#ask mort

[mortimerlatrice]

*comes up to your door in a red velvet shirt, tight jeans and holding a hedgehog plushie* ART TRICK OR TREAT 😈🎃

Um, trick? This feels like a trick. Have some hedgehog Vegas??? 🎃

[lesoldatmort]

20, 21 and 30, please c:

20 - what do you want most in the world right now?

Ohh tricky! Well, to stay in good health I think! That way I can be useful for myself and people around me most ♥

21 - if you could tell your past self one thing, what would it be?

To my 17yo self: "You can exercise your knees! You don't have to wait for a surgery!!! It is not needed!!!!" ...also keep going art wise, ilu

30 - what reminds you of home (doesn’t have to mean house… just things that remind you of the feeling of home)?

This is gonna sound silly but it's actually a running joke me and my partner made up after moving so many times in past six years lol

The sound of Playstation 4 starting up and the home screen music playing afterwards :")))

[kyuala]

como seria ser esposa troféu do Enzo?? onde seu único trabalho é cuidar se si mesma e ser rica? 😍

AIIIII SONHO DE TODAS AS GIRLIES PQP 💅🏼✨ não revisei mto peço perdão 😝

não sei se isso condiz muito com a realidade mas nossa, pensando aqui num enzo que gosta de BANCAR. que tem ORGULHO de olhar pra mulher dele e vê-la vestida da cabeça aos pés nas roupas e acessórios da melhor qualidade que ELE deu pra ela, que adora enchê-la de presentes... 💭

ele é total a favor da sua independência financeira caso vc queira, agora caso não queira... vai trabalhar sempre tendo em mente vc 🫵🏼 juro, acho que ele sente até um senso de motivação a mais sabendo que ele tá trabalhando pra te dar a vida de mimos que vc merece. ele te dá acesso a todas as contas bancárias e todos os cartões dele (e ainda dá um especial pra vc, se possível personalizado ou black 😶‍🌫️), fala pra vc usar como e quando quiser e, apesar de às vezes olhar a fatura do banco, suspirar e falar "olha o estrago que vc tá fazendo na minha vida, nena", ele adora!!!! ver que vc tá usando como se fosse teu mesmo (até pq na cabeça dele tudo que é dele é teu, então é mesmo)

e mesmo sabendo que vc pode muito bem usar o dinheiro dele pra comprar o que vc quiser, ele ainda AMA de paixão te presentear. aniversários, datas comemorativas, até em dias que aparentemente não têm nada de especial ele chega com um mimo pra vc, seja aqueles buquês gigantes de rosas vermelhas (ele é fã desses), jóias caras ou roupas de grife (é defensor de que vc merece apenas do melhor) ou coisas menos caras mas mais focadas num valor sentimental, como um disco que contém a música de vcs, um quadro da sua paisagem favorita que viram na lua de mel e muitas vezes até se aventura com coisas diferentes, como a vez que ele te deu uma caixa de sabonetes artesanais que ele mesmo fez, todos com fragrâncias que o lembram de vc. ele é muito fã mesmo de presentes que vêm do coração tbm e ele presta atenção, viu? muita mesmo, em todos os seus detalhes. cada presente dele parece que ele deu uma lida completa na sua alma

e como ele não é bobo nem nada, às vezes ele gosta de receber um agradinho em troca também, né? quando vc compra alguma coisa que ele julga ser exorbitantemente cara ou quando vc gasta mais com os outros do que consigo mesma (tipo a vez que vc jurava que sua amiga tava precisando muito de ajuda e a ajuda foi tipo, gastaram mais de mil reais num restaurante pq ela tava triste e vc achava que ela precisava sair de casa). aí ele vai dar uma risadinha soprada pelo nariz, balançar a cabeça, falar que vc não tem jeito mesmo, né? é incorrigível, tá toda mimadinha já pela forma como ele te trata como rainha... talvez vc precise fazer por merecer um pouquinho agora, sabe? pq seu homem precisa de um agrado também... e vc obviamente mais do que concorda, já se ajoelhando no chão em frente a ele mal ele termina de dizer as palavras (mas é tudo leve e uma brincadeira acordada entre vcs gente pelo amor de deus jamais acho que ele faria isso tipo real ☠️ é só pelo conceito da fic)

