you with beautiful clothes and jewelry. Sometimes, he waits for you to start the day first so he can pick a matching outfit. And then he'll act like it's some crazy coincidence.

It gets super sunny when you talk with him. Rainbows, soft breeze, fluffy clouds, the whole shebang. If you manage to say something that makes him really happy the clouds above you will look a lil to much like hearts.

When he blushes, he throws his hat in your face so you can't see his shame.

Cash:

Will steal things part of your morning/night routine (hairbrush/toothbrush/bonnet) just so you can visit him when you wake up and go to sleep. And he also thinks you're angry face is the cutest.

The MOMENT you lay your eyes on something in a town or city, it's yours. That funky top in the store window? Yours. That old ass book? You got it. That kid's balloon? He didn't need it anyway.

You make sure to grab him when you go into a populated area to keep him from taking someone's wallet. He can still most definitely steal.

Bear:

Mans will hunt you down so he can give you the first taste of a new recipe or a tasty snack, much to the complaints of the crew. He always finds you, and if your in the restroom he'll wait outside of it and scare the shit out of you.

You're the only one who he doesn't get mad at. You can literally break in his fridge in the middle of the night, and he won't even raise a hand. Instead, he'll probably fix you a snack and tuck you into bed. (You already know Red, Cash, and Blue use you as a shield for his wrath.)

When you're concentrating on something super hard, he'll feed you bites of your meal. He thinks it's cute that you don't even realize you're being fed. He also likes feeding you mid convo and watching you get slowly frustrated. He thinks it's funny.

Cinnamon:

If you thought Stretch was a simp, Cinnamon is a whole nother level. Cinnamon will literally pause mid battle just to run over to you to share a kiss.

Will do funny little dances with you to get you to cheer up or laugh. If he's feeling down, you need to simply pat his head once, and that man is already jumping around.

When his teeth pain is especially bad, he'll cuddle with you. He says he already feels better, but it's obviously a lie. If you get him some painkillers and tea, he'll cry in your arms about how you're the best thing that happened to him. You both spend the rest of the day comfortably mushed together, reading or talking.

#pirate au

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cyberphuck · 1 year

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Assassin’s Apprentice Abridged: Part Two

Read Part One (My friend Razz wants to understand my Farseer Trilogy shitposts but doesn’t want to have to actually read the books, so I decided to summarize them. This turned out to be much harder than I thought it would be! Here’s part two of ASSASSIN’S APPRENTICE: ABRIDGED!) When we last left our hero, Fitz was a little baby following an old man into a hole in the wall.

"Gosh, Chade," Fitz says, after a wholesome montage of him learning how to steal things and poison people, "I love hanging out with you. It sure is neato to have a friend. I get to do all sorts of pranks around the castle, and once in a while the King even calls me to his rooms to remind me I'm a tool of the Crown!"

"You know what would be really funny?" Chade asks, eyes alight with glee.

Jump cut to Fitz's Twilight-esque depressive episode. He lays in bed for days, staring at the wall, refusing to get up. Burrich comes up to his rooms to ask Fitz what the fuck is going on with him and assumes he's dying.

Fitz can't tell him that Chade asked him to steal from the King and he refused, because everything about Chade is a secret. Burrich doesn't know that Chade told Fitz that if he wasn't game to yoink something from Shrewd's chambers, that he could get the fuck out and never come back.

"Watch this, Shrewd! You can actually pinpoint the second when Fitz's heart rips in half!"

(Burrich tries to cure Fitz's ailment by introducing him to alcoholism. He's like ten.)

Sitting in his room alone and drunk, Fitz starts wailing. He cries and cries until Chade finally comes back down through the secret wall-door to hug him. "Me and Shrewd wanted to see if you were really loyal," he says. "So we traumatized you. We really wanted to introduce you to depression, alcohol, and abject betrayal at a young age and this was the quickest way to do it."

"I want my mommy," Fitz sobs.

"There, there," Chade says, drugging him and leaving.

Later, Fitz is summoned to speak to King Shrewd again, who explains that it was all his idea to give Fitz borderline personality disorder and absolutely does not apologize for it. Fitz takes a knife from the breakfast table in Shrewd's room, brings it back to Chade, and stabs it into the mantle above the fireplace.

I like to think that every time Fitz throws himself into needless danger for the next ten books, Chade looks up at that knife and goes "lol. lmao."

"Hey Lil Accident," says Head Scribemaster, "you're pretty good at writing. You wanna be my apprentice?"

"Gosh. I'd get to go places and do things," Fitz marvels. "And almost none of them would involve poisoning people!"

Chade Mission-Impossible drops from the ceiling and hangs above Fitz for long enough to tell him that no, he can't be a scribe's apprentice, for one thing he's already learning to be an assassin, and for another Fitz is kind of an important political tool, being a bastard of a Prince, and someone would definitely murder him.

"Sorry," Fitz tells the Scribemaster, "my uncle said no."

"But you can go down into town and buy some stuff for me, since you've been good," Chade says, reeling back up into the rafters.

Fitz jumps to his feet. "Oh, boy, social interaction! I haven't seen my hoodlum friends in a year! And you know who ELSE I haven't seen in a long time? MY MOM!"

He strides happily past a sad woman in the street wearing an anime mom side ponytail, completely ignoring her in favor of his old friend Molly Nosebleed, who goes by Molly Chandler now that her dad has stopped punching her in the face.

"You're the only girl I know, besides that hysterical woman over there screaming that I'm her son," Fitz says. "I think I have a crush on you."

"Neat," Molly giggles.

Lovestruck Fitz gathers his groceries and heads back up the road to the keep. Princes Verity and Regal ride by, carrying a banner that says "CHIVALRY'S DEAD. THE PRINCE, NOT THE CONCEPT. I MEAN THE CONCEPT IS ALSO DEAD, BUT THE MAIN POINT OF THIS MESSAGE IS THAT PRINCE CHIVALRY FARSEER HAS FALLEN FROM HIS HORSE AND"

Burrich shaves his head. And his beard. And his eyebrows. And his dog's hair. And Fitz's hair too, for good measure. Fitz, rubbing his new buzzcut, says "God, if you loved him so much, maybe you should have married him," and Burrich flings himself into the sea.

"We should be careful," Chade says, later. "Because Chivalry was probably murdered. Anyway, you're going on a road trip. tl;dr one of the dukes isn't properly manning the watchtowers that keep vikings from viking the coast, and Prince Verity has to go deal with it, and you're going with him."

"What's a teal deer?" Fitz asks.

Wandering around outside the castle later, Fitz runs into Shrewd's Fool with a capital F, the albino freak-child that cartwheels around in the King's wake all day.

"Oh no," Fitz says. "Are you lost, little freak child?"

"fjdaklfdafds," says the Fool.

"Come on little fella, I'm not gonna hurt you," Fitz smiles.

"FDAJKFDLALSDFAS," the Fool repeats, louder.

"Do you need an adult?"

The Fool steps up to Fitz, grabs him by the shirt, yanks him down to eye level, and says, "Fitz Fixes a Feist's Fits. Fat Suffices, you fucking beautiful dumbass."

Fitz stares at him.

"I thought you were too dumb to know how words worked," he says finally.

The Fool flips him off and cartwheels away.

"...Weird," Fitz mutters. "Whatever, time to go to NEATBAY! I hope I get to kill somebody!" On the way to Neatbay (in a riding party consisting of Prince Verity and like half the staff of Buckkeep), Fitz pals around with stableboy Hands, and meets Mysterious Old Person Lady Thyme, who is a person that sucks in every way possible.

Hands whispers to Fitz that everyone in Buck knows that Lady Thyme sucks and avoids her. Lady Thyme shrieks that you whippersnappers better not be liking yourselves up there!

Fitz and co. finally arrive in Neatbay. It's a walled city like the place in Attack on Titan, with concentric fortifications like an obstacle course that Vikings have never been able to Vike all the way past (this will not be important again until the next book). It's ruled by Lord Kelvar and his trophy wife and if Kelvar doesn't get off his ass and start manning the watchtowers Fitz might have to poison him to death.

They have dinner. Fitz hates rich people. He eyeballs everybody at the table.

That night before bed, Verity calls Fitz into his room. "What's going on with Lord What's His Face?" He asks the boy.

Fitz explains a very complex situation about how Lord Kelvar is clearly trying to impress his Young Hotness Wife with lots of jewels and shit and his Young Hotness Wife is trying to impress everyone else with her jewels and shit and meanwhile all those jewels and shit could be going to pay to man the watchtowers and the roads, and Kelvar has to take some pride in doing it or else he'll become embittered and...

