#astra i'm blaming you

[viric-dreams]

The Clandestine Confessor

Robert Jones

Born: Cardiff, 1862

Occupation: Midnighter

Closest to: The Great Game

Qualities: Watchful, Persuasive, Mithridacy

Quirks: Subtle, Steadfast

Jones grew up in the aftershocks of London's Fall. For a brief period, it seemed like anything was possible, the powers turning the wheels were not as inevitable as they seemed. He turned to politics at an early age, notably agitating for a Celtic Union in London's absence from the Isles.

His political ambitions came to a sudden and violent end in the late 80s, when he was arrested at a rally. He'd been a thorn in their side for years. This time, he would be made an example of--to serve his extended sentence in New Newgate.

Those first several years in the Neath were not pleasant. The conditions at New Newgate had nearly worn Jones down, when one day a letter appeared in his cell. An interested party knew of his political background and was willing to make a deal: He could either continue to rot in his cell, or take the offer and step onto the chessboard.

The Great Game gave him a new lease on life, but he refuses to let it consume him. Jones believes in a strong wall between profession and personal life, and has no interest in speaking about what it is that he does to either friend or stranger. He does enjoy the work (what he remembers of it) and the sense of absolving agents of their burdens. Outside of work, however, he works to maintain an active social life. His time in Newgate took a toll on him and he's no longer the young firebrand he once was, but he still holds a certain degree of magnetism, when he wants to turn it on. He enjoys social gatherings, content to stake out a corner and observe the guests around him. On occasion, he'll step into the centre of the group and entertain them with a tale in which he somehow manages to express so much, yet nothing at all.

(the scar near his temple came from a constable's baton during a protest turned ugly in the early 80s)

[imissthefire]

if stefan turns out to be, like, some level of not good, I'm gonna drop kick him into the fucking sun.

[just-another-josh]

Maroon

“You ARE using Myriad.”

“Lena, what are you doing here?”

“Question is, what are you doing here, Supergirl? I thought it was forbidden to use Myriad but forbidden for anyone but you.”

“There are people missing, dozens of them stuck in Obsidian's VR. I have to find them.”

“There are other ways to find people than Myriad. I can think of four off the top of my head, but you, you do what you want.”

“What I'm doing is finding people your brother disappeared.”

“Do you have any proof that it was Lex…no, I didn't think so. You just return to your default position of blaming a Luthor. You did tell me you'd treat me like a villain.”

“If you acted like one, yeah, I did say that. And right now, you're trespassing, and I don't have time for this. You need to go.”

“I'll leave when you stop using Myriad.”

“That's not gonna happen.”

“To think that I was sincere with you yesterday. Then I guess you're used to being two-faced.”

Kara stared blankly at the ceiling. When she arrived home, she hadn’t even bothered to get out of her Super-suit. She skipped her fridge, her appetite nonexistent. Hell, she hadn’t even bothered to turn the lights on, instead opting to faceplant into her bed.

It had been a miserable day…. scratch that, an exceptionally miserable day.

Now, mind you, not the worst day of her life; that distinguished honor belonged solely to the day she watched her planet die. Today wasn’t worse than the day Astra died, or the day Reign beat her into a coma, or the day she watched an antimatter wave destroy Argo (yes, it was later restored, but she didn’t know that at the time). 

No, today’s suffering ranked somewhere between dating Mon-El and Alex having her memories of Kara’s secret identity removed, less about death and destruction and more about emotional damage.

It all started yesterday: Lena had come to her office and offered her condolences regarding Jeremiah’s death, even going so far as to provide her a copy of “Going On Being” to help her through the grieving process. It was an emotional albeit awkward exchange, but it was the first time since Lena had stolen Myriad that the two of them had spoken without any underlying hostility. It was the first time Kara had seen a glimmer of the old Lena; with all the warmth, kindness, and compassion that she knew her former best friend once felt toward her. There was no sign of hate or malice in her voice, just sympathy and understanding.

Rao, she even called her ‘Kara’.

It gave Kara hope. Hope that maybe this was Lena’s way of offering an olive branch. Hope that things weren’t so far gone between them that they couldn’t mend the bridge that had been razed by their lies. More importantly, hope that Kara could reveal to Lena all the other secrets that the CEO was still unaware of.

Unfortunately, today’s encounters with Lex, the Morae, the baby Sun-Eater, and Lena’s impromptu visit to the Fortress of Solitude had laid waste to Kara’s burgeoning hope.

If Kara was being honest with herself, the issues with Lex, the Morae, and Kal’s pet Sun-Eater (they were going to have a very long, unpleasant conversation about that the next time she saw him) were nothing exceptional, just an average Tuesday in the life of a Super. What kept her mind stuck in a cycle of self-flagellation was her argument with Lena. She continued to replay the conversation in her head and the more she dissected it, the angrier she became at herself.

To put it succinctly, she’d been stupid.

What she said was stupid.

What she did was stupid.

Stupid.

Stupid.

Stupid.

There were dozens of other things she could have said or done during their confrontation. Instead, she continued to throw more gasoline on the inferno their relationship had become. At this point, she’d lost count of how many asinine mistakes she’d made since Lena had entered her life.

The look on Lena’s face when she discovered she was using Myriad continued to haunt her. She could see anger, betrayal, and worst of all, disappointment written all over the CEO’s face. Kara continued to torture herself trying to figure out what Lena was most disappointed about. Was it Kara’s perceived hypocrisy regarding Myriad or was it her dismissive attitude towards Lena’s objections to her using it?

It occurred to her that maybe Lena put just as much value as she did in their conversation at CatCo the previous day. Maybe she was just as hopeful that they were on their way to repairing their tattered relationship, only to have the possibility utterly crushed.

All Kara knew at this point was that any chance of mending her broken heart had been ripped away and she had no one to blame but herself.

Compounding all of this was a nagging question that was quickly forcing its way into the forefront of Kara’s thoughts; something Lena had said during their brief tête-à-tête. It was a throwaway observation that Lena had made that, at the time, had been overshadowed by much more biting, cruel remarks. On the surface, it seemed completely benign, but as Kara often did, she pulled the statement apart piece by piece hoping to find if there was something she was missing. Some hidden clue that might provide her with a way to unfuck the situation.

Kara’s frustration was maxing out her patience. Under normal circumstances, if she was confused by something someone had said, she’d just ask them for clarification. But that wasn’t possible with Lena. She’d made it very clear that Kara was persona non grata at both her penthouse and L-Corp. She’d be pissed if Kara showed up unannounced at either location just to ask her to explain her comment. It would be reckless and stupid to just fly to wherever Lena was and confront her. She would have to be out of her mind to even contemplate being within a hundred yards of Lena after what transpired today.

Right?

Well…it would be if Kara didn’t have a plan.

A plan like the one she had just come up with.

Kara shut her eyes and tuned out the cacophony of sounds surrounding her to find a very specific heartbeat.

Kara sprung from her bed and made a mad dash to grab her cellphone off the kitchen counter; rapidly pulling up Alex’s contact.

*****

After a quick stop at the Tower to pick up the “package” that Alex had prepared for her, Kara continued on to her final destination.

Two hundred yards out from Lena’s penthouse, Kara’s super-hearing picked up the sound of proximity sensors alerting Lena to her approach. She heard Lena’s heartbeat spike at the automated notification accompanied shortly thereafter by a few sniffles. It sounded like the CEO was or had recently been crying. As much as Kara wanted to use her x-ray vision to confirm her suspicions, she didn’t want to violate Lena’s privacy any further than she already had by showing up unannounced.

Kara started getting nervous that Lena wasn’t going to come out, but before her anxiety could spiral any further, her former best friend emerged from the hallway; her gait as she approached the sliding glass door leading to the balcony indicated she was less than pleased with Kara’s impromptu visit. Kara was too distracted to notice Lena’s aggressive approach; her attention firmly focused on Lena’s attire. The CEO was clad in the same suit she wore when she confronted Kara in the Fortress earlier that day. Too distracted at the time to give it more than a passing glance, all the air escaped Kara’s lungs now that she was able to get a thorough view. She couldn’t help but admire the sharp, formfitting cut of the dark-hued suit, but her focus quickly shifted to the scintillating top that accompanied it. Kara licked her suddenly dry lips as she regarded the lace, floral print mock-neck top, and more importantly, the way it hugged Lena’s body like a second skin. She looked every bit the powerful, commanding, confident CEO. In Kara’s eyes, she looked like a goddess and, as far as Kara was concerned, she deserved to be worshipped like one.

