#based on that one scene from maximum

[chai-likes-tea]

vashwood charm wip

back design below the cut - (MAXIMUM SPOILERS)

[vrronica-sawyer]

On the job 🏃‍♀️

[sexybritishllama]

in further neopets discord news, oh boy is there drama in my awful virtual pet game website today. strap in if you want way too much information on neopets’ broken economy

for some context, an event has just launched called the faerie festival. this is the first event to be run by the ‘new’ TNT (aka. the neopets team aka. the staff) since the leadership change, and they've said in recent editorials that this year’s faerie festival is going to be a combo of two previous popular events:

the faerie quest event, wherein people can get a free quest from a faerie every day in exchange for a reward (something that’s normally limited to random special events and therefore quite rare)

the charity corner, a highly requested event that hasn’t run since 2020, where you can donate random items to get points that can then be exchanged in a prize shop

there’s a LOT of ultimately worthless items on neopets that people gather from doing dailies and things, but charity corner actually gave a use to hoarding all of these, so people have wanted it back for ages. people have been going out of their way to hoard extra junk items for like 2 months now, after TNT teased the event in an editorial

this event was originally meant to start on 20th august, but got delayed 2 weeks, presumably because of issues behind the scenes. people were generally a bit disappointed but relieved if this meant they were going to get a proper, well prepared event without bugs

flash forward to 2nd october, the actual start of the event. nothing actually opens up for several hours on the day- that’s somewhat waved off by the fact that staff presumably need to be in the office to launch everything, a midnight launch isn’t expected

but, eventually, it opens!

well… kinda. there’s one page with one dialogue scene available and a link to an event page for spending neocash (the premium currency that costs irl money). the faerie quest page is giving out free daily quests, which is nice, but literally just the same as they did back in 2020. where’s the item recycling part? did this really need 2 weeks of delay?

the next day, the FAQ page for the event is published neopets support site (but not announced via news). still no sign of the actual event starting- seems like that might not be until moday?

as well as multiple grammatical errors, the FAQ had a few… concerning elements. most notably:

only 10 items could be donated per day

points would be awarded based on the rarity of the item, with the maximum rarity being r200-500, worth 15 points each

this meant people's hoarding of junk items for months was... essentially useless

r200-500 items basically means either hidden tower items (rare, expensive items that can only be bought in an account age locked shop with a purchase limit of 1 per day) orrrr….. neocash items. In other words, players could either spend an exorbinate amount of their in-game currency to buy up items to donate, or they could just hand over their credit card and pay to win

people were Not Happy about this

not long after info spread and the outcry started (and a sizeable number of people cancelled their premium membership in protest), the FAQ was quietly updated to remove mention of donating neocash items. that took away to pay to win element at least

however, now there was a new problem. a tombola man problem.

i mentioned already that the highest rarity items are pretty rare and expensive. one of the least expensive of these is an item called the Squeezy Tombola Guy Toy. you can probably see where this is going already

because you can only buy a maximum of one tombola guy per day from the hidden tower, your only option if you want to buy more than that in a day is to go to user shops. however, in light of the event, people had already started buying and hoarding tombola guy toys. equally, others were buying them purely to sell at a profit. this made the perfect storm and caused the price of the tombola guy toy, which was normally 110k NP, to explode up to 500k, 600k, even 700k within just one day

BUT THEN THE FAQ GOT UPDATED AGAIN. surprise, you can now donate 30 items per day! also they just got rid of the highest rarity tier altogether. the maximum you can get for an item is now 8 points, for rarity r102-r179.

this has now made the squeezy tombola guy toys useless. unless you’re a collector they don’t serve any function beyond that of a normal neopets toy (of which there’s thousands of much cheaper options). the price has now plummeted down to BELOW what it originally was and many users now have piles and piles of the dolls sitting in their inventory, mocking them

so what now? well, because no one ever learns, everyone is now flocking to what is now the cheapest high-rarity item eligible for donation. most are going for omelettes, which have a few different options at r102+. these have also inflated by like 400% from before the event, but unlike the squeeze tombola guys, these are only worth a few thousand neopoints, so not as bad a potential loss in comparison

it’s worth noting that while all this is going on in preparation for the recycling event, neopets is also experiencing insane inflation in a lot of other items right now, including those required for people to complete faerie quests. for example, a Griefer, which cost 5000 np just last week, is now worth selling for 1 MILLION

So yeah. 3 days into the event and that’s where we are so far. who knows what tomorrow might bring

[vidavalor]

Crowley and Plosives

@kimberleyjean asked in my recent post on rings and apostrophes why it is that I think Crowley pops the consonants of words at times, as in "BooK. shoP", and if there is a technical term for what he is doing. There is.

Let's talk about Crowley's exaggerated plosive sounds--as well as his little "mmm" thing-- and what this all probably has to do with his hiss.

In order to talk about why it likely is that Crowley pops specific consonants when he speaks-- with it being more pronounced at certain times than at other times-- we first actually have to talk about his hiss.

Crowley's hiss is less of a separate sound and more of a slur of what's known as a sibilant sound in phonology-- it's the sound of the letter s or the letters sh. If you say the word "sash" aloud, you're using sibilant sounds twice over-- once at the start and once at the end of the word. While Crowley could probably just hiss like a snake when he's in human form, we never actually hear him do that. We hear a hissing sound manifest in his sibilant sound when he is speaking-- which is to say when he's being a human over a snake. The same is true of Lord Beezlebub, whose fly buzz sound affects their speech. In their case, their sibilant sounds turn into the letter z to mimic a fly (as in, "It izzzzz written" on the tarmac in Tadfield in S1).

Sibilant sounds are part of a group of sounds known as fricatives, which are all softer in sound. They are grouped together based on how your mouth and throat move in forming the sounds and how much air is needed to move through them and in what way to say them. The letters k, p, t-- and sometimes d, b and g, depending on the word and the position of the letter in the word-- are "hard" sounds and are known as plosives. These are the sounds that Crowley tends to pop or to which he gives exaggerated emphasis in his speech. My theory as to why is basically that David Tennant decided that Crowley would feel the hiss is weak and react to it by popping his plosives to seem more intimidating, which really does go along with Crowley's psychology well.

Crowley's hiss is a feature of what of him is a snake and, as a result, will show up in the times that a snake would hiss. That means the slurred sibilant sounds show up primarily in situations in which he feels a sense of vulnerability. Snakes hiss when they're stressed or under duress and they hiss if you try to interact with them while they are digesting a big meal. In demon snake terms lol, it means Crowley is most likely to hiss in exactly the moment he does not want to (when he's anxious or afraid, which is usually when around other demons or angels). He probably cares a bit less about slurring sibilant sounds around Aziraphale after a big meal--or a "big meal"-- and Aziraphale actually probably likes it a bit as it's his life goal to keep that snake blissssssed out but the hissing around other people thing?

Crowley hates it. He haaaaaaates it. There is evidence of Crowley hating the slurred sibilants in a few scenes.

One is that when he shapeshifts into a monstrous snake to scare the guy at Tadfield Manor in S1, Crowley doesn't hiss at him-- he roars. Like a lion. (Lions are also on the arms and legs of his reason-for-therapy-alone throne chair in S1.) And this is his reaction when he makes the guy faint from fright:

He loves it. Ah, control...

Because Crowley is a lot of things, really-- he's a snake, yeah, but he's a big cat, he's a crow, he's a nightingale, he's a black swan, he's a horse... we could go on. To control the hiss when he wants to is to feel in control of himself.

We all know how much Crowley seeks as maximum control over how he's perceived by others as he's capable of generating. It's a normal response to all the trauma he's suffered. It's probably worth considering as well that Satan's attacks on Crowley render him incapable of controlling his own mind and body for the duration of the assault. He doesn't have the option to speak or, if he does, the words aren't his own. These are bodily autonomy violation issues and the result is that Crowley hates anything that makes him feel weak and the fact that he has in the hiss what amounts to a nervous tic that is a symptom of his anxiety disorder makes him feel out of control of himself.

Another example of him hating the hiss is when he intentionally slurs the sibilant s sound while mocking Heaven:

Crowley is not just talking about composers in this scene in general but using first-class composers as innuendo for sexual partners and mocking Aziraphale's potential choices if he gets stuck in Heaven for all of eternity. He does so by combining soft fricatives and his slurred sibilant hiss, showing how he equates the hiss with a sense of what he considers weak and unattractive.

The other scene that suggests this-- and shows how Crowley pops his plosives as a counter to the hiss-- is actually the end of the apology dance, when Crowley pops a t so hard, it's almost its own word: "You were righTTTTTT."

The apology dance scene and its hard T as the final note of the mock-submissive dance also makes it clear that, unsurprisingly, Aziraphale knows what the popped plosives are all about. Plosives are, well, explosive. They have harder, louder, more dramatic sounds. It seems like Crowley pops them both as a measure to counter his hiss and as a measure to try to control it. He's taught himself to respond verbally with intensive plosive popping instead of hissing, which is also why we don't actually hear him hiss all that often.

One of the only times is almost immediately after this:

Because saints and demons preserve us, it's Master Crowley, right? But then Satanic Nun!Nina interrupts them and Crowley starts slurring his sibilant sounds in sarcastic response to Aziraphale telling him that he didn't need to put the woman in a trance.

"Oh, oh, 'xcccussse me, ma'am, we're two supernatural entities looking for the notorioussss SSSSSon of SSSSSatan. Wonder if you might help us with our inquiries?'" How he controls the sentence, though, is really interesting. The extra-exaggerated sarcasm of the last sentence helps him regain control enough that the final 's' in 'inquiries' isn't hissed and he's back in control of it. He's also almost amping up the sibilant sounds he does slur sarcastically as well. Part of why it comes out here is that he allows himself to be less guarded with his speech in front of Aziraphale.

We've actually only heard him hiss his sibilant sounds about three times, if memory serves me correctly, and two of them are related to Heaven and Hell-- the two moments I mentioned above. They're examples of him trying to control-- and then sarcastically wield-- the hiss. (Particularly "celestial harmonies", which he did entirely intentionally.)

There's also one more positive instance of a sibilant slur though and that's this: "Yessssss, the 'Reign of Terror.'"

