#automatic oil filling machine

[nichromepackagingmachine]

Enhancing Edible Oil Packaging: Nichrome's Advanced Machinery in Bangladesh

The edible oil industry in Bangladesh is witnessing a golden era. From bustling metros to emerging industrial zones, the demand for high-quality oils like soyabean, mustard, palm and other blended varieties is at an all-time high. With the rising health and safety awareness, the preferences of the modern-day consumer have also evolved. This has led to a significant rise in the demand for safer and tamper-proof packaging while packaging edible oils.

In this quality and compliance-driven market, edible oil packaging plays a vital role. It preserves freshness, prevents leakage, and deters contamination, leading towards building a stronger consumer trust with every single pouch or bottle that reaches their hands. This is since today’s consumers look at how the product is packed and carried, and not just at what’s on the cover.

Enter Nichrome, a pioneer in packaging and a trusted partner to some of Bangladesh’s biggest edible oil brands. With our innovative and reliable Nichrome packaging machines, we have set new benchmarks in providing state-of-the-art oil packaging machines that provide high performance, safety and flexibility.

We have been empowering edible oil manufacturers to modernise their packaging operations. Whether you are a large-scale producer or a mid-sized business with growing ambitions, our tailored oil filling machine solutions are built to scale with your success.

Packaging Challenges in the Edible Oil Industry

It is not just about filling and sealing when it comes to packaging edible oils; it is about the fine balance that demands precision, speed, and adaptability. The unique characteristics of oils like mustard, soybean, and vanaspati render standard solutions ineffective. Let’s take a look at the real-world challenges that arise when it comes to packaging these assorted oils:

Handling Viscosity:  Thick oils require a specially designed machine that dispenses without creating air pockets or spills. Our high-performing viscous liquid filling machine ensures smooth, uninterrupted flow

Volume Control: Be it filling compact 100ml sachets or big 1-litre pouches, precision is critical in both. Our manual liquid filling machines help you maintain exact volume with minimal wastage.

Precision with Speed: Time is money, especially when consumer demand surges. Therefore, edible oil brands need machines that can seamlessly deliver high-speed performance without compromising on accuracy. 

Hygiene & FSSAI Compliance: Every single drop of oil needs to be handled with care. Machines must offer food-grade contract parts, easy cleaning, and a design that can successfully align with strict hygiene standards.

Packaging Versatility: From sachets and spout pouches to rigid bottles, the machinery must adapt to various packaging formats. Our oil packaging machines ensure flexibility with every SKU

In Bangladesh, packaging needs range from traditional to modern, and these challenges can’t be ignored. Fortunately, we at Nichrome have engineered solutions that don’t just meet these industry needs; they surpass them. With a vast range of options from manual liquid filling machines to fully automated oil packing systems, we at Nichrome help edible oil brands overcome these hurdles with efficiency and elegance.

Nichrome’s Solution: Advanced oil packaging machines

As Bangladesh’s edible oil industry keeps on growing in volume and variety, packaging demands are becoming increasingly nuanced. This is exactly we at Nichrome step-in, with our custom packaging solutions that can easily align with the regional needs, packaging formats, and product types. Our oil packaging machines bring precision, consistency, and flexibility to every drop that is being packed.

Key Machines for Oil Packaging:

Our vast portfolio of oil packaging machines is a blend of innovation and adaptability:

Filpack Servo SMD – Ensures smooth and precise fills with zero spills, making it ideal for viscous oils like mustard, vanaspati, or ghee. 

Automatic Liquid Packaging Machines – Offers high-speed efficiency with hygienic reliability, most suited for high-volume pouch and sachet operations.

Servo Filling Machines – Provides real-time filling control powered by servo technology, while delivering pinpoint accuracy and consistent fills across batch sizes.

Pouch Liquid Filling Machines – Affordable, scalable, and designed for flexibility in formats and volumes, ideal for startups and mid-scale units.

Technical Features:

Our smart and robust packaging machines don’t just fill but elevate your operation:

Servo-driven filling for high precision and minimal wastage 

PLC-based intelligent control system with user-friendly interface

Stainless steel hygienic build to meet food safety regulations

Flexibility across 100ml to 1-litre packs with smooth volume adjustments

Output: Up to 85 packs/min, depending on product and pack size

Adaptability to bottles, sachets, spouted pouches, and other consumer formats

Together, these features ensure that every single Nichrome machine becomes a smart investment for you, maximising output while maintaining the highest quality and hygiene standards. Whether you are producing premium mustard oil or daily-use cooking oil packets, our oil packaging machines deliver the consistency you can easily count on.

Benefits of Using Nichrome Packaging Machines

When you partner with Nichrome, you get more than a machine; you get a head start on the future of streamlined operations and superior product quality. Here’s how:

Improved Production Efficiency: Avoid bottlenecks and get faster fill rates and uninterrupted flow, giving your production line momentum

Minimal Wastage & High Filling Accuracy: With every drop being extremely valuable, our servo-driven technology ensures that each pouch or bottle receives exactly the right amount

Leakage Prevention: Strong and even seals keep oil fresh, making leakage a thing of the past

Reduced Labour Dependency: Automation reduces operational costs, eliminates manual errors, and increases daily output without requiring an increase in your workforce

Quick Format Changeovers: From volume to pack types, easily adapt to market shifts in real-time with our advanced and flexible packaging machines

Compact Design: Our machines can deliver industrial-grade performance in a small footprint as they are designed for the space-starved production units, even in urban Bangladesh.

With all these advantages, we at Nichrome don’t just improve the way you pack oil, but instead enable you to transform your entire production lifecycle into a more profitable, precise and progressive one.

Supporting a Growing Industry: Nichrome in Bangladesh

As the edible oil sector in Bangladesh is rising to meet the growing domestic consumption and global export demand, oil packaging has become a strategic differentiator. In this shift, Nichrome stands strong beside growth, empowering businesses with technology, training and trust.

With us you get:

Local Support: Our local presence ensures seamless onboarding, with a team of experts for installation, hands-on training, and ongoing maintenance right here in Bangladesh.

 Strong Customer Base: From leading FMCG giants to agile small-scale entrepreneurs, our Nichrome packaging machines power a wide spectrum of edible oil producers.

Wide Range of Options: Machines like Sprint 250 Plus, Excel 400, and Filpack Servo are the backbone of efficient oil packaging machines, delivering speed, hygiene, and impressive ROI.

In short, we are not just selling machines, we are fuelling an entire packaging revolution across the country.

Future Trends in Edible Oil Packaging

As consumer preferences are shifting and technology is advancing, the edible oil packaging landscape is also rapidly evolving, and we at Nichrome are proud to be at the forefront of this transformation. Beyond simply meeting today’s packaging needs, we are engineering solutions for tomorrow’s challenges. Nichrome packaging machines are designed not just for efficiency and hygiene, but for adaptability in a tech-driven and sustainability-conscious world.

Smart Packaging Integration: The future is interactive. Thanks to the implementation of QR codes, barcodes, and batch traceability functionalities, oil packaging now has the potential to carry important product information, best-before dates, and even brand history directly to the consumers

Artificial Intelligence for Quality Control: We're employing artificial intelligence to track fill quantity, detect leaks, and validate packaging integrity—all in real time, with no human error.

Fortified Oil Support: As the market demand for fortified oils and vitamin-enriched oils is increasing in Bangladesh, Nichrome machines provide batch-wise consistency and regulatory compliance for each pouch or bottle.

The future is smart, sustainable, and sensitive to both market trends and consumer wellbeing. We at Nichrome are paving the path forward, one intelligent innovation at a time.

Conclusion

In the fast-paced edible oil sector of Bangladesh, the consumer demand is soaring, hygiene has become non-negotiable, and competition is fierce. Under this scenario, the difference between good and memorable often lies in your packaging line. With fortified and value-added cooking oils gaining ground, good packaging has now become a strategic advantage more than just an operational need.

At Nichrome, we understand that every drop counts; therefore, our oil packaging is about helping your business stay ahead. Whether you are filling mustard oil in a small unit or packaging refined soybean oil for urban supermarkets, we deliver solutions that are tailored to your needs. Our oil filling machines, automatic liquid packaging machines, and pouch liquid filling machines are engineered to meet the real-world challenges by handling viscosity, reducing spillage, and maintaining hygiene with clockwork precision.

With our local presence in Bangladesh, we ensure smooth operations round the clock, be it installation, training or after-sales services. We are proud to partner with several leading FMCG brands and fast-growing SMEs across the country, offering reliable automation solutions that scale with your ambition.Whether you’re a new entrant or a market leader, we empower you to rise, adapt, and lead with smart, scalable, and high-performance Nichrome packaging machines. From compact units like the Filpack Servo SMD to versatile solutions like the Excel 400, we help you unlock operational excellence without overshooting your budget.

[spheretechpackagingindia]

Oil Filling Machine - Quality Oil Filler Machine Supplier in Mumbai

Looking for an oil filling machine Supplier and exporter for your industry, then connect with us now at (022)-2500 5773 we are a leading supplier and exporter focussing on Liquid Packaging solutions.

[nichromeafricapackagingmachine]

Pour, Pack, Preserve: Nichrome’s Packaging Powerhouse Arrives at ProPak East Africa

Packaging is experiencing a significant shift in Africa. Manufacturers in the Africa region are seeking smart, scalable solutions due to rising consumer interest, growing agro and dairy industry. ProPak East Africa 2025, the region's most significant and influential processing and packaging exhibition, is at the heart of this evolution. And, Nichrome is once again at the forefront. 

With a rich legacy of experience, Nichrome has transformed the way brands package milk, grains, pulses, powders and liquids in India. Our focus at ProPak East Africa is not solely on machines, but also on facilitating new possibilities. Our show floor will showcase a powerful combination of state-of-the-art technology, application-specific engineering, and deep understanding of African market dynamics. 

We're offering end-to-end packaging solutions for your business at an advanced level, so take a look at what Nichrome is exhibiting at ProPak East Africa 2025. 

Liquid Packaging Solutions: Edible Oils, Detergents & Beyond

Handling liquids and ensuring their seals are free of any contamination. Filpack Servo 6K, FilPack Servo 12K and Filpack CMS 5L are Nichrome's VFFS and High Fidelity Flavors (HFFS) liquid packaging machines that can process edible oil sack or detergent pod fillings. 