também ADORA investir em vc em outras áreas e gosta de acompanhar os resultados e te incentivar. ele tá pagando um curso pra vc? nossa, vc é tão inteligente... que tal dar uma aulinha demonstrativa pra ele? ele comprou livro de receitas, aparelhos novos pra cozinha e te deixou livre pra gastar e pegar o que quiser no mercado? vai ficar todo caidinho de amores quando a primeira vez que vc tenta algo já transforma em um jantar romântico pros dois como forma de agradecimento a ele. ele te pagou uma viagem pra fazer sozinha pq confia muito em vc e acha que vc merece relaxar, mesmo que ele mesmo não consiga te acompanhar por causa do trabalho? te pede fotos, vídeos e atualizações a cada hora do dia pra ver seu sorriso e vc se divertindo. ele paga seu crossfit, seu yoga, seu pilates que vc faz bem madame de dia de semana às 3 da tarde? poxa, dá uma voltinha pra ele quando sair do banho pra ele ir acompanhando seu progresso também... 👁️👁️

agora se tem uma coisa que derrete o coração dele e o desarma de qualquer coisa na hora é quando vc usa o dinheiro dele pra mimar ele. ele fala e fala e fala que não precisa se preocupar com ele, tudo que ele quer ele já tem (lê-se: você) e o que mais ele precisar ele mesmo arruma, é um cara simples, não precisa de muita coisa. gosta de gastar com vc justamente pq recebe mais dinheiro do que consegue ele mesmo gastar. mas sempre que percebe que mesmo assim vc insiste em presenteá-lo regularmente, também presta atenção em todos os gostos dele e todos os comentários que ele faz sobre o que gostaria, mesmo que por cima, e depois aparece com algo personalizado e sob medida pra ele... mulher, ele fica com um sorriso bobo no rosto o resto da semana, coloca a mãozinha de lei no peito sinalizando o quanto ele tá tocado e, claro, te recompensa mais ainda da forma que vc desejar 😇

bônus: é fã número 1 de te levar em eventos importantes e red carpets e acredita fielmente que vc é a pessoa mais linda, gostosa, bem vestida, inteligente e interessante de todo o evento e vai falar pra todo mundo isso e vai te fazer se sentir bem assim mesmo. amamos enzo maridinho que é praticamente um sugar daddy 💘💝💖💗💓💞💕

[bolly--quinn]

If Diane came back for real she would get along with Morty so well that Rick would be the one jealous and angry about being left behind. Diane and Morty babyyy

you're sooooo right anon like that's her baby's baby, that's her little baby boy, that's HER little guy she'd be like his biggest fan and always in his corner that's HER GRANDSON OK <3

like GOOD ENDING:

[queer-ragnelle]

Do you have a guide/a recommended reading list for getting into Arthurian legends? I’ve been really getting into it in the past few months but I feel like I’m missing out on a lot of the foundations of it. (If you don’t and this is too big of an ask totally feel free to ignore this lol)

hello, anon.

i don't currently although i have plans to add another page to my blog listing medieval texts as well as links to download pdfs of them. i have english translations of texts originating in belarussian, dutch, french, german, hebrew, italian, latin, middle english, and last but not least, welsh.

in the mean time, i've collected for you some key texts that are readily available to read for free online!

le morte d'arthur by sir thomas malory [part 1] [part 2]

the history of the britons by nennius [here]

the mabinogion translated by lady charlotte guest [here]

four romances by chrétien de troyes [here]

parzival by wolfram von eschenbach [part 1] [part 2]

the wedding of sir gawain and dame ragnelle translated by thomas hahn [here]

sir gawain and the green knight translated by j. r. r. tolkien [here]

better translations/formatting forthcoming! enjoy. :^)

[joshym]

would anyone be interested in a teaser for le morte d'arthur ch 5 in the next day or so? i have a little something to share before the rest of the chapter is finished. so sorry this one is taking a little longer, but hopefully a sneak peek will make up for it 🤍

[sharkgirldick]

happy birth!!🍰🎈🎉

‼️‼️‼️

AAAAA THANK YOUUUUUU HOLY SHIT

[sickfreaksirkay]

[askthebrawlers]

Hey Edgar, psst- have a cookie for your hard work at the gift shop 🍪🍪🍪 hope you get to keep your tips today :'D

Ed: Thanks, but if Colette doesn't pocket any of the tips before Griff gets to them, we won't be getting much.

[mortimerlatrice]

For a drawing prompt.... what about Vegas sitting with his pant legs in the pool? :')

you don't have to add porsche in there. honestly, it's worse (funnier) if vegas is just sitting in a pool like that and sipping wine on his own. :')

I know we all love them wet and pathetic ♡

[lesoldatmort]

7, 9

7. what color brings you peace? Warm beige as the color of bones or black (any shade, I prefer dim colors)

9. what calms you down? Gonna list a few specific things, because I can't point out just one :D Having a cup of jasmine tea, lying down with a phone to play my little silly pkmn games for a while, cuddling a cat, crosshatching my inks, cleaning and washing bones&skulls, ...or doing an absolute clean up of my desk workspace or the whole room/appartment :')

I'd also like to add sleep. Sleep good. Anytime.

