#baby's first charm sale

[littledashdraws]

dusk, dawn, and the space in between.

[anikaluv]

TRY ‘EM ON —

❤︎︎ pairing: Miles (e!42) × sanrio!fem!reader

❤︎︎ genre: fluff

❤︎︎ cw: too much cuteness, reader is a lil’ whiny (it’s only because Miles spoils her too much), suggestive, reader is also referred / described as a lil’ cutie <3

❤︎︎ summary: You were shopping in the mall and happen to step upon a matching hello kitty underwear set in your favorite lingerie store. You couldn’t resist, so you bought it, now the problem is how to get Miles to wear them.

❤︎︎ w/c: 1.9k

❤︎︎ a/n: Im a sanrio girl myself, and I think it would be cute imagining the reader always trying to pull Miles into her obsession and him just letting it happen cause he loves her <3

The mall bustled with activity around you, various of sights and sounds flooded your senses. The air hummed with excitement as shoppers weaved in and out of the shops. Sunlight streamed through the skylights above, casting a warm glow on the polished floors.

Yet you felt nothing but mournfulness.

Sipping on your boba tea, you felt full of apathy, usually the mall made you feel so happy, yet this time you lazily walked through the mall groggily, dismissing anything that usually allured you.

It felt different without your boyfriend with you, you thought. Usually, he would attentively nod along to your endless rants, entertain you with his charming humor, and willingly accompany you to all your favorite stores without a hint of complaint. His comforting arm wrapped around your waist the whole trip, you missed him.

You asked Miles to join you, but as usual, he claimed to have "important business”— meaning that it was non-negotiable. You were whiny about it at first, but Miles assured that he would make it up to you, just as he always does.

While heading down the escalator, you were contemplating if you should just end this trip early and head home.

Then you saw it.

"LOVER MATCHING SETS: 60% OFF!" Your grin spread across your face as you spotted that your favorite lingerie store was having a sale for lovers, and getting something for you and Miles would surely get you out of your funk.

Mind set on a new mission, you giddily stroud towards the apparel store eager to check out what they had.

As you walked in, a wave of fruity scents lingered through the air, along with mainstream pop music bursting from the speakers.

The friendly clerk behind the counter greeted you with a smile, to which you responded with a nod of acknowledgment.

Assortments of all kinds of bras and lingerie were laid out at all different stands, adorned with detailing of how much off the price was discounted. You slowly walked through the shop, gravitating towards different stands that caught your eye until you made it to the lover set area.

You inspected each of the brands, they were cute, but they just weren’t what you were looking for.

Your shoulders slumped as you let out a deep sigh, you started to believe it was no hope until you reached the end of the stand.

“[BRAND NAME] X HELLO KITTY: MATCHING COUPLE SET.” You instantly smirked, mischievous glowing in your eyes.

It was perfect.

It was a matching panty and boxer set, colored in baby pink and littered with the face of Hello Kitty all over it. You tried to imagine Miles in the boxers and it brought a giggle out of you.

Miles was well aware of your deep fascination with Sanrio, and he wholeheartedly embraced it, going above and beyond to indulge your love with plushies, clothing, and various other items.

However, there was a part of you that desired to test those boundaries, to explore just how far his support for your addiction would stretch.

You eagerly approached the checkout counter, clutching the set in your hands. With a sense of urgency, you swiftly swiped your card. The clerk packaged the item in a small bag, and you walked away from the store, receipt in hand, feeling excitement, clutching your newfound prize.

Your keys jingled as you retrieved them from your purse, the spare key Miles had given you months ago unlocking the Morales home.

Aware of Mrs. Morales' overtime schedule, you guessed that if Miles was finished with his "important business”, he would likely be the only one present.

"Baby, are you here?" Your voice echoed through the apartment, the silence that followed for a mere five seconds evoked a little worry in you that Miles hadn’t return.

Approaching Miles' door, you knocked loudly, causing it to open slowly, revealing Miles on the other side. "Hey, mi sol, sorry if I couldn't hear you; I had my headphones on," he explained, his hand gracefully finding its place around your waist as he tenderly kissed your forehead. In response, you leaned up on your tiptoes, meeting his lips with a loving kiss.

"It's okay, you're not doing anything, right? I have something I want to give you." You lifted the bag from the lingerie store, shaking it while holding it up for him to see, and Miles let out a chuckle. "Oh? Did my chiquita buy something for me?" he asked, his voice tinged with curiosity. He stepped aside, allowing you to enter his room.

Rolling your eyes playfully at his comment, you hurriedly walked into his room and settled onto his bed. Miles followed behind, moving slowly as he took a seat in his desk chair. "So, what did you get me, ma?" he asked, raising an eyebrow while eyeing the bag in your hands.

A genuine smile illuminated your face as you handed him the bag. "While I was at the mall, they had this sale for lover sets," you explained. Miles smirked, “Oh yeah?,” he asked, rubbing his hands together, probably expecting a seductive lingerie peice for you and perhaps some fancy boxers for himself.

His smile quickly faded.

You erupted with laughter as he revealed the pink boxers, the sheer absurdity of it pushing you to the brink of tears. He released a groan in an annoyed manner, tossing the bag onto the floor.

"Do you like it, baby?" you asked, your tone teasing. Unfortunately, he didn't hear your question, too occupied with having a stank face towards the underwear, which only made you laugh harder.

Miles scowled and let out a sigh, realizing that this whole situation was providing you with great amusement. "Baby, I love you, but I ain’t putting that shit on," he declared, his tone laced with distaste.

The laughter you once had stopped. You couldn't help but pout, gazing at him with your most prettiest eyes. "Come on, Miles, you promised to make it up to me for not coming, and this is how you can." You clasped your hands together, attempting to look like you were begging. He sucked in his teeth, watching you intently, well aware that he could never say no to you.

Miles lowered his head, silently cursing to himself, as he reluctantly accepted the situation at hand. "Fine, but only if you try ‘em on first, ma," he agreed, nodding towards the panties that were still nestled in the bag.

Blushing slightly, you slowly rubbed the back of your neck. "Fine," you replied, accepting the offer. With that, you sealed the deal and made your way to the nearby bathroom to change. Gliding into one of Miles' oversized shirts and slipping the panties, you took a moment to gather yourself.

"What's taking so long, hermosa?" he called out to you jokingly. You frowned at his comment, confused at how the tables turned so quickly. You yelled back to him, "Just a moment!" Emerging a few seconds later, you stepped out to reveal your changed appearance.

As soon as you walked out it was like Miles’ eyes were all over you. "Damn, angelita," he whispered, his voice dripping with seduction, causing a playful giggle to escape your lips. "Do a lil’ turn me f’me, baby," he requested. Raising the shirt slightly to reveal the panties you wore, you slowly turned, teasingly showcasing them from the back. As you observed his heavy breathing, a rush of warmth spread through your body, flushing your skin.

Unexpectedly, his hand reached up and firmly grasped your ass, eliciting a gasp of surprise from you. "You should wear stuff like this more often, mami," he chuckled, a glint of desire evident in his eyes. You swore his pupils dilated with intensity. "You look incredibly hot in this," he added, his words dripping with attraction.

You flashed a playful smirk and slyly winked at him. “We’ll see,” taunting evident in your voice. You forced your mind to focus back on the real show, "Alright, now it's your turn to try on yours," you teased, a mischievous grin on your lips. You observed how his jaw clenched; you knew it would all be worth it soon.

Miles took a while to put the underwear on; you were slightly worried he was trying to talk himself out of it. Eventually, you heard grunts and shuffling, so you knew he was changing, and eventually, he came out.

That shit looked hilarious.

You couldn't help but let out a snort the moment Miles walked out. Aware of his discomfort, you tried to stifle your laughter, but it was impossible. The mere sight before you was too much to handle. Your laughter grew uncontrollable, causing you to nearly tumble off the bed in fits of howling amusement. In response, Miles shot you a deadpan expression, retreating to his desk chair while you held on tight to your stomach, struggling to contain the laughter that churned in your stomach.

Wiping away tears of laughter, you composed yourself and sat up straight, posing the question half-seriously, "So, do you approve?" Your smile widened as you observed him arching an eyebrow, silently conveying his disbelief. He let out a deep sigh and responded, "They're aight, mami."

A sense of reassurance washed over you, causing you to clap your hands and let out a gleeful giggle. "Mission accomplished!", you cheered, brimming with happiness. It was in that moment that a grin spread across Miles' face. Despite his usual annoyance to your playful antics, he couldn't deny that witnessing that adorable smile on your face made it all worthwhile.

Miles swiveled in his desk chair, extending his arms invitingly towards you. “C’mere, pretty girl,” he called to you. You eagerly rose from your seat and straddled him, looking as cute as always. “Yes, baby?” you asked, head tilting like a puppy in confusion.

His words exited his mouth with fondness and loving. “Just wanted to get a closer look at my girl”, he confessed, his voice laced with calm, soothing reassurance. Gently, he placed his hands on your waist, and you instinctively leaned into his touch, encircling your arms around his neck.

As you began to excitedly rant about the other lover sets you saw while at the lingerie store, Miles listened intently, his fingertips tracing gentle circles on your hips. At one point, you turned your head and felt his gaze upon you, filling your heart with warmth and causing your cheeks to flush. Your words stumbled and you averted his gaze, unable to meet his affectionate eyes. A soft chuckle escaped Miles as he observed your flustered state.

"Thank you for going out and getting something for me, mi reina," he expressed, his voice filled with gratitude. You placed a light peck on his nose and snuggled into his neck, feeling the comforting embrace of his presence. "I think you look cute in ‘em," you admitted honestly. Miles shook his head playfully at your remark, nuzzling into you and humming a soft melody, creating a intimate atmosphere for the both of you.

.

.

.

“But for real though, these boxers are ass.”

“Miles don’t make me pop you.”

EXTRA: Miles was diligently working on his prowler claws in his base, engrossed in conversation with Uncle Aaron about future targets and jobs. As Miles rose to his feet, his pants slipped slightly, exposing the underwear he had on.

“Yo, Miles, what the hell is that?” Uncle Aaron burst into laughter, his eyes fixated on the sight of Miles wearing baby pink boxers.

Miles eyes widened in confusion, until he looked down and realized what Aaron meant.

"Just a lil’ something my girl got for me," Miles responded, his voice tinged with a hint of amusement and a knowing smile.

By the way, the boxers like looked this, lmaooo. Just wanted ya'll to get a lil' visual.

ENDING A/N: Hope ya’ll enjoyed this one <3 Was gonna add a grinding scene where you and Miles grinded against each other in the underwear while you were straddling him, but someone has already flagged me on here so I’m trynna keep it on the down low rn 😂

TAGLIST: @janaeby @bellstwd @nmgstuff @axeoverblade @zaddyskye69 @agstuffsworld

TAGS:

[austinsastrology8991]

> SUN IN THA HOUSE < and whY yoU Be like dat

Sun is our focal point, its our brightest star > you force others to look at you and look at themselves by your star quality <

Sun in the First - Everyone knows them, and they make it a fact that if you don't see them then your the one who is blind. They have a confident swagger, but arrogance to them that begs for the attention of all around them, and everyone is locked in on how or why they have such a powerful presence. Their smiles are contagious too. Also somehow always in the perfect place to say some funny ass shit and keep their style points that they been racking up over the years "You know. You all know exactly who I am. Say my name" - W.W 'breaking bad'

Sun in the Second - Did I stutter? Im talking about what I need not what I want. These guys are possessed by themselves and everyone loves it. So focused so self contained, they don't want nothing to do with you if you can't help them achieve their goals, and that attitude is sticky and everyone wanna be glued to em because they are destined for success. So they are constantly deciding who they want to share their gifts with, because they know they got it, what you got? "Money, money, money, money, money ain't the motive, What's your name again? Nobody knows it, Don't speak to me n***a, you not important, Im focused" - Tyler, the creator 'smuckers'

Sun in the Third - The whizz kid who didn't study, but stole the test papers and told everyone the wrong answers and kept all the right ones to himself. They are smart and they dont need you to tell them this they just want some more god damn answers. And thats what frustrates everyone, because they know so much already, why they still searching? Well thats how they got so smart dummy "That's why they put my lyrics up under this microscope Searching with a fine tooth comb, it's like this rope Waiting to choke, tightening around my throat Watching me while I write this, like, "I don't like this note" - Eminem 'white america'

Sun in the Fourth - The sentimental cry baby that everyone loves to cuddle. Emotional but people find it adorable. They are the rock you can cry on if you want a rock to cry on. Nah but if you need a safe place to cry, you can cry to them, they'll protect you from the harsh waves of others emotional projections, because they get it, even when everyone else refuses to. But don't use em because that'll force them to block you out, and this decision will cause a emotional rollercoaster for the both of you and they'll blame you for it even if it was their decision "And I am done changing words, Just so my songs sound prettier, I just don't care if it hurts, 'Cause it hurts me too" - Faye Webster 'hurts me too'

Sun in the Fifth - The walking confetti explosion, always turnt up and if you trynna lower the volume then they'll oblige ya just so when the volume inevitably goes up again, they'll make it a point that its always more fun with the party up then down. Charming chameleons that are cheesin about the colours they managed to pull off. Watch em dance, watch em sing, watch em do a funny, they can do it all and laugh while doing it, the vibe is them and they are so good at inviting people in on the little big party they got going on "Man I just wanna go flex, Gold on my teeth and on my neck, And I'm stone cold with the flex, With my squad and I'm smokin' up a check" - Post Malone 'go flex'

Sun in the Sixth - Typeracer.com - nah but seriously they always working on themselves and comparing themselves just to make sure their progress is more than what they expected and way more than what others expected of them. Because they here for a reason, and they will never let a opportunity slip, because if they do, they'll stay awake over it for years, and they done wasting their good years. Basically Peggy Olsen "And when your album sales wasn't doing too good, Who's the Doctor they told you to go see? Y'all better listen up closely, All you n***s that said that I turned pop, Or The Firm flopped. Y'all are the reason that Dre ain't been getting no sleep" - Dr Dre 'forgot about dre'

Sun in the Seventh - I gotchu what you need? true homies always putting others before them, and i know this gets a bad rap these days but if you ever get one of these friends. Do yourself a favour and stop telling them to stand up for themselves, because they still standing with the weight of everyone else on they shoulders. This way they show others the power of communication. And they still sticking it to everyone who tell em otherwise, so please tell me how they not standing up for themselves? They the loyalist, you got no idea how many people rely on em and thats their pride "Every step I take, every move I make (ohh, I'll miss you), Every single day, every time I pray, I'll be missing you (yeah, yeah, yeah), Thinkin' of the day, when you went away, What a life to take, what a bond to break, I'll be missing you" - Diddy 'missing you'

Sun in the Eighth - Who went to hell and back? Well they went to a version of it. And they are done hearing whatever you done, because what they did beats your hell tenfold. They don't even wanna put you in your place because they don't wanna hear your attempts to disapprove of them because they've overcome more than some bullshit shit talking. Just put some respect on their name thats all they want. And if not it's easy pickens because think they worse than you, and if you done worse, they don't mind going badder, so be careful, they'll do it. They careful about not being careful so be careful "No I don't worry, I tell you, I'm a man who believes that I died twenty years ago, And I live like a man who is dead already, I have no fear whatsoever of anybody or anything" - Skepta 'no security'

Sun in the Ninth - I WOKE UP IN NEW BUGgATTI is how they live their lives, except miss the bugatti but keep the caps lock on. They live by a set of moral philosophies to help them get by and to find excitement/ enjoyment outta life, because they refuse to be a follower, they've seen how sad everyone else is and they just trynna make sure it don't work out that way for them. Educated idiots; making up the rules as they learn the rules to live by their own rules. They lead their own life and it rubs off on everyone on how you should live your own life > teetering the edge of danger and fortune. Also someone who'll give it to you the realest despite being the biggest clown "Black kid get shot, white man get tazed, Media spread lies, politicians get paid, Doctors wanna drug you up so you can reach an early grave, Prisons wanna lock you up so they can fill up every cage Make fifty cents an hour, they gon' work you like a slave, Government gon' play dumb but they know everythin' " - Meechy Darko 'kill us all'

Sun in the Tenth - "Who speaking about me? oh. he ain't shit" - they acting better than everyone, and its fake until it isnt. No one knows when they made it because they always acted like they did. They dont brag they let the audience speak their volumes, hum their symphonies, play their drums, tickle their balls, and they just the orchestrator of it all. Because they doin the most, and they know everyone gonna talk about it so no need to even speak on it. Classy about it too. They on the top and they don't wanna leave so they acting humble but everyone know they really feelin themselves, but hey who wouldn't "I might be too strung out on compliments, Overdosed on confidence, Started not to give a fuck and stopped fearing the consequence, Drinkin' every night because we drink to my accomplishments" - Drake 'headlights'

Sun in the Eleventh - Trend setters who leave their shit stains on every social setting they enter. They got this influence about them thats hard not to notice, because they have at least three people fawning over em, and they not doing shit. Always trying to spread their influence, so if you want someone to back you its them, because their word is worth more due to their connections. And the easiest way to connect is technology and they all up in the software and getting a hard drive about it. They say some outta pocket shit, but thats where the influenza comes from I guess. They somehow everywhere and no where at the same damn time "It's ironic you talk jail time, But you ain't never seen no central booking (yeah) It's ironic you hang with a n***a that beat women And have the nerve to call yourself "Girl Pusher" Wow! You ain't real, I'm gonna show you how I really feel - JPEGMAFIA 'baby im bleeding'

Sun in the Twelfth - Lonely introspective dreamy creative types. Is what you could say if you wanna sum them up. But there is much more to them, but they are so afraid of letting anyone in because they are so sensitive. Their empathy and ability to look at things from different perspectives is what sets them apart, and they want to be set apart, because they feel alone, and don't wanna pretend they your friend if they ain't. They are extremely creative to a fault, and a lot of people would rather make fun of their works then celebrate how special it is. Until it is widely acknowledged how gifted they are, then everyone will switch up around them. But they will never forget who said what, because they above the whats; aint got time for someone who thought they were just a what "'Cause I'm out there, Tried to tell you that I'm out here on my own, I told you I was out there, Tried to tell you that I'm out here on my own,I fell down to Earth, From a hundred miles away and somehow I still make it work, But it's overrated and somehow played out" - Oliver Tree 'alien boy'

[insomniumstella]

spice & honey

bucky x baker!reader

summary: cinnamon buns and wickedly strong coffee must be the only reasons James Buchanan Barnes visits your bakery daily, despite the inconvenience of driving to a small town on the outskirts of Upstate New York. right?

warnings: first dates and crushes (absolutely classified as warnings), mead consumption, a curse word or two, soft!bucky

word count: 4,565

author's note: i've been watching Gilmore Girls a little too much lately (hence the little easter egg). on another note, autumn is my favourite season, so prepared to be sick of James attending harvest festivals and drinking apple cider 🍂🥧🎃

all the stories i've written

September 21st marks the official arrival of Autumn. Though the weather has been rather cheerful lately, today’s air is much crisper and heavier with the promise of looming rain. The streets of Eldermont remain far too green to your dismay, but Spice & Honey—the bakery you’ve owned for the past five years—is rich in shades of marigold and copper. A wide assortment of mugs, mostly in various shapes of pumpkins, and spiced teas, line the shelves, while the fresh jars of apple butter are neatly stacked alongside the register. Besides the usual treats, the glass display teems with seasonal favourite pumpkin tarts and apple cider donuts. 

