#barbatos genuinely fucking hates it

[rowavolo]

btw diavolo and i have matching furbies that are loosely themed after one another so we can hold them when we miss each other. we dress them up for dates and he takes photos of them for his silly little devilgram account where he has a very dedicated following. i have a clear little pocket in my backpack where mine sits so everyone can see it and his has a little baby carrier type thing that he forces barbs to carry around.

mine is named deejay (diavolo junior), his is lilro (lil rowan) or something like that <3

[devildom-moss]

Mephisto's performance

(Mephisto x gn!MC)

(NSFW) (angst) (NSFW tags: very slight dom!top!Mephisto and bottom!MC; "office" sex, semi-public/risky, no condom, creampie, hate-fucking, "use me" dynamic, consent - but with a lot of regret so maybe dubious?, slight degradation with backhanded praise, Mephisto calling MC a whore and a slut, so slutshaming, pain, slapping, fingering light bondage, half-clothed, no orgasm for MC sorry)

(other tags: religious undertones, one-sided enemies to ?who knows?, sad/bittersweet ending)

Word Count: +2,200

To say you admired Mephistopheles was an understatement; you were absolutely smitten. Granted, he had a reputation for being a pompous asshole whose presence left a bitter taste in Lucifer’s mouth – the same mouth that warned you about spending time with the likes of Mephisto and questioned your recent attention to “a demon whose attitude and pride might be excusable if it was offset by actual wit and usefulness.”

Clearly, Lucifer either hadn’t seen the version of Mephisto that you had – the small slips in his bitter façade – or he had, and Lucifer simply refused to acknowledge it. You didn’t care what anyone else said about Mephisto. He had watched over Luke when he fell asleep in common places multiple times. As much as he protested, when you really needed him, he offered his assistance in whatever form he could – especially when it would aid Diavolo. If nothing else, Lucifer should have remembered that Mephisto was right there with Diavolo and Barbatos, tending to him and his brothers on the day they fell. You knew better. Mephisto was sweet.

He was adorable. You remembered the precious smile he had on his face while staring up at the new blossoms forming on the trees one early morning. It wasn’t the only time you had caught his face softening, entranced by some natural beauty. Mephisto still blushed when you would pay him a genuine compliment, covering his mouth with a gloved hand.

Sweet. Adorable. And so, so sexy.

Lust and affection had motivated you to pay Mephisto a visit in the RAD Newspaper Club room – another attempt to get on his good side. This time, you brought gifts to appease the bitter old demon: hot coffee and sweets that you and Luke had baked yesterday. However, the second you walked through that door, Mephisto let out an annoyed sigh.

“Why are you bothering me?” he asked, sparing you a second glance – but not a third.

“I wanted to cheer you up,” you admitted, setting your offering on his desk. “Diavolo told me that he had seen you working nonstop in preparation for the upcoming event. I figured that might be why you’ve been frowning every time I’ve seen you all week. I brought you coffee and sweets that Luke and I made.”

Part of you had an inkling that Mephisto actually enjoyed your company more than he let on. Maybe you were just clinging to a deeply engraved hope that he wanted you. Maybe you read into signs of his kindness towards you. Perhaps wishful thinking turned a two-second glance – maybe even a judgmental glare – into a longing stare. You wanted to break through his defenses if he’d let you. Well, you had certainly broken something.

Your act of kindness pushed Mephisto over the edge, and he looked up from his work and raised his voice at you. “I have too much on my plate to keep drilling this into that thick, fucking skull of yours. I don’t like you, you won’t change my mind, and that pathetic hopeful look on your face infuriates me.”

You didn’t fully believe him – as desperate as that may sound. Perhaps it was selfish, but you didn’t want to leave him alone in that room.

Mephisto waited for you to turn around and walk away, but you didn’t budge. He sighed and got to his feet. “What? Why are you still here? Why are you bringing me things hours before any of your classes even start? What do you want?”

Most classes hadn’t started yet, but if you hadn’t arrived before everyone else, you wouldn’t have been able to see Mephisto alone. Barbatos had mentioned that Mephisto was an early riser in passing once, so you figured you would find him overworking himself that morning. As for what you wanted, you wished it was more obvious to him.

“I want you to love me,” you confessed. Mephisto circled his desk so he could sandwich you between himself and the desk, blocking your path to the exit.

“How do you want me to love you? With my boot on your neck? With my fingers buried inside of you? With my hips pressed against you? What do you want? How do you expect me to love you? I could ruin you, but love?”

You shuddered. Was this a rejection or an invitation? You forced the words, and they fell out in a clumsy mess. “I don’t expect it – you loving me. I just want it, but you could ruin me instead if you wanted.”

Mephisto’s eyes widened; he retreated slightly before narrowing his eyes. “What are you saying?”

“Use me – if you really can’t love me.” Shame burned in your cheeks, but you continued. You were determined to call his bluff. “Take out your anger and hatred on my body. Do whatever you want.”

Maybe he truly hated you. Maybe he would be disgusted by your offer. Maybe he would refuse because he did love you. Or maybe he would agree to use you – to ruin you – without a trace of affection. Even then, at least you would finally get to be with him for however long you could manage to be entertaining. The possibilities ran through your head, just quick enough to fill the brief moment before Mephisto responded.

“Turn around,” he demanded. His voice was cold. In truth, you hadn’t expected him to take you up on your offer. Your heart sank as you watched Mephisto remove his tie. A low, growling sigh left him when you remained immobile. He took your arm and forced you to turn. “You offered. So, do as you’re told.”

Your voice caught in your throat. Mephisto made quick work of knotting his tie around your wrists and up your forearms, binding them behind your back. Fear washed over your body as you felt Mephisto tug your pants and underwear down to your ankles. Was this really what you wanted?

Mephisto reached over you, pressing his chest firmly against your back as he did, and pulled a bottle of lube from his top desk drawer. You didn’t question why he had it there, but you did have a question for him: “Why are you using that on me?”

The answer was obvious, but you were begging for some kind of affection from him, wishing for the words “I don’t want to hurt you” to leave his lips with enough sweetness to sate you, but they didn’t come. Instead, Mephisto removed his glove; tugged on his tie, bringing you closer; and shoved his glove into your mouth to shut you up. You felt one cool, lubricated finger plunge into you – quickly followed by a second. You bit down on his glove as he began to stretch you out.

“To answer your question, I’d be in a world of trouble if anyone found out that I hurt you. Everyone seems to think that you’re so fucking precious. Besides,” Mephisto paused, using the last word to soften the spite in his voice before he continued, “you’ll feel better if I do this first.”

You couldn’t tell if he meant that you would feel better for him or if he wanted you to feel some kind of pleasure from this too, but you hoped. However, that hope wasn’t enough to ease the heavy aching in your chest. Even through the bits of pleasure you felt when Mephisto’s long fingers curled into your body, you knew that this wasn’t how you wanted it. That truth sat rancid in your gagged mouth – somehow more unsavory than anything. Even the realization that you would die (for good) one day was less distasteful than this.

It was almost a comfort when Mephisto pulled his fingers out. You heard his pants drop before he tugged you violently towards him. Your ass was flush against him. There was a filthy relief in knowing that he was hard. At least you had aroused him a bit, then, right? You wished you could have suppressed the dirty, joyous hope you felt. Maybe he wanted you just as badly.

Mephisto entered you slowly. It almost felt intimate: the way he ran his gloved hand through your hair before tugging at it, the way his lips found your neck before it was all teeth and marks, the way his hips rocked slowly into you before he stopped holding back. He almost made this feel like affection before the poison left his mouth between panting and groans. “Not so useless anymore, are you?”

How did he know exactly how to give you a gentle touch that left you hoping before he stripped it from you? He said he didn’t want anyone to know he hurt you, so of course he would figure out how to break your heart. At least that was a pain you could never show anyone. It would live in you – and he would be the only other person who knew that such a haunting beast was hiding inside.

You choked back tears as his thrusting picked up speed and intensity, forcing your thighs against his desk repeatedly with each buck of his hips. This was going to bruise. It was just enough to slosh some of the coffee out of the cup you had brought him earlier. A small puddle pooled towards the edge of the desk until it grazed your thigh, burning for a moment before all you could feel was a numb ache – a small punishment for your foolishness.

This time, you couldn’t hold back a groan. You had tried so hard to disguise any sign of pain or pleasure, but this was too much. Your muffled noise alerted Mephisto to the mess you had both made. It was a small one with no casualties. It hadn’t even reached any of his documents. The only thing left damaged was you, and yet Mephisto dragged you back by the tie around your arms, his cock still buried in you, with an angry, “fuck.”

Did he not want you to get hurt? No.

Mephisto tugged your hair up until you were standing upright – as upright as you could be when you were still impaled on him. He took his glove out of your mouth before he forcefully bent you over towards the edge of the desk. “Lick up the mess, whore.”

You did as he told you. The coffee was still hot, and it stung on your tongue, but you were distracted by a firm slap to your ass. When you managed to clean up the mess, Mephisto brought you upright again with a rough tug and shoved his glove back into your mouth.

“There’s a good little slut,” Mephisto chuckled before he continued to fuck you – even more violently than before. He called you good, at least.

You were choking back tears when he snaked his gloved hand tenderly around your neck. Mephisto used his index finger to guide your chin up. Staring at the ceiling, with your eyes to heaven, you felt that you owed something – someone – a prayer. You wanted to thank some god that Mephisto’s hand was there around your throat – as if the slight pressure was the only thing keeping the sobs and moans inside of you. No. It wasn’t a god that you were grateful to. It was Mephisto. Even as he used you for his amusement, your desire still burned. Your love blazed steadily. Through the pain and emptiness, you still adored him. How pathetic.

Even more pathetic was the contentment you felt as Mephisto sunk his teeth into your shoulder, muffling his moans as he came inside of you. He didn’t pleasure you enough for you to cum; you got the smallest taste of it, and somehow you were content.

Mephisto was quick to pull out of you and get his pants back up. You stood there, trying to reel yourself back into your body – too slowly for Mephisto’s liking. He tugged your pants and underwear back up for you. His glove slipped from your mouth and onto the floor as you attempted to protest with a feeble, “wait.”

