#b) even when slurs are reclaimed like. it still feels weird to have them be used in the NYT

[ponderosapineneedles]

.

[nothorses]

Asking on anon because I don't feel like getting fucking lambasted by both radical sides of this. But I think they're are some folks that talk about transandrophobia (not you, baeddel-txt, etc) that are starting to pick up on toxic masculinity in the same way TIRFs picked up on TME/TMA shite and the like. (I have it on my blog but only because I'm tired of getting a toss up treatment from shallow transfems and getting reduced to either a cis man or them insinuating I'm not who I say I am, and the like. Frankly as of today I'm muting all of the related tags on both sides because frankly... I need a break).

I agree with y'all just like, be aware of it just like transfems should be aware of our own problems.

I also dislike the whole TIRFs "reclaiming" baeddel as a.) It's literally a ye old slur for intersex people (re: tfems having a problem with fetishizing intersex people, speaking from personal experience here)

b.) it reads like a far inferior version of reclaiming the tslur, which tbh, I would just prefer if they did that.

Also I guess if you ask this and you care so much about who's sending this, I'll reveal myself, just don't make it public because I don't need to be getting harassed by TIRFs for being a weird reject because I just choose to be both a girl and a boy identity wise and clearly the everything not binary fem phobia (even if I meet the criteria of not "CAFAB" to them.) they have is still clearly alive and well considering I took a soft ban 3 months ago for it. (After getting a full ban rolled back bc of staff reviewing it.)

The "baeddel"/TIRF ideology reminds me a lot of my own internalized transmisogyny turning me into a shithead radfem both pre and post coming out, but also everything else going with it.

That's not to say that there isn't some areas where it can be disproportionate. I also don't understand the obsession with violence statistics when a.) It shouldn't be happening period and b.) I don't think either side is accurately reported, really, unless it's entirely relying on self reporting. Also c.) I don't know how much of violence on trans SWers is reported in that, i could see it being even or even mildly trans fem biased, not statistically significant though.

I'll be honest here in that I am not 100% sure I'm understanding you correctly, but it sounds to me like you're making a couple of different points that I'd love to be able to engage with- I think I just need some clarification first so I can make sure I'm not completely misinterpreting what you're trying to get across.

So like, if it's cool, I would love a follow-up ask to clarify a couple of things!

What are folks doing with "toxic masculinity" that you feel is similar to what TIRFs have done with TME/TMA? My understanding would be that TME/TMA were turned into a kind of definitive label that people use to determine who's allowed to speak on certain issues, who's "oppressed enough" to matter, etc., but I don't really see a way that parallels "toxic masculininity" among folks who talk about transandrophobia. Unless you mean that people are distancing themselves from the possibility of being masculine in a toxic way on the basis of their identity? (If that's the case, I think I'm misunderstanding the connection to TME/TMA)

Could you expand on: "The "baeddel"/TIRF ideology reminds me a lot of my own internalized transmisogyny turning me into a shithead radfem"? I think the sentence after that muddied what you meant, for me, and I'm curious what insights you have there!

Also RE: statistics, I really agree that there need to be more studies and research into these issues in order to get any real sense of clarity. IMO the best uses for statistics of violence and discrimination against trans people, specifically stats that tell us who is facing what kind of discrimination, is to better understand the systems causing us harm in order to work towards dismantling them.

Trying to determine "who has it worst" overall is pointless and self-defeating. The goal should be to understand why transmascs tend to face more lifetime sexual violence, while transfems tend to face more childhood sexual violence. Not to decide which issue to give a shit about and which issue to ignore, or which trans people "deserve" to be prioritized over all the others.

I will also say that the study I draw from more than others is the U.S. Transgender Survey, which relies on self-reporting. I recommend checking them out if stats interest you; they're pretty expansive and had a massive sample size. The 2015 results have been published for a while, and 2022 results are coming soon.

[melancholic-entrails]

about me post time?? yessir B}

yoo, you can call me star/sil, any nicknames, applicable slurs, whatever. i'm just here for fun, gushing about fandoms i'm into, and sharing art infrequently.

I'M ALWAYS OK WITH ASKS/ comments/ reblogs, as long as you stay civil please!

i use any pronouns, but i really like it when people use a variety- i'm also cool with neopronouns and i love it/it's pronouns <3.

by the way, i am a minor, if that makes you uncomfortable block and move on.

-------stances on proshippers etc-----------

i believe in ship and let ship, kink tomato, don't like don't read, and am heavily anti-censorship and strongly believe that you can enjoy things or find things attractive in fiction that you wouldn't in real life.

i also believe that bullying, doxxing, seeking out people simply because of the things that they like in fiction or what have you, are much much worse than lolis or shotas or incest in fiction.

<- that doesn't mean you aren't allowed to feel uncomfortable with these things, it means you shouldn't to harass people over it.

i ship incest, i ship age gap occasionally, i ship all sorts of weird things. if that's not your cup of tea, block and move on. i forget to tag things a lot.

-------stances on labels----------

i don't care what labels you use, i care about whether or not you treat others with respect.

"terfs" do not treat others with respect. "radfems" do not treat others with respect. those who call others slurs- yes, even if they are allowed to reclaim those slurs- do not treat others with respect. those who use slurs that they are not able to reclaim do not treat others with respect. groomers, child or animal or anyone else molesters, etc, do not treat others with respect.

-------stances on endogenic/traumagenic system debate----------

man, i don't care. genuinely. and i mean that in the nicest way possible. i've noticed that people who are endogenic systems oftentimes do seem traumagenic. this doesn't mean that i think endogenic systems or nondisordered systems don't exist. i'm just saying that there isn't enough research about it, and at the end of the day, as long as you treat others with respect, and that includes yourself, it doesn't really matter.