The long hiss of a "yesssss" in this scene is not one that bothers him because drawing out a sibilant sound during a sexy conversation with Aziraphale is a very different situation than one about or involving Heaven or Hell.

If you look back on the series, there are probably no more popped plosives than in Crowley trying to ascertain just wtf Gabriel is doing in the bookshop wearing nothing but their tartan bedsheet.

"WHaT. Arrre. You. DO. ING. In. THis. BooK. ShhhOP?" 😂

Crowley was literally terrified (and also losing it internally because he just jumped and basically screamed at the sight of Gabriel) and there's a very brief "shhhh" in "bookshop" that starts to slur and has him practically shouting the "OP" to finish the word without full-on hissing. It's a scene built around the plosives, really.

Gabriel probably understands Crowley's manner of speaking more than "Jim" did in this moment as Gabriel has his own affected way of speaking. His defensive speech has the same need for a sense of maintaining an appearance of control and dominance but is usually less about emphasizing plosives and more about conveying a sense of power through a perceived sense of "manliness" in a smug, corporate sort of way. The way he says "but as The Almighty likes to say: 'Climb Every Mountain'" in that 'CEO saying the bullshit company slogan to a junior employee at the company retreat' sort of way.

Gabriel usually uses intimidation through lower, more frighteningly measured tones that carry the sense that if you pissed him off, he would explode and it would not be pretty for you. It's what makes the moment when he does actually a bit shocking and that's when you hear the force come out in his speech a bit.

He pops plosives in the curse and owns the 'fucking' in that sentence as a result. That is top shelf use of a curse word, in that it's selective enough and pronounced in such a way as to give it real power. You know he's going to lose this round because he can't win it but you're still kind of afraid of him-- maybe for the first time.

But Jim? Jim has none of this.

Jim is a guileless lovebug who doesn't understand why Crowley would feel the need to speak-shout at him and pause dramatically so his "I. AM. DUSTING." response is priceless. Jim over-emphasizes all of the sounds because he doesn't know why Crowley only emphasizes the plosives and he pauses dramatically between the words more out of confused repetition of Crowley's speech pattern to try to relate to Crowley than out of understanding that it was meant to intimidate him. He uses the same sense of theatre that Crowley uses without any context as to why Crowley feels like he has to and, as a result, it guts Crowley's whole attempt to intimidate him to compensate for his own feelings of vulnerability.

Crowley and Aziraphale both are fascinated by words and the evolution of language and they speak every language in the world. This means that they both have the ability, in theory, to correctly speak in any accent in the world, which is necessary to be able to pronounce the words in every language. Between that and his self-conscious, trauma-adjacent, plosive/fricative issues, as well as just being interested in how things like pronunciation informs the evolution of language, Crowley is more aware than most of how he sounds when he speaks.

But there's also that his unique way of speaking-- when combined with his low, rumbly voice-- can be very sexy and he's aware of it, namely because it's clear that Aziraphale thinks his sounds-- all his sounds, along the full spectrum of them-- are hot. As a result, we also have scenes in the series wherein Crowley will sometimes heavily emphasize plosives-- and fricatives-- around Aziraphale just for fun because to do so has become a part of how he speaks and because the angel likes it. An example: the "lotsss of GooD DeeDsssss" bit of this:

That Aziraphale likes the full range of Crowley sounds is symbolic of the fact that Aziraphale likes the full range of Crowley, full stop. As a result, Crowley plays around with how he enunciates words, often drawing out parts of them in ways he knows Aziraphale will enjoy. His "oo" and "ou" sounds are often elongated into an "oooh"; he softens fricatives to a breath at times when speaking more gently. At other times, he amps up his RP accent and emphasizes certain words in a sentence with pauses and heavier enunciation ("canopy", "astonish") to maximize their appeal and to draw Aziraphale's attention to them, usually also for wordplay-related reasons ("did you smite them with your wrath?" in Lockdown, for example.)

Then, there is that part of their language thing also appears to be an interest in onomatopoeia, which are words that have derived in language not from a connection to other, previously-existing words but from the sounds of Earth. Crowley, in particular, loves onomatopoeia, and likes to weave words that are that into his conversation-- "frou frou", "whoop", etc.. The word "hiss" is onomatopoeia. Unlike other etymology posts I have written or will write, there is no "derived from the Old French x" or "from the Latin x" or the like for the history of "hiss"-- it's just literally that people heard a snake hissing and said that sounds like "hssss" and so we're going to call it a "hiss."

While Crowley has issues with his anxious snake hiss, though, he actively likes to make the pleasurable sound the humans (and angels and demons) can make-- the ultimate in onomatopoeia. The word that is actually more his anti-hiss than his popped plosives:

"Mmm."

"Mmm" is derived from nothing more than the human sound of contentment. It's an often almost involuntarily hum of pleasure-- the human sound of satiation. There is no other history to the word but that and there has not been since beings began to exist.

Crowley makes the sound unconsciously but he also makes it consciously at times when speaking with Aziraphale because he knows Aziraphale likes the sound of it. Case in point: the very obviously intentional "mmm" in the Edinburgh phone call (and the heavy, exaggerated plosives emphasis on what followed it):

"Mmm" is also something of an etymology joke as well because, at last count, I think I had at least twenty-five instances in a note file here about intentional wordplay between Crowley and Aziraphale that focuses on frequently confused words and phrases (to founder vs. to flounder; whoop vs. whoomp; wittering vs. withering; to get a wriggle on vs. to get a wiggle on, etc..) which I bring up mainly because, especially when written, "mmm" is frequently confused with "hmm", and the etymology of "hmm" is pretty funny from a Good Omens perspective.

While "mmm" is a sound of pleasure, "hmm" is a sound made of consideration, a kind of pause in a sentence to acknowledge something that was spoken and to either suggest you're giving it thought or to show hesitation over what was said-- or, possibly, both. While "mmm" is a contented sound derived from the human body, "hmm" is onomatopoeia because it is imitative of a different, very specific sound in nature...

...it comes from the droning sound of buzzing bees.

To Crowley and Aziraphale, "hmm"-- the sound of hesitation and reflective contemplation-- is a sound of the insects that are symbolically the angels and that's amusing to them since the humans frequently swap it out with their signature sound of pleasure while Crowley and Aziraphale do not find much about Heaven very arousing.

Crowley's new favorite hobby in S2 is making dirty jokes that are going over Muriel's head-- some of which, like his handcuff innuendo while getting Muriel to take him to (literal) Heaven, are a bit on the surface. Others, though, like the frequently confused words wordplay of using "mmm" in protest of Heaven instead of "hmm" in the "mmm, bees" moment after successfully getting one over on the angels-- are examples of just wordplay jokes that Aziraphale would have found funny that Crowley was amusing himself with in the moment.

Crowley is definitely not the only one of the two of them amping up those mmms though. The only bee who has his attention is playing right back...

...and the mmm thing is not exactly new, either...

...like for him to mmm his way through an entire barbecued ox five minutes after this...

Original post that prompted this response:

[anim-ttrpgs]

🌤️ Share your favorite mechanic from a game you’re working on.

I have a lot of mechanics in Eureka that I really really really love and have hardly seen anything similar to them anywhere else, but for the purposes of this ask I’m going to be answering with one of the unique ones that we haven’t talked about on here yet: The Woo Roll.

The Woo Roll is a special roll named in honor of director John Woo, well-known for his bombastic and extravagant use of practical effects in shootout scenes. Eureka boasts exciting and realistically dangerous firearms combat, and what better way to make deadly firearms combat more exciting in a theater-of-the-mind or grid-based shootout than by adding flavor and flare that emulates Hardboiled?

Firstly, it should be noted that it’s actually relatively hard to hit a target in Eureka firearm combat, doing so requires a fairly high roll. That means that participants are going to be doing a lot of missing. Besides just having a higher Firearms skill, the best way to increase one’s chance to hit is by firing more bullets in a single turn in the hopes that at least one of those shots will roll high enough to hit, which is why automatic weapons are more powerful than others: It usually only takes one single bullet hitting to disable a human target, so even with a low Firearms skill, firing more bullets at once greatly increases the chance that at least one will hit.

However, realistically, most shootouts in Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy will be done using semi-automatic pistols, which are only capable of firing a maximum of 2 shots per turn. We don’t want to make our combat be just and endless boring montra of “shoot, miss, shoot, miss, shoot, miss”.

So, how do we make missed shots fun?

The answer is the Woo Roll.

The Woo Roll is one of the few rolls in Eureka that doesn’t use 2D6, it only uses 1 D6.

(Quick note for those unaware: While Eureka is NOT a PbtA game, it does use a similar system of “Failure, Partial Success, and Full Success”, three possible outcomes of a dice roll instead of just Success and Failure.)

When firing a gun, all bullets fired that turn are rolled separately (we have a special speed-rolling system for when you’re firing more than 3 bullets in one turn but that’s a different post). A Full Success(10+ on a 2D6 roll) is required to hit the intended target with any given bullet, a Partial Success(7-9) and a Failure(2-6) both miss. But this is where the Woo Roll comes in.

I’ll let the actual Eureka rulebook take it from here.

As you can see here, missed shots in Eureka still have some effect on the environment and situation, even if they do not kill their intended target. This ensures that a roll in firearm combat will always do something even if it is a miss, and reminds the players of one of the fundamental rules of gun safety: Don't just be sure of your target, be sure of what's behind your target! High-velocity lead doesn't stop being destructive just because it flew a little too far to the left!

The fact that a Woo Roll is much more likely to have a negative result if the shoot was a Failure vs a Partial Success means that handing someone a gun who has no idea how to use it can be more of a hazard than a benefit, but it's not impossible for them to get that one lucky shot that makes the difference. Likewise, a Woo Roll made from a Partial Success still has a small chance to cause disaster, so even very skilled shooters have to consider whether it's worth the risk to start firing bullets all over the place at all.

We also have tables the Narrator(Game Master) can roll on just in case the shootout runs out of Woo Roll Elements or it happens in place where no Woo Roll Elements would realistically be. Here's a sneak peak at the table for Negative Woo Rolls.

Note also that this is a 2D6 table, meaning that the results closest to 7 are much more likely than the results farthest from 7.