His cum had already started to leak out, and the feeling of it sickened you – a shameful sickness. This felt awful and wrong and disgusting, but the most resentful part of you quietly wanted him to bend you back over his desk and fill you up all over again.

Mephisto pulled you in by his tie around your arms and leaned close to your ear. “Keep it in you. I want that sensation to stick with you all day and remind you how much I despise you. Now get out of my sight.”

You felt his tie slip from around your arms. Mephisto dragged you towards the door and shoved you out into the hallway. You heard the distinct sound of the door locking behind you.

Mephisto waited for your hesitant footsteps to fade away down the hall before he sunk his teeth into the back of his ungloved hand. Tears streamed down his face as he dropped to his knees on the floor. Had he finally given you a convincing performance – persuaded you to stay away from him?  

In that dim room on a dark Devildom morning, on his knees, Mephisto felt that he owed something – someone – a prayer. Unsure if he was even allowed – or who would hear it – he prayed that he had finally shown you what a monster he was. The cruel, wicked beast he housed had spit its parasitic DNA into you and waited to consume you. He was a demon, with his hands clasped so tightly together that they trembled, brought to his knees. His prayer – half-confession – found no purchase. It lived only inside of him, and even you would never know. It was a small, lenient punishment.

[alexxncl]

‼️NIGHTBRINGER LESSON 40 SPOILERS‼️

masterlist | all lessons | lesson 39

the end of an era (season 2)

normal and hard spoilers

oh baby :(

see every time i remember how sheltered diavolo is it makes me hate his father that much more. he grew up with everything in the world, but practically nobody to share it with.

diavolo had to have been smart enough to have caught onto the reason behind mephisto's attachment to him at an early age. he might be dense, but he's not stupid. even if he and mephisto did end up becoming really good friends, diavolo knew early on that their proximity was for business and royalty purposes only, and that friendship and a genuine relationship was second to their professional relationship

i feel like this is why he initially thought of the brothers as treasures in regard to status rather than as people, and the mindset shifted to seeing them as treasures in regards to the relationship he formed with them. he wanted genuine connection, but forming a professional connection before a genuine relationship was so deeply ingrained in him that he defaulted to it without even realizing it

...he can't be fucking serious

GET HIM OUT I BEG

he would've done this regardless of the option we picked during the angel's trial i hate it here...can't he take a class or smth instead of experimenting on us

i'm gonna kill him /j

i'm a whore in the game so i technically date everyone at once. but why does he NEVER say i love you back ????? not even in the first game ????????

like ok you're a time demon who shouldn't get attached to anyone and you choose to stay unattached bc you'll lose everyone anyways blah blah blah but at least indulge me a little bit 💔

SOBS UNCONTROLLABLY I LOVE THEM

i feel like they know this is their last goodbye yk? obviously barbatos does, but this feels very, very final on their part. maybe it's a different version the feeling they have when they go into mc's room, like they can feel mc being pulled away from them physically

what if the end of the lesson or the story in the hard part of the lesson is them portalling back to their timeline and the brothers getting a glimpse of their alternate selves? and then everything clicking into place after mc leaves?

the fact that simeon has as many doubts about his father's intentions as lucifer and his brothers did really solidifies my belief that he wanted to, in the worst case, fall with the brothers. and if he didn't fall, he'd at least have begged for answers as much as lucifer did before the war. he was demoted after the war for helping the brothers in canon, and i feel like he still beats himself up about it because of the side he chose. him and raphael both, but raphael is better at hiding it

(i have a whole post about simeon and michael before the war here)

i've said this about a million times but...

the brothers ever 🫶🏽

they're such shitheads but also extremely concerned i love their dynamic sm

SEE I TOLD YOU ‼️ HE MASKS HIS FEAR WITH ANGER (even though i'm pretty sure this was confirmed in canon in the og game and in nb s1)

him admitting that he was scared though? putting his pride aside and actually talking about his feelings for once? this is proof of how much he trusts mc, how much he loves and cares for them, even if he can't explain why the feelings he holds for them are so strong

it also shows that he's thankful to have someone who will care about and protect his brothers as much as he does, and some of the weight of the "oldest brother" mantle has been lifted. it allows him to be vulnerable and at least a little more carefree, which is why he's seen joking and laughing with his brothers so much more often in the later lessons in comparison to season 1 and early season 2

i feel like i'm SUPOOSED to reach bc why would he phrase it like that ??? i don't think he knows...but he's really intuitive

or maybe this was a way of the devs using him to unofficially-officially send us off and into our original timeline. idk. i'm reaching but they made me

THEY DID NOT

oh i'm really gonna cry...they took what we wrote in season 1 and showed it to the boys

i COMPLETELY forgot we even did this 😭 god i'm gonna cry i love this game sm

I KNEW NO TIME PASSED THANK GODDDDDD

i don't think i'd be able to handle it if the same amount of time passed across realms

i also think this is why they emphasized "time soup" so heavily, you can be put anywhere at any time as if nothing had changed

...i can't believe it's over

...for now at least

well time to read the HDD story and catch up on devilgram

[drfirefly08]

warning: ragbros only space you fuckers

[diluc introduces his boyfriend to kaeya]

[dawn winery]

kaeya: [stares]

childe: [stares]

venti: [sipping his dandelion wine] so.. why am i here?

diluc: damage control, i would've picked rosaria or jean but rosaria would've killed ajax without a single thought and jean needs her rest, she has enough on her plate

venti: yeah alright then [continues drinking]

diluc: [sighs and looks at kaeya and childe] are you guys just gonna keep staring?

kaeya: why this fuck-tui? why a fuck-tui at all!

diluc: can you please stop calling the fatui that. i get it, i hate the fatui too, but ajax isn't that bad..

kaeya: no! not at all! he's a harbinger! he's using you obviously!

diluc: no he's not, i thought that at first but seeing him in liyue again.. he's obviously genuine about his love for me

kaeya: i don't trust him!

childe: you're the cavalry captain right? quartermaster too? you must be veryy strong! fight me!

diluc: ajax no-

kaeya: gladly! i'll beat your fuck-tui ass!

diluc: KAEYA NO-

kaeya: maybe you'll show your true colors, tartaglia! that way diluc will finally see reason

diluc: oh fucking barbatos, why must kaeya be so fucking protective... oh! VENTI, HELP ME OUT

venti: nah they'll be fine

diluc: YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE DAMAGE CONTROL YOU DAMN BARD

venti: i thought you found childe fighting hot

diluc: NOT AGAINST MY BROTHER!!!

[stairzzzz]

Venti x angel!reader

idk how tf to write a proper fanfic and i’m like really tired so idk i just wanna share my idea/brain dump for a fic LMAO fic below image :3

picture this, like user is initially like rahh i hate these darn archons gods i’m gonna be the next god cause these darndid losers think they’re so cool i’m gonna kill the anemo one rahh and like upon seeing him users like omg actually he’s kinda.. no i gotta kill him! ohh but… runs away from the situation and hides away in the forests and cries through internal conflicts and turmoil cause user is like a piss baby or smth

and then venti “accidentally” finds user and is like dear angel why do you weep? and user is like aggressive at first but venti sees that user genuinely won’t do much to him- past some mean words ig and like he gently talks with user and makes them open up and then users like, tbh i am lost celestia, sent me down and yet i have no guidance, i should believe in celestia heavenly principals rahh yet i don’t.. i feel like shit blah blah trauma


and ventis like, yo, let’s go drink our worries away, the wine in mond is like totally epic. like they slowly fall inlove but user meanwhile is like grr i wanna kill him.. oh but like one more hangout… rahh but he’s so lame… i’m lying to myself.. no i’m not!! yes i am…

and eventually venti saves user from an attack or smth and like users like ohmahgah i owe you my life blah blah and ventis like oh, no dw bro it’s the land of the free don’t be pressured and users like stfu i worship you now cause you’re so cool and epic i do this from my own free will

time serving and shii. user protects mondstadt like an honorary wind? direct warrior angel thing for venti? shit hits the fan and venti does his 500 year nap?? LMAO and user like goes to zhongli for friendship for 500 years as like a mini side plot relevance thing cause users like still kinda like humans are mid lowkey the heavenly principles celestia whatever the fuck made a mistake with them LMAO they die so fast they’re so delicate they’re so lame And UGLY and STINKY lmao whatever have it

And like so far venti and user has had a fair few intimate moments throughout their interactions and it’s like implied but it’s still mostly platonic and like close close close besties homies typa thing?? (users kinda stupid piss baby so they’re like yo wtf is this feeling? oh it’s just my love and worship for jesus barbatos)

venti wakes up and comes back and users like emeerger i sense a change in the wind- where is he?? where is my beloved i mean where is my god? cue them searching mond and finally seeing venti and like user runs into his arms and is like omg barbatos!! i knew the wind had returned and ventis like oh my dear user you sure have missed me LMAO

emotion relief slightly and venti is like and i go by ventii as my human disguise lololol and user is like oh should i have a human disguise as well?? lmao??? and like he’s like ahh nahh.. maybe actually if you gonna hang round me like this LMAO

they have a catch up, user trauma dumps like i thought i’d be forever lost again- i wanted to die yadda yadda whatever yunno. they have a vulnerable moment and they finnally kiss like

user is yapping like oh barbatos ive loved you since we had our first drink even though i was lowkey murderous LMAOAHA and ventis like ily too since our second and like yeah but you couldn’t ever harm me cause you’re stinky like that HAHAHHA. yunno? like a fell first fell harder thing. they kiss again more cheesy romance yadda yadda fluff

then say gex

i hope you liked my brain dump HHAHAH I KNOW ITS BAD 💀💀💀

[shitposting-puppet]

A list of Genshin character headcanons and personal ships that Just Make Sense

This will also feature Aether as the traveler, im sorry-

Heizou was a victim and a perpetrator of the VHD. He lost his vision about 8 months in.

As a result he has difficulty with his emotions as well as the emotions of others. He's very inept, a genius but emotionally inept.

Kaveh and Al Haithem don't hate each other, but they definitely are not good friends.

Speaking of, I think Kavehthem is super toxic. Source? My parents were just like them before getting divorced and now they dont talk to each other.

Kaveh's hurt line of: "I've been through worse" yeah... He had a shitty ex.

The ex was a Dottore clone.

The same Dottore clone is how Lisa found out she was lesbian lol.

Diluc and Eula get fake married.

