#average hermitcraft moment

[evolutiononthebrain]

A harbringer of death, a witch with something wicked inside, and a kidnapped watcher — the perfect combination of siblings, yeah?

Cursed Trio / Cursed Siblings HCs!

- Grian oldest, pearl middle, & Jimmy youngest ?

-> Grian being the older sibling whose supposed to be responsible but is just so not is too funny to pass up

- they don’t have parents, they just spawned one day and then grian created EVO

- Grian is the feral older brother who didn’t know what he was doing so thats why pearl is… like that

-> he got a bit better when jimmy spawned

- they all have pronouns ://

-> Grian = he/they

-> Pearl = She/They

-> Jimmy = ftm He/Him

- the capitalization is on purpose, grian does not care enough about gender to capitalize his pronouns

- WINGS! wings wings wings wings wings win

n e ways: wing headcanons

Grian: Obviously, the rainbow parrot bird wings. we all know where the wings originate from but i’d also like to imagine that, like a male bird, grian is colorful because they were the oldest, the “protector” of his siblings, so he was the brightest and most colorful to distract predators (mobs in this case) from their younger siblings

Pearl: now i haven’t seen many Pearl wing headcanons but i’d like to think that Pearl’s wings are bigass raven wings that she can use to make herself look more intimidating. Also, raven symbolism = every time you see a raven, death is approaching. They would also be easy to conceal under a dark jacket, like the black one they have.

Jimmy: the famed canary wings! canary, obviously referring to “canary in the coal mine.” the yellow to white gradient also looks almost ghostly in sunlight. jimmy is a naturally good singer and very friendly, like canaries often are, but keeping them in cages means there’s a ghost around. too bad he’s usually the ghost that’s around :(

- also i think it’s incredibly funny that, though parrots can grow to be 40 inches, ravens behind at 24-27 inches, and canaries only averaging around 3-5 inches, jimmy is the tallest sibling with pearl being a close second

- jimmy was obsessed with making random animals nests when he was younger:

-> finds a chicken

-> makes it a nest

-> cries when the chicken walks away

- whenever they’re on the same server, grian will just pick jimmy up (cuz tho he is short, their wings are very strong & fcking massive) and throw him like when he was teaching him to fly

- he has attempted this with pearl Once, and never again

- jimmy is the only one who preens his wings on the “regular,” but even then he only preens them like every three months when they are absolutely awful

-> the other two are TERRIBLE about preening

-> they get that hermitcraft hyperfixation that all the hermits get when starting a new build or redstone machine

- all of them are fairly light weight, though all looking like body-builders cuz hollow bird bones

- pearl is so done with her dumb older & younger brothers, at all times

- they will go days without seeing grian, or even weeks without seeing jimmy cuz of the server differences but the moment she sees them she just deflates

- exhausted

- she is very protective tho :) she joined empires to keep jimmy in check and then joined hermitcraft cuz they knew grian needed someone to keep HIM in check

- this was only a few days apart (empires - June 12, 21 / hermitcraft - June 19, 21)

- pearl joined to keep them in check, she failed, they both caused chaos and she joined in

- Pearl = goddess, Grian = watcher, Jimmy = listener

-> they use their abilities to cause mayhem and wreak havoc

- when it was “revealed” that lizzie and jimmy were seablings pearl and grian were jealous that jimmy got to be siblings with somebody cool AGAIN but they were stuck with him

- jimmy was offended they didn’t think he was cool

- both times jimmy has acquired a husband/partner, grian and pearl both had “the talk” with them

-unfortunately, they are simply too goofy to be taken seriously so both scott and tango were unconcerned until pearl’s eyes starting glowing white and grian’s wings were covered in massive purple glowing eyes

- both scott & tango asked jimmy if he could do cool stuff like that after they calmed down

-> he gave a wistful little sigh and said, “no, all i can do is hear down to atoms. not so impressing.”

- much confusion, those days

- feathers:

- jimmy gives feathers out like candy; to his family, his friends, his loves, etc.

- grian only ever gives his feathers out to very close ppl; their siblings and scar & mumbo

- pearl never gives her feathers out; they have a deep seeded fear of her feathers not being pretty enough in comparison to their brother’s bright colorful ones

-> the only time she’s given them is to her brothers when they were like 9

- they love each other !!! oh em gee

[hermitcrossovers]

Watchers have a presence on many servers. Empires? The Fae. Rats or pirates SMP? Humans and mysterious bands of cultists is their power. The federation, the gods of the dream SMP, all answer to the watchers.

One exception, however, is hermitcraft. Too risky, as the server is home to many people with a bone to pick with them, and too many are too powerful.

Which is why, when a disheveled woman with blue wings and a purple shirt appears ranting about another world, and "powerful beings", grian shuddered, a feeling of deja vu washing over him.

They would pay, and this time there would be no retreat

they don't know how she entered hermitcraft, whether it was the federation or her own grief that got her out of the island they had no idea.

her presence was heralded by wailing, the devastating cries of a mother who just lost her son echoing off the spawn lake. it quickly brought any nearby hermits to her location, curious to see where and who the wailing was coming from. notifying xisuma about the new person on the server and messaging grian to come quick when they saw the state of her wings.

xisuma and grian took over the nearest useable house, jevin's, to place her in for the time being, trying to get her to the present. between moments of silent staring off to the distance and loud sobbing, jaiden told the story of how people were placed on an island with no idea how they got there and no way out.

they had found dragon children alone on the island and took it upon themselves to raise them but there was something, the code monsters, who had the ability to turn the day into night that stalked the children from afar and tried to kill them several times.

it was a mistake how her son, bobby, died. the world lagged. everything was either going too fast or too slow. a recipe for disaster.

"bobby begged to fight," jaiden started slowly, "so my partner, roier, who was watching him at the time took bobby to a dungeon. it started off fine. just an average dungeon nothing to worry about. then the lag started getting worse, roier couldn't kill any of the mobs. his hits kept missing them and they killed him leaving bobby alone and vulnerable."

"roier didn't set a spawnpoint or a waystone near the dungeon because why would he? he didn't expect to die to an average dungeon. he ended up at spawn, thousands of blocks away and my little bobby," jaiden stopped to gather her words before continuing, "and my little bobby died alone."

jaiden rambled on about the federation as xisuma and grian exchanged knowing looks over her head. they sounded like watchers.

the hermits have been dormant for a long while focusing on their builds, it was time for them to stretch their legs and show the federation by extension the watchers that their dormancy was not a sign of complacency.

-mod tides

[xoxo-ren-xoxo]

What the Hell is Comms AU?!

Well first of all, Comms AU is a Hermitcraft fic I am writing. If you want to go into it blind, then the link is here!

[also, hey, if you like it, perhaps consider reblogging this post ;) ]

But if you'd like to know a little more before diving into it, I've decided to compile a fun little resource introducing the fic, its format, some of the most basic pieces of lore (so very mild spoilers, but it is stuff you would pick up on by chapter 3 or 4, honestly!) and a few tidbits about the characters. BELOW!

What the hell is Comms AU (For real this time)

I started Comms AU (full name INCOMING MESSAGE - COMM RECORDS) back in the middle of 2023, after reading some really great fics like the From The Archives series. It is a multiverse drama first and foremost, with elements of horror, betrayal, personal agency, and some religious themes [though the latter is mostly aesthetic]. There are also some comedic moments, and some sad moments. There's a lot of moments.

Comms AU follows five versions (universes) of Hermitcraft as they are all just kind of subjected to The Horrors. It is formatted as a series of transcripts recorded from different characters' communicator devices (or comms) which I imagine as sort of like sci-fi wrist watches with touchscreens and buttons. Though each universe could have slightly different models!

Formatting

As I mentioned, the fic is set out like a series of audio transcripts (though I kind of bend the rules to be honest, it can be read as if it is being played back as a recording), so the writing style is more like a script or screenplay than a standard prose piece. Your average chapter may look like this:

GRIAN: I'm saying a line now. SCAR: I'm also saying a line. [square brackets and italics to indicate a non-dialogue sound] GRIAN: Dang what was that?!

I also play around with writing out the communicator's 'screen' prompts such as its logging out message, 'call incoming' functions, etc. These I try to keep consistent between chapters, but I'm pretty sure I lost that consistency in a couple of places. Oops.

