#as some sort of parasite instead of something the parent is choosing to do and excited about it seems very dehumanising

[iliveinprocrasti-nationn]

on one hand yes a fetus requires nutrients from the parent’s body but on the other hand. sometimes people calling it a parasite feels a little strange

[miimo96]

Thoughts on My Adventures with Superman S2 FINALE

This has me kinda scared because Normally when this happens, it usually means 2 thing's; 1 this is either going to be Very long episode or 2, Somebody's going to die, and with the way the creator's have been teasing us with Tweets about Kara's demise, I'm guessing it's the ladder, and if that's the case WTF DC

Also if had a nickel for everytime that a Giant spaceship threatened to Destroy Earth as a way to Rebuild krypton in a Superman story, I'd have 2 nickels, which isn't alot, but it's weird that it's happened twice

So lemme get this straight, this Lex is smart enough to build the parasite suit, have a fail safe for that, is able to frame Superman gaining Millions of followers and government access, infuse Kryptonite to Kryptonian built robots, but isn't smart enough to come up with a fail safe when said robots get hacked!?....yeah I call Bullshit

Hell yeah the Cavalry's here! oh, and Sam too I guess whatever, listen the FANS might've forgiven your ass for abandoning lois 6 episodes ago, but I sure as hell don't, in all seriousnes tho I am glad he got some sort of character development regarding his relationship with Superman, seeing it as how he is now trying to help him instead of ya know, Trying to Kill him 😅 btw I kinda feel stupid for asking myself how the heck they turned invisible, only to realize they were actually holding on to Only the character who Can turn invisible Lol 😅😅 also did anyone else immediately thought've Lobo when he said the Main man, no, just me

Wow I can't belive they actually gave Kara the Winter soldier treatment, from the brainwashing, Down to him effing reactivating it like freakin Zemo, Well looks like Clark's gonna have to fight his cousin again, hopefully he doesn't end up like last time, or if not maybe Jimmy can talk some sense into her, Seeing as how it was seeing a picture of Jimmy which resulted in her breaking free from Brainiacs control, maybe this where he can finally confesses his feelings for her, Omg I would love that ^w^

Wait you're telling me Brainiac Did it, that he's the reason why krypton exploded, that HE Killed clarks and Kara's parents!? Oh nah Brainiac gotta die now, also has anyone else how similar he is to Zod, from his reasoning, to his personality, to even this whole effing scenario, like This is some shit Zod would've done, and it's funny because I was actually thinking about this not to long ago about how we technically don't need Zod in this show because Brainiac fits that role perfectly, especially with how he's been depicted this season, Omg if this was an intentional Detail on their part, then it's official, this show never ceases to Amaze me

Uh oh scary Kara's back, Damn it Brainiac why you gotta be such a Bitch; Also it may be nothing, but the way those missiles were moving kinda reminded of the way Darksides Omega beams would move, which got me thinking about something; What if Kryptons technology is possibly made from Apocalypse

This shot is ABSOLUTELY Beautiful; from the colors, to the camera work, to even the Symbolism between him and the Sun, everything was just Screams Superman

Tbh out of all the anime tropes they've done this season, I gotta say Talk no jutsu the 1 was NOT expecting them pull, and ya know what, I'm actually kinda glad they did, because it just fits Superman's MO; Superman has always been represented for kindness not his strength, like even if you've done him dirty, he'll still always choose to help you because that's just who he is, hes the person who just wants to help, he'll carry the weight of the world on his shoulders, he's the person who will try to stop a threat with his words before having to result to violence, he's the Man of Steel not because of what he can do, but because of who he is and always will be, hence why this trope works perfectly for him, it's the Perfect representation of what he embodies, Compassion, That's what makes him Superman

Ok I have a few things regarding this scene, 1st off i Absolutely love my 2 star children, 2nd of all Kara don't throw him into the sun, that's how make Nuclear man 😂 3rd of all, in all honesty, I was not worried 1 bit when Kara got shot mainly for 2 reasons; 1 even tho she was clearly shot by Kryptonite, they were directly near the sun and if I remember correctly, the Sun is what gives them their power, granting them the abilities to heal from critical wounds as well as even more strength, and because 2, kryptonians have invulnerable skin meaning she won't burn up from the sun even if she falls into it, all in all touching scene but No stakes

Kara's lighting's, Kryptonite Saber, Clean animation, Super sayian references!? OMG this episode is AMAZINGGG!! Also Kara's lighting's Red!? Ngl but I SWEAR I thought it was gonna be yellow, not because it would only go good with her hair, but because it in my opinion, it just fits her better, plus we did see kinda of it Start to spark in her fight against Brainiac 2 episodes ago, and since Clark's is blue it would only just made sense for hers to be yellow, hopefully maybe it can like evolve in season 3 or something, don't get wrong I like the Red but in my opinion, it just feels like a missed opportunity, In other News

Eff yeah Brainiac's Dead! Be honest, how many of you actually thought kara was dead after that scene, because my heart immediately stopped after she passed out 😅

Also can we talk about how Amazing Kara's suit looks, like Omg this Has to be one of the best desings I've seen, I just love everything about it from the colors to the boots all the way to especially the Cape, like I just love how it looks like a scarf UwU

AH siblings being siblings 😊 btw Love how he still has the shirt from when he was kid, Such a full circle moment, also when it comes to Kara's, this Kara, the kara from injustice 2, the CW show and even The FLASH movie are All of my favorite Kara's, every single one of them EXPECT and I can't believe I'm saying this, the 1 from the DCAU, like I'm sorry but in my opinion she was just too much of a hot head, and she barely had any screen time in Justice league, like I don't understand how did we stray so far from God, also she was incredibly weaker when it came to her cousin, this 1 on the other hand can slap her cousin around like it was a normal Tuesday, So yeah that's my Hot take come at me In the comments I dare you

Well well well looks like instead of mommy dosen't need you anymore, it's more like We don't need Mommy anymore, hell yeah Lex's finally going to be the Villain next season and I soo can't wait, oh and what's this, it looks like slade is gonna be his right hand now, oh yeah Slex is Definitely becoming cannon

🎵 Super rizz, Super rizz, here comes Clark's Super rizz 🎵

And with that another amazing end to another amazing series, Overall this season was freakin Epic, from the animation, to the music, to the character designs minus the robots, everything was just epic, from Start to finish; only thing to do Now is wait for season 3, but I wanna know you're thoughts, What did YOU think of season 2, and what was your favorite episode or moment from this series, comment or just leave a like if ya enjoyed this Thoughts on series, and lemme know if I should do more of this, Anyway I'mma head out because this took a while for me to write and I'm feeling kinda burnt out, Anyway yeah thank you for reading and I can't wait to see you again in S3, and with that, Superman Saturday's has come to an end, well, for now anyway ^^;

[servin-up-surveys]

survey #175

Do you own anything from Victoria's Secret "Pink" line? Do you really think the clothes are worth the price? No, I couldn't fit in their stuff, but also I would not pay those ridiculous prices for undergarments or perfumes. I haven't heard good things about how their models are treated either, so I don't want to support their business anyway.

Who would you say is the overall best person you know, and why? Uh, that's really hard. Everyone has their own strengths and weaknesses, like I really don't know. People I know may excel in one attribute, but seriously lack in other things. I suppose my mom is the closest that comes to mind though, her level of forgiveness, selflessness, and loyalty is fucking unreal, I just don't like how aggressively spiteful she is towards my dad. She's also a massive doormat, like people use her A LOT, and it's all because she has no idea how to say no, and she knows it.

Do you have a specific gas station you usually go to? Or do you stop wherever? No; I don't drive/have my own car, but Mom will try to pick out a lower price than other ones when she's driving around. We have a Shell or something not even a minute down the road which I do think we usually use, but she definitely sometimes picks other places.

What is your opinion on dating someone who already had a child/children from a previous relationship? It's not something I personally want; I do think someone having a kid could contribute to me choosing to not date them, but I'm unsure. It's not to be mean or anything, I just know that I could never be a proper parent figure to them, especially a child that isn't mine, and when you decide to date a parent, you're picking that child to be in your life too.

Have you recently accomplished anything that you are proud of yourself for? Yeah, honestly. I'm becoming capable of lasting longer and longer on the exercise bike, I'm being more diligent with my diet, still sometimes doing my PT exercises (by this point I've mostly outgrown them, other exercises like the bike benefit me more), and even after like, five-ish months or so of searching, I'm still job hunting nearly daily. Indeed has practically been my homepage lol.

Are you still friends with any of your exes? Do you still communicate with any of them at all? No. I'd be fine interacting with Aaron in a hypothetical situation, we have no ill feelings towards one another at all that I know of, we just grew apart, I don't even think he has social media anymore.

Is there anyone that you text on a regular basis that you do not have saved in your phone? If so, why don't you have their number saved? No.

What's the color of your front door? It's white.

How many people have you been really in love with? Two.

How frequently are you inclined to read, and how much? Not much, honestly... and definitely not as much as I want to. Odds are if I have access to technology, I'm using that in some way instead of reading, but I hate that about me. Like, I do enjoy reading, I have fun doing it when I'm into the book, but it like, automatically takes a backseat if I have Internet access. I'm entirely aware it's because I'm addicted to technology, like I've known this about me for a very, very long time.

How do you feel after spending a great quantity of time online? Oh yikes, that timing lol. I'm basically always online, like if I'm conscious the odds are high I'm at my desk on this laptop doing one thing or another, and I really do hate it about me. I've been this way since I was a kid and I honestly don't think I'll ever be able to tame it down unless I literally had no way of accessing it, period. Even when I DIDN'T have access to a computer for around two months, as soon as I got it back, I was back to my normal ways again.

What is something you hope you never have to do again? Various health issues. Work in customer service of any sort.

Have you ever seen a leech in person? I feel like I have? I'm terrified of them though, I fucking cannot handle parasites, so I feel I'd remember if I ever had one on me.

What are two things you'd tell your child self that you wish you would've known then? TO STOP GIVING A SHIT ABOUT BEING SEEN AS "WEIRD" OR "CHILDHISH" AND JUST BEING SO FUCKING SENSITIVE TO JUDGMENT. Honestly, I feel like half the "judgment" I obsessed over never even really fucking happened, like there was no ill intent behind things said, I just take negative opinions of my interests to be a very personal attack on me as an individual. I've been thinking about this a lot lately, and when you consider I'm more sensitive than ever about me and my hobbies and what I like, it's clear that this is an issue that was never corrected, and my life would be PROFOUNDLY improved if I stopped giving such a shit about the opinions of people whose names I don't even know or whose faces I've only seen once. The second thing I'd tell myself is to be strong and brave, and know that even when things got too dark to see where my life was heading, we came out of the tunnel one day to see light in life again.

Did you used to play hopscotch? Yeah I did.

Do you have anything monogrammed? No, that's never been my thing. My sisters like that stuff, though.

Have you ever joined a mosh pit? No, even as a big metal music lover I do not see the appeal in these at all. People get seriously hurt in those things, like I think people have literally been trampled and died.

Have you ever been hurt by a narcissist? Yes. Then again, I feel like most people have been in one way or another.

Have you forgiven everyone who's wronged you? Way too fucking many too many goddamn times.

What's your favorite thing to do at sunrise? Watch it happen, and also listen to the birds.

What does Notre Dame Cathedral mean to you, and how has its fire affected you? It's an incredible bastion of art and its persistence through time, I was heartbroken when the fires happened. It felt like watching the burning of the Library of Alexandria in modern times. I can't imagine seeing such a fantastic piece of architecture crumbling and NOT be affected by it.

Are you prophetic? I don't believe anyone is, we're all just mortal humans here for barely a blink in the grand scheme of existence and the universe.

Have you ever smoked weed, and if yes, did you like it? No, I'm not into smoking any substance. I do want to try an edible one day in a safe environment with people I trust, though, because I'm very curious regarding how it might help my anxiety.

Does your town's hospital have a good reputation? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, holy shit are there stories.

Have you ever read a Bible verse and thought, "this isn't true"? If so, what do you do when that happens? lmfao you mean since I was a child forced into attending Sunday school???????

What is your favorite shade of brown? Like a creamy coffee brown.

Do you prefer kale, lettuce, or spinach? Lettuce. I'm not sure if I've had kale, though.

Can you usually tell when someone has feelings for you? I feel like I can. Usually.

Do you know what things your pet(s) prefers to eat? I know Roman prefers wet food over dry; he mostly eats dry because boy those wet food poops are just lovely, but he definitely gets excited when we mix it up. I can tell you with absolute certainty that Cookie is insanely greedy with human food she's not supposed to have, and I really wish Mom would stop giving in to her begging.

Would you ever consider visiting Texas? I have zero interest in going there unless either of my two online friends I have and fully trust in Texas invited me to be at like their wedding or something, and even then it would very much depend on how doable travel would be.

Did you ever want a pony for a gift as a kid? Never seriously, no.

Do you know who your mom's favorite singer is? Oh well that's fucking easy, James Hetfield from Metallica. That's been her "celebrity crush" for as long as I can remember, that's her favorite band ever.

Have you ever tried to surf? No, save for like as a kid trying to stand and balance on pool accessories.

Do you want to learn? I'm not particularly interested.

Honestly, have you ever mooned anybody? No.

Which one of your family members do you wish you could see more often? Specifically, the immediate family of my mom's sane brother. He, his wife, and their kids. Like most of my maternal family though, they're in New York.

What room in your house is the messiest? Well, it's not necessarily messy, but it is very disorderly: the spare bedroom where I use my laptop. There's not much in here, but what is in here is placed without any visual appeal in mind. I'd really like to do something with it, but I'm not asking my mom to buy furniture and decor for a spare room when I haven't even done MY bedroom makeover...

Are you proud of your parents? Yes. I could go on for hours upon fucking hours about how proud I am of my mother with her fucking unmatched fighter's spirit, and I'm definitely proud of my dad beating long-time alcoholism. I honestly can't applaud him nearly as much as my mom, like honestly my dad is not a top-tier parent in a number of disappointing ways, but he's definitely gotten better with age. He's absolutely a better grampa than he was a dad.

Have you ever used a "puppy face" to get your way? I actually don't even remember doing that as a kid. The only time I'd ever do it would be entirely playfully.

Do you have dimples when you smile? Yes, very clearly on my left cheek. I feel like I had one on the right when I was young, but I don't see or feel it anymore.

Have you ever carved anything into a tree? Not that I recall.

Who will you be with Saturday night? idk, Girt's off so I might see if he wants to go see the Barbie movie, but I might wanna wait a few more days so the theater isn't crammed full.

What woke you up this morning? Nightmares. Twice.

Did you kiss or hug anyone today? No.

When were you the saddest in your life? End of 2015 and all of 2016. No hell a devil could ever design would be worse for me than what that fucking time period was. Every waking moment I wanted to be fucking dead and the only dreams I ever remembered were about my ex and not positive.

Do you ever get groceries delivered to your house? Only if the specific item needed is not available for pick-up in the store. Mom generally orders our groceries online and then we pick them up in the car, but sometimes something very specific has to be ordered not directly from the store location we go to.

What was the last job interview you went to where you didn't get the job? Do you think the interview went well or not? It was Pizza Hut I think, that or Inn, and I'd THOUGHT it went well; the guy who interviewed me even told me he had very high hopes of me getting a yes. Nowadays though I'm immensely grateful I never got the call back; this was in desperate times before my third job where I finally settled I just fucking can't work in customer service. Thinking I could ever be a waitress was absolute insanity, it would have gone horrid.

What's your favorite pasta shape? Probably penne. Or normal spaghetti noodles, I just don't like that they're generally messier to eat.

What's one of the saddest movies you've ever seen? I normally answer this with The Boy in the Striped Pajamas, but just to mix it up a bit, Johnny Got His Gun is also fucking heart-wrenching.

What was the last physical pain you experienced? Menstrual cramps.

Do you know anyone who is terminally ill? Yes, she's way too weak for cancer treatments in her age so we know what's happening.

[rons-hermiones]

Come Find Me

by rons-hermiones

Summary: Unplanned, Hermione is forced to spend Christmas at the Burrow due to her grandmother falling very ill. After being ignored by Hermione for weeks, Ron is determined to show her how much she means to him. Just before he gets the chance to tell her, Bellatrix Lestrange shows up with other plans for Hermione. Can Ron get to her before it's too late? (Ron/Hermione Half-Blood Prince AU)

Rating: M for language & dark themes in later chapters.

Chapter Thirty Seven

“Ron?” A voice broke from the doorway. 

He glanced briefly but was sure to not loosen Hermione from his hold. 

“Ronnie,” Bill began in a soft tone, “I’m not sure if holding her like that is-” 

“She knows Bill.” He whispers before his brother can finish, “About her parents.” He tells, ignoring the cotton building in his throat. Instead he strokes her hair lovingly, eyes never leaving her still form. 

Bill looks at a loss for words, face scrunched in confusion, “What-how?”

He shrugs, “They must’ve told her… there.”

He steps closer to the bed, looking down at the teenagers, “but that means she remembers something then?” Bill tries hopefully. 

Ron sighs, “I wouldn’t call it a victory Bill.” His oldest brother looks guilty, “Anyway, it wasn’t much really, she asked for them, sort of, and then it’s like she could just read me and I couldn’t lie to her. Not again. Never again.” 

There’s a silence for a moment, “what do you mean ‘sort of’?” Bill wonders. 

He gulped, “it was like she couldn’t speak. Like everything that she tried to say- like it hurt her. Almost as if a first year tired casting a silencing charm.” 

His brother looks crestfallen, “I read it’s common for the Cruciatus-“

At this something roars within Ron. He doesn’t care what's common or whatever explanation because this was never supposed to happen. 

“I don’t bloody care!” He yelled, unknowingly making Hermione groan at his volume. 

Bill does notice. “Ronnie-“ he begins to warn. 

“No! None of this is normal! None of this was supposed to happen, and here you are-“

“S-st…”

He stops at her mummers.  His eyes flick to Bill’s whose own are full of pity. His heart aches knowing he caused this newfound discomfort at his burst of anger. 

Then her body gave a horrible twitch. 

Ron watched in horror as her lips upturned into a slight smile as she spoke clear as day. Except, she didn’t sound like Hermione. Not at all. 

“That’ll teach you to keep your mouth shut muddy!”