[yumeka-sxf]

Today's new chapter was so intriguing 👀

First off, nice to see the Authens again. Guess we're sure now that Endo will make them reoccurring characters! Yor's embarrassment about being called "Mom" ("okaa-san" in the JP version) was really cute.

They managed to translate this joke very well; in the JP version, the word "ebento"(event) makes Sigmund think of "obento"(lunchbox). Using the word "function" for "luncheon" was clever!

But the main highlight of this chapter for me was seeing the ever enigmatic Melinda again after so long!

She's a really a tough one to figure out, and this chapter only brought up more questions than answers. She seems extremely nice here, being very forgiving of Millie despite her harsh accusations against her husband. She also mentions that she'd be very resentful if anything were to happen to her family...which is kind of contrasting to her thoughts about Damian from the end of the bus hijacking arc.

I also loved the scene of Yor sticking up for Millie. Her expression was so blank yet so deep at the same time. It actually reminded me of Anya's expression when she punched Damian - in both cases, their blank expression doesn't match their action, but it makes sense because they're still unsure of how to act and what emotion to portray in many seemingly "normal" situations. Anger and annoyance aren't feelings that come naturally to them.

In Yor's case here, having to defend someone against such accusations isn't something she's had much experience doing (at least not for someone who isn't family), and at the same time she can't just outright kill the hostile party like she would on an assassination mission. So despite being in such an awkward situation, especially for someone like her who struggles with social interactions, she managed to remain remarkably calm. As usual, Yor gets easily flustered when it comes to her own feelings, but if she sees someone else being threatened, her capabilities shoot up to maximum! That unpredictable expression should be feared from both her and Twilight!

We also learn that Yor lost her parents in the war, which is something I always suspected. Her words in the below panel reminded me a lot of the thoughts she had during the end of the cruise arc. As I've mentioned before, despite her naivety about many things, she understands the tragedies that go on in the world, especially in terms of war - that it's not just soldiers who suffer, but the children and everyone else left behind. It makes sense that someone who understands that kind of loss and hardship has such outpouring empathy to others the way Yor does...

...which is actually contrasting to the way Millie deals with her loss, by lashing out at others. It's said that those who have suffered can become either very sympathetic or very resentful. It was interesting to see that subtle contrast between Yor and Millie here.

Speaking of Millie, it was nice to see her get some redemption and backstory. Like Camilla, I still don't think this makes up for all the mean things she's said to Yor before, but it's something!

Good to see McMahon again after so long. Don't think he's made an appearance since the cruise arc 👀

As usual, it's hard to say if this chapter is leading to a new arc or not. I'm sure things mentioned here, especially about Melinda, will come back later, but who knows if it will be right away or several chapters from now. I know we were all expecting something relating to Anya's backstory based on the previous short mission, but I still think there's a chance that what happened here could tie into that. We'll see! We're close to chapter 100 so I wonder if Endo is planning something special for that 🤔

[winterchimez]

🔎 — the 007 files

James Bond—or rather, the public was more aware that his code name, agent 007, has been working behind the scenes for decades now. imagine this: what if the agent 007 that you have come to know of was actually more than just one person? what if the famous group The Boyz were all agent 007 working under M16. buckle up as you access M16's top secret operative files, aka the most famous missions these individual agents have succeeded in.

A/N: why hello my fellow readers! i present to you a tbz x 007 cross-over collab series!! i've had this idea for a while now and thanks to @sungbeam who gave me the genius idea of hosting an open collab (and co-planning with me) for this!! i'm so so excited and i really hope this doesn't flop lmao 😭 so yes, please feel free to join the fun! 😉

🔎 STARRING: the boyz x f!reader/oc // g.n!reader/oc

🔎 GENRE: crime, angst, fluff, crack, suggestive, smut (only for 18+ writers!!), assorted pairings (more to be added)

🔎 WARNINGS: will be stated in each respective files!

RULES & REGULATIONS:

↬ choose a tbz member & a bond film to start off! you may write the story loosely based on the storyline of the film/a certain scene(s) inspired by the film itself! or alternatively, write it based on the themed song for the specific film you have chosen! (eg: sangyeon - the spy who loved me)

↬ slots will be first come first served! in total there will be 11 slots for 11 members

↬ only tbz member x reader / tbz member x oc!! no tbz member x member for this

↬ as mentioned above, writers will have the option to choose to either write a female/gender neutral reader/oc!

↬ minimum wc would be 1k, and there's no maximum so feel free to write as much as you'd like! pls include a "read more" feature after your summaries/genre/warnings/word count/a.n.

↬ you are allowed to write any genre you like! pls make sure you're over 18+ if you wish to include smut in your work.

↬ no sensitive topics will be allowed (eg: su*c*de, r*pe, r*cism, etc.)

↬ i will be making a discord gc for easier access, updates, and even brainstorming with one another! it will also help me loads with any announcements i will be making. joining in would be highly encouraged (though if you choose not to that's totally fine by me, just keep me regularly updated in my dms!)

↬ the project will officially kick start off on December 1st 2023, and you will have till March 31st 2024 to complete your work! if ever you wish to drop out / need a bit more time to publish your work pls do let me know!!

↬ fill out this google form to secure your place in this collab :) (key: shaken not stirred)

↬ lastly, reblog this post, @ me in your fics & use the hashtag 🔎 — the 007 files in your works!!

FILES:

Lee Sangyeon — The Spy Who Loved Me @winterchimez

Jacob Bae — The World Is Not Enough @snowflakewhispers

Kim Younghoon — Goldfinger @daisyvisions

Lee Hyunjae — Skyfall @kkinou

Lee Juyeon — For Your Eyes Only @juyeonszn

Kevin Moon

Choi Chanhee — No Time To Die @maessseongs

Ji Changmin — Casino Royale @sungbeam

Ju Haknyeon

Kim Sunwoo — On Her Majesty's Secret Service @kimsohn

Eric Sohn — From Russia With Love @cloverdaisies

[accio-victuuri]

follow up clowning related to gg’s weibo post from here. a reminder first that i don’t think everything has to mean something and most of the time what they post is just plain and simple. we are clowns, so we will speculate but that doesn’t mean we have to find some candy for every content they post before we can enjoy & appreciate it. for example, we also think that the reason GG is doing these solar terms right now, while he is filming LoZ is in the synopsis of the drama, his character is the son of the “director of the Imperial Observatory of the Great Yong Kingdom” , that’s the english translation. but the key here in the original text is this word: 钦天监 [qīn tiān jiàn].

what is it? thank you to good old baidu for always having the answer:

Qin Tianjian is the signature of an official whose function is to observe celestial phenomena, calculate solar terms, and formulate calendars.

calculating solar terms. so that could be the connection he is hinting at that is somehow significant to the character he is playing. makes sense right?

this is not me washing anyone’s candy. i’m only laying out alternative explanations cause that’s how i do things. lol. the addition i have seen going around is kadian related and i’m not a kadian girlie so i was blocking it out when i first saw it. 😅😅😅

okay, now let’s go to the cpn. ⬇️⬇️⬇️

the post he made is his 1085th on weibo. oh what a good number, like a mashup between their birthdays. and the kadian that was used 191919. which means still still still. or you can concentrate on the repeated use of the number 999 ( In Chinese, nine is pronounced jiu, which also means “long lasting.” As the highest single digit, it represents the maximum level of mortal happiness, longevity, and good luck. A perfect ten is reserved for the gods. Case in point: in respect to the Heavens, the Forbidden City in Beijing has 9999.5 rooms, just short of a flawless 10,000. )

who is saying still too? forever with who? wang yibo. based on my first post about it, his use of that word 谷雨 that also came up in LTS lyrics.

another coincidence is that in the song itself, the word comes up in the 0:19 mark. 👀

commemorating the anniversary of when he followed yibo on weibo, 4/20/2018 so he posted on the eve of that day. maybe he is celebrating something else that only the two of them know and it’s not necessarily something as mundane as following a person on weibo. who knows. however, it’s on the bxg calendar so we are marking that down as a possible reason. 📝

i love this explanation tho, that goes back to that actual day years ago and what happened. it was the 5th day of filming CQL and they did not have scenes together, so why did he pay attention and followed him? he was filming the scene in the burial mounds, WWX was drunk and reminiscing about when he first met LWJ. WWX misses LWJ cause he is not there. Was XZ also missing WYB that time? to the point that he went to his weibo account and followed him?

it’s not a secret that XZ prefers it when WYB is there, not only to act with, but just there for him. plus this level of attachment on the 5th day of filming is not surprising when it comes to them.

finally, the imagery of the rain when it comes to them is one that holds some meaning. much like how we fixate on the stars and moon. photos below to show some of those relations to the rain. ☔️

and that lrlg conversation they had that went:

XZ: "I'm waiting for you"

WYB: "I'll come and have dinner with you when it rains”

XZ: "Tomorrow's meal"

WYB: "Then tomorrow"

before we end, i’ll add this quote that seems to fit the whole subject of rain:

"Because it rains so often, many important things in life seem to have happened in the rain. Those memories are now uncovered and still feel wet. Even if they dry, they are like a book soaked in water, with ripples on the paper that are difficult to calm down."

sources aside from the ones directly linked: one / two / three / four 💛

[wixhing0nastar]

Abuse Narratives in RWBY: Yang Xiao Long Edition (Feat. Ruby Rose)

We've all witnessed and talked about Blake and Weiss being abuse survivors for years. Blake escaping from Adam and Weiss escaping from her father were both huge, impactful events that have shaped the narrative of the story in many ways.

Yang on the other hand has managed to fly mostly under the radar with the abuse she's suffered up to this point. Her jokey, happy-go-lucky facade tricking the audience just as well as it has her friends and family for years.

(Note: this is going to be a long post, so strap in. Also this is your warning I am not going to be holding back in my criticism of Tai, so if you don't want to see me go into detail about how exactly he abused Yang, I highly suggest turning back now).

TL:DR: Yang was neglected and parentified (aka: abused) as a child and that’s the root of a lot of the issues that she’s currently struggling with in Volume 9 and a large part of her healing is going to be centered around her relationship with Blake going forward.

Let's start by establishing what exactly I'm referring to when I say that Yang has been abused. Because while I'm certainly referring to her being neglected after Summer's death, I'm more so referring to the years of Parentification that was caused by said neglect (in addition to the verbal and emotional abuse hurled her way).

