It's fascinating how even though you don't always hear about \ anyone other than Astarion, every origin companion in BG3 has an endgame/epilogue state that is either outright bad for them or at the very least "not as good as they deserve".
Obvious there have been books and 100,000 pages of fic and discourse written about Ascended Astarion. In the moments when he almost acts like his old self, even then it's merely humoring you with a whim.
Mother Superior DJ Shadowheart flat out admits to severe empathy for what Viconia went through, and has fully closed herself off from any sense of attachment or feeling other than Nocturne and Tav. Her continued need to find carve-outs and exceptions and loopholes parallels Viconia's own eventual disagreements with Shar. And as we know, Shar will eventually betray or abandon her if Shadowheart doesn't betray her first. It's the story of every devout Sharran we meet.
Gale, the God is a smug arrogant hubris-ridden asshole that's even mean to Tara in the epilogue. Nearly every single sentiment he expressed about why he wanted the Crown and to ascend is immediately inverted. Of course he's not going to interfere. He's a figure of aspiration. Once he received power himself he immediately forgot and forsook everyone and everything about why he wanted it in the first place. A romanced God Gale is SLIGHTLY more grounded but that's mostly just because you ground him. And if you ascend with him, that ends that.
Lae'zel's return to Vlaakith results in her ascension, which leads to her missing the party and being very dead. The things that Lae'zel claimed to value will never truly be as long as Vlaakith rules, and her not escaping and falling back into her people's death cult robs her of the ability to create a new Gith, a better Gith.
Karlach is dead, or almost as bad, a Mind Flayer. And while most of her initial personality remains, by six months in she's already grown emotionally distant and her personality is clearly and evidently being slowly overridden by the brains of the dying she consumes. She's forsaken the embrace of death for the guise of eternal continuation in her. And even surrounded by the ten people who should mean the most in the world to her, all she mostly thinks about is others' perceptions of her (ala the Emperor) and the fact that she's hungry. Mind Flayer Karlach even notes that she used to think becoming a Mind Flayer would be the worst thing ever, but now she likes it. Shades of the Emperor x1000 and a clear sign that the Karlach we know and love is rapidly becoming a memory.
and then there's Grand Duke Wyll. On the surface, it appears the happiest of the "bad" endings, but pay attention. Note how he discusses wheeling and dealing and making agreements with patriars. (How well has contracts and deals worked out for you in the past?) Oh, and in certain conditions including romance, Wyll will offer you the chance to become a Grand Duke as well - with the others being his father (Ravengard #3) and Florrick (Wyll/Ulder's longest lasting family friend). That's not a government of the people for the people. When the power is tied up by a husband, spouse, his father, and their most trusted advisor, that's the makings of a monarchy or oligarchy. Of the type of patriar power-claim to last for generations, something Wyll himself once mocked. Oh, and if you adopt a child, then you get into the worst part of it all: Wyll's been busy running a city, and oh hey, instead of y'all bringing YOUR FOUR MONTH OLD DAUGHTER with you, hey, she'll be cool being watched by the Ilmater temple for a night right? Sorry, Wyll, were you saying something a few months ago about distant parenting? Yikes.
2K notes
·
View notes
Silent Scream
Summary: Another night and yet another nightmare. Tiriel and Astarion are discussing their traumas.
Pairing: Astarion x OC (Tiriel)
Tags: fluff, hurt/comfort, post-game, named Tav, established relationship, f!tav
Thanks @wilteddreamsofbaldursgate for beta-reading!
Read on AO3
Masterlist
Headcanons
Tiriel wakes up.
She doesn’t quite know where she is - the surrounding is too soft, too warm. Unlike anything she’s gotten used to.
The room in the inn.
Tiriel looks to her right and sees Astarion. He is on his back, eyes shut and hands on his chest as if he were resting in a coffin.
Is he sleeping or meditating?
She smiles, looking at his features. He is beautiful when he is this peaceful. Tiriel truly hopes that nothing is haunting right him now.
Tiriel gently touches his soft curls.
Life is so good with him. To have him under the same blanket with her—naked or dressed. To feel his kisses, to hear his voice.
Tiriel had never known bliss like this before she met Astarion.
Before, she always had to stand vigilant. Always be ready to fight back. A lonely woman on the road is always a target, though people who tried challenging her had their hands and heads cut off more often than not.
Before, she always had to be strong. As a woman full of rage, she turned to ale to numb the everlasting pain, if only for a little while. And no one had ever asked how she felt because people like Tiriel the Barbarian don't know pain.
Before, she had always been alone. Her mother had beaten her mercilessly. The stepfather who’d been oh so kind to accept a bastard child openly lusted for Tiriel even when she’d only been ten years old. No one had bothered to give her a name - she was a fairy, a pixie, a bastard. “I wish I had strangled you the moment I saw those disgusting pointy ears!” the woman had yelled, and her voice still echoed through the years, clawing at Tiriel and forcing her eyes to prickle with tears.