-------stances on dysphoria or dysmorphia----------

being trans is feeling like ur body doesn't match up with your identity. that's not necessarily dysphoria. you don't have to have dysphoria to not be cis.

for dysmorphia, you can have dysmorphia for non human shit.

for otherkinity and the like, you do you! as long as it isn't hurting you if you recognize it, it doesn't matter <3

-------FUN STUFF! fandom list/tag system under the cut<3----------

i'm in way too many fandoms but the ones im most obsessed with are:

danganronpa: ( i'm currently playing drs, i've played all the main games and watched dr3, i won't spoiler tag stuff unless anyone following me specifically asks :3. i'm reading thru killer killer currently, and i already read dr0 and drif. i still need to read togami and kirigiri, but i'm sorta on a full on canon danganronpa content break, uknow. but if anyone wants to talk about dr with me I AM SO WILLING PLEASE :} ) btw, I 'most always tag #despaircest, so if u dont like them or are uncomfy block them!

yandere simulator: ( i just think they're neat, okay? i don't like the dev too much or whatever but its a free game that i play when i wanna lose braincells, also the lore is so fucked up and confusing and what can i say, thats awesome! ryoba my beloved <3 )

( under the cut for extras !! :D )

killing stalking: i finished the manwha a bit ago, i just think its neat, ok? also it made me cry.

emergence/metamorphosis: i have so much love for this hentai, it made me cry and that's weird as hell to say about a hentai manga. i just think it's neat and i see myself in her.

i love the game devs SadPandaStudios so muchhh, i love blush blush and crush crush ( both of these are free, by the way!! they're idle dating sims, and they did a collab with yansim one time, so ayano is a character in crush crush. i just think they're neat <3 )

i haven't watched it in a while but i have so much love for boy meets world,, AUGH pleaseee. also i watched girl meets world like 5 times before i dipped my dogs into the boy meets world series! shawn hunter my beloved..

i love doki doki literature club!! yuri is such a mood, i just think they're neat, natsuri ftw!

mirai nikki, i just think they're neat, it's continuity is weird, i haven't finished the series tho!! i started the manga before i started watching the anime series ( i think im on vol 7 of the manga? idk )

i love legend of zelda so much it's like my first fandom, i don't know everything 'bout the lore but i love it so much.

percy jackson, my probably second fandom ever?? i love it so much!! leo valdez is my fave, tbh, other than obscure characters. laughs in my silly heavy interest in greek/roman/egyptian mythology.

butterfly soup! i havent played it in a while but i love that vn series so much, pee pee ketchup man :3

i really really like stardew valley- i sorta play it in bursts where i obsess over it and then forget about it for three months, i'm in my not playing it for right now, but i really like it, concerned ape, tysm <3

UNDERTALE OMg. i kinda like deltarune more, just some of the characters, but the lore is so goddamn cool, i just think they're neat <- my motto lmao.

so i havent played all of the main ace attorney, i'm on the one where it's mia fey's trial, iykyk, but i haven't played all of it just so u know!!

Death Note!! I've watched all of it, still reading some of it but <333

Ouran Host Club i love her so much, she is babygirl, i read all the manga and watched the whole series.

Coffin of Andy and Leyley: i luv luv luv their dynamic, coffincest ftw ( block that tag if you're not interested!!)

i also really like yuri and yaoi, 'specially manga some of my faves are: bloom into you, strawberry fields once again, sasaki and miyano, and many moreee~

--

i'm reblog heavy, but i also draw and write/ramble. my small tagging system is!!:

art is tagged with #sildraws

misc/fandom rant is tagged with #silspeaks

and everything else is pretty chaotic. i very unreliably tag triggers or spoilers, i also won't tag anything for you, sorry. i'm unreliable and feel bad if i forget.

idm if you send art or writing requests: just go by the fandoms i wrote up above!!

--

misc section, kinda!:

i'm queer and leftist and pagan/occult, if that matters to you! also, for fictional others and stuff, i believe in multiverse theory, so idc about sharing or whatever. i haven't made an f/o list yet, but if anyone's interested i will :)

i wanna be an anthropologist/artist, i think. i mostly do traditional art, but i do ( crappy ) digital sometimes.

have a great day if you read this far!

[vampireqrow-moved]

um its my birthday so wait until 12:01am pst to block me if u hate this post 🥰🥰

long story short the pansexual label is redudant and actively harmful (its far from the worst problem bisexuals face but it is one issue) and i dont hate anyone who identifies as pan because A) those ppl are bi like me and B) i used to identify as pan myself.

if thats enough for you to block me and make a callout post for me then i cant stop you but pretty please either read this whole thing or just wait a few minutes for my bday to end 🥰🥰

anyways im kicking off this point with some personal experiences bc i love to talk to myself. i got introduced to the pan label at maybe 10ish years old, and started identifying with it pretty much right away. i heard about it before bisexual and it was pitched as attraction to all genders and of course trans people. i was of course a trans ally! i had trans friends! i was trans also but hadnt figured it out yet! the way i had heard of it, there was no bisexual, there was no need for bisexual, and identifying differently was excluding trans people, which I was certainly against. being bisexual was trans exclusionary and why would i exclude trans people? the 'hearts not parts' slogan was thriving around this time and i genuinely said it and meant it.

as i started to become more online, mostly through roleplaying websites and tumblr here, i started hearing of bisexuality. it was supposedly an older term, so older people still used it, but it was common knowledge that pansexual was the better, inclusive label and younger people should adopt the new inclusive language instead of the old and transphobic words like bisexual. /s

and then bi and pan solidarity was all the rage! pansexual wasnt erasing bisexuality, why did anyone ever think that? bi and pan were two separate and complete identities that were valid and had to be respected or youre a mean exclusionist. and an asexual person, hearing people labelled exclusionist always meant they were excluding people from the lgbta community who rightfully belonged, denying peoples lived experiences, and generally telling people theyre wrong about their sexuality because theyre too young. and all of those things were bad and had hurt me, so it would be ridiculous to change labels and support "pan exclusionists" because they were just as bad as ace and aro exclusionists, and they were all the same people. or so it seemed to me at that time.

then, 'hearts not parts' began getting called out for blatant transphobic by insinuating that pansexual was the only identity that loved people for their "hearts" and personalities instead of those gross gays, lesbians, bisexuals, and even straights who only saw people for their "parts". (STRAIGHT PEOPLE ARE NOT OPPRESSED. I AM MERELY POINTING OUT THAT PANSEXUALITY WAS SHOWN AS ABOVE ALL OTHERS.) many pan people, including myself, began to denounce the slogan and insist pansexuality wasnt transphobic, there had just been a coincidence that a transphobic slogan was everywhere and a huge part of people's explantions of and associations with pansexuality. hint: it wasnt a coincidence.

from my perspective, this is when i began to see people discussing dropping the word pansexual. that seemed to be a huge step from getting rid off a transphobic slogan, and these people were just meanies who hated microlabels. and i like microlabels! as a genderfluid person, and someone who has friends who use specific aro and acespec labels, ive seen how people can use them to name specific experiences while still acknowleging their presence underneath umbrella terms like aromantic, asexual, nonbinary, lgbta, and for some people, queer.