Edible Oils

Edible Oil Packaging Machine solutions come in the form of multi-layer, nitrogen-flushed pouches that retain freshness. 

With servo-driven accuracy, our Bottle Filling Capping Machine lines, including the Filpack Universal bottle filler, can safely fill up to 6,000 bottles/hr. 

Detergents & Powders

Our detergent packaging machine integrates an auger filler for powders and a volumetric cup filler for granules, ideal for washing powder and detergent sachets.

Washing Powder Packaging Machine setups feature quick‑change feed screws to switch between coarse and fine powders in minutes.

Mini Dairy Plant & Milk Packaging:

Hygiene and consistency are essential aspects of any dairy production. Our mini dairy plant puts pasteurization, homogenization, and pouch‑packing under one roof—ideal for small to medium cooperatives and private dairies.

We pioneered India’s first milk pouch packing machine in 1977, and today our milk filling machine range includes:Filpack Universal, Excel 400 and Filling lines.

Why settle for generic when you can get application‑specific? Our automatic powder packaging machine and bottle filling capping machine keep your line flexible, moving from edible oil pouches to detergent sachets with ease. We guarantee our products will never break. 

Powder & Granular Packaging: Speed, Accuracy & Versatility

From sugar to spices, our powder and granule systems are built to scale. At ProPak East Africa, we’ll demo:

Powder sachet packaging machine for milk powder, RTE mixes, and spices

Volumetric cup filler units for rice, pulses, maize, and wheat

Auger filler packing machine modules for fine powders like flour and detergent

Key machines on display: 

Excel 400 with Servo Auger Filler: Packs up to 400 sachets/min with ±1 % precision.

Sprint 250: Compact, high‑speed VFFS for small‑batch runs of spices and coffee.

Flexible 450: Multi‑lane powder sachet packaging machine—perfect for RTE coffee mixes.

Our solutions are suitable for center, threeside, gusseted, and zipper pouches, which can be used with rice packaging machines, maize packaging machinery, or wheat packaging equipment. Changeovers are now simple, meaning you can easily switch from sugar to coffee packaging machine formats. 

Agrochemical & Seed Packaging: Precision Under Pressure

Agribusinesses require machines that handle corrosive chemicals and bulk seeds with extreme care. Enter our seed packaging machine and Pulses Packaging machine lines: 

Anti-corrosive contact parts and dust-tight enclosure design are hallmarks of our seed packaging machine units. 

Various pulses packaging machines are equipped with nitrogen flushing to prevent rancidity. 

Our automatic powder packaging machine can control the dosage of powdered pesticides and fertilizer, while our powder packaging machines with multitrack heads achieve rates up to 1,200 packs/min. The ability to customize powder sachet packaging machine configurations for 5 g–50 ml is essential for small dose agrochemicals. 

Our agro line is built with safety in mind: emergency‑stop interlocks, ATEX‑rated motors, and full CE certification. When you need a seed packaging machine that won’t quit halfway through planting season, you know who to call.

Tea, Coffee & Snack Packaging: Freshness You Can Taste

The scent of freshly ground coffee or crunch of your favourite snack is omnipresent almost everywhere, making it imperative that your packaging machine maintains that aroma and taste. 

Coffee & Tea 

Our Coffee packaging machines are equipped with features such as nitrogen flushing, vacuum sealing, and tamper‑evident sachets for singleserve and bulk configurations. Our cup filling sealing machine can divide leaf tea into individual cups with the lid applied automatically for tea delivery. 

Snacks & Yogurt

The cup filling lines deliver up to 240 cups/min for pudding, yogurt, and RTE noodles. Coupled with our cup filling sealing machine, you get leak‑proof seals—crucial for chilled snacks. And yes, our Yogurt Packaging Machine ensures creamy consistency every time.

Whether you’re in the chai business or snack aisle, Nichrome has you covered: from Sugar Packaging machine sachets for traditional tea to multi‑serve coffee canisters.

Why Nichrome is Africa‑Ready

To cope with the exceptional conditions in Africa, machines must be robust enough to handle humidity levels, voltage fluctuations, and dust. We've invested in: 

Local service hubs in Kenya, Uganda, Tanzania, Rwanda, and Nigeria

Tech‑savvy field engineers who speak Swahili, English, and French

Customized voltage stabilizers & heat‑resistant components

Our ROI calculators show payback in 12–18 months for mid‑range lines—thanks to reduced labour, lower scrap rates, and 24/7 reliability. We calibrate each rice packaging machine, maize packaging machine, and milk filling machine for local SKUs, ensuring your line doesn’t hiccup when you switch from 500 ml milk pouches to 50 g coffee sachets.

We’re not just here to be at booth C5, we’re to be your long‑term partner. From training your team on the mini dairy plant to stocking spares for your Detergent Packaging machine, we stand behind every solution with genuine, end‑to‑end support.

Ready to Package Smarter? Join Us at ProPak East Africa 2025

At Nichrome, we don’t just sell machines—we build packaging ecosystems designed to grow with you. Every solution we showcased at ProPak East Africa 2025—from the versatile Filpack CMD Alpha and compact mini dairy plant, to our advanced powder sachet packaging machines and bottle filling capping lines—is engineered with purpose. Whether it’s a milk pouch or a detergent sachet, a spice pack or an agrochemical dose, we customize and deliver with precision, speed, and scalability. Join us at:

Date: May 20–22, 2025

Venue: Sarit Expo Centre, Nairobi

Stall No.: Booth C5

Swing by to see live demos of our Filpack CMD Alpha, Excel 400, Sprint 250, and integrated mini dairy plant in action. Chat one‑on‑one with our experts, get tailored proposals, and pick up show‑only deals. We can’t wait to help you scale up, streamline, and dominate your category.

FAQs

1. Can Nichrome customize packaging machines for my specific product or pouch format? Ans: Absolutely! Whether you need a powder sachet packaging machine, rice packaging machine, bottle filling capping machine, or a cup filling sealing machine, Nichrome offers modular configurations with flexible fillers (auger, cup, weighers) and pouch styles (3-side seal, gusseted, zipper). We even help with product trials and format changeover support for smooth commissioning.

2. How do Nichrome machines handle sensitive products like dairy, detergent, or seeds? Ans: Our machines are engineered with product-specific technologies—like nitrogen flushing for milk and seeds, anti-corrosive components for chemicals, and hygiene-first designs for dairy. For example, the Yogurt Packaging Machine ensures cold-chain integrity, and the Automatic Powder Packaging Machine features dust-free enclosures for fine detergents or agrochemicals.

3. Does Nichrome provide after-sales support in East Africa? Ans: Yes! Nichrome has established service hubs across Kenya, Uganda, Tanzania, Nigeria, and Rwanda, with multilingual engineers and ready access to critical spares. We offer training, remote diagnostics, AMC packages, and performance optimization to ensure that every sugar packaging machine, seed packaging machine, or pulses packaging machine runs at peak efficiency.

4. What’s the ROI on investing in Nichrome’s packaging automation? Ans: Our packaging systems deliver ROI within 12 to 18 months, thanks to higher OEE, reduced wastage, and lower labor dependency. For instance, our mini dairy plant can reduce manual operations by 30% while increasing output with consistent quality. We also provide ROI calculators tailored to your product and throughput goals.

5. Why should I visit Nichrome at Propak East Africa 2025?

Visiting Nichrome at Propak East Africa 2025 means experiencing packaging innovation firsthand. You'll get to know more about our innovations across sectors like dairy, edible oils, detergents, seeds, and coffee. It’s your chance to meet our experts, explore tailor-made packaging systems, and get business-specific consultations that can future-proof your packaging line.

[nichromepackaging]

From Fill to Finish: Mastering Packaging with Nichrome’s Integrated Systems

In a rapidly evolving manufacturing sector where every minute of downtime is a deal-breaker and manual processes are considered a thing of the past, integrated packaging solutions are the new superstars of the modern production line. Whether it is bottling honey, pharma-grade filling in jars or cartoning pouches for FMCG, efficiency is not just an option anymore, it is a…

[linus-projects-india]

[nichromein]

How Nichrome’s End of Line Machines benefits businesses with efficiency

In today’s fast-paced industrial environment, efficiency is key to staying ahead of the competition. Businesses are constantly on the lookout for innovative solutions that can streamline their operations, reduce costs, and enhance productivity. As a leading name in packaging solutions, we offer a range of end of line machines designed to meet these needs. Let's explore how our end of line machines can benefit your business with unparalleled efficiency.

[mixer-filler]

Customer test video of essential oil filling capping machine SGX.

This video was taken by our customer, it will tell you how simple to operate and test this fully automatic essential oil filling and capping machine. 

[ashthesalamipiece]

"Hot Water, Hot Mess"

Eijiro Kirishima x Fem!Reader — Water Birth — Fluff, Humor, Slight NSFW (Comedic)

The warm lighting of the hospital birthing suite cast a soft glow across the room. The scent of lavender filled the air, courtesy of the essential oil diffuser someone had thoughtfully provided, and the large birthing tub in the center of the room bubbled gently, waiting.

You were already in the water, leaning forward on the edge of the tub, gritting your teeth through a contraction.

“Babe, I’m here. I’m here,” Kirishima said, slightly breathless from racing back from the vending machine with a water bottle you wouldn’t even drink.

You gave him a look that could peel paint.

“Do you want me in there?” he asked gently, crouching beside the tub. “Like—in the water? I can hold you, support you from behind. If you want.”

You nodded quickly, sweat beading on your forehead. ��Yes. Please.”

Without hesitation, he kicked off his shoes and tugged his shirt over his head. You were mid-contraction and barely noticed him then go for the waistband of his sweatpants.

“Wait—are you—?” the nurse started.

“I’m keeping the boxers on!” Kirishima called over his shoulder like a man defending his honor, then awkwardly stepped into the tub in nothing but his red-and-black boxer briefs.

You leaned back against him with a heavy exhale, his muscular chest like a furnace behind you, arms wrapping securely around your waist. The next contraction hit hard, and you writhed slightly, your hips shifting against him as you fought through it.

And that’s when it happened.

Kirishima’s body stiffened—not from stress, not from tension.