Don’t let them touch you. Don’t let them pity you. Don’t let them see you.
Always strong. Always independent. A woman of no home, no kin, and no purpose.
But this is all in the past.
Now, Tiriel sleeps without worries - Astarion guards her, never letting anyone mistreat her.
Now, Tiriel can be weak. She can cry in pain or let herself be carried away from the battlefield. Astarion washes her hair and tends to her wounds. Tiriel can complain about anything she wants and he happily listens to her.
She isn’t alone. As a child, Tiriel used to lull herself to sleep because her mother had refused to touch her. Astarion never lets her hand go. They can spend hours in each other's arms never having enough. Both are extremely touch-starved and even though they have been together for more than five years, the desire to hold each other hasn’t ceased in the slightest.
Tiriel props herself up on her elbow to see Astarion’s face better. Young and old at the same time, he is absolutely breathtaking.
Tiriel smiles.
When she was little, the village healer told her a story. It was about a warrior whose ancestors were giants and an enchanted prince who had been turned into a monster. The warrior fell in love with him, killed the witch who cursed him, they married, and their descendants became the inhabitants of the Sunset Mountains. The prince was described as the most handsome man the heroine had ever seen, and little Tyriel was sure he was an elf.
Suddenly, Astarion sits up and presses his knees against his chest.
“Are you all right?”
No response.
Astarion clenches his fingers and his body shudders.
Something is wrong.
The fairytale ended with the wedding and no storyteller can tell if the prince suffered from nightmares and whether his warrior wife had to cradle him in her arms throughout the night.
Tiriel knows better than to touch Astarion right away. It’s always different. Sometimes he craves touch and begs Tiriel to hold him. Sometimes he snaps and pushes her away. It depends on what he saw in his nightmares.
If it was sexual, he feels his skin burn - and touches make it worse.
If it was torture, he just weeps in Tiriel’s hands until it all goes away.
Tiriel sits in front of him.
This is bad.
His eyes are shut but his mouth is open in a silent scream. His nails pierce the pale skin and there are droplets of blood.
The only time Tiriel saw him like this was in the mansion when he stood over his dead master’s body.
She didn't dare touch him back then. Just stood in front of him before Astarion managed to see her.
“Astarion, I am here,” Tiriel whispers. “Ikwe”
It doesn't help. Tiriel grabs a hunting knife and slices her wrist. The blood spills over blankets.
And she once was so afraid of vampires…
She puts her wrist to his lips and Astarion sinks his fangs into her skin. It is painful as hell - Tiriel thinks she will never like the sensation of being bitten. But her blood is the only medicine that saves Astarion from pain and nightmares.
“Seldarine,” he whispers, closing his face. “You are here.”
“I am.”
Astarion bursts into tears as silent as the screams before them.
“I killed you,” he finally manages to say. “I fucking killed you.”
“Nightmare, then.” Tiriel returns to bed and pulls him to her so that her nose almost brushes against his “You killed me?”
“Yes. I was… in that fucking mansion. And… you tried to talk me out of Ascension. When you refused, I… I murdered you. I was so sure it was real I was afraid to look back at your side of the bed.”
He keeps weeping and Tiriel strokes his mutilated back. When his tears cease, she asks:
“Astarion, what do I do to make you feel better?”
“Nothing. Go to sleep.”
“Be honest with me, please.”
“It’s just unfair to wake you up like this, considering you need more time to feel rested.”
“ It’s all right, Astarion. Tell me I will sleep better if I know you are all right..”
“Can you… tell me some fairytale? Please.”
Tiriel nods, and Astarion positions himself over her as a weighted blanket and she immediately runs her fingers through his hair. “A fairytale?
She often sings for him - ballads and songs of the Sunset Mountains, sometimes sad, sometimes cheerful. Astarion even thought for the first months she composed them herself before she managed to explain that her people are illiterate and pass down their stories by singing.
Astarion is less interested in human fairy tales, though she has told him one or two.
“Ok, I will tell you how the people of the Sunset Mountains came to be. A thousand years ago when the world was younger…"
He chuckles. “Darling, a thousand years ago isn’t some ancient time. It’s one elven generation”
“... There was a woman, whose father was a giant…”
Tiriel whispers the fairytale into Astarion’s ear. She heard this story only once when she was nine. A village healer told it to distract little Tiriel from pain after her drunk stepfather had cut her right ear. For some reason, Tiriel remembers the story word for word.
She notices Astarion gets unusually silent once the story comes to the enchanted prince part. The evil witch made him a monster and as a monster, he attacked the heroine. But she managed to see past the enchantment clouding his eyes and recognized his true nature.