Eula so that she's finally rid of all ties to the Lawrence Clan

Diluc because he's so tired of getting hit on at the tavern...

Dehya and Yoimiya have prosthetics.

Poly5WIRL

(-Wanderer.) That man is so aroace istg

Heizou is also dating Tighnari. No I will NOT elaborate.

Meanwhile Aether is additionally dating Kaeya and Albedo

(who are also dating cause why wouldn't they?)

Heizou and Sara are each other's chosen family.

They eventually legally change their last names so that they're legally siblings too.

Heizou originally wanted to live on Watasumi, but the first time he escaped there he was found and dragged back home.

Speaking of: Heizou was born and raised on Yashiori, specifically in Higi Village.

When Heizou ran away to Watasumi, thats where he met Kokomi and Gorou.

Gorou is trans mtf. Her name is Hina. You cannot change my mind.

Hina and Koko? Married.

Ayato and Itto? Dating. I love they.

Thoma is a fucking wolf hybrid you cant change my mind! He can shape shift!

Also Noelle is his little sister i just

holds them gently

Cynonari is married, Collei is their long-suffering daughter.

Cyno continues to try and ask Kaveh out.

Kaveh continues to be super oblivious.

Kaveh 🤝 Collei = Trauma from Dottore.

Wanderer chose to go to college over hanging out with Traveler and their friends....

Only to end up talking to them anyway. He is Suffering.

Kaeya has Pyrophobia from the Fight.

Al Haithem is a dick. Like he won't bring up trauma or misgender you, but he's still an absolute asshole.

Why is he an ass? Because he knows and deliberately hurts others feelings. He is aware of what he's doing.

Al Haithem is also deaf + autistic. Yes, you can be disabled and still be an asshole.

Kaveh and Al Haithem are Autistic on Autistic Violence

The Nameless Bard's name is Raven, because I am a sucker for Dramatic Irony. Also because I like it.

Childe has chronic pain and early-onset arthritis

Shenhe is actually Chongyun's mom, she gave him away when he was a baby for his safety, and the cover story she and the village gave was that she's just an aunt.

Opposite to how Chongyun's energy is pure Yang, Shenhe's is pure Yin, making her much more likely to attract demons

Heizou and Sango genuinely cannot get along.

Kaveh is actually from Aaru Village. Well, before his dad moved them to the rainforest.

Kaeya actually resent his Khaenri'ahn heritage, as it gave him the impossible burden of spying on a nation.

Btw, Kaeya would choose Mondstadt over Khaenri'ah anyday.

Diluc has a room for Venti at the Winery.

Also, Diluc and Jean are not the only ones who know Venti is Barbatos. He aint that slick.

Albedo, Sucrose, Kaeya and Hu Tao also know.

Sucrose and Albedo? Figured it out themselves.

Kaeya? Found out by accident after Venti got too drunk.

Hu Tao? She already had suspicions that Zhongli was Morax, and Venti showing up along with him, Zhongli and Xiao all being awkward just confirmed it.

Heizou and Yanfei are pen pals. They're besties, Your Honor.

Kazuha and Heizou once did it on the fucking beach during VHD.

This was also 2 years before they started dating. And 3 before they met Aether.

Heizou's a bottom btw. a bratty one.

He and Sango tried dating once while they still got along, but broke up long before they split off

Technically, because of the Irminsul wipe, Venti is still the youngest of the archons. Nahida doesn't know how to feel about this. Neither does Aether.

XIAO IS CANONLY OLDER THAN VENTI ISTG IM NOT JOKING XIAO IS 4000+ AND VENTI IS AROUND 2600 IM FERAL

Anyway

Heizou is allergic to mangoes. And Lavender Melon, and- actually this guy is allergic to near every fruit... Except for sunsettias and pineapples, strangely enough.

This doesn't stop him from eating candy. Much to Sara's horror.

Dw, she has the bfs gang up on him.

Heizou struggles with depression at times. And it's something he goes to therapy for. He hasn't done anything, but for a while it was pretty bad, especially right after the decree ended.

Kaeya has hEDS (Hypermobile Ehlers Danlos Syndrome)

It means his bones are more likely to dislocate and pop out of socket if he's not careful.

KAEYA FUCKING DUEL WEILDS SWORD AND CATALYS PLEASE MIHOYO GIVE ME CATALYST KAEYA I PROMISE TO BE GOOD

Kaeya is also autistic with some pretty weird sensory issues. The second water gets in his boots this man will toss them off faster than Signora died.

He hates wet socks. Despises them

Yes I'm projecting.

Speaking of Signora. Aether and Venti held a small unofficial funeral for her on Cape Oath. They only had her mask to bury...

Faruzan has all but adopted Kaveh as her grandson. Kaveh has accepted this.

She/they Paimon.

Aether is older than everyone (because, well, physical manifestation of a star) and doesn't tell anyone. He finds it funny

Hes also lactose intolerant. Lumine too.

Aether doesn't let it stop him. Lumine hates this about him.

Fischl is a system

The events of the Aranyaka quest and the Pari quest happened around the same time. How you ask? Aether didn't go to Sumeru alone, he brought Heizou and Kaeya (this is before Hei joined the polycule-)

Its also when Tighnari and Heizou eventually started dating because Heizou kept running off and dragging Kaeya with him when they were supposed to be recovering from the Samsara and Tighnari went "Oh godsdammit i like him..."

Cyno and Nari talked it out and Collei was also cool with it so Nari shot his shot and... It took longer than expected for Heizou to notice...

ANYWAY PARI QUEST

Along with Heizou and Kaeya, Kaveh and Nilou also went with them.

As you've spotted, there isn't a single healer among them

Heizou preoceeds to give Kaeya his spare catalyst and turns that boy into a healer.

"Sorry Aether, I turned your boyfriend into a healer"

The catalyst was the Inazuma craftable one...

Kaveh and Heizou actually hit it off pretty well, bonding over being geniuses in their respective fields

Nilou is Mom friend. Im correct. She calls people "darling" and "sweetheart"

Anemo should be allowed to swirl Dendro so it does in my universe.

Kaeya and Heizou are the ones to find the door to Khaenri'ah... Kaeya doesn't react well and all Heizou has to go on is that maybe the Abyss hurt him somehow

He's kinda right, but its not the full picture.

Also Cynonari have absolutely no clue where those two are at this point... They are Freaking Out because Aether is off doing other things and told them to keep those two in Ghandarvah Ville...

Heizou punches Al Haitham in the fucking face.

Lyney has longer hair, and it's braided over his shoulder like in Lisa's alt skin.

Lyney's outfit is also 30% more slutty because holy shit its an abomination.

The twins are both cats. Lyney is SUCH a catboy (derogatory)

I want that Twink Obliterated.

One-sided LyneyxAether. Lyney gets over it... eventually.

Barbara and Freminet is such a cute ship yall are sleeping

Lyney is canonly Down Atrocious for Aether omg that poor magician

Freminet occasionally drags the twins swimming with him. But only in shallow water cause Lynette doesn't like the water. Lyney does though.

Freminet has killed a man that looked at Lynette wrong. He will kill again.

Lyney: Autistic ADHD

Lynette: Autistic

Freminet: Autistic Agoraphobic (Agoraphobia is the fear of people)

Freminet and Lynette tag team Lyney when he's talking bad about himself

Can you tell i love these guys?

Wriothesley and Clorinde are.... they got Something goin on

Neuvillette and Furina are married.

Heizou punches Lyney in the face after the trial

Is immediately sent to Solitary Confinement for Inciting a Riot... In front of Wriothesley

"Oh this is bad... This is really bad!" Heizou

"What's wrong man?" Cyno

"I kissed Aether!" Heizou

"Woahhhhhh... I owe Nari and Yanfei so much mora" Cyno

After 4.2 Furina moves in with Venti at the Dawn Winery.

Diluc walked in to see her and Venti playing cards and went "I'll go set up a room."

Also canonly? Heizou is fucking buff. Never forget he can take down the ENTIRE POLICE STATION WITHOUT A VISION

Lyney is just "He could have rocked my shit...why was that hot?"

Wriothesley is Suffering because he lost a match to a twink

Heizou is Not friends with the Orphan Trio lol, but he is friends with Chevreuse. They bonded over shitty dads

Heizou also just goes home with the Inazuma cast after the Fontianalia Film Festival

Yanfei and Cyno also go home lol cause Natlan would not be the best place for them

Heizou, Kano Nana, and Gaming are cousins on their mother's side. Their moms were sisters and grew up in Konda Village.

Gaming and Amber are cousins on the paternal side

Gaming does NOT forgive his father during Lantern Rite. He's also angry at Aether for telling people his private matters.

Heizou is there during Lantern Rite because Favoritism Privilege. Heizou is also upset because he's been there.

Heizou's brother is named Yamashi and his mom is Kanae. The father stays nameless bc fuck him.

[dollyyyhouse]

YAYAYAYA I FINALLY FINISHED THE SECOND PART OF THIS ^^ This is the second part of the previous Belphegor lesson 16 AU. I'm happy I'm finally posting again, I feel like I've been gone for so long... it's weird not posting how often I want to 😭 On another note it's my birthday in like an hour and I'm nervous 🫠

Spoilers for lesson 16 of Obey Me!!!!!

The freezing water engulfed your body, almost as if it were a vicious monster. Even after you thought of it as a monster about to destroy you, that monster still would've been nicer to you than the Avatars of Hell. At this point it felt like anybody in the entire universe was kinder than them, living with them was like a punishment for a crime you didn't commit. Perhaps it was one, you didn't come to Devildom on your own terms and hardly ever spoke to some of the brothers. "Why am I the one suffering? I didn't do anything wrong.", those were the words you kept repeating in your cluttered head.

The dark daytime felt even darker and the windy nights were even windier. You felt like a walking corpse; slow, tired, and sickly. You lost the motivation to eat, clean yourself and even sleep. It didn't matter if you were awake or not, the images of your own blood and corpse plagued your subconscious.