pansexuals dont do that. they dont label pansexuality as a specific set of experiences under the bisexual umbrella, they see themselves as a separate identity, and even if they started to, the history of biphobia and transphobic undeniably linked to the existence of pansexuality in enough to stop being worth using. but i digress. pansexualitys shiny new definition that many people cling to is that pansexual is attraction to all genders. bisexual is two or more genders.

which. frankly? doesnt make any sense. my guess is that its supposed to be inclusive of nonbinary genders and those a part of cultures who historically have not had a binary gender system in the first place. i cannot speak for the latter group, but as a nonbinary person, its not inclusive. anyone can be attracted to nonbinary people. literally anyone. theres no way to know if everyone you meet is nonbinary or not. whether or not a nonbinary person reciprocates those feelings and is interested in pursuing a relationship is completely up to the individual, regardless of the sexualities of the people involved.

bottom line is that you cant number the amounts of genders someone can be attracted to, thus rendering those definitions pointless. people can be attracted to all kinds of people regardless of gender, even if they are gay, a lesbian, or straight. all people can date thousands of nonbinary genders if all people involved are interested and comfortable with it. numbering the genders you can be attracted to diminishes the post of nonbinary, as it is not a third gender, it simply any experience not fitting within the western concept of the gender binary (if the person so chooses to identify as such. if you cant tell already, the nonbinary experience is varied between every single nonbinary person.) important to note also that no widely accepted bisexual text defines bisexual as attracted to exclusively two genders or even the "two or more genders". i know this is used a lot but please read the bisexual manifesto. its free online i promise.

some people also claim pansexuals experience "genderblind" attraction while bisexuals feel differently attracted to different genders. this is very nitpicky for whats supposed to be two unconnected idenities, but thats only part of the problem. this definition is also not in any widely accepted bisexual texts, and bisexuality has never excluded those who experience genderblind attraction. i am in fact a bi person who experiences genderblind attraction. this does not mean i am not bisexual. it simply means i experience bisexuality differently than other bisexuals, and thats wonderful! no broad communities like bisexuality are expected to all share the same experience. we are all so different and its amazing were able to come together under the bisexual flag.

last definition, or justification i should say, is that yes these definitions are redundant and theyre the same sexuality, but people prefer different labels and thats okay. i agree in principle. people can define themselves as many things like homosexuals or gays or lesbians or queers or even other reclaimed slurs, while still not labelling themselves under the most "common" or "accurate" labels.

but pansexuality isnt the same as bisexuality, which may sound silly but hear me out. it has been continually used as a way to further divide bisexuals, who are already subject to large amounts of lgbta discrimination. "pansexuality was started by trans people who were upset with transphobia within the bisexual community! it cant be transphobic OR biphobic!" except of course that it can and it is. to say that trans people cant be transphobic is absurd. transmedicalism is right there, but thats not what im getting at. all minorities can have internal and sometimes external biases against people who are the same minority as them.

pansexuality was started as a way to be trans inclusive at the expense of labelling bisexuality as transphobic when its not. transphobia is everywhere, and bisexuals are not exempt. instead of working on the transphobia within the community, the creators of pansexuality decided to remove themselves from it to create a better and less tainted word and community, and the fact that pansexuality is intended to replace bisexuality or leave it for the transphobes goes to show a few things. pansexuality and bisexuality are inherently linked because the pan label is in response to the bi label. due to its origins, it is inherently competing with bisexuality and it cant be "reclaimed" from its biphobic roots. pansexuality is not a whole, separate, and valid label. its a biphobic response to issues within the bisexual community.

to top off this post, heres something a full grown adult once said to me. in person. she was my roommate. "i feel like im pan because im attracted to trans people. trans women, trans men, i could definitely date them. but not nonbinary people because thats gross and weird." she saw pan as trans inclusive and defined herself that way as opposed to bi which is shitty!

also a little extra tidbit about my experiences identifying as pan. i saw myself as better than every bi person. all of them. even my trans and bi friends. whenever they brought up being bisexual i would think to myself "why dont you identify as pansexual? its better and shows people you support trans people." because i was made to believe bisexuality didnt and was therefore inferior. thats the mindset that emerged from my time in the pansexual community. i am so sorry to all of my bisexual friends even if they never noticed. i love you all and hope you have a great day. this also goes to any bisexuals or people who identify as bi in anyway, such as biromantic or simply bi. love you all.

ummm yeah heres some extra reading i found helpful and relevant. here and here. also noooo dont disagree with me and unfollow me im so sexy 🥴🥴🥴

[skamofcolor]

I know you probably don't do discourse, but even after all the backlash with the whitewashing of sana and erasing mahdi, skam italia now had the even counterpart say the n-word in one of the clips 😬😬😬

Oh boooooooooooy lol. 

My response became extremely long so I’m gonna put it under a Read More:

Okay, so I when I first heard this happened after the SkamIt clip dropped, I was thinking about doing a post on this here, but ultimately decided against it. I did post a bit about how ludicrous the situation was on my personal blog, though, lol. But since we’ve gotten an ask on it, and it’s been a few days so I’ve had time to collect my personal thoughts more, here’s a long post about the entire situation.

Context, for anyone who doesn’t know yet: In one of SkamIt’s latest clips (the og equivalent would be that scene in S3 where Isak and Even hang out, listen to rap, make food, smoke weed, etc. and then Isak discovers Even has a girlfriend) Italian!Even - Niccolò - says the n-word. 

I actually did watch this scene to get a full idea of it, so here’s how the framing of it happens: Martino (Italian!Isak) and Niccolò are talking about music. Niccolò is like, “one of my fave artists is Earl Sweatshirt, let’s put some of his music on.” So he gets up to do that, and then goes back to the couch. They’re both holding these weird puppets that Niccolò owns, and Niccolò is like, “let’s play fight with the puppets.” As the opening line of the song comes on, he says something like, “let’s go, my n*gga.”

So this caused a bit of a fandom blow-up. Where on one side, there’s folks who aren’t horrible are rightfully mad that this show had a white boy said the n-word. And then… there are stans who have been using every excuse under the sun to defend it, including: this is Italian culture, this word has a different meaning everywhere except for English speaking countries, Americans have no right to be mad because this isn’t for them, and it’s only a word, who cares. The showrunner also put out a… charming… defense to the whole thing, which although it’s since been deleted off of Instagram, a kind Tumblr user has translated. 

