#ayahina fanfic

[elusiveangel-fic]

I’m just going to go ahead and plan a whole Tokyo ghoul fairytale au series in my head. Whether I write it or not is up to fate like the rest of my creations

[hamliet]

are you still going to write fan fiction (like ayahina for example)

Fanfic in general, absolutely!

I've admittedly been focusing a lot more on original fiction the past year; I may have some news on that front soon, but *knocks on wood* we'll see. It's also been a profoundly difficult year in a lot of ways, but also a rewarding one in some respects.

But, I have absolutely not abandoned my love of fanfic. I wrote one for Kinnporsche most recently, under my name, and I also wrote a series of... explicit one-shots for High&Low that I published on Anon bc I'm a coward who constantly second-guesses how much I want my fanfic life linked to my real life writer persona. (I'm also writing another long fic that I am also publishing under Anon for similar reasons.)

As for Ayahina, I still enjoy reading it, but I haven't written anything for it for awhile. That said, I'd never rule it out--it's still an OTP!

[moonspirit]

favorite movie, favorite ships (aot or non aot), favorite book

hi hi hi!

Favorite movies - copy pasting from a prev ask haha xD - some of my favourites off the top of my head - Most Ghibli movies (but esp Howl’s Moving castle), Kimi no Na wa, Interstellar, Avatar 1&2 (james cameron), titanic, The Martian, Postmen in the Mountains, Big Fish & Begonia

Fav ships - Hm. Aruani (obv), eremika, yatori (currently I am in shambles), Touken, Ayahina (tokyo ghoul), Yutamaki (jjk), royai, edwin, lingfan, inukag, okikagu, kei x hikari (from my first ever fanfic-inspiring anime; SA), Ito x Makoto (from a manga called W Juliet, GOD I love(d) it so much T_T), and uhhhh i'm sure I have more but I'm blanking out... xD

Fav book of all time - Cosmos, by Carl Sagan :3

[empressqueen]

I cant find the post-dragoneki ayahina fanfic where they go shopping and fcked inside a dressing room.

Where u at? I'm thirsty

[moonwaif]

Latte (H)Art: ch. 4/?

“Interlude”: Hinami stars training with her pal Ayato. (Ao3)

Summary: Traumatized after being rejected by Kirishima Ayato, her first love, a teenaged Hinami vows that she will never fall in love again. Four years later, Hinami is a young woman trying to get by in life. Her painful past is behind her - at least, until she gets a job at Aogiri Tree Café, where she runs into a few familiar faces…AyaHina human!AU

| Ch. 1 | Ch. 2 | Ch. 3 |

A/N: So it's been like what, a year? Hahah my bad. This chapter was originally way longer but I scrapped most of it, and this is what's left. Anyway here's Wonderwall.

Hinami realized she was in love with Ayato on the day of the science fair.

It was a complete disaster.

They had arrived at school that morning expecting to see the solar powered remote control car they'd worked so hard on the previous night, staying at school until long after the sun went down. What they found instead was a mess of wires and disassembled parts.

Someone had sabotaged their project.

“Why would anyone even WANT to do something like this?” Momo wondered out-loud. “It’s just the school science fair. We don’t even get a good prize.”

Her words sounded far away. Hinami spun on her heel, ignoring Momo’s voice calling out to her as she fled.

Fifteen minutes later she was sobbing in the basement stairwell.

She couldn't understand Momo. To Hinami, it had all seemed so important at the time. She didn't want to see the disappointment in her teacher’s faces, or face the ridicule of her classmates. She couldn't stand to hear her parents’ half-hearted, “You can always try again next year Hina." Just thinking about it all sent a hot wave of humiliation burning through her throat. She couldn't go out there. Better to just stay in this stairwell and hide until it was all over.

“Oi, put a lid on it. All that crying is a pain in the ass.”

His voice reverberated through the narrow concrete passage. Hinami turned to look over her shoulder. Ayato stood a few steps above her, looking down in disdain.

It made her laugh.

“What’s so funny?” he demanded, but behind the anger he sounded slightly unsure.

“Ah, it’s just that when you’re annoyed, you look a lot like your sister,” she explained. For the first time that morning, she smiled.

Ayato said nothing.

The door to the stairwell burst open. It was Momo, the remnants of the solar powered car clutched to her chest. “Hinami!” she breathed. “There you are! Come on, we need to…”

Her eyes locked on Ayato, and her mouth clamped shut. Ayato glanced at the mess of circuits and parts in her hands.

“Is this for that pointless science fair?” he asked.

Momo nodded, blushing. “Someone broke it…”

“Yeah. Looks like a pile of shit.”

‘He’s right,’ Hinami thought. For some reason, she didn’t feel like crying anymore. She stood, brushing off her skirt.

“I’m sorry this happened, Momo. I should have stored the car in a more protected place…”

“Ahh no, no! It’s not your fault, Hinami-chan.”

“Mmm.” Hinami reached out, taking the ruined project. “Sorry, but I...don’t think we can fix it. I know you worked hard.”

“..annoying.”

The girls glanced up at Ayato, who scowled back down at them, his arms crossed.

Momo blinked. “Huh?”

“Just gonna give up and then go home and cry about it, right? Freshmen are such annoying little shits…”

“What else can we do?” Hinami mumbled, blushing. She'd never talked so much with an upperclassman before, especially not one as popular as Kirishima-san.

“I dunno, come up with a new idea? Aren’t you supposed to be smart or something?”

He looked right at Hinami as she said this. Her cheeks grew warmer. Did people really think she was smart?

“I - I don’t - there’s not enough time - “

Ayato interrupted with a dramatic sigh. He sauntered down the stairs, rolling his eyes as he passed them.

“Follow me.”

Twenty minutes later Hinami was rushing into the cafeteria with a pitcher of water, droplets sploshing over the sides. Ayato watched her idly as she approached, his feet propped atop the plastic fold-out table.

He nodded approvingly. “Good. Your little friend already got the fan.”

It was a tall fan, plugged into the nearest socket and pointed directly at the table. Hinami could sense the curious gazes surrounding them. She tried not to glance at the other booths in the cafeteria, or the myriad of sophisticated experiments displayed upon them.

“Turn it on.”

Her eyes flew back to Ayato. He was pouring water onto the table in a gentle stream. Hinami gaped in confusion.

“The fan?” he repeated, brow arched.

Oh. Right. Hinami flicked the switch. She glanced at Ayato expectantly, but he was already leaning back in his chair, looking bored. People were starting to wander over now, whispering to each other. It didn’t take long for someone to finally approach them.

“Where’s your experiment? Is it invisible, or something?”

Takizawa snickered with his friends. Hinami felt her face grow hot.

Ayato wasn’t phased. “You’re looking at it, smartass.”

Seriously? Hinami internally cringed, prepping herself for the public humiliation that was about take place.

Even Takizawa looked flabbergasted. “What, a wet table? Fueguchi-san, come on, you didn’t really let him talk you into this, did you?”

Ayato stood. The boys with Takizawa were still laughing, but Hinami noticed some real interest in the eyes of the girls.

“Since you seem to lack an understanding of basic science, I’ll spell it out for you, dickwad,” Ayato said coolly. Takizawa’s face reddened. “Water’s on the table. The fan creates wind. The wind vaporizes the liquid, which becomes a gas in the atmosphere.”

The students were smiling, still snickering but giving each other uncomfortable looks - almost like they were unsure who they were laughing at anymore. Ayato spread his hands out on the table, leaning forward with a sly, predatory grin.

“Evaporation, Takizawa,” he said slowly. “A dweeb like you should know that much, right?”

And then he started laughing. Long and loud. Takizawa stammered a retort, but by then no one was listening. Everyone had clustered around Ayato. Hinami could hear some of the girls chastising him, calling him “lazy” and “ridiculous”, but their voices held more admiration than derision. The boys were bumping against shoulders, all eager to get some of that cool to rub off on them, booming fond remarks like, "Leave it to Kirishima-kun!"

Takizawa was left behind in the tide.

“Wow,” Momo whispered, appearing beside Hinami. “I can’t believe he really pulled that off!”

Hinami nodded. At that moment, Ayato suddenly caught her eye. She felt her insides freeze as his mouth split into a slow grin, one eye flashing her a wink.

It was then she knew.

She was falling in love with Kirishima Ayato.

Hinami slammed her fist into the punching bag, jaw clenching. Why the hell was she remembering all of that ridiculous stuff now?

Ever since Hinami had walked into Aogiri Tree, she’d been streamlining towards a past she’d left dead and buried. At least, that’s what she’d assumed. Now she wasn’t so sure. Ayato, Takizawa, Akira; seeing them had managed to set off emotions inside Hinami like a string of firecrackers. If she really was completely “over it,” then why did she feel so angry? So scared? So impotent?

‘Because you never really got over it,’ she thought. ‘You just ran away from it all...like a coward.’

And now here she was, caught in the claws of what was her pathetic failure of a life. Except this time she wasn’t running. This time, she was going to punch that life in the face.

‘Evaporation experiment?’ Punch. ‘I can’t believe I fell for that!’ Punch. ‘So juvenile and asinine!’ Punch. ‘He just used us another opportunity to show off!’

Hinami rested her forearm against the punching bag, panting. She glanced at Ayato, who looked back at her with an irritatingly amused expression.

He truly was a pitiful sight. The dark, bruised bags under his eyes had lightened somewhat, but he still hadn’t showed up at work today. Hinami didn’t know much about concussions, and if Ayato’s face was any indication she didn’t want to find out.

“You don’t have much stamina, do you?” he drawled. “Do you even work out?”

Hinami glared daggers into his back as he turned around, reaching for a towel and tossing it at her nonchalantly.

“Here. You’re sweating like a pig.”

‘I’m gonna murder him,’ Hinami thought, shaking as she wiped at her forehead. ‘I’m gonna learn how to fight and then I’m gonna murder him and burn the body.’

‘No, no, stay cool...you came here for a reason, remember?’

“Right now you lack the fundamental strength,” he continued, lounging back against the wall as she fumed. “A hit from you is gonna hurt about as much as a mosquito bite. You need to bulk up.”

“Then help me train,” she muttered. God she hated this, groveling to this asshole...

Ayato reached for a notepad, throwing it to her. Hinami caught it. Jeeze, why couldn’t he just hand her things like a normal person?

The first page of the notepad read: “Week 1. Burpees: 30 seconds. 5 reps. Plank jacks: 40 seconds. 12 reps…”

Hinami flipped through the pages. “This is a personalized workout plan.”

“Yup. Follow it. Then in a few weeks we can get to the good stuff.”

She tried to imagine Ayato sitting in his bed, pen in hand, eagerly creating a detailed fitness plan just for her. What kind of strange reality was this?

“Ok,” she answered, awkwardly. “So...do I need to keep coming here?”

“If you’re gonna get serious, yeah. You can train here, it’ll keep you on track and help you progress a little quicker. I mean it’s not like I’m doing this all for free. I’m already - “

“Docking an hour of my pay every time we meet,” Hinami cut in flatly. “Yeah, you told me. And I am serious. I mean, I came to you, so…”

There was a moment of awkward silence as Ayato examined her, a peculiar expression on his face. “Why does someone like you wanna fight, anyway?” he asked finally. “You planning to go and kill Akira or something?”

He grinned, tickled at his own joke. Hinami wasn’t laughing.

“I don’t know,” she said quietly. “Maybe it’s so I can kill you.”

Ayato’s eyes flew up to her, startled. For a long moment their gazes locked. Then Hinami’s courage faltered.

“Or...maybe not,” she mumbled, looking away.

There was another beat of silence. Then, “See, this is your problem. If you’re gonna make a threat at least commit to it.”

He shook his head, sighing as he reached for a pair of boxing gloves.

“What are you doing?” Hinami asked. Did he intend to fight her now or something?

“Relax,” he said, reading her mind. “Since you’re here, I might as well show you how to throw a punch. ‘Cause if you really wanna kill me, you’re gonna have to try a lot harder than that.”

TBC...

[harleyquilt]

Missing You - Part 1

Summary: Glimpses into the minds of Kaneki, Touka, Hinami, and Ayato across both series

Words: 4470

Notes: A lil Touken and Ayahina angst. The second part will probably be more fluffy. Hope you enjoy!

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The taste of rotting meat coated Kaneki's tongue, the small mouthful of ghoul flesh sliding down his throat. His body tried to turn against itself, and he had to press a hand against his mouth to stop himself from regurgitating his revolting ‘meal’. In his other hand was a ghoul’s bone, which had shattered under Kaneki’s tight grip. With a hesitative glance, Kaneki squeezed his eyes shut and threw the shards into his mouth. He chewed slowly. Fortunately, the bones had little taste to them, but they were still coated with the flavour of the meat. Still, there was less of a struggle to digest these last few remains, and once Kaneki swallowed the mush that was once his enemy, he went to wash his face with cold water.

His body was drenched with sweat, and looking in the mirror, he saw that his face was drained of all colour. He bit down on his trembling lips and splashed his face once more. It wasn’t pleasant, but it must be done, he told himself. After all, he needed to get stronger, and this was the quickest way of obtaining that needed power. It had to be worth it, he assured himself. If not, well...at the very least, he wasn’t digesting any human flesh. If it wasn’t for coffee, he was certain he would’ve lost his mind by now. 

Speaking of which, he heard a knock on the door, followed by Hinami’s small, sweet voice. “Onii-chan? I have a cup of coffee for you.” Opening the door, Kaneki slipped out of the room and quickly shut the door behind him. Hinami looked at him with inquisitive eyes, but she asked no questions. She instead smiled and held up the coffee for him to take. 

“Thank you, Hinami.” He smiled, taking a sip. It didn’t have the same flavour as the manager’s coffee, but knowing that it was made by Hinami was enough to make the coffee delicious in its own way. He chugged down half of the mug in one go, ignoring the heat, desperate to replace the taste that lingered on his lips.

“Careful, Onii-chan!” Hinami jumped. “It’s hot!”

“Thank you, Hinami. You’re as reliable as always.” He patted her head and though she did not respond, her eyes quickly turned to the ground. Maybe out of bashfulness, or perhaps…

Kaneki headed towards the training room, finishing the coffee with another gulp. The training room was empty, as usual, lit only with the evening sun. An orange glow enveloped the room and Kaneki’s silhouette stretched across the ground as he moved towards the mirrored wall. He wore only a tank top and some shorts, the blackness of his clothes only making him seem more pale in comparison. He looked like a ghost, he thought, examining his features. Though, at this point, he might as well be. Nothing about his past-self remained - even his body was completely different compared to how he was a few months ago. Where there used to be soft flesh was now hardened muscle, his body more lean and defined in its shape. His eyes, still a soft grey in its colour, were now sunken in, and with each passing day, he found himself looking gradually more tired. Still, he couldn’t say that was the biggest difference in his appearance. He reached up to his white hair, his nails still black from bruising. A seemingly permanent reminder of that day. 

The memories of that day always passed by like a speeding train, the intrusive force left by its passing enough to leave Kaneki breathless. Even with its sudden speed, the memory still remained vivid in his mind, and within a single moment, he’d find himself lost in whatever room he was in. It would always take him a short while to realise that, despite what his mind was telling him, he was no longer in that room of torture. And still, he would feel his breath against Kaneki’s neck, and more often than not, Kaneki would retreat to his room in hopes of finding some kind of refuge. 

But for the time being, he merely brushed the thought aside and ignored the rapid beating of his heart. He instead chose to press his nails into his arm, hoping the pain would be enough to bring him back down to the world of the living. He may look like a ghost now, but he still felt as if he was being haunted by his...victims? Could they be called that? Should they be called that? No, enough, Kaneki thought with a shake of his head, blood dripping down his arm. He watched the red droplet fall to the ground and splatter, and within seconds from moving his hand away, the cut on his arm closed itself up. 

“It doesn’t matter.” He whispered to himself. The room faded into darkness as the sun disappeared behind the towering buildings of Tokyo, a chill entering the darkened space. “It doesn’t matter.” A whimper escaped him and he crouched down, his head in his hands. “I’m sorry.” 

. . .

Kaneki woke up late the next morning. He had spent the night out with Banjou and Tsukiyama, though Hinami wasn’t told any details. It was rare for her to be involved in the missions they went on, and though she could understand the reasoning behind such decisions, she was restless by the thought of being left behind. There was something frightening in seeing the backs of her friends, their figures losing shape in the distance as they continued to walk further away from her. Even if she tried to reach out, she wouldn't be able to catch them - she was sure of that. So, what was she supposed to do? All she could do was be obedient to Kaneki’s orders, and deep down, she knew that it would do him no favours to go against them. It was the same reason why she wasn't being taken along in the first place; that is to say, she had nothing she could offer in terms of aid.

Though much time has passed since her mother's passing, she hasn't changed much in terms of power and maturity since then. She has tried, of course, but it was clear that not much has come about from those futile attempts. Her kagune was still too overwhelming for her to control, and her body was still petite and delicate. With that said, she also acknowledges that she wasn't completely useless. Her speciality - her sharp senses - still remained her one and only skill, and when in use, it was a useful skill to use. Particularly in the missions Kaneki went on. And yet, it clearly wasn't enough. 

As she mulled on such thoughts, she checked the time, anxiously glancing towards the front door as she did. It was already late in the evening, and the house remained empty. With each passing hour, the shadows across the walls stretched and grew, threatening to distinguish the dimming light hanging on the ceiling. Hinami pulled her legs up and wrapped her arms around them, her shoulders raised in suspense. 

More often than not, she contemplated calling Touka. Hinami has made herself the rule not to call too frequently, in fear that it would confirm Touka's own worries. Despite this rule, though, she couldn't deny that she craved the presence of her surrogate sister. A part of her wished that Kaneki had allowed Touka to come along, even if his reasoning was sound. It was too painful having to choose between one or the other, the distance between the two far greater than it may initially seem. She wasn’t exactly sure why they were no longer talking, especially since they both clearly miss each other. Perhaps she could encourage Kaneki to visit, or have Touka meet up with her and Kaneki in a cafe somewhere. No - the more she thought about it, the more insecure she felt. This was between them two, and no matter her intentions, she was in no position to interfere and meddle with their relationship, whatever that relationship may be. 

She sniffled and let out a small whimper, realising then how alone she was. She was stuck on the crossroads, with Kaneki and Touka walking along two different paths. Maybe those paths will find each other again, but Hinami was too afraid to tempt fate and decide which route to go down. Though she was following Kaneki at the moment, she was still struggling to decide whether or not she should continue to follow him. What was the right thing to do, she wondered.

After another hour, Kaneki and the others finally returned. They were all equally exhausted from their latest mission, and they collectively decided to postpone any further business until the next morning. Kaneki paused and noticed Hinami’s small figure on the corner of the couch. She was breathing slowly, a peaceful expression on her sleeping face. Banjou offered to bring her to bed, but Kaneki stepped forward and took her into his arms. She seemed so fragile and small in his arms, so much so that he was almost afraid of breaking her with his rough touch. He carried her slowly to her room and placed her gently into her bed, removing her slippers and lifting the covers over her. With a smile, he straightened and went to leave the room.

Just as he was about to leave, however, he noticed a photograph on Hinami’s bedside table. It was a photo of her, her mother and Touka. Hinami seemed a little younger than she was now and so did Touka, who was hugging Hinami from behind. Her mother looked just as Kaneki remembered her - a gentle woman with a gentle smile. He bit his lip and clenched his hand, the smell of her blood and the sound of her lifeless body hitting the ground still vividly imprinted onto his mind. He glanced back at Hinami and grimaced, a silent apology escaping his lips. And then he thought of Touka, as he often did, and he prayed that she was at least safe under the care of the manager. If he were to lose her...Well, he hardly wanted to imagine such a scenario. With his thoughts so often being filled with an unbearable amount of regret, even towards his decision to bring Hinami along, he was at least confident that it was right for him to keep Touka in the cafe. He wouldn’t be able to cope otherwise. 

He wondered where she was now, what she was doing, what she was thinking. And he continued to contemplate such thoughts as he went into his bedroom and onto his bed, the familiarity of her embarrassed scowl and crude words soothing him into a dreamless sleep. It was hard for him to deny that he wanted nothing more than to see her, and yet, he felt it right to deny himself such pleasures. After all, to involve himself in her life would only bring about more turmoil for her, and that thought alone was too terrible for him to bear.

. . . 

Hinami was alone once again. Time had passed, people came and went, and Tokyo was forever in flux. Even so, she was alone. The only difference was that she was no longer waiting for the return of her friends, for she had no friends in Aogiri. It was a heartless organisation, she found, the relationship and bonds between the other ghouls brittle and strained. There was only one thing that kept them together and that was the desire to see the CCG burn to the ground in a vengeful fire of justice. Hinami herself was not exactly invested in such goals; she supposed she should feel some sort of hatred towards those responsible for her parent’s deaths, but even now, she could not bring herself to hate those she had never known. Rather, she was influenced by Eto to join their crusade against the humans with the promise that their movement will give her the strength she sorely desires. With Kaneki gone and their group disbanded, and with Anteiku nothing more than rubble, she saw no alternative. It was hard to see her own reflection and deny the fact that it was due to her weakness that Kaneki and the others had failed, that everything she had once loved had been destroyed. How could she return to Touka with such burdens? It seemed unfair and it was Eto that confirmed these worries, reassuring her that Aogiri will solve this dilemma of hers. 

She supposed that Eto had not lied to her. After a few years amongst the toughened ghouls of Aogiri, she had greater control over her own body and mind and proved herself a worthy asset amongst the others under Eto’s command. Except...even with all of her newly trained and sharpened abilities, she could not bring herself to kill another. Tatara accepted no excuses and he stood by her, commanding her to murder whoever it was that was whimpering before her. When his patience began to simmer away, Ayato would step in and kick her away with a tut, killing the person in her place. Despite the throbbing pain in her stomach and the tears that threatened to fall from her eyes, she knew that Ayato had done her a great favour and she would go on to thank him with a coffee later on in the evening. 