You closed your eyes and let out the remaining air in your lungs, allowing yourself to sink even deeper. That was when a strong hand pulled you out of the water, "MC, are you enjoying the pool so far?" Wiping off the water on your face, you opened your eyes to see Diavolo holding your hand, supporting you from sinking any deeper. "Oh, yeah it's nice.." Lord Diavolo invited you over to spend some time with him and Barbatos, so you asked if you could go into the pool and he gladly agreed. You didn't truly know why you wanted to get into the pool, you weren't sure if it was because you had the hopes of dying or because you just wanted someone, something, to embrace you.

"Is everything alright? It looks like you have a lot on your mind." The Lord gave you a small smile, one that didn't feel genuine. "I'm fine, I guess I do have a lot on my mind." You knew the purpose of you being in Devildom, to rekindle the broken ties with the other realms, a job you didn't want. "Are you sure, MC? You've seemed a bit down lately." Couldn't help but slightly glare at the demon, he wasn't dumb, he knew why you seemed different than usual. You couldn't tell why he was acting dumb, you hated it. You'd rather him just talk to you about Belphegor, the rest of the brothers and your ties with the demon realm instead of making you suffer like this.

You thought that maybe after you confronted Belphegor at the dinner table you'd feel just a little better, but instead you felt even angrier. You were sad, exhausted and most of all angry, angry because nothing was changing and the demons around you still weren't owning up for everything they had said and done. "I didn't ask for this! I didn't want to be brought to Devildom, I don't wanna bare this pain and pressure of constantly trying to make everything better!", you snapped at him. "MC, I'm sor—", "No! I don't want your fucking apology, I'm tired of hearing 'sorry, sorry, sorry' over and over again!" You grasped his hand that was holding yours, slightly leaning him closer to the pool. "You know what you've done, why am I suffering for things I've never done?! Why am I being treated like a chew toy?!" Tears began streaming down your face, not mistaken for pool water.

"I should've known how everything would've ended up, you're worse than demons! You made me go through timelines, made me almost get ripped to shreds and got me killed! All of this for what? To fucking help people who've hurt me! I'm not the one whose going to be able to reunite the realms, so leave me out of this shit!" With your other hand you grabbed his wrist and pulled him into the water alongside you. In the corner of your eye you could see Barbatos quickly appear at the edge of the pool, wanting to protect the Lord but seemingly waiting for a signal.

You straddled his waist and formed your fists into balls, "Why?! Why?! Why am I suffering like this? I can't escape it! All I can think about is the mental and physical pain, how Belphegor choked me and forced me to choke to death on my own blood! I still remember how I saw my body, blue and bloody! It hurt, it hurt so bad! I can't just say the mental pain is the only thing that hurts, the physical pain does too!!", you screamed at him. Like a feather, the two of you floated on top of the water, dipping under every now and then. You began pounding your fist on his chest, this was the first time you became even slightly violent. "MC, I promise you I will change this." Diavolo looked at you sternly, a hint of vulnerability in his eyes, an expression you weren't used to seeing in a long time. Your pounding slowly died down and your sobbing became louder, "D-iavolo.. I want to believe that, but I-I don't think I can anymore.." You hung your head, what happened to you? You used to be so easily excited, used to love spending time with friends but now everything and everyone felt gloomy and tiring.

"I should've thought more about how you felt, I'm sure this is unbelievably hard on you. You have no powers like Solomon, you're not an angel or demon and you were thrown into a realm you knew nothing about. I hurt you, even though my intentions were good what I did was selfish." With his hands, he held both of yours in his, "You're so strong MC, and I'm not gonna push you to your limit anymore."

Those words felt bittersweet, comforting yet cruel. You'll never forget how Belphegor brutally murdered you, you still remember the metallic taste of your blood and how you slowly and painfully lost all your senses the closer you neared death. If felt horrible, horrible to be away from home, stuck with demons, your murderer, and was secretly being manipulated by everyone around you. It felt as if your true self was really dead, and now you were just a shell of who you once were.

[arklayraven]

hi jay!! candy here how are you doing? sliding into your inbox with questions from the mc ask game. would you mind answering some questions?

for both Jayce and Ambrose:

⸺ RELATIONSHIPS & PERSONALITY ⸺

12: What makes them soft?

⸺ CONCEPT AND DESIGN ⸺

for Ambrose:

02: What inspired you to create them, and what is the first thing you decided about them?

for Jayce:

03: What is the biggest change you have made from their original concept?

Hi! I'm doing alright, having a coffee to help me wake up. pfff

And sure! Thank you for sending some my way! Hopefully I answer these okay. lol

(^・ω・^ )

12: What makes them soft?

For Jayce, I feel like it'll be genuine shows of affection to them. Either through words or actions. Physical touches might work too, but only from those they trust or admire/love(Asmo is the highest from this list fyi 💕). Head pats and cupping/caressing of their face are huge things to make them soften and pretty much submit to the person's charm. lol

For Ambrose, it's Solomon. It's always Solomon...No matter what that sorcerer will do, Ambrose's tough guy nature instantly drops for him. Like anyone around will notice it instantly, the way his attitude shifts, the way he's softer with his voice/words, etc. It's obvious Ambrose is in love with Solomon, yet Solomon has no interest in him it seems...

02: What inspired you to create them, and what is the first thing you decided about them?

For Ambrose. It was the last vampire event. pfff The moment the whole idea of a vampire realm/kingdom/etc was introduced. I was already hooked. (Ambrose is the youngest(as of now) prince to the King of Vampires, and least liked/cared for in the family. The idea of him being the black sheep of the family was always my main idea I think?)

Then I just found myself working more on his concept, (during the time Solomon was annoying me most lmao), and then suddenly made him and Solomon have a connection/history.

As much as Solomon bothers me, the idea of him not just using demons, but other beings to help him help humanity, intrigued me...It's all about power after all to him in the end, and I can see him seeing vampires as a clear power source.

So when he met Ambrose, and heard his story/life, and noticed they had a connection(which he could pull and take advantage of). Then came their pact together, and the plan to prevent anymore humans from being victim to vampires like Ambrose mother was...

03: What is the biggest change you have made from their original concept?

For Jayce. From being a oc not connected to me at all, to being a almost complete self insert. lol

I was going to make them be a character who was a either a distant descendant of Hermes, or have some strong connections to him. (traveling through realms/time with ease would of been their thing. Barbatos would of hated/loved this of them.)

And Hermes would of had some major parts in their life/story. Especially when the demon brothers get involved. (See him as a controlling figure, who suddenly pops into your life and wants to have complete toxic control over you and your life. haha yeah he's bad.)

But I started to hate the character and idea more and more as time went on...Also...I just didn't see myself or comfort from drawing them with Asmo, or even imagining them together. (if anything, I kinda grew jealous of them...)

I wanted a way to find real connection, love and comfort with Asmo in the end. He's my f/o after all, and then decided to say fuck it and just made my MC me pretty much. Only more cuter I guess. lol (also is sometimes a sheep like in game.)

They really don't have anything special I feel on background like when it comes to magic and all. They are just this human, with a fucked up life like me, who maybe can commune with spirits/etc(Mammon keeps their distance from Jayce for a reason lol).

As well, is in love with the Avatar of Lust, which is fitting, since Jayce lust for a happy loving life with someone finally. Where they can be just free finally and at peace(both mentally and physically).

And unlike the MC in game, Jayce isn't that great with magic, but does love it and tries to be better at it. (Let my MC be a struggling sorcerer! Yet shows clearly they have the potential to be stronger than Solomon! But only is hindering their own abilities because of fear/traumas/etc!)

OBEY ME MC & OC ASK GAME

[symphonicmetal101]

OCS MASTERLIST

I will add to this as I recieve braincells from the great unknown

Vizzie: me! Or a glorified self insert at least. She/they, 19 ish, 5'4, Queer and polyam, becomes Devildoms Queen (was not born a demon)

Jasper and Caspian: Vizzie's long lost brothers. Not fully human before all three siblings became demons. (18)

Jasper is gay and polyam as fuck, twinky little slut, emotional baby that demands attention (he/they) 5'7

Caspian is quiet demiboy, also an emotional baby but only lets his s/o see that (he/him) 5'9

(Also Caspian and Vizzie have slightly darker skintones than shown in this picrew)

Kai: Vizzie's childhood friend. Seperated from each other when they were 4, reunited in the Devildom years later, but they bring out the part that never grew up out of each other (demisexual, panromantic, he/him, 6'1)

Nanami: a bimbo-y little gorgon who genuinely just wants to make friends, but always forgets her enchanted glasses so she accidentally turns people to stone. (17, she/her, 13 feet long in her sneky snek form, 6'6 in her human form, figuring out her sexuality, leaning lesbian?)

Rouge: shes part of a family of 11, (I have names and picrews for all of them but there is a 10 pic limit on posts fhsjdb) a very shy and timid succubus until you piss her off. Fiercely protective of her family. Hates being summoned. Bisexual, leaning fem aligned preference. 19ish.

(Gia and Var are her parents, then Avon, Azro, her, Mary and Kay the twins (shhhh), Nyra, Belle, Manny, and Bubba)

Mazanine: RADs youngest and most ambitious teacher. She runs almost all the fine arts programs and acts as a mother/counselor figure in a lot of her students lives. One of the first aquatic demons to find a way to adapt to dry areas long enough to teach and whatnot. Shes an amazing cook, and speaks with something similar to a Nigerian accent.

Casimir: they're a ghost that haunts the HoL. Once upon a time they were Barbatos cousin from another timeline. They were sent to this timeline as a punishment and a last ditch effort to save their life. Has a lot of hate for angels. Little shit. (Genderfluid, they/she/he)

X and Nazari

X- was/is the oldest of a noble family. Ei did not want the role, gender or political, which lead to eim running away and becoming a bounty hunter of sorts. Ei are well practiced in traditional Devildom medicine. X visits eir little sister from time to time in secret as ei were disowned by the family. Ei dont care.

Nazari- was left to fill the role her sibling refused to. She's extremely driven but does hold some resentment towards her sibling. She has prophetic dreams, which help her in her decision making. She hasn't told anubody about it yet.

[hematomes]

Saw your tags on my Wriotte art so I'm here to DELIVER

So, this is Wriotte. He's a pyro claymore Fatui member who kinda says fuck off to all the Harbingers and goes to do his own thing. He works under Childe so he can get away with it in exchange for the occasional fight (that Childe has yet to win btw).

He typically goes around collecting information about the different regions he decides to fuck around in, which takes him to Liyue most often. He hangs around Sal Terrae the most because that general area is where he was born.