You may be wondering how you know which universe a certain scene is taking place in. It's quite simple, really! Each scene starts with a line of text like this:

[COMM RECORD: P#003]

The letter indicates the character whose comm we are listening/reading through (i.e., the perspective) while the number indicates what universe we are in [or what universe that character comes from, anyway...]. So the above example would be Pearl from universe three!

Lore?!

Okay this isn't really 'lore' as that would be total spoilers, but I want to talk about what kind of themes and things come up a lot in the fic - especially in terms of who is 'what'. For example, I've written Xisuma as a voidwalker, a type of end-hybrid which breathes better in thinner oxygen environments.

Scar and Cub are generally vexes, though there are differences between universes that become important later. Grian (at least, the times we see him) is a Watcher, and EvoSMP is canon [to some universes] but I try to explain everything within the fic itself so there shouldn't be too much confusion if you don't know much about all that.

Themes-wise, the fic revolves a lot around conversations and relationships between the characters, obviously. Words are very important, while actions must be left mostly implied through the audio medium. Characters aren't always reliable, and neither is sound. The fic takes a bit of digging and theorising to truly enjoy, but I am slowly revealing more and more as I write, so things will mostly get cleared up!

Also this fic mostly takes place in season 9, and there are references to season 9. There's some reference to season 8 too!

Characters

This is the important bit! I can't write all the hermits, obviously, as that would be too much to manage, so instead lets focus on the names that come up the most often:

Grian, Scar, Cub, Pearl, Xisuma, and Mumbo are probably the most 'recurring' characters, though Etho, Bdubs, and Cleo show up quite a bit especially towards the start.

[I am a Grian girlie and this is obvious from... everything about this fic, but I wouldn't say it is entirely about him! He does show up in most chapters though haha]

Relationships get a little complicated, due to the multiverse stuff, but I will say that there is mumscarian endgame because I love them. The actual 'romantic' side of things aren't that important, though, and most of the other relationships can be read kind of ambiguously. Just check the tags for more info!

It's still gay as hell but the multiverse horrors are more important, to be honest.

Or are they... ?!

YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO READ TO FIND OUT!

[psst, I also did some art, you can find it in my #comms au tag on my blog]

[psst psst, if you ever wanna message me, send an ask, or even make art (!!!!!!) to support this fic PLEASE feel free to do so. I love every comment, every ask, and all the bits of creative work people have made. REBLOG, COMMENT, GO CRAZY, ILY!!!!!]

[mogspawner]

Hallo! Tis I, hit user .mogspawner welcoming you to my fanblog!

I mostly plan to repost/post Minecraft content related to S.O.S Smp and smaller, more indie MCYT series I think you should check out, and why !

The plan is to use a platform to show off content creators who I think dont get a lot of attention and who should.

I am an adult! I'm also in a relationship and an unnamed content creator myself. I identify as gender-fluid to protect my identity both irl and online so any pronouns go.

About Me.

I am your average generic, EVOSmp, YHS, Aphmau, Yogscast raised individual. When it comes to Minecraft servers I am extremely niche, I like pretty much all forms of Minecraft and will give any series a shot. However, I am not very likely to ever join large fandoms I wasn't originally in to start with.

I was into Hermitcraft roughly around season 3-4, starting with Xisuma/Mumbo perspective. My love for the content creators there (Including Bdubs) started in my youth and I'm very proud to have been supported and loved in this community for so long.

The life-series kind of falls in place there too but the biggest thing that was the start of my re-hyperfixation was EmpiresSmp and the introduction of Mythicalsausage. I have been a long since viewer of Lizzie & Joel from their old days on Minecraft and I continue to watch them to this day!

There are also SMP's like Deceit which I will go into in other blogs! So keep an eye out for things you will thank me for!

Kins.

For me, saying I kin so and so is basically affiliating myself with them comfortably. Be it social or just a: "Oh my god that's so me." Other time's its a delulu moment where I genuinely think I am that person due to specific trauma which I wont disclose. I'm not one of those people who will say DNI if doubles because at the end of the day, we are chaos incarnate! Take these as the characters in stories, not the actual people please. These only pertain to MCYT related things!

Highkins: * will add on the more I grow comfy sharing. Bdubs // Mogswamp // Goat!Taneesha // Grian // Stressmonster // LDShadowlady // Rendog *

Lowkins: * will add on the more I grow comfy sharing. Appsro // Nukeri // Impulse // Vikingpilot // Keralis *

Tags.

Hi please see these tags that I will use at random on my account. May add more as time goes on.

;rb / reblogging art, text-posts etc / ;mogspeaks / speaking about the account / ;kinspeaks / usually a kin posting moment / ;shoutoutsundays / a weekly blog post with an smp or series you've probably never heard of for your viewing pleasure. submissions can be sent in via my message box. / ;mogart / gonna post art eventually! doodles, skribbles, who knows! / ;mogedits / self explanatory, making edits of silly little mc peeps / *

Shoutout Sundays.

DeceitSmp - no content warnings needed!

UHC Generations - no content warnings needed!

Your Last Days - gun violence, zombies, loud voices & more.

[sunofaraven]

What inspired Love Death + Grumbot?

Sorry for sitting on this ask for so long! This was a way harder question to answer than I anticipated, and I apologise in advance for the very long post XD

I started working on LD+G back in January 2023, just after the end of the Hermitcraft/Empires crossover event. I had just finished writing Soulbound, my first fic, and I was itching to start another. And... I was missing Mumbo. Grian was missing him too and Emperor Grumbot was ready to destroy a whole universe just because Mumbo wasn't in it; I was defenceless against the "I miss Mumbo" brainrot.

The initial idea for LD+G was more of a gritty, steampunk, two dudes and their cryptic robot son against the world thing. I wanted to write an apocalypse fic (I've actually got several original novels that are apocalypse/dystopian novels--I am only a little addicted to the genre...), and Cub was doing his whole sculk thing on empires, so it seemed as good a cause for an apocalypse as anything else. You can see all this in the very first notes I ever made for the fic:

But, see, I LOVE zombies. I blame The Last of Us. I'd spent 2022 trying to play through the second game and getting frustrated with its cynical take on the world. It just doesn't feel believable to me that humanity would be at each other's throats. Sure, people are scared and impulsive, but it takes a lot for the average human to hurt another. Our strengths lie in our adaptability and how we support each other in times of need!!

Anyway, once I veered away from steampunk and started down the zombie route, a big inspiration for some of the characters was Hybbart's Rancher Apocalypse AU (I blame them entirely for my Ranchers obsession tbh). They also had some pretty fun ideas about the role of sculk in an apocalypse, and since I come from a biology background, the opportunity to have a symbiosis between zombies and sculk was just SO much fun for me.

So then, why did it become a story about grief? Well... I felt pretty trapped in my personal life at the time, so initially LD+G was both a way to process that and some much-needed escapism. I don't remember exactly when or why I decided that Grian was infected, but I do remember writing like I'd been possessed in early 2023. I wrote a whole list of scenes/moments that I wanted it to contain and then the plot just kinda... fell out of me one day.

To be melodramatic about it, I have written a lot of novels in my life, but none that felt so akin to bleeding out on the page as this one did. I needed to write this story, to have a place to channel my emotions as well as my eternal mcyt brainrot. I wasn't mourning a person, exactly, I was mourning my own perceived lack of agency and trying to gather the strength to end a whole chapter of my life and start anew.

So I wrote about love, I wrote about death.

And I wrote about Grumbot.

[rma1031]

Hermit Age: Impulse

This is a post in regards to an AU that I am trying to make that combines Hermitcraft (and any HC-adjacent series) with the universe of Dragon Age. If you haven't seen my plans for this AU, check this out!

This post will start off with my interpretations for of course... the blorbo himself... Impulse!

Appearance

As with the current season of Hermitcraft, Impulse would obviously work well as a dwarf warrior already. Average dwarf height, strong and stout like one as well. Colors of yellow and black apply immediately. Just think of his Minecraft skin and then we make some few alterations to make him fit in with the world of Thedas. He has gold jewelry and piercings as well!

He also has a branding tattoo on his face in the colors of gold and yellow. These tattoos are to represent him as a casteless dwarf.

