#badass valkyrie about to kill her abuser and having a good time doing it

[bookofmirth]

You know.. as much as I loved the badass moment Feyre had when she made Tamlin see her and Lucien hug in Acowar, I also disliked that moment because we don't know what happened right after Feyre left Lucien and Tamlin alone. Just like Feyre said, Tamlin feared that Feyre might fall in love with Lucien in the first book and therefor warned Lucien (or even threatend him?). She took that as an opportunity to see Tamlin suffer and it was stated that she wanted him to suffer when she was still at the spring court, however she never considered how Lucien might feel. Isn't she well aware that Tamlin is not only her abuser but also Lucien's? The reason why he couldn't help her much was because of Tamlin. He got threatened and beaten by him. Tamlin always shut him down whenever Lucien tried to put sense into his head. So what happened right after she left them alone in that room? I hate how people expect Lucien to be more helpful to Feyre when she never really considered his feelings as well. She only wanted to get back at Tamlin in acowar, doesn't trust him after what her mate said, gets mad at him for not wanting to live in the NC and wanting to give Elain her space and time, makes fun of him and the BOE and doesn't even defend Lucien when the IC gets at him, especially Rhys. Feyre is not the only victim and she needs to get that into her head. Also, weren't Lucien and Feyre friends first? I hate how she just didn't care about their friendship anymore right after she met the IC (and then says bullshit like "Oh Cassian could kill Lucien in a second") *sigh* I just hope nothing serious happened in that room between Lucien and Tamlin.

- she idolizes the IC way too much. They are not that great and trusting. I prefer the Valkyries (+ Cassian and Azriel) over them. Glad that Nesta sees the bullshit the IC pulls off and even she acknowledges Lucien's worth.

(The IC was great in Acomaf, fine in Acowar, a little annoying in Acofas, and really annoying in Acosf)

Oh I hate that entire scenario with my core. It’s been four years and I still loathe the whole thing.

If Feyre had identified Tamlin’s weakness (jealousy) and exploited that, fine. She was able to do that and come off as innocent and meek. Great. But what you said - what happened between Tamlin and Lucien when they were alone? We know now that Tamlin has been physically violent with Lucien. And Feyre put him right in the path of that anger, on purpose.

There is just an intentionality to Feyre’s actions in acowar that really rubs me the wrong way, considering how many people she hurt in the process. People who had nothing to do with her relationship, and were at as much of if not more of a disadvantage as she was re: dealing with Tamlin.

And you know, it’s all well and good for Mor to go swooping in to save feyre and defy Tamlin, and for Feyre to think about how they all would have helped her in that scenario. But pit Mor, Cassian, and Azriel against Rhys, put them between her and their bestie and high lord, and what would they actually do? I didn’t include Amren because she doesn’t gaf.

[redsplash1]

Alright y’all, I was bored and wanted to ignore my hw, so I made a tier list on everyone’s lore and a quick writeup for each placement. Just an fyi this is my opinion and will most likely change as we get more story content, but right now this is where I stand (no arguing please, or at least nothing that’ll result in name calling and such)

But yeah this is something I’ll probably look back on and be like “hmm maybe I was too harsh with my rankings” but rn it’s like 2:30 in the morning so yeah

TW: mention of abuse in Octane’s section

All of it will be under the cut

S Tier

Bloodhound: Maybe I’m biased because I’m a BH main, but imo their lore is the most interesting and nuanced out of everyone’s. From their parents, to their uncle, to Boone, and now their planet, Bloodhound’s backstory, current lore, and character is fantastic and honestly peak writing from Respawn atm.

Wraith: I understand that not everyone loves the “I lost my memory and am now trying to find out who I am” trope, and maybe this is also biased because I’m a complete Wraith simp, but her lore to me is also very unique and well done. The entire Voidwalker cinematic alone is what’s basically putting her in S tier, but I also love how she is the prime definition of “Looks like they can kill you, but is actually a cinnamon roll” instead of your typical edgy girl that coldly pushes everyone away.

A Tier

Horizon: Interstellar but make it Scottish. She has really nice interactions with Mirage and Wattson, and there’s plenty of potential with where her character can go now that Ash is in the picture.

Gibraltar: While his lore isn’t as flashy like the ones in S tier, I still think it’s really good. For one, it’s consistent, and the stuff with Nik and Michael is very bittersweet. I really like how despite the tragedies in his life, like BH, that only made him more determined to do the right thing. 10/10 he’s got your back bruddahs

Mirage: Respawn’s poster boy, so it’s only natural that he gets a shitload of lore. Fortunately, it’s not shit and actually fleshes him out as a character greatly. I also really like the canon sibling relationship he has with Rampart. Now that his dad may or may not force himself into the picture soon, it’s gonna be more character development for Mirage either way.

Borderline

I’ll explain this tier real quick. Basically they’re between A and B; they have the potential to be great, but they’re being held back by a certain something.

--

Bangalore: Pathfinder’s Quest did a really good job fleshing her out, but the love triangle and inconsistent behavior towards Wraith isn’t doing her any favors. It’s a shame, because characters like Anita are really unique and not seen often. I can only hope Respawn realizes that no, love triangles are not the peak writing they think it is.

Loba: Same deal here, that love triangle and her rebounding off Valk is really not doing anything good towards her character. They’re adults, are they not capable of communicating? Like Bangalore, she’s also really unique in the sense that she’s a bisexual woman of color in a video game who is a complete girlboss and inspiration. Respawn stop fucking up your characters please!

B Tier

Revenant: He’s really badass, and his lore is fun, it’s just that the writing is making him look like a complete joke. He gets clowned on every time he’s about to do something cool and it’s honestly kinda sad. If the writing could give him a few kills to his name to actually establish that he’s a threat, I’ll put him up higher.

Octane: If this was fanon Octane, he’d be an automatic S tier. Respawn needs to flesh out his backstory some more, like most of the fanfics do. That one comic where he confronts his dad was 10/10, we just need more of that and actually tackling the effects his father’s abuse had on him. Also the potential history he has with Seer is a good opportunity to explore more of his character, so that’s a good start.

Rampart: Just recently she’s getting lore, and all of it is very good so far. The relationships she has with a lot of the legends are very strong, and the foreshadowing towards Big Sister returning is also a huge plus.

Fuse: The Maggie stuff was honestly really fucking lame (I blame the ingame comics for this), for me what’s really carrying his character rn are the Fusehound interactions. Idrc if it ends up platonic or romantic, all Ik is that there is a lot of potential in fleshing out Fuse as a character either way.

C Tier

Pathfinder: Okay I’m not gonna lie, I have conflicted feelings on Path. He got an entire book to himself dedicated to his own lore, along with a cinematic that gave a visual on what actually happened to his creators, and yet I don’t care for his lore??? Thinking about it, it’s probably because he didn’t really get any character development, he ultimately stayed the same (except that one moment where Revenant screwed with him, but he bounced back literally one chapter later). Also, it honestly looks like his story is over anyway, he just has to find his kid. At least his personality is 10/10 though

Lifeline: Y’all are probably thinking, why is Lifeline here and not Octane + vice versa, isn’t their lore basically the same? It’s because imo Octane has more potential character development atm, and Lifeline doesn’t really have any character interactions that don’t have to do with her childhood friend, so that to me is what’s separating her from Octane. Lol again if this were fanon Lifeline she’d probably be in A tier, borderline S tier.

D Tier

Valkyrie: Literally the first thing that happens to her in the lore is that she gets thrown into a love triangle. I understand that it’s in her character to be flirty and stuff, but a love triangle? Really? Ms. Kairi Imahara deserves sm better than that. Honestly the only reason she’s not in F tier is because I like her personality, along with the Northstar cinematic.

Seer: Tbh, there isn’t a lot we know about Seer. However, what we know about him so far isn’t detrimental and for me the reason he isn’t in F tier. The interactions he has so far have the potential to be explored.

E Tier

Wattson: Man. I wish she wasn’t here, but the fact that almost all her lore involves babysitting two grown men really killed her character for me. Fanon Wattson is a million times more enjoyable to me, Respawn needs to seriously consider giving her independent lore and/or branch out to other characters that aren’t Crypto and Caustic.

Crypto: Same thing, the fact that he’s strictly tied to Wattson and Caustic rn is annoying and stupid. It also doesn’t help that literally nothing about his personal lore has been addressed recently (Mila, clearing his name).

F Tier

Caustic: If he were actually established as a proper villain, he’d be way higher. But no, Respawn wants to play rock paper scissors with this guy; one second he literally wants to gas a city, the next he’s playing nice because “Wattson blackmailed him?” Lol I don’t fucking think so. I’m not saying a redemption arc for Caustic is impossible, it’s just that Respawn did a really shitty job in actually convincing people that he deserves it. And yes, even the whole deal with his mom isn’t doing it for me. Nah fuck this guy sorry y’all, he’d be way better as a villain imo

TLDR: Fanon does it better

[liver-of-prometheus]

A conversation I had tonight part 2, electric boogaloo: a thread

Me: So, on the subject of Loki and Hogun

ever notice how in Thor, Hogun is the only person to not do any of these?: a: brush off Loki's abuse, b: convince him it was fine, c: mock or hate him, d: deny Loki's abuse existed bc "they're our friends, how could they hate you?" "your friends Thor, your friends."

Jay: Yes

Me: and, when Thor flips a table, Loki's watching him

the warriors 3 and sif walk into the room

Hogun takes one look at the overturned table, then looks at Loki

he has an expression as if he's asking "What did thor shout about this time? Are you alright?"

when they're walking to the bifrost, Hogun watches Loki talk to the guard

he says nothing, and the look on his face suggests he also wanted to have a guard get odin, and quickly

i bet he also hoped heimdall would stall them

he's the only one that ever shows genuine concern for loki

in jotunheim, Hogun heeds Loki's yell first

he doesn't want to be there either

he'd hoped there wouldn't be fighting

Jay: Too bad they just fucking stabbed him to death

Me: and in the throne room, when they want to retrieve thor, Hogun looks confused, then understanding, and then even worried about loki's well-being

the "arrogance" from loki sitting on the throne?

it's power rush

hogun can see it

and he's secretly hoping that bringing thor back will help

I'm fairly sure in their youth, loki and hogun would've had some very intelligent discussions

but as they grew older, loki started seeing hogun's concern as suspicion

all because of how everyone else treated him

just because he's kinda emo, and looks kinda adopted, didn't make him less of a prince

I think that as thor's advisor he'd be one hell of a politician, and tactician

he's an Odinson in name, if nothing else

Jay: And Odin was like you can both be kings, but not you loki you're a d o p t e d

Me: that makes him a prince

"you were both born to be kings but only one can rule"

wakanda bullshit is that?!