[theaviatorthatcouldnotfly]

I miss Milo Murphy's Law :(( did you have any Season 3 ideas?

jsbfksjflls I HAVE SO MANY IDEAS ANON YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE-

of course milo and zack getting chased by something big and round in the first episode (maybe some topiary thing because it would be spring)

milo and his new telepathy!! chad feels kinda down and milo gives him a hug and tells him he hopes he feels better soon. joni is uncomfortable in class because it's way too cold and milo gives her a spare jacket. bradley is nervous about not doing well on his math test and milo wishes him good luck and tells him he'll do great. amanda forgets her eraser at home and panics for a second before milo, from across the room, tosses one onto her desk.

(and all the whole everyone's just like ".........how'd you know when I didn't even SAY anything" and milo's all "well, what doesn't kill you on an alien planet only gives you telepathy!" and no one can tell if he's joking or not)

oh and speaking of bradley: an episode where he and milo get trapped in a classroom or just have to spend the entire day together and within the span of 11 minutes of one-on-one interaction with milo he kinda has a "huh. you're not so bad" kinda moment. he even lets milo hug him for an entire 2 seconds at the end!!!!

for the sake of continuity some recurring character/s have their "a big round thing is rolling through the school and it may or may not be caused by my own actions so I need to stop it before things get destroyed!!! also 'just roll with it' is magically playing in the background idk how that happened" subplot

an episode with the kiddos (the entire mid-afternoon snack club group + chad pls) spying on mr drako (chad insisted) to determine whether he really is a vampire. in the end there is still no definitive answer and everyone but chad is tired

i need dakavendish follow-up i need them to be the biggest losers in existence with each other

they absolutely have to call each other "balthazar"and "vinnie" at least once

joshua pruett mentioned that they were playing around with dakavendish being promoted and actually getting opportunities to save the world but they (particularly cavendish) end up hating it. I need that to happen. I NEED IT. the angst potential has entered the room

ZALISSA FOLLOW UP!!!! a bit of awkwardness perhaps bc they are dorks. romantic directness on the same level as S2 milanda please

also more milanda more milanda more milanda im-

another school dance episode!!

zack has to take care of his twin siblings for the day and they want to meet the other two members of the infamous trust triangle so he goes and invites milo and melissa over. chaos ensues and by the the time milo and melissa leave the house the front section of zack's lawn has been burnt to a crisp and the twins have fallen fast asleep even though it's barely 7 in the evening

MEETING YOUR SECOND DIMENSION COUNTERPARTS???? since season 3 was supposed to be directed towards interdimensional stuff??

bonus points if dakavendish is canon in the second dimension

milo goes over to amanda's house to work on a project at one point and amanda already warned her parents about murphy's law and told them to baby proof their most prized possessions. they both end up taking a liking to milo and his positivity while also being slightly terrified of him. by some miracle the project does get finished but not without the typical dose of chaos and fires

an episode dedicated to bradley, mort, chad, and amanda and what they do all day when they're not actually part of the main plot

and more bradley mort chad and amanda in general I just love of all of them

more saneal!! I need them and milo to go to a dr. zone comic con together and dress up and be the gigantic loveable dorks that they are together

doofenshmirtz still needs to continue his professor time arc so he's still gotta be there ofc but give him less screen time than s2 pleaseeee. it's milo murphy's law and at the end of the day the focus should always be coming back to milo, zack, and melissa as well as dakota and cavendish

MORE JUST GETTING STARTED!!!

dakavendish finally gets that trip to hawaii

the murphys go on vacation for spring break and yet again total chaos ensues

more school field trips to the museum

for the sake of middle school shenanigans and continuity another sports-academics thing. I'm coining the term cherography (chess-marathon running-geography) but literally anything would be fine by me

the kids go to a public middle school so the inevitable standardized testing episode must be done

I'd love to see a school talent show or a school play episode (run by amanda and assisted by milo of course)

episode/s where melissa is just trying to go about her day with milo and zack when she suddenly disappears after getting caught up in the newest Time Travel Related plot of the week. zack and milo are confused until suddenly she and savannah reappear out of nowhere to deliver an out of context warning ("DONT GO NEAR THE DUMPSTER" or "GO BUY COTTON CANDY NOT ICE CREAM") before disappearing again to fix things

just more melissa and BOTT shenanigans in general honestly i love to see it

an episode focusing on the mml gals!! it could be brigette and sara it could be amanda and melissa and lydia it could be all of them it could be other characters but just an episode like that!