Mans has beef with Morax and the Adepti. It's ill-placed beef, but beef nonetheless. He loves testing Xiao's abilities, but he tends to keep his messings with Ganyu to the more inconvenient side rather than malicious. He threw Hu Tao off a building once but she thought it was great. She annoys him, but he doesn't see the point in wasting his energy on her. He pissed Xiao off once so badly they fought for several days straight in The Chasm (he told Xiao he wished he was the one who did in Bosacius, because his death was "dishonorable and frankly pathetic"). That fight ended in a stalemate. Everything he does and says to the Adepti is in the hopes of pissing off Zhongli into a full blown war, but so far he's been outta luck.

He knows Venti enough to know he's Barbatos, and also threw a rock at him once with just "THINK FAST BARBATOS!" He did not think fast enough. That got him suspended in a tornado for about a day. He doesn't regret it.

Over time, his maliciousness towards everyone and everything became more of a "Celestia has let me live another day and I'm gonna make it the Traveler's problem <3" so character development at least. He eventually understands his ill-placed feud with Morax and starts becoming less of a danger and more of an inconvenience at best; he and Zhongli even start having tea together occasionally. They do go at it every so often for "old time's sake" in remote areas, but it's less often and at least they don't try to kill each other.

I don't know what to do when it comes to powers much, but I do know his elemental skill is called Chains of Hate and traps enemies in a certain radius in pyro chains, which does pyro damage equal to 25% of his max health per second for about 7 seconds while also keeping the enemies from moving. As for his burst though, I'm thinking of something akin to a volcanic eruption. He's DPS/EM but I think I might make one of his constellations add healing to Chains of Hate, just because I'm tired of all our healers being softer elements like hydro and anemo.

Anyway TLDR: bastard man has beef with a dragon, genuinely thinks he'll win eventually. Like buddy it's been 6000 years and you were dead for 4000 of them.

i was falling in love with him until the chasm thing, 12/10 would try (and fail) to kill him on sight

NO BUT SERIOUSLY NEED HIM AS A WEEKLY BOSS he's an absolute menace, love that for him but yeah. definitely would murder him if given the chance

also his kit is lit

[iwannawritelots]

I posted 6,158 times in 2022

That's 5,708 more posts than 2021!

862 posts created (14%)

5,296 posts reblogged (86%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@cypherleaf

@obeythedemons

@eternallydaydreaming2015

@belphieslilcow

I tagged 4,661 of my posts in 2022

Only 24% of my posts had no tags

#obey me! one master to rule them all - 1,844 posts

#reblog - 1,678 posts

#barbatos🖤 - 566 posts

#iwannawritelots - 261 posts

#ailance - 198 posts

#asmodeus💘 - 181 posts

#lucifer💙 - 174 posts

#lance - 166 posts

#cinna ramble - 166 posts

#darlingficsbycinna - 144 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#i would also do this tbh but i haven’t listened to much latin outside of the hunchback of notre dame stage musical within the past few year

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Obey Me! Babes (and Luke) Correcting Transphobes When They Misgender You❤️

Originally written July 2022

(genderless trans MC)

TW/CW: demons (and angels) being violent, implication of transphobia towards MC

Lucifer💙

gives them a warning correction.

I mean if they’re really stupid enough to continue being an asshole after Lucifer — the fucking MORNING STAR, RIGHT HAND MAN OF LORD DIAVOLO — corrects them on your pronouns then they’re just asking for it

for the moment he just snaps his fingers to curse them into calling you by the correct pronouns. you don’t have to know about the punishment later💙

Mammon💛

passive aggressively interrupting them to correct them.

frowns at you bc he doesn’t wanna be demonic in front of you

gently covers your eyes before scaring them into saying the correct pronouns :3

puts them in debt💛

Leviathan🧡

“Um… um… no, that’s not MC’s pronouns”

keeps trying to get them to say the right pronouns even though he wants to curl up and die bc socializing

finally just snaps and Commander of Hell’s Navy Leviathan™️ shows himself

“SHUT THE FUCK UP.”

cries out of anxiety after the person is gone haha🧡

Satan💚

no warning. Just fucking decks them

he’ll find them again later. For now he’ll insist you don’t worry your little head about it💚

Asmodeus💘

fucking bloodlust Azzy time

tears into them with his words first. If they don’t listen he WILL get violent

truly, how ugly can someone be inside that they can’t be respectful to a trans person’s face!? Disgusting

of course if he decides violence is the answer he’s going to make sure you don’t see his ugly side. There’s no need for that💘

Beelzebub❤️

sad bc why are they being so mean. Maybe they were just genuinely confused

gets angry after correcting them a third time

See the full post

101 notes - Posted July 15, 2022

#4

They Hate Me

Originally written May 2022

Masterlist

Genre: comfort

Ship(s): Lucifer X MC

(genderless MC)

Trigger/content warnings: alcohol, drunkenness

Headcanons/notes from the author: *slaps the top of Lucifer* this bad boy can fit up so many pent up negative emotions in it

Brief Blurb: MC catches Lucifer crying while he’s drunk.

It had been about six hours since you last saw Lucifer, and he hadn’t answered any texts. This wasn’t really unusual since he liked to work himself to death, but you didn’t want to go to bed by yourself again. You missed him snuggling you to sleep, and you swore he didn’t even come to bed last night. With a sigh, you got out of the warmth of the sheets and walked a couple rooms over towards his office. You raised your hand to knock, but froze when you heard a muffled sob.

No one else would be in Lucifer’s office this late, so you knew it had to be him… but you hadn’t really heard him cry before. It wasn’t a pleasant sound, and it made your heart break a little. You didn’t bother to knock, instead opening the door slowly enough that he would notice your presence. “Luci?”

When he didn’t answer, you opened the door fully to examine him. He was sat at his desk, face buried into his hands as sobs wracked through his body. You stepped inside and gently closed the door behind yourself, but didn’t come any closer. There was a bottle of demonus on the desk, and an empty one laying on the floor. You weren’t sure what to do, a little frightened by the situation. You’d never seen him cry before, or completely drunk like this.

You approached him cautiously, feeling a little guilty for treating him like a wild animal. When he still didn’t say anything or move away, you pulled the chair across from him to his side and sat down. “Lucifer, what’s wrong?” you asked gently, pushing some hair out of his face.

“Th-They all hate me…”

Despite knowing exactly who he was talking about, you wanted to make sure. “Who, baby…?”

“M-My brothers…” he muttered. He took a wavering, deep breath, then broke into another harsh sob. “I-I mean… Satan isn’t really my brother… he’s more like a son… but…” Lucifer didn’t dare look at you, keeping his face in his hands as he bawled. “I-I should be used to it. I know they hate me… but I just w-wish they didn’t.”

You carefully ran your fingers through his hair. “Lucifer, I’m sure that isn’t true. They may be a little bit agressive with you, but that’s how it is sometimes with guardians and who they’re caring for.” Lucifer shook his head and wiped his face. “Luci—”

“N-No, they all said they hate me today.” Lucifer sniffled and choked on a sob, attempting to push the tears off of his face. “S-Satan’s the only one who says it regularly, and even wh-when the others say it… it’s… i-it’s not all in one day. I just fucked up s-so much today. I don’t want to keep f-fucking up…” You decided words weren’t going to do much, and rubbed circles on his back instead. “I-I didn’t want to be the avatar of p-pride, or make any of them a lord of s-sin… but… b-but I didn’t know how else to keep them safe…”

Carefully, you pulled him into your arms and allowed him to cry into your chest. “I’ve got you…”

“I-I miss Lilith…” he muttered through his weeping. “I-I miss S-Simeon and Raphael… I miss giving my siblings hugs… I-I miss Satan hugging me… I m-miss… I-I miss…” he trailed off, opting to cry harder instead of speak more. You ran a hand through his hair and hummed to him, hoping it would help him calm down. After a while, he mumbled, “I-I just… I don’t understand why they fell with me… th-they could have stayed…”

“Lucifer…” you cooed, pausing to kiss his temple. “If they chose to fight and fall with you, doesn’t that mean they love you?”

He sniffled and pressed his forehead closer to your neck. “N-Not anymore…”

You hushed him softly and brushed his hair with your fingers still. It seemed to be soothing him ever so slightly. “Lucifer, would they stay in the House of Lamentation with you if they didn’t love you?”

“I-I don’t know…” he whimpered, hiding in you. “I just want them to know I love them…”

Sighing, you shushed him and kissed his hair. “I’m sure they know.”

reblog divider

108 notes - Posted June 12, 2022

#3

Mortality

Originally written May 2022

Ship(s): Mammon X MC

(genderless MC)

(not requested)

Trigger/content warnings: talking about death I guess?

Headcanons/notes from the author: no headcanons are directly used here.

Brief Blurb: Mammon wants to be with MC forever and is thinking about ways to accomplish it.

It was fairly cold in the human world, and Mammon was not at all affected as he walked you down the street. “Why do I have ta wear these warm clothes? It’s not even that cold out.” You sighed and facepalmed with your spare hand, very tired of this complaint. “I mean, look, I know some humans think it’s weird when people walk around in tank tops and shorts for cold weather, but I’m sweatin’ my ass off.” He huffed, then stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, which you quickly corrected by pulling him off to the side.

“Mammon, babe,” you told him, “firstly, don’t stop in the middle of the sidewalk in the city. You should know that.”

“Oh…”

It was difficult to stay frustrated with him when he flustered and made his cute, embarrassed grin. “Secondly… it’s supposed to get really cold. I know you’re naturally a lot warmer since you’re a fallen angel, but odd looks are best avoided in the human world.”

“Ya say that like I haven’t ever been to it on my own…” he mumbled, fumbling with your hand.

Sighing, you watched him use your hand as a stim toy. “You’re right, I’m sorry.” You pulled him closer, then stood on your tip toes to kiss him. “I know you’ve been here millions of times without me. I just worry about you.”

Scoffing and biting back a smile, Mammon cupped your jaw. “Ya don’t have anything to worry about, darlin’. I’m a demon, remember?” You nodded, leaning into his touch slightly. “I… appreciate ya worryin’, though,” he admitted quietly, face flushing red.

“I just…” you sighed and closed your eyes. “I get really scared about drawing too much attention to ourselves.”