Jay: They would be so much better as a team

Even though thor kinda sucks

Me: Thor's head has been up his ass his whole life

Jay: That might be mostly odins fault tho

Me: he's blind to his brother's plight

and was coddled and over praised by literally everyone

no wonder he doesn't understand loki's anger

thor fans are idiots

Jay: Mmhm

Me: also, [I showed a picture of Thor, Loki and Hela]

who looks adopted

Jay: THERE WE GO

Me: the brown-haired jock with lightning powers?

Jay: the two who got fucked over by Odin are the emo ones

Me: or the two magic users with the most badass colour scheme out there

and loki's supposed to be adopted

Jay: Its a p a t t e r n

Me: sure

yeah, loki's the foundling

says the guy who made his daughter into a blood-hungry war mongering lunatic

who covers up any and all mistakes

who coddled and built up his second, making him feel as though he could have anything

Jay: He literally wanted to erase both "problem children" by locking them away

Oh my god I'm getting really pissed Odin FUCKING S U C K S

Me: while simultaneously breaking down and shattering the personage of his youngest, teaching them to fear their own blood

and body

ODIN IS THE WORST FATHER IN CINEMATIC HISTORY

Jay: bitch don't even deserve the title

Me: howard stark and thanos wish they were as terrible as him

ODIN SHOULD HAVE NEVER BEEN KING

I WOULD'VE EVEN SETTLED FOR FUCKING TYR

HE WOULDVE BEEN A BETTER DAD

SURELY THE LITERAL GENERAL OF THE ARMIES WOULD SEE SOME VALUE IN AT LEAST POWERING UP AND COMING PREPARED WITH AN EXTRA KNIFE

AND STRATEGY OVER BRUTE FORCE

BECAUSE THAT WORKED SOOOO WELL WHEN ODIN SENT THE VALKYRIES TO FIGHT HELA

Jay: ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Me: why do asgardians hate magic anyway?

Jay: I was actually about to get into that

Me: in the myths, even though it wasn't very vikinger or manly, the aesir and vanir and alfar were cool with it

welcomed it

and used it so often

THE LITERAL MONARCHS AND ALL SEEING GATEKEEPER OF ASGARD USE MAGIC ON A DAILY BASIS

WTF IS WRONG WITH CONVENIENCE?

magic makes things easier

and it's great for augmenting fighting

and works great on trial

Jay: and not only convenience long range is better strategy than melee

Me: if they even really have those

long range produces fewer casualties

Jay: exactly

Me: surely a society built on war would recognise that

it's easier

Jay: But no

Me: volley arrows, have people with knives and swords come round from the back, surround the enemy, kill them

Jay: Odin just likes raw power that only he can have at whoever else's expense

Me: then pick up your stuff when it's over

ODIN is a control freak

no one can convince me otherwise

Jay: Odin is a bitch

Me: anyone that likes mcu odin is destined to be an abuser in a relationship

Jay: Pissing me off Odin and heimdall

Heimdall is all seeing Yet loki is getting tortured by thanos after he tried to kill himself when Odin still told him he wasn't good enough, and he's getting tortured and what does Heimdall do?

N o t h i n g

Thor still thought loki was dead

Me: Heimdall couldn't him see my ass

he can see through space and time

but not a collection of asteroids?

bullshit

they didn't look

Jay: Plus they should be keeping track of thanos anyway

Me: yeah

Jay: So maybe they did look

Me: he's been killing for decades

Thor, Odin, and Frigga are three of the worst people

"it is only by the grace of your mother that you are alive"

bitch he wanted to die

he knew thanos would come for him at some point

frigga didn't want him to die because it would look bad on her as a mother

Jay: That makes me mad too when people are like lol loki faked his death on the bridge

Me: "define worse" is right

Jay: BITCH no

He wanted to die

Me: not faked

tried

and failed

he wanted to die

he couldn't

Jay: And launched himself off a fucking bridge

Into the void

[therealkatekane]

My Journey

At the tender age of thirty-five, I have discovered anime. Don’t get me wrong, I first watched Princess Mononoke at sixteen. It was my first exposure to Eastern thought, and it blew my tiny adolescent western mind, and I loved it. But outside of Ghibli movies and Voltron (which I don’t count), I’ve never sought it out on my own.

As a previous post might indicate, I am obsessed with Godzilla, so it isn’t as if I’m closed off from Japanese media. Most of the video games I play are Japanese. (Fire Emblem, Harvest Moon, Rune Factory, pretty much anything Nintendo.) One of my partners is even a Pacific Islander of Japanese descent, who lived in Japan, who speaks Japanese. And we’ve been together seven years. But all of the sudden, now I’m on this quest to make up for lost time and consume all the anime I can.

(Note: If you have suggestions, I would love them. But I would prefer if they were queer. I want women in love with other women. It doesn’t have to be overt, but I don’t want any heterosexual romances, and would prefer as few male characters as possible. I’ve seen enough male-driven storylines, thanks.)

But today, I am here to word-vomit all about the queer extravaganza that is Senki Zesshou Symphogear. Because I am addicted. I’ll start with this picture.

And so begins our journey...

The show starts out the gate being super gay. Tsubasa (Blue) and Kanade (Red) are each a half of the singing duo Zwei Wing. They refer to one another as partners and there is a lot of “We can do anything as long as we’re together” and “I’m going to sing with you forever” type stuff.

Then there is Hibiki and Miku:

Friends since childhood, they are the core couple of the show. Hibiki is the main character who typically discovers she’s not just a normal girl and has the ability to wield a Gear, which allows her to become this adorable badass superhero. Miku is her anchor in the mundane world. She is frequently the one person or thing that can reach/inspire/motivate Hibiki. She is what drives Hibiki.

Hibiki calls Miku her sunflower, the place where she is warmest, where she will always return to. 

Which brings me to the point that they share a bed. Despite having bunk beds, they always sleep together. Except when they’re fighting, then they go to their respective bunks. It’s just so cute.

The characters are delightfully complex. Hibiki is as pure as the driven snow but she isn’t naive. Usually, pure characters are oblivious or ignorant to the danger or evil around them, but Hibiki isn’t. She knows fighting is dangerous. She knows people can be evil, but those things never deter her. It makes her incredibly brave, even when confronted with someone she knows is malicious, she extends her hand in friendship because she chooses to believe the best in others. It is nice to see a character who is sweet and pure without being an utter dumbass. 

We’ve all seen it. The sweet, precious hero is surprised that the bad guy who has been trying to kill them for an entire season won’t be their friend. Hibiki is NOT like that. She always gives people the opportunity for kindness without expectation, with the full awareness that it might be rejected.

Miku is the sweet, somewhat demure, nurturing one. She is the caretaker character. You might initially think she’s the standard timid and meek best friend stock character. But nope. She does not suffer fools. She is not an enabler. She is not afraid to call anybody out on their bullshit, regardless of who they are. She does what she thinks is right which also makes her very brave. She wants to protect Hibiki as much as Hibiki protects her.

Their dynamic is just lovely. Hibiki can kind of be a mess sometimes. She’s absent-minded, never on time, doesn’t prioritize school work. Miku is always there to pull her back down to earth, to center her. If she feels Hibiki is losing focus or deviating from who she is, Miku will always be the one to ground her. She truly is Hibiki’s anchor, her safe place. And I love it.

Oh and there is my dear Yukine Chris. I won’t go super in detail, but I will leave you with this:

It is exactly what it looks like. A queer D/s relationship. Unfortunately, it’s toxic and unhealthy. A whole lot of “I’m the only one that can love you” and “You have to obey me or I won’t love you anymore” and “I’m angry so you have to let me take it out on you” and so on. It’s all taken directly from the Abusive Relationship Handbook.

But worry not, we are not subjected to the toxicity for terribly long, and Chris gets the kindness and love she deserves from her new friends and senpai. I’d go more in depth, but y’know... spoilers.

Now, let us march forward to season two where our Roster of Queerness is completed by three additional characters. Two of which are so cute I cannot even fucking stand it. 

I call them my Precious Gay Babies.

Kirika and Shirabe are two little baby gays that grew up in an orphanage with only one another and Maria, who is like a big sister to them. But oh my fucking god they are so precious I can’t even handle it.

Kirika is the more animated of the two. The sweet, cheerful ray of sunshine. And Shirabe is the quieter, more solemn of the two. They literally have a fight where they are shouting back and forth at each other how much they love one another. If this show was only about them, I would watch it. They are just way too cute.

Shirabe can be a little possessive of Kirika, and Kirika knows who she belongs to. If another girl touches her, she knows Shirabe will put the stomp down on it. I usually find behavior like that kind of squicky and toxic, but in this instance it isn’t too gross because I think it’s rooted in their background. They’ve only ever had one another so they’re extremely protective of each other.

I mean, just look.

Look at my Precious Gay Babies!

LOOK AT THEM!! 

They are so cute and precious and I love them.

Let me wrap this up with Maria.

I won’t go too in depth with Maria because I don’t want to be spoiler-y. But 1) She’s fantastic. 2) No, I don’t know what’s up with her hair. 3) She is totally queer for Tsubasa, and I’m sailing on that ship. 

I am midway through the fourth season. So, I haven’t caught up to the most current season (5) but holy hell. I am invested.

It’s just a bunch of girls (oh! And there is even a genderless, sexless character who is precious and I love) being in love with other girls and fighting monster things.

I fucking love this show. Right now, it’s kind of vying for top spot with Valkyrie Drive: Mermaid. Which may only be my number one because it’s a little more overt in its women sleeping with other women thing. It’s equal parts “fuck yes!” combined with “am I high right now?” That’ll be my next post, I digress.

If you are in the mood for some light but surprisingly good entertainment featuring a strong line of female characters who all fall in love with one another, then I cannot recommend Senki Zesshou Symphogear enough. It is fan-fucking-tastic. It doesn’t require too much thought, but it makes up for it by giving you a ton of warm, fuzzy feels.

And if you can recommend me anything similar. Or anything that heavily features queer women, I would be forever in your debt.

Oh, and PS there is a mobile game, which is how I found the show in the first place. Downloaded the game, played it, then got all fucked up on the anime. Worth it.

[trick-photography1]

Are there any comics you're reading now that you'd recommend?