He always showed her kindness in the strangest ways, she found. He watched over her carefully and protected her in his own way, and over time, Hinami grew fond of his presence. She still remembered their first interaction with a smile - how his angry scowl and foul-mouth reminded her of Touka in so many ways, and how after this first encounter, he was gentler when approaching her. They did not speak much and she could hardly say they were close, but she at least considered him something akin to an ally. She hoped that he saw her the same way. It was a nice thought she often indulged, knowing that maybe she was not as alone as she feared. 

For the time being, however, she thought it best to keep up her guard, to reject these fantasies in favour of the much more grim reality. It was a lesson she must drill into herself, she had told herself, no matter the pain it may cause her. The sacrifice of her happiness and comfort must be worth it, even if it meant being eternally alone.

. . .

Ayato took a sip of the bitter tasting coffee as he stared at the many roses that surrounded him. He grimaced and placed down the cup with a sigh. It lacked the gentle aroma and sweetened taste of Hinami’s coffee, the bitterness a reminder that she was still imprisoned in the CCG prison. He leaned his head back and shut his eyes, praying to no one in particular that she was still alive, that she wasn’t being tortured by some white-coat freak. It was not knowing that pained him the most, that and the thought that he was responsible for this situation to begin with. He was supposed to protect and watch over her, he often thought during these moments. If she dies, he knew all too well that her blood would be on his hands. Washing the thought away with another sip of coffee, he stood and frowned. No, he thought, he would not let it get to that point. He refused.

He left the greenhouse and walked along the shoreline, his mind racing with the various plans he had been putting together for the past two months. They were all suicide missions, he knew, and without the support of Tatara and the others, he was left with little to work with. But he refused to abandon her, he couldn’t, even if he was ordered to do so. It was ironically intimidating in its own way - ignoring an order. He rebelled against Touka by joining Aogiri, but that rebellious spirit of his had died down over the years and soon enough, he found himself comfortably obedient under Tatara’s commands. He had no love for humans, least of all the CCG, but his place in Aogiri was no longer defined by that hatred. Even when following Eto and Tatara on their mission, he was no more than a soldier, a dog, responding to the orders of his masters. And now...now he was once again a rebellious teenager doing what it was he wanted. It was indeed intimidating, but in a way, also exhilarating. Regardless, this was not for his sake and he could no longer afford to be embarrassed by the fact that he cared deeply for the timid, crying girl that he wanted to call his friend. His ally. 

It was perhaps the only reason why he found the courage to contact Touka again. 

. . .

I want to ask you something next time I visit.

Haise had bashfully spoken these words to Touka the last time he came by her cafe. His usually pale cheeks were flushed and he kept his eyes away from hers as he stumbled over his own words. A bashful smile grew on his lips as he spoke and with a gentle politeness, and Touka told him that she was looking forward to whatever it was he wanted to ask. 

Except, three months have now passed and he has not shown up since. The winter was beginning to end, Christmas came by and went, and Touka was beginning to lose hope of seeing him again. It was selfish, she knew, to crave these visits, knowing that it was best for him to stay away from the past that once caused him so much pain. And still, whenever she saw those familiar, light-grey eyes of his, and heard that lighthearted voice that reminded her so much of the days they once spent together in Anteiku, she yearned to have him nearby. She wanted him to remember her, at least. No, that was asking for too much, and she was sure to remind herself this each time he came up in her thoughts. It was just painful, having to accept these changes that she had no power or control over. It was a reminder that she cannot live without loss. 

Though Haise’s presence, his mere existence, was proof of that, she could not find it within herself to turn him away and keep her distance. If not that, then to at least act aloof. It was how he looked at her that made her pause, that made her hesitate. He looked at her with so much admiration, finding any excuse to strike up a conversation with her. He even visited the cafe alone, away from the eyes of his subordinates, and kept her company during the more quiet hours of the evening. It occurred to her that she had seen these eyes before, many years ago when he was just a human enjoying the mundane pleasures of human life; those eyes that now look upon Touka once looked at Rize, before the tragedy took away the tranquility from his life. She tried to deny it at first, insisting that he was simply being friendly, but when she thought about the alternative meaning, her heart fluttered with immense joy. How could she deny that his liking of her made her happy? How could she possibly say otherwise? She tried to fight against it, of course, but every visit he made only confirmed her suspicions. It was as painful as it was heartwarming. Needless to say, she was sure to keep these thoughts to herself. 

It wasn’t until late April that Haise made an appearance again. He came alone to the shop late in the evening and with a timid apology, he asked if the shop was still open. He must have known that it was around the time that Touka would usually clean up and close the cafe, but she was unwilling to send him away after all this time. She smiled and told him that he’ll be her last customer for the day. At this, he gave her a smile that made her heart leap - the kind of smile that could light up any dark room, and that alone made his visit worthwhile. As he entered the shop, she noticed that he looked somewhat different: his darker strands were beginning to drown out his white hair and he seemed more...tired, his cheeks more gaunt. 

“I’m sorry I haven’t been around lately. I know I said I was going to ask you something last time I visited, but things came up.” He sat down on the stool opposite Touka, who stood behind the counter. She was already brewing him his coffee. “Every time I thought I had spare time, someone else needed me for something else-- ah, well, no use complaining. Please forgive me.” 

He bowed his head, a distinct regret in his tone. From what she has heard from others, Touka knew of recent CCG ongoings and how they had raided the ghoul auction that those clowns were hosting. She also heard that Hinami had been taken as a prisoner when Aogiri interfered, and that it was Haise that had saved her. There were so many things she could tell Haise at this moment and show him how much she understood. She wanted to both slap and hug him, to berate him and thank him. So many words lay on the tip of her tongue, but in the end, she knew better. 

“Please, don’t worry. I just hope that you’ve been okay.” She finally said as she poured him a mug of coffee. He looked up with relief and took a deep breath, his hands grasping each other on the counter. “So,” she passed the coffee to him, “what was it you wanted to ask?”

His face turned pink at this question and he laughed nervously in response, taking a sip of her coffee. “W-Well, you see…” He gulped and Touka smiled patiently. “I wanted to ask...how do you make such delicious coffee!” He laughed as he raised the mug, his other hand rubbing his chin. Touka’s smile faltered for a moment and she shrugged. 

“I used to work at a different cafe.” She said, her voice tinged with pain. “He made wonderful coffee back then. He’s gone now.” She sighed and looked up, Haise flushed with embarrassment. “I try my best to make my coffee just as he did.”

“I see.” Haise coughed awkwardly and took another gulp of coffee, his brows furrowed. “Kirishima-san.” He looked up now with some determination. “Forgive me, that wasn’t the question I wanted to ask. I was going to ask if you had...plans for Christmas, but - ah, well, it’s too late for that.” He scratched the back of his head nervously, his blush still apparent. To his surprise, Touka began to laugh and at first, he was ashamed and began to shrink away, defeated. 

“That’s so sweet of you.” She said through her laughter, and soon enough, Haise began to laugh along. But as she laughed, her eyes began to water, and before Haise could notice, she turned away to wipe away her tears. 

“Kirishima-san?” Haise said with some nervousness, worried he may have upsetted her. 

“I’m sorry, it’s just,” she sniffed, “that really was so sweet of you.” She wanted to call him Kaneki, she wanted him to remember and to call her the way he used to. At times, she wondered if there was some larger deity out there mocking her with these precious interactions, or perhaps this was her fault for letting him inside when she should have sent him away. The line between what she should and should not do was always blurred, but now she could not see the line at all. His comfort was all she wanted and yet, that was something she should no longer expect if he were to live a happier life. 

She turned back after wiping her tears and apologised once again. With some hesitation, Haise reached out and placed a hand on top of hers, assuring her that there was no need to apologise. His touch was warm and gentle, his words a gentle caress. They remained that way for a moment before they both pulled away nervously. 

“I hope I’m not overstepping your boundaries.” Haise confessed, finishing his coffee. “I’ve been feeling guilty about it for a while, I hope I haven’t offended you.”

“Of course not.” She brushed back her fringe and looked at him with both eyes, taking in his appearance once more and hoping that she may see it again in her dreams. “If you’d like, maybe we can do something during the summer. Maybe attend a festival together.” 

“Y-Yes! That sounds wonderful! Hopefully my schedule will be free, but I’d very much like that.” 

After talking for a few more minutes, he paid for his drink and left. It took all that Touka had to let him leave and once she saw him turn the corner in the street, the tears began to flow. She crouched down behind the counter and sobbed, leaning her head back against the wall as the warm tears rolled down her cheeks. Squeezing her eyes shut, she reached up and held her parent’s wedding ring, its weight heavy in the palm of her hand. With a small, sorrowful voice, she called out for them, pleading for their guidance. A part of her wished that Haise had never met her to begin with, that fate will keep them forever apart as long as he was happy, but she knew that she would hate nothing more than to never see him again. It pained her to think that she’ll never see those eyes again, those eager eyes filled with nothing but affection. If he wasn’t going to remember her, what was the point of it all? She wiped away her tears with a clenched fist and slammed it down onto the floor with a grunt. 

Standing back up, she solemnly locked the door and closed the blinds, hugging herself all the while. In the staffroom, before she turned off all the lights, she spent one more moment looking at the photo Irimi took of them years ago during their days working at Anteiku - both of them peacefully sleeping the afternoon away. At first, Touka hated the embarrassment she felt when looking at the picture, insisting that it was worthless. But she was glad she kept it all this time. Maybe, one day, such days will be the norm once again. Could she afford to hope for such things? Maybe not, but she knew she would anyway. She just can’t stop herself from loving Kaneki. 

[crlese]

Thunderstorm (AU)

Pairing: Ayahina

Anime/Manga: Tokyo Ghoul

Prompt: Hinami and Ayato just recently became roommates, and as the days progressed, so does their relationship with one another. However, on a certain night, a thunderstorm suddenly struck, resulting in a petrified Hinami. Will she resolve this problem by shivering underneath her blankets, or will she try to receive comfort from the mischevious Ayato from the other room?

Rating: M

Warning(s): Smutty, smut, smut ;) 

A/N: AU means alternate universe for any of those who are wondering. Anyways, if you enjoyed, please reblog and comment <3 It means a lot to me, and it gives me motivation to write more fanfics with ayahina. 

Hinami sighed and threaded her fingers through her straight hair, the summer’s heat left the pores on her skin glisten with sweat, and the fabric of her blouse stuck to her collarbones. Hinami was reading a book, and she was so engrossed in the plot, her thumbs were pinching the corners of the page, resulting the pads of her fingers to turn white.

“Oi, Hinami,” Ayato’s rough voice suddenly appeared. His handsome face peeked around the door at the front of her room, watching her with his dark eyes. “It’s going to rain soon, so make sure to close your windows.”

Hinami didn’t utter a word; her back was crouched and her eyes intensely followed the words on the pages of her book. Ayato sighed and walked towards her bed; once he was in front of her, he plucked the book out of her hands, earning a noise of protest from Hinami. Then Ayato cocked his face towards the pages. He bit his lips as he lazily trailed his eyes down the words, then his full lips stretched into a wicked grin, and then met his gaze towards Hinami. Her hands were squeezing the sheets and her cheeks became rosy.  “Naughty, naughty Hina.”

Hinami leaned forward, trying to grab her book back, but Ayato clucked his tongue and gripped her wrists with his rough hands. After having a secure clutch on Hinami, he used his pinky and thumb to keep the book open, and then he opened his mouth. “… He gently removed her panties, using his tongue to lap the flesh underneath her ear. She moaned in pleasure and pressed her breasts into his naked ches–.”

“Stop!” Hinami shrieked, her face was red, and she tried escaping his hold, but he was too strong. She couldn’t believe he was doing this, just a few days ago he was incredibly aloof and didn’t utter a word towards her. Although recently he became a bit friendlier, it wasn’t an excuse to suddenly barge into her room and invade her privacy.

Giving her mercy, Ayato gave a lopsided grin, and loosened his hold onto her wrist, and glided his fingers down the underside of her arms. Hinami shivered and stared at the ground until she felt him cup her right hand and flip it over; her palm was facing up. She glanced at him curiously, underneath her bangs. Then he placed the book on her hand and took a step backward; the warmth of his proximity quickly vanished, and Hinami suddenly felt cold, despite the warm weather.

“I’m just teasing you,” He chuckled. “You weren’t listening to me, so that gave me a punch at my ego. Anyways, I was actually here to remind you about closing your windows, because it’s going to get a little rainy at night.”

Hinami nodded, but her eyebrows scrunched in confusion. Hinami would presume she would close the windows once she started hearing the rain, but she guesses that it’s better to be prepared.”Alright.”

Ayato smiled and gave her a wink, and nodded his chin behind him. “I’ll be studying, shout if you need anything.”

A thunderous roar resonated across the night sky, and Hinami watched a streak of lightning plummet onto the ground, igniting a scintillating flash of brightness across the horizon. Even though the lightning looked near, at the back of Hinami’s mind, she knew it was very far away. Despite the logic, it didn’t stop her from feeling terrified. Another flash of lightning erupted, and this time, Hinami emitted a squeal and pulled her cover closer to her body. Her teeth chattered in fright, and her whole body felt rigid.

Don’t be such a baby, Hinami thought to herself. But her words gave herself no comfort. Whenever there was a thunderstorm, her mother used to soothe her by rubbing her back. The sudden nostalgia led tears to form at the corner of hers; Hinami quickly rubbed them and shook her head. She couldn’t think about her mother’s death now. She plopped her head onto her pillow, shutting her eyes, her fingers trembled as she waited for another strike of lightning from her windows. Hinami had no one to comfort her, then realization trickled into her mind.

Ayato.

Hinami shook her head at that thought, her neck flushed at her last encounter with him. Suddenly, in the midst of thoughts, a loud and clamorous noise exploded from outside, and it seemed like the thunder was right behind her ear. Terrified, Hinami flew her covers off and hurried towards Ayato’s room, banging on it with her fists; her tears flowing down her cheeks.

“Ayato, Ayato!” She screamed. Abruptly, the door flew open, Ayato faced her with drowsy eyes, but concern lined his forehead. His hair was disheveled and curled around his ears. If they were in any other circumstance, Hinami would’ve sputtered at his appearance, and looked away with a bashful expression. However, all Hinami felt was fear and she just wanted to be in someone’s arms, enclosed with warmth.

“Woah, woah,” Ayato said, gripping her arms. “You okay? What happened?”

Hinami lowered her eyes and looked at his bare feet. She saw the defined muscles that lined his skin, and the faint veins. She blushed, but then suddenly realized why she was at his door.

“I’m scared of thunder,” She whispered. At Hinami’s words, Ayato rubbed her shoulder and pressed his lips to her forehead. She widened her eyes in surprise, but she made no effort of denying his contact. 

“Hmm, so are you asking me if I want to cuddle with you?” Ayato whispered, his lips were wet on her skin, and she shivered. Suddenly, his statement dawned across her features and she tried to move back, but his clutch on her arms was firm.

“Um…” Hinami muttered, not refuting or agreeing. Ayato chuckled and moved back. “It’s okay, I always dreamed of cuddling with you,” Ayato winked, then he clasped her hand, bringing her towards his bed. 

“It’s okay, I always dreamed of cuddling with you,” Ayato winked, then he clasped her hand, bringing her towards his bed. He sat next to her and smiled, their faces were close, and Hinami traced her eyes down his face; trying to absorb every inch of his skin. Silence enfolded them and the only sound that was heard were the quiet taps of the rain on the windows. He lowered his gaze towards her lips, and on instinct, she licked them. This resulted in a groan from Ayato.

“You’re killing me, Hina.” He growled, then peppered light kisses underneath her chin. Hinami gasped and clutched his shirt. Suddenly, another boom of thunder reverberated from the outside, making Hinami tremble. Ayato’s arms enclosed around her, which made Hinami open her eyes and stare at his dark ones. Earnest and tender emotions swirled in them and all of Hinami’s terror completely disappeared.

“I’m going to protect you,” Ayato muttered in her ear, his lips traced her earlobe. Hinami sighed and shivered. She felt her panties grow wet at the low timbre of his voice.

“Thank you, Ayato,” She replied, her voice was soft with desire. Hearing it, Ayato gently trailed his fingers up her stomach, as if he was trying to memorize all the patterns of her skin into his mind.

“You’re so beautiful,” Ayato mumbled, then he grasped one of Hinami’s breasts into his large hands. She wasn’t wearing a bra and the fabric of her pajamas was loose, and that allowed Ayato to aimlessly trail his hands to wherever he desired. Hinami whimpered at the contact and took her shirt off.

“Ayato, your hands feel so good,” Hinami said, biting her lips, moaning. Ayato gave her a sensual smile. 

“My cock feels much better,” Ayato whispered dangerously in her ear, then he bit the corner then quickly sucked on the bottom portion. Hinami moaned lowly and gripped the strands of his hair. Ayato kept sucking for a few moments before giving her a peck on the lips, and then said, “But since you love my hands so much, let’s put it to good use.” 

Hinami was too busy drowning in her arousal to be red-faced of his naughty words. She pulled him into a deep kiss, his tongue massaged hers, then she slowly pulled out; their saliva dripping down from in between their chins.

“Ayato please, I need you inside of me,” Hinami panted as Ayato licked the skin from her collarbone to the base of her ear. He grunted, and then stood up and unbuckled his belt. Hinami sat on the bed, watching him. Her breathing was fast and jagged. Ayato quickly kicked off his pants and this allowed Hinami to fully observe his physique. Ayato was quite big, and the veins on his cock stood out. The tip was red and his balls hung loosely from between his hips; the image in front of Hinami made her mouth grow wet just by looking at it. 

Ayato walked towards her and gripped her pants and ripped it down, he was breathing just as heavily as hers, and his eyes were dark and filled with lust. He slid his finger in between the middle of her panties, applying pressure to it. Hinami cried out and grabbed his shoulders, making him laugh seductively. 

“I never knew you were that sensitive, Hinami.” She shivered whenever she heard her name escape from his tongue, it always sounded like he breathed it; and it slid across her skin like liquid, making her want to clench her thighs just to relieve the torture that Ayato is inflicting upon her.   

“Please,” Hinami begged, as he rolled his thumb on her clitoris on top of her panties. “Oh God, please, mmm, A-ayato… ahh, please. I can’t, oh my god.” Her panties were spread onto the floor, her juices visible against the lace. Ayato’s hands were now plunging in and out from her pussy, making her squirm on the bed, but it wasn’t enough, she wanted more. 

“More, Ayato,” Hinami whimpered, allowing her thoughts to escape her dirty mind. “I need more.” 

Ayato observed her from underneath his eyelashes, and then, leisurely and coquettishly, he licked off his digits. He moaned and sucked, but he watched her the whole time. Hinami wiggled her ass on the sheets, impatience oozing from her tongue as she stared at his mouth. 

“More what?” 

“Please,” Hinami whispered, panting. 

“Tell me, what do you want me to do to you, baby.” 

“I…” Hinami whined. “Ayato, I need your cock inside of me. I want you to dominate me and fuck me hard. Please, Ayato.” 

Ayato blew in between her thighs, which made Hinami tighten her legs around his shoulders and moan. Then he crawled on top of and positioned himself in between her legs. Ayato’s hair curled around his face, his eyes were hooded as he looked down at her. HIs lips parted as he breathed and Hinami felt the warmth on her face. They were inches away from one another, she scrutnized the specks in his eyes, he was so beaut –

“Ah!” Hinami cried, gripping his shoulders. Ayato thrust into her wet folds, and she felt her walls tighten and milk his cock. He groaned into her shoulder and pushed deeper. Hinami whimpered and moaned, her nails raked underneath the fabric of his shirt. He kept a slow pace and all that was heard in the room were the slaps of skin and their heavy breathing. Hinami cried louder and louder, feeling every inch of his cock inside of her. Suddenly, Ayato pulled all the way out until just the tip was inside of her, before ramming into her with full force. 

Hinami screamed in pure bliss and tears flowed down her face from the pleasure. Ayato went stiff before exploding inside her; the cum leaked down her thighs from his ejaculation. He leaned down and kissed her softly on the lips, and whispered, “look, the storm stopped.” 

[quarantined-fics]

i am falling down the tokyo ghoul rabbit hole again, send help

(or one-shot writing prompts for the ships in the tags, preferably fluffy but anything will do)

[lilacflamesss]

When I

Summary: Hinami has a surprise visit from an unexpected guest! (2.2k words) 

Warning: Major character death.

A/N: I was bored and I miss Ayahina so have this!  Please do reblog this and feel free to leave some comments!

Preview: 

I thought we made it too, Ayato-kun. 

Their world hadn’t changed at all. 

     When she hears the loud thump against her front door, Hinami doesn’t think much about it. Someone must have dropped something, or some kid must have been playing outside. She pays no mind to the sound. It’s only when she smells the heavy metallic tinge in the air that she responds. This isn’t just blood— it’s a familiar smell. She knows whose blood it is.

It’s seven in the evening and the sun has only just started to set. It’s normal for Hinami to be at home right now. Teaching is a day job. She has most of the night to herself. But not everyone is like her. The peacekeepers in the United Front and the TSC, for instance, have to work whenever they are needed to. When Hinami smells Ayato’s blood outside of her apartment, she knows something very wrong is happening. He should only just have started work today.

She’s at the door in a matter of a heartbeat. For that split second, she moves at the speed of an ukaku. She pulls the door open and Ayato falls forward, weakly managing to stop himself from falling completely with his hand. He’s lying in a pool of crimson, his clothes soaked and his skin stained in the same colour.

“Ayato-kun!” Hinami falls to her knees immediately, helping him up and leaning his trembling frame against hers. His breathing is so shallow, it’s almost as if his lungs are desperately fighting just for one more moment— perhaps, they are.

Ayato tries to sit up, pulling away from her, only to fall against her again. Hinami’s mind screams at her to do something, but at the same time, it stays a blank slate. What is she supposed to do when her beloved is bleeding himself out on her door? Does she call for help? Maybe an ambulance. Maybe calling Banjou would be better— no, that would be the best.

