#ativan

[crossing-mafia]

Fun stupid story 😂

Last night I got some meds to help me calm down for something in the future. Not talking about that yet. ANYWAYYYSS I did a test run of them. When I woke up this morning mom was asking if I remembered anything? I thought Oh shit I did something bad. She asked if I had read our texts. I didn't. So I went into my room and looked at the messages and I just....um....🥴😳🫣

[plumgarten]

I need a whole bowl full

[odile-odile]

Christmas survival kit xxx

[arthropooda]

After Ativan you're not supposed to have caffeine for two days, I immediately forgot and had tea yesterday. I guess it probably doesn't matter but I try to follow instructions especially when I've been in the dang hospital so often

[quote4me]

[drberkes]

f*ck

Ok hi so I (12/2/22) am going to force myself to write now because the amount of anxiety is unacceptable and I have tentatively identified not enough writing as a possible source. So here we go: if you’re expecting a nice eggplant dish, please manage your expectations. I am going to do my best. I may just hand you a f*cken eggplant and tell you, “Best of luck, I’ve done all I can.”

Ok so how did I get here? I tried writing about it a bit for my Technology Awareness paper I wrote for Natalie, but that paper was just for fun and I’m not proud of it (there were swear words in it). Hmm…let me tell you about Anacortes, like I told one of my nurses when I was in the hospital for ten days back in May. My Aunt Barb and a friend she had liked for a long time decided to go on a road trip together. My Aunt was agreeable with everything her friend wanted - no audiobook, weird climate control requests, fancy bathroom requests, everything - even agreeing to go to Anacortes against her own judgment. She wanted to go to Port Townsend where they would have had no shortage of restaurants by the water to enjoy. They got to Anacortes and discovered that unless there is a festival, Anacortes is a sleepy little port town with not much going on. My Aunt spent her time there in the quilt shop, making the best of it, while her friend went off to get a tshirt. So they wound up in Anacortes with nothing to do and only a t-shirt to show for it. This journal entry, written in December (December!) is the same t-shirt from Anacortes. And the agreeableness I’ve described here is just the tip of the iceberg for her trip. Boy, let me f*cken tell you… …like I told everyone at the ketamine clinic. I was supposed to be tripping balls during my extremely expensive infusion and getting an abundance of insights from my subconscious but I spent the last half of it babbling to my doctor about everything that I haven’t written about yet - all the people I tried to help and how it almost killed me. I’m seeing four paragraphs now so I’ll take that as a sign that I am probably going to survive. BUT *********@#$%^, WTF. People people people are just people, people, people (Brown). And chronic stress prevents our writing/reading/learning brains from getting online. Less writing, more stress. It’s enough to make you crazy if you let it. Anyway, I have no idea where to begin inspiring you with the extremely horrific dumpster fire that is my mental health and how I got here. So I’ll start with you. If you’re reading this, you are probably a person. What does it mean to be a person? I wish I could bust out one of my papers and tell you what I think, but hellfire in the form of a dozen pieces of garbage masquerading as people rained down on my f*cken house. I’ve had windows broken, death threats, graffiti across the street (“f*ck you” written on the curb). All because when people get pushed in the wrong direction, they make bad decisions. They decide they want to go to Anacortes. For the record, I want to go to Port Townsend. But I’ve already been there. Thanks Aunt Barb! 🙂 What was Port Townsend supposed to look like for me? Let’s circle back to the beginning of the pandemic. Kameron was out. So I’ve just spent a couple years at a community college and got sent home like Isaac Newton. What am I gonna do? Study Calculus? Write 100 papers? No, I’m gonna try to help Kameron. And Clay and Cameron and his girlfriend Missy and Brynn and Robert all at the same time. This where we’ll lose some definition...there were so many encounters there where I tried using my AS to push as hard as I could in the right direction. The outcomes were mixed: Kameron went back to prison, Clay moved to NY with Jeff, Cameron and Missy had to move also, and I worry about Brynn. Robert is doing better and has a job now. Why did this f*cken happen? Because they needed more help than I could give them. Lesson learned: you have to identify if someone is doing well enough for you to help them otherwise they will just pull you down too. It is not their fault. I suppose you get to be a certain age and you’ll get weird looks if you still act like a child, but I digress. These folks are good people who wound up in bad situations because of forces beyond their control. That reminds me of what my Uber driver told me when I came back from Portland right before (AM)^2 started: “...they’ll eat you alive.” But if someone is heading down a path where they’re gonna end up in a bad position when they’re older and I can do something about it, how can I choose not to act? How can I sit there and protect myself when there is work to be done? Now we’re getting into Tara Brabazon.  Anyway, this all sort of came to a head when I lost my job, checked myself into the hospital, got out and promptly had a tiny, tiny relapse which actually improved my PHQ-9 score considerably. But ah, now Tara Brabazon is reading this I’ll just head off to watch some of her videos. I feel better already having written something. Yay. Why did I lose my job? Because if I try to show up I’ll get probably get arrested. Why did this happen? ...and reason 546 is because I wasn’t prepared. I didn’t take care of myself well enough. And I wasn’t careful enough. I built a gun that shoots live piranhas and aimed at my fucken self.

[spooniestrongart]

[Text ID: "god bless Ativan"]

[thewomanlybrawler]

back & more hurt than ever

[witty-fools]

so i'm not just a sad story...

[plumgarten]

When the benzos are actually working

[todesengel44]

[aldamiriel-necrococo]

Can’t stop thinking about the post on a drug subreddit like “freaking out, my mother just accidentally took one of my ativans but she says she feels fine?” And the top comment was like “yeah dude that’s what benzos do”

[unhingedkorean]

[mcatmemoranda]

How do you know whether to do ativan or phenobarbital for EtOH withdrawal?

Phenobarbital IV can cause arrythmias; it's not used in pts who are acutely intoxicated or in those who have underlying cardiac conditions. If a pt is high risk for withdrawal seizures or has had witnessed seizures from EtOH withdrawal, then you should use phenobarbital. Pts requiring ativan more than q2 hours should be on phenobarbital.

[suicideandcheese]

Easy Candy

I'm walking to work, calling in 3D out of 7. Moons Just aliven me. Snow on my boots, ice in my beard, Tough luck in my gait, you wanna go? I wanna know How hard you gotta throw. Down my heavens In a mess of unlock. This door for them all. The fuck I breathe depths just to call it a day at 8:01. My Notice is anxiety attacked and some ungodly Gargantuan weight of slavery we keep to the hush. Oh god you know, you devil you smoke it up. Air is a breath away and I'm too tired to suck your Earthly give a damn. Lost in my shadow, navigating Somehow home. You like myself style but hate my Ethic. I work too. Hard most days, harder the others. Then I'm gone, ghosting anxious, ghastly to anxiolytic. Pills eat you more than you can swallow. Fuck it's blue Or pink, or whatever. Makes the script go doom; do me Through another day, I mean night, I mean right, white Little times 30 or 40. One at a time now, lest we creep Ourselves alive. I went live, I mean I'm alive, I was alive.

[alxroxinc]

Opioid Crisis SOLVED