So this all being put out there, here are my personal thoughts on the matter: to be honest, I’m annoyed that Niccolò said it but that’s not my big issue. My big issue is that I hate the framing and consequent defense of it. Here’s what I mean by that:

1) Yes, white Europeans, the n-word, in all it’s forms, is a racial slur. No, it doesn’t fucking matter if it “means something different” in your country. And no - you can’t fucking say it.  

First of all, I’m gonna have to call bullshit on it “meaning something different.” 

A lot of the defense I’ve seen has been people claiming that it’s “U.S.-centric” to be mad that Niccolò said the n-word. And my response to that is… And So???? Lol?????

Look. The word comes from a U.S.-context. So you cannot have it both ways. You can’t talk about this word and claim in “means something different” in your country and then not want to talk about the ROOTS of it. If this word doesn’t come from your culture, then why are you so quick to defend it as part of your culture? 

Furthermore, Italy is not free of systemic antiblackness. When Italy (as well as every other country in the world) has a derogatory term for Black people, has a history of colonization in African nations, and has seen an increase of violence and murder of Black people in this year alone? Y’all can’t pretend like just because this word is in English that it’s meaningless in a country full of racism, xenophobia, and antiblackness. 

And if you’re trying to claim that Italian teenagers are using it willy nilly because they don’t know what it means… I just… I literally can’t believe that. I just can’t believe in this day and age that folks, even outside of the U.S., do not know what the word means or where it comes from. But what I do believe is that folks do know what it means, and yet don’t care. They appropriate it for themselves because everyone loves Black culture while simultaneously hating Black people. And that’s facts. 

In a globalized world where specifically Black American culture is commodified and distributed like candy, you’d have to be living under a rock to not understand the violence behind this word. And if you are living under a rock… you never would’ve heard it in the first place. 

(In case you are one of those living-under-a-rock people, there are a thousand and one articles on why it’s okay for Black people to say the n-word and why non-Black people shouldn’t. Here’s just one of those videos in case you didn’t know. The fact of the matter is, it’s not just a word. It’s violence. And regardless of if Black people wanna use it or not, that’s NOT up to anyone who’s not Black to decide.) 

2) We have to remember that this is a FICTIONAL television show. And that every single thing that the characters do/say was CREATED by an actual human.

Okay, but fine.

Let’s go with the defense that white teenagers all over Italy are using a racial slur casually cause no one knows the violent context behind the n-word and it’s all in good fun (Sounds fake, but okay). 

So Niccolò says it because that makes it realistic, and SkamIt is going for realism. Okay. Then the big issue of this isn’t that he said it; it’s the framing of it that it’s a-okay that he’s said it that’s my issue.

Because this all has to do with the SHOWRUNNERS, who are grown ass people, knowing the context and meaning of the n-word. Because as adults creating media for young people, I damn sure will be holding them responsible for what their characters say and do. And honestly? If non-Black teenagers in Italy are really running around saying the n-word with nary a care in the world, then it’s your duty as the adult to show why that’s wrong.

 Including someone doing/saying racist things isn’t inherently bad, because I agree. It is realistic. But never showing a resolution to it or calling it out within the framing of your show just lets your audience know that A) you don’t care about People of Color and/or B) you don’t think the oppression we face is a big deal. And both, when you’re making a show for young people, is dangerous. 

Because it perpetuates the idea that racism is okay or it’s not as bad, particularly when it’s done in a casual, “not intending to cause harm” kind of way. Racism isn’t always direct intentional malice; it can include anything that perpetuates the normalization of systemic oppression. Which was the big issue with how Julie portrayed Vilde’s racism all throughout og Skam but that’s another rant.  

It would be one thing if Niccolò said it and Martino recoiled a bit or was like “bro, wtf?” But he doesn’t do any of that. Niccolò says it and then the two play with their puppets. And that’s the thing - I personally feel, that as a showrunner, if you’re going to depict the normalization of racial slurs (which you inherently do, when you have someone casually saying the n-word) then it’s your DUTY to frame it as bad. Because it is bad. Regardless of how “realistic” it is, it’s still racist as fuck. Again, especially because of the rise in xenophobia, racism, and specifically antiblackness in Italy. 

But that brings us to Ludovico’s ridiculous statement, because it’s obvious that he doesn’t agree that using the n-word was at most racist as shit and at the very least, in bad taste. And his statement, altogether, shows a very basic lack of critical thinking and comprehension as to why what happened was not okay. 

3) Ludovico’s reasoning for having Niccolò say the n-word, quite frankly, is bullshit and the most cringey white person thing I have ever read in my life, ever. 

And I think by breaking down his… non-apology… this addresses a lot of the bullshit defenses that SkamIt’s stans have been throwing at folks, too. 

“What is happening? Niccolò listens to American rap. He listens to Earl Sweatshirt. A black rapper. People who are criticising me, do they even know who this artist is? How does he look like? Do they know his father was a  South African activist and politician? Do they know his lyrics and his thoughts? Do they know that in those lyrics he always talks about the black community’s condition? And when he does that, he uses that word, that word you’re all worrying about. Niccolò, who loves Earl, is singing one of his songs, like anyone would do with a song they like.

Oh, my God.

First of all, it’s… ironic for him to pull up Earl Sweatshirt’s lineage and his music in order to defend this white boy saying the n-word. Because not only was his father a Black South African activist who was raised during apartheid and then was exiled to the U.S., his mother is a Black law professor who specializes in critical race theory! This man… is really trying to say that someone who had these parents would celebrate a white boy… using a racial slur… let’s use some critical thinking… 

Second of all, and I can’t believe I have to say this, a Black person reclaiming the n-word and using it conversationally or in their music is not the same as a non-Black person using it. If you’re not part of a marginalized group, you do not have a say in the conversation over using slurs within that group. 

Earl deciding to use the n-word, particularly in order to talk about “the Black community’s condition,” has meaning. It has power, it’s reclaiming a tool of oppression. A white Italian - who a lot of people are claiming don’t know anything about the origins of the word and thus the plight of Black Americans - using it is, at best meaningless and at worse intentionally racist. Ludivico wrote Niccolò as a character who just loves Earl Sweatshirt so much. But he wrote him as a character that loves him just on the surface - just enough to think it’s okay to use this racial slur and to “understand” the message of violence against Black people but not enough to not use a derogatory word that is actual violence against his favorite artist. Sure. 