“Wait, I’ll call Banjou,” she says, trying to get up, only for him to pull her back down. Her knees knock against the floor again. Her white leggings and skirt are sticky, dyed dark red. Her favourite blouse is ruined as well— patches of red stain where he had rested himself on or had held onto.

“There’s no time,” he croaks out. Her stomach churns at the sounds of his voice. For a moment, she’s washed with relief that he’s well enough to talk, only for that brief moment of happiness to shatter from the realisation that he sounds far from okay. His voice is strained and raspy, like someone having just woken up with his throat clogged with sleep— except, it’s not sleep that’s clogging Ayato’s throat— it’s something else. The word dances in her mind, a horrifying capital ‘D’ flashing before her eyes. Tears sting at her ducts. No, that’s not happening. She won’t let it happen.

She’s fought so hard. She’s come so far. She had managed to make it here with everyone. She’s not losing someone again— she’s not losing him out of all people.

“You need meat,” she whimpers. He looks up at her, eyes narrowed amidst the cuts and bruises on his face. He watches her through his bangs. Drenched and sticky, the strands of his hair hang forward in clumps, plastered against his face. She’s thankful his hair is dark. At the very least, she can’t tell just how bloody his head is.

“You need meat,” she repeats, her voice weaker this time. She has no idea where to get meat in the first place. The new manufactured meat that ghouls are being made to eat nowadays cures their hunger but doesn’t help much with healing, not like raw flesh does. She looks down at him, surprised for a moment at how calm he is, watching her with a slight amusement on his face.

“Where are you going to get meat, Hinami?” he laughs.

She recalls something Touka had mentioned once. She’s seen some ghouls do it before. She adjusts their positions and undoes the button on her blouse. Her fingers fumble against the tiny buttons. She doesn’t realise how much her hands are shaking. Her body can barely function right now. Even though she isn’t the one losing blood, her limbs tremble to no ends, her throat constricts and her head spins from the nausea surfacing in her stomach. When the top three buttons are undone, she pushes her sleeve off, exposing her right shoulder. Ayato doesn’t seem bothered, aside from the way his eyes soften when they land on her bare skin.

“I’m not going to bite you, Hinami. I’m going to need much more than that to heal,” he says frankly. The way he says her name sends shivers down her spine. He never says it that much. It almost feels like he’s making himself say it; like it might be the last time he gets to do it.

“I don’t care. You can take as much as you need,” she says quickly. The tears are falling already. Ayato laughs, shaking his head. He raises a weak hand to her face, swiping his thumb against the tear tracks on her cheeks one at a time. She feels the warmth of his touch, mostly from the blood he leaves behind, and all it does is create more tears.

“Human meat. If you have human meat—”

“Gonna kill someone for me now?” he chuckles. “Leave it, Hinami. You’ll get into trouble.”

“I don’t care,” she sobs. “If it’s to save you I don’t care.”

She’s such a hypocrite, she thinks. She remembers all the times Ayato had to work for her— all the times he had to take on additional burdens onto his exhausted shoulders— just because Hinami was so consumed with her morals and beliefs that killing is wrong and that she can never bring herself to do it. She wonders where those morals are right now. She wonders how she can’t even be bothered about them at this moment. She’s surprised, even, at how she’s silently hoping a human will suddenly show up before her right now so she can do that deed.

She had stopped Touka from killing the investigator the other time for revenge over her parents’ death. She realises now how difficult that decision must have been for Touka, yet how easy it is to make the choice for the sake of your loved ones. Like how Touka had killed to protect Hinami, Hinami realises she will kill if it’s to protect Ayato.

“Fucking idiot,” Ayato grumbles. He coughs, shaking his head as he stumbles to straighten himself out. He falls back against her right now. Hinami can feel his annoyance from the way he moves; he must hate feeling so weak. But there’s nothing that he can do, not when he’s not allowing her to do anything either.

“What happened—”

“I wanted to see you, Hinami,” he answers instead. “When I was lying there and bleeding the fuck out, all I could think was about how I wanted to see you.”

He pauses, breaking out into a coughing fit, blood spluttering out of his mouth. He heaves as he breathes. His breaths are tighter, like as if there’s a big hole in his lungs that is swallowing up all the oxygen he’s taking in, leaving him empty and grasping at nothing even when he’s fighting so hard to stay alive.

“Just like… when I was dragging the half-assed bastard out of Dragon. Or when we broke into Cochlea. Or when I tried to run back into the auction hall… I didn’t want to go, not without seeing you one more time. All I knew… was I just wanted to see Hina one more time,” he says. He coughs again and brings an arm up to his mouth, rubbing his sleeve against his lips. “Fuck… Fuck, not now… Fuck.”

“Ayato-kun, it will be okay,” Hinami says. She looks around her apartment. Her phone is just a short distance away. She can’t reach it with her arms, but with her rinkaku limb, she easily manages to pick it up and bring it over. She holds Ayato tightly against her with one hand as she tries her best to unlock her phone to call Banjou. It’s hard to use a smartphone with her hands being so wet and bloody. The screen refuses to respond. No. No no no. Please. She prays silently for help as she tries to work it. She’s right about to call Banjou when Ayato’s coughs again, his body lurching forward as he retches. Banjou fades to the back of her mind as he falls against her, limp and weak. Her phone falls to the floor, splattering into the pool beneath her. She’s holding him with two hands, hugging him as tight as she can while rubbing her back.

“No.” His voice sounds like a sob. She can’t see his face with him bent over like that, but from the way his body moves, she knows he’s crying. She’s never seen him cry before, not even at the worst of moments, not even when he was in Death’s grasp the last time. “Not now… Not now… I thought… we made it.”

I thought we made it too, Ayato-kun.

Their world hadn’t changed at all.

~~~ 

     Her phone keeps ringing. She hasn’t met anyone since that day. She hasn’t talked to anyone. She hasn’t been to work. She hasn’t gone out. She doesn’t answer the door. She barely ate anything, surviving on whatever leftovers she has in her fridge. It isn’t too bad. She doesn’t have much of an appetite either, nor is she too fond of walking out of her room and into the kitchen. The kitchen is in the other end of the apartment, past the living room and past her front door, where that had happened.

The door had been cleaned. Banjou and Tsukiyama had taken care of that as she sat aside, shakily watching them in horror. The blood was wiped off completely. The smell had long faded. The doorway no longer held any evidence of what had happened. It’s like all of it never happened. It feels too hopeful— one day he might burst in with the usual scowl he has on his face before throwing himself on his couch and acting as if he owns the apartment.

But she knows that is merely wishful thinking. Her clothes from that day are still bloody. She hadn’t come around to do her laundry yet. She hadn’t changed her phone case either. It’s still stained red after she had left it in his blood for hours before picking it up again.

She can’t change the fact that he’s gone. Banjou had filled her in on what he believes had happened. It’s just a normal mission. It wasn’t supposed to be dangerous. Someone of Ayato’s calibre and ability shouldn’t have run into any problem with it. The team had been small. When they ran into Shikorae, there was nothing they could do. They were overpowered. Of course, being the self-sacrificing idiot that he was, he had ordered his squad to retreat while he held off their former comrade. 

Had Ayato always been that weak? Hinami hadn’t seen him fight in ages. They aren’t partners anymore. She isn’t there to support him any more. Maybe she should have agreed to fight as well. Maybe she shouldn’t have chickened out when she was given the chance to do something else instead. Even if she hates fighting and killing, maybe she should have gone along with him. They’re partners; they’re stronger together.

This is all my fault.

“Hinami,” Touka voice sounds out from the voicemail. “Hinami, the funeral is at 10. Please come. He’d want you here.”

Ghouls had always mourned their dead in silence. They had never been given the opportunity to commemorate their deceased with grandeur the way humans had. They never had the chance for final farewells. Not until now. But the thought of going there and seeing him again sickens her. She doesn’t want to see him one more time. She doesn’t want to see his pretty face all cleaned and made up. She doesn’t want that facade, not when she had witnessed the reality. He had not gone as peacefully and painlessly as his corpse might suggest in the funeral. In fact, it’s quite on the contrary. His body had been littered with wounds. He had been torn apart. He had bled himself to death. His final moments had been nothing but pain.

He’d want you here. How can the dead want anything? Going won’t change anything. 

She doesn’t want to attend the funeral. She doesn’t want to go on without him. All she wants to do is lie in bed, curled up in his coat— his favourite fur-lined one which he had given her back when he saved her in Cochlea and she had forgotten to return afterwards. It no longer smells as strongly of him as it used to, but in her life that is now completely void of his presence, nothing can smell better. She buries her face into the fabric and she doesn’t bother stopping the sobs that escape her lips and the tears that continue to fall. 

I’m sorry, Ayato-kun.

Come back, Ayato-kun.

I miss you, Ayato-kun.

Don’t leave me alone, Ayato-kun.

I love you, Ayato-kun.

~~~

A/N: I was really really bored. The title was based on one of my favorite BEAST songs called When I. I had meant to write more on Hinami’s thoughts after he died so I named it based on that song but then I got lazy so whatever.  Once again, please please do reblog if you like this! It’ll really help me out. Feel free to leave comments in the tags/ reblogs/ replies or through asks!

[attackonlingling]

How Civilizations End

A/N: I always imagined that Tomoe (Hakatori) and Ayato have some kind of friendship going on — they’re not too far apart in age and they’re both Tatara’s kids lol — and wondered how it plays out with Hinami in the picture.

So I wrote this on a whim after rereading chapter 124 where Hakatori comments to Takizawa on how the sense of smell destroys civilizations (Takizawa atom bombs lol :p). This is the first fic I’ve ever posted on my newly-created tumblr. I’m thinking of editing it and expanding the story though. Please feel free to comment and reblog ^^

Hope you enjoy!

Tatara once said, people with good noses are real bad news.

“The act of finding things by sniffing them out always leads to devastation. It’s what destroys civilizations. Be weary of people with a sharp sense of smell,” he said.

Tomoe didn’t quite understand what Tatara meant at the time, so she simply nodded and went about her day.

She had the day off, so she decided she was going to take her time to relax and sketch. An old ghoul who shared her interest in botany happened to procure a pot of Evelyn Roses, and was generous enough to lend her the plant to sketch.

On her way to get her art supplies, she bumped into Ayato and Fueguchi in the hallway. It occured to her that she hadn’t hung out with Ayato in quite a while.

Back in the day, it was just the two of them — her and Ayato. Though there were other children in the Aogiri Tree, children were generally charged with menial tasks, non-combat roles such as cleaning or chopping up meat. As the only child combatants of the Aogiri, being only two years apart, the two found a friendship between missions and daily survival.

And then Fueguchi Hinami showed up. Fueguchi, out of place as ever among the Aogiri recruits, was assigned under the care of Ayato. At the beginning, Ayato had complained about having to babysit Fueguchi; nowadays it seemed like they were attached at the hip, always together on working days or off days.

“Did you just come back from a mission?” Tomoe asked.

“Yeah, I’m calling it a day. On your day off, eh?” Ayato replied.

“Those flowers are so pretty, Tomoe-chan! They smell so nice, too, like a perfume my mother used to wear. Enjoy your day off,” Fueguchi said as they parted ways.

“Yeah? I can hardly smell anything right now,” Ayato continued the conversation with Fueguchi.

Tomoe watched Ayato and Fueguchi as they headed towards their neighboring rooms.

Why is it that he always reeks of blood after missions, yet she still smells like perfume?

I hope he doesn’t get into trouble.

—

The air was tense in the 19th ward base.

“Yamori, Bin… All those that died… Is everyone in the Aogiri just a replaceable piece to you?”

“That’s right. Stray dogs should just behave like stray dogs, Ayato.” Tatara dismissed the visibly upset young man in front of him.

The mention of her dearly beloved brothers in such a manner stung Tomoe’s heart, but she reasoned with herself, Tatara was only trying to set Ayato straight. Ayato’s demands were absurd! The last time Aogiri stormed Cochlea, countless lives were lost. A whole decoy operation had been set in motion just to weaken Cochlea’s security — an operation in which her brothers perished. How many more would have lost their lives had they decided to raid Cochlea a third time?

And just for Fueguchi?

Fueguchi heard a sound. Fueguchi picked up a scent. And Fueguchi went AWOL. Fueguchi made a choice.

And yet… even stray dogs’ lives mean something, right?

A few days after, Ayato asked Tomoe out of the blue, “Is it possible to fight for something, but at the same time keep sacrificing that same thing, over and over again, until there’s nothing left?”

“…What are you getting at, Ayato? Is this about —”

“Are you happy here, Tomoe?” he cut.

…

People with good noses really are bad news.

—

Ayato had been acting strange lately. He was always the type of person who was very hands on with his work; he really wasn’t big on delegating. However, these past few months he had mostly hung back on missions and let his subordinates do most of the work. Empowering subordinates is great and all, but for some reason it left an unsettling feeling in Tomoe’s stomach.

“The sooner you do it yourself, the better,”  Tomoe recalled his words during their handover period before she took over as Tatara’s direct subordinate, “After I’m gone, it’s all you.”

He also wasn’t the type of person that would miss meetings, unless he had Aogiri business to attend to. So when Tatara asked where Ayato was during the meeting, she knew something was wrong. She curtly dismissed herself and ran to the docks.

Seeing a lone figure in the distance, she tightened her clench on her quinqe and prayed her hunch was wrong.

—

Sadly, she was right.

“Ayato.”

He spun around and saw her, quinqe in hand.

“Tatara’s looking for you. He needs to go over some plans with you about logistics on Rushima.”

“Are you going to kill me?” he cut to the chase. Tomoe wasn’t stupid, there was no point in trying to make up excuses.

Tomoe ignored his words, “There will be equipment transportation for dr. Kanou from the 20th ward to Rushima. Since you’re familiar with the area, you’re the best person to oversee that job.”

“I’m sorry, Tomoe.”

“According to intel, there’s been suspicious movement around Kanou. We suspect it might be from a ghoul called The Serpent. You might want to watch out for that one.”

“I’m leaving.”

Silence.

Are you happy here, Tomoe?

…

Aogiri is all I have, Ayato.

“Come with me, Tomoe.”

She threw her sword and it flew past him, barely missing his cheek as it stabbed the tree behind him. Yet he remained on the spot, unflinching, feet planted firmly on the ground.

“Cut it out, Ayato! You’ve worked so hard for this —  we’ve all worked so hard for this. We finally have a fighting chance against the CCG and you’re backing out now? Please… stay.”

“You know I can’t do that, Tomoe.”

“Is she worth it?” Ah, that burning sensation behind her eyes. “Does she mean that much that you’d leave all of us, just like that?” Do we mean that little to you?

A silence fell upon them, neither knowing what to say. After what felt like an eternity, Ayato took a deep breath and closed his eyes, turning to walk away from her to the docks. So that’s your answer, Tomoe thought, This really is it.

After a few steps, he stopped.

“Tomoe,” back turned on her, he shifted ever so slightly, “I’ll come back for you.”

So stay alive.

—

A few weeks later, during a meeting, Tatara asked for a follow-up on a particular mission that involved tracking and stopping the movements of a rogue ghoul organization.

“Well,” Miza sighed, “In Ayato’s absence, the team was ill-coordinated in that mission, leading the target to be able to disperse before we caught them. We have not yet been able to track them. And honestly, ever since we lost Fueguchi, we’re hard-pressed to find as good a tracker as she was.”

Ah, so this is how civilizations end.

—

Thanks for reading, guys! :)

Sorry if I made any mistakes!

[phxntomhive-ghoul]

HOLY FUCK SHIT I’M SHAKIN GGGG

IT’S CANON BITCH IT’S CANONNNNNNNNNNBNNNN I CANNO T BELIEVE

I’m so fucking happy y’all have no idea I’ve been waiting for this for so long????? I’ll make a full post on my opinions on the ending itself later tonight (hopefully it’ll be translated by then)

[elusiveangel-fic]

Who has thoughts on an Ayahina tangled au because I wanna write something that isn’t a wip I already have posted

[ayahinanetwork]

Sicilian Defense (Chapter 2)

Tokyo Ghoul Vampire AU

Summary: Unexpectedly changed into a vampire, Fueguchi Hinami finds herself thrown into a completely different world. Now enrolled into the prestigious Anteiku Academy as a member of the elite Night Class, Hinami slowly steps deeper into the realm of these monsters. Dealing with her ever-changing world and state, she becomes dependant on those around her, yet at the same time, poses them a danger greater than any of them could expect. As her thirst reaches closer to the point of no return, Hinami finds herself becoming increasingly drawn to the blood of her dorm leader, the sheltered Prince of an ancient pureblood vampire clan, Kirishima Ayato. As a former enemy resurfaces, will Hinami be able to protect her world from their interference?

Chapters: 1

A/N: Hello again everyone! Me (Mod Alice) and Mod Far finally finished chapter two! First of all I’d like to say thank you for the positive response to chapter 1! We were both very glad to see it, and you got us very motivated with your comments. This chapter is will still introduce a lot of things, but I hope some parts of it will have your interest piqued! Also, enjoy Ayato’s introduction~ Please do reblog this and feel free to leave some comments!

Chapter 2

Brought into Anteiku Academy, Hinami is facing the start of her new life - gaining a new family, discovering more about vampires, as well as meeting people from the Night Class she’ll be joining, already facing new hurdles with them. (8k)

She’s never really been bothered by the sun too much. In fact, Hinami really loves the sun. She spent the whole of her childhood playing in the small garden in her backyard, chasing butterflies amidst the flowers as she basks in the sunshine. But it feels different now. She’s a creature of the night— or soon to be one. Her body has changed. Walking behind Kaneki and Touka, Hinami winces as the rays burn into her skin and she’s tempted to run into the shades of the trees nearby to cool herself down.

“Won’t you turn to dust if you’re out in the sun?” Hinami had asked Touka earlier on, horrified as she watched the vampire throw open the doors of her mansion in broad daylight. Touka had laughed and stepped out and more so out of instinct, Hinami had cried out in distress, reaching forward towards her. Touka’s laugh continued and she twirled herself around outside, completely whole, completely solid and completely alive.

“Don’t trust those stupid vampire stories, silly. Most of them are untrue,” Touka had said as Kaneki ushered her out as well.

Apparently it seems that vampires do not die under the sun, but they’re still not so fond of it. Touka had explained that once one had lived for as long as she has, the sun doesn’t really bother them anymore. On the other hand, younger vampires like her brother still struggle to get used to it and would hole themselves up indoors during the day.

Hinami had wondered how old Touka is. She looked to be in her twenties, but at the same time she gave off a much more mature and powerful air. There was also something about her conversation with Kaneki that made Hinami believe that this woman is a powerful and influential person among the vampires— someone like that, especially among immortal creatures, can’t possibly be so young, right? While curious, Hinami swallowed her question. It’s rude to ask a woman her age and besides, Hinami wondered if she’d be able to continue seeing Touka in the same light if she ended up being much older than Hinami had expected her to be. Instead, Hinami focused her attention on something else.

“Your brother?”

“Yes, my brother, Ayato. You’ll meet him later. He’s really young— practically a baby,” Touka had chuckled.

“Is he a pureblood too?”

“Yes, he is.”

“I’m sure he’s cute.”

“Sure he is. He looks just like me.” Touka’s eyes were glinting as she spoke of her brother and Hinami was sure she adored him more than anything. She imagined a smaller version of Touka, maybe a chubby baby boy, and she agreed— indeed, he must be very cute if he had inherited from their parents the same looks Touka had. Kaneki had watched them with a cheeky look, though he remained silent as they headed towards the academy.

————

Situated past deep woods, Anteiku Academy is an isolated, yet sophisticated campus. Standing outside the gate, Hinami’s mouth falls open. This is no school— it’s practically a castle. The buildings stand taller than any school she’s seen before, with the school’s emblem intricately carved onto it. The brown brick walls and pointed blue roofs reminds her of the pictures of ancient, medieval palaces she’s seen in her mother’s books.

She follows behind Kaneki and Touka as they walk through the hallways. The place was eerily silent, sending chills up her spine. She reminds herself that it’s all in her mind, that she’s too caught up in thinking about the fact that this is a school for vampires. The hallways are quiet, but it’s because classes are ongoing and there is no one walking about on campus, not because that it’s haunted or something after being inhabited like monsters like vampires.

Monsters… Hinami wonders if she should really stop referring to them as that that. Touka is clearly far from a monster; she’s kind, friendly and really warm. No one who’s been so patient and helpful can be a monster, after all.

Eventually, what about Hinami herself? She too will turn into a vampire. Does that mean she’ll become a monster too? She gulps at the thought, wondering what kind of person she’ll change into, if she even changes into a different kind of person. She’s only known two vampires and they’re both completely different people.

They walk out of campus though the back exit, only for Hinami to be further surprised by the sight before her. The walkway out of the school leads to a split right ahead, entering deeper into a bunch of trees. Touka and Kaneki took the path heading right and Hinami merely follows like a puppy after its owner. It seems like the trees are really just a small clump, rather than another set off woods and going past them, she’s greeted with the sight of a glittering blue lake that stretches out as far beyond the horizon, merely impeded by an island in the middle which seemed to be mainly covered by more woods.

Crossing the bridge, Hinami’s able to see right across to the other side. There’s a similar bridge a short distance away, which she assumes is where the other path from the split earlier leads to. The two bridges were practically alike. The mere difference laid in the gates at the end. While the gate right in front of her had a huge crescent-shaped emblem on it, the other one had a sun.

“We’re headed towards the Moon Dorms,” Kaneki explained as they walked through the gates. “Here’s where the vampires stay in the day before their lessons at night. Hinami-chan, you’ll be living here as well.”

“So you’re gonna take me to my room?” Hinami asks.

“Not, exactly…” Kaneki says. “For now, let’s go to my residence. We have some paper work for you to settle and I’ll explain the school a little better.”

