#bakugo analysis

[missingbk-dkhours]

Interesting bit about Bakugo’s character:

His eyes.

.

I was scrolling through some old liked videos on tiktok, and I encountered a post by user ttenkos (on tiktok) about how Katsuki’s eyes are hidden when he experiences a lot of hurt and emotion.

Because of that, it’s likely he’s crying here, they argued. (below)

Or he’s at least really hurt, and it’s apparent in his eyes.

And so a lot of us have made that connection. That Katsuki hides his face because he’s about to or is crying.

But like, I finally put two and two together and realized just how significant Katsuki’s eyes are—

Bakugo’s eyes betray his emotions.

Which is a trait unlike of any other character in My Hero.

This is established in the first damn chapter of the manga.

Bakugou’s eyes are like literally the thing that propelled this story forward because when Bakugo was shouting insults and blasting his quirk, they exposed his fear and motivated Izuku to act.

Then… Izuku tells Bakugo his secret. And the whole time, Bakugo is on the verge of crying.

From puffy eyes to a clouded glare, there’s something about his eyes in every panel.

He hides behind his hair for a while, and after that it’s revealed…

That Katsuki is crying :(

I love this scene so much. Wanna give it a kiss on the cheek /// there’s so much insight into their characters!

That same pattern is shown here:

And in that scene with Endeavor. But this time, he doesn’t cry when his eyes are exposed. Which I think says as much about his character as the previous examples.

.

.

.

And then there’s this, finally.

Yeah baby, that’s what I’ve been waiting for. That’s what it’s all about.

Anyways, there wasn’t really a point to this post. I just love what Horikoshi does with Bakugo’s character, and this little quirk (haha) of Bakugo just has a special place in my heart. So I wanted to share :)

[teenandbeyond]

Random BNHA Analysis (Again)

Hiii, so since yesterday I went on a whole 30 min long analysis after my first post. So today I'm going to be ranting about....buhbumdadaaaa

Katsuki Bakugo's Mentality! 🤯

It's long, but analysis usually is, so, oh well! Don't read if it's a problem for ya! 😜🤪

If you like this, check out my BakuDeku analysis!

💥💥💥💥💥💥💥💥

From the beginning his brain is warped into thinking he's the best. Those with Quirks on top, Quirkless the bottom.

Him? He's above them all.

He was taught that from the beginning.

"Your Quirk is so amazing."

"Your Quirk is the best."

Constantly getting those statements before you can even explore the world with this Quirk... Leads to a type of brainwashing.

So now as a child he has a superiority complex, due to society.

But then there's someone who breaks this molded ideal.

Izuku.

See, Bakugo is taught that people without Quirks are less than. Yet this little boy is brave and saves people despite not possessing one.

This makes Bakugo get angry because he contradicts what he's been taught, yet deep down he admires him for it.

In his mind he feels like he has to remind Izuku of his place. "I'm just helping you, maybe you got lost, this is where you're supposed to be. That's what I learned."

Izuku never stayed in that place, he always hoped for more. And when someone is brainwashed, it really ticks them off if someone breaks the mold they learned.

And when Izuku actually had the guts to stand up to him, it was past just the hopefulness. It probably scared him a little. "That's not what you're supposed to do!"

When you're brainwashed, something contradicting what you've been taught can be scary. Because then it makes you question what's really true.

I feel like the icing on the cake was the Hero versus Villains lesson.

First, the one who he thought was weaker than him stood a chance against him and WON.

This contradicts that people without Quirks are weak, especially considering Izuku had one now.

So in his mind, he probably thought he was tricking him. And if anything, mentally reassured him and disappointed him.

Assurance because, "Okay, now you're not contradicting what I've been taught."

But deep down, "I admired you because you didn't have a Quirk and did what you did, but you have one you've been hiding the whole time?"

Then also because of his superiority complex, "How dare you think you can trick me? You think you're better than me?"

But all this time something else has been building, and it cements itself in his brain when he sees Shoto's skill.

Bakugo gets a reality check when he sees that someone is stronger than him. And it scares him.

It's the start of his inferiority complex.

So now he starts to feel inferior, and tries to find ways to still prove to himself that he's the best.

The Sports Fest was about proving to himself that he was still good enough, not everyone else.

But when his win wasn't because he actually won, but because Shoto fell unconscious... He wasn't assured. If anything, it made his inferiority complex worse.

Then comes his internship. He was chosen because Best Jeanist wanted his personality to be corrected, his appearance.

Usually people fawned over his Quirk, but B.J. kind of brushed it aside.

"Yeah, you're Quirk's good. You know how to use it, but your personality sucks."

And this made him defensive, cause time and time again he'd been getting comments about his personality. And this is another contradiction, because he'd been raised this way. This is his normal. But there are people telling him it was wrong. Which makes him question things.

He also gets upset because he felt like he didn't learn anything to help his Quirk grow...

Not even realizing how much this would help him later. Which is why Jeanist became special to him after, too.

But back to that later.

Exams.

That also made his inferiority complex worse. It wasn't an easy win and he had to count on Izuku of all people.

This made him feel inferior to even him.

He was relentless and didn't want to give up because he didn't want to let himself down and feel like he's less than.

But he fell unconscious and needed Izuku to help him win.

I feel like because of that, he didn't want to be seen by anybody. So he avoided the class shopping trip.

Then I Island happened, again, he felt like he got to prove himself a little.

And after, camp.

The kidnapping.

Which was a lot more traumatizing to him than he let on.

His inferiority complex really hit him in the chest when he was the only one who got kidnapped. (After people already recognized him everywhere for the Sludge Villain incident where he was helpless ((which was also more traumatizing than he let on)).)

The only one people thought would go to the villain side.

And All Might stepping down from number one after saving him.

He was probably already beginning to blame himself, but what cemented the feeling, I think, was his mother's words.

"It's your fault. All this trouble is your fault."

Because that's what he says to Izuku when he confesses how he feels.

"It's my fault."

He sits in the blame he feels like everyone has on him.

Then once it's confirmed that Izuku gained the Quirk from All Might, his admiration is back.

And slowly, in this time, he realizes what Best Jeanist's point was.

Not everything is about Quirks, he needs to work on who he is.

So he starts working on his personality slowly outside the spotlight in season 4 (anime). Then it shows in Season 5 (anime) when he works with his team much better than before.

Season 6 (anime) he finally apologized to Izuku, which he had to grow past his pride to do.

And as time went by throughout the series, he desired to be Izuku's friend, like it should have been. He just had to learn to jump over the wall society put around the two of them. To learn that it was okay to be friends with someone Quirkless. To learn that there was more to people than their Quirks to define them and what they'll do.

He had to break from the mold.

And Izuku was a piece of that puzzle, as well as Eijiro, who opened him up to feeling equal with other people. Having people he could feel equal to. Having those he could appreciate even if they weren't at his level in terms of power. Someone real, who wasn't only his friend because of his Quirk. But really wanted to get to know HIM.

He's continuing to grow.

Just jumping in to save someone without thought? And Izuku at that? He wouldn't have done that months back.

If you think about it, his development has been the most teenager like.

But I think his pattern of development was different and made sense. He needed to learn how to focus on himself more than growing his already powerful Quirk because it was all that mattered to him.

And needed to learn how to love himself genuinely and love others.

Everyone else majorly needs to develop their Quirks, so outside of it being society's focus, that's where they need to grow the most.

Katsuki, on the other hand, is strong in what he can do with his Quirk. Just...not his identity outside of what he was told and molded to.

And how much he's grown so quickly shows that he probably already had a desire to, but didn't realize.

And even though he's fictional, as someone who loves to see people real or not grow...

I'm SO proud of him.

I can't wait to see how else he develops.

[addzpdf]

bnha chapter 362 has emotionally scarred me and i don't think i'll really recover from this. ever. so, major spoilers for bnha 362 under the cut, because i have thoughts, and i decided to not confine them to my friend's dms for once.

from a person who was a bakugo hater from the beginning of bnha to the sports festival arc, where i began to appreciate his character a little more, to eventually becoming a bakugo lover because i genuinely think he's one of the best written characters, i am d e v a s t a t e d.

i have a track record of liking characters that usually end up dead later on in the series, and this usually ranges from villains to protags to just side characters, and i think this is the most pain/surprise i've felt at one.

bakugo dying was honestly was one of the biggest plot twists ive seen horikoshi execute, because i genuinely do not think anyone expected it? i have never once seen a "bakugo dying" theory, although i'm sure some (or many) exist. whenever i thought of the ending of bnha, i always expected bakugo to be there at the end with deku (which i think was the general consensus of the fandom as well), and it was honestly shocking to see that image shattered by this chapter.

ofc, im saying all of this on the assumption that he's permanently dead, and with no malicious intent or hate to horikoshi for his decision - funnily enough, my favourite character dying is exactly what's gotten me back into actively wanting to keep up with the final arc, especially since my other favourite characters, dabi and todoroki, had what i considered an underwhelming face off (but i still think there's more to come on that front, or, at least, i hope.)

