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demidevildonnie · 9 months

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were not gods

#my art #trigun #trigun maximum #trigun 98 #trigun stampede #vash the stampede #nicholas d. wolfwood #vashwood #ive been haunted by the idea for months that #vash willingly bears humanity's sins #even stuff that isnt his fault #his body is littered with scars to show how humans treat him #wolfwood takes vials to heal his body #he is mortal yet he rids of the evidence of whats been done to his body #but he still bears a lot of pain and responsibility on his own as well #wolfwood's feelings towards why vash does this to himself #vash's feelings towards wolfwood trying to take on this role of being a devil #aughh i could go on #also vash has red bursting from his chest to represent blood and death #the literal death he has seen but also metaphorical bleeding heart #because red has positive connotations such as love and determination #but its painful for him

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relaxxattack · 3 months

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i really sincerely hope there’s a cool homestuck event this 4/13 because i still haven’t really gotten over my sadness from not being able to attend the cafe one last year

#homestuck #i was supposed to go and was planning to go and then shit Happened #and it was really depressing since the cafe was a One Time Only Thing #and like. a really fun big celebration of fandom history #and a LOT of cool people were there and. Aughh #man i wish i could have gone.#got some of the merch though luckily <\3 #op

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skrunksthatwunk · 6 months

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landing

#i'd recommend zooming in bc the changes between panels are pretty subtle. they'll be easier to see on the cropped versions but i wanted to #include the whole thing too because i think it looks nice like that :)#opening up to yukina as the final hopeful yet unresolved part of hiei's arc of learning to trust and love and be loved by others is like.#aughh. fascinating choice anyway here's a take on how it'd go. from me. a sap #smth smth hiei letting his vulnerability show via the thing that unites them (bloodline via the hiruseki stone) which is inherently tied #to emotion and letting his feelings about her and his past show to someone. grahh #yyh #yu yu hakusho #yukina #hiei #skrunkart #also due to the title and the organization of this comic one could call this a landing strip #anyway um. posting more yyh but this time it's not funny at all oops. glad y'all liked the other one though jksdjfkjs #anyway yukina's important you should talk about her more #would also like to point out how in the final panel hiei doesn't actually touch her with his other arm. it's just resting on his hand #enclosing her but still kinda distant. he's still got some healing to do #edit argh i uploaded a slightly wrong version. fixed now. it just didn't have yukina's crying onomotopoeia #but i wanted them back in bc sound is so important to this one #WAIT PANELS SWAPPED. FIXED FR NOW #ANYWAY HIEI MY BELOVED MY EVERYTHING. LOVE THAT LITTLE GUY #also shoutout to devoted sibling characters. they really get it

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fumifooms · 1 day

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Honestly I wonder if anyone’s ever read Chilchuck’s “I cheated on her” admission as an implicit reference to prioritizing alcohol over his marriage and feeling guilty abt it.

Ohh… "I cheated on her" as a half-truth because something ended up taking priority over their marriage, because emotionally he was elsewhere… "I cheated on her" because after having all the time in the world to think about it now that he’s alone he realizes that that might have been how she felt, and that’s how it felt like to him too.

Love that. I def think he’s ironically someone who deflects guilt a lot, in a similar way that he compulsively goes "You’re wrong! I don’t care about you guys at all! I’m an asshole!" he flees emotions by making the problem something else that’s fake, a burden easier to bear, he’s so used to being seen for what he’s not after all. I went into it a bit in one of my fics and in a couple meta posts, but when it comes to his wife he was very much like an ostrich with his head in the sand, seeing her fall into a bad mood on the outing before she left him but dismissing it as something "sudden" that’s not worth thinking deeper about. Overdrinking is a problem for future Chil. I think he did a lot of "You want me to drink less and you’re afraid for my health? Get over it lol" and "I should be less strict with the girls and raise my voice less? My father was a strict drunk and look at me, I turned out functional and great! The girls are literally fine and love me" and "Oh? My drinking is affecting our family? No it’s not smh smh get off my back"< Drunk a significant portion of the time he spends at home since he’s off-work and somewhere he can relax. Type of guy to always dismiss any issues that might exists because he prefers ignoring them as if they’ll go away. All his problem solving energy is spent during work and the issue is with his family he already likes things as they are, they’re his comfort zone and change is scary, he doesn’t want the change, even if it’d be better. He doesn’t want to change, his unhealthy habits are guilty pleasures he wishes people didn’t try to make him feel guilty for

BUT POINT IS he struggles with guilt and like. Letting it be a feeling that he gets sometimes, so it’s all bottled up and festers and gets twisted into frustration or such like how his worry usually does. I like this take, wether it’s something he’s already thought a lot about or it’s something he’s repressed that came suddenly pouring out of him like blood out of a wound, now that he’s putting it into words with someone for maybe the first time.