There is a building right ahead of them, but Touka and Kaneki turned to a small path and walked away from it before Hinami can even take a good look at it. At quick glance, it did seem as illustrious as the rest of the school, but she didn’t have enough time to really study it.

She’s led to another building and Hinami’s head swims in the number of buildings she’s seen just that day itself. The campus is far bigger than she had expected it, even from the moment she first stepped into the main building. She wonders how much it had cost for the school to be set up and maintained, but after realizing how wealthy Touka seemed to have been based on  her house, she assumes it’s probably not too impossible a feat for Kaneki and Touka to achieve this.

The new building she’s led to is thankfully smaller and less intimidating. Still, it’s nowhere near the size of her former home. Her house feels like a gardening shed beside all these structures. She’s never really thought of herself as poor or underprivileged. Instead, she’s always thought that her family had been pretty well-to-do. She knows now that she was wrong and that there’s far more wealth in the world in the hands of people who were far above her.

Then again, this is the vampire society, isn’t it? Things are surely different.

“Welcome to my humble home,” Kaneki says as they step in. After Touka’s mansion, Hinami nods in agreement at the statement. Kaneki’s house is cozy and comfortable, much more homely than the extravagant Kirishima mansion was.

Kaneki leads her up the flight of stairs and down a corridor. He pushes open the door at the end, and she’s led into a room that seems to resemble a study. Despite the fact that the lights are turned off, the place is still bright, thanks to the full-length glass windows that line the wall in front of them, letting sunlight stream in to brighten every corner of the room. Kaneki takes a seat at the desk in front of her, reaching below as he rummages through something.

“Hinami-chan, don’t be shy, please take a seat!” he calls out, voice muffled a little from him looking away from her. Touka pushes her forward lightly and she goes to take a seat in one of the two chairs in front of the chair. Kaneki raises his head and pulls out a couple of papers, laying them out in front of her.

“We’ve already filled out the stuff based on what you told us. I hope it’s all correct,” he says. Hinami’s eyes scan the pages, running quickly through familiar words and date. She tries not to think too much as she reads her parents’ names out silently to herself, merely looking up and forcing out a smile, nodding at Kaneki. Kaneki smiles at her. “Great! Well, since you technically need a guardian, I took it upon myself to list myself as it.”

“Huh? Why?” Hinami asks.

“Ah… because Touka-chan told me to,” Kaneki says, looking at the vampires standing right beside Hinami. Hinami turns to her, only to see her scowl at Kaneki before she looks down at Hinami and smiles.

“Well, Hinami, you’re technically still a minor and you’ve been orphaned. The government would see to it that you’ll taken care of normally, but there’s a little problem with your case,” she explains. “You were attacked by a pureblood, not a normal vampire, so the humans can’t hope to deal with it and we rather the news about purebloods not get out as well… Since we don’t want them interfering, we decided to present ourselves as friends of your family and take you in. I hope that’s fine with you?”

Touka’s eyes soften as she spoke. The explanation is vague and Hinami knows that she isn’t being given the full picture here, but she feels she can trust Touka and Kaneki despite not even knowing them. Maybe she’s being naive, but Hinami’s always been a little too easy when it comes to trusting people. Kaneki and Touka were nice to her when she woke up and they were beside her as she cried for her parents. Such nice people can’t possibly have any ulterior motive, can they?

“I’m fine with it. I guess we’re some kind of family now,” Hinami laughs, scratching the back of her head.

“I guess we are. Go ahead and call me your father if you want,” Kaneki jokes, smirking playfully.

“Father…? Aren’t you a little too young for that? You’re more like a big brother,” Hinami points out. Touka and Kaneki exchanged mischievous glances at her statement, before Kaneki chuckles in response.

“I suppose so.”  

“Then… is it okay if I call you Onii-chan?” Hinami asks slowly. She ignores the cheeky looks that continue to hang on Touka and Kaneki’s faces, trying her best not to let them bother her too much.

“You can call me whatever you want that makes you comfortable,” Kaneki says, getting up and walking to a corner, where there seems to be a pantry. “Do you want a drink, Hinami?”

She realises her throat is dry and she nods. As Kaneki pours her a drink, she watches his back, silently repeating their conversation in her head. Onii-chan… Onii-chan… The thought of having a brother beside her seems to make her feel a little lighter, though it makes her think of her previous family a lot more as well. But all she’s ever had were her family and now they’re gone. She’s never had too many friends and she’s never known anyone else. Touka and Kaneki are strangers, but even then, she finds herself wanting to be with them; not wanting to be alone.

“Then… Touka-san… Can I call you Onee-chan as well?” she asks softly, hesitating a little. She doesn’t turn to look at Touka. Instead, her eyes drop from Kaneki’s back to her hands, watching as her fingers fiddle with one another. She hears Touka shuffle slightly and she feels a hand being placed on her shoulder, squeezing it lightly.

“You can call me whatever you want,” she murmurs. “As long as it makes you feel better, I’m fine with it.”

Kaneki returns with a glass of water, bringing it to her and placing it down in front of her. She takes it, thanks him and starts to drink. It hadn’t hit her how thirsty she had been until she starts drinking, but even after she downs the glass, she feels that the thirst had yet to quench and her throat still aches somewhat from wanting more to drink. She swallows her saliva instead, forcing herself to smile at Kaneki.

“Thank you!” She places the glass on the table and Kaneki nods at her, clasping his hands together after he takes his seat back in his place.

“Now, more to serious stuff,” he says. “Hinami-chan, you’re going to be enrolled here, in Anteiku Academy, as a Night Class student, so you’ll be with the vampires. The human students are in the Day Class instead. Your lessons will be at night, so you’ll have to get used to sleeping in the day. Eventually, you’ll prefer this arrangement as well.”

Hinami’s hand finds its place on her neck, lightly rubbing the two holes that is now long gone. She swallows again, mind reeling at the thought of her becoming them again. How many times has she thought about it? Yet she’s still far from accepting it. All these-- it’s too surreal.

“We’re trying to test for co-existence here, but everything is still too early and too new. The vampire’s identity is still a secret. No one knows that the Night Class is made out of vampires as we’ll like to keep it that way. The Day Class is forbidden from wandering into school grounds while the Night Class has their lessons and this extends to the Night Class in daytime as well. It’s absolutely forbidden for you to drink their blood as well,” Kaneki explains.

Drink… Hinami nods as his words but she feels a chill run down her spine. Blood-- it will soon be her nutrient. What is she going to do about that? She can never imagine herself sinking her teeth into the neck of a human. Besides, what do the vampires in the Night Class drink anyway? Since they’re forbidden from drinking the blood of the Day Class students, do they have an alternate source of blood? Maybe they had a vault of human bodies somewhere for them to go to to drink the blood of. Hinami shudders at the thought.

A knock sounds on the door and Hinami jumps slightly, before she turns her head to look backwards.

“Ah, seems like he’s here,” Kaneki says.

Touka raises her eyebrow at him. “Why’d you call my brother here?”

“I thought the Dorm Leader could help her get used to some stuff as well.” Kaneki gets up and heads to the door.

Meanwhile, Hinami is confused. Kaneki had called Touka’s brother a dorm leader and it probably meant that he was in charge of the dorms, but Touka had called him a baby. Hinami arcs her neck, looking behind as she watches Kaneki open the door.

“Ayato-kun! Glad you could come,” Kaneki says. He steps aside for the newcomer to step in and Hinami’s eyes widens. The boy standing by the door is no baby. In fact, he seems to be taller than Kaneki, though his body is leaner and less broad. Even then, Hinami just knew he is well-built.

It’s impossible to deny the resemblance between him and Touka. Touka was right in that sense; he did look just like her. Save for more defined jaws, he looks like a carbon copy of his sister-- the same blue hair, the same dark eyes and the same intense, yet alluring aura that makes it impossible for her to tear her gaze away from him.

“Ayato-kun, this is Hinami-chan, the girl we were telling you about,” Kaneki introduces, gesturing over to her. Ayato eyes her for a moment, before he gives her a slight nod. “Hinami-chan, this is Kirishima Ayato-kun. He’s the Dorm Leader for the Moon Dorm, so you’ll be in his care.”

“Oh… Nice to… meet you,” she says slowly, stammering a little as her voice catches in her throat. She realises she sounds embarrassing and that realisation is enough to turn her attention away from him as she turns around and plops herself back properly onto the chair. Touka lets out a slight chuckle at her reaction and Hinami glances up to her.

“What? Have you fallen in love with him already?” Touka teases and Hinami’s sure her face was bursting into millions of different shades of red.

“No… No… I--”

“I don’t blame you. He has that effect, as expected from a Prince, don’t you think?” Touka chuckles.

“P-Prince?”

“Oh, didn’t we tell you?” Kaneki asks, walking up to her, now holding a paper bag in his hand. Hinami hadn’t seen the bag before so she assumes Ayato must have brought it along with him. Ayato follows behind Kaneki, walking over to stand by the table as Kaneki takes a seat again. “Touka is the Queen of vampires and Ayato’s the Prince. The Kirishimas are the royalty of their society.”

Hinami blinks, staring at Kaneki, then at Touka, Ayato and then back at Kaneki again. Knowing that she’s been associating with vampires is one thing, but realising that vampires aren’t loose monsters running about the darkness of society is another thing; they have their own society, with enough organization and hierarchy that there’s even a monarchy among them.

Is that why the Kirishima mansion is so big? It’s a castle.

“Onee-chan… you--”

“Don’t think too much about it! Here, time to change!” Kaneki cuts in, holding out the bag towards Hinami. She takes it from him and looks in, noticing that there was a set of clothes in there, purely white aside from occasional black lines, which initially looked like stripes but seems to be some other kind of pattern after she had stared at them for a short while. “It’s your uniform. You’re allowed to wear anything you want at your dorms of course, but for class, you’ll be wearing that.”

“Come on, let’s go change,” Touka says. She takes Hinami by the hand and starts pulling her away, leaving Kaneki and Ayato in that room as they leave it and head to another room down the hallway. The room Touka had pulled her into looks like a normal bedroom and while it is a little bigger that her room back at home, it felt more homely than the one back at the Kirishima mansion.

Touka helps her take out the clothes from the bag and lays them down on the bed. The design of the uniform takes her completely by surprised. Now unfolded and smoothened out, the intricate patterns and the distinct color choices were striking. She didn’t need other evidences to show that this really is the uniform of an elite school.

The uniform consisted of a long-sleeved white blouse, a skirt that fans outwards a little more than the usual school skirt does and a heavy-looking jacket. While it did look uncomfortable at first glance, it takes her by surprise when she pulls it on and finds that it actually is really snug to wear. It’s not as stuffy as it looks and the outfit as a whole feels really light and easy to move in. The jacket isn’t as bulky at it had seemed as well. In fact it hugs the midsection of her torso in a manner, not in a sexually appealing manner, but in a manner that is still nice to look at. Touka pulls out a pair of boots and a stockings out of the bag as well and Hinami pulls them on immediately. As she stands to admire herself in the mirror, Touka walks over behind her and reaches forward.

“The final touch,” she says as she pulls on a necklace. The necklace seems to be ordained with the rose-patterned emblem she had seen all over the school-- what she had assumed to be the school’s logo. With that on, Touka shifts a little to admire Hinami’s reflection and a wide smile appears on her face. “You look beautiful.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I think you’ll make a nice bride for Ayato…” As she speaks, she raises her hand to rub her chin playfully, watching as Hinami chokes in response.

“Onee-chan! That is--”

“You were staring at him so much!”

“That’s because I was so surprised. You had said he’s a baby!” Hinami insists. Her eyes fix on Touka’s through the mirror. Touka still has her amused expression on, clearly enjoying Hinami’s reactions.

“He’s only seventeen. We’re purebloods so we’re immortal and we can live for thousands of years,” Touka explains. “Even I am fairly young. If we assume an average pureblood lives up to ten thousand years before they’re killed off somehow, even I’m still a kid. Ayato’s like a human fetus still in its mother’s womb.”

Hinami’s reminded once again what very different kind of creatures they are and once again it hits her that she’s going to be stepping into that world and become just like them. Ayato’s the same age as her, but Hinami’s always been regarded as a young lady on the brink of stepping into adulthood, but Ayato, despite living for the same length as her, is barely even a child.

More questions burn in Hinami’s mind as she thinks about them, but she’s too scared to ask. How old is Touka? Is she far too old for Hinami’s comprehension? Is she at an age Hinami can never accept? She claimed to be young, but she’s old enough to think that a seventeen-year-old is a baby. What’ll happen when Hinami turns? Will she become immortal as well? Is she also doomed to eternal life? Does she have to continue bearing that emptiness in her heart that her parents’ death had left her? She can’t imagine living for no ends.

------

Ayato watches his sister drag out the girl who’s clearly far too confused and has definitely only been fed with half-truths about the whole situation. No, maybe even less than that. He knows his sister and the Headmaster feed him with half-truths, so he bets they had given her half of that-- quarter truths.

The moment Touka and Hinami were out of the room and the door had slammed in their faces, the air takes an immediate change. Ayato turns to Kaneki, who now has his attention on the papers in front of him.

“Do you still want to see Naki and I later?” he asks.

Kaneki doesn’t look up. “Yes, I would like to give you an official briefing as Dorm Leader and his assistant, but for now, Ayato-kun, let me discuss this with you as a former member of the Hunter’s Association with you, the Pureblood Prince.”

Their official places in society-- this must be serious.

Ayato takes a seat in the chair Hinami had just been sitting on, though allowing himself to relax far more than she had. Between the two of them, he’s in a position above Kaneki anyway. He doesn’t have to worry too much about appearances. He leans back into the chair, crosses his legs and rests his arms on the sides. Kaneki looks up at him, staring at him intently, before sighing.

“The Association is to never know of what happened with Hinami. It is a crime for a Pureblood to turn unwilling humans into vampires and such an act can be seen as an act of war against the humankind, especially considering the particular pureblood that did it… though unfortunately, I can’t tell you who it is--”

“Someone from the Yoshimura household?” Ayato cuts in with a random guess. “I don’t know anything about them, but the Old Man left behind some people after he died or something, right?”

“I didn’t say it’s them…”

“You did say an act of war… The only families influential enough for that are the Kirishimas, Yomos and the Yoshimuras. I doubt it’s my uncle who did it. He’s barely left the house,” Ayato points out.

Kaneki grimaces at Ayato’s words, rubbing his temples lightly. “Touka-chan’s gonna kill me.”

“The only person I know from that family is the Old Man though… but he was one for peace so why would his family even do this?”

“Ayato-kun, just because one person thinks in one way, it doesn’t mean everyone agrees with that person. For instance, just because your sister is helping me out in this and she believes wholeheartedly in our cause, do you agree that humans and vampires can live in permanent peace?”  

The case with Hinami is evident enough to prove his own thoughts about the situation. Ayato had never actually thought that way-- there’s too much of a power imbalance for there to be permanent coexistence. He just went with the flow when Touka told him to take on the role as Dorm Leader. In fact, he did it partly because it was the only reason he could use to get out of his house. Touka wouldn’t let him out otherwise, especially after the incident with their parents, Touka’s been too insistent that a Pureblood Prince who’s still learning his powers was probably safer at home.

He’s been a sheltered prince all his life. Even though his parents had been a little more open with him than Touka was subsequently, they had never formally introduced him to the vampire society as well. Of course, it made sense since he was too young when they were killed-- pureblood kids are only introduced when they’re a little older. Even now, he hasn’t had an official introduction to most of the society, though he’s pretty much of age already. Touka had mentioned him to everyone else, but mainly to strengthen the Kirishimas’ hold on power to prevent the society from falling into a power vacuum. She has a younger brother, much younger than her. She doesn’t have her own children or anything, but the Kirishima family line at least has one heir to the throne. That, and the backing of the Yomo clan and the patriarch of the Yoshimura clan back in those days, had managed to reassert Touka’s dominance over the vampires as the Queen.

But while his sister is the lynchpin of their society, one who knows every single dirty bit of gossip and rumor floating about, Ayato’s own world is built upon secrecy and half-truths. He knows nothing about their world aside from the walls of the Kirishima mansion, and now the walls of Anteiku Academy. He’s never met a hunter before, aside from Kaneki who had retired some time back to take the place of Old Man Yoshimura as the Academy’s Headmaster. The only time he’s seen a Level E is when a mob of them were sent to attack their mansion back when he was five. The only aristocrats he know are those in the Night Class. There’s still thousands more out there. He doesn’t even know the family members of those in his class.

It’s likely that even if Kaneki is to tell him the identity of the vampire who bit Hinami, he’ll probably have never heard of the name.

Kaneki tosses something at him and he catches it. The box he had thrown is something Ayato’s seen a thousand times already and as he expected, opening it unveils tons of pills.

“Pass that to Hinami later on. Touka-chan and I need to discuss something so you can take that time to show Hinami around the Moon Dorm. Bring Naki here after you’re done and we’ll talk more,” Kaneki instructs. “I don’t expect Hinami to last really long. In fact, I think she’s already quite thirsty now. She might be turning soon so keep an eye on her.”

“Is that why she’s being admitted into the Night Class directly?”

“Yes. Please take good care of her,” Kaneki instructs. They’ve taken in ex-humans before but even then, this is way too suspicious. Kaneki continues staring at him with an authoritative look and Ayato finds himself narrowing his eyes in challenge.

“Is there something else that I should know about this?”

“No.”

“Are you sure?”

“Ayato-kun, if you’re trying to use you pureblood magic on me, it won’t work. I might be almost like a vampire, but I am still essentially human,” Kaneki says, dropping his formality with a more playful disposition that almost resembles Touka herself. It might seem cheeky, but Ayato notes a trend between these two-- the tendency to hide their secrecy under such fronts. There’s more to Hinami’s case than a mere fear of the vampire hunters and humans seeing this as an act of war-- something strong enough to drive Kaneki and Touka, especially the vampire Queen Touka, into direct action.

But unfortunately, before he can question anything else, a knock sounds on the door.

“Ah, that must be Touka and Hinami,” Kaneki chuckles, making it far too obvious that he’s relieved from the their appearance. “I guess this brings our conversation to an  end, Ayato-kun. Do show Hinami to the Moon Dorms and help her familiarise herself with the place. Keep an eye on her as well. I’ll see you and Naki in about an hour and a half.”

-----

He leads her through the Moon Dorms’ garden, the trees around them shivering under the soft breeze passing through them while both of them walked on the brick tiles leading up to something that looks more like a mansion than any dormitory she has ever had the luck to lay eyes on. The blue roof is pointed and tall, looming over those who dare enter the building. Its walls were made of pure grey stone, looking as if it was carved, carefully made so that there will be no roughness detectable.

It reminded Hinami of a simpler version of a Cathedral, those buildings who towered the believers that came to worship God, all in the mindset that God is above those believers, and that they should be scared of him just as much as adore him when they’re under his wing. She wondered if this building had the same purpose, almost. It would be immensely hypocritical of a school that promotes balance but in the end… Isn’t it right, that humans are under the vampires’ mercy?

Holding the edges of her pure white skirt nervously, Hinami glanced up at Ayato. He didn’t seem like a bad person, from what she saw and currently seeing. His sister was very nice to her as well, and their blood relation was clear from their facial features. Maybe she could hope it was the same case with him. He didn’t speak with her much while they walked, but she barely spoke a word herself, so she couldn’t judge him for that.

Still… He was a vampire prince, a pureblood much like the one that bit her. Sometimes the wound area stings, brings her memories of that night. She can almost remember the feeling of those fangs plunging beyond her skin, tearing through the vein that held her blood. She brought her fingers to the wound, touching the rough patch of skin that only lately recovered fully as if to block the outside world from it.

“We are here.” Ayato tells her, snapping her out of her thoughts. They were standing in front of two visible pillars that were a few of the base foundations of the building itself, and were the start of an outside hall that led to a big wooden door in its ending, the main entrance of the building itself. “The others are more than likely sleeping, some might be roaming around the dorm… It’s been a while, since somebody new joined. Don’t mind them if they seem too closed off.”

She nods at him, though her eyes fall back to the floor quickly afterwards. Her stomach is churning and she feels slightly sick. Ever since she was young she was more on the shy side, but right now, she’s facing her fears at the same time she dives into a new beginning. It’s terrifying, and she tries not to be stiff, especially not in front of Ayato who didn’t do anything to offend her, but it’s hard to think that behind those two giant doors there are vampires lurking, vampires that she’d have to live with, vampires that will in the end of the day, are the same as what she’s going to become.

Ayato’s lips stay in a tight line. Her muscles were tense and her heartbeat quickened its pace. It wasn’t hard to tell that she was scared, if not terrified at the thought of entering this dorm. Touka told him it was a traumatic experience for her, when that pureblood tore through her house. It would be for the better, if he helps her with the rest. “I’ll introduce you to all of them, alright? They need to start waking up soon, anyway.”

Hinami’s still nervous, but her eyes crinkle as she smiles at the gesture. “Alright. Thank you, Ayato-kun.” She says. She hopes it's okay to call him by his first name, all she wants is to try and be friendly. She watches his expression carefully, and though his eyes widen a little for a few short seconds, he doesn’t say anything about it.

“No problem… Let’s get in.” He turns his back to her, walking towards the door. She’s a few steps behind him, still hesitant but aware of the fact that right now, she has no choice. Ayato grabs the metallic, rectangle shaped handles in front of him, and the doors opened with a creak that echoed across the main hall.

Hinami is a bit awestruck. If from the outside the place looks like a mansion, the inside looks like a castle, something out of a movie. There were two staircases, both wide and heavily decorated at each side of the room, reflecting each other as if one were a mirror of the other. In the middle of it, expensive looking sofas stood, surrounding a wooden short table. Rugs and hand crafted clocks were carefully placed, and the entire huge hall was giving the feeling of a fancy living room.

It was almost saddening to think this hall alone was bigger than her former house even when it wasn’t shredded to pieces, like it is now. But no mind to the sad thoughts that still lingered, she was slack-jawed. There was an eerie beauty to the building, all the lights dimmed except those of the sun, trying to peek through the curtains, and its extravagant entrance didn’t leave room to doubt why a vampire prince resides here.

