#bad news: life in plastic is less than fantastic | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

extremelyblackandwhite · 4 years

Text

willow

pairing: mob!bucky barnes x reader

warnings: violence, harassing

a/n: part two of cardigan, hope you enjoy xx

CARDIGAN - INVISIBLE STRING

- I’m not going to work wearing this. - Y/N stepped out of her bedroom in the dress Pietro had brought her. When he told her he had a black dress laying around she thought he meant maybe the sort of dress you’d wear for a first date, not what she had on at this moment. The dress was short, very short, barely hitting her mid thigh in a fashion that made her have to push her dress down every time she walked in fear she would be flashing someone yet that wasn’t the worse part, no, the worse par was the décolletage. It was plunging, hitting the end of her sternum leaving little to no imagination about the shape and size of her breasts.

- Well hello Y/N’s breasts. - he joked, receiving a slap in the back of his head from his twin sister. - I’m sorry, Y/N. They’re staring at me, I had to say something.

- What kind of dates are you having? - Wanda asked dumbfounded as she started to search for a safety pin to help mend the situation and make it look a bit more work appropriate. Walking up to her, she pinned two sections of the fabric, successfully diminishing the size of the décolletage. - It looks ... nice.

- Is he going to kill me if I show up like this to work? - she pointed at the whole ensemble which was very foreign to her. She was cold and uncomfortable and although the bar tended itself to be very warm once the lights were on, she was already plenty uncomfortable working there. The two twins shared a look that she could only described as “I have no idea” which did little to no good in aiding her nerves. With nothing else to do, she grabbed her worn out bag from the hanger and waved her goodbyes to the twins. Surely it couldn’t be that bad.

It’s just a dress, Y/N. She told herself as she padded the cobblestone grounds that led into the town centre, the dreaded town centre where she was needed to work. At least you have some cute shoes, she reassured herself, looking at her plain black Mary Janes with a buckle which made the shoe extra snug. Adding to the nerves of her dress, she kept convincing herself today she would get some information for her father, even if it was Bucky’s shoe size. It didn’t matter, she was going to get some information and make her father proud.

As she stepped into the bar, she noted the absence of Bobby. Probably it was her due turn to open shop which she wouldn’t mind would it not be for the fact she could barely move in that dress. Nevertheless, she quickly got to work, wiping the surfaces clean and placing the plastic menus on them followed by a few bowls of peanuts which Bobby always told her to keep her eyes on and not let go empty. The whole thing took less than five minutes and as she finished, she leaned against the counter watching the inside of the building. Everything was so meticulously placed, arranged in shades that matched. It was perfectly linear, symmetrical even and probably the work of a perfectionist architecture. It was peaceful when no one was around but that emptiness was soon interrupted by the door being open and in stepped the notorious Mr. Barnes.

Y/N pushed her dress straight, trying not to look professional and somewhat invisible so that he wouldn’t stare her in the eye. That tactic immediately failed as once the door shut behind him and his pristine suit, his head turned to the bar.

- What are you doing behind the bar? - his hands stood against his hips, touching the holster where a very shiny revolver laid, a warning sign not to mess with him.

- I’m opening.

- You’re waitressing today.

- I’m not a waitress. - he slightly widened his eyes, taking a step forward, grin on his face. He leaned against the counter, finger under his chin.

- You are today.

- I don’t know how to wait on people.

- You don’t know how to bartend them either now step behind that bar and go grab a tray. - he barked the orders at her but Y/N remained still. No, absolutely not, she was not going to wait around in the tightest, shortest dress created by man.

- I would rather ... I would rather not, sir. - she pulled at the front of her dress, eyes moving from his inspecting and scaring gaze.

- I didn’t ask you what you would rather. You have five seconds.

Y/N didn’t like being scolded by anyone, specially by a man like him but the shiny revolver on his hip made her act more sensibly and as such she shyly stepped behind the bar, stopping a few meters away from him. His gaze followed her legs, from her hips to her toes and he himself took a step back.

- You could’ve told me you didn’t have a dress.

- I have a dress. - she put her hands on her waist, defensively. - What do you think I am wearing?

- I was hoping you would tell me.

- Can I just bartend today, Mr. Barnes? Please.

- Absolutely not.

She wanted to argue with him, she really did, she thought she could change his mind but yet again she wasn’t stupid enough to argue with him and as such, she walked slowly to the back of the bar to grab one of the sticky metal trays. Fantastic, she went from having a counter separating her from everyone to suddenly being in the middle of them. The lights were on, the music was loud and suddenly every table was putting their hands up for her to come take their orders.

Now Y/N had done several things she wasn’t a fan of and seen even more than stomach churning evidence from her time at university but walking back and forward in the damned was officially the worse thing to have come out of her early 20s and as she leaned against the bar to cool off and take a break, someone was yelling her name for more drinks. She had officially become “Hey you” rather than Y/N. Mid shift she had decided to start hiding away from most tables, getting lost in the middle of the crowd dancing which was proving to be effective until the table she could not ignore raised their hands. James Barnes’ table. Why he was in a table surrounded by other men when he usually stood safely in his back office she didn’t know but what she did know was that whatever they were talking about was surely something her father would like to know. So, with a smile in her very tired face, she made her way towards the table.

James Barnes sat with two other men who were equally as intimidating than he was yet there was no question as to who held the most power. Holding the tray on her left hand she waited to be shouted the orders through the music.

- Hey, you’re new! - the blonde man sat to James’ left pointed at her, smile on his face which immediately dissolved whatever sort of intimidating nature used to decorate his features. - I didn’t know we had a new waitress.

- We don’t. - James corrected, not even turning to look at her. - Y/N is on the floor tonight to cover for someone. She’s usually a lousy bartender.

- Can I get a beer? The coldest one you can find, please. - the other man sat next to James asked, charming smile on. - Steve will have the same. James ...

- Glenlivet, I know. - Y/N interjected, forgetting for a second of who she was dealing with. As she remembered, she immediately walked away from the table to go grab the orders before they took her hostage.

- Two cold beers and a Glenlivet on the rocks please Bobby.

- The floor’s giving you a rough time, kid? - he placed two beers on her tray and turned around to grab the precious 1862 Glenlivet only Mr. Barnes was allowed to drink for. In Y/N’s opinion, it was a weird drink older than both her and him together yet she guessed owning old scotch made him somehow powerful.

- Dress’ giving me a rough time. - she gave him an exasperated smile before taking her tray back to the table, placing it into the centre. James still didn’t meet her eye, instead grabbing the coloured liquid and downing it as if it was water in a manner which even surprised the two men accompanying him. - Can I get you anything else?

- No, thank you. - Steve, or at least she guessed was his name, replied handing her a folded black leathered cover. Y/N took it, not ready to make any questions before returning to the bar. Once there, she opened the cover to reveal at least 300 pounds. Did they want more drinks? Did she mishear the song again as a drink order?

- Nice tip, kid. - Bobby peaked at the money she was holding. - Rogers and Wilson always tip well.

- This is a tip? I get to keep this? - she looked dumfounded at the money on her hand which was enough to pay her half the rent and she had just made in less than a minute.

- All waitresses get to keep their tips. Did you not know?

- No, I thought people wanted more drinks.

- You’re adorable, kid. If you don’t tip your waitress here, you get kicked out. Barnes doesn’t like cheapskates in his club, ruins the image.

- Oh ... I ... can you keep it while I finish my job?

- Just put it with your things.

She placed the money safely with her bag and returned to the dance floor. Surely they were gonna ask her for something, no one just gave 300 pounds as if it were nothing and didn’t expect something. Nothing is free in life, her father had told her and she whole heartily believed him yet there were 300 pounds more to her name in less than one minute so she wondered if maybe some things were for free. Nevertheless, Y/N continued with her shift plan by hiding in the middle on the dance floor and every so often peaking out to serve some tables. As she exited the dance floor, someone pulled her in and she hit what she thought was someone’s chest, hands holding her hip in place.

- Get off me. - she tried to walk forward, but she was pulled back once more. Turning around she grabbed her tray with both hands and hit whoever was holding her and trying to grind on her over the head. The man blinked slowly, hand resting on his head and she repeated her motions. - I said take your hand off me, RIGHT NOW!

- Hey, what’s wrong here? - of course. The man must have hidden mics arounds the dance floor so he can sense when someone isn’t adhering to their strict patterns of conduct.

- He was grinding on me. - Y/N kicked her way fully of the man’s embrace. She thought it’d be best to put her defence forward first before she got to be the second person to have their head smashed against the counter.

- I don’t have the time for this. Steve, get him off here. - he motioned to the blonde who came up from behind. She hanged onto her tray as if it were her life source, expecting whatever punishment was coming her way. - And you go back to the bar and stay there.

Y/N wanted to feel sorry for the poor soul who was being pulled out of the club for Steve yet all she could feel was grateful for the fact she no longer had to stay on the floor. The rest of the night was uneventful, all she could hear them talk about was some exchange yet nothing else of importance to her, or something which would create a breakthrough in the case. Soon the monotonous voice came through the speakers, warning people of the imminent end of the night.

Everyday was the same thing. She would go into the club, collect whatever breadcrumb information she could get from her father and return them to the police. Everyday she would come in, prepare the same drinks, ignore the same comments and for a month all she could get was nothing but the fact that Barnes, Wilson and Rogers constantly spoke about a trade taking place later on the year which as good as nothing but it was something strong enough to keep her undercover. Today was no different, she had come in a few hours early, it was only a mid shift and she wanted to set things the way she liked when Mr. Barnes came stumbling into the bar, holding his hand against his forehead, red liquid running down his pale hand.

- Where the fuck is Bobby? - he barked, pulling a chair with his foot to sit down.

- He’s on holiday. - she spoke calmly but her heart was beating against her ribcage like a drum as her shaking hands grabbed the first aid kit from under the bar and rushed over to him. Whoever had the guts to cause a wound to the mob boss would surely be okay with following him in and that was all she could think about. Nevertheless, she was a nurse in training, she should be calm. She wasn’t calm. - Can I see?

- Don’t you have something to do?

- Let me help, please. - her touch was soft, softer than any touch he’d ever felt as her hand laid upon his, slightly yet effortlessly pushing his hand away from the gash close to his hairline. Her lips tightened as her finger pushed some of the hair away from the wound, it wasn’t bad. It was deep but not deep enough it would require any immediate stitching, some cleaning and maybe butterfly band-aids and he’d be able to go back to intimidating people. - I’m going to clean it and then I’ll bandage the wound. It might sting, please don’t shoot me if it does.

- Is that what you think I do? - he furrowed his eyebrow, forgetting about the wound just above it as she rummaged through their first aid kit for something that would suffice in disinfecting his wound as she was sure health, safety and cleaning procedures weren’t something a mobster would consider when picking their weapon of choice. - You think I shot people just because they hurt me?

- That’s what I’ve heard. - she shrugged it off as if they were having a casual conversation, as if he had asked her if she enjoyed the weather. She heard rumours, several of them coming from Wanda, Pietro and other people she surrounded herself with and while she would’ve discredited them in any other situation, she had her father’s confirmation that one does not mess with James Barnes and comes back whole. - Big bad mob boss … it’s what they show in mobster books and movies.

- Trust me petal, if I hurt someone they’ve had it coming. - he leaned upon his own shoulder inspecting her. - Besides, I don’t do the dirty work.

- Enlighten me, then. - she loosened up. Make the patient comfortable was always rule number one as her lecturers and superiors would tell her and although the man in front of her was the furthest thing from someone who’d become comfortable with someone, what she was doing would eventually sting and she’d rather have him happy than upset. James grabbed the salt and pepper sets laying on top of the table, pulling the salt to lay in front of every other container.

- In your regular mob you have an hierarchy. - he moved the salt and pepper around in almost chess-like manner. - You have your boss, your underboss, capo, consigliere and soldiers. Soldiers do the dirty work, they do the shooting.

- What do you do then? - she cocked an eyebrow at him, drenching the cotton round in the alcohol filled liquid which always made her feel slightly sick.

- I’m the boss, petal. Your question should be what the other’s do.

- Okay, I bite. - she got closer to him, hand resting on the side of his face as she started to dab the dried and wet blood away from his wound. - What do the others do?

- The underboss is … I guess what you could call a vice-president. They make decisions but ultimately answer to me, not that Steve listens to me anyway. Your consigliere is impartial, he comes in whenever you need an impartial decision either between capos or families. Your capos are the heads of their own families and have their sort of hierarchy, they are the lieutenants and can be or not be related to the boss and finally you got your soldiers, they do the dirty work. Although, I must say that sometimes I do enjoy applying the punishment.

- So Steve’s your underboss… - she continued to clean the wound, waiting for the moment he would hiss and throw her away but he remained still, comfortable even. - Is Sam one of your soldiers?

- Sam’s a consigliere and a damned good one although he is a pain. - she went back to her sit, putting the cotton round in the bin and grabbing some bandaids. - But I know about it, why don’t you tell me about you?

- Bobby said you run a background check on everyone. I don’t think I would be much surprising. - much of her profile was real yes, but most important details have been altered so he wouldn’t suspect her or wonder why the Capitan’s daughter was applying for a position in his bar.

- What do you fear most in life?

- Why would you ask me that?

- If you know people’s fears, you’re normally in control of them. Fear controls everyone, if you control their fears, you control them.

- Do you wanna control me, Mr. Barnes? Is that it? - she had a little smile gracing her features as she bandaged both sides of the wound together.

James wondered what she was smiling about. People like to believe they’re uncontrollable or if they’re controllable that only themselves hold that people yet Y/N just seemed to mindlessly agree with that control, something which her actions forcibly went against. Nevertheless, she still had this peaceful smile on as she finished patching him up.

- You’re all ready.

- Thanks. - his voice rumbled in a tone low enough it could be considered both menacing and thankful at the same time. Nevertheless, this was probably the first time she had heard him say thanks to anyone. - What are you doing here anyway? Phoenix covers over Bobby’s shifts when he’s on holiday and you don’t start in five hours at least.

- Oh ... my flatmate is going on a date with this guy and she wants to bring him home so I have to finish early to check into the motel near campus. They said they only check in people until midnight. I asked Phoenix and he said it was okay.

- What motel near campus? The Love Locket?

- Yes, it’s close to university and I have class at 8AM so I can’t go anywhere further.

- That’s where you take your prostitute or mistress not where you spend a night.

- Thank you for the warning, I guess? - she shrugged. Of course she knew that, she would even hear some of the younger students bolster about how they brought their one night stands there but if it made Wanda happy, Y/N would sleep on the street if necessary.

- You’re not staying at the Love Locket, Y/N. You’ll get robbed or kidnapped.

- I don’t have anything precious or valuable enough to get stolen and if someone kidnapped me they would soon get bored of me. I’ve been called the human equivalent of vanilla ice cream before.

- You’re not staying there, that’s final. I’m not in the mood to hire another lousy bartender if you go missing.

- Where do you suggest I stay then? - she packed the supplies onto the small blue box, walking up to behind bar to put it back.

- Don’t you have any other friends?

- Her twin brother is keen on having company every night too and I wouldn’t want to be asked to join it or even listen to it.

- You can stay with me tonight. Next time have arrangements done.

- I’m not staying with you.

She didn’t mean for it to sound ungrateful, she would never want to be ungrateful but she also knew not to go into the house of strangers although her father would probably tell her too. How funny, normally a father would do the opposite but being in the mob boss’ house had their own perks. Surely he would keep some sort of valuables, information maybe contact numbers of bottom feeders who’d be willing to collaborate for a chance to put their boss behind bars and gain his spot. Anything. Yet Y/N’s most forceful and convincing side was telling her no. It wasn’t she was particular untrusting of him, after all he had been nothing but civil with her for the past days and would always drive her home. She guessed if he wanted to kill her, he would’ve done it already but every single day her heart weighed heavy with the thought of him discovering her lie and putting an end to her life.

- I might not know what you fear the most, but I do know what you fear.

He strolled from the table to the counter, hands buried in the pockets of his tailored trousers. Y/N looked at him through her eyelashes, hands behind her own back as he took the revolver off his holster and placed it on the counter.

- You are really afraid I’m going to kill you. Aren’t you, petal?

- It’s not an absurd fear, Mr. Barnes.

- Have you ever seen me kill someone?

- No.

- Have I ever threatened you?

- No.

- Have I put you in danger?

- No.

- Then it is an absurd fear, petal. - he slide his gun off the counter, returning it to its usual place near his hip. - Come find me after you’re done with your shift. Don’t cause any trouble.

- Yes, Mr. Barnes. - she had soon learned there was no use in saying no to him. He got his way all the time, he was used to getting his way so she wondered why she even contested him.

The shift was the same as per usual yet all she could think about what spending the night at a mob boss’ house. She had messaged her father during her break and he was ecstatic, telling her to take photos and videos and collect whatever she could find of use. In all honesty, Y/N had expected him to tell her to be safe but instead it was just a lead. She was scared, she was so scared that all of this was a veil of comfort he was casting over her to make sure she was a dumb little sheep walking into his trap. She begged for the clock to turn back as it hit 11PM and Phoenix told her it was okay to go.

She held her purse against her chest, pulling onto the leather strap as she moved through the dance floor and into the VIP area where Mr. Barnes was chatting with Steve who smiled once he saw her.

- Hey Y/N. Waiting on us tonight?

- No ... I’m just here for Mr. Barnes. - she played with the hem of her bag, cheeks hot as she thought of the implications her word might have.

- Is your shift over already? - he placed his half empty glass on the table and got up, hand holding his jacket. She nodded hesitantly, she was going to be fine, she was going to be fine. - Alright, then.

- Well, it was nice to see you, Y/N. We’ll speak about this later, Buck.

- Let’s go. - he put his hand on her back, driving her through the sea of people kissing, dancing and drinking. He wondered if that what she liked to do on her free time, if she was like the girls who came up here on the weekends and Fridays looking for a good time yet she seemed to shut everything out.

As they got deeper into the back of the club, she felt him drape something soft and warm over her. Looking to her left she recognised the fabric of her old cardigan, the one she had left in the same car she was now entering. The driver was mostly silent, Y/N mostly looking for the comfort given to her by the old garment while he kept his wild eyes on the road.

The drive was a short one, stopping at a high building of thirteen floors if the elevator was to be believed. Despite being surrounded by luxury, her eyes were gazing the gun to his hip. She knew he had other weapons, she knew he kept a knife hidden and other guns with him but this one seemed to taunt her, as if she knew she was walking into her own trap.

- Stop. - he hooked his finger under her chin, pushing her face upwards. - I don’t stain my home with blood.

- I’m sorry.

- Stop that too.

- Stop what?

- Apologising. You walk as if you’re apologising to the world for your existence. No one’s gonna take you seriously if you don’t take yourself seriously.

- It’s funny a man is asking me to stop apologising when it’s your own institution who taught me and my gender to apologise for merely existing.

- You have an edge to you. You should use more often.

- I don’t have an edge, I’m definitely not the type of person you think I am.

- You’re definitely the type of person I think you are, petal. - he strutted into his home as the lift door’s open.

It was wide, spacious, modern, in shades of white and grey. Nothing like the stuffy, old rooms she saw in movies or the drug den picture he father painted when speaking about the mob’s place of living. No, this was a modern design, with glass hardware and marbled surfaces which belonged in a cover of a design magazine. It was pristinely clean; after all, a man of his calibre could possibly hire a maid for whenever he needed to get rid of blood but blood stains and his white carpets and blankets were spotless. She wondered if she should trust his words but that thought escaped her mind as she noticed the glass set of chess laying perfectly arranged on the coffee table in the middle of two black couches.

- You play? - he asked, noticing her gaze on the board.

- My dad only had a chess board while I was growing up. I’d like to think it was my first friend.

- None of my associates play. Probably the reason why they’re associates and not the boss. - he sat in one of the couches, pointing at the other one for her to sit in.

- Do you chose a boss by their ability at playing chess?

- Play with me. - he placed both elbows on the table, hands folded under his chin.

James Barnes was a brilliant player, she had to admit and he too knew it himself. The previous boss had taught him the game, sitting him down and making him win a match against him for the chance to eventually win his spot whenever his demise came.

- You see petal, everyone thinks chess is about planning ahead. - he took another one of her white pieces, putting it on his side. - I don’t discount that, but it’s really about intimidation. You can be the best player in the world, at the end of the day if you can’t intimidate someone, you’re not gonna win.

- Do you think I’m intimidating?

- Why do you ask?

- Because ... - she moved her king placing it to the right and down of her white queen, successfully trapping the black king. - Checkmate

I'm begging for you to take my hand, wreck my plans ...

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clean-bands-dirty-stories · 4 years

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Breathe ~ Doctor (part 1)

A/n: So I had a FANTASTIC idea and had to write it. The first part is all of the experience with 9 in one part. I so hope you enjoy this introduction, and allow it to take you on a journey with me that I have been having far too much fun exploring.

Word Count: 11,000+

MASTERLIST

Rose Tyler had three people in her life that were a constant.

Her mother, first of all. The woman might be a little annoying from time to time, gossiping and being pushy and demanding and wasting money on parties and dramatics. She was a good woman though, with a large heart. She had, after all, raised Rose by herself and the girl had come out brilliantly.