"I'm going to tell Lord Kelvar to stop being a puss and man the watchtowers," Verity says, and turns over to go to sleep.

Fitz facepalms.

Late in the night, Fitz wakes up starving and ninja-sneaks down to the kitchens to grab a midnight snack. While he's there, a woman comes in with a little doggie wrapped in a blanket.

"My poor little doggie is dying," she sobs. "This type of dog is a small hunting dog called a 'feist,' by the way."

"Hack," says the dog.

"I think your dog is choking on something," Fitz observes, whipping out his stethoscope. "Yeah, there's definitely something jammed down there. Let's get it out. Hold your dog steady."

Fitz finds a long hook, slathers it in butter, and wiggles it down the dog's throat while the dog yowls and pees and scratches the Mysterious Blanket Woman. It takes a minute, but eventually he manages to dislodge a chicken bone from doggie's gullet and they all sit back, panting, while LeVar Burton comes onto the screen and lectures the audience about never letting your pets eat poultry or fish bones and the importance of limiting table scraps and keeping them on a healthy diet. Thanks LeVar!

"You saved my doggie's life," Blanket Woman says, and pulls back her blanket to reveal that she is actually Lord Kelvar's Young Hotness Wife! "I shall repay you in any way you wish."

"I'm thirteen," Fitz says.

"Any way you wish," the woman repeats.

Fitz scratches his head. "Oh! Tell your idiot husband to man the fucking watchtowers before you get Vikinged to death. I mean," he amends, "I had a prophetic vision that a strong and graceful trophy wife spread out her arms to protect the laaand wooooo~"

Then he goes back to bed.

...And is woken up YET AGAIN by a servant telling him that Lady Thyme is demanding his presence down in town.

Oh. Joy.

Fitz gets dressed, saddles up Sooty the horse, rides to the inn that Lady Thyme is staying at, knocks on the door. "I heard you're calling for me," he sighs. "Are you dying or something? Please say you're dying."

Chade opens the door. "Fooled you, boy," he cackles. "I am Lady Thyme! And we have to go to Forge right now."

"You made me empty out a pot full of your shit every single morning for five days," Fitz says.

"Get on your horse," Chade orders, and they're off.

"You know, I've never actually seen you outdoors before," Fitz says as they gallop down the coast. "It's-- are you snorting coke right now?"

Chade sneezes, wiping his nose. "Stay in school."

They ride hell-for-leather for Forge, a little town known for two things: iron exports and being raided by Vikings. They manage to get there twelve hours after the nick of time because Chade had to return some VHS tapes, and find little more than a completely burned-down village and some zombies.

"Chade, are those slow zombies like in Dawn of the Dead, or fast zombies like in the 2004 Dawn of the Dead remake?" Fitz asks, watching the zombies shambling around and fighting over pieces of rotten bread and pairs of pants.

"Run," Chade advises, and they do.

On the road out, they pass a bunch of non-zombie survivors moving all their slightly singed possessions to another town. Nobody wants to stay in a town infested with zombies, which the people of the kingdom start calling Forged people, or just Forged, because one of the rules of zombie movies is that none of the characters can say "zombies."

Over the course of the next few months, more and more people are kidnapped by Vikings and Forged, but no one can agree exactly what should be done about it.

And then one night, Fitz is picking his nose alone at a table in the kitchens when another mysterious woman approaches him…

#rote #assassin's apprentice #Fitzchivalry Farseer #robin hobb #aa abridged #farseer trilogy abridged

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synthetic-sonata · 1 year

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i just consumed so much sparklecare content and made an au of my oc pink . say hi to razzle (b) dazzle(d)! he is now everyone elses problem.

more info under da cut

he's very similar to uni in some ways, and that isn't intentional i've had pink for a WHILE. they would b good friends tho. i gave him mega-sads instead of ultra mega-sads ( normalest sentence ) just to differentiate. Bc i do not want ppl to call him a clone of uni they are very much diff people just with the same sort of outward flavor.

speaking of which he probably has more afflictions i just didnt know how to sparklecare-ify having ADHD and probable BPD. nor did i rlly want to make terms for it. likely has a physical affliction as well before coming to the hospital i just didn't know what to give him

he has two prosthetics! one prosthetic arm, one leg. yes, this obviously means those two limbs were removed from him somehow. most people assume and theorize the staff at sparklecare did this during a surgery, but... pink gets very dodgy about this topic and never answers it in a clear way.

due to him being very sociable and easy to get along with he's friends with most patients . sort of like a Hospital Celebrity. he's known and he's cool and he's chill so ppl like him.

also i'm not sure if it matters but the bro and scatterbrained art is pulled from the official website, which is prob obvious

his favorite holidays are palentines day and kissmas and its obvious. loves anything associated with love and that whole aesthetic.

either has the default rainbow armband or the ITP band ( he's usually pretty compliant .. mostly out of fear. he does and will join or help escape attempts sometimes tho )

sleeps a lot. possibly narcolepsy possibly just not that ( like. napping a lot or depression naps or naps bc hes dissociating and or understimulated. )

more traits that fit him that i couldn't fit in da sheet:

creative

he's often found doodling idly or singing and making music in his spare time. he's expressed a desire to become an idol or an actor in his future. ( referencing how canon pink/razz is an idol robot lol )

sleazy/flirtatious

honestly this one is a give or take but it's a trait he eventually has. he definitely flirts with people often and casually. whether or not he actually sleeps around is a give or take though because i can see it either way, but, probably. he has an Allure to him. and he's. hypersexual so i mean yea.

egotistical/self-absorbed

this one isn't super bad, but he hypes himself up a lot and compliments himself casually. it's mostly to make him feel better about himself... but he does sometimes put other people down in order to put him up. it's always jokingly, at least... mostly, but it can become a problem later down the line. it doesn't feel good to be called lesser to someone!

tech-savvy

he's probably edited videos and audio a lot. and is or wanted to be a streamer/youtuber.

outgoing/extroverted

outgoing and affectionate are sort of hand in hand for pink. although, he has a very high social battery.... somehow, and is always around people or talking to him. he's also pretty impulsive.

affectionate

sometimes overly so. he'll even be affectionate or call people nicknames who he really should be at odds with - this includes staff. he's incredibly chill with most of the staff, or at least seems to be... giving them all nicknames and talking with them as if they were casual friends ( they aren't ). or it's to annoy them. it's not really clear with razz, ever.

presumably, this is a bad way of coping with how shitty people treat him by acting as if they're his friends - or something.

sensitive ( if you told razzy you hated him or smth he'd take it super personally but he'd come off as not offended but he'd think about it way too much. surprisingly he doesn't do this with like threats. he's numb to threats almost entirely )

conflict avoidant ( mostly explained in chill but they prob should be separate things there just wasnt enough space lol )

soda/sweets junkie

juvenile

he casually swears a lot and says a lot of sex jokes or things like that. Very casually, once again.

dissociative

his response to anything traumatic is usually just being really zoned out and dissociative after - due to this people think he doesn't really have a proper response to trauma. he does! people just don't think the zoning out counts as one! he has others, but he tries to hide any other trauma response for when he's alone.

fear of hospitals/medical stuff/etc

surprisingly, this didn't happen after being admitted to sparklecare, but it very much didn't help. goes hand in hand with claustrophobia and a lot of other fears he won't admit to. he's gotten numb over time. it still messes with him badly, but that mostly shows in the form of him dissociating... or in rare cases, having a panic attack. he only really shows emotion when he's in very very bad mental health or alone. at the very least he has people to talk to - if he didn't, he'd likely have completely broken by now.

thats a lot of things and i could probably find more to describe him but yea. He should prob also be more saturated n simplified but ehhhhhh. My oc my funny my silly he gets to slightly bend rules cuz he isnt in the comic its fiiine.

( plus its kinda symbolic of how many people in universe would see pink as surprisingly mentally well-adjusted and fine considering the situation he's in, which reflects in him not being 100% saturated. but he is. it just doesn't show outwardly )

#aria doodlez #sparklecare hospital #sparklecare oc #sparklecare #pink #pink ( oc )#pink ( sparklecare )#eyestrain #eyestrain cw

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navidoll · 1 year

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please tell me more about wheelchair adora

So originally I found wheelchair Adora from a friend's fanfic

^ go read its vry good and gay

Anyway

So in this fic Adora becomes wheelchair bound from the aftereffects of the Heart, her body had a lot of strain put on it and her legs burn and give out from under her every time she tries to stand up. So she has a lil wheelchair to help her get around.