A while passes before Hinami realizes that Ayato has been staring at her, a small grin on his face. She averts her eyes from him, biting her lips at the stupid display she had put on. She eased up a little after seeing nobody new in her range of vision, but she should have known to control her expressions near people she just met.

“Hooguro, Shousei, I know you are there. Come out already.” Ayato suddenly says, and Hinami practically whips her head to where he directed his head to. Two blond men, one rugged with visible scar on his eye and another with an oddly similar haircut to the one Touka is sporting appeared, coming out of left hallway. Their eyes were squinted at her, examining and judging.

“Ayato-kun…?” She looks at him, a bit unsure of how to approach either of them – one seemed awfully intimidating, tall with sharp facial features. His arms were crossed and he didn’t look welcoming at all. The other had a bit of a wicked smirk on his face, his eyes fixated on her as if trying to stare her down. Well, until she talked at least, and he decided to frown. Hinami felt anxiety spreading down her body.

“Hinami, these two are Hooguro and Shousei Idera. They’re a part of the Night Class. Shousei, Hooguro, this is Fueguchi Hinami and she’s going to join the class.” He said, frank in his words. The two men looked between each other, exchanging unsure, and may she say, slightly dismayed looks.

Hinami swallowed as she felt Ayato looking at her back, expecting her to say something. She wringed her hands together and stepped forward. “Uh… Hello, Hooguro-san, Shousei-san.” She offered, bowing slightly. Both men tilted their head. She wondered if had done something wrong. Did she come across as weird?

“Ayato-sama, isn’t she being a bit too ru-“ One of them, Hooguro, tries to talk, but Ayato cuts him midway through.  

“No. Go wake up Naki, he knows he needs to be up earlier today. Tell him to come see me.” He says, authority present in his voice. He’s definitely the dorm’s leader, Hinami thinks. To think how both of them just scurry away under his command…

Both of them are out of the room, and Ayato sighs to himself. Hinami is unsure of the situation at hand, but she doesn’t ask. If she did something wrong, he would have probably pointed it out anyway. He certainly showed the confidence to call someone out moments ago. “Let’s move on. I’ll show you the other parts of the dorm.” They start moving through the building, and Hinami leans in as he basically maps the spacious dorm for her.

“The left side is the boys’ rooms area. The right one is the girls’.” He gestures to each hallway with his hands, and she looks both sides. “Your room will be upstairs to the right side. Most people have roommates, but you lucked out. I’ll take you there in a bit. But first there are more general places you need to see.” He then starts walking towards one of the staircases, and Hinami quickly follows his lead.

Behind the first large door they come across, Hinami finds out there is a library, big and filled from floor to ceiling with bookshelves that seemed so packed there were barely any spaces between the books they were holding. Hinami could at least see herself confide in this area, although it was a quite dusty compared to the other rooms. As if less used.

Despite wanting to stay a bit more, to look through all the sections and see what she can find, she reminds herself Ayato isn’t here to watch her admire their library. He’s here to show her the place she’s going to live in for a very long time. She follows him out, though her head still turn to look back, before the door closes. She doesn’t know it, but Ayato saw her excited gaze. In his heart, he’s glad that she at least found something nice in here.

They walk near a window, framed with silver metal. He stops near it, and she almost bumps into him, but she steps back in time. “Look out of the window.” He tells her, knocking on the glass lightly with the back of his fingers. She turns her head, looking at the outside. There is a back garden there, and Hinami could recognize so many beautiful flowers there. Amaryllises, anemones, carnations, roses, even gardenias.

Her hands and face stick to the glass, trying take a better glimpse, and Ayato snorts. “That’s the actual flower garden we have here. We have a staff that takes care of it. It’s usually a free spot, if you want to go there. The rest don’t really like to be outside when you can actually see the flowers.” He added factually.

“Thank you for letting me know, Ayato-kun!” She gushed. She always liked gardens – both her and her mother had their own little garden in the backyard, at the time. Even if she isn’t the one planting the seeds, it would still be nice, to have her own little greenhouse here as well. After her eyes lingered a bit more on the beautifully organized garden, she turned, her skirt twirling with her, looking at him a bit more lightheartedly than before. “Let’s go!”

“Uh, alright.” He replied, unsure of how to approach the situation. She had seemed to have calmed down almost completely by now. Her heart pace was stable, from what he could hear, and instead of walking slumped and withdrawn, she stood tall in joy.

If it’ll help her introduction to go smoothly, he guessed it’s only for the better.

He started walking, and with no time they both found themselves in the dorm’s kitchen. Hinami was puzzled. Ever since she was a child, she had heard vampire feed on blood, blood, and well… blood. Maybe she could recall a few novels that included them eating human flesh, but… there is no need of a kitchen filled with caviar or roast beef or whatever types those seven jars of ice cream were in the freezer. She turned her head to Ayato, tilting it, and he could have sworn he had seen question marks in her eyes.

“We can eat things that aren’t blood. It doesn’t satisfy the thirst, but we are still able to eat them, anyway.” He explained, and she released an almost inaudible ‘oh’. He could catch from the corner of his eye how her lips tightened. Not a lot of turned vampires can process the thought of food not satisfying them at first, so it’s hardly surprising to see her distraught at the thought of a meal. Of what she’ll have to actually feed on.

There is silence between them. It fills up the room, making them both feel slightly uncomfortable. There’s a question lingering on her mind that is insistent on bothering her, making her feel guilt for crimes she did not commit. There’s a question lingering on his mind that makes him worry for what will happen to both her and the dorm, the people she can accidentally hurt.

What am I going to do?

What are you going to do?

Ayato shakes his head. The tablets would have to be enough. If she can take them, it’ll be fine. She won’t turn to a Level E.

“Ayato-sama!” Both of them turn around to look at two people entering the kitchen. One blond man, just like the two other men before, and the other a short woman, with a rather strange reddish-brown hairstyle. The man struts into the kitchen, with some sort of a gangster walk. His back was slumped and his feet pointing outwardly as he stepped. Against him, the woman walked in a perfect line, her back straightened with her hands behind her back.

“Naki, you remember we two have to go out earlier to talk with Kaneki, right?” He reminded. Naki nodded excitedly, his white, toothy smile appearing on his face. Hinami almost giggles, but stops herself. Nonetheless, Naki’s eyes still shift to her.

“Who’s the girl?” He asks, as if she wasn’t there since the beginning.

“Naki, Miza, this is Fueguchi Hinami and she’s going to join the night class.” He answers, and they looked at her curiously, the woman – Miza, apparently, has her eyes narrowed, but both of them don’t look too malicious. Actually, even despite the squinted eyes, Miza is very pretty, just like how Naki’s features are incredibly charming.

Already bowed down, Hinami attempts to be as polite as possible, so what happened before half an hour or so won’t repeat itself. “It’s nice to meet you, Miza-san, Naki-san.” She said, only to lift her head and see they seemed more embarrassed than anything about it all. Naki scratched his head while Miza looked at her as if she’s trying to figure her out.

She bit the inside of her cheek, shifting her eyes to Ayato instead. “Ayato-kun, should I apologize or….?” She asked, worried that she may have done something idiotic. Naki suddenly grimaced, and Miza pressed her lips together. The tension was thick in the air.

Ayato was close to tell them off before one more person appeared.

“You know, it’s pretty rude to lower the status of a pureblood like that. ‘Kun’? You want to get slapped, or something?” A man with white, messy hair that matched his ill-fitting white uniform. He skipped towards her, stopping when his face is inches from hers. She trips back, and he laughs, almost manically.

“Takizawa, fuck off.” Ayato hissed, stepping in front of him. Takizawa Seidou was a human turned vampire, just like Hinami was, or at least, going to be – however, he was never fully sane after he was bitten. There was little that he hadn’t experienced in terms of torturing, and his hatred grew to insanity long before he was able to reclaim his life by biting the pureblood who changed him. Despite being C Level vampire, he was usually worse than an E Level.

Especially when it came to Ayato, or any other pureblood, for that matter. He was a survivor made out of spite – and that caused him to more than often lash out on Ayato, as the closest pureblood he could reach to.

“What now, little Prince? You all have us calling you Ayato-sama, but the moment a pretty girl walks in you’d give her extra privileges? A bit unfair, if you ask me.” He teased, with his nicest shit eating grin. Within seconds Ayato’s hand clutched Takizawa’s face, nails digging through his scalp, ready to break it on a nearby wall. Naki came and interfered, breaking the fight off.

Hinami could barely breathe as she watched the scene unfolding in front of her. She heard Naki trying to calm Ayato down and Takizawa laughing out loud as if he had just heard the funniest joke in his life, and it occurred to her – she knows nothing about how to deal with things like that. She didn’t even know there was a problem with the suffix, she was just trying to be friendly. How could she handle situations like these? I won’t be able to…

“We’ll talk about this later. Kaneki will handle you.” Ayato announced, his hand covering his eyes, avoiding Takizawa’s face that he knew oh so well was still in the same smirk it was before, still gloating happily as if he won the lottery.

Takizawa sighed in exaggeration, acting like he was upset before bursting into laughter again. “Whatever. I see him every other day anyway, I’m sure he already got used to it. Bye missy! Hope you are ready to when he shows his real fangs!” He yelled towards Hinami, skipping away from the kitchen.

Hinami was beyond appalled. You could even say she was shaken, from how she was frozen in her spot.

Ayato sighed. So much for the introduction to go smoothly. He couldn’t even stay, he already had to go to the meeting with Kaneki, which he would have to report Takizawa on as well… His mind was a mess. “Miza, take Hinami to that one free room and the girl’s section. Naki and I need to go already.”

Miza looked like she wanted to complain, but she sucked it up. “Fine.” She took a hold of Hinami’s wrist, shaking her a little, so she would wake up from her trance. “Let’s go already. I still have stuff to do before school starts.”

Hinami glanced at Ayato. Miza still didn’t seem to like her much. He nodded at her, before finally leaving the room with Naki. Miza rolled her eyes and simply started walking, Hinami following behind in small but quick steps.

Her eyes were at the ground – she knew she wouldn’t fit here. She wanted to break down and cry and go back to her parents, but she had nowhere to go. She bit her lips, trying to concentrate on anything else but the events, to avoid any more embarrassment and failure that wish to follow her.

Miza, looking back at her, almost felt like she was watching a kicked puppy. She noticed her touching her neck, covering it... She’d even say shielding it, in a way. It wasn’t that hard to figure out why she’s here now. She was clearly at loss here. A lost child that was forced into a life they didn’t want.

Maybe she could spare her some wise words, while they’re still walking.

“Listen up.” Miza began, grabbing Hinami’s attention.

“In the vampire world, there is a hierarchy. You have to follow it. This is non-negotiable, if you want to stay on good terms with all of us. Ayato-sama, as you should call him, is at the top. He’s a prince. The suffix is important, you cannot leave it out.” She lectures her, and Hinami takes mental notes, even as she’s sniffling a little.

“The next in line are people like me and Naki. Aristocrats. Calling us how you did is fine. We have considerably pure blood, but not fully pure like purebloods. If we tell you that you can call us otherwise, then it’s okay to call us that in public too. Again, this does not extend to purebloods.” She continues, and Hinami is already grasping the concept. She gets it.

“And then we get to turned vampires. Yes, like you. Level C to E. Takizawa is one too. He’s level C. You are the bottom of the chain, so don’t expect much from higher ups – they don’t like messing with you bunch much. You will usually simply be called by whatever name the higher ranked vampire wants to call you. I’m calling you Fueguchi, from now on, as an example.” Hinami nodded at the name. Fueguchi is fine. Better than what she could have expected after what happened.

“Now, there’s more to all of it, but I don’t have the time to explain it. If you have any questions, you are free to come and ask me. Also, here’s your room.” Miza finishes, and gestures towards the door they now stood beside.

Hinami opens the door, to reveal a beautiful, spacious room, with silk curtains hanged and silk sheets on a big, fancy bed she could only dream the princesses she reads about in fairytales have. She has everything she needs here, a closet, a work table, nightstands and bookshelves. The wallpaper was dark royal blue and Hinami gawked at how prettily all the things in front of her combined.

“Glad you at least like your room.” She offers, letting the corner of her mouth twitch up, even if only slightly. “I’ll be going now.” Miza is already ready to leave, but Hinami holds onto the edge of her white jacket.

“What?” She asks, a bit shocked Hinami actually had the courage to pull on her jacket.

“Thank you, Miza-san.” She answers, letting go of Miza’s clothes, her hand shyly falling back to it’s place.

Miza let’s herself stare at her, for a few moments longer, her eyes traveling to her neck – to the wound. “No problem, I guess. But just so you know, it’ll only get harder from here on.”

[empressqueen]

Ridiculously Earnest

●Jeonhannah13 Note: I’m not a good writer especially if it’s in English damnnn lolol I do write but just in my native language so forgive me if there’s any mistake. This is dedicated to a fellow ayahina fan bc ayahina is life!!!

I dont really know what’s the focus of this short fanfic but eh Ayato being an idiot and Hinami being a tease lol That’s it lmaooo

This takes place when Ayato came back from the under under underground of the 24th Ward but eh I wrote this before things happened on manga so ofc everything is peaceful here. Anyway enjoy! For @selinaskyel sry if it’s shitty af lmao ●

—

She’s weak as a bird, fragile as a glass. She easily cries like a brat who falls on her ass.

“Ugh, what the fuck are you thinking”

He whispers as he read the short poem he just wrote. He can’t help but think about how stupid his chosen words to write dedicated to a beautiful girl who caught his eyes.

His personality is the complete opposite of her kind, loving and bright one.

He’s rough, rude and dark.

But still, this doesn’t mean that he won’t have a heart for feeling this way for her. For Hinami.

Let’s repeat that.

He has a heart. Kirishima Ayato has a heart. This edgy, young and handsome ghoul has one. And he thinks that it’ll only beat for this girl.

For the rest of his life.

Is this really love?

The smile she gave when they first met was his ticket to the ride called first crush. The time they spent as partners in every Aogiri missios was the sign for him to realize that he had started to like her. The months that passed while she was locked up in a ghoul prison made him ponder about why his heart was restless. All he wanted to do was to save her, even if it means going against Eto or Tatara. The moment they reunited, he felt like giving her a tight hug. God knew that he missed her so much but Ayato chose to give her a simple pat on the shoulder then realized that he might’ve fallen in love with her.

Why did he even choose to do that? Even Banjou hugged her. Fucking coward.

“Why am I even writing cheesy lines? It’s not like she’ll like it.” Talking to himself again and looking at his stupid writing about Hinami, who apparently a brat who fell on her ass, as his poem said.

“Who’s not gonna like it? It’s…nice.”

His shoulders and heart jump as he turns around to find the girl behind him.

Did she just read his poem?

“What the hell do you think you’re doing! Don’t know how to fucking knock?” He rudely says as he tries to hide his embarassment.

He thinks that Hinami is laughing at him in her mind.

But actually, she really is laughing in reality.

“Ayato-kun, you have a great choice of words.” She ignores his tactless mouth and smiles.

Goddammit, she’s so beautiful.

“Donľ flatter me. It’s not like I’m serious about this.” He retorts bacj as he crumples the paper. Ayato stands up fron where he’s sitting. He feels like he’s gonna attack Hinami because of how close she is.

Especially when he can’t erase in his mind the only chance he had to feel her heat when she took him back to the greenhouse.

Another chance he had to hug her and he again let it slipped.

He lays down on his bed, well if you can call this ripped mattress a bed, thinking that Hinami will take this as a hint to get out of his room, or more like cell.

“So who’s the lucky girl?” He closes his eyes as he realized that Hinami is in a good mood and looks like she’s stayinh for a while and joins him on his bed.

What the fuck? Is she fucking stupid or is she an idiot for being fucking stupid?

This is a guy’s room and she’s sitting on a guy’s bed plus she’s too close to him. It makes him think about things he shouldn’t think.

Oh, Ayato you poor boy.

“What lucky girl?” He replies trying to sound likr he’s bored to death. Actually, right now he can’t calm himself down and if he looks at her, he’ll likely get a heart attack.

Just imagining Hinami on his bed is enough to make his mind go wild.

“Ayato-kun is writing a poem for a girl. It must mean that she’s special.” She simply says and moves a little closer to his form. He feels the dip of his bed and this make him open his eyes.

Like a deer caught in the headlights.

He feels her body heat as she keeps on talking about the brat who falls on her ass. She’s laughing about how cute but stupid that girl is.

She also said something like he must really like her because he’s putting effort to write her something when it’s not his personality to do it.

Ayato wakes up from his daydreaming and sits up. This made Hinami stop.

“Hina, she means the world to me.” He mutters quietly and looks straight into her eyes. Ayato leans against the wall and sighs dreamily.

Like a girl stupidly in love.

“She’s amazing. I don’t even have the guts to tell her my feelings. She’s way too out of my league.”

All he wanted to say is her name directly.

Ayato looks at her and there she is smiling sadly at him.

Why is she sad?

“Are you okay?” He asks and she just shakes her head. He can’t help but worry about this girl who always wears a bright smile on her beautiful face.

“Ayato-kun, I’m glad that you found someone. You won’t be alone anymore.”

“Hinami.” He calls her name and she looks at him dead straight on his eyes. This made him gulp down. Just with that look, his heart is already going crazy.

“I wish I can meet her, Ayato-kun.” Again, with a sad smile on her lips he can’t help himself and reach out to her hand.

“Hinami.” He calls her again and she giggles. “Ayato-kun, you’re like my bestfriend. Of course, I want to meet this girl you really like.” She responds with the intent of teasing him. He intertwines their fingers like it’s a natural thing for them.

Bestfriend she says.

“Hinami.” This time, when Ayato calls her Hinami leans on his shoulder. His body stiffens as her heat and scent touches his senses. He feels like floating just with these simple things.

Just how much of a sucker is he for her?

“I hope I can find someone here too. Just like you did, Ayato-kun.”

When Hinami let out those words, Ayato’s self-control runs out of the room. It seems like this is a chance to hug her. To touch her more. Another chance and he’s not letting this one slide again. Not when Hinami looks really sad, for unknown reasons.

“A-ayato-kun…?”

“Hinami, you already met her. I guess you just don’t realize it.”

Hinami is confused with whatever Ayato is talking about. She tries to move so she can see his handsome face but he tightens his arms around her. She can’t help but gasp as he does this.

“Um, Ayato…kun?”

He’s now panicking inside when he realizes that he hugged her harder. How is he suppose to coolly let go now?

He doesn’t know what to do now that he got themselves into a couple-like position. Actually, they haven’t realized it at first but when there’s only two people in a closed room, well closed cell, with just their breathing and heart beating as the sound they won’t have a choice but to feel things.

Like, how she’s almost on his lap.

Fuck.

“I won’t ever leave you alone.” He randomly says as he tries to ignore the tension between them.

She slowly reaches out to him and hugs him back. Ayato feels her little hands crawl up to his neck and this time with all the touching they’ve had earlier he quietly welcomes it.

But of course, his heart can’t still calm the fuck down.

“Ayato-kun, I don’t want to be a burden to you. You can be with her and I’ll be fine by myself. I’ll support you. I’ll still be your friend.”

What the fuck is she saying?

Ayati is having an internal battle with himself ‘cause damn he wants to fucking kiss her and tell her that she is the one in the stupid poem.

But he’ll feel like digging a holr or going back to the most underground levels of the 24th Ward just to hide his cheesy-poem writing ass.

Ayato was the first one to let go but he makes Hinami look at him. He tilts her head and fuck he feels like she’s sucking his life out.

He’s nervous as fuck and damn he decides to ignore it and just feel the moment.

“Hina, you don’t understand.” He stutters a bit and now he makes a choice that it doesn’t matter.

Fuck everything because he really likes her.

Before Hinami speaks, Ayato leans and kisses her fairly on the lips. He feels her breathing stops and pulls ways as fast as he thought about finally doing it.

Hinami freezes up but recovers when Ayato poker her cheeks. Her now red cheeks.

“Ayato-kun, wha…?” Not believing what just happened, she can’t think of words.

He kissed her.

“Do you understand now?” Ayato asks Hinami as they both blush hard.

Imagine two young ghouls both with rough memories about life finds comfort in each other and falling in love together?

Hinami’s eyes grow bigger and she gapes at him. She’s been feeling weird ever since they both hit puberty. It’s like Ayato always looks good and cool.

It’s been years since she felt that and it looks like it might be because she’s crushing on him.

That’s why when she realizes that Ayato has someone he loves, she feels devastated. Since they are always together it’ll be impossible for him to like her.

Or so she thought.

In this kind of confession, this is the moment where the girl will tear up out of happiness but of course that only happens on dramas and novels.

This one is reality.

A reality for these two who found each other in the darkest times of their lives.

This moment is the time for Hinami to laugh her heart out.

Gosh, so they feel the same after all?

This made Hinami giggle as she realizes it.

Ayato frowns and pouts. Hinami finds this adorable and pinches his cheeks.

A handsome guy pouting is the cutest right?

“I’ll rewrite it.” He mumbles as she continues to laugh and blush. Hinami can’t still believe that she was the brat on his poem.

“No, I love it Ayato-kun.” She says with honesty and a contented smile on her face.

It’s true that she made fun of him earlier but she felt some jealousy for the girl Ayato wrote the poem for.

When in reality, the brat who cries as shevfalls on her ass is her.

“Ayato-kun, were you serious?” She asks him as the tension between them continues. Ayato keeps on darting away his eyes from her. His secret is now out and he’s waiting for Hinami to reject it.

“I…I…am.” he answers shortly for he still feel nervous. Hinami can’t stop smiling and she’s clearly enjoying how Ayato looks like melting with embarassment.

“Ayato-kun, can you write me a poem?” He stops looking antsy then eyes her with a horrified look.

“You want me to continue the poem?” He asks unsure of what to say next. Hinami smiles and nods eagerly at him. Somehow he finds this cute.