For a horrible moment he thought Bellatrix Lestrange polyjuiced into his Hermione. 

He knows this isn’t the case as she soon twitches again and silent tears streak her face. Her lips begin to quiver as her brow furrows, clearly showing how distressed she is. 

It makes him ill. 

Literally ill. 

Before he knows it he’s sprinting to the loo, a door in the corner of her room. He slides on his knees to the toilet, coughing up the bile and dry heaving after the fact. Hot tears stream his face from the discomfort of the action and fear for Hermione. 

Soon enough he feels a familiar hand rubbing circles on his back. 

Turning to his older brother he suddenly feels small again. Like a curious child wanting to know the inner workings of quidditch. Like he was completely innocent and oblivious to the world. 

“W-what was that?” Ron asks groggily, wiping at his mouth. 

Bill sighs and waves his wand, casting a cleansing charm on Ron. As he looks up from his work, his eyes become glassy after looking at his little brothers. 

“That was dark magic Ron.” He informed regretfully

Ron of course knew that Hermione had been affected horribly by many spells, jinxes, curses, and unforgivable, but he had yet to see the severity first hand and how it impacted her. 

It tore him up. 

After a moment Bill whispers something else. Something they’ve all been thinking, but aren’t brave enough to admit yet. 

“That's some of the darkest magic of all.” 

...

After the incident Ron joined Hermione’s side again. Watching over her as she slept, prepared for when she left the horrors of her mind, to the terrible reality of this world. One without her parents. One where she couldn’t perform magic. One where it seemed a part of her mind was inhabitated by Bellatrix Lestrange like a fucking parasite. 

He would kill the witch if it was the last thing he ever does. 

He’s broken from his angry thoughts when Bill saunters in, “I told the healer about what happened. Says he needs to check a few things out.” He said nervously. 

“Dunno how if they can’t use any bloody magic.” He grumbled. 

His older brother’s lip twitches, like he wants to smile but doesn’t know if it’s appropriate. “They said it could mean good things for her mind.” 

Ron just knew Bill wasn’t here for that, not after his explosion earlier. 

“Why are you here Bill?” He asks knowingly. 

He sighs, “Someone’s here to see you. He sent me to ask if he could come in.”

The younger of the two scrunches his brow. Surely his family, Harry, or Neville didn’t need his permission to come in and see him. He doesn’t own the bloody room. 

Bill breaks the silence, “I’ll send him in.” He said before vanishing out the door. 

“It’s a bit hypocritical isn’t it?” Ron whispers to Hermione once he’s sure no one can hear them. “I’m so effing annoyed everyone is treating me like I’m gonna lose it at any minute, but I reckon I’m doing the same to you. I just want you to be okay Mione.” His voice breaks. “I could give a shite less about me right now.” He whispers, stroking the back of her small hand with his thumb. 

“You have quite the colorful vocabulary Mr. Weasley.”

His head instantly whips around to the door at the voice. 

He internally groaned at who was standing there. Not really in the mood for cryptic riddles at the moment.

“I talked to Harry on my way in. He tells me you haven’t left this room.” Dumbledore points out, stepping further inside. 

“With all due respect sir, if you’re here to bring me back for a potions lesson, I’m not leaving.”

The old man chuckles, “That’s not what I’m here to do Ronald.”

“Then what are you here for?” He can’t help but ask. 

“To see you of course.” Dumbledore says without missing a beat. 

He can’t help but just stare at him in utter confusion. 

“I’ve heard a lot of things and I thought to myself, who better to ask about it than you?” 

“Well I’m not sure what you want to know sir.” 

“How is she?” The headmaster asks, stepping next to Ron’s chair. 

“Not great.” He says honestly. Someone like Harry or Ginny, he’s willing to try and spare their feelings. However, Dumbledore always knows the truth so there’s no way around it. “I can’t imagine the kind of pain she’s in- she knows about her parents, she can’t seem to escape, not even when she’s sleeping.” 

The old man sighs, “Our most haunting thoughts are those that come when we aren’t thinking.” He interjects. 

This is exactly what Ron did not want to deal with. 

“No you don’t understand,” He begins in a whisper, not wanting a repeat from earlier, “she- it was like she was possessed. It was like Bellatrix Lestrange was inside her head.” 

“She is.” Dumbledore said, like it was simple, like it wasn’t a problem. Sensing Ron’s unease he leans forward, “They all are now. Your job is to help direct Miss Granger to focus on which voices to listen to, which to drown out.” 

“So you’re saying her mind- it’s not okay?” 

“She’s just as sane as we are. The only difference between her and us Mr. Weasley, is that she has less to be sane about, or so she may think. That’s why she needs you.” 

Weasley groans, “Everyone’s talking like I’m this great almighty thing, like I can fix this.”

Slowly the old man shakes his head, “The only person who can truly fix this, is Hermione, but she won’t be able to do it alone. She needs all of you, she needs you, now more than she ever has. Always an independent one Miss Granger is. She’ll think she’s a burden, you’ll need to remind her she’s not.” 

“She isn’t.” Ron says suddenly. 

Dumbledore lets a ghost of a smile find it’s way across his aged face. 

“Hermione’s own worst enemy is herself.” He says before walking toward the door.

Thinking that was the end of that, Ron redirects his attention back to Hermione’s sleeping form, continuing to stroke the back of her hand tenderly. 

“Oh and on that thought about enemies,” Dumbledore begins from the doorway, making Ron turn, “always remember Mr. Weasley, those who you think may be your enemies, you may have more in common with then you once thought. Good day.”

If Ron has learned anything, it’s to never think about what Dumbeldore says too much, it just makes you barmy. Somehow, someway, it always goes back to something. 

But if the old man was implying Ron and Bellatrix or You-Know-Who were gonna sit down over tea and bond about the war, then he was truly mad. 

Choosing to ignore that part for now, he remembers what the Headmaster said about being there for Hermione. He would be until his dying breath. 

“It’s just me and you now Hermione.” He whispers softly. “No Death Eaters. No Lavender. No McLaggen. Just us.” He swears. 

“And I promise you this darling, I’ll never let anyone take that from us again.”

...

It wasn’t until hours later, hours left with nothing but his thoughts and whispered promises did Ron finally break from whatever daze he was in. 

“Here’s the wand back.” He heard a familiar voice from the hallway say. 

Quickly, he glanced at Hermione and noted her sleeping form. Slowly, he unraveled himself from her and stood up, doing his best to not go rushing back when she groaned at his absence. 

“I don’t understand…” Arthur began. 

At this, Ron crept closer behind the cracked door. Concealing his form behind the old wood. 

“The big guy told Kingsley to keep it hush hush within the Ministry for now. He thinks maybe if Hermione sees it, maybe even tries to use it-“ The youngest Weasley male cringes at the statement. Tonks seems to have caught herself as she stopped speaking. “Eventually.” She soon added, “then it may get her talking.”

No words were exchanged, but knowing his father to be a man of few words, he would bet he just nodded. 

“So it’s true then, she can’t speak?” The woman couldn’t help but ask quietly.  

Mr. Weasley sighed, “she’s been in and out. Ron has told me she can’t really string along a sentence, just words that are more like grumbles and she stutters. I witnessed it myself once, the act of talking for her seems so painful, like she’s scared.” 

He chooses to leave out the incident Bill told him about, not wanting to worry Tonks and The Order further. Hoping it was just a fluke. 

“Oh no.” He heard Tonks whisper to what seemed to be herself. 

“Jamison said he’s found no physical injury to her throat or vocal cords that would affect her in that way. He reckons it’s a result of the cruciatus or trauma, or both. We just hope it’ll resolve itself over time.” He explained. 

“I just hope something helps. Your boy hasn’t left? I’m surprised Molly hasn’t dragged him back to Hogwarts.” 

Arthur chuckled, “you and I both, but she knows that he needs to be here right now and that Hermione needs him here. It also helped that Dumbledore said Ron should stay. It eased her into knowing it was the right thing for everyone.” 

What the hell? Dumbledore? He said he wasn’t dragging him back… for now. But he never thought he’d convince his mother of that. 

“He really cares for her. It is what’s right.” Tonks assures

“Mmhm.” The older man hums in agreement. 

“I just hope this wand does something. More harm than good. I’d hate for it to upset her.” The auror says worriedly. 

There's silence for a moment. 

“Any word on Narcissa’s whereabouts?” He asked. 

“No sightings. Cissy is rather…”

Tonks keeps going, but Ron doesn’t listen. 

Cissy. 

That word she’s been groaning. 

“Cissy?” He bellowed, pushing past the door and into the hallway. 

“Ron? How long have you-“ Arthur doesn’t sound angry but startled, but Ron can’t seem to care. 

He shucks it off, “Cissy?” He repeated staring Tonks down. 

And Tonks, an auror who's seen a lot, shrinks a little under this teenage boy's gaze. The look is so fierce, so full of silent commands. 

She slowly nods, “my Mum calls her that, it’s short for-“

“Narcissa Malfoy.” Ron breathes. 

Narcissa Malfoy, who was in that place with Hermione. 

That’s who she’s been groaning about. 

Merlin, if he ever saw her- well, he shouldn’t be surprised given her sister, husband, and son, but to know Hermione mumbles more about her than the likes of Bellatrix. He can’t imagine what might’ve happened. 

And she always groans it when a door sounds, that must mean something. She must think she’s coming for her. 

Bloody hell. 

Arthur seems to put it together as his eyes slightly bulge. 

“What? What is it? Is Hermione alright?” Tonks asked worriedly. 

Ron is still reeling so he doesn’t speak. Arthur was hesitant not knowing if that’s the direction this was headed. 

At the same time Mr. Weasley decided to speak, Tonks decided to take matters into her own hands and check on Hermione with her wand drawn just to be sure. 

“It’s Hermione, she says that whenever someone opens-“

The creak of the door squeaks loudly. 

“Cissy.” The young brunette groans. 

“-the door.” Arthur finishes. 

Tonks stared down in shock, Ron can’t understand why until he peers at the bed himself. Hermione is awake, eyes wide and completely and utterly focused on one thing. 

Narcissa Malfoy’s wand. 

...

The door opened as Narcissa was met by a familiar, but confused face. 

Instantly, that who she sought out, lunged toward her. For a moment the blonde feared it was out of anger. 

But no, instead, she was embraced by nothing but pure love. 

She dropped the book under her arm and accepted the gesture with open arms. Literally. 

“You’ve come home.” 

They were both crying. 

“I am. I’m so sorry it took me so long. I’m so sorry.” Cissy sobbed into the slender shoulder. 

The hug was broken as they stared into each other’s eyes. 

“All that matters is that you’re here now. Nothing else.” They promised, wiping some of her tears and ushering her into the cottage. 

When the door clicked shut, Narcissa surveyed the space. It felt so much like a home. Nothing like that awful empty feeling she got while at Malfoy Manor. 

“They’re looking for you. It’s all over the papers. There’s reports your wand went missing.” Though posed as a statement, Narcissa felt as if she was being asked something. 

“It’s true, all of it.” She nodded. 

“But you know where your wand is don’t you?” They asked knowingly. 

A small smile drew across her lips, they knew each other too well. “I do, I need your help to retrieve it. There’s someone I need to see.” 

“Draco?” 

Cissy shook her head, “no. He’s at Hogwarts, so I can’t risk it. He knows I’m safe, though. It’s someone else.” She explains. 

“Who?” 

Narcissa sighs, not wanting to explain it all. However, she knows what she asks next will warrant many questions. 

“Tell me, you know a way into the Weasley’s home? The Burrow?” 

Andromeda’s eyes bulged.

[journeysintowebcomics]

Worm Liveblog #122

UPDATE 122: Kill the Endbringers

Last time Dinah had been taken to a hospital, and there was a very good chance Skitter would get everyone in trouble by letting her desires and ‘I know what’s good for you’ attitude cloud her judgment. Thankfully, she realized that before it was too late! Now what? Let’s find out.

Well looks like Dinah is convinced she won’t be accepted back into her home. Wow, the chapter has barely started and things are looking pretty rough already. Reminder Dinah is young. This kind of thoughts must hurt, wow. Skitter, trying to smooth things over, promises she will be received with arms wide open. Welcome home, Dinah!

“They will want you.  Just wait,” I said.  “They’ll welcome you with open arms, and there won’t even be a hint of fear.”

Oh dear. Don’t make promises that are out of your control, Skitter. Seriously, if this doesn’t go like she is saying it will...that’s going to scar Dinah so badly, and completely break her trust on Skitter. This is not good at all. I hope Dinah’s fears aren’t rooted in reality, I really do.

She even is worried because she looks pretty bad, consequences of Coil’s mistreatment and also the drugs. She thinks it’ll remind her family she has powers and freaks people out with predictions. Hmmmm...with some luck seeing her so...um, emaciated may invoke feelings of pity, perhaps some guilt if they’re aware Dinah feels so out of place. I almost would suggest she takes a look at the odds she will be welcomed back, but...but I fear they may not be favorable. Oh, geez...ignorance is bliss?

I’m not even human anymore.”

“You’re definitely human, Dinah.”

“Then why do they call us parahumans?  Doesn’t the ‘para’ part mean half?  Paraplegic, only half your body works.  Parahuman, half human.”

Hmm...is that really what ‘para’ means? I mean, paranormal sure doesn’t mean it’s half normal, it’s way above that. Paragliding is...um, it sure isn’t half gliding. Parasite doesn’t mean half a site, it’s all about adding an intruder into a body. The conclusion I’m getting is that ‘para’ is not really a reliable prefix. Thank you for coming to my linguistic discussion, was it too noticeable I have no idea what I’m talking about?

The next paragraph is Skitter making the point I was making, that ‘para’ doesn’t really mean ‘half’. She even brings up the word ‘paranormal’, like I did! Aaah, same wavelength! And she finishes her argument by saying her parents can’t judge her for stuff she didn’t choose. To that Iiii will have to disagree. They certainly could. They shouldn’t, but they could. Nothing to do but hope they don’t. I wonder if perhaps Skitter will get to talk to them before they see Dinah? I’m not entirely sure it’d be a good idea or not, but...perhaps she should consider that. Maybe.

The reason why Skitter is so aware of things like prefixes and semantics is because her mom used to be an English teacher. She has continued paying attention to that sort of things as a way to remember her. Honestly that’s pretty sweet of her. It’s...it must be nice to have something to remember your deceased loved ones by, like that. I’m glad. Speaking of family! She also mentions how she has a father, and how he is, well, not someone she has seen for a while because she puts him in danger.

As expected, the effects of Dinah’s withdrawal happen pretty quickly. Dinah is already heaving, with Skitter holding her hair. Damn, I hope she’ll be okay – but she says she won’t, the painkillers didn’t help at all. Afterwards, she says once again there’s no way her parents will accept her. You know, from how many times she’s saying it, I’m starting to fear she’s right. I want to think they will, but...with how much she has repeated it...I fear she’ll do something that’ll force the futures where they don’t accept her.

“And even if they do take me, it’ll be weird, because they can’t ignore my power now.  They pretended I didn’t have one.  Pretended I was an ordinary kid.  Pretended the headaches didn’t mean anything, like they pretended the heart disease wasn’t a thing.”

“Heart disease?  You?”

Dinah shook her head.  “Not me.”

She didn’t elaborate.  Related to her trigger event?

Oh. There’s that too. It’s going to be impossible to pretend things are fine and back to normal when Dinah was kidnapped because of her powers. I mean, measures will have to be taken so something like that doesn’t happen again, right? That’s got to include some sort of tinker technology, or guards, or something. Also, they’re a former mayor’s family. That could be used as a cover story of sorts for any noticeable security measures.

Reassuring Dinah this is the drug withdrawal talking, Skitter gets a comb and tries to make her look more presentable, so at least the parents don’t have a first sight of a young, haggard girl in the middle of the throes of withdrawal. Golly, I get shivers just from thinking about how Dinah will look. She’s feverish, she’s sweating like crazy...this won’t be pretty at all, obviously. But surely Dinah’s parents would look past all that and take her back, right? At least because seeing her like that will make them worry. Right?

...right?

Dinah asks Skitter to go knock on the door and bring her parents out. It’s time to face the music, let’s see how this particular subplot ends. Crossing fingers for a positive result! Skitter goes to the entrance and rings the bell, it doesn’t work. Instead she knocks on the door and lets a pair of flies go inside, she finds Dinah’s parents. The father takes a frying pan and gets ready, in case it’s an attack.

...

Skitter still has her costume on, doesn’t she? Cripes, what a thing to find when you open the door. No wonder the father closed the door right away! Damn! Still, I’d like to think that, if villains were to attack a residence, they wouldn’t be politely knocking on the door. Not that this fact is going to make the dad lower his guard, is it.

Of course, their first reaction is to think Skitter is trying to extort them – a reasonable thought, given she’s a villain and the first thing she says is that she has their daughter! Well, she said she brought Dinah, but still. Skitter hurries to make things clear, and doesn’t mince any words. Better that way, probably. Better for them to be aware of what Dinah is going through, than seeing her sorry state and then fall into more despair. I mean, the blow will be hard, but it’s...easier when you’re aware of what’s coming, no?

...

Gosh, that must be a nightmare for any parent.

“She has abilities, then?” the dad asked.

Oh. They didn’t know? If they didn’t, then that really adds to Dinah’s fears, then. Would they accept her, even though she has a power? Honestly, I had interpreted it all as the parents trying hard to pretend she didn’t, but...there’s really no point to feign ignorance here. Even if Skitter is a villain, she already has Dinah in her clutches.

Even though Dinah is still afraid, she accepts Skitter’s help and steps out of the car, being brought towards her family. Contrary to what Dinah was predicting – and much to my relief – her parents don’t hesitate to approach. The mother immediately hugs her, the father comes behind just a second later, which I’m sure was more out of caution towards Skitter than because of anything from Dinah. There we go! A family reunited, and there doesn’t seem to be even a bit of trouble brewing. Times will be hard for them, given Dinah’s withdrawal, but I’m sure they’ll be fine. I hope.

The father even thanks Skitter! Which she tries not to acknowledge. The guilt of having been indirectly responsible for the kidnapping in the first place, you see. There’s also something else, something that’s somewhat selfish, but perfectly understandable, in my opinion:

I wasn’t sure I felt good about that.  I’d gotten this far by making the most out of every resource I had available, and by being smart about things.  This was throwing away a resource, tying my own hands.  The decision felt dumb, even as I knew it was the right thing to do.