there's a mandatory science fair thing and milo and zack are partners so they decide to go with the most convenient option possible which happens to be a potato-powered lightbulb. somehow they literally flood the school gym with their potato-powered lightbulbs but as it turns out half the class didn't bother to or forgot to do their projects so they just take the lightbulbs and use those as their projects. by the end mrs. murasaki gives everyone a 'C' for functioning but unoriginal projects apart from melissa and bradley as well as amanda and joni

yeah that's all from me but first and foremost I wish mml would get renewed!!!!! for s3!!! usvfkajnfkajmfmalmdlanfms

[very-normal-pizza-tower-askblog]

howdy howdy there! apologies for the sudden appearance(s).

how have you & the others holdin' up after the whole, tower thing? doin' well? normal-ish?

— 🛠️

[queer-ragnelle]

Feel like malory choose which characters he didnt like and which he did and then went through the motions of doing his retelling but that means stuff like Arthur doing the Mayday Massacre gets like a paragraph and has no influence on the narrative. Malory put a biblical exodus king/herod the great moment in there and then said “dont worry about it :]” meanwhile I literally cannot stop thinking about The Implications

he really did. the largest downside is malory was simplifying the post vulgate, which was already a simplification of the vulgate. so it’s like a horrendous game of telephone & all the depth & nuance is lost.

for example, in the post vulgate, arthur sleeps with morgause when he’s young, before he’s married, & she didn’t realize it was him (it was dark?? medieval logic.) point being that the adultery double standard isn’t a factor, she did not mean to cheat on lot, & arthur was single. that’s a narrative hiccup on malory’s part. furthermore the prophecy of a child born on may day come to destroy the kingdom was vague, so arthur’s intention was to round up the children born around that time, & raise them, until they were old enough to distinguish who was who. lot & morgause were sending baby mordred willingly, thinking this was a good opportunity for their son to be tutored in the high king’s household, only for the ship to crash, & for them to believe their son had died as a result of this summons. but he didn’t, & was raised alongside sagramore, eventually coming to court & learning of his real brothers, the other sons of morgause, that way.

i think the original stories & spins malory included were the best of it, especially gareth beaumains & his adventures with the damosel savage. but much of what he adapted he fumbled, all the motifs are forgotten, characters are inconsistent or hold beliefs which aren’t supported by the narrative itself (ie, mark sucks we hate him! what has he done? shhh don’t worry about that just hate him! team tristan!). kind of a mess!

i recommend the vulgate instead. it’s long. but skipping the history of the grail starting from the story of merlin it gives an in depth explanation of everything at play, all the characters rise to power, & their motivations. then the vulgate proper picks up with baby lancelot. norris j. lacy’s translation is a dream to read with really thorough footnotes to explain any references made or translation nuances.

the PDFs can be read here if you’re so inclined.

[anthonycrowley]

the thing is. and i mean this in the nicest way possible. i read anything from discworld and i’m like oh this is why i like gomens it’s the pratchett of it all.

[aa-400]

tag game!!!

its been a Hot™ while since ive seen one of these whew

rules: tag nine (9) people you want to know better and/or catch up with, then answer these questions below!

tagged by @keepthemacramesecret hell yeah thank u arthur!!!

four ships: these are just current faves because four is such a tiny number gfghgf

arthur/john (malevolent) (to the surprise of no one lmao) wrightworth (ace attorney) lord arum/damien/rilla (the penumbra podcast) kojiro/kaoru (sk8 the infinity)

last song: flowers by miley cyrus (dont judge me its catchy!! also idc that its some post-breakup single life empowerment anthem im choosing to view it through aroace lenses)

currently reading: i have a bunch of audiobooks i rotate as bedtime listening but uhhh the king in yellow by robert w chambers, the farthest shore by ursula k le guin, and the first welcome to night vale novel by joseph fink and jeffrey cranor. also i really need to finish jonny sims' thirteen storeys, its so good but im so bad at sitting down with a physical book these days

last movie: i uhhhh cant remember? mightve been klaus which i watched in december before christmas. i dont watch movies much lmao.

craving: nothing at the moment!

tagging: @curiousrei @lintunen @nurmilintu @ceruleanmusings @ft-the-stars @safitheartist @monoshiki @ohnebulae @quietalight