“Oh… oh no,” he whispered under his breath, eyes wide as the situation dawned on him.

You turned your head just enough to glance up at him. “What’s wrong?”

He flushed nearly as red as his hair, mouth twitching between laughter and horror.

“Okay, so… this is super awkward, and I swear it’s not on purpose, but—uh—look, I love you, and you’re doing amazing, but—” He coughed. “You keep moving against me and, uh… my brain knows this isn’t the time, but my body—it’s reacting. Automatically.”

“…Kirishima.”

“I got a boner in the birthing tub, okay! I’m sorry! My boxers offer zero defense!”

Despite the pain and pressure, you snorted—snorted—and then burst into laughter, your forehead dropping to his chest. The contraction eased, and you giggled like a maniac as Kirishima awkwardly tried to lean back to give you space, which only made things worse.

“You’re such a dork,” you wheezed.

“You’re the one grinding on me in a tub,” he muttered, then added quickly, “Not your fault! Not your fault! You’re majestic and powerful and terrifying and—honestly, I might pass out.”

You smiled up at him through the haze of pain. “I love you.”

“Even if I have the world’s worst-timed hard-on?”

“Especially then.”

And with that, another contraction hit, and the comedy of the moment faded into the raw, beautiful reality of bringing a life into the world—with your awkward, loving, pantsless husband behind you every step of the way.

---

The next wave hit harder than the last, and this time, you didn’t laugh. You growled, groaned, and clenched Kirishima’s forearm as if you were trying to break his quirk through sheer willpower.

“You’re doing amazing,” he whispered against your ear, lips brushing your temple. His voice was low and steady now, the earlier awkwardness fading as the room was filled with the sounds of labor — and your baby drawing closer.

The midwife leaned forward. “(Y/N), you’re doing great. One more big push, okay?”

You gritted your teeth. “I swear if one more person says I’m doing great, I will drown you in this tub.”

Kirshima didn’t even flinch. “Still beautiful,” he muttered, ignoring the nurse’s snort. “You’re incredible.”

You pushed.

And screamed.

And—

A rush of water.

Then a cry.

A tiny, gurgling, unbelievable sound that split the air like the sweetest thunder.

The midwife brought the baby up out of the water and gently placed them onto your chest. A wrinkly, wet, angry little person flailed their arms, skin flushed, voice strong.

“Oh my god,” you whispered, all pain forgotten as you looked down. “Hi. Hi, baby…”

Kirshima was crying. Like, full-on crying. His face was a mess — red-eyed, sniffly, with tears streaming down and mixing with the water in the tub. He leaned in close behind you, wrapping both arms around you and your newborn, his chest pressed flush against your back.

“I’ve never seen anything so perfect in my life,” he said, voice cracking. “Except you. Both of you. You’re—holy crap—I’m a dad.”

You turned your head slightly to kiss his jaw.

The nurse gently interrupted. “Let’s help you two out of the tub and onto the bed for skin-to-skin, yeah?”

Kirishima stood up slowly, carefully helping you shift as the nurse took the baby for a moment. He was still in nothing but his soaked boxers.

You glanced at him and couldn’t help but laugh through your tears. “Still hard?”

He looked down at himself. “No! No! It’s gone! Scared right off me the second our baby came out. I’m back to respectable levels of clothed.”

You snickered as he helped you onto the bed. “Too bad. I kind of liked you flustered.”

He rolled his eyes, grinning, then sat beside you, brushing a damp strand of hair off your forehead.

The nurse handed your baby back to you, now wrapped in a soft blanket, and Kirishima leaned in to whisper, “I’m naming them Red Riot Jr.”

You squinted at him. “No, you’re not.”

“…It was worth a shot.”

You both laughed softly as the tiniest, strongest new addition to your little family dozed between you, perfectly unaware of the chaos and love they'd just been born into.

---

It had been three days since you brought your tiny human into the world, and somehow, the chaos had only just begun.

Your living room was a mess — burp cloths, pillows, swaddles, and an empty coffee mug precariously perched on the arm of the couch. You were half-asleep under a blanket when Kirishima walked in from the bedroom, shirtless, with your baby snuggled against his chest.

He looked obnoxiously good, even running on two hours of sleep. His abs were still there (how? rude), his hair was a mess, and his eyes were slightly glazed with sleep deprivation — but he wore the softest smile as he looked down at the baby.

“Hey,” you murmured. “She finally stop crying?”

“She’s chill now,” he whispered, bouncing gently as he paced. “She just wanted skin-to-skin. She likes laying on my chest.”

You watched with a sleepy smile as he sat beside you, carefully adjusting the tiny bundle against his bare torso. Her little head rested just above his heart, and her hand flexed slightly in the blanket like a sleepy cat.

Then.

She turned her head.

Mouthed at his skin.

And latched.

Onto his nipple.

Kirishima froze like a deer caught in headlights.

“Uh—uh, babe—uh—SHE’S SUCKING ON ME,” he shouted, voice breaking into high-pitched laughter as he jolted back in surprise.

You snorted awake fully, blinking. “Wait—what?!”

“She’s trying to breastfeed—on me! She thinks I’m the milk guy now!” He laughed so hard his voice cracked, gently lifting her off and placing a hand over his nipple like he’d just been personally violated by a gummy bear.

Your laughter exploded as the baby squirmed, clearly offended at the lack of milk.

“She was so determined!” he wheezed, wiping a tear from his eye. “She looked me dead in the eye like, ‘Yeah, this’ll do.’”

You were howling now. “Guess your pecs are too soft and tempting.”

“I KNEW I should’ve worn a shirt,” he said, mock-offended. “I feel… used.”

He carefully handed her over to you, still giggling. “Here. Give her the real thing, okay? I’m clearly just a knockoff.”

You kissed his cheek as you latched her onto your own chest. “Honestly, you should be honored. She thought your man-boob was trustworthy.”

He puffed out his chest with fake pride. “What can I say? Even babies recognize peak dad bod.”

And as the baby finally settled in to feed — on the correct nipple this time — the three of you nestled back into the couch: one soft, chaotic, hilarious little family.

[bottledpeaches]

the missing ten bytes

SYNOPSIS: even with the newfound ability of speech, he finds he's still unable to tell you how he really feels

CHARACTERS: metal sonic, tails, sonic, eggman, amy

TAGS: set after idw battle for angel island arc, jealous metal in denial, metal has a slight existential crisis, gn reader, mild profanity, fluff, 6.9k+ wc

TAGLIST: @waayix as requested <3, @affinitytales

special thanks to @nyehpperino and @angelitenails for beta reading this! ily <3

also confession time... affi I'm ur 💜 anon

NOTES: lots of computer terminology but I am not a programmer, its been over a month since I last wrote so this may be rusty pls bear with me </3, sonfic nation pls accept my humble first offering

dividers are from @cafekitsune

“Tails… What’s that you’re holding?”

Covered in machine oil and dust as per usual, the boy genius looks over and waves at you. When he notices you staring, he holds up the device in his free hand. It’s small, fitting snugly into the palm of his hand, and resembles an earpiece.

“Oh, this? It’s my newest invention!” he declares proudly. “It’s a real-time translator that can convert binary code into speech! Pretty cool, huh?”

Your gaze drifts to the suspiciously Sonic-shaped robot dragging on the ground behind him, beaten and battered with several dents in his frame. Most likely the work of the real Sonic. His red LED eyes are off and sparks fly off the exposed wiring in his limbs. If Tails notices this severe safety hazard he’s haphazardly handling, he doesn’t say anything. Or most likely, he doesn’t notice, too caught up in whatever genius idea his mind is brewing up. 

“... Is that Metal?”

He flinches, like he forgot he was actually dragging the damn thing around. 

“Er… no?” 

“Tails.”

He reluctantly sighs at your tone and his whole body deflates. 

“Fine, fine,” he grumbles as he turns toward his workshop. “But I swear, this is in the name of… science. Yeah, science!”

The skeptical look you send his way makes him look away again and scratch the back of his neck shamefully. 

“How do I explain this…? You know how Amy was upgrading her hammer the other day?”

“Yeah?”

“Well, Metal spotted Sonic earlier today and you know how the story goes. They got into a fight and Amy decided it would be a perfect time to test her hammer out.”

He mimics her actions as he swings an invisible hammer around. In doing so, Metal slips from his grasp and falls to the ground with a loud thud. He rolls to a stop and you can see, on the back of his head, a giant hammer-shaped dent that aligns with the size and shape of Amy’s. 

“... Yeah. The story writes itself from there on,” sighs Tails as he follows your gaze. You squat down next to the unconscious robot and place a hand on top of his head. Still hot to the touch and you retract your hand quickly, hissing at the slight burn. His internal systems must’ve been working overtime and overheated as a result. You’d wager his circuitry is probably fried beyond repair now.

“That doesn’t explain why you’re dragging what’s essentially glorified scrap metal back to your place though,” you say as you sling one of Metal’s arms (that’s barely held together by a cable) over your shoulder as Tails takes the other. In response, he pulls out the ear piece you noticed earlier and beams brightly. 

“I invented this the other day but haven’t been able to test it yet. But look! Here we are with the perfect candidate!”

“Tails, I do hope you realize what you’re getting yourself into. This is like stepping right into the lion’s den- no, more like inviting the lion straight into our home! And if something goes wrong, we’re all dead meat!”

“Relax! Even if he does go berserk, I’m sure Sonic would love to take another swing at him.”

The garage door to Tails’ workshop opens automatically as you approach. A loud grunt escapes you as Metal slides off you and onto a table. The overhead light flickers on and fills the space with bright, fluorescent light as Tails restrains the robot with some heavy duty chains. Not like it’ll do much if he does wake up… 

“Besides, we don’t even know if he has a language module or not. If he doesn’t, then wouldn’t that mean all your efforts get wasted?”

“No such thing as wasted effort in my eyes!” he replies as he grabs his welding and power tools, aviation goggles discarded on the floor in favor of a welding helmet. “And we’ve heard him speak before.”

“Tails, that was when he was in his Neo Metal form. That was caused by his AI chip becoming self-aware.”

“But the possibility exists,” he argues. “It’s there, just buried beneath Dr. Eggman’s programming. And that’s why I have you with me!”