Oooh, comic recs. This ask makes me so happy!!! How much time do you have?

Alright, well let me preface this by saying I primarily read Marvel. Right now I’m rereading the Jason Aaron run of Jane Foster’s Mighty Thor which was AMAZING so I highly recommend that one. (Shameless self promotion, but I wrote a fic about that story - I love those comics so much.)

Before COVID, I was reading the following titles:

Star (which is a spin off of Captain Marvel where Riley was pulled into some shenanigans, came back as a hero who was actually a villain)

Hawkeye: Freefall because… Hawkeye being a bit of a fail boat and just generally a good story that pulls in a lot of other Marvel characters

Valkyrie: Jane Foster which is a continuation of her story in the Mighty Thor comics

Captain Marvel

Captain America

Ms. Marvel

Falcon & Winter Soldier (BUCKY WITH A CAT ON A MOTORCYCLE!)

Right now new comics are kind of on a pause and it’s kinda hard to figure out what Marvel is putting out. I know they pushed the last 2 Star and Hawkeyes out on digital.

Looking at my older stuff, the first comic I actually bought was an omnibus of Brubaker’s Captain America where he introduces the Winter Soldier, and then the Death of Captain America where we get BuckyCap. Those will always hold a special place in my heart, and I go back and reference them sometimes when I’m writing fic.

If you’re looking for a more fun dynamic, I really loved Tales of Suspense: Hawkeye and Winter Soldier which is a short run team up where they’re trying to track down someone who is killing Nat’s old enemies (I have not and will not read Secret Empire Nazi Cap  but all you need to know is that Nazi Cap kills Nat during the run, which they cover in the beginning). Her two ex boyfriends think she may actually be alive and go looking for her which leads to some amazing snarky interactions between the two.

Winter Soldier: Second Chances is a more recent short run where Bucky is basically running a witness protection situation for reformed villain minions that are trying to get out of the life. He ends up taking a kid under his wing and trying to figure out how to help a young kid being forced to kill.

Nathan Edmondson’s 2014 Black Widow run with Phil Noto is hands down one of my favorite story and artwork combos. Not only do you get to see Nat being a bad ass, you also get to see her in her daily life and trying to make a difference. This story brought in a ton of additional characters from Bucky and Clint to X-23 and Frank Castle, and even a surprise cameo by Anderson Cooper!

Here’s the obligatory rec for Matt Fraction’s Hawkeye run. Amazing, loved it but you can read a million other people’s rave reviews.

One run that I actually really enjoyed but kind of started on a whim was Chelsea Cain’s 2016 Mockingbird. I started reading it because I was interested in Bobbi Morse on Agents of SHIELD and DAMN did I find out how much of a badass she was on her own. The story starts out with her going to a SHIELD clinic because she’s got to get weekly check ups and is kind of starting to get some superpowers. Clint and Lance Hunter, her ex’s, are featured in the story.

Charles Soule’s 2014 She Hulk run is another favorite. I love extremely competent lawyer Jennifer Walters who just happens to also be 7 foot tall emerald green She-Hulk. The story follows her starting at a new practice and trying to balance her drive to help the little guy with needing to charge billable hours. It also intersects with the old man Steve storyline when she represents him in a wrongful death suit facing off against Marvel’s other superhero lawyer Matt Murdock/Daredevil!

If you’re looking for a non-superhero comic, Ed Brubaker’s Fadeout is my favorite. It follows WW2 vet and Hollywood screenwriter Charlie Parish who wakes up from a blackout in the same room as a murdered starlet from the film he’s working on. This has the feel of an old Hollywood film noir who done it and talks about PTSD and the Red Scare. I do want to put a trigger warning on it that it does touch on sexual abuse but it isn’t explicit.

These are just the ones that come to mind off the top of my head. If I was at my apartment I’m sure I could pull a lot more of them.

As an aside, I know that getting into comics can kind of be cost prohibitive. While I 1000% recommend going in and supporting your local shop, I also know sites like GetComics.info are helpful if you just want to browse before diving in. I may have gotten a few off there myself when money was tight or I wasn’t super invested in a character. Just make sure you have a CBR program so you can read them once they’re downloaded.

Hope this helps! And happy reading!

[itsjustashipperlife]

ENDGAME THOUGHTS

So here it is. The longest post I’ll ever write, so bear with me. (I’m not kidding, this is HUGE).

I watched Endgame at 7 pm yesterday… Came back home at 11. And I posted that I would try to sleep and make this post today. You know how many hours I slept? Four. And I finally fell asleep at 3.30 am.

I will try to say all my thoughts on this post, so if I miss something, I’m sorry. (Note: although I like more characters, the IronFam, pepperony, irondad… Will be the main concerns here, so anti Tonys, get the fuck out)

SPOILERS AHEAD

I will try to say things that I liked first, then the ones that I didn’t like, and then we’ll get to the OG6 ends, okay? Okay.

THINGS I LIKED:

The whole movie has that atmosphere that this was it. The Endgame. And it really makes you anxious for the characters. 

Clint’s first scene with his family is heartbreaking

Tony being so soft (a dad) with Nebula was fucking everything

Although it was expected,  Carol rescuing Tony and Nebula was great. (I guess it’s because the message for Pepper was received… because then why was she waiting there?)

Tony saying “I lost the kid” killed me, and then he finally calms down when Pepper hugs him

Tony’s kiss on Pepper’s cheek

Tony cutting out Steve’s bullshit had me going “Yeah, honey! That’s it”

Seriously, he looks (and feels) like shit. And he gets the strength to get up, rip off his IV, and call him out before his body can’t stand anymore

What’s left of the team trying to fix it all, going to Thanos without second thoughts and killing him once and for all (okay, maybe not “forever”, but you know… Thor finally went for the head)

That “5 years later” gasp, seeing how the world is “moving on” after the decimation

Everyone’s fucking done, and tired, and hopeless (e.g. Nat, Steve, Rocket and Nebula, Rhodey, Clint…)

Nat’s break down, trying to stay positive about Clint, and about everything (also, Rhodey helping her, looking for Clint… Because in this blog, we love and respect Colonel James ‘Rhodey’ Rhodes)

Scott getting back from the quantum realm after (for him) 5 hours, to finally reunite with his now grown up daughter

Tony “moving on” (kinda). He has the life he said he wanted since AoU, with Pepper as his wife and his daughter, and living on a beautiful farm, away from everyone

Tony being the BEST DAD the MCU will ever see (no hate on Clint or Scott tho, it’s just my opinion). He loves her so much, and she loves her daddy too (3000

Morgan with the Rescue helmet

Tony kissing it

He carrying her inside to have dinner

The team getting to his house for help, cause he’s the only one that can do it

That shot of Tony pouring drinks for everyone in which we see his wedding band (because, of course, and like RDJ, Tony is that kind of man)

He being selfish about trying what Scott said. He has every right to be. Although Peter’s not there, he has Morgan. And he wants to be there for her. He’s allowing himself to be selfish for the first time in 15 years (being 2023 in the MCU right now… I think… technically…)

But… he’s Tony Stark. The selfless man the world will ever know. He can fix it, and he will

Nat, Scott and Steve talking with Bruce… or Hulk… or Proffesor Hulk (let’s call him Bruce)

Tony being domestic: doing the dishes, tucking his daughter in, the “I love you 3000″, and him being so cute with Morgan like… “whoa, honey, that’s a lot… that’s more than ‘tons’"

Him resolving the problems of the “time-travels” in a couple of hours… I stan one man… Also, Morgan seeing her daddy work and getting ice-cream before going to sleep. Again, the best dad

Once again, Tony being domestic talking with Pep (aka his wife, aka the love of his life, aka the mother of his daughter, aka his goddess, boss and queen), asking her what should he do, and Pepper, like always, being his voice of reason

Scott and Bruce trying to work with the quantum realm 

Tony driving to the compound like the badass he is (also, while being a badass, still being a dad and putting toys and a teddy bear out the way of Cap’s shield)

Bruce and Rocket looking for Thor, the appereance of Valkyrie, Korg and Miek, and Thor playing Fortnite. (I found all of Thor’s scenes very funny, but at the same time I didn’t feel like it was okay to laugh about it. He’s clearly depressed during the whole film, and every character-like every person- deal with depression and ways to cope in different ways… so I don’t think that laughing at Fat Thor was nearly okay)

Clint being a badass

His scene with Nat, holding hands

Rhodey with the best fucking idea of the movie (go back in time to baby Thanos, and… you know the rest). Again, I love this man

Bruce freaking out about it. And explaining the way the MOVIE works

Clint being succesful on the first try

The WHOLE scenes of the “domestic” team, getting up ideas of how they’re going to recollect the stones (Loved every single one of them, and I would gladly watch a film that was all about Nat, Tony and Bruce lying on a table and talking)

Jane Foster making a come-back (kinda)… Also, Thor is me when I’m doing a presentation 

Rocket calling Scott “puppy”

The team prepared. The whole “you know your teams, you know your missions” speech

The “unseen” parts of Avengers 1, after they got Loki

Scott giving 2012-Tony a heart attack and 2012-Thor helping with Mjolnir. All while actual-Tony gets the tesseract (for a while)

All of Rocket-Thor scenes in Asgard

Rhodey and Nebula laughing at Quill

2012-Cap vs actual-Cap (+America’s Ass), and the elevator scene

The ancient one and Bruce conversation

The whole thing with past and present Nebula

Stan Lee’s cameo

Tony and Steve going to 1970. Tony (aka Howard Potts… I died when his wife’s name is the first one that comes to his mind) talking to Howard Stark, having a dad to dad conversation, and Edwin Jarvis cameo. Meanwhile, Steve seeing Peggy.