i also think the circumstances around bakugo's death were extremely sad.

his last thoughts were him wondering if he would ever catch up to deku, and that honestly broke my heart. i, personally, never paid much thought to how inferior (?) he had felt to deku in terms of their standing with all might, quirks wise, etc, after their conversation at ground zero that time (which is easily one of my favourite scenes in the whole show). the spotlight kind of faded away from that and onto other things and povs, so i kind of just assumed it was done and over with. bakugo was atoning, trying his best to help deku, cared for him in his own way, and it felt like he was growing and had become a lot more sure of himself, which is he had, and always had been in himself.

after all, this is the kid who went into that sports festival saying he would place first and actually did it.

it's even worse when i realised that bakugo nearly died, and then actually died, to the one person who technically saw him as nothing more than midoriya's best friend - he died to the one person in who's eyes he was never out of his friend's shadow.

but to a lot of other people, he hadn't been in midoriya's shadow. all might may have seen them as a package deal, and also focused more on midoriya for obvious reasons, but i doubt he ever considered bakugo to be secondary or inferior to midoriya. bakugo made himself known and was acknowledged by all of his peers as his own person.

he also had great mentors, like jeanist, who clearly cared for the boy and also acknowledged him as his own person with his own personality, techniques, dreams and goals.

personally, the most heartbreaking acknowledgement was aizawa screaming for someone to save bakugo so that he could become the number one hero in the future (chpt. 360, i think). i think i broke at that point, before bakugo even died.

bakugo had confidence in himself, but perhaps it was fragile when it came to this, and ofc i doubt he had much time to focus on himself aside from training and fighting, seeing as there was a war going on. maybe hearing it from shigaraki just made him wonder again.

i also think the whole sun eater pov in the previous chapter was quite nice to read. and then i got hit with the bakugo dying one chapter later, and that's when it really sunk in that that they were just kids, and even then it's just slightly older kids (the ua big three) fighting to save this one kid who's on the verge of death.

and, well, now bakugo isn't getting a graduation. lol, but like, in pain.

i, do, however, hold out hope for a comeback, possibly soon. not an entire revival, but aside from the "nitroglycerin has revival properties" theories, bakugo was interrupted in the middle of very explosive moves and combos, twice, by shigaraki. i don't think that won't have consequences, and i can only pray that he has an impact even after he's passed on.

in that way, i also felt like i should have expected bakugo to die, but i didn't. in a way, it makes sense. he's one of the main characters who's powerful and impactful emotionally to both the readers and the characters. his conflict with deku just ended, and they reconciled. bakugo gave his apology to deku, and had been atoning for ages before. we didn't get many panels or much spotlight on him after the vigilante arc, and the second we did, i should've seen it coming.

he's been extremely well written and gone through several arcs of character development - and, well, i don't think there's a lot more hori could have done with him, but i think everything is fine if he'd continued being a character just existing with the amount of development he did go through. like, it's alright to stagnate at that point, if that makes sense.

(sighs heavily) honestly, maybe me liking a character is a curse that immediately kills them /j

speaking of them just be kids, though, i think this panel broke me entirely with no hope for resuscitation (like bakugo ahaha /j) :

he's just a kid. like. damn.

also, when we all expected bakugo to have a connection to the second user, i didn't think it'd be like this, and end up with him dying 😭.

and speaking of ofa users, im looking forward to seeing deku absolutely losing it.

i have no idea what the point of this very wordy post was. i guess the only conclusion is that user merakimegumi loves bakugo very much and is quite devastated at his death, but holds out some hope for a revival. i wouldn't even be mad if horikoshi brought him back (maybe storytelling wise, maybe, but i think i'd mostly just cry from relief).

anyways, i still have more thoughts but it's 5 am, i'm procrastinating something, and i'm not able to think quite clearly.

funnily enough, though, a lot of good things have happened after that chapter tho. like damn, bakugo died before bsd S4 released? that's kind of funny 😭 /j

welp, gn.

end.

[cvntkisser]

Bitches be like "i hate character for [insert flaw]" and it'll be a flaw the character had when first introduced and worked on throughout the story and had an entire character arc about which ended in solid proof of changing for the better.

[ellisbian]

just making a remind how bakugou avoids kirishima who tries to reach him because he was worried bakugou felt tired and he wanted to help, here you may think bakugou hate touching and being touched and it’s true in a way but as soon as izuku grabs his arm, making puppy eyes he doesn’t even try to pull izuku out of him. and even if he acts all tough saying to deku he has just to be the cane he lets izuku grabbing and hanging on him.

i don’t want to make this post being about the evidence or not of the bakudeku, just wanted to focus on how katsuki accepts izuku’s help even if it may not seem, he’s just a fake hater who tries to convince himself and others he hates deku but there’s another truth .

[littleholmes]

I wasn’t going to cry because I saw the leaks and the fire it caused in the fandom earlier this weekend and I knew what was going to happen in the chapter this morning, and figured there’s likely a way Bakugo’s okay or will make it out of this, so I haven’t been too worried—but then I saw Aizawa’s face

I saw this look on Aizawa—who already screamed for someone to help his second problem child—now screaming again because his explosion son may very well have had his heart explode, and it was like being punched in the stomach and the air left me and I…

I’m…at a lost for words and feel grief for all of them, all of these kids and heroes, but especially for Aizawa who is sitting from afar watching this go down helplessly grabbing at his capture weapon because he can’t help his student, despite the fact that if he could, he absolutely would have. He’s screaming like a parent who helped all of his children before countless times (to the point of being physically incapable of helping the way he has before) but now no longer can as he watches the worst case scenario unfold before his eyes.

idk I’m rambling but this moment with Bakugo hurt but it hurt even more that we had to see Aizawa see something horrible happen to him and there was nothing he could do about it, while probably internally blaming himself that he wasn’t there to stop Bakugo from becoming another Shirakumo.

[yuwigqi]

I find short tempered, easily angered characters very funny. But if I actually like them, that's on a separate scale, and Sakura and Bakugo are on the opposite ends.

Sakura lashes out when angry when people are being sexist, sexually harassing her, not taking serious matters seriously, blatantly antagonizing her, and taking her friendship and comradeship for granted.

Bakugo lashes out in actually cruel ways over trivial and pretty matters.

Sakura lashes out as a defense mechanism. Bakugo lashes out as an offensive tactic.

There are times when Sakura is lashing out angrily and its completely unjustified and unhealthy. There are times when Bakugo's righteous anger is the most reasonable response.

Its also interesting how their story arcs are nearly mirrored as well. Sakura starts out weaker than her peers, and her story arc is working from the bottom to be equal to, and then stronger than her peers. Bakugo starts out well beyond his peers, and is learning to accept others becoming equally strong and stronger than him. Sakura is learning confidence. Bakugo is learning humility.

Sakura is meant to be unlikable for being bitchy. But she ended up being a power fantasy for kids who've been mistreated.

Bakugo is cautionary tale about a power fantasy gone wrong. But he ends up being a power fantasy for assholes.

[angstydisaster02]

An analysis about why Bakudeku is one of the most inspirational relationships. (Manga spoilers)

First part : my thoughts

Tbh, I really have this impression the manga is coming to an end very soon, which breaks my heart because I don’t know what I’ll do without my daily leaks. However, I trust Horikoshi about the rest of the story and I do think he’ll make an open ending about which “ship” is canon, even if we all know that the biggest and most developed relationship in the manga is bkdk.

It would be interesting to see the “after” of this war, the hospital beds, the tears because they lost people, the relief because it’s over and the final conversation beg the ending. Knowing Horikoshi until now, never made things randomly because everyone is thinking in advance, including the conversation between Izuku Midoriya and Katsuki Bakugo.

You can’t tell me the author of this manga who always did things with a smart brain will put aside such an important detail about the dynamic between his characters.

A part of me hopes we’ll have the bkdk talk at the hospital or somewhere else because there’s no way these two idiots keep living their lives as if nothing happened. I have high expectations due to the fanfics, but I’m pretty sure I’ll never be the same once the chapter with the bkdk talk comes.

Second part : the analysis feat manga panels

looking forward, it’s incredible how Izuku Midoriya and Katsuki’s relationship started in the worst way (I’m not including the childhood memories) and…Ended up being something like that.

I’m emotional when I think about everything they’ve been through, the many realizations about losing each other, the development of their relationship after an emotional scene such as Deku Vs Kacchan 2, the way they need to push each other’s up to be the best version of themselves in any situation.

It’s not a surprise if these two are mean to be canon (in a platonic or romantic to way, depends about your opinion !) and each little moment highlights this statement.

Think about it : they all learned one of few important things with the other’s presence by their side, on purpose or not. Their dynamic is something unique you can’t find in others shonen or mangas, because they have this specific bond, the one getting stronger though the years because their mistakes became a reason to improve and be a better person for this childhood friend they knew since the early days.

Izuku Midoriya needs Katsuki Bakugo like Katsuki Bakugo needs Izuku Midoriya.

You can’t take away this part of their soul, and even when people like AFO tried, they ended up paying the price by revealing how much they care about each other.