Let's start by defining what exactly Parentification is since it's where most of Yang's current problems stem from.

[Parentification is] a disturbance in the generational boundaries, such that evidence indicates a functional and/or emotional role reversal in which the child sacrifices his or her own needs for attention, comfort, and guidance in order to accommodate and care for the logistical and emotional needs of a parent and/or sibling. (Hooper, 2007b, p. 323)

Ruby establishes in Volume 9, Chapter 1 that Yang was the one who raised her. It's important to note that in the context of her saying that, she's telling Yang that Yang was the one responsible for her moral development as a kid.

Research has shown that the building blocks for morality are generally in place by the age of 4. However, "children need adults to help them at every stage of childhood to nurture these seeds into full development." (Harvard, Raising Caring, Respectful, Ethical Children, p. 1) With "childhood" commonly considered infancy to age 12.

Using this we can reasonably assume that Yang was Ruby's primary caretaker or at the very least co-parenting with Tai from the time of Summer's death to at least age 14 (when Ruby was 12)... which mind you, is already over a decade total and only three years before the show starts.

Now that we've got some of the science out of the way, let's start looking at the show itself to see just how bad the situation was.

Burning the Candle

This iconic scene actually paints a fairly horrifying picture of Yang and Ruby's early childhood when you start to break it down.

I waited for dad to leave the house.

Meaning that by that point, probably only a few months after Summer's death based on the timeline Yang establishes, Yang already knows Tai will reliably leave her and Ruby alone without supervision for extended periods of time in order to pull this off.

I must have walked for hours.

Meaning that it likely took several hours for someone to even notice they were missing in the first place. The fact Qrow knew exactly where they were indicates that Yang either left a note or clue about where they were headed and I'm willing to bet the only reason it took Yang that long to walk was because she was like two feet tall at the time (since Patch is like... a tiny island... which brings me to the next line...

A toddler asleep in the back of a wagon

Again, to clarify, Ruby was a toddler. Toddlers are between 1-3 years old... meaning this all happened when Yang was a maximum of (and likely, based on their physical appearances) 5 years old.

So to summarize, Tai was regularly leaving Yang, his five-year-old, home alone and in charge of her three-year-old sister... which would be horrifying to think about on its own but this is Remnant.

Which means that Tai was regularly leaving his grieving five-year-old at home alone when they didn't live inside a kingdom's border and there were known wild Grimm in the area... who are attracted to negative emotions.

Wow... I wonder why Yang felt the need to try to diffuse the tension with humor and keep everyone in high spirits all the time. It’s almost like it was a life or death situation growing up. (/s)

Anger, Fear, and Burn

Before jumping into the next big narrative piece, let’s talk a little bit about Yang’s semblance, Burn, and how it works. Because it’s important to establish before starting to dig into Volume 4.

Let’s start with how Ruby describes it:

Don't worry! With each hit she gets stronger, and she uses that energy to fight back! That's what makes her special.

Notice how Ruby doesn't mention anything about Yang needing to be angry to use her Semblance? In fact, while it’s unclear if this is entirely true, it has been stated previously that Yang’s powers come in part from her hair and no one has refuted that claim in like 8 years so it holds some weight.

Moreover, recent volumes have actually been hinting that Yang likely doesn't even need to use her anger to activate/maintain burn. And that she just does so out of habit more than anything.

Now, why exactly would someone intentionally limit themselves by tying their semblance into in emotion like that? Well, first let’s answer the question, why anger?

And well... anger is a secondary emotion.

A secondary emotion is an emotion fueled by other emotions... masking your feelings of sadness, hurt or grief with anger can be easier than experiencing the primary emotion.

And moreover,

The feelings that anger commonly masks include fear, anxiety, guilt, shame, embarrassment, betrayal, jealousy, sadness, hurt, and worry. (Alta Loma, Understanding Anger as a Secondary Emotion, Web, emphasis added).

Fear is, of course, a bit of a running theme in RWBY, there was a whole speech and song about it at the end of Volume 7, after all.

But more than that, there've been two people on two separate occasions who've called Yang out for being scared when she's posturing: Ren and Raven.

And while Ren was pointing out that she uses humor to try to deflect when she’s scared, when Raven said this to Yang she was absolutely outwardly angry... and Yang admits to being scared in the moment yet still standing there.

Also note that humor = friends/winning, anger = enemies/losing.

Which makes you wonder, what was happening growing up that made Yang instinctively react to fear of danger with anger and planting her feet instead of running away? For that let's go back to what we learned from Burning the Candle and the V5 short real quick.

We know there are living Grimm on Patch. Maybe not as many as elsewhere, but both times we are given glimpses into Yang and Ruby's childhood on Patch they are attacked by Grimm, which isn't a great sign.

How old do you think Yang was the first time she or Ruby had a bad day and attracted one of them on accident and she had to fight it off on her own (because she couldn't run, she had to protect Ruby)?

How many nights do you think Yang would spend reading Ruby stories and telling her dumb jokes to get her to laugh to try to make sure they weren't attacked? How often did Ruby have to force herself to be okay? For both their sake?

Volume 4

Now let's talk about Volume 4, aka: when Tai had the chance to step up and didn't.

Now right off the bat he's okay. There's nothing inherently wrong with him bringing her the arm and being excited at the thought because he doesn't know how she's going to react to it though it is a little weird he opened her mail without permission.

The rest of Yang's first V4 episode, however, makes it very clear both to us as the audience and Tai that Yang isn't doing okay... but Tai doesn't do anything to attempt to help her.

Which is why what happens in the next episode is kinda messed up.

Yang wakes up from a nightmare about losing her arm in a seriously traumatizing event and goes downstairs when she realizes there's a distraction people are over.

Then we get the fight and despite Yang laughing it off in the end... honestly Tai is being very condescending towards her, which Yang even points out. Like, someone made a slightly adult joke in front of her and he flies off the handle and starts a fight with her and starts making digs about her not being a real adult ready for the real world and let's just break that down before dealing with the actual problems in this episode.

Yang, as established, has been fulfilling the role of parent (while barely getting any parenting herself) for years. She's been fulfilling the role of an adult since she was 5! And at this point in the show she's also legally an adult. So not only is it condescending, it's also untrue.

Then we get this line.

I guess you lost some brain cells along with that arm.

Not only is this beyond callus, Yang is clearly actually upset by this.

And notably, she only treats it as a joke after Oobleck dropped his cup. AKA: after being reminded that they aren’t alone in the room.

(And remember, Yang uses humor as a coping mechanism).

And both Oobleck and Port can clearly tell that this wasn’t appropriate at all and immediately following that, they pointedly step in to ask Yang how she is doing with everything.

Which Tai has not done.

And Yang opens up to them! And she tells them that she’s still struggling and coming to terms with what happened to her. Which in turn causes Tai to finally talk to her about it, but he’s being pushy about her getting back out and “being her new normal” and even refers to her PTSD as moping when she just got done saying she’s still trying to process and recover.

And it’s again Port specifically who steps in and gives her some genuine advice without trying to push her her into anything she’s not ready for and then Oobleck joins in and they go out if their way to ham it up to make her laugh.

So overall, Tai’s being extremely dismissive of the trauma that she’s gone through and minimizing her feelings at every turn.

Which then leads to this scene...

Which is when Tai’s dismissiveness starts to make sense (and I’ll come back to this when I’m analyzing the last episode).

Let’s break it down. To start, Tai knows that Yang is going up to her room, they pointedly have her call out goodnight from upstairs so Tai knows where she is physically and what her intentions are.

Secondly, there’s no way that Tai doesn't know you can hear people talking from the front door from Yang’s room. He’s owned this house for like two decades minimum at this point.

So when Oobleck and Port ask after Ruby, there’s no way he should assume Yang won’t be able to hear everything he says. And he very much lays the burden of Ruby’s safety at Yang’s feet. He’s not going after her because he has to “look after some things.”

AKA: Yang.

And then she comes to him literally the next day wearing the new arm and wanting to train and he doesn't question her at all, even though 12 hours earlier Yang was very much not ready?

We then don’t see her at all for five episodes until we get the scene where she’s training with Tai and honestly, his advice is kinda horrible.

To start, even he says his advice is based on watching her Vytal Festival fights, meaning that everything is based on watching three matches.

He points out she uses her semblance to win every fight after the qualifiers (which is true), and Yang rightly points out that everyone uses their semblances to help them win. Then Tai says this:

Because not everyone else’s is basically a temper tantrum.

Not only is this very unlikely to be true, but even if Yang does need to rely on her anger to activate her semblance, calling it a temper tantrum isn’t accurate at all.

In fact, the way Yang uses her semblance takes a great deal of emotional regulation to pull off. She not only is able to make herself angry enough to use it at will, she’s also able to stop using it at will. Meaning Yang is capable of instantaneously switching from one emotion to another.

That’s not a temper tantrum, that’s someone with superb emotional control choosing what emotion to feel when it’s most appropriate.

Furthermore, the “what happens if you miss” comment is so ridiculous I don’t even know how to start other than saying we literally saw exactly what happens when Yang misses her first attempt in Volume 2! When her semblance is being revealed! And the answer is... she gets another shot.

And if they’re stronger... like not using the thing that makes her ridiculously powerful is certainly not going to help.

And honestly... Yang doesn’t do what Tai says. He says it’s useful in a bind but Yang doesn’t use her semblance only in emergencies from here on end. In fact, what she actually does is pick up some tricks from Pyrrha and she starts hiding her semblance from people!

And noticeably, Tai isn’t the one who tells Yang to fight smarter. That’s a line of thinking she develops on her own between the first and second times she faced Adam.

And then Tai takes credit for her “suddenly” getting better like she hadn’t successfully hit him so hard he needed to take a pause and the fight he did win was only because he attacked her when she was being vulnerable with him... her father who she’s of course not going to assume is going to attack her while she’s opening up to him... because she wouldn’t do that to Ruby.

And then we get to Yang’s last (real) episode of the volume when she’s setting out to get Ruby. Remember when I said Tai’s dismissiveness started to make sense and we’d come back to it? Well we’re back to it.