Nat sacrifice for Clint. Clint crying afterwards…

The team decided to not let her sacrifice be in vain (+Bruce’s reaction)

Bruce undoing the snap

Past-Gamora helping actual-Nebula (+killing old-Nebula)

Thor, Steve and Tony fight with Thanos (while the rest of the team is trying to get the gauntlet)… (+THAT scene of Steve and Mjolnir)

THAT FUCKING SCENE WHERE ALL OF THE FALLEN AVENGERS COME BACK (+RESCUE!!) AND STEVE FINALLY SAYS “AVENGERS ASSEMBLE”

SERIOUSLY, THAT WHOLE SCENE

Rescue and Iron Man fighting back to back like the power couple they are

Rescue-Mom giving Spiderman and the gauntlet a ride

Tony and Peter reunion *sobbing* (+Groot and Rocket, +Hope and Scott, +Quill and Gamora)

THAT SCENE WITH ALL THE WOMEN FIGHTING TOGETHER (Pepper being the badass she fucking is!!)… The only woman I missed was Nat… *sobbing again*

TONY’S “I AM IRON MAN” 

PEPPER’S “ITS OKAY… YOU CAN REST NOW”

PETER SOBBING. PEPPER SOBBING. RHODEY HOLDING PETER

PETER GOING BACK TO NED AND MAY

THE VIDEO. “I LOVE YOU 3000″

THE FUNERAL WITH ALL THE TEAM (+HARLEY)

RHODEY AND HAPPY COMFORTING EACH OTHER BEHIND MORGAN AND PEP

“PROOF THAT TONY STARK HAS A HEART”

UNCLE HAPPY AND THE FUCKING CHEESEBURGUERS

Thor going with the Guardians (+Quill looking for Gamora)

Clint with his fam

Scott with his fam

Steve giving the shield to Sam

(this is kinda)-> Steve going to Peggy

In conclusion: MY HEART IS FUCKING BROKEN FOR THIS MOVIE, but nontheless I “loved” it

Okay… so now that we are done… Let’s talk about what I didn’t like:

I needed more Pepper/Tony moments, and more Pepper “mommy” moments

Uncle Happy was great… BUT WHAT ABOUT UNCLE RHODEY!

Steve, get out of the fucking way! Tony doesn’t need you now (at the begining of the movie). He needs Pepper, and Rhodey, and food, water and sleep 

Rhodey not getting a hug with Tony at the begining of the movie

Not May/Tony conflict/crying over their ‘son’

I don’t know if I like Howard’s and Tony’s talk… I do like it, but idk. I guess that in the movies he wasn’t physically abusing to him… But at least he gets to talk with his dad and he realizes he’s a very good dad with Morgan (aka, his “little girl” *sobs*)

TONY DESERVES BETTER. THE WHOLE IRONFAM DESERVES BETTER. MORGAN, PEPPER, RHODEY, HAPPY, PETER… MY GOSH, EVEN THE BOTS AND FRIDAY (I can’t talk about him in past tense, I’m sorry. I’m just in denial)

THAT FUCKING CHEESEBURGUER LINE (I swear, I will never get over that fucking line)

Steve getting to live his “endgame” with Peggy, leaving everyone behind (aka Bucky and Sam, but mostly Bucky) and being FUCKING SELFISH (in my eyes… and for what I’ve read, in a lot of actual Cap’s fans too)

How come that “the man who lays in the wire” is the one that leaves, and “the man who would cut the wire” is the one that fucking LAYS ON IT (again)

Alright. Now I’m going to talk about the OG6 ends. Although I have leave my points of view up… But I still want to talk about it more thoroughly:

Clint: Finally, Clint got his protagonism in the team. He’s going to do “whatever it takes” (and he means WHATEVER) to bring his family back. I liked his end, there’s nothing more to discuss about it.

Bruce: Yeah, Bruce finally got the best of both worlds, the mind and the strength… But what’s he going to do now?

Thor: Thor’s end was okay (IMO)… He doesn’t have the strength to be the king anymore… But Valkyrie does. And he has great chemistry with the Guardians, so I didn’t mind him going with them.

Nat: Nat’s ending was great. Let me explain. I didnt like that she died. But I felt it very on character… She has no family, her family are the avengers. And she wants to bring them back. Clint is like her brother (I’m a little into Clintasha tbh, but I accept that they give them that brother/sister relationship long ago. It proofs that not all the male/female friendships have to end in a romantic relationship), and she did anything she could to undo the snap during 5 fucking years.

Steve: Hated it (him). Yeah, you “loved” Peggy… Whatever. (The Russos trying to put Steggy as the Royal ship when everyone KNOWS that that title belongs, AND WILL ALWAYS BELONG, to Pepper and Tony). He’s just looking at the past, he has never moved on, and he never will. He let Tony gave up his family (at the age of 53… god, he had a lot to live for) and then he left Bucky behind (and the whole Hydra mess too), when he always was so nuisance about him all these years…

Tony: Hate/Love it. I love it because it’s the way of fully close the circle of this whole journey, and he’s the SAVIOR of the fucking MCU, now and always. Haters can shut their mouths now after what he did…

I hate it because… He’s my baby. He finally had the life he craved for all these years. Married to Pep, with his baby girl; trophy husband, doting father… and now he’s… gone. He’ll never see Morgan grow up (her first day at college, her first bf/gf, her graduation, her wedding, his grand-kids… any of it), he’ll never see Peter go to college either. Pepper will see all of that alone (not completely, because Happy and Rhodey will always be there, but someone will be always missing). Morgan won’t ever doubt that her daddy loves her, but still he won’t be there to kiss her goodnight, nor to tell her shitty bed time stories. (God, I’m crying again… and I really want to say I am joking, but I’m not).

Tony fucking DESERVED BETTER. 

The whole IRONFAM DESERVED BETTER.

Rhodey hold his head and pet his hair, with tears in his eyes that he refuses to let out. Peter calling him Tony for the first time ever… “We won” 

Also, Pepper is the STRONGEST WOMAN IN THE MCU. No one will EVER change my mind. She went into battlefield to help her husband, to protect their kid, and she hates violence. She fought beside him, helped defeat Thanos… And, when Tony (her Tony) was dying… She kneeled next to him, to reassure him that they would be okay, that he “can rest now”. And she didn’t break until he was gone. So the last thing he would see was her being the calm, competent person he knows she is. SHE FUCKING WAITS TILL HE’S GONE. SHE HOLDS HER TEARS AND HER SOBS SO HE WOULD FEEL OKAY. SO THAT HE COULD REST. And then, when the light of his arc reactor is out, and his hand is no longer in hers, she let it all out. She kissed his cheek one last time and sobs with her face buried in his neck… And I can’t deal with it.

Tony’s last message… “I love you 3000″ is another heartbreak. And the “Proof that Tony Stark has a heart” is the best… But the fucking cheeseburguers… If I weren’t sobbing and trembling during all that, the cheeseburguer was the charm that made me explode. It was over. It was really over. And that line made it true.

And the point is… I can’t read fanfics now. Nor see fanarts, fanvids, edits, you name it. Hell, I don’t think I’ll be able to watch any movie with Tony in it with the same eyes anymore… Any of the Iron Man movies, Homecoming, Civil War… It’s just too much. I won’t be able to watch Iron Man 1 again the same as I did before… with the cheeseburguer, and Pepper tears because she “hates job hunting”, Yinsen and his question about family, or the first time Tony flies out of his garage, with that huge, happy smile on his face.

Every time that I see 3000, I get fucking sad. And I was crying when I got home yesterday. When I calmed down a bit, I entered Instagram and Robert posted that photo of him and Jimmy Rich “holding” the A of Avengers and the tag #iloveyou #3000 and I fucking cried again… Fuck, I’ve been crying while writing all of this post.

I’m not even able to read some fluff fanfic from a couple of years ago… Pre-Infiniry war era to cheer me up. It just makes me sadden.

And… I think that’s it… I hope someone will read aaaaall my rant, but I can’t sum anything up.

.

TONY STARK, I LOVE YOU 3000 (ALWAYS WILL) 

[tepkunset]

So here’s my extremely belated thoughts on Avengers: Infinity War asjdhadg basically a summary can be I am way too much of a gay X-Men comic stan for this bullshit

Everyone except Thor, Gamora, Rocket and Nebula really drank a full vat of dumb bitch juice for this one huh.

Like, it is really hard to be invested in the deaths of all the Wakandans treated like canon fodder in order to maybe save the life of one (1) robot man. I don’t care how sentient he is, I don’t care if he was a real person, no one in their right mind would actually risk the lives of not just a whole nation, the whole universe, for one person. The T’Challa I know certainly would never. He’d tell the Avengers to get their shit together and make the hard but necessary choice for the greater good of, you know, the universe. But no, he’s apparently super cool with letting all his people die because MCU’s version of Scarlet Witch thinks her robot boyfriend is more important.

And don’t even get me started on Iron Man, Dr. Strange, Spider-Man and the Guardians up in space. Here’s an idea, why doesn’t Strange just do the exact same thing Wong did in the beginning of the movie and use a portal to just cut off the glove? Or better yet, the head? Why would you show that as an option and then not do it with the big bad guy??? And then. Oh my god. And then Star-Lord what, starts slapping him around for... what reason, exactly? Because he killed Gamora? He was willing to suck it up and do what MCU’s Scarlet Witch wouldn’t and kill her himself because he trusted her, earlier. Don’t get me wrong, he should absolutely be furious and devastated, but I don’t see Nebula pulling that shit!

And yes, all these things are valid questions to ask, and I reject the notion that you’re supposed to ‘turn off your brain’ when watching a movie. It doesn’t work like that. Hell, even Deadpool 2 does a better job at explaining why obvious questions the audience will ask won’t work, even if it is for a joke about lazy writing, it’s better than no writing at all.

Speaking of Gamora’s death, I just about lost it over that. The way Thanos starts to cry and the music swells, and later the scene after he snaps and sees her as a girl... Do NOT tell me we are actually supposed to feel sorry for this ultimate moron. Then later in the film you have that scene with Okoye, MCU’s Black Widow and MCU’s Scarlet Witch teaming up as a ‘girl power’ moment I guess, but sorry dudes, you don’t get to do that after what you pulled with Gamora. Making her death all about the angst of the male villain. The villain, mind you. The villain who kidnapped her and abused her.

Maybe instead of trying to make Thanos sympathetic when you can’t--there is nothing sympathetic about a guy who’s so fucking stupid he thinks over-population is the cause of all problems and so he’s gonna kill everyone as a solution, when a basic fucking understanding of how society works is all it takes to know otherwise and that over-population is a myth--you just let him be horny for death like in the comics? Thanos is not that complicated a villain. I mean sure, you can have your villain’s big Fatal Flaw be that he’s the dumbest bitch in the galaxy. But for fuck sake, the fact that no one, no one at all ever points out that he’s wrong, but instead we have to listen to retcons about Gamora’s planet prospering because of his mass murder, tells me they actually thought he was being logical. Dumb bitch juice. You tried to make him complicated and ended up just making the entire movie nonsensical.

The only plot among the hundred different plots that made sense and I was actually invested in was Thor’s. Every time the movie went back to him, it was one giant relief. And even still, I hate that they basically quickly scrubbed their hands with all events of Ragnarok because they had other ideas. The movie opens up with everyone dead/dying. Valkyrie isn’t even mentioned. His lost eye full of symbolism? Who cares here’s a new robot one Rocket just happens to have.