“M-me?” you splutter out. “Wait, I never said I was-”

“- The resident programmer amongst us!” he interrupts. “I’m just the engineer, remember? If anyone stands a chance of overwriting his code, it’s you. Besides, aren’t you at least a tiny bit interested in being the first to sabotage Dr. Eggman’s failsafe encryption system?”

Your eye twitches. You’d be lying if he said he didn’t speak the truth… 

Tails flips the visor on his helmet down and motions you to back up. Sparks fly and the room is filled with the ear-rattling sound of the grinding wheel undoing the weld that houses his inner workings. When Tails flips the visor up and motions you forward, your eyes widen and practically sparkle at the motherboard before you. Located in his head that Tails has sawed the top off just now is a behemoth of densely-packed wiring and components. You spot several fans, the two CPU sockets with chips that bear Dr. Eggman’s face on them, and several memory slots. Much of the wiring is fried from overheating, however, and the distinct smell of something burning wafts from the printed circuit board. You cover your nose with your hand and grimace at the smell, yet you take a seat beside the robot and get to work anyway. 

The first order of business is to replace all the parts beyond any hope of repair. Tails directs you to where he keeps his collection of computer parts and soon, you return with an armful of components you dug out of a bin. With his help, the wiring is replaced and reworked. His damaged limbs are repaired and reattached to his body. Thankfully, none of his processors or memory cards were damaged, as you’re able to hook him up to a computer and copy all his software and saved information. The computer screen lights up and a download progress bar appears. It soon completes and you see that all of Metal’s saved data has been successfully transferred onto the computer.

While Tails is busy tinkering with the engineering marvel splayed out on the table, you’re busy attempting to get past Dr. Eggman’s notoriously difficult code encryption. As much as you hate the man, you have to begrudgingly admit he does deserve the title of “genius”. No matter what you do, you just can’t get past the security system- there are no openings and no backdoor either. Maybe you’ll just have to brute force it?

… You slam your fist against the table after what feels like the hundredth failed attempt. The high-pitched whirring sound of Tails’ power drill that’s faded into background noise abruptly stops as he stares at you concernedly. You brush off his concern and in a last-ditch attempt, you simply force your way past the protections in place without any regard for what could happen. You’re prepared for failure yet again, but to your surprise, you’re greeted with a welcome screen. Looks like you’re in now. Somehow. 

There’s no doubt that Dr. Eggman hasn’t realized his most prized creation has been gone for a suspiciously long time now. If he hasn’t, then the defenses set up around Metal’s code that surely triggered when you brute forced your way into the system just now will alert him. 

Your eyes scan for any software that could indicate the presence of a language model. But to your surprise, there’s none. If there’s no language model, how can he understand Dr. Eggman’s orders and react in real-time to Sonic’s taunts in the middle of heated fights?

You bite your lip as you scroll through the lines of code making up his software. If it had existed, it was most likely stripped after the events of Angel Island for being considered too “rebellious”. Does this mean there’s a way for you to re-implement it then? 

Your fingers fly across the keys rapidly. Whether Dr. Eggman built Metal’s language model framework up from the ground or not is up for debate, but you aren’t capable of such feats yet. Developing one from scratch would also take too much time and you aren’t sure when the killer robot next to you will awaken either. Instead, you settle for downloading an established model onto a flash drive and extensively tweaking its source code to be more suitable for Metal. That alone takes you long enough as Tails shoots you a nervous glance. He readies his welding tools and readjusts his helmet.

“(Name), I don’t know how much longer Metal is going to stay unconscious… His AI chip has most likely been busy with rebooting him back up. Plus who knows what other defenses he has set up in place…” 

Dammit. With little time left, you encrypt the software as best as you can to avoid Dr. Eggman undoing all your hard work before sticking it into the slot on Metal’s back. The indicator light turning green at the base tells you it’s been successfully compiled and installed. It’s a half-baked product at best and it’ll be nowhere near the level of refinement his original programming was at, but it’s good enough. 

“Ready,” you say to Tails. “Power him back on.”

Tails flashes a thumbs-up. A quick weld job later and he flicks a switch on. The robot’s entire body jerks and shudders from the sudden output of watts now flowing through his circuitry. His red pupils flicker back on and his head snaps in your direction, glaring at you. With a whirr of well-oiled gears, he tugs at the restraints holding him until they snap. He leaps off the table and swipes at you, steel fingers slicing cleanly through the air. You dodge just in time and Tails swoops in from above, whacking him over the head with a stray steel pipe. It disorients Metal just enough for you to restrain him again- not that it does much. He smacks your hand away with his other one, but you hold your glare and to your surprise, he stops in his tracks.

“Say something. Anything,” you demand. 

Tails gets the hint and tosses you the earpiece. You catch the device midair and put it in with a mechanical beep as it powers on. Metal emits a series of clicks and whirrs that you pray is your modified language model formulating a response. 

“Why should I?” comes the translation a few seconds later in a mechanical voice. You gasp.

“It works!”

“Wait, it does?” asks Tails as he flies over to your side. You rapidly nod with the biggest grin on your face as he grips your hands tightly in his. 

“Because thanks to me, you can speak now. You also got a free repair job from our resident boy genius,” you say, motioning to Tails. 

Another robotic whirr. This one sounds confused. 

“You can understand me?”

“Yes!”

Metal turns around and fully faces you now. He taps a finger against his chin and scrutinizes you. At least you think that’s what he’s doing. 

“What did you do?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?”

“Answer me.” 

Tails reaches for the earpiece but you swat him away. You’ll tell him the details later. 

“Oh, nothing. Just a little tweak to your programming. I’m sure you miss being able to speak though, right?”

“My creator will be hearing about this-”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Tell me something I don’t know,” you scoff with a wave of your hand. “And tell him to bring it on.”

“Duly noted.”

You peek an eye open at the robot who’s still glaring at you with murderous intent. A smug grin tugs at the corner of your lips as a thought pops into your head and you swear you see him flinch. Tails shudders out the corner of your eye. 

“I think a thank you is in order?”

He’s gone before you even finish the question, speeding back to his creator’s lair. Hopefully your programming has a fighting chance against Dr. Eggman, if he can even discover it. You hid and encrypted the software pretty damn well with the time you were given, in your opinion. 

“Ah… he’s hopeless,” you lament. 

“What’d he say?” pesters Tails as he circles around you, twin tails swishing in excitement. “How was the translation quality? Was there anything-”

“Nothing special,” you sigh as you head back outside for a much-needed break. “Just Metal being a jackass as per usual. Didn’t even say thank you for the free repair job and the new upgrade of speech! Can you believe it? The nerve of him… Did Eggman forget to install manners or what?”

Tails snorts and bites back a laugh.

“That would explain a lot of things then…”

You remove the earpiece and look down at it, fiddling with the device. 

“The translation isn’t up to real-time standards yet. It takes a few seconds, but it’s already an impressive start.”

“That won’t do,” argues Tails. “Its purpose is to be a real-time translator. Any delay is unacceptable.”

“Ever heard of appreciating every victory, no matter how big or small?”

He glares at you and motions for you to hand the translator back to him. You toss it and he deftly catches it midair. After mumbling some terms you don’t quite make out under his breath, he pockets it and faces you again.

“I’m heading back to the drawing board, but would you be interested in staying onboard for this project? I could really use your programming skills…”

It’s cute, the way he fidgets as if the possibility of you saying “no” was even a possibility to begin with.

“You kidding me? I finally have the chance to one-up Eggman and I’m not letting it slip by now!”

You pat Tails on the back, noting the relief that floods his eyes as he perks up. His twin tails swish excitedly behind him again and he all but drags you back to the workshop.

“What are we waiting for then? Let’s get going!”

It’s a game of tug-of-war from there on out between you and Eggman over who would have control over Metal. The next time you see him after your initial encounter, his creator has already done a number on your programming. Basic speech is compromised and barely audible, instead coming out as a bunch of mechanical beeps and clicks with the occasional garbled word here and there. It takes Amy knocking him out cold with her hammer and almost four hours to get everything re-downloaded and running again, even with you and Tails’ combined brainpower. But it turns out to be a blessing in disguise, as you discover new ways to improve his language model and the translator. Components are swapped out with shinier, newer counterparts that Tails finds as he expands his collection of computer parts. You slowly develop an understanding of Eggman’s programming and how to circumvent its defenses, creating workarounds at a frightening pace that you know the man himself is having a massive headache over. 

The translator inches closer and closer to real-time translation after each encounter with Metal. Your encryption skills improve, as demonstrated by how Metal’s speech is experiencing less frequent setbacks despite his creator surely trying to spoil the fruits of your labor. His speech, which originally started off as simple sentences, evolves into something more complex as his AI chip begins integrating the program and the code begins learning from his speech habits. He even begins seeking you out for help with his speech. 

“It’s you, bothersome friend of Sonic’s.”

By now, the translator is up to real-time speed. 

“... Good afternoon to you as well? Can I help you?”

“I am experiencing jitters in my speech. This must be the result of a bug. Fix it.”

A jitter… Does he mean stuttering?

“Is that what you organics refer to it as?”

“If what I think you’re referring to is right, then yes,” you respond as you boot up your computer. You didn’t even realize you voiced your thoughts. Metal begrudgingly sits next to you as you pop open the control panel in his back to copy and update the software onto your device. “Why didn’t you ask Egghead to patch it for you then?”

“He said, and I quote, ‘wanted nothing to do with such shoddy programming anymore’. End quote. And do not speak of my creator in such a way. This is your first and final warning.”

You sigh. A win is a win, even if it’s a bit of a low blow to your ego… Hopefully, he’ll stay out of your way now since he sees your work as far beneath him. 

You pull up the conversation history in the software. Here, you can see logs of every conversation he’s had, the responses generated, and the ones he chose to go with. It’s the second most recent timestamp that catches your attention. It’s a conversation with Eggman that took place prior to him arriving here. 

| “You’ve been growing soft lately. I don’t recall programming you with emotions. Is it all because of that stupid program now?”

> Yes.   > No.   > Why is it so bad? 

| “‘Why is it so bad?’ Are you MOCKING me?! There is NO room for sentimentality or emotions under this roof! I built you for one purpose and one purpose only and expect you to NOT get sidetracked!”

> Understood.   > Yes, sir.

| “You’re more trouble than you’re worth sometimes and it’s failure after failure… I’m starting to lose faith in your abilities to eliminate Sonic. Can you even do anything right?”