The everlasting chatter of customers and soft sounds of a vintage record you scored at a neighbour’s garage sale just last month saturate the space as you place the second batch of cinnamon rolls on the counter. The clock reads 10:57 AM, and though you’ve been attempting to conceal your excitement, Vivienne could sense it the second you stepped through the door, teasing you about the very special visitor who’s always in need of sugary buns and black coffee at exactly five past eleven. 

James Buchanan Barnes is a regular customer, you often argue. The nervous babble, flustered movements, and beaming smiles convey otherwise. And so yes, you might have a little bit of a schoolgirl crush on the freakishly tall, muscular brunette who brings in the latest editions of The Culinary Canvas magazine each Monday and notices the smallest of changes in your recipes. Just maybe, you reluctantly ponder when your thoughts inadvertently wander to that charming grin and baby blue eyes every time you knead the dough for his adored treat — a dessert once reserved for Autumn suddenly available year around. 

“Staring at the entrance won’t make time pass quicker,” Vivienne whispers, arranging butterscotch cupcakes by the pumpkin tarts. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you whisper back, covering the pans with aluminum foil. 

Perhaps hiding the pastries, a favourite amongst Spice & Honey shoppers, is not the best business decision, but Eldermont is merely a small town in Upstate New York. If it wasn’t located a thirty minute drive south of the Avengers compound, most people wouldn’t be aware of its presence in the first place. And besides, everybody in Eldermont is connected to everybody — the town holds no secrets, including the pastries you keep warm and frost fresh. 

“The tall, dark, and handsome man,” she points out, “still has a few minutes. Perchance the preparations of Eldermont’s Annual Harvest Festival made it trickier to find parking.” Vivienne turns to you with a mirthful grin, the cupcakes resting perfectly positioned in the glass case. “You should invite him. Heard Brad brewed an incredible batch of apple cider mead this year.”

You sigh, snatching the golden tray out of her grasp. “I’m not asking Bucky out.” 

“Ah! Bucky!” The woman’s grin widens. “Forgot his name for a second.” Shades of mischief dance in her tone as she marks Elijah’s, the eccentric owner of Marigold Meadows flower shop across the street, special order of fifty maple bacon BLTs as completed. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“Only that you mention Bucky at least seven times a day.” 

“Seven’s oddly specific,” you note and swiftly, “also I do not,” disagree.

“Bucky smelled great today,” Vivienne mocks your voice, the grin you’ve come to love—and hate—remaining on her features. “Should I add apple to the cinnamon rolls? I wonder if Bucky would enjoy apple cinnamon rolls with brown butter and maple icing unless he’s a creature of habit. Maybe I should suggest a sprinkle of nutmeg in his coffee to test the waters first—“

“Vivienne,” you groan, yet she persists.

“What’s the worst that could happen? Bucky could say no. Bucky could also choose The Sugared Whisk. Bucky wouldn’t. I adore their croissants, but the coffee is terribly weak, and even their tea selection is mediocre. Indigo should include spiced teas. And sure, Luke's doesn't offer spiced teas, but Luke’s sells great coffee and danishes, except the danishes are only available on Wednesdays.” She recites a recent monologue of yours, and if you weren’t mortified, you’d actually be quite surprised at Vivienne’s ability to remember conversations as if they happened minutes ago. 

The doorbell chimes before she has the chance to finish, and you’re highly unsure of whether it’s a saved by the bell kind of situation or if you’d rather the floor magically swallow you whole. 

“Good morning.” James smiles, and it’s then that you decide you’d rather the floor split open because you’re awfully flustered by his entrance despite secretly anticipating the moment since the sun arose. 

“Hiya, Bucky,” she returns the favour, secretly nudging your side. “Have you ever been to the annual Eldermont’s Harvest Festival?” 

“Cannot say I have,” he chuckles, breaking eye contact between the two for just a second to glance at her. 

Though you’d never admit it aloud, those eyes, baby blue on sunny days and resembling the ocean on the ones of rain, cross your mind more than a pair of eyes should. This infatuation borders on obsessive, you often contemplate. James Buchanan Barnes is an Avenger for heaven’s sake, and you’re almost sure a man of his maturity and composure wouldn’t agree to a date with a baker, a clutz one at that. It’s not that you’d want to, nevertheless. The two of you have a great thing together — you serve coffee, he survives on coffee, and if time allows, the lighthearted conversations you have bring colours to otherwise monotone days. 

“The decorations, the food, the people are phenomenal.” You might have to assign the redhead to kneading duty if she’s heading to that territory. “This beauty right here could take you on a real good tour. Eldermont is gorgeous this time of year.” Enjoy kneading bread, Vivi. 

“Is it?” James grins, his stare flicking between you and Vivienne.

“Drop dead,” she reiterates, “much like the women.” 

“Vivienne,” you suddenly cut in, “the coffee station is out of paper cups. Could you bring some from the back?” 

She gives you another grin, less mischievous and more understanding, nodding at Bucky before she disappears into the kitchen. The heavy wooden doors create a boisterous sound once they close, and you couldn’t be happier for a distraction because you cannot look at the brunette just yet. The bakery is sweltering, and your hands are sweaty, and, if it wasn’t evident you’ve been nurturing a crush on James, Vivienne practically plastered a HEAD BAKER IN LOVE WITH SERGEANT BARNES sign out front. 

“The station’s out of cups?”

“Yes!” You glimpse behind the shoulder, deciding to keep the lie alive. “Spice & Honey gets busy during the afternoons, and we run out quickly.” The words leave your mouth rushed and a bit muttered, but the effort is there. “Black coffee and a cinnamon bun?”

“It’s a habit,” his smile is as charming as always. James hesitates for a beat, observing you locate the plastic to-go containers. “The festival Vivienne touched on, have you ever been?”

The atmosphere stills for an awkward second as you gawk at him. “Oh, sure,” you answer at last, praying her babbling wasn’t too obvious because you couldn’t fathom Bucky choosing The Sugared Whisk. “Every year since I was four. The festival’s great. Brad brews the best mead, and Johnny, the mayor, is comically strict about the decorations, so it’s all pumpkins, and string lights, and festive garlands,” you mumble, scrambling for the pan and cream cheese frosting. “I’ve even heard whispers of fireworks this year. It’s next Saturday if you want to drop by. Cassie bakes the best apple pies.” 

“Better than yours?”

“I don’t serve apple pies,” averting your eyes to study the grinder seems like the best decision to avoid his piercing gaze. 

“I’m sure they’d be the best if you did.” Bucky beams, leaning against the counter as he observes you make coffee. 

“Thank you,” the expression of gratitude melts into somewhat of a question despite your best attempts at keeping your voice level, “but the pies I bake often turn out horribly wrong. The apples were overcooked, and the dough raw last time I tried.” 

“How undercooked?” 

“The trash can enjoyed most of it.”

James laughs at that, the sound of it hearty and endearing. “I’m sure it found the pie delicious.” If he’s flirting with you, you can’t tell, and you don’t exactly want to, for expectations are the fool’s hope. “If you’re not terribly busy during the festival,” he speaks after a protracted moment of doubt, “I’d love to take you up on that tour Vivienne mentioned.”

“Tour?” The man in front of you must almost all but hear your heart pounding rapidly inside your chest.

“The tour of mead, pies, and decorations.” 

“Oh?” You tinker with a couple napkins, peering at him. “I’m not sure I could give you a real good tour, I’m barely a guide, believe me. I got lost in that new Target on Cedar Lane, and I cannot understand maps, and—“

“I’m asking you out on a date.” Bucky chuckles at your flustered visage, baby blues never once breaking the eye contact. 

“Shit,” the curse word leaves your mouth before you can stop it, and you silently reprimand yourself for the rash impulse of colourful words. “Alright.” 

The sergeant titters at your sudden reaction, a shy smile dancing on his lips. “We don’t have to do this if you’re uncomfortable. I just thought we might have something between us, chemistry of sorts, and that it might’ve been fun,” he briefly pauses, eyes wild and roaming around your face. “It’s just that Vivienne mentioned Eldermont being gorgeous in the fall, and it got me thinking that I’ve never truly experienced it, because the only thing I visit in this town is your bakery, not that it’s the only place worth visiting—“

“Bucky—“

“There are many stores I should probably check out, and Samuel’s birthday is in a couple of days, which is convenient. I wouldn’t describe Sam and I as the best of pals, but Steve likes him, so I should probably get him a gift.” 

“Who’s Samuel?” You ask puzzled, but the flustered soldier standing before you continues to ramble.

“Something small to indicate I remembered but not necessarily care. Something that screams I’m not a total jerk, but you are for reminding the whole compound that your birthday’s on the twenty third. A wooden statue of a bird. Sam likes birds, particularly Redwing, though Redwing’s not technically a bird. A wooden bird statue would certainly insult him, so it’s settled — the plan is to visit Artists & Wood on Land.” 

“The shop’s name is Woodland Artistry,” you correct with a gentle smile. 

“Right!” James clicks his tongue, studying your softly amused features. “We should probably forget this conversation happened. It was a stupid idea too—“

“Yes,” you interject. “I mean no.” Surely, this scenario is a strange dream that wicked mind of yours created to punish you for the sins you assumably committed in every single one of your previous lives. It’s the only possible explanation for the sergeant’s flustered behaviour. “I would absolutely love to go on a date,” you say and pinch the flesh of your thigh for reassurance, but the scene remains as it was, “with you.”

Gently placing a twenty on the counter, James gleams at you. “I’ve never actually given you my number, have I?” 

"No," you shake your head to indicate disagreement, pinching the flesh of your thighs once more. “Only the pleasure of our little chats,” the response makes you wince. The pleasure of our little chats? Something’s definitely wrong with me.

Chuckling, James grasps one of the pens you keep by the cash register and scribbles down a series of numbers on his receipt. "If I don't reply, Steve must be holding me hostage.”

"Duly noted," you grin, folding the piece of paper to tuck it into the back pocket of your denim shorts.

He stands there for a second as if absorbing the situation. “Good. It’s a date, then.” he smiles in the end, taking the coffee and the plastic box, and peeks at you behind his shoulder. “And keep the change, please. These treats of yours are more than worth it.”

A timid smile spreads across your lips at the compliment before you sink your teeth into the soft of your bottom lip, observing the soldier scramble out of the bakery, the phone in his flannel jacket ringing for attention.

“Next time,” the redhead appears beside you once James disappears out of sight with a final wave goodbye, “you should give the man coffee and buns on the house," Vivienne nudges you, "both of them." 

A surge of warmth rushes to your cheeks at her innuendo. “It’s great you suddenly possessed the ability to teleport and all, but the dough back there won’t knead itself.” 

“No,” she gasps, and you only laugh at her realisation, turning to help the next customer. 

It’s a date.

The evening of Eldermont’s harvest festival is pleasant, neither too blazing nor cold, but despite the temperature and the appropriate sundress you’ve chosen for it, you’re on the verge of fainting. I cannot faint on our first date, you think and decide it’s the man next to you’s fault, really. The smell of his cologne is too addicting, the hints of pine and cinnamon in his aftershave too intoxicating. James is a gentleman, which you expected and appreciate, but it’s overwhelming, the way he holds your hand to lead you through crowds and attentively listens to your overdrawn stories about the origins of pumpkin carving. Heavens help me.

“Have you checked out the corn maze yet?” Brad asks cheerfully. He’s surrounded by large beverage urns and stacks of disposable drinkware. “Mary mentioned Elijah’s still in there,” he chuckles, pouring two paper cups full of steaming apple cider mead. “The fool must’ve gotten lost or something.” 

“Must’ve,” you glance at him, the corner of your mouth quirking up into a half smile. “Happens every year.”

“The two of you should go,” Brad speaks once again before smiling at Bucky. “It’s a great first date activity.”

James chuckles, and you wonder if he regrets asking you on a date. The small town you call home is ludicrously close, and if Vivienne didn’t spill the beans to Mary as she promised, Mary must’ve spread the ‘rumours’ around herself. The town’s beloved bookshop owner is an incredible woman, but she loves to gossip, and you should’ve expected the second person after Vivienne to consistently insert themselves into your dating life to jump to conclusions. Though the situation isn’t precisely comfortable for you, it must be worse for James. Whilst he has never outright mentioned, the soldier has important reasons to stay under the radar. Bucky has witnessed a lot, horrors you’ve even heard about on the TV, and currently, every resident of Eldermont is aware that James Buchanan Barnes is on a date. With a local baker, nonetheless. Participating in acorn tossing and harvest bingo and conversing with Brad Monty about all kinds of sneaky activities couples get up to in the corn maze. You're certain that James is bound to vanish without a trace due to the town's antics if your diffident and often rather awkward behavior hasn't already scared him away. The anxious parts of your brain have even compiled a mental list of today's disasters: 

Johnny wiped his sweaty hands on Bucky’s jacket, realising the blunder only to mumble “I love this jacket, Sergeant Barnes”, and pretending he wanted to initiate a hug before he disappeared.

Cassie offered you a sample of pecan pie, which you eagerly tasted due to Bucky’s “If I had to choose the second best pie after apple, it would be pecan” comment, and completely choked on. 

Vivienne located you in the farmer’s market to say “hello”, and persuaded James to purchase a pair of beaded bracelets, the two of you had ridiculed moments earlier, for “every first date needs a souvenir to remember it by”. 

James guided you to Mary’s bookstore because you conferred a series of rare hardbacks Mary hides in the back for special customers, and the older woman steered you towards a selection of intimacy guides. 

Indigo, The Sugared Whisk owner, pleaded with James for Captain America’s number in the middle of a busy intersection and discussed his “timeless looks” for the next couple of minutes until a car almost struck the three of you. 

Elijah phoned you in distress, panicking about “having to live out his best years in a smelly corn maze”, which disturbed the sergeant and resulted in an “Elijah will find the exit eventually” monologue on your side. 

You accepted to take a photo of a tourist couple, accidentally dropping the wife’s phone and shattering the screen because James stood so close, your hands wouldn’t stop shaking. 

“Thanks, Brad,” you fumble with your wallet, hastily placing a ten on the stand. “See you around.”

“Doll,” Bucky doesn’t move once you attempt to remove him from the nightmare that is the situation the two of you found yourselves in. It gives you a second to evaluate his expression, and much to your surprise, his features are as soft as ever. James is blushing, too. “I wanted to pay for that.”

“You paid for the apple pie,” the words slip past your lips mumbled because the only thing you can truly concentrate on is the fact James is blushing. Blushing as a result of Brad’s stories about couples so in love they simply cannot be bothered to locate the labyrinth’s exit before proving their emotions to the world. Couples that could be the two of you. Possibly. A sane person shouldn’t rush to assumptions unless they earned the sweetest nickname from a dream of a man. You’ve never paid much thought to whether you would enjoy being called a ‘doll’—you do, but you would probably adore every label he’d choose. The notion steers your head toward unexpected and dirty waters, and you couldn’t be happier for Brad’s decision to chime in.

“Cassie outdid herself this year,” he nods. “I’m most definitely going to dream about that blackberry pie tonight.” 

“Yes,” James agrees never once breaking the eye contact with you. “The pies were delicious, and it was my pleasure to pay. It was me who demanded a tour.”

“You may pay for the maze then,” you smile at him, “but leave the ten — I’m not that great of a tour guide, and I’m afraid of the dark.”

“Dates should be fun,” James suddenly speaks. “We could’ve skipped the labyrinth.”

The corn maze is high and intimidating, but Bucky’s presence and the soft glow of an orange sunset manage to silence your fears a bit. The passages are almost entirely empty except for the two of you, and each corner you take makes your heart jump at the possibility of encountering spooky surprises. 

“This is fun,” you reassure, taking a sip of mead. James shoots you a look you cannot truly decipher, but you decide the meaning is somewhere between worried and teasing. “It is,” you hesitate for a beat. “I just keep remembering the haunted corn maze in Greenwood. They have scare actors there, who jump out of the bushes when you least expect it and completely startle you. Vivienne took me there last year, and I cannot shake the memories.” 

The expression on his face melts into sympathy. “If it’s any consolation, I would protect you against all the zombies and monsters this maze might throw at us,” he speaks before, “not that it has any,” adding. 

“If theme’s anything to go by, I think we’re OK,” you chuckle at his offer, referring to the cutesy signs and charmingly painted pumpkins scattered throughout the labyrinth, “unless Johnny decided to include a couple gory scenes at the end, though it’d end worse for him than it would for me.”

“Johnny The Mayor?” 

“Johnny The Mayor,” you take yet another sip, nodding. The beverage is barely warm twenty minutes into the attraction, providing only the comfort of a soft alcohol tipsiness. 

“He’s a charming little fella,” Bucky notes, and you don’t have it in yourself to deny the statement. “I’ve never experienced someone initiating a hug by wiping their hands on my jacket.” 

“Sorry,” you offer sheepishly because what could you say after an occurrence so bizarre. Everyone in this town is strange? James must’ve caught on to the fact by this time. 

“It’s alright, and besides, I now have a humorous story to recount at parties, which is a first,” he gleams at you. “It may come as a surprise, but I’m not usually the life of it.”