I am honestly convinced the only reason Hulk didn’t come out is because 1) they blew their CGI budget already and 2) they knew better than to try and live up to the Hulk finally being competently written in Ragnarok.

But there were a few things I have to admit I had enjoyment from:

The full context makes this video even funnier.

Thor saying that Kevin Bacon might be an Avenger, he isn’t sure.

The scene where Bruce is like “do I bow” when meeting T’Challa, and Rhodey is like yeah he’s a king of course you bow.

“I am Groot.” “I am Steve Rogers.”

Like in general, I will cut this short and say most of the humour did make me laugh.

Thor’s badass entrance to the battlefield and Bruce is like “you’re all so fucked now.” Additionally, Thor actually doing damage to Thanos.

Bucky picking up Rocket and swinging him around and making a surprisingly good team up.

Rhodey finally being treated more like a real Avenger and allowed to interact with characters other than Tony.

Nebula continuing her tradition of flying ships into people.

Shuri demonstrating her intellect is higher than Bruce’s--this is a scene I was hoping for and was glad to get.

The battle scenes looked okay and were at least capable of following.

I’ll say it wasn’t as convoluted a mess as I was preparing myself for. But that’s not really a compliment considering I was basically coming in with the bar buried underground.

And are those few moments of levity enough to say I overall enjoyed the film? Honestly, not really. It’s not a film I never plan on watching again, but it’s not one I’m immediately eager to see again either. It’s the kind of film that if I had to give a number score, I’d give it a 5/10. Which hey, is better than the 1/10 that was Age of Ultron!

[hook-on-fandoms]

Avengers Endgame

This post is gonna include endgame spoilers.

This is gonna be me rambling about endgame so high spoilers

Under the cut. Can’t remember if that works on mobile but either way spoilers spoilers spoilers.

okay okay okay this is legit a ramble of the whole thing. Might add more/do specific posts later.

I love the beginning where we see how all the others found out and reacted. 

And we see these kids that are set to take the helm in a few years.

Also, Petter is...lucky? his close friends were snapped to or else 5 years older and far from home would be different. That must be so awkward for some.

 And then Sam’s on your left just killed me in hindsight. Because he does what Steve does but slower and Steve goes on your left over and over but this time Sam did it. He “passed” Steve and picked up the mantle and it was so good. So happy Steve finally got his dance.

And on the flip side of that Steve was leading support groups through this just like Sam was doing when he found him after meeting him and Sam (I think) invited him to join to help. Steve might have gone to sessions or Sam had sessions with them while on the run and I love what that suggests.

And I’m happy if nothing else Tony FINALLY got a resemblance of peace during those 5 years. And Morgan is so sweet and I see her putting on that gift for mom when she’s older and taking the torch. 

But I also love that at the end battle of endgame Rhodey’s suit was destroyed so he went into battle with another suit. This other suit was also bulky but it had the Iron Man colors showing him and possibly Pepper are gonna take up the torch on that end for now.

It was so awesome seeing Pepper and Tony fight side by side like that.

I have to agree with Valkyrie, I like Hulk/Bruce a lot more as either separate than combined. Pretty much because I see the Hulk and Bruce as two separate people and how they were combined felt more like killing the Hulk and taking his body than a true merge.

Morgan is gonna have the two best big brothers watching over her and spoiling her.

That end fight was AMAZING.

This movie had a lot more emotion than I thought it would be able to pull off.

I’m so happy Carol was able to do the faces she did because I was so afraid that in this movie she’d be stuck being the battle-hardened badass. And love that she kept calling them out on their earth-centric views. With THERE ARE OTHER PLANETS GUYS. THEY DON’T ALL HAVE SPECIFIC PROTECTORS GUYS. THEIR LIVES MATTER TOO. Sad we didn’t get to see her and Fury so much as glance at each other or her with her wife and daughter from her movie at the funeral.

Okay I have SO many questions about this one. If I remember correctly Nebula put enough together to know that Gamora not being there was tied to Thanos getting the soul stone. Did they put together that it involved a sacrifice of someone you “love” (have serious doubt on that love considering abuser and abuse victim did it maybe just someone’s death)? Nat did say everything was gonna go through her and they started looking before finding Clint so if Nebula told her Nat might have said I have a plan for that don’t worry about bringing it up in future planning sessions. Because seriously if ANY other group went for that one, even if changing the groupings would that have worked? Thor is too closed off right now and I don’t know who he loves most with that pain. Same with Rocket, he just seems like he has made friends and connections but not love. Neither Tony or Scott could or would kill their daughters or ask their daughters to kill them. Steve and Bruce both have a connection with Nat and vice versa and might have been the one they could do but with Steve, he still went through the motions with her of the group therapist we saw of him earlier and Nat was still so closed off. And I may be the only one but I do feel Bruce and Valkyrie had a strong connection (honestly didn’t see the Valkyrie Thor chemistry because I was to busy thinking she was dating the Hulk (not Bruce the Hulk) and she was coming to like both sides of him). But I feel in one way or another both Bruce and Nat had moved on. Bruce and Thor might have worked (as Bruce said Thor helped him with the peace) but that would have taken out one heavy hitter they needed. Overall many of them were still hurt and closed off to the one they love the most would probably be on the team but WHICH one would it be. With Nat and Clint that history is there. That connection is there. They aren’t closed off from each other. I think Nat planned it and was hoping to convince Clint to accept it but had 20+ plans at each step to get her way. Why else did the two humans go to an alien planet alone as their first or second space trip? But if one KNEW the cost she knew she could beat Clint on this and it was a guaranteed combination instead of a maybe one.

I probably forgot stuff but I’ll add them later.

[icyxmischief]

Thor: Ragnarok Review

The strength: the brothers’ chemistry. The weakness: tonal disjunctions and choppy pacing.  Overall rating: B/B+.  I was both disappointed in ways that I expected to be, and pleased in ways that I didn’t.   If you are a Loki fan, see this movie.  If you are a Thor fan, see this movie. If you are a Loki’s Resistance member or someone who has suffered from family bullying, abuse, or neglect, maybe be careful about seeing this movie.  It could trigger.  

See under the read-more for a breakdown. 

--Before I say another thing: I am SO PROUD of Loki.  Even though he is STILL LOKI, who deceives, changes, and shifts convictions, he also REPEATEDLY, thanklessly and without recognition tried to save Thor’s ass, both when Thor was first forced to be a “contender,” and when he arrived on a giant ship that boarded the Asgardians safely from a Surtur-burned Asgard, AND when he risked his life to release Surtur at Thor’s request.  Loki, who is not a hero, still did heroic things. And the tension between his trickery and his capacity for goodness remains.  And that delights me.  

--The recurring motif of Thor and Loki and Loki casting a doppleganger/illusion, the idea of him “being there” and “not really being there,” is wonderful, and is indexical on a deeper level of Loki’s willingness to let down barriers against trust, out of love for Thor.  More on that Later.  

--The only thing that I miss about Loki’s characterization is his ferocity.  He seemed a little TOO benign in this installment.  It’s subtle but Loki is vicious and I missed the viciousness.  The only time we catch a glimpse of it is when he’s talking to Bruce (which is a brilliant moment).  

--I DESPISE that we were never given an explanation for Loki’s “death” or how he could “fake it” so profoundly well.  I also feel like it might have been nice for someone to recognize that what he did, whether he faked his death and ran off to take the throne or not, was still done out of love for his brother. 

--The entire Dr. Strange scene was pointless advertisement for another MCU character, done I am convinced because Dr. Strange did hideously in the box office and needed a signal boost, and was implausible given Loki’s lifetime of training in sorcery.  Given that Loki fell to his attempted death of suicide in the  first film, it is insensitive and unnecessarily cruel to make him “fall for thirty minutes.”   The worst part is that it interrupted the narrative flow and took time away from Odin’s death scene.  

--I’m on the fence about Hela being Thor and Loki’s older sister.  It drastically alters the sibling dynamic. This may be something I just still need to get used to as I’m fresh from the movie.  I wanted to see more of a thing pushed where Thor realizes that Loki, UNLIKE Hela, is still invested in the welfare of their family and home.   --I am surprised and ultimately pleased at Odin’s gentler, more redeemable characterization.  I am pleased that Frigga talked to Odin through the separation between Valhalla and earth and obviously got through to him about a number of things.  I am pleased that Odin called BOTH Thor and Loki his “sons” (which obviously had a positive effect on Loki) and said he loved them and failed them, finally owned up to his culpability in the family’s messed up dynamic.  And I loved that he went to Norway and that Norway is probably where “New Asgard” will be.  At the same time, I feel like it was too little, too late.  Did he really have to be so rigid and machinating through his whole life and leave both his sons so scarred?  So it’s bittersweet. 

--Odin to Loki: “Your mother would be proud.” :’)  --Thor losing an eye was shocking, but I ultimately like it, and hope that it implies that he will follow in Odin’s footsteps but with greater compassion.   --Heimdall also finally won me over in this installment, rescuing and caring for the Asgardians after Hela took over.  