Origins and History

His origin is going to be a surface dwarf that came from Orzammar. He wasn't a part of the noble caste but he had history with both the warrior and mining castes. He started as a miner and worked well with it until he proved his efficiency with combat to the point he got put there with the warriors. Skilled with mining and proficient with melee combat, he was doing well... Up until the point he felt like Orzammar was chafing under the rule of the Assembly and the King. He got fed up with the royal politics and left for the surface. Though he has become a surface dwarf, he still misses Orzammar though, but he may never see the thaig again.

At this point he is a travelling mercenary, wandering here and there around Thedas, looking for companionship of which he would find eventually with Gem, Pearl, Skizz, and more of their friends.

I'll say though that he was in Orzammar since just after the Fifth Blight but left for the surface a few years later. Has been a surface dwarf for nearly a decade (by the point of Dragon Age Inquisition) and enjoys the mercenary life.

Name

How he got the name Impulse is due to the fact that his parents always called him "impulsive" for his quick actions as well as stubborn attitude. He would never actually reveal his true name to anyone though but he stuck around to be called Impulse by the other dwarves (as well as his companions and party members).

Personality

Impulse is a man of humor and enjoys a good laugh. During fights, he has a certain bloodlust that can intimidate people and oh boy, he will fight. When outside of a fight, he's passive and more docile, becoming a mediating presence. When threatened, he typically isn't aggressive but he will keep caution. He is competitive and loves a good challenge and he can and will challenge other people with what challenges he can make up. Generally a friendly and outgoing man and loves and trusts his companions a lot.

Headstrong and stubborn at certain moments and can act on instinct without thinking about it. If given more time or opportunity, he can think deeper and become more strategic and tactical about any situation.

Equipment and Combat

As for equipment and combat, he wears heavy armor and he definitely has a battle axe. He loves to try and tank for the party but he fails spectacularly (leave it to Skizz, Impy). He is simultaneously strategic and headstrong and he will cleave his way through what enemies are in front of him, be it darkspawn or bandits or creatures. He's there to deal damage but he tends to get a little reckless to the point that Pearl may have to do something to help him out.

Like other dwarves, he has resistance against magic and that can help a lot when he and his companions are fighting a mage or any enemy that can cast spells.

That's it for now! I'll probably do my interpretations of Gem next or Skizz or Pearl and then I'll eventually make some history of their mercenary band or party and probably even a fic!

If you need to know more about the Dragon Age universe, the wiki for it is a big boon.

[siriannatan]

Hermit High Volleyball Club

I might have written some notes on that Hermitcraft Haikyuu AU...

Ren - the club advisor and most of the member's English teacher, would advise drama club but they already had an advisor,

Doc - the coach, Ren's boyfriend, former Olympic level player, has three Olympic medals, "Stress's older brother actually...)

(numbers might change, all my volleyball knowledge comes from Haikyuu manga and anime which I haven't interacted with for ages )

#1 Xisuma - team captain, wing spiker, opposite hitter, an ocean of peace hiding a lot of sass and chaos

#2 Cub - vice-captain, Scar control, setter, will blackmail you into doing stuff for him, Scar is his only weakness,

#3 Scar - ace, wing spiker, opposite hitter, chaos causer, very loud, always somewhere near Cub

#4 Bdouble O. - libero, definitely average height, will get that growth spurt soon, 'shut up Keralis, it's coming,'

#5 Iskall - wing spiker, opposite hitter, second best spiker after Scar, just a lot less loud,

#6 Hypno - middle blocker, lanky bastard, (basically Tsukishima if you've seen anything Haikyuu)

#7 Impulse - middle blocker, will smack you if you act out of line,

#8 Etho - pinch server and backup setter, does not feel like putting a lot of effort in but is quite good at serving so Doc has him focusing on that

False & Stress - managers, secretly dating, have a bet going on who will figure it out first. Cub already knows but is waiting for the best moment to say it

Mumbo & Grian - in the club bcs clubs they actually wanted to join were full, Xisuma let them stay in the volleyball club after Scar asked him. Mumbo has a massive and obvious crush on Iskall who just happens to be dense as a rock. X instantly figured out Grian likes him but didn't say anything.

Track & Field squad:

Keralis - Bdouble's boyfriend, pick him up after practice since both clubs have a similar schedule - totally not on purpose on Ren's part

Tango - Impulse's boyfriend, could do well in volleyball but he likes running around more

Zedaph - Impulse and Tango's 'third-wheel', might have a small crush on Wels - the track team's star runner which his friends make fun of all the time

Wels - X's best friend, silent, diligent star student, very popular

Literature Club:

Jevin and XB - Hypno's boyfriends, often hang out around VBC's practice while waiting for him,

Pearl - Grian's twin sister, at the brink of shoving Grian and X into a closet

Gem - Pearl's best friend, might have a massive crush on her,

'Chess Club' (not really)

Joe and Cleo - only two members of the club, their advisor agreed to oversee the club to have an excuse to not oversee any actual club, study buddies with X and Wells. Cleo has a weird rivalry with Jevin

Art Club

Beef - Etho's boyfriend, sometimes waits for him during VBC's practice time

The club has a massive sponsorship from Giga Corp from day one pretty much because Ren talked at home about how he's overseeing a sports club now.

I might have considered making Cleo track club's advisor and Joe the principal but making them just bum around the school and be an after classes nuisance was more fun.

[boogey-blockers]

had my first Fandom Elder™ moment today and now I'm feeling very self conscious 😬

also would anyone be interested in a discord server for people who are 18+, mainly about Hermitcraft, QSMP, Empires and Traffic series? There wouldn't be any 18+ content btw, I mean the people in the server would be 18+ years old, other than that it would be your average mcyt discord

[k-asternix]

ahh hiii

can you write a little watcher grian drabble/oneshot about how the watchers keep tormenting him and sending him nightmares about s@m and also about how he thinks they are going to try to invade/destroy hermitcraft soon and in the end he goes to scar for comfort because desertduo my beloveds

Your wish is my command! Thank you very much for this prompt! I had a blast writing it!

Please note: This fic has been cross posted onto AO3

-

Grian is curled into a ball on the foot of his bed. His head is tilted upwards, he tries to keep his focus on the glittering night sky above him.

It's been…close to five days since he last had a proper night's rest. He knows he's going to have to fall asleep eventually. And it's going to be sooner rather than later if the foggy feeling in his head is anything to go by.

Grian digs his nails into his skin. A final, ditch effort to keep himself conscious.

It doesn't work.

Grian is running down the corridor of his old school. Sam is behind him. Sam has a knife.

Grian is losing air faster than he's able to regain it. His chest hurts. Badly. Grian keeps running, heaving with every breath.

Pain burns through Grian's body with each step.

His legs are going to give out on him. It's not a matter of if, it's a matter of when.

The exit is so close, Grian can see it, it's right there. All he needs to do is reach the door—

Black spots fill his vision. He can't see, he can't move his legs. Sam is still behind him. His feet catch on themselves and Grian's body slams violently to the ground.

Sam's footsteps grow closer. Grian can't move. He can't breathe. His vision is still clouded with black spots. Grian writhes around, like a fly that's been caught in a spider web.

"You put up quite the fight, Gree-on."

Sam presses the tip of his knife to Grian's back. He yelps.

Sam laughs, his voice warps into something else, something deep and sadistic until it hardly sounds like Sam's voice at all "Did you really think you could escape? That's funny. You'll never escape."

Grian jolts awake. It's still dark out. Sam's words echo in his mind 'You'll never escape'. His whole body aches.

Only those weren't Sam's words, were they? Those words were fighting words, a threat that has yet to be acted on. A promise to Grian that nothing is ever over. Those words came from someone else. They came from the watchers.

The average person might not know how to tell the difference between a regular nightmare and a watcher-induced nightmare. Grian has become somewhat of an expert at it.

That one was watcher-induced. No doubt about it. He can practically taste their lingering aura.

It's been happening so often lately—they keep trying to send him messages. It's terrifying. No doubt they have some kind of plan.

The fact that he's been getting more and more of these dreams mean that they must want to take him again, they must be waiting to pounce, ready to invade Hermitcraft at a moment's notice.