#Dungeon meshi #chilchuck tims #meta #ask #Spoilers #dungeon meshi manga spoilers #Bicorn episode early season 2 guys let’s GOOOOOOO #I do think he feels sleazy. Like even as he enjoys pretty women as eyecandy he feels pangs of guilt and sadness and longing for his ex wife #The “SHUT UP DON’T bring her up now!!” during succubus is smth I interpret in that way.#Either to not ruin the moment or bc of raging guilt that his succubus isn’t her gdbd. But also can u blame a guy the mere memory #of her brings up a lot of bitterness and emotional turmoil and aughh he feels like he’s failed his life and he’s a fuck up and aughh #fumi rambles #He’s someone who just wants to feel good dammit. He’s so stressed he just wants to relax. He just wants to feel like his family isn’t flawe #He doesn’t have the energy to put into fixing it. He doesn’t know if he could handle it. And ofc all of this is happening on a subconscious #level. Bc emotional repression is his middle name #He needs to work to provide for his family but for their relationships and emotional needs he needs to work less.#There’s no winning. There never is for half-foots in this world #Union man trying to balance career and family and failing </3 #Chilchuck’s family #Chilchuck’s wife #ok i need to shut up on this i could go forever

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icewindandboringhorror · 1 month

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boy in silly sitting positions compilation

#cats #I especially like the last one where he just has one single paw poking out of that box for some reason lol #I still have costumes to post and like a billion other things.... grr... constantly failing at staying active on social media aughh #I think because currently my Main Focus is on trying to get my game done and stuff.. which basically just means sitting and writing all day #so there's not much to post about. Though I know the Good At Social Media thing to do would be to post about the #writing and share progress and talk about the game and characters or whatever to try to build interest or something but that is SOOO weird #to me.. I could maybe get it if it was like a tiny tiny discord groupchat of playtesters with like 5 people in #it.. But something about talking openly about things before they happen is weird to me?? Like presumptuous feeling or something #''oooo guess whats gonna happen LATER!!!'' like.. how do you know.. what if it doesnt. what if you dont finish it. what if its not the way #you think it's going to be. what if something changes. etc. Like I literally avoid movie trailers and game trailers for the same reason ghj #Even if it's not ME doing it it just feels... weird.. Maybe it has to do with my OCD and how I just don't like talking about ''future''#things in Certain Terms. Like if I was going to say ''Oh yeah sure. come over to my house in a few months''. I would have to follow it up #with like ''HOPEFULLY you can come over to my house in a few months'' or 'They'll come over in a few months MOST LIKELY''. Because just #stating that something will happen matter of factly takes for granted like.. what if somehting horrible happens and I DONT have a house #in a few months? or what if something bad happens to me. or to the person coming over? I can't ever DEFINITELY say with 100% certainty #that one could ACTUALLY come to my house in a few months. anything could change. So I have to allot for that in my phrasing. hbjjkn #There are a lot of situations where you're expected to just Assume Things but for some reason that bothers me. My brain literally does not #even Assume the most basic things.. like how do *I* know that just because it's someones birthday that they want to be wished a happy #birthday? what if they dont? everyone is different and has different preferences. I should check with them first. or wait until they public #ly announce that theyre accepting birthday wishes. I have to allot for all 5034859069 rare possibilities at any given time and never take #anything for certain. etc. ghjbjhbh.... ANYWAY.. I have been feeling a bit sick lately as usual.. but still slowly making progress on some #things. Moslty I need to edit costume photos. make sculptures. and work on the game. Going back reading some of the old writing from like #2018 and suprisingly I don't have to change that much of it? In fact I like it mostly. so that's good. I would be very interested if I were #playing the game myself. Though that doesnt mean much since my tastes are so niche lol..#Still really want to clear some of my million tumblr drafts as well... alas and aughh and ooughh and so on and so forth. Between all of my #evil appointments other such things...why cant I have one billion dollar to retire into relaxed hermit artist life of no stressors.. bleas

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rapidhighway · 4 days

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i have nothing but free time rn but i will sooner just collapse into some kind of trembling sobbing mess before i start doing my assignments unfortunately

#girl what is wrong with meeee #and im so tired today too like i went to bed at like 3pm just cause i could sit upright auughh #like im feeling so much stress it should do the thing and make me do something but unfortunately im just shaking and thats it 😔#ajajajjj #doesnt help that someones is in the workshop already either like wed have to share space #and we both take up a huge amount of space with our works #idk if i shouldnt just go to sleep rn and just do everything at night or something aughh #if i can get myself to do it then -_-#i have to do it today and tomorrow i HAVE to do it #:(

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bonefall · 9 months

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inch resting... a heather destroyed tunneling and a heather brought it back...