--I do not agree with or understand why Loki was portrayed as a glory hounding lazy monarch.  It’s antithetical to the fastidiously hard working obsessive character we’ve seen before. Yes, the big statue was funny, and yes, the play was (mostly) funny, but I cringed a little bit at how OOC it was, just to provide a joke.  I was also disappointed, though I knew I would be, that Thor and Loki’s reunion was rushed and made funny.  At the same time I loved how Thor was perceptive to Loki’s deceits; in an odd way it shows how close they are. More on that later.  --Also, a thing about the play that rubbed me the wrong way was the part where Loki’s written or sanctioned it so that the Odin actor openly discusses his real racial heritage???? Because he’s???? A very private person, and used to be utterly ashamed of that part of his identity???? And I mean don’t get me wrong, I’m GLAD he’s evidently learning to move past his internalized racism, but it also seems like a huge jump in four years????? And also not something to joke about in the first place?????  --Which leads me to the humor for which this film has been praised. I both agree and disagree.  The humor was largely effective, but in parts, felt like an unnecessary strain on a scene that should be serious.  For instance, things that brought the epic characters down to a relatable level, like Thor hitting himself with the ball he threw against Hulk’s wall, or Hulk’s disappointment at not being allowed to kill Surtur, or Valkyrie being so drunk that she fell off her hovercraft, were hilarious and great.   --My main complaint is that there were too many flashy fancy action sequences, which make for a fun movie, but crowd out potential scenes to show character background and development.  All the scenes we got with Thor and Loki were solid gold, and yet they went by at 30 second to 2 minute intervals and I was left thinking “wait? what? it’s over already???? come back!”  --Hela was a badass with so much potential but her characterization was extremely flat.  We were shown that she was ambitious and iconoclastic, but we got no window into what made her that way, or the nature of her relationship with Odin.  And I attribute that flaw to the issue above.  --Same goes for Valkyrie. Wonderful potential. Adore her.  Also think she’d be better shipped with Bruce than Thor but that’s neither here nor there.  But I wanted more than Loki’s magical mind-reading flashback of her last battle with Hela to see what sort of person she’d been and could be.   --Bruce’s scenes were touching and enjoyable. I’ve always loved Bruce and his self-sacrificial act of Hulking out again during the battle with Fenrir was deeply moving. --I love Jeff Goldblum, he was delightful, and his portrayal of the Grandmaster was a salient and much needed satire on political leaders who are really greedy glorified entertainers (read: Donald Trump) but I also felt like he was over-utilized at the expense of other characters, and, again, for the sake of humor, when both jokes and action sequences were already well covered.   --I found it contemptible that Volstagg, Fandral, and Hogun were killed so quickly and unceremoniously--again, to cram in more flashy action sequences.  That was jarring and sad, even though I know it fulfills the events in the comics. Skurge’s death was made more meaningful than theirs and that felt wrong. Also, why was Sif missing???? 

--I love the notion that “home is not a place but a people.”  Personally, I really needed to hear that.  

Now to the most controversial issue: Thor and Loki’s relationship: I believe that Thor was frequently unfair to Loki and did not recognize how his own hasty words and actions precipitated Loki’s now hardwired bad habit of dodging and double-crossing.  When he blamed Loki for Odin’s death and Asgard’s fall into disarray, that was unfair.  Let’s not even go into how Odin’s parenting directly contributed to Loki’s depression, caustic jealousy, and instability.  Beyond that, Loki did not kill Odin or even make him uncomfortable; he left him in an old folks’ home with a benign memory loss spell. And he sure as fuck did nothing to release Hela; Odin was dying already because IT WAS TIME FOR RAGNAROK, NO MATTER WHAT, AS THOR HIMSELF LATER REALIZES. LOKI DID NOT PRECIPITATE RAGNAROK.   And that Thor never acknowledges this later is poor writing.   The fact that Loki reaches out verbally to comfort Thor in that moment, when a storm is brewing, and Thor responds with that overblown accusation, is also kind of awful.  

Later, when Thor is trapped in the room with the other warriors, and Loki appears in doppleganger form, and Thor throws objects through him while he’s telling him that he put a wager on him, and to be careful, and survive so that eventually the two of them can assassinate the Grandmaster and get out, that whole scene is a nice touch.  

You already all know what I think of the elevator/lift scene and “Get Help.”  It’s painful but it also shows that for centuries these two have worked together and know each other inside and out.  Same goes for the anecdote of Loki turning Thor into a frog and the anecdote of eight year old Loki turning into a snake and Thor picking it up and Loki surprising him with a knife lol.  

The very worst moment for me was indeed when Thor used the shocking implant on Loki.  It wasn’t even that Thor did it, because yeah, Loki was gonna sell him back to the Grandmaster (though I doubt Loki thought Thor would live out his life and die on Sakar).  What bothered me was HOW LONG he left him lying there writhing in EXCRUCIATING AGONY.  I also found it ironic that Thor is preaching on about how Loki “could be better but doesn’t want to change” (though it’s true, I admit!) when Thor literally could say the same words verbatim to and about himself. :/  And the way he was taunting Loki, it was....very cold and ooc for Thor.  

It’s important to note how Loki tried to bring attention to other people so they could empathize with his situation.  He isn’t even asking people to feel sorry for him, he JUST WANTS THEM TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE UNFAIR ODDS.  From “feels bad to be lied to, doesn’t it?” to “THAT’S what it’s LIKE!” about the Hulk smashing. 

I teared up and laughed happily when Thor conducted all his lightning into blasting Hela off the balcony of the palace, and Loki looked up mid battle and smiled with such knowing pride. I DIED!!! In that moment!!!! <3 BROTHERS!!! 

Also, note that Thor says “You’re late!” to Loki, which implies that even though he slowed Loki down on Sakar, he never expected Loki not to eventually join and help him.  Loki does NOT deny it, he simply says, with a bit of fussy concern and amusement, “You’re missing an eye!” 

You can argue that their relationship is salvaged later, and certainly by the end of the film, they are in a better place than they’ve been since before the first Thor movie.  The only thing that bothers me is that Thor seems to take that for granted, as the way it always should have been, without acknowledging how far they’ve come, or how often Loki has tried to meet Thor halfway without compromising his own agency/selfhood.  

However the whole movie was worth it for me for a scene in the last five minutes.  “I’m here.”  What more do I need to say about that wonderful moment? When throughout the film and all the implied earlier films a major point of their friction has been Loki’s absence, his evasion, his two-faced deceit, and instead, here, he chooses to make himself vulnerable, to be honest, to be present, in order to comfort his big brother.   <3  The hug DOES happen, guys. It’s just off-camera.  :’)  

[hazyheel]

Impact Wrestling 10/4/19 Review

This was a good episode, but not overly so. There wasn’t a whole lot of forward momentum going into Bound for Glory, they are mostly just hitting on a couple story beats over and over again. However, in a couple stories, we are getting some interesting interaction, and some good matches. The card is shaping up nicely, and I’m looking forward to the the big show. Should be pretty exciting. Here is my full review of Impact Wrestling.

Madison Rayne vs. Tenille Dashwood vs. Kiera Hogan: Dashwood tried to start things out with a quick victory, but Hogan and Rayne quickly started to work together. Dashwood and Hogan fought a bit, with Dashwood nailing a butterfly suplex. For a 1 count. Rayne then hopped on Dashwoods back and held her in place for a superkick from Hogan. Once again, the heels teamed up on Dashwood. Dashwood fought back a bit, throwing Hogan to the outside before locking in an interesting submission on Rayne, only for Hogan to break it up. Once again, the two beat down Dashwood with some really good low dropkicks and moves of the such. They then took the match to the outside, until Dashwood dodged a tope suicida from Hogan that took out Rayne. Dashwood fought her went back into the ring with a neckbreaker through the ropes on Hogan, but Rayne pulled her out of the pin. Rayne and Hogan started to argue about the miscommunication from earlier in the match. They set Dashwood up in the corner, and were arguing about who was going to deliver the superplex. As they argued, Dashwood smacked their heads together, which made Hogan fall off. She then was able to give Rayne a powerbomb onto Hogan, but they all kciked out. She locked Hogan in a Tarantula, before giving Rayne a drop toehold into Hogan, and then both of them a Taste of Tenille. Once again, the heels teamed up on Dashwood, but they argued some more, until Dashwood pushed Rayne into Hogan to send Hogan out of the ring. Dashwood rolled up Rayne for a 2 count before hitting the Spotlight for the win. 

Grade: B-. A fun little story here, with Dashwood needing to overcome two dysfunctional heels. It was good, they had a pretty fun match that I liked a lot. Good stuff to open things up. Dashwood continues to impress. 

Eddie Edwards and Tommy Dreamer Backstage: Eddie told Dreamer that he needed a lot of help, and Dreamer told him that he needs professional help. Eddie claimed that RENO SCUM drugged him. Dreamer told him that he would always have Eddie’s back, but turns out, Edwards was talking to Kenny the Kendo Stick. Ugh. Wasn’t Eddie Edwards kinda badass a few years ago? Like when he feuded with Davey Richards, and when he later teamed with Davey Richards? I wish I could see more of that Eddie Edwards rather than this “I’m so wacky” guy. Reminds me of Dean Ambrose, when he should be more of a Jon Moxley. 

Johnny Swinger vs. Owen Travis: Owen Travis was a jobberThe two locked up right away, with Swinger overpowering the poor local guy a few times. He then started to give him falling headbutts into the nether regions of Travis, followed by an eye, back and chest rake. Travis started to fight back a bit, but Swinger nailed a huge swinging neckbreaker for the win.

Grade: C+. Haha, Swinger was actually pretty funny. I didn’t mind his stuff, and I thought the swinging neckbreaker looked pretty good. Swinger looks fine, so I’m giving this the normal squash rating. 

The North Interview: The two said that they are going to prove themselves as the best tag team in the world after they beat Willie Mack and Rich Swann, but they then found out that it’ll be a three way also against RVD and Rhino. 

Tessa Blanchard interview:  She claimed that Callihan has been attacking people on purpose, and said that everyone in Impact has a target on their back. This was a pretty intense promo, but I kinda got interrupted in the middle of it so I didn’t hear everything. 

Impact Plus moment of the Week: Robert Roode vs. Kurt Angle at an old Bound for Glory. Looked pretty good. 

Ace Austin and Alisha Edwards Backstage: Austin was being really like “nice guy” towards Alisha. He said that Eddie might be dealing with some substance abuse problems, and said that he was only a call away if she needs him. He has experience dealing with friends who has problems like this, so he will be willing to help wherever he can. He is a really good heel. 

Eddie Edwards and Kenny vs. RENO SCUM: Eddie tied Kenny to the tag rope, and started things out against Adam Thornstowe. The two exchanged huge shots back in forth, before Edwards nailed a huge overhead suplex. Luster the Legend then tagged in, and he wanted Kenny. As Eddie went to do it, but Luster attacked him from behind. The two then brawled a bit, and Reno Scum started to take control with some huge to the head. Eddie then nailed a huge blue thunder bomb, but Luster grabbed his leg before he could get the hot tag to Kenny. Eddie evnetually got the hot tag to Kenny, and Eddie took control by just smacking them around with the Kendo stick. Eddie then nailed a tope suicida to Luster. Reno Scum then pulled Eddie and Kenny into the ring, and slammed Eddie into the mat. Thornstowe then went for a splash, but Eddie got his knees up. He then smacked Luster off the top with Kenny, before nailing Thornstowe with the Boston Knee Party and the win.

Grade: C-. This was dumb, really really dumb. But unfortunately, it was also really fun, mostly due to the completely idiotic commentary from a confused Josh Matthews and Don Callis, who constantly tried to pretend that Kenny was an actual wrestler. Before the tope suicida, Eddie threw Kenny out of the ring, which commentary called a tope con hilo. So yeah, that was funny, but this was a largely stupid match. Which sucks because Reno Scum looked really good. 