Then there was Mickey. Mickey was Rose's boyfriend. He was... cool, I guess. There was definitely more to him than others cared to dig for. Even he himself didn't know his full potential, and it put a stopper on him quite a bit. He was fine enough, and obviously cared for Rose, but he tended to be a bit... distracted, and oblivious. Desperate, maybe.

Y/n sure didn't approve of him, but as Rose's best friend he had long since learned to accept the man. Y/n was very good at filling in the spaces where Mickey lacked. He was attentive and listened to Rose talk for hours. That was perhaps the biggest reason he didn't like Mickey too much. Rose complained a lot. Y/n fancied himself an artist. He and Rose had met when he'd tried to do street art to get some attention, but it was more hussle than it was worth. The best thing that came out of it was his friendship with Rose.

There was something odd about Y/n, Rose was sure. The man was usually very open and honest - unless it came to any and all talk about relationships. Rose had long since stopped asking, but others hadn't. Every time his love life was brought up, he clammed shut and got very bitey. No one was sure why, but it happened every time without fail. His reaction didn't get any more or less violent, either. No one could wear him out or get him to snap. He just got tense and irritable until you stopped talking, and then the mood was usually ruined the rest of the day.

It was a silver lining, though. Otherwise Y/n was extremely pleasant and had no problems talking about other peoples' relationships or love lives. Y/n never encouraged Rose to be single or to dump Mickey - as long as everyone was happy, you could talk about anything in your life without any back lash. Rose got along and they didn't talk about it and that was that.

Then the Doctor happened.

Rose and Y/n didn't lie to each other. They'd formed a friendship on if you didn't want something known, you didn't mention it until you were ready to talk about it with a level head. No matter what, they didn't lie. They just kept their mouths shut. So when the Doctor entered Rose Tyler's life and her mom took up the phones like usual and Mickey ran off to the bar to watch the game, Rose pulled Y/n into her room and told him everything.

"No," Y/n mumbled. It wasn't that he didn't believe her. Rose Tyler wasn't insane, and they didn't lie to each other. He knew that, logically, if she said it, it was true. That didn't stop the fact that his mind rejected what she was telling him.

"Yes!" Rose gushed, nodding eagerly. "He's got this weird screw driver, except it's got no head, just a little light at the end. And mannequins - they moved. He's the one that blew up my job."

Y/n allowed him a second to process that before responding. Rose stayed silent as well, waiting for him to speak again before she said more. "And he said his name was what?"

"The Doctor. Sounds like a mad man, huh?"

A sort of amused snort came from Y/n then. "No shit." He shook his head. "Hold on, I need air." They began to walk out when the doggy door suddenly blew in. Y/n and Rose both jumped, before Rose yelled something at her mom about not nailing the flap shut like she said she would. But when Y/n kneeled down, he picked up nails off of the ground, holding them up for Rose to see. "I think she actually did, Rosey."

The two locked eyes and then both gazes shot to the flap as it suddenly moved again. Rose went to stick her head down there but Y/n wasn't having any of that. He nudged her with his foot, grabbing the bat by the door he had insisted the Tyler's kept at the ready. Two women living alone needed some way to protect themselves. Not necessarily a man - no woman NEEDED a man, even Y/n knew that - but something. Now it came in handy as he hefted, swinging the door open as Rose scrambled to her feet behind him.

A man stood there. He wore a leather jacket and had an odd expression on his face. "Hello," Y/n greeted, unsure.

"Hello," the man responded back. He lifted a long, odd object and pressed a button, running the object down Y/n's body as if... scanning him.

It clicked in Y/n's brain far too quickly. The thing glowed at the end that was pointed at Y/n, and it made a buzzing noise. The man was weird and smiled too wide. Even the leather jacket was there. "You're the Doctor."

The Doctor's smile grew. "Normally I have to introduce myself. It's usually a bad sign when someone knows my name, but you're not made of plastic so I can't imagine what I'd have to be worried about. Are you made of plastic by chance?"

"No," Y/n answered calmly. He was processing Rose's story at hyper speed now. It only made sense that a man like this would be attached to a world where plastic came alive and tried to kill you. The night seemed bright around him. There was something odd about his presence, like seeing cartoon and live action mixing between characters and background. The Doctor didn't belong here, and it was obvious in every move he made.

The Doctor nodded. "Suppose I'll be on my way then."

"You will not," Rose spoke up, grabbing the man's arm around Y/n and pulling all of them. "I have questions and this time you WILL answer them."

That simple action changed the lives of Rose Tyler, the Doctor, and everyone they cared about so much that none of them would ever be able to go back. Honestly though, none of them would have it any other way. Except maybe Jackie.

"Doctor?" Y/n turned to the other man, who hummed without looking over. The Doctor's eyes were trained on the end of the world. As were Rose's. Y/n couldn't keep looking. Something had stuck in his head. Something that made him even more sick than the sight of an empty planet being consumed in a universe that had long since been done with it. "The woman before. She said something about your planet. Something about you being impossible."

The Doctor got a very dark look on his face then. "I suppose I am rather impossible." He shrugged, obviously trying to keep it light.

Unfortunately, Y/n's curiosity was insatiable. It was something the Doctor had come to appreciate about him. Until now, maybe. "Well, I'm the last of my kind." He paused but when Y/n's expression grew only more earnest, he shared more. There was something about Y/n that pulled at the Time Lord. Made him want to talk. Talk about things other than just science and time and language and culture and history and such. Something that made the Doctor want to talk about himself. "A very long time ago, there was a war. A war between my people, and those knows as the Daleks." He paused, getting rather somber. "We won...” he swallowed. There was an unspoken, at a cost.

Y/n found himself with more questions, but felt none of them appropriate to ask. "I'm so sorry." Rose turned then to see Y/n take the Doctor's hand. Y/n had always been affectionate, but only with people he was rather attached to. With strangers, Y/n was usually quiet and reserved. Until he was sure someone could handle his prying questions and blunt honesty that so often got him in trouble if he didn't check himself around the right people.

Perhaps it was the fact that the Doctor was a lot like that as well that Y/n had taken to him so quickly. Whether it was that or something else, Rose was glad the two men were getting along. She was also glad there was someone smarter than Y/n in the room. The boy had asked so many questions and gotten so many answers that he had quite a bit of knowledge more than normal people. He was no genius like the Doctor, nor was he hyper intelligent or anything. But he could outmatch Rose and Mickey, and they often went to him when they needed something spelled or math done that they couldn't mentally do quick enough.

Rose suddenly saw something else though. Past the similarity and the comfort and the peace the men found in each other. The Doctor looked back to Earth, and Y/n continued to look at the Doctor. It was subtle, and it wouldn't have been noticed if Rose wasn't already looking. But she had. Y/n finally looked away fully, but there was a look in his eyes that Rose had never seen before.

What was that about?

"What was that?" Rose demanded when the left the room, parting from the Doctor.

Y/n seemed taken aback. "What was what?"

Rose wasn't sure how to describe it. An odd look? A weird new air about him? There was something different when Y/n looked at the Doctor and Rose couldn't understand it. "With you and the Doctor?" She tried to clarify.

That only seemed to confuse Y/n more. "What are you talking about? Holding hands? I do that with you and Mickey all the time, and I'm not even Mickey's biggest fan."

Rose rolled her eyes so hard that Y/n almost laughed. "You looked... different."

Y/n was quiet a long time. Rose almost thought he wasn't going to say anything. That she had found something he wasn't ready to share. But then he did speak, even if it was soft. "He's different, the Doctor. Not just because he's alien, though... perhaps that is it." He sighed. "He's lonely. He's so lonely, Rose. Can't you see it? In the way he empathizes with loss and grief. The way he looks when you mention his name or his planet or the TARDIS or your family. When he was watching you watching Earth die, like he could see... something else. He told me something. Something that makes me think... he might have watched his own world be destroyed, like we did today. But it wasn't empty, and his species hadn't spread out and integrated and evolved. They just died, and left him all alone."

For a second, it was quiet. "You see it, don't you?"

A nod was all Y/n gave at first. He didn't need to say anything, but he did anyway. "He looked the way I did when I got the news back then. When I found out. He gets that exact look."

Suddenly Rose looked very sad indeed. "Well. Now you both have someone, eh?"

A small smile tugged at Y/n's lips. "Yeah, here's to that at least."

"Y/N!"

The man turned at his name, only to be tackled by the shorter blonde that had become known as his best friend. "Rose," Y/n whispered, clinging to her. "God I thought you were dead for sure. I - what happened? I lost you guys and then..." He looked sick. "There was so much light and-"

"We're all okay," the Doctor reassured. "That's what matters."

Y/n turned on the older man. "Now you listen here. That's NOT all that matters. Because she damn well could have not been and I wasn't there to protect her. Or you! What would I have done if either of you had died and I was up here sitting on my thumbs like an idiot?"

The Doctor was taken aback by Y/n's outburst. When the man turned and stormed off, Rose was the one to step up and explain. "I'm sorry, Doctor. He's rather protective of those he cares about." She bit her lip, giving the Doctor the impression there was more she wanted to say. He waited for her to speak, and after a while she did. "When he was young, Y/n saw something terrible. His childhood wasn't normal. I mean, you think life is pretty rough on most of us, but Y/n's had it worst than most."

"What happened?" The Doctor asked quietly.

Rose sighed. "His parents had always been pretty distant, but they were mostly good. They did what they needed to do and let him free when he wanted to be. But, well, they were.. angry. The fought a lot, and it didn't help that his dad was a fan of alcohol. His mum... well she was a fan of lots of things other than that, none of them good for you. One day, she came home high. She wanted something... I can't remember what. His parents fought over it until... his mum pulled a little too hard. His dad slipped and knocked his head really hard on the floor. He died. His mom panicked and..." Rose swallowed. And no further words had to be said about it. "Y/n was on the couch the entire time watching. He ran. Was on the streets for a long time doing lots of things. Working as best he could while keeping his head down until he turned eighteen and was free of the system. Found us right after that. He watched his parents destroy themselves and spent a long time alone after that because he couldn't stop the fighting." She scoffed. "His words of course. Not his fault people fight. He was only twelve."

The Doctor seemed to be thinking about something. Something that didn't seem to be sitting right with him. "Does he have any other family?"

"Loads. He used to have a very big family. No brothers or sisters, but lots of aunts and uncles and cousins and the such."

"What happened to them?" The Doctor looked at Rose, as if searching her mind for something he desperately needed.

Rose stalled a few seconds. "A lot of the same, really. Not so much murder, but... well, his parents got their habits from their families, and between that and regular life? Not as many are as strong or as resourceful as Y/n. They ran off or got addicted to something or..." She shrugged. "He lost all of them at some point."

The Doctor nodded. "I see. Well, this is settled. Let's go somewhere more fun." His tone changed but the mood didn't. Rose let it drop though. Y/n didn't mind Rose answering questions like this for people he was comfortable with. He actually preferred it, so that wasn't her worry. The Doctor had drawn a silent line though. She didn't know what it was blocking her from, but she decided to let the whole topic drop just in case.

Perhaps it was what Y/n had said about him and the Doctor being the same.

She hoped they weren't too similar. It was bad enough knowing Y/n's story, she couldn't bare another like it.

Y/n had been staring at the building that had just gone up in flames for a very long time now. Rose and the Doctor had been celebrating, but Y/n sat there quietly, on the pavement, staring at the building like he was waiting for it to undo the carnage that had been caused moments ago.

"So what's on your mind?" The Doctor had plopped down next to Y/n, smile small. He'd gotten used to Y/n's mellow mood. The boy wasn't hyper like the Doctor. He didn't get off on exploration. What drove Y/n, it seemed, was saving people. And a life like this took its tole on people who wanted to save everyone. People like Y/n. So, the Doctor had learned to check in every once in a while. Every time he did, he was never disappointed. Even when Y/n seemed to be hurting, he was never negative about it. He could accept a success. The things he did think though put the Doctor on a path that had him mulling for days. In a good way. He and Y/n got into a lot of very stimulating debates this exact way.

Today wasn't about debates for Y/n.

"I know they were going to destroy the world and stuff. I'm not sad they're dead. We won and they've been stopped and all of humanity and Earth has been saved. That's great. The way we did it was rather impressive too." He chuckled, but there was obviously more he was thinking.

"But?" The Doctor prompted.

Y/n shrugged. "Wiping out an entire family. I mean, their species isn't normally like that, are they?"

"No," The Doctor answered slowly.

A bitter sweet smile rested on Y/n's lips then. "Do you think they were raised to be like that, or is blood thirst genetic?" It was a sarcastic question, so the Doctor didn't answer. There was a moment of quiet before Y/n shook his head and sighed. "Doctor, would you prefer I didn't travel with you?"

That was not the thing the Doctor had been expecting Y/n to say next. "Why would you ever think I didn't want you along with us?"

Another moment where Y/n struggled with how to form his thoughts and feelings into words passed before the boy finally figured it out. "I like this life. I really do. I like being around you and Rose and watching you guys have your fun. But sometimes I feel like... a bit of a downer."

The Doctor chuckled. "Honestly Y/n, you're the first person in a very long who sees the truth to things. As much as we cling to our victories, you're real about them. You handle everything with complete understanding, even with your limited knowledge. You have empathy even for beings who would have killed you without even remembering your face. You have pity for monsters and you feel for species the rest of your kind would rather kill than have a civil conversation with. Rose is fun and she matches my energy and I appreciate that. But you ask the questions I've been waiting for someone to ask for centuries. Your kindness is quite refreshing. You get it."

Y/n smiled. "So you want me along?"

"I will always want you along, Y/n. As long as I can have you along," The Doctor answered without hesitation. "You're no downer, I promise."

It was that moment that something changed for Y/n. Rose saw this too, but not in the moment the two men shared now, but after. Y/n and the Doctor had unlocked something in each other in that conversation. A kind of connection where even as everyone cheered, all the pair had to do was look at each other to know that in all the sweetness around them, the other understood the slight bitterness they felt as well. As much as they wanted to end evil, they also both felt the loss of any soul they couldn't save. Taking a moment to mourn with each other seemed a relief for both of them.

It was something Rose couldn't feel. She saw things pretty straight forward. Bad people needed to have an end to them. And she wasn't wrong, but the compassion that had come to Y/n and Doctor after having their families and lives taken from them and living far too long by themselves, they had a unique ability to give a moment of silence even for enemies who were twisted by things out of their control. Who couldn't be shown the light.

They bonded over it so much that Rose felt herself being left behind.

Y/n and Rose still told each other lots and cuddled when either needed comfort. The Doctor and Rose still had lots of fun and laughed at each others jokes and had that same sense of humor that came only from adjusting to and enjoying the life they both lead. They were all friends. But Y/n and the Doctor had something else. Just a little something more. Just enough that Rose saw the change and began to think that there might be something major she didn't know about the man who called himself her best friend.

"Something's off."

Rose and the Doctor looked over at Y/n, whose eyes were slowly and carefully scanning their surroundings with narrowed eyes, as if searching for proof that his hunch was solid. "What is it?" Rose asked gently, moving closer so they didn't have to talk around the people in the crowd they had been moving through before Y/n had stopped dead.

The dynamic between the trio had very early on become clear. The Doctor was the brain, coming up with the plans. Rose was the second in command. She was stuck to the Doctor's side and they worked in tandem, being unbroken and often sliding along the same wave length. Y/n was the heart. When Rose and the Doctor got stuck on a mind path, or got distracted, or veered a little too right of what was right, Y/n was the one to shake things up to give them a new perspective, or to help either of them if they needed it. Y/n was a comfort and a friend. He was also very intuitive. Where the Doctor sought things out, and Rose seemed to stumble on information she found, information seemed to find Y/n. He just had a good gut guiding him.

So when he said something was up, at this point, he was never questioned by his companions.

"Earlier one of the girls said that people are chosen to go up to the higher floors. That there's a prize. They go up and something happens and then they never come back."

The Doctor nodded. "I was thinking about that too."

Y/n shook his head. "Did you notice that it's incredibly hot in here? I mean, why? It's obviously not ideal - it makes the people here uncomfortable. It's slight discomfort, but still. Why keep a bunch of people in a super heated room? What's on level 500, air conditioning?"

It was made to be a joke, but the comment seemed to spark something in the Doctor. "You know what, that's an excellent point." He stood straighter. "Fun's over. Where's that friend of yours, Rose?"

The blonde looked around. "He was... just behind us."

"Grand," Y/n grumbled sarcastically.

The Doctor chuckled a few times. "Took the words right out of my mouth." As he said it he looked over at Y/n, his eyes flickering to Y/n's lips. He looked away quickly and Y/n missed the moment altogether. The two continued cracking jokes toward Rose about the man both of them had been increasingly annoyed with, but Rose wasn't responding.

Because she had seen where the Doctor's eyes had landed, and her mind was working a million miles an hour to put this together. It's not that the concept of men liking men was foreign to her, just rare. One that wasn't her first thought for sure. But as Y/n and the Doctor got closer and closer on a very emotionally intimate level, Rose was noticing the building tiny moments that wouldn't mean anything alone but meant everything put together.

She smiled to herself. Rose Tyler had a plan, and not just about Satellite Five.

"You wanna talk?" Y/n offered quietly.

"Do you?" Rose shot back.

Y/n wasn't sure what to do with that. "I always want to talk with you, Rose."

The blonde jerked her body to turn and face Y/n, a determined look on her face. "You know Y/n, how about this. An exchange of honesties. For every truth you tell me, I will tell you one in return. And your truth has to equal mine, so if you want something meaningful then you have to give something like that first."

Y/n paused and then nodded. "Sounds good. Do you want me to start?”

"No, actually," Rose decided. Y/n motioned for her to go ahead, so she did. "Watching my dad die was not great, but I'm glad he wasn't alone after all. It was kind of... a relief, actually. Some closure. I got to say goodbye. I got to hold his hand." She offered a weak smile. "Now your turn."

Unsure of what Rose was aiming for, Y/n thought for a second for something he hadn't told her recently that could be as profound and unexpected as that. "This whole life of ours gives me purpose. I feel like I matter, which is something I haven't really felt until now. I know I had people who cared about me and worried about me and expected me home every night, but I always craved to make a difference and finally having that has been like a dream come true. Even though I get a little melancholic... all the time, it's just because I get stuck in my own head a lot and think too much. I actually really like what we do."

Rose nodded. Even though it had been a tad mild compared to hers, it was less what he had said and more the fact that he'd said it. Y/n struggled to communicate positive emotions, often overthinking the negative ones and voicing those because he needed second opinions and insight. Acknowledging positive things didn’t require a second opinion or input, just a congratulations, and since when did he get that just for traveling with the Doctor and finding purpose without looking like some sort of arrogant dick? It might not have been as profound as Rose's truth, but it was equally meaningful.

"I love Mickey and my mum of course, but I don't think I'll be ever to leave this life and be okay with it. I think that I might end up breaking up with Mickey because he deserves better and that thought terrifies me."

Y/n pursed his lips. "Can I just-"

"No comforting or additional thought. We can discuss later. Right now, truth. State it."

"Okay," Y/n sighed. "Uh, relationships in general terrify me." It sort of slipped out and both of them hesitated. Y/n never talked about this sort of stuff. It was the only thing he never talked about, even with Rose. She expected him to clam up but after a second, he just kept going. "I'm scared of falling in love and having my heart broken. I know some things are worth it, and people glorify love so much and I crave it, I really do, but... I've lost so much. I don't think I'd be able to handle it if I really fell for someone and then had to lose them. I'd rather make friends and family than that nonsense. It would hurt to lose them, but in a different way, and there would still be the thought that you would always be that person's friend or family if you get separated or part ways or whatever. Like we'll always be each other's friend, I think. Even if we got to a point where we couldn't be friends anymore. If I left this life behind, or one of us died or-" He sighed. "But when you break up with someone, they move on. They date other people, and do intimate things with them. They love and connect in just as intimate ways as you used to, and eventually they forget you and replace you. I couldn't handle that. I won't."

Rose let out the breath she'd been holding. She'd been too scared to breath, in case it shattered the moment she'd been waiting to happen for years now. "I understand." She took his hand. "Have you... ever been in love before?"

Y/n shook his head. "Not yet." He paused and Rose felt the weight of those words. Not yet. She could imagine Y/n clinging to his heart as the Doctor got closer and closer, his smile ever wide and his charm ever sparkling.

Rose's shoulders sagged a bit. "What will you do if it ever happens?"

"Ignore it." The words were too quick and solid. They came across as desperate. Insistent. In that moment one thing was clearer than anything else in the world. If Y/n wasn't in love with the Doctor already, he would be soon. He was falling hard, and he was falling fast, and when he landed it was going to hurt. They were suddenly both terrified about it.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!" The words were hysterical. Y/n's hands shook and his eyes were wide and his skin shone with sweat. His hair was messier than usual and his clothes were disheveled, like he'd rolled down a long hill or gotten in a fight or something.

The horror of what was happening in that moment settled over Rose and the Doctor in a truly terrible way. It was in the ringing in their ears and the horrible, bitter taste that was suddenly in their mouths. "Y/n-" the Doctor began.

"No," the man answered in a very final tone. One that let them know there was no room for question or doubt. He had been touched by the child. He had been infected, and he refused to infect any of the others.

A new friend, Jack Harkness, jogged over at the commotion. "What's happening over here?"

"Doesn't matter," Y/n answered solidly. "We need to move on."