Note how Yang pointedly doesn’t tell Tai that she’s leaving, despite him having indicated to Port and Oobleck that the only reason he wasn’t also going after Ruby was because he was staying with Yang?

And how in the end he doesn’t leave with Yang to go find Ruby even though supposedly the only reason he hadn’t was because he wanted to make sure Yang was okay? And now Yang’s going after Ruby? Alone?

Paired with how pushy and condescending he was acting towards her in the other two Volume 4 episodes he was in, on top of having neglected and parentified her for at least a decade, this really reads as him wanting Yang to get better so he can shove her out the door to go after Ruby, and not him caring at all about her as a person.

(Which is why I really struggle to feel bad for him in his V8 scene... if he was so worried he could have been there).

Yang’s Actual Temper Tantrums

Let’s address these really quick before moving on to the final section. We’ve actually seen/heard of four different instances where Yang actually was having something resembling a temper tantrum while using her semblance.

I’m going to start with the Neon fight because it’s the easiest. But Neon as a character relies on knocking her opponents off balance by getting under their skin in a fight. She tries to make them angry and yes, it does work on Yang in this instance. But that’s Neon’s whole thing, in any other match up Yang would have been fine.

The other three times all had to do with her hair (namely, when Junior gets her hair in her trailer, when the ursa gets her hair in the Emerald Forest and... in V4 when Tai refers to her having a rough first haircut).

Going back to the bit about how Yang’s powers, in part, come from her hair and this actually makes a lot of sense in the context of Yang’s childhood. If she was regularly in charge of protecting Ruby and some of the finite power she did have as a kid was because of her hair, of course she gets freaked out by losing some... and we’ve already talked about Yang using anger as a mask for fear.

Bumbleby and Volume 9

So let’s talk about where we’re going now, because of all three of the abuse survivors in this show, Yang is the only one who hasn’t really been confronted with and forced to deal with it yet.

Because at the end of the day, being parentified and neglected for years has left Yang scared to open up emotionally and more than that, uncertain of her identity outside of being Ruby’s parent.

Because up to going to Beacon, that was basically Yang’s entire life. It’s entirely possible the only reason she went to Signal was to learn how to protect Ruby better all things considered.

Which is why the development between her and Blake is so important this volume. Yang desperately needs to be valued as something other a caretaker and protector and so far they’ve been emphasizing the fact that Blake loves Yang because she’s a goofy dork who makes her smile, not because she’s strong enough to level a mountain.

And while Blake’s relationship with Adam was abusive, unlike Yang, Blake does have a framework for health relationships thanks to Ghira and Kali and she’s worked through her own trauma from being abused romantically enough that she’s in a place emotionally to help Yang start working though hers. Starting by giving Yang a person she can trust not to leave who also isn’t and has never been dependent on her to muck up Yang’s healing process.

Because there’s a difference between someone choosing to stay and someone not having any other choice because they were/are dependent on you. And (absolutely no shade to Ruby here) she’s already had someone in the latter position choose to leave her anyways.

In Conclusion

Yang was abused as a child and into her late teens and is in desperate need of some type of unconditional love and affection that she doesn’t feel there are strings attached to in order to finally begin healing...

And therapy, but they’re a little low on that for the foreseeable future.

[championofravens]

Skip to Loafer and Transgender Role Models: A Brief Analysis

To any who watch or read Skip to Loafer, Nao-chan is a presence you immediately can not ignore. The protagonist’s aunt, she is the primary adult we interact with in the series and one of the main characters of the supporting cast. Our first introduction to Nao-chan does not immediately reveal her transgender status- we are instead introduced to her as a kind, nurturing, caring and protective adult in Mitsumi’s life. We learn later about her being trans through negative whispers from strangers and immediately the tone is set: instead of having Nao-chan hear the gossip on the train, she is instead immediately given a small gesture of love and support from our protagonist Mitsumi. It is a simple but deliberate scene and seems to offer a quiet promise that Nao-chan is as deserving as happiness as anyone else in the cast, an overarching theme that becomes more and more powerful for many characters over the course of the story.

I specifically want to talk about Episode X from the anime and a few scenes from it. For anyone who hasn’t watched it, I will summarize as best I can:  Mitsumi asks permission from Nao-chan to invite her school friends over for a slumber party and she happily agrees. However, she also says that she wishes to tell her friends she is biologically male “just in case”. No reason is directly stated why but many can easily spring to mind. We cut then to Nao-chan dressed in a more masculine style than normal, serving Mitsumi’s friends and being referred to with male honorifics. As Nao-chan leaves, however, our beloved supporting cast all pipe up to compliment Mitsumi’s stylish and kind aunt. We see Nao-chan listening from outside the door, joyfully tearing up.

Later, Nao-chan reappears in her typical feminine attire and makeup to the girls, informing them she’s stepping out. Mika ends up following Nao-chan out, the two having somewhat of a repertoire from earlier in the episode, and Mika confides in her reasons for leaving the slumber party early. Nao-chan immediately is able to relate to Mika’s anxieties and fears based on her own experience growing up, the viewer given a quick shot of her younger masculine self. Before letting her leave, Nao-chan offers advice and urges Mika to return to the slumber party, imparting an important lesson about embracing being genuine to yourself her (with some briefly hilarious word choices).

At this moment on our first watch, my husband turned to me and said “God, if only I heard that growing up.”

It can’t be overstated how shocking the amount of respect and affection Nao-chan gets in the story is. First, the story’s way of choosing to address her being transgender while keeping consistent with it’s happy and airy tone is done masterfully. Nao-chan makes a very realistic choice for her situation in wanting to present as male to Mitsumi’s friends and the narrative respects that. But it also doesn’t linger on the issue either by having Mitsumi’s friends immediately address it positively to the viewer. I think my favorite thing however is that the story lets Nao-chan hear the praise and kind words. We get to see a transgender woman in a moment of maximum gender euphoria. She is respected as a character and as her gender at all times, whether she is there in the moment or not.

Things are taken a step further in the next scene, going beyond simply supporting Nao-chan as a transgender character in the story but also as an adult role model too. In a time where radical rhetoric says transgender women can never understand the struggles of cis women, the story shows the exact opposite. Not only do a group of cis young women all think Nao-chan is beautiful and kind, they also see her as a safe person to confide in and a person who can relate to their feelings. Mika’s short time with Nao-chan earlier in the episode was of a more slapstick variety yet her honesty with Nao-chan feels organic when it happens. We can understand how the two would find common ground on their feelings, even if they lived completely different lives. In fact, it is implied that Nao-chan’s feelings are uniquely pulled from her experience growing up assigned male.

Part of this is contributed to the fact Nao-chan breaks the curse of transgender characters in much of anime by being surprisingly “sexless”. Not once is a perverted joke made at her expense or does she slip in a strangely blunt reference to her body. Part of this is thanks to the genre and overall tone of Skip to Loafer which is incredibly comfortable and chaste.

I was inspired to write this after realizing that there would be a chance that this character and this story’s handling of her might slip under the radar. Though she is not the focus of the story, she is present constantly within the narrative just as anyone else and her presence only enhances the experience. When I see the same examples being passed around of what qualifies for good trans rep in anime, it makes me burn to think she may not be included in these lists.

[cillyscribbles]

i promised cats metaposting 2 bagpipe boogaloo and i am a bitch of my word here we go

cats 1998: the rum tum tugger + these hands are rated G for grizabella

(theory wank under cut call that catracter development)

(theory wank about munkustrap & grizabella here for those uninitiated)

RIGHT SO unfortunately this one is no longer semi-coherent overanalysis of microexpression but a full descent into conspiratorial madness, so please remain aware of the fact that this is a tangent missing textual support at the best of times. it's entirely possible and even likely that rum tum tugger is genuinely just a bitch to grizabella because that's who he is as a person and doesn't like what she smells like or something idfk. anyway.

welcome to my red string board of why rum tum tugger actually doesn't dislike her for no reason and totally has depth and yeah we're poor little meow meowing a white boy with more hubris than eyeliner, classic essay genre on tumblr, at least he's a catboy this time and the hubris-eyeliner ratio is actually a close call.

anyway, for any of my theorizing to make sense, here are the two headcanons it's all based on:

grizabella is an (ex-)wife of old deuteronomy and the mother of rum tum tugger (and munkustrap if you're so inclined)

grizabella left the jellicle cats at some point when rum tum tugger was a kitten or otherwise a very young cat

and honestly the rest just flows from the mommy issues to be honest. there's a load of alternate explanations and theories and headcanons and mine's by no means the right one necessarily, but i do have to admit the family angst it allows for is balls to the walls insane because it just. it fits what we see on screen so well!

look at this clown i love him. he ONLY does the puff-up at grizabella. and even though that supports my theorizing it's also honestly a bit of a loss i think. it's such an evocative cat-thing. i want him to do that when something jumpscares him lmao. i NEED him to do that at old deuteronomy jokingly and get cuffed on the back of the head by munkustrap for being a professional youngest child. anyway

don't get me wrong, the fact that tugger has a grudge against grizabella isn't anything special, most older cats do; hell, some of them deliberately walk past her Judgementally (bombalurina, notably) or shake their head at her in disapproval (jennyanydots), but it's so pointedly constant and so pointedly Pointed with tugger that it draws my eye. every time she appears, he has to clearly and explicitly broadcast his displeasure with the fact that she's daring to breathe at them.

like, she's not In His Way or anything here. he doesn't have to walk past her if he doesn't want to. he doesn't have to look at her; plenty of other cats pretend she doesn't exist when she looks at them. but not only does he do all those things, he explicitly looks at her and puffs his coat up again. he's walking at a fairly brisk pace toward her and actually slows down to do it. it's such a deliberately mean thing to do it's stuck between really extra and really petty. exactly the same with the jellicle choice scene.

my man's being so petty this should be constituted as bullying lmao. look at that! nobody likes you still! sucks to be you i guess! like. this man would be pouncival doing the fake pranks and scratching her if he was a kitten. he's just, constantly upping his level of mean to her. in the first scene he at least has the decency to walk out in the opposite direction of her.

a really professional youngest child. again, all that ^ is fairly grounded thought on character performance i think if you don't really connect it to anything, but i'm connecting it to abandonment issues for maximum ouch lmao.