Kara’s appreciation (appropriate or not, she couldn’t decide), was quickly tempered by the sobering thought that not too long ago, she would’ve been able to gush to Lena about how handsome she looked. Lena, as per usual, would try to take the compliment in stride, but her blushing cheeks and elevated heartbeat would give away how much she appreciated it.

But that was a lifetime ago, or what seemed like one. Until yesterday, Kara hadn’t been able to be in the same room as her without Lena’s resentment, pain, and feelings of betrayal enveloped them both, much less pay her a compliment about how stunning she looked.

Kara’s attention was quickly drawn back to reality as Lena stepped onto the balcony; the CEO was brandishing a very large blaster cannon. The cannon was clearly one of Lena’s custom jobs as it appeared to be constructed with an amalgam of alien parts.

“I don’t have time for any more of your bullshit, Supergirl!” Lena’s rage was on full display; her adrenaline infused heart thundered loudly. “You have five seconds to get the hell out of my airspace or I start shooting!” Lena furiously demanded.

So much for the warm welcome. Not that Kara expected one, but this…seemed a bit over the top.

Kara apparently wasn’t moving fast enough to comply with Lena’s command. The CEO activated the cannon and pointed it at Kara. “It’s not Kryptonite and it won’t kill you, but it’s got enough kick to knock you on your perfectly sculpted ass!”

Kara tilted her head to the side, confusion etched on her face from the off-hand comment. She decided to file it away for another day when she saw an orange glow coming from the cannon’s muzzle and Lena cocking her head to sight-in her target.

It was now or never.

“Would have helped me?” Kara yelled out.

“What?” Lena’s position remained unchanged.

“You said back at the Fortress that you knew at least four different ways to find the trapped Obsidian users, would you have helped me if I’d asked?” Kara did her best to keep her voice steady, hoping that Lena wouldn’t pick up on her anxiety.

Lena seemed taken aback by the question. Her brows furrowed, jaw clenched, and green eyes locked on Kara as she considered the question. Kara remained silent, floating quietly and not making any effort to get closer to the balcony. The quiet stand-off continued for another minute before Kara noticed Lena’s hands begin shaking from beneath the cannon. Kara could see the internal struggle going on inside Lena based on the conflicted look on the brunette’s face. Lena’s breathing intensified and her heartbeat became more rapid. Anyone who didn’t know the CEO’s facial tics would say she looked like she was in physical pain, but Kara knew better. She knew Lena’s logical side was currently warring with her emotions. She also knew that the best thing to do when Lena got into this type of headspace was to shut up and patiently wait for her to reengage.

With a flash of gnashed teeth and a frustrated growl, Lena powered down the cannon and lowered it to her side. Her eyes remained locked on Kara’s, but the tense look on her face softened into a resigned expression. She breathed out a long sigh, shut her eyes, and hesitantly nodded.

Kara let loose a relieved sigh and allowed herself a small grin. She regained Lena’s attention and motioned towards the balcony. “May I?”

Lena rolled her eyes and made an overdramatic wave signaling Kara to land. She unceremoniously dropped the laser cannon atop the smooth surface of the railing and turned back to face the slowly descending Kryptonian.

Kara’s boots lightly padded on the balcony as she landed; the hero made sure to allow Lena plenty of personal space. Despite the distance between them, Kara was able to confirm her theory when she first arrived: Lena had indeed been crying; evidenced by her puffy, red eyes.

Lena squared her shoulders and leveled Kara with a glare that fell somewhere between annoyed and homicidal; Kara was hoping it was closer to the former. “So what is it tonight, Supergirl? Begging for forgiveness or threatening me again?” Kara flinched from the blatant hostility. The scowl on Lena’s face drove a red-hot poker through Kara’s heart.

“No, nothing like that.” Kara reached into her belt and produced a flash drive. “I came to bring you this,” she said as she held up the pinky-sized device for Lena to view.

Lena cast a suspicious look towards Kara. “What is that?”

Kara contemplated pointing out that it was a flash drive but refrained; Lena was clearly not in a joking mood. “It’s a copy of the database from the Tower. Incident reports, field reports, surveillance footage, research, psych profiles, intelligence reports…basically everything we’ve compiled since the creation of Earth-Prime.”

Lena covered her surprise behind a loud throat clearing. “Intelligence reports on what exactly?”

Kara knew this would be the first thing Lena would focus on and had her response pre-loaded. “Obsidian, Andrea, Ben Lockwood, The DEO, Leviathan, Eve Teschmacher, Lex-”

“Of course,” Lena interrupted, practically sneering.

Kara ignored the comment. “And you,” she finished, locking eyes with Lena.

Lena’s mouth gaped open at Kara’s admission but she quickly regained her composure, her expressionless veneer now firmly in place. “Why are you giving this to me?”

Kara nervously chewed her bottom lip.  Her plan really didn’t involve a well thought out and rehearsed speech; Kara knew she would have forgotten every line once she faced Lena. Instead, she decided to let her words be guided by a singular directive:

Tell her the truth.

“I’m putting all my…our cards on the table so you can have an idea of what we’re up against. I want you to review the information and draw your own conclusions…then…maybe you can figure out where you fit into all this, instead of me telling you where you should be.” Lena remained silent; her face completely unreadable. Kara fought to mirror Lena’s stoicism but couldn’t hide her slight fidget. “And, selfishly, we could really use your help. The team hasn’t been the same since you…left.”

“Something tells me your sister would be less than thrilled if she found out you were giving me this.”

“Who do you think helped me put this together?” Kara said proudly, not even trying to hide her smile.

“You’ll have to excuse me if I don’t believe you,” Lena bit back.

Kara’s smile quickly disappeared, replaced by a crestfallen look. “That’s fair.” She forced herself to meet Lena’s icy glare head-on. “And why should you? All I’ve done is tell you that you should trust me and then shown you the complete opposite with my actions.”

“Is that why you’re giving that to me?” Lena nodded toward the flash drive still in Kara’s hand. “Is that your grand gesture to show your trustworthiness?”

Kara shrugged her shoulders, a sad smile on her face. “It would be great if you genuinely saw it that way but, no, there’s no strings attached.”

“Seems a bit risky to trust such sensitive information to a villain.” Lena’s voice was pure venom.

Kara involuntarily shuttered, a chill running through her spine at Lena’s brazen contempt. The hero ran a hand through her hair attempting to quell her feelings of shame and embarrassment that threatened to overwhelm her.

Tell her the truth.

Kara huffed out a sigh and placed the flash drive back into her belt. “I think we can both agree that me calling you a villain was one of the stupidest things I’ve ever said.” Kara dared to make eye contact with Lena only to receive a head tilt and raised brow from the CEO. “If you’re willing to humor me for a minute, I’d like to explain what happened that night,” Kara said with a hopeful look. Lena remained impassive; Kara took her lack of response as consent to continue. “You’re probably not going to believe me…no, I guarantee you won’t believe me, but earlier that evening I was visited by a fifth dimensional imp who showed me four different timelines where I told you I was Supergirl before Lex did.” Lena scoffed in disbelief, but Kara chose not to acknowledge her outburst. “All of them were a complete disaster no matter how early in our friendship I told you.” The memories of that night flooded back into her mind, forcing Kara to swallow the lump forming in her throat. “You ended up either dead or mutilated in three of the four timelines.” Kara’s eyes became glassy. “It scared the hell out of me, Lena, because even though none of those timelines were real, they reminded me of how vulnerable you are; especially now that you’re working with…” Kara trailed off and took a shaky breath. “It terrifies me that you’re working with Lex. I’m so scared that one day he’s going to decide he doesn’t need you anymore or he wants payback against you for shooting him and puts a bullet in the back of your head.” Kara began to choke up, her breath coming out in stuttering waves.

Lena watched on, her icy façade slowly melting as Kara endeavored to even out her breathing. Once she was able to compose herself, Kara’s watery blue eyes met with the CEO’s. “I can accept that you don’t want me in your life; I hate it, but I can accept it as long as I know you’re happy and thriving. But what I could never accept…could never live with…is a world without you in it.” Kara’s eyes began to glow; her face twisted with barely contained fury. “If Lex…if he took you from…if he killed you, I would track him down and tear him apart piece by piece until he begged me to kill him…and Rao help anyone who got in my way,” Kara choked out with a growl.