I know, right? It’d have been so tempting to try to convince Dinah to stay and give advice about how to fight the end of the world. Dinah herself saw that in the cards, so to say. If Dinah hadn’t said it, I think Skitter would have kept her, justifying that with how it was to prevent the end of the world. She’d have promised herself that she’d return Dinah once the end of the world was averted, even if that took two years, no? I don’t know what the rest of the Undersiders would have said, but I doubt they’d have tried to return Dinah to the family. All in all, Skitter has done the right thing, even though it may feel dumb right now.

With nothing else to do there, Skitter asks the driver to get going. She also finds two pieces of paper, probably left by Dinah. I hope they’re not meant to be private, because Skitter will have to ask someone else to read those for her. Perhaps they’re little predictions about odds? Possibly about the end of the world?

Scene cut!

Heeeere’s the team! The team and also Ballistic, who isn’t part of the Undersiders, but personally I’m not discarding he may join in some manner. The situation kind of demands it. Parian is also here.

I turned to Parian.  “Didn’t expect to see you here.”

“Tattletale got in touch.  I… I apparently missed a lot.”

“You’re up for this?”

“No.  But I want to know what’s going on, in case it affects my territory.”

Oh dear! I’m pretty sure it involves the entirety of Brockton Bay. Welcome to the Noelle situation, Parian, we’re very screwed right now. There’s only one hour and forty minutes until dawn, and then it’s showtime. Probably.

There’s been one sighting of Noelle. What’s she doing, I really have to wonder. Is she just wandering around aimlessly? Either way, Parian makes a wiener dog for everyone to ride, which is simply hilarious. Here comes the cavalry, riding a wiener dog! Hah! Awesome.

“This is so lame,” Imp said.  “How are you supposed to build a decent rep if you’re caught riding a wiener dog?”

Aw, come on, Imp, it’s great! Don’t be like that.

There’s some nice banter that ends in Imp having to settle for the plush wiener dog, while Skitter rides on Bentley with Heckpuppy. Along the way, Tattletale asks if everyone is okay with she taking charge, and they all ask Ballistic for an assessment of how dangerous Noelle is. Give the deets, pal!

“It’s why I’m here.  Consider Noelle a triple threat,” he said.  “She’s strong, she’s got nothing to hold her back, now, and she’s smart.”

She’s a natural tactician, he says. I’m going to have to doubt that a little, not because I doubt Noelle isn’t smart, or able to come up with plans. I’m doubting it because, well, she was in a gaming team. That’s completely different to something like this. Skills usable there may not transfer to other things. Still, it’d be bad to underestimate Noelle. It has been said a lot about how she’s very dangerous, I’m sure she’ll be a genuine threat.

Whooops, Ballistic is sitting out of the fight. So is Parian, but that one isn’t really terribly surprising, Parian has nothing to do with any of this beyond protecting her territory. The reason why Ballistic is sitting out is because he’s sure Noelle will use him against them somehow. That’s...a reasonable concern, really. It can happen.

...is Skitter seriously underestimating Noelle right now? Come on, you can’t be serious. Ballistic says the reason why Noelle was fooled with all the lies she was told was because she trusted Trickster blindly. Even though he got her into this situation in the first place, technically? I guess that, although she blamed him, she saw him as the only one who could help her. He being the only one visiting her must also be a factor, I’m sure.

“He became team leader more because he’s fast at thinking on his feet than because he’s good at making the right call.  He took it on himself to make a whole lot of wrong calls.  I let a lot of that slide because he used to be a friend.  And maybe because they weren’t blatantly wrong.  Just a little wrong, a little disagreeable.  But at some point every call was a disagreeable call and every word out of his mouth became a white lie.  He started lying to us for what he saw as our own good.  Not Noelle with her delicate state, but us.”

I read earlier Noelle was good at being intuitive and making moves because she read the situation well. This paragraph here makes it sound like they named Francis the team leader because he was the closest they got in terms of skill.

Speaking of Trickster! He may make things much worse, or he may be of help, depending on if he’ll help them or not. Personally I think he won’t help. Tattletale just said his focus would always be on Noelle and himself. No way he’s going to do a thing if it’ll hurt Noelle, even if it’s to save Brockton Bay. What does he care, if this isn’t even his world?

There’s some briefing about what Noelle can do, I don’t really see anything we don’t already know. What’s important to remark here, at least the way Ballistic says it, is that they have to get this all done before Noelle makes clones. Parian tries to say those clones are people, Ballistic quite reasonably says they’re not. And yeah, they’re not. The way those Cody clones were acting...yeah, I doubt they could be considered people. Oh boy, there’ll totally be some clones going on, right? I bet some if not all of the Undersiders will have to face clones of themselves.

As a general rule I still don’t like clones, but...honestly, the way Worm is doing it, it seems like it could be interesting to read! Neato!

The regeneration will be somewhat troublesome, especially since it’ll make it much harder to kill her. Skitter right away says she doesn’t want to do that unless there’s no other choice. Hum.

Ballistic turned my way, and he had a funny tone in his voice as he asked, “How do you think you’re going to handle this?”

“Containment,” I said.  “If I get enough spiders together, I could try to surround her in web.”

Hum. You know, I’m not sure containing her will be a terribly good idea. She has gotten stronger; the kind of long-term containment she’d need would have to be carefully planned in order to work. She can’t just be shunted into the Birdcage, after all! And anything can happen in the time it takes to finish a vault or something to contain her. It’s way too dangerous, way too risky. I’m not sure it’s worth it. I hate to admit it, but...maybe lethal force has to be considered? Because Noelle is pretty close to being too dangerous to not subdue lethally anytime soon.

I mean, personally I think it’s not impossible the characters will figure a way to defeat Noelle without killing her, but...given the situation...I admit lethal force is more and more like a necessity here. Oh well! Skitter has been really resourceful in the past, it’s not really impossible she’ll figure something out!

Still, Tattletale accuses Ballistic of having no consideration towards Noelle because he’s suggesting to kill her, and needless to say, Ballistic didn’t like that at all. Geez, Tattletale. That could have been handled waaaay more tactfully. I can’t blame Ballistic for deciding to leave right away, he doesn’t even wait for the sausage dog to stop moving before he gets off. Welp! There gooooo all the chances of Ballistic joining the Undersiders. No way it’s happening now, or at least it’s much less likely.

Then again...maybe I’m being too callous about Noelle? I just think she is a huge danger, given everything that’s been shown. It’s always possible I’m just taking it waaaay too callously. After all, it’s way easier to make these calls when they’re fictional characters in a story.

In what’s another possibly bad move, they try to convince Parian to fight. She refuses, asking what she can do to protect her territory. She’s not interested in dealing with Noelle.

“I really don’t think we have a choice.  You fought Leviathan,” I said.

Parian shook her head, “I almost wish I didn’t.  I only did it because I promised myself when I was a kid, when I first learned about the Endbringers, that I would fight them if I ever got powers.  That’s why I did it, because I didn’t want to betray the kid version of myself.”

“Wouldn’t your child-self want you to do this?”  I asked.

“I don’t know.  But I didn’t make any promises to myself about this.”

Honestly I can’t blame her for not wanting to get involved in that. Leviathan is an Endbringer who threatens to destroy so much of the world. Its name makes everyone tremble in fear. Noelle is...well, for now, she is more of a domestic affair for the Undersiders. I don’t discard the possibility Parian will have to fight at some point, but right now? I think it’s fair she doesn’t join the fight.

Not really any time to discuss it further, because they encounter the heroes. They’re right over there. Hi! Guys, there’s a pseudoEndbringer about to destroy the city! It’s another day in Brockton Bay – and I’m so making that the slogan for Worm: It’s Another Day in Brockton Bay.

Miss Militia is here, and her immediate reaction is to aim at them with a rifle. How welcoming. There’s some wreckage here, and Miss Militia wants to know if the Undersiders had anything to do with it. Skitter very truthfully replies they were indirectly responsible, which...is that really the best thing to be saying?

...maybe, because it’d be coming out at some point, anyway.

Miss Militia’s reasoning is that there are reports that fit with what the Undersiders have done in the past, and a hero has been kidnapped. Huh. Noelle is already making her move, it seems! How screwed are we?

“Vista,” I finished Miss Militia’s thought.  “You’re talking about Vista.”

Huh. That so? That’s one versatile combatant out of the fight, indeed. I remember Skitter had mentioned earlier that they should ask the heroes’ help so they could bring containment foam and also have Vista use her powers to help. That’s going to throw a wrench into Skitter’s hopes for containment. Right now, though, the priority is explaining to the heroes they didn’t do this...directly, and that Noelle is a huge threat. That shouldn’t be hard to convince, right? I hope, at least. Time to take a look!

...or not. It’s an interlude. Well, I guess that was a time for a cliffhanger, but it certainly wasn’t what I wanted to read, I admit. I wanted more of the current situation. I hope this interlude will be worthwhile, because...yeah, I wish I could skip it to continue with the story. But hey, let’s tackle it. Onwards!

Kevin Norton, hm...the name doesn’t sound familiar. Then again, it’s likely it has been a while since I read it, so it’s not impossible I just don’t remember him. Hell, it’s possible a Norton was already shown and this is a relative. Who could this man be? He has a dog, too.

“I’ve saved millions of lives.  Billions.”

Another hand signal bidding another small woof of agreement.

He’s making some hefty claims, too. I won’t be surprised if he’s telling the truth, though. A lot can happen in Worm. Who knows, maybe he singlehandedly prevented a widespread tragedy, by foreseeing it or something. Who knows.

Nobody’s paying Kevin Norton any heed. Some parts of his clothing are pretty much falling apart. Kevin talks to the dog he’s with, saying he’s not getting much money and calling himself ‘the most powerful man in the world’ when asking for money. There’s not really much success here, so instead he decides to give the vital backstory info for the reader’s benefit. Just who are you, Mr. Kevin Norton?

Seems like he was in this area ages ago, and so much has changed since then. Kevin reminisces, remembering people who treated him well, and hopes they’re okay. Meanwhile, he gets some comfort for himself by saying he has a lot of responsibilities and he hasn’t shirked them – in fact, he makes it sound like the mere thought of having left them aside is the worst thing that could ever happen.

Also, he’s very alone. Nobody to support him, it seems. As if the world wants to make things a little worse for him, it starts raining.

Seems to me Kevin has regrets. There sure is a lot of talk about courage and cowardice here. Perhaps it’s related to he being the most powerful man in the world, according to himself? Maybe if he had been a little braver, he wouldn’t be in that position – like being the most powerful man in the world ruined his life. It’s one of those ironic things so popular in fiction, no? I wonder what’d be Mr. Wildbow’s take on it.

A woman gives Kevin ten pounds. So this is England, most likely. Quite a distance from Brockton Bay. Kevin braces himself for the judgmental scolding people who give him a lot of money usually give, and the woman doesn’t do anything like that. Instead, she makes conversation, praising the dog and asking why it’s called Duke. Kevin brings up once again he’s the most powerful man in the world. Boy, he’s fixated on that.

“Are you okay?” she asked.

“Hm?” he perked up, withdrawing his hand.

“You had a look on your face.”

“Just wondering when the last time I had contact with another person was.  Might have been a few years ago.  Pastor gave me a hug as I left his shelter.”

“That sounds so lonely, Kevin.  Years without human contact?”

“Not so lonely.  I’ve got one friend,” he said, scratching Duke’s head.

Lisette nodded.

“But you shouldn’t forget.  The little stuff.  Even a handshake?  That’s something special.  Meaningful.  Value it, even if you get it every day.”

A lonely existence with many, many years without contact. Meaningful contact that wasn’t, say, the brush of fingertips when giving money. Makes me wonder what kind of life Kevin used to have before. So much melancholy in his tone, that’s for sure.

Kevin asks the woman – Lisette, is her name – to walk with him while he talks about himself. While the woman comes with him after some hesitation, she keeps her distance because hey, no harm in being cautious. Kevin starts talking. The beginning of his problems happened when he got into a relationship with a woman who in the end wasn’t really the right one for him, but he doesn’t blame her for his trouble. In the end, Kevin realized he’s gay. Still, that wasn’t the cause for the destruction of his relationship, anyway. It turned abusive in pretty much all ways possible, and Kevin left after a while. Since then he’s been living on the streets.

The place he has taken Lisette to is where he slept first. A bit of nostalgia there – I guess...we all look to our beginnings, huh.

Lisette is asked to hold Duke’s leash for a moment while Kevin got to the water’s edge, splashing some on his face. The situation takes a turn for the unexpected when suddenly there’s a golden man floating there. Huh. Parahuman, no doubt. Duke seems a bit...hm, ears flat against the head is a sign of apprehension, right? And Lisette is speechless.

You know, unless something changed very drastically in Worm and I don’t recall/didn’t notice, there’s only one golden guy floating around untouched by debris and dirt. Is this Scion? Did Scion just...appear out of nowhere to hang out here?

“Hello old friend,” Kevin said.

The only answer was the pouring rain.  The golden man didn’t speak.

“Wondered if I would see you here,” Kevin continued.  “Been a long time.  I’d nearly convinced myself I’d imagined you.  That old dog over there, he wasn’t even born when I left, and he’s on his last legs now.  Twelve years old.”

Apparently he did, and it’s not the first time. Kevin had met him before, in this same place. Probably after leaving that abusive woman. Kevin nonchalantly returns to Lisette, and reveals Scion wasn’t ever that guy’s name. An alias, really, like all parahumans have.

This here is the reason why Kevin is the most powerful man in the world. Oh, please give more details! I’m actually intrigued by that. What’s up?

So, looks like I was right in that he met Scion shortly after he fled, encountering him and finding out Scion is sad – even if golden man’s face never changes, he’s sad in the inside, and has always been. Kevin hadn’t liked that and went to shout at him for being more miserable than Kevin was back then. Since Kevin wasn’t instantly vaporized with a laser beam back then, I guess Scion didn’t take offense to that.

In a fit of frustration, Kevin shouted at Scion why doesn’t he go and help someone. Why doesn’t he do something useful with his powers like save people or something. I guess he didn’t use to do that before, hm. And so, since then, Scion has been the hero everyone knows...because that’s all Scion has, it seems. He’s empty, according to Kevin. Saving people is...pretty much all he has. So that’s why Kevin says he has saved billions – he gave Scion the push to go be a hero, and therefore countless lives have been saved. Good thing it was Kevin who found him, then. If Scion was as easily influenced as Kevin is making it sound, then someone coming and telling him ‘hey, go commit crimes’ could have happened too, and things would be so much different right now. Maybe there’s an alternate universe fanfic with such a premise, it could be interesting to write and/or read.

According to Kevin, Scion understands, he just...doesn’t say a thing or react much or even does anything. He marches to the beat of his own drum, except when Kevin gets his hands in the way and makes him stop the beat for a second.

“It’s almost like he’s autistic,” Lisette said.

“How’s that?”  Kevin asked.

“Too connected,” Lisette said.  “Too much in the way of stimuli, drowning everything out.”

“Enhanced hearing, hearing the whole city at once?”

“Maybe.  Or maybe he senses things we don’t,” she said.  “The most powerful person in the world, and looking at him now, he’s like a child.”

Huh. Interesting thought. I wonder if that’s what’s going on. Sensing too much at once, and willfully having to cut the connections to things – or perhaps even unconsciously as some sort of protection mechanism for his psyche. Could be, no? If so, it’s a bit of a miracle Kevin got through to him at all. Hmmm...lucky, that was.

“Why?  Why avoid him?”

Kevin didn’t take his eyes off the golden man.  “He scares me.  He chose me to listen to, of all people.  I’m the most powerful person in the world, just because of that.  Because I can tell the strongest, most capable man in the world what to do.”

Hmmmm...yeah, that sounds like it can be kind of unnerving. Scion is...a mystery. His origins are unknown, all that’s known is his actions, and those are thanks to Kevin. Kevin’s nudging is what has built Scion, pretty much.

At this point I just have to wonder if maybe there’s something up with Kevin and he doesn’t know it. I mean...there’s always the possibility Kevin is being deceitful in some way, but...I don’t know, something about him seems kind of sincere. I don’t think he’s hiding something. Why is Scion listening to him, of all people? There has to be a reason, no?

Still, that’s...such a scary thought. Because since Scion doesn’t even give any indication what he’s thinking, or how he’s interpreting things, if Kevin says a wrong word some bad stuff could happen, and I think Kevin is well aware of that. Honestly, anyone would be terrified. I know I would.

It seems Scion returned every once in a while just to listen to Kevin talk. Kevin just...tended to oblige, not really minding it much, until one night Kevin said something. Something that somehow got a reaction from Scion, and given how it was established he doesn’t bother reacting to anything, that’s very significant. Kevin doesn’t say what it is, but later Scion said it and the entire world latched onto it. That scared Kevin to no end. Okay, what was it? No way this intermission won’t say it! With all that’s been said about it, Mr. Wildbow just has to, no? I want to know!

“What did you say, if the word wasn’t Scion?” Lisette asked.

Ah, I see. So, I don’t really remember the details about Scion’s one and only word, but I faintly recall it was, well, ‘Scion’, and that’s why they’re calling him that. It seems Kevin said something and Scion latched onto it, but it actually was a word similar to that one.

Shenanigans ensue when it’s revealed it was actually Xion, because Kevin is a huge Kingdom Hearts fan and wanted to share some theories he had been building.

Okay, no, hah! Just joking. That’s just what came to mind when trying to think of something similar to ‘Scion’. I got nothing, I admit. Can’t think of a word.

“Only realized later.  Was talking about home, religion and family.  Talking about a memory from my childhood.  Don’t even remember it that well, now.  But the word he paid attention to was Zion.”

“That’s Hebrew, isn’t it?”

I went to search ‘Zion’ in Google, of course. The first result is Zion, a reggaeton singer, but unless Scion here is about to bust out some urban rhythm, that can’t be it. The next result sounds more like it:

Zion (Hebrew: צִיּוֹן‎ Ṣîyōn, LXX Σιών, also variously transliterated Sion, Tzion, Tsion, Tsiyyon) is a placename in the Hebrew Bible used as a synonym for Jerusalem as well as for the Land of Israel as a whole (see Names of Jerusalem).