Don’t startd with the Heroees rising thing because I can write an entire novel about them, but this is another proof of how they’re made for each other. Their relationship improve though the years and it’s only the beginning, I can’t help but imagine how future bkdk will have an amazing relationship once they figured out everything and untold truths.

They’re each other’s pillars, holding the other up to do the best and watch from afar their other’s improvement.

That’s why the hospital conversation might be the peak of their relationship: the moment when they’ll both break their shield, welcoming the tears and listening how life is a fragile line on a thread.

None of them refuse to break this meaningful thread, because this is something they’ve built for years, and it’s their biggest strength (and biggest weakness like Shigaraki pulled out)

In conclusion: they’re driving me crazy and I have no regrets following their journey because it’s probably one of the best relationships I’ve seen (and I watched a lot of anime/manga, read a lot of books and they’re still superior !)

Thanks for reading my analysis because it’s one of my guilty pleasures when I’m passionate about something, especially my comfort ship ! Take care of yourself <3

[fireheartwraith]

I don't understand people who say Bakugou's bullying got to extreme physical levels to the point that he would burn Deku. I get saying that for ✨️angst✨️ in fanfics, but I genuinely don't think that’s the case in canon. I think the most extreme his bullying got is exactly what we saw: verbal abuse and destruction of property. Which is still bad, by the way (this is the way I was bullied too, so I know it's not fun), but also aligns more with his personality

Bakugou may be brash and aggressive but in some ways he is also a goody too shoes. He was top of his class (still is top 3 at UA) and knew that to achieve his goals of becoming number one hero and going to UA he would need a clean record. He stops his friend from smoking next to him just in case people smell the smoke on his clothes and think he was the one doing it, he would NOT be physically hurting Deku in a way that can so obviously be traced back to him.

Even if the teachers did nothing about the bullying, students are not supposed to use their quirks in non-hero schools, so he would at least get in trouble for that. There’s a reason he waited until there were no teachers around to bully Izuku. He’s too smart to leave any evidence of it on Izuku's body, as Izuku himself points out that Bakugou telling him to kill himself was reckless because if he did do it Bakugou would get in trouble.

TLDR: please stop thinking angst fanfics are canon, Bakugou was not going around burning Deku and breaking his arms

[ms0milk]

𝟏𝟑 | 𝐁𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐳𝐤𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐠

ー✧ prince!bakugou x royal guard!reader

"Inside of you, fury has been replaced by something black and entirely unfocused. He twists to glare at what has caught him under the arm. He blinks when he sees it is you."

no cw memories of an overprotective prince and high fever. author is blatantly in love with Kirishima. whole apologies, half apologies, wordless promises, technical treason. learning how to speak softly. covering each other's mouths so the truth can't slip out because I want them to kiss as badly as you do. somewhat suggestive. nonviolent touches in the palatial bedroom of a long-dead prince. part ii: fin 6.7k

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Mina Ashido is sick, not like you finally breathing softly on a bed the size of a merchant village, but with guilt. She flicks a bric-à-brac she found on some grand writing desk and Denki punches her shoulder when her nail taps the metal absentmindedly. Click. Thud.

Their eyes dart to the far side of the room across a row of white windows and stop on the knotted body of their prince, folded like a trench soldier on a chaise half his size. His hair shags over his sleeping face and crossed arms but Mina can still see the veins of his jaw, clenched and dreaming of adrenaline.

One loud sound might be it for them– Bakugou would eulogize sleep schedule before skinning them like fish but it’s four in the afternoon and Mina knows it’s actually because your fever broke this morning and he would detonate if anyone disturbed you.

You can lay there like an angel because you never really fall asleep, right? Sick as a dog and dreaming of work. Sero pokes his head inside for a second to check the firewood cache and steps out again. Kirishima wears a path from the kitchen to your new bedroom with his constant lumber deliveries because he knows you wouldn’t want to see him at your bedside. Dead, conscious, or otherwise. All four of them rot.

You make a spectacle of the prince wherever he’s seen with you and this time you weren’t even awake to witness your destruction. Bakugou, dripping wet for some reason, roared through the halls of Takoba at midnight which wouldn’t have been special save for how tightly he held you and how little you moved. Safe but limp in the crook of his neck.

The castle at midnight is so much more lovely than during the day. There are no accusing Takoban eyes to make your Alderan shoulders itch and there was no loss of dignity in practicing her waltz in an empty ballroom. Mina swayed safe and alone and filled with excitement for the impending party. She anticipated Uraraka and practiced her flirtiest glances to deploy when the soldier inevitably found her, as she did every night, and sent her back upstairs. Mina was just a mage after all, not a lord or lady. Not a royal guard.

Boom! Rattled the ceiling from the floor above and where Mina was expecting a round-faced girl she’d gotten a heart attack. She snapped her candle in a startled fist at the first familiar eruption and darted up two staircases to Kirishima’s quarters with the second and third.

The Champion was already half dressed. The heartbeat of the castle woke him up, the sound of hundreds of little bees mobilizing at royal orders.

They joined the flocks of servants and butlers in their night clothes all crowding, choking yawns, and rushing through the hallways, up higher and deeper into those frozen parts of the castle where their prince’s fury vibrated. The place no one dared breathe since the king left eleven years ago.

The North Wing was closed forever and someone had lit a spark at its highest point. Maids to her right, butlers and nurses to his left, Kirishima and Mina became insignificant in the river of nightgowns and candles and slippers and whispers. Who could he have possibly picked a fight with at this hour? The farther Takobans hiked, the deeper their bones felt the cold in this place no one should be. Death march.

“Katsuki!” Someone rasped. The Champion hoisted Mina onto his shoulders when they could no longer force themselves forward up stairs and through archways. Only little Shuzenji’s great big voice called out clearly for the crowd to hear, “Katsuki– you’ll be arrested, this– this is, I mean, you’re– fuck.”

At the end of the hallway, two red doors hung open, one truly dangling by its top hinges. The prince crouched just inside, squat by the light of a beautiful fireplace and its fine tinder. Chairs and ottomans, a writing desk, curtains and rugs, all delicate and silver and crushed and melting and screaming with moisture in a white Alderan fire.

“She needs fresh air and a fucking fireplace.”

You were melting in his arms too, quietly.

Sweating and indifferent to how carefully he supported the back of your head or with what level of self control it took for him to surrender you into the lap of the exasperated Takoban doctor. 

“This is a lot of fuss for a fever, Katsuki.”

“Get useful or die trying.”

Six footmen at the front of the crowd panicked at his words and knelt immediately to collect splinters from shattered furniture. They winced as the crowds continued to push around and above them to get a view of just what the Alderan guest would do with Prince Touya’s long dead bedroom.

He knelt in it. When the fire in its Place wheezed, he fed it the dead boy’s gilded furniture and knelt again near you.

He lurched but didn’t strike when you were moved from the floor to the bed and found a seat again. He glared at loud noises from the foot of the bed but sat still as superstitious servants trembled while lighting candles. He rumbled when Princess Fuyumi squeezed herself through the frozen crowd with Uraraka in tow and immediately made an order for fresh bedlinens and firewood because before anything, before she was even a sister she was a saint.

He didn’t do too much more than that. He sat like a threat until dawn while staff and nurses buzzed around to make the North Wing breathe again. He waited for arrest.

He frowned at his Alderan company as they hovered in the doorway and sometimes he let them sit with you when he knew he needed to sleep. He balled his fists as he told them your secret and nothing else. More than anything he waited for you to wake up.

Prince Bakugou sleeps like a psychopath, you bewilder as you rub your eyes. He’s still pretty, knotted half a million ways to hell on the velvet chaise across the room and seeing him asleep is much more unusual than seeing him surrounded by books like this. There’s a pile at his feet and another at his head and a console table between them for his teacup and a pen.

It’s less scary to think about touching him when he’s sleeping. About rubbing his shoulder with your soft palm and stumbling back to this obnoxiously comfortable bed with his heat at your back– no. About rolling over in this obscenely large bed through morning chill and sunlight to find his magic-worn hands already pulling you against him. Fumbling to tuck every part of you inside his arms half-alseep– slipping under your–

About finally throwing your weapon aside as dust settles, victorious, and rattling his skull with the bloodiest punch you can manage. Breaking your fingers on his golden jaw– about kneeling over his battered body, panting, as he uses the last of his strength to raise his arms, to– no– to trace his fingers over your cheeks– no– and through your hair where you loom above him. About letting him pull you down with the last of his strength to kiss you on the battlefield.

Something outside clatters and crashes and your eyes fly open as you sit up in the room you made in a dream. You rub your eyes, deja vu, and spot your golden prince right where you left him. Scowling, pretty, on a sofa across a veritable ballroom in the afternoon sun. Someone shouts outside and you lurch from an aggressively comfortable bed with the confidence of a person who has just woken up without a question for reality. You are a Captain and there’s violence outside the place where your prince is sleeping. No thoughts to your ten-pound beddress or the continental mystery bedroom or the fire that blazes in its white marble fireplace.