so, bear with me for a moment: for whatever reason, grizabella leaves the jellicles, including her husband and kid(s). (if you're a fan of the theory about macavity being the third brother to munkustrap and tugger, i mean, she might've just left with him because he was her kid. i dunno.) and you're tugger. Baby tugger, even. you don't understand why she'd leave you. was it you? were you too much? were you not enough? of course not, but you're a little cat with a lot of pride and all the makings of a Petty Little Bastard in you, so you say fuck all that. i'm not too much; i'm actually more than enough. i'm the best! and i'll make damn sure you never forget it!

i feel like if you include munkustrap in that too it gets to be a really interesting dynamic. tugger's mean and angry and going out of his way to show it, and munkustrap is just kind of. "can we not do this" about it. really seems like he'd rather be somewhere else, but, i mean, welcome to The Unpleasant Shit being his job. professional eldest sibling.

she approaches him and he actively goes absolutely not oh look at that what a nice corner i'll just go stand over there. meanwhile tugger's determined to be all OH! OH LOOK WHO'S HERE!!!! WELCOME HOME CHEATER!!!!!! about it. like i already made a post about this so i won't get into it again but i really don't think munkustrap is all that mad at her, which gives tugger's attitude some nice contrast.

continuing with dynamics for a moment, i feel like tugger either has real Attuned Parental Figure Senses or is surprisingly perceptive for his character? this isn't necessarily connected with the point before, but i mean, he stops his whole entire number MID-DANCE MOVE to point out grizabella. he does do it with great flow though you must admit.

he loves attention!! that's established!! whether or not he's up for it at All Times we can have a discussion about (he really just dips out after his number to recharge for a good while lol) but he's here having the time of his life, BOOM one whiff of grizz and he's tearing down the party decorations, that's it, everyone go home.

i'd attribute it to him just Really Having That Big of a grudge if he didn't also kinda sorta activate his Deuteronomy Detect power during the lad's arrival LMAO.

look at that! he beats munkustrap to it! admittedly i can't see the rest of the stage so it might be that all the other cats already saw it and he's just pointing old deuteronomy out to munkustrap as the latter's too busy looking the other way. but it's still a funky way to get in character traits besides Mean & A Whore!

ok and another notable thing, and to me something really interesting, it that tugger never does end up touching grizabella, even though he has the choice to.

after she's first accepted back via touch from victoria, the cats sort of line up to show their affections too. it's a really nice scene in my opinion, you get the sense that all those cats really are happy to be able to take back an old friend and i'm all for it. but the cherry is that tugger is being Really Interestingly Acted here - he leads cassandra closer so she can reach out to grizabella, but tugger himself stays behind with this sort of blank expression over him. even those cats i mentioned before - jennyanydots and bombalurina - get the moment to hold grizabella's hands and smile and encourage her on. tugger doesn't do that.

grizabella doesn't touch every cat, granted, but even those she doesn't touch are reaching out to her, which is pretty much as good as. they all do enough of that sort of implied gesture throughout the musical that it shows it's affection and acceptance all the same whether or not physical contact is made, like for example old deuteronomy's greeting and the moments before the jellicle choice; the first one's posed similarly to grizabella's return, everyone's trying to touch old deuteronomy, but they're perfectly fine with sort of just reaching out and being reached out to (note mr mistoffelees and bombalurina). in the second one it's even sillier because both munkustrap and old deuteronomy could clear the like 10cm of distance between them, but the reaching and willingness is more than enough for that mutual understanding to come between them. basically intent > result (side note: this is not a good rule for life outside of the cats musical).

tugger doesn't reach out. doesn't try to get any closer than he already got and stays in the shadow behind the rest, just watching her go for a bit before he dips again.

with the way he's squashed behind asparagus jr here i can't tell if he's bowing or nodding or what, but i think it'd be really funny if he was just trying to make himself shrink a little. like hanging his head nope i'm not here don't look at me goodbye. so completely contradictory to his usual vibe it's hilarious.

it is interesting to think about though, in my opinion, that he spends pretty much the rest of the musical in the shadow and separated from the other celebrating cats. he climbs up onto the chest and stays on that platform for the rest of the show while the other cats are being directed by munkustrap to follow and then surround old deuteronomy.

it's interesting - he may be positioned above the other cats physically, but it makes him feel sort of separated if you know what i mean. there's usually this pretty clear separation between munkustrap and the other cats when they're on screen, they might crouch when he stands and reach out to him when he's talking, but this time munkustrap is just down there calling upon the vibes with the other cats, and only makes his way up to old deuteronomy's right after grizabella's gone and it's time for the closing number. rum tum tugger straight up bounces as they're going to the russel hotel LMAO.

he does hype her up as she's going up, which is also really cute. he's off to the side so the other cats aren't really looking at him, but even as old deuteronomy shows her the rest of them, grizabella's eyes linger on tugger's wee rockstar schtick and it just kind of melts me.

anyway. man may be conflicted but he's happy mum gets a retry whether anyone likes it or not. and i think that's nice. :)

[usafphantom2]

SR-71 “Ichi-Ban” – Buried in the Deepest Ocean on Earth

Throughout the 60s, Lockheed Skunk Works were building some incredible aircraft – the A-12 Oxcart and SR-71 were and still are some of the fastest vehicles ever made. These technical achievements were incredible. Before home computing and the internet, there were aircraft capable of more than 2,000 mph.

But, being on the bleeding edge of technology comes with risks. Either through lack of understanding or difficulty in manufacturing parts to tight enough tolerances, accidents can and will happen. This was to be the unfortunate fate of the SR-71 known as “Ichi-Ban”.

The Lockheed SR-71, known as the ‘Habu’.

SR-71 #61-17974 was based at Kadena AFB, Okinawa, Japan and made quite the scene for the locals who lived close by.

Read More: Lockheed SR-71 Blackbird – The Plane Designed to Leak

The unusual aircraft drew a lot of attention thanks to the unusual shape and jet black paintwork. The SR-71 became known as the ‘Habu’ locally, thanks to its resemblance to the Habu Pit Viper.

The Habu Viper.

The shape of the Habu Viper’s head has a strong resemblance to the SR-71.

As these aircraft were spyplanes, pilots did not become aces in the traditional sense, but with every mission flown a Habu was painted onto the side of the Blackbird. Once amassing 5 missions complete the crew would be considered an ace.

#61-17974 had the most operational missions complete and a large Habu was painted on the tail of the aircraft as a mark of respect. The snake was wrapped around a red ‘1’ and in the local language, ‘number one’ translated to ‘Ichi-Ban’.

The SR-71 known as "Ichi-Ban".

In April of 1989, just like many missions flown before, Pilot Lt. Col Dan House took Ichi-Ban into the skies above Kadena and everything seemed normal.

Nothing was reported by House or by his RSO Blair Bozek that would indicate any issue.

That was until House pushed the throttles on the pair of J-58 engines to maximum power. As Ichi-Ban hit Mach 3.0 the bearing in the left-hand compressor failed and caused the immediate destruction of the engine whilst travelling at over 2,000 mph.

The Wreckage of SR-71 "Ichi-Ban".

The damage from hitting the water was immense.

As the J-58 exploded, shrapnel was sent flying damaging the SR-71 and most critically severing hydraulic lines. Even the best and most experienced pilots ever would not be able to save such a badly damaged plane.

House did not give up, incredibly aware that the death of his RSO and himself was imminent, he managed to steer the Blackbird into a shallow descent and decelerate as quickly as possible.

Ejecting from aircraft is not a pleasant experience for anyone involved and doing it at Mach 3 would have been suicide.

The US could not let the wreckage fall into the hands of the Chinese government.

It was extremely important to recover the wreckage as the technology was highly classified.

However, extreme skill combined with a lot of luck meant that the wounded aircraft found itself below 10,000 at low enough speed for both House and Bozek to safely eject. They landed in the sea where some local fishermen came to their rescue.

Ichi-Ban continued going down and eventually smashed into the waters of the South China Sea.

Despite the age of the SR-71, the US could not let the wreckage be recovered by the Chinese. It was too technically advanced. It was not long before the wreckage had been salvaged and transported back to the Kadena Air Force base.

The tail of Ichi-Ban.

There were several options of what they could do with the wreckage of Ichi-Ban: scrap the aircraft and sell the metal to the highest bidder in Okinawa, send it back to the US for disposal, or bury it.

Typically the fastest and least expensive option was chosen.

Read More: The F-22 Raptor – The Fighter of the Future

But, the story does not end there – the Pacific Air Force would not permit burial of the aircraft at Kadena because facilities were constantly under construction for new tenants. Meaning that it may be a possibility that it would need to be dug up and moved somewhere else.

The SR-71 was an important aircraft to many.

Crews were very fond of the SR-71. Fitting that a full military honours burial was done to see her off.

Burial at sea seemed the most fitting option but required help from the US Navy. After all of the bureaucracy was settled the SR-71 #61-17974 was transferred to a waiting vessel.

Her remains were taken out to sea on Christmas Eve 1989 and buried with full military honours. Pushed off the side of the vessel, Ichi-Ban sank 25,597 feet into the ocean where she lies at the bottom of the Mariana Trench.

Are there any SR-71 still flying?

Though the SR-71 still holds the record for the highest altitude in horizontal flight, it’s no longer in use. In fact, Clarence “Kelly” Johnson designed this aircraft for Lockheed with the latest technology of the time. The plane’s pilots even required special suits to survive the extreme conditions the planes created. However, the US retired the planes in 1989 for political reasons and would only have brief reinstatement during the 1990s, after which the US permanently retired them.

@Stealthy360 via X

[colourme-feral]

Hi there. So I read your tags on an other post and thought I would give you challenge.

What were your 10 (or really how many you want) favourite locations in 2023 QLs? Can be places or buildings, or both. Your choice. Rose💜

@nothingsbetterthancoffee thank you for enabling on the clown website!! Did you have any favourite locations in this year's QLs?

I referred to MDL and so I've only included shows that started in 2023 and to keep this under Tumblr's maximum of 30 images, so I didn't include all screenshots for shared locations!