But wait he thinks that she\s always beautiful and cute.

Fuck she’s so adorable.

It makes him think about what other expressions she can show to him. In their private time, if ever they become a real couple.

Ayato thinks that maybe if he continue it, Hinami will believe that she is the one he’s writing the cheesy poem for. He wants to prove that he’s serious especially when Hinami seems to doubt his feelings.

We;;, that’s what he thinks.

Hinami trusts Ayato.

It’s just that this timid girl finds the flustered version of him funny. She’s teasing him.

he’s willing to look even more stupid just to make her believe that he is being serious about her.

“Sure.” Ayato already feels like a fool as he agrees with her but fired up. Even if it means looking like an idiot, he will gladly accept it.

For Hinami. 

Everything is for Hinami.

Few days passed and Ayato os feeling uneasy. He dropped off the paper at Hinami’s cell earlier this day which contains his stupid 4 lines poem dedicated to her.

He’s been waiting for her reaction all day and now it’s nighttime. Ayato sits on the highest place in the underground. When it’s this high, he can quietly relax.

But the relaxing moment stops there when he hears her adorable laughter.

Ayato looks behind him and there he finds Hinami holding the paper.

“You read it?” he asks trying to stay calm as possible but looks away. Maybe he’s really having a hard time feeling like an idiot.

A fool for love.

A fool for Hinami.

“Yes.” Hinami answers him and takes a sit beside the idiot.

Her idiot.

“I love it, Ayato-kun.” she confesses while wearing a big grin on her beautiful face. Ayato blushes and frowns, very Ayato-like. She leans on his shoulder and links their arms together.

“So you believe me now?” he asks curiously, trying to hide his excitement but he doesn’t realize that he’s swinging his legs.

Gosh, he’s so cute!

Ayato smiles when she nods.

So this is what falling in love feels like. No wonder his older sister looks stupidly happy and contented with that half-assed bastard.

“She’s weak as a bird, fragile like a glass.

She easily cries like a brat who falls on her ass.

She may be a wimp, tender like human’s meat.

She’s my clover girl who gives luck on my sorry shit.”

Ayato’s eyes widens as Hinami recites his poem filled with love. He tries to grab it from her but for some reason he can’t bring himself to be rough on Hinami.

Maybe some other time and more…privately?

he tries again but Hinami stands up and raises her arms. As if Ayato won’t be able to reach that height. He smirks cockily and stands in front of her.

The distance makes their cheeks blush and they stare at each other with their eyes looking at the depths of their souls.

This seems to make Hinami emotional and tears fall from her eyes. Ayato beams at his clover girl and god, he’ll love to kiss her tears even every inch of her pale skin.

Words aren’t even needed in this kind of time. Looking at the eyes of your loved one is enough.

“Can I?” Ayato inquires as he traces her lips slowly with his delicate but rough fingers. Hinami shivers as she feels his heat coming from it. 

God, what a heavy and luscious tension between these two.

“Sure.” she entusiastically nods and let him lead. Well, when it comes to these things, surely Ayato will be the one who will always initiate but it would be nice to let her too, right?

The meek girlfriend over the brash boyfriend.

Yotsume over Black Rabbit.

Sounds appealing.

[moonwaif]

Latte (H)Art: ch. 3/?

“The Black Rabbit”: Hinami learns more about Ayato’s past. (Ao3)

Summary: Traumatized after being rejected by Kirishima Ayato, her first love, a teenaged Hinami vows that she will never fall in love again. Four years later, Hinami is a young woman trying to get by in life. Her painful past is behind her - at least, until she gets a job at Aogiri Tree Café, where she runs into a few familiar faces...AyaHina human!AU

The last time Hinami had seen Akira, she’d been staring at her with the same dangerously placid smile. The man glanced between Akira and Hinami, obviously confused. Hinami, for her part, was at an equal loss for words. So did the only thing she could think of.

“Forgive me,” she whispered, bending forward into a bow.

Akira smiled. “Forgive you?” she repeated. “I’m not the one you should ask forgiveness from. You should ask my father – but you can’t, can you? At least, not anymore.”

A conspicuous silence was falling over the café. Hinami stood slightly, glancing at Ayato. He was frowning at them from behind the register. Ugh, the last thing she needed was for him to see yet another humiliating moment in her life. She gave Akira a pleading look.

“Please, if we could just step outside a moment –“

“I’d rather not,” Akira interrupted. “I’m comfortable right here.”

The man touched Akira’s elbow lightly, his expression concerned. “Mado-san, I think she’s right. It might be best if we leave.”

“Might be best?” Akira repeated, her voice quiet. “Perhaps. It certainly might have been best if her parents hadn’t been rushing to get home to her on that highway that night. It might have been best if they’d been looking at the car in front of them. But they weren’t looking, were they, Hinami?”

Hinami felt sick. She looked down at the floor. She could hear the crunching of metal, the screams, the snapping of bones and delicate cartilage as the two people she loved most in the world were transformed into nothing but mangled corpses. She hadn’t been there when it happened, but the sounds still haunted her imagination. She didn’t hear them as much anymore, not like when she was younger. But on nights she couldn’t sleep she’d occasionally have to put on headphones, humming along with the music and letting the past fade away into dreams. But now Akira was here, and Hinami didn’t have her headphones. All she had was the anger and frustration that had been fermenting inside her since the confrontation with Ayato this morning. She felt a strong impulse to flee, but her impulse to strike out was even stronger. She raised her eyes, glaring at Akira, her ears pounding so loudly she could barely hear her own response.

“They’re all dead. So what do you what me to do about it?”

Akira’s mouth droped open. The man shut his eyes, an expression of “oh-shit-now-you’ve-gone-and-done-it” passing over his face.

“You,” Akira breathed, taking a step forward. She raised her arm. Hinami flinched but made no effort to dodge the oncoming blow. But before Akira could strike a hand reached out, catching her by the wrist with an ease and speed that took them all off-guard.

Ayato glared hard at Akira. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”.

Hinami’s heart leapt. ‘Ayato?’ Hinami thought dully. How did he get over here…?

Akira blinked up at him, similarly similarly bewildered. “Excuse me? Let go of -” Her voice faltered as her eyes drifted over Ayato’s shoulder. Hinami followed her gaze. Takizawa stood in the doorway to the kitchen, his face scrunched in an almost exaggerated mask of nausea.

“Taki...zawa?” Akira whispered.

Before Hinami could fully process this develop Akira’s companion stepped forward, his face darkened.

“I’d let go if you’d like to keep that hand connected to your wrist,” he growled.

Ayato gave him a bored look. He released Akira, whose arm fell limply at her side.

“Then keep your hands off my employees. And get the fuck out of my cafe.”

Akira sniffed disdainfully. She cast one last glance towards the kitchen before spinning on her heel.

“Come on, Amon. Let’s go.”

She headed toward the door without hesitation. The man gave Ayato one last scathing looking before following her. Ayato watched them go without comment.

“Kitchen,” he said, as soon as they were gone. “Now.”

Hinami followed him dutifully, mentally preparing herself for the inevitable lecture. She wasn’t sure if she was more annoyed or awe-struck by his interference. As much as she hated to admit it, he had looked pretty cool standing up to Akira - just like the old Ayato she’d hero-worshipped in the past. Ayato sent Naki out of the kitchen under the pretext of covering tables. He waited until they were alone before turning on her.

“First off, I don’t give two fucks what that whole exchange was about,” he said bluntly. “What I do give a fuck about is you bringing it to work. The entire cafe saw you two. Now every time they think of Aogiri Tree, they’re gonna remember this incident, and that’s not good for business. So keep your bullshit at home next time, alright?”

Hinami said nothing. A fly buzzed around the stack of dishes in the sink. ‘If you didn’t care, why did you bother to interfere?’ she thought dully.

“Oi. Fueguchi. Answer me.”

“Ok,” she deadpanned.

“Great. I’m glad we got that first point across. Secondly…”

He paused long enough for Hinami to internally groan. ‘There’s a second point...?’

“Why the hell did you let that bitch talk to you like that?!” he burst out at last, taking Hinami aback. “That sure didn’t match your attitude this morning!”

“It’s complicated,” she answered evasively.

“Complicated? I don’t know, seems pretty simple to me - like you don’t have any guts after all.”

“Ok,” Hinami said again, not entirely able to keep the irritation out of her voice this time. “Can I go now?”

Ayato stared at her incredulously. “Yeah, fine, sure,” he said after a few moments. “But if that’d been me, I would’ve shut that bitch up from the start, not just stood there and taken it.”

He stalked out of the kitchen. Hinami continued to stand in front of the sink, willing herself to feel nothing. It was then that she realized Ayato seemed more upset about any of this than she did. Even Akira’s friend had more emotion.

‘Is this really what I’ve turned into?’

A muffled retch broke through her thoughts, followed by a low groan and a string of curses. The sound came from the employee bathroom.

Hinami approached the door. Another retch.

“Oh god,” came Takizawa’s voice, “oh god just kill me…”

“Takizawa?” Hinami called cautiously. There was a moment of silence, then the door flew open. Takizawa stood trembling in the doorway, his apron reeking of nicotine and covered in unsightly stains.

“Is she - is she gone?” he whispered, his eyes darting about the kitchen frantically.

“Do you mean Akira?” Hinami asked, confused.

He let out a high peel of laughter, causing Hinami to jump. She took a step back.

“Are you feeling alright? Maybe you should go home…”

“I’m fine! Everything’s great!” His words were accompanied by more laughter. Hinami couldn’t tell whether or not he was being sarcastic.

“Um...ok...Well, if you were asking about Akira” - he stiffened visibly at the name, chewing his lip like it was a fat piece of bubble gum - “then yeah, she just left.”

“Great! Excellent! Thank you, Fueguchi-san!”

And with that he slammed the door, letting out a mixture of what sounded like giggles and more sobs.

It looked like Hinami wasn’t the only one having a hard time.

The rest of the day passed by in a blur or mediocrity. None of them brought up the events of this morning, not even Takizawa, who was uncharacteristically withdrawn after his episode in the bathroom. However, Hinami felt just the slightest hint of judgment in Ayato’s eyes every time he looked at her. She tried to stay numb, but irritation began to accumulate in the pit of her stomach. By the end of the day, it was turning into outright resentment.

Who the hell did Ayato think he was? Ok, so maybe Hinami was spineless. Maybe she had grown a little too used to burying her head in the sand and letting people walk all over her just because it was easier than standing up for herself. But if she was a coward, it was because of people like HIM. After all, he was the one who’d taught her that speaking your mind was pointless, that it was better not to feel anything at all and stay as far away from other people as possible.

If Hinami’s life was a failure, it wasn’t her fault: it was Ayato’s.

These were the kind of ruminations she was engrossed in as she took off her apron at the end of the day, her face wrinkled in an ugly scowl.

“Oi, Fueguchi-san!” Naki’s’ cheerful voice carried across the kitchen as he sauntered over. “You’re going to see the match right? Ayato’s facing off against Shikorae.”

Takizawa, who seemed to have the habit of sneaking up on people, chortled weakly. “I hope you have the coffin ready then. That bastard’s crazy. He’ll eat Ayato for breakfast.”

“That so?” mumbled Hinami. Hmm. The prospect of seeing Ayato get his face punched in was appealing. She looked up at Naki with a smile.

“What time does it start?”

Hinami hadn’t expected the fight to take place in the classiest of venues, but she was still a little put off by the overall “grime” of the arena. It took place in a little dive called Quinx. Outside, two scantily clad young women held promotional signs as music blared. Hinami blushed as she entered, all too aware of their snickers.

“Hey little girl, are you lost?

Inside, the noise escalated. Music blared over laughter and exaggerated shouting as people struggled to talk over one another. Hinami and Takizawa cringed, but Naki was totally unphased. He received fist bumps from almost everyone they walked by, called numerous people his “brother,” and even got a few hugs from some girls (the latter which always sent him blushing furiously).

“You seem pretty popular around here,” Hinami observed as they took their seats in the bleachers.

Naki shrugged. “Like I said, I’m Ayato’s manager. Everyone knows me.”

Hinami glanced toward the ring. Someone had entered a cage with a bucket. They were cleaning blood off the matt.

On her other side, Takizawa sighed heavily. The light from his cellphone illuminated his pale face, made even paler by his black lipstick and hoodie. He looked about as out of place here as Hinami did.

“Twenty says Shirokae wins using an illegal move,” he said, to no one in particular.

Naki frowned. “Hmph. Fine. But I say the same for Ayato.”

“They can win using illegal moves?” Hinami asked, confused. “But...wouldn’t the referee disqualify them or something?”

Takizawa’s lips curled. “Oh my sweet summer child. This is an underground circuit. That’s not how things work around here.”

“Yeah, the guys around here tend to fight pretty dirty,” Naki agreed. “Ugh, remember what happened in that match with Centipede? Damn, that was ugly…”

“Centipede?” Hinami repeated.

Naki gaped at her. “You don’t know about Centipede?”

She shook her head, feeling particularly clueless. Naki rubbed his hands together and leaned back in his chair, prepared to launch into a story.

“Centipede is only one the biggest legends in this circuit. Guy was crazy. He’d do anything to win, anything. Which is exactly why Ayato challenged him. Y’know, back when Ayato was just getting started, just a kid. Hadn’t even been locked up yet.”

Hinami nodded, trying to imagine a young Ayato walking into a place like this. She vaguely wondered if he’d felt more excited, or more scared.

“Anyway, Ayato was pretty cocky in those days. He was tiny so they put him against tiny opponents, ones who just wanted to play at MMA to make their dicks feel big. He took ‘em all out pretty easy. But Ayato wanted more. He wanted to be the best, which meant he needed to take out the best. So he challenged Centipede, and Centipede...Well, he turned him down.”

“What was the reason?” Hinami pressed, more invested in the story than she liked to admit. Naki snickered.

“Said Ayato was just a kid; that it wouldn’t be right, destroying someone so young like that. You can probably guess how Ayato took that. You know how he is. So Ayato kept pressuring him, and Centipede kept turning him down, until one particular night. I still remember it, because Ayato was real pissed off that day. He’d had some kind of row with his sister. It was a big one, I don’t think they’ve ever talked since then. Anyway, Centipede sends someone to Quinx with a message for a Ayato, a message with a time and an address. Which could only mean one thing: an unauthorized match.”

Hinami’s mouth felt dry. “He accepted.”

“‘Course he did, even though people were telling him not to. Most of ‘em wanted to see it, though. It was at some abandoned warehouse, and a big crowd showed up. And Centipede...well, he was there, just like he’d said he’d be.

“Ayato was more pissed off than usual. I think he was scared. He knew Centipede’s reputation, and he knew that this match would either make him or break him. At first he held his own pretty well. It was weird, y’know. Centipede normally went on the offensive, but he was holding back, and I think it pissed Ayato off even more. He took it personal. So he started off really aggressive, which is always a mistake - kid’s got no stamina. And then Centipede said something to him, real quiet. I didn’t hear it, and Ayato never told me what it was, but he looked shook. After that, it was all over.”

Naki fell silent. Beside her, Hinami could feel Takizawa listening.

“So...Ayato lost the match?” Hinami asked cautiously.

“Yeah. But it was ugly. Real ugly.”

“Ugly...how?”

Naki held up a hand, as if displaying it. “It’s against the rules to go after the fingers in MMA. Well, Centipede broke Ayato’s entire left hand. He had Ayato pinned down, and he just started bending his fingers back one by one, plucking ‘em like they were strings on a violin. I still remember the sound.”

Hinami cringed. She could almost hear Ayato’s burning, animal scream.

“That’s awful,” she whispered.

Naki shrugged. “Well, Ayato should have seen it coming. Everyone knew what Centipede was like, me best of all. After all, my aniki was Centipede’s old trainer, and he was crazy as hell. Ayato just shouldn’t have accepted that match. It really put him out of him commission for a while. He had to drop out of the circuit, and we weren’t sure his hand would ever really recover. Fortunately it did - just in time for the police to nab him.”

Hinami was about to ask exactly how the police fit into all of this - if Ayato’s crime was related to whatever he did here on the circuit, or if it was something else entirely - when the background music suddenly escalated. The crowd began to cheer. Naki stood, and Takizawa put away his phone.

“Finally,” he grumbled.

“LADIES AND GENTLEMAN,” a voice blared over the speakers, “WELCOME TO TONIGHT’S EVENT: SHIKORAE VS. THE BLACK RABBIT.”

The cheering intensified.

“INTRODUCING...SHIKORAE!”

A small figure slunk into the ring. Hinami recoiled as its face looked up in her direction. At first she thought it was a woman with long, dark hair. Then she saw that the hair was actually attached to a mask of what looked like the upper half of a woman’s face. The lips below the mask smiled.

“AND INTRODUCING...BLACK RABBIT!”

A few feminine screams joined the cheering as who could only be Ayato entered the ring. Like Shikorae, he wore a mask, although his was significantly less macabre. He wore the face of a black rabbit, the ears sticking up above his head and blending into his dark hair. Hinami was reminded of the tattoo she’d seen just that morning, the one that was currently hidden beneath a black, fitted shirt.

The voice continued blasting over the speakers, but Hinami wasn’t listening. She was watching Ayato with the feeling that she was looking at a complete stranger. Yes, it was definitely him. She recognized his movements, his confident stance, the way he stared unflinchingly at his opponent. But this second life, this...backstory - what the hell did any of it all mean? How could any of it actually be true? Was this really the person she’d fallen so hopelessly in love with back in the day?

Had she even really known him?

His face suddenly turned in her direction as he surveyed the crowd. Naki waved, shouting something like, “Kick his ass.” Hinami felt her face turn red. Had he seen her? Certainly not. Still, it didn’t stop her from averting her eyes and squirming in her chair.

‘Ugh, this is embarrassing,’ she thought miserably. ‘Why am I even here?’

“THREE - TWO - ONE!”

Shikorae moved.

Ayato moved faster.

Shikorae reminded Hinami of a cross between a spider and a puppet. His arms swung out wildly at awkward angles so that each blow was unpredictable. But the Black Rabbit was swift, dodging Shikorae’s blows with lightness and ease. Shikorae’s moves grew more frantic. Ayato dodged just a millisecond too late, and Hinami cringed as she watched Shikorae’s gloves move toward Ayato’s face - but then Ayato’s forearm was raised, and before Shikorae could react Ayato raised his leg and sent him flying backward with a hard kick to the chest.

The crowd boiled with equal parts cheers and boos. Shikorae managed to steady himself, skidding on the mat. Hinami could feel Ayato smirking behind the mask.

The match continued like this for several rounds, with Shikorae slowly advancing, occasionally landing a decent hit, only to be lured into another of Ayato’s traps.

“He’s trying to wear him out,” Naki muttered.

Hinami, whose fists were clenched in her lap as Ayato barely dodged a foot toward the face, glanced his way. “Huh?”

“Shikorae’s coming on too strong. Ayato’s trying to outlast him.” Naki shook his head. “It’s risky. Stamina’s never been Ayato’s strong point…”

Hair clung to Ayato’s forehead, damp with sweat. She wondered if he was smiling behind that mask as he drove his fist straight into the soft, sensitive spot beneath Shikorae’s ribs. Her hands were clenched so tightly in her lap that they ached, bile rose in her throat with disgust, but at the same time - she felt so entirely and completely THERE. It was like she was finally awake after years of existing in a comatose state. With each punch, she could feel the snapping of her own bones. Every dodge, and she could feel the breeze on her flesh.

It was exhilarating.

Shikorae’s sunken abandon heaved with panting breaths. ‘Ayato’s wearing him down,’ Hinami thought, and she wasn’t sure why that made her so happy.

“HEY, ISN’T THAT THE CENTIPEDE?”

The voice punctured the humid air like a needle. A brief silence fell. Shikorae and Ayato froze. Suddenly a wave of shouting and bustling swelled over the crowd, and Hinami could feel elbows pushing in on her from all sides as people shifted, turning frantically, their eyes searching for an elusive figure. From the corner of her eye, Hinami spotted a blurred silhouette in the light coming from the exit. And then it was gone.

Ayato seemed to have spotted it too. He stood transfixed, his body stiff and alert - yet not alert enough. Shikorae’s spindly arm lashed out like lightning. A small cry escaped Hinami’s lips as his fist made contact with the back of Ayato’s skull with a dull crunch.

Ayato swayed, stumbling forward. He crashed to his knees with a weight that dropped straight to the pit of Hinami’s stomach. A chorus of boos broke out from the stands. The ref, who had until this point had his back turned, whipped around - only to see Shikorae pinning Ayato to the mat in what Hinami only assumed was a legal hold.

The match was over in seconds.

That night Hinami didn’t dream. She remembered.

It kept replaying through her mind: the moment when Ayato fell. The ease with which Shikorae pinned him. The slump of defeat in Ayato’s shoulders as Naki helped support him from the ring.

Ayato could have won. Hinami was sure of it. If he hadn’t been distracted, Shikorae would never have landed that punch. It pissed her off, really. Hinami had gone so she could see Ayato get his ass handed to him fair and square. Instead he’d let some random punk cheat him out of an otherwise sure victory.

His words from earlier that day echoed in her head:

‘If that’d been me, I would’ve shut that bitch up from the start, not just stood there and taken it.’

“You ass,” she whispered into the darkness. “Then why’d you let that guy do that to you?”

She was more pissed off than she’d felt in years.

She was even more pissed off when she received Ayato’s group text at 4:30 AM: “Aogiri tree is closed today.”

Hinami didn’t bother to knock on the basement door. She simply pushed it open, her heart pounding in her throat as she made her way down the stairs.

Ayato was spread out on the bed. The music today was more subdued, the kind of low-key rap that was perfect for quiet, rainy afternoons. He looked up at her from behind his manga, his head barely leaving the pillow. His left eye was purple and swollen, and Hinami could see a faint cut on his lower lip. There was no anger in his eyes, nor was there even surprise, really; just a mild curiosity, a sort of ‘alright, I’ll bite; tell me what you’ve got to say.’