I really liked this idea so I went along with it, but I wanted to put my own spin on it, so now because of this ask I brainstormed with my friends to figure out a way that Adora became disabled, in my own au.

-content warning for panic attack description-

(Set during early season 4) So sometime in Brightmoon, everything is all find and dandy at dinner, and Adora is just gobbling up her food like she hasn't eaten in 2 years, before she starts having a coughing fit. It gets the attention of everyone at the table and people start getting concerned, and Adora excuses herself to go to the bathroom, but before she makes it to the door she promptly collapses and passes out.

Everyone is obviously freaking out, so Glimmer teleports her friend to the infirmary, where Adora ends up staying the night. Adora wakes up in lots of pain (poor bb) and the doctors run all sorts of tests on her and find out that she's been poisoned.

When Glimmer hears about this, she's very angry and collects all the cooks in Brightmoon to ask who did it. And surprisingly, someone answers. One of the new chefs admits to poisoning Adora's food on purpose, and they are soon fired, after a long discussion on why what they did was wrong. The chef told Glimmer they believed that Adora was still loyal to the Horde, and was trying to off her by their own means.

Back to Adora, she's in the infirmary for a few days before she's allowed to go to her own room to continue her treatment. Bow and Glimmer try to do everything they can for their ill friend, including sleepovers, trying to find ways to cure her poison, and even try magical healing. But nothing works, it only serves to worsen Adora's condition.

It's been a week and Adora is deathly ill. The poison has been in her system for too long and it's taken a toll on her body. She has bad nightmares and bags under her eyes, she's barely eaten anything in the past week, the nagging paranoia in the back of her brain telling her that someone is out to kill her. It doesn't help her mental health. She can't walk without help, and her limbs shake involuntarily at times. She's on strict bedrest. She-Ra has been doing her best to take care of Adora when her friends aren't there. Opting to cuddling, getting her water, and helping her walk and eat, and even bathing together.

Its been a rough week. She-Ra's worry for her friend only grows the worse her condition becomes. Until one day, something inside her remembers. Memories are hard to come by, so when She-Ra remembers Madame Razz has all sorts of medicinal herbs, she makes the descision of going out by herself to retrieve some.

She leaves a sweet note next to Adora's bed saying 'I'll be back soon, sweetheart. Keep the bed warm for me until I get back! <3' (Have I mentioned they're like a couple and use terms of endearment? But its like 'platonic' flirting and bantering, totally just friends) Adora reads it and blushes at the pet name, and cuddles her handmade She-Ra plushie.

She-Ra visits Razz and pretty much cries because she hasn't seen her friend in so long. They have a nice long hug and catch up a bit before she mentiones that Adora's been poisoned and is dying. Razz says to not worry and goes to her little shelf and grabs a few jars and mixes a few ingredients up in her little mixing bowl. She puts the mixture in a little baggie and hands it to She-Ra and gives her a warm smile. She-Ra holds the bag like her life depends on it. After a little more talking She-Ra thanks Razz and leaves to go back to Brightmoon. After inspecting the contents in the bag she recognizes it as tea. An old recipe that even she doesn't know.

When She-Ra gets back to the bedroom she notices Adora had fallen back to sleep cuddling her She-Ra plushie looking absolutely exhausted. She can't help but feel adoration for this girl. After standing there for a little too long looking at Adora, she goes to the tea nook next to the bathroom, and prepares some hot water. She puts the ingredients from the bag into a small tea strainer, and waits for it to seep into the hot water.

When the tea is ready, she gently wakes up Adora, smiling at her and saying 'Good morning, sleepyhead.' Adora gives her a weak smile, before looking what's in She-Ra's hand. She-Ra helps her sit up so that Adora can drink the tea at a better angle. Adora wordlessly drinks the tea and notices it had a slight bitterness to it, but its overall flavor is delicious. They sit and chat for a little, and Adora ends up drinking all the tea. She already feels better than she has all week. This stuff must be magic, she concludes.

Her eyelids fall closed, and they stay that way for a few weeks. Adora had fallen into a coma. And it worried all her friends, and the alliance. Adora had always been a key member at meetings and missions, it was strange to have her presence not be there. While Glimmer and Bow and the others were out fighting the Horde, Adora was in the infirmary, recovering from the poison in her system.

She-Ra had been by her side the whole time. She had nothing else to do, but she wanted to stay by her side. It was her duty to protect Adora. Even if she feels like she failed on that part.

When Adora woke up, her entire body was sore, but she felt a lot better. Her muscles didn't move on their own, she could sit up on her own, except-

She couldn't feel her legs, they didn't respond to her.

Adora's chest felt tight, and she spiraled at the implication alone. What will she do now? Can she even fight like this? Will her friends hate her for being disabled? Will they leave her? It was all too much for her, and she hyperventilated and screamed her lungs out. She-Ra was there to bring her back to reality, and comfort her like no one else could.

It wasn't the end of the world for Adora, but the news that she had permanent nerve damage to her lower half meant that she would never be able to walk again. It changed her life completely.

She soon got a wheelchair and when Bow and Glimmer saw her, she cried on the spot. She felt like a failure and a burden. They both gave her a hug and reassured her that everything would be okay, and she believed them.

If only things got better from there.

Anyway! I hope u enjoyed this little story, I'm definently going to be exploring it more and drawing more Wheeldora. She is everything to me. She-Ra takes care of her whenever she can but not to a suffocating degree, Adora still has her independence.

#trans adora rights #wheeldora #alternate universe #shedora #adora #she ra and the princesses of power #spop netflix

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razzek · 8 months

Text

Obligatory Pinned Post

Absolutely rad banner art by @cyberphuck

AO3 TheBraillebarian FurAffinity Razzek Patreon All Ages

Hi I’m Razz. I’m blind (yes really, before you ask look up what a screen reader is), an artist, a writer sometimes, too curious for my own good, and pretty nerdy. I don’t say much right now but if you want just the art and none of the chatter go to @razzekart Someday I might rewrite my blindness faq but for now there’s stuff in the “just blind things” tag.

I’m not very good at tagging things (this site is off and on a nightmare to use with disabilities) but if you need something tagged let me know and I’ll do my best. Alt text/image descriptions make my day, a sincere “thank you” to everyone who makes, uses, and adds them to posts!

Not currently in any fandoms but you may see me lurking around: Dragonriders of Pern, Metalocalypse, Spyro the Dragon, Legend of Zelda, Homestuck, and a bunch of odds and ends. I like rats, sphynx cats, dragons, bats, German shepherds, and nature in general.

I am: aro/ace, probably older than your dad, ADHD, some kind of furry, 404 gender not found, queer, don’t care what people write or draw but not a fan of anyone who thinks it’s okay to bully people over cartoons kissing. If any of that bothers you the block button is a click away. Life is too short to waste on things you hate (and the “friends” you made through hatred will devour you as soon as they run out of outsiders to torture). If you’re an anti or a terf I’ll block you to save us both the hassle; sorry you’re in a cult, it’s not my job to get you out, best of luck.

If you’re under 18 I’ll be blocking you. I’m sure you’re awesome, it’s nothing personal; I haven’t been paid to babysit and it’s not worth the potential legal trouble for me. We can hang out when you’re old enough to do drugs. Will also block if you display your age like some sort of honor badge, I’ve had nothing but bad times from that sort. I don’t care what your DNI says, I’ll block you for being the kind of asshole who demands obedience of strangers and lists their weaknesses for the real predators to take advantage of.

tl,dr:

Razz, blind, ace, older than you, queer, furry-ish (hairless rat)

cartoonist, writer, huge nerd, quiet with the occasional rambling post, open for asks, not as prickly as I seem

antis, terfs, aphobes/bigots, kids, people with DNIs need not apply (will be blocked)

#pinned post

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ducknotinarow · 2 years

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"Raph, hold up!" Leo's quick to grab the hothead's arm, hoping to stop him from getting any further. "Donnie's still our brother! We haven't lost him, remember? I'm asking you to THINK more about what you're about to do." ( for 2k3 dramamama ofc x3 )

| muse interaction

Raph had gone into blind rage before, unable to fully tell what he was doing, who he was around even, or where he was. Nearly taking his lash outs too far like nearly beating Mikey with a pipe. Everything went white, all he saw was red and left him nothing more than a blind seething creature of anger. This time though? Oh this time was worse. He was blinded by his anger but it wasn’t fuled by his rage it was the feeling of betrayal eatting away at him. Don was his brother! Fuck they may all fight or razz each other time to time but Raphael liked to think he showed he was there for them. But finding out Donnie had some truce? And even relationship with that lunatic Bishop? well maybe he wasn't sure sort of jumping to conclusions on his own end there. In the least aware they liked the guy in that way. But the real meat on the bone he need to pick with them was the simple fact Donnie didn’t tell him them about it. Fine sure that be hard to bring up to the family but he was going behind their backs this whole time! Raph was on a rampage through out the lair, kick down anything and everything that managed to get in his way. No room was off limits as he started to look around for Donnie, even busting into Leo’s bedroom. He didn’t give a tiny rats ass having gone about tearing Leo’s room apart in case Don was hiding in there somewhere, somehow. Ranting about what he just found out to the eldest. When he found no trace of Donnie though he huffed and hissed under his breath turning away ready to move on to the next room.