“Babe,” he chuckled and ran his fingers through your hair. “There ain’t a thing to worry about. I’m a big, scary demon. I don’t even have to go into demon form to frighten a human, y’know?”

Your face fell a little. “Yeah…”

“_____…? Why the long face?”

“Nothing,” you told him, averting your gaze a little. “Let’s get going, the store might close if we don’t hurry.”

“Shit, yeah.” Mammon pulled you back into the foot traffic, keeping you close to himself. Once you two managed to step into the store, you both pulled your face masks up. You then took his jacket off of his shoulders and draped it over an arm. “Thanks, babe…” he muttered shyly.

Despite taking the jacket off, you could tell he was still entirely too warm from the store’s heating. “I’m sorry, you’re probably miserable from the warmth.”

“It’s fine, don’t worry, _____.” He smiled, and despite only seeing it in his eyes, you felt relief wash over you. “Let’s get a cart.”

“No, we’ll buy too much if we get a cart.” You ignored his pout as you picked up a shopping basket. “This is my money, Mammon.”

“I-I know…” he mumbled, taking the basket from you before grasping your hand once more. “I’m sorry.”

“I never said you needed to be sorry,” you reassured him softly. “I’m not upset.”

You led him to the produce section, then reluctantly let go of his hand to inspect the various fruits and vegetables. “Why’re ya squeezin’ that thing?”

“To make sure it’s a good one.”

After processing what you said, he furrowed his eyebrows and stared intensely at some of the fruit in front of him. He seemed puzzled, and you couldn’t help but giggle. “Do you not check if produce is good before you buy it, babe?”

“W-Well… Lucif—…” he stopped himself, glancing around with only his eyes before continuing. “Luci never really has me buy the groceries, and when I tag along I don’t really pay much attention to whoever is actually doing the shoppin’. I just kinda help carry stuff.”

See the full post

115 notes - Posted May 13, 2022

#2

Obey Me Babes When You Paint Your Nails to Match Theirs

Originally written June 2022

Literally writing this because this is what I do. As a transmasc person who really likes to paint their nails, it makes me feel more comfortable to match the obey me babes lol. I’m sad Simeon, Solomon, and Raphael don’t have painted nails (unless it’s a like… demon culture thing??? Idk. Also Barbatos’ shade of purple is fuckin’ whack I can’t seem to find any that are almost exact like I did with Luci, Asmo, Dia, and Belphie.) I don’t think we’ve seen Mephisto’s nails so he isn’t in this. Thirteen is though!

Lucifer💙

his chest is swelled with so much pride

(It doesn’t even matter if you didn’t do it to match him. He won’t listen lmao)

Finds himself taking off his gloves more often so he can show everyone else who you chose to match nail polish with

very smug about it.

Mammon💛

“Wh—? H-Hey! Stupid human, why did you choose to use that particular nail polish?”

“To… m-match me? W-Well! Of course you’d wanna match the Great Mammon!”

Won’t stop being flustered. His face is hot every time he sees your nails.

Boasts about it when his siblings are being combative lmao

Leviathan🧡

“Wh-Why would you w-w-w-want to match with a yucky otaku like me!?”

Another grim in the “self deprecating comment” jar

It makes him happy and nervous and he doesn’t know how to properly react

Loves looking at your hands and his own while you game and feels all warm inside

Satan💚

flattered tbh

blushies

It probably takes so much restraint to not shove it in Lucifer’s face dhsodhdk

I’m sure he already liked holding your hands but it’ll probably happen more often now lol

Asmodeus💘

SQUEALS

it makes him so happy

asks if you’d want to touch them up with him next time

Hand holding hand holding hand holding hand holding hand holding hand hol

kisses your knuckles and hands more often lmao

“You’re so beautiful, _____.”

See the full post

170 notes - Posted June 16, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I cannot stop thinking about how much I wish they went over more different kinds of lust with Asmodeus. Lust’s definition isn’t strictly sexual, it’s just extreme desire, which Asmo goes over briefly at some point… I just dhskdhdkd bloodlust??? Lust for power? No? He’s just horny? Okay. Fine.

222 notes - Posted August 23, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[pudgy-planets]

I’m gonna say this now...

Funny Gundam Game is infinitely better than O.verwatch 2.

I’m sorry, actually I’m not. It’s a good game. A few... balancing issues, but nothing too glaring that it detracts form the experience. You’ve got units like Gundam Barbatos... and Zaku Ranged... especially Barbatos. It’s good and bad at the same time, like being the melee character in a game full of primarily ranged/mid-range options.

I just hate fighting it.

Once you get used to the controls, the skill ceiling from character to character, and learning to move/navigate... these are MOBILE suits after all, it’s a genuinely fun experience. I highly recommend it. I think this is a situation where the game likely feels better on PC than console, but yeah it’s all good old fashioned fun.

In all seriousness, fuck Barbatos, all my homies hate Barbatos-/j

[redacted-headcannons]

Obey Me 18+ Headcanons: “You’re My Favorite”

Y’all have been warned! 

Scenario: Things they would say after you’ve told them “You’re My Favorite” in a spicy situation.

Lucifer

you’re being railed on his dark cherry wood desk

gripping the edge of the table, you whisper that he’s your favorite

“glad you could be so honest with me, MC”

“but I already knew the truth”

“no, really, say it again” 

“scream it”

“let them know whose your favorite, dove” 

Mammon

there was a morning assembly 

you and mammon snuck off to an empty classroom 

mammon is behind you, chest pressed against your back with two fingers in you

“that’s right, human” 

“I am your favorite”

“Say it again”

“Again”

“Fuck, more more more”

Leviathan 

movie marathon night and its levi’s turn to pick!

all his brothers abandoned bc the series is too long 

your legs are spread on the couch and hes already pumping inside you 

his tail has you by the throat 

“Whose your favorite, MC?” 

“I saw them staring at you, MC, but you’re all mine” 

“Hmmm? I can’t hear you”

“I can still smell them on you and I hate it” 

Satan 

you have his shaft in your mouth in the middle of the library

you’ve been choking but his hands are in your hair, holding you in place

with a sound ‘pop’ your lips come up and you smile while saying, “This is why you’re my favorite, Satan” 

“Oh this?”

“Believe me, we can get much worse than this” 

“I won’t just be your favorite, MC”

“You’ll worship me after I’m done with you” he smirks looking down at you

Asmodeus 

“Now, now, sweetie, tell me again” 

“It’s you, Asmo, you’re my favorite!” You whine into the mattress 

Asmo has you face down, ass up and gleefully he gives your ass a sound ‘smack’ 

“Oh! I’m your favorite” he giggles, eyes shut from the grip you have on his cock

“That’s right, MC, I’m your favorite”

“Because no one, no one, fucks you like I do” 

“And no one ever will” 

Beelzebub

“Do you have a favorite snack, MC?” Beel says while you’re cuddled on his bed 

for a moment you consider answering his question genuinely 

“You are, Beel,” you say while looking up at him 

“Go ahead, give your favorite snack a taste,” he chuckles while pulling his grey joggers down unleashing his shaft 

“Don’t eat too fast, you’ll choke” 

“Hmm, I guess I’m also hungry” 

“Come here,” he growls before pulling you to 69

Belphegor 

he asks the question bluntly 

“Whose your favorite to fuck, MC?” 

Absolutely stunned you stutter out that it’s him

he’s already crawling on top of you, slyly popping open buttons and unzipping zippers on the way up

“Are you sure?”

“Shouldn’t we test it?” 

“I just wanna make sure that it’s true, MC” 

“And if its not, then I’m just going to have to persuade you” 

Diavolo 

he’s sitting upright against a wall as you ride him 

a deep blush crawls against your skin as you tell him that he’s your favorite

“Sweetheart, I already knew that,” he chuckles hot air into your ear biting the lobe after his sentence 

“But, let’s not risk anything, okay? Let’s make sure”

“Look at this, my favorite exchange student just making a mess of themselves just for me” 

“All because I’m your favorite” 

Barbatos 

you’re in the kitchen helping him prepare snacks for the brothers and guests 

“MC, Solomon mentioned that I am your favorite among the demons” he breathes out cautiously 

“that’s because you are, Barbatos!” you say, popping cream into your mouth for a taste test 

suddenly Barbatos is on you, pinning you to the counter and his tongue is swirling the cream in your mouth 

“I’m normally not very adventurous, MC” 

“But as your favorite, I will try to impress” he smirks down at you, his tails snaking their way up your body from under your clothes 

“But do be quiet, MC, we are in the kitchen” 

“Shhh, don’t make me gag you, MC” 

Simeon

“You’re so good, MC” he moans out as you struggle to fit his shaft inside you from your position on top of him

“How very sinful of you, Simeon,” you breathe out, “this is why you’re my favorite”

Something glints in his eyes

The air has changed 

“Let me show you how truly sinful I am” 

“Repent, MC, you’re corrupting an angel” 

“Go on, take all of it and beg for forgiveness” 

have fun on the wheelchair tomorrow <3 

Solomon

you’re already chanting his name in his room 

not because he’s on you but rather because he’s not 

tied up, tears threatening to spill from the corners of your eyes, and a toy jammed roughly in you 

“Who makes you feel like this?” 

“Who owns you?” 

“Whose your favorite?”

out of spite, you reply, “Asmodeus” 

the toy shuts off and you know you’ve done it now

[meltedicescream]

Obey Me Bois with an Mc who has No Self Preservation

eyyy im back with my dumbassary

Spoilers for 15-16-17

tw//death, drowning, etc

Tags: Angst

Lucifer

Poor man is loosing any sleep he was getting because of you

He's had to stop you from fighting all of his brothers multiple times because you tried to fight them

He's also had to stop himself from fighting you

This man has caught you telling a lower level demon "do it pussy" because that demon told its friend it would eat you, and he had to immediately pick you up under your arms like a misbehaving cat

He's picked you up like this multiple times

He's genuinely thought about keeping you on a leash because of how often you have strayed away from the group and almost fucking died

Mammon

Loves joining you in almost falling off of a cliff on accident because you thought nothing bad could happen

Actually he doesn't.