Third of all, to me, it really didn’t seem like Niccolò was singing along to anything. He literally just says the line and then stops talking as him and Martino do their puppet fight. But that might be another argument, one that… is quite pointless. Because it would have cost him (Ludivico writing him) nothing to not say that line. To skip the n-word, to play a different song, to do literally anything else in that context. But it was, apparently, so central to Italian culture and so important for Niccolò to use this word that it had to be included. Alright.  

Are we really trying to attack Skam Italia for something like this? Do you really think we’re racist or insensitive? After all we’re doing? After all the work we do every day so we can bring values and themes that - for now, in Italy - have always been touched in such a superficial way?

“After all we’re doing”

Ludivico, what exactly are you doing for Black people and other People of Color? 

Like… he really fixed his wretched fingers and typed this out as if he literally had not made the choice to A) cast a white Non-Muslim woman to play literally one of the most iconic Muslim WoC in media history B) erase one of the few Black characters because “he didn’t have a large role,” instead of, you know, CREATING a larger role, as is his right, as a SHOWRUNNER WITH CREATIVE POWER, and casting a host of white boys instead C) has probably whitewashed their version of the Balloon Squad as well. Because yah - I’ve seen enough GIFsets of the “Martino watching a video of Niccolò playing piano” to see that there’s a bunch of white boys in the background laughing and joking with him. And it’s true; you can’t tell someone’s ethnicity by how they look. But the evidence so far is pretty damning. 

This is all to say that this a show… that has consistently refused to work with People of Color across the board. Not only in hiring actors, but it’s obviously not hiring non-white crew members and refusing to engage with fans of color. His constant excuses about why PoC cannot be involved make zero sense. He acts as though these characters are sentient beings that he has no control over instead of fictionalized people, wherein he and the other showrunners have the power to cast whoever they want, make them say whatever they want, and make them do whatever they want. 

And it’s obvious that him and his stans are the ones who are interacting with this entire situation is a superficial way. People who are calling it out, from what I’ve seen, are saying hey, this isn’t cool. Maybe we should have a nuanced dialogue for why this white Italian shouldn’t be saying the n-word. While he and his stans are crying white tears and saying this is our culture! Shut up if you don’t understand it!

In Salvini’s Italy, do you think that the main problem is a boy who loves American rap and sings a song with a word that people don’t like? Amazing.

This sarcastic deflection, I think, is exactly part of the problem. No one is saying that this is the end all and be all of racism in Italy. But using a word that is inextricably linked to physical, emotional, and spiritual violence is a part of the problem. It’s not “just a word”; it’s dehumanization. And that dehumanization of white people using it against Black people is exactly what has lead to issues in “Salvini’s Italy.”

The lyrics from American rap songs are full of inappropriate words. Shouldn’t we use them? The characters can sing them, but should they stop before that word? 

That’s… no one is saying not to use Black music lmao. But literally exactly what people are asking for is to not have non-Black people saying the n-word. If you’re not Black DON’T SAY IT. Why is that so hard.

These attacks don’t hurt black people, because they are smart enough to be able to appreciate the fact that we’re giving space to a rapper who’s really good and pretty capable of talking about their condition. 

The absolute condescension of this, honestly, makes me think that he has never interacted with a Black person in his life. Ever. And I’m not even trying to be funny. 

Look. I’m not claiming to speak for all Black people, especially in a globalized world. Our diaspora is huge and complex due to our histories of enslavement, colonization, imperialism, and violence. I’m sure there are Black people who literally don’t care about white people singing/saying the n-word. I’m sure that the decontextualization of it makes a lot of folks think it’s no big deal. And that’s fine. But again - that’s an intracommunity issue.

To have this white Italian proclaim to speak for Black people - not only here but also in proclaiming to know what Earl Sweatshirt is and isn’t okay with - is another form of dehumanization. Because it’s a catch-22. If we’re “smart enough” to not be mad at this racial slur being used, then what does it mean for those of us who are mad? That we’re unintelligent? That we’re not focused enough on the “right issues”? Once again, the lack of critical thinking is astounding. As if folks can’t understand that this is a big deal along with other forms of violence that are being enacted. 

But having this white boy say the n-word has nothing to do with “giving space” to Earl Sweatshirt or his art. It honestly just feels like a self-insert fantasy. It feels like a moment wherein these white people, once again, feel like they have claim to Black culture and language without having to reap any of the repercussions of that culture. And now once they’ve been called out, they want to be defensive. They don’t actually care about our communities or struggle. Idk how many ways I can say it but a marginalized person speaking truth to power and reclaiming a word is not the same as an oppressor using our language. 

They hurt me. You don’t know how much.

Ahhhhhh, the icing on top of this shit cake. 

Because this is the real root if it, isn’t it? Ludivico doesn’t like that he’s been called out. He doesn’t like that people are angry and that they have something to say about his racism. He doesn’t know how to just take the L and admit that he’s done something that’s messed up and has hurt people. Because in his mind, this is a personal attack. 

This is… this is Vilde dropping out of the bus because everyone “hates her” after her obnoxiously racist and Islamophobic “Muslim gangster world” monologue. But the funny sad thing is, this is a grown man. This isn’t a fictionalized teenager who doesn’t know how to confront her own prejudice. This is the root of why I’m so annoyed; because once again, we have a white person centering their own feelings over the heart of the issue. 

I’m sure I have more to say, lmao, but I am getting tired. 

TLDR; IMO, Niccolò saying the n-word with no repercussions was bad and Ludivico’s obnoxious “explanation” only made it worse. 

- mod Jennifer

[moved-to-femmesun-blog]

all the lgbt asks :+)

fuck you.

What do you identify as and what are your pronouns?transmasc (technically genderfluid but i’m very much transmasc) + he/him and ae/aem/aer

How did you discover your sexuality, tell your story?idk. i just never rlly liked girls. didn’t really care much for dating at all but i was def more attracted to guys, and so i ID’d as mlm for most of middle school to high school. now i lean more towards bi - and ID as bi - but i still use mlm for myself.

Have you experienced being misgendered? What happened and how did you overcome it?hahah yeah. even when i was going by “Benjamin” back in high school i was constantly misgendered. i just dealt with it. was too much of a pushover to say anything so i just ignored it kdnsknaksnd

Who was the first person you told, how did they react?some guy i was friends with that who obviously liked me. he took it pretty well, told me to tell my friend if i really wanted.

Describe what it was like coming out, what did you feel?i was impulsive and so i just. did it. i don’t really remember much about it - it didn’t feel that significant to me because i was SO disconnected from gender and identity, and i also just don’t remember small details well.