That’s from Wikipedia, of course. So, as I see it, maybe it can be a hint about an origin. Nothing indicates Scion popped up into existence twenty years ago or whenever Scion first appeared floating in the air, maybe he has existed for way longer than that and heard that word before. Could be a hint about origins? Hm...

The other possibility is that it’s not so much something related to him, instead it’s something he’s familiar with. Or maybe he’s searching for it. I don’t know. Something’s up with that word, that’s all that’s plainly obvious. Doesn’t seem Kevin here has any ideas, either.

The reason why Kevin came here was to talk to Scion, and make a request. Seems that Kevin once told Scion to go fight the Endbringers, but he fears he wasn’t specific enough, that maybe he should have said to kill them so they couldn’t hurt anyone anymore. That because of that, Scion just...wasn’t bothering to try all he could to kill them, and that because of his bad choice of words, a lot of people have died. Boy that’s terrifying. It’s pretty much what I had said earlier. Part of me almost hopes this doesn’t work, if only so Kevin doesn’t blame himself for all the death and destruction.

Kevin is close to death. He came here to get his affairs in order, which he’s doing by telling Scion that about the Endbringers, and also by telling him to come to Lisette here if he ever needs anything.

Kevin sighed.  “I’m here to get my affairs in order, and you’re most important after Duke.  I want you to keep doing what you were doing.  Help people.  Try to communicate with the good guys more.  I told you to do that before and you didn’t listen, but you should.  And if there’s a problem, if you need someone to listen to, someone to visit from time to time, look for this young lady.  Lisette.  Because she’s good people.  She’s a better person than I am.  Braver.  Has to be braver, if she’s stopping to talk to a homeless motherfucker like me, following him someplace.”

Wow. That’s got to be pretty awful for Lisette. Here, Lisette, you deal with the superpowered guy who doesn’t even give any indication he wants to listen to you. Honestly, it’s a bit of a curse, given how much grief that brought Kevin, and how Lisette, who is privy to why exactly it made Kevin so antsy, will have to undergo it too. It sucks for her, honestly. Goodness gracious.

I’m not sure if Scion will come to her or not, but...what’s done is done, no? Guess she...well...will have to deal with it, if he does come. I know it’s not like Kevin could have asked her permission because really, who’d say yes? But still, wow, that’s rough for Lisette.

Of course, Lisette seems kind of panicked about this. With good reason!

Kevin didn’t turn around or stop walking as he raised his voice to respond over the sound of the pouring rain.  “Good deal, isn’t it?  Ten pounds to become the most powerful person in the world.”

Methinks she may be regretting giving those ten pounds, honestly. That’s pretty rough.

That’s where the interlude ends. I see the tags here, where the character names usually are written, only has ‘Scion’. I guess that means Lisette won’t appear anymore, which is...understandable, honestly. What are the odds she goes to hang out in Brockton Bay for no reason at all? As I see it, it’s possible she’ll appear in a future interlude, but that’s it. I hope she’ll be okay, even if she was given this burden to deal with.

So, the intermission was...it was interesting. Somehow, although half of the time I’m annoyed by intermissions, Mr. Wildbow always manages to deliver. I can’t remember an interlude I ended dissatisfied with. I guess next time the story continues! But for now, this update is over.

[greenninjagal-blog]

White Lily Guardian (pt2)

Summary: Virgil shows up at a funeral for his distance cousin, but someone forgot to tell him Remy named him the next-in-line guardian of his son Thomas. And taking care of a kid might just been the least of Virgil’s problems when Thomas’s (unpleasant) grandmother is in the mix.

Words: 3035

Part One

Featuring: Virgil, kid!Thomas, Emile Picani, and mentions of the dreaded dragon witch and best dad!remy (along with a car crash)

Taglist: @background-noise-headache @prplzorua @pumpkinminette @puns-and-patton 

General Taglist: @felicianoromano @jemthebookworm

“I’m sorry you had to find out this way,” Picani says, with a hint was resentment in his tone, about an hour after Madam Hydrus had removed herself from the property.

Virgil doesn’t say anything, but he agrees with the older man so much its nearly overwhelming. His mind is alarmingly quiet, his shoulders hunched in anticipation for the onslaught of pure, unadulterated panic he knows is coming: it feels a lot like he’s walking right next to a cliffside with a blindfold on—why is he doing this, why can’t he just take the blind fold off, why can’t he just walk away? Or better yet, why can’t he just fall already?

Then Picani will see that he is unfit to be a parent and he’ll be able to move Thomas to the next family member Remy picked out, someone who isn’t that awful snakelike lady that had made Thomas cry so hard. Thomas doesn’t deserve this, any of it.

He didn’t deserve to have his father taken away so suddenly, to have all these people look down on him with pity, to have someone who terrifies him very nearly take him away. He certainly doesn’t deserve to have someone as awful as Virgil come through and try to make up for everything he lost.

Virgil doesn’t even know what kind of person Remy was, much less what kind of dad. Was he the kind that wanted to be involved in every aspect of Thomas’s life? Did he bake cookies in the kitchen and show up to the PTA meetings and brag about how amazing Thomas was until every other parent hated him? Or was he a recluse? Did he let Thomas come to him with questions rather than go asking for them and never respond to teacher emails or show up to meetings because he knew everything that was important about Thomas already?

Virgil looks down at Thomas, who was tucked into his chest. Virgil is by no means the type of guy who works out, but even then, he can still carry Thomas from the front lawn into the house with only a mild amount of strain (Did Remy carry him like that? Oh, fuck, what if he was carrying the kid wrong?). The house is strangely quiet, and tense and the same feeling settles over them like a knife poised just between Virgil’s shoulder blades. Even Thomas’s sobs become breathless hiccups. Picani motions Virgil to follow him up the stairs and he’s struck by the strange amount of familiarity that the man has for this place.

Who was he again?

A lawyer of some sort? Someone who had access to Remy’s will at least.

Virgil doesn’t remember the upstairs of the house, which is really no surprise. He’d never dare exploring a house that wasn’t his even as an adult. There was something about it that his shoulders tense, waiting for someone to pop out of the rooms and ask him what he was doing. Even with Picani leading the way and Thomas in his arms, Virgil could feel the walls judging him.

There are pictures on the walls, but Picani doesn’t bother turning on the lights and its too dark to see what they are. Somehow that doesn’t help Virgil’s anxiety much.

They come to a room which Picani pushes open and turns on the light. Virgil hesitates to follow. He’s not sure why, because the room is far more inviting than the dark, dreary hallway. Thomas buries his head into Virgil’s shoulder, and it’s a little uncomfortable but he can’t bring himself to complain about it.

Inside the room it’s warm—in all senses of the word. Virgil feels like he stepped into a sauna the second his shoes slip through the doorway. It surprises him, slightly, because he hadn’t realized how cold he was until then. Beside that, its decorated like a kid’s paradise: action figures from several cartoons all over the place—some of which Virgil vaguely remembers from years and years ago with a tiny smile—poster from video games and Disney, and a coffee table had construction papers, glitter, and glue. Picani quickly walks to a rather large wooden desk (decorated in children’s crayon drawings of houses and dogs and blobs that probably meant something to a kid somewhere) and rifles through a stack of papers on the top of it.

When he turns back around, he’s holding a packet of papers that makes Virgil’s insides a little squeamish; it looks like a every instructional manual Virgil has ever been handed. Was this “How To Tell When Someone Is an Unfit Parent for Dummies”? Because Virgil could save them both time and just announce to him that he was the least fit person to be taking care of a kid. He had come to the funeral in a rented suit because he didn’t have one himself, there’s still paint on his knuckles that he couldn’t wash off in time for the service, and he forgets to eat at least twice a day.

Virgil’s childhood was limited to the tabulations of his parents’ moods towards him, but even he knows that he couldn’t take care of a small living human being when he could barely take care of himself most days. It isn’t fair to Thomas.

“Oh, uh,” Picani says, and vaguely motions to a couch that was decorated in handmade quilts, “You can, uh, set him down.”

Virgil feels more than stupid as he shuffles towards the couch and juggles the armful of Thomas that he has in order to set him on the couch. Especially when Thomas doesn’t let go of him and instead tightens his arms around Virgil’s neck.

“Don’t!” Thomas gasps between his hiccups.

“Thomas—” Virgil says softly, “I’m not going anywhere. I’ll be right next to you.”

He shakes with his whole body, and for a long moment Virgil worries that Thomas will never let him go again and they’ll be stuck together like a parasite and it’s host.

“Promise?” Thomas’s voice cracks Virgil’s heart right in half. He can feel the shards of it puncturing his lungs.

“How about this, you can hold my hand while we sit, okay?” Virgil suggests even though his own skin feels feverish and his neck itches where Thomas’s wrists had pressed against him. He can’t remember the last time he let someone touch him (it might have been Remy himself for all he knew).

Thomas’s arms move away, slowly, slowly, and then he buries his head in a blanket before Virgil can even see the tear tracks on his bright red cheeks. Virgil sits down right next to him and its only a second more before pudgy little kid fingers squeeze around his.

Virgil glances up at Picani to find the man watching the two of them with a painful smile. He wipes his eye with the sleeve his dress jacket and resets his glasses with a deep breath.

“I’m really sorry you had to find out this way.” He says again. “Remy was going to contact you this weekend to ask your permission, but he insisted that he needed it written legally sooner than that.”

“Why?” Virgil asks and even he isn’t sure what he means. Why did Remy choose him? Why didn’t Remy tell him sooner? Why did Remy get it legal written down in his will before he asked? Why was Virgil so scared right now?

Picani sighs heavily. He taps two fingers on the packet. “I wish I knew, Mr. Quies.”

Virgil flinches at the use of his last name. He never uses it if he can help it; too many bad memories growing up as part of the Quies family. He never fit in with them, never quite lived up to be anything other than a disappointment for his parents, never enjoyed the way it rolled of so many people’s tongues in a derogatory manner. When he had moved out—and away—he had started using the surname Storm. Virgil Storm sounded better, and it didn’t come with emotional baggage.

Virgil makes a noise in the back of his throat, somewhere between clearing it and trying to say something but not knowing what. He glances at Thomas.

“Picani—”

“Emile, actually, if you please,” He says with a wince.

“Emile,” Virgil corrects himself, “I don’t—Remy and I—I can’t….” He twists his bangs out of his face just to do something with his hand. The man in the half lenses waits patiently for Virgil to articulate himself. “I’ve never taken care of a kid.”

Thomas squeezes his hand tightly. Virgil thinks he lost feeling in two fingers, but he doesn’t try move.

“I’m not the best fit for Thomas’s caretaker. I didn’t even know Remy. We talked one time when we were kids. Are you sure it was me on that will and not someone else?”

Emile leans back against his desk, still careful not to crush any of the drawings. “I’m honestly not sure I’m the right person to ask. Remy and I were good friends, but even then we didn’t talk about everything. When he announced that he was changing his will to remove me as Thomas’s next-in-line guardian I thought it was a joke--”

Virgil’s stomach drops out at the comment. He feels sick again, the rolling nausea sweeping over him like a wave. That sounded right—all of it sounded right. Virgil didn’t know why someone would joke about that, but Remy had to have been joking because Emile was a well put together man, who Thomas knew better than he knew Virgil.

“Thank goodness it wasn’t.” Emile continues, much like a wrecking ball to the train of thought in Virgil’s head. It leaves his ears ringing.

“What?”

This time Emile looks at him with those dark eyes, “I love Thomas. I really do. But I can’t be his caretaker. I’d lose him.”

“Lose him?” Virgil repeats, remembering every time his parents had forgotten him at the supermarket or in the mall and the weekends were he just didn’t go home and no one was suspicious of it.

“Yes, um,” He fixes his glasses, “Due to a few infractions of the law in my childhood, I can’t legally adopt a child. I can run a therapist office,” He waves a hand around the room, “but I can’t have one of my own. Especially not Thomas.”

Virgil isn’t entirely unsure of what to make of that comment. First off Emile Picani looks a lot like a single breeze might knock him down, and the way he had shriveled up at the sight of Madam Hydrus wasn’t helping his case. However, he was also admitting that he at some point broke several laws? Laws that prevented him from taking care of a kid?

But this was Thomas.

“Madam Hydrus,” Emile says lightly. He picks up a figurine of Ursula from his desk and considers it. “She is Thomas’s mother’s mother. Extremely high class. Had she found out her daughter and Remy had been a thing back from Thomas’s birth, she undoubtedly would have put a stop to it. Her daughter—Thomas’s mother and Remy’s girlfriend at the time—died in childbirth due to a complication. Remy took it hard. Madam Hydrus took it harder.”

Emile sets the figurine back down. “She has been trying to gain custody of Thomas since his birth, declaring Remy an unfit parent. Every other week she had lawyers harassing them. I’m not sure what Thomas’s mother told Remy about her, but Remy refused to let her see him, refused to leave his son’s side when the woman was anywhere near.

“I believe her intention was to keeping sending lawyers in an attempt to run Remy out of money. When he no longer could support a child the judge would have to rule in her favor. However, Remy was a business major who knew how to maintain and predict the stock market.” Emile pauses, “That’s how we met actually. I asked him to help me learn the stock market. I’m a terrible student. But Remy tried, so hard. He was a good person. He really was. When my landlord kicked me out, he immediately offered me a few spare rooms here as long as I paid rent.”

Virgil nods, the sick feeling in his stomach bubbling. Beside him Thomas shifts again, quiet, oh-so-quiet. The warmth of the room makes his dress shirt collar stick to his neck.

“When Thomas turned three, Remy asked me to take guardianship of Thomas should anything happen to him. He was paranoid that Madam Hydrus would get tired of sending lawyers and might escalate to sending not-so-polite people. He wanted to make sure that if he did pass unexpectedly there would be someone else lined up to take in Thomas that was not Madam Hydrus.”

Virgil tenses, “What?”

“He—”

“Are you saying Madam Hydrus paid someone to kill Remy?” Virgil says. Oh, and there’s the panic: his foot has slipped off the steady edge of the metaphorical cliff and Virgil is free falling to his death. His lungs feel two sizes too small for his chest, and all the oxygen in the world doesn’t seem to be able to fill them. He rips his hand from Thomas’s and claws at his collar, struggles with the tie that is acting as a noose around his neck.

Remy was dead—Remy was dead because Madam Hydrus had him killed. Madam Hydrus was the same woman that Virgil just told off and then announced he would be taking in Thomas. What was stopping her from having him killed? Virgil was going to end up dead. By this time next week Virgil would be decorated with white lilies and people would be standing in his living room talking about how sad it was that he was gone.

“Mr. Quies! Virgil!” Emile is suddenly by kneeling by his side, “Virgil I need you to breathe with me. Breathe—In, yes hold it! Out….”

Virgil’s had panic attacks before. They normally leave him curled in the corner of his apartment with his own nails clawing through his hair, and his chest aching from too short of breaths. It’s another reason why he’s not fit to be a parent, because how can he take care of a kid when he can suddenly shut down like this. What if there was an emergency and Virgil wasn’t able to protect Thomas?

“In….” Emile says again, and Virgil strains to force his lungs to follow the instruction. “hold….Out….”

It takes a few minutes to calm him back down. It feels like hours. Actually the whole day has felt like eternity, drawing on and on and on. Virgil is suddenly aware that Emile in kneeling in front of him, speaking soothing words that mean absolutely nothing to him.

Thomas…

Virgil glances to his left where the kid had been, fully expecting Thomas to have bolted the second Virgil started acting weird. But he didn’t. Thomas is sitting there beside him, watery eyes and a nose fully of snot that he wipes on his arm.

“Dad… does that too,” Thomas says, between the sniffles.

Oh good, Virgil shares exactly one thing with Remy and it’s his panic attacks.

“Thomas,” Emile says quietly, “Can you grab a cup of water?”

Virgil has half a mind to tell them he doesn’t need a cup of water (He needs to have a chat with Remy and ask him what the hell he was thinking), but Thomas is already up and dashing out of the room. Virgil sinks back into the couch.

“I’m so sorry, Mr. Quies—”

“Virgil.” He rasps out because the name is causing him to flinch and he doesn’t have the energy to suppress it anymore. “Virgil, or Storm, or anything that isn’t that name.”

“Virgil,” Emile nods like it isn’t weird at all, “That was my fault. I wasn’t paying attention to my words. Madam Hydrus did not so anything…illegal. The police found no sign of foul play. Remy was driving on too little sleep and he slid off the road, into a tree.”

Which Virgil had read all about in the obituaries online during the flight here. Which he knew was the truth. Which didn’t stop the feeling in his gut from twisting over and over like some mutant alien parasite.

“Remy was paranoid,” Emile says with a sad frown, “But he made up his mind. He wanted someone he trusted who didn’t have a record that Madam Hydrus could exploit in court.”

“Am I…the only one?” Virgil asks.

Emile makes a face that tells him the answer. Of course, he is. That’s why they’re having this conversation. That’s why it’s Virgil’s name on the will and not anyone else’s.

“He left you most of his finances,” Emile says, “As long as you agree to take care of Thomas.”

“I am the least fit person to take care of any kid, Emile,” Virgil reiterates because all the money in the world won’t change that fact.

Thomas scoots back into the room, with a bathroom cup of water that he’s trying very hard no to spill. He gives it to Virgil, before climbing up on the couch next to him again. Before Virgil knows what he’s doing he runs his hand through Thomas’s hair, and the kid almost flops into him.

Emile watches the entire thing with a miniscule smile on his lips.

“I beg to differ, Virgil,” He says, “I think you are the most fit person.”

Virgil isn’t sure what it is about the other man, about the room, about Thomas, but sitting there, exhausted out of his mind, he thinks that Emile isn’t entire right (because after all Remy was the best person to take care of his kid), but Virgil might just be willing to try.

“I’ll get in contact with Remy’s lawyers.” Emile promises.

Virgil nods to show that he heard, but all he can really focus on is the softness of Thomas hair and the weight of the kid on his shoulder. He sinks back into the couch.

“You should get some sleep.”

Virgil is way ahead of him.

[dhominis]

Life updates! Rambling, happy. CW for disordered eating and Bad Family Dynamics. (Happy despite this.)