Grian doesn't want to go back. He can't go back. He stands. His legs seem to move on their own, before his brain has the chance to think. He wanders, directionless, until he finds himself in Scarland. Grian hadn't consciously been seeking out the man but now that he's here, he really hopes to find Scar. He keeps waking, down main street.

"Scar!" He calls, between panicked breaths.

"Grian?" A tired voice answers back.

Grian turns. He spots Scar sitting on a nearby bench. Scar pats the spot next to him, inviting Grian to join him. Grian does.

"What are you doing wandering around so late?" Scar asks, clearly not comprehending the gravity of the situation.

"The watchers are coming back. They want to invade Hermitcraft—they keep sending me nightmares to warn me. Scar, we aren't safe!"

Scar is quiet for a moment. Then he speaks, his tone soft and cautious as if he were soothing a scared animal. Grian feels a bit like a scared animal.

"Are you sure that's true? Xisuma has a pretty good barrier set up around the server."

"But I saw them in my dreams! I felt their essence!"

"Hm. Grian I have a question."

"Yeah?"

"When did you join Hermitcraft?"

"Season six."

"And what season are we on now?"

"Season nine."

"So, don't you think that if the watchers were planning to invade Hermitcraft they would have done it already? Why would they waste their time taunting you about it? If they were going to invade wouldn't they just… do it?"

Grian sighs, long and hard. It isn't often that Scar acts as the voice of reason between the two of them but he's right in this case. The only way the watchers can hurt Grian is if Grian allows himself to be scared by them. They'll never be able to invade the server.

Grian wraps his arms around Scar, his breathing slows. He'll be okay, he just needed a reminder.

"Thanks Scar."

"Anytime, my friend!" Scar grins, a mischievous glint in his eyes "Now, that'll be ten diamonds!"

"Scar!" Grian shouts, barely holding back laughter.

[bug-crimes]

Rating Hermitcraft intros based on my synesthesia

aka it's 2am and I'm in hell, this is only gonna include the hermits that have actual Consistent Intros to their hermitcraft videos and also has absolutely nothing to do with how much I actually like their videos or even their voice!! there isn't a single hermit whose voice I don't enjoy in some form but I have opinions about their intros apparently so here we go,

(also I specifically have sound-texture synesthesia, sounds will have different textures associated with them, which aren't always.. real textures? in which case I might get a little abstract with feelings idk I apologize in advance)

cub: solid like. 5/10? smack in the middle pretty much, like super smooth paper, the kind that pen doesn't dry well on

doc: 9/10 his intro is. ough. if you included the goat tapes in his rating?? infinity/10 but this is just about his voice s o. his intro is like. being able to pick up a piece of storm cloud and squeeze it... a lil spark, a lot of rumbling fluff, very very nice to feel

etho: 7/10? I love listening to his voice in General but his intro doesn't have the Best Feelings of his voice, it's like. something almost crunchy that crumbles when you squeeze it

false: 8/10!! it is So Nice!!! a lil bouncy bouncy in your chest kinda like driving on a hilly road!! makes me happy

gem: solid like. 4.5/10?? feels like Too Much Grass. no I don't know what the fuck that means please don't ask (I love her voice in general tho this is purely just the intro sjjfjd)

scar: one that rly surprises me bc I love watching him but scars intro is only like. a 2/10 at best?? esp the hermits and crafting part feels a little like rubbing styrofoam together but it's Fine it's worth it for scar content beloved

grian: 5/10, middle of the road like cub! kinda like a freshly baked sheet of cake c:

hypno: 4/10? it's like. accidentally putting too much honey on crunchy bread in a way that's good when u want honey but not as fun when u don't

jevin: 8/10!!!! love!!!! it's like. you know those gifs of people jiggling gelatin shaped like animals. it's like those, esp if they're shiny

impulse: 6/10, I do enjoy but it is Pretty Average djjfd he's just!! sorta like an old blanket that is pretty worn but feels so familiar and nice anyways, it's Good

iskall: hrmgh. this is a weird one bc objectively I love his intro. but synesthesia disagrees and says it's a 3/10 at Best, like wet carrot peels?? I don't even know man I'm upset at myself for that one

joe: 8/10! it's like house siding! somehow this is a good thing!

keralis: yes/10 he just has a Good Voice it's So Good it's like rabbit fur

pearl: 10/10 brain happy moments,,, it's just smooth water!! like river water I think where it doesn't quite feel Real but it pulls a little and is just the right amount of cool

ren: 6.5/10? it's very fun skfjd he's like what I imagine it would feel like to smash a tiny round lightbulb mixed with bouncy ball vibes

stress: 7/10! first thought was like the handle of a pestle but honestly just any vaguely smooth Holdable Thing would probably work too, big emphasis on Holdable her intro is holdable

tfc: 7.5/10!! it's like. the stone of a firepit still warm from a fire,,, just really good vibes

beef: 9/10!!!! his intro is like a merengue it's so Light and Melts <3

wels: 10/10 makes me wanna cry happy tears sometimes it just hits So Good it's like when u get that itch u couldn't scratch

xb: 9999/10 literally I could just listen to his intro on repeat for hours it's s o good I just want to bury my hands in it

xisuma: 6/10 just full of scrungle. like a floppy ferret. or a frisbee??

zedaph: solid 8/10! a little bit like trying to hold fireworks, it always makes me happy :D

cleo: 9/10! I love the way she says hermitcraft it's just Smooth and Concave and feels like you can slide down her words it's v v good,,

[nerdyenby]

I posted 179 times in 2022

That's 179 more posts than 2021!

105 posts created (59%)

74 posts reblogged (41%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@shelbys-here

@destinysbounty

@funnytwittertweets

@strikerofdeath0

@mysharona1987

I tagged 173 of my posts in 2022

Only 3% of my posts had no tags

#ninjago - 49 posts

#lego ninjago - 48 posts

#ranboo - 20 posts

#mc championship - 18 posts

#lgbtqia - 16 posts

#mcyt - 16 posts

#lgbtq - 16 posts

#mcc - 16 posts

#jay ninjago - 16 posts

#zane ninjago - 15 posts

Longest Tag: 106 characters

#timeline character motivation and just the logistics of this horro comedy being canon just doesn’t compute

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Empires: haha worldbuilding

Hermits: I will build your entire freaking world /th

234 notes - Posted October 28, 2022

#4

INTERNET!!! LOOK AT MY PRETTY GRAPH (it’s a venn diagram but whatever)

It’s all the MCC participants (on the wiki as having participated in at least two events) that are on SMPs! I don’t know whether to thank Scott for bringing together such a wide group of people or to cuss him out for making this diagram so hard to put together /lh.

While we’re here, I also looked at the average age and the percent of LGBTQIA+ people on each server (from this sample).

Average age:

Origins- 22.6

Dream SMP- 23.08

X Life- 23.25

Empires- 27.14

Life Series- 30.88

Hermitcraft- 32.00

Percent LGBTQ:

Hermitcraft- 14.29%

Life Series- 25%

X Life- 28.57%

Dream SMP- 34.62%

Empires- 42.86%

Origins- 44.44%

Keep in mind this data may not be entirely accurate as I did it all in one sitting, without double checking, and using wikis as the primary source.

252 notes - Posted August 25, 2022

#3

YOU KNOW WHAT?! IM GONNA TALK ABOUT IT! I’M GONNA TALK ABOUT HOW INSTANTLY KLAUS AND SPARROW!BEN LATCHED ONTO EACH OTHET AND WHY

Ben was Klaus’s only constant for decades. They bickered and fought constantly but they’re brothers, they love each other. When Ben died, Klaus was relieved that Ben was finally able to move on and find peace, but he still missed him, it’s clear as day in how he regards Sparrow!Ben when they first meet.

However, that’s all fairly surface level, stated clearly in the show itself. What’s less evident is that Ben has never had a friend before. I believe he says this, but I haven’t seen anyone truly pick it apart. His family was even faker than the Umbrellas’. They got along better, but they were more business partners than anything else. They spent their whole lives together, but barely got to know each other because their whole life is a publicity stunt. They’re under constant watch and judgement not just from their dad, but from the whole city and even each other. They worked so hard to be good at their jobs that they never were allowed to figure out who they were outside of them, even to each other. Ben isn’t deeply affected by losing his siblings because he doesn’t know how to mourn a relationship that lacked any authenticity. They worked together to be the perfect unit, so anything that didn’t fit into that image was hidden away, especially from the others because they *will* use that against you. And they spent every moment together, so none of them were ever allowed to be anything less than what was expected of them. Ben never got the opportunity to find out who he was outside of the guy on the billboards.