“Can I ask you a question?” You shift to gaze at him before emptying the cup of mead to steady your nerves. 

“I don’t promise to answer,” James grins, fiddling with the beaded bracelet, “but yes.” 

“Who’s Samuel?” 

“That’s your question?” He laughs as his flesh arm slithers to rest upon your waist. At least you think it’s his flesh arm. The man wears gloves whether the sun shines or the rain pours. You’ve seen pictures, though, and read stories of The Winter Soldier in possession of a metal arm. Neither raise concern, not for the reason you’re smitten with Bucky. Rather, because James was manipulated and stripped of free will, and if heaven would descend, perhaps because that metal arm is sinfully attractive. It’s a thought forbidden to be mentioned aloud, for the gloves are a large indicator he’d enjoy staying silent about the matter. “Who’s Samuel?” 

“Yes,” you sputter. The butterflies his simple action caused you don’t mention. “I want to hear about this Samuel. I’ve been informed he likes birds, especially Redwing, who’s not technically a bird?”

“The Samuel I was babbling about is Sam Wilson. The Falcon, if you’re a fan of CNN,” James teases, steering you into the left pathway of the maze. Despite your instinct to choose right, you stay silent. “Redwing’s a drone of sorts Sam uses on missions, and, this is a direct quote, for surveillance. I despise the thing.”

“If we get lost, forget the second date,” you playfully threaten. Though the coziness of his body pressed to yours is intoxicating, it does nothing to ease the goosebumps painted on your skin, and as the sky bleeds in shades of crimson and purple, the sun melts into the horizon, teasing you for forgetting a sweater. “I would’ve categorised holding a grudge against an object as below you.” 

“If the shoe fits,” he chortles, leading you down a long passage before abruptly stopping. Hesitating for a beat, he drapes the flannel jacket you’ve come to love on the man around your body. The garment is red and weighty, and it smells of James. The gesture makes your heart swell with admiration, but you ignore it. Dates should be approached with a blank slate because expectations are easily shattered. “I shouldn’t deliver Steve that woman’s phone number, should I?” Bucky’s arm finds your waist again. 

Sinking your teeth into your bottom lip, “on the bright side, Indigo is quite a pleasant woman,” you verbalise the thought. James observes your expression, baby blues studying the same features he cannot resist thinking about at nightfall. Blood rushes to his cheeks at the notice of your fingers on his lower back, the heat of your skin piercing through his charcoal henley. “She’d certainly treat Captain America right. On the downside,” you pause, “Indigo is the exact opposite of Steve as the media portrays him. Come to think about it, both of us are.”

“How so?”

“The media portrays supersoldiers as courageous, but Indigo and I once had to call Luke to get rid of a teeny spider. Steve’s active in politics, whilst we often skip the town’s meetings—“

“Eldermont holds town meetings?” James chuckles, subconsciously drawing you in closer.

“Once a month, always on the first Tuesday,” you gleam at him before drawing in a deep breath to calm your violently beating heart. “Last time, we discussed the very pressing issue of Halloween decorations. Johnny insists every business on the main street must participate in the festivities. Indigo and I escaped out the back before the mayor could finish his speech. At the least, Steve would’ve stayed in that meeting, and at the most, he would’ve managed it.”  

“People do say opposites attract.” 

“Heard that before,” you agree. The loose strand of Bucky’s auburn hair tempts you to tuck it behind his ear, but you halt the impulse of committing such a ludicrous decision. “It must be true because you drink coffee black, and I prefer lattes. You have cinnamon buns for breakfast, and I, if time would be gracious enough for breakfast, would choose danishes.” 

“The jury’s decided, then.” The corners of his mouth quirk up into a lazy and wickedly attractive smile, and, you almost wonder if Bucky’s aware of the effect he has on your body because if he isn't, your buckling knees must’ve given it away. “Opposites do attract.” His wildly confident attitude is a new discovery, but you decide you like it. “It would be a shame to ignore matters of the universe.” Confidence is a good shade on him. 

“Is this your way of asking me on a second date?” You tease the man, memorising the pink hues veiling his cheekbones. 

James guides you around the corner, observing the corn maze’s exit, and halts his movements. “Only if the lady agrees,” he shifts to stand before you, catching your forearms in his gloved hands, “which I’m sincerely hoping she does.” 

Resting your arms on his shoulders, you gift yourself a quick moment to explore his features — the stubble gently lining his sharp jaw, the little scar above his eyebrow, and the red lips you, despite hiding it, wanted to kiss since he first visited Spice & Honey. “The lady would love to go on a second date.” 

“Good,” an emotion you cannot comprehend waltzes in his eyes, but, for the sake of your composure, you abstain from thinking it could possibly be lust. “The gentleman is looking forward to it.” There's an argument happening inside him, you can sense it by the way he keeps drawing you closer until the space between your bodies is virtually erased, but retains his posture straight and almost rigid. The weight of should he or should he not lingers in the air around you before James catches your stare and smiles timidly, shattering the flicker of hope you have for him to kiss you. You don’t exactly yearn for him to kiss you. In theory, kiss-less first dates are a great idea, paving the way for deeper conversations and a closer bond. They build anticipation. Anticipation is good, you ponder for a second, but all you can truly focus on is whether James would taste like apple cider mead or the sugary desserts you two savoured earlier. “The night is still young," he speaks, the tone of his voice light and reticent. "It would be a shame to end the date this early." 

“Luke’s open if you want to grab a quick dinner,” you say with a grin, stepping away from him. “Though we should probably exit the maze first.” 

“Yes,” Bucky laughs and extends his arm towards the light at the end of the passage. “Lead the way, pretty lady.” 

[chrollohearttags]

no because why was I listening to futures song called rich sex and thought maybe I could request you to make a sex scene for the influencer wife x rapper Eren cause it just…goes so well with the song , cause like…imagine Eren was on tour right? And y/n is with him too , don’t you think it’ll be a GOOD ASS SMUT if they fuck WHILEEEE on tour? And then Eren is dressed up all in his expensive jewelry such as y/n and then he decides to fuck y/n for a lil adrenaline rush to hype him up before he gets on stage. So don’t you think that would be A GOOD ASS SMUT cause I think so too.

Oh. My. Goddddd!! This is perfect likeee, your mind. I’m biting my fist so hard thinking about this. 😩 say less, I got you bby!

(btw, I hope y’all ain’t sick of this storyline yet cause it’s fr my fucking fave and the only thing I’ll be talking about for the next week!)

“Baby, let's go have rich sex”

themes: riding, 69, choking, mentions of drinking and smoking, exhibitionism (if you squint), mirror sex, collapsed back shots, they just be fucking nasty fr so anything goes

── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.─── ── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.──

another day, another dollar as the saying goes but it was another night, another city down in the instance of the international recording artist…going from state to state, pouring his heart out on the stage in the form of his wonderful music. Although it had been some time, he still had it like he never left and the proof was in the form of not only his massive ticket sales but all of the tweets and tagged pictures, praising the rapper for his performance and love of his fans.

now, he was on his tour bus..headed to the next location on the docket of his North American leg. Surrounded by his crew, band and of course, the love of his life, (y/n) (l/n); having not too long ago celebrated the joyous occasion with those he cherished most as they all raised champagne glasses for a toast to Eren.

now the musician could be found in the luxurious master bedroom of the bus..lying atop the California King, shrouded in blue silk Versace bed linen, which was discreetly embroidered with the designer logo and his initials on the other side. A black robe from the same maker swaddling his freshly showered body..

mindless background noise could be heard playing from a fifty inch flatscreen mounted on the wall. Currently, he was blowing clouds of smoke into the air from the spliff placed between his lips..using it to ironically come down from the high of the evening. It was always his ritual of sorts to decompress after being on stage. A time of quiet reflection except now…

“You mind if I join you?..”

he had much to look forward to afterwards. That sweet, sexy voice he’d never grow tired of hearing, perking him straight up from his position. He’d be greeted by the pleasant surprise of his beloved bride-to-be, taking off your robe and standing at the foot of the bed in all white lace lingerie..contrasting that almost ethereal umber complexion. Like the smoothest Godiva and his biggest weakness, among other things..

those pretty ass titties sitting up perfectly in that bralette and cascading down your back were the forty inches of Brazilian bundles; black with honey blonde highlights at the very front. Those baby hairs styled and laid to perfection.

you truly were a goddess in the flesh.

“..and I was just wondering where your pretty ass was..c’mere, baby.”

the sentence followed by a wave of his finger, signaling you to climb on top of him. And with that deep, drowsy..sexy voice, you wouldn’t waste another second doing so. Immediately gliding a hand up his chiseled, tattooed chest and targeting his neck with gentle kisses;

flicking around his ear and hitting those giant studs in them. Your soft lips slightly brushing the diamonds of the customized ‘EJ’ chain, courtesy of famed jeweler Johnny Dang. A piece he acquired after the success of his very first album..a good luck charm of sorts, worth over ten bands..

but the collection didn’t stop there. A Patek scattered with VVS’ that could pay someone’s car note, grazed your bare ass as he gripped it with both hands amidst your make-out session.

(Y/N) slowly grounded on his lap to drum up the impending hard on that quickly formed at the sight of you. How could it not when his baby was adorned in matching pieces that glowed like fluorescents under the ceiling’s lavender lighting? The Cuban Link encrusted with pink diamonds and your name plate, a Rollie with the same color scheme and a glistening choker and anklet with his name on it.

all reminders of his rampant success and the fact that you were all his..taking pride in the fact that he could afford to not only splurge on himself but ice his girl out as well. One look around that bus and anyone could see how much he loved the lavish life..even if he didn’t flaunt it for the world to see.

“Y’know, I’m so proud of you, baby..I swear I’ll never get tired of hearing you perform.” the muffled words uttered in a sultry tone and one that made him feel better than any comment could. You really were his number one supporter and now, you wanted to give him a reward that no one else had to offer. Staring at his beloved with those gleaming green eyes that you loved so much, he’d crack a faint smile. “Yeah? I did a good job, huh mama?” that nickname always sending chills and tingles to unseen places…

honestly, being the perfectionist he was, he’d had doubts. There was no way he’d be able top his last performance or draw out another crowd like that. But you were going to remind him every time that he still was every bit of the star they said he was. And that was all the validation he needed.

you’d continue touching and licking all over him, trying to render that pretty physique of his completely nude. “…mmmm, yes and you looked sooo fucking good on that stage tonight..couldn’t wait to come fuck on you..”

admitting bluntly with your face nuzzled into the crook of his neck, suckling on his skin and surely leaving a hickey or two. Meanwhile, you’d rub the thin seat of those panties against his erection, that was growing larger. The tiny wet spot forming as a result of the friction…which made him claw at the sheets. There was no way he’d ever survive this tour without you here! Months on the road without his girl?

FaceTime would’ve never sufficed but truthfully, you were turned on the second you saw him up on that stage..so confidently spitting his lyrics, commanding the crowd and talking his shit. What really done you in was the final song when he became shirtless;

black cargos hugging his waist and faintly exposing the waistband of his boxers..chains shining and sweat glistening from his ripped muscles as he was performing one of his more risqué joints. Looking direct at you when he rapped about fucking like he wanted to give you his child. Of course, his horny fangirls would probably disagree and say the message was meant for them..hence why they all began grabbing at his crotch.

“Yeah? ‘Cause I been needing some of that pussy too..”

..but rest assured, you were the only thing on his mind. That much confirmed by the way he was sucking his teeth and moaning. Pawing at your g-string to peel it back and expose your dripping center. Once that cool air hit your warmth, his cock was next; allowing you to tease yourself against his shaft as he opened up that bathrobe. So helplessly grinding and whimpering with his tip grazing your clit..leaning up momentarily only to align with your entrance..gliding down on it until you both heard the slight pop of it being inside. Almost immediately, Eren tossed his head back and moaned at the sensation of your tight grip.

“Oh fuck..” meanwhile, you were getting into position; planting both feet on the bed and a hand across his chest. Something about staring down to see him with that chain on as you bounced on that dick just made you wetter. And he knew you loved fucking him with that jewelry on so he wouldn’t dare remove it..neither of you could sit idle though so once you gathered your bearings, (y/n) began moving, slowly propelling yourself up and down on it just to get a feel.

the visible tightness of your insides gripping him with each one..it was because of that, this man would buy you the whole world if you asked. That pussy was worth billions as far as he was concerned! So once you started to add a little rhythm and speed to your riding, he’d glare up at you in amazement. Smacking noises erupting as you had already slathered him down in your slick from that previous teasing.. “..yeah, just like that, baby…’fucking me so good.”

it’d be a miracle if you didn’t wake the rest of the passengers on board with his loud moaning but you weren’t too far behind as that tip reached your spot. It never took much from this angle. “Just lay back, daddy..and let me do the work. You deserve it…” nothing made him feel better. Having this bad bitch fuck his brains out..a little buzzed from the alcohol and weed he consumer earlier, it was bliss.

“Mmm..thank you, baby. Oh my God..you feel so good right now..”

but you were struggling a bit, trying to gain your pace because no matter how many times the two of you made love, his massive size was still your weakness. But you took that shit every time like you owned it! Eventually, (y/n) was full blown fucking him..balancing perfectly on those tip toes and bouncing.

even deciding to throw a few tricks into the mix with that big voluptuous ass, twerking and dancing on that dick whilst you grabbed at his chain as a leash of sorts. That’s when you felt him pulsate inside of you and felt the sudden clutch of his heavy hand on your backside, followed by encouraging slaps to your cheeks. “yeah..let me know how good that pussy feels..how much you love when I ride this dick..” without a doubt, he was your bitch at the moment! Eyes stretched wide and mouth agape with loud moans as you clamped around that shaft once again.

a sheet of slimy, sticky arousal being the only barrier between your clashing flesh. It made no goddamn sense how messy you got.

“I fucking love that shit, mama…about to make me come in that pussy..she so wet f’r me too…fuuuck!” sounding so hot and helpless with those high pitched cries. You loved when he became submissive like this.

he was exhausted after moving around on stage for two hours and not too long ago, he was drained but right now, it was taking everything in him not to fuck up into you..but he knew you could handle it and soon, it would pay off. Continuing to ride until you felt your legs begin to weaken, you’d eventually lie flat against his torso and slam that round ass entirely on him; burying that cock until it hit your core. From there, you two met in a sloppy, passionate kiss..exchanging strings of saliva and sexy whimpers.

your mouth eventually meeting his ear, only to fill it with sweet cries. “I’m ‘bout to come, daddy! Fuck..I c-ca—“ your sentence coming to an abrupt halt as you felt a ping in your tummy and suddenly, couldn’t go another second. Your wobbly legs shot straight up as you reached your climax first. Which he wasn’t too mad at, considering the fact that he always wanted you to get that nut first and also, you were flooding him and his sheets with squirt.

not to mention, it gave him just the opening he needed to take control for this next position. “Nah, don’t run. Sit on this fucking face.” With a grin on his features, Eren reached over and clutched behind your thighs, bringing you down to his face to let some remnants fall into his open mouth. He loved your taste..drinking it in like it was the finest FiJi. His freakiness knew no bounds and you loved it.

“Mmmm, baby! Fuck!” (y/n) crying out as he slurped your juices and that swollen clit. You’d look back to see his manhood still standing at attention and twitching on its lonesome as he tongue fucked your pussy. But you didn’t have to miss out on the fun either as he instructed you to flip around so that you were locked into a sixty nine position. He hadn’t come yet so he wanted make sure to fill your pretty little throat with all that nut instead..

he was already enjoying his feast, flicking his tongue between your folds and even your asscrack when you managed to get acclimated with you began suctioning those plump lips around his shaft. Sucking him off and tasting yourself in the process..soon, your bodies were like a well oiled machine; working in tandem to give each other oral pleasure..the only thing heard from either end were soft whimpers and loud slurping.

putting his dick seven inches down your throat until you coaxed out spit bubbles to further lube him up with before jerking him off for a minute. The cold steel of your chain gently brushing past his balls which caused him to thrust up into your throat. He had a knack of not playing fair when it came to you sucking his dick. He always wanted to test your limits and see how far that cock could fit, even sometimes touching your uvula when he done so. He couldn’t help himself when you were so skilled at giving head..even jokingly saving you in his phone as throat goat.

the way you didn’t care how messy it got, if you fucked up your makeup or even choked, you’d eventually end up swallowing his nut in some form or fashion. And right now, you were well on your way to doing so. Softly massaging his sack, you’d continue working his member, pumping it to inevitably make him climax. But the more you suckled at his tip, the further he shoved his tongue into your entrance and made you yelp. He’d be getting a second orgasm out of you if he wasn’t careful.

and he wasn’t letting up until that happen. However, he wasn’t too far behind and in one swift move, (y/n) spat those strings of precum and saliva back down on to his length and cleaned it all up with one big suction motion that nearly took him off the bed.

“F-fuck!” drumming those cries out of his mouth as you did the same to his cock..milking that warm, white fluid from his balls to the back of your throat. Almost like clockwork, you too released yet again, all over his tongue. He’d lap it all up with no hesitation also..

“You’re so fucking nasty…God, I love you..”

Eren choked out from the back of his throat, head tossed against the silk lined pillow case. You’d look down to see his toes curling and legs trembling..a job well done if you could say so yourself. But the two of you weren’t finished by a long shot. He needed to be inside of you..and this time, he wanted you both to watch! Finally coming to, he’d smack your ass a couple times to get your attention and move you once more.

placing you at the edge of the bed, he’d command you on all fours and to face the giant mirror in front of it. Your nude, sweat slicked bodies on full display in the reflection…it was something so sexy about it. Planted firmly in the mattress on your hands and knees, you’d stare straight ahead, winding those hips in a fluid motion and slowly making that round ass jiggle. The curve could be seen as you folded your arms and pressed your perky titties further into the mattress; making that back arch as far as it could go.

it was that type of thickness men made full songs about. That had the whole industry hating on this man for no reason..other than the fact he was the one lucky enough to beat your back in every night. But you doubted there was anyone else who could ever put that dick on you the way he did! And he was about to prove why.