Anyway, these are my favourite QL locations from 2023:

1. Chong Nonsi Canal Park (Bed Friend, Chains of Heart and The Promise) (location) Shout out to @winnythanawin (aka @aprilblossomgirl) for our discussions about parks lol

2. The timber mill (Chains of Heart) I love wide angle and maximalist shots, so this location has been stuck in my mind.

3. Thai Muslim Women Foundation School (My Dear Gangster Oppa, Y-Destiny, Return Man, 55:15 Never Too Late, Midnight Motel, Never Let Me Go and My Only 12%) (location) I love that the building has specific motifs that are seen in other Islamic architecture. But also, an excessive number of chandeliers is always fun to me. (There are also far too many shared locations, so I picked only a few screenshots).

4. Chakngeaw Chinese Market (Moonlight Chicken) (location) Maybe it's the lanterns and the colours in the scenes, but I loved this location!

5. Como Metropolian Bangkok (Step by Step and Middleman's Love) (location) I described this as a Pride & Prejudice moment once. LOOK AT THE HUGE WINDOWS. That is all, lol

6. 13 Coins Tower Ngamwongwan (Playboyy and 3 Will Be Free) (location) I cannot explain how the slightly dead and uninhabited vibes of this hotel appeal to me but here we are 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♂️🤷

7. The houses (I Feel You Linger in the Air) (location, location) These details are *everything*. I'm especially a fan of the windows and stained glass!

8. Factopia (Pit Babe) (location) One thing about me is that I am chaotic. Look at this studio that's being used as a home. I love it lol

9. These two temples (Cherry Magic Thailand) (locations) The boat is selling the whole idea for me, though I've been told that there isn't actually a boat operating in these canals anymore, but let me imagine it!

10. Chao Phraya Sky Park (Last Twilight and Low Frequency Pilot Trailer) (location to come) I have actually been waiting to see this bridge/park used and was so excited to see it in Low Frequency's pilot trailer, though it didn't make it to the show. THEN Last Twilight showed up for me. Thank you to the location manager of the show.

11. Tokyo Tower (Shigatsu no Tokyo wa... / Tokyo in April is...) Please ignore how bad Ren looks in the screenshot. I don't care that only the base of my favourite tower can be seen. I'm taking it!!!

12. Whatever this building is (Pit Babe) I mean, I AM CURIOUS about it but haven't found the location. Maybe that's why I'm obsessing a little. Just let me find the location and I will get over it. Probably.

+ BONUS 13. Ikea Sukhumvit (Cherry Magic Thailand) I'm just kidding about this one, but I did google to see where it was @callipigio

Tagging @blmpff, @callipigio, @dribs-and-drabbles, @telomeke because we discuss locations, or at least I make you listen to me talk about them. I'd love to know if you had any favourites/ones that I forgot to add to the list!

If anyone else has their favourite locations, I'd love to know!

Also including these collections of locations, because why not: Troye Sivan's Got Me Started and its shared locations in Thai queer media

If I were in Bangkok, I might want to... in response to @lurkingshan's ask about my favourite locations

[magewritesstories]

[ ᴛᴏɢᴇ ɪɴᴜᴍᴀᴋɪ ] ʙᴇᴛᴛᴇʀ ᴛʜᴀɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴏᴠɪᴇꜱ

summary: 1 000 yellow daisies? Hah, Toge can do way better than that. Based on the s1 gilmore girls finale tw: none, literal fluff note: i wanted to write something for him too. might make this a series with diff. characters and different famous movie scenes. words: 1051 (yay 1k!) jujutsu kaisen masterlist

IT WASN'T EVEN CLOSE TO FALL YET AND YOU WERE ALREADY ON A GILMORE GIRLS KICK. You'd been rewatching the TV show along with some other iconic 00s movies and had almost reached the end of season one.

What brought on the sudden interest in the show, even though you usually saved it for your annual start-of-fall-ritual? You had no clue.

(Lies—it had been that one Jess Mariano edit on your fyp.)

Either way, it's not like it mattered, all that mattered was that you were happily bundled up in your little blanket burrito with popcorn and chocolate.

Just as you laughed at Lorelai annoying Michel, a small knock sounded from the door of your dorm.

"Come in!" You shouted, not bothering to get up. It would ruin the burrito form you'd turned yourself into.

"Kelp," Your boyfriend greets, walking over to you with a grin. You immediately open your arms for a hug, "Hey, how was the mission?"

The white-haired boy just sighed and shook his head. "Fish flakes," He replied, falling down on the couch next to you.

You two huddle together under the blanket as you weave your hands through his hair.

Toge sends a confused glance at the TV screen, "Mustard leaves?"

"Huh? Oh, that's the TV show I told you about," You reply, "You're actually perfectly on time for—dare I say—one of the most romantic scenes in cinema history."

Your boyfriend just gives you another confused glance before turning back to the TV. Your eyes are glued to the screen in anticipation.

"Oh, a little background—" A bit unable to contain your excitement you explain—"Basically, they're dating and she tells him that a real proposal should have 1,000 yellow daisies and a horse and yada yada."

You're practically sat at the edge of your seat as the look of realisation dawns on Lorelai's face, and Toge watches you with eyes filled with adoration. Wow, you're adorable.

You swoon as the camera pans around the brunette on screen, letting yourself fall into your boyfriend's arms with a giggle, "Isn't that so cute?"

"A little over the top but so cute." You look up at your boyfriend through your eyelashes and teasingly add, "Now that's how you say I love you."

It's an offhand comment, just meant to be a small joke but it sparks an idea in his head nonetheless. The gears in his brain shifting a mile a minute.

A way to say I love you, huh?

It takes almost two weeks for him to get everything in order.

Placing an order of a thousand flowers is apparently excessive and the maximum of the local flower shop was three hundred.

And getting you distracted long enough to not notice a giant shipment of your favourite flowers being shifted into your room was no easy feat.

Toge had to beg and bribe Maki to go shopping with you and Nobara for an entire day.

Yuji and Gojo, ever the movie lovers and romantics were all for the idea of recreating the scene and even helped fill your dorm room.

Panda tried helped too but eventually gave up when his claws cut through three flower stems.

Megumi just rolled his eyes and reminded his senior that you'd probably give him hell for letting Gojo in your dorm room. (Toge tried not to focus on that upcoming lecture too much.)

Eventually, after an entire day of work and a few cuts on his hands, your boyfriend has managed to ready your surprise and patiently waits for you at the entrance of Jujutsu Tech.

"Ah, I feel like my legs are going to fall off," You complain as the three of you walk up the steps to your school.

Maki nods in agreement, "Now I understand why you guys make Yuji carry all the bags."

Like the amazing boyfriend he is, Toge holds out his hands and offers to carry your bags. And any other day you'd have told him it was fine—but damn Nobara took the words 'shop 'til you drop' a little too seriously.

The white-haired boy holds your bags in one hand and uses the other to intertwine his fingers in yours, leading you away from the now complaining redhead, who's whining about also wanting a boyfriend.

His excitement (and nerves) catch up to him and Toge quickens his pace until he's practically dragging you to your dorm room.

"Toge, calm down, you're gonna burn a hole in the floor at this rate," You laugh, matching his pace.

Eventually, the two of you reach the entrance to your dorm room and Toge stops you from opening the door.

He drops the bags on the floor and makes you stand in front of the door as he stands behind you, placing one hand over your eyes and the other on the door knob.

"Ooh, a surprise for me?" You ask with a quiet giggle, closing your eyes intinctivly.

You let Toge lead you inside, it was only a few steps but you had a general idea of the inside of your dorm and knew that you were standing in the middle.

Your boyfriend removes his hand from your eyes, and they immediately go as wide as saucers.

The two of you were standing in the middle of your dorm room—except it didn't look like your dorm room at all.

The usually plain dorm was now decorated to the brim with your favourite flowers, from small vases on your desk to the garland draped over the headboard of your bed.

You stand completely awestruck at the sight, not moving an inch as you try to process everything around you.

Toge waves his hand in front of your face, snapping you out of your trance. "Salmon?"

"You—you did this?" You ask in disbelief, before nodding frevently and wrapping your arms around his neck, "I love it!"

You pull down the zipper of his hoodie and give him a long, loving kiss, "I love it, I love it, I love it!"

The two of you stare at each other with heart eyes.

"I love you," You finally add in a soft tone.

And he doesn't have to say it out loud. Because 296 flowers filling your rooms are relaying the message loud and clear.

Now that's how you say I love you.

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

Legato, Meryl, and Devotion

When first reading, I was struck by the similarities in these two scenes, especially since they are shown so closely together – one at the end of Volume 13, the other at the beginning of 14.

[ID: Two screenshots from Trigun Maximum. The first is from Volume 13. Legato rushes over to a prone Knives, who is practically torn in half. He cries as he desperately tries to gather his insides up with his hands. The second is from Volume 14. Meryl holds the hand of a prone Vash, still holding his gun, and leans her head against it, tears in her eyes. She says "It's okay... you don't have to carry everything on your own. We're in this fight together. Please never forget that." Livio, Milly, and a man from the Earth Federation are in the background. End ID.]

The Independent, severely wounded, is seen by the person who steadfastly and strongly believes in them, devoted to their ideals and persons. The devoted party begins to shed tears over the state of the person they believe in so strongly, while holding them in their hands.

Of course, there are significant differences in the reactions of said Independents to their allies. Knives essentially tells Legato "how dare you cry over me", while Vash, a little later, thanks Meryl for her bravery and steadfastness.

There's also a difference in the way Legato and Meryl react to the scenes as well - Legato, understandably, is the picture of desperation, livid at Vash, grasping at Knives' literal insides as if to try and piece him back together all by himself. Meryl, while no less distressed, reaches out in what is a tender gesture to hold his head and then his hands, and tells him they're in it together. And to me, these differing reactions go a long way in showing us the differences between the kind of devotion they have.

Firstly, the commonalities. Both Legato and Meryl do a lot on a very self-directed basis - they help of their own volition, and do an awful lot of instrumental behind the scenes work to support Knives and Vash, respectively. They both strongly believe in the vision that the one they assist has for the world, and they act accordingly.

But Legato's entire sense of being is based on his connection with Knives (through no fault of his own, really), and his understanding of Knives is based entirely off of the image he has constructed - as the one person who shares his sense of vengeful justice, the one person who could accomplish what Legato had been helpless to do. Meryl has a life and personhood outside Vash, and her understanding of him is a lot more in-depth and personal than simply his ideals - she knows what it means to him to hold a gun, and the weight of taking and sparing a life, something Meryl understands also. Knives and Legato do not ever get the chance to connect in this way.