Lena’s brow furrowed and her mouth fell slightly open as she tried to process Kara’s chilling admission. Kara’s eyes cooled as she slowly composed herself. She took a step towards Lena. Much to her surprise, the CEO made no effort to step back. The two stood just out of arm’s length from each other. “So, when I landed here that night, I was so afraid that I decided to go the tough love route and give you some bullshit ultimatum that I knew was going to fail even before I finished saying it.” Kara’s entire body tensed, her balled up fists dug into her thighs as waves of shame rolled through her body. She took another step towards Lena. “I was so scared and desperate to get you away from him that I stupidly thought threats would be more effective than trying to reason with you.” Kara shook her head in disgust, jaw tightly clenched.

“You could have just talked to me,” Lena timidly admitted. “I might not have given you the warmest response, but I would have listened.”

Kara could see that Lena’s features had significantly softened. The hero thought she may have detected a hint of warmth and compassion in those hypnotic green eyes. Kara hesitantly grinned, not completely sure how to react to Lena’s changed demeanor, but it was short-lived. She was swiftly overcome with guilt; a forlorn look darkened her features.

“That would have been a kindness I didn’t…I don’t deserve.” Kara shook her head again, internally chastising herself. With a start, she realized that she was mere feet from Lena. As their eyes met for what seemed like the hundredth time that night, Kara was close enough to see the different shades in each of Lena’s irises. Kara could see that Lena’s hardened resolve had dissipated into a hesitant vulnerability.

Tell her the truth.

“Lena, I didn’t listen to you,” Kara said contritely. “You were right, what you said when you took Myriad. You told me about all the people you loved that betrayed you, but I didn’t listen. You begged me, in ways both said and unsaid, not to violate your trust, but I didn’t listen.” Kara could see Lena’s eyes become glassy with unshed tears, a slight tremble in her lip. Fighting back her own tears, Kara took another shaky breath. “Instead, I listened to my fears and the fears of others…people who, at first, couldn’t get passed your last name and wouldn’t even bother to try and get to know and understand you. I let those fears distract me from what you wanted, what you needed from me. I let those fears convince me that knowing my identity would put you in greater danger, which I know now is just ridiculous. I let those fears stop me from showing you my whole self because they told me you only wanted ‘Kara Danvers’, not ‘Kara Zor-El’. Worst of all, I let those fears convince me that you’d hate me, and that I’d lose you forever.”

Both women had tears streaming down their faces, so completely lost in each other’s eyes that they didn’t bother wiping them away. “I didn’t listen to you…to my heart, and if it costs me you, I will regret that decision for the rest of my life.”

Kara reflexively extended her hand towards Lena but quickly stopped herself when she realized what she was doing. Lena gave no indication that she saw Kara’s aborted attempt, the CEO simply continued to remain fixated on the hero’s eyes, conflicting emotions playing across her face. Kara shut her eyes and took a deep breath; her tightened eyelids unleashed a waterfall of unshed tears. They stood entranced with each other for an indeterminate amount of time before Kara, clearing her throat, snapped them out of it.

The two backed away from each other a few steps and began haphazardly wiping their tears away. Once her eyes were sufficiently cleared, Kara could see Lena’s features harden again, though with less intensity than when she first arrived at the CEO’s penthouse.

Kara could see that Lena was clearly debating with herself but before Kara could ask why, Lena held out her hand. “I’ll take the drive,” she said with calm certainty.

As she retrieved the flash drive from her belt, Kara fought to keep her enthusiasm contained, managing to limit her reaction to a tight grin.

Lena rolled her eyes and reached out for the proffered drive. As the device changed hands, their fingers brushed together. Kara’s super-hearing missed the flutter of Lena’s heartbeat, too distracted by her own thundering pulse that threatened to force her heart from her chest. “No strings?” Lena asked sternly, holding the flash drive at eye level.

“No strings.” Kara assured her with a smile.

“Okay,” Lena replied with hesitancy in her voice, placing the drive in her suit pocket. “I hope you know this doesn’t fix everything.”

Kara ruefully smiled. “I know.” The hero shifted uneasily. “But maybe this could be a start to repairing things…repairing us?” she said with a hopeful look.

Lena leveled Kara with a nervous glance before giving her a curt nod. “Um…so…if that’s all, I’m going to go to bed. It’s…been a long day,” Lena said awkwardly.

“Oh, yeah, right. Crazy day…uh…I’m sure you’re exhausted. Me too. Today’s been a real backbreaker…yeah, I should probably head home too…get some sleep…Oh! Maybe dinner first! Yeah, dinner first, then sleep.” Kara rambled through jittery hands, a slight dusting of pink on her cheeks.

Lena shook her head and turned to enter her penthouse, pulling the hair tie from her ponytail as she neared the backdoor.

Kara watched as Lena’s hair cascaded down her shoulders. She was suddenly struck by a wave of anxiety. Her conversation with Lena had gone better than expected, but Kara had so much more she wanted to say, and she feared she wouldn’t get the opportunity. She was afraid that somehow this tentative…well, whatever it was, would fall apart. She started to panic. Her chest felt like someone was sitting on it, an anxious knot formed in her stomach, and she could feel a lump forming in her throat.

Tell her the truth.

“Lena!” She blurted out without thinking.

The CEO was startled by the hero’s outburst and turned to face her, a yearning, drained look on her face.

“Lena I lo-” Kara’s entire body felt like it was on fire. Now confronted by the moment she so dearly wanted; she froze. She knew what she wanted to say. She wanted to tell her how much she missed her, how much she wanted to hold her, kiss her, and never let her go.

She wanted to tell Lena that she loved her more than anything in the multiverse.

But now wasn’t the time, she knew that deep in her heart. To tell Lena how she really felt about her would be too much, too soon. Their reconciliation was in its infancy, and Kara wasn’t going to jeopardize it by dropping a nuclear-sized emotion bomb on her. It wouldn’t be fair to either of them.

Tell her the truth…when it’s time.

“I love your suit. It’s a…I mean you look…really…” Kara was blushing so hard her cheeks were burning. “…maroon’s a good color on you,” she finally managed to stammer out.

It was apparent that Lena wasn���t expecting the compliment; the blush on her cheeks indicated as much. She averted her eyes from Kara’s gaze and timidly tucked some errant strands of hair behind her ear. Kara couldn’t help the satisfied smile that stretched across her lips; thrilled by Lena’s reaction. For a fleeting moment, it felt like old times, a hopeful reminder that not everything between them was irreparably broken.

Kara’s triumphant moment ended abruptly when Lena caught sight of the hero’s giddiness. Her shyness bled away and was replaced with an air of forced indifference. “Actually, it’s burgundy,” she pointed out haughtily.

“Oh,” Kara said bashfully; her embarrassment coloring her cheeks once again. “Well, you still look pretty handsome in it,” the hero responded sincerely, a look of reverence on her face.

Disarmed by Kara’s candidness, Lena’s regal stature quickly deflated. “Thank you,” she said sheepishly.

Kara’s smile became impossibly brighter. “Goodnight, Lena.” The hero lifted off from the balcony and leisurely coasted away.

Lena watched as her red cape disappeared into the night, a soft grin on her face. “Goodnight, Kara.”

[eeldritchblast]

I don't mean to be rude, but I wasn't expecting your bg3 ocs to be so conventionally attractive (in an eurocentric way)...

My only whitey white OCs are Allani and Emin? Everyone else is, in my head at least, not intended to be white. Even Arcene is just whitepassing. But half of my characters don't have human skin tones, so I can't blame you for not interpreting that.

Cassius is Native (I even intentionally included a metaphor for how white women exotify/objectify Native men in his backstory)

Arcene is Native (I even gave her my own personal history of internalized racism and identity crisis)

Allani is white

Astra is Afro-Asian (South Asian)

Benji is Afro-Latine

Emin is white

Zi'ra is Native

Briza, my newest character who I'm still working out details of, is also Native lol

I tend to talk more about my Native and white OCs only because I don't want to like, step over other creators with characters of their own race/ethnic backgrounds. But as a Mi'kmaw and white person, I'm not stepping on any toes with my own Native and white characters.

[andreal831]

I know you like bonenzo, but what are your thoughts on Carenzo?

I loved their banter throughout season 5, and in season 6 I fell in love with them and was really disappointed when they didn’t ever get together. Enzo is actually my favorite Caroline ship, as Matt was just bad for obvious reasons, Klaus hurt her multiple times (you could honestly call it abuse) and she used him all the time, and I just found her and Stefan extremely boring. I actually liked her and Tyler together, but too much damage was done for them to ever end up together imo.

Also do you think you’ll continue with TGW outtakes? If so, would you consider writing some extra scenes with Elijah, Hayley, and Astra while they were in France?

I adore platonic Carenzo.

