bad blood is one hell of an episode. it literally opens with mulder straight-up murdering a regular teenager via stake-through-the-heart and he and scully are like pretty sure the FBI is going to be sued and they're going to be doing some serious jail time. except both of them remember the story differently. scully's story is predictably logical and straight-forward. the killer was drugging his victims before bleeding them out, mimicking a vampire attack by wearing fake fangs (which are proven to be fake. this is crucial. this kid was wearing plastic fangs when mulder stabbed him. in the chest. with a wooden stake.) what is also crucial is that mulder was a victim of this murderer's attack and so he was tripping hard when scully intercepts the killer. mulder - whilst tripping balls - is convinced that the killer has glowing eyes and flew across the room before running out the door. and so - whilst tripping balls - he gives chase and ends up stabbing the kid through the heart with a wooden stake.
and of course this is the x files and so while scully and mulder are arguing over who gave who the hardest time in their percieved series of events, it turns out that mulder was right. the kid was a vampire and the stake didn't actually kill him. the fangs were fake because he was copying the sorts of vampires that you see in books and on tv. he was a real vampire.
and it's not just the kid. there are bunches of vampires, including the sheriff. the whole town are just. vampires. the lot of 'em. and the second they're found out, they just up and leave without a trace.
sometimes the extent to which mulder turns out to be right in this show is borderline ludicrous, it's amazing, I love it. but what was even better was that the biggest point of contention between scully and mulder's stories wasn't even the vampire thing, it was whether or not the sheriff was actually hot.
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An elder yautja bad blood
A bad blood who will become obsessed with you.
A bad blood who takes you away from earth, chaining you to his bed post.
A bad blood who offers you an arrangement of fruits thinking it’s all humans eat.
A bad blood who will gladly steal something nice if it looked good on you.
A bad blood who would worship the ground you walk on.
A bad blood who would wait patiently for you to warm up to him.
A bad blood who would hold you so very lovingly at night hoping you’ll always love him.
A bad blood that will kill anyone that disrespects you, gladly bring you their head.
A bad blood who has little underdogs he bosses around to do your bidding.
A bad blood who would lay his life down for you.
A bad blood who would kill anyone who gets in his way.
A bad blood who would concur a planet to give to you as a gift.
A bad blood who will take you on walks in foreign jungles and if you get too tired he will gladly carry you bridle style through the rest of the forest.
A bad blood who would tell you anything and never keep secrets from you.
A bad blood who secretly wants to see you dripping in blood after killing something.
A bad blood who will make you custom armor.
A bad blood who will spoil you with all of the riches and beautiful things he can find.
A bad blood who makes his underdogs bow their heads to you.
A bad blood who treats you like a goddess/god.
A bad blood who dresses you in beautiful jewelry so he can carry you on his arm, flaunting his stunning ooman mate around.
A bad blood who would go crazy without you.
A bad blood who would comb the whole universe if you were taken.
A bad blood who would bury his head into your stomach, inhaling your scent every time he sees you.
A bad blood who is so very clingy.
A bad blood who would kill his own right hand man if they said something rude to you.
A bad blood who is your devoted slave, he would lay down his life if you so wished it.
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Every single time I listen to Bad Blood this is all I see in my head
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