What all this really leads to is Legato having to make assumptions about who Knives is as a person - and because their meeting was such a pivotal moment for Legato, anything that happens afterwards that doesn't fit the idealized image he constructed there becomes "wrong". When Knives does things that Legato does not understand (typically regarding Vash), Legato tries to remove the source of the "problem", regardless of Knives' actual wishes. Despite Legato's desire to know Knives more personally, he is unable to actually achieve this, and Legato is left to make his own judgements about what is "best" for Knives, which becomes horrifically distorted by his own need for approval and his jealousy. As I've said before, Legato's devotion is ultimately self-serving, and rather than accept that Knives' brother is very important to him, Legato instead takes this as a challenge - since he sees devotion as the height of strength, it does not make sense to him that Vash should have Knives' regard so easily, when he works against him and Legato does so much. To Legato, devotion is loyalty is love is power. It's all the same, tangled up in itself.

What this all leads to is Legato feeling compelled to prove his devotion over and over, and Knives becoming more dismissive as Legato grows more desperate; this paradoxically shoves a wedge even further between them and any understanding of the other's person they could've come to. Legato wants to be instrumental to Knives, but this is really an individual need Legato has - not a true desire to form a collective. Legato wants to be of sole importance to Knives, and Knives, as we know, is the master of self-isolation, going so far as to merge with others of his own kind, but still rejecting mutual understanding.

Meryl, on the other hand, is forced to reconcile hard with the image of the mysterious traveler and pacifist she knew with the horrors of July and the pain the actual person, Vash, walks with every day. Her understanding of this allows for her to share in his ideology while seeing him as a person with flaws that are not things she can simply "fix" - the flaws and wavering are a part of him, and always have been. Meryl's proof of devotion isn't to uphold Vash's image as flawless, nor is it to make decisions in his stead - it is simply her standing at his side and offering support - something that Vash eventually will come to accept (at least a little). It's a shared front that Meryl, Vash, and others like Livio, Milly and Luida put forward to face things head first - they're in it together.

Devotion is simply steadfastness to Meryl, and neither Vash nor Meryl have imposed a formal hierarchy on this - Meryl doesn't serve Vash, she assists him, and calls him out when need be. Devotion to the world he wishes to see. Loyalty and love and respect for his person. But Meryl's strength and power doesn't come from her devotion or from recognition by Vash, it comes from her own propensity to face down her fears. It comes from her.

I think there's a lot more that could be said on this topic, but for now, I'll leave it off here. Maybe on a re-read, I'll have something a bit more substantial to say.

[pancake-breakfast]

Trigun Maximum Volume 9, Chapter 5: Demon and Chapter 6: Fortitude really hit the whole justice, punishment, and mercy themes hard. I guess it's kind of inevitable when you have a religious cult who sees justice as something that's primarily meted out via "punishment" at the end of a barrel of a huge-ass gun.

The whole discussion on these three items is continuous throughout the story, but at this part it's very much focused on the conflict between Wolfwood and Chapel. Or, perhaps, between the teachings Wolfwood received from Chapel and the outlook he's gained from Vash.

It seems like Wolfwood's idea of justice is and has always been different than Chapel's, but Chapel did his best to beat that out of Wolfwood over the years. He wanted Wolfwood to be the perfect assassin, to sever all ties and to kill for the cause without thought or hesitation. It must have taken to some degree, since we still have this scene way back at the beginning of TriMax.

This is the first time Wolfwood goes into battle alongside Vash, and Vash's suggestion that they should try to get through this without killing anyone takes Wolfwood completely by surprise. (In the '98 anime, the subtitles translate Wolfwood's response as, "Don't ask for the impossible!" while the dubs have him say, "Why don't you just ask me not to breathe?") Nonetheless, he does his best. We don't see him take anyone else out until Rai-Dei, and he gets an earful from Vash for doing that.

In fact, it seems like after Vash first repremands him, the only people Wolfwood still goes after with intention to kill are the other Gung-Ho Guns. Even at this point in the story where he's coming after Chapel and Livio, he's done his best to spare all the mercs, with the only casualties being caused by Livio and by the mercs themselves.

And Wolfwood, like Vash did with him, reprimands Livio for the kill he makes.

At this point, Wolfwood's not simply trying to be merciful (if one defines Vash's philosophy as mercy... which seems to be Nightow's intent despite the room for debate on, say, whether all the people Vash injures actually make a decent recovery). Rather, Wolfwood has moved on to preaching it to others he cares about.

And what does that get him? Oh, right. It gets him beat into a pulp by Razlo, with Chapel looming over him, ready to end his life. For justice.

Chapel takes one look at Wolfwood's sorry state and decides to chastise him, to remind Wolfwood that he is a failure and a disappointment, and it is for those reasons that Wolfwood will die.

The thing is... if Wolfwood dies because he refuses to kill Livio/Razlo, I don't think it would be reasonable to say he failed or made a "wrong" choice choice. The moral perspective here is muddy; one person might find Wolfwood's lack of self-preservation morally repugnant despite any attachment Wolfwood might feel to his murderous opponent, but that's not going to be the universal experience. But to label it failure, a sin...?

**Minor spoilers for Attack on Titan ahead; skip a few paragraphs if you want to avoid them.**

I'm reminded of a conversation from Attack on Titan where Captain Levi was debriefing some Scouts after they found themselves in a life-or-death situation against humans rather than titans. Levi had given them all orders to kill since it was a bit of a kill-or-be-killed situation. But this isn't what they signed up for, and one of the Scouts can't bring themselves to take a life when faced with a human enemy.

This hesitating Scout apologizes profusely to Levi for their hesitancy and disobedience. Levi is quick to turn their apology away, not because "it all turned out alright in the end" or "at least you made it through" or any other common platitude, but because he notes his own moral system isn't what any of the other Scouts should base their own moral systems on.

Levi straight up admits he has no idea what the "right" choice was in that scenario. He knows what choice he personally would make, but readily admits that maybe for the hesitating Scout, the "right" choice would always be to refuse to kill, even if it cost the Scout their own life.

**End Minor Attack on Titan Spoilers**

Neither killing nor refusing to kill is necessarily morally superior here.

Chapel treating Wolfwood like his mercy is a flaw is... well, more indicative of the kind of person Chapel is than anything else. Chapel sees mercy as hesitancy and hesitancy as weakness; even if the opponent is fully incapacitated, the merciful person has hesitated to kill, and that might very well lead not only to their own doom, but to failure of their mission. Since the mission is defined as just by nature of it being from the Eye of Michael, then such a failure is shameful and entirely unacceptable, a betrayal of the righteous cause.

In Chapel's eyes, Wolfwood has failed the cause over and over and over again, even going so far as to fail right in front of him when he refuses to kill the mercs and Livio. For these failures, Chapel thinks Wolfwood should pay.

But Chapel's not so blind he doesn't recognize Vash's influence in this. He sees Vash as having turned Wolfwood from a simple traitor to Eye of Michael to someone who would risk their own life to spare another, and his anger that Vash would further "corrupt" his pupil is palpable in the way Nightow frames his dialog.

But, for Wolfwood, it was never just about Vash.

Wolfwood may have been assigned by Knives to escort Vash, but chose to follow Vash in more than just a physical sense. He didn't decide this easily or blindly. He knew the risks, not just from Chapel's teachings, but from his own experience.

But Wolfwood has always been a protector.

Chapel may have tried to run that out of him, to make the thing that Wolfwood "protects" be the Cause over everything else, but he failed. Wolfwood attacked and tried to kill Chapel to protect the orphanage before he ever met Vash. Nothing Chapel or even Knives could do would stop Wolfwood from wanting to prevent any dangers that might come to the orphanage and all those who belonged to it... including Livio, who disappeared from the orphanage before Wolfwood was recruited to Eye of Michael and who has forced him into a position of kill or be killed.

When Wolfwood shoots Livio through the heart, he begs him not to die. I think even without Vash's influence, Wolfwood would have wanted to show Livio mercy. If Livio didn't get back up from that wound, Wolfwood would have never let go of his guilt over pulling the trigger. Which would have suited Chapel just fine; it would have just been one more deserved punishment for Wolfwood.

And without Vash's influence, it's entirely possible Wolfwood would have just accepted that punishment, added the guilt of Livio's death to all the guilt he already feels for all the lives he's taken.

Over their time together, Vash has shown Wolfwood not only that even when pulling a trigger, Wolfwood can be merciful, but also that Wolfwood himself deserves a measure of mercy. Nightow once said of the Punisher in an interview, "But who's being punished?" With each life he takes, Wolfwood punishes himself a bit more, but in working with Vash, he's slowly, painfully, gradually learned that maybe... just maybe... he doesn't have to.

Maybe Wolfwood should be merciful to himself.

The final chapter of Volume 9 ends with Wolfwood trying to pull himself to his feet, not done with the battle yet despite all odds, but even if dies here, we're shown that his regret will not be that he hadn't killed Livo, but that he hadn't saved him.

He probably wouldn't even be so concerned with killing Chapel if he could see a way forward that prevented Chapel from preying on the children in the orphanage. His motivation in taking Chapel's life at this point isn't revenge or even justice. It's simply a matter of protecting that which he holds dear. And because Chapel has no mercy for the children of the orphanage, Wolfwood has no mercy for him.

How ironic that this one time that Wolfwood goes with a calm heart to administer the kind of "justice" the Eye of Michael has instilled in him, it's not in the name of their cause, but in the name of following those ideals he's had since he was just a kid. For once, he would kill without fear or regret, not for the Order, but so he can protect those he loves.

Chapel tries one final time to pound into him all the ways Wolfwood has become a worthless, sullied sinner who won't find redemption even in death, but Wolfwood's having none of it. Despite everything Wolfwood's done, he's come to an understanding and a peace with himself. Chapel's words, meant to hurt and drag down, only fuel his resolve.

Wolfwood's chosen his path. He'll follow what he learned from Vash because regardless of how difficult the path is, it's the path he wants for himself, has always wanted for himself. He won't let his past failures be an excuse to turn from it.