He has mini panic attacks when he can't find you

He'll occasionally pick you up when he realizes that you're in a dangerous area

Has caught you before you told a random, really buff demon to fight you, apologizing to the demon profusely while holding you under his arm

He has also thought about keeping you on a leash

He says he doesn't care about you but he's the main reason you don't almost die

Leviathan

This fucker didn't care until he took you to an anime convention and told a very buff cosplayer to fight you

He kind of relates it to an anime character he likes

He's caught you from straight up just diving into his fish tank because you thought you could swim all the way to the bottom, but he knew you would drown

Keeps you in his room most of the time and always keeps an eye on you

He won't let you leave his sight, he doesn't want his best friend dying!

He loves keeping you distracted from fighting someone with viceogames

Satan

Oh boy do you make him angry

One time while you were in his room he had to catch you before you could fall because you had climbed onto a pile of books to reach a book you thought looked interesting

He scolded you so bad

He has to keep an eye on you while your in his room

And when your in the kitchen he has to be at the door to keep you from accidentally poisoning yourself

He hates your guts

But he would hate it even more if you died or accidentally hurt yourself

He has kept you on a leash, at least until Asmo said somethin about it to him

He hates asmo now because thats all he can think about now

Asmodeus

He almost screamed when he saw you on the kitchen counter just so you could reach something on the top shelf

He of course quickly ran over and caught you when you fell

You get scoldings every time he sees you doing something stupid

Sometimes he has to charm lower level demons so they won't actually fight you

He swears up and down he's getting stress acne because of you, but even without makeup he has no pimples in sight

Poor man looses his beauty sleep because of you

Beelzebub

Don't worry, he's got you under control

He simply picks you up if you ever start climbing on counters or trying to fight someone

He's never taken care of someone so short before so its really new to him

But he'll gladly carry you around if it means you won't accidentally fall off a counter and hurt yourself or actually get into a fight

He's done this with Mammon (short king) before, when they were younger, picking up Mammon so he wouldn't get into fights over debt

Even if you're just standing on the coffee table to be eye to eye with one of the brothers, he'll still pick you up to make sure you don't get hurt

Belphegor

heres where the spoilers are oh boy

He never expected a human, something so fragile it could die from just one stab, would be so bold as to stand on a counter to reach a mixing bowl

If it hadn't been for Asmo you would have died again because he wasn't fast enough

And when he was intentionally killing you, he didn't expect you not to fight back, you had simply thought the other brothers would come and save you, but you were sadly killed. BUT YOU LIVED!

He's the reason Beel is like a helicopter parent for you

He asked Beel to keep a close eye on you so you wouldn't fucking die any time you got close to a ledge

He doesn't want to lose you, he cares too much! And he hasn't had as much time with you as his older brothers have had

no more spoilers, dear

Diavolo

Because of his princely duties he didn't notice you climbing onto his desk to get his attention, but he looked up right as you fell, swiftly catching you

You get many a scolding from him, but he feels bad about it so he gives you candy, too

He's asked Barbatos to keep an eye on you, but it seems he can't keep control of you without being right next to you at all times

Poor guy is stressed because of you!

He got one of those dog harnesses for you so he could simply tie you to a table with a leash so you wouldn't climb on something you weren't supposed to

And the amount of times he's heard of you almost getting into fights is astronomical

He genuinely thinks he has to keep one eye open just to make sure you aren't climbing through his bedroom window

Barbatos

Due to him being able to see into the future he can easily control you

Buuuut that doesn't mean he hasn't ran into rooms really fast for some close calls

He was wiping down the dining room table due to Diavolo accidentally spilling something when he suddenly dashed into the kitchen. You had been planning on making some cake for the demon prince but you couldn't quite reach the flour so you climbed onto the counter, only to slip. And in the nick of time, Barbatos ran in and caught you right before you hit the ground

He already has enough on his plate, but he's still very willing to take care of you

He's in a group chat with all of the brothers just so he can send a quick text of "mc's about to walk into the basement, grab them before Cerberus does"

Solomon

Wizard bitch tried to use magic on you to keep you from almost dying all the time because you think you can't die

Since magic doesn't seem to stop you, he uses it to catch you or block you from something

He also used his pact with barbatos to his advantage when it comes to you

He doesn't care all that much though, just as long as you don't die

One time he had to physically catch you because you were a dumbass and decided to do a trust fall off of the dining room table in Purgatory Hall

Simeon

So he had two children to take care of?

He's always holding your hand no matter what as if you were a toddler so you can't run off and almost die

He has went into his full angel form just to catch you before you could slip off of something

He doesn't trust you with anything sharp so he doesn't allow you in the kitchen

He won't let you around anything dangerous out of fear of you hurting yourself

He fucking started crying when you simply slipped in a puddle and scraped your knee. Humans are so fragile and he thought you were going to die!

Luke

The baby can't do anything when you almost die so like theres nothing here lmao

[house-of-laminations]

I am begging you to stop the crypto headcanons I cant lose them to the crypto bros please

Whats that? More crypto headcanons? Well if you insist

The Cursed Obey Me Crypto Headcanons

I know I said before that Mammon isn't a crypto bro but it's a little more complex than that. He was one of the really early adopters, but when he realized that there was no actual equity/meaningful wealth to be gained, he dropped it as a single-source income.

However. The Avatar of Greed is very good at understanding economic systems that encourage and function on clear divides in wealth and access. Mammon has the best understanding of cryptocurrencies as, well, currency, but not necessarily the technology behind it.

That's where NFTs come in. He created a series of TSL NFTs (NFTSLs) but kept the single Henry one to himself, never selling it to artificially inflate the value of the series as a whole. Never let it be said that Mammon isn't down for a good scam.

Now Levi isn't just into cryptocurrencies for the NFTs (though that's certainly a big part). A large part of why people flock to cryptocurrency is because of a level of economic anxiety, and in some cases, envy. After all, why can't you be rich too? How dare these systems be used against you - why can't you be the one on top?

You can bet Levi has an addictive love-hate relationship with NFTs. He has to own - they're unique! Nothing sets him off more knowing that someone out there has the single Henry NFTSL ever made. He's also one of those 'You hate it because you dont get it' types. Despite the fact that Levi himself doesn't really get it.

Satan understands the technology behind blockchain, crypto, and NFTs better than Levi, and possibly even Mammon. He's not an adopter himself but he's surrounded by acquaintances who are and deliberately baits them into debates about the downfalls of crypto.

Asmo doesn't really care about crypto either - in fact he can't seem to grasp why you would want to limit ownership of his beautiful images to one person. That being said, he does work with Mammon occasionally to come up with new scams. It was his suggestion to make a series based on images of Lucifer

Neither Beel or Belphie at any point were into crypto. Beel didn't care to learn to understand it and Belphie just didn't care period.

A demon once approached Diavolo about the possibility of accepting DevilCoin alongside grimm in Devildom businesses. When asking Barbatos-who-can-see-the-future his advice, the butler's response was, verbatim: "Do not fucking do this." And so Diavolo never entertains the idea again. Barbatos has never scared him more.

Simeon does not and cannot understand blockchain. or cryptocurrencies. An enthusiastic crypto-demon tried to explain it to him once but then Diavolo outlawed any subsequent attempts once it became clear that that conversation drove the demon literally insane. Its not clear if Simeon is faking to mess with people or if he's genuinely that confused by it

I don't know anything about Mephistopheles except that he has the vibe of a crypto bro. idk how or why. But I say he is and you can't change my mind.

Solomon understands but he is so uninterested by the concept as a whole that nothing you could say to him would excite him enough to invest.

Lucifer only put a stop to all this crypto nonsense when it inconvenienced him personally. This happened because Asmo and Mammon were trying to take photos of his fangs during breakfast one day to make a new series called NFTeefies.

[favoniuscodex]

soft deception. [diluc x reader]

pairing: diluc x f!reader prompt: you love your boyfriend, you really do. he’s just so, so trusting in you that you can’t help but to trick him every now and then. (alternatively: you give diluc the world’s ugliest onesie as a christmas present and now that it’s all over, you want to go back in time and punch yourself in the face for unleashing this curse within your household.) word count: ~2.5k warnings/genres: humor, fluff, sfw but like... adult jokes at some points a/n: purely self indulgent, nobody requested this, tried out a bit of a different writing style. i wrote this to try to cheer myself up, so hopefully it makes you all happy! no beta reader though (but i never have one anyways)

You had a tendency to think of yourself as the funniest person in Teyvat at times.

Especially when you had Mondstadt’s most gullible eligible bachelor wrapped around your finger, desiring to cater to your every whim. Sure, the two of you were like two young teenagers in love despite being much older, to the point where it was a mental workout to restrain yourself from leaving purple and blue marks all along his neck, desiring to hear praises stutter on his lips as you show the man the love he has lacked over the years. It didn’t help that he also had those cherry-colored eyes that pierced into you, the only eyes to ever truly see you for you. In your humble opinion, the best part about Diluc Ragnvindr is neither his wisdom nor his love, but his ass.

Unsure if Barbatos is actually able to listen into your thoughts or not due to Venti’s uncanny capability to make jokes about thoughts you know you have never uttered aloud whenever Diluc turns his back to the two of you at the bar, you quickly rectify your thoughts and mumble an apology to the potentially omniscient alcoholic bard. 

The best part about Diluc Ragnvindr lies within his ass... umptions. His assumptions, specifically about the inherent truthfulness he believed to be in your statements. Your boyfriend, as much as you loved him, is an extremely gullible man. Such a fact is even written on the ceilings of every room, but it never hurts to double-check. If you are Teyvat’s jester, then Diluc is Teyvat’s fool, but he is a fool in love. 

The calculated, reserved man only lets himself be duped by you. No matter how many times you trick him, he’ll listen to your exaggerated claims and boisterous words with widened eyes, immediately trusting your words as he trusts you wholeheartedly.

You thrive in such an environment, manipulating Diluc to your liking. Not in a bad way of course, as the thought of hurting even a single hair on his head makes your stomach churn and nausea arise. Rather, you find amusement in tricking him with subtle sleights of the hand and little white lies, before revealing your cards at the end of every show and reveling in his flustered nature. You long not to hurt Diluc, but you relish in the way his milky skin turns to a rosy pink upon realizing your deception. 

In simpler terms, you love to prank your red-haired, stoic boyfriend in order to see the shy smile and bashful eyes that accompany his revelations of your actions. 