“You oaf!” Someone hisses as you pitter-patter pitter-patter and clear the room barefoot to throw open one of two elven doors. That someone is Mina. She is pretty and pink and she stares at you with her mouth open in a hallway cold enough to outline her breath in small puffs of shock.

Takoba is a series of beautiful rooms tied to tall hallways, this one’s no different. Mina is bathed in the warmest sunlight November can offer even in a place like this and she’s hunched and pointing in the middle of scolding Sero who has also frozen to stare at you on his knees halfway through reaching for a log that’s gotten well away from him.

“Do you need help?”

Mina reaches for you like the air is too thick to move. You almost call her Lady again before you remember.

“Y/n,” she breathes. Sero is forgotten on the floor because you’re suddenly here in this doorway while the last vestiges of sleep drip off of you, gooey, onto the marble. “Y/n, are you–” she slips your hands into hers when she manages a step forward.

Bakugou and the sea, right? A column of fire in your chest and a trip back home. Was touching him a dream? They’re no lords. I hate you. One lost Alderan earring and two hands holding you. Yesterday they were golden and trembling.

Mina’s fingers twitch with every word out of her mouth, “I’m so sorry.”

“Mina, don’t–” Sero tries to stop her.

“We’re so sorry, Y/n, so so sorry, please gods we’re–” 

“Mina.”

Her body goes rigid but her hands stay soft on yours when she snaps at him, “Like you weren’t in tears two days ago! Don’t pretend to be cool.”

You become aware of your clothes for the first time when you consider their earnest Alderan faces and your tangled hands. Completely unarmed in a quilted dress that drags on the ground. Seashells twinkle when you move.

“Course I’m sorry,” Sero shudders. He rises and your eyes finally adjust well enough to sunlight to catch Denki statue-still beside a window where it appears you burst onto the scene as he was making to close it, “she’s my Captain.”

If you weren’t still processing his lack of lordship you’d order him to his knees for the treason of calling you Captain. What purpose does he serve in the castle? A mage like Mina? You cock your head and stuffy nose, and shift to shake away the inconvenient thought that someone’s been calling you Captain for weeks with no punishment. Denki breathes, “Katsuki told us.”

“We thought you knew– we never meant to–!” And again your attention is on Mina, desperately closer than she’s ever been. Closer than anyone’s dared to hold you gently, “We thought you were playing Y/n, we– I should have said something.”

And of all the things to remember from last night, delirium and immodesty, a humiliating rescue, thoughts that meant to stay inside forever, I hate you, the taste of someone else’s teasweet breath– the one bites the least. They’re not lords.

It’s cold out here, you should invite the lot of them inside to warm up. You should ask them where the fuck you are.

“It’s my mistake Ms. Mina,” you smile pretty like you’ve trained for, “Harmless. Don’t worry.”

Three huge eyes blink out of sync surely because someone thought it was funny to put you in a queen’s night dress and hide your shoes. It’s better they’re not lords to be seeing you in the state.

“We,” Sero starts confidently and trails off with the syllable. Mina’s thinking.

Denki takes his turn beside the window and the three of you turn to his light, “We watched you grow up in that beautiful castle,” he hums. He has spoken with you twice, three times now, and it’s never been particularly affective or affectionate but he’s right that home is beautiful. Aldera is lots of things. You falter in the doorway now that adrenaline has bled from you into Mina’s hands. “You were in my letters class.”

Eight years old and late for Letters in a thunderstorm that swept you to the prince and clobbered you both with peaches. The students gaped when you stepped inside, dripping rainwater and bruised, to take your seat at the head of the class with a weapon still strapped to your back. Denki looks as if on the verge of tears which all feels a bit melodramatic for one damp day fifteen-some years ago. “I was afraid of you. Y/n, I’m so sorry.”

“I –” Mina releases your hands so she can stand a bit taller, so you turn, “I believed what people told me, Y/n, I’m sorry. I listened in the kitchens and spellhalls when they told me you never eat or sing, I believed them every time I scurried past your post with an errand and back again where you hadn’t moved a breath for hours.” It’s kind that she’s not touching as she speaks but the cold of the hallway is pinching your stupid bare feet. You never cared enough to pay attention to her either, why should she apologize? You never noticed her out of the tens of children that studied with you, worked around you, served you, fell to you in training. 

“When you didn’t recognize us at the start of the trip I thought you were so cool. I thought, no, it was just so cool to be traveling with the only Alderan apprentice– Spear of the Queen– you– I watched you get stronger for years. Sero would come to the potion pantry while Kaminari and I organized and gush about any impossible whathaveyou Jeanist’s Second pulled off in the gallery that day. Any Alderan could recognize you from footsteps, you’re– I– I’m not doing a good job.”

“She’s sorry.”

“I’m sorry,” she confirms and hovers between your bodies like she’s warming her hands with your fire. “You’re a hero. I’m just a training mage the prince can’t get rid of and you’ve saved the skin off our skulls more times than there are calendars. Y/n,” you look between Mina who presses no closer and the boys behind her, “I’m a coward, I want to know everything about you.”

You are ridiculous, dressed up in a doorway at noon with no idea how you got there and a weakness in your gut that teeters on allconsuming the longer you let it alone. You are a soldier. You are Jeanist’s soldier, you are his prodigy you should have shoes– 

Something startles your Alderan company, shoulders jumping, and Sero plummets to a knee when he registers the dark cloud gathering behind his commanding officer wilting in a nightgown by the sea.

“Wers, there he–”

“I am bound by blood and at your service, my Captain! My behavior is unacceptable while you have been serving alone in Takoba.”

A soldier then. Mina turns from her friend on the floor to gauge your new reactions while Denki presses two footsteps closer. That night comes back in pieces. You reach for your ear and pinch one lobe in icy fingers while the Alderans look on. What part of the dream is this? First Bakugou, his warmth and anger now these three? What will this one melt into? More atrocities on the battlefield? Send them away.

You feel the bark in your throat and wait to see which one of them will scurry from you first. Have they heard your soldier’s voice before?

Go on. No one moves because you can’t actually make the sound. Sero doesn’t raise his head. They are mages and you outrank them. Be gone. “Just–” what finally comes out isn’t the voice of a soldier at all, “please.”

“I’ll help you to bed,” Mina tentatively leans forward as you lean exactly back.

“not necessary.”

“Y/n, you’ve been out for three days,” Denki closes in too, “We’ll throw some logs on your fire and get out of your hair, but first can we make sure you’re okay? Call the doctor and get you some food?”

You can only lean so far before you need to take a step, and then only so far after that before your back hits the door that has shut behind you. You haven’t been sick because you don’t get sick. You’ve been dreaming, too much, which is worse.

A series of hollow crashes startle the Alderans again half out of their coats but you haven’t been caught by surprise in seven years.

“Y/n,” Kirishima hardly whispers, barely breathes where he’s appeared a little ways down the hall, dropping stacks of lumber from his arms onto the marble. He didn’t grow up in the castle. He showed up a few years ago stuck to the hem of Bakugou’s cape like tree sap and he’s always made every effort to smile. A smile from a stranger doesn’t mean much.

“Y/n,” he whispers again and staggers forward like he’s tried to catch himself from tripping, “you’re–” at first he is relief and then you remember, in a moment of lucidity, that you’re upset with him. “You’re awake.”

His limp hair flounders red in your direction. What right does he have to look so disheveled? Dark circles and a creased forehead, for what? His palms and sleeves are flecked with splinters and filth that he tries to brush off in his steps over firewood– tree trunks really– that now litter the hallway.

Fury gives you the strength to step forward, “You–”

“You,” the distance is closed. Alderans have stopped pressing into you and watch their companion, rosy cheeks, dark stubble, smile lines thrown to the wayside and big, wet eyes, reach, “You scared me.” And on contact he dissolves into a sob.

Kirishima grabs your sleeve first without his usual care and wrenches you deep into his arms. Maybe you’re tired, you don’t strike him as he shakes.

“You, you have to tell someone, Y/n,” you can only hear the words through vibrations in his chest and now the whole hallway smells like sweet Alderan fire. You should be suffocated, furious, you shouldn’t close your eyes. “You can’t just collapse. No one needs to be that strong– it– you– ’m so sorry.” 

The Champion’s fingers clutch at the back of your neck and shoulders but you’re too charged by shock to register until the warmth, the fire and safety, pulls you away by the cheeks. Kirishima cradles your face in two hands that could crush and tries to speak through agony. Drowning teardrops plummet off his black lashes, “must have been so lonely.”

And what Mina saw as exhaustion, Sero anger, folds the corners of your mouth like paper, lips trembling, and wets both eyes with a blink.

It is something inexplicable like being thirteen on your way home from Peruro. A day of joy, song dance and feats of strength. Fencing competitions. They don’t give toy swords to soldiers and so you slipped inside the quietest part of the celebrating castletown, victorious two years running, bloodied and something more than tired. Crunch. As you approached the basin in the stables for jockeys to rinse mud from their eyes, you lifted your boot just enough to watch the broken green body of a mantis fall apart between the ground and your tread. One thin arm, little just like yours, remained untouched by your footprint and detached entirely from the creature that was just two more arm’s-lengths too slow.