Rose let out a sound that neared a choked sob, except she wasn't crying. She just looked to be in pain. "You- you can't! Y/n-"

Y/n took a few deep breaths. He had made the mistake. In his idiocy, he had gotten between the kid and Rose, and now he was here. The child was far back and they'd had time to get away, but Y/n had touched him and that meant only one thing. "Rose, we don't have time for this." He was near breaking down, and he begged her to see that. He couldn't spend the time before he died losing it. He had to help as much as he could. He had to make a difference. He had to-

"You know, you don't have to do anything, Y/n." Y/n and the Doctor looked at each other. His lips were parted and his eyes were desperate. He wanted to help but... he didn't know how. "You can stop. We would understand. You - you probably don't have much time left." His face crumbled, like he finally understood the meaning behind what he was saying. "You don't have to come. Spend it doing something else. Get yourself some food maybe. There's bound to be something in the TARDIS. Pick a bed, and stay there. We'll keep you comfortable after... after this."

A soft chuckle came from Y/n then. "You know, I'm going to die." The group got deathly quiet. "Maybe that's not true. I'll be alive. I'll be something worse than dead. I'll be brain dead. Forever." He shook his head, his breathing becoming shallow. "But right now, I'm still me. And I want to do something before I stop being me, Doctor. I want to do all I can. I want to do everything, but all we have time for is making sure whatever is happening to me never happens to anyone else ever again, okay? Can I spend my last moment with you?" He was looking right at the Doctor. Not at Rose, which would have made sense as they were practically siblings with the way they acted toward each other. Not even Jack, who had been having fun flirting with everyone - especially because Y/n wasn't anywhere near as hard to get as Rose or the Doctor. Y/n looked at the Doctor, and begged to die by his side, and Jack and Rose looked at each other because the need that Y/n had to steal all the time he had left to spend with the Doctor of all people... it said something Y/n was not ready to find the actual words for.

"Of course you can," the Doctor whispered.

And he did. Y/n was there as they reached the not-bomb that was actually some sort of alien ambulance. He was there when they saved Nancy and gathered the troops. And when it came time, he left too.

"Nancy, take Rose to where you cut the gate. And take this!" He tossed his sonic screwdriver at Rose and she caught it.

"I ought to go as well," Y/n spoke up.

The Doctor looked confused by that. "No I need you here. I promised you'd-"

"Doctor," Y/n interrupted. He took a shaky breath. "I can feel it coming. Soon I'm going to be one of them. Mindless, and coming after you, and you won't be able to stop me. I will kill all of you. Make you just like them." His face darkened. "Like us." He shook his head and Rose and the Doctor looked at each other, trying to find the answer in each other that neither of them had. Y/n steeled himself. "So this is goodbye."

The Doctor stood there for a few seconds. Too many seconds. He was trying to say something, but didn't seem to be able to. "Y/n?" The man answered to his name, and the men locked eyes. "Do you remember the first time we ever set out, and you told me... you told me that Rose was the most important person to you? You joked that no one would ever be that important to you, except someone who would be... special." He let air out of his nose. "You were special to me. More special than most people."

Y/n smiled, fighting tears. "You are special to me too, Doctor." He looked away. "I'm sorry our journey ended so early. I think... I think it could have been special, too."

Then there was nothing else to say, so he left with Rose and Nancy, the three of them booking it to the fence. Y/n stepped through and watched as Nancy and Rose fixed the metal so he wouldn't be able to get back in.

"Did you mean it?" Rose asked, looking at her best friend for what could very well be the last time. "That I was important to you? And that the Doctor was special enough to be just as important?"

The silence stretched for too long. Rose wasn't sure if it was painful to talk with that thing pushing its way up Y/n's throat, or if it was his human fear that kept his lips sealed, but Y/n didn't say anything for a very long time. The fence was sealed and the women stood before he finally spoke. "Do you think differently of me?" He rushed to add, "I know it's obvious. I saw the way you look between us like you expect us to lose our minds and make out right there. I see the way you and Jack looked at each other before too. Like you were watching a romance movie that had a sad ending. One you didn't expect, or think fair. I'm not as subtle as I like to think I am."

Rose scoffed. "You think I think differently of you because you're in love with the Doctor? Why? Because he's an alien?" She narrowed her eyes. "Or because he's a man?" Y/n looked away. "Y/n, you're my best friend. After all we've been through with the Doctor, you're practically my brother. I have been waiting ages now for you to admit your feelings for him. I didn't know until we started traveling, but it doesn't change the fact that you're there for me more than anyone else. You protect me and care about me. Your heart is bigger than all of the universes put together, and you bleed gold - I swear to god. You and the Doctor... you give him something I don't think anyone ever could. You understand something I can't wrap my head around. The way you mourn even the worst of us, because you see potential. The way you can do that, but still stop evil and remove yourself from harm because as much as you pity people who destroy themselves and others, you also won't tolerate their destruction. You're one of the most amazing men I've ever met, and don't think I'm just saying that because you were my first boyfriend.” It was a reference to When they’d first met; Y/n had pretended to be Rise’s boyfriend to get a creep to go away.

Both of them laughed at that, tears falling down their faces. "I remember that." Y/n slipped his hands in his pockets and the mood dropped again. "In another world, Rose, I wouldn't have ever left your side. I really do love you. And even if I am feeling... things, for the Doctor." His eyebrows came together. "You were always my first priority. I just know that he cares about you, too. He has your back, but someone needs to have his. Someone who really understands. And... you get distracted sometimes. But that's okay, because you always have my back, so we watch each other like that." His voice broke as he continued, "Had." Y/n and Rose locked eyes. "You watch him for me, alright? You two..." He laughed again. "I know you two are like me and him. I know he'll never admit it in a million years, but you two. It's subtle and quiet and innocent, but I can see it. I see it in the way he says your name, and the way you trust him. If you don't end up happy because of me I'll come back from the dead just to kick your asses."

Tears fell harder down Rose's face as she laughed again. "You're an idiot."

"Your idiot," Y/n replied without missing a beat.

Rose's expression fell. "How am I supposed to go on these journeys without you? Go back home and face my mum, who needs you around because you're the only one who'll listen to her gossip without giving her an ear load in return? Who will tell Mickey off now that I'm so different and we-" She choked on her words. "You can't go, Y/n."

"I don't want to..." His vision blurred and the pain that had been rising steadily came in full force now. Y/n leaned against the fence, bending at the middle a little bit as his other hand rose so his fingers could wrap around his throat. "I'm sorry, Rose. I- I-" He began sobbing, but stopped as it made the pain worse. "I'm- m-" He shook his head. He didn't want to hear himself say it... Then the thought occurred to him that the people might be trapped in their heads. Conscious and aware, but out of control. Would he see the face of every person he condemned to live like him? Would he sit there and see them and have to touch them anyway? Every single person until... until what? They didn't die. He wouldn't die. He would turn person after person until they were all brain dead and trapped just like him. "Rose."

"I'm here," she whispered, her voice haunted. "I'm right here, Y/n."

Y/n closed his eyes. "Run. Please - PLEASE don't see me like this. Don't see me- m- mummy-" The word forced itself out of his mouth and he whimpered, flinching upon hearing it. Rose made a sound that was half groan and half whine. This was hurting her. "Rose, Ru-" And then he looked up and locked eyes with the girl who had become his sister, and he thought of her and the Doctor before everything went black.

When he woke up again, he was somewhere new. He expected to see himself marching toward his friends, condemning them to death. He expected to see someone else about to be wrapped in his deadly clutches perhaps. But all he saw, instead, was a lot of lights and people and a blue beam with something large and cylinder in it. He saw his hands next. He reached them up to touch his face and they answered him. His face was skin. It was smooth and a little warm. There was no leather or metal. He wasn't wearing a gas mask.

"Y/N!" He turned in time to be rammed into by a smaller blonde. Her hair went into his face and he felt both panic and relief.

"You- you can't touch me. Rose what have you done?" He demanded rather harshly.

She shook her head, her body shaking as she sobbed. "You're cured, Y/n. You're all better. The Doctor - he figured it out. A brilliant man, he is. Truly brilliant."

Allowing himself a moment to process that, Y/n stayed quiet and just hugged Rose for a second. Once it did settle, though, he needed to know something. "Is the Doctor okay?"

"I'm perfectly fine." Rose and Y/n parted, turning their gazes to land on the Doctor himself. The man was grinning, his eyes light up with joy.

Y/n grinned back. "Guess you're not getting rid of me that easily, Doctor."

"Wouldn't have it any other way," the Doctor replied. He slipped his screwdriver in his pocket. "On we go, then. There's one more thing we have to do before we can celebrate." And just like that, Y/n was okay and not dead and they were all together. Things had been said that they were ignoring for now, because none of them could acknowledge them. Not yet. Right now, they had more important things.

At least that's how they reasoned it. Easier that way. Much, much easier.

"I'm sorry, we'd be sending you to your death?" Y/n demanded.

"Yes," the Slitheen responded.

The Doctor turned to face the man who looked about ready to blow a circuit. "Y/n, I know how you feel. Trust me, I do. We all do. But-"

"No buts!" Y/n argued. "She just wants to be free! Her whole family was killed and she had to run away or die with them. Can you imagine what it would be like to have to run, knowing everyone you care about would be gone? Being helpless to save them, because you messed with the wrong planet? Because you do what you always did. What you were TAUGHT to do?"

That seemed to hit a chord with the Doctor. "It doesn't matter, Y/n. It doesn't!" The Doctor shot again when Y/n went to argue. "She would have killed everyone here without a second thought. What are we supposed to do? She almost destroyed this entire planet for a bit of money, and then AGAIN just to get off of it and go somewhere else. Every single life on Earth, GONE, because she wanted a lift somewhere else."

Y/n looked away. "I can't do this one with you, then. I- I know it's necessary. I know you have to do it. I can't sit by and let you though, so I'm going to leave." He turned on Margaret then. "If you hurt him, I will destroy you, do you understand me? These people are MY family, and if you hurt them I will hunt you down and I tie you up and stick a needle in you and I will pump your body full of vinegar - do I make myself clear?"

Margaret looked scared... and a little impressed. "Yes sir." She looked to the Doctor as Y/n walked away. "You found your soulmate, eh?"

The Doctor didn't answer as far as Y/n knew. It was a relief to know that even if the Doctor had responded, Y/n hadn't been there to hear it.

He did manage to stay away a very long time. He only came back when the Earth under his feet began to crack and the lights went crazy and the sky began to glow and everything began to shake. He couldn't stay at home when things were going to wrong. When Rose and the Doctor and Jack could be dying. So Y/n raced back to the TARDIS, reaching it just as everything began to calm down. He pushed open those doors, praying that it wasn't the calm before the storm and the world was about to end.

When he opened the doors, he saw something he wasn't expecting. Te Doctor stood, Rose and Jack on either side of him, an egg in his hand. "What's that?"

Grinning, the Doctor hefted the thing as Y/n entered the TARDIS, closing the doors behind him. "This is Margaret." When Y/n was rightfully confused, the Doctor explained. He recounted the nights' adventures up until Margaret had looked into the heart of the TARDIS and had reverted to what she was now. "She told me..." The Doctor looked at Y/n with a soft look in his eyes. "She told me to tell you thank you. Before she died."

Y/n smiled to himself. "Well, she's welcome." Then he turned away. "Now, let's get her home shall we?"

"You want us to face those things with guns? There are six of us."

"Actually," The Doctor piped up. "Rose, Y/n, can you help me strip these wires? The faster we do it the sooner I can get this done."

"Uh, sure," Rose agreed, heading over to where the Doctor was crouched.

"Four of us," the woman corrected herself. Y/n hadn't caught her name yet. He made a mental note to do so when they gunned down the Daleks together later. Because he had seen something in the Doctor when he asked for help. Something that made Y/n suspicious.

"Five actually." Everyone looked at Y/n in surprise. "If we're arguing our need for time, Rose can help here and I can help keep those things from getting here for as long as possible. Maybe-" He stopped himself. "Maybe I can take down enough to make them not a threat at all." It was a joke that fell short, but one that made everyone offer at least a small smile. The Doctor went to argue, and that's when Y/n got serious. "I can't stay up here and strip wires when people are dying, Doctor. I won't."

The Doctor seemed to have pain in his eyes. "I can't stop you, can I?" He was begging Y/n. Desperately pleading for him to stay there. To do as the Doctor wanted him to.

This time, Y/n wasn't going to though. His arm was still bleeding and his other leg had a limp from his game. Y/n had looked death in the face twice now and avoided it. He figured he was on borrowed time anyway. Even if that wasn't true, Jack had saved Y/n's life. He had been the one to find Y/n and pull him out of that game right before he died. If they were all going to die anyway - or, at least, most of them - he would be by Jack's side to repay that debt. "You can't."

Once again, the Doctor and Y/n exchanged a look they both believed would be the last they shared. Ever since Y/n had been turned into one of the empty people when they met Jack, the Doctor had been significantly more protective of Y/n. Y/n was a man though and had been staying firm when he made his mind up, no matter how much the Doctor tried.

"Not at all?" The Doctor tried again.

Y/n smiled. "You know, Doctor. I've been pretty obedient until recently. I didn't stray too far or wander off, because I chose to stay behind and let you know where Rose had gone and that she was okay. Or that she wasn't. I did what you wanted me to. And then I died, and I realized that there is more important thing to life than sitting back and letting you take control just because you know more than I do. This is my choice, and I'm making it."

After a second, the Doctor nodded and Y/n took off with Jack and the others, headed to face the Daleks with a bunch of guns.

Y/n did help some. He watched each and every person on the Station die, and he ended up pressed against a wall with Jack at his side and Daleks charging the pair without hesitation. He had lost. But he had helped, even if it wasn't nearly enough to make a difference.

"Go ahead and warn the Doctor they're coming," Jack ordered. He spoke again before Y/n could argue. "I'll hold them off. I know you don't want to, but the Doctor needs warning, and I... I don't want see you die. Not again."

Pain flared in Y/n's chest then. "You're a good man, Jack."

"Thanks, but we don't have time for one of your goodbye speeches." Jack scoffed at himself. "You know, I did always want one though."

Y/n laughed, tears in his eyes. Why did he always end up here? "How about I give you a kiss on the cheek and you can return it later? I can give you that goodbye speech another day, when we have time."

Jack paused, and then nodded. "I'd like that." So Y/n kissed him on the cheek and then ran when the Daleks turned the corner, feeling his heart drop when the tell tale sign of death hit Y/n's ears in the form of Jack's scream. They'd both known this was what was going to happen. Y/n would never get that kiss, and Jack would never get that speech, but it had been nice that they'd parted holding onto that impossibility. Y/n hoped it had been what Jack was thinking when he died.

Unfortunately, Y/n didn't have much time to lament about it. "Doctor!" He ran into the room, stopping in the doorway. Y/n knew about the delta wave, and he knew what was about to happen. He knew why the Doctor had wanted Y/n and Rose to stay. Y/n had gone though, and now he was going to die with the rest of them. He wouldn't have it any other way. First, he needed to say something though. "Doctor, last time I faced death, I said something that we never talked about again. But we've had even more time together now and after all the regret I had last time, I- I can't die again without telling you-"

"I know," the Doctor said, interrupting. "I hate death confessions. I always have. It's not fair, you know. Telling me something like that and then running off and dying before I can do anything about it."

Even now, the Doctor was making jokes. Dear lord. "I came back, though. And you didn't do anything about it." Y/n huffed in amusement. "You never would have, huh?"

The Doctor swallowed. "This would always been the end, Y/n. At the best, you would have gotten older. You would have moved on. I can't... I can't."

Y/n nodded. "I know. I understand. I really do, Doctor. And with Rose too - I can't imagine that ever getting settled. But I need you to know-" But Y/n didn't get to finish his sentence, because there was that horrible sound and Y/n's scream and then everything went black. Except this time, he wasn't unconscious.

He was dead. Y/n was dead. As dead as it gets.

Death and Y/n didn't see to get along though, because only a few minutes later Y/n was gasping back to life, scrambling on the floor. He was disoriented and confused, but he saw a bright light and heard distant but familiar voices. He crawled around to get a better view without the large silver things he couldn't quite focus his vision on just yet. What he saw was Rose Tyler and the Doctor and the TARDIS. The Doctor kissed Rose and a light, far brighter than Y/n had seen anything be, traveled between the two of them and Rose fell.

"Doctor?" Y/n croaked.

The Doctor turned in surprise to see Y/n on the floor. "You were dead."

Y/n shrugged, his head spinning. "I feel... sick now. Just sick." His eyes fell to Rose. "I- Is she dead?"

"No," the Doctor reassured. "We need to go though. Come along, will you? We have lots to talk about." Y/n nodded, wobbling to his feet and then into the TARDIS as the Doctor scooped Rose up and set her on the floor of the TARDIS. He began to pilot the ship and as it set a course for what Y/n assumed was London, the Doctor turned on Y/n. He looked a little shaken. The glowing seemed to be moving under his skin, shimmering. But now it didn't seem beautiful, as it had before. It seemed wrong. Definitely dangerous. "Explain yourself."

"I... don't know."

The Doctor looked at Rose. "Ah." He looked back. "It seems I'm the one who has explaining to do." Again he glowed and the Doctor teetered, wincing in pain. "A... lot of explaining, it seems."

Y/n, worried and very confused and a little terrified, nodded. "Get on with it then. We don't have all day."

"Well... I don't," The Doctor agreed. "But I will. Or... you will, with someone else."

Y/n's breathing got heavier. "Doctor-"

"Y/n," the Doctor interrupted, moving close and taking Y/n's face between his hands. "Beautiful, empathetic, caring, protective Y/n. You've gotten your goodbye speeches, let me have mine."

And then the Doctor kissed Y/n, just like he had Rose. Except there was no light or glow, just a kiss. When they parted, it was because the Doctor groaned in pain. A pain that seemed to be growing. "Doctor?" Y/n rushed, scrambling to help the man stand.

The Doctor didn't ever get to say he loved Y/n back, but that kiss had said enough. It didn't really matter though, because it was then that Rose woke up. Then that everything would change forever. Not too much, but plenty enough. The Doctor changed. Changed into someone more controlled and reserved. Someone who couldn't express emotions as well as he could before. Y/n had changed too, though he didn't know that yet. He had changed into someone the Doctor couldn't accept.

To say, things were about to get really fucking complicated.

"He says that the yellow girl and her companion have the blue box, so they are the only ones able to speak for this planet."

"You can't," Harriet Jones, now Prime Minister, insisted.

"Someone has to be the Doctor," Rose began.

Whatever she was going to say was cut off by Y/n stepping forward though. No one questioned it. This entire time, Y/n had been the one who had seemed to have any idea on what to do. He didn't have much more a grip than Rose did, but what he did have was just enough that everyone seemed to naturally be stepping back to give him the reigns in the Doctor's place. Y/n stepped up and faced an alien race he had no idea how to defeat with no fear on his face. Maybe it was that the man had died twice now, or that his friends were in danger and nothing made Y/n more hostile than facing down people who threatened his friends. Y/n was different than the boy that had agreed to come along on a journey of a life time to make sure Rose was safe. Not so different that he didn't have mercy, but different enough that he not only didn't tolerate people who were willing to harm others, but he was willing to destroy them for the greater good. To protect those who could not protect themselves. That didn't stop him from pitying wasted life, but it did stop him from hesitating.

"Why do you want to kill humans?" Y/n demanded. The Sycorax leader faced Y/n down, but Y/n didn't step back even a little bit. He said something to Y/n, and the agents by Harriet translated.

"He says humans are simple and meaningless. They need to be conquered. They-"

"Now you stop right there," Y/n interrupted. Everyone behind Y/n and everyone in the crowd seemed to react to that. The people in fear, and the crowd in anger. It seemed no one liked that Y/n had interrupted the alien leader that was perfectly capable of killing. But Y/n didn't care about that. He needed to think, and he needed time to do that, and he was absolutely not about to let this monster conquer his planet without fighting back. He didn't know much or think as fast as the Doctor, but he could figure it out. He could figure SOMETHING out. Because he had to. "This planet isn't filled with a bunch of idiots. We may have a few bad eggs. We may make choices that are so incredibly daft, but we're incredible as well. We learn and grow and continue without being stopped. We defy death, even. We defy logic and reason. We're harder to wipe out than a hoard of roaches. We stick around and fight back. You can try your hardest to pin us under your thumb, or kill us off when we refuse, but it'll never be over and even if you do win this battle. Even if you do take this planet now. We will come back in such force that you will wish you had never made the mistake of messing with us. And it may not be now. It may not be in a decade, or several, or even a century. But it will happen, as it always does. And when it does happen, you will fear us."

"You want to be big? Then I will show you how small you are." Too late they all realized the Sycorax had spoken in English. Too late, because he flicked his staff and like a whip, a coil of electricity shot out and attached to Y/n's chest. He screamed and fell to a knee and his friends screamed behind him, but when the electricity left, Y/n was... fine.

Chaos erupted from the crowd. Y/n stood slowly, even his friends behind him whispering in chatter that sounded... fearful. What had just happened?

"SILENCE!" The Sycorax screamed. The crowd begrudgingly went hush, but a small voice from behind Y/n spoke up still.

"You should be dead. I watched him kill them with that- that- staff. You should be dead."