The North Backstage: They went into the back and confronted Konnan. Konnan took a swig of tequila and the door closed. 

Konnan Backstage: Konnan was lying on the floor of the room that he was in, and a bunch of people were yelling for help. 

OvE Promo: Security surrounded the ring, and Sami Callihan defended his actions from last week. He said that it was an accident, and a tragedy. He then read an apology off a sheet of paper. In the middle of the apology, Brian Cage ran down to the ring, and took out security to get there. He gave Jake Crist a powerbomb on the apron, a F5 to Dave Crist, and a chokeslam to madman Fulton. Callihan ran through the crowd, and as Cage started to chase after him, a fan grabbed him and he pulled him over the barricade and slammed him. Some officials yelled at Cage as he apologized, and Cage got arrested. 

Grade: B.  I actually kinda liked this. It was intense, it was cool, and it showed Cage kinda losing it. I don’t think he needed to be arrested, there could’ve just been consequences from Impact management. But yeah, this was cool. I’m into Cage getting super pissed and kicking the crap out of anyone in his way. He is awesome. 

Daga vs. Chris Bey to qualify for the X-Division Ladder Match: Jake Crist was out on commentary, and Jake and Don made fun of Matthews a whole bunch. The two started out quickly, nailing some huge flying and kicks, only really stopping after Daga hit a tope suicida on Bey. Daga then took control with a snap vertical suplex. He kept up the pressure with a superman forearm into the corner and then a shining wizard for a near fall. Bey then took control with a rewind kick, and nailed a huge tope con hilo. As they went back in the ring, Bey hit a huge slingshot DDT, but still only got a near fall. Daga then put Bey in the corner, and kicked out his leg to crotch him on the middle rope, before hitting a huge Lungblower. Bey fought back with a huge back kick and an awesome flying crucifix bomb for a close near fall, but he recovered quickly and hit an avalanche Spanish fly. Daga got the win with a butterfly facebuster to the knees. 

After the match, Daga and Jake argued a bit, until Dave ran out and they beat down Daga together. As they fought, Blanchard ran out and made the save.

Also, on commentary during this match, Matthews took a shot at Chris Jericho for having an ugly scarf. 

Grade: B. Pretty good stuff. Lots of flying and back and forth, but not really enough selling or storytelling for my taste. There is such a thing as too fast, especially if they aren’t telling a real story during the match. They could’ve done better, but they still put on a really good match. Chris Bey is going places, he will be big. 

Fallah Bahh and TJP backstage: TJP said that he thinks that he has a good game plan, and tried to get Bahh to give him some advice, but he couldn’t. He then told an interviewer that, although he is a Cruiserweight, he is confident for this match. 

Moose and Ken Shamrock Press Conference: Moose called MMA barbaric and completely without skill. But he then brought in a UFC trainer so he can get some of that barbarism. He said that he will beat Shamrock, and Shamrock came to him, not the other way around. Shamrock then confronted him, and said that he will beat Moose because he isn’t attacking him from behind this time. They squared up for a photo, where they insulted each other until Moose took a cheap shot. It was cool, I liked it. 

Grade: B+. This was a good segment, and since there wasn’t much going on this epsiode, I’m gonna grade it. Both guys were super intense, and were great at the MMA press conference jaw jacking. Good stuff that built well to the match. They are doing great with this build. 

Jessica Havok and Father Mitchell Outside: The Father was arguing with Havok for trying to kill Su Yung. He screamed at her for the attack, until Taya Valkyrie asked them to take out Tenille Dashwood for her, and if Havok did it, she’d get the championship match at Bound for Glory. They said no. Honestly it was a stupid idea anyway, because Havok is waaaaaaay bigger than Tenille.

Michael Elgin vs. TJP: TJP tried to start out with some quick dropkicks,put Elgin avoided them. He ate a few strikes here and there, before he started to overpower TJP. TJP started to look for the kneebar, and worked over the knee as the match rolled on. Elgin took control after a huge shoulder tackle, and kept it up with some huge powermoves, until TJP retreated to the outside. TJP was able to snap the arm, before trying to lock in some more submissions, and we cut to commercial. When we came back, Elgin was rocking TJP with strike after strike, but TJP was able to get some nice counters in here and there. He low bridged Elgin to the outside and tried for a cannonball, but Elgin caught him and powerbombed him onto the apron. Elgin kept control, and started to counter TJP’s counters, such as when he had TJP in an electric chair, but he dropped him down for a bridging suplex and a two count. Elgin tried for a deadlift superplex, but TJP countered with a springboard super rana. TJP then lit up Elgin with various strikes and a springboard forearm. He then kicked Elgin into a 619 position, gave him a dropkick and then a splash for a near fall, but he reversed the kick out into a Fujiwara arm bar. Elgin tried for a flying ensiguri, but TJP dodged and tried for an armbar, but Elgin just powered him up for a huge powerbomb, followed by an awesome lariat for only a 2 count. Elgin tried for the Elgin bomb, but TJP countered into a rana. TJP then went for tope suicida, but Elgin caught him right into a powerslam, which looked awesome. Elgin then hit the deadlift super falcon arrow, but TJP still kicked out. Elgin then looked for a huge lariat, but TJP countered with a Cross armbreaker. Elgin nearly made the ropes, so TJP pulled him back into the ring, only for Elgin to then counter the cross armbreaker into a buckle bomb. He followed that up with a huge backfist and a spinning Elgin Bomb for the win. 

Grade: B+. Really good match. This was more competitive than I thought it was going to be, with TJP getting a huge amount of quick offense. Elgin was mostly powering through moves here, although he hit some awesome strikes. Good match with the right winner. Hopefully TJP breaks into the X-Division soon, because he’d make an awesome champion. And that dream match will probably be as awesome as they are advertising. Match of the night. 

Melissa Santos bailing out Brian Cage: Sami Callihan confronted Santos outside of the prison. Callihan told her that the attack was an accident, and blamed Cage for attacking him. However, he said that he really liked hitting her with the bottle, and then left. 

Overall Grade: B-

Pros: daga vs. bey; press conference; main event

Cons: kenny as a tag team partner, ugh

[alizaarches]