I’ve been in my new apartment for a while; it‘s amazing and I love having a place that is mine. A few days after I moved in, I stayed over at my girlfriend’s house because I didn’t really want to put the effort into going all the way back to my apartment and I had this thought: I want to go home.

This is not something I’ve experienced before. Home always has been my parents’ house, and home’s always been a place for caution, for guardedness. It has not historically been a place I wanted to stay. It’s been a place that’s better than the alternatives, but never somewhere that was itself comforting.

...And now going home means I get to go into my room (and it’s mine, I would be entirely justified in being angry if someone went into it and looked through my things and took things and questioned me about what they found). And then I can reorganize my room if I want (I can move furniture around! I can buy furniture! I can throw broken things away if I want to!), I can cook something, take a shower without having to justify why I’m taking a shower, I can clean up the side yard if I’m restless, I can clean the apartment. I can be in my room on my phone talking to my girlfriend, and probably nobody is listening in, and if somebody is listening in that’s still not dangerous. I can go on a walk, I can go over to a friend’s place, I can meet people somewhere, and I don’t have to explain this.

I don’t have to be on guard.

Been doing social things – poly community and, uh, adjacent less-SFW communities. Socializing is... easier now. (A lot of things are easier!) I am still extremely awkward but not in an intractable way; I expect this to dissipate with practice. People like me. They’ll like me more when I have better social skills and this is achievable.

...I asked a cute girl what her favorite pathogen/parasite was (this was relevant to the conversation!) and she said she really liked botflies and just. I can’t. I have always had to be the one who brings up botflies! Talking about botflies historically has worked out really well for me – it’s a great filter? – and I am so incredibly enthused about this. (We’re getting coffee tomorrow. I really need evo-bio disease-bio friends, and she is smart and nice and extroverted and gives great hugs. Things like “asking cool people to get coffee with me” also are easier. And “sending an email” and “answering the phone” and a lot of things along those lines. There has been a strangely global reduction in inhibition and anxiety.)

I got a job. Not the call center one I mentioned, instead entry-level healthcare. It’s pretty much ideal! Learning skills, interacting with people, IIRC they’ll do some tuition reimbursement if I go into healthcare (that’ll help until I hit the FAFSA independent student age cutoff). Fast-paced work, twelve-hour shifts and free time on my days off. Not having to self-motivate. I think I need that right now. The person who suggested I apply for this job can model my brain surprisingly well.

(In some contexts better than I can. I hadn’t generated this as a career option, hadn’t thought it would be even sort of good until he explained how it might fit. A post a while ago: "...he understands, I think, the need to be active and moving, doing a lot of different things, short feedback cycles. For me – probably for him as well – high-intensity stressful periods of limited duration are regulating or calming, not harmful. I keep fantasizing about getting the job, just going nonstop at maximum intensity for those twelve-hour shifts, and then coming home and… not doing that. Being able to use the time for other things, hopefully having burned off some of the excess energy so I’m not pacing around organizing things really fast for twelve hours at home.”)

And they’re giving me health insurance after a few months.

It’s... I really need enrichment. I need to be busy. Right now I am not in a high-stress environment and I am waiting for things to happen, there is not much I can get done right now (lots of cooking, going on walks, occasional bodyweight exercise, self-teaching reading ECG strips, but I am not yet good at self-motivation). I am the human equivalent of a pretty competent border collie that will, if left without adequate stimulation, herd every squirrel in the neighborhood into your kitchen.

But I start work Monday, and after that things will be easier.

Almost everything has, in fact, been easy. I can feel many of the anxieties falling away, many of the maladaptive behaviors. I am investing effort in this, but not enough to merit the improvement.

I have been realizing that living with my parents took up so much mental bandwidth. The personality and cognitive and life-skills improvements that I’ve seen in the few brief periods I’ve been away from them... I should’ve left earlier, of course. I would have been okay. I didn’t know that before recently, but it would’ve have been better.

So the cognitive changes are substantial. Behavioral too. I have for a while had great difficulty in eating adequate food – I mean, often going a few days without eating, going months with inadequate caloric intake, rapid enough unintentional weight loss that doctors have been loudly concerned. (There is a physical thing that I have been blaming completely for this, but honestly it’s not just that, there’s an irrational aversion to eating. Caloric deprivation always makes me want to eat less – want to hoard food, conserve it for when I really need it. I go into a famine mindset very easily; when hungry, I find it difficult to alieve that food is available. And the physical problems are worsened by not wanting to eat. I tolerate food worse when I don’t make myself eat regularly.)

It’s not effortless; minor inconveniences tend to make me want to stop eating and I don’t ever really want food. (Cooking and baking my own food helps. It is easier to want to eat when eating is part of a skill-building process.) But now, and not before: I need adequate nutrition and when I don’t want to eat I can just tell myself no, you need food, you want to feed yourself, you don’t want to lose muscle mass, you don’t want to lose fat, you don’t have to conserve food because there will always be enough. And I miss meals sometimes, still... but when that happens, I can make myself eat when I notice. Peanut butter interspersed with enough water doesn’t really feel like food and I can pretty much always do that.

And sleeping. And physical activity. And social interaction. It is getting easier to give myself the things I need. Sometimes when you do not have any realistic chance of global comfort, when your life will despite your best efforts be almost unbearably unpleasant, choosing your own mode of suffering makes it easier to tolerate. Adjusting to a situation in which I do not need to expect suffering is... strange.

So – I got a job and an apartment and I’m finding a friend group and I am doing okay with finances, and long-term things will be okay, and my brain has so many things wrong with it but I am fixing myself.

This all has been startlingly easy so far and I am waiting for something to go wrong. This is prudent – something will go wrong eventually, I’ll be able to handle it but it will happen – and also just really neurotic. Still I’m less neurotic than at any other point in my life.

And I have health insurance! I probably can get an ADHD evaluation and treatment, therapy if I decide that’s a good idea, whatever. (Potential issue with ADHD treatment: I’d have to go to the pharmacy like every month, it would suck so much, I have never done this successfully. Thankfully there is a pharmacy in my workplace. I am so lucky.) And I have social supports, I have a community. My roommates are great. I have my partner; she’s unbelievably amazing.

Leaving has gone better than the realistic best-case scenarios I’d generated. It’s been like a month and there is definitely time for things to go badly but I also think things going badly will be less bad than I had expected it to be, if that makes sense.

I’m happy. I expect to stay that way.

[btspremiumtrash]

Cirque de Bangtan (j.jk x p.jm) part 3

⇓ Ship: Jeongguk x Jimin

⇓ Genre: Series, Non-idol! AU, Enemies to Lovers, Supernatural AU, Circus AU, Eventual Smut

⇓ Summary: Jeongguk recently moved from Busan to big city Seoul. His parents kicked him out. Something about “You’re 22 and still living with your parents. Get the hell out and get a damn job!”

He couldn’t hear them as he was two steps ahead of them by packing up his bags and slamming the door in their faces. Every interview he got, he never heard back from them. Most of his days were spent just trying to find somewhere to rest his head and drown his sorrows. Life is hard when things aren’t spoon-fed to you as Jeongguk comes to realize.

Now he’s all by his lonesome. Luckily for him, he finds a flyer. A potential job. A circus job yes, but he was desperate for any sort of payment. Little did he know, life as he knew it was about to get a whole lot more interesting… Werewolves. Vampires. Clowns. Not even God could prepare Jeongguk for the complete turnaround on his once normal lifestyle.

⇓ Word ct.: 4.5k

⇓ Warnings: cussing, pg-13

⇓ Chapter 1, Chapter 2

Masterlist

“Miss Kim,” Mr. Jeon said to Jennie. “Have you ever thought of my son as attractive?”  

She hesitated. Of coursed she has. Every girl who had a good pair of eyes could recognize the sheer beauty that was the son of Mr. Jeon. Although Jeongguk and her were forced to hang out, she never thought of it like that. She thought of him like a, albeit annoying, little brother. That was until Jeongguk was kicked out. That was the one time in her life that she felt truly worried about him. For he was the first person that her father forced her to interact with that she felt something other than an obligation for her family name’s sake to keep in touch with. She has always wanted to get him back since then. But she didn’t know where to start.  

It was something about Jeongguk. There’s always something about a certain someone that just makes you want to risk everything just for them to be happy. And for Jennie, that certain someone was Jeon Jeongguk.  

“Not in a romantic way but I have noticed his charms, Mr. Jeon, sir. I think of him as more of a friend.”  

Mr. Jeon grinned. “Good. Because I have a proposition for you.”  

“What is it?”  

“You’ve heard the tragic news that he was kicked out of the Jeon house, correct?”  

Jennie nodded. Anybody that was anybody in connection with the Jeons has heard. If you didn’t hear about it, you were probably a commoner. Hence why when Jeongguk was forced to the streets, no one knew about him or his family. It shocked him at first. And it still shocks him. No one knows what his family does for these people. Weird. Regardless, Mr. Jeon continue his plan. “Well, my wife has been worried sick as I’m sure you have as well. I am asking you to find him and check on him.”  

What he failed to mention is the fact that Mr. Jeon purposely cut Jeongguk off from his wife’s endearment of giving him a 3k allowance, saying that he had to work to earn a living. He doubted that he still lived in the same hotel since it’s been a month when Mrs. Jeon sent in the last check. But Jennie didn’t need to know those details. For now, keeping her in the dark would make her want to search for Jeongguk all the more useful. The real reason he wanted Jeongguk found was so that he could watch his son suffer even more. That’ll teach him a lesson for being a parasitic brat that leeches off their money.  

“It would be my pleasure to locate your son for you, sir.”  

He grinned again, trying to make it look more sincere than devilish. “That would be much appreciated, Miss Kim. My wife and I will be overjoyed to hear the news when you find him. If you need anything at all, please don’t hesitate to come back or give us a call. Good luck my dear.”  

Jennie made her way back to her limousine, thinking about the best way to approach this situation. Her sister, Jisoo was in the car waiting for Jennie to return from the strange visit Mr. Jeon requested. Jennie asked her to join her just in case things were to turn ugly. Although there was nothing that Jennie hid from the man, he never requested the child of the Kim family before. Usually, he does business with the grownups. Hence why Jennie was cautious and took her elder sister to accompany her.  

As soon as the door was closed by the driver, Jisoo wasted no time in getting Jennie to spill the juicy details. She wrapped her hands around her sister’s shoulders in excitement, urging her to talk immediately, “Well don’t keep me in suspense! What happened?”  

Jennie looked at her dead in her eyes. She exhaled the breath she didn’t realize she was holding in and looked at her sister from across the limo. “He wanted to ask about Jeon Jeongguk.”  

“The Jeon Jeongguk?”  

The younger sister nodded, prompting for Jisoo to continue getting information out of her. “Did he give you permission to find him or something?”  

“He did. But I don’t where—”  

Jisoo silenced her sister with a finger over her lips. “Say less, little sister. I know a certain family friend that has the answers you’re looking for.”  

Jennie tilted her head to the side in confusion. “Really? How come you didn’t say anything until now?”  

“Because you needed permission to do so.” Jisoo matter-of-factly replied. “I’m not going to let my wittle sister get involved with missing person cases unless she did it. But now that you are, I can help you. Ready to get started?”  

Jennie smiled happily, pleased that her sister is assisting her with finding Jeongguk. Also, for the fact of not disclosing such connections to Jennie when Jeongguk first went missing. Lord knows what she would’ve done if she knew about this “family friend” Jisoo knows. “Let’s do this.”  

--  

Jeongguk woke up at around 3 pm to the sound of someone knocking on his hotel door. It wasn’t impatiently, more like soft knocks that could barely be heard if he wasn’t such a light sleeper. Based on those knocks, he could tell that it was Lisa. If it weren’t for him landing that circus job when he did, he would still be busking right about now. Matter of fact, he would’ve been out the door about two hours ago because it’s pretty busy with the lunch hour. More people meant more business. He would always catch Lisa working and she would wish him luck every day. Maybe she was checking in on him since she hadn’t seen him walk downstairs yet today. How sweet.  

Hopping out of his bed and putting on some sweatpants and a plain T-shirt, he opened the door, revealing that it was indeed Lisa knocking so lightly. But the person beside her made his eyebrows raise in bewilderment. She smiled brightly, then saying, “Hopefully I didn’t wake you up. Your friend, Hoseok—”  

“Friend?”  

She was cut off by Jeongguk at the mention of the man he only met last night claiming to be his friend. He didn’t even know he was a co-worker, let alone his friend. Is that the excuse he used to get Lisa to show him to his room? Regardless, Lisa continued even though Jeongguk interrupted her. Usually, Lisa would playfully hit the back of Jeongguk’s head for butting in whenever she spoke. But not this time, which prompted Jeongguk to be a little wary.  

“Yes. He’s here to tell you more about your job at the circus.”  

Jeongguk’s blood began to boil with anger. Lisa wasn’t supposed to know about his newfound job. He still wasn’t ready to tell her. But now she knows. And it’s all because of this card dealer of a co-worker he has to thank later. Or to be more accurate, beat the living shit out of him.  

“What?!” He shouted. You could practically see the smoke emitting from the top of the head. “He told you?!”  

Hoseok finally spoke, rolling his eyes as he did so. “Relax. She doesn’t actually know.” He turned his attention to Lisa, waving his hand in front of her eyes. She didn’t even blink. “See? She’s not even conscious right now. You’re free to go, love.”  

With a wink of his eyes, Lisa walked back to the elevator with no hesitation and Hoseok invited himself into the hotel room, sitting himself down on the loveseat and crossing his legs together. Jeongguk, still angered by the fact a stranger lied to his friend and used her against him, closed his door and crossed his arms across his chest, leaning on his door.  

“What the fuck do you want? What the actual fuck did I just witness back there with Lisa? Who the hell are you to just hypnotize my friends to get them to do your bidding?”  

Hoseok held his hands up in defeat, chuckling at the questions Jeongguk was mercilessly throwing at him. “Whoa there, partner. Calm down.”  

Jeongguk mimicked Hoseok’s usage of the last three words. He was this close to throwing hands with the man. “Partner? Calm down?”  

“Look,” Hoseok uncrossed his legs, choosing to man spread instead. He looked intimidatingly at the younger man. If looks could kill, Jeongguk would have been killed twice over. Almost like Jimin did the other night when his temper got the best of him. Almost. The only difference was that Hoseok could control his anger and use it to his advantage, just as he was now. “You want answers, right? Then shut up for a second and let me explain myself.”  

Jeongguk groaned in defeat. Both Jimin and this Hoseok fellow just exude such a scary aura when provoked. His one weakness. Something that Jeongguk wished he had. Unfortunately, he only had a bratty, short-tempered attitude that always got him into more trouble than if he just kept his damn mouth shut. “Fine.”  

Hoseok smirked. “Good. Anyways, to answer all your questions at once, I need to answer that one about what I did to your beautiful hotelier. Long story short: I’m a vampire and I compelled her to bring me here to explain to you about the types of people you’ve chosen to work with. You are working with other supernatural beings like myself. Park Jimin, along with Kim Namjoon are werewolves. Meanwhile, me, Min Yoongi, and Kim Taehyung are vampires. The only other human is Kim Seokjin which I’m sure you’ve met before, correct?”  

Jeongguk was too busy trying to make sense of all the information he was dumped with to answer Hoseok’s question. He couldn’t even meet the other’s gaze because he feared that if he did, he would be compelled just like Lisa possibly did. He didn’t exactly know how vampires worked. Or werewolves to be honest. He thought they were just myths. But no. No, they’re very much real. Just ask his compelled hotelier. Is this what being privileged is like? Not knowing that commoners deal with these creatures every single day, cohabitating with them? Being raised to think that there are no such things as supernatural beings? He thought that having a sheltered life was awesome (until he was kicked out). But now his whole world is turning upside-down. He doesn’t know what to think anymore.  

The silence was starting to annoy Hoseok, so he kept filling the room with his voice. “I’ll take the silence as a yes. Anyways, Namjoon, our leader and owner of Cirque de Bangtan, thought it’d be best if you knew about this. He also mentioned that if you feel uncomfortable working with us now that you know about our true nature, you’re free to resign.”  

Resign? But then he’d have to go back to busking. Busking now wouldn’t feel the same as the adrenaline he felt when he was on stage last night performing. No, he needed that. He craved that kind of attention again. He may not be able to make sense of the supernatural part of Hoseok’s lecture, but he sure as hell knew that resigning would mean the end of proving that old man of Jeongguk’s wrong. “Like hell I am.”  

Hoseok scoffed, not taking that as a real answer. He wanted to try and knock some sense into the kid before he truly made the conscious decision to continue to work alongside him and the rest of the crew. “Really? I just told you that your co-workers are man-hunting creatures of the night—”  

“I don’t give a damn if you were a Yeti in disguise. I still want to work at Cirque de Bangtan.”  

Still unsure about Jeongguk’s very strong-headed answer, he tried to dissuade him again. “Do you even know anything about vampires or werewolves?”  

With that same boldness in his voice, Jeongguk answered, “Not a clue.”  

The vampire whistled lowly. Jeez, they weren’t lying when they said that pampered kids are as clueless to the outside world as they are rich. “Oh boy, you’ve got a lot to learn. Come, sit. You’ll know everything you’ll need to know by the time your performance starts tonight. A vampire’s promise.”  

Jeongguk took his seat right next to the bloodsucker. It took more restraint than he thought to keep Hoseok from sinking his teeth into him right then are there. If Jeongguk noticed the slight eye color change of Hoseok’s eyes from his usual brown to red for a few seconds after he sat down, he didn’t comment on it. Yoongi wasn’t kidding when he said there was something weird about Jeongguk. His blood smelt like absolute heaven. Just like the snake charmer said it did when he first met Jeongguk. He would need some blood packs from Taehyung once he got back to the circus to relieve his cravings before he acted on them.  

“Let’s get started.”  

--  

Once the lecture was complete, it was almost time for Jeongguk to perform. Almost ten minutes actually. Jeongguk began to panic. He paced back and forth in his room, debating on the fastest way to get there, change, and be ready to perform for the night. Thumb caught in between his teeth, he mumbled, “I knew I shouldn’t have listened to him ramble on. All I know now is about bloodsuckers and I didn’t even want to learn anything about that. Fuck my life.”  

“You know I can hear you right?”  