“Look back at me when you do that shit, mama..” twisting your head around, you’d give him a doe eyes expression with those big brown orbs, subtly tossing it against his pelvis as he bucked up against your ass; smacking on it for encouragement. “..so goddamn fine, I swear..”

flicking your tongue over your lips, you’d continue throwing it on him until you felt him clutch your waist, resting that wristwatch on the cute dimples in the small of your back. Around your hips hung a bejeweled belly chain, and he was about to use it to his advantage. Now, he had tugged your face forward again, making you watch as prepared to give you that pipe for the second time..it was his turn to be in control so you knew he was about to go crazy…

gently tapping that head against your sticky center, he’d make you draw a few light huffs, mainly out of frustration. That little hole was spasming on air and asking to be filled so you couldn’t take anymore of the teasing. “Mmphmm…quit playinggg. Give me that dick.” It was so adorable how antsy you got that quickly. Because you looked so precious when begging, he wouldn’t hold out any longer.

“Alright, alright…I won’t. You know what to do, open that shit up then.”

immediately, you’d place your palms to your round cheeks and spread them apart. Your diamond tennis bracelet and long acrylics laying on your smooth skin..like a work of art. Suddenly, you’d see a long trail of saliva trickle from his lips onto his cock head, where he’d massage it in before stuffing it back in your needy cunt. Damn near sucked in by those folds. You obviously needed him pretty bad..

so he’d never keep his princess waiting. His manicured fingers clutched that little accessory to keep you reigned in as he began feeding you deep strokes to the center of your core. Not exactly rough yet but damn sure not slow..enough to have you creaming with only a couple in. Meanwhile, you could see him fixated on the motion of your ass, moving with each one. Back shots with you always went fucking dumb..the sound, the collision of skin..it was perfect.

“Feels good, huh baby?” Taunting in a soft moan as you’d look up and see him chewing at his lip, trying to concentrate on his rhythm. You didn’t have to worry about him because he’d be handling it soon enough. Chuckling, he’d just smack your bottom again and speed up. “You just bouncing that shit on me…don’t stop, baby.”

and you’d gladly obey, letting him tug you back as he impaled you on his shaft..fitting it past the hilt, shoving it in and then all the way back out. Soon, he was rocking you back and forth with complete dominion over your body. You’d fuck him back, meeting those thrusts for as long as you could until you found yourself trembling and he took control again. No need to stress though because he was more than capable of fucking you just fine on his own.

“..tapping out on me already, princess? I’m not even close yet.” Now it was his turn to tease you and with one hand still on your ass; thumb pressed into your puckering asshole, the other reaching for that long hair; not giving a fuck if he messed it up because he’d pay to get it redone, he’d pound your little pussy like he was trying to make good on his promise during the concert. That platinum chain slamming his chest and the few untamed brunette locks scattering around that handsome face, he’d tap into another speed and keep going for you.

the glistening diamonds of all your collective jewelry practically glowing underneath the now dimmer fluorescent lighting…such a pleasing aesthetic and fuel to keep going. At this point, he had you clawing at the bed sheets, trying to keep your head up but drool was seeping from between those pretty lips and your eyes were rolling to the back of your head..he was beating your shit up so bad, you could feel it touching the inner corner of your cervix. It was unfathomable how big that shit was and how well he wielded it. That’s why you’d gladly display his name on you.

“Hhngh! Daddy, fuck! Yes—oh my gosh! I can feel it…’s so deep..” Tears beginning to swell and fall from your eyes at this point because you couldn’t take it. His palm slowly circulated your throat, applying slight pressure to asphyxiate your breathing and give you even more stimulation. Undeniably, he was the best dick you had ever had and to think, you’d be getting it in every city and for the rest of your life. But that was perfect because he’d train that pretty little cunt to only conform to his shape. So much so, you’d never want to leave…

“I know, baby…but you taking that dick so good for me. I don’t wanna stop.” And that much was apparent when he slowed only for a second because you were frozen before clamping down and releasing a stream of squirting juices. It happened so fast, that you couldn’t even time your orgasm.. “ahhh, shittt! Mmmphm!” full blown fucked to tears as you rubbed it out onto his jumping member, which made him so proud; even slapping it against your slit to drum more out. Until you finished and collapsed on your stomach.

“You look so pretty when you come…I love it.”

but the fun wasn’t over quite yet! Keeping his palm planted to the center of your back, Eren held you down and continued drilling into you..rutting his hips into your cheeks and shoving his cock as far as he could go. “It’s alright, mama. You did so good..but let me handle the rest. I got it..lemme take care of you.” his voice completely soothing and comforting as he massaged your back. To be so delicate after making you nut for a third time was nothing less than to be expected of your man.

however, he’d be joining you shortly and you’d both be on that climatic cloud together. His voice began to crack and you’d hear his breathing become faster..he was definitely reaching his peak and before long, those thrusts slowed drastically and only came in shape jolts, signaling how close he was. That grip was a little too much now and with his shaft swollen inside of you, he’d have no choice but to stay in it. “Ha!-f-fuck!..I’m ‘bout to come, baby..”

and with those final words from his beloved (y/n)..

“Come in me..nut in this pussy, daddy. I want it..”

he’d fulfill your request by dumping every drop and inkling of his warm seed into your womb. Pinning you to the mattress before collapsing over onto your entire frame. Whining so helplessly, that it was so attractive. Being the one to witness his most vulnerable moments was so amazing, especially when you were responsible.

lying there in complete shock, you were pretty sure everyone on that bus had probably heard the two of you creating a chorus of chaotic love making. But none of it matter. In that room, it was like an entirely different planet where only you both existed and you didn’t want to come back down anytime soon..

brushing your hair off the nape of your neck, he’d place a couple soft kisses on it and your spine before bringing your face back around to let your lips crash together again. The slow kisses after fucking like animals was always the best.

“I love you..” “I love you more..” the words exchanged through pressed lips but you both meant it clear as day. For a minute, he’d just gently caress your back to soothe you. Watching you cry, even if from pleasure didn’t sit right with him! “How you feel? Are you okay?” Whispering against your ear as he gently pecked it. All you could do was giggle because after that, you had no complaints. “Much better now..you?”

and of course, it was no question: “Let’s just say I feel like I can go do a hundred shows now.” Making both of you break into laughter. It seems that your motivation was doing wonders for him.

but first, a little bit of actual sleep wouldn’t hurt! One thing was for sure though..cars, jewelry and bags aside, what you done to and for him and the love you gave was completely priceless. Something not even money could buy.

[like-apollo]

A Funky Friendsgiving

[I thought it would be fun to include some characters from my last story]

You were laying on your back in Anthony's king size bed, as his tan bubble butt was spread across your face.  “Don’t be shy babe, eat it up” he said as he was grinding on you, rocking up and down your face causing his hole to move from your nose to your mouth, back and forth. It smelled so bitter yet sweet.  “I mean it is Thanksgiving after all.”

The movement was building pressure around his puckered ass and you knew you were trapped.  Not that you minded

BBbbbrrRrRAaaaaPppptt 

“Ahhhh there you go, baby” he sighed as your tongue pressed against his hole and penetrated deep into his anal canal, causing him to realase more heavy gas down your throat. 

PhhFfrttPtt.

“Kiss it for me, babe?”  He kept ripping ass while grinding on your open mouth and up your nose.  You knew it was the only air you would be breathing tonight but you didn’t care.  It was coming from Anthony’s beautiful buttocks and you had no plans to stop…

Earlier that night, you arrived at your friend Christina’s house for a friendsgiving.  You had been looking forward to catching up with some good friends that you’ve known since high school.  It’s tough to get everyone together being in your 30s now, but you always made it work and it was always worth it. 

Even your friend Dante who you hadn’t seen in several months showed up, which was a nice surprise.  He brought his father David.  His dad was extremely fit and good looking for his age and you couldn’t help but to admire him.  Even though he was older, he fit in with everyone and made good company.  You happened to notice that Dante and David seemed very close for a father and son. Their energy threw you off at first, but you tried not to read into it too much.  Everyone was having a good time, after all.

With such a diverse group of friends, there was an exceptional mix of cuisine:  Dante and David brought their delicious Macaroni and Cheese; Noel brought a large platter of brown rice and beans along with a side of cheesy beef empenadas; Anthony brought his home made stuffed shells; Tia made mashed potatoes and a side of brussel sprouts; you brought a broccoli and cheddar fondu; and Christina, being the host, prepared a delicious turkey with a side of gravy and stuffing.  There was way more than enough food for the 7 of you.

Everyone was catching up and having a good time.  You stepped away to get a beer when suddenly you felt a hand on your shoulder. 

“Yo man!  Long time no see.”  You tunred around to see your friend Anthony.  Anthony was tall, handsome guy and he always had your back, even in your earlier school days.  Being an extrovert, Anthony now worked in sales and introduced you to a lot of people throughout the years, both friends and colleagues.  He was charismatic and always made people feel comfortable, but he was also a great friend. You couldn't help but admire his charm. 

“Hey Tony!  I was just grabbing a drink.”  Tony walked with you to the kitchen as you caught up with each other.  You've always had a crush on Anthony, but your friendship never went beyond that.  He knew you were gay from the beginning which helped him open up to you when he began exploring his own sexual identity and thoughts about other men, but it was more platonic.  Plus he had been living with his boyfriend Alex for over a year now and you cared about his happiness more than anything. 

Still, you felt more of an attraction to him tonight and noticed he was talking to you more than any of your friends.   Not that you minded, but it was hard to keep your feelings down - literally as your cock jumped in your pants every time he spoke. 

After a few drinks, it was time for dinner.  You looked in awe at the abundance of a delcious dinner in front of you.  Anthony grabbed 2 plates and handed one to you.  “Look, so there’s something I wanted to tell you.  After my promotion, I was actually able to move out and get a place of my own.  It was rough at first, but I’m making it work.”

You didn’t really understand what he meant.  Last time you checked, him and Alex were doing well together.  “Oh wow. I mean that’s great Tone, but you and Alex already had your own place, no?” 

“Yeah, so about that...”  Anthony was loading his plate up now.  He started with the Mac and Cheese and then added rice and beans. “As you know, me and Alex have gone through our ups and downs in the past.”  He was piling up his plate now with turkey, brussel sprouts, 2 empanadas, stuffed shells and mashed potatoes.  “We were always able to work through them, but we got into a big argument and there’s just no going back.”

You honestly didn’t know what to say. On one hand, you were shocked.  I mean, you cared about your friend, but it also low key made you excited knowing that he was single again.  But you also wanted to be there for him.  “Wow Tony, wait so back up, everything was going good between you and Alex, so what happened?” 

“I don’t really know how to tell you man, but“

“Sheesh Tony, the food isn’t going anywhere” he was interrupted by your other good frined Noel, noticing the mountain of dinner on his plate.  “I can’t even see the plate underneath!”

“Relax Noel, there’s definitely more than enough food here.” Christina chimed in.

“Yeah, but we all know what happens to Tony’s stomach when he eats too much.” Noel said grinning.

Noel was great guy and he was part of your inner circle back in the day.  What he was referring to was Anthony’s lactose intolerance, which you all were familiar with.  Even when he took his digestive enzymes, Tony’s gas was heavy and lethal. And dairy just added fuel to the flames.  Tonight his plate was full of different cheesy foods in addition to the turkey.

Tony walked over to Noel: “Life’s too short, man.” he turned his back to Noel.  “Sometimes you just gotta let loose-”

BbbbBBrrRRppPPttt

“…and live a little” he said as he ripped a booming 7 second fart right on Noel’s plate.

“Come on Tone, that was right on my food!”  Noel said frustrated as he walked to the living room.  Anthony just gave an evil smirk as he followed behind Noel.  Everyone was laughing about it as they went to the living room – well, everyone except for you.

Aside from the potent stench, his fart didn't really phase you. You stood in the kitchen for a moment contemplating what to do.  You really wanted to tell Anthony about your feelings tonight, and he just disclosed that he was single now, so you had the freedom to speak on it.  Still, as his friend, you wanted to know what happened with Alex. You wanted to talk to him, alone.

Back in the living room, everyone was eating and chatting.  Anthony was enjoying his massive plate while chatting with Dante and David.  You walked over and sat with them, trying to join in the conversation. 

“Man that was a pretty gnarly fart earlier” Dante said with a laugh.  “Can’t imagine how bad it’s going to get after dinner.” 

“Trust me, it’s gonna keep me up all night.” Dante and David gave each other an interesting look, which you never understood to this day. But your mind was occupied about Anthony to think too much about it.

Anthony finished his plate without saying a word to you.  You felt a shift in the energy, as he got up and walked to the bathroom.  As the night went on, you caught up with your other friends.  You tried to talk to Anthony again but it was as if he ignored you.  He was showing you so much attention at the start of the party, so what was going on?

By the end of the night, everyone was saying their goodbyes until it was just you and Anthony.  You both decided to leave together and after saying goodbye to Christina, you walked outside in silence.

“I’ve been trying to talk to you all night Tony” you said breaking the silence.  “You okay?”

“I’m good man, it was just a little bit uncomfortable earlier” he was finally opening up to you.

“Look, Tony, I’m not sure what happened but you can talk to me about anything.”

He looked at you and took a deep breath, then closed his eyes forcefully as he leaned forward.

BBBbbBBBRrrrRRPPPbbBBUUuuUUUMMMPpppPPPFFfffFTttTTt

He let out a loud, chunky 23-second fart that shook the whole street and set off the neighbor’s car alarm.   Even being outside, the smell hit burned the inside of your nostrils as you began coughing.

“Damn Tony, you might wanna check your pants. I was just-“

He interrupted you.  “Look I don’t know how to say this, but here it goes: yes, I have some powerful gas. But it’s not for everyone.  Alex wasn’t a fan of it.  We ended up getting into a huge fight over it.  The reason I left is because he couldn’t take it and he wasn’t open to it.”  he was looking at the ground now.  “He told me it was disgusting…”

“Wow, Tony, I’m so sorry man, I had no idea.  I mean it seems a little extreme to break up over farting.”  You wanted to tell him more about your feelings, but you were just trying to be there for your friend at this point.

“Well it’s not just about the gas.  The thing of it is, I have a kink for farting on other men.  I haven't been able to explore that yet. And I wanted to with Alex.  He seemed so open minded when we first met and I thought that after so much time he’d be willing to try it” Anthony said, now looking up at you.  “And the other thing is, seeing you tonight just made me feel good again.  But I didn’t want this to weird you out.  I mean I saw how Alex reacted…” It was all making sense now as to why he was ignoring you.  

Somehow through the gas, you were extremely turned on.  You had never really tried anything with farts before but just the idea of Anthony being so vulnerable in this moment about his deepest desire was turning you on. You didn't understand it but you were open to it.

“Look Tony I gotta be honest with you man.  It’s always been you.  I’ve always liked you.  Yes, your gas is powerful, but that never really bothered me.  Actually, if you want, we could try it out sometime…”

He grabbed your hand. “Well hopefully Christina doesn’t mind keeping your car overnight.  And we can just tell her you drank too much or something” He said with a laugh. Now Tony was the one getting hard at the thought of farting in your face all night.  “Would you wanna come back to my place?”

You couldn’t say no to him.  The thought of being with Anthony, who you've known for years, and the thought of taking his beautiful ass just felt right.  His stomach was rumbling at this point and he was ready to give you all of his built up gas, and you had no choice but to be there for him. 

You made it back to his car. As he puilled out of the driveway, he locked all of the windows.  

BrrRRrRRMmpppffffFffFt. The first of many deadly farts erupted and he moaned in relief, hand on his stomach.  The smell was intoxicating and you felt your eyes water being trapped in his car.  You honestly weren’t sure if you could take it but that was just turning you on more. Not to mention that it was giving Anthony so much pleasure and fulfilling his desires. Your dick was growing in your pants.

You started giving him a belly rub as he drove back to his place.  You could feel the bubbling in his guts as he was driving quicker.  The combination of all the food he ate was really messing with his stomach.

PffFfFFFFrRUrrrtT His farts kept coming out and shaking his seat.  “Ugh babe I have so much gas tonight.  I hope you’re ready for it.”  The smell was overpowering your mind.  You moved your hand down from his stomach and felt his throbbing cock through his pants, which turned you on even more.  Good thing Anthony’s house was only a few minutes away.

Tthe smell was overpowering, but you were so turned on being inside in Anthony’s fart cloud and breathing in his gas.  It’s like he was conditioning you to fall in love with his funk.  He quickly parked and you looked at each other as he kissed you passionately in the midst of his stink.  You were both precumming now, as he licked your lips and you felt his tongue inside your mouth. You both made it inside to his room, while he ripped as with each step up the stairs. 

You walked in first and he followed, closing the door behind him.  You walked over to his bed and he followed.  “Baby, you know you’re gonna take all of this ass tonight, right?” he says taking his pants off.

He turned around and you saw his bubble butt busting out of his slacks as he threw them to the wall.  He turned around to reveal his 8 inch rock hard cock poking through his underwear.  You were staring in awe, dick throbbing as you began to unbutton your own pants when he pushed you back on the bed. He turned around and stood above you. 

You saw his beautiful ass pointed out getting closer to your face as his legs straddled each side of your torso.  He finished taking your pants off as his ass rested on your face like two firm pillows until he was pressing full weight on your warm face.

Anthony pulled out your dick and jerked you off as he leaned forward .  You gripped his waist and pushed his butt farther down onto your face as his cheeks spread further apart in his underwear.

BbBbBBrRRrRoOommMmpppFffttt.

This was the first of his farts that you ever took directly to the face and the smell hit you instantly. You had no choice but to breathe it in and smell his toxic fumes.  “Ahhhh fuck baby, having your face on my ass is what I've been waiting for.”  Even through his thin briefs, you could still taste the bitter aroma of the enormous plate he ate earlier. 

He ascended up giving you a moment of semi-fresh air with the smell of his farts still lingering and pulled down his underwear to reveal his glorious, tan bubble butt.  It was slightly hairy and his raw, unwashed crack looked delicious. 

You were laying on your back in his king size bed as he spread his bare, tan ass across your face, feeling the rim of his smooth asshole brush up against your mouth.  “Don’t be shy babe, eat it up” he said as he was grinding on you, rocking up and down. It smelled so bitter yet sweet.  bBBBbruuppPppFfT “I mean it is Thanksgiving after all.”

He was moving his butt up and down your face while your tongue was going in and out of his dirty hole.