“Raph, hold up!”

Raph paused as Leo grabbed on to his arm, didn’t do much to clam him but it was enough to get him to stop moving at least. Letting his shoulders lift up and down as he was breathing heavily. Willing to listen to his brother..well maybe he was seeking out attetion for a reason. After all he knew well enough that Donnie wasn't likely going to be in Leo's room. It was a bit of an excuse to bring this to Leo's attetion. Raph couldn't wrap his head around the idea in the slightest. Donnie made a truce fine he could understand that part and a truce with that freak Bishop would be good for them especially but he was in love with the guy? He did say anything g about any of this to no one? Especially him? That hurt. If he were honest least to himself. Maybe towards Leo?

"Donnie's still our brother! We haven't lost him, remember? I'm asking you to THINK more about what you're about to do."

Lost him? That idea hadn't once crossed Raphs mind till Leo worded it themself. Was that what was happening? Were they losing Donnie to that looney? He slightly jerks her shoulder out from under Leo's hand. Arms crossing over his plastron as he turned to look at Leo a bit "brothers don't lie, and sneak behind each other's back not about this sort of thing Leo!" Raph voiced, maybe Leo would catch what he was trying to get at trying to say. Raph wasn't excstly going to out right word what he was feeling no he would let the temper speak instead. Eyeing Leo's face lookong for anything. Something, that showed how they were feeling or taking this. But fuck they were hard to read and it was passing him off hiw hard it could be to see what Leo was thinking or feeling je was good at the poker face when he had to be serious.

"what did you know?!" Raph accused suddenly, his voice raised as he did. "Ain't you possess? Worried even?! Did you head what I said? Don's out there making goo goo eyes with the fucking enemy Leo!" He repeated as he threw his hands up into the air now. "And yet you wanna worry about what I might do to him? What if he's getting tricked? Being played? What if we find out brother dead!?" There's a slight crack well he speaks. He clicks his tounge against his teeth and turns to look off to the side finding a spot on tje floor to focus on. Arms falling at his sides as he stand there still seething in rage.

"What dose he not trust us?" Dose he not trust me? He wanted to voice, but he didn't need to feel excluded in this mess.

#muse| hamato raphael #[2003 verse]#forthehonorandtheglory #[ if only i could i'd swap our places be runnin up that hill forthehonorandthegorly]#muse interaction #stay qeued #((Leo just in his room minding his own business till Raph stormed in u-u))

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aidenoconnell · 2 years

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the spins.

Aiden must sit in his car for ten minutes and stare at the steering wheel after he closes up the shop. He feels like a shell of himself, too spooked to even move or anything because he think he might incinerate. Thing is, he is thankful that Vic told him because maybe that’s better than the three worst things that could happen. God, his head feels like it’s off its axis.

When he finally decides to leave, he goes to Siobhan. It’s not that he’s running away from his home or the beach, he needs to sort his head out. Siobhan lives in one of the small villas on the other side, still near the water but more in the neighbourhood. It’s quaint, good enough for her because she’s just as independent as Aiden is. And right now she may be the only one to get what’s going on inside his head.

When Aiden was thirteen and Siobhan was eleven, some guys wouldn’t leave her alone at school because she was taller than everyone in her class. Being a tall girl wasn’t a good thing apparently. So Aiden told them to shut up or else and well, the or else came pretty quick and Aiden had to sit in the principals office for the next two days doing his work there. Then in high school, roles were reserved when a few guys on the lacrosse team liked to razz Aiden about being lanky. Shiv one day had enough of it and well, somehow her iced coffee ended up all over Marc Linley’s face.

They’ve always got each other’s backs.

“So now what?”

Aiden peels the label off the beer bottle, shrugging his shoulders. “Maybe I should have believed she was coming back.”

Shiv turns on the couch and shakes her head. “But it wasn’t guaranteed. Twice was lucky but you didn’t know. When she decided she was coming here she should have told you this time. Last year was cute but this is different now.”

She partly means Jules, but mostly means things in general have shifted in life. Aiden gets it.

“Did she actually see you and Jules?” Shiv asks, taking a sip of her own beer.

“Kian thinks that’s what he was picking up on,” Aiden says. “He is a good judge of character.”

Siobhan nods at looks out the window nearby, frowning when her eyes move back to her brother. Quietly she sighs as she begins to figure out how to fix this but she’s unsure of what the solve is. “Do you want to see her?”

Why does that question feel like it’s the end all be all?

#beachpara 15: the spins

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mementofloreo-archived · 2 years

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@viisiond || ❝ i know you��ve been having a shit time so i brought some food. ❞ Kaeya, for Nettle

Nettle jolts at Kaeya’s voice. And immediately he sniffs and scrubs at his face with the sleeves of his sweater, clearing away the tears he’s been silently shedding for...a while? He lost track of time.

His eyes are still puffy and red rimmed, his face blotchy and flushed. His whole body is shaking a little.

He hates people to see him crying like this. Truly bereft, distraught, wordless and shuddering. Or when he gets into blank and apathetic moods and can’t manage to do much but stare at the wall vacantly for hours on end, when he’s so exhausted by the mere act of existing that he doesn’t want to get out of bed for two days.

The cracks, the chips, the faults left by the harrowing childhood he lived. Or maybe it’s more accurate to say that he simply survived it. (Maybe it would be fair to say he never really had a childhood at all).

Nettle has made friends in Monstadt now. Several fellow guild members who he works with regularly. Lisa, the Favonius Order’s librarian. And of course Kaeya(and the rest of their friday night drinking buddies). Nettle probably feels most at ease around him. But all the same, he hasn’t talked much about his childhood prior to being adopted by his sisters.

He shambled his way out here near Starfell Lake early this morning as if it was a normal day. He’d gather herbs, take some notes on the current soil and flora quality in the area, whatever. But he’s mostly been wandering listlessly between periods of sobbing like this. Everyone thinks he’s just off on solo work, he always cleans his face of any signs of tears before going home.

It’s the middle of the week, and Nettle has logged all his tasks and hours the same as he always does. Kaeya is normally very work focused, and nothing else crosses his mind until he’s off duty. So why- how- is he here?

...Ned thinks he could probably roll himself into an empty grave trying to figure that out. Whatever weird information gathering superpowers Kaeya has are something he’ll never understand.

But still. He’s here. And his face is...sort of soft. Not all gooey or forlorn, just...well, some of that usual teasing glint is missing.

“Startled me there,” Nettle finally croaks. Kaeya’s taking a seat next to him and handing him a dish- Nettle can smell the aroma of northern apple stew.

“I- I am overdue to eat, though, I guess.” his voice is quiet and weak, “So thanks...this is really- it’s really sweet of you.”

He snuffles again and focuses his eyes on his soup. Tries not to think about the little bit of flush creeping into his cheeks. The way he feels a little warm over all this. Kaeya somehow noticing he wasn’t feeling well. Kaeya taking the time to actively track him down out in the woods just to bring him one of his favorite meals.

“Kinda...k-kinda overkill though, don’t you think?” a watery laugh escapes him. “I mean aren’t you supposed to be in the middle of work? How’d you find the time to even know I was- and track me down, even...you could have just caught me after work or something.”

He’s been taking a few bites during all that. “Not that- I mean, not that I’m not grateful. Or not happy to see you. I’m not- not trying to chase you off.”

“I have been having kinda a shit time of things,” Nettle says slowly, “But it’s- well, it’s a depressive episode, that’s what it is. I’ll feel a little better by the end of the week, probably. I just need to take some time and be by myself at the start of these things. And I’m- am I babbling?”

He sighs. “Ugh, whatever.”

A few moments of silence and then Nettle speaks very softly. “Thank you, Kaeya. Really.”

“For noticing.” he continues, “I’m pretty well accustomed to...well, not being noticed.”