Then in walks Klaus, someone who knows Ben better than he knows himself. He knows the Ben that was allowed to be real, the Ben that was allowed to experience emotions other than stoicism and anger, the Ben that learned unshielded love through constant companionship with Klaus. Sparrow!Ben was never given the chance to become that, but seeing the absolute mess that is the Umbrellas, he finds that he wants it. He wants to be a mess, to be allowed to feel, to be accepted even when you screw up. He doesn’t know how to be the version of himself that earned that type of love, but then Klaus tells him that being real was what made Ben so easy to love.

And then they’re hanging off of each other the rest of the night. Don’t you dare make it weird (glares at Netflix), these losers are touch deprived. They’re clingy as hell in the most platonic way possible because do you think Sparrow!Ben has ever received any sort of physical affection? How many years has Klaus been metaphorically leaning on Ben before he finally learned to do so literally, only to lose him almost instantly? They each so desperately need the support the other is longing to give, okay?! They just want hugs, your honor.

333 notes - Posted July 25, 2022

#2

Things I know would have Techno doing his stupid little high pitched cackle /affectionate

See the full post

468 notes - Posted July 2, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Aqua is so funny because they’re like “I feel like I went to school with you” after like game two and by game four Purpled literally says “We’re family, I’ll protect you guys” like what 😭 this is the most unexpected found family ever. Their vibes are: seniors in high school being paired up for a group project when they’ve barely spoken but always wanted to be friends and now they’re emotionally attached

798 notes - Posted September 24, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[headbucket]

Ask game answers nobody asked for

Hermitcraft ask game by @cryptid-crw

🐶 What hermits do you watch?

Lots! Bdubs, Cub, Etho, False, Gem, Grian, Impulse, Iskall, Keralis, Mumbo, Pearl, Ren, Scar, Tango, Beef, xB, Zedaph, and Cleo.

🐱 Who was your first hermit?

This gets a little complicated but... as a hermit, Grian. As just a MCYT, Bdubs.

🐰 Who is your favourite hermit?

This is a hard question but... I have to say Etho (yes I admit it I'm an Ethogirl)

🐼 Who is one hermit you haven't watched yet but want to?

Joe - everything I see about him is so unique and hilarious but so far I haven't really gotten into his videos. Maybe someday, though!

🐸 What year did you start watching hermitcraft?

Okay, let's do the story now. In early 2019 I was watching some of Grian's building videos and stumbled onto his Hermitcraft series, which I started watching, got hooked on, and gradually started watching more and more hermits. I was really excited when Bdubs came back towards the end of S6 because I had watched him way back in Attack of the B-Team days, and at some point I learned that he had been in S5 so I went back and watched that. The videos were so familiar and I realized I had seen them before... I had watched his S5... so basically I was watching Hermitcraft before I knew it was Hermitcraft! I only watched Bdubs then, though, and had no idea what was going on on the rest of the server so I consider S6 to be when I started watching Hermitcraft.

🐵 What season did you watch first?

Season 6! I watched Grian's series from the beginning and caught up to episodes being currently released right around the time of the Civil War.

🐧 What is your favourite season?

Season 7! The Head Games, Hermit challenges, HWF, the Button, Boomers, Shade-E-E's, the mayoral race, Turf War, Decked Out, the Upside Down, HCBBS, Sewer Cats, Aque Town... so much good stuff!

🐝 What is your favourite hermitcraft moment?

Man, it's hard to choose, but I think my favorite moment(s) were Etho's meetings with Llama Dad in S7. They were so funny and the Etho and Beef vibes are impeccable.

🦝 Do you watch any streams?

A few! Mostly I watch Tango's Phasmo and stabby streams, and MCC (usually False).

🍂 How many hermits are you subscribed to on YouTube?

18 (70% of them!)

🍄 Do you only watch hermitcraft content, or do you watch their other videos too?

I watch other videos too! I watch just about all the videos of the hermits I'm subscribed to: Traffic series, Empires, Building with Bdoubleo, Naked and Scared, and Etho's singleplayer and modded series are all amazing!

🌻 Are you also in the life series fandom?

You bet! All three of them have been some of my favorite series ever.

🌕 What is your favourite hermitcraft build?

Scar's magical village in S7: the amount of detail was incredible and it truly felt magical. Plus it was only his starter base?!

🌗 Do you have a favourite quote/favourite quotes?

A few of my favorites: "Oh, you declared war! Oh perfect, wonderful - dude, your mayorship is working out fantastic! We've declared war!" -Bdubs, S7. "HCBBS, which I assume stands for How Can Butter Be Solid? Yes, I too ask that question, great almighty countdown clock." -Cub, S7. "In terms of salvation, Cleo, is this one of those six to eight weeks for deliverance deals?" -Joe, S8.

🌑 Do you have a favourite shop?

Hmmm... probably Scar's chest monster shop in S7.

🌙 If you could join hermitcraft, would you?

No, I would be too scared! I'm a perfectly average Minecraft player and I would be very intimidated by all the talented Hermits.

🪐 If you joined hermitcraft, who would you team with?

I would love to team with Pearl! She could teach me some building skills and we could do some shenanigans together, plus she seems super nice.

💫 Have you met any hermits?

Nope

⭐️ If you could meet your favourite hermit, what would you say to them? / If you've met your favourite hermit, what did you say?

"I... ah... thank you!" (I'm not sure I could say much more than that honestly)

🌟 Have you been to any conventions?

Nope

✨ Do you have any merch?

Yes! I have a Gem hoodie and a Doc beanie (both very comfy)

🌈 Are you immune to the good times? (no, no you are not)

Never.

[polaritiesoop]

Rewatching Hermitcraft 6, and I've reached the beautiful civil war arc. But I also realized that grian has some REALLY weird fans that are such a loud minority. Why is it anytime Grian is playfully at "odds" with another hermit or something shenanigans against Grian that there are negative comments toward said hermit? like why are there some people acting threatened by it?

Long Rant AHEAD

I find it concerning it happened even earlier in season 6. I forgot which hermit, or what it was about but I'm pretty sure a hermit was getting HATE for a HARMLESS PRANK in the famous block GAME MINECRAFT. Ridiculous, ain't it? seeing those strings of words in one. Why on God's green earth does Grian have such baby fans? I thought we were pretty chill but I guess it's only here on tumblr and twitter. I don't know if reddit has been kind to Grian and other hermits, I wouldn't assume they weren't over there considering that Grian likes to hang around there more than twitter. I guess it is most on Youtube comments. This does not only happen in season 6, but I bet also seasons 7, 8, 9 , and life series too, my memory's a bit blurry on the details. And even in the current season?! tf you mean people are hating on Xisuma for banning Grian AS A JOKE ? like why does Grian need to constantly remind people when anything playful "conflict" in the server happens that they are friends? That it is all in good fun? I'm glad though Grian has a strong friendship with the hermits, or the hermits are in good bases in general.

I don't know, its sad and frustrating to see unnecessary negative on what is considered one of the wholesome and fun minecraft smps. Hermitcraft is such a genuine server that I bet feels like home to the hermits, that it's more than simply a gaming server or a series to make tens of Yt videos out of. Same goes with the life series, as a little side smp to get some really chaotic fun, short but effective in giving such good entertainment (for both creators and fans) and compelling stories that fans are able to weave perfectly through fanfiction, art and other creative media, or just simple online discussions. But the fun gets a little spoiled by fans that don't know how to have fun. This is not covering yet how the fandom recently feels too ....idk the right word, charged??? Surely, I am not the only one to notice. I see it on twitter. Why are some people being icky? like stop. I'm getting a deja vu here, from experiences on an adjacent fandom that is crumbling (coughs dream smp).