Jeongguk glanced over at the vampire who basically held him hostage in his hotel room. He sighed, “Yes, I know you can hear me.”  

Hoseok got up from his seat and placed a hand on Jeongguk’s shoulder. “So, you also know that I can us there in about two seconds, right?”  

Jeongguk gasped in surprise. His eyes began to light up with hope. “You can?”  

The vampire shook his head in disappointment. “Have you learned nothing from what I talked about, child?”  

Putting a finger to his chin to signify he was thinking very hard about the talk he just had with him, Jeongguk attempted to answer, “Well—”  

“Don’t answer that,” Hoseok would rather not be even further disappointed in Jeongguk than how he is right now given the fact that he just went over the supernatural abilities he possesses. Including super speed and his heightened senses. “Just—if you ever have any questions about the supernatural world, don’t be afraid to come to me, alright? I don’t want you to be scared of me or anyone else working alongside you. We’re good people. Even Jimin on his good days.”  

Wonder when those will be. He kept that statement to himself, thankful that Hoseok doesn’t possess the ability to read his thoughts. Instead, Jeongguk praised the vampire for his kind gesture. “Thank you so much, Hoseokie-hyung!”  

Hoseok tensed up at that name. He hasn’t been called since... Since the last time, he was human. And that name still pains him whenever anyone called his name. “Please, don’t call me that. Hobi is just fine if you really wanna give me a nickname.”  

Jeongguk’s smile faded away, noting how serious Hoseok was at what he called him. He tilted his head down in shame. “Sorry...”  

Hoseok chuckled, ruffling Jeongguk’s hair to get him to cheer up. “Hey, now. It’s fine. You didn’t know. But we don’t have time to get into details because we’ve got a show to catch! Let’s a-go!”  

Jeongguk laughed right along with Hoseok’s antics. He hoped that they could get close enough to tell him about the reason he didn’t want Jeongguk to call him that. Must be rough. Jeongguk knows that for sure based on how the words that followed the nickname that came from Hoseok were ice cold. But for now, it took only a blink of an eye for the two of them to arrive at Cirque de Bangtan.  

“And here we are with six minutes to spare.” Hoseok winked.  

“I owe you one.”  

Hoseok’s eyes widened at that. “Trust me on this one, kid. You don’t wanna owe me. I am a vampire after all.”  

Jeongguk thought about that for a moment. Keep in mind, it was only a few minutes ago he learned that vampires sucked the blood of humans to stay alive. Now here he was, words away from letting himself become a personal blood bag to Hoseok had he kept his mouth shut. He thanked Hoseok again for reminding him of his being and ran off into the clothing tent to get changed.  

Another man, who seemed to be waiting for him, leaned against the wooden pole that held the tent up. He flashed a smirk that showed his fangs. Vampire. Jeongguk concluded in his head. Meanwhile, the vampire bowed his head slightly, trying to signify that he wasn’t a threat. “Hello there, Jeon Jeongguk. I’m Kim Taehyung, the palm reader slash psychic slash fortune-teller of the group. Oh, and second resident vampire. See the fangs? I bet Hoseok told you a lot about us.”  

He could not seem to stop talking. He’s wasting my time with this rambling. But before Jeongguk could mind his own business and get ready to perform, Taehyung stopped him again. “Now, I know what you’re thinking: ‘Oh my god, he’s wasting my time like a freaking arsehole when I’ve got a show to do’. And you’re right in thinking that but hear me out first. After your show is over, come to my tent and I can read your future. I’ll even do it for free~.”  

Jeongguk rolled his eyes, clearly fed up with whatever this other vampire had to say. “Fine, whatever. I’ll come over to your tent after I’m done. Can you go now?”  

Taehyung jumped in excitement. “Hooray! I’ll see you then, Jeonggukie! By the way, it’s the one that has black and green stripes!”  

He cringed on that last part. He hated it when people called him Jeonggukie. Only his mother got to call him that. Then one day, Jang Yee Eun spread the rumor to the other spoiled rich kids when she caught Jeongguk’s mother addressing him that when she was over with her family to discuss matters with his father. Ever since, he’s hated anything to do with Yee Eun, the Jang family, and that godforsaken name. But, by the time he was about to call Taehyung out on it, he was already out of the tent. Damn his supernatural speed.  

Whatever. Guess he’ll be seeing him tonight away. Maybe then he could give him a piece of his mind. But right now, he’s got an audience to attend to. No time like the present. And he knows just the song he’s going to sing to them. A personal piece that he’s been working on when he was still at his mansion. Whenever he wasn’t “hanging out with his friends”, he would write songs. None of them ever made a good impression on him. Either the words he wrote were saying too much or nothing at all. There was never really a balance so to speak whenever he composed a song. Except for this song. “Decalcomania”.  

--  

Jeongguk was right to perform such a song that he was working so hard on. Rightfully so in his opinion, because he received a generous round of applause along with even more cheering, money, and smiles on the people’s faces than yesterday’s performance. Supernatural beings be damned. He could take on working with the Devil himself if it met being able to be on stage like this with the crowd adoring you like this. Nothing could replace this feeling.  

With Seokjin announcing that it was time for everyone to leave, Jeongguk collected his money and roses—choosing to leave the bras and other various objects that were thrown at him during his performance—and headed back to changing tent to switch his outfit. He surely didn’t forget about that damn Taehyung’s proposition that he basically forced on him and wouldn’t leave him alone until he gave him the answer he was looking for.  

So it was that same Taehyung’s tent that he was currently looking for. By the way, it’s the one that has black and green stripes! He recalls that Taehyung added that bit of information at the end when he left the tent. It was almost like he could see into the future. But, Hoseok never mentioned anything about vampires having that ability. Then again, Taehyung is a fortune teller. Doing things like that must be a coincidence. There’s no way he could do that. Not even a vampire.  

Jeongguk arrived at Taehyung’s tent and was greeted by a familiar face he was praying he didn’t have to run into today. Park Jimin the werewolf. Jeongguk tried not to groan in annoyance, seeing as he was exhilarated from what he experienced just moments ago before running into to Jimin. Everything was going fine until then, but Jeongguk had no intention of letting things turn sour now just because of seeing his face tonight.  

Taehyung, sensing the tension in the room once the two of them locked eyes, attempted to diffuse the situation by bringing his hands up in the air and waving them around to get Jeongguk to focus on him instead of Jimin. “Don’t worry. He’s just here because I also promised him a palm reading. So, I decided to squeeze you both into the same time slot. Isn’t that great?”  

Jimin scoffed, mumbling under his breath so that only Taehyung could hear, “You know exactly why you brought us here.”  

That comment made Taehyung kick the back of Jimin’s knee, causing Jimin to let out a shout of pain. Taehyung pouted, “That’s what you get for being mean.” He straightened up his stature and was now addressing the human and the werewolf on what to do. “Now, the two of you can take your seats next to each other and we can let the palm reading begin!”  

Jeongguk took his seat, followed by Jimin. Jeongguk was really trying his best not to be awkward and shift around in his seat. Meanwhile, Jimin was completely fine. He could care less about whatever the human thought of him. His opinion didn’t matter to him. Unless of course, that opinion had something to do about Cirque de Bangtan. In which case, that opinion better be good or else it was Jeongguk’s head.  

Or maybe his thighs?  

Jimin had let his eyes wander until they were met with the sheer thickness of Jeongguk’s thighs. Now his thoughts were being to cloud up with bad intentions like last night. But instead of fantasies about his back, it was his fucking thighs. Had his mind really sunk so low? He’s started to believe it to be so.  

Judging by the fact that he was so blanked out by his thoughts that he couldn’t hear when Taehyung was speaking to him, he’s gotta stay away from that part of his mind again, less he gets a boner right in front of the man who caused it. And Hell knows that would take a lot of explaining from him that even he couldn’t explain fully.  

Did it happen again? Taehyung telepathed to him.  

Just—make it quick, please.  

Taehyung nodded, finally beginning his palm reading act. He started by reaching out for Jeongguk’s hand and tracing the lines that adorned the front side of his hand. As traced them, he read off whatever he could interpret. “It seems like you had a decent childhood. Got everything any spoiled rich kid could ever want. But things took a turn for the worse...”  

When Taehyung said that last line, he glanced at Jeongguk to make sure he’s getting his information right. But Jeongguk refused to meet his eyes, which let Taehyung know that he was indeed assuming the truth and let him continue. “Although that happened to you, I sense that something—or someone—will make whatever happen to you worth it. I can guarantee it.”  

“Oh yeah?” Jeongguk questioned with a raised eyebrow. “Guess I better start playing the lottery, so I can get that something.”  

The vampire and the werewolf both rolled their eyes with how sarcastic Jeongguk’s response was to his palm reading. But it was the werewolf who spoke up about it. “You know, you didn’t have to come here.”  

Jeongguk chuckled wryly, arising from his seat and making his way to the exit. “Oh, trust me, I know I didn’t.”  

Jimin also rose from his seat to throw an intense glare to the boy. “Then why did you?”  

“Because I wanted to see if you were legit.” Jeongguk turned his attention toward the vampire, who was not phased at all with what was going on, even though by the look of it, he could tell the situation was escalating. He knew that it wouldn’t become violent, but it could certainly lead to it. “But I see now that you’re just like every other psychic reader that cheats people and tells them the shit they wanna hear.”  

Jimin growled, but Jeongguk didn’t seem to care. He kept on walking right outside of the tent and back to his living quarters, ignoring the stare and the growls from the werewolf. He was too pissed to care. Not only did he really not want to come here because Taehyung basically stalled until Jeongguk said yes, but he didn’t even get the response he was looking for. That he would finally be able to purchase that mansion back from his parents. He couldn’t give a damn if Jimin threatened him or not.  

Before Jimin could chase him, Taehyung put a hand on Jimin’s shoulder. “Don’t. He didn’t mean what he said, Jiminie.”  

Jimin sighed, not taking that for a real answer. “You’re serious right now? Because by the way he was talking, he seemed pretty damn sure of what he said.”  

“He’ll come back to apologize. He just didn’t get what he wanted me to say. That’s why he’s angry. Trust me, these things happen all the time with regular customers. I’m over it. Let’s head out for a drink, yeah?”  

“Fine. But you’re buying.”  

Taehyung chuckled slyly, “Okay. Oh, and by the way, you better be lucky the boy didn’t turn around. Or he would’ve seen just how hard you secretly are for him. Dirty mutt.”  

Jimin gasped, looking down to witness the very clearly visible tent in his pants. His face couldn’t hide his embarrassment. He could barely defend himself before Taehyung was in an unstoppable laughing rampage, waking up Min Yoongi who quickly shut him down before he continued any further. Damn that Jeon Jeongguk. He’d say fuck him, but that’s exactly what he wants to do to him right now. But he can’t bring himself to admit that. No, he would never submit to his primal urges like that. Never.

[doodlegoodness]

I love being part of something so I’m also filling out the character questionnaire 

Full name

Aderyn Tyto

Preferred name/nickname

Ryn

Generally referred to as

Ryn

Appearance.

FACECLAIM: Those pictures of happy barn owls on the internet. All of them.  SEX: A lady bird.  HEIGHT: Ryn is a whopping 4′8″. WEIGHT: 80 lb. BUILD: Ryn has hollow bones, being a bird and all, but she’s fairly muscular for her kind. The equivalent build of a runner! HAIR: She is covered in Beautiful and Soft feathers, mostly a lighter cream color with dustings of darker brown around her wings and eyes.  SKIN: Ryn is SOFT. Ryn is FLUFFY. Ryn has a VERY INTENSIVE FEATHER CARE ROUTINE EYES: Ryn’s eyes are a very gentle deep brown.  MOUTH: Ryn’s got a lil’ beak. Good for eating bugs.  NOSE: BEAK. HANDS: Ryn’s hands resemble her taloned feet anatomy-wise. Long, thin fingers with well maintained talons at the ends. The insides of her hands are rather soft (squishiness similar to that of a cat’s toe beans), but still show callouses from a life of working, as well as small nicks and scratches closer towards the backs of her hands. FEET: Good ol’ sturdy talons. Heavily textured and calloused on the bottom due to never wearing a show in her life.  SCARS: Other than the various small ones on her hands and feet, Ryn has been thankful for healing magic to prevent any other scarring.  CLOTHES: A collection of airy layering, so to speak. Other than Ryn’s leather armor (a breastplate and bracers), she has a red cowl, a loose muted green tunic with a long back, a belt around her waist as well as a (dark red/maroon) sash, fitting under her armor, that crosses from her right shoulder down her front, ending at around her knees. And, since skirts/robes are not recommended for flying folk, Ryn also wears very lightweight, brown harem-style pants (it looks like a skirt/robe to anyone not looking too close). OTHER FEATURES: Ryn has very large, very lovely wings.  OTHER NOTEABLE FEATURES: Ryn has a necklace with Syranita’s symbol that she visibly wears around her neck- An opal with a lovingly cared for feather pendant dangling just under it.

Speech.

VOICECLAIM: She is a BIRD. ACCENT: Not exaaactly an accent, per say, but Ryn’s voice has just a hint of hollowness to it, similar to that of a woodwind instrument, including the sort of sing-song quality bits depending on the words.  VERBAL TICKS: “Whos” can become hoots at times. And every now and then beginnings and ends of words have a sort of chirring sound attached to them.  LANGUAGE: Ryn speaks Common and Aarokocra, Aarokocra sounding like a collection of birds chittering away in a tree.  ARTICULATION: Ryn is used to the efficiency of being able to say a lot of words in a short amount of time with the way her native tongue works, but she’s a bit clumsier with Common, and at times finds herself using a lot more words to explain something than is actually necessary. EDUCATION: Learning that Common had conjugations was absolutely delighting for Ryn, who prefers to use shorter words as they feel more natural to her than the much longer ones.  LAUGHTER: Ryn’s chittering laughter is similar in rhythm to that of wind chimes, but much more airy and prone to long birdy wheezes/hoots.     GRUMP: Grumbling manifests in Ryn the longer she goes without a proper rest (usually in Aarakocra), but if she is much more alert she may mumble small comments to herself (in Common) if she is feeling Extra Opinionated about something someone said.  BREATHING: Ryn is very prone to sighing, a long, rather whistly sort of sound. 

Mannerisms.

FACE: Due to a different facial structure than that of humans, most of Ryn’s expressions are in her eyes. She’s also very easy with smiling, and her resting expression is rather peaceful.  HANDS: Ryn will wave her arms around when talking if she’s particularly enthused about the topic. She’ll also use whatever she’s holding at the time to gesticulate with (usually bugs).  LEGS/FEET: Ryn will tap a talon or three if she’s feeling rather fidgety.  EMOTIONAL OUTBURSTS: If Ryn gets stressed, the chance that  she’ll have an emotional outburst rises sharply. As part of her training, Ryn works to maintain a steady but bright sort of energy about her, but abrupt situations and the like can make maintaining that rather difficult for her.  HABITS: Ryn is constantly on the lookout for Tasty Snacks, and in open/non crowded areas she’ll twitch and waggle her wings around.  POSTURE: Ryn walks rather upright, shoulders back and wings folded and posed just so, but she does this in a way that looks very natural to her, like she’s stood like this all her life.  WALKING POSTURE: Ryn is very light on her feet, so she almost looks bouncy when she walks, especially if she’s walking with PURPOSE. SITTING POSTURE: Ryn sits in a format very Proper for an aarakocra. On the ground she’ll sit with her legs folded under her to give her wings some space from the ground. Chairs are a little tricky- backless ones are preferred so she can sit upright with her wings resting behind, but backed chairs means she needs space to pull her wings out closer to her sides without bumping into anyone in close proximity.  PERSONAL SPACE: It depends on the physical space available for Ryn. If there is a wide open sky above her, her sense of personal space is much smaller, and she’d happily lean against a friend and such, but in caves and other small spaces she needs as MUCH space for herself as POSSIBLE and will push others away if need be.  SPACIAL AWARENESS: Being a bird constantly looking for the next Tasty Snack, Ryn is pretty aware of all things around her. Whether or not she chooses to pay attention to all of these things, however, is another matter.  OTHER: Ryn is a rather graceful flier, carrying herself with ease as if the sky is her natural place to be in instead of on the ground. 

Health:

DIET: Food is Very Important to Ryn, and she is definitely not a picky eater. She will eat bugs (except for ticks, mosquitos, any bloodsucking thing tbh), seeds, plants, vegetables/fruits, meats, etc.. Basically, if you offer any kind of food to her, she WILL eat it, often with great gusto and many words of thanks.  SLEEP: To Ryn, an exhausted bird is often a dead one, so she takes her rest very seriously. She knows that putting non-life-threatening work before rest will only hurt later.  EXERCISE: The life of an adventurer is a rather physically active one. ACTIVITY: Ryn is fairly good at maintaining an active lifestyle without pushing herself too hard (unless someone needs her help, that is).  CLEANLINESS: Ryn has a VERY INTENSIVE FEATHER CARE ROUTINE. ODOUR: Faint traces of incense from Syranita’s temples, and a hint of dust. MEDICINAL DRUGS: N/A NARCOTICS: Ryn enjoys the occasional alcoholic beverage. ADDICTIONS: N/A ILLNESS: Ryn is a very healthy gal. INJURIES: See above. PARASITES: As a child, Ryn came in contact with some mites, but that has since been treated. OTHER: N/A

Personal.