"And I'm not," Y/n brought up rather pointlessly. He sounded far more calm than he meant to though, so there was that.

The Sycorax leader stumbled back in obvious fear. Y/n stood taller. "That's impossible."

"It should be," A voice that was growing familiar spoke up. The small crowd behind Y/n parted and there stood the new man who was the Doctor but also wasn't. That man strutted forward, an expression on his face that was sort of bitter sweet, but leaning more bitter. "It doesn't sit well with me either, if I'm honest."

"Took you long enough," Y/n mumbled under his breath.

"Better late than never," the man shot back. And that was when Y/n saw the Doctor. If a bit more rude and quicker to respond... still the Doctor.

Long story short, the Doctor handled things as he always did. After Y/n's show of immunity to the Sycorax's one hit kill staff, there wasn't much work to do. There was calling the bluff of what turned out to be blood control, which couldn't go as far as the Sycorax said it could. And then there was the sword fight that was brought about by some law or another, but also threatened to happen because if the Sycorax leader didn't agree, the Doctor would "release" Y/n on him. It ended with the Doctor victorious, and Sycorax ship sailing off as the humans left all returned to the ground with the TARDIS.

Then, as they were running away, Harriet Jones shot them down with a beam from a group she called Torchwood, and killed them while their backs were turned.

"HOW COULD YOU DO THAT?" Y/n roared, rushing to the smaller woman. Harriet was suddenly shaking, faced with a man who seemed to be repelling death like it was a light cold and he had work to get to. "They were running away!"

"They could come back," she insisted rather quietly.

"They couldn't," The Doctor argued, standing just behind Y/n, at his side. "The fight - it was agreed. I won, Earth is free from them."

Harriet scoffed. "He attacked you the second you turned your back, and his people will surely do the same." Y/n flared but Harriet seemed to find her courage then. "You weren't there, Doctor. And you will not always be there. Y/n did a very good job of taking your place, but he won't always be here either. One day we will be faced with an enemy we cannot take down with a simple sword fight, and you may not be there to help."

"I should have told them to run from the monster," The Doctor sneered. "I should have told them to run as far and as fast as they could, because the real monster was sitting there, waiting for the moment to strike."

Harriet solidified herself. "I was there when that staff killed two good men. Right in front of me, and I could do nothing to stop it. I won't be helpless ever again. I have people to protect."

There was quiet for a moment, and then the Doctor stepped in front of Y/n, who had been stunned by such stupidity and selfishness that he was struck dumb. "You know, humans are so simple. I can end you entire career without lifting a single finger. I could do it without much trouble. Without even lifting one finger, all your hard work. Gone."

"Stop it," Harriet demanded, that fear from before returning.

"Six words," the Doctor stated calmly.

"Stop," Harriet hissed, coming undone by his terrifying calm.

"Just six words." And then he moved... but not to Harriet. He moved to the last man left that seemed to work with Harriet, and he leaned close and whispered something in the man's ear. Then he leaned away and turned around and walked away, hands in his pockets and face empty of regret or emotion in general. Harriet panicked behind them, begging the Doctor and the man the Doctor had spoken to tell her something. Anything. But she never got her answer.

Not in the way she wanted.

When they were away from her, Y/n rounded on the Doctor. "I'm still alive, and she said I shouldn't be."

The Doctor sighed. "When Rose looked into the heart of the TARDIS, she... brought you back. Honestly, I knew, and I saw, but I was in shock and in pain because I was dying and I was too scared to leave you behind. Far, far more scared of losing you than I was of what you had become."

Y/n looked as if he'd been slapped. "What do you mean, what I've become? You don't want me anymore?"

"That's the thing isn't it?" The Doctor sighed. "Rose doesn't even know. She forgot everything. And you weren't alive to see it. To get back to me, to us, she looked into the heart of the TARDIS. Like when Margaret became an egg. She looked and she gained immeasurable power. Power over time and space, completely. Over life, even. All she had to do was set your existence through out all time and space, and you're alive. But she didn't know how to hone it, so now you'll... probably always be alive. You can't die, I'd reckon."

"At all?" Y/n squeaked.

The Doctor shrugged. "There's no knowing for sure unless we test it, but if back there means anything, I'd say that no, you can't die. I'd even bet you can't age."

Y/n let out a breath. "So I'll be this age, alive, forever?"

"I'd say so," the Doctor confirmed. There was a moment of silence. "I feel guilty."

"Why?" Y/n asked, looking up from where his eyes had dropped.

A soft sigh escaped the Doctor then. "I'm glad of it." Y/n rose a questioning eyebrow, and the Doctor continued. "I've never been able to be really with someone before. I knew they'd go eventually. They die or move on or grow too old for this life, or get torn up by the life style or they're stolen from me. You... you're different, though. Humans age and get old, but I regenerate. I mean, a relationship like that would be one sided. Eventually I'd be alone again. But you don't age, or die, and I'm sitting here in a predicament where I just so happen to be in love with you." He released a breath, as if the words had been weighing him down. "It's so much easier to say that knowing I may actually not lose you."

Slowly, a smile rose to Y/n's face. "Well, if you don't already know I love you too I might have to kick your ass right here and now."

The Doctor released a shaky sort of laugh. After a second, he looked away, his smile fading. "Y/n, there's something you need to know about me."

Y/n sucked in a breath and released it again sharply, his hands fidgeting. "What about?"

"I've had a lot of companions, and I have lost every single one. Rose and you aren't the first, even though you two are... different." He shook his head. "But I had something real before this life. I had a family. I was a father. A husband. I had a life. And it was all taken from me."

For a second, Y/n didn't seem to know what to say. But then he found it, and whispered very gently, "Doctor, I'm weird. I don't... I don't fall in love, really. It's unusual for me to do so. I've only ever fancied one person other than you. I've never taken much to romance and it's never seemed important to me. Like you, the first person I felt like this for... they understood this feeling too. Their father died in a war and mother in childbirth and they spent their whole life being passed from person to person and never having a family or a home. This isn't my first time, though I will say that it is my second. I do know one thing though. If you need time to work this out. If you need something I can't fill... What I mean to say is, I'm happy when you're happy. I'm not asking you to marry me, or start a family with me or whatever. I'm not asking for an immediate serious relationship. Just because we feel the way we do about each other doesn't mean we have to limit ourselves to those feelings. I know you've felt love like this many times, and I know that... you may feel it again in the future, or even now." He shrugged it away. "I know this is going to take time. But I want you to know that I'm not going anywhere. Ever, it seems. That you can count on. Everything else... As long as you come back to me at the end of the day, I don't care about everything else."

And then the Doctor did something splendid. He kissed Y/n. And Y/n did something even greater. He kissed back.

It was a great kiss. One of many. Because this journey? It had only just begun!

Male readers: @sheepfather

#dr who #ninth doctor #tenth doctor #dr who imagine #dr who x reader #dr who x male reader #ninth doctor imagine #ninth doctor x male reader #ninth doctor x reader #tenth doctor imagine #tenth doctor x reader #tenth doctor x male reader #male reader #dr who fanfic #dr who angst

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starr-fall-knight-rise · 4 years

Text

Humans are Space Orcs, “Reunited.”

Just tying up some loose ends, also see the post I made right before this about a stupid story that happened to me while writing this. It is kind of funny :)

The day was hot, very hot, and the sun beat down on fort harmony with merciless intent. Over the tarmac, the sweltering heat caused little mirrages, as puddles of water to appear and then vanish down the runway.

The heat was oppressive enough that no birds sang, and even the roaring of the engines had been dulled by a day that none of the en were willing to venture out of the air cooled airplane hangers.

Only one figure remained outside staring up at the blue sky and the oppressive sun beaming down upon her.

Waffles limped over the hot pavement, the tarmac burning the delicate pads of her feet, but if she stopped walking it would only hurt even more.

Her tail drooped towards the ground,

It was so hot.

She made it across the tarmac and down to the little shaded area where someone had set up a discarded cardboard box and a bowl of water.

Her feet continued to ache, and she licked at them with her long, pink, tongue though that only brought momentary relief from the burns.

Across the tarmac two men watched her form the open hanger door. It wasn’t that they hadn’t tried to get her to come inside, they had, it was just that she wouldn't, and no amount of cajoling or bribing her had worked. THey felt bad of course, but there was nothing much else they could do.

One of the men felt bad enough to brave the heat and bring over a bag of ice which he pressed onto her paws for a time before having to return to his work.

Waffles laid her head down and closed her eyes ears drooping.

So hot

Overhead an engine sounded. It was a familiar noise by now,and only one of her eyes cracked open to watch the shuttle descend from the sky and come to land on the scouring earth. She closed her eyes again, listening to the distant sounds as the shuttle doors open, and human voices swelled up around her.

It was then that she was hit with the smell.

IThe heat washed over her face and straight up into her nose with a smell she had been waiting for for months now.

She shot to her feet ears up nose lifted.

Her tail began to wag

And despite the heat of the burning tarmac, she raced across the open space yipping and barking and whining for all she was worth

***

Adam stepped out of the shuttle into a sheer wall of heat. It was like being punched in the face by the sun. The borrowed flight suit he now wore was immediately sweltering and he fanned himself with one hand already beginning to pant.

Behind him Sunny and the other stepped down onto the tarmac.

Sunny Immediately yelped and sprung back into the shuttle

Adam couldn’t help but laugh, but that was when a high pitched whining noise reached his ears. A whining barking, yipping noise that immediately had him turning towards the sound eyes wide.

It started out as a small shape barely distinguishable from the sand and grass to the side of the tarmac, and then, as it raced towards him it coalesced into a furry bullet.

“Watffles!” He shouted, taking a few steps down from the ramp as she raced up, and leaped into the air.

He caught her mid arc staggering back a few steps as she attacked his face was the kind of love that could only be bestowed by man's best friend. She whined and whimpered and her tail wagged and her body wriggled so hard he had a tough time holding onto her.

“Hey pretty girl!”

Wavvles whimpered and barked some more licking his face and the side of his head repeatedly to the point where his hair was damp.

He laughed and held her to his chest, her tail thudding against his side and back.

She didn’t seem very inclined to get down, and the Tarmac was so hot he worried about her paws burning. So instead he held her like a large baby in his arms, and once she was finally done licking his face, she rested her head against his neck and chest nuzzling every now and against at his chin just to remind him she was there.

Not that he could forget an 80 lb German Shepherd.

Behind him the others were laughing and awing.

Ramirez had videoed the whole thing, and continued to video as they made their way across the tarmac and too one of the hangers. Waffles didn’t seem to have any intention of getting down.

Finally they stepped into the hanger, and reluctantly he set her back on the floor, though she insisted on sitting on his feet every time he came to a stop.

Across the room there was a clamouring of voices, and A group of at least five people came charging across the room.

His family hugged him so hard, he thought he was going to crack a rib, and he laughed right along with them as they stammered out nar incoherent sentences.

Eventually his mother pulled back wiping her eyes on hand resting on his cheek the other on his shoulder, “Boy, you need a shave.”

He smiled, “Yeah, can't say there are many razors in a wormhole.”

“I knew it, I knew it. Our baby brother is invincible.” David announced, slapping him on the back so hard he nearly stumbled forward.

Waffles looked up at him her tial thudding against the floor, her tongue lolling form her mouth

“Where were you!”

“Not sure if I am allowed to say just yet, but i'll tell you when I know what I am allowed to say. Let's just start by saying that it wasn’t pleasant, but it’s a great story, ad it involves miraculous escape planned and executed by yours truly in a fantastic manor.”

HIs mother sighed, “At least you came back wit hall your body parts in tact this time.”

She turned her head to look down and smiled, “Dr. Krill we are so glad you made it back too. We were devastated to hear that you had gone missing as well.”

The doctors saved a polite hand, “No matter.”

She gave him a very light hug anyway, careful to avoid crushing him or something, which he seemed to enjoy despite himself.

Thomas crossed his arms, “Hey, is anyone gonna thank me for bringing him back in one piece?”

Martha sighed and grabbed him up in a hug, “Thank you for bringing yourself home in one piece.” She pulled back, “ How was the war.”

HE grinned, “It was awesome, we mounted a revolution.”

She shook her head, “I can’t take you anywhere because you're either discovering extraterrestrial life or overthrowing corrupt governments.”

Thomas grinned, “Plus I think this has finally made me realize what I want to do with my life.”

Adam smiled as he watched his brother, this was arguably the happiest he had ever seen thomas: who was known for his sullen nature and moodiness. Life hadn’t been easy on him, and he had jumped and bounced from one thing to another in between relapses.

“Oh, and what is that?”

He motioned back to where the rest of the group was standing, “Well I was talking to Ramirez and Maverick and I…. I think joining the marines would be good for me.” He got a slap on the back from their father, who seemed more than pleased with the idea.

Martha assigned, “Of course I should have seen that coming.” She smile, “I am proud of you. Just try not to overthrown anymore empires while you’re at it.”

He grinned, “No promises.

Adam got hugged a few more times after that seeing as no one was really willing to believe that he was alive.

Even the men he didn’t know from around base stopped by to shake his hand and tell him how glad they were that he was back.

The UNSC sorely missed him.

At some point Krill insisted on doctoring him, and dragged him back into the medical bay where he did all he docterly things, blood pressure temperature pulse. Sunny stood in the corner with both sets of arms crossed over her chest.

He might have asked her to wait in the hall, but he had a feeling that that request wouldn’t go down so well, so he let it go.

Krill examined the three large gashes on his chest and where they had healed over into large, livid puckered red scars.

“Hmm, I could probably fix this. WIth a consultation from a plastic surgeon.” He muttered

Adam waved him off, ‘It’s alright Krill, I think they look kind of badass, sort of a tarzan king of the jungle sort of vibe.”

Krill glowered at him, “Well one of these days you are just going to have to pick ONE vibe, because space cyborg pirate Tarzan is getting to be a bit of a mouthful.”

Adam laughed.

Sunny harumphed glowering angrily at the new scars.

Krill turned to look down at the ones on his upper forearms, which hadn’t scarred up yet, but where still in the process of being scabbed over, “And what are these.”

“Er…. I had to get the attention of the keepers, and that was the only way to do it without them heightening security on me.”

Sunny’s fists clenched even further.

Krill flipped over his hand, which was still raw and red, “Let me guess”

Adam shrugged sheepishly, “Well you know how it is.”

He turned his head to look at Sunny and quickly looked away as her stare bored a hole in his forehead.

At the end of the medical bay, the door slid open and a soldier stepped inside hurrying over to offer him a set of ACUs and a pair of boots, “These should fit sir, the brass will be here in half and hour, and will meet with you in the war room… I… mean the conference room !A.” He turned on his heels and walked out, big boots clomping on the tile as he went.

Adam changed quickly and managed to hunt down a razor in enough time to get a quick shave in before meeting with his superiors. He didn’t understand why other men wanted a beard so much, it was really nothing to be happy about, and it made his face itch. Felt so much better when the thing was finally gone and he was free.

Sunny was a little miffed when she had to wait out in the hall as he and waffles stepped into the conference room, which he could immediately see why they called the warm room. It was less like a conference room and more like mission control. The room was large, lined on all sides with massive monitors which cast pale blue light down onto the large, elongated table with its holographic touch screen.

As soon as he walked in an entire room of officers stood from their seats.

“Commander!”

“Its good to see you, son.”

“We thought you were dead.”

“Earth is going to be happy to hear you’re alive.” He smiled and greeted the others with a firm handshake despite how tired he was, “It takes more than a wormhole to take a human out.” He said taking the seat offered to him near the head of the table.

Admiral Kelly had broken from her usual serious demeanor into a smile, “We are glad to have you back, Commandr. A lot has happened since you left.”

“Can I get a quick summary?”

“Well we learned that the balck hole, or I suppose wormhole now that we know, was created in part by the burg working with the voiceless kree. The voiceless have long been in conflict with the voiced and allied with the burg to turn our ire against the voiced. However, they pose no significant threat without burg technology and so we focused mostly on the burg. Your ship was of course, in pieces, but nearly all you crew survived as they were picked up by other ships in the near vicinity. You were pronounced MIA as was Dr. Krill. ONly three on your ship didn’t make it, and one of our ships was permanently crippled with over 50 casualties and 100 additional injuries.”

HE grimaced, but held back on the guilt for a moment.

“After that battle, the GA came to council, and war was declared on the burg. We sent in the GA armada and over 1000 shock troopers on to the face of the planet. While there a small team comprised mostly of your old crew discovered that the burg king was being imprisoned in a cavern below the throne room and allied with him to replace the queen with a successor.”

He had heard that part of the story , but it didn’t cease to amaze him.”

“Beyond that it was actually quite simple.”

“And my ship?”

“We will get to that in a moment, commander, but now its your turn.”

He nodded and sighed hand to his head, “Where to begin. Of course you know I initiated the shatter protocol when it seemed there was no possible escape for my crew. I stayed behind to initiate assuming, like you, it was a black hole. However, when I didn’t die and was shot out to some unknown location, it appeared as if it was a wormhole instead. I managed to crashland the command deck on the planet below, which was habitable. It was an alien world, but seemed rather…. Jurassic…. In nature. I managed to salvage the emergency kits from under one of the crew seats and survived for a week or two on the beach well fed and warm, however,while I was out in an attempt to boost a radio signal, I ran into some sort of alien creature which attacked me. The wounds I received were pretty bad, but I managed to kill it. I was losing blood fast and probably wouldnt have survived if the Omnidroids-”

“Wait, I’m sorry, the WHAT!”

“Sorry, sir, The omnidroids are what I nicknamed them because they look like something form an old movie. Think large ball with five big stumpy legs and a tiny head on toop.”

They nodded and he continued.

“Anyway, I ran into a group of them, and they helped with my sounds. I couldn’t understand them, and I am pretty sure their speech is in a much lower register because it was like listening to whales talk. Anyway, they brought me aboard one of their ships, and kept me there for a day or two. When we landed I was let out into an enclosure of some sort, turned out to be some kind of alien zoo.”

They stared at him.

He stared back.

“Your kidding?”

“No time for joking, commander.”

He shook his head, “I am not joking. I am serious, the enclosure that I was in had perfect temperature plenty of water and lots of food, but I could see other alien creatures outside the window and above me, just looking at me. Drones came in every now and again to feed me or clean the pen.”

They staired in silent awe.

“Anyway, from there I concluded it was likely they didn’t know I was sentient, so I determined that escape was possible if I let them think that. I started trying to figure out if I was being watched, and their response time if i was. Once tht was done I picked an appropriate time to escape, and used the iron eye armor I still had one from meeting with the Kree and pried open the bars before setting all of the other creatures loose. I found Dr. Krill on my way out, and we hijacked a shuttle.”

“How did you know how to get back?”

He shook his head, “I didn’t. But that was when the space dragon showed up.”

They stared at him again.

He held up his hands, “ I swear I am not making any of this up. That is exactly what happened It created some sort of wormhole and I ended up in the middle of a burg battle in space.”

“So there is an entire alien society separate from the one we already have.”

“It seems so?”

“And the shuttle?”

“It was handed over to GA scientists for examination and potentially reverse engineering.”

They nodded.

He waited for them to say anything else before.

“So…. my crew is safe but my ship?”

They shook their heads, “Is gone,” THey held up a hand to cut him off, “However it was actually a stroke of good fortune as we have been building new ships for the fleet over the past few years, and one of them was close to completion. So, using the scraps leftover from your ship we were able to finish the job.” They leaned forward, “Commander, despite any issues we have had with your commanding in the past, we have determined that to judge you by the standards of the old military was a faux pax on our part. Space is new, and requires something from men that it hasn’t required before.”

He waited to see where this was going.

“The new armada will be nearly five times the size of the old. The captains as they are now will be promoted to fleet commanders and will be over their own unit of ships. The ship that the harbinger was recycled to make, is twice as big as your old ship with room for over 1000 crew members. It has the latest in alien and human technology and is the most advanced space vessel humanity has ever seen.”

It was an important reminder at this point not to pee himself out of excitement, so he kept his face stony, though he wanted nothing more than to jump around like a little girl squealing.

“However, since the captains would be promoted to fleet commander, that means that you will have to be promoted against as well.”

He paused.

“I… but I haven't been commander for all that long.”

“The UNSC fleet is growing at a rapid rate, and to keep up with it, we are going to have to adapt rapidly as well.”

“So, commander, do you accept?”

He paused and looked down at his hands, “I’m not moving to a desk job, sir.”

“No, no you won't. But you will be commanding a larger ship and thousands more people. Do you think you can handle that? He paused again looking down at his hands thoughtfully.

“Yes, I think I can.”

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notes-from-sarah · 4 years

Text

Take My Hand (Take My Whole Life Too)

Link on Archive of Our Own

Link on Fanfiction.net

Rating: G/K

Summary: “Never let somebody pin you down.” this is Kanan’s personal philosophy, but sometimes someone comes along and you realize being grounded isn’t that bad after all. Kanan/Hera. Set pre-Star Wars: Rebels. One-shot. Canon compliant. A Valentine’s Day fic.

Kanan paced back and forth in the cargo bay, Chopper bumping along at his heels. He stroked the small patch of hair on his chin thoughtfully and tried to suppress a curse each time he turned around and almost tripped over Chop. The droid didn't try to suppress its curses and let Kanan know what it thought every time he accidentally kicked the robot. It aggravated Kanan because he was here trying to figure out a solution to his problem, and Chopper was constantly distracting him.