Hinami didn’t hesitate.

“I want you to teach me.”

“Teach you?” he repeated. He sounded tired.

Hinami nodded, suddenly self-conscious. “To fight,” she mumbled.

Ayato chuckled. “So the kitten wants to become a tiger, huh? Why all of a sudden?”

Hinami’s fists tightened as she resisted the urge to lower her gaze. “I’m tired of being pushed around,” she said quietly. “I...want to change.”

She expected more snickers. She expected flat out refusal. What she didn’t expect was for Ayato to set the manga down with what almost looked like the ghost of a smile.

“Fine. We start tomorrow night.”

TBC..

[harleyquilt]

Together and Apart

Summary: A glimpse into moments of Ayato and Hinami’s life together as they grow up through the years. Both the best and worst times...

Words:  9836

Notes: I...don’t feel too confident with how corny this is at some points, but there’s a lot of fluff and it’s all written for my wonderful, amazing wife and plum @lilacflamesss for giving me her account to read smut. If that doesn’t define friendship, I don’t know what will. Hope you enjoy and feedback is appreciated!!

She stared at herself in the mirror, a bruise just below her eye and her jaw to her left was scraped, a few scratches left behind. Biting her lip, Hinami applied the cream one of the older ghouls around the compound had given her to make it heal a little quicker whilst the rest of the cuts and bruises she got from the training session healed. She winced slightly at the stinging burn that erupted from the light brush of her finger, but she squeezed her eyes shut and rubbed it in, telling herself she wouldn’t cry. Not again.

After so many cold nights, she had wasted so many tears crying over the circumstances of her life, crying over her weakness and the hopelessness of her wish to achieve the strength she desired in order to save those she had already lost before. It was pathetic, really, but after meeting the boy called Ayato, his appearance almost exactly like his older sister, she learned to pull herself together and promised herself no more wasted tears. He was right, after all, that if she was going to spend all her time weeping like a child, she might as well leave, but Eto’s words still rang through her ears. No, she wouldn’t leave - in this weak state, leaving won’t help anybody, not even herself.

Hinami looked down at her bruised and cut knuckles as this thought passed through her mind and noticed them fade slowly, feeling the skin tighten and the blunt pain grow smaller by the second. She touched the now healed skin, feeling that it was a little more rough. Nothing like the clean soft hands she had when she was first taken here. She will grow strong and she took some satisfaction in knowing that with every little wound she was given would eventually heal, and with it, she will become stronger. With a small pained smile, she let out a sigh and looked up, seeing Ayato looking at her from the doorway.

He indeed resembled his sister so much, especially with that slight frown, but he was also incredibly different in his own way. His dark hair was wild, the ends curled up slightly and his eyes were sharper, holding more coldness rather than the gentleness she had seen in Touka’s. He never held a smile on those lips of his, Ayato always either frowning or pouting. It was like his face was broken permanently and though Hinami took some amusement in this thought, it only ever made Ayato grimace more when she mentioned it. And then there was his body. Others may still continue mocking him for his height, despite his constant bursts of anger and violence, but Hinami always admired how lean he was, the rigid muscles of his chest and biceps usually hidden behind his baggy clothes he always wore.

Hinami looked away in an instant when she realised she had been staring at that moment, especially with those thoughts in mind, and she felt her cheeks heat up at the thought. It wasn’t as if she had a crush on him, he was just simply...attractive. She couldn’t be blamed for admiring his appearance, right? Either way, Ayato still stood at the door, biting at his lower lip with lowered eyes as if he were about to confess and Hinami was about to ask what was wrong, but he ended up speaking first.

“You look like shit.” He said, his eyes still avoiding hers and Hinami relaxed with a smile, walking over to sit at the end of her bed. “I mean, are you ok? You’re so weak and frail that-”

“It’s fine, Ayato-kun.” She beamed at him, smiling cheerfully in hopes to rid him of any guilt. After all, he was the one responsible for her training. “I’ll heal.”

He wavered then, like he was about to step into the room and join her, but he paused and opened his mouth, about to speak. Hinami patiently waited for a response, but the next thing she knew, he had turned away and headed off to his room down the hallway. He was quick, but Hinami could still see the pained look in his eyes as he turned, that look he always seemed to have after training sessions like this. He never held back and he was as rough as he could be without causing too serious an injury and yet, he always seemed deeply regretful after this.

It was sometimes hard to remember that the one most single thing that reminded Hinami most of Touka from Ayato wasn’t the appearance, nor the scowls or crude words, but the kind hearts they both shared. She just wished he was more accepting of it.

. . .

Hinami’s eyes roamed across the page in her book, taking in every word as she imagined the fantastical world being described in the novel. She could almost feel the cold rain, see the endless traffic and look up to see the pale moonlight above in the night sky. It was as if she wasn’t sat on a thin dirty mattress in a shoebox room, the only solace she could find being the view of the ocean from her window. With reading, she could escape this prison she had led herself into and imagine a world where she wasn’t herself. It was nice for a short while, anyway.

She leaned back against her pillow, sighing as she held her book up above her, narrowing her eyes at that one particular kanji that always caught her off guard. With time, she learnt to try and teach herself the more difficult words by herself, but it was still difficult at times and with these moments, she often felt the homesickness she always tried to ignore creep up on her again; she’d remember the quiet days where Kaneki and Touka sat by her side as they tried to help her through the list of words she had written down whilst reading. Touka would usually comment on how these books were unnecessarily complicated and tried to opt for something simpler, like manga, whilst Kaneki would continue to teach her different ways to read the new words with that beautiful smile of his.

And now...she was alone.

Shaking her head, Hinami got off her bed and smoothed out the creases in the skirt of her dress and took the book into her hands. Perhaps going outside might help her keep her mind off on unwanted thoughts. After all, the weather was lovely and she’d rather not waste her day stuck in some dreary room again. She smiled and hurried out her room, but it wasn’t long before she bumped into someone in the hallways. At first, she thought it was Ayato - it wouldn’t be the first time - but instead, it was Eto.

With a slight gasp, Hinami took a step or two back, bowing slightly whilst mumbling a quick apology. Eto rarely moved around the Aogiri base and usually kept herself at the big old tree that grew in the garden area at the centre of this base, only ever really with the company of Tatara and Noro. Hinami tried her best to stay out of Eto’s way, knowing full well she was busy with future plans and such, especially considering how busy the executives alone had to deal with. Or perhaps they just dumped most of the work on Ayato...Either way, it was startling to actually see Eto here now.

“Hinami-chan! Exactly the person I was looking for.” She wrapped an arm around Hinami’s shoulders, tugging the nervous girl closer to her. “Come, let’s have a nice stroll whilst the weather is still pleasant.”

Hinami had no choice but to give a small timid nod, tightening her clutch on the book she held against her chest. Eto still looked the same as she did when Hinami first saw her as Takatsuki Sen, with her wild green hair that went down to her slender waist and those wide eyes that had probably witnessed more than Hinami was willing to know, and yet she was nothing of the woman Hinami had first assumed her to be. It only made her more uncomfortable when she was near now, knowing she was now the infamous Eto that was treated as queen around these parts and was known for her unpredictability and cynicism.

“So Hinami, about what we talked about last time when I asked if there was any particular gifts you had.” She had that look in her eyes, that look of wanting something and it sent a chill through Hinami. She could only manage to nod again. “The hearing, right? Well, if you couldn’t tell already, I think we could use something like that here. Of course, I know I brought you here so you can become strong, but it’d be a waste if we let this rare talent of yours to go to waste.”

They were outside now, walking through an archway of trees where the sunlight spilled through the cracks in the branches, different flowers lining the cobblestone pathway into the large greenhouse. Inside were an array of different rose bushes that gave off a sweet fragrance that filled the room. It was beautiful, but her attention was quickly brought back by Eto’s voice, who was still talking about how useful her hearing will be.

“I must confess, I’m a little jealous.” Eto giggled, hopping onto one of the waist high walls that surrounded the rose bushes with ease. “At fourteen, I could barely hear anything that was simply a room away. With training, I’m more than certain your hearing will outmatch even the most adept ghouls here.” She balanced on her toes as she walked, smirking to herself as she set up this plan to turn Hinami into another weapon for her to use. “We’ll still need to focus on building up your other strengths, which I’m sure Ayato will have no problem with, but since I doubt you barely have the capability to kill a fly, I want this to be your focus for now.”

Hinami winced at her words. Barely have the capability to kill a fly. It’s been nearly a year and it wasn’t as if she had made a massive amount of progress in becoming the strong woman she needed to be, yet it still stung when someone like Eto reminded her that she was still the weak child as she was when she first came here, crying every night at the pain she felt.

“Understood, Eto-san.” Hinami bowed again and Eto gave her a satisfied smile, jumping off the wall and skipped past her, humming a small tune as she did so. She mentioned something about starting the training when the next mission comes about, but Hinami hadn’t paid much attention, instead walking towards the roses, admiring the beautiful colour of it’s petals.

“You look down.” Hinami jumped at Ayato’s voice, letting out a loud yelp as she turned to face him. He became startled himself, eyes widening whilst he stepped back. “S-Sorry, did I-”

“It’s fine, sorry.” Hinami turned her back to him, pressing her hands against her cheeks. She was sure she looked as flustered as she felt. Where did he even come from? “Were you there the whole time I was with Eto?”

Ayato nodded and rubbed the back of his neck with Hinami turned back around, his eyes still facing the floor. He seemed oddly bashful, or at least more so than the other times Hinami saw him. Maybe it was because she had startled him?

“Yeah, I hang around here sometimes, I didn’t think Eto and you would end up coming here.” There was an awkward pause then, Hinami desperately trying to come up with something to talk about, but to her relief, Ayato spoke once again. “So you have good hearing or something?”

“Yeah, I can hear an extraordinary amount just by focusing my hearing.” Ayato raised his brow at this, with either skepticism or confusion, making Hinami chuckle a little. “Ok, to be specific, I can tell how many people are in a room, their mass, what they’re saying and by the sounds of their actions, I can easily predict what they’re doing too without having to be anywhere near the room.”

Ayato stared at her then, with what Hinami hoped to be amazement as his eyes were now wide and his jaw hung agape slightly, his frown showing he was still trying to figure out how she was able to manage all that. He cleared his throat and blinked hard, shaking his head a little.

“You can do all that? That’s…” It seemed he was about to say something then, but stopped himself. “Impressive. It hardly seems realistic, though.”

“Oh, sure it is. I could even show you how!” Hinami giggled and she stepped forward. He flinched and she hesitated, a worried look in her eyes and Ayato sighed, pouting as he told her he would try. Her smile returned instantly. “Now close your eyes.”

“Haah, why would I do that? How do I know I can trust you?”

“Shush, just do it.”

He grumbled something about her being annoying and he shut his eyes, still frowning. She almost wanted to flick his head for always looking so grumpy, but instead, she placed her hands over his ears. He froze at the feeling of her hands against him and it relieved Hinami that he at least didn’t open his eyes, since she was feeling quite embarrassed herself.

“For some reason, I don’t think covering my ears will help me hear better.” She shushed him again and he sighed with some frustration.

“Now focus.” She spoke with a hushed voice, trying to pick something he himself could try to pick out. “There’s children outside, but you need to figure out how many there are and what they’re doing.”

“How am I-”

“Seek them out. Don’t think too much about it, just try to listen until you can find what you need.”

Ayato felt more confused the more she spoke, but he did as she told anyway. Even with his ears covered, he heard certain noises. A bird chirping, flying over the greenhouse. No, the children would be further away. Then he heard something creaking - the old swing that hung from a nearby tree. Not there either. He tried to concentrate his hearing, squeezing his eyes and he heard...running. But it wasn’t just one person, no, it sounded like...six. Six feet, meaning three children. They were laughing, their feet scuffing against the gravel. They were playing tag, by the sounds of it.

“Three children playing tag.” He opened his eyes and saw Hinami respond with a big smile, her eyes lit up. She took her hands away and took him to one side of the greenhouse, pointing out to the far distance where three children were playing in front of the base’s entrance. He could barely hear their childish shouts now.

“Woah.”

. . .

Ayato watched her from the distance, seeing Hinami stretch a few times before she slipped off her faded green cardigan. It had one or two noticeable holes on it, but it wasn’t like she could go out and buy something new. Perhaps he could ask Miza to help her out, especially now she was turning fifteen and had started to grow out from her usual clothes. Ayato shook his head, deciding to focus on the training session, but just as he was about to turn around, he caught sight at the fresh scars poking through the top of her tank top.

He cringed at the sight, knowing full well the toll Hinami was taking from the kagune training - especially since she was a chimera - Eto was making her do. The wounds wouldn’t be that bad had she not have been pushed past her usual boundaries during the training. After all, her attacks, once trained some more, would pack a lot of punch with both her rinkaku and koukaku. It was no wonder Eto was training her to use it more effectively, but to add to all this, she was now also making Hinami tag along in more dangerous missions with Tatara always trying lecture her into spilling blood.

Though Hinami couldn’t do it. Not at first anyway. Since she had arrived to this base, Ayato knew she was too soft for such a rough place and yet she never allowed it to get the best of her. Even so, he could’ve never imagined her doing such things the way Aogiri did and for a while, she didn’t. Or, well, that was the time she was still held back as support, but eventually, the higher ups wanted more from her.

At first, Ayato had tried his best to help. He still remembered how he would cruelly kick Hinami off to the side, a memory he’d rather not think about, and would kill the people Tatara had asked Hinami to kill. He was willing to hear any lecture from Tatara with him responding with the usual short tempered response just so that he wouldn’t have to witness Hinami be forced to do the one thing she couldn’t. Of course, this couldn’t last forever, as he had always remind her, and one day, she returned with a splatter of blood staining her clothes that had torn holes behind where the kagune was released.

However, at the moment, the only thing he had his focus on was the deep regretful look in those usually lit up eyes of hers. They were bloodshot from the crying she had done on the way back from the mission, the tears stained on her dirty cheeks and instead of comforting her, he could only stand there in silence as she walked past, not knowing what it was he could say that could bring any comfort to her now. Was there anything he could’ve said?

“You okay?” Hinami brought his attention back and he gave her a small nod, turning away as if nothing was wrong. “I’ve been doing what you’ve been suggesting and started training myself in my spare time.”

“You don’t have to push yourself.” He said quickly, his voice barely a whisper, but he knew she heard. “You’re just going to strain your body and you’ll be even more helpless when you do.”

He turned around and saw her stand there awkwardly. Her hair was also getting long, he noticed whilst she tied it up, her fringe now covering her eye. She was in a white tank top and green leggings, Ayato noticing her body was a little more...shaped. Biting his lip, he tried to avert his focus and took off his jacket, leaving him only in a black shirt and he stepped forward, raising his fists. Hinami did the same, taking the same stance as he had taught her some time ago. It took a while to adjust, but it seemed she was making some significant progress in these session of theirs.

“Ready?” He asked and she gave a nod, pressing her lips together.

She ran forward and threw her first punch, Ayato easily dodging it, but she quickly turned her body and gave another punch, Ayato catching her wrist this time and twisting it behind her, Hinami grunting at the roughness of his actions. With her free hand, she elbowed his side and Ayato winced, his grip loosening and giving Hinami the chance to take her hand back and step back. Ayato made the first move this time, not giving her the chance to focus and one of his punches slammed into the side of her jaw. She stumbled down onto her knees, a hand against her cheek as she looked back at him with a glare, Ayato ready to kick her down.

As his foot came down, Hinami rolled to the side, the kick missing her and she leaped up with her fist ramming into his stomach. Ayato let out a gasp, the air being knocked out of him and before he could straighten, he felt Hinami land a kick right into his face, a dull ache all across the side of his face as he landed right down onto the floor. Her attacks were a lot stronger than last time.

“Ow.” Ayato groaned, watching Hinami crouch down to him on the floor.

“I’m sorry! Was that too much? I didn’t hold back and-” Ayato slowly got back onto his feet, Hinami’s voice going off into a mumble and got back onto her feet too, fiddling nervously with her hands. “It doesn't hurt too much, does it?”

Ayato watched her wait for a response, her eyes filled with such worry and concern. Ayato let out a sigh and pinched her cheek with a soft smile growing on his lips. He walked past to get the towel on the side, rubbing the bruise that was already beginning to form on his cheek.

“If you keep worrying like that, you won’t get far in these training sessions.” He then looked back, watching her head drop at his comment. “Good work.”

For a brief moment, he saw her light up again, her hand raised to hide the smile she wore and he couldn’t help but feel a flutter in his stomach at the sight. His smile was still there when he came back, pride flowing through him as he took the stance again.

“Ready for round two?”

. . .

The first thing he noticed when he went back to the dormitories was the distinct smell of coffee. He already knew it was Hinami making another cup of coffee for people, though why she always did so around the time he returned from Eto and Tatara’s endless errands still confused him. Regardless, considering Hinami’s room was only a few doors away, it was always the first thing he noticed when returning to his room.

He dumped his exhausted body onto his bed, face landing into the pillow and he let out a long moan of frustration. There were a few things he wanted to do before finally being able to sleep, but suddenly he couldn’t remember a single one of them for the life of him. He could already feel himself drifting away, half his body still hanging off the bed and the thought that he could still hear Hinami’s voice in his head.

“Ayato-kun.” He heard Hinami whisper next to him and he yelled out in sudden fear before accidentally falling off the bed, Hinami jumping back a little as she watched Ayato lay unmoving on the floor. “I killed him…”

He mumbled something against the floor and when Hinami asked with a giggle what it was he said, instead of answering, he just got up and sat on the bed, slapping his cheeks to wake himself up. He finally looked at Hinami, who was dressed in short sleeved white blouse and a navy blue skirt that went up to her knees. In her hands, Hinami carried two cups of coffees for both of them. With a smile, she sat down on the bed next to him and offered him his cup, which he took with a small thank you.

She sat watching him, noticing the bags that hung under his tired eyes and the deep frown that seemed to be carved into his face at this point. Though that wasn’t saying much, considering how grumpy he always had been. Still, when he looked back at her after taking a long sip, his eyes always softened, his face relaxing a little and she’d always smile in return. The last thing he wanted was an unfriendly face after such a long day doing dangerous missions.

“You cut your hair.” Ayato commented, reaching up to perhaps touch her before he pulled his hand back, placing it firmly back around the mug. “It looks good.”

She blushed, as usual, but only shrugged, taking a sip of her own coffee. She hadn’t expected him to notice, but she supposed it wasn’t anything meaningful.

“Miza did it for me, saying it would make it easier in combat.” She laughed then, Ayato’s heart quickening at the sound of her giggles. “Besides, I thought it would be a nice change now that I’m sixteen.”

Ah, right. She was sixteen now, wasn’t she? Two years had already passed between them and yet Ayato couldn’t help but feel like it had been a lot longer than that. They had spent a lot of their time together when she first came here, Ayato being responsible for her training as the new member of the group, but that reminder only stung him more as he realised that now that her training was complete and his list of assignments only growing with each passing day, they were spending less time together as he would’ve wanted. He would never admit it though, so instead of mentioning anything of his thoughts, he just repeated what he said before and took another sip.

“Do you like it?” Her question confused him at first until he realised she was referring to the coffee.

“It tastes...nostalgic. It’s nice.” He could tell that she knew what he had meant instantly with the way she smiled in relief. “I suppose this was the result of aneki teaching you. I always liked the way she made hers.”

He smiled to himself then, remembering all the way back to the days when he still lived with Touka, waking up to her yelling at him to get up and that his coffee was ready for him. He may not have acted like it, but he honestly really enjoyed those days of comfort, both of them seeming to move on from the past they’ve been burdened with. And yet, eventually, Touka became involved in the human world more and more and it frightened Ayato to think that they were only being led down the same path of ignorance that their parents had followed before, so he did the only thing he could think of and left, hoping he could become strong enough to watch over Touka when she would inevitably fall into the same trap as their father. Even so...The things he had done, could he even call her his sister anymore? Did he have that right?

All of a sudden, his smile faded and his frown returned, Ayato almost scowling. His grip tightened around the cup and he closed his eyes, his jaw clenching and Hinami figured it must’ve been from being reminded of the memories he would rather forget. She knew of the things he had done to Touka, heard Irimi and the manager discuss it one time, and at the time, Hinami felt a deep hatred towards Ayato for the things he had done to his own sister. However, seeing him now, she knew he held nothing but regret for the actions he had done in the past, and he always spoke of Touka with a joy Hinami rarely saw from him at all. He wasn’t nearly what she had imagined him to be at first.

“You know, she always talked about how she made these coffees for you and how you would always end up burning your tongue, since you would drink it far too quickly.” She looked at him, hoping her comment would lighten him up, but he only seemed more pained at her words. “She misses you. She never held resentment against you either. I hope one day we can meet her again.”

“She’d want to see you, that’s for sure. I mean, if you could anyway…”

“Right, I can’t, can I? Leave the base without permission that is.” She sighed and finished the rest of her coffee, Ayato doing the same. “I really do miss the others. Onee-chan, onii-chan, Banjou and even Tsukiyama of all people.” She let out a sad laugh, leaning back against the wall. “But I can’t until I’m strong. I can’t be a burden, not anymore.”

Ayato stared at her then, eye’s a little widened and Hinami sat a little confused at his reaction. He almost seemed offended, of all things, but she couldn’t imagine why. That is, until he finally said something.

“But you’re...stro-” He stopped himself before finishing, feeling his cheeks heat up and he shook his head, turning his back to her. “You’re not a burden. It’s not healthy to think like that and...It’s not true.”

Hinami was a little startled by his words, realising it was anger in his reaction. His tone was soft, tinged with an almost pained sadness, but he didn’t really care that much, right? Hinami was the biggest burden to him, after all. This must be simple kindness to comfort her, but it was still strange to hear such kindness from him. It wasn’t as if he was never kind, he was just always so unwilling to show that side of him.