Man like... in Clanmew, I've made it so they have two different names. Common-heather-star, and Bell-heather-star.

If I was in charge of this ship and Better Bones wasn't a rewrite/au to rework canon, I would have given them the same suffix in Clanmew, and then conflict-rename Heathertail on purpose into Bellstar

As if she got a new name on becoming a leader, breaking out of Heatherstar's legacy, and became the softer, pollinator-friendly heather. Surrounded by friends and lovers, bringing back that which was once destroyed.

#Not that I don't love Hare #But I think it could have been very cool for Harespring to say outright to One; 'I am a deputy. I'm good counsel.'#'But sir if you're planning to do what i think you're going to do... then you need to make sure Heather succceeds you.'#Like aughh 'Don't do to me what was done to you sir.'#'She's the reason all these cats were saved sir. I followed her orders.'#Better bones au #I hate how the Erins are setting up Crow. I love him but he's a shit leader and I hate how mediocre fan favorite men get rewarded for -#-bare minimum ass behavior.#Leadership isn't something you're entitled to #Been thinkinf about the Hareheatherbreeze polycule lately... I need to give them official designs #Because I know what One is gonna look like in this au already #Bone babble

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jahiera · 10 months

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I dont have much but I do have astarion fits for the day

#raiding the androgynous gothic mens fashion searches on pinterest and going ough aughh ouuugh picturing that lad in different little outfits #this isn't curated or edited nicely either but I shan't feel bad for it #wish I could draw... I want to put him in different clothing so badly.#pers ⚔️

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mint-chocolate-rooibos · 10 days

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how my mom feels after showing literally every single person she knows a video of me as a kid for everyone to make fun of me for

#she even showed my dad (THEY ARE DIVORCED)#aughh i know its probably not that deep but it makes me upset #like yea sure they could be just teasing me but i dont like it because anything i say they just quote what little me said #this happens literally so often #my whole entire family accuses me of being a cheater because i cheated on a game like once when i was literally like 7 #ive even gone measures to tell people “hey i can see your cards hide them” and everyone is like “you cheater!!!! always trying to cheat!!!”#i just fucking told you to avoid an unfair advantage #my family does not let anything go ever if its about me #augh #sorry to like kind of vent #mint rambles

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moenmomentsthemoe-en · 5 months

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ooooo ahhhhh oooooooooggg (big vent in tags

#vent #rips hair out rips hair out rips hair out #rambling about finances and jobs ueueueee ->#i want to have a life where a job doesn't take my entire life but god it feels like its just a reality that i need to it suck up #i dont!! want !! to suck it up!!! i dont want work life to be the only thing i should have in my life !!!#maybe i should start selling on etsy?? i dont know if i have an audience to sell to aughh #i want to believe that if i try hard enough i can find a livelihood where i have space for my lows [that im still working on but GOD it #takes so so long to even dent it and. fuck]#maybe ill open an etsy shop??#i kinda wish i could like. talk about this with someone? like my plans? without getting the suggestion to push beyond my limits #ive tried and did push beyond my limits before and it didnt end well .. i know that its important to step outside of our comfort zone #but holy cow i genuinely cannot tell where is my comfort zone and where is Burnout until. well until ive burnt out completely #i dont know the line between challenging myself healthily vs sprinting without break til i drop #scratches head #i think. i need um. support more than criticism? which sounds entitled of me. i think. i cant tell #concrit is amazing and without criticism how am i going to Be Better - but most of the concrit i receive half the time are things #that i already know and am *struggling* to fulfill which kinda just ends up. pushing my anxiety to a breakdown? mmghg #i. i want to . work healthily. i know that i cant work in a contractual job (retail - customer service - corporate etc) because i genuinely #CANNOT risk having a depressive low thats too prolonged or an anxiety spike that messes up my workflow to the point it disrupts an *entire*#working environment with other people that are just trying to do their jobs and also risk breaking one of the contracts' terms. its just no #safe to do it (ive had a contractual job and nearly. fucked up badly cause of my mental illness. im not risking it again). but DANG does it #feel like im just making excuses to not get a job #i. i have an idea for an etsy shop since freelancing would be the safest option. i just don't know if im good enough at my skills to.#actually sell to customers you know #ooughgh i wish i could run by my ideas to someone without being so so scared of. appearing as inadequate or illprepared when im doing my #best? but also its a Job and im supposed to make sure theres little to no mistakes and have a product that's of the best quality i can make #AUHGHG #i dont know how to work healthily and consistently and it scares me.#i dont know how to take care of myself and i dont know how to work. which is like. the two most important things i need to live sustainably #probably seems unproductive to me to like. talk about this on a tumblr post if anything but by the gods i need to process all this

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gotyouanyway · 3 months

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never wanted narvin more than i do right now. get out there and interfere boy!!!