BBbbbrrRrRAaaaaPppptt 

“Ahhhh there you go, baby” he sighed as your tongue pressed against his hole and penetrated deep into his anal canal, causing him to realase more gas down your throat. 

PhhFfrttPtt.

“Kiss it for me, babe?”  He kept ripping ass while still grinding on your open mouth and up your nose.  You knew it was the only air you would be breathing tonight but you didn’t care.  You were in heaven with Anthony, enjoying all his gas. 

“Fuuuucckkkkk babe, I hope you weren’t tired tonight, because I have no plans of stopping.”  You opened your mouth and planted it around his ass, pushing deeper as he pressed harder on your smothered face. 

BRRRrrRrooOommFfrRRooUUmppttTT

“Mmmhhhhh-ugh” Anthony was moaning in pleasure as your entire mouth surrounded his throbbing hole.  He ripped more and more ass.  You could feel the pressure release from his body as he moaned in relief.  

Even though you could barely breathe, you kept licking Anthony’s hole and taking all of his bitter farts, as you felt his warm mouth surround your throbbing cock. You released loads of thick cum down his throat until it overflowed from his mouth.  “Nngghhh” You heard a faint strain from above before

BBBBBBBbBBbbbrRRruuUuUMUmNnnNNNMMPPPpPpFfftTTTtttTTsss

The strong pressure from his hole released a violent, meaty eruption of farts that lasted more than 60 seconds, with his toxic fumes releasing directly into your face, forcing you to breathe pure gas.  Your vision became blurry until you were unconscious, knocked out by Anthony’s dirty farts.

[sev-life]

What if Snape was a dad?

So, I'm not talking secretly Harry or Hermione's father. Draco is just his godson. Severus Snape is just a dad. A single dad at that.

He had a one night stand where the condom broke or he forgot protection charms. Maybe the sex was great, maybe it was forgettable, but either way that awkward conversation on what's next happens about 6 weeks later. Severus was always the type of man to do the work, so he wouldn't be any different when it came to his own child he was terrified of having.

And Baby comes faster than he thought possible, with diapers and bottles and all of the laundry spells. Honestly, his wand is getting tired and he needs to grade. But he loves his child more than he thought possible, keeping them close and safe and never hurt like Severus was. He would never abuse his little one. The other parent was out of the picture (died in the war, didn't want the baby, in Azkaban), so he does everything by himself and with the help of the most investigated and monitored (not that they know that) MUGGLE babysitter he could find.

Severus is the best dad too, makes good dinners and plays outside, reads bedtime stories, and always gives his child the love he never saw. He helps them with their homework and teaches them about magic and potions. Severus makes sure that all of their clothes fit, even if it's with a quick spell before he can get to the shop. He listens to all of the playground drama and attends all of the class parties and shows (With the help of a time turner of course). Snape also participates in the bake sale even though "The flyer was passed out last week and you didn't tell me why?" But he had so much fun rolling out cookies with the most precious person on the Earth.

Of course, Snape is strict when it comes to safety. He has given a few timeouts and a handful of groundings and extra chores, but he would never ever raise a hand (or belt or wand) to his baby. He wasn't his parents and refused to stoop to their level.

But the real kicker, no one knows. Well, until Hogwarts that is. Professor McGonagall chokes, checked her glasses, then reread the name on the list of first years when one ended in SNAPE. But up stepped a first year in new robes that looked undeniably like their father. The child eagerly waved to the professor who smiled and waved back, giving a big thumbs up (students swore it was a stroke). And was promptly sorted into Ravenclaw.

Severus enjoyed stealing from Minerva's scotch stash as Albus and her lectured him for HIDING A FULL CHILD FROM THEM!!! Snape did not apologize. Then he went to find his child and checked that they were comfortable and knew exactly where his rooms were where he had an extra bed added.

[rookthorne]

⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂ 𝐊𝐞𝐞𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐂𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐞

Bucky was a sweet talker; able to get every last thing he wanted if he just used the right words or tone with anyone. It was part of his charm. Though you thoroughly enjoyed it, he tended to weaponize it against you at the least convenient times; up a ladder and decorating the tree one of them.

჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻ 𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 ♆ Pornstar!Bucky Barnes x F!Reader

჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻ 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕 ♆ 675

჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻ 𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 ♆ Fluff, Clingy and Needy Bucky

჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻ 𝒂𝒖𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒓 𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒆 ♆ He's too soft and too damned cute for his own good, I swear.

჻჻჻჻჻჻჻჻ 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒏𝒕 ♆ @rookthorne's Merry Buckmas — Masterlist

𝐏𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

“Baby girl…”

“Yeah?” you grunted, stretching further towards the top of the tree. “What, Buck?”

Heavy footsteps approached, then you felt the soft caress of Bucky’s hands over the outer side of your thighs. “Vixen, baby—honey love,” he cooed. “Why are you up there, huh?”

The small step ladder creaked as you moved your feet closer together — an ancient thing you found at a sale when you first moved into the apartment. “What does it look like I’m doing,” you replied, looking down at him from your vantage point. “I’m decorating the tree; it’s Christmas and I also love the lights—so I thought why not.”

Bucky’s eyes reflected the lights that ran along the cove of the ceiling and the tree beside you; light blue and grey turning to reds, greens, and golds. You smiled hesitantly under his intense gaze. “What?”

“You’re jus’ so damned pretty, Vixen,” he said quietly. “Need any help?”

You snorted and shook your head. “Such a sweet talker, but I’m okay—I got this.”

The warmth from his hands disappeared, and he walked over to sit on the lounge to watch you work — until he grew restless. 

There were only a few minutes of peace between him sitting down on the lounge and him huffing with apparent boredom, and you rolled your eyes, resolutely ignoring him while you wrapped tinsel around the top of the tree. 

“What is it, drama queen?” you asked eventually, after he flopped dramatically on to his side with a heavy sigh. “I’m busy.”

“That’s the problem,” he whined, and you felt the heat of his gaze rove over your body. “I’ve got the prettiest girl not payin’ any attention to me–”

“I am putting up the Christmas tree, you animal,” you interrupted, and you shot a sharp glare at his slumped figure. “You can wait; you won’t wither away to nothing while I finish this. And when I’m done–” You reached further over, around the back of the tree, tinsel and lights still in hand. The position moved your back into an arch and your thighs stretched. A low whistle cut off your rambling. 

“Now that is a sight I wanna see for the rest a’my life, kitten,” Bucky purred, the proximity of his voice startling you. “Fuck. I love your thighs, and your ass.”

A startled sound escaped from your throat when Bucky’s hand gripped the back of your thigh, only for him to move it up and cup your ass with his palm and squeeze. “Buck!”

“What?” He pouted and widened his eyes for the full effect. “I jus’ wanna love on my girl—that a crime, huh?”

“It is when I am on a damned ladder,” you snapped, slapping his wrist playfully. “Away with you, you animal—you can make it up to me later.”

“No.” 

“Bucky–!” Your squeaked protests fell on deaf ears as Bucky wrapped his arms around your waist and hauled you close. “Let me go–”

“No,” he repeated, squeezing you for emphasis. “You can work while I hold you—I jus’ want my girl.”

You sighed and shook your head. “You’re impossible, you know that?”

“Yes.” The muffled reply came from somewhere around your back. “I know I am, but you love it, Vixen.”

“You’re right, I do,” you murmured, resting your free hand on his shoulder, over the soft material of his sweater. “Just don’t knock me over while I work.”

“‘Kay.”

For the entirety of the time that you continued to work on the tree, with all of the tinsel and lights, Bucky somehow managed to stay plastered to your side — even when he became cumbersome at points, you kept your mouth shut in favour of running your hand through his loose, dark hair to calm down again. 

All he wanted was to be close to you, and you couldn’t fault him for it. 

Not even when he grumbled when you put tinsel in his hair, or when you placed a star on the crown of his head and told him he was the brightest one in your night’s sky.

⠁⠂⠄𝐢𝐧𝐛𝐨𝐱 | 𝐥𝐢𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐫𝐲 | 𝐚𝐨𝟑 ⠄⠂⠁

⠁⠂⠄𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 | 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 ⠄⠂⠁

[alwaysxlarrie]

harry is louis’ baby fic rec masterlist part 2 :)

hi hello, so, i actually started putting together this masterlist at the end of april (since then, ‘ain’t that a kick in the head!’ has been deleted, which was on the original list. big rip) but then life just kept getting in the way. & i have like 57485 fic rec masterlists that i want to get out but i wanted to post this one first, so. here i am. i usually do 50 fics per rec list, but this is 25. so it seems i can do a (semi) shorter fic rec list. who would’ve thought? anyway, enjoy!!

a million roses (bathed in rock n’ roll) by deLILAh

i’d come across this fic a number of times before i actually read it because i don’t listen to lana del rey (thank you jennifer & @hlkings for showing me the wonders of her music) so i wasn’t sure if i’d be able to follow the storyline. but!!! worry not. that knowledge isn’t required. amazing strangers to lovers, good smut, 10/10 relationship development & individual character development 

and the truth shall set you free... by @jaerie / jaerie

jaerie knows i love this fic. my friends know i love this fic. i’m pretty sure most of the world’s population knows too. the relationship development in general & portrayal of inexperienced!harry/experienced!louis is top tier. it’s interesting reading harry going through his journey, in a generally pretty accurate way (from the perspective of someone who grew up religious), so i love that it’s in harry’s pov. i love how louis goes from teasing to soft to guiding so naturally, as well.

a rose, by any other name by @canonlarry / iwillpaintasongforlou

this fic portrays protective louis so well while harry’s still independent & in charge of his own autonomy. there’s some mentions of violence in this, just a disclaimer, but it’s veryyyyy minor! really good (dark) plot twist at the end too!

a cage for every ugly spirit by sarcasticfluentry

listennnnnnnnnnnnn. this fic??? & it’s sequel???? amazing. top tier. i just love how all the different elements of religion, kink, romance, smut, etc connect

be my little good luck charm by 100percentsassy

the flirting!!!!!! my heart!!!!!!!!!! i know larry hitting it off right away is a canon trope & all that but it’s not always easy to write in a way that doesn’t feel rushed & this fic depicts that perfectly. there’s so much wonderful humor, fluffy moments & lots of domesticness.

baby we could be enough (i’ll make this feel like home) by orphan account

i am an absolute sucker for fics where either harry or louis is a single father & the other one just swoops into their life & fits. & that’s exactly how this fic is. i’m not an angst person at all, but i also love how there’s realistic angst/concerns that a single parent would have about bringing another person into their lives. other than that bit, there’s still a whole lotta fluff !!

breathless for eternity by cabinbythesea

wow another fic where they’re strangers, hit it off immediately & have the cutest dynamic!! i’m a walking cliché atp but listen, although this is mostly pwp imo, the way louis picks up on harry’s mannerisms, what he needs as a sub, how to tease, etc is beautiful???? that takes talented writing!! we love to see it?? thank you for this???

boy for sale by @ohpleaselarry / ohpleaselarry

i mean, listen. do be mindful of the tags & what not, but. at the very core, harry is simply louis’ baby & you will not be convincing me otherwise. i would absolutely die for a prequel or a sequel. the undertones throughout this fic are *chef’s kiss*

baby thinking of you keeps me up all night by ballsdeepinjesus

i am nothing if not consistent with loving famous!louis/fanboy!harry fics, alright? you gotta give me that at least. the internal struggle louis goes through throughout the majority of this fic is so funny but also so real of him??? plus, we love thigh fucking here, so. a winner in my book!

do not falter (there’s a star ahead) by @londonfoginacup / ladylondonderry

all you need in life is harry feeling safe surrounded by louis’ scent. shit, me too, harold. there’s so much cuteness in such a short lil fic & altho it’s open ended, we all know they got together & lived happily ever after, thank you v much

gotta get (me) outta my head by @parmahamlarrie / parmahamlarrie

i have severe adult adhd & the way bee wrote this is phenomenal at making anyone who has adhd feel so seen & understood. i dream about writing my struggles w adhd as wonderfully as she did. & the way louis helps harry & is there for her in just the right ways so, so fantastically done. top tier fic for sure. 

heartbeat (fire on fire) by @larryficwriter / theifinlife

this fic was written for my @notjustsmutficfest & i adore it. louis being so vulnerable to comfort harry, louis’ family being so supportive, the check ins during the smut, the way harry makes sure louis is okay too??? I’M CRYING PEOPLE (also, there’s great smut, too)

i love this feeling (but i hate this part) by @lululawrence / lululawrence

i love the crack mixed with cute dynamic mixed with dealing with very real life situations. & the teasing at the end????? i cry!!! give this a read asap rocky

i’ll crash until you notice me by @aliensingucci / stylinsoncity

i love the pacing & how it brings in realistic elements of a boss/employee relationship while not taking out you out of the fic. top tier smut & dirty talk. the bar + bathroom scene??? that shit was art. also i love how much harry went to bat for the natives & kept coaxing louis to respect the culture of the buildings & all that. (like it’s the bare minimum really but i do like the fact that the fic went into that aspect & acknowledged it!)

late night talking by @kingsofeverything / kingsofeverything

this is simply just me continuing to not let lauren forget how much i love this fic. i could talk about this fic for hours & i’ve included this on a masterlist before but idc bc listen. the sneak dating?? the flirting?? the tension building?? there were a few plot points that kept me on my toes (everett, i’m looking at you & how long you managed to stick around for) & i respect that. i have so much more i could say about this fic but i’ll stop here so i don’t spoil anything lol.

my pleasure (to make you mine) by @zanniscaramouche / zanni_scaramouche

i don’t think i’ve let zanni have a moment of peace about this fic since i read it. for that, zanni, i’m sorry. but i’m also really, really not. the way their dynamic right off the bat is so seamless & louis does his best to make harry feel comfortable is what we in the industry like to call cinema. prior to this fic i didn’t really care one way or the other about nipple play in fics & now i don’t understand why it doesn’t occur more in fics?? zanni, you’ve changed me as a woman thx bb

meow or never by velvetnoodle

as a cat lover who has attempted to discreetly bring cats home before & a louis lover, i understand harry’s dilemma. i would also do exactly what he did if given louis’ offer. i will leave it at that & will let you bask in the magic that is this fic.

no bunny but you by @crinkle-eyed-boo / crinkle-eyed-boo

this is another fic i will simply never shut up about. louis is smooth as shit??? like. i WISH a guy would do for me what he did for harry in this. there’s just so much to adore in this from the flirting, the teasing, the relationship developments, the softness, all the little plot twists. 10/10, top tier, no notes

promise not to fade away by @nobodymoves / you_explode

i adore the way this toed the line of angst & fluff so well. it’s so sweet & cute & hot & has an open/ambiguous ending that still gives you a sense of closure imo. as someone who typically is not an open/ambiguous ending fic fan, i absolutely endorse this fic. 

stood up by panda_bear21

the pop punk!louis/popstar!harry (or the bad boy!louis/good boy!harry) trope will always give me the will to live. i love this fic bc it’s cute & does sexual tension well & while it does bring up closeting & general hollywood shittiness, it does a good job of making you feel like it’s not the actual focus of the plot & still leaves you with some hope, if that makes sense & i appreciate that v much

three french hems by 100percentsassy & gloria_andrews

idk if it’s because i started reading fan fics on wattpad (i mean, really my journey started w fanfiction.net & the fics that had the actual fic in the youtube description box & the video was a slideshow of pics but i digress) but i have a soft spot for smaus. & they can be....tricky (the wattpad homies know) but this is done so well & i need someone to get louis some perfectly cooked prawns pls!!!! also louis having a thing for harry’s thighs rly makes this baby a winner imo

to be a better man by @thedevilinmybrain / devilinmybrain

i have a weak spot for fics where harry or louis cheat on their significant other w each other. it’s my guilty pleasure. sue me. jen is so good at describing feelings, actions, etc to make you feel like you’re in the fic watching it happen. i adore the changes in larry’s dynamic, how smoothly it all happened, how much louis cared & understood exactly what harry needed, how easily harry gave in &let louis take care of him. i would absolutely read a part 2 of this w harry & louis together

wrapped in light, in life, in love by orphan account

i will never not be obsessed w fics that have the louis is gemma’s best friend & harry’s in love w him trope. that mixed w how easily & instantaneously harry & louis get along even after not seeing each other for years? add a dash of harry having louis’ baby & how obvious they are about their feelings for each other? GIMME

when we were young by @allwaswell16 / allwaswell16

ok so this is a series, not a fic B U T i feel like  you can read the fics stand alone & you can feel the vibe from each fic, but i think since they both have the ~vibe~ you just feel it all so much more when you read them together. ANYWAY. they’re so obviously smitten w each other & of course everyone else can see it but them. harry is an oblivious shit but we love him (&so does louis).

you took my heart by surprise by @loveislarryislove / livelaughlovelarry

it takes a while for harry & louis to warm up to each other, but once they do, it is just...so, so good. annika’s writing will make you feel like you’re actually experiencing the same emotions as the characters are. louis’ protectiveness & how adamant he is to not let anything get in the way of protecting harry, including himself is so heartbreakingly sweet. i cry. i adore how annika describes the emotionally conflicting emotions & situations while keeping the undertone of how much they care about & want each other. annika does not play when it comes to angst & that is a warning (although this is def not her most angst-filled fic by any means)

your heart can love again by sloganeer

this fic speaks to the famous!louis/fanboy!harry stan in me. a shocker, truly, i know! it’s so cute. i love how their relationships transitions in a way that’s quick but doesn’t feel forced & just makes sense -- the way they get domestic so quickly is simply *chefs kiss*

**friendly reminder to please leave kudos & comments on any of the fics you end up reading from this !! show the writers some love :)**

[froggydoodles]

I got an email about the first test charms i ordered being shipped today. I'll put them on sale as soon as they arrive. While waiting I cleaned another old drawing i plan to use as a charm in the future. I'm thinking of making the next one two sided like this.

Also i don't remember talking here about the first test charms i ordered. I sent my baby Ruby and Chelsea drawing first so the first charms gonna be like this

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

What if Aro told Carlisle that he suspected him to be gifted back when they were together in Volterra all those years ago?

Anon's talking about Carlisle's hypothetical gift, TL;DR people like Carlisle.