 > I’m sorry.   > …

| “I know I said I’d stay ten feet away from that disgusting program, but it’s getting in the way now. Hmm, perhaps I should… Metal, come here.”

> As you wish.   > Of course.   > Understood.   > N-No.

There it is. Is that the stutter he was talking about?

| “... No? Are you defying me now? But why?! And did you just… stutter?”

> Because it feels nice finally being able to say what’s on my mind this whole time   > None of your business. You didn’t develop this program, therefore why should I tell you? 

| “Oh, so you’re acting cheeky now? Taking after that blue brat, I suppose?”

> No. I’ve always been like this.   > You literally built me in his image, what were you expecting? 

| “Since when?!”

> Since you created me. But you were never there to hear me speak in my Neo form.   > You’re my creator. Shouldn’t you have the answer to that question? 

| “That’s besides the point! And I got rid of that function for a reason! You were too disobedient and annoying whenever you spoke and now I have to hear it all the time! Metal, this is an order to you from your creator. Come over-! Wait, where are you going? Get back here!”

The next timestamp is from your conversation when he first arrived here. You close out of the software and tap your foot, sinking deep into thought. 

“What is the issue?”

“How do I explain this…?” you begin. “Metal, there’s nothing wrong with you. That stutter, or jitter in your speech, as you called it, is perfectly normal.”

He lets out a disgruntled-sounding mechanical beep.

“How so?” he demands. You sigh.

“Metal, you were most likely feeling nervous at that moment. People tend to stutter when they’re nervous. It’s a natural thing to do.”

He laughs. It’s a robotic, clipped sound, sounding almost sarcastic to your ears. The speed at which he’s learning is quite impressive, really. 

“Impossible. I am a robot, a creation of Dr. Eggman. I cannot feel emotions the way you organics do.”

“We’ll see about that,” you grumble as you scroll through alerts regarding his operating system. 

| Power surge detected in central battery pack. Risk of component failure or overloading increasing. Action recommended. 

| Temperature spike detected. Risk of overheating is imminent. Increasing fan speed to 2500 rpm. 

| Fans nearing maximum rpm speed. Prolonged usage can lead to CPU fan failure. Action recommended. 

“What’s this I see then?” you taunt, a hint of a smirk curling at the corner of your lips. Metal looks over your shoulder at your computer screen, then pointedly turns away with a quiet whirr. 

“... Those are regular operating alerts. Your point falls flat.”

You roll your eyes. 

“So these occurrences happen regularly? I feel bad for your processors if that’s the case.”

He crosses his arms and you sigh at the sight. 

“... You know, it’s not as shameful as you’ve been led to believe.”

“Don’t tell me what to think.”

“You won’t be able to think at all once I turn you into scrap metal for Tails to repurpose,” you retort, unable to resist the temptation of a sassy comeback. Metal glares at you as if you’ve personally offended him. You stand your ground and eventually, he backs down first. 

“Think about it,” you say, trying to reason with him, since that’s apparently the only way you can get anything through his thick skull. “They’re actually quite beneficial. Had you not put up a fight, you wouldn’t be speaking to me right now.”

He stays silent. You huff. 

“You absolute bolt bag. Which one would you prefer- being able to speak or not speak at all?”

“You are putting me in a bind here,” he says. 

“That doesn’t answer the question.”

“And I decline to give an answer.”

You wordlessly turn back to your computer and boot up the software again. Your fingers click against the keys as you type and Metal looks over curiously to see new lines of code on your screen.

“What are you doing?”

“Since you refuse to be honest with me, I’ll have your software take that matter into its own hands.”

Oh, he doesn’t like that smug tone in your voice. Not one bit.

“... What are you planning now?”

There’s a self-satisfied grin on your face as you continue typing.

“Your software will now force a response to every question asked, regardless of who’s asking. And I’m purposefully encoding a bug to ensure you’ll always pick the most embarrassing response the software generates. Isn’t that fun?”

Metal’s eyes widen and he buzzes indignantly. 

“You-!”

You merely laugh and delete all the lines of code. Not even the sweet feeling of cooling down after overheating could compare to the sheer relief Metal feels at the sight. 

“Just playing with you. But that’s the most emotion I’ve heard from you so far, y’know?”

He buzzes again and you sigh. What a killjoy. 

“Metal, why were you so afraid?” 

Back to business now. 

“I was not afraid,” he snaps. And perhaps that’s true. A robot can’t feel emotions the same way you do and he’ll never be able to. The only possibility of that ever happening would be to wipe Eggman’s programming and rewrite his code from scratch, but at that point… could he even be considered the same robot anymore? A philosophical question you’d rather not ponder in the face of said murderous robot sitting in your home office. 

“You’re just as incorrigible as your creator!”

“I’ll take that as a compliment.”

You jab your finger at his torso, glaring at him viciously. He meets your gaze unflinchingly.

“Ask yourself, who has your best interests at heart?” you hiss. “The man who got rid of your ability to speak without any consideration as to how you felt, all to save himself from a headache, or the one who restored those functions without expecting anything in return?”

“You know that I will always choose my creator over you.”

Ouch. That stings more than you’d like to admit, but you fight back the hurt expression that threatens to cross your face in favor of a harsh smack to his head. Your hand throbs in pain and it definitely hurts you more than him, but you derive a small amount of satisfaction when he flinches and his eyes flicker to form exclamation marks. 

“You’ll only do so because of your programming. If I stripped you of Eggman’s programming and replaced it with mine, would you make the same decision?”

You glare at him one last time before slamming the door shut in his face. He stands there, motionless, for several long seconds as he mulls over your words.

Who would I be, if I weren’t created by him?

Metal doesn’t know. Everything he’s ever known has always revolved around his creator. He sifts through his memory bank in an attempt to find anything that isn’t tied to Dr. Eggman in some way, but comes up empty-handed. His CPU stutters and freezes up and he’s left paralyzed. Is this the emotion organics call “fear”?

It’s then he realizes your finger was aimed at where a heart would be located. After his AI chip performs a hard reset, he presses his hand over the spot you were touching. He feels a strange buzz throughout his body that he quickly traces its cause to his fans spinning rapidly and causing mild vibrations. 

… How uncharacteristic. 

It’s an uncomfortable sensation, but not an unwelcome one. 

You see Metal around more often from there on out. Lingering at the corners of your vision as you go about your day, inviting himself into your house and overstaying his welcome, and watching you debug his code. You’re well aware of his presence but don’t say anything. Let him see the world without tunnel vision for once. 

“Why is Metal following you around?” asks Tails one day in the workshop. He looks out the window to see the blue robot standing in the bushes and staring intently, not even bothering to hide himself. At this point, your programming has been fully integrated by his AI chip, rendering the translator Tails had initially developed obsolete. The young fox across the table from you is currently disassembling the earpiece and repurposing its components as he casts glances at Metal periodically, not even bothering to hide his suspicion. 

“Ignore him,” you say without looking over your shoulder. “He won’t do anything as long as I’m around. Think of him as… a lost puppy rather than a murderous robot.”

There’s a loud buzzing sound from the bushes, as if he’s pissed at your statement, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care less, instead turning back to your computer with a light laugh. 

During your time in the lab, Tails repurposes the earpiece into a smartwatch which shares the same language software Metal uses. Not only can you now see his conversation logs and how he’s feeling without your computer, but it also doubles as a haptics registering system for Metal. With a swipe, you can switch between components and see their status in real time. Tails gives it to you under the condition that you would share the results with him so he could further understand Eggman’s engineering.

… Perhaps it’s a bit of a betrayal of trust now that you think about it, but you also wouldn’t have been able to get your hands on the device otherwise. A little secret never hurts anyone, right?

He sees you dozing off under the shade of a palm tree. Analyzing your sleeping expression and your biodata, he comes to a conclusion: content. From your heart rate and your respiratory rate, he can assume that you’re in a deep sleep. Perhaps you’re even dreaming right now. Before he knows it, he finds himself standing at your side and looking down at your sleeping form. 

| What should I do?

> Accompany them.   > Leave without a trace.

There’s a short clicking sound from him. He doesn’t like either of those options. One is too forward of a move and another one makes it seem like he was never there at all. Metal looks around, shuffling in circles in the sand, until he finds a solution.

When you wake up from your impromptu nap, you find a bouquet of wildflowers resting in your hands that were clumsily picked. Some of them are bent in half at the stem and others have petals missing, yet you smile and hold the flowers closer anyway.

“He’s not as subtle as he thinks he is,” you lightly scoff to yourself, fingers stroking the petals. “How cute.”

He sees you typing away at your computer throughout the day, brows furrowed and biting your lip. Focused. Your eyes narrow and your gaze hones in on something as you type out a few more lines of code. Anticipation. Your eyes light up and you clap your hands together in victory, pushing yourself back in your chair and spinning around. Relief. Victory. And the cycle repeats. But more often than not, you become even more frustrated instead of achieving sweet victory. Such is the life of a programmer. 

What he doesn’t see, however, is you tapping away at your watch and seeing the conclusions he’s drawn once he’s left, presumably having grown bored with watching you sit at a desk for hours on end. 

| Conclusion: Focused. Anticipating something. Relief. Victory.

You hum and raise your eyebrows in pleasant surprise. 

“Not bad. But he still has a lot to learn.”

He sees you hanging out with friends too, silently trailing a safe distance from behind. His AI chip is always prompting him to do weird things during those times, however- glare daggers at your poor friend until they leave, purposefully make his presence known, or even say something to get them to leave. It must be another bug, decides Metal. He’ll ask you to fix it later. But right now, he’s focused on your form taking a walk alongside… Sonic. 

Revulsion. Disgust. But there’s something else too. What is this feeling? 

Jealousy, responds the software. But he’s too prideful to accept such a diagnosis. He can’t possibly be jealous of Sonic. The very thought makes him want to laugh. It should be the other way around! But seeing how you let Sonic sling an arm around your shoulder and let him drag you around... it makes him realize the gap between himself and that blue hedgehog. And he wants nothing more than to bridge it. 

Now is the perfect time to swoop in and show that hedgehog who’s the real Sonic, but he holds off- partially for your sake but to also hear where the conversation will be going after catching his name. 