It had taken him a lot longer to figure out than it probably should have, but he didn't have a lot of experience in this area. He'd known he liked Hera from the get-go, after all she was smart, confident and brave. It was when it went from just liking her to feeling a lot more that things started to get complicated. He didn't know what to do.

A person with a more conventional background might just talk to her, make his feelings known and let the chips fall where they may. Kanan was absolutely not going to do that. Actually, he didn't want to feel this way at all – for a lot of reasons.

If he admitted that he was in love with Hera it could jeopardize their friendship and their work relationship. He could imagine how awkward it would be if she didn't feel similarly, and he wasn't sure that she did.

If he admitted that he was in love with Hera she might say that she loved him too. And what then? He'd made it a habit in his life to not stay one place for too long. To not get stuck anywhere. To keep free and keep moving. Being in love kept you tied down and he couldn't afford to be trapped.

If he admitted that he was in love with Hera that would mean that he really had abandoned the Order. He really was no longer a Jedi if he loved her. Love was an attachment, and attachments were dangerous, wasn't that what he was always taught? Jedi didn't have attachments, but loving Hera meant he did. Meant he wasn't really a Jedi anymore. He didn't know if he was ready for that.

Maybe it would be better if he just pretended everything was normal. He could do that.

Hera appeared at the top of the ladder to the cargo bay. "Kanan, can you help me out in the cockpit for a second?"

"Sure," said Kanan as he tripped over Chopper for what seemed like the tenth time. Giving the droid a glare he climbed the ladder and followed Hera into the cockpit.

Hera pointed to the panels behind the second row of seats. These covered Ghost's computers and shield array. "I need to get into those panels, our shields took a beating in our last adventure and I'm pretty sure there's been some carbon scoring in there. I want to get it cleaned up, but I need you to climb up there," she pointed to the top of the panel where a variety of switches and levers were displayed, "and disconnect the power supply."

Kanan nodded. "Got it." Clambering up the back of the second seat he balanced there awkwardly and popped open the panel. Glancing around he found the fuse that controlled the power supply to the array Hera wanted to clean and unhooked it. "There you go." He held the fuse between his fingers, he might as well stay up here since he was going to have to put it back in just a minute.

Hera looked up at him and smiled appreciatively. "You're much better at this than Chop. Last time he pulled out half the wrong fuses and I ended up rewiring everything for the next week." Hera leaned forward and began unscrewing various plates so she could access the array and its related parts.

"You know me," said Kanan, "way more helpful than a droid." The moment he said it he regretted it. It sounded so dumb.

"Sure are," said Hera as she found what she was looking for. Taking a small wire brush she attacked the scoring with some special cleaning fluid.

Kanan grimaced. At least she didn't seem to mind his incredibly stupid remark. It wasn't even funny.

"You know, sometimes I don't know what I'd do without you," Hera continued, still focused on her task. "You've really made a big difference."

Kanan looked down at her, his face unexpectedly burning. "I have?"

"Of course." Hera looked up at him. Her fantastic green eyes sending a jolt of warmth through him. "We do a lot of good work together, it wouldn't be possible without you."

"Yeah, of course, our work." Kanan was trying to ignore the fluttering sensation in his chest.

Hera gave him a swift smile then went back to her scrubbing. "We've done so much more together then we ever could have apart."

"Yeah, it's been great." Kanan nodded. She was only talking about what they did, not them. He needed to stop being so silly.

"I'm glad you like it," said Hera as she pocketed her wire brush and pulled a cleaning cloth from her jumpsuit. Wiping the cloth over the scrubbed areas she removed all the excess cleaning fluid. "When we first met I wasn't so sure about you. I didn't know if you'd stick around."

When they'd first met, Kanan hadn't known if he'd stick around either. There were times that he still didn't know. Sometimes he'd think to himself I can leave any time I want. "Really?" was all he said.

Hera folded the cloth so the dirty part was on the inside and tucked it back into her pocket. Picking up her screwdriver again she went about refastening the panel. "Really. You seemed like a drifter, I didn't know how long you'd want to drift in my direction."

Trying to sound casual he said, "Well I like your direction." Another stupid remark. Apparently his tongue was intent on sabotaging him today.

Hera looked up at him, seemingly immune to his idiotic comments. "Do you?"

Kanan tried to make it better. "I mean, your direction is a nice one to drift in." He internally cringed. "It's got a nice view," he added. That was even worse. Maybe he should just shut up.

Hera raised an eyebrow. "And what does the view look like?"

He tried he best to salvage the situation. "Nothing."

"Nothing?" Hera sounded somewhere between slightly insulted and amused.

"Well, not nothing," Kanan rubbed his hand over the back of his neck. "I suppose it's really nice," Kanan said before rushing to add, "not that I'm looking." This was going from bad to worse faster than he could keep track of. "What I really mean to say is-"

Hera suppressed a smile. "Kanan," she said as she reached out and put a hand on his leg, "I-"

Her words were cut short. Kanan had not been expecting physical contact like that and had panicked. In an attempt to move back from her touch he jerked his leg off the seat altogether and lost his balance. Vainly, he grabbed hold of the panel underneath the one he'd just opened, but it gave way instantly. Kanan, still holding tight to the fuse he'd just detached, tumbled down from his perch in an undignified heap. Electricity sparked and the smell of burning plastic filled the room.

Hera had managed to jump clear of the small disaster. "Kanan!" she said, clambering over the seat Kanan had just fallen from. "Are you alright?"

Kanan sat up rubbing his head. If he'd thought he was embarrassed before it was nothing compared to how he felt now. "I'm okay." Looking over the damage he'd caused he sucked in a breath. "Sorry about that."

Hera looked at the mess herself. Half of another panel had been dislodged and a spill of wires were protruding. "We'll just have to spend tomorrow fixing it." Looking back to Kanan she held out a hand. "That fall did a number on your head, we should get you cleaned up." Just then the panel let out another spark and a small fire began in the midst of the wires.

Shouting something about saving the day, Chopper rushed forward to spray the broken wires with its fire extinguisher, rolling over Kanan's hand in the process.

Kanan shot the droid a dirty look and shook his crushed fingers. Gingerly dabbed his forehead and temple area, he felt the familiar trickle of blood from a laceration. Great. Why was he such an idiot. Taking Hera's hand she pulled him to his feet.

Hera took him to sit at the table and sent Chopper for the medical kit. "I didn't mean to scare you like that." Taking a clean, damp cloth she washed the blood and dirt from his forehead.

"Scare me? You didn't scare me," Kanan said without thinking.

"Then why did you jump like that?" Hera stood back from him, a quizzical expression on her face. Chopper returned with the medical kit and waved it around as if he'd done something heroic. Hera accepted the med kit from Chopper and opened it on the table.

"Oh, uh," Kanan's mind raced to come up with something less stupid than I didn't expect you to touch me and I panicked. "There was a spark of static electricity and it took me off guard." He knew it was a lame excuse, if there'd been static electricity wouldn't she have felt it as well? Shouldn't he have just said it was a spark from the wire he was holding?

Hera looked up from the med kit. "Oh, okay, I guess I just didn't feel it then." Hera leaned back over him and began dabbing a bacta paste on his wound.

Kanan breathed a sigh of relief, then gave a small yelp as the paste started to go to work. It had a warm stinging sensation that he hadn't been entirely prepared for. He had been completely preoccupied by Hera's proximity and forgot what she was doing.

"Sorry," said Hera as she finished patching up his head. "There, good as new."

"Thanks," said Kanan. He felt like the biggest fool in the galaxy right now.

Hera stood back again and put a hand under his chin and tilted his head to observe her work under the lights. "You can hardly tell there's a hole in your head."

Kanan laughed but he could feel himself blushing from her touch. He put a hand to his head as if to run it through his hair, except he couldn't because his hair was tied back. It was an unconscious gesture of discomfort he'd done since his padwan days. "I appreciate you patching me up."

Hera smiled at him, dropping his chin and putting away the bacta cream. "I need you in good shape if you're going to help me repair all that wiring tomorrow."

"Oh yeah, that." Another rush of embarrassment flooded him. "Just call me when you need me."

"I will," she promised.

*****

The wiring took longer to put together than it had to accidentally take apart, but fortunately Kanan managed to help Hera get it working again without inciting another small disaster. In fact, it had been almost three days since he'd made an obvious fool of himself in front of Hera and he hoped it was the beginning of a streak.

Except, there was a new problem. Over the last few days since he'd really started admitting to himself that he had feelings for Hera he'd begun to wonder if she just might have feelings for him too. The thought made him surprisingly nervous.

Feelings or no, however, Kanan was in a bit of a situation. He knew he'd been acting really weird over the last few days and Hera had definitely noticed. He had to do something and he didn't like the prospect. He really didn't want to humiliate himself in front of Hera. Again.

Laying on his bunk, trying and failing to get to sleep, he went around and around in his head about his feelings, the possibility of her feelings, and what that might mean for him as a fugitive. He didn't want to ruin their friendship. He really didn't want to limit his freedom. Most of all he didn't want to sever one of the last connections he had with the life he had before. He had a lot to loose.

He wondered what his master would have told him to do in this situation. Somehow he just couldn't imagine her having any advice for him. Should he continue in the way he'd been raised? It didn't really matter anymore. He wasn't a Jedi anymore. The Code didn't mean anything to anyone anymore. It shouldn't be this complicated.

Still, the thought of abandoning that one secret aspect of his life, of severing that one secret link he had to his old life, was painful in a way he didn't fully anticipate.

He shook his head vigorously to rid himself of those haunted thoughts. Kanan, he told himself, you are getting way ahead of yourself. You don't even know if she likes you yet and you're getting all dramatic about leaving the Code behind. He took in deep breath. He knew what he had to do.

Rising, he left his room.

Crossing the hall he tapped on the door. He hoped it wasn't too late. Hera didn't particularly like having her sleep interrupted unless there was an emergency, and while this felt kind of like an emergency to him he doubted Hera would see it that way. He thought about going back to his room but it was too late, he'd already knocked on the door. He had to face the music. Chopper opened the door, fussing at Kanan with its usual foul temper.

"I know, I know, but I want to speak to Hera." Kanan held up his hands in a placating gesture.

Chop jabbed one of its little hands at Kanan and scolded him.

"Chop? What is it?" Hera's voice came from her bunk, she definitely sounded like she'd been all the way asleep. Kanan felt a little bad about waking her.

"It's me Hera," said Kanan. "Sorry to wake you up, I just needed to talk to you about something."

Hera got up and came to the door, rubbing sleep from her eyes. "Is everything okay? Is something wrong?"

"No, it's nothing like that." Kanan suddenly felt very stupid again. His hand found the back of his neck as he tried to spit out his thought before he chickened out. "I wanted to talk to you about us."

Chopper came over to the doorway and complained to Hera noisily.

Hera shot the droid a frown. "Chop, I need to talk to Kanan right now, why don't you go check the cockpit and make sure everything is okay."

Chop fussed.

"Go." Hera pointed out the door. Chopper left the room sulkily.

Hera looked back at Kanan, then she motioned him to come into her room. She didn't say anything as she sat on her bunk and invited him to do likewise. She sat down cross legged so she could face him and Kanan did the same.

Kanan took a deep breath, his face burning again. The dim light from the hallway was the only thing illuminating them, he hoped it was dim enough that Hera couldn't see his blush. He could feel her eyes on him and a large part of him wished he could go back in time about ten minutes and not do this. He squashed those feelings down. He'd faced armies of Separatist droids when he was little more than a kid, why was it so much harder to face one woman he was in love with and tell her how he felt?

Hera reached a hand out and touched his arm. "What is it Kanan, what do you need to say?"

A rush of warmth flushed through Kanan at her touch. He took another breath and looked at her. "Hera, I've got something to tell you. I've been thinking about it for a few days now and, well, I think I need to just get it out in the open."

Hera looked a little alarmed. "I know something's been on your mind."

Kanan ran his hand into his hair, this time successfully as he wore it loose for sleeping, and forged on with his confession. "You and me, we've been together on Ghost for a while now." He cleared his throat. Why was he stating the obvious?

Hera nodded. "Yes we have, we're a great team." She seemed to be a little more concerned than Kanan thought she would be.

"Yeah," said Kanan, suddenly conscious of how close Hera was to him. "We've been working together for some time, but I think maybe things have changed a little, maybe we should do something different."

Hera's eyes grew big and the hand on Kanan's arm tightened. "What are you saying, Kanan?"

Kanan was surprised by her reaction. Did she want him to not say what he had planned on saying? Was this a mistake? Had she known about his feelings and was just ignoring them as a sign that she wasn't interested? He swallowed. "Well, I guess what I'm saying is that I-" Kanan rethought what he'd been about to say. Maybe saying he loved her right off the bat was a bad idea. He'd definitely heard somewhere that you shouldn't say I love you too soon.

Hera looked worried. "Kanan, are you trying to tell me you're leaving?"

Kanan was taken off guard. "What? No. I'm trying to tell you I love you." There it was, he'd gone and said it anyway.

"You love me?" It was Hera's turn for a question. She seemed completely unprepared for that statement.

Kanan gulped. He must have said the wrong thing. He couldn't backpedal now. "Yeah," he said, lamely.

Hera's eyes were big for a long second before a smile started to break across her face. "So, you're not leaving? You want to stay?"

Kanan was lost. "Why did you think I was leaving?"

Hera squeezed him arm. "You've been acting kind of weird ever since we were working on the wiring in the cockpit. I was afraid that something I said reminded you that you'd been here a while and you had started thinking about moving on."

Kanan looked away from her. "Well, I do think about that sometimes, but it wasn't anything you said in that conversation."

"You want to leave?" Hera leaned closer, looking at him intensely.

"No," said Kanan, "well, not most of the time," he amended. He looked back at her. "I've been adrift in the galaxy since I was fourteen years old, I don't really know what else to do with my life besides keep moving."

Hera sat back a little, thinking. "I understand," she said at last. She rubbed her hand up and down his arm in a comforting way. "But I want you to know that you have a home here. No matter what, you are part of the crew of Ghost and you will always belong with us."

That strange fluttering sensation filled Kanan again. Her words were at once some of the most beautiful and most terrifying words he'd ever heard. "You really think that?"

"I do, that's why I was so worried you wanted to leave." Hera gave his arm another gentle squeeze.

Kanan sighed. "I guess that's part of the problem." He searched for the words that had so easily been flying around his head just moments ago when he was laying on his bunk. "If I stay here, make this place my home, then I'm stuck here. I can't leave. I'm not safe." The last three words sort of fell out of his mouth before he could stop them. His eyes darted away from Hera's face. Along with the burning embarrassment he was feeling, a rush of shame was added. He was afraid. He wasn't supposed to be afraid.

Hera scooted closer to him, their knees practically touching. "Kanan, I want you to look me in the eye."

Kanan looked back at her. Her green eyes beautiful and almost luminous in the shadowy room.

Hera put her hand to Kanan's face, it was gentle and comforting, but there was a strength behind it. "You are safe here. You always will be. This is your home. I won't let anything happen to you, not on my watch."

Kanan gave her a small smile. He actually believed her. He knew, deep down, that he could trust her like he hadn't trusted anyone in years. The thought of being stuck here was seeming less and less bad every second.

"And me loving you isn't going to ruin us, ruin our friendship? It won't ruin what we've already got?"

Hera shook her head. "Not a chance."

Some of the tension that had been gripping Kanan dissipated. He wanted to lean into Hera's hand. To be held in her arms, but something was holding him back. There was that other thing that was bothering him. "There's something else," he said, he had to get it all out now. There was no turning back.

"Tell me," said Hera. Her thumb brushed over his cheek affectionately.

Kanan chose his next words carefully. He didn't want to give away too much, not yet. "I was raised different than most people." That was an understatement. "I was raised thinking that I'd never have a relationship with anyone. I was told that falling in love, was something I should avoid." When he said it without the context of the Order it really did sound weird.

"And do you still think that?" Hera's voice contained a hint of worry again.

"Not really." Kanan studied Hera's face. He couldn't imagine anyone being more beautiful than she was right now. "I don't live like I was raised anymore, I haven't in a long time. But a part of me still feels like I'm betraying my past by falling in love with you." It felt a little odd how many times he'd used the word love in this conversation. So much for playing it cool.

"Kanan, I'm not going to push you to do something you're not comfortable with." Hera dropped her hand from his face to take one of his hands and give it a little squeeze. "And if you think the best way you can honor your past is by not acting on your feelings, then I will accept that." Hera took her own deep breath and for the first time Kanan realized that she was also nervous about this conversation. It was Hera's turn to look away. "But if you want to give this a try – give us a try – then you should know that," here she stopped she didn't seem quite prepared to continue. "Kanan, I wouldn't normally say this so soon, but," she took another breath, "I love you, too."

Kanan had never had anyone say those words to him before. He was simultaneously filled with elation and uncertainty. He had no road map to navigate this.

"I want you to stay with me," Hera continued, looking back at him. "No matter what you choose you're a part of my life and I want you to stay in it. You, me and Chopper, we're a little family now."

Feeling silly, but earnest at the same time, Kanan put his other hand on Hera's and held it. "I don't know what I'm doing with any of this. It's all new to me. I'm still worried that I'm doing something wrong. That this will all go sideways. But," Kanan leaned forward so that he could see Hera better. He had an overwhelming desire to be as close to her as possible. "I want to give it a try." Kanan's eyes traced over the features of her face, the embarrassment he'd felt earlier was starting to recede into a warm glow. "My past is complicated," another massive understatement, "I'm never sure how much I should ignore what I was taught or how much I should follow it. The path forward from my childhood has been hard to find and I've made a lot of mistakes. I don't know if I'll be any good for you."

Hera put her other hand on top of Kanan's. She rubbed the back of his hand and leaned close. "You are a good man, Kanan Jarrus. If we keep talking like we are now, then we can solve any problem. We can figure this out together. We can do this."

"You really think so?" It had been a long time since Kanan had hoped as much as he did right now. For the first time since he was very young he had hope for a future. Loving Hera meant a whole new beginning, a new way of life he never could have imagined before. This was a first step of a journey into an undiscovered country where he didn't know how to live. But, somewhere along the way in this conversation, he'd stopped being afraid of what that meant. He was excited by the prospect of this new adventure.

Hera beamed. Her smile warmed him all over. "I really do." Then, leaning even closer, she pressed her lips to his. Their hands still tangled together, their futures intertwined.

#Kanan Jarrus #Hera Syndulla #Kanan/Hera #Kanera #Valentine's Day #Star Wars #Star Wars: Rebels #Fanfiction #Fanfic #Falling in love #Romance #First Kiss #OTP #4k words

23 notes · View notes

evansfm · 3 years

Text

𝙨𝙚𝙚 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧𝙨𝙚𝙡𝙛 –– 𝐞𝐯𝐚𝐧 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐥𝐲 .

every morning evan woke up to a london sky that refused to let the sun in ; summer was drier than spring , but the clouds seemed to linger year round . . . not that she minded . she had , after all , grown up in county dublin , where things were always a bit damp . still , the lack of COLOR could be draining . . . so she searched for it in unexpected places , creating little pockets of color for herself in a rather grayscale world . golden lights strung on her balcony , isla’s bright red hair and matching smile , an array of bright letters boasting NME lining a wall –– covers from past decades , a rainbow rubik’s cube next to her keyboard , two framed photographs perched on her desk . the first seemed like forever ago , a beaming eloise with a twin on either side ; beck on the left , evan on the right , both planting kisses on her cheek one valentine’s day years and years ago . the second was more recent , backstage at a show in galway ; kieran sat in his chair with his fingers intertwined with evan’s as she draped her arms over his shoulders from behind , chin resting on top of his curls and a smile that looked SOFT compared to the goofy one ruairi wore , looming behind her with his chin on her head . she felt warmth every time she looked at them , but there was always a tug in her stomach . . . the undeniable feeling of something missing . she found her little pockets of color , but they still seemed muted without the people she loved –– the PERSON she loved .

their schedules had begun to clash –– and evan hated the way she was beginning to get used to the dull ache of his absence . distance had been a part of their relationship for months , but the time zones were killing her . they couldn’t always make time for hours wasted away on facetime ; she couldn’t always fall asleep to the sound of his voice on the other end of the line . they were both where they were supposed to be , chasing their dreams together , separately . . . but evan was beginning to wonder if the path she was on –– the desk , the deadlines , the distance –– was actually what she WANTED . there was a lack of creative control at nme ; she was a part of a greater whole , confined to a desk when she wasn’t out in the field . she felt restless . . . bored , almost . and with her most recent deadline met and a job of her own –– evan connely , sans nme –– waiting at the end of the week , she was distracted .

“ WHAT are you doing ? ” isla popped up behind her , coming out of nowhere to look over her shoulder .

“ jesus , ” evan startled , nearly dropping the plastic puzzle in her hand , “ where t’e fuck did you come from ? ”

“ charlotte’s office . answer my question . ”

“ playing wit’�� a toy , ” she held up the half solved rubik’s cube , then let out an audible sigh as isla looked unimpressed , then jutted her chin towards the computer screen , “ trying to put together a mood board for t’is gig i’ve got wit’ saint valentine on friday . ”

perfectly shaped auburn brows raised , “ we got saint valentine ? ”

“ no , ” evan’s lips lifted into the faintest smirk , “ i got saint valentine . ”

“ you’re bloody joking . shut UP , ” isla gasped , rounding to her side of the table desk , just to roll her chair around , “ and you didn’t fucking tell me ? ”

“ no , because you couldn’t keep a secret if you tried .”