I don't know why I am ranting. Home girl rewatched hermitcraft 6 and suddenly I am ranting out my personal frustrations LOL. Trying not to get TOO stressed out. I got recently released from college kerfuckle (I make it sound like a mental facility...). I guess Grian's personal note on his recent video about uploading schedule triggered it. I feel kinda bad that he felt pressured to produce videos, as opposed to, yknow, at his own convenience at his own time at his own mood? I hope I am not sounding like those peeps that loves to baby content creators. an adult too, older than an average young fan, in the words of others "a man with dick and balls"! All I can say for Grian's fan (or hermitcraft fans in general) being weird is uhhh touch grass. smell the flowers. go outside. talk to your friends. go watch or rewatch your favorite series. watch long video youtube essays of random topics. look at trees. they are great and beautiful. look at the sky observe its hues. pet a cat. a dog. ur pet salamander or snake or ferret or whatever. animal. think about your crush. or partner. or a friend you really love. or family member you really trust with your life

Its simple really! Take time to reflect on your thoughts. Don't be so fucking mean we have enough mean people in this earth. Don't be like them. The world is a cruel place at the moment, so why not make it better for everyone else? I am not saying to be only kind towards Grian or other content creators or people in this fandom. In general. At the same time, you're being kind to yourself. Not to dwell too much negative in yourself.

This kinda spiral into something else, but honestly i don't care. I got it out of my system. I hope i get to enjoy summer time drawing and writing.

[kannaar]

This is hardly unique but I also just want to share with someone

My thoughts on Hermitcraft TCG game balance, and potential changes Beef could make to cards (or we could with mods in the online version?):

Rare Mumbo does 150 average damage per turn with little setup, which is way too strong. Reducing his damage doubling to only affecting his coin flip damage (160->120, 240->200) reduces his average damage per turn to 120 with an AFK Prankster present, which is still very strong but at least puts him more in line with other powerful cards.

Rare Joe averages 135 damage per turn (counting skips as continuing the same turn) if you can use Time Skip consecutively for the damage. Making Time Skip entirely non-consecutive and requiring Grow Hills after a successful skip reduces average damage to 115, again more in-line with others

Stress is scary first/second turn, but that's not the problem (it generally has counterplays, like "having more hermits"). The problem is that she's still a menace in longer games, since entirely taking down a 300-health hermit with a 10-health hermit is a bit too strong. Having her do her entire health as an attack that ignores attached effects (including armour and totems) is an alternative that puts her on a timer from the moment she's on the field, and hard-kills Stress+totem. It would also make Golden Apple into a situational +100 damage card, which is funny to me.

Other hermits are fine, though a lot of commons just don't stand out - the perils of rolling numbers randomly, I suppose.

(Effects under the cut)

A lot of the effects are not very well balanced, more so than the hermits.

Fortunately, since effects can be included in any deck, having strong effects is fine. The problem is that some of them are far too weak.

Shield, gold armour, iron sword, diamond sword... while in the online format these are hardly worth it, I understand why Beef made them for Hermitcraft. It still would be nice for them to have some niche still. Same with Water/Lava - if you know your opponent, they might be worth bringing.

Bed is a bit too weak imo - golden apple and glock (I meant Clock, but I suppose a glock card would also be strong) both seem better - but it mimics Shreep so I can understand it.

Loyalty and Mending are both terrible, and neither is useful compared to Chest. Loyalty could maybe be a good card if it allowed you to pick an item off one of your hermits and put it in your hand - at least then it'd have a niche. Mending, if it was just a rare, and it put the card into your hand instead of your deck, would at least compete with Chest (though that's still a niche case)

Wolf and Thorns could do with +10 damage each to mirror iron/diamond armour, they're not as strong as armour right now.

Axe could be buffed to allow proper armour-piercing for a full attack, as it is now there's little reason to pick it over crossbow (though both are only minor upgrades over diamond sword anyway)

Emerald should be usable with no attached effects - since we don't have any negative attachable effects it's always weaker than Vanishing (and more situational)

Invisibility doesn't need the debuff, it just needs to not be compatible with other special effects from moves. It's one-time-use Aussie Ping, if that broke it then Pearl is already broken and I think she’s only on the verge of it.

If there are any cards that should be added, it's some sort of card to force your opponent to flip tails. Either one-time-use (affecting the next coin flip) or as a UR attached effect that's active if it's on the active hermit. It has easy counterplay, nerfs some of the most broken hermits (Mumbo, Joe, Pearl), and indirectly buffs setup decks like Wels/RCleo, Boomers, or NHO, since they don't rely on coin flips.

Also dual-type items. Dual-type items would be really fun to play with.

[sleepless-in-southlands]

there is nothing to forgive

Ao3

Chapter twelve of This Predacious Song, my multidimensional big bang fic! It’s a Mumbo-centric Hermitcraft/Last Life fic heavily featuring violence, blood, trauma, and horror-like themes. It is hurt/comfort with a happy ending. Please follow the embedded title link or the ao3 link for a complete summary and list of warnings for the story as a whole

Chapter twelve’s title from Jane Hirshfield’s “It Was Like This: You Were Happy”

~

    Mumbo wasn’t sure how long it took for his sense of time to return, for obvious reasons. Too long, he knew that, but that wasn’t much to work off of. Where he was, too, was something he couldn’t answer. He knew where he should be, but Mumbo had the sneaking suspicion that he was no longer there.

    The last thing Mumbo could remember before he lost track of everything was fighting, which didn’t narrow anything down. Killed by a trident through the chest? Not as common as a sword, or an arrow, but not unheard of in the slightest.

    No, the death was average. The pain that followed…

    Well. It didn’t last forever. Mumbo would take the silver lining.

    The first few flashes of consciousness he got were unhelpful in figuring anything out. A bed underneath him, voices that sounded familiar conversing nearby, something soft being wrapped around his limbs. The indescribable pain of his earlier death was completely gone, and even his ever-present aches seemed dulled.

    It was during his third or fourth half-awake moment that Mumbo realized he was back in Hermitcraft, still unable to understand the words being spoken over his head but able to identify them as belonging to various hermits. The chances of him having somehow ended up back in Hermitcraft without any of them realizing what he had been up to in recent months were slim, but as Mumbo fell back asleep, he hoped they weren’t impossible.

    In his next stint of awareness, he was just able to make out two hermits- Impulse and Tango?- discussing something that had to do with ‘death games’ and ‘how many months’.

    Mumbo forced his eyes open, only managing to get them to slits. He had meant to see where Impulse and Tango were in relation to him, to see if watching them talk might help him understand them better. But neither of them were anywhere to be seen, the space between Mumbo hearing them and opening his eyes longer than he had thought.

    Instead, there was Grian and Scar, only a few blocks away from Mumbo. While Grian leaned against the wall closest to him, Scar was seated in his wheelchair. They were in the middle of a quiet conversation, voices low enough Mumbo had to strain before he could make out what they were saying.     “-eeding, Grian, and I was just standing there, making stupid deals-”

    “Your deals aren’t stupid.”

    “That’s not the point I’m trying to make here.”

    “You didn’t know, Scar. No one did. No matter how much we wish we had.”

    “Mumbo didn’t know anything either, when we came back! No one knew anything after Third Life! But he was still actually there for us! And then he needs us, he needs us and we- we just-”

    Scar doubled over, pressing a hand to his face, but he wasn’t fast enough to stop Mumbo from glimpsing the way the light caught on something moving rapidly from his eyes to the ground. Tears.

    Mumbo barely had a chance to consider what he saw before Grian was lowering himself to be roughly on Scar’s level. With the change in angle, it was easier for Mumbo to see the expression on his face, see the guilt etched into every line and the wet trails gracing his own cheeks.

    “You and I both know Mumbo Jumbo is a force to be reckoned with.” Grian said, Mumbo’s full player name sounding weird coming from him with no hint of joke or amusement. “Once he puts his mind to something, for better or for worse, there’s no stopping him.”

    “We could have tried.”

    “We did try, just… not hard enough.” Grian said the words slowly, as if they pained him to speak out loud, closing his eyes before he continued, “And that’s our fault. That’s all of Hermitcraft’s fault. But we have a second chance now. And we’re going to get it right this time.”

    “We will.” Scar agreed, even though neither of them looked satisfied with that.

    The phrase ‘too little, too late’ popped up in Mumbo’s mind unbidden, and he quickly chased it out. If anything, his servermates had been ‘too much, too soon’. They hadn’t done anything wrong. If it weren’t for the fact that Mumbo was only barely holding his eyes open, he would have told them so right then.

    “What do you think he thought? When he first realized he was still bleeding outside of the LL server?”