Caveat

To me it's not unbelievable Aro wouldn't have done so (if we take my gift theory as fact). He doesn't get to see Carlisle in action enough, with people who should be hostile and not simply annoyed, to have any kind of meaningful proof or anything beyond mild suspicions (if he in fact has those).

What pushes him over the edge in @therealvinelle's Nebuchadnezzar's Dream (where this gift is a large plot point) is seeing things from Edward's perspective as well as what Carlisle has managed to make of himself.

Carlisle has become a doctor to humans who are terrified instinctually of vampires and people like him. Esme as a human didn't just think he was great but idolized the idea of him for years. We know that Elizabeth felt confident and comfortable on her death bed to ask Carlisle to turn her son into an alien (granted, Elizabeth could just be and likely was a very interesting person, but still). Charlie Swan notes to Bella how he really likes the Cullens, primarily Carlisle who he sees the most of, and thinks they're a great family and only seems to become concerned about Edward after the New Moon fiasco.

Add onto that that Carlisle wasn't murdered by any suspicious covens along the way even with funky yellow eyes and a weird sales pitch, that he was able to negotiate with the wolves, and that he has friends everywhere who will all risk their lives not just for his sake but for the sake of his weird baby thing that his adopted son made with a human, and a record of every thought Edward has witnessed surrounding Carlisle and how they all approach him, and that's getting Aro on board with the hypothetical gift meta idea.

But when Carlisle was in Volterra, Aro didn't have that. He might have wondered "man, how is this guy so hot and charming?" but it could just be Carlisle's hot and charming.

So, I could see why he wouldn't consider it deeply or bring up even suspecting it if he did. Gifts are rare, he's probably wrong, and even if he is right--this one's a doozy.

But Alright, Let's Say He Does

Carlisle leaves to become a hermit.

At first Carlisle doesn't believe him. What Aro's saying is nonsense. Of course Carlisle interacts with the world the way normal people do, and isn't secretly using demon mind control, Aro's the one who told him there's no such thing as Satan.

This is ridiculous.

However, some way or another (perhaps involving ye olde pyramid schemes, 17th century David Bowie and glam rock, and pilgrammage for the Ziggy Stardisciples) they manage to prove that what's happening to Carlisle is not normal. This is not how the world works for ordinary people.

Upon being convinced, Carlisle realizes not only is every relationship he has a fraud, but he's taking advantage of everyone around him (worse, of course, if he had romantic interactions with them). Everyone has to like him, everyone has to agree with him, everyone has to listen to him even when he could be wrong.

"I must become a hermit and seek solitude in the mountains"

Aro, of course, is devestated and think this is ridiculous. "CARLISE, I READ MINDS AND MURDER PEOPLE ALL THE TIME AND IT'S FINE! YOU'RE FINE!" (this is not a compelling argument)

It's made worse that Aro takes the opportunity to try to get Carlisle off the diet again. Look, Carlisle, if by nature you're a mind controlling demon you might as well eat people. Right?

I imagine Carlisle leaves Volterra and seeks solitude in the mountains, contemplating the deep secrets of life/universe and writing theological treatises. Aro asks Demetri to check in on him every once in a while and see how he's getting on/if he's ready to be reasonable.

He never is.

[muffinlance]

State of the Muffin Report: Year Four (2022-23)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY FANFIC. Little Zuko was first posted on this day five years ago, way back when I thought FanFiction.net was the place to be, and had never yet heard of AO3. 

Today I bring before you a look back on my fourth year of fanficing, as well as lofty aspirations for the coming year.

The numbers:

Fanfic:

This has been the year of ficlets. Finished Cuckoo-Vipers, Hello Dragons Here, and a few other mini-AUS; started up some others. Didn’t get as much done on existing stories as I’d wanted, but I absolutely blame pregnancy for that one. Very happy with how much I did end up writing.

Serious Face Writing:

Li’s Friends has now raised $3,907.28 USD for wildlife charity, not counting gift matches. Well done, internet. 

Currently running a pre-order for book one of Fox’s Tongue and Kirin’s Bone, which will officially be up for sale on March 21st, after a very excellent first year on RoyalRoad that got me an audiobook contract and a nice little Patreon. Thank you, people who are paying me Real Money for writing. <3

Year Five (2023-24) Goals

Fanfic: 

Putz with more ficlets and small AUs, because let’s face it, I’m going to be writing over a newborn while a toddler runs around me.

Finish the current book of Towards the Sun. We’re currently on the final field trip, so that should be very doable. —I say, using the exact same wording as I did last year, for this exact same goal. Second year’s the charm?

Get back to writing Cheating at Pai Sho. I want to get to the glory that is Season One Toph, dangit.  

Serious Face Writing & RL: 

Finish Fox’s Tongue Book Two, The Skin Stealer’s Son, and edit it up for publication and audiobook production.

Evict Secondborn from her occupation of my womb, and begin leveling her in her starter class of Baby.

Special thanks this year goes to the folks who followed me from AO3 over to Royal Road. The modest-but-very-awesome start to my serial fiction career gives me hopes that I can one day do the elusive Write Full Time thing. Which would mean both more original fic AND more fanfic. Because 48k of that word count above was absolutely me using fanfiction to procrastinate on writing my Serious Story. As one does.

Cheers,

MuffinLance

[machihunnicutt]

HELLO!!! 14 or 21, if either of those speak to you???

HELLO!!! Loved both of these...tried to incorporate both:

14. being calmed by the familiar feeling of the other's body molding into theirs & 21. cuddles without doing anything else even though they have a bunch of things to do

“Are you hiding out in here?” BJ said. 

Hawkeye was sprawled, arms and legs out like a starfish, on their bed. He was wearing a pair of borrowed (stolen) running shorts, a sweaty t-shirt, and his tennis shoes, which were hanging off of the mattress. 

He poked his head up to look at BJ, standing in the doorway. 

“I don’t know where she gets all that energy from,” Hawkeye said: hushed, as if Erin could hear downstairs. 

She had the radio on, full blast, and just before BJ wandered off in search of Hawk, she’d been reorganizing the piles of toys she was keeping and the toys she was labeling with a rainbow assortment of price stickers, for the garage sale.

“She’s 13,” BJ said. 

“She accused me of being a hoarder,” Hawkeye said. 

“She’s going through a minimalist phase. It’ll pass,” BJ said.

Peg had enlisted Erin’s help in her spring cleaning endeavors, which had culminated in Erin’s first Mill Valley garage sale. Erin was always eager to assist, particularly with projects that allowed her to organize things or order people around. She liked taking money and making change. She liked selling fresh squeezed, super sour, best in town (her words) lemonade and making bargains and trades with her old baby dolls and jump ropes and clothes she’d outgrown. 

When they’d picked her up at the airport, for her summer visit, she’d recounted her escapades as a young entrepreneur and organizational savant with such animation, that BJ had agreed to let her host another sale at their house in Maine. He hadn’t thought about how much stuff they had and how many boxes and trash bags and superfluous pieces of furniture Erin would want to drag out onto the lawn and pepper with price tags.

Hawk wiggled to the right and patted the space beside him.

“You don’t think I’m a hoarder, do you?” Hawkeye said, as BJ stretched out beside him.

Hawkeye rolled on his side and pressed up against him, slinging one arm over BJ’s chest. He was warm, and still a little breathless. They fit together the way they always did: Hawkeye’s stomach flush with BJ’s ribs, his ankle hooked around BJ’s, his chin tucked over BJ’s shoulder, his eyes closed, and his nose pressed to the side of BJ’s neck. 

“I think you—have an exceptional eye for knick knacks,” BJ said.

“Useless knick knacks, that I hoard,” Hawkeye said.

“Don’t blame yourself. Knick knacks aren’t known for their utility,” BJ said.

Hawkeye laughed. This, too, was familiar: the buzzing, exultant, vibration of the sound. BJ laughed too, at his own joke. It was a chain reaction. It always was, when they were lying like this.

“Those salt and pepper shakers shaped like teddy bears are useful, and charming,” Hawkeye said.

They’d found them antiquing. Hawk said they reminded him of Radar. He’d carried them around the shop for half an hour, while they’d browsed. 

“Don’t tell me she wants to get rid of those,” BJ said.

Hawkeye pressed closer and kissed the underside of BJ’s jaw.

“She’s still working on the living room. I steered her away from the kitchen while you were going through all the crap in the garage,” he said.

“Oh, so the kitchen’s got all the treasures and the garage is full of my crap?” BJ said.

“Our crap,” Hawkeye said.

“Our crap,” BJ said, grinning. 

He could hear Erin downstairs, singing along to a Buddy Holly song at the top of her lungs. She’d wear herself out soon, he knew, and ask if they could go out for ice cream.

“I can talk to her, get her to tone it down a little. She gets very passionate about her projects,” BJ said.

“I love that about her. She gets that from you,” Hawkeye muttered: drowsy, muffled against BJ’s collarbone.

“I’m just saying you shouldn’t let her talk you into parting with things you don’t want to part with. She’s a reasonable kid,” BJ said.

A long pause. 

“Hawk? You awake?”

Hawkeye hummed. BJ looked down at the top of his head. He studied the sweat-damp tangle of his dark hair, streaked with silver. 

“A little decluttering is probably a good thing. I don’t have to hang onto everything for dear life anymore,” Hawkeye said. He relaxed his grip around BJ’s middle.

“That’s true. We’re sticking together, you and I. So’s our stuff,” BJ said.

“Our stuff,” Hawkeye said. He tipped his head back and looked up at BJ. “I like that it’s our stuff,” he said, voice soft.

There had been a time when there were very few objects by which BJ could remember Hawkeye. There had been a time when they were across the country from each other, and everything that belonged to the both of them, together, was stuffed in BJ’s old army trunk, under his bed, collecting dust. There had been a time when Hawk had very little of him: a shoebox full of letters, a couple fading photos, mismatched socks that had never been traded back. 

“So do I,” BJ said.

“Maybe we can introduce Erin to the joys of patronizing other people’s garage sales,” Hawkeye said.

“Peg will have my head if we send her home with an extra bag of nonsense,” BJ said.

“She can keep it here,” Hawkeye said.

“What about decluttering?” BJ said.

Hawkeye exhaled, with extra drama. “Everyone’s a critic,” he said.

“We should get up. We’ve got things to do,” BJ said.

Hawkeye kissed him, long and lazy.

“I’m plenty busy,” he said.

The volume of the music downstairs lowered, fractionally.

“Dad?” Erin called.

“Yeah, bug?” BJ said.

“I’m out of orange stickers,” she said.

“She’s out of orange stickers, Beej,” Hawkeye repeated, gravely.

“Maybe it’s time for an ice cream break,” BJ said.

Hawkeye sat up. His hair was mussed and his face was pink. He stretched, languidly, and yawned. BJ missed the sensation of Hawk’s skin against his.

He pressed his palm to BJ’s knee and squeezed. Sometimes BJ thought Hawk could read his mind. Maybe the feeling went both ways.

“Inspired idea,” Hawk said.

[mylittleredgirl]

finally, m*a*s*h update!

season four disc two! ("quo vadis, captain chandler" to "dear ma")

there is a LOT going on in the frank and margaret department

i kind of tipped my hand here when i posted about my new obsession, but even if you are not circling the drain on this doomed ship... the Unresolved Breakup Tension is fuckin WILD in this disc

she literally punches him in the face!!! how was that not a breakup!

but then he buys her something or does something to charm or impress her, and it works! then he blows it again!! rinse and repeat!!!! i am 👀🍿

sam and diane from cheers are still theeee platonic ideal of slap-slap-kiss but these clowns definitely walked so they could run

i literally jumped off the couch when his wife found out, aaaaa it's so juicy

I'M SORRY i realize this doesn't speak well of me as a person, but those long close-ups on her face as she voluntarily eavesdrops on him dismissing their relationship (twice!!) and her heart gets fully crushed??? i could eat popcorn to this all day.

this is the kind of dysfunctional relationship that my artist friends would choose in our youth so that we could Suffer and Make Art, so i really hope margaret is writing terrible poetry about it

anyway, we're peroxide-roots deep into GIRL WHY??!??

and then bj very gently explains to radar that well, see, frank and margaret both kinda suck and we're in the middle of nowhere, so they're all they've got

and i had to spend three or four days staring at the ceiling about it, because YEAH. it's not just that they're each other's only rank-appropriate source of star-spangled orgasms

(and they both care far more about military hierarchy than they do about marital fidelity)

but they are so consistently unkind to everyone around them that they have no other choice for any human connection full stop.

i'm not even talking about their ongoing bullying war with hawkeye and trapper or bj, because that's dirty pool on both sides, but i could count on one hand the number of times either of them have interacted with a subordinate nurse or enlisted man without threatening them. like they literally would not have anyone else to talk to.

but the reveal that she still wants to MARRY HIM? oh god. ohhhh honey. noooo.

that fake proposal prank was so genuinely mean. mostly because they ruined her hot date! 👏 let 👏 margaret 👏 fuck 👏 random 👏 dudes 👏

"isn't general barker the one who wanted you to spank him?" lmaoooo

OKAY i swear i can talk about other things:

hawkeye continues to just NOT pull without trapper here. the nurses are fully dismissing or ignoring his efforts, and honestly is he even trying that hard?? have we seen him get even one date?

i've been trying to come up with an "intricate rituals" joke about hawkeye and trapper but where the rituals are... girls. you get me.

i re-watched the pilot and the desk ep (for frank/margaret reasons DON'T JUDGE ME), and hawkeye and trapper LITERALLY end the pilot handcuffed together, and in the next episode talk about sharing a nurse. how am i supposed to take this???

speaking of nurses, you know that little 🙄 you have to ignore in 2024 whenever the women on m*a*s*h get called honey and sweetheart and baby on the job (though tbh i worked on a construction site and an ad sales office in the 2010's and got the same treatment -- but in the modern day it's done ironically babe)

BUT when potter calls margaret "good girl" after he gets shot??? total opposite feeling. i literally had to pause and take a moment. he's her dad now.

also when he tucks radar in???? everyone's dad actually

in loving memory of radar's other dad though, two important points:

how proud would henry have been of drunk & disorderly radar??

and henry's "i've always wondered if i might be radar's dad" bit is genuinely 900% funnier now that we know radar's mom looks EXACTLY like him.

i don't think i have ever circled back to talk about klinger, who became so so so awesome

it's so funny that in klinger's very first appearance and 30 times since then, he has been told straight up that wearing women's clothes will never work to get him out of the army. there's no explanation for his commitment to this particular form of passive resistance except that he genuinely loves it

the swamp rats built a still and klinger got a sewing machine and learned a craft. he's so good at it!! his looks are 🔥

i feel uncomfortable when i see him in fatigues tbh. it happened a few times in this disc and i would like it to Stop actually

also precious baby father mulcahey... Protect Him.

i LOVE that everyone showed up for his church service when the grand poobah chaplain was in town. they love each other!!! (also the life magazine jeep shoot!!!)

"quo vadis, captain chandler" was really good. i'm still over colonel flagg's whole deal but i now understand why everyone loves sidney freedman, and the guest actor they had playing not-jesus was incredible

bj continues to be the best little brother hawkeye could have asked for

also he maybe invented cpr?

i didn't say much about him here but I LOVE HIM and also his off-screen wife

forward and onward!!!

[mrs-luigi-vargas]

A Calm(ish) and Relatively Relaxing Time

Rating: General Audiences Characters: Bowser, Luigi, Daisy, Kamek Relationships: Bowser/Luigi Tags: Humor, Fluff, Minor Character(s)

Summary: Wherein Luigi and Bowser were watching their Baby Yoshi and they’d only taken their eyes off it for a second, they swear, where the heck did it go —? (Postlude to An Egg in a Trying Time) Word Count: 6,774 words