If the writers hadn't been so determined to sideline Bonnie and prioritize Damon, Steroline and Bonenzo could have been such a fun group. Enzo and Stefan would have annoyed each other but they would have put up for it for Caroline and Bonnie. I wish they would have continued Stefan and Bonnie's friendship from the early seasons rather than giving it to Damon. It always seemed more realistic for me. Also, Enzo's loyalty to Damon and hatred of Stefan never made sense to me. Honestly, Enzo and Stefan could have bonded over being betrayed by Damon. Enzo just decides to forgive Damon for abandoning him and killing his love and blaming Stefan for everything??

I personally never wanted Caroline and Enzo to be romantic. They bonded during a time where Caroline really needed a friend and Enzo stepped up. It is one of the reasons I love Enzo's character. Enzo was the character they wanted Damon to be. He did a lot of bad (even terrible) things but was striving to be a better person and actually made himself a better person. I would have been fine with them writing Damon off and brining in Enzo for better storylines than they gave him. I also just love Michael Malarkey.

I am a huge advocate for platonic relationships. It's fine to ship people, but not everyone who gets along needs to be romantically invovled. Although I do definitely see why people ship them. But I liked that Caroline and Enzo grew to care for each other but never needed to make it romantic. And honestly, Caroline needed just friends. I feel like the writers were matching her up with anyone she came in contact with. Stefan was gone for five seconds and they had Enzo flirting with her. I wanted the show to focus on friendships/family more than the ships at times.

My favorite ships for Caroline are Steroline and then Forwood. I love friends to lovers. Nearly all of my favorite ships are. Both Steroline and Forwood had that great foundation before they started dating. They were each other's best friends. To me Steroline was always endgame. The way they fought for each other and looked out for one another was great. Forwood is a close runner up and would have been endgame had Klaus not gotten in the way for no reason. Tyler didn't deserve anything Klaus put him through. I think they could have found their way back to each other but they had both already moved on by the time the dust settled.

I did actually like Matt and Caroline at times but they were both just in emotionally fragile spots when they dated. But they were a cute high school relationship. I don't consider Klaus and Caroline a relationship -- it was just straight abuse.

I know I went on a lot of side tangents, but thanks for the ask! I don't talk about TVD nearly enough.

I am continuing TGW Outtakes! I'm also already writing scenes of them spending the weekend in Paris. There will be lots of wine, art, and kissing. I am just writing very slowly now that we are near the end of the story. There are so many lose ends to tie up.

[talktomeinclexa]

Hey there! Hope you're doing well and full of inspiration for your writing! For the ask game:

🐇 ⇢ do you prefer writing original characters, reader inserts, or a mix of both?

🥤 ⇢ recommend an author or fanfic you love

🍓 ⇢ how did you get into writing fanfiction

Hey, there! I'm good, thanks. Resting a little after ClexaWeek before I get back into my almost-finished WIPs. How about you? :)

All right, let's see.

🐇 ⇢ do you prefer writing original characters, reader inserts, or a mix of both?

I never do reader inserts so, OC by default. I've created very few of those so far, though. The main one I can think of was Sloan in Ad Astra, and some people in Polis in On the Ground, especially the Nightbloods. I'm enjoying it and looking forward to developing them in the next part!

🥤 ⇢ recommend an author or fanfic you love

Though one. Our fandom is blessed with so many excellent writers, it's impossible to choose!

Today I'm in the mood for some banter and fun, so I would recommend Spelling It Out by Brilliant5134 (who I only just realized changed their name). It's a Harry Potter AU, but with Clarke and Lexa as wand makers' apprentices. It's hilarious, original, and super well written. The first few chapters make me laugh aloud every time I read it.

🍓 ⇢ how did you get into writing fanfiction

Blame the pandemic... xD

I can't remember how but I stumbled onto some Clexa fics by accident back in 2019, and it made me want to rewatch the show. From there, I found Ao3 and read maaaany fics, especially when the lockdown started where I was. And since I found myself with too much free time on my hands, I started writing too.

I used to tell a lot of stories when I was a kid, but as I grew older and no one encouraged me (my family is more into science and "practical" studies than arts), I forgot that part of myself. I still loved to read and spent hours imagining epic tales while I should have been sleeping, but I kept them to myself. It's only when I discovered fanfiction, and especially Clexa, that I finally dared to let some of them out :)

[coffeewritesfiction]

WIP Questionnaire

Tagged by @bee-barnes-author, thank you!

Gently tagging: @slenders1ckn3ss @kmlaney @bardicbeetle @astras-rambles @meerawrites @musingsbycaitlin @andromedaexists @dyrewrites and an open tag! Blank questions below the cut

For "Farewell Vesperos":

1. What is the first part of your WIP that you created? For the Runner Owen series as a whole, it was all spawned by a single image of a gothic city floating in the sky. It's changed a lot since then, over five years ago I think. I don't remember the first part I came up with for Farewell Vesperos itself, but it was probably the Vesperos family it's named after.

2. If your story was a TV show, what would the theme song/intro be? For Runner Owen? Instrumental, for sure. Owen, my protagonist, walking through the foggy, crystal-lit streets of Theris. Being watched by people in brighter windows, or following him in the darkness. He turns around and lifts his lantern to see... Cut to the title screen.

3. What are your favorite characters that you made? Why? I adore Owen and his two enemies/LIs, Aurum and the Scarred Man. Explaining why is hard, but they and their chemistry just make me happy. There's also Locke and Nora, who are dear to my heart - I think some people I've talked about this with like Locke a little too much, but I don't blame them. For Farewell Vesperos in particular, GOD, I am loving how Lawrence Rhyne is shaping up. He's such a charming fuck.

4. What other pieces of media do you think your fan base would share? Kind of a confusing question. But uh, I've been told [combining the comments of different people] that Farewell Vesperos reads like Jane Eyre with an Agatha Christie type plot, so if you like either of that, you might like Farewell Vesperos. People who like darker fiction - hell, maybe even dark romance specifically! - might enjoy the dynamics between Owen and his two LIs. We'll see how that shapes up though.

5. What has been your biggest struggle with your WIP? Settling on the plot. This is the third edition of this story I'm writing and if it evolves on me again I might just scrap the whole fucking thing.

6. Are there any animals in your story? Talk about them! Not at this point, but the vampires in it can turn into animals. The Scarred Man in particular can become a raven.

7. How do your characters get around? (Ex. Trains, horses, cars, dragons, etc.) There are trains, powered by crystals, a la Victorian steam trains. Most people get around with the draconics that humans have allied with, those being small dragons that cooperate with humans for their own reasons. They function like horses, except some of them can fly.

8. What part of your WIP are you working on right now? Right now, I'm trying to figure out the villain's motivations. I have a terrible habit of imagining awesome things happening and then going 'but wait - I know this character would do this, but why?' Kind of annoying at this point.

9. What aspects (tropes, maybe) of your WIP do you think will draw people in? Well, there's the murder mystery! Lost heirs, arranged marriages, malicious vampires with dreams of conquest, wicked vampire hunters led by callous royalty who will do whatever ruthlessness needed protect humanity, enemies to lovers extreme slow burn [I'm talking over several books], spooky Victorian houses, lots of racially diverse characters, a transmasc protagonist navigating a society with specific gender roles for trans people... And just. Gothic fantasy in general.

10. What are your hopes for your WIP? I don't expect to get a lot of money writing this lmao, but I'm not writing it just for the money. I'm writing it because I know there's guys like me out there who want and need to see themselves as wanted - both as men, and as romantic and sexual partners. I want transmascs like me to feel desired. And I want people that aren't transmasc to really get that we are desirable, and attractive, as any other person. Ultimately though? I just hope people enjoy reading the damn thing and don't rip it to shreds over some stupid plot hole I missed pffft

1. What is the first part of your WIP that you created?

2. If your story was a TV show, what would the theme song/intro be?

3. What are your favorite characters that you made? Why?

4. What other pieces of media do you think your fan base would share?

5. What has been your biggest struggle with your WIP?

6. Are there any animals in your story? Talk about them!

7. How do your characters get around? (Ex. Trains, horses, cars, dragons, etc.)

8. What part of your WIP are you working on right now?

9. What aspects (tropes, maybe) of your WIP do you think will draw people in?

10. What are your hopes for your WIP?

[constantineshots]

so, me being me and having to read everything and watch everything the man is in, just so i can form my own opinions on it, i went and watched seasons four through six of dc's legends of tomorrow. i saw the first season and some of the second when it was initially airing, but no john in that, so.