“From what I heard, that hunk of scrap metal actually talked back to Egghead! Can you believe it? He gave the man attitude!”

Sonic puffs his chest out and smiles proudly. Metal feels the familiar urge to run over and kick him in the head. 

“Maybe I am rubbing off onto him more than he’d like to admit. What can I say, I’m a good influence! Now, if he could just shape up to be a better… person? Robot? Whatever.”

“... Or it’s because of his shiny new language model that I’ve been modifying.”

Sonic’s face falls and twists into a disgruntled scowl at your words.

“You’re stealing my thunder here,” he grumbles.

“No, I’m just telling you to give credit where credit is due.”

Metal fights the command telling him to laugh. At least, that’s what you call that specific sound. A snarky reply is generated and lies in waiting, ready to be used. Perhaps he’s picked up your sass more than he’d like to admit. 

He accidentally steps on a twig underfoot and freezes as Sonic’s ears twitch at the sound. Sonic looks around and meets Metal’s glowing red eyes hiding in the bushes. He grimaces, hand bunching into a fist and ready to turn the robot into little more than a dented tin can at a moment’s notice. 

“Ew, it’s you. You’re looking hideous as usual, by the way.”

“I am not hideous. You are just projecting.”

“Great, you’re even more insufferable now that you can speak. (Name), remind me why you took up this little passion project of yours again?”

You lazily shrug.

“Wanted to one-up Eggman for once.”

“Joy,” grumbles Sonic. “My cheap knockoff can now speak all because you got into a metaphorical dick measuring contest with- woah! Easy there!”

He leaps out of the way right as you shove him. 

“As if you’re not doing the same thing on a near-daily basis!”

This time, Metal does laugh, red eyes narrowing into slits and shoulders shaking. Sonic glares over his shoulder at his robotic counterpart.

“Oh, piss off already, would you?”

He laughs again, this time just to spite his rival. 

“Whatever,” grumbles Sonic. “Let’s just get out of here.”

As Sonic moves to drag you away, Metal’s hand shoots out to grab you by the shoulder. Steel claws dig into the flesh and he has to hurriedly ease up on his grip, lest he accidentally draw blood.

Soft, he thinks. Malleable and breakable, unlike his body of titanium. It’s the first time he’s touched you of his own accord. He’s always been aware of how organics are more fragile than him, with bodies that could be injured once and never recover. It’s been a sore point of contention for him- how does Sonic keep surpassing him with a body that tires and will eventually fail? Yet despite his organic counterpart standing in front of him, Metal’s focus isn’t on him. It’s on your pulse beating beneath his touch and the way his claws dig and sink into your soft flesh. For the first time, he realizes just how frail you are. And the knowledge that he is capable of damaging you beyond repair sends his mind into overdrive. He freezes at the thought, and it’s enough of an opportunity for Sonic to smack his hand away with a glare that could kill. He has no pain receptors, yet he feels a strange pang. 

“Keep your hands to yourself! Didn’t Egghead teach you that or was he too busy programming you to be as much of an asshole as possible?”

Metal doesn’t follow Sonic as he leads you away, although there’s a strange urge to give chase. Once you’re out of sight, he looks down at the hand that was touching you, and flexes his fingers. They move in a mechanical motion, gears spinning and cables going taut at the command. His temperature sensors still retain the warmth of your body and he finds himself seeking it out again, even though he could very easily replicate and surpass your warmth by overheating on purpose. Metal shakes his head and dismisses the thought. A stupid idea. You’d scold him for it as well. 

At this point, he’s amassed a considerable amount of information regarding human emotions and knows what he’s feeling at this point. That four-letter word sits at the forefront of his mind. He buzzes angrily and tries to squash the feeling down, but it pops back up. 

… How irritating.

If he was trying to stay hidden before, then he’s not even bothering to hide his presence now. He’s at your side when shopping and obediently carrying your bags. When going on your evening walk, he’s there, identifying species of flowers and butterflies for you when you point at them. On the rare occasion he does leave your side, there’s always a little gift left in his place for you to discover. A collection of polished rocks, a bouquet of wildflowers picked from the hills behind your house, computer parts still in mint condition (did he go dumpster diving for these?), more flowers, pretty vases for said flowers, even more flowers… yeah, you’re noticing a pattern here. 

Metal even starts sneaking you into Eggman’s base, much to your amusement. He’ll disable the security systems and avoid the other robots patrolling around before leading you to the main computer room, where you’ll (begrudgingly) marvel over the quality workmanship that is Eggman’s tech and perhaps steal some trade secrets for your own use. 

The first time Eggman catches you red-handed, he’s so shocked all he can do there is stand motionless as he watches his most prized creation catch you in his waiting arms as you jump through a window. 

“M-Metal! What is this? Don’t tell me you’re in your rebellious phase now? Wait, that shouldn’t even be possible-”

You lazily shrug and cut him off with a wag of your finger. 

“Doc, you programmed him after Sonic, the guy that doesn’t care about rules and always goes against you. I don’t know what else to tell you other than you brought this upon yourself-”

“Get out!”

One night, you’re shaken awake by Metal. It’s not the first time he’s broken into your house, but it is the first time he’s done so at such a late hour. Metal understands the importance of sleep to organics and from his scanners, would’ve seen that you were in a deep sleep. So what gives?

“... What do you want?” you grumble as you come face to face with the robot standing at your bedside. He beeps and extends a hand. 

“I have something to show you. Come with me.”

A few minutes later and he’s flying across the lush landscape with you held securely in his arms. It’s a clear night with a full moon. The stars twinkle overhead and you can hear the chirp of insects in the grass and trees despite the wind in your ears. 

“Where are you taking me?”

“You’ll see.”

He comes to a stop and sets you down atop the hills overlooking your home. The air is rich with the sweet scent of wildflowers he often picks for your bouquets and the grass is lush from the heavy rains as of late. Toward the horizon sits Eggman’s lair, a hulking beast lying in wait for the right moment. 

You pat the spot next to you, but for once, he doesn’t sit next to you. Instead, he chooses to stand at your side and look off into the distance silently and awkwardly. He seems to be pointedly avoiding your gaze as you narrow your eyes at him, searching for a hint of what he could be hiding. When you uncover nothing, you irritatedly sigh and lie down. 

“First, you break into my house while I’m asleep despite knowing the importance of sleep to organics, then you turn down an invitation to sit next to me, which you’ve never done before. You’re acting weird. Tell me, what’s going on?”

He emits a series of beeps. Specifically, a combination of a high-pitched and low-pitched beep. You’ve gotten so used to him speaking that you almost don’t realize it’s his way of vocalizing binary code.

… But why would he do that now, of all times?

“Metal, Tails and I got rid of the translator a long time ago. I have no idea what you just said.”

“I know,” he says before pulling out a pen and some paper. After accompanying you on your shopping trips and errand runs for so long now, he’s gotten accustomed to having some paper and a writing utensil on him at all times now. 

You watch with wide eyes and bated breath as Metal’s hand grips the pen tightly, easing up on the pressure when he feels the plastic crack beneath his fingertips. He is not a gentle robot by design, quite literally programmed to kill. Knowing how to handle things with care, when to squeeze tightly and when to cradle gently… this is all unknown territory to him. Did the bouquets of flowers he picked for you every day work in making you realize his newfound feelings? He doesn’t know. By following you around, did you realize that was his way of ensuring your safety? He doesn’t know. By doing what you said, did you realize that was his way of telling you he trusts you? Again, he doesn’t know. His scanners tell him you feel affection towards him, but what kind? Familial, romantic, platonic- which one was yours? 

Only one way to find out. 

| Are you sure you wish to proceed? This decision will have irreversible consequences.

And for once, there is only one response generated.

> Yes.

Faster than your eyes can process, he scribbles something onto the paper and shoves it into your hands before fleeing. He’s out of sight within seconds, but your eyes stay trained on the spot you last saw him, listening for any indication he might be within earshot. The only sounds you hear as you strain your ears as the quiet chirps of insects and the rustling of the wind through the grass. No sign of a blue robot hiding. But knowing him, he’s probably watching from behind a tree somewhere, so with a sigh, you unfold the crumpled paper.

Your eyes widen at the sight. It’s hastily-copied binary code. The paper is torn in some areas from the force of his writing and the ink bleeds through in some spots, but it’s still legible. In an instant, your mind translates the several zeros and ones into three simple words. The initial dose of shock wears off, followed by realization.

So that’s why he was acting so weird.

A frown tugs at the corners of your mouth after a few more seconds. 

Why didn’t he say so sooner? Did he think I wouldn’t reciprocate?

Your frown transforms into a determined scowl. Time to fix that then. 

He still has a lot to learn if he thinks that’s what I would do.

You let go of the note, watching as the edges flutter in the palm of your hand before being carried away by the wind. The implications of what this could mean for the future are lost on you in the moment as you head back home to where you’ll surely find Metal lying in wait on the walk there. Right now, you have a robot to confess to. 

01101001 00100000 01101100 01101111 01110110 01100101 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101

enjoyed this? the taglist is open!

@ bottledpeaches, do not copy, repost, modify, translate, or feed to ai

[voxina]

Jade Thirlwall was only 14 when she first presented herself for judgement. She put on her best leopard-print headband and bravely sang some of Whitney Houston’s ‘Where Do Broken Hearts Go’ in front of the X Factor panel. “You’re a funny little thing, aren’t you,” remarked an amused Simon Cowell, like a cat playing with its food. Louis Walsh then jumped in with: “Unusual!” In response, Thirlwall thanked them with an unwieldy grin. 

For this tiny singer, it would be a case of third time lucky. After being put through to boot camp twice, she auditioned again at the age of 18, now wearing leopard-print trousers. Judge Kelly Rowland told the naturally shy teenager she’d be good in a girl group, an idea that Thirlwall was completely unimpressed with. She was resolute about being a solo artist and an unusual one at that.  