“But it makes me happy that you do. I know I razz you a lot, but it’s only because I...feel at ease around you. Like I can relax. I can let my sense of humor show around you, crowded places feel less intimidating with you there.”

“And you’re a huge dork,” Nettle chuckles, “You always manage to make me laugh. Being around you is fun. ...And, uh, I’m babbling again. I’m going to focus on this stew before it gets cold.”

He’s flushed to his eartips now, but he pointedly avoids looking at Kaeya. Eat your damn food, he tells himself, and get some pesticide for those dumb butterflies you’re feeling.

#「He’s soft to the touch ║ But frayed at the ends‚ he breaks」[Nettle]#viisiond #「And sing for me softly love your song for tomorrow」[Nettle🎔Kaeya;viisiond]#NETTLE OUT HERE CRUSHING. OUT HERE PINING. OUT HERE YEARNING. GAY LIL MOTHER FUCKER

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romijuli · 2 years

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HELLO I am tossing you a card to talk about an OC (or multiple OCs) of your choice >:D

oh oops i forgot to reply to this. too busy figuring out what oc to do.

ACTUALLY since i've been thinking about them nonstop, i'm gonna talk about my tmm ocs that have existed for like six wholeass years. back when the reboot was just a dream...anyway i love these kids i'm gonna shove razz in a locker.

also tsu i have NO clue if you've watched/read tokyo mew mew so if you haven't this is gonna make like no sense. whoops. (go watch it it's good) (or at least read that one post where i ranted about how funny the love interest is i love him)

OKAY so. fuck what were my notes. basic premise is that this takes place in an au where the original series' villains were like a scouting party that everyone rEFUSED to listen to back home ("uh hey yeah this is a bad idea they kicked our asses and kinda stockholm-syndromed our boss? also they're kinda cool ngl" "fuck you we're invading anyway") and now there are like. a LOT of aliens. and thus a lot of mew teams. it's an ongoing problem with the expected outcomes (which is to say sometimes people die). this is an abbreviated version it's fine who cares.

SO THE CHILDREN. if you're curious they don't have to be all girls it's just kinda how they spawned. presented in approximate join order also not including the characters who aren't on the team when the story is going. extra reblog either later tonight or tomorrow because this is a bit of an unreliable narrator situation?

Melanie Rasley (Mew Raspberry, or Razz for short; grabbed her codename from her surname hehehe) is the team's de facto leader, in that she's been here the longest and the last leader trusted her to be responsible. (Horrible decision, Cocoa.) Pink! Got DNA from the Danube Crested Newt apparently! Fights with a mace! Kinda what you'd expect from a team leader in a magical girl series; bubbly, maybe a bit clumsy, but determined to do what's right and keep her city safe from both the invading aliens and whoever on their team is working against them! ...or so she presents herself, anyway.

Sarah Brighton (Mew Blueberry, or Blue for short! her hair was dyed blue when she joined) is the team's second-in-command, not because she's dating Razz (though she is) but because she's one of the more responsible team members. Got DNA from the Halmahera Blossom Bat, which means she gets sweet bat wings! I gave her a sword for reasons that even past!Chel doesn't remember! But honestly I trust her with that. Usually found keeping the rest of the team in line.

Evelyn Britt (Eve for short, or you can call her Mew Plum. She just liked that idea.) god her notes are so small. Actually the oldest of the group, though her temper would have you believe otherwise. Got DNA from the Wattled Guan, which past!Chel informs me is a bird of some sort. Fights entirely fisticuffs which is honestly the outcome I was hoping for when I went back to read these notes. As stated, she's pretty hot-headed and very stubborn, which are actually pretty solid qualities for a magical girl in these situations to have.

Cecilia Emerson (Mew Cotton Candy, though you should call her CC!) has my FAVORITE design because I picked her designated food on the idea that i could give her afro puffs. Also she has two theme colors because she deserves it. Got DNA from the Black-Footed Cat, which means she gets kitty ears and a tail, but doesn't explain how she fights with a fluffy fan. (Wind magic?) She's the youngest on the team; actually, she's technically younger than any respectable Mew team would normally allow (she's 13 and they prefer Mews to be 16+), but they made an exception for her. Sometimes Razz complains that she's not taking it seriously, since she's usually the one trying to drag the rest of them into Fun Bonding Time, but CC's plenty mature.

Kaylee Merill (Mew Kale! Wonder where she got her name) is the newest member, recruited to fill the gap left by their former leader (a Career Mew who got sent to help rebuild a team elsewhere). Got DNA from the African Wild Dog, so she got dog ears and a tail! (Chel Fact: tiny!Chel's tmm-sona got this one too <3) Kinda nervous due to being the newbie and also just general anxiety, but definitely eager to help out, especially since she's a bio nerd and generally fascinated by the science going on with the Mews. Unfortunately, this does kinda make her suspicious while everyone tries to figure out who's causing problems behind the scenes...

#thank GOD for astra finding these the other day #...that was like two weeks ago #i need a tag for these guys hang on #chel mews #there we go!

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the-firebird69 · 2 months

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It seems very basic but there's a lot of people who are not paying attention and you cannot just sit there and run someone into the ground and their own people are telling you no we'll do this and you get stuff it's not what life is all about and you're really not listening to anybody not even yourselves it's terrible now you have to move but that's what's really going on is what Mac outlined the empire is looking to duck a little no they're looking to take it on because the foreigners up in their face so they can have them go back and forth a little and that's how they do it and our son was right on the money now we have some announcements and we're going to make some now

-people are heading out they're evacuating, they're moving fast, they've got huge loads of stuff with them some of them. And they can't really tolerate it they end up tossing it out at rest areas and it's a lot of stuff mostly it's not very useful true. It's not worth much money but some of it is but still people are scavenging it and they move on if that stuff is not good do not bring too much stuff with you if it's not essential don't bring it with you if you bring some pots and pans some dishes some cops some towels and one waffle iron that's great but let's not make a big deal out of this unless you have a big truck there's other people on the road and you should be considerate trying to sell the stuff before you leave people are buying things because they're staying here tons of yard sales that would be great a huge numbers of them pretty soon we hear it too it's it's a great idea Woody harrelson put stuff out there in 5 minutes most of it's gone I mean really it took a few hours but all that left the same day he put it out.

-I have an idea what I'm doing for and he knows about it so we are continuing in that vein and he knows he said it sort of we are also experiencing people trying to take things and we don't want you doing that if you take things you're going to go to jail possibly prison and possibly incinerator

-do not encourage your son to steal it's called entrapment and the cop there is in trouble and it was Dan AKA Dave and they said he's going to be sued now he was saying our son would and he said I'm not the one who's getting sued you're going to get off the force and the police approached him and told him not to do that and they saw him help place it and actually he is going to get arrested for it definitely warrants out now and he's using our son he's snickering and he's adjusted dick he's a little kid now and you get critically injured a lot and we need people who don't do that all the time it's ridiculous it's not cover anymore it's harmful same with Trump and cheesman

-during this move a bunch of your leaders are going to disappear. We suggest you ride together and come back together and stop your shenanigans if you don't you're going to die and the max said it too you're sitting ducks and you just blab and say we can't get you it's ridiculous

-there's other things to talk about our son is a strange by his immediate family Ken has admitted his bum I'm just some other things too he cannot be Frankie lupena he is more or less openly gay he can be related to him and that would be fun because this guys will start pretending more and he'll make more money they're kind of boneheads and he's out in California. And our son says it's bringing it close there's a few reasons to do it but in this case it's very important

-and there's a couple other things we don't have time for but we need to stop bothering him and razzing him and harassing him following him around telling him and just sitting there all day staring you don't even see him and you're you're idiots we need you out of here walk around with s*** in your pants all the time your crap ass bastards and I don't want to be mean but you have to leave you've been asked every day for two years

-with that said some things seem to be happening for him so he's turned into this hyperspas but really pulled on us could not carry it didn't have the backing and most cases they reduce the bond to less than the asking amount and Trump has only 35 minutes and we don't know if he's placed it that's what our son says but it's not that hard you just deposit it like a bid now there are other things happening