i don't think i could ever imagine someone other than matt ryan portraying john, and i think that's? pretty unanimous across the community. i don't think i've seen anyone be like "he's TERRIBLE for john constantine". i watched constantine when it was originally airing ( when i was just a little thirteen year old </3 i blame him for the way i turned out ), which took me down this rabbit hole, but this post is about legends, so here goes.

i think one of the things i didn't like was that john was on a team to begin with. once i got past that, i enjoyed a lot of the characters- like sara lance, who i loved to begin with from arrow and stuff, nate heywood, who just seems to be the guy everyone likes and this general force of positive, "roll with it" kind of energy that i liked and how he took things with stride but this isn't about him, charlie who is a punk rock fate with the coolest outfits and a mostly strong will and incredible defiance and when she left i was kicking and screaming but at least she is happy, and zari 1.0 who became my wife from the moment she started speaking which is partially probably the reason why i really did not like zari 2.0.

anyways, i really like the references to hellblazer, whether they were slim or not. for example, they mentioned the whole "killer" thing from his father. which brings me to the scene that made me like. cry a lot. genuine tears in my eyes. where john is at a bar, and his mother is on the other side of the counter and he went there just to see her. granted, he gets kicked out for trying to kick his dad so hard in the balls that he never has kids, but paradox, as zari so loveily explains ( sorry i am in love with her. it shattered my heart when she almost got married. nate's on thin ice, he's lucky i like him ). BUT THEN MY WIFE GOES AND GIVES HIM A PHOTO OF JOHN AND HIS MOM LOOKING HAPPY TOGETHER. what a lovely woman.

this post is meant to be about john, so forgive my tangents on zari, love of my life.

ANYWAY. there was this. i also particularly enjoyed john's insistence on wearing his own little outfit ( trenchcoat. tie. you know, his usual ) around all the time, throughout time periods, because he's a bit of a weirdo. either he has twenty of the same outfit or he doesn't shower. i am choosing the former. but they do have this moment that i found kind of heartwarming, where he puts on the camp counselor uniform for "the kids" he claims, but then literally within the first twenty minutes of the episode, he's back in his old attire and running around bullying people and hypnotizing children. seems to me he reverted back to his bullying kids self. then he gave his life force to save a kid, and almost died in the process. which he says something like "i'm not letting another kid die" as a reference to astra. i liked this, but seeing john in a camp counselor uniform made me go "whaaaaat".

when ray ended up in hell and john went to go get him, he comes to a choice of saving astra or ray and immediately, without hesitation, he chose astra. this decision doesn't seem to affect ray much later on though, and i am honestly not sure if he remembers it even though it showed both his spirit and young astra's, though it could have easily been some sort of illusion or whatever. honestly, i think he'd do it again. and i liked that there was this little anticipation where everyone is like "oh, he wouldn't, right? he wouldn't leave ray here." yes he would. and he did. even if it was only temporary.

there are references to his lung cancer, but in hellblazer, the man not only smokes after he's cured of his lung cancer through absolute deceit and gets revenge on gabriel afterwards, but he smokes during it, if i recall correctly. nothing could get that man to give up a cigarette. hell, there was a point in hellblazer where he was literally only going to save the world because there was going to be a lack of cigarette shipments if he didn't ( then, you know, everyone showed up and that changed ). which is why i think, even though it'd be great if this idiot stopped smoking, it was weird to have him stop smoking as a result and to have fucking zari 2.0 ( hm. i still really do not like her. i do not think i will be persuaded to like her. ) get him on a juice cleanse. you're going to sit there and tell me he was attracted to this girl who is a social media influencer BUT HE WASN'T ATTRACTED TO THE FIRST ZARI? fake. on his part. i just didn't see their relationship. i didn't like it. but then again, i don't really agree with most john ships. regardless. this one i really did not like.

then the ending of season six, i think they just wanted a way to get him off the show. i know he lost his magic, but the addiction, the fact he went cold turkey, then got? what? taken over by his "evil" subconcious and went and betrayed the legends, even though he's supposed to love zari 2.0 soooo much? yeah, no. i mean, john does do what benefits him, but i don't think he would have so readily injected something into his veins from a guy he knew was not a good guy and would definitely do something to get him out of commission without some sort of backup plan to save himself and scam the other guy, because that's what he does. show me his reputation, because this isn't all it is, heartless betrayals after confessing his love to some random social media influencer. then he became a mushroom, then he died, then he came back, then he ran off and? didn't even go back to his own time? so i don't really know what happened to him or where he ran off to. i am quite honestly so fucking confused about his send off.

anyways, if you don't focus on characterization too much, it's an enjoyable show, and while it's fun, it's really fucking confusing and i'm still not sure i'm quite understanding the plot in it's entirely because honestly that show felt like i was smoking something without actually smoking it. if that makes any sense to anyone.

[adoresia]

Tell me more about your spidersona

I'm interested :3

YES BAE OFCC 😋😋

also ima use this post to say im sorry for being inactive i just took a quick break from my phone after shit went down irl but its all good now! 😝

Anyways MY SPIDERSONA :

Name : Astra

Age : 15

height : 5’6

race : Black carribean

ethnicity : Bajan / Hatian

Hometown : Greenwich, London

Nationality : British

Speaking languages : French, English.

Bit of backstory :

She lives in a tiny apartment In south east london, with her mum. Who she doesn’t even recognise anymore. Her father left her and her mother for another woman when she was 4 years old. Everything was fine before then though? no arguments, no divorce notices? no not getting along? it was just… normal. Until he packed up and left, and she just watched him with the two huge bags in his hands. Packed with everything he owned.

While her mother sobbed and begged for him to stay, astra did nothing except watch him walk away, treating her mother like a street beggar.

It beats her up to this day. The way she just observed one of the people she was meant to look up to walk out of her life just like that.

It wasn’t easy trying to adapt to life as a single mother, so the same way her husband walked away she was made to think astra did too. She just reminded her more and more of the person who ruined her life.

So she turned to drinking and taking drugs. And again astra just watched. She just watched yet another person walk out of her life and did nothing, though you couldn’t really blame her she was 4. But its still engraved in her mind like an old television stuck on replay, it haunted her.

Now her mother was unrecognisable, lost in the shadows of drugs and alcohol. Waiting day by day for her husband to miraculously come back, so that they could go back to the life they used to live.

But it never happened.

So Astra grew up on her own, and every night she’d go for a walk outside. And gazed interestingly at the stars. Since she believed that maybe, one day a shooting star would fly past her. And one day bring her dad back home.

Thus the name Astra.

Spider bite :

After a long history of looking at stars from afar she worked hard and made up enough money to buy herself a traditional telescope.

One day while she was looking at the stars a spider crawled down the telescope onto her hand and bit her, i might go into detail with this laterr

Interesting facts :

She enjoys stargazing of course, she believed her father was a shooting star. And maybe he would turn up again! (yeah he never did)

She plays sports (sometime) : Volleyball and badminton. But not competitively, just for funsies with her friends. Mostly in school during PE or acter school clubs. (friends dragged her into it but it was fun the first time so she just gave in)

She enjoys crochetinggg 😝 (never finishes her pieces.) There could be like 4 unfinished works under her bed and she just started a new one (me.) she picked up crocheting from her mother, and does it in her spare time.

She used to cook with her mom but now she just cooks by herself, doesn’t mind it though. The music blasting in her ears is all she needs😻 (until she accidentally cuts her finger off.)

Yeah this is what i had in my notes its not a lot but ima add onto itt 😋

[roseadleyn]

don't lie, you like her || roselyn, atlus, raymond, astra, theo.

'Your Highness.'

Roselyn merely acknowledged his presence with a nod and returned to her book.

'Your Highness.' Atlus called again, this time more insistently.

The said girl frowned, but did not look up.

'Your Highness!' Atlus finally relented, 'there is someone here for you!'

With a sigh of irritation, she snapped her book shut. 'This better be worth it. Who is it?'

'Someone called Gilbert.'

Roselyn looked exasperated. 'Seriously? Him, again?'

'Has he visited you before?'

'Visited...' she repeated, running a hand through her dark hair.

'I wish visiting was all he did,' was the only explanation she offered before holding her book up to her chest and leaving the spacious room with an almost vicious slam of the door.

—

Roselyn was laughing when she returned.

Somehow, the sight of it didn't make Atlus' heart flutter with delight. 'I gather your meeting went well, Your Highness?'

Roselyn clapped a hand to her mouth, slightly breathless, then, 'Why, with Gilbert? Heavens no, and thank my heart for it! I'd rather walk on hot coals than date him.'

Atlus almost choked. 'Date? Date who? Date why?'

Roselyn was silent now, but her gaze was curiously interested. 'Gilbert, of course. Oh, dear — do you think I should?'