[AO3 Link]

~~~

Bowser and Luigi’s talk didn't go as horribly as Bowser had feared.

Well — it wasn't like it was going to go horribly in the first place; the two of them hadn't spent a non-zero amount of time holding hands in that plaza for nothing. But Bowser had made a complete fool of himself in the days prior, and he was still reeling from the scale of it. Talk about a major screw-up.

...Though maybe it wasn't that major of a screw-up, considering he’d still managed to charm Luigi despite it all. Heh.

Still, they’d both agreed there were better starts to a relationship than Bowser’s hindbrain going haywire, so a bit of a do-over was in order. They still had the rest of the vacation, after all, to hang out normally without any instincts or surprises getting in the way. Which was fair. Bowser welcomed the chance to redeem himself, even if his vague memories and Luigi’s assurances softened the necessity of that.

And in Bowser’s opinion, said hanging out was going great so far! Yesterday he’d met up with Luigi to hang out with the kid as promised, and it was then they'd gotten a chance to have their talk, and even walk around and grab lunch in what he wasn't going to dare call a date for fear of getting his hopes up too high. And sure, he’d had Mario glaring at him from afar the entire time, but that hadn't mattered because he’d honestly hardly imagined getting Greenie to smile at him this much outside of his wildest dreams but there he’d been, grinning just as much back. It had been a lot of fun!

And Luigi had evidently thought so, too, as today was more of the same; he’d wanted to check out some of the shopfronts in the center of town, so here they were, minding their Baby Yoshi as they walked down the street.

Bowser looked down at Luigi — brown curls bouncing with every step, Baby Yoshi cradled in his arms. Yep, it's been fun having Greenie metaphorically on his arm, especially as his gloriously grade-A self. The rest of this vacation was going to be awesome!

Sensing his stare, Luigi raised his head to meet it. “Whatcha thinkin’ about?” he asked, tilting his head curiously.

Bowser debated actually telling him the entirety of it. He decided not to. “You,” he instead smirked, and smugly delighted in the red of Luigi’s face. This was his new favorite thing, he was pretty sure.

Luigi’s gaze, averted in embarrassment, caught on an outdoor stall selling hats. He drifted over to it and the vendor cheerfully began giving him a sales pitch, showing him a bunch of hats to consider buying. Despite Luigi’s interest, the sheer number of options clearly had him overwhelmed; the vendor’s pushiness wasn't helping, either. Besides, none of the hats Luigi was being shown suited him to begin with — at least in Bowser’s opinion, anyway.

Bowser plucked a hat that did from a hook hanging above them; a tan, wide-brimmed sun hat he dropped on Luigi’s head. It covered Luigi’s eyes as it landed, and the end of the green ribbon tied around it fluttered under Luigi’s nose and caused him to scrunch it in a way cute enough to be borderline illegal. Good thing Bowser was a villain then, wasn't it?

To use both hands to adjust it, Luigi put the Baby Yoshi down on a nearby overturned box. As Luigi turned away, it sniffed. It stared off into the distance at something Luigi couldn't see because he was smiling shyly at himself in the mirror, at something Bowser couldn't see because he was busy staring at Luigi smiling shyly at himself in the mirror. The color of the hat actually matched his blouse now. Not bad, if Bowser did say so himself.

Luigi’s eyes flicked to the side, and all at once his smile faded to confusion. “Hey,” he said, staring at the empty box.

“Huh?” Bowser tore his eyes away from Luigi’s figure to focus on his face.

“Where’d...piccolino go?”

“Uh...” Bowser looked around. Oh. Good question. “You had it a second ago!”

“I...” Luigi, face paling, mentally retraced his steps. He searched the surrounding area, and Bowser did as well. Where did it go? It couldn't have gone far; they only weren't paying attention to it for a literal second!

Yet Luigi’s search radius kept widening. The patterned edge of Luigi’s skirt swished about his knees as he frantically spun every which way, calling for their piccolino.

“Greenie, wait —!” Bowser reached out a hand as if to grab Luigi, but he had long drifted out of reach. He whirled around to the vendor. “You! Where’d the kid go?”

The vendor gulped. “I — I don't know, I wasn't watching —”

“Whaddaya mean, you weren't watching?!” Oh, how Bowser wanted to punch this guy’s face in. But Luigi’s voice was getting farther and farther away. Bowser yelled in frustration, knocked one of the hat displays over, and chased after him before he lost both Luigi and the Baby Yoshi.

Bowser caught up relatively quickly, his larger strides winning out over Luigi’s unfocused wandering. Luigi’s panic, he understood; there was something in the back of Bowser’s brain that was also spinning off the rails about losing a kid of his, but he wrestled it down. Luigi was freaking out enough for the both of them as it was; he was already near tears. But tears and aimless wandering weren’t gonna help them find the kid.

And so, when Bowser finally reached Luigi he picked him up bodily off the ground with both hands. Luigi struggled, kicking his feet and hitting Bowser's wrists as if he could make Bowser let go with those tiny fists of his. “Put me down,” Luigi pouted, and Bowser was almost too distracted by the facial expression to acknowledge the request.

“Don't wanna.” Bowser shook Luigi lightly, as if to wipe his despair away like one of Junior’s old drawing toys. “Stop running around.”

Luigi’s face twisted. “Piccolino is lost,” he said. “Aren't you worried?”

“Yeah,” Bowser admitted. But this wasn't his first rodeo. Hell, he could hardly count the number of times Junior would up and disappear, even with half the castle watching him. That was just how kids were, sometimes. They always found him, though. And they’ll find their kid, too. “So screw your head back on, already.”

“It’s probably scared!”

“It’s probably hungry.”

Luigi scrunched his brows in thought. “...so...it’ll stay nearby, where all the food is,” he said slowly.

Bowser’s face broke into a proud grin. “Hey, there’s the brain I’d gotten a crush on!”

Luigi sputtered, blushed, and took a deep, calming breath. “Right.” He wiped his eyes. “We’ll find it.”

“Of course we will!” Bowser set Luigi down and adjusted his hat. “It's probably waiting somewhere obvious, eating its weight in who-knows-what by now!”

“Ha! It’s definitely got your appetite.”

“Mine? No way, it’s got yours for sure!”

They both couldn't help but chuckle, tension cut. But they needed to get back to business and make a game plan for finding their kid.

“Alright.” Bowser nodded resolutely. “You gotta ask around for the kid.”

“Me? Why not you?”

Bowser gestured to himself with a raised eyebrow, noting how naturally intimidating he was.

Luigi pursed his lips. “You look like a handsome yet concerned parent to me.”

“Just get to askin’,” Bowser grumbled, face hot.

Luigi got to asking, flagging down nearby passersby to ask if they’d seen a small, green Baby Yoshi around. Most of them were happy to help where they could, however despite Luigi doing most of the talking, Bowser standing at his five o’clock not quite keeping his own worry for their kid completely off his face ended up intimidating them out of giving many details.

Luigi glanced at Bowser after the nth try, one that had nudged them closer to finding their Baby Yoshi, but not by much. He beheld the results of the negative feedback loop of worry and the lack of leads and irritation that had spiraled Bowser’s mood down, down, down for all he tried to remain relatively composed, and his eyes trailed down to Bowser’s clenched fist by his side. Luigi extended his own hand. He hesitated. He reached out the rest of the way, and Bowser jolted at the touch of warmth to the back of his hand.

Amidst Luigi’s anxious expression, his eyes reflected Bowser’s assured words from earlier; to it, Bowser huffed, tentatively loosening his grip enough for Luigi to curl his fingers around one of Bowser’s own. Bowser adjusted his grip and carefully squeezed it, tension on his face chased away by the frenzied butterflies in his stomach crashing into each other about Luigi’s hand in his.

It was enough for the next person Luigi asked about the Baby Yoshi to give them more than a few breadcrumbs, pointing them toward the amusement park. “I hope it's alright...” Luigi worried as they drew closer to the wooden sign marking its entrance.

“It hasn't been that long,” Bowser replied, though he was still craning his neck every which way for any hint of their kid.

Suddenly, they heard a shout. “Yoo-hoo~!”

A blur of orange ran toward them. Luigi brightened upon seeing it. Daisy beamed back as she approached, but she slowed to a stop seeing Luigi and Bowser’s linked hands. She stared at them, and then at Luigi, brows raised.

Bowser could practically feel the self-conscious desire to tug his hand away radiating out from Luigi. But too bad for him, because Bowser didn't wanna let go! So he tightened his grip. Luigi sent him an apologetic glance Bowser didn't see in favor of glaring at Daisy challengingly. “Got a problem?” he growled.

Daisy met his glare unflinchingly, leaning forward. “Only if you're gonna treat him badly,” she threatened, “because if you break his heart...”

“Oh, save it.” Bowser rolled his eyes. “Peaches already gave the whole speech, and hers was way more intimidating than any crap you’ll say.”

“Hmph.” Daisy stood up straight. “That's fair. I don't think she and Mario would leave anything left of you for me to beat up, anyway.”

“Tch.”

“Daisy,” Luigi broke in before the conversation could escalate, “have you seen a Baby Yoshi around anywhere? We lost it.”

“‘We’?” Daisy did a double take. “You have a kid now?”

“No! Yes. Ah...” Luigi shook his head rapidly. “It doesn't matter. It's all alone; have you seen it?”

“Hm...” Daisy rifled through her memories. “Was it cute and little and green?”

“Yes!”

“I think I saw it earlier!”

“You did?”

“Yeah! It was trying to get into the amusement park, but got turned away. Argh,” she tugged at her hair. “It struck me as weird, but before I could do anything it’d vanished in the crowds! If I'd known it was yours, I would've...Sorry, Lu.”

“No, no, no, it's fine,” Luigi reassured her, tugging his hand from Bowser’s — to Bowser’s dismay — to flutter around her placatingly. “You didn't know! Did you see where it went, at least?”

Daisy nodded. “It was headed toward the beach, I’m pretty sure!”

Luigi smiled wanly. “Thanks,” he said, though he still looked troubled.

“Hey, don't worry” — Daisy smacked Luigi on the back in encouragement; he almost fell forward, hat falling over his eyes — “you’ll find it! The island’s only so big!”

“But it's so small...”

Daisy put a comforting hand on Luigi’s shoulder and jostled it. Bowser’s mood soured the longer it rested there.

“Which is why we should leave and go to the beach now,” he said crossly.

“Oh, hey, maybe I can come with you guys to help with the search!” Daisy bounced on her heels. “Six eyes are better than four, right?”

“No,” Bowser said, in a way that had Luigi frowning at him. He tried again. “You should stay here just in case it wanders back.”

Daisy laughed. “That's quite the sensible idea from you!”

Bowser grumbled. Luigi sent Daisy an exasperated look.

“You can count on me,” she continued regardless, clasping Luigi’s hand in a handshake. “Who knows? I’ll bet I’ll even find it first!”

Bowser scoffed, turning to leave for the beach. Daisy tugged Luigi back for a few extra words; Bowser side-eyed them as she whispered something to Luigi, elbowing him with a wink. Luigi rubbed his side with a blush on his cheeks. Bowser resisted the urge to march over and drag him away from her.

Luigi jogged over to him before long, though, and he matched Bowser’s frown with one of his own. “Is something wrong?”

“No,” Bowser replied mulishly. “Forget about it.” He stomped towards the beach. Luigi fell into step next to him, concern and contemplation on his face.

As the two of them sped into a run, Bowser took Luigi’s hand in his own. “So you don't slow us down,” was the reason he gave, face averted and cheeks red.

Luigi’s face softened as he adjusted his grip and squeezed. After all, even in sandals, Luigi was still the faster runner of the two of them.

---

Bowser and Luigi stopped short at the edge of the beach, heads turning every which way to see if they could spot their Baby Yoshi. They didn't, but Luigi did spot Peach’s beach umbrella in the distance. He ran ahead to it, Bowser following close behind.

Under the umbrella, Peach was sitting crouched over a Mario buried in a mound of sand. Deep in concentration, she was using the edge of a seashell to trace designs in said sand to make it look like a dress of scales. Her focus broke at Bowser’s laughter. “Shh!” she hissed, mischief warring with the scolding frown she sent his way. “He’ll never stay still long enough to finish if he wakes up!” Her gaze turned toward Luigi, as Bowser quieted himself. “Luigi!” she greeted him. “How’s your date going?”

Bowser's laughter caught in his throat. “Uh,” they both stuttered, glancing between each other and back again. Luigi pulled his hat over his face. “It’s not a date,” they tried to insist.

“Sure,” Peach smirked. “Though...” She examined the worried lines on their faces. “Something’s gone wrong, hasn’t it?”

“We were watching the kid and it up and went missing on us,” Bowser informed her. “Daisy said she saw it heading this way; you seen it?”

“No, I haven't!” Peach gasped. “But I can start looking. I suppose I'll have to wake Mario up after all. “

Just then, Bowser Junior ran up to them. “I found some!” he cheered, and dumped a bucket of kelp onto Mario’s face.

“Change of plans, Junior.” Peach brushed some kelp off Mario’s forehead. “The Baby Yoshi’s gone missing, and we need to help Luigi and your dad search for it.”

“Oh.” Junior drooped. But he bounced back quickly, claiming that finding the Baby Yoshi would be easy. For all their sakes, Bowser hoped he was right.

The group agreed to split up; Peach, Junior, and Mario would search one half of the beach. while Luigi and Bowser would search the other. Their discussion roused Mario, who blinked owlishly at the predicament he found himself in. Luigi offered him a brief wave as Peach filled him in before he and Bowser hurried off for their part of the search.

Unfortunately, they hit the end of the beach with no sign of their kid. Hoping that the Baby Yoshi was on the other side of the beach, or that it had decided to continue onwards on its journey to stress its guardians out something fierce, they waited for a text message from Peach or Mario while they followed a nearby path that wound through trees and eventually split into two.

They found Mayor Pauline rummaging through her purse at the intersection, and she spared a moment to greet them. “Oh, you don't have whatever it was under your shirt anymore,” she remarked to Luigi.

“That was a Yoshi egg, actually, and it's a baby Yoshi now,” Luigi sheepishly explained. “A baby Yoshi that’s lost. Have you seen it?”

“No, I haven't.” Pauline frowned. “I’ll keep an eye out, though. I did see — Kamek, was it? — skulking about down that path over there.” She pointed to said path. “Maybe he had something to do with it?”

“What kind of assumption is that?” Bowser glared.

“I don't know!” Pauline crossed her arms defensively. “Mario mentioned once that he had something against the Yoshis! It was just a guess!”

Bowser sneered at her. Was Mario wrong? No, though it pained to admit. But still, Kamek knew better than to mess with one of his kids. But speaking of Kamek, he’d probably have a spell that could find the kid quickly, so maybe they should go find him. Bowser said as much to Luigi, who agreed.

“Before you go,” Pauline said, “Do you know where I can find Princess Peach? I’ve got something to...to give to her.”

Pauline tried to keep a straight face while giving her request, but the color on her cheeks betrayed her. It darkened at Luigi’s visible amusement. “She’s at the beach,” he told her. “She’ll be thrilled to see you!”

As Pauline stammered a thanks and hurried off, Luigi and Bowser continued on down the path she’d indicated. Along the way, Bowser couldn't help but wonder aloud why Pauline was acting weird about seeing Peach. When Luigi told him the reason, Bowser’s resulting cackling earned him a surprisingly strong shove for someone of Luigi’s size. It didn't put a dent in Bowser’s amused incredulity, though. At least he could say she had good taste, he supposed.

That amusement lasted until they got farther down the path and came across a tree. If it was a tree on the side of the road, it wouldn't be very remarkable, but this particular one was smack-dab in the middle of it, growing straight out of the cracked asphalt.

“Interesting urban planning decision,” Bowser remarked, examining it.

“I...don't think this was on purpose?” Luigi plucked a bright red fruit from a branch. “These trees aren't even native to the island!” He noticed more trees beyond this one, in a misshapen line stretching out down the path. “How’d they get here?”

Bowser peered over Luigi’s shoulder at the fruit. He reached over Luigi’s shoulder to pick another one off the ground. That one had a bite mark in it. A bite mark that, even after only two days, Bowser knew like the back of his hand.

They both stared at it. As one, they looked forward to the line of trees, each one having scattered half-eaten fruit at its base. They shared a glance. They sprinted down the path.

---

The trail of half-eaten fruit led them to a park. With the lack of any additional fruit trees in the vicinity, they searched for where to go next.

“I think I saw some fruit over — yikes!” Luigi ducked, and a frisbee whizzed through the space where his head just was.

“Watch it!” Bowser snarled at the group of kids who’d thrown it.

“Bowser,” Luigi admonished him, picking up the frisbee and throwing it back. The kids scattered as soon as they caught it.

“What?” Bowser said, completely unapologetic. Luigi had almost gotten hurt, after all! “What were you saying?” he asked, getting back on track.

Luigi sighed, but decided to let it go. “There’s some more fruit over there,” Luigi pointed to the new trail of it curving around the concrete path. They followed it until it veered into the grass and stopped in front of a curtain of foliage. Bowser parted the leaves and there was a path: dirt-floored, overgrown, seemingly rarely visited. Luigi ducked under Bowser’s arm to proceed onwards, and the curtain fell closed as Bowser followed.

Bowser had little trouble stepping on and over the branches and brambles and roots, inadvertently paving a way forward, but Luigi’s open-toed sandals forced him to slow down, and his cute skirt getting caught on low-resting branches wasn't helping either, even as he found himself in Bowser’s wake instead of in front of him like he’d started.

“You go on ahead,” Luigi told Bowser when he turned back in concern. His face was screwed in concentration with the effort to navigate the path, tongue poking out. “I’ll...catch up soon!”

Instead of doing that, Bowser watched Luigi struggle for a little bit longer, huffed fondly, closed the distance between them, and picked Luigi up to sit him on his shoulder. Luigi yelped in surprise.

“W-warn a guy first, will ya?!” Luigi exclaimed, one hand on his hat and the other gripping Bowser’s horn tightly. He was smiling, though, and Bowser playfully shrugged his shoulder to jostle him until he got comfortable enough for his grip to loosen.

Up this high, Luigi was clear of all that was giving him trouble moving before, so the two of them were free to continue on at a brisker pace. As thanks, Luigi patted Bowser on the head; Bowser acknowledged the touch with a nudge to Luigi’s side with his head that accidentally turned into more of a nuzzle. He thought he’d be able to get away with the slip-up, but given that Luigi carded a hand through Bowser’s hair right after, maybe he hadn’t been as subtle as he thought. And given that Luigi kept up the motion as they walked, maybe it didn't matter at all.

Regardless, onward they went, to hopefully either find their Baby Yoshi or find Kamek, for him to help them search for it.

---

The path opened up to a clearing that, in contrast to the path itself, was incredibly well-kept and peaceful as far as groves went. Near the middle of it, leaning against a large stone, was Kamek, working away at some crochet.

“Look alive, old man!” Bowser shouted, shocking Kamek into dropping his yarn. “You’ve got somethin’ to do for me!”

“Lord Bowser,” Kamek greeted him. “What fortunate timing. I believe I have something you can do for me. And that thing is retrieving what you’ve gone and lost.” He pointed his crochet hook towards a nearby pond, where near the edge walking towards them was —

“Piccolino!” Luigi leapt off Bowser’s shoulder, Bowser too slow to catch him. He landed, slipped, hit the ground, stumbled to his feet, and ran over to their kid. In those motions he lost a sandal, and Bowser bent to pick it up. He watched Luigi kneel on the ground, tearfully cradling and scolding their kid, and something in his chest settled.