“ well that’s because it shouldn’t be a fucking secret , ev . this is fantastic , ” hazel eyes widened with excitement , “ so you’re shooting them for –– . . . ”

“ t’ey weren’t too explicit about it . i know for certain i’m covering bot’ shows at t’e o2 , documenting t’e whole thing from t’e moment they get there , ” evan huffed a curl away from her face , nodding to the screen , “ and t’en a shoot on site at t’e venue . so i’ve got to work wit’ what i’ve got . i’ve got ONE chance here , and nicky haven scares t’e absolute fuck out’a me , so i can’t blow it . ”

“ nicky haven scares EVERYONE . it’s part of his charm , ” isla leaned in , making herself perfectly comfortable in evan’s space as she took the mouse and began clicking through different ideas opened on photoshop , “ let’s see what you’ve got so far –– . . . ”

“ isla , it’s not a big deal . really i shouldn’t even be working on t’is HERE , right now . it’s not exactly nme related stuff , you kn–– ”

“ i TOLD you she was here today , ” a girl called sophie , who manned nme’s front desk in the mornings , materialized on the other side of evan’s desk . a junior writer , andrew , was hot on her heels .

“ soph , now really probably isn’t the best time and it really isn’t your busi–– ”

“ someone’s got to show her , ” sophie was , admittedly , obnoxious . and coming from EVAN , that was a feat .

“ show WHAT to WHO ? ” isla’s voice changed in tone , taking on a hint of authority as she looked at andrew , “ aren’t you meant to be doing some social media research right now ? ”

“ i WAS , but –– ”

“ but we’ve found something that evan HAS to see , ” sophie . again .

“ we ? ”

“ ME ? ” evan said in tandem with isla , brows lifting as she clicked the final piece into place on the cube . she glanced over at isla and felt a strange twist in her stomach when she saw the redhead had gone rigid .

“ is this about –– ”

“ rebecca stringer , ” andrew nodded solemnly , as though evan was supposed to know who the hell THAT was .

“ better known as BEX , ” sophie added .

it was evan’s turn to go rigid . her back straightened , and it felt like ice had just been shot through her veins . truth be told , she was more worried about conflicting schedules lately . . . not the way bex sing-songed a shortened version of kieran’s name . . . or the way she answered his phone and simply couldn’t remember who evan was . . . or the way she’d made sure evan could hear her promise to personally deliver kieran to his hotel room that first night in los angeles . it wasn’t exactly PLEASANT being reminded of the instinct that she’d shut down , intuition telling her something wasn’t quite right there . her brows pinched together as the rubik’s cube slid from one hand to the other and back . she glanced over at isla with a prompting look .

“ we’re . . . doing a piece about nepotism babies in the industry , and she’s a PERFECT example of one so i was having andrew look into the way she interacts with fans and her socials and what not . she’s one of like TEN people we’re looking into , ” she explained with an apologetic look . it was then that she turned a sharp eye to andrew and sophie , “ don’t know what THAT has to do with evan , though . ”

“ see for yourself . ”

“ SOPHIE . ”

“ what ? it probably isn’t even new information for her , ” she shrugged , reaching over two monitors to hand evan a phone . twitter was opened to a profile with bex’s beaming face in the icon , but the handle wasn’t hers . she gave the pair of them a skeptical look before glancing over at isla who only offered a half - hearted shrug . it didn’t take long to see what , exactly , sophie had been talking about , a slew of tweets and retweets .

bexupdates : bex & kieran pulled up to the venue together . . . and then left at the same time . why are they lowkey so cute annathefound : not bex wearing a baby tee version of the found’s merch . . . stanning her boyfriend just like the rest of us

ruairidailyposts : ok wait are evan & kieran even dating anymore bc i could be down with a bex & kieran moment cheerupbailey : @ruairidailyposts you know two people can have a relationship without posting about it right ??? they’re in separate countries rn lol

babybexxx : i just think that bex & kieran walsh as a power couple .

bxhq : no offense but bex is simply so much better for him than some rando from ireland like what thefoundupdates : @bxhq babes they LITERALLY grew up together ????

totallyconan : be honest do u guys think the reason evan isn’t on tour with them is bc they’re not together anymore like she literally never misses shows

adamfitzupdates : why are y’all so obsessed with a relationship that doesn’t concern you ??? chill bexlevitates : @adamfitzupdates bc it’s weird that evan knew him for so long and only started dating him AFTER the found started to get big like that’s shady

bexupdates : find someone who looks at u the way bex looks at kieran on stage wtf did y’all see that

newruleshq : no waaaay this man has a gf when he and bex look so good next to each other LMAO

thefoundupdates : according to the girl who wrote the article kieran literally WALKED OUT on the interview ??? rockstar behavior but also hope he’s ok

evan could’ve kept scrolling for hours as her heart rate began to rise and rise . the crease between her brows deepened , and she reminded herself of everything she knew to be true . kieran LOVED her . twitter was a BRUTAL place . it was as though the worst parts of her subconscious had come to life in 280 characters or less . her head began to swim as her heart sank into her stomach .

“ what does t’is –– . . . ” her voice cracked , and she cleared her throat , finally looking up from the phone screen , “ why , exactly , are you showing me this ? ”

sophie looked as though she was shocked by evan’s question , “ because i’ve dated musicians . . . and like HALF of those are in bex’s likes . which are public , by the way . just doesn’t seem subtle to me . ”

“ are you trying to insinuate something here , sophie ? ” her tone shifted , irritated as she handed the phone back .

“ like i said , i’ve dated guys in bands , too , and –– ”

“ enough , ” isla snapped , “ you’re sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong . BOTH of you should be off doing your jobs right now , so , run along . ”

both of them scurried off without a word .

evan was still for a moment , but her fingertips were itching for the keyboard . she was no stranger to things like this , unkind words from strangers who didn’t LOVE the idea of her –– despite not knowing her . the good outweighed the bad on the internet , but the voices who didn’t like her were always the loudest . even BEFORE she and kieran had gone public with their relationship . . . even before they were ever in a relationship at all . over time , she’d learned to tune it out and focus on the kindness that flooded her comment sections and mentions . . . but every now and again something slipped through the cracks . . . and when they did , she absorbed them like a blow to the abdomen . they settled into her memory and cemented themselves there , tucked away until they found the perfect moment to make her self conscious . like the fan who had commented on the shape of her body before and after going to uni . . . and another from galway who made it their business to let everyone know she’d slept around while living there . . . and every time someone said she wasn’t good enough for kieran or any of them . that she had bad intentions , leeching onto the boys for fame . that her career was based SOLELY on the four of them .

if she caved and kept scrolling , she’d commit it all to memory . . . everything that made her intuition about bex STRONGER .

instead , she launched forward and snatched the rubik’s cube back up , immediately distorting its perfect faces and mixing it up again . it was good to keep your hands busy , she knew , when your mind began to run away .

the worst of it wasn’t even TRULY comments about their relationship . . . those hurt , but they didn’t sting quite as bad as real - time updates about kieran and bex showing up or leaving venues together . she dulled the pain by reminding herself that THREE other boys were never too far behind . that kieran would never . . . COULD never . . .

but then again , there was the tweet that weighed heaviest in her mind . kieran walked out in the middle of an interview , and he hadn’t told her . something rattled him to the point of his version of an outburst , and he hadn’t told her . that seemed like something he would have told her . . . it seemed important enough , she thought to herself , right ? RIGHT ?

her throat felt tight , and she kept running the tweets she’d read over in her mind . there was a deep furrow in her brow as she looked down at her hands , still vehemently mixing up the toy . something felt off kilter . . . but she couldn’t pin down which hurt more : the slew of tweets from people pretending to know what went on in her relationship . . . or the thought of kieran doing something as rash as storming out of an interview –– and then not telling her .

“ i didn’t know about t’e interview bit , ” she said quietly , eyes still trained on the colorful cube . she was certain her face was the opposite , color drained .

“ evan –– . . . ”

“ it’s fine , ” she said firmly , “ it’s probably not true . just like t’e rest of it isn’t true . ”

her voice sounded distant . . . and she wasn’t sure if she was trying to convince isla or HERSELF . clearing her throat again , she set the toy back down on her desk and scooted towards the computer .

“ i’ve got work to do , ” she said quietly , getting back to the monitor . though all she wanted to do was go home . how many more people thought that she wasn’t GOOD ENOUGH for kieran ? how many people thought someone like bex was a better fit ? how long would it take for the suggestion to become potent enough to make the people who KNEW them question it as well ? and if kieran had walked out of an interview , WHY hadn’t he told her ?

she glanced down at her own phone screen , hoping that maybe she’d missed a text or a call . . . but all she got was nothing . nothing but the words she’d seen written down , now cemented in her mind : bex is simply so much better for him . . . because SHE was there , wrapped up in the same world he was in . she was accessible . immediate . beautiful .

and evan was stuck in london with nothing but time to wonder .

#idk what to taaaag it

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roxa-sos · 4 years

Text

heaven's gate, part one - grief and her rich friends. (john b routledge)

john b routledge x reyna lance

tw; alcohol, teenage drinking, kissing + reference to it leading to sex towards the end

part one; reyna lance, born and raised in the outer banks, deals with grief in an unusual way.

a/n -- uh reyna is rich girl chaos. i love her too much.

×××

grief is weird when your family has money.

on one hand, you're probably looking at a big sum of money and access to a fund that whoever's dead left for you. that's a plus. on the other side, you just lost someone you were close to. but you can never be too close to anyone when you've got power over half of an island.

reyna lance. sixteen year old rich girl from figure eight. daughter of sean and tyra lance. she was only known for three major things - her dad's porsche, her messy breakups, and her alcohol problem.

problems were constant in the lance family. from tax evasion to fucking with stocks, it seemed like every other month it looked like sean lance was going to jail. he never did, though, which was quite the accomplishment, but expected with his kind of funds. everyone always thought that it would be jailtime that drew him away from the island. like always, though, he surprised the residents of the outer banks.

"reyna!" her mother called from the bottom of the staircase, banging on the railing to get her attention. her actions dragged the girl out of her room, in shorts, a tube top and some layer that resembled a kimono. "you can't hide from sean like this."

the girl groaned, throwing her head back before she leaned over the side of the staircase. she could technically hide from her dad for as long as she wanted, they had multiple properties, boats, cars, it would take a considerable amount of time for him to find her. nevertheless, she had to listen to her mom. it was hard saying no to that woman.

"you can't hide from sean like this," she echoed in a mocking tone, looking down at her mom.

tyra beckoned her down with her hand, crossing her arms. "your father told you an hour ago that we needed to talk as a family. that doesn't mean you hide away like a hermit, sweetie."

"okay, i'm here now. you want to talk?" reyna asked, taking her time as she climbed down the stairs to talk to her mother.

"your dad's in the kitchen. come on." with that statement, her mom turned her back on the girl and walked down the hall. this left reyna considering going back upstairs, but if her parents were so desperate to talk to her, she figured she may as well give them the time of day.

so, she followed her mother, trailing a few feet behind her after hurrying down the rest of the stairs.

upon entering the kitchen, she caught sight of a woman sitting at the kitchen table, her father leaning on the table next to her. "what is it now, dad, trouble with the IRS or some shit?" reyna asked, hardly looking at her dad while she grabbed a water bottle from the fridge.

"can you take this seriously, please?" her mother hissed at her, causing reyna to do a double take. her mom was usually a fairly passive aggressive person. she didn't yell, she didn't take disciplinary action, she just got frustrated with people. and disappointed, her favorite phrase was that she "wasn't sad, just disappointed." so the new tone of voice got reyna's attention.

"yeah... yeah," the girl trailed off, closing the fridge, facing her parents from where she stood. "so what's going on?"

"baby," her father finally spoke up, taking a few steps towards her. "i'd love it if you could meet karissa." he gestured to the woman at the table. she was blonde, young, and she looked professional.

"alright, uh, hi, then?" reyna shrugged, providing nothing more than a wave for the blonde.

"she's my... girlfriend."

reyna's father's words caused her jaw to drop. literally. reyna never thought that she'd be in a situation that would physically cause her jaw to drop, but there she was, staring at her father's... mistress? from across the kitchen, completely dumbstruck.

"i told you to ease her into it," tyra spat, obviously angry with the man.

"you're growing up, you know? i think you deserve to know when your dad's gonna be out of your life," sean ignored reyna's mother, trying to get into his daughter's line of sight to keep her attention.

reyna's parents were always rocky. she didn't have a fantastic relationship with her dad, and she always joked about how she'd choose her mom's side in the divorce, but she didn't actually think that a divorce was ever going to happen, especially considering how tyra was more of a trophy wife than a working one. "what are you talking about?" reyna started interrogating the man in front of her, shaking her head as if she didn't understand it.

"your mother and i are splitting up. it's mutual-" he began, before being interrupted by his apparent ex-wife.

"it's over karissa," she interjected before letting reyna's father continue.

"mutual. we fell out of love. you've always said that you wanted to stick with your mom, so i figured that it was just easier to relinquish custody." he continued, explaining his thinking as if it was going to make any sense to his teenage daughter.

reyna stood there for a few moments, eyebrows furrowed as she stared at her dad.

"i know it's not immediate, but we'll be in court for the next few weeks sorting things out. okay? it's for the best that you're sticking with tyra. you two are good." sean clapped his hands once he was done speaking, not expecting a response from reyna. "good. good, we've cleared the air. saying that, you both have my number, i'll be staying at the other place until i officially move out. that's alright?"

"yeah, dad, that's alright." maybe it was shock, or maybe she'd just accepted it, but reyna didn't seem to be phased by a divorce being dumped in her lap.

reyna tended to be... insensitive. was she an asshole? kind of, actually, but not nearly as much as a majority of the kooks. but did she understand healthy relationships? hardly, and that was all thanks to the people getting a divorce. so maybe it was acceptance after all, because she never really saw them working out.

"is that it?" she asked, looking at the adults in the room. tyra looked a little shocked to see the girl so done with the conversation, but she nodded carefully.

"that's it, but-"

"alright, cool, uh, you guys can do whatever, i'll be back later." she nodded, quickly backing out of the kitchen.

she had a feeling in the pit of her stomach that she didn't understand at all. anger? she was pissed at her dad for being a whore when he was married and had a kid. sad? she was sad about... losing him? sure. there was something else there, though, and she couldn't figure it out.

and she wouldn't figure it out, at least, she didn't think she would. it was almost nine in the evening, and she was sure that there had to be at least one rager on the island on that fine friday night. it was the outer banks, there was a party somewhere every night, you just had to know where to look. usually reyna went to parties with friends. it was how you stayed safe, how you had a designated driver, and how you had fun. though, reyna wasn't looking for anything other than to get wasted and evict whatever feeling was overtaking her body.

so, instead of heading back to her room, she headed out to the garage. nothing like pulling up in your dad's porsche to wherever you were going. she got into the driver seat and pulled out her phone, and based on a few snapchat stories, it was easy to deduct that where she needed to go to get wasted was the boneyard, for a good old kegger.

it took her less than twenty minutes to get there, and she could've done it in ten if she hadn't pulled over to scream. screech at the top of her lungs, frustrated because she felt stuck. nevertheless, she got there, shoving the keys in her back pocket before finding her way to the crowd of people. a bonfire, a keg, and all different kinds of teens were scattered around the beach. with these different kinds of teens, she ultimately was able to spot one of her best friends.

"lance, never texted me back about the party, but you still showed up to it?" topper thornton referred to reyna by her last name as she greeted him with a disappointing shrug.

"you know i love leaving you on read," she joked, taking a cup of beer he offered to her. "is sarah around?" she asked about his girlfriend, not seeing the kook princess by his side.

"yeah, she's somewhere. you know, being sarah cameron." he rolled his eyes and sighed. reyna knew all about the girl just through topper himself, and not that reyna hated sarah... just that she was definitely topper's friend before she was hers. "did you steal your dad's car?" he asked, a hint of astonishment in his voice.

reyna shrugged once more, a little smug smile on her face that time. "looking for new ways to piss him off." she admitted, gesturing to the vehicle.

"well, when he kicks you out, i can probably sneak you into our guest bedroom." topper laughed, glancing down the beach. "you're kidding me, sarah's-" he began to explain before shouting her name once more and booking it down the beach. she was probably doing something dumb... being sarah cameron.

reyna clicked her tongue, swishing the beer around in the plastic cup she'd been given while nodding. "nice talk," she continued walking down the beach until she could spot some of the pogues, and took a drink to the fact that she had to see them.

of course, she didn't get what she expected. she gagged on the alcohol, wincing at the taste. "holy fuck," she coughed, shaking her head.

"something wrong?" reyna heard a voice from beside her, and she could hardly bring herself out of her own disgust to look at the person it was coming from.

"yeah, this beer tastes like warm coors light, who serves warm coors light at a party?" she was half joking, but it was really bad. the guy standing next to her was hard to recognize from up close. he had somewhat long brown hair that was sticking out of the bottom of a baseball cap turned backwards. apparently he didn't have the time to button up his shirt all the way, so it sat open, two buttons holding it together towards his lower abdomen. of course, that made it hard for reyna to not stare at what was exposed. she brought her eyes to meet his, and saw a slight smile on his face as he looked down at her.

"we do, i guess," he laughed, tilting his head to the side. he seemed surprised to hear her say something so... bold to him, but he brushed if off. "sorry for the shitty beer, then. i'm john b." he offered his hand for her to shake, and she took it out of habit.

she recognized his name, and it was just her luck that he was one of those pogues. he had to be one of the most recognizable ones, now that she thought about it, but she'd never seen him face to face.

"reyna. reyna lance." she introduced herself in response, shaking his hand briefly before letting go.

"oh, trust me, i know a lance when i see one," he nodded, letting her know that she didn't need to introduce herself.

"you do?" reyna asked, a little confused. she'd already managed to forget that the entire island knew her and her parents. even the kids from the cut, which they probably screwed over the most.

"yeah, i do," john b confirmed, taking the cup of beer from reyna's hand and downing it for her. "what i originally came over here to ask you is what you're doing alone at my party."

"we own parties now?" reyna laughed, raising an eyebrow at the boy. why was she alone? topper blew her off, of course, but she wasn't about to let john b in on her personal life.

he rolled his eyes at her, his smile slightly growing. "whatever, i brought the beer, i own the party, you're just roaming around alone?"

"just trying to get wasted, john b." reyna reassured him, patting his shoulder like they were old friends. it probably didn't help that he'd drank the rest of her beer, but she wasn't sure she could've finished the cup herself without throwing up.

"this, reyna, is what you should've said earlier." he immediately pointed out, motioning for her to wait a moment as he maneuvered through people to get to the keg. it didn't take him long to come back with another cup, earning a sour look from reyna. "don't look so bitchy, it's not warm coors light, just drink it." he handed her the cup, and resisting every muscle in her body that told her not to, she took a sip.

the drink burned the back of her throat, but that made her know it was strong.

"oh, wow," she coughed, blinking a few times. "wasting good alcohol on a kook?"

"looked like you needed it." john b said in response, arms crossed as he watched her take another sip. well, less of a sip, more of a chug. he had his own cup in his hand, hardly filled, but he matched her pace when he saw her continue to drink.

"shit, you're the best pogue i know," she breathed, half of the cup's contents having been consumed at that point.

"i better be," he responded briefly before returning to drinking, reyna following in pursuit. when he was done, he had to pinch the bridge of his nose and rub his eyes. "christ, our livers are shot."

"who gives a fuck about livers? as far as i'm concerned, i could die tomorrow night." reyna almost choked on her words by the time she was done with the cup, running her hand through her hair.

"tomorrow night?" john b seemed a little surprised, but he went with it, "that doesn't give us a lot of time."

"time to do what?" reyna shook her head, already feeling the alcohol taking its toll on her body.

he only shrugged, offering reyna the chance to answer that question herself.

"fuck it, then, i'm gonna go dance like i don't hate myself and then we'll see if i die." she shrugged, throwing her cup with as much force as possible towards the white trash bag that sat twenty feet away from them. it hardly made it in, but there were what looked like a hundred other cups scattered around the bag.

"have fun, then, i'm gonna go regret drinking this much," john b waved her away as reyna backed away from him and walked towards the music, leaving her to her own agenda.

it hardly took an hour for whatever had been in the plastic cup to really fuck reyna up. being wasted was an understatement by the time ten forty five rolled around. by then, people were dwindling. they'd run out of beer, so people had started to head home, or to other parties that were stocked.

reyna had to stick around, though, because the last thing she needed was to trash her dad's porsche, no matter how badly she wanted to do it. she said she was gonna die tomorrow night, not that night.

"still sticking around?" she heard that voice again, and turned once more to see john b right behind her.