If you’re out, how did your parents/guardians/friends react?parents just. took it well ig. made an effort to use the name i wanted, were supportive enough. mum’s done more research than my step dad has - he thinks he can say the q slur lol - and was there along side me for a lot of my transition progress, but overall they’ve both been okay. at least with the binary stuff. i’m not open to them about my sexuality or the indepth details of my identity, aka my new pronouns and name - so it kinda sucks - but overall it was pretty good. friends were okay about it, had a few name hiccups with them using “em” for me instead of emmett (which i was going as at the time) but *shrug*

What is one question you hate people asking about your sexuality?no one ever asks me shit KDNSKNDkdn and tbh i don’t think anything would bother me? unless the person is being an asshole about it, i’m really open to answering questions.

Describe the style of clothing that you most often wear.i don’t really know what Style i have but like, lately i’ve gone back to just wearings leggings, big jackets, and then tank tops/my croptop. i used to be rlly rlly anal about like, Presenting As Male, and tbh i was really uncomfortable during that time. being overweight, i just felt ugly and gross and clunky. and so i’m glad i’ve gone back to wearing more fem stuff bc like. it fits me better, i love and feel better, and i have more options.

Who are your favourite lgbt+ ships?uhhh for bnha i’d say my faves right now are: bakukami/bakukirikami, kamisero, todoiida, iiseroyama, and then minamomojirou.

What does makeup mean to you? Do you wear any?i’ve never been one to wear make up. the furthest i ever went was using BB cream and then nail polish, and i haven’t used BB cream in years. i own One bottle of nail polish now and it’s this clear stuff with gold glitter chunks in it.

Do you experience dysphoria? If so, how does that affect you?not... really? i USED to big time. but now i’ve just mellowed out since shifting towards nonbinary/genderfluid and stuff. back when i was Set on being “100% FTM” i was super dysphoric. i just hated hearing she/her pronouns, and that’s really the only time i get dysphoric now - and when people call me a girl, but y’know dknskndd - and so... most of the time i’m good. i’m on T (have been for 2 years, though i havent been taking it lately due to complications with my endo clinic - and i’m almost a year and a half past getting top surgery - which im happy w/ bc i had a huge chest, though i do sometimes miss my boobs - and so i’m pretty good!

What is the stupidest thing you’ve heard said about the lgbt+ community?there are SO many dumb things i’ve heard over the years of being on tumblr/online/at public high school, so i don’t know how to give this just ONE answer dknsandnknds

What’s your favourite thing about the lgbt+ community?the “i can’t read/drive/do math” jokes bc i’m gay

What’s your least favourite thing about the lgbt+ community?i could say a lot of things here but i do NOT wanna risk starting any shit so KDNSKNDSKND

Have you ever been to your cities pride event? Why or why not?i’ve been to pride as part of my school’s team for the parade once! i haven’t gone since just bc i don’t really have anyone in my city i’d like to go with

Who is your favourite lgbt+ Icon/Advocate/Celebrity?i’m REALLY disconnected from celebrities... i really can’t answer thiskNDksnd

Have you been in a relationship and how did you meet?a bunch! currently i have two boyfriends and i met both of them through bnha discord servers - specifically rp servers KDNSKDNSKNd

What is your favourite lgbt+ book?i can’t read! (i genuinely can’t remember the names of any gay books i’ve read so SOBS)

Have you ever faced discrimination? What happened?yup! i’ve been called slurs in public, had people obviously try and figure out my gender - fun fact: one time a guy very obvious leaned over at me as i passed by to try and look down my sweater to check my chest B) - uhhh misgendering on purpose. nothing physical yet thankfully, but y’know.

Your Favorite lgbt+ movie or show?i am LOVING carole and tuesday rn im ngl KDNSKND

Who are some of your favourite lgbt+ bloggers?all my mutuals ;)

Which lgbt+ slur do you want to reclaim?q slur, that’s all i can claim KDNSkdn  i’ll use it when i know the people around me are comfortable seeing/hearing it but otherwise i just keep it to “q slur”

Have you ever gone to a gay bar, or a drag show, how was it?nope. almost did once - this dude in my city wanted to take me, and at the time we were friends and i had a crush on him, and we would’ve had a uh. fling. if we’d gone - but never did end up going. shit happens KDNSKND

How do you self-identify your gender, and what does that mean to you?idk i’m just like. i’m a dude - i’m NOT a girl, 100% not a girl - but at the same time, i’m not a dude? i’m not agender but it’s like... i’m just SO disconnected from the idea of having a gender but i’m super comfortable ID’ing as a guy because i find comfort it in (and in being able to say things like Yeah I’m Transmac and Yeah I’m MLM) but really it’s just. a big blur. i shift between being a Dude and then being Kind Of A Dude and then Not Being Anything and then Being ???   so yeah kdsnkdn

Are you interested in having children? Why or why not?nope. trauma fucked me up and i don’t wanna ever risk putting a child through anything. i wouldn’t be able to handle parenting a child. if ANYTHING i’d adopt an older kid, early/late teens, but idk.

What identity advice would you give your younger self?you don’t have to MAKE sure every one knows you’re a Dude. you don’t HAVE to pass at male. you feel so much more uncomfortable when you confuse people about your gender, when you wear want you want and what you feel comfortable wearing. you’re gonna hate looking back on yourself in a couple years because you’ll realize just how caught up you got in toxic masculinity, but it gets better. you get more comfortable being You and doing what You Want, and you’ll find people who accept that more than your current friends ever could. it gets better. you get better.

What do you think of gender roles in relationships?*throws them out the window* 

Anything else you want to share about your experience with gender?toxic masculinity is a BITCH and i wishhhh that i’d had more understanding friends. there’s something just so sad and... weird... about the idea of FORCING yourself to have to “pass” at all times - when “passing” is a dumb enough concept itself - but idk. i learnt a lot from it, even if it sucked.

What is something you wish people know about being lgbt+?it really isn’t easy. every day you’re dealing with stuff, from yourself and from other people, so let us have our jokes. let us have our pride. let us be loud about who we are.

Why are proud to be lgbt+?cause it means i’m not cishet LOLif you read through all of this: why? why do that to yourselfkNDKSNd

[pissedofflesbian-blog]

In Response To “Queer” Discourse: Not Using a Slur To Refer To Ourselves Isn’t a Privilege

So tonight I read this post and I am completely shocked. I tried to reply on the post, but Tumblr fucked up, which is a blessing because I am able to write this post in a more clear and coherent manner. 