You were startled for the last time in your glance to the mirror. You usually rinsed muck or sweat off your cheeks in the stables and the horses were here, the smell and warmth were here, but today you were splashed in blood. And so much worse than that, tears ran clean streaks through the filth. When you fall to pieces in your beautiful dress beside the sea it is impossible to hide.

“Please can we help you?” Kirishima blubbers through a smile before you nod, and he pulls you back in tight.

It is so strange to be held and uninjured. A hand materializes at the top of your head and more bodies surround you in the dark of Kirishima’s chest. Splinters poke at your cheeks but you press through them. You hold tight to the fabric of his sleeves and wrap a warm finger around the cold fingers that find yours.

It’s condescending and so unnaturally welcomed. You can’t even cry right. The tears fall and your voice breaks uneven because you’ve forgotten how to breathe with a lump in your throat, how long has it been? Steady arms hold you upright as you try to remember. Anything for you, Majesty. Don’t need a babysitter. Who’re you lookin at? Cover yourself. Captain! Y/n! Yes sir. Yes sir. Yes sir.

“I’m.. ‘m so hungry,” you sob in muffled fragments and the Champion rumbles with true tearful laughter,

“She’s hungry!”

Mina wraps herself around your back and grips the knit of Kirishima’s tunic to keep all three of you tight together. She’s crying too from the sound of it, and rambling as always through the tears, “Don’t just drop dead in the hallway for Kats to collect! Thought he was gonna torch the castle–” she shakes you all, Kirishima as the lighthouse, “my blood pressure’s never recovering from this week snakes from on high I know we deserved it but we haven’t had a moment’s rest with that lunatic playing bedside officer,” she is still gentle when she touches you, when she cups your face, when she leans herself into the Champion’s hold to be that much closer, “I’m a much better nurse, Y/n, promise, I promise wouldn’t–”

“Talkin shit?” 

What if someone had found you that day in the stables, instead of clapping you on the back for the day’s bloody victories and ignoring your red rimmed eyes? Bakugou crosses his arms over his golden chest and leans against the doorway framed by fire whipping in the bedroom behind him. It’s subtle, but the heat’s made his ears pink. No one moves.

“A bit..”

Mina stuffs her hand over Kirishima’s wobbling lips before he says anything else to get you all sent to the gallows. You just watch and the prince watches back. Over the Champion’s soft forearms and part of a filthy cotton coat, and partially through Mina’s hair. Bakugou’s collarbones roll with his breath where they poke out from his soft tunic, same with his stomach. It fills slightly with each heartbeat like he’s still too sleepy to harden himself and his posture.

You’re warm in this November hallway and your heart has been picked open by fruithungry doves. Bleeding down the front of this nice white nightgown, pooling rich at your feet. It’s easier to look at him when you’re crying. You stare through a crack in the hug with stray tears tumbling from your eyes like springs.

I’m not letting you out of my sight.

“Go on then, down mutts.” The prince unfolds and steps forward to pry Mina’s arms apart, “Couldn’t trust you assholes to be quiet if I cut your tongues out.”

His Alderan company thaws slightly at the sarcasm and the hands tying you together unravel at every angle under his orders until you are the only one standing on the stain your bleeding heart made.

Prince Bakugou is not the same as he was when he carried you from the sea. He surveys your heavy beddress and bare feet with a frown but no fireworks and today he’s wearing no jewelry at all. Not a ruby, bone, nor sun in sight. He is still clearly out of place here, golden milk and glowing like coals; two red eyes that love to glare and his lips that called your name as you both choked on ocean foam.

“Hungry?”

You nod and the shake dislodges loose tears.

He grunts and tips his head towards the bedroom door, “Back inside. The rest of you,” and then turns to his company who has stiffly lined up along the wall to try and avoid the punishment their prince laid out very clearly in the event a series of Alderan shenanigans woke you up, “put your pea brains together and track down Uraraka– she’s late. And stop fucking crying.”

The prince would pull rank against a baby. He oozes control and ego and desperation for the self and it is infuriating how much he gets away with and how often he is right. His eyes are pomegranate seeds behind slits that shift constantly towards you in the cold hallway.

“Go on.”

You exchange a glance with your company behind you and each one of them is glowing with life. Mina has cleaned herself up with a smile and Denki leans against her, almost behind her, grinning nervously at his hellfire prince. Sero and Kirishima fight back tears and the lot of them hold their breath. Maybe that’s what you felt die inside of you.

The mages delay their prince’s orders no longer. They file down the hallway. “Welcome back, Y/n!” Mina waves and rolls her eyes at Bakugou’s seething.

“Rest well,” Kirishima smiles and wipes his eyes with his filthy sleeve while collecting the logs he dropped. Denki manages a curtsy, which makes you laugh, and they all round the corner with unsubtle exhales.

For all his spitfire, cunning and rage, for all their worry and apology, your Alderan company never objects to leaving you alone with the prince. For all their apologies, for all his harsh words and actions. Is it their trust in you, or their trust in him?

Alone and for a moment you stand just two arm’s lengths away from your prince while he looks pointedly down the hallway after their footsteps. His posture is returning. He rakes his hand like a claw through his hair to settle in itch and pauses for one more beat before turning to you. Prince Bakugou saved your life and you told him you hate him.

He cocks his head, “You look like shit.”

“Feel like shit, Highness.”

One fricative cough like laughter slips out of his chest and his eyes widen a bit, as if surprised by himself, before settling back to a scowl. He’s soft today, sleep deprived. You wipe the last of the salt from your eyes.

“Go back inside,” He instructs as he moves forward and corrals you back step by step.

“Where am I?”

Fury has been replaced by something wet inside of him, doused and smoking like a forest fire. He slips past you inside the white bedroom and marches to the camp he set up around the chaise to collect two books and a pen, which he tucks inside one cover before sticking both volumes under his arm. Prince Bakugou saved your life and slept beside you, and you told him you hate him.

You step toward him when he walks past again, this time out into the hallway, just too quickly for you to trap him with a stare. Your stomach cramps with hunger and your throat is dry from crying.

“Just go lay down.”

He does not get farther than one step over the threshold before you reach though, and clutch the hem of his tunic in a clammy hand.

Inside of you, fury has been replaced by something black and entirely unfocused. He twists to glare at what has caught him under the arm. He blinks when he sees it is you.

Prince Bakugou saved your life. He turns now when you dare to touch him, and when he looks at you the smoke inside him pours from his ears. The eye contact is not difficult like a spotlight or the sun, it’s more like a candle in the dark that stains the backs of your eyes for many few minutes. He looks like a dream in your delirium. What you must look like beneath him..

He squeezes his books tight under his bicep and fully squares himself to you, “I didn’t,” he starts. It’s a croak. it’s foreign to speak so softly as he speaks now, so softly you drop your hand from him and lean away. His ears are still red. “I didn’t tell them,” he frowns with thought, “about the sea.”

You are a liar. You stare at him like always and today like a void, and melt a little in front of the candle he is. What else is there to say? You nod and move away. His wax will burn you.

“Don’t–” he huffs. You weren’t surprised for seven years, not through contests or training, not under orders, not truly by the queen at the foot of your bed all those weeks ago, not camping with your new company and holding magic in your palms, not by blue fire. Bakugou clutches your wrist, your hand, when you turn away from him and the static shock makes each hair on your body tremble. He squeezes your fingers through the goosebumps.

“Don’t ever–”

“Yes sir.”

“– not ever again.”

“Yes–”

“Y/n.”

You look forward unblinking while your prince reels you in like a fish, rolling your fingertips in his palm. You can’t even manage a frown when you face him, all that bubbles up is bitten lips.

You get one more chance to look at him and when you do he doesn't bark or spit. Earnest red eyes watch under a frown.

“Just a prayer gone wrong, Highness. I promise.” You can’t feel the faint smile. You do not know what makes his eyes widen or scowl fall.

Someone clears their throat in the doorway behind him and the pair of you jump. Bakugou is quick to catch the books that fall from under his arm and you both rush to wipe your hands at your hips. Uraraka. She leans her weight against the door, “Sleeping beauties,” and smiles at you while your prince jerks away.

“You’re late,” he spits and pushes into the hallway.

“High Lords are waiting.”

“Spare me.”

Uraraka preens less than your Alderans but still ushers you to bed and rings a bell on the wall labeled ‘kitchen.” A log falls in the fireplace. Embers spit onto the marble hearth. The last glimpse of gold you catch is in your prince closing the bedroom door behind him, his hand like a claw again violently tousling his hair. You are a liar, you lie and tell lies, and you do not hate him at all.

Embarrassment is replaced with shame when you learn the princess has filled your new dressers with her old winter nightclothes. And when Uraraka tells you about her brother, the late prince, and his palatial bedroom locked away from the world with his mother’s sorrow.

You will find the princess tomorrow and press your head to the floor at her feet, you will kneel to the queen in thanks for her generosity, but tonight you will find your prince.