"drunk driving is no joke, and i'm where you are, jb." reyna had already given him a nickname, acknowledging her unhealthy alcohol content.

john b laughed, looking reyna up and down. she was glistening with sweat from dancing and the heat, her hair was a mess, and when she smiled at him she had her bottom lip tucked between her teeth. he was just as wasted as she was, but he hid it a little better. "so, if i crash in the back of my van, you're there?"

reyna nodded, letting out a breath. she probably wouldn't have let herself get so lost if she wasn't trying to escape herself, but she didn't care about that anymore. honestly, as long as she could be anyone other than reyna lance for a little bit? life wasn't too bad, didn't matter if she was wasted or not.

and hanging with pogue boys didn't make her feel like a lance. "i'm there."

"good, because i can't leave you drunk and alone on this beach." he pointed out, moving his hand to her hip to keep her steady next to him. she was standing just fine, she was wasted, but not blackout drink. not embarrassingly drunk.

"i didn't expect you to be the kind of guy to leave drunk girls on the beach," reyna nodded as he walked her towards the van, which was a little further down the beach, away from her dad's car.

he could only laugh at her few comments, neither of them knowing why. even drunk, reyna didn't think she'd have a pogue laughing at her dumb jokes and comments. standing next to the van, her back to the door, he faced her, their eye contact overwhelmingly obvious to reyna.

his hands were still on her hips, and she gently rested her own hands on his shoulders in response. before she knew it, she'd pulled him towards her and crashed her lips onto his. he welcomed the kiss, pushing her up against the side of the van as she fumbled for the door handle to get it open.

grief.

grief for whatever her life had been before? that was that feeling.

and grief made people do stupid things.

taglist; @maebanks @dpaccione @outerbxrafe @jjbabyouterbanks @wtfstarkey

#john b routledge #john b #john b outer banks #jb outer banks #obx #outer banks #john b obx #john b fic #john b imagine #john b fanfiction #outer banks fanfiction #obx fanfiction #heaven's gate obx-sos

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joezworld · 4 years

Note

So, when British merchant ships aren't busy saving lives, what less honorable thefts and kidnappings and assorted shenanigans might one expect them to get up to?

Point of order, these weren't British merchant ships - British merchant ships were in a similar position to the steam trains, and often had to be hijacked by other, smarter ships in order to not get cut up at the end of their life.

Shenanigans depend on the point of view, but here's a few examples:

The Blue Riband

The Transatlantic speed prize has been awarded to the fastest ship to cross the Atlantic for many years. The long-standing record holder was the SS United States, who held the record more or less by default, as she was one of the last great ocean liners built, so nobody was built faster than her.

Then came the container ships.

There was an incredibly brief fad in the 1990s of building 'express container ships' - that is, incredibly fast ships that could do well over 30 knots in an effort to lower the overall transit time.

This was a brief fad because it was incredibly stupid - ocean cargo doesn't need to be quick - and the two lines who did this collapsed by 1997, leaving a combined 15 ships that were scattered to various cargo companies.

The ships had been built, though, and fuel was cheap, so they definitely tried for the Riband when they could.

A great disturbance was felt in the force when in 2002, MV CMA CGM Archer Lewis sailed from Ambrose light to Bishop Rock in 3 days and 9 hours, shaving a full 2.5 hours off of the previous record.

United States did not take this laying down, and set a blistering 3 day 8.3 hour journey a few weeks later.

That record stood for two hours before MV Maersk Tom Petersen, following in her wake, shaved another 40 minutes off the time.

That probably would have been the end of it, if Tom hadn't run his mouth, and said that it was 'time for the old tubs to clear out of the way.'

Now it was on - and it wasn’t just United States defending her title - now it was new vs old, cargo vs passenger, and steam turbine vs diesel engine.

The record was beaten 32 times in 6 months, sometimes by minutes, a few times by hours. Ships were running themselves ragged, and all parties involved were considering just stopping when, from out of nowhere, a high-speed catamaran ferry on his delivery run set a sub-3-day run. Going west. Against the gulf stream.

A word about Catamaran Ferries: They're called "Plastic Fantastics" by large ships, and it is not an affectionate term.

Now there was a common enemy - the ferry must be destroyed. No glory must go to those two hulled monstrosities.

A training regiment was conceived - two dozen ships from both the liners and the container ships elected to try and win the prize.

Resources were pooled. Motors were upgraded. Hulls were polished. Propellers replaced.

Nothing was left to chance but the weather.

The Riband would be theirs.

It took them almost a year, but they did it - ships burned out motors, bashed their hulls on unseen waves, destroyed propellers, and stayed up for weeks on end waiting for their chance.

Eventually, SS France achieved the prize - two days, 23 hours, 54 minutes, exactly 3 minutes faster than the catamaran. She might have seized her main propshaft and done hideous damage to her turbines, but the catamarans were defeated.

The ships were jubilant, but the catamarans were unimpressed.

"You do know that he was just fucking with you guys, right?" Came the question.

The ships did not know that.

As it turned out, the Catamaran in question had faked his GPS tracking log to screw with the feuding liners, and did a rather subdued 4 days 10 hours.

---

That Catamaran had gone to work for a Panamanian ferry company.

One day he went missing.

They found him two weeks later, half a mile inland on a road in Columbia.

-------------------

Pirates

Aye me hearties, there still be pirates out there on the big blue sea - although, considering today's economy and whatnot, they be doing much less of this:

And much more of this:

Aye, it sickens me too matey, but that's the economy for ye.

But, that all being said, there is some hope for those who wish to fly the Jolly Roger - counter pirates!

Ye see matey, now that we've all agreed that pirates are bad, (at least from an economic perspective) the world's militaries be doin' something about it! Now off the coast o' Somalia, they be fighting pirates the normal way - with overwhelming firepower and superior tactics.

But! There be other pirates, much sneakier ones, who try and make off with their ill-gotten goods in deep water. So the military uses a much different approach there:

They use their own fleet of pirate hunting scallywags to chase down the competition!

Isn't piracy fun?

#headcanon #extremely specific headcanon #long #boat headcanon #boats #background info #ask response #blue riband #pirates

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justaghostingon · 4 years

Text

Pygmalion

Read on ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25962064

Once there was a man, who could not find love among the women he knew, so he decided to make his own.

“Oli, come with me. I’ve got a new project for you.” Gyrus’ smile was stilted as he beckoned Oli down the corridor. Oli followed, a bounce in his step as anticipation welled up inside him. The projects Gyrus had him help with were always interesting, even if they didn’t always work.

They entered the lab, and Oli froze. A woman hung suspended from the wires and machines. Her ethereal blue hair glowed in the dim light of the machine. It fell perfectly around her asymmetrical face, one half covered in soft skin, the other open and gapping to reveal a skull made of metal. She was barely more than a torso and upper arms, metal and wiring sticking out like some half finished machine, waiting for a mechanic to bring it back to life.

“Oli, meet Maria,” Gyrus said as Oli approached the remains of the woman. “She’s a robot from the last realm that I thought we could fix up and try and use on missions.”

He babbled on, talking about the advantages that a nie indestructible robot could have, but Oli wasn’t listening. Carefully he brought his hands up to encompass the woman’s face. Her single eyelid fluttered open, as delicate as the real one her long ago designer had tried to copy, and looked Oli in the eye.

“Hello Maria,” Oli whispered, for only a whisper seemed appropriate in this fragile moment.

“Hello.” She smiled, and Oli felt the whirl of machinery beneath his fingers humming like a pulse. The left side of her face was soft and warm against his skin, the right cool and smooth as steel, but Oli knew as he cradled her in that moment that all of her was undeniably human.

Many days and many nights did he labor over her, sculpting the perfect woman out of stone. And when he finished, he named her Galatea, for the white of her marble skin.

Fixing Maria was the hardest thing Oli had ever done. Her body was more complex than any project he’d ever worked on, and Oli found a new respect for the physicians who tended to the human body, their task was truly daunting if it was anything like the one of metal he and Gyrus labored over.

Every twist of wires, every slight calibration, every metal frame, all required the most delicate touch, lest they damage her beyond repair. She was magnificent though, a true masterpiece. As they inched their way along her body, rebuilding her from the ground up, Oli couldn’t help but wonder if the gods knew him in such intimate detail or if they did not care for the long labor his mother had needed to bring him to life.

Through it all Maria kept up her spirits, laughing and joking about the fine mess she had been reduced to. Oli admired her bravery, because even though she tried to grit her teeth, he knew their every motion caused her pain. She couldn’t hide it from him, even if she wanted to. Oli could see inside her every corner, and he knew when she bit her lip like that the reconnected wire beneath his fingers had burned her.

Gyrus seemed to notice too, and it made him sad, shoulders hanging with the weight of the world. But Maria did not like to see him so morose, and so would laugh or joke to try and lift his spirits.

“How’s your boyfriend?” she asked after a particularly hard operation. Oli blinked, confused. As far as he knew, Gyrus had no interest in anyone, to the great disappointment of many. But to his shock, Gyrus didn’t laugh it off like he usually did. Instead a cherry red blush crept across his face, until even his ears burned a brilliant red.

Oli started, but Maria laughed, throwing her head back in an echoing howl. Gyrus’ ears turned, if it were possible, even redder. “He is not my boyfriend,” he hissed, shooting Oli an alarmed look. Maria laughed again.

“Right, right,” she said, amusement obvious in her voice. “You just hold hands, have sleepovers, spend every waking moment you can together, and talk constantly about him when you can’t. Completely platonic, my bad.”

Up until today Oli hadn’t been certain Gyrus could have those types of feelings, but when Maria put it like that it seemed obvious. There was only one person who Gyrus spent so much time with, one name he slipped into nearly every conversation.

“Are you, talking about Kodya?” he asked, feeling slightly light headed. Gyrus’ eyes widened in alarm.

“There is n-nothing between me and Kodya!” Gyrus shook his head, waving his hands in the air in denial. But Oli noticed the red did not fade.

“Uh, yeah,” Maria rolled her eyes, “because someone’s to cowardly to confess.” Gyrus hid his face in his hands. Oli felt a bit bad for him.

“I’m sure Kodya wouldn’t say no,” he offered, because everyone knew Kodya was in love with Gyrus, and because Oli knew all too well the way insecurity could whisper and ruin someone’s will to ask.

“Really?” Gyrus peaked between his fingers at Oli who tried to smile encouragingly. Maria tried to help, but her clear amusement had the opposite effect. “Gahhh,” Gyrus buried his head back in his hands as he stood up. “I’m going to get more metal!” He squeaked, running from the door before Oli could remind him that he could create anything and they had plenty of ingredients.

“Looks like it's just you and me now,” Maria chuckled, and as Oli turned to her, he realized that they had never been alone before.

The man would talk to his Galatea as if she were a real person.

The silence stretched out far too long as Oli struggled to come up with a topic of conversation. Maria raised an eyebrow, and Oli felt his stomach drop. “Come on, I don’t bite,” she said, and Oli looked down.

“I’m sorry,” he muttered but Maria shook her head, loose hair flopping against skin and metal alike.

“No, no! Don’t apologize! Ask me something! Go ahead, I know you want to!” She smiled at him, and for the first time, Oli wondered if she paid as much attention to them as they did to her. The revelation was disconcerting, but there was something he had been dying to ask.

He cleared his throat nervously and went for it. “What’s it like being a robot?” he said and then flinched at his own daring.

“Yeah I figured that would be the first thing you’d ask.” Maria’s voice caused him to look up. “First thing everyone does,” she added, sounding rueful. Oli clenched the front of his robe, feeling horrible.

“If I had to put it into words, I’d say it's a lot like being human most of the time,” Maria tried to shrug, but the wires holding her steady didn’t let her. She gave a half wince, and Oli stepped forward, hand instinctively raised to stop her.

Maria smiled, a small, sad smile that didn’t fit her usual chipper personality. “There is one difference though. I can survive with a whole lot less than a human can.” Oli’s brow furrowed in puzzlement. Was she talking about food?

Maria saw his confusion and elaborated. “Like blood,” she said. “You need blood to survive. But I don’t. It keeps me warm, but if I were to lose it, I’d still function.”

“That’s horrible,” Oli murmured, trying to imagine living life devoid of warmth, and feeling nothing but cold and hollow.

“Yeah it kind of is,” Maria replied, and Oli snapped his hands over his mouth, realizing how insensitive his words had been. Maria’s gaze softened. “Thanks,” she said. Oli lowered his hands, confused. “Not a lot of people notice that. But hey,-” she shot him a wide smile, more in line with her usual personality, “if I were half as squishy as you, I wouldn’t be here now would I?”

That was true, Oli felt a bit of guilt leave his shoulders. But still. “Maria?” he asked, and the woman turned her blue eyes on him. “What’s your favorite food?”

Maria blinked at him, and Oli felt his lips twitch into a smile.

He would make meals and present a portion to her cold body.

Oli hurried to the lab, a small bag in one hand and a plastic cup in the other. Gyrus wouldn’t be there right now. Oli had asked Kodya to ensure that he stayed that way, citing his worry over Gyrus overworking to ensure Kodya would not let him within ten feet of it. Oli felt a little guilty about using Kodya against Gyrus like that but he shrugged it off. He was going to do this, and he didn’t want Gyrus to stop him.

“Maria!” he called as he pushed his way into the lab. “I brought the food!” He held the little bundle aloft.

“Oh yeah! Bring in the goods!” Maria yelled, face split into a wide grin as her eyes never left the bundle in Oli’s hands. She sucked in a deep breath through her half finished nose as Oli came closer and licked her lips. “Oh man I can smell it, my mouth is watering already.”

“Just a minute,” Oli cautioned as he opened the bundle to reveal the strange wrapped bread and meat sandwich and the slices of deep fried potatoes Maria had painstakingly instructed him how to make. Maria gave a little whimper, and Oli smiled.

Oli took the sandwich first, lifting it with one hand to her face, while the other held the cup up to the bottom of her torso, to the little tube that led directly to her throat. Maria bit into the sandwich eagerly, sharp teeth nearly missing Oli’s fingers. He yelped a bit, but Maria didn’t seem to notice, to wrapped up in chewing to pay attention to Oli.

“Oh man,” she swallowed, and Oli held the cup close to the tube as the mashed up food slipped out. “It has been so long since I ate a burger.”

“I’m glad you like it,” Oli smiled. “I hope it tasted like it's supposed to.”

“Like it's supposed to?” Maria echoed, shooting him an incredulous stare. “It tasted fantastic! Oli you’ve got to be the best chef in the world!” She beamed at him, bits of sauce still stuck to her cheeks, and Oli felt like he was on top of the world.

“Now a fry,” Maria demanded, and Oli obligingly brought one up for her to bite. She took from his fingers, holding it in her mouth by the end, before gulping it down. “Mmmmm,” she groaned as she swallowed, licking the edges of her mouth. “That’s good.”

Oli blushed from the compliment as the remains of the fry slipped into the cup. “If you like it so much, I could always bring you more.”

“It would have to be soon,” Maria frowned. “You and Gyrus are gonna hook up my esophagus soon, and then the only way out will be through my stomach and the intestines.”

“Then I’ll just have to get a bigger cup,” Oli shrugged. He was a mechanic, he could figure something out. But Maria had looked so happy, and he wasn’t going to deny her something that made her feel more human.

“Alright!” Maria cheered, “Now I’ll take another bite of that burger baby! I’m feeling hungry tonight!”

And he would dress her in the finest clothes he could buy.

From then on, Oli would visit Maria whenever he could get away, bringing her food or just keeping her company. He found she was a wonderful companion, whose brash personality and boundless optimism always managed to put life in perspective. Oli couldn’t wait until the project was completed, so he could introduce her to everyone else. He was certain a warm personality like hers would get along with everyone.

He wouldn’t have to wait for much longer though, as he and Gyrus were almost finished. There were just a few final touch ups, and they would be able to take her to meet everyone. Every day Oli was able to remove one of the wires tying her to the machine, and everyday she looked more and more human.

Oli was just unwiring one of the no longer necessary wires, Gyrus left after being radioed by Don for some sort of emergency meeting, when he noticed a shiver run across Maria’s skin.

“You’re cold!” he said, hand hovering over the spot, unsure what to do. Maria gave him a slight smile.

“Yeah well. After you guys added my blood I’ve been able to notice how breezy it can get in here.” She gave a half shrug. “But it's fine. I can handle it.”

“No, no.” Oli shook his head, looking around the room. His eyes landed on a sheet in the corner where it still covered some old inventions in an attempt protect them from dust. He grabbed it and brought it back to Maria. “If you’re cold, we can fix that.”

Maria stared at the sheet with slight apprehension. “I don’t know if that’s going to work, since my arms are all spread out thanks to these wires. the air will just get underneath, not to mention my legs.”

“Oh ye of little faith,” Oli smiled, and began to twist the fabric in his hands. Every child in all of Hellas knew how to make a tunic. He carefully wrapped it around her body, mindful of the parts still attached to the wires, and fastened them at her shoulders with rubber bands. For the final touch, he took off his own belt, and slipped it around her waist, tying it so that it would hang down in the fashion his mother had so enjoyed.

“There,” he said, stepping back to admire his handy work, “now you look like a proper Hellenes lady.”

“Wow!” Maria looked down at herself, twisting a leg to brush against the white fabric, causing it to ripple. “I’m not normally a girl that looks good in white, but this is something else Oli!”

“I’m glad you like it,” Oli smiled. “When your final repairs are done, we can get you proper clothes, a whole wardrobe if you want it!”

Maria bit her lip, her exuberant excitement dimming as she was reminded of her immediate future. “When the repairs are done, yeah.”

“Hey,” Oli placed a hand on her shoulder and looked her in the eyes. “Everyone’s going to love you ok? You don’t have anything to worry about.”

Maria smiled at him, warm and kind as the sun. “Yeah,” she said, but Oli got the feeling she didn’t quite agree. No matter. Come tomorrow, she would see it for herself. “Oli?” she added, and for the first time Oli heard a bit of hesitance in her voice.

“Yes?” he smiled.

“Thank you,” she said, blue eyes boring into his. “For everything.”

“Of course,” Oli said. Feeling like something important was being said, but not quite sure what. “What are friends for?”

But no matter what he did, she did not move, speak, or eat. She had no consciousness of what he had done for her. She could not love him, and so he despaired.

Oli knew something was wrong the moment he stepped into the lab. The room was darker because the dim light of the machine had been fully switched off. To the side Gyrus sat, shoulders slumped, when he should have been excited at the project’s near completion. Worst of all, Maria was missing from the center of the room, and in her place was a blackened husk of metal and junk.

Oli felt his heart stop. He took one shaking step towards the pile in the center of the room before collapsing on his knees in front of it. Gyrus started talking in that gentle way of his, about how there had been an accident, an electrical surge that had accidentally fried Maria, and how he was shutting down the project. But Oli wasn’t listening.

He brushed a trembling hand against the dark metal. A part of him expected to feel the electric hum beneath his fingertips. But there was nothing but cold, empty steel. A drop of water landed beside his hand, then another, and Oli gave into his tears as great, ugly sobs racked his body.

Gyrus came to sit beside him, placing a gentle hand on his shoulder. Oli allowed him to lead him to the bench and rub soothing circles in his back. “There was nothing you could have done Oli,” he said softly.

His words only served to heighten Oli’s despair. “Poor Maria,” he sobbed into his hands as his mind began to torture him with possibilities, “Maybe it was a flaw in my design!”

“Of course not,” Gyrus moved to grip his shoulder. “If you need to blame someone, blame me. But don’t blame yourself. You did everything you could for Maria.”

Oli wished with all his heart he could believe him.

One day the man brought his pleas to the gods, begging them to bring the woman he loved to life. Aphrodite heard him, and moved by his tale, she waved a hand and brought the statue to life.

Oli hurried down the corridor, head spinning. Nephthys was missing, Don was too, and his wheelchair was alone in the infirmary under a pile of rubble. The others were saying Gyrus was to blame, but Oli wasn’t so certain.

He remembered the last thing Nephthys had told him, about how the seven boss swords had been replaced, and how she needed to check on Kodya before getting to the bottom of it all. Now she was gone, and the last place she had been clearly contained signs of a struggle. Awfully convenient that the last person who had known something was amiss happened to die at the hands of madman, even when said madman was monitored so constantly there was no way he could access to the swords to make the switch.

No, something else was going on here, and he was the only one who knew. Which also meant he would be the attacker’s next target. He gulped, and prayed to every god he could think of that his friend would return.

The least he could do he supposed, was fix the infirmary wall. Maybe if he preserved the evidence he could look through for clues. Or at least have somewhere to hide. He stopped in front of it.

The act itself was easy enough, there were plenty of parts lying around in the rubble. In all honesty it took him maybe a minute. There. He turned to walk away, only to hear a vaguely familiar voice coming from behind him.

“... Who could have fixed it already?” the voice cried, sounding frustrated.

“I-I did!” Oli stuttered as he turned, afraid of the danger this strangely familiar voice could offer.

“Huh?” the voice said, and Oli flinched, but raised his eyes to meet the strangers. Her blue hair was swept up in a messy ponytail, her clothes were red and black in a foreign style Oli had never seen before, and she had a white stick of something in her mouth that reminded Oli vaguely of a fry. But there was no mistaking her face, the face Oli had labored painstakingly to fix.

“Maria?!” He exclaimed, hardly believing his own eyes.

“Oli!” she cried, expression brightening with a painfully familiar smile.

A sound came from behind her and her eyes widened, a note of fear in them as her companions glanced backwards. Oli wasted no time. He thrust a hand on the wall and forced the solid rock to give way, allowing her and her companions to flee inside. Then he stepped in himself, closing the wall behind him.