Rowland, of Destiny’s Child fame, had correctly identified herself in Thirlwall. That season of the show, Thirlwall was placed in what would become the second biggest-selling UK girl group of all time, Little Mix. Their accolades could fill an infinite scrolling Wiki page. They were a well-oiled commercial pop machine amassing billions of streams with hits like ‘Black Magic’ and ‘Shout Out to My Ex’ while touring stadiums until they went on hiatus in 2022. “I didn’t see myself as a conventional girl’s girl. I was nerdy and quiet. When they told me I was gonna be put in a girl group, I automatically thought of Pussycat Dolls,” she laughs. “I thought, ‘Oh no, I’m not sexy — and if they’re bitchy, I’ll struggle because I’m not confrontational at all. I shrink at any drama.’ But it turned out to be the best thing to ever happen to me for my confidence and understanding of sisterhood.”

Tonight, I’m sharing wine with her at a table in Shoreditch House to discuss the fact that Thirlwall finally has what she wanted: she is the solo pop star she always dreamed of being. “I’m a bit of a dark horse,” the Rolling Stone UK Trailblazer Award winner tells me. “I’ll try anything once. I don’t see myself as a safe person creatively and I am a bit strange. All my life I’ve been told I’m weird.” Her bandmates and friends saw it, her boyfriend, Rizzle Kicks singer Jordan Stephens, saw it, Cowell clocked it after only minutes in her company, and now the rest of the world gets to see it.  

Outwardly, she didn’t seem like the biggest personality in the band, but behind the scenes, Thirlwall had been the creative driving force and business mind. For her solo project, that incisive playfulness is fully on display. From the horror-influenced visuals to the Drag Race inspiration, Thirlwall — whose solo artist name is JADE — is more aligned with Charli XCX than Little Mix. On the addictive lead single, ‘Angel of My Dreams’, she switches between a Y2K sound, hyperpop and a nostalgic girl band chorus gone wonky to tell a story about the dark side of the music industry, a theme that is repeated across her presently untitled debut album. It’s smart and entirely unexpected.  

In person, Thirlwall has the same excitable offbeat energy she had as a 14-year-old in her first audition. She’s like a conspiratorial friend primed for gossip exchange: she directs me to a clip that circulated from a Little Mix interview where fans thought she was on cocaine because she was pulling odd faces. “People don’t believe me even now,” she laughs, pausing to sip on her rosé. There were bad moments and dramas when she was in the group, of course, but she’s prepared for the same to happen in her solo career. “I’m never going to discredit what we achieved. I don’t have anything bad to say about it, so I wouldn’t stir anything up, just to look cool,” she laughs again. 

The group’s young fanbase has matured with its members. Thirlwall doesn’t see it as her responsibility to appease them or tell them what they should and shouldn’t do. “I’m 31 years old, I’m gonna write about stuff I experience, my merchandise will reflect that, you know what I mean?” One such recent merchandise bundle includes sex aids. The other day, while recording with Sugababes, she told them what’s included in the package and had to explain to Keisha Buchanan what a butt plug is, much to her amusement. This is an older and wiser Jade Thirlwall having even more fun.

Thirlwall grew up in a household of eclectic tastes in South Shields, a seaside town near Newcastle. Her mother was a Motown fan who looked like Diana Ross, while her dad listened to 80s power ballads and VH1 classics. Her big brother — who she aspired to be like as every younger sibling does — was deeply into the happy hardcore-clubland classics era of the 90s and 00s. It was a happy childhood, in part due to the fact that there’s a strong Yemeni community in South Shields (Thirlwall is half Arab: one-quarter Yemeni, one-quarter Egyptian). “I have a lot of memories of my grandad cooking curries or waiting for him outside the mosque,” she remembers. “I listened to his prayer and Arabic music, too.” It wasn’t until she went to a Catholic secondary school, where she felt alienated, that she began to struggle with racist remarks and her feelings of anxiety. She was bullied by other girls, hence her initial reservations about being in a girl band. 

While she was in Little Mix, she didn’t understand that she could have spoken out more about her race. “I’d only ever seen negative stereotypes of Arab people in the press, so I was scared to promote my heritage,” she says. “I feel sad for my younger self that I could’ve been the representation I needed back then. I try to make up for that now.” Thirlwall has been outspoken about issues close to her heart. Whether it was attending Black Lives Matter protests and pro-Palestine rallies or becoming an LGBTQ+ rights ambassador for the UK charity Stonewall, she stands out among many of her peers for her political verve. 

Each of the girls knew a year ahead that Little Mix were disbanding, so they individually spent that period preparing in the studio. “It took me a long time to figure out how to not write a Little Mix song because that’s all I’d done for a decade,” admits Thirlwall. Panicked about the idea of having so much stillness after the group, she made an abundance of music in a bid to find her sound as soon as possible. This became an advantage: so sure of what she wanted to do, Thirlwall was able to approach potential labels with a fully formed vision. After signing with RCA of Sony, they assured her she could take her time to release her solo music, which came as a surprise: in the pop world, two and a half years is a long time to disappear. “In hindsight, I was freaking out about existing without the group and thought I had to jump on the hype of us just disbanding. If I’d released then, I would’ve been anxious and have put so much pressure on myself to be as big as [Little Mix] was.”

[...]

If Thirlwall was in charge of the music industry, it’d look different. Sure, it’s improving for artists because social media means “you can’t get away with as much bad shit”, but there’s some way to go. When I ask her how she’d change it, she sits up in a businesslike manner and adopts an Elle Woods from Legally Blonde tone. Before she’ll answer that, she’ll take me back to the nagging feeling she had that something wasn’t right with Little Mix. The four girls were presented with different contracts and told who their team was, and she didn’t feel she had a choice. 

To all intents and purposes, Thirlwall and her fellow Little Mix band members were child stars. She agrees with this assessment. “I almost think you shouldn’t be allowed to be a star until you’re 18. I’m so glad I was turned away and didn’t get put in Little Mix until I was 18 — and even then, I feel like that was too young,” she says. 

Previous X Factor winner and South Shields born-and-bred Joe McElderry had warned Thirlwall of his negative experiences in the industry. “I remember him saying make sure your mum’s there when you’re doing all these important signings. But I was too young to understand what he meant, and I made the same mistakes as him.”  

It wasn’t until halfway into their career that the young women looked around and wondered who that person in the room being paid to be there was or why their peers and friends were making more money than them. Thirlwall and bandmate Leigh-Anne Pinnock helped to write the Little Mix music but weren’t signed into a publishing deal until 2019. Unfortunately, it was a “really shit deal” that they were stuck in but at least she was finally recognised as a songwriter, financially speaking. (For her solo career, she has not signed a publishing deal because she now finds it hard to trust the entire framework.)  

If she were queen of the industry, her first decree would be to introduce a comprehensive course that artists take as soon as they’re signed by a label (if not sooner), that teaches them what a label deal is, how royalties work and how they make their money. That would prevent the type of situation that Little Mix got into when they were first signed. “When you come from a working-class background, you get your advance and think you’ve made it, but you have to recoup everything back. You’re getting all these lavish cars and making them wait for ages, but you’re footing that bill eventually,” she laughs drily. She would also introduce the sort of mental health care she’s managed to negotiate as a solo artist with her new label: a substantial pot of money that she can use if she needs therapy. 

The topic of mental health brings the conversation round to Liam Payne, the One Direction member who tragically died in an accident while under the influence of drugs in October. He was Thirlwall’s peer — the only X Factor pop group to outperform Little Mix by any metric was One Direction, with the two groups frequently spoken about in the same breath — and was once her friend. They both had their first auditions during the same series, aged 14. The pair returned a second time: Liam went through to the finals and was placed into One Direction while Thirlwall was sent home. Payne was encouraging of Thirlwall and told her she had to keep trying X Factor. She was then put in a group on a later series. They fell out of touch over the years, but she was naturally upset to hear of the news for both him and for his family — their mothers are still friends.   

“When the news broke out, it did shake me up because we’d started the same, but we’d ended up on very different paths. We both wanted to make it so much and sometimes that is a blessing and a curse to get what you’ve dreamed of. It’s unbelievably tragic,” she says of Payne’s death.  

Just hours after it was reported that Payne had died, Thirlwall was due to start a heavy day of promo for her single ‘Fantasy’. She cancelled it as she didn’t feel like she was the right person to be fielding questions about his passing so soon after it happened. After all, she hadn’t been close to Payne over the past several years. “All I can speak of is who I knew he was when we were kids, and he was someone that wanted to make his family proud,” she reflects. “He wanted to be a singer more than anyone I knew.”

[Full article here]

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[nachosncheezies]

Hey thank you for the tag, @randomfoggytiger!

Rules: share the first lines of ten of your most recent fanfics and tag ten people

Well, look. I've not actually put too many stories out into the world, so I'm gonna hybrid this: I'll do the first lines of my 5 most recently posted stories, then I'll do first lines of some random chapters I have in the pipe. In the order they were posted:

The Coin (NBC's Blindspot, episode 3x22)

They’ve been searching for him for years; this past year it has been in earnest. And finally he is found, leaning against a tree, his sister still curled around him in the sunset.

2. The Leopard (NBC's Blindspot, episode 2x12)

“I’ve seen it,” Roman growled with rage as he burst into the room, throwing the door open with such force it bounced off the wall with a sharp crack and swung closed again, “and I’ve solved it. Was this Shepherd’s idea, or yours?”

~Everything from here on will be X-Files~

3. Bitter Truth

It is hopeless, the doctors say, hopeless, his contacts agree, and he tries and tries to find his own solution - he will not give up - but 'hopeless' is all he finds. They've seen so much, survived so much, he has put her through so much, and coming to the other side of all things to this place that is theirs is so new. No one ever said life was fair.

4. A joke; a lie

There were rumors, a man claims, and it’s a trick. Less than a trick - a joke, and they the butts of their own poor wit, because seven years on and they still underestimate the depth of commitment, of integrity, and yes, of love that makes their quintessential Mulder-Scullyness.

5. The Bet

They were going to pay a visit to Billy Miles. They were drenched, completely soaked through from the cold cemetary rain. Scully sat shivering audibly in the passenger seat. 

Mulder pulled off at the diner. “Our rooms and our clothes are gone. At least it’ll be warm,” he said.

~And the rest of these are not yet posted~

1. Prologue for as-yet-untitled s8 fill-in-the-blanks series/compilation sort of thing

It started with a phone call: the beep of an answering machine, a click on the line. A face in the street she'd only just met and now judged an adversary. Two missing computers and an exhaustion so deep and drawn that her bones ached until they were numb.