-the pseudo empire is going to be under attack and all over the world by the warlock and the morlock is dwindling they are actually dwindling there a huge number of them on the Eastern hemisphere going to battle right now over the bunkers and stashes and caches it's a bit more than we said but it's still a huge number they are going in and they are going to try and take all the stuff out they're also going after the bunkers all of them and we said 1% no it says 0.5%, and that's what it is no it's going up to 0.78% and it's probably going to hit 1% and that's huge The invasion for us is 1% and it's going up and it's at the borders and people think they're nuts because they are we're leaving why are you going there and it's kind of simple they're leaving they have to come and try and take over but now they're telling them not to and they're still doing it so those things are happening the pseudo empire is moving in and it's taking over but they are being attacked everywhere and they are going out to these guys they're going after these guys and they're doing it now there's some things you should be aware of all over the world that these guys don't get along and they really don't try but they don't oh don't be fooled also our son has an ax and his ass is kind of lame but that's kind of the best thing to be but his act is really not that great he says stuff and you should not say stuff looks of people wrong on purpose fights with them and you shouldn't do it but he's threatening us to do the job a little bit and himself and when you act like that you're a big like him sometimes to back down with him they do because he's a very intelligent inventor. So we're going to knock the s*** out of him before he's doing now. And further they don't respond to discipline much here there's a couple things to announce though

-we have a breakthrough regarding funding and there's some other things too they're saying he needs to have money to move it's going all over the place and it is becoming big very big those people all over the world saying it but they're actually trying to do things out in California they're being harassed to death I like their own people and really they should be listening and they listen to certain way and they're saying it over and over and they're going to try and get him some stuff and see if we see what happens and see what it's like and from over there to play more luck and stuff and it's not stupid it's good it's smaller money but he needs anything he can get he has debt and he has bills and worry and no cushion no moving money this has been going on for a long time it's like a standoff and the max have been saying it is and they are losing now they're dying and still will not do anything no they're starting to change what they're doing and they're trying to be proactive and people just sitting there. But it's positive

-who saw several people pick up the phone today we saw it and they are telling them to write a check so we shall see if we can get here you might have to hand it to Mac and they said this boy that's true but it's good saying it through or trying to and if they kick it out they'll probably kick it back so we say this they really don't have a right to but that is what they're doing and they might try and do it but there's some big teams on it now and the empire ran his stereo up there and ran it through their system to grab a whole bunch of them

-there's other stuff going on we are in receipt of threats from all sorts of people and they want stuff and then we don't do anything and they go out and get it and think it works and they're stupid so that's fun

-also we do see that people are threatening right now and there's still there dumb talk but we have an answer for that coming up you are facing down some really big parties and you're not doing any facing down

-besides what's going on today with people trying and might actually work there's some issues with how this place is run I don't want to say anything no I do it's definitely illegal and wrong and mean. This whole town is a bunch of mean people you're getting fired and across the board the pseudo empire they're getting fired too and replaced by Max and people that look like them and foreigners and you're not taking it well and you're not doing the job this is a deciding time right here if you don't do the right thing we simply have to move on and we've been saying you're not today some changes are occurring the empire is helping a little and it's going to be a parallel and mac and her son have been doing it forever the parallel. And then Arnold sees a lot of it. And there's more

-after this we will allow comments but now we have to get through announcements we have a few other people shining in and mac and others and some Max for real have some items to announce

Is a long post

Thor Freya

Olympus

Hera Zues

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cyberphuck · 1 year

Text

ROYAL ASSASSIN ABRIDGED: PRELUDE

My friend Razz wants to understand my shitposting about the Farseer Trilogy, but doesn't want to actually have to read the books, so I'm summarizing them for them (and you)!

Read previous entries

LAST TIME, ON DRAGON BOOK Z: Fitz is a bastard who knows telepathy and talks to animals. He's taught to be an assassin, then goes up to the mountains on a mission and completely fails at it. His uncle tries to kill him. His OTHER uncle gets married.

CAST OF CHARACTERS (holy shit there are so many characters in this book)

THE FARSEERS

Six Duchies royal family, of which several members are now dead. This will include Farseers-by-Marriage (Dead or head-exploded characters will have their own category).

FitzChivalry Farseer: The POV character, Prince Chivalry's bastard. Loyal as a K-Pop stan who still has a BTS McNugget meal preserved in their freezer. He possesses both the Skill (Professor X telepathy) and the Wit (Dr. Doolittle animal chats).

Prince Verity: Currently King-in-Waiting, a lifelong second-in-command who was suddenly thrust into a leadership role when his older brother fucked off to be assassinated. Recently married, super strong in the Skill, does not ask for consent before mind-molesting Fitz.

Queen Kettricken: Recently married to Verity, she came all the way from the Mountain Kingdom to clean up Buckkeep and be miserable because she's used to doing Crossfit in the snow and now she has to sit and pretend to laugh at other people's jokes.

Prince Regal: The sneaky, moustache-twirling evil younger half brother of Verity. He killed like four people at Verity's wedding and tried to murder Fitz with a hot tub, and they just sort of let him get away with it.

King Shrewd: The current king, currently pretty old and afflicted with some kind of wasting disease. Fitz is technically bound to him by a pact he made as a child, but they both kind of ignore that most of the time.

Chade: King Shrewd’s older half-brother on the wrong side of the sheets. An assassin. Lives in the walls. Has a weasel. Came out of the wall into Fitz's room and taught him how to be an assassin. Sort of a father figure, but the kind that yells at you to hold the flashlight steady while he works on the car.

Patience: Chivalry’s widow. Helicopter-parents Fitz whenever he comes within fifteen feet of her. The ADHD champion of the Six ooh is that a book on rare ferns?

NOBLES

Duke Brawndy: Duke of Ripplekeep, a pretty stand-up dude. Father to Celerity and member of the Fitz Fan Club.

Lady Celerity: Has a big ol' fourteen-year-old crush on handsome, virile Fitz. She's pretty okay for someone who was named after a vegetable you put peanut butter on.

Duke Kelvar: Remember him? He finally manned his fucking watchtowers at Neatbay. Fitz fanclub member. Husband to Lady Grace, his young hotness wife whose dog Fitz pulled a fish bone out of.

CASTLE AND STABLE FOLK

Burrich: Fitz's primary father figure, the kind that takes you to football games and Hooters to try to flush the Gay out of you. Stablemaster of Buckkeep, and also has the Wit. Used to be heterosexual life partners with Prince Chivalry. Took several blows to the head last book and seems to be okay.

Hands: Fitz's stablehand friend. He's been relegated to background character.

Lacy: Patience’s serving woman and bestie. Makes lace, nods indulgently and will stab you.

The Fool: Albino freak-teenager with a special interest in cryptids and making up rhymes about farting. King Shrewd's jester.

Justin: Part of the Skill Coterie. Hangs out with Serene most of the time, card-carrying member of the Fitz Sucks and Smells Bad club.

Serene: The only female member of the Skill Coterie. Treasurer of the Fitz Sucks and Smells Bad club.

Carrod: Local fop and member of the Skill Coterie. In this book he mostly sneers at Fitz and says cringe things while everyone else is trying to work.

Burl: Part of the Skill Coterie... is Burl even in this book? I can't remember. Less dumb than you think he is.

Will: Part of the Skill Coterie. Hangs out in shadows and stares fixedly at people.

Molly Chandler: A candlemaker and servant who wants to go back to being a candlemaker. Girlboss. Fitz would buy her bathwater.

Rosemary: Kettricken's page. She's just a little girl. So cute. What's she doing? Oh, she's coloring. Aww.

Wallace: King Shrewd's servant and sometimes healer. One time the Fool calls him Wall's-ass.

Bolt: A guardsman who shows up at the end of the book to punch Fitz repeatedly in the face. I only mention him here because he shows up in the next book as well.

Blade: An older guardsman, Fitz fanclub member.

ANIMALS:

Cub/Nighteyes: A wolf soul-bonded to Fitz. Talks in italics. Possesses the single braincell out of everyone in the entire series.

Sooty: Fitz’s horse. Best mare, perfect cinnamon roll and can do no wrong.

Vixen: Burrich’s dog. Good dog.

Slink: A weasel belonging to Chade.

OTHER NOTABLES:

The Red Ship Raiders: Mongolian Vikings who have been Viking their merry way up and down the coast, burninating villages and kidnapping people to be Forged.

Forged people: Zombies. It's a tiny bit more complicated than that, but you don't find that out for another like, six books, so: they're zombies.

Lady Thyme: A horrible old woman who is really Chade in disguise. The Elderlings: Who are they? What are they? No one knows.

DEAD PEOPLE:

Chivalry: Dead from probably assassination.

Queen Desire: Regal's mom, dead from drug use but Regal THINKS it was assassination.

Rurisk: Dead from poisoning by Regal.

Cobb: Dead from stab by Fitz.

Galen: Dead from Skill-explosion by Verity.