    The amount of time it took for Grian to answer Scar’s question stretched out long enough Mumbo nearly thought he had fallen back asleep and completely missed the response. And though he hadn’t, he was still fading, strength running out with nothing to distract him.

    “He thought he was a monster.” Grian finally replied, sounding as certain as if he was telling Scar that redstone was red; sounding as certain as if he had personal experience.

    He began to say more, but Mumbo couldn’t hear any of it, eyes slipping back shut with those specific six words swirling through his head.

    Coming to awareness for the who-knows-how-many-th time, Mumbo found himself once again catching the second half of some players’ talking.

    “-and then, me and Martyn, we kinda just started avoiding our servers.” It was Ren speaking, not sounding nearly as upbeat as he naturally did. “It was nice for it to be just the two of us, at first. We could talk about things or we could distract ourselves or whatever else we wanted. It really helped us, and I thought… I thought it might be helping you too.”

    Mumbo didn’t need to exert quite as much effort opening his eyes this time, trying to find the person Ren was speaking to. But there was no one else in the room, as far as he could tilt his head; just Ren, sitting right next to Mumbo’s bed, looking down as though he were speaking to a spot on the floor.

    “Everyone had their own ideas on where you were going when you started leaving the server so often. Mine was that you were meeting up with non-hermit lifers, or someone else you thought could help you more than us. It made perfect sense to me at the time. I had done it, hadn’t I? But now, looking back… I should’ve known there was nothing good about what was happening with you.

    “So I want to say I’m sorry, Mumbo, for letting things get this bad. I don’t think anyone could have stopped you, but I could have noticed sooner. And I didn’t.”

    Ren… was talking to Mumbo. Ren was apologizing to Mumbo. For- what? Not noticing what Mumbo went to such lengths to hide? Not realizing what sort of person his servermate was sooner?

    As if that was his fault. As if he needed to apologize to Mumbo for it.

    Again, Mumbo went to put his thoughts into words and, again, was stopped. This time due to the fact that, caught up in what Ren had said, he hadn’t realized Ren had turned his head to look at Mumbo. He did notice, for the brief second he had, that Ren had taken his sunglasses off, the look in his eyes before surprise took over distant and heavy.

    And then his shades were back on, his expression still giving away his shock despite them. “Mumbo? You’re awake?”

    “Er, yes, I suppose I am.” Mumbo fumbled through as a response, coughing as his voice seemed to catch on every other word. Speaking had helpfully reminded his body he hadn’t used his throat for anything more strenuous than breathing for Nether knew how long, leaving it scratchy and dry.

    Ren quickly retrieved a bottle of water from his inventory and passed it to Mumbo, pressing it directly into his hand. He hesitated a moment before asking, “Do you need help drinking that?”

    Mumbo shook his head. How much effort could it take to prop himself up a bit and raise his hand to his mouth?

    …A lot, apparently, if the way shifting onto one arm alone nearly had Mumbo passing out was anything to go by. Not that he was going to ask for help now. Not from Ren, who was looking at Mumbo in a way he couldn’t put a name too without seeing his eyes but had a feeling he didn’t like. Not from any of the hermits, who shouldn’t be offering him any help at all.

    The numb pains across his body that Mumbo was more than familiar with by then flared as he pushed himself up enough he wouldn’t choke on the water, the ones stretching across his arms and hidden by the light sleeping-wear shirt someone had changed him into protesting the loudest. Despite the strain, they still didn’t hurt as much as Mumbo knew they normally did. Was he too tired to fully process the pain?

    Mumbo only managed a few sips of the water before he had to drop back to the bed, unable to keep his body up. He let Ren take the water bottle back from him, placing it on the floor next to the bed. Over-exerted after a half minute’s worth of slight movement… Mumbo was fairly certain that wasn’t right.

    “What happened?” Mumbo asked Ren, both happy to find he could say the words without immediately breaking into coughs and greatly disappointed to find his voice was quieter, weaker.

    “What do you remember?”

    Something seeping into his lungs, choking him, slinking through his veins and tearing through his flesh as it went, sticking torches against the walls of his brain and leaving end crystals digging dangerous points into his heart- one beat too loud and it would be all over, one beat too many and there would be no coming back, one beat, one beat, every half second passing Schrödinger’s cat, one alive, one dead, one more beat and it would all be-

    “Dying.” Mumbo said the word stiffly.

    Ren’s sunglasses couldn’t hide the way he looked at Mumbo. “You had a respawn error, in a- a different server. Xisuma brought you back and fixed the problem, but that was a few days ago. He said it might take a while for you to fully recover.”

    Mumbo nodded. Respawn error explained why being dead had felt so wrong, why it had lasted longer than he knew it should even without having a way to track the time. It also explained how he had ended up back on Hermitcraft.

    And how the hermits had figured out what he had been up to.

    But not where his heartbeat had gone, Mumbo realizing in the recall of his painful limbo that he could no longer hear it. He tried pressing a hand to his chest, but he couldn’t feel his heart either, nor could he find the gaping hole that it surely would have left behind if it had been removed.

    Mumbo let the hand fall back to his side. Surely there was an explanation. He did his best to ignore his rising panic at the increasingly obvious silence from something that had always been so consistently loud.

    “He also realized you… had a lot of glitch injuries.” Ren said after a long moment, no longer looking at Mumbo’s face. “He wants you to be back at full strength before he fixes them too, so for now we’ve just, uh, wrapped them up a bit.”

    Mumbo jumped on the chance for distraction, rolling one of his sleeves down to see what Ren was talking about. Soft white cloth had been pulled around his wrist, covering a small cut that had nearly taken his hand off when he first got it. The wrap job was neat, done attentively, and the material had yet to become stained red. How recently had they changed the wraps that they were still clean? How many hermits had seen, first hand, the ugly truth of his blood?

    As if reading his mind, Ren added, in a quieter tone, “Xisuma found the Last Life blood and pain mod pack too. It was… it was stuck to your code. Another error.”

    Mumbo froze, fingers that had been idly running over his wrist bandage stopping as suddenly as if they had turned to stone. “He… he found a mod pack?”

    “Yeah. It must’ve carried over with you from the LL server- Mumbo, I’m so- Mumbo?”

    Mumbo didn’t hear a sound past Ren’s second confirmation, too busy ripping off the bandage he had just been admiring, barely registering as his hand slipped and tore into his skin instead of the cloth for a second. Compared to what he had grown so used to dealing with- compared to the pain mod’s limits- the Hermitcraft scratch was nothing.

    Ren, seeing what he was doing, moved to grab Mumbo’s wrists and hold them away from each other. By the time he did, however, it didn’t matter. The bandage was off, and Mumbo was able to see for himself.

    Although the glitch injury was still there, edges still blocky and colourful, not so much as a drop of blood graced the wound. Not in the cut, not dripping away from it, not anywhere.

    The blood was gone. The pain was nowhere close to the bearable agony it had been since Mumbo had started collecting cuts that nothing could heal. His flesh heart, no longer necessary, had fallen silent.

    Had it all truly just been a mod? Had everything- everything he felt, everything he thought, everything he did- had it all been the remnants of the Last life server and nothing more?

    “Mumbo?”

    Ren was still holding his wrists. Ren was still holding his wrists because Mumbo… had hurt himself. Without meaning to. Without trying. The lack of blood to mark the spot didn’t make it less real. The lack of red on his hands didn’t make him any less guilty.

    Nothing had changed.

    “I think… I’m going to go back to sleep.”

    Ren’s hands released Mumbo’s as he let himself drop back onto the pillow, eyes falling shut as he waited for darkness to overcome him. He didn’t have to wait long (really, he didn’t have to wait at all).

    The next time Mumbo woke up, Ren was gone, and Pearl and Gem were arguing.

    “You can go on, I’ll just wait for Grian to arrive.”

    “No way. You’ve been here plenty long enough already.”

    “It’s fine, Gem. Just a bit more.”

    Mumbo listened as someone walked towards his bed. Gem, if he had to guess. He hadn’t opened his eyes, not wanting either of them to realize he was awake.

    “Pearl,” Gem started, voice softer even though it was closer, “I know you’re worried, and I know you want to help. We all do. But if you try to take on all that help by yourself, you’re going to wear yourself out.”