What this post will be is a breakdown of the issues I commonly see discourse about reclaiming the word “queer”, specifically amongst pro-”queer” people. I believe that these arguments often make a few very big mistakes, and I’m here to correct them.

I don’t expect anyone to read the whole thing, but if you’re going to reply to this, you better have read it. And while I am trying to write in the most “professional” manner, I’m just an angry girl at a computer late at night, so if I make any mistakes, just think about what I probably meant and go with that, because this bitch is tired. 

1) The most important thing to remember about people who refuse to reclaim the word “queer” is that there is a reason for this. 

First of all, it is still commonly used as a slur in MANY places. 

Second, the word originally has very negative definitions. Weird, strange, odd, spoiled, sick. This is why it was used as a slur in the first place. 

Third, countless people in our community (even the young ones) have directly experienced violence involving this word.

Let’s use my personal history with this word as an example. I accidentally came out when I was 11, and a family member verbally abused me for years using this word. When I got older and tried to defend myself, he physically attacked me. I have PTSD because of this, and being directly referred to a “queer” or being called “a queer” can and has triggered flashbacks of this event. 

I am just one of many with a story like this. 

2) They imply or state that cis lesbians and gay men have it easier than or are privileged over cis bisexuals.

This is 100% false. It completely ignores the complex issues that both gay and bisexual people face.

Bisexual people face a specific struggle for not only being attracted to the same gender, but being attracted to multiple genders. 

Gay people face a specific struggle for not only being attracted to the same gender, but being attracted to the same gender to the exclusion of others.

A quick way to demonstrate this is a look at how people often react to bi and gay people coming out. Bi people hear a lot of, “pick a side”, “you’re selfish”, “you’re confused”. Gay people hear, “but if you’ve never been with the opposite gender how do you know?”, “you’re being close-minded for only being with one gender”*, and things like that. We both get the standard, “oh that’s gross”, “oh you’re a sinner” bullshit. (*Yes gay people do get told that.). 

There are specific struggles for being bisexual and being gay, and instead of making shit up, we should be supporting each other for the issues the others face, and supporting each other for our shared experiences. 

2.5 A lot of people seem to think that being a gay man and being a lesbian are the same. 

They are not. Lesbians have a very specific struggle as being: a) women, b) attracted to women, and c) not attracted to men. Our position as women who are not interested in men means we face a different sort of violence and oppression as gay men. Yes, we have many shared experiences, but we are not the same. 

3) They assume that all people who are uncomfortable with the word are “privileged” cis gays and bisexuals, and that everyone who reclaims it is less privileged and has a more complicated identity.

It’s worth again noting that I am writing this in direct response to another post. Here are some quotes from OP and a commenter:

“Saying “I’m gay/lesbian/bi” is pretty simple. Just about everyone knows what you mean, and you quickly establish yourself as a member of a community. Saying “I’m a trans nonbinary bi woman who’s celibate due to dysphoria and possibly on the ace spectrum”… not so much. You’re lucky to find anyone who understands even half of that, and explaining it requires revealing a ton of personal information. The appeal of “queer” is being able to identify yourself without profiling yourself. It’s welcoming and functional terminology to those who do not have the luxury of simplified language and occupy complicated identities. *That’s* why people use it - there are currently not alternatives to express the same sentiment.”

and

“There’s another dimension that always, always gets overlooked in contemporary discussions about the word “queer:” class. The last paragraph here reminds me of a old quote: “rich lesbians are ‘sapphic,’ poor lesbians are ‘dykes’.” Bourgeois gays and lesbians already had “the luxury of language” to describe themselves - normalized through struggle, thanks to groups like the Gay Liberation Front. Everyone else, from poor gays and lesbians to bi and trans people and so on, had no such language. These people were the ones for whom social/economic assimilation was not an option.”

I do understand, and almost completely agree with OP. The commenter... not so much. 

First of all, almost everyone I have met in real life spaces who uses the word queer is a cis gay or bisexual person. I’m not saying that my experience is universal, I’m just making an observation. Similarly, I have met many people with more complicated identities (bi trans people, ace gay men, nonbinary people) who do not use the word. And, I’m an ace lesbian... people find that hard to understand. Doesn’t mean I want to use that word.

Second... Oh lord. The implication that if you are a gay or lesbian who does not use the q word, you are probably upper class. This is just wrong. I don’t know how to else to state it. Maybe it’s right somewhere, but I can guarantee it’s wrong for a majority of places in the world.

First of all, I am a lesbian who is by no means rich or bourgeois. I am a poor girl who has struggled her entire life and lived in very poor neighbourhoods. Off the top of my head, I can think of a bisexual women, a gay man, and a trans gay man I know from similar areas that do not use the word queer. 

Second, many of cis gay and bisexual people I’ve met who use the word queer are ones who went to private schools, are supported by their parents, and are otherwise upper to upper middle class. 

Then there’s the implication that rich communities are more educated or accepting of our identities... Many upper class families are incredibly religious. Many upper class families are insistent on “traditional families”. These families often cut off their children who come out, and this can force their children into... guess what... the poor classes where social assimilation is apparently so much harder (but where they often find acceptance, because many lower class families are accepting and loving and educated.) I just don’t think that kind of distinction should be made when we’re talking about this word.

4) We’re not taking anything away from you while asking for you to keep your language respectful. 

Time and time again, I see people acting as though those who do not use the q word are somehow oppressing them. 

Nobody is saying that you shouldn’t use it for yourself. Nobody is saying that you can’t use it in your groups. 

We are simply asking that you do not refer to us as “queer”. This means not directly calling us queer, and not referring to us as a part of the “queer community”. Is our comfort in our own spaces worth less than you saving a few syllables? Is our comfort worth less than a word?

And people who say queer is a slur? Say that because it is. It was, and it still is. Don’t go on a huge rant about how we’re calling your identity a slur, or we’re forcing you to feel oppressed by it, or whatever. The whole point of reclaiming a slur is that... it IS a slur. When you use that word to refer to yourselves, you cannot ignore the history associated with it. The fact that many ID with it in spite of and BECAUSE it is a slur. They’re making it there’s. That’s what reclamation is. That’s where the power comes from. Don’t go tell me that me saying it’s a slur is incorrect. That’s just ignorant. 

In summary: Stop making shit up and over-thinking the issue surrounding this word. Stop acting like people who don’t use the q slur are privileged. We don’t avoid it because of our class or our specific labels. We avoid it because it does NOT empower us like it does you. We avoid it because many of us have trauma associated with it. My PTSD isn’t a privileged, you idiots. 