August: Okay he's not DEAD, but Verity Skill-megaphoned him and he went to live on a farm upstate.

Smithy: Went back to his home planet after Cobb hugged him and told him he was a good boy.

Nosy: Went back to his home planet after saving Fitz from dying in a hot tub.

MAGICS (I know magic is not a character, but they do have to be explained somewhere)

The Wit: The ability to “bond” with certain animals and speak with them, as well as sense life force and to do a kind of mental shove at people. You tend to act a little like the animal you’ve bonded to. Witted people are considered gross and animalistic and are run out of town or put to death.

The Skill: Telepathy. Considered the “birthright” of the Farseers. Most people can sense it at least a little, but it takes inborn talent and a lot of careful training to do anything useful with it. Skilling apparently feels awesome but if you give in to the temptation to fully open yourself to it you can get sucked out of your own brain.

NEXT TIME: Part one of Royal Assassin Abridged!

#rote #Fitzchivalry Farseer #robin hobb #ra abridged

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ezlebe · 2 years

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Umm, OP, idk if you're still taking tomgreg requests, but like "Greg meets Tom in Minnesota who famously had a fling with Shiv Roy, but that never went anywhere".

(Also, I'm really adoring your writing. Thank you for sharing those on here)

“Not to be a totally rude bastard, but what exactly are you doing there?” Tom, as he’s supposedly called, says while turning on Greg with a crooked smirk and a jerk of his head toward the hockey game on the screen above them. “Your head is hiding the game.”

“S-sorry,” Greg says, hunching back further, glancing up from and then back to his phone, currently a wall of grey words about how he had better do this one thing right. He doesn’t even remember why he came on this trip – the experience is… currently not worth it.

Tom snorts through his nose, mouth twisting into a weird smirk. “I’m just razzing, man, but you are kind of close,” he says, pointing down at the spare few inches of space between their seats, where Greg had sort of violated that unspoken social contract not to take the stool right next to a stranger when there were about ten other empties in the mostly vacant bar. “Are you… going for something here?”

“No, I – Uh.” Greg wets his lips. “Yeah, well. I, um… I’m kind of…” He swallows hard at Tom’s slowly raising brow, something about the unwavering attention suddenly making his face flush hot. He reaches up at tucks his hair behind a burning ear. “To be entirely honest, sir, I’m supposed to make sure you keep – uh, away? Like watch you?”

“Watch me - ? What?” Tom repeats, glancing around the bar, then back to Greg, raising a single brow high up his forehead. “For who? Who do you work for, some kind of – oh. Oh.” He scoffs hard, picking up his drink to take a small sip, then pointing his fingers around it. “When you see her again? Remind her that acting this way is just emphasizing that I won.”

Greg feels his nose curl. “I – uh, I probably won’t do that.”

Tom flattens his mouth slightly, glancing across the bar again, then his eyes pause and narrow toward the far end where Greg knows Shiv is with her… client, or whatever, potential candidate boss? “I can’t be the only reason she’s suddenly got such a big bodyguard, though – she in trouble?”

“Bodyguard?” Greg repeats, blinking rapidly, then hurriedly shakes his head while awkwardly rubbing his hands together. “Uh, no – I, I’m just her cousin.”

Tom offers a rolling shake of his head. “Wow.”

Greg reaches out and taps at the edge of his beer. “Sorry… again, uh. You weren’t like supposed to notice me.”

Tom offers a plainly bewildered look, eyes sweeping up and down Greg with a slow tilt of his head. “Uh-huh. What’s your name then, other than Roy?”

“It’s – uh, just Hirsch, actually?” Greg says, feeling his mouth twist and scratching at the side of his neck. “Greg Hirsch.”

“Greg, good to meet you,” Tom repeats, then sticks out a hand with his elbow thunking across the bar. “Tom Wambsgans.”

Greg hesitantly reaches out and takes it, officially meeting Tom with a solid shake. “You, too.”

“So what sweet things did Siobhan say about me?”

“Not like a lot – almost nothing?” Greg says, glancing over his shoulder and thankful to see her back to him; she had mostly just told him to come over here and make sure Tom doesn’t see her, or she’d send him home like a – a little kid, or something, back to Kendall. “I don’t even really know how you know her.”

Tom’s eyes roll hard. “We’re exes.”

“Oh…” Greg feels a little disappointed, dumbly, “So your, uh – the breakup was bad?”

“It wasn’t great, no,” Tom says, cocking a brow with a turn of his head that's probably to make some point of Greg sitting next to him. “I am insulted you don’t know about it, but the fact she thought you did is enough.”

Greg slowly drops his head. “Right…”

“Hey,” Tom says, turning on the stool to face solely toward Greg, rather than at all at the game above them. "Look it up."

“What?”

“The whole thing is on the Internet,” Tom says, spinning his fingers at Greg’s face-down phone on the bar. “Here – I’ll buy you another drink for the price of losing some respect for your cousin. What do you want – what is that?”

“Uh, well,” Greg glances down at his beer, then shrugs with a short bite inside his cheek - he should probably not be talking to Tom, but Shiv told him to keep him away and he is keeping him away? “Molson?”

Tom laughs in a loud bark. “Molson? Isn’t that a little cheap for a Roy?”

“Uh, maybe,” Greg says, furrowing his brow and glancing at the beer, then picking up his phone with a shrug. “I’m not really from that part of the family – my grandpa doesn’t believe in, like… materialism, sort of. Or something.”

Tom flags down the bartender with a point at Greg’s glass, mouth pinching with a tut. “Huh.”

Greg wets his lips and looks down at his screen, scrolling past any vaguely- Waystar links upon the search of Tom and Siobhan Roy, confirming that Tom’s last name is spelled only sort of like how it’s sounds, and tapping a random PGM article. He starts reading, mouth pinching and brows slowly going up, “Oh, uh. Wait, you weren’t like even here - like, in the US?”

“China,” Tom says, exhaling a huff and suddenly affecting a low, mocking tone. “We agreed on ‘long distance’.”

Greg glances up as the bartender begins to pour another can into his glass on the bar. “Oh.”

“But then she wanted to sleep with anyone she wanted to, too – ethical-non-monogamy, to quote – but I didn’t… feel good about the lifestyle,” Tom continues, almost perfectly in sync with where Greg is in the article. “We broke up. The actual problem came when she got me fired; I sued, obviously, then she tried to counter-sue me for harassment and leaked some of the texts, as you’re reading, but then she had to drop it when I released all of our history to the court and to PGM. I did - do regret a lot of that, considering how her dad must have reacted to some of it, but it is what it is."

“That does sound like – like very her,” Greg muses, scratching at the side of his nose with his thumb, then clicking back, then onto another article, only to blink at an edited mention of Tom’s new, and presumably present, position. “PGM hired you?”

Tom hums low, picking up his glass to finish the dregs with a clink of ice. “Much later. Unrelated.”

Greg pauses at a few beats, then scrolls, only to pause with his thumb lingering over Shiv’s three-year-old text Tom that she could cut out men, and he could do the same but with women, as if that makes it any less of a bid for non-monogamy. He wets his lips, taking a long sip of his beer, then clears his throat by while looking over at Tom. “You, uh – you enjoy the company of other men?”

Tom is quiet for a few beats, then leans over his empty drink to set his chin into a hand. “Is that a problem, Mr. just-Hirsch?”

Greg wets his lips, feeling his ears burn at the marked drop in Tom’s voice. He swallows another gulp of his beer. “Uh, no. Nope.”

“Nope?” Tom says, voice lowering further, as something noticeably shifts in the way he’s looking over at Greg, more similar to when he first started talking to him. “That’s interesting.”

Greg hums a pitchy pair of notes, dropping his eyes back down and staring to, but not reading, the screen. He rubs under his nose with his knuckles, pretending to scroll with his other hand, and peeks back up for a split second to Tom, only to immediately look back down. He doesn’t think Shiv would like approve of this… potential direction of development, but it’s been years and – and Tom is like sort of a fox? He’s got to be allowed.

And what could she even do, if he isn’t – un-cousin him?

“What do you do, then?” Tom asks, while reaching up to scratch against the side of his jaw, then drop his hand back to the bar. “Aside for play privacy barrier for your family.”

“Oh, I - I kind of work as mostly Jess’ assistant – ” Greg shakes his head with a wince. “Like, I’m my cousin Kendall’s assistant’s… assistant. But, right now, I guess I’m sort of being Shiv’s assistant?”

Tom narrows his eyes, then hums lowly, “Do you enjoy that work?”