Atlus fumbled with his words, slightly nervous, 'No! I mean-'

She smiled. This was the answer she wanted, 'Well, why not?'

'He... he doesn't seem like a good person.'

'He's not.' She agreed. 'But...'

She dropped her book and stalked closer, cornering him against the wall. His blush deepened, and so did her amusement. 'Tell me one thing Atlus. You're a very loyal aide, I'm sure you'll answer correctly.'

'I... yes, Your Highness.'

'If you don't want me to date Gilbert,' she murmured, running her hand along his jaw, 'would you rather me date you?'

—

'— and then she asked if I'd rather date her.'

Astra's lips twitched, but she managed to keep a straight face, 'and what did you say?'

'I just..'

'Let me guess — you blushed and stuttered for a while until she let you go.'

'... Yea, basically.'

Astra laughed. 'Y'know, I don't blame the girl.'

Atlus looked up to see Astra's face. She was clearly trying hard not to laugh. 'Hey, what do you mean?'

'Do you like her?'

'No!'

Astra burst into peals of laughter. 'Then why are you — oh goodness — dictating who she can't and cannot date?!'

'Well — I mean —'

Astra was breathless with laughter now, but she managed to gasp out, 'You do like that girl, dumbass.'

Atlus covers his face with his hands as Astra attempts, unsuccessfully, to control her laughter. Then, from the background, Raymond's voice echoes out,

'Okay, which one of you two idiots like my little sister?!'

The trio stare at each other before Theo calls out, 'Make it three!'

—

@crownxie i literally love these two sm!! this is based off the convo we had 🫶

tagging; @dxmoness, @mysticmeena, @sidra-29, @writerig, @parkykwho, @ithil-lucien, @izumi-astra-123, @palaceofghosts, @hmerus, @nxccolo, @chxrrylxdy, @yevenly, @lady-navier0357, and @that-one-pretty-bitch

[viric-dreams]

I don’t know what to ask because they’ll all hurt me… but for the sickos (also me): Break & Ghost for Roberts/Nite, Hunt for Ockham?

break: What would cause your OC to break down completely? What do they look like when that happens? Has anyone ever seen them at their lowest?

I haven't entire fleshed it out, but for Roberts it's the period where his entire life seems to be falling apart, his job is in danger, and he's now aware that "he's" out there spectacularly undermining his (and the person he most cares about's) life's work. This is the point where he seriously considers throwing himself into the Dawn Machine and accepting either immolation or a dawn zombie-like future if it would stop Nite and make him useful to the cause again. It's truly gotten bad if he's not able to keep up the calm facade around other people, and they're actually seeing how manic and jittery he is.

Nite hasn't yet come close to a complete breakdown, but the thing most likely to set it off would be when something of his own design backfires. Particularly, the end of his relationship comes to mind. He was truly furious about that, partially the rejection, and partially the fact that it was technically his own fault (but his plan should've worked and this shouldn't have happened!). A breakdown for him would involve a lot more anger, lashing out at anyone within range.

ghost: Who or what haunts your OC? What happened? How do they live with their ghosts?

Roberts is not haunted. Not at all. Anything questionable or unpleasant has been regulated to a deep drawer in his mind that stays firmly shut.

Nite tends to take a similar approach, but his ghosts are more present, often related to what kind of a person he must be, considering the sorts of things that are muscle memory, or unsettling knowledge he seems to have.

hunt: Who or what is your OC hunted by? A person, a feeling, a past mistake? Is your OC able to let their guard down, or are they constantly alert?

At the moment, Ockham is hunting Snockham. What the plan is upon finding him... heshethey hasn't gotten there yet. But there's probably some sort of game plan, improvised or otherwise. Ockham doesn't seem to realise that heshethey's The Most Interesting Parabolan at the moment to serpentine eyes and being very closely monitored. Maybe if Ockham weren't so tired from the most recent ordeals heshethey'd have picked up on it.

[rphelperblog]

Kingdom of the Wicked Book Quote rp meme- part one

“Love is the most powerful magic. Above all else, remember that. It will always guide you where you need to go.”

“love and hate are both rooted in passion- strange how that line becomes blurred over time.”

“Tell me you hate me, that I am your worst enemy. Better yet, tell me you don't want to kiss me.”

“acta non verba; actions, not words”

“A woman with a little power was terrifying to some.”

“Bravery might be the absence of fear in most cases, but it also seemed a little like acting foolishly for a good cause.”

“Life often deals you a hand you didn't choose. It's how you end up playing it to your advantage that counts.”

“The stars are out and they’re falling like feathers”

“I wanted to kiss him. Possibly break a bottle and stab him first. But then definitely kiss him.”

“As a witch, I really needed to stop thinking some creatures were mere myths and legends.”

“I believe I’m powerful, therefore I am.”

“There was something about him that came across as lethally angelic. But if he ever had a halo, it was broken now.”

“Magic was life and life was made by making love and feeling good and our bodies constantly tried to remind us to live.”

“Every tall tale was rooted in truth.”

“I will not appear weak for you to maintain strength.”

“A true leader delegates. Just as your're doing now. Never doubt your courage.”

“Life often deals you a hand you didn’t choose.”

“For the living embodiment of sin, you aren't very sinful.”

“I always knew you. And always will. Your soul calls to mine. It’s a feeling of coming home. Of peace. No magic can duplicate it.”

“Stories make everything possible.”

“Every tall tale was rooted in truth.”

“Fear made monsters of men.”

“Assumptions are the death of truth.”

“Why is it whenever a man throws a tantrum a woman is blamed for his poor behavior?”

“Astra inclinant, sed non obligant; The stars incline us, they do not bind us”

“Real life certainly wasn't anything close to a romance novel, but there was still a small part of the old me left that hoped for a happy ending”

“What if I'm the villain? One who's so vicious, so terrible, I was punished to forget?”

“A phoenix rises from the ashes for a reason. Your world must be destroyed for you to rise anew. And rise you shall. Just as they feared you would.”

“I do not wish to taint my body with the foulness of human food,"

"But desserts are acceptable.”

“Your pride didn't appear in that bone circle the night you spilled blood and summoned me. It was your wrath. Your fury.”

“Forging a bond made from love is as dangerous as those made through hate.”

“At times my simmering rage was the only indication I was alive.”

“Man had a funny way of blaming the devil for things he didn’t like.”

“It was strange that we were called evil when humans were the ones who enjoyed watching us burn.”

“His annoyance joined mine in unholy matrimony.”

“Why do villains always wear black?”

“Of course. There is nothing more dangerous than a woman who owns who she is and apologizes to no one.”

“Love and hate are both rooted in passion.”

“Find forgiveness and acceptance in your heart, or darkness will seep in and destroy you.”

“You are not his intended.You are mine.”

“I hoped the kingdom of the wicked was ready for a vengeful queen.”

“One day you might beg me to kiss you.”

“Names have power. Titles are a show of power.”

“Never forget: forging a bond made from love is as dangerous as those made though hate.”

“Live long enough to hate me for this”

“Young women died. Life resumed. Such was the way of the world, at least according to men.”

“He was death and rage and fire and anyone stupid enough to forget that would be consumed by his inferno.”

“In the end, the monster we feared didn’t come from Hell. He came from privilege.”

“Only you can decide how to move forward”

“Someone’s cocky.”

“Instead of being ruled by fear, I could become fearless.”

“I am your favorite sin.”

“The stars incline us; they do not bind us.“

“Your heart will conquer darkness. Trust in that.”

“You always have the power of choice, even when those choices seem limited. Never forget that.”

“Others would always be out there, trying to knock me down, to tell me who I was or who they thought I should be. People carved words into weapons often, but they only had power if I listened to them instead of trusting in myself.”

“One day you'll call me Death.For now, Wrath will do.”

A good book was its own brand of magic, one I could safely indulge in without fear of getting caught by those who hunted. I loved escaping from reality, especially during times of trouble. Stories made everything possible.”

“Fate may deal it's hand, try encouraging our path or intervene, but we are ultimately free to choose our own destiny. Never doubt that.”

“Perhaps we’ve finally found your Achilles’ heel, your majesty.”

“It’s a game of scopa, not a battle between life and death. Are you always this dramatic?”

“Pretend there's no curse. No magical betrothal. Or romantic urges created by our bond. Would you choose me? To reign beside you. To be your queen. Your friend. Your confidant. Your lover... If I am still yours, I would tell you that you are mine. That I am choosing you as my husband. There is no one I'd rather confront my demons with, no soul I'd travel through Hell with. And no one else I want standing beside me.”