It won’t take long. Uraraka told you where his meeting was while she braided your hair and only half-heartedly instructed you to stay in bed when you asked for privacy. There is no lame guard stationed outside of this room, a room so high in the castle the fireplace can suck oxygen straight from the night sky above you. Warm like home. It’s easy to keep a fire that excited alive so you tent logs over the embers to feed it while you’re gone. Your white arming doublet blocks the cold– dragontooth brooch glowing– when you step into the hallway lit by torchlight, a gift and invitation from Master Aizawa.

The hallway is thawing slowly from it’s edges to its center and seems to be lined with every flammable item one could think of; candlesticks, torches, candelabrum, chandeliers– if a flame escaped from your fireplace the castle would burn from this hallway to it’s cornerstones like a match.

You smile watching the fire dance in place as you walk past them and into darker parts of the castle. Down staircases and through white hallways lined with their seed-sized carvings. Your temples ache with the change in temperature.

“Office of the King?” You ask a passing footman and they make a point to avoid eye contact before murmuring directions and shuffling away. Deeper you descend and even with rest and warm food in your belly your lungs start to work with great effort. “Office of the King?” You catch a housekeeper this time who is less timid but still keeps his head down like you are a noble.

“Straight ahead,” he points and when he bows slightly to leave you no longer register his presence, because a fluffy golden head slips back inside the only door in the hallway. You step down the last stair in front of you and into the corridor. Your boots would creak on wooden floors at home but along the marble you are silent.

There aren’t half enough torches down here to adequately light the way or warm the castle from the chill of its many windows. The door your prince tucked back inside of glows when you approach it. This is when you would steady your hand on your weapon, or shift your shoulder blades to feel the weight of your master’s halberd.

Office of the King. You trace the silver details with eyes and fingers because it is beautiful and you have finally found all the places your prince could possibly hide. With your relief you should have considered how to hide from him. The door flies open with too little forewarning for you to dodge and stops just short of knocking you across an already throbbing temple. Bakugou emerges in an air of tempest.

“Knew it,” he crackles like you are exactly who he was looking for and is wholly aggravated by it, “you��re fucking fired, get back in bed.”

He is wearing fine silks from Aldera and their golden fixtures and tassels stop your heart. His hair is soft tonight. It is pushed back with a jeweled comb so that pointed fringes fall barely over his eyes while medals and brooches pin silk in a bunch at the shoulder of his gambeson. He looks more like a general ready for war than a guest in a seashell castle.

The prince simmers, “We’re planning the ball not a coup, I don’t need a sentinel.” And squints when you don’t budge, eyes unfocused. He tuts his head in the direction you came, “Rest. Now.”

“Yes Majesty– Highness,” you snap and reach for a pair of passing maids who squeak when they can’t get past the Alderans fast enough to hide, “one of you, fetch me a chair.”

“Belay that,” he growls and they squeak again, “you’re a fucking handful.”

Bakugou pauses on you for three seconds and rolls his eyes before turning back inside to address someone, “Please continue without me,” with a voice you’ve never heard before.

When your prince walks you back to your bedroom he steers you from just slightly behind and at the exact angle you would use to escort a prisoner to the Hold. The only signs from him are in the thick of his black trousers beside your own legs or a sleeve ushering you up a staircase. When your breathing becomes obvious he slows pace. If you lean the wrong direction his head dips down close to glare and guide you with a trail of smoke. He’s only this quiet when he’s thinking.

What’s the time? Stars twinkle at the highest points of the castle lined with your torches and tall windows.

“Ahead,” Bakugou murmurs and waves you forward with an open palm to the red doors around the bend. Your own corner of Takoba. You don’t remember the night that you came here. You don’t remember anything past, ‘I hate you.’

The prince clears his throat to answer your unvoiced question, “Shuzenji arranged it. Told the queen you needed a fireplace.” He walks clear through the logical spot to stop and leave you on your own for the evening, and marches right beside you to the doors. Add the doctor to your tour of thank yous and apologies.

“I told that shit guard not to leave you alone. You’re gods' perfect little flight risk.”

It would be easier to stand close together if you still brimmed with unbridled fury. You drift beside him, too tired for any strong feelings one way or another. He does not hint at eruption. Your prince only grumbles and watches to make sure you step fully inside after pushing down the door’s silver handle.

The wave of hot air inside is a cushion at the end of what should have been a simple journey and instead knocked the four winds out of you. They were telling the truth, you must have been fighting something for days. It could be midnight, it could be dusk, your body cannot tell the time past its fatigue. There’s one more thing you have to do before you can give it what it wants.

“Kirishima’s coming to morning meetings tomorrow. I don’t need you both,” the prince speaks awkwardly loud like the thought came out too fast. He is telling you to rest.

“Yes, sir.”

“Wait for summons.”

He’s asking you to trust him.

“Yes sir.” You are too tired to lace the words with instigation and so Bakugou does not flinch like you like him to do when you call him sir. You turn away from the white warmth, fine cushions and curtains and fireplace, back to His Highness still stood stubbornly under your doorway. His headpiece glistens in the moonlight.

You will be his Captain and you are not too good for a borrowed pair of greaves. You do not hate him. He can be the first stop on your tour.

Weary in your own little world and surrounded finally by fire, you steady your hands at your side and bend to take a knee. Forgive my…lots of things. “I’m–”

But Bakugou reacts again faster than you can fall. He jerks forward and catches you by both shoulders with his spark-leathered hands. The the last creature alive that can still startle you, not with his hold or speed, not with his magic, but his eyes. He stares through you in distress behind a pinched and stormy gaze. Spilled wine.

“Do not.” His voice rumbles through his touch. He pulls you up to standing and does not back away. Each hint his shoulders give promises that he will close any gap you try to make and so you do not move. He’s warm, his ears are red. Bakugou reaches between the gold clasps of his tunic and pulls out his fist for you to puzzle over in the few seconds it takes him, first to breathe, and then to open his hand.

One tiny sun, no bigger than an apple seed and polished to its core, twinkles like a spark on his palm.

He makes fine magic for you, he always has and you’ve never known it. He breathes again, “I. I’m..”

And you don’t mean to startle him, touch or stop him, but you do all three in rapid succession. Your hand jumps to his mouth because you don’t know how else to stop the birth of a star. You’re not ready for an apology.

His eyes mirror yours in their paralysis, his cloudy, yours panicked. His lips are damp. They part against your skin for a moment as he breathes once more deeply. As he closes his eyes– breathes you in. As you contend with the pulse of his tongue one last shock away from tasting the salt between your fingers. He is soft here. Here and when he wraps his own hand around your knuckles to disarm you. He does not let go when he lowers your hand, he does not let go after tucking the sun into your palm and closing your fist around it. Just for a moment.

Infinity is what exists in the void that replaced your fury and tonight it is full of fruit. Bruising peaches. Falling plums. Sneaking dinner under the Oak to watch his twinkling magic and to hide from crowds. Never questioning why students who told ghost stories about the child soldier never dared to bother you. Ignoring the peculiarity of Jeanist taking only one apprentice.

Inside, your expertly timed fire eats itself up in the silence and collapses to break the trance.

Immediately Bakugou dips away. He pulls back like you were the one holding him in place and leaves you briskly with his heart in your hands. He shakes his head and barks like a startled dog and does not look behind him, “Another time.”

The fire giggles and spits out embers. He hurries down the hallway because something in him died at sea to save you.

As you jump and skitter inside to the smell of smoldering rugs, your brooch and earring lay side by side where you toss them and leave them and try to sleep despite them, safe on the green velvet chaise.

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[dynamightmite]

Some of the responses to my last post have made me realize that maybe Bakugo's trauma isn't as well understood as some of the other characters', and, because I have free time today, I figured I might as well break it down in chronological order and work from there (warning you now: this will be long).

To begin with, there's a lot of obvious things about the Sludge villain incident that would be traumatizing for basically anyone. And as much as Bakugo tried to shove off the after-effects, we know he was scared:

But there are a lot of Bakugo-specific reasons why the Sludge villain really fucked with his confidence and sense of self-worth. For one thing, while we see Midoriya getting attacked, he's rescued by All Might almost instantly. He barely has time to realize he's suffocating before he's free. Bakugo? Not so much. It's unclear how long, exactly, the Sludge villain holds him hostage, but it's at least a few minutes. Which doesn't sound very long until you remember that Bakugo was fourteen, couldn't breathe, and, because he isn't stupid, was completely aware that multiple pro heroes were basically standing around watching him be brutalized and doing absolutely nothing to help.

The only person who did help was Deku. The only person. The only person who gave enough of a shit about Bakugo to try and save him was the person he has the most complicated relationship with: his rival, his victim, his childhood friend, the person he feels both the safest and most exposed with. The person he measures himself against constantly, and internally finds himself lacking. So not only is all of this happening, but Deku—who just hours earlier Bakugo was mocking for being weak—is the one person strong enough to try and do something, and gets front row seats to Bakugo's own weakness.