INTROVERT/EXTROVERT?: Ryn is somewhat extroverted, as she is  accustomed to the constant socialization with members of her flock. OPTIMIST/PESSIMIST: Ryn thinks of herself as an optimist, as pessimists “have a hard time making and keeping friends.” GENDER: Lady bird. SEXUALITY: Ryn has had several engagements with several male aarakocra when she still lived with the flock, but she hasn’t given much thought to other species, as she accepted that she probably wouldn’t have time for any pleasantries after she left the flock. ROMANTIC: When she was younger, Ryn considered raising a few owlets of her own one day, but the more she’s learning about the world outside her flock, the more she’s not sure she’ll be ready to introduce a young one to it just yet. MEMORY: Ryn loves to learn, however retaining that knowledge isn’t exactly one of her strong points. Birds, after all, are scatterbrained.  PLANNING: Ryn takes a long time to plan, so she often only tries to plan out the Really Important Things to save on time.  PENSIVE: Ryn constantly thinks about the world she’s learning about compared to the world she knew growing up with. Also bugs.  INTUITION: Ryn tends to have good hunches, but only it’s usually a hit or miss kind of thing. PROBLEM SOLVING: Ryn is GREAT at puzzle boxes and the like, but real world problems take a lot more effort and struggling on her end. GOALS: Ryn wants to help as many as she can while learning about how the non-aarakocra world works as much as she can. INSECURITIES: Even with the go-ahead from Syranita, Ryn still worries that leaving her flock was the wrong choice, and that her not being there will doom them as a whole.  ACHIEVEMENTS: Ryn is very proud to have made the decision to leave the flock. ANXIETY: Ryn is simultaneously VERY WORRIED TO HAVE MADE THE DECISION TO LEAVE HER FLOCK  OVERWHELMED: Sometimes when trying to find an answer, Ryn will think “hey I can just ask [family member] before being reminded by herself how Far Away she is from them all, and can be stricken with an intense wave of homesickness. SELF-HELP: A few prayers to Syranita can go a long way to soothe Ryn’s nerves. And sharing stories about her home life with others can help ease the pain of being homesick.  COMFORTS: Flying, performing Cleric-ey duties, anything she’s grown up doing tbh. BAD HABITS: Ryn is a bird who’s thoughts wander along with her focus, so she’s rather prone to not fully paying attention during some conversations, and can miss certain important details. PHILOSOPHY: Ryn is a devout follower of Syranita and practices her beliefs to the best of her abilities, but will not try to force those beliefs on others (there are So Many gods, so obviously not everyone’s going to fit with just one of them) TRIGGERS: Any time abrupt unified disapproval is presented to her at the mention of something she wants to do rings little panic alarms in her head.  

The Past.

PARENTS/GUARDIANS: Ryn’s childhood was very bright, her gentle father and strong mother raised her with love and care. SCHOOL: Ryn did very well in her teachings during any hands-on activity, and she loved learning but retaining information that wasn’t some type of thing she could do was difficult. ADOLESCENCE: Ryn followed in her parents’ footsteps with pride and received lots of support from the whole flock for it.  LEAVING HOME: Leaving home is where things got tricky for Ryn. She grew up knowing that she could rely on those of her flock and that they could rely on her, but making that choice to leave shattered that bond she grew up with. Leaving was very difficult, but knowing that they don’t want her back has kept her from trying to return. FURTHER EDUCATION: After completing cleric training and working as one for the flock for a few years, the desire to learn brought Ryn to leave. It’s like a self-driven permanent study abroad kind of thing. FIRST JOB: Before Ryn got to do the “fun” part of cleric work of healing others and aiding anyone and everyone, Ryn cleaned Syranita’s temple. It wasn’t exciting work, but the atmosphere of the place was very soothing to be in, even if you were just sweeping the dust out of the corners. LIFE EVENTS: The first couple of trips to Thundercliff opened Ryn’s eyes up to what lay beyond the flock. She wanted more.  WORST DAY OF THEIR LIFE: The flock meeting when she had to declare that she would be leaving Storm Crest. Having to watch the warmth and acceptance from every set of eyes on her vanish is a memory she will carry with her for a long time.  BEST DAY OF THEIR LIFE: Her first day as a full-fledged cleric where she got to Really Help everyone around her with Real Problems rests as a bright spot within her memories. LESSONS: Ryn has learned since her first few days away from the flock that kindness and politeness can go a long way, especially if you have absolutely no idea what you’re doing. LOOKING BACK: Ryn would have tried to spend more time with her family in the last days she was home. Maybe that would have convinced them that leaving wasn’t an act of hatred or betrayal on her part. 

Relationships.

FAMILY: Ryn’s five siblings and her two parents are all her family. While she was close to the rest of the flock as well, it was seen as a team rather than More Family. FRIENDSHIPS: Ryn DID have a lot of friends back home, but now she considers her traveling companions her current friends.  FRIENDS IN NEED: Ryn will leap to help a friend in need at the drop of a hat. She might not always know what to do (as she prefers to do actual things rather than offer words of advice), but gosh darn it she’ll try everything under the sun if it has a chance of helping. NEEDING A FRIEND: Ryn will gladly ask friends for help with completing tasks, but she was so used to turning to her family for advice help that now she prefers to voice her concerns in prayer to Syranita.  ANNOYANCES: Ryn will talk things out if the tensions are relatively low. If not, she’ll wait for either her or the other party to calm down before attempting diplomacy again. ROMANCE: Ryn prefers hawk aarakocra with Piercing Eyes. She’ll mostly just chat them up excessively because how else are you supposed to know one another? MARITAL PROBLEMS: Ryn’s go-to strategy is talking something out. Or doing any type of task depending on the problem. ADVERSARIES: Ryn does Not Like a Rude Bird. ENEMIES: Any who would blatantly disregard the precious life of others would quickly find an enemy in a Very Small Bird. STRANGERS: Ryn tries to be respectful and civil to anyone she meets, but due to not knowing about non-aarakocras she may ignorantly break a few social or cultural rules. FUN STUFF: Ryn loves looking for bugs, listening to music performances, and getting food together. DATING: FLYING DATES. BEST FRIEND: Ryn believes in multiple best friends- she can’t pick just one. LOVE: N/A WORST ENEMY: N/A RESPECT: If she can see their point of view (even if she doesn’t agree with it), Ryn can still be respectful. 

Interactions.

MINGLING: Ryn’s politeness and open nature allowed her to befriend just about the entirety of Storm Crest, but her naivety with the cultural norms of the other races can cause a few wrinkles in the tapestry of friendship.  COMFORT LEVELS: Ryn is very open to talking with others, but if someone responds to her attempts at politeness with being Rude then she will no longer wish to talk to them.  PHYSICAL: Ryn is very much not opposed to shoulder-patting friends and allies, as that has proved to be a rather socially acceptable thing. Anything else depends on how long she’s known someone so she can figure out what’s okay and not okay to do. GROUPS: Growing up in a large family has made Ryn very much at ease in larger groups. She loves the liveliness that they bring, as well as the relaxing nature that just one or two other people provide.  OPENNESS: Ryn will talk about her family until she’s blue in the face if you let her, but she’s not going to share more than the bare basics of the interworking bits of her flock unless she can trust you 100%. GENEROSITY: Ryn collects so many Tasty Snacks not only for herself but to share with those who need them. Food is energy, so she sees it as a very useful gift that everyone needs.  JEALOUSY: Ryn is very accustomed to working as part of a team, so jealousy is not something that would come easily to her. However, on her trips to Thundercliff when she got to talk to a lot of travelers, their stories did tend to leave her wanting.  TEMPER: Ryn is an incredibly patient thing as long as she’s not suffering from sleep deprivation. EMPATHY: Ryn is rather empathetic, she may not always know what to do about it when faced with certain situations, but she does her best. AFFECTION: Hunting down one’s favorite food, higher frequency of casual physical contact (hugs, leaning on a shoulder, etc.). DISTASTE: All side mumblings switch to aarakocran (if the distate is with someone not familiar with the language), disinterest in any communication, or straight up verbal confrontation depending on the intensity of the distaste. ETIQUETTE: Ryn strives to be as polite as a bird can be, but lack of knowledge in different social circles can result in a few toes getting stepped on. RESPONSIBILITY: Ryn will absolutely take the blame for something if she knows she’s the one who messed up, especially if it means she’ll learn how to do better next time. SELF ESTEEM: Ryn is very confident in who she is as a person, but mild pushing around doesn’t bother her unless it’s something going against her Moral Code. CONFIDENCE: Ryn IS very confident, but if anyone who knows about The Way that Storm Crest aarakocra are learns that she’s from their, she’ll be very concerned that they’ll think she shares the same views as them. HONESTY: Ryn prefers to be very open and honest with most everyone, but if she’s with someone she trusts that says a small lie/witholds certain information, she’ll play along with it. LEADER OR FOLLOWER: Ryn is comfortable with leading herself and maybe one or two other people, but in a larger group she’d rather follow if she can help it. PARTY TRICKS: Ryn would Most Definitely cast Light on a slew of various objects in a party (after all, who WOULDN’T think drinking out of a glowing goblet wasn’t the coolest thing ever?) PRAISE: Ryn would never turn down a compliment offered with sincerity.  FAILURES: Sometimes hunting for bugs might not be AS important as participating in Important Conversations, and also MAYBE in more crowded spaces one shouldn’t waggle their wings around as much. Not many enjoy an eyeball full of feathers (even if they ARE soft). CRITICISM: Ryn views criticism as an opportunity to learn (unless someone is Being Mean about it). INSULTS: Ryn will get rather huffy when being insulted (even puffing up some), but she’ll will allow the person to speak their mind if it means they’ll calm down right afterward. Sometimes you just gotta vent. EMBARRASSMENT: When faced with embarrassment, Ryn gets incredibly fidgety and is usually at a loss for words. If the situation allows for it, she may take to the air for a bit to calm down. FLIRTING: They didn’t teach flirting in Ryn’s cleric teachings, so she doesn’t know a single thing about it (though she may try if she’s feeling Extra Confident or is rather relaxed). ATTENTION SPAN: It’s all a matter of situation on whether or not Ryn can hold her focus. She could either stay tuned in at 100% for the entire day or struggle to pay attention for 10 minutes before her mind starts to drift. SITUATIONS: Ryn grew up learning how to be an excellent listener, but because of that she can have a hard time participating in the conversation after being so used to them being sort of one-sided things.

Life.

CAREER: Serving Syranita and adventuring to help keep ends meet. Sometimes she thinks about settling down somewhere as a simple healer, but she’s happy with what she’s currently doing. PROMOTION: Maybe something with a few less Death Crowns.  BOSS: Ryn certainly doesn’t have a bad relationship with her boss, but after the information leak it might be up in the air. DUTY: Making sure everyone doesn’t die is pretty high on Ryn’s responsibility list. TECH: N/A POLITICS: Ryn thinks that the elders of Storm Crest are more than a little stuffy, but she never attempted to make a move to change that. COMBAT SKILLS: Ryn has her trusted quarterstaff, but she prefers non-lethal combat if she can help it. HOME: Ryn THINKS she’s rather tidy, but if she lived in one place for a while it couldn’t be described as anything other than a nest. DAILY LIFE: For the most part Ryn is comfortable with the day-to-day routine, but Big Things can make her a little uncertain. INDEPENDENCE: Ryn CAN handle things by herself just fine, but she enjoys the company. COOKING: Ryn is a fairly adept cook (although non-aarakocra may think differently). BUILDING: Ryn can assemble simple things and is good at following directions. CLEANING: Ryn cleans things to Ryn’s level of cleanliness, which is not enough for a lot of people (but her personal hygiene is Impeccable).  SHOPPING: Ryn loves to browse, and she will buy something in a heartbeat if it is small and on the shiny side. DRIVING: N/A FINANCES: Ryn doesn’t spend a lot of her money (just think of all the free food in the ground), so she’s never really felt strapped for coin. Also, because she doesn’t spend much on herself, she’s more than fine with giving money to others if they need it for any reason. MARRIAGE: Ryn has decided she won’t even consider marriage until she retires from her current lifestyle (who has the time for that anyway?) KIDS: Ryn would love to bring up a few owlets if she could (but the world has proven to be scary and she’s not sure that’s the best idea) PETS: A giant lizard has DEFINITELY been on this bird’s mind. DEPENDANTS: Ryn was forced to cut all ties with her family upon leaving, so no. LAW: Leaving the flock has been the only time she acted out against the law of Storm Crest. COURT: No. PRISON: No. TRAVELLING: Ryn wants to see as much of everything that she can.  MEDICAL: Most wounds Ryn can handle herself, but she is not opposed to finding a more skilled healer if she needs to. ILLNESS: N/A (unless you count her claustrophobia)  WORRIES: The homesickness is a little worse when you’re trying to sleep without the soft murmurs of others, or the peaceful whistling breathing of her sister.  PEACE: Ryn loves the liveliness that comes with groups of people, but when it comes to Syranita Time she prefers peace. PARTYING: Ryn will gladly go to a celebration if invited, but she is also more than content with staying in. HOBBIES: Ryn loves to fly around and explore, as well as read and socialize with her friends.

[musings-for-the-masses]

have you considered self improvement and taking up some fulfilling hobbies instead of taking out your stunted incel rage on well adjusted people who love each other enough to start a family? btw, i feel like you're going for an 'oscar isaac in ex machina' type look, but instead you're serving 'overcompensating emasculated codemonkey who jerks off to futa hentai on his phone in the bathroom at work' realness... just thought i should let you know since apparently no one else has. get well, sis! x

have you considered self improvement

Yeah, unfortunately I have no willpower, work ethic, & am lethargic so this endeavor is proving very difficult.

fulfilling hobbies

I hardly have enuff energy to expend on work to pay the bills – let alone recreational activities. But yeah it’s true I should seek more experiences beyond porn & YouTube videos.

stunted incel rage

It’s fair to say that I am stunted in at least a way or two. No argument there.

I would like to have sex but cannot (no GF) so I suppose I am technically an incel.

I choose to describe myself as a volcel because I do not care *enough* about fucking to put any effort whatsoever into finding a partner. I’ve also ghosted hotties that messaged me on OKcupid.

well adjusted people who love each other enough to start a family

All I did was say pregnant women are gross. They’re gross because breeding is unethical in most scenarios imo (overpopulation is a problem). Theres also something kinda creepy about a fetus, no? It’s essentially a parasite that lives inside the woman. The “Alien” & “Earthbound” franchises are well aware of the freaky-factor of fetuses and utilize birthing/fetal imagery to disturb the audience.

Anyway, if you think a pregnant woman is an inherently good thing then you are oddly naive. Surely you are aware of single mothers? Deadbeat fathers? Stupid/narcissistic/abusive parents?

you’re going for an ‘oscar isaac in ex machina’ look

I don’t really go for any look cuz I don’t particularly care about aesthetics. I shave my head for practical reasons (also too cheap to pay for haircuts).

Anyway, that movie was alright – 6/10. I liked that the main character referenced Depeche Mode! I wonder how many ppl know my moniker is a reference to one of their album titles?

overcompensating

That “badass/edgy/severe” expression/pose I adopted for that previous profile pic was sort of an inside joke. I took a selfie of myself in a Spongebob shirt doing a goofy grin ;3 at the same time I took that “INTJ stare” pic. It was meant to look “try hard” to be ironic.

emasculated 

Theres nothing wrong with having your dick/balls chopped off. If anything I view eunuchs as respectable. They are kind of futuristic in a way – not subject to primitive desires.

codemonkey

My dads been trying to convince me to become a coder for years. I’d probably be good at it, but as I mentioned i’m too lazy/tired to expand into new fields.

jerks off to futa hentai

I’m not really a fan of futa or hentai tbh. Tho theres definitely some excellent hentai, like Raita’s wonderfully written & drawn “Mahou Shoujo“ series or the hilariously hot “My Balls” manga.

The closest thing to futas ive jerked off to is MtF trannies in some porn clips. I like MtF trannies in porn because they are more expressive which makes for a more engaging performance (SuperChads are too stone-faced & stoic). Note: I’m not really jerking it to the tranny themselves per-se but the hot CIS girls that they are having sex with.

in the bathroom at work

You kind of overrate me to think I have a traditional type job. I’m practically half-NEET.

i should let you know since apparently no one else has

Literally dozens of people on Tumblr have mocked me for my supposed “involuntary celibacy” & “lack” of hair.

But a lot of that other stuff was fairly fresh I suppose. Overall pretty good roast: 7/10

[mothersins-a]

█ ▌❤ VERSE; HERO UNFIT (bnha)❤

YOU WERE NOT MEANT FOR THIS WORLD, you would never be seen as anything more than VILLAINOUS. They don’t know of the pain you’ve caused, the chaos you’ve brought, the blood spilled on all humans behalf. ALL FOR LOVE.

Anri Sonohara inherited a quirk, a quirk that’s been kept secret and lied about for ages. Through their family it was guarded that nobody could know the true power that lies in this quirk. A strange and unforgivable quirk, parasitic, demonic. Anri didn’t begin to show signs of the quirk until after her parent’s death. Her mother Sayaka was overtaken by this power in order to save her daughter from her abusive husband. Anri was supposed to die that day, but instead she gained the full force of the quirk instead.

PARASITE, emitter type, there’s something inside you who’s name is Saika. Saika grants you strength, power, agility, speed, sight where it is dark, and extra sensory perception. You can sense things from a good distance, she tells you vague motives of others, she talks to you sweetly. But nobody with this quirk grew into their old age. They all died fairly young. Why? Because they cannot bare Saika. Saika is something that speaks to you constantly, she will take over your body and demand you to do her bidding. What she wants is LOVE, she feeds off your emotions in order to gain control and she wants to share her love with others. To infect others with love so that they can love just as much as herself.

Saika now lives within Anri as there can only be one true Saika at a time. There is a sort of trigger in the family line’s members, and when it’s triggered and extension of Saika is there. Anri’s trigger was her Mother and Father’s death, and now she has the parasite quirk. 

Anri was taken in by a yakuza boss who was fond of her Mother. He is now her legal guardian although she doesn’t see him often anymore. Anri is able to control this parasite better than anyone else before her. She doesn’t go mad with power and she doesn’t lose herself to Saika’s words. Because she cannot love, Anri’s decided, she will not love.

The parasite that calls herself Saika is part of the host’s consciousness. She has her own personality but is bound to and obeys the host to some extent. Saika can pass her influence down to others out side the family through physical contact. There has to be a break in the skin though, they have to bleed. So Saika chooses to use bladed weapons. And through blades she can infect people with her consciousness, making them do as she pleases, to an extent. Anri can give those infected ideas, commands, and the like but how they are done varies from person to person. The victim retains their personality to some degree but they are fiercely, obsessively loyal to the original parasite. Mother they call her.

Anri says her quirk is Saika, she says Saika is a part of her that gives her an upper hand in battle. She gives her natural fighting ability and then some. That’s all she says. As far as she knows, nobody else knows of the darker side to her quirk.

By hiding her quirk’s true ability Anri was able to use her expertise to enter in U.A. academy. She is a third year in class A and a very timid yet serious person. She carries with her many blades. Knives, katana, other types of bladed weapons which she uses in battle. She’s careful not to infect anyone with Saika but due to her unstable emotional state that’s becoming an issue.