Go learn how to think critically and stop making up bullshit discourse and bringing other issues into this discussion because you lack the respect to be sensitive when referring to others in this community.

[spirkism]

on why queer isn’t a bad word

I’ve read quite a few posts from either viewpoint and so far I’ve kept my mouth shut on how I feel about this because I didn’t want to polarize - but lately I’ve seen more and more of the “but it’s a slur!!!” arguments and couldn’t take it anymore. I went on a twitter rant but promised to make a more organized and put together post so here we go. (it got quite long, I apologize)

there are a lot of wonderful posts about this out there already but I decided to still mention the points made there because honestly the more people hear it the better. feel free to approach me and I’ll link you to some of those other posts!

as a little backstory: I’m from Germany - aka a non-English speaking country and that actually plays a part in it but more on that later. I’m in my mid-twenties and I’ve identified as queer for about 7ish years now. I used to be very well connected in the community, especially the trans community and had some older friends who were there in the beginnings of our (German) community. so I know the history.

okay so, I’m just gonna list some points now in no particular order:

1. yes. queer is used as a slur. so is gay. so are basically all the other identities we have. because some straight people are assholes and are afraid of everything that’s different. BUT. queer has been reclaimed AGES ago. our forebearers fought long and hard to take it BACK from the straight people who stole it to hurt us. freely handing it over to our opposers now would be nothing short of trampling on our community’s history and invalidating the sacrifices the generations before us have made. also. “queer history”, “queer cinema”, “queer studies” are all legitimate (academical) terms. academics don’t cuss in their descriptors (and college courses).

2. queer is so much more inclusive than lgbt(+) or any of those acronyms. sure you could go lgbtqiaapf... but honestly that’s getting a bit ridiculous and frankly confusing. so for the sake of this argument we’ll stick with the “original” acronym LGBT. it mentions all of four identities. FOUR. out of the multitudes there are. I personally happen to have one of my identities mentioned there. that’s not a lot. but still, it’s something. my aroace nonbinary friend doesn’t have any. “but there’s the plus!” you say. great. a plus. lovely. how would you feel being represented by a plus that doesn’t tell you anything about what it actually means? exactly. that’s not representation at all. who tf even knows what that plus means. no mention of nonbinary people, fluid people, pan people, ace people, aro people, and the list goes on and on.  that’s why it’s an amazing umbrella term. everyone can find a place in it.

3. it’s welcoming. this point is kind of tied to my second one but it’s important in its own right so I decided to give it its own number. it’s welcoming to questioning people. you know you’re different? not straight? but are you pan? are you bi? are you ace? or maybe aro? are you trans? are you non-binary? who the fuck even knows. it’s hard. I’ve been through multiple of these and it SUCKS. so having a community who goes “hey we don’t care how exactly you identify, we don’t mind if you haven’t figured it out you, you have a place here, you’re safe here and no one is gonna police your identity or gatekeep you” is super important. trust me.

4. it’s often easier. if I want to let somebody know I’m “not straight” without going into the details of my identity, queer is just a lot simpler and the other person will immediately understand what I mean. sometimes I just don’t wanna let somebody know all of my identities. sometimes I really don’t feel like educating people on all the terms I use. but I still want to let them know I’m part of the community. and honestly sometimes saying “hi so I’m a pansexual gray-aro gender-nonconforming trans guy” is too tiresome/long. “hi I’m queer” is concise and understandable to pretty much everyone. sure, if you’re a cis gay dude, lesbian or bisexual person you can just use one of those words - good for you (no really, it is good for you and I’m happy you have these terms). but who tf (that isn’t as deep in the community as I am and/or on tumblr) is gonna know what I mean when I talk about my identity? fucking no one. you can’t really use “I’m LGBT” as a descriptor for yourself. saying “I’m gay” doesn’t work either cause then a) I might feel weird cause I don’t actually identify as gay and b) there’s gonna be shouts of “but you’re not gay, you’re not allowed to use that word!” - well what am I gonna use then? exactly. QUEER. that’s where my nationality comes in as well. here no one knows what the fuck ace / aro, nb or even pan is. but they know what queer is. it’s like that in a lot of the non-english speaking world. get out of your US sometimes, folks.

5. this one is near and dear to me. queer is so much more than just an identifier telling people you’re not straight. it’s more than a label. more than a community. especially in the beginnings of our history it was most often used to denote that you’re different. you’re not the norm. and you don’t wanna be. you’re proud of being different. you’re celebrating being different and you’re not ashamed of it. it means you don’t want to assimilate, don’t want to emulate the “normal” lifestyle, don’t want to be that “well, he has a husband but you know, he’s not really gay, he’s just like us” guy. (nothing wrong with having a house with a picket fence and two children though, okay, I never said that! I actually want that myself) the celebration of difference has always been a strong suit in our community. and personally for many of us. this is where my other “oddities” and differences interwine with my queer identity. I suffer from anxiety. I’m kinky. I’m a witch, I’m questioning my religious beliefs, I don’t give a fuck about gender roles and I’m just a general oddball. and that’s how I LIKE IT. I’m good that way. heck, I’m fucking GREAT that way.

there are quite a few more arguments to be made for the word queer but these are the ones I feel are most important.

so yes, I’ve identified as queer for a long while and I will continue to do so. as well as use it as an umbrella term for our community. if you personally come up to me and ask me not to use the word queer for you specifically of course I’ll accept that - but don’t you dare tell me how I can and cannot identify myself and my community. as cis gays and lesbians you might not need the word queer. and that’s good for you. (no really, it is). but as someone who isn’t one of these things, for so many of us, queer is a word we desperately need (for the reasons listed above and more). so PLEASE don’t take it from us. a lot of work and love went into that word and it would be devastating to lose all that love and hope and sacrifice. we must not let this divide us. we must stay strong as a community, ALL of us, especially in the current times. 

so no, I have never nor will I ever tag my identity as a slur and I urge you not to either. if for personal reasons queer is a triggering word for you, there are countless ways to get around that (just like with any other trigger - use tumblr savior, xkit or any other of those options). but don’t ruin it for the rest of us.

this has obviously just been my very personal opinion - feel free to add on to this!  I welcome discussion about it - with people who agree with me but also people who disagree - the only thing I ask is to please stay civil and not to become personally attacking.  thank you. sorry for making such a long and personal post but I just had to after all this time.

so to end this with an all time classic: WE’RE HERE, WE’RE QUEER, DEAL WITH IT.