Then All Might shows up and saves Bakugo from what is, at that point, the most humiliating, terrifying thing that has ever happened to him. But of course Bakugo isn't happy about it; he never wanted to be saved by All Might, and meeting his hero for the first time the way he did? What Bakugo wanted, desperately, was to prove himself to All Might, and instead he's just another dumb kid that got saved from a villain attack by the greatest pro hero who ever lived.

Not only that, but this was in public. It was televized. Bakugo was made so famous for it, people recognized him years later on the street based solely on his face. And while theoretically that's great exposure for him, imagine if the worst, most degrading moment of your entire life was broadcast on live, national television, and constantly brought up like some funny anecdote by people who don't even know you. He was fourteen years old being physically assaulted and strangled in front of the entire country and unable to do anything about it. Not only did that damage his pride, but it really fucked with him mentally. Look at what Midoriya even says about him:

That's not even to begin talking about how much pressure he puts himself under to be the best, no exceptions. He has a full-on panic attack when he loses in Deku vs. Kacchan 1 because he ties his self-worth so completely to winning he thinks of himself and worthless without it. Look how deeply it affects him:

That's not just bruised pride, that's Bakugo dealing with every single one of his insecurities being laid bare in public again. It's gonna just keep happening, too. And sure, like with this fight, sometimes he brings it on himself, but. Holy shit, this poor kid.

Then, of course, we have the kidnapping.

Despite their misapplication of their information, the LoV actually understands Bakugo pretty well. By that I mean, they figured out what affects Bakugo the most and capitalize on it to try and win him over to their side. They attack his image as a hero. Which seems kind of lame and generic, except it really hits home. Why?

Because that's his biggest insecurity, his deep, dark shame: Bakugo doesn't think of himself as heroic.

He's an excellent fighter and strategist, he's fearless, able to work well under pressure, adaptable, quick-thinking, and extremely powerful. All incredible traits for a hero. What he doesn't have is an instinct to save others. Deku does; he'll reach his hand out to anyone, without thought, no matter the cost to his safety/happiness. But Bakugo consistently struggles with this aspect of being a true hero. He's very aware of how important it is—every time he talks about Deku looking down on him, the thing he was laughing at Bakugo for? Yeah, this is it—and how very much he lacks it. And the LoV rubs his face in the fact that not only do a bunch of villains see him as being villainous, but the public he's supposed to be well on his way to protecting do, too. Yeah Aizawa defends him, but of course that whole experience negatively affects Bakugo. Especially because of what comes after.

Deku vs. Kacchan 2 is probably the closest Horikoshi comes to stabbing the audience through the brain with a knife labeled "Bakugo's trauma".

The whole fight is just Bakugo baring his soul in the most raw, heart-wrenching way possible. Look at what he asks Deku:

None of these lines should be ignored. This is Bakugo admitting that he is terrified that every bit of praise he's ever received is meaningless in the face of reality, which has proven that he is not worthy. All Might didn't think so, otherwise why wouldn't he have picked Bakugo to be his successor? Every ounce of skill, all the effort Bakugo has poured into his dream, it all means nothing. Why? Because Deku is inherently heroic, and Bakugo is not. Bakugo knows it, Midoriya knows it (why else would he be laughing in Bakugo's face if he wasn't intimately aware of his failures?), All Might knows it—hell, the whole world knows it. And because Bakugo is his own worst critic, he's gutted that someone like him, someone unworthy, destroyed the Symbol of Peace. His hero.

Does this not look like trauma? Does this not look like a kid poorly dealing with PTSD who's lashing out and trying to punish himself? And trying to purge his emotions the only way he knows how, through fighting? Who is desperately seeking some kind of compassion and connection in Deku, because he is losing his mind and can't keep going? He's a kid who's been given basically zero support, who's been expected to deal with not only being kidnapped and psychologically tortured, but also being the direct cause of Japan's sudden criminal uprising. That is so much pressure to put on a child. Any single bit of Bakugo's experience would be traumatizing by itself, but put together? It's like a personalized hell for him.

And then we have the Moment. The my body just moved on its own moment. Bakugo is so afraid for Deku leading up to this:

And afterward? It really affects him.

He's scared for Deku. He's beating himself up for not supporting him better, for not getting over himself and taking Deku's hand. He thought his closest person was going to die in front of his eyes, and then that person ran away. Of course that traumatized Bakugo.

Now, the reason Bakugo's trauma often gets overlooked (both in canon and in the fandom space) is, in my opinion, because he doesn't express his trauma in a way that's easy to romanticize. It often comes out as anger and violence, loud and obnoxious and toxic. His trauma responses hurt other people, specifically Deku. And in a character that isn't going for poor little meow meow bloodthirsty vengeance-based criminal or abused child with terrible social skills but a heart of gold, it's hard for people to wrap their heads around the fact that Bakugo isn't really a bad kid so much as he's a kid who has had a lot of crap dumped on him and hasn't been given any tools to heal. He doesn't know how to express his feelings easily or clearly when he isn't in the middle of a fight, and he has very few coping skills to help him deal with his crippling self-loathing and inferiority complex. So when he reaches his mental limit, he—pun intended—explodes.

That isn't to say that Bakugo isn't responsible for his trauma responses, the same way every other character is. He absolutely deserves to be taken to task over them, and the narrative has done a good job of giving him one consequence after the other. But at the same time, he really is just a child who is doing his best in a fucked up situation. And while his actions definitely have hurt other people, the amount of mental torment Bakugo finds himself in on a regular basis deserves more sympathy than I think he sometimes gets.

I understand why characters like Shoto get more of the poor baby treatment, because he's the perfect victim: faultless, and his anger is almost 100% directed at the perpetrator, his father. Comparatively, Bakugo's trauma is messy and overflowing and directed at all the wrong people. But that's neither unrealistic nor even all that surprising, given what we know about him. And part of that is because his trauma isn't nearly as straight-forward, since it's so wrapped up in his own self-esteem issues that he blames himself, and then tries to refocus his hurt and anger on Deku to mitigate his own pain.

It's a big part of why I like Bakugo so much; he represents the unappealing side of trauma responses that are so common, but so often get overlooked because they're unappealing. He's a victim who doesn't act the way we want a victim to act, but rather the way they usually do, and for that I applaud Horikoshi on his realism.

[aeryzdoesstuff]

Bakugou and Midoriya wearing matching rings on the same fingers on their right hand. They're married your honour.

[sleepingpopplio]

The depth of Bakugo’s apology

I saw the clip from the anime’s rendition of Bakugo’s apology and was filled with the same emotions as when I first read it in the manga. It was powerful, it was beautiful, it was gentle, and it meant something to people. But while it was great to see Bakugo apologetic for his past actions to Izuku during his time of need, the fandom often neglects the layers to that apology.

I think one thing about Bakugo’s apology that makes it so powerful is that when he says “I’m sorry [Izuku] for everything”, he’s referencing more than simply his bullying. Sure, he’s haunted by his constant guilt for what he did and the long term affects of it, but he’s also sorry that things ended up the way they did.

He’s sorry that Izuku has so much self loathing towards himself and his quirkless past. He’s sorry that Izuku was given One For All without being given the full truth about the quirk and its legacy. He’s sorry that Izuku was given so much responsibly and sorry that Izuku was put under so much pressure as he wielder of One For All— that he had to be the next symbol of piece alone. He’s sorry that Izuku was made to feel as though everything & everyone relied on him. He’s sorry that Izuku feels as though his only value comes from saving people, and that if he can’t save everyone then he’s a failure. He’s sorry that Izuku feels the need to break himself beyond repair in order to be respected as the deku who always does his best.

Bakugo is sorry that Izuku has been through so much emotional torment over the past year, going through a downward spiral since the minute he was given OFA, and he [Bakugo] couldn’t stop him from leaving the hospital and their friends behind in time. He’s sorry that things had to get to this point.

So much can be taken from just a few words. Bakugo knows deku very well, and he knows that Deku’s suffering extends far beyond his being bullied. I think that is another reason Deku has such a strong visible reaction to Bakugo’s words. He feels seen, and he feel like everyone in his class, not just limited to but especially Bakugo, are finally understanding him on a level that he refused to understand himself on. The light comes back to his eyes because Izuku Midoriya has suffered, and everyone knows, and they still love him. Luckily, things will be ok because he is not alone. Bakugo’s there for him. 1-A’s there for him. They’ll heal together.

In conclusion, I believe that during fandom discussions about Bakugo’s apology that we should really take the time to realize just how charged his words are and how he is using his apology to build a level of understanding— not just simply to right a past wrong. He wants to right ALL the wrongs of Izuku’s life, and that can simply be done through empathy and understanding. You can’t undo the past, but you can help one-another heal, because in the words of Bakugo Katsuki, “I/we know.”— I/we get it, and we’re sorry you’ve gone through all that.

