#screwing everything up

[obsidianstrawberrymilk]

Tbh a huge amount of the issues MHA has could have been fixed had Bakugo just been expelled from UA in the first season or not gotten in at all

[fischiee]

as much as i love that scene where carolina has hooked felix and he’s holding wash and he’s like “if you drop me you drop him” and wash is like “DO! NOT! DROP! HIM!” it does make me emo bc like

yes it’s so silly goofy and it really makes it clear that wash like being gullible and silly like he was in pfl is just his normal personality when he’s not busy being traumatized

but also the fact that he /does/ feel the need to beg carolina to not drop him, that he’s not 100% that she’ll chose to save him if it means also keeping felix alive bc he KNOWS she gets so caught up in finishing the mission and succeeding and in pfl she wouldn’t have even given him the time to say that before dropping the both of them and so he prob has a real genuine fear for at least a moment that he made a mistake trusting her again and that she’s about to drop him so that she can handle locus on her own

[sidsinning]

The quality of the characters and storytelling from the Guardians of the Galaxy movies compared to the rest of the MCU is actually wild

[tapakah0]

@icequeenabby, thank you for this one!!! ;-; Love this cinnamon rolls ;-;

[silver-horse]

guys I felt genuine fear in my stomach while reading this tweet...

[providencehq]

I really adore the idea of Danny seeming really confident and overall having a grasp on getting along in his fake identity for a new start in Gotham. Only for it to be quickly realized he's putting on a really good act and some simple investigation unravels it all (or, most of it.) Like facts are not matching up enough for his fake identity and when members of the bat family look into why this is for him they're quickly realizing that it's maybe a shotty identity because it was hastily put together but a teenager.

Faking his age enough to be a legal adult (18) so he can control over himself? Check. Faking only part of his name because he's still attached to his old life and won't admit it? Check. Leaving no paper trails and only paying in cash? Check. Refusal to participate in things that may lead to his identity or lack of one be discovered? Check. Kid also being 15/16 at most and being shit at hiding it physically, he cannot pass off as anything else than a young teenager but all documents say otherwise? Check.

Tim and Barbra quickly notice how he covered solely for himself. At least Tim was able to fake an uncle (temporarily), Danny isn't able to fake any information aside from the basics in regards to any family. It's quick to tell he's good at faking information but he's nowhere near the skill of Tim and Barbra. Once they find a single sliver of actual information on Danny and figure out who he really is, it opens a lot of questions while closing others. It also makes getting an eye and overall some semblance of control over the mysterious Danny situation they have on hand.

Like, Tim and Bruce at the very least are going to trick Danny to come into Wayne Enterprises to discuss his scholarship and hit him with "hey, we can't exactly give a scholarship to a person who doesn't exist, we know you are hiding from something by looks of our research. People don't fake new lives for the hell of it. We will however help you with whatever is going on, give you the scholarship, if you tell us what is going on." Danny of course is like, ah, no, I'm going to bail. But of course is cut off by Bruce suggesting that if he leaves without accepting their help, they'll be forced to report him and he'll be a ward of the state at best. That some investigation will happen because them finding out that Danny Fenton is considered dead before he was abled to be transferred to the care of a Vlad Masters, that is parents and friends are dead, and is overall an orphan is a big deal. ESPECIALLY when Danny Fenton is pretending to be Danny Duxo, a legal adult, and out on his own in Crime Alley and barely scraping by to be able to get to college.

They force his hand of course and accepts their help (and basically becomes a ward of Bruce Wayne). Danny convinces them that he will have Bruce acting as a guardian for him but he gets to remain at his apartment, he doesn't want to lose his tech he's working on but he's also afraid of anyone learning about his ghostliness. Does this work out? No, not for long. After a few weeks of being on his own and going out at night as a vigilante, injuries catch up with him. Jason comes by a few times a week to drop food off and comes into Danny one day bandaging some pretty nasty wounds. He brushes it off as some malfunction with some tech he's messing with but that incident causes him to be relocated to the Wayne manor so if an injury does happen, he's not alone.

And to think, none of this would be happening if he was better at faking an identity. He should have honestly asked for Technus' help for that and maybe he wouldn't be in this mess. This is all just surrounding his human identity too! Oh my god, the bats are going to freak when they find out Danny is way more than human and also a vigilante!