    “I- I know, but I can’t- I’m just-” Pearl cut herself off, and Mumbo could hear the deep breath she took. “I’m trying to make it up to him.”

    “I think we’re all trying to do that, a bit.”

    “He’s Boatem. We should’ve never let it get this bad.”

    “He’s a hermit. We all should’ve been there for him sooner.” A slight shift of air next to Mumbo indicated that Pearl had stood up, two sets of footsteps leading away from his bed confirming it. “Now come on, let’s get you something yummy.”

    Mumbo waited until their voices completely faded out of his hearing range to open his eyes. The room around him was empty, Grian not yet arrived. Perfect.

    Sitting up took more effort than Mumbo expected, but he managed it, pausing for a few seconds to collect himself before attempting to stand. He wasn’t entirely sure what his plan was, but Mumbo figured standing up would be a step in the right direction, whatever that direction might be. 

    That particular step, unfortunately, took several tries to accomplish. Each time Mumbo fell back on his bed, he glanced towards the door of what he had some time ago realized was Grian’s starter base. It had yet to open since Gem and Pearl’s departure, but he knew his time was running out.

    Steeling himself, Mumbo tried again. He wobbled as soon as he was on his feet, fighting for his balance for a few beats before he stabilized. He waited a few more seconds before trying to walk, not wanting to go too fast and end up on the floor.

    Finally on his feet, Mumbo considered his options. Instinctively, he reached for his communicator, various servers he could jump to popping into his mind as he did so. Mumbo wasn’t sure if he was still allowed in Hermitcraft because the hermits were too kind to kick him out when he was still recovering, or if it was because they hadn’t yet connected all the dots, but he didn’t need to stay around and find out. It would be kinder to them if he left on his own terms. Better.

    But his communicator wasn’t where he usually kept it, his fingers closing around empty air. It hadn’t been moved elsewhere in his pockets either, Mumbo attempting the pat-down method and still finding nothing.

    “Mumbo?”

    Grian was standing at his starter base’s doors, slightly frowning. He looked tired, with messy hair and a slump in his posture, and if Mumbo thought he could have done so without falling over he would have tugged him into the bed he himself had only barely gotten out of.

    “You look awful, Grian.”

    For a moment, Grian’s frown was replaced with a smile as he snorted. “You’re one to talk.”

    Mumbo’s only response was to shrug, not sure what else to say. Already standing, the small motion caused him to grimace, Grian’s smile falling when he saw Mumbo’s own frown.

    “Really, Mumbo, you’re paler than usual. And that’s saying something.” Grian stepped away from the door, reaching out as though he wanted to help support Mumbo. Mumbo pulled away before he could. “Mumbo?”

    “Where’s my communicator?”

    Grian’s frown deepened. He didn’t lower his arms. “Xisuma was worried you would roll over on top of it and break it. We put it away.”

    “Where?”

    “In… in the chest. Over there.” Grian gestured at a chest against one of the nearer walls to Mumbo’s bed after a pause too long to be explained by not remembering the spot. “Do you need it for something?”

    Mumbo doubted there was any answer he could offer Grian, real or fake, that he would accept or believe. He also doubted he could make it to the chest before Grian either stopped him or demanded an answer, but he decided that effort was easier to attempt than a bluff.

    In the time it took him to take two steps, Grian had entirely rounded him, coming to stand between Mumbo and the chest. “Mumbo. Why do you want your communicator?”

    Mumbo tried to sidestep Grian, avoiding both him and the conversation. Grian, with unfair ease, matched him.

    “Please, Mumbo. Answer me.”

    Stalling wasn’t working, and Mumbo didn’t think he could keep himself standing for much longer. It didn’t help that, up this close, he could better see the weariness in Grian’s stance, his face, his eyes. That was his fault, wasn’t it?

    “I think you know why, Grian.” Mumbo finally said. He tried to dodge Grian’s eyes as he spoke, tried to keep them fixed on the chest, but Grian wouldn’t let him.

    “I really don’t.” Why did he have to keep pushing? Grian was smart, and a Boatem member, and a former Southlander. He had to know why Mumbo needed to leave. He had named the reason himself.

    “I can’t stay. I know I-”

    “Can’t stay? Mumbo, you can barely stand!” Grian interrupted, voice rising even though Mumbo couldn’t seem to find any anger in his tone. “You need to sit down, and rest, and let us help you!”

    That was the problem, though, wasn’t it? The hermits were too kind. Even to Mumbo. Even knowing what he was.

    “You don’t have to help me. I’ll- I’ll be alright. I don’t want to-”

    “Is this what you call alright?!” Grian waved a hand at Mumbo, incredulous even in the motion. “You nearly permadied! After months of secrecy and blood and injury and- and death games! You would’ve been gone, forever, without us- without us knowing anything, and-”

    Grian’s hand suddenly came back to press against his face, the base of his palm rubbing against the bottom of an eye, and suddenly Mumbo was the one reaching out, unable to hold himself back as Grian started to cry.

    “When Xisuma brought you back… when he showed up in Boatem, carrying you like some lifeless doll… you were bleeding. In Hermitcraft.” Grian was wise enough to not try and lean on Mumbo for support, but he did press slightly into his touch, layering his hand over Mumbo’s. “Even Xisuma didn’t know if you’d make it. What if next time you don’t? I can’t- I won’t let you go running right back to get yourself killed. I won’t.”

    “Grian, I-” What could Mumbo say to that? Offer an apology he knew Grian wouldn’t accept? Offer comfort for the problems he had created? He could try to keep leaving, to walk away, but that wouldn’t help Grian now. No, to help Grian now, Mumbo had to stay, even knowing that he shouldn’t.

    Mumbo was ‘saved’ from having to make a choice when his body made it for him, no longer willing nor able to keep him standing. He crumpled, semi-crashing into Grian, who did his best to catch Mumbo’s sudden dead weight. Inexplicably, Grian let out a small chuckle.

    “Forget letting you run off, I’d like to see you try to.” He half-joked, shifting Mumbo’s weight so he could more easily walk him back to the bed. Mumbo went along willingly, both due to his complete lack of energy and to let Grian have the moment.

    As soon as he was once more seated on his bed, Mumbo sunk into the mattress, nearly giving in to the urge to completely fall back on it and go back to sleep. He resisted, however. He still had something he needed to say to Grian.

    “I’m sorry.”

    “You’re… what?”

    “I’m sorry.” Mumbo repeated, not letting his gaze waver from Grian’s this time. “For scaring you. And lying. I wasn’t- I wasn’t trying to hurt you. The complete opposite, in fact, but I, er, clearly missed the mark on that. So I’m sorry. Truly sorry.”

    The effect Mumbo had wanted his apology to have was a positive one. What type of positive, exactly, he wasn’t sure, but the point of it was to try and make Grian feel better, along with genuinely attempting to address what he had done. All he had wanted to do was help Hermitcraft, keep it safe from him. Yet, despite his attempts, they had still ended up hurt.

    (Not that he should be surprised by such an outcome. Had he truly expected anything good to come from him? He had been fooling himself.)

    And his apology had quickly become another failed act of niceness, if Grian’s expression was anything to go by. He didn’t look soothed, or comforted, or positive in any way. He just looked upset. Hurt.

    “Oh, Mumbo.” The way Grian said his name didn’t fit right in his mouth at all. There was no disdain in his words, merely the opposite. “You have nothing to apologize for. The Life games mess with everyone’s heads. We should have tried to help you earlier. I should have tried to help you earlier. That’s not your fault.”

    “It’s hardly yours either.” Mumbo argued. “You, Boatem, all of Hermitcraft- you all tried to help me, all the time. It’s not your fault it couldn’t be helped. You couldn’t have known.”

    “We could have, if we had just asked you where you were going off server all the time, instead of accepting the answers even you didn’t seem confident in-”

    “No, no, I don’t mean about the death games. I mean about… me.”

    Something flashed through Grian’s eyes. It looked like fear. “About you? What… what couldn’t we have known? About you?”

    Mumbo laughed, the reactionary noise hollow sounding. He knew it wasn’t a joke, but it felt a bit like the mimicry of one to him. “You said it yourself, Grian.

    “I’m a monster.”

[luigra]

Reference sheet for hermits’ minecraft skins, color-picked