#balance and walking issues

[corvidkidlet]

Im So frustrated (a rant about trying to get help)

I have been avoiding advocating for myself around my hip and knee pain as well as my stiffness and difficulty walking for like 5 years because I was basically told that i just needed to lose weight and exercise more (which i do need to exercise more but its hard when it really hurts to do so and also depression doesn't help) and that there wasn't anything "wrong enough" with me to actually do anything. and so ive been ignoring that it has gotten worse over time, until this year when i realized that my campus has many flights of stairs on it and i just couldnt avoid acknowledging this anymore.

So i finally mentioned it to my PCP again and he was like "why didnt you mention this earlier" (i actually under estimated the amount of time ive been dealing with this to not make him feel bad) and i wanted to say that i had and nothing positive came from it. but he sent me for x-rays and bloodwork and all that jazz and i was hoping that maybe just maybe they could figure out why my body is like this and i could get a solution. but the results came back and im apparently completely normal, so i guess im going to try physical therapy again. I really think id benefit from a mobility aid (either cane or rollator) but i dont know how to bring it up and they are probably going to just tell me that im not "bad" enough again. at this point i dont even care if my insurance covers it, i just want to know what they think i should use so that i maybe can actually get some sort of change.

and maybe im exaggerating my pain and difficulties but idk im just tired of being told that im "fine" by medical professionals with the undertone that i should just wait until i get worse before i bother them again

if anyone has advice id really appriciate it but also thank you if you just took the time to read this. I hope you have a fortuitous day internet stranger /genuine <3

[britcision]

Gang I blistered 3 fingers unlacing and relacing these so first my very tiny partner and then my very juicy calves could fit in them and It Is So Worth It I Have Never Been Happier

Over the knee, white holo faux leather, WITH my most favourite sole, the Shaker???? Demonia came for my goddamn THROAT

Only criticisms? Please for the love of all that is good provide a wide calves version, I am riding the goddamn line and it shows, and also holy shit the laces are Rough

And they have to be, they’re under pressure here, but goddamn I am serious I am blistered and I’m going to do it all again

FUCK I’M A DUMBASS SHOULDA WORN MY COMPRESSION GLOVES

Everything still fucking SUCKS on this side atm, but my gran sent me money for a flight out even knowing ahead of time I wouldn’t be able to make it and told me to spend it on something that would make me happy and think of her

And it’s real hard to be depressed in thigh high white holo boots

(I. She. She’s my good Christian Granny. I don’t think I can show her. But they made me smile the easiest I have in 3 weeks and they weren’t even close to the cost of the flight so I can do many more things she will approve of that I can show her before it’s too late)

(The fucking SECOND Demonia puts out a white holo ankle boot in Shaker or Camel lemme tell you I will simply perish I cannot afford shit rn but ONE DAY.

My standard for adult success has been “can I afford Demonias” (whether or not I then do) since I was 14 years old and yeah I’m failing now but I’m failing while already owning Demonias so it’s still a win)

[brown-little-robin]

story time!

What Happened to Dimple

In late summer, Ritsu got very ill. He couldn't keep any food down and he was too weak to walk. Their limited food supplies were running out in the middle of nowhere, and Dimple was the only functional person in the group. Ritsu was out of it, and obviously Mob, a zombie with no goals except "eat whatever is in front of me" and "hang around with little brother", was little help on the finding-new-food front.

So Dimple had to find some way to keep Ritsu alive.

Before starvation set in, Dimple decided to intervene. It played out okay at first. He tied Ritsu to a tree (tied ropes around his torso, knotted them behind the tree trunk so Ritsu couldn't reach) and took Shigeo with him to go acquire some food from whoever passed by on the road they're traveling on first.

(he took Shigeo because he couldn't leave him with no able-bodied guardian—better to be safe than sorry, especially because. y'know. they're on the edge of starvation, and Shigeo is a zombie. but obviously Ritsu, dehydrated and dizzy, interpreted this as "Dimple Might Be Finally Stealing My Brother" despite Dimple trying to explain.)

(Ritsu didn't really protest, though. he was too weak to do much and also he didn't want to get eaten. he just let it happen. he hoped Dimple would come back. he hoped he was just being paranoid.)

the first food source they ran into, unfortunately, was a group of humans traveling with a cart. Dimple didn't really have qualms about stealing, but he tried asking peacefully first, using his "power over the zombie" (e.g. he convinced Shigeo to take a few steps back and Shigeo obliges him) to demonstrate that they could be a major threat. (he was bluffing, of course. Shigeo wasn't being "held back" by Dimple, he's just vibing.) and he was given food! food and water and even toilet paper and a blanket!

so then Dimple returned to their camp with Mob and the supplies, but the people they stole from were a trap—a convoy that deliberately draws people in so they can gauge parties' strength before stealing from them in return. Dimple and the Kageyama brothers got attacked by one (1) guy with a gun, because that's about all the firepower the convoy thought they needed to risk on this little group.

Dimple could've just given up the supplies and tried again. But the thing was, Ritsu didn't really have enough strength in him for that.

If Ritsu didn't get food and water and rest here, he really might have died. Also, they'd have to give up their ammo, which was what they were planning to trade for food in the next settlement they come to.

Dimple looked around. He looked at Shigeo, a half-baked plan to get Shigeo to Do Something forming, and saw him kneeling by Ritsu, eyes half-lidded, looking unresponsive. but Dimple knew Shigeo's body language by then, and he saw how his shoulders were subtly hunched over toward Ritsu, and instantly Dimple knew that the kid's patience had run out. going away from Ritsu with Dimple had been a big concession and now Shigeo was done.