“This was not the kind of prince written about in fairy tales. There was no golden crown sitting atop his dark head, or promises of safety waiting in his sculpted, tattooed arms. He was death and rage and fire and anyone stupid enough to forget that would be consumed by his inferno.”

“I don’t know how you’ve fooled humanity for so long, but it’s as Envy said. You are the most skilled liar of all. Samael.”

[inaturalist-propaganda]

Update, June 10th 2023:

Forum mod Astra_the_dragon, cis asskisser, has moved this post out of the LGBT thread and hidden it in the locked Moderation thread:

[ID: A screenshot from the iNAturalist forum, showing a post that was moved 17 hours ago, by jasonhernandez74. The post first quotes Tiwane, from a post in the thread LGBTQIA+ and iNaturalist. The quote reads: "So we made this topic specifically for members of the LGBTQIA+ community (and allies) to introduce themselves and discuss their experiences with queerness, iNat, and nature" jasonhernandez74 responds: "Well, depending on your point of view, what some consider “off-track,” others would consider to be discussing their experience of being queer on iNat. Criticism of iNat mods and staff does fall under that umbrella. I can say that during that big kerfluffle, I pulled back. I used to spend hours every night here on the Forums and on the Identify tab. I don’t foresee that coming back. There are things I could say about my reasons, but it has all been said, many times, by several people, and in the end, it made no difference." The post has five likes, and one reply which cannot be viewed. End ID.]

so yeah I'm officially adding "revoke Astra_the_dragon's moderation privileges" to the list of official demands. He along with the paid staff have done nothing but tone police and victim blame, and Astra himself seems to be obsessed with demanding we "love eachother" instead of...defending ourselves. He admits he was raised in a fundamentally Christian household and you can fucking tell that he's not put in any fucking effort to unpack half that fucking bigotry.

[astrairrita]

▻ ⌗🗯 OK! Let's talk!

▻ ⌗☕︎ First of all: maybe one day I'll write something here. Something truly meaningful in a way, something that isn't just a finished coloring.

▻ ⌗☕︎ Second: I don't promise anything. Maybe I write, maybe not. Let me make something very clear: writing is an outlet for me. Fun. A hobby. I don't want anyone to force me either, and I'm not going to force myself into anything either. I really hope you understand this.

▻ ⌗🔪 Okay, now let's talk about something that I think could be really important... I like to write yandere content. So, I think you can understand where I want to go, no? If you read any of my yandere content don't forget that I take no responsibility. Read at YOUR own risk. Warned you went. Again, I hope you understand. But even so, minors do not interact. Don't fill your mind with disturbing and sick things... I know there are better things for you to see ;) So for that... Respect? Can I call it that? Precaution? Well, it's not relevant. Returning to the main focus now. For this reason, I'm going to take a step back and control the amount and how heavy and unhealthy my content is. I will do my best to write at least worthy writing though!

▻ ⌗🔪 I get a lot of inspiration to write from people like Merakiui, twst-headcanonss, yandere-sins, 187-mg, shiny-jr, married-to-google-translater, megan-is-mia. (Escritoras boas demais se me permitem falar)

▻ ⌗🇧🇷 Well, English is not my first language. I speak Portuguese, Brazilian Portuguese. I'm a legitimate Brazilian and I don't want to hide it. But one day I was asked which song from my country I like the most and I didn't know at the time. "Is this relevant in any way?" Honestly, no. But I wanted to say that I really like "O Sol e a Lua - Pequeno Cidadão". The music is good, I recommend it. But, now about something really important about my nationality... Well, I already made it clear that I don't speak English. Here's an apology in advance if I say something wrong. I use google translate so... Anyway, blame google for translating wrong. (It's just a joke, calm down.)

❢ "— Agora era fatal que o faz-de-conta acabasse assim. Pra lá deste quintal era uma noite que não tem mais fim... / Now it was inevitable that the make-believe ended like this. Beyond this yard, it was a night that never ended... — She said, through tears. They weren't children anymore. Now she was fully aware that her friend was a monster. Innocence was ripped from his soul. She slowly discovered the cruelty of the world. — Pois você sumiu no mundo sem me avisar e agora eu era um louco a pergunta: o que é que a vida vai fazer de mim? / Because you disappeared into the world without telling me and now I'm going crazy asking: what is life going to do to me?"

(Sorry, I just love this song lol I put the translation together to have an idea of what she said)

✩ Well, you can call me Astra. "Irrita" in Portuguese means someone who annoys you. Piss someone off. Growing up, I was known to be annoying, so I decided to stick with that "nickname" (nickname between multiple quotes). The first idea was to call me "Astraqueteirrita" (The translation would be like this: the Astra that irritates you), but I realized that it was too big. So just Astrairrita. Just call me Astra, that's better (But if you want to call me grumpy or Irrita that's fine :D I don't really mind)

✐I think that's all for now. To the next! Soon I will make my rules and etc. Goodbye and be well! Take care and drink water (I just love the drink water meme, sorry lol)

[liltaz-asatreat]

5, 6, 7, and 10 for Meadow? :D

OC question list here!! <- send some in? :D

So this got really long because I never know when to shut up, so I'm putting this under a readmore lol

(Also, I explained some stuff in detail that I've already told you for the benefit of anyone else who might read this lol)

5. What are their regrets?

There's a lot of things Meadow regrets on a daily basis lol But there are quite a few long lasting big ones. Like the obvious enacting the Relic plan, not listening to Lucretia, and not being able to save Phandalin. Then there's two things he regrets from childhood: not running away from home sooner and simultaneously leaving his then six year old cousin whom he was pretty close to. He also regrets spending so much time fighting with himself during the decade post voidfishing and the fact that he was only able to get very little done and caused himself a lot more stress and heartache than was strictly necessary. And the fact that he can't just turn off his brain and go to sleep to escape his thoughts like other people can unless one of his bodies dies. And there's two things that happen during the fic that he comes to regret doing and/or not doing, but those are spoilers >:)

And then the two really big ones is the defining backstory moment of coming across the Word Weaver's Amulet (the Grand Relic they made) and giving it to Astra, their then best friend who I still haven't decided if they're just best friends or if there were romantic feelings involved. Every time I think I've decided on one, I end up changing my mind again, but regardless, they were really close. And Astra said she thought it was beautiful and really wanted it, and when they both came across it, they had been going on a walk to try and cheer Astra up and get her to clear her head because she was having a really bad day, so Meadow, famously unable to say no to anything even though they had the gut feeling that something bad was going to happen, gave it to her. The fallout of how she used the Relic and what exactly transpired is a spoiler, but she definitely dies which is how Meadow ended up with it again, and they've regretted everything ever since.

The second big one is, because during the Stolen Century, they were able to save Meadow's body from the Plane of Logic from the Hunger, and both of his bodies were on the ship for the rest of the century and until Lucretia dropped his Logic Body off in the Faerun's reality's Plane of Logic, Meadow was always up in one body or the other, by nature of that's just how he works, so he was awake when Lup was about to leave the Starblaster for the final time before she disappeared. He saw her before she left, and they had a short conversation where Meadow knew something was wrong, and he thought he helped her to feel better, which in all fairness, he did a little, but Lup still wanted to have some alone time and clear her head down on the planet and then everything that happened afterward happened. So Meadow regrets not stopping her from leaving or at least not going down to the surface with her.

And tbh, because of Meadow being awake 24/7, they had taken it upon themself/was designated to be the person on watch at night throughout the century after both of their bodies were on the ship because all of the others needed sleep and didn't have a fancy shmancy second body to be awake in after going to bed. So because they were up and because they had talked to Lup before she left, Taako mostly, but Barry too to an extent, kind of blamed them for her disappearance. Barry would never say it out loud, but I feel like Taako might have snapped at them once about it, but like, Meadow knew. At that point, they had known them for long enough that they could tell for sure it wasn't just their brain being mean and jumping to conclusions, they were acting a little hostile toward them toward the end there.

6. What are their biggest fears?

Everything lol They're a big ball of anxiety and stress-

No. Well, they are a big ball of anxiety and stress and are a very fearful person, but they aren't afraid of everything.

They are, ironically, very afraid of heights lol The only reason they agreed to go on the Starblaster mission was because they couldn't pass up the opportunity to go to space and explore the space between the planes and do all of that cool stuff. As soon as the opportunity came up, that was basically all they wanted to do and the thing they wanted to get most out of life because they love the stars and space and exploring and everything about it! And how they figured they could get around the height issue was that they could just stay away from the railing and stay toward the center of the ship, and maybe if there wasn't a ground or a metric in which to gauge how high up he'd be, he would be fine.