By the end of the story, Tiriel feels her eyelids getting heavy. Astarion elbows up and kisses her cheek.
“For real, Tiriel? A woman who wielded a two-handed ax met a disgusting monster, decided he was a prince, saved him from the evil witch and they lived happily ever after? Did I understand everything right?”
“Yes. That’s my favorite one.”
“Because you see yourself in this… ancestor of yours? And wanted to get a prince?”
“I did. I also wanted her cape. All black with three golden runes. Home, Fire, Mountains. When the prince returned to his human form,” she yawns. “He was naked and she wrapped him up in that cape.”
Astarion chuckles.
“I am far from a fairytale prince.”
“Who said?”
“And you didn’t try to wrap me in your cape.”
“Because you were like an open wound.”
“I was.”
Tiriel yawns again and drifts into sleep.
**
Astarion sits up on a bed. The vision of the nightmare is still in front of his eyes - a mutilated body, a cry of pain. But Tiriel is there. She is always there. Through his nightmare, pain, and suffering. Never giving up, never leaving. Her red hair and half-elven ears are the first things he sees when he wakes up and the last when he goes to meditate.
Her warmth, her kindness. Did that prince from the human fairytale pray to send him a hero? Was he too scared to recognize the hero in the half-giant woman?
Astarion prayed, that’s for sure. He hoped. Always hoped. And Tiriel came. Loud, rude, brave. His half-elven love who also fears nothing. No gods, no monsters, no vampires, no mind flayers. If the fairytale had any word of truth, she was a worthy descendant of that warrior of the past.
Astarion wants to do something for Tiriel. To give something to her, something she has never had. Something she will hold dear, something meaningful. Damn, Tiriel even didn’t have a name until she turned sixteen and took one for herself when she realized it wasn’t normal to be called slurs.
An idea comes to his mind and Astarion, making sure Tiriel is warm and comfortable in her bed, leaves the bedroom to disappear into the night.
**
It’s already late afternoon but she feels like she could sleep for another day or two.
“Hello, my sweet, awake already?” Astarion asks from the other side of the master’s bed. He is fully clothed and she notices blood on his jacket.
“Not really.”
“Well if you don’t get up you won’t see what I got for you.”
Tiriel tilts her head. “I am intrigued.”
“Get up, then.”
Tiriel stretches her back and stands up. She still feels dizzy but she also is hungry like a crag cat.
“I got up!”
“Such an obedient little warrior,” he smiles and reaches out for a soft bundle. “Take a look.”
Tiriel stares at the gift in disbelief.
It’s a black cape with bright golden runes.
Home
Fire
And the third one…
“I wasn’t sure what material your fairytale cape was made of but I assure you it’s very durable.”
Now it’s Tiriel’s turn to cry. “You made it tonight?”
“Lucky for me, you sleep like a bear.”
“But the runes? Those are Sunset Mountains runes! I thought no one knew them here!”
“Darling, these runes are quite spread among humans in the north. Though, I wasn't sure if I used the right ones.”
Tiriel sniffs and wraps herself in the cape. It is so thick and warm that it could very well protect Tiriel from both biting winds and freezing cold.
“Do you like it?”
“Of course I do!” She plants a kiss on his lips. “Thank you!”
“Did I do the runes well?”
“I thought you were sure you did them right? Yes, Fire and Home are.”
Astarion looks up and Tiriel notices his uneasiness. It happens to him when he makes mistakes - an echo of two hundred years of punishments and tortures.
“The third one is a different rune, it doesn’t mean “Mountains”. It has many meanings. But you mostly can see them on wedding capes. Astarion, it means “love”, “family”, and “bounds”. Are you sure you didn’t make this mistake intentionally?”
He grins and Tiriel knows he really didn’t mean it. She sits back and wraps the cape around them both.
“Well, considering we’ve been together for five years, I accept your belated wedding cape, my dear prince.”
They laugh and fall back down onto the bed. Astarion’s strong hands tug Tiriel closer.
“I love you, salen aravae,” he says, caressing Tiriel’s cheek.
Ikwe - get back!
Salen arael - my greatest joy
--
Tag list
@tugoslovenka @marcynomercy @wintersire @vixstarria @not-so-lost-after-all @ashiro20 @theearthsfinalconfession @herstxrgirl @starlight-ipomoea @micropoe10 @astarion-imagine-archive @veillsar @elora-the-slutty-songstress @fayeriess @lumienyx @tallymonster @caitlincat-95 @tragedybunny @valeprati @lynnlovesthestars @marina-and-the-memes @waking-electric @ayselluna @connorsui @asterordinary @darkarchangel96
97 notes
·
View notes