#intervene!!!!#p #gallifrey lb #and romana ‘i don’t think gallifrey could go on without him’ 1. AUGHH 2. she’s right.

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robinsnest2111 · 3 months

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it sucks so bad that so many of us have to go through tough shit on our own, even if it's just another day on this earth, tough shit is tough shit, ANYWAY what I wanted to say: wouldn't it be so great if I could turn into a little pocket sized companion and travel along with anyone who's struggling through tough shit to keep them company and comfort them throughout the day? so they're not so alone? because MAN do I wish that were possible

#very fantastical and not possible at all but i have wished for exactly that so many times ngl #things would be less shit if i had a companion buddy with me in my pocket who could comfort and encourage me aughh #and HELL i really wanna do that for others #like i wanna give COMFORT and STRENGTH and LOVE #like let's hold hand and cuddle so falling asleep isn't so daunting a task let's go through daily life together #so the mundane and tedious things don't wear us down too much and the evil brain fuckery things don't drag us into hell too far #biting my pillow because i cannot do that aughhhhhhh

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watch-out-it-bites · 3 months

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The Reason You Might Be Feeling Awful And Experiencing Issues Standing+Walking Around Is Because 1. YOU ARE SICK and 2. YOU ATE A MUFFIN AND A PIZZA YESTERDAY. And a slice of bread.

#i really need to eat better aughh #sigh. i want spam...#i reaaally dont wanna eat anything because itll take time to make things but i dont wanna eat snacks #if anything i'll snaggle some crackers because atleast its not muffins #augh....#i could also bring some gum with me!#i'll go do that teehee

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angel-archivist · 2 years

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God the horror genre. Is so many things.

#AUGHh its so frusterating cuz like i feel like horror has such a potential as a genre to be worked into one that highlights opression #instead of feeding into it and there are def horror movies coming out and that have come out that tackle their themes in a way that works #not to endorse the fear of outsiders or the unknown but instead the fear of what is very well known but often ignored #but like ok so slashers right? I love a good slasher n the genre has so many really good movies but then you get movies like sleepaway camp #which are just. SO entrenched in transmisogynist ideas and queerphobia that its just like. yikes.#and then you have books like dracula and cosmic horror stuff by lovecraft and both the book and that author in speciifc feed into horror as #a genre of hatred where the 'unknown' is whats to be feard and the fear of the unknown too quickly leads into the fear of queerness or #different cultures or races #into bigotry #like i know dracula is big but as someone who read the book and wrote an essay on it. it is so important to acknowledge the copious amounts #of bigotry and misogyny and hatred that stoker wrote into that novel #ITS JUST god i love horror so much but there are just. some films that will never appeal to me cuz i just cant get over the hurdles of #intense hatred #like i could watch all of Halloween because of the amount of ableism like #also to be clear: it was a blind watch my parents are both pastors lol they werent sitting me down to watch slashers in my infancy and ive #only recently started going through and watching a lot of the 'classic' horror films #its fun! ive been having fun most have dated moments but god the first halloween film was rough #still wondering how that kid from middle school who's parents hated gay people and were like conservative catholics were chill with their #like 12 year old son watching a bunch of horror movies #n i couldnt even get my hands on one if i wanted to

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meulinn · 2 years

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I CAUGHT ALL UP W THE CROW STRIDER AU AND WOW…..this has made me so extremely happy..amazing character writing and story telling, absolutely fantastic. It makes that finish it animation 10 times more satisfying. JUST SO GOOD!! WAHHHHGGHG

PLS READ IF U HAVENT HERE

#text #fuck actual canon this is my canon now #HAVING KARKAT FINISH HER OFF..FUCK IM NOT GONNA SHUT UP THAT WAS LITCHERALLY SO FUCKING COOL #BLOOD POWERS…#SEEING EVERYONE DO COMBINED ASPECT ATTACKS…#HER SEEING THE ANCESTORS SHE KILLED IN THEM..#HEART POWERS….HOPE POWERS..SOLLUX BEING SO COOL W HIS DOOM STUFF AUGHH #i am thinkin so much about this holy shit #feferi flipping the empress over was amazing #karkat and terezi…immensely satisfying seeing their teamwork #god i could go on but man. this is what i mean. hs has heart. and the heart is its fans.#they put so much love and care into their works #canon should be ASHAMED!!#im so excited to see more if they do continue..#tony shut up challenge

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p0ison-moon · 1 year

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shaking sobbing throwing up I NEED to be there

#AUGHH #le tigre #dream wife #crying so hard because obviously I can’t go #this is like my dream concert if I could ask for anything in the world I would have asked for this #you don’t get it I’m going to throw myself down a flight of stairs

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