I think during the century he learned how to push past it mostly out of necessity, but by the time they made it to Faerun, and Material Meadow lost his memories, his issue with heights hit him full force again tenfold, and he has to fight to remain calm while traveling in the cannonball spheres and looking down from the moon base and all that lol

Then, of course, he has a normally paralyzing fear of failure that he has to push through to get literally anything done in the story and honestly, during the century.

And then they never had a good working memory before the voidfishing, so they already hated the idea of losing any more memories. The voidfishing exasperated that into a full blown near phobia of losing memories, especially really important ones.

And then there's the fear of losing everyone and everything permanently and the fear that everyone is going to leave him, especially for reasons they refuse to tell him, so he wouldn't understand why they decided to leave him in the first place.

And then there's the double related fears: Falling asleep while they're in danger because someone decided to wake them up on the other side, especially if they refuse to let them go back to sleep, and someone finding out about them having a double and attacking him or leaving him or ostracizing him because they either don't believe him, refuse to take it seriously, or outright hate him for it

7. How do they cope with stress?

LOL

List making! Mental breakdowns! But mostly they write. Poetry for the most part is their form of journaling, but sometimes they just write out their thoughts too. If they have an idea for a short story, they'll work on that too as usually a more maintenance kind of thing and not something they'd do in the moment of feeling very overwhelmed, and they never really have the time to try and write a whole novel or something. At least, for the most part they didn't. There was that short period of time during the decade where they were at the writing guild Lucretia sent them to in the Material Plane, the Ink Spill Guild, where they had the time to work on a novel because they were ignoring the instructions they were leaving for themself that they made when they actually remembered everything. And they might have been working on a novel, idk. Sounds fun and very much something I would do lol But after that, Meadow spent most of their time adventuring, and then when they got up to the moon base, trying to figure out where the second voidfish was and what the plan was going to be then now that they found Lucretia.

As for when they're in the Plane of Logic though, they didn't give themself as much time to write because they were struggling so hard to get their spaceship built and off the ground, both in the physical aspect of actually researching it and doing it and also fighting the paralysis they usually get when they get super stressed and scared/anxious about something. And the whole possibly being the only one of their family who remembers anything besides Lucretia, but only when they're on a plane where they can't really do much about it, and that means they might be the only person with a chance of stopping Lucretia from destroying the Material Plane and putting their family back together thing is kind of really stressful lol

To compensate for that, Meadow throws himself full force into building the spaceship when he's particularly stressed because it's something to do with his hands and is something that is supposed to get him closer to reaching his goal. Sometimes if they're stuck on how to do something to actually continue building onto the ship but can't focus on reading and researching or even thinking really hard, they take apart and put back together some other component that doesn't really need fixing.

He also sometimes lets Sparrow and their friends forcibly drag him away to hang out with them, and that makes him feel better and less alone. Also eventually talking to Barry helps even if when he does it, he doesn't remember their shared history, and Barry can't tell him anything about it yet, and also hanging out with Merle, Magnus, and Taako.

Back on the Starblaster, Taako and Lup also brought them into learning how to bake :>

And then when things are really shitty, sometimes they dissociate and just check out completely. On top of that, sometimes it'll happen as they are in an immediate stressful situation, especially if they're trying to talk to someone, much to their extreme annoyance because it's really hard to fight it off and come back to reality. They very rarely ever succeed at it.

10. Who is someone they miss?

Astra and Lup definitely, and Lucretia and Davenport and all of them. Even when he joins the Bureau and sees most of them again, he misses how their relationships with each other used to be and the fact that none of them, including him while he's actually physically there with them remember except for Barry and Lucretia. It's this weird feeling of simultaneously being super happy to see them while also still feeling very far away and disconnected when he's awake in the Plane of Logic because he's no longer there and he remembers Davenport being able to talk and Lucretia not holding them all at arm's length and lying to them all the time and being able to hug Barry and Lup being there and the other boys sharing almost everything and all of them being a family. He's able to enjoy being in their presence more, for the most part, while he's there and with them because he doesn't remember the history, but that just makes him miss them more when he wakes up and does remember.

They also really miss Fisher, and while they hang out with it and Johann sometimes, it's still not the same. Both because of the memory thing and also because, while it's Lucretia's fault for erasing everyone's memories, Fisher still had the power to do that, and it didn't broadcast it out after realizing no one could remember and that everyone was gone. So there's also a certain level of wariness and fear I think

And then they do miss their parents to an extent. I mean, they're their parents. And there were good times with them while they were growing up. And they also really miss their cousin that they were close to.

Also, even though Meadow is a self insert and I have siblings, I decided against giving Meadow siblings because, well, not only does Meadow run away from home and leave everyone behind when he's 14, but like, the Hunger and the end of the world happened, and it felt really gross and wrong to be like, yeah! Meadow is me and also all of his siblings died tragically during the apocalypse. I just can't do that. But! I needed a child relative substitute that Meadow would have been close to because an event that happens about them is the catalyst of Meadow finally deciding to run away. I felt like having them be a cousin was enough degree of separation for me to be more comfortable with especially since the event is probably only going to be referenced in a passing one sentence comment, if that, during the Chalice scene. So that's why the cousin exists

[kissmeau]

☕ gimme some Autumn and Astra cute soft moments (even if cute doesn't really exist gyfdgs)

@distopea | 𝓒𝓱𝓸𝓬𝓸𝓵𝓪𝓽𝓮 — send ☕ for our muses to enjoy a cup of hot chocolate before the fireplace while it snows outside.

Autumn had arrived from Russia earlier that morning. It was a relief to be back after such a cold trip. Autumn didn't refer only to the awful weather known as General Frost, with its muddy soil and black ice, but to the burial of Roman's remains next to his wife and daughter. Finally, after so long, his savior and mentor could rest in peace.

Every effort had been worthy, but Autumn was drained physically and emotionally. He had never craved so much warmth. It was a relief to fall into the blonde's arms as soon as he exited the airport, but as much as both wanted to be devoured by that flame that births between them, a snowstorm was coming. It was supposed to be bad. We need to hurry, and if he said it, and if he stopped Autumn from undressing him in the car after two weeks away, then he meant it.

Once at home, they fucked. They fucked as soon as the door behind them closed; they fucked in the tub. Autumn sucked him in the bedroom. Somehow, they ended up in the living room, bodies completely tangled in front of the fireplace, as if the heat from minutes ago wasn't enough to keep them warm. Autumn blamed it on the snowstorm when he was called needy.

"Shut up, Astra. Look at the glass door! What do you see? Exactly! Not a single thing. It's all white, and it is cold—Fuck off. I don't need you to stay warm."

Autumn freed himself. It wasn't an arduous task. They knew each other too well. Astra allowed him to go and try to prove a point utterly opposite to Autumn's wants. Autumn did need him to stay warm and cozy, but he wouldn't say it out loud. It's as it always goes. They both adored it: their secret, not-so-secret game.

And Autumn was glad for its existence. He could never tell Astra that he had missed his touch, that he had starved for his embrace, that the only thing that stopped his tears back in Russia was the thought of him —exclusively and undoubtedly him— brushing them away. He delayed his flight two more days because if he had seen Astra earlier, he would have fallen into pieces, all his body would have turned to mush. There wouldn't have been a bigger mess in this world, and Astra would have looked at that mess with such loving eyes that Autumn would have kept crying for eternity.

Autumn came back, two mugs in hands with hot chocolate. One for Astra and one for himself; they had different tastes regarding sweetness. Astra circled Autumn's waist to pull him closer again, but he pushed him away before he could get comfortable. Astra's drink spilled.

"Oops, did I give you the wrong one?" Autumn asked, cackling, holding his tummy with his free hand. He didn't care about the mess on the floor, the slight burning sensation of the chocolate on his hand. He wasn't even worried about Astra's deadly stare. "I told you, we are too messy for carpets. It's a good thing we didn't get them." Autumn licked the chocolate in his hand and crawled to Astra's lap. "I'm sorry." He was not. He laughed again, swapping their drinks.

"Rest assured, you're cleaning this mess."

"Yes, yes, professor. I will." Autumn rolled his eyes and gently cupped Astra's face to give the sweetest kiss of them all on the tip of his nose. "Sweet revenge." And he licked his lips, bottom to top, before hiding in the crook of Astra's neck. Autumn's breathing and body temperature altered.

Heater systems, coats, blankets, fires, and warm beverages exist, but only Astra can get rid of that crisp icing sensation on his blood and bones. How could Autumn possibly admit that? Ever?