He knew he should turn the intruders over, but he didn’t care. Something was horribly wrong in the Room of Swords, enough so that he would take his chances.

Besides, he thought as he could hear the sounds of confusion coming from the other side. He had lost Maria once. He would not lose her again.

Gatalea threw her arms around the man and embraced him for the first time, and the man, Pgymalion, finally found joy.

#room of swords #room of swords fanfic #ros Oli #ros maria #gyrus #kodya #ros 127 #written in a frenzy

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oiloceansurfclub · 5 years

Text

Hamsters!

Here is some information on hamster care and behavior, for anyone who doesn’t already know, and for anyone who may be looking to get a hamster as a pet. I’m not a breeder, but I’ve done a lot of research on the topic (and own a couple hams of my own). I’ve probably forgotten a few key points, so I’ll add to this as needed. Also feel free to share your hamster experience, or ask any questions. I’ll answer to the best of my abilities! ❤️

1. Hamsters are not naturally aggressive animals. -This is the MOST common misconception I see with people who are debating getting a small animal for a pet. What turns a hamster aggressive, is the owner’s lack of understanding of how to care for the animal. Proper handling, treatment, diet, and general care will make for a happy hamster AND a happy owner! Read onward to learn more about hamster care.

2. Hamsters are crepuscular creatures. -Naturally, a hamster will want to sleep through daylight, or remain hidden if there is bright light in the room. Crepuscular animals are mostly active during dawn/dusk, though your hamster may also exhibit nocturnal behavior. If you try to awaken your hamster in the middle of the day, unless the hamster is used to you, you will likely frighten and/or irritate the hamster into acting aggressive and/or frightened. It’s best to let your hamster sleep through the day, and play with the hamster while it’s active in the evening.

3. There are different breeds of hamster, with varying needs. -Syrian Hamsters (or Golden/Teddy Bear/Fancy Bear) are the largest hamster breed, and are very commonly sold in pet stores. Males have noticeable scent glands on their hips, and large testicles under their tail. Females have noticeable nipples. -Dwarf Hamsters come in a few different breeds. In general, Males have one scent gland on their belly- their testicles may or may-not be so noticeable. It can be easy to misgender young dwarf hamsters, so make sure you are getting your hams from a reputable source.

4. Hamsters can not be housed together.* -Another VERY common problem I see with new hamster owners is keeping two or more hamsters together in one enclosure. Hamsters, especially Syrian, are very territorial. They are prone to fighting each other when in close proximity, and will even fight to the death. NEVER, EVER house your Syrian hamsters together. The hams you see living together in stores are still very young, once they are a few months old, they will begin to act territorial and need their own space.

*Some dwarf hamsters MAY be allowed to live together, so long as they are from the same litter, are of the same gender, and grew-up together. Should they exhibit any aggressive behavior toward each other, they should be separated immediately.

5. Hamsters will breed with their own family members. Believe it or not, many people still think that animals won’t breed with their own kin just because they’re related. This is absolutely not the case. If you choose to keep a small family of dwarf hamsters together, keep ONLY SAME GENDER HAMSTERS in one enclosure. Hamsters have a VERY fast gestation period and will breed more quickly than rabbits.

6. Hamsters do not usually eat their young. -A mother hamster will do what she can to care for her litter, and if you encounter a hamster with babies, do NOT touch them (unless you are a professional breeder who knows how to handle your hams). Mother hamsters may eat their young for a few reasons, mostly due to stress, or lack of food/nutrients. Leaving the mother be will reduce stress and let her raise her pups in a relaxed environment.

7. Hamsters can be trained. -Yes, that’s right. Hamsters are much more intelligent than most will give them credit for. Not only can your hamster learn your voice and its name, but it can even learn simple tricks with enough practice and patience! (and rewards... hamsters just love treats) If you spend enough time with your hamster (as you should daily), you’ll notice your hamster settling into a routine and including you as a part of its daily life.

8. Hamsters require a lot of space to live in. -Hamsters, especially the larger Syrian variety, thrive with ample space and bedding to burrow in. In nature, they spend hours every evening running around, gathering food, and digging their burrows. Syrian hamsters require a MINIMUM of 1′ x 2′ of space with at LEAST 2″ of bedding, but PLEASE aim for something larger. The more room your hamster has to run, the happier and healthier it will be, and the less stressed it will be!

9. Not all hamsters have the same personality. -Like people, hamsters will have varying wants and do-not-wants. Some hamsters may be more naturally passive, making them better for handling- while others are more skittish, requiring more personal space. It’s VERY important to be aware of your hamster’s personal preferences, and to not force your ham into doing something it doesn’t want to do. Taming your hamster can take weeks to months, be patient and reward your ham when it makes progress. Hamsters will associate behavior with treats, just like training a dog.

10. Hamsters are omnivores. -Similar to humans, hamsters can eat just about anything- and in the wild, they get plenty of animal protein, not just seeds and veggies. Be sure to keep a variety in your ham’s diet! Some hamsters enjoy meal worms and other insects, but cooked unseasoned chicken or cooked egg can also be a good source of protein for your ham. Hamsters can also eat dairy, though it’s not the healthiest food, a small piece of mild cheese or dried yogurt can be a fantastic treat and motivator while training. -Food bowls are good, but you should also sprinkle seeds around your hamster’s enclosure to give them something to forage for. This allows your ham to fulfill one of its natural needs, and give it something entertaining to do.

11. Give your hamster a controlled environment. -One key note on keeping your hamster’s stress levels low, is to make sure it’s in a comfortable room. This means keeping light down low, keeping noise to a minimum, and making sure your ham’s room is a comfortable temperature. For Syrian hamsters, 65 - 75 degrees F is the golden zone. Any colder or warmer and you’ll need to make adjustments. A cold rock placed inside the habitat can give your ham something to lean against when they need to cool down.

12. Get the right wheel. -I cannot stress this ENOUGH. There are so many wheels available, and most of the ones you find in pet stores are UNHEALTHY and DANGEROUS. Getting a wheel that’s too small will give your hamster back problems, reducing life span and increasing stress levels. -DO NOT BUY MESH WHEELS. Hamsters’ toes can become stuck in mesh wheels. Only buy a solid wheel, free of any bumps or divots, with a solid back so your hamster is not exposed to the wheel mechanisms while running. Most smooth plastic or solid metal wheels will do fine.

13. Give your hamster something to chew on. -Hamsters teeth grow constantly, so they always need chew toys. Specific types of wood, stone, seeds, and other hard materials can be put in your hams’ enclosure. Make sure the toys your provide are safe, as some things can be toxic and/or lodge in your hams’ digestive tract.

14. Hamsters can be potty trained. -Yep. Potty trained. While hamsters cannot control their bowel movements, they can control their bladders and will often choose a spot to go in. Observe your ham, they will usually choose a spot on their own and keep going in the same area. When cleaning this area, be sure to leave a tiny bit of soiled material behind so the hamster remembers where to go.

15. Never bathe your hamster in water. -Getting soaked can be fatal to a hamster. Never, ever get your hamster wet. A sand bath can (and should) be provided as a way for your ham to help cleanse itself. Do NOT get chinchilla dust, as the fine silt can clog a hamster’s airways. Instead, look into all natural reptile sand.

16. Hamster Balls -This is a very divided topic for most hamster owners. Some say a ball can be a fun way for your hamster to entertain itself, others say to stay clear of using a ball altogether as it can be dangerous. Here are a few pros and cons to keep in mind: -Pros: Gives your hamster a way to run around a room without the potential for getting lost and/or stepped on. Can fulfill the need to explore a wider space, and provide entertainment to you and your hamster. -Cons: Some hamsters dislike the ball and become stressed and scared when placed inside. Unsupervised hams can get lost and/or become injured while inside the ball. Some may even be able to break free and escape. Use your better judgement. If your hamster doesn’t seem to be enjoying the ball, stop use of the ball altogether.

17. Cages -This is another debated topic among owners, and it’s best to use your own judgement while observing your hamster. However, there are some general rules to keep in mind: -If your cage has bars, be sure the bars are small enough that your ham can NOT fit its head between them. If a hamster can fit its head into a space, the hamster can fit its entire body through the space, and escape. -Hamsters will almost always chew on bars. While this isn’t always a bad thing, it can sometimes be a sign of stress. Also, bar chewing is -very- noisy. -Hamsters will climb on bars. Again, not always a bad thing as climbing is a natural activity for a hamster, but it can lead to injury if there is not ample bedding beneath in case they fall down- or if the cage itself it too tall. -Large bins can be used as enclosures. A large storage bin, cleaned and free of any residues, can make a great space to keep a hamster. Be sure the bin has plenty of airflow- cover it with a metal mesh top instead of a lid. Also keep an eye on your ham, as they can and will chew through plastic if they are able.

-Aquariums and terrariums can make great homes. Just like other small animals, hamsters can live in a glass enclosure. Keep in mind that airflow isn’t as great in these setups, so the smells your ham generates will become more potent. You will need to clean these enclosures more often than others with greater airflow.

18. Cleaning -Hamsters make a lot of mess and stink for such small animals. Males may even mark territory, increasing the potency of their odors. It’s important to note that your hamster cannot control its bowel movements, and will go wherever it happens to be at the moment. -Spot clean daily. If you see any poop or pee, scoop it up and toss it out, replace with clean bedding as necessary. -Full cage cleanings depend on the size of the enclosure. Smaller cages require more frequent cleanings. Larger cages can go up to a month before full cleans, as long as you spot clean frequently. -Do not throw out ALL of your hamster’s bedding with a full clean. Your hamster becomes familiar with its own scent, and knows its home based on odor. When cleaning, be sure to leave a little bit of its old bedding in the cage, so it doesn’t get confused/frightened when placed into a clean habitat. -Hamsters are very clean themselves. Like cats, hamsters groom all the time. They like to keep themselves spotless, though it’s still important to wash your hands before and after handling, for your safety and for your hams’.

19. If you are able to do so, adopt from a shelter or a breeder. -Most rodents at pet stores come from rodent mills, which are facilities where rodents are mass-bred to be shipped out to pet stores. These animals are generally treated badly until they reach their final destination. While pet store hamsters can be good pets, they can also be more difficult to warm-up to their owners, and will be harder to train. On top of that, purchasing small animals from pet stores encourages rodent mills to keep mass producing (and harming) these critters. Independent breeders and shelters care for their animals, and will provide you with the best possible pet candidates, as well as supporting humane ways to treat small animals.

20. Do Your Research -This is just a bare-bones write up on general hamster behavior and care. If you’re looking to get a hamster as a pet, PLEASE research the type of hamster you’d like, and ALL the specifics that go into caring for your new friend. Just because hamsters are generally cheap at a pet store, does NOT mean they are always cheap to care for. They can require vet visits and special diets, just like any other animal.

Hamsters are small animals, but they are still living, loving creatures who deserve proper treatment and care. And with proper treatment and care, your hamster can be an incredible companion who will enjoy your company as much as you enjoy theirs. ❤️

#hamsters #hamster care #small animals #rodents #pets #small pets #important #pet care

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backdeck-potato-novelist · 4 years

Text

I Get The Feeling That I’m Right Where I Belong

Chapter 6

AO3

Beginning, Previous, Next

Chloe spent Saturday morning arguing with her father. She didn’t really know what about, just that she didn’t like how he had it planned. Once they had reached a settlement, one that was definitely more in her favor than the original plan had been, she moved on to negotiating with her mother. This discussion was about fashion, and so she was much more invested, to the point of actually caring to remember what she was arguing about. There was a charity gala and auction in two weeks, and Audrey had been working on a new line based on the local Parisian heroes that she wanted Chloe to wear to the gala. The event had something to do with raising money to help with disaster relief somewhere that had been hit by a hurricane, or maybe an earthquake, Chloe didn’t remember. Audrey wanted her in the Ladybug dress. Chloe finally managed to talk her mother down to the Queen Bee tuxedo. Audrey thought it was a bit tacky, Chloe going in an outfit inspired by her own super alter ego. Chloe knew that red did not do her complexion any good, but black and gold, especially the dark gold of this specific ensemble, looked fabulous on her. There was a reason her costume looked like it did. Chloe had also managed to convince Audrey that Kagami should at least try the Ladybug dress, and that if it worked for her, she should wear it to the gala. Chloe was very excited for whenever they would schedule Kagami’s fitting. Her dragon looked very good in red.

Adrien spent Saturday morning in his room. He did not want to be in his room, but he had haggled and bartered with Gabriel for an afternoon out. In exchange, he was stuck in his room. Two hours of piano, an hour of Mandarin, and finishing all of his homework for the next week was probably the second worst Saturday morning he could possibly imagine. The worst was a tie: either his current situation but without Plagg, or Gabriel seeing him on a date with Luka. The first would bore him out of his mind, and the second might result in police involvement. Neither was a good option.

Kagami spent Saturday morning baking. She particularly liked making cookies, and was absolutely fantastic at it, but Chloe loved her blondies, and so whenever she turned the oven on, she would make them. When she was younger, Kagami had decided that baking was stupid and any woman who wanted to bake and went out of her way to do so would only ever amount to being a housewife. That was until Marinette had befriended her, despite Kagami’s attempts to not be taken in by the girl’s charm. Kagami had come over to the bakery one afternoon, before she knew Marinette was Ladybug, and had accidentally ended up helping Sabine make a batch of cupcakes. She stopped by the library on the way home and checked out three cookbooks, and had turned it into a weekend tradition ever since. Marinette had also tried teaching Kagami to knit, though she hadn’t taken to the needles as quickly as the pots and pans.

Nino spent Saturday morning sleeping. He also spent the early afternoon sleeping.

Luka spent Saturday morning walking along the Seine. His mother’s boat could be rather restrictive, the sounds of the people and the water around him were very inspiring, and Juleka snored. A lot. After half an hour of slow meandering, he realised he had subconsciously been making his way towards Adrien’s house. As much as he wanted to see his boyfriend, he turned around. It wouldn’t do either of them any good for him to be seen by the adults of the Agreste manor. Three more weeks. They could wait three more weeks to be seen in public together.

Marinette and Alya spent Saturday morning in Marinette’s room. Marinette woke up first, and so spent some time embroidering a dress she was making for herself. Alya woke up when she rolled off the beanbag she had spent the night on. Marinette helped her back onto the cushion, joined her, and then the two girls spent quite some time pretending they were getting up and ready for the day. Eventually, Sabine poked her head into Marinette’s room and got them actually moving.

At exactly three o’clock, two unremarkable high school students entered the front door of the Grand Hotel of Paris. One of them said goodbye to the gorilla of a man who had driven him there. The other carried a large tote bag stuffed to the brim with somethings that looked suspiciously like cookies wrapped in aluminum foil and plastic wrap. When the first tried to reach for one, his hand was slapped away. Overhead, three superheroes went shooting across the sky, jumping and swinging from rooftop to rooftop. If anyone on the streets of Paris had looked up, they would have seen two blurs, one of red and one of orange. The third teal one was nearly invisible against the clear Parisian sky.

At seven minutes past three, a very disgruntled DJ slammed through the back door of the Grand Hotel of Paris, sprinted up the employee stairwell, and burst into one of the penthouse suites up on the fifteenth floor.

“You’re late,” Chloe said. She didn’t even bother turning around.

“Yeah, yeah, I overslept,” Nino grumbled, maneuvering around a large spread of papers on the floor. He made it to the sun room and collapsed into a large and fluffy armchair. “Did I miss anything?”

“We ate all of Kagami’s cookies without you,” Adrien announced around a mouthful of said cookies.

“What, really?” Nino sat bolt upright. Wayzz emerged from Nino’s hat and flitted around his wearer’s head.

“No, not really. I saved some for both of you.” Alya came and sat down in the chair with Nino, forcing her boyfriend to move over. She handed him a plate piled with cookies and blondies. As Nino breathed a sigh of relief, Wayzz did a little celebratory spin in the air before landing on the plate.

“Thank you, Alya,” the Kwami smiled, before he began eating.

“You’re welcome, Wayzz.”

“Now that everyone’s here, we can actually begin,” Marinette said, cutting off the turtle’s response. “Because, y’know, we’re here to do more than just hangout.” She gave Alya and Nino a look. Alya winked back while Nino had the decency to look sheepish, before sprawling out across Alya’s lap. “So Chloe, I hand it over to you. Any updates?”

“Thanks, Maribug.” The blonde stood up at the head of the table. “To make it short, I’ve got nothing. No progress, at least, since last weekend. We’ve had the list of people who have the time, money, and schedule to be Hawkmoth for a while. Mayura’s been a little trickier to track down, but I am working on that. As bad as it is, the more they attack together, and really the more akuma attacks in general, the easier it is to track them down. I still haven’t gotten into the city camera network. I mean, it’s a long shot, but as far as I know, you can see akumas on film and tracking them all across the city would narrow that list down a ton. So, uh, yeah. That’s my update. Next?” Chloe sat back down. Kagami reached over and grabbed her hand to give a little squeeze.

“Cool. Thank you, Chloe. Alya, how’s the online scene? Anything going on?” Marinette turned to her best friend.

Alya stood up, prompting a whimpered “No” from Nino as his pillow left.

“Yes. Big time. Someone got a photo of Viperion and Chat Noir having a midnight picnic on the Eiffel Tower. Roses, candles, that whole aesthetic you two put together every time. They posted it on Wednesday and people want answers.”

There was a beat of silence, broken by the sound of Adrien’s head hitting the table.

“Can’t you take it down?” Luka asked, rubbing his boyfriend’s back. “I feel like that would be much easier than, well, any of your other options.” Alya shrugged awkwardly.

“As your friend and teammate, I want to. As a journalist running the largest and best superhero blog in the whole country, I can’t. It would raise too many questions. For the sake of keeping our identities well hidden, I need to not just keep the photo up, but react big. As far as everyone else is concerned, Bug and Chat were a thing this whole time. The photo is a big shock, and I need to treat it as such. So, Marinette, Adrien, Luka, can we coordinate that after this? I think an interview would probably be a good idea.”

Marinette and Luka nodded as Adrien grumbled “Ok” from his facedown position

“And Adrien! I appreciate that you play favorites with the Ladyblog, but you don’t need to turn down interviews with other people. Aurore is a very nice person, and her blog is actually pretty dang cool. She just happens to be a regular civilian and so can’t organize interviews with any of you whenever she wants to. So, as a general note for everyone, you can take interviews with other journalists. I’m not holding you to some kind of exclusive contract. Oh, and Gami? This applies to you too. Please be nice to other reporters. Please. People look up to you. Children admire you. Be a good role model and please stop threatening people who have cameras or mics.” Alya gave Kagami a mock glare. Kagami glared back, before sighing and shrugging.

“Fine. I will attempt to be less rude to those who have made it their mission in life to invade my privacy and personal space.”

“I’m willfully choosing to pretend you aren’t being sarcastic, so thank you. With that, it’s back to you, Marinette.”

“Thank you for that, Alya. Alright, next-” Marinette stopped suddenly. “Did any of you hear that?”

Adrien was just about to ask “hear what?” when there was a scream from the streets. As one, the seven miraculous wielders were up and moving out onto Chloe’s balcony, trying to determine where the scream had come from.

It didn’t take long to spot the source of the terror. Up near the Eiffel Tower, smoke filled the air as five explosions went off in quick succession. With a resounding crash that echoed off the Paris skyline, the Tower itself toppled to the ground.

“Well,” Marinette groaned. “Duty calls.” She quickly backed away from the edge of the balcony, out of sight of the street below. With a flip of her hair, Marinette whispered, “Tikki, spots on!”

The six other heroes mirrored the actions of their leader, and within seconds, they were leaping across the sky.

Damian spent Saturday morning glaring at Tim. Despite all prior evidence suggesting it was impossible, Tim had slept the entire flight over to France, as well as through most of the morning in Paris. Damian had slept on the plane, but decided not to sleep at the hotel, as much as his jet lag protested. If anything, that was why he wanted to stay awake. He was here for a month. The sooner he could get over the five hour time difference, the better. Tim was of the opposite mindset. In the five minutes of quasi-conscious conversation Damian extracted from him in the car over to the hotel, Tim explained that since this was a fake recon mission, he was going to be remaining on Gotham’s schedule. His rationale involved something to do with board meetings. Damian thought that was all a bunch of bullshit to excuse sleeping in until 5 pm on a Saturday.

As three twenty rolled around, Damian was suddenly very glad that Tim was still holed up and passed out in the hotel room. The explosions that shook the building could only mean one thing, and as skilled as Red Robin was, he had never fought an akuma before. Technically, Robin never had either, but he’d supported Team Miraculous more than a few times and had even been a part of Ladybug’s backup plan once.

Three minutes later, Robin was standing on the roof of the hotel. It wasn’t difficult to see the smoke rising from where the Eiffel Tower had stood only minutes ago. Unclipping his grappling hook from his belt, he began to pray that his angel would be there soon. He was good, one of the best in the world, but even gods were occasionally too much for him.

Oh well. He’d do what he can for now.

#miraculous #miraculous ladybug #marinette dupain cheng #adrien agreste #luka coffaine #Nino lahiffe #alya cesaire #chloé bourgeois #Kagami Tsurugi #daminette #adrien x luka #alya x nino #chloé x kagami #my fic #marinette x damian

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