“Uh…” Greg shrugs, offering a laugh that sounds forced even to him. “I enjoy, like – the paycheck.”

“Right… right,” Tom says, then reaches out and yanks on the tail of Greg’s tie. He glances over Greg's shoulder, then back to his face, quirking a brow. “Are you on any sort of leash?”

Greg bites at the inside of his lip and feels his cheeks warm, looking down at Tom’s fingers, as he folds the tie around his knuckles. “Uh, um – what do you mean?”

“Could you go somewhere else…” Tom tilts his head with some significance. “That isn’t this hotel bar where your cousin and my ex is watching?”

“Oh, you… I – yes,” Greg says, weakly, clearing his throat and reaching out to take another gulp of his beer, because he’ll feel guilty wasting so much. “For sure.”

Tom clicks his tongue and pays Greg’s tab, all of it, before he can stop him. He then ushers him out of the bar, though not upstairs, as Greg had somewhat shamefully hoped, but out onto the street. It’s a little sunny for Greg’s current black ensemble, but he – He knows that he looks pretty good in this suit, at least, or that he does according to a Men’s Warehouse salesperson.

“Shiv’s miasma is fucking sticky, huh,” Tom says, acting out a shudder down to his fingertips that makes Greg look down with a low laugh at the sidewalk. “Got to admit, I haven’t been down here in years, though, but I think – Yeah. I’ve heard good things. You in St Paul, often?”

“Uh, nope. Never,” Greg says, shrugging and looking around at the buildings hugging either side of them. “It’s nice? Lots of… brick?”

“I’ll alert the press – St Paul gains stamped approval by Roy cousin,” Tom says, sweeping a hand out in front of them with a twisting turn and a bright smile. “Minneapolis quakes with jealousy.”

Greg huffs and wonders if Tom like literally could put that on the PGM ticker. “I’ve never been there – I-I guess the airport.”

“As usual, we won’t report bias – Hey, I’ve seen this place,” Tom says, as he touches softly at Greg’s elbow to stop him in front of a restaurant. It’s thick with draping flower boxes and occupied tables, a low rumble of activity, as dinner starts to pick up with passing time. “It even looks as clean as it did in the article.”

“Are you sure — ?”

Tom comes up short, all but actually freezing a step in front of Greg.

“It looks expensive?”

“Oh,” Tom scoffs, lifting a hand and curling a finger to insist Greg follow him inside. “Don’t you worry about that.”

The mâitre d leads them to one small, round booth of many lit by a dim bulb hanging low from the ceiling. It’s cozy, way cozier than the last bar, and Greg somehow feels closer to Tom on the shared booth, even if he actually might be a little further away.

“Now… I’m not trying to kill any chances or sound scary, but, Greg,” Tom says, after he’s folded his jacket against the seat of the booth, picking up a menu from the center and waving it with a small waft of air in Greg’s direction. “Never go to a second location with a stranger.”

“Like…” Greg looks down at the table, spreading his hands against the shiny lacquered wood, then back to Tom with a small huff. “I read about you on the Internet. You seem pretty okay.”

Tom cracks a laugh, rolling his eyes down to the menu with a twice-over click of his tongue. “So you seem like a cheeseboard kind of guy, but what are… your feelings on wine?”

“I don’t really like sparkling rosé?” Greg says, as he offers a single-shouldered shrug, though that may have been just the vintage? He hasn’t tried a lot of them. “But I-I’ll drink it? I’ll try it.”

Tom lifts his eyes with a dubious look, then snorts, switching out for the other menu. “You’re lucky we’re in the Twin Cities, because it’s the only reason I’m stooping to it – ” He wags the second menu, too. “Do you just want another beer?”

“…Yes,” Greg says, leaning in a bit, while folding and unfolding his hands over the table.

“Okay, bud,” Tom says, mouth twisting while raising a brow up his forehead, clearly studying the menu with a critical eye. “But it’s going to be of far higher calibre than that Molson.”

“I like Molson,” Greg says, shrugging and glancing over toward the bar, which is almost nothing but tap handles. “It’s, you know, familiar. But, also I like – I prefer the dark kind. Of beer. If you're asking.”

“See, progress,” Tom says, unceremoniously rolling his sleeves up with a wag of a pointed finger. “Always better with a like, than a doesn’t like, Greg.”

“Right,” Greg agrees, swallowing slightly, glancing to and away from the gentle flex of Tom’s arm. He looks up, as the server approaches, and realizes he’s still awkwardly in his own jacket; he hastily takes it off, hitting his elbow on the table with a wince. “S-sorry.”

“That’s alright, bud. We’ll both get a Tan Van stout,” Tom says, peeking briefly up to the server, then back at the menu with another drop of his lashes. “And a… meatier or fruitier, Greg?”

“Uh…” Greg shrugs, keeping his eyes on Tom, rather than looking at the server, and wonders if he may have just actually, somehow stumbled into a real date. “Fruit?”

“The Riverside, it is,” Tom says, looking up and back at Greg, a smirk curving at his mouth while he blindly tilts the menu for the server to take.

Greg worries briefly that this is some elaborate play to get dirt on Shiv, or slip back into her circle, but Tom doesn’t even ask about her, and he barely asks about the Roys in general. It could be that he’s really good at misleading, and considering his position at PGM, he probably is, but it doesn’t seem like that, even after the board is nearly empty. Greg ends up talking more about himself or his mom’s dogs over the years, than anything else; apparently, Tom has his own dog, a mutt called Mondale with a permanently grey muzzle, which Tom swears is just to manipulate people for sympathy.

“It’s a - a weird texture,” Greg insists, putting his hand up at a threat to have the boar pâté a second time. “It’s meat butter. Like, uh… cat food for people?”

Tom snorts and continues to slather a cracker. “Alright, I’m just going to ask the awkward question: you’re based in New York, yeah, if you work for Waystar? Not DC?”

Greg nods and looks down, straightening the napkin under his empty beer. He knows Tom lives in New York, too, but doesn’t want to get his hopes up – he might just be trying to open for a comment about the – the uh, summertime scaffolding epidemic. Or finally be about to ask after Shiv.

“Good. It has been a lot of fun, Gregory, watching you make that cute gross-out face at every other thing on this board,” Tom says, waving at the board with a pâté-covered cracker, as he picks up a fig to garnish on top. “I could really do this again.”

Greg wets his lips while heat blooms against his cheeks. “You could?”

“Yes,” Tom says, picking up his beer to take a sip, then gesturing with the dwindling glass. “I’d love to see you go at a molecular gastronomy tasting menu – you’d hate it.”

“That’s like, not very nice?” Greg says, trying to sound less excited and finding himself outright biting at his lip to keep down a smile. “What about, like Five Guys? Something that I – I know I like?”

Tom raises his brows and smirks while setting his glass, then leans forward, almost conspiratorially, against the table. “Now, bud, you’ve uncovered the diabolical core of those sorts of menus – by the end, you are so hungry and drunk that you have to get a meal like that.”

“Oh,” Greg huffs, worrying at his lip now, then offering a slightly affected shrug of his shoulders that settles him just a bit closer to Tom. “So it’s like a – uh, a two part thing?”

Tom hums a slow, meandering few notes, hand sliding against the table and shifting closer in the booth. His eyes drop markedly to Greg’s mouth, then back up, head tilting in an evident readiness. “More than, if the night goes well.”

Greg takes a sharp breath when Tom leans over in the booth, thighs pressing together, and quietly kisses him. He lifts a hand to hesitantly touch at the side of his face, humming eagerly when Tom deepens the kiss, and lets himself be pulled closer in the booth, as he wraps his hand high around Tom’s shoulder with a squeeze.

“You know…” Tom says, as he pulls away, looking at Greg with an unreadable look in his eyes, and the slowly turning his head with a smirk. “If I’d met you while I was still with her? That would’ve been a big ol’ mess.”

Greg wets his lips, looking down between them. “Tom, like...”

“I’m serious,” Tom says, dropping his voice further with a low hum. “It’s a line, but it’s true. I look at you and – and something inside just starts yapping like a purse dog.” He laughs with a huff. “Maybe it’s because you’re tall. You get that a lot?”

“Uh, no, not like… ever,” Greg says, shaking his head with a small shrug. “People don’t really notice me?”

“I refuse to believe that,” Tom says, brow furrowing, leaning in to kiss Greg, again, thumb sweeping heavy against his jaw. “How could anyone not notice you?”

#tomgreg #theres an unseen epilogue here where tom has greg work for PGM #is it on the up and up not really #greg hops from one nepotism scheme to the next

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