Before she could give any kind of response, he got up and took her mug from her, murmuring that he was going to wash them up and head to the showers, not even glancing back on the way out. She wondered for a moment if she had upset him in any way, but decided it may just be best to leave it until she next saw him, considering he was tired enough as it is. She just can’t seem to stop being trouble for him.

. . .

The prison cell was cold. Dim. Plain. It had been a few months now and still, she could never find comfort in this new home of hers. She grew more frail as the weeks passed, her limbs stiff and her body grew thin. She missed the feeling of the sun against her skin, or the cold rain on her face. It had been so long since she knew the comfort of a simple breeze, or seeing something more than the concrete walls that surrounded her day in and out. She would be driven to insanity if it wasn’t for the books onii-chan had given her and her one tether of hope that he’d see her again. But...it had been so long now and that one tether was slowly beginning to snap.

It was stupid really, how she ended up here in the first place. The one time she had finally been given the chance to save the man she loved and put use to the strength she had built up year after year and she still somehow ended up failing. How pathetic. And now she couldn’t do anything for anyone, besides perhaps giving the small amount of information that still deemed her as valuable. At first, she even contemplated the chance that someone may even come to save her, but the mere thought made her laugh at the ridiculousness of it. Who would save a weak girl who was nothing but a burden?

When not reading the same usual stories from the same books or writing her thoughts down on the paper she was given every now and again, she would often think about the people she missed. There was the manager, Kaneki, Touka, Irimi and Koma, Nishiki, Banjou and his small group, Miza and Naki and she couldn’t help but especially miss Ayato.

They had spent so many years together that it was strange now not to be by his side. It amused her to think of how he grew soft over the years now that she was looking back to them growing up together. Most may have hated him in her place with how roughly he treated her, but she knew he was a kind person deep down and it only made it more special to see him finally show that side to her at times.

One time particularly came back to her; it was a cold night and she had caught the flu, but she tried her best not to let that get in the way and decided she’d make a coffee for her and Ayato, as she almost always did, but when she arrived at his room, realising he must be running late, she ended up lying down and fell asleep. She woke up briefly and noticed she was being carried by Ayato, a wet cloth on her burning head and he took her to her bed, wrapping her up in every blanket he could find in the room. After that, he had stayed with her until she fallen asleep again, despite the fact that he was struggling to stay awake himself. She still thought back to that memory fondly, knowing that even when having to deal with her so much, he never treated her cruelly or held resentment.

It was painful to think that she may never see him again, to never walk through the greenhouse together where all the roses grew or have the usual small conversation they always had with their freshly brewed coffee late at night. Remembering Ayato brought as much pain as it did comfort and it only reminded her that if she was just simply strong enough, none of this would even have to happen. Who knows what Ayato must be thinking right about now, but Hinami hoped he wouldn’t feel too responsible over her to do something reckless. The same for anyone else. Maybe...It’d just be better if she was forgotten.

How long has it been now?

. . .

Ayato was still packing his backpack, grumbling about how Kaneki always gave him the worst of the missions. He was to be sent deeper into the underground to find some one eyed ghoul from decades ago. He’d be lying if he said this whole mission seemed useless in the long run, but he couldn’t exactly say no to the new ‘king’ of ghouls. And so, with a louder even more agitated sigh, he zipped up the bag and set it aside, ready for tomorrow where he’d be leaving with the small group of his at dawn.

That was when he heard a knock at his door.

“Ayato-kun?” Hinami peeked her head in and smiled when she saw Ayato. She then turned her gaze to his bag and flinched slightly. “Already packed, I see. I only heard about your mission today and, um, I just wanted to return this.”

She held up his jacket that he had given her all the way back in Cochlea when he, and the others he had asked to help, came to save her from her very near death. Since then, they had seen very little of each other. The time they did spend together was precious, but they never really talked about what had happened really, though she was sure Ayato was as unwilling as her to dwell on the mistakes of the past. Either way, after hearing that she wouldn’t be able to see him for another...well, who knows how long he’ll be gone for? She immediately felt the need to talk to him again, to take this chance to finally spend some time together, just as they did back in Aogiri.

“Oh, right.” He took the jacket, looking between it and Hinami. “You could keep it, you know. I don’t really need it.”

“Nonsense! It’ll be cold down there and I don’t want you getting a cold.” He tutted and she was afraid she had annoyed him already, but he ruffled her hair and placed the coat besides his bag.

“Is that the only reason you came here? I thought you were reading with the kids.”

“Well...I wanted to say goodbye before I lost the chance.” She averted her eyes, growing nervous. “I wish we had more time together.”

He didn’t expect that.

“I have some time now. I won’t be leaving until tomorrow.” What was he saying? “If that’s okay with you.”

He placed a hand on her shoulder and she jumped a little, looking up to see him gazing at her with soft eyes and a small smile. How long would it be before she got to see this face again? Without thinking, she reached up and brushed a strand of his hair away from his face, noticing it was getting long again. When she realised what she was doing, she freezed and quickly took her hand away, laughing awkwardly whilst coming up with the excuse that there was something on his face. He took a deep breath and pulled her closer, his arms moving to wrap around her small frame.

“Don’t look so sad, I’ll be back soon. Besides, it’s just me, you have the others.” She hesitated for a moment, but she returned the embrace, burying her face into his chest. “I’ll miss you too.”

“I’ve never noticed before, but…” she tightened her grip, listening to his rapid heartbeat, “you’re so warm.”

She felt him laugh and he squeezed her tighter against him and parted, Hinami already missing the loss of contact. He mimicked her actions and pushed back the fringe covering her eye, his eyes locked onto hers and he leaned forward, pressing his lips against her head. She was hoping for more, desperate for him to stay this close, to stay close to her, but she was only disappointed to see him move back, his eyes now set on the door. Turning back to see where he was looking, she found a subordinate of Ayato’s standing by the door awkwardly.

“The king has asked to go through some final things with you, Ayato.” Ayato nodded begrudgingly, Hinami noticing his lips twitch with annoyance.

The subordinate leaves and Ayato takes the jacket from his bed, Hinami hugging herself as she watched him grumble to himself. He turned to her, noticing her downcast eyes and sad frown and he lifted her head by the chin, wiping away the tears she didn’t know were rolling down her cheeks.

“I’m sorry.” His voice was hushed and she smiled back, sniffling.

“It’s fine. Really. You should go, the kids are waiting for me anyway.” He patted her shoulder one last time, hesitating slightly before he finally forced himself away from her and left. “It’s fine…”

. . .

When he arrived at the furthest tent in the small base the ghouls and humans had set up for the injured, he immediately spotted Hinami sleeping in one of the beds near the corner. A doctor was checking her and pulled the curtain across to give her more privacy. As he walked towards her, he noticed the other injured ghouls around him, most missing limbs or were bleeding profusely, all of them beaten black and blue. He cringed at the sight, thinking about the state Hinami must be in.

He had heard from Touka of the fight she went through. To defend Touka and the weaker ghouls, she stayed behind to keep off the CCG attackers. From the whispers of some of the CCG personnel, it was told that she fought like a demon, tearing through the onslaught of attackers that tried to get near her. Despite his worry, he was feeling a swell of pride until he found out about her leg. Suzuya, that makeshift reaper, sliced right through it. It gave him great relief to know that Kaneki came in time to save her from death, but of course, the price was too high. No doubt Hinami was drowning in guilt right about now. She could never shake off the feeling of being a burden to others.

The doctor came out from behind the curtain where Hinami was, Ayato trying to catch her attention. He caught a glimpse of Hinami’s severed leg that was propped up on the bed, covered in several bloody bandages. Squeezing his eyes shut, he forced his attention away to ask the doctor if he was permitted to her now.

“Oh, you must be Ayato. She was asking for you.” She offered a strained smile, looking back towards Hinami’s bed. “Just try to be gentle to her, she’s still shaken from what happened underground.”

With a nod, Ayato walked over to Hinami’s bed, pulling the curtain completely around to give them more privacy. The last thing they needed was people watching their reunion after so many weeks. He just wished it was on better terms. However, as soon as he looked at Hinami, he noticed she was already asleep.

Dark shadows hung beneath her eyes, her skin more pale than it was before he left. She had thinned too, her cheeks more defined and her hair clotted with mud and blood. As far as he could see, besides her leg, she didn’t have any other major wounds, but her state and no doubt her mental health was what worried him more. Still, he wasn’t going to wake her up for his sake. He sat down in the seat besides the bed and watched her breathe slowly, stirring slightly in her sleep as her brows furrowed every now and again. She looked exhausted and drained of life, but he still thought she was the cutest girl around, not that he was willing to admit such a thing to her.

There was so many things he wanted to tell to her, the things he saw underground, the plans the others were making and how sorry he was that he wasn’t there to help her in her time of need. Of course he wasn’t implying that she wasn’t strong enough to handle it herself, but since losing her in the auction raid, he wanted nothing more than to stay by her side in whatever battle she had to face. And yet, he still failed to keep to this promise he made to himself and hated how close she was in facing death. He shuddered at the thought that if Kaneki wasn’t there, the first news he heard after returning from the underground would have been that he’d never get to see her beautiful face again.

He raised his hand, pausing for a moment before he stroked her cheek with the back of his hand. Licking his lips and pressing them together, he then got up from his seat and cupped her face, leaning down to rest his head against hers.

“I’m an awful person.” He whispered, rubbing small circles with his thumbs. “I completely forgot to say goodbye before I left.” He laughed to himself then, Hinami stirring in her sleep. “I also didn’t get the chance to…”

He brushed his lips lightly against her cheek, planting another light kiss to the corner of her mouth. It was then that he felt Hinami’s hand over his, her wide eyes tearing up as they gazed into his. He was about to move back, but as he did, Hinami leaned forward and her lips pressed awkwardly at the side of his mouth. She let out a small squeak and pulled back, hiding her face in her hands.

“I-I’m sorry! I don’t know why...You’re b-back. When did you-” As she spoke, he moved her hands away from her face and she saw his face was a deep shade of red. He probably felt as embarrassed as she did, but neither wanted to move away.

“I got back recently, with three kids too.” He snorted, glancing away. His hands still held her wrists, his body leaning over hers. Hinami thought it was best not to ask about the kids right now. “But how are you doing?”

He moved back then, though Hinami was willing to protest against it, and he moved one hand to her wounded leg, a pained expression replacing the soft one he wore before. She tried not to look at it, the wound nothing more than a reminder of her mistakes, but Ayato seemed more regretful than she was.

“It’s fine. It’ll heal once I’m able to eat more food.” She spoke quickly, her voice quiet, shrinking back from him. “I guess right now I’m pretty useless, huh-”

“You’re not useless. You’re strong, Hina. Stronger than anyone else I know and-- I--”

“Ayato?”

She was cut off by Ayato’s lips against hers. At first she gasped, unsure what to do and the kiss started clumsy, it being more of a peck than anything and when Ayato moved back, expecting her to get angry or something, she only rests her hand against his cheek and pulled him in again. He kissed her so lightly, his hands gently grabbing onto her shoulders as she ran her fingers through his hair. He was so close and she didn’t want to let him go. Not again.

He could feel his heart slamming against his chest, his hands shaking as he moved them to the nape of her neck, deepening their kiss. His tongue moved to part her lips, Hinami letting out a small whine and her hands gripped his hair, tugging it slightly. He had to wonder if any of this was real, that he was holding the girl he thought he could never have, but now he never wanted to let her go. There was nothing more he wanted than to show her that she wasn’t useless, that she was important and valued. He hoped he could show her that.

After awhile, they finally parted and they stared at each other for a few seconds in silence, both breathing heavily until they started to laugh, Hinami resting her head against his shoulder whilst continuing to giggle with delight. She sighed then, looking back to her leg and hearing the chatter from outside of the tent. For a moment, it was almost like they had escaped this war. Or rather, she hoped they had.

“Do you have to go?”

“Probably. We still need to get Kaneki from that...What is it? A long poop?” Hinami laughed again, whacking the side of his arm. “It won’t be like I’ll gone for months again, don’t worry.”

“Just be safe. Please.” He kissed her again and straightened, smiling down at all. “Promise me, Ayato.”

“Hey, you’re talking to the guy who got shot down by missles and survived. You just worry about making sure you can eat more. I liked your chubby cheeks.” He pinched her and before she could protest, he was leaving, telling the doctor she needed more food. “Bye, Hina.”

She missed how he called her that.

. . .

It had been a week now. The room was quiet, except the constant beeping of the heart monitor that continued its steady beeping. Hinami watched the line move in the same rhythm as it had done the past six days, but she couldn’t help think that at any moment it would stop, leaving nothing but the sound of the flatline boring into her skull. It was a horrid thought, yet it never left her mind, the fear that it could occur haunting her day and night.

Ayato’s face always remained the same - he was relaxed, the oxygen mask fogging up with every breath he took. Produced veins crawled over his skin and some days they’re more noticeable than others. His hair was greasy with sweat and was stained with blood, a few bruises still healing across his body. The last time she saw him, the first thing she noticed were merely the bags under his eyes and now...it was hard to look at him sometimes, thoughts of the horrors he must’ve faced still leaving her stomach churning with nervousness and her mind dizzy with fear. The only thing she could do right now was cling onto his hand, praying he would eventually open his eyes.

She kept telling herself to keep her hopes up, that there hasn’t been signs of him worsening, but with each passing day, it became difficult to keep up the facade of optimism that held her back from falling apart completely. Though of course, she should really be focusing on Ayato’s recovery. She didn’t want to be selfish, not again, but she missed feeling his arms around as he told her it would be ok. God, if he were to die now…

“Hinami.” She turned to see Touka walk into the room, offering Hinami a sympathetic smile. When she neared, she gave her a long hug, taking a seat next to her. “How’s he doing?”

“Nothing bad but nothing good.” Hinami kept her head against Touka’s chest, this hug being the only comfort she’s had all day. “Why did this have to happen?”

“Hey, look at me.” She pulled Hinami back and pressed her palm against Hinami’s cheek, a stern look in her eye. “He’s going to make it. He’s a Kirishima, we don’t go down easily. Not without a fight. It looks bad now, but with time, it’ll get better.”

“And if it doesn’t?”

“It will.” Her voice was never hesitant, never wavering in uncertainty. Hinami always admired that of her, wishing she could be as cool headed. “And when he does, he’s going to scold you for not looking after yourself. Look at you, you’ve been in the same clothes for three days now and you need proper sleep.”

Hinami looked back at Ayato, the thought of leaving and something possibly happening whilst she was away…

“Don’t worry, you’re not going to miss anything.” Hinami finally and reluctantly agreed and got up, her body stiff and weak. Touka helped her to the cafe area where Touka bought her a coffee. It didn’t taste as good as hers, but it still gave her the little energy she needed.

“How are you, onee-chan? And onii-chan? I should’ve asked sooner.” Touka laughed and told her it was fine, Hinami relaxing a little more. She hadn’t realised how long it had been since she just sat down and had a simple conversation with Touka. “How about the baby?”

“Well, since the whole battle, Kaneki has been trying to spend more time with me, despite his duties. I think almost leaving us scared him about not being able to see me enough. Saying that, that all changes when I suggest cutting his hair. And the baby is still doing well, or well from Kimi’s tests, that’s all we can assume for now.”

“Onii-chan always was afraid of losing you.” Hinami chuckled, blowing her coffee before taking a small sip. “Must be nice having someone to go home to.”

“You know, I never asked. Did you and Ayato end up together? You make a really cute couple!” Hinami choked on her drink, Touka smirking at her reaction. “I’ll take that as a yes then.”

“Uh, well-- you see, that isn’t-- the thing is…” Her voice trails off, raising her hand to hide her flushed face. “W-We kissed when I was healing just before the Clowns attacked, but, well, I wasn’t sure if anything was official. Things just keep getting in the way between us.”

Touka leaned back in her seat, nodding and raised her own cup to take a drink. She then lifted her eyes to meet Hinami’s and tapped the edge of her mug, as if she was thinking up something in that mind of hers.

“Do you love him?” She said it so casually that Hinami had to question if Touka was just teasing her. “You’ve already spent a lot of time growing up together, from what I’ve heard from Ayato. Are you fond of him?”

“I-I,” she stammered, unsure on how respond, “I g-guess? I’ve never really thought about it.”

“It’s just natural?” Hinami nodded and Touka’s usual smile returned, placing her mug down. “Well, I know Ayato definitely loves you. I’m surprised you don’t notice the way he looks at you.”

“O-Onee-chan…”

“I’m serious! He’s crazy about you. The first thing he asked after yelling if I really did get married to Kaneki was if you were ok. The look in his eyes! He’s definitely in love with you.”

“Ok! I get it!” Hinami buried her head into her hands, shaking her head. One part of her wanted Touka to stop talking, but another was curious if she was actually speaking the truth. How had she not notice-

“Excuse me.” A nurse came over to their table, Hinami’s blood suddenly running cold all of a sudden. She sat up, her body tense and her heart beating in her ears. “Are you Touka Kirishima, Ayato Kirishima’s sister?”

Touka nodded quickly, standing up with the same look of fear that Hinami had. She immediately asked if he was ok, and to their relief, the nurse told them he was before he led them back to his room. All the while, Hinami could barely focus on her surroundings, her thoughts screaming at her with both worry and excitement. A million questions crossed her mind, too impatient for an answer and when she finally saw Ayato’s room, she sped up, moving past Touka and the nurse to the door.

There, in his room, was Ayato sat up in bed. Hinami stopped in her step, gasping with her hands over her mouth and tears already threatening to fall from her eyes. Her knees buckled and she leaned against the doorframe for support. He looked at her, his mask now off and his eyes wide with confusion. They weren’t the usual colour of deep blue, but the black and red of the kakugan. She stumbled forward, hands shaking as she reached out to caress his cheeks, which were rough and uneven with the RC veins and she stared for a good few minutes, trying to take in the fact that he was alive.

“H-Hinami?” Ayato croaked, his voice coarse. “You’re here.”

“Of course I am, dummy.” She cried, pulling him into a tight hug. She never wanted to let him go again. “I’ll always be here for you.”

“No need to be so corny.” Despite the words, he hugged her back, burying his face into the crook of her neck. “I feel like death, but it’s nice when you hold me like this.”

“Hey, lovebirds, what about me?” Touka laughed between her tears. Ayato stared at her, completely overwhelmed with the fact they were both waiting for him. Touka walked over and gave Ayato a bone crushing hug, leaving him pleading for mercy. “That’s what you get for trying to sacrifice yourself like some goddamn hero!” She pulled his ear with an annoyed scowl. “Don’t ever do that again. And apologise to Hinami!”

“For what?! I just woke up, woman.”

Hinami burst out laughing at the sight, insisting it was fine, but Ayato did apologise anyway, Hinami holding his hand in return. After a quick examination from the doctor, they spent the next hour just chatting, some moments more serious than others. Overall, every time Hinami saw Ayato speak or simply look at her, even with his kakugan eyes, she felt the swell of joy drown out all other thoughts.

There was still this never ending battle against so many things and there was so much lost time to make up for, but somehow, now that she had Ayato by her side once again, along with the other people she loves, she now had that reassurance that maybe things will turn out well. She would learn from her mistakes, she won’t look back at the past and she’ll help in anyway she could. This tragedy had hope yet.

. . .

Ayato sighed, closing his eyes as he took in the warmth of the sun. Summer had finally came round and it was incredibly hot. He hated the warm whether, preferring the colder winters where the days were shorter and gave him an excuse to stay at home when the weather was too dangerous to go out in. The heat only made things uncomfortable, the days too long and the streets too crowded. Even so, Hinami had managed to convince him to go out with her, since the three underground kids were insistent that they wanted to play outside, considering how they never actually got to see the sun.

So here he was, lying on the side of the hill under a cherry blossom tree. He heard someone nearing him and he sat up to see Hinami walk towards him. She was dressed in some white shorts, along with a blue tank top, a light white lace cardigan and sandals that tied around her legs. Her fringe was pinned back, her now longer hair tied up into a bun and a big grin on her face. Well...there was some benefits to summer.

“Did you really have to wear black in summer?” She huffed, taking a seat besides him and he grinned back, resting an arm around her shoulders. “You must be hot.”

“No need to flatter me, Hina, but I guess I am pretty hot.” She jabbed him with her elbow, hating how he made this joke every summer. “I mean, what do you want me to do? Not wear anything at all?”

“Well, if you insist. I won’t argue.” She pressed a hand against his chest, straddling him before pushing him down onto the ground. She leaned down, kissing him deeply. “Though I’m worried others might steal you from me if they saw this body of yours.”

“I never took you to be the jealous type.” He pushed her around, his body leaning over hers and he kissed alongside her jaw, stopping at her ear. “Besides, who wants someone with all these scars. I must admit, Hina, you’re the only one who’s into them. Is this like some exclusive kink?”

“Hey, there’s nothing wrong with these scars.” She brushed the tips of her fingers against his cheeks, where faded lines from the RC veins still remained. “I’ve told you this many times.”

It had been two years since that moment of time. Ayato did eventually recover from the seemingly permanent kakugan and veins that ran across his body, along with the times where the kagune had taken control and wrapped itself as a kakuja around Ayato’s body and with the cure created, thanks to Kaneki’s immunity, they were able to help Ayato heal in a lot more rapid pace. He still at times feared that he would lose control again, especially now he lived in an apartment with Hinami, but Hinami would always reassured him otherwise. With some time, he was finally able to relax a little and for the better.

“I know…” He never took his eyes off Hinami, loving how she never seemed to hesitate whenever she said this. He honestly didn’t know what he did to deserve her. “It’s never boring to hear you say it though.”

At this, she smiled, leaning back up to press her lips against the fading scars on his cheeks, knowing full well how sensitive his skin was there. He gasped for a moment, pulling back with a smirk and Hinami giggled at his face, pulling him down for another kiss. It still amazed Ayato that this was even happening, that he’d have her in his arms after thinking he would lose her so many times before. But it was real and she was there, always standing by his side no matter what. After so long, they could finally be...happy.

And he hoped that fact would never change.