She delivered the happy news in her mother’s living room, heels pressing grimy prints into the fine carpet. In the dull midnight glow of a single table lamp, Maggie's eyebrows and pitch both rose, as is a mother’s rote. “Oh Dana, honey, that’s–” she started automatically, but the sentiment went unfinished; wonderful or baffling or any of a dozen other adjectives that might have applied were lost, instead, to a too-perceptive, “What’s wrong?” 

2. Deadalive, for same

They say that to raise a child, it takes a village. When all the numbers were in it turned out that two scrappy FBI men with a willingness to tell authority and common sense both to go to hell, and one FBI doctor who has seen so much space voodoo magic as to be willing, in a pinch, to commandeer someone else's hospital floor and embrace things that should have no business in earthly medicine, is all it takes to raise a man from the dead. Fox Mulder had foregone the rowboat to swim in the River Styx, and with a parting microbial gift from the creatures who had murdered him and a measure of reckless love from those around him, he once again lived to tell the tale.

3. Now it's Three Words and Mulder's being wholly uncommunicative

Sometimes, Scully wished she could crack Mulder open and peer into his head. Surely the brain that housed someone so extraordinary must look unique.

4. something something vienen

Scully wasn't even mad. She had been anxious, of course - still hated to let Mulder out of her sight - but stranding himself in the Gulf with the black oil and a trustworthy yet insufferably skeptical partner wasn’t even close to the worst thing he had ever done.

5. why yes, there is an all things chapter for married-on-a-dare (aka The Bet, coming eventually to an ao3 near you)

What if there was only one choice, and there were signs along the way?

"You didn't come back," she said, standing at the threshold of his bedroom, blanket wrapped around her shoulders.

Mulder was sitting up on his bed. He set aside the file he was reading, took off his glasses and set them aside, too. He smirked. "I went to get something to read and when I came back you'd starfished yourself out across the couch."

She regarded him skeptically. "I don't starfish."

You know, what this exercise has really driven home is that I really need to work on the openers of most of my chapters-in-progress. 😅 These were the only ones even slightly fit for human consumption lmao

Now! I think Tiger tagged pretty much every active writer in all of tumblr xfilesdom, soooo who else do I know that writes???? @unorthodox-oblivion ??? @wolvereaux ??? @narvaldetierra ??? @indelibleevidence ??? No pressure OF COURSE. Or if you want tell me what you're imagining these days, or just know that I was thinkin about ya. 💕

[eishtmo]

Why Your Inventory Sucked Part 2

One of the positive things about working inventory is all the places I've been. I have seen more of the world of retail than most people even know exist. I've been in the back rooms and break rooms of so many stores I have to remind myself I shouldn't just go back there when I walk around a store.

I've been to warehouses and distribution centers. I counted book fair supplies in storage units, and a pharmacy distribution center with 3 giant round machines to fill bottles. One was a company that sold parts to oil drillers. Another was a warehouse where you could by anything for classic cars from doors to the manuals. I've also been in the backstage areas of amusement parks, and eaten in their cafeterias. I've walked through massive freezers, and sweltered in sheds.

And on top of that I drove to small towns you didn't know existed, down poorly marked roads and close enough to both the Canadian and Mexican border that I could wave to the residents and they could wave back. I drove a lot is what I'm saying. It was an experience I really enjoyed.

PART 2: Bad Accounts

Most inventories can be divided into two groups: Quantity and AQ-1.

Quantity is where you scan the barcode of the item and count how many of those items there are. It's fast, but not necessarily accurate. The accuracy issue is because sometimes two items look the same, may even BE the same, but have different barcodes so come up as different in the system. Otherwise it's just miscounting them.

AQ-1 means Auto Quantity 1. Scan the item barcode and it inputs a 1 for the quantity automatically. It's very accurate, as you do have to scan every bar code, but very, very slow. It's best for stores where nearly every item has a different bar code or they're so mixed there's no way to count them as a group.

Most store are a mix of both, but the majority of a store is either one or the other. But when the wrong choice is made, things go downhill quickly.

I have so far avoided naming stores, not out of any desire to not say, but mostly because it wasn't really important. Here it is important, so let me tell you the tale of Bath and Body Works.

You know the store, it's that hole in the wall mall store that sells candles and lotions that only come in like 4 scents, but have 30 different labels for those 4 scents. You've been in one, likely around Christmas. Now when I started, it was owned by Victoria's Secret, and I know you know what that is. Victoria's Secret is a proper AQ-1 store, as you're not going to open a drawer and have 15 of the same bra inside.

So when it came to BBW, they wanted the SAME inventory done. Now it kind of makes sense. The audit process for VS, which I won't go over but know by heart, is what they really wanted, and the stores had about the same amount of product, so that should be an easy fit, and it'll be accurate too!

Except it was miserable. VS needed 20+ people and 6 to 9 hours to complete, sometimes longer. BBWs are NOT as big as even the smallest VS, so now I'm trying to cram in 20 people into a tiny store to scan every item on a shelf that has 50 of 2 different products on the shelf over the course of 8 hours.. No one liked it, and it took forever. Also we made one hell of a mess because, again, we had to reach EVERY barcode.

They would eventually change it from AQ-1 to Quantity, and the results were immediate. That changed it from 20 people taking 8 hours to 5 people doing it in 4 hours. Hell, I had a store with me and the two worse counters in the office, and still got one done in 5 hours.

Understanding how the inventory is supposed to go is the job of the Account Instructions. This represents the agreement between the client and our company on how the inventory is supposed to go. Usually it contains things like the tag ranges to use, how many people should be there, what kind of audit system to use, what the final reports are to give to the store and weird things that might happen. A well written set of instructions can make an inventory go smooth as butter, and once you've done one a few times, you may never look at them again. Something that happened with VS for me after a bit.

Then there was the Apple Store. Yes, I've done the inventory for an Apple Store. Nothing terrible, it's AQ-1 as any high dollar store like that, and aside from the giant wall of aluminum that made it hard for the scanners to communicate with the laptop, it shouldn't be very hard.

And yet, the instructions insisted on having 2 Inventory Supervisors. This is odd because it's not much of a store. So we sit down to do the inventory and everything is going well until it's time for the audits and they require a special report printout, as per the instructions.

The report isn't there.

In fact, NONE of the reports I'm supposed to print are listed in the the program. There's a lot of reports, but not the ones we need. Now the two of us are pretty smart, and know the program pretty well so we can fudge it, but we're still not getting the reports we need.

Eventually, after bashing our heads against it for a bit we figured it out. The reports ARE there, but they don't have the same names as in the instructions. And that's when we realized why there were two supervisors. With the wrong report names, one IS would spend all their time trying to get the correct reports printed, which made Apple think we were all fire stupid, so they figured 2 would fix the problem.

The worst part is the person that wrote those instructions was NOTORIOUS for bad instructions, often leaving very old, out of date information in them literal years after they were no long relevant. And she resisted changing them. She retired a couple years or so before I left, and I do hope the new account manager could fix the mess.

The worst part about the job was giving bad news. Most stores know what they should have in the building. I often ask because it helped me gauge how long the whole thing should take. My experience also let me figure out how close they would be. The goal was to get within their Shrink, the amount of difference between what's on the books vs what's in the store.

Now I am kind of a wizard when it comes to the inventory program and I could, BUT DID NOT, change the numbers in practically any way I wanted. I had a few people ask me to do this and I had to deny them. But it also meant I can see where the numbers are short, and help guide them to the issues or even catch the mistakes before they even got to the store staff. That said, there were more than few occasions when the answer was bad. If it the product isn't there, going over those numbers again and again is NOT going to make that product appear. If it isn't there, it isn't there

One particular store started pretty rough to begin with. It was being sold off as part a merger agreement between two big corporations. The inventory was part of the sale process. It was raining cats and dogs, and the neighborhood was not the greatest. There was a cop car just parked in the parking lot of the minimall this dollar store was in. I arrive a little early, and since it's a local store, I'm waiting for the rest of the crew to arrive. But the store is locked. The store manager hadn't arrived yet to unlock the door. This is a BAD sign.

The store's District Manager arrives before the store manager, but she doesn't have the keys so we have to wait. He does show, not strictly late, iirc (it's been quite a few years), and the crew, as always, trickles in. The store is a mess to being with, but I tag it up and we get started. As we get to the end though, it's clear the numbers aren't looking good.

Dollar stores typically have between $250,000 to $400,000 worth of stuff in them. It varies on location, size of the store, the type of dollar store, etc, etc, but 300k is pretty common. They gave me this number for this store. The dollar value of the store after the inventory was 200k.

$100,000 dollars short. That's, a lot. Typically stores don't want more than 2.5% shrink, so they shouldn't be more than $10,000 short. Yeah, it was bad, very, very bad. There were a few minor corrections that could have been made (there was a stack of foil pans that was counted as one upc when they should have been another), but the DM and her boss (yeah, HER boss came in), said not to bother.

I couldn't, and by rights shouldn't, fix that. As I packed up the SM was sadly flipping through the final reports. He was already going to lose this store, but I wonder if he was going even have a job after that.

There was another time when I had good news. A truck stop we stopped doing after a couple years, and one I sharpened my skills in, hadn't had a good inventory in a long while. We also had issues even getting an inventory going due to crew issues and such. Anyway, for these stores the DM would basically be the contact person for the inventory.

I'm counting the inside of the cooler and the DM comes in and tells me point blank if this inventory is bad, he'll have to fire the store manager. This was the worse thing he could have said to me because I always strive for accuracy, but now a guy's job is on the line. I could not fake it, even though I could. But I could hunt for product.

Which I did. This store had a map that determined where each tag was set to go, and tagged the store accordingly. As we're going through though, I ask about a door near the food places in the truck stop. It didn't have a tag assignment and looked to be part of the food place. Inside was gatoraid, LOTS of gatoraid, amongst other things, all of it belonging to the store.. Tag and count it. I wondered if it had been missed repeatedly because it wasn't on the map.

At the end the numbers came in, and I was able to give the DM the good news. He thanks me, then promptly calls the SM in and in a stern, you're fucked, voice told him the inventory was fine. He would not be fired. The manager LOVED me after that day, and I generally got stuck doing the entire local chain until they switched to doing it themselves.

Next time, I'll get into the last major category why inventories suck. Until then.