So. Dimple took the supplies and lured the guy with the gun a little way away from the boys, and then he just straight-up attacked the guy. not with a gun, because he was forced to leave the guns in the camp with Ritsu.

Dimple dropped the supplies and made a move. He got shot, and it was Loud. but it just grazed his shoulder, so he managed to drag the guy away from the supplies. Dimple's goal was to prevent the boys from seeing any more death, and he succeeded.

Ritsu, meanwhile, heard that gunshot.

He'd been sleeping most of the time Dimple was away. He was a little more alert by the time Dimple got back, although still physically wiped. He heard that gunshot and froze. And then, doing rapid calculations and realizing that he was danger if Dimple was dead, he started fighting the ropes. He had to get away he had to get Shigeo away he had to RUN.

He fought the ropes silently at first, and then, slowly, his brain progressed from the logical "if Dimple is dead we're in trouble because that man knows our location" to "Dimple is dead, Dimple is dead". he started making a horrible cry as he tried to get free. He wasn't crying, exactly, didn't let himself relax that much, he was just making this kind of frustrated, despairing wail sound.

Shigeo had been watching Ritsu thrash and wriggle in increasing certainty that something was happening, but he didn't know if it was good or bad. The sound, though, the sound was bad. So he tried to help.

He helped by just pulling on the ropes, first, which broke Ritsu's ribs.

but he stopped when Ritsu made a pain sound and, for one of the first times Ritsu has seen him do this as a zombie, did something related to tool use. he went to the supplies and brought Ritsu a knife.

so the Kageyama brothers survived! yay!

[ahricore]

i'm so fucking stressed out

[bitchthefuck1]

hi sorry for spamming likes in ur kanej tag i just needed to go insane. are kanej more cat people or dog people. i lean towards kaz being an ainimal whisperer with All The Animals & inej prefers cats bc that's her KIN right there but im curious about ur ops

First of all, no need to apologize, welcome to the brain rot.

As for kanej, I want to say cat people. Kaz is definitely an animal whisperer to me, and I've made posts about it in the past, but I get cat person from both of them. This is both from a utilitarian thing (cats are great for pest control on farms and ships, and probably even in the Slat, so they're both used to them being around), but also a temperament thing. There's the obvious "cats learned at her [inej's] feet" line from soc, and her general climbing around places that seem impossible, but also Kaz's whole "nine lives always lands on his feet very picky about who he hangs out w and when" thing just makes me feel like they'd vibe really well with cats.

[fecto-forgo]

actually i cant wait to go back to getting my autism diagnosis bc my mom rly wants me to get a light diagnosis n ive decided im determined to prove my right to be recognized as a brain fuck up freak w 500 disabilities

[the-grape-entity]

Unexpected side effect of using my cane at the conference I was at this week: the difference in soreness between each of my legs is insane

[ghost-likes-minecraft]

i'm very physically affectionate, if i like you i will try and lean on you at all times. however, i have a friend who's pretty touch adverse (i can count on one hand the number of times they have willingly touched me). i've realized that in order to satisfy the 'lay on friends' urge and respect their boundaries, i'm always on top of them when we play minecraft together.

[crowcussion]

she said we’ll ask the doctor but one that isn’t completely necessary and two why didn’t she say that at first instead of basically invalidating my struggles?

[basssiliskk]

I'm so tired of school ever since my PoTS became debilitating and I started using a cane and had to make my teachers & school nurse aware of my condition like half of my teachers talk to me like a wounded animal and it makes me sick to my stomach

please don't talk to disabled people like they're fragile or in their final days all the time. i know personally it makes me really uncomfortable bc i'm just a legal adult trying to get through the day like everyone else i don't need baby talked or looked at with sympathy. i know.

[rotteneldritchhorror]

I’m gonna scream this one into the void knowing that one person will hear it

Bryce is an autistic toe walker and can barely walk flat footed, her heels are essentially a mobility aid at this point and help her walk semi-comfortably

This is me hardcore projecting cause this is literally where half of my physical disability comes from but also no reasonable normal woman would willingly wear nothing but heels for almost her whole life

[miodiodavinci]

you know what actually it was very fucked up that even when i was in the ""healthy"" weight range i was still being pressured by my doctors to lose weight because my bmi was on the upper end of the range and not the lower end. like.

what the fuck was up with that.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[boomerang109]

what if capitalism is making the one job i thought was possible for me feel unattainable not because i haven’t literally been doing it since age 13 but because it’s not well paid enough so until you get into a higher position you have to work multiple jobs and i knew that i always knew that but. fuck. why is adulting going to be so exhausting. what if this really is the best time of my life? being a depressed college student? what if it’s downhill from here?

[kelpiemomma]

I love him 🥺 he took care of me today

[h-i-raeth]

Time And Hearts Will Wear Us Thin (hanahaki deconstrucion fic) for wip wednesday? i love hanahaki deconstruction

WIP Wednesday Ch 1-3 on AO3 here

“And it didn’t get worse after I told you that you had to be out of your mind to make a move on me,” Robin continues, offering her hand to him palm side up. “Because I didn’t withdraw the affection I do have for you by rejecting you. Even though you didn’t land a single date with anyone else despite quite literally throwing yourself at a wide variety of eligible young women.”

Steve takes the offer, and Robin starts rubbing circles into the hand he places in hers with her thumb. “That would seem to be the case.”

“So. Maybe the answer isn’t to go throwing yourself into a rebound relationship."