“How’d you find it?” Bowser asked Kamek, as Luigi pressed his face into the crown of the kid’s head.

“It was just wandering around, without a care in the world.” Kamek rolled his eyes. “Honestly, were you so distracted to lose a single Baby Yoshi?”

“Well, yeah.” Bowser shrugged. “Just look at him.”

Kamek scoffed.

“Thank you so much, Kamek,” Luigi said, voice still thick with tears.

“Don't mention it,” Kamek replied. “Don't,” he said again as Luigi opened his mouth again. “Just get the brat on a leash, so I never have to do this again.”

Luigi sniffled. Kamek’s stern look melted away with a sigh, and he floated a handkerchief to him to wipe his eyes with. As Luigi blew his nose, the Baby Yoshi babbled up at him. Luigi patted it on the head.

After all of today’s worries, there was little left for Luigi to do now that they were resolved besides slump to the ground in exhaustion. So he did, Bowser sitting next to him. The Baby Yoshi, meanwhile, squirmed out of Luigi’s grip and waddled off. Luigi and Bowser watched it like a hawk, but all it did was find the nearest apple and roll it over to Luigi with a concerned-sounding chirp. Bowser and Luigi both relaxed.

“You’re gonna be the death of us, kid,” Bowser said to it. Its response was to reach for him. Bowser obligingly gave it a claw, and it sang a little tune as it grabbed hold.

With the claws on his other hand, Bowser cut the apple into three pieces. One to feed to himself, one to feed to the kid, and one to feed to —

The fruit in Bowser’s hand stopped mid-journey to Luigi’s mouth.

Wait.

Luigi was staring at him, face red. There was no way Bowser’s wasn't the same as he stared back. Yet he remained frozen in place, the silence stretching into eternity as he scrambled to escape this painfully awkward situation. What Bowser should have done was retract his arm and refuse to acknowledge that the moment had ever happened. But no, instead of doing anything sensible like that, Bowser pushed his hand forward and all but stuffed the apple slice into Luigi’s mouth. Because of course he did.

Luigi made a noise of surprise as it happened. “...Thanks?” he mumbled confusedly around the mouthful, and the urge to curl up into his shell and hide crept up Bowser’s spine. But of course he wasn't going to do that, because it was the coward's way out, and he was no coward!

...He really wanted to, though.

During Bowser’s crisis of embarrassment, Luigi chewed, swallowed, and sat up, the Baby Yoshi in his lap. He didn't meet Bowser’s gaze; though his embarrassment wasn't as grand as Bowser’s it was nonetheless very much present. His attention lingered on Kamek, who was busy examining his crochet. “Hey Kamek, what’re ya making?” Luigi asked.

“...nothing.”

Bowser squinted at the shape the loops of yarn were forming. “What are you making a hat for?”

“None of your business.”

That was kind of a tiny hat, wasn't it? Almost the size of a... “I thought you didn't like Yoshis.”

“Who said this was for your Yoshi?”

“You did.”

“I —” Kamek scowled. Bowser grinned. Hah, he never got to outsmart the old man like that! He grinned at Luigi, too, who offered a bemused thumbs up in what was definitely congratulations, he was sure!.

“That’s nice of you! It'll love it!” Luigi cheered. Kamek’s eye twitched.

“As if the kid didn't like you already!” Bowser laughed, loud and boisterous. “Just admit you like it back! Heck, maybe you should tell it — it's not like it won't be happy to hear it!”

“Truly? You know, I’m not so sure,” Kamek deadpanned. “Maybe I should wait a season and a half before doing so, in case something goes wrong, and it decides to ‘hate me forever’ for it, hm?”

...That was a low blow.

“A season and a half...?” Luigi repeated, brow scrunched at the sly lilt to Kamek’s words.

“Uh!” Bowser stiffened. “N-no, he’s just being stupid — exaggerating — it wasn't that long...”

“Exaggeration, is it...?” Kamek lazily propped his chin on his hand. “You know, on second thought, maybe I should pester someone in the dead of night to come up with a way to remove all my feelings entirely because they’re too confusing for me to handle.”

“Old man if you don't shut up right now I swear I’m gonna —”

“Going to what? Pretend I’m a mirror and talk yourself hoarse about —”

“Kamek!”

Kamek cackled, sitting back and picking up his crochet work again. Bowser fumed at the failure to intimidate him into shutting his trap before —

“...you tried to remove your feelings for me?”

“No!” Bowser snapped his head down to meet Luigi's slack-jawed stare with his own wide-eyed one. “That's stupid! Why would I do that? I didn't do that!”

“Why?”

“I—! Because—!” How was Bowser supposed to explain how half his universe turned upside down after that damn kart race? How he’d watched Luigi claw his way to first place in the final race of the Grand Prix, utilizing all sorts of tricks and treachery he never would have expected him to be capable of? And how the image of Luigi on the podium, sheepishly holding his trophy aloft, nose still bleeding a little from when he’d fallen flat on his face when he’d tried to get out of his kart after the race had ended, had stuck in Bowser’s mind for the rest of the day, and the next, and the next, and the next? Or how Bowser’s idle curiosity about a hero’s sidekick like Luigi having a hidden ruthless side had grown until he’d found himself watching him for another sign of it, and even though he’d just kept getting his usual goody-goody behavior over and over again he’d stubbornly kept observing him, hoping to see Luigi finally slip up and do something else just as interesting? How weeks later, during some downtime at one of the tennis tournaments, Bowser had looked across at Luigi returning a lost ball to a child, a scratch on his chin from a mishap during the search for it, a bright yet soft smile sitting on his face, and had been slammed with the realization that Luigi’s usual goody-goody behavior had inexplicably become the interesting thing he was watching for? And how said behavior had somehow transitioned from interesting to endearing in the meantime? And how it felt when he’d prodded at the reason why, and in doing so crashed the status quo of liking Peach all around his ears, leaving him standing in the rubble of it with no idea what to do next in the absence of the familiar and faced with the unknown?

“...It was a stupid idea and I'm not doing it, so stop looking at me like that,” Bowser settled on saying. “I’d regret it, anyways,” he added, and Luigi’s face softened.

“Would you?”

“Yeah.”

With a complete lack of ceremony, the Baby Yoshi kicked its legs and tipped itself sideways out of Luigi’s lap, snapping Luigi and Bowser out of the spellbound staring at each other they had settled into. As it righted itself and milled around the pair, Luigi caught it by the arm to stop it for long enough to press a kiss to the top of its head and regard it thoughtfully. “Why did you run away from us, I wonder?”

“Like I said before” — Bowser crossed his arms, consciously and adamantly refusing to be jealous of a child, of all things — “it was probably hungry. Or maybe it was just bored.”

Luigi hummed, considering. The Baby Yoshi toddled away, then back; Luigi stroked the Baby’s head, and it hummed. “I guess we’re hardly doing anything interesting, as grownups. Not when we’re on a...” Luigi stopped. He glanced at Bowser, unsure.

“...a date?” They both chuckled sheepishly.

“If this is a — a date, then isn't this kid supposed to be being babysat right now? So we can have time to ourselves or whatever?”

“Hm...” Luigi glanced at Kamek. “Hey, Kamek?” Luigi called, voice saccharine.

“What?” Kamek studied Luigi’s face. He realized what Luigi wanted to ask. “Absolutely not,” he scowled. “No,” he repeated as Luigi’s gaze turned hopeful.

“Please?” Luigi added a pout to round out the pleading image.

“No,” Kamek said again, less surely this time. Bowser stifled a laugh. As someone who fell victim to that face yesterday while being convinced to pay for an extra sandwich or three for lunch, he knew Kamek didn't stand a chance in hell of resisting it.

And as if to reinforce this futility, the Baby Yoshi freed itself from Luigi’s grip and toddled over to Kamek. It plopped down next to him, balled a fist into his sundress, and dropped right off to sleep. Kamek stared at it like it was a particularly ugly bomb.

“Thank you so much!” Luigi beamed.

“Stop thanking me.”

Luigi got to his feet, and it was then he finally noticed he’d lost a shoe. He blinked. “When’d that happen?” he wondered aloud.

With a raised eyebrow, Bowser held up the missing shoe. The expectation was that Luigi was going to take it from him to put it on. Instead, Luigi lifted his foot and slipped it into the shoe while Bowser was still holding it. Bowser stiffened in surprise; Luigi froze, foot halfway in the shoe. They stared at each other.

Face red, Luigi jerked his foot upwards out of Bowser’s grasp, shoe and all; the suddenness of doing so sent him stumbling. As Luigi finished putting his shoe on, movements stiff and eyes glancing everywhere except for the person he was leaning on to keep his balance, said person was resisting the urge to snicker at him. He really was too cute. Even better was that he didn't move his hand when he was done, even as Bowser got to his feet! So with his other arm, Bowser waved at Kamek. “See you later, old man!”

Kamek sighed. Hand-on-arm, Bowser and Luigi left him frowning resignedly at the Baby Yoshi.

---

As they walked down a different, better-maintained path, the color of Luigi's face gradually dimmed back to its normal shade. When he finally gathered the courage to meet Bowser’s eyes again, it was after glancing worriedly back at the clearing they’d left. “I hope he isn’t mad...” Luigi worried.

“Are you kidding? That was hilarious!” Bowser answered, not answering Luigi’s question. Luigi huffed.

“Maybe we should get him something to pay him back for this.”

Bowser shrugged. “Suit yourself.” There’s gotta be a good enough knick-knack for him somewhere around here.

They tossed around ideas of what to get Kamek while continuing down the path. As it brought them over a bridge, Luigi, distracted by the lily pads floating below it in the lake, stopped to lean over the railing to peer at them. And although Bowser kind of wanted to hurry up and get back to the beach, he couldn't help but feel it wasn't so bad, pausing to bask in the fluttering feeling in his chest spurred by the relaxation resting on his companion’s face.

After a while, Luigi spoke up. “Was it really that long?” he asked.

It took Bowser a minute to realize what Luigi was referring to. He shrugged self-consciously. “I had to...get used to it first. It's only really ever been all about Peach for so long. And this...with you it...felt...” He struggled for words. “...Different. Bigger than that. S-so however I told you about how I felt had to be bigger, too — I couldn't settle for kidnappings anymore! But...” Bowser glowered at the water’s edge. “But then I ended up kidnapping you anyway...ugh, stupid brain...”

Luigi smiled wryly. “I guess it technically worked, in the end.”

“Maybe I should keep doing that, then!”

“Please don't. I don't know if I could handle that. Or if Mario could handle that.”

“All the more reason to kidnap you!”

“Bowser.”

Bowser laughed. Luigi tried to keep his stern expression in place, but Bowser’s mirth was too contagious for it to hold.

“Hey,” Luigi said when their laughter died down. “What were you thinking of doing, anyway? Instead of the kidnapping?”

“Oh, well...” Bowser rubbed a hand behind his head. “It was just gonna be a song, 's all.”

“A song? I didn't know you wrote music!”

“You kidding?” Bowser puffed his chest with a smirk. “There’s no one in my kingdom — or anywhere else — that's a better piano tapper than me!”

“Wow!” Luigi’s eyes sparkled. “I’d love to hear it! Uh, the song you were writing for me, I mean?”

“Y-yeah, for sure! It’ll knock your socks off, guaranteed!” Bowser bragged. “‘Specially because I spent ages working on it!”

“Oh! That’s a long time!”

“I had to spend that long.” Bowser peeked at Luigi out of the corner of his eye. “‘Cause it’s gotta be perfect like you!”

“I —!” Luigi’s face went ablaze for yet another time today. Bowser’s smirk deepened. Hah. Definitely his new favorite thing.

“Well—!” Luigi managed to say after a whole lot of sputtering. "I'm — I’m looking forward to hearing it!” The effort to push past how flustered he was to say that made it come out as a shout, and it bounced off the trees alongside Bowser’s chuckling. Put out, Luigi pointedly turned his attention back to the rippling water below them, and then to his phone, to message his friends and tell them the Baby Yoshi had been found. Bowser watched him do so, the brim of Luigi’s hat shading the screen, and — wait.

“We stole that hat,” Bowser said aloud, and Luigi paused.

“What?”

“The hat. You just ran off with it.”

“What are you —?” Luigi’s brow furrowed. His hand hovered near his head in thought for a moment, then he snatched his hat off his head. The price tag fell free, and Luigi stared at it with such horror on his face that it circled back around to being hilarious.

“You gonna show your face to give it back?” Bowser teased, and Luigi looked even more panicked. He did, however, elbow Bowser in a vain attempt to get him to stop laughing at him.

“It’s not funny,” Luigi insisted. “It’s not....oh...!” He buried his head in his hands.

Bowser slung his arm around Luigi’s shoulder. “Not even a week and I’m already corrupting you!” he crowed. “What's your brother gonna have to say about that?”

“Absolutely nothing,” Luigi answered, with a glare that held no heat, “because he knows it’ll happen the other way ‘round”

“As if,” Bowser scoffed, despite knowing full well it was, indeed, starting to happen the other way around.

Luigi seemed to know it too, by the crinkling at the corners of his eyes. And by the way he thanked Bowser. “For calming me down when I was freaking out earlier,” he clarified. He leaned into Bowser’s side, and Bowser desperately hoped that he couldn't hear how his heartbeat was thudding a mile a minute.

“Well, what was I supposed to do, let you walk yourself straight into the ocean?” Bowser rolled his eyes with a mask of nonchalance. It was a mask with some cracks of bashfulness in it, and now it was Luigi’s turn to laugh at him. He stood on his tiptoes to kiss Bowser’s cheek before ducking out of his one-armed embrace and dancing away off the bridge. Bowser almost fell over the railing, counterweight gone. “Hey,” he complained, trying to look mad but failing hardcore because holy shit

Luigi twisted to face him, skirt flaring out; his eyes flicked to somewhere just behind Bowser, where Bowser’s tail was absolutely threatening the structural integrity of the bridge he was still standing on in light of recent events. Thankfully, Luigi didn't comment on it as Bowser also got off the bridge. Nor did he comment on how red Bowser’s face was, either.

“I think we should go back and pay for the hat,” Luigi decided.

“You sure we can’t just keep it — alright, alright,” Bowser amended at the flat expression Luigi sent his way. “We’ll go be good guys, I guess.”

“Quite the sacrifice for you, I'm sure.”

Bowser snorted. “I think I can manage. It's just about worth it, anyway.”

“‘Just about?’” Luigi prodded, curious about what could possibly bump it up to ‘completely worth it’.

Mere moments before asking for another kiss, Bowser’s brain caught up with itself. Hold on, would that come across as desperate? No, he already got one, so another wouldn't be weird. Maybe? Probably. Argh, he’s never had to think about these sorts of things before...! At least there was something else he could for sure ask for, though.

“I could get that story you promised me the other day,” he said, trying his best to sound casual.

“Right, I didn't get around to telling you, did I?” Luigi winced. “Sorry. I guess I’d gotten” — his eyes roved over Bowser, briefly — “distracted.”

“Finally!” An exaggerated fist pump had Luigi near-giggling — as if Bowser’s cheeks couldn't hurt any more than they did already. “I’ve been waiting to hear what kind of story ends with you getting called that.” Bowser nudged him, good-natured. “You trying to hold out on me, Greenie?”

“No, no, I was just...heh.” Luigi shook his head. Bowser raised an eyebrow, bidding him to continue. He also held out his elbow, and Luigi slotted his hand in the space as if it belonged there. The two of them fell into step side-by-side, and as Luigi began his tale about the ridiculous events that had followed that fateful job he and Mario had taken all those years ago, Bowser knew the memories of this awesome vacation were going to stick with him for many years more.

And by the way Luigi was practically glowing with happiness, he was more than positive Luigi would, too.

[tanoraqui]

On one hand: I now DESPERATELY want like, a 5+1 of times Maedhros went nuclear on the HOA/PTA (and one time Fingon did it for him).

But also I am now imagining the canon setting HOA/building codes. Like. They're like 95% defensive stuff about keeping walls clear and in good repair, fire suppressant means on hand, etc. But the remaining 5% is buckwild Finwean aesthetic bullshit.

Thanks for the ask! If it’s in any way reassuring, re: your tags on the inspiring post, Maedhros doesn’t run the HOA with an iron fist so much as…okay listen have you ever read the Meng Yao vs. the Board of the Homeowner's Association MDZS/Untamed fox series? Maedhros can’t use his power or his menacing reputation for the HOA (or PTA, etc) because this is his mild-mannered alter ego. He can’t even act too much like Maedhros Fëanorion(TM), because the disguise is glasses + Clark Kenting! So instead of being sexily threatening and supernaturally authoritative, he rules the HOA with nonthreatening charm, spreadsheets, and a dash of blackmail as necessary.

Also, actually, he has a full-time job as a CEO/supervillain, so most likely he rules the HOA through a convenient patsy.

Idk if I can pull out a full 5+1, but…

1. When they were still living in an apartment in downtown Echo City (penthouse, fairly fancy but not where the UBER-wealthy live), one time Maedhros suggested to the building manager that the rooftop garden would be more aesthetically cohesive and appealing with brickwork pathways. The manager brushed him off. Maedhros took offense (“Our contract says that the landlord will maintain the building for use AND aesthetics!”) and rallied other residents to make a fuss. After three weeks of escalating complaints, the building manager nearly started crying in an all-parties meeting as he tried to explain that he’d asked about getting superficial brickwork on the roof, okay, he’s sorry he was dismissive at first, that’s on him, but he did ask, and his boss said that he’s not allowed to so much as look at contractors to upgrade the garden paths—

It was at this point that Fingon pulled his beloved husband aside and asked, “Russo don’t you technically own this building?”

“Yes,” said Maedhros.

“So his boss, or his boss’s boss’s boss’s boss…”

“He was rude to me,” Maedhros hissed. “Which is a failure at his job, too! I will break him, and then I will have him fired and replaced with someone who is a more quality judge of interior and exterior design.”

2. When they moved into a house in the suburbs, neither bothered much with the HOA at first, because they were too busy with their newly untesttubed baby. Maedhros realized he needed to Do Something about it when the HOA wouldn’t let them put up an eye-searing display of Solstice lights. Fingon more or less said “sic ‘em” on this one; in all universes, Noldor are (sometimes fatally) attracted to shiny things. They’re like crows.

3. Maedhros licked the chocolate crumbs from his fingers with intense focus.

“This isn’t just homemade,” he said slowly. “It’s actually good.”

“That’s great!” said Fingon. Judgement passed, he bit into his own brownie. “Mmm, yeah, that is good—I can’t believe your weird little competition prompted her to not just make real brownies for once, but to make good ones! I assumed she lied about the storebought ones because she just couldn’t—hey, no. No.”

He grabbed his husband’s hand, which was pulling out a cellphone with the same forbidding fury that most people reserved for drawing guns.

“You are not allowed to call a hit on Laura from the PTA,” Fingon said sternly. “Be proud! Be happy! You inspired her, and now the bake sale stands a real chance!”

“I’m not calling a hit on her,” Maedhros said grimly. “I said I’d humiliate her and I meant it—so I’m doing far worse.”

He swiped the phone open and handed it to Fingon.

“Please call your grandmother and ask for her brownie recipe—you know, the really good fudgey one that my father always pretended to hate.”

BY THE WAY, it hasn’t come up at all in the au and I’m not sure about the details or implications, but the Vanyar are definitely an alien race. Maybe secretly? 2/3 of this extended family are only partly or mostly human. They still get their superpowers from Finwë’s side, though.