[redscullyrevival]

Fool’s Quest: Fitz and the Fool Rundown

And now we wait together @sonnetscrewdriver!

Plot/Setting/Narrative

I’m so embarrassed for my son Rap-a-taskal. 

Getting ahead of myself here but take a chill pill kid. 

Calm your Tellator tits. 

Actually, screw it! lets start at “the end”:

I’m officially caught up now and I’ve been digging around the internet lurking on forums trying to soak up art/discussions/opinions I’ve been avoiding for months.

And the most interesting fannish thing I’ve uncovered is how lots of people are treating Tellator and Rap as two different people - I’ve read several discussions and threads where Tellator was being thought of and referred to as almost like a parasite or something.

I personally didn’t get that vibe when reading Rain Wilds. 

I don’t view Rapskal as an innocent bystander taken over by an insidious and other entity, but I can totally see how folks can see it that way so power to them I suppose.

Time and Parenting really come to a point at the end of this book, bounded tight within the thrill of having these two Realm of the Elderlings character axis’ finally meeting!: 

And we the reader are, now, FAR more knowledgeable about the magics and histories of the Realm than any one character present! Funny how time and managing our narrative children will do that, huh? ;D

I’m of the personal opinion that the Elderlings are going to be too thankful and indebted to Fitz to really head the level of retribution Rapskal will demand - but that doesn’t mean Fitz won’t make matters worse with his paranoia and how he expects to be treated (Fitz’s “I-deserve-to-suffer” self loathing really reeks in this book and I have no doubt it will harm more than help in the early stages of Assassin’s Fate) 

But oh! I can’t wait to see my Elderling darlings and Six Duchies nerds mingle more! 

And yes, I do think Rapskal will continue to be an asshole. 

I’m invested in Rapskal though and I can’t wait to see what his deal is and how he’ll affect the story. 

I don’t know about y’all but I feel Rap is being set up to have some big part to play - but I’ve no clue if it’ll be direct or indirect lol. TIME WILL TELL!

If I had to guess right now (and I’m going to because why not) I’d guess that at the moment Rapskal probably struggles, that he is antagonistic, because he is outside of the narrative’s “Reflection & Parenting as Change” theme and may never fold into that current because of his choice to skip adolescence via-memory stones. 

Rapskal doesn’t have a lot to reflect back on, or maybe the issue is he has too much memory or doesn’t reflect at all and only looks forward forward forward. And we know he isn’t a parent as Nortel told us.

Frankly I hope Rapskal can learn from Fitz and/or Amber, I’d like to see him fold back into the narrative flow rather than swim decidedly against it (not that he isn’t uninteresting for doing so, quite the opposite really).

Maybe Rapskal will find something to reflect back on? Maybe he’ll refuse? 

But enough about Rapskal! 

THYMARA’S WINGS ARE SO BIG NOW. *gasp* I love her. 

Do you think when our Six Duchies party leaves Kelsingra they’ll ride down the Rain Wilds River on Tarman?! 

*muffled screeching*

Okay okay okay I’m sorry, back into a Fitz and the Fool Rundown not Kristie has deep love for Rain Wilders Giggling.

Fitz

This dummy. 

Don’t get me wrong; temperament wise this older Fitz is still my favorite but he’s also so full of grief and self loathing he’s practically useless mid-book.

And that’s fine, Hobb as always does a great job with making me understand Fitz.

But still - OH MY GOD.

You’ve done a lot wackier and intensely strange stuff than admit your daughter is the result of your BFF, your wolf-brother, and yourself’s souls mingling Fitz! 

You even come to terms with that fact, even if simply choosing to ignore it for the most part that still means you’ve acknowledged it - you’re willing to painstakingly mine information from any and everyone but you don’t tell Beloved about your daughter’s dream journal?

Um??? WHAT???

Wake up dude. 

Just poor decisions left and right. 

Needless to say I was very frustrated with Fitz for a while but we worked through it. 

Oh my god I friggin’ cried when Starling sung her Epic and Fitz was recognized by the court though, oh man that was so satisfying and mystifying and wondrous. 

I’m glad Fitz has for the most part gotten over his issues with Amber and the Fool’s various identities and seems very accepting of Ash and Spark. 

Bee

Nooooo!

I mean, “No” to Bee still being on her own but mostly “No” about Bee slowly being blocked out of the narrative perspective! 

NOOOO

I’d be fascinated to find out how long she was in the Pillar. Based on the narrative we read and assume she’s wandering about around the same time Fitz and company are but we’ve been given nothing in evidence of that. 

INTERESTING

Stay safe my little piglet! 

The Fool

Yes.

YES.

I’m very intrigued to learn more about Beloved’s dragon blood transformation and what knowledge will come with it.

What will happen if the dragon is truly dead, who will guide their transformation? 

ME THINKS FITZ

But, uh, yeah.

While it was uncomfortable I was rather happy that Fool got angry at Fitz and had no trouble telling him to step off. 

I wasn’t very pleased with Fitz myself at the time, I was a bit smug about him getting a tray full of food plopped in his lap.  

Well done.

I really hope to witness more of Ash and Spark and The Fool’s bond! 

Beloved has been alone for so long, has had the opposite later life to Fitz and his massive family. 

And what better than taking in and giving shelter to a son and a daughter? 

Good stuff. 

Shun AKA Shine

CALLED IT.

Oh Shine, you poor dear. 

Shine will become an asset to Nettle, I imagine, and I desperately hope she heals and that Kettricken can guide her well and that court does Shine good. 

I’m livid and just overall done with Chade, I’m serious.

I feel as though I’ve given Chade benefit of the doubt over and over again and it isn’t like he is an evil person or claims to be something he isn’t - but uuugh what the hell?

If you’re mister cloak and dagger spider web master maybe reel in some goddamn self control and think ahead on the consequences of your personal actions instead of just those of your King and various eyes within the kingdom, come the fuck on dude.

What an idiot sending both his children to a grieving Fitz and for not following up with any information for his children OR for Fitz.

I’d be so upset if I were Shine, I would’t be surprised if she drugs him.

It’d be poetic in a twisted away. 

Why did Chade hide Shine from others as well as from herself? What was he thinking, that she’d have to become less shallow, vain, and self-centered before he’d bestow upon her the depths of her lineage? 

Chade moans about being denied learning to Skill because he was a bastard but zip! he seals up his bastard daughter’s power because ??? 

????!!!!!

ANYWAY 

I’m glad Shine is safe and that she and Bee came to a functioning relationship even if not one ripe with mutual meaning and growth.  

Lant

Chade-light 2.0 and I aren’t hitting it off so well but I’m trying to keep a level head about this sassy lost child.

His biggest sin is that he is boring. 

Or, well, I think my real issue with Lant is that he’s young. 

So young. 

Oddly young.

Older than Per or Ash or Spark yes but younger than them somehow; he doesn’t see, he doesn’t listen, he doesn’t seem to even think for himself.

Rolling about in his self pity that he can’t bang his sister doesn’t help endure him to me either but you know, I’ll take Riddle’s advice and let time and space do it’s thing so maybe by the time the third book comes out I’ll have cooled on Lant. 

Ash/Spark

OH SHIT.

I love themmmmmm.

Oh my god.

I’m really really really hoping that Ash, Spark, Per, and Bee are going to be Gen 2 of Elderling mayhem and stories. 

That’d be golden.

Smart as a whip and willing to make their own choices, that’s Ash and Spark. 

Brilliant.

Perseverance

Talk about stickin’ to your name!

Per is a sweetie and I really need to stop but I can’t help but see him as my son Charlie. 

Which is amazing - but gutting at the same time lol.

What have I done?!

Per is perfection and I really hope Fitz does right by him and of everyone traveling now I feel like Per will help Fitz the most as far as his inner space goes. 

Per has a understanding and relationship with Bee outside of Fitz’s understanding of his daughter and I think Fitz’ll need to hear about that and mine Per’s perseverance as their quest wears on. 

Highlighted Passages

I smiled as the royal family passed, tears of pride stinging my eyes. Our doing, the Fool’s and mine.

“Vengeance?” I asked quietly. “It’s a poor motive for doing anything. Vengeance doesn’t undo what they did. Doesn’t restore whatever they destroyed.”

“Sometimes thanking someone is more important to the person giving the thanks than the one who receives it.”

“I thought you had come here in fury over what I did to you as we passed through the Skill-pillars.” He stepped back from me. “Oh, I’ll leave that to Nettle. If she hasn’t blasted the skin from your flesh with her words yet, you’ve that to look forward to.

I could not think about it at the moment. I tried so hard, but there was just not enough time or enough of me. And trying was not doing.

Safe. As if “safe” were more important than anything else.

With the instincts of all bullies, they knew that eventually she would have to emerge. Then, in the way of their kind, they would peck her to death for being different.

“Ah, Fitz. I can always trust you to have some sort of bizarre problem that breaks my ennui.”

She breathed as if she had run over nine hills. I stared at her. She had been a stranger, a lover, a nemesis, and a betrayer to me. And now she was my historian.

“Why does understanding come so late to us?”

War and hardship had hardened them; I understood that, but it did not mean that I wished to see my own folk mocked or disdained that they were not likewise hardened.

But all fires, of wood or grief, burn down to ashes eventually.

“Doing something stupid and reckless is not a better proof of your love than doing something measured and powerful.”

“Keeping a child from harm is not the same as rearing one.”

“Steady, I’m pregnant, not ill.”

Both logic and love anchored me where I was and doomed me to the suffocation of waiting.

“Every one of them has witnessed what the Servants have done to their fellows. And each has chosen to serve them rather than defy them. Every one of them is more treacherous than you can imagine.”

Once one knows what heartless people can do, it cannot be entirely forgotten. It always remains among the possible things that can befall you.

“Put it behind you, and think about it again in twenty years. Whatever it was, you can’t change it. So stop clinging to it, and let time and distance do their work.”

“I always fail the people I love the most.” “Say rather that you judge yourself more harshly than anyone else ever has.”

“No soup! Anything I can bite and chew. Or crunch! Is there anything crunchy?”

 “That I guessed,” Malta said knowingly. “When first I saw him, I felt as if I already knew him.” She smiled at me as if we shared a jest. I smiled back, without understanding.

“Worrying doesn’t solve anything. I know that. In one way I know it but in another it seems wrong. It seems that if I don’t think about all the things that hurt, all the things I’ve done wrong, then I don’t really care.”

[pepperboxcouture]

If I could live in a lush tropical indoor jungle I would, oh how I would!

Lucky we live in the middle of an outdoor tropical forest! But this is our first Winter in our home and it has been cold, rainy, windy and rough. We can’t go outside and frolic amongst the trees like we want too, therefore we have to be content watching the forest through the icy winter condensation on our windows.

    Whilst waiting for winter to be over and the ground to dry out I decided there was a need to introduce some ‘indoors nature’ by way of house pets plants.

I am not great with houseplants as I find them to be quite needy and temperamental. It could be the type of plant I select or it’s more likely to be my laziness. Either way I have killed many plants of a more delicate nature (like maiden ferns) and even the odd cactus. Yes, cactus. Don’t laugh.

My green fingers are really only for outdoors food propagation where the sun and the rain do most of the work. But this winter has been depriving of the soul, so I opted to give this indoor nature thing another go.

  There are many great things about houseplants:

they are quiet, need very little care

are a good education tool for children

look lovely in any interior

may or may not produce food

clean the air!

and scent the home

…and who doesn’t want that?

  Houseplants, as well as an injection of nature into any interior, can support and enhance many looks. Think Modern-Boho-Gypsy-Romantic, or Minimalist-Scandi-Mid-Century, both work well on their own, but even better with a delicious array of houseplants.

Houseplants are so versatile you can accent your interior with a light peppering of plants, add a pop of green here and there, create a ‘WOW’ statement with a living wall, sectional, or corner jungle if you have lofty ceilings or light and bright airy spaces. False height can also be achieved through the sparse use of thin trunk, bushy top trees of mid range height or if you are brave full height. There is a primal instinct that is instantly calming and comforting about having plants. Given that I could never live in a multi-stacked concrete jungle.

  A couple more things to note about houseplants is they may make the place seem alive and look on trend but many can be toxic to small humans and animals so choose both plant and position wisely. I like to hang or position my more delicate, or suspicious plants high out of reach, or contain them where curious little fingers can’t go poking about.

However, surprisingly and shockingly, MOST of the on-trend or classic beauties are on the baddie list. Check it out by clicking the image below.

    In my case, I adore the very poisonous Lyrata Ficus aka Fiddle Leaf Fig for its huge paddle shaped leaves and the toxic classic Monsteria Deliciosa aka Fruit Salad and Swiss Cheese plant for their huge tropical leaves… I also love any sort of Rubber tree, any type of palm, the  amazing elephant ear plant, Indoor dwarf citrus or fruit trees, whatever tree, tree, tree, ALL THE Trees. I love big plants and big trees indoors, especially if I can’t get outside to run about in the forest because the weather is shit.

  It just so happens:

Our house is that habitat of a mini human (child) and a fur baby (cat)

Most if not all those wonderful dream trees/plants (see above) are toxic to the minis’.

Our house is too small to house a forest indoors

Our house is too cluttered to house a forest indoors

The forest I ‘want’ will be too expensive to acquire

I am the only green fingered soul in our dwelling and employ my skills on a part-time, somewhat casual basis…….

  So it would be irresponsible of me to have any of the wonderful dream plants above. Therefore being a responsible parent, I settled on a smaller curated selection back in January 2018 to coincide with moving into our new home and they are still alive! Well, most of them. Some of them have prospered through my neglect and some not so much.

Introducing my houseplant pests. Pets.

I have a few rare and nostalgic revivals, originally seen in abundance in the 1970’s. I say rare only because they are not a common go-to when you think “houseplants in a modern-day home”. They are also fairly difficult to find nowadays and not cheap when you find them. I brought a beautiful string of pearls for the new house the day we moved in, it was tiny and overwatered, with minimal new growth. The plant was in a beautiful big hanging minimalist style terrarium of blown glass and thick rope. The terrarium survived 2 days before being knocked off its shelf and smashing on the ground. Amidst the destruction I was able to save the main plant and all the broken bits hoping they would propagate, which the did with no trouble at all. I managed to create two thriving plants which I give a little drink in the kitchen sink maybe once every few weeks and I let the water drain out completely (much like caring for an Orchid). In addition to the pearls I found one tiny little heart and some moss. in the sweep up of dirt and glass. With a little encouragement and nice words I have managed to get it to grow into a single string of hearts. SUCCESS.

    My prior experience with string of pearl plants is limited to systematically destroying each little pearl between my pudgy child fingers to the extreme delight of the popping sounds until the plant was completely decimated, and at the despair of my mother. Sorry Mum. I was certain my kiddy would be exactly the same (50% my genes, the odds are good) so to preempt this attack, I have cleverly hidden them in plain sight by placing both the thriving pearl plants into clear and mirrored vintage terrariums on the window sill. The kiddy has not even blinked at them.

Another ‘new favourite’ kiddy proof planting method is actually an old favourite way of hanging plants, not by Macrame [this time], but by the ancient and currently trending art of Kokedama. If you don’t know about Kokedama it is a form of Japanese garden art that is centuries old and tied into the practice of bonsai. The look is unique appearing both organic and natural, yet heavily manipulated and controlled at the same time.

    I had a go at wrapping a Staghorn Fern. Instead of using dried sphagnum moss I used coconut fibre on the outside of my soil/leaves mix mainly to retain some moisture and nutrients. Staghorn are a parasitic plant, so unlike proper plants they are opportunistic eaters and prefer rotten leaves, Banana peels, Tea Bags and muck. Muck is not a technical term, but you get the gist. This Staghorn has been very temperamental and has had a few issues. I had it outside and it was too wet, too cold and too bright apparently that is the trifecta to make an unhappy plant. You can see this in the picture below by the ‘spotting’ on its leaves. Usually they are pretty hardy and require very little fuss. They just like the odd banana peel and they are happy. It came inside to hang over the bath out of mini’s reach and it is now enjoying a happy growth spurt with no ‘new’ blemishes appearing.

The only maintenance it needs is an occasional ‘meal’ and a drink. The best way to water a Kokedama is in a sink, or a bucket and leave it to absorb the water for a short while. Let the water drain through before hanging it again.

This is a dangerous time for child and plant see the curious little cherub in the pictures. Luckily no grief came to either that day. I probably water it once a month in the winter and you can monitor its needs by the look of vitality in its leaves during the summer months.

    There is something quite alien about the look of Staghorn fern and they thrive in a somewhat damp, shady environment so they make perfect bathroom plants. They are also very versatile as they can be hung in Kokedama, a basket, a terrarium, mounted to a board, or  in a traditional pot.

    Next and a close favourite of mine is a ‘red heart’ arrow head plant. My version boasts a beutiful big leaf with a beautiful blush pink/taupe top with a pale green underside. Now, this one I didn’t realise until writing this post – is toxic – and I have it positioned within reach of the mini’s. I will need to move it as soon as possible because the cat likes to nibble on anything that looks like a plant. Literally, I nearly lost a flax/Reed lamp to her ‘covert’ eating habits. This plant like other arrow heads grow very compact when they are small and then start to branch out in sprawling vines when they mature. They have a beautiful soft romantic look and look amazing when they are hung high with the vines draped. Beware though,  I often have to swat ‘pinchy fingers’ away when visitors are curious to check if it is real. They come in a variety of colours and the leaf shaped varies slightly between variations.

    Nearing the end of this post I have to admit – Not every plant has made it – I ALSO have some epic disasters in the form of a Cactus named ‘Sugar’ who has been with me for many years – I think it is dead, I think it has been dead for years. But I am still hopeful as long as there is a bit of green on it. My other disasters are the productive food supply indoor kitchen plants – HERBS for short. They need more, or maybe less love and attention than I can provide. I tend to over water, heavily prune, have them in direct sunlight on a sill….. all sorts of wrong. However, to balance it out I do have a thriving and totally accidental pot of potatoes on a table on the deck under the watchful gaze of Buddha. So win some lose some. I am going to keep trying.

    Houseplants make great pets. If I could live in a lush tropical indoor jungle I would, oh how I would!