[codgod-moved]

VOTE JIMMY

[six-white-venus]

the worst trait of me and my family is probably this: we never learned to say the word sorry.

i) my best friend and i, we are no people. knives? maybe. liars? definitely. but people? i’m not so sure.

knives were never forged to be tender (what a shame, what a shame) and we too, fall and slay what we meant to protect. him and i, we go for the throat when we clash. we hurt and bleed and oh, i should be terrified, i should be running for my life, but all i am is tired and a bit lonely and would really like his arms around me.

( “can we please stop fighting now.”

“oh god yes please.”)

because time and time again, this man has held my heart in his hands and cleaned its festering wounds with cotton dipped in alcohol (always the healer, always the lover) and wrapped gauze around them with clinical precision. and i have walked through the maze of his head and tended to his withering garden, have dragged the sun and fresh air and all the oceans to the barren land to make it bloom (always the poet, always the lover).

him and i, we have never needed words because we are knives forged in the same fire and at the end of the day, we both know that he will be the one who wordlessly stitches my broken heart and i will be the one who sings him to sleep.

ii) let me paint you a picture:

blue that fades into red that fades into black that fades into blue that fades into red. loud, clashing and nonsensical. a pit in your stomach that was dug with desperation and blunt fingernails. how do you colour anger that is also pain, grief, hate, love, fear and truth? the smell of the paint is foul and clogs your windpipes. blunt fingernails and blue and black and madness. can you bear to look at what you created without flinching?

that’s what anger looks like on my father. a horror. a mottled bruise. a hellfire.

all his life, my father has been scorned, belittled, beaten, spat on. his mother didn’t love him right because her mother didn’t love her right. my dad loves like he hates. something is fucked in his head and heart and his words fade into black and blue and red and this shitshow always ends with me sobbing, bleeding, dying on the floor. my father watches with his hackles raised and his eyes red and wide and glowing. once wounded, an animal never sheathes its claws. it strikes the ones it loves and walks away with its head held high and hands trembling.

but here’s what happens when the curtains close: he pulls me into his arms and brings me tea. he wipes away my tears with hands that has moved mountains to make me smile. he kisses my forehead and tells me that his mom didn’t love him right. my grief is like anger and indignation and love. i wrap my arms around him and cry all the tears he never had the luxury to. who should say sorry, really? is it him or his mom or his mom’s mom or this stupid fucking world? my father has never said the word sorry. he never needed to. this is what love looks like on us. a horror. a mottled bruise. a hellfire.

iii) despite it all, i am not usually an angry person. i take after my father and my mother, after all. i rage like my mother (quick, loud, fire that burns out almost as quickly as it sparked to life) and fight like my father (aim, shoot, bullseye). my sister does something even mildly upsetting and before i know it, i’m cursing her to be miserable till she dies. not even an hour later i’m draping myself over her shoulder and bugging her till she rolls her eyes and smiles ever so slightly.

(“do you have no shame?”

“yeah no i don’t think so.”)

my family and i, we never learned to say the word sorry. because the word sorry never meant sorry, not to us. because at the end of the day, that’s all it is: a word. and it sticks to the back of my tongue and the dents of my molars and gets tangled in my mouth when i try to spit it out. so i grab it by its throat and thread it into my being. i find it so much easier to hide my pathetic inability to do one thing that doesn’t scream that there's something wrong with me with the truth of another three words:

“i love you”

and they are always echoed back to me, just a few million times more tender, in ways only we can understand.

“yeah, i know.”

“that’s great, but there’s no escaping dishes duty.”

“oh, shut up, you.”

“what’s that for?”

a pause and a hum.

“i love you too.”

[valhalla-awaitsfor-us]

I'm just going to say that I agree 120% with what was said about empathy and respect for the new cultures that are gonna be add to the server. But I think it's also good to clarify that this goes both ways. We are all going to be exposed to new things and we have to let our guard down a little to try to understand each other. It always comes down to empathy and respect. Members and communities that are currently involved with the server can screw up without even realizing it, just as new members can screw up. We are humans. The thing is to take a deep breath and, as long as there is no bad intention behind it, talk about things like adults. With patience and empathy.