Being the funniest, sexiest woman in Teyvat with the most attractive, most trusting boyfriend in all of Mondstadt leads to raucous laughter on your behalf and flushed cheeks on your boyfriend’s behalf during many nights within your shared home. With Diluc’s confidence in you, you are unstoppable.

Such arrogance had a tendency to bite you in the ass. 

Especially now. Right now. You’ve never regretted duping Diluc more than you do at this moment. For Christmas, you had given him two presents, his actual present and one designed to be a joke. Diluc, bless his heart, had not interpreted such a present to be no more than a simple gag and had politely smiled at you as he held the gift up, inspecting it with poorly disguised distaste in his eyes. The gift in question was a pajama onesie you had found within the clearance section of some decaying Mondstadt boutique, but these weren’t just any pajamas. It was the ugliest piece of clothing you had ever seen.

The offending onesie glints in the light of the fireplace that illuminates Diluc’s face and your poor excuse at a poker face as he analyzes his gift. It is decorated with a variety of misshapen owls, feathers formed by multicolored, poorly sewn sequins. Each owl has two octagonal, almost glowing, gaudy amber-colored rhinestones for eyes, yet each rhinestone is a slightly different shade from the others, as if they had been left out in the sun, forgotten about. A santa hat is perched on the heads of each owl and a candy cane is loosely held in at least one wing of each owl. The onesie even has built-in feet, with owl-shaped grips on the bottom that barely cling on for life in a failed attempt to provide the user traction. Diluc quickly attaches to such a concept and tries to use it as an out.

“It’s… lovely,” He finally manages, doing his best to keep his voice even as he smiles at you. You can see the pain in his eyes. “But I do not believe the feet will fit me.”

You widen your eyes in sadness and bat your eyelashes at him innocently, as if such a sentiment truly wounded you. “Can you hire a tailor to fix them? I spent a lot of time picking out this gift and I think it’s perfect.”

Diluc’s smile breaks and horror creeps into his eyes upon realizing there’s no way out of the predicament he’s currently in. As he breaks his intense ogling of the onesie to look at you, his faux smile is plastered once again on his face. It doesn’t reach his eyes and it wavers, but you simply give him a cheery grin in response.

“Of course, dear,” Diluc responds, albeit a bit despondently. Your heart twists a bit and- no, no. Guilt is not allowed in the heart of a true comedian. “Anything for you.” His eyes are empty as his smile slowly drops into a thin line. Your expression of glee is a sharp contrast.

“Yay!” You giggle and clap your hands together once as you pop up from your seated position. Diluc’s woeful expression alleviates upon seeing your seemingly genuine reaction and he manages a small smile once more, this one a bit more genuine. “C’mon! Let’s try it on!”

After wearing it the rest of Christmas night, Diluc not only wears it past the reasonable date to keep wearing Christmas merchandise after Christmas is over, but he wears it multiple times per week. You know he’s only doing it to see your fit of giggles every time he does so and that Diluc wants nothing more than to see you happy, but you’re beginning to hate yourself for such a gift. 

The inklings of self-hatred explode into full self-loathing when Diluc reveals he found an identical onesie while shopping and that he purchased it in order to be able to wear around the house more often. You have to hold yourself back from narrowing your eyes at him as he holds up the offending, nearly identical onesie, albeit in a different color. Unlike you, Diluc isn’t a bully. There’s absolutely no way he’s joking right now. Maybe. You aren’t sure.

The end of January rolls around and you’re ready to wrestle Diluc for his Pyro vision and burn these damn onesies yourself. Every time Diluc joins you in bed, ready to clock in for the night, he’s wearing the archonsforsaken Christmas outfit despite Valentine’s Day rapidly approaching. If you wear a cute outfit and lie on the bed, hoping for Diluc’s attention? You’ll certainly get it, but there’s more than just his eyes watching you. There are the artificial eyes of the owls watching the two of you, their beady little rhinestones judging you for your premarital sins. Whenever you reach out to stroke his arm or thigh reassuringly, you’re met with the feeling of cheap flannel and pilled fabrics.

Unfortunately for Diluc, Kaeya is your hero in this situation as he arrives to Dawn Winery unannounced and interrupts you and Diluc reading in bed together. The cavalry captain hadn’t even bothered to knock, swinging the door open with zero fear of what he might have found inside. But, upon seeing the two of you, Kaeya freezes.

“What the hell is that?” Kaeya nearly screeches in horror, pointing at Diluc.

“I’m sure you know what Diluc looks like, Kaeya,” You respond in an annoyed tone. You loved Adelinde, but why had she let Kaeya up to your and Diluc’s chambers without any warning is beyond your comprehension. “You only have one eyepatch, not two.”

Diluc does a poor job at stifling a chuckle next to you, his book now resting on the nightstand next to him due to the intrusion. He wordlessly sneaks an arm around your waist and you lean into his chest instinctively, trying your best to ignore the scratch of the sequins against your cheek.

“No, not that,” Kaeya says, unperturbed at your slight against him. “That! That thing he’s wearing! It’s awful!” His finger shakes in the air before the blue-haired man doubles over in laughter. “That’s the ugliest thing I’ve ever fucking seen, holy shit.”

You look up at Diluc, who is flushed a deep crimson in embarrassment and whose brows are furrowed.

“I must admit,” Diluc clears his throat, voice diffident. “It has grown on me.”

Your heart melts at his confession and you scoot up a bit in his grasp, causing him to look at you in confusion before you press a reassuring kiss to his cheek. Adoration swims in his irises as he looks at you and softly smiles, forgetting about Kaeya’s presence despite his brother’s noisy, ceaseless laughter. Sure, the onesie might be a joke that you want to throw into a fire and pray that it burns in the pits of hell for eternity, but Diluc’s defense of your present in the face of Kaeya’s mockery warms even your cold prankster heart.

“Diluc,” You whisper lowly, not wanting Kaeya to hear. It was unlikely he would anyways, as every time he looked up at the two of you in the bed in front of him, Kaeya would burst out into peals of laughter once more. “Where’s the other onesie?”

Diluc looks at you, confused. “It’s in the laundry room. It should be dry now.” Before Diluc can ask you why you need to know such information, you’re breaking free of his grip, stumbling out of the bed, shoving past Kaeya and nearly sprinting out of the room in a hurry. Kaeya and Diluc both watch you leave, equally bewildered.

“Why are you here?” You hear Diluc ask his brother as you flee the room, but you don’t stick around for the rest of their conversation. They can be emotionally constipated together, you have more important things to do. Seizing the freshly-cleaned onesie, you shut the laundry door and shimmy it over your current pajamas, one of Diluc’s old shirts and a pair of old shorts. You have to hop around a bit to get the fabric to settle in just the right places and, dear Barbatos, this thing is uncomfortable. 

Diluc must really love you to put up with this outfit every night. Before you can melt into a puddle of goo at the thought of your essentially perfect boyfriend who would do nearly anything for you, you storm out of the laundry room and back into the bedroom, climbing back into bed with Diluc wordlessly, settling your legs underneath the covers and guiding Diluc’s arm back to its rightful place around your waist.

You press another kiss to Diluc’s cheek as he stares at you with an unreadable expression. Despite having recovered from his earlier flustered state, his cheeks quickly return to the shade of red you adore so much. Unfortunately for you, you didn’t stick on this onesie just to shamelessly ogle your boyfriend and kiss him senseless. No, you wore it to spite the man in front of the two of you, whose expression is now morphed into one of horror.

“There’s two of them?! One was already a crime against humanity, but two?!” Kaeya is aghast at such a concept. Diluc’s gaze breaks off you and he tightens his grip around your waist as he glowers at his brother.

“We have a third one if you wish to continue intruding in our home,” Diluc proposes, his voice having a slight edge to it. Kaeya holds his hands up later.

“Alright. I’ll see you later then. Bye, (Y/N)~!” Kaeya quickly ejects himself from the conversation, not even bothering to spare his brother a goodbye in his hurry to leave before a onesie can be thrust upon you.

“You look adorable,” Diluc confesses before pressing a kiss to your forehead. This time, it’s your turn to fluster and you look away, startled by his forwardness. “I always like seeing you in my clothes.”

“Oh… thank you,” You murmur sheepishly, but Diluc grabs your chin and lightly guides your face to look at him. A shiteating grin breaks out across his face.

“I appreciate your support, darling, but isn’t it time we stop this ruse?” Diluc questions and your eyes widen in surprise. “Unfortunately, my brother is correct. These outfits are quite… awful.”

“I like them!” You interject, unsure as to why you’re defending the outfits you had just been wishing for the destruction of.

“Is that so?” Diluc challenges, eyebrows raised as you nod your head furiously. A soft chuckle escapes his lips. “(Y/N), I know I might be dumb at times, especially when it comes to you, but surely you can’t think I’m dumb enough to believe this lie.”

You narrow your eyes at him and fold your arms in contempt. “There is no way you’ve called my bluff this early. Kaeya told you I was fucking with you, didn’t he?”

Diluc’s smug attitude is replaced with that of a scolded puppy, unable to look you in the eyes. “... Yes.”

You can’t help but press yet another kiss to his face, this time gracing his jaw as you pepper light kisses down his neck. “You’re correct. I absolutely loathe these ugly clothes. It’s not even Christmas anymore. But I’d be damned if I was going to let that gremlin insult something of yours.”

Diluc laughs genuinely and he brings your face close to his, pressing your lips together in a sweet, chaste kiss, before pulling away far too soon for your liking.

“Sorry to interrupt, but I should probably change now that the joke is over,” Diluc explains. You raise your eyebrows at him and he lets out a sigh. “The fabric is itchy.” Your boyfriend clambers out of bed and you unabashedly watch him change into a more comfortable outfit, admiring the way his lithe muscles move as he puts on a new shirt. Diluc turns around and looks at you expectantly.

“Aren’t you going to change too?” He asks as he climbs back under the covers with you, but you softly smile and shake your head in response. 

“No,” You coo. “I think it’ll stay on for tonight.” You wrap your arms around his waist, nuzzling into his shoulder exaggeratedly.

Diluc groans at your words and you realize he shares the same hatred of the onesies that you do. But, as Diluc’s chief prankster, you’re determined to get the last laugh, even if the dumb fabric scratches against you all night.