September wondered how many people this eleven-year-old girl had executed, how many human beings that knelt before her, gagged and desperate, whose lives were dependent on the voices of imaginary friends, how many times she had sacrificed the hearts of men as if playing an arcade game. September almost pitied the girl, the Valkyrie. At eleven, September could remember the thrill of his rich aunt buying him the third PlayStation, his rich uncle buying him the newest Xbox, and the intense arguments with his cousins over which one was better. He’d grown into a PC pleb as of late last year, before he’d gotten involved with Los Angeles’s biggest crime boss, known as the Warfather. Some called him the Breeder—whether with his affiliation with abusing the loyalty of his wife or for his unhealthy obsession with creating chaos, September wasn’t sure. He could only the sharp pain that came with the loss of his mother, the sense of being completely alone in the world, with the only person he’d had gone and buried in a field of nameless tombstones, the fear of living life at college while knowing he had nothing to go home to, the hatred of the pitying looks whenever he didn’t go home for the holidays, someone asked why, and he said, “My mom’s dead.” They never asked of the rest of his family. He remembered glancing into alleyway at the dead of night (it helped him think, and his insomnia surpassed all desire to have a good night’s sleep), and seeing four men beating the ever-living crap out of a weaker, more defenseless fifth man. He wasn’t sure what came over him—maybe his insomnia had a whole “moral depravation” his therapist hadn’t told him about, or he’d already seen what horrors humans could do to other humans—but the next thing he knew, September jumped on the backs of two of the men, and dragged them backward. The beaten man seemed to notice his newfound chance of winning, and started fighting back with new vigor. September, of course, had no idea that in the process of saving a man’s life, he was, in fact, pissing off the biggest gangster in the state. The group of four men simply looked once at September, looking quite stupid with his pale fists at the ready to uncoordinatedly swing rapidly in circles, studying him in excruciating detail, and strolled away with a swagger that of a cat that got the cream (with one very melodramatic thug doing the “I’m watching you” two-fingered gesticulation). He didn’t understand why they’d given up so quickly, until he thought of the fact that they were simply memorizing his face like a witness for a police lineup to their chief in command. Over the next week, September continued living his life, unknowing that simply exploring through the empty streets in a quiet suburban place in LA would cause him to be freaking kidnapped. He’d been in his lonely apartment, tossing an innocent crouton-filled salad with his mother’s treasured dressing, when his doorbell rang. He frowned, wondering if it was the cute girl from B12, or the hippie from B11, or the bodybuilder from B6, or the hot guy from B17, or—his neighbors were his biggest source of entertainment in September’s secluded and boring existence. He’d plonked his tongs at his countertop, checked himself out in the mirror to fix his rabid dogear hair, and strode to the door. He tossed it open and found himself with a burlap sack over his head. He screamed with very manly pride and fought back, flinging his arms in every direction, before he was promptly picked up Cleopatra-style and thrown into the back of the car he imagined in his head. He theorized how utterly badass he would be if he pulled a Bond move and escaped from the rope restraints they tied around his wrists, beat his captors with a bag over his head (completely blind, like a less coordinated Daredevil), and steal their car with a smirk on his face. Clearly, since he was kneeling at the feet of a little girl, he did not pull through with his bizarre plan. His kidnappers yanked him to an upright position, dragged him to a random room, and kicked the back of his knees. September’s sight was released from captivity; the first thing he noticed was the building. Bright lights, forcing his eyes to squint and adjust from darkness, long concrete floors, smooth and untouched, paned windows blocked off by wood planks for only streaks of sunlight to peak through. The second thing he noticed were the people staring him directly in the face: a man, with light green irises and facial hair fit for a king, was sitting quite calmly in a foldup chair, his legs crossed in the epitome of elegancy; two faceless goons were standing on either side of the king, each with dark unevenly chopped hairstyles and black camouflage Kevlar vests; and, the weirdest addition to the group of otherwise adult men, a redheaded little girl, with a single ponytail running down her back. Protests filled his ears as September realized that, apparently, he was not the only one brought down to his knees. Other faceless goons dressed in the latest bulletproof fashion were casually bringing victims to the summoning circle like pigs for slaughter. One of the pigs dug his feet into the ground desperately, as if he could stop himself against the strength of yes-men, pleading to the skies for mercy. September liked to think he had more dignity than that, but when staring death in the face, he didn’t know what he’d do. The other sacrificial lamb was quiet, head hung low, with a brunette braid hanging down their shoulder—a woman, he assumed. The king’s lips curved, his ringed fingers pressed against his temple, his light irises shining in the reflection of the spotlights hanging above the altar where the ritual took place (in September’s overactive imagination, at least, but with the way he was stolen from his home like robbery gone wrong, it wasn’t so difficult to believe). Captain Green Eyes gestured with his right wrist, almost a hurried snap, and his assailants jumped at the chance of something deadly—Bandit One unsheathed a very intimidating-looking longsword, swinging it around him like a flagbearer, wiggling his eyebrows to his goony friend as if asking “Are you impressed by my lame lightsaber skills?” Bandit One—September decided to name him Lysimachus, for absolutely no reason—grinned, approached the screaming lamb, and swung downwards. Silence rang through the abandoned building as loud as a deadly song, cutting off a lifeforce that resisted till the very end of his life. The woman was released from her baggy hell, and the expression in her dark eyes was the combination of pure fear and righteous anger. Her braid swayed as she was forced forward into the circle of slaughter, directly in front of the goon king. He touched her chin, gently, like a father to his impatient, rebellious daughter. He chuckled a tad, opened his palm, waited for Bandit Dos noticed his prerequisite, watched the bandit reach behind his foldup throne and hand him something beautiful—a staff, golden in stature and longer than September’s flimsy arm, with a crown of thorns sharpened like nails and a base as twisted and knotted as a bird’s nest. Without a moment of hesitation, nor of regret, he smacked her right across her head, sprouting a spray of blood from the poor woman’s head, and a horrifying crack of a skull as she fell to the ground, motionless, soundless. She went down with her dignity, for better or for worse. The king tossed his staff, dismissing like it was not a thing to fuss about, and turned his light eyes to September. Without awaiting the order, the faceless goons grabbed his arms and dragged him to the alter. He bit his tongue to keep silent, not desiring the fates of either victim he’d witnessed. As he was dropped to his knees once more, he dropped his gaze to the floor. The last thing he wanted was to provoke to the beast, especially not after a fresh kill. The king touched his chin just as gently as the woman before him, and raised his head to lock their eyes. The king smiled, caressed his cheek, and kicked him the chest. September grunted from pain, gravity attempting to lurch him backward, with the assailants holding him up. Before September regained his senses, the king spoke, soft and deep, like a calm baritone: “Valentine.” The reaction was immediate—the faceless scruffy-haired goons packed up their pride and marched out of the room, carrying the bloodied bodies of the casualties, laughter following them as they leave, as if they’d taken sickening enjoyment to humans used as sacrificial pigs. The long metal door shut with a loud clang, ringing through September’s ears like a memory he wanted to forget. The redheaded little girl stepped forward bravely, akin to a cartoon animation, her ponytail accidentally smacking her in the face, causing her nose to crinkle. She seemed innocent enough, this Valentine, similar to a child and less like an heir to a gangster empire. Valentine did an imitation of a salute, from the inaccuracy of which she performed it. “Ready, sir!” she addressed, squeakily. Ready? The king patted her shoulder and gestured toward September. Valentine approached him, childish and, dare he say it, normal. She wore a fluffy, bright yellow coat, with a white shirt with the beta symbol, her red hair ponytail swishing as she walked forward. She knelt in front of him, her small pale hands pressing against his face. She smiled, sadly, before backing away. She reached into her pocket, and displayed the objects in her hand: berries, smoother than raspberries, slightly smaller, too. She touched her fingertips to his forehead, and whispered, “As I take my last breath, I call for the mightiest of miracles.” Before September could even begin to react, Valentine shoved the berries into her mouth and bit down, wincing as if the sensation was painful to her. She gasped, staggered farther away until she stood next to the Warfather. Her eyes glazed over, shining gold, and she fell—ungracefully, as if she’d been pushed. September jolted forward, finally realizing that no one was holding him back. The king gave him a warning look, and glanced back at Valentine. September thought back to the faceless goons, to the merciless extent they would follow their leader, and decided it was wiser to obey, rather than leave; one way would provide him a slightly more painful death. As if nothing were wrong, the redheaded girl stood back onto her feet, her hand covered in the bitten berries, her ponytail tilting too far to the right, her irises the color of blood. September cursed out loud, which made the king laugh, his pupils twinkling, as if this were a typical Saturday night. For a brief moment, September wondered who Valentine was to the king—his daughter? His surrogate child who he gets to perform possession rituals to people who slightly pissed him off? Valentine strolled toward him, as calm as a possessed little girl could be, and giggled delicately, which threw him off quite a bit, because a kid with red eyes who giggled at his misery was very disconcerting. She lowered herself to his height and brushed his dark hair from his ear, humming a song which was unfamiliar to him. She glanced down at herself, pulled on a chain he hadn’t noticed from afar, and ripped off an amulet: a simple silver boxed cord with an onyx pendant enlaced with a gray bail. Valentine tied it around his neck, tracing the gem with a tenderness he didn’t know a child influenced by the Warfather could have. Her eyes darkened to the color of wine, and she spoke, much shadier than the cheerful girl from before, “The goddess speaks to me  …” Her lips moved slowly, slurred, as if drunk and blissful in knowing so. “She wonders …” Valentine traced the collar of his jacket. “She wonders what to do with you.” The girl glanced up through her lashes, leaning in closer to him, like an intimidation tactic. She petted the top of his head as if talking to a child, from a fellow child. “Shall she tell me to decapitate you, like Elias? Shall she tell me to literally staff you, like Allegra? Or shall she create a much more deadly, messy, imaginative murder for you?” “Who are you, Valentine?” September asked, incredulous. It was one thing to piss off a crime boss, the most threatening and fiery crime boss in the city, it was another to be on the receiving end of a possessed little girl. The easy, leisurely way her smile spread across her face reminded September of the killers in horror films—the deadly, toothy grin that reflected a dark past, vicious memories, and most likely a tragic backstory. Her canines were coated in scarlet, the child that Valentine was shining through, like a little girl being told not to talk while speaking, and did so in utter spite. She poked him in the nose with an unsaid “boop!” and answered him: “I,” she paused for dramatic effect, “am a Valkyrie. I decide who lives and who dies. The goddess chose me.” She seemed amused by September’s expression, which he was sure she understood loud and clear: the questions surrounding her sanity, the Warfather’s sanity, and his own sanity. She tilted her head, her eyebrow furrowing, as if she were listening to something very far away. Her blood-red eyes cleared, a sharpened focus appearing that wasn’t there before. The amulet around September’s neck warmed, like a phone that had been used for too long. Valentine reached to her necklace and showed the pendant to him; the gem had turned the color of rose petals. “The goddess has decided.” The king’s face brightened significantly, resembling more of an adolescent than Valentine. His fingers twitched as if he were wishing he hadn’t thrown away his staff of murder. “‘The goddess has decided,’” he agreed. “What doth thou has’t to sayeth?” Valentine sighed. She took a glance at September, and seemed to remember it was her charm around his neck. She carefully untied it from his collar and replaced it around her own, likely to keep it handy for other murder-judgment rituals. “‘Mercy’,” she said. “The goddess calls for mercy.” “‘Mercy’?” September asked excitedly. He began to wriggle in his rope restraints. “So, I can leave? I can pretend this was all a terrible dream and I’m not looking at a crime boss and his possessed daughter in the eyes?” The king gave him a very, very dry look that read: Even if The Goddess (with capitals and everything) commanded it, I wouldn’t let you go. A very reassuring expression. Much more reassuring than the one Valentine was shoving in his direction—a pitiful countenance, one with a raised eyebrow, a half smile, and snorting nose. Valentine shook her head in response to his enthusiastic questions. “No,” she said, feeling around the red onyx pendant like it was a good luck charm. “The goddess does not desire a merciful life for you, Mister September Bell. The goddess wishes a merciful death.” The king looked thoughtful. He nodded, as if mentally agreeing with the terms the goddess placed upon him. He reached behind himself, delicately unsheathing a beautiful gun from his back pocket. It was a revolver, golden in its barrel and grip (the Warfather really liked gold, apparently), with loving detail etched across its entire frame, Jellinge style carving engraved into the metal: fond depictions of interlocking knots and elegant symmetrical two-dimensional animals. It was a stunning firearm; September almost didn’t mind dying to it. As it was, a goddess from a religion he didn’t believe in had ordered a little girl and a kingpin to kill him “mercifully.” So yes, he did, in fact, mind dying to the lovely revolver. The Warfather offered the gun to his daughter. “Would you like to do the honors, Miss All-Powerful Valkyrie?” Small, sad brown eyes peeked out for a moment, as if the child underneath the Valkyrie persona was peering through, regretful and unable to do anything about it. A second later, ruby irises returned to their normal, lethal state, establishing the goddess’s attendant once more. Valentine smirked, twisted her fingertips into her long, red ponytail, and nodded innocently, like she was agreeing to a walk around the park and not first-degree murder. “I would be honored.” She bowed, as graceful as a ballerina, and skipped over to her father, snatched the revolver, and strolled back over to the very last sacrificial lamb. She casually unclasped the safety, like she’d gotten used to her life and was unfazed by it. She pointed the sublime gun at September’s forehead. He took a shaky breath, and closed his eyelids. From afar, he heard Valentine speak for the last time: “Any last words?” “You can take your goddess and your disturbing little rituals and shove it up your—” A gunshot rang through the deserted warehouse, and September Bell fell to the floor.

Mercy, by alizaarches

Summary: A man set for dead by a mob boss finds himself relying on the faith of an eleven-year-old girl.

Oh. My. God. This story took SO LONG to write. I continuously got stuck, continuously got writer’s block. You have no idea. Geez. Anyway. Yeah. I have a lot of inspirations for this one, just leading up to this. Some of the heavy influences include: Norse Mythology, BTR (yes, the band), Overwatch, the phrase “child of peace,” and the song The Ride of the Valkyries by Domine (English version).

Originally, this was meant to be the first non-fantasy story I’d written, with a normal crime boss and a normal little girl with a teddy bear. The little girl was originally meant to have something similar to flipping a coin that would help her decide who lives and who dies. Valentine was heavily inspired by the valkyries of Norse Mythology who choose who may go Valhalla or not. Of course, she was also inspired by the whole “scary little girl” trope a lot of people do.

Anyway, this story was a lot of fun to write, despite my eternal frustrations with it. I hope you enjoyed it!