[smilesrobotlover]

*head in hands* oot link is such a tragic character and it makes me so sad

[andy-clutterbuck]

#mood

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

I swear If anything happens to barnaby...I'm going to riot both happy and sad..

yeah <3

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

I just saw the excellent post about Chuuya's loyalty and 1) how he hasn't questioned his philosophy and 2) "In a world where a "path" typically involves challenging the characters' philosophies and forcing them to reevaluate, what the hell is going to have to happen to get Chuuya to do the same?" (quoting you)

Chuuya is always used by others. He's not the only BSD character whose been taken advantage of, but it does seem to be reoccurring with him? First by the government who intended to use him as a super weapon, then by the Sheep who used him for his ability, then by mafia/Mori (getting him to join in exchange for sparing the sheep, keeping his past from him and giving him incentive to become an executive and stay in the organization). He's constantly used for his power.

Please tell me if I'm misinterpreting what you all said, but it seems (to me) that Chuuya ignores the mafia's/Mori's manipulation because they have helped him and given him a home+family, so he's instead loyal to them.

Because even though Mori has not and is using him for his power, he still allows it/goes along with it because they've helped him in the past and earned his loyalty.

So Chuuya tolerates being used.

He's now being used again, obviously, in part, because of his power. We have Fyodor referring to him as just his ability and bragging about how he can "use" him better than Dazai ("doesn't that mean you're unfit to USE a gravity manipulator")

Do you think it's possible that just being vamped and used again will cause him to reflect on his mentality? He's once again being used (but be it in far more blatant way: literal mind control. Also reminds me of Verlaine+his creator). Reflecting on how he's been used in the past and no longer accepting being used by others anymore?

Or do you think it might have the opposite affect and push him deeper into the mafia somehow

Also it's interesting that Fyodor is using him but hasn't earned his loyalty (like the sheep+mafia) and how that'll affect Chuuya

I'll get to the second ask in a bit but I'm combining these because they're related.

About the first ask: I mean, yeah, you're right about this. I don't know that I'd consider it so much "ignoring" though as "the benefits outweigh the costs so whatever", and I do want to state that I'm pretty sure Mori is genuinely at least a little fond of Chuuya (see: their conversation about leadership at the end of Fifteen), and his Mafia colleagues do respect him.

But yeah, you are absolutely right to say that there is a pattern of people who want Chuuya for his ability and his loyalty, and/or reduced him down to these traits. Playing hot potato with the escaped military lab experiment and the Mafia won (<-simplification for the funnies but still).

But here's the thing: if this was the end of it, we might expect to see some resentment mixed in there from Chuuya. He was blackmailed with the Sheep's lives. His past was intentionally locked away from him until he worked his way up to executive. That's... not great.

But instead we find pretty much only gratitude from him. Why?

Well, see, there's a reason I put the return of Chuuya's screwed up self-concept in the tags on that post, because it's kind of at the heart of his impressive loyalty. Chuuya believes that since he is the one with the strongest power, that makes him responsible for protecting everyone else, which means that he rationalizes any concern or protection directed at him as something "above and beyond", and worthy of recognition and repayment. Remember that he genuinely felt like just a vessel for power and nothing else for apparently quite a bit of his childhood, and the Sheep emphasizing that he owed them for taking him in probably did not help.

When it comes to having his back, the Mafia did this for him in a way no one else did. They protect their own, a value that aligns closely with Chuuya's own personal philosophy. The Mafia is also relatively safe from external threat, if we recall Dazai's pitch to Odasaku in Day I Picked Up Dazai - Odasaku is being targeted, but no one in their right mind would challenge the Mafia just to get to him. So, the Mafia has provided Chuuya with protection, comradery, and relative safety, which in my mind all condenses into a central need that takes precedence over everything else to him.

Chuuya's core need is actually stability.

And this makes quite a bit of sense. He started off as a kid with no memories and a whole lot of trauma he couldn't remember the roots of. One's past is a source of stability, but that had been taken from him. His position as leader of the Sheep was shaky. Even his identity as a human being was called into question. Chuuya as a kid and teen was largely untethered, separate from everyone else with no way to ground himself. Under those circumstances, something that originated as a chain could easily become a safety rope.

And once Chuuya found this stability, there was really no need for him to change anything. So he didn't. He settled into his new role and became really, really good at it, and didn't bother to re-evaluate beyond that. Why would he? That minimal core need has been met, despite the rocky beginning.

Which brings me to this second ask because it's actually incredibly relevant. Yes, Chuuya and Sigma are alike. You are not losing it anon.