Before I go, I also just want to mention how Bakugo’s use of language in Japanese is noticeably softer than how he usually talks. He cares so much, and he wants to make that fact known. In addition, he uses Izuku’s first name, which as many of you already know is a huge deal in Japanese culture. It signifies intense closeness. Bakugo is once and for all reclaiming his status as Izuku’s childhood friend. This has already been happening for a while, but in this moment he finally wants to make that known to the people around him without shame or guilt. As he stands surrounded by water, he apologizes for not taking Izuku’s hand in the river. He also reclaims this moment by metaphorically taking Izuku’s hand in the form of the apology. It doesn’t matter anymore whether he physically takes his childhood friend’s hand, what matters is his intent and his want to connect. What matters is Bakugo Katsuki’s ability to never let Izuku go again.

This isn’t really necessarily meant to be shippy I just love character connections and quotes with multiple meanings. Also when I mention Deku’s pressure from OFA please don’t think that I’m bashing All Might. I love him I just think that some mistakes were made and Izuku just generally feels pressure from his role as the yielded of the quirk.

[bakubunny]

Sharing with the class.

I personally don't really enjoy it when izu is written like a daddy!Dom/ Dom in general.

I feel like he'd just be a little, teeny, tiny baby boy. Like, he'd obviously get more and more confident and bold over the years, especially if you're into the more dominant type. But I think that he's a sub/partial switch (if you prefer)

Thank you for your time. I just wanted to share <3

kindly

respectfully

why are you here if you don’t like when he’s characterized like that? i’m genuinely not trying to sound like a bitch but i’m sure it’ll come off that way bc it’s difficult to interpret the way things are said through text, so i’m sorry for that.

i don’t mind when people hc him that way. i enjoy it from time to time bc i do agree that he’s got some softer aspects and would perhaps enjoy someone else being in control every now and then.

however

izuku has already gotten more confident and bold. just because he cries and has a wide spectrum of emotions doesn’t mean he’s not strong as fuck or wouldn’t want to be in control. he’s not all soft.

let’s take a look at bkdk. not as a couple, not even as friends. but their personalities.

katsuki is loud and brash as hell. he can be reckless and seem like he’s busting in without a plan, but that’s almost never the case. he’s just five steps ahead of his peers and doesn’t see value in wasting time communicating what’s in his head. his stoic personality is never characterized as a good thing (that i’ve seen) or something that makes him stronger. in fact, it’s more of a weakness than anything else and only further communicates his superiority/inferiority complex. he’s hard and brash on the outside because he’s still figuring out his emotions. and understandably, there are a lot of them.

katsuki is softer and kinder than most people give him credit for, especially as the series goes on and he gets older. give him another five years or so and i think he’s gonna mellow out a ton. additionally, despite his explosive, loud personality, when push comes to shove on important things, he listens when he’s told to back down. he doesn’t jump into the fray when he’s given direct orders not to.

furthermore, in aged up fics, it’s rare to see katsuki as a switch or a sub, but it’s something i can see as viable. but that’s a discussion for another day.

izuku on the other hand? yeah he’s soft and bright eyed. he laughs and cries a lot. and that fades some as he grows throughout the series because y’know, in canon he’s a kid, and kids often have strong emotions. especially when they’re young.

let’s ignore for a moment that bnha is a series focused on teen heroes, children, being forced to go into the tragedy of hero life and war far too early. having a wide variety of strong emotions is part of healthy brain development. it’s natural. compound that with the pressure izuku is put under as a child to be the next number one hero and keep the nature of his quirk a secret to protect others for a long time, then being shoved into war, and it’s no fucking wonder the kid’s an emotional mess. most kids would be because that’s a lot for any adult to handle.

i think izuku is still going to be cheerful and bright eyed as he ages, but he’s gonna be far from meek and mild. it’s just not who he is. like have you seen that boy when he’s set on something? when he gets angry? you can’t stop him come hell or high water, and he’s only 16. no matter what emotional turmoil he’s under, if izuku is set on doing something when others refuse to, you bet your ass that kid’s gonna be there even if all might himself told him not to do it. he doesn’t care if it’s too dangerous, he knows what he wants and he does it.

izuku is far more reckless and headstrong than katsuki when it comes to what matters. but he’s only reckless when he knows he might just have the power to change something for the better - a power that others don’t.

all that to say, i think as izuku gets older, that side of him is only going to show more and more. he likes being strong and having the power to change things. and i think that translates to every aspect of his life.

[obsidianstrawberrymilk]

Tbh a huge amount of the issues MHA has could have been fixed had Bakugo just been expelled from UA in the first season or not gotten in at all

[angstydisaster02]

Another analysis of Bakudeku’s relationship! (Shout out to Syd for helping me) - Manga spoilers

——-

If Horikoshi planned to make them holding hands in a life or death situation, aka an important situation…imagine for the manga and how important it’ll be

It’s different from the movie for sure but still…If his first idea was them to help each other in the most unexpected situation and where they NEEDED it to survive, it’ll be more impacting in the manga

When he never saw him in this state before, for him it was the first time he truly saw his childhood friend died in front of him. The same childhood friend with how he wouldn’t imagine a world. And seeing him *dead* in front of his eyes might awaken something in his chest because the idea of losing him was hard, but they caught him right in time the last time at Kamino…this time, no one was here to save him, and Izuku might blame himself because now he’s considered dead.

It’s like imagining one of your closest friends (even your best friend you’ve known since childhood or years, it doe matter, as long as you know you both had a strong bond) dead, and damn...I think no word would be enough to describe the pain Izuku might have felt at that moment, so instead, his emotions spoke for himself and me, the fear deku we have now is the traumatized and the real Izuku, the one unable to control his feeling- see what I mean with the Izuku stuff?

How the Izuku was seen until now was the « fake » one, and the feral one who entered into craziness after seeing Katsuki dead is the « real » one, almost as if his feelings were personalized in one person, and it’ll be the current Izuku.

I love the symbolism of “holding hands.” Until now, all the people who held someone else’s hand were important to them, so it’s not just an “I’m saving you” thing, it’s more like an “I’m saving you because I TRUST YOU” thing.

The notion of trust is really important, and it depends on the relationship. For example, in season 6, when Tenya held Izuku’s hands, it was because he trusted him.

During the Kamino accident, Izuku WANTED to be the one to save Katsuki (in a part of his mind) because HE TRUSTED HIM. At this period, he was afraid because he didn’t know if it was mutual, so he let Kirishima do it.

Today we have heroes rising where, in a life or death situation, Katsuki AGREED to hold Izuku’s hands and accept his help because he TRUSTED him. He always did, and it was complicated during the deku vs. kacchan two fight when he refused and rejected izuku’s help. Because Katsuki was TRUSTING izuku, and he always did, but he was afraid and lost in himself.

The beauty of their relationship (bkdk) is how Izuku knows that Katsuki is not okay, and he gives him time. Instead of forcing him, he would rather let his childhood friend discover things by himself and be here by his side when this happens. When Izuku always knew about how HE trusted Katsuki, like an obvious thing for him….it took more time for Katsuki to admit it.

Admiring it means being vulnerable, and until now, the only moments when he was vulnerable were around Izuku, and, even if they didn’t solve their problems at first, it helped Katsuki to build this trust and the idea of “Izuku is here when I’m vulnerable, so this means he’s trusting me” (or something like that) so yeah, the most interesting part of their relationship is how they grew up.

When Katuski fully realizes it’s okay, and they trust each other, he’ll be more open, and their bond will be stronger. It’s the prettiest thing about their dynamic.

——-

(Credit to Syd for this part !)

If it was izuku who had his hand out for Katsuki instead of kirishima, but I’m glad it was him because izuku wanted to be the one to save him, but honestly, I don’t think he would’ve taken his hand. (Since he rejected 3 times when izuku offered, but you know katsuki too stubborn) and so we get to where I love the hand-holding bc katsuki is now accepting izuku and wants to make things right between them.

Katsuki character i think is very unique. Izuku is just a beautiful character overall.

The relationship between them is something that I never really seen before (i mean I’ve seen stuff with enemies to friends or enemies to lovers) but this is a little different and that’s what I love about it.

——

Let’s be real, we always wished it was Izuku because it’s our comfort ship, but seeing this story as external spectators….this won’t work.

Katsuki would’ve to reject Izuku because he didn’t “trust” him (aka accepting how his feelings were valid too and it shouldn’t be scary to accept Izuku’s help), and they’ll put his life in danger even more. It was a question of second, let’s be real (again) Izuku might be hurt by the fact that Katsuki wouldn’t accept his help and see someone else doing it or “taking his place” FOR THE FIRST TIME.

It was new, and I’m sure he suffered, but then deku vs. kacchan 2 happened, and they solved things. It was a difficult phase in their relationship, but it made it more realistic. That’s why I love them and how detailed it is. In the current manga they had to live in the same situation about saving each other they will. Katsuki would accept Izuku’s hands because they worked on it for months (in the manga Timelapse).

It’s different and well done, this makes them more attached and humans. They made mistakes, apologized, and agreed to give each other a “second chance” to start better, which is beautiful. They both complete each other most unexpectedly, and it’s the craziest thing about their relationship, how it feels natural.

I’m truly glad about how their relationship turned and their development <3

Thanks for reading and take care of yourself ! (Sorry for the mistakes)