Let's run a list, shall we? They both awoke with no memories and a missing history, and had their humanity called into question. They were used and blackmailed repeatedly, which they were, fortunately and unfortunately, consciously aware of. When they find something that matters to them, they become violently defensive of it. They both operate on principles of reciprocity and transaction because that is what they believe to be normal in relationships (Sigma's ability even is quite literally a transaction!). They both have pretty low standards for their assistance (Sigma hearing one (1) single person (Atsushi) be kind to him in what he thought were his last moments, Chuuya "You have helped Chuuya! Chuuya will now kill and die for you!" Nakahara).

Above all else, they are looking for stability. They are looking for a home.

As of yet, Sigma hasn't found a true home, but it seems we may be building up to him joining the ADA. The key part is Sigma's realization that the Agency doesn't rely solely on transaction. Dazai is not using the Agency, the Agency is not using Dazai. The Agency members are all helping each other. They care about each other.

Meanwhile, Chuuya has already found a place that provides his core need, but there's one caveat about the Mafia that should be clarified here - as Odasaku says in Dark Era, people within its ranks don't talk about personal matters and feelings with each other, and everyone instead keeps to themselves. If you don't talk about your issues or air them out, relations tend to stay personally shallow and dictated almost entirely by the demands and positions of the organization. This is not a conducive environment for reappraisal or self-exploration.

Unfortunately, this is ideal for Mr. Chuuya "I'll keep all my emotions right here and then one day I'll die" Nakahara.

Chuuya has found some measure of stability - solace in his own self-defined identity in spite of the initial ambiguity as to his humanity. "This is who I am", "Till those flames die down, I can't just do whatever I want", "I'm gonna do what I need to do", etc. But importantly, this identity is entangled in whichever group he happens to be a part of, which in this case is the Mafia. This kind of self-identity cannot exist without the structure of an organization. It relies on the reciprocity of a group.

Moreover, it relies on Chuuya showing very little vulnerability. Compartmentalize, and move on. He expects that of himself.

So, we've established that Chuuya has his core need for stability met by the Mafia - a relatively secure place that runs on transaction, which is familiar to him - yet it also doesn't push him out of his comfort zone with respect to emotional vulnerability and openness. What this means is that, in the Mafia, Chuuya is practically invincible, both physically (his ability, his martial arts prowess) and emotionally (personal life kept hidden and guarded as a Mafia expectation).

Unfortunately, this means Chuuya also remains stagnant as a character, which finally, finally brings me back to your original question anon.

No, I don't think the vampirism is enough to trigger change in Chuuya's character. Chuuya has some standards, and treating him like a tool (and Dazai's tool, no less) is going to seriously piss him off, but that's anger at Fyodor, and it doesn't impact his stability with the Mafia any which way. If Chuuya had've been forced to activate Corruption to escape the drowning then maybe he would've been angry with Dazai enough for something to shift (activation being his own choice is a huge theme with them), but since he didn't, I expect Chuuya will unfortunately just shrug it off and roll with it. Probably yell at him for a bit, but nothing that would have far-reaching consequences for his character unless there is something about his current situation we don't yet know.

I think for Chuuya to grow and change as a character, he needs something major to shift in his life - the threat has to come from within his place of security. He needs to be destabilized. Something needs to happen that specifically targets his tethers and his self-concept.

Personally, my money's on the destabilization of his bond with Mori, who he has the most respect for, because that might trigger development related to leadership and goals, but I guess we'll see. I think it'll probably be incredibly heart wrenching and hurt us all severely, whatever it is.

Huh. I wrote a lot. Congrats for making it to the end! I'm going to sleep now. :D

—

Edited by removing the entire middle section because it was absolute garbage and probably should’ve been its own post. I hope the rest of this holds up. That’s what I get for writing things at 2 in the morning I guess.

[egophiliac]

CHAPTER 7 DIASOMNIA IS COMING LATE DECEMBER AND EARLY JANUARY ON THE JP SERVER SAW THE NEWS AND THOUGHT OF YOU GOOD LUCK MAY YOU BE BLESSED WITH ALL THE DIA CONTENT

the schedule says mid-December OH GOD THAT'S EVEN CLOSER

it's coming

[bubblebaath]

fur painting practice

[handonhaven]

#when you’re asked to convince someone to watch legacies